93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Double Dong Dog

Episode Date: May 29, 2026

Originally Aired May 29, 2026: Coke-tex. Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Everything you wanna know about how trashy you are.   Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail].  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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And hey, mention 93X. Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93X-Hapast morning show. Here we go with the final final. We're making our way out of this nightmare at 9 a.m. We'll be calling it a work week at that point. Until then, we'll try and keep you and ourselves awake. Welcome to the 93X half-ass morning show.

This is somewhat better than an average Friday. And I'm not promising a better-than-average Friday show. I'm calling this a better-than-average Friday because aren't schools letting out, Cubby? Yeah, I mean, my kid, gets out next week. I mean, it's basically it's a free slide, right? Everybody's not paying any attention. There's a name for it. Something's slide. But they got one more week. But a lot of schools ended this week.

Yeah, yesterday, I remember when you were doing your shoutouts at the end of the day. And maybe even on Wednesday, I think you read a few texts from listeners. You said, my kids getting out of school. There's a teacher that was sad about it. A teacher was feeling sad about school coming to an end. It's always special when school lets out. Good memories. I'm guessing some parents in our listening audience aren't exactly touching them.

I don't think they're touching themselves knowing that schools are out because now they're looking at three months with the kids climbing the walls. Or daycare fees and stuff like that so you can get to work. Oh, now you've got to send the kids to daycare because schools no longer keeping an eye on them. I didn't even think about that. When I was a kid, my parents once a summer would send me to a week-long soccer or basketball camp. and I just thought, man, this is so nice. This is so cool.

I get to go play basketball and my buddies at overnight camp for the week. I didn't realize they did that intentionally. That was the best week of their summer. Which is getting my ass out of the house. They did that so they could bump. Yeah, that's it. That was sex week. One of my friends, his, or one of my son's friends,

he goes to a camp that's like two months long. Oh, wow. And then a couple of his buddies have gone to this thing. And it's cool in a way that there's no electronic. They're learning how to be out in nature. That's cool. Yeah, that is cool. I mean, I could teach that, basically, if I wanted to.

They love it. They come back. Like, one kid came back totally cut because they're outside working all the time. He was kind of a heavier kid. Came back and completely changed him. Camp. You said a kid goes off to two weeks? Two months.

Two months. Are you positive? That's not juvenile hall? It could be a cult. It could be a lot of things. In high school, one of my pals had to go to Juvie Hall for a couple of months. And the day before he left, he said to all of us, yeah, I'll write you guys a letter from camp. He called it camp.

I thought that was cute. It really wasn't camp. It was teenage prison. Anyway, should we do the fourth grade test, Cubby? We've had this fourth grade test sitting around. Yeah. Everyone remembers the old television program, right? Wasn't it actually specifically called Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

Yes. I loved that. I used to have like a little Nintendo DS game of that. Oh, really? Yeah, it was so much fun. I love it to get a DS. Yes. Oh, yeah, I had two.

Did you play that dog game? Nintendo dogs? Yeah, of course. That's where I, uh, that's when I started saying Deshawn as instead of a doxon. Oh, sure. I probably said Deshawn because of that game. Docks hound. Here's the deal.

a few days ago, maybe even more at this point. I mentioned that, yeah, 30, what the hell year is it now, Josh? 2026? Does that mean 36 years ago? I graduated high school. When I walked out of high school, yesterday handed me a diploma. But I feel like I got really, my own fault, I got no better than a fourth grade education. looking back at everything that I didn't accomplish when I was a student.

I think if you really summed it up, I probably gained about a fourth grade education. It was fifth grade where I first began disconnecting and not caring at all about my education. So Josh found this test, I think. Oh, yeah, Ashley found it. Ashley found a test. basically like the television show. So let's see if it's true or not. Let's see if I got any better than a fourth grade.

We're going to see if I can answer fourth grade level questions here. Oh, I think you could. A tribute to school being let out. Congratulations, kids. You made it again. Schools out. Those were the best days. Let me know you're ready.

I'm absolutely ready to go. How much do you know about the planets? That's going to come in handy in this first question. Dude, that's very interesting. I'm glad we're starting with the planets because it's something that I haven't thought about. I can't tell you the last time I thought about how they're all lined up out there. You know what I'm talking about? Do you know what planet we're on right now?

I do. Okay, let's hear it. Can I say it in a way that that's a little intimidating? Yeah, absolutely. Welcome to Earth. Oh, man. If I was an alien, I'd get the F out of here. I know it Will Smith.

He'll bitch slap me right back to Neptune or wherever I'm from. Yes, I'm aware of the planet we're currently on. Okay. So far, so good. Here's your question. Yes. What planet in our solar system is the furthest from Earth? God dang.

And we have multiple choice. Like I just said, it's been so long since I thought about which one, how they're lined up out there. You guys, not that long ago, had a little code word that reminded you of the order of the planets. And I don't remember that code word. I think you guys know what I'm talking about. So the question is which planet is furthest away and you have multiple choice. Multiple choice.

Mars. Planet Fitness. Neptune, where I'm from. Or Jupiter. Planet Fennettin fitness. I'm going to go with Jupiter. Here, I'll give you my bell here. Oh, yeah, I was going to say.

Here, I'm going to throw it to you. Well, you don't need it right now. Yeah, we wouldn't be ringing it. Yeah, that one, that's not correct. The answer is Neptune. And maybe Ashley or Dana, you can tell us that is it a mnemonic or whatever it's called how you remember. Yeah, it's all, like, my very energetic mother just, I think, made us. nine pizzas, except pizzas isn't existent anymore because Pluto has been, they've been kicked out of the planet.

Yeah, Pluto got dissed. You guys, they deserved it. Hey, Dana, but I have great news. My son's nursery or bedroom is like space themed and on the rug on the floor, it has Pluto still. Your kid's going to grow up on the right side of history, actually. I'm really proud. Can you say it one more time? Yeah, so when you guys were kids, you were taught this bouncy little song.

about your mother and pizza. My very educated mother just gave us nine pizzas. And it taught you the order of the planets from nearest to furthest away. I didn't, that didn't happen at my school. We didn't learn it that way either. Okay, so I got it wrong. Neptune is the furthest away. And you guys are talking about Pluto.

Yeah, Pluto could have, that would have been an asterisk. Why just rest of peace? Rest of peace, Pluto. Why is Pluto no longer in the mix? They decided it wasn't big enough to be considered a planet. Oh. It's more of a moon than it is a planet. It's kind of like that.

Same rules apply to my penis then. It's not big enough to be called a penis. It kind of reminds me of the argument we have here between Minnesotans and Wisconsinites over who has more lakes. Oh, yeah. And then it comes down to, well, what size does a body of water have to be to be considered a lake? Even I've kind of wondered about, like, I lived across from a lake. and I'm not so sure that counts as a lake. I think somebody threw that in there just so we could keep the moniker.

Just padding the stads? Yeah. So you guys miss Pluto quite a bit? Yeah. You do? It's like the underdog. Underdog? Yeah, the tiny little planet, you know?

Oh, I thought you meant legitimately the cartoon character. Yeah, that's what I thought too. I loved underdog. Okay, so I'm 0 for one here in this fourth grade quiz. All right. Well, here's a planet fun fact before we move on. Oh, wow. The planet with the shortest day is Jupiter.

It only takes the equest, equivalent of 9.9 earth hours for Jupiter to complete a full rotation. And it'd be tough not to laugh at this one if you're a fifth grader. We can never land on Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, or Neptune because they're made of gas. No solid surface. Jupiter sounds like they got some kick-ass work hours. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine? You said it's only nine Earth hours, and it takes only nine Earth hours to complete a full day in Jupiter.

I want to work on Jupiter. Me too. Which ocean? This is my thing, the oceans. Yeah, oh, you're good at it. I'm very aquatic. I'm a very marine character. Which ocean is on the east coast of the United States?

And you have some choices here. Uh-huh. Is it Billy Ocean? Oh, dude. Is it Danny Ocean? That reference I don't get. Oceans 11. Oh.

Is it the Pacific Ocean or the Atlantic Ocean? I got this one. Atlantic. Correct. Amundo. Hey, you play that instrument well. Yeah, use my middle finger. Hmm. Yeah, you know, it's kind of like if I do like a pinch harmonic and guitar, I have a weak

index finger. I have to do the middle one. Try using both middle fingers. You get a hell of a reaction. Oh, the old finger comes. Try it. Try it with both middle fingers. I'm not, no, I'm not going to do that. Okay. Which animal is the largest land mammal?

Oh, man. Hippo. Hippo. Short for hippopotamus. Hipopatimus. Heap hop. Sidney Sween. I'm sorry, that's largest mammaries.

Elephant. Mammaries. Those are boobs. Blue whale. Oh, damn. Which animal is the largest land mammal? A land mammal. That probably should eliminate the whale ski, but maybe that's the liquor talking.

I don't want to give anything away. I'm going to go with Elefonte. Elefante is correct day. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Nice work. What gaseous element do humans exhale when breathing? Oh, no.

All right. Got this. Unleaded. Nitrogen. Helium. Oxygen. Well, it's got to be oxygen, right? I'm sorry that is incorrect.

Really? We exhale nitrogen. Inhale, oxygen. Never heard that before in my life. If you do it the other way right. on, you're in some serious trouble. Never heard that story. Not dialed into that.

You'll get this one. Okay. But if you're just tuning in, I'm testing my skills against that of a fourth grader here as we celebrate the end of the school year. Who's featured on Mount Rushmore? Ah, been there. I know you have. And you found it underwhelming. Yes, I did.

George Washington. George Harrison. George Foreman and Boy George. Oh, wow. Oh, wait a minute. I thought I was just choosing between George's there. Oh, no. You have to tell me who everyone is on there. Who everyone is on, how do you call it, Mount Rushmore?

One more time, my choices are. So this is A. So here's your group A. Group A. George Washington. Right. George Harrison, George Foreman, and Boy George. Okay.

This is going to be a tough one. I've got to go through a lot of names here. Is it George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Denzel Washington, and Justin Jefferson? Or is it George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln? C. It's that final setup that you make. That is correct. Been there?

Yep. You're doing good here. Long time ago, but I've been there. And yeah, you're right, I was underwhelmed. I like some of those. I like the odds of some of those characters that you mentioned. I like the odds of them being immortalized in another way someday. Sure. A different Mount Rush.

You might put Mount Rushmore of Greatest Wide Receipts. I think he's a little overrated, but who would be your Mount Rushmore of guitar players, Josh? Oh, gosh, this is tough. You know how sports fans love to do this? Who's the Mount Rushmore of basketball, football, quarterback, quarterbacks, hockey? I'm going to piss people off because I know I'm going to forget people. Mount Rushmore of guitar players. We're going to throw a monkey wrench into this test right now because I need and take your time.

Well, Eddie Van Halen, easy. Okay, we're going to go Edward. Randy Rhodes. You wrote a biography about him. Speaking of school, yeah. You wowed your fourth grade class. Seventh grade. You wowed your seventh grade class with a book report on Randy Rhodes.

Yep. God, this is so tough. Paul Gilbert. So good. Okay, after hearing the first three, I'd be shocked if I don't hear a certain name to make up the fourth of your. guitar player Mount Rushmore.

I think I know what you're talking about. You went with Albert Van Halen. Yep, Albert. You went with Randy Road. Yeah. And Pablo Gilberto. Pablo Gilberto. If I don't hear the name that I think I'm going to hear, I'll be shocked.

This is so tough. I'm going to, okay, I'm going to go with a guy that I just think can play anything. No Betancourt. That's one I had mine. Who were you thinking I'd say? This is going to F you up because you're forgetting an obvious one. I wonder if I came up with it. You are not putting Steve Vi?

I wanted to put Steve Vai on there. On the Mount Rushmore of guitar players. Trust me. He's the first name that came to my head. I'm afraid if I have any say in this, you bump Nuno. And you throw Steve Vi in there. I probably should have. Yeah.

Yeah, Steve Vi, I would have slept with him back in the day. I probably still would today. I guarantee you he's banged his guitars. He comes across as a weird dude. We all know he's had sex with his guitar. Yes, yes. We got one more. One more question?

What's my score so far? You have three right and two wrong, as long as I've been keeping up here. Let's see if I can. Even the series? Well, yeah. I mean, let's see if I can go out a winner. If I get this one incorrect, I'll fall back to a 500 record, right? Yeah, you're going to get this.

Okay. What do bees collect from flowers? Taxes, honey, nectar or pollen My choices again are what? I hate bees. I know you do. See, I didn't mean, this shouldn't have been antagonistic.

You read, this should have been left out. I forgot about your hatred of bees. What do bees collect from flowers? Taxes. Honey, nectar, or pollen. Those dang tax collecting bees. They show up every April. I'm going to finish the quiz, I think.

think with four out of six correct because I believe the answer is pollen. Yeah, that's a great answer, and I probably would have said the same thing. Unfortunately, it's nectar. Are you serious? Totally serious. Did you guys know that? Yeah. You did?

Aren't a... I think I was a pollen, too. Well, you know what? Let's look it up then. Jesus, I finished three, three, how do you say that, Josh? Three correct and three incorrect. F me running. Nectar for energy.

Oh, they collect both. So I think we're going to give it to you then. All right. You get both. Yeah, I kick myself in the ass once in a while for not paying attention in school because of moments like this. Didn't I ask people not to get mad at me about the guitar players on that Mount Rushmore? Is there some anger? A couple of people are.

How can you forget this guy? Yeah, Ingevah Malmsteen. There's so many geniuses. Joe Satriani, he came to mind to. Where was another one? John Petrucci? Of course. Yeah, but it's your own personal Mount Rushmore.

Maybe it would have been a little different. I mean, there's a couple that would, Randy Rose and Eddie Van Halen without a doubt. I mean, obviously. Paul Gilbert, probably too. Invee Malstein was brilliant and mind-boggling when you listen to his first few records what that guy could do to a guitar.

