48 Hours - Taken: The Amber Dubois Story

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

On February 13, 2009 Amber Dubois disappeared just blocks from Escondido High School in Southern California. Almost a year later, another teenage girl, Chelsea King, went missing. Chelsea had been running just ten miles from where Amber disappeared. Police found Chelsea’s underwear with DNA evidence that would lead them to the arrest of convicted sex offender, John Gardner, who was out on parole. “48 Hours" correspondent Troy Roberts reports. This classic "48 Hours" episode last aired on 11/6/2010. Watch all-new episodes of “48 Hours” on Saturdays, and stream on demand on Paramount+.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to this podcast ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app today. Even if you love the thrill of true crime stories as much as I do, there are times when you want to mix it up. And that's where Audible comes in, with all the genres you love and new ones to discover. Explore thousands of audiobooks, podcasts, and originals, with more added all the time. Thousands of audiobooks, podcasts, and originals, with more added all the time. Listening to Audible can lead to positive change in your mood, your habits, and even your overall well-being. And you can enjoy Audible anytime, while doing household chores, exercising, commuting, you name it.

There's more to imagine when you listen. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial, and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca. It was 1989 in Titusville, Florida. Kim Halleck said she and her ex-boyfriend Chip Flynn were kidnapped and attacked at gunpoint. Kim fled the scene, but Chip didn't make it out alive. Did you kill Chip Flynn? No, ma'am. Crosley Green has lived more than half his life behind bars for a crime he says he didn't commit. I'm Erin Moriarty of 48 Hours, and of all the cases I've covered, this is the one that troubles me most, involving an eyewitness account that doesn't quite make sense. A sister testifying against a brother.

They always say lies. You can't remember lies. A lack of physical evidence and questions about whether Crosley Green was accused, arrested and convicted because he's black. Just because a white female says a black man has committed a crime, we take that as gospel. Listen to Murder in the Orange Grove, The Trouble Case Against Crosley Green, wherever you get your podcasts. Amber. She'd been waiting for a year for this day.

She's been into animals since she was still in diapers. Her science project is to raise a baby lamb. She was all excited when I left that morning. She was like, thanks, Mom. I love you so much. Thank you for the lamb. I think I've known Amber since she was about four years old. Me and her mom were friends for a long time before we started dating. With funny ears. To me, Amber's my baby girl.

All Amber wanted that day was to go pay for her lamb. And when I left, I wrote the check for her to grab a little bit of her baby girl. All Amber wanted that day was to go pay for her lamb. And when I left I wrote the check for her to grab on her way out the door. Amber say bye bye! I was the last person that seen Amber. I think Dave called and he says Amber never made it to school. And I said what? I knew as soon as Dave said she didn't make it to school someone had taken her. There was no question in my mind.

Tonight a 14 year old girl is missing and Escondido police are asking for your help in finding her. The Amber Dubois case is one of the most frustrating cases that we've been faced. Typically, you have evidence, you have witnesses. In this case, we had nothing. It didn't make sense to me how she could be in front of her school with 2,000 other students and someone was able to take her. It's like she just vanished. Maurice Dubois, Amber's father, did not give up.

Nothing's more important than the search for Amber. Search and rescue volunteers canvassed the area, but still no Amber. We're definitely 100% a team, all of us. We're definitely 100% a team, all of us. Every weekend I get my hopes up. And then the weekend's over and I just fall apart. Mark your holidays with tears. There is no holiday when your child is missing. You know, you start looking at

everybody you know. I mean, you suspect and you don't trust anybody. You think anyone could do it. There's a part of me that I'm not 100% sure when it comes to Dave. Before this all happened, Carrie and I were doing better than we've ever done in the history of our relationship.

And in a matter of no time at all, that all went away. We're getting so much information from different sources saying, you know, you need to look at Dave. Many people said, well, look at the step-parent. It's always the step-parent. Couldn't lay in the same bed with the man who I thought might have done something to my daughter.

Why would you look at me? I don't understand why you would look at me. Do whatever you need to do to find Amber, but hurry up and get done looking at me so you can start looking in the proper direction. Taken, the Amber Dubois story. Let us pray. We ask that you'll watch over each one of the searchers and lead us to that crucial piece of evidence that's going to bring Amber home. Amen.

