93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Boob-Weiser

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

Originally Aired August 31, 2026: DoorFlash. You kiss your mother with that mouth... in front of your classmates?! Everything you've ever wanted to know about stealing over 1,000 cases of beer.  Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, podcast friends. It's Dana here. I know you're excited for the show, so let's just get right down to brass tax. I'm a smart club member of standard heating and air conditioning. I think you should join me. I don't mean to be that guy, but as Minnesones, we know what season's coming up. Getting your furnace tune up before the cold weather hits is just smart. Right now, you can save $70 on a furnace tune-up or double dip and save $140 if you add the AC tune-up as well. Scheduled by September 30th and use a code 93x to save. Standard heating and air conditioning, providing the comfort you deserves is 1930. online at standardheeding.com.

Enjoy the show. The 93x half-assed morning show. 90-3. Looky here. Look at this friggin' mess. We're just coming too here on the Monday edition of the 93x half-ass morning show. Our hope is that everybody had a lights-out weekend. Normally we hear on the 93X half-ass morning show,

we try to avoid each other at all costs over the weekend. It's for the greater. good. But this past Saturday, we all met up at the state fairgrounds. We did. Now, the first thing I want to get to on that subject, Josh, I don't know if you have this information in front of you. Is there not? Normally, you're the most organized guy that I know. So first off, on the subject of the state fair, I wanted to ask you, has it been confirmed that this past Saturday was the single largest single day? How do I say that? Was it confirmed this past Saturday? that it was the largest crowd in state fair history.

It felt that way, didn't it on Saturday? My goodness. I don't have a doubt in my mind. The first two days set records. Saturday. Thursday and Friday. Saturday had to have been a record. I haven't seen anything official yet.

I'm going to go ahead and guess when they released those numbers. It's going to go down as the biggest single-day attendance mark in state fair history. I don't have a doubt in my mind. Because that was, it was too much. It was absolutely. too much. I've never, ever in my life, left the fair because of the crowd, just because I could not. After we were done with our thing on Saturday, my wife and I did our best to walk around a little bit. We gave up after, I don't know, an hour.

We ran into a couple people we haven't seen in years. They're out of, they're from, well, they're from here. They're in Oregon for a while. They came back into town and for the fair, as a matter of fact. So we spent some time with them and it was kind of the same thing. thing. After a while, and I was just so beat from earlier in the day, I thought, we got to get out of here. So we left shortly before seven, and it was, like you said, we just couldn't move around anymore. Some of the lines were crazy. Like, if you wanted one of those Amish donuts, you're still in line from Saturday.

Tell me about the Amish donuts. Is this a new thing? I'd never heard of it until this year. Yeah, okay. So supposedly it's... I had some last year. Okay, I was going to know. Supposedly it's been around for a couple of years. It sounds familiar, but that was, you know, every year there was a certain food. that you seem to catch wind.

Everyone's talking about it. And you're about the eighth or ninth person. I've heard mention this Amish donut. So it was around last year. Or I guess I didn't get to go to the fair last year. So I guess the year before that. Oh, well, there you go. So I looked it up and it said,

198,8,842 people attended the state fair on Saturday. It is very high, but it did not meet the all-time record of 222,000, set in 2018. Yeah, a few people are saying it didn't set a Saturday record, or at least a first Saturday record. I know they split them up. I can't imagine much more people being able to squeeze it in that place. No.

I wonder in 2018, is that because people were finally getting back outside again? Outside of COVID. No, 2018 was before COVID. It was before COVID? I can't remember when things were. Like 2020. What year is it now? When it's shut down?

Right now it's 2026. Okay. It's also Monday. I knew that. You can't remember when things were. I'm surprised by that because I just never remember feeling so overwhelmed than what I felt Saturday. And there were lines for certain food stands that normally they can't give the stuff away. Yeah.

I don't want to rip on any stands. I know that's good business. I know you're not doing that, so I won't throw out a name. But there's one of particular, Nick and I were talking off the air. I don't get it. I mean, it's something you can get anywhere. And I'm a guy that also gets stuff you can get anywhere at the fair, so not even ripping that.

But never seen a line. And that line had to have been a half hour at least. I have never seen a line at one particular stand that Josh is referencing. He doesn't want to mention any names. I'm going to go ahead and do it. No, of course I won't. I have never seen a line for this particular food stand, ever. Usually there's two people behind the window,

and they have just the loneliest look on their faces. Will somebody please buy the garbage that we're selling here? Or just come talk to me. I'm lonely. Anything. And Josh is right. There was a line as far as we could see. Something weird was going on there. I left.

My wife said this to me. She goes, I've never seen somebody leave the fair hungry because the lines were so long. I didn't get anything to eat. I was ordering DoorDash on the bus back to the parking ride to the house. You know, because I needed some food. I read this too. Somebody just texts in and said a staff member at the crop art line said it was a two and a half hour long delay. And it was kind of like that on Thursday and Friday as well. The crop art, everybody wants to go see.

I don't get that. I mean, it's cool, but aren't you just going to, I don't really get it. I like the crop art. Would you wait two hours? Oh, I wouldn't wait two hours for anything. Yeah, there's nothing I'd wait. No, no, no. That's there for two hours.

There's some cool stuff, but two hours. Maybe I've never seen it. Oh, you'd love it. It's great. One of my favorite gimmicks is the crop art, but two hours. No. So you're telling me, from what you just looked at and barked out into the microphone, Saturday was still 20,000 people short of the all-time record for a single day?

Yes. That Fs me right in the face, that information. There was a day when 20,000 more people were at the fair than Saturday. Well, there was technically more people there on Friday than Saturday, which that blows my mind too. Right in my face, John. Well, actually, maybe Thursday said, yeah, Thursday was close to an all-time record, was it not? I know Thursday and Friday were records. For a Thursday, yeah, they broke the record.

It was like a little over $150,000, $150,000. $150,000 people. Here's a guy who texted in and, you know, he is naming names of certain stands and food booths at the fair. He's mentioning a couple. So he was there Saturday also. And he's mentioning a couple of food booths that he said, I've never seen anybody stand there in line for their wares. And he said it was down the block.

Oh, this reminds me. I was going to ask you, Nick. Was the spam booth back under the bridge by the Coliseum last year? It was there. It was there. Oh, okay, because this year was the first time. I was like, wait, it's back. It's right there.

It missed a year or two. It's been back for a year or two. Oh, that was such a beautiful, beautiful thing to see. I thought of you right away, of course. Oh, I love the spam people. All right. Whatever. I can't believe that Saturday's crowd didn't set some kind of mark.

What is someone saying? The all-time single-day record is 270,000 people? So 80,000 more than what we saw on Saturday? I have a hard time with that. Did you guys buy anything dumb at the fair? Didn't buy anything at all? No. I ended up getting like, I don't know, some weird like herb dispenser. That sounds dumb.

Yeah, that sounds really dumb. When he was like, you know, what is, what am I looking for? He was presenting it, like showing you how to do it. And I thought, oh, well, he got me. I was interested. And then it hit that point where like I was talking to him about it for so long that I would have felt bad if I didn't buy it. You're one of those, huh?

And then I ended up buying it, and I didn't really think about the price. And it was like 50 bucks. 50 bucks for a what, what did you call it a spice dispenser? An herb dispenser? Yeah, so you put like dry herbs, like dry dill or whatever in the top. How many herbs do you go through at the house? I go through a decent amount. I do like to use fresh herbs, but I'm also fine just using a knife to chop them up.

I don't know, maybe this will change my life. That's what happens when you go to the fair high. Were you high? No. She was pretty high. There was rumors you were high. Oh, really? Yeah.

Were you a little high? No. She was a little high. No. So back to why we were there. Thanks to everybody who dropped by to see us at the 93X booth there at the fairgrounds. We appreciate the effort that you made. Appreciate the kind words.

Most importantly, thanks for your money. If you missed it and you care, we'll be back out at the same spot this Friday. We're going to roll out that way. after we get off the air. Our plan is to be posted up. Cubby, is this fair to say? Our plan is to be posted up at the 93X merchandise booth by around 10 a.m. this Friday? Yeah, I think, I mean, depending on track, it was super easy to get there on Saturday.

I mean, we were told, hey, it's going to take an hour to do the five-minute drive from the station, and it was a five-minute drive from the station. That was bizarre. That was step one of what became kind of a weird day out there. That was weird. That we were told, well, you better get here early. to the rate because a guy here at the radio station gave us a ride to the fair and he said you better get here early it'll probably take us an hour and it was five minutes oh so you guys were

there oh we were there an hour early yeah I obviously did not ride with these guys but I didn't have any issue getting into the fair beforehand and I was at like I don't know eight nine so you could tell like as I'm watching the maps to get to the fair and get to the right parking lot my maps would go down to like 24 minutes and then all of a sudden I'd look again and it would pop up and say 32 minutes. They're like, stop it. Stop doing that. No, stop going to the fair.

We will be there Friday. We'll be there by 10. And if we're not, we'll, you know, 10, 15 somewhere along there. Yeah, easy enough to get there at 10 if there's not a ton of traffic. We've had trouble in the past, but. We appreciate it. We'll be there one more time. If you's wanting to stop by, we'd love to see you.

And you better get your Hogbauer Automotive T-shirt when you have the chance because we understand those pigs are selling. fast and furious. Yeah, they have to keep ordering more. They ordered more. Yeah, that's cool. Thank you for purchasing those. They're dancing in the streets at the corner of Third Avenue and Main Street

because Hogbauer automotive is raking in the bucks with the T-shirts this year. That's good drinking money right there. My husband wore that shirt out. We had a little date night on Friday night and two people commented on it. They were like, hey, Hogbower. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. The most interesting part of my fair experience Saturday was the bus ride home. My wife and I did the park and ride gimmick, which is wonderful, wonderful.

I know that there have been some long lines so far this year at the fair, some long waits to get on and off the bus. We had a little bit of a weight. Yeah, there was a hell of a line, hell of a line. It moved quickly. It moved quick enough for me. But the most interesting part was once I sat my ass down on that bus. I had pretty good seats for the type of show, Cubby.

that I hadn't witnessed in decades. On the bus, I was seated about in the fourth row. I got to watch a young guy and his young girlfriend. I got to watch the girlfriend who was annihilated, drunk, absolutely destroyed, couldn't even hold herself up anymore. I had the pleasure of watching her violently vomit. into a trash can while the boyfriend held her up the entire bus ride on his feet half hour probably from the fair to our final destination he's holding her she's just a wet rag

and he's holding her his legs must have been cooked when the bus ride was over not that she was a big lady but just while she sprayed vomit into a trash can he's holding her with one arm and holding her hair back. You know how that gimmick goes, right? Trying to keep her hairdo out of the vomit for a half an hour. Every time she threw up was everybody else on the bus like, ah, every time. I was going to ask the reaction. I'm glad you asked because it was a surprising reaction when it was very obvious because, I mean,

they basically walked onto the bus and that was where they stayed. You know, the bus was packed. They really probably couldn't get any further back. if they wanted to. They were just standing at the very front of the bus. And I was surprised by the reaction. I could tell right away, oh, she's going to spray any second now. You know, you could just tell.

And when it kicked in, he puts the garbage canned underneath her face and I was expecting everyone to say, oh, come on. That's what I would expect. Pull over. Get her out of here. The crowd was very helpful. It was very Minnesota nice. There were people, Josh, even behind me, who were passing up.

to the front of the bus where the drunk guy and, well, he didn't seem that bad, where the drunk girl was. They were passing up spare napkins that they had in their purses. Oh, that is very nice. People were being very helpful. Now, I did feel really sympathetic. You guys know how it is on those buses. As soon as you walk on the sunbitch,

the first row of seats are reserved for disabled people, right? There's like a large gap there, so you can put in a couple of wheelchairs. There was one old man who was seated in the disabled. disabled section. So he was ringside for this the entire half hour ride. Oh, no. I mean, there was the bus just smelling terrible

by the end of it? I didn't smell anything. That's good. We were bracing ourselves for the worst. Me and I think so. We were bracing ourselves for the worst. I mean, it was ugly. It was, again, I hadn't seen anything like that since I think 10th grade. My daughter has almost a

phobia of vomiting. You know, it affects plenty of people, but With her, it's really bad to the point where when she was looking for apartments to live here on campus, she would read reviews because sometimes people would say, hey, this is a great place. If you don't mind throw up in the stairway every weekend from college school. So she'd look that up to make sure it wasn't a thing. She went to a wedding over the weekend. She got barfed all over by somebody who had too much to drink of all the people to get thrown up on.

Threw up on her. All over her. Not just her. Did she kill them? How does that happen? these days that someone just vomits all over you? I didn't get all the details. I don't know if they were in a car riding around somewhere. Probably. Just at the wedding itself. I guess I didn't ask.

I can understand if you're in the squeezed in the back of a cab, but if you're at a wedding hall or something, I mean, my God, of all the places to vomit, you had to vomit on me? You know, we're in a giant ballroom or whatever? That's bad luck. So how did she react to it? You said she has a phobia? Oh, she, I mean, it's bad. She just kind of was, you know, frustrated. Oh, she doesn't just curl up into a ball and tremble? I wasn't there when it had. happened. But yeah, she just, she didn't explain all that. But yeah, I mean, she's bad. Like, I mean, I've seen her cry. I mean, I've never seen somebody affected by it so much. My sister's the same way to the point where if there's a popular comedy movie or something that's come out,

she asks me in advance, is there any puking scenes because she can't watch a movie if somebody throws up in the movie. Same with her. That's no fun. Ooh, intermediate Jesus said he got thrown up on the last day of kindergarten. six-year-old me did not have a good time that day. Yeah, it was, you know, it's different. I'm glad they had a nice response to that because it could have went bad. We talked about this not too long ago. You didn't want to be the kid that threw up in class or on the boss or something

because you got made fun of, but it's not the same anymore. When we were kids, when we were young, yeah, that's how you get your ass kicked. My son a few years ago threw up on the bus and I thought, well, he's done now. We got to move. We're going to have to change school districts. This is it. He's got no chance. At any friends, he's going to get crap the rest of his life.

Nobody said anything to him. Also, speaking of your son, wouldn't he need to be grown to be like 6'4? He is so tall. I told you guys, and he's a dick about it. My God. He's calling me little man, half pint. I know. He showed to the Pharaohs.

