93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Lemon Party

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

Originally Aired  September 28, 2026: Josh's Halloween outfit idea. Bad day to be a crane operator. Everything you've ever wanted to know about shattered windshield glass in your Frosty.   Listen & subscribe to the show on the 93X app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Text the show at 651-551-9393. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, podcast friends. It's Dana here. I know you're excited for the show, so let's just get right down to brass tax. I'm a smart club member of standard heating and air conditioning. I think you should join me. I don't mean to be that guy, but as Minnesones, we know what season's coming up. Getting your furnace tune up before the cold weather hits is just smart. Right now, you can save $70 on a furnace tune-up or double dip and save $140 if you add the AC tune-up as well. Scheduled by September 30th and use a code 93x to save. Standard heating and air conditioning, providing the comfort you deserves is 1930. online at standardheating.com.

Enjoy the show. The 93x half-ass morning show. 90-3. F-your weekend. F-and-forget it. It's time to go back to work. Welcome to the opening broadcast of the work week here on the 93-X half-ass morning show.

Sorry if I... Cubby, I'm sorry if I killed the cool vibe in here. I had to turn the lights up a little bit. I couldn't see Dick Tracy. Oh, did I happen too low? Yeah, you created a pretty cool. vibe. You know what it is is on Mondays I bring in all my beverages. I've got like cases of beverages so I had my hands full so I must not have put them at the appropriate level and I apologize. I didn't even notice.

Neither did I. You got nothing to apologize for because again you uh you had a cool dark vibe going in the room. It's just I couldn't read the script in front of me. Can't do it can't do a show without our script. It's been a while since somebody asked about this. So I had to turn the lights up a little bit. The last time someone asked about our scripted program. If we were on scripts or whatnot. Yeah. If that's the case, I'd request a better writer.

I think maybe we'd make some phone calls on that. But no, it's not scripted. I had to turn the lights on up. But you had it. If we were just going to sit here and chill all day, it was perfect. It really was. Hope everyone had a terrific weekend. You want to tell me about it?

I mean, nothing super exciting. It was nice. We had some family over yesterday. I guess that was exciting. That was a lot of fun. Watch some television. But I also came up with my Halloween outfit this year. Oh, what do you got?

And I got to thank the Golden Gophers for this opportunity. Oh, boy. Like PJ Fleck, I'm going to put on like some sort of gopher polo, and I'm going to smear blood all over my face and maybe take some adderall. Maybe I'll take something to kind of give me some weird energy. Oh, dude, you know what? People would know what I was, right? If I walked around with that.

Now that you said it out loud, I bet we're going to be surrounded by that character come Halloween. Any swinging D here in town who's not the tallest some bitch in the world. Check. And who's got a bald head. Check. All they need is a gopher pullover and a little blood on their face. It'll be easy. I really do believe

even before you said it out loud on this high-powered radio station even before you said that out loud even if you hadn't said that I bet we'll be surrounded by him what an easy costume timely everything that folks go for these days

with their Halloween costumes they want it to be timely perfect they want it to be easy yeah and I think that nails it right there the hell got into that some bitch I love him so much he's insane I don't know, man. My wife said she's afraid of him now.

She doesn't want to go to any ballgame. She's freaked out by him. He's very likable, but he's also really, really weird at times. I've always liked the guy. I have. That was weird. That was odd. Yeah.

I forgot. What was the name of the player? I already forgot. That doesn't matter. Baronski, Barovsky. I know he has a name. Yeah, I know the guy. It's on the back of his jersey.

He's got a name, huh? Barn Ronski. Even afterwards, he was like, yeah, you know, the gist was, you know, wasn't expecting. and get, I wouldn't have done it, a little different. He's looking at him like, did you, and the way he did it too. So much passion. I wonder how many people, I mean, I suppose the internet is the internet. But seeing how that happened at around 2 o'clock in the morning Sunday morning,

because they had that ridiculously late game at Washington, you know, I wonder how many folks, you know, maybe haven't spotted it yet. If you haven't, if you didn't notice because the Golden Gophers were playing at two o'clock in the morning Sunday morning. When they defeated Washington, head coach PJ Fleck comes uncorked like he does with any victory. And it's part of why I think a lot of folks like him around here is because he's that little wacky ball of energy head coach that'll just.

Nothing but positivity. Completely wet his pants over. He walks up on a gopher player who's bleeding out the mouth at the ass end of the game. and PJ and the player are hugging and congratulating each other. And PJ takes his right hand, grab some of the blood off this kid's face, and then smears it on his own face. God.

Here's a call of the action. There's no words for this. Oh my God. The definition of blood, sweat, and tears. It's 1.30 in the morning in Minnesota. And PJ Fleck has gone insane. after his team defeats Washington. It's a good way to put it.

And again, maybe some of you aren't even aware of it because it happened so late at night. It's on our website. And then after the game, he said something about he compared himself to the frontiersman of the Wild West or something. He said, that's how they must have done it back in the frontier days.

The what? How is that comparable to college football? What? But it was definitely bizarre. And like I said, my wife, we had plans to maybe go to a game or two. She said, I'm not going anywhere near that frigging ballpark now. She's totally afraid of PJ. We work basically across some train tracks from the practice facility.

Did she worry at all about you coming into work today? No, she hasn't said anything about that. She just doesn't want to go anywhere near him. It was different. Absolutely different. Jesus, balls. I mean, does anyone know how many different diseases the man has put himself at risk for it now?

Watch I'm thinking. You've got a college athlete. Yeah. He might be having sex with women. Slinging it, bro. Yeah, and it could be multiple women. Maybe he's using a condom. Maybe he's not. There's all kinds of things you can catch from somebody else's blood, right? Yeah. But he don't care. They beat Washington.

We beat the Huskies on the road. It'd be bonding, right? Hey, how'd you get that STD? Well, it's kind of a weird story, but it happened at the, a big victory. I ain't mad at the guy, but I'm a little unnerved by it. It is unnerving. It was unnerving to watch. Again, I appreciate the passion.

I love how excited he is about this team, but my goodness. I didn't notice it the first time, or the first couple times I watched the video. I thought people were just talking about, like, how excited he was. Because I don't know, I must not have been fully paying attention. But then, yeah, last night, I fully paid it. And I was like, oh, my God. I didn't know he was smearing blood on his face. awesome. Is he, Josh, is he preparing for some kind of conjuring or something? Is there going to be,

is there going to be a sacrifice? Oh, you know what? Maybe he's doing it to stay young. I just watched Lizzie Borden and they had Elizabeth Bathory, what was she, the blood countess? I forgot exactly who her name. The blood of the young. Where she would bathe in the blood of virgins, you know, to stay keep her complexion. Start that over. Start that over. Who? I think it was Elizabeth Bathery, I thought, was her name? And this is a character from history? They had a, they made a reference to her in Lizzie Borden on Netflix. The old story about Lizzie Borden, what, like 1800s or something? Yeah, the 1800s. And there was a woman back in those days? Yeah, that was kind of a part of the story. Oh. She was intrigued by Elizabeth Bathry. Lizzie Borden was intrigued. Yes. Oh, okay.

Oh, haven't we heard some? I mean, of course, there's a little bit of all types of madness now available to us. daily on the godless, soulless, and wildly misinformed internet and social media. What was the latest, what's one of the weird blood gimmicks we've heard? Wasn't there something going on about drinking the blood of anyone? Anyone got it yet? I'm trying to think. Or possibly smearing the blood of young people upon your... I got something there.

I just can't come up with it. someone can text it in. I thought there was some kind of wacky blood gimmick that we had heard recently. But anyway... Well, are those like health maxers or whatever they called, aren't they like... You're headed in the right direction. I thought they were... Oh, well, oh, I know what it is.

Yeah. Period blood. Go ahead. Wasn't it one of the Kardashians that put that on her face? I think that's it. Oh. Not that I think you got it. I think that's what it was. I knew it wouldn't take long with this crowd. You're a brilliant crowd. Yeah. I think there was something about Period blood.

But then I thought I heard health maxers were like doing the equivalent. Is it dialysis where they clean your blood? I guess I don't really know. Oh, yeah. Where they're just kind of putting it through a machine. They throw some dawn dishwashing

detergent in there, put it back. I think you nailed it with that period blood story. So, you know, ain't an old thing, just your college football coach painting himself with the blood of his players. You've seen it a million times. Absolutely.

What was his name there from the Packers, the overrated guy? They named the trophy after him. Vince Lombardi. Lombardi did it. Bill Walsh did it. Tom Landry, Mike Ditka, all the great coaches, Chuck Knoll. They all painted themselves in the blood of their players. It would have been weird if he didn't do it.

It would have been weird if he did. I suppose, you know, a church you symbolically drink the blood of Jesus, which is when you think about it, that's a little odd. That's a strange thing, don't you think? I always thought it was a little weird. Certainly is. When I was a kid, I thought, oh, gross. Why are people doing that?

I don't like that. Although, church wine's pretty good, I must say. Church wine? Church wine? I'm not a wine drinker, but I don't mind that stuff. We got a listener, poor some bitch had to put half his egg McMuffin on the dash of his pickup truck. He's all done. One of those type of mornings for sure.

Kind of gross. He's all done. And some other people are texting in, you know, some of the other blood rituals. stories that they've heard from the internet. I mean, blood ritual makes it sound evil. Blood-related health benefits. I'll go with that route, yeah, because there's certainly more than one, you know. I think Josh got it right when he mentioned that Kardashian bit, but there are others saying,

oh, people on the internet say you can do this with your blood or somebody else's blood, and it'll improve your, it'll improve your this and help your that. were surrounded by this. I ran into an old friend over the weekend. I spent some time with our wonderful old pal, Janelle Klein. Oh, cool. How's she doing? She's doing fine.

She says hello. It's always interesting going out with Jungle Jane. She's the type who orders a glass of wine, takes one sip, and then when it's time for her to get up and go, she puts $40 on the table. And then we'll fight you over that $40. I saw Janelsky. And then what was weird? So that was Friday night?

I believe that was Friday night. Friday night. By Saturday, I found some whack-ass article about her ex-boyfriend, Jose Canseco. Oh, no. You want to hear more, you know, madness. Yeah, so went out with Janelle. and then I bumped in this article about her bonkers ex-boyfriend Jose Konseko. Did you know this about him?

The article you're about to read? Oh, yeah. I didn't know he believed in some of this. I knew he was cracked. He must not have been this goofy back when he was in love with Janelle because she wouldn't have put up with this nonsense. So if you want to hear it, I got it for you. If you want to cut me off, just holler.

Jose Konseko was on a podcast or something. I don't know. he was somewhere. Okay, he believes Bigfoot is 100% real. Of course he does. And that ain't even close to it. We got a ways to go yet. Now remember, this is the same guy, Jose Canseco, who told a ridiculous story once.

He tried to lead folks to believe that his finger fell off at a poker tournament. Can anyone look that up for me? Because I need to know more details on that. Jose Canseco once told a ridiculous lie about his finger falling off, as fingers will do, they'll fall off during a poker tournament. He once claimed that he met an alien ghost, not just an alien or a ghost, but a combination to the two. He met an alien ghost that talked to him.

So, you know, everything from here out, you might be a little apprehensive to believe him. So here's the finger story. Yes. He was cleaning a gun in his kitchen and she, shot his own finger off, got it reattached with surgery, and then later, a couple weeks later on

Twitter, joke that it fell off during a poker game. So he actually just shot his own finger off. That's what happened. There you go. Let's see. He said someone took a video of it. Well, let us see the video. I'll pass. He also talked about dating Madonna,

which I believe might actually be true. I think he actually did make a run at Madonna, or maybe dater for, you know, a weekend. Ooh, he said he was faster than all-time big league legend Ricky Henderson. Sure. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. See, some of this is sports-related. He mentioned that he thinks some umpires in the past have fixed big league baseball games. Okay. All right, there must be some small amount of good sense remaining in his head. because he does say he hated playing for the New York Yankees. So there must be some amount of, right? There's some amount of common sense still in his brain.

He's got a little bit. Let's see if he can follow this. Jose was asked, okay, he was asked, you know, on a scale of 1 to 10, one being not real at all, 10 being 100% real. He was asked to rank the following. Okay, Bigfoot, he said 10. Duh. They asked him about Bigfoot

He said that's a smooth 10 I truly believe that there are species out there unknown to man That the Government is hiding from us All right

So Bigfoot 10 The moon landing Hmm Oh no Five It's a five It's a five or for him It's better than I thought it was going to be

He says he's not so sure He'll put it at a five the moon landing. Actors. It was a Hollywood thing, a lot of people believe. It made it up. The earth being flat,

he said, no. He laughed at that, actually, because that's ridiculous. The Bigfoot guy. He laughed at the idea of the earth being flat. He said, no, it can't be flat. Give me a friggin' break.

I'm Jose Canseco. I know what I'm talking about. Again, scale of 1 to 10, 1 being, it's not real, 10 being 1,000% real. He was asked about professional sports, teams tanking and he said that's impossible there's no such thing so he's got sarcasm in his game that's a sign that somebody might still have a thread of good mental health left right josh

there's a couple of signs when they can be sarcastic they can tell a joke there's a sign that he might be he might have a chance the lock nest monster now he shut that down all together and said no way doesn't exist at all so he's he's all over bigfoot but he says lock nest not a chance he's just got a Weird thing for BigPuck. Yeah, he really picks and chooses his spots, doesn't he? Area 51. Isn't that where they keep Hanger 18? I know too much.

Yeah. Wasn't that the story, Josh? Yeah. Everybody's going to storm it. Never happened, though. Area 51, he said, well, he was asked, are they hiding anything? He says, no, not now. But in the past, yes, they were 100%.

Atlantis. Help me with that one. What's the story of Atlantis again? There's an underwater world? Well, yeah, didn't it, like, sink? So it existed at one point and then sank. I don't know if people lived on it underwater. I can't really remember the story of Atlantis,

but he does, Jose Konseko we're talking about. He does believe that at one point or another, that was real, but he says it's no longer around today. I'm sorry, I'm not up to speed on the story of Atlantis. Me either. I remember I thought it was cool when I was a kid. Jose was asked have aliens visited Earth, and he put that at a tensky. 100% times infinity, he says.

