93X Half-Assed Morning Show - 93XXX

Episode Date: June 3, 2026

Originally Aired June 3, 2026: 20 pounds of duck sausage. We're here to save Tom Cruise. Everything you wanna know about listeners favorite porn stars.  Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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What is it? The midweek wants you to talk dirty. Can you deliver the goods? Oh, I can give you some dirty. dirty talk. I bet you can. Look at you. Hey, baby. Are you prepared for a nice weinering? Because I got one coming at you. Look at you. You look filthy. Oh, like filthy in a sexy way? Yeah. Oh, I like to have a sexiness about me. You look like you can deliver the friggin' goods. Here's the deal. It's Wednesday. We're damn proud to have you with us here on what we call the 93x half-ass morning show. There's a reason why I'm coming at you with all this filth, florn, florin. at such an early hour.

I found something out last night. I did. By God, I found something out. And I shouldn't have to find this kind of information out at the bar. I should be getting this information at work. Did you guys know that some type of porn convention is coming, or maybe I should say arriving in town later this month? I had no idea.

No. Last night I'm sitting around having something other to eat at my favorite at beer hall. Here comes a derelict fellow drinker at this joint. He says he saw a billboard on the highway. Oh, really? And he says, did you guys know that there's a porn convention coming to town? I said, no, this is something that we should know at the radio station. We should be on the ground floor of an event like this and know all the bottom. I didn't know anything. He tells me, and now I've gone ahead with my cellular telephone here and looked it up. I didn't have time last night to get involved,

but I just looked this up on my cellular telephone, mainly because I don't want to get in trouble here at work for looking up porn on my work computer. But it's for real. At the end of this month, what is it, June 26th to the 28th, and I don't know the venue, the local venue that's going to... It's a Minneapolis Convention Center. It's called the Exotic.

show or something. Ex-Expo. What did I say? You said show. It's the Expo. Exotica is spelled with three X's, which means you're in for a long evening. Buckle up. Yeah, definitely. The Exotica Expo is coming to town. By damn, they're going to have

seminars, live stage shows, meet and greets with 250 different adult. How the hell did we not find this out at the radio station? I'm considering, I'm considering contacting a psychologist or something because of our memory. We did talk about this here at the radio station. Dana just messaged me. We were even talking about having a guest in studio and I completely

forgot. The problem is right after the show. Our brains are mush. Anything that happens after that for the next few hours, I never remember. So not that it matters anymore, but I was in the room when this conversation was happening. Yeah. We talked about having a guest come in. That is concerning. It's concerning. My memory is becoming just mush. But here. Here are some of the stars, according to my research here on my cellular telephone. Here is, and yes, listeners are texting insane. The billboard is off 94 and Rogers. I haven't gone up that way.

But this is just, it's wonderful. It's expensive. What do they want? Did you look at the prices for tickets? This is as far as I've gotten is just a little bit of information. And I do know some of the people who will be appearing, some of the porn star. No, what do they want in trade to walk into the joint? $164.

bucks. I don't know what a convention, like a cos, some of those big ones, you know, like a sci-fi convention or a cosplay convention. Maybe they're all that expensive, but. Okay. Lisa Ann will be making an appearance. According to my cell phone, don't come after me if you go to the Exotica Expo here in a couple of weeks and you don't see Lisa Ann.

I'm just telling you the information I have. Is she from Who's Nailin-Palen? Yes. And she's just one of the most... She's very pretty. Oh, she is just outrageously hot. in every possible way. There's a real reason why she made it big in the adult movie industry.

Lisa's Ann, some of these people I'm not familiar with. Let me give you the ones that I am familiar with. Piper Perry, I'll be damned. Jenna Hayes. Oh, be still in my heart. I've heard that name. Is she been around forever? Yeah, she's been around for a long time.

Not saying she's old, but I mean, I think she's kind of like one of the ones that's very well-known. She understands, Josh, you didn't mean any harm. And yeah, she's been plugging her ears with her big toes in the porno movie business for a good 20-some. Impressive. Lauren Phillips. Now, this is one, Josh, if somehow you find yourself at the Exotica Expo in a couple of weeks, what did you say, the Minneapolis Convention Center? Yep. If somehow you find yourself there.

And I talked to some buddies about possibly going to this last night. You know, once I got the information at the bar, I started talking to some of my beer drinking pals about possibly going. We're thinking that maybe we're too old for this and we'll be looked at as dirty gray-haired perverts that need to go home. But anyway, Josh, you certainly don't have that dirty gray-haired pervert look. You could still pass for a 30-year-old. I'd say this isn't my thing at all.

You guys know I'm not into porn. I mean, I've certainly seen it a couple times, mostly from friends who are trying to ruin me. But I would like to go to something like this, just to see what it's like. I kind of wonder if it's crazy boring. I don't think you... I like conventions, you know, but I wonder what this would be like.

I don't think you would consider this boring. From what I understand, from what I've seen on websites and whatnot, uh, I've seen videos of what these conventions are like and I don't think you would go home calling the event boring. But here's where I'm going with this. Now, Gianna Michaels, if somehow you are at this event, Josh, don't you dare come within 20 feet of Giannis?

Nana Michael. Is she yours? No, no, no. That's not it. No, no, no. She does not belong to me. But she would tear you to pieces. They would find pieces of you all over town. I've heard that name before. I think a lot of them because you and Ashley. She would spot you from, I bet you, across the room. She would, she could, she'd get the vibe that you're nothing but a cuck. I'd like to consider myself more than that. And she would tear you limb from limb with not a single regret. Are we allowed to say the guest that we're, where are we on that, Dana? What's that?

The guest, I know you were trying to work that out. I don't know. I think we're allowed to say it. I don't know why not. Well, I mean, where are? I just don't want to say it. Oh, yeah, she's playing on coming in. Okay, Jordan Max.

Yeah. Our old porn star friend, Jordan Max, will be coming in. Jordan Max. Yeah. She's probably going to have her own booth over there. Yeah, I wonder. That's great. So she's in town just for this.

Oh, yeah, that's what it sounds like. That's awesome. Yeah, she hit me up and said she'd be around if we wanted her to come in. That is so cool. She's probably been to dozens of these already. Oh, I bet, yeah. She could tell us all about it. Yeah, I'd like to know kind of what goes on.

I mean, can they show porn at something like this? I'm sorry if that's a stupid question. It just seemed like a convention center is like. I would think so. So buttoned up. I don't know the rules. Like I said, I've seen some videos of how. these conventions play themselves out.

And it looks to be very entertaining. But the websites that I've watched these videos on don't allow nudity. You know what I mean? So I don't know if, like if Piper Perry is standing at the Piper Perry booth, does she have a big screen behind her showing the crowd all the wonderfully disgusting things that she does? That's what I'm wondering. I don't know because like I said, the websites where I've seen it's been things like YouTube and whatnot.

So I don't know the rules. Box tossing Jesus wants to know what the event's called. Yeah, we mentioned it. It's the Exotica Expo. And again, Exotica. Oh, Exotica has two Xs. I thought it was three at first. What I'm looking at, it's three.

Oh, it is? Yeah. On the convention center website. I mean, Cubby, there'll be, you know, little specials. Like, I mean, I'm not, don't quote me on this, but ladies, Get in for free on Friday, an exclusive after parties. Whoa, I bet those are fun. Interactive this and that.

Presented by Chatterbate, one of the sponsors of the event. That brings a bell to me. Ashley, have you- I know what that is. Chat roulette type of place? No, I've never been there, but I know what it is. It's always like the ads on other websites. Wow.

Has something like this ever come to the Twin Cities, arrived in the Twin Cities? Probably. Because you would have thought we would have heard about it. I'm surprised you can advertise something like that on a billboard. I mean, it must not be very risque. It's just, I guess things are loosening up a little bit. There's so many weird rules about it, and you'd think we'd advertise that.

I'm surprised our listing audience didn't call attention to this already. Maybe the Billboard just went up. I would have thought we would have received the text ad. Have you seen the Billboard on 94 between Rogers and St. Michael? Yeah, Josh. I bet the billboard, I bet you you don't see any spokes on the billboard. No. They probably have to keep it fairly clean.

Would you drive off the main, and would you drive into the ditch if there were spokes on a billboard? Probably. I would. I would. I'd go right off the road. Josh just thinks it's a tire ad at first and he's like, oh, God, no. Why is there a bleached tire up there? The new Michelins are in.

Oh, no. Wait a minute. Those are spokes. You can't show spokes on a bill. And you go off the road. That's true. I'd be looking at them going. I wonder if those are snowflake rated.

Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. So, I mean, this is. A lot of tread on those spokes. I imagine the security is busier at a convention like this versus, you know, like a hunting and fishing expo. Yes, I bet there is a difference in the level of security. Yeah, but they're a little bit busier. Got to throw some more people out than usual.

But I don't remember anything like this being in town before, and I've lived here for quite a few years. I guess I could think of some now. I was trying to remember what's the dirtiest one? What's the one with the giant dildo? It looks like it's a guy with his arms spread way out. Oh, my dad. You're talking about a billboard?

Yeah, billboard. I've seen those billboards. Yeah, they're everywhere. It escapes me what it is. It's the silhouette of a man. His arms are spread. as far as possible. And you say it looks like a dildo?

Yeah, it's like it's advertising a dildo. I can't come up with the name, but I know what you're talking about. Josh and I, when we were younger guys, we always wanted the opportunity to go on over to Las Vegas for the AVN Awards. And the radio station would tease us every year. Hey, maybe we'll send you guys out to the AVN Awards. Maybe you'll broadcast live. So rude. Maybe this, maybe that.

You know, if we... Yeah, how many years in a row do you think that was brought up? Hey, this is the year. 15. Yeah, at least. And, of course, you know, if we filled up a bucket with maybes and potentials in our career here, we would drown in them. But it never happened. Now, I just, like I said, I think if I walked into the Exotica, how do you call it Expo? Ah, I think I would...

Security would have an eye on me. I think I'm too old looking now. I don't think so. I kind of think it'd probably be a lot of people, you know, around our age. Probably. That'd be my guess, really. Probably. Here's a listener who texts in to say, hey, June 26th, when the convention allegedly begins here in town, June 26 is my birthday.

And this listener wants to know if we think they'll have a scratch and sniff booth. I hope not. No, we don't want you to do that. I mean, that's your thing? We don't want you to do that, not in public. Wow. I'd imagine there'll probably be some appearances around town too, right? Yeah.

Like maybe some, like the celebrity dancers at a Rick's Cabaret or something like that. Oh, I thought you meant like Lisa Ann would make an appearance on the CAR 11 morning show or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, they could make some big money at the boom boom when these big stars come to town. I would think that's going to happen. I mean, before there was the Internet. and these porn stars had the ability to make gillions of dollars just sitting at home playing with themselves

with a camera pointed at them. Before they had social media and only fans and all that, that's how a lot of these porn gals would make their real money is they'd go on the road and tour the strip joints. And me and my buddies, we had that calendar in front of us and we knew when they were coming to town and for how long they were going to stay there. I bet some sex shops could have some.

Maybe if, like, Lisa Ann has her own sleeve of a flashlight. Are there any sex shops in town anymore? Is that one in Burnsville still there? I don't know. There's one in my neighborhood. I think it's called, like, fantasy gifts or something like that? Oh, that's good to know. Does Lickety Split still around?

No. Okay. You and I went there. I mean, at least not where it used to be located there by Rick's Cabaret. Obviously, Sex World. That's all gone. Yeah. Yeah, I just, it seems like they're few and far between now.

The porno shops, the dildo shops. we used to be able to duck in and have some laughs in a lot of different neighborhoods. I'm glad to hear that Ashley says there's still one up her way in the North Metro. But yeah, we used to go, we used to have that calendar, and we'd know when these porn stars were showing up. I have fond memories of spending the night once with Sunset Thomas. Anybody? No. She was a big porn star in the 90s.

you probably saw her and you didn't know it. Sunset Thomas was a big part of that HBO cat house. Dennis. The bunny ranch. The bunny ranch, thank you. Oh, yeah, I recognize her now. I believe that she was married to that Dennis Hoff character who ran the bunny ranch. I think he's checked out now.

But yeah, we would go and, oh, like, you know, Christy Canyons in town for the weekend. Let's go out. We get pictures taken. want to see the pictures. Navajo, Sheez has said smitten kitten in Uptown. I'm embarrassed. I thought that was a bar. I didn't know who is a sex shop. It's like a well-known, I've certainly heard the name. It's right there on Lynn Lake by a lot of the bars I go to, and there's one time, it's right next to the sandwich joint, too, that I love. And one day, it was like a Tuesday, I was going to get a sandwich around lunchtime. A cab pulls up, not an Uber, an old school cab. The door opens, and guy gets out

in a robe, like a hotel robe and a hotel slippers, and go. into the sex shop, leaves like the meter running, and as I'm walking by, there's a woman in there in the cab two, wearing the same robe. Like, it must have been some type of emergency that they needed something bad that they just were in their robes, called a cab, and went straight to this

min-kid and get whatever they needed. You know what I bet was happening there, Dana? I bet you something was stuck. Oh, maybe. This was an emergency. They're not going to go to the hospital. They're going to go to the porn shop. They've got some, they've got a little medical facility. Well, I'm guessing they needed something slippery to get something unstuck.

That could be, that could very well be. I think that I've got that CSI episode figured out. Okay, there's still, people are texting in on the local porn shops, sex shops. There's still one on Highway 10 in St. Cloud. Oh, God, I went there so many times as a young guy. Pure Pleasure is still open in St. Cloud. That must be the one that the prior listener was referencing. Fantasy Gifts in Burnsville, Fantasy Gifts in Coon Rapids.

Oh, the Lions Den in Oatana, Josh. That sounds awesome. I haven't been there. Yeah, there's plenty out there. Thank you, brother and sisterhood. There's a lot. And porno Jesus, I mean, he would know. He texted in to say, at these porn conventions,

damn near everybody there is 40 plus. I was thinking maybe I was too old for the gig. That was kind of my guess. I mean, think about like when we've gone to some of those swingers, places and resorts and nudists. It's usually people like our age, I didn't 40 year older. Gray-haired masturbators.

Out for a rip, Jesus says there was something similar in town. I was guessing maybe this is the first time. There's been an event like this in the Twin Cities. Out for a rip, Jesus said he and his old lady went there, went to an event 10, 15 years ago with the very cliche name of Sex Fest. He and his wife visited that convention. They cruised through the exhibits, he says. It's very straightforward.

