93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Quid Pro Quo Hawk

Episode Date: June 5, 2026

Originally Aired June 5, 2026: Double creampies. Parasite pasta. Everything you wanna know about screw worms.   Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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And hey, mention 93X. Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93X-Hapast Morning Show. Jam near ready to, uh, jam near ready to put a final coat of paint on this pig and we'll call it good. Welcome to the Friday episode of the Half-A-Smart morning show. Uh, today you'll get a little bit of this and a little bit of that out of us. Hopefully it's enjoyable. I personally don't care either way. And then at 9 a.m., it'll be like we never existed. Schools out, the young people are coming undone, right? Soon they'll be running loose in the streets with their

their Phil Collins records and their breakdancing moves. Driving around in their bubble vans and their El Camino's. Get out of the way, Cubby. Summertime. I think you went back a couple of decades. I know what will put a little pep in your step. Isn't Janelle Klein supposed to join us today? Oh, I heard from her a few days ago.

Heard from her a few days ago. We'll see. Oh, it's up in the air at this point? That's what she said Monday or something. We haven't talked since. Ah, okay. Yeah, I wouldn't hold your breath, but, you know, maybe we'll get lucky. Well, I'd like to hold on a little hope.

It's always good to see Janelle Klein any day of the week. Sure, sure. She's a wonderful gal, wonderful. So, yeah, it's, like you said, the kids are getting out of school. It's summer. Next up, you know, you get all your town parties. You get the county fairs, boat parties. We got one or two of those planned, don't we?

We do. As a matter of fact, on Monday, we are scheduled to announce our 4th of July booze cruise. Sure. Info on that. What else do we do? County fairs, town parties, boat rides, state fair eventually,

and then before you know it, summer is over. It goes way too fast. What do people always say at the county fair or the state fair? They say good people watching, right? Yep. I do like the state fair bingo. I don't know where that started,

but for a long time around here, Department would put together a bingo card of some goofy things you might see. I remember like the kid on the leash, stuff like that, people eating some weird stuff in weird ways. Have you ever committed yourself to a full-on, four-alarm game of state fair bingo? I remember looking at the little sheet of paper and going, oh, that's clever, that's fun, but then I would crumple it up and throw it on the ground. Yeah, that's about as far as I went.

There's some clever ones. Of course, I can't remember any of them, but I remember some people. here were very funny with some of the stuff they came up with. Oh, sure. Like you said, you got the little kid on a leash. You got the people with the matching t-shirt so they don't lose each other. You've got the young couple who can't take their hands off of each other. The two drunk guy. Oh, I love that guy. Drunks, animal feces, vomit, a carney with no teeth. You know, they've got the standard set up. You know, and a lot of those promotions, folks, you guys know this, they're there from open to close the entire time every single day. So they've got some downtime to play. Yeah.

What else are you going to do? They deserve a two-week vacation when that's all said and done. The 93X or any other radio station promotions department has lost a lot of young lives during the state fair. A lot of young people died an untimely painful death because of the state fair. There's a time commitment there, like Josh said. The promotion staff stands there from the crack of dawn until they throw the last derelict out the joint. I don't know how they do it. I used to have to pull some serious shifts.

so we would do our morning show from the studio, and then we'd have to head right out to the fair and be at the fair from like 10 o'clock to 5 o'clock at night. Oh, my God. Awful. I would be exhausted. And then you could wake up and do it all again the next morning. What were you doing?

Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Okay. Are you sure? Yeah. I believe in a lady's first policy. Mine's pretty dumb, I guess. You go first.

Well, it wasn't going to be that great either. I was just going to ask Dana, what are you doing? Hanging out of the booth, meeting people, occasionally jumping on the air, saying, hey, if you wanted to see a couple of radio dorks come on over to the booth, that's about it, really. One of those years, weren't you unable to eat any of the food because you were, like, trying to lose weight or something?

Yeah, so the Saturday after the fair ended was my first wedding, and I had a suit fitted for me, and it was tight as it was, so I couldn't really indulge in state fair food. So when you're there for, like, eight hours, 10 hours a day, everybody's gorging around you, and I'm slowly just crying, eating almonds, just shaking, like, how much. having withdrawals from not being able to eat a corn dog. Oh, Ashley, that was miserable and miserable to be around. You have to be so strong to do that. You know, at the state fair, I'm very lucky.

My wife and I, almost, I don't know if we've ever gotten to a big fight. I don't think we ever have. But the one time I thought, I think I married a lunatic, was we were at the state fair and she started eating from her purse, tuna. She just brought out a packet of tuna and she's eating at the state fair. And I thought, what are you doing? This is the wrong place for that type of thing. I was that guy, Josh.

You were eating purse tuna? Not purse tuna, but I guess backpack carrots and almonds. Oh, man. At the state fair, they'll kick you out for something like that. Oh, no, I had to go do it to the back in the back of the booth. So nobody could see me. You got sit in a stall. Who's the mascot Fairchild or something?

He would have came and kicked my ass if he saw me eating a bag of carrots. I feel for you. There's two mascots. It's Fairchild and God dang it. The other is Fairborn. There you go. Two of them. You guys were aware of that. They're adorable, yeah. Fair Jordan. They travel together.

That's another one. Oh, God. Yeah, a lot of good stuff you mentioned coming up. Last night you talked about school being over. It was my son's last day of school, and we had the big sleepover, big party. My wife did a wonderful job coming up with all the food and decorations and stuff like that. Fun. My God, Dr. Andrea, our regular vet, was telling us yesterday, she's got 17 girls.

sleeping over tonight. And right around my son's age, I think her daughter's 13 and my son's 14. We just had five 14 year olds over last night. It was so frigging loud. Straight up misery. And it's not uncommon.

It's almost every weekend we've got to sleep over with however many of his buddies. But these guys were so loud last night. And the first thing I thought of was Dr. Andrea thinking she's in so much trouble. 17. That's so scary. Are they at the age of their sneaking chicks over in the middle

of the night? If you met these guys, no danger of chicks coming home. You don't need to worry about that. No, no, I think we're good. Two-N cheeses, by the way, now has purse tuna since she heard about my wife's purse tuna. You know what you've got to get now is a car popcorn. She has purse tuna and car poppops. That's such a dangerous thing to eat in the car.

It gets everywhere. Oh, yeah, she can't. I think I mentioned this before. I've never met anybody messier with popcorn. And she eats like one kernel at a time still gets everywhere. Can't figure it out. She's a slob. some people are

where was I recently where somebody you know tugged on my shirt sleeve we were in a big crowd and somebody said hey man this is some good people watching not that it wasn't a complete stranger it was a friend of mine and I agreed

with them where the hell was I recently where people watching came into play oh it was the Tom Kiefer show the Tom Kiefer concert there at Medina Ballroom does he bring any young people are there new fans Like his solo stuff's different. I didn't look around too intently, but I would say mostly no.

