93X Half-Assed Morning Show - ("Best Of"): Bitch Bricks

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.  Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer and I think you should too. An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well.

Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. The comfort you deserves is 1930. There's a dushiness to them. The 93-Ags Half-Ast Morning Show. What's going on, Josh? Oh, I'm just fat and sassy, as my aunt used to say.

Whenever you'd ask her how she was doing, that was the answer. Oh, man. She was not fat, but she was very sassy, this aunt of mine. She sounds like a real character. She was a card. I'll tell you what. She sounds... An absolute card.

You know, we don't shower much around here, but I was just looking at something. and the folks over there at the WWE are now selling bars of soap. They've got a bar of soap called the Stone Cold Stunner. It's a black bar of soap that'll make you smell like whoopass. And there's a flavor called Ray Mysterio Magic, where you come out the shower smelling like you're from Area Code 619. That's fantastic. You had any interest in stuffing, some stockings this year, Josh,

with some WWE soap. Already bought some. What? Awesome. I had some WWE Cologne back in middle school and they marketed that for a while. Was it after a particular wrestler? No, it was just like a WWF brand to Cologne. It was back when it was WWF at the time.

This was like 1998, I want to say. Did it have a funny slogan or anything? No, not really. It was just standard Cologne. Like there's nothing like when I ordered it from Shop Zone back in the day. My friends were like, is it going to smell like sweat? Is it going to smell like a wrestler? but just general cologne.

Nothing like if you want to pile drive your significant other. Yeah, no, no. They didn't do anything cute like that, which was kind of surprising. That's so WWF for WWB. Right, yeah. And it was in the midst of the attitude era where they couldn't do anything unless it was some type of sexual pun, you know. No woman will be able to kick out from her obsession with you if you wear WWF cologne. Kiss and the WWE.

If it's a thing, they've tried to sell it. Mm-hmm. For a while, you were buying. Oh, yeah. I remember I had like an inflatable stone cold Steve Austin, like rock'em-sock and something. You could punch it and it would pop back up, you know? Did you ever have those pillows?

Oh, yeah, wrestling buddies? Heck yeah. I had a Hulk Hogan and an Ultimate Warrior. I remember those commercials. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'll tell you what. Who the hell uses bar soap anymore? I haven't since I was a kid.

It would be the family bar of bargain brand Irish Spring. Yeah. Dad on Downs using that thing. It was disgusting. It's covered in gross things. Yeah, I remember those days. We had the family bar of soap. Didn't you get soap shamed not too long ago?

Soap shame. I think you were talking about body wash. And you got a text from somebody that was calling you out saying men use bars of soap. Yeah. It was like a couple of. weeks ago. Yeah, you're right. I forgot all about that because it was such a weak attempt to bust my balls. Yeah, just dry out your skin. Why not? Yeah, you're right about that. Some tough guy wanted to make that stance that real men use bar soap. Don't care, really. Yeah, I mean,

I'd imagine, like, especially when you're talking about, you know, the commune I lived in, we're talking and aunts and uncles and grandmas and cousins, brother, sister. Everybody was rubbing that family bar of soap on their privates. Yeah, it was butt cracks and privates. Oh, yeah, they went deep. Just pub central. I've never thought of that. It's the truth.

I mean, it never dawned on me until I was a much older person. Yeah. Yeah, we never had our own bars of soap or anything. It was just the family bar. No, right. Exactly. I mean, I could have very easily had my own bar of soap and just put it in a little Ziploc bag

until it was my turn to shower again. But no, I'm going to rub that same Adam, whatever. You know, not anything that I find too terribly disgusting. It is kind of interesting, though. You lived. Yeah. Yeah, that we all just kind of gang banged the same bar of soap.

I mean, I wouldn't mind if I went back to bar soap. Fine. It's just interesting that here we are in the year of 20 and 25, and the WWE is trying to sell bar soap again. Ah, wow. Yeah, I don't know if that would be allowed in my house.

My wife is kind of, I think, getting increasingly concerned about how emotional I'm getting over John Cena retiring. So she wouldn't let you get that soap. Yeah, maybe, like, I'm trying to limit the wrestling things from the house right now. You've got a hole right in the middle of that soap. Yeah.

You see, I'm so out of touch. I'm ashamed of myself that it's been years since I watched any form of television wrestling. So what's happening? So John Cena's final match is going to be almost a month from today, December 13th. So you're really buying that this is... Yeah, is it actually going to be? I don't know, but I'm just allowing myself to just believe and be a kid again and watch it and just enjoy the hell out of it. You're really that big of a fan, huh?

I am, yeah. I don't know if maybe I'm just feeling my age or something, but I've really dialed into this whole senior retirement tour. All right. That's adorable. Yeah. I'm just having fun with it. And my wife is a little concerned. So it's that you do get that emotional.

Oh, yeah. I cried on Monday night, Josh. Did you really? Yeah, I did. So it was his final appearance in his hometown in Boston, and he beat Dom Mysterio for the Intercontinental title to become a grand slam champion, meaning he's won every belt. could possibly win. So when your wife, she just kind of, she sweeps the Legos off the couch, she takes the Vin Diesel pillow off the couch to sit next to you, that's when she gets concerned. Exactly. It might be a combination of things. You're right, Josh, but I think this especially,

because she didn't grow up with wrestling, she didn't, never watch in her life, and she can't really wrap her head around why I'm so emotional over this. So even with her brothers and she's got, what, three dads? Yeah, no, they never, none of them were into it on. Never really watch it. She said, She goes, it might have been on in passing, you know, like they might have watched it themselves, but I was never included and never took any interest in it. Well, there you go. I didn't know you were such a fan. Yeah. I mean, I knew you were a wrestling fan.

I didn't know you were that into John Cena. You know, he's certainly one of the biggest stars that company's ever seen. But outside of his hip-hop. Don't tell me. There's a term there. He was the... I'll go ahead and tell me. The doctor of thugginomics?

Was he a professor? Professor of Thuganomics. I'm sorry. I thought he had a doctorate. Outside of his professor of thuganomics character, which was early in his career, it just never really grabbed me. But we're from different generations.

Right? Oh, yeah, big time. I'm more of a Rick Flair, uh, Brett Hart. you know, 70s and 80s guys. You're a little younger, so. I was totally unaware that he was closing in on a final final. Yes, Ashley.

The only connection that I have to John Cena is that he's given me one of my signature dance moves, and that's the You Can't See Me. That's a day. Oh, you do that one? Yeah, that's, yeah, I mix that into my little dance routine. So it's simply the arm waving in front of the face. There isn't anything else that goes into the dance? No, there's just some things like that I do before it.

Like I like to paw the corners, and that usually leads to the sprinkler, and then I hit them with the you can't see me. Can I ask you something real quick? Are you a 50-year-old suburban dad? Yeah. That's pretty much the dance you've just described. That's how I describe my dancing ability to people. Like I actually usually say a middle-aged divorced dad. Well, that adds to it.

That's cute. I would love to see that sometime. Ashley throwing the... I guess there's got to be video. somewhere, right? I'm sure there is. Somebody in your group of friends. Medical device cheese is brings up a good point. Dana, when your wife and you communicate,

does she have to do it via the X app on your switch too? Or are you able to talk to her in person? We talk in person, surprisingly enough. Yeah, I mean, you're not alone. You know, significant others as much as they enjoy about each other. There's plenty of things

that I do that my wife doesn't even begin to understand. You got to have your own things. Plenty of things that I'm passionate about. I mean, for example, last night, I went downstairs to watch the television all by myself. And when I came upstairs for bed, she asked me, well, what were you doing down there?

I said, well, I tried to watch the hockey game, but I couldn't find it on television. She said, well, what did you watch then? And I said, ooh, I watched a few old episodes of the Twilight Zone. And she just... Oh, she didn't like the Twilight Zone? Oh, hell no. I thought everybody of our age

like the original Twilight. She thinks it's just the stupidest thing in the world that I watch. Basically, all of my television intake is programs from the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Oh, so it's more about that than necessarily the Twilight Zone itself. Yes, yes.

Because your wife seems like she's really dialed into some of the new stuff, the new shows, all the streaming services and all that. She watches new programming. I watch, oh, Old programming. I don't know word one about current series, current, any damn thing for that matter. So she just rolled her eyes again that I would sit downstairs for two hours by myself and watch a 1959 episode of The Twilight Zone.

It is what it is, what it is. All right, so back to bar soap. Yes. We are being shamed for not using it. Don't care. I'm not a little girl. I use a bar soap. I didn't know that was like a manly thing or whatever.

I mean, you can get a bottle of the juicy stuff for 99 cents, cheap and last for a long time. Yeah. Always late, but worth the weight, Jesus said, my 17-year-old son has three bars of soap, one for balls, one for the butt, and one for the body. So he splits it up. No, that's just too much going on in the shower. Yeah, I always use just one for everything. I don't like bars of soap because when you put them on the little shelf in the shower, they just make it all gross and icky. They do, you're right.

It stresses me out. three separate bars of soap he's that afraid of his own ass and genitalia must be must be gross in that area i don't know he's very hygienic how old did you say he was teenage yeah it's gross that must be some kind of a phobia or something anyway uh yeah hard-ons um if today liquefied soap or whatever you call it body wash if today there was a ban on it and it was never allowed again, I'd be fine with that.

Going off and buying a bucket of barred soap. It's not like you're overly passionate about body wash. And I pretty much truthfully just use whatever my wife buys. And it's not like she's buying boozy stuff. I think it's like after tax, it's like $1.7, a bucket for which she gets fancy stuff. I just get whatever the Target brand is. Yes. If my wife came home today with a big suitcase full of barred soap and said, this is what we're using, I'd say, okay.

It's soap. Who gives a rat's ass? You want to make this into a dong measuring contest? What kind of soap people are using? How insecure are you? That is pretty good. I'm not leading a parade for liquefied soap down the street. That's what's in the bathroom I'll use it. Standing outside target protest. Can you imagine if that was really a thing? Yeah. All right, Doc, I'd like to transition into a woman. Where do I start? Do you got any bar soap yet? Ditch it.

You got to get the bottled soap in there. How stupid. Smoking meats and clapping cheeks, Jesus said, you just wash off the bar when you're done with it. So you need some soap to wash off the soap afterwards. Yeah, I don't get some soap soap. I never thought, that's another thing. Once I dipped that thing in parts of my body,

when I was a kid using the barred soap, the family bar like we were discussing. Once I dipped that thing into disgusting, areas of my body. I never thought to rinse it off for the next person. I don't know. I never did when you're a kid. I mean, we both have said this.

Our parents, neither one of our parents, ever gave us any grooming advice whatsoever. None. I mean, maybe when we were very first bathing, I don't remember those lessons. But outside of that, there was never anything. I didn't know. I mean...

Our folks never showed us how to do anything. Your first wife taught me how to shave. Right. That's a true story. I mean, I was doing it wrong until I heard through Nick how she taught him how to shake. Right. That's amazing. Give us a break.

We were raised by Neanderthals. There was too many people in the house to remember everyone. Oh, here we go. We were just talking about this a few days ago. Gatekeeping soap. What are you some kind of bitch? You use body wash? Melvin the mop boy Jesus said to use a washcloth.

No, I've never used a washcloth. I was taught that or told that by somebody in college where we were kind of having the same discussion where you take a bar of soap, you run it all through yourself, and then you just put it back for the next person and said you're supposed to bring a washcloth in and lather up the washcloth and then use that to wipe down your dirty parts. Yeah, I was taught to do that when I was younger. This person says, just use lava soap in the shower like a real man. That's a man soap right there. I love that stuff. Don't even get in the shower. The showers are cowards.

Go inside with the hose and spray. Bray yourself down. All it is basically is a wet piece of sandpaper. Steel wool and cold water. That's what I do, because I'm a real man. I use steel wool, some rubbing alcohol, cold water, and I dry myself off with my hunting dog. I'm a real man.

I just use a flamethrower to get the dirt right off of me. Yeah. Some gunpowder. Then I jump into a pool of rubbing alcohol. Right. Local 34 Jesus said, Wash the soap off. Well, how am I supposed to enjoy the pile of pubs my dad left in the shower before me?

Yeah, I understand. Those bars of soap can certainly, they can hold on to a pub or two, that's for sure. What were we doing? What a bunch of animals? We were animals. Can I tell my shower drain story again? Bath tub drain story? Please do.

Yeah, I don't think I remember that. Oh, it was one of the greatest moments of my life when I was about 16. or so. And the old man says, got to come down in the basement with me. We got to unclog the bathtub drain. Oh, God. Kind of hung down from the upper level. So we removed this portion of the ceiling and there's the you-shaped bathtub drain. And there was a clog. So we're going to pull it loose and unlawful. and unclog it. And I was kind of standing right next to the old man, and he's staring straight up at the ceiling,

and he's got the big old pipe wrench in his hand, and he's trying to loosen that some bitch, and it hadn't been loosened since the house was built in 1946. You know, and he's trying to protect him. And he finally busted that nut, I guess. No, no pun intended. And the pipe came loose. And 40 years, maybe more like 30, 30 years of hell that was clogged in that drain, fell perfectly splashed, perfectly down onto his face.

It was jet black. It was thick like pudding. And just smoothed down onto his face. The smell was second to none. And, I mean, I had to take a knee. I'm laughing so hard. And he removed his glasses. And so, of course, the two circles around his eyes from where his glasses used to be

were the only sign that he was a human being. That's so gross. It had just, it had engulfed his entire skull. Oh, it's like a movie. This black pudding mask. Oh, God. It was so bad. I sure hope he used bar soap to wipe that off.

Otherwise, your dad's not a real man. That's right. Have you ever seen that sludge anybody other than Nick? No. Oh, man. We had a plumber over and he was fixing some other stuff and one of the drains was clogged. And no matter what I did, I couldn't get it to work. And I really didn't want to take it apart.

I figured I'd screw it up. And so he did, and he reached down the pipe. And the stuff he just, with his bare hands, he pulled this stuff out. I thought I was going to barf. And I was really embarrassed. And he said, no, no, this has probably been here forever. This has been so long. But I thought, man, we're disgusting.

And I had no idea we were that gross. Dude. It was beautiful. By the way, the latest trend is showering in the dark. Yeah, I don't fully understand. Oh. I mean, I rarely turn lights on. Right.

But I don't shower in the dark. I've done that. It sounds like a good way. It sounds like a good way to crack a rib showering in the dark. But do you light like candles or something, Ashley? I have before, but I've just like showered in the dark before. I don't know why. When I was younger, I think I was trying to be like dramatic.

Dramatic? Yeah. Huh. What do you mean by that? I don't understand. Oh, it's a tough day. I'm so sad. I'm going to go shower in the dark.

That was a weird kid. Well, you know, it's all about, how do they put this? A sensory change, right? And it's specifically before you go to bed. Yes, you shower before you go to bed in the dark, and it's supposed to prepare your body for sleep and all that fancy, schmancy stuff. Sorry, the gas is starting to set in.