Like, there's no way that's his son. Where did that come from? Well, we've got a real dad. Could be. We've got a lot of tall people. My dad was the show. shortest in his family. He's one at eight, outside of my aunt, I guess. He's got

all brothers except for my aunt. And he was six feet. He was like the runt of the litter. And my mom, she's the one that kind of messed up our height. She's 4.11. But in her family, they're all tall as well. So my mom was short. She was hidden in there somewhere. Yeah. Yeah, like I said, he loves

it, and he's a bad. A major A-hole about it. Well, it's time to straighten that punk out. Yeah, our buddy Leon did. I wouldn't mess with Leon. What happened? Leon was telling him, hey, you better chill.

My son wasn't saying anything. You know, he was joking around. But I told Leon, because he said the same thing, he's like, my God, how do he get so tall? And I explained to him, I said, yeah, you know, it's not cool because he's a jerk to me. And you could probably dunk on Leon. I suppose I am a little taller in Leon. Yeah. I remember him stopping by on Saturday.

That was nice to see him. I met his daughter. She was awesome. She went and saw Weird Al. Very sweet. She saw Weird Al on Friday. You know, it would have been the prior night. They saw the Weird Al show.

Absolutely loved it. Tommy James and the Shandells tonight, Cubby. Yeah. At the Grandstand. And who else? They come from the 60s. Hermann's Hermits. Oh, they're playing tonight, too?

They're going to be a part of it as well. Oh. Every year at the fair they have that old 50s, 60s kind of review. Tonight, Tommy James and the, is it Shondels or Shandals? I can never remember. I always said Shandals. Airball tomorrow night for free, by the way. Before we get to Hairball, is Peter Noon still a part of Herman's Hermits?

Yep. I saw him perform 8, 10, 12 years ago at the fair, and it was a friggin riot. Good stuff. It was a riot. He puts on such a fun show. Tommy James back there like, my baby does the hanky-panky. Am I correct? Well, maybe I'm asking the wrong crowd.

Hanky-panky, monie? Money. Was that Tommy James and the Shondell's? Is that, they like things that rhymed. Hanky-panky. I thought. Mony-Money. Who was Mony-Money?

Crimson and Clover. Somebody helped me out. What? What were you asking? I was trying to, yeah, who was Money-Money. I think it was Tommy James and the Shandals, but I don't, you know. Yes, Hairball will be performing live, live. Hairball will be performing for free tomorrow night because Rod Stewart couldn't make it.

Yeah. Is that the deal? Yep. Well, that's great. That'd be a cool place to see them. Is Slave Rader a part of that show? Yes. Okay.

Yep, they're going to be opening up. Makes sense because I think Chainsaw is still, well, I know he's still, he's back with Slave Rader because I saw them a few months ago. And I believe that Chainsaw still manages hairball. I'm not a hundred percent. There's a connection there. There has been for years. Free show at the Grandin. Yeah.

Oh, that's outstanding. I didn't know they would do a free. I thought there's maybe even two free shows at the Grandstand. That one for sure. We've gotten some texts in the last. few days saying, hey, don't forget about Hairball and Slave Rader doing this and that. I hadn't nailed all the information down.

That sounds awesome. Yeah, tomorrow night for that one. It was cool. Nick and I were talking about this Saturday. I like going early when you can hear the sound checks. Especially if it's a band you really like. Oh, sure. The drummer for the Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis show, sexy. Didn't see them, but just some of the beats he had.

I wish I could play just one of those beats. So good. I could have played those beats. I'm sure you could have. He was, yeah, that was cool. Being able to hear that. Here's a guy texted in. Billy Idol did Moni, moony.

Yes, he did, but he did that like in 1989. That's an old-ass song from the 60s. Yeah, that was a cover, right? Yes, of course, that was a cover. That's funny. All right. Sons of bitches. Yeah, like you started with, thanks again for everyone who came out there

and what was a very busy day. And it got kind of uncomfortable as far as, like, the heat and humidity. And it was cool that you made time to come over. and see us. We really appreciate it. We had a lot of fun. That was cool. Nice experience it was, and we can do it again this Friday. We can friggin' did. Did I forget anything? What else happened? Anything big? I think that, I'm trying to think if there's anything else kind of goofy that happened at the fair. Oh, God.

There had to affect something. Well, we ran into an old friend. Oh, yeah. You guys finally got to meet a guy we've been talking about for years. I felt like I was meeting a celebrity. Please don't say that more than one. out loud because it'll go to his head. It'll go to his head and all hell will cut loose. We've been telling stories on this program for years about an old cast member of our program. Talking about Big Lair.

Yeah. We like to tell Big Lair stories. There's a lot. Just the way Big Lair talk back then, now. Spot on, yeah. It's how Big Lair come off. And sure as hell, Saturday as we're hanging around the booth,

big ugly bastard rounds the corner and I said, oh, Christ, it's Big Lair. I was so pumped. I haven't seen him in decades. Do you remember the summer? We did a bit. The summer we were going to try and kill Lair. Yeah.

We had a wheel and we'd spin this wheel, this wheel of death, basically. And there'd be some sort of challenge on there. One day he had to eat 36 jalapinos or something. And then the next day we had a professional boxer. That was my favorite. That's what I was going to bring up, Matt Vanda. and I'm sure a lot of people know the predator.

Word. We had Vanda, punch him in the jaw. I'd never, I learned a lot about boxing that day because, I mean, Larry, how tall do you think he is? He's a tall guy. And Vanda, where do you think he's at, 5'10? He's not a, Vanda's not a tall guy. Yeah, so from, I don't know, I'm going to say like a foot and a half away. The idea was, so we had Laird put on one of those boxing helmets, whatever he'd call them, right?

Yeah. The pads. And so he puts that on. Van is about a foot and a half away and we told Matt, okay, we gave Larry a list of yo mama jokes. If one pisses you off, punch him.

And he got through the first. Matt, I mean, you could barely see Matt's fist moving. And again, it was only from like a foot and a half away and he knocked Larry out. I couldn't believe it. The power Matt had in just that little distance and how fast it was. I mean, he just

knows where to hit you, right? but that was one of the courses I've ever seen. Obviously, that would never work out nowadays, but what a good sport. Seeing Big Lair again was a blast from the past. Some of you who have been listening for many, many, many years. I'm sure you remember the name and some of the shenanigans. So that was pretty special. I was telling Nick and Ashley off the air, there was a time, me and Laird worked a Menard's gig,

like 11 to 1 on a... Sunday morning. And this, like, I'll call her a dime. Just a bombshell walked up. I shouldn't say walked up. She was in the store, and he points her out. He's like, yeah, Big Lair, you know, made love to her. But he said it more crass the night before.

And I was like, whatever, dude, shut up. Big Lair F that girl last night, man. That's pretty much how it went. That's a big layer did. I was like, there's no way. And she came over, and my God, he did. I mean, that guy was a stud. Oh, I shouldn't say that too many times.

Take it easy. Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't say it too many times. But, I mean, I missed those days. I couldn't believe it that he was there. That was really cool. That was something. I ran into him three, four years ago.

Seems like more recent than that, but it probably was three or four years ago. And now I'm kind of remembering more listeners we met. And there were some cool folks that came out. Saturday? Yeah, absolutely. So I probably ran into Larry three or four years ago. And, you know, there's that delivery again. He's like, hey, Nick, what are, dog?

I'm like, you got to be kidding me. It's Big Lair. So we're going back and forth, talking back and forth, asking each other about our lives. And he says, how Josh? Yeah, how Josh doing? And I said, Josh is good. He got kids. And I said, yeah, Josh got a couple of stepkids and he's got a son now that's, you know, at the time he's, whatever.

10, 11 years old. Larry pauses for a second and goes, yeah, Josh, Pum. Oh, by the way, people have been texting in, you know, who is responsible for the song Mony, Mone. My guess was Tommy James and the Chondells who are performing tonight at the State Fair Grandstand. I remember them to be the original group to put together the song Mony Mony. People have been texting in, Josh, saying that I'm wrong. it's your mom, Josh, who does the moaning. Son of us.

Things were going so well. I got quite a few of those out of the fair, too. Ride the pony. You got a few mom jokes. They were going after your mother. Where's the predator Matt Vanda when you need them? Dude. Oh, one more memory from the fair.

How about that kid that came up and read the Minnesota twin statement? I mean, I shouldn't say read, I'm sorry, recited the Minnesota twin statement about how they suck and everything that you. Right. What do we call that in the business? I better read this. Disclaimer? Yes. Before you talked about the twins,

especially if it was going to be anything positive. I had a prepared disclaimer, right, that I would read. A few weeks ago we got into this bit, maybe a couple months ago, or I'd read this certain disclaimer whenever we talked about the Minnesota Twins. So folks listening knew that although we are going to be positive in our conversation about the Minnesota Twins, we are certainly aware of the negative.

Because if you said something positive, people will come after you on text. A young kid, I don't know, 10, 11 years old, was able to recite that disclaimer, word for word. It was awesome. That was something to see. Yeah, his mom sent him over to me. He's like, hey, you got to say it to him.

And he said this to me. I was like, I couldn't get him over to you fast enough. Like, you got to hear this. Very nice people, nice people. All right, there you go. We'll throw her into gear for real skis here. We hope you had a great weekend. And we appreciate you.

us. When we return, we'll dive into this stupid news report back in a few minutes here on the half-assed morning show. The 93-X half-assed morning show. Hey, podcast friends, it's Dana here. I'm a smart club member of standard heating and air condition. I think you should join me. I don't mean to be that guy,

but as Minnesones, we know what season's coming up. Getting your furnace tune-up before the cold weather hits is just smart. Right now, you can save $70 on a furnace tune-up or double-dip and save $140 if you add the AC tune-up as well. Scheduled by September 30, and use a code 93X to save. Standard heating and air conditioning,

providing the comfort you deserves is 1930. Online at standardheating.com. Randy Shaver here, if you're dealing with a work-related injury and need someone to fight for you, then Dave Bialki's your guy. This is his specialty with over 30 years of experience in helping the working person get compensated for work-related injuries. Even if your injury was years ago.

Don't wait. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Beow alkylaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-L-L-K-E-L-L-L-D-L-A-L-L-D-C. You want Dave on your side. Stupid News on the half-assed morning show. Yeah, Cubby. Here we go with the Stupid News Report, Part 1 for this year, full-on, four-alarm, five-day work week. They say there ain't nothing, nothing. Quite like a mother's love.

Mm. As a matter of fact, quite a few of our listeners say that there ain't nothing quite like loving your mother, Jack. Here's another saying you might be familiar with. You're feeling so safe. It's as if you were in your mother's arms. Those cute little slogans don't apply to everyone, of course. There are always exceptions to every rule. Like this lady.

who comes from the garbage can that is the far southeastern United States. This lady has up and caught a case of child neglect. Yes, she has. That one always looks good on your permanent record. I don't care who you are, right? Child neglect. You have glanced past that one. Most bosses will blow past that on your job resume, right?

child neglect this friggin' lady uh yeah what did she do you gotta get ready for this one because this is a new one on me I'll give her credit it's a new one the lady picked up that child neglect charge

for allegedly breastfeeding her baby while hammered drunk uh yeah don't do that hammered out of her gourd is it possible you know trying to give somebody the benefit of the doubt. Sure. That she didn't realize what could happen. No. No? No, it's impossible. It is impossible. Yeah.

You don't think there's somebody out there dumb enough just not to know. Maybe I shouldn't say dumb, but uneducated enough not to know. Oh, no. I think that's just like it. I think there's always a chance, Josh. I mean, I did tell you, I knew a man 32 years old who didn't know the function of testicles. No clue. You had to show him. Yeah. I mean, all the way. I had to show everything they could do. He had no idea, actually. There is a saying that goes around on the internet for breastfeeding women when they're talking about whether or not they can drink alcohol while breastfeeding.

And some women say, well, if you can find your baby, you can feed your baby saying like, okay, well, if you're not drunk enough where you can't find your baby. But I think some people take that a little bit too seriously because there's been plenty of times where I'm very, very tuned up. And I could totally find my baby if I wanted to, but I should. should not be feeding them. Well, this gal did. That's absolutely terrible.

She won't... What would you mix with milk for a drink? Like, what's an eggnog? God, help us, Josh. I got a disgusting story for you. Like rum? Is that rum? Uh-huh.

So if you're a baby, just requests a little rum, and maybe it's not that weird. I saw a grown man many years ago, and he was no kid. He was probably in his 70s. He and his wife, who was also in her 70s, they were heavy, heavy all-day drinkers. The types that just shake like a leaf on a tree until they get their first one in the morning, right? And I crashed at their place one night. And so I'm laying on the couch, and I was awake, but I didn't want to show that I was awake because I wasn't ready to get up just yet. I was hung over to beat hell too.

But the old man comes into the kitchen, and I'm laying on the couch with one eye. open just watching him. The old man comes into the kitchen and he's got the shakes going, baby. Because he just hits it hard. And I watched him take a tall glass and fill it about half up with milk. And he filled the other half of that glass up with straight friggin' vodka. Oh, milk and vodka. I had never seen anything so horrible in my life.

He ripped it down like Rocky Balbollah with those raw eggs. I'm going to throw up. Oh, and I'll tell you what, he stopped trembling, and he was ready for the day. All right, so a white Russian. Yeah, white Russians involve milk or cream or something. Yeah, it's vodka, coffee, liqueur, and fresh milk or cream. Well, the kid can't have caffeine. Kids can't have caffeine?

No, so that's out. Oh. Is that true? You're going to have to just stick with the vodka and milk for now. I also knew. When I watched my kid, I used to give him Red Bull, my wife, when she was breastfeeding him. rub a little on his gums. Put it in the bottle.

Hey go, buddy. I knew a hardcore white Russian drinker, too. And one night his son tried to match him drink for drink. Don't ever, if you've got a real serious drinking dad like I did, you got to wait until they're a little older to try to match him drink for drink. I probably was only able to do that to my dad once he hit 70 years old. There's no way I could go beer for beer with my dad. So this friend of mine whose dad drank white Russians regularly, we were on a fishing trip up north.

And he said, you know what, Dad, I'm going to match you today. I'm going to hit her drink for drink. And he did. But the old man went to bed feeling like a million bucks. His son spent the entire night puking in a bush. Sofa king, cool, Jesus. Word. Said a white Russian and a little breast milk?

Money, son. Money. He's calling that straight cash. I like the term pump and dump. Ashley, maybe you're the first person ever heard say that. Yeah, I hate having a pump and dump. It sucks. And it's from drinking?