Amen. It has been 22 days since Amber DuBois disappeared. Amber is a 14 year old girl, 5 foot 5, 130 pounds. And the desperate search for the straight-A student. Search and rescue with the Sheriff's Department. Is in high gear. More than 400 volunteers are combing 200 square miles of countryside on foot. Be observant. Watch for things that are out of place. The crisis has brought together a fractured family. Amber's mom, Carrie McGonigal.

Every morning she'd wake me up before she left for school and give me a kiss and tell me she loved me. Amber's father, Moe Dubois. We're not losing hope, not in any way. And the man Carrie lives with now, Dave Cave. Amber lives at my house and I come home to her every day. She's my daughter to me. She's my baby girl. Amber, say hi.

It's the spirit of a special child that keeps their hopes alive. My daughter Amber is my sweetheart. She's a little girl who always has a little smirk on her face, teasing me all the time, giving me a hard time about my receding hairline, and that's my kid. She loves to read. She has friends at school and stuff, but she doesn't go to the mall.

She hates to shop. She doesn't wear makeup. She's a bookworm. But as the days pass with no breaks in the case, the stress starts taking a toll on all three parents. This is tearing Carrie's heart out of her. She's just, I hate seeing what it's doing to her. It consumes you, you know.

You don't know where your daughter is, you know, or your child is. And it just changes your whole world. I don't want to make it to a month. I want a hug tomorrow. I want a hug tomorrow. I want a hug tonight. I want to see someone call us tonight and say, we've got her. She's coming home.

In the next hour, you'll witness a remarkable and intimate journey. For a year and a half from the time Amber first went missing, 48 hours has been with her anguished family. You'll see how the strain of her disappearance wore them down and for a time tore them apart. The mystery of Amber Dubois' disappearance began here on the day before

Valentine's Day. She was seen by two different parents walking up the street. Amber was last seen around 7 a.m., just blocks from Escondido High School. She was walking by herself the first time, and the second time there was a man standing next to her or a kid. When Amber didn't show up at home by 4.30 that afternoon, her stepfather Dave went looking for her. I went to her first class, and her teacher told me that she had not shown up to class. And immediately I knew something was wrong.

I get a call from Carrie saying, I don't know where Amber is. Hysterical, in tears. Her panicked family went into immediate search mode, retracing Amber's route to school, plastering the town with flyers and knocking on every door in the neighborhood. Nobody in Amber's family is willing to give up hope, even down to the smallest member,

Dave and Carrie's seven-year-old daughter, Allison. She'll hear people say kidnapped or abducted and she kind of freaks out, you know. Amber's not kidnapped, and she wants to search. So at night we go on walks with the dogs, and we go and search for her sister because she wants to participate. Amber's father, Moe, puts his life on hold,

taking a leave from his job as an electrical engineer in Los Angeles and moving to a nearby hotel with his partner, Rebecca Smith. I usually end my night by about two or three hours of crying. I have to have my point to release. If volunteers and everyone around here start to see my frustration, then it'll trickle on through them. As the days pass, hope begins to fade, replaced by a growing suspicion that Amber may have met with foul play in her own home. Escondido police begin focusing

on one member of the family in particular, Amber's stepfather, Dave Cave. How soon after her disappearance did you realize that you were a person of interest? I don't think it actually really set in for me for a couple of weeks. The head searcher said, you can't be involved with any of this search because you do not want to be the person who finds Amber. And I've kind of looked at him like, why not?

And they said, if you're the person that finds something, they are going to pin it on you. I was the last person that's seen Amber. Tell me about the morning of February the 13th. Amber was up and ready to go to school on time without any prompting because she knew she was getting a check to get her lamb. Dave walked us through what he says happened the morning Amber disappeared.

About when I finished getting dressed, Amber came into my room and said, Dave, you got my check for the lamb? And I said, I'll give it to you before I leave, sweetie. So she came up several times and I think it was the fourth time that she asked for the check. I said, sweetie, I will give you a check before I leave. Just go downstairs. You'll have a check. I promise. Just relax. So I came downstairs and I sat down at the table right here. I wrote out the check for the lamb and I walked right in here. I sat the check down on the arm of the couch and Amber was sitting on the floor right there. She was eating a bowl of cereal and I said, sweetie, here's your check for your lamb. I'll see you later. I love you. And I turned around and walked out the door and went about my day.