That's what made it good people watching it because it was people in their mid-50s trying to drink like it was 1988 all over again and trying to keep in rhythm with the music. That's what made it a good people-watching situation because it was people in their 50s struggling to act young and I'm no different. where do you guys like to do your people watching? Okay, we covered the state fair county fair because there's been a report here put into my lap on some of the best places to people watch.

Well, I told you guys I had to go get some blood work done and I went to a testing facility that just does that for the most. I think they do some other things, but it's primarily that. And there were some great people watching there. You were in a building that specialized in testing blood. Yeah, and it was, usually I'd go to the doctor. My neurologist usually sends me the doctor just to test my medicine levels. But for whatever, I have a new doctor or a neurologist.

He said, go to this place, which I did. And I was telling you guys that I think I'm the only person there that wasn't a parole condition. Oh, yeah. Blood check. There were some characters in there that were very intimidating. That reminds me of a place that I like to people watch, which is like the hospital lobby or whatever, the waiting room. Yeah. That's always so.

Interesting. Absolutely. I never would have thought of that one, but I've been many, I've been to many a hospital emergency room or the general waiting area. Oh, yeah. You can see folks who are obviously there because of alcohol, drugs, violence. Sometimes there's a couple of mental health situations happening. Yeah.

Good answer. I've seen that. Good friggin' answer. Up at the crack of dawn, I should have thought of this. Up at the crack of dunge, he said he works near downtown St. Paul. He doesn't need the fair for people watching. Yesterday, he saw a guy have an argument with a light post. Yeah, I drive through Midway twice a day.

It doesn't matter if it's on the day on the way home or certainly at three in the morning on the way here. There's some characters out there. The city. Yeah. Downtown anywhere. Great people watching. I don't know what it is about Midway, but yeah, if you're looking for some people watching, you'll find it there. Wow.

Another great answer. One of my favorite people watching stories concerning the city was many years ago. I think I was doing some street-related routine for the radio station, which always made me want to jump off of a building. But I was just standing and waiting for my turn on air. I was standing in the Nicolette Mall area, which I don't spend a lot of time in Minneapolis anymore other than when I hit a ball game. But that's completely changed now.

Nicollet Mall, from what I understand, used to be hustling, bustling businesses everywhere. That has changed. And from what I'm told, it's kind of an isolated area now. I don't know if you guys can. Yeah, I don't go down there. Yeah, okay. But I've heard the same thing. Yeah, right.

DeBomb Jesus said, people watching, Walmart. Hello. Yeah, a lot of Walmart. Is that website still around people of Walmart? That's an entertaining web. It's been so long since I'm not. never been on it. It rings a bell. Oh, check it out, Ashley. Absolutely. Your local department store is your local mall. Great for people. So anyway. Perkins after bar closed, says Swamp and Jesus.

Sure. Is that still a thing? I don't know. That was definitely a tradition for us. Absolutely. Perkins or Denny's at 2 o'clock in the morning. We all played that game when we were young. But back to this Nicolette Mall situation. So I'm standing in there. This is 30 years ago. There was a McDonald's. right in the mix. And I'm kind of standing across the street from McDonald's, waiting for my turn on the air. And I see this older lady kind of shuffle her way into the Macda. And she comes out after a few minutes with a beautiful, big tall vanilla ice cream cone. And I remember looking at her and thinking, oh, man, I wish I could enjoy a big, fat-ass McDonald's vanilla ice cream cone right now. She's standing there on the sidewalk with it in her hand, and she never ate it. She just began to

slowly paint her face with it. She's rubbing the ice cream cone on her forehead, and then she kind of smashes the ice cream cone under her nose, and then she painted her cheeks on her face with the ice cream cone, and then rubbed it on her chin, and I thought, get me out of here. And then That's insane. And then she screamed some satanic nonsense out into the air as well. Airport's being an airport folks are saying? People watching airport? Yes, that's a very good one.

Excellent answer. What about the beach? We don't spend a lot of time at the beach. I don't think the four of us. I don't remember the last time I've been to a beach. The beach. I like the beach. You do.

I can't recall the last time. I was that one. You catch a tan? Yeah, like a week and a half ago. Something like that, two weeks ago. College campus is another answer that's coming in. Well, I don't really want to say out loud what I'm watching when I people watch on the college campus. I don't think it's appropriate to say that anymore at my age.

No, probably not. Keep that to yourself. Keep that to yourself and your mirrored sunglasses. What about Stinking Renaissance Festival? That's a great one. That's a great answer from a lot. That's a really good one. That's a lot.

Yeah, that's a lot of fun. That is, when you're going through puberty, what a wonderful place to be at Renfest. You'll learn a lot. You can see some bosoms. What are those? Corsets? Or what are those called? Corsets, yeah.

Ah, yes, the corset, as you call it. Those are great. It is insane what they do to the boobs. If you like cleavage, that's where to go. I was never dialed into that scene. I always really liked it. But you're not like into Game of Thrones or any of that kind of stuff like I am. No, I remember when Uncle Brose.

bringing me there, bringing me and my brother and sister there when we were grade school. I mean, like third graders. And then I never made another stop there until I was in my late 30s. Oh, geez. And I did do a lot of looking around trying to figure out, well, what is this? What character are you supposed to be? It was very interesting to me, and I will agree it was good people watching, just because I had no real idea what I was getting myself into.

I dress up every year for that. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. That'd be fun to go. I'd go with you. I know how much you love it. You should. You should come with.

You guys, I mean, like, there's candles shaped like dragons. There's the glass blowing guy. Have you watched him? Puking snot back in the day? All right. So we're discussing the best spots for people watching. And our text machine is rolling. And there are a lot of great answers here that we haven't covered yet.

The gym. Oh, yeah, definitely. Dude. Yeah, I've seen some friggin, absolute crackpots. at the friggin' gym back years ago when I used to duck in there now and again. I mean, just ridiculous people. There's a couple of, like, powerlifting dudes

at a gym I used to go to, and I was pretty regular at the gym. You guys know it. And they would, they kind of walk around and give unsolicited advice to people, and they were very handsy. Oh, they always do that. So all of a sudden...

I've got that advice. Have you? Yeah. All of a sudden, like, I'd have a guy come up and kind of hug me from behind, and like grab my back to my arms like, all right, man, you really got to squeeze when you get right? Wait a minute now.

Uninvited? Don't touch me, dude. And they were the guys that would flex a lot in the mirrors and kind of do the grunting. What do you say when a stranger, uninvited, is tutoring your spotting your lift? Oh, I just said, hey, I appreciate it. I'm like, you know, I'm just, I'm no expert.

