93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Farewell Naz

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

Originally Aired June 25, 2026: Sir, is that a buttplug? Finding out your spouse is a drug addict. Everything you've ever wanted to know about sucking harder than a clogged Dustbuster.  Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheeding.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93X-Hadhaffast morning show. Ninety-three. Ah, what the hell is this? Thursday? Ah, yeah, this is where I begin to let go.

That's what Thursdays mean to me. Letting go. Yeah, Fridays you usually walk in and say, You just don't care. Yeah, this is where it starts. Now, my esteemed colleague over here, Cubby. Well, fellow. He's got me.

This is the day where I begin to let go of cares, worries, concerns. You got me worried about something, though, right from the start as I walked in. Josh told me that Lionel Richie, he performed last night in town. Josh tells me that Lionel had to cut his show a little short last night because he wasn't feeling well. Now that worries me. Yeah, me too. He apparently was saying he felt dizzy and he told the crowd, I'm feeling dizzy. I've been performing long enough to know if in the middle of the show you feel dizzy, you sit down. So he sat down a couple times to sing

and eventually he leaves the stage and doesn't come back. And the band announces, hey, we're wrapping it up. I don't like the sound of that. And last night was the first night of his tour. Oh. Yeah, he's no kid anymore. Got a text message here from Scoopy Bucket Jesus, who was at the show. And he said Lionel was legendary. He was a true icon.

He did leave early and didn't return, however. But he says, I'd absolutely see him again if given the chance. His smile is pure joy. I agree with that. Well, that concerns me. Lionel is an absolute treasure of a human being. I don't ever want anything bad to happen to him. So if anyone knows him out there, tell him that the 93x half-ass morning show is thinking about him. Yeah, hopefully it's something as simple as he didn't eat enough or something.

There's some bitch has got to be ready to hit 80. Yeah, and he's still doing it. Right. Hang in there, brother. and always remember as best you can, Lionel. Stay easy like Sunday morning. Do that for us. That's the way to do it.

Do that for me. Speaking of being concerned, I forgot to tell you guys. What are you worried about now? I married a druggy. Oh, Jesus. I married a drug kingpin. We knew that your mother-in-law was a drug addict. Yeah.

So certainly my mother-in-law is, now my wife, who's only been drunk once her entire life, and it was by accident. She was in high school. They had, can you still call it a Wapitui? I don't know if that's a bad term. Not a clue. That's what we called it back in the day where you have the alcohol punch and all the fruit in there and everything.

So she was eating the fruit out of it and never considered that that might be holding alcohol. Oh, big time. So she got drunk on fruit. She got drunk on accident. Like a squirrel might eating fermented apples. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Our old Springer Spaniel, the best girl in the whole world, Megan Marie used to get.

had drunk off of rotten apples in the yard. So what happened? She hasn't been drunk in like 30 years, and again it was by accident. She went up to her family's cabin last week, I think it was, or the week before. And she was doing some THC seltzers. She had a pot, a liquid pot. She had two of them. Two liquid pots?

Two liquid pots. The fives are the tens, do you know? The fives, probably? Probably the fives. Yeah, I guess I don't, you're talking milligrams? Yeah. Yeah, I think it was a couple of five. lives. She had one one night and one the other, and all of a sudden I'm marrying Pablo Escobar

here. My God. She was a complete change of... So she's started to buy this hooch and bring it back to... No, she just had it there. Somebody had it there. Apparently that's a drug den for my family. They go to this cabin and everybody gets high. What neighborhood is it in? Managa. Oh, yeah, everybody's pretty high up there. That's the whole community. Yeah. I know a couple of old timers up there. So she... You're worried about your wife now. She texts me and she's like, hey, would you mind if I had a THC Seltzer? And I reminded her, you're nearly a 50-year-old woman.

What a weird question. I don't own you. We are life partners. You're welcome to do whatever you want, you know? If you cheated on me, I probably wouldn't like it. If you committed a major crime, maybe we'd have an issue. But if you want to have a THC Seltzer in Monaga, Minnesota, that's up to you. What did she say about how it made her feel?

I mean, she only had one drink, one night, and then one on the following night. So, I mean, maybe it takes more than that for most of us to be able to give an answer on how it made. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm a beer drinker. It's going to take more than one. She said it just made her tired. And so she, she's like me.

She doesn't get a lot of sleep. And she slept almost 12 hours the first night. and the second night she made it over eight, which is very uncommon for her. See, I've never had any of that liquid weed. I haven't needed, well, I've had no weed whatsoever. What do they call it again? T-C. Celtzers? T-H-C. Seltzers, thank you.

No, I have zero interest in that. But you know, so I... I wonder what one would do to me, seeing how I've never had one. I bet tired to. I wonder if it depends if you're a regular drinker otherwise. Because, like you said, your wife hasn't told. touched any liquor in, what'd you say, 30 years? Never been drunk except for by accident.

So maybe one would hit her pretty hard. All it did was make her tired. She said she didn't feel, like she was expecting to feel kind of loopy or something like you would. Right. And she said it just made her tired. Former baggage handling Jesus said, you know, you can take the girl out of South High School, but you can't take the South High out of the girl.

Maybe that's part of it. She's been waiting as a South graduate. You don't think that this will be a regular thing for her? I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, maybe so, like, if we go out with the big kids, that's the only time I really drink. As you know, Nick, I text you every time I'm about to have a sip of something.

You know, like, some overweight kids? I'm sorry, I should say older kids. Oh. And I, I mean, I drink a couple, and she never does, right? And even my oldest, Cam, he'll tell her, Mom, I got four shots in front of me. If you don't take one, I'm going to drink. them all, right, trying to pressure in.

And everybody else kind of takes an extra shot. Why do these older kids that you know, you tell stories like this a lot, why they're always trying to pressure you and your straight-laced wife to drink? Because we're too straight-laced. Right. It is kind of odd. I mean, here, you almost never touch alcohol.

It's never really been your thing. I've gone years without. Right. Your wife has now only drank twice in her life, and she's no spring chicken, by the way. No, no, not at all. your wife has only drank twice in her life once she accidentally got drunk and now last weekend she had two frigging celtzers normally i would hate people like you for not drinking yeah yeah normally i'd hate people

like you for being so boring oh my god thank you somehow though you overcome that and uh you're it's nice i mean maybe because some people who don't drink are you know we're not obviously talking about people who need to stop drinking because they've had issues in the past but they may Maybe are judgey. Is that why? Oh, definitely I know those people. I mean, I'm fine. I've been around this kind of thing my entire life.

Most of my friends are frigging drugies or drink and stuff like that. Druggies. Druggies, he says. By the way, I'm using that term, of course, by people who use it responsibly. But to me, it's kind of funny. Well, that's interesting. Get back to us if she becomes a regular drinker. That would be quite a story in your household.

Oh, I know. And so I had a theory, and I've always. somewhat had this theory that she's pushed drugs on me forever. Like, you know, I was offered an opportunity when they were talking about doing some medical marijuana research before it was legal. I was contacted to, I have epilepsy and saying, hey, would you like to be a part of this? And I was like, nah, no, I don't think. So I appreciate it.

I'm my medication's working. I don't really want to start doing a marijuana product. I'm not against it. It's just for whatever reason I wanted to. Yeah, I know you are because you're tired of hearing it. I'm 100% against it. Yeah. So it's not like I have a moral code again.

It's just, you know, go ahead if you want to. It's just not for me. And so my wife has always said, you know, you should try it. Right. You can benefit from it. Not only for your epilepsy side effects. Just to chill out. For your, generally you can be wound a little tight and you worry a lot and your anxiety gets to you.

I agree with her. I think you should experiment a little bit with smoking a big fat joint or the, what are they doing now the pills, the gummy bears. I agree with her on that. I think it really could help you. But I'm wondering if, because I had asked her, like, is this maybe because you wanted to do it? And you thought, well, shoot, if my husband's doing it, then it's okay for me to try it, too.

Maybe she wants that dependent or codependent. Yeah, she wanted, like permission, basically. Because like I said, she asked me for permission. I thought, when have I ever given you the impression that I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you what you need to do. I mean, yeah, how straight-laced are you when you call your spouse to ask permission if you can drink? But then again, I text you and kind of, if you say you should it, I'll go, okay, baby, I should it. You always let me know when you are going to have a drink. And I feel guilty. A single beer or maybe even two. There's a guilt thing happening there.

You can tell if I've had two because it's not a text, it's a phone call and I'm sharing some feelings. Yeah, yeah. Wow. It's fun, Josh, to get a look into how sober people work. It is. It's very interesting. I like the stories. There's a lot of people texting in and say they're into the THC Seltzers. I know I've got a couple of buddies who are just drinkers.

I mean, that's all they ever did, and they tried that, and they like it because they feel better the next day. Feel better than the next day, and you're just chill and relax. It's a great feeling. So do you like it better than drinking? I mean, I go back and forth. I don't know. They're both enjoyable depending on what I have to do that. day, you know.

Yeah. Well, there you go. I agree with your wife. And maybe, like you said, she's just trying to open the door to a marijuana-based lifestyle. But I do agree that maybe you should try some things to help your overall mental situation. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't feel a warrior for sure. But it's not like something that's really affecting me huge.

Oh, but now, see, did you mention this already? What's that? People have been texting in sometimes if you're kind of a wound, tight, anxious type of a person, a worrisome type of a person, sometimes that T-H-C, is that how you say it? Sometimes that can amplify the problem. So some people are texting in saying, be careful. The paranoia comes into play about it. I worry about that. I mean, you told me.

Oh, when I got high as a kid, I would. Well, not every time, but I would get sometimes so paranoid I would climb the walls. Yeah. I wonder like, what would I, how would I react? And also, my other fear is I definitely, if I get into something, I'm really into it. Like if it's a new hobby or something like that, I research everything about it. I want to know everything about it. And so I worry that if I like it too much, that's going to be me, where I'm going to be constantly,

every time you see me, I'm going to have a gummy or a seltzer. Yeah, but okay. all right. Why not? You know, that'd be your new thing. How annoyed would you be with me if that's all I started talking about? Oh, if it's all you talked about. Yeah, I just really got into it. Of course. If you can't shut up about it, yes, you and I would probably come to blows after a while. But if it just became your thing, hell, whatever works for you. Let me go ahead and quote the great Jesse James Dupree again. On this subject, it always makes me think of that quote from Jesse James Dupree.

If it feels good, you know the rest of that? You've seen them live a hundred times. Do it or something. Yeah. If it feels good, do it. John Dear Jesus tells me to stop being a little bitch. Well, I hear, I'm not really, I don't know what it is.

I'm not scared up. Well, I guess I just said I'm scared I'll become a some sort of druggie, like my wife, by the way. But, yeah, I don't know what it is. There's just like an invisible wall there that. John, dear Jesus is a bitch. That's what he is. He gets cantankerous from time to time.

You stop being a bitch, John, dear Jesus. A bit of a negative person at times. Oh, yeah, the drugs. You know, speaking of, you know, feeling good, feeling bad, trying to stay above ground. You know, we started our conversation, voicing our concern for the late. Oh, my God.

The late. What I meant to say is the great Lionel Richie. Jesus balls. If the guy doesn't make it through the day now, you know who to blame. I can't believe I just said that. I know what you meant. We started our conversation. You meant that the show started late.

The show was a little late. We were voicing our concern for the great Lionel Richie. Played a show last night in town. Wish I would have been there. People are telling us that he ended the show early. He wasn't feeling good. We're a little worried about Lionel. So while we're talking about feeling good, feeling bad,

our general health. You know those friggin people. Josh, the so-called expert types, the so-called experts who are always telling us how we should live our lives. Eat this, but don't eat that. They try to tell us what to drink. They try to tell us how long we should sleep.

They try to tell us who to bump. Check this. Check this out right here. Tell me what you make of this, mind F. here's what they're saying now, the experts. Sitting too little throughout your day might be just as damaging as sitting too much. What the hell am I supposed to do with that information? That changes, like you said, every health thing, it seems like it goes back.

Oh, we were wrong about that. You know, they always, like originally, hey, sitting too much is the new smoking, they used to say. I'm going to hold on to this. I went to a doctor once, and I had asked about the salt thing. because I salt everything and I salt salt. I love it. And he's like, you know what? You're better off having too much than too little.

Now, I have no idea if that's good advice or bad advice, but I'm going to choose to hold on to that. Yeah, is the advice you wanted to hear. Yeah, that's exactly what, that's the echo chamber I want to live in. So I've, despite any contrary evidence, I'm holding on to that because I had a doctor, who, by the way, he died of a high sodium contest. I was going to say, was this an actual doctor or somebody met at a gas station? It doesn't matter to me.

As far as I'm concerned, he was a doctor. You know, you got to talk to my doctor. You know my doctor, right, Josh? Vittie boom pots. All right. So, again, check out this life hack from the experts. Sitting too little throughout the day might be just as damaging as sitting too much. I don't know where I'm supposed to take that.

I wonder where a bitch would take that information. Hey, John, dear Jesus, where would you take that in? What do you do with that information? All right. And I'm not even going to continue on with the article because it's so confusing. It says 15% of people who sit this long feel this way. Yeah. So that's all you need to know.

I definitely sit too much. They're always throwing this mind far away. So I've been trying to lie down more, you know, just to get over that sitting thing. You, how many hours do you sit on your ass a day, including when you show up here in the building? Almost all of them? All day. You get on the treadmill, though. That's it.

So 45 minutes of the day I'm on my feet. 45 minutes. Yeah, I up that because my doctor told me over and over and over again. I need more exercise. You do like, yeah, obviously by looking at you. Who are these people that you talk to? So-called doctors and scientists. I mean, that's not the guy I am.

You know that. I know. What friggin' doctor would look at you and talk to you about your lifestyle and then say, well, you could use some more. Are you effing kidding me? Well, he brought it up a few times. He's like, seriously, you need more exercise. See, he was.