But here's where I go with it. Where are the riffs? Where are the hits? Right. That has something to do with it for sure. I think if you're going to sum up... I mean, Marty Friedman, you can put him on that list. Oh, now I'm going to get mental. If you're going to sum up a guitar player's overall skill set, there's got to be riffs, man.

There's got to be songs. Another guy that... I wish Mount Rushmore had more heads on it. Right. Because Vito Brata should be there, too. One of the most underrated guitar players, such interesting rhythms. He did something to us, didn't he? He did.

So yesterday, Josh and I met a listener out in the parking lot. we thought that maybe it was going to be trouble. No, he didn't. Well, you do worry about that. Yeah, that is an interesting start. I immediately was like, ah, gosh. I thought it was going to be trouble.

But before we move on, we just wonder. It's our weed guy. Oh, that's okay then, yeah. Before we move on, we wanted to mention this guy real quick. He contacted you somehow, Trash Daddy Jesus. Yeah, Trash Daddy Jesus. Did he text you on our text? machine and he mentioned that he's our trash guy and I had said well dude you next time you show up

we should we should meet up and so he taxed yesterday and said he was out back and we had an opportunity to talk to him we saw him dump our trash and then he got out the rig and we chatted we just wanted to say word life to uh I already forgot the name trash daddy Jesus trash daddy Jesus cool dude we had a really good time talking to him yeah you guys missed out and this is this is the the conclusion that we came to after having a 10-minute conversation with Trash Daddy Jesus, that dude gets laid. Here's the thing, Dana and Ashley, if you met him, you would attest to this. If Trash Daddy Jesus and I were in a room and he wanted to get some,

and I also wanted to get some, but there wasn't enough some for someone to get, he'd still get some and I'd be lonesome. That's how it worked out. This guy, he could pick whatever you wanted. out there. Total stud. So thank you so much for agreeing to say hello. It was cool to meet the guy. It

was. Again, I asked you not to get mad at me because I was put on the spot about guitar players. Dimebag, Darrell, I agree. Yes, another genius. Chris DeGarmo. Yeah, you see that too? Chris DeGarmo, Warren D. Martini. Yeah, of course. Here's one for you. Do they have to be real, living people?

Can they be fictional? Absolutely. No, they can't be fictional, but just for fun. Someone's text. guess? Yeah. Is it Ralph Machi? Ralph Machia. From Crossroads?

Otherwise known as Eugene Martoni. Was that a Eugene Martone? Wasn't that his name in the in the program? Crossroads? I love, speaking of Steve I. I love Crossroads. I love that guitar showdown man. That movie's so good.

No, it's not. It's terrible. For somebody who loves guitar, I thought it was great. That end scene where Eugene battles Jack Butler. Oh, I can get you there real quick. Quick. Jack Butler's going to like you. And then they go into that guy. Why does that still to this day give me chills when I watch that scene? That actor was so good. I guess I've never learned his name. The guy that played the devil? The devil guy. He's great. If you're a young person, 1986, a really overall bad movie called Crossroads where Ralph Machio broke away from his Daniel the Russo character for a little while to play a New York City kid named Eugene Martone.

who was into the blues and he makes a trip down to the crossroads where Robert Johnson recorded the earliest blues records of all time anyway and he ends up with this partner who has sold his soul to the devil and at the end of the movie it's a guitar duel that settles whether or not Ralph Machio's buddy's soul belongs to the devil or not. Ralph Machio was convinced and he took guitar lessons from like a guy that's kind of known for surf guitar I thought shoot. He's like, I should know the name. Dickie.

Dickie something. Dickie Dunn. God, Dickie Dunn's a sports writer. Yeah, I know. Dickie Dale? Dickie Dale. Is that what it is? That is it.

Where's my bell? Oh, it's over here. I forgot. I can't ring my own bell. That's it. It's arrogant. Marty McFly, that's another good suggestion for the brotherhood. Yeah.

Oh, the pinheads, great band. Nobody was ready for what he brought to that dance. Nobody said Jimmy Page. Jimmy Page. I was just listening to what we were. listening to Zeppelin yesterday, weren't we? The Pinheads? Who are the pinheads? Was that the name of his band?

Who's been? I have known. Marty McFlies. Oh, I don't know. Oh, no. It was Marvin... Marvin... Oh, I'm talking about the audition when they did the audition in the beginning in the first movie. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, I forgot all about that, where Huey Lewis is a judge. You're just too damn loud. We didn't say Jimmy Page, and we were just listening to Zeppelin. You can't win them all. Josh, you said your four.

guitar player Mount Rushmore characters. You set them and we're standing by them. I think they all deserve to be there, but yeah, there's, I mean, there's so many that do. Blind Dog Fulton, Willie Brown. That was Ralph Machio's friend in Crossroads. I do think it's funny, Josh, when you gave your four. They're your personal four. And everyone's like, how did you forget this?

How did you forget that? Well, that's okay. You can put them on your four. No offense to them. Yeah, I don't think there's been one that I would disagree. Eric Clapton. Yeah, it is what it is. It's fun.

And speaking of the blues, you know, we were talking about the movie Crossroads. F me running. I got to say this out loud. We listened to some Zeppelin yesterday off air. Once we get off the program at 9, Josh and I just kind of put on tunes and we do some show prep and whatnot. So we listened to some of the zeppelin yesterday. And it was some of the real bluesy stuff that they put together, wasn't it, Josh? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I haven't heard a couple of those before.

So that inspired me later on yesterday to go back and listen to some old Skinnerd records. And I really do think that one of the finest blues songs ever recorded. Well, I shouldn't say ever recorded because that goes back to like 1900. And it's not like I sit around and listen to Robert Johnson and these guys from the beginning of time. but one of my favorite southern blues type songs. I listened to it yesterday about three, four times. And Skinnerd fans are going to say, oh, hell yeah. The Ballad of Curtis Lowe.

I love that story. I love that song. I love the guitar in that song. Gary Rossington. God dang it, who was the Skinnered guitar player who got mangled in that car wreck and died young? Collins. What was his first name? Jeff?

No, no, no. That's a former co-worker. Alan Collins and Gary Rossington, and they had that chubby dude in the band for a while. I can't think of his name either. The Ballad of Curtis Lowe, if you don't know that song, that is just one of the most beautiful Southern blues-style songs ever, and the story is so good.

I'm a grown man. I've heard the Ballad of Curtis Lowe 3,000 times now in my life, and every time I hear it, I get emotional. Listen to it last night three or four times in a row. Porno Jesus has another suggestion. Prince, I'd agree with that. Incredible guitar player. As a matter of fact, we were talking about Eric Clapton a second ago.

Somebody had asked Eric Clapton once, like, what's it like being the greatest guitar player of all time? And he said, I don't know, you'd have to ask Prince. And there's plenty of guitar players that have said something very similar to that. That guy could play anything. Hello, Syracuse and the world. My name is Prince. And I've come to play with you.

That's how he introed his shows back in the day. I like that. Specifically when he was in Syracuse. He didn't say that in every city? Oh, man. I love that kind of stuff, Josh. Yeah, that's fun. Do you know the ballot of Curtis Lowe?

Maybe if I heard it. I'm sorry, I don't buy name. I got chills just thinking about it. We'll talk to Randy Schaever a little bit later on this morning. We might as well get started and headed in the right direction. I don't think we have any other company aside from Randy. Noel Brad's off today. Nobody likes us.

Beautiful. No, that's okay. I kind of like it when it's just us. Because we don't have to clean the studio or anything like that. I like it. And a special surprise gift will be presented to Randy. Ah, yes, there you go. When we talk at seven.

I knew I was forgetting something. We don't have any company. That'll be fun. But I was thinking there is something special. A surprise gift will be presented to Randy. at 7.30. We'll take a break and come back with this stupid news here in a few minutes. Air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on to Habs podcasters? We're getting into that

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It was crazy. This is full send. Drake weekend in Toronto, that's like, imagine telling me that like 10 years ago. Oh, yeah. You're going to rip with Drake for his album launch, release party in Toronto. Like, I'm not passing that up for anything. Join the party. She went to a mech outlet.

to the game. What is the Mac Aller? Ridiculous. I think it's an excuse to dress up like an idiot and go to a ball. The Full Send podcast. Oh, we're ready. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. We were having some fun earlier. We got to talking about

guitar players. Rock and roll, guitar players. I put Josh on the spot. I asked him if he had to make up his Mount Rushmore of guitar players, who would it be? And it's very, very difficult. Yeah, it was really tough. So many great players over the years. No wrong answers. But Josh came up with Randy Rhodes, Edward Van Halen, Paul Gilbert, and you went with Noon Betancourt. Yeah, it was a toss-up between him and Steve

I and about 500 others. Right. I love that stuff. Very interesting. Bank Examining Jesus. Well, one of the guitar players that you mentioned could easily make that Mount Rush more of yours. You mentioned Joe Satriani. I mean, if there's a great guitar player out there, like Satchel, there's another one from Steel Panther, I could have mentioned him. He was taught by Joe Satriani. Steve I, Joe Satriani. I mean, a lot of the greatest guitar players were taught by Joe Satriani. Just last night, Bank Examining Jesus was in New York City, and he saw Steve I and Joe Satriani play together.

I've never seen that tour. They do that every so often. Years and years ago, is that still called the G3? G3. I think that one year they might even had a G4. Years ago I saw G3 and it was Satriani. It was Vi and it was Eric Johnson. Do you recall Eric Johnson?

The guitar player. Yeah. I had at least one of his solo records. It was that setup. That had to have been 25 years ago, I would guess. at this point. I mean, Kenny Wayne Shepard, Ingvan Malmstein, they were on those tours, John Petrucci, we mentioned

a lot of these guys. Steve Lukather, that's another great guitar player. I think I'm going to see Steve Lukather here in a couple of months. Toto's coming to town. Oh, is it a weekend? I think it's a Thursday. It's Toto, John. Yeah, I know, they're great. With The Romantics.

So that's when I'll probably go get a hot dog. And Christopher Cross. and if you think I am not going to cry like a child when he plays Arthur's theme, you're dead wrong. That is one of my favorite songs ever from probably my favorite comedy ever. Dudley Moore as Arthur from 1980.

That song still is so beautiful to me. Yes, go ahead. The Toto show is going to be Wednesday, August 26th at Canterbury. Wednesday. Yeah. That's even worse. And now another, that's such a great text. A great text message that was sent us to Bank examining Jesus.

Wow, just last night he was off seeing Steve Vai and Joe Satriani in concert. We got to talking about Skinnerd a little bit, Leonard Skinner. And I mentioned this yesterday off air when we were listening to a little bit of Skinnerd and Zeppelin off air. I really do think that you have to call Leonard Skinner. They absolutely have to be in the argument for the greatest rock and roll band that ever lived, especially when you considered that the material that they came up with in what

four or five years as a band before the plane crash? It's unbelievable. Look at your typical band. Give them a five year window. How many hits did they write? Average band, two or three,

four, maybe at the best. Which sounds pretty good, actually. And that would be quite impressive. In four or five years, It's mind-blowing how many terrific rock-and-roll songs, Southern Rock, whatever you want to call it, that they came up with. Most bands, yeah, a couple of hits. The rest is filler. It really is, sadly, but that's a true story.

Skinner, I mean, my God, Sweet Home Alabama, Simple Man, Tuesday's gone, give me three steps, that smell. Call me the Breeze. Saturday Night Special. It varies day to day. But there are days when I'm convinced there's no greater rock and roll song ever recorded than Saturday Night Special by Leonard Skinner. When you consider the drums, the guitar, the storytelling that they were capable of was just beautiful. I don't think there's another band in history. Sure, you might say there are bands that were better, but skill-wise and this and that.

But I don't think there's another band who made such a massive impact in such a such a massive impact and such a a brief period of time. There was no garbage in their set list. There was no filler. No filler. A lot of great if you're just tuning in, we mentioned this earlier. We were kind of like a top of the mind thing. We were naming some great guitar players.

A ton of great ones. I mean, all these deserve to be on the list. Everyone that's texted in a different... I don't think there's one where I thought, I don't know if I'd put that person on the list. Some very good stuff. Thank you for contributing. Oh, so that leads me to this great story. Sorry. I was

lost to thinking about, you know, the awesomeness of Leonard Skinnerd. Listen to this great text from offended millennial Jesus. He said, can I tell you a funny Skinner's story? And of course, I said, what choice do I have? I'm kidding. I said, yes. He said, my dad

saw them way back in the day. They debuted the song, Freebird. That's awesome. My dad said he thought the song was boring, so he went to take a piss and get a beer. He came back during the guitar solo and the whole crowd was going nuts. That's outstanding.

I was just asking Nick this off air yesterday and maybe somebody can help us. How did the Freebird joke start? Where people yell Freebird at every concert? Don't remember. It just became such a thing. Now it's like it's so ingrained in me I think at every concert I go to. Yeah, I don't know. Do you know Dana?

You know a lot of those movie references. Right, yeah. I'm trying to. I'm looking it up right now. I fell in love with Leonard Skinner. I think it was like 2014, 2015, when I saw them at the state fair. I was working at the sanitation department. So we got to go.

They were playing that night and they're like, who wants to go? And I was like, yeah, sure, why not? I guess I've heard a couple songs before. And I was blown away. I was like, oh, this is sweet. I found a little history on the yelling free bird at concerts if you'd like to hear it. We'd love to. So it started, you know, originally because people wanted to hear Freebird, obviously.

So they would yell it out. But it said made a sarcastic shift in the 80s. Mainstream classic rock was firmly established and the emerging underground indie punk and alternative scene looked down on it. Music critics note that hip indie crowds began shouting free bird at alternative shows as a supreme act of irony as if to say, you take your obscure pretentious art so seriously, but you're just a bar band.

Play some basic Southern rock. Oh. Yeah, that obviously caught on. Well, yeah, so and then also it goes on. There's a DJ in the 80s named Kevin Matthews. And he encourages his listeners to go to Florence Henderson, show and relentlessly shout free bird at her. That wasn't very nice.

