93X Half-Assed Morning Show - 5th Annual Border Bash (St. Croix Casino - Turtle Lake)

Episode Date: October 10, 2026

Originally Aired October 9, 2026: 5th Annual Border Bash Live from St. Croix Casino - Turtle Lake. Listen & subscribe to the show on the 93X app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Text the show at 651-551-9393. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Oh, hey, you beautiful podcast, people. Dana here, and I'll just cut right to the chase and tell you about standard heating and air conditioning because I know you're looking forward to the show. Winter is coming. The time to get your furnace wrenched on is now before the thing craps out and the boys blow the belt shrivel up into pebbles because your house is so cold. Go to standardheating.com today and book that tune-up. Mention 93X and save a big double nickel.

Yeah, 55 bucks off the price of those commenters would have to pay. All right. Enjoy the show, you beautiful people. I'm serious. You look great. Whatever you're doing, it's working. The 93X half-assed morning show. Ninety-three.

All right. Sometimes you just got a letter buck and try something new. Can't be shy. You got to just give her hell. Welcome folks to the 5th annual 93X half-ass morning show Border Bash. This is the largest crowd I've ever seen in my life. This is overwhelming. Oh, man, it's overwhelming.

I've been to where have we been, Josh? We've been to WrestleMania X Fest. We've been to playoff hockey Lilith Fair Zold out Vikings games.

Gang bangs and all the like. Sperm banks. We've been everywhere. This is the largest crowd I've ever. I mean, listen to the roar of the crowd. It's the largest crowd has got to be a good

25 or 6 people here in the record. breaking. Let's start by thanking everyone from St. Croy Casino Turtle Lake. Where are the... Yeah, thank you so much. Thank you. This is our fifth time here with the Half Fast Morning Show. And I remember I was in

the sales office when they made the telephone call and said, you know, would you have us out again? And they said, absolutely not. But then some threats were made and contracts were signed and there's no backing out at this point. So thank you to everyone for showing up. It really is wonderful to be back here for a fifth consecutive year. First off, let's find out who we're dealing with. How many of you is by a round of applause or hollering, screaming, whatever you want to do,

how many of you are, Wiscoe, folks? Wow, that's a lot. That's troubling. Smaller than I thought, though. Oh, is it really? Yeah. That was pretty good. Wisconsin people.

Okay. And then how many of you came from good old-fashioned, full-blown? for alarm Minnesota. All right, that's even better. That's reassuring. It doesn't matter. We're happy. It's good to see all of you.

So this is what radio looks and feels like in the afternoon. It's weird. I'm uncomfortable. You don't like it? No, I don't like it. I prefer it. I like it. And if there's a general manager in the vicinity,

let's make this a regular thing. Oh, they've made empty promises before, Cubby. that home broadcast equipment will be here any day now. You haven't bought your own yet? Join the club. But yeah, I mean, I kind of dig it. I mean, I can tell you one thing that's different about this broadcast than any of our morning shows. Over nearly 30 years now is I showered before I showed up.

It does make a difference. As soon as you said that, I was hoping you, would go on that route. Because yeah, I showered this morning. Look it, guys, I did my hair. You look gorgeous. I'm wearing makeup. You always look good.

Every crevice is squeaky clean. Oh, yeah. And that's a rarity. In morning radio, as a matter of fact, in, again, the near 30 years, I can only think of one other time where I showed before the 93X-HFS morning show, and that's because I slept on the toilet. I was going to ask if you threw up on yourself. No, it was to sleep on the toilet night.

Yeah, the only times, despite when I first started, because when I first started at the show, I remember you guys took me aside maybe like a month or two in. You're like, yeah, hey, hey, hey, you don't need to try. It's like makeup thing you're doing. Hey, rookie, we smell deodorant. Yeah. Why are you wearing pants? Yeah.

You came in with your hair was beautiful in the makeup, and we said, yeah, you just roll out from under a bus, for Christ's sake. It doesn't really matter. So you told me to chill out And then, yeah, the only times that I've ever showered Is because, like, I've had to wash off the shame of the night before Right, right. That's about when I've done it. There are some extreme circum...

What do you make of radio in the afternoon? Cubby, my life partner? I'm a lot more drunk than I usually am in the morning. Are you turned? Yeah. Yeah, I'm a very intoxicated. Josh turned. What, did someone burp in your face or something?

I mean... I walked by... I heard a joke that I'd never heard before from a gentleman over there where he, you know, he had a problem with his beer. They kept getting holes in them. So we'd have to go get a new one. They'd be liquid in it. Once I get it, next second, it's gone. Well, I've had three beers already, but only drank two because Ashley chucked one of mine on the floor.

Okay. All right. I kept putting my foot in the wrong spot on the table. They say it ain't a party till something gets broke or spilled. Well, about an hour ago, I have my beer on the table and she did this. Weep. and just turn the whole sum bit. You did the same thing at Creed.

At the Creed concert, you knocked over. I don't know what's wrong. What's going on? So I put my foot on like, you know, tables have like two legs on them, right? And it's kind of like a slippery surface here. And so I put my foot on one of the legs of the table. And then, whoop, table went, beer went. And then I did it again.

She tossed Akura's light on the floor already. And I'm the drunk one. He caught it. It was impressive. You are the drunk one. I'm the drunk one and you're the one doing that. Well, tell me about, you know, what folks can expect from drunk Josh. A lot of truths.

Just about kind of like some government stuff. I mean, I know what you do to me when you're drunk. I want to know what other folks want to know what to expect from you. Well, the folks that I want to be affectionate with, I'll be affectionate with. That's kind of how it goes when I drink, which is quite a few of you. We got a good-looking crowd, though. We do. Good-looking crowd.

I see some people that have been here year after year, which we certainly appreciate. Thank you very much for that. Yeah, who's been here before? Yeah, we were kind of hoping you folks would find something new to do. We'll figure it out. Who's a brand new first-timer type? That's good to see. That's cool.

Yeah, people are still interested. We don't care. We're just going to sit here and pray for 7 o'clock. Is that 7? Oh, gosh. Yeah, they expect us to be on until 7 o'clock. What are we going to do? What am I a cybor?

What the heck are we going to do? We're not that interesting. Where's that AI when you need it? I know. The Kardashians are using that. Did you get... Oh my gosh. Tell me more about the Kardashians and artificial.

I was not expecting the Kardashians. I just realized, I was like, wait, I was going to say, did you guys see their new show? Now, we know that they are artificial. But tell us about their connection to artificial intelligence. Their new season came out. And so in like the trailer or like the first, I guess, I don't know. like five minutes of their show. This Gail's yawning already.

She was just in shock. I saw her in the hallway. She said, you're not going to talk about the Kardashians, are you? Anyway, go ahead, yes.

They intro it with like, you know, the typical Kardashians. So you have Chloe and Courtney and Kendall, all the girls. And I guess they're AI. And so then come in walking like the real deal Kardashians. And they're like,

they're saying like, AI could never be us kind of vibe. You could never duplicate this ass. Basically. With artificial. I personally can't wait to get back to the hotel and watch that tonight. That sounds lovely. I watched the whole episode and I'm excited for the next one.

It comes out on Wednesday. Oh, great. I hope so. I'll keep you guys updated. Thank you. As long as you're happy, we're happy. So we're going to F around a little bit and jaw jack back and forth. Maybe get some of you people involved between now and 7 o'clock.

To show our appreciation for the live crowd. We do have this big obnoxious 93X box up here on our broadcast table. And I guess I would like this today to be our comment box. So if you have something cute, funny or fresh, you want to say, a smart mouth comment, a complaint. If there's like an old story that we've told on the show before, that you like to be told to you in person again, whatever the hell is on your mind, find yourself a pen, a piece of paper,

toss it in the comment box. Like I said, we're on till seven. Yeah. You got to find something to do. We don't just urinate material, you know. Is there a scheduled nap time? Sometimes we need to ask for. So just if you're interested, it's not a big deal.

Later on, I think we're going to play some type of a sex game. No, not going to be that one. Tell us about the sex game. And then we'll get back to the comment this man made over here. Rude comment that he made a second ago. Well, this sex game is due to an odd choice. Ashley made on the way here. On the way here, Ashley stopped at a sex shop.

Slash tobacco shop. A sex shop. All in one. I went for the tobacco. You know you're in frigging Wisconsin, right? Was there somebody in back cleaning a deer at the same time? So anyway, she stopped at a sex shop. You tell us what happened, Ashley. Yeah.

So I, shoot, I'm forgetting the name off the top of my head, of course. Who's the biggest pervert or something like that? Yeah. So the game that I found is called Who's the Biggest? pervert. And so the goal of the game is to obviously find out who the biggest pervert is. And you go through these cards.

Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker hoping for sex as a payment for the ride? I've been on the other end. No, but I bet our grandparents did, don't you think? Back in the day? They probably didn't have Tinder. Yeah, nowadays I'd be afraid I'd be, you know, cut into a million pieces and

good odds. Yeah, in the 70s, I bet older folks did. So we're going to do something with the sex game later and maybe turn it into some kind of a drinking game. I don't know if we're going to keep track of everyone's top score. I just have to give a sneak peek. Read one of the cards. Read one more of them.

Have you ever had an erotic dream featuring a family member? Oh God. We are in Wisconsin. Nick's family member. Yeah, I was going to say, you've probably fantasized. Yeah, you've got dirty things in your mind about my. So we might get around together. Throw that card away. That's disgusting.

And, of course, you know, we'll throw some tunes in quite a few of them, really, if we start to get boring. And we can commiserate and have some fun. So it'll be a little different than the half-fast morning show where we're almost mainly running our yaps. We'll also throw some music in. And speaking of music,

I would like to maybe break out the ukulele for you people. I don't know how well this is kind of an awkward position to play my ukulele. Can you hear that all right? Yep. All right. I wrote a song about Wisconsin. Oh, God.

And we can all, you know, play a part in it. It's meant to be a sing-along, so I decided I would bring my ukulele and play a song. This is a lot of lines. Well, no, a lot of this is just a main court. You're not an artist. You don't even understand. Please. Are you an artist?