I have no idea why he would say that. There's no reason why he would say that. But anyway, I don't know what to do with this. I mean, again, you sit all day, all day, with the exception of 45 minutes, you do a couple laps on that treadmill. Oh, I forgot. I walked to and from my car. But look at you. And I know we're going to set aside the fat jokes here for a second.

Yeah, of course. But look at you. But then again, you think you don't drink, you don't smoke, you don't eat. a lot of bad food. So, you know, there's... Abbs are made in the kitchen. It all depends on... There are so many factors in how you become a healthy person and how you might go the other way.

It's maddening. It's frustrating, especially when, again, the experts throw these wacky statements at us. Hey, careful with that sitting down. Oh, but don't get up, but don't get up for too long. Hang on now. Oh, oh, here he goes. He's getting up. It is humbling I did some yard work yesterday for just about an hour.

And today I'm feeling it. Yard work. Well, yeah. I mean, that's an age thing. You know, you're in your 50s and a little heavy, obviously. John, dear Jesus has gotten back to me now. You know, he called Josh a bitch. I called him a bitch.

We read the statement about exercise and I said, I don't know where to take that information. Where would a bitch take it? You know, John, dear Jesus, what would you do with that information? He texted back and said, I'll tell you what I do with that information. You can shove it up your ass. He ain't no bitch. Come on now. Me and John, dear Jesus, we're going to have a day today together, I think.

We're going to have a hell of a day, he and I. Somebody wants to know, did I stretch before I did the lawn work? No, I'd never, I don't know that I've ever stretched a day in my life outside of that presidential test. A listener just texted in. Cubby was out in the yard Does that mean he was piloting his flame thrower? Oh. It doesn't, does it?

No, it doesn't. He would have led with that. Josh, speaking of not working out or needing more exercise in the neighborhood by nothing group where you can go and hey, I don't need this anymore if anybody wants it. The guy had a little barbell set, you know, 10, 15, 25.

And I go, yeah, I'll take that off your hands. I could start, you know, throwing a little weight around. And I went and I picked it up. I put in the back of my Jeep. I got home and I went to grab it and I go Ah, that's going to be a lot of work transporting that. It can live there for a couple days. That was step one, I acquired the weights

Now eventually the next step will be to move them in the house and maybe lift them. Hey, you started. Exactly. That's good enough. Plus it was exercise putting in the back of your vehicle there. Gosh, that's exactly. Talk about that echo chamber. That's what I needed to hear right there. Yeah, I should probably lift a weight or two. I used to be so into it. And then, you know, it's my wife's fault. You know that druggie I married? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once she agreed

to marry me, I thought, well, I'm done now. I don't, I legitimately that week canceled my gym membership. She's locked in, nothing she can do about it. Did they like ask you for a reason why and you just wrote other marriage? Oh yeah, we get this all the time. We understand. I'm a husband now. I'm at the point now where if I do get a gym membership again, my wife's going to assume I'm looking to cheat.

Because everybody I've had who they're done with their marriage and they decide, okay, I'm all done. I better get in really good shape so I can find the next one. Oh, I suppose. She'd be suspicious. Suspicious, you say. Somebody texted in. You were saying again, you know, you get a little nervous around drugs and alcohol

because you think maybe you'll become addicted. Someone texted in and said, is it addictive? Will I become addicted to it? It's not habit-forming. Well, no. What movie? What movie?

I was going to say, I don't think I'd say, I don't think I said addicted. I'm just worried that I'd like it to me. I was just trying to set up a joke. Oh, okay. Remember the, you don't remember the scene? Oh, you never saw Dewey Cox, did you? No.

Oh. It's a fun scene between Dewey Cox and one of his bandmates. I'll see if I can find it here. Dewey gets hooked on everything, by the way, in the movie. And then his wife goes ahead. His ex-wife goes ahead and marries Glenn Campbell. Try dealing with that. What else is going on around here?

Oh, yeah. Here it is. And my computer froze up. I was just trying to find this scene. What else is going on? It's Thursday. I got one more wife thing. Go ahead with one more wife thing.

My wife got, she's learned her lesson from last time, and maybe this is the drugs affecting her. But she had another dream where I cheated. Oh, not this again. And she told me, I didn't see her until last night. She's like, you know, I was kind of mad at you today. I'm like, you were for what? What did I? I haven't even seen you yet today.

She's like, well, you cheated on me in my dream. And then you kind of kept saying, hey, you know, it's for show purposes. Because it was like an oral sex thing we were doing here in the studio. She's coming up with ideas for the show. Oh, wow. We were receiving oral during the show. And the goal was who could last the longest. And so I was, she was explaining to me that my excuse was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

yes, I got a BJ from, and apparently she was very hot. That's kind of cool that she would ever assume that would happen. That'd be a first for you, a BJ from a gal that's really hot. Well, even just the BJ, I'd be like, wait a minute, this can happen? I forgot about these. I don't know you could put that there. Nobody told me about that. I forgot.

But my excuse was, no, no, no, it's a show thing. It's not cheating. It's a show thing. And I think, you know, that's actually been uttered before. Like, you know, looking up a porn fact or something like that where it's like, no, I wasn't here masturbating or whatever. It was just something we were going to do on the show. So that was her... Your wife and her frigging dreams.

Yeah, she's got to quit the drugs. Ah, frigging drugs. All right. I suppose we could get headed in the proper direction Thursday morning here on the half-ass morning show. Terrific crowd. We got a terrific crowd out there. I'll see what else John Deere Jesus has in mind. Maybe we can apply it to our next conversation.

We'll take a break. We'll come back with the stupid news here in a few minutes on a half-ass morning show. Air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at standard heating and air conditioning come into play.

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benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bealkylaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. This isn't your average podcast. You like party? This is full send. Join the party. So you guys launched the Nelke Love Island. Congrats boys. Who's that? Production, dude. Like five years ago, we could do that easily and it'd be crazy. when we're partying, but when you're like in your 30s a little bit. Well, that's why you barely show up to set, day two.

Just a few hours to party. Steinie wanted to be the host to be the host. It's like, why didn't you let me be the host? It's like, bro, you showed up six hours late every day. I had a girlfriend. The Full Send podcast, following listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. Go. Here we go.

We were talking about drugs earlier. My wife's a drugging. Josh's wife has tried. drugs for the first time in her life. He's not sure what to make of it. I don't even know who I married. No, this is a different. Two THC Seltzer's in almost 20 years of marriage?

She had two THC Seltzer's in 48 hours, correct? Yeah. Over the weekend, and you're wondering, what have I gotten myself into? I was joking around about that Dewey Cox, you know, because you and your wife, you don't drink, you don't smoke any grass, you don't smoke cigarettes you don't do uh it kind of reminded me of how naive dewy cox was when he was first introduced to marijuana in that documentary about his life get out of here do we what are you all doing in here we're smoking reefer and you don't want no part of this shit you're smoking reifers yeah of course we are can't you smell it no sam i can't oh come on dewey join the party

no doy you don't want this get out of here you know what i don't want no hangover i can't can't get no hangover. It doesn't give you a hangover. Well, I get addicted to it or something? It's not habit forming. Mm-mm. Oh, okay, well, I don't know. I don't want to overdose on it.

You can't OD on it. It's not going to make me want to have sex, is it? It makes sex even better. Sounds kind of expensive. It's the cheapest drug there is. Hmm. You don't want it. I think I kind of want it.

He made it sound all right, didn't it? Yeah, thank goodness. Oh, man. That's one of those movies where when I watched it the first time, I questioned my choices. And I thought, that might have been the dumbest thing I've ever watched. Watched it a second time, absolutely loved it. What is it with movies where Will Ferrell's in it that's just so common. You hear so many people say that. Will Ferrell has a reputation for making those types of films.

I don't know if Will Ferrell is in the Dewey Cox documentary. What's his name? John C. Riley, John. You know, I'm thinking of Ladies Man. I didn't see that one either. Tim Meadows? Later on in the movie, there's a scene where Dewey walks into the bathroom and his band

partner, Sam, played by Tim Meadows. They're trying cocaine. And it's the same routine, Dewey. What are you guys doing? We're using cocaine. And Dewey says, well, what does it do? And Sam says, it turns all your bad feelings. into good feelings. It's a nightmare.

651-0-715, Jesus said Tim Meadows is so underrated. I agree. He adds a lot to plenty of things I've seen him in. He does all right. There's another great line in the movie. If you know the Dewey Cox movie, there's a great line where he says, you know, I think I'm doing all right for a 15-year-old

with a wife and a kid. You've got to see it to follow the bit. Does he do the reefers? Oh, he does everything. Oh, he does. So he starts with the reefers. Everything. And then his ex-wife goes ahead and marries, like I said earlier, his ex-wife. Of all the people she could have married. Yeah. She married Glenn Campbell.

That hurt him a little bit, I think just a little bit. What's the statute of limitations on doing liquid reefers? Like, should I call the cops on my wife? No. She should pay for this, shouldn't she? Don't get the police involved. I might get the police involved. Don't do that to it. I mean, you know plenty of cops. She needs to learn a lesson.

Real quick, in case anyone was still worried earlier on this morning, I was worried because Josh told me that last night at the Lionel Richie concert, he wasn't able to finish the show. He complained of dizziness. He had to sit down for a couple of songs, and then he just upped and left. I was worried about that because he's one of my favorite people. Somebody texted in with some inside information. It's inside industry stuff, Josh. Normally we wouldn't understand. Sounds complicated.

It might be. I think I've simplified it here enough. Our listener says his dad works with Lionel Richie's pilot, the guy who flies him from show to show. And he said that last night Lionel was released from a hospital, went back to his hotel, and he will be fine. Oh, that's great. Glad to hear it. And thank you for helping us out with that information. It definitely is concerning. Mm-hmm.

You know he wants to obviously finish that show. sitting down in the middle of it saying he's dizzy and then just disappears. Right. All right. Let's get headed in the direction of the stupid news report. I suppose you can chalk this up to thinking with your Johnson, thinking with your Wad, and then it comes back to just guerrilla kick you in the balls. Self-inflicted, don't you know?

I think they'd call this self-inflicted, a kid in Los Angeles. This kid managed to F up on multiple levels. It says here the kid had a hot date in the passenger seat of his motor vehicle a night or two ago. And I think he wanted to show the young lady just how dangerous he is. So he pulled his vehicle into a parking lot, Summers. and he went ahead with the tire screeching and the engine screaming this way, that way, donuts type of a thing. Round and round he goes burning up the tires, donuts. Have you ever done that?

No. I mean, I've never had a car that could. Yeah, I don't think I have either now I think about it. Yeah, I bet if I tried, I would just embarrass myself. I mean, certainly, you know, whipped around in a snowy parking lot with the e-break. Oh, yeah. Never done donuts. I told you I had that AMC Gremlin, three-speed.

when I was a kid, and I could get the front tires off the ground at the tree. So I suppose I squealed the back. But no, I never went with the donut routine other than on an icy, like you were describing, an icy parking lot or a snowy. So what this kid and his little cupcake there in the passenger seat, what they didn't know was he had pulled into a police station parking lot. He had. That's not the place to get the hand stuff.

Well, there was no hand stuff going on yet. He was just doing donuts. Yeah, but I figured that was what was going to lead to the hand stuff. You do the donuts to impress the girl. I never even considered a hand job when reading this story. No. Never even considered it. I thought he was trying to impress the lady.

Yep. He's hoping for some hand stuff. So a cop who was sitting there doing jack squat looked on out the window and he sees a Mercedes laying down smoke right outside. right outside the front door of the police station. The cop walked on out, and apparently the kid froze. And when the kid asked, pardon me, when the cop asked the kid, you know, what are you nuts or something?

What the hell are you doing? The kid came off like this. He said he was trying to impress the little lady in the passenger seat, and he said he honestly did not know he was in a police station. parking lot. And the cop believed him. I think I believe him too. It's a little surprising, but maybe I guess I don't know what in South Los

Angeles, how marked they are, but if you live in the area, you'd probably know. Most people know where the cop shop is in their town. Yeah, I suppose. But maybe a bigger city that's not necessarily the case. I know a guy who, God, I wonder if he's still around. Older guy

I used to drink with. He had a great story where he just got drunk as balls one night and decided to walk home. and he was having some real trouble with the walking. And next thing you know, he said, a cop kind of grabbed his arm, not in a hurtful way, but like to support him because he was having such a difficult time walking. And he, you know, he's in a stupor. He's in a drunken stupor.

And he says to the cop, well, where the hell did you come from? The cops said, are you, are you okay? Are you going to be all right? You know, you look a little wobbly. And he said, he said he was just walking just total darkness. And he said, well, where the hell did you? you come from? And he looks up and he was in the parking lot of the local police station. The cop said, I saw you through the frigging window. I was worried about you.

I think this kid was being honest. But just for the record, the nightmare wasn't over yet. And this is kind of, I wanted to get mad at the cop for a minute, but then again, I shouldn't. I shouldn't. The cop did whip out that DWI spit machine. And the kid failed the test. So they, they The cop hauled them out of the car, placed them under arrest for that DWI. Cupcake got to go home. And who knows? Maybe she did think all of this was really cool and exciting. And that H.J.

You guys were referring to. Maybe it eventually happened. Still in the cards. Yeah, maybe she likes bad boys. Bad boys. A lot of ladies, especially young ladies. They like the bad boy. So that's how this kid's night turned out.

Wanted to show off for his Foxy Lady. And it all ended up kicking his balls into dust. Gets a D-dub out of the deal. I mean, do girls do that? Guys, we're kind of known for being really, really stupid to impress girls, especially when we're younger, right? I don't know stories about girls that do it. They don't do it.

