93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Cheese Johnson

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

Originally Aired June 24, 2026: The biggest douchebag musicians of all time. Don't fall into the campground crapper. Everything you've ever wanted to know about the Henderson, MN Sauerkraut Queen. Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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And hey, mention 93X. Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93X-Hapast morning show. 90. Ninety, three. Dirty bastards. You're beautiful. Appreciate you being there.

Right from the get-go too here for our midweek broadcast. Right in the middle. That's where we're at. Welcome to the 93X half-ass morning show. You know, before the week is through, before the work week is over, one of us is going to be as busy as a one-arm paper hanger. Boy, you're not kidding. And that's Dana over there.

And I know what you're saying. You're saying, what is there a Lego building, Iron Man contest in town or something? That'd be fun. Yeah. That would be some of you as you're saying, what is there a Super Mario Brothers themed glory hole going up somewhere in town? No. If so, which end would you be working there, Dana? Oh, yeah, I'd switch off.

Would you? Yeah, why not? Yeah. Get the best of both worlds. Exactly, Josh. You're a smart man. Dana's going to be the busy one around here before the week is. over. Let me tell you what Dana's got

going on and you can tell us more if necessary. You can give us your thoughts on these, of course. This ought to be an interesting crowd for starters. Tomorrow night you're going to be at a movie theater in Plymouth for a screening of the latest jackass movie. I'm so excited for this.

Have you already seen it? I haven't seen it yet, no. Because I know sometimes you get into these real early. This is the getting in early one. Okay. So yeah, we're hosting a screening at the Imagine Theater in Plymouth. If people want to come, you can register and win tickets to 93X.com. We want to fill it up, have some laughs.

There's nothing more fun than being in a pack theater watching a jackass movie. It's kind of like a community thing. We're all laughing together. Comedy's in general. Right. It's fun. Being a Plymouth-Wisetta resident, I'm going to see if I can put a stop to this before it happens. You don't all mean city limits?

It's not you. I don't like the influence, the negative influence of those jackass characters on the young people in my neighborhood. Yeah, I wonder if there are going to be a lot of pranks. coming out of one. I've never seen one in theaters. This movie's going to come out. Next thing you know, the kids are going to be firing bottle rockets at my house and things like that. From their butts. Yes, exactly. I'm going to try to put a stop to

this. No, tomorrow night at what theater? The Imagine Theater in Plymouth. I'm not sure if I know which one that is, but folks can go to our website and get themselves a ticket. Yep, they can register to win tickets. We want to fill it up and have some fun. And you, didn't you have a

related interview to this? Yeah, I don't know when this is coming out or I ended up getting interviewed by a guy from CNN about Jackass. I was sitting on the couch. This kind of thing happens to you often. It does. All of a sudden, you're on a television show being interviewed for one of your passions. I was sitting on the couch getting some stuff done,

and somebody pointed out that a guy from CNN was looking to interview people about Jackass. The prompt was, I'm looking to interview people who grew up with Jackass. And that was me, so I got tagged in a tweet, and he contacted me. and we ended up talking the phone for like half an hour. So it's a written piece. He's writing a piece about jackass. Not a TV thing? No, not a TV thing about just the history of it and where it's led to.

So I was like, wow, I'm talking to something on CNN about jackass of all things. Maybe I'm mixing up movies, but didn't you do an interview for our website? Like, were you led an interview? Oh, that was for a letter, Kenny. Oh, okay, that's right. Something different. Different. Yep.

Well, this is all very exciting. So what kind of questions did this guy ask you about the Jackass series? Why it's still so relevant and popular 25 years later? Well, yeah, not slim, kind of shady Jesus said, I don't know. I'm not sure how many more times I can watch a bunch of dudes in their 50s kicking each other in the balls. Well, see, the thing about the Jackass is, and I think a lot of people don't watch it and just kind of see it from afar

and assume it's just nothing but nutshots. The secret sauce of Jackass has always been just a friendship and camaraderie. guys have. Watching them laugh at each other and laugh with each other, that's what makes it so much fun and so enjoyable. I only watched one, maybe two episodes when it first came out and it didn't appeal to me. It doesn't seem like it would be your thing. You're so anti-nut shot that. It never did. At first you didn't think any of it was funny? Not at all. It was one of those things where everybody said the same. Gosh, why didn't we think of this? We were doing this stuff before Jackass ever came around. Not just the nut stuff, but all the crazy pranks and that kind of stuff messing around

I mean, I had limited, the word as an experience, I had limited exposure to the show. Like I said, I watched it once or twice. And sure, putting your friend in a shopping cart and pushing them out into traffic, to me, that's hilarious, right? That's the kind of stuff I like. That's the stuff that we used to do, like Josh just got done saying. Every friend group, when Jackass made it big, every friend group said to themselves, damn, this could have been us. We did stuff like that.

What pushed me away from jackass was shoving things up their asses. And that's where I had to get myself removed from the... Yeah, the nudity and torturing privates and stuff like that. It wasn't my thing. But some of the stuff they did, I thought it was pretty funny. So that, yeah, right, that's what pushed me away from the scene. Since then, I have watched a little bit of this and that movies and interviews with that Johnny Knoxville character, and he does come off like a very likable guy and a very generous

and appreciative guy. From what I understand, he'll sit down with any swinging D, and he's just a regular cat. He comes across that one. Am I right about that? Absolutely. He's always been so likable. So, yeah, it was never my style, jackass, but they've got another movie. Dana's going to be there tomorrow night to host.

the screening at a theater somewhere's in Plymouth. And as he said, go to our website if you want to get some Friday night. Oh, by the way, here's go fast, turn left Jesus. He said, can we add something to Dana's list? Send his ass down to Henderson, Minnesota for Sourcrowt days this weekend. Oh, dude, I love Sourcrow. There will be a Sourcrowe eating contest on Sunday. Boy, I wonder what that would do to you, a mass amount.

I think that would mess up my tummy pretty good. Too much of anything is a bad thing. Sourcrow in particular, a mass amount of that resting down in your boiler. Well, we've got some. We just got some for the first time in a really long time. You mean your family? Yeah. So I'm wondering, maybe I should just go for it a little bit and see how much I can get down.

I think you ought to pass on that idea. That sounds like fun, though. I've been down to Henderson once or twice. It kind of reeks like sourcrow no matter where you go in Henderson. There's a scent to it. Oh, I don't mind the smell of that. Yeah, yeah. Friday night, Dana will be at Treasure Island.

A live concert going on. Starring Stone Temple Pilot, Cross Fade, Hubastank, Blackstone, Cherry. You're going to be introing the bands and whatnot? Yeah, hosting a pre-party introing the bands. It's going to be a lot of fun. That's a busy night. That's a busy night. A lot of nostalgia.

there. That's being fun. That's the music we listen to in high school and college. Yeah, this is nostalgia week for you, isn't it? It really is, yeah. This is a 90s gang bang starting tomorrow all the way through Friday. You host a lot of those pre-parties. Yeah, I do. The folks at Treasure Island, they're absolutely wonderful. The outdoor venue they have is fantastic. They put on a good show there. I'm excited. Doing those kind of gigs. Josh and I used to call that beer money. I'm going to go out tonight. What are you doing? night. I got to intro a couple of bands. I'm going to go get that beer money. Get that beer money,

baby. It's the only way you could pay your bills. What does this say? Johnny Knoxville was on Conan O'Brien's podcast a while back, and he came off like a super down-to-earth guy. That's medical device Jesus. Johnny Knoxville, sure. Yep, I heard that episode. I'm not going to watch him shove a pool cue up his buddy's ass. But like I said, when I've seen him, interviewed or seen him in a movie. He is very likable. You know, Wolfpack Softball Jesus is a little disappointed in you, Nick. He said, okay, so you're just too sophisticated to disguise your wiener as a mouse and

stick it into a snake cage? Jesus. You're above that? Is that a true story? It is. They really did that? Okay, that's a funny idea. I'm just, I'm not going to watch that on television or on a movie screen.

I'm just not going to do it. That snake got him good, too. How do you come up with that? That's the thing. I don't know. Drugs? Yeah. It's got to be.

It has to be drugs. So, okay, tomorrow night, penis pranks, Friday night, live rock and roll music. Hanging out with the bands, you get a chance to talk to the bands at all from this Stone Temple cross-sbade, hubistank, black stone set up.

You know, you don't really know how it's all going to be set up until you get there, so we'll see about that. Right. No, it should be a good time. Hopefully get some good weather, some outdoor music,

and folks, the Treasure Island. They put it on a good show. Freaking. Yeah, you're right. You don't know what you're going to get to. No, you don't. That's the beauty and also the nightmare of those types of gigs. And sometimes goes the opposite. You think, oh, I've heard good things about those guys. This will be easy. It'll be fun. And then you get there, they're completely dicks. And sometimes it's the exact opposite. You've heard bad things. And they're like, yeah, come hang out. You're cool. Yeah, rock stars, famous musicians. They can be a little iffy.

We've learned that over the years, haven't we, Covey? We have. But would you say most of our experiences have been good most. Actually, to be honest, I can only think like one that really wasn't. But for the most part, yeah, they've been great. Which is only, I mean, there's good and bad. And that's only natural no matter what the hell you do for a living. Of course, it's being a famous musician, being a rock star is quite a unique way to make a living. There's good and bad no matter who you are.

So it's only natural that you're going to. sometimes running to some dildos. I was just remembering we had a couple other jackass guys in. Steve O, and he was great. He was a lot of fun. I don't recall that at all. Super nice. We man, I think we had him in a couple times.

I remember that dude. Yeah, he was in maybe two different times. But I don't recall Steve O. Same with Knoxville. I've heard nothing but good things about those guys, too. All right. We talked to Knoxville on the phone once, never had him in studio. He does, a lot of people are texting in saying, dude's awesome.

He certainly comes across that way. He really does. If he's not a good guy, he's very good at faking it. Right. Wouldn't that be disappointing? Oh, I would crush me. You want to go down this route so someone put together a list of the biggest douchebags in music history. Now, I guess consider the idea that, you know, maybe at this point they've changed,

or maybe some of this is based on just one or two bad incidents. when I read this list, I mean, maybe don't label these people douchebags for life. You know, like give me an example, Josh, if you can, of maybe someone who had kind of a bad name, but has changed the public opinion of themselves. Maybe not a bad name, but like a reputation that maybe they're a bad person. No, no, no, that's good, too. Alice Cooper, he's like kind of a lovable. Ozzy Osbourne, actually, would probably be the best example.

Somebody just has a reputation where people thought this guy's evilly scary. There you go. He's a lovable grandpa. That's perfect. And Alice Cooper, all of a sudden you're like, this guy is a brilliant individual and a great golfer. Well, you know what happened to Alice Cooper was he dried up. Yeah, I'm sure for a lot of guys, that's what the difference is. Because when he was drunk, when he was young and drunk and first hit it,

from what I understand he was a prick just because he was a drunk but when he dried up he was able to show his real side and the real Alice Cooper is a wonderful guy so those are good examples somebody who had a reputation and still kind of does Jared Leto rubs a lot of

people the wrong way but when we had him in I would think he's probably the nicest celebrity we've ever met or maybe we caught him on a good day just based on some reputation he didn't mail you a box of his own poop no he wasn't weird maybe it was pre being weird. Yeah, that whole method acting thing that he did on suicide squaw, that kind of turned me

out from the guy. That does sound annoying. So whether it be just one or two bad incidents or whether it be a pattern of poor behavior, these are the characters who ended up on this list of the biggest douchebags in music history. Number one, Axel Rose. Yeah, you hear that a lot. The dude is just different, and he has been from the word go. He's just different. He's wired for. He's wired for. He's funny, and there's just no getting around it. I mean, one of my favorite stories from Slash's autobiography, and I wish I could tell you the name of the book, I'm sure you could look it up quite easily. I read a little bit of Slash's autobiography.

And I don't know how long ago he wrote this book, maybe only 10 some odd years ago. Probably within the last 15 years he wrote the book. And he said, and he was very honest about a lot of things. in the book, which is what you'd hope for when you read someone's eye out of, including Josh, including the amazing number of times the man has caught crabs. I could see why. He kind of just looks like someone who's caught crabs. Yeah, he was very honest about his problems with crabs.

But also, in this book that he only wrote 10, 15 years ago, he said, hey, and this, I'm paraphrasing, of course, he said, I still really don't know the guy. which is odd to read because you think, well, you guys were touring and working together for not a long period of time. I mean, Guns and Roses was really only a steady thing for about seven years or something like that, right? They kind of got started at 85, 86 by 93-4. They were completely shattered. Yeah, like a lot of that type of use. Like a lot of those bent.

But he said, in the book, he said, I really don't even know the guy. and he told this one story that'll never leave me. He said early in their career, they were just starting to work together. They were both young guys, of course. Slash was driving a car. Axel Rose was in the passenger seat. They're driving down Hollywood Boulevard, and they're just beginning to. And suddenly, Slash said, I'm going 45 miles per hour down Hollywood Boulevard,

and Axel Rose just opens up the passenger seat, pardon me, opens up the passenger door and threw himself out under the road. Weird. And Slash said to himself, Jesus Christ, what the hell have I done? Yeah. Some celebrities are pretty weird. How is it that I picked this guy to be my lead singer? What the hell's wrong with this guy? So Axel Rose.

I mean, some of the best frontmen are kind of known for being a little insane, I guess. Absolutely. Maybe that's part of what you need. Kind of what I said a few minutes ago, I mean, no matter what industry you're dealing with, no matter what group of people you're dealing with, there's going to be good and bad. But with musicians, it's a different animal. It just is. I think a lot of them, of course, make it on talent, Josh.

But I think a lot of them also make it because they have a tremendous chip on their shoulder. For sure. They are out to prove something and they'll die trying to prove it. Here's another good example from Victory, riding, square body driving Jesus, Snoop Dog. as a guy who's, I mean, he was one way in the early part of his career and now another lovable grandpa who's involved in everything. Everybody's accepted Snoop. He totally changed the public opinion of himself. To the point where some people are just tired of seeing him because he's everywhere.

All right. So Axel Rose, he had a couple of really bad incidents, selfish behavior that has labeled him an all-time douchebag. I don't know much about Chris Brown, the name rings a bell. What happened? Didn't he like beat a lady up? Beat up Rihanna. He beat up Rihanna. He was Rihanna.

His video footage of it. Oh, there is? Yeah. I'll be passing on that. I'd rather watch that mouse snake penis. Oh, you should watch that. That was fun, Josh. Kanye West, they say total narcissist out of his friggin mind.

