93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Let's Ride

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

Originally Aired August 7, 2026: International Beer Day. The ocean is none of your business. Everything you wanna know about Josh being a weather balloon. Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93X half-assed morning show. Ninety-three. This is it. A great man once said, let's ride. And that man was former NFL quarterback Russell Wilson. Welcome to the 93-X-half-ass morning show. Let's ride.

What was the other phrase he had? Let's tell lies. Oh, is that what he had? Let's tell wild, exaggerated stories in front of huge crowds about baseball. Yeah, that was his other motto. Right. If you know Russell Wilson. and you know the reference.

Unfortunately, that's a true story. Yeah. What were you thinking? I thought he had one before. Let's ride. We're dedicating today to the life and times and thoughts and dreams of Russell Wilson. I remember now. Yeah.

It was when he referred to himself as Mr. Unlimited. Unlimited. Unlimited. Today's show will make our best attempt to be unlimited today. He's not dead or anything. I just thought, why not? dedicate today's program to the ideas and the dreams of one Russell. Quite the character that Russell Wilson.

Where else can we go with this today? I got to be honest with you, we were so busy jaw jack and off air that I really didn't prepare myself for a live broadcast at all. Yeah. We got to jaw jack and off air. We get to Gavin. We were telling stories. I can tell you that today is international beer day.

I'm back to drinking beer now. I mentioned that? No. Oh, I'm happy for you up to. Because for a while, you were three, four a night. Before you quit, were you about the same? Yeah. Three, four a night?

Yeah, a couple three. Yeah, as you guys learned earlier this week, I have three, four beers a night for me, too. Although I've quit. Price is just pretty expensive. Let them in on the joke. Well, it's not a joke. I mean, root beer. Root beer.

Got a beer right in the name of it. A month ago, a month and a half ago, yeah, I had a little... Let's try. I had a little health issue. So I decided to dummy down on the beers. Can I credit you for something? You didn't come in here and act like a dick. You know, some people might.

And you gave up a couple of your vices, if you don't mind me calling them that. Trimming them way, way, way down. Things you really enjoy. Yeah. It was a better way to put it. Oh, I didn't. I didn't come in here. There was a couple times.

A little edgy. Edgy. But, yeah, never a dick. Some people, we've had that here where somebody changes something in their life. And they take it out on everybody. Well, I appreciate that. Yeah, a month and a half ago, I decided to cut way, way, way down on the chewing tobacco, and then I eliminated beer.

But what day is it today? Friday? Tuesday night, we had our little neighborhood jaw jack. What was that? Oh, did that just happen? The night out thing? Oh, National Night Out? Yeah. Oh, yep, yep.

Yeah, do you miss it? Yeah, I had no idea. Nobody doesn't. I mean, hey, I could certainly step up. I'm realizing as I'm saying it. But yeah, that just went by. Yeah, same here. And I know what's around this time.

Yeah, I never thought of it. You know, sometimes you'll drive by a neighborhood and you get jealous because there's fire trucks and ambulances and police cars and canine units and stuff like that. I didn't see any of it this year. Yeah, I think there was something like that around where I lived, but I completely missed it. And I was bummed out too. We shut our blinds. Yeah, I never was.

Oh, really? You're not interested? Yeah, I know. I didn't even, I wasn't even aware of it for the majority of my life. But just the last couple of years, my neighbors get together and there's a pile of food. And everyone just kind of, if you don't know who each other are, you kind of introduce yourself. You know the gimmick. I never really was aware of this routine until recently.

So Tuesday night, three, four doors down. we were having the neighborhood night out gimmick and my wife and I decided to walk down and see some of our neighbors and I said you know what I'm going to do I'm going to bring a frigging can of beer down there how was it the first time in how long month and a half longest I'd gone without a beer since I was 12 years old 12 years old and it was delicious so I had a couple Tuesday night I had a couple Wednesday had a couple last night I'm back into the mix I was a little nervous

because I thought maybe beer would trigger the issue that I've been dealing with. It did not. Did the people at Coors ever reach out like, hey, you okay, buddy? It's funny. I've had my balls busted for that a little bit. Someone said something even last night about, yeah. Maybe I had been, the stock numbers for. They noticed like, hey, guys, we're in the red all of a sudden.

The guy at the liquor store misses you. Yeah, right. I've gotten a couple of those lines. They were delicious. Josh. I genuinely wondered that about, like, for a while, I had a Jersey Mike's obsession. You know, Chipotle's always been my main love. But I just went to go into Jersey Mike's a few times a week.

I don't know what it was. I just couldn't stop going. I ended up getting to know the owner. I mean, I was there all the time. And then I stopped for a little while, and my wife was like, you're probably making them nervous. I bet they think you drop dead. You were there a few times a week, and now you haven't gone in a bit. Oh, we definitely noticed, like, when I worked in that field of,

work. Is that what you call it? You mean when you're at subway? Yeah, when I was at subway or whether I was a server or, you know, any restaurant I've ever worked at. If somebody just randomly stopped coming in, that would come in all the time, oh, we noticed. And I was definitely worried every time. I can guarantee. I suppose especially someone of a certain age maybe. Yeah. And unfortunately I'm there probably. Yeah, since my folks checked out, I know the, since my folks checked out, I know the vanilla vodka, Budweiser and cigarette man up in their hometown is wondering what the hell's going on.

He's got to go fund me somewhere. So anyway, just a side note on international beer day that I have gotten back into the habit and so far so good. What about chewing? I'm sorry if you already said it. Yeah, well, like we discussed a couple days ago, I'm dwindled way down to...

Are you still on that stuff that's mostly branches or are you back to your normal? Oh, God, yeah. I got rid of that stuff. Good. I'm glad. I missed it a little bit because everyone... Once in a while, you'd walk over here and give me a branch that was in your tin of chew. There was a discount brand of chew that a buddy of mine, Wain DeLay, we were just talking about Wayne DeLay a couple days ago. Wayne DeLay introduced me to this discount can of chew and he said, oh, come on, you know, it's so much cheaper and it's really good. And it was okay.

But Josh is right. Every once in a while, I'd find like a tobacco tree branch in there. So I ridded myself. It's crazy. International Beer Day. We got an answer from Master Electrician, Jesus. He looked it up. Coors Molson, they were down 30% in profits since last quarter.

I apologize to that crowd. Some jobs maybe had been lost in the process, but rehire the boys and girls. I'm back in the mix. On International Beer Day, how about seven myths about beer? Myths. Drinking a lot of beer gives you a beer belly, is myth number one. Says here, beer on its own doesn't cause a belly.

It's a combination of too many calories in general. And a sedentary lifestyle. Sedentary. That'll do it. I've got one of those. You don't show it. Most days. Some days you come in a little bloated.

Another myth about beer. Dark beers are stronger than light beers. They say, you know, the color doesn't really mean much. It's the alcohol content. You know, the first time I had a Guinness, I didn't want to. You know, it was like a Guinness promotion, and I thought, I don't want to eat a beer.

I was surprised it wasn't like that at all. I love Guinness. Yeah, it's good. I thought it was going to be like tough where I'd have to kind of have a spoon to help me eat it like pudding. But it wasn't that way at all. I didn't like it. Oh, you didn't? And I was drinking it in Ireland.

I know. I know you were kind of the same spot where they're, but eventually somebody gave you an out, right? Yeah. Mr. Guinness, basically. I think he was the man. We went to Ireland years ago. It was a radio station thing.

I didn't want to go. But we were giving away a bar. That was the thing. So it was like Minneapolis, Chicago, San Diego, Seattle, a few other cities, sent a radio crew in Minneapolis's case. Unfortunately, I drew the short straw. And I had to go all the way to Ireland. We broadcasted live from a bar that was then going to be given away. way on air and all those markets that I told you about were involved. In the end, someone from the

Twin Cities won that bar. And from what I remember, this is 30 years ago, they immediately sold it. But I mean, a lot of those big prizes, it's like that, right? I'm being slightly sarcastic about my disinterest in the trip. It's nothing against the people at Guinness or Irish people. I just don't like to travel. So I didn't want to go. And that's the long way to go. That sounds so awesome. It really wasn't. So we go there and, I mean, this was the Guinness people. They were very generous. And so I was appreciative, of course.

I was appreciative of this free trip. It's just traveling isn't my thing. So night number one, we're sitting in this bar that's going to be given away eventually. And I didn't know Dick Tracy. At the time I was 23 years old. I knew domestic beers. I didn't know anything about dark beers and all these beers from around the world. Nothing.

So I thought, Guinness is paying for this sum bitch. I better drink a Guinness. So I go to the bar and they pour me one of those big, tall black sum bitches. Yep. I choked down a couple of them. I was not enjoying it. And I'm being eyeballed from across the bar by the Guinness guy. And I thought, uh-oh, what's he eyeballing me for?

And he comes over and he says, are you enjoying your drink? And, of course, being a naive kid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, I love it. I love it. truth was I couldn't stand it. And he says, I'm not stupid. I can tell you're not enjoying that beer.

And he said, you don't have to drink that. I said, well, you guys are paying for the. And he goes, no, what I mean is, and he points at all the taps behind the bar. And he goes, we've got 66 different kinds of beers here. You don't have to drink the traditional Guinness. He said, we got this, that, this, that. So he found me one that was as close to a domestic beer as possible. And then I really had a good time.

They've got hundreds of different styles. But I didn't like those dark ones. You were smart, though, because I've seen that before where somebody at a beer promotion will drink the wrong beer, and they almost get beat up or stabbed, usually by our sales department. Some of them will get butt hurt. Here's another myth about beer. Beer should always be served ice cold. That's how I like it. Okay, here's a little more information on that myth.

It says ice cold temperatures can actually ruin the flavor of a good beer. I'm not a beer guy, even though it's what I've been drinking since I was a kid. I know nothing about the ins and outs of beer, how it's made. So that's kind of a surprise to me. There are certain beers that the flavor can be ruined if it's cold. I certainly know and have known over the years plenty of guys who don't mind a warm beer. I don't mind a warm. Yeah, I don't want a warm beer.

I don't mind. I mean, I'd prefer it to be a little colder, but you give me a worn beer, it'll disappear. What's the other myth here? Beer, draft beer. The next myth is draft beer gives you an overhang. Yeah, I'd never heard that before. Oh, yeah, that was always...

That was always... That's commonly known? Yeah, I think... Yeah, I think it is pretty common. I stopped drinking draft beer for that reason. I thought it was giving me an overhang. What do they say here? No, I didn't...

Yeah, I never heard that. What should say here? It says drinking an excessive amount of... of alcohol no matter what the type will cause, an overhang. Well, the story that I was always told, and I went along with it, is, you know, they don't clean the lines as often as they should at most bars when you're drinking keg beer, draft beer. So that's what gives you an overhang. I don't know if that's true.

That makes sense, I guess, yeah. But I went along with it, and, I mean, I'll still stick to what I believe. I believe that draft beer did make me feel worse in the morning than bottles or cans. Maybe there's nothing behind it, but that's the experience that I've had. It also destroyed my stomach, didn't it, Josh? Oh, yeah, you know what? Okay, there was a difference. When you switched back to cans or bottles, there was a difference.

When I was drinking draft, taps, whatever you want to call it, I was not a pleasant guy to sit in studio with. And Josh had to gut every bit of it. Okay. Brought us closer together, I think. Beer before liquor never been sicker is another myth that we're sharing here to. today on International Beer Day. I've always bought that one.

I don't have any personal experience where I can say, oh, yeah, that's for sure. That's the way it always played out for me. Yeah, same here. That's the way it always played out for me. I don't want to risk it. And, of course, it mentions here. It really depends on how much you've been drinking, not the order.

From a scientific perspective, from a scientific perspective, alcohol is alcohol. Different drinks might cause you to have worse hangovers compared to others. but the order doesn't matter. Just don't overdo it. IPAs are always bitter. Here's where I'll show my ignorance again. I don't really know what an IPA is compared to a...

I just don't know. I've had plenty of them and, yeah, they're not all bitter. Oh, they aren't? Yeah, I don't like. That's the only beer that I don't like. Like the rest of them I'm fine with. But maybe I haven't had a good one. A friend of mine bust my balls all the time where he's like,

hey, you ever had a logger? And I'm like, I don't know what that is. If you ever had an IPA? I'm not exactly sure what they. He's like, how do you not know? I just don't know. I never followed this stuff. Just give me a can of Budweiser, Bushlight, Coors, Old Milwaukee.

I just don't. So that's a myth. IPAs are not always bitter. And they go into. I get Coors Light just because that's what you drink, really. I don't drink enough to have developed my own favorite. The final myth is beer is unhealthy. And what should say here?

Well, beer is not healthy for you. But there are studies. that say it can have benefits. In moderation, of course, which is Russell Wilson always said. Moderation is best. It's Russell Wilson Day. Yeah. It's funny how it's Russell Wilson Day, even though today's Jalen Hertz's birthday.

I hope that Jalen Hertz isn't listening because, although we're happy that he's turned 28, today's Russell Wilson Day. And Kyler Murray, don't forget about him. No one cares about Kyler Murray. Nobody? No. So go ahead, drain a few on International Beer Day. So I was mentioning, I don't, as far as I know, I don't like IPAs.

I've had, I think, two I didn't care for them, but maybe there's plenty out there that are great. I actually said she likes it. Steel-I-Gesis said, you will never find a good IPA. Okay, so they're all like that. No, there's plenty of good IPAs. Another guy texted in to say, hey, rookie, soup comes in cans. Making fun of canned beer. What's the...

What's the... I do love soup. I'm a soup guy. He says soup comes in cans, beer comes in a bottle. Okay, bottom. You know, those beer snobs at like a battle back and forth.

I was wondering like, what's the one to do? Yeah, when I drink Coorslight, I'm like, oh boy, I used to drink a lot of it. It would be bottles. You can. You can drink a lot of that stuff. My gosh. It, like, got out of hand because it started out,

it was when I was drinking like every night and plain pool. And it started out like, okay, four would get me there, five, six. And it just like kept going up. And I just had to keep buying larger and larger quantities of beer. It was so frustrating. I think you're talking about good old-fashioned tolerance right there. It just got out of hand so fast.

I was like, all right, I think we need to chill out with this. No, no, there's no chilling out. Not when you're only 28 years old. Don't let me hear you talk about chilling out when you're so young. Oh, gosh, no, I thought this when, I mean, I just, I was drinking like that when I was 21, 22. And I thought that, like, this is not good. I shouldn't be drinking 12 beers in one night. Ah, you did it right.

You could drink 12 beers in one night? Yeah. At your size? Yeah, I mean, that's... It wasn't too long ago. What did you tell us that you could drink like a whole bottle of Jack Daniels? What were we arguing about two months ago or something like that? I don't recall.