You know what you're getting? Ashley. Sex Fest, right? Well, that is just one hell of an exciting story. Two pumps in a fist, Jesus says he hears that Bonnie Blue is making an appearance

possibly at this event. We don't know that to be true. She's one that everyone talks about now as far as porn stars go. She's the one that takes on, like, the most guys in a row. Yeah. She's the latest. A lot of women have, you know, had that record. Right, but that's how she's known now.

Yeah, I don't see what the... I'm like, I have no idea. She doesn't really, you know, send me into a panic, but that's just my own personal taste. How about that? I'm proud of the Twin Cities. I am. One listener wants to know, do they lay plastic over the carpeting over there at the...

Hope so. At the convention center. They're bringing a whole janitorial staff for that. Easier to clean up. I wonder if there's any new employees at the convention center that are starting this month. Maybe on purpose? That might be working. and find themselves in a corner not knowing what to expect.

What I'm curious about, that's a big place, and a lot of times they'll have multiple conventions going on. I'd like to know the concurrent ones. Yeah, because usually when there's some sort of expo like this, there's also like a dance competition going on. Or some big kind of religious group. Oh, my God, that'd be awesome. Something tells me they'll be careful about mixing that crowd, but you never know.

Oh, speaking of that, I wonder if there's going to be any folks holding, like, signs outside. Disapproving of such a... Not encouraging of that. I'm just wondering if that's the thing that's going to happen. I bet you there will be, Josh, because every effing acid rock, wolf rock, or thrash metal show that I've gone to over the last 30 years, there's at least one person out there hollering at us about Jesus Christ. Yep. Brewer's in High Life, Jesus said he's considering asking his wife if they can go to the expo.

So if you don't hear from me for a few days, she said no, he said. Yeah, we'll check in on you. Good luck. Yeah, there might be protesters, Josh. Good question. Many years ago, I went to an Andrew Dice Clay concert, and there were protesters. Oh, I suppose. Yeah.

But that was 1991 when Dice was at his absolute height of popularity, and half of us loved his act, and the other half thought he was the most obscene some bitch on earth. But it got salty. there on the way in and out the show. There were shoving matches and people hollering at each other back and forth over the Dice show. That seems so tame in 2026. Yeah, some of his jokes.

Yeah, I don't know. I guess I don't know. I mean, people are... Actually, his jokes come off way worse in 2026 than they... Yeah. Oh, it's supposed to. Think of the lens now. I mean, shoot, how many things have we had to delete around here?

Like, oh, it doesn't work now. But I'll tell you. Cubby, if you go to the expo, don't you, don't make eye contact with Gianna Michaels. She will see right through you and you will end up in a wheelchair. I'll only go if you go. I'll go if you go, he says. Country girl, kind of redneck. She said she sent a screenshot of what else is going on at the same time as the Expo.

The Time Travelers Vintage Expo is going on. Is there going to be some old people? What is that? Like very old? What does that mean? Do you know? I'm going to look it up. The Time Travelers Vintage Expo.

So I imagine it's everything from the 50s and 60s, like an old Beatles lunchbox. That actually sounds pretty sweet. I don't know. A vintage train set or something like that. It's like a huge thrift store basically, right? Cool. All right. That sounds fun.

That sounds really fun. That does sound fun. You do both in one day? Who doesn't enjoy a little walk? through the neighborhood thrift store. Yeah, it looks very 60s and 70s here. Oh. You see, up north, you can find a couple of really solid thrift stores.

What does a friend of mine calls it the dead guy store or the dead man's mall or something like that? Because everything in there is usually donated by a family who's lost a dad or a mom or a grandpa or a grandpa, right? And they turn these old, old items into the thrift store and it becomes vintage, right? The Dead Man's Mall or something. There was one really solid one up north that I walked through. Oh, God, they had some great stuff from way back in the 50s.

And I found my wife and I bought a Love Boat board game for a friend of ours. Sounds cool. The television show Love Boat had its own board game in the late 70s. You can fight a little bit every damn thing. So there you go. Well, yeah, I hope we can get Jordan Max in here to. talk about it. Oh, let's do our best for that. Yeah, I want to know

the details. Let's see what the hell is going on over there. What really goes on? Ah, wow. Some of our listeners are texting in, naming their favorite all-time porn star wondering if he or she may be

there. Ron Jeremy, I don't think he's terribly popular with that crowd anymore. I think he's gotten in some trouble, but that's just what I think. I thought I've heard heard some rumors that Ron might be. Jill Kelly, I remember Jill Kelly, sure. Yeah, if Ron Jeremy's there, he wasn't invited.

He just bought a ticket. Yeah, if I remember, he's been accused of some pretty bad things. Who was that tall, blonde porn star we had in studio years ago, Josh? I mean, my God, she was just stunning, even at 6 o'clock in the morning. and we had some pictures taken with her. I wish I could remember. She was very famous. I guess I'm asking you're not the kind of guy that knows who these porn stars are,

but I thought maybe you'd remember just because of, I mean, she just completely changed the vibe in the room. She was so gorgeous. This wasn't the one that was in the old 93X commercial. No. Same day Jason, you said after that. That gal was, she was minor leagues. This gal was like a massive, massive 90s porn star,

and it bothers me that I can't think of her name. It doesn't matter. Let's see, people are calling out their favorite. Ooh, was it Jessica Drake? Oh, yeah, that's right. Yes. Yep. Thank you.

I wonder if I can see that in our calendar. Lambo Jesus came up with that. Jessica Drake. Okay, here are some listeners naming their favorite porn stars. Jenna Jameson, sure. Nina Hartley, maybe the greatest of all time. Legend. Seca, I remember seeing one of her movies when I was a ninth grader or something.

Sunny Lane, okay, sure, sure, sure. Nick, Jessica Drake. That was her? May 19th, 2017. Wow, it feels like much longer ago than that. It does. Much longer ago. I was going to guess late 90s.

F, me. Maybe we've had her on more than once. Maybe we did have her on more than. What does this mean? I don't even know what this means. is recommending we medicate ourselves in a particular way before we go to the Exotica Expo. But since I'm not familiar with these medications, I'm not going to say them out loud. So it's not like a Viagra joke or something?

No. No, here. I'm going to print this off for you, Josh. Tell me if you know what this means. Do you guys know who, while we wait, do you know who Ava Adams is? The name is familiar. Okay. What about it?

Well, Bug Eye Wagon, Jesus said, Woo-wee. Oh. Don't you love some of the names, too? Yeah. It seems like the dudes, don't they kind of get the more suggestive ones? In the old days, they did. In the old days, it's different now.

They don't play that game anymore where, you know, it's, you know, John Rod and Mike Hard. And they don't really do that anymore as often as they did. in the 80s and night. And every woman was Missy Mounds or Barbara Bush or whatever. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Really. Oh, this guy says these are boner pills. Oh, yeah. I just looked it up. Yeah, boner pills. And honey. What does honey do for? I don't know.

Anyway, the guy says you should take some rhino pills. Okay, that must be a... And honey packets? I don't know what this guy's talking about. But he says they're boner medications. Yeah, I don't think I want to do that. That's why I'd get kicked out. I'm sorry, it will go away.

That's on, yeah, I don't think anybody wants that, Josh. I think rule number one is don't get a boner at the porn home convention. Try and try the erection. Yeah, we're compression shorts, do whatever you can. Can I tell you the story again real quick? And we've got to take a break. Can I tell you the story again real quick about the dude who had a boner at the coffee shop? Yes.

But do you remember me telling this story? I love this story. My wife and I were visiting Wyoming. We had a great time in Wyoming. This was last summer, last spring summer, I can't recall, but it was a year ago. And for breakfast, we walked into some dopey little coffee shop in town because they had breakfast sandwiches and this and that. And this dude is walking around. He's got his, because everyone's all fit and they're all exercising in that part of the world.

Everyone's wearing, because it was morning time, everyone's wearing their jogging outfit or their biking out. Spandex. Right, spandex. This dude is wearing like the, the. the sheer wind pants. That's what they are. Wind pants. Sorry, it took me a while.

And he's got this massive rod. And my wife was the first one. There's kids in there. My wife was the first one to say, what's this guy doing with a boner? Right? He loves coffee. And I said, Jesus, you couldn't not notice it.

But the best part about it, dude had his wife with him. And eventually his wife notices that he's got a rod in his pants. And we couldn't hear her, but it was very obvious that his wife, noticed, walked up into his face, we couldn't hear, but I swear to God, she must have said, why do you have a boner right now? Go to the bathroom and uptuck that thing. And you see the guy kind of defending his boner. He's like, I don't know what they're right. I will have one

Papachino, please. He must have been saying, you know, it just happened. I'm sorry. And she's like, go outside. So she made him go outside. He turns around too fast. He knocks a coffee off a table. He should be going outside. He should be in here with that. And isn't that funny, Josh, I don't think a young couple probably couldn't do that. But if you're married for a while, your boner does kind of become your wife's problem, right? Yeah, I think so. She had no qualms about walking up and saying, what's the problem with you? Why do you have a boner?

And he had to fight. They had to fight about it for a minute in the coffee shop before she made him leave. That'd be embarrassing. Yeah. I mean, you're supposed you'd have to blame her, right? You know, if you weren't so hot, you'd still bring it after all these years. People are saying it could have been the pleat. The pleat of the pants.

It was not the pleat. It was not the pleat. Because I've had jeans that. were a little too big and when you sit down you get that. No, no. It was not that, Josh. It's nice of you to give him the benefit of the doubt. I always try and give somebody the benefit of the doubt. This guy had a raging, throbbing erection

at the coffee shop for no good reason. Josh, over here defending the man's boner. I will defend any man's boner. Well, Cubby's always the one to want to see the possible positive spin. Glass half full. You're one of those. All right. We ought to... Pants half full.

Pants half full. All right. We ought to get going again. What's wrong? Somebody sent a gross photo. Shame on you, swamp-stomping Jesus. I can't wait. A gross photo of what? You got to give a headshot for something like.

A gross photo of what? Sexually charged photo. That is. And you guys had a warning. Ouch, that's going to leave a mark. Can you give me the name? Swamp stomping Jesus. Aunt Dieter Jesus said boners are natural and beautiful.

You're right. They have to be appropriate. Embrace the boner. All right. Swamp stomping Jesus. She might need to go the dentist. Shame on you. He's not blocked.

He is, we're giving him a gold star. Permanent, unblocked. That's his situation now? He wins the text contest for what he sent us. It's a gif. and it is the ultimate gift. The gift that keeps on giving. All year long.

We'll take a break and come back with the stupid news here on the program scheme. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at standard heating and air conditioning come into. play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling,

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That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. One night with Stiney. One night with Stiney. Shout out. Fullson, Nell. This is just about me being myself. It's going to be chaotic.

I can't guarantee anything. All I can guarantee is that you're going to be entertained. Can I join an OVO? You can keep DMing Drake or keep paying. I like hope you. I know that I do that. I know you DM Drake all the time. I know. How do you know that?

You paid me $3,000 on Venmo one time to text him for you. Dude. One night with Stiney. One night with Sine. Let's go. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. The 93x half-assed morning show. Oops.

We're starting over. Oops. That's on me. Wrong intro. I missed it. What happened? You played the show, we got to start all over. Here, let's try.

You didn't like how it started? No, I wanted to run it back. Let's try this one. There we go. There we go. On the half-assed morning show. Dumbass. It happened.

Yeah, that's kind of fun. I have to be honest, I didn't even notice the difference. Big news earlier this morning, if you're just tuning into the program, here's a porno show coming to town. They call it the Exotica Expo. Three X's in the word Exotica, if you just want to look it up. This month, end of this month at the Minneapolis Convention Center. I think it's the 26th through the 28th.

I just learned about it last night. We had a long conversation. How exciting to have a show like this coming to town. The Exotica Expo. One of our listeners texted in to say that he's going to be working glory hole number 13 that weekend. Oh, we'll have to stop by and say hello. Put your hand through and shake hands with them. Great to meet you, sir.

Hope it's just a hand. Why are there no fingers on the sand? A number of massive porn stars will be appearing, reportedly. A number of massive porn stars will be appearing at the Exotica Expo. This is what we read online. Lisa Ann, Piper Perry, Jenna Hayes, who is lights out at what she does for a living. Piper Pair. Oh, I was thinking of Piper Parabo. Isn't that the chick from Coyote Ugly or something?

Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I know who that is. She drove me crazy in a movie. I forgot what the movie was, that Piper Parabo. She looked so good in the movie, it drove me crazy. She's pretty. But I forget which movie it was.

Here are the other porn stars that we understand are appearing at the Exotica Expo. Josh, the most dangerous woman in the business, Gianna Michaels. It prompted our listeners to text in and tell us their favorite all-time porn star. So just hang on to yourself here for a lot of time. a minute. Backdoor slamming walleye Jesus says, Nikki Charm. Eve. I'm sorry? A lot of these are

kind of like older porn stars. You just know. Well, that's okay that you... Yeah, but that's why I don't know. I don't know them. And I feel... Those are the only names that I know are some of the older... Maybe just because I've heard you guys talk about. This isn't a list of porn stars that Ashley's aware of. This is a list of... And I want to be able to look them up.

He's named one. I know. Like the ones from earlier. I have a look up a bunch earlier. Typical man, right, Ashley, just rushing right through it. Is there a problem? Come on, slow it down, a little foreplay. Work into this. Eve.

Got it. Alfie. Alfie. Porn star. Okay. Your thoughts. Okay, we got through that one. Got that one.

Kelsey Monroe, Phoenix Marie. Brandy Love, Bree Olson. These are the favorite porn stars of the brother and sisterhood. Oh, Brie Olson. Wasn't she one of the goddesses? I think so. I never followed that. When Charlie lost his mind, I didn't really follow his bit terribly closely,

but I think she was one of the goddesses, the three women who apparently were in love with Charlie Sheen and vice versa. Ashlyn Brooke, Tara Patrick, Torrey Black, Electra Blue, Riley Reed, Jerry Reed, Pearl Sinclair, Lena Paul, Kelly Madison, Ginger Lynn, and Jerry Lynn. Lena Paul is a goddess But I just Discovered something kind of cool About Pornhub

I was looking up Eva Elthy And she's actually younger You're on Pornhub right now Yeah uh huh So like when I clicked like They have like profiles I guess on Pornhub Where obviously you could see like all their videos But it also has like little bios

And it says like relationship status Single career status active But I like this it says Fake boobs no Like it tells you whether or not the porn star has fake boobs. All the stats. That's so cool. Wow.

And now more texts are coming in. And this dude with a five and a nine and a nine and a five in his number, I agree with you. This is old school. But I agree with you. This is one of those that I fell in love with in high school. Samantha Strong. Nice call dude with the fives and the nines and the fives and the in his telephone number. Samantha Strong.