No, you are not. So just don't be critiquing my... Josh got me this ukulele for my birthday. And so far I've learned three chords, and I'm going to show you those three chords this afternoon. And again, hopefully you can hear it. It's meant to be a sing-along. And I've wrote it to the tune of You Are My Sunshine,

because that's the only song I've learned so far on the ukulele. Okay, so it's about Wisconsin. Let me teach you the, let me teach you the, What do they call it in the business, Josh? The chorus first. This is how it starts off. F in Wisconsin. What's that noise in the background?

Is that my phone or something? No, it's somebody's watching. Oh, okay. Here we go again. F in Wisconsin. F in Wisconsin. Some people hate you. In every way.

Can I go back to this? I don't agree, dear, you love to drink beer. Please don't hate Wisconsin today. Not today. Not today, because we're having a party. We want all nothing but good vibes. So now that you heard that chorus, hopefully you can remember the words. Sing along with me this time.

I'll go slow. F in Wisconsin. F in Wisconsin. Some people hate you in every. Some people hate you in every way. I don't agree, dear, you love to drink beer. I don't agree, dear, you love to drink beer. Please don't hate Wisconsin today.

Where are the cords here, Covey? Please don't hate. Well, no, this one. Yeah, this is right. Hate Wisconsin today. Written and performed by Nick Forn. Now, here's the first verse. Where I wanted to sing about some of the things that make Wisconsin so great.

Okay? Elderly smokers. Video poker. Serial killers. Shopping at Coles. A roadside strip club. Drugs from a bathtub. Ryan Suter and three Super Bowls.

Where are the Packer fans? Now we go back to the chorus. F in Wisconsin. F in Wisconsin. Some people hate you in every way I don't agree dear You love to drink beer Please don't hate Wisconsin when?

Today Second verse sounds like the first You love to Dear Hunt Your wife's a real kid real character. Heyward sucks. Whoops, wrong, wrong deal here. Heyward sucks. Where am I, Josh? Here it is. Heyward sucks. Yeah, that's it. Hey, I lost it. You love to deer hunt. Your wife's a real character. Yeah, this is it. Hey, word sucks. Got it. And spooner blows. Screwing and

busing with your first cousin out in the fish house so nobody knows we close it out with the what do you call it the chorus F in Wisconsin F in Wisconsin

I'll tell you some people hate you in every stinking way I don't agree dear These don't H. Wisconsin today. How long did that take you to write?

Dude, that's impressive. Six years. Let's see here. The part about Hayward sucks and Spooner blows, I've known that for years. Thank you. You're a wonderful crowd. I wanted to include a little live music into the bench.

Yeah, that's fun. Yeah. What time is it? Do we got to take a break? Probably, yeah. People are waiting on us back at the studio. Drink up, have a good time. We'll be back with more in a few minutes on the half-fice morning show.

93X. Oh, hey, you beautiful podcast, people. Dana here, and I'll just cut right to the chase and tell you about standard heating and air conditioning because I know you're looking forward to the show. Winter is coming. The time to get your furnace wrenched on is now before the thing craps out and the boys blow the belt shrivel up into pebbles because your house is so cold. Go to standardheating.com today and book that tune-up.

Mention 93X and save a big double nickel. Yeah, $55. bucks off the price of those commenters would have to pay. All right. Enjoy the show, you beautiful people. I'm serious. You look great. Whatever you're doing, it's working. Keep it up. Years of hard work, and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints. You need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer.

Dave Bialki. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialkylaw. that's b i a lk e law dot com and it spells relief for you the games just ended the conversation starts now the nfl digital reaction show and without further ado player of the day play of the day game of the day team of the day and the fan of the day in the nfl no wait no breaks no time to waste it's nfl instant graham with josh graham live sundays at seven p m eastern on youtube and listen any time on your favorite platform. The Last morning show.

They are an alternate reality than ours. They are in that rock and roll rock reality. They surround themselves with these professional dickheads. And I'm not even really sure if they're aware. I don't think they're aware of how much they suck. 93X rocks. Hey, look at this incredible crowd here at St. Croix Casino Turtle Lake. The 93X Half Fast Morning Show is broadcasting live from the sports book here at St. Croix.

Our very first afternoon broadcast. Feels weird. God help us. We're getting it done. All right. Well, we're back. Doing our thing here live from the casino. You know, Josh, I didn't tell you this, but after we leave out of here tomorrow, I'm going to hit a popular,

how do you call it in the business, tourist attraction here in Wisconsin. Cruising chubbies? Where are you going? Cruising chubbies. Oh, God. That's a story. We could tell a couple of stories about that joint. No, I'm not going to cruise and chubbies. Are you going to like an apple orchard?

No, no, no, no. A winery? What did you shout there from the cheap seats? Phipps, no, I'm not going to Phipps. I got 86th out of that joint. Geez, I can't think of anything else. I'm going to go to the, no, I didn't get in trouble at fifths. I've been there many times.

I imagine it's pretty tough to get thrown out of that joint. I'm going to go to the spot where Tony Romo got his DWI. Has that become a tourist attraction? Where is that? Yeah. He got to go this away, that away. I'm going to go to the spot where Romo got his Dewey and... Lay some flowers down?

Yeah. War went out for him. Cruising Chubbies. Who's been there? Make some noise. You've been to Cruze and Chubbies gentleman's club. One he is? One's been there.

Over there. Oh, there's a guy in the back. Number two. God. He looks like the type that goes to say Cruz and Chubbies. It's over there, Wisconsin Dells, right? In that neighborhood, right? You drop your kids off at the water park and then you head him over to Cruze and Chubbies?

That's a long time ago. Phipps. I used to go to Phipps a lot. I got a buddy's got a Cabot in Hayward. We go in there now and again. But Cruz and Chubby's got it spent easily 25 years. That was where I just got, I got wrecked out of my mind on the way there. I mean.

Is that the one that's, because I know there's one in Wisconsin here that my friends have talked about. That's like basically out of a trailer. Oh, that's Misty Pines. Oh, okay. All right, right, right. Yeah. They love that one. And everyone's wondering, who's the pervert? Yeah. Many years ago, like 25 years

ago, we decided to road trip to Madison to watch Bucky Badger play football. A friend of mine is from that area. And so he said, hey, my folks still have season tickets to the Badgers if you want to go watch

and play. We're young. We didn't have anything better to do. So we got in the vehicle, you know, road sodas the whole friggin way. Not that I'm advocating that kind of a thing, but I got so... It was. It was years ago. I was so wrecked, Cubby, before we even walked into the joint. God knows what happened while

I was there, but the next morning we wake up and I'm sleeping on the floor of my pal's house and I had this just disgusting, obnoxious cruising Chubbies T-shirt laying next to it. It was neon, green, and pink.

Oh, that's how you know you had a good night. And I picked it up and I said, well, who's the douche that bought this terrible t-shirt? And they said, you, you dildo, for Christa. I guess I was just, uh, yeah. The best nights I've ever had, or when I come home and I realize I have some bar merch. Like, why did I buy a $45 sweatshirt that says Kazi's Bar? Cozies. Causeys, come on.

Show some respect. Well, that's just because you, that shows. You had a good time. Okay, so you're a great crowd. We appreciate it, of course. Thanks for coming out. One of the ideas we had right from the get-go that I mentioned a while back was we have our little comment box up here. We've got a lot of time to fill on this special afternoon broadcast.

So we asked you, folks, if you had any kind of a cute comment, you had any kind of a complaint, if there's a story you'd like, whatever. You throw your comment into the comment box. Well, here's the first batch. Some of you need to get better with your handwritten. It's embarrassing. What? Oh, okay.

You're going to yell that. Yeah. There's some comments. That was loud and clear. Apparently, we... See, it's touchy in here. It's touchy in here. Somebody wants water?

Oh, I think I can help you with that. Hold on a second. Let me see if this works. If you want to imitate that gimmick, you've got to shout that with a lot more gusto. There you go. That was pretty good. That's how the professionals do it, right?

You don't sound dehydrated enough, though. Yeah. There we go. Josh has got the sound machine. All right, so here's the first batch from the comment box. Now, first off, we got an individual here who wants to let us know his Jesus name. And this is quite a unique one. Bovine semen slinging Jesus.

Wow. Yikes. Man. What's bovine semen? Pardon me? What's bovine semen? anyway he could probably fling some towards you

yeah that's Ashley that is oh am I having a dumb blonde moment oh I'm not sure what's happening but bovine having to do with cattle Jesus I've never seen you look so confused sorry I don't know Anyway

bovine seaman slinging Jesus put a comment into the comment box and he simply says talk slow remember you are in Wisconsin Where is he I just want to know whose hand not to shake. Well, yeah.

Where's bovine slinging, whatever the hell he said? Oh, right over there. All right. So, you know, later on, we were thinking and maybe talking about who here has the coolest gig. So maybe we can cut

to the chase. And do you want to ask him about his gig? Yeah, I'd like to know. Come on up. I obviously need to know. Come on up. We got a microphone here for a guest. Bovine semen

slinging Jesus. Give him a round of applause. Look at him. Oh, he's got the whole, I'm still... Put the headphones on. Here, back up a little bit before you put you. You've got the fresh off the form look. Oh, he's got the cowboy boots.

The tucked in t-shirt. Those are worked-in. That's a worked-in outfit right there. The boot-cut jeans. Let me see your hands. Are your hands calloused? Yeah. All right.

Your right hand is especially calloused, I'm sure. They all are. So without using any foul language, you're getting us in any trouble. What's your name, you know, if you want to give us your real name. Get right up on that mic. Basically kiss it. Yep.

Real name is Adam. Hi, Adam. The K. Right on. Yeah. No, I breed cows artificially for a living, naturally for a hobby. But then that's actually what I was doing this morning on my way over. You will.

And also a break check, ultrasound. I do it all. Oh, wow. Cool. Yeah. And actually, my dad, he used to collect semen from bulls. So we grew up talking about family. business. Yeah, ejaculation, artificial vaginas. So you've been up there like shoulder deep.