Yeah, I have no memory of that. I don't even know what we were just talking about like 15 minutes ago. Yeah. Hey, you can't blame pregnancy brain anymore. No. There you go. It's a postpartum brain now. Oh, is that a thing too?

Yeah, I guess your brain doesn't go back to normal until like two years afterwards or something like that. Something insane. I thought my wife was joking about pregnancy brain. And then I found out from other women said, nope, that's a legit thing. Oh, I was so stupid. You want to hear we can keep talking about drinking, if you like. Here are the top places to get drunk that are not a bar. The top places to get drunk that are.

not a bar. The folks at is it barstool.com? Barstool sports. Barstool sports.com. Okay, so they go with a wedding. It's a good one. Yeah, that's a great one.

Oh, boy, if I gotten myself I've gotten myself good and drunk at a wedding or two. Although we've seen a groom that maybe should have dialed it back. Yeah, unless you're the bride, the groom or a part of the wedding party. That dude, who we just saw

a couple nights ago. Yeah. I wish I could have talked to him more. Totally and completely ruled that evening. He was the drunkest guy in the room by quite a bit, and he was the groom. You know, because I'm sure you guys have been at weddings where everyone's like, God, this son of a gun, get him out of here. He's way too wasted.

But this was the groom. And just for the record, this wasn't at 1230 or 1 a.m. He suddenly showed himself as this was when we walked into the reception. This was as the wedding party Here they are, Mr. and Mrs. Gibroni. That was when it was right at the very beginning, we said, holy balls, this guy is hammered. He was the world's greatest host.

He was going from table to table to table, entertaining everybody, but yeah, he had some trouble there. And he walks up to me and Cubby. And just for the record, boy, did we bring some foxy ladies to that wedding, didn't we, Cubby? Yeah, that was a good night. And so our drunk groom Just been introduced to the crowd

Like I said, the friggin party just started And he walks up to me and he goes So who is this? Who's this lady that you I have yet to have the pleasure of being introduced to this And I said well this is Missy And he slides off his wedding ring Ports it in his pocket and walks up and goes

How you doing? I'm Donnie No It's just three minutes after they said, Mr. and Mrs. Gibroni, and the parents are all crying. Oh, it's so beautiful. That was a sense of humor, Ashley. He would never, as far as I know, he would never go through. All right.

Here's where else we can get drunk. Here are, how do I, how did I say it originally? Places to get drunk that are not a bar. Tailgate party, sure. Never tailgated. What? So much fun. Oh, it's the best.

I mean, it's all right. Sometimes it's so much fun. I don't even want to go into the game. I've only been to a handful of Vikings games. I think I've been to three. Two of them were preseasoned. Tailgate for a Golden Gopher football game. That's a lot of fun.

Yeah, college football tailgates are great. Yeah, I've heard that's awesome. Yeah, they are great. The old, the most fun I ever had tailgate was North Star Games. At that huge parking lot they had at MetSah. Oh, my God. We were, you know, far underage. Nobody said a word.

Nobody cared. God help us, we had the best time. A golf course, skipped that crap. at a sporting event. Sure, you go to a ball game, you get hammered, hollering at the referee, cussing up and down. Backyard barbecue, sure. Got something or another to eat. Nice summer night. On a boat. I'd throw in tubing there too, like the Apple River. Apple River. They'll remind you. You have to drink to go down the Apple River. They hand you a life jacket and a beer. They give you a breathalyzer to make sure you have beer in your system before you get into one of the rafts.

We used to go there three, four times a summer. What the hell were we doing? Oh, I only went once. Jesus, we loved it, though. It was wild. Oh, yeah. When we were kids, oh, God, it was wild. It was everything I was told it would be.

Boobies. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, you can get drunk on a boat, they say. Well, just be careful, for Christ's sake. Don't be wrapping that thing around a rock bed. Oh, sorry, that's the gas, because I'm back to drinking beer. What? I heard that last.

Yeah, God, dang. One of my dogs sounds like that when he's passing gas. Oh. It's just air. You can go ahead and get drunk at a concert. Oh, well, I always, always is not the right term. Sure, I've been good and hammered at a few concerts, but when I was young, high school, I would always behave myself at my favorite concerts because I wanted to remember.

Me too. I watch it as if I'm in a lecture hall. And then I loosened up. up a little bit as I got older. But when we were kids, yeah, you know, like I mentioned Met Center. Most of the shows I went to see were Met Center. In the parking lot, my friends would just be, woo! Van Halen!

Right? And just kidding as drunk as well. And I would, I was, no, no, no, because I was kind of, you know, kind of that music dork. And I never wanted to black out or be too because I wanted to remember it. And I guess it worked. Was it Iron Maiden, a former manager in this building was absolutely obliterated to the point No, that was Motley Crew. I know it was also Megadeth.

There's a couple. Are you talking about where we really thought he was going to die? Yeah. That was Motley Crew. He couldn't stand. He couldn't talk. Oh, my God. Eventually, they just, someone picked him up and carried him out of there like he was a baby.

So, again, I loosened up as I got older, but I used to take concerts pretty seriously. Because, you know, this was the 80s. There wasn't the Internet. This was your chance to see this band. You know, this was it. I'm sure you could look at a few pictures of them in the magazine. I didn't have MTV. Right.

So this was my big chance to see these guys. Where else can we get drunk? At a beach, at a house party. One of my favorite movies, house party. I have yet to see it. What's wrong with you? At a casino. I saw a casino.

You see casino? De Niro, Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. That's the first time I was ever scared of Joe Pesci. I suppose the risk of getting. gooned at a casino, you'll lose all your money. Yeah,

and you won't feel bad about it, at least. This is very specific at a championship parade. Okay, I mean, if you're waiting to get drunk at a championship parade, how it might take a while. And on an airplane, Oh, I've seen you imbibe. Oh, no.

Yeah, that was bad. Love being drunk on a plane. I need beer, usually, on an airplane. I've been real drunk a couple times, but you know, sometimes, Josh, I'm so nervous the beard doesn't even crack through that wall. You know what I mean? Yeah, your nerves get the best to you.

When I was younger, I'd suck down, you know, all these. You're better now, though, aren't you? Yeah. It seems like you are. When I was younger, though, I would be five, six, seven beers deep, and I'd be thinking, I'm still scared. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I'm drinking the beer to try to kill the fear. Give me another. Give me another. What's happening? I'm still scared. You know another one that should be on the list? The garage. Oh, good call.

Standing out in the garage in the summer. Well, shoot, even in the winter. A buddy of mine has basically a full bar in his garage. Like, he's a contractor. He knows how to do stuff. It's beautiful. I had that detached garage for many years. Television, stereo, couches, a bar.

Hell yeah, those were fun times. Ping pong table. Foozball table. That's awesome. Pono movies. What? I'm sick You lost them

You lost them Didn't eat the smut Everything else he said was great Dirty magazines everywhere It's not as bad I even put up My favorite posters Up there

Oh look Iron Maiden Like a That sounds cool Like a 12 year old's bedroom No I bet it looked sweet I had the rock posters up there Tapestries

Oh I had a couple of those You had some tapestries Yeah Those were big. When we were growing up. That's so funny because, like, the only people I know that have those are, like, straight hippies or, like, EDM people. People that listen to, like, dump stuff. Well, they have, like, pot leaves and stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. Ours were of our favorite bands or album covers. It was that kind of stuff instead of, like, how it is now. Weird. The state fair. You'd have to go to the midway and get some of the little. Valley Fair.

Do that sounds way cooler than what they have now? Yeah. Spencer. When Josh and I were kids, the tapestries all said, kiss in ACDC and then in the 90s, it became marijuana and other marijuana, you know. Nightmare before Christmas, that kind of stuff. Nightmare before Christmas. Of course.

They have like every piece of merch you could ever imagine in the world. That's what's kept Spencer's in business, I think, since that movie came out. People won't stop buying me that stuff, and I've never seen the movie. That's shocking to me. It's right up your alley. At this point, I don't want to watch it because there's too much pressure on me to watch it. Right, in case you don't like it. Like, what if I just absolutely hate it?

Do you guys know where Perry saturn Jesus to get, you know, where he goes to get drunk and it's not a bar? Where's that? Where? Big Julie's house. Don't you know Big Julie? I do. I used to. Whisco maple syrup, Jesus.

This is a great one. Camping. That should be on the last. I don't like to drink while camping. Oh. Why don't you like to drink while camping? Well, I guess the only times I go camping now are up in, like, the boundary waters, and I don't want to be intoxicated while I'm up. there. Well, you have to walk with a canoe on your back and all that. Yeah, the whole

hungover bed. But then also, like, I think of like bears and stuff. And I'm like, ah. Oh, but like what about just a regular campground, you know? Oh, I, yeah, like a campground with like RVs at it and stuff. Like, yeah, I'll have some beers. Heck out. I mean, I mean, if I got to wake up tomorrow and carry a canoe to some creek or something dumb like that. Yeah, I was picturing like real deal camping. I've never been interested in that scene. Hey, you want to go walk a Like a canoe on my back. Portaging. I never had to carry the canoe.

Well, whatever. That's why I liked it. Don't think everyone walks to their next little stupid river or whatever. No. No. Yeah, I had it easy, so I probably liked it a lot more than everybody else I was with. I'll go out to the, what do they call that? What's that traditional campground company?

I'll go out to the. Oh, darn it. Camp Crystal Lake. Yeah. I think it starts with a K. Yeah, I'm wanting to say K-Kiwawa. I'm wanting to say K to. I'll just go to Corcoran, you know.

It's on the side of the road there, you know. Ironworker Jesus said best place to get drunk is at work, and he's on his way now. Is he headed out to work? I've got to have a couple at work. Today we're dedicating the show to Russell Wilson for no good reason. It's going to be a wonderful thing. We appreciate you listening. What's happening later?

Oh, we'll talk to Randy Shaver. We'll talk to Bradrider. We'll take a break. The stupid news will be in the mix here before you know it. Hey, it's Dana. Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust Standard Heating.

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The U.S. Soccer Podcast. I'm your host Megan Klingerberg. And after interviewing so many dudes during this men's World Cup, I'm so happy to be back with my U.S. Women's National Team players. I know the U.S. men's national team has changed how I think about myself, how I think about being an American, how I think about being on a team. It's one year out from that World Cup, and we're going to talk about the brightest prospects in U.S. soccer.

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International Beer Day, everybody. Take that in whatever direction you like. We had a conversation earlier about International Beer Day. We talked about some of the myths of drinking beer. Things like

beer will give you a gut. You know, you've got to earn that, Cubby. It doesn't just instantly give it to you. What are some of the funny names for a gut from drinking beer? Well, one of my pals, the one I thought was the most unique, as he says, when you got a rig like this, you got to build a shed over it.

Fuel tank for a love machine. That one gets tired easily, in my opinion. No offense to you folks who like that line, but I was tired of that when I was a sixth grader. There's a few more. Yeah. Anyway, international beer day. We got to talking also about the best places to get drunk

that aren't a bar. And folks said, the campground, the golf course on an airplane. Where else did they say? At the casinos tailgates. No, the tailgate, the ball game. A listener by the name of horse-holler Jesus. Said, I'll tell you the best place to get drunk that's not a bar. The rodeo tonight in mayor.

Oh, dang, yeah. And I've done some things at the I-Santi rodeo that I'm not proud of back in college. We used to go every year. That was a good time up there. Did you ever hit Buffalo or Hamel? No. Okay. Yeah, fun places to go.

All right, have fun tonight, horse holler Jesus. And by the way, we all had a collective brain fart. One of the spots we talked about, again, a good place to get drunk that is not a bar. The campground, and we all collectively couldn't come up with that very famous campground company. K-O-A! Ah, yeah, K-O-A. There you go. Which kind of reminds me the K-O-D.

We had some good times there, too. Oh, you did. Yep, maybe a little too good once. I know you had one night, you had too much damn fun. What were we doing before that? Were we at jerseys before that? Jersey's what it was? Yeah.

Yeah, we had a couple. I used to have a bar gig at jerseys every Friday night. I think it was from 10 to midnight. Jesus, how. Stupid. That sounds exhausting. And it didn't even occur to us because we were young. I remember thinking that I was.

was frustrated that the world's or a lot of places shut down like at 10. I'm like, it should be a 24-hour society. What if I want to leave the house at 10. What a difference, you know, what a difference 25 years can make. But yeah, I used to do this bar game. I love jerseys. Hello to the people who run jerseys. It's been a lot of years. Saw some great live bands there. Definitely. A lot of great cover bands, tribute acts. Met some foxy ladies. So yeah, my gig was Friday night from 10 to midnight. And since midnight, hell, you're just getting started. We'd go over to the King of Diamonds for three and a half hours. Ashley, do you mind if I bust you because you love to bust me?

Go for it. Off air, we were talking about, you know, getting together at a particular event. And she's like, oh, I don't know. It starts at seven. And I had to remind her, well, yeah, it's on a Saturday night. And you still thought, that's too late. That's too late, man. Seven o'clock on a Saturday?

I can't do that. Things have changed. Yeah, you're only 28. What's wrong with you? I only had one bad time at King of Diamonds, Josh. It was my own fault. My twin brother was driving me and a buddy. My brother hasn't had a beer since we were, you know, 23, 4 years old.

So he had already been sober now for a good decade, my brother. So he was always up for driving, never minded driving. And, of course, he was the safest alternative. So my brother and I and one other pal, we went down to KOD, and I just got blasted. So it was probably about, I don't know, 1130, maybe midnight. And I just forgot, Josh. I forgot that I was not in charge. And I turned to my twin brother and I said, well, that's about enough for me.

Let's get the hell out of here. And he said, get comfortable, dumb ass. He said, I'm good to go for another couple hours. I haven't had a drink, obviously. I'm good. So you better get comfortable. So there I am up in the front row where you're kind of nodding off now and again. Oh, God. What time is it now? Oh, it's only five minutes have gone by. Come on. Can we please go home? He said, we're not going anywhere, dude. I'm having a great time.

That was my own fault. Does this ever weird you out thinking back to like our early days going to those places quite often? It seemed like for it, that was just almost a nightly thing around here is to go to one of the strip club. We were always at the boom boom room. Always, always. And it was never really my thing, no offense to them whatsoever. But, you know, it's just, that's what people did. Instead of going to, like, happy hour at Applebee's, it was always the strip club over here.

Yeah. Sometimes I think some of those women are on social security. You know, from when we first started going to that. It's a beautiful thing. It makes me feel so old. It's a beautiful. All right, let's get started with the stupid news report. What do I have here?