I'm kind of doing my thing here, you know? Did you still have your wallet when it was over? Yeah. Yeah, but I think I lost my virginity. He was like I said He kind of came up behind me He was basically hugging me Did he slide a digit?

Check my oil, you're asking? No, my oil was not checked. Vegas G, best people watching back in the day Mall of America, fourth level. Oh yeah. We covered the mall. Definitely, that fourth level though specifically that's a different character than the mall itself.

I love this answer. The boat launch. Yeah. I would never do that in a million years even attempt it. You can see a little bit of everything. It's not that bad thing. I mean, of course, I mean, When I think of the boat launch, I don't specifically think of watching people struggle to land their boat or anything like that.

I'm thinking about you can see a lot of drunks, a lot of arguing couples, a lot of out-of-control children. Because there's such a pile, if it's a popular lake, there's just a pile of different kinds of people either waiting to get on or off the lake. And you can see a lot of drama and things like that. Well, I'll tell you what, just like we were talking about the other day with me holding off as long as I could to drive a golf ball when there were some girls watching, if I had to back a boat at a boat launch, I would wait until there was nobody around. She'd be there all day. Oh, yeah. You go ahead. No, you go ahead.

You go ahead. There's no way I'd want somebody to watch me do that. I've only driven a trailer like once or twice. That is such an impressive skill to me, people that can do that kind of stuff, especially on one shot. There's some good ones out there. There's some skilled some bitches out there. Here's a great answer for people watching. I don't know if we didn't cover this one yet, I don't think.

The casino. Oh, good one. Yeah. Absolutely terrific people watching. It can be sad people watching too, though, when you see somebody who's clearly gambling all of their life savings away. Doesn't make me sad. That stresses me out. Not my problem.

I do think it's cute how like when somebody starts winning all of a sudden, like a little crowd forms behind them. That's adorable. Yeah, when everybody's kind of pumped for the person. Yeah. You can see a wide, wide range of human beings at the casino. That's great. Yeah, I don't know Dana and Ashley, if you've heard this story, but the first time I ever went to a casino, I walked in,

maybe five steps in and some guy was crying on the phone trying to explain to his wife how he lost everything. And I thought, boy, this is not a good start. No. Nope. I would not go back. And some have got those places where you can go and count. your paycheck.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that seems like a bad idea. The boom boom room? Sure. Love to watch folks operate at the boom, boom. Yeah, the people that are there by themselves are the most entertaining, I think. How so?

As far as just like people watching? Because you kind of wonder, like, what brought you here by yourself? Like, what are you hoping to get out of this? I used to go there quite often by myself. Sometimes it's disturbing. Yeah. That doesn't count. Because you like we're friends with everybody there.

That's what I was going to say. I developed a relationship with a lot of people there. Yeah, that's different. Okay. Yeah, that definitely helps. But sometimes it's very disturbing people watching at the strip club. Nick knows this. I saw a guy not too long ago that was getting a lap dance at the strip club.

And it was one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever watched because of his face. Oh, the facial expressions. It was doing very bad things. Yeah. Oh, that was so bad. The facial expressions can change your opinion of somebody. That ruined my dad. They can change your opinion of somebody quite quickly.

You're not kidding. Outdoor concert festivals, absolutely terrific. I mean, you can see just some gore, just straight up gore at the outdoor concert festival. A wrestling show. Oh, you know who just texted in and told us that they think that a. television wrestling show is great people watching. A guy we met a couple of months ago. Julia Hart's dad.

Oh, yeah. Awesome. Super nice guy. Julia Hart from AEW is in studio a couple months ago, and she was a great guest, and she brought her dad. And he was also a really cool guy and a nice guy to talk to. Yeah, Julia Hart's dad, I bet you've seen some concerning friggin things over the years with your daughter in the business as long as she's been there already.

I can't even imagine. Here's good advice from Iron Range Jesus, who called the city hits and six one tours. When you get to the boat landing, just look for a 21-eighter. He'll back your boat in. They'll show you how it's done. Yeah, I think by the time you're five, if you're a 21-eighter,

you know how to do that, that's for sure. How about a cheap buffet? Boy, I don't know. Usually for me it's like there's nobody under 60 when you go to like the buffets. Yeah, I'm trying to think maybe like late at night. I'm going to go ahead and chalk that up as a great spot for people watching. A cheap-ass buffet because you see some people who you will say to yourself, you're really going back up there again.

I mean, they just embarrassed themselves with. You know, it's that anything for free type attitude. You know what I mean? We've seen that over the years working in radio. People even work here. The people who will step on each other's heads to get something for free. The littleest stupidest thing. Like a limp biscuit seedie or something.

Right, right. And that's kind of when I've been at these buffets before. Everyone is so rude. Like I said, the people who will stack up so much food on their plate just because it's saving them a dollar or two. It's kind of an odd show to watch, I think. Some of you know what I'm talking about.

Oh, here's a good one. Sorry if this already came up. A hotel lobby? Oh, sure. That's a very good one. There you go. Oh, man. We got this conversation started by talking about how school is out.

I guess it's officially summer. And summer kicks in all. kinds of cool events like county fairs and town parties and all the pools open this weekend oh the the public pool oh that's a great one yeah i'm i'm super super excited about what exactly to just go to the pool you like to go to the public pool yeah absolutely love it now i have a baby that will love it too because he likes water so it'll be fun to like have somebody to hang out with and not be all alone are you going to take those uh mom and baby swim classes yeah i really want to those ones

they have to shock the pool quite often after that Yeah swim diapers are hilarious that's just that's just a catch thing so nothing floats in the water it's not protecting

like there's pee If there's a baby in a pool or just a body of water there's pee in that water I'd imagine if there's parents listening whose kids were in swimming lessons you experienced this too where about once a month

you get a call saying yeah sorry we got to shut down for a bit somebody crapped in the pool Yeah, my buddy said he can almost just bank on it. He goes, well, I can't go out that. I don't know if I can go out that night because I got swim lessons, but you know what, count me in. It'll probably get canceled anyway.

Yeah, that was pretty common. Bus station, train station. I don't have a lot of experience with either. Yeah, light rail people text in. Oh, dude, one of my best pals is a light rail pilot. And he says, it's not every other night. It's not once in a while. It's every single night that he works.

He sees something that he never thought he would. Yeah, I've got a friend. He's a dispatcher, I think, would be his title, and he says the same thing. Over-the-road truck driver, have cool will travel Jesus. He's over the road. He says just a driving is some great people watching, and he does a lot of it.

He gets a little more opportunity than the rest of us do. But just watching people in their motor vehicles is some pretty good entertainment. Yeah, thanks for the great suggestions. There's some good ones here. Later on this morning, Randy Shaver will be joining us at 7.30. Randy and I can tell you about an event this weekend that the two of us are getting involved in. It's a little town ball baseball tournament out in Cologne.

