93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Hide ya kids, hide ya wife

Episode Date: July 28, 2026

Originally Aired July 28, 2026: Jimothy the Mutant Raccoon. GTA mode. Entertainer C. Willi Myles. Everything you wanna know about the dark side of Tinder.     Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Rico Kasich, 1978, I believe. We're going to try and let the good times roll with this year Tuesday broadcast. We appreciate you joining the night. 93X half-ass morning show. How you doing, Cubby? Good. How about yourself? Oh, I'm doing all right. You know what I bumped into right away when I walked into the churn?

I bumped into a birthday shout-out here on the text machine. 651-9-89-93. You can always get a hold of us on the Luther-Blover-Bloom-Tin key, a text machine. A birthday shout-out. Jesus balls, I thought my brother and I were the only ones. Here's a guy texting in saying, happy dirty 30th birthday to my twin brother. So there's more than one set. of identical twins?

Oh, did he say identical? Yeah, oh, maybe you didn't say it out loud, but yeah, the text had said identical twins. Yeah, twin brothers. I thought my brother and I were the... Anyway, he says, Happy birthday, happy 30th birthday to my identical twin brother

and soon-to-be dad, Logan. Love you, buddy. I've never said that to my brother. Not even sarcastically? Not even one moment of weakness? No. We've never said that to each other, shared these stories before.

Those things just generally weren't set out loud in my family and in yours. That wasn't a thing. So a lot of this is, sorry, this is kind of new to me to hear all this, all these niceties. Love you, buddy. While you're sweating your ass off working outside today, dude says, think of me nice and cold at the office. See, that's the brotherly love you'd expect. So, right, one twin brother, wishing a happy birthday.

to the other. Identical, too. Well, I don't know how you're going to accept this information, but I have a graduating class of 150 in 1993. Sure. And there were four sets of twins, one, two sets of identical. Yeah, we had a pile of them. Oh, actually three. I didn't graduate with these guys, but the Marceau brothers, we've talked about. Sure. That used to own all the hooters and, you know, they're businessmen. They own all kinds of businesses and stuff. The Marceau brothers. So yeah, I guess we had another one, but we didn't graduate together. Oh, we had a pile of twins in our graduating class.

Jesus, balls. I don't know what our parents were drinking or eating or what they were doing with themselves in 1970, 1971. But in my neighborhood, there were twins climbing the walls. They were everywhere. We only had two. Just two of them. Identical or paternal.

Identical. We had a little bit of everything. Cubby. And I was those both of those sets of twins I went to middle school with as well and I still, by high school I still could barely tell them apart. Now am I mistaken or

Zach Perese, former member of this morning show and I forget what he did for a living he's got a set of twins, does he? It's today's his birthday by the way. Doesn't he have a set of twins? I believe that's a true story. Yep. Yep. I think he and Joe Mauer, another big timer here in town and I can't remember how

he made his fame. He also owns some hooters in town. He seems the type. Exactly. He, yeah, I believe Zach and Joe Mower both have twins. Me and Josh were talking about that off air. Oh, yeah, weird. It was like, I don't know how people with twins do it.

Well, now, it was actually the other day I was reading a stat about twins being born now more than ever because of IVF. They called it the twinning rate, which has increased one-third since the 1980s. So what do you suppose was going on back in 70 and 71 that so many twins were being dumped upon the world? I was going to ask you guys because. I don't know. Quaid ludes. Well, I would say cigarettes? Yeah, maybe cigarettes and beer?

I don't know. I don't know how it works. I mean, there's a set of twins in my family. I have two uncles that are twins. You know one of them. My dad was one at eight, and it was two twins. and there was no in vitro when they were born. So I don't know.

Might have been cigarettes. Could have been. My grandma smoked a hell of a lot of cigarettes. That's so crazy to think about how, like, women were just ripping sticks while pranking it. And then, like, you know, smoking was allowed in restaurants and stuff, and they were just, like, going out and about, just getting all this secondhand smoke in their face. Like, that's so nuts to me. I mean, we've learned now that cigarettes probably aren't good for babies.

That's what they told me. I'm trying to remember how old I was the first time I sat in a non-smoking section, Ashley. Now that you mentioned, I forgot about that. Smoking or non-smoking? You just go to restaurants. My parents smoked. I mean, my mom's been, she's in cigarette-free for like 15 years now, but they smoked when I was growing up.

And I remember we would still sit in the non-smoking sections. And then my dad would like, or my mom and dad would like stand up and walk five feet and then go smoke a cigarette. I'm like, that was this. This doesn't make any sense. sense to me. Yeah, the like mid-high, like, a little wall thing didn't really keep the smoke up from the non-smoking section. Same problem I've heard,

they had the same problem on the airplanes. Yeah, where's it going? Where the hell is it going? Yeah. Even when it was outlawed, for a while, you'd still see the ashtrays right there in the center. Back when they had smoking and non-smoking on those airplanes, I think they would just pull a curtain, you know, and that really

didn't help the situation. So, yeah, we learned that. Cigarettes probably aren't good to dump on a developing baby, you know, while it's in the womb. But maybe there was something about the cigarettes and the beer that benefited the production of twins. I mean, later, my folks smoked a pile of cigarettes, a pile of them. Later in life, I don't know if I ever talked about this, later in life, they started smoking rock. Did they really? Yeah.

So here's a question for you now. Okay, so we'll get to the bottom of this twins phenomenon in the late 60s and early 70s. Are we moving on from twins because I wanted to ask one more question about it? We could always bounce back and forth. You know how we operate? So no subject is ever closed. Go ahead, Covey. I remember being shocked in grade school we had a set of twins.

And it was a boy and a girl, and I thought they were lying. I didn't know it could work that way. I'd always thought twins all. They looked exactly alike. You couldn't tell them apart, anything like that. Until the movie twins came out, of course. Then I understood they can look quite a bit different. Sure. How about that?

That's a little more of a rarity, right? The boy-girl come home. Yeah, I thought they were lying. I thought it was a joke. Okay, I know your brother and sister, but there's no way you guys are twins. That doesn't work that way. A set of twins I've known since we were kids are a boy-girl type of a setup. And, yeah, that's not as common.

But, yeah, my neighborhood was just crawling with them. How about this little question for you? Sounds like maybe one of our listeners has battling with something, and they want to know our thoughts. And the question is this here. Is it wrong that I feel good because something bad has happened to someone that I hate? No. Now I immediately texted this guy back and said, no.

I said, I'm the mayor. of that operation. I'm fully dialed into that frame of mind. I love when something bad happens to someone that I hate. I have a good time with it and I don't feel bad about it at all. So I said no. Maybe I'm wrong. Ashley says no.

Again, the question is, is it wrong that I feel good because something bad has happened to someone I hate? Oh, you know what? I say, have a great time with it. Let me be more specific, though, because it depends what happens. happened to them. It depends like how bad it is. Okay. Because there's certain things that I would never wish on anyone. She has stipulations. That makes sense. Sure.

I have no stipulations. None whatsoever? Almost none. I guess I have heard you wish terrible things upon people. Or I even have to say, well, you don't mean that. And you say, yes, I do. Yeah, actually, I do. I mean that 100%. Oh, there's probably one or two, just extremely. horrible, horrible things that I might, that might be one of those stipulations, but it is not a long list, not long at all. Someone that I really hate, oh no, I'm fairly wide open on that. I'm a big believer in karma, too. So if they, like, did something to you to make you hate them,

then, you know, yeah, they deserve what's coming to you. You have no further thoughts? I agree, Ashley. You have no further thoughts on this? my saintly little life partner? I'm trying to think how to answer the question because I wouldn't wish something negative upon someone other than maybe they just realize that they're a douchebag one way or another, right? You just hope they have a realization. Yeah, like a come-upence of sorts. I wouldn't wish anything bad on someone.

But yeah, it's one of those things where you might feel a little less bad if it happened to them versus somebody who it didn't deserve, right? But nothing terrible, outside of just maybe a reality check. Or, you know, certainly if you do something bad, you should be punished by the law in some way, that kind of thing. I hope that this conversation maybe took a little heat off of you. I'm speaking to the listener who sent the text message. He was feeling, there's a word, Josh, conflicted.

He was feeling conflicted. Is it okay that I feel bad? Pardon me. He asked, is it okay that I feel good, that something bad has happened to someone I hate? I hope this benefited you in one way or another. Don't you think the fact that that person had that question shows they're doing okay? Yeah, I think you're exactly right. Good point.

If you were a terrible person, you wouldn't even think about it. You would just be kind of scraping your hands together. Yeah, you'd be petting a bald cat. Yes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. If you were a bad person, that's all you want. would have done the fact that you texted and asked that question i always go back to this story where we were drinking there's got to be 30 years ago we were drinking hanging out doing nothing

and uh my pal donnie f me running when we were in our early 20s we would go to this frigging beer hall and every time we went there donnie would get nose to nose with this one some bitch they just hated each other hated each other and of course young guys and binge drinking would always add a little fuel to the fire. My pal, Donnie and this big bastard, no matter what we did at the beer, shooting pool, just sitting there listening to the jukebox, it didn't matter. Eventually, Donnie and this dude were going to get nose to nose. They went out in the parking lot and had a lot of fist fights.

It was just. Figure it out. You can't have more than like one or two. There was no figuring it out, Ashley. They just hated each other these two guys. It's just the sight of each other. So fast forward, I don't know, seven or eight years. And like I said, we're just sitting around doing nothing.

And one guy's got the newspaper out. And he says to Donnie, he says, oh, Jesus. Donnie, you're not going to believe this. You know, that guy from the beer hall, you and him gotten all those fights over the years? Remember that guy? And Donnie goes, yeah. And my pal looks in the paper and says, He's dead.

It's right here in the paper. Some bitch died. Donnie paused for a few seconds and he says, well, he's not talking now, is he? Don't you have a similar story about a buddy of yours whose stepdad died in a horrible way? Oh, no. Oh, no. Wait, what? I don't think I know this.

He's told it before. Oh. Mm-hmm. buddy of mine hated his stepdad and by all the accounts that I've heard his stepdad was not a good guy he was an abusive guy

so somebody who had it coming in a couple different ways Josh fair to say that he might have had it coming so his stepdad died one night by getting drunk and falling down a set of stairs and wringing his head off of a doorknob, killed him.

Well, my buddy continued to live in that same house after the fact, and he never fixed the doorknob because it reminded him of that great moment when the guy spilled down to the bottom of the stairs and died. Remember the first time I walked up, I said, what's the story with this door? And he said, oh, that door? Oh, I can't wait to tell you. This is my favorite door. Yeah, it's my favorite door in the whole house.

You want to know why? Because it finally killed that son of a bitch. See, now that I understand. I remember looking at my pal that night and going, you may be the coolest bastard I've ever met in my entire life. Yes. I did not know you were this cool. Some people have it coming and maybe they deserve it.

Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know. Yeah. Wouldn't necessarily wish something like that. I know you wouldn't. I know you would not. And it'd feel a little bit of empathy, but much less so than someone who didn't have it coming.

Yeah. This is fun. this woman says when my husband irritates me, I tell him I hope he stubs his pinky toe. I don't want him hurt, just mildly inconvenient. We all know what that'll do to a player, right, when you stub that pinky toe? Oh, you might say a bad word. I've said to like my husband before when I'm irritated him, wait until I'm done with this, too. Don't have a reaction until I'm done.

I've said, you know, I hope you get in a car accident. I hope everybody's okay and nobody's hurt, but I hope it really inconveniences your day. Park and ride Sheez says kind of what we talked about. There's a difference between wishing bad on someone you don't like and not being sad something bad happens to someone you don't like. Okay. But I think the original texter,

they should be comfortable with how they feel. I'm going to try to find that gray area within myself. There somewhere, but I know what they mean. I sure do. What if the loophole would be you wish that somebody else would wish something terrible to that point? Oh, Christ, you got to back that up. You wish, you don't want to wish it upon them.

Let's say, you know, person A hates person B. Got it. Person A might wish that person C would wish something terrible on person B. A secondhand negative wish? So it's a secondhand thing. So you're kind of off the hook if something bad house. You're not even capable of that, are you, Josh? A secondhand.

No, I don't want to involve somebody else in my problems. Speaking of wishing, Josh, I watched obsession. Oh, what did you think? Dude, I had to, like, skip through a couple parts. Like, the little, like, you know, skip ahead, like 10 seconds. I had to hit that a couple times because, like, I couldn't take it. It was so... The screaming?

It was so stressful. The car scene, Josh, the car scene. Oh, when he's talking to the lady in the car? Oh, that messed me up here. That was kind of silly. It happened so fast. I couldn't prepare for it. And I was like, oh, this is the movie you brought up yesterday, Josh.

about the obsessive girlfriend thing? Nick, you would love this, I think. Well, we talked about it yesterday. I mentioned that it did look interesting to me when I saw the trailers. A guy wishes, like he's got a genie lamp or something, and he wishes that this girl would love him, and then his wish comes true, but it goes too far.

Right? Right. Right. Okay. So you watched it. Now, you really liked it. Yeah. I mean, it was a lot,

and I haven't felt that way about a movie in a really long time where I'm like, oh, my goodness. They didn't really need to, they could tone that part down a little bit. Stressful is a good way to put it. Yeah. Do you, was the, you know, I should look her up so I can give her credit, but the lead actress there, don't you think she did a great job? She's incredible.

She's perfect. Yeah, I've never seen her in anything else before. Me neither. Or if I have, she had a role that must not have been big enough to remember, but she was really, really good. Yeah, I hope this, well, I hope it's like the start of a good career for her because, yeah, I want to see her and more stuff. I dig it.

and I'd like to go ahead and try that movie myself sometime. Of course, I'm always going to fall short on any guarantee there because I'm so bad at keeping up with television programming, but I hope to see it someday. Yeah, I think I know how you're going to feel about pretty much all of it. You're going to hate one or two characters. I know I couldn't stand one or two characters, and you're going to, I don't want to spoil anything,

but there's a couple things you're really going to love. How it all plays out everything. Speaking of television entertainment, last night I watched a little bit of, well, a little bit of is, I don't know why I said that. Last night I watched part three of the latest Dark Side of the Ring series.

