93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Luxury Letdown

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

Originally Aired August 12, 2026: New gig for the gamers. Old Style. Everything you've ever wanted to know about bathtub potatoes.  Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93X half-assed morning show. Ninety-three. Dirty bastards. You beautiful, dirty, filthy. You did it again. You showed up for another edition of the program. We appreciated very much.

Welcome to the 93X half-ass morning show. Oh, where the hell can we go with this operation today? You're looking for a certain direction? Oh, I don't know. I was just reading something. You know how it goes around here, Josh, off air? We're looking at this. We're reading that.

Looking into what's happening in the world, how we might fit it into a conversation here on the radio show. Through that process this morning, I read something that cracked me up already. Here it is. It was an article on things that should have an age limit. So things like fist fights. and face tattoos.

So people were saying in the article, once you hit a certain age, to be involved in certain things should be more or less illegal. You're too old for a fist fight. You're too old for a face tattoo. What cracked me up was this. There are people who believe

that there should be an age limit on starting a garage band. And so for a brief second, Josh, I pictured you and I here in our 50s dragging amplifiers and a drum kit into my garage for band practice. No, I wouldn't mind that. There's plenty of to do it. We're too old. Well, I don't know. If you go to like your, like in Negan, we have this thing Wednesday nights

where it's like a farmer's market, food trucks at times, and then they'll always have a band. A dude's kind of dressed like the beach boys. Usually older guys in their late 50s, all the way to the maybe early 70s. playing all kinds of hits, you know, for the families out there just walking around in a big grassy area. Yeah, every time I've been to like any type of fare or situation like that, it's usually people around your guys' age up there. Every once you're a lot you get. But they're an established band.

I'm talking about starting a band. Like we're on day one here and we're in our freaking 50s. Unless you have incredible potential. Do you see what I mean? That'd be a little weird if you guys came in and you were like, hey, actually, we're starting a band. But we've been in bands before. Does that make a difference? Sure, it's been decades, but I've jammed with bands in the past 20 years.

We're going to have to get nitpicky. Right. These older, I mean, don't get me wrong. Of course, I go to these same events that you guys do around town, and there's a bunch of guys in their 60s cranking out. It's usually the same set list. Mustang, Sally, some kind of wonderful, brown-eyed girl. Don't get me wrong.

I see them all the time, but they are. established. I'm sure they've been doing it for years, decades. I'm talking about day one. I was picturing you and I dragging all that gear into the garage and a one, two, three, and a one, two, three. You guys would have to take a break to take like a nap or something. Hell yes. It would be difficult to figure out what time band practice is because I do take a daily nap about two, two and a half hours. Let's see, dinners at 345. Can't do it afterwards. That's too late. printing Jesus said once you're born, you're too old for a face tattoo. Yes.

Oh boy, I wanted a neck tattoo when I was 18. No way. My dad talked me out of it. Oh, thank God he did. That is just the silliest thing. The majority of people I know that have neck tats regret it deeply. Not everyone with a neck tattoo looks silly, but you would have looked absolutely stupid with a neck tattoo. When I was 18, that's all I wanted.

You know, my whole goal was to be in a rock band playing guitar. So I thought, like my dad was trying to talk me out of him. I'm like, well, dad, you know, I'm going to be in a rock band. So I got to have something like that going on. You got to do it the other way around. You got to get famous first and then get the neck tattoo. That's the only way you can pull it off. You think that's how it works?

Yeah. But then I'm going to be a total poser. It's kind of like when we started working here, when we became 93X after we were the edge for so long, dudes were getting like sleeve tattoos, changing up their wardrobes and stuff, you know, to fit the image. Oh, my God. So ridiculous. In their defense, that was pushed a bit by the management,

maybe even more than a bit by the management. Oh, yeah, didn't you get mad at you guys for acting soft on the air by saying something like, oh, I went to bed early last night. And they're like, no, you got to portray this image that you stay up all night and party and come right in and do the show. That and we got, I don't remember if it was both of us are just me, me or Nick reference that we were losing our hair. Oh, yeah.

By the way, Dana, some of us really did that. That's true. Yeah, there you go. Or if we didn't go to everything that was in town, he had to at least pretend you did in their mind. Sure. And we never would. Did you have an idea?

Did you have an idea of what tattoo you wanted? Yeah, you know, I wanted to be unique and get like a tribal design in 1993. Oh, God. No, nobody had ever heard of that at that time. Maybe some barbed wire around one of your biceps. That may be a little tougher. It adds just two inches to the pythons, don't you know, when you get barbed wire around your rib?

Pythons. Maybe mixing it trance. stamp. Yeah, I didn't mean for anyone to misunderstand me. There's definitely nothing wrong with older people in an active band who play your food truck parade or play your county fair. I'm talking about day one we're setting up in the garage and we're in our 40s and 50s. I'll agree. Unless you have headliner type abilities, unless you have unbelievable potential, day one, probably should have happened before you hit your mid-40s. I understand that for the same time.

Or else that screams midlife crisis. Maybe you want to put down the less Paul and take up the Lord. Well, I was just going to bring up, Ashley, what you said there, that a lot of times it's our age where people start thinking, God, I want to learn a new language. I want to learn how to play the ukulele, or I want to learn something different. I'm not bothering anybody in the neighborhood with my ukulele. I'll tell you that.

What about like folks who start a martial art later in life? See, that's cool. Is that too old? No, no, no. For that? No. The other. I think there's a limit to that.

No, I mean, if you. Wait a minute. So someone's practicing karate in the privacy of their own home and they're in their 40s. They're too old for that? They're just at home. They're not going to like a studio. They're just biving in their living room. I mean, it doesn't matter where you go.

I was picturing them in a class. Yeah, I am picturing it and it does seem kind of silly to like, like what's the smallest belt, like a white belt, yellow belt? or something like that? Like, I don't know. That would look a little silly. I ain't garter belt. Having, like, that little outfit on for the first time.

Timing belt. Well, I don't know. I think there's a big difference between, you know, practicing martial art and being in a terrible garage band. I don't, whatever. There's, I mean, there's a lot of folks, too, that start that later in life. I mean, now that jihitsu and all these, some of these different gyms are getting so popular. That sounds like fun, you know.

I mean, learn how to beat somebody's ass. You're never too old to beat somebody's ass. So maybe the thing is you're doing something that most people your age don't do. Exactly. So if it's a popular thing, like pickleball, are you too young for pickleball? Yeah, good question. What do you think of that at? Yeah, I think so.

I mean, I know there's people my age that play, but I think I'm too young for, yeah. But let me ask you this. I should be out they're playing tennis. If you play in a pickleball tournament, are there age groups? I would think it would be unfair if a 19-year-old is defeating a 77-year-old in the pickleball championship. of the world, but I don't know. Are there age limits? Do you play against people your age? I've seen it kind of mixed. I don't know. Here are some other things. Which is not fair. No, that doesn't sound fair to me. Not fair. For your grandpa to get his ass kicked by a college kid at the pickleball all world finals.

It's not even out of breath. Here are some other things that came into play in this conversation on things people believe should have an age limit. More or less. You know, if you take up these items too late in life, items isn't the word, take up these activities too late in life, you might get made fun of or worse. Now, this brings up an episode from yesterday, off air, where I got a little concerned. There should be an age limit on calling your parents' mommy and daddy.

Oh, no. Yesterday. I've never done that. No, why would you? You ever called your parents? Even when I was a little kid. I don't know if I ever called my mom mommy. My mom's in my phone as mommy.

I've called her that a couple times, but not my dad. Absolutely not. No, just a term of endearment. I mean, I have maybe when I was two, I have no memory of exactly how I addressed my parents when I was a tiny little kid. But no, I have no memories of ever saying mommy or daddy. But so anyway, off air yesterday. Off air yesterday, Ashley was like, well, I got to do this and I got to do that. I'll see you later.

And she said something along the lines of it. I got to meet my husband. we're going to go see his Nana. And I said, huh? And you said that your husband still refers to his grandmother as Nana? Everybody does. Everybody in the family calls her Nana. That's wrong.

There should be an age limit on that. It's your grandmother. I think it's, okay. When I first started dating him, I did rip him for that. I was like, what the world is going on here? So he honestly, as a grown man, he says, yeah, you know, tomorrow's Nana's birthday, not grandma. Yeah, I think it should. like so instilled in him.

They need to tweak that, don't they, Josh? Well, it's different than what we ever did. I mean, my wife's sister, so my sister-in-law, she and her kids call my mother-in-law Nana. Grown folks. I'm talking about grown folks. So even the grown people called. Well, they were around the kids. They'll say, hey, there's Nana or give Nana call.

It's kind of like how I don't call my husband Jeremy anymore. It just doesn't exist. It's now, what's dad-da-d-do-do-in? Oh, Jesus. Dad, dad, dad, dad, da. It's just like, and I never wanted to do that because I always thought it was weird that my mom and dad did that growing up. But did they call each other that even when it had no reference to you? Yes.

Yeah, I've seen that before where it confused me at first. Instead of saying, hey, your mom wants her to, I want you to call her. They'll just go up. Like, if I wanted to address my wife, I'd say, hey, mom, can you hand me the remote control? Like, they refer to them as the mom. Yeah. So you've heard that as well? Yep.

My parents have always done that. And I'm like, I'm not going to be that person and how I'm that person. Because, yeah, it just becomes a habit. I've told you before that when I spent time in the South, I was totally shocked by how many grown people referred to their, especially their dad. My memory serves me correct. If my memory serves me correct, they often referred to their mother as mom.

And I'm talking about grown folks having a conversation, no kids involved. they often refer to their mother as mom, but dad was daddy. My daddy does this. My daddy. Oh, there's my daddy's pickup. You know, we're drinking at a bar. Oh, I just saw my daddy drive by. This is a grown man, grown person.

And I had to call the timeout and say, you guys really all refer to your dad? It's a thing in the South. They refer to their dad as daddy. I've heard that. Well, actually a Southerner text in and said it is a southern thing, but I've always called my dad, daddy. It's weird as balls. I mean, it totally threw me. Anyway, what else do they say in the article here?

There should be an age limit on spring break trips. This is a thing that started grabbing my attention a decade ago or so. How spring break used to be a 19-year-old's chance to get away from the real world, including their parents, and just go ape-ass in Mazatlan or something. and now spring break is a family thing. Mom goes, I don't get that. What are you doing? Yeah, I don't get it either.

When my husband was in high school and took those trips, his mom, I think mom came with. I'm not sure if his dad did too, but. It's like a full family thing. See, I know this because my buddies are doing it. You know, I'll be like, hey, you want to go to the twins game? Nah, I'll be out of town for a week. Well, where are you going?

Spring break. Mexico. Like, what do you mean you're going on spring break? Well, me and the wife and both the kids. And we're talking about teenage kids. Like the college-age kids that should be losing their gourd. They're staying in a hotel room with mom and dad on spring break. I don't get that.

What happened there? Send the college kid in Mexico. And then you and your wife are supposed to go to somewhere way better, like Paris or something. TBI epilepsy, Jesus, going back to the idea of calling a grandma Nana. I forgot about this. My kids, their grandma, so my wife's ex-mom, they call her Nana because, or they used to because she didn't want to be called grandma. Now she's okay with it because it sounded too old. Oh, you're going to hate this one.

Was she a foxy grandma, Josh? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I'll tell you what, I'd love to show you a picture of her, and you have to guess how old she is. You'd never guess. She looks about 25 years younger than she is. Oh, yeah? I have something to tell you guys.

I don't know how you're going to react to it. I'm nervous about Nick's reaction. Josh, you might think it's cute. Is it something about your papa or your me-mo? It's what we call Jit, my husband's mother. So Calvin's grandma She goes by Gigi Why?

Because she didn't She like chose it I guess in a way When the first grandbaby Arrived She didn't want to be like grandma Or you know Nana was already taken Didn't want to be

I guess Granny what other ones are there I'm so happy I don't live in this world Yeah I would never Bother me But yeah I know some people Well this is gross He's a disgusting

pervert, but Randy Schaver when he found out he was going to be a grandpa. Remember what he said, Nick? Randy Schavers a disgusting pervert? I'm a peak sarcastic. Yeah, I can't wait for the punchline. No, no, I don't remember

what Randy Schaever said when he found out he was going to be a grandpa? He said, hey, boys, I'm sleeping with grandma. Remember that one? No, I do not. He was saying that for a while. What a weirdo. There should be an age limit on wearing pajamas to the grocery store. There should be an age limit

on posting cryptic relationship drama on social media. No, there should never be because I love reading that crap. It's so funny. There's a girl on my Facebook who's just constantly in some type of drama. It's so fun. How old is she? She's a year older than me, 2930, somewhere around there. Oh, so yeah, she's not old.

Ashley, does she definitely should be doing it? I think that if you're over the age of, I don't know, I'd even say like 16, you shouldn't be doing that. Doing what now? Doing like the Facebook or the social media drama about your relationship and stuff like that. But I do find it quite entertaining. I don't know if there's any age you should be doing that. It's so silly. Yeah.

I try to be judgmental, but it always seemed kind of weird to me that that's aired out on social media. It is. It's very silly. What else is there an age limit? Or at least, according to this article. According to this article, people believe there should be an age limit on the following things. roommates well sometimes you're kind of effed yeah i don't think that counts especially nowadays jesus no kidding i mean it's there's a difference right if you ain't got a pot

to piss in you need someone there to help you out with the bills and hey you're trying you're not moving in back or back in with your folks you're doing your best exactly there's a difference between that setup where you need a roommate or let's say you know josh and i suddenly become single and let's live together you know what i mean that would be i wouldn't i'd actually like that very much i'd be pretty i wouldn't blame you guys if you roll if you rolled your eyes at josh and i for moving in together for no other reason then we want to be together all the time uh what else uh i mentioned face tattoos and fist fights you guys would be so happy if you live together we would but it would be so sweet it would be a silly decision at our way at our age wouldn't you

agree? Yeah, but it would be very romantic. Fist, Feist, people would probably assume that, right? Yeah, you guys would have nothing but like mac and cheese and hot dogs all the time. Oh, that sounds awesome. I'm just, I'm picturing it. It's just, it's making me happy. Me too. I guess I used a poor example. Yes, I mean, you guys are special.

We are. We're close pals, and I'm sure we would be fine, but you understand where I'm going with that. Yeah. Staying out till 4 o'clock in the morning. I don't know how anybody does it. Jesus. I mean, I remember how I used to be able to do it. I can't picture it now. Calling people bro.

Uh-oh. Uh-huh. Well, I mean, what are you going to do? I mean, I do that. Hard habits. Yeah. Constantly. Habit, how do they say it, Josh?