That was the last you saw of her? Yeah, absolutely. But it was what this man of routine did not do that quickly made him a key suspect. Dave Cave did not show up for work that day. He says he went to the gym and then home to do his taxes. And when I came back to the house, she was gone. So, you know, I figured he went to the gym and then home to do his taxes. And when I came back to the house she was gone so I you know I figured she went to school she should have been at school by then. But while he was at home Dave somehow

did not get the message from the high school secretary alerting them that Amber, the girl with perfect attendance, had failed to show up at school. Barely early on into the investigation, suspicion was swirling around your partner, Dave. Oh, yeah. But eventually, you became suspicious as well. You know, Dave had come to my work that day and brought me some chocolate-covered strawberries

and some roses that day. That's a nice gesture. Yeah. Well, it was. It was for Valentine's Day. It was 13th. Except that Dave doesn That's a nice gesture. Yeah. Well, it was. It was for Valentine's Day. It was the 13th. Except that Dave doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day. And he stuck around for like 45 minutes that day.

And I'm like, I had to ask him to leave. I'm like, Dave, what are you doing here? Go. Another concern for investigators centers on some tension between Dave and Amber that led the family to counseling. Amber and I didn't always get along perfectly. It's a house, there's rules, she's a teenager,

she doesn't want to follow the rules, there's going to be a certain amount of conflict. They really didn't talk for the whole month before Amber went missing. It was a constant bicker. But Dave claims the night before Amber disappeared, they finally called a truce. I know the night before she went missing, we went out and went shopping and went to the bookstore and stuff, and we had a really good time.

But could Amber possibly have said or done something the next morning to set Dave off? Escondido police are taking a hard look at Dave, and the answers he gives police will raise Carrie's suspicions even further. We're sitting with the detectives and everything, and he's telling me what he did that day, and I'm like, just take him in. That's how bad he looked.

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When I went in for my original interview with the police, they took pictures of my hands, take your shirt off pictures of my arms, my back, my chest, to make sure I didn't have any marks on me. Within days of Amber Dubois' disappearance, Escondido police start zeroing in on Dave Cave, the man the missing 14-year-old called her stepfather.

The detectives asked her the question directly, did you kill Amber? They never, I don't think they used the word kill. They asked directly, do you know Amber's whereabouts? Do you know anything about Amber's disappearance? Things like that, and in the polygraph test, they ask questions like that. You took the polygraph exam eight times. Why so many?

They had nothing to go on. They're clearly looking for something to go on. But they kept on coming back to you. Statistics point at me. Statistics point at the male of the household that the child lives in. Did police ever come to you and say, we believe Dave may be responsible

for Amber's disappearance? Did they come straight out and say that? No. Did they hint at that? Absolutely. Well, this is someone that you trust, I would assume. Mm-hmm, I trust. You loved him. Uh-huh, I would assume. Mm-hmm. I trust. You loved him.

Uh-huh. He's the father of my child. But you also believed he was capable of murder? I had doubt. Did Carrie ever ask you the question, were you responsible for her disappearance? Oh, absolutely. She asked you. This is a woman you're in love with. And she suspected you as well. She asked you. This is the woman you're in love with. And she suspected you as well.

Mm-hmm. What did this do to your relationship with Carrie? I don't know where my... I don't know where Carrie and I's relationship goes in the future. Six weeks after Amber goes missing, Carrie makes a heart-wrenching decision. She packs up and moves out, taking Allison, the daughter she shares with Dave.

Did the police tell you to move out? Nope. You decided on your own? Oh, I had to. Why? I couldn't lay, because I couldn't lay in the same bed with the man who I thought might have done something to my daughter. Did I think honestly that Dave premeditated this, that he could have? No. Did I think maybe Amber bugged himitated this that he could have no did I think maybe?

Amber bugged him five or six times about the check like she did and There was maybe a confrontation. Maybe she'd fell down the stairs. I don't know what like I can't tell you what went on through my head But did I think that Dave? Planned to kill amber absolutely not I think an accident might have happened? Yeah. And he hit it. Yeah. I feel like I'm 100 years old.

