93X Half-Assed Morning Show - ("Best Of"): STD Edition

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.  Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer and I think you should too. An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day.

We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. The comfort you deserves is 1930. Half-assed morning show. 93X. Just a hell of a time. We're having a hell of a time here with our longtime pal, C. Willie Miles, sitting here in studio with us.

How's everything, C. Willie? Man, it's all good. In the hood. Anything you'd like to discuss this morning on the program? No, man. I got nothing going on. My shows are all sold out. And all I need to do is just be here and just be good.

grateful. Well, we're grateful for your presence. Your next show would be your Christmas show? My next show is my Thanksgiving holiday show that's coming up in Prior Lake at Fong's. Okay. Which is on a Tuesday. All right. And then I usually immediately leave town the next day. You don't need to even give the date because it's sold out. It sold out. Right. It's 24th. And then on, I mean, there's no tickets to be. I don't know, 25th. And then the 6th of December is sold out at crooners. We be not seeing any shows soon enough where folks can go get tickets where it's not sold out.

Any more shows? Well, my next public show that I'll be doing because I've got a couple of holiday parties that I'm doing, but they're not open to the public. But crooners, I'll be back there, Valentine. So if you want to hop on that, that's the only. place I'm kind of performing right now publicly. I love your relaxed schedule. Yeah, I do too. I want to be you someday. I, man, I've worked 30 years to get to where I'm at right now. And I'm loving it. Josh, wouldn't you like to say, I've got something going around December 6th and then the next is on Valentine's Day? Just not really fully knowing the schedule because I don't care. It's like when you're a kid in summer, you have no

idea what day it is. Absolutely. Could be Saturday, could be Wednesday. It makes no difference. Or what time it is. I guess the only day I knew was Sunday for church. Oh, sure. Outside of that, it just didn't matter. Yeah, I was a PK, so yeah, I had to know when Sunday was. What's a PK? Preachers kid. Oh, sure, sure.

Well, we're always happy to have you. Oh, I'm always excited to be in here, man. This is always a fun time for me. I'm up early and I need something to do. I've got something here that might be concerning for some of us. I'm slightly unnerved by reading this. Saying um more frequently while speaking, um or uh, may signal that your brain is rotting.

Simple little speech patterns patterns is how you say it. Simple little speech patterns like um or uh, taking longer pauses. Or here's the part, Josh, where I thought, this isn't good. Struggling when searching for words. You're screwed. I have that problem every single, what do you call it again? Day.

Day. Struggling and searching for words might be indicators of declining cognitive ability. Wow. I think it happening on air. Well, I guess maybe not in your case, Nick. But, like, I forget sometimes, like, what I'm about to say or, like, the word I'm looking for, or I say omp. And I think it's just because I'm more careful on air.

Trying not to swear. Yeah, I want to make sure I'm getting things right because sometimes if you don't get it right, people will come at your life. That's funny. There are times, you know, like an out-of-body experience on the radio. It's the same thing where I'm almost standing next to myself going, don't eff it up, kid. This could be trouble.

Don't screw this up. Tamper it down. So I know exactly what you're saying. So sometimes it'll take a little bit longer to express yourself because you're thinking of all the angles on how this could go wrong or you could be misrepresented. So I totally get what you're saying. Yeah.

Otherwise, I think in my regular life day to day, I don't, I think I'm pretty good. I am an um, uh, long pause. And I struggle trying to find the proper word. I do that all. The time, all the time. If you do, I don't notice. Oh, I really notice it when I put together the promos. Because I have to, like I like to cut that out just to make it a little bit shorter so it all fits nicely.

And I'm like, oh, what is this? Oh, that's an um. There's an awkward pause. Are you serious? Yeah. I wonder why I don't notice that. Maybe just when in the moment it's different. Yeah, absolutely.

I don't see my pauses as awkward. I certainly am aware that they're a bit extended. But yes, Ashley has to edit out certain things so the promo can fit into a certain time and run on the air later. Thank you, by the way, for editing out those ums and oz. Of course, yeah. Next thing, you know, Reddit is going to assume that I have a brain injury. They already have made assumptions about my overall mental health. That's hilarious.

Our everyday speech and how we talk may reveal more about brain health than just, just what we say. It's how we say it. If you notice a friend or family member suddenly speaking with more hesitations, longer pauses, or trouble finishing thoughts, it might be worth being a little more than attentive to them. My wife and I have very different communication styles where if someone's not talking, I feel I have to fill in the space nervously, and maybe it's just because of what we do. But my wife takes a long time to process. thing. And I don't mean that demeaning. I just mean she likes to really think about what she's going to say. No, you're right. I've noticed that. And it's never struck me

in a way to where I thought she was lacking intelligence. She is very measured. She's very thoughtful. Yes. Right. My husband, when we're all together, he calls, he says that we have, like, I think it's dead air syndrome, he's nicknamed it, because we don't like it to be too quiet for too long. We'll chime in with something. Well, that's the common. sign of a younger, newer couple. Right.

What do you mean? You want to keep things moving. Oh, no, no, no. Sorry, I said that incorrectly. I mean, like, when he is hanging out with all of us, when we're all in a room together and all of us are having a conversation, he said he notices that when, like, say, me, you and Josh are talking, Nick, that we don't let it be quiet for too long.

And I said, I think that he credits it to us being on the radio and you, You don't like it to be quiet for too long because that means something is wrong. That's interesting. I would never notice that. So is your husband trying to get us all to shut up? No, he loves it. He loves sitting there and just listening to us go back and forth. Let the conversation breathe a little bit, people.

He's like, let me get a word in. I've always thought in new, especially comedies, that'd be something I've noticed where it's too quick. It's not natural. I mean, you're an expert, see, Willie. Like the comedic timing and things, there's, They're getting to their line so quick, and I don't know if it's nerves or what it's supposed to be. Exactly.

That's exactly what it is. But I know what you're saying, Ashley. That's definitely a thing where you're just trained, like, don't let something hang there, you know, just have something. Yeah, and I always feel bad if somebody says something quick and nobody says anything back to them. I don't know why. Even if it's just like a little thought that doesn't really need an answer, I always feel bad. no we're we're we're we're we're different in our house because we we my wife and I are very both are very good conversationalists but we both like downtime because of what we do like I like I

I'm not a reader so I don't I don't read a whole lot of stuff I'm a I'm a thinker so and and I think about a lot of stuff and I'll think out loud you know and my wife is a very she's a great listener. But at the end of the day, we both like it a little bit quiet in the house every once and a while because she works in finance and she's constantly on the phone. And when she works from home, she's always on Zoom or something with somebody, you know. And sometimes we just like that downtime where it's just, and I think that's what you were getting across to Ashley. When you've been together in a relationship, you've been married for a long time. Peace and quiet is very hard to come by. Right. And so when you get it, man, you take full advantage.

of it. I was recently told by my wife that when I try to explain something to her, there's too many words. Right. She's like, get to the point. Yes. Yes. She is fairly to the point and gets the message out quickly. Right. I take my time. I'm a slower talker. And so yeah, just the other day, she said, I was in the middle of explaining something to her. And she kind of threw her hands up. And I said, what happened? And she said, it's just so many words. I get that too, because that's how I am. And not just with my wife, but with a lot of people. The one thing you can say that really triggered me is to say, to make a long story short, and it doesn't get shorter. Don't ever say that to me. You better mean that. When you're already

three minutes into telling me something and then say, but to make a long story short, it's too late. Yeah. It's really too late now. I try and work on that, getting to the point quicker. Right, I do too. My wife will tell me she went out to lunch with somebody, but she will tell me the whole, from the time she woke up. I do the same thing. And the phone call she had to.

You need the context clues. All I need is where you went, who did you go to lunch with? Where did you go? Dude, that's so funny. I think sometimes my husband's like ready to just end his life because of how I go on and on. And he's like, are we to the point of the story that like all of this is even four yet. Land the plane. Land the plane. Yes, exactly. I asked my wife, I said, what altitude are we at?

Are we climbing or we descending? And she's like, what? Now, let me ask C. Willie Miles and Josh a question, leaving out the younger folks just for a minute. When I get excited, when I get fired up, I speed up my delivery a little bit. It's only natural. I'm fired up. I'm excited. But generally, I'm a little bit of a slower talker. as I've gotten older, fast talkers, I just can't follow it. I have a couple of friends who are really fast talkers, and I just can't hear it anymore. I can't follow what they're saying because of the speed. Have either of you experienced that as you've gotten older?

Not yet. I haven't know. No. Like sometimes I'll watch videos like at one and a half speed or like I'll listen to audiobooks at that. Maybe just because I'm used. So maybe that's why I'm not because I don't know if I'm trained for it, but I'm used to it. And maybe this is a sign of my diminishing cognitive skills. I don't know.

But fast talkers, like at the bar, I constantly have to ask them to repeat themselves. If you give it to me too fast of a pace. I do notice that you ask people to repeat themselves. Yeah, he's done that to me a couple times, and I know it's because I'm going too fast. Dana, you often kick it. up to an unsafe speed. Absolutely. Yeah, sometimes you kind of leapfrog words.

Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes I get in my brain where I assume people know what I'm talking about and they don't need as much and I just talk way too fast. Yeah. That's not easy to do. Something I've worked down over the last couple of years is I've noticed, especially with my brother, if we're wrapping up a phone conversation, all of a sudden, everything gets a little bit faster and we're about to say goodbye.

You know, and so it's like a race. That was very skillful right there, by the way. I was possessed. So now I have to on purpose just calm down a little bit and just say, all right, yeah, great talking to you. We'll see you later. You're saying that sometimes at the end of conversations you tend to speed up the pace? On a phone call specifically. On the telephone.

When I know it's about to end. And my brother's the same way. So if he starts speaking faster, I know it's, oh, we're about to hang up. Dueling banjos. Yeah. So I've worked on that. All right. So there you go.

if you are an um or an ah person by the way um as we've discussed many times in this program I love a great nickname one of my favorite nicknames ever this guy's been gone for years one of my dad's friends growing up his nickname was ah because this is how he legitimately talked if you asked him what are some bands you've seen he would say yeah I saw I saw I I saw Johnny Cash once when I was in Memphis, Tennessee. I once saw the Bellamy brothers when I was in the service. He said ah between every statement. So his nickname was ah, and I thought that was so friggin' hilarious as a kid.

I love to hear him talk because it was exactly how I played it out. Makes sense. What a nickname. So I wonder about this whole brain rotting study. What about people who use effin as um or ah? Yeah, I know. That's the same thing. Yeah, they're just, it sounds cooler, though.

It does sound cooler, right? I mean, that's something you wouldn't cut out of a promo if we were allowed to swear. Like, yeah, we went to that effing, that effing, that effing, I suppose I'm throwing an eye in there. But you know what I'm saying? Like the dragged out effing. Yeah, that's what I do. I've always been impressed by the folks who begin a sentence with effing. Yeah, there's people that can throw, you mentioned your brothers like that with combinations of swear words and stuff,

but there's people that can throw the F word in and just make it super smooth. My old pals, Big Phil and Pistol Pete from across the street, begin their sentences with effing. And one of my favorite memories was we didn't see Pistol Pete from across the street for a few years. He got himself in trouble. He had to leave town. And he came back to town. And my mother, you know, our families were very close. he was across the street. Pistol Pete from across the street

sees my mother for the first time in four or five years and my mother walks up and says, Pistol Pete and he says this, effin, Mrs. Bourne. He started his greeting with effin. We're all different, I suppose. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes. It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.

The 93X half-assed morning show. Kids swim there and you don't know what's happened to the animals. If the fish eat them and then the people eat the fish, you don't know. And the same thing, when you start leaving dead carcasses on the road, that brings in vermin and disease and other things like that. The chilling discovery of two decapitated roosters and a white dove, each completely drained of semen, blood, has authorities in upstate New York investigating a possible link to dark rituals, sacrifices, as it were.

I don't like the sound of that, not a bit. The gruesome scene found earlier this month is just the latest in a string of bizarre incidents plaguing the region. Residents are whispering about cult activity, worried something darker than folklore is nesting in their community, and peace in their quiet town may return never more. Investigators said there's been ten similar fines this year alone. In one April case, two butchered birds were stuffed into a garbage bag and dumped by the roadside again, bloodless and drained on purpose. Is there any chance that just some poor bastards running around town forced to eat birds? Well, they're not eating them.

They're not eating them. Unless they're just eating the heads. Oh. Well, you know what? I think about it, the heads might have been there too. I'm not sure. Well, they're just, they're dead and bloodless. Yeah.

Okay. Authority, maybe they're drinking them. I don't know. Authorities say the animal offerings do appear in certain ritual practices tied to voodoo, Santoria, and other related belief systems. We're not looking at the religion. You can do whatever you want with your religion. However, New York says,

an animal cannot suffer unjustifiable, physical pain or cruelty. Authorities say without witnesses, video, or someone caught mid-sacrifice, intent is nearly impossible to prove, but they are investigating. What a hell of a deal that is. Kind of freaky, huh? Yeah, definitely. Very scary. Texas may be known for big hats and belt buckles, but some folks reckon they may soon

get a more grim association, serial killers. So far this year, Texas police have very far. recovered at least 16 bodies from the bayous surrounding Houston, a discovery that stirred growing fears of a possible serial killer at work, fears officials are trying to kill. Houston's mayor maintains there's no evidence of a serial killer, which is precisely the kind of confident declaration people make right before an HBO documentary about serial killers, and others aren't convinced the situation is so simple. Several experts are now urging a deeper investigation into the mounting deaths, warning that dismissing the pattern too quickly could

prove reckless. Something is afoot, said a 50-year-old retired NYPD sergeant who now teaches criminal justice at Penn State. A coincidence? Unlikely. A careful inspection of each case is warranted, including the 48 hours prior to the discovery of their disappearance, he said, emphasizing the need to scrutinize the final hours of each victim's life. The reports out of Houston echo a similar string of troubling incidents in Austin where a number of bodies have been pulled from Lady Bird Lake, five found in just six days last month, raising more questions about what exactly is happening in Texas waterways. Still, Houston's police chief told reporters there's absolutely positively, definitely no connection in these incidents. There's no evidence, and I repeat, no evidence to suggest any of these incidents are connected,

he told reporters, with fingers tightly crossed behind his back. I do say enough's enough on speculation. Out of respect for the families, and also for 2.3 million Houstonians and our region. We have challenges. We're meeting those challenges. But a serial killer, loose in Houston, is not one of our challenges today.

A Houston PD commander in the Homicide Division noted the recovered victims include both men and women, ranging in ages from 20s to 60s. So if it's a coincidence or a killer hiding in plain sight, officials say don't jump to conclusions. While other experts say don't rule out the possibility, a serial killer is lurking in the Lone Star State. I don't know where to go with this one.