It's tomorrow, and it's another way. that Randy Shaver's raising money for his cancer research fund. I'll tell you all about it. Randy's going to be out there. I'm going to be out there for these series of town ball baseball games. I enjoy hitting that event. So there you frigging go. You want to get going for real?

No. Neither do I. I've been having fun. Oh, we were thinking a different. I was thinking, let's keep this up. But I guess we do got to pay the bills and whatnot. that whole thing. Yeah, we'll get going for real with the bill paying and the this, that, the stupid

news, we'll return in a few minutes on the half-ass morning show. 93. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part

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Let's go. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. What will we jaw jacking about earlier? Oh yeah, we were talking about people watching. Where can you get your best people watching? We covered things like the State Fair, Walmart, downtown anywhere. Great spots for people watching. The Renaissance Festival, this and that.

Some text messages have come in. 651-989-93. The folks at Luther Bloomington of Kia provide us our wonderful text machine. Here are some of the messages that have come in. Hopefully we didn't cover any of these yet. These are other great spots. According to our listening audience, great spots for people watching. Cruise ship.

I haven't been on one of those I mean I've watched the love boat That's my only experience How was it that Doc was the guy that got all the squish on the love boat? You know I wondered that my saying makes absolutely zero sense Even as a kid I didn't understand it Zero sense But maybe everyone has that buddy

Where you're like how is he so successful? What does he got? When they were casting that show Why did they choose that actor to play the doctor? who was just dripping with beautiful women. Doesn't make it, if you're an older person right now, you're not, you're nodding your head. If you're older, you understand why. No offense to that actor, he did a fine job.

Yeah. All right, cruise ships. He's still alive. Is he? 92. I took one ride on a cruise ship. Wait, this doesn't make sense. Right.

You're looking at Doc? Yeah, what? Yeah, again, no offense to the guy, but I think he'd even agree. I'm not your typical lay. man looking dude. Guy was a friggin' dork. That makes no sense. Whatever.

I took one ride on a cruise ship 30 years ago. And it was all right. But if I was to pick, if I was to pick out what people I did keep an eye on while I was on this giant ship, it wasn't the customers, it was the staff. The staff was interesting to watch. Oh, they're all boning.

Yeah. Well, yeah, we hear rumors. Oh, for sure, Dana. What else are you going to do? They just scissors all night long when they're off duty. Are they all kind of like actors on the side maybe? See, that's what made them interesting is, number one, to be trapped on this ship going from one end to the earth to the other, doing that for a living. I think you've got to be a little different.

But you're right, Josh. They all struck me as these amateur entertainers. And this was their way of breaking into, because at least on the. ship that I was riding on, they did little songs and dances for us. It was really odd. That sucks. So my sister did that on a cruise ship for a little while. And you've told me before she ain't all there.

No, there's other people in my family. She's all there, but she's very creative and into acting and stuff like that. So it was a good fit for her. You're right. They struck me as like these L.A. type of people who were. biting their time before they hit it big on a sitcom or something. They sung for us, they danced for us. I mean, when they, one hour into the boat ride,

one of them got on a microphone and said, hey, everybody, welcome to the giant boat ride. We're going to be heading off for wherever we went, the Bahamas or something. But first, we need to cover the rules, the safety rules. I can't think of the word. We got to cover the rules and the safety this and that, right? And then they bust it out into song.

Boom, bump, bump, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, bum, boom. The life jackets go around your neck. The bathrooms are low-ocated over here and over there. If you have to puke, there's a bag on the wall and don't have anal sex with your neighbor. They sang us a little song about the rules of the boat. Dude, I would be absolutely losing it. I would almost hope there was an emergency. so I could go through that song of my head to remember what to do.

If you're not prepared for that, I'd be dying. Nobody on the boat was prepared for this other than the... Oh, my God. My jaw dropped, and they're dancing and they're singing. I would be tipping them so fat because I would feel so bad for them. There was a verse in there about the weather, you know, if the seas get rough. There was a verse in there about, you know, if someone falls overboard, where can you find a life? Savor, life, life saver.

One over here and one over there. You throw it. There's a rope connected. You call the captain. I couldn't believe it. Have you guys been to a cold stone in a while? Oh, dude, yes. They had one of my neighborhood cubby, then they upped and took it away.

Oh, I'm so sorry. What happens over there? Yeah, we used to go a lot. I don't know why we haven't in a while, but. I get it delivered a lot. Oh, you can have it delivered? Yeah. Well, 2026.

Gordash, baby. You're pretty sweet sometimes. There was a guy that used to go to my neighbor. He was a big tall guy with glasses. He was a doctor and he got all the ass. Did he really? Isaac should have been getting all the ass on the love boat. Why did you bring up Coldstone?

So I almost didn't want to tip them for their own benefit because when you did, somebody would ring a bell and sing. And I don't know if it was, I'd assume that's kind of what they do with all of them. But they would have to do that. So I'd tell them, hey, you know, you don't have to sing if you don't want when you drop a couple of bucks in the tip bucket. If the ice cream maker received the tip, they would then sing to you. Yeah, they would sing.

So it sounded like this. They rang a bell first. Yeah, then they'd start singing. And then they'd say, I don't want to wait. No, no, they didn't sing that. For my life to be over. They didn't want to be crying in line. Texas Roadhouse does that too.

They do like that little line dance. Not if you tip, they just do it. I was saying to be exhausting. Yeah, they do like a little, cute little line dance. According to our listeners, here are some other spots that are great for people watching. Truck stops. My deceased over-the-road truck-driving father spent a lot of his days at truck stops.

I remember asking him once because for me personally, the weirdest element to the truck stops is the showers. Oh, no. I didn't know that was a thing. You didn't know they had showers at the truck stop? I guess it never really gave it much thought. Yeah, I guess it makes sense. I don't stop at truck stops. That's not a safe choice for a woman.

I think. And I asked my dad once years ago, I said, did you, did you take a shower at the truck stop? And he said no. Oh, that's good. Yeah. That's like guaranteed athlete's foot. Going tubing. Oh, yeah.

The last time I went tubing, well, it was the only time I've ever gone tubing. There was some good people watching at the end. I watched the guy, like, try to climb a hill no less than 10 times. drunk trying to get out of the river just kept going back down, kept going back down. He just couldn't make it to the top of that hill? No. I'll let, yeah, I've only tube down the Apple River once and I thought, well, I'm not

cut out for this. Oh, really? Only one time? Just one time. Oh, we would go there. When we were young, we would go there every summer, two or three or four times a summer, and it was just lawless. And I remember thinking, boy, we thought we were hillbillies. You know what I mean? Until you... I'm still paying for a phone.

at the bottom of the Apple River. You dropped your phone? No, I did it. My kid did. She lost her phone and we're still on the payment plan. Oh, you went there as a. She went in high school. No, maybe it must not have been high school because it was just a couple of years ago.