No. Yeah, why would he do something like that? Finish his halfway in, Jesus said, did you forget about Mark Tramante? Top of his list, but I'm 40. So early 2000s and 90s music is my jam. No, he's an incredible guitar player. We'll get a chance to see him at the half-ass summer bash

on July 16th. Get your tickets now. CFH bass player, Jesus said people yell Slayer at live shows. I haven't heard that, but I guess I don't go to as many shows as I used to. I was at a Winger show a number of years ago with my buddy Rick, who intimidates Josh quite a bit. Very intimidating. Yes. I like him, but I'm scared of him.

Rick and I are at the Winger Show, and Josh knows this. I mean, Winger's got some great, great tunes, but also their foundation, when they first became a band, Winger was a Prague rock band with a lot of artsy, fartsy, 12-minute type songs. like Rush. So Kip Winger was playing a few of those old progressive type Winger songs at this show. It was really interesting because I'd never really heard them play those songs live. And Kip explained it in the microphone, hey, look, we've got these old songs we want to play and we're going to play them. I was excited to hear it.

In between every one of those progressive old songs, there was this guy behind me and Rick who kept shouting. Play 17. Oh, jeez. 17! Play 17! Just kind of like the Freebird thing. The guy was relentless.

For Christ's sake, let the band play with the... After about the fifth time, he hollered it. My buddy Rick said, and it was quiet enough in the venue to where you could hear it. My buddy Rick goes, hey, Kip, play 17 before this jack off behind me craps his pants. And the guy looked at Rick like, are we going to fight? Red Beach, Winger's guitar player. Another brilliant guitar player. Because there's something inside.

All right, the stupid news. What did I say? A gal driving around town with a bag of dope, she got caught by the cops. This was in the southern United States. They're all on dope down there. Oh, and also the gal with the dope made herself out to be a real jackass too,

and I'll explain that to you. What they call here a narcotics team stopped this gal while she was driving down the road. She was wandering all over the place, Cubby. couldn't keep that vehicle going in a straight line. When she was pulled over, the police found out that she goes by the name of Jacqueline. The cops had the body cameras rolling. They had a feeling that Jacqueline was on dope, so they asked her if she'd step out the car and let the canine cop, you know, take a look around the interior of her ride.

And Jacqueline said word. When she was pulling her carcass out the driver's seat, the cops noticed. that she was trying to hide a bag of something, kind of under her purse. So she's got her purse in her arm, and she's kind of trying to hide something underneath. Trying to keep the cops from noticing something. And then like a total clutz,

she smooth dropped that bag of dope onto the floor of her vehicle for everyone to see. Whoops, my bad. My bad. Look away. Was that you, Nick, that told the story about the oney? Oh, dude. Oh, yeah. That was one of my favorites.

High school. Well, let's wrap up this story on. Jacqueline. So she drops her bag of dope onto the floor of her vehicle. She tried to confuse and possibly gross out the cops by claiming that what she dropped was a, quote, feminine product. It wasn't. It was a bag full of four alarm real deal cocaine. Here's some of the body cam audio. Excuse me. Hold on. What are you trying to, what are you doing? This is my feminine time. Okay. All right. Yeah. You want to start recording that? Right there. Let him put that on your Facebook.

life. That's my feminine product, she said. He wasn't buying it. No. It comes in powder for him now. Yeah, you powder it down there. Yeah, sure. She was all done at that point. A little Galcum powder. Put that right down there. I'm sorry? I said a little Galcum

power. Galcum. For ladies only. Once that canine cop did a full sweep of Jacqueline's car, they ended up finding a whole mess of dope and other illegal drug related garbage. Now she's got a Go ahead and answer to some pretty serious charges, trafficking cocaine and such.

I like it sometimes when you can hear in the cop, just he's exasperated, right? Like, okay, all right, you're going to stay, I'm not that stupid. Yeah, I know. Just, just got to be difficult some nights to not completely lose your patience. You can see that video on 93X.com. Appreciate that. I do. You know, we both dated Jackie's. Jackie.

Jack. Jackies are wild. They're fun. You ain't kidding, son. Jackie. Is there a boring Jackie out there? I don't think so, no. I told that Jackie. I told her to watch that drunk driving.

What movie Slapshot? Yeah, they're, they got an extra gear, Jackie's. Yeah, I know what it is. Yeah. Oh, the one-hitter story from high school, one of my favorite memories from high school, in detention. sitting next to a gal that I was pretty tight with by the name of Missy. And in the middle of detention, here comes the principal. You know, we had to turn around to see him as he entered the detention hall.

And he says, Missy, I need to speak with you. And Missy was not interested. Why? Off to a good start there. And he says, just please, I need you to come out into the hallway and talk to me. She's like, I'm already in detention, okay? Well, how much worse could my day get? Okay?

Can this wait till the morrow? Come on. She was just being very difficult about it. And the principal says, I need to speak with you now. Come on out to the hallway, please. And Missy's just frustrated. She grabs her frigging backpack and throws it over one shoulder. She grabs her jacket angrily.

And as she pulls her jacket up off of the back of her chair there in detention, I see something flying through the air and it was suspended animation. It was this some item, shiny item flying through the and the item hits the floor of the detention hall. Ping, ping, ping, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, louder than hell. It was a little marijuana smoking one hitter.

Did you know what it was? Oh yeah, everybody saw what it was. She slyly kind of picked it up. Weep, you didn't see that, puts it in her pocket. Everybody saw it. know the end result of that, but come on, you're already in trouble with the principal, and now you have your pot smoking unit flying through the air in the middle of... sucks.

I'm a late bloomer, but I didn't know what a oneie was until I was 21 years old. Till you were 21y. And I found out in the bathroom of Flameberger. Oh, wow. We got a little drunk, and I was... There's a couple of girls. They were like, hey, coming to the bathroom with us. And I thought I'm a drunk 21-year-old.

Why wouldn't I? And so I went in, they're like, hey, do you want to hit on this oneie? And I said, what's a oneie? And they told me, and I passed. Yeah. In the back of a flameburger. I said no to drugs. You passed on grass.

Oh, I wasn't expecting the end of this text from Bodat Fishing Guy Jesus. He dated a Jackie for 10 years. She'd get drunk and beat the S out of me, L-O-L. I wasn't expecting the L-O-L at that. Well, that's terrible. I'm sorry. It's kind of funny. Yeah, those are going to be fun times.

I'd L-O-L at that myself. Uh, yeah, the Jackie's out there. Step lightly around him. I told her to watch that drunk. It's my first real girlfriend, Jackie. Is that right? Yeah. All right, make sure you tell everyone that you heard it here first.

The story of the dog with two peckers. A double barrel. Lucky guy. Talk about a wiener dog, huh? Okay, Josh. Hey. That's the story of the dog with two peckers. He had a two-pack pink crayon set, Josh.

God, I... So gross. Two rods hanging off of one dog. I got the story for you right here. That's the worst part about having a male dog. The crayon? Yeah. And again, make sure you tell everyone.

You heard it here. We've been made aware once or twice, haven't we, Josh, over the years, about a male human being stricken with what they call here dyphelia, diphalia, diphalia, I think you should say it, diphalia. And then we had a guy come in studio once who had two holes, which I've heard isn't as uncommon as it seems. You mean at the end of his rod?

Yeah. Yeah, he wanted to show us and we had to fight him basically to keep his pants closed. I don't know why he so badly wanted to show us. but we said, no, dude, we'll take your word for it. I've got two holes. Yeah, we heard you the first time. Did he come in for that purpose? I don't know what he was doing this.

Yes. Huh. That's why he came in. Actually, I don't remember meeting him. I remember him texting us about his two anyway. He came in for like to win tickets or something and you're right. He kept wanting to show it out. Somebody must have looked, but you and I just took his word for it.

I mean, I remember meeting him, but I don't remember that it was here. But yeah, he badly wanted to show us his penis. And we were happy to take his word for him. But, yeah, there's some things you'll just trust. That'd be a weird thing to lie about. Agreed. Di-falia. We've certainly heard about male human damn beings that had two PPs for the price of one.

But I believe this is our first case of a double-donged canine. So here's the deal over in Australia at an animal welfare type of joint. A cute little puppy got turned in. A dog nobody wanted got turned in. this dog now goes by the name of Willie Wonka because they're funny over there at the animal welfare joint. Of course, before taking Willie in, the welfare folks gave him a thorough exam. They noticed that Willie wasn't putting a lot of weight on one of his back legs. And that leg had a little extra cargo hanging off of it.

And by damn, they were shocked to realize that that extra cargo was Willie's backup pecker. On his leg? Yeah, hanging off of his leg. I thought it was pretty funny that they blur the back of backer up, which I actually kind of appreciated. And the blur didn't hide the pink, did it? No, it really didn't. They could have just put one of those black bars over that thing.

The people who turned Willie into doggy death row, they said they thought it was some type of an extra tail swinging off of that back leg. But no, it was what they call here a by God bonus penis. that is in such a weird position. It's in a weird spot. Yeah, it is. As a matter of fact, Ashley, now that you bring it up, it says here there have only been four prior cases of multi-rodd dogs in the history of life on earth.

There's only been four prior cases. And they say Willie is the only one where the extra Johnson wasn't anywhere near the normal one. usually when a dog or a human being has an extra rod it's very close to the original unit in this case willies is over here on his damn leg and no one could no one can finger out why yeah what's going on it is a very very cute puppy he's adorable yes he needs willie wonka josh that's his name yep i get it i would think if if i had two penises and god willing someday it'll happen with technology and whatnot

I would want it to be in a different place for positions and stuff like that. They're right next to each other. Maybe on your forearm or your forehead. Some place you could cover up. Maybe on your elbow. I think that would be a bonus for sure. But yeah, I wouldn't want it like on my forehead.

All right. So the animal welfare people put Willie under an x-ray and they found out that the extra dung was non-functioning. And right now a few older guys in her listening audience just said, you're not alone, puppy. They found out that that dong was non-functioning. So it was decided that they'd heat up a sharp knife and hack that dead weapon smooth off of Willie's leg.

It wasn't doing him any good back there swinging around. They cut the leg off too. That back leg was in terrible shape for one reason or another. Willie's doing fine now. He feels a hell of a lot better. That's a great icebreaker if you're dating for the owner of the dog. That's a great answer to a prompt. There's a lot, like one of the most common prompts is ask me about dot dot dot dot.

That'd be so fun. I'm not sure I understand. Why my dog is missing a leg. Oh, because he had a second penis. On dating apps, they have little things there to start a conversation, a prompt. Like, you know, tell me something and embarrassing that happened, you know, that type of stuff. That's a great story. Yeah.

It sounds kind of annoying. Did you guys like that when you were on dating apps? I never messed around with the prompts, no. Oh, you didn't? No. You didn't fill out the prompts? No. That's crazy.

I would never swipe on somebody that doesn't have them filled out. Well, it ended up okay for me, Ashley. Yeah, your wife, she kind of got the short end of the stick on that. She definitely did. She should have found a guy that filled out the prompts. Willie, what's that? I was just going to say, like, I don't know if I'd bring that up, Ashley. Like, before you even met a person.

Really? Maybe they think I was kind of weird for that. I would think it's hilarious. And you know, nobody thinks I'm weird. I'd want to know more. Tell me about this second penis. Yeah. How does this happen?

Give me detailed. Willie Wonka, the dog with two peepees. He's doing all right. He no longer looks like a perverted circus side show anymore. He's a normal three-legged dog. And he's having a good time. And that extra pipe, that Willie had on his leg is now his favorite chew toy.

Yeah, I can see why. He won't go anywhere without it, they say. You want to hear something disgusting about a dude who had Dos Johnsoneros? Yes. Because we mentioned there's human beings out there who have had Di Phalia. So here's a dude. I think he lived out in Los Angeles. He had two peckers.

Someone asked him about living with that. issue. He said it was the bee's knees. He said, Josh, he could ejaculate through both rods simultaneously even when only one was being pulled on. That troubles me to learn that. Yeah, that troubles me. That's terrible. But he, now he's down to just one like the rest of us. He had one of them burned off by a doctor because he says he was eviscerating all of his girlfriends that they couldn't bear the pain that's the thing i mean just one can make quite the mess i mean if it's multiple directions he says his girlfriends were all they had to crawl home it's like the spread gun in contra would you oh boy i love that game by the way that sounds cool but it's like it's you get it

and shoots in three different directions oh no yeah did you and your uncle ever get that game going by the way The Contra game? My uncle? Wasn't that your bit where somebody asked you to play Contra? Oh, yeah. I mean, you call each other Uncle and Nephew because he's about your guys' age. But yeah, every Sunday we tweet, hey, do you want to come over and play Contra? And you forgot that bit.

You do it every Sunday. Yeah, I used to follow you along on Twitter. Ashley? Yeah. Some guy has two penises. No, thank you. Okay, you already answered the question. No, thank you.

You turn it down? I don't need to deal with that. Do you want to know ahead of time or? Yeah. warn me. It does seem like something you bring up before intimacy. That is way too big of a surprise to not warn somebody. You know how most guys have one penis?

I've got two penises. You'd have to broach that topic, I think. I mean, what do you say after that? Neat. And then just leave or coast them? Good luck with that, man. You wouldn't want to see them? Oh, see it darn it.

Show me. Yeah, you just said okay. Can I at least see? You say this. This, Ashley. Show them to me and then get out of here. Yeah. I'm sure he's used to that.

Yeah, or if he's weird about it, this one's my favorite. Oh, sure. Yeah, the guy might ask you, which one do you like? Lefty or righty? Neither. Let's make our way through another one of these. These here are the type of stories that are real head scratchers, Cubby. Difficult to believe, but it's more common than you think.

a dude in absolutely terrible Russia. F me. He lived for a smooth year with a five-inch wooden branch jabbed in his eye socket, and he says he didn't know it was there. You know what I'm saying? Don't fully understand these. Uri!