I do find the bright, bright lights of the bathroom to be more obnoxious as I get older. So now when I go into the bathroom, for any reason, I just hit the tiny little night light. Yeah, I love doing that. I don't ever turn on the full on. My God, it's just my... It's too much. Yeah, I don't even know if ours works. Am I going under the knife for surgery?

Why do the lights have to be so bright? The only time I ever turn on a ceiling light is just in the shower. We've got like a single light above our shower. Yeah, that's the new trend. Wellness trend. Oh, I'm dialed into that stuff big time. God, am I tired of people telling us what's going to kill us and how to live forever? Well, the hard part is it changes all the time.

Yeah. This is the new. Quite dramatically, too. Like, oh, eggs, they're great for you. Oh, no, no, they're going to kill you. Coffee. It seems like those are the two ones that come up quite a bit. I'm just going to keep doing whatever I'm doing.

And I feel like I have the worst stomach issue. when I try to go on like a little, I'm like, hey, I'm going to have a salad for dinner tonight and say, you know, and then I feel like that's when I get like the really, really bad stomach as opposed to just my normal wings and pizza type of routine. Yeah, the only time I've ever had food poisoning is when I've eaten healthy. Yeah, it's vegetables that have got me too. Dirty. This is all similar to what you've heard before. I'm sure you've heard before that, you know, if you want to get some good sleep, they recommend you dim the lights down to. almost nothing the last hour or so that you're awake.

It's supposed to prepare your body for sleep. So this is the same gimmick. They're saying jump into the shower in complete darkness before you go to bed and your body will this that, this, that, and this that. Do you guys get excited when houses or rooms in a house have like those little dimmer lights? I always get excited like a little kid. Like, oh, look at this. You got a dimmer here. It's certainly fancy, in my opinion, because we never had dimmer switches.

We just had. We had the push buttons. It was either brighter than the sun. You know what I mean? When you flipped the switch in my house growing up, it was brighter than the sun, and you flipped it off. You couldn't see Dick Tracy. Do you know what I'm talking about the push buttons? Yeah.

You know, knob and tubes? You have like a top button and a bottom button to turn them off? I think so. That's what we had growing up. Well, you just had those big fat light switches where you could hear from across town. Calk clunk when you'd turn it on. when you turn it off. Big fat switches.

I think when me and my husband were looking for a house to live in, that was like an important part of our house search, even though you could easily put in dimmer lights. I did on all mine. Anytime we see a house, we're like, oh, this one has dimmer lights. That's awesome. Let's get this one.

It's fancy. I think of it as fancy. Showering in the dark. Look out, old timers. You're headed for the emergency. room if you shower in the dark. You can slip on a bar of soap in there. Somebody said we should get light up showerheads.

I didn't know that was a thing. That's awesome. I don't want to even begin to entertain that. That sounds like a lot of work. A light up shower head. How am I running electricity into the same water and electricity mixing, Josh? Is it a battery powered, I'd imagine? Battery powered.

You can change the color on them, too. Have like a rainbow going on. Battery operated items are for bitches and sissies. Don't you know? Oh, yeah, that's right. You're not going just a bare, dangerous-looking electrical cord. You're nothing but a bitch. Yeah, one old, just there's not even any, there's no rubber on the outside.

It's sprayed. It's a bare wire. It's a swinging light bulb from a broken ceiling with exposed wires. That's the only way to do it if you want to be a man. Dimmer switches and battery-powered this or that. Yeah, if I ever see one of those in there, it's battery powered. I'm going to ask if any men shower in there, because it sure doesn't look like it. This must be a woman's only shower.

All right, we ought to get going again. On this beautiful Wednesday, we appreciate you joining us. Oh, you know, a little bit later on Randy Shaver will join us. Our next move, I think, will be towards the stupid. Oh, the clapper is where it's at, people they're telling me. Oh, I just wanted one of those. Do those actually work? Yes, they do.

They do? My dad had a, I don't, obviously my family is like every other family where the mom buys all the Christmas presents. But there was one year where my dad got really into the clapper and got like everybody in our family, an extended family, a clapper for Christmas. When your parents were having sex where the lights going on and off. Ah, stop it. Actually, I just got, my husband just bought us a bed frame. He loves anything with lights. It's adorable.

He's like a little kid with that kind of stuff. Little Christmas lights type thing? No, like the little strip of lights and you can change the color. Yeah, yeah, I got one of those in the basement. In this bed frame, it has a setting where it, sorry, excuse me, the lights change with sound. Oh. And I'm like, all right. So he's really excited when the baby moves over to its bedroom.

He's really excited to get it. Give that a go. He wants to change the lighting in the room with his calls of passion. Yeah. Yeah, the Clapper's been around for decades. I never saw it. You have never seen one in person? I haven't either.

It was always a joke, right? The song, the commercials. But I did want one of those. How cool would that be? Yeah. Oh, you bastards. All right, we'll take a break. We'll come back with that stupid news, I think is what we call it.

Stupid news in a few minutes. 93X half-assed morning show. I wouldn't have sex with you if I was starving and your wiener was a ham sandwich. 93X rocks. Welcome to the 93X half-ass morning show. There's my life partner off to my left. Josh. Josh, you down or what?

I'm down. I'm always down. No, no, no. Down with the clown chelax? You know how I like to do? I like to kick it. I'm kicking it already this morning. I like Wednesdays, actually.

It's my favorite day of the week around here for whatever reason. Good for you. I think Ashley, you've agreed with me on the past, haven't you? Yeah, wind days are pretty nice. What is it about Wednesdays where the show just seems to, I don't know, be a little better than the rest of the week? We'll be finally woken up from the weekend officially, maybe. Maybe that's the case, but Nick and I were just talking about how tired this week has been. Yeah, very sleepy week.

Well, now you've added some pressure to the situation. Well, I said usually just to give us an out. You did say usually by God. So we have an out. I just learned a new term, being my closest bro. You should know this about me. I just learned a new term, and that term is gatekeeper. It says here nobody likes a gatekeeper.

Well, that's not necessarily true. We both liked an old coworker of ours that went on air under the name the gatekeeper, which was hilarious if you knew the guy that he went on air under the name the gatekeeper. This was the scrawniest-looking sum bitch you ever saw, he worked in the, this is years and years ago. He worked in the building on air on a different station we had going at the time, an alternative

rock station. We played hacky sack in the parking lot with the gatekeeper back in the day. What was so hilarious about his situation, this dude hated hard rock and heavy metal. He hated it. But we needed an overnight on-air DJ for our hard rock station. he was available. He could use the money. So because he was such a clever guy

just to poke fun at the position he was in, an overnight gig at a hard rock station, he came up with the cheesy, heavy metal sounding name of the gatekeeper to use on air. Did he come up with that? That's what I remember. That's what I remember. Despite his arms being like buggy whips,

big, thick glasses, oh, did he have some thick Coke bottle glasses? Like I said, he was like this skateboarding hacky sack alternative rock guy. But when we needed that overnight hard rock DJ, he said, you know what, piss on it. I'm going to do it and I'm going to be the gatekeeper. But that's a totally different thing that the term that I learned this morning. He's a big boss at different radio companies. You know that?

No. Yeah, that's kind of what he's up to now. I miss him too. I'm not surprised that he became a big boss because that dude was very, Very, very intelligent. Almost too smart. Yeah, not that you need to be. We got some big bosses around here, dumb as the day is long.

Specifically, Derek and James. But the gatekeeper, very smart guy. But that's not where I'm going with this. I learned a new term, the gatekeeper, or not the gatekeeper, just gatekeeper. And from what I understand, in this, context, gatekeeper. A gatekeeper is they believe their favorite hobby is so much better than what you might be involved in.

Yeah, if you're considered a gatekeeper nowadays, you're a dick face. Yeah. A dick face. If somebody calls you a gatekeeper, it's not a good thing. You have heard this before. Yeah. Okay. Welcome to 2020, Nick.

It's an old term? It's been around for a couple years, yeah. Okay. It's new to me. So a gatekeeper believes their favorite hobby is so much better than what you might be involved in. Your hobbies are stupid. Theirs are far superior. Have any of you been called a gatekeeper?

No. No. I've never been called it, but I've experienced it. It's also another example is when, say, somebody wants to get into something, they don't know much about it. And they ask, you know, for advice. He's like, oh, hey, I really like this. Like, I'm talking about soccer, for example. And say somebody wants to get into soccer, and people would be like,

oh, you don't even know that? Oh, no, no. You don't know what the Champions League is? Get out of here. And they make it feel stupid for attempting to learn the basics of something. Yeah, I don't like that. Yeah. For whatever reason, there are people that think there are hobbies are the only hobbies.

I have zero hobbies. So I love learning about others, like vicariously, like Dana, or people that are really passionate about stuff, especially if it's a little offbeat, you know, and I'd say you've got a couple of those. I do. I don't know why, but that's always kind of fascinated me. I dig that. So, okay, I saw this on a few different websites.

That's why I assumed it to be new. No surprise that I'm five, six, seven years behind. It's definitely old. It is old. You'd even call it old. Well, old in social media terms, meaning probably a few years. Yeah. Nobody likes a gatekeeper.

A good example I can think of is when somebody posts a picture of a dinner that they made. And then you're like, oh, what's the recipe? And they're like, I'm not going to tell you. What's wrong with you? Why are you talking about it if you're not going to share the details? I'll slap them right in the mouth, Ashley. I will. I'll crack them right across the mouth for you.

I want to know how to make that delicious ramen. Nobody likes a gatekeeper, especially when the thing they are gatekeeping is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, is another part of the statement that I read. So a couple of these websites, compile the batch, a list, a report of hobbies that despite what some people think do not make you better than everyone else. Don't be these people, is how they stated. meditation doesn't make you any better than anybody else but if you are a meditation gatekeeper you present it that way

tried it once on the advice of one of our bosses and I couldn't do it and I know I gave up too early I've heard people say well yeah you gotta practice it you can't just do it it's really hard I tried it one time and I thought add what did what did you do what did it involve it was an app

and basically I just listened to this lady talk about stuff and tried to clear my mind. But all I could think about is, I wonder what microphone she's using. Oh, man. I wonder how long she's been doing this. You just can't turn that brain of yours off, Josh, can you? I gave it a shot. I tried for like half an hour, and I just thought, maybe I'm too dumb to get this.

I've had the same experience, Josh. You tried as well? Yeah, or when I used to go to, like, actual yoga classes, they would have a part where, you know, they're like, clear your mind. like pay attention to your breathing and stuff like that. And I would be thinking about like what I'm supposed to do the next day. Yeah. Were you lying in the dark, Josh?

Were you sitting cross-legged on a on a... I was laying down. Lying down. Yeah, in bed. That's how you're supposed to be getting a relaxed position. All right. So meditation. There are people out there who are gatekeepers or gatekeep meditation.

and they make it sound like, you know what, you mere mortals wouldn't even understand. Matter of fact, it says here, you wouldn't believe how narcissistic people get when they first start a spiritual practice. I don't know those people, but I can believe it. I've heard that from folks that say they were just kind of shamed that they couldn't figure it out.

So you gave it a shock? Yeah, I tried it. I definitely did. I mean, maybe I shouldn't say, I tried it one time. Maybe I didn't give it to go. I should have. Were you in the nude?

No. You're never in the nude. You're never in the nude. Bicycling. Oh, yeah. Specifically, like those guys with the tight outfits that race down around your neighborhood. I think that's what they mean. Like they're in the Tour to France?

Yeah, I guess I don't know any arrogant bicyclists. I know folks that are really into it. But, I mean, I said, oh, yeah, because I know that people are into it, really into it. I've got a couple friends that, I mean, they're doing it all the time. Doesn't matter the weather. They'll just change out the type of tires. You got a couple friends who put on the tight suit and they race around the neighborhood?

I've never seen them go. They're more mountain bikers. Oh, mountain bike. So I don't think that they're doing the suit thing. But I actually was wondering, you know, when I got my bike and I thought I'd use it, I've got 2.8 miles on it still. That was the distance from the bike store to my home. I thought, I was wondering, like, am I supposed to get one of those outfits?

Do you look like a dork if you're riding one without it? But you have a mountain bike. Yeah, it's a mountain bike. But I was just, I wasn't going to, it's like a kind of a cheap one, so I don't know if I could actually do any mountain biking on it. You'd probably look like a dork if you were in like jeans. Or heavy baggy basketball shorts or something? Yeah, I think maybe some like a joggers and a hoodie.

I'm sorry, you said joggers and a hoodie? Yeah, yeah, that'd be good enough. Oh, I don't know if I could wear joggers. I don't think I could pull that off. I'm not sure what a jogger is. I think you could. I thought only the tour-to-French type cyclists wore the tight outfits, but you're saying mountain bikers wear the tight outfits, too?

I don't know. Oh, okay. I don't know that crowd. A dinah cop Jesus says he regularly practices meditation, but he always finds himself with a heart on at the end, and he's not sure what that's about it. I don't think, no, we're saying meditation. Oh.

Yeah. Photography. Photography is a hobby that's, certain people, when they get into photography, they act like it's much, much more important than anything that you've got going on. Do you guys have any of the, maybe it's more of a trend with people my age,

any of those friends who are like into photography and they're not very good at it? I understand they're like starting off. No. But they'll like post somebody's like, senior pictures that they took for them to get their portfolio started. And I'm like, ah, that poor person

they should get those redone. My answer is yes to your question. I know I have two friends who are into photography. One of them is into wildlife photography. And it's really impressive

what they come up with. They really could if they wanted to, I think, make some real money. Cool. This is the buddy of mine I've told you that we'll, it's eight below, it's two o'clock in the morning, and the guy will dress himself in a full gilly suit and lay in a pond nearly frozen to death for four hours so he can get a shot of a baby fox coming out of a hut

or something. That's awesome. Like national geographic type stuff. I could show you some stuff that he really has done. dedicated himself. And it looks great. What he turns out looks great. But like you were saying,

I have another friend who's into photography, and they'll say, look at this picture I took of a field the other day. And you'll say, uh, yeah. Could you dump that out of my phone? Someone, someone tripping on the sidewalk and accidentally thumbing their cell phone could have taken the same picture.

You know what I mean? One of our co-workers, Kato from the pit, he does photography on the side. He's incredible. He sells stuff. He is a pro. Without a doubt. Have you seen some of his stuff? Yeah. I've, no. You have Ashley? It's really great. I mean, he travels, I don't even how far he traveled, certainly regionally, he goes out of state and sells a lot of his stuff because he is such a talent. Yeah, he is one of those people that travels to take like a good picture of an eclipse that's happening. Yeah. It's really sweet. And he goes to like just all these I don't know if you call him conventions.

Maybe convention is the wrong word. Art shows. Yeah, art shows. Thank you. You'll go to those and sell us. Do I know the guy? Cato from the pit? Yeah.