Yeah. So you had more than one sex talk as a kid. Actually, funny thing, we never had the sex talk. But I kind of put two and two together. You got it worked a little bit the same way. That's how you make your... We're all mammals. That's how you make your living, huh? I do. How old of a character are you? 31. You look awful young. Yeah, you look a lot younger than that. When you love what you do and do what you love, you stay young. And you plan on carrying on the family business. Yeah.

Was there a point to like a career day in middle school or something where you announce this to the crowd, to the class, what you wanted to do with your life? Usually don't announce what you do and you do what I do. Okay. That's very interesting. I bet you go through a lot of frigging hand soap at your house. Not enough.

Not enough. Every time I'm eating a sandwich, the middle of the day. You think about it. You think about it. I probably got the strongest immune system out of anybody. That's natural. COVID wasn't even a problem. No, COVID couldn't touch you.

We appreciate you coming. That's a very interesting kid. You may. You live in a very small town around here. Where are you from? Originally, I'm actually from Wisconsin. I don't own up to that anymore. But I live up in Stearns County up in Freeport.

Oh, no kidding. So you're a Minnesota. I kind of am now. And I'm proud of it. Yeah, you should be. You should be. Because we're the better class of people. No, thanks for the morning show.

I love listening every morning on the barn. We appreciate it. One last question, though, for you. How does that come up on like a first date? You know, so what do you do for a living? Yeah. Comes up naturally, I guess. I mean, eventually you get around to it.

You're about to get her in bed. You're like, hey, this is what I do for a living. I'm going to take a guess, Adam, that traditionally, well, maybe traditionally isn't the word, but artificially is. Artificial. You date a lot of. girls who are also rural. 10,000 a year, but yeah.

I mean, so it's not like you're going to downtown Minneapolis. I'm guessing that have you had some farm girl girlfriends? No, just one, and I married her. Oh, you did. Oh, congratulations. So she probably wasn't shocked in hearing that you're a married man. Is she here?

Well, no. But, and I forgot the ring because you don't wear a ring in my business. Honey, I lost the ring. ring. The last time I wore a ring, it's in a pastor and Mora. Are you committed to that, you? I am not. No. Why?

Are you on my room number? No. Yeah, I kind of seem like a love connection was kind of odd to you ask that. No, no, no, no, no, no. I was just saying, like, that's interesting how you left your ring somewhere, the night you go away for a night. But never mind. You're in the chain.

She's always suspicious of all of us. Yeah, she thinks that we're all cheating bastards. We're kind of controlling like that. We're trying to talk about semen here, Ash. Yeah. Sorry. All right, let's get back. Let's get back to it. You don't wear a wedding ring in your business, I bet not.

This is kind of the hand that does all the magic. Yeah, I bet like even a silicone one wouldn't change anything. You're still getting stuff in there. Yeah. Glove sometimes tears. Oh, I bet. But if you bring my wife, she actually bred hogs for a living. And so I bred cows.

She bred sows. We're the mother effers of the block. Thank you, guys. Nice to meet you. Thank you. You know it's bovine slinging something or another Jesus. That was awesome. That's such a typical country boy right there.

That's really interesting. You think you could cut it? If he hired you at it, Covey? I think I'd be pretty good at it. I bet you might fall all the way in. Just all of you would just fall all over. Where'd Josh go? No, I'm afraid I'd fall in love.

You know, I'd want to have that type of connection as well. I was in a really small town in Wisconsin a number of years ago, and I saw this old boy just smoking cigarettes out on the front porch of a roadhouse, and I walked up there a dude, and I said, what do you guys do for fun in this town? And he said, we hunt and we f. and I said, well, what are you to hunt? And he said something to F.

All right, back to the comment box. This is an interesting question. I'm not sure what a listener is looking for here. It says, can you do a deep thinking with Danil? Now, years ago on this program, I used to do the deep thinking with Jesse Ventura a bit. But that's not the request. The request is with Danil. So where is this person?

Are you supposed to pretend to be Dana? Yeah, you want me to pretend to be Dana? What's happening? Where are you? Or he wants Dana? Holler it out as loud as you can. Oh, he wants Dana to do one. Oh, God.

Do the voice. I did. All right, I'm not following this. I'm not following it. I'm sorry. But, yeah, years ago, we used to do that bit. When I do Jesse now, it just kills me. It's not good for your chest.

It's going to blow a ring loose right across the room. I can't. It's been years. But, I mean, yeah, I mean, years ago, I used to do the body. Yeah, that was a thing. If I go any further than that, I'm going to drop dead right here on the year. Yeah, I don't want that. I'm excited for this one.

Here's a listener who says, I want Josh to crumple up a piece of paper and throw it to me so I can see you in action throw like a girl. All right, Josh, let's do it. That's an insult to women, first and foremost. Yes, it is. Do we have a piece of paper? Oh, I got lots of pieces of it.

Take this paper. Take the paper he wrote it on. Well, no, it's got to be bigger than that. It's got to be big, yeah. Well, let's see here. Got to give him a fighter's chance. You can use this one. We give Josh a lot of hell on the program because he doesn't know how to throw anything. When he throws a football,

It turns end over end. It's the most horrific thing you've ever seen. You can stand up if you want to be a follow-through. If you want to follow through, yeah, stand up. I'll throw it. We'll see who the bitch is here. That's beautiful. So next time we throw a football, Josh, just envision it's a piece of paper.

Try to get it in my mouth. Nice toss. Nice work, Josh. Thank you. That was really good, Josh. The follow-through was beautiful. Were you nervous? I'm not as mobile.

You're taller than him, though. You know what? I think he's still taller than me. And then this last, at least from the first batch of comments from the comment box, wants quite a bit out of us here. He says he is a new Jesus in the crowd, so a new listener apparently is what he means by that. Oh, Rapparound Jesus, is the name. Rapparound. Yeah, there he is.

Hey, there he is. Yeah. You look like a frigging wraparound. I'll tell you that right now. He wants to know some things from us, like our first time at a bar, our first time drinking alcohol. Do I have this so far correctly, wrap around Jesus?

And our first time with a woman. Ashley, you go first on that one. Yeah, let's hear. I want it. No, that's, this station and their listeners don't deserve to ever hear that story. But I will tell you, my first time drinking alcohol because that one's fine.

Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, I mean, we got to take a break here shortly, but we can probably squeeze in a little bit of this. First time drinking alcohol? Yeah, it was Halloween, so it was my birthday, and I was out with my boyfriend at the time and his, sorry, excuse me, and his best friend who I was in love with. Well, wait a minute, now, wait a minute. This is first time drinking alcohol? Yeah, it's my first time ever ever. And how old were you in this story?

Sixth grade. Okay. Oh, my gosh. Sorry, Josh. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And you were like, what you went walking somewhere on bicycles or something? Yeah, so we were like at a park. And we had a bottle of UV blue.

Oh, God. UV blue. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. I just had flashbacks. And, okay, I'm such a terrible person, but I was a child. So, like, it's whatever. I would, me and his friend, like, kept sneaking into the Porter Potty to, like, drink alcohol with each other.

And then we just would, like, sneak in there and make out. But the whole point of the story is that I drink too much of the UV blue And then threw up everywhere in that porter potty And then threw up everywhere the next day And I do not drink that alcohol no more Nobody above the age of 19 should be drinking UV blue Yes I do think though that that's everybody That starts drinking they need to drink that for the first time

That are like Malibu rum Is anyone drinking UV blue right now as we speak here? No, no. What's another one, Dana? Yeah, like, what's the signature? Like, you have to start with that. And if you don't, you suck. First time drinking alcohol for me was New Year's Eve, 1980.

So I was about 10 or 11 years old when my dad and his best buddy, the dirty beauty. They put a, they put a foster's legger oil can in front of me and my twin brother and the dirty beauty's son. And they said, let's see if you boys can knock this son bitch down. That's awesome. I mean, we were 10, maybe 9 or 10, yeah. That's incredible. And I remember, I still remember the taste of it. I just couldn't not believe how disgusting it was.

And I'm looking at my dad and the dirty beauty going, Jesus, you guys do this all day? How do you do this? But you figured it out. Yeah. That's so old school, dude. That's awesome. They were hardcore of those boys.

Yeah. They wanted to see if we could cut it, you know. So that was my first beer. They gave you your first pack of cigarettes after that the next day. I didn't start smoking until I was 14. So it took a minute. Yeah. And then my lung collapsed.

But anyway, do we have time? Anyone have one more quick alcohol, first time alcohol story before we take a break ski? Because there's more to come. He wants to know about our first time at a bar. The first time you drank alcohol. First time with a woman. Didn't you get in trouble? It was like right before your 21st birthday?

Yeah, first time I drank was 10 days before my 21st birthday. And we were, uh... It's so wholesome. We were out of town and my friend, it was his birthday. So it's his power hour, right? We was there at midnight. He was 21 officially. And it's the first time I ever drank.

And the bartender was messing with us because he knew we hadn't drank before. So you know what a cement mixer is? Oh, no. That's not good for you telling him. Yeah. Absolute garbage. And he's like, yeah, you drink this and you swish it around. And I thought, okay, I'm in a bar.

And I'm going to do what the bartender says. Who would know better than the bartender? It was disgusting. But of course, I wanted to pretend like I liked it. Oh, drink. It's great. But then some undercover cops came up to us. surrounded our table and I'm like, great, the first time I ever drink, I'm going to get a minor.

I've waited 10 days before my birthday, but luckily they went after my buddy because he looked like he was 13 who was actually turned 21 that day. So, yeah, the first time I ever drank, almost got a minor after trying to be responsible for all those years. That is really rare for them to only like target one kid too. Like that was, that's a real good stroke of luck. I want to go back to a world where things were so normal. and boring that the undercover cops were spending their time at a bar

pension kids who were not 21 years. You know what I mean? Yeah, those were the days. Jesus, Paul. I had somebody to tell me yesterday that I looked like I was born in 2003. And I was like, what does that even mean? I don't, how old am I? That's not very oddly specific.