It's taken a huge toll on everybody. It's just destroyed everybody's lives. Dave neglects his scaffolding business, which begins to crumble. I was the driving force of my company, and I quit driving. And we're paying the price. I don't know that we make it through.

And Amber's father, Moe, loses his job and his savings financing the search. With no leads in the case, the whole family lives in a constant state of paranoia. I'm scared to death that something could happen to Allison. My daughter pretty much doesn't get out of my sight when she's with me. She doesn't go to the playground here without somebody sitting in that front yard. I just, I've lost faith in people. My heart tells me she's still alive and we're going to find her.

My heart tells me she's still alive and we're gonna find her. In August, six months after Amber vanished, Carrie's mother hires a team of LiveSense search and recovery dogs to retrace Amber's steps on the last day she was seen. Quincy and Jack are trained to follow the odor of one specific person and to exclude all others. They have an outstanding track record when it comes to cold cases. They followed the trail from our house up the freeway. The dogs lead searchers to Escondido High School. And then along a 15-mile stretch of highway to the remote Pala Indian Reservation.

It's a baffling clue. I've never brought her here and so I believe that she was brought here by whoever took her. Carrie is convinced Amber is still nearby and alive. She's probably within, what, 50 mile range, I think.

Which just drives me crazy. But then you look around here and look how much land there is to cover. You know, I got to keep the faith. It's hard. After countless sleepless nights, on February 13, 2010, Amber's family find themselves marking the one year anniversary of her disappearance. That one is. Grab a table, Cody. We decided to have a walk-a-thon to help raise money to further her search efforts.

It's a nightmare. You know, every day, you know, it never ends. We're back at square one. You know, something's got to break in this case. We just don't know when or how, but somebody knows something. Escondido Police and Sheriff's Homicide Detectives were following a lead in the case when they made this discovery. Breaking news. Authorities are searching a North County neighborhood this morning in hopes of finding a missing teenager. Almost a year to the day that Amber Dubois disappeared. She's about five foot five, weighs 115 pounds. Her family wakes to the news that another promising teen is missing.

My roommate came into my room and she said, Carrie, there's another girl missing. She's 17. Her name's Chelsea. Chelsea King, an Honors High School student, fails to return from her afternoon run near Lake Hodges. Her car found at the Rancho Bernardo Community Center. Just 10 miles from where Amber disappeared. Her grief-stricken parents, Brent and Kelly King, appeal for help.

Anybody out there, if you know anything, please just help us bring her home. She's a great kid. She's such a good girl. She needs to come home. What was your immediate thought? My immediate thought is I wanted to get in my car and drive over there and help search for her. The next morning, armed with 3,000 flyers and hundreds of volunteers, Amber's family joins the search for Chelsea. I knew it was a very, very difficult time for them,

and whatever support we can give to them, the family, the group, we wanted to be there for that. I said a prayer that she was found fast. But while searchers combed the area, unbeknownst to the public, police had already discovered a vital clue. Chelsea's underwear and socks are found near a running trail. They are sent to a lab for DNA testing. Then, just 72 hours later, the San Diego Sheriff makes a stunning announcement. At approximately 4.20 this afternoon, investigators with the Fugitive Task Force

arrested 30-year-old John Albert Gardner III. DNA on Chelsea's underwear is linked to John Gardner, a convicted sex offender on parole with a criminal record dating back 10 years. Gardner had recently spent six years in prison for savagely beating and sexually assaulting a 13-year-old girl. And Gardner is also identified by another woman, Candace Moncayo, as the man who attacked her on the same jogging trail

just two months earlier. He threw me down onto the ground, and he pinned me to the ground. Like I said, I was screaming, and he said, shut up, and I said no. Moncayo told her story to CNN's Larry King. I said, well, you're going to have to kill me first, because I thought that he was trying to rape me.