Pretty typical Russian name, isn't it? Yuri. It says here two years ago, Yuri, who was 50 years old already, two years ago he was chopping up maple branches in his garden. Oh, no. He suddenly felt a sharp pain in his left eye. He wasn't wearing any goggles or sunglasses or nothing. Yuri thought that a chunk of one of the branches that he was chopping up must have traveled up and smacked him in the eyeball. But it didn't hurt too badly. After a while,

so he said, F it. He thought it was just, like I said, he thought a little piece of wood just smacked him in the eye socket and that was it. After that day, Josh, do you know what eventually came into play? What came into play? Time. Yeah. Time passed. A year came and went. Yuri forgot all about the silly incident there with his stupid maple branches. His left eye would hurt now and again. He did ask a doctor or two about it, but they'd say, hell, I don't know, get out of here. You know, get over it. So what? Your eye hurts. They didn't think much of it. But you folks know this song and dance. You've heard these stories before. The pain got worse. The dumb bastards he suddenly couldn't see out of his left eye. A doctor finally took a real close look at Yuri's ugly Russian face,

and they found that old tree branch buried in Yuri's orbital hole. That's pretty gross. New guys in the corner puking his guts out. And that's when Yuri said, oh, yeah, the branch had hit me in the eye. I remember that now. I just cannot see that happening to me. Like usual, when these effing bizarre stories are told, there comes a point where the doctor tells the patient that the object could have killed him dead. The doctor told Yuri, if that branch had traveled a little deeper, it would have meant instant death. Yeah, that tree branch, I guess, was only a hair away from stabbing Yuri straight through

his brain pan. A surgeon gently fingered that old branch out of Yuri's mind, and he's all good now. He says he feels pretty good. Oh, I bet. That's wonderful. That'd be quite the relief. Yeah, for years. That kind of thing just keeps happening.

He thought that a piece of that branch had just, you know, smacked him in the eye. No. It went all the way in there, son. F me. Sports. On the 93 eggs half-assed morning show. The Colorado hop on it. Hey, guys, DMA. Mack.

Sad day. Another brother gone. All I'm going to say at this point, if you're struggling out there, no matter what, just reach out for some help. It's a sad day. Press and peace, Claude. Just absolutely shocking, learning yesterday that Claude Lemieux is gone, and the police are saying it was a suicide.

That was the voice of Darren McCarty, who was a bitter rival of Claude Lemieux's back with. and the Colorado Avalanche and Detroit Red Wings were bitter, bitter opponents in the 90s. Claude Lemieux, 60 years old. A lot of us just saw him on television a couple three nights ago at game three of the Montreal North Carolina series. Claude walked a torch of some sort of some tradition they have in Montreal. I'm not familiar with it, but he walked a torch out to the middle of the ice or something to commemorate the series. Of course, Claude won a cup with the Canadians in 1986.

This is just so shocking and devastating. I feel so terrible for his family and his friends. We're going to get into this at 7.30 with Randy Shaver because this is just a terrible, terrible thing. One of the all-time greats, one of the fiercest competitors the NHLs ever seen, Claude Lemieux, at only 60 years old. This one grabs me. Yeah, I think everybody, right?

It's so sad, especially, you know, you see the headline at first that he passed. He's like, oh my gosh, he's only 60 years old, and then you learn what happened. Son of a bitch. It's sad that somebody would be in that spot. And we'll get into the details of what we do know about it at 730 with Randy Schaever. But Claude Lemieux represents my favorite era

of the National Hockey League. Man, in the 80s and 90s, it was gritty. It was nasty. The rivalries were real. And you played the audio, that incident with Chris Draper. one of the most infamous episodes in NHL history. So Claude was loved and deeply hated.

That's the role he played, and he played it damn near better than anybody ever has. So we'll move on. We'll get to that at 7.30 with Randy Shaver. If you hadn't heard, Claude Lemieux at 60 years old, is gone. Twins lose yesterday in Chicago. Of course, there's going to be a game seven between the Spurs and the Thunders. Jesus, crime. Wemba, Yama.

Josh's news reports coming up here in just a couple of minutes. 93. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life.

That's where our friends at standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work, and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer.

Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. suffer call bialke law today 763 571 2410 or go to bialkylaw.com that's b i a lk-k-e-law dot com and it spells relief for you one night with stony one night with stony shout out full send oh bro what's your name bro sonny what we've been sitting here for like an hour together i know your name what's your name go funny i can't guarantee anything all i can guarantee is that you're going to be entertained i'm a professional i'm here to interview so the whole interview you ask me what I like better, Burger King or McDonald's. All right, and we are going to wrap

up on that note. Thank you, Steve, so much. That was amazing. Burger King. One Night with Stine. One Night with Stine. One Night with Stine. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. 93X half-assed morning show. Nice. Nice. Nice.

My concern is that. He's a good. And it's very obvious. A man was arrested for driving under the influence last week after rear-ending another driver right in front. of a clearly marked police car. Right in front of him, huh? Scratch that.

He was driving the clearly marked police car. We've got a drunk cop running around town? Allegedly so. The Highlands County Florida deputy was patrolling in his squad car shortly after 7 a.m. Monday when he somehow failed to notice a stopped F-150, sitting in a right turn lane, and he plowed right into it. Thankfully, no one was injured, but investigators said the deputy's judgment didn't improve after the crash, allegedly deciding the best next step was to leave the scene. Authorities later tracked him down at a local high school.

He couldn't stand straight. You know, he kept doing the swaying thing, and then he was waving his arms. You know it's a rough day when the guy who normally asks, have you been drinking, ends up answering the question himself. The Florida Highway Patrol investigated the incident and arrested the deputy on charges of DUI and leaving the scene of a crash. That probably is going to put a lid on his policing career. Didn't you think?

Yeah, I think. He's probably done with that. It would be a mall cop somewhere. A man was arrested for driving under the influence last week after passing out behind the wheel right in front of a clearly marked police car. Actually, scratched that. He was driving the clearly marked police car that he had just stolen from a cop. 38-year-old John Mack of suburban Chicago is facing a butt ton of charges after turning a Key West patrol cruiser into his personal party wagon over Memorial Day weekend. Kent. Mack had been drinking at a local bar when he decided a police cruiser looked like the

perfect change of venue. Choosing to dabble in some grand theft auto with government property, Mack took the patrol car from an officer working off duty at a bar. Surveillance video from just before 6.20 p.m. He was hammered at 6.20. Showed Mack leaving the pool bar with two friends and hovering near the patrol vehicle before hopping inside. He then tossed the cruiser into drive, nearly clipped his companions and took the squad for a boozy little lap around the parking lot. Well, that joyride didn't last long. The drunken detour ended outside a nearby restaurant where he admitted he'd had anywhere from three to six coronas, a range that'll get you anywhere between buzzed and a booking photo

where you've drank enough to hump ugly. Police say he failed a field sobriety test, refused a breathalyzer, and wasn't even illegally allowed to drive in the first place. he didn't have a valid driver's license. That friggin' guy, huh? Yeah. Yeah, that freaking guy. Stole a cop car.

I mean, I get the allure. But you'd hope maybe even a buddy would say, dude, what are you doing? Maybe they didn't have time or they just thought he's a lost cause. I don't think he has any buddies. Here's an unfortunately sobering statistic. According to data from the FBI and Mad, there are nearly 347,000 drunk drivers on the road on an average day in the U.S.

Oh, I don't like that. I don't like that stat. Most offenders drive drunk at least 80 times before they are arrested. Half of those in Coon Rapids. Oh, no, no. I'm sorry to tell you, Ashley. Everybody's drunk driving. Facts are facts, Ashley. You live in a very dangerous place to drive.

Did you say that this cop, oh, pardon me, this guy who stole the cop car? Did you say that he got to a point where he wasn't afraid to F ugly? Yeah, you know, six beers for some people, probably myself. I don't even know if I could. Yeah, we've all been there. Achieve the bodily function you'd need for that. It's six beers. I'm a lightweight.

You tapped into one of my favorite slogans. Yeah. I remember the first time I heard that set about someone. We were hanging around one night talking about an old buddy named Donnie. People were recollecting old stories about Donnie. And one guy said, yeah, when that some bitch drank, he wasn't afraid to F ugly. You ever get that drunk, Ashley? Oh, yeah.

Everyone's been there. Yeah, everybody gets there. It just depends on how much it takes or what they're drinking. Remember the old joke about the gal? She's driving home and the cop pulls her over and walks up to the passenger door, pardon me, to the driver's side door and the cop says to the lady, are you drunk? And she says, why?

Is there a big ugly dude in my passenger seat right now? A man pulled over after sweating. Whirving all over the road. He tried an unusual legal strategy after failing a breath test, a religious exemption. Police in New Zealand stopped the 53-year-old at 6.45 p.m. Saturday, May 2nd after he crossed the center line multiple times, moments after registering a blood alcohol level more than three times the legal limit, he offered a defense that was anything but orthodox, telling officers the alcohol he consumed was altar wine at mass, therefore shouldn't count because it was the blood of Christ. Christ. As it turned out, traffic laws don't include a

sacramental exemption and authorities weren't prepared to forgive his trespasses. You know, I've never used Jesus as an excuse for anything. I haven't either. Yeah. I don't think you're supposed to. A lot of folks go there. They know what they do. They go that route. They use it as a defense. And it's the oddest thing to me. I've never brought Jesus into the mix in any of my personal problems, but that's just how I operate. Yeah, I hear what you're saying, where there's folks that say, hey, I'm a churchgoer. And you're like, okay, well, go ahead, ride off on my bike. I didn't realize that.

I guess it's yours now. It's unclear whether he expected. Ride off on my bicycle. I'm sorry, I did not notice that you are a Christian. Yeah. You should have said something. I would have handed it to you without any resistance. You are entitled to whatever you like.

And peace be with you. Yes. It's unclear whether he expected that argument to hold up in court. but it apparently didn't perform any miracles on the side of the road as the cops took him to jail. Took him to jail. Here's a look at some of the new movies and streaming releases this week, featuring psychological nightmares, wartime pressure cookers, accidental criminals, alternate history space races, and a John Travolta adaptation with a title

which sounds like it was generated by a random word machine. Usually you should never start in the back, but we're risking it today. with backrooms, a sci-fi horror thriller about a therapist whose patient mysteriously vanishes into a dimension beyond reality. Meanwhile, pressure takes viewers into the nerve shredding 72 hours before D. Day as General Dwight D. Eisenhower faces a decision which could alter history forever, launching the largest amphibious invasion ever attempted or wait and risk handing the war over to that douchebag Hitler. In tuner, a gifted piano tuner discovers the same obsessive precision used to perfect concert instruments also happens to be useful for cracking safes. On a lighter note, comedian Nate Bargettzi stars in The Breadwinner,

a comedy about a supermom who lands a major shark tank deal and becomes the family's primary provider while her husband struggles to adjust to life as a stay-at-home dad. Then on streaming star star star star star, city on Apple TV expands the for all mankind universe by shifting the spotlight to Soviet cosmonauts, engineers, and spies as they race America to the moon

in an alternate timeline. Also on Apple TV, based on the children's book by John Travolta, propeller one-way night coach follows an eight-year-old aviation fanatic who spends his happiest days hopping across America on connecting flights with

his mother in 1962. From the silver screen, To your speakers, here's a couple of artists you'll find on the latest 93X.com, notable new releases post, spotlining, the new music hitting the rock world this week, starting with Shine Down's eighth studio album, which they're calling eight. You can catch Shine Down Live, August 21st at Treasure Island Amphitheater with Coheed and Cambria. It sounded like a pretty good song. Yeah, it's definitely Shine Down, right?

I mean, they've got a recipe for success. I'm a little disappointed in the album title. But, you know, they're going to workshop that one a little bit longer, maybe. Yeah, I guess I don't know. Maybe after you come on with seven of them, you run out of ideas. Yeah, they just can call it eight. People don't buy it. Who cares?

Call it eight. Sparta returned this week with the same aggressive post-hardcore punch they've built their name on with the sixth studio album, cut a silhouette. After releasing a single with Father Dave Grohl in 2021, Violet Grohl follows up her 2023 guest appearance on the Food Fighters single Show Me How with her debut album, Be Sweet to Me, featuring Hollywood Nice Guy, Keanu Reeves on bass and background vocals, Dog Star, follow up 2023 somewhere between the power lines and palm trees with their fourth LP and Second Sense reuniting six years ago with All In Now. If you want to stay up on the latest rock releases every week, make Fridays stop on 93X.com.

part of your routine with the notable new releases post or follow the playlist on Spotify. The fourth annual Lids for Kids Helmet Fest happening tomorrow at the Helmerson Sports Center in Little Falls. From 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., the first 350 kids up to age 16 get a $100 gift card toward the purchase of a new helmet. There's free admission, an ATV, big air tour show starting at one, and you can grab some wings, burgers, and things from Lilies, the fourth, annual lids for kids helmet fest kicking off at 10. Ashley, did I send that to you to put on the website maybe a while ago? Possibly a while ago. I'll check.

And if it's not up there, I will get it up there. She's going to check it out, Josh. That's what she does. She'll check it. Shout out to one of the nicest and most positive guys around paper hauling Jesus. Today is his Friday. Two weeks of vacation coming up. Whoa.

Congratulations to Alexis on her last day of high school. today and all the class of 2026 in Coon Rapids from her proud father works in the same building as Josh Jesus. Savage Beast Jesus text in looking for a shout-out in his 22nd wedding anniversary today. Not to his wife, he says, because she doesn't listen, but to all the doubters out there who he said can suck it. They didn't think they were less this one. They didn't. Happy 40th to Andy from Lindsay. Happy birthday to Big Rig Fenders Jesus, turning another year handsome on Sunday.

and happy birthday to the lovely and talented, more anxiety than hear Jesus from the wife. And that's 93X News. Randy Shaver. On the half-assed morning show. Love you. Straper is the victim. And it was a rotten shot right from behind. That's his shots inactive.

Darren McCarty said before. Hey guys, DMAC. Sad day. Another brother gone. All I'm going to say at this point, if you're struggling out there, no matter what, just reach out for some help. It's a sad day. Press in peace, Claude.