As a matter of fact, he believes we Earthlings, or maybe the government, has some type of an agreement with aliens. He didn't expand on that thought that maybe we've negotiated with the aliens to where they're allowed to swing by once in a while as long as they don't start trouble. And then he made another joke. Someone asked him, you know, our professional sports scripted. Maybe he was being serious here. I'm not sure. Because again, I still think the guy has a sliver of a sense of humor. He was asked on this podcast, our pro sports scripted.

And he said, that's impossible. There's no way something physical that happens so fast can be scripted. That sounds like a sensible answer. So maybe he wasn't joking there. So there you go. Janelle's ex-boyfriend, Jose Canseco. Bigfoot and aliens are real. No on the Loch Ness monster, though. Yeah, that's strange to me. Maybe he just doesn't, maybe he's just not familiar. Well, maybe he doesn't like to swim or something. I don't know.

If it was like a monster in the ocean, maybe he'd believe it. But when they're searching, they've just got that lake to search, right? It's just a big cold lake. Maybe that's his theory. I suppose. So there you go. What else is going on around here? Got some resolution on something we were talking about Friday with our state troopers when they joined us.

And something, this happened 20-some years ago. And it's a story I've told you guys before where I saw a guy getting on Highway 77. He had his left leg outside a window, his driver's side window. And he's playing the acoustic guitar. And it was just one of the strangest things I'd ever seen. I brought up this story again on Friday, and I heard from the guy. And it's a regular listener who I really enjoy hearing from, Barsaw Jesus. And you're really buying this?

Yeah, he gave me details that I've never said on the air. And he explained what happened. He was trying to show a buddy a new strumming pattern. So there must have been a passenger. Obviously, I was so focused on the driver. I didn't see what was going on in any other seat. And he said they eventually played the song for a drive-through attendant. at a Hudson restaurant, and she really enjoyed it, apparently.

So I got some resolution after 20-some years on this particular story. You have a face that says you're believing it as much as Bigfoot? He gave me details I never brought up. Like what? The direction he was traveling. Well, there's a 50-50 shot there. Okay. But he told me the entrance he came on the freeway and everything.

That one's a little more than a 50% chance. I'll go along with. buying it. Case closed. You know who the guy, you know who the guy was now. Because I asked him, are you messing with me? And then he gave me some more details and said, I guess maybe you saw two, but it would be kind of odd if you saw another dude doing the same thing. That's effed up. That's effed up. Yeah, that's insane. Bar saw Jesus. All along, it's been Bar saw Jesus. I've had a relationship with him many, many, many times we've gone back and forth. Well, then why didn't he tell you this before? I don't know.

Maybe he hadn't heard me talk about it. He was showing. He was showing his friend in the passenger seats. A strumming pattern. A chord of strumming pattern. He couldn't do that when they got to Apple Valley or wherever they were going. Clowns never laughed before. Beanstalks never grew.

Speaking of guitars, I forgot to bring my ukulele in. Well, I was wondering if you're going to bring. For another Vikings victory? Of course, I meant to every, every time the Vikings win, I play a victory song of my ukulele, but I slept in today and I forgot the damn thing. I hope everyone will forgive me. I'm sure it's devastating to... It's going to be hard to get through the day.

I'm actually packing up and going home. I'm not going to hear my ukule. Wow. Well, that's fascinating, Cubby. Yeah, I couldn't believe it. I thought it was one of those mysteries. I want this dickhead to prove it. I want him to bring his guitar in and play us a song.

Yeah, show us that. strumming pattern, pal. I bet if you handed him a guitar, he wouldn't know how to, the first thing to do with it. Bar saw, Jesus. The initials in Barsoe are BS. That's true. Here's a listener who texted in to say, so why are we listening to Jose Konseko? Well, no one's listening to him.

We're just talking about him. And we didn't book him on the podcast. Yeah, I don't think anybody's taking his word for it there. We're just talking about him. Jesus balls, Josh. If I ever make it clear that I'm following in the thoughts and the theories and the footsteps of Jose Canseco, just give me a big hug and hold me there. Don't let me go because I'll only be headed for trouble.

You're just talking about the ex-boyfriend of a friend of the show who you saw Friday. That's all you are. That's exactly right. All right. So a little bit later on, Randy Schaber and Brad Rider will be here and we'll talk about the Vikings, and I'm sure we'll talk about PJ Flex blood mask again. The blood mask. Oh, God, Covey, I'm telling you, like you mentioned earlier.

That is going to be the number one Halloween costume amongst bald men here in the Twin Cities. That was my thought. That's why I thought maybe I'd go with that. Oh, you should. You should. You'd look great. Please do.

You'd look wonderful in that set up. I don't know if you'd scare the kids, but you'd scare my wife. Oh, shoot, Halloween's on a Saturday. Well, I'll have to come in here on Friday, one day ahead of time and wear that. I suppose there's probably a lot of Halloween parties Friday night. Yeah.

So it wouldn't be an inappropriate day to dress up. Yeah. Did you get invited to Eddie? Dude. Not anymore. I got invited to so many. Oh. I can't decide which one to go to.

What do you think, Ashley? Based on the history of how many parties I've not been invited. too. I can have a Halloween party and invite you. I'd love to go. Not going. Not my thing anymore, but we used to certainly... Well, yeah, when I was your age, I loved them too. When

we were young, we used to blow the doors off the joint on Halloween. Yeah, that was fun. Jesus. I mean, the whole... She felt like garbage. The whole goal is you're like, I didn't know she would ever dress like that. You're a slutty, what? Everything was a slutty something. Is that still

the case, Ashley? You go to parties. Oh, more so? than ever. Yeah, definitely. Not for me anymore, but, because I'm going to be Jesse from Toy Story this year. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Slutty Jesse from Toy Story. It wouldn't matter. I'll be trick-or-treating. Evil Jesse? I don't know

Jesse, but I've never... Oh, that'd be cool. I could do that. Do evil Jesse. I will also do evil Jesse. I, uh, that I probably shouldn't. I'd like traumatized my child. He really liked, he's never seen the movie, but he likes the little toy story doll figurines. Everybody likes the toys. If I was

bloody, I don't know. Well, he doesn't know what bloody means. He has my son. Maybe he thinks it's way cooler than the regular, Jesse. He doesn't even know what he's looking at, Ashley. True. Yeah. He might, I don't know.

Maybe they know more than we know. True, she says. He doesn't know what the hell you're covered in. No, he's not too sure. He can't determine that any yet. All right. There you go. Ooh, here's a question.

Are we going to have Marcus on the show this week? Well, the pigs don't start yet, do they? I think they do start this week, yes. Yeah. What? Really? Yeah. Holy balls.

They start Thursday. It was busy. Oh, my God. Downtown on Friday. There's like a game on Friday. Practice game. Yeah. It was not a real game.

It was so busy downtown. It was piss me off. I wasn't expecting it. It's like, go home. What were you doing in St. Paul? I went to the Science Museum. Oh, nice. Yeah, I thought it was a lot more kid-friendly than it is.

What are we talking about? What do you mean? A lot of nudity? Well, no, I just like little kid-friendly. There's not much stuff for, like, little tiny kids to do. I don't know. So like a little bit older kids. You know they have a children's museum, right?

Yeah, yeah. I should have went there, but I didn't want it to be too busy. Well, but again, the kid is one. I mean, just let him rest at home until he's. I get bored. I go crazy. I don't want anyone going crazy. Well, by damn, if the pigs start this year, then, or this week, I should say.

If the pigs start this week, then yeah, we'll try our best to get Marcus on the telephone. I just wasn't up to speed. I had no idea that this was. Week one of the... Jesus. Christ. That's hard to believe. All right.

So we'll get going again. You're a terrific crowd. And we've got a lot to discuss between now and nine o'clock in the morning. We'll be back with the stupid news here in a few minutes on the half-ass morning show. The 93-Ags Half-Ast Morning Show. Hey, podcast, friends. It's Dana here. I'm a smart club member of standard heating and air condition.

I think you should join me. I don't mean to be that guy, but as Minnesones, we know what season's coming up. Getting your furnace tune up before the cold weather hits is just smart. Right now, you can save $70 on a furnace tuneup or double dip and save $140 if you add the AC tuneup as well. Scheduled by September 30th and use a code 93x to save. Standard heating and air conditioning, providing the comfort you deserves is 1930. Online at standard heating.com. Randy Shaver here, if you're dealing with a work-related injury and need someone to fight for you,

then Dave Bialky's your guy. This is his specialty with over 30 years of experience in helping the work person get compensated for work-related injuries, even if your injury was years ago. Don't wait. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's BIA-L-E-Law.com. You want Dave on your side. It's football season. On Polymarket trade your football predictions against other fans before and during the game. You can even combine multiple trades with Polymarket combos. Promocode W-W-C-FB. New customer deposit $10 and get $50 instantly to start trading.

18 plus. See Polymarkets terms of service for more information about restrictions and eligibility. The Polymarket app is an independent affiliate of Polymarket U.S. and not CFTC regulated. Trading always involves risks. Complete loss can occur. The $50 offer is issued as not withdrawal-tradable trading credit for use on the platform. Offer exclusively available to first-time depositors. Not available in all jurisdictions. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. Before we start pinballing back and forth with today's Stupid News Report, I just

want to let a couple of listeners know that we have received your text messages on the untimely passing of another television rassler. I didn't have a stinking clue until I read your text messages this morning. I appreciate you giving us a heads up. I'm sad to inform folks that at only 40 years old, one of the most talented wrestlers in the game, you might know him as Neville, or you might know him as Pac, pack. I can't remember exactly. If you're a television wrestling fan, you know who I'm talking about. He's gone at 40 years old. And there's no details just yet on what happened. We'll get ourselves together and tell you as much as we know about it when we cover the sports in about an hour or so. I didn't see anything in a story, but so he'd

wrestled the previous night. I didn't see anything saying he was injured or there was something that happened. Did anybody else see? No. No. There's no explanation just yet. He performed Saturday night. Yesterday, he died.

At only 40 years old. And this guy was outstanding. Absolutely outstanding. One of the best high flyers I've ever seen in my life. One of the best risk takers in the ring that I've ever seen. What a friggin' shame. thanks for the heads up and we'll tell you what we know in about an hour but that's just terrible only 40 man he had some matches with well i think his last match was with andrade el idilo

another terrifically talented guy the best i ever saw pock pack neville however you want to call him was when he would perform with ray phoenix and What the hell is the name of the guy? Ray Phoenix, his partner Forever, who now is in WWE, luchador, scary looking mask. El Cedar Manero, you know who I'm talking about? I don't know. I thought you watched the WW.

Penta LZero? Yes. Oh, Penta, yeah. Neville, with those two guys, were ungodly to watch in the ring together. Just ungodly. So Pentagon, Jr., whatever, yes. We're sorry. Sorry to hear all that. Okay, on to the stupid news. F me running. Here we go with that hazing gimmick. The young people and their hazing routines.

It doesn't seem to matter, Cubby, how many times someone gets lit up or thrown out of school or arrested for this type of nonsense. The young dudes just aren't able to help themselves with the terrible beatings and the baby elephant. and the soggy sailor and the drinking until someone seizes up and dies in their sleep. Until recently where there's more and more and more of these stories, I kind of thought that was a thing of the past for the most part. It ain't never going to go away. Because of the punishments and everybody's got a phone and that kind of thing. It ain't never going to go away because we dudes are just that stupid.

And this time around, we're not talking about a hockey team. It's not sports related. This is the classic fraternity house hazing. and it happened right over that away in Madison, Wisconsin at the University of Wisconsin. Shockingly, Bucky Badger has been arrested. I'm kidding. About time. The cops in Madison upped and arrested two leaders of what they call here an unrecognized fraternity.

Apparently last Wednesday night, the police found about 30 partially. clothed jabronies in a dirty basement. I saw the picture of these sorry bastards. It looked like every damn one of them was wearing a pair of blue jeans, but no shirt. So they found 30 shirtless jabrones in a dirty basement

covered in food and condiments which was allegedly all part of this completely stupid hazing ritual. The cops got an anonymous tip. Someone called them up on the telephone and said, you might want to stop by a place called Alpha Epsilon Pie Fraternity.

Those guys are stupid. So the cops showed up and in the basement, there they found the 30 or so young fellas. Most of them were 18-year-olds. The cops say it was hotter than Dutch love down in the basement, around 81 degrees, they say. And the police said it was pretty obvious that they had all taken a beating along the way. The boys were pretty tuned up.

They looked like hostages. It didn't look like college kids having some fun. So it's hotter than the blazes. They're all shirtless covered in food and condiments, and they had taken a beating. Most of the kids were students at the University of Wisconsin. Man, all of them sweating their nads off in a hot basement covered in disgusting condiments. They must have smelled like an overturn hot dog cart dipped in ass. Two 20-year-olds called Braden and Sam were taken into custody.

They were taken to the county jailhouse for misdemeanor. hazing and misdemeanor disorderly conduct, the two of them claim to be the president and vice president of the fraternity, as if that means anything, but I love that. I am the president. What a bunch of tools. This is Sam. He is the vice president. One local Wiscoe cop said, our concern is when things are going too far, and people's lives or physical harm are at stake. That's when we are going to step in. And they did.

It says here, alpha epsilon pie is an unrecognized and unaccredited student organization. The University of Wisconsin terminated that fraternity more than a decade ago. And I'm sure that gives the two leaders, Zaden and Stan. Now, I forgot what their names were. It doesn't matter. That works. The so-called leaders of that frat house, I'm sure they think that's pretty cool that they're an outlaw fraternity there in Madison. They think that's epic, cubby.

They think that's sick. They think that's totally sick, seven. I'd imagine. The University of Wisconsin isn't terribly pumped about this nonsense at all, as you might imagine. So, you know. That's so does. There you go. I guess it could have been worse.

It could have been some type of a frat brother hand job competition. or something like that. I don't. Dumb bastards? There are other ways to make friends. That was one of three hazing stories that broke over the weekend. Oh, yeah? There was in Arizona.

There was a school there. They forced some of the pledges to swallow live goldfish. They're in trouble for that. The most dramatic is out of Roanoke, I believe. There was a football coach who got fired because in a hazing, some sort of hazing ritual, one of the kids lost a finger. He broke it so bad they had to take the finger right off.

