93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Ozzy Day

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

Originally Aired July 22, 2026: Don't you look at me! There's a man on top of the train, and he's naked. Everything you wanna know about flooding your apartment by stripping.  Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Ashley has returned. Hey. Hey. But we need to know, Smash. Did you catch super diarrhea? I think so. No. I think it would have been a lot worse from what I'm hearing. How would you define it? Maybe like a touch of food poisoning or something. That's what I was thinking or just a random

stomach bug. No, gross. Yeah, we ran out of toilet paper at the house. Oh, no. One or both ends? Mostly the... Right. The shoot? The bottom end, but a little bit of the top. A little bit of the top. That is disgusting.

I feel for you. Well, now she can't stop coughing. Yeah, it was rough, especially yesterday. My son got his port out of his chest that he never needed because he never ended up needing chemo. Which is awesome. And so I had to like get it together, you know, because he has to be slightly put under for that type of procedure. And then when they wake up, all he wants is mom. He wants to be held by mom, cuddled by mom nonstop.

It's tough to cuddle him on the toilet, isn't it? Yeah, or like when you're sweating because your stomach's churning. But I made it through. And he's too young to understand when you say, I've got diarrhea. Like, dude, stuff's happening. Did you have to bring him in and out of the John? Oh, yeah. Did you really?

Oh, no. You know, mom used to take you into the bathroom when she pooped, you know. Thank God little kids don't remember those things, huh Josh? Thank God. So you're all right? Yeah, I'm all right. Good. It was just regular food poisoning, not the super diarrhea strain.

that's uh did it mean it seemed like it came out of nowhere all of a sudden monday around 730 or so you text me and you said i am having some serious trouble i'm embarrassed i can't get off the toilet i think i got to go home it was so embarrassing to send you that i i went to go pump and as i was walking to the room that i go and pumping i was like uh-oh something don't feel good in my tummy what the hell is that down there we've all been there and then i never and then i never got to pump because I was like, oh, there's definitely not going to be any more time left for that. Does that mean your husband has to pump? Yes.

If you can't pump, it's on him, isn't it? That's terrible and disgusting, but we've all been there. We knew it was serious, actually, when you noticed that you left for your computer here in the studio. You went home without your computer. You raced out of you. I was like, man, I can't. Well, I told Josh, I said, I'm afraid if I stay here any longer, I will never leave. This is not.

This doesn't kind of get better. Well, I'm glad you're feeling better. That's a horrible feeling, especially when you've got stuff you have to do. Yeah. But you know what they say about that super diarrhea, right, Josh? We covered this. It has been known to lay dormant for a few days and then return. Yeah.

Oh, no, I forgot about that part. There's like phases. It'll come back to attack. You could have a hell of a weekend ahead of you. No. Please, no. I've already lost like five pounds. Well, but that's great, right?

That's how we started talking about it. I do feel super skinny. There are some people were hoping they got it just to lose a couple of pounds. Did you see that right there, Josh? She put her hands on her hips like this, and she said, I do feel super skinny. You're a skinny queen, is what you are. It was very sassy what you just did with your body language. Yeah, you're right.

We discussed that. There are some lunatics out there who are trying to catch super diarrhea on purpose so they can drop a few pounds and then go to Muscle Beach and show everyone what they're working with. Well, there you go. Smash is back. Noddy insurance agent Jesus asked if we looked at your search history on your computer. No, nobody touched your computer.

Oh, missed opportunity. Never even thought about it. No. No, it's all safe stuff on here. Probably a lot of germs on there. Ash is smart enough to use incognito windows. Oh, like a privacy mode of some sort? Actually, dude, that's been like slightly getting me in trouble lately because I don't know if like the way the iPhone updated or if my fingers just got fatter or something.

But I accidentally enter that mode like all the time on my phone. And my husband will like look something up in front of them. We're trying to figure out something. And he's like, why are you in incognito mode? Oh, he's suspicious, eh? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know how I got in it. I don't really know how to get out of it.

Oh, we've got text messages coming in. You know who else has diarrhea? Who's that? Hot cocoa shezes? Oh, no. Is there some kind of female-only strain of the diarrhea that's... Did it maybe start on the boat? Did we have another patient zero on the boat?

Did you make out with hot cocoa sheezes on the... I don't think so. Good luck, ladies. It sounds like it's just picking on you right now. Well, Mexican rice runner Jesus said it went through his whole family. Everybody got it. Everybody's getting it. I suppose we're next, huh, Cubby?

I hope not. We're next. Maybe. Oh, here we go. So what did I say it was? Wednesday? You know, a listener texted in on Monday and reminded us that it's Ozzie Week. It was this week a year ago that we lost Ozzy Osbourne.

I can't believe it's been a year already. And then a different listener texted in when we had that conversation about Ozzie's passing one year ago, a different listener taxed in to remind us that it's also Hulk Hogan Week. A week ago this year we lost the Hulkster. That's all accurate, right? We covered that. Yeah, we figured that down. Yeah.

Hulk Hogan on Friday, I think. When's the 24th? Is that Friday? I just watched, was it Netflix or something? My wife was watching something on Hulk Hogan, something new, because it mentioned his passing in it. And just the other day, and it was pretty good to watch. That one got me a little bit, too.

You know, sometimes when you watch, like Ozzie, my whole life, I loved Ozzie. I knew that the Hulkster, I kind of forgot how much as a kid I thought he was so awesome. You know, I wanted to say my prayers and take my vitamins. I wanted those giant pythons. You did. I thought he was great. He's just all American, you know. He was just so cool.

And I forgot how much he meant to me. You know, we had the Hulkster in studio. Oh, God, I don't know, Josh. Could you wager a guess four or five months before he died? It was pretty quick. Pretty quickly. I can find that out. Maybe less time passed between his studio visit here.

It was about a year, it looks like. Oh, was it? Yeah, so June 18th, 2024. Okay. So then he passed, you know, July 24th, 2025. So it was almost a year. At any rate, that was a really pleasant experience, a wonderful experience having Hulk in studio.

He was on, and what I mean by that is, you know, he jumped into that Hulkster character. And you know what I'm talking about. Brother, he did the whole. and he just it was a fun segment but more than anything you could tell by the look on his face

he really appreciated his fans' love for him when we talked about Hulkomania and you know 50 years in the wrestling industry and all of the unbelievable achievements that he had made in his career

you can tell by the look in his eyes Josh I think you'll agree with me that it had really set in what it all meant and the impact that he had on his fans and his appreciation for them. Definitely. You know, my wife has, she's never said I'd like to come in. Well, I take that back.

When wrestlers show up, she wants to go and bring my youngest, especially when he was super into it. I remember here. I remember her showing up, my damn, showing up very excited years ago when we got to meet the new day. Yep, she came in here. Those are the pancake dude? She wanted some pancake power.

The pancake dude was here, sure. It was my son's favorite at that time, and then she was in here with Hulk Hogan. You know, she grew up a giant wrestling fan, and that was one of the highlights of her life being able to be in the same room with them and say hello to him. And he was so, like you said, so appreciative of the folks here that stopped by. I mean, there's people we don't see in the building very often that came down to get something signed. Well, there were people in the parking lot that were out there just because they knew Hulk Hogan was going to be here. Yeah, I didn't see that, but I heard that. Yeah, yeah.

So it was really cool. So I got, I had to go let him in, and the parking lot was swarmed with fans, with belts and things to sign. And he said, hey, I'm running late. But when I'm done with this interview, I'll come out. I'll sign anything. I'll take any picture. And then when we walked him out, he did.

He sat stood there in the parking lot, signed everything, hung out with everybody. And you could tell, like Nick, you were saying, he was very gracious and very appreciative of all the support and the love that he was getting. And if you watch this most recent documentary, that's obvious, too. Like how he feels about his fans. he mentions it and you see him interacting with his fans. Here's a question. Did any of his try any of Hulk Hogan's beer yet?

No. He brought in, that's why he was promoting his Real American beer. Did he leave some here? If he did, somebody grabbed it. I thought I did crack one open. I don't remember where I was. Anyway, yeah, he was here pushing his Real American beer. I believe I did have a swig, and it was pretty good.

anyway, with it being Ozzie Week and Hogan Week, maybe we can talk to some people. Maybe Friday we can play some Aussie, you know, maybe have another day musically dedicated to Ozzy to wrap up Ozzy week. Maybe we can sprinkle in some highlights of Hogan's career on Friday's show or something to commemorate Ozzy and Hogan's past. passing, but just for now, just to celebrate their lives on the one-year anniversary of their passing, do you want to F around and try this out with me? I've got something here I'm calling Hogan or Ozzy.

Yes, I thought long and hard about the title. It's called Hogan or Ozzy. I'm going to read you a fact. You tell me if that little tidbit was something from the life of Hulk Hogan or Ozzy Osbourne. Whoever thinks they know the answer, go ahead and answer. I'll put together something here just called Hogan or Ozzie. Some facts. All right, how about this one?

Because my God, both of them were in their particular industry for 50, 55 years, something like that. I mean, both of them, absolute all-timers in their field. How about this? Did a brief stint in prison for burglary at the age of 17? Well, that sounds like Ozzy Osbourne to me. If I remember the story correctly, he broke into a house or two, stole something or another. He didn't have the money. I think they gave him the option to pay a fine.

I think that was the story, that Ozzy had the option as a 17-year-old kid to pay a fine and he could go home. He didn't have the money. of course. That's why he was breaking into home. Sure. The cops called his dad and said, Mr. Osborne, Jack was his name. If you can pay the fine, your son can come home, and Jack Osborne, Ozzie's dad said, F that, put him in prison. So he spent two days in prison for burglary.

You're correct, Josh. That was an Ozzy fact. Snorted a line of ants on a popsicle stick during a drinking contest. Ozzy again. Yes. That's a notorious Ozzy Osbourne. Do you know that story, Ashley? No, I don't.

When Ozzy and Motley Crew were touring together, I think, in 1983. So Ozzy was on the Bark at the Moon tour, and Motley Crew was on their shout at the devil tour, and it was the most lawless, disgusting rock tour up to date. Both Ozzie and the guys from Motley Crew were just repulsive, alcoholic drug addicts, and there's plenty of stories that came from that tour. One of them was, I think they were drinking all day long,

pool side at a hotel and they were having a gross out contest and like Tommy Lee drank a bucket of Ozzie's spit and Ozzy licked Vince Neal's armpit. It was just just a horrible childish grossout contest and at one point I think Nikki Six from Motley Cruz saw a popsicle stick sitting in the middle of nowhere like by the pool and it was covered in ants and they dared Ozzie to snort the ants off the popsicle stick and he went ahead and did it. Did you guys see the dirt, Dana or Ashley? They had that scene in the dirt. That's got to be so...

The Motley crew movie. Oh, that, like, thought of that in my... Oh, no. All right. Hogan or Ozzy. He had three older sisters named Gene, Iris, and Jillian, and two younger brothers named Paul and Tony.

Is that Hulk or Ozzy? Hulk. That's Ozzy. Ah, dang it. I was going to guess that, but I thought there's no way he'll go three Ozies in a row. Big family. Yeah.

I knew he had a lot. had a big family. I'd never heard their names before. Yeah. Gene, Iris, and Jilly. And I thought that might give it away because those sound kind of English. Jilly. And two younger brothers, Paul and Tony. I wonder how many of them are still around. Big family. Okay. We're playing Hogan or Ozzie. He endorsed a blender known as the Thunder mixer. That was Hulk. Okay, that's right. The notorious story behind that is he, Him and, oh God, why am I playing around the name? The guy that had the oven, the George Foreman.

Him and George Foreman had the same agent, and he left him both a voicemail and said, hey, I got two endorsement opportunities. One is for the grill, the George Foreman grill, and then one is for a blunder. Call me back, let me know which one you want. George called him back first and took the grill, and he ended up making more money on that than he ever made in boxing. And Hogan got the blender, which obviously. Obviously, nobody knows about because it went nowhere. I had two George Foreman Grill.

Oh, that's all I ate in college into my 20s. Yeah, me too. For Christmas one year, I got two different versions for sure. Yeah, they were great. I hated it. I thought it was garbage. Oh, really? I liked it. Yeah. I got a George Foreman grill. I cooked one meal.

I thought it was garbage, and I never touched it again. But anyway, when reading some things yesterday to prepare for this in-depth conversation on Hogan and Oz. Osborne. I read that, you know, Hogan liked to tell some stories. Hogan claimed that, like you were just explaining, he was one telephone call away from the George Foreman Grill becoming the Hulk Hogan Grill. He claimed that. A number of members, a number of the members of George Foreman's family say he was never in line for that frigging thing. Oh, so it's like Metallica? Yes. Okay. They say none of that ever happened. Hogan never had any opportunity for the for him. Anyway, he liked to tell stories. He did. The Thunder mixer, yes, was endorsed by

Hulk Hogan and it didn't go well. They all had to be recalled as a fire hazard. That's not good. That's funny. And your frigging names on it. It's burning kitchens down all over. Dropped out of school, Hogan or Ozzy, dropped out of school at the age of 15 and went to work as a construction site laborer. That was Ozzy. You're right, coming. You would have thought maybe that would have been a Hogan thing. I mean, a construction site. Hogan could have had, you know, beams on his shoulders. No, Ozzy tried his hands as a construction laborer.

He also tried his hand as a plumber, a toolmaker, and a car factory horn tuner. He would tune up the horns on your motor vehicle. Oh, we also worked at a slaughterhouse. That was Ozzie. In 20 and 19, Hogan or Ozzy, in 20 and 19, it was announced that Chris Hemsworth would portray him in a biopic.

That's how to... Yeah, he'd be a weird choice for Ozzy Osbourne. Yeah, cool idea, right? But apparently, and maybe it'll happen someday. But by 20 and 24, the plans for that movie had been... thrown into the garbage. So there was a plan in place for Chris Hemsworth to play Hogan in a biopic. Has there been a Hogan biopic yet?

No. Okay. Maybe there's one we've never heard. Let's see. I don't know if there's been a... I'd imagine they'll make one. Oh, yeah. There's one called Untitled Hulk Hogan biopic.

I wonder if that's the Chris Hemsworth. Hmm. Could be. Yeah, it says here it's delayed. Oh, well, the information I have is it got thrown in the garbage, but maybe it It's not that dramatic, and they're just waiting for the right time or the right amount of money or whatever the case may be. I don't know the business. And it's Todd Phillips is said to be the director.