Oh, dude. I'm surprised he's still alive. I mean, just with how goofy that guy is. Justin Bieber. He's come around. Yeah, you see, like I said, these folks might have made the list because of one or two really bad incidents, and maybe they're a different person now.

Bieber's one of those examples of the kid got worldwide famous when he was 14. Like, who wouldn't act like an idiot? And, you know, when I've seen him on television, he does come off like a likable dude. You never know. People can change Robin Thick. I haven't heard that name in a long time. Robin Thick?

He had that dirty music video many years ago. Learned lines. Okay, apparently he's a dick. I hate to even say it because I love the band and I think he's such a talented guy. But Dave Mustaine kind of has a reputation of being difficult to get along with. Yes, he does. He has that reputation. We have had good experiences with Dave.

Definitely. And by the way, all Josh and I have been doing off air for about the last three, four days is listening to nothing but Megadeth. It is kind of awesome. And I go home and I listen to, I have that stretch where. I've been obsessed the last few years. I think Kiko Larrero got me back into it. Yeah, I was quite intimidated by Dave Mustaine leading up to the first time we interviewed the man.

I still am, but I am. You want to talk about a guy with a chip on his shoulder? Oh, yeah. But we've always had. Servedly so. We've had pleasant experiences with Dave. Phil Specter, the old guy from the 50s, and wasn't he accused of killing somebody?

Yeah, he's. Ike Turner, of course. Gary Glitter did terrible things. Oh, boy. Iggy Azalea. Now, I've heard the name, but I couldn't pick her out of a crowd. It says here she argues with critics and she's a general pain in the ass, but I know nothing about Iggy Azalia. Fred Durst.

Oh, really? I guess I haven't heard that before. Again, like I mentioned a couple of times. I must be missing something obvious. I think you are. Like I mentioned a couple times, some of this is based. on one bad night. Some of it's based on a pattern of behavior. When they mentioned Fred Durst in this list of biggest douchebags in music, they mention Woodstock 99. And they mention

their performance, his performance of the song, Break Stuff, was blamed for inciting riots, violence, and sexual assaults. And then he deflected the blame. It's a long time. I ago. I saw the documentary. I couldn't tell you much more than that. So some of it is, hell, you had a few bad incidents and people are going to hang it over your head until the day that you die. Courtney Love. Oh, yeah. We had our own problems with her years ago. Gene Simmons, yes, he's a career prick. Was he one of my idols growing up? Yes. Perry Saturn Jesus brings up Sebastian Bach. Yeah, he also has a reputation. Oh, he had a couple of moments in the 80s that I'm sure he would like to take back.

I'm sure he'd like to take back. I love that half Japanese Jesus brought up Invee Malmstein, incredible guitar player, incredible temper. I've even seen him kind of like low-key. He's making YouTube videos playing some of his songs. And even though he's still kind of a jerk, even like at a resting, just sitting there not even doing much. Isn't he a Swede? Yeah. That explains that.

He's got a temper. He's a friggin' swede. Kid Rock. Adam Levine. I don't really know who that is. I've heard the name. The guy from Maroon 5. He's on the voice now.

Okay. Oh, really? He seems like a nice guy. Yeah, he comes across. I hope I'm not missing a giant news story. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It says here in 20 and 22 there was some kind of a cheating scandal. Yeah, he cheated.

Right, because folks thought, oh, here's a family man and then he cheated. Obviously not good, but. A rock star cheating on their life? Yeah. It's not super. surprising a rock star would be. You might want to let that one go. The Gallagher Brothers from Oasis.

Well, specifically they note Liam, whichever one that is. Nobody hates the Gallagher brothers more than the Gallagher brothers. I know. And those who didn't make the list but could have goes like this. Roger Waters, Pink Floyd, don't know. I've never heard. I never was a big Pink Floyd guy. Yeah, me either.

A few of their songs I really enjoy, but I wouldn't know word one about Roger Waters. Richie Blackmore, guitar player. Did he have a reputation of being a jerk? He had a reputation for being a little scary. Yeah. That's what I remember about Richie Blackmore. Now, his guitar work is beautiful. Deep Purple, Rainbow.

I mean, Richie Blackmore's guitar playing is some of my favorite stuff to listen to. But he's just got a reputation for being kind of a. dark, scary dude. Sharon Osborne. Right. You know, I used to kind of think, I wonder if she's, I don't know, just super driven to the point where she comes across is pretty abrasive. But maybe she's a douchebag, according to this list.

No surprise to see David Lee Roth's name on this list. I mean, just one of the oddest dudes that ever lived. And also, yeah, I've heard lots of bad stuff. stories about the way Dave has carried himself over the years. I love him to death. He's one of my favorite people that has ever lived. I worship the David Lee Roth Van Halen era. But I know, we all know, if you're an older music fan, you know.

Dave can start trouble. Edward Van Halen is in here as well, the late great Edward Van Halen. You got to read the book called Running with the devil. It's also available as an audio book. That's where I whip through the whole thing in about two days. There's a book, I'm sure you've heard me mention this before, but I push this anytime I can. If you want to learn about Van Halen, specifically the David Lee Roth era, a dude who managed Van Halen from 1978 until 1985, I can't think of his name now. Monk is the last name. Monk. the dude who was their road manager from 78 to 85 wrote a book called Running with the Devil.

Some of this stuff you don't want to know, but it is so entertaining. And I felt they need to mention that because some of you might be saying, wait a minute, Eddie Van Halen, I've only known him as to be this smiling, happy guitar god. It wasn't all great. Yeah, I haven't heard anything bad, but you're right. He always had a smile. You'll like the way this wraps up now. These are the honorable mentions for biggest douchebags in music history.

You'll like the way this wraps up. Diddy and anyone in Motley crew. You know, Tommy Lee, for whatever reason, was here quite often, it seemed, for a little bit. And he was always very pleasant. Yes, he was. I mean, like, he would hang out with anybody here. And he was a very nice guy. Nicky Six, I've never met.

him, but we've had him on the air a couple of times. He was very pleasant. Vince Neal. Also, every interaction I had with Vince, every interaction I had with Nikki and Tommy were all very pleasant. Tommy Lee was especially likable. Yeah, never met Mick Mars, unless I'm forgetting something. Yeah, I haven't either. Yeah, our interactions were good with those three guys, Nikki, Vince, and Tommy, but we all know the rest of the story. Same dong as my twin brother, Jesus, said, what's the rudest guest you guys have ever had on the show? Rude. The word is rude.

We've been pretty lucky. That's a good question. You might have to let us think about that. The only one I can think of, and rude is probably a strong word, just uninterested and rude in the way that didn't put in an effort. And it pains me to say it because I think he's a very funny guy, Jack Black. Yeah, I like him too. Nacho Libre is one of my favorite movies.

The guy's brilliant. Yeah, I think he's great. But he was a total dick bag when we had him on the telephone years ago. He made it known he wasn't interested. Yeah. Oh, you know what? Maynard from Tool. Yeah, he was a dick.

I'm not going to say he's a dick, but he was to us. He had no interest. And I get it. Rob Zombie. Yeah, that's another good one. He was a douchebag. The only time I've ever heard Rob Zombie interested in an interview is like Howard Stern. You know, I mean, Howard Stern arguably is a bigger star than a lot of the guests he has on.

and he's very tight with Howard Stern. He's very likable in those interviews. But yeah, another guy that you could tell had no interest in being here. You know, in closing, I'll give you a good example of an individual who we had a certain idea as to their personality. We had a certain idea as to how much trouble we might have

interviewing them beforehand. And we were completely wrong. I didn't want to interview the guy because I had heard he was kind of a know-it-all dud, boring, and that was Lars Ulrich. He was absolutely the opposite. He was so much fun. He had a great sense of humor and was willing to talk about anything. That was one that I'll always remember walking away going,

wow, was I wrong about that guy? Yeah, there's been a couple where I think we've been quite wrong. I can't think of one, and this is silly. We really didn't want to have the thunder from down under in. I love the story. And we thought, how stupid. Why would we have those guys in? They're just going to be vapid narcissists.

They're going to have nothing to say. I wanted to be best friends with those guys. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted to follow them on tour. Can I get on the bus, boys? Those guys were awesome. We had five shirtless Australians in studio. Male strippers, they called themselves the thunder from down under.

And yeah, we thought this was going to be the most painful 10 minutes of our lives trying to pull something out of these numbsculls. They were so much fun, so clever, and they totally understood how ridiculous their gimmick is, was. That's good. So down to earth. Yep. Okay, I thought of another one, and this is a little aside from what we're talking about,

but this was fun receiving texts when we interviewed, Mickleback, Chad and his brother, and my gosh, his name is escaping me, and I'm sorry. Rinaldo. Yes, Ronaldo. That makes very Canadian name. Yeah. They are such pleasurable guys to talk to. They were great.

And they're very, another group, they're aware. They get the hate, they understand, they are used to it at this point, humble dudes. And it was great getting texts from people going, well, son of a bitch, I wanted to hate these guys, but now I can't. Yeah. Because they were so good. They were awesome. Jake the Snake, people are saying that was just a bad interview. He wasn't rude.

He just was. On pills? I don't know what was going on. Dude. He was on death's door. Yeah. Somehow made it through. Yeah, I remember meeting Nickelback backstage at the Minnesota State Fair a number of years ago.

I'd love to meet him. They were great. And me and What's His Nuts, the lead singer Chad had kind of a fun moment. He pulled me aside and he said, hey, when I addressed the crowd, should I say? Minneapolis? Should I say St. Paul? Should I say Twin Cities? I said, well, you're technically in St. Paul on the state fairground. She's, okay, okay, I'm in St. Paul. I'm going to try to remember that. But should I say St. Paul? Will the Minneapolis people be upset? Should I say twin cities? And I said, do this. I said, whenever you first addressed the crowd, just say, what's up, Green Bay? And he's like, oh, my God,

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do that. He didn't end up. That's the most Canadian thing I've ever heard, like worrying about if he's going to offend the Minneapolis people if he says St. Paul or vice versa. Yeah, you forget they're Canadian. Remember going to see a kiss show years ago where Ace Freely got on the mic and said, how's everybody in St. Louis doing tonight? And the crowd went, you son of a bitch,

we're not in St. Louis, it's St. Paul, you bastard. It happens. Somebody says, isn't the lead singer of Ghost known to be a dick? I don't think he was a dick. He was just a little too heady. You know, like, a very, very smart guy. Yeah, Dick isn't the word, but there's a word in there somewhere. He's not like the type of dude you just want to have a couple of beers with.

Like, it's kind of exhausting how smart he is. Like, you feel a little lost, I think. Yes. I agree with this from Gamer Chick, She's this. The only people who say they hate Nickelback are liars. One of the best live bands I've ever seen. They were terrific. They're very tight.

They're very awesome. Oh, wow. Billy Bob Thornton only being able to talk about his band Yes social anxiety Jesus that's right We were excited to interview Billy Bob Thornton But we could only talk about his band Those interviews are the worst And I don't know if it comes from the artist themselves

Because sometimes the people that surround him And maybe this is their job But are quite rude So we've definitely had that many many times As a matter of fact the lead singer or ghost The lady that was with him She chewed Nick out about some stupid stuff And we've had that before

Where something wasn't said perfectly It's usually the handlers, right, Josh? Yeah, and maybe it comes from the artist, but oftentimes the artist is pretty cool. I think the handlers just want to feel that power. Yes, they do. One of the times when we talk to Maynard from Tool, most notably, folks know him from that,

we couldn't mention that. We could only mention Pusufor because he was promoting that band. So we couldn't say, hey, Maynard, who you know from a perfect circle and Tool, we could only refer to him as that. And somebody told us, you know, he's got this vineyard, and he absolutely loves talking about wine. And we thought, well, that seems like a boring topic. Can't bring that up.

But we were getting nothing from him. We brought up wine and he perked up and then eventually he was talking. Oh, wow. Get that one thing he's interested and then all of a sudden he's good to go. Duck butter Jesus wants to know if Bruce Dickinson is on the list for douchebag rock stars. No. And I can't imagine how we would be. Me neither.

But then again, I'm only basing my personal experience. the guy. And in our personal experience with Bruce Dickinson, he's been nothing but wonderful. Is he a bit of a combative guy? Will he tell you his opinion and be very adamant about it? Absolutely. Bruce Dickinson is a hard-headed individual, no question about it. But in our experience, he was great. Would you agree that, again, our experience, the bigger the star, usually the nicer the person they are? Maybe they have less to prove. Usually, yeah, usually, yes, the younger artists, the younger bands, they want to make a name for themselves.

And they'll easily step on a radio host, Dick, in order to get that notoriety. Yes. I understand. They don't want to do it. I mean, some of them, we had a promotions director many, many years ago, and her theory was probably correct. And she was plugged into all this stuff. I mean, shoot, her boyfriend was in a lot of these bigger bands as a guitar player,

incredible guitar player and even a better person. But she said a lot of those bands think, you know, they grew up hearing stories about Ozzie and Motley crew, how they'd be trashing hotel rooms and stuff and thought, well, this is what I need to do now. Now we're semi-successful at this point. We kind of have to act like these guys. Yeah. And the rumors they've heard. So maybe it was put on.

They want to be in all the papers for, oh, my God, they tore up their hotel room. They were drunk at a radio station. They want to build up that rep. Small D. Big Dreams Jesus wants to end this conversation. on a terrible note. Oh, no. He does. And you know what?

You want to start trouble? Small D. Big Dreams Jesus. You got it. We're having a great time talking back and forth, sharing all these great stories. You want to ruin it? It's all you.

We're friends. We're here for your complaints. He texted in to say, Joan Jett has a bad reputation. You friggin' prick. Oh, my gosh. She does. Ruin it for everybody.

He says. Joan Jett has a pause, bad reputation. I love it. And he's right. Today is Wednesday. We'll get a hold of Randy Schaver and Brad Ryder a little bit later. You know, they're going to want to talk about that NBA draft. Oh, boy.

And it ain't even over yet, Josh. There's a robot in there somewhere. Can you get one more time? All over the place there. It's a very interesting soundbite. We'll take a break. We'll get to the stupid news here in a few minutes. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life.

Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back.

With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work, and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints. You need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today.

763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. This isn't your average podcast. You like party? This is full send. Join the party. So you guys launched the NELKlove Island.