During a poker game? No, it wasn't a poker game. You're thinking of Jose Can Sake. Oh, right, right, right, right. They had to take the finger off. That's right. I saw another one that included human feces, and I thought, no, no.

They will mess around with that. They do. Why? Why, why, why? Also, there's like 30 of these kids. How many frat bros were they dealing with? Like at one point were they not like, dude, let's stop doing this. Yeah, there's 30 of us.

Let's kick the president and vice president's ass. We have them outnumbered. They should definitely be able to do it now. Yeah, you've got to go beat their ass now. Cobby, I once lost a finger at a college party. Oh, you. Uh-uh. Did you find it?

How many knuckles deep? Uh-uh. The kid, you were telling us, the kid got his finger broken so bad they had to cut it off. That's right. this will never end. It never will. We're just that stupid, especially when we're between the age of 18 and,

well, let me go back, between the ages of 9 and 25. That's just how we dudes are wired. We're just that stupid. Brings me back to a funny story from an ex-co-worker of mine. Went to a college party. Frat party, I should be more specific. went to a frat party lots of people a couple of kegs of beer and he walked up to some dude who kind of looked like he was running things

and he said hey uh how do i get myself a hands how do i get myself a hands that makes no sense how do i get my hands on a keg glass i'd like to drink some beer and the frat guy said okay everybody this guy wants to drink some beer and they all gathered around and my buddy's looking around like what the hell's happening? Usually I just hand you $5 and you hand me a keg glass, whatever they call it, a solo cup. And they said, this guy wants a beer

and he's not part of our frat or whatever. Okay, dude, you want a beer? You got to touch that guy's penis and then you got to jump into this tub filled with KY jelly and then you've got to climb the rope and then you got to kiss that girl. And my buddy said, how about if I just hand you and you give me a glass.

That was his last trip to the frat house beer party. I only ever went to one frat party. It was like a baseball frat. And I don't really remember much about being there except that I thought the majority of them were super douchey and then I threw up outside. Hell yeah.

Because they were so douchy. They did. Oh, actually, they were not very nice about me throwing up on their lawn. I thought whatever. I don't even go here. A frat house that's uppity about vomit? Yeah, they were very mad at me. They must have been very, what's the word you use all the time?

No, no, no. What is it again? Boogey? Bougie, yes. A frat house that worries about vomit on the yard? I was so confused. I was so confused. What are they all studying to be groundskeepers or something? I never went back. It seems like, yeah, there'd be a lot of puk on their yard. Yeah, everywhere. They might appreciate that than the carpet. On the floor, on the ceiling, on each other. Like, I went outside. That was just polite, Ashley. Gosh. There you go. All right. Yeah, it's unfortunate, but it just keeps it going. Now, I don't know much about that door dash setup,

but the more I hear about the drivers, the more I'm impressed by their dedication, it seems to me we hear a lot of stories where these door dash drivers will truly bust their ass to get you your meal no matter what gets in their way. Crack heads, drunks, gunfights. Now, I'm sure there's plenty of you who have, have a complaint or two.

That's the nature of the business. But to me, being mostly unfamiliar with the gimmick, it seems to me we read a lot of stories about these some bitches will, we'll get it done, one way or another. Here's a video that recently started going. You know how they go, Josh. They go round and round. Yep.

Viral's the term. A dude in Maryland by the name of Glenn. Jesus. Glenn ordered. something or another to eat from the Door Dash folks. And the driver assigned to deliver Glenn's food got the job done despite the fact that along the way the driver had gotten into a bone-jarring car crash. Glenn, the DoorDash customer, he's the one who tossed this video online.

It's a video, I believe, of Glenn grabbing his food order from the driver at the damn scene of the car crash. I think that's my food right then. What's going on, bro? You're the DoorDasher? Yeah, yeah. You good? I'm so sorry, bro.

You got an accident bringing me my food. So there he was. Is that my food? And the guy says, yeah, that's it. Right after he got into a... So according to Glensky, the DoorDasher called him right after a halacious car wreck and said, I just got in a car crash.

My brakes gave way on me. Oh. My car is now a garbage pile, but if you want to come over here, I can still hand you your order. And Glenn said word. There's some shattered windshield glass in your frosty, but everything else is fine. Yeah, right. My front teeth are in your fries, but... Now, Glenn, being a good person, Glenn did question whether going over there to grab his meal after his delivery driver

had just been part of a terrible car wreck. Glenn worried that would make him look like the most selfish peckerhead in town. But he went ahead anyways. He felt bad about it. You can add more to your tip. He did more than that. To show his appreciation to the driver man, Glenn, he went ahead and fired up one of those GoFundMe setups

so the driver could get himself a new car. And someone has talked to the driver man about all this, and he said, I am deeply grateful that I survived and that no one else was seriously injured. He also said, I lost my whip and my job, and I have some rock star medical bills too. It's a frigging driver man had to go to the hospital. Brakes went out.

Yeah, there go the brakes. You ever had that experience before? I recommend it to everybody. That's a thrill ride. My wife had it happen. You don't forget that, I bet. On the freeway of all places. completely out. Wow.

The good news is, so far they've piled up $14,000 for the driver man. That's great. Tell us about this brakes going out on the wife's car on the freeway story. Well, it's actually a terrible story. I remember a little bit about it. We came home. It's a horrible story. It was a terrible night. We came home, and one of our dogs was acting very strange to the point. And this is, we were actually at the auto show, coincidentally enough.

We got back kind of late. You know, we went out afterwards. We got home kind of late, like 11, 12, late for us. And one of our dogs was acting really strange. And so to the point where we thought, let's take them in. And so my wife asked me to watch our kid. He was sleeping. And she brought her to the vet.

And I kind of, you know, it's one of those where I think it's probably fine. But unfortunately, we had to put her down. Now I'm going to cry. And so on the way back, my wife's on the phone with me and she's in tears. we weren't expecting. It was a crappy night. And also she's like, my brakes aren't working. They're like, what do you mean not working?

Like they're just a little squishy? And she's like, no, completely not working at all. And this was the least vehicle that we had for six months at the time. So I don't know exactly what happened in that situation. But luckily she was able to coast on the side of the freeway until the car eventually stopped. And by that point, it was, I don't know, 1.30 in the morning. Yeah, it was so. So nobody was on the road outside of the drunks.

Oh, my God. She's not lucky it happened then and not, yeah, the middle of the day. I got the piss scared out of me when my brakes went out when I was about 19 years old. I was driving a 19 and 77 AMC Gremlin. So, I mean, beauty. What could possibly go wrong, right? You loved that car, right? I did.

You talked fondly about it. Big Al and I used to put race helmets on like the Malachi brothers from Happy Days. and when I dropped that pig into first gear, Josh, I could lift the front end of that car straight up like we were at a freaking... Impressive. A hydraulic show or something. Whoa, I could throw that pig into first gear

and lift it all the way off the ground. So if any of you folks are Plymouth-Wiseta people, I was going northbound on Highway 101 headed for Highway 55. Now, on the, that would be the northeast corner of that intersection, now there's a CVS. Back in the day, there was a Tom, Thumb, and a gas station, 101, and 55. And I'm just as relaxed as can be behind the wheel as I'm approaching that intersection. And Highway 55 is, whoa, whoa, boom, boom, solid traffic.

Always. I'm headed towards Highway 55, and suddenly I ain't got a lick of brakes at my disposal. Then I was going about 50. Drop her down to second gear, first gear, you know, bang, wang. I'm trying to, my best, but I'm still at this point going 40. And it was either turn a hard, hard right into that Tom Thumb liquor store or take a big bite of every car going east or west on 55. I would have been killed instantly.

There's no question. I took a right into that gas station. I mean, I saw people literally diving for their lives who are pumping gas walking in to get a pack of cigarettes. They're diving out of my way, and I slammed into a curb. But that was better than the, what's the word I'm looking for? Alternative. Oh, my Lord.

Scary stuff when the brakes go bye-bye on you. I can't even imagine. Oh, gosh, I'd get out so fast. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. I mean, there could be situations where, I mean, by the time you even realize what happened, you've been in an accident. Yeah.

There I was, Cubby. Tears in my eyes. Did you get the car fixed? Yeah, she lived a little longer. Of course, you know how you've heard me tell stories about my cowboy hillbilly dad? You know, I called the old man and said the brakes gave away on me. Where are you?

I'm up on 55 and 101 at the Tom Thumb. I'll be right there. And he says, I can drive it back of the house. No. And he did. That's impressive. Well, he was a professional driver.

He was a professional driver. If anybody could. You know, there's a couple miles down the road to the house. I can make her. I mean, I followed him in his view. I said, I'm not doing it. He said, I'll do it. A couple times followed him home to get to a stoplight.

He's throwing her down to first gear and he's dragging his feet. He opens up the pad. Fred Flintstone style? Opens up the driver's side door. He's dragging his feet. No. Cowboy boots, I should say. His cowboy boots were putting off sparks.

What do they call the things on the bat? The spurs? The spurs were throwing sparks. He bought that vehicle for me, Josh. Maybe that's why it meant something to him. That's why he was willing to. Oh, I'll bet. He bought that vehicle for me.

True story for $10 in a case of beer from an Iwoeigen. $10 in a case of beer. That's all they want in Iowa for a 77 Gremlin, if in case you were in the market. Well, it didn't come with brakes. Would it cost more if it did? Yeah, more money if there would have been. All right, back to fast food. It seems to me, we were talking about the DoorDash.

driver. It seems to me like there's a rivalry going on among some of our favorite fast food restaurants. A rivalry that runs deep. So deep. So deep it'll put your ass to sleep. What song it was a good day, what rapper Ice Cube, what year

1993. At least this here story makes it seem like our favorite delicious fast food restaurants might be out to get each other from time to time. And that's right. That's not necessary. It says here a couple weeks ago, in Georgia, two Wendy's restaurant workers, the two of them upped and broke into a motor vehicle owned by a dude who worked in town at McDonald's. So the story is the McDonald's employee dude. He's sitting at home. He looks outside and he sees his car being broken into. And F me running.

the two derelicks who were rummaging through his ride, they were both still wearing their friggin' Wendy's work uniforms? Genius. MacDonald's guy watched one of them run off with his backpack. So he calls the police, told him what was going on, and he told them that he even recognized one of the Wendy's employees because the guy had applied for a job at McDonald's last month. I know the guy.

One of them. He applied for a... I work at Magda. The cops quickly found both of these gibronies. A bunch of idiots. One of them is 18 years old. The other one is 33. I always find that really interesting

when the guy in his 30s is still hanging out with the teenage kids. Yeah. Anyway, the local cops, who, as you know, these days, love to show off their comedic skill set online. The local cops in Georgia have nicknamed the Wendy's dudes the square patty duo. Thankfully, they didn't use the word bandits,

which is a pet peeve of mine. They call them the square patty duo. It would have worked in this case, at least. But you're right, bandits, it's overused and oftentimes not appropriate for the situation. You're right. Oh, yeah. Here's Lambo Jesus.

He knows something or another about where I crash my gremlin with no breaks. Yeah, he said it was a... Where is it? It was a Tom Thumb and a Party Mart Lickers. Yeah, you're exactly right. Anyway, party mart. Anyways, the Wendy's restaurant characters. The Square Patty Duo have obviously been arrested.

And that Wendy's, where they used to work, they are currently taking applications. They lost two workers In one night We lost the duo Yeah Frigan Wendy's Workers I delivered pizza

Which I loved I loved that job But we got along With the restaurants around us You know we'd swap out food Oh absolutely Yep we used to do the same thing I think that's pretty common

It was really cool when I worked at the food court in the mall Oh yeah I bet We worked We worked across the street from a subway And a dairy queen So that was pretty good to us Nice It was also like that when I worked at the Minnesota State Fair.

They do that kind of thing. We would constantly get some type of thing in exchange for our services. Sweet. You're going to love this one. We're going to wrap it up with this one. By the way, a couple people have texted in with their adventures in driving with no brakes. One of our listeners went from Mancato to East Bethel with no breaks. I do know one other guy who drove from Mancato State.

back to Wizzetta with no brakes. Did she use the E-brake or something? Yeah, he was an E-breaker and a foot dragger. One of our listeners learned to drive in a van with no brakes. Well, imagine how skilled you were once you had a vehicle with brakes. You know, you must have been incredible that. Okay. So this year, I suppose we could say that this is a turn back the clock,

greatest hits type addition to today's report. she's a story from years ago that has started making the rounds again. And it's so damn unique. Every few years, this story gets a new life and a new audience. So if you haven't heard this one, I'm going to let her buck. In the year of 19 and 95, a fella by the name of MacArthur. MacArthur Wheeler, what a name. And his bro, a guy called Cliff DeFoeff.

Johnston, MacArthur Wheeler and Clifton Johnston. The two of them carried out multiple bank robberies in the neighborhood of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. What made this gang bang special, first off, it's the fact that the two dildo bank robbers, they walked smooth into three or four different banks, toting semi-autin semi-automatic handguns with Nuffer, with nothing covering their gorgeous faces. They got the handguns, nothing covering their faces, which is pretty rare. Most bank robbers do something to try and hide their identity. Not these two butlords.

They came right in as is, and they stole all the monies. What was found out after the two morons were arrested, that's what makes this an all-timer. They thought that they had the ultimate disguise. And I know what you're saying. What do you mean, disguised? They didn't have anything over. The two of them had applied lemon juice to their faces before the robberies. And they truly thought that giving each other a lemon juice facial finish,

they thought the juice would make their faces invisible. That's awesome. You guys smell wonderful, but you're dumb as heck. So dumb. that's a special kind of dumb. And that's why this story, which is now 30-some years old, still has legs. One or both of them was convinced that since lemon juice was one of the made ingredients of invisible, how do you say that? Invisible?

One or both of them was convinced that since lemon juice was one of the main ingredients in invisible ink, if they tossed it off onto each other's faces, their faces would turn into nothing, invisible. A void. It's just so crazy, it might just work. Now, this gets a little confusing, but I'm going to go ahead anyway. They didn't blindly believe that theory about lemon juice.