I don't know. It's a lot of bodies, though. It's definitely a lot of bodies. That's disgusting. A Texas man wearing a Jason-style hockey mask from the Friday the 13th movies opened fire on a Dallas bus after a dispute with another man. 27-year-old Harrington Hurdle will have to jump a major legal impediment after shooting 43-year-old Norman Brown on a Dallas-area rapid transit bus. According to an arrest affidavit, surveillance video showed Hurdle wearing the mask,

which resembled the one worn by the fictional killer Jason in the movies. Hurdle was on one bus wearing the mask, then got off before sitting on a platform. He entered another bus and sat next to the victim. The two reportedly had some sort of argument. Hurtle donned the Camp Crystal Lake Couture once more, pulled a not very Jason authentic gun, and then fired a shot at the victim. Detectives say they saw a man take off a Jason-style hockey mask while sitting on the platform. And according to those documents, when the man boarded the train, he sat adjacent to Brown.

Now, Dart police say he then put on the mask, pulled out a Draco-style AK-47, and shot Brown. It's unclear if the suspect and victim knew each other before the shooting, to add insights. felt the injury, this marks the second firearm incident on a dart bus in just one week. That's so weak. If you're going to put a Jason mask on, stay in character and use a machete. I'm with you on that one. Yeah, Jason didn't ever use an AK. Come on now. Commit. No matter what light of work you're in, doing 110 miles per hour in your company vehicle is a pretty quick way to land yourself in the unemployment line.

But it's an especially bold choice when activating your lights and sirens in a police car, racing toward your third DUI. The man behind the wheel was 48-year-old Terry Gray, sheriff of Robertson County. According to reports, the incident unfolded when he nearly crashed into the sheriff of a neighboring county, Ryan Swolski. Swolski. Swolski ended up pulling him over and arresting him. You're getting pretty Swolski over there, son. We're doing push-ups. Yeah.

We can tell. When he was stopped, Gray was still in uniform. Sheriff Swolski later said there was no reason for him to be running lights and sirens, adding that he was. obviously could smell the odor of alcoholic beverages on his person. Gray appeared to acknowledge he'd been drinking but insisted he was not drunk. Officers found a bottle of fireball, which Ashley calls bitch whiskey inside his squad. Tests later revealed the blood alcohol of 0.226, so the other cop said, well, you know what, that means you're drunk. Nearly three times the legal limit.

Mark's Gray's third DUI arrest in just two years. Well, he's piling them up, huh? So much so that Kentucky's governor has spoke out on it. He's calling for his resignation. He was arrested for DUI in December 2023 and convicted. Then August of 2024 arrested again after getting drunk and flipping a tractor. Flip a tractor. Wow. That takes some effort. And while Gray was busy turning his cruiser into a rolling

distillery, he wasn't the only badge holder making headlines for less than sober antics. A 39-year-old Pennsylvania State Trooper was charged last week with resisting arrest and public drunkenness after police say they witnessed him repeatedly stumble ahead of Penn State football clash with Oregon. Witnesses said the trooper Nathan Messner dressed in a white Penn State hoodie. He was seen stumbling repeatedly near Beaver Stadium before he ate it. Another trooper found him lying on the sidewalk across the street, clearly intoxicated and struggling to keep his balance. Each time he tried to stand, he fell. His speech was slurred and despite officer's commands to sit down, he refused to comply.

They said he smelled strongly of alcohol and at one point stumbled directly into a tree, prompting troopers to call for emergency medical services. Well, is this guy a rookie or something? How old a guy is he? 39. He can't keep himself upright while drinking. No, apparently he went for it. When officers attempted to take him into custody, they said he tensed up, pulled his arms away, before being taken to the ground.

He was handcuffed, transported by ambulance to a hospital where he allegedly continued resisting officers until he was sedated. sedate the guy. He's what a moron. 40 years old. Yay, college football. Hammered off his ass. Grow up for Christ's sake. As the old saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished.

In fact, it occasionally is armed. A Florida man learned that the hard way when what he thought was a moment of kindness turned into a carjacking at gunpoint. It was nearly 9 p.m. last Monday when 34-year-old Grant Haygood James played the role of pedestrian imperil, waving down a driver at an intersection. The would-be-good-Sameritan fresh from jujitsu class. What?

And presumably more accustomed to chokeholds than con jobs pulled over to assist, which was an unfortunate mistake. When he rolled down his window, Hey Good James asked for a ride. Something about him didn't feel right, so the driver declined, as did the situation quite rapidly. No, I need a ride. I need this,

the suspect insisted, as he ran around to the driver's side door. Yeah, don't care, dude. According to police, Hey Good James pulled a gun and ordered the victim out of the car before speeding off. He said he needed a ride, and after taking a look at him, I thought this guy is sketchy. I said, nope. And I started to pull forward, but he stayed with the window. And that's what he said, I need this. That's when I realized he had a gun pointed at me. He took the wallet and phone to the victim. So the victim was forced to flag down another

motorist and called 911, but karma wasn't choking out early. Roughly 20 minutes later, restaurant employees spotted a soggy man climbing out of a river. Surprise, it was Haygood James. He immediately jumped back into the water and tried hiding in the mangroves, but deputies were already closing in, and here's that sweet sound of justice. Get on your fucking on. What did I do? Who?

Hold on. Hey, hey, I don't, ah! Authorities soon hauled them out and recovered both the stolen gun, and they found the car. As for the victim, he says he'll think twice next time before stopping to help someone on the road and will definitely be more cautious. Never stop for anybody. Well, did he crash the car into the swamp? Well, no, I mean, I guess they didn't say specifically where they got it.

It doesn't sound like it. It sounds like he just ditched it and jumped in a river. He spotted and he jumped right back in. In Florida, even bladder control can become a matter of life and death. In a case of deeply misplaced honor and an aversion to urination, a man was arrested for threatening a victim who took a leak near his girlfriend. Just before midnight, September 13th, three friends left one of their apartments and headed to a nearby gas station. Somewhere between point A and point I got to go, one of them strayed and opted for nature's urinal.

Unfortunately, he chose a spot not far from another man's girlfriend, and that boyfriend added cutlery to his attempted chivalry. The boyfriend pulled a knife and yelled at the victim, who said he disrespected his girlfriend by urinating in public, not too far from her. The victim's friend rushed in, played mediator, apologized for the rogue stream, and even shook the suspect's hand. It seemed like the tension had eased at first, but peace was not achieved. The victim stated after his friend left,

he walked toward a nearby parking lot intending to apologize to the defendant and then was stabbed for his efforts. Detectives later found his wallet and cell phone at the crime scene, which shockingly helped confirm the suspect's identity and surveillance footage sealed the deal as well. I hope it was worth it. Yeah, I mean, was she that upset? Probably not.

She didn't care at all. I can't imagine she's that upset. Again, he didn't, like, go on her. It was just she happened to be in the area. A Florida man tried to shoplift from a home deal. only to upgrade his crimes from petty theft to pretend terrorism when he made a false bomb threat after being approached by a lost prevention officer. That's how you do it. Announcing he had explosives in his backpack and asking a strange question, can you smell it?

After walking out of the store. It's not a question I ever really want to be asked. Pardon? After walking, I'm not a dog. After walking out of the store, the 37-year-old suspect pulled a pack of lighters from his pocket. pocket and held them as if he might set something off. Concerned he was about to ignite the device, the officer grabbed the lighters and contacted a sheriff's office deputy who happened to be working off duty nearby. The deputy detained the man, but the threats didn't stop. He continued making

alarming statements toward the store and the people around him, which led authorities to call in the bomb squad and evacuate the entire building. Geez, what a pain in the ass. Once again, he insisted there was a bomb in his backpack, but when officers searched it, they didn't find a bomb. just two tied detergent bottles that he had stolen worth about $25. Hmm. Guy had some laundry to do. The National Weather Service announced last week, a deadly tornado that tore through a rural North Dakota city in June

was reclassified as an EF5, the first twist during the United States to earn that rating in 12 years. According to the agency's Grand Forks office, the storm touched down near the southeastern city of Enderlin on June 20th, carrying winds that peaked at, more than 210 miles an hour. To reach the EF5 designation, the highest on the enhanced Fujita scale, winds must climb past 200 miles an hour.

In the days immediately after the storm, the tornado had been estimated at only EF3 strength, but they have upgraded that. Tragically, three lives were lost, two men and a woman, and the damage left behind was staggering. Entire swaths of trees flattened, rail cars loaded with grain, knocked from the tracks, massive tanker cars were tossed into the air. One tanker, the NWS reported, was hurled hundreds of feet. These cars were picked up by the winds of this tornado and dropped 470 feet away from the center circulation of where they were picked up. The storm lasted just under 20 minutes, beginning at 11.02 p.m. ending at 1121 p.m. carving a destructive 12-mile path.

The last time the U.S. witnessed a tornado of this scale was May 30, 2013, when an EF. 5 struck Moore, Oklahoma. That tornado traveled more than 14 miles, reached wind speeds of up to 200 miles an hour, claimed 24 lives, injured over 200 people, and left widespread destruction in its wig. God, dang. That's pretty scary stuff. Mm-hmm.

I don't remember hearing about that some bitch. That sounds awful. Here's a little rock news for you. Guitarist Slash hinted that a new Guns and Roses album is on the horizon. Oh, really? The famous top hat-wearing-ax slinger said the band has plenty of material ready to go and quote, everybody's talking about it.

So fingers crossed for fans, they might have to wait just a little bit longer and that's it. GNR fans are used to waiting for things. Yeah, it's been a while. There's some Monday night football television double penetration tonight. First, the

Falcons will host the bills, followed by Washington at home against Chicago. Jerry Rice, the legendary runner up to Drew Lichet on Season 2 of Dancing with the Stars, 63 today. It's a very controversial finish. Was it really?

Oh, I have no idea. Chris Carter, the legendary creator of the X-Files, is 69 today. He not only can't drive 55 at his age, he may need his license taken away. Sammy Hagar, 78. God dang. Seventy-eight. Metal hand finishing Jesus text to Luther Bloomington Kia text line, a happy first anniversary to his daughter and son-in-law.

Shout out to Mechanic Scuba Steve. Happy 13th wedding anniversary. Congratulations to Big Rig Fenders, Jesus, whose offer got accepted on his first house. Good luck to Taco going in for shoulder urgery this morning from Big Al, the Rod Builder. You're going to regret that house. I didn't want to scare him.

You're going to regret it. Yeah, I said, Nick, a fun video from what we were dealing with over the weekend. Oh yeah, you had a total nightmare at your house again. Yeah, we got another pool. You know that house that I've told you to move out of for the last frigging 12 years? Trust me, I've brought it up before at home. It doesn't go very far. But yeah, we have a brand new pool. Unfortunately, it's in our dining room again. Happy belated birthday to Katie from metal grinding to burring Jesus and happy 15th to Ben from dad, mom, and Eli. That's 93X news. The 93X half-assed morning show.

What's going on, podcast, pimpts? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer and I think you should too. An AC tune-up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day.

We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at Standard Heating. com providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bealki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you.

Don't suffer. Call Bealky Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialkylaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. for you. This isn't your average podcast. This pot is about to be crazy. I don't even know what's going to happen. This is full send. It's just like a boy's scrap. Join the party. We threw like a spontaneous party out of nowhere is crazy. And we pulled off a crazy prank. Pranks, parties and viral

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The 93X. Half-assed morning show. Hello. And welcome to or welcome back to the 93X half-ass morning show. Checking in here at 829. Our next guest is a real doctor. And by God, he's willing to help Dr. James Parnell. Hello, Dr. P. Good morning.

Today is National Herpes Awareness Day. I know. You did. You were aware. Yeah, I knew it was about five minutes ago when I got here. Yeah, you got my card in the mail, right, Dr. Bee? Right. No.

It's funny. I always celebrate sexually transmitted infection month in April. Like I put on a lot of parties. Yeah, you're worthless in May. I know. Exactly. No, I did not know that. But it's exciting.

It is exciting. For us. Yes. Happy Herpes Day to you, Dr. P. We're going to try our best to make today the first ever STD edition of our Dr. P segment. We have a few sexually transmitted disease-related questions ready for you. Questions from our dirty, promiscuous listening audience. But we can always use a few more.

If you have an STD-related question or concern, text us at 651-9-89-9-9-9-33-9. It's very unique what we're doing here. We've never really tried to focus on one specific subject, but I think on Herpes Awareness Day, I think it's quite fitting. No, this is groundbreaking. And plenty of texts are related to herpes. We were talking about it earlier, and there's quite a few people who have an experience with it, or a close call.

Absolutely. And it's also not something people love talking about. So anonymous texts or radio are a way to hear some questions. Did you just say a close call, Josh? Yes. Because that brings up one of my favorite texts we've received so far. A guy texted in to say, here we are headed towards Halloween. He said on Halloween a few years ago, I almost hooked up with a gal who was dressed as Hulk Hogan.

Would you consider that a close call? Yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure what you were going to get there hooking up with a gal dressed as Hulk Hogan for Halloween. I love that she's a big wrestling fan, but maybe there's... Just ask her to take the fake mustache off first, maybe? No, no, keep it on. Keep it on. Did I almost get herpes, the guy says?

I don't know. I don't know. You said the word anonymous, and that's how this person would like to remain. Yeah, for sure. Please keep this anonymous. Oh, my God. As a female, I was vaccinated for HPV when I was younger, regular get SDI tested, especially when I'm sexually active.

Oh. I was not sexually active for about two years. when I turned 30. During that time, I had another STI panel done and was positive for HPV when I was always negative a 4. How can I be negative for years and then positive during the time I was not sexually active? What the hell happened there? Toilet seat. Yeah, I've been telling you guys for years it's the toilet seats.

My gyno told me they don't test for HPV until a person turns 30 because it's so common. She related it to testing for a cold virus during every panel. It seems sketchy to me. need to change doctors? No, no. It is, yeah, that's interesting. It is because, so human papillomavirus, so that's what causes, it causes warts of any kind, but the kinds we worry about when it comes to herpes awareness day are the ones that basically

cause changes to the cervix or genital warts. But the ones that cause changes to the cervix is what increases the risk of cervical cancer, and that's why women have pap smears and have testing for that stuff. Yeah, that can be serious stuff. Totally, yeah, yeah. I mean, you don't. That's what a pap smear test for? A pap smear test for cervical cancer, which our understanding of that has evolved, even

since I was in medical school. I mean, it was thought to be associated with human papillomavirus. Now I think it's basically thought that is the cause. There could be rare other causes, but human papillomavirus causes, basically it gets on to the survey. and it causes changes that, and we've talked about this before, it changes that anytime a body is trying to react to some irritant or problem and cells are trying to turn into something and protect themselves,

then there's a chance for them to grow abnormally. And so that's kind of the model there. So HPV vaccine is a pretty revolutionary thing. It can help provide immunity against some of the strains of human papillomavirus that cause the high risk strains, basically, the ones that tend to cause cervical cancer. It's not perfect. And, yeah, the testing strategy at this point in terms of PAPSMEers and screening and all that, for women under 30, HPV screening at the time of PAPSMEA is not part of the algorithm

because it is so common. you do have PAP smears and you may have testing if you have an abnormal one to actually look for the HPV. But the problem is, well, it's actually a confusing discussion because that testing strategy has evolved over years based on kind of what can you do with the information. You can't get rid of HPV. So all you can do over time is monitor. and then if there are changes to the cervix, you can treat that basically, essentially similarly to how you would treat a ward on the skin, freezing it, burning it, cutting it. Shaming it.