Should I know him? Hangover, Joker. Oh. All the hangover. Road trip. He's behind those. All right. Try this one, you guys.

Try this one. The game is Hogan or Ozzy. We're celebrating their legacy. Both of them passed away. a year ago this week. Try this one, Josh. He had six children, three from his first marriage,

and three from his marriage to Sharon Osborne. Which would that be? I'm going to let with the other guy's answer. This one, I'm stumped. Did you, I remember the first, was it the Osbournes or where was it where they showed his very hobbit-looking early, or first two kids,

who barely knew him? It must have been on the Osbournes because, you, I mean, you knew Kelly and Jack. you knew Anne, was it, Amy? Yes. A little bit. I mean, she didn't want to be much of a part of the Osbournes, you know, the older one. Yeah.

And so everybody knows his kids and all of a sudden it's like, wait, he's got two other kids that he completely ignored. He did. There was, it might have been the Osbournes or a documentary where he kind of meets with them. And they're like in this shack, basically, compared to the mansions you're used to seeing Ozian. And there was obviously some hard feelings. Oh, very hard feelings. he had three children with Sharon, Amy, Jack, and Kelly. There were three others before all of that.

You know, Ozzy got married very young when he was still in Black Sabbath, had two children with that woman. One of them's name is Lewis, the other one. It doesn't matter. But he had two children with his first wife and then adopted another child. And you're right. I think it was a documentary, Josh, where two or maybe all of those first three children who are now 53 years old, whatever they are,

they were all interviewed and they said it took them almost their entire lives to stop hating him. They didn't even know him. He was just a derelict father. He never showed up. He never did. Teemed up with a little known rock band called Green Jelly. Josh might remember Green Jelly. Ozzie or Hogan.

He teamed up with a little known punk rock band called Green Jelly. jelly in 19 and 93, they performed a cover version of an old Gary Glitter song called I'm the leader of the gang. Was that Hogan or Ozzy? Wasn't that Hogan? That was Hulk Hogan. Did a song with Green Jelly. Maybe that's something we can play on Friday. Even green jelly would be surprised. Do you remember what their original name was? Go ahead. It was green jello. But Kraft came after. Was it Kraft? Yeah, Kraft Foods came after and was like, you can't call it. at that. Right. That's our thing. So they went

with green jelly. They had that one horrible gimmicky hit. A little pig little pigs. Right, the three little pigs. It was just terrible. But you know, Hogan... On Headbanger's Ball, though. Oh, God, yeah, they played the piss out of it. Hogan

did have a, you know, he was a musician when he was young and one of my favorite memes. I think I just sent it to you is when he's playing his guitar in front of the American flag. I love that meme. Right.

Part of his I Am a Real American. You know, Hogan was a musician to a certain extent. Okay. More facts here. You tell me if it was Hogan or Ozzy. Mountain. The band Mountain. Leslie West.

Yeah, very talented. Leslie West introduced him to cocaine. Was that Hogan or Ozzy? I'm going to say Ozzy. Black Sabbath was touring with Mountain in the early 70s. and Leslie West denies this, but Hogan says, sorry, I would too. Leslie West denies it. He's like, come on, don't put that on me. Yeah, don't tell people that I get other people hooked on Coke.

He was the first one to push a line of blow in front of Ozzie. And I think Ozzy said, like the first time he did it, his, he just brain turned to mush, and he didn't know what the hell. I heard Leslie West, I think he was friends with Howard Stern, or he was on the show a couple times, and I heard him talk to Howard Stern about that rumor. Howard asked him. Oh, come on, man.

Don't put that on me. Look at the way the guy turned out. You can put that on me? All right. Ozzie or Hogan. It took him 19 tries to get his driver's license. Holgan. It sounds like Ozzy.

I thought that was Ozzie that said that once. It is Ozzy Osbourne He couldn't quite get a handle on it And they said basically because he was showing up drunk or high Oh That'll do it He kind of seems like the type of guy that shouldn't be driving Even when sober

Just doesn't... Yeah he doesn't look like the type to do Like just looking at him No you know like a little too distracted maybe Hand-eye coordination Judging distance and speed Does that when you look at Ozzy Whether it be 1973 or 2000 and 23

he didn't look quite capable of that. Okay. Yes? Local 34 Jesus said, Had sex with his daughter's best friend in her 20s while he was 70. Hulk or Ozzy? Oh, man. You can slow that down one more time.

Had sex with his daughter's best friend in her 20s while he was 70. Hulk or Ozzy. Oh, really? That was Hulk. Yeah, that was the Hulkster. Alleged, I guess, did that really happen? It did. Oh, my damn.

That's nasty. And his ex-wife, Linda, at the time, was sleeping. with his son's best friend. Nick's best friend? What in the world? Grouch. They were a very sexually liberated family. They really were.

I guess so. I'd heard that rumor. I didn't know if that was true. Yeah, it came out in the documentary. So much of that stuff, you know, with Hulk, it's pretty wild. The whole thing with Bubba the Love Spunge and his wife. Not so much vitamins and prayers, was it? No, he was horned up. All right.

Hogan or Ozzy. Now we're perfect that we're talking about sex action. Hogan or Ozzy. He claimed that both Cher and Madonna wanted to have sex with him on separate occasions, but he turned them down. Hulk Hogan. That's another one of those stories where everyone says, yeah, that never happened. Never happened. Who says no to that?

Nobody. Even today, I wouldn't say no. You didn't watch the Roll Cup halftime show, did you? With Madonna? Yeah. Oh, I know what she looks like now. Okay. But I'd be fantasizing about 1980s, Madonna.

It's Madonna. Yeah. Yeah, you don't turn Madonna down. In Japan, his fans called him Ichibon, which means number one. Was that Hogan or Ozzy? Hogan. That's right. Although he didn't, I don't think he made too many appearances.

Too many appearances. I don't think he made too many appearances in Japan. But yet, the fans loved him. He had a television. television is how you say it. He had a television commercial in 2006 that ran for a while where he endorsed, I can't believe it's not butter. Ozzie or Hogan? Ozzy, just because that'd be funny. That was, it was Ozzy. I can't believe it, man. We used to get that.

Did you? My mom would buy I can't believe it's not butter. Oh, my mom thought that was like a sin. She hated that stuff. Whenever we went to like other people's houses and they had it on the car ride home she'd be like look at that's not even real butter oh really yeah like what's your deal okay let's see let's wrap this up i got one more for you all right he defeated brutus beefcake and gregg valentine at russalmania two ossey osborne has to be osborne is correct now this is really where their path crossed, although again, I mean, they were the top of their field, their entire careers. They were the, there's probably no greater wrestler than Hulk Hogan, no greater rocker than Ozzy

Osbourne, but this is where they directly crossed paths in 1986 at WrestleMania 2. The British Bulldogs, with Ozzy Osbourne in their corner, defeated Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine at WrestleMania 2. Hogan also appeared at the event, of course. Hogan defeated King Kong Bundy in a cage match, which is the type of match where Josh remains undefeated. Yeah, never had one loss. Never been beaten in a cage.

I don't like to brag. Yeah. We bring it more often than you do. I know. Again, maybe to commemorate Ozzy and Hogan Week, again, maybe tomorrow, Friday, maybe we can do something special with the music or play some highlights. I appreciate our listeners.

reminding us of this, I would have completely blown through this week without remembering that it was one year ago. So there you go. You guys are good. What's going on today? Anything?

Not a really. I'd imagine we could probably play Ozzie today if we wanted to. We got a pretty cool boss. Sure. We'll have to think about what to play during commercials. Yeah, you make that friggin' call. I like your style.

I know you know. the man's tunes. Well, I'm probably going to go obvious and... Let's get her. Bark at the moon. That gets me pretty pumped up. At least he didn't say crazy train. We play that one enough.

Or Iron Man. I love that one. Iron Man. We'll be back here shortly. What are we going to do next? The stupid news, we'll return here in a few minutes. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust standard heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time.

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Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. Yeah, we did it again. And now that we started, we're going to have a hard time stopping. That's how Covey and I are wired to commemorate the passing. of Ozzy Osbourne. A year ago this week, we played what we truly believe is the perfect heavy metal song, Bark at the Moon. And now, I'm telling you, it's going to take 10 men to get us to stop talking about it. That's the way it plays itself out every time. We were talking about

a little off air, and I've seen so many guitar players say of Jakey Lee's, his riff, his solo, everything, the arrangement, everything he put together in that song, that it's one of those when you cover it, you just don't change it. You don't put your spin on it, no matter how talented a guitar, play. But they F with it, don't they, Josh? Not many. The only, the one I see, and I hate to say anything somewhat negative about him, because Zach Wilde's one of my all-time favorite guitar players, I've heard people criticize that he puts too many pinch harmonics in the song, and that it's just it's so perfect you don't need to change the recipe. He does. He loves the pinch harmonic. And he's the best at it. The little, woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. I mean, I...

Can you play an example of a pinch harmonic? I'd like look one up? Yeah. Let's see. I wonder if there's a compilation. I'm going to look that at compilation. But you're right. So, yeah, I mean, he tweaks it. He puts the Zach touch on it. Which you understand. Which we get. He's a guitar hero.

Zach is unbelievable. But there are full-on, four-alarm guitar legends who say, Stop messing with that riff. It's perfect. And the lyrics of the song, Bark at the Moon. It's just so evil. Oh, I just love it. I know you're not a lyrics guy.

I know he says bark at the moon a lot. That part you've got down. Yeah. But, I mean, the lyrics are just so, it's just so heavy metal. Years spent in torment, buried in a nameless grave. Now he has risen. Miracles would have to save. Those that the beast is looking for, listen in awe, Ashley.

And you'll hear him. Bark at the moon. That's the part Josh has down. Bark at the moon. He loves that. I don't know if there's ever been anybody better at it. He's perfected it. It's like Kirk Hammett and the, uh, the, uh, the pedal, the, uh, the, the, uh, the pedal, the wah pedal.

Zach has his pinch harmonics. Kirk Hammett gets made fun of a lot for that wah pedal. Howling in shadows living in a lunar spell. He finds his heaven spewing from the mouth of hell. God, I love heavy metal. You pick him up, you dropped them, Jesus said it kind of sounds like a Bible verse. I agree. A lot of times some of those heavy metal.

songs are very like Iron Maiden, it sounds like you're reading The Odyssey. You know, if you're listening to some of these like Ozzy evil songs, it does sound like Bible stuff. And, you know, again, we're going to be done dorking out over Bark at the Moon any minute now. We will, I promise. But speaking of the lyrics, you know, there's always been conversation when it comes to Ozzy. Who really wrote his songs? Because he was so blasted on drugs and alcohol. a lot of the times when he was recording these records.

You know, so you mentioned Jake E. Lee. Got to give him credit. Got to give a guy by the name of Bob Daisley who was playing bass back then for Ozzy. You got to give that guy credit also because apparently it was more or less all three of them who wrote the song. So just so you know. What are we going to play next? That's the question because we're kind of celebrating Ozzy's life again now a year later. That'll be the question.

What should we play next? We'll come up with something. I want to play something off of no rest for the weekend. I know that's your favorite record. Yeah, that's the... Favorite Ozzie record. Definitely. And it's probably one of my all-time favorite records.

I'm going to say that's the one that got me into heavy metal. And that's really when I got into it. So if somebody has a... There's so many good tracks on that album. If somebody has some suggestions, send it in. I kind of want to do something obvious, like Miracle Man, first track on the album, first time I heard Zach Wilde. Sure.

Blown away by the riff. It's one of those that people say, you know, on the Aussie list for various guitar players, that's one you should know. Someone requested Perry Mason. We're not going to play Perry Mason. That one was a little odd. We don't like that one. All right. Here we go, Miracle Man.

Okay. We got a couple on that. I don't know. Devil's daughter, Fire in the Sky. Those are some other ones we were talking about. I don't exactly know when we're going to get around to our next song, but we'll make it Ozzy Osbourne again. Oh, Mr. Tinker Train. to, I hate Mr. Tinker train.

It's not a bad. We'll play some more Ozzy again. It's been a year now since the poor guy passed away. On to the stupid news. We'll get headed in that direction. Fentanyl, Josh. That's scary stuff. It scares me.

Here we go again. Fentanyl this, fentanyl that. The stuff that they give you at the doctor's pretty good, though. What are we talking about? Whatever, I don't know, like the difference in between. whatever they got on the street and stuff they give you in the doctor at the doctor. There is a style of fentanyl that your doctor will give to you? Yeah, it's like a pain medication.

Correct. I had no idea. Yeah, my son just got some yesterday, actually. What? Seriously, they give babies fentanyl? Yeah, they give a little touch of fentanyl. Well, now, is there some kind of a screening process? I don't know.

What do you mean? Exactly. Good question, because I'm not sure what I mean. If fentanyl is so dangerous, it's very dangerous, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, on the street. Before they hand that to you or your husband in order to give to their baby, do they ask you any questions?

Well, it was, they just did it through the IV. I don't think you can just get, like, pills of it. I was picturing a bucket of pills that you brought home with you. I don't believe that you can get that. Maybe you can. I'm sure we have plenty of medical. healthcare workers in the listening audience, they could probably answer that question.

But you're saying your son got like a dose of it interveniously. Yeah. Is he cooler now? Like does he have a leather jacket? Dude, is he swearing? Is he writing grunge music in his spare time? It's getting weird.

That stuff freaks me out. I don't know if it says, I mean, it seems like it's an epidemic, right? You hear that. I don't know what's legit, what's not legit,

but that stuff freaks me out. And isn't kind of the concern that they're putting it in, Other drugs? Yeah, cocaine and stuff like that, laced with fentanyl. And the thing is, I mean, you can, there's test strips so you can test your drugs for fentanyl. But who's to say, you know, okay, so there's no fentanyl in the spot that you tested, but maybe there is in the last little tiny bit at the end of the bag there.

You know, it's not really, I guess, as beneficial as it seems to be. I don't know Dick about drugs. I didn't know that fentanyl was a legitimate drug that, you know, now has been turned into, I didn't know that. Yeah, I've gotten it a couple times, but it's actually on my chart to do, like, not that because it makes me feel like I am, you ever, do you guys ever gotten a drug through your IV makes you feel like insane? No.

