93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Pasta La Vista

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

Originally Aired January 28, 2026: The bears are coming for you. This is fine, officer. Everything you wanna know about friction maxing.   Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer and I think you should too. An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well.

Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. The comfort you deserves is 1930. The 93X-ha-ha-ha-assed morning show. Ninety-three. Ah, crap. Good morning.

I just got to Google something quickly here. How to start a radio show when you've never personally done it. You're doing great so far. No, I'm not. The first thing it says is make sure you Google before the mics go live. Have you really never started one? No. Weird.

Oh. Google also recommends to start a radio show when you've never done it to get your nervous peas out of the way, and I failed that as well. Oh, man, you've got to go already, huh? Yeah, my eyes are watering. Ashley, get the trash can. I'm old for two after skipping number one. Hello, thanks for listening live to the quarter-assed morning show, or checking out the podcast

if that's what you're doing. We apologize for not being here yesterday. There's some sort of bug going around our petri dish of studios here. It kept us all off air yesterday. And unfortunately, it still has radio Jesus not feeling well today. So it's just us radio disciples this month. So good morning, sick people. I don't take joy when somebody gets sick,

but I do kind of get a kick out of when it's Nick that it gets sick because he gives the three of us so much crap anytime that we get sick. You know what I mean? Well, you know, I guess yes and no. It's kind of fun when your coworkers are sounding like garters. garbage and I know none of us are feeling that great, but it seems like you guys are doing a little better than yesterday. Yeah, I'm surviving. Oh, you know.

I got hot flashes all last night. Uh-oh. You're too young for menopause. But that's usually like a good thing, right? It means it's like leaving your body. You're asking Josh and I about hot flashes. Well, no, I know what you mean because I had that yesterday too where it's like you're hot, cold and sweaty at the same time. Yeah, but I'm freezing right now, so I'm not really having that great of a time.

I'm so cold. It's so cold. Well, you know, it's only been a handful of times that Nick and I have not done a show together for one reason or another, maybe two times in 30 years. But with everything going on around town, we wanted to be here, and it means a lot to have you here with us. We hope you stick with us. We're definitely going to do the best we can. I should mention, before we get too far into the show, we have a special guest in studio, which hopefully this person can chime in from time to time. ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Barry White.

Good morning, Barry. Is that you, Cubby? And Nick, unfortunately, he can't, he won't be able to talk as much as usual because his voice is like kicking his butt. Or at all. Yeah. It sounds so cool.

And that's what I was going to mention. Ashley, one of the first things she said is, you sound so cool. And Nick's like, what do you mean? I always sound cool. But yeah, he has this extra sexy phone operator voice today. Yeah, I think the female listeners are going to be texting in soon here. Oh, I'm not checking text today. I can tell you that for sure.

There's not going to be much to respond to on my end. I'm cooked. Truthfully, though, I mean... You think you're cold, Ashley. I'm minutes from death. Do you need a blanket? I think I have a blanket in my car. I'm so cold. That's not good.

Don't die. Take it away, Cubby. No, it means a lot that you came in. Truthfully, I was praising and praising. He told me to shut up because obviously the nerves have kicked in, and it was cool you came in for moral support. But, you know, Dana, since Nick's voice won't let him shoot it down, maybe you could run us through the plot lines of every Fast and Furious movie

in the entire franchise. Now's your chance. I was thinking that exact same thing. I'm like, do we kick a man while he's down? He's sitting in studio. Think of the things we could talk about. favorite Adam Sandler movies Fast and Furious

The plot breakdown of Shorzy Oh we can talk about cooking Cooking really in depth Our favorite Weed? Yeah weed Food or favorite restaurants we like to go to I mean the list is endless

Of things we could get into today But I feel bad that he's sitting here And I have to listen to it No no guys I need him here For moral support I know you do So that's why I'm not going to get into A detailed breakdown of Fast and Furious

Cover whatever you want to cover I'm watching porn I can see the reflection in your glasses. Ashley definitely could chime in on that topic. Yeah. I'm not sure what exactly the evil that was going around the show yesterday, but whatever it was, it can't be as bad as what happened with Dirty Mike and the boys from the other guys. Whatever they were passing around in that Prius, is not what Will Ferrell was driving?

Yeah, well, sure was. So I mentioned this on Monday. I watched some other guys bloopers and outtakes over the weekend. and a couple of them were pretty good, especially when they ran through some possible descriptions, that orgy mess they left behind. So I put some of those together. Shoot, I wish, hopefully Nick can chime in a little bit

because I know he likes it too. But here's some of the bloopers that they were running through ideas of what they could say after they found stuff in the car. Well, here she is. I left her under an overpass. The night. You find anything? Yeah.

We found a lot of stuff. We found a snake that killed himself. Some inner city girls came by and... They don't need to go on. No, I'm gonna tell you, they got their periods for the first time all over the back seat. Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along and gave birth on the floor.

Placenta blew out all over the back window there. Thought it was clam chowder. It wasn't clam chowder. Thought it was yogurt. Was not yogurt. We found a human penis in an eel's mouth. In the car? Yeah.

How'd that get in there? I'm asking you. Don't look at me like... From bodily fluid and hair samples, we determined that a bunch of old homeless dudes had an orgy in the car. Thanks for the F-Shack. Love dirty Mike and the boys.

You know what it's called when they do that in here? It's called a dirt fight. It's called a suit kitchen. Stack and Jack, because they lie down, and they can just jerk each other off. I've never seen so many fluids. And I'm pretty sure it's an infestation of either pubic lice or chiggers. We looked it up in a book, but nobody could figure it out.

You know what I did last night? I drank a lava lamp and I f*** a German Shepherd. Is that awful or disgusting? Or is that just love? It's one of the worst things I've ever heard. You like putting your D in someone's E? I don't follow you at all. You're fucking someone's ear.

No. I'll put my foot in your ass, but I think you'll like it. You're damn right, we will. How do you come up with that stuff on the fly? That was brilliant. That's too much all it was. I know. Yeah, you're right.

You kind of needed a little pause in between some of those just for it to register what exactly happened. I'll tell you what, you get in that car. You're going to get an STD before you could fast. and your seatbelt. Yeah, Dirty Mike and the Boys, they had a good time in there. There's no doubt about it. It's inspirational.

It gave me some ideas because, Dana, you got yourself a new ride. I did. And you live in an area where Dirty Mike and the Boys could break in. I do. I live in Minneapolis. I'm definitely at risk of somebody like Dirty Mike in the Boys, for sure.

And I'm really hoping that I don't come out to some clam chowder that might be yogurt that's actually a raccoon placenta on my back windshield. Well, you know, Nick has horrible, horrible clam chowder story. Longtime listeners are very familiar with. So when I hear clam chowder, that's exactly what I think of.

Dana, did you figure out a name for your new car? I know you asked Facebook for some help. Oh, you did? Yeah. I like naming cars. Do you want to know what my husband's suggestion was? I remember reading. It was hilarious.

What was it? The baby back bitchmobile. Yeah, yeah, that's good. The Baby Back Bitchmobile. Now, it's Bill's Blue, Buffalo Bill's Blue. Was that on purpose? Well, I had a friend of mine who knows a lot more about cars than I do, because if you listen to this show or even if you know anything about me,

you can greatly assume that I know nothing about cars. I'm not the guy out there wrenching or changing my own oil. So I had a friend who's good at car shopping kind of look around for some that she thought I might like, and she picked that one specifically because it was Bill's Blue. And, yeah, it worked out well that way. Well, yeah, and you already have a blue car, or well, your last vehicle was. Yeah. That's why I wonder for some.

Yeah, that's why I thought maybe it was on purpose. Yeah, my last car was on its very, very last legs. It was actually almost, I mean, no, it was beyond embarrassing. The car I was driving around. It was a 2010 Ford Fusion rusting out the bottom completely. And I traded it in when I bought my new car yesterday. And they went and looked at it, and they came back with an offer and they said, well, here's the good news. You know, obviously the car is in poor shape.

You admitted to that. we can give you $1,000 for it. I go, hey, that's wonderful, better than nothing. And they go, and the reason we can give you $1,000 is because in January, right now, we're running a special where we tack on $1,000 to any trade-in. The car was worth nothing. But they were able to give me $1,000 for it just because of their January promotion. Oh, that's nice.

That's pretty good. No, I was impressed. I honestly thought that I was going to have to pay them to take it off my hands. What kind of interior do you have? I was just wondering. Leather? Oh, that's nice. Do you, I'm sorry, I don't mean to keep going on a new car, but do you have heated seats?

Yeah, no, it's funny. I feel like, you know when an old person gets like some new technology and they're like, well, there's new smartphone, I can look up the weather. I was bragging about all these features it has that I came to realize once talking to my wife have been standard in cars for many, many years now. I'm so happy for you, Dana. You know, it's never a great moment when they offer you money for your trade-in. It's always way less than you assume it's going to be.

And so you kind of lucked out on that. Yeah. Well, the thing is, so he showed me the sheet of paper that they used, and they go by, like, a deduction here, there. You know, there's this wrong with it, this wrong with it. And they take money off of what they would offer you. And it got down to the point where they would have offered me negative $2,900. Like, I would have had to have paid them to take the car off my hands at that point because of how many things were wrong with it. So you mentioned the technology.

Do you guys, if you guys liked, I mean, I love that kind of stuff. I love learning about it. I love just, you know, I watch all these geeky videos on it, even if it's not something I'm really into. And do you guys do anything with AI? Every once in a while, yeah. I've been using it a lot more ever since I had my son. I always ask it questions.

And it tries to call me down. Thank God I'm still here. Thank God I'm still here. She's raising her child with AI, Nick. Do I do anything with AI? I mean, all the time. What would you like to know? Well, there's a turn.

You know, there's kind of a backlash against it. I mean, no surprise. Yeah. Meaning, like, I'm sure you've seen it. Some people are very against it. Other people are embracing it. It does seem like I have a note-taking app that now has AI built in, and I haven't really experimented with it.

It seems like a lot of apps are coming with some AI, but there's a term called friction maxing. You know, there's one of the latest new terms, raw dogging for a while was the thing where, Why'd they have to use that? It's a different rod dog and than I grew up with. But where you, you know, if you're on a long flight or something like that, you bring nothing. Not even a book like we used to bring.

Like nothing, nothing. That would actually creep me out if I saw somebody just sitting there for like a four-hour flight, just looking ahead, not doing anything. I would assume terrorists. Yeah, I would assume they're up to something. I would assume they know this is going to be a short flight because they're taking this sucker down. I definitely, you're right. You'd look at somebody and think,

they're up to something. Nobody doesn't have a switch or an iPad or something going on on a flight. So friction maxing, the idea is that all the technology we're using AI, things like that, is making people depressed. We're not connecting with people like we used to. And I would say that's certainly true. I mean, you know, customer service, they push you to chats and things like that. Didn't you get fooled by one where you thought you were talking to like a really nice customer service representative?

Dana, why you got to bring that up? No, I'm glad you did. You're right. I feel like a fool. I did mention this on the year once. It's car related. I had to bring my car in to get fixed. And so it was the same thing.

The dealership, they pushed you to the, like, a text. And so I'm texting with this person. And I know the general manager of the store, or I should say the new car sales manager of the store. And I had said, you know, when I got there, I'm like, dude, whoever your customer services is probably the best customer service I've ever had. You know, I'm like, please pass that along to her. And he's like, what are you talking about? Like, well, the person that you text with the get in, he's like, that's AI. He's like, that's a chat bot.

You were chatting with T-1,000. And you were falling in love. Oh, it was like, honestly, it was such a pleasant experience. And so, I mean, he's like basically getting some of his coworkers around. Like, this idiot thought he was talking to a real person. Right. But they had a name. It was like Zoe or something like that.

I don't know. Josh was probably thinking that they were so nice. You were going to bring them a gift card or something. I wanted to make sure they got the praise I thought they deserved. You're so sweet for that. And it turns out, you know, I was fooled by a computer. So, yes, friction maxing, a new trend, an anti-tech trend. And they say they want people to not necessarily give up technology, but rely on it less.

So things like, you know, a microwave or a dishwasher, things that have been around for a while, like those types of conveniences. They think those are cool. but some of the newer conveniences are making life a little too easy, and we need more challenges. And for some people, a challenge is just talking to folks. And yesterday I had an experience. Our old friend, Janelle Klein, called me. Yeah, nice.

And we've been kind of trading texts and trying to get an opportunity to talk to each other on the phone. And so we had a really nice conversation. But she even said, she's like, hey, I was going to text you this, but I figured maybe I'll just call because, you know, I wanted to talk to you. And, but then I thought, oh, you might look at the phone and go, oh, no, a phone call. And that's kind of how it is. So I understand a little bit.

It is tough to get people on the phone. Yeah. I mean, there's even people in this building where I've called and they're like, yeah, man, like, why'd you actually call? Why don't you email or text or something like that? I still like talking on the phone. Yeah, I don't mind when people call me. It's usually right to the point. I hate when something like over text message takes like 20,

you text messages back and forth when you could just have a two-minute conversation. That's how I feel. I know, like Nick and I talk about that too, where sometimes you could get that over in just a minute or, well, not if you're on the phone with me necessarily. Like a person that's not going to keep you there. Yeah, you like to let it linger, Josh. Well, yeah, I like to talk to people. And so, yeah, certainly, I understand, like, if I call someone, they might go, I don't get time

for this. I can't answer the phone. You're one of those people. That's so sad. Yeah, I know. It is sad. I raw dog all my airplane rides. Do you really?

Yeah, I do nothing. You have to focus on not dying, huh? Is that what it is, kind of the fear of flying? Yes, my theory is, if I'm not paying attention to every single sound and every single move that that airplane makes, something will go wrong. I need to be paying attention the entire time. So I raw dog the balls off of every airplane ride that I take. Do you have any, like, superstitions?

a lot of words for this, Brett. Okay, sorry. I'm kidding. Go ahead. Go ahead. Like anything you have to do before you get on a plane or not do?

No. Except for take drugs and... 30 beers? That was the old Nick. I used to take a lot of drugs and alcohol before airplane rides. And it worked beautifully until the incident.

Oh, gosh. You did have a couple of incidents. I think that would freak even the most comfortable fire. Our longtime listeners know all about that incident. Yeah. Yeah, that's, I mean, you saved the dog's life. Now, if you, uh, if you'll, excuse me, the nurse is waving me in. And I noticed she kind of, she's got, she's not as buttoned as she was before this.

A little more cleavid showing. Looks like more of a Halloween costume than an official nurse costume. Well, I thought of you, Dana, yesterday, because, um, and I know this stuff is ridiculous, but I definitely am, uh, I don't know if super, I don't know what the word is, but like, I have to have a routine. Mm-hmm. And if I'm outside of that routine, it throws me off and I get, I kind of feel like something bad will happen sometimes.

Sure. And so like I lay my clothes out, which is usually the jeans I've been wearing for several months in the winter. Super adorable. Like a kid getting ready for the first day of school. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That was always so stressful.