Now you want to hear a quick story. Here is a listener who says, I had a track coach in high school that supposedly was a porn star in the 70s, and his porn name was Moose Knuckle. Now, that never happened, meaning your track coach was never a porn star. We had those imaginary stories when we were in school, too. Your track coach was never a porn star, but it's a fun story. Moose Knuckle.

Oh, Ginger Lynn was in this radio studio many, many, many years ago, even before Cubby and I were working together. Ginger Lynn was in this studio. for an interview in my early days in the business. And she, it was, you know, first impressions, you know, you know how that goes. Maybe she was just having a bad day, but she did not strike me as a very happy person. Oh, no. No, she did not.

She did not. I think she also had a connection to Charlie Sheen. But he's been dipping his rod and everything in town since the early 80s. I heard her either orgasm or fake orgasm on Danger, Danger. song from back in the day called Ginger Snaps. They, uh, the little intro. I remember that. Monkey business.

Terrible record, a terrible song. Not a terrible record. Terrible band. Or a terrible song or terrible band. But I remember that. Sure, ginger snaps. Ain't no business like monkey business. Bang.

Andy Tim is great guitar player. Not the greatest guitar player. Wonderful guitar player. Incredible guitar player. Here they come. Lyricist though, and I don't follow lyrics. Terrible. Worst lyrics.

Awful. I'll concede that. Absolutely terrible. They were a poor man's Bon Jovi. More text coming in on your favorite porn stars. This is just fun. Kay Parker. Oh my damn.

That goes way back. Kay Parker. That's way back. Of course, we mentioned Christy Canyon already. Sylvia Saint. I'll tell you what. She's British Kay Parker. She was just an animal back in the day.

Sasha Gray has just entered the conversation. Yeah, she's one of the all-timers. She gave it her all. I know her on the telephone. From Entourage. That's right. Yeah, she's Vinnie Chase's girlfriend for a while. I didn't know she was a real porn star.

I thought that was just part of the show. I think Nick's the one that told me, oh, yeah, she's really well known. Never saw it. But yes. I don't know if you liked that or not. I really liked it. If it was a television series, so most of them that I, most of them I don't like, you're probably right. Okay.

It's very exciting. Sorry, we're all going off the rails. It's thrilling to have a porn convention come to town. So we're going to be a little weird for a while until this makes its way through. My goodness, the texts are coming in like freezing. Yeah, it's insane. I'm glad someone mentioned this gal too. This was one of my favorites.

Just absolutely one of the most unique-looking, most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life. Chacey Lane. Absolutely stunning. Somebody mentions the porn star Johnny Sins. Didn't we have him in studio once? Doesn't ring a bell. I'm familiar with the name. He's become a big deal over the years, last few years.

Social media, I think, only fans and things like that has really pushed him to the top of the conversation. I couldn't pick him out of a crowd. I don't think we've ever had him in studio. I don't think have we ever had, other than Ron Jeremy, have we ever had a male porn star in studio? Yeah, we did. and it might have played Trump in some porn or something.

Oh, that was some local dude. Yeah. So, okay, I knew it was like some porn guy. Yeah, that was just some local dude. I think that might have all been a joke, but anyway. I'm sorry, this is almost like when Josh and I go on and on about 80s rock. As the texts keep coming in, I'm reminded of Maryland Chambers. lights out, lights smooth out.

She's dead. But she was in the business so long, Cubby. She worked with Johnny Wad. Is that a nickname for somebody? Oh, John Holmes. Nothing? John Holmes, the most famous? Oh, I've heard of him, yeah.

Yeah. I don't know much about him. Wasn't Marilyn Chambers? Didn't she sing like on whiskey in the jar with Metallica? Or do something with Metallica? No, that was. Marianne Faithful or something like that. No, I don't think so.

Marilyn and Chambers singing with Metallica. I thought there was some Metallica connection. I mean, Hogan played with Metallica. Hulk Hogan played a little. Base player for a while? He was the original. You can look that up. That doesn't sound familiar.

Marilyn Chambers singing with... They had a connection or so. Maybe she didn't sing. You know, one of the darkest movies I've ever seen, and I love it, because it's based on a true story. It's very violent and very dark. It stars Val Kilmer as John Holmes.

And it's called Wonderland. Anybody? No, never heard of it even. It is such a, an awesome, disgusting, dirty movie. What's the premise? It's the premise is this real life, horrible killing spree that happened in Los Angeles, Hollywood in the early 80s. Well, I shouldn't call it a killing spree

because it was one night where a bunch of drug dealers and shady characters were killed brutally. And there are people who, to this day, believe it was John Holmes, the porn star, who was the killer. Johnny Watt? You should look that up.

Sounds like it's at my alley. Val Kilmer is terrific in the movie. It's terrific in everything. And there's other notable actors and actresses. I couldn't call them by name. But Wonderland. All right. Thank you, brother and sisterhood.

Marilyn Chambers was in the video for whiskey in the jar. Really? Okay. She was in the, yeah. For some reason I thought she's saying. But yeah, okay, that must be it. Oh, boy. Yeah, the Wonderland murders.

Interesting, really interesting, dark story. Do they reference Johnny Holmes in it? Do they say? Well, yeah, Val Kilmer plays John Holmes in the movie. Oh, okay. I missed that part. Yeah. All right

Somebody or porn or Jesus texted out and said that movie you're just talking about is effed up Yeah, said dude yeah Well, I'll have to watch it then. It's really good. I love that kind of stuff. It's really good, yeah. On to the stupid news report, although it's going to be hard to concentrate, while everyone is texting in pornoral related material.

Oh, here we go. Raquel Darien, absolutely, absolutely. Jada Fire, Word Life. Christy Mack, absolutely. Oh, that was my... The Mac attack. That was my ex-husband's favorite born star. Yeah, she put up the Mac attack, Cubby.

There were no survivors. Christy Mac, is that you said? Yes. Yeah, I've heard of her. Peter North. Sure. Let's not play games here. Let's just jump straight into total insanity.

It says here now last Friday in Detroit, Michigan, a 67-year-old man went ahead and crashed his car into an airport terminal. And then he started screaming nonsense about Tom Cruise. This was at a place called the Evans Terminal at Detroit Metro Airport. 9.30 in the morning last Friday, if you want specifics, I'll give them to you. 9.30 in the morning last Friday.

This obvious nutbag driving in his, ooh, Cadillac SUV. fancy he zigzagged slowly around barricades there out front the airport until he was able to slap the front end of his vehicle into the front door of the terminal i think this dildo cubby i think he's lucky he didn't get his tires shot out uh on the spot acting like that or worse or just airhold killed dead by airport security right on the spot that didn't happen he was able to slam the front end of his vehicle into the front door of the terminal. Cops pounced on this goofy prick almost immediately. They said the dude looked mental when he climbed out the car. I bet. He didn't have any weapons on him, and apparently he told everyone that he was there to, quote, meet Tom Cruise and to quote, save Tom Cruise's dad.

if in fact that gentleman is even still alive. He was at the wrong airport. You got to go to Brainerd Lakes Regional Airport because Tom Cruise, he's got some property. Cabin up there. Everyone always sees Tom Cruise up at Brin. So we said again, I'm there to meet Tom Cruise. I'm there to save Tom Cruise's dad.

His dad has passed away. That comment failed to make any sense to anyone on the scene, with the exception of the driver dude who said it out loud. there was no sign of Tom Cruise or his deceased father at the Detroit airport that day. So whack bag was shoved into a police vehicle and taken over to the nearest nervous hospital. The airport says they're going to pop up a few more of those barriers out front the joint, just in case Tom Cruise and his dad do make an appearance there someday. That's about as random as you can get right there.

I mean, Tom Cruise, he should do him a solid and go and visit him in jail. No, he shouldn't. Nah, it's probably not safe for Mr. Cruz. That's a bad idea. Do you know my wife once met Tom Cruise? For real? Yeah. That's some kind of a fancy-smancy convention that my wife was organizing.

You know, that's what she does for a living. She organizes these events, these hotel conventions and companies have big parties. And my wife's the one who organizes their hotel rooms and their events. And so at one of these gang bangs, Tom Cruise, was there, and I think he was married to that little dark-haired gal at the time. Katie Holmes? Oh. Peyton, who?

Katie Holmes? That sounds right to me. And she said he was very nice and not tall. Yeah, that was going to be my question. Anyway, says here... I heard he's very nice. How about that Detroit airport? Listen to this now. Last winter at a different terminal. How do you

say it? Terminal? Last winter at a different terminal there at the Detroit Airport. They call this one the McNamara Terminal. Last winter, some derelict smashed his car, smooth through the front door of the building, and ended up banging his car into the check-in counter. I'm here. What's it?

Also a luxury car? I thought that was like a Mercedes. They drive some nice cars when you're crashing into airports. I don't know what type of car it was. He was able to get through the front series of, you know, it was not like a chicken setup there at the front door. of an air. Big thick glass doors. He pounded through that and ended up bang, right into the check-in counter

where the lady's got her 1,000 mile an hour fingers on the keyboard. He made her all the way up there. They had to beat him into oblivion. Yeah, again, lucky for him. He didn't get airhold in that situation. Dude. You would think it would just be pop-pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, and that'd be it. Definitely. Just blood everywhere. Victoria Paris, we're still naming off our favorite porn.

We're still naming off our favorite porn stars here on the show with the convention coming to town. Victoria Paris. God rest her soul. Gorgeous. Coco Vandy? Are you familiar with that? Not at all. Nope. Never heard that name afore. Janine Linda Mulder.

I can't believe it's taken this long to name off Janine. Oh, I thought her name came up. If it did, I missed it. Again, hard to even believe how attractive that gal was is. Here's a video you might enjoy now.

This is a full-on four-alarm adult-style temper tantrum. One of my very favorite things in the entire world. You know that, don't you, Josh? Yeah, you liked it. I love it when the grown folks bust a spring. Here's the headline. An electrician cut off the power at a restaurant

after someone called him a meth head. Oh, no. They took to name calling, huh? This video is up on 93X.com. The video's good. It is. He kind of, like, I get it. I would probably kind of think.

think meth head. Yeah, but someone called him a methhead. Yeah, you can't be saying that out loud. That's not right. Keep that to yourself. Yeah, that's not right to call someone a meth. It's pretty rude. The dude did look a little iffy.

Yeah. Pretty obvious he had something going on that day. Thumb's up. The dude who was called a meth head, he identified himself as an electrician. Was it ever proven that he actually is an electrician? That doesn't matter. Or like, how does being an electrician? change whether or not you do meth.

You could be an electrician and still do meth. Well, it wasn't like someone called him a meth head, and he said, no, I'm not a meth head, I'm an electrician. But I think I see what you mean. Yeah. So, dude who was called a meth head, he then said, hey, and this video, by the way, is all over the godless and wildly misinformed social media. Everyone's talking about this video, and it's interesting.

So here, I'll tell the story as best I can. a Taco Bell restaurant. The social media folks say it was a Taco Bell. No one wants to say where it was, and it doesn't matter. A gray-bearded character was standing in line for tacos with no shirt, and he was wearing a kilt. I mean, that's some great free entertainment right there. Yeah.

No kidding. You know he has nothing on under that kilt. Well, if he's going, that's traditional. Yep. He was apparently standing in line for a meal. and some other customer upped and called the dude a meth head. Now, first off, you've got to be a little nuts. Yourself to be calling that dude a derogatory name in the first place,

he's a shirtless man wearing a kilt at Taco Bell. That tells me this guy's dangerous. Yeah, I'd let him go ahead of me in line. I don't trust him behind me. Let's get him out of here. Get him his tacos and go. Get him his meal. Get him out of here as quickly.

You got to have a set of balls on you, or you got to be drunk or high, or I suppose maybe 16 or 17 years old to be crazy enough to call that dude a meth head. Shirtless dude wearing a kilt. So anyways, groundskeeper Willie, or whatever his name is from the Simpsons, the crazy guy. He flips it. It doesn't groundskeeper Willie wear a quilt? Yes, he does. The dude flips his lid.

Oh, no, he dumped the N-word on everybody. And then he goes on to say, I'm an effing electrician. I'll cut the power on this joint right now. he says. And if you watch the video, it looks like he got it done. A few seconds after he storms out the joint, looking like a complete tool with his no shirt

kilt combo. A few seconds after he left, the restaurant went dark. That's kind of awesome. With great power comes no power, apparently. A lot of electricians are checking in saying, hey, you know, we're not all meth heads. Leave us alone. No. Of course not.

We know this. Yeah, no one... But then again, other trades are saying sounds about right. Oh. Social media folks got cute with this video, of course. One said, They really thought they could challenge the god of lightning and come away unscathed? That's awesome. Someone else posted,

It's funny because the crowd thought he wouldn't do it. Then as soon as he did, they all went dead silent like, oh, damn, he really did that. I would have assumed that he was going to. go do it. I would take that man for his word. Whatever he's got going on. Yeah, I'm with you on that. I like this story because it reminds me of, I'm sure we've told this before. It's one of my all-time favorite stories around here. We had a real hothead engineer who I absolutely loved

slash was terrified of. One of my favorite people slash one of the most scary people I've ever met. And he had such a temper. He and he didn't care. He would go as far as it took to win any argument. And there was a guy here who had a bit of an ego, an on-air personality, and basically told the engineer, you're nothing, I'm everything. You could lead the station. Nobody would care. If I did, the station would crumble. And the engineer's like, oh, okay, we'll see about that. And he went to the back room and he pulled the power to the entire radio, which I think is some sort of federal offense. I mean, it's like a big deal. And he came back in studio and said, Okay, tell me again that I have no value around here.

I keep this place running. Go ahead. You and I are probably two of the only people that got along with this dude. Yeah. There's two engineers like that where we were the only guys that got along with. Right. That were very scary. The one you're directly referencing.

I mean, this guy was just a tornado of rage most days in the building. And he was not afraid, like you just described, to pull the plug on the whole friggin' works. Did not care. And how many times did we have to tell him? So he left for a while, and I was so happy when he came back. It was so great to see him.

Yeah. But he was here, you know, in a different day and age. The guy was so squirly. Yeah, I love him. But that's what we loved about him. Yeah, I absolutely love him. And when he came back, he still was late 1990s, thinking that's kind of how it was around here,

and we'd have to tell him, you can't say that kind of stuff. You can't yell that kind of thing around here. You can't make those jokes. Yeah. It's a little more corporate than it was back then. You've got to be careful. I remember when he caused the first radio show I was ever on was garbage.