Yeah, he's ran the board for us before. He's filled in when Dana was on his... You probably just don't know his... I was just saying a name that people would recognize. Kerski. Oh, for Chris. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jesus, yeah, he's excellent. Yeah, he's really good. Excellent. Yeah. That dude is... Didn't we say a minute ago about someone who's too smart to be in this building to be in this building

Kerski's too smart to be in this freaking building and his wife can drink beer Oh can't she? Oh, I know that about her Good for her. We went to a couple parties with he and his wife She could go through the beer

She's a riot Didn't you go to high school with him? Yes, I did Yeah Was he in your class? No, you're too younger than me Okay Josh, help me with this

as we're talking about gatekeeping. Snobby type folks, they get themselves a brand new hobby and then look down on everyone else because they're involved in meditation or photography we've covered so far. The rest of you... I'm sorry, go ahead.

The rest of these are just a bunch of donkeys. Something you said is a very good point. They just got into. Yeah. And it seems like it is the folks that are brand new to something that are very cocky and arrogant about it. Yeah.

Or if you say something incorrect because you're not familiar with it, you get destroyed like you're a moron. Kind of like what you were saying earlier, Dana. There's just certain things where if you say the wrong term, you just get destroyed. Actually, I'm sure you're familiar with this one too. You wear a Twins jersey and you get a as a female.

Oh, you're a Twins fan? Name the entire 2002 AL Central lineup then. Oh, I get that so much for all sports. My daughter gets that if she wears like a classic band t-shirt. just despite some of those people, she's learned the entire, like Led Zeppelin. She knew one or two songs and wore the shirt. She started getting that crap, so she's learned everything about any band t-shirt, just despite those folks.

One time I was wearing a gopher hockey jersey, and somebody at the bar started asking me questions about it, and I went into the bathroom and looked it all up because he was being such a D-bag about it. That's hilarious. I was like, I just like hockey, dude. That's it. Steelers fan Jesus said, you see it with bands. Oh, you don't know the name of the bass guitar. newborn baby and what the weight was at birth, and you call yourself a fan.

Another text message has come in saying people who make sourdough bread should be on the, there are people who make. Oh, yeah, that's really a thing. That's funny. I was at the Halloween party I was at on Friday. The people were going in to make sourdough bread with like some yeast that's passed around. I can't remember this like a term for it. But there's a store down the road that'll sell you a loaf of sour.

And it's delicious, yeah. Whatever it is sourdough is, that's one of those breads where if somebody's making it, it's usually sourdough. I don't know if it's an easier thing or it's like a community yeast. It's like at a St. Cloud sorority or something. Were they being snobby about it? No, no, not at all. But I mean, they were very like, you know how like people who are into coffee or wines are knowledgeable

and they'll kind of share things about it? Unfortunately, yes. It was a little bit like that. Not snobby, but like, well, you understand this culture's this, that, and this. I don't understand people who make their own food. There's a store right down. CrossFit lands on this report. You know, there are people who like to be snobby about their crossfit.

Yeah. You're throwing a frisbee in the woods. It can't be that serious. Reading. The article says, the author of the article here, on gatekeeping certain hobbies and being a bitch about it, reading is involved. It says here, I love it, and it brings me tremendous joy as well as knowledge.

But people can be entirely too snobby about reading. Yeah, about what kind of books you read and whether or not people consider like reading on a tablet, actual reading. I mean, you're reading. Sorry that I didn't buy the actual physical book. Yeah, you're right. There is like subsets within readers.

And I do like to read, but I always get kind of embarrassed saying it because I think, you know, when you say, oh, I read that or whatever, people look at you like, oh, did you know, you know, you're not, you're douchbag? You know, I get that, you know, I get nervous kind of talking about it. I do want to share, like, some books with folks that I think are, you know, good, even if you're not into reading, you'd enjoy. But, yeah, I always feel like a douchebag. I'll throw pickleball on that list. It makes the list. There's a couple people who work in a place that has pickleball, and they say some of those folks are so catty.

It's like the worst high school experience, and it's a lot of times older people. Gross. Well, of course it's because it's mostly older people who are playing, right? Well, I've been to some of those tournaments or like when I used to go a lot more with Dr. Pee, it was kind of all over the place. Well, Dr. P., it's, we had to tell them to shut up about pickleball. He had like thousands of dollars into pickleball just in the gear.

And not to mention, you know, going to play and how much that cost. It was the first thing he brought up every time we saw him until we said, dude, shut up. It got a little weird. He's not into it as much anymore. Well, good. Most folks, they burn themselves out. It's going to die out soon. Most folks burn themselves out.

Okay. You touched on music. music is a hobby that people can take too far and be rude and judgmental about it and the example they use here it says music if you don't like the niche bands that they like well then you don't know anything about music you know a friend of mine once said this out loud as a grown man and it wasn't that long ago we're at the bar and I do love to talk about As you know, if you listen to this program, I love to talk about my favorite groups and live shows that I've been to and records that I love. And I also enjoy talking about bands that I hate.

I love to trash the living hell out of bands that I hate. I'm certainly a gatekeeper when it comes to music. Maybe I'm a gatekeeper overall. Well, there's a few things you're a gatekeeper for. Oh, yeah, I'll admit it. So this friend of mine, grown man, he gets done saying something about some band that he, enjoys. There's a pause in the conversation, and he says this out loud. He goes, yeah, I think it's fair to say that I know a lot about music. And we all said, okay, Casey Kasem. Who says that about

themselves? Yeah, I think it's fair to say that I know a lot about music. We were talking to, you should have someone else say that about you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, a lot of that kind of thing. We were talking about our old co-worker and buddy, the gatekeeper, or his nickname, and his best friend was pillow fight. Right. Who does know a lot about music. Probably the most knowledgeable person about music I've ever met. Well, bad music.

Well, a lot of music. Thought of it's bad. He enjoys the good stuff, but he knows, or excuse me, the bad stuff, but he knows stuff about everything. He, uh, he, we've told the story before, but he was shamed at a record store for something he was buying. Yeah. Where he, the person at the counter made fun of him for buying it.

Yeah. And he didn't take too kindly to it. And he turns around and does the same thing to other people. Oh, yeah. He definitely does. He's a bit snobby. The story was he went to a record store, right, tell me if I'm wrong, Josh. He went to a record store, put a CD down, and he said that the cashier at the record store said,

Huh. Still listening to this stuff, huh? Yep. And apparently pillow fight said back to the cashier, still a cashier, huh? Back to, oh, where'd this? Okay, back to sourdough from, but you didn't mean not to Jesus. I was saying, you know, there's like a. I couldn't remember exactly the term with the yeast or whatever.

People are saying it's called a starter. Yeah. For it. Okay, so that's, that's right. That's what they told me. It became huge during the pandemic. Everybody was getting their sourdough starter kids. Okay, so that's where it started?

Well, he's saying, so if you have the starter, right, passed from person to person, it gives you bread street cred. Dude. This just takes too much time. There was a, I think it was called Amish bread that was like that. My family, meaning like my aunts and uncles were really into it, and they'd pass. around the starter for that. That stuff was grubbing. I'm very pleased to see that sleep Nazis

are picked on in this story about hobbies that you can become very rude about snobby. And they call it being a gatekeeper. I'm just learning that this morning that they call it being a gatekeeper. I mean, sleeping isn't a hobby,

but I'm just pleased to see that it says here, getting up early for no effing reason. I can't stand these self-righteous effwads who act like everyone else is lazy for not waking up at 4.30 in the morning. I love to pick on the sleep Nazis because I know a few of them and they've been pissing me off since I was a kid. DJing. That's a talent.

Especially the ones that beat mix and stuff like that. It's impressive. I'd have to see it to fully understand it. But someone who got involved in this article said, I find myself avoiding a lot of the DJ communities because of the frequent elitism and general negativity from so many different places. I know zero about the DJing community, but...

Smoking meats and clapping cheeks, Jesus brings up coffee and whiskey snobs. I wouldn't call my brother a whiskey snob, but we had a birthday party over the weekend. And he ordered whiskey, and when he was talking to the server about it, I was very confused and had to ask him if he took a class, basically. They're discussing all these things about whiskey.

And I would totally, like sometimes maybe you can pick up via context what someone's talking about. I mean, it went from like brand names to how it was age. I don't know. And I guess, isn't our boss really into whiskey? I don't know. He's into, it was something like that. People who use psychedelics and act like it makes them exist on a higher

plain than other people. And one individual here says, I've never heard one of these people actually say something insightful at all. Wine, we covered that, okay, alcohol, snobs, gamers. Yeah. Is that a console thing? Yeah, it's a console thing between Sony, Nintendo, and Xbox, and Microsoft. Oh, and then throw on PC.

Oh, and they're on a whole different level. Oh, yeah, no. They're so superior to everybody. Uh-huh. You don't really know how to game unless you game on a PC. Oh, you play Mario. You spent three grand to play the same game I'm playing. Here's the statement made in the article on gamers.

I'm thinking of hardcore video gamers who dismiss anyone who plays on their phone or tablets as not real gamers or anyone who uses the lower difficulty settings on hard games. They're called casuals. Oh, dude, I'm going easy mode all day. Yep. I'm playing to relax. trying to set a high score here or get a world record. Yeah. I've been...

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$45 off an AC-tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in the ovens and you add your furnace in well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Booked by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bealki. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. or go to Bialki law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com.

And it spells relief for you. Hi, I'm Joe Sal C. Hi, host of the stacking Benjamin's podcast. You know what? A lot of us get taxes wrong. Filing your taxes is basically data entry. There's been this trend of people going, oh, it's so cool to file my taxes in August.

It's so awesome. Don't worry. I have an extension. It'll be fine. I'd like totally do it later. Stop. Do your friggin' taxes now. That was a really good fast.

voice. Did you like it? You do that more frequently, please? Yes, every show for now. Stacking Benjamin's, follow and listen on your favorite platform. Hey, wait a minute. You two look kind of familiar. Ain't you them kids that have been whacking off in my toolshed? 93x half-ass morning show. How you doing there, Josh? All good. How about yourself? Pretty good. Do you also find this situation to be

unbelievable? I do find it to be unbelievable. I'm sorry. I've got a friend who pronounces it that way, and I can't get over it. I hate it when things are underwhelming, so I'm glad it's unbelievable. Oh, here we go. Yeah, with the Thursday issue of the show. There you are, Josh. You're at home, and you're doing what you love to do most at home. you're enjoying some television programming. Let's say you take a break from the Ozzy Osbourne documentary. Would this hold your attention?

Watching a live stream of a tavern, a bar, a roadhouse. So you click on your mouse or however a live stream works, I don't know. And suddenly you're watching the goings-on at your local neighborhood bar. Yes, absolutely. And I've done it before. You have? Yeah, I've done that. for bands. Sometimes they'll stream a band. And I know it's kind of a thing. Worldwide,

they have this going on where you can, and you have to pay for it certain times, but otherwise they'll have, hey, this is just what's going on at our bar. Yeah, it's kind of fun. You can live vicariously through people, sometimes overhear conversations. During the pandemic, I would stream church services on Sunday. You know, they'd have those going for a bit. When I first read about this, this is the new trend for bars. According to what I'm reading, the new trend is you live stream whatever the hell is happening at your bar and let some bitches watch from home. When I first read about it, I thought, well, that sounds very 2020. That sounds very COVID-y to me.

Although it would be awful empty in that bar in 2020. Oh, right. What the hell am I thinking? Yeah, okay. Just some mice running around? I suppose there was nothing to watch. Yeah, good point. A bar in Fort Lauderdale, a bar called the elbow room in a place called Fort Lauderdale. They're live streaming. Where is that? Like what part of the country is Fort Lauderdale?

Oh, well, this isn't a stupid news report, so I can say it. Florida. Yeah, okay, good. They live stream whatever the hell is going on at their joint, 24-7. 24-7. What the hell is anyone looking at between, you know, 2 and 7 a.m.? Anyway. The cleaning crew? Yeah.

They live stream what's going on at their bar all day long. They got multiple cameras set up. They've got a beach cam. They've got a patio cam. They've got a ladies room cam. They've got a band cam. So you can see whatever terrible cover band might have signed up. I've got a sun cam.

Would you guys like work? at a place that's 24-7 streaming? You imagine like, you're not going to be able to... I'm not listening right now. I'm not listening to your question because you dump such a terrible friggin' joke on us. That was a decent joke. I loved it. It was okay.

I mean, I wasn't brilliant. You did not pronounce his name correctly either. Cam! Right. Now I under... They've got a bar cam. What were you saying? What was the question?

I don't know if I'd like that 24-7 camera. I mean, certainly those people, like you mentioned the cleaning crew, Ashley, this is what made me think about it. Or somebody did, I'm sorry. They're not going to be able to cut any corners, are they? You mean if you were a customer, you would not like that? No, if I was an employee. An employee. That's a good point.

You know, every once in a while, I'd like to skim a little cash out of the register. Every once in a while, maybe I want to duck behind the kegs and smoke a joint. Every once in a while, I want to pick my nose. You know. We had an issue for a little bit where one of the dogs, just for whatever reason, he decided, I'm just going to poop in the basement whenever I want. It didn't matter how long you took them out, how many times. So I put a camera down there.

I needed to know which one. I had a suspect, but again, innocent until proving guilty. Yeah, you're watching, like, kind of, did it ever dawn on you that you're watching what might be considered, like, sick, doggy fetish porn? I'll tell you what, I just waited until I saw the dog get into the position. and then I wouldn't watch any further. That's the truth. Like, I don't need to see what's going on. Set up a camera to investigate which dog

was deusin in the basement. Yeah, so we could correct the behavior. Smart move on your part. At any point, did you suspect your son? No, but it was my wife. And so that's what was crazy. I never suspected. Oh, my God. It was weird. She's just down there. She put on a dog outfit, even.

And I thought it was one of the dogs for so long. I told Josh a couple days ago, and you were very understanding. Do you recall this, Josh. We were working after the show was over, something that Dana and Ashley aren't familiar with. But Josh and I were

working after the show, and I had to go to the men's room. And I came back and I said to Josh, I said, Jesus, I'm so embarrassed. And he said, what happened? I said, well, I went into the men's room. I took down my pants and my underwear and I made a deuce, but I said, for Christ's sake, I forgot to get on the toilet first. I got to admit something, I lied.

I tried to make him feel better by saying, oh, that happens all the time. But it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. Anyway, this bar in Fort Lauderdale, 24-7, they offer up this live stream. Yeah, good point about if you're an employee, for Christ's sake, you're not going to be able to get away with anything. Well, I brought up the camera because it inadvertently would catch my son and his friend, because our basement basically doesn't matter how many times we've repaired it,

it gets destroyed from him and his friends running around down there. Why are they so disrespectful? They're just morons. and anything. And this is, you mentioned a son earlier. This is Cam. No, a different son. Oh, a different son. My God's son? Yeah, I forget the kid's name. He's the one that still lives at home. So did the little six, seventh, eighth grade kids know they were being watched by a secret? Oh, yeah, they know. Oh, but they, I mean, it's completely obvious at sitting there. And he knew why it was down there. But so I would be able to catch him going, hey, did you notice that the dog

took a dump downstairs? Like, no, I didn't notice whatsoever. So he would just be lazy and not pick it up. And I'm like, well, you know, I got that camera down there. Or when he was supposed to do certain things, I could catch him. So he is my employee cutting corners, and I've been able to catch him on that thing. I was going to get rid of it now that the dog doesn't do it anymore, but I'm leaving it down there just so I can catch him not doing what he's supposed to. Typical.