I do that every night and then just put my socks next to it. Well, so Monday night, you know, I know none of us were really feeling well, especially Nick and Ashley. Monday night I set them out and I'm like, oh my gosh, I put them on the, the wrong side. Gene's going the right. Sox's going to the left. I'm like, I'm going to have a crappy show tomorrow. Like, I'm going to suck tomorrow more than usual. I started to think that. And all of a sudden, like, overnight, I've had, like, it's, I'm an adult, but I get ear infections lately. It's ridiculous. And so it, like, sank down into my vocal core or my sinuses. I had my

Michael J. Fox voice I get when I'm sick. I'm like, oh, it got me. I knew it. And then all of a sudden, I looked at my phone and I see Nick text said, dude, I can't come in, you know, I'm miserable. And I knew he was feeling bad on Monday. Yeah, he mentioned something that he felt like he was coming down with something. Yeah, it seemed fine on Monday, but obviously it got worse. And but you could tell, like, you could, you know, you tell something was coming. And then Ashley texts, I'm on my way here and I get to the station.

Ashley texts. I'm like, gosh, you know, I barely have a voice. So what are we going to do here? and then I called Dana and I couldn't get hold to Dana and I thought Dana passed away briefly I wondered what happened so I you probably thought like you know your house was burning down I called you like six times finally got a hold of him and he's like yeah dude I'm not feeling good I'm not feeling well either I'm like well okay everyone's dying yeah it got everybody it got absolutely everybody yes right yeah I was

miserable I was laying there and I feel I was basically waiting until the very last second that I could lay in bed until I could you know I had to get in the car and go to work. And then that's when I finally looked at my phone and saw that Josh was been calling and calling and calling finally got a hold of you. You're like, yeah, dude, everyone's dead. I'm like, I'm kind of dead too. Well, yeah, I'm glad you guys were able to make it. I'm so sorry, Nick, that you're still feeling under the weather. But it means quite a bit that you would come in for some moral support because the nerves are definitely there. Yeah, you should be sleeping right now. It's just the kind of guy I am. I know. You're a very good friend.

I even called my wife and said, can you believe what he did? So thank you so much. Hope you understand. The show's going to sound different today. We're going to do the best we can. We hope our likely failure under the heavy burden of extreme anxiety doesn't cause Reddit to light us up. So please be kind if you would. Josh, what are you talking about?

The people in Reddit are always reasonable and thoughtful and caring and supportive. There's no way they would ever say anything mean about any of us. Well, jokes on them. I'm friction maxing. Yeah. So I won't even see it. You won't even see it. No, but we do got to take a break, pay some doctor bills, I guess.

Got to pay that doctor and that hot nurse, but we'll be back with stupid news in just a bit. The 93x half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimpts? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer, and I think you should too. An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special.

$45 off an AC tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. Providing the comfort you deserves since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer.

Dave Bialke. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits It's for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com.

And it spells relief for you. This isn't your average podcast. This pot is about to be crazy. I don't even know what's going to happen. This is full send. It's just like a boy's scrap. Join the party. We threw like a spontaneous party.

Out of nowhere was crazy. And we pulled off a crazy prank. Prinks, parties, and viral. culture at its wildest. Just seeing like the guys that you brought in and like seeing their different personalities and stuff. It's been entertaining, dude. This could be the greatest content build of all time, bro.

The full send podcast. Dude, let's get ready to rumble. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Let's do it. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. I thought you're just waking up. A jerkwod illness broke into the studio and it's made its way into our anuses. I don't know how viruses were.

I think you're right. It kept us home yesterday, so apologies. Again, we weren't here for you yesterday. We wanted to be, but, you know, anus bugs. Unfortunately, my work husband, thirst trap, and best friend Nick is still fighting whatever's going around. But to show what a pal he is, he surprised us and came in for some moral support and called my nerves. I'm very nervous. He's my therapist as well.

You shouldn't be nervous. You're doing great. I mean, honestly, Ashley said it earlier, Nick, you always sound awesome. But it's like, I think some people are questioning their, what they're into this morning because of how hot you sound. There have been some undies that have been ruined all right this morning. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah, people have been sliding off vinyl chairs left and right, bus drivers especially.

You know how to pick up a boy's spirits. Enough. Just get going with the show here. The sooner you spit this garbage out, the sooner we can go home. Again, I can't thank you enough. So for listeners, I know you're used to hearing Nick every morning. Please have patience with us. We're doing our best.

And you know what, historically speaking, we're not very good at this. So we're going to try. I'm going to see what the KQ folks are up to. Go cough on them. Yeah, go and fact them. Ratings. They're up to ratings. Well, I married a normally wonderful woman.

You guys have met her. But she hid from me before we got married, a very dark secret. If she doesn't dig into that snack bar within her studio apartment-sized purse or grab handfuls of car popcorn, she has car popcorn, then she gets hangary.

And quite honestly, tough to be around. If she's not digging into that purse tuna of hers that she carries around, eating car popcorn or protein bars and all that kind of stuff, she's a different person. I can relate. Your wife is the same way?

No, I mean, my wife could relate, I guess. but I know what I'm like when I get that way too. And I know when it's time to pull over to get a gas station hot dog off the rollers. Yeah, I get pretty pissy. I think that's normal to get, you know? Put you in a bad mood. I don't, but I'm guessing it's just because I eat all the time. Sure.

So I don't let myself get to the point where I'm going to be a jerk to be around. Thankfully, though, my wife, and it sounds like you guys to pull back before you pull the trigger, which is not the case in our first stupid news story. after a woman became upset with a Kentucky man for eating snacks she brought for her kids, the gentleman demonstrated his passion for stealing from the bellies of children by putting around through her arm. Oh. The victim's aunt discovered 57-year-old Kenneth Beals eating the snacks

and told her niece the food meant for her children was gone. As Beals was heading out, the woman ran into the man, and the two got into it as they crossed paths, as people do. When police asked the woman what happened, she said Beals pulled a gun after she questioned him about whether he'd eaten the snack she brought for her children. The report states, Beals responded, yes, I ate your snack, and it was good. Then he produced a gunchable and fired a shot. What officers questioned Beals later, he said of the shooting, I have no regrets. Not one.

You couldn't think of one regret. What kind of snack was it? They must say. They didn't say. They didn't say. see how old the kids were, and that obviously would point us in the right direction. Kid snacks are so good. They always get the good stuff. It's always like Pirates Booty and those gummy, not gummy bears, but fruit snacks.

Yeah. Oh, gosh. Or those little applesauce things that they suck out of it, you know? I don't like those weird me out. Well, you guys know this. I don't like certain textures. Applesauce is one of those textures, and the fact that you put it in like this little pouch that you can suck it out of makes it worse. Dana, you got a new car. Yeah. I've seen like, and it's not a, a minivan, but I've seen some minivans that have a built-in vacuum, which what a genius idea. Oh, my God. That would be so cool. Essentially, like, little Cheerios are probably clogging those things left and right.

I've been in Friends cars where it was 90% Cheerios. Like, in the back seat, you're just crunching on Cheerios. Like, knee-deep in Cheerios trying to get into, like, the backseat of this minivan. Oh, gosh, I'm not looking forward to that stage of my life. Oh, it's going to get there. No matter what you do, and everything's going to be sticky. every substance it's just going to be disgusting

I hate sticky you're not going to figure it out where'd this come from so like my wife she's almost I sounded like Borat there you did almost a middle-aged woman

and like if when I get home you know she's at work and there's just food where her car used to be stuff spills out it's like a trail of food yeah between her and my son

there's just and I keep telling her like you know we've had infestations of mice before. And I'm not a bug guy. She has to kill the bugs. I'm that much of a man. Mice I can handle, but she can't.

We had them. It was really, really bad. Oh, I'm sorry. And she wanted to move, basically. Just burned the host down and start over. Dana, there's like some vent tube, and I apologize to HVAC folks. I'm going to slaughter the terminology, but it's basically like kind of a, it looks like a garbage bag tube that kind of runs through our basement.

like a utility room. Yeah, okay. I can picture. I think it's for air. I'm not sure what it does. But I noticed it was sagging once quite heavily. I'm like, oh, no. I'll just kind of push that up there.

And I put my hand on it. It ripped right through. And I was just covered in mouse feces and urine and like grass clippings and all kinds of stuff. It was absolutely disgusting. But I couldn't tell my wife because I thought, uh-oh, she's going to call Lindahl and put this thing up for sale. Yeah, I would have wanted to sell immediately. Oh, that gives me like a, ah, I don't like that. That's hard to think of.

I started watching movies about arson and try to figure out the best way to do it without having to Google it so there wasn't a track, you know? Probably not Googling it would be a good track. No, that's what I mean. That's why I'd watch like Backdraft and other movies about arson to try to figure out the best way to do it where I could get away with it. Yeah, they look at your streaming history. Don't bring up Backdraft in front of Nick. I know. I shouldn't have done that. Yeah, although I did really enjoy that movie.

But that part with the whispering Donald Sutherland did the fire look at you think. That was really stupid. Speaking of Borod, you mentioned, you kind of sounded like, my wife, we had talked about it last week. And we were playing clips. We were having such a great time laughing about it. And I realized I hadn't seen that movie in probably a decade or so. So my wife and I pulled it up on Friday night. And we laughed our asses off like we were seeing it for the very first time.

So good. It holds up so well. You sent me a screenshot of the TV. And he looked so young. compared to, you know, what you see now. I forget that the movie came out when I was in college. That was 20 years ago now. Came out that long ago?

Oh, Ashley, you're too young to say that. It came out that long ago. Luckily, this woman was not hurt too much. She's got a new hole in her arm, but outside of that, she's doing okay. I think the hangarest I've ever been, and I definitely deserved to get shot, was at the state fair. We had to go, the state show I was working at, we had to do our show in the morning. Picture how miserable this would be, you guys. had to do our show in the morning and then go straight to the state fair and stay there until

5 o'clock hanging out at the booth? 5 o'clock? Yeah. Yes. So we'd get to the station, you know, 4 in the morning, and then we would be at the state fair until 5 o'clock and we'd repeat that. I would get hammered. Oh.

Yeah, you'd be a liability for the radio station. I would make it so that they never made us stay there until 5 ever again. But here's the thing, though. It's smart. Yeah, that's a good point. In so much trouble that they're like, well, we can't trust. rush her out there anymore. But I was getting married for the first time the week after the state fair, the Saturday

after the state fair. And I had lost a bunch of weight and I had gotten a fitted suit, you know, to wear. So I couldn't just gorge food like everybody else at the state fair. So I was just hungry and miserable, like eating almonds that I brought into the state fair while my radio partners at the time were just crushing hot dogs and cheese on the stick. And I was so angry about having to be there and so hungry that I wouldn't have blamed them if they would have just take me out to the ye old, what's that lock, right called? Yeah, and just drown me and just shoved me underwater and just let me die.

Tana, that sounds absolutely miserable. Good for you for not breaking, though. I mean, I would have folded immediately. Well, I knew if I broke once, actually, and had something like the dam would just burst, and I'd be all in. How long were you on a diet at this point? I had a couple months. Oh, yeah, I would have ruined all that progress.

Yeah, I know. Just could show up at your wedding, just bloated still. You broke out from all the grease you ate. Oh, the marriage didn't last. Maybe I should have gone for it. Yeah, darn it. Yeah, you could have been fat and happy. Yeah.

A Panama City woman found herself in police custody last week. After nearly transforming her roommate's pasta from El Dante to El Dunford, the dish in question was spaghetti. Her secret ingredient, bleach. Don't do that. That'll do some damage. Authority say the 63-year-old woman added bleach to leftover spaghetti, which had been left out for her. roommate, transforming a humble, reheated meal into spaghetti and bleach balls. I don't get the poisoning with bleach, because that smells so strongly.

Well, that's the thing everybody knew. Well, he was, I understand with spaghetti, I might go past the smell. Think, well, it's coming from somewhere else. Yeah. This is still spaghetti. I eat a lot of spaghetti. According to investigators, once the victim returned home, the roommate turned on the stove to reheat the spaghetti, then added the liquid to the leftovers.

The victim realized it tasted odd. but he did get four bites in, which I understand. Yeah, that's so few. I was positive once I had, we ordered some takeout. I was positive somebody tainted it with one of the worst things you can think of, but I still went through it. Still did it? It's like, I can't.

I can't turn this. You're a trooper, Josh. Yeah. And then somebody told me it was mushrooms. Okay, I hope that's what it was. Didn't smell like that. It smelled like the ocean. His wife then sampled the spaghetti and told him to stop eating

because she noticed it smelled like bleach. She saved her husband from what could have been pasta la vista for good. Police arrested the woman following the incident, though no motive was given for the poisoned pasta. So I don't know why. She just flipped out for whatever reason. For some reason, I'm focusing on the fact that they

heated up the spaghetti on the stove. You know what? I did as well. Put in the microwave. Or are they one of those weirdos, those no microwave people? Oh, you know my situation, Ashley, with my microwave. That pisses me.

I don't know your situation. It's going to piss you off, too. This really annoys, Ashley. So we live in the South Minneapolis house. It's old, but the kitchen is not all that big. So our microwave is located in the laundry room in the basement. Yeah. So there's got to go all the way down there.

What about like a dining room or something upstairs? Yeah, I mean, my wife just, she likes the clean countertop look, you know? I do understand that. It is in the basement. But it gets tricky, though, because say I want to heat up soup, and then I got to carry it up a flight of stairs to go enjoy it and, you know, eat it in the living room or a dining room. I would definitely fall. I bet you have an awesome core.

Just tightening that up to walk up without spilling the soup. That's so true. There was one time I heated up a bunch of soup. It was a spicy Italian sausage soup, you know, beef broth, very good. So it's, you know, it's brown soup. And we got a white dog. And I'm walking up the stairs with this soup. And of course, because, you know, I love to eat.

I fill that thing to the brim. It's basically like surface tension holding on. And then the dog gets excited to see me come to the stairs. So he's running down between my legs. I almost dumped this scalding hot bowl of a hot Italian soup all over our white dog. I probably would have just moved out at that point. You know, I've changed my method for soup and stuff like that as well because one of our dogs likes to lay wherever you are. You want to lay in the way.

And so sometimes he'll do that underneath the microwave. And so I've done it where I just, you know, I've had a couple of clothes. moments where I'm pulling something out of there and I nearly spilled it on him, which would have damaged our relationship, I'd imagine, had been very expensive at the vet. I spill stuff on my dogs all the time. Do you? One of my dogs right now, I don't know, I came home from work one day and he had like something on his back.

And I was like, what is this? Because he's white and like a kind of like a brownish color, but this was like, looked like peanut butter and it was all crusty and it's still there. It's been like a week. And I'm just like, what is this? What got on him? And we have no idea. Oh, I accidentally peanut buttered my dog.

Oh, this is going to say, it's not like that. It's not like that. It's not like that, Dana. So I had another white dog. Her name is Tori Joe. She was just wonderful, wonderful dog. And I had made a piece of toast with crunchy peanut butter. And it slipped off the plate and, of course, flip her right over and land just flat on her back.

So we were looking at it. We're like, okay, what do we do? So we tried to comb it out. That just made it worse. Oh, no. Bubble gum, right? It just looked like she had this long, all of a sudden, like she had a brown streak down. her back basically for a few days.