Oh, I can see this. I can see the fun in this bit. It's a little creepy, maybe even a little cold-blooded. But I can see where he's going with this. Police in Wales, wherever that is. They had to put the irons on a 26-year-old dude. Here's why. Dude got himself dressed up as the damn grim reaper.

He had the cloak, the robe, the hood, right? he even had the sickle. Is that what they call that thing? Yeah. That the grim, and when we see... I dressed as a grim reaper for Halloween one year. Did you? In the movies and television,

we always see the grim reaper. He's hauling around that sickle. So dude's got the whole smear, right? He was pretty cool in Bill and Ted's. He was. He rocked. He was very funny. He was.

So this dude got himself dressed up as the stinking grim by God Reaper. Then he climbed up onto the road. of the local hospital, and then he just stood there, staring ominously down onto the patients and staff as they came in and out the joint. I don't care who you are. That's funny right there. Yeah, I'd imagine if you've got a dying loved one, you might not find it as funny, but that is kind of funny.

He's giving off this dark vibe like he's saying, hey, look, I didn't come here for nothing. I'm waiting. One or two of you are coming with me. That's cute. So they say he hovered up there on the road. roof for near an hour. And then he walked on down to the street level, too, and he lurked around. They say here, making scary noises as folks walk by.

What, dude? Pum, brum, brum, boom. Ashley, give a couple examples of scary noises he might have made. Don't pull me on the spot like that. She's got nothing. I'm pregnant. Oh, that's a scary noise. The baby is yours.

People are telling me it's not a sickle. It's a scythe. Oh. That the Grim Reaper halls around? Oh, I've heard that term. Yeah, I don't know. We're getting technical now. It doesn't matter.

You know what I'm talking about. The blade, the thing on the, it's got a thing. Yeah, it's thinny thin. So this got on enough people's nerves, this Grim Reaper act, got on enough people's nerves to where they up and called the cops. it doesn't sound like this guy was trying to be funny because if he was I give him well you'll understand here in a minute

if he was trying to be cute and funny I give him full credit that's a clever bit unfortunately the guy's just totally out of his mind let me tell you what I have here now when the police asked him what are you doing what's up with this grim reaper routine

he didn't really have an answer for him okay and then out of nowhere's he strangely admitted to the cops that he stole some cat food and some cat litter

from the general store what are you doing here dude what's with the grim reaper outfit dead silence and then he says I stole some cat food and some cat litter

and the cop said okay What's up with the Grim Reaper bit, dude? He couldn't tell him anything about that. At that point, the cops got to be kind of creeped out. Yeah. Well, he did have sort of an answer. So anyway, Grim Reaper dude has had his court date already.

What should say here, Josh? He was... Get out of the refrigerator. He did something. You used to pay attention to the show. I'm paying attention. From 540. I'm just stressed about it.

Now, you're constantly ducking in and out of your friggin refrigerated. I heard what you said. Give us a call. Name the phrase that pays. I heard everything you said. Fraise that pays. Do they still do the phrase that pays? I don't know, but I hadn't thought about that in a long time. You're always snacking. Look at yourself. Well, no, this is a beverage. It's different. A little early for that, isn't it, Josh? All right. So the Grim Reaper dude, he went to court. He was charged with being a nuisance. What are you doing? Nothing. He's reaching for the refrigerator again. Okay, so, and here's where, again, I'm a little disappointed.

If this guy would have said, you know, I'm just trying to be funny. I would have said, yeah, and it worked. But no, he's just nuts. He said he wasn't trying to scare folks, and he wasn't actually dressed as the Grim Reaper at all. He said he was trying to be a bird. If that's the case, he's either never seen the Grim Reaper or never seen a bird. Never seen a bird. Yeah.

So, he just, this is the neighborhood lunatic. No, he's definitely the Grim Reefel. I love that. I mean, he's standing up on top of the hospital just. It is a pretty clever bit. Oh. Grim Reaper. Did you ever get into their, did you ever get into their music?

Grim, no. No, I see you in hell? Yeah. I've seen him on Headbanger's Ball before. Actually, you know what I've been doing? I've been watching those on YouTube. Did you know they have full episodes on YouTube? Of Headbanger's Ball?

Yes, but I, yes, I have. I've found full episodes of Headbangers Ball. Yeah, that's really cool. I haven't really dedicated myself to sitting and watching. I fast forward a lot. Yeah. But there's some bands that, you know, you kind of forget about. See you and hell.

I think their singer recently died. Grim Reaper. You know what troubled me about Grim Reaper when I first saw their music videos, Josh? What's that? their guitar player was left-handed. Oh, you don't see that too often. Yeah. It always annoyed me. Oh, you were even annoyed?

I never, I could never take a band seriously if they had a left-handed guitar player. It didn't look right. I just, I never approved of left-handed guitar player. What about Jimmy Hendrens? That's what I get all the time. Well, Paul McCartney, isn't he left-handed? Yes.

Oh, you're not a fan? He plays the bass guitar. But anyway. Well, he's left-handed. Kirk Cobain. Poor lefties. Oh, wait, what am I saying? Right.

I don't like the grunge movement. I mean, this is just something that occurred to me when I was a kid. Now, obviously, I don't care what handed. But when I was a kid, when I'd see a rock band on television or in person, and there was a left-handed guitar player, I would say to myself, ah, that's not right. And I'm not trying to be cute with that. It just didn't look right to me.

I was the same way in video games back in the day. I couldn't play with the left-handed quarterback. It just kind of threw off what I'm used to. You see, I always thought left-handed quarterbacks were kind of cool looking. Cool looking, but tough when you're trying to beat your buddies and madden. Oh, I guess I don't know much about that. What about in real life? Oh, yeah, real life, they're great.

But, yeah, in the video game world, it kind of just threw me off a little bit. Sure. But, yeah, there was something about left-handed guitar players. Tony Iommi? Didn't like it. Okay. I mean, again, I have all the respect in the world for a guy like Tony Ayomi and the music. Certainly, I know that's not what you're saying.

But just the appearance of it looks odd to me. I always, go switch it over to the other side. What are you doing? There's a, shoot, who is it? There is a famous guitar player who was left-handed but played right-handed. Who was that? I have no idea. Jeff Beck?

Was Jeff Beck naturally left-handed, but he played right? It's somebody like that of that caliber. Yeah, so whenever I bring this up, people always say, Tony, I owe me, Jimmy. And don't get me wrong, those guys are wonderful talents. It just, I don't like the sight of it. Here's a world that I know absolutely nothing about. diving and whatnot, like folks who dive for treasures

or dive for lobsters and such. The ocean. You guys know I hate the ocean. You scuba dived once. I did. Yeah, I didn't like it. You didn't like it? Yeah.

I scuba dived once. I snorkeled once. I didn't like snorkeling at all. I don't. I've said it before I'll say it again. I mean, I tried those activities, but I want nothing to do with whatever happens in the stupid, overrated ocean.

It's none of our business. It isn't. Ashley's with me The ocean is stupid It's overrated and it's stupid It's just terrifying, dude I don't mess with that Nope

We don't belong in there Nope Anyways Down there in the relentless Farth Southeastern part of the United States Down there

Whichever ocean they've got down that way A feather's been accused Of attempted murder They say that he should shut off the air supply that was hooked up to a teenage kid who was lobster diving or whatever. What a psychopath. You got to hear the whole smear, yeah. Maybe the kid had it coming.

He didn't. And this was all because of an argument over a diving spot. Like around here, a derelict might try to kill you dead, Josh, over a parking spot. Down there, they have added over diving spots. You got one guy's looking for treasure, one guy's looking for seafood or whatever. I don't know what they do. Fishing spots, I'm sure you've seen near fights there. I've seen a couple of those.

Oh, yeah. Where do I go with this? Yeah, the dickbag looking at the murder charge, his name is Michael. So, you know, two boats came rolling up to the same diving spot. This 18-year-old kid was there to catch himself some lobsters. And he puts on all the scuba gear and he goes diving down there. Michael is one of those Jay Barones who thinks he's special

and like Josh just made the reference to I'm sure there are plenty of fishermen and women in our listening audience who have encountered delusional self-centered asshats at fishing spots right here in the great state of Minnesota

hey that's my spot no it isn't so anyway while the kid was down on the ocean floor with his scuba set up and he had an air hose you know, that went from his yapper all the way up to his boat, Michael pulls up, hops off his boat,

onto the kid's boat, and cuts off the kid's oxygen supply. Could have killed the kid. Does that seem like something you must have thought of before, or is he just that good at improv? Oh, I mean, this guy, this Michael guy, is a diver, so I'm sure he's very skilled with all of the equipment. Even so just to come up with something like that. He's probably done it before.

Oh, maybe, maybe, yeah, he's even gone through with it. The kid was able to come back up to the surface before he ran out of wind. Michael hopped back onto his boat and took off like a little bitch. Shortly thereafter, he was beaten and arrested. On a cute side note, it says here that Michael used to be a member of the local boater safety task force. Hmm, probably not no more. Now, I suppose it is worth mentioning that Michael's lawyer says that the whole smear is a complete and total lie. Michael did nothing wrong.

That's what they're going for? Yes, yes. Wow. It says here, competition over productive lobster spots can sometimes lead to disputes down there on the ocean where Ashley and I know we do not belong. Yep. Ashley, Chemical Jesus says that's none of our business should be a T-shirt for the state fair. I love that. I agree.

So a photo of the ocean on the front. Like a shark or something. Sure. And then on the back it says none of our business? None of our business. Me and my family, the one vacation we've ever taken in our lifetimes was to the Virgin Islands. And so it was like the one big tropical vacation. and I never really, I didn't really think about it much before we went.

Like I didn't really think about the ocean or sharks or anything like that. And while we were there, you kind of just get caught up in the moment. And we were a cliff jumping. And it was super cool, like into the ocean. And then it hit me as we were doing that, how scary the ocean was. I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden out of nowhere, I was like, what are we doing? This is terrified. There could be sharks here everywhere.

They could be there. And yeah, then it ruined the rest of the trip. It dawned on you suddenly that you did. not belong. Yep. I was like, this is not right. Listener wants to know, Josh, if you've ever gone muff diving. Josh, the left-handed guitar player, the left-handed who plays right-handed, were you thinking of Mark Knopfler from Dyer Straits? That's one, yeah. I got to look that. I forgot to look at it.

Did you know that I've never turned off, Sultans of Swing? I've never turned it off. I've listened to it in its entirety every time. I did not know that. I refused. to turn off sultans of swing because it's that much of a brilliant masterpiece. I think if you turn off sultons of swing, you should be fined and suspended. All right, I think this is who I was thinking of, Steve Morse. From yes? Like the Dixie Draggs. Oh, I got a different Steve in mine.

He was in Deep Purple for a bit. Okay, I'm not familiar with Steve Morse. He was in like guitar player magazine or one of those I used to read all the time. I was amazed and still am amazed that you can do that. Here's a text. You got to have, you got to be amphibious. Definitely. For that.

Here's a text that says ocean bad, shark scary. Very true. Very succinct too. Moving on here in the stupid newsreber. I think this would be an interesting story, even if the word beaver wasn't a longstanding slang term for Vaj. I think this would be interesting even if Beaver wasn't a slang term for a birgina. But it is.

I hope the story is interesting. I guess we'll see. New York City has its fair share of giant rodents, a big fat ass, baby eating rats. Honestly, I've heard some stomach-turning stories about rats in New York City. They'll straight up eat the ear off of your baby if nobody's looking. Yeah, I've heard that too. Your baby is kind of crying, and the baby sounds like you go, and then a rat is eating the ear or the toe off of your baby.

They have to have put rat protection around the crib. Anyways, you probably don't think Beave when you think New York City, but they got a friggin problem over there. It says here, New York and New Jersey are supposedly being terrorized by rabid beavers. that are beating the piss out of swimmers and fishermen. Multiple folks have had they ass bit by the beev ski. So if you get out in the water off of New York or New Jersey, keep an eye out.

Wildlife experts in New York say that rabid beavers are incredibly rare. They also don't typically carry rabies around. But there's a few. the wildlife dorks say that even if you do encounter a beaver, they're not difficult to avoid. They say you can shake them pretty easily because they're chubby and kind of stupid.

I thought they're pretty good swimmers. They are. Yeah. They are. But they're talking about if you get into a hand fight with one of them, they say you can ditch it pretty. They're kind of fat.

They're kind of dumb. That's what the wildlife experts say. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't think that. They seem really smart. They're the experts. but with that said the wildlife people go on to say

you don't want to pick a fight with a bevington because their teeth are tough as balls and like Josh just said they can swim like a bitch but they're not usually aggressive unless you somehow invade their cute little underground houses

or try to hurt one of those little baby beavers I had a beaver that I thought was going to beat my ass once it was when I was talking about the boundary water earlier. I was up in the Boudry waters and we were fishing and I thought we like heard something behind us and I was like oh it sounded like a fish jumped up so we cast that way and then we heard something

behind us again and so we turned it on that way and I was like okay this is kind of weird at this point and so we like cast just to see what would happen and then again behind us a beaver was pissed because we kept you know casting our dropping our lure on top of them

he's like what the heck leave me alone he was like flapping his tail he was so pissed off but It was so cool seeing that. You thought maybe you were in some danger at that point? Yeah. Oh, 100%. Because we were like close to like a, you know, kind of like a woodsy,

an area where he would definitely build a little home. So more or less they're saying beavers generally aren't a terrible problem. They're not going to swim up and start trouble with you right from the get-go. They're not known for this. But currently there's a couple of wildcard beavers in the wall. somewhere in New York, New Jersey, who are beating the piss out of folks, biting them on their ass cheeks and whatnot. You got any future plans to hit that boundary waters, Ashley?

No, probably not. Okay, well, if you do, and you see one of those otters, tell them I said to kiss my ass. No, I love the otters. Yeah, you do, you naive. I love that part. You're a child. They do a lot of damage them otters, Ashley. My brother had to replace the wiring on his pontoon twice.

Oh, seriously? What? That's that much of an honor problem? That's kind of hilarious. They're dicks. And they will take their medicine someday. You're playing the long game. I appreciate that about you.

Whisko Latin lover Jesus texted in to say beavers are tougher than woodpecker lips. Sounds like he's out of scrap or two, this guy. What is this? Can we get rid of this one too? Oh, I suppose this is, oh, yeah, I want it. I want it. This is important. I thought about throwing it away, but now I just remembered that this could turn into something.