And he's too dumb to figure it out. Oh, no. Oh, I didn't notice that giant steaming. Yes, he's stepping over it. Yeah, the horrible smell. No, I didn't notice anything. Yeah, right. traffic cone on it so no one stepped out of than removing it.

Kids love that bit to ignore. And he's such a bad liar. It was easy. So, you know who else probably isn't crazy about a 24-7 live stream of this neighborhood bar? And that would be some of the drinkers. Yeah, I would not like that. Or the cheaters. Yeah.

Don't take your side piece to this frigging bar. Everybody's watching at home. Yeah, I mean. What were you saying, Ashley? I wouldn't like that. Like when I was going to the bar, way too much, like seven days a week kind of vibe. I would not like if someone was sitting at home. Like, here she comes again.

Right. Oh, she's my favorite character on the show. Does she have nowhere else to go? Someone's calling Alcoholics Anonymous or whatever and turning you in. Yep. Jiu Jitsu Jesus said that he has been to the elbow room. The elbow room. And Fort Lauderdale.

It's called Florida. Florida, okay. Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, I can do it. It's starting to bother me a little bit, but I can say it. He's been there, and he said it's nothing but boobs and booties. Oh, so it might have kind of a dirty vibe. Yeah, maybe that's why they threw those in there.

Oh, well, that makes sense. If this is not your average roadhouse and it's got a TNA vibe, well, that would make perfect sense. I was looking up whether or not some bars do it here, and there are some. And it's for bands, like I mentioned. And also there was some billiard tournaments. Oh, yeah. I think in Coon Rapids, Ashley. Yep, my husband watches those all the time.

That is like what his favorite thing to do with his free time. And it'll be like complete strangers. Usually it's... Wait a minute now. I have an interest in this. So he watches just average schmows play pocket billiards? Yeah. Local bars too?

Or is it just kind of wherever? He always watches CRs. They have a live stream. Okay, yeah, I didn't know if I'd be able to say it or not. But that's the exact one I was talking about. There's a bar called C.Rs? It's a pool hall. But, you know, pool hall, bar, restaurant situation.

Well, that sounds fun. I mean, really honestly, because I'm also a fan of pocket billiards. So he just watches regular dicks playing pool. Yeah, there's one specific table that always has a live stream going. So he'll pull it up. And I'm like, oh, who are you watching? Because sometimes we have buddies that play in tournaments over there. And they live stream those.

And I'm like, oh, who's that? I don't know. This dude and this dude. Well, that sounds fun. Now that we're having this conversation, I think the old alleries in St. Paul used to stream a little bit of their daily activities because it was T&A. Yeah, things had to change.

Right, right. I know what you're talking about. I was very popular at that bar for a while. Very popular. Now, doesn't the Bunny Ranch, the famous brothel in Nevada, don't they have a, like, they stream the lobby? I don't know. TV show. And I don't think I'm confusing the two. I thought they had a live stream as well.

You may be right. So, I mean, this isn't anything wildly new, I guess, but the trend is gaining steam to live stream your bar all day, every day. How many years now, Nick, have they talked about putting cameras in here? 20? Yeah, I don't even know. Back when our first boss was our boss the first time, they talked about throwing a live stream Oh, you mean not security cameras. Yeah, just like, just during the show, which would be incredibly boring. I don't know if people would want to watch that.

People love that kind of stuff. They do? Yeah, they really do. I wouldn't watch us. I think. Yeah, I know what you're talking about now. So there'd be cameras pointed out our faces all day long. Yeah, there'd be like a couple of static cameras.

Oh, I think it would. Of course, nothing ever gets done around here. We things sit on the back burner for decades. Oh, and I mean decades, I think it would be kind of fun and interesting to see our facial expressions and things like that. I think if we have any money, we should, and we don't have any money, so it's not even worth bringing up. We can't even get the mics to work. You know what, it would be, we'd have to throw the date on the screen like in a lower third. Otherwise, people would like, oh, this must be an episode from a couple days ago.

I see Josh is wearing that same sweatshirt. There's no way that he wore that five days in a row. Yeah, you wouldn't like that bit if we had camera. I don't like being on camera. I mean, I wouldn't turn it. If that's what they wanted to do with people in interest, that's cool. But yeah, at the same time, being on camera is not my favorite. So would you guys change, like, your appearance at all, meaning would you dress a little better or not wear the same thing every day?

No, no, not at all. I've worked at a station that had cameras on us all the times and I still wear the same clothes every single day. I probably wouldn't wear sweatpants. Oh, nobody can see your legs. Well, we'd have an Ashley leg cam. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brought to you by Haynes. By popular request.

Everyone else could watch you pump. Oh, yeah, that's true. Maybe you could get some sort of endorsement with, I don't know, what's a breast pump company. Mom cozy. Yeah, Mom cozy. Ramtuckie. She just did something similar to what I mentioned where they had a cat peeing in the tub. They didn't know which cat, so they put a camera in there to see which one.

There's three of them. Turns out it wasn't a good look when they forgot that there's a camera pointing at the shower when they have people over. Feel free? Jump on in. Oh, yeah. Some customers, I would imagine at the elbow room in Fort Lauderdale, some customers probably aren't wild about the idea of cameras pointed at them every time they walk into the joint. I mean, my favorite neighborhood bar, I don't know how many years ago this was now at the Wise Ed American Legion, they put in windows.

For many years, there was not a single window in the bar. You couldn't tell if it was July, December, nothing, you couldn't, there was no windows. And when they decided to finally put some windows in, some of the older drinkers, now these guys are dead by now, but some of the older drinkers in there, they were pissed off because they didn't want anyone to be able to look in and see them in there, their boss, their wife, I think it would be depressing in there without windows. Yeah. Oh, I loved it. Everybody smoked. You could barely breathe.

It was awesome. It was the most perfect joint on earth. But, yeah, the older guys were like, I don't want my wife to be able to look in here. You know, they were pissed. They got over it, and then they died. I like how shotgun Messiah Jesus, yeah, phrase this. Imagine how many people are going to get cold played with that live bar looking. Yeah, absolutely.

What does that mean? You know, the infamous cold play video, the kiss cam. Oh, oh. Oh, the guy hanging on the side piece. Yeah. I think it would be fun if you knew your buddies were there to watch them and see him just get shot down left and right by chicks everywhere. Yeah, and you can, if you, this is a free service to live stream this bar,

but if you want sound, you got to pay three bucks a year or something. And I wonder the quality of the sound. I would love to be able just to eavesdrop on every conversation. And like Dana said, your buddy. he's in there hitting on a gal. I want to hear the lies that he tells her. Yeah. I would doubt that the audio is terrible.

It could be very good. Oh, yeah? Like, I have an old doorbell camera, and the audio on that, I can pick up neighbors across the street talking. It's crazy how good that microphone is. So there you go. I mean, we all should probably keep in mind everywhere we go, everywhere. Keep in mind you're probably being watched.

Oh, yeah, I'll tell my kids that all the time. Right. And that's good to know. I've, even at my age, every once in a while, I dial back my behavior and then think, okay, wait, what if there's a video camera? I sometimes think about that with, like, my smart speaker, because it'll record questions you ask, right? So you say, hey, smart lady, and whatever question you have, it can record those.

You can go back and listen to them. So I used to just to double check nothing inappropriate was going on. And sometimes, you know, the questions would be pretty funny. You know, a lot of make a fart noise, make a fart noise over and over and over again. But I think about that too, like there's been people who have been caught in crimes talk, discussing things in their smart speaker or smart television. Smart speaker and smart television. Oh. Oh, people are saying they're sporting events like youth sports you can stream.

I know they videotape everyone now, it seems. Boy, I wish I watched. Oh, I brought the. this up. I watched an Egan football game, a live stream. And those announcers, I don't know if they listen to the show or anybody that knows them, do an awesome job. I mean, it's really, really good. Oh, yeah? And they're calling a random house league eighth grade football? No, this was the Egan High School football team. Oh, oh, oh. I mean, they had graphics on the screen. Both guys were really engaging. I mean, I expected it just to be a static camera somewhere pointed at the field. And we

were watching just to see what time we had to leave to go pick up the kid. And it was awesome. Like Clay Matt Vick's old interns and whatnot. Honestly, these guys were really good. I could see watching that every week. That's awesome. All right, there you go. You know, off air before we cracked the mics, because of this article about a bar that

live streams everything, I was, Ashley and I had just begun a conversation about drinking. And then we had to go live. So now we can bring it to the air and bring it to our listeners. I was going to ask Ashley a question because amongst the four of us, you and I were quite easily the ones who came closest to treatment. Yeah, definitely. I was going to ask Ashley this question as a fellow somewhat recovered, hard, irresponsible drinker.

Did you ever get so drunk that your appearance, shocked someone? I don't know if it's shocked somebody else but it has definitely shocked me. You've looked in the mirror

and said, oh my damn. Oh yeah, like open your eyes. You see photos the next day pop up on social media. You're like, oh, God dang it.

I thought of, this is why I wanted to ask you the question. One night, one day, went out, you know, whatever, 10 o'clock in the morning

and you get into the drink and and you keep going and going and going. On this particular night, so day, I started about 10 o'clock in the morning. I think I got home around 1 a.m. And my girlfriend at the time, when I entered the bedroom, she said, oh my God, at the sight of me because I was just so disgusting looking and my face was like falling off of my skull. and just so I wanted to ask you, did you ever shock a loved one with your appearance? Okay, sorry, I ran a little late here.

Let's go ahead and bust out that 5K a day keyword. It's all part of your shot at winning $1,000. That was my knuckles. Yeah, you got every single one of them there. That was higher pitched. I wonder if the microphone changed that. It's your shot at winning 1,000. The number is 95819.

you text the number 95819, followed by the keyword, which is prize, P-R-I-Z-E. 9-58-1-9. Lent out of ideas. Pries. Are we running out of words? I guess we're running out of words. You can win a prize. We'll text you back.

I guess that's where they're going with that, isn't it? We'll text you back to confirm. You should know that data and messaging rates may apply. Don't be a total loser. with the texting and the driving. Good luck, Gibronies. It's a 5K a day. Oh, man, there you go, Cubby. I'm trying to remember the last time I've been drunk. I was real close when we went on a family trip to Boston earlier this year. Close to drunk. Yeah, I was as close as you can get. I wasn't drunk. The next day, do you suffer from something close to an overhang? Yeah, just almost.

That's how I knew I wasn't drunk. Well, that's not the only indication, but I was confident I wasn't drunk because it didn't mess me up the next day. I can't remember either, Josh. Obviously, it was before you were pregnant. Oh, yeah. When you, because you guys tried. Yes. When you were trying, did you stop drinking?

I slowed down a lot. I definitely wasn't getting drunk. So you waited until you knew that's when you decided, okay, I'm quitting it. Yep. And I found out really early, like four weeks and a day. It's kind of funny. I got a text message from a listener who said, man you guys are hilarious how Jurassic this program can be at times oh no what did we do

five 10 minutes ago we were discussing the possibility of cameras in studio the guys like everybody friggin doesn't what's the matter what you did it I know people were saying like kdwb does it I just more meant like we've been they've been talking about it here for so long yeah it'll never happen they're just busted our balls we're poor we're just alone yeah we're we're broke they're just that's all it really is and I know like now with technology, we could probably spend like 300 bucks and get a decent enough situation. I have a lot of the equipment that would work for, the camera switching and everything. Yeah, you're right. We don't even have that. Who does it? Oh, like KDWB does it. Nobody cares

about KDWB. That's not true. Back to bars real quick. Then I suppose we got to take a break. The bar life, that's the best. I still love just the vibe of walking on into your favorite. neighborhood bar. You know what ruins it usually? When one of my buddies says something. Just open their mouth? All they got to do is just open their friggin' stupid mouth. Then I want to go right back home. I don't know why they got to ruin it every time. Just don't say anything. You were telling, I hope you don't mind me bringing this up, I don't think you will. But you were telling me there's a particular guy at the bar who you can't tell a story because he has to get a joke in every four words you say.

You did a good impersonation because I know exactly what you're talking about. I think everybody probably has that guy in their friend group or girl, I guess. I've never met a girl that's like that, but certainly guys. You cannot, as Eddie Murphy said when imitating Bill Cosby all those years ago, you cannot get through a story. You can't get through one story sometimes at my favorite neighborhood bar, because every four words, Josh, just tell us, random story. I'll imitate what I'm talking about.

Just tell any story and I'll... I saw an article the other day about there's a haunted house school. How do you saw an article? Like there's an article and you take a saw and you cut it and have... Is that how you saw an article? That was about this... Right, you guys? Did you hear that one? It's about a haunted house school where they teach you how to scare people

and they say the goal is to make people. I'll give you a mirror if you want to scare people. You'll scare yourself. That's what'll happen. If you want to scare people, what were you saying now? Can you imagine? Oh, my God. I know exactly. Sometimes it's like, you know, this isn't supposed to be a funny story.

I was trying to share something to you guys. I mean, can we just get through five minutes of conversation? Just five, three, give me one minute. Give me one minute. I just want to pick up the entire bar table and just break it over his head. It's exhausting. Give some of the boys a chance to talk. That's insufferable.

What other stories do you have to tell? I don't even want to say anything. All right. We'll take a little break, Ski. It's just your average F'n Thursday. That's all it is. I mean, and we're going to try to push our way through like any other regular schmuck. Thanks for listening to the program.

Have asked morning show. They are in an alternate reality than ours. They are in that rock and roll rock reality. They surround themselves with these. professional dick has. And I'm not even really sure if they're aware. I don't think they're aware of how much they suck. 93X rocks.

I'm starting off the day, Cubby, feeling like a stupid idiot. Last night, for only the second time in my life, I walked out on my bar tab. And I feel like a damn jackass over it. Walked out on my bar tap. I mean, it was only a few Steve Weisers, but I just don't like the idea of making the bartender's job any harder than it already is. So I'm going to catch hell tonight. when I walk into the joint.

How'd that happen? I just walked out. You forgot? Yeah, just forgot. That's what I'm, yeah. I mean, how do you pay there? How do you pay? Is it like, you know, where they bring out the little computer deal?

No, no, no, no. You know, hand him a card. You know, I went to the bar, ordered a couple of beers, went back later, ordered a couple more beers. There was a special event last night in the dining room, a celebration of life. So I was kind of pinballing between the dining room and the bar. and it wasn't until I woke up this morning that I realized I walked out on my bar tab only the second time in my life that's like the best possible scenario though for walking out on your bar tab they already have your card

information so you didn't make their life any harder oh okay I appreciate that yeah I'm sure they would have been good right there yeah probably charge and most places have a thing to say if you forget to close your tab we add on a 20% tip and you just go pick up your car the next day I didn't know any of these things. Yeah, I don't know. Sure. This is my regular bar, the Wise Ed American Legion. I know every swing and D in the joint. I doubt I'm going to be 86th for this. I will get my balls busted a little bit. More than anything, I guess the reason I bring it up is I am just becoming so forgetful and more and more every day. And I wasn't in good shape to start, if you know what I'm saying. I've always been forgetful.