They did put their invisible ink lemon juice gimmick to the test. They smeared lemon juice all, over Mr. Wheeler's face. And then he took a Polaroid picture of himself. Are you following this so far? Yes. So they were testing it. The Polaroid, remember how it comes smooth out, right out the camera.

And this Wheeler was nowhere in the picture. Oh, my God. Did they not wait for it to develop? So they had to have been saying, Jesus, Paul, this really works. The cops think that Wheeler, being dumb and as a stump, he simply failed to aim the camera properly at his own face or the film was no good or backwards or something stupid. They just made a simple mistake with the picture taking.

But when there was no face in that picture, they looked at each other and said, I'll be damned. And they thought, yeah, we're the first people to ever think of this, ever. So they made it. They made an effort to test it out. The two fellers did admit this. They did admit, oh my damn, did that lemon juice sting when it got into their eyes. Everything about this is perfect. When they were captured, Wheeler reportedly...

Okay, so they were photographed. How? And what's the word I'm looking for? Video recorded in all of these banks. And when this Wheeler character looked at the pictures in the video that showed his face, he said out loud, but I put on the lemon juice I had lemon juice all over my face like they believed it to the bitter

and no pun intended and people in the bank were probably so confused yeah what does he smell like that why do they smell like lemon juice and boy the balls on these guys they're not wearing a ski mask or anything put the money in the bag by the way I'm over here yeah I believe they're both locked up still to this day I could be wrong I believe you know they

obviously they went to the cooler but this is long Maybe they're out now. This is long enough ago. Maybe they got out. I don't know. They try it again. I think but I put on the lemon juice I'm going to use constantly at this point. You were late.

But I put on the lemon juice. The lemon juice put it right on my... Sports. On the 93 eggs half-assed morning show. There's no words for this. Oh, my God. The definition of blood, sweat, and tears. It's 1.30 in the morning.

Minnesota, and P.J. Fleck has gone insane after his team defeats Washington. For Pete's sake, new guys in the corner puking his guts out. P.J. Fleck is running around town as we speak, like a nut job covered in the blood of young men. But I mean, hell, they beat Washington. What's he supposed to do? Just sit still and they beat Washington on the road. It's reasonable when you learn that piece of information. We covered this a little earlier. I know that Brad Ryder and Randy Shaver are going to talk about it here in a half hour.

So if you don't know the story, we'll get to it. We'll get to the details, at least the details that we're aware of. But yes, PJ Fleck head coach of the Golden Gopher football team is covered in the blood of young men. Crazy, dude. Real quick, I'll get out the way for Cubby's News Report because we got a whole lot of time later to bang each other out back and forth

with this nonsense. There's so much going on. It really is. Vikings won another ball game. Would you define this one as ugly, too, Josh? Yeah, they win ugly. They've proved that this season so far. I used to know a guy named Dusty. Let me tell you something about Dusty. He wasn't afraid to F ugly. Twins season? It's all over with. I want to thank the Polad family for another great season.

You're pro-lads. Oh, wait, did you guys have a falling out? Am I misremembering that? No, you're thinking of me. and the Wilf's. Oh, yeah. Yeah, me and the Wilf's don't see eye to eye. I'm proud of the twins. We can get into that. I'm proud of what they did this season.

They overshod a lot of people's expectations. But they did what we asked them to do over the weekend. They were dicks about it in that series against the Texas Rangers. Baseball playoffs start tomorrow. Speaking of playoffs, the frigging Lynx lost their first playoff game. What the heck? Badly, too. Yeah, that wasn't good.

They got beaten their first playoff game yesterday. There's a whoopin. They're the top seed in the, and it's only a best. three and then they play to tomorrow and they're already what do you call it Josh already it's a do or die thing tomorrow night Josh's news if he can

collect himself after all that information I'll do my back his news is coming up next The 93 X half-assed morning show. Hey podcast friends it's Dana here I'm a smart club member of standard heating and air condition I think you should join me. I don't mean to be that guy

but as minisones we know what season's coming up getting your furnace tune up before the cold weather hits is just smart. Right now, you can save $70 on a furnace tune-up or double-dip and save $140 if you add the AC tune-up as well. Scheduled by September 30th and use a code 93x to save. Standard heating and air conditioning providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Online at standardheating.com. Randy Shaver here, if you're dealing with a work-related injury and need someone to fight for you, then Dave Bialky's your guy. This is his specialty with over 30 years of experience in helping the working person get compensated.

for work-related injuries, even if your injury was years ago. Don't wait. Call Bianchi Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. You want Dave on your side. It's football season. On Polymarket trade your football predictions against other fans before and during the game.

You can even combine multiple trades with Polymarket combos. promo code WW CFB. New customers deposit $10 and get $50. $50 instantly to start trading. 18 plus. See Polymarket's terms of service for more information about restrictions and eligibility. The Polymarket app is an independent affiliate of Polymarket U.S. and not CFTC regulated. Trading always involves risk.

Complete loss can occur. The $50 offer is issued as not withdrawalable trading credit for use on the platform. Offer exclusively available to first-time depositors. Not available in all jurisdictions. Can I hump your leg for 15 uninterrupted seconds? The 93X half-assed morning show. It's a shame that I saw this happen. He just moved into the neighborhood and he's been renovating this house.

It's a shame. It's really awful if you've gone through a renovation and then you'd have this happen. Firefighters rushed to a Fort Lauderdale home Thursday morning after a crane attached to a truck decided the fastest way down was through the roof, leaving the kind of structural damage you'd expect when a crane knows dives into your living room. The crane that collapsed was actually called there to remove a different crane, one that had previously crashed through the same roof. Cruise, when they got here, they were able to report that a crane had fallen into a house

and cause significant amount of damage to the roof of the structure. So a one crane problem somehow became a two crane problem. That's never happened before. I can't imagine. I'm sure they're nervous. Like, do we bring in a third crane? No, no. What do we do?

The crane went through the roof and they brought another crane in to get the crane off the roof and then that crane went through the roof too. Yeah, the same crane's like, I got this. I'm here to save the day, but then this is what it sounded like. That's them filming crane number two. Oh, no. Double balls. Cruise had brought in that second truck mounted crane specifically to lift the first one out.

Instead, the crane buckled under the weight it was hoisting and came down on the house too, making it two embarrassing crashes for the price one. A neighbor said the homeowner had been in the middle of a remodel, and now that remodel just got a lot bigger than the budget originally allowed. Methodically will require them cutting the secondary crane because of the damage to that crane. they won't be able to retract that. Once that has been removed, then they'll focus on the initial crane incident in uprighting that crane. Cobby, can you tell us anything about the crane operators?

How are they doing? They're in hiding. Yeah. I mean, especially crane operator number two, who probably was excited about the opportunity to save the situation. Can you imagine if he was talking trash about the first one? Oh, yeah. What an idiot that guy is. Very, very likely.

And imagine a job interview where you're trying to get your next crane job. So tell me about your last employer. How did you do there? And I realized you've changed your name since you originally applied. A fire inspector and the city's building department say it's still unclear what brought down the first crane, but both have been called in to investigate and assess the damage. Neighbors suspect the recent rain may have made the ground unstable enough to tip it over. Turns out it was a rough week for cranes everywhere. That same day, up the coast in Rivervale, New Jersey, a crane that had been working safely above two homes,

ended up sitting on top of them instead. Investigators there said the ground beneath the tree company truck was mounted, that it was mounted on, simply gave out. Remarkably, no one was hurt in either incident. Yeah, I'll tell you what, that's a tough gig. Because when you F the dog behind the wheel of a crane, everybody's going to know about it. Yeah, I can imagine it's rarely minor when something happens. Tough gig.

The town of Clayton, North Carolina, had every reason to be proud. Two brand-new fire engines, nearly $950,000 each, rolled into service, that is, as the pride of the department's fleet. Monday afternoon marked the big debut, state-of-the-art, fresh off the line, ready to protect the town for years to come. Fire truck. That excitement lasted exactly three days. Thursday morning, around 6 a.m., one of those brand-new engines was responding to a medical call when the nearly million-dollar truck that was supposed to answer emergencies suddenly overturned and became one. Fire truck!

There's a certain irony to very expensive equipment showing up to handle an emergency, only to create another one. But like the crane stories, it wasn't a great week for heavy machinery. Three Clayton Fire Department personnel were aboard, when it happened. Remarkably, no one was injured and no one needed to be taken to the hospital. Small mercy in an otherwise crappy day in Clayton. The road stayed closed for about three hours while crews worked to clear the scene and police conducted their investigation. Meanwhile, the rest of the Clayton Fire Department stayed ready to answer calls and mutual aid department stood by in case backup was needed.

That sucks. They'll get a new one. They had like a parade. They're so excited about it. Look at this, only $950,000. No chance they're getting another crack at that. They're going to get a used fire truck now. A North Dakota driver with an unforgettable mugshot and possibly pre-gaming for the launch of Grand Theft Auto 6 is now facing attempted murder charges after plowing into multiple pedestrians,

another vehicle, and an apartment complex entrance before finally meeting his match with a tree. You can see his mugshot on 93X.com. Handsome? Unique. I wouldn't say handsome. All right, I got to look this pig up. There's someone for everybody.

Grand Forks Police started receiving frantic calls about 5.40 p.m. Wednesday regarding a reckless driver who had just struck a pedestrian. That driver was 26-year-old Ian Schnee Weiss. Schnee Weiss. Who mowed down a 72-year-old man walking outside the Silver Waters apartment complex. Now, I can't remember. Maybe it was Weiss. Schnee Weiss. Yeah, one of the two. The victim told investigators he was standing on the sidewalk near his building when a gray sedan came flying into the lot, sped off, but then circled back moments later and aimed directly at him.

His next memory was coming to in the back of an ambulance. I'm not too sure how many points the pedestrian scoreboard awards for hitting multiple people, but Schnee Weiss was clearly chasing a high score. A short time later and just a block away. A woman walking her dog spotted the same vehicle driving erratically. She watched as it peeled out of a nearby parking lot, crossed the street, hopped the curb, sped through the grass, and then struck her as she tried to sprint to safety. Running people over now, huh? Yeah. Police say he then turned his sights on a 24-year-old woman chasing her down with his sedan.

She leapt out of the way and hit a tree, which sounds shady. A bystander who happened to be a former police officer in military. veteran had Schneweiss at gunpoint after the wreck. He initially complied, dropping to his knees, but apparently decided he'd surrendered enough for one afternoon. He popped back up and took off on foot. But the getaway was short-lived. He ran out of breath just before officers arrived. He doesn't look like the greatest athlete. No, he doesn't. Police say he admitted to snorting math earlier that day and told officers he was hearing voices over the radio. I mean, technically, we all hear voices over the radio. Yeah. Which ordered him to run people over. Later interviewed by law

enforcement, he admitted to snorting meth that day. Sneweiss disclosed to the officers that the voices on the radio began speaking with him. Sneweiss stated that the radio would sound right when he was making good decisions and would sound wrong when he was thinking about making bad decisions. The victims suffered some real injuries in that assault, but thankfully all are expected to pull through. You mentioned his mungshot, and I took a look at Ian Schnee Weiss, his mugshot. Josh, he looks to me like he would play the role of Shaggy in a community theater rendition of Scooby-Doo. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, definitely.

Or, yeah, maybe a little bit of the Mad Magazine guy. A little bit of that. He looks like he's from the 70s, just generally speaking. I bet he was pretty bummed when he's, you know, you're just out there trying to hit a lady and then you run into a tree and just simply a vehicle. It's got to be a bummer. What kind of tree fits in your hand? Hmm. A palm tree.

A 19-year-old Indianapolis mothers facing charges after she blocked a school bus full of children, jumped out with a loaded gun, and gave 37 students a terrifying lesson in advanced overreaction and angry moron 101. September 16th, Jami. Sutton was driving her Kia K-4 on the east side of Indianapolis when she set a school bus pulled out in front of her, which caused her, she said, to clip a construction sign. And based on what she did next, the young mother took that personally. Furious and fresh out of reasonable responses, she followed the bus, and when it didn't stop, she pulled her car in front of it and parked, making it so the bus couldn't pass. The bus driver reported not even seeing Sutton's Kia until Sutton pulled up.

over in front of the bus all of a sudden. Now, she got upset because she felt that it was the school bus driver who was at fault. So she chased the bus down and blocked the bus in where the bus driver couldn't go no well. That little girl boy hopped out of her little kid, walked them to the bus with all them kids in it. Then the moody mother hopped out of her car, brandishing the handgun, waving it in the air and screaming for the driver to step outside. The bus driver wisely did not comply.

Sutton forced the doors open at that point and boarded the bus anyway, still brandishing the gun, still continuing. to scream, a scream, that is, and still flailing the weapon like a psychopath before retreating back to her own vehicle. Emergency responders answering a 911 call originally thought they were rolling up on just a basic traffic accident, but once cops got there, they spotted Sutton's vehicle blocking the road and realized no collision had actually occurred, just a Kia parked sideways in the road and a bus full of kids who'd gotten a real-world education in road rage. Sutton had music blasting when police pulled up.

And when an officer reached in to turn it down, that officer found a loaded handgun tucked under the driver's seat. She had a couple of guns. No, it was the gun. Oh. Yeah. Asked whether she threatened the bus driver. She admitted, yes, I'm armed, but insisted she, quote, didn't do anything with it.

Well, she sounds like a complete idiot. Yeah. Yeah, I would say so. Runs a little hot, that lady. A naked man was caught on video. riding an electric scooter through the streets of a Midwest City that, thankfully, isn't actually in the Midwest. Police in Midwest City, Oklahoma, alleged that 44-year-old Jason Wise, although Wise might not be the word most people would use here, scootered through the county

of states' subdivision just after midnight September 5th with its private parts on parade. A homeowner happened to be outside when Wise passed by, and she called cops immediately. Her home security camera caught the whole thing, genitals flat, in the breeze as he's cruised through the neighborhood, completely unabashed and certainly underdressed. Police tracked him down several blocks away and told him to stop. Instead, he took off and tried to hide. Body camp footage from the arrest shows the understandably less than thrilled officers asking him what on God's flat earth was going on. When a cop asked why he was naked, he offered up, I was bored. Handling boredom differently than the rest of us, he chose to disrobe and discuss the neighborhood.