Congrats boys. Who's that? Production, dude. Like five years ago, we could do that easily. And it'd be crazy when we're partying, but when you're like in your 30s a little bit. Well, that's why you barely show up to set, day two. Just a few hours of tardy. Steinie wanted to be the host to be the host.

It's like, why didn't you let me be the host? It's like, bro, you showed up six hours late every day. I had a girlfriend. The Full Send podcast, follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. Paul's Mahoney. We've got lots to cover here, Covey. Busy day.

Well, yeah. And we've discussed some very, very. important topics already it's only 630 so before we get into the stupid news report which I think I have set aside here somewhere honest to God where is it oh here it is okay before we get into the report I got to address some of these text messages because as I said we've we've covered some very important topics one of the subjects we covered someone put together a list of the biggest douchebags in the history of the music industry. You had your

Gene Simmons, you had your kid rock, you had your other characters like that. One of the musicians, rock stars that made the list was old Fred Durst from the limp biscuit act. And someone texted in

to say, you'd be crabby too. You'd be a dick too if your ass was raw. Oh, that's because he had a chainsaw. Yeah, that's what got that ass raw. He sings about it a lot. The chain of saw turned his ass raw. Here's another listener looking to start trouble.

He says, rumor has it, Steve Martin is a jerk. Genius. Now, Lionel Richie was nowhere near this list of the biggest douchebags in the music industry because Lionel Richie is anything but a difficult person, anything but an a-hole or a prick or a douchebag. Worst thing I could say about him is his daughter's kind of annoying. Oh. Lionel is one of the finest human beings we've ever been blessed to know.

A listener texted me this morning and said, hey, look, I'm taking my dad to see the Lionel Richie show tonight. He wanted to know if I was going. Unfortunately, no, I had an opportunity, but it's a school night tonight. I don't go out. None of us go out very often on school nights to see. live shows, of course, with the exception of bands like Mr. Big. But anyway, no, I'm very jealous of you.

You and your dad are going to have a wonderful time. Now, we just, Josh and I wanted to give this guy a sneak preview. I don't think he'll perform this song tonight, but one of me and Cubby's favorites that he ever did with the Commodores was a song called, Oh No. I want you to want me. I'm going crazy knowing. He will be a lover tonight.

And when he comes, I'll let you go. I'll just pretend that you walk out of the door. Come on, baby. Here it comes. Oh, it's sleep. Give it to me, Lionel. What you want? I want to be his little spoon, and I want him to sing that in my ear.

Too. Maybe, maybe. He'll play, oh no, by the Commodores. I was looking up tickets. You can get in for $27. That's not bad at all. Nowadays, that's like half the fees of what they usually check. I spend $30 on a movie ticket on Saturday.

That's unbelievable. I know. You can go see Lionel the night for $27. $27. There's a little something. Maybe you'll get lucky, and he'll play, oh, no. Well, if you go to Lionel's show, you're going to get lucky. I think that was the last charting single he made with the Commodores

before he left the group. Now, Dana has been invited this weekend to join the celebration taking place in Henderson, Minnesota, Sourcrowt Days. We were talking about Dana's got lots going on the next couple of days. Tomorrow he's hosting a jackass movie screening in Plymouth. Friday night he's going to Treasure Island for the Stone Temple Pilots concert, and then someone texted in and said, well, while Dana's out and about, send his carcass to Henderson for what they call sourcrow days,

there's going to be a sourcrow eating contest Sunday. There will be no survivors. If you see it in a place where there's condiments for Broughtwurst, do you put sauerkraut on that son of a gun? Yes. Me too. I don't, as you know, I don't like a lot of sauces and all that unnecessary high-maintenance garbage.

I don't put... High-maintenance. That's for high-maintenance people. Oh, you're so pretty. You are a pretentious high-maintenance individual. Oh, sourcrow's not good enough for this guy. If you need to decorate your hamburger and your hot dog and your bratwurst with, oh, I've got ketchup and mustard. You are high-maintenance.

What about diced up onions? See, Josh, that's different. That's where I'm going with this. I don't consider things like sauerkraut and onions. I don't put them in the same category as ketchup and relish and all this. It's different. Snot that people put on their food, these hot. maintenance people. So yes, if there's a brot stand and they're selling them, hot out the barrel,

sure, I put some crowd on that pig. Now, we've gotten way more text messages on sourcrow days than I expected. One of our listeners says this, and I'll be damned. He says, his mother-in-law was the sauerkraut queen of Henderson in 1948. Really? That's awesome. If you're from Henderson, Josh, I bet that's when you know you're above the law, when you are Sourcrowt King or Queen. Now, Saturday night in Henderson, people are telling me, there's a free wrestling show as part of Sourcrowt days. Did they say who it is? Yes. M.I.W. Wrestling Saturday night in Henderson.

I looked up the card, and there's a few familiar names. Number one, El Banio. I've seen El Banyo perform before. What's his gimmick? El Banyo. He's like potty humor? He's a large dude. All I really remember is that his name is El Banyo,

which I believe stands for the toilet. I believe that the translation is... Mexican for bathroom, is it now? I believe so. Who else is in here? I mean, I guess I'm not terribly familiar with this cast, but I've been a little out of touch with the wrestling scene for a while. Heavy metal lore sounds familiar.

As a matter of fact, I think I know that guy, but I can't be 100% sure. Some of the names are just great. Josh, performing in Henderson this weekend as part of the M.I.W. Rassling show. The pro who runs the show. Kyle Pro. There's Canadian strong man Rob Stardom. stardom.

So far, these names are great. And all those other characters. That's great. A local wrestling show? There's nothing better. No. I wish I could remember the name of this group. It might have been iron something.

I saw these guys perform in Rosemont, and they were awesome. Really, really talented. A lot of fun. Nothing better than that local wrestling show. We got a lot of great options around here. All right. And before we get on to the stupid news, a listener is texted in to say,

They make sure Dana shows up next weekend to the pie eating contest at Hogbauer Automotive, Third Avenue in Main Street. If you're there, and as you know, our program today is brought to you by Hogbauer Automotive. As it is every day. If you go to the pie eating contest next weekend, of course, say hi to the namesake of the joint Donnie Hogbauer, who inherited the place from his folks. They're both dead now. And, of course, his best worker there, tiny.

Mm-hmm. The piding contest. All these invitations for Dana came up because Dana's got a busy week starting tomorrow night. Right. That's right. hosting a jackass premiere and wood, or excuse me, what's that town called? Plymouth. Plymouth.

You can register to win tickets to 93X.com. It's going to be a lot of fun. We're going to pack the house and laugh our asses off at grown men, hurry to themselves for our amusement. It's a beautiful thing. And then Friday night, what do you got? Friday night, we're going to be down at Treasure Island. and hosting a pretty cool concert.

It's going to be a lot of fun. A lot of nostalgia, bands that I kind of grew up with back in the day, like Stone Temple Pilots, Hubistank. So I'm pretty pumped about that. Come say hi. I'll be emceeing, hosting a pre-party. You're going to need some gas money.

Yeah, you're not kidding. You've got some driving going on. You're not kidding. Maybe I'll hop in with the promotions, guys. But you didn't mean not to Jesus text in, Nick, and says, you ever hear of someone putting mayonnaise on a brat? I work with a guy who swears by it. We don't talk to him anymore.

Yeah, good. I just don't know what I do. do with all the vomit. I haven't seen that. I don't know what I would do with all the. Yeah, that's gross, man. All right. Here's a guy who wants to get argumentative with me. He says, so Nick will spend a couple of minutes chopping up onions for his brat, but won't spend 10 seconds to throw some mustard on it, because that's too high maintenance. Chopping onions. Where do you think I'm an amateur? I don't make my own brots. I go and buy him from some dude at a stand. I'm not chopping up my own onions.

What do you think you're dealing with a rookie? I like chopping onions. You enjoy that process. Yeah, like chopping stuff's kind of fun. I mean, every once in a while it's going to get your eyes, but it is fun to chop. And again, and also, this guy must not have been listening. Don't confuse my stance on all those disgusting sauces and whatnot that people put on their food. I have no negative thoughts or statements on must-

on a hot dog or a brought worse. Love mustard. It's ketchup that I take a stance against. So before you text in again, maybe listen a little bit. You know, open your ears and your mind. I used to have, I was quite a connoisseur of mustards for a while. They were right.

Oh, is that right? That's correct. I had a variety of mustard. Let's say I had two hot dogs, and usually that's how it'll go, at least two. They're going to have two different kinds of mustard. Oh, I didn't know you're a fancy boy. Yeah, one of them has one kind, one of them is another. kind, the spicy mustard? That's the stuff.

That's the stuff. Somebody wants to lady and the tramp a brat worst with you, Dana. Okay. You down? Yeah, sure. Who's on the other end of that, some bitch? Well, we both be on one end. The same end? Whoever it is would be on one end, I'd be on the other. Well, that's what I mean. Who's on the other end?

It doesn't matter. I wouldn't agree to that until I see what's headed my way. Brought's a brat. God save us all. We're starting the stupid news with a real situation. A man in California, this man has seen horrors that most of us could never imagine. Horrors, Josh. I don't like the start of this.

The kind that put a smooth chill. The kind that will put a chill up and down your spine. New guys in the corner. He's puking his gut. out. This guy lived through the horrors. But my question would be, what kind of life can he lead from now on? What kind of life? Dude fell ass over Applecart all the way down to the bottom of a campground toilet. Gosh, you know, if you're going to put together a top five of the worst toilets to fall in,

campground toilet is going to be on that top five. Has to be. So now you know what I'm saying. Yes. I mean, you almost died falling into some sort of manure pit, right? And sadly, you hear stories where it just overwhelms people. Yeah, when I was a kid, I fell into the trough at a cattle, at a dairy farm. Big old trough in the middle of the barn where the cows spray their liquefied feces,

and the trough is meant to catch all of it. It was a good foot deep, maybe more, and I fell smooth into the sunbitch when I was a little kid, up to my armpits. You hear about the fumes just knocking folks out. Oh, my God. It's no way to go. Just take me out and stab me to death. Well, maybe I'm already dead.

Just stab me. That's what I want people to remember me by getting stabbed, not drowning in turds. So this guy lived. He did. But what kind of life can he really have after this in a place called Shaver Lake, California? Dude was a trying to fetch his sunglasses from that campground crapper. And there he went all the way down. The landing was terrible.

head first, face first. His mouth was open. It's probably inevitable. You're going to get some in there. He landed on top of years and years worth of soft, cold, wet human stool, gallons and gallons of urine, the smell, the taste. And there was no climbing out of there. She was too deep and dark.

There's not a breath mint strong enough. I would just, I would let it go. I mean, sunglasses seems like a strange thing to be that passionate about retrieving, unless there's some sort of sentimental value to them. You know, maybe it was just like a knee-jerk reaction. That's my guess. Reaction. Yeah, that's probably how he lost his balance.

He just kind of went for it. Yes. Before he had time to think. Right. He started distinct. Because you're right, sunglasses. Who cares? I can go to the gas station and pick myself up a new pair for $7. I bet it was, I mean, you know the story about me, Josh, when I was an 18, 19-year-old kid working at a factory,

these big massive vats with these big steel spindles. And it was meant to mix up batches of ceiling texture and wall texture. That's what we made at this factory. I love that job, just for the record. But I'm pouring all of the dry ingredients into this huge vat about the size of a minivan. and mixing it with water. That's how we made this stuff. And one of the paper bags with the dry ingredients fell into the mixer as it's spinning.

And I reached for it, which was just so dumb. I mean, I can fix that problem later. A paper bag got into the vat. I can turn the machine off, I could have, and find that, you know, bag and pull it up. But I reach for it just out of instinct while the mixer was spinning. and just for a split second, that mixer grabbed the sleeve of my hooded sweatshirt. And I came very close to being pulled in and crushed to death by that mixer because of a paper bag. That still haunts me.

But I pulled back, and luckily my hoodie gave way. That instant reaction thing, I mean, I know exactly what you're talking about because I had that, too, there was a circle saw. saw, it skipped on some concrete and we had like a diamond blade on it. And so it shot out from the guy that was holding it, and I went to catch it. Oh, no. Just it was an instant reaction. And thank goodness, I'm not athletic because I didn't get anywhere near it, really. Well, I take that back.

I was pretty close to it. And I almost lost an arm. And I felt like the world's biggest dummy. Yeah, again, you were just reacting. So here's the guy, again, falls. dispersed all the way down to the bottom of a campground toilet. People are texting in saying if it wasn't an instant reaction, maybe they were prescription and so they were expensive.

I mean, I guess I just recently got some prescription glasses and they were pretty spendy. There was no climbing out of there. He was too deep. He called out for help. His voice, of course, muffled by the feces-soaked toilet paper that was draped. across his face. Somebody heard him.

The damn local firehouse rescue team had to be called on over. They say the poor guy was falling in and out of consciousness by the time the rescue team showed up. He was able to communicate with them. But then his head would drop down into the thick, cold, brown liquid mud for a few seconds before he'd come to again. He was falling in and out of consciousness. The crew was able to wrap a line around his carcuit.

and haul them out. When he was above ground, the grotesque state that the man was in was more than most folks could take. I mentioned the new guy. I was just going to ask, did some of the veterans even have a tough time with that? Yes, they did.

It wasn't just the new guy puking his guts out in a corner. It wasn't over yet for the campground toilet man. It says here they had to decontaminate him. And I'm not sure what that involves. Maybe it's just a hose with some cold water. I don't know, but they had to. I'd offer some steel wool. I want all of that off.

They had to pin him down and decontaminate him. Says here, poop and pee campground toilet man, didn't suffer any terrible injuries. And he was able to walk away from the incident and back to his campsite where I'm sure, Josh, nobody he was staying with had anything to say about what had just happened. Yeah, that's never... I'm sure he didn't get any comments from his...

No. No. Luckily, that's something. People are going to forget. You know, the news cycle. Some will come up. They're never going to remember that. Some of any news going to fall in the next day anyway. Rick Shaw, Jesus says the only way you can contaminate something like that is with a flamethrower.

That's about it. Possible. Steel wool, flame thrower, ammonia. Lots of showers. Lava, hand soap, a couple of showers. Oh, I'd be brushing my teeth over and over and over again. Because they say he went ass over apple cart. He was heading down to the bottom of that toilet, head full.

first, like a friggin, like a dart. And his mouth first. That's how he went in. Probably a little screaming. He couldn't put his arms out to brace himself because he was just aiming straight downward. Maybe he had a poop kink, a listener says. No, he did not.