I mean, shaming is unfortunately not effective against human papillomavirus. Talking dirty to it. I don't have a degree. It worked well with me when my parents raised me that way. It guided me to act a certain behavior, a certain way, but HPV does not respond. Okay. So, no, her doctor. is correct. And I know that

probably sounds weird but it's because the logic of it is complicated. Yeah, and it's hard for me to sum it up. But basically it's, you know, you can't, if it's there, you can't get rid of it easily. Okay. But the young women, their body

often does get rid of it. That's the thing. Naturally. Yeah. So. Wow. So you don't really want to be looking for it aggressively other than looking for evidence of injury to the cervix with the pap smear. Okay.

Because a young woman's body can often eliminate it. Just kick it out. Yeah. Did not know that. So you said HPV? Yeah, human papillomavirus. Has no cure. It does not.

No. I mean, just like herpes. Basically viruses. That leads us to our next question. Which STDs are curable and which are not? STIs. People have been texting insinid. I mean, it's true.

When did that change? Why is it? Exactly. And it's, I am terrible with that. It's just, I've always called it's sexually transmitted disease. It is sexually transmitted infection. Fair enough. Or it could be sexually transmitted illness. Which ones can we rid ourselves of and which can we not? Yeah, basically bacterial ones you can. So gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis are all treatable with antibiotics. Goneray and chlamydia, you know, they can cause all sorts of bad stuff, but they don't, but it's generally isolated to your reproductive organs. So not good, but, and they're becoming more and more resistant to antibiotics, so. Oh, they're fighting harder than ever.

Are those like the itchy, Bernie, mucky stuff coming out type of things? Yeah, yeah, but it can also, you know, especially for a woman, it can cause infections getting up into the uterus or abdomen or, you know, even up around the liver. I mean, there's just because of the anatomy. You threw down with some frat boy, and now a sudden your liver is in jeopardy. Right. That shouldn't happen.

So basically viral ones are the ones that we cannot completely treat. I mean, HIV is a great example. We can't get rid of it, but in the last, I guess, 35 years, wasn't it? It was basically 1990 or so. I mean, that it became, you know, Is it no longer a death sentence? I mean, it seems like it's not as big a deal as it was when we were growing up.

It's something that can be chronically controlled. Yeah, I mean, and the medication regimens have gone from, you know, you had to take medicine. You had to have a timer or a watch that would remind you to take it six times a day. Now it's one pill a day or even injectable things. So it's a controllable illness. Herpes, you can be on medication to suppress it. but yeah to actually get rid of it not so much you can live with it now right a friend of mine's dad sadly passed from it he had a

he's in a terrible car accident got a total blood transfusion like all of his blood was replaced and they weren't testing for it at that time back then so he got it and he passed not too long after that yeah it is no it's a chronic illness treated with treated with medication that seems to work very effectively that's good yeah so next question for Dr. P on this STI only edition of his visit to the Half-Ass Morning Show. Oh, I love this question. From a female listener,

what problems could result from unprotected anal sex with my husband or in a pinch some other jabroney? Okay, what? What problems could result from unprotected anal sex with my husband or in a pinch? in a pinch some other jabroney. Well, I mean, there's nothing specific about anal sex that I would say is more or, well, that's

not something to be true. You might be, if anything, you're more likely to potentially. Can you get E. coli? I mean, well. E. coli get e coli. No, yeah. Not in a, I mean, there definitely can be contamination issues, but I guess it's more just, if she's wondering about sexually transgender.

transmitted illness in vaginal versus anal sex, I'd say there's not a great difference. I have always heard that when you go backyard ski, you're pretty much doubling up your chances of getting one of those ultra-comfortable UTIs. Well, I mean, as a guy? Yeah. Well, yeah, for sure. I mean. She's speaking of, I think she's speaking of herself or her husband, anybody, anyone involved. Anyone involved in this anal sex?

Right. I would say, if anything, you're increasing your risk just because the tissues involved in the rectum and colon are really good at absorbing things. And it's a great way for bacteria and viruses to proliferate. The vagina is sort of, you know, it's evolved over all these years to try to accept sperm and get rid of everything else. It's not perfect at it, but it's pretty darn good at it. that is not what the other end is for. So, yeah, I mean, if, so if she and her husband do not have any, I mean, if they're with other people and bringing potential STIs into the mix, it'll just increase her risk of getting that. Obviously, a little game of Russian roulette there. Yeah, yeah, any other jabroney.

You definitely want to use a condom to decrease the risk, but, yeah, the thrust of the question is certainly anal sex is not safe. in terms of avoiding I wouldn't want butt herpes That sounds terrible And I mean Just to fill out that equation Oral sex is also not really safer Because you can get herpes

Goneria Comedia What about bronchitis? Here's a question that says Can I get bronchitis From going down skis On a gal who had the clap No

I mean So the first So the clap. Why bronchitis? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, so bronchitis is a lung infection. I've not heard of that. I mean, I guess if you were, you know, compromised, maybe someone who was.

I have no idea. Yeah, no, no. I don't know why he's talking about bronchitis. No. Yeah, you're not going to get bronchitis from it. Man, you've got a terrible cough. Well, I went to Alexandria over the weekend and I went down on a gal. I should add one more thing about the, in terms of treatable versus non-treatable.

Cephalus is a bacteria and can be treated. amazingly, with penicillin, of all things, penicillin. It's like, we don't use penicillin for anything. That's the old thing that's been around since World War II, basically. Or maybe even earlier. And you can treat it, but the problem is syphilis. If you don't treat it early, it gets into lots of other parts of your body like your brain and can cause all sorts of problems.

So it needs to be caught and treated early. And syphilis was sort of a thing. I feel like it was, we were winning the battle against syphilis for a long time. And I'm not sure we are anymore. It's more, more common than it was for a long time. My damn. 651-9893-93. If you have an STI-related question or concern for Dr. P. Jesus on this all-Sty-I edition

of the Ask Dr. P segment. Do you recommend a loose or snug fitting condom? In what world would you ever want a loose fit? It's loose for comfort. They make snug fitting condoms? Well, I think it probably just depends on the size of the condom versus the size of you. I thought there was a conversation. I thought they were all loose in my experience.

They make finger condoms you could try that aren't really meant for sex, but they're meant to cover up a cut finger if you work in like the culinary. You've tried those too. Did you ever wear a finger condom, Josh, when you were in the culinary field? No, I didn't. They didn't invent those back in those days. I mean, I'm not sure that's legit. You know, you probably need to have a glove on.

I thought I remember. I tried to thimble still. Too much room. Now, I was in sex ed in 1986, for Christ's sake. This is a long time ago. But I thought there was some verbiage when the teacher was telling us about condoms. something about leaving yourself a little extra room there. Oh, yeah, at the tip.

Yeah, that's right. To catch everything. Right. And I think, I mean, some condoms are. That's funny. Some condoms are made with a... Reservoir. There you go, a reservoir.

That's right. Yeah, I don't know. And I don't think that was comfort so much. It's just... It's somewhere to catch the... Oh. Right. For things to be caught without rupturing the condom, I guess, is the idea.

Boy, those some bitches snap. They do. Taking them off is gross. I'll just be honest with you. I mean, yeah, but they're important, everybody. You don't like the removal process? No, no, no, no. What the hell is the matter of?

That's the most fun part for me. Just remove it like we do with, you know, like medical gloves. Have a lot of laps with that. Hi, everybody! Hi! Dr. P. Jesus, welcome to the half-assed morning show for 93X. Word up and Word Life. It's the all-STI edition of our Ask Dr. P segment.

Our listeners are just itching to ask you. about what's going on in their underwears, Dr. P. It's been lots of fun. It's well said. I like the attitude involved in some of the questions that have been texted in the attitude behind some of the questions. Another young lady, what is the accuracy of the morning after pill as opposed to the good old-fashioned routine of relying on the drunk guy

to properly put a condom on his unimpressive pee-p? What is the accuracy of the morning after pill? after pill versus the drunk guy wearing the condom. The efficacy issues must be talking about? I'm sorry. Yeah, I don't. Well, that's a good question. I mean, the drunk guy wearing the condom is not great.

It's not. Even condom use, you know, doing it by the book just like they taught you in junior high. You know, rolling it on, leave an extra room at the tip, not, you know, taking it off right after, not laying around there. I'd have to look up what the rate is, but it's less than 90% effective, I think. Huh. Whereas, you know, birth control pill is much higher. IUD is the highest, basically, so intrauterine device.

But the morning after pill, I mean, I guess I hate to think of it as just, it's not, I mean, it is contraception. It does basically prevent ovulation and or implantation. you were already ovulating. Okay. But it's highly effective, too. More so than a rubber, you think? Well, especially a rubber. I mean, it is, yes, it is.

That's very interesting. And I don't know if I have time to look that up, but it's, yeah, I mean, even perfect condom use is not, it's not as great as you would think. But it's better than, you know, the rhythm method where you're, you know, keeping track of menstrual cycle that can be done, really well if people are like measuring their, women are measuring their basal body temperature

and calculating when they're going to, did I say menstruate? I meant ovulate because if women are not near ovulation, they're not going to get pregnant. But that's still not perfect. Wow. I'd learn that as the rhythm method. I mean, that's certainly one way to call it that. Is that what they call it? Yeah, the withdrawal method, we definitely know it's not good.

Ashley, you got anything to say about all these different methods? Nothing really works. I feel like nothing really works. Nothing has 100% guarantee that you're not going to get pregnant. I think a lot of people forget that you can get pregnant from the thing that happens before the grand finale. Sure. The pre-what's it called, yeah. Exactly.

So sometimes when you have the condombo. I know a couple people that have. I know I know what you mean. I know a couple people that have kids because of that. That's terrible. I thought Dr. P. I thought that the plan B didn't work. if you were already ovulating?

I mean, it's not ideal, but I believe it still can because it, I mean, one of the things it does is overrides the body's ability to allow implantation of, I mean. I heard it makes you pretty sick. I've never had to take one, thankfully. It's relatively high dose. I've taken plenty. No effect whatsoever. That's good. It made your breasts look great, though.

It's very perky. It's high dose. I mean, it depends which one you're doing, but you're taking multiple birth control pills at the same time, essentially. So it's a high dose of estrogen and progesterone. Yeah, that could definitely make women feel sick. Oh, I have to tell you guys something crazy. Go ahead.

I had a friend in high school, and him and his girlfriend would have sex all the time, and they didn't like using condoms. She wasn't on birth control. And so she would take a plan B, every time they had sex. I mean, she was taking like 20 a month, Dr. B. And I was like, this cannot be good for your hell.

That sounds pretty bad. This should not be used as an every day or every time type of. When plan B is plan A, that's not. That's why it's called Plan B. That's not great because, yeah, you're taking really high doses of birth control pills, which is high doses of estrogen and progesterone, and that can cause problems. How about that?

Yes, somebody here said that his wife was, on birth control, they use the withdrawal method, and still she got pregnant. Gosh, fertile. I know two people that got pregnant on birth control. Oh, yeah, no, I mean, women can get pregnant on the pill for sure. I mean, I've heard plenty of stories of that. And I wonder, should we, since it is herpes or wears this day. I mean, basically, for those of you who think you may have herpes or do have herpes,

there are, you know, it is definitely worthwhile having a frank discussion with your physician because you can decrease your own outbreaks. You can dramatically lower the risk of passing it on to a partner. And it might just be a Zit. I mean, it might be. And that is actually one of just, you know, looking up the fact that it was Herpes Awareness Day. Sorry. Some people are misdiagnosed.

And so that's an interesting thing that I hadn't thought of. So say, well, someone does have herpes. they get with a new partner and that partner says, well, that's great because I have a history of herpes as well, but they actually were misdiagnosed and they never did have herpes. So they may not use the prevention. And then they really will have herpes. So you don't necessarily want to assume that's what it is. Sure. I mean, the best way to test is to test when you have an outbreak because it's definitive. Antibody tests that you could do on blood can be a little misleading. but it's worth having a very frank discussion and also just, you know, living responsibly with it if you do have herpes.

Be responsible, he says, Cubby. Yeah, tell people when you have it. If you sluts would just wait till marriage and only have sex, trying to procreate. Who are you calling a slut? You. Oh, dang it. You know, we've got a, there's a listener in our audience who broke his pecker in bed with a girl. and then that same girl a couple days later gave him an SDD.

He said, worst week ever. Oh, man. That is a bummer. Not a double shot. Is she mad at him? What the hell? Oh, God. Yeah, I'm lucky.

I've never had an issue there. Thank goodness. The broken or? Oh, I had an issue there. Broke and temple? I mean, like an STI or whatever. Oh, yeah. I mean, well, you're lucky.

I feel very lucky. Where'd you go to school, Dr. P? Yeah, for medical school or undergraduate? Or either. Where'd you go to like real college? Brown University. Not Brown College, but Brown University. In Rhode Island.

Rhode Island, Ivy League school, right? It is. This is just for fun. A listener was just joking around asking, you know, what college campus has the... Oh, the highest? Highest number. I don't think it's Brown. St. Cloud.

What? The highest number of STI. I looked it up. Oh, you did? I'm guessing you could... Yeah, I looked it up because I didn't figure you'd have any idea. Yeah. Kind of pouncing on.

you with a tough question there. And I'm sure if you went to 100 different websites, you'd probably find 100 different answers to this question. But the website that I looked up said Pennsylvania. That's also a Ivy League school. Is it not? Pennsylvania is. Yeah.

Yeah. Smart people like to be dirty, too. But I mean, I think we all would expect to see Arizona State, you know, USC, Arizona. The party schools. You would think. Madison, things like that. Huh.

Says your Pennsylvania? Let's see if there's any other This Brown University on there? I don't see it. Marquette, that's a Milwaukee school, that's nearby. Duke, oh my God. Weird. Vanderbilt, I also think you have to be quite smart

to get into Van. Southern Methodist and Texas Christian, well, that's not very Christian to be passing STDs. Oh, that's just bad. Notre Dame. You know, that's funny. I mean, maybe it's like, I mean, people who are smart in some ways maybe think they can get away with stuff and they're wrong. It could be.

So if you're smart, you can't get away with it. No. Tell us about... Karma and Chlamydia will catch up with you. Exactly. Quickly before we go, tell us about the wildest time you ever had at Brown University out there in Rhode Island. Wildest time you ever had. I mean, there was an annual event at one of the...

It wasn't a frat house. It was, what do they call it? A whorehouse? No, it wasn't that either. It was an off-campus house. Waffle house? No. But anyway, they had the naked house.

party every year. Did you go? You didn't go naked because you might get arrested. But once you were there, you got naked. And you went to this party. I did. And you got naked. It kept my shoes on every time.

I always leave the shoes on at the kegher. It was actually, it was a fascinating experience. Everybody was naked. Yeah. So you would think it would be like the most highly sexualized environment ever, but it actually were you all doctors? That's why it wasn't sexualized. No, it's just when everybody's naked, they're sort of like, whether it's just overwhelming or nothing really stands out anymore.