No big thing here. I suppose if something's going to go wrong while a porta potty is being hauled down the highway on a flatbed trailer, this is probably the best case scenario. A truck hauling a porta potty got pulled over by police in Arizona for, quote, ejecting toilet paper rolls all over the interstate. That's kind of fun. I like how they phrase that. I'm guessing there was probably rolls and rolls a ass wipe inside the crapper and the door flew open

and it turned the whole works into a 75 mile per hour TP job. Just rolls a toilet. You know how they kind of cascade? So the local cops have gone ahead and used this incident as a warning that failing to secure your load can put you in danger and other drivers this. So the reason I wanted to bring it up is I bet we could have some fun with this. I bet our listeners have some great answers for this question.

What have you lost out the back of your pickup or trailer? Tell us what happened. What have you lost out the back of the pickup or off the ass end of your trailer? 651-9-9-933. That's our Luther Cia Blumen. I want to see where we can go with this. I know one day I was going camp, speaking of camping, I was going to Rockfest.

And I had the bed of my pickup loaded with all my camping gear and the coolers of beer and chairs. And I was going about 80 miles per hour towards Rockfest. suddenly one of the plastic chairs that I thought I had secured in the back of my pickup went, whew, like it was shot out of a cannon. The wind picked up that chair and crapped it out the back of my, I mean, it had to been 100 feet in the air. I just braced myself. Oh, God, I've just killed somebody.

And I looked in my rear view of mirror. It missed all the vehicles and it bounced around. And it went in the, so I lost a chair once and it was one of the most exciting but yet nerve-wracking moments of my adult life. I've never lost anything, thankfully. 651-9-9-9-3-93. I know you've got a story. What have you lost out the back of your trailer or your pickup?

A four-wheeler, someone says. Oh, no. That's an expensive boner. Oh, I always feel bad when you see the person, or when there's like a boat on the side of the road. Hmm? Oh, yeah. Somebody loses their boat.

Oh, boat came off the trailer. It comes right off the trailer or something. I'll be done. Sports on the 93 eggs half-assed morning show. Oh, wow. The twins got a win last night. They needed that one. By God, they did.

Beat the Royals come from behind win. Four to three. Brooks Lee got a two-run single there in the eighth inning that helped the boys get that win. So they salvage one from that series in Missouri. Now they got to take on the damn brew crew. Border battle, Cubby. Yeah, they'll divide a house.

Twins, Brewers, and Wisco for the first of three tonight. Drive safe out there, Twins fans. I know there's a lot of you that make that frigging road trip. Joe Ryan's got something wrong with his ass. Yeah, he does. He came back into town, saw a doctor, and they said, yeah, he's got an ass injury. He's got a glute problem. Oh, no.

Yeah, something wrong with his ass. What are you going to do about it? Maybe a little deep tissue massage? Probably. No. I was talking to Ashley, Josh. That's my husband's guy. He's got a crush on him, yeah.

The Lynx lost a game last night. There's lots and lots going on. And all right, I'll be honest with you. What? I was reading all these text messages about people, what they lost out the back of their pickup or off the trailer, and I didn't really prepare Dick Tracy for this sports report. That's okay.

It's understandable. F off date. They're insane. We've all been drinking a little bit. Josh's news is coming up next. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard. and air conditioning.

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Years of hard work, and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your shoulders, knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Schaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to BialkiLaw.com. That's BIA-L-E-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Mike Drodd, hosted by former Navy SEAL, Mike Ridley. What is your take? Was it what you're excited? I expected. I was the best thing ever.

It was something I always wanted to do. If you show me a clear goal, I'm like, okay, I can do that. Master Chief, he's like, you realize there's about 1% chance that you're making it through. 1%. That's all I need Master Chief. My platoon went home early, and I just went up to my chief, and I was like, I'm not going home. Turns out I'm staying. That's when we go to war. I was like, okay, I could get used to this.

Mike drop. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. You're listening to the radio. The 93X Half-Hast Morning Show. UPS 2218 heavy contact Indies Center, 126.37. Going to Indy, 126, 3,77. A UPS pilot took off from Kentucky last Friday and landed with a story that'll likely follow him the rest of his career. The cargo flight was headed for Milwaukee when it hit something around 5,000 feet.

The pilot got in touch with air traffic control and said he thought it was a drone or maybe a balloon. Climb to 5,000, we struck possibly a drone or. balloon. Neither one of us got a good look at it, but it definitely was not a bird. A balloon? Possibly like a weather balloon. UPS has built a slogan around what can Brown do for you? You're kind of built like a weather balloon. Oh, no. You finally did it. You made him cry on. Josh, come on. I mean, you know, I know you didn't mean it, but I'm sorry. Sensitive. I'm sorry. Sensitive about it.

It's a toxic work environment. Yes, it is a toxic work environment. I never heard a weather balloon talk before. Chances of crying on the way home, fair to certain. Good Lord. Nobody at headquarters was picturing what transpired next. Turns out the plane was fine. The pilot's tidy whitties?

Not so much. Okay. I mean, you probably can't tell if you got any damage, correct? Yeah, pressurations is in spine and everything. There's no damage as far as we can tell. Okay, no alarm is going off or anything, any lights? Just need new underwear, that's all. Yep, pilot got scared enough.

He pooped his pants. Oh, no. By his own account, the impact was loud enough. His body decided it was an emergency and reacted accordingly. Can't blame him at all. No, that would freak me out. Yeah, I'd be inconsolable in the moment. He told air traffic control what had happened in his pants live on the aircraft.

radio. UPS later confirmed the real culprit a bird strike and the pilot confirmed his bowels made an unscheduled departure in his pants. He said he experienced a few bird strikes in his career but this one was much louder and at a much higher altitude.

He said upon arrival he found bird guts all over the jet. What was the bird doing up that high then? What you're saying it's the birds fall? Yeah if he said they're usually not up that high. He did say it's definitely not a bird. Shouldn't have been flying there.

Not every flight report includes play-by-play reporting of sudden turd bilance. This one did, however. Every bird strike gets reported to the FAA, and there are roughly 15,000 of them a year. That's too many. I don't like that stat. That's what brought down Alec Baldwin and what was his name. Charles?

Was he on the plane? Yeah, Charles. Who played Charles again, that famous actor of the guy, from Silence of the Lambs. Oh my gosh. That's what brought them down in maybe the greatest American movie ever made called The Edge. It was a bird strike. What the hell was his name?

We just have to not think about it for a second. It'll come to us. We've warned you before. If you watch The Edge with a friend who says, hey, why don't you take a drink every time they say Charles in this movie, they're trying to kill you. Come on. Old English guy.

Yeah. He was in the movie about the elephant man. Mr. Bean? It's not Mr. Bean. It's right there. He's guys famous as heck. Silence of the lambs. He was the bad guy.

Yeah, it's driving me nuts. People are probably screaming at their steering. Chrissy. I'm sorry. No, it's a guy's name. Tessie, Lester. It's not Lester. Anthony Hopkins.

Anthony Hopkins. That's it. Well, there were never any suggestions the UPS flight had an encounter with a little green man piloting a UFO. On this day, 30 years ago, NASA got the word talking about a world that is, talking about whether there might have been little green microbes on Mars, August 7th, 1996. Little green microbes. Pause on Mars. Yeah, sorry, it's the weather balloon in me. That's how we talk.

I've never heard a weather balloon speak before, but that's just the way we do it. No, dramatic pauses. and August 7th, 1996, NASA scientists announced there was possibly life on Mars 3.6 billion years ago. Oh, boy. Nearly three decades before that announcement from NASA in 1969, a musician named Jim Sullivan recorded an album called UFO, which featured strange lyrics about leaving his family and being abducted by aliens. Oh, yeah. He disappeared six years later without a trace. He did not.

He did. His anus is being probed somewhere in outer space. He wrote that song. You think they're still teeing off on him? Probably. Hell, it's been 60 years. They'll keep him around. He wrote a song about being abducted by aliens and then next, you know, he's gone.

Yeah, he disappeared. Family has no idea what happened to him. There was only evidence of an abandoned car. They found it on a desert road. Well, he had his big hit, and that was the end of it. A Southern California man led his cat loose on a lady over the weekend. Are we talking about weaponizing a cat again? Specifically, a cat diesel heavy machinery.

Christ, I was hoping again we would get a story. That was so fun. I love the stories of people throwing cats at each other. I had high hopes, but this is his cat diesel power. Yeah, he used it to repeatedly crush the woman's car with her still inside. 38-year-old Levi Gazi. Ex-girlfriend, ex-wife? You know what?

It's unclear. Like I saw some comments suggesting that, but I didn't see it in a couple stories. All right. He rammed the vehicle multiple times with a front loader around 12.03 a.m. Saturday. The attack was so violent, he Cabota killed her. Thankfully, though, the woman managed to escape the mangled vehicle without suffering serious injuries. Like I said, I wish I had more info, but authorities didn't reveal the cause of the quarrel, which led up to that incident. Who is that lady?

It's got to be some sort of failed relationship, don't you think? Yeah. Unless he's just picking out random folks. She'd done him wrong in his mind. What do you call a trophy in the shape of a cat's butt? A catastrophe. Meanwhile, since we're on the subject of weaponizing farm equipment, another tractor tantrum played out in Florida last month.

A 52-year-old man tried to ram the vehicle of a roadside crew and threatened to run over the workers because he didn't like their flashing safety lights. He thought they were too near his property. Shortly after the confrontation, he returned with the tractor and attempted to make good on that promise. The victim showed police cell phone video

in which the man threatened to flip over one of their vehicles with his tractor. But, oh, John Deere, the tractor got stuck and ended the attempted attack. It's clear as they right here. The ground stopped his fork. Yeah, because he went too low.

Yeah, he said he was going to flip a shot. The neighbor sure didn't like the guy. That bloody murderous idiot. You don't have to like him, but you do have to respect him. That is the law. That's the law. I don't know about that. You do have to respect it.

I didn't know there was a respect law. Yeah. It's new. I've never been cited for that. Deputies tracked the tractor to a nearby property, and they arrested him shortly after. You don't have to like him, but you have to respect him. That is the law. That's the law.

I love them. I love them. A Palm Coast Florida woman is facing charges after deputy said she recruited some unlikely help for a shoplifting spree. Her nine-year-old daughter, according to the... Slick idea, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, you're probably not going to think that. According to the sheriff's office, store security, watch the pair walk into a target and then walk out with unpaid merchandise.

Some of it stuffed in a cute little pink backpack. Deputy said the mom forgot to scan several items at self-checkout before making her. exit. Police identified the woman as 48-year-old Lisa de Benedictus, who seemingly Benedictist's entire time, as court records say she has a rap sheet busier than a mosquito at a nudist colony. Benedictor, denibictus, excuse me, is charged with theft and contributing to the delinquency of a child. As for the child's role in all this, police say the daughter refused to nap so she was guilty of resisting a rest. The sticky-finger mother. Jesus, what are you doing to us? That was perfect.

Are you mad at somebody or something? No, I'm not, that's my Friday. You're just hammering us this morning. It's my Friday. Sometimes a goal is to make someone snap. She was taken to the Sheriff Perry Hall Inmate Detention Facility. Two blockbusters powered the biggest box office weekend ever last week.

I mean, earlier you said, oh, John Deere. Yeah, I did. I said, Cabota killed her. Wondering if you're on some kind of revenge tour or something. I like that one. No, not at all. Not at all. I'll get you. I'll get you, my pretty. Didn't you call me a weather balloon earlier?

You're kind of built like a old rusty weather balloon. You don't even know what a weather balloon looks like. You know how I know that? I don't either. Oh. It's just a big balloon? Yeah, essentially. That's all it is? Uh-huh.

That's disappointing. Big greasy, hairy. How'd I get greasy? Weather balloon. I'm not hairy. Spider-Man, brand new day, broke the record for the biggest North American opening weekend, previously held by Avengers Endgame. Meanwhile, Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey

added another $51 million helping deliver the biggest box office weekend in the history. Did you consider trying that Odyssey gimmick just yet? I do want to watch that. Still haven't seen it. You enjoyed it outside of the decibel level? I didn't know what was going on. I had very little idea what was going on.

But, you know, there were swords and big giant creatures and this and that, so I was well entertained. But yes, if you go see it in the Super Theater, like the high dollar, this sounds better than the average theater theater, wear ear plugs, or you won't make it. There's no way I could have stayed for the entire movie had to not be wearing those ear plugs. Because it was such a big weekend in the theater, they named it Spytacy, you know, the combination of Spider-Man and the Odyssey. Oh, I got it. Surpassed the previous record holder, Barbenheimer, the cultural... The phenomenon, the Internet meme created around the simultaneous theatrical release of two completely different movies, Barbie and Oppenheimer.

And once the Internet starts naming things, it doesn't stop. Fans have been going back and crowning other massive box office weekends retroactively, like 2024's Glickett. Gladiator 2 and Wicked. Oh, my God. The year 2023 alone gave us two of them. Saw Patrol with Saw X and Paw Patrol, The Mighty Movie. Come on, that's a reach. Awesome.

I like this one. and Exerswift, The Exorcist, Believer, and Taylor Swift's The Eres Tour. Now Hollywood is looking to keep that momentum going with some new options in theaters and streaming this week. So cut a hole in the bottom of your popcorn bucket and grab a hold because Broken Lizard is back in Super Troopers 3. The third film in the franchise follows the troopers as they try to bring down a new drug ring, while Farva's wildly over-the-top engagement to Thorny's sister spirals in the case. Deanna, did you go to a preview of this or anything? I've not seen it yet. I'm going to catch it this weekend, though, for sure.

Okay, I know sometimes you go to those. So I was wondering. No, I didn't catch this one, unfortunately. If you prefer your comedy with a sexy sci-fi spin. What? One night only thrusts into two New Yorkers into searching for real love on the only night of the year when sex is legal. Oh, right. People have been, like, making this joke all over social media, and I haven't understood it at all. I didn't know it was a reference to anything.

This makes sense now. Okay, thank you. You just saved me a lot of time and effort there. Hey, anything I can do. What happened? So there's a, you know, like the purge? It's like the purge, but with private parts merging. Who are the big stars involved in this one?

I didn't really know the names of these. Oh. Monica Barbaro? Monica Barbaro. Barbaro? Not raining any bells. Caleb Turner? Turner?

My hawk's in that thing. Who's Hawk? Maya Hawk. She's Ethan Hawk's daughter. LeVar Barton. Oh, I like him. Yeah. Molly Ringwald?

F me. I was just watching her. I guess I have heard to some of those people. Molly Ringwald. I just saw her on television the other night. Oh, was she talking about like her favorite movie and least favorite movie? No, I was watching the Breakfast Club for the 438th time. Oh, yeah.