If there's a silver and brown lining, I would hope that was it. Did he get his sunglasses, somebody wants to know? No, he did not. He never got them back. They're in with the poop and the pee. Maybe some sunglasses company will reach out and offer him an endorsement or something. Oh, good call. Yeah, nowadays, I can imagine.

Those kind of things happen. All right. Oh, again, the time has escaped us much quicker than I thought it would, but we were talking about this, that we were singing Lionel Richie song. Here's a guy we meant to get to yesterday, but we ran out of time. We're kind of forming a bad habit here with the stupid news report. But that's okay. we're just talking you know how we get when we start talking oh yeah we wanted to talk about we wanted to talk about this little prick yesterday we didn't get to it i got to get get on it now

um an entitled young fella from out there in thailand 29 years old living with his mommel and that might explain some of the things i'm about to tell you the kid wet his pants big time from what i understand dude had a hellacious argument with his mom He was so mad. He got into his car and drove his car into a swimming pool. He and his mother lived together at some fancy schmancy condominium, and he had himself a nice car, too. This was no garbage pile. This was a nice-looking little SUV kind of a thing. There's video of the aftermath of the car setting in the pool. The pool he drove the car into was some nice-looking public pool in his neighborhood.

Isn't that great? It's a little jag-off rich kid, gets mad at his mama. and he ruins the pool for everyone in the neighborhood. He made it everybody else's problem. So apparently he and his likely enabling mother were arguing over monies, something about splitting the rent in that condo that they shared or something stupid like that. And the bitchy little entitled kid, his reaction was to get in the car, drive it into a pool. He did injure himself, which is hilarious, but he was able to swim out the car as it sunk to the bottom of the pool. no one else was hurt, which was lucky for the dude.

Yeah, really lucky. Because it wasn't as if he took a real, I saw the video. It wasn't as if he took a good look around to make sure no one else was in the pool or sitting by the pool. He just gunned it and went smooth in there. He could have easily killed some old timers. You know how they like to do laps in the pool, the old timers. I don't think there was any way he could see what was going on in there. No.

He just went through a bunch of bushes. Lots of social media dorks have chimed in on this nonsense and they made some solid points. Whatever little amount of money he and his moms were arguing about doesn't mean Dick now. They're out one car. The car's done. And God knows what all this is going to cost him once the local courthouse gets a hold of them. You've mentioned before you had a friend who would have temper tantrums through his parents. I only really have one.

And ironically enough, they were one of the closest families. I mean, he was so close to his parents to the point where he got tattoos to represent both of them. Well, they were alive. You know, it wasn't like after they had passed. But he was very close, and they were awesome, awesome people. But my goodness, I've never met anybody who treated their parents worse. And a lot of these babyish temper tantrums over the most minor things. Yeah.

Sounds like your buddy was similar. Oh, my pal. I guess I don't know how close the family was. No, they were very close. And his parents were great people, the one pal I'm referring to here. But he was just a temperamental kid. And he, when he wanted something, he expected everything. he expected it right now.

What's he like now because my friend is so laid back at this point. You can't even equate the two as the same person. Oh, this guy still runs pretty hot. Yeah, he still runs hot. I mean, I had a lot of temper tantrums when I was a kid, but usually they weren't directed at my parents. They were usually directed at my siblings or someone else, you know, someone from the neighborhood, a classmate.

I left my parents out of it, usually, because, I mean, they had enough frigging problems. They didn't need me kicking a hole in the wall. And that was the thing about this pal of mine, is if his parents didn't get him what he wanted, when he wanted it, he would kick a effing hole in the wall. But with all that said, hanging out at his house was the coolest experience of my youth. We had so much fun at his folks' place. Every once in a while, yeah, he would have a meltdown and it would be embarrassing and stupid. But his folks were the effing greatest.

They still are. Well, one of them is gone now, but I love hanging out over there. So anyway, this kid, his kid's been labeled as an entitled little prick with anger issues, and it certainly came off that way. They're saying this kid comes off like he has 29 years old, by the way, if I didn't mention that. He has the emotional maturity of an 8-year-old, and that's exactly what he showed. You just got to hope, and, you know, a lot of these stories, that they realize, oh, my gosh. Hopefully, when he's older.

It was so stupid. It's stupid to say. when he's older. He's 29 F and years old. But hopefully there is one day where he looks back and goes, I really got into a car and drove it into a pool because I couldn't agree with my mother. That's pathetic. Yeah, it is pathetic. That's very good pathetic.

Sports on the 93-X half-assed morning show. In a half hour, less than a half hour. Well, I don't know. Somewhere's in that neighborhood. Randy Schaever and Brad Ryder will be jumping in on the program with us. We can talk about last night's National Basketball Association draft. I did watch a little bit of it. I'm mostly unfamiliar. Yeah, I mean.

Is that the one you will watch? No, there is no draft that I enjoy, but I did flip on and watch a little bit of the draft. I don't have any excuses or reasoning behind it. I just... Give me an excuse. Yeah, I don't know. Explain yourself.

No, no, I don't normally enjoy drafts at all. The guy broke into his house, but a gun to his head and said, you're going to watch the NBA draft, son. That's probably what it would take if it was the NFL. Yeah. Is someone breaking into the house. I did watch some of it,

but it's just different. now. I'm mostly unfamiliar with these kids. I had heard of the guy who went number one. I don't have his name in front of me now. We'll have to cover that later with the fellers, but, you know, the twins weren't doing too great, so I was bouncing around. We'll get to that. Timberwolves didn't have a pick in that opening round because of that Julius Randall trade. They'll pick tonight in the second round, a couple of times from what I understand. So you've got that excitement waiting for you, Josh. I'm looking forward to it.

And the twins got pumped. Twins got pumped. We won't talk too much about the twins just yet because it aggravates some people and I have a statement to make on that later. Again, when Randy and Brad come along. So yeah, NBA draft, twins got whooped, but there's much, much more to cover at 7.30.

We'll take a little bit quick break. When we return, Josh will get into his news report. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at Standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait.

Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make. you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints,

you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410

or go to Bialki law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. One night with Stine. One night with Stiney. Shout out. Full Send, no. Hey, bro.

What's your name, bro? We've been sitting here for like an hour together. I know your name. What's your name, though? Funny. I can't guarantee anything. All I can guarantee is that you're going to be entertained. I'm a professional.

I'm here to interview. So the whole interview, you can ask me what I like better, Burger King and McDonald's. All right, and we are going to wrap up on that note. Thank you, Steve, so much. Sarker King. One Night with Steinie? One Night with Stiney.

Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Half-assed Morning Show. They are in an alternate reality than ours. They are in that rock and roll rock reality. They surround themselves with these professional dickheads. I'm not even really sure if they're aware. I don't think they're aware of how much they suck. 93X rocks.

She pointed a gun at me. The stepdad, he poured a knife on me. A Florida mother and stepfather, learned an important lesson about jumping to conclusions right after they jumped a teenager. The pair went into vigilante mode after their 15-year-old daughter came home from an all-night party. Oh, an all-night party, you say? At 15? She didn't have permission.

Oh. They were convinced the person dropping her off was an adult. But there was just one problem. He wasn't. The incident unfolded around 3 p.m. Sunday in Deltona. 45-year-old Rosa Lamort Tiru and 61-year-old Lance Melanis, who obviously don't mind a relationship age gap, were actually the first ones to call police.

They claimed their 15-year-old daughter had been gone all night and was dropped off by a man. You cannot go, Rosa told the driver while she was on the phone with dispatchers. The cops are coming, she said. The cops did come. Unfortunately for the couple, police say they left out a few key details. like assaulting the driver and damaging his vehicle. They also apparently failed to notice the so-called man

was only 15 years old exactly the same age as their daughter. Beating up a minor. They mistook him for an adult? Yeah, he must have looked pretty old. Well, yeah, I mean, we all grew up with a couple of those kids, right? Oh, gosh, there's a kid on my 14-year-old's basketball team. He looks older than I do. I mean, as far as like, beer.

and muscles and yeah, he looks like an adult. Every class has got a few of those. Poor luck, bad luck for this gal that she was dropped off. Well, bad luck that her mom and her mom's boyfriend sound like they're little nuts, but also bad luck that the character that drops her off looks 35 years old. The teen told investigators he just pulled into the girl's driveway

to drop her off when a white van blocked him in. The stepfather got out holding a metal pipe. When the teen rolled down his window, he started smashing the roof at the teen's car. Jesus. Then he held a knife to the teen's neck. Meanwhile, mom wasn't exactly playing peacemaker. Police say she was waving a gun around during the confrontation. Jeez, Louise.

Eventually, the stepfather moved the van and the teen was able to leave. So he went and met his mom at a nearby gas station where she called 911. Two adults assaulted my son. He's 15. He's a minor. and pulled a gun and a knife on him and damaged a vehicle. The teen said he feared for his life during the encounter. His mom estimated the damage to the vehicle at roughly $4,000.

The judge took one look at the situation and apparently decided the couple's talent for identifying adults wasn't strong enough to earn them a trip home, so they were denied bail. Now the couple is facing charges, including aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated child abuse. I'm kind of surprised that this gun-toting pipe-swinging couple would be so stiff and stern on the thought of their daughter staying out all night, right? Yeah, I think any parent would be concerned, certainly, and then definitely if you see what looks like a grown man dropping off your 15-year-old daughter. But, yeah, they went a little extra on that. Usually it's, you know, the more straight-laced parents who are so wildly upset over their kids staying out all night. the pipe swinging gun-toting couple, you'd think they'd say, hey, how was your night?

You know what I mean? The dad, as he's being arrested, he's like, hey, listen, I know you guys are here on our side, but can you explain to me why you're putting guffs on? And then they're saying, yeah, don't worry, we'll get to that situation. But pulled the knife, put it up to this kid's neck. They're in some serious trouble. It ain't right. A Twin Cities man must have thought the old saying was,

when a kid hands you a lemonade, you hand them a gun. Because according to prosecutors, that's pretty much what happened. Police say two kids, ages 11 and 13, were running a lemonade stand at Lakefront Park and Prior Lake when a man wandered up and tried to pay with what appeared to be a counterfeit $100 bill. According to prosecutors, the 23-year-old was really committed to making a memorable first impression on a pair of middle school entrepreneurs because that's when the grown man allegedly decided he really wanted to wow the tweens.

The kid said the man pulled out a black bag, showed them a handgun, and allegedly handed the gun to them, let him play with it, and then took it back and walked away. When questioned by police, he said he was at the park to meet a girl and had bought lemonade from the kids,

but he denied having a handgun on him, or even in his vehicle. Officers noticed a female passenger in the truck and spotted an open package of marijuana in the front seat as she got out. A search of the vehicle turned up a handgun, inside a black bag, which the kids described perfectly and shocked absolutely nobody. He was arrested at the scene.

Crazy local guy who wants to impress the nine-year-olds. Yeah, I know. That's always, that amazes me. I'm shocked, so he actually was at the park to meet a girl. I guess so. Yeah, there was a girl in the vehicle. I thought that had to be a BS story. And it appeared willingly, she was with it. Willingly. Several people in an Oregon neighborhood are concerned after their neighbor threatened people

with a variety of weapons, saying his behavior forced them to change their routines and even keep their kids indoors. The man in question, a 40-year-old resident, has developed a habit of confronting neighbors with sharp objects. In one memorable moment at a local business, he produced a knife and posed what was likely a rhetorical question. Do you want to get stabbed? Do you? Oh. Do you want to die today, he asked. He got no takers. A bystander attempted a bit of blade-based bargaining,

then tried to disarm the man who was holding both a knife and a stun baton. The man responded by chasing the witness with both implements, with the bystander sprinting back towards his apartment, reconsidering the benefits of community engagement, no doubt. The confrontation ended in an unexpected way. The man's demeanor suddenly shifted, and the two men ended the strange encounter, even stranger, with diplomacy and a high five.

Then just one day after the celebratory slapping of palms, residents in another neighborhood reported a man aiming a bow and arrow at various people in homes. Police later identified the archer as the same individual who brandished the same medieval style equipment about a week earlier. Minutes after a deputy responded to that call and left the area, dispatchers received yet another report. A woman said her neighbor, again the same man, expanded his already ample arsenal from knives and arrows to the press. a proud American automobile, attempting to hit her with his vehicle. Days later, police responded to a report that a man had fired some shots. When cops arrived, police said he was high and naked. They said the man's erratic and violent behavior was likely driven by psychedelic mushrooms

and his wife filing for divorce. Damn. His wife had kicked him out of the house, he can understand. He responded by breaking down the door and throwing a book at her, which the judge is expected to throw right back. back at him in court. This guy, huh? He's got all the cool toys.

Sound here. Somewhere a library is missing their masturbator. Yeah, he's going to be gone for a little while. Some guys take rejection in stride. Others take it to Walmart with a knife. About 40 security guards were headed home to Louisiana, working the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival in Tennessee. It should have been a routine ride back.

Instead, a brewing feud between 35-year-old Pierre Eskew and a 22-year-old coworker Daryl Sutton wrote along with them. The bad blood centered on a female coworker who had rejected Eskew's romantic advances. The dispute had reportedly been simmering for a few hours, possibly days, police said. Apparently, she's not interested remained a difficult concept for the guy to process. Romantic advances, you called it. Yeah, she was not interested. Last Monday, the charter bus pulled into an Alabama Walmart for a snack break, but Eskew had something else in mind.

When the bus stopped at the Walmart, things between Sutton and Eskew went askew. In what appears to have been the world's least mature response to rejection, he handled being kicked out with all the maturity of a toddler being told the toy aisle is closed. Eskew pulled a knife as an effie. He stabbed Sutton and injured three others in the surprise attack. Oh, he got all stabby. Yeah. And the gal that rejected his romantic advances, she was there or not?

Not. She was not there. There were a bunch of security guards coming back from the concert, and apparently he and this other guy didn't like each other. Gotcha. It's always disappointing when someone else gets the promotion you were hoping for. Most people update their resume, complain to a friend, or spend a few days being grumpy about it.

But one Missouri man chose a path that was unlikely to impress management. 32-year-old Javon Mallory was arrested after police were called to the deli where he worked. According to a criminal complaint, an employee was in an office at the back of the restaurant about 10.30 a.m. When Mallory entered and locked the door behind him, he told his coworker he was there to kill. Police said that Mallory had applied for a promotion but was passed over in favor of the same co-worker he attacked. In retrospect, the selection committee appears to have made the correct call on the guy, because what happened next did little to strengthen his appeal. According to the complaint, the restaurant's general manager heard the commotion coming from behind the closed door and quickly unlocked it.