That's one of those ones. It makes me feel like, like, I'm crawling out of my skin. Like, I get super anxious and weird right away. We're still talking about fentanyl? Yeah. So I'm not allowed to get that through the IV at the doctor. No, the highest I've ever been was when I had to. my lung operation when I was a 14-year-old kid. I had a lung collapse on me. Oh, did they give you

dilated? I don't know what they gave me. That's good stuff. I thought it was morphine, but this is a long time ago, long time ago. And I was, you know, in a lot of pain and I was just a kid. But they got me high on morphine. I believe that's what it was. That's the most out of my mind I've ever been where I I don't remember what I was saying to other people but I was like threatening people

who walked in and out of my hospital room I was a 14 year old kid laying there threatening to kill people People are saying you get that in an epidural Or a colonoscopy I don't know what they gave me in a colonoscopy Yeah you get in an epidural Oh so maybe I have been on fentanyl

Former cop Jesus said The fentanyl like a doctor screened Street fentanyl's very different many other drugs. The doctor's office microdoses it. I'm going to look up what the actual differences are. There you go. It's always been curious.

Between what? Like street fentanyl and doctor fentanyl. Like if it's like the same components and all that, that interests me. I guess in the dosage. You think that's the only difference, yeah? Well, people are saying it's cut different. Interesting. How in the hell do so many of our listeners are all-knowing brilliant people,

clever people, funny people. I think just yesterday we were talking about how humbled we are at times when reading through the text messages that are sent to this radio show because we're so impressed by the knowledge of a lot of our... And I get jealous of jokes every day. I wish I could be clever enough to come up with something. How do they know so much about fentanyl? Are these doctors?

I don't know. I mean, I read stories where it sounds like it's not good, but then some people will say, no, no, no, that's overblown. Yeah, but then again, consider the source. I know nothing about drugs. I've never taken an interest in drugs in any way, shape, or form. Okay, let's get going with this, though. Keep on sending in your information.

It's interesting. I don't know how the hell you know so much. I mean, aren't most of the overdoses nowadays fentanyl? Maybe somebody can clear that up. It seems like it. That's why we got an arcane everywhere? No clue. I can't even begin to understand why you'd want to take this recreationally.

But some folks will tell you there's nothing fun. minor, then fentanyl and a vagina. What I have here for you is a gal who is Josh. She is very willing to use all of her inputs, if need be, in order to try and keep that fentanyl out of sight from law enforcement. Well, that's pretty cool. My mom was a little different, but my mom was a purse holder at Valley Fair. She'd hold all your stuff, so she was willing to kind of be the pack mule for various items.

different than this lady. A little bit different from this lady. But I understand the concept of, hey, if I got some drugs, I'm going to jump on the corkscrew. I'm going to hand it to this lady's vagina. This is a 26-year-old gal called Yonashy. Sorry, that's my best guess, Yonashy.

She got herself arrested for drug trafficking when the police pulled her out of a motor vehicle. And then when they got her back to the jailhouse, Oh my damn. They found that she had fentanyl everywhere's. She, what's it say now? She had fentanyl stashed in her can. She had fentanyl stashed in her front can.

And she even had fentanyls tucked under and in between her little boobies. Wow. A little bit everywhere. I don't know, Josh, if you still want to compare that to your mother. No, I wasn't compared. her purse at Valley Fair or whatever. No, no, no. I think you missed the concept. But my mom, sure, if you got something, she'll hold on to it for you.

She's not going to put it in an orifice as far as I know. The cop said this was a frigging gong show. Had it in her butt, had it in her front butt, and even had some of it tucked under and in between her bubs. Apparently, even before they got inside the jailhouse, yawning she, again, sorry. even before they got her inside the jailhouse, when Yonashie was being walked from the back of the squad car to the front door of the jail,

a bag of fentanyl fell out of nowhere's, and Yonashy had to say, oh, yeah, you might want to wear some gloves, she said, that's a backdoor unit right there. That's nice that she was that considerate. Yeah. Fell out of her bottom while she was walking from the car to the... She's going to go away for a...

She's going away for a long time now, Josh. You're in trouble for that, I bet. This person says, for the love of God, please educate yourselves about fentanyl. I don't care to educate myself about fentanyl. That's what we're doing here. We're doing it right now. Yeah, we're asking for help. We're not spewing information we don't know.

We're saying, hey, if you got info, let us know. I have zero interest in learning about fentanyl, but go ahead anyway. We're trying right now. So we're being criticized saying it's an epidemic. Everybody should know about it. Yeah, educate us. That's what we're doing. don't be mad. By the way, we have an answer. No Hawk Welder, Jesus hasn't answered your question.

The difference, Ashley, between fentanyl from a doctor and fentanyl from your drug dealer. One has a Ph.D. The other one has a rap sheet, most likely. I mean, go ahead. Educate the hell out of us. I'm a near 55-year-old man. I have no interest. I don't know if that, does that make me a bad person? I don't understand. Am I bad? Because I don't care to learn about fentanyl? I don't think it makes you a bad person. But go ahead. Did you see what this lady did to her damn apartment, the gal who turned her apartment into a water park? Oh yeah. This is on 93x.com. Yes. You might have to scroll a little bit. Do you mind bumping that up? I was just going to say, or I could, you know, bump it up for you guys. That's a lot of work, though. You got to see this.

And as Josh and Ashley mentioned, check out 93x.com. come let's uh let's get you going here with a fun video what were we talking about a few days ago we were talking about pole dancing weren't we oh yeah we were talking about pole dancing became an exercise craze for a very brief period of time years ago it became the hot new way to get fit and then after two weeks nobody cared yeah and they moved on your core there was a lot of talk about the core you're right it's weird how that wasn't like pickleball that exploded out of nowhere and stuck around forever. Poll dancing came and gone.

By the time some people heard of it, there's, the pole dancing gyms were spirit Halloween's at that point. Yeah. Plenty of ladies went ahead and bought a pole to keep at their homes and or apartments, and there are still some who do. So here's a gal who had a stripper pole at her apartment. And by damn, did things go sideways on her? and her dog.

In this video, again, you can find on 93x.com, the gal and her dog are hanging around the apartment. This gal is recording herself on her cellular telephone. She appears to be readying herself to take a spin around that stripper pole. And I don't know, maybe she's an only fan's lady or so. I don't know why she was recording herself, but she was. Right as she begins her routine, the pull. shook loose from the ceiling.

It knocked into the fire sprinkler thing up there on the ceiling. And next thing she and her dog knew, water is blasting down out of that busted sprinkler like a bastard. Looking at that top ricks and you can read just a house. She jumped into a pool. I know someone in the sprinkler business, right, for home sprinklers, businesses and stuff like that. And it's hilarious because you go into a restaurant, he'll point. out the system they have and tell you something about it. I've learned a couple things about fire suppression systems at various restaurants that we've

gone to together. Does this guy know how to party or what? You know what? I think I love it when people are into that kind of weird stuff, right? They're really into what they do and he can tell you everything about it. I've gotten a few angry texts over the years, Josh, from listeners demanding that I educate myself on fire suppressment systems. Well, it can save a life. The audio is so great. I know. It's so much water.

I have never seen that amount of water pouring out of anything in my lifetime. No, not at all. And then she later like videotapes the fire truck and just goes, whelp? What do you mean, whelp? All of your belongings are now screwed. Asha, her name is Asha. She and her confused dog were able to get outside before they drown. Poor dogs.

It's like, wow. But I don't have any information on. I mean, was her apartment a total loss? What about the person living underneath her? I mean, that was an unbelievable amount of water. It was a waterfall. It was. The local firehouse showed up and they fixed the sprinkler,

but I don't know what the total damage, total loss, I don't know. Social anxiety, Jesus says they dump about 100 gallons a minute. Well, I think, yeah, that's what it looked like. F me. Skinny Carpenter, Jesus said just that audio made his house wet. It is incredible. Looking at that top ricks and you can read just the hand. That sucks.

Used puck bag, Jesus says, was her apartment under a pool? Yeah, it sounds that way, doesn't it? You got to secure those poles. Oh, speaking of secure, I hope she had a security deposit. That's awful. God, dang, I've never seen anything like that. No, me neither.

I've seen videos where people, kind of knock into one of those things, but nothing like that. We had a situation at our garbage house at St. Cloud State where we had one bathroom with a tiny little $2 sink. And, you know, one of my buddies was in the bathroom with a couple of ladies. I don't know if they were smoking drugs. Fentanyl maybe. I don't know.

This is mid-90s. I don't know if there was fentanyl back then. But this is what my buddy did. He did this cool move, right? He's in the bathroom cubby with a couple of ladies. Who knows what they're doing in there. And he decided to do the cool move where you scoot your ass up in the air to sit on the sink. Oh, sure.

I've seen that. I do that all the time. I think I've even done it. Right. But again, this sink we had in our garbage house was about the size of your little laptop computer. Just a tiny little... Oh, it wasn't even like a vanity? No.

Why this dumb bastard, probably drugs and alcohol, why he thought it would support his weight. To this day, I have no idea. So he props himself up on the sink. He tears it right off the wall and water is spraying during a house party. Spraying. Now, I got to say, though, Josh, it maybe had a quarter of the force of the water from this lady Asha who knocked her a ceiling sprinkler smooth apart. Yeah, and that one you can at least reach right over and turn the water off.

We were able to get our hands in there and turn the... That's the closest I can come to. Wow, that gal. Lucky she and her dog didn't drown. And I feel bad for the dog because the dog is thinking, wait a minute, what happened now? Why am I swimming for my life? I've seen something kind of similar. I lived in a apartment or not, excuse me, a townhome community where there was talk under garages, right?

So your unit is above your garage. Dude, that's so sweet. Yeah, it was kind of cool. And where I was at, there was a few Hispanic and Indian families. So I was kind of like the resident cold weather expert where they would ask me, what do I do? do I put chains on my tires? You know, I don't really know what to do. But unfortunately, this one couple, well, family, I should say,

they went back to Mexico for the winter and didn't know that they should leave their furnace on. They just didn't know. They hadn't been in a climate like that. And their pipes burst, and it looked like it was just an ice waterfall out the top of their window going over the garage. It was like Superman's Fortress of Solitude. Sure.

It just was this, I mean, it was beautiful. But at the same time, it destroyed the units on both sides. They never came back. It was just such a loss. It was incredible to see, but I had no idea it could get that bad with the pipes bursting. I learned a lesson. Always make sure your furnaces on just a little bit, no matter how long you're gone. That was pretty bad.

F me running. All right. Some of you's out there. You know, we've been talking about drugs a little bit this morning. Fentanyl. Some of you is, if you don't. straighten out your life, whether it be the hard as nails, illegal street drugs, maybe hooch is your problem? If you don't get a handle on all that, this is the kind of future you can expect

for yourself, and it ain't pretty. I got an example for you. This ass hat here in Arizona. Dude broke into one of those passenger trains, and then once it got cooking down the tracks, he pulled off all of his clothes and climbed up. on top of the train car and rode on top of the sum bitch for a stretch, just ass naked. He broke in, so no one knew he was in this commuter train. And then once they got her going down the tracks, full of people. He gets off all his clothes, climbs up to the top, and he does a little teen wolf surfing up on top of the D-swinging. I mean, I see the appeal, but except for the nudity part.

Yeah, there were old ladies and little kids on the train. See, you know. Oh, don't do that then. take you to jail for all that. I was thinking like, you know, if there's nobody there, I guess maybe, whatever do you, but. A buddy of mine, he just had to chew his kid out because he found out his friends where they were in a rail yard and they climbed on top of a train, right? And he was almost, I should say he was equally as frustrated that they posted it online. And that's how he found out, right? Somebody busted him for it. It's like, you know, if you're going to do something stupid,

First and foremost, don't do anything stupid. But secondly, don't post it online. That frustrated him too. I don't get that mentality. I kind of feel like maybe we were smarter back then, but then again, maybe we would have been in equally as much trouble for posting things if there was cameras and social media and stuff. We didn't do that.

We didn't post. Like when we would go, I don't know, like climb on the church roof across the street from my friend's house. Or like we would not post things like that. There were people I knew growing up that would have a. no problem like taking a video of them taking a bong rip and putting it on their Snapchat but at least for me and my friend group that was uh yeah no no no no no no no no videotaping that stuff what are you doing it's hard to say hard to say josh if we would have posted those things if we had the opportunity mean we certainly recorded um some of what we did

i've told you those stories before like vHS tapes yeah you get out the camcorder and we would we recorded some of our vandalism and some of our terrible behavior and then the dude who own the can corner a quarter his parents found all the videos and i can't believe that his parents to this day will look me in the eye after seeing so i wish i could see though is it was can you share any of it or you don't even want to bring it just well he the vandalism was one thing agging houses and t ping houses and saran wrapping cars and uh what else did we do i mean water ballooning do kind of normal stuff. The vandalism was one thing.

Some of it was very just junior high, ha-ha, but some of it was very destructive. Some of it was thousands of dollars in damage type stuff, right? The reason why I give this dude's parents all the credit in the world for still looking into my eye and speaking to me as an adult, because they should have turned their backs on all of us forever. what I'm most ashamed of is just the way we used to talk. We were just really nasty in the way we talked to each other

and the way we talked about other people. That's good that you realize that, though, says you're a thoughtful person. I remember in sixth grade when, you know, I first had the courage to start swearing, right? Like around buddies and stuff like that. I couldn't swear at my house. You needed to build up the courage to swear. Oh, you know how strict my folks were. I mean, we couldn't, I got in trouble for saying crap once.

I mean, it was just, you couldn't say anything. Darn, that, too close to damn. Don't say it. Sometimes I really wonder what the hell happened behind closed doors over there. But anyway, so you built up the courage to swear. Yes, and then we, I remember standing outside of a PDQ once, and we're all sitting there in every other words the F word, F this, F this, even in ums. I was effing, where were we?

Then I remember thinking, like, I don't like myself very much. Why am I saying the F word constantly? It was just too much. And how old were you when you had this? Sixth grade. Sixth grade you had this revelation. It was impressive that you would even think like that. Well, it was too much.

I went from zero to, geez, I'm saying this all the time. So I know what you mean. Like, if that was videotaped and somebody else's parents saw it, I would be pretty embarrassed. I have to remind my son, like, if he's playing video games with pals, you know, you got to watch your mouth. You don't know who's sitting around there. It might not just be your buddy. You know, because we can hear his friends in the background, stuff like that. There was also nudity.