She was doing interviews, and she talked about. Well, that's great that she's still working. Yeah, definitely. Horror. She's no spring chicken, you know. No. She's probably what, a few years older than, well, both of us, maybe. Horror fans are in for a dark, twisted summer delight with Eli Roth's ice cream

man, a slasher film where a small town descends into murderous madness after a sinister ice cream man begins serving up tainted treats with horrifying results. Clicking over to Netflix for a dose of claustrophobic suspense, the last house traps a family of four inside their own home with no way out, forcing them to fight for survival against whatever mysterious looming threat is keeping them locked inside. Also arriving on Netflix Alley Cats, the new adult animated comedy series featuring six 15-minute episodes

following feral cats seeking companionship while navigating everyday life. All right, swearing talking cats. The star of one of my favorite shows, David Duchovny, Fox Mulder, on The X-Files is 66. The Voice of One of My Favorite Bands, Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson, 68. He's timeless, though, isn't he, Judge? He can still bring it. Timeless.

I can't believe how much energy that guy has. For his age. He must drink red for any. He drinks Red Bull. Yeah, he's a couple of those, doesn't he? Has won a Super Bowl. Eagles QB. Jalen Hertz, 28. Has not won a Super Bowl, but maybe this is the year.

Vikings QB.1 or maybe two or not too sure yet, I guess. Kyler Murray 29. Happy birthday to my brother turning 50 tomorrow. Still can't grow facial hair. And happy 54th to Ziggy, MGD Drinker Jesus from Hillman Welder Jesus. You're talking about your brother turns 50? My brother, yeah. You guys having a big party?

Yeah, we're going out to a nice little. See that Talking Cats movie? That'd be so cute. Just you and him. Nope, we're not going to do that. No. We don't want to spend that much time together. Tell him I said happy birthday.

I haven't seen him in a long time. I will. That's very nice of you. I like them. Yeah, he's a good guy. He's all right. He's the best bittany there is. No.

You agree, though, he can't grow facial hair right. You've seen it. There's not much about his appearance that he does right. No, not at all. Now that you mention it, it is pretty bad. I'll make sure he knows that tomorrow, you know, being a feather. He struggles with that. Excuse me, a fellow weather balloon.

Whatever. That's 93x News. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder. On the half-ass morning show. Randy Shaver, Brad Ryder. Good morning. of Bronys. Good morning, good morning.

Good morning. I'll be damned. It's our final final. It's the Friday program. And my goodness, I really, uh, when I got out the sack this morning, I thought this might be another one of those days where it might be tough to fill all the time that we do set aside. But some football stories popped up this morning. There's some good stuff.

And of course, you know us. It's not going to be, hey, who's starting at? cornerback for the there is some there's some characters out there that I'm looking forward to covering with you gentlemen football related uh did you spend any time watching oh god the hall of fame game last night yes you did why why did you do that because I drafted Carson Beck in my dynasty league I don't know what that means I knew it had to be gambling related didn't understand a word that you just said yeah I don't know Carson Beck was the starting quarterback for Arizona last night.

He was the third quarterback chosen in the draft this year, and I chose him as part of my dynasty football league this year in the draft. I wanted to watch him play. I got a nickname for him, Randy Shaver, already.

I've never even heard of the kid. Never seen him play football, but I got a nickname for him. All right. Carson put the candle back I think you should add that to your roster for your dynasty league. Well, your dynasty league, that means you hang on to them as long as you're in the league or as long as they're in the league, right?

Correct. Way to go, Brad. Well, I'm just trying. It was my attempt to because I had a birthday earlier this week at a lame age joke with Randy. So, you know, how much longer will Randy, in the league or how much no, that's a very good question. Will Carson Beck be in the league? Will I outlive

Carson Bex's a 10 year in the league? Come on, let's be realistic. How much time do you really have left, Randy Shaver? That's a legitimate question. It is. It is. All right, I'm glad you enjoyed the ball game. Especially the way things are going, yes. Yeah. Let's start with, but let's continue on with baseball because the twins needed that win last night. Oh, a monster win. Yeah.

Beautiful come from, behind win. Brooks Lee, two-run single in the eighth. That helped the boys to a four-three win over the Kansas City Royals last night. The twins trailed 3-1 in the eighth when that comeback kicked in. So they put a lid on this four-game losing streak, and they're right there in the mix with the other 14 American League ball clubs looking for a wild card spot. That's true. Royce Lewis showed off the dong. That prick has an 11-game hitting streak, don't you know, Royce Lewis. Yeah. The bullpen, the bullpen, they held their mud.

Yandris Gomez struck out two in the ninth for his 15th saves. So now they move on to Wisco. Oh, big series in Milwaukee. They got the border battle earlier we wished all of our twin spans in our listing audience, a safe drive out there to Milwaukee. First of three tonight. Does Milwaukee currently have a better record than the Los Angeles Dodgers? Yeah, by about three games.

By three games. The Dodgers are on a losing streak right now. Oh, yeah, you mentioned that a day or two ago. Six in a row. Yeah, the Dodgers are struggling right now. The Braves have a better record than them, too. I was just about to say that. The Dodgers have the third best record in the National League.

Well, F me running. Oh, they'll miss the playoffs, I'm sure. Someday they will. All right, so Joe Ryan's got something wrong with his ass. He's got a glute strain. and I didn't see any window of time as to how long they expect Joe to have to rest those cheeks before he can get back out there on the bump,

but we found out, yeah, it's a glute strain. Long term, it's better than anything with his arm or shoulder or upper body. Right. I suppose that's a good point. But the timing of it right now sucks because the twins really need him in that rotation, even though he hasn't pitched out all that well since the All-Star break. but they still need his presence out there. So it's going to be a struggle.

They called up Zebby Matthews and he has not had a good year. Twins are going to have to kind of piece some things together here. But it's fun. I mean, you've got one, two, three, four, five, six, six teams within three and a half games of the final wild card spot. That's crazy. I mean, there's a lot of scoreboard watching to take place over the next two months. You know, if you had six teams within like two or three of those spots, that's one thing.

But two of those three spots are pretty much taken. Yeah, they're locked. Yes, there's one. Yeah, they're locked in. So you've got all six teams battling just for one spot. That's correct. Well, there's actually seven teams battling for the one spot. Somebody's got to get in there.

By God, somebody's got to. And that includes Toronto, who's eight guys. games under 500 and the tigers who i think we've all kind of written off and they're only a game out of the wild card so it's just it's nuts it certainly is i got to give full credit to the san francisco giants despite this bizarre ass situation that they're having to deal with with that goofy harrison bader character they're keeping their spirits up and having a good time of course again, is Harrison Bader. Allegedly got a little drunk a few nights ago,

got on his electric scooter, crashed into a fire truck on the streets of San Francisco, and then got run over by the fire truck. He was hoping to come back to play baseball, but getting run over by a fire truck, put him right back on the friggin' injured list. What an embarrassment. But the San Francisco Giants,

probably because they're a last place ball club. Eh, they're not too worried about it. Funny highlight from a ball game last night. A Giants rookie by the name of Daniel, Seussack. Oh, what did he do? He hit a double against the Texas Rangers. And you know how these days in Major League Baseball, well, all the way down to high school baseball, every team's got their little signal that they send to each other when they get

on base. And then everyone's got their little celebration in the dugout that's been a gimmick now for years. It's cute. Some of them are kind of annoying. But most of it's cute. I get it. So this Daniel Susack rookie for the Giants, he cracks a double. And when he got on seventh base, isn't a real thing. Is it a John? That's going really far. I found that out the hard way. Older kids were messing with me.

You were trying like hell to get the seventh base. Where is it? I'm exhausted. When the kid got on second base, he made a very obvious gesture. He mimicked driving an electric scooter. That's pretty good. He cracks a smile. Everybody in the dugouts laughing.

Harrison Bader's at home watching on television going, you sons of bitches. God, that's beautiful. Gave a little gesture like he was riding his electric scooter. Kind of kicking. Here I go. Yeah, did he kick away? Yeah, kicking away.

What a pimp. Mm. All right. Do we have that video up on 93X.com? I believe so. I can't remember fascist. It's not the end of the world. It's Friday.

Who care? The Philadelphia Phillies organization went ahead and held a unique, fundraiser auction type of a thing. What was it yesterday, day before we were talking about a college football team, Akron University. Yeah, the Zips. The Zips. They were going to give a season ticket holder.

This is still a real thing. They're giving a season ticket holder a chance to sit down with the head coach and write up the plays for their very first drive of their season opener. Cute little opportunity for a fan to get involved. similar, the Phillies had this fundraiser, and the top bidder won the opportunity to call an inning of Phillies baseball on the radio. Now, again, this was in return for a sizable donation to one of the team's charities. Now, you would think this is great, you know, raising money for folks in need, great idea, very unique idea. but you would think it's kind of going to sound like a disaster, right? To throw some rookie into the mix, live on the radio to call an inning of Phillies baseball.

But the dude, by the name of Lewis Calb, he's reportedly a substitute teacher, sat down, and the some bitch sounded like he'd been waiting for this moment since the day he came out the shoot. Looking very steps of the plate, an opportunity to... No, that's Brad Ryder. Sorry, I could have predicted that. I get my buttons confused over here. I think this is the right. That was Brad Ryder calling a college baseball game or a high school baseball.

High schools. And it was a disaster. Listen to this effing guy, day one, never sat in front of a mic before in his lifetime. We're pleased to welcome Lewis Cobb. He is our Philly's fantastic auction winner to spend an inning and do some play-by-play in the boot. And Lewis, welcome. Thank you, Scott. It's a thrill to be here.

It's a lifelong dream to be in the Philly's broadcast booth. So here we go. Pater with the first pitch to Ortiz. It's in there for Strike 1 call. Fills with two in the bottom of the second to take the lead. As we start the top of the third, now Peter delivers. It's bounced foul, and they count one in one. Phillies in the first two games of this series.

One more to go tomorrow night, and then the three game set with the Blue Jays over the weekend. Now, Peter delivers. It's a called strike three. He got him. Seems like he's been doing it his whole career. I think he's been trying too hard to perfect that radio voice. Yes. I think he's just mimicking somebody.

Brad, don't do that. It's true. I can vary steps to the plate. An opportunity to drive in another one. Shut it. 10 feet of me while I'm doing that. And you found out what, five minutes before the game you were doing? Wait a minute, wait a minute.

So you struggled because you had 10 people paying. attention to you. This guy had hundreds of thousands of people listening to him. Yeah, but they weren't sitting with him. You're so jealous, it's disgusting. This guy sounded like a frigging pro. So he puked a little bit. Come on, Brad. Give the guy credit. I thought it was a bit

at first. Like, oh, they're going to reveal he's a professional broadcast. Yeah. Right, right. Is Vince Scully's nephew. So, I mean, he sounded like a pro. I'm kind of wondering if he had a prior experience? I think he's just listened to

guys on the radio. He's just kind of mimicking those voices. But wait a minute. Brad, you're not impressed by this? You still have this tone to your voice? I'm impressed by his preparation. I mean, he was even

filling in the weekend schedule in between pitches. I mean, I am impressed by the preparation. I think the voice is a little bit construed, a little bit made up. I don't think he talks like that. He doesn't talk like this when he's talking to his wife at home. But Brad, that's nine out of ten sports announcers. That's not necessarily. No.

Well, I think a lot of people, when they first get on the mic, that's how they are. They think they need to be that way. Wouldn't you say that in our experience? Like, some people just think, well, I got to talk like that. Yes. Yes. Say, newscasters, too. Yes, they do. Randy, you probably have noticed that. Oh, sure. New reporters. All I'm saying is the guy puked a little bit. We all know that. But he deserves a lot of credit for what he did. I mean, Christ, remember John Gordon?

Fowl ball down the right field line. But we all love John Gordon. Yeah, we love John. That's actually how John talked in real life, too. That's right. Is that true? Yeah, it is true, absolutely. That is how John talked.

So you're saying when you said, hey, John, come on over. He'd say, I'll be there in 10 minutes. He really sounded like that in pretty much. He really did. Yeah. The Los Angeles Sparks ended the links. end game winning streak last night. 89, 82 was the final final.

The Lynx missed their final seven shots and went scoreless over the final four minutes and 53. Cameron Brink had 12 points for Los Angeles. Word. I don't think that's what Cameron Brick, John. Cheryl Reeve was upset about after the game last time.

She was upset? Oh, God. She was not happy about their defense last thing. Oh, no. Yeah, she ripped them pretty good. Olivia Miles, 23 points, 8 rebounds, five assists. Come on, give a gal a little help, will you? She's a player, boy. The Links will host Las Vegas tomorrow. Hey, how about this?

Did you know that the Wolves G-League team, the Iwoesian Wolves, they're holding an open tryout? Anybody want to show off their sky hook from back in? No one's interested in the open tryout? No. I bet that's going to be a disaster. They do that every year. I would like to see that.

I would like to see how many folks, you know, if there are any folks who really wander in who haven't dribbled the basketball since gym class. Like American Idol where they have somebody just absolutely awful? I witnessed this a few times when I work there because like I said, they do this every year. And it is kind of entertaining

to see who shows up the type of person who shows up to this. I would like to see that. You have to hand them $300 in trade and then they'll let you go try out. Did you have a sky hook, Brad? No, I played guard in high school so I didn't really get in the paint too much.

Well, you have to have a sky hook if you're going to play pig in the driver. You have to have a sky hook. You have to have a George McGinnis baseline one-hand shot. Otherwise, and a Rick Berry granny shot. If you don't have those three in your repertoire, you're not going to win pig. You're right. You're just not. I was lucky if my high school coach ever ran a play for me.

Oh, no. Oh, boy, that sounds like a play. personal thing. No. We were good, and I wasn't the best player on the team. You were a guard, huh? I would have thought in 1986, you would have been one of the taller farm kids up there in the entire city. Here come all the text from

the Springfield kids now. They hate you guys. They start talking about there. But we had me, I was 6-2, 6-3, our other guard was 6-2, and our front court was 6-5-66-66. So no wonder you were in the back court.

Yeah. Oh, man. All right. Here are these NFL stories I was excited to tell you about. Some really good stuff here. I have very vague memories of a former NFL rod receiver, former NFL ride receiver by the name of Stedman Bailey. What should say here?

Played for the St. Louis Rams for a couple years, 20 and 13 to 20 and 15. I got vague memories of the guy. Well, his name is back in the mix. he was arrested for allegedly having sex in an arcade. Come on, man. They caught him and a lady having sex. Oh, at a bowling alley arcade inside of a mall.

Wow. Because I was thinking it could go one in two ways. It could be one of those 21 plus kind of like adult arcades. But if it's at a mall and there's a bowling alley, there's definitely probably kids there. So he was charged with indecent exposure. People started, you know, running up to the front desk there at the bowling alley and saying, you know, there's two grown folks getting it on in the arcade.