You brought up your kid. I thought maybe you went there. Yeah, my daughter. You went there as a parent. No, I haven't been there since high school. My mom. I was not prepared. Somebody should have given me a heads up.

I've heard it was, they just said, oh, it's a fun time. You got to go. I wasn't ready for how crazy they're going. I don't know how the hell we. all made it out of there alive. I don't either. My mom warned me about that place when I was younger, so she must have had some serious times there because she always

told me that if I went there in high school, right after high school, that I would get an STD. So to stay away from there. It wasn't a bad, it wasn't a bad guess on your mom's part. I was like, what? What are you talking? So I just stayed away for the longest time. Was she talking about just being in the water would give you an STD?

Yes. She was probably talking about the folks who go there, but... I think she just just meant Wisconsin in general. Oh, probably. Yeah. Somebody, speaking to SDD, somebody said, good people watching the STD clinic. Oh, yeah. That's been a long time for me, but yeah, that's true. The look of regret and shame on people's

faces. I've never been there. And every time I've caught an STD, I've just chosen to ignore it. I thought you went to the red door once. No, I called them on the telephone. Oh, that's as far as you got. Thanks to your advice. I used to go there and just to be safe in between partners, you know,

which sometimes was three, four times a day. Look at you. As you can imagine. 25 years ago, I had something going on downstairs. My gear was just mangled. It was one of those Sunday mornings where I woke up and I looked down into my shorts and I said, oh, Jesus, balls, I did it this time. There were things down there.

There were bumps down there. There was this. There was that. And I said, oh, no. I finally did it. So I called Josh and I said, you know all those jokes that people trade back and forth about the red door clinic? Nick, is that just a joke or is it real?

And he said, no, it's real. I said, really? Because it is. Yeah, well, I don't know if it's still around. Oh, well, at least 25 years ago. And so I gave him a call on the telephone. And I said, I got this and that and this happening down there. I called them.

And they helped me. Eventually, I did go see a legitimate doctor. And it was nothing. And you were all good. It was absolutely nothing. I couldn't believe it. I was so sure that I had. had cashed in my genitalia for life.

And my doctor took one look at it and said, no, that's not an STD, that's this or that. Josh, you are really, like, that's, you're really responsible going to get tested in between partners. I don't just seem like, were you being serious about that? Yeah. Like if I knew, if I thought, I'm going to go all the way with that person.

I figured I'd make sure I have a clean bill of health. Yeah, I think most people, and correct me if I'm wrong, It's just like every once in a while. Oh. Well, I also wanted to make sure I wasn't pregnant. I don't know how the human body works, but, you know, I worried about that as well. Oh. Oh, no.

More spots to people watch here from the brother and sisterhood. Any type of automobile race. That's a great answer. Oh, yeah. You go to your demolition derby. You go to your stock car race, maybe even your motorcycle race, maybe even your this, that. I've always felt like those are my people. I've got a bunch of motorheads in my family.

and my uncle worked at Brainerd for a long time. You know, he was somebody in charge of making sure all the vehicles were legal to get out there, ready to get out there. Maybe your tractor pull? Oh, tractor pull. Great people watching. Oh, this is funny. This person said my one crappy trip to the Apple River ended in me sharding my shorts on the church bus ride home.

Oh, no, man. Ah, poor guy. We covered this already, I think, by talking about the Apple River. Someone said, a campground. is great people watching. Absolutely. Your neighborhood courthouse. Maybe we covered that one already. Church. Yeah, you see some characters at church. I don't have a lot of experience, but when I was a kid. But I hated that environment in general. God, we hated going to church, my brother and I. We would fight to the death to not have to leave the house to go to. One thing I've learned is good people watching now that I have a child is the park.

Oh, yeah. The park is really good people watching. How many stupid news stories or how many stories does Josh tell in his news report that originated at the park? Yeah, quite a few. And finally, for people watching, someone texted in with just one word here, Josh. Hopkins. Sure. I've been to that Raspberry Festival before.

There's some people watching. I love that festival. You know, fun-sized she's just brought up a good point. Our boat cruises. Not like it used to be. No. But if you, I mean, Bo Crues in 1999, 2000, 2001. Disgusting.

I mean, Apple River, people that tube down the Apple River were afraid to go on that thing. Our crowd, including us. Oh, we were disgusting. I'm not separating ourselves. I'm kind of glad I missed it. The entire crowd, including ourselves, was disgusting in the late 90s and early 2000s. Now, it's just a bunch of 45-year-old sitting in a lawn chair. It's the way I'd want it now.

It's perfect. Where people, they turn the music down and we, totally agree. I still think they could turn the music down a little more. I also agree with that. My oldest son, it was weird, when he was old enough to be able to go to one of our events. And when he turned 21,

it was pandemic time. Couldn't go. So then finally he gets a chance to go and he was kind of like, well, what happened to all these stories you used to talk about? And I explained, it's a different time right now. It's so much better. But he wanted all that crazy action that you... And you know, we've heard

from younger guys that get on that thing that say the Yes, we've heard that a few times. Well, where's all the strippers? You guys tell these stories about I'm like, we're in our 50s now. That was 25 years ago. What do you want us to do? I mean, you missed it. Sorry, you missed it. You blew it. You were too young. Before we move on, and we got a couple stupid news stories to tell. We were talking about the Apple River and just tubing in general. One of the craziest things I ever saw. I mean, yeah, you want to talk about people watching. One of the craziest things I ever saw was late, late at night in the campground. Christ, the sun was damn near ready to come up, but we weren't done drinking yet.

Neither were the people camping directly next to us. And that's when a fight cut out, or cut loose, I should say, a fight cut loose in the campsite next to us. It was an able-bodied dude punching the living hell out of another guy. Son of a bitch, I'll kill you, you bastard. And the other guy was in a little. a wheelchair. You can't do that. You can't do that. That's why a couple of us rushed over and

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Yeah. Oh, you're a tough guy, aren't you? We all went rushing over there. What are you doing? I hope he regretted that the next day. I mean, I think everybody's had those moments of regret the next day, but luckily I've never beat somebody up like that.

The guy in the wheelchair said, Jesus, thanks, boys. I thought that was it for me. Ashley, did you have a friend that got out of? of control at the booze crews last year? I wouldn't call him my friend. It was one of my husband's buddies. It was two years ago, I think it was. And he ended up drinking too much and throwing up over the railing.

It was rather embarrassing, and I yelled at him for it. I guess I told them, like, hey, you know, keep your stuff together. Don't be embarrassing. There's always got to be one. But he decided to pregame with like four tall boys. I was like, no wonder you were. I didn't know you drank before this, man. Now, you've uninvited him to any future cruises, correct?