They've been covering the career of Jeff Jarrett. I don't know if, Dana, have you done, dialed into that. I've not watched that. I've heard good things, though. It's a three-parter, and I think I'm done now. I think I've watched. All on him? Yes. On Jeff Jarrett, his life, his career, the whole smear. I think now that I've finished three episodes, I think we're done with Jeff Jarrett, and he's one of my all-time favorites. A lot of darkness and this and that, of course, you know how the lives of a lot of these professional

wrestlers go. There's peaks and valleys and up and down. So I'm watching last night, and oh okay sorry this is sort of where i wanted to go but i sort of lost myself once i was done with jeff jarratt i moved on to another what i think is a new episode of dark side of the ring about a brutally bloody match between samoa joe and necro butcher i think was his name necro butcher um it was a very infamous match from 20 years ago go blood everywhere, awful violence, this and that. That was kind of this necro-butchers thing. He was like the king of the death matches guy.

So it wasn't until I was watching the episode that I realized this necro butcher was featured in the movie The Wrestler. Oh, that's a very good movie. From how many years ago was the wrestler out with Mickey Rourke, M-I-C-E-Y-R-O-U-R-U-R-K-E, Mickey Rourke. He's always drunk. Yeah, it was all eight. Okay. Remember the death match that Mickey Rourke has in the movie?

Yeah. That is the necro butcher in the wrestler. Never made that connection. The real-life wrestler made his way into the movie. Now, the reason why I bring this all up is this is SummerSlam week and there's events going on all over town leading up to this weekend's WWE SummerSlam. Tonight, we want to try to keep you up on all this because this is fun. Absolutely.

Um, tonight, there is a screening of the wrestler. Well, wait a minute. This says 1974. There's, maybe there's a different one? Maybe there's a different one. F me running. I'm kind of regretting. Yeah, there is from 1974.

I'm regretting that I brought any of this up now. I did not notice that it said 1974. I thought they meant the Mickey Rourke edition of the wrestler. At any way, at any rate, there is a screening of the wrestler tonight at May Slacks at 8 p.m. Go see it. I'm not trying to deter anyone from going to see it, but I, as you can tell, up until this moment, didn't realize they were talking about a 1974 movie called The Wrestler.

I assumed we were talking about Mickey Rourke, and that's why I brought up the Necro Butcher. Vern Ganya's in the 1974 version. There you go. Dusty Rhodes. Okay. Actually, a good buddy of mine, Chaz is hosting that May Slack tonight. He's a big-time wrestling fan and local media guy,

so yeah, go check it up for sure. I wonder how many, Ed Asner, I wonder how many people. Ed Asner. Yep. How many folks are going to show up wondering, well, when does Mickey Roe? I would have. Obviously, I would have. Why is this in black and white?

So if you have yet to, I've just come back to these episodes of Dark Side of the Ring. I was all over it when it first cut loose and then I lost touch, like I've lost touch with television wrestling in general over the last few years. but now I'm I think I'm close to up to date now on the latest editions and you haven't watched the Hulk Hogan document

I haven't watched anything wrestling related really in years okay so I was wonder if maybe you watched that when it came out not too long ago no we watched it it's a good watch I think you'd like it well no I'm looking at the list of events coming up someone should show that Mickey Rourke wrestler somewhere as well it doesn't look like it's scheduled

anywhere yeah that's a great movie I wasn't aware of this 1974 number, but now that you said, Ed Asner. I love Ed Asner. Who doesn't? So there you go. Sorry for the confusion. I thought I knew what I was talking about the entire time. Isn't that something, Cubby?

Then you get to the end and realize, oh, I've just wasted everyone's time. Oh, I've done that. Yeah. It's a great feeling. I love that feeling. I read the article. I edited the article. Yeah.

And I didn't notice this particular thing that's standing out right now. Yeah, I've had that happen. Remember about a year ago when I got. gave about a 10-minute update on the high school baseball tournament, and then it dawned on me it was January. Yeah, I remember that. And there was no such thing as high school baseball happening. That was a little concerning.

Yeah. That was, I was very worried about myself in that moment. I went on and on talking about who's playing who in the high school baseball tournament. And then I suddenly realized, wait a minute, it's 35 below zero outside. No one's playing. It's January. Well, there's a lot of information coming in. One time I looked at a birthday list, and it was a different one than I usually do.

And I didn't realize that I gave celebrity birthdays. I mentioned four people who had previously died that it was their birthday. And I even did the math. I'm like, okay, they were born in this year. They must be this age. So there even was some show prep there. Yeah, absolutely. But yet you announced.

I just looked at a different one. I kind of forgot they'd passed away. You were just honoring them, Josh. Yeah, people are like, well, how's that person 74 when they died six years ago? Son of a bitch. We were on a roll, and then I brought it to a halt. Stupid news coming up in just a minute. We'll take a break ski and be back on the 93X half-ass morning show.

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Hey, I'm Chris Van Fleet. Go behind the scenes and beyond the headlines with the biggest names in pro wrestling and beyond. Mr. Sandman. All I ever wanted to be was a pro wrestler. So I got to live my life and make people really happy. The heartbreak kid himself, Sean Michaels. Do you think there's anybody better than you were?

I think I was great at what I did, and I think other people were great at what they did as well. Greatness is more of mindset, mindset, motivation, insight with Chris Van Vleet. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. Wonderful. It's absolutely wonderful to be here. Thanks for joining us on the pre-house. program.

Got a couple of text messages here, Josh, before the stupid news report can fully take over our world. We got to talk a little bit about wrestling. This is SummerSlam week here in town. The Double E

putting on a big show this weekend. So we got to talking, well, I confused our listening audience by talking about tonight. There's a showing of the wrestler at Macelax. Remember that movie with Mickey Rourke? And then I found it's not the Mickey Rourke movie. It's an original version of the wrestler from 1974 with Dusty Roads and Vern Ganya and Dirty Dick Murdoch. We got to go along that whole, I guess we'll call it a journey with you.

Yeah, it led to nowhere. When we all realized it at the same time. You know how last week we dedicated last week's show to Ozzy Osbourne? Yep. My little wrestling tirade there was a road to nowhere. To quote Ozzy, that was a road to nowhere. tonight now I was talking about the series Dark Side of the Ring which I'm a big fan of I love that series tonight listeners are telling me that there's a brand new episode of Dark Side of the Ring

and it will be featuring the life and career of the big boss man oh yeah prominent rassler for many years in the double-de-re I believe was his first name and I think you checked out a number of years ago that ought to be good shooting like 20 some years ago. Ray Trailer, was that his real name? Something along those lines? Tonight, the big boss man. I can only handle that show in small doses.

I've heard, I've heard, pardon the pun, but I've heard it's very dark. I've watched a little bit of one. I know what you're talking about. Right, yeah. I mean, obviously, I'm a huge wrestling fan, so I know about, you know, the dark side of the ring and all the horrible stories. But I can only watch one every couple of months or so. It's a little too sad sometimes.

Oh, Christ, I can plow through a dozen of them. I love that. So obviously you can't trust me this morning, but I believe that's an accurate statement. Tonight, there's a fresh episode of Dark Side of the Ring featuring the Big Boss Man. Earlier on this morning, we were talking about twins. There was a set of twins in our listening audience celebrating a birthday.

We started talking about this, that. Josh had some twins in his graduating class. Hell, we had dozens of them. They were everywhere. And we were wondering, What caused that? What causes twins, triplets, things like that? Josh said nowadays it's all those, what's the word for it?

IVF. Where does that again? In vitro fertilization where they'll put a couple of zygote. Fertilized eggs, whatever they are. They put some of those in there. And usually, I mean, two or three, depending on where you go. You try to get your wife pregnant. You try like a bastard, and sometimes it backfires,

and four or five of them fall out at once. It's a possibility, yeah. But back when our folks were bumping, what the hell? How did it happen? How did so many twins pile out? I was wondering if it was beer and cigarettes, but I don't know. I'd heard it was hereditary. Like if it can run in your family.

I have no idea if that's true. My grandma said that, and she had a set of twins, so I'll make her word for it. I heard that too, yeah. I can say that I think my brother and I are the only. set of twins anywhere's on either side of my family. Local 34 Jesus knows a thing or two. No, he doesn't.

He knows plenty. He said that it comes from double penetration and then he followed it up with, duh. Sure, that makes sense. The DP. Yes. Oh, no, my grandma had twins. Oh, no.

That would be absolutely insane if that was the only way you could have twins. Well, honey, do you want two kids or not? You know a lot about the couple, wouldn't you? Let's get it done. Oh, you do want to have twins? Hey, Gary, come on in here. She wants to have twins.

Okay, well, see, this listener texted in, something similar to Local 34 and his answer. He says twins are the result of partner swapping. Oh, really? But I just don't know. How scandalous when there's a set of twins and it's two different fathers. That's something else, right? Does that happen? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, dude, I've heard of crazy stories like that. Explain that to me. Well, one egg gets fertilized by one guy, and then the second egg gets fertilized by the dude with the sloppy seconds. The following night. Could be the same night, depending on what kind of night there happened. Could be the same night. Family game night might be crazy in that house.

So you know lots and lots about how babies are made. I know just about nothing. So really, that can happen. separate dads for a set of twins. Yeah. F me running. I had a thought and I lost it. Somebody else says, obviously, you get twins from doing it twice and one night. Yep, possibility there, I guess.

Sure. Here's a millennial bibliophile. Sheges? She just? What are you doing there? You're either a... What is the gimmick again, Josh? You're either a Jesus...

It doesn't matter. Millennial bibliophile. She says... there are also different types of identical twins. What do you mean? Fill us in. Get a new name, number one, and then fill us in on what you're talking about.

Text us back. So there you go. Oh, I remember where I was going to go with this now. A true story. I have a true story for you. When my mother informed my dad that she was pregnant with my brother and I, she decided to do that while my mother. My dad was on the top rung of a ladder replacing something in the ceiling of their home.

Did it make him fall off that ladder? He wobbled on the damn thing a little bit. I mean, come on. So he always called that attempted murder. He said that was attempted murder to tell a guy he's got twins on the way when he's on the top rung of a ladder. There is, I was looking up like the different types of identical twins and there is like different, it like depends on. It's like very scientific. Like they're based on placental and amniotic arrangements.

So the only company knows how to speak that language. Yeah, it's like really technical, medical. Yeah, I don't know. But we sure had a lot of them in my neighborhood. That's for damn sure. I think it was a world record. When we went through the procedure, they told you, you know, hey, we're putting two in here. So you might end up with two kids, right?

you might end up with twins. Yeah. And, I mean, like I said, there's certain place, the place we went to would only do two, but they're certain that would do three. Octo mom, they. Oh, yeah, that was, how many of eight? That's eight, right? Yeah, she had eight kids because they put so many in there.

What a disaster. Oh, my gosh. After, after, you know, having one, when I'm, like, out and about in the wild and I meet another mom and that mom has twins, it's like I'm seeing a rare species. Like, I'm like, tell me everything. Like, how do you survive? You are a hero to me. Has to P, Jesus said he has two sisters, identical twins, but they don't look alike.

They were part of a study at the U of M when they were kids because of the rareness of that situation. Lick me down. All right. I'm waiting for this millennial bibliophile character to get back to us. She was going to tell us about the different types of identical twins. We got all the time in the world when you have a male. minute. I'd love to know more about that. Here's a mama twins who said that

fraternal twins can be hereditary or the older woman gets the more eggs are shot out. Identical twins are a freak of nature, not hereditary. That's fascinating. How that works out. It's confusing. I would have to write on one of them. Mark their arms.

Yeah. Well, it is something to see when you encounter a set of identical twins that are very, very, very difficult to tell apart. I've known two sets in my day where, and I knew them all the way through school, but all the way through school,

I never had a chance to really tell who was who. I could never get it right. Do you think at one point when they were children, I imagine they were being watched by dad at this point. It seems like a dad move. Like you mix them up, and then that's like you're like, oh, wait. That's just who it is now?

Wait, what one is what one? Do you think that happens like a lot? Along the way, Donnie, who was originally Ronnie, became Donnie. Yeah. I'm sure it's happened. Probably has happened. We only had one. So, again, we had three sets of identical twins.

I graduated with four throughout my high school. God, I can't believe the number was so small. Well, we only had 150 kids. Yeah, but throughout your entire high school, nine through 12, there were only four sets of twins? Yeah. F me. Well, in my class.

I guess I don't know if there were some in other classes, but in my class specifically. Oh. So there was only one set of identical twins that you couldn't tell apart. The other ones, there were subtle differences. I mean, from a distance you wouldn't be able to tell. I'll say they walked a little different. But there was one that these two brothers looked exactly like. Their mannerisms were exactly the same.

I could never tell them apart. I had a neighbor who was a part of a set of triplets. She was an identical triplets with her two sisters. and to the point where one day we were hanging out, my ex and I were hanging out with the couple, her and her husband, and she pulled out photos, and she was showing her husband, she goes, pick out which one I am in all these photos with me and my two sisters, and he cannot do it.

You know, one in three chance, basically. That's how closely aligned they were. They looked identical to each other. It's a freak show. That's not a stressful date and a twin, because, like, at one point they're going to be like, you would, you know, you find my twin attractive. Actually, I brought that up.

up and I got in big trouble. I'm like, so by definition, you think her sisters are hot. Yeah, like you want to have sex with them as well, don't you? Why would you put that person in that situation? There's no way to answer that. I know. He's like, no, no, no. It's all personality. Personality. I'm like, oh, so you saw her at a bar and you thought, oh, I bet she has a great personality. I'm going to go talk to her. Oh, what a terrible situation. I never even considered that. Well, how about this, Covey? This is similar, in my opinion. Do you have, did you have any buddies growing up? up who had hot sisters?

Oh, yeah. Did they look anything like your buddy? Not really, no. Okay. See, I knew a couple of guys growing up who had cute sisters, but they looked so much like my buddy also. You see what I'm saying? No, I can picture the exact scenario.