Is that a real thing? It's bubble gum, right? And peanut butter, it's supposed to get it out? Or no, peanut butter gets bubble gum out. Never mind. I'm stupid. It's going to say, wait, that doesn't make sense to me. No, I've got peanut butter and gum stuck in my dog's fur.

If you're just tuning in, unfortunately, Nick's not feeling well or his voice isn't holding out. He is here. He came in for moral support, which has been awesome. We've talked a lot about dogs. You've had dogs your whole life, Nick. Have you ever had a situation where somebody spilled a meal on a puppy? I got to hit pause on this adult movie.

I was going to say, I can't wait to check your browser history after the show. The question is what? Have you had an instance like that where we've all almost singed our dog with a soup or something? No, I don't think so. Nothing like that? My dogs have gone through some traumatic experiences, no question. But I don't think I ever spilled any food upon them. I thought there was like a, well, maybe that's different.

Your dog didn't like the fact that you were with a woman. When he pooped on the floor. Express this dislike by pooping on the floor. I used to leave my dog for way too long alone at home because I was out drinking and carrying on. But he was a very well-behaved dog. He never made any messes in the house. But he wanted to send me a message. no question, that he was tired of this, me leaving at noon

and coming home at 2 o'clock in the morning nonsense. So I brought a young lady back to the house. And the passion, Josh, the white-hot passion. Well, and I know how rare that was for you back in the day to bring just one young lady home. Right. The white-hot passion between the two of us was too much. So as soon as we got into the house,

we went to fire on each other down onto the bed, never even acknowledged the dog. And he'd been sitting there about 14 hours all by himself. And all of a sudden, in the middle of these disgusting things that we were doing, I said to the lady, I said, that wasn't you, was it? I've had that experience. This terrible stench took. over the entire bedroom.

And she said, the gal said, I was going to ask if it was you. And both of us couldn't quite figure it out. I looked down between my feet and my dog had pressed out a double-decker for the both of us, right between my feet on the carpet. And I truly believe that was his. He could have done it anywhere in the bedroom, right? He'd been hanging on to this for half a day. But I truly believe he wanted to send a message by putting it right in my wheelhouse.

100%. It must have been. There's no doubt. It must have been. Said a F you, dude. That was it. We got a text from Red Butcher, Jesus. He brings up a good point.

Nick's voice sounds like the family guy episode when Peter got sick, and it just made lowest all kinds of horny. Oh, I got to find that clip. We are getting so many more messages every time you talk. Somebody wants you to say gorilla. I can't do that. Now, they're asking me to do the Jesse thing. Oh. I would, I almost drop.

I'm dead doing that when I'm healthy. If I did that right now, you'd have to call friggin' 9-1-1. We do have a couple people saying you sound like Mike Rowe. I have no idea who that is. Oh, yeah. Oh, the Dirty Jobs guy. Yeah, you know, when Nick's been sick before, people have said that. Yeah.

I sound like Michael J. Fox. You know, and he sounds like Mike Rowe. That's not fair. I can't believe you kept people from that yesterday. Josh, you should have came in and just did some, like, commentary on the backtracks so that people could have heard your voice. I always worry it's going to be annoying. That Peter's sick voice.

from Family Guy. I love that bit too. It's a great one. Alois, I ain't feeling good. Peter, what happened to your voice? It's so deep. I think I'm sick. Well, you don't sound like yourself.

In fact, you sound kind of hot. I just throw up two chicken gyros out my nose down on the north side of the bed. Say that again. But I want you to keep talking to me in that sexy voice while we do it. Oh, my God. That was amazing. I'm going to have to crawl to.

the bathroom. Yeah, that was incredible. God, Peter, this voice of yours is really something. Huh, I can't get enough of it. Yeah, it's been pretty great. You know, I even won a deep voice contest with Joe yesterday. I heard you coming. I made myself heard. Where have you come from? I've come from where I've been. You're still riding with that mangy Polk at Fletcher? Fletcher met the long arm of the law at the wrong end of a shotgun and the deep end of a grave at the far end of a dead end road. Winner! That Lois, she's something else. She's spicy. I like Lois. Hey, Cobby, do me a favor. Send her a clip of this.

Yeah, Lois, she needs to hear that. You might get some. Send her some of this audio. Well, since we mentioned peanut butter. Peanut butter. There's a new report from Payscale.com, which says if you get a pay bump this year, there's a good chance it's because of something called the peanut butter raise. Apparently, it's a term that's been around for a while but hasn't been popularized until this year. A peanut butter raise is when a company spreads money out evenly across the staff, just like spreading out peanut butter on her bread or Ashley and Dana's dog.

I mean, that's cool, right? Any type of raise would be cool. Yeah, any raise, I mean, would you probably appreciate? I'd be fine with that. Anything, honestly, like a penny more. Let's just start off slow. A B-Dub's gift card would do the trick. That would be really awesome, actually.

Yeah, I think so, too. I'd take food gift card. Just that's my payment. I get a new food gift card every other week. That's cool, cool bonus that some people get, right? You know, or there's some pretty great gifts some people get. Perks of the job. Well, yeah, I was reading, I don't even know what the heck this person was talking about,

but the part I focused on, somebody made a tweet about their job, and they said that they get three meals a day. I was like, what? That sounds so incredible. Why don't I work somewhere where you can get, you know, free food every day? Think how much money you'd save? Oh, gosh, yeah. The last station I worked at, we had a cereal bar in the kitchen where it was kind of a picture like a continental breakfast at a hotel where they got, you know, seven or eight different dispensers of different cereals that you could, you know, crank out into a bowl.

And then for lunch, we got access to the Target Field Twins cafeteria. Oh, you were spoiled. Oh, and this wasn't just your standard, you know, make a sandwich at the sandwich bar, grab a salad of the salad bar. They would have like prime rib each day. Yeah, just the nicest food. Do they have like themed days? Oh, yes, absolutely. Every day was different.

It was just the best food I've ever eaten. I got to do it on a daily basis. Dude, that sounds like a dream. It was amazing, actually. But then I would like being at work too much. I would just hate out here all day. I never go home. Florida man, who claimed to have had only one beer,

was arrested on DUI charges Friday after he was caught driving a car while it was actively engulfed in flames. That made it easy for cops. Sweet. Doesn't he know how to do it? It's always a couple. It's never one beer.

That's not how you're supposed to do it. The Brevard County Sheriff's Office said deputies were putting out a brush fire caused by a vehicle when they spotted that vehicle in question. There he goes. Yeah. Oh, yeah, there's that flaming car. Witnesses saw Patrick Rinaldi driving as heavy smoke poured from his vehicle. He eventually stopped, but only briefly he had to change of heart and drove away again. Only this time the entire car was engulfed in flames.

The sheriff wrote, eventually he had to stop because of the fire. and when doing so, he was barely able to help his wife escape. The affidavit describes a strong odor of alcohol emitting from the vehicle and cites the driver's bloodshot watery and glassy eyes. It reads, his movements were slowed and sluggish, and he was swaying while in a staggered stance. His speech was slowed low and slurred. When deputies tried to talk to Patrick,

they realized that he had something in common with them, that neither of them knew what he was talking about. They had no clue where he was going with it. He tried to convince them he had only one beer, but the bottle of liquor, they said, was on the floor of the car, changed that. Then he refused to submit to a DUI test, but between driving down the road like Johnny Blaze from Ghost Rider and then smelling like a particular Viking receiver's luxury car on a West Coast Highway,

it was all the evidence they needed. I don't understand the line. I mean, I guess I kind of get it, but it's very obvious. that you've had more than one beer. Yeah, you've got the open bottle, you reek, your car reeks, you're driving when your car's on fire. Yeah, your car's on fire, dude. We know that you haven't only had one beer.

Yeah, either he's the dumbest person in Florida, which would be tough to do from all the stupid news stories out of it. Or he was the drunkest person, like the type of guy that might wake up married to an alligator. It's weird to hear the actual name of that state being said during the stupid news. Oh, I'm sorry, Nick, out of respect, maybe I shouldn't have said it during stupid news. You're all right, Cubby. Well, that's your thing, maybe.

You're all right. Dana, I forgot. How long do we go here usually? It's about 55-ish. Oh, 55. My God, we got 12 more minutes to Phil. Well, here's a story for you. It wasn't on fire, but a buddy definitely, when he had too much a drink admittedly, and he regrets his horribly.

He created a lot of sparks while driving home. He was driving home. He was definitely intoxicated. He was about two miles from his house. and his tire blew. And he knew he wasn't going to be able to fix it himself. And he was worried if he pulled over, you know, a cop might see him and come try to help or something.

He'd get a DUI. So he drove two miles home on just his rim. I thought something like that. Got it into his garage. Obviously the car was just a mess. Even his driveway, you could see like the indent from the rim of where he drove up into his garage. Wow.

Not a smart move. He got home, though. What do you mean? done it before? I've had like my, oh, actually. Oh, got it. So I was on my way to a golf tournament one weekend, and I ran over, there's a spot on the road that I knew about, and it was this huge pothole, and I hit it, and I could feel something

change in my car, but I thought, okay, well, if my tire was losing air, it would show up on the dash cam, or my car would start to be, you know, weird, right? it would start to pull to the right or the left. And so we eventually got to the golf tournament. It was probably like a 10 minutes, 10 minutes left in my drive. And I went and looked at my tire. And it was completely flat, like on the rim. So I was driving on the highway on the rim.

But nothing ever notified me. The driving felt, I mean, for the most part, completely normal. I'm shocked about that. I would think that'd be obvious. And then I was in. Were you drunk? No, not yet. I wasn't later.

So that part was kind of cool Because I knew I didn't have to drive home So I was like, well, now I'm going to get drunk But no, I was like an hour and a half away too So I was like gosh, darn it It was terrible Did you have to buy new rims on at that point? Yeah, just like a whole new setup.

I would think so. Yeah, I actually think my husband ended up paying though So shout out to him. Nice. I love that you took the glass half full attitude there, Ashley. You're like, you weren't bummed your cars destroyed and you're pissed. You say, hey, at least I can. can get drunk now. I'm not driving this thing home.

Yeah, you know, I just got to the tournament. I was like, I'm not about to let this ruin my day. This one might fall under the do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do category. A man in charge of keeping an eye on those breaking the law should have looked inward. A juvenile probation detention officer was charged after he dropped something at a detention facility Thursday. A bag of the devil's dandruff. Deputy said the juvenile probation department was notified by detention staff. A suspected white powdery substance was found within a secure area of the facility.

A review of camera footage showed 49-year-old Jacob Montez, a juvenile probation, again, that department officer, dropping a clear bag containing cocaine. I mean, you know, don't bring your cocaine to work, maybe. Yeah, especially that kind of work. Yeah, dude in the car. Yeah, like, be reasonable. Ashley, do you have a lot of experience being around people who are doing cocaine? Yeah.

Can you tell? Yeah, sometimes. It depends how long they've been doing it. Well, see, here's the thing. Like, I'm so oblivious to it. Like, the next day, say, after a, you know, a bachelor party or something or some big party weekend, a wedding maybe, you know, be having breakfast and somebody will say, man, so many people are doing cocaine last night. I'm like, really? I had no idea.

Yeah. You know? Like, if I, like, showed up somewhere, I might be able to get the vibe. It depends if I've talked to them. then I'd be like, all right, that dude's like on something. But I guess I don't know, like, there's like a 50-50 chance I'm right. Yeah, see, I'm completely oblivious to the fact that when it's been done in my presence. I'm like, really?

I had no idea. I just thought they're happy and having a good time. I do remember one time it was like the first time ever the people with people I was with were doing cocaine. And one of them was my boyfriend at the time. And he became the most annoying and sufferable person I've ever been around. Just hyped up. He would not shut up. I was like, dude, stop.

talking. I just want to break. Was he a regular user? No, no. It was just like a, it was a situational thing. But it annoyed me. Yeah, I could see why. I'm the worst. Nick's very good at it. He'll be like, that person's on this or that. I am not. Maybe just because I grew up pretty sheltered. There was a woman that we used to work with, she's 20 some years ago.

And she carried around like this little, you know, like those, in the old movies, you might see a fancy cigarette case. It's like a like a, like a, metal syric. She carried that, but on one side, it was all the cocaine she wanted. The other side was a mirror. That's cute. Cute little set up. It was so cute.

It was practical. For all the women of my life, I bought them that for Christmas next year. Here, aunt, here's a cocaine-to-go case. But so to answer your, I mean, I was just like nervous to be around somebody doing cocaine. Again, I'm sheltered. But she apparently did it so often that you couldn't tell. Or maybe I was just used to how she normally. normally was, I had no idea that she did that.

And the fact that people are doing it and I don't realize just shows that nobody's ever wanted to offer me their cocaine. It's not cheap, right? Which I'm totally fine with. I have no interest. But, yeah, no one's ever offered him to, hey, let's go do a bump together. Wow. You just must not give off that vibe, I guess. I think my friends just know that's not my scene.

I guess I give off that vibe completely. I was at a strip club once, and they were kind enough to let me, the bathroom was just soul full. There's like four girls deep. And so they let me use the stripper bathrooms. So they're like in a locker room or whatever. And I was just sitting there mind of my business. Next thing I know I just hear, I was

like, oh, all right. Somebody's got a sniffling nose. Yeah. And then somebody just like opened my stall door because I guess they didn't lock, or maybe I didn't lock it, I don't know, and offered me drugs. I thought, you know, I'm going to pass.

I'm not really sure. I don't know. who your dealer is. You know, I'd like to meet the guy how I do those drugs. That's the fear, right? You don't know what's in there. Yeah. It's like when you're going to like a buddy's house

when you're in like young and they're like, are their parents there? I want to talk to their parents first to make sure they're there. You want to talk to the dealer to make sure the cocaine is reputable. Uh-huh. You're very responsible when it comes to illegal drug usage. You have to be. So what are communal drugs?

Like pot, right? Yeah. People will have a weed together. Cocaine, is that something that's passed around? Like I said, I thought it was pretty expensive, and maybe people are going to keep that to themselves. That's right, I heard. Years ago, I went as cocaine on Halloween, so I could be sure that later on,

someone would do me in the bathroom. That was perfect. And your voice makes it even closer. Closer to what? I forgot his name now. Oh, did I sound like Stephen Wright? Yeah, Stephen Wright. Oh, sure.

Right. Sure. Japan is turning to drones in its escalating battle with bears. They've gone high tech. Authorities are rolling out a new anti-bear technology to address a surge there of dangerous encounters. Across rural parts of the country, governments have begun deploying drones equipped with loudspeakers, flashing lights, and pepper spray. All designed to scare bears away from populated areas. There's an escalating problem with bears?

Yeah. Oh, no. That's kind of, I mean, I pour bears, but you got a pepper spray, a drone that can spray pepper spray? That's sick. I mean, like, could you imagine living there you turn out the news and that's what's coming up, like the bear problem? Well, apparently it's been a record-breaking year for incidents with bears increasingly spotted, wandering into towns and residential neighborhoods. One of the most eye-catching examples unfolded during a demonstration in northern Japan. and their officials tested the drone's capability on a guy wearing a bear suit.