Yeah, like, it doesn't, it used to be, it's an old wife's tale that, like, you could, I don't know, drink some booze and then, like, pump and then dump and then feed your baby. But it doesn't work like that. I mean, you have to wait until, like, the alcohol in your system is just completely gone or wherever, like, a safe zone for you to do that. but I have to pump and dump just because if I don't pump, say I'm drinking for 12 hours, having a blast, I have to pump or else my boobs will explode. They will literally explode. Did you ever get a chance to feel what like an engorged breast feels like, Josh, with your wife? Has he? Well, there's some engorgement if I feel her breast, but it's usually not on her body.

Well, I have had my husband, like, check it out because he's like, I just want to see. Like, you talk about it being so painful. And he was, like, gross out. He's like, what in the world is that? Because it gets like... Hard as a rock. But, like, lumpy. Gets very lumpy as a rock.

Let's get back to this lady now. We're going to start calling you lumpy, she's it. Do it. This lady caught a charge of child neglect for breastfeeding her baby while drunk off her ass. And like I said, I'll give her credit. That's a new one on me. You got your drunk drivers. You got your drunk and disorderly, sure.

Those are very familiar. Breastfeeding while drunk. She wins the prize for that. That is as disgusting as it is unique. I'm surprised the baby even wanted to. A witness who upped and called the police on the lady. The witness said that the lady had fallen down once or twice. She's just a walking down the road is what was happening.

The lady had fallen down once or twice while holding her baby. And mom was also fallen in and out cold here and there, too. She was in and out of, how do you call it, consciousness? Tamisha. The gal is up to 32 years old now, and she goes by the name of Tamisha. When the local police first spotted, Mom wiser over there. She was carrying around that two-month-old baby, while her other kid, a two-year-old... Two months.

While her other kid, a two-year-old toddler walked alongside her. The toddler was walking better than mom. In a much straighter line than mom was. Mom wiser. And the cops confirmed that Tamisha was hammered drunk. She had it all. Slurred speech, glassy eyes. She smelled like a bait bucket.

and the cops said that Tamisha was so damn wobbledy, they thought for sure she was going to fumble that baby. She told the police that she was to stay in down the road at a hotel. So they took her there. Went inside the room. Inside her room they saw empty bottles of hooch everywhere's. Oh, and the cops also said that both kids were wearing diapers that were completely sold out. Ugh.

Poor kids. What a terrible, terrible human being. The cops took Tamisha to the hospital and then to the spin dry where she spit a point two nine and then they hauled Tamisha over to the county jailhouse. The two-month-old baby also went to the hospital. Doctors wanted to see if it had gotten secondhand drunk

or maybe even a little buzzed from drinking for free at Nipples Tavern all day long. That's so daint. Imagine like how many other times. time she has done this too. I'm sure this isn't the first. That kid's going to have so many problems. They said the kid was doing all right. What a disaster. Come on, lady. What's wrong with you? Maybe now she'll realize she hit rock bottom. Let's hope. Right? Can we hope? You never know. Everybody's got their own different version of rock bottom. I would think that one should be

I told you about my buddy who woke up in bed with his dad nude. I think about that every time. And he did not consider that rock bottom. Man. He's seen worse. He did not consider. So there you go. Do you ever wonder if your moms were drunk?

I don't even know if you were breastfed or not. None of my business. I don't know the answer to that. I'm sure my mom was. Oh, I wait, no, I wasn't able to be breastfed. Never mind. It was too premature. I know I've asked these questions before, but now I can't remember.

You've asked your mom? Yeah. If she was drinking, you're wondering if my mother or any of our mothers drank while they were pregnant with us? I can't remember the drinking. I know my mom admitted to having a few heaters. Oh, my mom definitely did. Yeah, but my mom wasn't a big drinker back in those days. She evolved into a world-class title-holding drinker.

So I don't know. And I guess my sister knows everything about our background. I'll ask my sister. Your famous sister? My famous sister? What do you mean? You make her famous on the radio all the time with lusting over her. I can't help it.

Oh, you're talking about what happened? Great to see her on Saturday. You're talking about what happened over the weekend? She had her TV day. Well, I don't know. Was it her debut or she'd done TV before? Because she looked like a pro. She looked like she's done it before.

I don't know if it was her debut or not. Yeah, at the fair Saturday, there was someone, there was a reporter hanging around the parking ride situation there at the fair, interviewing people about the long lines for the parking ride gimmick. And they interviewed my sister. And so she was on the Channel 5 News at 10 o'clock on Saturday night talking about the problems with the bus. You thought she did a pretty good job? Oh, yeah. She's a natural. Absolute stunter.

It wasn't fair what they did to her either because they're. like, one lady was so crazy, she parked in a ditch. And then they cut to your sister, and I asked you, I'm like, she parked in a ditch? Like, no, it wasn't her. They're talking about somebody else. Some other lady. Although she's not the greatest driver. I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up in a ditch.

Oh, is that right? Not so good. Yeah, she's, what a pro. There she was on television. It's been a long time since my first day of high school, 39 years to be exact, which I cannot effing believe. But it's a true story. My kid starts today. Today's the day.

Lucky bastard. 39 years since my first day of high school, and I have pretty solid memories of those days. And I can tell you this, for sure. There was no such thing as any kind of freshman or sophomore initiation at my high school where the upperclassmen unleash some type of embarrassing or humiliating whooping on the underclassmen, like in the movie dazed and confused, where they beat the freshman into oblivion with that wooden paddle. We had nothing like that. What about you folks?

Nope, nothing. It got... We had like a cute little thing, I guess, around Homecoming. They would... The seniors would kidnap the freshmen. Okay. Yeah, the year before... Get a super high and drunk and then drop us off at school.

Year before I got to high school, there was a big hazing scandal. I guess scandal in quotes. It wasn't that big of a deal. But they snuffed it out entirely and said if any upperclassmen do anything to the younger kids, the freshman, you're suspended, whatever. Total flatliner. Do you guys remember how big seniors looked when you were a freshman? It was just like they were different species.

Like they were adults. And then vice versa. When you're a senior, you're looking at the freshman going, these are little kids. Babies. They had mustaches and whatnot. They already had their pensions. They looked so much older. I loved me.

I loved that we had that little, I guess, hazing, lack of a better word, at our school. That was a lot of fun. Because, like, if the seniors were hazing you, that meant that you were cool. enough. They knew who you are. Now that I think about it, we did always do a powder puff football game or was playing football and that was held off campus and yeah, the upper class

would just beat the ever-living crap out of the younger girls. It's kind of fun to watch. That was how, off campus? We had it on campus. Who was beating up girls? Oh, the senior girls. Oh, thank God. It was the senior girl. Yeah, no guys were beating up women. I thought maybe that the

here's where we're going next by God. We're talking about day one. initiations at a school. It says here, school initiation rituals can be embarrassing, crude, and even disturbing. But at a joint called Bishop Kelly High School in Tulsa, Oklahoma, they came up with something cutesy to take the place of terrible violent beatings and whatnot. On day one, here's how they do it by damn. On day one, every freshman has to show up to school with a mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, legal guardian, whatever they have at the ready.

And the embarrassed freshman must give mom or dad or whoever a kiss before they walk into the schoolhouse. I don't know if it's the same. I'd be mortified. It's not the same now. At the age, at that age, I wanted to pretend I didn't have parents. Like I lived alone. Right. Manage you. Yeah, there's some older people that live with me. They're my roommates.

If you ever had to be dropped off anywhere, you'd make sure mom did it six blocks away from your final destination. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you could walk up and look cool and be like, yeah, I don't even know where I came from. I don't have a jacket. I know it's 30 degrees out, but I'm too cool for a jacket. No, you're right. It is different. I mean, like my older kids, I would try and embarrass them, and they just wouldn't get embarrassed. Yeah, it's not the same. So, again, every freshman has to show up to school with mom or dad or whatever. whoever is the head of the household, and they must kiss that older person before the seniors make sure every last freshman gets it done before the opening bell rings.

It says here the entire senior class swamps the parking lot on day one, hollering and screaming up and down, new guys in the corner puking his guts out. The senior class demands that the fresh meat rookie virgin dickhead freshman go ahead and lay a sweet little kiss on their parents' faces while. everybody's looking. I love it. I absolutely love that. Well, that's because you're a mom. Yeah. I mean, think about it the other way.

How long it spends on those kids have probably showed any affection. Get over here. It's better that everyone's doing it, but that still would be pretty embarrassing. It'd be cooler if you could pick out the mom you wanted to kiss. Oh. I know whose mom I would. What have I done? What?

Yeah. I set myself up for a little bit of trouble. It's all right. They hit you on everything. It happens no matter. You're right. I might as well just set myself Whether it's set up or not

Couldn't even say the word pump and dump earlier Oh people text in about the pump and dump? Oh yeah And they made it dirty Yeah yeah yeah yeah Pumped Josh's mom and then they dumped her Yeah yeah yeah I mean don't worry about that stuff Josh It's on its way regardless

All right that's kind of funny And you were talking about kissing someone else's mother Yeah if you could pick a mom I know what mom I would have picked Yeah I've got is it the one Maybe I shouldn't say But yeah I could think of one So the seniors at this school say, hey, we had to do it too.

So suck it up, Cherry. Up until the year of 2000 aught 1, Bishop High School, the school we've been talking about, up until the year of 2001, Bishop High seniors used to dish out your typical savage beatings on freshman initiation day. But then came the incident. So it was then that the 2001 class decided it was time to come up with a kindler, gentler initiation gimmick. And they did. Maybe some of those parents don't want to kiss from their kid, though. Maybe it's the first day of school.

Maybe they're embarrassed. My kid's the nerd. I don't want to be seen with him. No, I mean, like, they probably just, not every morning's a good morning when you have to wake your kid up for school, especially the first one. Like, what if you got in a fight before you left the house? You're irritated with them. And then these seniors are like, kiss them, kiss them. Get away from me.

Go to school. My mother wouldn't have wanted a kiss from me in that situation. No, she would have said, get out of the car. It's bigger when it's warm out, Jesus said. We didn't have senior girls hazing in Hastings. They were too busy drunk breastfeeding their children. Shotgun Messiah Jesus wants to know, are we talking about a kiss on the lips?

The story didn't really indicate specifics. I think we're talking about a kiss on the cheek. There were some on the lips. I watched the video. Well, I guess what he's asking is, do the rules demand a kiss on the lips? It doesn't sound that way to me. It sounds like they'll take a kiss on the cheek, lips. I think if it was mandatory to kiss your mother or father on the lips,

I think that would have been noted in the story. So I'm going to say it was optional. What happened? I wonder if we read the same thing. Muscle Dilf, Jesus? No, I read up Making Maps Jesus. Yeah, so? I wasn't sure if Josh wanted to read that one.

I don't know if I can read that one. Can you read it, Nick? I don't know if I can see that on there. What are we talking about? I don't know what we're talking about. Making Maps Jesus? That's why I'm laughing. Making Maps Jesus. Okay, here's the text.

Yeah, I don't even understand it, really, to be totally honest with you. All right, try Muscled Dilf Jesus. Muscled Dilf Jesus. It's the last part. Oh. I don't understand this one. either. Oh, you don't? What? What? Go ahead. Someone else, I don't understand it. Women usually have two sets of lips. Oh, no, no, I don't see that. Text. Oh, because you guys are on your own. A new one came in.

I don't know what you're talking about. So, yeah, Ashley just said it. He wants to know if there's a specification between which ones. Wait a minute, wait a minute. We really are doing the which set of lips joke in 20 and 26? That's what happened. Come on. That's stupid. It's retro. And by the way, gross. Yeah. That's your mother. I thought we had moved past the Which set of lips are we talking about like 40 years ago.

I guess I was wrong. All right. They got them, Cubby. Yeah. I mean, if everybody's doing it, it's a tradition. It makes it a little better, but it still would be pretty embarrassing. Well, no, I was moving on to the next story. Oh, got you.

Yeah. The bastards went ahead and got it done. Out there in California, back a few days ago, a tractor trailer, carrying over 50,000 cans of Papp's Blue Ribbon Beer, it got snatched. 1,602 cases of beer. It got stolen. God, help us. Not out the back of the truck? Like they...

That would be exhausting. transferred it from the back of the The whole truck. Gone. Hmm. 1,602 cases of Papp's Blue Ribbon Beer. I unloaded trucks for a very brief amount of time because I couldn't handle it at UPS.

Exhausting. I was shocked how difficult that was. I was in the shape of my life. I thought, oh man, I'm going to be pretty good at this. I was terrible. It was too much. Too much for you. It's so humbling.

It was terrible. That is a tough gig. Paps has taken to social media. what not to talk about this terrible turn of events and they want help from the general public to find the pricks who pulled this caper the folks at pap said to the thief and again we're talking about an entire tractor trailer that was stolen full of beer to the thief they said we don't fault you for wanting to brag to your friends about how much pbr you have we just wish you would have obtained it the honorable way.

I like when they've got a good sense of humor about this kind of thing. They went on to say, Papps is officially starting the clock now. You have exactly 18 days to return our truck. No questions asked. Wow. But just so you gibronies are aware, they said, we are also offering a reward to anyone who can help us solve this mystery.

They didn't get into detail on what kind of reward. board their offering for why they set that specific 18-day timeline. But I like their style at Pabst. I can read between the lines. They're more or less saying, hey, cutie pies, you can save your own ass if you come clean. If you don't, we got a gang of thirsty beer-bellied cement heads looking for you. You effed around and now you're going to find out. That's the message I'm getting when reading between the lines.

The stolen tractor trailer was plumb full. of canned Papp's Blue Ribbon Beer, which is delicious. Yeah, they also had 200 cases of old Milwaukee non-alcoholic beer. Someone will find that NA beer in a ditch somewhere soon enough. They didn't keep that. They're not hanging on to the NA beer. No details on how the rig was exactly stolen. It just says here, a subcontractor was scheduled to deliver the beer,

but the truck never reached its destination. You got to know what you're doing. Yeah. I mean, that might help narrow the suspect pool. You throw me behind the wheel of that pig. I mean, I believe I could probably get it going down the road, but not without somebody noticing as I struggle like hell for the first 10 minutes to get the thing going. Yeah.

I think I could get it done, but someone's going to hear me grinding gears and effing the works up. Yeah, you're drawing attention to yourself immediately. The folks at Papps made one more cute comment on the way out, they said. Oh, we hope that whoever managed to steal our truck also knows the importance of keeping beer cold. And then you... I drove one once, not with a trailer, though. I can't even figure out how, especially there's like tight areas or tight turns. That is so impressive, the truckers, you know, what they do.