There was like a little bit of a battle there to where I didn't know how to feel because the cute younger sister looked so much like her older brother who was my pal. I didn't really know where to go with that. Yeah. That would be difficult. Yeah. It was a mind deaf. When you're 15, that's like a mind deaf.

Now I wouldn't care. I mean, but when you're a young kid, you think, oh, is this weird that I? It reminds me of a, so my husband's dad, my father-in-law, when he was younger, him and my husband, look, I mean, they look identical. When you look at pictures, it's crazy. And so I feel weird saying that, though, like out loud to his dad because, I mean, he knows that I find my husband very attractive. And it's like saying like, hey, used to be like super hot, dude. Yeah. Feels weird.

It's a hell of a thing we got going. Insomniac Jesus graduated with a set of twins whose family had five sets in the family. He said apparently it was one short of a state record at that time. I'm sorry, you got to do that again. He graduated with a set of twins. That family had five sets in that family, right? State record. One short of the state record at that time.

Blue ribbon. Should have kept banging. All right. Let's dive headlong into this stupid news report because we've got a couple of stories here that I'm just dying for you to hear. For starters, this is some really creepy stuff right here. The Dark Side of Tinder is maybe a fitting title for this pig. apparently Tinder is not all just dialing up a stranger for a 3 a.m. Blowjay. Things can get awful squirly. I'm sure most of you already knew that, but I guess consider this a reminder.

I never hear about Tinder anymore. For a while, everybody was talking about Tinder. That's not a thing anymore? I have no idea. I just don't hear about it like I used to. I'd imagine it's probably the same for you, Nick. It seemed like when that came out, everybody was talking about it. Everybody was like, this is the best thing that's ever been invented. I think a lot of it now is, at least I've heard from guy friends that it's a lot of like only fans, people on there trying to get you to like subscribe to their stuff. Oh, really?

And like a roundabout way because I don't think they can like advertise it on their profile, but once you match, they're like, hey, you know. Well, then the other thing that I hear now and again, Josh, is that younger people just aren't interested in random hookups anymore, which is concerning to me. Yeah, I have heard that. So anyway, here's a reminder as to what the hell you might encounter on Tinder. What we're talking right here by God is what we're talking about is a quote sugar daddy slash sugar baby type set up.

That's pretty hot stuff, right? Yeah, I know a girl who she said it so often. I don't think she was joking anymore. She wanted that type setup. Sugar daddy, sugar baby. She wanted a sugar daddy. Oh, I know the gal you're talking about. I mean, she, I believe, was serious.

She said it so often. The word is here, the sugar daddy, kid. character in this story proved to be a full-on dangerous lunatic. Let me go ahead with this because there's a lot going on. Lots to tell you. It all started when a 67-year-old feller called David. He met a 21-year-old gal by the name of Mariah on what they call here the Tinder dating app. Dude said he was looking for a sugar baby.

He was. And he said he would pay her $1,000 per person. visit. Dang. Thousand bucks, little man, put that sh in my hand. And Mariah was down with that. She was down with that deal. Thousand bucks.

Dude even said, Cubby, that he would buy his sugar baby dinner. Whenever the hell she'd pop by, take her shopping. And Cubby, you know this. Women be shopping. Oh, yeah, we do. By God, women be. Anyway. David and Mariah agreed to meet

for something or another to eat. I don't know if this was their first meeting, but regardless, Mariah got a ride ski to David House. She got a ride from some friends. And by the way, David lives at an old folks retirement community. That's hilarious. It's the villages. That's the one.

Remember we were talking about that last week, Nick? He said he hadn't heard of it. They're known for being kinky at the villages. Yeah, they're like the STD people, right? That's like they're known to be horny at the villages. Oh, this man, David, lived at the infamous retirement community you were talking to me about last week. Yes. Okay.

I did not catch that. He lives at a retirement home. That is effing funny. And he's got a 21-year-old coming over to the joint. So right from the get-go, David gave him. Mariah $200 right when she showed up and he took her to a lingerie store. Woo-wee. He did.

And Mariah bought some sexy drawers and whatnot with David's money. Can I tell you a side story real quick, Josh, of maybe the greatest brain fart I ever had in my entire life where I just couldn't believe, my God. I think I had been overworked. It had been a long week. I was at a bar gig. It was, you know, 10.30 on a Thursday night had to get up the next morning for the radio show, and I just wasn't all there. Well, this waitress at the bar was this attractive little number.

Stacked. And I thought maybe there was some, what's the word I'm looking for, between us? I thought there was some. Electricity. Thank you. A connection. I thought there was a connection. between us, but I wasn't sure. But again, I'm just kind of spaced out at this bar gig, just kind of

staring at the wall, waiting for it to end. And she walks up to me and says, what are you doing on Saturday? And I said, oh, I don't, I don't know. Why? And she says, well, I'm going on spring break in a couple of weeks, and I was wondering if, you know, you wanted to come with me and do a little bikini shopping. And I said, when, Saturday? Now, I just, I'm just kind of going to lay low on Saturday. I'm kind of beat. You missed the obvious sign. And she says, oh, that's cool.

Yeah, okay. And she walks away. And it's like 1,000, 2,000, 1,000, 3, 1,000, 4,000. And suddenly I went, oh, my God, what have I done? And I walked over and I said, Saturday bikini shopping, absolutely, I'll pick you up. And then I walked away and said, oh, my God, what the hell is happening to me? Jesus, crime. That was close.

How the hell is that possible? I mean, and at the time, Josh, I was like a 33-year-old man. He retired. Yeah, I just, I can't believe. I almost, almost. So anyway, back to this sugar daddy, sugar baby thing. So Mariah comes over. That's the sugar baby.

She comes over to David's place. She's 21. He's 67. He lives at the old folks home. He gives her $200, takes her to the lingerie store. She buys up some underwear. Then they went to a restaurant where David gave her another $600 damn dollars. Remember, the agreement was $1,000 every time she hangs with him.

Then they went back to the old folks home. Well, Mariah started to feel a little uncomfortable. She didn't feel right being in David's apartment. So she texted her pals to come and pick her up. Come on back and pick me up. Well, that's not what David wanted to hear. and David said, well, if you're going to up and leave, you should give me my money back. Because that was not part of our agreement.

Mariah told him to eat a fat D. And she left in a vehicle with her friends. And that's when this sexy Sugar Daddy Sugar Baby Meetup turned in to a life or death high speed motor vehicle chase. David jumped into his pickup and chased them. He rammed their vehicle. at a roundabout. And then since it's a roundabout, Josh, he went around again and rammed him one more time.

Finally, somebody who knows how to use a roundabout. It's kind of fun. Boy, people do dumb things when they're horny, don't they? I suppose. Oh, yeah. You could say that. Mariah and two of her friends jumped out of the vehicle at that point because the vehicle was now incapacitated or whatever the proper.

The dude, he rammed him twice. The vehicle broke down. Mariah and two of her friends jumped out of the vehicle and ran for their lives. One of her pals, a 22-year-old dude, decided to stand up to old Dave. They got nose-to-nose. But Dave pulled out a gun

and told the kid to get down on his belly or he was going to get killed dead. At one point of another, that young fellow was able to run away. Eventually, local police drove up and pinned old Dave on the hood of that pickup. He told the cops that he was pissed, really pissed. because he had been scammed. And then he cut loose with the terrible lame excuses, the terrible lies.

He didn't ram the car. He grazed it. Asper pulling out his little handgun, he said he thought maybe that the car he was chasing was stolen. So, you know, he was trying to do the cops of favor and, quote, control the situation for them. Oh, he's kind of a citizen hero. He is a citizen hero. Dave even told the cops. as they were pounding on him with their batons and shoving him into the back of the car.

He told the cops, he said, hey, I've been involved in a prior sugar baby arrangement, and that one was great. But he said, this one totally sucked. And Dave is now in jail. I don't know. I mean, I guess if I was an older gentleman going through enough of a dry spell and I had the funds, maybe I'd set up one of those two. Well, not that young.

Of course you would. Maybe she'd have to be in her 50s. Oh, for Christ's sake, will you live a little? I mean, that's, I could do that age difference. You know, like a young-looking 50s. Have that it, Josh. I'm guessing she's available. You might not have to buy her stuff.

No transactions needed. Oh, is that right? No wait time at all on that one. The 21 and 22-year-olds, their telephones never stop ringing. They're backed up. That gal in her 50s, she will be available for you. Well, everything's coming up, Josh. The hell's wrong with you.

Yeah, what? You don't think that difference is a little... You're an old time where you're going to die any day now. Who cares? What do I care? Well, that's what I'm saying. Why do you care? I mean, I don't need that. I had dated people that age when I was that age. You might as well just not do with it.

Yes. That's my point. You don't tell me who I can pay for sex. Like, if you're going to do it, You've got to go young. Yeah. F, man. You don't have to be a Catholic dork your whole life. Josh comes in your guys' little scandals.

She's three months younger than me. Yes, I'm 79 and she's 71. You guys do what you want. I think that's kind of gross. You're gross. What? I personally agree that it does gross me out. But if you're, you don't have to pay for that, Josh.

You don't have to be a sugar daddy for that. To get a 50-year-old? You're saying 50-year-olds are so desperate. No, no, no. It sure sounds like you're saying that. You're just probably good. For a second there, I thought you were going to be cool. He started off by saying, yeah, if I was an older guy, you know,

and had gone through a long enough dry spell, I might do that. With a woman in her 50s. You know, the part that excited me sexually the most was the idea I'd have the money to be able to afford a sugar baby. Money is exciting. A thousand dollars a day, a shopping trip, a meal. That's pretty cool. Yeah, that is.

Here's a guy. Here's a guy that texting in and said, I was a sugar daddy for five years. I married her. It's not worth it. All right. Well, now you're going to feel like we're picking on you, Josh. We're not. But one thing that we know about you is that social situations, social engagements are not your favorite thing in the world.

And you're not alone. You've admitted. Yeah, I'm not too. I like some of it. of them, but I'm not comfortable. Sure. I feel like I'll screw it up. You've admitted that there have been times, and again, you're not alone.

I've had these same thoughts. There have been times where you considered taking drastic measures to get out of a social obligation, like say, disabling your motor vehicle by driving it into a wall or something, correct? Well, yeah, more like where it was beyond my control. I couldn't feel bad about it. You know, like, oh, I slipped out on some black guys, not much I can do about it. Cars disabled, that kind of thing. Just like you said earlier, actually.

Nobody gets hurt. Nobody's inconvenienced. Of course, yes. Yeah, right. But you've yet to actually go through with that kind of thing, right? No, like I said, it would have to be something. Sometimes I'm like, God, wouldn't that be great if this happened? Wouldn't that be something if I slid off the road and just, you know.

No fault of my own? No, just kind of bounced into a fence and my vehicle was disabled and I wouldn't have to go to this wedding reception. Yeah. Totally natural. I've had the same thoughts. Okay. Have you ever considered faking your own death? I have not, no.

Okay. But there's probably a situation where I would. would. Yeah, sure. Ashley, yes. You have considered faking your own death. I thought about it. What was the situation?

What were you up against? I was going through my divorce. Oh. I was like, screw it, dude. I'm just going to disappear completely off the face of the earth. You got a tough job for that. I know. I was like, I'm not going to show up. Everyone's going to be worried.

Josh is going to be looking for me for like 10 years. I'm moving Cuba. Well, now we know you're going. I got to answer a text message real quick. A guy texted in and said, hey, Nick, where? is Josh on the riding lawnmower, riding lawnmower situation? I'm just going to text. I'm going to text back and say nowhere.

Where is Josh on the riding lawnmower situation? The answer is no. How do you spell nowhere? All one word. Yeah, okay. All right. I got a Cabota Z-700 right here. It's a toy.

It doesn't count. It counts. It doesn't count. Nobody said it couldn't be a toy. It didn't need to be said. It's ridiculous. You're ridiculous. Here's a guy who went ahead and faked his own death.

and even had a, God help us, he even had a funeral. I'm sure you're wondering why. He did this so we wouldn't have to take his medicine on a DWI charge he was up against. He's a Chinese guy, don't you know? He got caught driving while loaded. That's the situation, maybe not a DWI charge, but that's the situation I could see faking my own death

where there's the possibility I'm going to jail, I don't think I could handle something like that. Despite the fact that I've done time, I just don't want to go back. Well, then consider this a tutorial. Okay. Homer Simpson once faked his own death to get out of highway litter pickup. He did want to do the community service, so he faked his own death. I had a friend that did that.

He didn't care for it too much. Although he said he made a couple of buddies. Oh, that lifelong friends. How do you guys know each other? D-dubs. Dude got caught. driving while loaded, so he's got to go see a judge about that, right? But he had this idea to fake his own death and even fake his own funeral. He was even able to convince a couple

members of his family to help him with the gimmick. So he wouldn't have to face the legal consequences of his D-dub ski. This gang bang took place, I don't know, a couple years ago. The local police over there in China have decided to finally tell the story just for laughs. goes by the name of Sye. He's the D-dub guy. He got pinched. It was his third offense. This would have been his third D-dub conviction. So he knew he was looking at some real legit incarceration. So while he was out on bail, Sai convinced his wife and his old broken-down grandma to follow his lead so he could, quote, run away without the fear of the police looking for him. He was willing to run away for the rest of his life. What is this guy, a three-year-old? I just can't

believe, you'd have to be a three-year-old to think that this was going to work. I mean, some people are just wired so wrong. So, first they bought a coffin. Then, Cy scattered empty pill bottles throughout his house. He had even practiced holding his breath for long periods of time. And even used some type of cooling equipment to keep his body cold, all in an effort to make it look like he had overdosed on pills and was deader than disco. Now, it says here that his mother, and again, the broken down old grandmother, covered his

face with a towel claiming that the drugs had deformed his face. I don't think that happens. Now the story cuts right to the funeral. So if you're wondering how he faked his way past the police and coroners and all that mess, I'll fill you in shortly. So it says the funeral was carried out the same day. The coffin was dumped into the ground. Of course, Sye was not in the coffin.

The whole works. People crying up and down. It's just so weird to me. I don't know how common this is in China, but it sounds like if someone drops dead in your house, you can just say, well, he's done. Dig a hole. Right?