Once inside, the manager saw Mallory release the victim. The manager then locked Mallory in the office and called police. That was easy. Yeah. When officers spoke with him, he told them the promotion he didn't receive set him off. And it made him, quote, angry at his co-worker. As it turns out, this wasn't Mallory's first attempt to build a resume in the field of strangulation. He pleaded guilty to assault in 2014 for strangling another victim and was sentenced

to 10 years in prison in that case. That incident really made me aware of how defenseless I am. And it doesn't matter how much security you have in a place. I don't think that was at fault at all there. Strangulation was another category where Mallory failed to meet expectations, as thankfully he sucked at that too. Both victims survived their encounters with his grip. give this guy a promotion next time. Geez, yeah, he was not going to put up with that whatsoever. If your name is Ryan, Destiny has called. And apparently it wants you on a roller coaster.

One month from today, July 24th, the Mall of America and Ryan Meetup are inviting people named Ryan to ride the Ryan coaster, rides spelled RYD-E. The festivities begin at 6.30 p.m. when a remarkable concentration of Rions will gather in the Huntington Bank Rotunda temporarily rebranded as the Rye Tunda that day. Isn't this hilarious? I do like it. From there, the Ryan's whole march. They're going to go to the Pepsi Orange Streak roller coaster in Nickelodeon Universe with a singular mission. Break the world record for the most people with the same name riding a roller coaster together.

It's a highly specific achievement, but somebody named Ryan had to do it. The event is hosted by Ryan Meetup, a not-for-profit group dedicated to connect. people named Ryan with other people named Ryan. It's an important cause. Some organizers build bridges between communities. This one builds bridges between Ryan's. And the Ryanarchy doesn't stop there. The next day brings the Ryan baseball classic at Target Field.

For God's sake. Featuring a Ryan pregame event at Cowboy Jacks, a parade of Rions before the twins play the athletics, and the promise of more Ryan fun throughout the game. By the end of the two-day celebration, Minnesota could become the unofficial capital of Rions, a place where Rians finally rally, ride, and Rome in record-setting numbers. I wonder how many Rians they're actually going to get. I mean, would you go to a Josh day at the Mall of America?

I would not. Yeah. Why not? I'd feel like I was a douche and the other Joshes deserve better. I wouldn't want to bring down the curve there. Would you go to a Dana Day? It would be like me and two other dudes there. Yeah, so you better.

Yeah. Good odds. Uh-huh. A couple of movies make their transition from the big screen to the flat screen today. The Disney Plus streaming premiere of Avatar, Fire, and Ash. And on Prime Video, The Sheep Detectives. The Sheep. You got your sheep.

Detectives? Yeah, I believe. I'll be. I heard it was good. Starlight on Amazon's The Boys. Aaron Moriarty is 32 today. Also celebrating a birthday today. This guy.

back here. Let's see run. Messy! Messy scores the goal to make it. That's how you score a World Cup record setting goal, not from the penalty spot. That is typical Messi. Magnificent. And he now has more goals, the Miroslav closer and more goals than any

other player to play in a World Cup finals tournament. Lytle Messi, who set a World Cup record scoring his 17th and 18th goals and a 2-0 win over Austria over the weekend is 39. Busy wee for that guy. What the birthday and Birthday, record.

Scoring a breaking world records. Kelly Kapoor, on the office, Mindy Kaling, 47, and original Robocop Hottie Peter Weller, 79. Happy birthday to my guy, Ben. I throw dodge balls at kids for a living Jesus, text in a happy 21st birthday for the 32nd time to his mom. Happy birthday to Mrs. Team Busted Jesus from Wake and Bake Sheezus, and that's 93X News. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder. on the half-ass morning show

I'll F me running the midweek show that's what we're up against and we've got Randy and friggin' Brad here to help us out hi guys good morning good morning do you want to fall down and touch yourself right away

over that National Basketball Association draft sure not in particular but sure and it ain't over yet there's more tonight NBA draft fever around here. No kidding. Everybody's pumped. There's more tonight.

You know, my problem is I'm just not terribly familiar with these kids like I was years ago. I actually watched it from start to finish last night. God dang, you're a tough individual. Well, I just have a lot of interest in it. I don't know. You do? I do. Oh, well, that's great.

Someone's got to. Yeah, I just find it interesting. And I was waiting for some trades to happen. and there were a few, nothing big. Yeah, nothing thrilling on the trade side of things just yet. Actually pretty quiet last night, but yeah, I mean, you know, DeBonce is going to be a really good player. And if Washington gets those two veteran guys,

Trey Young and Anthony Davis to play at the level that they're capable, they could be an interesting team. I thought the most, to me, the most interesting, interesting conversation was actually with Adam Silver before the thing even started. Oh, yeah. What do he say? Just talking about how this is the last year of the weighted lottery and how teams talking about the motivation of playing and wanting to win every night as opposed to what we saw this last season. Okay, so the anti-tanking rules are going to make the draft a little different next year. Well, it's going to make how.

you approach the draft and how you think about it different because losing doesn't guarantee you anything. In fact, it's probably counteractive to getting a better pick. So if that holds, and if teams and players and general managers all believe that, we should see a change in just the attitude of how teams approach the last half of the season next year, which I think is good for the game. It's good for the fans, and it's definitely good for the games. Okay, I'll have to see it play itself through. So will I.

Yeah, I think there are some questions about whether teams might just get mired and stuck without any hope if they're not able to get a good pick. I mean, if teams are actually trying, if they're actually trying, but they're not very good, and they're stuck in that bottom three or four for three or four years in a row, then maybe it's not quite as fair. But I would like to see it play out like you would and just to see how it works out. I think it's almost bad. It feels like it's almost worse, I should say, to end up in the middle somewhere.

Oh, for sure. Well, you're not bad enough to get really good players, but you're not good enough to be, you know, a better playoff team or even a playoff team. Yeah. And maybe this will help those teams in the middle, too. But again, I think we have to wait and see how this all plays out. Right, right.

To me, that was the most of the conversation. Clip Saunders used to say that the worst place you can be in this league is in the middle. He said you either got to be really good or you've got to be really bad. And, I mean, there's truth to that. I mean, the way it's set up now, if you're in the middle, if you're in that like maybe, I don't know, 14 to 24 range, I mean, you're kind of stuck at least for a while. But the difference, Brad, is this.

When you were stuck between 14 and 24, you didn't have, a really good chance to have a top four pick, right? There's a lottery odds stacked against you. That's different now. The lottery odds aren't going to be stacked against you. Okay. So your chances of getting one of those picks is just as good as if you finished dead last. I'll have to see this all play itself out for me to fully understand it.

But I'm happy for the change, and it sounds like you guys are excited for the change, and I do think it'll be good for the game. quoting Flip Saunders, huh? You know what Flip Saunders also must have said? I don't know this for sure. I never heard him say it. But you know what Flip Saunders must have said at one point or another in his lifetime.

What time is that WCW house show? Big fan, right? I'm sure he did. I've told you before for a stretch of about two years. Anytime me and Big Al went to go see the WCW, whether it be a house show or a televised show, we were sitting right behind Flip Saunders and the rest of the Minnesota Timberwolves.

That's awesome. If he could feel himself away from the infomercials he was watching, then he was watching it. Correct. He loved to watch infomercials? Oh, my gosh. Anything pretty interesting? I would get calls from him. I'm not joking.

I would get calls from him at 3 a.m. And he'd ask about this or that or the other thing, because he'd still be out. He wouldn't sleep. And I'd be, I'd ask when I said, what are you doing awake? And he'd describe the infomercial he was watching, and he was going to buy some contraption that he was just watching on TV. I mean, it was, yeah. So he was kind of hooked on buying things.

Oh, yeah. Buying items over the telephone. He bought more crap. He bought more crap than anybody you'd ever met. That's interesting. Like the Floby. I'm going back to the 90s here. Brad, it's called the Shamwaw.

I'm going to get you one too. Sham. Yeah, right. The Shamwau. Mm-hmm. It'd be interesting if his family ever had some kind of an estate sale or something. Maybe you could get your hands on some of these 2 AM products that Flip bought over the telephone. It would be cool to own Flip Saunders' slapchop.

Yeah. Definitely would. Yeah, he must have said, what time is the WCW show and will Stacey Keebler be there? There was one night we were there where we were sitting behind the Timberwolves, and that wasn't the best spot in the house, as you might imagine. No. Trying to watch NWO. trying to watch the characters from the NWO wrestle

while Dean Garrett is standing in front of you. Wasn't always ideal. But there was one show where at the time, Stacey Keebler, she went on to make a name for herself in the WWE as Stacey Keebler. At the time, she was working for the WCW and her stage name was Miss Hancock. Oh, yeah.

Gorgeous, long-legged blonde. I'm sure most of you can recall Stacey Cee Giebler. So Flip was seated throughout the first couple of matches until the music hit for Miss Hancock and he shot out of his chair as if his ass was on fire.

That's awesome. But they were always very friendly, you know, to sit nearby, all the Flip and the Timberwolves and Ryan as a little kid, I think. Sorry to in case folks don't know. Ryan Flip's son was a little kid at the time. He would sometimes be there.

But there was the one night where Big Al got a tap on his shoulder, and it was Wally Zerbiak. Oh, cool. And Wally said, hey, and he wasn't a dick at all. I'm not trying to drag Wally Zerbiak's name through the mud, because from what I understand, he's a very nice guy. But Wally tapped Al on the shoulder and said, hey, my teammates are sitting right in front of you here. I'm kind of like 20 rows back. Would you trade seats with me? and Big Al said, uh, no.

I don't think I would either. Not gonna. No. Wally can afford a better ticket. Well, he should have bargained some tickets to a game out of it. Uh, yeah, that was, you know, I don't think he wanted to bother us much again, because I think Wally is a nice guy. He just, he took a shot.

But Al was too interested in the card that night. Um, you mentioned last night's overall number one pick. Goes to the Washington Wizards, a kid named A.J. DeBenzza. I had heard. of him from Brigham Young. Yeah, BYU. And you reminded us yesterday that Anthony Davis, you just mentioned this a minute ago,

Anthony Davis is a member of the Washington Wizards. I had totally forgotten he existed. And you're right, if this rookie is something, and Anthony Davis can stay on the basketball court, and Trey Young can stay on the basketball court, it would be kind of fun to see the Washington Wizards become a factor again. Yeah.

Now, the Timberwolves did not have a pick in the first round. They'll make a couple of picks tonight. Well, they did. They traded out. Well, right. Because of the Julius Randall trade, the Wolves pick last night went to Brooklyn. So there you go. Do you think you'll even watch tonight, Randy?

You know, I guess I'm curious about the Wolves pick at 33. So it's like right off the top of the draft tonight. Early in the night. Yeah, I think after that I don't really have much. interest. Well, fair enough. Now, I saw something or another yesterday that discussed the NBA draft classes that turned out the most basketball Hall of Famers and who those Hall of Fame players turned out to be. Like, say, in 1985, four Hall of Famers were drafted. Patrick Ewing, Chris Mullen, Carl Malone, and Joe Dumars.

In 1984, four Hall of Famers, eventual Hall of Famers, were drafted. The greatest basketball player to ever live, Akema Lajuan, was one of those players, along with world-class prick Mike Jordan, Charles Barkley, and John Stockton. 1976 had four, Adrian Dantley,

Robert Parrish, Alex English, Dennis Johnson. 1974 had four players turn out to be Hall of Famers. Bill Walton, and I'm making the sign of the cross right now, Josh, as I say Bobby Jones. Keith Wilkes and George Gervin. Yeah, the Iceman. There are a few other draft classes from way back when, who turned out four Hall of Famers. But hell, in 19 and 96, the National Basketball Association draft pushed out five. Hall of Fame players.

Oh, yeah, that's a great draft. 19 and 96. Do you remember any of the names that eventually? Yeah, go ahead. Iverson was number one. Okay. Yes, he was eventually. Kobe Bryant was in that draft.

Yes, okay. Iverson. Kobe Bryant. Timberwolf Ray Allen. Ray Allen. Steve Nash was in that draft. Right. One more, big center with a big hairdo.

Oh, Ben Wallace. Oh, Ben Wallace. What did you say? I said Kobe was drafted in like the mid-teens. Kobe Bryant was 13. Yeah, 13. That's right. Get it going, Josh.

13, 13, 13, 13. Nobody joined in. 13, 13, 13. I'd just like to hear your voice. Bless the mood. Bless the mood. That 1996 draft, that was when I was at my peak of basketball card collecting. So that was a fun rookie class to be getting all those guys' cards.

Mm-hmm. But I believe Did we pass up on Kobe Bryant too? Did we pass him? Yes, instead we took Gerald Glass, I think. No, we took. Didn't we swap? Actually, we took Ray Allen, didn't we?

Yeah, we took Ray Allen and swapped him for Steph. That's right. God, that was looking back. Boy. Well, but what could have been? You know how it goes? Yeah, I do. It's all a gamble.

It's all the guessing. game and did I think much of Kobe Bryant when I first saw him play? No. I think Ben Wallace wasn't even drafted. I think he was a free agent, wasn't he? Yes, he was undrafted. Yeah. Imagine that. So maybe he shouldn't count. Maybe we, I don't know, maybe we shouldn't count him. I don't know. It doesn't matter. Well, I suppose he's part of that class, but. I didn't think much of Kobe Bryant the first time I saw him play. As far as an argument between Ray Allen and Steph Marbury, I remember in the moment in 1996, really wanting Ray Allen. But once I saw Steph play, I understood.

Now, I believe the greatest draft class ever was in 1970. Seven young fellers got drafted that night that turned out to be all-time Hall of Famers. And those seven guys were Bob Lanier. Oh, yeah. one of my favorite characters ever ruby that's my niece's name rudy tom jonovich pistol pete merrivich these guys were all drafted in nineteen and seventy yep dave cowens yep great player boston calvin murphy how many kids a lot of babies yeah i don't remember how many babies calvin murphy made but it is a pile yes tiny archibald oh boston and then the last one

Doesn't ring a bell. Charlie Scott. It doesn't ring a bell with me either. Seven Hall of Famers from that draft class. Oh, and by the way, so I also did watch a little bit of the draft last night. You did? I did. Wow.