It was weird. Oh, that makes sense. It was actually, it was eye-opening in multiple ways. How long did you stay at the naked party? Good five, six beers? Yeah, I think so. Good for you. For the first couple years, then there were starting to be some kind of weird people showing up as it got.

Sure. You know, people who were more like. Then you'd see things quote standing out. Yeah, people gawkers, yeah. Did you turn around real quick and spin around and maybe did you knock into anybody? I mean, the thing is, yeah, you were bumping into every. What were you doing? Like, was it a dance party or what was happening?

I mean, there was people dancing. There was people talking. People drink. There were people body painting. That's great. But yeah, it's a lot of sweaty people. It's actually kind of gross, really. Sure.

I could never, never. Hey, thanks, Dr. P. for your advice and your story. Yeah, great to be here. Dr. P handed me a shout out this morning. This is a first. The first time you've ever handed it a shout-out. And I recognize this Jesus name. Good luck to Audi Parts Jesus.

He's got to have Urgery Wednesday to fix a wee little bone in his wrist, which he fractured while, quote, butt surfing under his motorcycle through turn three up at Braynard International. What happened there? He was just going fast. He's a very, very fast rider who races and had a fall that he has not had. So he was suddenly under his motorcycle trying to. to get the hell. That's not where you want to be.

Poor guy. But fortunately, he only hurt his scaphoid bone and his wrist, which is an annoying little bone that does often need surgery. But very good guy and I hope it goes well for it. Yeah, me too. The 93X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps?

Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned tuned up for summer and I think you should too. An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choke slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day.

We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' comprehensive compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com.

That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Action. Next role with Vernon Davis. I'm your host Vernon Davis. Okay, y'all, thank you. Thank you. That's my name.

Today we have Dietrich Wise. Through my example, on the field, off the field, during game day and practice, that was one way that I led because then it led to success. Next roll isn't about what's next. It's about why they do it. My man, Bobby Bones. Like, I've had a lot of stuff happen, bad and good. And so I don't have any fear of mixing it up.

That's powerful, man. Next role with Vernon Davis. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. 93X half-assed morning show. You got to be kidding me. Who greenlit this garbage? The 93X Half-Ast morning show. Welcome to what we call around here, the 93X Half-Ast Morning Show.

You know, Josh, a big-time Hollywood star. asked if he could join us on today's broadcast. What do you call it? Broadcast. A big, big, big star asked if he could join us on today's broadcast, and we agreed to allow him some time. Not a lot of time. And we've got things going on around here,

but nonetheless, dudes got a new show coming up on a channel called FX. The show is called The Low Downski. The Hollywood Big Shot joining us that we've allowed some time. The Hollywood Big Shot joining us at 8.30 this morning is Ethan Hawk. What the hell am I supposed to ask him?

I'm not qualified for this. There's plenty of we could ask him. That's exciting. I've always been an Ethan Hawk fan. By the way, just so when you talk to him, today's the season finale. So the show's started in September. So the show's season finale is tonight. He's got a few things coming up, including the release of Black Phone 2, which is coming to digital, I think, today, if it's something you want to rent or buy.

He's got a brand new show on FX. It is a new show. Correct. And it's the season finale. Correct. Oh. But I'm not, I, I'm not, he's like a damn genius for Pete's sake. I'm just some Jay Brone who scored five goals in one hockey game against Minnetonka in 1986.

He's easily one of the most talented movie actors ever. I don't know where to begin with him. He's got leading man looks. He's got acting chops. He's got an interesting life story. It'll be fun to talk to him. Unfortunately, we said, all we're going to give you is 10 minutes. so make it good. Right.

So give us your best stuff in that 10 minutes. So hopefully we get a chance to ask them some of these questions. Our entertainer, friend, C. Willie Miles is going to join us, and he's a big Ethan Hawk fan, so he's looking forward to talking to him. The season finale, when does it happen? Tonight.

Tonight. Tonight. FX. The show is called The Low Down. I watched the first two episodes, and we were waiting for the season to end. They dropped the first two at the same time. So waiting for the season to end to binge the rest. So far so good.

Did you like Training Day? I've never met anyone that didn't. Denzel Washington is, if not my favorite, one of my favorite actors, for sure. Everybody liked Training Day. Hey, Josh. Yes. You ever had your pushed in? No.

That's one of my favorite scenes in movie history when Ethan Hawke's character and Training Day almost gets his head blowed off in the bathtub. I love that scene. That was dark. Dude. You love that dark stuff. Yeah, I mean, it was just so intense. The first time I saw Training Day, I mean, I loved everything about it from start to finish,

but that scene in the kitchen with Joker and his buddies and they're going to kill Ethan Hawk, you ever get your pushed in? I love the... It has the intensity, Josh, of the Russian roulette scene from the deer hunter. Oh, gosh. That scene has stuck with me since the first time I saw it.

Ethan Hawk is awesome at what he does. We're lucky to have him. I just don't know where to begin with a guy like that. I bet he's brilliant. I bet he's just a genius if you sat him down and tested him. I'm going to ask him if he hates Mark McGrath. Do they have a history or just in general? Don't you hate Mark McGrath?

I don't know. He seems like a nice enough guy. Well, you know the whole bit there, right? They've been mistaken for each other ever since Mark McGrath became Mark McGrath. Oh, all right. Everywhere that Ethan Hawk goes, someone thinks he's Mark McGrath. From what was the name of that band?

Sugar Ray. Oh, God. Yeah, not a Sugar Ray fan. Mark McGrath seems fine. That's what I, I mean, I remember hearing the stories 20 years ago or more, that unfortunately, wherever Ethan Hawk goes, somebody says, oh, dude, it's Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray. I wonder if he's so burned out on that at this point.

I don't know. Did you guys ever see the Ethan Hawk movie Boyhood? No. No, I read about it. Yesterday. Sounds familiar. It's very fascinating because they took him 12 years to film it. They would film for like six, eight months, or a couple months, take a break so that, you know,

everybody in the cast could age because it's a complete coming of age movie where they wanted the kid to literally grow up on screen. F me. It's very fascinating. Very good movie. Oh, dude. We got people texting in and quoting that scene from Training Day. I have a little girl!

That's offended, millennial. He's this great scene, great movie. And he's been in so many friggin' projects. It's kind of overwhelming when you look up his bio. You know, I mean, my God. I mean, since he was a super young guy. And, you know, he said, though, that some of his early experiences messed him up a little bit, and he wouldn't recommend any kid go into acting until they're an adult.

You know, just wait, kind of start learning how to do it in school plays and things like that. But they'd stay out of Hollywood. What happened when he was a kid that, messed him up. Well, some of the failures, and then some of the successes, just kind of all, everything that surrounded more just the acting experience, just he said really got to him. I mean, the purge? Right. I mean, that was the best, in my opinion, pretty much by far. And he was so good in the purge. And I was so sad at how that whole thing ended up. I was hoping that, you know, we'd go on to see more of him in different movies, but more purge movies. That was

great movie. Dead Poet Society. You're saying the Purge was his best movie? No, that was the best Purge movie. Oh, I think I watched that one. Reality Bites. I like that one. Never saw it. Did anyone here watch Marvel's

Moon Night? No. No. It was okay, but he was great in that. He played kind of a weird villain. I was reading about him last night, Ethan Hawk, who will be our guests briefly later on. Hopefully we're getting them for 10 minutes. He's a busy guy.

8.30 this morning. I was reading there's another film he was in a handful of years ago where he plays a cowboy hunting down Billy the Kid. I've seen some of his stuff, but just from reading about him last night, I learned about five or six movies that I'm sure I would love, or at least, you know, the premise sounds great. So we'll see how it all plays out.

I just hope that, you know, we can hang with the guy, hang with the guy. Beer brewing and drinking Jesus mentions the movie Gattaca. Never saw it. And I saw it, and I want to see it again because I remember being kind of confused. That was another movie where I don't think I was smart enough to understand. But he's good. I mean, he's good in everything.

Sometimes, Cubby, it's not you. You're not the problem. Like total recall when that stupid movie came out. I still to this day I have no idea what happened in that movie. I don't understand it at all. And I'm not blaming myself. I'm blaming the movie. So maybe this Gattaca, Josh, maybe it wasn't your fault.

I don't know, maybe. Ethan Hawke was... People seemed to love it, so I think maybe I missed it. Ethan Hawk was in... Somebody texted in... Okay, yeah, I missed this. The Magnificent Seven. That was remade.

recently, and Ethan made an appearance in that. I loved that movie so much. Like I was saying, there's so much that I haven't seen from the guy. What I have, I've enjoyed. Eastbound at Sundown Jesus, liked him and Uma Thurman. Yeah, that was quite the coupling, wasn't it? I don't really recall that. I think they were even married, maybe even had a kid or two.

Yeah, they were married for a few years. They were like the hot Hollywood couple there for a while? Yeah. Well, there you go. Looking forward to it, but at the same time, I'm wondering, is this guy too smart for us? We'll find out. I think so.

Yeah. Too friggin smart for us? I'd like to mention one movie when we get him on the telephone line. I wonder if the rest of you have seen it. It's called Before the Devil Knows You're There. Before the Devil knows you're dead. Before the Devil knows you're dead? Anybody?

I haven't seen it, no. One of the most soul-crushing, depressing, dark, awesome movies I've ever watched. He and Philip Seymour Hoffman, I don't know, 10, 15 years ago, I couldn't tell you. It is so well made, you will want to vomit several times during this movie. And I just want to throw that at him and say, dude. You know, it'll sound something like this, Josh. I'll say, hey, Ethan, you know that movie that you made? Before the Devil Knows You're Dead?

And he'll say, yeah, and I'll say, dude. I wonder what he'll say something like, I know. I can feel agree with you on your dude. Anybody in a listening audience, 651, 989, 933, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, starring Ethan Hawk and Phillips Seymour Hoffman. And what was your name? Marissa Tomei. Marissa Tomei.

just it'll destroy you. And I loved it for that reason. Oh, this is cool. I guess I didn't know he had siblings. Successive diarrhea, Jesus said. It's kind of crazy we're having Ethan Hawke on today. He was hanging out with his brother, Mike, just earlier or later last week.

I've been waiting this entire time, and I followed that joke. I've been waiting this entire time to see if you're, if you were going to do something. No, that's usually your bit. I didn't want to steal. That's kind of the Mike deal is kind of your bit. I didn't want to take that from you. You do that bit every once in a while. Mike?

Yeah. Hawk? Yes, correct. That's a bit that I've done before? Yes, indeed. Oh, I don't remember ever cut in loose with that one. Ashley, you laughed a minute ago. Do you know what I was referencing?

Yeah. I've been waiting for Josh to see if he was going to do the bit. understandable. Still waiting for you to pounce on me. For what? I missed it. No, you haven't missed anything. Oh.

I've been waiting for you to... All right. I have to say it. I don't want to say it, but I'm going to say it. I've been waiting for you to make a Ethan Hawke Tua reference. Oh, no, no, no. I wouldn't do that. He's too much of a respected actor.

Well, I mean, not when we have them on the phone, but like just say right now, just for fun. I've been bracing myself. What else is going on around here? Yeah, so Ethan Hawk at 830. Where the hell did I? Oh, yeah. He must be, like I was saying, a few minutes ago, he must be brilliant. He must be, if you sat him down and tested him, I'm guessing, a genius.

Actor, writer, producer. I mean, when he was still 19, 20 years old, if I read correctly last night when I was reading about Ethan Hawk, when he was still in his late teens or early 20s, he started his own production company. I mean, these are things that I wouldn't even begin to understand how to approach such a thing. So he must be brilliant.

Here are, and maybe there's more of us, More of those types out there than we know. Here are seven habits that suggest you're smarter than you realize. Okay? See if maybe one of us should be given a little more credit for their intelligence. Seven habits that suggest you're smarter than you realized. When you talk to yourself out loud. Oh, I do that a lot.

Sometimes. Yeah, you do. frustrated with myself. Or if I'm trying to remind myself, or excuse me, say something where I don't forget. Hope it just sticks in my memory. I talk to myself out loud, absolutely. I probably do it way too much.

It's pretty nice, though. I would even, like, kind of talk to myself when I was at the grocery store or in public. Sometimes I would, like, realize that I'm talking to myself. But now I don't look crazy because I have a baby with me. Again, with the baby. I thought it was because you're going to say because you live in Coon Rapids and a woman talking to herself in a grocery store isn't all that of the ordinary up there. You are right.

You are right. But obviously he doesn't understand anything I'm saying, but it makes me feel less crazy. You can blame it. If anyone said, hey, crazy lady, are you talking to yourself? You can now say, oh, I'm talking to my child. Yeah, just talking to the baby, man. You can just put a headphone, like an air pod in or something. People think you're on the phone.

That's a good idea. I like to narrate my activities to my dog. or dogs when I get home. I narrate everything. Hanging up my backpack. I'm going to walk over and get a dental chew. I like to kind of talk about everything I'm going to do. I think we relate on this, Josh.

Don't we both, or I know I do. I believe you do it too. Kind of like sing what you're doing sometimes. Oh, constantly. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Sometimes it's a song. I talk to myself.

I do. I like to pretend I'm Morgan Freeman, though, and then narrate kind of what I'm doing. Not if anybody's around, but certainly my dog's here quite a bit. I do something similar, Josh, where sometimes when I'm playing video games like Mario Carter Donkey Kong, I'll talk out loud as if I'm announcing what's happening in the action.

I'm like, oh, brilliant move by Wessel there. He's taking the lead for sure. And I do it in a British accent for some reason. I know why because you're doing like a soccer match. Yeah, exactly, yeah. I talk to myself out loud quite a bit. Usually the most common thing that I say out loud is, okay, what the hell am I doing?

Sometimes I have to verbalize that in order to remember what I was in the middle of or what my next task was going to be. I think we hear that at least once after every show and we're all hanging on the studio together. Oh yeah. It helps me to head in the right direction. If you stay up late into the night, you might be smarter than you realize. Well, that used to be me. Oh, I love staying out but late.

Yeah, me too. It's tough to do now, obviously. Yeah. It used to be me, but even on the weekends. I don't. I don't enjoy staying up too late because I just feel so horrible the next day. Studies show that people who naturally prefer evening hours tend to score better on all kinds of tests and things like that.

Now, if this nightmare ended today and I had no reason to wake up in the morning, I wonder if I would go back to my night owl hours, which I look. loved so much as a young person. Three, four, five o'clock in the morning, staying up, and then wake up around one or two. That was my preferred wheelhouse. I don't know. I wonder if, now that I'm not a kid anymore, maybe that wouldn't feel so good anymore to stay up so late. This person here says that we're crazy for talking to ourselves.

He just talks to the Victorian-era ghost that's sitting next to it. But we're crazy. Doodling. Oh, I'm a big doodeler. You're very good. My wife is a doodler, but you put her to shame. She's very good, but I guess I'll say you're very, very good. Yeah, thank you.

I get a little carried away sometimes. Well, it doesn't have to be beautiful when you doodle. It just studies show that during meetings or during downtime, you just weep-de-deep, deep, deep, and draw little pictures or shapes or anything. if you are a doodler. I do that every single day here. It shows intelligence. Doing pretty good so far.