So for it to only be getting worse is concerning. I've been feeling the same way. I think a lot of it has to do with, well, A, I'm getting older. I'm now 40. But B, there's just so much information to process every single day. It's just nonstop with news and checking in on things and reading stories and trying to keep track of everything gets exhausting for me. And my wife bust my balls about it because I'll have to ask her like three times.

Like, what are we, what's going on tonight again? I can't remember. I'm not trying to freak you out. But you just said that. You just got done saying that. You said it twice in a row. What's the most important or significant thing you've ever forgotten about? A kid.

A child. Yeah. My wife is more guilty of that than I am. Where did you tell us about the moment? So for me, it wasn't as bad. My wife left her at a, like my wife left the building she was at. And it's a little more understandable. She worked there and there was a daycare at her.

her work. Oh. And she just left, you know, forgot that the kid was there. Made it all the way home? My wife still wakes up in the middle of the night and cries about that. And this happened 20 years ago. So the child was completely safe in the daycare room of your wife's workplace. She got all the way home before she realized the child.

No, she was maybe halfway home and realized it. So the kid, she never knew. And it was so we forgot the same one. And she always jokes it's because she's my daughter, because she's the middle child, right? She just thinks she doesn't exist in the family for that reason. There was another time, so we were at Target, and we both had to go to the bathroom, so I told her she's maybe five. Like, all right, as soon as you're done, if I'm not done for whatever reason,

wait right here. All right, when you get out, just wait right next to the bathroom. And so I got done, I beat her, and I completely forgot she was in the bathroom. I walked over to my family, and I was like, hey, where's the kid? It's like, you were supposed to watch her. So I went back into her credit. She was just standing there going, what the heck is taking this guy so long? In the men's room.

No, she was standing outside the bed. Outside the men's room. Yeah. 651-989-93-93, if you want to tell us the most significant or important thing you've ever forgotten about. I used to forget to pay my bills quite often. For many years, I'd forget to renew the tabs on my motor vehicle. I'd forget to pay my car insurance, boat insurance. If there's an important task in life, I have smooth forgotten about it.

Yeah. Same here, especially lately, but that's not my fault. You've got other things on your mind. Yeah, well, my brain is literally like when you're pregnant, it changes. I know there's a bunch of science words to go with it, but pregnancy brain is a real thing. So something changes, and yeah, I forget everything all the time. The one thing I'm really guilty of lately is forgetting to close the freezer. Close the freezer.

To the point where my husband has put a sticking. note on the fridge. And then, so it's one of those drawer freezers. So then when you pull the drawer out, there's another sticky note on that part that says, hey, don't forget the freezer. And then there's one, even

in the ice tray, because I usually grab ice in the morning, that says, seriously, don't forget to close the freezer. You're letting all the cold air out. And I've already, you know, I forgot last night. And again, I know a $25 dollar bar tab or whatever isn't the end of the world,

but it bothers me because it shows that I'm only getting worse in this department. I once forgot to go to work. You guys ever forget to go to work? No. I've gone to work by accident or started to drive there just not paying attention or whatever. Oh, yeah. On a Saturday morning or something. Yep.

I'll just wait. I'm going the wrong way. What am I doing? And this would have been a lot of fun, I'm sure. Well, at least I pictured. that it would have been fun. It was here at the radio station. It was a good 20 years ago or so,

because as Josh's uncle would say, Marion Gorbiak, star goal scorer for the Minnesota Wilde was involved. He was the top goal scorer in town, Marion Gorbiak. And the sales department approached me and said, hey, you know, this Saturday afternoon, would you like to make an appearance alongside Marion? Agarik, of course, is the real pronunciation.

but Josh's uncle like to make up different pronounced. Would you like to make an appearance with Marion Gabbarick this weekend at a bar or something like that? And, you know, he will be signing autographs and you'll be giving away tickets to the Limp Biscuit concert or whatever. And I said, well, yeah, that sounds kind of cool, you know. He's the hot shot in town. And at the time, I was pretty crazy about the man bear pigs. Said, sure. All right, fine.

Two o'clock this Saturday at Big Dave's Beer Hall in Lionel Lakes. or whatever. Sure. That Saturday afternoon, I'm mowing the lawn and my cell phone beeps and I pick it up and the sales staff representative said, well, where the hell are you? Once I'm mowing the yard. What do you need? Well, you're supposed to be here with the Mary and Gabbarick and then this totally forgot. Oh, no. It was already, you know, 40 minutes or so into the two-hour appearance and I said, do you need me to drive all the way to line all that. And they said, no, just forget it. And they hung up on me. They were pretty upset with me. I was upset with myself. Just forgot all about it. And it was two or three days only between when they told me to be there and when the event actually happened. H-back delivery, Jesus, went on a school

trip to Washington, D.C., stood in the school parking lot for an over an hour when they got back. A friend's dad saw him standing there and came and brought him home. He said his parents' faces when he finally got home, priceless. They forgot to pick him up. son was coming back from Washington, D.C. Jesus. You're not joking, though, Ashley. I mentioned it before. That pregnancy brain, my wife warned me about it,

and that is a real thing. Her mind was completely different during that time. Yeah, it's getting pretty bad. And they say it takes up to two years to psychologically get back to where you were before pregnancy. Huh? Like, that's cool. That's cool. Well, then, okay, well, then explain this to me. My aunt has 14 children.

Oh, she's just screwed forever. So she's had pregnancy brain, and their ages range between at this point, I don't know, was 66 years old and 35 years old or so she's had pregnancy brain her entire life? Oh, my gosh, yeah, that's awful. She probably doesn't know any different by now, though. I forgot she had that many kids. That's a ton of kids right there. Even if I had no effects of pregnancy brain, if I was a woman's, I think I would claim it anyway because you can get off the hook for a lot of responsibilities.

I can't do that. I've got pregnancy brain. It does kind of help, yeah, definitely. If you remember my forgetfulness almost killed a house pet 15 or 20 years ago. Or girlfriend's cat? Yeah. Well, not my wife now. If you haven't heard the story, you know, my wife and her,

I have known each other very well for 35 years. We just got married two years ago, but we've known each other for 35 years in different capacities. And, oh, it's got to be 15, 20 years ago. She used to travel a lot for work, and she called me, being one of her best friends, she called me and said, hey, look, I'm going to San Diego for four days. Will you stop by my townhouse every day and feed my cat? And I said, well, yeah, I like that cat. Big Nuts was his name. Were that the real name? Yeah, big nuts. Cute.

I'm kidding. I know. She said, please, you'd be doing me a big favor. I said, of course, I like your cat. Well, on the fourth day, on the day that my now wife, then friend, was returning home from San Diego. I'll never forget it. I'm driving down Highway 55 and Medina. And I said to myself, oh, my God.

I had completely forgotten. completely to stop by at all. And she's coming home that evening. I raced straight to her townhouse, and I remember saying out loud to myself, please, Big Nuts, or whatever the cat's name was, please don't be dead. I'll never, ever be forgiven for this.

Luckily, Big Nuts was alive. But when I opened up that door after he had been alone without any water or food for three and a half days, I mean, soon as I turned that key, I heard that cat go, Mio! Oh, God, meo! He was so frigging hungry. When I'm pouring the food into the bowl, he's climbing up my leg.

He just, he was, he couldn't believe. I was like a hero in his eyes, even though, really, I was the villain. Yeah, you never told him, did you? Did you blame it on my? I never, I never said dick to that. As far as he knows, it was mom. As far as he knows, he was abandoned by his mother, exactly. Ashley, is anybody weaponized your forgetfulness?

What do you mean? Meaning like they never told you something, but then when you say, well, you never told me and they say, well, you know, you've just been so forgetful, I did tell you. Oh, 100%. Yeah, that's my husband's favorite thing to do. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, like yesterday, I noticed there was heavy whipping cream that should be refrigerated. It was in the cupboard.

I was like, hey, I was like, what did you do here? because I'm very lucky he cleans up. If I'm cooking, he cleans up after me. So I was like, I know I didn't do that because I don't, I don't clean. And he was like, no, that was definitely you. Come on. I wouldn't do something like that. It's, you're pregnant.

It's your brain. Pregnancy brain kind of sounds a lot like old folks brain. It's like, all right, I don't think it was me, but I'll let you have this one. In the years leading up to my dad checking out, he was doing things like pudding. He'd make himself a sense. much put the salami in the cupboard and then put the bread in the fridge and then wonder what that smell is a couple three days of what's rotting salami that you have in the cupboard you bastard this person got left sleeping under a church pew for hours after a Sunday night service

their dad was the minister so he had keys to get back in to go retrieve them parents for getting kids that's a good one that's a big one that's a big moment I've never been forgotten as far as I can remember. Oh, yeah, we were forgotten a few times. It was, you know, my brother and I at football practice. And football practice ends. And everyone else slowly leaves. And the lights on the field are turned out.

Oh, my gosh. And the lights at the adjoining high school are turned out. And we're standing. And now we're sitting with you, you know, you sit on your football helmet. Yeah. What in that? Practice. And then the old man would roll up.

Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm sure my brothers have been forgotten, but never me. Are you sure it was forgotten? You've told the stories about your brothers. Maybe it was more abandoned. Yeah, they were just leaving him. I'm not fat.

I'm aerodynamic. Jesus used to drive long haul truck. Did it for 25 years. Oh. work your, here's a landscaper who texted in, Josh, and said, one day he woke up and went to work with his slippers on as opposed to his work boots. That's that fatigue forgetfulness. That'll make you look like a damn jackass.

Hard work will do that to you. Drove three hours east. He was supposed to be going to Seattle. Boy, what's the line from dumb and dumber? Boy, that John Denver was full of shit, right, about the Rocky Mountains. We've been talking about forgetfulness. I know we have a guest or two coming in this morning. but I've forgotten who they are.

Chanel Klein? Yes. See Willie Miles. Wonderful. And Glenn Perkins, too, at 7.30. Glenn Perkins? At 7.30. Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, I don't know. Where will I be in a few years, Josh, if my forgetfulness continues at this clip? I'm not too worried about it because... You'd be putting a diaper on me. There was a... Maybe you don't remember, but there was a time shoot maybe 10 years ago.

I remember where you thought you were losing it because your memory was so bad. And that was noticeably bad for the rest of us. And that sense changed. So I bet it's going to bounce back. I don't recall. Was there a signature moment? No, there was just kind of a lot of moments where you would forget things in all aspects of life. It wasn't, you know, just in one particular thing.

And you think I've maybe improved since then? Quite considerably. Oh, well, that's good. Yeah. I'm glad you, I'm glad to hear you say that. I was a little disappointed in myself when I woke up this morning and realized I that could happen to anybody. Walked out on my stinking bar tab.

You know, I think it was local 34 G's brought up a good point. You hang out at a bar where the average age is in their 60s. It's happened before. Yeah, yeah, you're safe. Oh, yeah. I certainly know I'm not the only one. Oh, of course, yeah. It's especially common on college campuses.

I remember the bar who used to hang out at the U of M. You'd go back on Sunday morning to retrieve your, debit card, your credit card, whatever, and they would take out this book. Imagine like a book of sports cards back in the day, you know, and they just had 50 to 60 cards slot it in each of them, page through. All right, what's your name? Did any of these look familiar? Forgotten IDs?

Forgotten IDs and credit cards, too, you know. So you have to go back and retrieve your debit card from the night before, and they just had stacks and binders full of them from people of just... College kids. College kids for getting a closer tab. Too many yag bombs. Exactly. Oh, I'm so lucky.

never forgotten my card somewhere because I'm the type of person that is just going to like cancel it and get a new one instead of going back. I'm so lazy. There is kind of a feeling of shame a little bit when you go in the next morning. You're clearly hung over. Yeah, yeah. I think I left my debit card here last night. That's probably not a terrible idea though, Ashley.

In case somebody just said, oh, I'm going to write that one down. Yeah, exactly. I don't trust anybody. Yeah. Your pregnancy, lazy. That's what you are. You've got a case of pregnancy laziness. Oh, so tired.

All the time. I'm just so sleepies. One of our listeners was left by his family at the Apple River. Oh, that's not a good place for a kid to be left. Oh, no. You're going to see some stuff. Left outside in the elements at the Apple River. What?

Wait a minute. Willie Water. A listener we've mentioned once or twice before. Willie Water. He claimed he spent the night outside. He slept outside overnight in Wisconsin. Oh my gosh.

Did they ever come back? Willie? That's like a life-changing moment right there. Are you serious? I mean, so they left you overnight? Get back to us Willie Water. They left you overnight. Could they not find?

Neither of your parents realized, yeah. Were you lost? This is a conversation on forget-fewater. not being lost. So I want to know more about this one. All right. Joe Dirt situation? Oh, that was sad.

That was. That was very sad what they did with Joe Deer Tay. The 93X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer. I think you should too.

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Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Hey there, I'm Paula Pan. I help people make the smartest money decisions possible.

Joe, you know what's been great about being a saver? For money in the bank. And that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield. Pre-pandemic, money was making zero. Now it's actually making something. but that's starting to go down, down, down. I love how we can play the fact that inflation's been really high as a positive, but if you're a savor, you know what that means?

Sibing silver lining, Joe, silver lining. Afford anything. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. 93X half-assed morning show. Isn't that a religious show with all the Jesus and Jesus talk? Oh, hell no. Just kidding. They suck.

93X. C. Willie Miles and Janelle Klein are here. We always appreciate their company, and we, of course, appreciate our listening audience for hanging out with us this morning. Anything going on, Janelle or C. Willie Miles? Anything we're missing over the last time we saw you? No, man, I've been off all summer

just dealing with the celebrity golf tournaments that I've been playing. Oh, my God, he's having to deal with the celebrity golf tournaments. It's so hard being a celebrity. It is, isn't it? That sounds beautiful, C. Willie Miles. That sounds magical. It's been great. Yeah, glad to get a chance to do that. I know. I mean, it's a lot of fun. I mean, you play with some scrubs.

But at the end of the day, you know, you're there to have fun. Does it frustrate you when they put you with a golfer who doesn't match your skill set? Absolutely not. I love the game, and I love anybody that wants to play it. You don't mind if a dork like me shows up and I'm hitting nothing but ground balls to the first baseman, you know, all afternoon. All I ask is that you don't get upset because I would tell you the same thing I tell anybody that plays with me. You ain't that good to be that mad. I think you said that about your wife. Yeah. Why did you say that? She might be listening. Because I like to start trouble. You like to stir the pot. What about you, Janelle Klein? I'm kind of boring. I don't know.