Yeah, they don't. They don't need to. No. Oh, yeah, I didn't consider it. Girls don't do that stuff. Gosh, there's been, yeah. You just think of some of the stupid stuff you did, thinking that would impress a girl,

and it was probably repulsing them. I think this kid was being honest. Maybe he's a great actor. I mean, I think back to when I was 16 or something like that. Me and a couple of buddies went out onto Lake Minnetonka to do some ice fishing. We went ahead with a few hours of ice fishing. Now it's time to get off the lake. And my pal that was driving that night,

he was driving his mother's Mazda something or another. It was a quick little ride. And this guy who was driving, probably my wildest high school pal. And he decides for laughs, he's going to push that Mazda up to about 75 miles per hour as we're going across the ice. I mean, we were flying across the ice, about 9, 30, 10 o'clock at night. There was a pressure ridge right at the beach, at Wise at a beach, and he hit that frigging pressure ridge. And we flew through the air in this frigging car.

It was like that scene, Josh, from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, when the two, One of the auto mechanics, they steal his Corvette or whatever, and they go flying. I mean, we're sailing through the air. We come crashing down onto the parking lot at the beach. We didn't get too far before some cherries start flipping behind us. A cop pulls us over. And the cop was pretty pissed at what he had seen. And he says to my pal in the driver's seat, he said, I was watching you the entire way.

Are you out of your effing mind going that fast across the ice and then launching that vehicle? What the hell's the matter with you? And my buddy goes into this act. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The guys in the car, they're older guys. I'm only a sophomore. I was trying to impress him.

I'm scared. I don't know what I'm doing. And the cop bought it. Really? Hey, no, no, it's okay. It's okay, man. No, no, calm down. Calm down.

I understand. Pure pressure. I've been there. No, no, it's fine. Just slow down, man. Just take it easy. made the rest of us look in the cop's eyes like a bunch of mean. Hey, you guys were jerks.

Dicks that were forcing this kid. None of that was true. He really turned things around. Oh, he put on a terrific act. He was very good at that. Not the real Jesus said when he was military police. There was a sailor, stole a vehicle, drove around town, crashed into a big construction hole in the back of a police station.

He was drunk. course, we had to go pick them up, he said. F.U. Jesus texted in to said, and he said this, you think girls don't try to impress dudes? Y'all been hanging out with the wrong girls. Really? Well, give us an example. We're talking about when they're younger. We're talking about buck wild things like doing donuts in a parking lot and taking chances,

risky behavior jumping off of, that's what you're referring to, John. That's what I think, yeah. Give us an example of these girls who tried to impress you, F you, FU Jesus. I want to better understand. I mean, if we're talking about a girl who dresses a little provocative to impress us, that's a different story. We're talking about, like, reckless donkey behavior. Maybe they do this, you know, where you pretend you like something that you don't.

You know, for example, like I dated a girl that's like, oh, I love going downtown and partying. And that's something that I've never, even as a young guy, had any interest in. So, of course, I pretended, yeah, that's my thing, too. So maybe that would qualify. Yeah, I want to hear a story from F.U. Jesus. Tell me about one of these women who tried to impress you. Tell me what she did. Where a girl might, you know, agree to go to a concert with you,

pretend she likes the band that she can't stand that you like. That's not at all comparable to driving drunk and doing... Well, nobody's comparing that. I'm saying maybe that's the closest. Yeah, right. I'm going to save your number now, F.U. Jesus. I want to hear one of these stories. All right. Now, before we go too far into this one here,

here, I should remind Danel over there. Oh. I should remind you, Dana, that although it unfortunately has been done, there is a standing rule here in the building against jacking off. Before I get into this next story, you need to remember that. I thought that was the benefit of having my own studio. Nope. Nope. People have tried that.

I've caught two of them. I'll keep my hands in the air. hands in the air like you just don't effing have any concerns. Okay. The goofy pricks over there at Lego. The Lego people. Now, even as a 40-year-old man, Dana, you've told us that you still sit around on the floor like a child and build Lego things. Well, I do it at a table, but yes.

So here's the deal. The Lego folks built themselves a real effing race car. with Legos, and then they drove the damn thing as fast as they could. Dude, it looks so awesome. Yeah, it does. That is really cool. I was reading a fact the other day. Did you know there's more than 80 Legos for every person in the world?

Every single one. Makes sense. F me running. How many of those do you have, Dana? I have zero, zero of them. Like combined pieces? Yeah, what do you think? Just ballpark.

Oh, 40, 50, 60,000? What are we talking about? They're like a dollar a piece. You have 40, 50 or 60,000 Legos? If I added up all the pieces, yeah, about that. Obviously to impress a girl. Yes, of course. Where do you keep all of that?

In the closet? Do you have like pins? That's all it takes to hold 40. I got bins and stuff, yeah. Oh, yeah, and a lot of them are assembled on display. I'm just curious. That sounds like you would need an entire room to hold 40 to 50 to 60. What's your most impressive piece and how long did it take you to put together?

Oh, I haven't done any of the big ones like the Titanic or the Eiffel Tower. You've never done the Eiffel Tower? In Lego form. Don't text about my mom. That's right. Don't even do it. We know a lady who, okay, go ahead. You've built this and that.

I haven't built any of the big, big ones. I'd say my biggest are like a couple thousand pieces. How long does that take? It depends. I mean, if I could race right through, but I try to save her and take my time. They're expensive, man. You don't want to blow right through. set? You sounded like a foodie there for a second. You paid for the full hour. You might as well,

you know, get your money's worth it. You know, I could finish this death star made of Legos. That's hilarious. But I'm going to let it simmer a little bit. I'm going to drag this pig out for a, okay, so F you Jesus, who told us we've been hanging out with the wrong girls. You know, Josh asked the question, do girls act like donkeys to impress us? and what we mean specifically is, you know, wild, just out of character, out of control, stupid stuff. Stupid behavior, putting yourself at risk. I said, I don't know any girls.

So he said, you've been hanging out with the wrong girls. He knows women who, I told them to give me an example. He said, you want a story? Call me. No, I'm not putting you on the telephone. Text in a story. Text it. There's plenty of room on the text machine.

I just want to hear one of your stories. we don't want to be playing around with the telephone. You'll probably cost or something. All right. What were we talking about? Oh, the Lego car. The people at Lego built a race car. They set a new world record for the fastest drivable Lego car.

It says here they upped and took something called a hypercar. And then they created the body of the vehicle out of 327,906, Legos. And then they drove it to a world record. Now, hang on now. They drove it faster than any Lego car has ever gone afore. They drove the vehicle to a world record 69 miles an hour. No, I get it. That's funny. Do you think that was on purpose? Like, we could go 70, but why? It could be. It says here hypercars often accelerate from zero to 60 in under three seconds. They reach top speeds of 250 to 300 miles an hour. So, Josh, did they only push the vehicle up to 69 miles per hour because 69 is, of course,

hilarious? Or was it because they knew that if they went any faster, the Legos would give way and the whole damn car would trouble? That's what I would think. The driver would end up just skidding on his ass after a while because he only went to 69. The old record for a Lego car was 55 miles an hour. At Legoland, Dana, maybe you know this. Do they like glue those together when they, those huge structures? Those big ones?

Yeah, they glue them together. So I'm sure there must have been something like this on the car. Okay, FU Jesus has gotten back to us. He's talking about sexual things. He's talking about girls doing sexual things to him at the Minnesota Zoo and he has sex in public. We're not talking about sex. Sure, we all know women that'll do stuff in the back. Even Josh had sex in the, in the porta potty at a rock concert.

And he's a straight-laced cat. We're talking about jumping off a building. racing cars, upside the... I mean, a lot of people are saying, but you didn't mean not to Jesus. Girls, anytime they kiss another girl at a bar, they're doing it for attention. Yeah, I don't know, that just seems different to me.

It is different. That's not what we're talking about. Like if one of them lit their hair on fire, thinking like, oh, guys are going to like this. Yeah, the guy... Like, guys are going to think this is awesome. Has there ever been a girl at a beer party who threw a bottle through a window? You know, that's what we're talking about.

Like, you might have buddies who ended up in the hot. trying to impress a girl. Exactly. That's exactly where we're going with this. I don't know why, but I'm not letting this go. I'm not going to let anything slide. And by the way, FU. Jesus does say this also on the text machine. He says, leave Josh's mother alone. Hey. So the guy, he has a, he's got a heart.

He does. It took these Lego dorks a year to build this Lego race car. The entire car, like your mother, it weighs around 4,000 pounds. 881 of those pounds are plastic Lego parts. So they got her up to 69 miles per hour. There you go. But wait till the people over there at Lincoln Logs hear about this, Josh. They're going to want to top that.

Made some Lincoln Log cars back in the day. I'll make you a Lincoln Log. Dana. Yes. I don't mean this to be a rude question. Just I'm curious, like, what's the most expensive box of Lego? What would you call it? Just a Lego set?

Yeah. Most expensive one I've bought his thing is like $340. And that's not much, right? I mean, you can't spend the new death stars a thousand. Jeez, Louise. Straight up. Again with the F.U. Jesus. He said once a woman lit his facial hair on fire.

Hmm. Jesus. I don't know if I'm buying that. Ouch. All right. What are we got now? Oh, oh, then this. Folks in Billings, Montana were all falling all over each other, Josh, in Billings,

Montana when they saw the giant banana car driving around town. The giant banana car. The state police there in Montana had to go ahead and pull the giant banana car off to the shoulder. I'm guessing when they saw giant banana car, they weren't sure if it was street legal. You've seen the pictures. What do you think of giant banana car? I think it's cool.

Maybe cool is a strong word, but it's neat. Can we put it up on the website? Do we know how to do that? I think I know who we could send that to. The damn thing is about as authentic looking as you can get. It looks legit like a damn giant banana with a set of wheels. There's four single seats lined up on the giant banana car, driver up front, and then three other passengers can sit behind the driver in a single file type setup,

which makes sense. You know, a banana car can't be too wide. Then it wouldn't look so much like a banana. It's a narrow vehicle. There's no lid. It's a convertible. A feather called Steve has been driving the big banana car for more than a decade. He built the damn thing, which is impressive, if you ask me.

Took them three years to put it together. And it's, like I said, it's about as authentic as, yeah, you'd imagine. Underneath the banana fiberglass body is the bones of a. 19 and 93 Ford F-150 pickup truck. Steve said, the first eight or nine years that I drove this stupid thing, I was probably the most pulled-over man in America. Like I said, I think cops, number one, I think have to pull it over just to get a look at it. And number two, they're probably checking to make sure, you know, he's not risking death

by driving. If it's safe and also like, he might be a little drunk, right, to drive this thing around? Right. Oh, no. What? What? The license plate on the banana car. The license plate simply says split.

Well done. I mean, predictable, but well done. Now, ever since the... Could put like peel out or something like some more car related. We're getting there, Josh. We're getting there. Remember what you just said. The big fat banana car is all over social media.

Everyone loves it. Steve, the driver man. He says driving around in a banana causes everyone to smile and wave and it makes him feel good deep down inside. That's why he drives the banana mobile because he wants everyone to go, yay. You know, he wants people to do a...

Can't help but smile when you see it. Okay. He must come from money or something because that's all he does is just drive around America in the banana car. It's all he does. Maybe he's some rich kid. So,

I knew we'd have to deal with something like this before we put a lid on this story. It says here now, over the years, Banana Car Steve has heard nearly every banana pun imaginable. But he says one traffic stop in West Virginia is his favorite. A cop pulled them over and said,

hey, you know, the reason I stopped you was because back there, you peeled out. He's just having some fun. He's pissing everybody off is what he's doing. Now he wants to go to Mexico, Central America, South America, Eventually he hopes to cross on over and drive the big banana through stupid Europe to come up with money for his adventures. He sells banana car coffee mugs.

He sells banana car t-shirts. He sells crack. And he even once made a television appearance, Josh, with a rapper by the handle of T-Pain. Yeah, people were texting that in, that T-Pain put it in a music video. The banana car? All right, we got one from a lady on something kind of dutish she did to impress a guy. Okay, it's exactly what we're going for. This is from Mrs. Jeweler Sheez.

When she was 13, she wanted to impress some boys, so she knocked down a beehive. That's perfect. Yeah, that's a good example. There you go. That's what we're talking about. Something risky, something stupid, something that's sure to put you in physical. danger. Because I could see doing that being terrified but thinking, well, if it's going to impress

girls. Knock down a beehive. I'm going to knock this thing down. And then she ran like hell? Probably. I would run like hell. I'm sorry about that. Hey, look at this. We've gotten through more than two stupid news stories. That's the first time we've accomplished that this week. Oh, yeah. It's true. Plenty of time.

There you go. And we have time for one more. Maybe even two. Here's this song and dance again. Those people, kind of like attitude shirt people. And again, a reminder, we're having our attitude shirt showdown. July 10th is part of our Independence Day boat party. If you've purchased a ticket, wear your favorite, most hilarious, most ridiculous,

attitude shirt. We're all going to do it. We're going to have a contest. make sure they're not too offensive and save your political crap for some other boring engagement that you want to go to because we're not interested, but we're having our attitude shirt showdown on our Independence Day boat party. So kind of similar to an attitude shirt, there are those people who find it hilarious, Josh, that they're carrying around a novelty bag that says, definitely not a bag full of drugs. I thought that was kind of funny the first time. And then there's the people who actually go ahead and put their dangerous illegal street drugs in that bag and travel around town with it. So two butlords from Kentucky, a 51-year-old gal called Trisha and a 48-year-old dude by the name of Damon.

I don't know if the two of them are banging. They probably are F-buddies. But they're sucking on felony charges right now after police found drugs in their car. Yeah, the cops found the drugs in the car. Says here, it wasn't a traffic stop. Their car was parked in an employee's parking spot at a business summers, so a cop checked them out. They must not have looked like they belonged in that employee parking spot. When the cops looked inside the vehicle, they saw Trisha.

And stupid Damon sitting there. And there was that bag between them that said, quote, not a bag. Now, I don't know if this was part of the joke. Like when the bag was made, I don't know if this was done on purpose for effect, but it says here that the word definitely on the bag was misspelled. That's my number one misspelled word.