What the hell are you doing, bro? Why are you naked? That's what I was finding, well, uh? Ford. So you're right around naked? No, I'm drunk. In case you couldn't hear it when a cop followed up with the ride around naked, he clarified, no, actually, I'm drunk. Where were all of his friends and his hot girlfriend?

He was on his way to see him. Oh. I'm sure they invited him over. Court documents gave us our missing peace to the evening's events. Police noted they detected a strong, of alcohol, so that part of his story was correct. Congratulations are in order for Twilight star Taylor Lautner and his wife, Taylor Lottner, who just welcomed their first baby, Taylor Lottner.

Yes. Is that a joke? Yes, I'm so glad they did that. Is that a joke? That is not a joke. There are two celebrities both named Taylor Lottner who are married? And just had a baby named Taylor Lottner. I'm so glad.

You guys were aware of this? Yeah, I knew that they were married and that they were expecting a kid and everybody was like, are they going to do it? Are they going to, and they did it? What do they both do for a living, Josh? This is new to me. Actors. The couple announced the pregnancy back in March with a post showing off ultrasound scans, joking, what's better than two Taylor Lottner's? The answer, it turns out, was a third Taylor-Lotner, sort of. The baby's first name isn't actually Taylor. It's Lenin, but her middle

names Taylor. Presumably, Taylor-made to keep the family's shared-name tradition alive, but still making introductions needlessly complicated. It's going to take all day for me to wrap my head around this. While Taylor and his wife share the same name, the new mom commonly goes by her nickname TAY to help cut down on the inevitable confusion. Taylor Lottner must have a thing for women with his name. Before marrying Tay, Lottner actually dated another famous Taylor, Taylor Swift.

They met while filming a movie in 2009. So congratulations to Taylor Lottner and Taylor Lottner for the baby Taylor Lodner. I always wanted a date of female Dana. Never really worked out. Is that true? Mm-hmm. Thought it would be fun.

I have my cousin Aaron wanted to marry an Aaron. Did she? That was kind of, you know, he's a he. Oh, okay. I think still, it's been a while since I talked to him. Sure. Yeah, yeah. The last time I talked to him was a he. Yeah, dude, I get it.

That'd be fun for a little bit, but then I'd be. I would get annoyed. I would get quickly annoyed, yeah. Are both of them legitimately named Lautner? Well, that's their last name. Oh, I had it in my head. This is why I was having such a hard time with this. I was having a hard time.

Pardon me, I'll get there. I was believing the entire time that they both came into the relationship named Taylor Lawton. No, they're married. F me running. My husband's parents are like that. They obviously don't have the same first name. But when they met, they both had the same last name. And I was like, you guys like, you know, make sure.

One more time with that? I didn't understand that. What? My husband's mom and dad. dad before they met and got married, they already had the same last name. Very, very common name. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Okay. F me. I was totally thrown. That would have, dude, that'd be crazy. Yeah. Next level. I mean, still is pretty nuts, but.

Of course, the Lautner's aren't the only family to get carried away with a naming theme. The late boxer George Foreman, famously named all five of his son's George, George, Jr., and George the 3rd, fourth, fifth, and six. He also named one of his seven. daughters, Georgetta. Foreman joke that... Yeah, I forgot to get that many kids. So what, 13 kids?

And he, and two of them were adopted. Two of his daughters were adopted. Oh. But yeah, he's got a Georgetta, and then he's got George Jr., and then the third, fourth, and fifth, and sixth. What a character he was. Foreman joked that after getting hit in the ring by fighters like Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier,

he couldn't remember many names, so he just decided to give him all the same one. He also said he wanted his sons to share. a lifelong bond, stating they go up or down together as a family. I mean, me and my brother are different names, and we have a lifelong bond, but, again, he did get hit in the head a lot. The LeBlanc family in Canada went in a slightly different direction. Eliza and Michael LeBlanc had 16 children, and every child's first name began with the letter

E. Guinness recognizes them as the record for the most siblings whose names begin with the same letter. And a Virginia couple, Carolyn Cousin and Cameron Butts have six kids with variations on the root name Cam. There's Camryn. Cameroon, Camryon, Carmen, Cam Ran, and Camerian. Come on. Oh, poor Camerian. Do something. Do something about that. That's just stupid. Camerian. Come on. They're running out. Camerian. They're running out. Camerian. They had no choice. Former Viking Case Keenham,

who started the season as the Bears' third-string quarterback, is expected to be the first-string quarterback tonight. Chicago hosts Jalen Hertz and the Philadelphia Eagles on Monday Night Football. By the way, it's 313 days until Jalen Hertz next birthday. He's got a ways now, huh? He does. Yeah, he's got to wait a little bit. And happy 52nd to smoking meats and clapping cheeks, Jesus.

That's 93X News. Randy Shaver and Brad Rydie. on the half-ass morning show. Murray going deep. What an adjustment. Wow. Into the end zone. Touchdown, Addison.

Jefferson was just, it was an ankle for him. He kept, you know, tried to work through it. He just couldn't quite get there. I know he was trying like crazy. And it was killing him not to get back out there. Troubled Vikings head coach, Calvin O'Con. Here they are. She's a Monday morning, so Randy Schaver and Brad Ryder are here.

Hello, boys. Good morning. Hey, good morning. We got plenty to cover here, so pay attention. We do. Plenty to come. The Minnesota Vikings won another mostly ugly ball game. Would you call that mostly ugly?

Yeah, I mean, it wasn't as clean as you would like it. And, you know, for a while there, I thought, oh, boy, they're going to blow this thing. But, no, they survived, and their special teams were incredible yesterday. That's probably the reason why they won the football game. Probably. Special teams in defense again. I mean, the offense, you're maybe going to get to this, but the offense didn't have a single snap inside the 20-yard line entire game.

I was unaware of that, Bradrider. They didn't have one single offensive snap inside the Tampa Bay 20, the whole game, but yet managed a score over 20 points and win the game. That's unbelievable. They're winning games in ways that a lot of teams don't win games. and again, you can't take that away from them, but I'm not sure it's sustainable. I saw this little nugget from Kevin Seaford from ESPN yesterday.

The Vikings have been outgained in yards this year by 244. It is the second worst differential by any 3-0 team in NFL history. The history. That's right. only after the 2020 Seattle Seahawks. So it's not like their offense is blowing people away. You're right, Brad.

They're not, but their defense and their special teams has been so good through the first three games that they are surviving. Yeah, the Vikings defense was they were up that quarterback's ass all day long. Bronco McGruber. What the hell is that quarterback's back? You got it. Yeah, you got

it right. That's close enough. They have the best kicker in the NFL right now, too. I mean, you could argue for sure. You know, and you don't have to cross, you don't have to cross a 40-yard line when the guy's making 56-yarders like they're, you know, nothing. 3-0 on the season, the Vikings beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 23 to 16. They had that punt return for a touchdown, 86 yards. You mentioned special teams.

There you go. You mentioned the kicking game, of course, was strong. A little Willie Riker hit a 56-yard field. he's made 26 consecutive field goals now dating back to last season. The defense was up Bronco McGruber's ass. We mentioned that. Oh, oh, Justin Jefferson was lost due to some type of an ankle issue. So where do we set with that?

Anybody know? I don't have an update this morning. It didn't look super serious. He walked off the field. He was walking on the sidelines. He was trying to get back. So it doesn't feel like it's a, a massive injury that's going to keep him out, but you never know with ankles.

I don't know if you guys have noticed this, but sometimes they might baby those star players a little bit when it comes to injury. Yeah, but he's one of those guys that I think he likes to, he'll play through anything. I don't, I don't buy that with him. I think he, if he can play, he's going to play. Well, yeah, but I think you can make that argument. Yeah, go ahead. If your team isn't winning, I think if you, your team is winning, that adds a little bit more fuel to want to get back out there, too.

Yeah. What else is going on? I mean, it was just, again, not the prettiest thing you ever saw in your life, but they're undefeated. And we get the fish next, which is great. Miami comes to town here next Sunday. So here we go. Week three, week one, they defeated the Green Bay Packers in comeback fashion, I guess you'd call it. and I asked Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder,

are you fiked? And the both he is... You said no. Yeah. Last week, you know, God rest the soul of Caleb Williams. Caleb Williams dies on the field. They beat the Bears, rainy, ugly, miserable 9 to 3. I asked you boys, okay, they're 2 and 0 now.

I asked you then, are you pumped? both of you said no. So now they beat up the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Defense special teams was lights out. So let me ask you now, after three wins in a row, are you stoked? No. I'm starting to warm up. Brad Reader is not stoked.

Randy Shaver says he is warming up to the idea of being stoked. I mean, I think the Packers are not as good as we. thought they might be after they got shellacked by Atlanta at home. The bears are still going to be there at the end. I mean, once Caleb comes back, I think they're going to be okay. But this division is maybe not as treacherous as maybe we thought when the season started. Detroit can still score a lot of points. They can, but they give up a lot of points too.

They won their ballgame yesterday over the New York Jets. That's kind of the team. I think that could get hot a little bit at some point in the season. They certainly have the offensive talent to beat anybody. The problem is as the season rolls along and injuries pile up, Detroit usually has a tough time stopping people. That's their issue. Oh, one more question I wanted to ask.

What did you make of a full game out of Kyler Murrah for the first time since we acquired the kid? Underperformed, I thought, rusty looking. certainly has the ability to get out of trouble with his feet, which I think is good. He puts a lot of air under the football, doesn't he? Yeah, I think if you're going to ask, if you're going to ask me why I'm not psyched yet,

to put it in your word, stoked, sorry. I think I need to see more out of that before I will. Sometimes he just kind of throws it straight up in the air, doesn't he? I think he has to. Yeah, he has because of his height. Well, and Jefferson didn't play a vast majority of that game. So not seeing the two of them together. I think Addison certainly stepped up, played a great game.

Aaron Jones is running the ball really well. Their offensive line is doing a nice job of allowing them to run the football, which helps a lot. But I just thought he was like just, you know, rusty. He looked rusty to me. He's funny looking out there. Now, a few people have texted in wondering if they get to hear a ukulele victory song. I slept in this morning and I forgot to bring my ukulele. But I bet you Josh will play the saxophone for you if you give them a couple of minutes.

Oh, please do, Josh. I could do that. Skull. Keep banging that same note. We always want music when the Vikings get a win. I slept in and forgot my ukulele. What else happened yesterday? In honor of Denny Green, we should do that every time the Vikings win.

Exactly. I'm looking through yesterday's scores from the National Football League. Boy, the Jacksonville Jaguars, they put the whoop down on the New England Patriots, 35 to 6. That tougher schedule for New England is going to bite them in the middle. They are going to get beat up this year, and Drake May is going to get somewhat exposed, I think, this year. It could look like you wanted to cry on the sideline. Yeah. Dana, I think your bills have clinched the AFC East already. They're pretty bad. Everybody lost yesterday in the division besides Buffalo.

I will say this. The biggest surprise of the season has to be the Raiders. They're three and no. And granted, they haven't played the Broncos or the Chiefs or anybody like that. But when you consider they won three games all of last year, and they're already three and O under Captain Death Rocks, that's amazing. That surprises me and the fact that Texans are now zero and three. What if the year after Sam Darry was?

Arnold wins the Super Bowl. Kirk Cousins win a Super Bowl for the Raiders. Long way to go, but it would be hilarious. And Cleveland's two and won. And a lot of people thought Deshawn Watson was toast. Oh, this is going to be the comeback player of the year, Deshaun Walker. He might be. He might be.

I still can't get over that stat that we read about the Raiders a couple of weeks ago, where they're the first team in NFL history where their top two quarterbacks are both virgins. Oh, my God. Tonight, Philadelphia plays at Chicago. So there's a new movie coming out about the life of former NFL coach and play-by-playman John Madden. I think November 18th you can go ahead and watch this movie. I think it's simply called Madden. It's going to be on something called Prime Video.

So you got some time yet before you can see this pig. The Life and Times of John Madden. Nicholas Cage plays Madden in the movie. And everybody who's seen it says Cage totally sucks as John Madden and they hate it. Well, the voice is not good. It doesn't sound anything like him. I mean, that's the main criticism. John Matton.

Madden Football. You only have seven men on a team, and I'm out. Here's my playbook. Every play I ever coached, every play I ever drew, let's get the work. What is that? Yeah, that sounds awful. Yeah, that's why it's getting so much crap.

And I can't imagine that they made him look like him either. because there's not a lot of resemblance. No, I don't remember now. I saw the video clip. I don't remember if he resembled Madden. A little bit. A little. I mean...

Do we know? Did the family, like, give their consent? No clue. I don't know. Okay, wow. Yeah, folks are saying this is just awful. Yeah, I'm not going to watch that. A lot of people were saying,

after they saw the clip or the movie in its entirety, you know inside industry people have seen it already and they say was this supposed to be a comedy what was this supposed to be so not only do they say nicholas cage blows as john madden they're saying they don't even understand really where they were going with this was it sarcastic was it so i guess it's a true garbage pile i get you know don't judge it see for yourself but a lot of people are saying this is a total nightmare most folks are wondering why that frank calliando is that his name calliando yes oh yeah the comedian why didn't he get the gig. He made a name for himself, imitating John Madden. Now, here's, I guess, the reasoning behind that. Frank Calliando was interviewed, and he's a little tired of everyone busting his balls saying, how come you didn't get the gig, how come you didn't get the gig, how come you, and he said, look, I'm never going to get a roll over Nicholas Cage. Pull your head out of your ass. He's tired of hearing about it. And I don't know if this was common knowledge, Cubby. Did you ever hear this

before. John Madden hated Frank Calliendo's impression so much. He considered suing the guy. Yeah, I think Franks talked about that in the past. It's too bad because he was so good at, or is so good at it. So I'll try it out. I'll try this movie out in a month and a half whenever it comes out. Nicholas Cage is certainly a unique individual. He is one of the most bizarre individuals Hollywood has ever known, and that's saying quite a bit. I've watched some Nicholas Cage movies where I couldn't even believe it was real.

It was so bad. And that's kind of similar to what they're saying about the Madden movie. But then you go back to one of the greatest comedies ever made, Raising Arizona. He was strictly full-on, four-alarm, brilliant in that movie. And then you go to the drinking movie.