I drove in that storm last night that we were talking about. That was wild. You were driving in it. Yeah, I was at dinner with some friends, and I dropped my friend off. She was in, from out of town. She didn't have a car, so I brought her home. We did not pay any attention to the forecast. And, yeah, we were in the middle of it. It was not great, not great. Usually in that situation, you got a camera with you.

That's right. I should have taken out the blue jacket and started a little work. So I suppose it probably takes a lot to scare you weather-wise. For God's sake, they put you on the front lines of hurricanes and whatnot. Yeah, but I don't know. Yeah, I feel like they were, they're always good. about protecting us and making sure we're safe. I mean, you're out there.

You're with professionals. Well, right, exactly. I mean, trees are down. Power was out. It was wild if anyone was out last night. It was. You got caught up in the motor vehicle in the middle of that storm. Yeah, that would have been something.

This information is just for Ashley. Hey, Ashley. What's up? My little dog was real nervous when the storm was rolling in. And then we put her little thunder coat on. And she was a completely different. They make one small enough? Yeah.

That is a tiny dog. For a little chipmunk and we put the thundercoat on her. Cute. She felt much better. What's a thundercoat? Don't bother. I'm not going to explain. Where can I get one?

Like I said, that conversation was just for me and Ashley. I'm not going to talk about a thundercoat in front of my bros. You guys will kick my ass for that. That's a good way to get your ass kick. If your bros find out your dog has a thundercoat. All right. And you bought it. Yeah.

My money. Right. With my money. All right, we love to bust Janelle's chops around here because she's very unique. She lacks knowledge on a couple of subjects that a lot of folks, that a lot of folks are quite passionate about. And I'm not being critical. You've got your own interests.

You don't have to be like everybody else. But we do bust Janelle's chops a lot around here because she doesn't know a damn thing about movies. She hadn't heard of Hulk Hogan until a number of years ago. another man is dead. She had never heard her Rick Flick. Things like that. You've heard it, but we get on her case. Wow.

I was just reading about some people, Janelle Klein, out there, Summers. This is very interesting. People sharing some of the totally, it says you're totally normal things, but I should say common. I think the word common makes more sense. People discussing the very common things

that they've never done. Very common things. that they've never, like for example, one individual out there said, I never learned how to ride a bicycle. Wow. My wife is one of those people. She never learned to ride a bicycle. Nope.

Never had a bike. We've tried to get her on one a couple times. She just refuses to do it. Really? Is there a backstory there? Just never had one. Growing up, they never got her a bike. She never learned.

Well, for Christ's sake, that's really interesting to me. Yeah. She looks athletic. Well, it surprised me because... Oh, I bet if you put her on a bicycle and taught her how, she could be in Seattle in an hour and a half. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I know I've said, you know, you could figure it out. You know, I'll just, I'll tell her I'm holding onto the seat the whole time. I let her go and... And there she is. I'm the windwalker. I'm back here. I got you. Don't worry.

Then I'll say, look, honey, you're riding a bike. It's just that easy. And she, yeah, she's not comfortable. So she won't even try it. She tried it one time. And, I mean, she wasn't that bad. She got going a little bit, but she kind of gave up. Well, now, this...

It's scary. This sounds to me more like maybe she had an opportunity as a child, but was fearful, and she still carries that fear. No, she just has never, never done it. I was with her the first time she ever got on a bike. She just hadn't done it. Well, get her an e-bike then. Now you don't got to pedal anymore, right?

Get her an e-bike. That's really interesting to me. So common things that some people have never done. Feel free to text us, 651, 989, 93, if you've got an example. Never swum. Never gone swimming. That's crazy. I love swimming.

I wonder where they're from. That's a good question. Desert? That's a good question. I mean, that'd be crazy from here. Yeah. Obviously. I've never been a very good swimmer.

We've traded those stories before. never been a good swimmer, never stayed up all night. Hmm. I used to be absolutely terrified of doing that. Oh, yeah. Why were you afraid to stay up all night? My parents told me that if you stayed up or 24 hours, you could have a seizure. And I think they did that.

So, like, I mean, so I wouldn't try to stay up all night. That's not a bad lie to tell a kid. Yeah, but it affected me when I went to sleepovers because I, oh my gosh. There were times where I would like, be sitting there crying. Oh, no. Because I thought, like, everyone wants to do an all-nighter, but, like, I don't want to die.

That's such a thing when you're a kid, you want to do an all-nighter. And then you realize, this sucks. My son just did one, his first one, about maybe three, four days ago. It's like five in the morning. You're all just struggling to keep your eyes open. Oh, he's been miserable.

But you don't want to be the first kid to tap out, you know? I told him so many times you're going to be miserable. Now he knows. Frame electric, Jesus, has never used a credit card. He's 39. Fornication, Jesus has never had cake. What? No. It's sexy time, Jesus. You have not lived. Never. Never had cake.

Never had cake last night? Me too. You died. You're dead. You're dead inside. Never. Here's a couple of folks. One. Never been to the state fair here in Minnesota. Never gone skiing. I don't think you're missing much with the skiing. You're missing out on the state fair. Yeah, you've got to go at least once. Up at the crack of dawn, she just said I'm 55,

never been to a drive-in movie. I haven't either. Yeah, I haven't either. We tried to go once, but it was, they canceled it because of the weather. Now, even when they were common, they were pretty few and far between. Yeah.

They were. I've been to a lot. What was one in your neighborhood when you were growing up? We went to the Valley High drive-in. I believe it's over in like the Lake Elmo Stewater area. Okay. And you were an east sideer, so that was relatively close to you. Yeah, yeah.

It was only about 15, 20 minutes away. I even went like me and my high school boyfriend. He lived in Wiper Lake and we would go all the time. It was awesome. Yeah, we went all the time when we were kids, but I'm not going to bust your chops over that. Like I said, even when they were common, it still was kind of a poke for most of us to get to the drive-in.

Never been to a live concert Is in this write-up Of the common things that some people have never done How many live concerts have you been to, Janelle? Well You just went to one a couple years ago I mean, I don't go that often Because I feel like you have to buy the tickets so far in advance, right?

And they're very expensive And not always. Yeah, I mean, I don't know how many I don't do it frequently. No, who does anymore? It's so damn a lot. Yeah. Give us some of the bands you've seen live.

Oh, God. Well, my last one was Madonna. Oh. That's great. Oh, wasn't that the one where she didn't go on stage until like 1145? And it was like 90 degrees in there. Remember how she wanted it? Oh, yeah.

Oh, you told us that. That's right. So, like, my friend and I were, like, taking our clothes off. I mean, everybody was. It was so hot in there. And she wanted it that way. She wanted it hot. Everyone was dying.

So would you say you've been to more live concerts and you've seen motion pictures? Probably. That would be a toss-up. That would be a toss-up. Who was the last live band you saw, She Willie Miles? Let me see. It might have been

last last, I go to so many concerts. You do? Yeah, because I'm, you know, I go down to the Dakota. Oh, sure. I just saw Men of Motown. But the last concert concert, I think I've been to,

out at Mystic Lake and it might have been Earth Wind and Fire. Dude. Nothing wrong with that. I love Earthwind. I have an uncle who has only been to one concert in his life. He's about ready. I think he's about ready to hit 70 if he hasn't already. One concert in his life and I always found this to be a great story.

He went to, and I wish Josh, I could think of her big single. But I remember the name. One night when he was a young person, he went and saw Melissa Manchester in concert. Hello. What was her? That was it. That's the one Melissa Manchester. And this guy's a retired police officer, like tough guy character. Right. There's one concert, Melissa Manchester. Would it be you should hear how she talks about you? You should hear how she talks about you. You should hear what she says. What she says?

Hey, we can change somebody's life right here. Straight crimping Jebus said I've never been mentioned on the radio. Well, now you have. Look at that. You can't say that anymore. This person has never been asked to fantasy football once. They're 47, never played fantasy. I'm so jealous. Dude, I love fantasy.

Never been asked to participate. Wow, that sounds kind of like your friend group sucks. So, you know, you've never seen too many movies. Right. You didn't follow the career of Hulk Hogan. No. Whatever. Right.

There are some people here. Never been to a wedding. What? I mean, if you're in your 50s or something like that, I would say, no kidding. If you're a young person, I mean, sure, there's a time where suddenly you're going to a dozen. Yeah, I'm just starting to get those kind of invites. But before, like, the last year, I only ever went to one. Let's be clear, though.

If you're not getting married, there's no reason to go. I wish. I like the better when you were trying to get some ads. action. Oh, yeah. Changes when you're committed. That's crazy. I'm just excited to go for

like whatever food they have. Sometimes the food can be good, but Josh is right. There's a window of time when you don't mind weddings, and that is when you're a young person and you're single and there's going to be all kinds of alcohol and drugs. You know what happens, Ashley, you get

the first round where your friends are getting married the first time, and then after divorces and they get married a second time. One of my best friends, I just, I had to stop. I couldn't go to his third wedding. I'm like, I can't do this anymore. I'll go to the first two.

I can't go to the third. Oh, for God's sake, yeah, at one point or another, you've got to draw the line. We've been discussing common things that some of us have never experienced, common things that some of us have never done. And I received the text message. Well, we've received quite a few text messages on the subject. We straight up asked folks, go ahead, text in if there's something really common

that you've never experienced. My favorite one is right here. I'm 38 years old, and I've never once been in trouble. That's gear grinding, truck driving Jesus. So I'm assuming he means with the police at school, his parents, all the different ways you can be. This guy never been in trouble. That fascinates me. Josh, I thought you were the straightest-laced some bitch in town, because you've only been in trouble once.

And that was when you skipped school or something. Yeah, a couple times. but at school it was because I was five minutes late to graduation practice. Oh, wow. Name another time where you were in trouble. Well, allegedly, uh-oh. Allegedly I was caught shoplifted.

Well, I wasn't even caught shoplifting, but allegedly I shoplifted a CD. I forget what it was, probably Pantera. No, it was Seal. I remember very well. A kiss from the Rose. A kiss from the Rose by the Seal. That doesn't sound right, but it was a long time ago.

Oh, I forgot about that. ever in trouble with your parents? Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. I mean, I never did any, I never, it was never like a sneaking out or anything real bad. It was, my parents were very strict. The things like grades and what. Or being a little late for family dinner or, yeah, not getting good enough grades.

Janelle, were you ever in trouble with your parents even once? Not really. God help us. But they were pretty laid back. Yeah. Yeah. You had a lot of freedoms. Yes.

That, that one, I love that one. I'm never, 38 years old, never once been in trouble. That's impressive. Condoms prevent Medi Van Cheeses is 43 never had White Castle. Not missing them, but. Oh, you don't like sliders? You don't like the white castle? What their chicken rings?

Get out of here. Nope. I like it. I'm a fan, definitely. I wouldn't say that I love it, but I like it. Almost lost my insides out. Oh. I love it.

One of our listeners is 30 years old and a male and never has even tried peeing standing up. I'm sorry. You know what? Good for you. 30-year-old guy never peed standing up. He says, I sit down. It's way more comfortable and quieter. It is. It is very comfortable sitting down for a little bit.

I got a good idea for this guy here. Never been on a boat. So I see we got to put this prick on our next booze cruise and scare the daylight's out of it. We're on fire, you know, something. We've got to scare the hell out of this. He's never been on a boat. You're the captain now, sir.

Yeah. Hobby photographer, Sheezer, has never been to a concert at a stadium, only the state fair. By the way, Daryl Hall just announced that he's going to be at the state fair this year. Sweet. Is that right?

Does he know how much it cost to get in? He should try to cover some of that for us. He should cover half of them. What if he had to pay to get in? No, no, I'm performing. Sure, everybody's performing. I get that one all day. We got to buy tickets to go for the station, so I wonder if he'd have to pay. One of our listeners has never once in their life eaten, ate whatever the proper word is, never ate fruit, ever. Your poor body, it's a fruit. He doesn't want to eat any fruit. It's like L. Michael's famously won't eat.

He won't eat vegetables. That stresses me out. That's like those people that say they like won't drink water. What do you do it? Never had a piece of fruit before. One more here. I just like the way this one comes off. 715 Wild Man,

Mild Man Jesus texted in to say, you know what? My brother's never eaten an orange or rode a bicycle. What a jabroney. Swamp stopping Jesus has never had a peanut butter sandwich and he said peanut butter is nasty. I eat peanut butter every day. How would you know?

It's probably one of my favorite. I just had a peanut butter sandwich the other day, man. That's a good. It's a lot of protein. It's good for you. I consume peanut butter every day, sometimes more than once a day. Same. Well, Janelle Klein, what are you going to do now? That's a good question.

I don't know. Is it going to be bananas hot again today? No. No. Really? No. We got a whole week. We're going to be screwed. Yeah. We had a good week coming up. Banana's hot. No, the misery is over. Oh, good. Tolerable, reasonable, livable temperatures now until the end of the damn week, all the way through Sunday.

Well, then. I don't know. I mean, I still don't have any plans. No plan. I don't know. It depends you ask about that weather situation. hilarious. She says no plans at all.

Thank you, Janelle. Thank you, she, Willie. Absolutely. Always. You too. The 93X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimp? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning.

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The Vince Show. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. The 93X half-assed morning show. They got their heads up their ass. On 93X. Our dreams are looking to kill us dead, and it has nothing to do with that jag off of Fred Kruger. Don't even start with that.

Who here has a lot of nightmares? I usually have a real keeper. I don't know, once every three, four months or something, I'll have a real deal nightmare. I've never had an actual nightmare. It's more like stress dreams. And very infrequently, I almost never remember dreams. That's friggin fascinating to me.

Either weird or stress dreams. Let me get back to that. Ashley, you said you have a lot of nightmares. Yes, I do. I guess at least like two or three a week. Two or three a week, a nightmare where you go, God, help us. What was that?

Oh, God. Or wake up crying, yeah. Really? Yeah, I think a huge part of it, though, recently is just the hormones. Okay, so this isn't a regular thing for you, your whole life. I guess I probably average one week.

when I was, before I was pregnant? Yeah, it was pretty common. I think I'm a really stressed out person and it really bleeds into my nightmares. Dana, nightmares. Oh, yeah, big time. Oh, yeah, you get, um. Don't you have night terrors? Night terrors.

I have occasionally, I haven't had them recently. Thankfully, knock on wood, I'll probably, you know, probably now come back. But, um, yeah, I occasionally get the night terrors where, like, I wake up screaming or, you know, I'm screaming in my sleep. And if I'm with somebody, like, if I'm sleeping next to my wife, she has to wake me up. And, Ashley, you've had sleep paralysis. Yes, that is the worst thing ever. Well, then you two might be in trouble.

Josh, tell me about, you really say you've never had a nightmare just a stress. What do you mean by that? A stress dream? It's always like a work-related thing where something's not, you know, like something's broken, which nowadays I don't have to be asleep for that, but something's broken. Okay. Something goes wrong on the show. I think folks understand the difference, I think.

And I know exactly what you mean. But not like you've had dreams of stabbing. I haven't had something like that. In your entire life, you're 50 now, aren't you? 50, yeah. You've never had those dreams where it's just blood thirsty. If I did as a kid, maybe, but I don't remember. As an adult, I haven't.