Mm-hmm. So you drove the tractor? Just the tractor. Where'd you go? Just around a parking lot. How long did it take you to get relatively smooth with the process? Well, I knew how to drive a stick. It was like a newer one.

I mean, shoot, this is probably 15 years ago, but at the time it was newer and it was, that part wasn't real difficult. But yeah, had there been a trailer on there, it would have been trouble. Oh, I can't even imagine. There would have been some damn that's done. You would have got that pig just hopping. That was fun. That's one of my favorite memories for sure.

Oh, my old man was as skilled as they get. over-the-road truck driver his entire life. And it was, you know, you could hook anything to the back of his pickup, and he could gently rest it into its final destination. Up north at his fishing shack, of course, he stored his boat in this broken-ass shed. And because it probably saved him $2, he stored it in this broken shed as opposed to this beautiful, you know, more common. area where everyone kept their boats with, you know, it was all paved, right?

No, he's got to put his boat in the woods and the mud in a broken shed. And Josh, I'm telling you, the route to that shed was two letter Zs stacked on top of each other. That is so impressive. And he would just with one finger on the wheel, just wee-de-weep, weeep, weeep-deeep, wee-de-deep, back this way, this way, that, cigarette, beer between his legs, beep-bib, two-letter Z patterns, and he could just place that pig. impressed every time, but that's what experience will get you. People are saying that most new ones are automatics now.

That's what I hear. Yeah, the ones we were in, they weren't automatics, but they were really nice. One more here real quick. This one, you'll have to see the photographs to follow where I'm going with this. In Boston. Folks in Boston say that a big old strip-down sit-go gas station sign in town they say now it looks like the middle finger. Is this up on our website?

Yes. Again, like I said, you'll have to see it to follow what I'm saying. It's just a framing of the sign. You know, it rises up is how you say it above the freeway. So when you're driving by, you can see, oh, there's a Sitco gas station in the distance. Just the framing of the sign. The actual Citgo logo has been peeled off for repairs or something. So anyway, yeah, it does.

sort of look like a fist with a raised middle finger. It does, definitely. Check it out. It's kind of cute. A lot of comments came in on this article. One said, yeah, it's a fitting tribute to how we operate here in Boston. So I just want to get a look at that. You're free to on 93X.com. Sports on the 93X half-assed morning show. Look how he uses that third leg, that right hand, to give himself a couple of more yards setting up a quarterback's dream down. Oh, yeah, Los Angeles Chargers game announcer. And one of the most badass some bitches to ever pull on a football uniform, Dan Fouts. I'm happy to learn that Dan Fouts is still calling football games.

He's one of my all-time heroes. It's preseason stuff, it sounds like. He's just doing the pre-season games. Oh. They think there's somebody better than Dan Fouch to hold that gig during the regular season? Well, half them. Maybe that was his call. Dan Fuffin Fouts was just a bad sum bitch.

He made an accidental penis reference on television the other night. He, a running back for the Chargers was, you know, churning his legs and was about to be tackled. He used his arm to keep himself upright. And Dan Fouts referred to that arm as his third leg. And people said, wait a minute, now, what? Look at how he uses that third leg. Man, Air Cori-L brings me back to grade school, Josh. The Air Correel offense that the San Diego Chargers had.

at the time with Dan Fouts and Kellyn Winslow and John Jefferson and God help us what the hell was the other guy's name Charlie Joyner and West Chandler and Chuck Muncie I'm sure when 730 comes around and Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder duck into this nightmare they're going to want to talk a little bit about the Vikings is the preseason schedule over they're done with the practice games thankfully yes and things have been looking great or uh I don't know I haven't watched any of the No one of the Vikings. They'll want to talk about the Vikings probably a little bit. Twins won yesterday.

Links lost to the Atlanta dream, but my speaking of dreams, my gal Angel Reese, she broke a WNBA record, Josh, with her 29th double double. That's just what she does. This basketball season.

I know you love her. Randy Schaver and Bradrider 730. Coming up next, Cubby's News. The 93X half-assed morning show. Hey, podcast, friends. It's Dana here. I'm a smart club member of standard heating and air conditioning. I think you should join me. I don't mean to be that guy, but as Minnesones, we know what season's coming up.

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Nice. People get mad, I guess. Drivers here are crazy. Yeah, that's insane and terrifying. I'm sure there's lots of crazy people who do crazy things, and I always tell my kids, like, you just don't know what people are going to do. The new school year means new school supplies, pencils, folders, protractors, maybe something special for show and tell.

And if you're a little more prepared than most, a 38 special. Great band. Bad idea on day one. A woman who just dropped off her children at a North Carolina elementary school last week pulled a gun on another woman because she believed that woman had tried to run her off the road. She did not try and run her off the road. Thursday morning, 37-year-old Jody Abrams was dropping off her kids at Mint Hill Elementary School in Mint Hill, North Carolina, just southeast of Charlotte. As Abrams drove through the parking lot, another woman supposedly tried to run her off the road, so Abrams left the school property and spotted her. the woman again. She grabbed her 38 special handgun from the glove compartment and gave the woman

a little adult show and tell as she passed her. The next lesson came moments later. Abrams, holding on loosely to her temper already, pulled a 38 special again during the road rage incident with the same mother, not too far from the school. Apparently Abrams had a loose hold on her temper as well. Before she got out of the car, she pointed the gun at her own head, saying she did so so the other woman would see her as a threat. To who? To herself. Seems like less of a threat to the other woman and more like a threat to Abrams,

who apparently expected that other woman to feel threatened by the possibility of Abrams shooting herself. Cops had heard enough. Hey, if you make me pull this trigger, you have to clean these brains up off my dashboard. You're in some trouble. You're going to remember this. You're not going to mess with this lady. I'm so crazy. I'm going to shoot me.

She was arrested. She was arrested, you say. Ah, that poor kid. That's mom making an impression on day one. I bet that's not the only trouble they have at that school this year. No. Oh, definitely not. No, and there's more schools that are dealing with some weird stuff this school year,

this very briefly getting going school year. She just started. Yeah, it's literally been like days. I've had a long time theory school parking and drop-off lines. are some of the most dangerous places on earth. We just covered a Thursday morning school drop off gone sideways, and now later that same Thursday, we've got a school pickup with a problem of its own, and my theory remains intact.

But don't you like going because of all the heat? There can be some. But, you know, I don't like going because everybody's very, very cranky, it seems. Everybody's in a bad mood. But there's a lot of heat. There can be. Yeah. The return to a new school year meant to return to day.

drinking for a 36-year-old mother who was charged with DUI and assault of a law enforcement officer last week after an incident at Lakeview Elementary School in Nashville. Officers were called to the campus about 3.30 p.m. for a report of an intoxicated woman who arrived to pick up her child at dismissal. The woman, Jacqueline Rea, was inside the front office while school administrators had her vehicle parked in the lot. Thank God they didn't do any breath tests on my folks when they came to pick us up. Would have been some trouble? School officials told police, Rhea was slumped over in the driver's seat, waiting in the car rider lane.

She's a rookie. She can't hang on. Police said she had glassy, watery eyes, slow and slurred speech, and a staggered, unsteady walk. Investigators also found a mostly empty bottle of vodka in her vehicle. Raya told officers she had two shots and was day drinking before refusing field sobriety tests. Then things took a turn for the weaner. Police said she kicked an officer in the groin while he escorted her to the patrol vehicle. That's just not necessary at all. According to the arrest warrant, she had a previous DUI conviction just three years ago.

Yeah, she did. Last Thursday was a busy day for people at school who really should have known better. This story out of Virginia doesn't involve a 38 special, but it does involve a special education teacher who showed up to school drinking something special on campus. Oh, my God. A school resource officer arrested a 40-year-old, Manassas Park High School teacher Thursday morning, after staff reported that she appeared to be intoxicated on school grounds. She's feeling a little funny.

And she got started early. The officer made contact with a teacher at 7.30 a.m. and determined she was well into happy hour, courtesy of some liquid curriculum. Fortunately, this one didn't involve any students, as police were quick to note, no students were involved or a place in danger during her morning buzz. 40-year-old Shannon Sanders was arrested in charge with being drunk in public,

then taken to jail until she sobered up. Man, they're off to a good start. Yeah, again, that was like the first couple days of school last week for some. She must hate her job. I'm guessing so. Or it gets very nervous, and when she gets very nervous, she does dumb stuff. But she's done with that job. Maybe she'll find one she likes.

Yeah, it's about time you moved on. to something else. A Houston dad got quite the eyeful when a Dordash driver delivered dinner to him and his daughter wearing Dana's preferred bedtime attire absolutely not. I didn't expect nobody to drop my food. I was naked, which is crazy. And then to handle somebody food, like, it's already a lot going on. And then for you to, you know, pull something like that is ridiculous. It's just sick. It is sick. You can see a blurred video on 93x.com. I want the real thing. I don't know how to help you on that one.

Kianti Matlock said he was inside his home playing video games with his daughter Monday when he got a phone notification, alerting him that the order had arrived. And when Matlock checked his ring camera, Matlock was on the case. He realized to his horror that the driver who dropped off the food was as naked as every Barbie doll somehow that gets around Dana. And this wasn't some quick dash to the door. The footage showed the driver placing the order on the front porch and then casually walking back to his car like it was a perfectly normal delivery. Ass cheeks bouncing around the whole works.

Just doing my job. Matt Locke, who uses the delivery service fairly regularly, said he couldn't believe what he was seeing was real. He discarded that order and reached out to DoorDash, who was equally appalled and refunded his money. A DoorDash spokesperson said in a statement, the incident was abhorrent, adding, this man's behavior was vulgar and completely unacceptable,

and as soon as we were made aware, our team permanently removed their access to our platform. And disturbingly, this isn't the first time a door dasher's been caught on camera doing something odd. Last December, a Florida delivery driver was caught shoving a stray chicken wing back into a takeout container after it popped onto the concrete, then licking the sauce off his fingers before walking away without a word to customers. A few weeks later, a dasher tried to pull a fast,

one by immediately marking a customer's order as delivered and submitting an AI-generated photo of the food on their front step. This nude one, that one leads the odd things that they've caught on camera from DoorDash Drivers. I still think I could eat my way through it. A nude delivery? Yeah. Wouldn't you also wonder kind of what he did before that, though?

I wouldn't try to think about that. I would. This guy was just an old-school pecker shower, huh? I guess. And he did look real calm. Like, hey, no biggie. No problem here. While Matt Locke was able to solve the DoorDash caper with video evidence,

what do you call a detective who accidentally solves the case? He accidentally solves... What do you call it? Go ahead. Shear luck homes. When steak and shake brought back its car hop service, that 50s trend where waiters deliver your order on a tray directly to your vehicle, the fast food chain announced that patrons could, quote,

enjoy your delicious meal from the comfort and safety of your own car. Well, funny story. A Florida steak and shake worker just got arrested for adding his own meat to the menu on Wednesday. Investigator said Artavian Crumaddy. Artavian Crumadie? That's legendary. A 25-year-old with an inspired rap sheet already was working as a car hop at Steak and Shake in Largo where he made the off-menu delivery.

He walked up to a woman's vehicle to bring her order, except his own order was already sticking out of his pants. The report said his genitals were exposed through his zipper and the Stake employee's Stake and Shook it. He was arrested for exposure of sexual organs and booked into the county jail. Gross. What's that last name again? Crumody. Crumody. Speaking of unwanted nudity and afford... Who's working tonight at Stake and Shake?

Artavian is. Artavian who? At an Artavian bumblefluss? No, not Artavian bumblefluss. Artavian crumody. Pay attention, will you? For Christ's sake. Speaking of unwanted nudity in Florida fast food drive-thrus.

This time a customer was arrested for exposing himself at a Chick-fil-A drive-thru. The victim told deputy she was handing the customer his food and saw his exposed genitals with a bluish-green circular object, which the Chick-fil-A employee believed to be a sex toy around his... In military phonetics, Delta, India, Charlie, Kilo. Yeah, he was wearing a ring skid. Yeah. He even decorated it for her.

Decorated it. What's wrong with you? Plenty of restaurant owners say it's tough to find good employees these days, especially the kind willing to add light vigilante work to their job description. A Florida couple enjoyed more than just $100 worth of food and drinks. They then enjoyed leaving properly, excuse me, leaving without properly paying for it. Pieces of garbage. to employees notice that

By the way, speaking of that, you were a server. Yep. I've heard that sometimes they take that out of the server's wages, or is that not true? Yeah, they do. It's like super illegal, I'm pretty sure, but yeah, it's happened to me. Is it really? Yeah, I'm not sure if there's no laws in place to prevent that. But yep, yep, I had to pay the bill.

Yep, I've had friends who've had that same situation, Ashley. It's hilarious. What's the thought behind? I don't understand that. Right, what's the, like, I had such bad, I gave them such bad service that they were like, you know what, I'm just not going to pay this whole thing. For sure. That's what the theory is?

Maybe. Like they didn't have that plan before they even entered the restaurant. God, I wish you still waited tables. I'd come in there and get top shelf Long Island. Lobster. I'd chase you down. You can't catch me. I got a...

I can't catch you. I got an electric scooter. I'm out of there. Oh, darn. I'm heading over. I'm heading over. Got a beer party tonight at the Bumble Floss House. I'm headed over that way.

Oh, their parties are crazy. Wouldn't you walk out on Ashley if she was still waiting tables with me? Josh, would you do it? What? Well, with you. I thought we were bros. I didn't hear the with you part. I started answering before that part.

You would pretend to and then you would come in the back and then you'd give me like a 200% tip. Have fun paying for that on your own. How much is left on your mortgage? I got it. Two employees noticed the dine and dash and decided this was not going to stand. So they followed the pair across town. The thieves boarded a bus and then two employees followed along. What?

Go back to work. When the couple exited at a gas station, the employees, confronted them. During that confrontation, one employee pulled a handgun from his waist and pointed it at him. The second employee put the man in a chokehold. Police were called and both restaurant employees were arrested.

As for the original suspects, the dined and dashers were cited and issued a summons. Only did it once. We only dined and dash once, and it was just a foolish thing. We were high school kids. Went to lunch in the middle of our school day. We went off to

our neighborhood Pizza Hut restaurant. I feel even worse about it today because by God, I wish there were still Pizza Hut sit-down restaurants. I know there's one in Shacopi. There's one in... I think Hastings. Something like, there's only a couple of them. Are they making a comeback?