I never can spell that right. Yeah. I get a little red squiggly on that one a lot too, Josh. Yeah, that one's my kryptonite. What's the one for you, Nick? Oh, I misspelled. all kinds of things. Oh, my favorite is when you were texting back, you were texting a listener back,

and you were calling yourself a genius. I was calling myself a genius. And you spelled genius wrong. Immediately after you hit send you go, oh, no, Josh, how do you spell genius? You had spelled it wrong. I misspelled the word. I love it. While bragging about my intelligence, I misspelled the word gene.

You could have played that off as a joke easily. Like you were just being hilarious about that. That's how much of a genius I am. I was able to come up with that joke. I turned it into a bit. So again, the bag says definitely not a bag for the drugs. Definitely was misspelled. So I don't know if that was part of the gimmick.

The bag also had a term on the side of it. Lacky spooge? Is that a slang term the young people are using? Lacky spooge? I haven't come across that one. Yeah. Are you trying to be cute? I don't get it either.

You haven't come across that one? Oh, no. I didn't mean that either. So anyway, the real issue was that the bag was choked with dope. It was smooth, full of illegal, and dangerous street drugs. Tricia also had a fake ID. Stupid Damon had some outstanding warrants. So they're all done.

I'll show you some lackey spooge. Just hold still. All right, another example of something a woman has done that was similar to a dude trying to impress the opposite sex. Yes. Silly, silly stuff. Silly, dangerous, donkey-type behavior. Offended millennial Jesus said, what about girls drinking to impress guys?

Doesn't count. He saw a girl, or girl, excuse me, drink three, four locos in two hours, and she ended up in the hospital. Fun story, but I'm not counting drinking. You're not counting that one? No. And I like offended millennial Jesus.

I do. Until now. He needs to do something to get back in your good grace. He does. He needs to do something. Because he is iffy. Okay. Big Sack.

No Jesus, no shezes. Just Big Sack has texted in. He says, when I met my lady, 10 years ago, after Bar League volleyball, she would throw in a grisly wintergreen, toss some Shania Twain into the cassette player, and then rip her 2002 Impala down the highway,

hitting over all. 100 miles an hour. None of it was cool, but I guess it worked, he said. It did. Oh, yeah. Okay. Crazy drivers. I'll count that.

I'll count a crazy driver. All right. Before we go, here's something for you religious types. I'm listening. Have you heard of the Christian side hug? Of course. Of course you have. Scandalous.

Have you heard of the Christian energy drinks? Of course. You have? Well, just this story. Oh. I hadn't before this. Oh. They're getting more and more popular here in the States.

The Christian energy drinks. I don't know. Other than the names. It's got a little holy water in there, maybe? There are Bible verses on the side of the can. Other than that, I don't know what makes to drink Christian. Yeah, I can't think of something where, as a. Christian were not supposed to eat.

Certain religions, obviously, have some strict guidelines for what they can consume. What was your question, Dana? Does it have what in there? Holy water. Holy water? Jesus juice. What was Jesus juice? What was that?

Was that something that Mike Jackson talked about? Oh, yeah, wine. Oh, that's what he called? That's kind of been a slang. But I know, didn't he popularize it maybe? I thought that it was a Mike Jackson thing. Anyway. From his trial that came out.

So here are the brand names for these Christian energy drinks, if in case you'd like to try them. Yahweh? Is that another name for Jesus? Yeah. A gape. I don't know what that means. A-G-A-P-E. It'd be more God, I guess, than Jesus.

Praise energy. And like I said, they have Bible verses on the can. The flavors are cute. Berry blessed. Preaching peach. Blastberry, mighty mango. And it appears to me, from reading this inflammation, younger Christian people are pounding down this product like a sum bitch.

The young Christian crowd loves to drink the... Maybe they'll make beer someday. Like, I don't know, John the Baptist IPA. I don't know. My Bible knowledge is quite limited. Adam and Eve Weiser. Sure. Adam and Eve Weiser.

Yeah. I'll try a sip of that. Get that Christian in me. Give me that Christian side beer. That Christian side beer. I'm a rough rider filled up with Christ's love. God, what a great song that was back in the day. Sports.

on the 93X half-assed morning show. You know, back to those Christian energy drinks we were just talking about. They're selling them, and apparently they're selling quite well with young, God-fearing people here in the United States. Christian energy drinks. What were some of the flavors again? Berry, blessed, things like that. Yeah.

How the hell did they not come up with Forbidden Apple? That's a good one. Someone texted in, that's got to be a flavor of a Christian energy drink, the Forbidden Apple. By the way, a listener has a question. Who would be the spokesperson for these drinks? Ned Flanders? I screwed up. I was trying to think of some...

Oh, you said, what if they had beers? Okay, I was going to say, why was I thinking alcohol? Are these stupid? I thought, like, aleelujah? Oh, that's great. Yeah, that'll work. Genesis, if we're going with some alcohol. Gin.

Assis. Genesis. Or Holy Spirits, we could, maybe... It's an umbrella term for all of them. Absolutely. Absolutely. The last sipper. See, you're built for that.

You're built for that some bitch. Okay. I have to be honest, I didn't prepare at all for this conversation. Are you allowed to talk about the twins? Yeah. I mean, show high pitch last night. Yeah. Joe Ryan.

We're always allowed. We just always have to remember to be slightly negative. No matter what's going on, we always have to throw in the negative. I'm a people pleaser. So you are. Of course you are. So I'll go ahead with this. I mean, I have a.

blanket prepared negative statement that I'll use anytime we talk about the twins in our 730 conversation with Randy Shaver. But just to throw in some negativity over last night's Twins game, they lost by a run. Of course, that's negative, technically. But I'll just say this, just to be the pessimistic type, because some of our listeners need that. They need the negativity. They had a sold-out crowd last night, but only because Otani was pitching. So they're right. That, I think that appeases them. They even had to open up the gates early to accommodate for everybody being there. They did, did they?

Yeah. We'll talk about who else the Timberwolves selected in last night's NBA draft. We'll cover that at 730. The twins did lose by a run. They got a day off today before they fire up a series at home against Colorado. But before we go, we had a spirited conversation. Josh asked, I think, a very interesting question. He said, you know, when we dudes were young,

we were always doing something stupid and dangerous to impress girls. Did girls ever do that kind of stuff? And overwhelmingly, I still believe the answer is no. Girls don't need to do that stuff. They have our attention, no matter what. They don't need to throw themselves off the roof of a house at a beer party. They don't need to. What were some other examples that, you know, do a stupid,

motorcross trick and cripple yourself in front of a crowd to try to impress. I still think overwhelming the answer is no. But a couple more texts have come in. Here's a gal who was trying to impress a guy and she cut loose with the worm at a house party. She was doing the worm. I've seen plenty of that. My daughter can kill a worm. She's awesome at it.

She was trying to impress a guy. She ended up chipping her teeth right out of her skull. Oh. And then we got the answer. This is exactly what we're looking for. This is exactly. This does justify that some women will behave like dudes for attention. And I can't believe, well, I guess I shouldn't say I can't believe we forgot because that's an exaggeration.

You can't remember everything. But this was a standout moment. I think in the history of. Live events. Josh, the gal at Windstock that got her head stuck in an exhaust pipe. Yeah, that's legendary. That is the ultimate example. That is so dude-like, but yet it was a young lady.

This was all over the internet. What was this? 10 years ago. Yeah, it was a big news story. She got her friggin' head stuck in an exhaust pipe. That is our winner. That shows you that, yes, there are some girls who will operate like a dude for attention. but still pretty rare. Yeah, if somebody said,

I guess the name of this person, at the end of every guy name ever invented, you'd stop. You would never throw out a woman's name. Nope, nope. That's why that gal will be one of our favorites until the end of time. Wherever you are, you got it done.

You got it done. We'll take another break, ski. When we come back, Cubby, you'll tell you some more news stories. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life.

That's where our friends at Standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer.

Dave Bealky, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bealky Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialkylaw.com. B-I-A-L-K-E-L-E-L-L-K-E-L-L-A-L-L-K-A-L-L-L-O-D-U. Square up. You know, what's going on, man? It's Andre Beirto, two-time world champion.

You know, I fought. I loved it. I really wanted to do that sit down from a fighter's perspective. My G. What's going on? What's going on, my butt? Now you got a chance to really draw in your audience, to let them see who you are. I've had to have a lot of internal talks to say, do I even want to carry on?

But it's fighters, we know what time it is. I think the time is now. Square up. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Let's go. Half-assed morning show. 93x. To find that missing or endangered person

to bring resolution to that family in a more timely and efficient manner. I mean, that's a win for us. And that's what we're here for. Forget cop cars. The Calvary now arrives with propellers. The St. Paul Police Department says its new docked drone program

is already reshaping how officers, firefighters, and EMS crews respond to emergencies across the city. Police have been using drones since 2023, giving officers a bird's eye view of active scenes. But on May 30th, the department hit the turbo button, adding three rooftop docked drones, one in each patrol district, which can launch automatically and reach a scene in less than 90 seconds. The drones are operated from St. Paul's new Real-Time Information Center where 14 officers monitor incidents, 21 hours a day, seven days a week. You think air traffic control, but for crime scenes, missing persons and emergencies.

The city now operates two drone systems. Traditional patrol drones still require an officer on scene and another officer acting as a visual observer. The docked drones, meanwhile, launch automatically from rooftop stations and are piloted remotely from real-time information centers. The results have been hard to ignore. Instead of waiting for an officer to unpack a drone from a squad car, These airborne first responders sit on the rooftops like robotic gargoyles ready to spring into action at a moment's notice. The drones arrive unseen within 90 seconds, whereas a squad would take five to seven minutes even longer. In just a few weeks, the drones have helped locate 33 people, including missing children, people experiencing mental health crises, and criminal suspects.

The program has also played a role in 36 arrests. St. Paul isn't alone in embracing the technology. Minnetonka already operates a docked drone system. Brooklyn Park recently launched one of its own, and Minneapolis is weighing weather to send its own fleet into the skies. So they just go racing across the sky, and they're quicker than you can say Jack Robinson. Yeah, give information to the cops showing up,

and they've already found that many people. That's pretty great. That is a wonderful thing. What does a robot do after a one-night stand? Wipes off its robot privates. and drives out of there as quick as possible. Nuts and bolts. A wanted parolees in custody after Sacramento County Sheriff's Office deputies

used a drone with a magnet attached to it to disarm him. In operation, the Sheriff's Office, described as a nationwide first. The high-risk search warrant unfolded Thursday when deputies went looking for 30-year-old Austin Carter. Earlier in the day, he'd been seen with a firearm, so deputies knew this probably wasn't going to end with a polite hand. handshake and a promise to, as angry social media users like to say, do better. Instead, they found Carter curled up in the corner of a garage. He appeared to be under the influence. He had a knife

in one hand and was keeping the other hidden underneath his body. In such a confined space, if he were to wake up and suddenly get into a fight with one of the guys, it would be very bad, especially in that close proximity with a knife. With a possible gun in the picture in one hand playing hide and seek from the cops, deputies had to assume things could get dangerous. Video released by the sheriff's office shows Carter appearing to be either playing dead, passed out, or lying in wait. Negotiators tried talking to him, but Carter wasn't interested. So SWAT turned to plan B. After deploying a drone to get a better look, one team member came up with a simple but clever idea, attach a magnet to it. Cudos to the officer or to the instant command who came up with the idea.

This is really, really amazing. The buzzing little gadget drifted in, locked onto the knife, and lifted it away from Carter. Are you kidding me? That's like something out of a freaking cartoon. I know. Carter, who was likely embarrassed when he realized what happened. Ultimately, he did reanimate after his copious use of drugs, and we continued to try to talk him out. But now at least he no longer had the knife in his hand, and none of our personnel were injured. What was that other hand doing all the while?

Was he playing with himself? No, he was just, it looked to me at least like that dude was totally passed out. Were you playing with yourself? Right now? No, I'd take care of that before the show. Oh, wow. That's where you go. Yeah, it's smart to do.

With the knife gone and the mystery hand no longer a concern, deputies moved in and arrested him. The Sacramento County Sheriff's Office said the operation may be the first known use of a drone equipped with a magnet to disarm a suspect before an arrest. Like I said, I thought I'd only see that in a Looney Tunes cartoon, a magnet strong enough just to suck a weapon out of your. It was pretty hilarious.

Or maybe in that original Batman TV series. Yeah, it seems like something that Batman would do. He'd have a gadget like that. A Washington State man was apparently having a bad day and decided to make it everybody else's problem. Yeah, folks do that. They do. Too often.

Now, 36-year-old Brandon Holland is behind bars after a chain of events which sucked harder than a clog dustbuster, ending with police shooting him after he tried to drown his sister in the family swimming pool. Oh, my God. because she was vacuuming too loudly. According to court documents, Holland had already been given the boot from a friend's house earlier that day and showed up at his family's home anyway. I bet they were pumped to see him.

Oh, they weren't. There was a court order which clearly stated he wasn't supposed to be there. Around 7 p.m. June 5th, he was lying in his mother's bed, which is located in the living room for medical reasons. At the same time, his sister was vacuuming nearby. Apparently, the sound of household chores proved too much for Brandon to bear. Police said Holland became so upset by the noise that his mother and sister tried to kick the vacuum villain to the Kirby, suggesting he should leave. However, that request didn't go over well. Brandon became angry and aggressive and a heated confrontation took place.

As tempers flared, the sister said she was going to call 911 and headed outside to the pool. After hearing police were about to be called, Holland told his mother. mother, that's okay. I'm going to kill her. Yeah. Police said he then charged at his sister, sending both of them tumbling into the swimming pool. Once in the water, he tried to drown her. Passion is crazy, you know what I'm saying? You know, that sounds like a crime of passion went down here on this block. The sibling's father rushed outside and shoved Holland off his daughter, ending the struggle.