Tough habits, die hard or something. Yeah, it's difficult. Yeah. I mean, I've done it in situations where I immediately went, ah, that is not a bro situation. More of a brat situation. Isn't it funny? I mean, it's funny how times change and people change. Yeah, I'm in my mid-50s.

I still refer to other guys as dudes, bros, this and that. I don't think I ever heard my dad once say to one of his friends. Maybe buddy. He said buddy a lot. But, I mean, picture your dad saying, bro. Oh, no. But, you know, generations are dead. He often did say buddy.

That was his thing, buddy. I never liked that. Now I say that all the time. Oh, I... A buddy? Like when somebody would say, yeah, buddy of mine, for whatever reason, it just... I don't know what, it just affected me a certain way.

Now I constantly use it. I always liked it. I always like... I like tried to train myself to say that instead of saying, like, my friends. You know, when you're like 14 and you no longer want to be a kid anymore, now you're a grown-up, you know, and you kind of act like a dick? When I was about 13 or 14, I totally unloaded on my dad. Oh, I hate this.

Yeah, because everything was Bud. Hey, bud. What's going on, buddy? You know? It just loves you. It made me sound like, you know, you know, how you are when you're that age. In my mind, that made me sound like a little kid. So he was like, hey, bud, you know, later on today.

And I was like, no, I'm not your friggin' bud, okay? I'm not your buddy. I'm your son. I'm not your frigging buddy. I had a total meltdown over it. I got sick of hearing it. I'm really hoping I didn't just bring this up a couple weeks ago. I had this conversation with somebody, and I don't.

think it was here with you guys. But when I was, I don't know, maybe fourth or fifth grade, we used to just hang out at Mr. Movies, wait for somebody to drop off a movie that we were interested in, right? Sure. Just sit there by the little box they dropped it in and hope that Indiana Jones

was showing. Watching people walk in and out of the joint. So we got to know the lady that worked there. She was there every single day. And one day a guy came in and he said something like, hey kid, you know, like just to say hello. And she went off on him. Yeah. On my behalf. was yelling at this guy and like, hey, he's not a kid, he's a person.

It doesn't matter his age going off. And she's like, hey, I'm so sorry he said that. And I was totally confused. I thought it was nice. How old were you? It was fourth or fifth grade. Yeah, you are a kid. And he wasn't being rude, like, get out of my way, kid.

He's just like, hey, kid. She was some kind of a... Weird. She said that it always bothered her when she was younger. And so it set her off. And I didn't know what to say in that situation because it never once occurred to me. I should be offended by that. Some of this stuff you've heard a million times, again, back to the topic of things people believe should have an age limit.

Some of this stuff is, you've heard it before. Cargo shorts, wearing your hat backwards, having a mattress on the floor with no bed frame. Getting into online fights now, that is ageless, at least from what I see. That's ageless. Everyone from a nine-year-olds to a 99-year-old feel like starting trouble on the godless. I've never done that. That's going to take some work if you want to put an age limit on that. There was a couple of people we worked with who that was kind of their thing where I think they

looked for it. I know one was told to dial it back a little bit because he would do that. Like somebody would say something that set him off and it really didn't take much and he'd respond to all of it. Oh, yeah. Don't we have like a whole thing in our employee handbook now about how like we're supposed to like represent ourselves? Well, you know to ask about the company handbook.

In a good light online. Josh, do we have something in there in the company handbook? Hey, buddy. Oh. We sure do, bro. Yeah. Porno Jesus said, I called my boss, bro, a few weeks back. He came up to be saying I was doing good work.

Thanks, bro, I said. And walking away, I was like, what the hell was that? I've done that. There should be an age limit on going to music festivals. Yeah, I can't picture myself at a music festival. Oh, that sounds exhausting. What if it's like yacht rock or We Fest? Are we too old for WeFest?

I've never been. I've heard it's a pretty good party. I think so. It's a great party, but even once I was like 23 or 24, I can't handle that anymore. Yeah, it's just crawling with 21-year-olds. Like, it's, so I guess I get it. When I was like 23, I hated anybody that was like just freshly 21 because I thought it was so much more mature and, like, it's ridiculous.

You got a thing happening. What's my thing? I don't know. You talk about 21-year-olds like you're in your 60s. It feels like I am when I'm. with them. 23, 24. Oh, Jesus, I had that's like prime going to those.

I'm surprised to hear you say that, Dana. I could never. Now, Josh, okay, you mentioned yacht rock, of course. That sounds very pleasant. But if we're talking about a legit music fest, so we're talking about staying. Like an Oz Fest or a. You're staying overnight in a campground, oh, God, no.

Yeah. Unless I have the perfect, perfect amenities. I mean, a massive tour bus or so. Because I've been with, like when I've done Rock Fest. I've done it with some of my friends that are older and I guess it, I never really thought that they were too old.

But we had like, they had like a nice RV. They had every everything you could ever imagine. You know what I mean? It would have to be the perfect circumstances for me to want to attend a music festival or something like We Fest, whatever. I guess that is a music game. Let me wrap this up real quick.

Can I just get back, that's before we want too much. Farm Soup Jesus said he called his old boss boss man and he flipped out on me because that's what people called his uncle and he hated it. Well, how the hell is you supposed to know that? Yeah, I don't know. I call our boss boss man or hey boss. You tear into somebody over something that they would have no knowledge of whatsoever.

I agree. That happens too much. You know, where people flip out and just tell someone. They don't know. Just say, hey, you know, I know you didn't mean anything, but I really don't like being called that. There should be an age limit on being on your parents' Netflix. I don't know what that means. Using their account.

Using their account? You can't even do that. Yeah, now you can't do it. Putting your entire personality into one hobby. Oh, that seems like it's ageless these days. Little kids will dedicate their entire personality to a game or a team. A movie. Middle age people do it.

Older people do it. A movie, exactly. Boy, I hate to admit that I agree with this one. that there should be an age limit on making prank phone calls. That was such a massive part of my life, and I do miss it. But, yes. They probably should. You probably should stop doing that once you're 17 or 18.

In Sunday, Jesus says, sorry, guys, the Apple River is off limits to you. You're right. There's certain rivers we can't go to anymore, and Apple River tops that list. We are not going to fight you on that. Big Island. Are we too old for Big Island? Oh, yeah. I think we are.

You don't think so? No, no, because there is the wild side of Big Island. There's a more mild crowd. There's all different groups you can pair up with at Big Island on Lake Minnetonk. I didn't know there was a mild sign. Yeah. I've only been there a couple times. Yeah.

I was shocked. To quote our promotions guy. To quote our new promotions guy, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I went and saw him yesterday. I said, what's going on, man? How you doing?

He said, I'm good. And I said, I'm kind of. looking for some five-finger death punch tickets. And he said, yeah. Yeah, we got those, yeah. I love him. That's our new promotions guy. I saw him yesterday use the most soap I've ever seen anyone use.

It was like his hands had rabies or he was brushing with too much toothpaste. What does he have something? He had like soap gloves on. Wow, he's a clean freak. He's very clean. If you ever want to shake his hand, you're safe. And then I think you just brought this up yesterday, Josh. There should be an age limit on driving with music so loud that.

the trunk rattles. You brought up that. You ran into one of those a few days ago. Yeah, I heard one of our people that worked down the building here was cranking it up. I wonder what it was. Whatever it was, he was going for it. Crank it up. Yeah, I get really embarrassed if mine gets a little, all too loud. All I listen to are books on, or I almost said books on tape. Audio books probably sound like you're cranking a Vince Flynn novel. Yep, that's a big one for. Actually, I'm all done with those. Windows down.

and everybody else can hear it at the intersection. You never just like need a quick like song at max volume on your way home or something, really? I used to be. Oh, I need that every once in a while or else I would go insane. I don't turn it up too loud anymore. That's all I cared about when I was younger if I was getting a car. Didn't care about anything. Didn't care about the engine.

Didn't care about how it looked. Does the stereo rock? That's all I wanted. That's all I cared about. It was so stupid. Does the Stazario Rizzisak? I've told you guys before, I spent $500 on my first car, but I spent $2,500. Well, I shouldn't say spent.

I took out a credit card and charged $2,500 on the car stereo. Just nonsense, Josh. My dad dug me a grave. He chose not to murder me, but it was pretty close. Well, that took me about, I don't know, seven years to pay back. Was it one of those things where you just did, like, the minimum payment every time? Yep. Interest rate was twice as much.

That's all right. That's like me with, I had a furniture credit card and I had like $800 bucks on it. It took me like 10 years to pay it off. What's wrong with you? That's all right, Cubby, because Operation Mine Crime sounded pretty cool coming through your car stereo. You're not kidding.

You didn't believe in love. No, I still don't. Not at all. Whatever happened to the stereo system? I don't know if you've ever told the side. Did you just sell the car with it? Did you take it out? The car died.

A lot quicker than I was still making payments on my stereo by the time the car died. I took it out and ended up just giving it to a buddy. I didn't have a car for a while. There you frigging go. God, that car would rattle, fall apart. Didn't have a car for a while. Had to pay back that stupid Circuit City credit card. Oh, my God.

Yeah, you could get a car. No, it was so dumb. But it was worth it at the time, I thought. When we first met, one of the first couple dates we went on, we went to Circuit City or something like that. because Josh was still obsessed with stereo equipment and things like that. Yep. So he wanted me to come with him while he looked at a this and of that, into this, into that.

A couple of my. You were into the, that's how long we've known each other. When we first met, you were still in that car stereo mode. Yep. You loved it. All right, you dickbags. Let's get moving in a forward direction. She's, what, Wednesday?

It is. It's been going by quick. Has it for you guys as well, I hope? Feels all right. Nah, not really. But that's all right. I'm happy for you. It feels all right.

I'm sorry, athletes. Coming up next, we'll hit up the stupid news. We'll be here all morning, but we'll return in a few minutes. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer

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All right. Yeah, we're going to get going. We'll get headed towards that stupid news report in just a minute or two, but first, We were talking about being too old for this and too old for that. Specifically, there was an article that I stumbled upon here. Activities that should have an age limit. And they talked about things like fist fights, prank telephone calls, starting a garage band. People asked via text, Josh, because I brought up the silly idea of you.

and I in our 50s suddenly starting a garage band. I think that would be ridiculous. People were asking, though, via the text machine, what will we call our act? All I could come up with was balls. That'd be cool, because then we could joke around, like, if we're going to put out a new album, say, listen for the balls drop or something. This Friday, the balls are going to drop. We would just be balls.

Yeah. Let's see. What else was covered in this article? Because finger bang's already taken. Yeah. Gross. What the hell? What other activities were in this article?

I thought shotgunning beers was one that maybe there'd be varying a period. Oh, I neglected to mention that one, shotguning beers. Yeah, I mean, once you're out of high school, no one really cares how fast you can drink a beer. Yeah, yeah, I'm too old to be doing that. You think you're too old? How old are you again, 28? 28.

29 soon. I wonder if I even could at this age. I've never been able to do it. Never been able to? I could get it done. But the trick is you just have, Josh, you'll like this. The trick is you just have to stick your tongue out a little because it relaxes your throat, kind of opens it up. I did not know that.

I'm just so used to drinking beer through a straw. It would be weird to do it any other way. People brought up going to a music festival. There should be an age limit on going to a music festival. You don't have to convince me any further. I gave up on that gimmick years ago. Wee Fest was brought into the conversation. Big Island on Lake Minnetonka was brought into the conversation.

Now, I mentioned because I'm a Lake Minnetonka guy, you don't have to be balls to the walls to hang out at Big Island. There usually is a string of boats tied together of the high school early 20s crowd, and they blow the doors off the joint. And then you go a little further down, you'll find some 30-year-olds 40-50 big island really is all ages you just got to know where to go so but i'll tell you a quick story when i was about i don't know 34 35 i was out on the lake a couple of pals with me a couple of foxy ladies and i thought i mean i guess i didn't really think much about it i wasn't

thinking am i too old for this particular group because i approached a great group because i approached a group of boats. It was a packed day on Big Island where you basically had to back your boat in between two other boats and just tie up. It was just mobbed. But I had some company with me and I wanted to show them a good time. So here I am 34, 35. I had some gray in my hair. I certainly wasn't 20, but I really didn't think much of it. So I'm backing my boat in between. And this crowd was these people were probably 22, 23, the gal with the thong, bikinis, and they're cranking up the rap music, right? But here I am, but I'm backing in between, I thought, I'll be all right.

As soon as I got into my spot through the anchor, turned the engine off, I heard one of the gals in the boat next to me say this. Oh, great. You're like, no, I'm cool. I'm cool. I've only had one experience out there. That's why I thought maybe I'm too old because it was everything I was told it was. It was crazy, like rich people on boats I never knew could be that big on a lake. There's some rocket ships.

And like you said, you could just walk across the lake. There's so many boats tied next to each other. I didn't see any older folks. But I thought, man, it's exactly what it was told it would be like. Here these gals, one in particular thought the fact that me and my group joined theirs, we'd just ruin their whole Saturday. Oh, great. Uncle Rico showed up. A couple of other texts.

What do you think about this? Having sex in a car. Is there an age limit on that? Once you have a home. That's hilarious. Just go home. But what if you are? Shake things up.

You got to bed? You've been married for a while. But here's the thing. You've got to understand, actually. Maybe if you're, like, completely hammered or something. Some people have no choice. I know a couple of guys. Kids?

Dave. Oh. You might get there, Ashley. Yeah, I forget about that. They got grown kids or semi-grown kids. The gal that they met online also has grown or semi-grown kids that are always at the house. I mean, I suppose a hotel room is an option, but the guys that I know who are involved in this type of thing, they're cheap as ass. They don't want to spend $2, so they don't want to do the hotel room.

So yeah, they meet at parking rides and they bang in the car. Oh, I've heard those parking rides are just a cesspool of sex. Oh, they are. And cheating. Yeah. A buddy of mine, back when, you know, if you had a saw-z-all, your activity every day would go to a parking ride and steal catalytic converters. Oh, yeah. And that was going like crazy.

The cops in my hood, they would park over there at the parking ride and just wait for somebody to go through and zip through them and then, you know, arrest them. but one of my friends were saying what we see more of are people hooking up at the parking ride before or after work cheating on their spouses and going home. It's hilarious. He said they caught so much of that. It was crazy. So, yeah, they're well aware, these fellers that I'm familiar with,

they're well aware that they're too old to be banging in a car, but they got nowhere else to go. I guess maybe if I had like a big van, it would be okay, but that's just so uncomfortable. And they got to get some. You'll get there, Ashley. They got to get some. You'll get there.

What about going to a nightclub? Back in the day, there was tropics, and I can't think of the other ones. But some of those, like someplace with foam dancing. Are there places like that now? I guess I wouldn't know. I don't know. Like meat markets? I don't know.