I think so. In certain markets, yeah. I thought they were making a couple. Yeah, we'll see about that. But anyway, we had lunch at Pizza Hut. It had a wonderful time because Pizza Hut totally rules. It did then and it does now. And then we decided, hey, let's ditch out.

So we did. And it was fun. It was a little rush of adrenaline. We ran out of there. Managers hollering at us. We got in the car. We cruised back to high school. About halfway back to school, I said,

Jesus, balls, what have we done? That's the best restaurant we have in town and now we can't go back. I thought we just got a wild hair up our ass and decided to be, you know, bad boys one afternoon. And I regretted the hell out of it because we couldn't go back. No more Pizza Hut for you. There were other places to eat, no question. But that was pizza hut was the best. I saw some great instant karma for some dying and dashers in high school.

The kids from the rival high school, Apple Valley, were at Perkins, and we were there. It was about midnight. They had clearly been drinking. They decided to dine and dash, so they go sprinting out of the restaurant. Well, there was a cop in the parking lot. So not only they got cotton had to pay the bill, they all got minor consumption tickets as well. Oh, geez. That didn't work out.

Once in a while, you've got to take your medicine. A new survey says 62% of America. Americans dine alone quite frequently. As far as I see it. A few times. Dana actually prefers it because he knows buying himself dinner will get him sex. An indie drama starring David Arquette, best known for his role as Deputy Dewey in the Scream franchise, is being filmed here in the Rochester area.

The actor and professional wrestling fans filming an indie drama called Reckless. It follows a reckless teenager and a recovering addicted father played by Arquette as they try heal their fraught relationship while competing in rural Minnesota's male dominated demolition derby scene. Oh, wow. It's a family therapy movie with cars. Arquette's been spotted around

Rochester in recent days, including at Apache Mall and nerden out a comic book store. You want to see big stars, you've got to go to Brainer. He announced the role. Yeah, Tom Cruise's. I mean, David Arquette's something. Don't get me wrong, but you know, if you want to see Tom Cruise, of course, he's got a cabin up in Brainer.

Maybe we could get David Arquette on. He's a fun interview. One of the silliest characters I've ever, we've ever had the pleasure of interviewing. Yeah. He's just goofy. Seems like he's always in a good mood. Wonderfully goofy. He's an easy audience. I mean, he laughs at whatever you say. He does. And he's got a great laugh. You ever see that movie where he portrayed the cop in the 50s who broke up that big mob meeting? It's a legendary true story about a mob meeting in upstate New York. And he's the goofy cop who kind of stumbled upon it. I can't think of the name of it. No, I haven't seen that one. He's very good. Very good.

Much more than the Dewey character. You know what I mean? I totally agree. He deserves more credit. He does. He actually can act and, like we said, he's a very likable guy. Yeah, he seems like one of the good ones. He announced the role on social media earlier this month,

and he had a very specific way of describing the movie. This film is going to make your basket spongy, he said in a Facebook post. I don't know what that means. Explaining it's a demolition derby term for beating you up in all the right ways. Oh, yeah. So there you go. Never heard that one before. Me neither.

If your basket's feeling a little spongy, now you know why. Former Arizona Cardinals' wide receiver, current ESPN analyst, Total Minnesota Stud, Larry Fitzgerald Jr. 43 today. W.W.E. superstar Jeff Hardy, 49. Actor and comedian Chris Tucker, whose radio you should never touch is 55. I wish he did more stuff. I miss Chris Tucker. Mob Town is the name of the movie where David Arquette plays a cop.

who breaks up this real mob meeting. It's a legendary true story. I don't know if David's character, the cop, was true, but the story is true. Mobtown. Get a look at that pig, if you have a minute or two. Guitar Virtuoso and by all appearances, aspiring pirate, Reb Beach. Oh, Jesus. Who's played with everyone from Alice Cooper, Doc and White Snake and Winger, 63.

Ah, man. an aspiring pirate. If you know Reb Beach and what he likes to wear on stage, you're following that one. I don't get it. I don't get it. What are you doing? He had such a cool look in the air. He did.

Not that he doesn't look cool now. No, Josh, he does not look cool now. It's a different kind of cool. No, in the 80s he was gorgeous. And that is a hundred percent. He looks like a soaking wet pirate wherever he goes. Yeah, why does it? He always looks like he's glistening.

Soaking wet. Maybe just because all that talent has to ooze out of himself. One of the greatest guitar players of all time. Oh, like a wet rat. Scorpions founder, Rudolf Shanker, 78. Oh, my God. Send in some love to freshly squeeze Jesus' mom as she fights breast cancer. Freshly squeezed Jesus is a longtime member of the Brotherhood,

thinking of you and your family at this tough time. Also, sending our best to a Blaine football player. He was injured during a scrimmage Saturday. I was at the game, and I'm not 100% sure at the outcome, but it was bad enough that an ambulance had to be called. So it was a pretty serious situation. So hope he's doing okay and wishing him a full and speedy recovery into the entire Blaine football program. I know that was a tough time.

Shout out to 80s, made me 90s, raised me, Jesus, and all the teachers and students setting back this week. Another shout out to volleyball, Jesus from utility billing, Sheesis. And thanks again to all of you who are able to come by the 93X booth Saturday, giving us an opportunity to put faces to Jesus and Jesus names. and to Emma, who usually listens with Dad in the car, she was kind enough to write us a very sweet letter. It was an honor meeting you, and we look forward to seeing you on Saturday at the Creed concert. If your Friday plans include the fair,

we'll be at the 93X booth after the show, somewhere around 10 to at least noon, and we would very much like to meet you if you're able to get out there. That's 93X News. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder. half-ass morning show. Oh, sure. This one right here. Rage against the machine.

This one grabbed me. Yeah, I like this one too. Can you do this with the guitar, this part right here? I think I could figure that out. I bet you could. Scream at me. We're winning now! We got a little surprise for the boys this morning.

Welcome, Randy Schaver and Brad Rider. Are you both there? Yes. Good morning. Nice little surprise. We had so much fun last year this time. We decided we had to run it back again. Calling in on the telephone, a man who makes his living calling ball games on ESPN.

He's been showing all the amateurs how it's done for decades. And if that wasn't interesting enough, if that wasn't enough when he's not on the mic, he's ass-deep in steer manure. And his kids have become the rock stars of the Minnesota State Fair. steer competition. Hello again to the Clay Boy, Clay Matvick. Hey, good morning, boys. Morning. How are we? Morning. What's up, Clay. How are things at the state fair this year, Claire? Well, I don't know. I wasn't there. I missed most of it. I was there yesterday, and I'm sorry I missed you on the fairgrounds this year, but things went pretty well for Washington County again.

We had a great year and really proud of the kids. That's great. Yeah, I know. We were out there on Saturday. you had to work, but then you were here. The crowds were insane over the weekend. What I hear? Do you have a lot of patience for that? I flipped out on Saturday and left early. I couldn't believe the crowd. You know, I was down in Georgia with a heat index of 106 for some college football.

Oh, man. And I was thinking I was miserable and how bad it was. But then I heard about the state fair crowds. And, you know, the weather was okay. but still when you're that cramped, I got to imagine there were some uncomfortable folks. But, yeah, the state fair continues every year you're thinking, how can they top it? But they seem to do a new attendance record every year. Yeah, I thought for sure that Saturday would be an all-time record.

But I was wrong. It was just madness. So anyway, we loved the conversation we had last year with you this time during the State Fair about your kids getting involved. I mean, I called it the steer competition. Am I even using the right verbiage there, Clay? I'm not exactly sure what to call. Yeah, my son, Jack, does show a steer.

He's in four-age. And my girls are as well, and, you know, they're in various categories. I mean, you know, they can show hogs, they can show lambs, they can show rabbits. There's all kinds of stuff in four-age. My boy shows a black angus steer, and he had a grand champion year this year, so we're really proud of him. Our county just did really well. Wyatt Herman, you know,

the market guilt in the swine barn. He did really well. Charlie Freeman, his last year in 4-H, he had a short horn heifer, and he won, so he's really proud of that. And Washington County, like I said, did really well. And just enjoyed it. Our kids are getting a lot out of 4-H.

That's great, man. I mean, your daughters are involved in what exactly then? Well, the girls were showing calves this year, too. My daughter, Lucy, leased a calf from the Paul Kruger family, and she actually didn't get to show at the state fair because she's too young. She's 11. Next year, she'll be able to go to the state fair. But she went to a county fair, a couple of county fairs this year,

and did pretty well finish first at one. And my daughter also leased a heifer from the Kruger's, and, you know, she finished third this year, so I'm pretty proud of her, too. That's outstanding. But, yeah, you're right about being up to our knees and manure and cat's feed and all kinds of stuff around here. It's fun, though. I'm still learning all the time. My wife and I actually ducked into the Coliseum for just a brief half hour, whatever, Saturday

and watch some dairy cows being judged and whatnot. I think last year when we talked to you, we all kind of expressed, I don't know, I kind of wish I would have had a little more of that 4-H kind of thing in my life. Randy Shaver growing up in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Did the 4-H kids ever have to corner you and kick your ass for being such a pretty boy or anything like that? I got to be honest with you. I didn't know any 4-H kids. What?

Yeah. I mean, Cedar Rapids is not out in the country. That's the second largest city in Iowa. Well, but second largest city in Iowa, that's like saying, I've got the, you know, I don't know, here's the second biggest pimple on my ass. I mean, I don't know. Come on, Randy. Bottom line is I didn't know any of those folks.

Okay. Bradrider, you were a four-age kid, right? Well, see, I grew up on a farm in a very small town in western Minnesota, and I kind of went the other direction a little bit because I knew pretty early. I loved growing up on a farm, by the way. Loved every minute of it. But I knew from a very early age that I didn't want to do that as a living. I remember you saying that now, yeah.

So I kind of started to stray away a little bit from it. I was in FFA until Future Farmers of America. I was in FFA until about my junior year of high school, and then my dad stopped making me be in it. And that's when the drugs started? Yeah, no. My dad saw the writing on the wall and he didn't make me be in it anymore. That's cool. I find it all very interesting, Clay Matve.

Can you tell us just real quick about your son Jack's grand champion steer, like the size, the weight, how it's judged, things like that, for folks who are in the dark like the rest of us? Well, I'm still in the dark on some of this stuff. It's up to the judge. What they're looking for in particular, and each judge is different. You know, it's just like when you watch the Olympics, and you're watching the figure skating competition,

and everybody lands the jumps, and you're thinking, okay, you know, everything seems equal, but the Russian judge likes the music that was used. The French judge likes, you know, the costumes that were worn. You know, it's all, it's all a matter of taste. And, you know, some of these judges, you know, judge differently. With that said, Jack had a 1,400-pound black angus spear, and it was in the British Slick-Shorn division, say that fast. and it's where, you know, the hair on the animal is shorn down. It's clipped off, and you really get to see the carcass of the animal. You get to really see where the stakes are going to be on that beef.

And Jack did really well there. He finished actually fifth overall in all of the beef at the state fair in for what is on the frame as far as the carcass. And so, you know, I found that out. after the fact. So that's really why I think he won his division. He just really had a good animal this year. And yeah, so that's two years in a row that he's finished one or two. He finished second last year and got first this year. So, you know, I really don't know a whole lot about it. Now all of a sudden Jack thinks he's going to be some cattle barrens. He wants to go down to Houston and he wants to buy animals down there and bring him back to Minnesota and he wants to be a

breeder. He thinks he's going to have a big 10-gallon hat like J.R. Ewing. This guy's unbelievable. All of a sudden, he's all fired up. He wants to go to Texas A&M, perhaps, or over in the state. I mean, this guy's got all kinds of wild ambitions now because of this. Cana Copenhagen in his back pocket? Yeah, right. So we'll see where this carries him. Well, people are texting in Clay and saying that's a really big deal, a really big accomplishing. It really is. And saying that shouldn't be glazed over. That's awesome. No, and I hope I'm not doing that.

I mean, there's been in 4-H a lot longer than we have and haven't been in that Purple Ribbon auction, which is, you know, the top two in the state, ever. And so, you know, to get in there two years in a row, it's really phenomenal. And, you know, there's a lot of luck that goes with it. And, you know, we have gotten so much help from the people in our county. You know, if you've got kids out there that are considering this, 4H is so welcoming, and they will help you along the way.

Our county in particular, there are so many good people in that county, starting with Ann Church, who kind of runs the county on the 4-H level, and then the families in there, and Paul's families helped us so much along the way. So, you know, I'd suggest that you reach out to your extension and try to get into 4-H if you're thinking about it, because your kids will benefit. Well, it's people have been texting in, We got Clay Matvick on the line here.

We're going to ask him a little bit about his own life here in a minute, but right now we've been talking about his kids there at the State Fair. Here's a text that came in, and this is great. Very informative. Stripping Sparky Jesus said this. Just so everybody knows, 4H is not only farm-related. You can show pretty much anything and anything from baked goods to Lego sets to woodworking, small engines, all kinds of different stuff.

Stripping Sparky Jesus said, I never agree. up on a form, but I was in 4-H my entire life, and I loved every second. Oh, cool. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yep, that's absolutely right. And on a side note there, my daughter, Lucy, who is too young, like I said, to show at the State Fair this year, but she was competing in stuff at the County Fair, and she baked the cake. And she brought it to the 4-H building in Washington County there to be judged just ahead of the

start of the fair. And the judge was asking her some questions about, you know, her process. and you know what went into it and uh she goes so what ingredients did you use well i just poured it out of the box into the bowl and uh stop right there you get a red ribbon by the way that's that's not the best and so that was the end of that lucy lucy tried and you know probably for her age that was about the best she was going to do anyway so it was a learning experience but um no there's all kinds of stuff you can do and for it It's all very interesting.

All very interesting. And congratulations to your son. Again, like Josh said, people have been texted in saying, hey, that is quite an accomplishment. Congrats. Tell us about yourself now, Clay. What do you got on the schedule? You're about ready to really get your ass kicked, aren't you? Well, yeah, we just got through week zero of the college football season.

College football is back and couldn't be happier. This is a great time of year. of the college football at ESPN, that really drives our network. I mean, we really consider ourselves the frontrunner when it comes to college football production and what we have on our air and just happy to be a part of it. It's going to be my 21st season in some former fashion doing college football at ESPN. I did the FCS kickoff on ESPN on Saturday night. That's why I wasn't at the fair.