We don't want him. Have we all had that friend who's shown up at a 93X event, and we had to tell him, you got to chill out or you just are never coming back? Yeah. Probably. I don't remember one of my friends being, but probably. I do, but it was somebody I never would have anticipated, ever would have expected, would act like that.

Ashley's very first Independence Day booze cruise here with the radio station. I love this story because we pumped Ashley and the other characters who were working here at the time. We pumped them good before the crew started and we said, you know, this is a beer party. Have all the fun imaginable. But always remember that we represent the radio station. Don't be a frigging jag off. Don't be a buffoon. Don't be a drunken mess.

Yes, we're 93X. We're a rod station and all that crap. You know, we, but we still represent the company. Keep your S in line. Okay? We're walking onto the boat. This is Ashley's very first booze cruise. I was behind Ashley and her group of friends.

None of them knew I was there. And I overheard Ashley say to all their friends. First off, you said, okay, stop. And you made all of your friends stop walking. And you said, I like this job and I like these guys. If any of you idiots, do anything to F this up for me, I'll kill you. I thought that was just hill. That is funny. And that's so you.

I say that to everybody that comes to any event with me. So people are bringing up the time Dana was incredibly hammered. That was so much fun. Dana wasn't out of control. Dana was just on a different plane of existence. You were so goofy. Yeah, you were goofy and so, like it seemed like you weren't sure where you were. And that was kind of, was that on your birthday or was right around?

It was on my actual birthday. Okay. Yeah. So you had been partying all day. all day, but definitely beforehand for sure. I remember that. I've never seen you that out of it before. You struck me on that day as if at any moment you would just drift off to sleep.

You look so sleepy. Yeah. I was trying to talk to you. I don't think you knew there was people in the room. I loved it. And that's great. I'd rather have a drunk just get sleepy than climb the walls on me. Yeah.

If I say I was doing a press conference, you know, as a manager of a baseball team about that night, I'd say, yeah, you know, going in with that, we had a good game. but things got away from us early. We made the decision to not eat dinner. I'll wait until I get on the boat. Of course, that never happens. You never eat when you're on the boat. And we never could recover from that point. A couple ill-advised shots were taken that were bought for me,

and we just couldn't recover. Yeah, I don't even know if you'd be able to be that eloquent. Well, that'd have to be the day after press conference. You must have been hurting the next day. Let's knock out a couple of stupid news stories here on F-Off Day. It's Friday. it's the final final. Let's try to knock a couple of these pigs out.

This type of deal is always satisfying. When ass clowns bust a spring in public, you know, some kind of jag off, gets all buckwild. And then a highly trained MMA fighter just happens to be nearby. And the MMA guy uses his lethal skills to tear the some bitch's limbs right off for him. I love that kind of story. Love it. A Frontier Airlines plane ride

went to hell a day or two ago. A maniac jagoff tried to pry the door open mid-flight. That old gimmick. He was trying to pry the door open. He didn't want to be on the airplane anymore. He wanted to jump out. 30,000 feet. And the MMA guy

sat in there on the airplane, he tagged himself in and he smeared this dumb bastard. This video is on 93X.com. Check that out. You know, movies back in the day would be, is there a doctor on the plane? Now you've got to ask if there's an MMA guy on the plane with all these nutcases charging the cockpit and trying to open doors and things like that. It's so badass, though.

Thanks to the Anderson Silva Chuck Liddell type of guy on the airplane. The pilots were able to get everyone safely to their destination, which I believe, not that it matters, but I believe their destination was Miami. So once on the ground ski, the police arrested a 51-year-old, the dude who was effing with the door. his name is Juan apparently along with

fingering at the airplane door which is not cool at all Juan also choked the piss out of a flight attendant and like Josh just said he did try to bang his way into the cockpit and

he took a big old piss on the floor of the plane's bathroom so thankfully the Randy Couture George St. Pierre guy was there, or there could have been some real trouble. The M.M.A. Pimp goes by the name of John, John versus Juan, when the cops asked him about pulling both of Juan's arms out the socket. John said, quote, it was my duty to do that. John is a former professional mixed martial arts fighter and a Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt. Have you ever, you have have experience with all of that, Josh. Have you ever fought John? No. I've seen some black belts

in action, certainly, and I wouldn't mess with them. I mean, John even had a jujitsu shirt on. You don't want to mess with that guy. The guy should have checked that out before he tried to open the door. John said about one, it was like holding down a kid throwing a tantrum. But he screamed when I yanked his arm out the socket for him. John also said that this is the the first time he's used his killer arm out the socket move outside the ring. First time he's used that arm out the socket trick away from the octagon. The dude who got whooped won. He's never allowed to fly ever again.

And he's going to need a nurse to wipe his ass for him over the next two months. He popped them both out I can't imagine how much that would hurt Left arm first Pop, he pulled that one out And he moved over to the right arm Weep He pulled that one out of the socket

So easy It is? No, I mean for him to do Not me, no no no Gotcha Pulled them right out of the Yeah those stories Are always fun

And just my luck Someday I'm probably going to be that Crack open the airplane door At 30,000 feet guy Nah, you won't. You're too smart. And the entire UFC World Championship staff will be on the, and half of the WWE, they'll just beat me within an inch of my life.

Staying with those airplane rides. God dang it, Cubby, some poor bastard had his pecker burned about half off by piping hot airplane coffee. Oh, man. Mm-hmm. That stuff is so sketchy. Every time I get it, I'm instantly nervous. God help us all.

He's known by the name Nicholas, this guy. He's riding on an airplane this past December. I think that's what I understand. This happened last December. He says, the incident has made it so his life will never be the same again. Someone spilled lava hot airplane coffee, a, quote, lidless cup of coffee,

hit him square in the Johnson. I don't know how people drink super hot coffee. I'm not good with that. If it comes with a skin graft, my wife's interested. If it's any colder than that, she's not. The same way. the same way? Yep, I like really, really hot things. I don't understand. My wife does the same

thing. She, as soon as dinner is out the oven, she is forking it towards her yap, and I like my food, more or less lukewarm. She finishes, she finishes dinner before me every single time because she

just loves a hot, hot meal. I don't get it. I wait for that big to cool way down. That's my style. I mean, I can't even, like, touch her coffee cup. It's so hot. I put it in the microwave if it's, like, out of the oven for longer than, like, a minute. Oh, wow. Yeah, I have a problem.

Uh? Yeah. So this hot, hot coffee hit Nicholas right in the rod, the old Schwannstooker. And he says, now it's deader than disco. As you might have guessed, he's suing the airplane company. here's what Nicholas said about this terrible situation, the terrible toll this has taken on his life. He used to take care of his mother full time.