Dana, somebody said, what about going to a Bill's tailgate partying and jumping through a table? No age limit on that. Yeah, Josh, you know, it's been so many years since I wandered around downtown Minneapolis on a Friday or Saturday night and bounced in and out of the bars. I mean, sure, I go to a twins game now and again, and I might have a couple beers beforehand at a joint. I'm talking about, you know, that 11 p.m. to 2 a.m. crowd. It's been so long. I don't really know what's there anymore.

But I do remember being, you know, 32, 33 walking into those joints. And more than anything, the crowd was just too much for me. You're just nuts to butts. And the noise was too much for me. And that's 22 years ago. So I imagine now I wouldn't last 10 seconds. That's where I learned the term I-effing. Was that Tropics or one of those?

What was some of the gators? Not Gators. That was at the Mall of America. I remember tropics. I can't think. I know there was another one or two. You're trying to come up with the places that we used to go when we were in our twos. Yeah, that were like kind of those meat marks.

There was jukebox Saturday night. There was Mark Rosen's, the Loon. See, I'm done. I don't know. A guy dressed as a pimp came over and got in my friend's face when we were at one of these places say, hey, why you I-Fing my friend? And none of us had ever heard that term before. I was totally confused.

What do you mean? Like coming on to him or whatever? And then he explained, no, you're looking like you want to fight or something to my buddy. That's not what that means. He's weird for that. Oh, really? No. Oh, I still thought to this day that's what that meant.

You were right. Yeah, when I like, I F somebody, that means like, That's bad. I want to get you in the bed. Oh, wait a minute. I thought it was like... No. I thought it was like an aggressive thing as the way it was described to me.

I've never used it in that context. Well, it's different, I think, among generations. I apologize, Josh, because I certainly went to all those joints when we were kids, but I never paid attention to what the names of them were. You know what I mean? I couldn't tell you where I was, the name of the joint, but I remember all those clubs you're referring to. Oh, waterworks?

That was one. That was way the hell up in center. Yeah, I'm just trying to think like those hot clubs. Oh, it doesn't necessarily have to be Minneapolis. No, not at all in Minneapolis. Oh, Oakdale had the Gold Rush? Yeah, Gold Rush. Was there one with a star in the name, like Stargay?

Brown Star? Yeah, Gold Rush. Yeah, what is the up with these days? Waterworks. Synergy. I don't remember Synergy. Waterworks was a big effing. I think they had some softball fields, and that's where young people went to middle in nowhere.

Sure, was it called After the Gold. rush, I think. That was maybe Oak Day. It's been so many years. This is the one I'll thinking about. Go ahead. Club Cancun. Oh, yeah. That's where I learned about I. Are you sure it means having wanting to have sex? I don't know what happened to my voice there. Are you sure that's what it means? That's how I've always heard it.

Josh. For us, it meant starting trouble. For younger people, it means sex. All right. Where was club? What did you say? Club Cancun? Where was that? Okay, was that like a St. Paul suburb, too? I can't I'm getting kind of confused for those words. I'm just remembering radio promos from back in the day, like,

two-for-one, Yagerbombs all night at Club Cancun. Yeah, the old, like you listen late-night radio like KDWB or The Edge even. We used to run those. We hit the teen nights. Yeah, not often, maybe just a couple times. When we were in high school, we'd go to the 16 and up night. I never would. My parents wouldn't let me do that.

No, me either. And I always wanted to. What did your parents have to do with it? You had to tell your parents. where you were going before you left when i was 16 i didn't have a car i mean i i'd have to if my she'd always ask hey where are you guys going why don't you just lie to them well i don't know i'm not i don't like to lie but do you think that i always told my folks where we were going well you don't mind lying i don't i don't know i just so yeah we would hit those teen clubs once or twice

and yes those places sound familiar waterworks gold rush tropics stargate stargate that's what i was thinking of are there any of those places anymore I mean, maybe I'm just so out of it, I don't know. But back in the day, it seemed like there were like these big, like if you wore a shirt under a vest, you were doing it wrong. Just the vest, baby. Don't wear a shirt underneath. Good Lord. There was like the myth when I was growing up.

They did like 16 plus, but I don't think those places exist anymore because all it created was kids drinking underage secretly. Josh. Making mistakes. Cottage Grove was Gold Rush. Okay, yeah. St. Cloud had rum run. that had an 18 plus night on Wednesdays that we used to hit up when we were freshmen. The goals get as loaded as you could in the dorm and then go to rum runners.

Word. Hogs breath people are shan. I don't remember that as like a meat market. I have no. Tropic style, but. I only think I walked in. I think I walked in there once or twice. Hogs breath.

Is that the one like St. Paul? Yeah, like Oakdale Maplewood area? That's still around. Yeah, I never, I didn't go that far very often unless I was chasing some squish. Uh, Twin City Trucker Jesus. What was the name of the one on 280 and Como? Oh, yeah. Damn, I went there a few times, yeah.

That's right here. Yep, can't think of it. Right, I know the joint. You know what else we covered when we were talking about activities that might need an age limit? Calling somebody bro. Now, this cracked me up. Big dump Jesus texted in, said he's 35. How would I define this?

kind of like spreading the disease here. Big dump Jesus is 35. He said he recently started calling his 68-year-old friend, bro. He hated it. He would get angry every time telling me, hey, I'm not your bro. But now he's heard it so many times. This 68-year-old guy is now calling other men, bro, and now he hates himself for it.

That's how it goes, right? Mm-hmm. I wonder if I'll ever age out of bro or dude. Sometimes I do wonder if I'm too old to say that kind of stuff. I don't know, Josh. Like I said, it's a habit, you know. I don't think you're trying. See, here's the thing.

You're not trying to sound young when you call someone bro. Just always have. It's just a thing. I mean, it's different if you're forcing it. So I don't think it's embarrassing at all. It's just a habit that's hard to break. So a lot of people have texts in about saying, hey, you're too old. there should be an age limit on wearing your hat backwards.

That one has been done to death. We don't need to hear that. My wife loves it. I don't need more. Just because I kind of wondered that myself. But my wife, which is weird because my wife hates my face. But she likes it when I wear my hat backwards. And all women do.

I just, I kind of forgot I did when we took pictures. All women hate Josh's face? No, they love the hat backwards look. At least everyone that I've ever met. Oh, really? Yeah. So your wife hates your face, but she wants to. But she likes that. And when we did our pictures here, I had it on backwards.

I didn't really think about it. He got a lot of crap about it. I was like, oh, okay, maybe I am too old. I don't know. I've almost come to blows twice with old timers at the WIS at Allegion over my hat being on backwards. And I just, I've had enough of that crap. Yeah, I'm not trying to be aggressive or I F somebody,

or the way I used to think it meant. Now I know. These hard-ons who try to tell you how to wear your hat. And back to the bro thing, Josh. Like I said, it's just a A crutch, it's a habit. Now, if you were wearing a flat-brimmed Red Bull hat with a skateboard on your back

in your 50s calling people bro, then I might wonder if there's something going on with you. Oh, your piercings. Bring on the con, Jesus says. I feel like you're too old as a guy to have your freaking ears pierced unless you're a rock star. That it makes sense because there's an image.

I took my piercings out When I turned I don't know 25 I remember that's right You had earrings in both ears didn't you Yeah I had one in each I got my I had my ears pierced when I was like 16 And I just kind of stopped wearing them And then I decided to redo them

Getting pierce again when I was in college And I walked into and I had those big like fake diamonds That looks so stupid And I walk in and I'm chatting with my roommate And you notices the earrings He goes oh you douchebag And I was like, yeah, you're right. Yeah, I'd really check those out right now or else we could not live together.

Skinny Carpenter Jesus said, you better be able to kickflip if you're doing that in your 50s. That's right. You got a skateboard on your back. You got to do some tricks. Kick flip for me, bitch. All right, let's scoot along here and try to cover a little bit of stupid news. Hold my hand on this one, Josh. I'm going to need it.

One of those subjects where I'll be talking. I will. But I'm going to need the rest of you is to make sense of it all. I don't live in this world. So here goes nothing. It says here, anime has never been bigger than it is right now. I'll go along with it. I wouldn't know word one about anime.

I know a lot of people that are really into it. Crunchy roll, right? Isn't that the main source for it? Netflix has some stuff. Okay. Do we have the time for you to explain to me what exactly is anime, just cartoons? Just Japanese animation. What do they do?

They bump. Oh, yeah, definitely. There's some of that. Like Pokemon would be considered anime. It's a lot of relationship drawn. Would Castlevania be considered anime, the version they had on Netflix? Oh, I guess I'm not sure. I didn't catch that.

I know there's some distinctions, but that was incredibly violent. And I think some of the anime can be focused towards adults. I'm sorry if this sounds ignorant. I'm not super into it or anything. It's a cartoon. It could be anything. Sex, violence. Yep. Okay. Anime's never been bigger than it is right now. Down there in Texas, there's one feller who might have to go ahead and go to jail over anime. Jail, they said. Dude made a telephone call to the by God governor's office.

He called the governor of Texas, and he threatened the sum bitch. He said that the governor has been making it so he can't watch anime online. Does that make any sense at all from the get-go? Does the average governor have that type of power to stop a feller from watching anime? No. Okay. I don't think so unless the governor is, like, secretly a part of a bigger organization? I don't know.

Joe, the crackpot here is called Joe. Now he's up against criminal charges for this and that, terroristic threats against a public servant because of that telephone call. He left a voicemail that said, hey, governor gibroni, whatever the, guy's name is. Joe said, more or less, he said, let me watch anime or else. Oh, wait, wait, here's the verbiage from the voice message that Joe left. I got the whole smear here. See if we can make sense of this.

So Joe said, this is great. I don't know which one of you sons of bitches pass this mother effing bill to get this blocked. My mother effing anime. But you whole ass mother effers need to unpass this. I'm a effing stab every damn. So obviously this guy needs to be talked to. The news.

I'll wait in case you say it. What? Oh, I'm a stab every damn one of you bitches. Unblock my effin anime. I saw him interviewed afterwards and he's kind of well-spoken in a way. He's like, yeah, you know, I don't remember making that phone call. Of course he doesn't remember. Maybe I had a mental breakdown.

I mean, if I said those types of things, I'm certainly frustrated by this, but yeah, I can't recall making that phone call. It didn't seem like a psychopath. Poo Pee Pee's Cheeses said, Castlevania is anime and it's fantastic. Other people are saying that, what's it called, era era, anime is not porn. Yeah, it's, I think maybe we misspoke. I thought that they had, like, there's some sex stuff to it. Is that not the case? I mean, it's just like any other show where they, I mean, there could be, like, romance,

like that kind of vibe, but it's not like, you're not going to see, like, really graphic stuff. That's hentai or whatever. Yeah, and so. It's, like, anime-type porn. I think that's kind of what was banned in Texas, right? So it was some more restrictions on porn and things like that, and then anime got tossed into that. UPS Golden Valley Delivery Jesus texted in to scream, I mean anime.

So they traced a call to Joe's house. I mean anime. The terroristic call he made to the governor's office, they traced a call. If he's found guilty, Joe might have to sit in the stony lonesome for a smooth 10 years or so. He could just like Google. I'm sure how to watch porn in Texas still. And I'm sure there's like a lot of easy ways to do it. Like people are texting and saying,

I thought he wanted to watch anime. Has this dude ever heard of a VPN? Like, just get a VPN. What? It's, what does it stand for? Well, wait a minute. I thought he wanted to watch anime, not porn. I'm thinking he wants to watch, like, anime-style porn.

Oh, I don't know. Well, I thought the gist was, he might just want to watch anime, but it got kind of lumped in with this other stuff they're trying to regulate. Oh, alright. That's what I thought. Virtual Private Network. That's what stands for, right? I think that's kind of what the gist is here.

Ten years in prison for something he doesn't remember. remember doing. All right. So on and on, I'll throw this at you. Says here, Texas passed two laws in recent years cracking down on the open internet. One was an age verification law for porn websites. Okay. Another one requires Apple and Google to verify the ages of users before they download apps. Neither would outright ban anime, unless the anime Joe was trying to watch, was hosted on a porn site. It says now, none of the most popular anime streaming services such as crunchy roll, high dive, or Yomi, none of them are blocked in Texas. So I guess bottom line is no one really knows what was bothering Joe so badly that he had to threaten the governor.

Sounds like he doesn't even know. He doesn't know. He doesn't remember. It's big, though, they say. Anime's having its biggest push right now. I've heard more about it in the last few years. I mean, I've heard COVID kind of made it big. Oh, yeah?

Folks were looking for something to watch. I've got a couple of buddies that are really into it. I've tried it. I just, I can't get into it. I don't matter how hard I try. I'd have to watch it. What is it that your friends like about it, Josh? Do you know?

Well, they like the stories. You know, they just, I don't know. I guess I've never asked specifically, but they'll kind of tell me like what's going on in certain stories. There's so many of them that it's a whole different world than what I. We don't have Crunchyroll or anything. So I've seen Castlevania. Now there's varying opinions on whether or not.

that's anime coming in via text. One day maybe I'll try it. I'm sure you've seen clips. Uncle Lonsdale Jesus says you can stream free anime at Hogbauer Automotive, Third Avenue and Main Street. I didn't think they even had the internet. Yeah, I didn't think they had Wi-Fi. Oh yeah, they got Wi-Fi.

All right. Josh, you know that big Iron Maiden Megadeth show coming up in a month or so? Can't wait. We're going, right? Yep. We'll be there. I had an idea. You want to drop some of that Molly before we walk into the joint? That would be awesome.

MDMA, right? That's another name for Molly. I can get you some. Can you really? What does that do for a fella? I understand it's some goofy-ass hallucinatory garbage that makes you orgasm in your pants while simultaneously crying your eyes out.

That's what I hear about Molly. You don't hallucinate. Don't even need the drugs for that. Yeah, it's just like... You hallucinate, you mess your pants, you cry. What was that? I was just trying to think of a good way to describe it. Yeah, oh yeah, like you definitely, like,

I feel really happy. euphoric. That's why it's perfect for dubstep shows because all those cool lights and all that. In your pants. Yeah, except once the come down afterwards, it's very dark. And then they get very sad. Yeah, like literally, yeah.

That's what I said. According to the AI overview, it acts as both as stimulant and a mild psychedelic, gives people a strong sense of high energy, deep happiness, emotional warmth, and closeness to others. Well, that sounds wonderful. Yeah. And then you spot.

and then you cry. Is this the one where you're eating fake lice out of people's hair and stuff like that, or is that a different drug? No, that's a different one. Which is the one I need a pacifier for? Yeah, that's what I was just about to ask. I guess actually it would work for Molly or like ecstasy because whenever you do Molly, the first, I know for sure that I'm not sure about ecstasy, but you want to be chewing gum. And I think that's why they like the pacifier is because if you don't,

you'll just like bite your cheek the whole time. Will Copenhagen suffice? Probably. That would probably work. All right. So I think. Peepees Jesus said it just feels like you want to pet fluffy kitties. That's what Molly does for a fellow. I think MDMA, Iron Maiden, and Megadeth sounds like a cool mix for a couple of guys.