Asking a lot of questions. Says here smart individuals recognize how much they don't know, which pushes them to seek deeper understanding, otherwise known as ask more questions. I don't know why they had to make it sound so fancy-smancy. If you're the type of person who asks a lot of questions, you might be smarter than you're

realize, enjoying regular time alone. Yeah, I'm a fan. Being alone rocks. Yeah, it does. Some folks can't stand it. That's so strange to me. I know a couple that really can't. I know a couple people that it's, I mean, it drives them nuts where they have to be on the

phone or they have to be with people at all times. And I can tell, like, I'm pretty far down the phone list when they're driving. I can tell there's one in particular where I'm like, well, they've been. must have had a lot of people that didn't answer. Four or five, a miss calls. Yeah, one of the kids, for sure, I know. I'm number five or six. Sometimes I'll have to ask, all right, who didn't answer?

Where am I at today? So these people, you can tell when they call you, you can tell they're simply calling you out of loneliness? Correct. Yeah, I don't know if it's loneliness or what it is. They don't like being with their own thoughts or what the situation is. But, yeah, they need to be in constant communication or around people at all times. Yeah, I know a couple of people like that as well.

They will just get in the car and go anywhere. Get in the car and start popping by people's places. It's because being alone, and they live alone too, being alone in their own place, they're just not comfortable. So they have to be amongst people. you might imagine when COVID hit town and for a couple weeks there we were encouraged to you know just stay away from each other it made them mental oh I know that affected quite a few people even those that like being by themselves I mean certainly just that extended period of time

for me it it it reestablished how much I enjoy just sitting and doing absolutely nothing yeah same here I thought this is pretty cool it gave me a reason to slow down and when I did, I didn't think I was going to like it, but I did. I really liked it. Night after night after night after night. Not going anywhere. Suddenly I thought, wow, maybe I was meant to be a hermit of some sort. Okay, rolling through these habits, I guess, that suggest you're smarter than you realize. Forgetting small details. See, I get my balls busted upside down for forgetting small details. Yeah, me too. Same.

But now we can throw it back in our accuser spaces and say, hey, it's brilliance. Nothing I can do about it. I'm hampered by my own brilliance. I have too much knowledge in this brain to remember those fine. That ain't details. It says your intelligent minds actively filter out what might be unnecessary data to make room for more significant things. So if we forget that. You know, tomorrow you're going to happy hour with your girlfriends. If we forget that on Wednesday there's a dentist appointment, it's not because we don't care.

It's not because we're stupid. It's because our brains are worried about bigger things. That's great. So next time somebody gets frustrated with you, you just say, I'm sorry for being a genius. Right. What am I supposed to do? I have noticed some of the smartest, most talented people have ever met

are very, very stupid at things everyone else can just do. whether that's figuring out how to microwave a hot dog or things like remembering, like you just said, an appointment or whatever that is. And I've got my brother-in-law is a certified genius. And every once in a while there's little things that everyone else can do that just escapes him for whatever reason. You guys get along, you and your certified genius brother-in-law? We do, yeah. So you're telling me that a certified genius and a certified G can be friends? Yeah, it works out pretty well.

I guess we've heard that from people who like know celebrities, certain celebrities that are very talented. Like we had a mutual friend who would talk about, and maybe there's a lot behind this, a very famous person who would do things like grab a water out of the fridge and forget to close the refrigerator door. Just things like that. Okay. The couple of pals that I have had for my entire life who are, in my opinion, the smartest couple of guys that I've ever known. I can't say that they mirror what you were saying, Josh,

that they don't know the simplest things. They know all kinds of complex things, and they don't know the simplest things. I can't say that I can relate to that. But we've both agreed on this. The smartest guys that we both know are also the strangest. they're just strange kind of awkward dressers. They're awkward in how they have conversations with other people.

Right, we've agreed on that, that they're a little odd. For some of them, yeah. All right, this last little habit that might suggest that you're smarter than you realize goes against what I was told, and that is swearing more than average. I remember when I was a kid, when I would really get to cussing, an adult would usually tell me it makes you sound stupid. Yeah, that's a sign of low intelligence. Right, it's a sign of low intelligence. Well, this report contradicts that.

Sweet, I cuss a lot. Well, didn't you say of this list, Ashley, that you're pretty much a genius? Yeah, I'm doing pretty good. You said looking at this list that you were essentially one of the smartest people we've ever met. Yep, you're welcome. Now, it's... Well, thank you. No, we're very appreciative.

Yeah, and we are. Someone of your intelligence would bother to mix with the three of us, pure donkeys, the three of us. We're very pleased that you would join us. But keep in mind on this swearing thing. It sounds to me like you've got to be able to mix it up. If everything is MFer to you, if your favorite, if you have one favorite curse word,

that you constantly dump over and over and over again, that doesn't necessarily mean you're of higher intelligence, but if you can mix it up and use a variety of curse words, and maybe ones that, I mean, you're only lucky enough to hear once every few months, that's when people... So you know what that means? My brother, my twin brother, must be beyond brilliant. He knows curse words that some of you have never heard of.

He knows how to cross and mix familiar curses into brand new. It's unbelievable. I've always appreciated that in somebody. He can do things. Innovators. Yes. They're gross. They're offensive.

And kids on the road see them. Half-ass morning show. 93X. Tell you what's up. Today is our final final here for this year work week. And I got the feeling we're not the only ones. Welcome to the Friday issue of the 93X Half-Ass Morning Show. Welcome to the front.

Josh, how do I look? Oh, you look as great as always. Did you shave? No, no, no. Keep in mind, I still have to shower and shave, which I haven't gotten around to in a few days, but how do I look overall? I think very nice. Is that a new hoodie, maybe?

No, it's older in the hills. Have you... Older in your mother's ass. Have you lost weight, put on weight, got a haircut, grow your hair out? What's different? Oh, do I look different? Yeah.

Christ, I don't know. Am I supposed to notice something? Or maybe you've got something coming up that you want to make sure you look good for? I didn't know I look different. We can get back to that. But I'm just checking with you. You're my closest bro.

I trust you. Got a big event this weekend. I got a big event to attend. So I got to get cleaned up a little bit. Tomorrow night I'll be attending my house. high school reunion. We've hit our 35th year since high school closed out for us back in the year of 1990. Oh, I was wondering, we pulled in and there's a rented Lamborghini in the parking. I should have guessed it must be class reunion time for somebody. Me and my Lambo. That is so cool

that you guys do that. There's not many of us, Smaschley. They haven't been able to figure it out yet for my class. They tried to do a five year. It didn't work. Three words for why you can't get things together with your high school class for any kind of a reunion. North, Saint, and Paul are the three words there. It is funny that you mentioned that because just this morning I was on Facebook and I saw that somebody posted in like the graduating class Facebook group and said, is anybody going to

try to do this 10-year thing? And everyone's like, well, you have to find people to plan it. So that's what we're messing out. That's where you're sitting right now, 10 years out? Yep. Okay. You're only 10 years out? Only.

Gosh, it feels like a lot. For us, I mean, I just had my 30th. Actually, I was concerned about that the stereotype where people, you know, they might fake it to appear as if they're a little more successful, renting a cool car, things like that. I don't know if anybody's actually ever done that. I've heard stories. I've never seen anything like that. that and I've gone to all the reunions. Word up.

Class of 90. Word up. The day before our reunion, I had swapped my truck out for a new lease and I didn't bring it on purpose just because I didn't want anybody to think that it was on purpose. Sure. Yeah. Now everybody think that, oh, look at this guy. Brand new vehicle.

I've never. So I drove my wife's truck out there, or vehicle out there. Sure. I've never seen any of that. I've never seen any of that kind of. They call it like peacocking. Yeah, peacock. I've never.

But, you know, so that's where I'll be headed tomorrow night. Some of my friends are so opposed to such things. They get all edgy about it. Why opposed? I mean, I could see not interested, but why opposed? And they all say the same thing. Why do I want to go out of my way to hang out with a bunch of people that I never liked in the first place, they say? And I always think, well, damn, you could have fooled me.

You sure seemed like you enjoyed those people and enjoyed. your life back when we were kids. Now I find out you actually didn't? It's different now for me because the first couple, I certainly was going to try and hook up with girls I had hoped to hook up with in high school. Hell yeah. And then once you get, you know, when I was married, that that's off the table. So I grew less and let. Well, in my relationship, my wife won't let me. It's frustrating. It's one of the biggest arguments we have. So yeah, I still enjoy it. I always do. It's different for me.

I don't know. I always enjoy seeing people from the old timey days. I look forward to events like this. Some of my friends get all edgy and are so opposed to it. I don't understand. But, you know, that's their own thing. So should I squeeze in a few push-ups before I go, or am I good? Oh, anytime I go somewhere, I always do a couple of push-ups.

Well, don't you have that walk tomorrow as well? You'll be looking nice and slim and slender at the reunion if you do that 90-degree lake walk. I hope it knocks a couple of pounds off. Sure, I've got to do a charity. Oh, yeah, you'll be sweating. You'll sweat some water weight. Really? So where's it at?

Like a bar? That's none of your damn business. Yeah, it's at a bar. What do you get? Not good. Well, just give me a ballpark. I'm curious because your class size was what? Massive.

Massive. Five, six hundred kids? Yeah, and we had like 150. Well, yeah, you went to one of those goofy cult-like private Catholic schools. Yeah, not necessarily cult-like, but cult exactly. And we have like, you know, sometimes like 40 people or something. It's a good representation. So, I mean, are you, do you think you're more than that?

I would be surprised if there were more than 40 people. Cubby, I've been to a few of these where there's 10 of us, 12. Yeah. You know, I hear that a lot. And sometimes it's weird. Like my wife, she went, her graduating class was the entire city of Minneapolis. It was ridiculous. She went to South. And she said, like, some of them are very, very lightly attended. Yeah, lightly attended is a good way to describe. I mean, the first couple

were kind of wild because we were still so young. But the last few years, it's been, you know, 20, 25. I'd be surprised. I'd be impressed. If we got 40 or 50 people, that would be great. the five-year reunion felt like you were just coming back from summer vacation from school. Right. And it felt exactly the same. Everybody pretty much looked the same. Now, the 10-year reunion was different. A lot of people changed.

I wasn't interested in whatever. I think they ended up getting like 10 people together for a five-year reunion. And when that came around, I was like, I have no interest in seeing you guys yet. So you sound like my friends now. Yeah, but now that... Well, you're saying it was too soon. Yeah. But now that...

Yeah. A lot of people say the five years unnecessary because Christ, we just saw each other. I understand that. It would be pretty cool to see all those people again. I don't care if there's six or 600. I dig. I dig just finding out, you know, oh, you're that guy and whatnot. And you're that gal.

I haven't seen you. I dig it. I want to know where my enemies are at in life. You mean to compare the success levels? Yeah. 1990 when Millie Vanilli, the fine young cannibals, the B-52s, and Wilson Phillips ruled the airwaves, Tommy. Wilson Phillips could still rule the airwaves if people played them.

Now, that is a dynamic duo right there. Well, they're a trio, actually. Well, I know, but there's, for the joke, it's Wilson and Phillips. You know, there's two of them. Oh. So you, as far as going to this reunion goes, you don't plan on renting a hot car. No, I'm not going to play that game. Your wife went to your high school, different class.

Is she going to join you for this thing? No, you don't bring significant others to reunions. No, what? No, you don't. If you love each other, you don't. I totally agree. Like, my wife's never made me go to hers. Maybe she doesn't even want me there.

I have. That's a good point because, yeah, my husband would be so bored. You'd be like, oh, who's this? Who's this? Who's this? There are exceptions. And I feel like my wife and I are an exception to the rule because we went to high school together. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, definitely.

I went to her last reunion. She graduated two years after me. By her request or you just decided to go? Oh, I don't remember who made the call. So we know all the same people. We have all the same friends. So I feel like that's an exception to the rule because I went to her reunion. I know everyone from her class the same way she knows everyone from my class.

So she'd be more than welcome to join me tonight. I don't think she has any interest. But I didn't know that rule at first. the significant other rule. I brought a girlfriend to our 20th reunion, and everyone walked up and said, what the hell are you doing? And I said, you don't bring a girlfriend to the...

And I said, you know what, you're right. I effed up. I went to a couple of girlfriends' reunions, and it wasn't any fun. I mean, I knew absolutely nobody. Yeah, you don't know any of the stories or inside jokes. Yeah, so that would suck. I can't imagine going to a reunion

or asking someone to come to a reunion when you don't know anybody. I think my husband would be eyeballing people. You'd be like, huh, that Joey guy you just hugged. I'm pretty sure you told me a story about this one time. You and him hooked up behind the school. Oh, you're friendly with him still, huh? Have you told your husband all the stories about Joey?

Oh, yeah. You have. He's heard all my high school stories. Well, a lot of them you told on the radio. Yeah, exactly. Like a very open. You're very open. So there you go.

People texting saying they busted folks renting vehicles. Oh, that's funny. Lying about careers. That'd be tougher to do now with social media. And that's what some folks are texting and saying, hey, social media kind of killed it. And I've heard that before, too, where you're still keeping up with a lot of people. You're not on social media. I'm not.

So I was going to ask about your friends that are opposed to it. Are they on social media? So they're very aware? They're on social media. My wife still likes to go, and she keeps up with everybody on social media. But you're right. I've heard that angle before. Well, now that there's social media, you can contact anyone at any time and you...

And you see what's going on in their lives where back in the day, I mean, you'd have no idea. I don't play the social media game, so sure, right. Yeah, I mean, my wife's class, I mentioned I went to her 30th reunion or something, a summer or two ago. They had a great crowd. I was very jealous of their crowd. My class, eh, you never really know. We'll find out tomorrow night. But I mean, my God, I mean, who's in the parking lot paying attention to what people are driving, number one?

Sounds like Ashley might be there. You mentioned that people renting a hot car so they appear to be more successful. Who the hell is hanging out in the parking lot and bothering to notice that in the first place? That's a long way to go, in my opinion. Well, maybe somebody's like, oh, did anybody see the key fob to my Porsche? I set it over here somewhere. How silly? I think it would be really cool if they did like class reunion.

back at the school. I would love to walk through my high school again. So many memories, that's so fun. I want a middle school reunion. That's what I really want. Those were the three best years of my life. You liked middle school better than high school? I loved high school, but middle school even more so because that's where all my like loves started. Just like music and different genres of movies, things like that that I really got into. And more and more freedom. I mean, we were on our bikes gone

everywhere. My folks let us just kind of basically if it was daylight, we could go wherever we wanted. I suppose it makes sense that maybe you'd be more favorable to junior high than high school, because in high school you really didn't party. You weren't going to keg fight showdown karate killer. I mean, I went to him, but I wasn't like a party year. I loved, I mean, high school was awesome. We had a lot of fun, but middle school was just kind of, you know, the commune and I grew up and there was no privacy. My parents were very, very strict, but I got a little more freedom, six through eighth grade and that's where I made some of my all-time best friends so how many of us have them friends friends ones we can depend on friends so there you go that was the time of my life

where I was with my friends constantly yeah all the time I don't even remember being home much especially in the summer mm-hmm mm-hmm you know off air before we cracked the mics Josh you seemed a little upset you seem fine now but you seemed a little upset a few minutes minutes before we went live. You said you spotted someone walking around the building and they had a boner? Well, it was a dog. And I don't like Oh, a dog. I don't like dog boners at all. What do you have against dog

boners? Well, you know what it is? Well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. There's a dog in the building? I can't believe I almost blew right past it. Well, there's always a dog in the building, it seems like. Yeah, it's almost every day. Steve's dog. Who is? From KQRS. There's a dog in the building every day. Pretty much, yeah. I've never seen

this dog. Oh, you've seen. He sneezed a lot. And you saw it in the hallway and it had a boner? Why were you looking, bro? I wasn't looking, bra. Have you ever seen a dog boner? I don't think so. It's like basically... What do you mean you don't think so? What? I have seen so many. I don't know. I honestly don't think I've ever seen a dog boner.