And the dude I was working with, let's call him Donnie. Donnie and I were sitting in the basement doing some post-show prep for no good reason because the show sucked. But me and Donnie are sitting there. and Donnie had a conflict with this engineer that Josh is referencing. So engineer comes into the room and he and this Donnie guy starts screaming back and forth at each other over something. F-bomb this, F-bomb that, both of them at the top of their lungs. I'm just sitting there. I got the best seat in the house for this drama.

So they both kind of ran out of wind and the engineer walks out of the room. And my radio partner at the time, Donnie, is just beginning to catch his breath. and then the engineer comes back in the room. And he goes, hey, Donnie. And Donnie looks up and says, yeah. And the engineer goes, nice ratings. And Donnie, the dude I used to work with, that was the ultimate trigger to set that dude off nuclear,

is to attack the radio show. You could call him personal names. You're fat, you're ugly, you're stupid. and he could handle it. If you attacked his little beloved radio show, I mean, to see the smoke coming out of Donnie's ears when that engineer said, hey, nice ratings. Oh, God.

And he was right. I had to bite my lip, not to laugh my balls on. Because the show sucked. I was the only one who knew it, but that show blew. It had no chance. I wasn't there. I wish I was. I wish it would have seen that, but I can picture it.

I can picture how he said it. I can picture the look on his face everything. God, dang, that was beautiful. Anyway, you had to be there. Before we go, here's another grown person who's struggling to keep it together. Down south of here, don't you know? In the southern United States, a 68-year-old woman had to go off to jail. She was setting at her neighborhood roadhouse, and she started calling F1-911 over and over and over again,

because the bar wouldn't serve her Jurassic ass a jello shot. She asked for trouble, she effing got it. Diane is the name. she's over there at what they call the nowhere bar catchy name yeah i like that i like the sound of that the nowhere bar she called 911 three times asking for a cop to come on over to the bar and help her get her hands on a jello shot apparently the bar didn't want to sell her one first off what are you a stinking freshman in college on spring break in Daytona florida you're no you're 68 years

old what the hell are you still doing with a with a jello shot yeah never had a jello shot and i know i said the F word. Sorry, my temper got the better of me and I said the F word. Florida. And now I said it twice. Sometimes when that happened, it's happened like twice. The last two times, I'm like, wait, did you seriously say that F word? Did I miss that? What does a 68-year-old person want with a jello shot?

Trying to get a buzz going. Grow up for Christ's sake. All right, anyway, so after three calls, the cops finally sent an officer out to the bar to straighten this Diane idiot out. when the cop got there, Diane was sitting out front the joint. Diane told the cop that she wanted a ride home. No more jello shot? There was no chance she was getting a jello shot. The bar.

She tells the cop she wants to ride home. She says she has a medical condition that prevented her from walking home. The cop said, kiss my ass. I'm not giving you a ride home after you're pissing everyone off with your unnecessary 911 calls. The owner of the bar comes outside and told the cop that Diane is a morgue. on and she'd been kicked out of the joint many times. Here's the part where I'm sure Diane was really pleased with herself for starting all this nonsense. The cops searched her big fat purse and in there they found some grass and some other dope and

drugs and whatnot. So Diane went to jail. Ah, that didn't really work out. No. Is there, I mean, Dana, you mentioned to get a buzz on? Is there a full shot in a jello shot? They never really did much for me, you know, in terms of getting hammered. Yeah, I would have to.

They never did anything for anybody. No. You'd have to have, you said 30 of them? Oh, yeah. You need to sit down and basically eat a Thanksgiving helping of like a big jello bowl, I think, if you wanted to. That would be my assumption. I haven't had one. I hate them.

They're just, they're so sticky. And you get your mouth all sticky. They're stupid. You got to serve a little paper cup. You got to use your finger to kind of like get it loose. It's just pointless. Yeah, same with putting on a word. Same with pudding shots.

Like I don't like doing those, especially in public because I'm just, it just looks disgusting. It's stupid. That's why I said they're from 19-year-old freshmen's in college who were on spring break in Daytona. Let me tell you something. If my bro, Curtis, if he's listening right now, maybe he can text. A few years ago, we were at a Super Bowl party, and he drank. Curtis, if you're listening, tell me how many frigging jello shots did you drink? Because they were giving him away for free at the bar, right?

Jello shots, Super Bowl, jello shot. And just because Curtis loves whipped cream, he ate like 76 of them or something. And he still drove out of there. There's nothing in there. So maybe if he's listening, he can tell me it was this ungodly amount. And he was so upset with himself because like you were saying, Ashley, his fingers were sticking together. He had this film in his mouth for the rest of him. Of course, he didn't have to drink 76 of them.

But it's for kids. Yeah. You know, if I had a kid, Josh, I think I'd give him a jello shot every day that he came home from seventh grade. If I had a kid. Just teach him. Sports. On the 93 eggs half-assed morning. show. Hurdle into the dot

to says it's back for Hurdle. He scores Tomosh Hurdle. Vegas with 324 to go. Tomash is how you say the first day. I thought it was Tom Hurdle. It's not. Yes, it's weird. A lot of times with hockey players, it looks completely different than how it's

pronounced. I thought it was Joel Erickson. It's not. It's Jewel. Because he's a friggin' swede. This hurdle guy, I think he's Chuck LaSlovakian. Tomas. hurdle with a beautiful goal in game one of the Stanley Cup final final. That was a hell of a

hockey game. Wouldn't it be something if they could throw, you know, five, six, seven of these at us? Because that was a great hockey game. The winner, Las Vegas last damn night. Great Twins game last night, too. We'll tell you all about that here shortly when Dinkas and other Dinkas stop by at 730. Randy Schaber and Brad Ryder. Game one of the NBA final final tonight. And you know, I'll likely ask Randy Shaver and Brad right of their predictions for the NBA final final series. But you know who's already, and we'll tell you more about this at 730, you know who's already made their predictions for the NBA final? Air Corgi. I like Air Corgi. Me too.

Air Corgi has made its picks. You lived with a couple corgis for a while. Yeah, you love them, don't you? I had a corgi once. It sure as hell wasn't going to play any basketball because it was in a wheelchair. Oh, no. Well, adapted basketball. It could have played some... Cookie was her name. She had a wheelchair.

Cup of Ducks. Yeah, Cucks, D-Ducs. I love that dog. I left the way she barked. It wasn't even a bark. It was like a bork. Is that what you called it? Yeah, she borked at us once or twice.

Yeah, you brought her in the studio. There was something wrong with her barker. I mean, you know, she got run over by a van or something and went through all this hell living on the street for a stretch of time before we got cooks to, ducks, so maybe someone pulled her barker out, but when she got real pissed off, she'd come off like this. She'd sound like this.

She'd go, oh, gawk, pork. That was cooks. That's got to be a bummer when you're trying to be intimidating. It comes out like that, all adorable. Yeah, I first met her. It was very early on after I met you guys. Oh, geez, I was only here for like a couple of months. And so I thought Nick was kind of more like a rougher on the edges.

I guess. Not a very lovey kind of person. But then I saw you help her go potty outside. I had to help cooks go potty. And I was like, oh, he has such a big heart. Look at this guy out here. You show me the toughest some bitch in town. You put a corgi in a wheelchair in front of them. It'll change you. Sometimes I had to squeeze her little tummy to get her to go potty. He had to wipe. So adorable. What's that? Didn't you have to wipe? Sometimes I had to wipe her little privates. Yep. Because she couldn't bend down. there and you know clean herself yeah that's how cooks was wired up um before we go uh we had a story

in the stupid news that brought up the question it brought up the question uh are electricians all meth heads and we know that's not true but there were some people kind of teasing back and forth on the text machine calling electricians meth heads uh josh did we tell this joke yet someone texted in and it says now not every electrician is a meth head but have yet to meet a meth head that didn't know where the copper was. That's a good point. Walk through St. Paul, you'll see it. Cubby's got some more news for you here in a couple of minutes.

93. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at standard heating and air conditioning come into play.

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benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-L-K-E-L-E-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law. And it spells relief for you. This isn't your average podcast. You like party? This is full send. Join the party. So you guys launched the Nelkelove Island. Congratulations, boys. Who's that? Production, dude. Like five years ago, we could do that easily and it'd be crazy. when we're partying, but when you're like in your 30s a little bit.

Well, that's why you barely show up to set, day two. Just a few hours, tardy. Steinie wanted to be the host to. It's like, why didn't you let me be the host? It's like, bro, you showed up six hours late every day. I had a girlfriend. The Full Send podcast, follow and listen on your favorite platform. The 93X half-assed morning show.

They got their heads up their ass. On 93X. Put that much of that bus inside that building. There's been no fatalities. That's a blessing. Three children and a bus driver had to go to the hospital with some minor. injuries after a school bus crash into a building on the campus of Hamlin University and St. Paul yesterday. My God. University officials say the crash happened about 2.10 p.m. at the Robin Science Center

near the intersection of Snelling Avenue North and Hewitt Avenue. He jumped the curb right in front of me and just beeline across here and he just started hitting stuff like the light pole, the siren over there. He wiped that out and he came through here doing maybe, I'd say, 45 miles an hour and just hit the wall According to the muscular and handsome St. Paul Police Department, about 12 children were on board when the bus slammed into that building. Three students were taken to children's to be evaluated for minor injuries. The bus driver also suffered minor injuries and was transported to regions. What caused them to lose the handle on that pig? Well, they haven't given out a lot of info.

The company that owns the bus said the bus passed its annual Department of Transportation inspection, so they don't think there's an issue with the bus. They said preliminary findings indicate the driver who is new to the company. He mistakenly, or he or she, mistakenly pressed the accelerator instead of the brake. Oh, it can happen. There's a big difference between the two. Yeah, the car operates in completely different ways, as a matter of fact. Yeah, a friend of mine's mom did that and crashed into the side of a Chipotle once. Out of anger, her and my friend were arguing, and she frustratingly slammed on the brake, but it was the gas pedal.

Oh, no. Yeah. They're so friggin' close to each other. They are. Why are they so close? They're so close. A man who fled state troopers on a motorcycle was hospitalized with serious injuries after a high-speed pursuit ended in a crash in St. Paul. According to the Minnesota State Patrol,

the trooper attempted to stop the motorcycle for speeding just before 6 a.m. yesterday on eastbound interstate 494 near Highway 100 in Bloomington. But instead of pulling over, the rider took off. Troopers followed that motorcycle as the pursuit strutely. to the East Metro during the morning commute. In fact, a number of texters were keeping us updated as the chase unfolded, letting us know where they were, seeing that motorcycle and squad cars in real time. I'm sure you guys saw those too.

The chase eventually headed west on Cayuga Street from Interstate 35E, where a car at an intersection struck the motorcycle, throwing the rider off the bike. The driver of the car fled the scene, they said, leaving the 32-year-old motorcyclist suffering serious injuries. Well, they get to work. Oh. Oh, duh, yeah. I don't know what the situation was.

The biker was taken to a hospital for treatment. It's on clear. Excuse me, and is under arrest for fleeing police and being a felon in possession of a gun. Why is he got to start all that trouble? Yeah, it sounds like he knew he was going to get in some trouble if he got pulled over. State troopers continue to investigate the pursuit and crash. No other injuries were reported. Glad it didn't end worse.

I mean, when people were texting in, that kind of was responding back. Like, you know, I pray that nothing terrible happens here. No innocent people are hurt or. cops are this motorcyclist, but... You ever pray for me? All the time. Yeah. I appreciate that.

Absolutely. You're part of them every day. A man arrested, truthfully, a man arrested Sunday after fleeing a routine traffic stop. You ever pray for bad things? Whoa. You can tell me. Never once. Never once.

You can tell me if you pray for bad things. There's been times I've been concerned and I pray, please don't let her be pregnant. Please don't let her be pregnant. She looks rid of her. with STDs. Please still let Nick get an STD. Oh my God. Many, many times. That's been a part of my prayer. A man arrested, let him kiss

me just one. A man arrested Sunday after fleeing a routine traffic stop offered deputies an unusual explanation for his actions. It was unusual. It was very unusual. He insisted he's not running from the cops. He was simply taking the family off-roading. Thinking

police would believe his excuse, but he was way wrong as it turns out being Wayrong is fitting for the 28-year-old because his last name is pronounced Wayrong. Florida deputies attempted to stop Thomas Wayrong after observing him traveling without a seatbelt or visible license plate. Instead of pulling over, authorities say the driver of the Jeep Grand Cherokee chose the woodland route, hitting the gas and fleeing into a wooded area. Videos posted to Facebook by the Lee County Sheriff's Office shows a drone keeping a watchful eye on the wandering Jeep from above.

as Way Wrong went the wrong way, the drone operator relayed his movements to deputies on the ground, turning the family off-road outing into an airily assisted game of hide-and-seek. But that hiding didn't last long. So he did have like his wife and kids in the car? His kids, for sure. Hilarious. I don't remember a wife. What a dopey excuse.

Yeah, nobody bought it. When deputies finally caught up with them, they reported, he claimed he was simply off-roading with his family, and he, quote, had no idea he was done. being pulled over. They had that drone equipment flying in the air and we're like, my gosh, what's happening? Somebody's deputies running away. Given that a drone was tracking him from the sky and cops were tracking him from the ground,

deputies weren't buying that explanation. You ran from the deputy. No, I did not. When? When? The deputy tried to stop you. When? You ran from? Like within a half an hour ago, they got you on the drone and everything. Bro, I didn't even do it. Three children in the car where he's okay. That's crazy. Where you're going to deal? For what?

Clean a loo. Are you serious? Yeah, 100%. For what? I love that Are you serious. question. Comes up every time. Sheriff Carmine Marcino said attempting to flee from law enforcement puts everyone involved in danger, including innocent passengers. Trying something small and see something big, which you could have they stopped easily. Just pull over and get the ticket. Like, you're endangering kids and the future, too much. According to the sheriff's office, three young children under the age of five were inside that vehicle when Wayron was arrested. Oh, my friend, you just turned

a simple ticket into a felony. To endanger your own kids, you put it just to the L and it could have made us a ticket. The Lee County Sheriff's Office arrested and charged him with fleeing and alluding law enforcement and child neglect. That guy's silly. I thought we were all off-roading. When? When was I eluding? Like just now?

Oh, you mean just, oh, no, no. I was some of these guys, I mean, write down an excuse maybe. Keep it in your pocket. Right down a good one for future use because some of these that you come up with on the fly are terrible. A Florida woman who was asked to drive more carefully through a drive-thru lane, graciously accepted that feedback, reflected on her choices, and used the experience as an opportunity for personal growth. At least that's the version that would restore a little faith in humanity.