So Josh and I might be trying that out. Now here's a guy arrested. He filled a hotel bathtub with potatoes during a five-day MDMA. binge. Wow. This guy, he likes to eat all the Mollies. He's in stupid England. Everyone's talking about this piece of work.

He goes by the name of James, and here's what he did. He went on a five-day Molly Bender and got arrested while filling up a bathtub with potatoes. How much Molly is he doing? I don't know. All of it. I do love potatoes. Word is James ordered a big, oversized bucket full of that MDMA Mollies. He ordered it off the dark web.

Yeah, that's where the person that I knew used to get it from. I was like, dude, that's sketchy. What are you doing? How so? And then he booked himself into a hotel. He and some bros. Some of his Molly bros joined him in the hotel. And they decided to just go ahead.

him get higher than a hippie in a hot air balloon. Four days go by. And I'm imagining they were probably making a hell of a lot of noise in their hotel. The staff got a little worried. Four days go by. The staff calls the police. Police kicks down the hotel room door. And they found James and his pals.

They're all in there. All of them dressed up in women's underwears. and James was busy filling the bathtub smooth up with potatoes. No explanation behind the potatoes and the bathtub. I would love to have been there when they workshop that idea just to see a bunch of dudes high on Molly. Wearing women's underwear.

Yeah, talking about what they're going to do next. James had to see a judge about all this. In court, the judge called the case bizarre, and he's correct. And the judge asked James. The judge more or less said, you know, what the hell's wrong with you? James said

he was sorry he blew up, but he also said it just felt like the right thing to do at the time. So there you go. Understood. There you friggin go. One of my favorite, hotel room stories

also has to do with the bathtub. One of my favorite people. One of my favorite gals ever. Old, old, old high school friend of mine. She's passed away now, unfortunately. But she had this great story about when she went to prom her senior year. She really, really, really liked the guy

that she went to prom with. And she was kind of hoping that, you know, they would get at the F on once they got up to that hotel room. And her hopes even shot even higher. Her hopes were even higher when they got into the hotel room and her prom date disappeared for about 10 minutes into the bathroom. And all she could hear was the tub running.

And she thought, wow, wewa, this is it. It's freshening it up? Well, no. She assumed he was filling the bathtub, you know, the two of them were going to take a sensual sexual, right? So she hears the bathtub and she's like, oh, my God, he's finally going to pin me. He's going to bring me into the bathroom. We're going to get in the hot tub together and maybe some flower petals or something. Good Lord.

And so she's very excited. Dude swings open the bathroom door and he had filled the bathtub with ice and old Milwaukee. I respect to that so much. That's so badass. I love that move back in the day. She said, hey, I'm like any other high school kid, I love old Milwaukee. But come on, man. Did they eventually get it on later?

Yeah, I'm sure they did. A couple old Milwaukee's might get you there. He probably gave her like 30 seconds of pounding, you know, up against the wall or something. Yeah. She was hoping for, you know, something a little more. Romantic. Yeah, that's why you get a hotel room. You got a tub full of old mud, ice cold.

You had to be there. Sports. On the 93 eggs half-assed morning show. Yes, I watched the Twins game last night. The Twins were kind of like Scott Evil last night, Josh. They just didn't get it. They didn't get it last night? No, they didn't have it last night,

and they lost to the Baltimore Orioles by a final final of five to two. I don't know, five, six innings? They got the lead-off man on. They were getting guys on base. Just couldn't drive the peckerhead. He's in. Then you had that big stupid Pete Alonzo jagoff. He hit a home run. Sorted incoarnation. They got an incoarnation playing for the Orioles this year. Do you know that, Josh? That's pretty cool. No, I didn't. He hit a home run. I'm a big guy. I'm a big strong guy.

Yeah, right. They got to settle things today, the rubber game today. Day game. What's his name again? Zebby Matthews pitching for the twins. The links have a game tonight. The links are on the road at Portland. Still best team in the WNBA. Randy Schaber will be diving into the mix a little bit later on. Oh, and Brad Ryder even. We might even get lucky and get a dose of Brad Ryder. Isn't that exciting? Josh's news reports coming up next.

Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait.

Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke, he's got over 30 years experience in getting one. workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today.

763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Mike Drop, hosted by former Navy CEO, Mike Ridland. How would you characterize your prowess? I'd say my style is that I'd just kind of outwork everybody until I get there. Because I'm not a quitter. It's just you.

And that's yourself. There's everything else is team-oriented. The motivation, it was a sort of anger at myself for being weak. That ends up being the driving factor. That anger, that pride, that ego, I think it's a muscle. It gets stronger. When you take that voice seriously, you start to change your life. Mic drop.

Follow and listen on your favorite platform. 93x half-assed morning show. What it reversed, Ter? What'd it reverse? 93X rocks. Oh, love. Yeah, we have set the parking break, and we have a customer disturbance on board right now.

with threat. We want to go into a lockdown protocol for shutting down our engine. A Florida flight got a good old-fashioned dose of mild panic this weekend, all thanks to a text message that had absolutely zero to do with the plane. A Miami International Airport flight made a U-turn at the gate after a passenger glanced at a nearby traveler's phone and saw a text that concerned them saying, I'm taking everyone down. Bad phrasing and worse timing. The passenger, understandably not eager to discover what that meant at 30,000 feet, alerted a flight attendant who alerted the captain. The captain decided this was not exactly a wait-and-see situation,

so he turned the plane around before it ever left the ground. The Miami-Dade Sheriff's Office arrived ready for the worst and de-plained everyone out of an abundance of caution. The investigation determined there was no credible threat, just some drama from a side-eyeing out of context in a group chat. Thankfully, the text had nothing to do with aviation. It was two people having an unrelated conversation, which happened to sound an awful lot, like the opening line of a hijacking movie. The relief was instant once everyone realized the threat was just a massive literacy failure.

The threat was totally misread, and the text had nothing to do with the flight. How much would that suck if you're both the person that reported it and the person that was involved in that text? I wouldn't be pleased in either category. It kind of sounded like the person that was texting was looking around like, oh my God, what's going on? I've really caused this plane. Well, before they even realized that they were the one that caused the concern. I'd be so confused.

Yeah, that would be kind of a bummer. Oh, God. What in God's name? Oh, jeepers. I was reaching for my retainer, and I knocked the printer over. The friggin' printer. We need a new printer. Is your retainer?

okay? My retainer's just fine. Thank you for asking. You can't see it over there? No. Here, let's take a look. Oh, no. Turns out all those hours of Fortnite weren't wasted after all. They were basically a job interview. The U.S. government has hired more than 2,000 gamers as air traffic controllers, taking them straight from virtually teabagging tweens in Bangladesh to the very real business of keeping airplanes from balking into one another. I grew up playing a lot of flight simulators. I've always loved airplanes. well until they launched the applications.

Apply. The Department of Transportation rolled out the recruiting program in April, hoping to convince gaming enthusiasts to swap their controllers for control towers. The idea is, if you can land a virtual battle bus in Fortnite without getting eliminated immediately, you may have the skills to guide a Boeing 737 through a thunderstorm. I'm never going to fly again. It's fine. Oh, really?

Well, they say these people are qualified. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy announced on Sunday, they've hit 94% of their hiring goal, the most new staff brought on in a single year. Wow. The April recruitment video leaned all the way in flashing clips from games, including Fortnite and claiming, you've been training for this. You guys are trying to recruit gamers? They problem solved.

They're spatially aware. They do multiple things at the same time. They are looking for people that play with video games. Okay, well, that definitely fits me. You can merge gaming with aviation? Why not? It's like the best of both worlds. Now, if you're concerned, like Ashley, the Federal Aviation Administration's campaign

wasn't simply looking for people who know how to mash buttons and yell at strangers online. The FAA insists there's real logic here. If you can juggle a battle royale, a discord call, an energy drink, and a bag of chips at the same time, you might be FAA material. I went out past the test, and I can't wait to become an air traffic controller overall. This is my dream. This is exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life. I mean, this doesn't really make me nervous at all, and I'm a nervous flyer, but I have to admit that all the audio you're playing of these newly hired air traffic controllers, I'm picturing them as eighth graders. Well, I'll tell you what.

Which isn't fair. I'm sure they're not junior high students, but they kind of sound that way. I don't remember the specifics, but through the multiple reckonings in this building, I was kind of looking like, what am I to do when I get canned? And I thought about doing something like that. Oh, that's a high pressure gig. Well, I did worry about my wife's friend did that for many years, and she loved it. Absolutely loved it. So I thought, maybe I'll look into it. And so I did with this campaign.

I think I was too old to quite. Certainly, if you've worked there, you can stay there at a certain age. But I think I was too old by almost like 20 years. I can't remember the specifics. Oh, they had an age limit on it. Yeah, I was way too old to start. Huh. Hey, I mean, if they can get it done, they can get it done.

If air traffic control was anything like Gallagher, I might be able to land that game. Isn't there like... I can play the balls off of Gallagher. A lot of training that you should have to have. That's not going on video games. No, it's not like they just say, all right, jump in. I know, but like, I mean, there's extensive training. There's got to be more because...

I'm sure they went through all the proper training. I hope there's like, you know, a couple years of training. I don't want this to be like a three-month crash course. Don't call it a crash course. Ashley. They shouldn't teach how to crash. I don't think they were pulling kids out of their grandma's basement and just putting them in front of...

I'm sure they got them... I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. I would be surprised. I'd be quite surprised. I know there's been some boneheaded incidents, but I would be surprised. They say that the gamers demonstrate high cognitive functions.

Cognitive. You've got to have the cognitive functions. Strategy and problem solving. Well, good for them. It's not just that, Ashley. This is going to make you nervous too then. Oh, no. That last one didn't do you. A survey revealed surgeons

who play video games are at least at least three hours a week, perform 27% faster and make 37% fewer errors. Now, see, that doesn't make me nervous because they weren't just like playing video games and somebody was like, hey, I want you to be a surgeon because of your video games.

Why are you so convinced that these air traffic controllers had zero training? They have a lot of training. They'll be vetted. That's funny that you think that they're just, wait, you got an Xbox Live subscription? Come on in here. Start tomorrow.

It just seems weird. It is weird to know that video games have branched into a career as important as air traffic control. But I think you should trust the process. Yeah, we talked not too long ago about in the Marines, they were using an altered form of call of duty to train people. Dude. You know, so they're being trained. Yeah. That's insane.

It's a little different. While we're on the subject of video games, the gaming business was all. already printing money long before Fortnite was a thing. The 1993 video game NBA Jam grossed $2.3 billion worldwide in today's money in its first 12 months of release. This is back in 1993, three times as much as the highest grossing movie of 1993, which was... Let me try that out. The highest grossing movie in 93. It's not Jurassic Park, or is it Jurassic Park?

It is Jurassic Park. Where were you, Dana? I thought that was 94. it came out, but I guess, yeah, 93 makes sense. Yeah, because I was eight when I saw it. I remember that shocked the balls off of me when a pal of mine called me and said, you want to go see Jurassic Park? And I said, what are we, nine?

No. I said, it's stupid. It was a lot of fun. It's amazing. It's probably my favorite movie of all time. I loved it. I remember there was all these news stories about how it was too scary for kids. And my mom was like, you guys can't see Jurassic Park.

And my dad said, yeah, I'm taking the kids to go see a movie. And she goes, it better not be the dinosaur movie. He goes, no, no, we're going to see Lion King or whatever. And then we get in the car, my dad fires up the engine. He goes, we're seeing the dinosaur movie. Heck yeah. Have you ever seen the water squirder? No.

Well, the year 2001 came out. Ashley, will you read the exalt field dushy saying it? Yeah, the book was so good. Thank you, Ashley. Gosh, you sound so douchey, but I guess I'll take your word for it. The book? Yeah, you're not wrong. The book is so good.

It's much different than the movie, too. The book of Jurassic Park. Dana gifted, Dana, and his wife gifted my son like a kids' Jurassic Park book, and that bangs. What is a kids' Jurassic Park? It's only like 10 pages. We've all laughed at the guy getting arrested in a T-shirt that reads something like Not Guilty. But every once in a while, a mastermind comes along and completely redefines the genre.

Take the pickup truck driver pulled over Saturday in Arizona for broken taillight. And the police discovered that pickup came with a very specific reason. message a vanity plate advocating against drunk driving. Unfortunately, the driver apparently wasn't following that plate's advice. So the message intended for everybody else, apparently, but not the owner of that plate. Troopers stopped the pickup for the broken taillight, and when they pulled the driver over, they noticed signs of impairment. The driver admitted to drinking and driving.

The DWI, he picked up, wasn't just your standard driving while intoxicated. He'd also managed to driving while ironic. A lesson in practice what you preach, DPS officials said. A blood alcohol test showed the driver was two and a half times over the legal limit. The plate had the right idea. I just heard Throathausen. That was actually my stomach. Well, that was you?

Yeah, I didn't bring a bagel today. That was guthausen. The plate had the right idea. The driver, however, not so much. What did his bumper sticker say? It was advocating against drunk driving. Oh. Yeah.

And so apparently. It's like a, you can get that plate there. You have two plates. It looks like a regular license plate, but then they have another one with the actual plate number like you'd expect on any other vehicle. But that's a, that's a dude that I'd like to talk to and figure out what was going on there. Maybe he was driving somebody else's vehicle. Could be.

Yeah, that's a good guess. Or maybe he thought that would throw cops off the scent. Like, yeah, I saw him weave a little bit, but there's no way that guy would drink and drive. Another decent guess, yeah. He was in disguise. Nobody minds that a Nevada man wanted to spend his evening at Topgolf. That's a fun place to go. What they did mind, though, is what he did right before he got there,

because he proved considerably more problematic in those choices. Namely, driving drunk, hopping a curb, and plowing into a family pushing their toddler in a stroller, sending that child flying into a light pole, and her parents flying across the Las Vegas strip. Whoa. Jesus Christ. Relying on his vehicle's self-driving feature rather than simple self-control.

Again, with that crap. Police say the 28-year-old failed to pay full, quote, time and attention to driving when he drunkenly hopped a curb in his 2026 Tesla Model Y and slammed into the victims. The collision launched that toddler out of her stroller right into a light pole. Oh, my gosh. And as I mentioned, it sent her parents airborne right behind her. The entire brutal sequence was captured on the man's own video cameras on the vehicle. The Tesla's front and rear footage showed the electric car mounting the sidewalk,

mowing down the family, and then veering back onto the roadway, where he struck another car before speeding away. This guy blows. I just witnessed to hit and run and the guy took off. A witness reportedly told 911. The Las Vegas club promoter then drove straight to a nearby top golf. I just witnessed him to hit and run and the guy took off and I followed him. He looked like he was.