The cops showed up. They were even given some surveillance footage. They had video. And they say here that the lady by the name of Karina was, quote, leaned over at the waist. while former NFL wide receiver Stedman Bailey was behind her. Someone shouted at them to stop. Bailey did pull up his pants and his underwear

and so did the young lady, and they walked out of there. But the police cut him off. Bailey admitted that he and his lady were pantless. Gross. He admitted that his Johnson was out. but he denied penetration.

What else did he say? Oh, he said the only reason why they were in that situation is because both of them had way too much to drink. Getting caught banging at the bowling alley. It's pretty embarrassing.

Gives new meaning to the Papa shot game. I suppose it does. This guy's an interesting character. Again, I mean, not any type of a player that you'd remember. But it says here his NFL career was cut short when he was shot multiple times while sitting in a parked car in Miami. Jesus, Paulson. That ain't good. Yeah. Banging at the bowling alley. It'll happen. Oh, were our pants off? Yeah. Yeah, they were. My penis? Yeah, it was out.

Exposed, certainly. Penetration? No. We're not animals. We're not animals. We're not animals. NFL rookie Brock Recksteiner. That's a football name right there. He's off to a rough start in his professional football career.

The kid has already been suspended. Hasn't played a real game yet, but he's been suspended for six games. And if you're wondering, well, who in the living hell is Brock Recksteiner? He is the son of a WWE Hall of Famer who hates St. Paul. He hates St. Paul. He terrified Josh and I in studio 20 years ago. The big booty daddy. Holler if you hear him.

Big Papa Pump. Scott Steiner. That's Scott Steiner's kid. Brock has been suspended for six games. The exact reason for his suspension remains a mystery. He is a wide receiver. tight end currently employed by the New Orleans Saints. They say he has a limited chance to make the 53-man roster,

but he can still be named to a practice squad. This doesn't sound like such a bad punishment. He can still be named to the practice squad while suspended. He can still participate in training camp and the three pre-season games for the Saints. What are he being suspended of them? Well, if he makes the team, he can't play. Yes.

then he won't be able to play in their first six games. But for now, sounds like it ain't so bad right now. That'll go against him if they're sitting there trying to decide who's going to be on the 53-man roster. He's not going to get that opportunity. The son of Big Papa Pump. And yeah, he intimidated the piss out of us. I wouldn't want to upset that guy. In studio.

He didn't look happy the entire time was here. And the first thing that came out of it, we said, hey, tonight at the Civic Center, the WCW is putting on a show. Starting at 7 o'clock tonight. You can see Rick Flair and Scott Hall. And joining us in studio is Scott Steiner, who'll be performing. And the first thing he said in the microphone was, St. Paul sucks. And I believed him.

I mean, I believe that he truly felt that. You would have believed anything he told you just because you were too scared of him. He was very intimidated. I bet. And he almost killed one of our sales guys that evening, one of our little skinny sales guys. We had ringside seats and our little skinny sales guy, Smiling Don was messing with Big Papa Pump. And I had to, and you know, they had gone to commercial. And I could tell by the look on Steiner's face, he was legitimately pissed. Not only at what Smile and Don was saying to him,

but what some other folks were saying behind us. But Don kept it up. I had to grab Don and I'd said, Don, they're in commercial. This is real. Sit down before you get friggin' choked out. He's an intimidating guy. They say if Brock Recksteiner does not make the Saints final roster, he could follow in his father's Wuchstefz to a

career in television wrestling. Apparently, he's pretty good at that as well. I wonder what the hell he did to get suspended. They're not talking about it. Well, it's, so the articles I saw, they mentioned exactly what you said, and then they put the PED policy of the NFL underneath it, but never said that's why

he was suspended. Just saying, well, it kind of mirrors what you'd expect if it were. I can't imagine who he knows that it has access to PEDs. He'd have to make quite a few telephone calls. Have a friend call, friend call, friend type of thing. Is someone putting ice in a glass, what's happening? It sounds like something. I'm saying enjoying a slurpy or something.

Anyone bound and determined to play Madden NFL 27? No. No. Not into it like I used to be. I really enjoyed that game. for so many years. It says here, Josh, if you play Madden NFL Part 27, the soundtrack includes Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica and Sticks.

Yeah, it's loaded. But they didn't mention the songs. I want to know what songs. You know, it's like, say, Sticks has some great songs, but they also have some songs that totally blow. Oh, Renegade? Yep. Ozzy.

You can guess the Ozzy song. for my life from the long arm of the law. Mr. Robato. Dole-Loo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo do-do-do-do. Ozzy it's got to be crazy. Yeah, great. Great, crazy train again. Metallica, for whom the bell told us.

I haven't heard crazy train in a while. I've got to hear crazy stuff. They're doing Molly Cruz kickstart my heart. Ooh. You love Seven Nation Army. from the white stripes. They're doing motorhead. I remember when sticks scared all the rich people away at Randy's fundraiser a number of years ago.

It was my older two kids' first concert. Yeah. At Randy's fundraiser. Big deal. I mean, it really was really cool. That was awesome. You were able to hire sticks for your ball, your gala fundraiser. And Josh and I were like, dude.

So we stuck around. But what Sticks didn't tell the crowd was, we're not just going to sit here and play Babe over and over again. We're going to play some of our rock tunes. And they blew the doors off the joint. I remember there was about 50 people on the dance floor when Sticks kicked into one of their old Tommy Shaw rock songs. And then after that, there was nobody on the dance floor.

I mean, sticks could rock if you put them up to it. All right, this weekend, there will be five gentlemen tossed. into the pro football Hall of Fame, Drew Breeze, Lara Fitzgerald. Adam Vinatari, only the third kicker, I think, to go into the Hall of Fame, Adam Vinetary, along with Jan Stennerud, and Don't Tell Me, Morton. Yeah, I said, don't tell me, but he told me anyway.

Roger Craig? Roger Craig. Wow. And Luke Keekeley. Yeah, Roger Craig. Played against him in high school. Oh, that's right. You had, you had, you had, you had,

no chance, did you? Nope. We lost to him in the state semifinals. What was it like trying to tackle Roger, Craig? I suppose he was about 100 pounds lighter than he was in the NFL. I honestly don't remember. You never came near him? I just know he was on the roster.

Did I ever come near him? I probably did, but I don't remember. Lara Fitzgerald now, of course, from right here in town. I wasn't aware of this. He has yet to officially retire. Yeah, he won't say. the words. He won't. No. He is not formally or officially stepped away from football or the Arizona

Cardinals. He's now 42 years old. He hasn't played in five years. That's interesting. I thought you had to do that to be eligible. You know, you just have to not play. I don't think you have to, I don't think you have to officially say you're retired. It's just five years after your last game. Okay. Here's why he won't say the words. He says, He said he overheard a conversation that his grandfather had with one of his grandfather's friends,

and he overheard the boys say, retirement kills more people in our country than anything. And so that is always stuck with Lara. And so he says, I don't believe in retirement. I just think you transition into a different phase. Yeah. I remember to look at it. You've heard that before, right? A lot of guys.

Mm-hmm. I remember when my dad retired from truck driving, and I ran into a friend of his shortly thereafter, and they said, well, how's your dad? This was a lady friend, and my dad had a lot of them. And this lady friend said, how's your dad doing since retiring? And I said, oh, he's doing good. And she said, you know, a lot of these guys just up and die. And I said, oh, nice talking to you. Thanks.

That's the advice that Bud Grant gave me the last time I interviewed talked to Bud. he asked me about how much longer I was going to work if I was going to retire. We had this conversation, and Bud said, what are you going to retire to? Not retire. What are you going to retire to? In other words, as Larry Fitzgerald said, what are you transitioning to? Yeah. See, I don't believe in that.

God rest of soul of Bud Grant, he was a very wise man, but when I retire, I ain't doing a damn thing. And if it kills me, so be it. I'm doing nothing. I'm sleeping until noon. Sure. I'm not going to talk to anybody. I'm not going to see anybody. I'm not going to eat.

Oh, man. I'm going to stop eating. Why are you going to stop? That might shorten your lifespan a little bit. I don't want to expend the energy. Oh, man. You hear that the key to a long life is, yeah, once you retire, find something to do. And Randy, you certainly have.

I don't believe a word of it. I'm going in the other way, other direction. All right, you bastards. A little pre-season countdown here. Oh, I guess maybe it's not a countdown, but just something to get you sheeple all lathered up for another completely crooked season of the once great national football league.

Bro Bible has cut loose with the greatest players in NFL history to wear every job. Jersey number. Now, they're starting with 1 through 25. So we're just getting started. I'll be happy to continue on with this on air until we blow all the way to number 99 because Bro Bible is committed to going all the way through the... For now, what I have is who they named the greatest players in NFL history to wear jersey numbers

1 through 25. As you might imagine, 1 through 25 is a pretty exciting list because you've got a lot of quarterbacks and running backs and such. Sure. Sure. We get into the 40s and 50s. I'll probably have to wake you up a time or two. Sure. All right. Let's go ahead. Number one. You're asking me?

That's what we do around here. Yeah. Oh, okay. All right. Brad Ryder and Randy Shaver. I guess the only one I can think of is Warren Moon. That's right. Okay. They also named a runner up. Randy Shaver, you want to take this one? You should know. Why would I know? Because it's Cam Newton.

Oh, God. Superman. The runner up to Warren Moon for greatest player to wear jersey number one is Cam Newton. Yeah. Jersey number two. Tougher one. Jersey number two. I'll give you a hint.

He kind of had the world by the balls in the Super Bowl a few years ago, and then he and his teammates completely shut the bed. Matt Ryan. That's right. Matt Ryan. Runner up was a kicker. David Akers. Wow.

That's a stretch. I mean, he was a terrific kicker. Number two isn't a historic number in NFL history for great players, so they did what they had to do. Number three, you've got to go way back, skis. Way, way back. I think he was born a Canadian. Big fullback.

Big as a house. I'm no idea. Unique first name. Very unique first name. Bronco Nogerski. Oh, okay. I didn't realize you wore number three. Runner up.

Russell Wilson. Limited. All right, four. Brett Fav. That's right, Brent. Runner up is a guy who's going into the hall. Oh, Vinitary. Yeah.

Number five. Paul Harding. Yes. Runner up, the aforementioned Morton Anderson. Oh. You're never going to get number six. And I wouldn't expect you to. Jay Cutler

Great answer Great answer But no Oh Yeah he didn't We all love Jay Cutler Especially his attitude

But as we all know He wasn't the greatest Quarterback that ever lived They struggle with number six There just haven't been a lot of great players Who wore that jersey number Blie Brister Good guess

Oh that's a good one But not Bobby Brister They named a punter The greatest ever To see number six Ray guy No, Ray Guy didn't wear number six. Ray Guy wore number eight, if I'm not a mistake.

Johnny Hecker. Oh, come on. Okay. They have an explanation. They mentioned their slim pickings for number six. So they went with Johnny Hecker, who was the best punter in the NFL in the 2010s. He made all, pardon me, he made four all pro teams, four pro bowls. They even credited him in helping the Rams.

to a Super Bowl victory, and he was the punter. But he does hold NFL records, and they also gave him credit for his remarkable ability to pull off fake punts. Now, I can't speak to that. I don't remember. I don't remember. Seeing Johnny Hecker, but... Seven. John Elway. That's right. Runner-up, Michael

Vic. Eight. Steve Young. Runner-up. Lamar Jackson slash Troy Aikman. They couldn't pick. Again, this is Brobibel listing off their ideas, the greatest players in NFL history by jersey number. Today we're just going one through 25. Nine.

Jay J.J. Drew Brees. Drew Brees. J.J. No. J.J. McCarthy. How is that number? That's not the right answer.

Drew Brees, who's going into the hall. Sonny Jurgensen. Runner up. Sunny Jurgensen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Played for Washington. 10. Fran.

Fran. Fran. Fran, Fran, Fran. Fran, Fran. 11. Larry Fitzgerald. Right? Runner up, Norm Van Brockland.

12. Oh, Brady. The lunatic. This one sucks. 12 sucks. The winner is the lunatic. The runner up is Karen. Oh, God.

I didn't even think about that. Oh, my God. Josh number 13 is my esteemed colleague. Dan Marino. Dan Marino. Yeah. What about the runner up? 13.

also a quarterback no idea Kurt Warner Cedar Rapids yeah right from Cedar Bono Higher Regian yes Steve Bono

War 13 14 you got to go way back Dan Fouts he's the runner up oh my God I know runner up to who you got to go back

at the beginning of time hilarious last name if you're a fourth grader he has a hilarious last name oh I can't wait I think you could be Play for the Giants. I'm giving you credit for um-um.

Tiddle. Yes, Y-A-Tiddle. Y-A-Tiddle. Yes. Why not? That's a great thing to try to get the answer. A fourth grader would be. Fifteen sucks.

Home's. Yeah, runner up Bart Star. 16. Oh, Bart Star should be there. Bart Star should be. the number one. I'll go along with you. 16. Joe Montana. Runner up Frank Gifford.

17. I like that one. Yeah, quarterback. It's a quarterback. Dave Craig, Steve DeBerg. Good guesses, but no. More recent. Loves to bump. God, it hates Conno. Loves to.

Philip Rivers. The runner up brought a tear to my eye for Jersey number 17. Harold Carmichael. Oh. Outstanding wide receiver in the Philadelphia. Randall Cunningham's favorite receiver. Who?

Randall Cunningham? No, they didn't play together. Ron Tversky threw the ball, Harold Carmichael. Oh. Yeah. Early 80s, before Randall Cary. Oh, okay. 70s and 80s, Harold Cimeb.

18. Peyton Manning. Right. Runner up Emmett Thomas, a longtime cornerback for the Kansas City Chiefs back in the 60s. 19. Johnny U. runner-up Lance Allworth. 20, real easy.

Barry Sanders. Very Sanders. Runner-up, Ed Reed. 21. I don't agree with this one. 21. Deon Sanders. Unfortunately, yes.

They named Dionne Sanders. La-Dandy and Tomlinson should be that guy. The runner-up was the Lidani, and we all know they should switch places there. Deon Sanders couldn't even tackle. Yeah. He's not a football player. He was an athlete. The next one.

Go ahead. Emmett Smith, 22. 22, Emmett Smith. Runner up. Mike Haynes. A lot of he's don't remember Mike Haynes. That's a defensive back. Outstanding defensive back for the Oakland Raiders.

23. I think this guy was overrated. All they could do was one thing. I'll give you a hint. Chris Cluey. Chris Clue. He almost lost the gig. Oh, the Bears guy.