He said, that, you're going to have to kill me first because I thought that he was trying to rape me. He said, that can be arranged. But Moncayo, the daughter of a world kickboxing champion, was fighting for her life. I took my right elbow and I bashed him in the nose. And he grabbed his face and turned away from me. And I got up and I ran faster than I think I've ever run in my life. Under questioning, Gardner denies any involvement in King's disappearance or the attack on Moncayo. Just 48 hours later, San Diego D.A. Bonnie Dumanis is meeting with top cops when they get the news everyone has been dreading. We were all sitting around the table when every beeper in the room started going off.

You could just feel the room change, and they were notified, each one of them, that they had found Chelsea and that she was not alive. Devastating news from Lake Hodges, after investigators announced they believe they have found the body of 17-year-old Chelsea King in a shallow grave. Gardner is charged with the murder of Chelsea King and the attack on Moncayo. Despite Gardner's arrest, Amber's family still doubts he has anything to do with her disappearance. Does it feel like to you that John Gardner might have abducted your daughter? No, but I don't know if that's just denial. Carrie appears on CBS's The Early Show with Harry Smith the day after Gardner's arrest.

You think somebody else may have done it? Yeah, he seems a little sloppy in what he does. As of yesterday, they hadn't found anything that linked him with Amber. But behind the scenes, a secret agreement is being hammered out. Gardner's attorneys are quietly reaching out to San Diego D.A. Dumanis, trying to save Gardner from an almost certain trip to death row. The discussion was, I think we can lead you to Amber Dubois. We had a family that didn't know what happened to their daughter. And if we could bring Amber home, that was the most

important part of this conversation. With the blessing of Chelsea King's family, the state makes a deal. If Gardner will lead them to Amber, prosecutors will not pursue the death penalty against him for Chelsea's murder. It was a serious and heavy agreement. And we made the decision and kept it very secret. You don't know whether or not he's telling the truth. You don't know whether you're really going to find Amber.

And you don't want to raise the hopes or the fears of the family before you know. Late the following evening, Carrie and Mo are summoned to the Escondido Police Station. Mo and I had no idea why we were there. The time, the fact that they asked us to come in immediately. And my heart just dropped. I knew at that point it wasn't going to be good. In the Pacific Ocean, halfway between Peru and New Zealand, lies a tiny volcanic island.

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I was struck by both how spooky it was, but also how outrageous it was. Listen to Candyman, the true story behind the bathroom mirror murder, early and ad-free, with a 48-hour plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. I knew when I got the phone call. I knew it was bad.

Thirteen months after Amber Dubois disappeared, Escondido police delivered the news her parents had been dreading. And they said, we found remains last night, and we were able to identify them to confirm that it's Amber's remains. Carrie and Mo sat down with us just hours later. I was still holding out, but when they told me, it was a sense of relief. Closure. Denial. Denial.

It really hurt the most when they described the condition, her condition, and I wasn't ready to hear that. They don't have all of her yet. Her entire body has not yet been recovered. We don't know if it's because of wild animals or what, but we just know our whole baby hasn't been recovered yet. Human skeletal remains have been positively identified as being those of our missing 14-year-old Amber. In a bitter irony, investigators finally locate Amber's remains near the Pala Reservation,

just a mile from where the live scent dogs led Amber's family just six months earlier. And her family learns that Gardner, a convicted sex offender, had hundreds of parole violations, which should have sent him back to prison months earlier. He should not have been on the street. He didn't belong on the street. But Gardner's confession clears up one mystery that's been haunting Amber's family. Dave is no longer a suspect. How did you feel when he was cleared? I felt, well, I felt relief.

Right. You know, of course. Did you feel a little guilty? No. No. To my daughter. But Dave is still struggling to understand why Carrie ever had doubts about him. There's hurt that will never, that will never pass. I've had things said to me that are more hurtful than anything that's ever been said to me in my life.

People that should have had 100% faith in me didn't. And that's a hurt that's never going to go away. Friends and family gather three weeks later as Amber is laid to rest. Friends and family gather three weeks later as Amber is laid to rest. I carry Amber close to me and she's by my side and she always will be. I feel a sense of closure. I think he feels devastated. Where my anger is going to keep me going to bring justice for Amber.

Judge, on the 1.30 calendar, item number 16, John Albert Gardner. On April 16, 2010, in a San Diego courtroom, John Gardner pleads guilty to the slayings of Amber and Chelsea and the attack on jogger Candace Moncayo. Do you admit the truth of those facts? Yes. But Gardner's guilty plea is not enough for Carrie, who feels the need to confront her daughter's killer face to face.