He walked out and he was kind of like stumbling a little bit. So it went tequila, Tesla, toddler, top golf. Yeah, you got to get your swings in, Josh. Once parked the Tesla's built-in cameras, caught the man getting out and calmly inspecting the fresh damage to his vehicle. Police tracked him down and arrested him at the venue shortly after. Here's something I probably should have asked before I was laughing so heartily. How's everyone doing?

Everybody's good. Oh, God. Okay, then it's funny. I would not have read the story. Oh, God. Like picturing poor toddler. I try and keep them not quite as dark. Everybody's completely fine.

Oh my gosh. When asked how much he'd been drinking, he reportedly said, give or take one or two. That apparently required some generous interpretation of the word one because his blood alcohol level was nearly three times the legal limit when he crashed into that family. He told police he had a tequila at a club and later believed he was at the cosmopolitan hotel but couldn't recall the actual name of the club. miraculously all three victims recovered from their injuries and eventually returned back home to the United Kingdom. What a trip that turned out to be. Man. Turns out the hardest part of being a criminal in the Twin Cities isn't evading the police.

It's surviving the phantom squad cars out for blood. A Minnetaka officer caught his burglary suspect fair and square Monday morning, only for his own empty squad car to cruise in and claim the collar. The officer, part of the Henneman County Auto Thief Task Force, chased the suspect down on foot and made the arrest about 920 a.m. in South Minneapolis. Case closed. Except the officer's own unoccupied vehicle apparently wasn't finished with that pursuit. Somewhere along the way, it appears, a ghost took the wheel, because somehow the officer's unoccupied vehicle struck the suspect after the arrest with the ecto collision, leaving him with non-life-threatening injuries. No word yet on whether the squad car has been placed on paid administrative leave or forced to undergo an exorcism. But the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension is leading that investigation into the Poltergeist Patrol.

So what? What, the car like jumped out of gear and ran a kid over? Yeah, or maybe somebody forgot to put it in the park. They're trying to figure out what happened. Possibly a malfunction of some sort. Or, again, don't rule out the ghost. Duluth's Fountain of the Wind Public Fountain recently underwent a under, excuse me, unexpected, highly sudsy makeover, courtesy of four people who decided Canal Park was overdue for a massive bubble bath, apparently. It happened about 10 p.m. August 1st. Four suspects dumped soap straight into the popular civic monument,

filling the area with mountains of suds. A 20-year-old Hermantown man walked away with a public nuisance citation for his role in the unsanctioned spa treatment, a bubbly bid for laughs that left the city scrubbing up a mess worth about three grand. Investigators are still looking for its missing suspects. Police wrote, three other people were involved in the incident, but we were unable to identify them at this time. Left to clean up after Duluth's premier midnight foam party, the possibly hungover and understandably annoyed city plumber had to respond and shut off the fountain. I mean, that sounds fun.

It does kind of sound fun. You just want to do that. Soap and water everywhere? Soap mountains. Did I send you that video yet, Ashley? No. I'm so stupid. I'll find it and I'll post it.

All right, yeah. You got to take a look at this thing. Today or, yeah, streaming right now, as a matter of fact. Ashley, I imagine you're pumped as I am, the fourth season premiere of Reacher on Prime Video. Oh, my gosh. So I, my gosh, weird. Sorry about that. I pump.

I breast pump in the morning. And so like I throw something on the TV. And when I turned it on today, I saw that and I thought like I was losing my mind. I was like, how come I didn't have any warm? of this. I think they're releasing the first three episodes of season four. I thought I read that. Oh, I love when they do that. Yes, this is the best

day ever. This season's based on the 13th Reacher book Gone Tomorrow. A couple days before her kid's first birthday, she says, this is the best day ever because Reacher season four comes out. Dude, because you know what I get to do today? I get to be the one that tells my husband about it. And that is such a good feeling because there's nobody that he

loves more in the world than that man. big fan. I know that. We got a couple golden birthdays today. Happy 12th to Josephine from mom and dad. And happy golden birthday to George in Grand Island, Nebraska, don't you know? Get the hell out of here. Also turning 12 on August 12th from Aunt Danny, aka Tree Hugger Sheez. Get that kid out of there. Give them a chance. Yeah, bring them here. Show them a good time. And happy birthday to a springer spaniel in the puppy hood, Frankie, turning the big 01. And that's 93x News. Shaver and Brad Ryder on the half-ass morning show. In my opinion, he's got the skill set and the abilities, you know,

not only just from a standpoint of accuracy, but his ability to affect the game with his athleticism, but he's also proven to be smart, you know, very hardworking and able to take in a lot of information and churn that out. And how we really want to give him the opportunity to really start building a comfort level, not only with the system, but with the guys. Jesus, it just goes on and on.

Randy Schaber. Good morning. It used to be a lot longer. Yeah, that clip was about like four minutes long. Yeah, yeah, this, that. We feel he can do this, that, this. Brad Ryder. Good morning.

The fellas are here. So the Vikings and their troubled head coach, Kelvin O'Connor, named Kyler Murrah. Their starting quarterback yesterday, huh? He's done enough. That's what they said. He's done enough. They didn't go out and get him.

They didn't go out and get him to, be the backup. No. Everybody assume this is their way it would go. Yeah. Everybody assume this is a way things would at least start. I think the the next big story is what happens with

McCarthy. How does he react? What do the Vikings decide if there's an injury to other players in the NFL at that position? Would he be traded? Would they be Would they trade him?

I mean, I think there's an interesting discussion to be had at some point. Maybe not right away. Well, we're going to have that conversation right away. Yeah. I mean, I think there's always a possibility of that. I doubt it. I think as long as McCarthy wants to be here, I think he'll be here. But who knows, you know?

I think if he's smart, if the player are smart, he puts his head down and shuts up. and shuts up because he may get his chance sooner than he thinks because there's a reason why Arizona paid us a lot of Kyler Murray's salary and he's not exactly coming in here and expected to be an all-pro quarterback. So if you're McCarthy, maybe you just sit and watch and you think, okay, my chance is probably still going to come at some point. So that would be my advice to him. I don't know if it's going to play out that way.

It says here, the totally unproven and injury-prone J.J. McCarthy will be the number two quarterback, where there are quite a few folks that think old broken-ass Carson Wence will actually end up as the backup. And McCarthy will end up just hanging around keeping stats with Max Brosmer. That's the possibility, too.

I don't think that is something that a lot of people thought might happen, but I think I kind of thought it would happen, just for the record. And they like it a lot. I knew this McCarthy kid was going to be a bus. But anyway, both Murrah and McCarthy will play in Saturday's preseason game against a New York Giants. There's a game already this Saturday?

Yeah. Oh, no. Party time. Oh, no. Yeah. Only three preseason games, though, Nick. So you're going to have to really, you know, get those parties ready because you'll only have three this year. I'm always ready for a preseason football party. Have you guys seen some of those memes going around with the announcement? No. That he's going to be the quarterback?

No, tell me about it. You know, they're mean. And everybody picks on his height, right? So it's a bunch of his teammates all smiling and then you kind of see the top of his head. Murrah? Yeah, that's the celebration photo. He's not the biggest guy in the world. No, what is he?

5.10? He's 5-1. 5-1. Is that right? So as we were just discussing, naturally, there are more than a couple of websites and whatnot that think that J.J. McCarthy will look to be traded now, or the Vikings will look to trade him. Trade him to a club where he might have a chance to play a little bit. A website called Yard Barker says the three most likely clubs to want to give a totally unproven

an injury-prone kid like McCarthy a chance are the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. the Los Angeles Ha? You're not going to play there. A chance to play, Brad? Just a chance? Well, how many? Because What's his nuts isn't happy, right?

Bunny McCarthy. Baker Mayfield. Bunny Mayfield? Los Angeles Chargers is another. No. What? Herbert's there. I'm going to play there either.

It's a chance. Again, Josh, this is the third time. You're saying a chance to play. It's only because. It's only because Hart's not. The yard ball is the coach there. That's the only reason why he would go there. You guys, send your messages to yard barker.com.

Our job here is just to desperately try to fill time. You know, there's so many articles on different sports blogs that have different teams. I mean, pretty much every team's, the Jets, that was a big one. A lot of folks are saying the Pittsburgh Stillers. It says here the Stillers must prepare for the post-Karon era. Yeah, that makes sense. Other people are mentioned, the Raiders, the Rams, the Argonauts. Raiders aren't going to trade for.

The Argonauts. They're always looking for something. Yeah, they always need help. So what does this say about your height? So according to the AI overview, Kyler Murray, I looked up how tall he is. 5'1. 5'1.5.10 and 1 8 inches. When do you stop putting in the fractions?

When you're six feet? When you stop being a professional athlete, because they always maxed. that out to the highest possible degree. To me, that probably says he's not even 5'10 because they're trying too hard to make him seem like he's 510. Oh, even did that in high school. I remember they took our height and weight and they looked

me up. They're 6-2? All right, 6-4, that is. You've got to make that roster look intimidating. On paper, they say. All right, so that's the situation with the Vikings going into their very exciting

opening preseason matchup. Saturday against the New York. Okay. Josh is showing me another disrespectful meme involving Kyler Murrah where he is in his Vikings uniform, Kyler Murrah, and he's fist bumping the dude from Game of Thrones.

Peter Dinklage. Peter Dinklet. But he's shorter. And he's shorter than Peter Dinklin. Oh, that's good. Who, by the way, Peter Dinklage was involved in that bit again. Space Pants. He's excellent.

love Peter Dinklage. I'm wearing space pants. I think he's great. One of the weirder bits in the history of Saturday Night Live, but Josh and I thought it was just wonderful and we don't know why. He's perfect in it. He's perfect. You have to see the video. I did see some disrespectful ones about McCarthy as well,

like one AI image of like McCarthy in his uniform with tears in his eyes holding like a juice box sippy cup type thing, you know. Yeah, he's crying like a little kid. Looking for his mommy? Yep. It's going to be a nightmare. It is. It's going to be fun, though.

It's going to be a total nightmare, but that is, that's what I look forward to. I want to thank Steelers fan Jesus for sending us that meme. Very disrespectful. Peter Dinklage, he's turned out to be one hell of an actor, hasn't he? He was awesome. And Dexter, Elf, obviously Game of Thrones. He was my favorite character in Game of Thrones. All right, let's jaw, Jack, a little bit more about starting quarterbacks and backup quarterbacks.

Earl Moral. is widely regarded as the greatest backup quarterback in NFL history from the old Baltimore Colts. Yep. And Miami Dolphins. Yes. Earl Morrill. Yep. He backed up Bob Greasy and Johnny Unitas.

Yes, he did. And Earl took the reins. Am I, do I have this correct? In 72, when the dolphins went on beating. Yes. They finished the season with Earl Morrill at quarterback. in the Super Bowl, I believe. I believe that's how it played itself out.

Yeah. So this is just a general article here on the best backup quarterbacks ever. They mention Earl Morrill as a great example. They mentioned footlong foals. Sure, he won the Super Bowl. Nick Foles. Yeah. And then, you know, the guy kind of, isn't it funny how it plays itself out?

You know, you have this unbelievable run, and then, you know, he goes right back to being a backup and things never really worked out for him again. I think that's with a lot of these examples, that's kind of what they're going for. These guys didn't necessarily step up as the starter and then have a brilliant career. They kind of had a one moment in time kind of a thing. Moral might be an exception to that. Well, I mean, maybe he isn't an exception to that rule because Earl, he kind of had a couple of huge moments. Other than that, I guess, he's, for a lot of football fans, he's kind of forgettable.

They also mentioned, oh wow, they mention Frank Reich. Oh, yeah. He led that comeback, right? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. One of my least favorite memories of being a football fan. Frank Reich, 93.

We were just talking about this guy not long ago. We were talking about Jeff Haas Stettler. Yes. The Haas, took the Giants all the way to a Super Bowl win. They also threw into the mix. Jim Plunkett. Yeah. Led the Raiders to a Super Bowl.

Doug Williams. Led the Redskins to a Super Bowl. The other two guys kind of confused me. I mean, I know Ryan Fitzpatrick had a long career, but he never really had a huge victory. He played for every single team in the league, Dan Mayer. Yeah, he did, but he never really had that Frank Reich, Jeff Hostet, or Doug Williams.

They also threw Kerry Collins into the conversation. He took the Panthers pretty far to the AFC championship one year, didn't he? NFC, yeah. I would say when I think about backup quarterbacks, at least the ones that kind of stood out when I was, you know, started watching football and caring about football. Zeke Prakowski, who was the backup quarterback for Bartstar,

was the name. And Bob Lee, who ended up playing a starting football, Falcons, but he played backup for the Vikings. Those two guys kind of stood out as what backup quarterbacks could do in this league. And, of course, Earl Morrill. Don Strock is another name. Don Stroke was around forever. I would say our, I'd say,

remember for years when the 49ers had both Montana and Steve Young? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You'd say the same thing about the Packers with Brent and Karen. And I would say the last one is Wade Wilson. Wade Wilson was a fantastic backup quarterback. Wade did all right. For the Vikings.

I would put Rich Gannon a notch higher than Wade Wilson. Yeah. Personally. Yeah. I thought Rich Gannon was so effing underrated, and when he was given the keys, I thought he did a great job. Well, yeah. Wasn't he the MVP for the Raiders?

Oh, yeah. When they won the – Well, they lost the Super Bowl. It was the MVP for the whole year. Oh, yes, you're right. Yeah. Yeah. Playing for that douchebag John Gruden down there.

Yeah, that's full. Fun. That's fun. Now, a lot of people are texting in about Steve Young. Now, again, yes, Steve Young was a backup like Brad Ryder just mentioned, but then he kind of went on to a long, wonderful career. Oh, Hall of Fame. The article was more focused again on kind of the backup who came out of nowhere, grabbed that ring and then disappeared all over again. But I'm not trying to discount Steve Young as an answer. He made his own career. He did. After standing on the sidelines watching Joe Montana for four or five years or something. I would say there's another former Viking Sean Hill was a backup that had a few moments.

He did? Yeah, I think so. He played for the Lions. We didn't have any Super Bowl or title game moments. No, no, if you're looking for that kind of thing. He handled himself decently. Of course, Josh Jobs on that list. We had our pastron out conversation yesterday, Bradrider.

Sorry, we were talking about Kurt Warner. People are texting. Gary Danielson? Gary Danielson. It was a very good backup. So was Doug Flutie? What about Charlie Batch? Charlie Batch.