Oh, is that right? Like for comedy? You know, mooning cars. Yeah. You know, but more it was, I thought, oh my damn. I mean, I remember some of what I would say into the camera. You know, everything was CSMF, you know, I'm going to get my D-S, you know. You just all that junior high high school crap.

And I can't believe that my buddy's parents, they should have just given up. All right. So this guy who crawled up on top of the passenger train, naked, train full of people. Like I said, old ladies and little kids had to see his friggin' broken Johnson swinging around. It's just disgusting. Once he was under arrest and no more little kids were subject to the sight of his peepee. For some reason, the dude treated the police like they were in charge of running his data. profile. He told the cops that his name was Dan and he enjoys vodka, beer, and playing the banjo. That's a hell of a combo. You know, that actually sounds like the type of guy you might want to

spend a Friday night with. You're under arrest, they said to him, Josh. And he said, well, hello, my name is Dan. And I enjoy vodka beer and playing the banjo. I don't know. People that enjoy vodka kind of freak me out. But Josh, I mean, yeah, I hear what you're saying aside from the hey everyone look at my penis this guy kind of sounds like a yeah a good drinking buddy i'd sit around a campfire somebody's playing a banjo yeah yeah it's just so he's so close to being someone of note he's he's very close to he's almost there maybe he's needs one good talking to maybe and he's very friendly obviously he is my name is dan he said oh jesus look at the time we got to go yeah cubby i don't know that's a very good question you asked if social media was around when

we were kids, I feel like I would have been in juvenile hall within about a half hour. But the question was, would we share those videos of our derelict behavior with social media? Or would we have kept the bad stuff private? Good question. I have a feeling we would, but probably not. Because sometimes my wife will remind me of the stupid things that we did as kids. And we, like you, my friend had like a hi-eight video camera. he videotaped a lot of stuff.

Maybe we would have posted it just so like are the chicks in school might think were cool. That's exactly what I was going to say. If I thought maybe I could impress a girl, I bet you I would have made something public that I would have deeply regretted. I would have probably gone to Juvie Hall just for something I said or did all by myself on social media. But as far as the derelict behavior, smoking drugs, drinking, tee peeing and egging, Would I have made it public? I like to believe I wouldn't, unless maybe I thought it would impress a girl, and then that's where all would have went haywire.

Yeah, I'm with you, where I also would like to think, no, no, no, we were much smarter back then, but definitely not. When it comes to trying to impress a chick, you'd do a lot of stupid stuff. The final really awful act that happened on these videos that we made as junior high and high school kids where we would record our behavior and then hide the VHS tapes and watch it, you know, after hours. I remember that. And then, of course, parents found these.

these VHS tapes. Probably the worst thing that that was done was the camera was kind of set up stationary. We were just partying, right? Just set up. And periodically some one of us morons would walk up to the camera and say something filthy, right? It'll look at me drinking, just typical. One of our pals up to the stationary camera, pulls down his pants and his underwear's, puts his ass right up to the lens. And then he even spread them. Oh. I hate that to you. Or you could count the spokes if you wanted to. That's sick. And mom and dad found it.

Watch the whole smear. They must have a pretty good sense of humor if they didn't. 86 you guys from hanging out. I don't know why they accepted us beyond those. I don't know why they accepted us. Sports on the 93 eggs half-assed morning show. Bob, Bob. Did we decide what Ozzy Osbourne song we're playing next? Josh, are we still taking requests? Yeah, and a lot of people are agreeing it should be something off and no rest for the wicked.

It's tough to decide. There's so many good tracks. Let's just play the whole album. Something off no rest for the wicked. You got it. The whole record. Let's just play it from top to bottom. I would love that.

Bottom back to top. I would love that. Yeah, we are celebrating the life of Ozzy Osbourne this week. It's been a year since he passed. A little earlier we were talking about it, and we figured we'd squeeze in some Aussie music today, so. All right, we settled that. We're playing something off a no rest for the wicked.

But what's it going to be? A lot of good choices. We'll finger it out. I was originally thinking Miracle Man. Got busted. We're open. Miracle Man. What is that unit that they used to make that funny sound?

Talk box. Is that a talk box? He got busted. I remember when that video came out on MTV. Music television, they called it. I remember that. He's running around a barn filled with pigs, Ozzy Osbourne is. They're playing in a barn.

Did you remember that? I do. They're playing in a barn. Here's some ones I was thinking off the album. You eliminate two of them. Okay. This could help. Miracle Man, devil's daughter,

breaking all the rules, bloodbath and paradise, fire in the sky, crazy babies, tattooed dancer, demon alcohol, or hero. I have to eliminate two of them. Two of them. I'm going to eliminate crazy babies. Okay. I never like that one. I'll take that one out.

I'm with you on. I almost skipped that one. And I'm going to eliminate demon alcohol. Oh, really? It's tough, man. There's all so good. They're all very good. Hey, while we're setting here,

I'll just give you a little heads up on the twins. They lost again. Now they've lost four in a row. Five two was the final final last night. Cleveland. They got to get going here for Christ's sake. They play game three of four tonight. Bailey Oberg are going to start for the boys.

Things feel like they're falling off the tracks here. That's what it feels like to me. Randy Shaver and Brad Reader will be here in a half hour to cover this further. Until then, we'll take a little breakie break. Josh has some more news coming up for you right quick. Air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good.

What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at Standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better.

at standard heating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialkylaw.com. That's Bia-L-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Hey, I'm Chris Van Fleet. Go behind the scenes and beyond the headlines

with the biggest names in pro wrestling and beyond. Mr. Sandman. All I ever wanted to be was a pro wrestler. So I got to live my life. And make people really happy. The heartbreak kid himself, Sean Michaels. Do you think there's anybody better than you were? I think I was great at what I did.

And I think other people were great at what they did as well. Greatness is more of mindset, I think, than anything else. Mindset, motivation, insight with Chris Van Fleet. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Half-assed morning show. It's not just the swearing. Did one of you fornicate? Fornicate?

Look, I've boned a lot of chicks in my time, sure. But as far as I can recall, I've never fornicated anybody. 93x. Passion is crazy. You know what I'm saying? You know, that sounds like a crime of passion went down here. Yeah, very passionate. A crime of passion.

It seemed like there was some passion. If your goal is to keep a fiery domestic dispute strictly private, the absolute worst strategy is trying to vehicular manslaughter the audience. Well, a 53-year-old Minnesota man allegedly tried to mow down a pair of campground employees with his sedan because he caught them watching him argue with his girlfriend. And he didn't like that. Washington County Sheriff's deputies rushed to St. Croix's Regional Park about 1 p.m. July 14th, following reports of a disturbance.

Upon arrival, deputies met with the shaken husband and wife duo who managed the grounds. The couple explained they were in the middle of picking up trash when they overheard some high-deceble romantic discord nearby. Naturally, they glanced over. But rather than taking his heated argument elsewhere, the guy redirected his entire furious vocabulary at the bystanders barking at them to stop looking at me. And that's when a bad situation threatened to turn lethal. The man allegedly jumped behind the wheel of a sedan and aimed it directly at the husband, missing him by mere feet.

Not satisfied with a single near miss, he allegedly whipped the car around for a second pass, targeting the wife. She was forced into a high-stakes life or death sprint, diving behind a massive tree just as the sedan roared past. Jesus, balls. Deputies tracked down the suspect and cuffed him after a brief foot pursuit. Unphased by his new wristwear, the man immediately began venting about how, the employees shouldn't have been looking at him right before dropping a massive accidental confession. I didn't try and run anyone over. I think they just thought that, he blurted out to deputies,

which another deputy noted seemed to be an odd statement considering law enforcement hadn't even mentioned the vehicle assault or the campsite to him yet. Sure, he got his mouth going there and kind of boned himself. I didn't do what you haven't yet said I'm accused of doing. Right. The suspect is scheduled to present his unique views. on privacy rights and vehicular etiquette to a judge on September 16th. Sometimes I wonder about that campground crowd. Yeah.

Me too. Things go down. My brother has like a RV parked on like one of those little campground areas and it gets a little weird. He's got some stories. There's some weirdos around there. Mostly good people, but touch of the weird. I wonder about him, Cubby. Yeah, there's, I mean, shoot, you watch like some.

date lines or something like that every once in a while the campground comes into play. It was on yesterday's date in 1873. Jesse James held up the Rock Island Express, pulling off his very first train robbery. Now, Jesse was a professional. His operation was highly planned, deeply sophisticated, and incredibly lucrative. In fact, the train company officially reported losing $6,000, but that wasn't the truth. It was closer to $65,000. the train company apparently didn't want the public to know just how much they were hauling around in cash.

A masterclass in criminal strategy. The woman in our next story, however, is a total train wreck, and her brilliant plan barely left the station. A dollar general manager in South Carolina was arrested after staging an armed robbery for a very specific, very noble purpose. She desperately needed bail money for a friend. And in a shocking twist that no one could have seen coming. she now needs some bail money for herself. Police originally rushed to the store and reports of a stick-up. The manager, a 25-year-old woman, told cops a man walked in, implied he had a gun, and demanded the cash, which would be terrifying if it were true.

Instead, detectives noticed a few microscopic inconsistencies in her story, and she was terrible at acting. Turns out she staged that whole thing just to get her acquaintance out of the clink. Well, pretty nice thought, I guess. Yeah, hey, I'll help you out. Just got to commit a crime here in the process. While she won't be joining the ranks of famous historical outlaws, John Dillinger certainly did. It was on this day in 1934.

The legendary robber was shot dead by federal agents outside of Chicago theater. Legend has it that he was packing more than a large Tommy gun, by the way. Rumor is, he was also the proud possessor of an unlawful. unusually large penis. That's disgusting. Yeah. Some people thought it was even at the Smithsonian. The Smithsonian said, no, we don't.

They don't do that. We don't have his penis. No. People thought that they had his... The respectable place. People thought that his pecker was on display at a museum? Yeah. They thought it was abnormally large, like something that people should see.

You know, it's just so uncommon. And part of that was, I guess, when he was dead, the sheet that was covering him, had quite the tent. Hmm. You know, with some rigor. Morta setting in. Oh, for crapes sake. Wow, that's a big weaner right there. Good for him. Can't a guy just lay there dead without people judging his rod? If that was ever the case for me, I'd want to be alive and embrace that. I'd love to have that, not after I was dead. By the way, our birthday boy

later on this morning also is rumored to have a very large penis. Birthday boy? Yeah. A mom in the UK knew her morning was off to a rough start when she opened her front door to find her delivery missing, but nothing could have prepared her for what her ring camera caught. In the clip, an underdressed thief strolls up the driveway at 5 a.m. wearing nothing but panties, a sports bra and flip-flops. I like the way you said panties. I said it in a particular way because I know some people hate it. She casually swipes two bottles of milk and makes a quick dash for it.

Not one to let her dairy heist slide. The utterly baffled homeowner posted screenshots to Facebook, where several neighbors chimed in to report their own milk. had gone missing recently as well. Police confirmed they received a theft report regarding the stolen milk Friday, July 17th. As of press time, the bra-wearing burglar has yet to be busted. Speaking of bras, perhaps you'll find this information titillating. According to sales data, the average bra size in the U.S., a hefty 34-D,

a breathtaking jump from 40 years ago when the average was reported to be 34B. always said anything bigger than a handful, you're risking a sprained thumb. I can understand. That's quite the jump. That is. A B to a double D. That's where we're at these days? That's what they say.

Oh, you young kids have it rough, don't you? The 34 has stayed the same. It's the cup size that has garnered some big eyes. I still will never understand that sizing. Like, what's the appropriate size? Yeah, because they're like, oh, okay, if it doesn't fit around your, like, a waste area or, like, your bust there, then you go, like, 32, 34, 36. But I swear to God, I've done that, and they all fit the same. I'm sorry.

I hope you're not looking to us for any help on that. Sorry. That's one of the reasons why I refuse to buy, like, bras. I just have, like, the kind of, like, brawlet things that don't require, like, any hooking in the back or anything because I can't figure out bras. I'm 28 years old and I can't figure it out. I thought they had people that would help you at the Walgreens or wherever. somebody buys. There's somebody at Victoria's Secret that measures you, but one time they

measured me and I was like, you're just trying to be nice. There's no way. Thank you though. Oh, see, I know a guy who builds Victoria Secrets like he goes to the mall and builds them from the ground up. Oh, really? And Ashley, he'd help you shop for bras

if you asked him. What a nice guy. Yeah. I'll have to get his number. Yeah, I got his number right here. Which animal has the largest chest? Which animal has the largest chest. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to go with the

walrus. Any other guesses? I can say gorilla. Gorilla, Ashley. Either that or... Giraff? Giraff? No. What about... I'll go Katie Perry. Nope, she's not an... Well, I guess humans are animals. Bamboo. It's got to be a monkey of some sort. It's not the answer. Walrus! To which animal has the largest chest? Fair enough. It's the

walrus. A zebra. Oh. A Wisconsin man is behind bars after threatening to blow up his house, shoot people with an invisible finger gun, and pelt police officers with whatever happened to be lying around the home, saying he was tired of being made fun of, and that set him off. Were people poking fun at him? Apparently so. At least he thought so. According to authorities in our neighbors to the east,

32-year-old Zachary Fink was pointing his finger like a gun and threatening people with it. He's a three-year-old now. Around 5 p.m., June 22nd, he barricaded himself inside his home and sent police a string of threatening messages, including, I'll blow up the house right now, with an RN. Give me all the SIGs, the ones I asked for. This is a message he sent to the police? The police, yeah. Oh, so he's just totally out of his mind. He also said, I'll stab y'all.

Don't play games. I'm sick of getting picked on. I swear you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times. I'm out of here. Nearly five hours later, around 9.45 p.m., Fink stepped outside with a knife in one hand while still packing his invisible finger gun. An officer fired a 40-millimeter less lethal foam round in response, but missed. Fink answered by throwing knives at squad cars parked roughly 20 to 30 feet away.

Those missed, too, by an even wider margin, falling about 10 feet short of where officers were standing. How do you not laugh? I'm sure they kind of laughed. After coming up empty against police, he found a more vulnerable target, his own home. Rolling the dice on seven years of bad luck, he punched a mirror, then hurled the shattered glass out the front door before retreating inside. For the next 15 minutes or so, officers said they could hear what sounded like Fink destroying objects throughout the residence.