Yeah, Devin Hester. The returner, Devin Hester. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All he could do was run. Yeah. Runner up was Guy Chamberlain. He was from like the 1920s. Yeah.

24. Gail Sears. Gail Sears. See, here's where I go sideways. What? It's not Gail Sayers? But wait a minute. Randy, hang on.

When did Gail Sayers wear number 24? Gail Sayers did not wear number 24. He wore number 40. Well, yeah, later in his career. I think early in his career. I've seen that. I've never seen one picture of Gail Sayers where he wore 24 ever in my lifetime. Huh.

I'm not saying I'm right. I'm saying find me a picture of Gail Sayers wearing number 24. See, in the article, they named Champ Bailey, the best player ever. Oh, sure. Fine. I don't, I remember Champ Bailey. He was good. But they named Gail Sayers as the runner up for Jersey number 24. He never wore 24. Yeah, I think he did early in his career. I remember seeing pictures. I'll go along with it. 25. Here's our final final. Wide receiver. Oaken Ray. Oh, Fred.

Oh, Billetnikoff. Freddie Balitnikov. You really can find a photo of Gail Saeers wearing jersey number 24. I do remember him wearing that. I know in college you wore 48. For the bears, he wore 40. Maybe I'm out of my friggin' mind. I can't find anything with him ever wearing 24. Yeah. It's a weird thing.

Just 40 and 48. Yeah. I don't know. Will I lose sleep over this? Absolutely. I will. I will. Anything else going on this weekend?

What are you guys doing this weekend? It's going to be beautiful. Just hanging out. I was a nag one of the last babin weekend. Yeah. Are you going up north, Brad Rider? Yeah. Nobody's checking up banana ball?

No. Oh, yeah. I'm glad you brought that up. Yeah, banana balls. Staying away from that crazy. Did they sell the joint out target? Oh, three times. Three times.

They're playing here like tonight, tomorrow and Sunday? Yes. Oh, I thought it was just a one-time thing. I looked at the resale sites and it's about $250 to $300 to get your body in the door. I have to admit I haven't really done any backflips over the whole banana bowl. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I don't get me wrong. It's fun. I'm not trying to kick it in the ass or anything. I didn't. I had no idea. They sold out three straight effing ball games? Well, F me running. Tom Pouettes said in there going, so that's what I have to do? Get a pitcher on stilke. Put my team in a yellow jersey and they got a hell of a thing going. They do. They do. Gosh. They got a hell of a real. run. And if it gets kids into baseball, all the better.

Right. Yep. There you go. For sure. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life.

That's where our friends at standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work, and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer.

Dave Bealky, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Start your day with the morning jolt of Drake Toll. Anywhere in the country. Your home for talking sports. The United States hockey team

has four teeth left. What is LeBron James' Legacy? Leonel Mess. Mess. 906 career goals is stupid. All of it. The Knicks. The Los Angeles Lakers. Aaron Rogers, Georgia football players, the Dolphins, the Mets. As it happened, when it happened, we'll talk all of it. Westwood One Sports Talk. Your home for Drake's old. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

Half-Ass Morning Show, 93S. Welcome back to the Friday show. Welcome back to the Half-Ass Morning Show. It's been a hell of a deal so far. Oh, as usual, you're a terrific crowd. In a few minutes, we're expecting a telephone call from an 18-year-old kid from Hudson, Wisconsin. And I know what you're saying. You're saying, what's he looking to sell you guys some dope?

No. Nick's going to meet his son for the first time. Yeah. What's he looking for his real dad? No. 18-year-old kid from Hudson, Wisconsin. He's an incredible athlete by the name of Evan White. He's been performing on a television show called American Ninja Warrior.

And we're going to find out what the deal is all about. Has anyone seen the television show? Again, I think I had the name right, American Ninja Warrior. I've watched clips, certainly. I've seen it a couple times. It's kind of one of those things that I'm chilling in a hotel room and I flip out on the TV. I'm like, oh, all right. And then I'll watch it for six hours.

Yeah, they do suck you in with some of those personal stories about each athlete, don't they? Yep. What the hell are you doing out of town in a hotel room? What are you doing? Where are you? It's not in your business where I am. Sounds kind of shady to me. It should.

A mother. You're a mother now. You're hanging out in a hotel room somewhere? You just pour. You just pay for six hours at a time? Did you say because you're poor? No, I said you whore. I was thinking, that sounds kind of...

The opposite of poor. Controversial. Ashley's sitting in a... So this is a hell of a deal where this Evan kid, I guess, has gotten to the point now where he's in the national finals of the program. And that'll be Monday night. That sounds pretty good.

On NBC. No kidding. I'll tell you what, since that show became popular, those gyms have been popping up, and there's not a young person's birthday. That doesn't happen at one of those, it seems like. The obstacle course type thing, that's what we're talking about? Yeah, my son, like all his buddies, they go to the ninja gyms for, well, they, you know, he's a little older now, but at the time when he was younger, they all went to those.

And they race on foot, there's little race courses, and how do you call it again? I just said it, obstacle courses. So I guess we'll talk to Evan and find out what the hell's going on. That's really cool. I wonder if he's one of the youngest competitors. It always looks easier than it is. Have you gone to try a climbing wall? I know nothing about any of this stuff.

You know, I've never watched these types of television shows. A climbing wall? Absolutely not. We talked about this a little bit yesterday, Josh. I was telling you about how, or you mentioned they have like those ninja courses at like kid areas, you know, like kid trampoline parks and stuff. And I was telling you that, yeah, like, I'll watch my nieces and nephews do it with ease. And so I'll be like, all right, totally, I can do this. But I'm falling within like the first two minutes.

I don't even get past the second obstacle course. It says here, this friggin kid has gone to Dubai and climbed the tallest buildings in the world? Holy crap. While wearing a weighted vest? What are we getting ourselves into? He's known for his grip strength, one arm. pull-ups, Popeye forearms.

One-arm pull-ups. That's impressive. That's insane. I can't even do a regular one. I was going to say a pull-up alone is difficult. And his inspiration for getting involved in this is his mother

was very sick for a stretch of time and they would watch the show together, it sounds to me. And that's why he decided to get involved in the program. He and his mother, enjoyed watching the television show. That's the kind of stuff that sucks you in, right, Dana? You know, they give you those backstories.

Yeah. I mean, what a great story that is. Just something they bonded over during a tough time. Right, they cut to that hometown montage, and you're like, oh, man, I'm about to cry, aren't I? She loved watching the show, and now her son's on it. He's supposed to be calling us in a couple of minutes, Evan White from Hudson, Wisconsin. Okay, so, yeah, I've yet to catch any of these types of programs. but you said it's like a popular thing for kids' birthday parties

to go to these obstacle courses and run wild some of the ninja gyms. I know a couple of gals who are way into all right, I can't come up with a better word because I know the text messages are going to come in. They're way into fitness. I was trying to come up with something else. Go ahead, 6'5.1.

Exercise. There you go, exercise. They love to do these mud runs and whatnot. The tough mudders. I just don't get it. I couldn't see. putting myself through that. School bus driver Jesus has checked

in with something, certainly people have noticed. Some of the interactions between you, Nick, and you, Ashley, people aren't buying that you aren't father-daughter. There are interactions where you do sound like. Are you talking about because I was questioning what she's doing with her free time? Every once in

a while, there's an interaction between the two of you. Why are you in a hotel room? Who are you with? And your personalities can be so similar. There are times two. We're after kind of side-eye. Nick and go, wait a minute. We might be related a little bit. It sketched me out before. Wait a minute. We might be related. And also, just a little heads up. Before we go, we'll talk to Evan for sure. At least we assume he's going to give us a telephone call. He wouldn't be the first one

to change his mind. Before we go, we're going to try our best to get to some of the text messages that came in earlier. And I knew this would be F and gold. I don't know how the hell we got on the subject, but we asked our listing audience, have you ever lost something out the back of your pickup or off the back of a trailer. What happened? The text messages came in so fast and furious. We did our best to keep up with them. But I don't want your effort to go to waste. So before we get out of here this morning, we'll cover that. If you have any last second entries, go ahead, 651, 9893-93. Have you ever lost anything? A great dramatic story of losing something out the back of the pickup or off the back of a trailer. I'll

Tell you what, Josh, reading these types of stories makes you feel a little bit better about your overall skill set when it comes to hauling things or trailing things. Yeah. So many of you have had a colossal disaster, but yet you're here still today to tell the story. It kind of makes me feel a little bit better about my shortcomings in that department. It makes me incredibly nervous to be on the road. Yeah. Yeah. Because I get nervous when I'm behind people that have stuff in the back of their truck all the time.

I'm like, I don't know about that letter, bud. That looks a little sketchy. You look at the driver and say. I had a letter come at me once. Did you? Oh, yes. Uh-uh. So I'm really looking forward to that because you guys have some great effing stories.

I knew you would. Okay, let's go over to the telephone line and say hello to this kid. We've been hyping up here for the last couple of minutes. Evan White from over there in Hudson, Wisconsin. You can see him on the television show American Ninja Warrior. Good morning, Evan. Good morning. How are you guys doing?

Good. Thanks for joining us. My damn, we were reading all about the show and your story. What are you? Some kind of real-life superhero? What's this about climbing tall buildings with a weighted vest? What's this about one-arm pull-ups and all this? What the hell's going on with you?

Yeah, I mean, it's just a lot of fun. I just love athletics growing up and pushing myself to different challenges. And American Andrew Warriors, one of the ones that I've wanted to do for most of my life. And I'm super blessed. I got the opportunity to do it. What kind of sports were you into before this? Yeah, I tried a ton of sports growing up. I played baseball, football.

There's nothing really ever clicked. I wasn't a big team sport guy, and this individual, like, sport aspect, individual team aspect really stuck with me, and it was something that I could do to just push myself and not have to rely on other teammates. So when you're like a kid, you're a little kid, I mean, shoot, you're only 18 now, but when you're a little kid, did you look at playgrounds and think I could probably dominate that? Is that how it starts? I mean, I can go back to, like, memories back in third grade, like, before I even knew that Nid Jim's existed, and I would, like, pretend to be on the show when I was just, like,

on the playground at recess. So there were definitely times where I was, like, reminiscing and just predicting that what happened sometime in the future. And we all had that Ninja Kid at our school, I think, but... Yours was a little different. They were just kind of a scary character that... So how long you've been involved in this show, to where now, it says you're headed towards the national finals.

How long of a journey, I guess, has this been for you on the television show? Yeah, so I was actually on American New Warrior Jr. I was their junior version of the show back in 2022, I believe, 2023. It was a while ago. And then I waited a few years, and I got called in 2025 to do my first season of the big show. So this is my second season currently. And you've made it to the national finals? Yes, yep.

And we can see that Monday night. What are you up against? What are the tasks? What are the obstacle courses? What are the things that make up the national finals? Yeah, I mean, I can't say too much specifically about what the obstacles are. Okay. It is a head-to-head format.

You're racing side by side, and we go all the way into a top 32 bracket, single elimination, and the winner takes it all. Would you prefer that over? I'm sorry, go ahead. It's definitely just a little intimidating, having that single elimination, because this is a sport where it is so easy to make a mistake, you know? Like any little flip can happen at any little time, so the single elimination definitely adds a lot of pressure

and definitely a big scare factor to it. How much practice do you get on the course? Yeah, so we don't actually get to touch any of the obstacles before we compete on the show. Oh, no. Yeah, so that's probably the toughest part of our sport. Like, you've got to go into it preparing for every little thing you got. Like, you just don't know what you're going to get. That's not fair.

No, I don't like that at all. You should have a chance to practice. And it could be an obstacle you've never done before, never even seen, perhaps. Are we talking about things that are on fire? Are we talking about underwater? I mean, how death-defying does this get? Oh, no, nothing underwater on fire this year. But who knows, maybe sometime in the future, that'd be pretty scary, though.

What is your specialty, would you say? Your speed, your strength, your smarts. What makes you a national finalist? Like, what's your personal? strength. Yeah, I mean, definitely just my strength overall, and more specifically my grip strength, just being able to hold onto, like, little microledges and being able to, like, hoist my body up and propel myself through obstacles just at, like, quick speeds using my, like, fast reflexes and my contact strength. Is there a 50-and-up division of American Ninja War?

Dude, I would definitely tune in to that. Is there an old-timers division? Yeah, there isn't on the show. It's just all ages, but there are actually different leagues around the country that, have, like, different age groups to compete in, so it's a lot of fun. Are you the youngest on the show right now? No, there's been some, like, 14, 15-year-olds on the show this year. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's crazy. They lowered the age limit a few years ago, and, I mean, man, some of these, like, younger

kids are incredible. It's so cool to watch. What's it like to do a pull-up? Because the four of us have never accomplished that single feed in our life of just doing all pull-up, and he can do it with one arm. Yeah, how do you train for something like that? Does it feel good? Oh, it's great.

Yeah, I love pull-ups. It's probably my favorite exercise. Yeah, it's just, like, pull-ups was the only thing that I did growing up, like during COVID when all the gyms had shut down. That's all I could do. Like, I had a pull-up bar, and I just did a ton a ton of pull-ups, and it helped so much with this. It was crazy.

All right, one of our listeners wants a number. Like, how many pull-ups can you do before you have to stop? I've done 100 without dropping from the bar. Oh, my God. Dude, that's insane. Anytime you go to You see like the Marines They'll bring out the pull-up bar

I always wish I could get up there And impress a Marine It's just not going to have it. Oh, you would make them look like a bitch Up there Yeah, I Yeah, it was You ever feel like making the Marines look like bitches?

Done like a lot of Minnesota State Fair challenges Oh yeah Yeah, those are in full of the ones You know usually Josh The Marines are at BIR for the drag races And they set up the pull-up bar No, why?

The five, six drunkest guys in the campground walk up to do. I'll take a crack at that son of a bit. They can barely do one, and we all have a good time. Tell us, before we let you go, Evan, tell us the story about your mother, and you and your mother enjoying this show together, American Ninja Warrior, and that's kind of, from what I understand, that is kind of what inspired you.

Yeah, I mean, it was just, like, awesome growing up. Like, I had watched it for, man, I mean, like seven, eight years before we came on the show. like it was something we would turn on as a family. And I mean, just having her support through the years and just having her take me to all these competitions, having her take me to the gym nonstop has just been, it's been a blessing, and I'm, like, truly grateful for it. And I wouldn't be where I am without her today.

Go out there and whip everybody's at, Evan. Prosh him. Yeah, thank you. We'll be looking for you Monday night on NBC American Ninja Warrior. Evan White is in the final final. So good luck, nice to meet you. And, God, when you get a little older and start going to the bars, I'll try to remember not to mess with you.