It's like what? It's like, do I look like a 12 year old? And then I had to do the math and think, oh, wait, no, that means. Yeah, you're 22 or whatever. Yeah. I give my, you know, your story, Josh, is similar to. I give my sister a lot of credit for this one. So she got pinched at a house party

the night before her 21st birthday. Stupid. You know, cops were running around the house given everybody who wasn't 21 a minor consumption. You know, she's 12 hours away from being 21. So the cop writes my sister a ticket, and then he wants to do the whole, you know, dad routine, and he's sitting down, he's talking to her about underage.

And the cop says to my sister, why, when you're only 12 hours of being away from being 21. Why did you decide to to drink? And my sister said, because the party was tonight. She's so badass for that. That's good logic. Well, hey, you beautiful podcast, people. Dana here, and I'll just cut right to the chase and tell you

about standard heating and air conditioning, because I know you're looking forward to the show. Winter is coming. The time to get your furnace wrenched on is now before the thing craps out and the boys below the belt shrivel up into pebbles because your house is so cold. Go to standardheating.com today and Boke that tune-up. Mention 93X and save a big double nickel.

Yeah, $55 off the price of those commenters would have to pay. All right. Enjoy the show, you beautiful people. I'm serious. You look great. Whatever you're doing, it's working. Keep it up. Years of hard work, and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees.

Maybe your joints. You need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com.

That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Football is in full swing and you're sure everyone's wrong. Prove it on Polly Market. Combine multiple football predictions into a single trade with polymarket combos. Now live in the app. Download the Polly Market app. New customers use promo code WW Football deposit $10 and get $25 to trade instantly.

18 plus. See Polly Markets terms of service for more information about restrictions and eligibility. The Polymarket app is an independent affiliate of Polymarket U.S. and not CFTC regulated. Trading always involves risks. Complete loss can occur. The $25 offer is issued as non-withdrawal trading credit for use on the platform. Not available in all jurisdictions. Half-assed morning show. It's not just the swearing. Did one of you fornicate? Fornicate? Look, I've boned a lot of chicks in my time, sure. But as far as I can recall, I've never fornicated anybody.

93X. All right, I'll say it again. I can't get enough of this enormous proud we have here at St. Croix Casino Turtle Lake. You are great. Just the biggest, craziest, Stefan. Right here, broadcasting live from the sports book. We are the 93X Halfass Morning Show, broadcasting live from the sports book at St. Croix Casino Turtle Lake. You want to know why, Covey?

Why is that? It's our fifth annual border bash. The Border F-Me run inside. Is there really our fifth time being here? I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Everyone having a decent enough time. He getting enough to drink?

I tried a sip of an alcoholic beverage. What alcoholic beverage was it? It was a wine and it was gross. A wine. Well, it was wine, so that makes sense. Trash. Don't mix wine with Diet Mountain Dew. It's pretty sick.

This doesn't look like a wine drinking crowd. Did you take a sip of wine and then did you use Diet Mountain Dew as a chaser? I was drinking the Diet Mountain Dew and the alcoholic that had the wine said, Would you like a sip of wine? And I thought, why not? And it's disgusting with Mountain Dew. Was the alcoholic your daughter? That's right.

Because I know she likes wine. That's right. Yeah, I don't know about that. How dare she poison you? Such an enabler. Yes, she is. Never been my game of the wine ski. Church wine's good.

Is that right? I take that. Wine is kind of, I get a lot of crap for it because I don't think that you should, I think you should drink beverages cold unless it's like hot cocoa. or coffee. Sure. So somebody's like, hey, do you want some red wine? And I'm like, oh, yeah, absolutely.

And then it's room temperature and it's terrible. I've never really... I put ice in my wine and I guess that's a huge no-no in the wine world. Well, you know what? Everybody's got their thing. So here we go. Getting her done here at St. Croixas, No, Turtle Lake. You know what we do love around this morning show today and afternoon show,

but normally a morning show? Something that we do love. is a good nickname. We actually just covered this not that long ago. Now, I know a lot of you have your Jesus and Sheez's names. And, I mean, earlier we met the bovine seaman king of Wisconsin or whatever. I was just curious. I mean, outside of the Sheez's and Jesus names, anyone out there got a really good nickname

from when they were a kid that they'd like to tell us about live on the radio? If you do, come on up. If you don't, that's fine. But I'm always looking to learn a new hilarious nickname. So if it comes to mind for anybody, we got the live mic, you can tell us. And, of course, we'd love to hear the origin story as well, if, in fact, any of these have a good one. You were saying?

We don't talk enough about how I got the nickname Smashley. It wasn't from being on the radio here. No, no. Something you gained as a kid, right? Yeah, it was middle school. I was just bopping around being. Typical little Ashley, and there is this gentleman. His name is Damari.

We called him Debo. He said that my name should be Smash at first. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I don't, okay, I guess that sounds cool. Yeah, like Ash. Smash, that makes sense. And then he was like, yeah, like Smashley, that's great. And I thought, oh, that's such a good nickname.

That's adorable. And then I found out that it meant that I was smashable. Oh, sure. Yeah, like that was effable. I want to be smashable. Smashua. Not many people get that in sixth grade. No.

And I wasn't doing anything. Sixth grade? No, no, Josh, I wasn't, I was being a very good girl in sixth grade. I'll bet. Yes, I was not doing anything like that. Wait, really? You just told us a story about in sixth grade drinking UV blue and a biff and making out with your boyfriend's best friend. I was making out, but I wasn't doing anything.

I was like super, I was actually super prude about that. A lot of people wouldn't believe it, but when I meant. My high school boyfriend, I made him wait like eight months. We had to be together for eight months until anything happened. I was weird. I'll tell you what. Yeah, so you got the name Smash because the dude in your grade school thought... In sixth grade, yep.

He thought you'd be perfect to throw into the tall grass. So funny. So weird. Thanks, Debo. What was this now? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You were talking about, okay.

You were nicknamed smash because you were such a missile back in grade school from our comment box. All morning long, we've had the half-ass morning show comment box up here on our broadcast table. And appreciate everyone throwing in whatever it's on their mind. There have been some questions. There have been some comments, this and that. Here's a guy who dropped this into our comment box. It says, I'm looking to get laid. Oh, well, no, sorry, his nickname is looking to get laid Jesus.

Oh. So this isn't a, it's not just, it's not just today he's looking to get laid. This is a lifelong mission. Where are you at? Where's looking to get laid, Jesus? I don't know if I'd raise my hand if I was looking at it. Maybe he's getting laid. At any rate, looking to get laid Jesus said,

Ashley, are you currently thinking about me? Currently right now, yes. That's an interesting nickname. Ah, man. All right. You want to play the little sex game now? Yeah, let's do it. I'm really excited.

I've got some good ones here for us. And if you just tuned in, don't get the wrong idea. On her way to Wisconsin, Ashley, or as we just covered, Smash, stopped by a sex shop slash sporting goods shop. Tobacco store. You could buy bait there. Delicatessen. You stop by a sex shop and you got.

Yes, sir. What is it you have in your hands? I got some goodies. One of the great goodies I found is a game called, Who is the Biggest Pervert? Who's the biggest pervert? Hey, when I saw that, I immediately thought of me and Nick. Well, I mean, I guess out of the four of us,

you and I probably have the most promiscuous track record. Yeah, it's not great. So we thought we would play against each other, as they say in Canada, against each other. And I think the original idea was she's going to read this sexual scenario. Or maybe I should hand him to Josh. Let Cubby read them. We don't need you knowing, you know, you might set it up and then you're going to make me look like the biggest

friggin' pervert by reading. That was my goal. Yeah. So the gimmick is Josh will read these sexual scenarios and if you and I have been involved in such things, we will drink. Is that the gimmick? Now, I'm not a 25-year-old anymore. I'm not going to sit up here and bomb myself with alcohol until I, you know, wet my pants in front of you people. So I can't promise you that I'm going.

What we could do. I didn't realize we had the crowd that wants to see a 55-year-old man wet his pants on the state. That's the kind of animals we're dealing with. What we could do is when Josh asks the question, the audience, if they have also participated in, then we cheer really loud, innoxiously loud and annoying. Yes, we don't have to necessarily drink, but if we've gotten involved in these scenarios, we've, will raise our beer to the crowd. And then if the crowd also has this type of life experience in their

past, they can scream out. This isn't a shy crowd, is it? Doesn't seem to be. It's a little different, actually. I've noticed then the morning. I mean, obviously when we broadcasted here before at 5.30 in the morning, they can be a little subdued. This crowd is shouting

out a little more. Like the guy earlier... We can see all of their eyes. The guy earlier hollered queef or fart out of nowhere. I don't know. They have a hard time. one go. Let's see how let's see how we bear here, Covey. All right, here we go. All right. And the name of the game again is

who's the biggest pervert? Who's the biggest pervert? I bet there's some perverts in it. Somebody already thinks they are. He's king pervert over there. Have you said, I love you just to get late? Oh yeah. Yeah, baby. I love you too. I don't think so.

No. Did you raise your glass, Ashley? I don't think I have, no. No. You don't have to tell men you love them. Oh, we got to sleep with them. That's true. Yeah, yeah. That was more for the dudes that question. Cubby, all women have to do is what?

Just ask. Just ask. Just ask. So a few people did raise their glass. So a few of you said, I love you just to tear one loose. That's cold blood. Are any of you raised your glass? Are you currently married to the person?

Oh, okay. Oh, that'd be a happy, indeed. You know, I just want to get late at first, but then I said, yeah, You are actually marriage material. So again, holler out if the person you said I love you two, just to get a piece of ass, are you married to them? Okay, yes. That's awesome.

We got one. Those two right there. One great love story. So how did you guys meet mom and dad? Well, I pretended to love her so I could see you're naked. I was in a cold streak and, you know, it was desperate. No, I never went that route. No, I never did.

I love you is not the easiest thing for me to say. You can't back out of that. As you say it, it's out there. Have you ever purposefully walked in on a couple having sex? How do you just hear something and go, I got to walk in there? These are pretty cool questions. Yeah, because it brings me back to very specific scenarios. I guess yes.