I guess you just don't get them excited, Dana. I guess not. You know what? That's what happens when you're ugly. You're an attractive guy. A dog's going to get a boner around. Ashley's ducking out of the way of them day and day. What are you taking? You're 40 years old. You've never seen a dog bonner. You got a male dog, don't you? Yeah. I've never seen him get erect.

Oh, man. Wow. It stands out. It stands out. I've always had little dog. I've had two dogs in my life. They were both very small. Never seen a red rock at the pink crayon.

No. Well, I walked out the door and right in front of me the dog sitting there, and it has a massive erection. I mean, it's impressive. It is a big dog. It's a big dog. And I didn't like that at all. As a matter of fact, oh, my God. I understand.

Can I sue the company? Probably. That's a meal ticket. You can at least try. I'm going to give it a shot. I'm sorry about the dog boner job. Yeah, you know what? It's, have you ever accidentally brushed up against one?

No. Oh, man. No, I have not. Thankfully. It's an argument to have nothing but girl dogs. It's just so, it's so gross. Dog boner in the building. One of my dogs isn't neutered.

And so I think this is the only dog I've had that hasn't been neutered. And the only time I've ever seen something this drastic, So when he gets excited, I mean, it's, I'll put it this way, my husband gets jealous and pissed off. Stop it. Oh, my God. It's crazy. We had, so our most recent dog, we had him neutered. And I thought that was going to change, you know, but it has not changed.

Still humping? No, he doesn't do any humping. Oh, okay. It's just the arousal. Get the boner. Dogs. That's not right. So gross.

They don't mean to. I know. they don't. I can't believe you've never seen a dog bone. That's difficult to believe. Never once. No, I don't think. I mean, maybe it is.

You would remember. I'd remember. It's very difficult to. Imagine taking a tube of lipstick. Sure. And then twisting it so the lipstick pops out. Yeah, I've seen in South Park, but I can't think of a time I've seen in real life. I've seen enough for both of us.

You haven't lived, man. We're going to have to just get past this. Oh, no. Bug-Ey wagon, Jesus. I like to play this game called Puffy Mechanic. I've got Great Danes. They're very tall. I'll just get on my creeper.

I get underneath them, and then I'll just fix them up, whatever they need, and then I sing a little puppy mechanic song. I've heard about it. And he said, I hope there's never been any dog boners. No, thank God.

That would either the dog or I would move out if that ever had. Yeah, you can't look at each other anymore. No. Oh, Kenny, the disrespect. Captain Pinky is another nickname that a listener has given your typical all-American dog erection. It's a terrible, terrible thing. And for Christ's sake, Josh was eye to eye to one right here in the hallway at work.

Nose to nose. That shouldn't happen. Yeah, I mean, it was right on stage, right when I walked out. Shouldn't happen. We got to put up a sign, caution may run into dog boners or something. Mouse and Jesus, Jesus has texted into the program back to our conversation. about high school reunions, I'll be attending mine tomorrow night. We're 35 years out at this point.

Mouse and Jesus, Jesus has texted in to say, Nick, while you're there, make sure you get an apology from anyone who wronged you back in school. Dude, we both had experiences like that. At my wife's last class reunion that I attended with her, there was one guy who, and I was, I don't remember if he put on the name tag or not, you know, because they passed out the name tags, which is helpful, of course. It was one guy who walked around all night and he just would get a little too close.

Number one, he was kind of a close talker, and this is what he ran by, everybody. You don't remember me, do you? That's so weird, because I had the same, that was my five-year reunion, and we looked at this kid and we're like, dude, we just graduated, of course, and you look exactly the same. Well, this guy was, you know, 30 years out, and he was putting that pressure on everyone to remember him. I would act like I had no idea who he was, just to aggravate him. Oh, no, and I said, no, I don't. I mean, what am I supposed to say? Did you really not?

No, oh, you really? I thought maybe it was the same as my situation. 30 years out, you know, lots can change. So I said, no, I don't. Then you had a big class. Yeah, and he was doing this to everybody, you know, like guilt-tripping everybody. Come on, man. Come on.

In my case, I didn't get it. I thought it was a bit. I had to tell, I'm like, okay, we graduated five years ago, and we had a small class. How would I not remember? This guy was pushing the narrative, is that the term? He was pushing the scenario on everyone that they missed out. You should have paid closer attention to me back then. Oh, that's embarrassing.

That was his thing. Is he really good looking or something? I don't remember his appearance to be totally, and this upset him, I guess, if he hears about it. I don't remember what he looked like, but it was uncomfortable. It really was. of people kind of worried about the guy. This is what you came here for to kind of make everyone, make everyone feel bad about. He's got a trench coat.

You know what was weird about the, your tenure? Dog boner. Did you say yours is coming up, Ashley, or you should have a 10 year soon? Yeah, it should have a 10 year. I graduated in 2016. Well, I don't know if it's the same for everybody, but I can tell you the 10 year, you look around the room and go, whoa, with some people, we're the same age. I mean, some people still look real young. others look maybe 30 years older than they are.

Oh! And I remember our football coach had said, hey, just wait to your five or ten years. All the thin kids are going to be fat, and the fat kids are going to be thin. And he was right in several cases. A couple of me didn't even recognize. It's going to be fun.

I really do enjoy it. There was a moment. I was pretty embarrassed because a girl came up to me. She's like, hey, you know, whatever. And we were talking, and it must have been obvious. I didn't remember who she was. And she's like, I'm so-and-so. And she had put on so much weight, I didn't recognize her.

I mean, she probably doubled her weight. She was thin in high school, very heavy. She was so-and-so and then a little more. Yeah. Yeah. It was, I mean, it was crazy. So the difference was, side-by-side, you would never guess it's the same person. Right.

So luckily, she had a hat on, and I go, oh, my God, I've never seen you with a hat on. I had no idea what else Nice work I think she bought it Yeah if I was her I'd be like Uh huh Oh you wouldn't have bought it Dang it maybe she pretended she did

Nice work She knows though She knows Josh And you claim you don't You're not good in clutch situations like that In social settings You claim you're not a clutch performer That was pretty clutch right there

Well I remember it because I even thought Oh wow that was somewhat decent And I think she believed me But I mean really the Never in a million years If somebody pointed that out, I'd guess that was that person. Maybe you've heard of this 5K a day madness. You have five different chances a day to win $1,000 around here.

All you've got to do is listen. Here we go now. Here's your first shot at winning $1,000 with 5K a day. Text the national keyword, play to 95819. Play is the word. And that's how you enter for a chance to win. We'll text you back to confirm. your entry. Data and messaging rates may apply so don't get all pissy with us. And please don't

text and drive or anything silly like that. $1,000, huh? I've never seen that kind of money, not all at once. And the key word is play? It's perfect. Really? I'm about ready to go to my class reunion from the class in 1990. The word is play. There was nothing bigger in 1990 than Kid and Play. Oh, man. I love Kid and Play. I love their movie House Party. I love their their dances, I love their songs. Never saw their movie, but I didn't like their gimmick. You never saw a house party? Who was your favorite, Kid or Play?

It's the toughest question you've ever asked me. Yeah, I don't mean to put you on the spot. God, I love their bit. I loved Kid and Play, and they were big in 1990. Martin Lawrence was in the original House Party movie. Oh, was he? John Witherspoon was in the original House Party. He's the one who said Public Enema. Who wants a Public Enema? I've seen that clip.

And Martin Lawrence's name in the movie, Josh? name in the movie. Isn't like blau or something? Below. Billow. Yeah. Come on baby. This reminds me. You guys are going to be so proud of me. I watched Raising Arizona yesterday. What did you think? Yeah, I did it.

I could absolutely kiss you right now. Really? Yes, I love this scene. It's so long of him running with the diaper. This is great. Now, I push all these old movies on you people all the time. I want you so badly to experience these great, great movies from the 70s and 80s.

Usually, you completely ignore me. Although Dana, he watched Midnight Run. Sure did. When I started pushing it a few months ago, you loved it. Absolutely loved it. And you thought I was a friggin' idiot when I brought it up. I could tell by the way you were looking at me, you thought I was an idiot. I was like, the guy from Beethoven and it's a high, I was like, wait a minute, okay.

Robert De Niro. Yeah. And I was like, holy crap, this is fantastic. Nicholas Cage. Like Guy from Beethoven. Charles Groden. That's hilarious. Well, that's what I grew up on.

That's what I know. I'm not making fun. I'm not making fun. Yeah, I know. I now know how great an actor he is, but when I first heard of it, I was like, oh, the angry dad from Beethoven? 1988. A movie comes out called Raising Arizona.

I've been pushing it from day one starring Nicholas Cage. You watched it yesterday, Ashley, I'm so, so happy, and I'm so happy that you enjoyed it. Yeah, it was great. That movie and cool handling. Luke. You put me on that. I was great as well. Yeah, I've never seen... The diaper scene when he's being chased

by all the dogs. I mean, just brilliant. And the cash register kid with the gun. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jesus. He's got a... Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. I like Nicholas Cage quite a bit. Would you say that's one of the... That's got to be the best,

if not top three best things he's ever done? Hands down. Easily the greatest thing he's ever done. Most of his movies are dog feces. A lot of them are. Yeah. Easily the greatest thing he's ever done. So well written, so well acted, all the characters are a riot. You know, he's great in, and I think, Dana, you agree with me on this, the unbearable weight of massive talent. Oh, he's so good in that. You might like, I don't know, Nick. You might like it. Sometimes with comedies, you're hit or miss. What is this now? He plays himself, right? Oh, right. So you're familiar?

I've heard it. What's it called? The unbearable weight of massive talent. Okay. So he plays himself and basically this rich guy, he's a huge fan. And so he hires Nicholas Cage to come basically entertain him, right? Come to his birthday party. Yeah, just be around him and it's a big birthday party he's throwing, and that was what he wanted. And just kind of the adventures they have. And he's so good at playing himself that is perfect,

and he's making fun of himself at the same time. He's really good in that. That sounds really interesting to me where he plays himself. You know, when Andrew Dice Clay had that, unfortunately, short-lived showtime program. I think it was on Showtime. Yeah, you're right. It should have lasted longer because it was really, really funny.

And the best part about it was it was just Dice being himself. And, you know, at this point in his life, he's just overweight, kind of sad, older comic that used to be hot and now nobody will give him a break. Something about the reality of all of that worked perfectly. So I'm interested in the Nick Cage movie where he plays himself. I could see you liking it. And that's kind of the version of the cage that he plays. You know, he does the gig.

He goes to his birthday party because he needs the money, you know. So he's kind of making fun of himself in that way of like, I've made all these bad financial decisions. I can't get any big roles. This guy's offered me a million dollars. I guess I'll go do it. You know, I need the cash. So he's kind of leaning into that whole, you know,

I bought a bunch of dumb stuff and I have no money anymore angle. Yeah, it's super self-aware. It's very funny. Self-aware. That's exactly. get a chance to watch that Dice show. I'm sure you can look it up. I mean, you guys know all those ways to watch programs now that I'm not familiar with.

There's an episode where Dice, maybe you've got to be a Dice fan to appreciate this, and I'm sorry I blew up if this goes nowhere. Dice and his wife go to a comedy club. And what's the actor's name with the horn on him? Brody, Adrian Brody. Adrian Brody? Yeah, super thin. Yeah.

Dice and his wife go to a comedy club. and Adrian Brody is on stage, as himself, and he's doing all of Dice's material from the late 80s and early 90s. He's got the leather jacket, he's smoking the cigarette, he's doing the, you know, sucking money, he's doing the whole thing. And Dice's wife is roaring with laughter, and Dice keeps looking at her, like, this is all my stuff. The whole crowd is roaring, and Dice is looking around.

He's like on his own planet going, Nobody notices that this is my, and he approaches Brody and challenges him on it. I forget where the episode goes from there, but you know who I really want to watch Dice? That's the name of the show. It was on Showtime. Are people who haven't liked Andrew Dice Clay. I think it'll change your opinion on him. That's a great point.

I really do. I think that you'll have an appreciation for him and see, like, he's a good guy. He really is. And back to Nick Cage. Have you guys watched the Charlie Sheen documentary yet? Not yet. Okay. When you get around to it, when I mentioned this a week or two ago,

I watched the Charlie Sheen documentary, and it was great. And Charlie discusses his relationship with Nicholas Cage when they were young, running wild in Hollywood, and they were not good for each other. They were both just absolutely out of control drugs, booze, skirt chasing times a thousand. But at any way, at any rate, Josh, or the rest of you is, when you get around to watching the Charlie Sheen documentary, watch for when Charlie does his imitation. of Nicholas Cade. It's really, really funny.

Is he good or bad? Like, is it... No, I think it's that damn good. Oh, it's that good. He doesn't do a lot of it, but there's a story, and I'll try to do it justice. There's a story that Charlie is telling where he's young, Buckwild. He and Nick knew each other, but didn't see each other for a year or so because they were both so busy making movies and whatnot. And Charlie Sheen said, I was at a party, and I'm walking, and I see this guy.

talking to like five, six gorgeous women at once. And the guy is saying this to the women. He's saying, have you seen this watch? I just got a new watch. Do you like my watch? And he recognizes a voice. That was my best imitation of Charlie Sheen's imitation of Nicholas Cage.

But that's when they reconnected and started doing blow. So, I mean, typical weird Nick Cage, he's got all these women around him, and he feels the need to ask them if, they've noticed his new watch. Steeltoe Jesus brings up, of course, face off with Nicholas Cage. Yeah, I loved that movie, too. That one is so much fun because it's so friggin' ridiculous.

It is. Exactly. And, you know, he and Travolta, for F's sake. Yeah, they were great. The combination works against all odds. The combination of Nicholas Cage and John Travolta in this dramatic action movie. Against all odds, it works, yeah. Oh, geez.

the dog just came in the studio. She's locked in. Well, hey, my first chance to see a dog bonner then. Later on today, Purple Pickham and Andrew F&D, Paula, live from London, England. We'll take a break ski. We'll come back with the stupid news here in a few minutes on the half-ass morning show. The 93X half-assed morning show.