Do they have video of this? You know what? They probably do. I need to find it. Who drew the shorts for all that day and that'd be the guy in the bear costume? What do you mean? I would volunteer. That's hilarious that they just, well, you know, you could wear a hazmat suit,

but why wouldn't we just put you in a bear suit? Let's make this realistic. Yeah, we got to make sure it work. It's one of those two-man bear suits, you know, or one guy's the front legs and one guy's the back legs. In the comical tech demo, the drone hovered overhead, then briefly paused before releasing a burst of bear spray from above. Japan's Environment Ministry warned that bear attacks have reached historic highs with dozens of serious injuries reported in recent years and even some fatalities during peak seasons. The rise has already pushed authorities toward unconventional measures.

They include using children to carry plastic bottles to make noise while walking to school. Oh my gosh. You have to be on the lookout for bears when you're walking to school. Apparently so. They've even deployed the Japan's self-defense forces to help track and respond to bears in affected regions. I don't know why. This is just so funny to me. I just can't imagine walking around town looking over my shoulder.

Is that a bear? I just bit my lips so hard, I'm going to cry. Oh, no, really? Oh, no. I'm a 50-year-old man, and I forgot how to not bite your lip. That's the worst. I'm going to come give you a kiss? Well, you don't want to do that with all the germs for around here.

Although I feel like we're all just sharing germs at this point. Well, yeah, I mean, it kept us out yesterday. Josh, you know, years ago I was at a party and I approached this dude and I said, you want to do some cocaine? And the guy said, bro, I got a wife and three kids at home. Of course I want to do some cocaine. Sports On the 93 eggs half-assed morning show.

Ryan Donato, who had a goal in the game tonight, in against Ballstead, saved by Bullstead, and a win for the wild. For the first time this season, Minnesota, comes from three goals down to win it, four, three, the final. Yeah, that was a pleasant surprise to wake up to. Wild coming back and rallying like that.

Yeah, no doubt. I went to bed before the game ended, but yeah, four three, winning overtime. They host a flames tomorrow at St. Paul. Last night, too, it was kind of cool. the second installment of the Flino faceoff. Marcus Felino's brother Nick plays for the Blackhawks, of course, and they're doing a cool thing to raise money for breast cancer research

in honor of their late mother, Janice. What you do is we have, actually, did you post that link at 93X.com? Yeah, I did. Yeah, so you go to 93x.com, check out this link. There's going to be two more matchups between the Blackhawks and the Wild this year, March 17th and March 19th. You pick Team Nick or Team Marcus. You donate some money.

The website says, every dollar fuels cutting-edge breast cancer research through the V Foundation with 100% of direct donations funding research as an endowment covers administrative expenses. So that's kind of cool. That's fun that they're doing that. Yeah, that's really awesome. Yeah, they seem like such good guys.

I know. Obviously, you hear plenty of stories about some of the nice things they've done. Nick, what would it be like to have a good relationship with your brother? Can you imagine you guys working together? Beautiful. Have you ever worked together on anything or had? Tears in my eyes just thinking about it. Have my brother and I ever, oh, once we've been.

plan to kill a guy. Oh, yeah. That's good bonding right there. I'm glad you didn't go through with it. He did have a telephone call. Well, he started it. We had a telephone call years ago where he said, we're going to go kill a guy.

And I talked them out of it. I was in for about five minutes, but then I thought, no, this is probably a bad idea. That's probably not good. So that was one situation, Josh, where we work together, plan together. So there's hope. How far did you get in the plan?

Like I said, about five minutes. We talked it over on the telephone and decided, no, we're not going to kill a guy. Longtime listeners may remember that I played that role once when Nick called me and said he wanted to kill a guy. Yeah. And he said he was too drunk to drive. He wanted me to come pick him up and take him to a place to kill a guy. And he kept saying, you think I'm kidding. Yeah.

I want you to get in your car, come pick me up, drive me here so I could kill a guy. That sounds like your biggest nightmare to be a part of something like that. I want to be clear, still to this day, I've never killed anybody. No, I know you haven't. But we've had two phone conversation. I like that you're in that sweet spot where you were drunk enough that you know you shouldn't be driving, but you weren't. But you still thought it would be a good idea to kill a guy. Well, because drinking and driving is wrong.

Yeah. You're like, I'm not committing two crimes tonight. So if you drive you, they'll kill them. If I get a DWI on the way there, it's not going to happen. Nobody's dying that night. Some hoops action tonight here in town. The wolves are in Dallas. They take on the Maverick, 730 on Fandul.

Anthony Edwards still questionable with that foot injury. Hopefully he can go. Go for basketball at the barn tonight, hosting Wisconsin Badgers. 8 p.m. on Big Ten Network. I think we know a guy who knows something about that channel. I say, that's a road. Roll the boat to get you my, go over Big Ten Network. That's a road game.

Oh, it's a road game? Word. My bad. My bad. Other of that, not much going on in sports. We'll talk to Randy Shaver and Brad Ryan, at a little bit. The Super Bowl is still far off. We're kind of in that weird lull right now where there's kind of in the mid-season of NFL or excuse me, NBA and NHL and we got to wait

that two weeks for the Super Bowl. We're getting ready for the Pro Bowl. Oh, yeah, that's true. Obviously. Six days until my Pro Bowl party, so I expect to see you all there. Yeah, I don't care about the Pro Bowl anymore. I don't think many people do. Did you ever care about the Pro Bowl? I cared of like 10% when Andrew DePaolo was in it. Okay. Now I'm boycotting it forever. Oh, I see. Gotcha. Yeah, we got no Vikings in the Pro Bowl. Josh's news is coming up in a few minutes. The 93-Ags Half-Azed Morning Show. What's going on, podcast, pimps?

Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer, and I think you should too. An AC tune-tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC-tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't.

wait for the first 80 degree day. We plan ahead. Booked by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. Providing the comfort you deserves this 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to bialke law.com. That's b-I-a-l-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Hi, I'm Joe Sal C. Hi, hosted the stacking Benjamin's podcast. You know what? A lot of us get taxes wrong. Filing your taxes is basically data entry. There's been this trend of people going,

oh, it's so cool to file my taxes in August. It's so awesome. Don't worry. I have an extension. It'll be fine. I'd like totally do it later. Stop. Do your friggin taxes now. That was a really good fashion voice. Did you like it? You do that. More frequently, please. Yes, every show from now. Stacking Benjamin's, follow and listen on your favorite platform. 93x half-assed morning show. Isn't that a religious show?

With all the Jesus and Jesus talk? Oh, hell no. Just kidding. They suck. 93x. This has gone a little further than just, you know, what your run-of-the-mill bar argument would be. There's at least one person we've identified as a victim who, uh,

has sustained serious physical injuries and had been hospitalized. Bar fights are a little different in the Show Me State. It's not just the usual drunken college students or middle-aged beer muscles flexing on your average Saturday night. This one mixes in a politician and those sworn to uphold the law, turning a standard scuffle into a civic spectacle. Video from Missouri's contribution to bar room lore shows a drink thrown in a face, followed by a man tumbling over a patio railing, then suddenly 15 men and women pushing, tackling, punching, and choking, including the mayor of Winfield,

and then two off-duty officers who may have had just one too many. The city of Winfield should be held accountable because they were the ones that started the problem, a bar customer said. Winfield's city attorney announced the police department is conducting an internal investigation, which has placed the officers involved on administration. straight of leave.

That's not cool. I've been to spend a lot of time in bars in my life, but I've never seen one of those all-out melees, you know? I've never seen a bar fight. I've always wanted to. I've seen just... It'll be fun. I've just kind of seen the guys getting each other's faces, you know, like, yeah, you

do something, you know, hold me back, bro, you know, that type of stuff. I've never seen that full-on stool gets thrown, pool cube, broken over someone's back like you see in the movies. Yeah, the bar, the beer bottle hit over somebody's head. Exactly. Like the all-out nonsense. I would like to, yeah, Ashley, I'm with you. I'd like to see that one day.

Didn't you see somebody get hit by a beer bottle over the head, Josh? Yeah. I thought there was somebody like a Christmas party. There was, I wasn't, I just missed that. Oh, darn. Nick saw it. And unfortunately, Nick, I mean, this is very bad for my nerves and I'm doing a lot of nervous peeing. This is kind of a new experience for me.

Usually, I mean, I've worked with Nick for 30 some years and never without him. So he is not feeling well. And he was nice enough to come in for some moral support earlier. but unfortunately he's kind of took a turn for the worst and he's on his way home right now. I hope he gets home safe. Yeah, he needs some rest, man. Yeah, he was saying off air, like,

that's the worst part about it is he can't sleep. And he thought about doing a little drinking last night to help him out. Maybe starting a bar fight at home. He's got a bar. He does. Something like that, but so. Cool bar, too. A lot of like wrestling 8 by 10s autographed and stuff hanging up there.

Dude, his house is so sweet. Yeah, it's sick. I love it. I mean, his wife transformed. He did a great job too, but since his wife moved in, like she's up that like crazy. I mean, I didn't expect him to live in like a pigsty or anything, but the first time I ever went over to his house, I was like, well, look at this. Well, he'd been a bachelor for so long. I could see why you'd assume it.

So it was like the decorating is on point. I mean, he had two Christmas trees this year. Yeah, let's just say my divorce shack was decorated a lot differently than the house I live in with my wife right now. is that right? Oh yeah There's no fast and furious posters on the wall. Yeah, same with my husband. I mean, so my husband had a girlfriend for like seven, eight years before I met him.

And so like I knew, I thought, oh, like I bet his townhouse will look more like it has a woman's touch, people say. But that was not the case at all. I was like, yeah, you can definitely tell just a dude and his dog and his cat live here. I never had one candle in my life until I got. got married. Oh, yeah? Never bought a candle, never thought of anything like that. Did you realize real quickly would you've been missing?

You know, I thought, hey, this is kind of nice. I see why people dig them. Yeah. We're not. Since the mood. We don't really use them a lot, but I'll tell you a good friend, Terry Train used to work at KQ, obviously, legend in the business. One of the most wonderful people I've ever met.

She, for Christmas, got me and Nick these, the biggest candles I've ever seen in my entire life. Oh, yeah, I was there when she gave it to Nick. that thing's huge. Yeah. I mean, I honestly, that must have been expensive. I really appreciate it. It's awesome. We use that every day now.

Yeah, those are one of those things you don't realize how expensive they are until you're buying them for yourself. Yeah, we can heat the house with that thing if we really wanted to. If I remember correctly, is it one of those, like, sand candles? I don't know what that is. Yeah, so it's like, it's not wax. It's like kind of like loose. It looks just like a normal candle in like this big,

metal bucket. Like the kind of thing like Pa would bring to the mercantile to exchange some eggs for licorice or whatever. You're going to have to put it in your will. Who gets the big candle? No, you're probably right.

Yeah, the kids are going to fight over that one. So again, thanks for sticking with us, those that still have. We apologize. I know the show sounds different, but... Josh, you're doing great. Relax. Yeah, you are. We're putting in a good effort.

Getting a lot of text messages from friends unsolicited saying you're doing such a great job. Oh, well, that's very kind. I tell you what, I've too much of a chicken to text. Don't forget, I've got kids in this town. Please, please, don't say anything to me. A man with a mile-long rap sheet snuck into an NYPD precinct last week and promoted himself to police officer.

He stole a cop uniform and walked out unnoticed while wearing it. Nobody noticed. Are you kidding me? Well, that's the rule, right, is to act like you've been there before. Of course. I mean, I know people who have been backstage at plenty of shows because, like, yeah, I'm just going back there where I'm supposed to be. video surveillance showed 37-year-old Timothy Adams stride past two signs reading authorized personnel only.

That first one would keep me out. And he went into an administrative office about 5.40 a.m. last Monday. How Adams was able to walk into the precinct remained unclear. Once inside that office, he took a uniform, some flex cuffs, keys, police documents, and other items. Wow, he's ready. Yeah, well, he wanted to make it look real. His disguise actually worked right up into the point he used. used it as pajamas. Because when Adams was found a day later passed out, still wearing the NYPD

uniform, it prompted a concerned Good Samaritan to call 911 and report an unconscious cop, obviously concerned, signaling curtain calls to cosplay. That's crazy because if he would have never, if that guy would have never been worried about him passed out, he would have totally got away with it. It sounds that way. What? It was of those meddling kids. Adams, a crook with three felony and 23 misdemeanor convictions,

is no stranger to stealing police property. He was convicted in 2021 of breaking into an NYPD vehicle and stealing an emergency service unit's best, a baton, and other items. It hit quite the collection. It sounds like fun. Pretending to bear a badge wasn't just a New York problem last week. In an ambitious bid to outrun Rush Hour, a Florida man who borrowed the look of law enforcement,

found a shortcut to the slammer. The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said a case began when the Pasco County Sheriff's Office alerted them to suspicious vehicles entering the area. One of those vehicles was described as a black Chevy Equinox equipped with red and blue emergency-style lights. At 1.21 p.m., deputies located the equinox and conducted a traffic stop.

According to deputies, that driver was identified as a 28-year-old man who admitted he activated the lights in an effort to get to work fast. Which wasn't actually the only time flashing lights led to trouble in the same week. Over the weekend in Tennessee, a man was carjacked when a dark-colored sedan with a law enforcement light inside stopped him. Still looking for that person. Every time we talk about these people, I just imagine their little, like, nerdy self on Amazon ordering these lights, like giggling to themselves. It's going to be so cool.

It would be awesome. Every other neighbors are going to be jealous of me. I'm guilty of something similar. I'm still embarrassed to say it, but I did buy, for anybody old enough to remember the old show, Night Rider, kicked the car, had the pulsating red stripe in the front, the lights that went back and forth. You got those? I did. I'm on a truck.

How long did you leave them on? You know, here's the thing, Dana. This was embarrassing. I got them, and even the guy that installed him was like, dude, are you sure? This is pretty stupid. I love Night Rider, and I thought it was cool. Like I could just, I don't know what else. It's cool, okay, it's cool.

I thought I could park in my driveway and do it. It was so stupid. You know, what it was is I, it was the first pickup truck I had in a while. I used to have them, and then I did it for a little bit, and I was so excited to accessorize it. And I was just kind of looking through accessories online, and I saw this thing and thought, well, that's something I'm going to love and use all the time.

And how old were you when this happened? I'm 30s, probably. And so I had this thing installed. Like I said, I was shamed. at Best Buy when they put it in. And then it didn't take long. I've had this happen before where I do something like that and realize, what an idiot. And so I decided I'm just not going to use this thing.

It was a waste of money. It was my fault, stupid, lesson learned. But what I didn't realize is somehow it got stuck on on my way into work one day. And I couldn't get it to turn off. No. So until I could make another appointment for them to, you know, take it out. Like I had a day where, so I ended up unplugging it, but I didn't realize it.

I got all the way to work. I'm like, oh, my God. I wonder how long this has been going on. How long I didn't. After I decided, I don't want to use this anymore. And it was, of course, dark when you went to work, so anybody on the road saw it. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Hey, maybe there was, like, one guy that was like, you know, that's pretty cool.