On purpose. At a house party? Because you want to be banging so you want to open the door. So we open the door to be funny. Does that count? Does it count? I don't know. I think it counts.

I say it counts. You walked in on a couple, knowing that they're in the throes of passion just to, like, get a peek or whatever. Yeah, I did, and I got grounded. Oh, no. Yeah. My parents were furious. Just wanted to see. You know, back to the, if you don't mind going back to the comment box here.

Now that Josh Mention is walking in on his folks getting it on. And you know, we know it's in the official record books. They did it three times. Three times. Yeah. because there's you, your brother, and your sister. That's right. Only three times.

That's funny. I wasn't good enough. They kept going until they're the oldest. While we're on the subject, here's a listener who threw this question into the comment box. How did the jokes about Josh's mom get started? That's a good question. I don't know.

I mean, I think I had said how much I love your mom jokes. And then people started going after my mom. I think that's kind of how it was. It was while I was here. I don't even remember the birth of it. I thought somebody texted in a good one and it got me real good. And that it just kind of went to me. You've been a wonderful sport about it over the years.

Yeah, on air. You know who else has my mom? Yeah, because she listens every morning. Off air is a different story. Josh usually crumbles into a ball of depression and sadness. That's not related. It's just something that's a part of me. It certainly has been a fun side bit to our program over the years.

Okay. The next question in who's the bigger person? All right, this is just to you, Nick. Go ahead. I love you, Josh. How bad is it? Have you ever used a vibrator? Used a vibrator.

Why is it only to Nick, Josh? Because I don't want to know your answer. Well, Josh, plug your ears. Yes times like 100. What? Yeah, I guess we could both answer, yes. Really? But it's not what you think.

I mean You were just When the gal is cuffed like so You know someone's got to run that damn thing Right That's a good man That's a good man right there I mean

I could have passed it over To one of the other seven or eight guys That were in the room But I said I want to drive this some bitch Cheers to you Yeah So there you go I raised my glass

Oh you know what Have people checked in Anybody here use a vibrator No Suddenly this is the shyest crowd Wow That is so not true I know that one right there

as used a vibrator. It's rude to point. That lady over there looks like a masturbator to me. Have you ever fantasized about a teacher or a boss? Oh, of course. Like, imagine if your boss is wearing like a sexy flannel

shirt. I'm not raising my drink. A teacher, yes. You have? Yes. I mentioned this not that long ago, though. Okay, as people are raising their drinks to teachers? teachers. Teachers, okay. And great for you. We had this conversation not that long ago. I just

had bad luck. There was never really that female teacher in my neighborhood from K all the way through 12 and I stuck around even a couple more 12s. There was never that teacher. We only had one and he was the math teacher and he was like the

hadi haiti boobolati of the whole entire school. And then the boss? Absolutely not. The boss, no. Oh no. Not even the current one? No. I know you guys like to play around a little bit. I got a thing for him. I know you do. Have you ever gotten aroused during a medical examination?

Yes, yes. I'm raising my glass. I had to. What do you mean you had to? I don't think that counts. I don't think that counts. They gave you a shot. Yeah, that was the point of the appointment. Tell us that story again. I've never have, no.

I have, but go ahead. They were checking things out, and they had to give me a shot to, you know, caused that to happen. It did. So in order to get the full glance of your unit, they needed it to blow up. Yeah. And they gave you a shot.

How long did it take? Is it like instantaneous? Was it bigger than usual? You cut out how long what? Did it take to get hard? Oh, how long did it take? Yeah. Oh, I can get the quick.

That, um, was it a little frightening? I mean, oh, it was very unnerving. I'm sorry. I don't know why I've never asked this before. Was it bigger than? unusual? Yeah. Did the shot produce things that you couldn't do on your own?

Boy, good question. I don't know. I was so nervous. I'm not sure. You didn't take pictures? I don't know. Probably like what. What's it?

No, no, no. They make you wait. Wheelbarreled them out of there. They don't do the talk. It's kind of like, you know, when you're drugged up and you got to wait, they make you wait. Oh, man. Somebody here to drive you. I mean, some of the details are a little much, but I'll share them with you when we're off the air.

Yeah, I'm actually really curious. There's a whole process to this thing. So a needle went into the damn thing? A needle went into the penis. Yeah. It's bigger. It's intimidating. When the needle is bigger.

Much bigger. I had the... Bigger. Any of the rest of you boys ever had a nut cancer scare or maybe possibly had the legit thing? Okay, we got a couple of hands big. Do you ever have the bultrasound? No. They scanned you down there?

Yeah, see, I had the full-blown four-alarm bultrasound. Me too. Because they thought I might have had mad cancer. In the end, it was something much less serious. But yeah, they put you in this frigging dark room and they get you naked. It's to keep you nice and calm. Well, no, I understand that part of it. I mean, yeah, they're not going to.

Get the lights nice down low. Put me on a stage and put some spotlight on. Turn on some Marvin Gay. Kind of get set the mood. They put me in this dark room and it's nice and warm in there. and then they put this warm jelly down on your friggin' unit. Yeah. And then the gal who was in charge of running that laser all over my special purpose,

she wasn't the worst thing I ever saw in my life. It would have been rude not to get a boner. I didn't go the full bug, but there was some... It's so funny hearing you talk about this bulturesound. Like, it's every other ultrasound any woman has ever had in their life. Lights down low, nice warm gel. It's beautiful. It really was.

You know what the best part? They throw a towel at you at the end. Clean yourself up, you sick, perfect. No, they literally say that. They're like, clean yourself up. Yeah, they did that to us. Wipe the gel off your belly. You whore.

Yeah. I think we probably got to take a break here shortly, but just to wrap up that story of my very romantic, you know, penthouse letter bultrasound, the worst part about it, Josh, was, so, yeah, I had like this lump in my bagola. That was why I was there. that they needed to take a close look at it with that laser to make sure it was this or that.

And in the week leading up to that appointment, I could find that thing with a blindfold on. I'm constantly reaching down into my drawers and going, yeah, there it is, there it is. Because, of course, I was hoping it would go away. There's the bump. There it is. There it is. I could do it. So at one point or another, this college gal is rubbing me down. And she says, where is that damn thing again?

the lump, and then I couldn't find it. Yeah, because you're stressed. So now I got one leg up on the table, like I'm doing a frigging photo shoot for a porn mag. You're like, do you have a magnifying glass? I got one foot up here, other foot on the ground, and I got both hands down there digging after it. It was just the most repulsive thing I'm sure the woman had seen all day long. Maybe if I cough twice. And then she's like, oh, there it is.

And I got what, just my frigging luck, I lost the damn thing. Ask us one more. One more. Who's the part? Then we got to. Okay. It's Ashley and I, and we're raising our drinks. Because we're perverts.

Yeah, I'm going blind here. Have you ever spied on a friend who was changing clothes? No. No, God, no. Not my pals. Maybe a neighbor gal. A neighbor lady. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, I've taken, like, glances. Does that count? I don't know. I didn't make the game. I'm assuming, yeah, if you took a look because you wanted to get a peek, that counts. I was like, what you got going on, girl? Those are fun questions.

Yeah, no, I never. There's a lot of good ones. I never wanted to see what Big Al did when he was changing his, you know, no, that's not my problem. You guys are sick perverts. There's no question about that, Covey. I don't know how you can live with us and work with us day and day out. Okay, you're a wonderful crowd. You know that, right?

Yeah, you're the best. Thank you. I'll be damned. We're back. We're back live here. And I'll tell you what, we've got this ravenous live crowd. They can't hear us. They can't hear us.

We're live from St. Croix Casino, Torto Lake for the fifth annual Border Bash, the half-ass morning show of Border Bash. Now that they can hear me, I mentioned earlier that we have this ravenous live crowd. Look at you. They're getting tired. Just friggin' look at you. No, we're happy to be back. We want to thank St. Croix Casino again for having us out.

I don't know if any St. Croix Casino people are here right now, but we thank them very much. give them a round of applause if you don't mind everybody. Very good host. Absolutely. Very good host. And also, how about something for our engineer over here, Holden, everybody. Holden. Not as good of a host, but a very good engineer. Holden's incredible. He mentioned earlier the afternoon show is more his style.

He enjoyed setting up today at noon way more than he did at 3 o'clock in the morning over the last few years. So we always appreciate the work that Holden puts in. in getting us ready to roll for any live broadcast, but specifically out here at St. Croixir, we're a long ways from home, so it's a little more of a difficult task. So thank you to Holden. Yeah, thank you, Holden.

Bye God, what else is going on around here, Josh? Oh, some birthday shoutouts and whatnot have been dropped into our comment box, so birthdays and other special occasions. This here says cheese-homper Jesus. Go ahead and raise your hand. If you are, there he is. over there. Cheese Humper Jesus

left his telephone number here. Oh, that ought to be useful for us a little bit later on this evening. Right there in the bathroom stall. Cheese Humper Jesus left us a note that says he wants to wish his wife, Tori, a happy two-year wedding anniversary this weekend. This weekend.

Well, congratulations? Is that Tori right next to you? I would hope so. HUBBUK him up. Hook him up with a round of applause. How about a birthday shout out to someone who what do they say here birthday shout out to

Randy Shaver is on my free list Jesus or Jesus Randy Shaver is on your free list Oh like that The Hall Pass, yeah. Oh, the Hall Pass thing. It's your birthday today, young lady.

Happy birthday. And really if anyone you wanted to tell us about, Randy Shaver's the guy you want to pin if you get the opportunity? Jesus. She said he's one of them. That's the only one he got permission. Just delete him. Trust us. It better be a long list

if you include shaver on it. There ain't a damn thing he could do for you. Not a damn thing. But thank you for coming and happy birthday. Oh, also, wait a minute, is just the same person? No, that's the, I just read that one. Okay. Happy

anniversary to bait my own hook. And that is from okay, no, this is one person. That's all. That's all one person. Some of you people, your handwriting is terrible, but then again, I didn't get much of an education. Happy anniversary to bait my own hook, take

my own fish, she's, okay? Wherever she is. Is that you? Happy anniversary. Where's the lucky some bitch that, yeah. Where is he? Hey. Oh, he's gone. No, he walked out of here. Loser. What an anniversary.