For the Steelers, yes. They could plug him in, and you could win some games for him. Charlie Batch was cute like that. Can I tell you my Carrie Collins story again? So this was late 90s. I was down in Mississippi at a Brent Farr of Invitational Golf Tournament. This is when I partied my balls off with Michael Strayhan and Junior Seow and all that jibber-jabber. but the golfing, you know, massive golf tournament,

I was just rolling around in a golf cart, drinking beer all day long, watching these overpaid A-holes, golf all day long. And when the tournament was over, you know, everyone's rushing for the caddy shack or what do they call it, the 19th hole, the club, the clubhouse, right? The clubhouse. Everyone, all the players and all the caddies.

It was hot. So everyone's looking for a beer and a place to sit. Well, me and my ex-brother-in-law were the first two swinging Ds because we weren't golfing. We got ourselves a table. And I think we went to the beer tub, and we got ourselves three beers each because we knew that this was going to be a goat rodeo and we didn't be so many people. So I had three beers in front of me. And here comes Carrie Collins, who was quarterback for the Panthers at the time. He was invited to this tournament.

And he walks up to my ex-brother-in-law and I, and he goes, hey, can I have one of those? beers you guys got three each i'm dying for a beer you mind if i grab one and we said uh no and he walked away at least at least he didn't drop the don't you know who i am or anything like that we were just we were both buzzed up me in my exit and after he walked away i said we were just total dicks to carry collins right he said yeah i know i know it's kind of fun you know guys probably sweating just just golfed 18. The Gulf Coast of Mississippi in June or something was just hotter than Dutch love.

No. Yeah, oh, the beers? No. You can't have them. People are texting about their favorite backup quarterbacks. Jason Garrett's. Oh, yeah, I forgot. I forgot that he was back up there in Dallas for a long time.

Okay. Now how about this? This is a compilation of supposedly the worst starting quarterbacks in NFL history. The worst. What are the parameters at the side that? Okay. It says here several quarterbacks have been handed the starting job and failed to meet expectations. So let's throw expectations in there as a big factor.

It says here, often due to turnovers, poor accuracy, inability to handle pressure. Here are the guys who, yeah, were pretty much handed the gig with high expectations and then just more or less wet the bed. Rick Meyerer. Oh, yeah.

Seattle Seeducks from 93. He played, I mean, he was in the league for a long time. He was a number two overall pick, played at Notre Dame. Yeah. People were calling him the second coming at Joe Montana when he was a college ball player. Yep, agree.

And it just went into the toilet. Yeah. This will bring back some past trauma for Randy Schaver. Joey Harrington. He definitely deserves to be on that. He was swinging D when he was a college kid at University of Oregon, if I'm not mistaken, Oregon. That's right. Josh, he was the big man on campus.

Yeah, I remember Randy not liking. him though. Was that the Harrington jersey, you got him? Yes. For Christmas. So when Joey joined the Detroit Lions, Randy was the first guy to say, this kid sucks. He's not going to make it, right? And we were all like, I give him a chance, you know?

No, he sucks. So every time Harrington would wet the bed, Shaver would come on the show and have another tantrum about how much he disliked Joe. He was right. So just, we snuck up on him on his birthday or Christmas, We got him a beautiful Detroit Lions Joey Harrington jersey, and he unwrapped it and had another temper tantrum over how much he.

I love that. Do you still have that, Randy? Or did you get rid of it? I don't think I have it. No. You gave it to your son, Ryan. Oh, that's right. I think I did.

That's right. Because I remember sometime later I ran into Ryan and he was wearing the jersey. Oh, I'd love to wear that in 2026. Me too. Some of these guys, I don't quite remember. Akely Smith, Cincinnati Bengals. The name I remember, but I don't remember seeing him play. He was a high pick.

He was a top three trick, I think. Third overall in 19 and 99. Yeah, he was a high draft choice. Okay, man, the name is familiar, but I can't picture him. Blaine Gabbert. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He was drafted the same year as Ponder.

Funny you bring up Christian Pondner. I had a feeling we were going to get there. Oh, yeah. J.P. Lossman, yes, the name is familiar, but I don't. A first round pick out of Tulane. He played for the Buffalo Bills for a couple of years. years he was just piss poor. I don't like the sound of this.

They're picking on one of my favorite old quarterback, Steve DeBerg. Steve DeBerg was pretty tough out there. He was fine? Yeah. But they say, now give a guy a break. From 84 to 87, when he was starting for Tampa Bay, he went 8 and 29. Well, the whole team sucks. Yeah, they were garbage.

I don't like him picking on Steve DeBerg. He also started for the 49ers. Yeah, he backed. He backed up for the Chiefs for a while. Played for a lot of clubs, yeah. Yeah. He was all right. Yeah.

Chris Winky. Yeah, yeah. Carolina. Yeah. One in 15 in his rookie season. Oof. Yeah. And again, you got to factor in the expectations.

You know, Winky was what? Florida State, Miami. Which one was he? Well, he was Florida State. Steve Walsh was Miami. That's right. He was Florida State. He was a Heisman winner, was he not?

Mm-hmm. And he was older because he played baseball. Right. He didn't come back to football until he's like mid-20s or almost late 20s. Jake Locker. Again, these are, according to a website that I looked at this morning, these are supposedly the worst starting quarterbacks the NFL has ever seen. Jake Locker, a number of years ago for Tennessee, I don't remember his background.

Heath Schuller. Yeah. He was a high pick. Oh, in college, he was slinging it. Yeah. Slinging it. Cleveland, pardon me. Ryan Leaf is on that list.

Ryan Leaf is in here. Yeah. And Christian Ponder. Christian Ponder. I mean, I guess don't take into account the whole ISIS thing. He was a disappointment. He's made up for it. He's still working on that ISIS, figuring that out.

How about who, Randy Shaver? Well, Jamarcus Russell has to be on that list. Well, how dare he disparaged Demarcus Russell? Has to be on that list. He's not on the list, but, I mean. Oh, my gosh. He has to be. They forgot.

You know, they just, because yes, Jean-Marcus Russell was a total disaster. Honorable mention to Gino Toretta, perhaps. Yeah, Gino Toretta probably belongs in there somewhere. Terrific in college, you know, came to Minnesota and it just didn't work. I would say Jeff George might need to be... You son of a bitch. Now you did it.

Now you did it. He was so much fun to watch. Give me a break with that anti-Jef George crap. Yeah. He played for... I can really get you going with one more name, too. Go. Mike Lennon.

Mike Lennon was all right. Yeah. Handsome, some bitch. I would put Steve Berline in there. Oh, my God. Steve Burline. Okay. What's his name again?

Jeff George. Yeah. Indianapolis. Awful football team. He didn't have a chance in Indianapolis. Yeah. I'll give you that. How about...

Hey, he took the Vikings, you know, into the play. Go ahead. The guy that got just murdered when he played for the Texans, the number one pick. Oh, Rosenfels? No, no, no. Oh, sorry. I thought you meant the time when he got helicoptered. David Carr.

Oh, yeah, David Carr. He just got, I think he was sacked like 90 times when he was a rookie or something like that. We are looking at third and eight. Here we go. Rosenfeld by himself, penalty marker flies. And Rosenfeld lost the football. Pick Brackett, bracket, bracket, up the side. headline with blockers to the 10.

Rosen. That was a great highlight. All right, people are texting in. Wow, you know, again, I'm always impressed by the knowledge of our listening audience. When Chris Winky went one in 15 as a quarterback for the Carolina Panthers, the one win he had that year was against the Vikings. Of course it was. Rosie.

The other names that are coming in, yes, Johnny Mansell, Todd Morinovich, Josh Rosen, Rosen, Andre Ware. Oh, gosh. Really? Another former Viking. I'd say Paxton Lynch should be a good one if you're a Broncos fan. He was like a highly regarded pick. I remember the name.

Never really did anything. There you go. Matt Flynn. Tommy Maddix. That's fun. Hey, I got a question now. While we're talking football. Is this Harrison Smith dude playing again or not?

I don't think so. Is this one of the most drawn-out type of things that anyone can remember? What is he doing? What's going on with that dude? I don't think so. I don't think he's coming back. All right. But he's not officially retired. Correct. No, he has not. I really hope he comes back just for the sake of my wife.

It's an aphrodisiac for you. Big time, yeah, I need to know how my Sundays are going to go this year. She's got a crush on the guy or what? Oh, yeah, you should see her basement. Your basement? What is it? A lot of people tied up down there. We've got a room in her basement that's a Vikings bar, and has Vikings memorabilia everywhere,

and if you take a close look at it, a lot of it is Harrison Smith related. Tell her I said two words. Joey Browner. Twins didn't have it last night. Well, maybe I should say this. They were simply lacking in a specific department last night. They were setting them up.

They just weren't knocking them down. Lots of feathers got on base, but that's as far as they got. What did they do here? Yeah, they left 10 on base last night. One for 11 with runners in scoring position. They lost to the Baltimore Orioles by a final final of five to two. Not a good night for Bailey Ober.

It used to be the issue lately that they can't get the big hit with people on base. Last couple of games, yeah. Last couple three maybe. Bailey Ober, yeah, I mean, he looked a little beat up. He gave up the long ball last night. That did not help him last night. Yeah, three dongs. So they got to settle things tonight.

Pardon me, today. Yeah. So I looked this up. Two weeks from Friday, August 28th, they're going to play 15 games inside the division between August 28th and September 13th. They're going to play six against the White Sox, six against Detroit, and three against Cleveland, without a break, all division games for those 15 games. So if they can stay within fighting distance in the next. two weeks. Those are teams that, obviously, not only for the division, but the Tigers are now in second

place in the division. The Tigers are now a half game behind Texas in the wild card. So it's Texas with the final wild card spot. Then you have Detroit, the Twins, and Cleveland. Those three all vying for that final wild card spot. So if they can stay within the chase. in the next two weeks, they start playing teams inside the division, which will shuffle things even faster,

whether it's for the Central or for the wild card during that stretch. That's going to be a key stretch. Yeah, like you said, I mean, staying within distance is going to be key because I was looking at this too. And consistently that last wild card spot the last three, four weeks, the team is at 500. whether it's been the twins and now Texas or whoever it is, they're the 500 teams. So you've got to figure whoever gets that last wild card spot is probably going to be a 500 team.

Well, the twins are three under 500 right now. So they're a big concern. Like you said, going into that stretch in a couple of weeks, they've got to get back to 500 and consistently stay at 500. Because if they're three, four, they're three under 500. No, three under 500 right now. If they don't get to 500, I mean, we can talk about this all we want. It's not going to matter. The wild card, the final wild card is not going to have a losing record.

No, that's my point. You've got to get in there. Stop losing. Get the power play going. Right. Just get a shoot. I mean, you just have to shoot. You got to shoot the puck. Hey, back to our conversation on starting quarterbacks, backup quarterbacks over the years in the National Football League.

We all thought it was unfair that Steve DeBerg, a guy that played in the 80s and 90s, Steve DeBerg was named as one of the worst starters of all time. We all disagree with that. Steve DeBerg did all right. A listener texted in and said, since you brought up Steve DeBerg, I wanted to bring up the fact that he was one of the toughest quarterbacks to ever play the game. It says if you look this up, it's true.

Steve DeBerg played a series of games with a metal pin holding one of his fingers together. And the way it was set up, the pin stuck out the tip of his finger. and he played a series of football games with an exposed pin shooting out the tip of his finger. Let's not disregard that. Imagine getting that caught in somebody's jersey as you're... Oh. Yeah. All right.

So the twins wrap up their series today with who the hell they play in. Baltimore. Baltimore. And then they do the Field of Dreams thing. Yep. That'll be tomorrow night. So that game will be played under different rules than they've played with the entire baseball season. Yeah, they're doing the dizzy bat.

What is a dizzy bat? Where you spin around in the bat and then go up and try to swing? Oh, yeah, they're doing that. It's four fouls and you're out. And also it says here that the stadium and the state of Iowa in general doesn't have the proper technology to run the ABS system. so no challenge system will be in place. Not that that matters, I don't think, to too many people. Right.

But the Iwo-Eugans can't get that going down there? What's the problem, Randy Schaeber? No. They don't have a tower or whatever. What do you need for that? What do you need, Josh? A Wi-Fi tower or some sort of cable of? They don't have cable.

We don't have cable. Reliable electricity, that'd be a good one. They can't sustain the ABS system. We don't believe it. You don't believe in. They got to get plumbing figured out first. They don't believe in reliable electricity. No.

Make it unreliable. No. The Arizona Diamondbacks and San Diego Padres played under a similar condition. I guess they played two games in Mexico earlier this season, and they couldn't get the ABS system to work either. So it'll be, oh, you know what? It's only fitting, I think, that they'll just have to play baseball the old-timey way because this is supposed to be an old-timey event.

Right, exactly. You know, shoeless Joe Jackson and the whole routine from the movie, Eddie Shore, Tobe Lake. The game's being played in a cornfield. So, you know, let's all be Iow Asians for the night. Let's let her buck. Yeah. The old timey way, Josh. I like that.

Josh is going to the game on a bicycle with one huge tire in the front and a tiny little tire. I've been growing out my mustache, which I plan on curling tonight. I'm really curious to figure out how the travel works for both teams. Do you fly in to Cedar Rapids and bus 45 minutes? I don't know. How do you get there? Because it's not near any big town. You'd have to tell us.

You know the Iwo-Egan. How do you say it, geography. Yeah. I'm going to guess that's what they do because it's kind of the start of their series together anyway, and then they come back here. Then they come back here. So it's kind of a pain in the butt, to be honest.

Maybe it'd be fun if you'd be fun if you'd take the twins roster, you pair them up, and it's a cannonball run all the way down to the ball field. Whoever gets their first gets a million dollars. Bert Reynolds is there, Dom Deloese, Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin, Joe Clecoe, Terry Bradshaw. The cannonball run, Josh. I think that'd be fun. Uh-oh.

It was this day. How do I usually begin this, Josh? In the history? It was on this day in the history. in 19 and 94 when the pro baseball players went on strike and they had to gas the World Series and ended up killing the Expos

essentially. Right, Montreal Expos fans? That's a damn shame. And another one's coming as we all know. Yeah. Oh, which franchise are going to kill this time? Probably Miami. Yeah. You're done with it.

They're going to take the Marlins and spread that roster. It's all over for the Marlins. All right, we spent some time yesterday, Randy Shaver, I think you had already gone back to bed. But we spent some time yesterday talking about the heartless and very dangerous artificial intelligence movement. AI, this, AI, that. It can play some tricks on you. So you tell me, has everyone seen the picture going around of 68-year-old former big league ballplayer Wade Boggs?