Well, Randy Schaever, here we are on F-Off Day, Friday. And it's not our intention to bring the F-off day mood down right away, but the news of Claude Lemieux's suicide, I think, really shook folks yesterday. As it should. I was shook, especially just seeing the guy on television the other night at the Canadian's playoff game. I think it was like game three or something. brought him out there.

It was game three. He performed some type of ceremonial torch carrying into the rink there for game three of the Canadian's Hurricane Series. And like a lot of folks, I think I hadn't thought about Claude Lemieux in a while and seeing him on my television got me thinking about memories of his career, some good, some bad. And then just a couple days later, he's gone. and it was a suicide,

which is always so difficult to understand and difficult to take. Well, from what I read yesterday, he suffered from depression. So, you know, that's part of, part of his situation is that he, you know, he had some dark days. and sometimes those dark days lead to things that you never wish for, obviously.

He was found in Florida at a furniture store. I believe it was a business that he owned. Yep, family business. Family business. He's got grown kids. I think his kids are grown, but that doesn't change the impact of this. I'm sure what they're feeling is indescribable. But, I mean, terrible, tragic ending to Claude Lemieux's life, a guy who made a massive impact on the National Hockey League.

Like I said, some good and some bad. He was your classic instigator. Not necessarily a fighter, but an instigator. And there was a difference back in the day. In Claude Lemieux's day, there was a difference. There were guys like Ken Lindsman and Pat Verbeek and. Dino Cicerelli, who weren't necessarily fighters, but they were the guys that would start trouble.

That was their role. And that wasn't Claude's only role. The guy could play. And he especially proved himself to be so valuable in the playoffs for the Montreal Canadiens when he was young for the Colorado Avalanche, New Jersey Devils. He won four cups, one with Canadians, two with New Jersey, one with Colorado.

And, of course, as a lot of hockey, fans know the rivalry that Colorado and Detroit had in the mid-90s was one of the fiercest friggin rivalries sports has ever seen. And his hit on Chris Draper was one of the most horrific cheap shots in hockey history, which makes me want to ask myself, why did I love it so much? You know what I mean? But Chris Draper is the victim, and it was a rotten shot right from behind. 1996 playoffs.

There was a documentary made about that rivalry and that hit. ESPN had a series a few years ago called Unrivaled. I'm sure you can still find it somewhere. I pulled it up yesterday. I watched about half of it. It's so good. It's so good. I mean, just hockey fans are having a tough time with this.

I mean, Claude was loved and he was deeply hated. He was such a character. character. And I said earlier, you know, he represents, I said earlier, he represents my favorite era of the NHL in the 80s and 90s when rivalries were so deep and dark. And the play was so physical. So it's kind of a sad feeling to see one of those characters from that era gone and gone so tragically. I've read some quote he had where he said, yeah, a lot of people hate me, but I got four Stanley Cups. Oh, boy.

Drafted by the Canadians in 83, played 1,215 games in the National Hockey League. That's a long career. What was it? Was it a full 20 seasons, something like that? It was in that neighbor. He played for a long time. 1,77 penalty minutes.

That's a lot of shame. Yeah. And like I was saying, the heat on Claude Lemieux in 96 when he was playing for the Colorado Avalanche was just off the charts. Chris Draper's face after that hockey game. I'll never forget seeing his face in the locker room on television. Of course, I wasn't there. But, I mean, he mangled Chris Draper.

They had to have reconstructive surgery. Yeah. That's how bad it was. But that was just kind of the game. And that was the role that Claude Lemieux. played. He ended up being an agent. That was news to me. Listeners telling me... I think he was. I think it was Erickson X. He was, yeah. That's what a listener just texted me. I was unaware of the fact that he was

an agent for Joel Erickson X, Erickson Eck, a player we talked about just yesterday. Carolina Hurricanes goaltender, Fred Anderson, worked with Claude Lemieux. Claude was his agent. So my mind is kind of scattered here. I'm trying to put my thoughts together on Claude Lemieux's career. And so sorry if I'm a little all over the place. I think a lot of people are. The poor guy is gone. But I mentioned that instigator role, which still exists.

But all of that nastiness, you know, the National Hockey League has slowly but surely been trying to wipe that out of the game. But that was Matthew Barnaby, you know, some of the names had come up. Maybe Barnaby doesn't qualify because he was a regular fighter. I'm more focused on the guys who just played that instigator role. Esa Tickenin, one of the greatest of all time. It was frustrating just to watch Esa Tickenen run his mouth on the ice because you knew what he was doing.

was doing it against your team. You wanted to choke the guy. S. It's all-time great for the Edmonton Oilers. Theo Fleury, wildly talented player. But he was that guy that would jab you in the kidneys and slash you in the back of the Achilles. Kenny Lindsman, the rat, or the other names that fall under that category. So what a horrible deal.

If you have a chance, if you don't know that documentary. Unrivaled? Mm-hmm. Dana said he watched half of it. Check it out. It'll tell you the story way better than I can because I'm just kind of scrambling here. But...

Yeah, we're going to finish it today. I'll be damned. It's just crazy. It's like a whole different world. It is. When you look back at the way... When you look back at how nasty some of those rivalries got,

it is a different world than what we see today. Some of those brawls look like it's WWE damn near. You know? Like, that guy's just coming out of nowhere, goalies. flying into each other. You know, if I remember correctly, so it's 96,

he puts the lick on Draper and puts a target on his back, Claude Lemieux. The Avalanche win the series the following game. And speaking to Dino Cicorelli, we were at the bar last night, and when we started talking about Claude Lemieux, of course, we started talking about Dino Cicorelli, who I mentioned him. Dino was unbelievable, talented player, but also he was that type of a guy.

And we started talking about Dino's famous comment, Dino was playing for the Red Wings during that Lemieux Draper series. And after this series was over, someone put a mic in Dino's face. And he said about Claude Lemieux, I can't believe I shook that Fers hand. So then it was the following playoff year. If my memory serves me correct, the following playoff year, the two teams met again. And that's when the Detroit Red Wings said, we don't even care if we win this game. We're taking Lemieux out.

And they did. and the video of Patrick Waugh sailing. Yeah, flying through the air. Darren McCarty, who you heard in the audio there, Darren McCarty, you know, he and Claude became friends when their career was over, and you guys all know that about hockey players. A lot of the nastiness you see on the ice is left on the ice.

You heard Darren McCarty say, this is a great loss, you know. The following year is when they turned on Lemieux. McCarty's beating the piss out of Lemieux. both goaltenders, of course. They got to get involved. I mean, this is it. We got to show that we're standing up for our teammates.

Mike Vernon and Patrick Waugh come racing towards each other. And somehow, what ends up like sideways? He could cross body. Yes, Arne Anderson full cross body block. I mean, it was madness. But it was so effing fun to watch. It was so beautiful. I loved the grittiness and the darkness of the national hockey league.

league back then. Oh, geez, Louise. I don't know where to close this conversation out, but I'll be damn. All right, Randy, we can go in a happier direction. And it specifically deals with you now, Randy Shaper. A listener. Okay. All right. Oh, you're going to like it. Don't be so suspicious right away. I'm always suspicious. Understood. A listener. Anytime you say nice in my name, I get very suspicious. Because everyone knows that you're not nice. That's right. You're setting me up for something.

Nice hair. You've got a nice hair. You got a great ass. A listener has sent us. Do you work on your behind? I do, yes. A listener has sent you a present. Oh, no.

No, no. You have nothing to worry about. Have Dana diffuse it. That's what Dana's here for. I open all the prison letters. Dana, breathe in this powder. Let us know if it's safe. And I will be bringing,

this is all very fitting because come Sunday, you'll be having your giant gala at Medina ballroom. Yeah. Your Randy Shaver, Cancer Research, fundraiser, gala. And then Monday's your golf tournament

out there at Rushree. So I'll be able to present this to you on Sunday at the gala. Okay. What is the listener's name, Josh? I'll try anything twice, Jesus. He has created a beautiful, and I'm telling you, you're going to put this on your mantle at home. He has created an absolutely beautiful Randy Shaver bobblehead doll.

Oh, for a Pete's sake. Yeah. Oh, here I'll send you a picture. Okay. The picture's great. Yeah, good idea, Josh. He made a Josh and Nick bobblehead doll, I don't know, a year ago or so, and they're just hilarious, and they're so well made. This guy's got tremendous skills.

So your bobblehead commemorates an infamous incident from your golf tournament a few years ago. Can you possibly come up with what might have happened at your go? Of course. I went into the pond. You drove a golf cart into a pond. You damn near drowned yourself and a camera operator. That's correct. The bobblehead doll depicts the famous picture of you in the pond with the lid of the golf cart visible above the water line.

and you with your arms in the air as if you're saying, how in the hell did this happen? Josh is going to send you the picture. It's so well done. Thank you. I'll try anything twice, Jesus. And I'll be handing this to you.

Awesome. Yes. You may even want to show it off on stage Sunday night at the gala. He didn't have your address. You won't even give us your address. He had to send it here. We don't even have his real phone number.

We just have his burner number. So Josh is sending you some pictures right now. I took three pictures for you. We think you're really going to like it. All right. Here's a text message from, Show Me Your Balloon Not, Jesus. With probably the dumbest question I've heard today,

when is Randy going to invite, when is Randy going to invite Half Fast Morning Show listeners to his golf tournament? Don't be stupid. Randy would never do that. That looks really cool. What are you doing? Looking at the bobblehead?

I am. I'm looking at it, yeah. Randy knows better than to invite the half-ass morning show crowd to his golf tournament. There would be topless women and beer bongs and pot smoking. He doesn't need those aggravations. What if we flip crowds? The people that golf go on our booze crews and the people that go on our booze crews go to the golf tournaments. Can you imagine?

That'd be an experiment for sure. That golf course would be burned to the ground. A lot of divvets. Yeah. There'll be a lot of divvets. Oh, yeah. But that's a good idea. Let's switch crowds.

There you go. Randy Schaber, do you mind if we put a picture of your bobblehead on our 93X website? Of course not. Yeah, you can do it. It's very nice. He even combed a little bit of gray into your hair. I know. I saw that.

Look at that. That's well done. Very nice. All right. Yeah, thanks for the bobblehead. dolls that he made for Josh and I. I have mine on my bar downstairs and

looks a lot like me. Yeah, very nice. Getting excited for Sunday and Monday. Tell us everything that's going on. My man, Marcus Felino is playing golf on Monday morning. Oh, cool. Oh, awesome.

Yeah, very excited to have Marcus come out. Oh, I bet he could windmill a driver. Yeah. I bet he knows what he's doing. I'm sure. Fun. Yeah. Yeah, so Sunday night We'll be at the gala

There at Medina and there'll be a silent auction And we're raising money and we'll The auction actually is open right now You guys probably got your emails Yep And then Monday when we talk to you Monday You'll be on your cell phone at the golf course Yeah, you guys will have to

I hate to do this over the radio here But you have to call me about 745 Because it takes a little bit to get everybody out On the golf course and then I'm able to go So a couple of big days coming up for Randy Shaver. Yeah. All right.

Well, of course, there's going to be a game seven between the Spurs and the Thunders. I'm sure the NBA is playing with themselves at the thought of a Saturday night. It's a Saturday night do-or-die elimination game between these two clubs. I'm sure the NBA is very pleased with that. Yeah, fun. San Antonio whipped Oklahoma by a good 25 points or so last night. They looked really good. You thought she would be over, didn't happen.

Yeah. I just keep going back to the guard play for San Antonio. I know when Yamah is such a great player, but when I look at Castle and Harper, Deer and Fox did not play well last night, but you can put him in that mix. Those three guards are just so good, especially the two young guys. I mean, Fox is not going to be there forever. I can see them trading Fox and starting Dylan Harper because Harper, you know, two years, three years from now is going to be one of the best players in the league.

They're just built right now to be there for a long time. They're just really good. And, you know, Oklahoma City is the same way. We've talked about it at nauseam. But these two teams are just, they're just heavyweights, man. They just go after each other. It's fun. It's a great rivalry.

This is going to be one of the great rivalries in the NBA. over the next five years or so, these two teams. Before you make that bet on game seven, Randy Schaever, with your derelict gambling problem. Before you make that bet on game seven, road teams have won four in a row and six of the past game sevens in the conference final final.

That's kind of interesting. Yep. By the way, we just got a text message from a listener who says, hey, Randy, you can't keep us all out as far as half-ass morning show listeners mixing with Randy Shaver's elite

cancer research crap the listener says you can't keep us all out he's invading your golf tournament on Monday by volunteering he found a loophole he snuck his way in he's going to be bothering the hell out of Joe Mauer all day long

we'll be able to tell which volunteers him yeah hey Joe Mauer hey Joe hey Joe Mauer hey Joe remember you want the MVP can I get a picture Do you still talk to Justin more, no? You know, we talked yesterday. It's like a 93x reunion. I've got Zach Perisi playing on Monday.

We've got Marcus is playing. What about Depot? Dick Bramer is playing. Depot emailed me two days ago and said, you know what, the schedule doesn't work because of minicamp. So he's not going to be there. Which is too bad because I love having him out there. He's great.

Dick Bramer is going to be there. He's like Dick Brammer's playing in the morning. Oh, awesome. All of these folks with 93X connections. Janelle Klein. She's playing in the afternoon. By the way, 93X is going to have a hole. Do you know what I mean by that?

Yeah. Yeah. I was hoping I said that correctly. We're going to be sponsoring a hole. So, you know, stop by and we'll give you a bumper sticker or a condom or something. I think we probably threw all those away, hopefully. We don't have any of the 93X condoms. anymore, I don't think.

We had a clever little saying on it. I mean, how we got them, we ordered them once, I think, and they ordered a million of them. We had them forever. Yeah, we did. I thought it was pretty cool in high school when I got my hands on one. Did you really? Yeah. We gave away a lot of rubbers.