Finally, around 10 p.m., Fink came back outside, and according to police, continued acting like a dick before he was taken away. Finky. Shifting from a guy who couldn't throw a knife straight in Wisconsin to a guy who sadly was a little too good with sharp objects in Wisconsin. This state in history is pretty grim for the Badger's State. On this day in 1991, Milwaukee police arrested serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. Oh, God.

Finding skulls, headless torsosos, and other body parts in his apartment. He confessed to slaughtering as many as 17 men, earning him a lifetime behind bars until a fellow inmate permanently ended his sentence with a waitroom bar in 1994. Did you guys watch that Netflix deal on that show? I got through like 10 minutes and thought, I don't know, maybe I don't want to watch this. What Netflix deal?

For sure. The Netflix show on Jeffrey Dahmer? Like a movie or a documentary? I believe it was a series. I watched one. I think one movie on Jeffrey Dahmer's life. I think Jeremy Renner might have played Jeffrey Dahmer, if that rings a bell for anybody.

And it, I couldn't, I could barely get to sleep that evening. Sick. So, just sickening, repulsive, awful, awful, awful. I don't know that I've ever seen a documentary on the man's life. The movie was enough for me. Yeah, you're right. Jeremy Renner played him in a 2002 movie

called Simply Dommer. I think that's the one. But I've seen, I think I've seen more than one movie on his life. and it'll just, you'll never, ever forget it. It was so horrible. I've just seen kind of like some of the news magazine shows, like maybe a 60 minutes type of thing on him. But yeah, I've never watched a documentary. And like I said, I got 10 minutes into that Netflix thing.

Also, what you watched was actors and actresses. Yes. Okay. Not a doctor. Ten minutes of that. Too bad. It was just too rough for you. Yeah, it was too.

I just kind of. I get it. You know, and then I read, you know, some of the families were cool with it and figured, well, I don't know. Oh, I didn't know. that. Maybe I shouldn't watch it. Man. I mean, especially when you learn how quickly he could have been put away. Yeah, it's really, I guess, like, pathetic. The brushes that he had with police before he really cut loose with all of his madness, the brushes he had with police where they had

the son of a bitch, they had him. And they just, and they just let it go. It just makes you crazy. By the Power of Grey Skull, Attorney arrives in your living rooms today with the streaming premiere of the all-new live-action Masters of the Universe on Prime Video. Oh, that one's already a video? Yep, on Prime Video now. Didn't it just go to the theaters? Like a month or two ago? So is that a bad sign or is that very common now for it to so quickly go into the... Well, it kind of depends on the movie, but I've heard 45 days is about when they come to...

Yeah, either video on demand or some of the streaming services. Did you ever take a crack at this, Josh? No, I was waiting for it to come. I mean, I definitely want to watch it for the nostalgia purposes. Yeah. I loved He-Man. I thought he was so cool. But until I was adult and I watched it and I thought,

boy, this guy's kind of a wimp. It's horrible. Yeah, it's bad. It's just terrible. Obviously, I never realized that as a kid, but. I watched it. When I was a kid, I watched it for Shira. Oh, of course.

Because she was a spice wagon. Yeah, that was definitely one of the shows I never missed on Saturday mornings. But yeah, I'm going to watch the show. Isn't it something how you look back and say, Jesus, what the hell is this? It's awful. That's happened plenty of times. Over and over again.

Or movies I rewatch and think, how did I ever like this movie? Right. Rumor has it. God gifted him special genitals. David Spade 62 today. I wasn't aware of that rumor. I mean neither.

Again with the giant penis. I warned you. I warned you earlier. Happy 14th to Missy A from Dad. pushing 50, still benching 225, Jesus. Uncle Lonsdale Jesus hit up the Luther Kia Bloomington text line with Happy Birthday to sweaty. Still, after all these years,

the biggest Lady Gaga fan in Woodbury. And happy birthday to Elias, who's hanging out with Mickey Mouse and Elmo today as he's turning the Big O2 from Dad, and that's 93X News. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder. On the half-ass morning show. The boys. Let's check in with the fellas here.

Randy Schaeber, are you there? I am here. And what about the lonely boy? I am here as well. And I'm echoing really bad, Dana. Okay. Dana, I can figure out why. Let me tell you which button you got to press.

Press that one over there. Press the red button. No, that's the eject button. Don't hit that one. Keep it down. Hit the red button. Make sure number four is not right. pressed on the phone there.

I don't know why people come in here and change these buttons. Is that better, Brad? Oh, let's see here. Yeah, I cannot hear myself, so that's a good thing. Press the button. I feel sorry for the rest of you that have to hear me, but I don't have to hear me at least. Press the button that says purge. See what happened if you.

Self-destruct. Press the purge button. Welcome to the show, both of you. Welcome to Ozzie Week and Hogan Week. Oh, what's going on there? Well, we've been talking a lot about Ozzie and Hulk Hogan the last couple of days because a listener informed us on Monday that it's now been a year since two of them passed away. They both passed away a year ago this week.

Ozi's today, and then Friday I think would be Hulk Hogan's anniversary. So it's Ozzy and Hulk Hogan week here on the half-fast mornings. We've been playing a little bit of Ozzy Osbourne music, been talking up. and down about both of them. Let me throw one of the earlier on this morning. I played a little game. We played a little game called Ozzie or Hulk. So I'm going to state a fact and you have to tell me who that fact is connected to.

Ozzie or Hulk. Are you ready, Brad and Randy? Yes. Okay. This is one I used on the boys earlier. And they got it correct. I'll try it on you. Okay.

Ozzie or Hulk. He had six children. three from his first wife and three more from his marriage to Sharon Osborne Ozbourne Ozzy you guys are good

but did you think for maybe a second it was a trick question well I thought for a second it might have been Hulk until you threw in that last part you're right that was Ozzy Osbourne who had six children three with his first wife

and three from his marriage to Sharon Osborne boy some of the stories we were telling though I never knew that story about Hulk Hogan. Was this stuff really proven? I don't know. That's what I was asking. Dana said he saw it was proven.

The rumors. We'll just call him rumors. Ozzy will leave him out of it for now. He had his own problems, obviously. Hulk Hogan as well. And he was known to tell a few tall tales. So these are just rumors. And I had never heard this until we were having the conversation earlier.

The rumor was that Hulk may or may not have dangled with one of his daughter's best friends. While the daughter was in her 20s and he was in his 70s? And then, Daney, you mentioned there was a rumor that Linda Hogan might have messed around with one of Nick Hogan's friends? That's not even a rumor. That's confirmed in the documentary. I mean, they would, she would ride around in Hulk. Hogan's boat with the kid, like right by Hulk's house to kind of rub it in his face. Oh, man.

So Linda, Hulk's ex-wife, was possibly dating one of their son's best friends. Right. It says in 2007, Hulk Hogan had an affair with a close friend and former personal assistant to his daughter, Brooke. The highly publicized scandal became a major point of contention with the family. Yeah, I bet. I would think so. how different the lives of some people can be compared to your own. Ozzie and Hulk.

Can't believe it's been a friggin' year. Oh, my God. Ah, all right. There you go. Unless you guys have any further thoughts on a year gone by now. I hung out with a dog named Ozzie yesterday. That was kind of fun. Nick had a dog named Ozzie.

Did you? Different spelling. I did. Some bitch was around for 19 years. Dang, that's a good run. Wow. That's a good run for a dog. The one you were hanging out with Dana?

Was it named after Ozzy Osbourne? I believe it was named after the survivor contestant Ozzy. Much different. I didn't even know there was one. Now, you know, this isn't the busiest time of year for sports, as we've discussed over the last month. I mean, this is kind of a down time. So if you don't mind, my docks and Ozzy, who lived 19 years, in his life, he did try to murder Josh's stepdaughter. Yeah, better face off.

A lot of folks think, though, that I named him after Ozzy Osbourne. I actually didn't name him. I originally called Tiny Little Doxon Puppie. The Peckerhead, Josh, he fit in the palm of my hand when we drug him out of the Uptown Pet Store back in. I'm going to go ahead and say 19 and 98. Fit in the palm of my hand. We grabbed him out of a pile of doxon puppies at the Uptown Pet Store. And I actually named him Rocky after Rocky Balboa.

We got one of those. You do currently? Yeah, we have a Rocky and an Apollo. Oh, that's right. So I originally named him Rocky because of my love for Sly Stallone and his Rocky movie character. I took Rocky to one of our Beer League softball games, and he's running around the parking lot, you know, all aimless, a little sloppy little puppy. And it was my tight friend Big Al who said, what's with the squirrel over there? I said, well, that's my new dog, Rocky.

And Al said, that's stupid. And I said, what's stupid? And he said, the name. I named him after Rocky Balbo. He said, he said, doesn't fit the dog. He said, you should call him Ozzy. So that's where we went with it. Yeah.

I would confuse people when they'd ask me why I named him Ozzy. They always guessed Ozzy Osbourne, but I said, no, no, Ozzie knew some. And the tight end from the Cleveland Browns in the 80s. Some people got the joke, others did not. Twins lost again. Now they've lost four in a row. Yeah, she might be cooked. Yeah, writing might be on the wall here, especially the way they're losing.

Final score, Cleveland Indians, pardon me, Cleveland Guardians 5, twins two. What do you mean the way they're losing? I mean, they got shelled. In their final game against Chicago, they got shelled. They got murdered in game one against Cleveland. Last night was a closer game. What do you mean the way they're losing? The pitching is collapsing.

Oh. And I mean, last night was a little bit better. But, I mean, if you don't have, I'd be more. more concerned with the pitching collapsing than I would be if the offense was taking a few days off. But they're going to need pitching. And if they don't have it, then, yeah, it doesn't look good. I just think that when you look at this roster and you say to yourself, is this really a team that can win in October?

Even if they were having success in these first couple of series, I still think you'd have to question whether they would be good enough. to compete in October. And I think now we're starting to see that, you know, they're struggling right now against very good competition against the Cubs in Cleveland. And even if they get out of this, there's still two games left in this Cleveland series.

So it's possible they could split in Cleveland. But, you know, then they get the A's and they get some teams that are struggling like the twins. And who knows what that. looks like. So it's probably too early yet to decide whether you're a buyer or a seller. Too early. But there are definitely some things that are not going their way right now that's giving you pause. I had they had also forgotten a year ago. I saw this graphic app right after the All-Star break somewhere. They did the same thing. Yeah, they were actually, I mean, and the way they

finished last year, I think we all kind of forgot. But they got to the start breaking decent shape last year too. And then, I mean, the major collapse happened and the sell-off and all that. That's what we remember. But unfortunately, the same pattern is starting again. And you're right, they can turn it around, but they've got to do it now. I mean, this next week is really important. Again, with this P.D. Helping prick.

We were making fun of this guy yesterday. P.D. Helping, who just not the greatest hitter in the world, but he hits two home runs off of Joe Ryan Monday night last night. P.D. Halpin contributed to the Guardian's victory by hitting a sacrifice fly in the sixth inning. What are the hell that, if they can't control Petey Halpin, then maybe they...

Right. The Guardians had a little more of a small ball approach last night as opposed to Monday night when they hit seven frigging dongs. Yeah. So, yeah, game three or four tonight, come on now. Bailey Ober starts tonight for the boys.

He feels like, it's slipping away. It does feel that way. Slipping away. But, you know, stranger things have happened. Boston is still, you know. Oh, did they win?

Did they win? I don't know if they won last night or not. Because if they did. I went to the Saints game last night, so I was kind of tuned out of things. Tell us about that same game. The Boston game got postponed. Oh, yeah, they didn't play last night. Never mind.

Okay. We were talking yesterday. The Boston Red Sox had won. This thing. had won 14 games in a row. If they would have played and won last night, that would have been a team record, 15 wins. So we got a hold off on that.

Just kind of use Boston as an example of how things can turn around. I'm not saying the twins are in that position, but, you know, Boston was dead in the water three weeks ago. And, you know, now they're in playoff contention. We were talking about Ozzy Osbourne. And we also got to talking about dogs, Punta, Gorda Jesus has sent us in a picture of his dog that he got just a year ago. It's an Australian shepherd, Josh.

He sent me a beautiful picture. This dog is gorgeous. You know, those Australian Shepherd, sometimes they have like those really bright blue eyes, right? And they're kind of multicol. So he has named the dog, Ozzy Osbourne, spelled A-U-Z-Z-Z-Y. It's an Australian Shepherd. A-U-Z-Z-Y, A-U-S-B-O-U-R-N-E. That's great.

Beautiful dog. Look at that, peckerhead. And he's calling the dog the prince of barkness. I like it. Josh, yeah. We probably don't want to talk about the Saints game last night either. Why? Did you get drunk?

Well, I would have been, if I would have taken a beer for every home run, the other team hit. Oh, so the Saints are giving up a lot of dongs, too. Oh, my. We left before the end of the game. It was 11 to 2 or something like that. Yikes. Okay, well, I mean, there you go.

Things are bad all over, I guess. I hate when the Saints lose. This is a sign that things are falling apart at all levels, I guess, in the Twins organization. I don't like this Cincinnati Reds pitcher by the name of Caleb Ferguson. What a prick this guy is. You guys see the video of how this guy operated the other night? Yeah, that was pretty rude. It was rude, so the Reds are playing the Mariners.

Pardon me? There's an accident. Oh, by the way, before we get into this, Brad Rider, is it your birthday? No, in a couple weeks. Oh, Josh, you referred to someone as a birthday boy earlier. I was talking about David Spade. Oh, sorry. Okay.

Different guys. Yeah. My birthday is actually two weeks from today is my birthday. Oh, okay. I got confused there. Josh was talking about a birthday boy earlier, and since I knew it wasn't Shavers is in December, Dana's June, Cubby's March, I'm September. Ashley's like to, I thought maybe you were the birthday.

Everybody still has two weeks to get their presence for me. Well, what time are we meeting at KOD? That's not too far from you. Yeah. That's a little far for me. Have you ever been? Brad Reader. Sorry, I was taking a sip of coffee.

What did you say? It's okay. Have you ever been to a boom boom room? Straight-laced Catholic farm kid that you are. Twice. Twice, you said. Tell us about it. No, I really not.

I would prefer not to. Oh. There was a time where people thought it was on purpose, but Brad, when he used to come in studio, it would be the same day as the Rick's girls. I mean, maybe that just shows how many times we used to have the Rick's girls in studio. But it was so often that people started thinking Brad was doing it on purpose. And, of course, we went with that.