No. No. I've seen it. Okay. Josh? You'll have to remind me. I don't think it doesn't, nothing rings a bell here. Okay.

What's the picture of? A picture is going around of Wade Boggs. Oh, after his treatment? No. Is that the, okay. Well, here's what I have. Maybe there's something to what you just said about treatment. I don't know.

It's a picture of Wade Boggs on a fishing boat. And he's got his shirt off. Yeah. My question is, is that a real picture or is jacked? He's, he looks like a 22-year-old from the neck down. He's absolutely. ripped sideways. Pecks? That's not.

Pumping. Shoulder muscles. Thumping. I guess I just bought it. Abs. Popping? Are popping. So if you can find that picture, you tell me, is that for real or is that some kind of

AI? Because he tweeted it, right? Yeah, he posted. Oh, he did. Oh, real. I mean, that doesn't mean that it's real. Maybe he was joking around. That dude is stacked sports fans right there, if that is for real.

He's 68. He looks like garbage from the neck up. That's the part that throws me. Oh, I don't think so. Oh. Yeah, I didn't even think that that could have been faked. Maybe I should have. Is that possible? It's possible. Sure. God. Because I don't remember him looking like that when he was 30. He did not look like that. So there you go. I don't know what to do with it, but there you go. I think I'm going to believe it because I was trying to find that one. I found that one and I found another one where he's out fishing. Have you seen that one? That's the one I just. That's the one that's the one I just referenced. I can't see the one. I can't see him from the like from the pecks down. Does that look

like a guy who can drink 72 beers in one day? So I don't know. You go ahead and figure that out for yourself. I'm going to believe that I think. You're going to say that's really Wade Boggs upper body? Well, I thought the gist was, you know, he survived cancer and he's just really taking his health into consideration. Obviously he hit the gym. But

Maybe it is big. I never even considered that. Holy balls. Ah, Wade Boggs. Any 68-year-old guy built like that? Yeah.

Leave the shirts at home, bro. You guys know what I'm saying. Soccer players are usually doing something stupid. This effing guy's lucky. He's still in one piece after this gong show. A video that's been going around of a Brazilian soccer player. He calls himself J.C. J-A-C-Y. I'll go along with it like Sting or Share. He's just got one name, J-C. He scored a goal in some silly

Brazilian soccer game. If you see the video, is this up on our website, Josh? Yeah. By the way, so is that Wade Boggs. I should have mentioned that. That photo is on our website too. Okay. Check out Wade Boggs and check this guy out. So he scores a goal, and of course, that's the greatest thing that's ever happened, right? You scored a goal. We have to celebrate for minutes on end. dude grabs the soccer ball, puts it under his shirt, that means nothing. But then he jumped over this advertising dasher board that lined the field, presumably to go celebrate further.

What this JC dude didn't know is that where he jumped over the barrier, there was a large effing hole in the ground and opening with a big set of stairs going down, skis into the locker rooms under the stadium. So dude jumped and he just kept falling. Oh my gosh. To watch this video is a lot of fun because the man just disappears into nothing. Right down the tunnel. He popped up and continued his celebration.

But then later in the game, apparently he was hurting from this fall and he went home. He does just disappear, doesn't he? Yeah, it's funny. I just trying to imagine what was going on in his head. head. I was like, where the heck's the ground? Does this mean that that grammatica dude is off the hook? Is he, is he?

To make matters even worse, the goal that this dude scored eventually was called off after video review, so it didn't even count. There he goes, right down the... You got to be careful out there. It's kind of interesting, though. I don't think I've ever seen anything like that. No.

A set of stairs. just off the field of play that just goes straight down. The locker rooms are underneath the field. Well, and there's like a big grass area behind the goal, so you wouldn't assume there'd be a set of stairs right there, right? You know, five feet off the field. You ever taking a tumble like that down a set of stairs, anybody? Thankfully, no.

I'm sure in college once or twice. I got knocked out once and I went to on my back, backwards down a set of stairs. Thanks to my twin brother. Bup, pup, ppup, pp, boom, all the way down to the bottom. What was nice was I was unconscious the entire time, didn't feel the thing. Didn't you say that was the best rest you ever had? There's something about, I'll always say this.

There's something about getting knocked out, and my brother knocked me out twice. There's something about it where when you come to, at least personally for me, it felt like I had the most restful sleep of my lifetime. You wouldn't think so, but you come to, at least for me, I came to totally refresh. How do you say it? Refresh. I was a new man. I was a new man.

The Minnesota Lynx play tonight at Portland. So there you go. Oh, what else is going on around here, boys? Anything on your mind? Nope. Not really. No, no. Not a damn thing.

You got it covered. Back to tomorrow's Field of Dreams game. Yeah. Didn't the Saints play their last night? Yes, but I don't know if it was televised. I stuck to the Twins game. I didn't bother. I don't think it was.

Did they check in at all? Did they? Yes, they did. During the Twins game, they mentioned that the Iwo-Egan Cubs and the St. Paul Saints were playing, and the Io-Egian team had the lead at one boat. So I didn't bother. Iowa 1-6-3. I didn't bother looking for it.

The only thing on my mind lately, I'm sorry, if you're going to finish that, but you guys probably talked about the John Anderson funeral. yesterday, didn't you? No. We did not, no. Oh, you didn't? No, we were unaware that he had his funeral yesterday. It was on Monday, yeah. Okay, and you went to the service? Funeral

viewing, and then in the evening they had a very, very well done and the university put it up online for people who are interested in watching it. They had a celebration of life service at the pavilion. So many of his former

players were there, Paul Molitor gave a great speech. Ryan Lefevre was amazing in his testimonial. His wife and daughter got up and did an amazing job. Anybody who likes Gopher Athletics and had any type of connection with Gopher Baseball at all, if you missed going to that Celebrational Life Service, I would encourage you to go online and find that on GopherSports.com

and watch that. It was really, really well done. Well, I'm glad it was a nice service and everything. Yeah, glad you get to go. There you go, Brad Rider. All right, thanks, Randy, and thanks, Brad. You bet. Okay.

Chat with you tomorrow. We'll be back in a few minutes on the Half-Ass Morning Show. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust standard heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about.

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Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialkylaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Start your day with the morning jolt of Drake C. Toll. See, now it's on demand. My podcast is kind of a radio thing, I think, but also it's a bit of a TV show

and it's about whatever I want it to be. It's listening live as it happened, when it happened, with the instant reaction. Your home for talking sports. We go back, the Drake Toll Show, Westwood One Sports Network, and there will be on demand on your radio. Anywhere in the country, I'll see you there.

Westwood One Sports Talk, your home for Drake C. Toll. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Half-assed morning show. 93X. All right, yeah, the Wednesday program trudges on. There's no stopping us now by God. And as usual, thanks so much for listening. Luxury is the word we're going to focus on for a stretch of time here.

Luxury. Ray. Cobby, you live a life of pure unmitigated luxury. Yeah, medium pimping. With your hoodies and your basketball shorts and your broken house in Egan and your giant color televisions. Look like a total stud. Hey, well, if you ask your younger self, I'm sure your younger self would consider it luxury. What you got going on.

Oh, absolutely. The list is long of all the things that a lot of people had that I assumed meant they were rich. cable television being on that list. And we're probably going to get there. But here's where we're going with this for now. Folks have been talking up and down. They've been talking about what they call here a luxury letdown. So by definition from what I read earlier,

this is a product or an experience, something fancy and schmancy, that folks really looked forward to trying or experiencing for themselves. but once they got it done, it really wasn't the mind-blowing event that they expected. And the conversation starts with something that we touched on a day or two ago, the hot tub.

I think we all agreed that you shouldn't believe the hype of the hot tub life. It's just silly and gross. And overall, it's just way too damn hot. So here's more on, again, what they call here, a luxury letdown. You wanted it. It was something fancy and shmashmash. Nancy that you thought, man, one day I'm going to get a blank or I'm going to do with it. And then when you finally got it done, it didn't really play out the way you first class airplane rides.

I've heard that before. Oh, I've actually heard that if you do international, very worth it. Because then you get like the whole like bed situation. You get like the three meals, free booze. But I heard that if you do domestic for the most part, it's just like some extra leg room. and maybe for alcohol. Now let me backtrack here real quick. A lot of the reasoning behind people's disappointment in these luxuries,

a lot of why it ended up being a luxury letdown was the cost. Yeah, too expensive for what you're getting. So starting with first class flights, a beef, a common beef amongst folks who were involved in this conversation said, the upgrade isn't worth the massive cost. I have flown first class once or twice, and if I remember right, I think it only cost us like $50 extra dollars.

So I imagine it depends on where you're going, what airplane company you're flying. Is that the last second thing? Yes, it was. Yeah. Yeah, we were tired and drunk. And I didn't know how to do it, but I was traveling with a buddy.

And he said, well, let's upgrade to first class so we can kick back and fall asleep because we were hammered. And I said, yeah, go ahead. I don't think it was that much money, but I know nothing about the travel industry. My wife is an expert on the travel industry. Maybe I'd like to ask her thoughts. I mean, she knows everything about what you were just talking about, Ashley,

when you go on those long plane rides and you basically get a bed to yourself. It's just, but I'd like to ask her, you know, I think in a lot of cases, because of this is how she makes her living, she doesn't necessarily have to pay for these things. It's kind of a write-off thing. You'd have to ask her. Ask an expert. Ask my wife, she would know.

But a lot of folks looked at first-class flights as a luxury letdown. I really love the free beer, and I love the stretching out. Yeah. I've only walked through it. You just see what the people that are living large look like for a couple seconds on your way to the very back cheapest. You see, they don't even let me walk through. They make me get in through the cargo thing and go through the. back of the plane.

You have to come up from the bottom? Yeah, they don't let me even walk through it because people are paying way too much money. Debton comes out of a hatch in the floor. While you're down there, while you're down there, will you feed the dogs and cats? Yeah, exactly. See, now, Josh, also, this just just occurred to me. And again, I know Dick Tracy about the airline industry, but maybe upgrading at the last minute isn't that expensive.

I bet. Compared to booking your first class ticket right from the get-go. Yeah, I think that's what I've seen that before. It's like, hey, our flight, it's full. We've got a couple first-class seats you want to upgrade for a few hundred bucks or whatever ends up. A few hundred bucks. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Sometimes it can be like a thousand bucks. Like I said, I swear to God, it was only like $50. Oh, the travel industry these days, they'll milk you for everything. I don't know. They've got a whole table for that. They call it a milking table. I can tell you this. If it would have been a few hundred dollars, I would have said no.

I've been looking at that lately. And I know through a booking app that I use, it's like $500 more for first class. Okay, here's a guy who says first class is only worth it for a cheap last minute upgrade. So he must know. So, yeah, it must cost a lot more if you just immediately book your ticket, you know, months ahead of. Here we go. What else is a luxury letdown? Bottle service at the club.

I never would even think to do that. Like, I don't know what. Costs a lot of money. Yeah, it doesn't seem. cool to me at all. I've never bought it myself, but I've been invited to a table that has it going on, and it seems like they're having a lot of fun. Yeah, but it's like 500 bucks for a $40 bottle of booze. I think that's kind of what people are saying. Yeah.

You can get the same bottle of some sort of fancy champagne for like, you know, a tenth of what it costs there. Just pregame. Bottle service. Hell yeah. Bring your own. Says here thousands of dollars for an underwhelming experience. no thanks on the bottle service at the club. Yes? This person says I fly internationally a lot for work. Company pays for us to fly first class.

My first class ticket to Australia from Minneapolis, $27,500. Oh, dude, I bet that was so bougie. What kind of company is it? Tell me more about it. Did you get one of those beds? Wait a minute. How are you... Did you hear what he said?

How can that be possible? I don't know. It seems like they should buy their own plane at that point. No. There's no way that riding in an airplane from here to Australia cost anyone $27,000. I don't know. I wonder if that was a typo. Yeah, I don't know. Again, I wish my- Get back to us if you don't mind. My wife was awake or if she's listening.

Yeah, because of his, definitely if his company is paying for more than one person to fly at the time. If there was like 10 of them, yeah, you could just buy your own plane. If that was 27 people going to Australia, I can believe. So he's saying he did not or he did have to pay for that. No, the company pays. I'm not buying that. And again, this is a guy who knows nothing about, but I'm 20 seconds. Okay.

Designer clothes and handbags is looked at by a lot of people as a luxury letdown. What do they say here? The excitement fades quickly after the purchase. Yeah, it's a complete waste of money. I've had people like a gift me those kind of things. And I mean, it's my wallet. So I'm holding it in my hand. It's going everywhere.

It's getting dirty from like being set on tables and countertops. It's stupid. would never buy myself, something like that. What do you think about that, Josh, getting your brand new clothes, man? You know, there was only one time in my life I ever cared about it, and it was when I was single, you know? They cared about how I dressed. I would always run into you at Abercrombie and Fitch back when we were single.

That was my jam. We had to get the fancy jeans and the torn-up t-shirts and the name-brand jeans. I got a visor there. But I can't imagine. I went to a friend of mine lives in California, and she showed me around, what's that? Beverly Hills, right? And so we went to a couple of shops.

They had a t-shirt there. It just looked like something you could pick up at Target and not even in a nice part of a Target shopping aisle. And the t-shirt was $700. And this is 25 years ago. Where the hell were they going? Australia? People are saying just to get to Australia,

you're spending $5, $6, $7,000 just on a normal ticket. Yeah, people are saying that they can believe it, that that's pretty spot on and normal. But somebody texted in and said that when your first class, flying to like a, you know, overseas and all that, that some airports have like, you can get a massage between your flights. I don't care if I get a BJ. That's crazy.

There's no reason why $20,000 is coming into play. I don't need to go anywhere that bad. I mean, people are texting in saying, $1,600, $20,000 to go from Minneapolis to Australia. I had no idea. Why would you ever give anyone that money? What are we doing? That's insane. There's other places.

out of this world to me. I don't need to go to Australia. All right. Josh and I used to buy. Well, you tell me, is Abercrombie and Fitch, I'm just using them as an example. Is that it? No. Is that technically designer clothes?

Not at all. No. That's not designer clothes. Who are designer clothes? I guess like Michael Coors. Gabachi. Isn't there one called like Gabachi or Gababi or something like that? Gucci.

Gucci. Yeah, I was going to say yes, but the way you're saying it is throw me off. Gucci. A luxury letdown. Tossing in a rundown of different luxury letdowns, according to folks who got involved in the questionnaire. Something that you were pumped about, something, a product or an experience that you wanted,

and then once you got it done, it wasn't quite what you expected it to be. Owning a boat. You always hear that. boats are money holes it says here and a lot of the time they're a lot more hassle than they're worth now i've been a boat owner for 18 17 18 years whatever it is and i've been very very lucky very lucky it costs a lot of money to get yourself a slip and all that i'm not going to deny that that's that's a lot of monies and yes i've spent a lot of monies yeah and you're just storing it and stuff you've told me

is really expensive. Yes, but I have been real lucky and avoided mechanical issues. The entire life of this boat. I've never had a problem that cost me more than a couple hundred dollars. What about it's incredible? They never attacked your boat. The otters know better. They're making a plan, Josh.