Yeah. Because, I mean, he... Because is nobody like, hey, you know, we don't have to like rush this. It's a little incentive. Right. They have a little bit of morning here. They just went straight outside and put a coffin in the ground.

I'm like it's the dog or something. The police quickly picked up on things like the coffin had been purchased before his death and the fact that the family never called an ambulance or alerted the cops about his death. So there you go. That's how they skirted past the police and they just said a body coming through. This is sigh in the coffin. He's dead. Look out.

We're digging a hole. then of course someone saw at a bank pulling out piles of cash bank records and surveillance videos proved that Cy was running around trying to leave town the cops caught him and now he's in about five times the trouble he would have originally been in for that third Dewey I was telling

you about didn't think that far ahead I guess or a little too confident truly unbelievable that this grown man had this idea and he's able to convince his mother and his grandmother and those old ladies are now also looking at time for going along with what turned out to be one of the dumbest ideas ever.

I think I could convince my mother to do this for me. Oh, I'm sure there are plenty of mothers who would do that. Not a significant other. He'd be like, no, you're so stupid. I'm not. Absolutely not. From what you've said, your mom would help you bury the body. 100%.

That's my home girl. Maybe I shouldn't say a lot of mothers who would do that. I would do it. There you go. I'm sorry, what? I said I would do it. I would do anything. You would do that.

But that's because my son's not old enough to be a D-Bag yet to me. So speaking like right now. It would be a hell of a deal if you got a DWI these days. Yeah, that would be insane. Sports on the 93X half-assed morning show. She's a saint. You know, we all know that, the people that know her. But things happen, you know, things happen,

and you just, you got to work through it. But it'll all work out long. We all love EB and seeing these kind of things happen. But there's always a blessing in there somewhere. Eric will work through it. He's got a great support group here as it is a family, and then we'll just let time take care of it from there. Well, you know, it happens.

It happens once in a while where, you know, you shoot your mother. Sure. What? One of those things. It happens once in a while where a child will shoot their mama. But don't worry, actually. There's a blessing in there somewhere. Uh-huh.

That was Kansas City Chiefs head coach, Andy Reed, trying to put a flowery spin on one of the most horrific stories I've heard in a while. Well, I guess. Did you watch his whole? Since Mark Sanchez, I guess. We keep bringing up Mark Sanchez because he's like the, what do they call it, Josh? Poster child. Well, yeah, he's kind of the rule, the line.

Sure. What was the question? Did you watch his whole statement? No. No, I can't stand the sight of Andy Reid, so I try to avoid him at all costs. Watch it and see if you can figure out what happened. It's very confusing. everything he said.

You could tell maybe he was so shocked, didn't quite know what to say, and maybe didn't even have time to formulate a thought. I'd be interested in what you thought. Okay, so I need to watch. I need to listen as well? Yeah, watch and listen. Okay, and something happens there.

You want to see if I notice it. Well, no, no, just that it was so confusing. And, like you said, he's trying to put a positive spin on it, and I don't think he had time to prepare. The story, we haven't even told the story yet. Yeah, I want to know what's going on here. Andy Reid's offensive coordinator, a guy by the name, I'll get there, a guy by the name of Eric B. Enemy.

I remember him when he was a college running back for the University of Colorado. He was a talented running back. He's been coaching for years in the National Football League, currently the offensive coordinator for the Chiefs. Eric Bienami's son shot Eric's wife, the child's mother. Multiple times. And she's in the hospital, in intensive care. I don't know her current situation.

F me running. What in the hell is going on out there? So I was immediately assuming it was something like, oh, a gun was left out and like a little kid accidentally. No, this is a 22, 3. This is a grown person. Sorry, I should have maybe made that clear. This is a grown person, the son.

I don't know. What he looks to be 20, 21? I don't know. He's 27. How can you even try to put a pot? Like, I understand he has to do that. I don't know. I don't know. He kind of has a look on his face that,

says, I'm the type of guy that's going to shoot my mom. I don't know if you looked at his mug shot. Oh, really? Kind of looks like. I hope I never give that vibe off. I did. I did look at a picture of Eric B. enemy's son.

And yeah, he doesn't look all there. Doesn't look all there. At least in that photo. All right. We'll cover that with Randy Shaver, Brad Ryder, today. There's plenty more to go through on the subject. But it's just like what the F is happening. tonight let's go ahead with a baseball game twins and royals over there at target field and real quick

before we go we've been talking up and down this morning about twins and triplets and quadruplets and IVF is that how you say it Josh IVF sometimes that creates a pile of babies at once this is interesting we were all sharing hey we had this many sets of twins in our graduating class and I had this many sets of twins some were identical some of them were for a dude here says he went to high school in 1989 there were a set of brothers in his grade but they weren't twins there were nine months apart but mom and dad sent him to the same grade

that must have been that's very unique very unique just makes things a little simpler I guess yeah you don't got to worry about maybe they're in the same classes together and that makes things easier Josh will be back in a couple minutes with some more news 90. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh.

That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs, podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at Standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make.

you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits

for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Biolki-Lewalky-0. or go to Bialki law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Scrolling with Haley.

I'm Haley Karenea. I scroll with the homies here in the live chat because there's a lot to scroll through on X, on Instagram, on TikTok. Cutting through the clutter, one hot take at a time. Love seeing you all in the chat before the show. I tried to jump in just a few minutes before to say hello. I love the chat interaction.

Thank you for helping. But I do it to get all of the videos and all of the content that you won't. Don't find anywhere else. Scrolling with Haley. Just search that up and I will be there. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Half-assed morning show.

93X. You are not a hero. If you did this, you're a zero. Ooh, sick burn. You could make an argument. A Milwaukee mother may have slightly overreacted here. 33-year-old Cassetta Bernal collected criminal charges this month

like your average Wisconsinite collects OWIs. 22. 18 of them felonies after opening fire on a 12-year-old boy over the high-stakes cutthroat world of neighborhood bottled water-selling turf wars. When her son called to report his cooler had been smashed, mom did what any loving parent would do.

She snatched her girlfriend's gun, packed five kids into a stolen Nissan Pathfinder, and took off like a bat out of hell to handle business. After a brief, probably intellectually stimulating confrontation, she whipped out a pistol from her glove box and offered the rival child a polite warning, We're going to do this. Oh! As the 12...

What do you mean now? We're going to do what? There's a lot to read into here, but she's holding a gun. He's 12. He wisely ran for his life. And then she fired into the ground to scare him. But then she had second thoughts and fired a second shot hitting him in the leg while screaming, I should have killed your ass.

And then she sped away a true contender for Mother of the Year. When police spotted her pathfinder against Olin later that evening, she blew right through a stop sign, which led officers on an 83-mile-per-hour nearly six-mile, excuse me, six-mile high-speed chase, once swerving toward an officer laying down some stopsticks. When police finally boxed her in, the four kids trapped inside were left crying and visibly shaking from mom's unhinged family outing.

There's so much stuff going on in this complaint. Here you have what started as a dispute between two groups of children for water bottle selling turf. Ms. Brell had been out of prison for 11 days. That's right. She'd only been out for 11 days. That's it. Didn't learn a lesson the last time. 11 days.

She brushed off her total disregard for human life by claiming, you see, I was simply in GTA mode. Oh, my God, I hate her. This is a grown woman. Yep. When confronted about aiming for the officer, she said, yeah, he was there, but you know, I'm a good driver. Recorded jail calls captured her flip-flopping between profound regret and under-earned bravado about her actions toward the child. After admitting she had to get rid of us by chucking the gun out the window, she bragged she was actually a hero and claimed the entire community agrees. Everyone in town agrees that she's a hero?

Everybody. I'd love to hear those statements. Turns out the community does not agree. Oh. And she was given a reality check in court. She shot the boy and later admitted to it on recorded jail calls, calling herself, quote, a hero. Nobody in the community, nobody in the hood thinks somebody that shoots a 12-year-old kid is a hero. You are not a hero.

If you did this, you're a zero. Who's that guy? That's the burn we started with one of the prosecutors. Oh. She already has prior convictions on her impressive resume. I mean, this lady's an animal. Yeah. And a total moron.

What in the F is wrong with you? You guys know what it's like when you get into GTAMO? Hey, everybody thinks of me here. I shot at this 12-year-old and then shot the 12-year-old. Tell me they're burying her under the friggin prison. I hope so. What the hell is wrong with you? Well, you have to understand there was a turf war between bottled water sale.

And then she's got an attitude about it. I mean, this is just... Oh, those poor kids. We are so effing screwed. They're up against it, that's for sure. They really got to beat that. Well, hopefully she goes away long enough for somebody can step in and help them out.

A Florida grandma didn't just take her teenage granddaughter's side in a dispute with other kids. She showed up with a pit bull and helped trap the teens inside a park bathroom. The conflict started at Palm Coast Park, where the 13-year-old allegedly tried to prove, provoke one of the victims into a fight. According to cops, the team pulled the girl's hair before they were separated.

Later that day, she went to the victim's neighborhood and attempted to reignite that confrontation, but nothing happened. The next day, Grandma, 64-year-old Allison P.s. Frankel, became involved. The grandmother said she would bring a pit bull to the park for the fight. Now we got a grandma in the mix. Her 13-year-old granddaughter also threatened to kill two of the victims. When it was time to rumble, grandma and her granddaughter met her. the five teens at the park with the pit bull. The victims ran into a bathroom and locked the door.

With the five victims inside, Grandma pushed on the restroom door with enough force to make it flex while her granddaughter kicked the door multiple times. While the victims were in the restroom, the suspect stole the cell phone, clothing, and other items which have been left on a picnic table nearby. The victims had called for help, but they were unable to leave and remain trapped until the group left the park. Sheriff Rick Staley says the grandma should have taught her granddaughter to de-escalate the situation instead of encouraging her to fight. It's not uncommon for teens to have disagreements with one another, but violence is never the

answer and can lead to lifelong consequences. Rather than de-escalate this situation, grandma chose to run back up for this teen's poor decisions, he said in a statement. Granny certainly wouldn't win the grandma of the year award. The statement continued. Parents and grandparents act like adults and teach your children and grandchildren the proper and legal way to handle disagreements by molding the correct behavior, he said. Yeah, that idea is out the window. I think that's obvious. She was taken to jail.

Her granddaughter was taken to the Department of Juvenile Justice. Juvie Hall, huh? That's right. All hope is lost. For some people, that's for sure. Well, for all of us. Forget tie-dye shirts and friendship bracelets. This summer, one New Jersey YMCA camp accidentally offered an activity not listed on the parent

consent form, an existential journey through time and space. Time and space. Police are investigating after several children at a YMCA summer camp consumed suspected mushroom-laced edibles last week. At 11 a.m. on a Thursday, the biggest threat at camp was supposed to be sunburn and poison ivy. But by 11.05 a.m., 13 preteens were staring into the abyss, hallucinating, bringing emergency responders to the scene following reports at least 13 campers were

suddenly ill. Video shows Cynthia Cunningham, racing her 12-year-old child to the hospital while her 9-year-old sister recorded the scene. Cunningham stated her daughter was among the 13 campers, handed the drug-laced chocolate

by another kid at the East Orange YMCA camp. I got there, my daughter was destroyed. Very emotional. She thought she was in trouble. When I arrived to the YMCA, it was about 13 children. They, for lack of better words, they looked like zombies.

It was really sad. Didn't take long for trouble to start. Shortly after consuming the suspected edibles, one child reported feeling sick before long 12 other campers began displaying similar troubling symptoms. In a statement addressing the incident, the YMCA explained in part, later when staff noticed campers having an adverse reaction to the substance, we immediately enacted our emergency protocols. Medical personnel arrived to evaluate the children who ranged in ages from only 10 to 13. Officials confirmed all were in stable condition,

though one child was transported to a hospital as a precaution due to a pre-existing medical condition. Police emphasized that the frightening ordeal serves as a stark reminder for parents and guardians to talk with their children about the severe dangers of consuming food, candy, or other products from unknown sources. All right, so this kid brought the dope knowing? They didn't say yet. Or did he think they were just chocolates? Yeah, could have been it. They just thought it was chocolate.

Certainly the other kids. Man, well, something's got to pick up the spirits of those campers. I always heard that summer camp was just a drag. I did a day camp or two, but never like a go-away camp. That'll pick up the spirits, wouldn't you think, Cubby, a bucket full of shrooms? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what that does to a person. Yeah, good bonding moment.

According to the Pierce County Washington Sheriff's Office, deputies responded to a dumpster fire of a domestic violence call about 1130 a. July 17th. The caller reported her 42-year-old daughter had assaulted her with a handsaw while completely naked. Wow. Naturally, the mother didn't stick around to see what other woodworking tools were in the agenda. After her daughter confiscated her phone, mom sprinted to a neighbor's house to escape the nude assault and dial 911. I wonder what it's like for a parent to see their grown child naked. Oh, I can't even imagine. Probably not great. That sounds like an absolute A nightmare. Still stark naked and completely undeterred.

The daughter then climbed into a pickup truck and attempted to run down both her mother and the neighbor who had stepped in to help. She missed the neighbor by about a nipple, but unfortunately managed to hit both her mom and the family dog before burning rubber out of there. How's that dog doing? Doing okay. Kind of pissed. Doesn't really understand it. Confused? When deputies spotted the getaway truck, she predictably refused to pull over, initiating a high-speople. birthday suit pursuit. At one point, she almost flattened an officer trying to lay down spike strips to end the show. Deputies eventually brought the chase to a halt using a pit maneuver, though the tactic went a bit sideways. In an unfortunate twist, a police vehicle ended up

colliding head-on with an innocent bystander's card during that maneuver, leaving them with minor injuries. Yeah, that cop's got to be embarrassed. That sucks. I wonder if any of our listeners can text in with a story of seeing their grown child naked and what the experience was like. Yeah, I think that'd be pretty disturbing. I mean, that and or just, you know, seeing a parent naked would be tough as well, I think, on the flip side. I imagine if you're a grown person, well, maybe I should start that over again.