In reality, however, that's not how this one went. Did she poop in her hand? Nope, she didn't poop in her hand. Quickly there, I was picturing someone pooping in their hand. Yeah, no feces going on here. Instead, the Florida woman who was asked to drive more carefully through the drive through lane took the feedback about as well as you might expect in 2026 by trying to run over the person who gave it. 32-year-old Amber Collier tried to hit another car after a customer told her she

should drive more carefully when she went the wrong way through a Raising Canes drive-thru about 145 p.m. Sunday near Miami. Before the confrontation, she'd already been driving recklessly through the restaurant parking lot. As she headed the wrong way through the drive-thru, she nearly collided with the victim's vehicle. The victim followed her to a stop sign and offered a simple suggestion. Drive more carefully, which he apparently interpreted as a declaration of war. She responded by making a U-turn and driving

directly at the victim while screaming. Bad word coming up here. You're a rapist and a C-word. I'm going to kill you. A rapist? She didn't even know this lady, but she's intuitive. She just picked like the two worst things she could think of, I guess. Terrible names to call someone.

Wow. Are girls allowed to call an another girl, a C word? Yeah. Okay, so that's okay. Well, it's still like... I know I should never say it. It's still like more aggressive than other words, but yeah, you can do it.

Fortunately for the victim, she hit a curb instead of the vehicle she was naming for, but the encounter still wasn't over. A passenger in the victim's car got out, and she once again drove toward the group. This time, she ended up striking a woman in the arm as she passed by. She then left the parking lot, but not before collecting one more collision by hitting a ram truck suite that was exiting the restaurant. She kept driving until she was pulled over about 10 miles away. Ah, it doesn't make any friggin' sense at all.

Nope, she's a bit of a hothead. A San Antonio police officer was definitely suspended indefinitely. After record show, he repeatedly decided the rules of being a cop didn't apply to him. Officer Taylor Sanchez was disciplined multiple times over a series of incidents dating back to last September. records show he was caught driving far above the speed limit at least five times during a single shift and continued the pattern in the days that followed. In one incident, Sanchez hit 98 in a 65-mile-per-hour zone while responding to a call, despite not being authorized to drive that fast.

During another response, records show he topped 100 miles per hour in a 65, reaching speeds as high as 118, showing the same disregard for public safety as Shia LaBouf has shown his liver. Files also accused Sanchez of repeatedly blowing through stop signs at red lights, and at one point driving the wrong way down a one-way street. Then later that month, investigators said Sanchez failed to upload more than 30 clips from his body camera after seven separate shifts. Authorities aren't saying Sanchez is dirty,

but they do say he has a pattern of not following the rules. In fact, department records show that Sanchez was indefinitely suspended twice. It's unclear whether his law enforcement. career will continue, but there's growing belief that, much like Shia Labouf getting asked to be the designated driver, the odds aren't great. In fact, one suspension notice states, quote, his actions render his continued employment detrimental to effective law enforcement. Yeah, I'd say so. What's going on between you and Shia LaBoof all of a sudden? I was catching strays.

We've got beef. Do you? Yeah. Last week, it was between me and Kim Kardashian, you might remember? Yeah. Today it's me and Shia Lerner. I googled to see if he was in the news and I. miss something.

This story was actually from a while ago. I was sitting on it. But yeah, when he had some of those issues. I didn't know you guys had problems. Yeah, it goes back a long way. I didn't know he had issues. I just know him from holes and Transformers, right? He's in that, and that's about it. Yeah, he can chuck out

his Wikipedia. He's done some things. He was in Furry. Is it going to make me sad? I don't want to be sad. I want to think, I want to remember him as being good. Did you ever watch Furry? I watched Furry. I liked furry. Me too. Yeah, it was good. Did you ever see Furry Road? A little bit of it.

Oh, yeah, that was good. I only saw about half of Mad Max Furry Road. Yeah, that was good. Now streaming on Netflix, the three-part docu series, Michael Jackson, the verdict, which takes a look at the pop superstar's 2003 child molestation trial and the media frenzy that surrounded it. By the way, a friend of mine told me I got to go out and see that new movie about Mike Jackson. I think it's just called Mike.

Michael. Michael? Mm-hmm. A friend of mine said you've got to go. out and see that one. Our boss saw it and said he didn't like it too much. He did not like it. What did your friend say

about it? That it was wonderful. And I didn't know this, according to my friend. That's Jermaine Jackson, Michael's brother. So this will be Mike's nephew that plays the role of Mike? Yeah. I did not know that. You did too. We talked

about it. It kind of hurts my feelings that you forgot. But yeah, that's his nephew in there. And he looked, I mean, from the trailer, it looks like he captured the image pretty good. There are hurt feelings? A little, a little bit. That's going in the diary. This is going in the prayers and the diary. Because I like that, I like what Mike did in his early days.

Talented guy. We all know things got a little iffy there towards the end, didn't they? There was certainly some allegations and they cover them here, featuring interviews with jurors, witnesses, and attorneys from both sides. The documentary takes viewers inside one of the most closely-wisely-wisers. celebrity trials in history. They said it examines the case from multiple perspectives while also exploring the legal controversies and lingering questions,

which continue to follow Jackson Long after his death in 2009. Again, that's on Netflix, three-parter there that came out today. If I'm on the Soft Rock channel, Josh, and she's out of my life comes up, I stay with it till the bitter end. There's quite a few. Quite a few.

To the bitter end. Yeah, that was one of the first, records we ever had as kids. Off the wall? Sorry, Thriller. I met a Michael Jackson record. Oh. Passing along.

You got a favorite from Thriller? I got a favorite from the record Thriller. It's probably not the one you'd expect. Well, I want to hear yours first. Well, I mean, I loved Thriller because the video scared me as a young person. I like that whole album, but... I go with human nature. Oh, that's a good one?

I think that's one of the most unique and well-put-together songs Mike ever made. Yeah, that's a great song. passing along some brother and sisterhood good vibes today to waka waka jesus and his fiancee their 10-year-old good boy swagger is as he put it taking his last nap today i'm sorry many of us have been there we know how hard that is so our thoughts with you guys three kids two dogs one wife jesus text the luther kea bloomington text line to wish his now 12-year-old daughter live aka toots a very happy birthday and great last day of school before she heads to Germany for a week with mom.

That sounds fun. And that's 93X News. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder on the half-ass morning show. Hurdle. Into the dot. It says it's back for Erdle. He scores. Tomush Hurdle.

Then it's 5'4 Vegas with 3.24 to go. Damn, son. The Stanley Cup final is off to a terrific start. I wonder what the ass man and the lonely boy made a last night's hockey game. Hello. I also wonder. I wonder what the ass man and the lonely boy would make of last night's hockey game.

I thought it was fantastic. Hello. What's happening? Hello. Randy thought it was fantastic. It's fantastic. Brad, did you see last night's hockey game? It was game one of the state.

Did you see it? I saw parts of it. I didn't see the whole thing. I also, yeah, go ahead. That pass that set up the winning goal. Beautiful. Unbelievable. Maybe one of the best passes I've seen.

That third period was so much fun. I mean, it was tied 3-3 going in, and that pass was, I mean, I actually shouted from my seat. What a great pass, because, I mean, I don't think Carolina expected or even thought that guy was. going to make that pass like that. That was one hell of a given go. It was. Everybody in their mama's coming off with the mouth talking about what a fantastic hockey game

the North Carolina and Las Vegas clubs played last night. Vegas is just getting it done. They look like that club that refuses to lose. That's the vibe they give off. Yeah. And you're damn right. A beautiful game-winning goal scored by Las Vegas with only a few minutes left.

You heard the audio, just a beautiful behind the back pass, give and go, right to the tape. I think it was Cisans. Is it Cisans that made the pass? Sisons, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Incredible. Tomash Hurdle gets the game winner, and he put a perfect shot past North Carolina's goaltender, old Fred Anderson. So the Golden Knights take game won by a final of five to four.

I mean, midway through the opening period. Vegas was down two goals. playing on the road in front of a hammered North Carolina home crowd, but the nights they held it together, came back. We hear that all the time, right? You just have to withstand the first, we hear that in the NBA finals or NBA playoffs. You just have to withstand the first couple of minutes

if you're a road team in somebody else's building in the first game of the playoffs. It just feels like you're going to be overwhelmed just by the atmosphere of everything. And you're right, they just hung in there. They didn't get rattled. And they haven't been rattled. Their entire playoff series, they have not been rattled by anything.

Well, we talked about it the other day, too, a little bit. That team's got a lot of people on it who won a cup with them a few years ago. A lot of veterans. And a lot of those guys, you know, I know we make fun of this, too, a little bit. But as they go through the long regular season, sometimes veteran teams, get, you know, a little bored for a few weeks, and maybe they don't rack up the points that Colorado did, but that team looks

obviously just as good or obviously better than anybody else in the West. So, yeah. After the hockey game, Vegas head coach, John Tortorella, he said it's a find-away league. Yeah. And we found a way

tonight. So last night made it seven straight wins for Las Vegas in this year's tournament. But both clubs put on a great show. The hurricanes are tough. You know, they scored a solid goal. I don't know, eight, nine minutes left to tie the game. Hopefully the series keeps this pace up. It was really good

stuff. I saw a stat last night. The team that wins game one of the Stanley Cup finals goes on to win the series 76% of the time. Dude. So if that holds true, Vegas will likely win this series. But

I hope it goes seven games. I just think it's two really good teams, very fast play. They had some turnover issues last night. Both of them did in turning the puck over and then having the other team score. So they both have things to clean up too. Deep clubs. They go four lines. Deep clubs.

It ought to be good. I mean, you have to be when you get to this point, right? Yeah. I mean, you can't be anything other than a team that's got some experience playing in games like, now we'll see tonight in the NBA, you've got San Antonio, who's got very limited playoff experience. But obviously basketball hockey, two very different things when it comes to having experience and the depth that you have to have too.

We'll get to that. Sticking with hockey here for a few minutes. According to a website called The Big Lead, these are the seven best individual performances in Stanley Cup final history. Yin the history, the seven best individual performances. I'm going to lose you on some of this, I know, but I'm going to go. What? Us? I'm going to go ahead anyway. I am.

State of hockey. Patrick Waugh, 19 and 93. back when he was playing goaltender for the damned Montreal Canadians in that final series against the Los Angeles Kings. The Kings, of course, had Wayne Gretzky, and Patrick Waugh put on a hell of a show. I mean, the Canadians were outshot in three of the five games in the series, is how you say it. But Patrick Waugh was the difference. Mario Lemieux, disgustingly, added. into this conversation is Mario Lemieux's performance against the Minnesota North Stars in 1991.

Now, the big lead totally gonged showed this article. They talk about Mario Lemieux's five-point performance in game two. That is inaccurate. I was there. Mario had a five-point for performance in game six, not game two. But they talk about that zig-zag goal. He scored on Sean Chambers in the 91 series. Yeah, Lemieux was just beginning to become an all-time great in that series against the North Stars in 91. As a matter of fact, we talked a little bit about that

series, Randy Shaver, at your golf tournament a couple days ago with Gordy Roberts. Sure. Gordy Roberts says to my Legion buddies, he says, you know, see you guys are North Star fans, and the boys all said, well, absolutely. And Gordy says, remember 1991?

And my buddy, Big Al, says, Christ, we are at every frigging game in the 91 playoff series. And Gordy Roberts says, do you remember who was wearing number 28 for the penguins in that series? Well, the answer is Gordy Roberts. So we tried to rub it in a little bit. All right, more of these great individual performances. Mark Messier, game seven of the 94 series against the Vancouver Canucks. Boy, I hated that Rangers team so much.

Oh, I hated the Rangers. I wanted Vancouver to win that series so badly. I made a scene at a bar one night, Josh, during the 94 Stanley Cup series. I made a scene. I mean, how bad. I was swearing and cursing and going on and on about how much I hated the Rangers. And a mother had to come over and tell me to keep it down. She was having dinner with her kids.

Sir, this is a Chucky Cheese. We need you to calm down. And please put your shirt back on. It was actually at the old... It's hard to imagine. It was at the old sunsets in Wisetta. Oh, I remember that place. I lost my gourd during the 94 Stanley Cup final,

and a mother had to come and straighten me out. Patty Cakes in 2010, game six, when the Blackhawks beat the Flyers in the series that year. Patty Cakes was scoring all the big goals for the Blackhawks. Tim Thomas, 2011 playing goaltender for the Boston Bruins against the Vancouver Canucks. Wayne Gretzky in 85 had two four-point games in that series. games 3 and 5 also against the Flyers and Bobby Orr in 1970.

And to go back to Gordy Roberts again, we bothered him a lot on the golf course about his days on the ice for the North Stars and a few other clubs, including the 91 penguins who beat the North Stars. But one of us said, somebody's packing for a trip. Yeah, what's going on? What is that? I heard that too. So none of you are zipping up suitcases in the background?

Bradges zipped up his gimp costume. No, I, no, I wish. I mean, really, honestly, you're both claiming innocence on this? Yeah, no, I heard that too, but I didn't know what that was. Well, how in the hell? There's no one here doing anything. I don't know. Do we have, like, someone listening on a phantom line listening in the background?

Are we on a party line today? Are they packing for a trip to Mazatlan? All right, that was me. You know, a guy tries to talk a little hockey history. It always goes wrong. It always does. Either you don't care, you don't know what I'm talking about, or as Dana said, there's a gimp convention going on,

and you can hear the mouth zippers going back. You may. So no one heard that? I've never attended a gimp convention before. Well, you belong there. Okay. You might see some of the other. that thing at the end of the month or maybe some gims there.

Let's see what kind of distractions can happen during this conversation. Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman, Zach Rorensky won the Norris trophy for the NHL's top all-around defenseman. Was our guy in the top three voting? No. No, we covered that. He wasn't in the top three? No.

You're talking about weird Quinn. No, he wasn't in the top three finalists. He wasn't one of the finals. No. Josh. That wasn't me. What are you doing? Fleshing the evidence.

Really, honestly, I'm a little weirded out. That was. Where were those sounds coming from? Brad, are you being honest with us? You're not packing a bag. No, I am. I am being completely honest. Oh, you are?

No, I am being completely honest. Ashley. Ashley's not in the room. She's milking or something in the other room. All the noises that have come across my phone over the years, I would be honest with you. That was a very definitive zipper sound. That was. The first one

sounded like a creaky chair. The second one was very zippering the corner. You could even hear like it turning the corner like V-v-v-v-v-Zach. Zach Warensky won the Norris trophy. He beat out Kael McCarr of the avalanche and

Rasmus Dahlene, the Buffalo. Yeah, we talk about this how it was kind of a surprise to some people that weird Quinn Hughes did not make that final three. Former NHL player, Sean Avery. This guy's always been a little different. He seems like he gets kind of cranky, doesn't it?