That's a cool guy right there. That's the one guy. I'd love for him to, like us to reconnect. Yeah. Not the guy that's hollering out. Dush! Big! And I'd imagine there was a couple of those running around for sure.

A 44-year-old Wisconsin man reportedly took exception to his neighbor's marijuana smoking and decided to mount a personal crusade against unwanted smoke by adding a much larger, far deadlier variety. At an apartment complex on the south side of Milwaukee, the morning of Friday, January 17th, flames began to lick through the hallways a few minutes past 6 a.m., delivering a rude wake-up call to sleeping residents. Fire investigators later determined the blaze was intentionally set after examining smoke patterns, heat damage, and electrical infrastructure,

while surveillance video pointed investigators in the suspect's direction, a suspect who seemingly hates the gange. In one clip, the anti-dope-dope is seen carrying around his personal items away from the building shortly before setting the fire, suggesting, of course, at least he had insider information on the evening's upcoming events. When cops asked him about it, he admitted he was angry about his neighbors smoking marijuana. So he poured gasoline in the hallway before igniting it. In all five people between the ages of nine and 94 were hospitalized as a result of the fire, including the suspect's own mother.

He didn't even warn mom. You kind of warn your mom before you commit some light arson. That's so bogus. He was that upset. Didn't even tell his own mom, which I'm imagining he lived with. Yeah. I don't think he had his own apartment. It doesn't seem like the type of guy.

No, they just, they have apartments next to each other. Oh, maybe. Maybe he had a month. But I'm not buying that either. That'd be insane. So mom pushed out a window screen to escape and ended up with scrapes and a broken ankle in that process. You were saying you were jumping out the window. Yeah, just to not get burned a leg.

I'd rather break a leg than burn the dust. Oh, me too. Yeah, 100%. All eight units were left uninhabitable. Some 25 people were displaced, meaning any future reefer smoking will have a change of address. Man, he's going to really have to step his game up for Mother's Day this year. Oh, yeah, he owes her picture. Where does he live?

Wisconsin. Oh, okay. I couldn't remember if it was a legal state. Well, it's common, man. You're not going to stop smelling weed anytime soon. Is it not legal there? I don't think it is to the degree that it is in Minnesota. Maybe.

I'm not sure because usually Minnesota and Wisconsin, like, always copy each other with laws. It just takes them a little bit. Yeah, I guess I'm not too sure. not too learned in that type of thing. I don't even, you know, we've talked about it before. I don't even know what's okay here anymore. Like everything. Honestly, you can just straight up, because I was just talking to somebody about this,

I said, yeah, you literally can just go to the dispensary and boom. And you're good to go? And you usually leave. One marijuana, please. Yeah, no, seriously. And like everything's more high tech now. It's not even the places that I know about, it's not like you walk in and there's these huge,

cases of weed where you can see all the different kinds of bud they have. You just do it on an iPad and then go up to the counter and they give it to. And also I have a friend who's big into weed and she had to plug in her vape. I didn't realize he had to charge those things. Oh, some of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The weed vapes. Is that weird?

What do you mean? Like plugging it in like you would have phone? Yeah. Like aren't sex toys the same way? Yeah, some of them. Makes you feel like more, I don't know, kind of like desperate. in a way? Well, she asked my friend, because she was over a couple weeks ago,

and she asked her, goes, can I borrow your phone charger? And I go, well, you have an iPhone, you know, this and that. And she goes, no, no, no, I need to charge my vape. I go, oh, I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah, I guess I've never, like, seen one personally, but I've heard about that, certainly. And I know, like, when we've looked up funny names of sex toys before, they say, oh, you can charge this with a USBA SS charger or something.

Half-ass Morning Show. Due to some sexual content, parental discreferral, as advised. On 93. Neighbors in L.A.'s family-friendly Larchmont neighborhoods say something's turning their quiet community into a public health hazard. Hors! Rampant prostitution! And if you think after this story, you'll ever look at Mayo Chup the same again, you're dead wrong, pal.

Dead wrong. The details are gross. Locals have seen people having sex in cars on public benches and even on sidewalks. Sometimes just feet away from family homes. and sometimes what's left behind will keep you away from red and white striped candy canes or swear off frosted jelly donuts for good. We see used condoms with semen leaking out of them on the street.

Sometimes they're covered in blood. That's kind of gross. Oh, yeah, that's kind of gross. Yeah, good luck with the jelly donut. Why did he have to, he didn't have to tell us that part. And, you know, Dana, you didn't have to insist that I play that clip. What the heck's around with you, Dana? No, no.

Neighbors say city officials and law enforcement have done little despite multiple complaints. So many residents there have taken matters into their own hands, posting surveillance signs around the neighborhood. And they are hoping to deter the sexual activity and, of course, likely watching where they step. The city responded by saying they've now launched a new multi-agency task force to address human trafficking in the area. That's sad. Bringing a coordinated crackdown to a problem residents say has long been running rampant. Ashley, it was one of those things around. I was pulling audio for this story and listening to it and watching it and getting audio clips.

I said, if I had to hear that, Ashley and Josh and everybody else has to hear it too. Well, thank you. You're welcome. You're thinking about me. The streamers have new options available today to stream. First on Prime Video, estranged half-brothers, played by Jason Momoa and Dave Batista, reunite after their father's mysterious death as they search for the truth. Buried secrets reveal a conspiracy

threatening to tear their family apart in the wrecking crew. Shrinking season three debuts today on Apple TV Plus. Oh, is one of those ones where they just have the first episode out? You know, I don't know, because sometimes Apple will do two in a row, right? Right, yeah. Oh, I hate that kind of trash.

There's a new show with the... Who's the hottie-hottie and Grey's Anatomy? Is that... Oh, Patrick Dempsey? Yeah, okay, I thought that's what his name was. Oh, I just watched that last night. Yeah, we're, you know, as excited as I was when after the first episode played, they were like,

all right, episode two, playing right now. Yeah, I wasn't expecting that either. I was like, no way they're giving me two? I didn't end up starting the second one, but I thought that was pretty cool. It's really good. Okay, I just looked it up. Only one episode is available today, and then it's one every week until April 8th. So 11 episodes of the season, it looks like.

Speaking of Michael J. Fox, like your voice sounded like him yesterday, Josh, he's in it of the season. Oh, yeah, yeah. I heard about that. That's cool. Yeah, if you're looking for a show that'll put you in a good mood. Yeah. I would say that's it. Like, that's one of those where pretty much every character is worth being on screen, you know.

Oh, shoot, the guy that was in Married with Children, I forget the actor's name. Anytime he's on screen, he steals it. Yeah, it's definitely heavy at times, but it'll lift your spirits for sure. It'll give you some faith in humanity. Yeah, I totally agree. And over on where it was, oh, the streamer that Taylor Sheridan built. the third season premiere of School Spirit on Paramount Plus. Oh, I love that.

I finally started Landman season two. Oh, I'm so jealous of you. It's not fair. There's so many TV shows that I want to go back and watch for the first time again. Oh, Ashley, did you ever watch that was a Burt Kreischer show? Yes. Did you watch that? Dana, so funny.

Oh, my God. Free Bert. Yeah, Free Bird. So good. It's five episodes. It's basically just a funny. movie like a little bit longer than the movie but very very funny i don't i'm telling ashly this she loves the guy i think he's fine you know i won't go out of the way to watch his stand up but

that show had me rolling i need more yeah i was so mad when i finished it hawkeye pierce on mash alan alda is 90 today i wish nick was here well for a million reasons but to comment on that we both loved mash that was another show where like um we'd sit around the tv with the whole family and watch that kind of thing so it's kind of a comfort show like we were talking about on monday I saw a photo on social media. I wish I had more details and names. It was four characters from MASH, and they were all hanging on the beach together

to celebrate Elin Ald's birthday. Oh, cute. Very cool. Yeah, I'd have to look it up to remember the names. I'm not familiar enough with the show to remember off the top of my head. I've seen a weird amount of MASH for a 28-year-old because my dad, because my dad always has it on, yeah.

Congratulations to our pal, Serenity Kennel, Jesus, who just hit two years sober yesterday. Oh, I love him. and obviously with things he's been through, he's been doing great for the community. That's it for 93X News. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder on the half-ass morning show. I'm busting with the boys.

He said you would be willing to cut off the most important male appendage to win a Super Bowl. Is that? I mean, maybe I'll cut it in half, but I ain't cut the whole thing. I was going to say, is that still the planner? That was just to get that young fledgling, group Taylor and will get them, you know, get them to fly. And the podcast game and it took off. You would not part with the whole thing.

No, you know what I mean? I say a lot of things I don't mean. Back in the day, if Nick wasn't here, Randy knows this, it was because of what or likely who he did the night before. This time a virus took out the whole show yesterday. We apologize. We wanted to be here with you yesterday, especially with, you know, everything that's been grim going on.

All of us felt like crap. Yes, I sounded like Michael J. Fox, and I can hear that it's starting to come back. Oh, geez. Unfortunately, we still have a germy grip on Nick, so I apologize the show's different as usual this morning. But as you heard, we welcome our usual heavy hitters up to the plate, and it's those repeated trips to the plate that keep them so heavy. From the state that gave America bath salts Randy Shaver live from Florida.

Hello, Randy. Hello, hello. Thank you for coming on. Sorry for the late notice yesterday. Probably weren't excited to get a 4.30 a.m. text. You know what? It was perfect, Josh. It was like when I was growing up and I worked construction.

And you'd wake up and it was raining outside. And you couldn't wait for the boss to call you to say we weren't working today. So it was the same kind of a text. So it was perfect. Oh, well, yeah, we got to talk a little bit about whatever. happened yesterday, but first, of course, we got to introduce another person sired from the loins of a Clara City farmer. Hello to you, Brad Reuter. Good morning. Righter, sorry. Okay, so yesterday morning, all of us were feeling kind of sick on Monday,

especially Nick. And he had said, you know, he's like, gosh, I don't know, something's coming on. And I'd been dealing something with a week before. It was really weird stuff going on. You know, it's going around. Like, I've talked to a few people, and they've all said, everybody they know sick. You know, it's going on. It is cold and flu season, as they say. Yes. But so I wake up to a text from Nick, he's like, dude, I can't do it.

You know, I'm sorry. And I was panicking because I'm like, well, son of a gun, I've never done this without him. I don't know what to do. I was totally nervous, afraid that the show is going to suck. People are going to hate her guts, that kind of thing. So I was freaking out a little bit, and I felt like crap. I'm like, well, we'll go in.

And then I get to work in Ashley's text. It's like, hey, yeah, I can't do it. can't even lift my head up. I've got migraines. She's feeling miserable. It's the worst migraines. So I'm thinking, oh, no, this is getting worse. And I called Dana, and I couldn't get a hold to Dana.

And I thought, oh, what is happening here? Everyone's dying. Is this a bit? Did you guys work this out? You knew how nervous I was. And I'm calling Dana. I think I called him like seven times to the point where I thought, geez, he's going to freak out once he sees these.

I was going to think somebody died. I don't. And I was. Or is he alive? Right. I didn't know what was going on. So finally I got a hold of him, thankfully. And he's like, dude, I can't today.

I'm just, I'm down on the house. Well, so I was, so what happened was I usually, like a lot of people, I wake up when the alarm goes off, immediately started looking at my phone and seeing what happened in sports the night before, you know, that type of stuff. Right. But yesterday, I was laying there just looking at the alarm clock and like just kind of timing it out to my head, like, to the minute when I knew that I could still. get in my car and get to work at the normal time I usually do.

So I was just laying there, looking at the alarm clock, just curled up, just waiting, you know, just soaking in every last second of being in bed. And then I finally get up and look at my phone and I got, you know, 47 missed calls from Josh and text messages from Ashley saying she's dying. I'm like, what has happened to us? I'm glad. I bet that was a really good feeling, Dana. Oh, you're like, oh, thank God, I need this.

Oh, yeah. Well, because he was late, too. So that's why I thought this, something's going on. here. So I'm all doped up. I got a bunch of dope yesterday from the doctor. Hopefully that's going to clear things up. But a bug did sweep through the studio yesterday, which I think

is the first time the studio's ever been swept. I do want to apologize if he's listening to Chad that came in, the Purple Pickham winner because he came in on Monday there's a good chance that he might get sick. Yeah, you might want to go to the doctor, man. I was worried about that too.

Sorry, man. So, you know, and Nick was here he's such a freaking awesome dude and obviously he's my best friend in the entire world and he came in and proved that today by he knew that my nerves would be shot and so he came in today as long as he could just to kind of

for some moral support and he wasn't able to talk much which is a shame because you guys will agree he sounded like a phone sex employee of the month oh yeah it was really cool first ballot Hall of Fame or no doubt yeah yeah like Dana was saying that there are some people

They're asking themselves some questions after listening to him because it was very sex. Why is that? That everybody sounds so much more attractive when they're sick like that. I don't. I sound like to interrupt. I sound like Michael J. Fox. People love it, though. When you've been on air when you've been sick, we get text messages like crazy.

Well, yeah, they want me to throw out some lines from back to the future and stuff like that. It is ridiculous. Well, so at the beginning of the sports segment here, you heard Patriots coach Mike Grable. The question yesterday was, will he cut off his penis? And if you're not familiar why he was asked that, in 2019, he was on a podcast called Bussin' with the Boys. And he said he'd probably cut off his penis to win another Super Bowl. And then so six years later, he kind of reaffirmed it here on the Greg Hill show, as his Patriots, of course, head to the Super Bowl. He joked, his wife, Jen, might volunteer to help.

Oh, wow. And then if you heard in the clip, he said, you know, maybe I'll cut half of it off, which I don't know if I could, if you'd notice a difference, but he's, and it made me kind of wonder like, Brad, maybe we'll start with you. What would you cut your penis off for? Oh, boy. Would it be to coach a Super Bowl? I don't think there's really anything on God's Green Earth

that I would probably do that for. Yeah, not that mine's great. And you can ask my wife. And we've told the story about when we all went home and had to ask our significant others, their thoughts about our genitalia. My wife's line was, I like it, suggesting that it's an abomination

that nobody else normally would. Like she's into really weird, gross, curved, stinky penises or something. It's for her and nobody else. But so I, even though I possess that, I would not cut that thing off. I want to add to the question, and this might be a little dark, but all of you have families, Dana. Your dog is included in this. Okay.

What if some terrible person had your family held captive and they were like the only way you can get them back? Should you cut off the penis? Okay. I mean, yeah. If you're going to go there, then yeah. You got to do it. You got to do it. And you have to do it yourself.

What's it called? Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. That's like some saw-level dark crap, Ashley. Is it called a Popper's Grave when you throw a bunch of people in one? Because that's where they're going. All of them are in there. Popper's grave.

I've never heard that before. I'm not cutting that thing off. Well, you know, I've been in that situation where I've balked on a bet. Certainly. A long time ago when we. were the edge. You know, Nick and I loved the old 93X, and that was our style of music, and I didn't mind the edge music. Some of it was definitely not my style. Nick hated it. Absolutely hated it. Oh, he's made that known. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's brought it up. Sometimes he talks about

what he hates. I'm going in for my yearly physical next week, I think next Tuesday, and my doctor listens to this show. I know the first thing he's going to say to me. Want me to cut it off for you? Yes, that's exactly what he's going to say. That's the first thing he's going to say to me. I hope everyone's doctor asked him that after this conversation. That'd be something, wouldn't it? If they offered to cut penises off, yeah, I'll pass on. Our insurance isn't that good anyways.