Now, earlier on, there was a listener who threw a comment in the comment box. He had all kinds of questions for us. He wanted to know about our first sexual experience. We really didn't get to that. He wanted to know about first time drinking alcohol. We kind of shared those stories. Do you want to hear one of our listeners who's here today?

Do you want to hear their story of their very first sexual encounter? I'd like to. Yes or no? You want to hear about it? It's filthy stuff. Trust me. You're going to like it. So there was one listener who stepped up and wrote us all about it.

Where is it? Oh, here it is. This was dropped into our comment box. He says, my first time with a girl was three years ago. Yeah, okay. You're old enough to drink here at the bar? Your first time with a... My first time with a girl was three years ago. We were on our first date.

That's kind of scandalous right there. Yeah, no kidding. Got it on on the first date. You boys know all about that. I'm just joking around. They didn't even hear. Those guys get action, is what I was trying to say. Okay.

We went to the Minnesota Zoo. Oh. Awesome. I wouldn't expect to get any ass if I took a girl to the Minnesota Zoo. Oh, you're getting asked if you're taking a girl to the zoo. After the zoo, we went back to her parents' house. Jesus Christ. This is great.

This is good stuff. It's getting better. We got to ID this person. We went back to her parents' house to watch Golden Gopher Game, and there was very little game watching. P.S., you guys are terrific. Stay awesome. Thank you.

Oh, I know who this guy is. Grill, Master, Bloody Mary Maker, Jesus. Oh, yeah. Sitting right over here. Hey, give him a round of applause. You got laid three years ago for the very first time. Nice work on that. What's that?

Come on. It's in the mic. What? He's got more to tell us? He said he's got something else. Everyone, it's again grill, master, bloody, merry maker, Jesus. So you got it on

for the first time three years ago, huh? Yep. Oh, yeah. How old for a guy are you? I'm 30. You're 30, okay. All right. There was more you wanted to tell us about this?

So for the context of being back at her parents' house, her parents were not home because her brother was playing football at UNC. and they were renting an Airbnb down there, so she had the entire house to herself. All right. So after we went to the zoo,

at first we were going to go to, like, Cowboy Jackson, Apple Valley, and go watch the game there, get some food, whatnot. First date. But instead, she's like, hey, how about we go back to my house and watch the game there? I'm like, okay, I'm down for it,

because I'm down for anything. Yeah, you are. Yeah, we can tell. Well, yeah, your 27-year-old virgin, yeah, you were down for any damn thing. You'll take what you can get. So let me ask you this, Bloody Mary, whatever the hell the rest of it is. Like the rest of us, dudes, your first time, were you excellent at it? Not really.

Don't worry, you're not alone. Not everybody can be Josh. Right. I'm not embarrassed. So what else? What else is there to it? So you got it smooth on. And...

You paid her and she left. That was it. Well, the fact that it was also in Burnsville and... Oh. Burnsville? Yeah. Oh, well, that's troubling. That usually means you're going to go home with a sexually transmitted disease.

At least one. I didn't really want to piss her off because she was also a chemist. A chemist? You don't piss off a chemist. That's a rule number one. You're afraid of being. poisoned? What do you mean? She would poison your...

She'd probably... She'd put some anthrax in your juice box or something. So, um, did you continue to see this lady after you defiled her? We saw each other for like four months, then we broke up for two, then we tried again. And since then, you've been on the loose just pumping back and forth like it's prom night, I bet, right?

Nope. Oh. Oh, no. Was it your... The more of like a she realized, like, oh, well, that was something that happened. and then tried to move on with her life? Look at this guy. He don't know the answer to that question. That was deep.

He's like, you know, I got a boner. She left. And then we went boom, boom, and then I go home. I had a question now and I lost it. So, oh, oh, so was this your first and your last sexual? No. What was the one in between? like she she was the one in between the three serious relationships I've been in

okay so you've had some you're a very experienced lover now I wouldn't go that far oh come on sell yourself a little bit how do you like your chances of taking something back to the hotel later right now as we speak well that's not going to happen because I don't have a hotel room oh well no that's why you need to find somebody to go back to their room It's called banging for roof. Do you have a van or something? I've got a pickup truck. So do I.

What do you got? You got a pickup with a sleeping bag in the back? You're going to let him in your pickup truck. No. Well, tell you what, I think the world is better off if you just masturbate. Wear condoms. Oh. That's always a guarantee.

I never go anywhere without protection. Good for you. Smart man. A lot of applause. It was a great story. He had sex. Yeah. Thanks for sharing.

No matter where he goes, he's always one of the scariest guys in the room. That's Grill Master Bloody Maker Mary Joe. I can never get it right. Grill Master Bloody Mary Maker Jesus. And then another question that was asked to us, we didn't get around to this, our first time at a bar. Dana, Dana, your first time at a bar. Zorba's in Brainerd.

Cross Lake Zorbas. You know, I was going to ask, do we count up north where the rules were always looser back in the day? Well, no, that was the first time I was 21. Oh, yeah. Oh, so you never got into. a bar before that. Okay. I had a fake idea, but I just used it to get booed for me and my friends, because why am I

going to go to the bar? I won't know anyone there. You know, that sort of vibe. Yeah, so Zorba's where? Oh, Cross Lake. Oh, beautiful. I love it. Zorbas. And I was a big city at that night too, because we were first just going to stop and have one, and then go to my buddy's cabin. But then we started

doing some serious drinking, and I said to the, I go to the guy, say, hey, if I leave my car in the parking lot, will it be here in the morning? Like, was it going to get towed. And he goes, yeah, unless someone steals it. Because do you think we got a tow company up here? Yeah. Zorba's.

I've still asked, though. You never know. What was your first time at a bar, Smashley? First time in a bar. Gosh, that's just been so many times that are even trying to figure it out. I was 14. I guess legally, you know, on my 21st birthday, I went to, actually I went to Updown in Minneapolis.

Oh, heck yeah. Dana knows. Yeah, like a little arcade situation because, I don't know, I ran out of ideas. What am I supposed to do for my 21st birthday? I've done it at all. So, yeah, we showed up. We did some one of those cherry bombs, and they tasted nothing like cherry bombs. They were like straight vodka. It was terrible. You mean they tasted nothing like cherries? Yeah. So we just like moved on and I was in bed by 930. If we're not counting, if we're not counting little road houses up north, because as some of you

know. Yeah, because gosh, especially in the, in the mid to late 80s in northern Minnesota, they did not care. No, not at all. They needed money,

and they would, if they didn't give a rat's ass, if you had five bucks in your pocket, you could drink there. My dad probably has a better story about the first time I was in a bar than I do. What do you mean?

Like, he probably remembers the first time I was in a bar, but I'd have no recollection of that moment. So there were a lot of little road houses and resorts up at my dad's fishing shack that would serve us underage because they had to.

They wanted to make some dough. As far as the first bar I was in legally, I mean, it probably was the wise adelaide. Yeah, we had some adventures up there as young kids because, I mean, it was the Wild Wild West back then. We saw some things and we experienced some things. And then the first time I drank at a bar in Minneapolis, I was also underage.

And there was the great story about my buddy shouting at me. So we're trying to be as subtle as possible. We're underage. Now we're in Minneapolis. Now it's the real deal. At least that's the way we thought back then. We get caught in the middle of nowhere in frigging, you know, Tower Minnesota, who gives a rat's ass. But, you know, we're in Minneapolis. We knew if we effed around, we didn't want to go to jail in Minneapolis. So we're trying to be subtle and trying to be, to blend in. And it's busier than hell. It's louder than hell. And my buddy across the bar is screaming. screaming at me, screaming at me.

And I'm like, I can't, what, what are you saying? What's, he keeps screaming. Wouldn't you know it? Right when the music died down, my buddy shouts at me from across the bar. This is incredible. We got to get fake IDs. And I'm saying, shut your friggin yapper. They're going to, they didn't.

Josh, first time at a bar. Same thing as I told you the last time. Same as the last bar. That was the first time I was ever at a bar. First time I almost got a minor. Oh, people want to. to know, though, Josh, when was the last time you were legitimately drunk? I think it was 4th of July 2005.

You can get the year down. That's crazy, dude. I'd be like maybe three weeks. Were we together? Yeah, it was a boost group. Oh. I've been close to drunk a couple times since then. But the last time I was really hammered was certainly that booze cruise.

That's the first time I was ever hung over, too, the next day. Were you pretty close when you went with your family to Boston? Yes. Like the airplane? Because you were texting me. So I thought, oh, was that? Okay, maybe I was drunk. I definitely, yeah, I was very close then.

Yeah, you were at the airport bar and you were text of man. Oh, yeah, there was like a flight delay or something. So it's been 21 years since you were legitimately hammered. Yeah. Let's get Josh Turner. Well, so at the time. I mean, here's what that tells me. You must be a pretty happy guy.

I'm doing all right. Yeah. That really is what it tells me to. You're right now. I'm doing fine. You must be a pretty happy guy. There's the rest of us, right? You come home from a piss poor day at work.

What do you do? Thur, you just get blasted. You know. Josh is like, I'm going to have some spaghetti. That'll cheer my mood up. I do love spaghetti. Another listener threw a note into our comment box and wants to know if my infamous friend Donnie is here.

I think I just saw him walk in to be totally honest. I said hi to him right outside of the bathroom. Where's Donnie? Well, where's Leonardo? Where's Donnie? Oh, there he is right there. We love you. Hey, Donnie.

What's up, Johnny? He's going to get such a big head. Nick. Everybody loves Donnie's stories. There's some bitch is sitting right there. He looks as terrible as I saw him last time around. Someone wants to know, someone wants to hear the clam chowder story. I don't tell the clam chowder.

It's not that time of year. That's a Christmas story. My grandmother bleeding into her own clam chowder is a story for the holiday season only. You folks know that. It is so weird. It's a Christmas story. How like over the years that really does cement the holiday mood for me. It's for the holiday season.