He just seems like he ain't all there when he was a player. Since he retired, every once in a while, he pops up in a story, and it's just weird stuff. This is the weirdest I've heard from Sean Avery. Apparently, he's in some kind of a battle with a, quote, crazy neighbor. He lives in L.A. he's got a model wife he claims he's acting these days I haven't seen anything with Sean Avery

He was in Shorzy Never saw it As a regular Yeah you did like a couple episodes in season four I believe it was So here's the story Sean Avery claims that not only did his neighbor Open fire on him

But he also says His neighbor tried to frame him by ordering him a couple of hookers. No, I didn't order them myself being framed. The LA cops have been involved in this. There's an investigation. So I didn't get a chance to really thoroughly edit this story. I was just able to skim through it real quick.

But so the story goes, Sean Avery's having some work done at his house. He's got some kind of contractor over there building a deck. Sean Avery's neighbor doesn't like all the noises happening with the deck build. So at one point or another, Sean Avery claims his neighbor comes out and shoots the tires out of the contractor's pickup truck. And then the story at least says that in order to distract the police from investigating that pickup truck shooting, the neighbor orders Sean Avery a couple of hookers to get Avery in trouble. trouble. And smoke screen the investigation. I've never heard anything like that before in my life.

No, that's a new one. Everything about us weird, because then he tells the cops, Avery tells the cops, yeah, I've had so many issues with this guy. We've called the cops plenty of times. The cops have come out, and the cops looked it up and said, no, you haven't. None of that's happened. Right. And then they brought up a video from a few years ago where he was threatening young people that were parking in the neighborhood. Avery, you mean, not the neighbor. Right. Josh is right.

The police have found no indication of any threats or past issues between Avery and this neighbor. But Avery claims, oh, God, it's happening all the time, you know. It sounds like one of those stories where there's one side and there's another side, and the truth is somewhere in between. Yeah. I bet you're right about that, Bradrider. But yeah, four years ago, there was video going around of Sean Avery in a clash with teenage kids in his neighborhood.

They were riding their bicycles around his house and they were also a couple of them were driving cars and Sean Avery was threatening to break their windshield wipers off and then a dad walked up and said, what are you doing talking to little kids like that? And Sean Avery

says, why don't you go ahead and fight me? It's just really bizarre stuff. I was wondering if he was going to swing through. He knew he'd be there. Guns, shots and smoke screen hookers, Cubby. Starting to side with the neighbor a little bit more on this one, the more I hear. Here's a direct quote from Sean Avery.

He called two hookers to try to frame me. He sent two hookers up to the house for me. If that part of the story's true, that's pretty darn funny. Dude. He had that much anger where he ordered prostitutes to frame him. I always thought that dude was so odd. from the get-go. He's always just seemed very angry to me.

Was he the guy who made the sloppy seconds comment to the national hockey media in the locker room one night? Do you remember that? It kind of rings a bell. I think that was Avery when he was a player. But let's try to find that. So just for now, just my memory is that it was Sean Avery. He's in the locker room.

I think he was playing for Dallas at the time. and someone asked him a question about Calgary Flames defenseman by the name of Dion Funnuf. And I believe the situation was Dion Funnuf was dating. Oh, she's a famous actress. Maybe he even married her. She was in the girl next door. What's her name? Gorgeous blonde.

Alicia Dushku or something? No, no, blonde. The girl next door. She dated a lot of hockey players. Yes, that's where I'm going with this. Cufford. That's right. I believe that for a stretch of time, Avery was dating Alicia Cuthbert, right?

She dumps him and she goes on to marry. Again, my memory is she married Dionne Feneuve. So someone put up Mike in Avery's face and asked him about Deon Fonuf. And he said something about, I don't make comments about players who are currently enjoying my sloppy seconds, he says. Yeah, the quote was, I'm really happy to be back in Calgary. I love Canada. but I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. What are you an eighth grader?

What grown man talks like that? That's what I'm talking about. The guy's been odd from the get-go. Sloppy seconds. Did anyone hear that set out loud outside of junior high? No. Not since high school. And he says this with an ESPN mic in his face, and he acted like he was making some grand statement.

I like that the end of the quote, so after the sloppy seconds thing he finishes off with, I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight. Okay, dude. Yeah. This might be it. I'm really happy to be back in Calgary. I love Canada. I just wanted to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds.

I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight. What an idiot. His face is so good. I mean, he plays it kind of perfectly with the face. Like, I just don't understand type of face. He kind of smiles towards the end. So that's why I'm not 100% buying this. The neighbor took shots at me and bought me some hookers story.

Yeah, I'm squarely on the neighbor's side now. Yeah. This is fun. Now, St. Paul Jesus texted in. He said, Sean Avery, when he was a rookie, thought he could talk trash to Joe Sackick in one of his first game. Okay. Rookie.

Apparently, Brett Hull pulled them aside and said, that's Mr. Joe Sackick. You don't talk trash to Mr. Joe Sackick. Come on. And if anyone remembers Joe Sackick, he never got involved in any shenanigans ever. If you're going to talk trash to someone, pick one of the cement heads on the opposite team.

Why are you talking trash at Joe Sackick, who I think might go down in history is like one of the nicest guys to ever play the game. It just goes to show you. I think the guy's squirrely. Here it is right here. Jiu-Jitsu Jesus, great point. He says, Sean Avery talks like Quinn Hughes looks.

All right, you mentioned it already. Oh, it says here, another people see, sometimes I'm going to get these hockey conversations going. Our listeners know a lot. They do, and they add a lot to the mix. I appreciate it. someone dodging human turds Jesus says that at one point in his career Sean Avery decided to call Martan Brodoer Fatso

I mean come on the guy comes off like he's 13 all right here we go NBA final finals game one begins tonight sometime after 7 o'clock on A to the BC series starts in Texas Knicks Spurs So here it is, boys. Make your predictions now. Well, I know Brad wants the Knicks to win. Well, Brad also thinks they will win.

I think the Knicks will win. I do. I think San Antonio won. Okay. I'm not going to die on a hill on it, though. I mean, I think it's going to be a long series. I don't think it's going to be a sweep, but I think the Knicks will win. I mean, the Knicks have been tearing everyone's souls apart.

They have. just been winning basketball games. They've been devastating teams. Yeah, but they've had a long layoff here now, too. So game one, they might be a little rusty. So that I think will affect them a little bit. The first two games you're in San Antonio. You know that place is going to go be bonkers tonight. I think it'll be nothing compared Madison Square Garden in game three. Oh, my gosh. I agree. But two really good basketball teams. I mean, there's just so many interesting you know

stories inside the big story I mean you know just how will who will guard Wembe Nama on a regular basis from the next because it's not going to be towns

he's not going to guard him on a regular basis so who's going to be that person that's going to try and slow him down how will those two big guards actually the three guards for San Antonio

how will they do against you know Brunson, who a lot of teams took advantage of defensively, how will the Knicks stop those three guards? And then counter that, I mean, Brunson and that starting five for New York has a ton of experience, and they're all, they all play their parts really well. They run a great offense. They play their parts well.

I think the real story to me is going to be, can the Knicks bench, provide enough to get them past San Antonio. Because I think the Spurs bench is pretty good. Cornett is a great player off the bench, Harper off the bench, Kelden Johnson off the bench. I think San Antonio has the advantage. So the next are going to have to be. You guys maybe talked about this, but Cornett saved that game with that block in game seven.

I don't know if you guys saw that or not. But that was amazing play. Everybody saw that. That cornet guy, he's especially impressive when you consider the fact that every night he sleeps under a garbage truck. At least that's what his appearance tells me. Just for fun the other day I looked there. A couple days ago, I looked up to see what the get-in price at Madison Square Garden was for game three. Have you guys looked this up?

It's thousands of dollars. 12 grand. 12 grand just to get in the I mean that's upper deck nosebleeds that's ridiculous isn't it something to to know that with four victories in the series Carl Anthony towns could be a world champion yeah I'd love it yeah I wonder uh I don't think anybody here would be upset with that no I think a lot people room for no yeah I think yeah I mean kind of the same way with Andrew Wiggins a few years ago when he was a part of the Warriors and he won that ring too okay I'm glad you brought that up you because there's this image that's been passed around and shows a picture. Kevin Garnett as a wolf traded. Year later, it wins a title. Kevin Love traded to the Cavs. Two years later, it wins the title.

And then they show how this could possibly be happy with Carl. But they added Wiggins in there, too. I'm like, all right, one of those things is not quite like the others. Yeah, I wasn't so much of a Wiggins fan. Yeah, I don't think people were heartbroken when they lost the guy. No. No, I know, but he had a big piece on that team, if you look back that year. He played really, really well for that team that year.

A few of my buddies were horsing around at the bar the other night. They were looking up, you know, how social media makes pretty good fun of Carl with the way he talks. And a few of my friends were looking up those videos, and they are kind of funny. Here's this big giant athlete, and he just doesn't sound like that when he talks, especially when he gets excited. Yes. So my friends were watching these videos of Carl.

I think he was like playing video games or something It's one of these Well you know There are videos out there You can just watch someone play video games Yeah Twitch stream And like Carl is playing video games And he's getting beat and he says

Oh my God Yeah that's a big meme Oh my god I can't believe that oh LOL That's just how he talks That one gets made fun of a lot of He's a 10 year old in an adult's body I can testify to that

Yeah He could be a world champion Oh, so you guys have made your predictions. Randy says San Antonio. Brad Ryder says to New York Knickerbockers. We mentioned this earlier. What do you say? Oh, I don't.

I don't know. Oh, just pick one. Well, yeah, I think. God. I was really torturing. We know who you don't want to win. Right. You know you're sick of the Spurs.

Yeah, yeah. How can you be sick of the Spurs already? They haven't done anything. Yeah, but I'm already sick. of them. Specifically, when be yamba. The rest of the players I do enjoy. Why? We already covered this already. It's not his fault.

He's such a generational player. Oh, yeah. Doesn't mean you have to enjoy them. No, it doesn't mean I have to enjoy them. I'll go along with Randy Shaver. I think the Spurs will win the series, but I'll be rooting for New York, which is tough for me to do. Then why not, if you don't really care, why not you just root for the Knicks then? I will be. Yes. You ask me who I'm predicting.

would win. I said, I think the spurs will win, but I'll be rooting for the Knicks. Didn't I just say that? Yeah, you did. Here's the thing. Randy Schaber, maybe this is the only way to make you understand why I'm tired of Victor when beyond. He's a generational. How do you say it? He's a generational play. I'm a generational character myself. Oh, my God. And maybe when you get two alphas like that, when you get two alphas, they often don't get along. I get it.

It's like... Jordan and Kobe. Well, Josh could tell you. It's like, I don't know. The damn Yankees as a band, they didn't last too long because Tommy Shaw and Jack Blades. Yeah, they're button heads. Generational musicians.

Air Corgi has made her prediction for the NBA finals. Are you guys aware of Air Corgi? No. This is a corgi. And it sits at the top of a set of stairs. And at the bottom of the stairs, there are two baskets. One said nicks on it. One said Spurs.

And Air Corgi's been doing this for years. And then Air Corgi's owner throws Air Corgi a basketball, and she uses her nose to nudge the ball. And then whatever basket the ball falls in. So she predicted that the Spurs would win the series in seven. Everyone loves Air Corgi and her predictions. I don't know if the video is up on our website. But she's with us, Ranch.

She thinks it's going to be the Spurs. I think it's going to be one of those. I think seven games probably is the way it's going to fly. I have a hard time looking at these two teams and thinking one of them can win on the road in this series. I think Home Advantage is such a big thing for both these clubs. You guys here, I can get you guys fired up now, by God. This will fire you up.

A article I read today, three NBA teams that are one move away from being contenders. Okay. Those three teams, the Orlando Magics. Don't think that's true, but that's okay. The Houston Rocket. Nope, I don't think that's true either. And the last team they put on the list is the Minnesota Timberwoh. And here's what they say.

The Timberwolves have spent the last several seasons proving they're one of the best in the Western Conference. Anthony Edwards has developed into a superstar Minnesota's defense remains one of the toughest in the league. What the Timberwolves lack is an elite point guard who can run the ultimate. offense and take pressure off of Anthony Edwards. A player like John Morant would fit perfectly, the article says. Moran's ability to put pressure on the rim, create for teammates, and take control of the game would give Minnesota another offensive weapon to pair alongside Edwards. The combination could form a dangerous backcourt for years to come while pushing the Timberwolves into a true contender. Brat. Jaw Morant five years ago,

Six years ago, yeah. I would buy that, not now. Yeah, I don't agree with that either. Too much, too much baggage. Way too much baggage. Not only a baggage, but I think there's too much, there's too much of an offensive mentality with him, not to say that a point guard shouldn't have that,

but I think with Edward, Edwards right alongside of him, I think, I don't know. I don't think he's going to be willing to share the ball enough with Edwards. It's two alphas in the back court. Oh, now you agree with the two alphas. Now he gets it. You understand. Right.

I agree with every word said in that article. I would love to see John Morant coming in here. Boom, boom. He goes this way, Josh. He goes that way. He dunks it. No way. Yeah.

Which way did he go first? Left. Mm-hmm. And then? He went left again. Oh. Because you least expected it. He finished it with a dunk.

I think you're going to see the Rockets trade Singoon in the off-season. and to me I would move Grant before I would move Sangoon. I just don't think that's that's going to help them at all. You know,

the Rockets probably would, who was the player that missed the entire season, the guard for the Rockets? Oh, Fred. Fred. Van Vleet. Yes.

If he had played for them, probably would have been a different. His name really is Fred Van Blee. I was thinking, I thought you made a reference to something else. Oh, probably would have been a different outcome

for the way the Rockets played this year, postseason-wise. Yeah, he's a great player. They missed him a lot. What did you think, Danny? We were going back to Porn Star names or something like that, Fred Van Fleet? No, there's a, it's really nerdy. I'm not even going to bring it up. Oh.

All right. Up and down we go with the twins. The ass end of last week's road trip got ugly. Everybody's injured, but they come back home. They win two in a row over the White Sox. Up and down we go, Covey. when you dated that crazy gal, right? Up and down. One day they're all happy

and rubbing up on you, right? And then the next day they're coming at you with a road flare. It's like when you dated that crazy person. That's what the twins remind me of. Up and down. Well, they got to Davis Martin early last night. Coughed up six certain runs. Only a second loss of the year. Bullpen was fabulous. Twins struck out, what, 16 batters? Something like

that? 14, 16? So, I mean, the pitching did a great job last night. I watched a little bit of the game. I saw that the first time I'd seen that lefty, and I can't remember his name. Connor pre-lipped. Connor pre-lib. Yeah, he looked pretty good. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, the more experience he gets, the more opportunities they give him, I think the better he's going to be. This may not be the year, but you can see it coming next year the year after. If he keeps getting the experience that he's getting. So let's see, Tristan Gray and Lucie Kishal each drove in a couple of runs. New catcher in the mix, Alex Jackson. So Kishal, Gray, and Jackson batting seventh, eighth and ninth, each had two hits off this hot shot Martin.