Didn't use it, but, you know, it's cool to have. Never had the opportunity. I used one once, and it popped like a zit on prom night. We've joked about it before, but it's true. They were kept in the same bin as the 93x pins back in the day, and I couldn't figure out that decision. It popped. Real quick, back to the Oklahoma City San Antonio series. We talked yesterday about how a lot of folks who cover the National Basketball Association,

they just can't stop deep-throating that Wemba-Yamba kid, it's obscene. It is. No matter what the dude does, they put a corny, heroic, positive spin on it. Here it is, Josh, just like we predicted. Printed right here in front of me. It says here, Victor Wembe Yamba refused to talk to the media after game five. But in game six, who wants to finish? He let his play do the talk.

That's exactly the quote. Yep. Now, it ain't over yet. A lot of people said that. It's not over yet. It goes on to say, okay, Wemba Yamba chose rather to talk to his teammates after the Spurs game five loss. Of course, you get to paint him out to be, you know, this selfless leader.

His words in the locker room, get ready for the dramatics now, his words in the locker room laid the ground word. for the Spurs victory last night. So now he's a prophet or a war general or someone like that. Man, do they know how to blow things out of proportion? Hilariously, did you know that Shea Gilgis, speaking of ad nauseum, again, you know,

the Shea Gilgis Alexander and Victor Wembeyanba glazing is so out of control. Were you aware of the fact that FTA, Shea Gilgis Alexander, filed a cease and desist order against a company that's been making fun of his flopping? No.

I like that they're not backing down. They're not. So this all started, I guess. Houston Rockets ballplayer, Dylan Brooks. He mocked Shea Gilgis Alexander by sharing something on social media. It's some company made

like an operation-style board game. Remember Operation where they... And every time you come near the body, a buzzer goes off, right? Or if you, whatever, you touch the. You're trying to take the body pieces out. Yeah, you try to remove the bone. That was a fun game.

Operation. So some company made an operation-style game mocking Shea Gilgis Alexander's flopping and how you can't even come anywhere near the guy before the referees put him at the free throw line. It's got like a funny picture of Gilgis Alexander tripling a basketball

and all these different parts of his body that you, oh, you, don't touch. I guess this pissed off FTA so badly he's filed a cease and desist order against this company. Shea made hoops all about sal baiting. Oh! Got him. That's two shots. Now you're guarding him.

You so much as breathe on me? I'm getting the call. Download Underdog now to get yours. Only 100 made. I didn't know they had a frigging commercial. Yeah, they made a commercial. That's awesome. They're called underdog?

That's the company in unethical hoops. It's the game. Dude. They're singing right there. Unethical hoops. That's freaking, that's a riot. We had an operation board when I was a kid, and I had like a bookshelf with a, you know, stacked up board games, you know, just kind of lazily stacked. And one kind of, in the middle of the night, had like slid or moved or something.

And it knocked the buzzer thing into the metal part in operation and started going, bzzzz. At like 3.30 in the morning. scariest thing that's ever happened to me. Do you imagine that? No. You're like 10? I want to get that game again. I thought there was different themes, too, you could get.

I'm going to look that out. I remember the original game, but I don't remember any, you know, branch-offs at all. Oh, yeah, there's plenty. Like Josh said, Underdog Sports, who came up with this FTA operation game, they said they will not be taking the game off-line. they're still going to sell them. What did they say here? And they cited similar promotions in the past that have targeted other teams and athletes.

I don't know what they mean by that, but they're not backing down. That's funny. What do you make, Randy Schaber, of this NBA Board of Governors' announcement, putting forth some new anti-tanking rules? I'm confused by how it

works, but can you make heads or tails of it? Well, I think the bottom line is they are, they are trying not to give teams who purposely lose at the end any more of an advantage than any other team that misses the playoffs. Okay. And so the idea is, even though, I mean, you're trying to lose to get better odds, right? Right.

That's what you're trying to do to accomplish. And what they're saying is it doesn't matter if you are the worst team or the 11th team that didn't make the playoffs. Your odds are all going to be the same in the lottery. And that's great. That's part, I think that's just part of what they're attempting to do to stop teams from what we saw. This last year was really bad. That was probably, you know, the last two months of the regular season, there was three, four, teams that were just intentionally trying not to win.

And that's, you don't want that. That's just, no, there were a lot of complaints. It's like that South Park episode where the baseball players, they wanted to lose intentionally because they just wanted to go have summer and play video games. They didn't want to keep playing baseball. That's different, but yeah, you're right. It's just, I mean, I think we'll see if this works because,

I mean, in theory, it should. cause teams to think twice about losing games intentionally because your odds don't improve. And I think the other rule, there's another one in there, and correct me if I'm wrong, that you can't be in the worst five teams three years in a row. So bottom line is you can't have a top five pick three consecutive years. Okay, you're exactly right. So I think what they're trying to do, again is eliminate teams attempting to tank.

Teams are always going to do whatever they're going to do. There's always going to be teams that will hold players back just because of load management and things like that. But I think the intent here is not to have what we saw this year, where Utah and Washington basically at the end were losing games. you know. And losing them, and losing them ugly.

And losing them ugly. By 40 points, 45 points, just terrible. Not fair to the fans. You know, I don't even think the players like it either,

you know. These new changes will begin for the 20 and 27 NBA draft. Yeah, so this next year. Next year. They go into effect like right now. Oh,

really? Well, at the end of this season. Oh, I guess I'm not, I'm not, I'm thinking it's next summer because coming up will be the 20 and 26 NBA draft. Correct. So what I'm saying is when the season starts in November, those rules are in place for the 27 draft.

I guess we'll have to wait and see. I'm not sure. I'm not sure I fully understand, but that's my own problem. Well, the draft this year is coming up in June. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Once that draft is over, then the rules go into place for next year.

year. By the way, someone texted and wants to know, honestly, Josh, not Josh, but Randy, what is your, we were talking about Randy's golf tournament coming up Monday. There's a golfer in our listening audience who wants to know your golf handicap if you have one. If I have a handicap?

Yes. My handicap is just being out there. That's a handicap. It's a handicap for your for some. Yeah, for sure. One of my greatest regrets in life is when Josh and I were driving our golf cart, a golf cart, a golf cart is how you say. We are at your tournament. This has got to be 15 years ago or more. Josh and I were not golfing because we suck and we hate golf,

but we're driving around a golf cart just greeting everyone and having a good time. One of my greatest regrets is that we found your frigging credit card. Yes. Sitting in the middle of the fairway somewhere and we turned it back into you, honestly, without going to, we should have gone to Dave and Busters or something and got hammered. They got us something nice. Yeah. Right.

If that were to happen now, I think that I would not see that card until two days after you put some charges on it. Yeah. We were to go on to Dave and Busters. You would have figured it out when you got our postcard from Barbados. Yeah, we're putting around in the golf cart. I said, oh, someone dropped a credit card. It was crazy that it was Randy's. I said, you got to be boning me.

When did I spend 20 G's at Dave and B's? And it was through that credit card that we learned what Randy's real name is. And he told us never to share that on the radio. We've kept that secret. Isn't that right, Morris? Yes. Sucks to lose three out of four in Chicago. The twins lost a final final with the white sucks yesterday, 6 to 2.

You like that pitch. that they had going yesterday. Yeah, Davis Martin is really good. I love him because he's on my fantasy team. He's an all-star. He's an all-star. He's eight and one. He's going to make the all-star team.

He's really good. And this White Sox team is scrappy. They're pretty good. Again, none of them are big-name play other than maybe you recognize Grycheck. Other than that, they're not big-name guys, but they just go out and play hard. Yeah.

This Davis Martin is the first White Sox pitcher to win eight of his first 11 starts since Lucas Gialito did it seven years ago. He's the first to win six straight decisions since Lance Lynn five, six years ago. Yeah, he's off to a great start. Simeon Woods Richardson is now 0 and 7. It's just awful. You know what? He was pressed into duty, you know, unconstitutional. I understand that, but what do you do with them?

I don't know. I mean, that's really the question for them now. What do you do with them? Because it's just not working. I hear you. A year or two ago, we were at some twins function, and my wife won a Simian Woods Richardson autographed jersey. And she asked me the other day,

oh, how's the guy with the jersey, Simian Woods? How's he doing? Like, hey, let's go. Let's change the subject. Yeah, keep it in the closet. Yeah. Don't wear that one the first time we go to Target Field this year.

How much you want for that jersey? Oh, I'll just take it our class. give it to you. I like to be the heel, you know. Oh, that would be funny. I want to walk in at Allegiance some night when Woods Richardson is pitched two at one. Make sure you walk in there at game time. Yes.

If you walk in 40 minutes after game time, he's probably still not on the mound. Yeah. Hey, boys, what I miss? After one in two-thirds inning, he's giving up six earn run. That's when I want to walk in. Tonight. Yes, Randy. Go ahead.

I was going to mention tonight the Twin Start a Series in Pittsburgh, which should be fun. Yeah. I don't know. Is Skeen's pitching in this series? I did not look that far into the... I don't think the Pirates name their other... I know Jared Jones is making his debut tonight. Mitch Keller tomorrow.

Yeah. And Ashcraft on. Oh, so we miss Skeen, so that's too bad. Do you know who's going to be at that series? Who did? That Mark Rob Page. Oh, a local living legend wrestling referee Rob Page. What's bringing him to Pittsburgh?

He's a big pirates fan. He's a dork is what he is. That's a beautiful ballpark. It really is, yeah. It's one of the best ballparks in Major League Baseball. That bridge and everything, it's just gorgeous. We love Screech. I mean, Rob Page.

We do. We do. I think the big news yesterday in baseball, Nick, is the, did you read about the baseball owner's proposal? We were getting there, yes. So the baseball owners have proposed a hard salary cap. They haven't made this proposal since 19 and 94, and it led to a strike, correct? That's correct. Which canceled the World Series.

So a lot of baseball fans are feeling kind of squirly about this. Oh, no, is it going to lead to a strike? Yeah, probably. But what do you think? I think this is a great idea. I do too. And I think that the difference between 94 and now is the pure economics of local baseball television. We've seen it across Major League Baseball.

Yeah, the Dodgers are fine. The Yankees are fine. All these teams that have all that money because they're baseball. Local TV rights command so much money. But the twins are a perfect example. Other ball clubs that have lost their television and have had to scramble. And Major League Baseball has had to help them figure out all this stuff. It's a different environment now.

And I know the players are. categorically against a salary cap. But I got a feeling that something has to give here because you can't continue to have the disparity that you have in baseball. It's fun. It's not fair. It's not fair.

It's not. And when teams like the Dodgers, and I think when they sign Kyle Tucker, that's what put it over the edge in the offseason. I mean, when teams can spend that amount of, money and then you have other teams and I the twins maybe are not the best example but other teams that can't you know afford to do that it's fun to see them compete against them you know I'd love to see the twins beat the Dodgers but you're not going to beat them you know you may beat

them twice out of 10 games but that's not good enough right that's not fair enough and so I think I really think this time it's going to get ugly the last likely will be a strike or a lockout. But something has to give. And I think, you know, if you're a twins fan and you see what they've decided for the cap, that the top of the cap is $245 million, and that the lowest part of the cap is $171. Well, if the twins had to spend $171, that means that they'd have to spend, I think, somewhere like an extra $80 million on players that you don't see right now.

well obviously that could really help them be competitive absolutely so i mean i think there's there's a lot to this it's going to get ugly and nasty i just it just is but i really think that that's the way to go for this sport because i think it's about time it's about time i agree um you know i understand the players are going to be against this because they want to be filthy rich and well sure and all that but but don't they want to have an even playing field when a guy's playing for the Cincinnati Reds doesn't he want to or the Minnesota Twins doesn't he want to say we've got as good a shot as anybody else well I mean within the confines of the

salary financially speaking because there's only a 70 million dollar difference between the top of the cap and the bottom of the cap right well that's that's a reasonable amount of money it is to be to keep you within the distance of that of teams. So I'm sure there's going to be a lot that goes into all this before it's all said and done. But it just seems to me like the time to do this is now. And it may mean that Major League baseball doesn't start on time next year. It may mean a lot of things. But in the end, if they do get something decided, I think it's what's best for the game. Now, you know the team that, you know, with the 94 baseball strike, which you

wiped out the World Series. The team that was devastated more than any other was who? Montreal. Montreal Expos. They had the best team in baseball at that time, and had they won that World Series, which a lot of people believed they would have,

they'd still be there. They'd still be there. It's the same friggin thing. Big Al always said about, oh, no, I hope Lou Nanny isn't listening because I'm going to say it again. If the North Stars would have drafted Pat LaFontaine in 1984, or was it,

Sorry, 83. If the North Stars would have drafted Pat LaFontaine in 1983, instead of Brian Lawton, the stars would have won a Stanley Cup here in Minnesota, never left town. And I believe that that's true. Deep in my, deep in my black, black heart. We were talking about that Avalanche Red Wings documentary earlier. There's another very good one about the death of the Montreal Expos.

Yeah. Just how sad it was, how devastated those fans were. Yeah. Because, you know, Montreal's never going to get a team again. I don't think. No. No, they won't. By the way, one more baseball note. Did you see that poor bastard pitcher for the Tampa Bay Rays who puked all over the mound? Oh, I love him this happens. That was so much. So much. You're like, oh, he's done. Oh. Yeah, I kept going.

Why are we seeing more and more of this? They said it was nerves, and apparently one of the announcers was mentioning he's kind of known for this. Yeah. I'm feeling so hot out on the hill. Heasley actually talked with us about this pregame when he arrived here. This is something that he actually is regularly known for. He just has a weak stomach. It sometimes happens when his nerves kick up a little bit. He says, I'm totally fine.

So when somebody runs out there, I go, am I okay? This is something a little normal for me. And we just saw it here at his first outing with the race. Oh, my goodness. Jonathan Heasley is the pitcher's name. It was his debut with the Tampa Bay Rays, and he just sprayed his lunch all over the bump. He could not stop with the vomiting.

But, okay, fine. He's got a funny stomach. He gets a little nervous. But I've been watching baseball. baseball since I was five years old. I never remember seeing a pitcher puk on the mound. I mean, obviously there's more coverage now and there's cameras everywhere. Maybe that's the answer.