Well, they better get at me this summer because this is it. So I've been very lucky, but I understand I hear the horror stories about boats. The trouble I'm going through now is trying to get rid of it. And we're probably just at the very beginning of that. experience. Kind of surprised. It seems like everybody's, I shouldn't say everybody, but a lot of people are always in the market for a boat. Well, I've got one. Call me. I wanted it. My wife said no. Going to a pro sporting event. Oh, it definitely can be if your team loses.

Well, they don't talk about the Ws or the Ls. They just talk about the cost. Now, it is pretty crazy. I get that, yes. Going to a pro sporting event. If you've never been and you've always thought, wow, that would be great. Yeah. When you see the price tag and maybe you're over, you're underwhelmed, right here, they say it's way too expensive and usually you'll get better seats at home. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is. I like being there.

I still enjoy a live sporting event, but we can't deny that these days, sitting at home, I mean, it's beautiful. I prefer that. It is the bees knees, but I still like a, I like that energy. I don't think anything beats scene sports. I dig the vibe too. I do, but I totally under. How so?

I watch every Vikings games. Every weekend I'll watch probably at least three football games, but I don't like going to the football games. But I much like hockey and baseball, I love going to hockey and, you know, watching those live. NFL games are a bigger pain in the ass than average because there's just so many frigging people. And there's so expensive.

I can stomach 16,000 people at a hot. game or a basketball game. When you got 45, 50,000 idiots all piling into the... I can't believe I did it as often as I did, because now the thought of going to a Vikings game with 50,000 people, disgusts me. Oh, me and my husband almost got in on some season takes this here. Because of you, Nick, actually, I've gotten, and my wife and son, I guess, the three of you really love basketball. And so I've enjoyed going to Wolves games, which is something I never really did. You know, the only basketball I ever saw alive was like the Harlem Globetrot. Sweet.

And just this last couple of years because of your passion, I've been going to games, and I enjoy that. For me, purely, it's the crowd size. I mean, concerts included. Parking. If my favorite band is playing at Target Center or the X, great. If they're playing at the New Metro Dome, again, $50,000, no.

Concerts, too, for me, not quite the same. I used to want to go to everything. Is that what I just said? Oh, you did? I'm sorry. I was reading a test. For a second there, I bet it sounded kind of cool when you said it. Yeah, concerts.

Yeah, with concerts, I have to really love the band these days. to justify the cost. You got to talk to our promotions department. Yeah, that helps. Maybe we don't have tickets to the kind of music you're into. All right. Luxury letdowns. Five-star restaurants?

Never been to one. Never been let down. I take that back. I shouldn't say five. I'm not meaning to be technical. They're fancy restaurants. I went to Manny's twice. Love that stuff.

but yeah that's worth it if that's a five whatever star it is they should add a star and that's well okay i'm saying worth it and i didn't pay either time it was it was a work thing but i'd imagine paying for it is worth it here's there are some places that people are absolutely obsessed with in the cities that i don't think are worth it at all um especially because being with my husband and him working like in the meat industry i know that they just get it from like the same place that like a chained restaurant's getting their meat and crap. Some of the fancy restaurants? Yeah, and it's like, it's not worth it.

But like I'll pay extra for a steak that I know comes from like, you know, great cattle, stuff like that. Great cattle. I didn't know how else to say it. Josh, there's a couple three steakhouses, seafood joints, right, that I love. And yes, it costs an arm and a leg, but it doesn't matter. I love it that much. It's one of those things where I would go to manis again, even if it was on my dime, you know, but it would just be probably one and done.

Here's the thing, you know, we go there once or twice a year. Oh, manis? Yeah, that's... No, no, no, I'm saying these... The steakhouses that I like, the seafood joints that I like, yes, they're very expensive, but I don't care. I will spend the money because it's that damn good. But the good news is, it's not like we're going there every weekend. We go there a couple times a year.

And that helps make you love it just as much. Oh, I friggin' love it. Yeah, that waiting for it. Like, oh, is it time yet? The ones I don't understand when it comes to the fancy restaurants is I had a buddy and his wife. They paid, they were so excited. They paid like $250 to get into this exclusive restaurants. And I said, well, what could be on the menu that's so good that, you know, you're paying $300 a piece?

And he goes, well, we're not sure. It's a chef tasting menu. They change it every night. Oh, dude, I love those. So I'm like, you don't even know what you're going to get and you prepaid for it? What if you hate the food? I love those so much. That sounds silly to me.

job. That sounds ridiculous. Yeah, I want to know what I'm going to get. Yeah. I mean, I go to these steakhouses because I know what the hell I'm going to order five days before I show up. Exactly. I've been to a couple of those and I've never been let down. They're really awesome. All right. In-ground swimming pools makes the report here on luxury letdowns. One of our neighbors, they bought a house because they're from Belgium. Well, I should say they from here lived in Belgium for a long time and then came back. and their kids got really into swimming. So they bought a house with a swimming pool, but then something went wrong with it, like a crack or something,

and it was so expensive to have brief fix. They just filled it with dirt. Now they got a lawn like the rest of the... Yeah, if you're between 5 and 25, it's great to have a pool. After that, you barely use it. And like Josh said, it costs a lot of money when things go wrong, total pain in the ass. And then finally, here's a deep thought, Josh.

on a luxury letdown. You know what turned out to be a real letdown? A lot of people are saying? Fame. Fame. The constant scrutiny and pressure to make it... What? The constant scrutiny and pressure make it less appealing.

Fame. You know, maybe there's something to that. I wouldn't know. If I was filthy rich, I'd probably be cool with it. I mean, we understand to a certain... and to like a very small degree that being in the public eye can be a real real bitch.

But I think if I was filthy rich, I'd be pretty cool with it. I don't care what you say about me. So you're telling me, and people have been texting to confirm this, I can't believe it. You're telling me that if I want to go to Australia for whatever reason, I can only think of one reason why I'd want to go

to Australia. Where's that? To see Olivia Newton-John if she was still alive. God rest her soul. It's the only thing that would make me fly to us. Australia is a personal meetup with Olivia Newton, John. You're telling me if I want to go do that, it's going to cost me $15,000, $16,000. That's what people are telling me on an airplane ride.

I just learned Jordan Peresia's rich with all his world travels when he went to Australia to spend a month there or whatever he did. Although he did backpack around the country and just kind of meet strangers who he stayed at hostels with it. It's like he stayed at a nudist colony or something. Luxury is the word today. Luxurray. Now, I apologize. I said it multiple times. I know nothing about the travel industry. I've never purchased an airplane ticket in my life. I travel now and again, but I'm never the one in charge of booking a flight or paying for... So we had this conversation about luxury letdowns, little experiences that you might think of as a big deal, but then once you have that experience, you shrug your shoulders and say, eh, that wasn't really. worth it, usually because of the price.

People started telling us that flying from here to Australia is $15,000,000, 20,000. So I got a couple of texts that said, I have no idea what people are talking about with flying to Australia. If you're good with coach and a layover, you can fly there next week for $1,400 round trip. Others are sending

me information saying, economy plane ride to Australia, 750 to $1,400. So anyway. It's all over the place. Yeah, there people are saying you can't get there for under $5 grand. You know, people are sending screenshots. Yeah, I don't. It's really all over the... Here's the good news. I don't think

any of us are signing up for that anytime soon. No, I'm safe. No, they have really big spiders. That's your reason for not wanting to go? That's a good reason. Yeah, 100% good. Josh has no problem with that reasoning. The bugs and the animals they got over there are sketchy. All right, more luxury letdowns, and then I got something

fresh for you. People are saying snowmobiles and jet skis are a luxury letdown. Owning a side-by-side, says this listener. Cleaning it sucks. Working on it sucks. I always wanted one. Now, I disagree with this. I've heard different on this.

High-priced call girl. Oh. I would think that they'd be worth it. A dude says it's the same as the gal I picked up on Lake Street. I've heard different. I heard that you really do get what you pay for in the call girl. I'd fall for it. Yeah.

Josh is falling for it currently. All right, before we go, before we go, luxury again is the word. these are things these are things people didn't realize were luxury until they had it so this is kind of the opposite of what we're saying you got this product or you had this experience and I mean

didn't seem like it was going to be making that much of a difference in your life but by God it did before I read this list I just want to go on record to say I knew before I had all of these different experiences and different things. I knew they were a luxury item. It didn't dawn on me. I knew this stuff was luxury,

and I wanted it long before I was lucky enough to get my hands on it. I agree. I looked over the list, and all these things and more I just assumed were for the very wealthy when I was growing up. So I don't really understand. People were like surprised, like, oh, this is really nice. I mean, I knew these things were wonderful way before I got my hands on them, like an attached garage.

Now, I've got to go on record right away to say, Attached garages are nice, but I actually do prefer a detached garage because it gives you somewhere else to hang out. But anyway. I want a detached garage after having an attached garage like my whole entire life. These are things that some people didn't realize they were luxury until they had it. A second bathroom or a bathroom in your bedroom. Oh, my gosh, dude. I don't know how I grew up with one bathroom.

A garage fridge is wonderful, of course. Always wanted one. A remote start on your motor vehicle. I love the remote start. I don't give a rat's ass what temperature it is. I will let my vehicle run for 40 to 45 minutes for no other reason than I can. Mine never works. I hate my life.

A king-sized bed. Ooh, do I love my king-sized bed? We just got one and I did feel a little guilty purchasing it. But, you know, we got big dogs and then, which my wife wants in there with us. Get the dogs off the friggin bed. Tell her. A dish washer, you know, like one that you plug into the wall, you know, a regular, a real electric dish. See, I went the opposite on that.

I always had a dishwasher until my current house. I didn't realize how good I had it when you had the dishwasher. They do nothing for me because I'm a freak, and so I scrub and clean all the dishes before I even put them in there. So, what's the point? That makes zero sense. So washer and dryer inside your house, you don't got to go to the laundromat? Yep.

Or go down to the basement of your sketchy apartment you live in. Yeah. Right, right. I remember that whole scene. I stole a lot of panties out of that room. I'll tell you that. They say, what? These are things that somehow people didn't realize they were a luxury until they had it.

Like Josh and I were saying, hell, I knew these things were special long before. Yeah, to me, these were all rich people things. Air conditioning, a heated steering wheel. Okay, that may miss. Oh, I miss that so much. That's a nice thing. I guess I don't really need a heating steering wheel. I have one and I've never used it.

I've never really felt the need. Oh, really? They're so nice. That's why. Yeah, you're right. Good point. I would kill for that to have a car. Like when I used to do it in my car and then my husband's truck still has it now, it does it when you just start your car, like remote start your car.

So then when you, oh, and then it's cold out and you put your hands on the nice, toasty stuff. I don't think I need a heated steer. A fenced-in backyard when you have a dog. That'd be cool. That'd be really cool. A garbage disposal. Definitely. Don't have one.

That's a rich person's game. We have one. My wife wants it gone. Why? I've heard plumbers hate them. Really? Plumbers hate them. A lot of people hate them because they stink and you've got to fix them. Whatever. I like the garbage disposal, but I'm fine with it.

Police car building Jesus has heat and AC in his garage and said it's a game changer. That's good. That's good. It's good. It's good. You got a pool table in there? Enough. And finally, here, these are things people didn't realize were luxury until they had it. Oh, enough driveway space that nobody has to move their car so someone someone. else can leave. Yeah. Not that.

That's cool. Plummer has checked in. As a plumber, get rid of the disposal. Yeah. Cool. I won't get one. I screwed up a garbage disposal real good one time. I never had one growing up.

Didn't have any of my college apartments finally moved into a place. It was like 24, 25 that had one. And I just thought, oh, you can put garbage in it and it disposes it. So I had some leftover jumbaya that had gone bad. I'm like, well, it's freezing out. I don't want to go all the way out to the trash. can, I can just dispose of it in this disposal, in this garbage disposal. Yeah, that makes sense.

And it was about two or three pounds of the stuff. Oh. And I'm just jamming it all down. And then all of a sudden, the black water starts bubbling up. It's like 11 o'clock on a Saturday night. I had to call the emergency plumber to come over. That's a lot of jambalaya. You got to be reasonable, Dana.

You have a trash can. Why do you have two to three pounds of jumbull? And that was left over, he said. It was a bit, I don't know exactly how much, but I made a big crock pot full of it, you know. So much. And my wife at the. the time. She'd already gone to bed and she did the Abe Simpson thing, you know, or she

hears commotion from the kitchen. She comes in, the guy's got the rotor-ruder thing going, and she just walks into the kitchen, just turns around and walks out. It was like, you cause this problem, you deal with it. Insomniac Jesus said plumbers actually love garbage disposal. It keeps them in business.

Oh, the amount of money I had to spend for that late night garbage disposal, Jumbolea disaster. Yeah, I think I paid that guy's mortgage that month. You got to know what you're doing. One of my gal friends, I mean, just bizarre line of thinking here, had a house party, had various bowls of Doritos and Cheetos and potato chips and the whole smear. So she had, I mean, a big old fat party bowl full of Cheetos. Didn't want them anymore.

Why in God's name she didn't pour them into the trash? I have no idea. She pours them into the garbage disposal. Hits the water, right? in the end she made this rock hard orange plumbing line dildo that's so great I mean we're talking about one of them family two family size bags

of she pours them it turns on the one flips the switch on the garbage I would have probably started adding other stuff and like hopefully it would like dislodge like putting some olive oil in there butter I don't know to loosen it up a little bit That stuff is like joint compound, Cubby. When you add water, it was like the biggest orange dildo you've ever seen. Did somebody have to come and like figure, yeah?

Yeah, the plumber. Was he like, what the heck, dude? Yeah, I don't know if she had a talking to, but there you do. Somebody might have said to. Cubby, shout out to Braxton, who just turned nine from mom. Can't decide on a Jesus name, Sheezis. X radio intern Jesus hit up the Luther Kia Bloomington text line with a birthday shout out to his mother-in-law turning 70, cancer survivor and Iron Man finisher in that order,

he says. Happy birthday to genitals, turning 34 from, I'll give you eight inches, but it'll take a few strokes, Jesus. And happy 17th to the zest of Zimmerman, the prevailing Princeton Pimp, the most magnificent man, Madden, from Dad, Father of Seven Jesus. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off.

That's why I trust standard heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time. Get $75 off your first service or tune-up. And while you're at it, mention 93X. Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930.