So the sister grabbed her dad's phone and ran toward a neighbor's house called 911. But Holland wasn't done. The sister told investigators her brother chased out. after her while yelling, get back here, I want to kill you. A neighbor stepped in, briefly slowing him down long enough for the sister to escape into the neighbor's garage. The door was shut behind her and she finally was able to call 911. Meanwhile, back at the family home, things were still unraveling. The first officer on scene said he was waiting for backup when Holland approached carrying a metal baton. The officer

ordered him to drop the weapon, but he didn't want to drop the weapon. No, of course not. In fact, he raised the baton over his head and charged. And that's when he received a taxpayer-funded, copper-jacketed reminder traveling at just over a thousand feet per second. That charging an armed police officer is generally considered pretty stupid. Holland is charged with attempted murder, burglary, assault, and violating a court order. Holland is expected to survive his injuries, which is good news for prosecutors. Hofer plan on sending him to jail for a long time. Well, what, did they shoot him or tase him?

Shot him. Oh, they shot him. An Australian man might be in some serious peril after being too good at his job. Perhaps you're looking around the office or the job site thinking none of your coworkers or any immediate danger of being considered too good at their jobs, so they're probably safe. Nick knows what that's like. I do. In this case, though, authorities are searching for a popular magician who disappeared.

Ordinarily, of course, that would be considered part of the job description, but this guy may have done it a little too well. His impressive vanishing act has his family concerned. Come on. He was last seen nearly two weeks ago, and distraught relatives are worried about his unexplained disappearance. You mean, are you saying he said Al-A-Kazam? He disappeared and no one's seen him since? No, they just don't know where he is. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I thought he was in the middle of his act and, uh, 26-year-old Daniel Hidden, a name that's, of course, pretty ironic under the circumstances, was last seen leaving a residence about 3 a.m. June 14th. These circumstances remain a mystery, but there's reason to believe he may have

disappeared during a hike. Two days after he was last seen, his vehicle turned up at a popular hiking destination. And then there's a quote on his website that's become eerily relevant. Hidden says, transformation requires disappearance. And he describes himself as an experienced tiker who deliberately chooses the toughest, least-traveled routes, A philosophy that's become uncomfortably literal here. That sounds like a real problem then. Meanwhile, the search continues. The Australian Defense Force has joined that effort along with roughly 100 volunteers.

Yeah, that doesn't sound good. No. They still haven't found him. Imagine the luck. A man crashes his car. The first person to stop and help is a 26-year-old mother-a-three training to become a nurse, which is a pretty good break. And then the luck appeared to get even better.

The next person arriving on the scene, a doctor, a cardiologist even. At that point, if you're the guy in the crash car, you're probably thinking the universe is looking out for you. A future nurse and a heart doctor showing up at your accident? What could possibly go wrong? Well, quite a bit, apparently. According to police, Dr. James Kamazi was driving drunk when he slammed his SUV into the aspiring nurse's vehicle who had stopped to help a stranger. That vehicle hit her. The woman who pulled over to help save a life lost her own.

Oh, no. And the doctor's contribution to the emergency was to get out of his SUV, take a look, get back in, and drive away. That woman was 26-year-old Julianna Ramos. The callous cardiologist spoke briefly during his sentencing. No words going to do the past or fix the profound brokenness caused by my actions. Yeah, we know. This guy was just like, I don't care? I guess not.

He maybe realized what? kind of trouble he was in, it took off. I mean, he could have helped, didn't I? Yeah, yeah. Fresno County Superior Court Judge James Kelly said had come as, uh, Kamazi only stuck around, things would have been a lot different. How he stuck around at that point, had he stayed, this case if at all would have been brought as a Mr. Mayor. Following the hearing, he was committed to the custody, the Fresno County Sheriff's Office to serve his jail sentence. There you go, brother. Yeah, if there's one guy to get out. Son of a bitch.

Tonight on FX and Hulu. Thank you, Chef, the highly anticipated fifth season premiere of the bear. Angela Kinsey, Dwight's tightly wound Lady Angel on the office is 55. Jimmy Walker. J.J. Evans on Good Times is 79 and Dino-mite. Can you believe it? Can you believe that some bitch is 79? 79, not at all. Oh, my God.

Happy 40. One of my early heroes. Oh, yeah. I mean, we both idolized. Jimmy Walker and we both wanted to be JJ Evans when we were young guys. So badly. Absolutely. He had all those hot girlfriends. He had Samantha, the human pantha. Everything he said and the way he

said everything was hilarious. What about when he was dating Viola the vacuum? You know what I'm saying. Oh yeah. Remember Lennay? The street hustler that would hang out in the neighborhood, Lennie? Remember his old saying? What was it? Do you remember the character? He had the big fur coat? He said, my name is Lenny. When he'd open his fur coat, he had radios and silverware

watches and anything you wanted. Lenny could get it to you. And he used to say, my name is Lenny. If I don't have it, there ain't N.A. Just plain cool. Happy 45th to my buddy bros. Happy birthday to baby face dump truck, Jesus. The guy who lives in your garage and mows your lawn, Jesus, This text to Happy 50th to his glorious milth wife, who he requested they try and break the bed tonight and not a hip. Holy smokes. No, my goodness. Yeah, not a hip. It gets dangerous the older you get.

I'm not trying to interrupt, Josh, but no, earlier when we were talking about there's a new something or another on the market. Christian energy drinks. Yeah. You can find them. Go ahead. If you're one of those types, you can find a Christian energy drink, and they're very enjoyable. And they've got cute flavors. with punny religious names.

What do you make of this? A listener texted in this idea for a name for one of these, you know, flavor for one of these Christian energy drinks. Walking on watermelon. Oh, that's great. That's excellent. Yeah. That's really good.

And happy birthday to Jay from his best friend, a former Pavs bouncer, Jesus. Randy Shaver. On the half-assed morning show. All right. Is it already 736? Looks like it. The twins suck. Their owners totally suck.

They should sell the team. They're awful people. Beers cost too much. Sure, they've won a few games, but it doesn't matter. Even if they are in position to make the playoffs, they'll either be sellers at the trade deadline, or they'll get whooped by the Yankees in the opening round. The twins will never play in another World Series ever again.

Royce Lewis sucks. Byron Buxton says he wants to be. here, but he really doesn't. They'll both be injured soon enough because they suck. Their bullpen sucks. They're just going to trade Joe Ryan anyway, so who cares? Baseball sucks. Baseball is boring. The poll lads can suck it. Good morning, Randy Schaever. Good morning. Thank you for that clarification before we start. It's like a PSA. It's a public service announcement that I feel I need to throw into the mix whenever we're even in the neighborhood of a conversation about the Minnesota Twins.

You know, an anonymous poll of over 100 Major League Baseball players has revealed which organizations have the best and worst reputations. There's very little elaboration here on what exactly is so bad about these specific clubs, what exactly has made that bad impression on the players. So I'll just go ahead anyway. Let's start with the clubs with the good. good reputations amongst the players. Oh, they would be Randy Schaever,

the twins' opponent the last three days, the Los Angeles Dodgers. Well, sure. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Makes sense. New York Yankees. Yeah. Wend all the time. They went all the time.

Randy's favorite childhood ball club. Cubs, the Chicago Cubs. The Toronto Blue Jays. A great city, I guess. Wonderful city. Of course, they went all the way to the World Series. Came a strike or an out away from being world champions last year. There's a good vibe going around.

The Philadelphia Phillies, the New York Metropolitan's, actually, despite their poor performance. That surprises me. They did make the list of one of the 10 best organizations in Major League Baseball. Huh. I mean, they pay their players a lot of money. The players are financially secure over there. They're in New York City.

A lot of players, I think, are drawn to New York City, and the organization must treat them well enough in other ways to where they've made this list of the best organizations, despite their shortcomings on the field. Another team in that same category, the Boston Red Sox, not so great on the field, but they have a great reputation amongst the players. San Diego Padres and the Milwaukee Brewers.

Mm-hmm. Round out the list of the 10 major league baseball, organizations with the best reputations. Now, how about the ones who fell into the bottom 10? Hmm. The Los Angeles Angels Angels of Anaheim and the greater Orange County area, public and parochial. The Colorado Rockies. Hmm.

Makes sense. Not a great ball club. No. Not lately. They have not been, that's the twins next opponent. They'll start that series up. And even that city doesn't make up for it either. Right.

That's the funny part of that. because I think Denver is a great place to live. Oh, Denver rules. That's what I was going to bring up to, as I've been to Denver, Colorado a couple of times. I thought it was just wonderful. Yeah. Yep, yep.

And that ballpark, despite being so old, is held up well. It's still a very fun place to catch a game. It looks glorious. Yeah. The Pittsburgh Pirates, the... What are we calling them? Are we calling them the Las Vegas athletics yet? You know who I mean.

Yep. Okay. The Chicago White Sox, the Miami Marlins. My feeling is that the athletics, the feeling about the athletics will change once they move into their new ballpark. Sure. Once they become residents of Vegas, I think that that will change. Everybody will want to go to a ball game. Did I mention the Tampa Bay race?

Okay, here are the last three clubs who players mentioned them. Players specifically were polled. and they were asked which clubs have a bad reputation. The final three would be the Cincinnati Reds, the Kansas City Royals, and the Milwaukee Brewers. They made both lists. How does that work out? Somehow the Brewers, when these players were polled,

they said, you know, some of them said good reputation, some of them said bad. No mention of the Minnesota Twins. It is a little surprising. Absolutely. with all the nightmares that we're all well aware of. I mean they're kind of, mah. I have a T-shirt that says that.

It was a Christmas gift. Maybe that's a bad thing. Maybe that's worse. I'm aggravated that you said that on our radio show. I'm aggravated that you used that. But maybe that is it, Josh. I'm not going to say it. You say it, Josh.

Maybe they're just, me. Right. I thought for sure when I found this article that it would just bomb the two. twins organization. Yeah, but, yeah. I mean, it's surprising.

It was, well, it's not a terrible place to live, obviously. We love living here. There's a lot of positive things about living here. I mean, they, before the, before last year's trade deadline, the, the feeling about the twins, obviously wasn't like this. It wasn't terrible. I mean, yes, it's not a major market team. Yes, that struggled to be able to keep up with teams that spend more money,

but still competitive and all those kind of things. But that trade deadline last year changed everything. As fans, we now understood that this is where this is heading, and it was unacceptable. And, you know, maybe they did the polling for this story before that. That could be. And there were only 100 players. It wasn't a huge amount of players that were pulled on.

There might have been one twin on there. So there might have been some other factors involved in deciding that. By the way, there were a couple of specific comments from anonymous players on what's wrong with the Colorado Rockies or why they have a bad reputation. I don't know where to take this, but one player said they're behind on everything analytically. They don't have an analytics department. And one player when dragging the Pittsburgh Pirates, through the mud. He said they just don't want to spend money on anything.

Yeah. Anything. Except their ballpark. Their ballpark's beautiful. Which is kind of like the twins. Their ballpark is beautiful. You know what I was wondering the other day when I was watching the Twins game? What the hell did they do anymore up at that Budweiser party deck? Is there ever anybody up there anymore? Hmm. Well, I haven't seen.

Do they? Just too lightly attended? I never see a live human being up there. Now, in the early days of Target Field, of course, when everyone wanted to go, there were always, I mean, I even went up there once, just piles of people up there drinking and carrying on. Is it something, I'm just curious, is that something maybe where they have company parties or something? It's not the greatest place to watch the ballgame.

You really can't see much from up to, but I'm just wondering, what do they do up there anymore? Well, could it be that they've added so many other bars now around Target Field? because that used to be like kind of the one big one other than like Herbex. They got the one in the left field. They've got that whole outdoor, indoor thing over in the third baseline, right field. Okay, this is good news. Now,

dump master flex, Jesus says he was at a game the other night, or he was at the game last night and the Budweiser party deck was packed. Well, it was a sold-out crowd last night. The whole place was packed. We all know why it was sold out. Show-hay. Just to do the negative thing.

Okay, just curious, because it seems like kind of a sad, empty place now. glad to hear that there was a crowd there last night. And another close game last night. Here I might be accused of glazing the twins, but it's the truth. If a hit or a clutch out goes their way, the twins might have won two out of three in this year. You're such a glazer, bro. Instead, they lost all three.

I'm a glazer. Four three. But yeah, everybody in their mama came out the house and over to the ballpark to see that shady Otani character pitch. hit. Joe Ryan pitched last night. He's a draw out for the twins, too. Otani had a couple of hits. He did. An RBI in there too, I believe.

Mookie Bet smoked his 300th career dong last night. Hell, he had three hits on the night. They lose by a run. They're now, as we mentioned. Honestly, though, other than Otani, Freeman, Bats, and Muncie,

the rest of their team is pretty non-descript. At least right now because of injuries. Tucker's hurt. Tucker and Smith and Bill Smith. The catcher, yeah. Are you a Betts fan, Nick?

I am. Because of the bowling? Because of the bowling. I figured as much. Yeah. I never really thought too much about Mooky Betts until I saw him a few years ago on television.

The World Series of Bowling? I think it was something, it was some bowling event. The dude is incredible. He bowls multiple 300s. He competes with the professionals. Yeah. And watching him bowl and watching interviews with him at PBA events.

He's a really, really likable dude. So as we mentioned, they're staying home. They got a three-game series beginning tomorrow night against the Colorado Rockies. Here's a guy texted in and said the Budweiser deck is usually just used for company events. Yeah, people are saying you've got to rent it out. I didn't know that. Yeah, we went up there once or twice in the early days. Don't expect to keep a terrible close eye on the ball game.

It's way the hell up there, but it's cool. And you just drink yourself sideways and try not to get dizzy. You're way up there, Cubby. You might get a little vertigo? Yeah. You're way the hell up there. I don't know. Randy Schaeber, do you want to get into any trade conversation?