But in the last four or five years, we've seen five or six different pitchers do this. It does seem like it happens more. But Ashley, you're right. You think, well, he's, that's, okay, there's a ton more. How does that keep happening? This is on 93x.com. He just, like frigging what's just not leaving the bar looking for Lisa. Yeah.

What the hell's his name? Donnie, Ronnie. Or the old WWE wrestler, Darren Drozdov. Remember that was his gimmick? He'd puke in a bucket. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was his gimmick?

Yes. Oh, my God. It was terrible. It was so bad. Vince McVimes and idiot. Darren Drozdav. That's a terrible gimmick. He ended up, did he die?

He did, yeah. He got paralyzed after a botched spot. Oh, geez, really? Yeah, sad story. Wasn't his tag team? Was it puke and? puke and barf,

something like that fart or something. He had some awful tag team. Anyway, yeah, his gimmick was he could vomit his first interview with Vincent Kennedy McMahon. They asked him, well, what can

you do out there that's unique? And he said, well, I can vomit on command. Oh my God. He should have never said that because they made that his character. Oh, he played three seasons in the NFL. And he puked on Monday Night Football. This Ryan, no, Jonathan Heasley, yeah, check out the video on our website.

Poor guy. If you got a strong stomach. If you got a strong. He stayed in the game, but the article gets cute here and says he put forth a barf-worthy performance. He allowed five earned runs on eight hits in four innings. He was spitting it up all over the joint. Well, at least he's on a good ball club. That Tampa team is really playing well.

Yeah, the raise, the devil raise. And they do that with a salary that just, again, they're like the envy of the league. Yeah. They have, you know, they don't spend a lot of money. Puk and Snott was Drozda's tag team. Wait, it really was? Yes. Oh, I was going to say Snott, but those are the guys that perform at the Renaissance Festival back in the day.

You're hilarious. They're great. Maybe that's not the, okay, then maybe that was someone joking around. I don't remember. It was Puk and something. He was involved in a terrible short-lived tag team where their entire gimmick was how gross the both of them came. Anytime I went to Renfest, I'd make sure and see those guys when they were there.

They're great. So before we go today, Randy Shaver, yesterday you were, Brad or you, somebody was sending out text messages about Kyler Murrah and J.J. McCarthy. Where you guys were joking. around about the difference in attitude between the two of them now that they're practicing together?

Well, it was the interviews that they did. They were basically asked the same question. And that question was something to the effect of how is the relationship between you and, you know, for JJ, it was for Kyler Murray. And for Kyler, it was for JJ. And Kyler answered it. in a pretty veteran-type response, pretty generic, you know, helping each other, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right.

And JJ's answer was, well, it's like being in school. I'm sitting in this chair, he's sitting in that chair. And that's it. So Murrah's response was a little more team-oriented, and J.J. McCarthy made it more sound like he's my enemy. Right. Correct. And that, if you are on social media and you follow the response that like Pat McAfee and people like that started talking about this, I mean, it blew up yesterday. There were so many people making a comment either way on it.

I don't think that's what the Vikings were hoping for. I don't think they really want there to be that kind of a conversation happening in May about their quarterback situation. It's just not what they want. But we'll see how this plays out. Kyle Moore said as far as the relationship between he and J.J. McCarthy, it's been great. I know he's a younger guy. So anyway, I can help him, obviously. I feel like I've played seven years.

I'm considered, you know, we're both competitors. We both want what's best for the team. That was Kyler Murrah. It's been great. It's been great. Obviously, I know he's a younger guy. So any way I can help him, obviously, I feel like, you know, I've played seven years now going on eight.

So I'm considered a veteran, even though I don't see myself as that. Give him any knowledge that he needs. Again, you know, we're both competitors, and I know, you know, we both won one's best for the team. Right, and then JJ was more goofy about it. But he's a, I think he's a goofy guy. It's just like two guys in a classroom. You know, he sits on one side, I sit on the other side,

and it's the coach's responsibility to teach us and coach us. Is there any awkwardness? like between you two? Awkwardness, you know, it's just like the same feeling, you know, when you're in high school and there's another person on the other side of the room. That's just kind of how it is. So I wouldn't say there's any awkwardness. That was a long pause.

He had to think about that answer. I mean, I mean, that just, I don't, man, I don't. At the end of the day, you're still on the same team together. Right. Your teammates, right? Yes, you're competing against each other, but you're still teammates. Well, that, I don't know. It comes down to this.

One of them sounded like an adult. other one sounded like a kid. Well, actually, that clip wasn't from J.J. McCarthy. That clip was from nine. Oh, I didn't know that. The competitor in him. That was nine talking right there. What did you call him last year, Dana?

A spas. J.J. McCarthy is a spas. A spas. I'm a little worried about Kyle Murrah. It was 88 degrees yesterday. Why are you wearing a stocking cap? Do you have malaria or something? Maybe he's going bald.

88 degrees. They interviewed him. Outside. He's wearing a stocking cap. That's so funny because last weekend, me and my husband went to the Minnesota State Fair, like, little, what is it? Like, kickoff to summer thing, yeah. And Josh originally was supposed to come with us, and he ended up not going. It was like in the 80s that day. It was sold out, so Josh couldn't get tickets.

And we saw somebody wearing, like, a winter jacket. Oh, yeah. Who does that remind you of? Well, I told my husband, I said, I said, I can't help it. think of one thing when I see somebody in like 80 degree weather in a coat or a jacket like like oh I must be drugs and he was said or they're like Josh he said I guarantee you if he was with us right now he'd probably be wearing a hoodie that's true like a lot of people I hate my body now yeah hoodie is where I go now it's longer a jacket it is one of the more interesting things about

you and I really like Tyler Murrah I do I think he sounds like a nice guy you know he just sounds like a nice regular guy I don't know why he wears a stocking cap on his 88 degrees. But you're right. Years ago at our little gimmick called the average Joe car show, it had to have been 90 degrees. We're outside in the parking lot at Medina Ballroom with the average Joe car show. It was a lot of fun. People brought their garbage cars in and we drank beer and had a good time. Josh is wearing a North Face jacket. Well, I love adventure. And every, it was unbelievable. Every single person that walked up said this. Hey, guys, how's it going? Good. Like the show. Hey, thanks. Hey, this is a really cool event. We hope you do it over and over again.

gave us a chance to come out and have a good time. Hey man, yeah, thanks for coming. And every one of them said, why are you wearing a jacket? You never know when Bear Grills is going to come and need your help in an Arctic adventure. I put stuff in there. You wear like a fleece jacket when it's 85, 90 degrees. I swapped to hoodies now. That's so crazy.

I mean, I think I would collapse. Yeah, same here. I would die. I like to be almost nude anytime it's over, you know. That was funny, though. One time I got down to a T-shirt in here, which is, I know, a little risque, and Ashley commented on it saying she never thought she'd see me in a T-shirt. Yeah.

And you were cut, too, Josh. Stop that. There you go. Hey, Randy Schaeber, we will see you Sunday night at your gala event. I will present you this wonderful bobblehead. Oh, yeah, you're going to love it. It's great. And, yeah, just go out and have a great weekend.

I appreciate it very much. We'll see you guys on Sunday. You bet. We will see you on Sunday, and we'll be back on the program here in just a handful of minutes. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer

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experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bealky Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bealkylaw.com. That's b-I-A-L-K-E-L-E-L-E-L-L-K-E-L-L-A-L-L-E-L-L-A-L-L-A-L-L-RU. Hey there, I'm Paula Pan. How do I save money? Most people give you the cliche answer. Stop buying avocado toast. But they're missing the point.

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Afford anything. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. FAS morning show, 93X. Well, in about a matter of half hour, you're going to be on your own. It's our Friday. So at 9 a.m., we're going to be off like a prom dress. You're a terrific crowd. You really are.

Until we hit that magical 9 a.m. mark, we'll heed the words of one of our great past leaders here at the radio. station. In his words, we're going to try and quote, keep it going. Got to keep it going. We're going to try to keep it going. I'm going to go ahead and ask you three folks a question now. Have you ever been called trashy? Yeah. Oh, well, trash, yeah. Trashy. And why? Do you remember why you were called trashy? Oh, you know, we grew up without a lot of money. Yeah. And that we were called white trash. We got to be. We got. had some, I guess, some interests that people thought were trashy.

You had some interests? Yeah. I get made fun of for drinking Diet American Dew. Some people call that a trashy beverage, which I don't get. It's the best beverage of all time. Ashley, why were you called trashy? I can't remember. I can't remember just something must have been something I done.

My husband has said it to me before. Like, that's a trashy thing to do. Was it when you bought that garbage house in the middle of the of nowhere in Wisconsin. I know. Yeah, I can't remember. He jokes all the time about me doing trashy stuff, I guess. Maybe like picking up something off the floor and just eating it, stuff like that.

Oh, yeah, I don't believe in the five-second rule. No, it doesn't exist. You ever been called trashy? Dana, why'd they call you trashy? I can remember a time where I... Stupid jean shorts for sure. Bandana? Bandana for sure. One time I filled up a kiddie pool with ice and beer and just kind of set my feet.

eaten in the front lawn. My ex called that pretty trashy. That's not trashy. That's a... I thought it was smart. Yeah. Yeah. My mom just threw a party like two weeks ago for my husband a surprise birthday party.

My mom was like, you should have just felt the kiddie pool up with beer. But I told her at the moment, I was like, no, that's trashy. So I guess I get it. I get it. Yeah. Don't folks call you trashy sometimes or when you were a kid because you never had a shirt on? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I heard people joke around about you not wearing sleeves or stuff like that. Absolutely. I've fielded that insult many times. over my lifetime. Don't you also drive around with your windows down? We know there's a person in your life that finds that trashy. Yeah, that's funny. You bring that up. I forgot about that. That's the exact word she used. When we're driving in a motor vehicle, my wife likes the windows closed and all that manufactured air pumping out of the motor vehicle, whether it be hot or cold. That's the way to do it. I, obviously in the

wintertime, I heat my motor vehicle, but in the spring and summer, I never, ever, ever use the air conditioning. I roll the windows down. I like the wind blown. So yes, not that long ago. We got in the motor vehicle. I cranked the windows down. My wife turned to me and said, what are you doing? Roll the windows up.

And I said, why? And she said, driving around with the windows, both windows? Why don't? That's trashy. So I've been. Elgado Jesus said just this morning, his wife called him trashy because he ate breakfast without a shirt. Oh.

There you go. That's what we're talking about. Oh, God. Yeah. I mean, the house that I grew up in, the way we operated. Yeah, we were trash. So get ready. We're going to play Trashy or Not.

I'm going to say something or another out loud, and you folks tell me if you think it's trashy or not, and you can elaborate as much as you like. Are you down or what? I'm down. Trashy or not. Having a fully stocked garage beer fridge. No.

No. That's probably a level of trashy. Really trashy? That seems like the wrong word for that. Having a whole fridge dedicated to booze, yeah. And to elaborate a little further on that, having or turning your garage into a full bar. You've got the bar, you got all the beer signs. I've done that.

Table and chairs. I just was at a buddy's house last week, and he's got essentially, you could basically welcome in patrons. It's such a nice garage. I wanted to do that at our house now, but my husband's like, no, it's cool to park in the garage. Whatever. It'd be sweet to have a bar in there. I did it in Wisconsin. I had a bar set up and so built an actual little bar and then had a pool table in there.

It was nice. Yeah, I'll tell you. I do like parking in a garage, though. I grew up not being able to park in a garage, so it is nice. Well, the trick is, Cubby, my old house. Yeah, my garage, which was detached from the home, that effing garage turned into a tavern. I had the television and the stereo and the bar and a foosball table and a ping pong.

Now, of course, I also enjoyed parking in that garage. So at the end of the night, it made for some clumsy rearranging. I had to fold up the ping pong day. I had to push the bar back again. So that was a pain in the ass. But I did love living that life. I loved having my detached garage be more or less a beer tavern. Hell, we spent hours and hours and hours out there.

a really great time. I love that. I think it's so common, though, that having a beer or a fridge full of beer that in the garage that it's not trashy? I wouldn't call it trashy, but some people would. You know, you got some of those some bitches who live on the, they live high on the hill. They would never, oh, my God, a beer fridge. That's a mini fridge itself, I think some people consider trashy and tacky.

So let's continue on because I got a lot of these. Eating gas station hot dogs, trashy or not? No. No. Well, my wife would say the opposite. opposite. She would say it's trashy? Yeah, on her first date, she described her palate as basic bitch. She goes, I just like pepperoni pizza. I like chicken strips. You know, just that type of food. One time I got a gas station hot dog, she thought I was like drinking plutonium or something.

She was so disgusted by me. You know the best place to get a gas station hot dog? Holiday. Oh, holiday. Holiday. They have the best gas station hot dogs. Quick trip gets like voted like number one place for food all the time. I don't know. I only go to holiday. I usually only go to holiday. I'm not picky. I'll eat any. I'm a weiner fan. I'll eat any gas station weanski, you hand me. It's one of my favorite foods. I'll tell you a funny story about my folks.

My dad's fishing shack way up north was about, I don't know, 30 miles away from International Falls. So my mom and dad would go up there. And on rainy days, when they couldn't go out fishing, sometimes they'd just drive to International Falls and find something to do, right? So it's a rainy day. They made their way up to the falls. And my dad says, or my mom says, you know, we ought to stop somewhere and have some lunch. And my dad said, I agree.

About five minutes later, my dad says, oh, here we go. And they pull into a bank parking lot. It was the grand opening of the bank, and they were grilling hot dogs in the parking lot. And my day, well, here we go. We can have. And my mom said, I'm not lunch. When I say, let's have lunch, that doesn't mean a hot dog in the rain. in the parking lot of a brand new bank.

I'll tell you what, I think three years of my life, three years in a row, all I ate was gas station food. Yeah. So none of us consider that trashy. This person says my wife gets mad if I grab a bag of chips, sit down and start eating them. She makes everyone pour them into a bowl. What? My wife does that?