That was Martin's shortest start of the season. I mean, he had allowed one run or no runs in seven of his last eight starts. He comes to the target field, and they thumped him pretty good. Brooks Lee, 11 RBI in his last 11 games. I don't think Royce is going to play third base when he comes back. If he comes back. Well, I think he'll come back. I think he's proving that he's figuring some things out.

But from what I keep reading, it looks like Brooks Lee's going to stay at third base, which means Royce is either going to be a DH or a first baseman. Right on. They could sweep the series with a win today. So what are we got today? Eric Fetty for Chicago, Taj Bradley for the Twins. Yeah, so what is it, the afternoon, what they used to call it, bankers game. Businessman special? Businessman special. There you go.

Getaway day. That's right. Oh. Yeah, a couple people now have texted in. They want to know Randy and Brad's favorite porn stars. Oh, yeah. I don't know if you guys are aware of this. We covered this earlier.

No, I wasn't aware. I'm glad I'm not. You're about to be. A porn convention is coming to town. They're calling it, what do they call it again? To the Twin Cities? Yes, the Twin Cities. Yes, sir.

The Exotic Expo. The Exotica. Expo. June 26th, I think, through the 28th at the Minneapolis Convention Center. I was made aware of this last night by a beer-drinking pal of mine. We didn't even, well, I guess we did hear about it at the radio station, and we all forgot. So all the biggest porn stars are going to be in town at this convention, selling their videos, and they're strokers and whatnot.

And listeners started texting in about their favorite all-time adult film stars, and now they're texting it again, our listing audience, and they want to know if you have a favorite. Either one. I don't have a favorite. Too hard to pick a favorite. Are you guys broadcasting live?

No, not right now. We might have a guess. If it would have happened to, I don't know, if it would have happened 15, 20 years ago, we certainly would be broadcasting live. But the Vibe has kind of changed around here, and also we don't have the equipment for it. We'd just be on her cell phones.

Figuredly and literally, right? So, so to speak. That took me a second, but nice. You don't think Cubby and I could still get geared up for those ladies? I don't know. Maybe for the next couple of years. You don't think we could get geared up proper, huh? I'd like to see you try.

How about that? You would not? Actually, I sure it would not like... I'd make a mess of that convention, I'd make a mess of that convention, son. Oh, man. What you came back to, Ashley. I'm so glad, I'm so glad.

Here we go. Here we go. Dana's in the background. Speaking of genitals, a University of Oklahoma baseball player has everybody... Well, dudes are cringing when watching this video. Women are probably laughing their asses off. Now, I even...

Cringed. University of Oklahoma baseball player brutally fouled a baseball off of his own nutbag the other day. I hope he had a cup on. Who knows these days, right? And it's become an internet sensation. This was at the college baseball regional championship. Regional. You know how they do that gimmick. This Oklahoma Sooner's first baseman, Dayton Taki, was batting. He hacked away at a pitch and he fouled that. baseball went straight into the ground and right up into his own sacola. Oh my gosh. The video is just terrific.

It's on 93X.com. Yeah. Just a wonderful video to watch. He finished his at bat. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, that's a bad one. Finished his at bat, ended up grounding into an out. But how he was able to accomplish this, I don't know, after his testicles were disintegrated in the sixth inning.

he won the game for Oklahoma with a walk-off dong in the bottom of the 10th inning. It's a terrific comeback story. Dead center field, no less. Yeah. The home run. Wow. Oh, man, did he bash his nuts into? Oh, he did.

Did you see Joe, the O'Dell outfielder for the Angels last night, Joe Adel? Just watched it. He did the Jose Kinseko. Oh, no. Off the Noggins for a home run. Son of a bitch, I hate myself. No, I had no idea. Oh, my gosh, you got to watch it.

All right. Yeah. I just saw that. That's funny. Off his glove, off his head. And for a minute there, they didn't realize what happened. That the ball had gone. It's one of those over the yellow line kind of things on the wall.

Right. So it took a while for them to figure it out. But, oh, man. All right, I got to find this. Clean shot right on the top of the noggin. If you check the email, it's in there. Oh, our email? Yeah.

Oh, how did I miss? Tribute to Jose Conceco. It's too bad that Janelle's not on today because she'd probably have a crush on him too. God, that was, was that 40 years ago? I would argue that the Conceco one was way more painful watching than this one. Oh, yeah. This was a miss off the glove. Yes.

The Conceco one was just a goat rode. was off his head. That was off the top of his head. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Easily 30 years ago. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Okay, I'm watching Adele. The ball slightly glanced off his glove. Hit him square in the forehead. Yeah. I'm sorry. I missed that originally.

That's a great video. Jose, yeah. There was more pain involved, I think, in Jose's. Much more hilarious than this one. Because he was such a buffoon. you know, Konseco. Or Joe Adele is like one of the best athletes in the entire friggin. I feel bad for O'Dell, Adele.

He doesn't deserve to be in the same conversation as Jose Canseco. God, that sucks. They're saying here, Nick, 33 years ago. 33. It's when the Konseco thing happened. Boy, I mean, and it looks like Adele had a nice line on this baseball. Yeah, I think he must have lost it in the lights or something. Who knows?

That video is up on 93X.com too now. You know, damn near hit him in the nose. You hit him right in the forehead. Poor guy. I forgot this, that Konseko was playing for Texas. He was. He was not an Oakland day. Okay.

And both dugouts had to take a knee. They were laughing so hard. He was such a colossal dork. He still is. I don't know what the hell Janelle saw in him. Or still seasoned him. Or still seasoned him. They still get together, yeah.

Yes. Yeah. She just can't get enough. All right, what else is going on? Oh, here we go. I keep getting more and more inflammation on this soccer tournament that's coming to town. How about this? Around 200 and, nope, that's not the number.

Around 2,300 British soccer dorks who just can't keep from wetting their little pants over soccer games in their home country. They've been banned from traveling to the United States or Canada or Mexico. for this silly World Cup tournament. These idiots have a track record of silly childish behavior at their English soccer games, so they're not invited to the World Cups. That's a hilariously large amount of people to be banned. How are you going to enforce that? No fly list, I'm sure.

Well, here's what I have, Brad Riders. These fans have been on the radar for years because of their behavior. They've been arrested up and down over and over again, right? So the police have their names and everything on record. They've been ordered to hand over their passports to the police, and they'll get them back when the tournament is over. That's funny. Yeah, that'll do it.

Yeah. They're getting fake IDs and moustaches. And we think fans here can be crazy at times. Well, they can. Nobody's never end up on a no-fly list, though. Yeah, exactly. For many years, I'd like to believe there was a difference between American sports fans and soccer fans in general. There really isn't that much of a gap anymore, which is sad.

We hear in America act almost as frigging stupid and reckless. I mean, come on. How many times a week do we have some story of dildo's fist fighting in the streets and dumping each other off the top of the hobby? Especially that. I used to believe that we were better than that. We're not anymore. But these boys have been told, yeah, you're, uh, you're staying home

Canada's aware of you the states, Mexico, they all know your name, you're not going. Canada's not even accepting you, just stay home, man. Oh, so there you go. How far away are we from that tournament, Dana?

It starts next Friday. Oh, my God. Are you on that list? Did you have turned in your passport? I've always behaved myself from the most part in soccer matches. Dana's not allowed out of Apple Valley. Oh, man. There's also, I guess, real quick before we go,

there's a fun video going around of a soccer player who got hit by the medical cart. This is one of my favorite videos. I've got to get some eyes on this. It's ridiculous. It's also on 93X.com. Everything's on 93X.com. This was in Ecuador or some type of a scene like that. Soccer player got run over by the medical cart that was already carrying one of his injuries.

teammates. Just put the Benny Hill music behind it. Yeah. Reminds me a madden back in the day when they would drive the ambulance onto the field and it would always hit and run over people. That was awesome. So some poor bastard goes down in the soccer game. Whether it was

legit or not, as anybody's guess, of course, because they're soccer players and they always act as if there was a sniper in the upper deck that you know. So who knows if this first guy was even legitimately injured, but they put them on the cart, they're driving the cart off the field. The other player, he's kind of not looking where he's going

and they smashed into him. God. Everybody had a good time with that. Oh, man. It's like a dent. The dent on the cart afterwards. F me running. So good. So good.

All right, you bastards. We will talk to you tomorrow. We'll talk about that NBA final, final game one, won't we, Randy Shaver? We certainly will. You guys have a good. one. See you. Air conditioning, the love of my life.

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That's B-I-A-L-K-E-L-K-E-L-A-L-L-K-L-K-L-K-L-A-L-L-T. And it spells relief for you. One Night with Stiney. Shout-Out-out, Full-Send, N-K, because it's just about me being myself. It's going to be chaotic. I can't guarantee anything. All I can guarantee is that you're going to be entertained.

I'm not join OVO. You can keep DMing Drake or keep paying. By the way, I like O'Neill. I know you DM Drake all the time. I know. I know you know that. You paid me $3,000 on Venmo one time to text him for you. Dude.

One night with Stiney. When I was signing, baby, let's go. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Half-Ast Morning Show. 93X. We continue on here on the Half-Ast Morning Show. We ain't done yet, not by a long shot. No, we are not.

We appreciate your company. Hell, without you, we're just four J. Browns in a broken radio studio. So they've done it again, Cubby. It's the 10th year now that this report has been thrown our way, and it's usually worth a laugh or two. Uber. The folks over there at Uber, they released their 10th annual

Lost and Found report. These are always pretty fun. Yeah. Where they document all the weird stuff that folks left behind in their rideshare vehicles. Sometimes it's so weird, I wonder if people are just looking to ditch something

and they think this is a good way to go. Get rid of some evidence? That could be, yeah. I don't want this anymore. You take it. Leave behind the incriminating evidence in the in the taxi cab. And hopefully it doesn't come back to haunt you at a later date. So these are all the weird items that folks have left behind in the cabs over the last year.

The most common things are boring. But we'll get that out of the way. The most common things that folks forgot in their Uber. cellular telephone, wallet, luggage, car keys, house keys to the camper, and the headphones. I've been lucky, you know, I took a lot of cab rides in my heavier drinking years. A lot of cab rides. Oh, I loved it too. And I did everything, everything from the suburban cab to the blue and white, to the Uber, to the who's the other folks, a lift?

I mean, I tried everybody and multiple times. I don't think I ever left anything behind. I normally aren't carrying anything with me other than the Keys wallet and the cell phone, maybe a can of snuff. Sunglasses? Not even sunglasses. And Josh knows, because we've known each other for 30 years, Josh knows that I've lost probably 145 pairs of sunglasses in our...

Dude, shame here. But never left them. I've been, I don't know, I've been good. Maybe the word is lucky because obviously I'm in that cab for a reason. I'm hammered. I actually, like, purposely do not buy sunglasses that are worth any money because of how often I... Like, I'm not going to buy over a $100 pair of sunglasses. It's just dumb.

I'm going to lose them in a week anyway. I've actually heard a theory that it should be the opposite, because if you buy an expensive pair of sunglasses, you hold on to those things. You make sure that you know where they are at all time. You'd think that was the case, Dana. But, like, I lose my phone and my wallet that literally, like, has my money in it all the time. And it doesn't help.

You'd think that the expensive shaves would motivate you to keep in a... No, that doesn't always work that way. So here we go. You're just believing big sunglasses. Yeah, gosh. I should buy the expensive ones. Yeah. The most unique items left behind in taxi cabs.

Hell, there's 50 on their list. What I have in front of me, I think I've got a good, oh, God, I got a good 25 of them. I got half of them. Apparently, I've got the best of the best. We'll see about that. An ankle monitor starts the list, an ankle monitor. That's smart. To my theory that nobody, that was not an accident.

No. And they're chasing the Uber around, you know. Oh, yeah. I like that idea. And you stuff it underneath the seat or something, too, so the guy doesn't realize it's in there until he gets pulled over. You put it in that magazine pocket on the back seat maybe. You shove it under the 420 donuts were left behind in an Uber.

Happy holidays, I'm guessing. There's a weed joke in there somewhere as if you want it. Yeah. 420 donuts. If you're going somewhere with 420,000. Donuts, I imagine, you know, it's your responsibility to bring those to wherever they were headed. It'd be kind of hard to forget them. It's like, you had one job, basically.

I could see that. Deliver the donuts. Yeah, everybody's going to be pissed at. You show up. They're like, wait, you were supposed to bring the 420 donuts? Oh, yeah. Have you ever purchased something and then left without it? Yes.

I've done that a couple years. I did that not too long ago. You know, Target has their amazing little cafeteria thing, but now it's just like a scanner. It's not like a whole cafeteria. and I was so excited, got myself a pretzel and cheese, rain it up, and then literally five seconds later, you know, I got in my car and realized I forgot it in there. And I was like, it's too late.

Whoever wants it can have it, I guess. I'm going back in. You feel so stupid in that situation. A few times I have, Josh, where you walk away from that gas station and the... Well, job done. The, what do they call them behind the counter? The cashier has to holler at you and say, hey, don't forget your items. Yeah, I hate myself.

What items? You look like a jackass walking back into the place. I mean, also left in a taxi cab a sack of marbles. I'll show you a sack of. Someone left a sack of marbles. What is this? 1952. Who's walking around with a sack of?

Maybe they're marble racers. Could be. You lost your marbles. Oh, poor great grandpa. Listen to this, Josh. Poor great grandpa's without his oxygen tank because that was left behind in the... Oh, I thought maybe you were going to say that he could. got left behind.

You left their grandpa in the Uber? Yeah, that might have been on purpose. The oxygen tank, well, Christ. Or a scuba diver that's going to have some issues. A brand new mini-fridge. Live fish? Well, that's better than Fish Live, isn't it, Dana? Oh, Mike.

Don't get me started. What would you rather experience, Josh? Live fish or fish live? Yeah, no offense to fish or fish fans, but I don't think I'd want to go see that band. If you don't get the reference, if you don't mind, Dana, I think the story is that you had a girlfriend once, but she cheated on you.

And part of this cheating involved your girlfriend going with a man to see fish live. She was at a fish festival, a three-day weekend over a Halloween weekend. And then it was over Halloween weekend. So Saturday was Halloween. She confessed that she cheated on me the night before. My buddies were like, hey, man, that sucks.