What was that party movie he made? Leaving Las Vegas. Leaving Las Vegas. It was a good time. party movie called Leaving Lus. Very happy ending. Talk about it's just either great or terrible with him. November 18th.

All right. PJ Fleck is covered in the blood of the young people. What is happening? That was concerning. I mean, he's inspired my Halloween outfit, but outside of that, that is bizarre. I think it's cute. You called it Halloween outfit. Costume.

Nicholas Cage could play PJ Fleck in his movie. There was the game where we beat Washington and I covered my face in the blood of one of my... That's my imitation of Nicholas Cage's imitation of PJ Fletch. Was it pretty spot on, wasn't it, John? Sounds just like it. Sounds just like PJ. What the F. was PJ Fleck doing out there with the blood smearing? Does he practice black magic?

What is he doing out there? There's no words for this. Oh, my God. The definition of blood. sweat and tears. It's 1.30 in the morning in Minnesota. And P.J. Fleck has gone insane after his team defeats Washington. He had the new guy in the corner puking his guts out.

So if you're unfamiliar with what we're talking about, Golden Gopher football team played that absolutely ridiculous late-night game Saturday night against the University of Washington, and they won. A couple of touchdown passes thrown by that kid and this and that. They got the win on the road. As the game came to an end, PJ Fleck is bouncing around the sideline,

like he's got a bottle rocket up his ass. You know how he gets when he gets excited. Oh, yeah. One of his players, Maverick Barronowski, came to the sideline, and Barronowski's bleeding out his mouth. Well, PJ took one of his free hands, and he grabbed up some of Barronowski's blood

and then smeared it on his own face. And like the announcer said, this game ended at 1.30 in the morning local time, so there's a chance. Some of you are unaware of this. The internet was quite active with this story, but just in case you haven't spotted it, it is on 93X.com.

I love PJ Fleck. I do. But this was just straight out bananas, what he did. Gross. Yeah, that was sick. I don't think he obviously planned that. He just kind of, I think in the moment, just kind of. Well, yeah.

Of course it was in the moment. He lost himself a little bit. Yeah, yeah. I'll give him some slack. I just, you know, it's a big win for the program. I guess so. He proved it. I guess so.

If you are going to smear the blood of one of your players on your face, it better be a big win. If this was non-conference, we'd be putting him in a straight jacket right now. Yeah. What a character. Yeah. And then I like this part.

After the game, he compared himself to the frontiersmen of the Old West. In what way? The story was apparently he was showing videos and telling stories all week leading up to that game about that to the team. That was, I watched the game and the broadcasters were talking about that too. After the game, he said, back in the day. I'm sure that's what they did, the frontiersman out west. They did a lot of things differently back in the day. Cubby, it was blood.

It was. It was gross. After the game, a Golden Gopher wide receiver named Javan Tracy was asked about this, and he said, well, I would never do that. But PJ, like, he crazy. one of the weirdest things I've ever seen in a football field in my lifetime. Yeah, yeah. I'm a PJ guy. I always have been, I always will be.

I think you get Michigan next too, so. That's going to be a big deal. Correct. I mentioned that, you know, my wife and I are Golden Gopher supporters, especially the basketball program. We love to watch the Golden Gopher football. And we were planning on going to a game maybe this year. My wife said she ain't going now.

She's too creeped out by PJ. Too dangerous. She thinks that he's going to wipe her blood on his face or what? I don't think she'd go that far, but she doesn't feel safe around him anymore. Yes, you're right. Next up, they play here at home against those sleazy, crooked, shady bastards from the University of Michigan. And someone told me, are they hosting the big thing here? What do they call that again?

The big Fox game day? Big Fox kickoff or whatever. It's the Fox National game. Big noon Saturday. Yeah. Yep. Kind of like what they did a few years. What's the show with the college game days of the big one?

That's the ESPN one. It's not that one. This one's on Fox. It's not college game day. It's the other one. Yes. Okay. And they'll be hosting their show live from the U of M and everyone going Buck Wild and all that.

Okay. That's great. That's great. And I guarantee they will show. show plenty of video of PJ Fleck on that show. They'll show plenty of video of PJ covered in the blood of his players. Oh, I look forward to the memes. They're probably already out there, I guess.

Oh, hell of you. I haven't seen it. I haven't looked at your exact. Josh, this story's not going anywhere for quite a way. Lister texted in, Floor Magician Jesus texted in and he said, wait till you see what he does when a player craps himself. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, man. But they got that big win. You know, the one thing I will say about, I watched the game, and I was kind of reminded of this.

The one thing I will say about him, there aren't many coaches that game managed the clock when they have the lead better than he does, or better than they do. They take the play clock all the way down to one every time, you know, they run the ball, they run the clock. And if you to watch that game, I'm not sure they win that game if he doesn't do that the last half of the fourth quarter the way he did. I hear you. The Golden Gophers, PJ likes the game to be slower than the second coming of Christ. Yes, yes. And by the way, speaking of the sleazy crooked University of Michigan, the Iwoeans beat them on a walk-off touchdown over the weekend.

Oh, that was beautiful. That was beautiful. Incredible drive by Iowa to finish that game. The student section in the end zone, just seeing their faces all sink was just beautiful. You know what that's called? That's called karma. Because that happened in the same end zone that the Western Michigan game ended in. You're right.

It is always fun to watch the University of Michigan step on their own penises. This is something we talked about earlier when we were discussing P.J. Fleck losing his ever-loving mind Saturday night. What are some of the diseases you can catch by smearing the blood of another person all over your face? AIDS would be a scary one. Can you get hepatitis that way? It sounds right to me. Sure. Sounds like I bet you PJ will have a thermometer in his mouth by this afternoon. Probably.

Yeah, over at the doctor's office. All right, back to college football. The University of Texas is what I was trying to say. The University of Texas played the University of Tennessee over the weekend. A Texas player was flagged for simulating urination on the field. Now, this is an edge rusher by the name of Colin Simmons. and I did watch a little bit of that football game and this Colin Simmons guy looks like

a real serious ball player. He was outstanding from what I saw from the ball. So this Simmons guy, he sacked Tennessee quarterback phazon Brandon and then he got up. He pretended that he had his pecker in his hand and acted like he was spraying pee all over the field. It was damn near the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

It's never been done. before that I can think of. He got a 15-yard penalty for unsportsman-like conduct for that. If you hear the referees call on the mic, the referee had to explain this call, and he said he was simulating that he was using the restroom. I saw the referee. And you know what was great about it was after the ref through the flag, this Simmons kid knew exactly what that.

flag was about, but he still kind of had his hands in the ears if he was saying, you know, what did I do? For what? Kirk Herb Street, who was calling the game, called it idiotic, and it was. It was so obvious what he was doing. I don't get it sometimes. I don't get it. There's a lot of things you can do. You know what a friend of mine used to do when he was a high school football player, when he would make a big tackle, you know, so he's on his hands and knees, he would lift one of his legs like a dog. He would simulate that he was urinating on the football.

This was a little more. It was like, Josh was like he pulled it out of his pants and was having trouble controlling it. Yeah, it was all over the place. Like a fire hose that got dropped and it's just spraying. I believe that's on 93X.com. Ah, yes it is. The biggest game of the college football weekend, nationally televised.

That's where this kid decides to do his urination bit. He knew what he was doing. Oh, of course he did. I mean, he knew he was going to get all the attention for it. Oh, oh, you mean that type of he knew what he was doing? Yes. Oh, of course. The twins did what we asked of them over the weekend.

They were dicks about it. Yes. And they beat the Texas Rangers two out of three games to help eliminate them from the playoff. So the twins' regular season is over. And they did all right. They overshot the hell out of most folks' expectations. I remember very clearly you boys were expecting absolute disaster. In the end, they finished 77 and 85, third place in the American League Central Division.

And we've discussed it a couple times already. The young fellas that jumped into the mix show a lot of promise. Hopefully a little bit of this and a little bit of that is added to the mix and they get even better next season. I hope they re-signed Josh Bell. That's my number one thing that I hope that they do is re-signed Josh Bell. And they address some bullpen issues. Those are the two big things, I think. Yeah, that's a given.

And I think Dean Kremmer will be a nice addition to the rotation next year. Lopez will be back. Hopefully Joe Ryan will get things figured out. They saw what pre-lip can do. Zebi Matthews was good. You know, Tage Bradley had a great year. There's a lot of reasons to get excited. You know, Jenkins in the outfield, Kishall,

Cole Pepper, at shortstop. I mean, they've got some pieces that make you look at that team and say, okay, I can see the future. I can see what that looks like. I want to thank the Polad family for a great baseball season. Playoffs start tomorrow. And here's how it is scheduled for tomorrow.

These are all best of three wild card series. Philadelphia will be playing at Atlanta. And the Phillies had to wait until the final day to get their asses into the mix. The Chicago White Sox will be playing at Houston, who edged out Texas for that division title. Finished 500. Yes, they did. They won the division with a 500 record. The Chicago Cubs will be playing a series against the San Diego Padres.

And that series starts in California. And the other of the four wildcard series are the taking on the. It starts tomorrow. And the thing about the Red Sox of the Yankees, the winner has to play the number one seat. You mispronounce their name. They have to do what? The winner has to play the number one seed in the American League, and that's Tampa. So that's the road for them to get to the World Series is going to be extremely difficult.

Right. We forgot to mention, I should have mentioned, the top two seeds in each division, not division, but league. The top two teams in each league get to rest. and that would be in the American League, Tampa Bay in Cleveland, and in the National League, it's the Brewers and the Stinkin' Go ahead. I forgot. The Dodgers. All these games, too, series start at the same time every day this week,

and they're the same days, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, all the Braves-Filly's game starts at one every day. Sox, Astros starts at four every day. And the P-S is the primetime series. and then the Cubs and the Pagers are the late night game. You need to work on your... Sorry. It wasn't very pronounced.

Speaking of the Chicago Cubs, before their home finale against the Miami Marlins last Thursday, Cubs outfielder Ian Hap. Ian Hap is the name. He wrapped a signed baseball in $300 cash, and he tossed it into the left field bleachers to say thanks to the fans,

and he shouted, Beers on me! $300. So they were able to buy five or six beers. I was about to say two or three. He tossed 300 bucks and a baseball into the stands. Now, if you're wondering who's he and happen, why is that significant? He's been with the club for 10 years.

He's set to enter free agency this offseason, so it's possible that last Thursday was the final regular season home game. He'll play as a cub. Yeah. And it's a bit he's done at the end of the season for a few years now. All-timer Justin Verlander through his last big league game Saturday for the Detroit Tigers. Hell, even Flopsie was there to see it.

It was so much fun. Did you watch the video? Did you see that? No. Oh, you should see this, Nick. I'm telling you, I've watched it now about 20 times. His daughter runs out under the field to help him walk off the field for the last time.

it was really well done the way the Tigers did that. It was all scripted. He has climbed the staircase. He is not going to the mound. He's going to get Justin Verlander's daughter, Genevieve. The crowd dumped a standing ovation on him. He first debuted for the Tigers in the year of 2005. He played here.

He played there. Three-time Salyung Award winner, won an MVP, two-time World Series champion. Now he best get to writing up that Hall of Fame speech. He is going to be a first ballot, and so is Max Scherzer. I think yesterday was his last game, likely. Just a few numbers on those guys. Verlander finishes with 266 career wins, 3560 strikeouts.

Max Scher, 224 career wins, three strikeouts behind Verlander at 3,557. There's nobody else close to those two guys. Now, Chris Sale is kind of in the ballpark a little bit. But Garrett Cole and Chris Sale are the next two guys that possibly could get to 200 wins and maybe be considered a Hall of Fame ready. But for sure, Verlander and Scherzer are going to be the next two guys. I thought this was a cute fact that Verlander was the last active player who can say they played in the Metrodome. Yeah, I saw that as well. Is that true? Yep.

Yeah, I was going to bring that up today, too. You're right. Dumped on the left-field line. It'll tie the game right on the heels of span. Here comes Cabrero and the Twins take the lead. Cabrero with a huge jump at second base. And the little flare drives in two and the twins take the lead. And Berlander can only smirk at his misfortune of pitching indoors in Minnesota.

Was that like his last game at the dome? It was his last pitch before he got taken out in his last game at the dome. Oh. That was a very cool moment, but I think it would have been kind of hilarious if the Pirates manager comes out and tries to get a delay of game called for all the theatrics with his daughter running out. Like, hey, come on, let's move it on, guys. Let's move it on.

Pirates aren't going anywhere either, though. No. Someone texted in and said that Andrew McCutcheon is now the only active player that played at the dome. He probably played in the mirror. I saw the same note that Dana did, though. I don't care one way or the other.

I'm just, yeah. So yeah, they got the waterworks going and everything. The Lynx lost their first playoff game yesterday. They're in trouble. Yeah, they are. They got outscored by 20 in the second half at home. Number one seed in the

playoff. It's a best of three, so they're already at a do-or-die type of a deal. which will be tomorrow night. The links will play the, is it New York Liberties? Yeah. New York Liberty. They lost yesterday by a pile of points. They got stomped by this Brianna Stewart, 34 points, this and that. They're in trouble right from the get-go. Yep. Oh, I have some WNBA end-of-season accolades to pass around. Aja Wilson is the player of the year, most valuable player, whatever you want to call her. This is the third straight season. She's the year. MVP, I'll be damned. Fourth time overall.

Okay. Olivia Miles, the rookie for the links, was in the mix for that MVP award. She missed out, but she did win rookie of the year, and everyone knew she was going to win rookie of the year. Cheryl Reeve is the coach of the year. Who am I missing? Wah, Wah, Wewa, my girlfriend, Angel Reese, defensive player of the year. And there you go.

Olivia Miles, as we discussed a couple weeks ago, set the WNBA record for point. by a rookie. But none of that will matter if they can't get out of the first round. Yeah, those will kind of ring hollow if you don't get out of there. They were the dominant team in the WMBA basically all season, too. Oh, all right, the cop beat the criminal in that UFC fight we were talking about last week. Last week we talked about a Miami-Dade sheriff's deputy is how you say it, by the name of Luis Hernandez.