Yeah, for real. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Good luck, buddy. Yeah, I appreciate it. Thank you. I didn't know any 18-year-old kids like that. No, me neither.

A couple good athletes, but. Yeah, I had, like, the realization that he was 10 whole years younger than me, too. And I was like, oh, gross, I'm old. Yeah, that's fun, right? When you start to realize that? Yeah. That didn't feel so good. I graduated high school 10 years ago.

Jesus. Oh, for Christ's sake. Well, in the moment, it seems like a lot. I'm sure when you were this age, you thought you, like, wow, it's already been that long. I'm sure I'll feel even older when I'm your age, if that makes you feel better. Well, you better. You know why? Because you will be older.

Significantly, as a matter of fact. Significantly. A lot older. One of our listeners claims he can do a thousand pull-ups. No, you can't. No, you can't. All right. I couldn't even do that over my lifetime without.

I think I can get to four maybe now. Maybe that's it. I haven't tried since we were maybe ninth graders. Maybe a few more. Can't even. No more than eight, I bet. Can't say that I've been anywhere near a pull-up bar beyond my 15th birthday. Okay.

Let's move on now because this was, this turned out to be a gold mine. We asked our listening audience, what have you lost out the back of your pickup or off the back of a trailer? Tell us your story. And like I said earlier, wow. It makes me feel a little bit better about my skill set in that department. It makes me think of an old friend of my dad's had a great story where he lived in the middle of nowhere's in the woods. And his lawnmower went to hell.

His riding lawnmower went to hell. And he had to haul it about 30 miles to town to have it fixed. so he trailers his riding lawnmower. He's going down to Tulane Highway. And suddenly he looks to his left, and he sees his trailer in the lawnmower directly to his left. And he said to himself,

Jesus, where did that? Oh, God, that's mine. The trailer had jumped off the hitch, and it had kind of kept pace with him just for a second. And like I said, he turned to his left and saw it, and then it just absolutely barrel rolled and destroyed the entire works. That sucks.

Some great stories came in to 651-9893-93. Here's some of what our listeners have lost out the back of a pickup or a trailer. Lost a 10-foot ladder at 55 miles per hour. Had a mattress transform itself into a kite. That'd be fun to watch. I've seen that with a painting. Out the back of a pickup. You lost a...

Oh, I remember that. You ready. We went to IKEA. Before it was here, we visited a friend in Chicago, and he's like, you got to check out IKEA. And I thought, that's weird, a furniture store. And I got there and I'm like, oh, I get it now. That's pretty cool. You decided to bring home a painting.

My girlfriend bought like a big, not tapestry. What's the other word for canvas? Right? Like huge. And so we strapped it on the top of my mom's camry. It was that big. It was huge. And I did everything you're supposed to do.

We tied it up there. I patted it a couple times and said, that's not going anywhere. We got on the freeway and within, I'd say, I don't know, a minute. That thing blew right off the back. Luckily, it went off the shoulder and didn't kill anybody. Didn't go through anybody's windshield. A friend of mine was sabotaged by his kids. They were going to go to the beach.

And he said, all right, you know, chuck your stuff in the bed. And so, you know, he's thinking chairs and stuff like that. But they put beach balls back there. Oh, gosh, darn it. There's three beach balls. He didn't realize it. Come on, kids. As soon as they get on the freeway, there's beach balls flying out of the bed of the vehicle.

He didn't know they were back there. No, he didn't know. The kids didn't know any better. They had no clue, right? That's kind of fun, though. Back to these text messages. I lost all my ice fishing gear out the back of my truck once at a stop sign. Lost a portable fish house at the back of my pickup at 60 miles per hour.

It did a full cartwheel in the air and landed in the ditch. I retrieved it. Never broke the glass of my lantern, he said. Couldn't believe it. Lost two snowmobiles off two different snowmobile trailers. Lost a buddy. Flit out the back of a piece. pickup bed. I hope they're all right.

Said he survived, but it was kind of bad. I bet. I know you almost fell off. I bet the guy that fell out thinks it's very, very bad. He thought it was very, very bad. The others said it was kind of bad. I got a ticket because somebody was saying I had an Asuzu trooper back in the day. Sure. When it was a big tall, boxy-looking thing? Yeah. And it had a spare tire on the back, which I thought was really cool.

That truck, or SUV last week, I don't know, I'm going to say two months before it died on me. Yeah. But we were camping, and one of my friends, I didn't know, it jumped on the back and was hanging on to that spare tire. Oh. And I got a ticket. Like in Wisconsin, the lady lit me up. She was furious. You were driving on the road with someone sitting on the back?

In a campground. And I didn't know he was hanging on to the back. Oh, yeah. Like, she's, like, major threats against me from this person. and I had no clue that they were even back there. She didn't buy it, of course. I guess I wouldn't either. One of our listeners lost an 80-gallon cooler

full of everything a grown man needs for a week at the deer shack. Oh, no. I went back to find it, but someone had snatched it. Dude. Beer, food, every damn thing. That's a great find. Lost, this is great. Again, these are items that our listeners have lost out the back of their pickup

or a trailer. Lost the plastic drop-in bedliner. Did you ever have that set up, Josh? Yes. The plastic dropping. My first pickup truck. Oh, I've seen those. On a really windy day, this listener says, that sucker caught a gust of wind and took off like a rocket.

It cleared the ditch and a fence and onto the frontage road. That day, I screwed that bastard down to the bedrails. Yeah, 44 and falling apart, Jesus said she also lost a bedliner. I've never heard of that before. Tire fell off my trailer and Brainer going 55. miles per hour down the road, says a listener. That's terrible. It rolled through four lanes of traffic, over the curb,

hit a stack of firewood in front of the Casey's gas station, and that puppy shot over 100 yards in the air. Luckily, no one was killed. That's from crushing rocks and smashing box. Jesus. I loved everything about that. Yeah, like I was saying, I was on the freeway. I was on 694 in the beach.

middle lane and a work truck. The ladder came right off. That thing came right out. And I was on a motorcycle too and I thought, shoot, I'm dead. I'm going to die here. But luckily it just took a hard turn and went right off onto the shoulder and nothing happened. I'm enjoying this so much, like I've stated a couple times already. I thought this kind of stuff only happened to Jay Browns like myself. But so many of you have had this dramatic moment. And I'm sure most of you know what you're doing. It's just glitchy things, little accidents like this happen. Okay, driving back from a weekend up north, says one of our listeners. We had a massive rug that was laid out in the front of our camper while we were camping.

You ever seen folks do that? They put a big rug down and they put their chairs and their table on. The straps came undone and that sucker rolled off the top of the camper in the middle of the road. My dad said, eff it. We kept driving. It was raining like hell and it was just too embarrassing. I wonder if anyone hit that big bastard. Soak an ass wet, 100-pound rug.

Oh, man. Team busted. Jesus bought a new enclosed trailer. 12 feet of the 24-foot roof blew off. Oh. Kayak? One of our listeners lost a kayak. I was surprised I never did that.

I used to have to shove it into my Volkswagen Beetle and then like bungee strap things down. It was a very sketchy situation. If I was pulled over by a cop and they tried to see if I could like see out my back windows, I would have gotten a ticket instantly. I had a buddy lose a kayak 10 minutes after. buying it. And he was the topic, imagine me if I said, hey guys, I'm going to Cabellas to get a new kayak because this girl I'm seeing really likes to kayak. It was one of those situations. And he

strapped at the top of his SUV when flying off the highway. And he said, I just took that as a sign. I'm not supposed to kayak. Never went back to look for it. Yeah, God told him. Our text machine has officially been choked unconscious. Very dramatic stuff. By damn, you lost something off the trailer. or out the back of your pickup. What was it? What happened? We're sharing your text messages here before we bust out of this pig.

Try to go as fast as I can because it's been a hell of a reaction. It's a funny feeling, Josh. I'm so happy that so many of you have had such dramatic issues. Yeah. Because it's made it. Everybody bonds and everyone's okay. It's made it that much more fun. Okay, here's a guy who lost an $800 refrigerator.

It shot straight up out the back of his pickup. Oh, boy. He tried to get his money. back. He said, hey, you built it too light. That's why you always have them do it for you. Cubby. You know, I suppose some places won't for that reason, right, Ashley? Yeah, no, I mess.

I'll give you the extra 200 bucks. I don't care. Josh, what? Topper, gone. That's crazy. It just wasn't connected, something rusted. Oh, he texted. It was locked in. All he texted was Topper. Gone.

Oh, I bet that looked kind of cool. I love this. It just ejected, you know. Picture this. dude lost the whole bagger system off the back of his riding lawnmower. You know what I'm talking about? Hell yeah. It's got the big couple of bags with the big hose that sprays the, okay, so. Oh, sorry, is there more to that?

Yes. The whole bagger system gets sucked off the back of his riding lawnmower, it goes shooting into traffic. He was going 80 miles an hour. It came down between two cars behind him. One of those two cars pulled up to, was left matched his speed, he says, I refused to look at him. I just kept going.

I don't blame you. The guy pulls up to look at him. Like, do you realize you just, he said, I just refused to look. I just kept going. I'm not looking. We're not looking. We respect to that choice. Nothing to see here.

Wisco's sign guy Jesus said that he knows a person who bought a brand new riding lawnmower, loaded in the back of the pickup, put the mower in park, didn't think it needed straps. Oh, no. made it a mile. It rolled out the back out of the highway, complete loss, and he drove back to the dealer and bought another one

so his wife wouldn't find out what else. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Didn't want to tell the wife about that one. Dude, I get it because I wouldn't let my husband live that one down. Josh, do you have any experience with cocking? Yeah, yeah, I do.

It's fun, right? I've done some cocking before. One of our listeners lost a case of cocking carcadog. I'll get there. He lost a lot. a case of cocking cartridges out the back of his work truck. He said when they hit the road, they bounced and dispersed themselves all over $694. Oh, no.

That's kind of fun. I kept cruising like nothing happened. Dude, people probably ran over and they're just exploding every. That is so fun. Large, large wooden workbench flew out the back of my pickup on the highway. The truck behind me had to take the ditch. I have a buddy back to the cocking. You have experience.

Yeah. I have a buddy who he will only say kelk. He knows how it's pronounced, but he just refuses. He wants to be a prick about it. Ashley, this one I think is especially for you. Oh. Not that the listener meant it for you, but I just think you will enjoy this more than anybody else.

He says, yeah, I lost the horse trailer. No. Uh-oh. made it all the way home before I realized it was no longer there. Went back to find it. My horse trailer was in the middle of the highway, and so was the horse wandering around. Grazing in the median.

Sorry, sorry, that's mine. That's my horse. And the horse is like, you know, a minute ago, wasn't I attached to the back? Well, whatever, I'll eat some grass. No, no, no, no, no, no. When I was a hardware store worker, this listener says, I was a delivery driver. I lost someone's lawnmower.

I had to drive around the city to find it. Found it with no damage at all? And I never told the boss. Nothing happened. A couple of fish houses came off the back of this guy's trailer. Oh, he had a buddy following him. And one of those fish houses smashed right into his buddy who was driving his brand new Dodge Coal.

totaled the car. Oh, no, that ruins your weekend. Yeah. Here's a guy whose brother came out the car. He said, apparently bad door latches. So that's a little different. Didn't come out the trailer or the pickup bet. But Josh, you referenced, yes, me and my now wife,

when I was 18 and she was 16, we were riding in my pals, Scout. Garbage ass old like 1970 Scout. buddy driving I was in Zimiedel wife was at the passenger door and we were going to a house party and my buddy driving didn't really know where we were going and so we were probably going 40 and I said oh you got to take a left here and he took a hard left and my wife and I went out the passenger door I because of my athletic skills Josh I was able to kind of barrel roll myself broke my toe

I was pretty rasp-buried up my poor wife just skidded She got And here we are together to this day Did she yell you for like not saving her? You know she really didn't put the blame on me All right what else is happening now

Because there's so many more of these text messages Let me try some good ones Well I mean they're all good But let me try to find some keepers Because I know we got to go Oh here's a guy hauled cars for a living lost a car off of his car hauler but that sucks luckily it went right into the ditch didn't have a mark on it got it back on the trailer before the cop showed up and i drove home as slow as possible from there propane tank 18,000 pounds of drywall whoa lost a hockey net out the back of my truck I had it strapped, the net stayed attached to the strap, so I drug it down 35E for a quarter mile

while it threw sparks behind me. Oh my gosh. Brand new dirt bike. Also, strap stayed connected to the dirt bike, but it comes out to pick up brand new. He's dragging it down the highway. He says, I was so sick, I almost vomited. I bet. Boats.

My brother lost a gutted eight-point deer during deer. He's in out the back of his truck. He drove around with the tailgate down so people could see it. A few people text in something very similar that they saw that or were a part of something like that. Hey, you guys, I got one. It's right here in the back of my pickup. Boat and trailer. Oh, you'll like this one.

Toeing his boat and trailer. He said, I was periodically checking the side mirror. Got home realized the boat and trailer weren't there. they were in the ditch he said put it back together and went fishing there was one more that I thought you'd really like oh

one listener wants us to know that hey Christmas trees have a lot of lift yeah you gotta be careful with those boys those babies well this is the this was the final final one that I found to be really unique because I know we got to get going and thank you for all your texts Jesus balls I don't even know Cubby did we even crack half of them

we do our best dude falls asleep behind the wheel with his boat and trailer behind him, goes into the median, hits a bump, it wakes him up, and when he looks up, his boat and trailer are above him.

How? Well, he fell asleep. I know, but how is that possible? What a way to wake up, right? Am I dreaming? One of my favorite subjects we've ever had. I'm going to go ahead and say it, Covey. That's fun.

I love it. We've got to get going, though. Hello to One Away Jesus up at Rainy Lake. this morning. Shout out to Zwicks outdoors and everyone going to the game fair this weekend. Get well soon to Uncle Noodle Jesus from P-Man. Madison got a hold of us on the Luther Kea, Bloomington text line with a big thank you to Tyler, taking her to the Savannah Banana game tonight. Oh, have fun. Happy birthday to Dusty Balls, Zach Jesus from his naughty wife,

Asian leopard cheeses, who had just one request. That's all she wanted. That was it. Happy 33rd to our good buddy Red Butcher Jesus on Sunday, and I'm a bachelor this weekend. Look at you. So see everyone at my place. We'll be eating sandwiches while standing at the sink, likely in our underpants. That sounds incredible. I'm going to wrap it up by 8 or 9. I'd like to go to bed early, so see you tonight.

Perfect. 93X. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? we're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life.

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