All of you are way more interesting on this topic than I anticipated. I have, I mean, I've had the one where you show up in your underwear. You know, you go to class or the one where you forgot to study for a test. I've had that before. Oh, yeah. Plenty of work dreams. You and I talk about our work dreams. Yeah, work dreams.

if I have one, like I had a weird one last night about a guy coming to town. One of the corporate guys we really like. I had a weird one about him, but nothing sexual. No surprise, analingus or anything like that. But outside of that, I almost never remember my dream. Wow, I have at least like three or four that are just permanently ingrained in my brain because of how much they messed me up. There's only two that I remember.

And one, I've discussed many times on the show. there are two dreams that I've had in my lifetime that I still remember every detail of. One was the Tom Brady dream. I think I had that dream, oh, 20 years ago, and I still remember everything about it. The other was a dream that I had when I was a little kid. I can maybe tell you about that later.

But real quick, a new study in England found that people who have a lot of nightmares are more likely to drop dead. Oh, wonderful. Sweet. What were you saying, Covey? You know the dream that a young man will have that's significant to a young man? Sure.

I remember that one. What do you mean? I remember the dream I was having the first time that ever happened. First time you had a wet dream. Yeah. Yeah, I remember it. And it was very odd. Tell us about it.

I'm a little scared to because it was weird. I was in a circus tent. Oh, yeah. And one of the, like the guys that was running this thing at a hot wife. Yeah. And I remember like a feeling, a tingling, and it just kept growing and growing like Pinocchio when he tells a lie. And that was my dream. And I woke up and...

You dream? By the way, was the hot wife you mentioned? Right? Yeah. Was her husband like a big Italian guy? He was. I've had that exact same dream. Are you serious?

Yeah. Her husband was a big Italian guy. Yeah. Was she very tall? Yeah. I've had the exact... I'm kidding with you. I was going to say this is.

I believe you. The look on your face was very believable. I'm a great actor. So in your dream, your penis was growing like Pinocchio's nose. Yeah, it just wouldn't stop. And then when you woke up, you had messed yourself. That's correct. But there wasn't any actual sex?

Nothing at all. Under a circus tent with a giant boner, an Italian man and his wife were watching you get a boner that continued to grow and then you woke up. That's exactly what happened. I've had that exact same dream. Get out of here. Did you really? I have not had that. No.

You got me again. Twice. I got him twice. Ashley. He hasn't been back to the circus since. You remember that dream. I do remember that one. Confused. You were confused when you woke up.

And I was so grossed out with my son. I was ashamed. Oh, I felt so guilty, Judge. You know what made it worse? It was at a sleepover. Oh, no. And I was lying on my buddy's floor, and I woke up, and I was so embarrassed. And I'm like, what do I do here? I don't know what to do.

You were taught so much penis shame. Yeah, I was. You were. You were just taught. that that is the dirtiest, filthiest little acorn-looking unit on planet Earth, and it should never be celebrated, and it should never be used. Outside of procreation. Outside of procreation.

That's correct. You were taught so much penis shame, and I feel for you. So did you have any idea what had just happened to you? Oh, yeah. We had had sex ed at that point. Sex ed. So I knew about it, the nocturnal omission. The circus cuckold dream, they're calling it.

Our listeners are calling it. the classic, the cliche circus cuckold dream. A study out of England found that people who have a lot of nightmares are more likely to drop dead. And they weren't kidding around with this research. They tracked people's lives for almost 20 years. Well, somehow these people volunteer. Yeah, I'll sign up for that.

You can track my everyday operations for 20 years. And the ones who had nightmares. at least once a week, Ashley. Oh, I'm screwed. We're three times more likely to drop on the street like a sack of turds dead. Just out of nowhere, just yurt, and you're gone. I always kind of thought that that would be the way I go out.

Something dumb like that. Does this count as a nightmare? Because I'm trying to think if I'm giving accurate information here. When I play Doom a lot, I would dream. I was playing Doom at night going through those hallways and whatnot, does that count? I have no idea. I think it's probably a little different. It's just because it was the same thing with Guitar Hero.

I fell asleep to colored dots, you know, approaching. Here's the thing. Your real life plays into, you're the type where your real life worries and stresses play into your dreams. You, I'll get there in a minute, because you said it just a few minutes ago. You have work, stress dreams. You worry a lot about this sideways operation that we have going on here. And so it plays into your dreams. You have a thing about Italian men and their wives.

Apparently so. That work for the circus. It played into your dreams. And then the last one you said, oh, you played a, I think everyone's had that deal where you play a video game or watch a movie. And then that night you dream of that experience. That's very common. It is still really interesting to me that you've never had that out of nowhere,

bizarre, horrible nightmare. When you finally have one, you're going to go, dude, what the hell was it? Yeah, I've never had one where I was scared. It was more stressed. And people are bringing this up. We've talked about this before. My sister-in-law had talked about when she was quitting smoking, she took one of those quitting smoking drugs,

and the dreams were out of control. And I brought it up, and we got so many texts saying, you wouldn't believe it. Yeah. You wouldn't believe. Nightmares. I shouldn't say just dreams. Right.

Terrible, terrible nightmares. I've heard the stories. You dream that you're just soaked in the blood of your victims and you're touching yourself and you're killing everyone in town. I've heard of those. That's why I'm surprised that you've never had a nightmare, Josh, because some of like the worst nightmares I've ever had, it's been because I've been on medication for something. And I know that you've taken medication for your epilepsy for years. So that surprised me that you haven't had any adverse.

side effects like that. Medication dreams. Maybe it does the other thing. It goes the other way. I don't know. Medication time, gentlemen. Medication time. Ashley, the clock is ticking on you. Three times more likely. Just to up and die if you have a lot of nightmares.

That's a lot. They say here, having lots of nightmares makes you age faster. Oh, great. So before they kill you, Ashley, you're just a Wrinkled old rosen bag. That's what comes first. The wrinkles, they say. If you have a lot of nightmares, you age faster.

Next thing you know, you're just a nutbag, just a wrinkled old nut bag. And then one day you'll be walking down the street and that'll be it. I'm going to be honest. I thought people had nightmares a lot more. I thought everyone was like me. Like I said, once every few months I'll have a keeper. This person said they had a dream. They dove down 20 some feet into a pool.

ran out of air and they woke up gasping. Oh, no. No. Oh, man. This wasn't a scary dream necessarily. It was a very sad dream I had one time. There was a couple years after we had to put my childhood dog down, and I had a dream that I wouldn't stop by my parents' house,

and they said, hey, go up your old bedroom. We have a surprise for you. And I went up there, and there was my dog, just happy and alive and waging his tail and excited to see me. And then I wake up, I'm like, Because, you know, that initial moment you wake up and you haven't quite fully realized that you're dreaming. Right. I'm thinking, oh, my dog's alive.

This is wonderful. No, it's just a dream. I've had that. I don't remember the details, but I've had that before where it was such a wonderful dream you wake up and go, son of a bitch. Yeah. This is real life. That was the life I want to be leading. I know.

I want to be hanging out with Cody. I've definitely had dreams like that. That's kind of strange. Have you guys ever been able to lucid dream? Yes. Loisted dream so you can control your dream. and fight my way out of it. I've been able to do that once.

All the time. I guess maybe a couple times here and there, but I remember one dream specifically, I really had control. And in this dream, I could jump really high and, like, kind of fly in a way. That's cool.

And it was the most fun I ever had. I was so angry when I woke up. When you have a great dream and you wake up, I don't care how old you get. It still sucks. You know what I mean? Yeah. When you realize that that's not really what,

going on. And you want to try to go back to sleep to try like keep the dream going. Oh yeah. I've done that. You think somehow, if you close your eyes, I can start it all over again. It never works. No. Ashley, lucid dreams. Okay. I can't say that I was in the middle of a dream and I was able to control the plot of the dream at all. But

almost every time I have a nightmare, I realize it and I can fight my way out of it. I can usually wake myself up. Yeah, you kick yourself. out at two. I've had conversations in my nightmares before like say I'm fighting a serial killer and I'll look at the serial killer and I'm like

I know I'm sleeping this is a dream and they'll tell they're like no no it's not and I'm like yes it is watch and I'll close my eyes and open them and I'm awake in my bedroom. Oh see I can't control the dialogue it's so crazy I love being able to do that. I'm unable

to control the dialogue of my dreams which is uh all right so here's Here's the final bit of information on how if you're a nightmare haver, a regular nightmare haver, you're going to die and you're going to die ugly. And suddenly, they say here it's because our bodies respond to the stress the same way they would in real life. When you're awake, stress slowly kills you. Well, it's the same when you're asleep. when you're asleep, you have these nightmares.

Your body is stressed by the nightmare the same way it is. It's stressed by your awake problems. And that's why you're more apt to have your arteries explode and die on the sidewalk. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Stress in real life is the same as stress in a dream, and it'll kill you. I guess I feel dumb for never thinking that the stress from the nightmares would affect me. That's not what makes you dumb.

Metal grinding. DeBurring Jesus said when he was on the quit smoking medication, he dreamtie slaughtered his family and put their heads on spikes outside of somebody. That'll cause a guy who wants a guy to want to have a cigarette at that point. Well, because your dream is usually supposed to wake you up once you do something like so drastic, like kill somebody. But when you're on that kind of stuff, no, you stay in the dream. Do you guys ever try and analyze your dreams and wonder why did I dream that? Maybe once in a while, sure. A drunk uncle firefighter Jesus said as a kid,

he had night tears with sleepwalking. That could be dangerous. Sleepwalking's a whole different animal, isn't it? I've never seen anyone do it. I had a bout of that for a while. Yeah, same here. I used to pee places I wasn't supposed to. I've done that once.

Just for drunken reasons, I actually. Oh, no. My brother had his very hot best friend over one day, sleeping over. And I guess that night I decided to sleepwalk right into the living room where they were sitting playing video games, grabbed a trash can, pulled my pants down, and started peeing in it. Right in front of your bro and his hot best friend? Yep. God, that sucked. You and Dana sound like you maybe need to seek some treatment for them.

Yeah, I probably do. A sleep doctor of those. Jesus, balls. Oh, I've talked to people. Doctor sleep. What do they tell you? You're nuts? Yeah.

Yeah. More of less. Is it medication related? Are you on medication? Medication time, gentlemen. Yeah, but it's happened pre me being on these medications. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I've seen a few sleepwalkers and sleep talkers in my day.

And, I mean, some are funny. Some are friggin scary. I've been told I'm a sleep talker. I mean, there's this gal that used to work in this building who would get the hell out of bed and walk around and speak in tongues, and it was friggin' frightening. I saw it once, and it was frightening. Others, like my dad was a big sleepwalker, sleep talker.

It was a riot. He'd be walking around in his underwear smoking a cigarette, and he'd be sound asleep. Smoking a sick. We'd laugh at our balls up. I don't know how many cigarettes. He smoked in bed while completely asleep. And it was great, and he would say ridiculous things. We loved it.

So there's good and bad in that, that the gal that used to work here, woo-wee, I could not sleep. What happened was we were all like, party in somewhere. I was sleeping in a guest room and this gal walked into my room. She was sound asleep. Speaking some satanic tongue. And I mean, it was eerie as all hell.

I couldn't sleep the rest of the freaking. Chills. Cubby. She just walked in my room and she said, that's terrifying. That's terrifying. And I thought, oh my God. Dude, I don't know what I would do.

Ah! I didn't scream, but I want to. It was just effing off the charts weird. And she was naked. If you got it, watch it, Jesus. Woke up in his living room screaming bees. My heart rate was at least 200. Jesus.

So real quick, before we go, I've told you the Tom Brady dream before. I mentioned earlier there's only two nightmares. I should continue to use the word nightmares because that's what they were. They weren't just dreams. There's two that I remember that I'll never forget. The other was from when I was a real little kid. I was probably in second grade when I had this friggin' nightmare,

and I still remember it because it was so friggin' scary. In real life, that day at Woodston Elementary School, I had forgotten my lunch money. And my mother, when we were kids, would always say, don't ever ask anyone for money. She looked at that. She looked at that as the rudest thing in the world. Can I have some money?

You know, there are some kids, or even adults who are just rude. So my mom was very adamant about that. Don't you ever ask anyone for money? You're not anybody else's problem, right? So I go to school, this is real life now. This is not my nightmare. I go to school one day, and I've forgotten my lunch money, and I was stuck.

I'm hungry, but I don't have any money, and I was too afraid to ask anyone, you know, can I have, at the time, our hot lunch at my elementary school was 55 cents. I was too afraid to ask it. So I went home that day, hungry. It just was a kind of, it had an effect on me as a second grader, whatever I, whatever I was at the time. That night, I had a nightmare where I was lying in my bed and my mother comes creeping into my room, but she's not my mother. You know, she sort of looked like my mother, but she was green and gray and like a scary character from a horror movie.

And she walks into my room and she has like a pile of gold in her hands. And she looks into my eyes and she says, Where have you gotten all of this money? Uh-uh. And I'll never forget it. So something about the real life lesson that she taught me to never ask for money. And then the day I went to school without, I had that nightman.

and I remember waking up the next day as my mother was sitting in the kitchen smoking cigarettes and I was a little afraid of her. Hey, what's up, dude? Stuck with me to this day. More anxiety than Hair Jesus said his wife, Sleep Whispers. Oh, yeah, oh yeah.

That would freak me out too. You said she does all kinds of weird crap in her dream. You seen a couple of those? No, I don't like that. That freaks me out. Is that scare you? Yeah. And if they're whispering in tongues,

So that combo? Oh, I wouldn't like that. I'm stressed out right now. Don't be stressed out. Yeah, people have texted and say, hey, thanks a lot. I'm going to have a nightmare now from all this talk. Oh, I 100% will have a nightmare tonight. Grow up.

Honestly, I don't really mind them that much. You don't mind your nightmare. You love that kind of stuff. Sometimes you're kind of interesting. Yeah. They are. I just like being able to remember my dreams. Yeah.

So whether it's a nightmare or a good dream, I'm like, oh, that's pretty cool. Your mind is crazy. Yeah, I wish I could remember them more. Sometimes I'll have the feeling, like when I wake up all of a feeling about something, but I don't remember what happened. I can almost never remember. It's because all of the weed you smoke, Josh.

Oh, is that what it is? No, that'll do it. I got to slow down on the weed. Half-assed morning show. 69. This show's fuck. Who are you, fart knockers? 93X.

Most of you know, I'm not a social media guy. I did try it for a while. It was fun. There were some foxy ladies. We had some laughs, but then my life was threatened, and I took a walk. Long story, I can tell you some other time. I'll tell you this much. My life was threatened because of wildly inaccurate information,

which is one of the things I like to pick on when it comes to social media. A lot of the folks who hang out there, by God, they're convinced they know. But they couldn't be more rough. We've experienced that, certainly. They couldn't. In some cases, we've seen that the truth. is the exact opposite. But here's the deal.