If you're a parent and suddenly out of nowhere you see your grown child naked, I would imagine a lot of the stories are similar to what you just told us, Josh, where some kind of a drunken nightmare happened, you know what I mean? Or nowadays you wonder if it'd be something like they clicked on the wrong link, you know, or if they're sent a photo by accident. Oh, I mean in person. I mean in person. I mean, I have one story where a friend of mine, bad, bad, bad problems with the bottle.

And he suddenly turned up at his folks place one night because he was just destroyed, drunk, ends up at his folks place. He's 30 years old. Crawls into bed with his dad, ass naked. didn't wake up his dad. His dad didn't realize that his fully grown adult naked son was next to him until the two of them woke up in the morning. And the dad rolls over and says, you know, you got to be kidding me. So there's my buddy.

Ass naked has no idea how he got there in bed with his dad. And you know what he decided to do, Josh? He decided to show a little attitude, which is just incredible to me. His dad is tearing into him for being such a hopeless drunk. When are you going to get your act together? You've got two kids, for Christ's sake. You're showing up here middle of the night, ass naked, getting in a bed with me. It's pathetic.

My buddy decided to get up out of bed, nude, and have a face-to-face argument with his dad. No reason in his mind to back down and admit, yeah, I'm a moron. He decides to fight about it. So here's the line that my friend group thrived on for years. His dad says, their nose to nose. Remember, my pal is ass naked. His dad says to him, when the hell are you going to straighten your life out? And to be a smart ass, my buddy says, ah, maybe you.

when I hit rock bottom. Did he ever hit rock bottom? I'd love to know what that looked like. Yeah. Unfortunately, yes, he did. Oh, that's not good. No, it gets worse than that. But the idea that he wants to spring out of bed and have an argument in that situation, as opposed to, like any reasonable person, just admitting, oh, my God, I have hit a new low here.

I think even if I just woke up in my dad's bed fully clothed, like I passed out in a snowsuit, I'd think, what am I doing? Balls. I slept in my dad's bed with him. Rod, out. Rod Ball's ass, the whole thing. I said it was weird, but then I realized that my mom watched me give labor, or give birth, give labor.

That's different. That's totally different. Yeah. We're talking about just out of nowhere a door opens, and there's your... I've got to check the text machine. As of right now, there's still no word on what actually sparked that bizarre brawl, or how good the daughter looked naked. I wish I could answer that question for it.

Oh, damn. And the report didn't indicate otherwise, so it's safe to assume the woman only had one vagina, which seems like it would make news if otherwise. but for a female kangaroo, that's not the case. Science tells us female kangaroos have three vaginas, but only one pair of undergarments. You're me? Kangaroo panties.

John Travolta stars in the new crime thriller, The Gentleman Thief. John Travolta has a new movie. He does. He's been releasing a few lately. Oh, I was unaware. I thought he was just kind of hanging out. No, he's making movies. Bald.

This one is, he is very bald, now on demand. The story follows a retired master thief. pulled back into the game to steal valuable paintings only to fall into a deadly trap. This isn't unheard of, but it is a little odd. There's a limited theatrical release Friday after it's already available at home. What's the movie? The Gentleman Thief. Oh.

Be rushing out to see that one. You don't even need to. You can watch it at home first if you want. Or do both if you'd like. Shout out to Matt, aka Handy Matt. We appreciate you. keeping up with the podcast. Shout out to Michael on his retirement from the boys at Wateris.

Lucky prick. Yeah. How'd you do it, man? How did you do it? What's your secret? Happy birthday to twin boys, mom of twin boys, Jesus. Happy birthday to friend of the brotherhood, Zach Porese. And happy 40th to Big Kyle 763, Jesus.

And that's 93X News. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder. On the half-ass morning show. for the squirrel is on, and the squirrel is in the corner, and the squirrel is still alluding an entire horde of grounds crew members, and the squirrel's free once again. Hemmed in? No, I won't be hemmed in. I have freedom on my mind. Trying to go between the legs, and eventually he gets away again, and hops through the towel, and hops through another towel. I'll tell you what, she's a full house this morning. We got Randy Schaever, Bradrider,

and see Willie Miles. Morning. Good morning to everybody. So you could say we've got a world-class entertainer plus Brad and Randy. Yes. You guys all doing all right? Everyone's doing great.

Fabulous. The audio right there that Cubby put together for you, a squirrel took over the Orioles Tigers baseball game and the announcers seem to really enjoy it. I don't know how, Josh, I'm fascinated by this phenomenon because it seems to work every time. We've seen hundreds and hundreds of critters run around on ball fields at every level of every sport, yet every time it happens,

we lose our minds like we've never seen anything like it before. Yeah, they're all fun. Yeah. This one was great because they let them just sit there and watch the game for a while. Pretty good seats. Yeah, they were talking about that. They're like, you know, to win an experience like this, it would be a whole lot of money.

And this guy gets to sit right there. The squirrel just kind of hung around the third baseline for about a half inning. Yeah, he was there for a while. And finally they said, we better get this guy out of here. I can see why they enjoyed it, because I need something to take my mind out the fact that I was at an Orioles and Tigers game. Oh, wow. That was the entertainment for you? But this is a guy who watches all the World Cup soccer he can handle.

And every wrestling documentary I can get my hands on. Wow. But I'm taking pot shots at the Baltimore Orioles. You got to learn. You got to learn a lesson from Ashley's prior mistakes on this program where she yucks everyone else's yum. And then it comes back to bite her in the ass. Oh, like you guys were watching that game last night? I watched that part.

If I would have had access to the Orioles and Tigers last night, I would have gone for it. I think all baseball games need more squirrels. Well, that was a fun video. I love it when they do the... I'm a little surprised they went after the squirrel that heavily because you've seen squirrels and critters running around the field before. they just kind of let them go. Right. Most part, I think.

Maybe there's a new policy over there at Comerica Park, I don't know, where the grounds crew is in charge of some things that they never were responsible for in prior years. The squirrel, which I'm going to call Rob, Rob was able to evade about 20 adult groundskeepers out there in the outfield. It was embarrassing for the grounds crew. Of course. You can't catch a squirrel, man. No. I mean, dogs can't even catch squirrel.

That's a good point. That's why they call it then. I call those squirrel. They're squirley. Well, but there was 20 of them, for Christ's sake. I think they could have been a little more efficient, but I mean, I don't know. The squirrel was captured and then strangled. There were audible booze from the Detroit crowd when the grounds crew took the squirrel off the ball.

Of course. All right. You room for the squirrel at this point. Yeah, for sure. You always do. You always frigging do. All right. Nice to have everyone in the mix this morning for our sports report.

Brought to you by Hogbauer Automot. of course, 3th Avenue and Main Street. Tonight, let's go ahead with game one out of three between the twins and Royals right here at Target Field. Tos Bradley starts with the twins, a dude by the name of Seth Lugo for the Royals. Keep winning those series, boys. Every day I'm seeing a new article on what the twins are going to do

with the trade deadline. And I think, for me personally, I'm good not saying another word about it until it happens. You know what I'm saying? It's a new rumor every hour. Right. Right. So there you go.

Twins Royals tonight. Oh, speaking of critters, the Seattle Mariners. Currently, boy, I thought they were having a horrible season. But as we've mentioned before, the American League is just one big gang bang of mediocrity right now. For sure. Yep. Especially the American League West. Okay.

Especially in Baltimore. God, I hate those Orioles. You sure do. Cal Ripkin. kiss my ass. You overrated punk. I was more of Billy Ripkin guy. Well, he was F-face, right? He was, yeah. Right. And if you know the story, you know where we're going with that. So I was surprised to read that Seattle Mariners are currently only a game and a half out of first place in the American League West. That's actually two and a half. Oh, sorry. Something happened last night. Now it's two and a half.

Yeah. They've got a critter that's becoming their mascot. I guess. The comparison here in this article, though, isn't fair. They say much like the rally monkey became the unofficial mascot for the Los Angeles Angels in the year 2000 and helped them to the 2002 World Series. I hated that monkey. Well, but see, the rally monkey wasn't a real monkey. He was a sock monkey, right? That's right. Yeah. So I don't get the comparison here. Because the Mariners' new little rally critter is Jimothy. Jimothy. Jimothy. Am I the only one who's unaware of Jim Uffy? He became pretty viral, I guess, is the word, the last couple weeks.

Okay. Brad and Randy, Jimothy, does that do anything for you? Never heard of. I've not heard of Jimenez. You might recognize the story. Okay, Jimothy. See, Willie Miles, are you familiar? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, he's, yeah, I've seen it. He's a raccoon that apparently was originally spotted in the Seattle area. He's a raccoon with a deformed spine. And if you watch videos of Jimothy running around Seattle, yeah, he's kind of funny looking. He's got a weird gait because of his sad little deformed raccoon spine. But now he's become, like Josh was saying, not only a local celebrity in Seattle,

but a worldwide superstar, thanks to the godless internet. So Mariners players, seeing how Jimothy is, a citizen of Seattle. They started wearing his t-shirts during batting practice. And ever since they pulled the Jimothy T-shirts over the top of their big, swelled, arrogant heads, they're doing nothing but winning ballgame. So this is how Jimothy has become their... That's pretty funny.

Yeah. What we've learned this morning is that we are trying to capture squirrels, but we're letting rabid, deformed raccoons run around the same. city and glorifying them. That's right. Just for the hope that your baseball team can win. Does that seem unfair to you, Brad? Whatever it takes a little odd, that's all. We should be killing, Jimothy, as opposed to letting him run wild in the streets?

Yes. Okay, we should gas Jimothy. I don't think he's deformed at all. I think Jimithy's mom wound up at a zoo and pushed up on a monkey. That's what you look at it. It looks like half monkey, half. raccoon. So that's what I'm thinking.

You think that Jimithy is a moncoon? That's what I'm saying. Half monkey, half raccoon. You look at that spine and his way his legs are on the bottom. Yeah, you know, that's just a theory. Okay. It's a working theory. I mean, you've seen some things.

I've seen some things. I've seen some things. I'll take your word. Yeah, you know. Crossbreeding is getting crazy. Yeah. You just can't push up on anything. You've lived in St. Claude for a number of years.

Word. Word. Crossbreeding, yes. I've seen some things, bro. So if the mariners continue to be successful, expect to see more of Jimothy everywhere's. I thought it was kind of mean, Josh, but I don't know the rules anymore. I thought it was kind of mean in the article where they referred to Jimothy as a mutant raccoon. They call him a mutant.

Totally not fair. But they say he does look mutated. They say he has truly become a cultural phenomenon. So there you go. I like the rally monkey. I did. And that was even when the twins, I mean, the twins even faced the Angels in the American League championship series. That's why I hate the rally monkey.

In other circumstances, I would have gotten bored with it. I totally get it. I wanted to hate the rally monkey because that was the team that was getting in the way of the twins and certain World Series glory. And in the end, the angels with that David Eckstein and all those little sissies they had on that team. But still, when I saw them. more of the rally monkey, that stupid sock monkey up on the big screen? I thought it was very unique and very funny. I liked

it a lot. Yeah, it was fun. I was just pissed. No, I get it. When did the twins have the rally squirrel? See, I don't know, Josh, because every team has had the rally squirrel, the rally raccoon. It's become such a stupid overdone gimmick now. I can't remember. The rally sausage?

I like the sausage. The sausage was cool. That was gross. As far as critters go, every team has said, hey, have you seen the rally praying mantis is everything. Like, no, I don't care. You've played it out. Everybody's a lick of hope.

Yeah, but if you can find that knowledge or that information, Josh, I guess... 2019, the Twins Rally Squirrel. The Rally sausage was where it's at. So gross. But that's what made it so much fun. That was so unique, original, fun. That was the origin of an outbreak of some sort. That was disgusting.

Tapping your bat on the just melting sausage. What a funny idea, though. Yeah, there you effing go. What else is going on? I don't know what this means. And I always wish bad things on the New York Yankees, but I'm going to go ahead anyway. It says here the Yankees are giving away 18,000

George Costanza Calzone bobbleheads in August. Does anyone know? What is that you're reading over there? That looks pretty tasty. It's a Calzone, sir. Calzone, huh? Yeah, let's hear. Pass that on down.

Let's get a little look at that. Bixstein wants a little taste. Come on, come on, press it down there. That's a good boy. Okay, let's say, hey, what's in this thing? Cheese, pepperoni, eggplant? Eggplant, huh? That's a hell of a thing.

All right. Okay, this was a gimmick from the Seinfeld television show in 19 and 96, they tell me. That's right. New Yorkers love that whole Seinfeld. Oh, yeah, it seems like every year they do something related to Seinfeld. So, so some of you are familiar with the bit. Yes. Oh, yeah.

So what's it say here? A game in late August. They're going to give away 18,000 of these. George Costanza Calzone bobbleheads. You can see it on 93X.com. There you go. Thank you. Up on our website, the little George character holding this Calzone in his hand.

They're saying that, you know, bobblehead dolls, certain bobblehead dolls these days can right away go. go for insane amounts of money on eBay and whatnot. They're saying right now this Calzone bobblehead is someone will give you 150 bucks for it right away. I lived out there. I'd go stand in line for that. You would. Yeah, I'm a big Seinfeld.

You loved Seinfeld. It's a pretty good bobblehead. What's that? It's a good bobblehead. You like it? Yeah. Well, you guys know that I only ever watched five minutes of Seinfeld. That's five minutes more than I did.

Yeah. So the episode back in 96, it says here, the character George was working for the Yankees and he gets the boss at the time. George Steinbrenner hooked on this calzone. And every day Steinbrenner asks George Costanza to go get him this calzone. That was the basis of the episode. And that's interesting for me personally because the only five minutes I ever watched of Seinfeld. It was an episode where George Steinbrenner was having, not the real George Steinbrenner, they had an actor.

Larry David. Yeah. Okay. George Steinbrenner was having a conversation with George Costanza's dad played by Jerry Stiller. Yes. You would have thought that I would have continued watching Seinfeld because I really enjoyed what I saw. All I saw was the back of George Steinbrenner and you see Jerry Stiller, George Costanza's dad, sitting in a chair. And all Costanza's dad says is this.