But it was just one of those things that timed out that way. You don't want to... I actually thought about coming in today, to be honest with you. I almost texted Dana this morning because I'm up in my office at school and I was driving right past the studio anyway. Hey, you should. We could have gotten some strippers in here right quick. We've got to speed down.

Okay, we've got a direct line. So you don't want to talk about your two trips to the boom boom? Not really in particular, no. Oh, I was going to ask me, were these golden golfers? My wife that listen to the show, so no, I really don't like that. Friends of your wife? I mean, they know you're a man, right? Well, actually, no.

I've been married for almost 30 years, so that's in question. You're just like a being now. Yeah, right. Just like a neutral being. Were these special occasions, meaning like a bachelor party or something? I was going to guess. No, it was it was Vegas both times. Oh, okay.

I was going to guess like Golden Gopher hockey road trips to Northern Michigan or something. Grand Forks, yeah, I'm sure. No. Well, you went to some places that I bet had some. Yeah, you go to St. College State. You pop by Sugar Daddy. This is what you do. St. Cloud, Houghton, Michigan, Fargo, Grand Forks.

Sure. Madison. All the places go for hockey fans will be. That's where you'll go. And that's where the university would want one of their employees hanging out. If you're taking the bus to Madison, you go right by Cruz and Chubbies. You got to stop. I got so drunk at Cruz and Chubbies once, it was just repulsive.

It was just disgusting how drunk I was at Cruze and Chubbies. I think I was there with you. I've only been there once. I think I was there with you. That, I behaved myself when you and I went together. But this was a road trip with just some pals. We were actually going to Madison to see a University of Wisconsin football game. It wasn't against the Golden Gophers. It was against the University of Indiana.

That was the day that Camp Randall State. was renamed on that day Camp Antoine Randall L. Stadium. God, he was a good college player. I will say that there were a couple of times back in the day when I would travel with gopher football, where there were discussions when some of us were out on a Friday night. But then most of the time, well, not almost time, all the time we decided it probably wouldn't be a good idea.

You showed up there in your gopher's polo shirts? Right, yeah, as staff. I mean, that's like one way to probably, you know, not. I understand all that. Who brought their dads? Yeah, you could have gotten away with it, but I understand why you didn't go. Sure. You had something to say, Josh? I just had a revelation, Nick. I've only been to a strip club two times without you.

Otherwise, every single time I've been, it's been with you. What were the two times without me? My 18th birthday. Oh, God. I went to the Voo. That's tradition, right? You go to the Voo and Mystic. You were very nervous, just sweating the entire time.

And then one other time, it was still, it was a work thing, but with another group of folks from here. Okay. And that's the time that a gentleman visiting from Los Angeles decided to be fun to grab a fire extinguisher off the wall. Ha, ha, I'm so crazy. I'm from Los Angeles. I'm a radio guy. Look at me. That was terrible.

Right. That's all there was to that. I'm glad you weren't there. That could have been pretty ugly. I mean, I get why you didn't go, Brad Rider. Right. You're working for the university, all that. Yeah.

I mean, no, no, I get that. You don't have to be defensive about it. They're legal. But, I mean, you know, we heard all the stories about Denny and Sally. I mean, when they were working for the vice. Vikings, so. They were in a hot tub. They were in a hot tub at one point. Mon's Venus. It was the Monz Venus. They got into a hot tub. It was hot tub night. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Me and Sally. That's right.

They got away with it, you know. Oh, wow. Yeah. Only play the drums when they win. Right. I remember, and I'm not trying to bring back memories to make you sad, Randy, but I do remember one road trip we took to Iowa. I was really, I was still an intern, I think. I don't think I was even full-time in. And we were in Iowa. Yes.

And there were, you know, we were out of a bunch of us were out of bar. And Randy's good friend was doing the color commentary at the time for Midwest Sports Channel, Dave Hoffman. Word. And Dave basically looked at us all and said, I'm not going because people will recognize me. then we all decided not to go. Okay. So that's part of the reason why, you know, we didn't go. I got so disgustingly drunk at Cruz and Chubbies.

And again, we were on our way to Madison to watch a football game. The next morning, I woke up. I had just the worst overhang ever. And I'm lying next to this. Huh? Hmm? No. t-shirt.

I'm lying next to this cruising Chubby's t-shirt that was pink and green and black and blue. It was just the loudest, almost like a tie-dye, just awful looking. And I said to my buddies, which one of you knobs bought this stupid t-shirt?

They said, you did, you friggin' moron. I had no memory of it at all. But we went to Camp Randall Stadium to see Wisconsin play Indiana when Antoine Randall L. was quarterback for Indiana. in the first half of that game, he ran a touchdown in, he threw a touchdown pass and returned a punt for a touchdown in one half of football. He was amazing.

We renamed the place, Camp Antoine Randall. I was driving to Madison once with the girlfriend and she was asleep in the passenger seat and we'd drive by Cruze and Chubbies. And I thought, how funny it would be if I exited right now went into Cruz and Chubbies and she woke up and she's in the Cruz and Chubbies parking lot and I'm not in the car. I'm just inside getting a lap dance. I wish you did that. I thought that story was going to end with you saying you did that, actually. Yeah, I regret not doing it. I had the opportunity to do something very hilarious and I chickened out.

Dana, you never leave a woman alone in a car in Wisconsin. Have you learned nothing? Josh, you had your chance at that stripper, that one night, that Big Tim's Jiggle Shack. What the hell was the name of that place we were at? King of Diamond. King of Diamonds, where you fell in love with the stripper. to run away with you. Yeah.

Still a little embarrassed by it. Yeah, you hate that story. That was embarrassing. I was a little drunk. That was very embarrassing. Not as drunk as she was, but I was up there. All right. I started this conversation by bitching about this

Cincinnati Reds pitcher by the name of Caleb Ferguson. So it was a Reds Mariners game the other night. Ferguson's pitching for the Reds in the seventh inning. Not that that matters, but Seattle had already put a few runs on the board. tough inning for the Reds, you know. They're out on the field forever. Mariners batter hit a little soft grounder towards the shortstop.

And the second base umpire, by the name of Bill Miller, kind of got tangled up with the Reds infielder, and the ball goes into center field. The umpire made a mistake. He couldn't get out the way. And it wasn't terrible. I don't know. And you could see how bad he felt about it. Instantly, he felt like a jackass.

The number one rule of umpiring is don't be noticed. Be in the right position. Be in the right position. Don't play a factor in anything other than making a call. He got tangled up with the player. The ball scooted between the two of them. And this Reds pitcher turns back to the second base umpire that's Bill Miller and starts effing fat ass.

Get the F out of the way, you fat mother effer. A royal runs into the umpire. Bill Miller, our crew chief. Wrong place, wrong time. Ferguson, not very poor. No, he would. If I'm that Bill Miller guy, okay, tough guy, how about I choke the hell out of you for a little while?

Yeah, I was on call. Well, you're running your yap like that? I think that umpire had every right to go over there and choke that prick. But he stood there, Miller, the umpite, you stood there and took it. That pissed me off. Me too. Now, Ferguson later apologized, though. Well, that's too late.

Well, I'm just saying. No, you're right. It does make a difference. It does. He apologized. Sorry I blew up. That doesn't happen very often, though. No.

You think about how many plays during the course of a season happen on the field. That is so rare that the umpires are out of position because normally that that just never happens. Yeah. Yeah, they do a great job. They're not NBA reps. These guys actually do a good job. D&D Jesus thinks that Brad doesn't want to talk about his strip joint experiences because he fell in love with a stripper.

It can happen. Via Josh. John Dear Jesus reminds me that the person I really fell in love with was the guy that cleans the pole and stage at Rick's Cabaret. Yeah. When we used to broadcast him there, Dana and Ashley, they still check in from toys for Tata. You wanted his body. He's gorgeous.

Yeah. I mean, you saw him in like, I think it was on purpose. He had beautiful hair. They had the fan on. It's going. But it was, that was perfect what he did. Dude was polishing the pole, and don't get fresh with that. Hard not to.

That was his job. Before Showtime, he's got a series of towels in each hand. Yeah. And he's squirting that pole with turtle wax or something, and he's just greasing that sucker. He knows what he's doing. He's spinning around. His pecks were glistening.

He got covered in some of that turtle wax. He's basically wearing a blouse, like something Lorenzo Llamas would wear. on the cover of a romance novel. And Josh said, under his breath, he said, I will have you. I don't know how, and I don't know when, and I don't know where, but I will have you. I'm also impressed with the guy that gets up there with the broom like his Zamboni, cleaning up all the dollar bills and shoving them into a pile.

Very efficient. I haven't seen that. Yeah. When there's a big, big pile, they got to get the broom out. Yeah, I suppose when the ladies are up there, I'm usually looking at the floor. Big Ganchi, Jesus. First, I've heard of this guy. He texted in to say, how come you guys don't come?

into KOD anymore. You got a free entry button in our system still. I've been working there for 11 years and I still haven't seen Do we? I never heard of that. It's because of what Josh did that night. He embarrassed us. I did. I'm not showing my face in there after what Cubby said to that lady.

Talking all mushy about love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stupid. It'd be one thing if you were to say wow, you got a great ass. It's not weird? That would have been better. I could live with that, but instead, You were talking about life and love. I'd like you to grind on my lap.

That would have been more comfortable. You were talking about fate and destiny and things like that. I don't remember. It was, yeah. Oh, gosh. I was a young man. I said, as soon as she walked away, I said, will you stop it? You were right.

You snapped me out of it. Good Lord. I fell in love. You understand. You saw her. Yeah, they wrote a song about that exact topic, Josh. They did? Yeah.

Oh, fell in love with the stripper? Yeah. What are you really honestly? I mean, what are you doing here? Why are you doing this? It was bad, but not quite that bad. I mean, I could take you away from all. I could take you away.

No, it wasn't that bad, but it was embarrassing how much I told her I loved her. Oh, my God, Josh. I didn't say I was going to take her away. He said, I love you. I didn't say that. I really do. When I think that you. I honestly love you.

Ooh, Olivia Newton, John. I have a guest house. Egan that you can live in. All right, so what I'm... What do what she's up to nowadays? Probably a better life than I could have ever provided. I don't think so. I don't think so.

What am I supposed to do about this? It says the pigs are launching their own multimedia network to broadcast games this. Good thing. It's a good deal. I don't understand it, though. Explain it to me. What does this mean? Well, you know, the wolves and the wild and the twins,

are all in the same boat, right? Yeah. Major League Baseball is helping all of these Major League teams that needed local television help, get them started. The wolves, I'm not sure what they're going to do. That's still up in the air right now as to what that looks like. But the Wild decided they're going to create their own television broadcast team, their own, I guess their own streaming network, I guess, is how you would put it, right? So I, you know, this is, this is probably the wave of the future for all these teams. Used to be that we had Midwest Sports Channel and, you know, fan dual network and all that stuff's gone now.

It's gone. And now these teams have to figure out what does the future look like. And I think the wild have taken the step to do it on their own. So this will be like the Pigs Channel, kind of like we have to do it. Twins channels? I was just about to say it's very similar to that, yeah. It's similar, but it's not because Major League Baseball, from my understanding, has provided the twins with the tools they needed to create what they've got.

I think the Wilde created this on their own. I don't think the NHL is like contributing, you know, money or pieces to this thing. There were a few teams that did the same thing, right? Like at the same time. Yeah, I think it's different behind the scenes, I think what the fans are going to see is very similar in that. The team is controlling it and doing the production and things of that sort. Which is a big expense.

I mean, it's a big undertaking because you not only have to provide home and away all of these people that, it takes a lot of people to do a live sporting event and do it well, right? So it's not just home games, it's away games too. then you've got to sell all the advertising, which is not an easy thing to do either. No. And then in the end, after you pay all those people, what's left, I'm assuming, goes to the team.

Well, you know, it's not like you're selling the rights to it. You're now having to do the production yourself. That's right. So there's a lot to it that the wild are not going to get the money that they were getting before. that's the part the fans aren't going to like hearing is when, you know, the teams start doing this. Yeah, it's a good thing for all the reasons that you said, but the fans aren't going to want to hear this part. That, you know, we're not creating the revenues that we used to because Bally Sports North, for example,

is not writing us a check for $50 million every year and giving it to us and then taking over ownership of the broadcast. And that was, you know, easy, although it wasn't a big market, it was easy money for the teams. well, they're not going to make that kind of money off of their local television broadcast for all the reasons you just laid out. So wait a minute, you're saying the pigs are going to make less money now? Well, I mean, think about it. Probably. Exactly.

Why the hell are they doing it? Well, because they have to. Because they have no other outlet to show their games. Okay. That's right. Because Ballet North is gone. Okay. Yeah, there's no more.

Yeah, there's no more networks like Fandual Network. They're gone. And so. I did not know that. And Nick, the Timberwolves are in the same boat. Okay. Now, maybe the NBA will jump in and help those teams. But I didn't know Balli Sports North was gone.

Yeah. When did that happen? The network, I think, still exists, but they don't, but they're not broadcasting games anymore. They're not doing live games. Fair enough. I was unaware of that. So it says here, the Twins package is $99 a year. That's what it's been the last two years.

So the pigs will have something similar to that. And, okay, what does this say? Oh, our listeners are texting in saying, more reason to get the cheater box. I forget the name of the gimmick, but people talk about it all the time now. They say you can get it at Walmart. Firestick or something like that.

No, no, it's something that you get, I mean, you honestly, from what I understand, you just get like 30,000 channels. Streaming services, people say everything. It's ungodly. I can't think of the name of it. But it's like an underground thing from what I understand. Maybe we shouldn't say the name of it. I don't know.

No, you can buy it. People are saying you can buy it at Walmart. Oh. I don't know if it's underground anymore. I don't know these things. I just hit power on the remote. I don't know what's going on, obviously. I don't think things are underground anymore.

Okay, fair enough. Yeah. Okay, so the pigs have a new system. Which is great because now there's a way for us to watch the wild and not, and still have hopefully the same quality of broadcast. I mean, certainly the people that are doing the games, you know, Lepanta and Kevin Gorg and those guys, that's great. I'm glad that they're back and they're doing it.

But what does it mean for the team and the revenue stream? That's a question that I don't know. All right. Well, it may take them a few years to be able to make that kind of money off of their local revenues like they did before. Well, I don't know if it will ever get back to where. used to be Brad. Yeah. So then I should expect...