Like, I know, like, all right? Now it's Christmas, baby. Grandma was very, a very traditional Christmas lady, and she would not want me to tell the story of her bleeding into her clam chowder and then eating her blood and clam. She would only want... Pink soup, yum.

Oh, there's people that are about to barp out there. That's so gross. I'm sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable? I was there. Okay? All right. Pardon me?

The Josh P in the closet Oh yeah, I have peed in the closet Yeah, he did Better than pooping in the closet I did that too Oh no I never pooped in the closet Yeah, that's a good one

That's a good one All right, can I tell you another Wisconsin joke Before we end this break Well it's not a joke It's a true story actually This was a number of years ago I was in a small town in Wisconsin I stopped by a gas station

and there was a gas station owner there trying to increase his sales, obviously. He put a sign up in the window that said, free sex with a fill-up. He said, all you had to do is guess the correct number between 1 and 10. So I pulled in and I filled up my tank and I asked for the free sex.

And the guy said, well, pick a number from 1 to 10. and if you guess correctly, you'll get the free sex. So I said, okay, eight. And the guy said, well, you're close. The number was seven. He said, sorry, but, you know, no free sex this time. About a week later, I stopped by the same gas station, and I brought Donnie with me.

Again, here's Donnie over here, everybody. A week later, I stopped by the same gas station. I brought Donnie with and pulled in, you know, for another fill up. And again, I asked for the free sex. And the owner asked me, you know, again, do you have? the correct number between one and 10. I guess two and the owner said, well, sorry, you're close again. The number is three.

So no free sex this time. As Donnie and I were driving away, I said to Donnie, I said, I think this game is rigged. He doesn't really want to give away free sex. And Donnie said, I don't think so. My wife won here twice last week. What an unbelievable crowd you are. We'll be back in a few minutes here on the half-ass morning show. Live from St. Corkasino, Turtle Lake.

93X. Well, hey, you beautiful podcast, people. Dana here and I'll just cut right to the chase and tell you about standard heating and air conditioning because I know you're looking forward to the show. Winter is coming. The time to get your furnace wrenched on is now before the thing craps out and the boys blow the belt shrivel up into pebbles because your house is so cold.

Go to standardheating.com today and book that tune-up. Mention 93X and save a big double nickel. Yeah, 55 bucks off the price of those commenters would have to pay. All right. Enjoy the show, you beautiful people. I'm serious. You look great. Whatever you're doing, it's working. Keep it up. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer.

Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialkylaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Football is in full swing and you're sure every. Everyone's wrong. Prove it on Polymarket.

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Complete loss can occur. The $25 offer is issued as non-withdrawal trading credit for use on the platform. Not available in all jurisdictions. In the 60s, I made love. to many, many women, often outdoors in the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in would be no way of knowing. The 93x half-assed morning show. We are live still here at Godforsaken 554 p.m.

We are still live here from St. Croix Casino Turtle Lake. Welcome back to the special afternoon episode of the 93X half-ass morning show. I don't know. I don't really think I want to break this habits. I'm digging this afternoon. Really? It feels pretty good. Oh, dude, but I like hit this wall about an hour ago because I'm so used to our regular schedule that my body's still on that clock.

You know what? F your wall. Yeah. I feel so weird right now. We don't got time for your wall, Ashley? F your big stupid wall. Don't you feel like you should be napping right now? Well, it could be the 10 cores lights you've had that might add to it a little bit.

Yeah, normally this is one I take a little nappy. But, you know, I got into the Steve Weisers and I feel pretty good. This is going to be hard to go back to 4 o'clock in the morning. We keep going to strike. I'll live it up, live it up as while I have the chance. So what the hell else is going on around here? We got this great live crowd, of course. Yes, thank you again, everybody.

Thank you. If we did afternoons, Josh, I would put on like 20 pounds of just pure belly weight, you know, just because of the. Oh, you think we'll get into the drinking? I'd get back into the drinking big time. Then maybe we should stick with morning. Just inhaling personal pan pizzas from Pizza Hut. It's usually the opposite, actually.

Usually people that have to wake up really early because you don't get enough sleep. You crave like carbs and stuff that isn't good for you. I'm not sure what carbs are, but if you put a bowl of fries next door to it, I'm sure I will. We appreciate, we want to make this clear one more time. We appreciate you folks coming out here so much, really, honestly. It means a hell of a lot to it.

I mean, I wouldn't, I don't think I'd go across town for you. He really wouldn't. I know him very well. But the fact that you made the trip out here is absolutely wonderful. It means a hell of a lot to us. Huh? 200 miles. That's doing way too much.

That is the correct answer, sir. 200 miles. You came from Grand Rapids, Minnesota? That's incredible. We appreciate it. Thanks, dude. I hope we weren't the only reason you came this far. Here's a question.

I don't know if I want to know the answer to. Are you all by yourself? Oh, God. Your wife doesn't listen to this show? So yes, he's all alone. I can't hear it. Nick, the answer to that is he's alone. Thank you for coming. Yeah, thank you for go.

You know, we're not the type of crowd to want to throw a wet blanket onto any beer party, but we should acknowledge. that we learned today that an old-timer has left us. One of the true great characters in the history of sports, Mike Ditka died today. It's very sad. I mean, I'm sorry to shock anybody if you didn't know that, but yeah,

Mike Ditka has a shame. That's one of those people that growing up, I mean, I didn't really know a lot about sports. I didn't really care to follow, but I knew who Mike Dicka was. Like, that's just you know who that is. crossed over, you know. You didn't have to be the biggest sports fan of the world to know who Mike Ditka was. I mean, can you remember the last time you saw the Bears play and you didn't see somebody dressed as Mike Dick in the crowd?

Every game. It's going to happen. Now, um... Cute little Bears sweater. When I was a kid, I hated him. Oh, I hated Mike Ditka. But I hated everything that had to do with the Bears. You know, that was...

I loved him. Jim McMahon. I wanted to choke him out. Mike Ditka. You didn't like the Super Bowl shuffle? Oh, no. It made my skin crawl. I fell for all that stuff.

Obviously, Walter Payton was an exception to that rule. I mean, if you did not love and appreciate Walter Payton, you had some bad wiring. But being a Vikings fan as a kid, die-hard Vikings can. And I grew out of that. But as a kid growing up supporting the Vikings, oh, I wanted the bears to fail at every turn. But that changed as I got older.

When did he retire? From coaching? Yeah. My last memory was when he was coaching. the New Orleans Saints in the late 90, Ricky William? Yeah, it was late 90s. Late 90s?

Was it 98 or 99? In that wheelhouse, in that wheelhouse. I grew to appreciate him and, I mean, what an absolute, how many of you were Vikings fans? Make some noise if you were a Viking fan in the 80s and 90s. Yeah.

Do you remember, this is something I'll always remember about Mike Didka. Please, ma'am. The grown people are trying to have a conversation. Do you remember the game at the dome, I want to say early 90s, Jim Harbaugh was the starting quarterback for the Bears, and he throws an interception to a Viking safety at the time named Todd Scott. And Todd Scott returned the ball to the end zone for a touchdown,

and Mike Ditka absolutely blew his stack on the sideline. I mean, that was what was so fun about that guy, He was so emotional. And I'll never forget, I mean, Dittka and Jim Harbaugh are nose to nose. And Dittka's screaming in his face like Harbaugh is his friggin child. That was, those were good times. You telling me when he retired just goes to show how much of an impact he made because he retired around the same time I was born.

Like I was saying, I still know who he is. Yeah. I think you used the word character. He was one of a kind. I was really lucky to have a. a chance to drink with the man. Oh, cool. Dude, that's so cool. Where? At the Super Bowl. This is back

when my ex-wife was tight with the Favras. Man, you messed up there. So when I was married in the late 90s, my in-laws were familiar and friendly with the Favre family, so we would go

down to Mississippi and go to Brett Favre's invitational golf tournament. You've probably heard me tell the story on the air about drinking with Junior Say How and Michael Strayhan and the shenanigans that we got involved in. So at the Super Bowl in New Orleans in 97, when the Packers beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, we were sitting in a suite. And this wasn't anything of my doing.

It's just my ex-in-laws had money. And Mike Ditko, there he's on the television right there. Mike Ditka walks in and watch the game with us. And so I had a chance to sit and drink with the guy. and jawjack with him. Now I got so stinking drunk at that Super Bowl that I did not know who won until I woke up the next morning and turned on SportsCey.

That's a way to do it. But I do remember this. Just because I was young and fearless, I asked Mike Ditka, I said, because he was a hell of a player too. Was he intimidating in person? Not really. He was a bigger than average guy,

but when he walked in, he was smiling, having a good time. Seems like a teddy bear. Maybe in his element, like if I, I walked up to him when he was at work, I bet that would have been different. That would have been different. But he was all smiling and shaking everybody's hand. And I was a little bit full of beer.

And I remember I asked him about his playing days. And he was a fierce player as a play for the Dallas Cowboys. And I think the Bears also was a tight end. And I said, did you ever hit someone so hard when you were a player that they pissed themselves? Oh, good question. And he said, no. It's not that he knows of, right? But it was really fun just to be around him and, you know, and just...

Yeah, I bet that's super cool, dude. Seems like the type of guy that would, like, an old Milwaukee. Oh, dude, yeah. I bet he could drain him. Not just one. Yeah. I was going to say, a buddy of mine shared his story today. He got to drink beers with him at an airport bar one time.

With who? Mike Dickko. Oh, with Mike Dickkin. Yeah, and buddy of my, Mike Dickke said he's really nice. They were just kind of chatting about the ball game. He didn't want to bother him about football or anything. And they had a good time. And as he left, he said, hey, it's great to meet you.

I'm a lifelong Vikings fan. But I appreciate you so much. You're a genius. And he goes, I mean, run Walter Payton left, run Walter Payton, right? Run Walter Payton up the middle. It didn't take a genius, man, but I appreciate it. That's awesome. That's really cool, dude.