Are you burned out on the Buxton this and the Ryan that and the... Well, I don't think there's anything to really talk about right now. I mean, it's... It's Buxton's made his feelings clear. Yeah, he says, I don't give an F, I'm a twin.

He made that comment a few days ago. And the twins responded by saying they have no plans to trade him. Right, which sometimes, as we all know, can be the kiss of death. Yeah, I think in this case, though, it's probably not. All right.

That's just my feeling. Jeffers. Jeffers has been talked about the bitch-ass New York Yankees want to get Jeffers. Yeah, I think he's their number one player that has the kind of the value that other teams are looking for. Yes, Joe Ryan, for sure. But again, I think we have to kind of see how things play out.

I mean, we still got a long way to go before the trading deadline. And we've said this at nauseam. If the American League stays as bland and as average as it is right now, the twins might be in some sort of contention for a wild card. So I think you kind of have to kind of see how things play before you. It sounds like the Yankees want to get in Jeffers' pants pretty bad. Which doesn't make a lot of sense to me, only because Ben Rice has been really good for them.

And I know the Wells kid has been playing for Rice who can play first base for the Yankees too. But it's not like they have a glaring knee to catcher. Ben Rice has been pretty good. Yeah. Here's a text message that came in and said this now. What did it say? Ex-New-Om guy.

He used to be from New Ome. Now he's not claiming it anymore, Covey. He's ex-New-Om guy. He wants to know about this Otani guy. He said, hey, with his background, Otani's background, while he was in Minnesota, did he get a chance to visit any of our glorious casinos? Is he allowed to?

I don't know. He's got a guy for that, right? Yeah, he's got a guy. I don't know if he stopped by the casino. Can you imagine standing at a sports book? Actually, we don't have those here. We don't have those here. But let's say you're at a sports book.

What's the one in Iowa you go to, Randy? Diamond Joe's. And you see Otani walk into the sports book. Oh, man. Chain smoking heaters is just disheveled. What are you doing here, bro? I'm not sure the people in Mason City would even recognize Otony. You know, they're that out of touch in Mason City?

Yeah. Yeah. What do they know? know in Mason City, Iowa. Castation Taco Johns. Moonshine. Yeah, yeah. Corn.

Yeah, running moonshine and barrels and gilts. Yeah. Oh, bad news on your guy, Mick Abel. Oh, that's too bad. Twins right-handed starter, Mick Abel. We've been kind of hoping to see his return. He's been hurt for a stretch of time. Now, it says here, he has been recommended for arthroscopic surgery.

on his elbow. Yeah. So that sounds like he might not be around for. I don't think he's going to be with this team, certainly not before the All-Star break and it might be until after that before they have a chance to see him again. Here's a guy who's got an interesting idea for Major League Baseball. He simply texted in to say Major League Baseball should get rid of this whole trading gimmick.

You should have to finish the season with the players on your roster on opening day. Hey, that would make for a cool... That does sound kind of cool. I mean, that would make for a cool twist on a regular... You have to commit. Yeah. Sounds boring to me.

Yeah, but what would we talk about all summer? I love the trade deadline. I just think it's fascinating. Well, so do I. I mean, I've often sat around the bar with my bros and talked about, you know, college sports. I mean... You know, college sports with the NIL. and that, my God, players transfer every year.

Like the college that signed you, you should have to commit to them to four years? Now, that I don't disagree with. Right, right. That I'm all in. These are all just crazy little fever dreams that are never going to come true, but. But if you look at baseball teams,

there's a lot of attrition. There's a lot of players that get hurt. You have to be able to move players. Otherwise, you're not going to survive. I mean, the twins are a good example. Right, right down their rotation. So you have to have that option of being able, especially if you're a contender, to be able to trade for other players. But a lot of older guys say, you know, whatever happened to loyalty.

Well. And that's why I think we love. You buy loyalty. You buy loyalty? These days you do, yeah. Yeah, you do. But in the old days, it's funny how we do often speak very fondly of guys who stuck around with one organization. Well, it doesn't happen very often.

Not anymore. It used to happen. If at all, well, sure. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about, is we speak so fondly of these guys who stuck around with one organization. Pretty rare now. And some of them did it out of straight up loyalty. Some of them did back in those days. Randy, you're getting lit up by our listeners on the text machine

because you're claiming Diamond Joe's is in Mason City, Iowa. I know it's on the border, just south of the Minnesota. border. They call the town Northwood. I know. I know what you're talking about. They're not mad at you anymore. Mason City is the big town that's connected to. They're over it now. They love you again. Actually, it's closer to Albert Lee, really, I think, that it is the Mason City. Oh, now they're pissed off again, yeah.

Which is, which, you know, if Minnesota was smart, we go down there and take it and just claim it as ours. Right. It's only fair. Yeah, it's closer to Minnesota. It is, you know, Mason City. Let's claim it. Last night's National Basketball Association draft. Yep. They cut loose with the second round. I mean, the buzz in town was over the top. The timber wolves, yes. I tell you what the buzz is now, though. What's that?

There's a lot of buzz about the wolves trying to trade for lamello ball. Oh, yeah. It's all over social right now that the wolves are very much in contention for trying to formulate a deal to trade for lamella ball. I'm not sure how I feel about that, especially if you're giving up Gobert as part of that, which has been the conversation. And the lamella ball thing could be part of the original trade they did with Brooklyn. They can, because that trade is not an official thing right now until like July 6th. Okay. Whenever they can add to that.

You can drag other teams into it. That's right. You can pull other players and assets and everything else into something like that. So I don't know. How do you feel about it? I mean, certainly he's a great player. Talented kid, yeah, talented kid. I just don't know how does that work with Edwards.

he's not a really pure assist guy. He's more of a scoring point guard. He is. But it's intriguing. It is. It's intriguing. He's a little iffy at times. He doesn't stay healthy.

That's another issue. Yeah, he's a little iffy as far as staying on the court, and I think he's a little squirly up top too now and again. Well, he is a part of the ball family. Yeah, his dad probably had something to do with that. But I'm going to go ahead. I'm not going to be on the fence. I'm going to go ahead and be in favor of a trade for Lamello ball.

I'd like to see it happen. I'm a little surprised that Charlotte would do something like that only because they made such a jump. Yeah. As far as their winning percentage in winning games. Yeah. From the last few years to this last year where they've made the, you know, we're competing.

Yes. So it doesn't make a... Maybe he's a knucklehead and a problem in the locker room. Or maybe they're starting to figure out, okay, what's it going to cost us? You know, that's always a part of this now is who's eligible for contract extensions, what will it cost us? What's the long-term look of where we're at? That would be fun. Interesting.

I mean, but... I suppose the only I was going to ask, you sound somewhat enthusiastic about Lamello Ball, but you're not enthusiastic at all about my guy from Memphis, John Morant. Of course not. Doesn't interest me at all. There's too much baggage. Too much baggage? Just because he kind of acts like a jagoff sometimes.

And Anthony Edwards is pretty immature himself. He put the two of them together. I don't know. That just might be a little much. And I also think that. I'm cool with either one. I'm cool with John Morant and I'm cool with the Mello ball. I'm also, I also think that John Morant really wants the ball in his hands too.

Yeah, that's okay. So as long as he's scoring, that's okay. Yes and no. It might not be okay with Edwards. That's right. I mean, I think that, I think that's what you're, if we're talking about trying to find a pure point guard that will facilitate more than he will want the ball in his hands to score,

I'm not so sure balls that guy either. but if you're asking me between Lamelo ball and John Morant I would take La Mello Ball Some people who are texting in about Jalen Brown From the Well that's a different story What do you call that team he plays for

The Boston Celtics? That's a totally different story How is that a different story? Oh he's just he's a superstar Oh he's an MVP That he's a different level of player Yeah I suppose he is Than these other guys

Yeah he is So last night in this silly draft the Timberwolves did acquire a kid from Duke. I love it. Point guard by the name of Isaiah Evans, and you were mentioning that that might be a tool they use to trade. For sure. Right.

And then... I love Evans. Did you watch him play this year? No. No. Well, I saw Duke play probably three or four times. He's a really good outside shooter, and he's big. He's got a...

I think some people kind of compared him to Corey Brewing. in his size. He's like 6-5. Yeah, he's a tall lanky kid. I saw some videos of him last night. But he's a real good setup shooter. He can stretch the floor. So I think it's a good pick for the wolves. Here's a text from Zelda Master Jesus, who says, Can the wolf stop getting tied to people with jackass dads? So John Morant's dad is a total clown show.

For sure. We all know that Old Man Ball, has the potential to be a problem. That's an interesting point. Okay, so then in the 59th overall pick, later on in the second round, the Timberwolves picked a kid by the name of Trey Kaufman-Ren. Oh, we saw him a lot.

Yes, I'm familiar with him, saw him play for Purdue. Yep. I don't think he's going to be much of a factor for them. Oh, really? Some people wrote up articles last night saying he could be the sleeper second round guy. Well, that'd be awesome. If that's what he turns out to be, I just don't

I don't see him as one of those guys. He was a big shot at Purdue, but this ain't Purdue, is it, Cubby? This is the NBA. It reminds me of years ago, many years ago, obviously, me and my pal. Dane, Dane's father-in-law got us the rock star seats

for the Timberwolves back in the early days at Target Center. We would sit right behind the program guy. Yeah. Second row. And so I mean, we had so many great times. one game there was this gentleman sitting to our right

and every time the wolves came down to our end of the floor Kevin Garnett of course was the player at the time every time the wolves came down to that end of the floor and the players could hear everything you were saying from those seats this guy would stand up and go hey KG they say in high school dog

they say in high school this the NBA dog they say in high school KG's out there setting screens you know taking shots then they'd run down and play defense wolves would come back down to our end of the floor guy would stand up again

Hey KG This ain't high school bitch It ain't high school It's the NBA now dog I am dying laughing Because I don't have any idea why he's doing this Right away And he's even kind of looking over

Like what's wrong with you Eventually he bothered this guy bothered enough because he kept standing up that the 109-year-old ticket guy, you know, came over and said, sir, can I see your ticket, please? And he shows him the ticket, and the 109-year-old ticket guy more or less pointed to the ceiling of the arena and said, no, no, no, your seat is up there. The guy's like, oh, it's up there.

Oh, okay. Oh, my bad. But I just, still to this day when I see Kevin Garnett on television, I can't help but holler at that. Hey, KG. It's not high school. It's ain't high school, bitch. What was his endgame or motivation? Don't know.

That's what's fascinating about it. Nobody knows. That's why he was in that moment. He was the greatest comedy act I'd ever seen. All right. So the word coming straight from a website called MinnesotaSports.com, Julius Randall was toxic in the locker room.

And Anthony Edwards is more or less the acting Timberwolves general manager. The story talks about how, you know, some big trade offers have come to the Timberwolves. Some telephone calls have been made to the Timberwolves, like say, for example, the Greek freak and offers have been made. But every team that's looking to trade with the wolves wants Nas Reid and Jaden McDaniels and Anthony Edwards has been the one, along with Tim Connolly, to step up and say no. There's no way we're trading those two guys. Connolly checks with Edwards on this stuff routinely,

and those are Edwards' two best bros on the ball club and two guys that he thinks will be a huge value to the team going forward. So if maybe... I don't disagree. If you don't follow this stuff and you've been wondering, well, how come some of these big trades haven't been made, the reasoning is they want Reed and McDaniels, And for good reason, those guys are great.

And Edwards and Connolly have been working together to say, no, we'll make trades, but we're not trading those two fellers. I also think the wolves don't have enough draft capital to support a trade that, I mean, look what Milwaukee ended up getting for Janus. I don't think the wolves have that either. But, I mean, those three guys, that's a pretty good place to start building from. And we've known that for a while now. Absolutely. So, I mean, it's just a matter of how do you get the rest of the pieces around them,

especially in a division that is so deep and competitive. And you know what you're facing. Okay, see, you know, obviously defending champions. San Antonio is going to be there for a long period of time. And both of those franchises drafted big in the first round because they, there's the feeling that the bigger that you can get in the middle, especially in the West right now, the better off you're going to be. Because Wembenyama is going to be there for a long period of time.

Wimba yamba. Yeah. And so you saw OKC do that in the first round. And in San Antonio actually drafted big as a backup for Wembe Nama too. So and then it was Kendrick Perkins. one of my favorite basketball television person. He's awesome. I love Kendrick Perkins.

That's why I call Victor Wemba. How do you say his name for real? Wimba Yami. That's why I call him Wemba Yamba, because a year ago or so, I'm watching Kendrick Perkins on television. And he says, Victor Wemba Yamba. And that's perfect. He's the one who says Julius Randall, this was not just a salary dump. Julius was a toxic element in the locker room.

So that's his opinion on the deal. I like Julian. is Randall. If that's true, I'm slightly disappointed. But that's where he went with it. Yeah, I think that's been put out there, though, too. Oh, I was not aware of that. The Lynx rallied from a 12-point deficit last night and got a win. They're now 14 and 4 on the season.

They beat the Washington Mystics last night by a bucket. Okay. Best record in the business. Now, this would have been a much better story closer to Halloween, but I'm going to go ahead anyway. word is some construction was being done to the football stadium at the Citadel College. Isn't that a military school? It is.

Okay. Out in South Carolina, the Citadel. They were doing some this or that to the football stadium. They had to dig a hole or two. And they accidentally dug up 50 dead bodies. Oh, my gosh. Word is this happens all the time in South Carolina because there are so many makeshift, old as hell, cemeteries out that way because of the civil war. Okay.

Is that where they feel these bodies are from that time period? I'll get to that. I'll get to that. What was your question, Jeff? I tuned out for a second. What did they find? Dead bodies. 50 of them.

Took a while for Josh to get ready for that. Well, I had it, but I forgot the computer. He had to set me up. He had to set me up. We work as a team. Yes. I didn't know he's going to say it that way. But this is really common in that part of the country, South Carolina.