It'll take them a while. We should expect something similar to this from the wolves any day now? Well, that's a good question. I know that there's something in the works. I don't think it's the same thing as starting their own. I think the wolves have hired a streaming service to do their games. Okay. That's my understanding.

Now, back to this cheater box that's taken the world by storm the last few years. I hear about it all the time from buddies at the beer hall. Usually when we get to a conversation about covering the wild and the wolves and the twins and the Vikings. It comes up every time on the text machine, the great majority of our listeners, there's a few negative texts, but the great majority of our listeners are saying you've got to get this cheater box. F everything else. VC box is it, I don't know if that's how it, VEES. That's the most common answer I'm getting judged.

And some folks are saying that they're friends, have one and you can watch everything. And people are saying that the Walmart, the one you get at Walmart doesn't have all the channels. So I don't know for sure about any of this, but boy, a lot of people have them, it seems. What a mess. I would need somebody to come over and set it up for me,

I feel like. Oh, me too. What a mess, though. It's just such a pain in the ass to figure out what's on what channel and what's happening now and who's got streaming this and that. I'm easily lost on this subject as you can. So I take the other route. Sorry, part of the complication with the wolves too is it's a domino effect because the NBA still has not announced their national TV schedule for the season because they're waiting on numb nuts to make up his mind on what team he's going to play for.

And then all of the other national networks are going to fall in line and then choose their games that are on TV. If you're wondering why the wolves haven't announced anything TV related yet, it's because they haven't even announced the national TV. All right. The highlight of that rant, obviously. The highlight of that rant easily was when Brad referred to LeBron James as numn-n-nucks. I like that. That's perfect.

That was good. Now, all right, one more thought on this cheater box. I have a friend who's had this system now for a few years, and he says the highlight of the whole works, Josh. He gets every pay-per-view movie, every pay-per-view movie, every pay-per-view boxing, wrestling, every movie channel from here to Biafra, every everything. He says the highlight for him, 24 hours, he's got a channel,

we're all they show, 24 hours a day is the Munsters. Oh, I love that show. That'd be great to know whenever you're in the mood it's on. Yep, that's exactly kind of how he put it. He said, any time a day when he wants to feel good about life, he hits that Munster's channel. and Fred Gwyn is doing something hilarious. Well, there you go.

Were you a Munsters or Adams family guy? Easy answer there, Bradrider. Munsters all the way, 100%. Never really gave two pumps about the Adams family. So there you go. All right, we got a brave new world. The pigs are entering a brave new world, their own network and all that.

Speaking of television and such. Cam Newton lost his job at ESPN. Yeah. Damn, a lot of people did. I love that some bit. Yeah, Cam Newton. Including Tom Pelliserro. Yeah, that sucks.

Who does such a great job. Now, he'll be fine. He'll land on his feet. Well, every one of these swinging ds will be fine. The athletic or somebody will hire him. But he's a local guy, and he's really good at what he does. And I feel bad for him because he's just really, good at the NFL. This article leads me to

believe that ESPN does this every summer. They purge the joint and fire 8, 10 people. So the following characters have been told that their key no longer works at ESPN headquarters. Well, once it was a reporter that Pat McAfee was going to make $50 million.

Right. Kind of realize that they're going to have to purge some contracts. Yep. Never saw it, the Pat McAfee program. They're not missing much. Cam Newton, Ryan Clark, Carl Ravich. He's been around for ever call him games. 30 years. Stephanie,

Stefania Bell, David Lloyd. These are SportsCenter people, Sports Center anchor David Lloyd, NFL Network reporter Tom Pelliser, NFL network analyst Charles Davis. Well, that's too bad. They took Ryan Clark. They let him know between commercial break while he was on the air.

Yeah, that seems... Carl Ravich found out on Twitter. Well, that's going to happen now and again. Someone has texted in to say that Cam Newton was fired, but his hat is still employed at the S-P. They're going to hang in the rafters. The hat has two years left on his contract.

Real quick, looking at text messages. People are texting in, their favorite channel. Now that they've gained this cheater box, rosy-cheeked Jesus, enjoys 24 hours of murder, she wrote.

Another listener enjoys 24 hours of Sanford and Son. I found that Saturday Night Live channel you were talking about the other week, Nick, where it's just nonstopping. It's fun because it went from like an episode in 2005 to one from, you know, 1970, whatever. Yeah. It's a good mix. I've mentioned before that on the goofy setup that I have, and I couldn't tell you what it is, I have a couple of 24-hour channels. One of them is the Price is Right, and I bitched about that not too long ago about how Bob Barker was a total dick and honestly sucked at his job.

probably about 24-hour Prices Right channel 24-hour Saturday Night Live and there's one more I'm forgetting But yeah the Saturday Night Live deal is Is fun Before too long Dana you're going to notice a lot of repeat

Sure But you'll find your way around that Catchy Comedy Channel 226 on Comcast You have like the Dick Van Dyke show You've got Cheers You've got taxi You've got the Bob Newhart show So that's one you can't find anything else.

Tune into that channel. You said, what's this channel called? 226 on Comcast. I don't know what that means. It's called catchy comedy. So you get Newhart, you get taxi, and what else? Yep. Cheers.

Oh, that's great. Yeah. That's great. Oh, I feel like good things are coming to my beloved University of Minnesota Men's Basketball Program, and I'm far from the only one getting that vibe. Head coach Nico Medved already landed a big, fat-ass contract extension.

Roll the boat, Skyyama! Well, no, Nico, the basketball guy. Yeah, that's him. Right. Real the boat, Skyimba! He's screaming and yelling about the boat? Yeah. I thought that was... He's excited about Nico. PJ. This time last year, Nico was getting ready for

his first season there, coach in the U of M, but now he's getting, I don't know, a $200,000 raise and another year added to his deal, from what I understand. that's just great. I see good things. Yeah. You did a great job last year. I know it's nobody's business,

but this article did list like some of the bonuses this guy has in his contract. I mean, if they have some great performances in the next couple of years, this guy's going to be just pissing $1,000 bills. If they win the Big Ten championship, half a million, final four appearance,

you get to. this many thousands of the sweet 16 appearance he gets this many thousands of duh and I think they can do it I pray that they can I'll be just glory I would I think I've mentioned this before of all of our local ball clubs

if the Golden Gopher basketball program somehow finds themselves like in the Great Eight yeah I will be I will be a mess I will be you won't I'll probably have to watch the games by myself because I will be I think that's going to be very very

difficult though because of course it will be just the this the the the the way college basketball is right now and how there is no loyalty in staying at a school right just makes us so difficult yeah here's a listener josh how fitting we mentioned earlier that this week we are celebrating the life of ozie osborne and holk hogan talking about him up and down it's been a year now since they passed tonka tig welding Jesus says on whatever crooked setup he's got at home on his television, he has a 24-hour Osborne's channel. Oh, yeah, I loved that. You can watch the old show with Ozzy and his family.

And all those dogs. God, help us, they had a lot of dogs. They did. A lot of dogs, little dogs. 24-hour Tosh Point O channel. Never saw it. That was a fun show. I haven't seen that either.

I know people love it. 24-hour different strokes. Ooh, sweet. Oh, the world don't move to the beat of the same drum. What might be right for you may not be right for some. Guess what? A man is born. He's a man of means.

Then along comes you. And you got nothing but your jeans. And they call it. Different strokes it takes. Different. What's what about? Rooms? Come on now.

What was her name? Kimberly. She kind of went sideways, didn't she? Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah, she did. But more than sideways. Poor gal.

The Minnesota Lynx are on a six-game winning streak, thanks in large part to the scoring of Kayla McBride, who's been named the WNBA Western Conference player of the week. Three games they played last week. She shot 60% from the field, 44% from the three-point stripe, average 28 points a night. Her best game was last week against Phoenix. She scored 37 with six rebounds, four steals, two blocks. As of yesterday, the Lynx have a 21-6 record, despite Nefis. And I think she's coming back tonight.

Collier has yet to play a game. You're right. She might play today. Yeah, they're an afternoon game. Yeah. At Seattle. Yeah, 2 o'clock game today. 24-hour family feud channel.

That must be, if they're playing in the afternoon on a Wednesday, that must be that it's being broadcast in primetime overseas. Are we guessing that's what's going on? Well, I know that's the gimmick that the NHL is going to do this upcoming. I don't know if ladies basketball is doing that to show the game in Berlin or something. I don't know. Josh, yes. 24-hour channel here.

A lot of folks are texting in their different television setups. And I guess there's 24 hours dedicated to one show is quite common. 24 hours of Bob Ross painting. I think I'd fall asleep. Yeah, it's very soothing. Is it? Yeah, I enjoy watching that when I see it on. 24 hours of what this listener calls Camel Toe Chrissy.

That means Three's Company. 24 hours of Beavis and Butthead. Have you yet to watch the reboot of that? I think I watched one episode years ago of the reboot of Beavis and Butthead, and it just didn't grab me. The first season was pretty good. It's really fascinating. The regal beagle from Threes Company. Yeah, yeah.

Jesus, they had so many misunderstandings, didn't they, through closed doors? They really did. That was the whole basis of the show, is someone misunderstood a conversation happening behind a closed door, and the whole apartment would go into a tizzy, and Mr. Furley would go down a set of stairs. I was just watching a sitcom, and they talked about Three's Company. You know, they kind of made a reference to it, and said the same thing.

So many misunderstandings. Chrissy would be on the other side of a closed door, putting on a pair of tight pants, and she's going, Oh, and so of course, Jack and Janet would assume she was having sex, and then Larry and Mr. Furley, Mr. Roper, the whole smear. That was Three's company in a nutshell. Right, Randy Schaver, you watch the show. 24 hours of Saved by the Bell.

How do they sustain all these channels? I would love that when I was a kid. I don't know. I don't know. This is a joke. More anxiety than Hare Jesus says he gets 24 hours. is a last man standing. You're making that up.

You'd know that. It's your favorite show. I love that effing show with Charlie and his brother, Alan, and they had the kid there. Yeah, I don't think that's the right show. Charlie and Alan, Charlie was always hammered with some whore up in his bedroom, and Alan is down in the basement straight lease. Different program altogether.

Oh, but Felix and Oscar in a very messy apartment. Again, you're going far back. odd couple. That's the odd couple. We got to go, Randy and Brad. We'll talk to you again now. See ya. Okay. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working,

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mention 93X. Endocratheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki Law.com.

That's B-I-A-L-K-E-L-E-L-L-C-E-L-L-C-L-E-L-L-T. And it spells relief for you. Hey, I'm Chris Van Fleet. Go behind the scenes and beyond the headlines with the biggest names in pro wrestling and beyond. Jeff Jarrett, great to see you. In this business, the story behind the scenes, so much more entertaining than what you see on camera.

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman. Mr. Heyman. You are a master at the little things. That's how you turn good into great. What does it take to achieve greatness? Whatever it takes I'm willing to do. That's an Emmy winning performance. How about it?

Insight with Chris Van Fleet. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Half-assed morning show. 93X. There you go. We're checking in here at 832 on our Wednesday broadcast. God bless the soul of Ozzy Osbourne. It was a year ago that we lost the man.

And as you heard, we just dumped Miracle Man onto your ass there. So good. From his 1988 record, no rest for the wicked. Zach Wild, the guitar player there, was like 20 years old when he recorded that. He was a young feller. 20, and he put that together. It's Ozzy and Hulk Week here on the Half Fast Morning Show. We miss them both.

And we still got a couple days left in the week to celebrate their lives. All right, I can't get enough of this conversation we had about television a few minutes ago. There are so many different ways to watch now. You've got folks who use cable. You've got folks who stream. I don't even know all the options. because I'm totally uneducated on the subject. But we got to talking about cheater boxes.

A lot of you go with the cheater box and you swear by it, just thousands of channels. And no matter what setup you have, we've been learning that there are 24-hour channels now dedicated to a specific program. I personally have Prices Right and Saturday Night Live. 24-hour channels, that's all they play. And I'm forgetting another one.

But anyway, people have been texting, about some of the 24-hour channels that they have on their current television setup. 24 hours of Alf. I haven't thought about that long time. I loved that program. Me too. In the mid-80s, I thought Alf was very funny. Me too.

24 hours of the Reba McIntyre sitcom. I've never seen Reba. Neither have I. I didn't know it was so popular they'd have a whole channel for it. Oh, that's what's blowing my mind here a little bit, Josh, is some of these. This guy here says, I got this 24-hour Roku channel. It's just a backdrop of a city. UFO and pirate ships go by as you see the city pan by.

It's kind of boring after a while, he says. Sounds kind of cool. Does you guys ever put on that 24-hour fireplace channel? Oh, yeah, I love that. The Ulog? Yeah, Netflix has that. Oh, I love those. They have different themed ones now that are really fun.

I usually put on the Harry Potter one. What about the one of the puppies? That's the best one. Oh, I didn't know there was one. No, I don't know the fireplace set up. 24 hours of G.I. Joe. Awesome. 24 hours of Roseanne Barr's sitcom from the late 80s into the 90s.

I love the original Roseanne. Never followed it. 24 hours of the Big Bang Theory. One of our listeners says that never saw it. 24 hours of Star Trek. Oh, here's another one that you'd like that. Which version? Well, you know, not the, I mean, I liked the original too, but probably all of us.

The bald guy? Didn't you like the bald guy? Yeah, of course. What was his name? Patrick Stewart. You liked that version maybe more than any of the others? Probably. All right, they got a 24-hour Star Trek channel.

At least one of our listeners does. Here's another one that I do have. Okay. Three Stooges. I have a 24-hour Three Stooges channel. And I love the Three Stooges. Me too. Specifically, I got nothing against Shemp.

I don't. But Larry Moe and Curley just, it's amazing how still to this day I find them so funny. And a lot of folks have been texting in with smart-ass comments about 24-hour porn. I don't have that option. With the cheaterbox, you cheaterbox people, do you get 24 hours of porn movies? I'm sure. Let's see what they say.

You know for sure? Are there TV channels with porn on it? I mean, with these cheater boxes, I'm assuming you can probably easily find some porn. Here we got. I mean, and again, the texts are coming in. Baywatch, that 70s show, cheers. Yes, we covered that. My question is, is there a 24-hour real porno channel

on this cheater box? Or maybe even more than one of them? Because I don't know for sure. Because the Playboy channel, that's not porn, right? And don't they have like a... I'm talking about just straight up movies. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not talking about... Playboy channel has, you know, little podcasts and, you know, long boring...