He says, how in the world do you trade Jay Buehner? And then I turned it off. Steinbrenner had come to their house because George supposedly had died in an accent. He didn't. But that's why Steinbrenner was coming to the house was to tell George's mom and dad that he had died. And that was the first thing George's dad said after he told him he had died. Now while we're on the subject of Bobbo Head dolls, this brings me to our bro-st-out cancer event Friday, where we're all going to be at the Wise at American Legion.

We're going to enjoy the delicious broasted chicken dinner. We got a silent auction and a 50-50 raffle. We're about spent on tickets, but we'll give you one last chance here. Go to 93x.com. Go to our calendar. Go to station events and try to get yourself a ticket. We'll be there Friday night. A few of our listeners have been very generous with silent auction items.

And one of them, a listener just yesterday donated a pile of bobblehead dolls. Twins bobblehead dolls. Dana, yeah, you might want to spend some friggin, you might want to bring some cash. Now, the most unique collection, this is really cool. I didn't know this was a thing. A listener has donated a series of bobbleheads that were given away or sold by the twins, I'm not sure, years ago. It's the bobblehead of every single twins manager from day one through Ron Gardenhire. Oh, cool.

That's awesome. Twelve different characters, all 12 managers from day one to Ron Gardenhire. I thought that was a really original item. That's a cool set. Thank you to Nicole is the one who donated those Bobble. heads. Malacca Meets, Willow Tree Winery, Burns Bottle Shop, in Now Then. You guys even know where that is? Now Then, Minnesota?

Yeah. Yeah, you've been there? Everybody been there? Now then? I think I've driven through there. Yeah, I've heard of it. Stop, but certainly driven through. I used to summer there. Really? Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Now and then. Yeah. Here and there. My wife's ready to shut down ticket sales, so if you want to get in, you better do it now. Oh, Lord. She's running that operation, Josh, and boy, are you in trouble?

What did I do? I'm already in trouble? Well, we were sorting out everyone's responsibilities, and we kind of forgot about you as we were filling out the roster. So you're on trash duty. I don't mind. I'll do whatever it takes. Taking out the garbage. All right.

Pretty good cause. So there you go. Yeah, of course, every dime benefits. Randy Shaver's Cancer Research Fund. We're all looking forward to Friday. All right. Isn't this something? Once in a while, according to Andy Reid, this happens.

Yeah. Kansas City Chiefs offensive coordinator, Eric B. Enemy's son has been arrested for shooting his own mother. Damn, that's cold. She's a saint. We all know that, the people that know her. But things happen, you know, things happen, and you just, you got to work through it,

but it'll all work out long. We all love EB. and seeing these kind of things happen. But there's always a blessing in there somewhere. Eric will work through it. He's got a great support group here as it as a family. And then we'll just let time take care of it from there. You know what, Cubby?

I've been looking everywhere for that blessing, and I can't seem to find it. Me neither. Outside of her surviving. That's it. That's the blessing right there. Unbelievable. How awful.

Elijah B. Enemy, Eric's son, who's 27 years old, shot his mother. He was my neighbor for a while when I lived over in a while. Wilds. Eric Biena. I think he has his son. I think he has cerebral palsy and he has a breathing problem. Okay.

Oh, okay. What is the Wilds? What is that? The golf course. Prior Lake. Prior Lake. We lived on the wild. It's the golf course called the Wilds was the Wilds community.

Eric Bienerbynamy worked for the Vikings for a stretch of time. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That just dawned on me. I'd forgotten all about that. Yeah. When AP was here.

Pardon me? When AP was. When AP was here, I think. Right, he was a running back coach. I had totally forgotten about that until this very moment. I always love the nickname Public Bienemy number one. Sure. Chris Berman.

Eric Biennami's wife, Mia, is in stable condition at a hospital. This is just brutal. I mean, what the hell else can happen? But Josh and I kind of found it interesting what Andy Reid was saying. Right. He kind of sounded like he was trying to paint a flowery image. on this. I think part of it is Andy Reid has also had some

with his family. Like with his sons, like big time issues. Oh, yeah, they're both good examples of the good, the bad, and the ugly that can come with fame and money. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So I suppose maybe if you look at Andy Reid's family,

maybe to him, this is not the worst thing he's ever seen in his life. Yeah. I mean, Andy Reid had a kid die of a heroin overdose. Another one of his kids was involved in a terrible DWI car accident that severely injured a little girl. I mean, man, we want to talk about the dark side of sports. Holy bulls. So, there you effing go. Yeah, it would be interesting to find out why his son did that.

What happened? Because I know he had some, you know, back in the day, you know, he was young. You know, this was like 2003, you know. Man. And his son was young, and I know he had some really serious issues. I can't even fathom such a thing. No kidding. Jesus, crime.

All right. There's some great news right there for you. In lighter Eric B. Endemy's stories, I was in Boulder one time because he was an alumni from there, and there was a charity event at a bar, and he's one of the celebrity bartenders. and man, he was so much fun. Just hyping up the crowd, having a blast. I really enjoyed myself that day. He comes across that way.

He made some pretty heavy pores that day, Josh, as a celebrity bartender. Hey, that's what you want, right? Exactly. We raised some money. We did some good that day. To shoot your own mother. Right, that is cold-blooded, man. I wouldn't even stare down on my mom.

From the stories you tell. Does she have the mom look? My mom had the mom look and the statue. My mom was not, yeah, she's not somebody you want to stare down, man, because she didn't blink. From the stories you tell, if you ever shot your mother, you better pray you killed her, right? Oh, you couldn't, you couldn't kill her. You couldn't kill her and then shoot yourself. That's what you would do.

That would be the best way out. She clipped her hand and stopped the bullet. Honest to God, I believe that's what happened. But mom was that much of a, oh my God, she was a superstar. Now, this was just poor timing. And I'm not trying to use this next conversation to poke fun at what's happening with Eric B. Enemy and his son and his wife. It just so happened that Bro Bible coughed up an article on the 13 sons of pro athletes who turned out to be even better than their dad.

They turned out to be even better than they dads after following in their voot-steps. Now you guys have to say, huh? Uh-huh? Vood-steps, voot-steps. I mean, we could sit here and talk on and on about great father-son athlete combos, like Brett and Bobby Hall and Dale Jr.

and Dale Sr. Earnhardt and this and that. These are specifically the sons who turned out to be better than the old man. What do they say here? Says, yeah, there is some crossover here with a list of, say, the most accomplished father-son duos of all time. But the article said they wanted to focus on the offspring who managed to outdo their dads when everything was said and done. Okay, fair enough. Sure. I've got a big time recent one. I'm sure he's on the list.

Well, give it to us, Brad Ryder. Jalen Brunson. Oh, for sure. Remember that funny joke he made after they won the NBA final final? Yeah, that was great. It was Henry Lernhoffer. What the hell is the guy who he hosts the NBA show? Ernie Johnson.

Ernie Johnson has a mic in Jalen Brunson's face. and he said something like, can you name the last Nick's guard who, whatever, scored 35 points in a playoff game or something? And Jalen Brunson said, what the hell is the old man's name again? Rick.

Jalen Brunson said, well, my first guest was going to be Rick Brunson, but then I knew that would be ridiculous. All right. No, Brony is not on the list, everybody. Everyone's texting again saying, this list sucks. Bronny. Crumple it up.

Give me a break. No, I know you're joking. But these are sons who outdid their dads. There's got to be some Minnesota connections here, too. Well, let me just throw it at you. They start with Kobe Bryant. I can think of a couple of Minnesota connections. I'm sure you can.

They start with Kobe Bryant. Yep. His dad. Jelly Bean. Jelly bean was a solid pro, but of course Kobe was. Way better. All-timer. Yep.

Steph Curry. Yep. Although Dell was nothing to sneeze at. No, Dell was good. Mm-hmm. But staff is better. And here's a Minnesota connection, and I do not agree

with it. Clay Thompson did not outdo his father. He just didn't. Maybe not on the college level, but on the pro level, I would say, yeah. See, Clay Thompson was a specialty player. I don't know, Brad.

I think that's kind of. of a draw. For me, I think it's a draw. I'll go I'll say that's fair, Randy Schaber. We'll call it a draw. Michael Thompson was a friggin' monster. Beast. And that's a Minnesota connection. Michael Thompson played for the govers. I'm not going to go ahead and say that Clay

was better. I'll call it at best a draw. I agree with that. I think it's a draw. Yep. Here's Jalen Brunson. Ken Griffey Jr. For sure. Definitely. But his dad was a good player. Sure he was. Sure he was. Yep.

Dana's newfound hatred for the Baltimore Orioles Oh, Cal Ripkin. We'll probably keep you from saying anything on this. But Cal Ripkin, Jr. Yeah. Roberto Alamar and Sandy Alamore Jr. Yeah, but you know, Sandy was a good player. He was.

Didn't end up in Cooperstown, but good player. Barry Bonds. Yeah, Bobby Bonds was such a great player, though. God, I loved Bobby Bonds. bonds growing up. Oh, my God. He was a third. Fantastic player.

Was Prince Fielder really better than Cecil? Prince Fielder's on the list. He had a good couple of years. I think that's a draw. Let's call that a draw. That's a draw too. Yeah, I don't think so.

Okay. I'm good with that. We can call that a draw. Here's a weird one. D.K. Metcalf. Oh, what? Oh, yeah. Terrence McHath.

Yeah, Terry McHath. His dad was a guard. You know, played a few years in the NFL. D.K. is, of course, this terrific wide receiver, unbelievable athlete type of. Although he can't swing a bat. We learned that a couple years ago, didn't we? D.K. Metcalf just looks like one of the strongest most athletic people in the world. He went to a charity softball game a few years ago.

They handed him a bat. He couldn't come near the ball if you gave him a billion dollars. That is funny when he sees somebody, a professional athlete tried to do a different sports. that they're not used to. I love that. He looked like a four-year-old trying to hit a slow-pitched softball. One of our football coaches, one of the best athletes ever seen, a national champion wrestler, great football player.

I saw him shoot a basketball once in the gym, and I just started laughing my ass off because he was just so uncoordinated with it. The guy could whip all of our asses in one room, you know, in wrestling or whatever. Yeah. Fantastic athlete, but he's shooting a basketball like he had never seen a human attempt to do that before. It's brutal. It is. Okay, we're talking about sons of pro athletes who turned out to be even better than the old man.

Peyton and Eli Manning. Yeah, another Minnesota connection. Sure. That connection being that Archie spent some time with the Vikings? Yeah, the kids grew up here, yeah. Right, I forgot they lived here for a couple years. A couple years. Christian McCaffery.

His dad was good, though. Yeah. His dad was good. Ed was good. I think his dad won a couple of super. Super Bowl. Sure he did. Yeah.

Sure he did. And then the last name on the list, I'm very happy to see. Yeah, this is a good one. Very happy to see Zach Parisi. Yeah. It's 42nd birthday today. Oh, that's right. You've mentioned that a couple times.

Happy birthday, Zachie. No way he's 42. My God. Of course, JP was the old man. He was my neighbor, too. JP was a good player. Yes, he was. He was a good player.

There were two old, there were three old North Star. that my dad raved about when I was a kid. Gump Warsley, Lou Nanny. Well, I should say four. Gump Warsley, Lou Nanny, Bill Goldsworthy, and J.P. Perisi. My dad loved watching those guys play. Yeah.

And here's something that JP had that at least Zach never showed on the ice. J.P. was totally insane. He was so frightening look. and willing to mix it up at all turns again for the millionth time you're going to say Christ Almighty he's going to bring up the 72 Summit series again yes the documentary on the 72 summit series J.P. Perisi came a fraction of an inch away from killing a referee on the ice. He said you know what I'm just going to kill this guy. Did we miss anybody that you thought of? You know I was thinking of Moises Salu.

because the Alloo, you know, the Alloo family, the Alloo brothers. His dad was Felipe Allu. Yeah. I thought for sure that would be one of them. Also, is it one of the Matthews? His dad was a football. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

But Clay Matthews. But Clay Matthews. Yes, we've got the Matthews mixed up. Bruce Matthews was a big offensive lineman played for the Houston Oilers. Clay Matthews was a linebacker for the Cleveland Browns, the majority of his career. And then his son played for the package. Yes. Yes. So they're basically saying that the Matthews kid that played for Green Bay was not better than his old man. And I would agree with that. Clay Matthews, when he was a linebacker for the Browns, that dude was

terrible. Yeah. That's unstoppable. Bruce Matthews was the big offensive lineman. He was also like a perennial pro bowler. I don't know if he had any. Here's another one I thought of. I guess they're saying that Howie Long was better than his kid, which I would agree with. Yeah. I would say so. Oh. I think Bobby and Brett Hall would probably be. a draw. I know Brett scored far more points, but Bobby Hall was a generational player. It's a legend. Yes. So it's tough to

kind of compare the careers in a lot of cases. They were completely different players like Clay Thompson and Michael Thompson. Yeah. But who else did I have in mind? There's some wrestlers that could be on that list. I didn't even, the article didn't consider television wrestlers. Who do you got? I'd say Randy

Orden or Coboy Bob Orden. Yeah. I can't go Dusty Roads or I can't go Cody better than Dusty. God no. Much different. Very, very different. Very, very different.

And you're forgetting about Dustin also. Oh, of course. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Oh, the father-son list in wrestling is huge. Guerrero's and, I mean, my God, there's Gagnas. Gagnas, hundreds of them. All my twins fans apologists know that are texting me, no, Cody Clemens is not on that list.

Right. Right. Well, what, here's the deal, Brad Rider. Could the old man hit? I bet not. There you go. Who's got a better career batting? The door is wide open for a shot there, but I didn't take it.

Well, go ahead with the shot. Where are you going to go with that? No, I, no. Cody can hit a few home runs, but he's had a nice year. We all can admit. We all can admit this. Of course, Roger Clemens is an all-timer, for Christ's sake. But we all can admit, Cody Clemens is probably one of the most pleasant,

surprises in twins history. Definitely. For sure. Absolutely. We got people texting in on fathers and sons a cane and Paul Bearer. Oh,

Undertaker this Sunday at WrestleMania you will feel. It's my Paul Bearer imitation. What are people saying here? Oh yeah, Brett Hart, Stu Hart,

well, I don't know, Stu Hart with it. Ooh, how about the Kachuk boys? They're not better than their old man, no way. No. Not yet. The Kichok boys are not better than Keith. No way.