You know, let's go out for Halloween. Let's go have fun tonight. So we go to this party. I just graduated college. So we go to this college party. I had my buddy's girlfriend's place, and I'm just not feeling, not feeling that beer's not going down well. Playing beer pong, and I feel a little gas, and I let it out, and then I sharded myself. So not only did my girlfriend cheat on me at a fish festival, I then sharted myself at a Halloween party hours later.

I don't know if I knew the rest of this story. That's- The sharding part? Wow, yeah. That's new to me, too. Yeah, that's when you know you just got a call to night and go home at that point. Dana, I do have a question, though. Yeah. Like, you knew she was going to do that, right?

I mean, if you're in a relationship and your significant other goes to a music festival that's like three, four days long without you, chances are they're going to get some. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess maybe deep down I did know maybe I was hoping. No, she loves me. Okay, so you did know that she was going to this concert festival. Yeah, not only a concert festival, but a terrible concert festival. Well, yeah, I mean, she invited me. She wanted me to go with.

Oh, I don't know I'm not going to a fish festival. Oh. Oh. Oh, man. So she wasn't planning on it then, Dana, if that makes you feel better. Yeah, no, she was just like, she wanted, like her and her girlfriends were going. She goes, I think you will like it. Just trust me.

Like, no, I'm not going to like it. I'm not going to trust you. And then she crapped herself at the concert. What happened? No, see, Dana did. All right. Here are some more items that were left behind in taxi cabs this year. Two trees.

Oh, those aren't cheap. Yeah, we were just talking about this. I'll take them if nobody claims them. Me too. Josh, that makes six, doesn't it? Also left behind in the, nothing? It took me a second, yeah. Yeah, okay.

Also left behind in cabs or in a cab. What would three trees mean? 12? Nine. Oh, Jesus Christ. Me and arithmetic don't mix. Someone left a cape in a taxi cab. Oh, no.

A cape with the Statue of Liberty on it. Are we? American man. Are we not aware of some new superhero? Some kind of a cape with a statue of liberty on it leads me to believe that we've got a superhero in the midst. So you can get into contact with the Uber driver pretty easily if you left something behind.

If I left my cape, I think I would just go buy a new cape. Depends how expensive the cape is. It's got the statue of liberty on it. You're not a patriot? I don't know, Dana, maybe like a good quality cape is pretty expensive. Could be. Can someone tell me what this means? A left behind, $200 worth of T-Mu items?

Isn't T-Mu an online retailer? Yeah, it's like a cheaper online retailer. Oh, so? So, like, it's one of those places where you could be like, yeah, I'm going to order this couch, and then the couch comes, and the couch is like the size of your hand. All right, so someone bought a bunch of things on whatever T-Mu is and then left them in the cab.

Yeah, okay. Probably wasn't even necessary for them to save the store. Oh, okay, okay. grass and we're not talking about marijuana like what you find out in your yard someone left a big pile of grass maybe it was a lawn care professional who had shaken out his work boots or something

I don't know there's a lot of grass in the taxi cab this one kind of unnerves me a rhinestoneed picture of Jesus Sparkly Jesus Oh no Ashley someone

is without their ultimate weapon. Someone left behind their pool cue in the case. Oh, no. Is that expensive? It can be. Oh, yeah. I'm picturing them to be expensive. I would be so depressed.

Cubby, you can spend as much as you like on a friggin' pool stick, or you can be reasonable about it. I have five or six at the house, you know, for folks to use when they come over. And, uh... You just got like bar cues. Yeah, you need to, you need to, you need to, give folks a choice. So, you know, I've bought five or six, and you can, you can be reasonable about it. My own personal favorite cue, though, I think I spent around, I don't know, $125, $30.

Oh, really? And again, that's, that's kid. Yeah, would have thought there were more than that, too. They are. That's kid stuff compared to what you can spend. I think mine is probably worth around, like, 700. But the people that, yeah, the people I play pool with, so they, they play a lot. like their whole life. They have like, you know, $2,000 cues. Oh, wait a minute. You spent $700 on your pool queue? Well, luckily, both parts of my cue, or everything to do with my queue was not bought by me. Oh. They were all gifted, so that was very nice. I'm very lucky. Very, very lucky. I like the way. Two thousand seems extreme, but if you want to get like a really good one, that, you know, that's not out of control, but just really good, what are you looking at?

A hundred, mine that I use is very, is. So for a hundred. Wonderful. I'd say like 500. Oh, God, no. You can get everything you need from a pool queue for $100, Josh. Don't listen to what. What are you working for a distributor now or something? Yeah, exactly.

You do not need to spend $500,000. No, you do not. I work for Predator, actually. By the way, that was cute. When I asked Ashley, you spent $700 on a pool queue? And she said, everything about my pool queue was not bought by me, where she could have easily said, it was a gift. I know, and I said that afterwards.

I was like, well, to sum it up, it was a gift. Josh. You sounded like a lawyer there. I was wondering what you're hiding. I don't know why I was trying to figure because I got like the shaft and I got them from different places. That's why I was confused. Josh, my personal favorite cue that I have a case and I bring it out to play here and there, it's black on the handle and it's yellow. Otherwise, you don't want to know what I call it.

You'll appreciate this. Is this a striper reference? The yellow and black attack. I like it. That's right. Okay. Let's see. What else was left behind in 10?

taxi cabs. Oh, Josh, it sounds like someone was going as you for Halloween. Someone left behind a bald cap. You hear me laughing, but it's hiding rage. Are you making fun? You know, we're a class of people that you shouldn't make fun of. I was very excited about that joke. I was. Someone was trying to go as cubby for Halloween. They left behind a bald cap. Someone left behind a dishwasher. Whoa. How about a wizard wand, a la Kazam? Oh, I wonder if those are expensive. You can get, like, personalized ones that are pretty pricey. I've always wanted one.

Every part of my wizard wand was not bought by me. Was it gifted? It was a gift. No way. A two-pound bag of blue raspberry gushers. Oh, man. That sounds delicious. I'd do some damage there.

Somewhere a sledding hill is without a customer, or without maybe their favorite customer. Someone left behind their toboggan. Someone left behind a set of handcuffs. I think we all know what that was about. A little bit of fuzz on there. Pink fuzz. Yeah. Josh is into that S&M game.

Oh, yeah. Dishes out of beating. I told you guys when I worked at the car rental joint at the airport, we'd find a lot of sex toys left behind. They bought them for the trip, you know, while they're in town and said, I'm not going to bring these to your security. I'm just going to leave them. Why wouldn't they just chuck them somewhere versus leaving them in the vehicle for you guys?

Or maybe they thought you'd appreciate it. Yeah, I mean, we were a bunch of a 22-year-old. recent college grads, yeah. I think some of those got put into use. Did you find a dildo? Yeah, we found some dildo. Did you charge? Just you clean it and then use it?

We just rented a vehicle and they said if we left anything, they're going to charge us. Oh, yeah, they usually do have that. Did you charge? No, I didn't care enough about the job to go above and beyond to charge somebody for something. All right, let's wrap this up as we're rolling through Ubers, 20 and 26, yearly rundown of all the odd items left behind in their cabs. Two wedding gowns. That must have been one big bride.

Yeah, but that's not cheap either. I don't know what this is. No, definitely not. Pelvis implants? I've never heard of that. What is it? Who carries that? I don't know. I can't picture it.

I have not a clue with that. I need to look this up. Josh, how many pounds can you handle? How many pounds can you handle? Someone left behind 20 pounds of duck sausage. Well, that's too much duck sausage for this guy. A child's prostate. eye. Oh, God, no.

I bet you that one-eyed kid is furious with mom and dad. Oh, that's so creepy to come across. Where are your mom? I'd like to yell at you. Especially if it was like the next passenger that found it, not the Uber driver. I would assume that this is going to be my last day on this earth. It's always the eyes. And I understand a child's prosthetic eyes like a doll's eye. Yeah.

And someone left behind their meat slicer. Why is one in one of those? Why do you have that? Oh, like a deli slice? Yeah, what in the world? They're insanely sharp. It is so sketchy using one of those. Do you have one?

I used to work at Subway, and we had one of them. It was fun, but it was really sketchy. Yeah, they look fun. You got to be paying attention the whole entire time. We waited to smoke the weed until after we used the meat slicer. Responsible teenage sandwich artists. Here's the deal. While we go, we're going to go to commercial here, and I think I need to look up what is a pelvis implant.

That's one of the items that was left behind in a cab, and I've never heard that said out loud before. By the way, one of our listeners, Trucker Sega, Trucker Sega, S-E-G-A. Sega. He said, do you want to know what he left behind in a cab, Josh? What do you leave behind? His trailer, Trash, ex-wife.

The 93X-Hap-ass Morning Show. Yeah, I looked up a pelvis implant. It wasn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be. Pelvis implant. Does he get around a little better? Yeah, it's like any kind of. kind of a prosthetic type of a thing, like when you get a fake knee or a fake hip. Some folks need some kind of a joint maybe put into their pelvis because of an injury.

That's a pelvis implant. I wonder if I'd be a sexier dancer with one of those. It might help, yeah. I bet it would help. As long as you got that oil can. Yeah, it would creak. Pelvis implant was one of the items listed. Uber went ahead and dumped their list on us again.

Every year they pile up, they pile up a report on all the ice. odd items left behind in their taxi cabs. Pelvis implant was one of them. Dishwasher was the other, and we got a lot of wife jokes texted into the... I wonder if that was going to happen. Yeah, we got a lot of wife jokes. It's sexist. Easy.

One of the items left behind in an Uber was a child's prosthetic eye. A listener texted in to say his sister has a prosthetic eye, and she would love to play pranks on wait staff when they go out for dinner by putting her eye in her drink. That's awesome. What the hell that I write down here? Oh, I'm not exactly sure what these text messages mean. Well, this one I have an idea. Listener who says one time I left my dignity in a cab.

Yeah, I think plenty have. Another, though, this is the one that kind of I'm wondering the story, behind this one. A listener says, I left my self-esteem in the back of a cab. I wonder what that, what do you suppose that means? Like he was turned down by a woman or something? He left his cell, I don't know. The cab driver, like, belittle you? They're like, hey, ugly. Where are you going, ugly? I had that drunk taxi cab driver years ago. God, that was hilarious. I mean, again, we were going just from one city bar to another city bar. But it was, obviously, a long enough trip to where we needed a taxi.

We weren't going to walk it. So when I got in the back and realized that the driver was drunker than I was, it didn't really worry me because I knew we were only going, I don't know, a couple of miles, you know, 20 mile per hour roads. If we were been jumping on the interstate, I would have had a totally different approach. But the dude was clearly drunk and he had a big fat, you know, sippy cup. What do we call these things? A water bottle?

Water bottle. He had a big fat water bottle, which was brown. The liquid inside was brown. Clearly, this guy had been drinking all night on the job. And the best part about it is he was very friendly. Hey, man, how's it going? All that stuff. Where are you from?

At one point or another, his cell phone rings, and he picks it up, and he does this. Hello? Bitch, I ain't coming to pick you up. I already got a customer. No, bitch. He went on and on, arguing with some woman on the other end of the telephone. And I agree with this text. Did you guys like this television show?

A listener texted in to say HBO needs to bring back Taxi Cab Confessions. Oh, yeah. That was fun. That was a really hilarious, sometimes creepy, sometimes disgusting program.

Did you ever see that one, Cubby? I didn't have HBO at the time, but I've seen clips on YouTube. You got a little bit of everything on the show TaxiCab Confessions. Those frigging drivers were brave. Yeah. Because there were some real crackpots that jumped in the back of those.

Big time. Oh, my damn. A few of our listeners have texted in, Josh, to say that their ultimate goal is to cause your mother to get a pelvis implant. Oh, jeez. That's just what you need. One more pelvis implant. We've got a punch card.

Oh, you do? Yeah. Next one's free. Yeah, the original taxi cab confect. program was awesome. Prostitutes back there, you know. There was nudity on taxi cabs. Oh, definitely there was.

Really? Oh, yeah. And I was always surprised. Obviously, this is how it works in the television industry, right? They can't just up and show unwilling naked people. These people have to sign off on them. So I was always surprised. Some of the things that these people said,

and some of them, you know, got completely nude. I was always surprised that they signed off and said, Sure, run that. I was watching for the nudity, because when I was watching that show, it's probably 12, 13. All right. When they would tell the stories, I get so bored. I'm like, oh, come on, get somebody else in there. It's going to get naked.

I don't care about your sordid affairs. I want nudity. Right, right. I'm assuming they probably knew, right? It's probably obvious they're being filmed. And some folks probably did that on purpose. I guess it could be. I mean, but they would, I mean, it's television, so you can't believe everything you see.

Maybe some of these people were actors. I don't know. But in the show, they would explain. to you where the cameras were and whatnot and they were all supposedly very well hidden. I always took it to be legit, but, you know. I also thought Jerry Springer

was legit back in the day as well. You never friggin' know. We got to get gone. What do you got, Cubbies? Retired FedEx Jesus text in a special shout out to his better half on their fourth anniversary and said he's looking forward to many, many more. Happy 10th to Camshaft. From Richard,

happy birthday to NBA Jesus from NBA Jesus. Happy Six to Marlowe. And it's her end of the year field trip today. She's very excited. End of the year field trip. Awesome. I loved those.

Where did you used to go on your end of the year field trip? Valley Fair. We went to Valley Fair one year. We went to the, not the planetarium. What's that called outside of? Science Museum? Oh, no. Oh, yeah, which science museum?

Boring. I forgot what that's called. One year we had to go to Lake Elmo instead of Valley Fair. Oh, stupid. Conservatory. Are you serious? Yeah, there you go, John. It's like we're going to go to a man-made beach?

I know a guy they got married at the Conservatory. Anyway, we used to go to Valley Fair every year. Grade school, junior high, all the way through. Every year, our end of the year trip was at Valley Fair. And that's where I got my very first Wang story. Oh, yeah? Yeah, because we jumped on the Enterprise. And some bitch, he'd been at 15 years old.

He threw up all over the Enterprise. That was my favorite ride. 15 years old. Oh, you stomach couldn't handle it at 15? He barfed all over the Enterprise. It had to shut that pig down for clean up Wang Juice. That was some serious foreshadowing for the rest of his life. Yeah, that was my first.

Wang experience. Boy, I missed the Enterprise. Yeah. That was, I got, after a while, it did kind of make me feel funny. Oh,

the older I got you. I can't do rides anymore. No, who can. It's humbling. No, it's terrible. Happy 40th to Little Falls Power Sports,

Jesus, and happy birthday to Noah, turning the big 05 today from Bacon, Lovin, craft beer snob, Jesus. 93X. Ah,

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