Yeah, I'm not a draft guy. What part of the draft? Oh, I saw the first guy go. Oh, you do? And then I just flip back and forth. Kind of like. the home run derby. I flipped back. So, I got a little bored because it was a draft, and I got on my cell phone,

and I wish I would have saved this information, because it's going to come off a little anticlimactic, I think. But I opened up my cellular telephone, and I started scrolling through past NBA drafts to see where guys fell. I was in the 90s. I was in the 80s. I was in the 80s. I went all the way back to the... This is all I can tell you, so sorry if this is a little disappointing. I just can tell you this. There were, there once was a guy drafted to play basketball in the NBA, and his first name was cheese.

So maybe if one of you can open up the internet and find out who that was and what year it was, his first name was cheese. Was his last name, Wizz? You were cheese man one night. Wait a minute. Why did that?

That hurts so bad. I found the guy. His real name's Lynn Bert, but he went by cheese. So his name was Cheese Johnson. Cheese Johnson. Cheese Johnson. I've had that problem. Too much drinking one night, Josh, gave me cheese Johnson.

Oh, that'll happen. Oh, my God. Who drafted him and when? Hold on here. He was drafted by... Oldham State. Yes? 1979.

Two. 1970. I don't remember. Well, there was Magic Johnson was number one in 79. Where did you? cheese fall into the draft? I'm trying to see. 54th overall in the third round, back

when they had more rounds, obviously. I wish we had audio of that. He got the nickname. He was a New York City playground legend. He got the nickname Cheese cheese because he always had a big old smile on his face. Cheese Johnson. I hope he's doing well. I hope he's still around. How much fun is that for the Golden State

Warriors back then to draft Cheese Johnson? And the other name you're going to have to look up, Because, again, I'm just scrolling through last night. I'm going to use that name for one of my fantasy teams. Cheese Johnson. For NBA next year. He is still alive.

Is he? He's with us, yeah. He's 68 years old. He's around. Do you have any further information as to what ended up happening with Cheese's life, Josh? He played in nine career games in the NBA. He averaged three points a game. What's he do now, Josh?

Do you know? It doesn't say here what he does anymore. I hope he just rolled out. of bed for no reason because a radio show's talking about him after all these years. His playing career went from 1979 all the way to 1980. Oh my God.

He must be exhausted. He played in nine games. He played a grand total of 53 minutes in the NBA. Okay. 53 more minutes than you, Brad. Yeah, that's right. All right. Now, I've got another name you're going to have to search here. And again, I apologize. I got lazy

last time. I could have done my own research. Do your own research, they say, Judge. Yep. I've seen a another guy was drafted years ago into the National Basketball Association whose first name was Knuckles. So now we've got to look him up. I'm sorry to put you through all this work. There was a guy drafted at one point or another whose name was Nuckles. Harvey Nuckles? I thought it was a first name.

But maybe you're right. Maybe it is. There's a Harvey Knuckles here. Maybe that's him. What year was he drafted? 1981. Okay, then that's who I must have been who I encountered. Harvey Nuckles.

Who drafted him? We need to know about the Lakers. The Lakers. Harvey Nuckles. What a name. He was the final roster cut of the year for the Lakers, but he went on to have a successful career in Europe, it looks like. God dang.

Now, did Harvey, Knuckles and Cheese Johnson ever play on the same ball club? You get knuckles and cheese together, man. You know how when you look up stuff, you know, the Internet will say, you know, ask you other questions. The first question that popped up. when I was trying to find out about Harvey Knuckles was, there's a nine-finger basketball player in the NBA, too. Fairly well-known, does anybody know who that was?

He only had nine fingers. I'm going to go ahead and say, Tony Iommi. No. Vitaly Potapenko. He's got nine and a half, I think. Nine and a half. Who? Vitaly Potapenko.

Gerald Green. Oh, I remember Gerald Green, of course. Yeah, the NBA slam dunk champion, 12-year NBA career. He lost a finger on his right hand and he had nine fingers. I'm surprised I didn't come up more often. How did he lose his finger? I know how I lost mine one night.

Same way you lost your last ring the second night. I got it back. I did. I got it back. That took an interesting turn. You met that chick at Hogbowers, did you? Hogbauer's Automotive. Third Avenue, Main Street.

Say hi to Tiny and, of course, the founder, Donnie Hogbaugh. They're selling tires. There's a tire special this week at Hogbauer. Okay, I'm sorry, Brad Ryder. How did Gerald Green lose a finger? During a childhood accident, it says. Oh, a childhood accident. He's competing with his brother to see who could jump the highest

and touch the top of a doorway. Oh, I love that game. He got his mother's class ring snag on an exposed nail. Oh, my God. The snag ring caused more severe damage, severing the skin and tearing his finger off. That sounds awful. That's terrible.

Oh, I bet that stung. Okay. Gerald Green had one of those careers where he bounced all over to teams of funny names like the Rio Grande Valley Vipers. Yeah. The Foshon Dralians. The Draleans. The Locomotive Cuban.

There's a basketball team out there called the Locomotive Cuban. Cuban spelled with a K. I don't know. don't understand the words that are coming out of your mouth. Not sure I do either. He only had nine fingers, huh? My old man grew up with a kid who had an extra thumb on one hand. Yeah.

He had an extra thumb on one of his hands. This was in the, oh my God, what's happening? I don't know. Are we under attack? Somebody's breaking in. And, you know, this was in the 50s. In the middle of nowhere's southwestern Minnesota. Lake Wilson, Minnesota.

Was it right next to the other thumb? That's what I thought they usually are. There was a littler thumb growing out of one of his regular-sized thumbs. Oh, yeah. And my dad always joked around about how when they played football, this kid with the extra thumb was a terrific defensive back. He never dropped to football because he had that extra. You see where the joke is coming into play there?

Although they only passed once every six years back then. True. They didn't really understand the forward pass just yet. but cheese Johnson. I'll remember him now. Coffee and cuddles with my cat, Jesus said Cheese Johnson, he's the head mechanic at Hogbowers. He specializes in transmissions.

Say hello to him. All right, I don't know if we want to get into this, but now I'm reading an article that says the Boston Celtics are upset that they missed out on the Greek freaks and now they're making a push to trade for Anthony Edwards. That's not going to happen. No, I don't think so. I'm going to miss Mike Anori.

Yeah. Yeah, I love it. Seemed inevitable, though. Kind of an interesting deal, though. Yeah. He signed a one year deal. I'm sorry, one more time, Randy? He signed a one-year contract to be the coach in Portland,

which I think has a lot of people's stunned that that's what it turned out to be. I know that Chris Finch defended him, you know, like an impressor yesterday. First of all, congratulating him and excited for him, but also trying to tamp down on people's, on the conversation about a one-year contract. But that's really odd for a team to offer only a one-year deal and for a guy to only accept it. But as Chris said, there's only 30 of these jobs around. And so you bet on yourself. The thing you hope for is that they get off to a halfway, for his case, that they get off to a halfway decent start because how some of these players operate

and how they think is that, okay, this guy's not guaranteed to be here next year. And if things go south in a hurry, he's going to lose a locker room in a hurry. So for his sake, I hope that they buy in and they play well right away. Well, the good news for Micah is that Portland's good. They've got some really good, talented young players. they're not a bad team at all. So, you know, they've got a chance to be pretty decent. I hope he has a lot of success over there.

Mike and Norrie, obviously, a very talented guy and a really pleasant guy. I loved watching his in-game interviews when watching the Timberwolves. I hope he does a great job over there. Yeah, the owner of the Portland Trailblazers, the new owner, some dude by the name of Tom Dundon. He's getting so. She's a black.

Seems rather cheap. They say he's straight up cheap as balls. Well, I'm looking here right now. Portland doesn't have a draft choice in the first or second round, unless I missed it. They don't have a draft pick, which is bizarre too. Yeah. Who knows what the hell is going on over there, but Mike is a good guy.

Yep. I'm going to miss his interviews. You always said something kind of funny to say. Oh, yeah. Seems like a neat guy. I hope he has a good time. All right, if you've been listening in the last couple of days, it seems as if we've been far too even-handed,

and I guess sometimes even too positive when discussing the Minnesota Twins. And that has angered some of our listeners. Some of those listeners are mistaking our casual on-air baseball conversation as an act of ignorance. in their minds, simply discussing the team and their performance on the field is a sign that we're oblivious to all the negative things that have been happening with the Twins organization off the field the last couple of baseball seasons,

which of course is the furthest thing from the truth. For some of you, any conversation we have on air about the Minnesota Twins organization must include a constant reminder of the bad. Some of you feel like there should be no mention of the good without the bad included as well. So to try and avoid further issues, to appease those people, from now on, I'll try to preface any twins' conversation

with this pre-written overwhelmingly negative statement. So here I go. The twins suck, their owners totally suck. They should sell the team. They're awful people. Beer costs too much. Sure they've won a game or two, but who cares?

it doesn't matter. Even if they're in position to make the playoffs, they'll either be sellers at the trade deadline, or they'll get whooped by the Yankees in the opening round. The twins will never play in another World Series ever again. Royce Lewis sucks. Byron Buxton says he wants to be here, but he really doesn't. They'll both be injured soon enough because they suck,

and there's nothing good that they can do that will matter. Their bullpen sucks. They're just going to trade Joe Ryan anyway, so who cares? Baseball sucks. Baseball is boring. The poll lads can suck it. Not negative enough. I think that's the best way to go about it.

So this way, the negative people, you know that we're fully aware. Should I read the statement again? No. Okay. Yeah, throw some gasoline on that thing. Take down T.C. Bear while you're at it. T.C. Bear is a jabrony. With all that said...

You're going to discuss last night's game. I don't think you necessarily need to read that statement. No. No. With all that out of the way, yes, the twins got pumped. last night. Yep. You had to figure this might happen. You know, the Dodgers are the Dodgers and the twins are not. Yeah.

The Dodgers knocked in, what did they do? A total of 17 hits. 12 to 3. Mookie Betts, Alex Freeland, Alex Call, Chuckie Robinson. They each had two hits apiece for the Dodgers. Fred Freeman had three. Their starting pitcher, some little prick called

Rabelski, he was very good. Yeah, he's an all-star caliber pitcher right now. Son of a bitch was good. Yeah, he's nine and two. He's been really good. The experiment with Rogers, I think, is likely coming to an end here. Oh, no, I like Rogers. He got pummeled last night, giving up five runs.

The kid they brought up from St. Paul got shellacked over four innings. Yeah, how about that kid? Let me talk about that kid real quick. The one who took the loss, Austin Voth. He got the call up from the Saints to make his major league. big debut and I'm sure he was totally thiked about that but then he must have been thinking I've got to make my debut against

the Dodgers? Yeah, come on. You idiots couldn't wait a couple days, let me have the Rockies? On national TV. On national? Yeah, he got well pretty good. Yeah. So here's where some of you dorks will really start playing with yourselves. That shady Otani character is

supposed to pitch tonight for the final final against Joe Ryan. Sweet. Yeah. Yeah, Joe. Fun matchup. He faked that diarrhea because he wanted the shady gambler. Ah, yes, diarrhea strategy. Great. I'm saving that statement. I'm not kidding you.

I'm going to make it every time we talk about the twins on-field performance, just so everyone knows we're fully aware. No need to text us then. Here's the latest from the category of tired-ass stories that we hear over and over again. It says here, quote, there is strong evidence that Major League Baseball either change the baseballs before, the season or introduced a new batch of baseballs while cycling out the old in late May or early June because home run totals are suddenly skyrocketing.

So the juiced baseball conversation is a thing again. I don't care. Yeah. I don't know if the rest of you have any interest in it, but I don't care what you do to the baseball. Dip it in hot mustard. I don't know. Lick it.

You can lick the baseballs. It's one of those things. that the people who talk about it have no way to prove it. It's just, yeah. You have to, you still have to hit it, and it's coming at you at 100 miles an hour. So, I mean, and I think a lot of the juice base, people hear that, and they think, oh, like you said, Nick, I mean, they literally think that they're putting something in the baseball. But I think a lot of times what happens is pitchers will grab a baseball and notice that the seams are either really, or higher or lower. and that's usually what causes the spin rates to go up and the balls to go further.

The juiced baseball conversation, they're having it again. New York Yankees' second baseman Jazz Chisholm is having a hell of a week. A few days ago, we talked about this. A few days ago, a foul ball turned his gonads into powder. And I missed this. A day or two ago, he played an entire game with a lollipop in his mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome.

And his hat tilted 45 degrees to the side. It seems like a good way to kill yourself. Mm-hmm. Didn't you do that as a kid? We did that all the time. No, we went straight to chewing tobacco. Oh, gosh, we didn't do that. Oh, you never had any chewing tobacco playing baseball as a gun?

Oh, gosh, no. Oh. I had a lot of bubble gum. Oh. But not real chewing. We went straight to Copenhagen, and the rule was if Mommy asks, tell her it's Oreo. Yeah. You guys just skipped the sunflower seeds and the gum and went straight.

We never did the sunflower seeds either. Oh, you did it? No. Brad, are you sweeping those up a lot coaching softball? I'm not. I make them do it, but yeah. Brad coaches. So the gals are into the sunflower seeds thing too?

Not like guys are. Not as much as guys are. No. Some of them are. Guys are all the guys are, though. My daughter's team, they always had them. It's fun to play a sport where we enjoy snacks during the game. I'm with you on that.

Right. Yeah, this was cute. So, Jazz Chisholm a couple nights ago, he had a friggin' blowpop in his yap the entire baseball game. Apparently, this did not make his manager terribly happy. Aaron Boone said after the game, well, he said he didn't even notice. But he said after the game, you won't be seeing the last. lollipop gimmick again.

Matter of fact, he said, that pisses me off. I didn't know about it until after the game. That won't be going on. Now, I mean, the only issue, I don't give a rat's ass, but I'm concerned that, you know, he would dive for a baseball and choke himself. Right. Or stab himself in the- That's what I'd worry about, too, right?

Swallow it, yeah. Yeah, choke on the damn thing. stab his cheek right off of his face with that lollipop stem. Apparently, he's done this before. He even had an at bat earlier this season against the Red Sox where he had a lollipop in his mouth? That's funny. I missed that. It's a good way to get plunked.

I suppose, you know, you're up there doing the whole I'm so casual bit. Yeah, a pitcher might say, oh, you want to be cute. Aaron Boone admitted he didn't see that either. What the hell is he doing in the dugger? Is he watching his players? But yeah. I suppose I didn't think of it that way, Dana, what you just brought up,

that some players might think of it as a little bit disrespectful depending on the situation. That's the crap he's been getting. Oh, I didn't even, that's not even what occurred to me at all, but I can see it now. I can see where they're coming from. Who is that AEW wrestler

who just acts like he's too cool for the whole thing? Well, he's a guy that folks don't really talk about. You're talking with him anymore, huh? Yeah, he kind of... Oh, really? It was... Yeah. He got in...