That's why vaudeville went away. I'm ready now if anybody wants to put an emphasis on something. Dead bodies! So they say anytime they put in a subway or an arbyes or anything in that neighborhood, they end up digging up bones and teeth and gums. and blood? What movie, Arthur, 1980? Remember the scene where Arthur's sitting in a bar with another drunk?

And he asked, the drunk-ass, Arthur, what do you do for a living? And he says, I'm a dentist. And he's lying, of course. He's just a trust fund baby who has millions and millions of dollars. But they're both very drunk. And Arthur tells, he tells the other drunk, he says, I'm a dentist. And the drunk says, I hate dentists. And Arthur says, well, it's no picnic for us.

know. It's old teeth and gums and blood. I'm sure I've asked this before, but was Dudley Moore really drunk in that? No. If not, nobody's ever played a better drunk. That's why it probably is the greatest comedy ever made. I always heard the late great Dudley Moore. He was simply imitating one of his uncles.

He's perfect. It's unbelievable. Same scene, the old drunk says. you know, communists, communist kids are learning to fight. And all the kids here in America, all they want to do is dance. They're learning to fight,

and our kids are learning to dance. And Arthur says, well, maybe we just need some more communists here. The drunk didn't like that idea. So anyway, here's where you're going to have trouble getting to sleep tonight. They're pretty sure, again, they were digging holes at the Citadel football stadium and they came up with 50 dead bodies.

They're pretty sure that this old pile of rotting human bodies that they accidentally dug up, they say that these folks died many years ago while inside the walls of an insane asylum. Oh my God. And they say if you listen closely, you can hear a nurse saying, medication time, gentlemen. Medication time. For now, construction has been halted. They got to clean up all the jaw bones and the elbows

that have been scattered around. They found one dude they say that wasn't quite dead yet. Monty Python movie? Yeah. Not dead yet. I mean, that football club's got no chance this season. No. They dug up dead bodies from an insane asylum.

What was that sound? Yeah. In the locker room, they're all going to go, what was that? Did you feel that cool breeze? No light will ever be turned off. All the lights are on. Those construction workers are all doomed. See if you can find that scene when Arthur's at the bar with that drunk, Josh,

not to put you to work or anything. I'm almost positive they don't swear, but it's just such brilliant comedy back and forth. Salt teeth. and gums and blood. All right. I don't know why CBS News decided to write an article yesterday on the seven dumbest athlete arrests. Oh, no. Sorry, I thought I put in there. Maybe it didn't. It's an old article.

It was a slow day. I was trying to find something you might be interested in. All right. Well, who's the latest of fun athlete arrest? Probably Tiger Woods. that one was kind of fun for everybody, wasn't it? That came to mind. Okay. Yep. All right. Seven dumbest athlete arrest.

Maybe you remember some of these. Chris Perez, a former big league baseball player. Maybe he's current. I guess I can't say I recognize the name. Chris Perez? Chris Perez. Doesn't ring a bell. He ordered some marijuana to be delivered to his house.

Which, number one, that's kind of dumb, right? to send it in the U.S. mail. I've heard bad things about people who do that. And he put his dog's name on the... He couldn't arrange to pick up his dope somewhere else. You know, at one point or another, it says he was making $7.3 million a year in big league baseball. But he had dope mailed to his house with his dog's name on the tag. His dog's name, for the record, was Brody.

sending it through the mail reminds me of that Mitch Headberg joke, God rest his soul. He goes, I love my FedEx driver. He is a drug dealer and he doesn't know it. Clay Bookholz. I'm sure you remember him, Randy Shaver. Name's familiar. Big league pitcher. Yeah.

He went back to his old middle school and stole some computers. Again, how much money did this guy make? So stupid. That was just way back in 2004. He stole computers from his old middle school and tried to resell them. Claude Giroux, NHL player. I wonder if he's still around. He's top player for a number of years.

State of hockey. Let me know on the text machine. What's Claude Giroux do for a living now? Is he still playing? What was he doing? He got arrested by the cops. at one point or another. Maybe he was drinking, I'm not sure.

Yeah, it sounds like he was drinking. And more than one time, he squeezed the ass of the male officer who was putting him under arrest. Oh, we're forgetting an obvious one. I don't know if you call it hilarious, but Mark Sanchez. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that was something. hilarious in a bad way. Alt-timer. All-timer. It's ridiculous. Someone tells me that Claude Jeru still plays for Ottawa. Well, that would make sense

that I'm not aware. Otto was one of those hockey clubs where you're not 100% sure if they're still there from day to day. Pat McAfee, everyone loves to watch his television show, right? He's a podcast and guys everywhere.

He jumped into a canal drunk and was swimming in a canal. And when the cops put the cuffs on him, he said he was soaking wet because it was raining. Not a great answer under pressure. Gilbert Arenas with the guns.

Oh, no, this wasn't gun related. We were just talking about Gilbert Arinas the other night, other day for some reason. He was caught with 100 pounds of fireworks in his car. Where was he bringing him to Uncle Terry? Oh, no. A hundred pounds of fireworks. That's dangerous.

Yeah, don't spark up a joint in the car if you got the fireworks back there. Right. Patty cakes, all-time great NHL player, ended up his, ended his career as the top-scoring American ever, Patty Cakes. I remember this one. I think he had a few drinks in him. Took a cab somewhere and then got in a fist fight with a cab driver over 20 cents. Oh, man.

And then they always got a pick on our guy, don't they, Josh? This article on dumb athlete arrest. And I'm sure we're missing dozens and dozens and dozens. Of course, people are texting in the bang boat, this and that. Adrian Beederson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. this is just we're just going off this one article you're not that any of you are incorrect but they always got to pick on our guy plastic oberus he's so cool though for shooting himself

in the friggin' leg yeah he is that's that's the thing about plastico is i'd like to go after the guy for that i mean it's just years old now maybe decades old but what's he talked about when he talked about it when he gave that explanation as to what happened It was beautiful. I miss a step, and so my gun slides down my pants. So it's getting it hit the ground, so I don't want to hit the ground. So when it's sliding down my jeans, you know, I go to stop it if I'm hitting the ground. And I don't think you could do it a million times, and my finger, like, hit right on the trigger.

Like, it's like, what are the odds of that happening? When it happens, I don't even realize that, you know, I'm shot. You know, I'm like, I take two or three steps. I'm like, my past. was like wet. I had on some Chuck Taylor's. And I looked down on the top of my shoe was like red. When he's? I looked at AP. Antonio Pierce. Antonio. And I'm like, yo, take me to the hospital.

The way he said Chuck Taylor's, that's when I fell in love with him. He's just so calm about it. If I could sound that cool, ever. If I naturally sounded that cool, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. He does just kind of have a vibe about him. Oh, there you go. There you effing go. I mean, we don't have time for this,

but maybe we can save this for tomorrow. Ranker also, this is just mean, ranker also came up with the list of the ugliest athletes of all time. Oh, gosh. Maybe we're going to save that for tomorrow. And you know what, Randy, you're on the list. Oh, for sure. Did I miss anything, Randy, before we get going again?

I don't think so. Nope, I think you got it covered. Of course, the NHL draft is tomorrow. Oh, the NHL. And the wild don't have picks because of the trade they made for, Quinn Hughes, so they don't have a first round choice. I don't think they have a second round choice either. That's how that goes.

Randy, we'll talk to you tomorrow. See ya. We'll be back in a few minutes on the half-ass morning show. 93.6. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters?

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That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Square up. Yo, what's going on, man? It's on, Jerry Burk, two-time world champion. Today's guest, NFL legend, media mogul. What's up? Ocho Sanko.

What's good? We call them gym fighters. Those guys are being in the gym, they can probably beat the hell out of any world champion they can think of. Yeah. When that bear ring? Yeah. And then lights on, you got 10,000, 15,000 watching. When I stepped in that ring, I think boxing is becoming great again.

Square up. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Let's go. Half-assed morning show. 93X. That's Thursday. We welcome you back to the 93X Half-Ass Morning Show. Randy Shaver was right.

We were talking to Randy Schaber a few minutes ago. He mentioned there was a buzz going around about Lamello's ball. NBA point guard, Charlotte Hornets. That was his club up until 10, 15 minutes ago. Randy said there was a buzz about that some bitch being traded to the Timberwolf. Well, word is, it's happening. And it contradicts also. This news contradicts what I read yesterday.

what I shared with everyone earlier this morning that said Nas Reid isn't going anywhere. Unfortunately, he is. If you haven't seen this yet on social media and this and that, the story we're hearing is Nas Reid will be headed to the Charlotte Hornets as part of this trade for Lamello Ball. God dang. That makes me very sad. Yeah, it's too bad. You know, I think a lot of people are going to be bummed by that.

Oh, many. And a fan favorite. Beyond. You're exactly right, Josh. I'm sure many Wolves fans will not be pleased by this news. Nas was a fan favorite and then some. I mean, there are tattoos on carcasses all over town that proves it. Damn.

I love you, Nas Reid. I wish you the best. Lamello Ball, you better be good. That's what we learned, right? Was there anything else about the trade, Dana? You're the one who found her? A bunch of other draft picks involved, but that's the big pieces. Those are the big names?

Yep, Lamello Ball and Josh Green to the Tim of Rolls for Nassau. Nasreed. You better be frigging good Le Mello Ball and whoever Josh Green is. Yeah, I was thinking of the same thing. We can get into it tomorrow. Oh, no. What? What were we just talking about? Oh, it sounds like there was something else. Oh, I'm sorry.

I love you, Nas Reid. Where are the card players, the blackjack and poker players out there? I never got into much for playing cards. Sure, now and again, when we were young guys, we would sit down, you know and play some this or that but it never became a regular routine you were a regular card player were you not dana right my younger days my 18th has been through about 25 i loved cards

a little too much at times is that when the um the texas holdom craze hit america right yeah right around like 2003 4 when i was 18 and we could get into canterbury we were going and playing all night and yeah got to be a little much at times did you lose a few bucks you know probably along the way I probably ended up under but had a lot of fun doing it. One of my pals, he still goes everywhere is to go play poker. Competitive

poker. It's the only thing he'll wake up early in the morning for. He'll wake up and go to these 7 a.m. Friggin' poker tournaments all day long. Shuffle up and deal. What is this guy's situation, Josh? Speaking of playing cards, I saw a picture in a video yesterday

of a professional poker player who keeps a butt plug on the card table with him while he's playing. Yeah, he's in some trouble. trouble. Is that like his good luck charm? It was like a card cover. Yeah, a lot of guys have some type of like coin or symbol or something that they place over their cards.

Oh, I read it in the article. They called it a card protector. Yeah. Yep. Okay. Dude was playing at an event called the World Series of Poker $1,000 Super Seniors Tournament. So he's no kid. If that's what they mean by seniors.

Is that what they mean by seniors? 55 or something. I'm guessing. He goes by the name of Andrew Martin. Apparently he uses a big fat-ass butt plug as his card protector. And let me tell you, that some bitch ain't for beginners. That is a varsity butt plug. And he uses it as his card protector.

Whoever was in charge of the tournament told him he had to get rid of that fart plug. They said it was inappropriate. Well, when he was told that, Josh, I wonder where he upped and his? that damn thing on short notice like that. I've got an idea. You've got an eye. Andrew said he was unaware of any specific world series of poker rule against the use of an anal sex toy as a card protector.

Well, yeah, dude, I doubt you're going to find that in writing anywhere in the real, not the real book, but the rule book. It's one of those things where we didn't think we'd have to tell you that. Right. It's common courtesy and decency for Pete's sake. You know, I wouldn't know that was a butt plug right away. Of course you wouldn't. I thought it was like a spade statue.

It was card-related. And then when I read more on the article, I'm like, oh, yeah, of course that's a No, you're not the type of guy to know a butt plug until you were sitting on it. That'd be a great way to like prank me, though. Like, oh, you're going to go play poker. Take my good luck spade statue. Son of a bitch. Got to get you so good.

Oh, I was so excited. One of my neighbors when I moved into my neighborhood a few years ago, he's like, you know, we got this poker night, you should come play. And I told him, like, well, I don't really play. He's like, oh, that's okay. Don't worry about it. It'll be great. And then one of my other neighbors said, dude, yeah, he's trying to, you're a sucker.

Yeah, you're called dead money, Josh. Is that what it's called? Dead money. Yeah, they're trying to win some cash off. See, now it's my goal, and it's going to have to be a long game, obviously, since we're having a conversation about it right now. Now it's my goal to fool you with a sex toy. I'm maybe going to try to give you.

like say a vibrator as a gift and I'll try to fool you into thinking it's an eyebrow trimmer or something like that. I buy it. There's some of them that I'm curious like how is that even work? Right. I don't understand that shape. The shape of it is sometimes can be confusing how that's supposed to be pleasurable for anybody.

Yeah, Josh, this device here, you just take the end of your hose and you put it in there and it washes it for it. It'll kind of spin it around. If we just give you a flashlight until you get to want. It's still dark in here, guys. I'm trying to turn this on. So I originally thought it was a good luck charm.

I mean, I knew it was a butt plug, but I thought maybe he was using it as a good luck charm. I didn't know anything about card protectors. Have you guys ever had a good luck charm? 651-989-93. That's our Luther-Blover-Blovington Kia text line. Did you ever go with that gimmick, a good luck charm, and what was it? Feel free to text us. What about you, boys?

No, never. I've never really kind of felt that way about anything, you know, where I thought, oh, I got to keep it. I mean, I guess like routines, I got to have a routine, but never. We're talking about like a physical, like lucky drawers or something like that. See, now when I was in my 20s, I had a pair of lucky drawers. And I wouldn't throw them in with the regular laundry. I'd hand wash them. What made them lucky? I mean, is like a sexual thing or the look on your face says a sexual thing. Okay.