What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC2. tuned up for summer, I think you should too. An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now,

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Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints. You need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialkylaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Action. Next role with Vernon Davis. I'm your host Vernon Davis. Okay, y'all. Thank you. Thank you. That's my mind. Today we have Dietrich Wise. Through my example,

the field, off the field, during game day and practice. That was one way that I led because then led to success. Next role isn't about what's next. It's about why they do it. My man, Bobby Bones. Like, I've had a lot of stuff happen, bad and good. And so I don't have any fear of mixing it up.

That's powerful, man. Next role with Vernon Davis. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Leho neighborinos. 93X Half-assed morning show. Oh, Gaya, Josh, one of your Eskimo brothers, Dennis Rodman. People have been

talking about. God, if I ever a Manesquam brother with Dennis Rodman, I hope I was first. I wouldn't want to follow that. Yeah. That's how COVID started. Oh. Sharing seconds with Dennis Rodman.

Dennis Rodman people were talking about. And they were specifically talking about the great run he had in the 90s. The Post said something along the lines of Dennis Rodman in the 90s went on one of the best runs in pop culture history.

Dennis Rodman at the time in the early to mid-90s was dating, in my opinion, one of the hottest mamas ever, Carmen's Elektra. Okay, he was dating Carmen's Elektra. He was playing for the Chicago Bulls and pulling down world championships, you know, with the help of that friggin' prick Mike Jordan. he was a member of the NWO. That's the coolest part. Wrestling stable in World Championship Wrestling.

And he had a movie or two with him in John Claude Van Dam or Jackie Chan or something I don't remember. Okay. That is a hell of a resume. Yeah. Yeah. In a good couple years there. In a couple years' time, right? So people started talking about some of the best runs in all of entertainment.

slash movies slash sports. Talking about people like Bo Jackson. And go ahead and text us if anyone comes to mind. Just an unbelievable run. I mean, originally they want to include sports, but it doesn't have to include sports.

Just one of those characters who all of a sudden it was movies, television, maybe a hit single or two, you know, things like that. Okay, so they use Bo Jackson as an example. You know, in the late 80s, early 90s, he's playing in the NFL. He's playing Major League Baseball. He has his wildly popular Bow-Nose Nike Shoe campaign,

widely viewed as the greatest two-sport athlete ever. And also during that run, he became the greatest video game athlete of all time, too, with Tecmo Bowl. Oh, right. He's unstoppable in that game. You cannot tackle the man. He's still known for that. Yes, he is. Or at least the game is still known for that.

Prince is in here, 1984. He dumps the Purple Rain record on us and the Purple Rain movie. Dominated the Billboard charts with all the songs from that record. Let's Go Crazy When Doves Cry, the title track, Delirious. No, that was 1999. Anyway, Prince. Will Smith, 96, 97. Yeah, he'd be one of my answers.

He's in the movie Independence Day, which was terrible. He's in the movie Men in Black, which I don't remember. I love that movie. He had the television show going. Fresh Prince of Bel Air. He had rap records going with his pal Jazzy Jeff. I remember.

I always forget about him rapping. I remember when they were. Oh, is that right? Yeah. I suppose you're too young. Yeah. That was my first experience to him as a rapper. No, mine was Fresh Prince of Bell Air.

Yeah, well, he was a rapper first, you know, and you were probably too young. You got the reruns of Fresh Prince. Jim Carrey in 1994, he does Ace Ventura. the mask, he does dumb and dumber, he quickly becomes the highest paid actor in Hollywood. And then they also, at least this article from social media includes Nicholas Cage in 95 through 97. He went on a four-movie stretch, leaving Las Vegas, hilarious, the Rock, Conair, and Face Off.

But that's, love those movies. Yeah, that's a good run right there. It's kind of fun to look back. And my damn, yeah, these, some of these spoke. we're just raking in the bucks. Well, Kevin Hart certainly comes to mind where you couldn't turn on a TV without watching him doing whatever it was.

He's at a basketball game. He's hosting an award show. He's in every movie, every television show. Absolutely. Yeah, you watch a movie of his on TV. It cuts a commercial, and three of the five commercials have Kevin Hart in them. Yeah, he's got its own product line.

Well, Adam Sandler. I know you hate Adam Sandler, but that guy was involved in pretty much everything. Yep. you know, especially, for me, it's especially significant when you are, you're featured in all different types of, I hate to sound like a dork here, but art, you know, right? The arts, television, movies, music, advertising, what am I missing? Well, how about somebody, did you say sports yet? Sure.

Okay. What about Travis Kelsey? Travis Kelsey. Well, he's all over. Travis Kelsey's an actor now. Oh, he did some television. Yeah, he probably changed. Yeah, I forgot.

He did some television. He was in a movie. He's dating. What's her name? I was going to mention him, but I wanted to save Nick the heart problems. Does he play football? He plays football. If it was football season right now, I would have lashed out at both of you for saying his name.

But I can't do that because I've been disconnected from him now. Thank you to the Philadelphia Eagles again for winning that Super Bowl. that's a very good example. Oh, here's another good one. From I'll always walk with Elias Jesus, The Rock. Sure. Television, movies, sports. And maybe.

Sports owners of advertising. Yeah, the Rock. Every effing place at once. If you want to stick with sports and stick with wrestling, early 80s, Hulk Hogan. He's the biggest wrestler in the world. He's in the Rocky 3 movie. WWF has cartoon. toys, toys, cover of Sports Illustrated?

Didn't I say that? I don't know. I didn't hear you if you did. Really? Was, yeah, you're right, though. Yeah, the cover of sports. Did he have a cereal or vitamins? He must have had vitamins.

I don't remember, but you're right. And then again, I mean, if you want to really broaden things, well, I guess I don't know, maybe it's not broadening anything. But you have to mention folks like friggin' Elvis. You know, when Elvis hit it big in the 50s, every single he released was a hit. And then the guy had a new movie every day.

He had a new movie every month. He pumped those things out, didn't he? All the way into the 60s, television specials. I mean, the Beatles, of course, hit singles, movies, cartoons, Kiss. Oh, man, yeah. Kiss in the 1970s, everywhere you talk. turn there was kiss, toys, pinball machines, movies, records, cartooned. If I didn't already say, The Spice Girls, Britney Spears. I went and saw Britney Spears movie Crossroads. I saw it the weekend,

the weekend that it opened. Of course you did. Did you say Shaq yet? No. That's another good one. Sure. Yeah. Everywhere. Movies, cartoons. He had his hit singles. Shack. He was, he's been in a couple commercials. He was in the food. Knicks. I've never heard of that. Yeah. That was a rap group that he was a part of. And he was playing in the NBA, Ashley.

And he was a member of the Fushnikins. That's a lot going on. He has on a Super Nintendo game, too. Shack Fu. He had a video game? Yeah. On Sega Genesis' superintendent called Shack Fu. He was like a karate fighter and beat people up.

Short but fat Jesus. New kids on the block. Great example. I don't think they ever had a movie, but they had their own car. Once they hit it big with their songs, they have their own friggin' cartoon. I think they had a clothing line. Not as successful as some of these others, but Nate Berluson, I'd say,

has a pretty good run going on now. Nate Burleson. Yeah, he's hosting, is it the CBS Morning Show? He hosts game shows, the Nickelodeon alternate football broadcast. He's a very busy guy. And he's on one of the NFL talk shows. Oh, that guy. I like him.

Oh, man, he can be very funny, that's for sure. Played for the Vikings. My God. Played for the Vikings. Michael Strahan? Yeah, he's hosting good morning America. He hosts a couple of shows. I don't know.

I mean, I guess I'm more drawn to the folks who, you know, not only had hit singles, but a hit movie, a hit. We're moving down the list here. We're all over the place. We're all over the place. Snoop Dog. That's a good one. one.

Oh, yeah. I don't know who. He's on that right now. I don't know who texts this in. I don't have a name, but Snoop Dog. Yeah. A lot of folks are joking. He is everywhere.

O.J. Simpson. I mean, I suppose that's true. I mean, at first I thought folks were joking when they were texting in O.J. Simpson, but it's true. In the late 70s, he was Bo Jackson. In the late 70s, he was at the end of his career. But he was considered the greatest running back of all time, doing televised. television commercials and acting poorly in movies. I'll never forget the towering inferno, one of my favorite movies from late 70s, maybe

I want to say 77, 78, maybe someone can look that up. If you haven't seen the towering inferno, you're not a real American. I'm not a real American. You will not fight for the right of any man. You're not a... And I say that because two of the greatest American actors of all time acts side by side in the Towering Inferno, and that's Paul Newman and Watch's Nuts, Steve McQueen.

But also O.J. Simpson has a small role in that movie, and as a 7-8-year-old kid when I saw that movie for the very first time, and O.J. Simpson is in. He's in the building, the Towering Inferno. I remember being very worried that O.J. might be hurt. Isn't that something? I was like every other eight-year-old kid in America. I thought O.J. Simpson was a pimp.

Yeah. Was like an untouchable God. You picked him up. You dropped him, Jesus said, we're forgetting one really big star. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah, he's a big star, but would that fall into this category? No. Because it's movies, obviously weightlifting. Yeah.

Well, you know, he was a politician. Yeah. He was in politics. I suppose if you look at the big picture. Yeah, I didn't consider that. Does he do commercials? If he does, I don't remember a commercial. Oh, he definitely has.

I mean, what we were originally discussing was someone who had like a hot two or three years where they were everywhere. Yeah, he's kind of been that way for a long time. Yeah. He's just kind of got the longevity. But I hear what you're saying now. I guess I kind of forgot some of that stuff. If you include all of his career in politics, movies, and it would not be something if he had a hit single? But we were originally talking about people.

who just were scorching hot for a two, three-year window. But, yeah, we've branched out now, and there's certainly plenty of famous folks who, over the course of 30, 40 years, have done a little bit of everything. Nick Cannon, for a while you couldn't turn your TV off with seeing Nick Cannon. See, I never saw him on television,

but I don't watch the type of programs. He would, wasn't he involved in like the, don't tell me, the amateur singer contests and what? Yeah, that's one of the things. I mean, he had his own show. He hosted a lot of stuff. Yeah, well, that's a hell of a deal. Chris Lindahl, sure.

That's a great example. Now, here's the thing. For the person that texts that in, it's Chris with a K. You use the C. Did they spell it with a C? Yeah, it's Chris with a K. Oh, that's great. Did we say Cina?

We're getting a lot of Cina text. No. I guess I thought it. Maybe I just didn't say. He would probably apply. Boy, am I burned out on that peckerhead? and I have been for a long, long time. Yep.

Oh, my God. I'm looking forward to Peacemaker coming back. Yeah, I still can't get enough to see him. Yeah, thank you for the text. Great suggestions coming in. What else is going on today? Nobody knows. Oh, sorry, I'll read through some more text.

It seemed rhetorical. We've got more Boos Cruz tickets to give away at some point. That's great. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, that's absolutely. And we'll do it again on the podcast if you don't happen to hear it this morning. That's very, very important. Our next booze cruise coming up June 27th out there on the St. Croix,

our Independence Day booze cruise. Not only tickets to be given away on air, but to our podcast people. Corey Haim and Corey Feldman have been thrown into the conversation. That's a good one. Of a couple of famous folks who were everywhere all the time. I mean, they were in movies together, but that's kind of where it ended. You see what I'm saying? Yeah.

I mean, we're not trying to take. Well, the conversation is kind of taking over everything. Yeah. We're not trying to be nitpicky here. We're not trying to take anything away from Corey Haymer. I loved the Corey. It's the last thing we want to do in this program, right? Program is disrespect the Corey's.

I did love the Corey. I did too. Corey Haim is dead. Did you really like, you really did like the Corries? Or you're just joking about it? Oh, no, I did. I loved their movies. When I was a kid, I thought they were great.

Licensed to drive. Yeah, even that. I bet if I watched it now, I would wonder if my parents raised me wrong, but I sure did love that when I was a kid. It's so cheesy and so wonderful. The Lost Boys. Loved it. That movie, that freaked me out.

Did you get freaked out by the Lost Boys? Even though the vampires looked like a glam rock band? Scared me. I could barely watch 24, and I loved the show 24. Jack Bauer scared the hell out of me because he was a vampire back. Speaking of being nitpicky, Kiefer Sutherland, the lead vampire out of the glam rock vampires in the Lost Boys. He couldn't have made some effort with his hair before they started shooting that movie? I guess I'm trying to think.

He couldn't have made just a small effort. His hair was beautiful in the Young Guns documentaries, and then he signs up to do Lost Boys where he's going to be portraying a glam rock vampire, and he does nothing with his hair. Very disappointing. Well, he kind of had like a, like a Billy Idol thing he was trying to do it, it appeared. And he had a, he had an earring. Oh, how scandalous that was in 1987. Did he have a pierced ear?

If I remember right. And he's a man? He's a man. That says bad boy controversy up and down. Heck yeah, it does. Sometimes when I blow my nose, I get a boner. I don't know why. It just happens.

Passed Morning Show. How's everyone doing with their swearing? Ooh. I don't do it too much. Just checking in with. my pals here. How's everyone doing with their swearing? Josh doesn't? No. Of course,

uh, obviously, we can't cut loose with all of our favorite curses here live on the radio. They'd run us out of town. But in our, in our personal lives, does your has your cursing remained on a pretty consistent pace? Has it picked up at all lately? Has it declined?

It's about the same. Mine took a nose dive since about 1987. I, for whatever reason, We swore all the time in seventh grade, like every other word. And I just remember policing myself going, why are we doing this? We sound ridiculous. And I didn't like how I was talking. So I just pretty much slowed it way down as much as possible.

Too much cursing you find to be overkill, ridiculous. Ashley, you said you're on about the same pace. Yeah. Hasn't really changed too much. Dana? Yeah, I'd say I don't even really notice anymore when I do it. I think I've just kind of been on an even keel of or even pace. the whole way since I kind of started swearing.

A consistent clip. I think I'd see it. How were your parents with swearing? Did they do it often? Did they allow? I mean, I know the answer for you, Nick, but did they allow you to swear at home? And you know, not, I mean,

it's not like I don't think they got mad at me or anything, but I just didn't really do it in front of them until I became an adult. And then it just kind of naturally the way I would talk to my friends, it just kind of became the way I talked to my parents, too. Oh, I never swore in front of my parents. They would not have liked that. Yeah, me neither.

My dad had a different set of rules. My dad swore constantly and 99% out of anger. He had a different set of rules, but we certainly couldn't. Even as an adult, I don't think I ever swore in front of my dad. I think it wasn't that long ago, I think you said you've never ever cursed in front of your mother. You've never heard her curse. No, only maybe once or twice behind the wheel as a kid. She kind of can be an angry driver.

I think you also recently said, well, and you just made the statement. I think there was no cursing in front of the old man. I still feel weird when I curse in front of my parents, especially if I lay it on too thick, like how I would talk and, I don't know, just hanging out at the bar with my friends. Yeah, I'm like, oh, I need to dial that back. My mom doesn't need to hear me say the F word that many times. I think I'm one of the best in town, I do. But I got started young.

I was bred to cuss and swear from a very young. age. Here's the reason why I bring it up. According to some recent arithmetic, 39% of Americans can't get through an average day without swearing at least once. Well, I've never tried. I'd like to try. I would. I think I could do it quite easily because of what we do here for a living. It's very, very easy. I agree. For people that, like my youngest, he'll let one slip every once in a while, and I'll call him out on it. And he acts like it's the most difficult thing in the world to do. I thought it was.