There's some allegations. The guy with the color in his name? With the blowpop. Are you talking about the guy with the blowpop? Dana. No, I'm talking about the guy who just kind of has his hands in his pockets. Oh, I'm sorry. I was still thinking of a blowpop or routine.

That guy has had some terrible allegations. You're referring to Orange Cassidy because he's so laid back. I love that guy. Yeah, very fun. Okay, so we're all good there. As far as I know. Oh, good. There's.

Orange Cassidy is a living legend. I love that bit. One of the most unique gimmicks in television wrestling history, and everyone told him, this gimmick is going to go nowhere. You can't play that role. Are you nuts? Here's your opportunity to make it big, and that's the role you want to play. It's not going to work, and it became massive.

I thought it was awesome. Hands in his pockets. Can't even make the effort, by the way. He's so cool and so relaxed. He can't even make the effort to fully extend his thumb when he gives a thumb. when he gives a thumbs up. The thumb just kind of rests on his head. He can't even extend.

I remember Josh, again, sorry to blow up here about Orange Cassidy, but we all are big fans. When that gimmick first took off, just hands in his pockets, totally relaxed and totally, you know, so cool that he can't be bothered with anything. I was watching AEW,

and there was one of these all-out, full-on, four-alarm falls count anywhere. matches. So they're wrestling in the garage, they're wrestling in the hallway, they're wrestling at the concession stand, and eventually they make their way to the men's room. You know, six, eight guys is beating each other into oblivion, and at one point, someone was thrown into a stall door in the men's room. And when the door opened, Orange Cassidy is leaning up against the wall with his sunglasses on and his hands in his pocket. He's just standing alone in the men's room. Did you ever see the video where he almost gave a thumbs up?

I mean, it was so close and then he psyched us out. Did the crowd go crazy? The crowd was going nuts. Of course. He explained his character's motivation as, if I have to wrestle, I'll wrestle. It's like one of those things. You have a job.

You're good at it. But you know, do you really want to? I loved his bit. It's so wonderful. I haven't seen him in years. Okay, here's a text message from UPS Loder Jesus. I don't know if this is true. No offense, UPS Loder Jesus,

but I've seen this guy play basketball many, many times. He says Drew Holiday, speaking of the Portland Trailblazers, wasn't Drew Holiday playing for Portland last year? Yeah. Okay. Okay. UPS Loder Jesus says Drew Holiday plays every basketball game with a toothpick in his mouth. That can't be allowed.

I don't think I've seen that. And I don't think that the referees would allow that, like you said, Dana. Yeah. But I could be wrong. I think I've heard that before, actually. A toothpick? Are you nuts? someone will elbow that right down into your throat

or you choke on it going up for a rebound stab someone in the eye with it it's always the eyes Josh yeah apparently he's he's been known to do that in a full-on regular season game would appear to be a toothpick or a plastic clothes tag I'm seeing

okay I've never noticed that and I would think that the referees would tell them to spit that out you guys ever have that incident I mean, crazy to play basketball or baseball or anything with a sharp object in your frigging yap. Did you guys have that incident as a kid where you stabbed yourself with this or that? I remember a friend of mine's younger brother horsing around with a McDonald's shake in his hand with the straw on his mouth, right? And they're horsing around and one guy falls on the other. And that straw stabbed him up through the roof of his mouth and stabbed him in his brain.

Ouch. You guys ever? I took a Capri Sun Straw to the nose once. Oh! Oh, no. That thing, that'll stab you. And you lived to tell about it. Ginny, too.

I know. Those could do some damage. A Capri Sun Straw. Those things were one of the most dangerous. It was like a sword. I mean, John Rambo, I think, carried one of those in a tool belt. Yeah, the military uses, though. Those were so dangerous, man.

If you stabbed that pouch and just missed a little. little bit. It's going through your hand. Oh, wow. Okay, now people are texting in. My cousin played youth soccer with a ring pop in his mouth, running around the soccer field with a sucker in his yap. Yeah, we just went straight to the chew. And you guys never got yelled at, or did they think it was something else? Yeah, coaches would say spit it out, and we would, and then we just put it right back in when he wasn't looking. Yeah. Coaches didn't like it. one of the ugliest things I ever saw was high school.

We had a gym class type of a deal where we went out onto the ice and played brum ball. We went out onto the hockey rink to play brum ball for a few days. Yeah. That always got violent. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. It was terrible. Terrible.

We would just slam kids. Poor on athletic kids head first into the... But, of course, you know, If we had, let's say we had 15 guys in that class, 11 of them chewed tobacco. So we go out onto the ice, the nicely cleaned sheet of ice there at Wise Out of High School. We go out there to play broomball, and everybody's spitting their chew all over the ice. It just looked like a duck had diarrhea all over the...

And finally, the gym coach said, oh, for God's sake, who's chewing snuff? Hey, check this out. I know, well, I don't know anything. Let's ask Dana. When does the United States soccer team play again? When should we be ready for the next layer of madness? Tomorrow night at 9 o'clock. I'll be damned I will miss that one.

So what's it going to take for the U.S. to play England on the 4th of July? Isn't that going to be a possibility? I heard that was a debunked rumor. Oh, is that right? Yeah. I think somebody put it out there just because it would be cool if that happened, but I think they're on opposite sides of the bracket, and they would be able to meet up until much later in the tournament.

Gotcha. Yeah, it seems like a lot of people were saying this could happen. It'll be awesome. Here's what's going on lately at the World Cup soccer tournament. United States federal agents have seized up and around 300 drones from goofballs who want to fly it around the ball games and get their cute little overhead shots of. That's serious stuff. What's it say here, Josh? If you're flying a damn, if you're a drone pilot and you decide to send it towards one of these soccer games, you could go to prison.

Yeah, they don't mess around with stuff like that. They shouldn't. Matter of fact, it says here, all aircraft, including drones, are banned from within three nautical miles of stadiums, blah, blah, and less specially authorized by air traffic control. 300 different J-Brones have been trying to fly their drones. towards the ball game. And they get the damn thing taken. You're not going to get that drone back, Josh. No.

Have you been peering into your neighbor's windows with your drone just yet? No, binoculars. He's smart. I'm old-fashioned. Kicks it old school. I still, I still would look. From the tree next door.

I got real good at climbing trees. Yeah, like George McFlying back to the future. And I got nothing against drone pilots. I'm kind of drawn to them. I maybe would like to be a pilot someday. See what I can get done. Yeah, some of them are pretty cool. Oh.

But yeah, I don't mean, you're messing with some serious security there at that soccer tournament by trying to horse around. I mean, they'll just knock you out. All right, before we get going, a listener gave me a heads up on this. Have any of you's watched the Randy Maugh Fishing Show? Yeah. I've seen clips of it. It looks like fun. I should say clips. Yes, I haven't watched a full one yet. Randy and Brad, did you know that Randy Ma?

Former Viking, of course. I thought I saw one time where he was fishing with Jake Reed and Chris Carter. Yep. That's part of it. That's the video that was sent to me by a listener. Sent to us by a listener. He had on his fishing show, I don't know what he calls it. Randy Maugh.

Does he call it straight bass on me? Straight bass? Like a play? on straight cash only? Oh, sure. I think that's right. Oh, really? Or maybe people are joking about that. Well, he, once he retired and got really into bass fishing, he made that

quote when he's being interviewed about his newfound passion for getting out on the lake. It's called Chasing 10. Chasing 10? Okay. Yeah. I'm not sure what that means, but... Right, I'm not sure either. He's going for bass that's 10 pounds are heavier.

Oh, sure. Okay. Yep. But Randy Schaber, that's the clip that was sent to me also. He had a three deep reunion. That was the nickname for the Vikings receiving corps back in the day. So he had Jake Reed and that lovable, humble, and down-to-earth, Chris Carter in the fishing boat with him. They all went fishing together. It looked like they were sharing some old stories. You know who was the big bass fisher?

Oh, yeah. Fisherman. Oh, yeah. Vikings was, yeah. It was Denny. Oh, yeah. And I'll bet you Denny is the one that kind of got him interested in all that. I load up the cooler now with some snapple.

Oh, yeah. When it gets hot out on the lake, the sheriff likes to enjoy a snapple. Yep. And then I hooked into a big one, and Solly was there. in the hot top he was in the hot top shali i said sally get the dip net this one's a wall hanger the three deep

reunion oh yeah they were a hell of a trio there in the late 90s oh yeah do you think denny ever went fishing with jesse oh don't do that to me you're gonna kill the man brad oh god should i even try that josh

i'm an old man now he took jesse's dog with him. Was guerrilla in the boat? Of course they bring Gorilla. He was like a fishing dog.

He was a good luck. You know, I'm a little thirsty. Anything in the cooler there, coach? Oh yeah. Here's a sample. You got anything to maybe mix in with it?

I have no idea. I have no idea. I'm stuck. It's been a long time. Been a long time. I'm sure at some point on the boat he'd tell the coach that he's hunted man. I've hunted man. Oh, God.

Yeah, we miss the coach. We miss the sheriff. Jake Reed, Randy Maugh, and Chris Carter. Those bastards should have probably should have won a Super Bowl in there somewhere. Yeah, no kidding. I think arguably the greatest trio of wide receivers maybe ever assembled in the NFL. Ever assembled in the NFL?

On the same team. On the same team. Pretty close. Well, you know. Now I got to try to think about a trio. Washington, the dolphins had. Mark Clayton. They had three guys.

Mark Dooper. Mark Dooper. And somebody else, I thought. I don't know. Jimmy Cephalo? I don't know. No, no, no. Sorry.

Here it is. Mark Clayton, Mark Dooper, and Nat Moore? Was that their big trio? I think so. Was that Moore still around? Washington had the fun bunch. Boy, who were they again? God, damn. Art Monk.

Christ, I'll never come up with the other. Yeah, I'm not going to think of them. But in the modern era of football, it's hard to imagine a better threesome. I've got one. That wide receiver. I'm not trying to take anything. away from Jake Reed, Randy Maugh, and of course the humble, lovable Chris Carter. Not trying to take anything away from those gentlemen.

But you might have just temporarily forgotten about Air Coriol. Oh, yeah. John Jefferson, West Chandler, Charlie Joyner, and you even have to include Kellan Winslow. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. But no, they were very good. They were very good. What I enjoy, sometimes I'll watch old videos of the three-deep era with the Minnesota Vikings. And watch carefully.

I'm right about this. Every ball that Jake Reed caught, he also almost dropped. Just watch very closely. Watch closely. Every ball he caught, he also damn near dropped. That was part of the fun of watching Jake Reed. All right, there you go. We'll take a little break from this nonsense.

And next time you challenge me with a Denny Green and a Jesse bit. I'll try to be a little more prepared. You guys have a good one. All right. See you. Okay. 903. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life.

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Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Full-Send Golf. You guys know how much I really, really love golf. Full-Send Golf, 2V-2. Me and VOD versus Big John and Kyle.

Oh, it feels good to be back. On the lengths with the boys. Join the party on the golf course. Back to golf. in a big way. Now what? Practice? Let's hit the range.

I was like, let's go to the range. We are heading to the golf. Curio, you want to golf with us? No. You don't play golf? No. Try. We got to break par.

I'm very, very excited. You excited? Yeah. Full send golf. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. F-assed morning show. 93. Yeah, you know, it ain't all bad.

It ain't all bad. We're having a pretty good time. Pretty decent time. And, of course, deep down, we hope that you goofy bastards are doing even better. Welcome back to the program ski. Josh, I'm going to work you over again here real quick. Uh-oh. I'm going to look to you to get this year next conversation going.

You ever play one of those video games, Cubby, where you can create yourself as a character? I mean, just like the way I look, sure, like playing a hockey game or something like that. That's what you're talking about? Yeah, you can create yourself as a character. sure we'll take a video or a hockey game

football video game what do you do of course I mean I've done it you make yourself the most unstoppable force on planet yeah you're 100% on everything have to strength 100 speed

100 awareness whatever the options might be we've all done it so let me toss this your way a hypothetical online setup asked, oh, a pile of people. They asked a good pile of people this year question. And the way I'm going to put it is a little confusing, but I'm sure eventually you'll understand. The question is

this, what percentage-based bonus would you give yourself if you could choose? And the options are, like say, you could become 10 p. 10 p.cent. You could become 10%. You could become 10% happier. You could become 20% luckier. You age 30% slower. You become 40% prettier or hotter. You get paid 50% more money from your jab. Or you become 60% better at every sport.

So what percentage-based bonus would you choose if you could make these improvements to yourself. Let's talk about the first one. 10% happier. That's the one I'd choose. You already have an answer. Yeah, just because all the rest of those don't say anything about happiness as sweet as making 50% more, being a great athlete or being better looking would be.

If that's all that changes, I mean, essentially it's to make you happier, right? So I'll take the guaranteed 10% happy. I'm not a risky. I don't like to take risk. You're saying money doesn't always bring happiness is what you're saying. Because each one of those is supposed to give you happy. But it's only 10% happier as opposed to like, say, 60% better at every sport. 60% is a great increase.

You know numbers. You're well aware of your finances and things like that. 60% is a big increase. Yeah, I know. I agree. All of them are awesome, but I'll take the guaranteed happiness, Bob. If I was 12, I'd absolutely go to the 60, was it 60% more athletic? You're 60% better at every sport.

I would go with that when I was young. Now I'm 40. What's that really going to do for me? Well, it's going to make you awesome at every sport. I'd rather have that when I was young where I could go on to do something in sports. But now you're the king of the beer league. You're the most incredible bowler. You're the most incredible, you know, every sport, pocket billiard.

I'm trying to apply this to an adult. Because you make good sense. When you're 40 years old, so what if I'm great at baseball? Who's going to give me a contract? I'm 40 years old. You said 9-3s out of 10. Good for you, man. Barsoe Jesus said, I guess since I'm already happy, hot, and super talented,

I'll just take the money. 20% bigger penis, this person said. Not on the list, but yeah. Yeah, they didn't say anything about the old Swanstooker. They should have said, Yeah, like say a 15% increase in the size of your old Swanstooker, but they did not include that into your options. Well, that's a, I mean, nice answer on your part, Josh.