But we had a, so the station was doing real well, the edge, actually. And there was a guy that's like, I think we're going to flip formats. And I thought, well, there's no way. I mean, they just said how well the station was doing. And I promised him an active service that I thought I'd never have to pay up on him. And then we flipped. And I told him, I'm sorry. I'm not somebody that would normally balk on a bet, but I can't do that for you.

He shows up at your house at like 8 p.m. Yay, buddy. Fresh, fresh off the treadmill. There's a guy, have you seen this video? Is this up on 93X.com, the chili guy? I can't remember if I sent it to you. I don't think so. It doesn't sound familiar.

Sorry, we've been scrambling a little bit this morning, but golf better. Larry Shea is his name. He talked a little too big online, and he's paying for it with a chili-based bet. He guaranteed on social media that Scotty Schaeffler had zero chance to win a tournament in California. Which is a really stupid prediction to me.

Yeah, he promised, though, if, quote, somehow he actually did, he'd eat nothing but Wendy's chili for an entire month, a whole month, guaranteeing he's also giving up a chance of a solid bowel movement, I'd imagine. Yeah, it's four stock. I hope he has a buddy who's a plumber and charges a reasonable price. I don't think there's going to be a buddy that wants to be anywhere near him. That's a good point.

For about a month. So Scotty won, and he's actually sticking to it. He said that, well, I'll play the clip here, but basically he said it's just chili. There's nothing else going to be on there other than chili. I am a man of my word. No excuses. that was wrong. Congratulations, Scotty Shepler,

which means until February 25, 7 p.m., the only thing I'm going to be eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner is Wendy's chili. No cheese, no crackers, just chili. Mmm, delicious. Okay, I think he just wanted to eat chili for a whole month. Why would you make this bet? That's like saying, like, I bet this water isn't going to be wet.

Scotty dominates. Yeah, like he's acting like it's one of the craziest. Like he's going to be eating chili for like five years. It's so dramatic. No toppings. I'm a guy that could eat the same thing every day. I don't know about all like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I've wondered that because I love chicken wings.

And I thought if I had to pick one food to eat further, say a month for a challenge, it would be chicken wings. But I do wonder how quickly I would get sick of them. And I think like you'd have to have the same flavor, too. Oh, that would make it tough too. Because I kind of wanted some breakfast wings. with some syrup on them or something. Oh, yeah, they got those at some bars.

Like chicken and waffles. Yeah, that sounds amazing, dude. I don't know. I guess I didn't think of chicken and waffles. I haven't had that, but I know it's popular. I got it once, and I was so excited to try it for the first time, and it ended up being just, like, chicken nuggets on top of my waffles. I was like, I don't think this is how it's supposed to be.

It's good, but it sits in your gut for a while. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you hold on to that one. I thought it was just, isn't it like fried chicken typically in waffles? Is that into syrup? All over it? Yep. Yeah, it's supposed to be like, you know, like KFC-styled.

Is that like, go to Waffle House and get something like that? Sure. They have it basically everywhere now. I always see it on the menus. Yeah, they got a lot of breakfast places they do, yeah. Oh, even around here? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I thought it was like a South thing. I bet they even have it at like Perkins now. It's so popular. Not to give them a plug or anything, but Josh, have you ever eaten that copperfield in Mendota Heights? Oh, yeah. That place is great.

Okay. They've got really good chicken and waffles over there. I've had it over there, too. You know, on a day, that I'm already worried what people are going to say about us, you know, without Nick here. I'll admit to you that the one time I was there at Copperfield, and I'm embarrassed to say it, I embarrassed my brother. We were there for my mom's birthday. And I wanted to try have a kind of toast. I've heard people talk about it. It's good. And I thought, I'm with family. This is safe. Nobody's going

to give me crap. And I kind of whispered it, basically, to the server. And my brother heard it, And he just crossed his arms and he shook his head at me. That is a crazy thing to order out of breakfast place. What do you do it? Well, I thought that was a breakfast dining. I know, but it's like an at-home, quick breakfast before work kind of vibe. But they fancy it up at the restaurants, Ashley. Yeah, it was pretty fancy.

I'm picturing just like one single piece of toast with some of avocado and that's it. Just smeared on it. Here you go, sir. Yeah, I mean, I'll never forget the look he gave me. I mean, he was ashamed. I think he didn't want to be brothers at that point. He makes he go sit at the bar by yourself and eat it. I haven't had it since.

Not that it was bad or anything. I scarred you. Josh, next time we go to breakfast, get the avocado toast in front of me. I won't judge you. I'd imagine even you judge me. No, I've ordered avocado toast. It's good. It's got that dumb stigma where everybody just started ripping on it.

It's disgusting. Oh, it's not actually. I don't like avocado in general, though. I think it tastes like nothing. Well, then there you go. If you don't like the main ingredient, something, you're probably not going to enjoy it too much. It's so gross.

You can dress it up, do whatever you want with it. I don't know. It's just like, it's like yum, yum, yum, yeah. That feeling. your mouth. You know, it's actually, I understand the feeling now that you say it. Yeah. I understand.

We talked not too long ago about what's going on around the 49ers. And with the Super Bowl at Levi's Stadium, it was assumed both teams would use their nearby practice facility, but they're not. The Patriots are going to train at Stanford and the Seahawks at San Jose State. In case you don't remember, there's an online theory of the electrical substation next to the 49ers complex. And they're afraid it could be causing injuries through electromagnetic field radiation exposure. Oh, yeah.

So ridiculous. Well, yeah, medical professionals are saying, guys, that's not a thing. You know, you don't have anything to worry about. But 49ers GM, John Lynch, said the team isn't going to risk it. They don't want to risk it. The theory started because San Francisco had an injury-plagued season, which sideline Nick Bosa, Fred Warner, and George Kittle. And some people think it's because of the substation nearby.

That is so weird. What is going on? I thought maybe they just, I thought maybe they just didn't want to let the 49ers have their practice, somebody's practice facility, because they didn't want to give an advantage to one team. Because I'm assuming the 49ers practice facility is better than the other two that they're at. But maybe that you'd imagine, yeah. Yeah. Do you think, I mean, so do you think maybe that they're using it as an excuse or maybe, or they just make it, it's, maybe there's something there in their minds? Maybe there is, but I have a feeling that maybe part of the reason they're not using it is because they're just, you know,

probably better than those other two, and they don't want to give one team a better practice facility than the other, possibly. I mean, it's kind of unusual for a professional team to give up their practice facility to just one team for a game like the Super Bowl. I mean, I can't imagine the Vikings would give up their facility to another NFC team to practice for a Super Bowl in Minneapolis. It just doesn't make a lot of sense. It makes more sense to go to the gophers, to go to a different, you know,

like a neutral, I guess that's the way I would look at it, a neutral site to practice. So maybe what they're- I think when the Super Bowl was here not that long ago, I think one of the teams did practice at the O'VM and the other team practiced somewhere else, but it wasn't at the Vikings facility. Yeah, I just put them at a local park.

Go outside. Here's a bag of balls, kids, go out fun. Here you are at SkyZone. So maybe this isn't that unusual, and they're just kind of throwing that excuse me. Can those schools say no? I'm sure they get money. Yeah, they charge those.

Oh, duh, yeah, that makes sense. All right. Yeah, sure. I would charge them a crazy amount. I bet you're right. I bet it is. Like, I know you got it, so pay it. Shoot, when the Super Bowl was here,

I know a couple of people that decided, hey, we're moving out for a couple weeks. We're going to Airbnb this stuff. Oh, I would have told them. on that. That's so smart. And that happens a lot when, like, the Ryder Cup was here or the U.S. Open's been here. People will rent out their homes close to the golf course for an extended period of time

just because you can make a lot of money that way. Now, I don't know if this was true or not, but there was a golf major here where Tiger Woods was playing in. Maybe Brad or Randy. Yeah, my parents went to that. The PGA. PGA. I think 2002. Oh, yeah, it was a long time ago.

And so a friend of mine, he's a cop in, I think it was Bloomington maybe where this happened. And he said that there was a person there lived in a very nice house, like on the west side of Bloomington, who rented it to Tiger Woods. And he said that Tiger, like, renovated certain parts of it, like to make it a little nicer for him during his stay. Oh, wow. That was part of the package as he got, like, I don't know if he put in, like, a hot tub or I can't remember exactly the full details. But I had no way, until then, I had no idea that. happen. I make sense. I just assume maybe

they'd stay at a hotel. I'm glad it went that way and not the other way because that was in the air of Tiger Woods is really into partying. I thought you were going to say he trashed the place, he uppered decked a toilet or two. Yeah, uh-huh. You stole the sex swing. You know,

strangely enough, I dated a girl who, early around we were talking about like something called a peanut butter raise. It's like kind of a new viral term going around where you have a company wants to give people raises and they spread it like peanut butter. Everybody gets a little bit.

And so I had a girlfriend who her job was kind of like that every year. And one year they decided to buy gifts for everyone. And this is like a big corporate job here in town. They gave them sex swings. And it wasn't like a true. So odd. Yeah. Honestly, it was like she had this thing in her trunk forever.

She never installed it or anything like that. But she just kept this sex wing in there. It was really weird. They had like a manager that had a kind of a bizarre. our sense of humor for like I don't think now that would ever fly yeah that's an ajar violation you're asking Derek coming around handing it's all a sex swing actually I kind of could I'd be excited for the pay dad about to get from the company what I was afraid certainly I'm too prude to use it if she wanted to use it and also I was kind of scared that she'd asked me to hang it I don't have the ability

to do something right was it one of those ones that hangs in like a closet door you know like an entryway no like it from a ceiling oh from a ceiling okay I don't even know how you get in that thing It looked very confusing. I had a girlfriend once and she got, it was when they, I think they were called Pure Romance Parties where girls would get together. Oh, yeah. Those were a huge at the time. And she bought one and he didn't, you know, connected to the ceiling. It kind of connected like a pull-up bar, you know, that she might use in the doorway.

Kind of like that. And it didn't really work. It was just very awkward and clumsy. So you never got a chance to give it a show. We tried, but we're like, okay, this is dumb. What are we doing? Yeah, it looks dumb. It looks like it might take the romance.

Right. And you're like, we're doing gymnastics here. Like, come on, let's be real. Yeah, I mean, you're too big to defend that thing. I want to see a quarterback to do that for his offensive linemen. Those would be some nice ones. Yeah, those have to be custom made. Yeah, I mean, Nick has a great story about one of those pure romance parties where apparently whoever hosted it at his house, they didn't provide the purchased materials for the ladies.

Oh, yeah. And one of the things he said, was really cool is that he was kind of surprised by what some girls he thought were pretty, you know, buttoned up were into. And so he started getting these angry phone calls from some of these women, talking about some of the names. Yeah, where's my double butt rock at 9,000? Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

And like some of the sizes of these things and the costs. How many inches did you say that one was? I'm trying to get this straight. And so he was basically customer. service for this. I forget if they ended up getting everything they bought or what, but he said he was getting some angry calls and some really horny ladies he knew.

Oh, that's funny. DeSlayer Sheez said that sex wings are great. It's a great workout. Yeah, but I don't want to be working out extra on top of the, you know, sex is already a workout. No, it's not. There should be no exertion during sex. There should be no enjoyment, no exertion, nothing. Don't take your clothes off. You get over with it as soon as possible,

Josh says. Yeah, you got your shirt. on, your socks on. Your sex shoes. Your sex shoes, your boxers wrapped around just one ankle. You close your eyes. Not even around one ankle. You just slide it through the little shoot. Oh my gosh.

If a guy ever did, oh, my God. I don't have the length for that. Ridiculous. You guys are gross. So we talked earlier about the Pro Bowl coming up on this coming Tuesday, right? Party at my house.

Yeah, you're a big fan. They announced coaches. I've never heard of them. The celebrity coaches. Someone, a TV personality named Druski and a singer named Jay Balvin. I'll have to look up the J. guy, but Druski is pretty funny. He started out as like a streamer type vibe, I think. Oh, yeah, I'm familiar with this guy a little bit. Yeah, he's, he's pretty

funny. I've seen some funny videos from him. What was the other guy's name? Jay Balvin? No, you're right, though, Josh. When he's things come out like when they announce the who's going to be playing in the NBA celebrity all-star game you know and I look at the list and I don't know any of those people anymore who in the world is this Jay Balvin guy I've never seen him I've never heard of him the article just said he was a Colombian singer so I thought he's very popular in Colombia I guess I have I have no idea who this guy is yeah are they are they struggling although like you said

So Nick had said that the Drusky guy is very funny. So he mentioned he's familiar with them. And then, oh, Nick wanted me to pass along, Brad and Randy, that two of the greatest ever, Michael Vic and Cam Newton are going to go ahead and play in the flag football game. That's awesome. He wanted me to stress how good they are. Another reason not to watch it.

And Cam Newton should be the quarterback of the Vikings. He wants you to know him. I love that guy so much. I didn't realize we were reached out to alumni to play in the thing now too. Yeah, they're hurting. They're struggling. And then the fact that they added the Dion Sanders' kid to the Pro Bowl roster.

Yeah, what a joke. I think that just completely killed it. I think that was a final nail. No other quarterback nor the starting quarterback in the NFL wanted to go. I had some buddies talking about that the other day and they were just like, that is ridiculous. They were cracking up about it. Guy barely belongs in the NFL,

let alone the Pro Bowl. Yeah, people weren't too happy about that. Was there like an ulterior mo? You know, we were scrambling a little bit last night. I don't know, like, why is he in there? Is it really just that? Nobody else wants to do it. How many people said no?

Well, that plus, I'm sure that they feel like if he goes, more people might watch. That might be part of it, too. Or talk about it at least. Well, yeah, that worked. That's for sure. A lot of articles written on it. Well, the Buffalo Bills, they hired Brady as their next coach. And I clicked on that very fast.

Wrong Brady. Figured, well, that's odd. Philip Rivers, they weren't interested in. Nope. What was the deal? He just didn't have enough experience? Yeah, I don't know. Sure. I think they probably wanted Brady all along. He's the offensive coordinator, but it's almost like the Bills and the Polads are having a competition right now to see who can ruin more good fanfare with their franchises. Because Bill's fans are not happy about this higher at all. I tell you, I didn't know too much about him. I text our good buddy James, who's a Buffalo native.

Yep. And he loves all Buffalo sports just to ask him his thoughts, and he wasn't happy about it. Right. A lot of people thought that Brae. Brady should have gotten fired midseason and that Brandon Bean, the GM should have been fired after the season. Instead, they fired the head coach Sean McDermott and promoted both Brady and Bean to higher positions. Oh. And they weren't interested in Bill Belichick and his granddaughter coming to town? I don't know if we talked about this yet.