A linebacker by the name of Jamal Adams has been hired by the Vikings. He's a 10-year veteran of the NFL, supposedly. Used to play safety. Now he plays linebacker. He can play either position, this, that. He worked for the Raiders last season. They say he excels at blitzing the quarterback. This is exciting?

I think it is. Yeah. Okay. I'm not familiar with the guy. He's got a connection with the new Vikings general manager, Nolan Teesley, who came over from the Seahawks, because Jamal Adams was traded to Seattle from the Jets back in 2020. So there's a connection there. You know, very solid player. Obviously, if you're a pro bowler, you've three-time pro bowler, you've been doing some things right.

So you throw him in the mix with Flores and the way that he moves people around. And they're still waiting on final words. of Harrison Smith because we haven't heard anything definitively that he's retiring yet. And I think camp opens on Saturday, if I'm not mistaken. Friggin' camp. They had Adams, I think that certainly helps their defense. Here's a listener who wants to know. What about the Felinos?

Sorry, back to fathers and sons. Mike Falino was a hell of a good player for a long time. That's a tough one. Well, wait, but if you factor in empty net goals. Oh, God. Mike refused to score empty net goals where his sons are totally cool with it, obviously. Exactly. Exactly. Mike Folino never scored an empty net goal. I promise you that.

I promise you that he dumped the friggin' puck in like God intended. Next time we have Marcus on, we'll have to ask him how he feels about that. Yeah, people are texting in about the balls. Well, LeVar was never a player, you know. Yeah. LeVar never made it out of college from what I know. I know where you're going with that. But the filinos, I mean, Mike was tough.

Mike was a good player. Pete and Dick Weber were talking bowling now. I got no problem talking bowling. What was the line again? Do you know who you are? I am. What the hell was that line? Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are? I am. Settle down. Pete. Where there's frigging glasses. Ooh, the force family, the daughters. You know, John had daughters who drove. I was going to ask him racing how many of those there'd be.

Well, I mean, oh, lots of, there's a lot of family in racing. No, I mean, how many you could fit into this conversation where the child is better than. Boy, I don't know. Brandon Bernstein, Kenny Bernstein, the forces, the pedrigons, you could go on. And then you, I'm just talking about NHRA. You talk about auto racing, the bakers and the Earnhardt's and the Allison and the petties and the... It really is a family affair when...

Yeah, racing. Who am I missing, too? Andretti's... There was a real standout one that I'm missing. Oh, Waltrip's. Mm-hmm. Jesus. All right.

Oh, and I never asked you, see, Willie Miles. Again, how many kids did you make again? Two. How many sons? One. Is he better than you at anything? No. Not one thing?

No, one thing. There's nothing. that he can do better than you? No. I love your style. I do. Absolutely nothing. We had dance off. We've had joke-offs. Even a dance-off? I'd like to see a father and son dance-off between C. Willie and Little C. Miles. He had nothing. His problem was his father grew up with nine sisters. So I learned everything I needed to learn before I left the house. He just had one sister and she was younger.

All right. Yeah, my son, to this day, who says that? What's the boxer? Who says that? To the day? To this day. I'm not sure. He's the knockout guy.

Knockout guy, boxing. You have to give us a little more information. He's got a very shallow chin, but he knocks you out. But if you hit it, you hit him, he'll just go down like a feather. Is he dead? No, no. He's just boxing to the chest. I don't know boxing today.

God dang it. How come I can't say his name? I just like how you're taking a stand and you're not budging at all. Oh, no. That your son can do nothing better than his dad. I dig that because so many parents coddle their kids. I like that you're saying, F, that kid. My dad would probably say the same thing, that there's nothing that any of his kids can do better than you did.

Oh, really? Josh, how old is your boy? My son's 43? Oh, my God. He's old enough to be better than you would. No, he's not better. He's better than me. But he's not. He's not. He did anything. Period. I believe you. I believe you. And again, I love.

So if you played, like, basketball one-on-one, pickleball one-on-one, nothing, you can't beat you. Trash him. I trash him. The only thing he could do at this point right now is outrun me. Okay. So he's got one thing. Yeah, that eventually. But I'm not going to race him. There's nothing you can do about that, though. Come on. Yeah. That's just, that's just, you know, lack of, you know, hamstrings. Oh, sorry. I got excited. I got excited. I got excited. I got a excited. Daryl and Michael

Waltrip are brothers. I always think that Daryl is the dad because Daryl looks so much older than my NASCAR fans are picking on me. Wilder, who's the name I was looking for? Dante Wilder. You just slap him, I think, and he falls down. But he'll hit you with that hammer. I hear you.

I'll have to check him out. I like that you are the way you are. Okay. What else is going on? Everson Griffin wants to play in the NFL again. Can we, can someone help this guy? Yeah, I know. How about this?

This past Sunday, the suburb of Robbins, Illinois, honored, retired NBA basketball player Dwayne Wade. They upped and named a street after the effing guy. In Robbins, Illinois, there's now a Dwayne Wade Boulevard. It used to be Claire Boulevard. I don't know how Claire is. feeling about this. Yeah. Claire.

I'm not sure. What she did to get her name off that scree. They had a big party in town. They had kegs of beer and food trucks

and Dwayne Wade was there and they changed the name of the street from Claire Boulevard to Dwayne Wayne Boulevard apparently when he got a little older like into high school he lived in this neighborhood.

And of course he went on to wonderful things. I've won championships. I've experienced moments that I could never dream of but standing here today being here, seeing familiar faces, being on the same street that I ran up and down. It just feels different.

I like that guy. I bet it does. Says here he grew up when he was real young. He lived on the south side in a neighborhood called Washington Park. Ooh, that's how sad. And then they moved to Robbins when he got a little older. I wonder I'd have to look this up if Washington Park on the south side is anywhere near Harvey, Illinois. Illinois. One of my oldest pals grew up in Harvey, Illinois. And he had some good stories. He had some good stories about growing up on the south side of Chicago.

Hey, I did a show down in Harvey, Illinois and a comedy club. Me and this other comedian. And when I tell you, we left right after the show. Like when we walked off stage, and dudes like, you guys are going to stick around to the manage to get paid. Now I send him just check. Yeah. That's the first time I think I ever trusted someone to send me a check. Just get me the hell out of here. Yeah, we're... The cars are already running.

We were ready to go. My buddy who grew up in... No, the car's not running because it wouldn't have been. Oh, yeah. Oh, true. That's a good story. Two story. My buddy who grew up in Harvey, I've told a lot of stories about him on the air.

He might have been the guy that got a D-dub on a set of railroad tracks. But anyway, he grew up in Harvey. and he had a great story. He said the neighborhood wasn't all that cute at times. And my favorite story is he woke up for school, ninth grade, and he had the same routine every day. He'd pull his Motley Crew T-shirt on and his extremely tight pair of jeans

and his big fat Nike high tops, right? It's 1986, 87. And every morning he'd walk out to the living room and grab the remote and watch a little television before he, caught the bus and he sat down he tied his shoes and he hit that frigging remote he's like what the son of a bitch that tv won't turn on he looks up tv's gone front door torn right off its mornings someone had come in the middle of the night took the tv hey all i can say about

harvey if you you want some of the best soul food in the world go to harvey illinois my friend i've driven past it once we were going that way yeah good food good food great soul food man My God. How about Detroitlet? What do you think about Detroit to see Willie Miles? Been there many times, I would imagine. Been there many times. Been to the Motor City many times, man.

That's another place I could just get good food because most of the people in Detroit from south. Yeah. A new bridge over the Detroit River that connects to United States and Canada open to traffic yesterday. And they're calling it the Gordy Howl Bridge. And Josh has already made an on-air challenge to when he want to be tough guys from Canada. Meet him there next 4th of July. Show up. You said, show up, but make sure you got someone to drive you home because you'll be sound asleep, Josh.

He's going to meet halfway across the bridge. Josh doesn't like this easy access from Canada, Indy the night. No, no, no, no. It's too much. So he says, meet me there next 4th of July. You tough guy, Canucks. But get a ride home because you'll be in no shape to drive. Get you a designated driver.

But they say here, you know, it's going to make everything easy. and nice and this and that, this and that, this bridge that goes from the deep, over the deep der Cone at the Gordy Howl Bridge. Of course, Gordy spent a lot of his career in Detroitlet. It drove through Detroit yesterday at my way to the airport because I was in Michigan, like I talked about yesterday, and there was a lot of traffic backed up on that bridge already. Oh, yeah?

You can see it. Well, it was the grand opening. Yeah. Yep. I love a good bridge grand opening. Oh, man. Bring the whole family. It's going to be great.

And wouldn't they playing like a little hockey out there before it opened up? Did they play some hockey? Yeah, I think they played hockey on the bridge before it opened up. A little street hockey out there. A couple of Gordy Howe hat tricks were putting to the record books. All right, before you go, do you want to hear a good pant wedding? We got some Irish football. Is this rugby?

What is this? What were they playing? They called it football. It looked like rugby. They threw the ball into the goal. you see what I'm saying? Well, football is called soccer over there, but in this case, in the video,

they were running with a white ball and they threw it through a set of goals. So whatever it is, some kind of Irish football, here are the announcers. They're very excited. 30 seconds to go on. We're 45 yards in the dirty going. He's got Tommy Gunman.

Tommy Conrad is in for a goal. Yeah! Yeah! Tommy Comrade! Oh my God! Oh, my God. Five seconds to go. The famine is over

Hit the next rear button Oh my God It can't be that serious Now it might not mean Dick Tracy to you But they're comparing this To when the Red Sox Finally won the World Series

A number of years ago And broke the curse of the Bambino This is some kind of Irish football I don't know what it is but this club won the Irish Silly Football Championship for the first time in 75 years. And obviously they were pumped. And the announcers came completely unglued as you, as you heard.

What did the guy say? It's hard because they're screaming all over each other. But this line, I like this one, he said, hit the nuclear button. The club is called Mayo. He said, hit the nuclear button. Mayo has won the All-Ireland. So this club had not won a title in 75 years, and it had lost in the final final,

get ready, Vikings fans, to be humbled. This effing club hadn't won a title in 75 years and had lost in the championship game 11 times since 1989. Oh, my God. I would have kept up so much. way before that, way before that. You can take your little four Super Bowl losses and stuff them up your ass, okay? You lost nothing.

So here's the story of the curse, right? There were supposedly, you know, all these dumb curses. So they said it was similar to the curse of the Bambino that the Red Sox endured for 100 years and all that nonsense. According to this here legend, this Mayo Club, the last time they won the silly Irish football championship, was in 19 and 51. And the story was that that club was partying their balls off

till all hours of the night and into the next day. And they're running wild in the streets drinking and making out with red-haired gals. And during this celebration, a funeral procession passed by. And the boys in their drinking and dangling with redheads, they didn't even show the proper respect

as the funeral procession went by. They just kept drinking and playing with women. And a priest who was in the funeral possession turned to them and said, I curse you. Oh, the original Danhausen. Yeah. He cursed the team in 51,

but now that curse has been broken. He must have lifted it. Lifted the curse. Yes, he felt bad. I'm sure he's been dead for decades. But yeah, the curse has been, there you go. There you effing. Maybe one day we'll get to hear our local announcers go crazy like that.

I doubt it. I don't think, I won't see it. Well, if the twins trade for Terrick Scoobel with the trading deadline. You never know. I was specifically talking about football, but, yes, the twins. We're going to trade for scubal. That'd be great. I still give the twins a chance and the pigs and the Timberwolves.

I guess I was just thinking about the local football team. Sure, sure. Are they going to trade for scuba? Oh, good. Wouldn't that be something? It would be awesome. All right, boys, there you go. Thanks, Brad.

Thanks, Randy. You go off and do whatever you feel. See, Willie Miles is going to stick around, and we'll be back with more garbage nonsense on the Half-Ass Morning Show. 903 6. Air conditioning, the love of my life.

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You are a master at the little things. That's how you turn good into great. What does it take to achieve greatness? Whatever it takes I'm willing to do. That's an Emmy winning performance. How about it? Insight with Chris Van Fleet. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

Half-assed morning show. 93X. Yeah, we're officially checked in here at 833, and we're happy as hell to have C Willie Miles up in here on the Tuesday show. A man who just told us off air spent yesterday golfing. You're brave. No, thank you. You are the greatest athlete I've ever known.

That was awful, yes. I can't imagine being out if you didn't have to. I almost like cried just walking in the mailbox. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I came close to crying a couple times. Yeah. How many T-shirts did you go through?

I went through three golf shirts. Three golf shirts, two hats. My dad golfed yesterday, he's in his 70s. That's not good. I know. And I was talking to my mom on the way home, and she goes, yeah, your dad went golfing. I can't believe he did it.

You know, it's so stupid. And I thought, wow, today's the day that my mom is finally going to kick my dad's ass. She would have taken with the dehydration. Seriously. I think it would have been a pretty even matchup. What is he, nuts? I know. No, they did us really well.

It was a lot of water stations and then there was, we had ice towels. Not enough. Man, if you've never had an ice towel on your neck, man, that will put it on your head. Oh, I'm sure. It is nice, but it lasts for like a minute. I'm sure it offered some temporarily. It did. I would not.

not be caught in that situation. No way, no how. Actually, you're right. It's like that chewing gum you had when a kid where the flavor lasts for about eight seconds. And you're like, well, this sucks now. Yours was a charity event? Yes. And Dana, your dad just wanted to get away from your mom. Him and his fellow retired college buddies.

They golf three or four days a week. Right. Well, I'm glad you made it, C. Willie Miles. I really am. Hey, trust me, I didn't get out of my car a whole lot. I mean, I had a good for some, and I was just a celebrity for them, and they carried the weight, man. I just showed up when they needed me.

Can't imagine. You know. All right. What the hell are we talking about earlier? Oh, yeah. We were talking about the latest Internet sensation. And that latest sensation is Jimothy the mutant raccoon. Love him.