You just like 10% more, you're a pretty happy guy. Everywhere but here. What, I love it here. And you guys know it. Somebody said, oh, does that mean you're not happy? No, not at all. I just figured I'll take the guaranteed happiness because that's what the rest is supposed to do for you. Hmm. I haven't decided yet.

Wait, wait a minute. Which one did you go with, Dana? I'd go with the money. The money. 50% more money at your job. That would make me very happy. Well, yeah. Finally. That means you'd be getting some words.

I don't know, my arithmetic ain't that solid, but you'd be getting somewhere around two, three hundred bucks. If you got paid 50% of, 20% luckier. I don't think I'm a, Well, wait a minute. I think I am a pretty lucky guy. Look at me, 54 years old. We've got to work in our hometown at the same job for three decades.

That's pretty awesome. I mean, I'm not in the greatest health, but I'm still above ground. I've had a lot of good experiences and good things happen in my life. I do consider myself lucky in that aspect. I am not lucky because the first. thing that comes to mind usually is folks who walk into a casino and walk out of there with $50,000. I'm not lucky in that aspect, and that's okay. That's okay. But I think I've been pretty lucky. Another option was you age 30% slower. Huh, hang on to your youthful looks a little longer.

That's a nice thing. Doesn't apply to you, Josh. You used to, other than the huge oversized bald head in those big ears. Why is my head so oversized? You look very young for your age. What's nice you to say? 40% prettier or hotter? Man, where would you want that

40% to fall? You already answered the question. You just want to be 10% happier. But let's say you were going to go with the 40% hotter. Where would you want the hotness to show itself? Well, I can't say penis, right? That's a separate thing. It is? Oh, I suppose.

Because we're talking about pure aesthetics. Yeah. Right. BOD. The bod. Yeah. Wouldn't mind being cut. With no effort, by the way.

Yeah, I want to be cut, but I don't want to put any effort into it. This all happens. Don't want to change my diet. Don't want to exercise. You got the bod. Next thing you know, you're cut. Yeah. Let's say that only accounts for 10%.

You still got 30% to work with. I mean, certainly the face, but I'm already married. What do I got to prove? She's locked in. There's nothing she can do about it. But if you're 40% hotter, maybe you no longer want to be married. Oh, I think I'd still want to be married. I don't think you would.

You don't think I would? No. So I'm hotter. Yeah. And like girls would be attracted to me. Yeah, dude, wake up. And I can't do anything about it because I'm married. You're gone.

But if I wasn't married, I could do something about it. Right. All right, you gave me something to think about. Okay. Hairdew. Wouldn't you grow your hair out to look like Sebastian Bach from the I Remember You video? I would. I mean, you wouldn't have to grow it out. It instantly happens. You're instantly 40% hotter. And you are Sebastian Bach in the I Remember You video. Are you still married now?

Gorgeous. I mean, I would want to be, but it would be impossible. Girls would be all over me. Remember the hairdo in that music video? Dude. It was incredible. One of the best looking men of all time. Uh, you get a hairdo like that, Josh. Maybe you can just negotiate one of those MBA deals. You know, you're the woman I come home to, but there's going to be others on the side. Oh yeah, like Community Property, the song from Steel Panther. Community property, great tune. Such a beautiful message in that song. 50% more money at work.

Wow, that'd be nice. Now, if you were to become 60% better at every sport, I mean, look at you. You'd finally be able to accomplish something that seems unattainable for you. you'd be throwing a football like you were Bernie Kosar. That'd be pretty sweet. Yeah.

It's funny, I was just, I met some friends last week, and we were talking about guns, right? These guys know everything about guns, and I know a little bit, you know, guns are kind of big of my family, but not much, not like these guys. And they were talking about, like, muzzle velocity and things about how bullets work. And they're like, you know, it's kind of like,

you know, when you throw a tight spiral? Oh, I was kind of laughing, like, are they messing with me here? I had to say, no. I'm not familiar with that. Of all the examples they had to bring up. Yeah. I mean, I've seen people do it. What you should do, Josh, is they have these, you know, some of you, a specialized quarterback coach that you could hire to work with your kid, but you're secretly just watching them and you're getting all the tips.

It might if I get a couple reps in boys as long as I'm standing here? But, Dad, I don't want to play quarterback. Shut up. Shut up. I'm learning something. This is for me. All right, let's all answer this question because we're all sports. sports fans. Let's focus on the, what we're discussing here is this hypothetical online question

that was asked to a pile of live human beings. If you could incorporate any of these percentage-based bonuses to your life, what would you choose? 10% happier, 20% luckier, you age 30% slower, 40% prettier or hotter, you make 50% more at work, more monies, or 60% better. better at every sport. Since we're all sports fans, let's say we all became 60% better at every sport, whatever we tried. What would you make your go-to sport to show all the women in town of what you're made of? Well, football, I love football. You would want to be 60% better than you currently are at football. That's something that sucks. It has to be, you have to be, better than you currently are.

Yeah, so you would be... Okay, I'm going to have to switch it to... You would only be okay at football, then. I'm switching to badminton. I'm okay at badminton. Badminton. So there might be a noticeable difference. Cubby likes the racket sports.

I'll handle the shuttle cock. Dana, if you could choose that sport, I mean, you would be better at every sport, of course, if the scenario plays itself up, but which one would be the game you played? At the age of 40, I think I go throwing darts. Darts. I love throwing darts. It's fun.

I like to think I'm doing. decent at it. I also really enjoyed it, and I also think I have a knack for it. I just don't, I don't really have anywhere to put a dartboard anymore. You know what I mean? Yeah, you could be, like, that's what I was explaining to you earlier. You could be a bar legend. Yeah.

Oh, I thought of one. Go ahead. I'd love to be a good boxer. Hey, dude, that's not, that's good. Yeah, you took boxing classes once upon a time, didn't you, Josh? I did, yeah. I took lessons for about two years. Oh, that's awesome.

If you're 60% better at boxing than you currently are, you're probably pretty good. So you just want to whoop everybody's ass. You know, I just think it would be fun. You want to start trouble? No, I don't want to start trouble. You're looking to start trouble? No, no, but wait a minute. I could start trouble.

You got me thinking. No, I think that would be what I'd want to do. I would go with... Oh, motorsports. God darn it, this is too much. Now you're going with motorsports. Yeah, I was thinking, like, physical. Can we throw in motorsports?

Sure, it's a sports. Okay, I want to be a race car driver. Okay. That's it. I got it. Race car driver. Suddenly. I don't care which NASCAR.

Suddenly, you're a no-show at the badminton court. Right. You also... Here's a guy that can't make up his mind. You're not there to play any football. What was the other one you came up with? Boxing. Boxing.

The ring is empty. Your opponent... Yeah, if it doesn't have to be... Your opponent's just won by forfeit. Now you're behind the wheel of a race car. Yeah, if you can throw in motorsports, that's what I want to do. And that may be... Yeah, that may be your calling.

Because I've always said you're an excellent. driver. I appreciate it. I love it. I wish that I would have, I mean, I can't imagine being good in an actual competition. But I wish I could. Now, suddenly, this new cubby, who's 60% better at every sport, suddenly now I'm picturing you driving the number 69 Dodge. Sponsored by, no, sponsored by Hogbauer's automotive. It's certainly repaired there. The 69 Dodge is what you're driving. I would go with tough for me because I'm focusing on bar sports. So what if I'm 60% better at hockey, basketball, football?

I would stick to bar games and so flip a coin, either make me 60% better at pocket billiards or bowling. What a fun. What fun I would have with my free time on my weekends if I was that much better at those two beautiful sports. You know, I'm a big fan of both of those sports. Sure, you could rake some coals over the, rake some fools over the coals once in a while, make some money. It's going to say you go town to town hustling people. But just the fun of being an excellent bowler or a lights-out pocket billiard player.

They're cool skills to have. By the way, we can wrap this up now in just a minute or two. Now that we've all answered, Cubby's answered. Your original answer was you'd want to be 10% happier. That was the least most common answer amongst those who were polled with this question. Everybody wanted the money. I could see that, yeah. Everybody wanted the money.

But I've seen folks get raises. I've seen folks get raises and it did nothing for their attitude where they thought, oh, I'm going to get a raise and finally I'm going to appreciate. That's true. I mean, did nothing at all. I've seen it too. You're right. They just needed more.

They made more money and they still bitched. Yep. But most folks wanted the money. The lowest common answer was happiness. I'm getting crap for flip-flopping. I know. I'm sorry. I didn't have time to think about it. Hey. You know, don't be jumping on.

You have my apologies. I get it. It's annoying. Don't be jumping on the guy. He had to sift through a couple of thoughts. And now he finally got there. He's behind the wheel of the number 69 Dodge, sponsored by Hogbauer's automotive. Oh, man. What? I can see you up there at the dirt tracks.

Yeah. Some of those, like, truck series are pretty sweet. I can see you at the dirt tracks. You got a fat Copenhagen in your lip. You got a... I'm dizzy as heck. Yeah, you're buzzing from the Copenhagen. Turning green.

You're a little dangerous out there on the track because... Why did I ever try this? Yeah. Anyone feel like maybe ducking out a little early? I'm cool with whatever. Whatever you guys want to do. I don't mind sticking around. Do you want to know why?

Why? I have to use the bathroom. Oh. I've got some enchiladas waiting for me at home. Oh, stop talking about food. So good. Oh, no. It's that type of bathroom.

I got to get myself into the... So we were having some fun talking about a... Oh, well, a wacky scenario that was thrown up onto the godless internet where you could improve yourself. You had to choose one of the following. You could choose to make yourself 10% happier. You could choose to make things. 50% more money at your current occupation.

You could, what else was there, Josh? You could be luckier. You could be hotter, prettier. The one that a lot of folks were focusing on was you could be 60% better at every sport. And then we started talking about which sport would we focus on. If we were 60% better at what we go for, here are some of the texts that fell our way, bearded Daddy Jesus said he would go. with bowling. He averages a 205. Oh, wow. If he's 60% better, that is like 110, he says. He's

doing some arithmetic. So I would average over 300. No one would ever beat me. That'd be incredible. Best bowler of all time. He would just go on tour then. Be a legend. Yeah, he'd be, uh, think of the babes. The bowlers do rake in some pretty good. Squish. Who is the biggest, Is there a rock star of bowling? Well, probably, I mean, for quite a stretch, it was the Australian guy, the two-handed bowler Australian guy. Now I can't think of his name. I'm sure somebody would know it. Yeah.

Jason Del Monte, Belmonte, Jason Belmonte, probably was that guy, the most recent, like, rock star boulder where he's kind of a good-looking guy. A lot of these bowlers, they're not exactly, you know, a magazine cover material. I'm not trying to shock anybody. He always says Pete Weber. Yeah, that's a big name. Pete Weber, all-timer, yeah. Kind of a nut job. Was he, though, who do you think you are, I am, guys?

Yes, yes. I believe we have the right guy. But I'd say Jason Belmonte. He kind of went global. All right, what else is there? Lister said, if I was 60% better at golf, I'd be the next Tiger Woods minus the DUIs. Now, fame can get to you, though.

Oh, it can. Another lister texted in to say, I'd like to be 60% better at water sports. If you know what I mean. I think we know. Never played. I didn't realize that was a skill. I've never been anywhere where they do play that.

You'll get there. I'll show you some plays, Josh. I have a buddy who played that accidentally once, and he wants that to happen again. How do you play water sports accidentally? Oh, you know what? Maybe I'm confusing the, I don't even know how to say it cleanly.

He doesn't know how to say it. Nope. You know what the guy usually does at the end? Sure. The lady did that. So that's not water sports, right? That's a little bit different. Well, it was accident?

Yeah. A grown person would have said it was an accident. It was brought upon by great pleasure. So maybe that doesn't count. We'll have to think about that one. I know what you mean. Chandler-welder Jesus says if I was 60% better at my face, favorite sports, there'd be no deer and fish left for the rest of you, but lords.

Catch up all the, and all the deer would be... I love that butlord has stood the test of time. It has. I mean, in middle school, everybody was a butlord. All right, so we might have to get out of here a little early because I've got to go to the bathroom, but... Belmonte, Jason Belmonte, and E.J. Tackett are now currently the Rock. of professional bowling. I know who E.J. Tackett is. He's not exactly, he doesn't exactly have that

rock star look where Belmonte, and right now someone's looking at their watch saying, when are you going to be done talking about bowling? But E.J. Tackett's kind of a dorky-looking guy where Belmonte kind of has a good look to him. He's tall, dark, handsome. We'll finish this conversation tomorrow, I'm sure. By popular demand, we'll finish this conversation. A couple of further texts that came in. One listener says, I get 40 percent hotter every time I drink. Everybody does, right? You carry yourself like you're a lot better looking than, yeah.

You kind of catch a glimpse in the mirror. You're like, yeah, I still got it. I'm so much more likable and hilarious and tough, more tough. Oh, you got everything going for you after you've had a couple of Steve Weisers. Tougher, smarter. Oh, you're so much smarter. Oh, definitely. And everybody should know it.

Everyone at the bar. You're giving them a little bit of a gift. Right. I don't know if I really, tell me what you make of this, Josh. A listener says, my. wife when she was just my girlfriend got 40% hotter when she showed me that she had all false teeth.

Oh, I see. Yeah, when they came out, he thought, oh, we could do something with that. Normally, when a gal says, hey, look, I got to be honest with you, none of these chicklets at all, none of them are real. A lot of us would go, ah, huh? But this guy said, all right all right

he did well hello I see where we can go with this he had ideas right away he had ideas he's a genius she got 40% hotter when she took out her fall sees and said yeah this is this is the real me he knows how to look at stuff he does he knows

the positive the silver line every once in a while a guy's got to think with his penis it doesn't happen very often but I'm glad he reminded us that we should do that that is gospel we got to get the hell out of your role I know oh look it's nine o'clock we made it we didn't we didn't have to cash out early. Nope. But if there's anybody in the men's room right now, get the hell out of the way.

We're still going to get a full day's wages. Right. Shout out to McKenzie and Piper. Have fun, you rock stars from mom and dad, P-man. Happy 20th anniversary to Jackie and Eric from Gasman Jesus. Happy 25th birthday to Isabel. Guys, she's listening all the way from England. Oh, wow. Getting her master's degree and she's still keeping up with the show. We definitely... I bet it sucks out there. Definitely appreciate that. And happy birthday to Tyler, who turns 11 today from grandpa and good luck on the golf course. 93X.

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