Didn't he just miss out on some type of Hall of Fame situation? Yeah, he's not a first ballot hall of famer. Yeah. I was wondering Brad and Randy how you guys feel about what my husband said. He said that he thinks that he would have got in if he wasn't dating a, you know, an 18-year-old. No, it's a joke that he didn't ruin his legacy at all? No, it's a joke that he didn't get in. He's one of eight Super Bowls.

He should be a first ballot Hall of Famer, period. What kept him out, you think? Well, it's just political. Well, that's probably part of it. It's the way that he treated some of the media members during the course of his career as a coach. You know, unfortunately, politics does play a part in these votes. We see that sometimes with Major League Baseball in their voting process too. When you're good, you're good, though.

That's right. This is wrong that he didn't get in on the first ballot. It doesn't help the Pro Football Hall of Fame, the perception of the Hall of Fame, when a guy like Bill Belichick, who's won eight Super Bowls, doesn't get in on the first ballot. It doesn't bode well for people's perception of it, but it is controlled by the writers, and for whatever reason, some of them,

didn't vote him in on the first ballot. So he's a lot to get in. He will get in. But, you know, it's their, way, I guess, of sending a message to him that they didn't appreciate some of the things that, you know, happened during his time in New England, whether they weren't treated fairly or the deflate gate or however else they perceived it. It's wrong. It shouldn't have happened. He deserves to be in on the first ballot. It's just sports writers taking themselves way too seriously, knowing that they had the power to be gatekeepers here. I mean, first of all, this shouldn't even be out.

We shouldn't even know this. You know, this ballot, the results aren't released until next week. And so for this to all be out here right now is a shame too. But yeah, I mean, you see it in the baseball writers sometimes. They will not vote for certain people. And sometimes, you know, it's a number of different issues for the baseball, whether it's steroids or whatever. But, I mean, I think Belichax is more just him.

It's just how he treated the media and the way that he, you know, deflakeated and how that turned out, I think, had a lot to do with this. We see it a little bit in baseball, but I think it's a little bit more watered down in baseball because I was looking at the stuff this morning. be there's only 50 people who vote on the NFL Hall of Fame. And so when you only have, when you have maybe 10 or 12 people who decide, hey, I'm not going to vote for this guy because of what he did to me, that will sway it.

And he won't get in. But in the baseball hall fame, Randy, maybe you can, maybe you have the numbers. There's a lot more baseball writers. Oh, way more. Way more writers. I want to say it's like 200 or 250. And so you have to have a larger amount of people.

kind of privately boycott somebody in baseball for them not to get in. And the percentage to get in for baseball is so high. You have to have 75% of the vote. And so that in itself makes it so difficult to get in to the Baseball Hall of Fame, even on your first ballot, even if it looks like you should be getting in on the first ballot. Sometimes guys don't just because of the sheer volume of voters and what you have to reach in order to get in. 394 people vote for the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Baseball writers 394, and only 50 get the vote on the NFL Hall of Fame. And you need 40 of the 50, so that's 80%. Yes. Yeah. And so like I said, if you got 11 of those 50 who got it in for a guy, he ain't getting in. I did see a tweet last night that made me laugh that said, because people were, even people who hate Bill Belichick, hate the Patriots, hate all of it. We're saying, okay, this is ridiculous.

The guy should be in the Hall of Fame. But one guy said he goes, screw all the Super Bowls. The guy should be in the Hall of Fame because he's a 70-year-old man that wears his hoodies and is wheeling a 24-year-old. A wheeling? Wheeling. So he's doing something right. That's fantastic.

I love that. That would have to crack me up. Screw the Super Bowls. Who had a goal in the game tonight. In against Ballstead. Save by Bullstead. And a win for the one. for the first time this season, Minnesota,

comes from three goals down to win it, four, three, the final. How much coffee do you think Anthony Lepanta drinks during the day and during the game? Man, that guy gets excited, and I love it. He's a fan. It just seems that way. Yeah, as he heard, the Pigs rally,

three goals down to be the Blackhawks last night and shootout four to three. They got the flames tomorrow in St. Paul at 7 p.m. But last night, this was kind of cool. We've talked about this, I think, earlier in the season. It was the second installment of the Flino faceoff, because Marcus's brother Nick, of course, plays for the Blackhawks. And they're doing this cool thing to raise money for breast cancer research

in honor of their late mother, Janice. We have the link up at 93x.com. You basically pick, I donate to Team Marcus or Team Nick. I think we should go with Marcus on this one. And it all goes to the same pot, 100% of donations to go directly to funding research for breast cancer. So it's a cool thing that the brothers are always very passionate about because of their mother and her story. So that's a cool thing.

They got two more games. They play March 17th and the 19th. I believe. So still more opportunities to donate. Oh, they'll be doing it then as well? Yep. So, yeah, for all four games, they've already played two. They've got two more left.

So, yeah, what a neat little thing they're doing here to raise some money, a little friendly, brotherly rivalry. That is cool. Yeah. It's such a nice guy. Such a sweetie. Just I want to be friends with him and his brother. I like to hang on to have beers with them.

I'll tell you what, I was very jealous because the GM, I mentioned before, best buns in the car business, Dan Dingman from Luther Key of Bloomington. Yeah. He's a huge, huge hockey guy. He loves it. His kids are in it. He's always doing something hockey related.

He sent me a picture. Marcus hung out with his kids and said it was awesome. You know, that he talked to their team. And so he's got a great picture of all the kids hanging out with Mark. Marcus, of course, looks 10 feet taller than the rest of the course. Yeah, that is so cute. But it was such a cool experience, and he said he could not have been nice. We had no surprise to us.

No. Yeah, of course. What a thrill for those kids. Holy crap. The smiles on their faces was awesome. Absolutely awesome. Yeah. That's cool.

I'm jealous of those kids. You know what? A lot of people are. I'm jealous of some 10-year-olds right now because they got to hang out with a guy who's younger than me, by the way. Oh, wow. I guess I never really thought about it like that. Actually, I still think of professional athletes as all being older than me, you know? I don't know why.

I'm still in that mindset that, like, as a kid growing up, you know, they seem like these giant, you know, gods. I still kind of feel that way sometimes. They're like, oh, wait, Anthony Edwards is 23. Yeah, I'm definitely, like, most recently I've hit that age where, it's weird, but I'm like, he's how old? What? 22 and he can throw like that? Randy, actually, I wonder if you felt this way too.

I have kids older than most professional. Like my oldest is about to turn 27, you know, next month. And it's like, he'd be the old guy on the team. When I was a kid, I was a huge autographed hound. I loved going to the games early when they would twins players or would do appearances at the best buyer of Twins Pro Shop. I was always hitting those up. and I set a hard and fast rule for myself

when I was like 15 or 16 and I said I will never ask as I get older I will never ask for an autograph of a player that I'm older then you know once I got into my 20s I was like God that guy's 19 I'm like I can't get his autograph so I always set that rule for myself and that's why I kind of phased out of getting autographs because I think there's

probably one person in the four major sports right now that's older than me so yeah that was my rule that I set for myself there's a video NHL related thank you again Dan Dingman and Luther Key of Bloomington for your help there. There's a video on 93x.com. Maybe you've seen this.

They find William Nylander of the Maple Leaves, $5,000. The cameras were on him. He was up in the, like a suite. Yeah. Yeah, the injured players up in the box. Yep, all the injured players were up there, and the cameras were on him.

And he kind of like, as a joke, quickly gave the middle finger to the camera, which they caught. And I'll play it. Plenty of people do that. Yeah, so you do that when came. cameras are on. Yeah, every once in a while. I get nervous. I don't know what to do with my hands. Well, that's what he did. And so he's got, you know, the NHL, they weren't a fan.

I didn't think that was like that crazy of a deal. And I saw when I was watching this video, I was watching on Twitter and I was reading the comments and other people were sharing like moments from NHL history where somebody got fined five grand for doing something so much worse than that. And he was kind of subtle about it too. You had to like know it was coming to even see it because he just kind of like really suddenly just kind of raised it just a little bit. It wasn't like a stone cold Steve Austin

double bird in the face or anything. It reminded me like some of my uncles when they'd pretend they were scratching their eye with their middle finger. Yeah. It was kind of that move. You're right. It was very quick. He's laughing about it. It was almost kind of like he was kind of second guessing if he should do it or not.

Yeah, I mean, right. He kind of waited a little bit. So he has since apologized. He don't need to apologize for that. I'm so sorry for everybody that I offended. He has since apologized. The twins starting pitcher, Joe Ryan,

the twins and Joe Ryan have reached a deal. What are your thoughts on that, Brad and Randy? Well, I mean, obviously getting him in the fold for, it's a one-year deal, so they avoided arbitration by agreeing to like, I think, a $6.2 million deal.

doesn't mean that Joe Ryan's going to be around here long term, unfortunately, but at least for this year, he'll start the season with him. We'll see how it goes. I mean, you know, the twins are, they're going to struggle. This team is void of any real superstar players at this point, other than Buxton, and he's 32. So I don't think expectations, are super high for what could happen this year.

But keeping Joe Ryan is a big thing. I just think that eventually they're going to have to figure out what their long-term solution is for this team. Are they going to trade away their assets and rebuild and start over? What are they going to do? Because right now, to me, and maybe Brad disagrees, but it just feels like they're in limbo. It just feels like they don't really. have a plan.

They're not spending money to build the team, yet they're not selling their assets all off to start over. So I don't know. It's hard to get excited about spring training right now when you know the twins haven't invested a lot in building

this team. Like to me, the Taylor Rogers signing smelled like okay, yeah, we have some bullpen help, but it's a one-year contract. So you know, you know, what that means at the end of July, they're going to trade them for prospect. I mean, you can't think of anything else other than that. I mean, they're not going to sign them for one year

with the thought that they're going to sign them to a multi-year deal after this year. They signed them for one year so they could trade them away at the end of July. Yeah, I just think, if you're a twins fan, it's really hard to, I mean, spring training people will talk about the twins just because it's spring training and everybody starts at zero zero. But once the season gets going and we see what's what the what the team looks like on the field every day and who knows maybe they'll be competitive to start you know baseball's crazy that way and sometimes you never know but it just doesn't feel like they've they've invested enough for this team to be competitive it's just it's just not even close i have a lot of friends who can't i have a lot of friends who

cancel their season tickets after the purge and it's funny canceled ours they they think you telling me that they keep getting increasingly desperate emails from the season ticket reps to the point where it's almost like, hey, do you got a body you need me to bury? Because I really need to move some tickets here. Dude, I thought about buying them one year, and do they call me every single year, about 502 times. I think we talked about this before. They've got a brutal schedule in April, and when I say that, I mean, they have a lot of home games. And you would think ordinarily that would be a good thing, but not with the weather here.

I mean, from an attendance standpoint, they are going to have a brutal April because they've got a lot of home games. And as we know, the weather in April isn't great. And, yeah, they're going to start off. You know, maybe they're going to get off to a decent start if they play well at home, but they're not going to have a lot of people in the stands at all. Yeah, yeah. Well, I see we're up against it here. And Brad insisted we talk about weaners to open the break.

So we'll come back to it here to end the break. Here we go. I'm excited about this. What is that? That was a promo for the Weenie 500. The Indianapolis 500 comes around. It's not what you think. No, no, no, you're right.

That's a lot of weenies. And by the way, I'm not even checking texts in case you're being mean today. So say whatever you want about my mom. Go ahead. Say whatever you want. So the Weenie 500 where the legendary Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobiles race against each other and Indianapolis Motor Speedway track. No way.

So apparently this has gotten so big, Fox is going to air it. That's awesome. Yeah. I mean, so for a million reasons, I wish Nick was here, but he loves the Weiner Mobiles. It's very well known. We did that for his birthday one year. Yep, had the Weiner Mobile come out here. Even though he hates puns, he loves the Weiner Mobile and the, oh, what are they called?

The drivers. Oh, yeah. What are they? I'll look it up. Frank, I can't remember. But, yeah, he even loves those. So last year it was, you had to stream it. And now this year, Fox is going to air it.

I think what we should do is because I think we've all talked about this. We're all kind of over the whole hot dog eating contest on the 4th of July. Let's replace that on the 4th of July with the weenie 500 or are they're calling. I agree. That would be fun. The people that drive the weiner mobiles are called the hot dog. Hot doggers. That's what it is.

Yeah, thank you. Cool. You know, I've never, have you guys ever watched it? No. I've just seen clips on social media. until now. Do you have any interest, Bradder, Randy? I have interest, I guess. Yeah, I just never really paid attention to it. You're not going to devote three hours to it, but if it's, you know, like a half-hour race, that'd be kind of fun.

And you might see a weiner pile. I'm not putting it in my calendar, but yeah. Look at a second. You might see a what? A weiner pile up. Again, say whatever you want about my mom. Oh, that'd be so funny. Just the wreckage of all these weeners. They would be a huge crash. Those trucks are big.

They are. Just everybody, there's ketchup pouring everywhere, and folks think they're bleeding out. Oh, this is the worst crash of all the time. Well, thank you so much, Brad and Randy. You appreciate it big time. You know, talking about Nick here. Thank you, you guys.

You guys are great as always. Thank you both. We'll see you Friday. All right. More of the quarter-assed morning show coming up. The 93-X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning.

I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer. I think you should too. An AC-tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC-tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well.

Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki.

He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. This isn't your average podcast. This pod is about to be crazy.

I don't even know what's going to happen. This is full send. It's just like a boy's scrap. Join the party. We threw like a spontaneous party out of nowhere It was crazy. And we pulled off a crazy prank. Prinks, parties, and viral culture at its wildest.

Just seeing like the guys that you brought in and like seeing their different personalities and stuff, it's been entertaining, dude. This could be the greatest content build-down of all time, bro. The Full Send podcast. Dude, let's get ready to rumble. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Let's do it. The half-ass morning show. 93X.

Someone who's a regular, I'll say, uh, client of constipation. A repeat customer, not on purpose. Yeah. If you want a cure for being backed up, I learned this morning that just try hosting a radio show when you've never done it before and your best friend is usually here for support really gets things moving if you know what I'm saying.

Oh, no. Got some tum-tum issues? Oh, the tummy. Oh, I'm so sorry. The nervous pee-Ps, the poofos. Man, it's all there. You're doing great, man. If you just turn on your radio,

sorry to say Nick couldn't be here today. I mean, I guess technically he was here today, simply for moral support. I mean, how awesome. He knew that it would be a little nerve-wracking. I've never done a show without him. So he came in. Whatever bug that's going around the studio, all of us were feeling it until it just worked out yesterday. We kind of got the same thing at the same time, took the day off.

That's why we weren't here yesterday. We wanted to be here, certainly. So appreciate you coming back. And Nick's voice is the final victim. He seems to be feeling better, but his voice was pretty cooked. So hopefully we're back at full strength tomorrow, and sorry if the show sounds a little weird. But we are doing our best for you.

I was telling Josh, Dana, that I hope we do all have the same thing, or else we're just going to get each other sick over and over then. Just going to just pass it around? Yeah. Yeah, where we all just brought the same dish to a potluck. So we all have the same leftovers. Nobody has to fight over it on the way home. And right now I'm going to have that,

I know I'm going to have that paranoid thing all day where I might feel like every little thing I'll be like, oh no, is it getting worse? Is it getting worse? You know? But it's just like, no, you just coughed. You clears your throat. You're fine, man. That's how I felt yesterday. We were talking about this earlier, but I can tell it's coming back.