He's everywhere, if you haven't spotted him yet. Is he up on our website? 93X.com. He's so creepy. He's a little three-legged raccoon or something or they say he's got a broken spine and he runs around the streets of Seattle and everyone loves Jimothy, the mutant.

How about we go back a bit and we run down some of the past characters who at one point or another had their moment as the big effing thing going on the evil and wildly misinformed internet. I don't know for sure if there are any more mutated animals on the list. We'll see about that. I've personally never been the type to take too deep of an interest in characters like this,

but I've been scanning the list and a few of them are familiar. Let's start with all these folks have their little moment online. And then God knows what they're up to these days. They start with Alex from Target. and it says here a single photo of him working at Target went viral making him an overnight teen heartthrob

for a couple of weeks. Anyone familiar with Alex from Target? Yeah, he was on Allen. He was a little bit like Justin Bieber. He was what? I'm sorry? He was on Ellen. On Ellen. Oh.

So what happened? Women, girls went crazy. He never got his own sitcom or anything. Anyone know what happened to Alex from Target? I don't know what happened to him. He kind of just fell off the face of the earth. Did you think he was gorgeous? He just looked like every other regular dude, I think.

He looked like every other regular dude. Yeah, I mean, it wasn't like that. I didn't think it was that crazy. How did teenagers go crazy if he looked like every other regular dude? In my opinion, he did. Like, I don't, I mean, he was just like whatever. He wasn't your style. He was, I mean, he had said that, you know, he was getting marriage proposals constantly.

women of all ages for reaching out to him. He was a grown man? No, he was a high school student in 2014 when this went viral. All right. Next on the list is one of my all-time favorite characters. I would love to meet this guy someday and just tell him thank you for the laughs. Antoine Dodson. Obviously, we have a rapist in Lincoln Park.

He's climbing in your windows. He's snatching your people up trying to rape him so y'all need to. So how'd your kids, hide your wife, and had your hugs because they're raping anybody out here. And one of the things

that was so great... Everybody. One of the things that was so great about that is it was real. It wasn't like the ones that were, oh, I'm going to go viral on the news.

That's just how he was. That is a wonderful point, Josh. And I think, unfortunately, he was so good that so many other regular schmucks who have no delivery and no sense of humor

and they don't have a unique personality like Antoine. So many folks wanted to be him that suddenly the television news became this ridiculous audition for comedy roles. He was just himself. And no one will ever do it like he did.

No. Antoine was out here trying to save lives. Yeah, they're raping everybody. He and his sister were so funny together in that friggin' news clip. I cannot and I refuse to get enough of Antoine Dodson. He had some kind of extreme ideas

as to what was going on. I'll tell you what, he sure presented it in a fun way. I just looked him up. He's on cameo. Don't way. No, no. See, you know, here's the thing. I had heard since he did us all a favor with this news clip years ago about how

there was someone raping everybody in Lincoln Park, your husband's, your wife. I heard maybe he had a record contract that maybe he had an album or two. Yeah, it looks like he has some YouTube music videos. And then I heard maybe he became a religious man. These are just rumors

that I heard. Good for him. Good for you, Antoine, and thank you again. You're one of the good guys. You're they hide your children. People still talk about that. And your husband. Yeah, exactly. That's just like, I'll say that every now and then.

Like, I don't know, maybe like once every two months or so. It'll like slip into a conversation. And you know his sister, you know, early in the news clip, his sister, the one who was attacked. Right. Talk about a brave gal. She stepped right up to the camera and said, there's an idiot in Lincoln Park who, who's, you know, she stood right up and said, I can't remember her exact quote,

but she basically made it clear that if she sees this some bitch, she's going to tear his prick off. So both of them deserve, okay. Rebecca Black is our next internet sensation. The name rings a bell. It says here she sang a song called Friday. That's bad. And if I remember right, she got a lot of crap.

Well, you know, the song's not great. But because her folks had a lot of money, this is what I had heard. And they paid a producer. or, hey, make a song for my daughter, make a video, and let's make her famous. Okay. Did she go on and do a tour? I don't know if she toured.

She had another song that came out afterwards. She had a couple of records. And I think she got kind of, you know, she got well known for being pretty bad. The song was annoying, but like, I mean, I don't understand the backlash. Like, if I was rich, I'd pay for my kid to do whatever. I watched a video about her yesterday when we were talking about maybe bringing this up because I wanted to know the full story. And what happened was she thought she was just making a video for fun.

you know, her parents did pay that producer and everything to make a video and she goes, oh, my friends will get a kick of it, it'll be funny. And then Daniel Tosh was the one that started in. He posted something about it and then that's where her life just got completely ruined. So maybe she didn't necessarily

want this to become national. And then to the point where she was getting cyber bullied, they swatted her school, people posted on Reddit where her entire class schedule, what time she gets to school, what time she leaves, all this stuff. Like, she had to leave high school for a few years

because of all the bullying she was getting nationwide. I know she's getting all kinds of crap. That's the drawback of becoming famous on the internet. There's 10 billion lunatics who want to see nothing but bad things happen to you because they're jealous. Dude, she's so cool. Like, I'm looking at her Instagram.

That's what people are saying. We're so cool. We're getting texting. She's really cool and she tours and she's coming to the varsity theater in October. She is so gorgeous. Oh, my goodness. We should see if we can get her on. I would love that. I'd like to hear her story. This kid I am familiar with, and I reference him probably far too often.

I don't normally like kids, but this kid rules. His name is Noah Ritter, and he was the little red-haired kid who was interviewed for one reason or another on local television. Well, not local here, but on wherever he's from. And he repeatedly used the word apparently and talked about his grandfather and the remote and the powerboat. What did you think about the ride? It was great. And apparently, I've never been on live television before, but apparently sometimes I don't watch the news because I'm a kid, and apparently every time apparently grandpa gives me a remote after he watched a power ball. I think my husband quotes this kid every single day, honestly.

And he's so cute. Apparently. When that video came out, my ex-wife turned to me, and she goes, can we adopt that kid? He's the best. For me personally, the apparently part is cute. But what stuck with me is the line about his grandfather and the remote and the powerball. Okay. Oh, you know, some people have been texting in saying, is Uncle Terry on the list?

No, he's not. Oh, he should be. Yeah, he should. And this list could have been a lot longer. It could have been a lot longer. You know, people are texting, Jeremy Meeks, hot felon. He was so popular for a while. I remember talking about him not that long ago, maybe in the stupid news report that

Yeah, I think he got in trouble again. Oh, no. That tracks. Yeah, Uncle Terry should be recognized. We all love Uncle Terry. He's the greatest ever. I can't decide if it's Antoine Dodson or Uncle Terry. That's hard. That's way too hard.

They should be best friends. Yeah, they should live together and have a movie series together. One more before we take a break. We've got plenty to go here. We're talking about some of these Internet sensation type characters who had a couple of weeks where it's all anyone wanted to talk about and then God knows where they're at now. Oh, yeah, Cubby, this one goes back.

I think, did we interview this guy? His name is Ted Williams. He was a homeless some bitch. Homeless character on the side of the road summers and someone put a microphone in his face. The local news interviewed him. And he had this incredible deep voice and it led to a radio gig. Hey, I'm going to make you work for your dollar.

Say something with that great radio voice. When you're listening to nothing but the best of oldies, you're listening to Magic 98.9.9. Thank you so much. God bless you. Thank you. And we'll be back with more right after these words. He got a radio gig? Well, he had a radio gig.

Oh. Which you understand why he's homeless. Oh, I see. But then after that, he did get some voice work. So he was a radio guy. Bad things happened. He ends up on the street. Oh, okay.

So he had prior experience before. Yeah, he was like a DJ in Ohio. I think that was the story. No surprise, he ended up on the street. Right. You can understand. Appass morning show, 93X. All right, let me fill you in on what we've been jaw jacking about here with C.

Willie Miles in studio. We've been talking about some of these characters who made it big, oh, for a brief period of time. They hit it big on social media. They hit it big on the internet. What they call, I think, in the business, Josh, a viral sensation. We've been rolling through some of the all-time, most memorable, viral. A lot of people have been texting in.

They can't hold their mud. They want to know if their favorite Internet sensation has made the list. Let me roll through some of the names that people are calling out. Dirt bike guy, no. Hawkingwood girl, no. Yeah, dirt bike guy, no. Hock to a girl, no. Jonathan the zombie, no.

New Dang, the baby rhino, no. The It's Corn Kid, no. He's great. A dead giveaway guy, no. Wow. Like Josh said, this list could be incredibly long. Life isn't fair. Some of your favorite internet sensations did not make the list.

Right. I'm sorry, you went fast. Did anybody mention the zombie kid yet? Jonathan, yes. Nowhere to be found. Okay, I got to see if I still have the corn kid. It's corn. I love this kid.

Here we go. Yes. Oh, the corn kid? For me, I really like corn. Ever since I was taught that corn is real, it tasted good, but when I tried it a bit better, everything changed. I love corn. Mm, cone.

Not everyone has to like it to be the best. Yeah. Just has to try it. Have a bake. Look at this then. I can't imagine a more beautiful thing. It's cone. Can you describe corn to someone who's never tasted it before?

A big lump with knobs. It has the juice. How much do you think corn should cost? One dollar. I hope you very have a cone-tastic day. What? It's just a pun about corn. Whoever made this list wanted to shut him out. It is so cute that the kid goes.

Once I found out it was real? Did you not think it was right? Every kid remembers the first time they found out corn was real, actually. My parents have been lying to me all these years. It is real. Sorry, some of your favorites aren't in the mix. That's okay. This is just one website's list.

Here's who they did include. Okay. and there's some, I'm going to get lost here shortly. I do remember the Gangnam style dude. They called him sigh. I hated this with a passion. Okay. I still do.

All right. Here's a character named Bauer, who came up with a song called the Harlem Shake. Gatier. Gatier. Gotiya. Goti. They're so good. I absolutely love them.

Cubby, they threw the macarena folks into the mix. Wow. That's old school. Eh, macarena. So that was an internet thing before it became a hit single? I thought that was one and the same. It was a hit single and an internet thing. Okay. Yeah, I don't know.

The dance, I guess, is more of a... Yeah, I don't know why this would be a viral video necessarily. Just the dance took on. I remember the song. When it came out, I think he had 56K Internet access, you know, before it was fast. I don't know what that means. Anyway, Danielle Briggold. Who they say here is the cash me outside.

How about dat girl? Catch me outside. How about that? Catch you outside? What does that mean? What I just say? I don't understand. She was such a terrible person to her mother.

Oh, my God. This was from the Dr. Phil television show and then she, uh, porno? Yeah, she makes like a million bucks a month on Only fans. Is she bad Barbie? Yes, they're one and the same. Dude, see, I didn't know that, Dana. I keep getting confused. One second, I think they're the same person.

The next second, I think they're different. Because isn't there like another, there's like a bad baby or something? I don't know. Oh, wow. Here's another good question via the text machine. Yeah, what about that poor gal who fell out of that grape bucket? I just, I watched her video the other day. Did you?

Yeah, the grape lady. Oh, it's awful. She was hurt so bad. It was funny until you find out how badly she was hurt. She fell smooth out of that grape bag. on live television, dislocated or collarbone and just howled like a... So there's plenty that could have been included here. All right, what do they have left?

I never... You guys know, I'm just not a kid's guy, so I never understood why this Charlie bit my finger kid, but he was... He's on the list. Oh, no! Oh, Charlie! Charlie bit me. And that really... her children, it's still hurting.

Maybe it's because I don't like the English, I don't know. It's so cute. Yeah, the accent gets me. That was like such an OG, like, I remember that from when I was really young, like being such, like, one of the first really huge viral videos. That's what they call it here, Ashley. They call it the internet's first mega viral. A grumpy cat.

And finally, and again. She bangs. Pardon me? My wife just texts in. She bangs. No sign of. She bangs. She bangs.

That was horrible. William Hung, right? Yeah. Oh, that's William Hung? I think so. I liked him. Yeah, he was an American Idol. When he did that cover?

He had a song called, that's right, she bangs. And it was like, that guy should have been cut weeks ago, and they just drug him on. Oh, Josh and I loved it years ago when he sang the national anthem. Oh, no. He's great. He did a great job on the. And then he did, take me out to the ball game. Oh, that's what, buy me some penis and crackers.

That's what I meant to say. Yes. I'm sorry, not the national anthem, but take me out to the stinking. Here we go. Oh, that's, you got it? Buy me some penis and cracker jacks. That's an interesting comment. He still can't see.

How much is that going to cost me? The last on the list here, and again, sorry if your favorites didn't make it, but the last one I loved. And Josh and I had a good time with this many years ago. David after dentist, the kid who was fresh out the dentist's office and just higher than a giraffe's ass and started talking nonsense. This guy's great. I feel fun.

It kind of felt good, didn't it? Is this real life? Yeah, this is real life. Okay, now, I have two fingers. Good. All four fingers. And if you like David after dentist, what you got to watch is, The superior clip, really, Josh, is Vader.

Chad Vader. Chad Vader after dentist. Yeah. Where Darth Vader, Chad Vader does pretty much the same routine. And it sent me into a tizzy. The side by side? Yeah. Chad Vader's the best actor of all time.

He is. Everything David does, he does perfectly. Perfect timing. Yeah. Oh, God. If you don't know, yeah, some people that still text in it in it. What about the I like turtle? kid. What about the hawk to a girl?

Yeah, they just weren't on there. They weren't on the list. It doesn't mean I like turtles. I'm trying to take anything away from whatever the hell they accomplished in their lives. But you're right. If you're not familiar with Chad Vader after dentists who mimics David after dentist, it will change your friggin' life. Yeah, you're going to go down a rabbit hole, that's for sure.

Oh, my damn. Good Lord. Thank you, C. Willie Miles. Yeah. And we'll see you a Friday night at the Brostout Cancer at the American Legion. Everybody come. Come. Hungry. It's going to be so much fun. Plenty to eat. Bring money.

Yes. Lots of me. You're going to want to spend some money. 93X. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good.

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