He got a contract in the UFC. And they made it interesting. They paired him up with a guy named Dumbass, who was a career criminal. And I watched the video, this Hernandez guy, was in trouble. Dumbass caught him in the jaw, and he was, he was wobbly there for a while, but that he did this and that, and he choked out, dumbass.

So everyone was losing their minds over that. I don't know if you guys still care, but the cop beat the criminal. I was glad to see that. Yeah. Did you see how he got? He took one on the yap. Yeah, looked like it was over for a second. Knocked that mustache right off his face, but then they got him into the rear naked choke

and the double anaconda squeeze, and the guy's lights went out. Speaking of combat sports, we were very, very sad to learn that another television rassler has died very young. and that would be Benjamin Satterley, who you might have known in the AAE and the AEW as PAC or Neville or Adrian Neville or at one point or another he was just known as the bastard. At only 40 years old, he's gone. He was performing for all elite wrestling just this past weekend, Saturday night.

He defeated Andrade El Iridilo. Defeated Andrade for the AEW National Championship. Oh, pardon me, he lost the match. And yesterday he died. No explanation as to why or how. But this dude was absolutely one of the best I've ever seen. he was unbelievable with the high flyer stuff, unbelievable with the risk taking. I mentioned earlier, put him in a match when he would wrestle with Ray Phoenix.

Ray Phoenix is the greatest athlete in the world today. There's no one in baseball, basketball, football, hockey. I don't care who it is. There's no one who can do what Ray Phoenix does. When you would put Pack, Neville, whatever you want to call them, against Ray Phoenix, if you're not familiar, watch a couple of their matches. You will not believe what these guys were capable of. how and why he's dead at 40 years old, we don't know.

But it just keeps going on and on, doesn't it, Cubby? Yeah, these guys go way too young. I just looked it up again and so far nothing. They haven't said what happened. He had a great nickname, too. The man that gravity forgot. Oh, geez. It's just such a damn shame.

This guy was incredible. Sad to hear about that. All right, with everything going on, Baseball, football, this, that. It's been a couple of days, and we just haven't had the opportunity to talk about this. I wanted to find out what you guys make of this youth hockey player. I'm assuming everyone's seen the video by now,

the youth hockey player in Massachusetts, 11, 12-year-old kid who violently slashed another kid upside the head with his stick? Yeah, that wasn't good. No, haven't seen it yet. Well, I'm surprised by that. I thought that this was everywhere. Covey, have you seen the video? Yeah, you posted that, didn't you, Ashley?

Yep, last week. I wanted to see what you guys made of it. The kid was suspended. This was a peewee hockey game in Massachusetts a handful of days ago. You know, 11, 12-year-old kids. Kid made a running start at an opponent, and I mean, he gave it everything he had with a vicious slash across the head and neck of this other kid.

The kid who got smoked is okay. But, I mean, the internet was going crazy over this. Just spend this kid for life, charge him with a crime. Let's go after his parents. You guys know how social media gets. So, Randy, you, I'm not familiar?

I'm just now looking at it. I don't, I have not seen the, I have not seen this. Okay. I'm looking for it too. All right. I mean, when I saw it, the first thing I thought was, well, I'm maybe not the best one to judge. Because I did stuff like that when I was a kid on the ice. I got hit like that once, too.

I got hit like that once. Pretty much exactly the same. And it, it dummied me down. I mean, I almost lost consciousness altogether. I just absolutely crushed this kid into the glass. And it was kind of a cheap shot that I delivered too. I'm chasing him down the ice and he's going to crack the puck down into the offensive zone with a slap shot. And I waited until he had followed through on that slap shot.

So all of his weight was on one foot. And I just absolutely murdered this kid upside down and backwards into the glass. I mean, I really skated away kind of afraid. to even look back. I thought I must have broken this kid's arm, neck, something, right? I looked back and he was beginning to get to his feet. And so I started skating to the bench. Time for a line change.

And the dude responded with a whack totally identical to what happened in this pee-wee game. And like I said, I about fell asleep right there on my feet. If I'm looking at the same video you're talking about, The kid took, I mean, the slash was by his head too, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't just walk up to him and slash him in the knee.

No, no, no. This was upside the head. Yeah. Wow. That's pretty bad. Here's a listener who says the kid needs to be banned from youth hockey for life. Lifetime ban from U.S. hockey, another listener says. Yeah, I don't blame you for saying that.

It was nasty. It was nasty. Maybe, I don't know, maybe some therapy, something. therapy you think, huh? I don't know. Go a different route before you take away like the one thing. He probably like. Anchor management maybe. Really likes, you know.

I don't know. I wonder if I could have benefited from something like that because I was a, I was an insane out of control, very violent player as well. You know, I told you the story when I broke that kid's arm. It was just terrible. I regret the hell out of that. Yeah, I mean, he's probably, they're just kids. So he's probably angry about something.

He's angry about something. At his home life or maybe his dad's teaching him. that's how you play hockey. I don't put it all on the kid. It's never really about the person you're after more times than not. It's something internal that leads you to do that. Oh, I absolutely took out all of my aggressions out there. It had nothing to do with the game.

It had nothing to do with the guys I was playing against. It was absolutely 100%. Everything that pissed me off that week, I'm taking it out on strangers. So there you go. All right. So some of you have seen it, some of you have not. I guess I don't have a final answer if that hockey board has made a decision yet. Does anyone know any more than I do?

I haven't heard anything. Okay. No. People are asking, did the kid have it coming? No, no. Yeah, we got to see the whole game. What led up to that? I don't know.

Maybe he was saying some hurtful things. You never know. All right, we'll let you boys go. Thanks, Randy and Brad Rider. You bet. Talk to you soon enough. We'll return with some more here on the program in just a few months. minute.

The 93X half-assed morning show. Hey, podcast friends. It's Dana here. I'm a smart club member of standard heating and air conditioning. I think you should join me. I don't mean to be that guy, but as Minnesones, we know what season's coming up. Getting your furnace tune up before the cold weather hits is just smart. Right now, you can save $70 on a furnace tune-up or double-dip and save $140 if you

add the AC tune-up as well. Scheduled by September 30th and use a code 93X to save. Standard heating and air conditioning, providing the comfort you deserve. since 1930. Online at standard heating.com. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver

here with the answer. Dave Bialki. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-L-K-E-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-L-K-E-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-.

and it spells relief for you. It's football season. On Polymarket trade your football predictions against other fans before and during the game. You can even combine multiple trades with Polymarket combos. Promocode WWCFB. New customers deposit $10 and get $50

instantly to start trading. 18 plus. See Polymarkets terms of service for more information about restrictions and eligibility. The Polymarket app is an independent affiliate of Polymarket U.S. and not CFTC regulated. Trading always involves risks. Complete loss can occur. The $50 offer is issued as not withdrawalable trading

credit for use on the platform. Offer exclusively available to first-time depositors. Not available in all jurisdictions. The Half-Ast morning show. Minnesota's. 93X! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shouting out loud like that.

It's only Monday. You bastards are up against it, by God. You got a long ways to go. It's only Monday. And we're right there with you. Welcome back to the 93X Half-Ass Morning Show. You know who's having an even more difficult time than the rest of us, Josh? Who that?

Not just today. But air day. You know who's having a tough time? The hot people. You do feel for them. I mean, they got to work for everything in life. Scorching hot people have stepped up onto the godless, soulless, evil, and wildly misinformed social media. They've stepped up again to tell us gargoyles.

That living life as a missile isn't all that it's cracked up to be. How do you do it? You seem to be living La Vita Loca. I just try to stay humble. That's all. Ain't easy to do when you look like that, I bet. Try to stay humble. You want to hear what the foxy people they're dealing with?

And it's every day. Let me just try to imagine that. The hot people say it's difficult for them to make friends. I mean, if you go back to high school and you think about all the super popular kids and how ugly they were, it definitely rings true. Man, isn't that the truth? All the popular kids were hideous. Look at that valedictorian. Oh, yuck! The prom queen, icky. Yuck, ish. The hot people say it's hard to make friends.

Here's why. Other folks, again, regular, more. gargoyles like ourselves, we assume that hot people are arrogant or stuck up before we even have a conversation with them. They feel like potential friends see them as competition or purely as an ornament rather than a person. I'm trying to, I don't, I don't believe I look

at an attractive person as they're arrogant. I mean, maybe if they're dressed a certain way or they kind of carry themselves a certain way, No, I try my best not to, what's the old saying, judge a book by its cover, right? One of the coolest people I've ever known is also one of the best-looking people on the planet. On the planet? On the entire planet. Actually, you know what?

Throw in other planets if you want. Who the hell is this? Guy, former sales guy from back in the day. When I first started here, he only worked here for about a year or so. But he was the big tall guy who played college basketball? No, no, different guy. think he ever played a sport. Well, write his name down.

I'm interested in finding out who this guy is that we used to work with that you consider one of the hottest people on multiple planets. Yeah, and I used to hang out with him quite a bit, and he was like the perfect wingman, because he would attract all the women. You treated him like an ornament. I did. You used him. I hated his guts.

He was so attracted. You went out with him because he was good looking, didn't you? That's not why. You went out with him because he would get you attention. No, not at all. I mean, that's just a side benefit we learned from going out with him. Write his name down. Do what I know him?

I don't remember ever working with someone that was that hot. Yeah, the Foxy people, they have their own set of problems. So first off, it's difficult to make friends. Difficult to make real friends. The hot people are tired of the unwanted attention, tired of the staring. It is, they say, exhausting, constantly stared at in public, the cat calling, the unwanted flirtation, draining is another word that they use.

This guy must have a really long name. It took you a while. I was making other notes about him. You, cold-blooded son of a bitch, you. Why? You used this individual because he was hot. I did not. You used him to go out and put him.

public is it would gain you more attention. That's not true at all. And in the note you just wrote me, you can't even remember his name. Well, I couldn't remember if it was Brett or Brent. This is 30 years ago. And he worked here for a year. I just couldn't remember Brett or Brent. I don't remember Brett or Brent.

Yeah, he was, maybe we wasn't here too long. Maybe with our differings, different schedules, maybe I never met Brett or Brent. Yeah, I was, I started in promotions. So this would have been like October of 96. and he maybe worked here until February of 97.

You were usually here then in the afternoons and evenings. You want to know what I was doing in the afternoons and evenings? I was on the morning program. You want to know what I was doing. Was it my girlfriend? I was banging your girlfriend. Oh, no. Gotcha.

He was banging my girlfriend. I got you. Is it your car? I used to drive by and see in her driveway later? My car. That was my car. Because you were banging my girlfriend. That's an inside radio story there too, also a guy that we used to work with.

he claimed that any time Josh and I, whenever our backs return, he was banging our girlfriend. Oh, no. What? I wasn't using Brett and or Brent. He was using me. Park and wrecked Jesus said I was his ugly friend that made him look out of her. Oh, yeah.

Went both ways. I never even considered that. Now I'm heartbroken. It's a real thing. That's a real thing. it's a real thing. Duff, right? Is that what the Duff?

Yep. Designated ugly friend or fat friend or what is it? Designated ugly fat friend. Well, I didn't know that was... That's mean, by the way. I knew it was a thing. I knew it was a thing. I didn't know it had a name.

Absolutely some people. In a movie. Pardon me? In a movie. It's called the Duff. That actually wasn't a bad movie. No, it was pretty good. A fictional beer on a cartoon.

Duffman. Absolutely, it's a real thing that some people will try to align themselves with gorgeous friends to try and, you know, get a glimpse into how the other half lives and maybe drag some noggin out of the situation. Not from the hot friend, but maybe sometimes from the hot friend, but usually from someone the hot friend might attract. Absolutely also a real thing for someone, how did I say it, Josh, average to above average looking, to maybe hang out with a couple of hideous individuals to

ogos. Oh, goes. Chinks. Whatever you want to. All right, let's see here. We're talking about the hot people. The hot people are complaining on social media about

how tough it is to lead their life. Park and wrecked Jesus, you ruined me, by the way. Bring that up because I bet you're right. I was the yugo. Yeah, I suppose that's very possible. So it's hard for them to make friends the hot people, the missiles.

They get a lot of unwanted attention, staring. They also complain that people don't take them seriously. A big complaint is that pretty privilege is a double-edged sword. While good looks might open some doors initially, people often assume that they're dumb as a box of rocks. So it's tough to be respected in a professional setting. Sure, I can understand that. I've heard people say that.

Yeah, but they're probably stupid, they'd say. This dude was pretty hot, huh? Yeah. Super nice downtown apartment, too. Making some pretty good money somewhere. Not here, probably. He must have been smart as well. He only stuck around here for a year.

Other ridiculously gorgeous people say dating is also a real problem. finding genuine romantic connections. That's because partners treat them like a trophy prize, or they always assume that the hot ones will cheat. So the hot people say, sure, I got a girlfriend or a boyfriend, but they're always suspecting me of cheating. They're very jealous because I'm so friggin' hot.

They assume I can have anybody that I'm. want. All right. I believe that one. Now, the social media crowd wasn't terribly sympathetic to the hot people. They kind of lit them up.

Instead, this is all just a tornado of humble brags and that they should grow a pair and go F themselves. Stop complaining about playing life on easy mode. is what the social media crowd told the hot people. That's a funny line.

I mean, sometimes you hear that of folks who complain about being rich, right? And it would be frustrating. You don't know who your real friends are. But you don't get a lot of sympathy from, you know, when someone who's got a lot of credit card debt, three jobs just trying to make it. Yeah, I don't need friends if I'm rich. Yeah, screw you guys.

I'd be okay not knowing the motivations if I was rich. I'll be damned. so don't be thinking the next time you see some just lava hot mammal out at the bar, out at the club, out at the ball game. Don't assume that they're just cartwheeling through life

just crapping happiness at every turn. It ain't easy, Cubby. Next time you see somebody really good looking and you just go up and say, I'm really sorry for what you're going through right now. must be difficult for you. I think that would be nice. Yeah.

They might appreciate it. Mm-hmm. I think that would be nice. All right. Well, for anyone who's troubled slightly, for whatever reason, apparently there is somewhere to turn. It's nothing new. I think we've talked about this a time or two.