Is this a spice channel? still a thing? I don't know. And I never saw anything other than scrambled pictures. Was that actual porn or kind of like... The Spice Channel? Yeah. Oh yeah, that was real.

So it wasn't like Skinimax or HBO stuff? Well, I mean, good question. I think there were two versions of the Spice Channel back in the day where it was just kind of softcore and then they had the real deal stuff as well. But this was a long time ago. Yeah, Playboy Channel would have, like I said, little adult-themed radio shows. Yeah, talk shows. And boring.

Listen, when I had a vehicle that they, you know, every once in a while, satellite will give you a free preview. And I was listening to the Playboy channel. I was curious what it was. It was so stupid. It was. It was. It was. I had a little experience with the Playboy radio show and whatnot. So let me see. Are the texts coming in? Okay. Holy smokes. Now here's a listener who says there are, I don't know what system he has.

I was asking directly about this newfangled cheater box. Some are saying yes or some are saying no. One guy here says he's got a setup with 80 different porn channels all day long. Oh my God. So, I mean, again, it depends on what you have. So it sounds like some of you do and some of you don't. 24. I had that for a while when I had an old, old school cheaterbox in the mid-90s.

I had 24-hour porno, hardcore porno. And it didn't do me any favors. It just smooth, warm me out. Here's a person that says, maybe I shouldn't say their name. But they get any channel, any time, and movies before they're even released. His kids were watching Toy Story 5 a month ago. Some of this stuff has got to be so illegal, right? Oh, 100%.

Very. Very illegal. Yeah, I had the 24-hour porn on my old cheaterbox in the 90s, and it didn't do me any favors. I mean, I told you the story where I got caught. He took a nap by my wife's friend. And not caught in the sense that I was molesting myself. I would just come home from work and just put on the porno channel and fall asleep. Usually there was no molestation at all.

I would just like to enjoy a good porno movie as I fell off to sleep. I was fully clothed. There was no nothing disgusting going on. And I'd forgotten that my wife's best friend was coming to spend the weekend. And so she wakes me up on the couch. Oh, no. I was the only one home. She comes right into the house because my wife told her to.

when you get here, just come on in. She walks in the upstairs. No one's around. She comes downstairs. I'm sound asleep in front of a giant screen television playing some horrible, horrible graphic porno movie. That was... Until you mentioned it the first time, I didn't know people watched pornography without masturbation. I thought that was the purpose of it, and you just like to watch it as a fan of cinema. I would, I would, quite often.

I hadn't heard that. Did you guys ever heard that before? No, not really. Not before. I mean, like, I figured, I guess. You just got to grow up a little bit, that's all. Sure. He's got to grow up a little bit. I've told you guys this before, but there's a bar in New York City that they just have porn on the TVs. It's right. Nobody's whacking it. Nobody's doing anything. It's just kind of like you have a ball game on on mute in the corner and you kind of look up like, oh, look at they're doing now.

Oh, yeah, Stickies, right? Is that the name of that place? I can't remember the name. My buddy just refers to it as the porno bar. Yeah, and then I mentioned that I have a friend who went to Texas. and walked into a bar that played 24, well, not 24, but all they played on the televisions was hardcore. Okay, so some folks might judge you by your choice of television entertainment. I know they judge you, Josh, for your choices. Oh, they talk about you.

Oh, do they really? Yeah, they do. Fakers. What about this now? It says here, well, let me ask you a question first. Have you ever glanced at someone's cellular telephone let's say maybe they put it down on the bar and you silently judge them for their background image.

No, I mind my own business, I guess. Yeah, no, I guess I've never judged. I've noticed it. I thought like, oh, cute, but. Maybe a photo of their cat or something along those lines. A new survey says 14% of people admit that they secretly judge people based on their phone background. I guess I've probably judged, like, my parents for having, like, just like the default one.

Sure. Well, what do you have right now? If you don't mind spilling the beans, this is personal stuff. I have my baby. Your baby? Yeah, it's being cute. Okay, there he is.

Yeah, a little baby. He's drooling all over himself. I have like a variety of backgrounds. On iPhone, you can like, it's really cool. You can choose, like, what one you want to use. Each day you can switch it if you like. Yeah, like I have one for like moody weather.

It's like a picture of the city. Oh, Josh, have you seen the... I have a picture of my dog. You have choices. Yeah, I have one for deer hunting weekend. Specifically deer hunting weekend. I can't make it out. What is it?

It's a bunch of like little emoji deer and emoji tents and emoji trees. Super lame. I'm lame. I'm sorry. You get into a tent when you go deer hunting? No, it's just like the vibe. The vibe of the screen saver. Hoping on a space heater in that some bitch.

Josh, what do you have as your screensaver? What do they call it again? Phone, I said it a minute ago. Background, wallpaper. Background, phone background. Dana going potty. Oh, nice. I'm glad you put the little.

photos are good use. Actually, I don't even want to say because Ashley made fun of it. I bet it's lame. It's just the default one. My God, dude. What do I need? Have some spice in your life. Show it to me. Show it to me. It's just a regular one with some apps on there. Oh, it's got your apps in the background. You should at least do the cool

because there's some that are on the iPhone, especially the one you got, Josh, the iPhone you got. You should do one of like the ones that move. They have like motion wallpapers and all that cool stuff now. I guess I'm not looking at my wallpaper enough Okay, now here's the thing. Josh and I are in the same boat.

I don't have anything except just... Yeah, that is... What do you call this? Just the standard thing? That's like what comes on the phone. Yeah. I mean, it's just... Okay, that's what you call.

Mm-hmm. You get to say that's the thing, Josh, is we're being judged for that as well. Yeah, I know. That's what Ashley was saying. Oh, she did on us. So I guess I do judge, yeah. Yeah. If it's plain. She said she judges her parents for exactly what you and I do.

Yeah, you know, a lot of times actually you say you don't judge, but you actually judge. I know. A lot of times you say you don't yuck anybody's yumb, but you yuck a lot of people. I do be yuck in people's yums. So just say you keep your eye on your own bobber, but you do look at other people's bobbers. You're always looking at bobbers. She's a bobber checker. Now, okay.

Dana, I bet I can guess you're a screensaver. Yeah, go ahead. It's that dog. No, it's not, actually. It's a soccer player. It's a soccer stadium that I visited it in 2014. Oh, you're in the picture, right? No, I'm not in the picture.

It's just of the stadium. I've always wanted to go there. I got to see it once. And my wife makes fun of me, actually, because her background is a picture of our wedding with the dog, aforementioned dog Charlie. And she goes, yeah, my wallpaper's us at her wedding. Yours is at a soccer stadium you visited 14 years ago.

Here's the deal. Usually it's the younger people who are going to judge you for your cell phone background. And that makes sense because younger people think of a cell phone as so much more important than we owe their phone. folks. The cell phones mean everything to the young people. But they do most of the judging. And yeah, even if you don't have a damn thing like Cubby and I, they'll go after you.

I don't know how to make a picture happen on the front of my cell phone. So maybe if I knew how, I would put, I don't know, what I put up there, Joe. Probably dirty. Maybe put my dog up there. I used to have pictures of my older kids on here and then my younger kid was wondering why I have no pictures of mine. because I don't know if we're going to keep them yet. That's a big commitment. Don't you say the same thing about the tattoo?

You don't have a tattoo for the younger kid yet because you're not sure? I just got, yeah, I told them that tattoos are a big commitment. That's like something the rest of your life you're going to have. Right. You only have to deal with him until he's 18. The tattoo's going to be there for life. Yeah, I had the other kids on there, but not him for a long time. I mean, it's just like last year I got it done.

So now you have all of the children? Yeah, I've got them all on here now. In case I ever forget their names. You don't have to. Friggin, Ashley. What did she do? Well, she says she doesn't judge, but she does. I'm sorry.

We were talking about how there's a segment of society who will judge us on our cell phone background. You know, when you turn the pig on, what are you looking at right away? What's the front picture of? There's a segment of society who will judge you for that, like Ashley. So here are the most popular background images for, people, the most popular. Family members, of course, especially children.

19% of us have that. Boy, if my cousin tried that, he'd have to get a bigger phone. He'd make a collage. Bring out a tablet instead. He'd have to get a bigger phone if he would deport all of his children. Nature and Landscapes comes in second most common, Josh. Nature and landscapes. Look, kids, it's the Grand Canyon.

I've had that before, yeah. I would assume, I know it's not. on the list later, but I would assume pets would be number two. Yeah. More so than nature and landscapes. The next most common background image? Personal photos or memories. Hey, here's me.

Minutes after I lost my virginity. I don't know. There was this weird era. I think it was like middle school or maybe even some of high school where some people would make their phone background themselves. like a selfie. Oh, yeah? I always thought that was really, really weird.

Like not doing something cool, just themselves. Yeah, and I think it was like in case somebody else, like, grabbed their phone, they'd be like, oh, yeah, wow, nice picture. Personal photos or memories. Next up, there you go, cubby pets. Hey, look, it's my dog. Yeah, I see that quite often. 10% of us put our dogs and cats and such into the mix as our scrubs.

as our screensaver, background image, whatever it's called. Ooh, next up, they list it as a romantic partner. Sure, the side piece. Why not? Put him or her on your cell phone. Yeah, I'm my husband's background. I'm sorry? I am my husband's background.

Oh, yeah? It makes me feel pretty good. And then the next most common would be, like your favorite pop culture character movie television show musical act

I mean a few folks text that in please ask me about the Twilight series you know whatever you have your favorite movie or television show or band up there

and again like I was saying you would think that having a default background just whatever the phone came with you would think that that would save you from judgment, but that's not the case. Josh and I have

Dick Tracy. We have nothing as our screensaver. This is what they're saying about us, Josh, if we don't have anything up there. They're saying that we are boring. We are uninspired or unengaged and lack the ability

to be expressive or creative. All right. It makes sense for Nick not to have one because I bet you couldn't figure out how. But Josh, I'm kind of surprised you don't have a picture of the kids or the dogs or something. I have before. I don't know. I just kind of gets in the way and I like just kind of things more clean and plain.

Oh, yeah. I mean, look at the walls of my house. I'm surprised you didn't just like take a picture from Google of just like blank white paper and just use that as your screen sauer. You know what? That's kind of interesting actually. Yeah, they say we're uninspired, we're unengaged and we have no ability to be

creative. Now, I mean, I used to have a picture of a computer program I like to use on the back and I thought I better take that off because people are going to think I'm a psychopath. You had a picture of a computer program? Like a screenshot of it being used, you know? I don't even know what the hell that means, but I like the spirit behind it. I do.

I do. Now, there are others who aren't being so mean to those who have no screensaver. There are others are saying that we're just practical. We are minimalists. That's how I think I am. We don't want to clutter our screen with distractions. or we look at our cellular telephone as purely a tool and not as an extension of your personality. That makes sense.

Yeah, I don't have like a pop socket or a funny case or any stickers on it or anything. Like my wife does not own a water bottle that doesn't, it's not covered in stickers. Oh, really? I always think that's cool when people do that. And I've been gifted a few water bottles where like people have already put stickers on them. It makes me feel cool. I don't know. I like that look. Oh, yeah, you do have a bunch of stickers on that.

Yeah, I can't, I feel bad. I cannot remember who gave this to me. It was a listener. Thank you. I have stickers on the back of my laptop and a friend saw once. He goes, oh, oh, you 16 or something? That's funny. I made the decision. I had like a bunch of stickers, Dana, and I was going to put them all over my laptop. And I made the decision that the only ones I can put on there are from like places I've traveled. Okay. Yeah, I was like, I was going to be.

put like a vans a sticker on there and stuff and I thought all right no I'm not 18 thrasher magazine yeah fans dozy I remember my dad getting mad at me because when I mean I bought the car on my own for 400 bucks I had a car and I was just nothing about bumper stickers on the back you did it you didn't buy it yeah and so my dad were you telling me about that furious with me that he thought it was stupid didn't understand why I want to put all that on there I never got into the bumper sticker thing but you went for it huh big time my daughter's Four or two was covered in bumper stickers at my house. I heard of my bedroom.

Oh, expressing. But I had to share it with my brother and my cousin, so all of us had different stickers on. You wanted everyone in the house to know your favorite bands and your favorite. It's funny you bring that up. I have one sticker on my home. Is it lab top or laptop? Labtop. L-A-B-Lab.

I have one sticker on my laptop computer at home. You know what it says? I don't even know why I put it there Want to know what it says? I voted You just had nowhere else to put it I thought I'll put it right there I got handed one of those stickers at the voting

Hut And I came home I have no idea why it's so So it wasn't sarcastic you actually did vote I did You're so weird That is funny I voted me

I did it all by myself I'm thinking if I was at your house I saw that. I'd be like, why? What's that about? It doesn't really fit my character. Because I tried it once. I did. I tried voting once. Man loves democracy. Dusty Blades, Jesus said, my screensaver says, nosy little effer, aren't you?

So when he sets it on bars up, people see that. Oh, funny. Yeah, never look at anybody's phone or anything. I should start doing that so I can judge people. For democracy, any man would give his only begotten son. What music video before we go? 651-9-9-9-933-93 what music video Josh do you know that one we might run out of time it sounds like an iron maiden type thing ooh you're close it's a heavy metal band

then it could also since they're speaking it could also be a mega death thing dude you're now you're really close now you're really frigging close let's see if anyone gets it 651 989 what music video does an older man with a mustache say to a little boy for democracy any man would give his only begotten son Well, we got a close guess. Someone guessed two. Oh, is it one? Well, you're close.

The answer is one by Metallica. Oh, yeah, the whole video with the blowing up and the guy in his arms and legs. I don't remember the speech. It's a weird fact. That's a great video. Weird fact to end the show on. But I decided to go in that direction. And you're right, that is a great video.

That's the one that just, I mean, that blew MTV out of the water when they. A lot of people say it's one of the best videos of all time. It is. It's dark. It's terrible. We got to go. I love that somebody wrote two. I know.

Yeah. Were they joking around? They were hoping that close enough. Did they make a sequel? Because they've done that before with the unforgiven and the unforgivated. Maybe there was a second one. I missed it. Dog grooming, anal gland expressing,

Jesus wants to say happy 9th anniversary to her husband, Rich, who she says has the biggest heart and the best equipment to get the job done. Happy birthday to Caleb from your boy, Mike. 93X. Ah, air conditioning. The Love of My Life Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs, podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer

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