I mean, another old memory of him when he was coaching the Bears, and they had that rivalry with the Vikings. When the some bitch put roller blades on and rollerbladed around the Metrodome, he hated the old Metro dome. And, of course, we all knew that, The place was a joke. But, of course, we did. We did love the Metro Dome for some reasons, but we all knew it was kind of garbage for.

So, yeah, he, to antagonize the Vikings, he shows up in Minnesota. He puts on a pair of rollerblades and rollerbladed around because he called the joint the Roller Dome. You're kidding. You do that. That's so funny. He knew how to turn the screws. That's awesome. Yeah.

Oh, so any friends or family who are listening, friends or can, what's what I'm looking for. Acquaintances, family for Mike Ditka. Condolences from our radio program. 86 years old, I understand. That's a good life. 86 years. Shoot. I hope I make it that long. Not a bad freak. You got no chance. I know, I know. I know. I know. I'd give it like 70 jobs.

We're surprised you're still here, to be honest with you. You and I, you and I, after what we've done to ourselves, you know. Yeah, but see, we're going to be like those weird people where they're like, we're going to be those examples like that our kids use. future generations where they're like, oh, my kids, not your kids. Or they're going to be like, I don't know, my grandma smoked and drank every day of her life and she lived to be 92? You do hear that.

I'm going to be that grandma. Had an oxygen tank in the passenger seat for the last one. Never had one vegetable. Hey, you're not here for a long time. You might as well have a good time. You know, what's been really fun this morning is what you folks have thrown into our half-ass morning show comment box here up on the broadcast booth. there's a few more that I'd like to address before we pull the plug on this operation.

Well, here's a guy that texted in or a guy or a girl that just simply not texted in. I'm so used to saying that on the radio or on the morning show. Someone threw a little note into the box that said it's really cold in here. It is kind of cold in here. Josh, have you been to your hotel room yet? Yes. I set mine to cool at 62 degrees. Oh, that's sweet spot right there.

Well, now I have a theory. Where did you set yours? I just left it alone I figured the hotel staff knows what they're doing Oh, it's gonna be too warm Well first off you guys You know why it's so cold in here right It's the ghost of Mike Ditka

Oh He's here to yeah he's here to have some laughs with us No I mean is the is the gimmick that they keep it cold in here So we stay awake and keep gambling Is that what it is? Yeah so you drink more to stay warm And all that, yada yada They know they're doing Is that right? We'll be here

We'll be here It's like when I worked at a restaurant you didn't want to make it too inviting. You didn't want them to stay for too long. Yeah, I've heard that before too. Here is a comment that says, Happy Fourth Wedding Anniversary to Matt P. from Couch Beers Sheezes.

Congratulations. Yeah, happy anniversary. Four years is a long time. 14. Oh, 14. Did I say, I may have misspoke. Happy 14th if I misspoke. Yeah, yeah, you should give him a round of applause.

What's the matter of? That means they defeated the seventh year stretch. Seven-year itch? Seven-year-hits twice. Is that our Matt? Oh, yeah, the Matt that we work with. Oh, that makes sense. His wife is amazing.

I don't know about him, but his wife is phenomenal. Matt works at the radio station in our promotions department, and we should acknowledge Matt and Amy from our promotions department. Especially Amy. What did he got against Matt? I love Matt. I love Matt. I'm just Matt.

I'm just messing with him. It's a match anniversary. I'm kidding, Matt. You're great. I love you. Honestly, Amy and Matt are the best two we've ever had. Josh and I bet here 30 years. It's the best promotion staff we've ever had.

By far. You can't argue that. By far. And I mean, with the Hogbauer T-shirts and the half-ass morning show hats and the, I mean, they got great stuff and it's just the best we've ever had. So it's your 14th wedding anniversary. Are you going to do anything special, Matt? What do you have planned for her?

He's a professional. He works at the station. Get him on the microphone. Yeah, let's have Matt come on. At least somebody appreciates Matt, Ashley. You know how to get up right up on there, right? Hey, guys. Hey.

It says here 1019, that's October 19th. Right. Where are we right now? We're on the 9th. Oh, so 10 days from now, you will be 14 years married. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You got it out of me.

So do you have huge plans? You should, probably, right? Just some nice dinner. Like, some going, we go to like St. Genevieve, which is a great restaurant around here. We'll go to, we'll just go to something fancy and French. By the way, if you... Fancy and Fred. I love it.

You cannot go wrong. Warm pasta, good bread. Hell yeah. Yes. By the way, if you hear us on the air saying, Yeah. That's our tribute to Matt. Yeah.

We love you back. I do love that. You say that. Did I ever tell you guys, one time I was doing a promotion and Matt was the poor person that was paired with me. And I get there and he goes, hey, look at this.

I got a surprise. and he brings up a lunchbox. A lunch box. He opens it up. His wife made us sandwiches and snacks for the promotion. That is amazing. Yes.

That is amazing. You know what? I saw that. That was at Menards. That was in Menards. Because you asked if I needed anything to eat. And I was like, dude, I already had a whole lunch. Yeah.

Oh, pimento cheese sandwiches. Yes. Absolutely. What is it? Tijin. Tijin on watermelon. Tijina on watermelon. My wife is like the dead mother.

It makes sense why you've wanted to be. with your wife for the last 14 years. Absolutely. I don't understand why she's chosen to pick you? I don't know either. You must be doing something right though. I kiss the ground every day. I am lucky. Oh, give us a break. We're going to puke. That's a boy. Anytime you ask Matt

to question and the answer is yes, he doesn't say yes. He goes, yeah. So, I mean, Josh and I have, we've tested them in the bag. Hey, do you have those tickets to Metallica? Yeah. Hey, was your driving to work enjoyable? Yeah. We do that all the time.

Let's cut to the chase, though. Let's cut to the chase. The two of you has been married for 14 years. Absolutely. You've done everything imaginable. Something's not only about names yet. Oh, really? Yes.

Also French, perhaps. You guys have done everything imaginable to each other. You know what? I know you too. I guarantee stuff gets weird. Discussing. Disgusting. I mean, it's like, they can't even,

it's not even an urban dictionary. It's so weird. That's kind of what it's all about. Then finally you look at each other and say, we gotta, we gotta slow down on this. This is repulsive. Absolutely. Take it end up in jail.

We're married. This is sick. We need to start knitting or something. We gotta get away for this. Congratulations again. I'm a round of applause. Yeah. Thank you, Matt, for all you do.

Josh, do you like Matt? I love Matt. Yeah. Yeah. With age comes wisdom? Huh? With age comes wisdom? With age comes wisdom.

Yeah. Well, there are some exceptions. Here's a question from a listener for all of us. Who's up for drink until blackout? I'm over the age of 21, so I'm good. I feel like blackouts were reserved for when you weren't legally allowed to drink. Well, some people bust that rule. into a million pieces. One more little comment

and then we'll take a break from the comment box. It sounds like somebody went into the men's room to take a squeege and they ended up hip to hip with Josh and Dana. Oh, nice. And they claim that Dana you did not wash your hands.

Oh, that's not true. Well, that's... Dana, you're disgusting. Dana, it's okay. I don't wash my hands. And then, Josh, there's a question mark next to your name. That's because I peed in the sink. Oh, my God.

I mean, you had to be there to wash your hands anyway. That's just efficient. That's how I look at it. How about let's... Okay, so, I mean, you know, I don't wash every time. I mean... No. I read one thing once that said that if it's like you have to actually touch the faucet to turn it on and off.

Yeah. That it's worse. Worse? Worse to wash your hands than to not do it because then you're touching everybody else's, you know, or not a little matter and stuff. So I read that once, and then since then I was like, I'm never washing my hands again. You don't even wash your hands, huh?

No, never. How about a question for the true players out there? How many of you boys ever wash your D in the sink? Yeah. Got a couple hands up. It's been emergencies. Isn't that the horse bath? Yeah.

I thought that was way more common. Maybe it's more common with women? To wash their penises? No, yeah. I'm going to say no. No, no, no, no. Like freshen up. Sometimes you just got a worse that some bitch off in the sink

because you've got to get back to, work. I thought every single hand in the room was going to go up. No, they get shy sometimes. Okay, we got to take another break. You're a great crowd. We're live from St. Croix Casino, Turtle Lake. Make a little noise for yourselves. We'll be back before you can say Jack Robinson. 93X half-assed morning show. The first ever afternoon edition of the half-ass morning show. Once again, make some noise for yourselves. Appreciate you coming by.

You've made history. today. What's up? We're going to shut her down here quickly, but you know the party's just starting. We'll be here until 11, 12. Ashley, probably bar close. She'll shut it down. You know it. But thank you to all of you for coming. Thank you to St. Croix Casino. Ashley, give us a great out. One out of ten. How do you think we did today? I don't know. I'd give it like an 8.5. I just got dropped off a cement mixer, too.

Don't do that to yourself. If anybody else wants to take this, come on up. Our guy, Jared, is coming up right now. He wants it. Yeah, you can have that. I want nothing to do with it. But thank you guys so much for coming out. Thank you so much, Turtle Lake. And thank you so much to our promotion staff.

Yes. Amy and Matt, we love you. And thank you, Holden, our engineer. Smartest guy in the room by far. We couldn't do any of this without him. And thank you for resetting my email passwords 17 times a week. All right, take us away, Dana. Yeah, we'll be back here a little bit.

We're going to go drop her stuff off. Nick and Josh will be back to. They said something about hookers in a hot tub, but they'll be back here in a little bit. So good for them. Thanks again for coming. We'll be back on the show at regular time 5.40 a.m. on Monday. Well, hey, you beautiful podcast, people. Dana here, and I'll just cut right to the chase and tell you about standard heating and air conditioning

because I know you're looking forward to the show. Winter is coming. The time to get your furnace wrenched on is now before the thing craps out and the boys below the belt shrivel up into pebbles because your house is so cold. Go to standardheating.com today and book that tune up. Mention 93x and save a big double nickel. Yeah, 55 bucks off the price of those commenters would have to pay. All right. Enjoy the show, you beautiful people.

I'm serious. You look great. Whatever you're doing, it's working. Keep it up.