They was my lucky drawls. Not like you played extra, you skated better that day. You know why they were lucky. He walked into the gas station and was buy one, get one, funions. That would be lucky. Here's a listener who says his good luck charm is a pair of Josh's mom's panties. If you had a good luck charm that you carried with you or however it worked, you can go ahead and text us at 651, 989, 93.

Yeah, I had the lucky drawls. Does this count? There's a long stretch for the twins in the mid-200. that I would wear an old disintegrating Dustin Moore jersey underneath whatever jersey I wore to the game. Yeah, I think that counts. I think it was like there was holes in it, bleach stains, it was falling apart completely, and I would wear it underneath whatever jersey I wore that day. I'll count it.

The techs are rolling in. Josh's mother's panties, Josh's mother's panties, Josh's mother's mothers. What's wrong with you guys? Panties and Josh's mother's bra. There was just, this is very random, but it was on a random fact site. I was looking at the other day. In 1838, there was a 14-year-old boy nicknamed the boy Jones, and he got infamous because he broke into Buckingham Palace and stole Queen Victoria's underwear.

He had the Queens undies. Back then, I wonder if they'd kill you for something like that. How long ago was this? 1838. I bet that kid didn't have to buy a beer. for the rest of his life. All you got to do is walk into your tavern and flash the Queen's Panties. You're drinking for free.

You know, this held the Queen's Beave, don't you? That's right. He broke on into the... Okay, here's a listener who said he used to keep a green-haired naked troll in his pocket, and he nicknamed it Speedy. That was his lucky charm. That's funny. Boy, those were huge for a while, those little troll dolls.

Those were all over the place. Yeah, I remember seeing him. on a lot of key chains. Yeah, a lot of desks around here would have just stacks of them. Kind of like a Jeep dashboard with the ducks. You just see those all over the place around here. I see it everywhere's.

I do. So again, there you go. If you had a lucky charm or currently have a lucky charm, let us know. And folks are texting in. Nasreed just got traded. Yeah, we covered that three and a half minutes ago. Yeah, we covered the Nasreid thing. We're very...

It's too bad. Very upset about it. There's some sad people out there, right? I mean, I like the idea of a talented point guard, but Nas Reid is Nas Reid. Intergalactic. Oh, I was hoping that would work better. What are you doing? I was trying to use the robot voice.

Are you trying to do that Beastie Boys song again? Let's see if this one works. Intergalactic. That's cool. There we go. Yeah, say other things when you have a chance. All right, Cubby, while he's working on his... Smaller robot.

That's the small robot. I heard you say robot, but keep working on it. You'll get there. All right. The godless internet thinks that they have found the best slash worst humble brag in recorded history. We've been a big fan of the humble brag for years now. love to hear or read a good one.

My favorite is just how the person who utters it thinks you're a complete moron and have no idea what they're doing. Right. Although, if you ever said something where you realize later, oh, that might have sounded like one and you didn't intend to it all? Probably, but I can't think of anything specific. I know I overthink things, but there's been plenty of times where I thought, oh, shoot, I might have sounded like a douchebag there.

not meaning to probably but there's sometimes people will say to somebody else nice humble brag they don't understand oh that's the worst no no no that was an outright brag yes you know there's that's different there are a lot of folks who are still struggling with the concept you're right and it is frustrating um yes you you have to understand it's well here i'll read it for you right now right here in front of me this is how they define it a humble brag is described as a statement where someone tries to boast about their life, achievements, or appearance, but masks it in a layer of self-deprecating humor, a complaint, or false modesty. You got to remember that.

Don't mistake a straight-up brag for a humble brag. So here's the all-timer. This is what the Internet is saying is the all-time humble brag. An 18-year-old kid jumped up on that godless, soulless, and wildly misinformed social media. and here is the full post he says me and my girlfriend we've been dating for about six months now

when we have sex she orgasms very quickly sometimes really quickly what an a hole when I go down on her it can take you don't like the sound of that I don't know why that

we used to say that that's what we used to say and I don't know why that right now It just makes me cringe. When I go down skis, it can take less than a minute. And hand stuff, he says, with a fast pace, that can make her orgasm in as little as 30 seconds. As a result, she often orgasms three to five times before I do. Now, I really enjoy seeing her orgasm, and it makes me happy.

but she says she gets tired after having multiple orgasms. Because of that, our sex sessions often last less than half an hour. Is this normal? They're calling that the ultimate. This guy is a douchebag. Robocuby. Whoa. Does he get called out by Robocubby?

That's what they're calling the Alzheimer. A few people are texting in their sex problem. It's just they can't have intercourse because they're too big. Oh, no. I wish I could remember all of the ridiculous, stupid, disgusting, humble brags I've heard over the years. There's only one that keeps coming back to mine. And that was the gal on social media years ago who said, if I'm trying my best to bring it back with as much detail as possible.

It was something along the lines of when you go to the mall, with no makeup, totally unshowered, and just wearing sweats, and guys still stare at you. Dot, dot, dot, ugh. That's the first one I remember, the first example. That might have been the OG. That's the one I always come back to. I also like the fishing for compliments one.

Oh, yeah. That's another one we talked about for a while. Can you think of any grand example? I'm trying to think of a really good example. Fishing for compliments. Yeah, I can't get some dumb ones, but nothing really good. Oh, I mean, okay, this 18-year-old kid, the post that I just read, I get where they're going with it. It's certainly a humble brag.

I don't know if I'd call it the best ever. But, you know, who cares? Who friggin cares? You know, I'm just over here just trying to get through the day. you know, with everyone texting in, they're always texting in. You know, Nick, we love you. Nick, we need you. You know, sometimes sitting here until 9 a.m.

It's a little bit uncomfortable on this big pile of money. Sometimes it's a little uncomfortable to sit on that big stack of money. Dude, I can empathize. Yeah, you've got to see that big stack of money. You're like, am I really that good? Yeah, I get texts all the time. Josh, tell Nick he's awesome. Josh, what's it like working with Nick?

Josh, show this to Nick. Oh, they do say, that. But whatever reason they're out, they always want you to show me some. 93X half-assed morning show. Nice. Nice. Lucky charms.

You ever carried around something in your pocket as a lucky charm? A lot of listeners have some interesting stories here. They're lucky charms. Here's a guy says when I was a teenage kid, I got into a fight, knock some dude tooth out. I picked up that tooth carried around for about two years as a talisman for protection. A talisman. Knocked the dude's tooth out, put it in his pocket, and now it is, yes, it is a great word. It is his talisman.

He said, I did lose that fight, though. Oh. But he was able to blast the one dude's tooth out of his yapper. Consolation. One listener says, I have a watch. Whenever I go gambling, I wear it upside down. Started as an accident, but after wearing it upside down. I've only not won one time.

He's a different way to say that, as you could say, I only lost once. But his upside-down watch is his lucky charm. Like I said, for me, it's more just routine stuff. Yeah. I changed my routine once. And it's silly. Like, I'll lay out the clothes I'm going to wear the next day, right? Which is basically shorts and socks.

Every night you do that, you lay out what you know? Yeah, just so I can't. I mean, I've got such a rhythm in the morning. I just cruise so I can get out. the door. I mean, what's the difference if you just, because you wear the same things. Why not, is it okay that those clothes are crumpled on the floor? No. They can't be crumpled on the floor. I have like a shelf for it. Okay, because that's what I do. I just take it off. It's crumpled on the floor next to my bed and when I get out of bed, I put the same stuff on. I put the

socks on the left side and then my shorts on the right side, right? One day, I don't know what it was. I did it in the opposite way. Okay. And I kind of thought, oh, I better change that case something bad happens. So you're, and I didn't. But then the next thing. And I didn't. But then the next day you were sick. Oh yeah? And it led to like the worst week of my life. Oh my God. And it's because of that. Your routine is your lucky charm. Very yeah. If I, any deviation from my routine, it messes me up. It's silly. I wish I could get over it. I'm similar, but not to such great detail. Not to such great detail. What do you say? The drawers have to be on the right and the socks on the left and this and that right? Yep. More lucky charms from our listeners. I kept a turkey

bucket baseball card in my hat while playing beer league softball. Oh, that's cool. Beer belly brawler, Jesus. I have kept the first shell from my first deer. Bring it out every deer opener. He says, I keep trying to get another deer with it, but it won't fire. Stubborn Swede Jesus texted into the show about his lucky charm. Carries with it. He carries it with him every day. It's a cotter key. 25 years ago, he says. He was on a job site and a stinking crane tipped over. We all had to run for our lives. I put that key in my pocket right before all that happened,

and now I never go anywhere without it. Principal Jesus. Scary moment. Yeah, it is scary. He started carrying a $2 bill 20 years ago. Shortly afterward, he found out his wife was going to have twins. He burned that two days. No, just kidding.

He said he now has that $2 bill framed in the house. I'll be damned. Now here's a listener who has a good luck friend. Every time he's at the bar, I win at Pull Tabs, a good luck friend. Oh, yeah. I'm sure there's friends that are dark clouds and there's friends that are good luck. Oh, yeah, there's certain friends who gamble with and certain friends you do not gamble with. I've told you about my buddy who calls himself the black cloud.

And he, I thought it was a joke. But I've seen evidence that he is a black cloud. cloud. There's something about bad things happen to the guy. Now I don't explain. Sorry, just real quick, I was looking for your thoughts. Somebody who's like an energy drain that's just, it takes a lot to be around. Yeah. Would that be considered like a bad cloud friend or is it just a little different maybe? It's different. Yeah, there's just, you know, there's a vibe. Like you might really like the person, but boy, it's exhausting. I understand. Yeah. Maybe not so much a black cloud, but just, I mean, I think you described it best, like an energy suck.

Yeah. Try to explain this one to me, Josh. A listener says it's not a good luck charm, but I do have a mirrored orb that I ponder sometimes. What the hell does that mean? They mean just like something a witch might have in front of her? Oh, like a crystal ball? Yeah, is that what they're talking about? I have a mirrored orb that I ponder.

There's some great words coming in today. There are. I have a talisman. Talisman mirrored orb. Talk about Lucky Charms still here. I have a guitar pick that I've had in my pocket ever since the incident. Oh, shoot. Yeah, I understand.

Your friendly neighborhood garbage man, Jesus says the person who's energy suck. They're called an energy vampire. That's good. All right. Some of you are texting in about Nas Reid. And thank you for being there for us. But yes, we learned about that about 15 minutes ago. We discussed it.

We'll get into it big time, I'm sure, tomorrow. It's a sad, weird day suddenly here in the Twin Cities, knowing that Nas Reid won't be part of the Timberwow going forward. Love that guy. Love what he brought to the court. Love his underdog story. We wish him all the friggin best. And as I said, 50 minutes ago,

Lamello Ball, you better be effing good. You better not F this up. Yeah, there's some sad people online right now. I will kick his ass. I will step up and kick lamello ball's ass if he Fs this up. You know, obviously anything can happen, right? But I am a little surprised. And his name's been tossed around there for trades.

But Nas Reid, I'm kind of surprised they got rid of him. I am too. Because of his connection, you know, to the team. The whole team loves him and the whole town loves him. And he, you know, with Julius Randall going to Brooklyn, it looked as if Nas would be in the starting five regularly. Yeah, there's a lot to say about this. But before we go, I want to leave you with this.

A couple days ago yesterday, we got to talking about a fun event going on in Henderson, Minnesota, this weekend. It's Sourcrowt Days. Who would have thought that one single text message on Henderson, Minnesota, and their Sourcrowt Day Festival would lead to so much conversation, but we've had a really good time with it. A Lister is texted in. Now, part of the Sourcrowt Days Festival is a Sourcrowt eating contest. One of our Listers texted in and said, he's competed in two. Henderson, Minnesota Sourcrowding Contest.

Really? He's never won, but he's competed in two of them. And he says, the 24 hours afterwards, he spent those hours very close to a toilet. He said nothing but water

out the old poop shoot. I'd like to know, if anybody knows, how much do you have to eat to win that thing? What are we talking? Maybe before. Is it impressive or maybe it sounds a little underwhelming? That's a great question. Tomorrow's Friday.

Tomorrow's our Friday. I'm sure a great deal of tomorrow's program. We'll be expressing our sadness over Nas Reid. But maybe between now and Friday, someone from down there in Henderson, who knows a thing or two about the sourcrout eating contest, can tell us. What's it take to win that pig? Yeah. I'd be very curious.

Congratulations to buy. on his last day at the city of Bloomington retiring today. We're very happy to welcome Evie Lee to the sisterhood. Happy 19th to Claire Bear from Dad. Happy birthday to Ranger to Lunge Jesus from all balls, short shaft, Jesus. Oh, my God. We'd like to wish a happy 41st to Reefer Van Jesus' twin brother Andy and only his twin brother, Andy.

Truck and farmer Jesus text two birthday shoutouts. one to his favorite nephew turning the Big O-7 and to the man, the myth, the legend, J-90 Jesus, turning 69 minus 1. And happy birthday to JD turning the Big O-1 from Dad, Jamie, and Mom Lawrence. Hey, Cubby, I'm sorry. Do you want to hear about one more good luck charm? Yeah, absolutely. From one of our listeners. Pornow Jesus said this was his good luck charm before every high school football game.

he would use it before every high school football game and it worked out well. It was his dad's old pocket bronco. Go-Pack, Go Jesus, and a couple others have let us know. Sourcrowt days. You eat two pounds as fast as you can, so it's time. And he said a guy from Iowa did it in 60 seconds a couple years ago. Okay, that is an impressive number to me. Oh, two pounds of crout.

Two pounds. In 60 seconds? Shut up. That's a lot. You're a lot. If you're missing any part of the show today, you can always check out the pot. You mean you're not a lot? I just said you're a lot. I heard what you said.

Take it back. Who do you call a lot? You think I'm a lot? No, I'm a lot. You are. Talisman. 93X. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life.

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