But, you know, that was a good way to get it started. we had an FCS showcase game. I was down in Macon, Georgia for Mercer in East Texas, A&M. Mercer is going to be a top 25 team probably all year. But, you know, the big story in the FCS is, you know, North Dakota State leaving, you know, the FCS to make that jump to the FBS. And this might be the year where the FCS is maybe more wide open as who's going to win the national championship than ever before, because North Dakota State has either won

or been in the national championship game all but one year in the last 15 years. Jesus. As if, and you thought that the North Dakota State fans couldn't get any more obnoxious? Oh, I know. You just wait. You just wait. Yeah, and the thing is, this year, it's their first year in the FBS, but they're... And they just won.

You know, it's all about timing. And I think they've made the jump at the right time, and they've made the jump to the right league at the right time, the Mountain West. You know, they could win the league year one. And then if you win the league, you're a dark horse for the college football playoff. And that would be an amazing story. Yeah, I'm kidding, of course. I'm happy for North Dakota State.

I remember, I don't know where I was. I mean, I wasn't in North Dakota. I'll tell you that much. I was staying in a hotel somewhere. I mean, one thing about the North Dakota State fans, the support that they have is off the charts. I'm staying in a hotel somewhere. I think I was in Wisconsin. And I had some time to kill before a wedding or some miserable event like that.

So I went into the bar in the hotel. just to get a quick beer, and every swing and D inside the bar, pack bar, were wearing their North Dakota State colors watching their ball game. So just to be a douchebag, when the game went to commercial and the sound got dummy down a little bit, I said, who's playing? I mean, those people are 1,000 percent. So are you going to be traveling a lot and calling games up and down 21st year? I can't believe the Clayboy has been in the biz for that long.

And that's just with the SPS. Where do you go this weekend? Well, I'm going to Georgia, and Georgia is going to be a favorite to win the SEC, so I'm doing their home opener. And they should handle their opponent quite easily. It's Tennessee State. But, you know, every team gets a couple of cupcakes

in the first few weeks of the season. Georgia is going to have theirs in the home opener. They've got their quarterback back in Gunner Stockton, and they've got a lot of players back that, you know, which is pretty unusual now in college football to return the balance of your roster because we have so much turnover now from year to year with the NIL and the transfer portal. But they're going to be good, and then week two, I go to LSU and that storm there that Lane Kiffin has. They're playing Louisiana Tech, too, and in-state opponents, so, you know, the state Louisiana will be fired up for that one.

love to go to Baton Rouge on Saturday nights. But Kiffin's kind of the college football villain. Everybody loves to hate him. But, you know, with Trinidad Chamblitz, he was great with him as his quarterback at Ole Miss. They like their quarterback at LSU. And Kiffin, every time he comes into a program, just ignite so much fun and so much excitement into the offense.

And I think they're going to do that at LSU, too. So I'm looking forward to that. And then I go to Texas week three. So three legitimate college football. You get some heavyweights the first three. Yeah, three legitimate college football title contenders the first few weeks, so I'm excited about that. Well, where's your cowboy hat spending all that time in the south there, Clay Matford?

Oh, I've got a few of them, buddy. I bet you do. You know, I look pretty good in a cowboy hat. Actually, now that I bring it up, I have seen you wear a cowboy hat, and I thought it was terrible. But anyway. Where's yours? If I put on a cowboy hat, somebody would kick me in.

the ass before someone said Jack Robinson. You're still loving it, Clay. Every time I catch you, you're still killing it out there, bud. Yeah, I do. I really enjoy the craft. I mean, the landscape of sports have changed, especially collegiately, and that's what I do. I do almost all college sports. A little bit other stuff here and there, but college sports is now professional sports.

And so it's changed. That dynamic has changed quite a bit. But, no, I really enjoy the craft of calling games. I still enjoy broadcasting. The travel wears me out from time to time. No, I'm still enjoying it. I'm making a living doing this for crying out loud. We're not digging bitches.

I mean, you know what I'm talking about. I do. It's a pretty good way to make a living. Hey, you know, let's give Clay an opportunity. Last week we were telling Wougar stories. You got any Wougar stories for us? Yes, I do. Yeah.

Doug Wug and I doing a pre-game show for the Gopher hockey team, This would have been circa 2002, perhaps, and we're outside doing this pregame show. Why they decided we needed to be outside, I have no idea. It was five above. But no, we're going to do it outside. And even with those hot Clegg lights and stuff like that, I mean, we were freezing. And the reason they wanted it, I think, is because they wanted the lift bridge in the background. Okay.

So we're coming on the air, and Luger is not a big guy. I mean, he's shaken, and he's trying to, he's just trying to stay warm, and he can't do it. He's just shaking, shuddering. And we come on the air, and I introduce us, and we talk about, you know, the gophers in Duluth and the start of this series. It's going to be exciting. I say, all right, Doug, what do you got to say about this series? And literally, like a faucet, his nose starts. running into his mouth.

Oh. Oh, no. As I teed him up. And, you know, I'm thinking, well, I need to be a professional about this. I need to kind of gloss over it and we kind of move on, but I couldn't. Yeah. So instead, I just lit him up and made fun of it. Wuger, your nose is dripping like a faucet.

Oh. What are we going to do about this? Well, he reached into his pocket. And, of course, like every middle-aged man from 25 years ago, he had a hanky in his pocket. And he wiped the schnage and we carried on. But, yeah, that's when you say Doug Woug, that's the first thing that comes to mind. The night that the Wuger ate his own mucus on live television. Yes.

God help us. Oh, my God. Clay, it's great catching up with you. Congrats to the family and everything. And good luck on your season. We hope to talk to you again soon. Yeah, hey, thanks for checking and I appreciate you guys. Well, absolutely.

Live from the Clay Boy Mansion, it's Clay Matvick, everybody. Thank you very much, pal. See you guys. See you later. Clay's story reminds me of one you've told Nick, the Wuger story with the nose going into the mouth. Oh, God. You had a terrible ending. That's how I caught Mono.

You got Mono that way. That's how I caught Mono in 11th grade. Me and this gal were at the big. Oh. Yeah, Randy Shaver, it happened. Oh, God. You guys have heard the story before. You know, the cabin party I went to in high school where they're,

gal got her skull run over by an Asuzu trooper? It was that same night. Before the gal got her skull run over by an Asuzu trooper with seven people in it and lived, I was wildly making out with this classmate gal of mine. It was a cold, rainy night. And suddenly I was, what the hell is? Oh, the noise. As we're kissing, what the hell is?

Oh, no. Her nose was running. Oh. into my mouth. A couple days later, the doctor told me I'd caught mono. But guess who was off the hook for the last two weeks of school, Cubby? That guy! This guy right here.

I heard it's miserable, though. You probably would have rather been in school from what I hear. It wasn't that bad. It wasn't? I didn't have a miserable case of that mono. I made it just fine. Hey, back to the state fair. I got a text message from Minnesota Moses.

He was a little squirly. He's a little iffy, this guy. So I don't know if he's telling the truth. but he says at the fair this year the DNR fish tank has a live fish cam Oh really? Anyone heard of that? I'll look that up. Yeah.

I didn't know that. Maybe that's been going on for years and I just wasn't aware. The DNR tank has a live fish cam. And he says, Minnesota Moses says it's his, he's treating it like his own personal aquarium. He can't take his eyes off of it. So we'll see if that's a true story. Oh, yeah.

It does? Yep. Well, then you can see Willie. Also, speaking of the state fair, our wonderful promotions, uh, head of household, Amy popped in here and she said that Hogbauer shirts will be restocked today. Oh, they're sold out? They've been out of a couple different sizes, largest specifically, so they will be restocked today. So if you're heading back out there, stop by the booth and we should have plenty for you.

Okay, that's good to know. We're selling T-shirts for Hogbauer automotive out there at the 93X booth, and they're selling quite well. Tiny, Donnie Hogbauer, everyone over there at 3rd Avenue and Main Street, they're pretty pumped about it. They're making some good beer money. Do you think they're going to reinvest this money into maybe fixing up the joint? Or they're just going to spend it on drugs and beer?

I don't know what they spend it on, but it's not going to be reinvested. I mean, this is a major sponsor of the program, Dane. I don't know if we should mention drug abuse. I'm surprised they sold out simply because, I mean, the retail price is supposed to be $25, but they always ask you how much you got. Right. So they always go for more. Right. Willie the walleye.

I mentioned you can see Willie on the DNR fish cam. That's my own walleye. I bought Willie years ago. So if you turned on that fish cam, Josh, I bet I could spot him. Willie the walleye. He's got a little scar. He's got a little scar just behind his right dorsal fin. That is my personal walleye.

Willie, he's been there for years at the DNR fish tank. All right, Brad Reader and Randy Shaver. Twins won yesterday, 5-1, although the Chicago White Sox took two or three out of the series. Hey, Zebby Matthews pitched a career high eight and one-third innings yesterday. It was awesome. Josh Bell, of course, was the guy picking up all the ribbies. They continue their run of American League's central opponents starting tonight with game one of a three-game series against the Detroit Tigers here in town. It keeps getting tougher because they keep losing games

and there's fewer games left in the season. That's how it works. You're exactly right. Yeah. They're not picking up as many wins as they would like with limited games remaining. Congratulations, though, to Zebby Matthews. That was a great start yesterday.

He ended up, ended the month of August 5 and 0. Yeah, he's been really good. F me running. He's been really good. Tonight, Tage Bradley starts for the twins against Tarek Scouble. for the Detroit Tigers after a brief stint with the Dodgers. Tarek Scouble is back with the, I'm kidding, of course.

Can Todd Bradley win a game? We'll see. He's stuck on nine. Win number 10. Byron Buxton on the 10-day injured list. I'll tell you what, though, watching Walker Jenkins get his first hit the other night, not getting his first run. I know he was 0 for 3 yesterday, but he looks like a ball player, doesn't he? Yes, he does. He looks like the future of twins baseball.

He's looking good. Pretty fun to watch him and Cole Pepper hitting back-to-back. Guy Keeshall who's playing the outfield, Brooks Lee. I mean, the future is, you've got to be excited. The future is bright. Cole Pepper. No, you're right. He looks like a legit character out there.

All right. We'll see all the Twins and Tigers fare over the next. next three days. Here's a conversation we've had many times. Big League ballplayers who have had their testicles eviscerated out on the ball field. You would think that more of them would wear a good old-fashioned nut cup, but they don't. Toronto Blue Jays utility player Ernie Clement recently learned the hard way why protective cups are an important piece of equipment. at the play a day or two ago. He fouled a pitch straight down,

and the baseball careened off the dirt and back up into the underside of his sensitive little ball bag. Fowled the baseball straight down, it comes straight back up, and hits him in the pills. He stayed down for quite a while. But even after the incident, Clement says he's still going to free ball it as a big leaguer. he says as a matter of fact he has never worn a cup so he's not going to change now and then he takes a bit of a strange route here in explaining his choice of never wearing a nut cup at least this is the way he looks at it as a defender out there on the field he says i always felt like if i miss a ground ball it's my fault and i deserve to get hit in the nuts

So he Kind of a glutton for punishment I wonder if maybe in his free time Josh He enjoys Smushing or smashing Stomping You guys have Brad writer Randy Schaver You've heard of that?

Not familiar It's one of these deals where you've got The submissive character And then the dominant Submissive male Dominant female And the guy rests his balls On a cold concrete floor

And then his mystery She smashes them. And sometimes with high heels. Yeah, with big old boots on him. There might be a stretch to, there might be a stretch to think that Ernie Clement enjoys that in his free time. But, you know, he did.

I like he takes responsibility. He went ahead and said, you know, if I get hit in the balls, it's my own fault. His manager, John. Kind of glad I'm not familiar with that. No. You'll get there. I understand completely Bradrider.

I've learned a lot from this show. Yeah. That's where I learned what that was. Blue Jays manager, John Schneider, who was a catcher when he was an active big leaguer, he doesn't get it the whole the movement here of younger players who refuse to wear a cup. He says, guys are now more comfortable in not wearing one. He said they all say to him that they trust their hands. He says he finds it kind of weird how guys don't wear cups these days.

Yeah. So yeah, Clement is kind of, I don't know. comfortable with the pain. He's willing to risk it. He's willing to risk it. The way a lot of parents act at youth sporting events these days, you really got to stand out if you want to be recognized. This year is legendary.

An ass hat out there in Wisconsin at a youth football game. Just a dad, not a coach, hanging around on the sidelines watching the game. These are nine-year-olds playing football. He pulled a Woody Hayes, except, like I said, he wasn't coaching, just a dad on the sideline. He placed himself in the category of all-time bitch moves ever. Dude tripped a nine-year-old football player from the opposite club. He tripped the little kid, kicked him in the leg to trip him, as the kid was running down the sideline for a touchdown.

This video is everywhere. is it up on our website? Yeah. 93x.com. You can find this video. Yep. He went ahead and did it. The coach of the kid that got tripped called it the most cowardly act he's ever seen.

Now, again, this was in Wisconsin. Two football teams, nine-year-old kids. And as I described, the kid was rushing down the sideline to score a touchdown. Dad extended his left leg, did more than extended his leg. Like I said, it was like a leg whip. The boy and the bitch dad both tumbled to the ground. Officials had to halt the game. The boy was okay, but they say he was pissed.

This is a 41-year-old man. Jesus. I mean, you run hot, and you've snapped, but I can't even imagine you snapping like this. Over a frigging youth football game? I couldn't possibly care less what was happening out there. I'm trying to think, like, how can we maybe, you know, it was an instant thing he didn't think about it,

But I think, you know, you run hot and you would never do something. You've got to be nuts. You've got to be completely off your rocker to do something like this. 41-year-old man. He just simply wet his pants because his kid's team was about ready to get scored on. Nine-year-olds. Definitely seen parents heated and a little out of control at games, but I've only seen one parent actually kicked out to the point where everybody applauded.

I mean, he did his best to get kicked out of that. Brad, what about you? I mean, you coach, you've... And Randy, obviously, you coached. Yeah, I'm trying to think of the worst thing I ever saw. It doesn't even come close to anything like that. No, not at all. No.

And some of these might be saying, aren't you going a little too far calling this guy a bitch? Well, let me continue on. After this guy leg whipped a nine-year-old, he then ran away. But police were able to find him. He has been banned from this ballpark for life. but there were plenty of parents and other grown folks who were at this ballgame who are calling for assault charges. Yeah, there should be.

And that may be your reality. Listeners are saying the same thing. Yeah. Probably the funniest slash worst thing I ever saw was I was coaching against some guy and some town. I'm not even going to mention what town. I don't want to reverse the town or the kid, the guy or the kid. You're mumbling a lot, Bradrider. What are you saying?