My Michael J. Fox voice when I get sick. I have this, you know, itty-bitty weak baby voice already. And then it just can't handle long conversations or any illness whatsoever. So, again, thank you. Thanks for sticking around and podcasting, if that's what you're doing. There's, I don't know if you guys saw this online. Pretty gross. And I don't mind ketchup.

I'm not like a big fan. I know Dana, you hate it. And I hope this doesn't make you barf. Nick notoriously does not like ketchup on hot dogs. I love it. Ketchup just in general. We were just talking about this, I think, on Monday. Yeah.

But since then, Heinz, they released something called Keg Chup. Oh, cool. Are you interested in this? I'm guessing it's just a huge. A huge thing of ketchup? Yes. It's a 19.5 inch 10-pound ketchup dispenser. Good God.

It's disgusting. It holds 114 ounces of ketchup. And so, I mean, Ashley, I wish too bad you didn't get married before this or after this came out. What a great gift that would have been for you. I'd have been cool with it. And it's out before the Super Bowl. Oh, just in time. Thinking maybe that's the one key ingredient you need for a good Super Bowl party is all the ketchup a person could eat.

I was just going to say it. I was going to say, actually, I would shoot it with a gun if I saw it, but that would just make it worse because that would just make ketchup explode all over me. And that's my worst nightmare. You would totally miss. You're right. I fired one gun in my life and I was terrified. Yeah, it'd be embarrassing.

Shoot my buddy on accidents. But no, I need two more. I need one for ranch and one for Tabasco sauce, too. You know, those, like, pump stations are kind of cool, you know, at a fast food restaurant or whatever. Even though I'm not really big into that. I mean, mustard, I'll eat a ton of mustard. I always do wonder how often those are cleaned, though, or if they're just piled on top of, so never really cleaned.

Yeah, I wish you didn't bring that up, but you're probably right. Makes me nervous. I never thought about it. I will say one of the restaurants I worked at, instead of changing out the ketchup's, we would just fill the bottles that were already at the table. So there was a chance, like, if you got the ketchup low enough, that you were eating ketchup from, like, three years ago.

Oh, I suppose. You just refill them to the top? There was a lot of things that went down there where I was like, you know, this is probably a health cold violation. I have enough friends that worked in the restaurant industry to know that. And I remember the old Chicago and Uptown, Josh, did you ever go to that one? Yes. Yeah. I loved that place.

I lived right by. It was my favorite hang. I knew all the bartenders, all my friends. We'd all gather there. And then it closed. And I was so sad. And a new bar opened up there a little bit later. I was there and I was talking to the bartender.

And I said, oh, man, you know, this is great. I'm glad this opened by I do miss. old Chicago and he goes, if you were to saw the things that we saw when we renovated this place, you would not miss it. Oh, yeah, you know, I've heard that before. Like, even some of the nicer restaurants, you might be, might turn you away.

My buddy Doe Boy, he owns a bar in Wisconsin. It's called Doe Boys Bar and Grill. Very fitting. I actually just already come up with that one. We just mentioned it not too long ago because that's where there's a burger named after me. Anyway, so I helped him get, kind of like, clean out the old place, and it

was the most disgusting thing in the world. I've never seen anything like that. Like we took the booths out that, you know, like the family sit in, and there was like just food from decades ago. It's just like full chicken wings. It's just, oh, atrocious. That's pretty nasty. Yeah, I mean, we moved.

It's nice now, though. We had to move our couch, and I didn't realize how much dog hair and, like, crumbs and stuff. I found out that the kids are eating on the couch, and we told them not to. Yeah, don't move the furniture. Never move the furniture. Yeah, we just got to. had a new rug for the living room. Oh, boy.

So my wife, she did it all by herself while I was doing the show. It was pretty nice. I got him home and I didn't have to help. But she had to move the whole couch out of the way, you know, to get the new rug down. And she goes, there was a, there was basically an entire bag, like a giant bag full of dog food underneath that couch. Yeah, pretty nasty stuff. So, you know, regarding finding things, there was, I think it was a Reddit thread going around about some weird things people discovered when going through other people's stuff, like after. for someone passes or whatever.

There was a woman helping her grandma move, and there was three entire closets full of toilet paper, some dating back to the 1980s. So it wasn't like a pandemic thing where everybody was like stealing and stocking up on toilet paper. And grandma said she'd just like to be prepared. Yeah, because I think, my grandma,

she never threw anything away to the point where the last five, six years of her life she lived in an old folks home, and every day she would go down and get soup. And with soup, you know, they gave you a little two-pack of salting crackers. She didn't like the crackers, but she knew I did. So anytime I go over, I'd get, you know, a week's worth, two weeks' worth, however long it'd been just huge supply of salting crackers. And when she passed, I found another huge bag of just two packs of salting crackers she was saving for me. Grandmas don't throw things away.

I always heard that if people were... Great Depression. Yeah, during the Great Depression is that they were very guilty of doing those kind of things. Yep, I've heard the same thing. Hey, but she was probably set for COVID. She probably, ha ha, look at me, bitches. Yeah, don't make fun of Grandma now. Yeah, uh-huh.

They're laughing. She's selling it for big bucks. Although, apparently there's a shelf life for butt wipe because they said half of it was yellow and brittle. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, I've seen that before where you find a really old thing of toilet paper. Yeah, it turns weird. Yeah, like an old newspaper you find maybe.

Yeah. Another person said that they were cleaning out their late uncle's garage and found a preserved human brain. Sweet. in a jar labeled Walt. Who's Walt? Now, luckily, and I'm assuming they were very well aware of this, but the uncle had been a science teacher who said he forgot to return the brain to school.

How do you forget to do that? One thing if you have a library book that's been sitting there for a while, but a human brain, I think you'd remember to return that. Yeah, the person who wrote it did put forgot in quotation marks. So maybe he just wanted to keep it. Was Walt doing weird things with that brain? Oh, I hope not. It would be pretty sick to have his decoration.

You can't be intimate with a brand. Yeah, I suppose. It would be a good conversation started. The family had to call a coroner. I bet. You know, probably the smart thing to do. This wasn't necessarily a weird thing, but a very cool thing. My buddy's dad passed away about a year ago or so, very sad.

But anyway, they were going through his stuff. And they found out that he was a bit of a hoarder, but he was a hoarder with boxes of cash. They were found, like, in the walls, they would find just wads of cash. Just $100 bills. Yeah, I know. It was just like open up the shoe box. Oh, it's filled with money. How cool would that be?

That sounds awesome. I mean, terrible. I know. Obviously, he'd much rather have his dad back. But when you're, you know, you might be kind of weirded out. You know, like you might see something you don't want to see, you know. But if you're open up a box and it's just loaded with 20s and a hundredos, that'd be pretty awesome. I'd be wondering if he was a drug dealer.

Yeah, you know what? Me too. My uncle was a drug dealer. And unfortunately, he passed from an overdose. but I had helped my parents clean out his apartment, and we found rolls of cash tucked everywhere. One for you, one for me. Like in shoes behind books, some kinds of stuff.

It paid for his funeral. But yeah, there's just rolls of cash running around. And one more before we got to take a break. A woman was digging through her ex's closet and found a sequin glove in a velvet case. So she asked him about it. It's his whacking glove. Oh, gosh.

That sounds dangerous. And those sequins aren't cheap. If any dance parents will be able to tell you that. Oh, yeah. They're not cheap. At first I was like, how do you know the going rate for a sequence these days? Oh, yeah. I got a buddy whose family owns a dance studio.

Okay, that makes much more sense now. Like, you know, when you see somebody driving a Brinks truck and they're carrying out the cash? Yeah. It's like that. Honestly, they have to like lock it up. Dang. Somebody's got handcuffed themselves to it because it's thousands of dollars. But apparently, so she asked about this sequence.

glove in the velvet case. And instead of just answering like a normal person, he whispered, it's better if you don't know. Dude, I would be so intriguing. And then didn't elaborate after that. Oh, what? Yucky. I got to know more.

Yeah, I'd have to know at that point. This is his killing glove? Or like Dana said, he's using it for something else. It's a whacking glove. Yeah, it's definitely a whacking glove. We've been working Nicholas today, working without my best friend, decades long on-air partner about to wrap things up on what's been a different experience this morning and quite honestly I wouldn't recommend it I would not recommend it but we wanted to be here with you even if

in a diminished capacity you know I was thinking nothing like stepping into a job you're unfamiliar with and underqualified for in front of a crowd and a crowd and a crowd with internet access and social media accounts yeah big props to you Josh not to mention when the big boss is in town oh was you really good Big bosses in town too. Earlier we were talking about bizarre things people discovered when going through other people's stuff. We covered things like a woman helping a grandma move, found three entire closets full of toilet paper dating back to the 1980s. There was a dude cleaning out his late uncle's garage and he found a preserved human brain labeled Walt in a jar.

I want to know if it was Walt's brain or that's just the pet name that he gave the brain. That's a cool name. It's probably the guy's real name. Yeah, I'm guessing it probably is, right? Nick's made it clear before he loves the name, Walt. He loves that name. That is a good name. And a woman digging through her ex's closet

found a sequin glove and a velvet case and he would not elaborate as to why he had that. Nor should he. It's his own damn business. That's right. None of her business. Why is she going through his stuff? Personally, I would be nervous to go through a loved one's stuff

for that reason. I'm afraid of what I'd find. I mean, like, I'm so odd in so many ways, but I don't even like looking at our camera to see who's at the front door. Oh, wow. I feel like I'm violating their privacy somehow. It's very strange. Okay, I get that.

I kind of feel weird doing that, too. Like, it makes me cringe. And I hate to go back to this brain, but I wonder if it might just be a joke because of the rumor of Walt Disney. Oh. And his rumor that, like, his body has been frozen. For Pete's sake, you're right. Yeah. That's got to be the Joe.

That's got to be it. What? The internet misled me. Well done, Ashley. Yeah, you're very smart. I'm sure you're right. I'm going to go to you, do all of my brain-related mysteries from now on, Ashley. I got you, dude.

You're going to be the Scooby-Doo of brains. Well, now I don't know if any of this is real, but there was a couple other that caught my attention. There's a guy who discovered his roommate had been hiding old chicken bones in a shoe box. What? He wanted to track how many he ate, meaning I'd imagine chickens. You could just count. Notes app in your phone. I don't think you have to hold on to the actual carnage.

The count was over 600 bones in there from chicken wings. Oh, man. I love chicken wings, but I don't hang on to the bones. Yeah, that's odd. That's odd behavior. Someone helping their dad clean his office found a notebook labeled Crimes I've solved. I love it. That's so cute.

So his dad wrote in there things like June 3rd, caught neighbors cat stealing from my bird feeder. Case closed. What a dork. I love it. Yeah, I absolutely love. I would love to find something like that. Oh, I bet it's some good stuff. I wish they elaborated more on what they found. Yeah, I want the whole list. I guess the dad kind of like to roleplay as a detective. Sure. Had his own little detective book. You guys ever find anything weird that a roommate had in their place? No, I luckily never lived with roommates besides significant others, and I've been pretty lucky there.

I found a giant jug of urine underneath my roommate's bed because apparently when he'd be drinking and he'd wake up in the morning and hung over, he'd be too lazy to go to the bathroom, so he just peed in this giant jug. Wait, like, was it a one-night thing or did he keep this for a while? That pee had been there a while. Just adding on to it. My husband, I don't know if he wants this to be public knowledge, but it's about to be. Yes. He told me that in college she had like a pee bottle because he was too, and I think they had a bathroom in their dorm. He was just like too lazy to go do it.

And at the time, he had a girlfriend. And I told him, I was like, I don't think she knew about it. I was like, I hope that she had enough respect for herself that if she found out you had a pee bottle, she would tell you, like, to stop doing that. That seems like kind of college type behavior. I would not be cool with that. That's just bad. I peed out a window once because I was too lazy to go out on the bathroom.

Oh, I understand that. I was going to mention in college and Moorhead, we used to pee out the window. And unfortunately, for the people below us, we were on the third floor. Oh, wow. But, yeah, we would pee out the window constantly. Did it have a screen? Why doesn't it always smell like pee? No, there's no screen.

Well, if there was, we removed them. I don't know. Okay. Peeing through a screen seems pretty dangerous. You got to have some force behind that. Otherwise, it's going to... The splashback. Yeah, I'd imagine that'd be very dangerous.

A couple more here. A woman cleaning out her great aunts home found over $18,000 and 20 bills stuffed into mismatched socks. Now, I'd mentioned at my uncle's place, we found bills all over. It wasn't $18,000. I think it was a couple grand, which still, I mean, that's a lot of money. Definitely. The family thought she died broke, but it turns out she didn't trust banks. So she kept a bunch of cash all over the place.

And finally, a guy discovered his younger brother had a secret bug zoo under his bed. There were plastic containers filled with live beetles, aunts, and a praying mantis. Wow. So he asked his brother, well, why do you have that? And the brother said, they tell me secrets. I mean, a bug would be the perfect living thing to have secrets, right? I mean, there's even a phrase, if I could be a fly on the wall. Yeah, you're right.

They probably know everything about you. One of my nieces, this just reminded me of something really creepy she used to do, there was like a lot of ladybugs around her house, and I noticed that she was like messing with them, like the dead ones. And I was like, what are you doing over here? And she had a water bottle with like a little bit of water in it. And she was like collecting the dead ladybugs. And I was like, what a they can do with that?

What's the point of that? She's just going to keep it. And I thought, all right, well, that's a future serial killer right there. I haven't heard that one before. That's a little bug Maracas around that. I might want to get them in therapy early. I mean, I was pretty psyched that like, okay, thank you for cleaning up the dead ladybugs. Because I hate ladybugs.

They freak me out. Yeah, I don't know if it's like the Asian Beatles. Technically, we get a ton of those. and box elder bugs. The box elder runs suck. To you. That's what bothers me is you can't they don't,

you can't just like move your arm and get them off. You have to like actually bat them off. I don't get, um, how they keep getting in. We've got relatively new windows and stuff like that. I wonder if somebody's inviting them in.

Oh, they get them in. They come inside the house? Yeah. Oh wow. It's the worst. Yeah, I find them all the time.

I freak out over those way more than spiders. Probably any other bug. I think my vacuum cleaner is half dog hair, half dead bug. I tried to bleach them out one year, and I don't even know if, like, bleach works. I mean, it seemed to slow a couple of them down, but my husband got so mad at me. He's, like, angry that I won't let them just, like, live their life. I don't know.

He's like, they're so nice. They don't harm you. He's like, the pita for ladybugs? Yeah, I'm like, dude, screw these things. Kill them all. With fire. Well, thank you to both of you for coming in today. I know you weren't feeling good either.

Want to miss it for the world, Josh. You're good people. Hopefully we are back at full strength tomorrow morning. Thanks again for those of you who stuck around and have a great Wednesday. The 93X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer and I think you should too.

An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. off an AC tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930.