That's how he made a living. His mother has certain issues, and it was his job to take care of her. But now we can't. He says the pain is too much. It's too much. Just burns in general, and poor folks who get those terrible burns,

I can't imagine on an intimate area like that. He said immediately after the incident, he was given some painkillers by the airplane folks. They gave him some painkillers, and they gave them some loose-fitting pajamas. They dumped some water in his lap. And then, this is very intimate, but supposedly true, the airplane staff, what do you call them, the flight attendants,

they applied some type of burn cream to his wad, for him. That's nice of them. Yeah, they're trying. He says he was told there would be what he called here medical support when they landed the airplane.

But Nicholas says that never happened. When he got off the airplane, it was crickets. He thought maybe there'd be an ambulance, a burn unit, a doctor. He says none of that happened. By the time they landed,

he said his wad had blistered up so much and the bandage that they put on his pecker. Oh, they put a band-aid on him. I didn't catch that the first time. The bandage that they put on his pecker had fallen off. Excellent. He says there's been no follow-up telephone calls, no correspondence, no nothing with the airplane company.

The burn healed, but he said the whole works had a, quote, massive effect on his life and his mental health. Nicholas got a lady, you know. Claire. He's been trying to knock her up, but his toxic avenger-looking pee-pee now, it isn't getting it done. He can't be slamming back and forth like that. Too much pain.

Just stay calm, Jesus. Yeah, I was thinking this too. Of course, the super famous case of the woman who spilled McDonald's coffee in her lap, third-degree burns, she sued, and she won a lot of money. I remember us talking about this, couple times and we thought, oh, that's kind of silly. How bad could it be? And the brother and sisterhood clarified how bad it was.

It was bad. Like, I had no idea. It seemed like maybe it would be kind of silly. Like, of course, coffee's going to be hot. But my goodness, what happened to that poor lady? People like to cite that as like, oh, frivolous lawsuit. Everybody, you know, nobody wants to work. They just want to sue a company and make money.

But that woman's life was drastically changed that day. That's what I thought at first. I feel like a jerk. I mean, I thought the same thing. Like, it's silly, but oh my goodness. If somebody deserved a couple of bucks, it was that woman. The airplane people said that they're sorry. I mean, that makes a difference.

That helps. It doesn't bring your wiener back. Like, hey, you're the idiot. They didn't say that. All right, before we go. Cubby, did you want to include this here story because it involves the words cream and pie, and maybe you're trying to get over your fear of that word combination? No, I'm glad you separated that.

Cream pie? You put it together. So gross. Can you eat the little Debbie snack or are you just that afraid of the name? Those are so good. I can eat the little Debbie snack. That stuff turned down. Here's what happened.

A woman in Colorado. She went to a local farm stand type of a scene. You guys know what I'm talking about. She stopped by the local stand. And she started stealing all the cream pies. It's weird. She just filled a large bag. smooth up with freshly made oatmeal cream pies there at the farm stand,

and she also stole some other things. Oh, did you eat those cream pies I brought you a little while ago? I'm sure I did. I don't have any memory of this. Yeah, when we were talking about it, I just happened to see them at the grocery store. So Little Debbie's. Yeah, Little Debbie's. I can clean out a box of Little Debbie cream pies before you can say Jack Robinson.

They go down easy, don't they? Yes, they do. Ah. So the... I'll help you out. you don't have to text. Your mom goes down easy. All right, you don't even worry about texting. I get it.

It's hurtful. Thanks for thinking about it. You jerks, every single one of you. The woman walks into this little farm set up, roadside stand. She steals all the cream pies. The farm people had a camera in there. So, you know, her sleazy crime was all recorded. The lady who owns this stand.

She didn't know really what to do. until the same stupid crooked-ass lady came back to the stand a few weeks later. And the owner confronted her and said, hey, bitch, you here to steal some more cream pies? And the lady ran away. That's hilarious. Yeah. I've been foiled. Exactly what I was picturing.

I was, but not anymore. But that video footage was given to the local police and they were able to locate this idiot. And they put the whoop down on her. I wonder what kind of cream pies she likes best, like the real wet and sloppy cream pies. Or it's just kind of oozing out. Yeah. You ever seen a double cream pie? Stop it.

Oh, man. Have you seen a double cream pie? Absolutely. You don't forget seeing a double cream pie. You know, the lady who ran the farm stand and this thief, they could have maybe bonded just through a conversation. Maybe the farm stand lady could have said, you know, you and I could both make our own cream pies together if we wanted to.

I'm not even going to entertain this conversation. I know what you're doing. I could have a cream pie. At the same time, you have a cream pie. Just one big group, cream pie. Yuck. What's wrong with you guys? Just trying to get cubby to fold.

Two ladies can't make a cream pie? Oh, yes, they can. How? I'll show you how. A little video. Actually, can two ladies make a cream pie? No, I don't think so. They can make their own cream pie.

I'm not trying to say ladies can't do anything because they can, but I don't think they can make their own. cream pie. Over here. You don't know nothing about cream pies. Sports on the 93 eggs half-assed morning show. What's going on here? What's up?

Congratulations. What the hell? On behalf of the NHL, Marcus, you are the recipient of the Kentucky Awards. I feel like we should be the recipient of the kick fancy awards. Thank you. Leadership on and off the ice. Thank you. Thank you. And tearing the contribution.

Proud of you, man. Thank you. It's just the most adorable damn thing going in town, and he belongs to us. Marcus Polino, our pal, here on the halfast morning show, Marcus Polino yesterday, was surprised by his brother, Reggie. What the hell is his brother? Nick. His brother, Nick, surprised Marcus by giving him the old King Clancy Trophy.

Marcus Polino was named the recipient of the 20 and 25, then 26, King Clancy Memorial Trophy. That's really good. away every year for a player who exemplifies leadership on and off the ice. Noteworthy humanitarian contributions come into play when they consider who to hand the King Clancy Trophy off to. And as we all know, Marcus and his brother raised piles and piles of money for cancer. Caring for cancer patients, I think specifically breast cancer. Their mother passed away due to breast cancer years ago. Marcus and Nick do all kinds of work in the community.

So well-deserved accolade for Marcus. And we can tell you more about the details of what happened yesterday where Nick surprised Marcus. We can tell you some more about that at 730. But we're very happy and proud of Marcus. He's the cutest thing ever. Watching that video, that was just the first thing that came to my mind, what you said, Nick.

Just adorable. I love people like Marcus where they're just, They're so well-rounded. I mean, he's this tough guy on the ice. But, you know, off the ice, he's such a sweetheart. His brother, too. Nick could have easily gotten that award, too. He's won it in the past.

Yeah, Nick won it a few years ago? Cool. Yeah, so Marcus later on in that video that the Wilde put out or the Nchelle put out, he said it's just so cool having your name on a trophy with the same minute or with your brother. Right. Hey, Josh, on a side note, do you remember my cousin John? Yeah, that we used to work here? Yeah.