Yeah, I was coaching against the guy. He got kicked out. of a game. It was like a 14 new baseball game. And we were at a tournament out of town. And so these kids, you know, this team was from out of town. And so he got, he got booted from the game, umpires booted him from the game. And so

he watched him as he left the dugout and he went to his wife and basically said, you know, I need to drive back to the hotel because I can't, they won't allow me here in the ballpark anymore. And the wife basically said loud enough for everybody to hear at the ball field, you're walking back. So the guy disappeared and started walking back to the hotel

two or three miles away. Concrete finisher Jesus said I'm a high school wrestling coach. I've seen many dads get kicked out a weekend tournaments because they can't handle seeing their kids lose. I got a friend whose kids are starting to become of age to play sports during this and that. I think they

had a football game over the weekend. My friend she said, I'm just worried about the temper. I'm like, your kid seems very level-headed, happy-go-lucky. She goes, no, I'm talking about myself. I'm going to be that mom that ends up on the news. I just know it. Ashley will be too. I have a bad temper, yeah.

Yeah, it's going to happen. You're going to get kicked out. Probably. So, yeah, there you go. Yeah, Josh, you were saying, you know, I have the potential to run hot at times. And when I was a kid, oh, yeah, I was out of control on the ice quite often. Cheap shots were my thing. I would flip out and mangle a kid.

But I enjoyed that. In Beer League, I embarrassed myself once really badly. I was playing defense and some kid came down and fake me out of my jocks so badly. And I was hung over and I was tired and I didn't want to be there. I threw my stick. And that is like the most chicken dick move in the history of hockey. And as soon as it left my hands, I said to myself, oh my God, what have you done?

threw my stick at the kid as he went in on a breakaway. Yeah, at least you had an instant regret. Yeah. It wasn't overly. I did way worse physically when I was younger. But that was where I thought, oh, my God. I just thought of it. I went straight over to the bench.

I went straight over to their bench and apologize. But that was the one I regret that. I do. I thought a one that was pretty funny. There was a dad that confronted another dad in the parking lot. of one of my kids used sports events and like chest bumped him and everything. And another dad came up to this aggressive dude

and kind of pulled him aside. He's like, yeah, that's the chief of police. And then he walked away. Didn't realize he was messing with the chief of police. Josh, I think I know who you're talking about it. I don't think you want to mess with him. Nope. It was kind of an infamous moment in that town.

Yeah, I'd imagine you probably do know that story. Yes, I do. All right, you guys have one thing or another. say about the Vikings. I think they played a practice game over the weekend. They went down to their final cuts. Is there anything pressing you'd like to talk about with the Minnesota Vikings? They still don't play for another 10 days or something like that.

13th, I think. Yeah, almost two weeks. Jesus, cramming. They kept four quarterbacks. They kept every one of them, huh? For now. So McCarthy and Max Brosmer are both on the roster, which is a little bit surprising. But no,

wasn't really any big moves or they didn't trade for anybody. They didn't cut somebody that wasn't expected. It's pretty much standard across the board. The quarterback, obviously, is the biggest story. And again, it doesn't mean that he'll be on the roster opening day. It just means that for now, they're going to keep all four. Fair enough. What's the old saying when you have four quarterbacks, you don't have one?

Oh, that's a good saying. No, I'm not actually surprised they kept all four because I think they're trying to figure out if he has any trade value with anybody. If other teams are going to be desperate for a quarterback come week two or week three. And those other guys, I mean, pretty much everybody on the roster, all those quarterbacks on the roster have had injury issues the last couple of years. So if you have four, you're probably better off than having three if you've got injury issues in that room. That Harrison Smith dude is expected to come back to work with the Vikings now. the latest in this long, friggin' drawn out. The last word I read yesterday is he's expected to come back and work for the Vikings.

The only question is when? Aaron Donald has unretired and reached a $20 million agreement to work for the Rams again. For one year, yep. Okay. Help him get back to the Super Bowl. All right. And he's lining up next to Miles Garrett. So there's nothing wrong with that.

So I'm looking around the internet yesterday. That's what we do, isn't it, Cubby? Yep. Looking around the internet. Is this year two for Karen Rogers with the Pittsburgh Steelers? Yep. Yes. Okay.

So maybe this is an old joke, but it's the first I've seen of it. So this is a meme. I believe you would define it as a meme. It's a picture of Karen with his Pittsburgh Steelers uniform on, standing out on the ball field. And it says here, the Pittsburgh Stillers landing Aaron Rogers is like finally banging your high school crush

when she's 40 and has four kids. I enjoyed the hell out of that joke. That is good. Even though it's probably a year old. First impressions mean a lot. Would you agree, Cubby? Yeah. You could change your opinion later on,

but they do mean a lot. People can. ruin it for you or vice versa. Indianapolis Colts wide receiver Kenan Allen was arrested early yesterday morning on drunken driving charges. If you don't know who I'm talking about, this is a guy who I think has spent

all of his career with the how do you call it San Diego Los Angeles Chargers? The Colts just hired the guy. First impressions can mean a lot. The Colts just hired the guy and he went ahead and got himself a DWI. He was arrested in downtown Indianapolis.

at around 1 o'clock in the morning. What would that have been yesterday morning? They approached his vehicle, which was parked in a no parking zone. He showed signs of intoxication, and he was arrested. I wonder what they make of that. Well, I can tell you that the Colts organization

shocked everyone by saying, we are aware of the incident, and we are in the process of gathering more information and have no further comment at this time. just a month ago they hired them. Yeah, what a dope. Nick, this person said I would still bang my high school crush at 40 with four kids. Well, of course.

Of course. You can't say no to that. Nobody's saying they wouldn't. Hell no. There you go. Hockey. They're getting ready to play hockey in, oh, what, a month and a half for real skis? They'll start playing preseason games.

I don't know, two, three weeks from now, something ridiculous like that. Sounds right. F me running. Chill out. Yeah, relax. Just give us another year. You got to chill. Colorado avalanche defenseman, I struggle every time.

Kale McCar? Every time I effed that guy's name up. What did he do? Oh, he upped and signed a $163 million eight-year contract extension with that club, which makes him the highest paid player in NHL history until the next guy. His deal passes the old record held by the Russian kid. From what I understand, the Russian kids, 8-year 130, whatever. It's the most expensive contract in NHL history until a few weeks from now.

Yep. Until Quinn used until they get him figured out. Winnipeg Jets goalie Connor Hellebeye. has officially requested a trade from the team. Some folks would say he's the best goaltender in the world right now. What kind of a guy gets tired of Winnipeg? What the hell do you want? They got everything in Winnipeg.

Three-time Vesina Trophy winner, one-time Hart Trophy winner. Terrific goaltender. But he's doing that, I want to win a cup, gimmick. He's doing like a Kevin Durant thing. I've worked hard enough. I want to win. He's doing that gimmick. I feel sad for the fans of the Winnipeg Jets.

It's obvious that he thinks he's got a better chance of accomplishing that Stanley Cup elsewhere. I don't like the bit, but it's been done to death at this point. Yeah, you guys are chomping at the bit for more hockey talk, I can tell. Please. Clearly. Just dead silence. And the Lynx lost. By damn, they lost.

Doesn't happen very often. No. The Atlanta Dream. Starring Angel Reese, Wawa, Wewa. Your gal. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. They lost by eight. Angel Reese set an NBA, nope, set a WNBA record with her 29th double-double in one season.

So suck on that. All right. Saw something online yesterday that you might like, Nick. Talk to me, Brad Ryder. We need something. Yesterday was a 39-year anniversary of the Kirby Pucket game. The Kirby... Six hits?

Pucket. Yes. Six for six. Two home runs, two doubles. Two singles, and he robbed Robin Young to a grand slam. I remember that like it was yesterday. Yep. Playing at the old county stadium in Milwaukee.

How many years, Brad? 39 years yesterday. 39 years. Wow. That would be 1987. That would be correct. Yeah. F me running.

Didn't the story go that he needed to borrow money for the cab or something like that? It rings a bell. He got called up and needed, he didn't have any cash on him. I think he had to go into the clubhouse or something to get somebody to come out with money for the cab driver. Right story, wrong guy. Oh, is it? Because Kirby wouldn't have been called up. It was 87.

Oh, yeah. But there is a Twins player who had that story. Who the hell was that? Actually, I think it's Kirby. I think it was when Kirby got called up in 82. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's Kirby.

Right story, right guy, wrong year. There you. We got there. I want something else to be wrong. Oh, yeah, the cab fare story. Oh, I remember when Kirby went six per six and John Gordon completely wet his pants. I mean, wet his pants. Oh, my God.

If you've got that audio, you probably don't. We don't. Handy. But, oh, my gosh, that's funny. John Gordon was inconsolable. But that's how he did his thing. Yeah. Oh.

All right, Randy Schaber, Bradrider. Okay. We've got to put out the fire at some point. You guys have just been crazy today. Right? Josh? It's been a little overwhelming. It's Christ.

You guys had like a Red Bull party or something earlier? I don't know what the hell's gotten in. Let me see if this is the right audio. Palmer. single to right, double to left center, and double to right. Oh, my God. Well hit. Oh, Kirby Puckett. What a game. His second home run, six for six, and he has 10 hits in his last 11 batch. Six for six for Kirby Puckett. Phenomenal. He was special.

Kirby and John Gordon. We're both special. Yeah, here's a listener. who just texted in to say what John Gordon just got done saying. Nine for 10 in his last listener texted in and said what a lot of folks forget is that Kirby went four for five in the previous game. Thanks, Brad Rydder and Randy Schaber. We'll talk to you guys tomorrow. The 93X half-assed morning show. Hey, podcast friends. It's Dana here.

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Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke. He's got over 30 years experience. in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com.

That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Welcome back to the Monday program. You're looking good. I'll tell you that. You're looking damn good for a Monday morning. We're a pretty busy, group around here.

Busier than a one-armed paper hanger, they say. We'll be back at the fair this Friday. Right after we wrap up the Friday edition of the 93X Half-Fass Morning Show, we'll be cruising out to the 93X merchandise booth. Come on by and say hello. Hopefully by Friday, most

folks here in town have little to zero interest in attending the fair because the crowd last Saturday was impossible. First time ever, Cubby, that I left the fair on account of the crowd. It was tough. We ended up leaving for that reason, too. Ooh, we. Thanks for coming out, everybody.

Seeing us Saturday. We appreciate it, but damn, it was nuts. Ad butts. Good for the fair. Good for the vendors. But I had to wave the white flag pretty quickly. Saturday night is our half-ass morning show, Summer Bash, down there at Mystic Lake Casino,

Creed, Candlebox, P-O-D, Tim, Montana. Tickets still available. Beautiful venue. Here's your chance to see that new joint down there at Mystic. Lake, the amphitheater. Haven't wanted to check that out. It's going to knock your D in the dirt, Josh. That's what I hear. Everybody says it's great.

So we're awful busy. Speaking of all that loud ass acid rock, like Creed, here's a report that says listening to live metal music is linked to a higher pain tolerance. Now, to prove that, I'm going to say, stand on Josh's big toe the entirety of the Megadeth concert coming up in September. See if we can prove that. Yeah.

Listening to live metal is linked to a higher pain tolerance. I mean, just think about folks getting pumped at the gym, right? You can just handle a little more. Gets a little more excited. Well, maybe excited is the wrong word. I was going to say pumped again.

So some folks went out to the Wacken open air metal festival and journey. Legendary Outdoor. awesome. It's a legendary festival they have every year. Yeah. I even have a record at home, Josh. It's Twisted Sister live from the Wacken German music showdown. Oh, it's got to be 20 years ago or something like that. Speaking of Twisted Sister, did you watch their first performance with Sebastian Bach? No! Okay, I got to watch it. I made a note to watch it later. There's some articles written on it this morning. Sebastian Bach has taken over the lead vocals from D. Snyder,

because D. Snyder is dealing with some health problems. I can't remember what it was. We're concerned about D. So Sebastian Bach has taken his place. Obviously, God rest the soul of A.J. Perro, he's no longer on the drums. I think Mark the Animal Mendoza has also taken a walk. But you still got your J.J. French and your Eddie Fingers, O'Heda. No, so how did it sound?

I didn't watch it yet. I was wondering if you did. No. I'm going to watch it after the show. I hope that Sebastian Bach can still sing, because I've heard that's a coin flip these days. Yeah, I've seen both examples of that, good and bad. So here's this study. Here's more on this study that says listening to live metal music is linked to a higher pain tolerance.

At the Wacken Open Air Medal Festival in Germany, they grabbed a bunch of metal fans. And this is what they did. They had those metal fans place their non-dominant hands. I don't know if that makes a difference, but it's noted here in the story. They placed their non-dominant hand and forearm into ice-cold water for as long as they could tolerate it. And I think they did this to folks before, during, and after the show. And they say here, the group who tested after the show could endure pain much longer. I was kind of wondering if it has to do with they're still hammered.

You know, or your pain tolerance is lower? Yeah, yeah. You're drunk off your ass. That's the first thing that I thought of as well, but there's no mention in here of anyone's alcoholic state at the time. Sure, you get a little gooned up. That changes everything, yeah.

That changes everything, yeah. So I guess what should say here? A cognitive scientist had this to say. He said this is certainly relevant for the group of chronic pain patients. This is certainly relevant for folks with chronic pain issues. Music is often used to trigger positive feelings and induce relaxation. But when it comes to letting out one's anger, you don't necessarily want to listen to relaxing music. I don't know if I understand a single word of that.

But at any rate, they say that the folks who went to this whack and metal show had a higher pain tolerance. I was told when I had my spontaneous pneumothorax as a 14-year-old kid, my lung collapsed. During the whole process, I kept, doctors and nurses kept telling me that I had an incredible tolerance for the pain that I was going through compared to others. Now, I don't know if that was the truth or they were just trying to get me through the situation and make me feel better about myself? I don't know. I could understand that strategy,

trying to make you feel a little better. Josh, speaking of rocking out, Guitar Hero is bringing back a new game similar to rock band called Stage Tour. Yeah, it looks very similar. I didn't get into rock band as much as I did Guitar Hero. Only tried the rock band thing once. It was here in the studio because the rock band people gave us the video game system

and gave us a video game, and I will admit, we had a good time. But that was my only exposure to rock band. Guitar Hero, I tried three or four times, and then I never acknowledged its existence again. Don't know why, because I did enjoy Guitar Hero quite a bit. I just am not much of a gamer. But you got into Guitar Hero quite a bit. Big time. All night long.