I agree. I thought it was as well. And we get that question now and again from people. Is it difficult to not swear on the air? No, it's quite easy. I thought it would be difficult. I remember before my first day on the radio, I thought, balls.

Can I do this? Can I have a conversation without cursing? because it's so natural to me. And within, Josh, tell me what your experience was like. Within 30 seconds, it never really entered my mind again. Not at all. I thought I would be constantly battling against it. I thought I would be worrying about it.

So, okay, 39% of Americans can't get through an average day without swearing at least once. It's because they haven't focused. They haven't tried. It's actually quite easy if you try. Well, and everyone can do it. They just don't realize it. Like I'll tell my son, in front of teachers, you never have a problem. I mean, there's certain situations you just know you're not supposed to do it.

So you can maybe broaden that spectrum. 25% of folks swear every day. That would be us. Right? That would be us. Yeah, definitely. You got to even comey dumps at least one a day. 12%.

Now, 12% of people claim they never swear. even when you stub your toe, come on, you've let one out. They say they never do, 12%. You're supposed to when you're injured. It takes away pain. We've heard those studies before. My wife is, she swears. She's the one in the family that swears constantly.

And it's weird because until we got married, I never even heard her say, damn. I used to comment on it. Now, she blames me, but I'm not the one that's where. She definitely throws them out all the time. It's just life. Life is taking its toll on her. Yeah. She's tired of marriage.

I think that's a big part of it. Raising kids. It sucks. So this report also took a look at the settings and scenarios where people think swearing is acceptable or not. And which words we find the most offensive. Now it's getting good, isn't it? This is where it picks up.

The pace picks up. The top five times, according to folks who were surveyed here, the top five times, it's okay to swear, are when you're alone. Makes sense. It's no fun when you're alone, because when I curse, I look to entertain.

I look to combine curse words in a way you've never heard before. Now, I don't want anyone to repeat this, but the other day I walked into the studio and I called the three of you by a terrible name, and I bet you that was the first time you ever heard that, haven't you? Oh, I've heard that. You have? Oh, yeah, yeah.

The combination that I dumped on you, you was yesterday? It's the one that ends with Lord? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely, Lord. I think I just said. Thanks for ruining my week. Oh, I didn't mean to ruin it.

I thought I had really come up with something special. No, no. Definitely heard that one before. All right. The top five, it's, I'm having trouble with this, top five times. I'll work on this. The top five times it's okay to swear are when you're alone.

Josh just made a reference. When you hurt yourself, when you're hanging out with your bros, your friends, at a ball game. See, I get side-eyed nowadays when I curse at a ball game. But this is what they came up with. Those who were surveyed said it's okay to curse at a ball game. Oh, Jesus.

I guess it really depends, like, what sporting event? you're at. I get a lot of weird looks if I cuss too much at a baseball game. Well, if it's a children's dance competition or something, yes. I think I... I think you're saying is there's a big difference between like a casual baseball game and an NFL

game where everybody's drunk and rowdy and yelling. Oh, yeah. Like when I go to like a gopher game or a Vikings game, cuss words flying. I'll scream them. I don't care. But at a baseball game, yeah. A baseball game? It's a lot more quiet. The twins or something. Yeah, I quiet down. quite a bit because I'm surrounded by families usually.

I see. It's a little more of a different situation. I was wondering why the sport of baseball would make such a grand difference. Yes, it is generally generally a little quieter. Yeah, there's frigging kids there and a lot of and the last spot where most folks feel it's okay to curse.

Oh, uh, social media. I actually try not to do that too much on social media. Yeah, that seems like one of the worst places to do it. Yeah, and honestly, this is going to sound so dumb, but one of the reasons why I don't like to cuss too much on Twitter or X or whatever is because Randy Shaver follows me.

And for some reason, like, that always goes through my head. Like, he's like a dad figure to me. Like, I don't want to just tee off on social media because I think he's going to see that and be ashamed. Don't disappoint Uncle Randy? Yeah. You need to spend a little more time with Uncle Randy off air. That dude, you're showing him way too much respect.

Way too much respect. It's so like my dad and my mom follow me. That doesn't bother me. But, yeah, Randy Schaeber. He's no father figure. All right. Now, the times, it is not okay to swear. Take a guess some of the scenarios that were mentioned.

a scene, a scenario, a setting where it's not okay to swear. I bet you can go ahead and nail this. Church? Yeah, they didn't put that on the list, but that should be number one. I have it right here. Oh, yeah, it's not in the one I have. At church. Okay.

Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, so that includes like weddings and funerals. They mention nothing about weddings and funerals. Oh, I see what you mean. For some people, at least. Yes, some people get married and die. Or what's the word I'm looking for? Yeah.

people are memorialized at a church. Yes. What other spots? Go ahead. Well, I would say in front of strangers, if you meet somebody, you might not, you're not necessarily there yet. Certainly kids, people are going to look down on you and that. Not cursing in front of a stranger.

That's a good idea. I like that approach, Josh. That doesn't make the top five. And depending on the setting. If you're in a bar or something like that, that might be different. But if you meet somebody's mother-in-law. I think that that's a great idea. It does not make the top five,

but you said in front of children? Yes. In front of your boss? Yep. In front of your damn boss. The others are kind of boring, and you probably won't guess them, in front of a client at work or swearing,

oh, at an employee in a store, like cursing out the Home Depot kid because you have to wear a COVID mask or whatever. At is totally different. Swearing at someone or in front of someone. Those are two completely different things. They are. They are.

I'll go along with a lot of this, sure. Now, this in-depth report on cursing, swearing, cussing. They took a close look at 40 different swear words to see which was the most offensive. I don't think you could pile 40. together. Oh yeah, you could

if you sat down with a pen and a piece of paper. You could come up with 40 curse words. Oh, yeah. I know I could. Don't limit yourself. I bet you I can do it before the end of the break. Some of them are combinations. Oh, yeah. Like common combinations. So, now be very careful here.

Be smart here. But see if you can guess the most offensive curse words. People probably say it's the C word, but I love that word. That's number one. At least here. Love using that word. Oh, it just, it stops people in their

tracks. It does. It hurts and I'm like, it makes you the center of attention immediately. That one kind of punches you in the stomach. The sea word, Ashley, she likes it. That is reserved for the worst kind of people. You're right. 81%

of us are offended by that. So that tops the list. My son just asked me yesterday if skank was a swear word. He heard somebody say skank and he wasn't sure where that fell on the list. Oh, and the world is throwing the word skank around still? I saw it on TikTok or something like that.

I guess not skis. What about skis? Anyway, what else you got? You want to guess any of the other? Well, obviously the F word. Yes. Yes, 65% of us think that's too offensive to say out loud. Oh, I'm guessing.

I'm guessing bitches on there because. That surprised me. You're right. Because I'm thinking that comes from men calling women that. Because I'll call my girlfriend's bitch. Everything is a bitch nowadays. But it's different if my husband called me. Well, of course it is.

You know what I mean? I think maybe that's where it comes from because I'd be like, oh, you better count your days. Yeah, there's a difference there. But I'm surprised that Bizach made this list of the top five most offensive swear words because everything is a bitch. I can, it's totally normal now and it wasn't 35 years ago, 40 years ago,

if I wanted Josh to pass me a pen, I'd say, hey, dude, you got an extra pen over there? Pass me that bitch. It's so common. Everything is a bitch, so I didn't think we were so offended by it anymore. I thought we moved on too. All right. You got the C word, you got the F word, you got bitch.

What about the P word? Some people really don't like that P word. Yeah. You can throw panties in as the P word. That's one of those words that some people just cringe. Panties? I don't like the word panties. Really?

All right, you're right. The P word. One more. Is it a combo? It's a combo. Yeah, Mother Effer. Oh, M.F. I love that word.

That was another fun one too. You like that one? When you really just hit a good MF or it just feels right. It's so true. It makes you feel alive sometimes. It makes you feel alive. the little things. The least offensive swear word?

Gosh. That's not even swear word. Oh, yeah, I guess I don't understand why. I don't, what am I trying to say? I don't know why that was even put that way, and I should have edited myself. The least offensive, yeah, I don't know. Why do they say that?

Why do they even call it a swear word? Because it's not. Yeah, the least offensive ones aren't swear words. Yeah, so they shouldn't be least offensive. Right. just go ahead with it anyway, just for fun. They say here the least offensive swear word is gosh. Oh, oh, oh, maybe this is why they still call it a swear word,

because, shockingly, 5% of people even find that offensive. Wow. You must be just the straightest lace Bible-banging some bitch on earth. If gosh, heck, or darn bother you, but there are a small percentage of people out there who don't even want to hear that out. That is so strange. It is. But there's all types of different kinds of folks out there. I got in trouble once

for saying crap. Who was mad at you for saying crap? A teacher. I didn't realize that was a bad word. And I said crap and I got in some trouble. Yeah, that's crazy. I had to stay in for recess. What? You couldn't go out and show kids.

What a great athlete you were at recess? Couldn't play King of the Hill. Couldn't do anything. Josh, I imagine you had the same experience when you were a kid, but if I ever said, oh my God, my parents would tear me apart. I do not use his name in vain. Oh, yeah, I couldn't do anything like that, that's for sure. Like, I didn't grow up.

I never went to church. We never, like, we weren't a very Catholic or religious family. So it's like, what does it matter to you? Do you remember the word we got talked to about saying once? I do not. This is many, this is, shoot, very early on in the show, Friggin. We said Friggin, and our old operations manager was, enraged.

Really? I don't remember that. You thought it was too close to the F word. Really? Like Friggin. Well, we didn't do anything about it. We didn't change our. No, that never changed.

No, I don't recall that. That one was kind of silly, especially from that guy who had a mouth on him. I don't remember. Who is this guy? Can you write? I said, is our old operations manager. Well, yeah, but I don't know what operations manager means. No.

I don't know who our current operations. We don't have one right now. Oh, okay. Maybe that's why. I don't know any. I mean, I know these people by name, some of them, but I don't know their exact titles, nor what the titles mean, our old operations manager. I don't know who he is or was. That reminds me of getting yelled at for saying the word freaking.

Freaking. Instead of the F word. Yeah. I always said it was too close. Oh, oh, that guy. Yeah. He was just mad because we were whooping his morning show's ass at the time, probably. I remember that guy. Yeah, he liked to try to neuter us every time we'd whoop his morning show's ass. hilarious. I remember being a kid on the bus. I was probably in like fourth grade at the time. And I never swore at that point. It was kind of like how I physically have issues saying certain potty words. Like they just say my mouth doesn't like when they come out. It just doesn't feel right. When you were a kid, you felt this because just a minute ago you said you loved the C word and mother F. Yeah, yep. So when I was a kid, I felt this way.

You felt filthy when you would say the filthy word. Yeah, they just went and come out. And eventually I just remember being pressured over and over and over again by the older kids. Like, come on, just say this word. Just say that. And eventually I cracked. And I think that's when it started and it never stopped. I was corrupted by the kids on the bus.

You broke the seal and it was on from that point on. And still today, you're a pretty prolific and a pretty. skilled swearer. Thank you. I take pride in that. Ashley, the bus changes people. It does. It does. Big time. The bus changes people. Once the kids get

on the bus, they learn things and things change. Man, we raised hell on the bus. Wait until your kid starts taking the bus. Yeah, maybe we'll skip the bus. We were mean on the bus, man. That sweet little innocent kid of yours is going to change.

We had a mean streak when we sat down on that bus. Oh, yeah. What is that? Why? God, we'll teach that kid all the good swear words before he gets anywhere near a bus. Yeah, I don't think he'll need to be taught.

He's definitely going to be an early cusser. Are there any regular words that make you nervous saying when they're not bad words at all? No. At least none that I can think of. So a standard word that still makes you kind of nervous? Like maybe you'll edit it out of a story or something.

Good question. I can't think of anything off the... Titular. titular. Yeah, like a character. Oh, I can't imagine. Tittalating. Tittalating, no, I've got no problem with that. Titular, I can't imagine ever coming up with that on my own. You know, I can't imagine ever using that naturally. Like if it's in a story or something like that, I'll always take it out.

Well, one, it kind of sounds pretentious. That's the main reason. Yeah. So it makes me, and I'm worried that I'll mispronounce it. You know, I told you before I had a plumber friend over. And he said ballcock, and it was ridiculous how I barely keep my composure. You're only human. I was embarrassed. You're just a man.

Come on, man. Another man says ballcock. I'm supposed to keep a straight face. Yeah, come on. And when you were younger, did you ever call a shuttlecock a birdie? He had to say shuttlecock. You could get away with that. Yeah, it was too much fun.

I never knew that it was called that. Shuttlecock? Yeah, honestly, probably until I started working here. Or else I would have had a lot of fun with that. Anoka Hockey Dad Jesus texted in to say I still remember the exact day in third grade when I learned the word queef

while riding on the school bus Josh is right I never thought of it that way but the bus the school bus changes a kid it was the most lawless spot in town when I was a kid

what do you think changes people the most like it's got to be war, prison and the school bus let's go along with it yeah maybe in that order Let's go along with that. Hell yeah. In that order.

Hey man, what's wrong with you? Do you go to war or something? No, I rode the school bus. Yeah, you know, as I've mentioned before, growing up, my dad had no rules for us. My mom did try, including my mom would try to crack down on our cursing. And it was a tough roller coaster. for a young kid because I'd go hang out with my dad and his buddies and it was all rules thrown into the garbage hanging out with my mom it was a different story so I kind of lived the double life

if there were a couple of things that I remember my mother being very upset with me over was when I would call someone fat or ugly and this is when I'm a little kid she didn't like that I might cut loose with some swear words and she wouldn't say anything. But if I said, oh, she's fat or he's ugly, she would say, oh, hey, we don't call people fat. And now, speaking of this, speaking of the school bus, one of the toughest days I ever had on the school bus was I got into an argument with a gal on my school bus. This is like third grade or something, right? And eventually I said, shut up, you're fat to this gal. And she was a bigger gal. She got up on of her, what do you call it on the school bus

that you sit on? A bench? Sure. She got up out of her seat. She was so mad at me for calling her fat. She got up out of her seat, walked over, and of course I showed no fear because I couldn't. As a boy, I couldn't show any fear of a girl approaching me obviously angry, right? If I would have

went, ha, ha, ha! My buddies would have ran me out of town. So I did not brace myself or anything as she approached me. She picked up her leg and stomped on my thigh as hard as she could. And I think at that point in my life, that was the most pain I had ever felt, but I gutted it. I kept a straight face and I bit my lower lip like it didn't hurt. And F me running, did it hurt? And everyone was kind of looking at me. Is he going to cry? Is he going to shout out in pain? I didn't move a muscle. And I kind of laughed it off.

Girl trying to hurt me, right? And you limp home? Totally played it off like it wasn't no thing but a chicken wing on a string from Burger King. Got off the bus and, oh, God, it hurt. And it all started because I called her fat. I should have kept my friggin' mouth shut. The 93X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps?

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