But folks, when they're feeling a little stressed, a little down, a little troubled, They are turning more and more now. So, like I said, this is nothing new, but it's apparently gaining steam. More and more people are watching something called ASMR videos. That was really big for a while. Well, sounds like it's hitting its peak now, Covey, according to this article. I would say it... I wouldn't know.

I mean, maybe it's coming back, but it definitely had a peak a few years ago. Holy cow, that was popular. ASMR stands for... I know you're praying it's dirty. It's not. autonomous sensory meridian response I remember some of this sounds familiar to me it's like you watch a video of

someone whispering someone tapping brushing what do they mean their hair teeth teeth I like the mouth noises is another one would that always freak me out those are gross like the eating ones those ones I don't know how people and watch those. I like the ones where they're like opening up packages. I like those, that noise. That's

nice. It's calm me. Okay. So you don't care so much what they pull out of the package. It's just the sound of the crinkling wrapping paper. Yeah. Or like there's ones where the video itself is just satisfying where like the person's like say they have like a big thing of sand.

They have a thing of sand. And they take like a knife and they like cut through the sand. So you can like hear them cutting the sand and it's also satisfying because it's like like perfect cuts. I like those videos too. Yeah, I did. I hate the whispering.

I'll turn it off immediately. Yeah, it's cringy. I even felt bad doing that there. Here are, again, I'm going to forgive me because I'm not dialed into this at all. But again, here are some of the categories for ASMR videos that they mentioned in the article. Whispering, tapping. So just tapping on. Oh, yeah, a lot of people will make, that reminds me of this girl.

Oh, my God, I love this girl. I should send you guys this video. I'm just obsessed with her. tapping on the microphone. But she'll make, like, a drink in her cup. So, like, you know, you get the ice in there. That's a good noise. The mixture, mixing with the straw is a good noise.

And then every time she grabs, like, a product or a cup, she, like, taps her nails on it. Oh. Yeah, that's, like, a really huge thing. And I guess, influencer videos in general. I'm surprised it's never came up on the show, actually, because people hate it. Well, and then, you know, some people use the ambient audio where it's kind of rotating around your head. depending on how good your headphones are. It's like listening to Queens-Rike.

So, okay, whispering, tapping, brushing, and you guys say that means hair or teeth? That's what I think. Okay. Crinkling, there you go. You were mentioning crinkling wrapping paper. Gentle hand movements. Yep.

Meaning. Kind of rubbing your hands together. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Do that. Do that on the mic. Yeah. God, there's so much white flakes coming off all over the place. That is, what do you call that again?

No, I'm bleeding. That's, um, It's not halitosis, but I've got that too. And simulated personal attention. Can anyone help me out with that? Simulated personal attention? I don't know that. Well, they're kind of talking to you saying, you know, you can get through this.

You're strong. You're good enough, you're smart enough, and by God, people like you. There you go. It says your ASMR was a thing before YouTube. Okay. But ASMR creators really hopped at the chance to show their skill set on YouTube. You look at the videos. Some have like millions and millions of views.

Oh, yeah. A few years ago, my son, if he had trouble falling asleep, would watch some of those YouTube videos. And then I'd wake up on my way to work and it would freak me out a couple seconds. Like, who's whispering in my house? We've got ghosts. Okay, here's a couple more categories. Sleep content. So is that like in the old days when a guy would put a CD in his boombox of the ocean?

Yeah, yeah. That's kind of what I was just saying my son would use it. Like the guided meditation to get you to fall asleep? Eating. You listen to somebody chew. I don't like that one. I can think of about a million videos I would choose before I listen to someone chew their food. I have a thing about that.

Yeah, that one always gross me out. Driving videos. So you follow someone driving around town. They got a, what do you call it, a dash cam, and you just... And you hear the engine. You hear the road noise. Oh, I keep forgetting. It's more sound-oriented.

It's all sound-based. All right. Sorry. Yeah, so you're not watching where this person's driving. You're listening to the sounds of the road. My wife, I don't know if she can go on a, like, more than a 15-minute drive as a passenger without falling asleep. Oh, really? Her mom used to, that's how my mother-in-law would put her to sleep.

I've heard that. With the fumes from the, no, no, no, just driving around. She would drive around. Lucky. So now it's constant. Like anytime it's 10 to 15 minutes, she's out. I can't fall asleep in the car. It's impossible for me to do it.

I'm so jealous to people that can, like, fall asleep in a car on a plane. I can't if I'm drunk. Bug-E-Wagon Jesus has texted in. Bug-E-Wagon Jesus says he's not so much into ASMR videos. He likes to watch A-N-A-L. Oh, don't you, death. Videos. A little bit different.

I wouldn't even want to listen to it. that with your mother. I knew that. That's not fair. Box tossing Jesus watches haircut ASMR videos. That could be kind of satisfying. Yeah, I wouldn't mind hearing some scissors going. We've talked about this before, but I love watching, like, the Power Wash videos or the

landscape videos where they have an unruly yard and they just slowly trim it all down. One of the complaints here I'm seeing about ASMR videos, one of the complaints is that they're very long. Your mom's chest hair, Jesus said. It makes my skin crawl. You get to visceral rage. I understand. It makes mine crawl too.

Really? What makes his skin crawl? Watching these videos or listening to the audio. Okay. Oh, I love them. Maybe I want to... Like it makes your hair stand up. And you like that?

No, I'm with you on that. I don't care for them, but I know some people love them. Some of them do that. Maybe I want to listen to audio of someone's skin crawling. I'd like to find that. A lot of people are saying this and they're right. the Bob Ross painting videos. That's kind of like ASMR.

Or it's just very satisfying. His voice is very soothing. You know, I'm going to make a little happy tree. All right. People are texting in about rug cleaning, thunderstorm sounds, rotating fan sounds, and a breeze coming from the out of doors. Nail clipping.

Oh, that's a joke about Randy Shaver. The people are joking about Randy's breathing and clipping. I have like a white noise machine. I mean, I listen to Brown noise. I don't really know the difference between that and white noise, but... What? And it's very... There's different colored noises.

Yeah, I don't know. I just picked one. I think it's deeper than white noise a little bit, but yeah, I have that going. I mean, that's literally 24-7. Okay, well, you have to back up now. What is brown noise? So, do you know what white noise is? It's like a lower frequency than white noise.

Deeper tones? Yeah. And then white noise is... I guess it's just a little bit higher than brown noise would be then. I don't know. Yeah, I know a couple people who need sound to sleep, whether it be the television or they load up the sounds of the ocean or something on their cell phone. But I know very, very little about ASMR.

I don't know. That's not how I'm wired. I want absolute silence and total darkness. I want total darkness, but I like having some sound. You do. It freaks me out. It hides the sounds of the house, you know, because I must be somewhat of a light sleep. Garbage house.

The screams coming from the basement. No, no, no, that's what duct tape is for, Ash. You're such an amateur. Your garbage house makes a lot of noises. It does. Yeah. To the point where I've figured out the type of noise it'll make by the temperature in the house. I'm not even joking.

If my bedroom hits 68, I know exactly how it's going to sound. And I suppose when you turn the furnace on, you get the expanding of the ducks and all that. There's like a little tapping. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm familiar with some of that stuff. But I like it dead quiet.

Roastmaster Jesus found out that the sound of snoring makes his wife beat the crap out of him. ASMR audio. An article crossed our path saying that more and more folks are using ASMR audio. to help them relax, to help them wind down after a long day of work, to help them sleep, to help them get smooth off, some of them. And we have some text messages that have come in on the topic. Well, now, first off, I don't think this was an ASMR video, but we're not a bunch of rookies.

We do know about the grapefruit video. Oh, yeah. So much so that we were told not to play it anymore. We played it a couple times, and our old boss, who just got goofy about stuff. Our old boss was an idiot. Well, maybe that's why. Yeah, that was just a straight up regular video,

if I remember correctly, of a lady demonstrating how she uses a grapefruit to aid in her BJs? Yes. Now, like, it was meant to just be a video, but certainly the audio is the highlight. of that gimmick. Yeah, we're fully aware of the grapefruit video. Yeah, the grapefruit lady, legend. I remember, I think that, the noise really troubled you.

Yeah, it was disgusting. Yeah, I enjoyed it. I can't remember if there's swear words in it. Maybe we'll get that for tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. That was one of those where the boss came in and... The one who was a total idiot? Yeah.

I should be clear, the first one, or maybe the second one. But he came in and made sure to watch me delete it. He didn't want us to play it. Those frigging jagoffs had no idea what they were doing. Okay, here are some other texts coming in on ASMR videos. And the variety is endless. Everything from someone eating to brushing their hair, petting their dog, cutting their hair.

Even someone said there's even ASMR videos where you can hear someone trim their ass hair. Yeah, I make those. You make those. Unfortunately, I can do it weekly. I don't understand why I grow so fast. How about saying when you shave it, it grows back faster? Cow hoof repair videos. Oh, I've watched those.

Oh, really? Yeah, I, those are one, though. Well, wait a minute now. They can't really get through it. They say video. They say video, but did they mean audio? Which of you? I'm guessing they mean the actual video.

Watching someone, okay. The horses, too. They do redo their hoofs or whatever they got going on down there. Yeah. Okay, that must be a video. It looks painful. I have a hard time watching those. I mean, like I always do for a little bit.

And then I'm like, ah, can't do it. Can't do it. Yeah, some people are texting out videos that are equally as satisfying and kind of calming. Like, you guys ever watch how it's made? Oh, yeah. I love that show. It's kind of like that, right? It's like you watch baseball bats being made.

You know, kind of go through the machine or crayons. Crayons. Crayons. I'm trying to learn how to say it. Because I grew up as Cranes. You mentioned that, yeah. So crayons. Am I putting too much of an emphasis on it?

I'm going to go with crayons. Letter buck, cubby. Crayons. All right, here's a listener who says on YouTube, there's an ASMR car repair setup where you can listen to the sound of someone repairing a motor vehicle. So you hear the tools rattling and the, what is that thing you'll? lay on, Josh, and you go under the car. The creeper? The creeper rolling. Sounds like something a little kid would like. Yeah, I like that kind of stuff. Metal on metal and...

I like in like a podcast or audio theater. I think you and I've talked about this before. WCCO used to play that late at night. F me! And they'd have all the sound effects and stuff. I thought that was great. Maybe they still do, but I don't like to stay up that late. I'm angry at myself now that I can't think of the name of the show. I'll look that up. Yes. It wasn't that... It was something theater.

Yes, something along those lines. For a stretch of time, I always had a Saturday night bar gig that would end around midnight. And usually I was accompanied by a hard rock act. Acid rock, wolf rock, sometimes some thrash metal. I would introduce a band. And that would usually wrap up around midnight. For my drive home, because I had had my fill of loud music, I would put on WCCO And Josh is right.

They had this old school mystery storytelling hour where they did all the sound effects themselves. It was awesome. The man walked up to the door and you'd hear the of the foot. And there was something so. And a door creek and the character voices, wind rain. There was something so fun about listening to that program. Imagination theater. And they had another one.

CBS Radio Mystery Theater. I dug that. Me too. Those were great. And there's some podcasts that are very, very good at that. I'm sure there's some version of it you can find somewheres. This was 15, 20 years ago, what I'm talking about. Maybe even, more like 20, 25, where I'd

listen to that on my way home from stuck in Apple Valley on a Saturday night or something. The whole way home I would I mean, it brings me back to when we were kids, before there was VCRs, how silly is this. My sister was so in love with the television show

The Love Boat. She was drawn, some of you older folks will know this now. This was a big thing on Love Boat when Gofer and Julie began a romantic relationship. Okay? And my sister was so dialed in to this television romance between Gofer

and Julie that she would put a cassette tape in our tape recorder and record the audio of the television show Love Boat. Wow. I want to wonder if she still has those cassettes sitting around. I would like to listen to it just for the commercials, just to hear what commercials were running in 1980 on television.

A lot of jingles, I bet. Back then. What about Josh, did you ever sit down and record the radio because you were waiting for the DJ to play the new single by Cool and the Gang or whatever? Yeah. And I always was like, it was always the worst when they'd talk over the intro. Oh, the absolute worst.

Oh, you ruined it. I used to record the radio on my phone so that I could have like a ringtone on my phone. Oh. Yep. Huh? What do you mean? How does that work? Do you have, you press record on your phone?

You would record just live radio. Yep. And that would do what for you? Then I could do whatever I wanted with it. I could use it as a ringtone or text tone. Yeah. I loved doing that. Oh.

Except obviously, you know, it sounded way worse than if you would just like went onto the store. And you could like buy a music that you could. use, but... Your ringtone would be Gibronies talking on the radio. No, it would be the song. Oh, the song? Oh, I know you're talking about talk radio.

Oh, no, that'd be weird. To use the song as a... Yeah, some dude like doing the weather. I apologize, but you know you always have to walk me through stuff like that. When you were younger, Nick, did you also hate talk radio? I couldn't stand it. Josh, I was so...

I was so fully unaware of it, I had no feeling on it. Oh, boy, I couldn't stand it. My dad used to listen to that all the way. the time. I didn't listen to one second of talk radio until I was working in the industry. Really? Not a single second of it. I had heard it, you know, other people listening to it. I just couldn't stand it. Yeah, well. Just wanted music. Yeah. People, you know, when we first got into the business, people often said, well, were you motivated by this talk show or that talk show? Never heard of one of them. Right. So yeah, this was, this was totally foreign to me. Let her buck, Cubby.

Happy belated 16th birthday to Evan from Mom, RX, Sheezus. And once again, we get the great pleasure to welcome a new baby to the brotherhood. Congratulations to the newest member, our newest member, Pine Cone Jesus, and also congratulations, of course, to Turkey But McGee and his better half. Thanks to Melvin the Mott Boy

Jesus for letting us know. 93X Half-Ast morning show. Hey, podcast, friends. It's Dana here. I'm a smart club member of Standard Heating and Air Condition. I think you should join me. I don't mean to be that guy, but as Minnesones, we know what season's coming up. Getting your

furnace tune-up before the cold weather hits is just smart. Right now, you can save $70 on a furnace tune-up or double-dip and save $140 if you add the AC tune-up as well. Scheduled by September 30th and use the code 93x to save. Standard heating and air conditioning, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Online at standardheating.com.