I suck too much to get into it. Oh, easily, yeah. Staying up all night. Weekends. Yeah, I was really into Guitar Hero. Rock Band, we bought it. and played it as a family a few times. And the drums were fun.

But for whatever, maybe at that point, I was kind of getting burned out on guitar hero. So it was the same except for drums for the most part. I always felt dorky sitting behind that toy drum set and rock band. I don't know why, because you're the same thing with the guitar. You're playing a little plastic toy. But for some reason, the drums, I felt like a dork. Yeah, I remember not wanting to do the drums.

Question, he says. Why? Because the same reason. Dana, like, I thought it was dorky too. Do you have rhythm at all, either one of you? No. I guess it depends on the day depends on the day

When we had band auditions in elementary school they had you list like the top three instruments he wanted to play and for me number one by far was drums like I thought that would be cool to be the drummer oh no and I go in there it's just me and him in the little soundproof room you know he goes all right well just start with like a little basic beat you know do do do and then

within seconds he goes okay it looks like saxophone is number two Josh you had a question yeah I had a question now Danny you said he kind of felt like a Dork playing the jumps. Now, didn't you two weeks ago send me a text saying your wife is frustrated with you because you used all the bowls in the house to separate your Legos? Yeah, that happened. And you're, how old? 41.

41. But he felt like a dork playing the drums. That doesn't make any sense. And your life is kind of based around video games. Yeah, for some reason, that drum set just... That was too far. But you're right, you're right, though. I mean, of all the nerdy things I do, like why I decided to draw a line there by playing the plastic drum set is beyond confusing. I don't really remember the setup for the drums, but...

Yeah, it's like little chinty kind of. Monster truck Jesus has texted in to say that he's totally stoked for this video game. He says, expert plus drums, baby. He's an expert. Oh, really? Yeah, I never could do expert on any of that stuff. Like the rock band

game, this new game called Stage Tour, we'll have have room for a lead vocalist, a lead guitar player, a bass or rhythm guitar player, and drums. It'll be out on your PlayStation 5, your Xbox this, your PC, that, your Nintendo, others. I watched the video for like the extended Netflix trailer, I guess you'd say, for the new Grand Theft Auto. Oh, is that wild? It's crazy to think that's a video game. I know.

Oh, I haven't seen it. I haven't played Grand Theft Auto in years, but I was intrigued enough to want to check out that. It's like a 30-minute play-through where they show game footage. And it is insane the amount of details. Yeah, you're right. The detail is incredible. And I read too that. So there's two main characters this one, a guy and a gal, and they're kind of romantically involved.

And it's so detailed that you need to, like, respond to text messages and stuff in a timely fashion. Ah, no. If you want the relationship to blossom with this woman. That's doing way too much. I haven't played very little those games at all. But did you have to lift weights in previous games like they showed in the... Yeah, you did in San Andreas. I remember they debuted that.

And that's kind of when I checked out. You have to go to the gym. You have to remember to eat food. I can't do that in my normal day-to-day life. I struggle with that. So why am I going to do it in a video game? If you're going to go ahead and get your hands on stage tour, okay, it's December of this year. when this video game will cut loose upon society.

They got a lot of songs for you to sing drum or play fake guitar. It's a pretty good set list. Some metal, some pop, some punk. Here are the confirmed artists that will be featured on the game, Metallica, Slipknot, Muse. Josh, Megadeth is included. And they used the song, Tornado of Souls. I thought it was a good choice. From what record, Rust in Peace?

What year, 1990? I wouldn't have expected them to be that cool. Def Leopard, bad omens. Let's see with these last few. Let's see if you can find. What was that old game they used to play on Sesame Street? One of these things is not like the other? Yeah.

All right. Let me get through the last few. See if you can find the one. Def Leopard, Bad Omen, Weezer, Zee Top, smash mouth Dana That All-Star song Yeah you play with

What do you call those things? Lego Yes you play with Lego As a 41-year-old That's pretty dorky Sure it is Your wife just wants to have a bowl of cereal Dana where's all the bowls

If I catch you playing stage tour And you're playing along to smash mouth It's friggin' over dude It's over You're finally just going to choke me out. Yeah, he's skipping past the Megadeth, the Metallica. Oh, no, not Megadeth Metallica. Give me the hard stuff.

Give me Smashmouth. Your frustration is it's an alphabetical order. You've got to skip through all those bands. I refuse to buy this game until they come out with the stage tour. Just Smashmouth edition. I just want all Smashmouth. Deep cuts preferably. Now, Josh, back to Sebastian Bach,

taking over the lead vocal spot in Twisted Sister. Nasty Electrician, Jesus, texted in to say he saw a snippet this morning of Sebastian singing, I want to rock with Twisted Sister, and it seemed decent. Here's what I'll say about this situation. Here's what I'll say about the situation. It's unfortunate that Dee isn't there because D is one of the greatest frontmen in the history of music.

He is so good in every possible way. It's a shame. He's not feeling well. Sebastian Bach, one thing I'll say, he seems really, really excited to be involved with Twisted Sister. Very much so. I appreciate him for that. You can tell he has a lot of respect for the band.

Oh, yeah. Even if he can't sing terribly well, you know, for Christ's sake, the guys in his 50s, he's smoked and drank and bang everything that moved. No one's voice can last forever, of course, unless you're Mike Reno or Sammy Hagar. But the fact that he's so excited to be in the band makes me love Sebastian Bach even more than I already did. Sammy Hagar should be studied, don't you think? I think so. He can still sing it.

Mike Reno. No. And while we're on the topic of music, I want to say word life. Well, they're picking on me on Reddit, Josh. Oh, they are? I want to give full credit to a listener on Reddit who goes by Potato Stains Jesus. Potato Stains Jesus. This is a lot of fun, and I appreciate it.

He put together something called the Nightmare Mix Tape for Nick. Oh, fun. And here's what he said in his post. If Nick was for some reason punished to listen to only 12 songs on repeat, what would that mixtape look like? He found the topic funny, and he sat down and put together his 12 song Nightmare Mix Tate for me. He starts with, and I wish we could play all these songs, but we get in trouble. I know a radio station gets in trouble for playing music.

It's bizarre but true. I wish we could play all of them, but I'm sure you're familiar. He starts with Mr. Jones by the counting crows. Which I hear quite often when I listen to Cool 108 when I have free time. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, it's just torture. Oh, they've got a really good song.

Is it called Murder of One? I got to look up. They don't have a really good song. They really do. Track two would be Zoot Suit Riot by the Cherry Poppand Dad. He's remembering I have voiced this for years. There was no more stupid aggravating trend than the swing dancing trend in the late 90s. I'm going to put on my suit suit and learn to dance.

I got a big chain and oversized. It was so popular. It was so frigging dumb. I hate that. Hey, daddy, oh, crap. I just, oh my God. Jump jive and wail. Oh.

Number three on this nightmare mixtape. dedicated to me would be All the Small Fiends by Blink 182. Is that why you can't pronounce your I-N-Gs, Dana, because you were inspired by Blink 182? Yeah, inspired by Tom DeLong. That friggin guy comes at us right away in the song,

and he says, all the small fiends. And I just, my skin crawls. I love that song. Follow you down by the gin blossoms. I mean, this. all of that early to mid-90s kind of I mean, gin blossoms weren't really grungy,

but they were, you know what I'm talking about. Oh, God. Lump by the presidents of the United States of America. This is totally a 93.7, The Edge playlist. Oh, this is what I was tortured by in our early days, Josh. Tortured. I mean, this sounds like an hour on that radio station. I know we've got to take a break.

We'll get back to this. in a minute. Before we take a break, can I tell you my presidents of the United States of America story? So total nightmare. I'm working at the radio station here in the early days, and there was no bigger song in the world at this miserable time than lump by the presidents of the, oh. So we were playing that music. We were pushing those bands, and every day I was like the new guy in the corner, puking my guts out. So the presidents of the United States of America come to town. I went and interviewed them on location somewhere.

I thought it was all right. I probably wasn't terribly enthusiastic, but whatever. It was a quick little interview with the band. We ran it on the radio station. Who cares? A year later, they returned to push their second record, which I hope went nowhere, but I can't really remember. And I and my radio partner at the time interviewed them in person in the studio.

First time I was on location. Year later, here they are in studio. Fair enough. Decent interview with the president. We go off air and one of the members of the band says, do you guys remember last year when we were in town and you had some guy come and interview us on location? And at first I thought it was a joke. But then it was obvious they didn't recognize me from the prior year.

Do you guys remember when you sent someone to interview us a year ago? and me and my radio partner said, yeah? And the guy from the presidents of the United States of America said, that guy was the biggest friggin idiot we have ever met in our lives. Whatever happened to him? Oh, no. He was such an impossible jackass and he was a dick and we hated him. Good for you guys for getting rid of him.

Oh, that sucks. And me and my old radio partner are trying to contain our smiles. And I even said, I said, yeah, that guy was a douche, man. I mean, I probably had a haircut or something. I met him for five minutes a year had gone by. I mean, I didn't expect them to wreck it. So we're biting our lower lips trying not to laugh. And then we continued to talk off air.

And then I noticed that one of them realized that I was that same guy. And I could tell by the look on his face, he felt really bad. Because before they left, he said, yeah, you know that guy we were talking about from last year? On second thought, it wasn't that bad. I mean, it was early in the morning. You know, we probably didn't hold up our end of the bragan as well as we could have. So, yeah, I mean, anyway, we just were wondering what happened to that guy. It wasn't that bad after all, and they left.

And my partner, I were able to laugh our balls off once they left. That's funny. That was second to none. It would have taken everything in me to not just scream. Like, it was me. It's been hilarious for your partner just piled on and, like, just started just roasting. You're like, God, Guy was the big as it. You were so right.

I hate that guy. I still hate him to this day. He tried to pull the balls out of my pants one day. He was a pervert. Yeah, he was a maniac. We called him smoking rock in the ladies' room while touching himself. Hey, Josh, I received the text that simply says, Peaches come from a can.

They were put there by a man. Those are direct lyrics from another hit single from the presidents of the United States of America. It was Lump, Josh. That was their lead single. Lump was the big one. Followed by Peaches. Also decently large. That was one of the first CDs I ever owned.

It was? Did you purchase it or was a gift? My sister had it. It was in our house, though. It was only of the first CDs we had. Terrible. I can't say I was a fan. Unforgivable.

What happened here was a listener on Reddit, decided to bust my balls a little bit, and it turned out beautiful. He posted if Nick, for some reason, was punished to listen to only 12 songs on repeat, what would that mixtape look like? and he put together 12 tracks. He's heard me bitch up and down about certain bands

and certain styles of music. So he put together for me a nightmare 12-track-long mixtape. So far we've blown through Mr. Jones by the Counting Crows, Zoot Suit Riot by Cherry Poppand Daddies, All the Small Fiends from Blink 182. Follow you down, Gin Blossoms, lump by the presidents of the United States of America. We're only halfway there. Track six.

Every Morning by Sugar Ray. Track 7. All I can say is that my life is getting a college. No Rain by the Blind Melons. That song was everywhere. My freshman year were college. It was on MTV constantly. Everybody.

Everybody played that song. Track 8. Ants Marching by the Dave Matthews Band. I don't mind that song. Number nine. The Spin Doctors with two Precats. RINCES. Hey, this one says he going to do this.

And the other one says this time, you will go and do that. And a bur-b-de-burp-b-b-b-b-b-b-b. I like it. That was a good impression. Number 10, track 10. I only want to be with you by the miserable hooty and the blowfish. I like when Ted covered that song in the first movie. He was basically doing his impression of how Darius Ruckers not really announcing anything.

The teddy bear? Yeah. Now he throws us here, Josh, with track 11. I think he wanted to lighten the beating a little bit and let me off the hook for just one track. Because track 11, he must know that I am in favor of. Vinnie Vincent Invasion and their song from their second record, what was that called All Systems Go? A track called That Time of Year. See, I love Vinny Vincent Invasion.

Yeah, me too. So he gave you one. He gave me one. Track 12, and a lot of text messages have come in on this, and here it is. Track 12 on this mixtape from hell directed to me personally. Track 12 would be Radar Love. Now, not by golden earring, and not even by White Lion. I didn't know this existed, but somewhere, potato stains Jesus,

says there is a 35-minute-long live version of radar. Our Love performed by you too. Oh my God. You too. I assumed he was joking. There really is. Oh, I don't know.

I'm taking his word for it. I think that's the only band I've ever I can confidently say I just despise them. That would be a hell of a poll if he was making that up. Now other folks chimed in on Reddit and they said... Sorry, I was looking at this up. I wanted to bring up to you that I got crap for radar love over the weekend.

It's not so much people like to bust our balls about the white line version of radar love. It's a regular headache for you and I. Other folks chimed in on this Reddit post or whatever you call it in the business. And they said, you know, next time you've probably got to include an Adam Sandler song. Oh, yeah. Oh, I just want to bash my face in when Adam Sandler starts singing a song. My Maria by Brooks and Dunn. that reminds me of spending time up in Glenwood, Minnesota.

Lots of ska, lots of trumpets, lots of grunge, pearl jam, Nirvana, and maybe even next time throw in a song with a lot of bagpipes. Like, say, for example, Dropkick Murphys. Yes, I've mentioned quite a few times on this show how I run screaming from bagpipes. What a great list. Thank you. That was fun. I appreciate you taking the time.

And yeah, I mean, if I was forced to listen to just those 12 songs on a mixtape, I'd be an even more miserable some bitch than you already know me to be. Oh, and by the way, before we go, we were talking a little bit about Grand Theft Auto, the latest Grand Theft Auto that's on our way or on its way. What is that? A couple months from now? Yeah, November 19th, I believe it was the day. Did we mention this, Josh?

Someone texted in and said the latest Grand Theft Auto will take 80 hours to complete? Yeah, I don't know what the other one. I think, was it the same text that said it was 30? The last one? They said the last one was 30 and now it's 80. If that matters at all to anybody who's enthusiasm. Get your money's worse. Yeah, I guess you do.

Two pumps in a squeeze Jesus text to Luther Bloomington Kiah text line with a shout out to his smoking hot and newly minted fiancee. He said they got engaged this weekend and he wants her to know, no takesie backsees. She's stuck with him. She said yes. Shout out to Polly Daddy Jesus from Roro, She'sis. And happy birthday to Claire. She's turning the big 09 from Mom and Dad.

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