It says here, maybe social media isn't all that bad. What I have here is 30 different skills that people have learned on social media. First off, you folks tell me, have you learned a skill due to your social media activity? YouTube, I guess that's not necessarily social media, but certainly a lot of stuff off YouTube. where I've learned about ways to learn skills on social media, like, hey, check out this website or whatever. Yeah, that's a good point, Josh. Not really skills, but I've learned, like, I guess, what they call your favorite thing ever, Nick, life hacks.

Oh. So just like little things, like how to clean something better. That would count. That's exactly what they're talking about. Oh, okay. Yeah. Exactly what they're talking. I learn stuff like that all the time.

I've learned nothing, but it's been years since I went anywhere near. So, show me what you think. Here we go. 30 skills that people have learned from social media to show that maybe it's not all evil and soulless and wildly misinformed and judgmental, instantly judgmental. With very little information. Right, right, none. Gaming skills have been learned on social media.

How do I get past level six on Halo? And then you go, I don't know, I'm just just a guess. Okay, yeah, I can definitely use that for sure. Oh, I've done that again, YouTube. Like, I don't really game very often, but you just get sick of something. Like, okay, I'm going to watch somebody else do it. I just want to get past this point. How do I do it?

I feel guilty sometimes when I look it up. Yeah, why is that? I think someone's going to catch me and they're going to be like, ah, you cheater. But again, as a kid, I didn't feel guilty about using a strategy guide back when we didn't have YouTube. You had to, you know. Oh, my gosh. I forgot those exist. I know, right?

You and the other dorks used to pass a strategy guide. Oh, yeah. That was big time. Like Game Informer magazine? Yeah, stuff like that where they have like the maps and the cheat codes and stuff. You should brought me back, Dana. Which one of you guys has the strategy guide? I let Wendell borrow it.

How do I get past the water temple? Wendell, it's me, Dana. I need that strategy guide. Get on your bicycle. Get over here. I'm at the water level. So true, though. Wendell shows up.

I'm only letting you have it for two hours, man. I got to have that strategy guide back. It's funny because of how accurate it is. Well, now, I guess I can say that I understand this. Many, many, many years ago when I was playing Grand Theft Auto part, who knows, I looked up on social media how to get the all-weapons thing, right? Yeah. The all-weapons, constant life, whatever the proper term.

Exercise routines, Josh. People have learned exercise routines on social media, and it's led them to a happier and healthier life. Oh, yeah. Plenty of times. Hmm. I don't know about the happier and healthier part, but... I follow some fitness influencers,

not necessarily because I follow their record routines, because they're pretty foxy. You want to see them in their little spandex. Sure. Yeah. What was her name again on ESPN? Oh. Daisy Fluxes?

Daisy Fentes was a complete nuclear missile, but that's not who... She was a fitness gal on ESPN. Brooke Burke. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Whoa. Yeah.

Yeah. People have learned. Yeah, she's all right. Cooking skills have been learned on social media. Yeah, I've looked that up before. Just how do I make this pasta sauce without... What temperature is that supposed to get to? Killing my entire family.

Those are really good for meal preps. There's a lot of really good meal prep ideas on social media. Here's something that Dana needs hairstyles. You can go on social media and learn a new meal. hairstyle. I actually do need that help badly. Those make me mad, those videos. I don't like the social media cooking ones just because all of my,

I said my son needs all these like bougie sauces and stuff. He'll be like, hey, can you pick me up some truffle salt or like weird meos and stuff like that? I've never even heard of. And he's making aeolias and stuff. He's into all that kind of stuff. Suddenly he's Martha Stewart or whatever. Maybe that's not a fair comparison.

Isn't she a cooking lady? Yeah. Okay. Or Dubai chocolates, you know, all these things that get like hot. That's so hot right now. Social media all of a sudden. Like, look at, have you priced those, by the way? No, I've seen them like at the grocery store, but I haven't, I haven't really looked into it.

It's outrageous. Really? I don't get it. It just looks like moldy chocolate. People have learned new makeup skills. Oh, yeah. Applying makeup. How do I make my thing, my eyelashes do this, and the dance roots.

routines. Oh, the TikTok dances. Yeah, that's pretty much well. I don't know any of them. You never learned any of the new dance routines from, what's the one from 25 years ago, 20 years ago, that I heard every Thursday night up at Pops. Oh, I got the song right in the, I'll get back to you. There was a certain dance he always did up at the bar there.

Maybe you could learn how to do it on social media. I'm not sure. Drawing. Okay, baking, same as cooking. Learning a foreign language on social media. It'd be nice. It really would. I enjoyed it when I was a kid.

I did. It was one of the only classes I enjoyed in junior high. Mainly because I loved the teacher. He was such a laid-back cat. I did really enjoy learning how to speak Spanish. Would I commit myself to it today? No. Probably not, because no one's there to grade me.

No, people are texting in what dance it was back 20 years ago at freaking, yeah, here it is. Cupid shuffle. I love that dance. Every Thursday night, all the drunk young people would gather on the dance floor and they'd play the Cupid. Daddy Magic Jesus said, I saw a Dubai chocolate bar at the gas station for $20, and I just about throat punched the innocent guy behind the counter because I couldn't believe it. Are you kidding me?

Oh, yeah. The one, the link my son sent me on Amazon, it was like $45. For one bar? Yeah, one bar. That's ridiculous. And your son actually asked for one. of these. Yeah, he's an idiot. What's wrong with this knicker bar, bro? Exactly. I got two words for you. Pay, woo day. If you're looking for a candy bag. That's a good candy bar. Watch him

a call it. When's the last time he had one of those? Not that long actually. Never. I'm a junkie now. What else are people learning on social media so it's not all evil and soulless and wildly misinformed? Playing a musical instrument. Oh yeah. Anytime I want to learn how to play song or go on YouTube. You look up how to play certain songs on the Gittenden I don't know what this means coding what is coding C-O-D-I-N-G programming oh for Christ's sake painting you guys like to paint I've looked up drawing stuff that's that's a skill I wish I had I'm so impressed Ashley you're you're so good at it thank you why do you wish you were a better what I don't know just especially as a kid like I had some friends that were super good at it and like

they could we used to draw like war planes you know we were obsessed with warplanes and I was I was okay at best, but I had some friends that basically you'd want to pay for it. They were so good. But what would you do with it now? I can't imagine calling Josh's, wait a minute, there are no home lines anymore, home phones. But let's say I called Josh's phone and his wife says, hello, is Josh there? Well, he is, but he's busy drawing. Well, I mentioned before I had a buddy, I mean, this is before porn was so prolific and easy to get,

a buddy who would draw custom porn picks for people, whatever your kink was. I love that story. He has every skill imaginable that he's used for evil, but he used to make money selling hand-drawn porn pictures. Or the side hustle. A couple of our listeners have texted in on 651 is the number. This is how you punch it into your phone. [phone].

They've learned how to do certain things with their motor vehicle by watching videos or something similar on social media. Terrific. Do it yourself, process. I've looked them up. I still don't have the balls to try myself. Yeah, I spend a lot of time watching, like, the, like, little short videos of somebody redoing a room.

So, like, I don't know, they put up shelves and all that, make shelves or whatever. And, like, one day. And it's sped up? That's going to be me totally. No, no, it's not going to be. Oh, dude. This is why.

I mean, a lot of this makes sense. Sure. Do you want to learn how to do something? Go ahead. fire up a video on social media, maybe you'll just end up with that particular skill. Here's my favorite, though, so far. Self-defense techniques, man.

Pa, pa, pa, pop, pa. Next to you know, six, eight guys are just carcass all over the sidewalk after I'm done. Because I learned a self-defense, and they didn't even attack me. I just cut loose on them, you know, for no reason, which is probably wrong. I shouldn't, Josh, I probably shouldn't learn self-defense. defense techniques and then just attack strangers on this. It's supposed to be just defensive. But wouldn't you be impressed, though, if you and I were walking on the sidewalk

and I just started karate? The temptation would be great. Should that be so sweet? I would love to see that. We've been going back and forth on social media. Well, that sounds like we're on social media. How should I say that, Josh? We've been going back and forth on the subject of social media.

Things you can learn on social media. Is it evil? Yeah, soulless, yes, wildly misinformed. Is it one of the biggest mistakes that mankind has ever made? Absolutely. But are there some things that we can still use it for? Some good things we can still use it for? Sure.

There's plenty of good. A lot of folks have learned skills. What are your top three skills, Josh? Top three skills? I'm going to say, playing the guitar? Be an entertaining, informative, and hilarious on the radio. And, God, what will be your third skill? Oh, obviously you're an unbelievable athlete.

It's true. Clearly. I mean, I'm very good at not being able to throw a spiral. Oh, yeah. I've seen you throw a football. Like a lot of guys, if they are not very good at throwing, maybe one out of ten they'll get a spiral. Zero out of ten for me.

I want to play catch with you. I can catch. I just can't throw. When he throws, it's painful. For example, so my son plays football, and a lot of times, you know, the moms or dads will warm their son up beforehand playing a little catch. I like trying kind of hide behind a tree so nobody can see how bad my throws are. I can't figure.

I think it's because of my tiny hands. You do have very smallish. A small football, I'm okay, but a regular-sized football, it's miserable. I remember back in the day I was trying to show you, and just to get an idea, when Josh throws a football, he kind of delivers it like someone throws a shot put. Yeah, I can picture that. You're just unable to really, anyway.

And you know, you can probably recreate that sound I make any time I throw it. When I throw him a football, this is the sound you make that Josh makes when you throw it directly at him. He claps his hands and it hits him in the chest. That's not true. I can catch. But when I throw, I kind of go. Oh, when you throw it. Yeah.

I'm sorry. I said when you catch it. Yeah, when you throw it. throws it, he says, ha-uh. So these are the skills that you can still learn on social media, if you haven't already. Where do we leave off of?

We've had a long list here. Gaming, exercise, cooking, hairstyles, makeup, dance routines, drawing, baking, learning a foreign language, playing a musical instrument, coding, painting, do-it-yourself projects. Self-defense techniques is where we left off. Budgeting and finance tips? Oh, definitely.

Learn how to handle your monies. I don't know what CV writing is. Resume writing. Oh, God. Well, we'll all get there eventually. Good thing. You knew that. I had no idea. First aid. Recycling properly.

Recycling. I don't play that game. What a scam. It's for the birds. Cleaning tips. Someone mentioned that already. Cleaning tips. Performing CPR on somebody. Oh, yeah, I guess that's where I learned. Yeah, I've watched. watched videos to learn how to do that.

We probably all should know how to do that. That's where we all learned how to do the dog heimlich maneuver. Dog heimlich maneuver. Yeah, it was a couple months ago. I found how to how to give a dog, a dog hamlet. I don't recall that. Well, that's also maybe something we all should know. Meditation.

That's hard. It's really hard to master that. I agree. I tried it once via a recommendation from our boss. And I gave it a shot. I couldn't figure it. Now, people have said, oh, it's a. skill you got to practice and practice.

I gave up, but that was very difficult. Because you have to, like, completely clear your mind, and that's impossible for me. People have learned meditation from watching videos on social media. The last handful of skills here that we can maybe go back and forth on breathing techniques, like say when you're having a baby, maybe. Or so you're stressed out. I have seen a lot of those videos. Oh, distress, deep breaths.

Okay. I guess, yeah, that's talking about babies. I've learned a lot about what to expect and what to bring with to the hospital, all those kind of things from social media. One of my favorite jokes ever. Stephen Wright, 35, 40 years ago, he told this joke on late night with David Letterman,

if I'm not mistaken. Stephen Wright said, I've been taking Lamas classes. Nobody's having a baby. I'm just having trouble breathing. breathing. Sign language. Yeah.

That'd be a very cool skill to have. I know Josh, your wife knows how to sign. So cool. When I took sign language in college, YouTube came very much in handy. Oh, you took it? You took it in college. Yeah. Can you have a conference?

My wife's fluent. I've lost a lot of it, but I could still definitely handle the basics. Yeah, it's super cute, Josh. Whenever your wife and my fiance are in the same room and they start talking about sign language, they'll start to like do it back and forth to each other. I love watching it. Yeah, well, he's not as fluent as your wife is, but he took a couple of years of it.

It's definitely cool like you go to a store and there's a deaf person and you can tell how much they appreciate it. She's able to communicate. That's awesome. The last three skills that people have learned on social media are pretty interesting for the final three. What to do if you fall through ice?

I can tell you what I did when I fell through ice. I friggin' panic. Yep. That's what I did. And what do they tell you not to do? They told me not to panic, and I went straight to that. That's so crazy. But I didn't panic as bad as Big Al did.

Big Al, I thought, oh, God. Anyway, what's crazy? They described like one of the most terrifying things that can happen to a person. Now, don't panic. How? You have to meditate for that, Ashley. We were in my pickup, and we went through the ice, and we both panicked. Oh, that's so scary.

You can learn how to crochet. I've always wanted to learn how to crochet. That looks fun. That got big during the picture. pandemic. Go to my friggin' sister's house. That's all she and her kid do. They sit around and they just make socks and sweaters. It's just a wall of yarn

when you walk into the... Josh, didn't your daughter just learn how to crochet? Well, isn't that what she did with that little skeleton thing she made you? Is that crocheting? I think so. That's sweet. I want to learn how to do that. That and like cross-stitch and stuff. Escaping quicksand. What's that joke?

How does that go? The social media thing? Yeah, I was led to believe that quicksand would be more more prevalent and dangerous my life than it ended up being. Yeah, never once had to worry about it in real life. I was a kid I sure was terrified. Bermuda Triangle? Terrified the Bermuda Triangle.

People have gone on social media and learned how to escape quicksand. I'll be down. A few text messages came in on the subject. One of our listeners learned dog training methods watching social media. I could use some of that. I'll give you an idea what I deal with at the house. when I call my dog, I say, Gertrude. Come here.

She looks at me as if she's saying to herself, who the hell is this guy thinking? You know what I mean? This is my house, bitch. You say my name, I'm supposed to come. She knows who the alpha is. She says, think again, pal. What else did our listeners?

Oh, one of our listeners learned how to tattoo folks. Oh, wow. Watching social media and YouTube. And then finally, a listener says, Has anybody mentioned the jackoff instructions yet? No, nobody mentioned that. Oh, yeah, the J-O-I video. You've seen, everyone's seen those videos, right?

The gal's like, okay, here's how you do it. There was somebody that suggested they learned how to help a pretty lady who's stuck in a dryer. How does that happen? How do they get stuck in a dryer? I can't figure it out. Over and over. It's ridiculous. It is a little silly, but it happens.

Yeah, it seems to happen. It happens. A friend of mine was saying sometimes, like, oh, it's not just dryer. Sometimes it's underneath a coffee table. Underneath the bed. Underneath the car. Oh, a bed too?

The car. Yep. Yeah, I've seen that. Did they explain how they get in these situations ever? Well, she was trained very loosely. I usually zoom ahead. I don't want to hear the talking. She was.

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