Why did you need to speak with him? I needed answers. To what questions? How he got Amber. You know, I needed to know if she cried for me, if she begged for her life. Authorities won't let Carrie see Gardner, so she takes to waiting at the entrance to the jail,

sparking a confrontation with Gardner's mother, a psychiatric nurse. I just want to visit your son. Excuse me. Don't touch me. I'll get you to stay. I'm not. Stay away from her. I'm not here to harass you. I want to talk to your son and find out why he murdered my daughter.

It pisses me off that the mom didn't go public and say, I'm sorry, you know, my son's a monster. You know, he's still my son. I still love him because he's my son. But I'm sorry, I reach out to the families and apologize for his behavior. You know, she just runs. And I just think that's weak. Leave my mom alone.

What about Gardner? Why would she let Gardner visit with Amber's mom? She didn't let Gardner do anything. We're sorry. We're sorry. You don't even know. Then, just two days before sentencing, Why would she let Gardner visit with Amber's mom? She didn't let Gardner do anything. We're sorry. We're sorry. You don't even know. Then, just two days before sentencing,

Carrie is granted a meeting with Gardner. I had been coached by Escondido Police Department that if I showed rage, if I showed anger, that I wouldn't get the answers that I wanted. And so when I went in there, I had a mindset of just, I'm going in to ask the questions. The biggest thing was, how did he get my daughter? How was he able to get Amber in his car? And when he finally told me how it happened, it made sense then.

According to Gardner, he was driving in the neighborhood at about 7 in the morning when he spotted Amber walking alone down an empty side street. She wasn't anywhere where any of us thought she was. She was not anywhere near the school. In an exclusive interview with 48 Hours, convicted killer John Gardner told us exactly how he abducted and murdered Amber DuBois. I passed her driving down the street, and that's the first time that I saw her. down the street, and that's the first time that I saw her.

I pulled up next to her with the windows down in the car. I had the knife out and visible, and told her that I also had a gun, and to get in the car or it was gonna be a lot worse. She actually looked at me in kind of shock and disbelief and asked me if I was kidding. And I raised my voice and yelled, no, get the F in the car. I could see the whole thing, how she looked at him

and how she was, how she was scared when she saw him. I drove to the remote area and on driving, I put the music on. She wanted to hear music so that she could pretend she wasn't there. During the 40-minute ride to the Indian Reservation, Gardner says a terrified Amber badgered him, begging him to let her go.

She asked me why I was doing it, what was wrong. But she wasn't crying. She never cried. And she just kept going, why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? And asking a lot of questions. When we got up to the Paula area, I turned into, like a little, it's a little plateau dirt area that was just off of that road. And that's where everything, the rest of it took place.

He took her to the location. He raped her. And then out of the blue, he doesn't know why, he just grabbed the knife, ran over her, and stabbed her. For a half an hour, Carrie listened spellbound as Gardner filled in the missing pieces of her daughter's last day on Earth. But surprisingly, instead of breaking her,

Carrie says it gave her strength. So how did you feel when you left that meeting? Great. Felt great? I felt great. Because? Because I had, in my opinion, I had complete closure. I had the answers I was looking for.

I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, which is something I hadn't seen for 13 months. I'm the most dangerous type of sexual predator. I never want to be let out. I will kill. I am the type that needs to be locked up forever. Hot shot Australian attorney Nicola Gaba was born into legal royalty. Her specialty?

Representing some of the city's most infamous gangland criminals. However, while Nicola held the underworld's darkest secrets, the most dangerous secret was her own. She's going to all the major groups within Melbourne's underworld, and she's informing on them all. I'm Marsha Clark, host of the new podcast, Informants Lawyer X. In my long career in criminal justice as a prosecutor and defense attorney, I've seen some crazy cases, and this one belongs right at the top of the list. She was addicted to the game she had created.