I've never poured chips into a bowl. She does that. Is to her reason a portion control because she's so healthy? Yeah, that's it. Yeah. I did that for a little bit. I hated that. That was stupid.

No, just bring the bag to the table. Taking your shoes off on an airplane. Trashy or not? Trashy. Yeah, it seems kind of disrespectful. Especially if you're not wearing socks. It's gross. It is disrespectful.

For God's sake, you're not in your living room. Honestly, never mind, because I can see, like, exceptions. There are no exceptions. I don't know. You know your feet aren't smelly and you're, like, not bothering any people with them. You're not, like, putting them up on people's seats or anything, then I don't care what you do under your seat. But once you, like, make it known. It's not your living room. Stay fully clothed for Christ's sake.

651 or to 715, Jesus, brings up a very good point, you know, to people who might think having a beer fridge is trashy. Word? What about a wine cellar? Well, I don't know word one about it. That's fancy. It's still alcohol being stored somewhere in your place or a wine fridge. Wine is for the more sophisticated crowd and beer is for us blue collar stiffs who can't get out of our own way. using paper plates

I understand why people do like a lot of this stuff I can understand why people do think it's trashy I mean I do it all but if I had my way we would never use real silverware and plates I lived the majority of my life with paper plates and plastic forks and I could do it every day and I don't care what anyone thinks

my wife thinks differently we're playing trashy or not I'm just reading some things out loud and my cohorts here are telling me if they find it to be trashy. People are coming for my life because they said that I, like, I'm hating on beer fridges. I want to be very clear. I understand why people think it's trashy.

I don't think it's trashy. I think it's awesome. I had forgotten what you said about beer fridges. I just said, like, I can understand why people think that's trashy. I like being trashy, to be honest with it. Yeah, I don't mind it. I'm fine. That's how I was raised.

This would be a good one. one to leave off on because we got to, well, maybe we have time for a couple more, but okay, trashy or not. And I know your answer already. This is one of my least favorite things in the world. I'm not on social media anymore, but I used to be until I was threatened, and Josh knows the story. Trashy or not. Unfairly, oh, absolutely, unfairly. Posting cryptic relationship drama on Facebook. Trashy and cringe. Good Lord. I, I, saw a little bit of that when I was a social media person

where someone would just text something, you know, something like, you know, they said that love can last forever. Right? And then they just leave it there. Yeah. So all their friends, oh, what's wrong? Oh, was something wrong with you and Missy? What happened?

Did something happen? Oh, you self-serving, serving dick. I hate that crap. I have a, I always say I'm like, oh, God, like get over yourself. Don't post stuff like that. But when they do, I'm like, ooh, I'm going to figure out what's going on. All right, one more, trashy or not. Leaving holiday lights up until March or April or May.

It probably is, but we do it. You do? Yeah. It's just we forget. Get your ass in gear and get your frigging stupid Christmas lights off the house and out of your yard after New Year's. We decided to just not put them up this year because we didn't want to have them up for seven months. I'm saying yes, that is trashy to leave your stupid holiday decorations up when it's 75 degrees of spring.

Come on. I know you're talking about, though, Ashley, about you just didn't put them up. Like, I think I might give away my Halloween stuff. One more before we take a break. Don't have it in me. Why are you giving away your Halloween? I just don't have it in me. And my kid doesn't care anymore.

Well, yeah, I got to be honest with you, I found it kind of odd that you had been going so crazy the last couple of years for Halloween when your kid's pretty much too old for it anyway. He doesn't care anymore. Sell it. Sell it to crackheads. He's trying. Yo, is crackheads? Yeah. Crackheads love Halloween.

One more. Drinking at your kid's sporting event. Is that trashy or not? I guess it depends. How drunk are you getting? And how open are you about it? Open drinking at your kid's sporting event. So you're not pouring into like one of those steel coffee mugs or anything?

Well, you might be, but everybody knows. Yeah. You know, everybody knows. It seems like if it's a tournament, that's just expected. Yeah. If you're going to Brainerd for some sort of tournament, if you're not drinking, you're kind of an outcast. Well, no, I'm talking about your aunt, not in the hotel with the parents. I'm talking, you're on the sideline.

I know what you're talking about it. I'm just saying it seems like, again, there'd be an exception. Like, maybe it would be. See, I think a tournament's fine if it's a Tuesday 530 game and you're getting loaded, you know, at the Egan ballpark. That might be a little trashy. I think it depends on. And the sport makes a difference? It depends on the age of the kid.

if it's a seven-year-old kid playing baseball, everyone knows that's the most painful thing in the entire world. Yeah, you better have a couple of beers to get through that. But if you can't go one high school hockey game without, you know, being the guy in the stands with a beer, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's a little different.

I don't like to say too many bad things about drinking, but where was I going with this? I had one more thought on drinking at a... Oh, oh, my dad. and his pals, and of course, my dad's pals, kids were usually on my hockey team, they would just binge drink for hours before the game. I don't think ever saw him drinking at the game, but they certainly got a wicked shine on beforehand,

and it did kind of make it fun for me to see them all stumbling around in the stands. You know, no, I think about it. I think what probably makes it trashy is there's rules against it everywhere, right? I don't know if I've ever been to a place of youth sports where it was okay to drink. You know, they're dry. The schools are dry. That kind of thing. Sounds like you're sneaking it in for it now.

Trashy or not. I'm saying things out loud and the rest of the years are quickly judging them as trashy or not trashy. We're going to kick this in the ass here a little bit. We've got a ways to go. First off, a couple of text messages. Listeners texted in at 651-9-89-9-93. A couple of things that they find trashy. paying anything that's over $2 with change.

Oh, sure I could see that. Paying for anything that's over $2 with loose change. I usually get kind of embarrassed because I bet the cashier's just annoyed. What about this one, Cubby? When you're walking around the grocery and some jabroney, it just reaches right over into the grape pile and plucks a couple of grapes off and throws them into his dome giver. I don't care about that.

I have a girlfriend that do have the olives. like the olive bar at, you know, I think Kowalski's or something. And I'm like, what do you do? And she goes, no, they want you to do it. Those are expensive. I'm like, no, they don't want you to steal olive. Well, you put your filthy poop finger into the, into the grapes and someone's going to bring those home and get poop finger. I used that with peanuts at the grocery store.

Yeah, everyone fisted the peanuts and, but I don't know. Do you guys know what Mexican hats are, those little gummy candies? Yes, delicious. I got yelled that so bad by my parents because I didn't know that I thought they were just out there like a penny jar. You could grab one if you needed one. and I was a little kid and I grabbed a couple of those things, and I thought my folks were going to disown me. Let me ask you a question.

Can you poop finger yourself or can you only poop finger other people? You know what I mean? I can do it yourself. Pardon me? You can do it yourself? But it's your own. Yeah, does it make you sick? Do you get a case of poop finger from yourself or does it have to be?

I bet you can. All right, we're running out of time. Let's try it. Trashy or not? Walking barefoot through a gas station parking lot. That's pretty trashy. I'm sure I've done it like being on a lawn road trip and you have your shoes off in the past.

passenger seat. Air fryer on the kitchen counter 24-7. I didn't get that one. Yeah. Yeah, that's funny. Is that where it lives? That's where ours is. That's like a social media thing, whether or not that's trashy or not. Fake plants in every room, trashy or not.

We've got a couple. I think the only plants we have are fake. It's either fake plants or dead plants. I'm sorry. Keeping plastic grocery bags under the sink. Where else are you supposed to keep them? Yeah, we keep them. I got a drawer full of those.

I got two or three. drawers full. Dog poop bags. Eating in bed. Oh, that's every meal for me, pretty much. I eat in bed. It's probably trashy, but I love it. I love doing it.

I eat in bed every day. Owning chickens in the suburbs. Ashley and I both owned chickens in the suburbs. That's pretty, it seems like more and more folks are doing that. Is it trashy? That's in pretty normal. Would you call it trashy? No.

Okay. Refusing to, oh, here's a, here's one that my wife and I see differing. How do I say this, Josh? My wife and I differ on this. refusing to use sheets on the bed. She finds that to be so disgusting to sleep on a bare mattress where, since I've been a kid, I find a bare mattress to be so flipping comfortable. I love it.

I prefer sheets, but we never use the top sheet. Yeah, I don't mean either. It's too much work putting that on and then you just kick it around anyway. Who cares? Trashy or not tanning in your driveway? I just did this a couple days ago. We haven't found much to be trashy here, I guess. Maybe we're just trashy people.

Well, we established that at the beginning of our conversation a half hour ago, is that we probably all came from a little bit of a trashy background, and we're continuing that, what's the word I'm looking for, Josh? We're continuing that theme. Sure, I'll go with the word theme. Displaying booze bottles on top of your kitchen cabinets. Here's some Jack Daniels. Here's some Jim Beam, a little vodka, a little tequila.

Yeah, I stopped doing that once I turned like 22. Maybe I have trash. I really haven't thought any of these were trashy. Like it doesn't seem like the right way. That's okay, Josh. It's trashy or not? You can say not until you're blue in the face. Having an above ground pool.

No. No, those are, some of those are really expensive. Some of them are not. Oh, I'm saying, yeah. Some of them look like. We had a cheap one. Some of them looked like a cardboard piss pond. Yeah, we just have like the $20.

dollar blowoff once. We would just put it on the deck. It depends on how you maintain it. Yeah. Right. Josh, having, what do I say here? Owning a margarita machine. I don't know anything about that.

Yeah, why would that be trash? I don't know. Using coupons on a first date. Trashy or not? I think it would be a good test. If she was cool with it, then you'd realize maybe you have one here. If she got all upset about it, then you just cut your losses. But is it trashy or not?

I guess, it depends what kind of. of coupon. If we're going out and it's like a $10 date and you're using like a 50 cent off coupon, I might be like all right, all right man. All right, here. I think I thought... Or what if you're going Dutch and you used a coupon for yourself?

I've heard horror stories of that. Now I want to do that. And you pick the place intentionally because you knew you had the coupon? Only going to cost you money, bitch. God, I ruined this opportunity by getting married. All right. I didn't know this would happen. We're having a difficult time defining anything as trashy because

of our uppermen. Oh, how about this? Extremely long grass in the yard. You don't mow the yard. A listener just texted that in. Extremely long grass. Yeah, I guess when we're driving through the neighborhood, we're usually like... Okay, we found one.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's trashy. That's the first one that kind of makes sense. Keep up with your frigging yard already. But this is one I think we can all agree is trashy. Putting ketchup on steak. What are you? Three years old?

It seems like a little kid thing. Patrick Mahomes thing. Catchup is so good. Having a themed bathroom. I had a themed bathroom. What was the theme? Kiss. That's different.

That's sweet. When I was living in Rogers, I had an extraordinary amount of bathrooms for one town home. And one of my ex-girlfriends took it upon herself to collect all my kiss memorabilia that I had stored in the basement and create a kit. One of my bathrooms, she turned it into a kiss bathroom. All the towels were red and black. That's cool. And it had the kiss posters. That's great.

Yeah, I thought that was. That sounds really sweet. Bringing your own blanket to the movie theater. No. Those things are cold. I don't need one, but I understand that. Ordering chicken tenders at expensive restaurants. Trashy? Very childlike. I don't know if I would call it trashy. I've kind of learned like the more expensive the restaurant, the least I like it.

Oh, yeah. I said, wow. Really? Yeah, I just, for whatever reason, I don't have a distinguished palate. Oh, take me to a fancy restaurant. You'll get your money's worth. Owning more coolers than suitcases. We own way more cooler than suitcases. I think we're about even, but that's because we inherit them every time. Like someone passes away and they're like, hey, they've got like 15 coolers. How many do you want?

I got a lot of frigging coolers. Drinking beer in the shower. Yeah. Oh, yeah, sure. Okay, there's another one you could probably say. It's good, though. It's good to call it. Bringing a full-sized pillow on a road trip, Josh.

I always feel trashy when I do that. Why? Bringing your own pillow on a road trip, Josh. No. Hey, I was told I was supposed to do that. That was funnier than hell. Josh comes walking into those crap. Josh comes walking into the lobby of that hotel there in Turtle Lake

and he's got this big fat pillow under his arm and everyone said, what are you sleeping on the sidewalk? I was told people are like, oh, you know, if you go to a home, you got to, I don't have a lot of experience. And they're like, you got to make sure you bring your own pillow. Like, okay, you know better than me. And holy crap, I got crap on that. One more trashy or not wearing camouflage casually.

I used to until I got, until people kind of gave me crap about it. I definitely do that. I loved my camouflage shorts and my camouflage pants. I just destroyed them and I haven't bought a fresh pair of either. I love wearing them. I have a military themed t-shirt on. It's green. It's not camo.

I thought I looked cool as hell in my camouflage pants. I bet you did. As Wiz Khalifa, I think, I think that's who it is that says this. As he always says, camel shorts go with everything I want to wear. Maybe I should go out and get a... I like camo shorts. I like dudes in camel shorts. It looks good.

All right, we got to go. Why are people so against camo shorts? I don't know. I don't know. They weren't to fly. few years ago. I know that. No one said Dick about my camouflage shorts or pants, but then something happened and I don't know what it was. Yeah, something changed. And I don't like it. I'm going to tell you that right now. Get us out here, Covey. Shout out to Megan getting induced

today. Congratulations to the happy family. Happy anniversary to Ambassador of Rubbish Jesus in the better half. Happy birthday to Stinky Tim Jesus and one more team. The fourth annual Lids for Kids Helmet Fest is happening tomorrow at the Hilerson Sports Center in Little Falls, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., the first 350 little ones up to the age of 16. Get a $100 gift card toward the purchase of a helmet. Free admission and ATV big air tour show starting at one, and you can grab some wings, burgers, and things from Lilies. I like all those things. From Lilies. Again, the fourth annual Lids for Kids Helmet Fest hosted by Hilmerson Sports Center tomorrow, kicking off at 10 a.m. Have an awesome weekend.

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