She just didn't know how to stop. Now, through dramatic interviews and access, I'll reveal the truth behind one of the world's most shocking legal scandals. Listen to Informants Lawyer X exclusively on Wondery+. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. And listen to more Exhibit C true crime shows early and ad-free right now. It's sentencing day for John Gardner,

and Amber's mother, Carrie, is preparing a victim impact statement for court. All right. I'm going to have to try to read this a million times before I, so I don't cry today. Fifteen months ago, I kissed my daughter goodbye. I don't think I can read this. S***. I read it last night.

Today, after 15 months of the most agonizing pain, worry, anger, and grief, I am supposed to address the court and put into words the impact of the criminal acts this stranger brought upon my loving daughter. I'll never forget the pain that you caused or the loss I feel. I'll never forget that you stole from me God's most precious gift. For the crime of murder in the first degree of Amber Dubois, life in prison without the possibility of parole. life in prison without the possibility of parole. Just after receiving his formal life sentence, John Gardner continued his exclusive interview with us. I'm the most dangerous type of sexual predator.

I will kill. I know I will. I am the type that needs to be locked up forever. Gardner says he's been violent since he was a child and has taken countless medicines. I was on about 16 to 20 different medications throughout my life. Lithium, Tegretol, Melarell. These are drugs usually prescribed to control severe psychiatric disorders, but Gardner says nothing has helped him control his

rage. I've done things to my family members. I've hurt them. I've hit people. I've beaten people. I've done a lot of things that I regret in my life and I wish I could take back, but I still do the same things over and over again. I'm on meds right now, and you can see the anger in my eyes just of trying to talk. I get angry. I blow up. I explode in my eyes just of trying to talk. I get angry, I blow up, I explode. I don't know how to describe it. I feel like I'm out of control of myself at times and then I go and I do things that I regret for the rest of my life. He claims he's haunted by the memories of his victims. It's like torture. I hurt so many people in such a bad way and I have to live with that knowledge.

But he has trouble saying he's remorseful. Honestly, I do have remorse. The word remorse, I regret it completely. I don't even know what the meaning of that word remorse is. I say regret. I regret everything that I've done. I think he's a sociopath. I don't think any sociopath is capable of remorse. San Diego DA Bonnie Dumanis believes the tears Gardner shed in the courtroom were just an act. I think what we saw was Mr. Gardner trying to make us feel that he had remorse. make us feel that he had remorse. And the true Gardner came out when Candace said, how's your nose?

I came here today to stand as a witness for Chelsea and Amber. It was a brief but revealing moment. And it came when Candace Moncayo gave her statement in court. Candace is the jogger who survived her encounter with Gardner by punching him in the nose and outrunning him. I came to watch as justice is served for the horrifying acts he has committed. And finally, to ask him how his nose is. And just like that, the rage in his eyes. That's the real Gardner.

On May 17, 2010, John Gardner was transferred to Corcoran State Prison. In 2010, John Gardner was transferred to Corcoran State Prison. I'm probably going to twiddle my thumbs in some solitary confinement and beat myself up for however long that I'm around. And eventually, it will happen, eventually. Someone will come and get to me. But he says the sooner death comes, the better. That will be a release for me. I'm going to torture myself more with the memories that I have

and how much I beat myself up of it than death itself. And I'll probably, it's either going to be that or I'll end up killing myself, one of the two. I can't stand to be confined. I'm like an animal, just like they said, I'm an animal. I can't stand to be confined. I'm like an animal. Just like they said, I'm an animal. How do you begin to move forward in this new normal of your life?

Well, I'll never forget, you know. Taking things slow, you know. Enjoying time with Allison, Amber's little sister. Hey, baby. What enjoying time with Allison, Amber's little sister. Hi, baby. What's up with that? Thank you. But remarkably, today Carrie says she's finally able to forgive the man

who killed her daughter. I have to say it's Amber making me forgive him. But I have to forgive in order to live my life. I could sit here and be angry at the world, but where's that going to get me? How's that going to benefit my 7-year-old daughter that I have to raise still? And at least for now,

Dave and Carrie will be raising her together. They're in counseling and living together again. There are times when everything is nice and mellow, and there are times that everything isn't quite so nice and mellow, and that's, you know, that's the way it's going to be. We can only go one day at a time. Pretty much it. One day at a time. Pretty much it. One day at a time. If you like this podcast, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling

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