Yeah, I just talked to him not too long ago. Where'd you run into him? Well, actually at your mom's service. Oh, Jesus. Anyone who knows my cousin John tell him, I said word up, maybe he's listening. He and Marcus Felino have the exact same speaking voice. There's no way you'd be able to tell him apart. Yeah, you know what?

Just an odd side note. He does sound like that. My cousin John and Marcus Felino, absolutely identical speaking voices. I also loved him the video. He walks in, he sees his surprise. He figures out what's going on. He's holding his daughter. And he's like, oh, what the hell?

That was adorable. Yeah, it was a cute video. Oh, when he was surprised by that. Yeah. He's got his daughter in his hand. Nice work, Marcus. Oh, another great hockey game last night. These are things we'll cover here when Randy Schaever stops by in a half hour.

Great hockey game last night. Kind of an ugly game for the twins, NBA Final Final Game 2 tonight. And also when Randy Shaver pops by, I think Brad Riders too. Josh, we'll get a chance to talk about two of our favorite all-time athletes, Russell Wilson and Tom Brady. Hey, sweet. Let's ride. What a Friday treat.

And let's go. Let's ride and let's go. Cubby's news is next. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life.

That's where our friends at Standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer.

Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-L-K-E-L-L-K-E-L-L-C-E-L-S-E-L-SEN golf. You guys know how much I really, really love golf. Full-Send golf, 2V-2, me and V-O-D versus Big John and Kyle. Oh, it feels good to be back.

On the Lengths with the boys. Join the party on the golf course. Oh. Back to golf in a big way. Now what? Practice. Let's go. Let's hit the range.

I was like, let's go to the range. We are headed to the golf, Korea. You want to golf with us? No. You don't play golf? No. Try. We got to break par.

Very, very excited. You excited? Yeah. Bullsen Golf. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. They're gross. They're offensive. And kids on the road see them. Half-ass morning show.

93X. If he crashed into the beach, I mean, he could have killed, you know, family. So I think somebody like that shouldn't be allowed to fly. You know what, lady? I agree. A daredevil pilot claimed he lost control of his single-engine plane and wound up dive bombing over a South Carolina beach. Sending the terrified sunbaters, scrambling for cover,

and turning a relaxing beach day into an impromptu disaster drill. 50-year-old William Williamson III, why did they do that to him, was flying over Polly's Island when he apparently veered dangerously close to the shoreline, close enough to shave bikini lines. He turned, and he just sort of zeroed in on us, like he was dive bombing and just headed straight for us. So close, we sort of dove out of our beach girls,

because we literally thought he was going to crash into, to the beach. One witness said she thought the plane was going to flatten a family relaxing near the water. Others watched in disbelief as the aircraft nearly clipped a row of beachfront homes, and the stunt attracted plenty of attention. A town councilman and the town's police chief were both on the beach to witness the Yahoo with the yoke. Meanwhile, a sharp-eyed beachgoer managed to capture the plane's tail number, a detail that would come back to haunt that pilot.

When contacted by the FAA, Williamson claimed ice had formed on one of the plane's carburetors, and he was just attempting to de-ice it. During the process, he said a control knob suddenly popped off. The investigator, however, said he was full of it. Pilots are specifically trained, the FAA said, to keep their aircraft pointed toward the water or fly parallel to the shoreline when preparing for a potential emergency landing, not an unscheduled appearance by the Blue Angels' least qualified applicant,

crowds of unsuspecting beachgoers. The FAA later sent him a letter giving him 30 days to respond, but he never replied. After the deadline passed, the judge approved a warrant for his arrest. I don't like the idea of people effing off behind the wheel of one of those airplanes. Me either. Josh, if you were on this beach, how excited would you be? Oh, seeing something like that? Yeah.

Well, you know, I want a trained pilot. Well, I suppose he probably is a trained pilot. But, you know, somebody that's not going to dive bomb innocent folks. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. But I agree it did look kind of cool. Yeah, like a little bit. Yeah.

I mean, first and foremost, silly you'd ever picture me at the beach. But, yeah, if I was at a beach and saw something like that, I would hope he was some sort of stunt pilot that I just didn't know as part of a show. I can picture you at the beach maybe when you're about 75, 80 years old with one of those metal detectors. Yeah. Maybe I'll get into that. That looks like so much fun. I want a metal detector.

Another bottle cap. Right. A Florida man who wasn't thrilled with the price quote he received for a beachside wedding ceremony expressed its displeasure in a very modern way by beating the Jesus out of the 69-year-old wedding officiant. The victim and his employee were packing up about 2.30 p.m. Sunday, May 17th, after finishing a beach wedding, when 35-year-old William Wells approached them. them. According to investigators, Wells had been quoted $500 for a beach wedding. And apparently, that shoreline sticker shock caused him to lose his freaking mind. So the wedding was already over?

This is a different wedding. And the guys like, oh, that looks sweet. Oh, sure. What do you charge for something like that? I got you. Deputy said Wells started yelling at the officiant, calling him names and telling him he was rude. When Wells noticed the victim was recording the confrontation on his cell phone, he swatted both the man and the phone, and then, Wells began the walloping. One of the blows struck the officiant in the tummy, knocking the wind out of him. Wells then threatened to, quote, call his boys, warning they would arrive before deputies and were, quote, going to get him.

After the beach side beach slap, Wells kept screaming and cursing at the victim before driving off, but dispatchers broadcast a get Wells card and get Wells they did. Deputies tracked him in no time. Investigators noted he has multiple prior arrests and convictions tied to a assaults, and he's previously been arrested for fleeing and alluding along with several drug-related charges. This guy sounds squirly. It sounds like maybe he just kind of hangs around waiting to hear something that he doesn't

like so he can beat someone into oblivion. Yeah, he's got a quick temper, apparently so. You don't want to spend that kind of money, then don't. Yeah, I mean, exactly. Find somebody else. Right. He's a 35-year-old beating up a dude near 70 who didn't have it coming, that's for sure. deputies with the Florida Sarasota County Sheriff's Office responded to a Walmart yesterday morning

after a 911 caller reported hearing what sounded like a gunshot inside the store. The caller told dispatchers they heard a loud popping noise and spotted a trail of blood near the bathrooms at the front of the building. Uh-oh. At that moment, everyone was thinking the same thing, active shooter. But what they didn't realize at the time is that it was actually the end of some poor guy's penis. deputies evacuated the store and searched for a possible suspect, only to discover there wasn't one. A short time later, a man suffering from an apparent gunshot wound of the privates

showed up at Sarasota Memorial Hospital. Oh, no. Surveillance video revealed the entire sequence of unfortunate events. Deputy said the footage showed a man walking into Walmart while a unholstered handgun was tucked into the waistband of his shorts. For Christ's sake, he shot himself in the brajole, didn't he? Yeah, he was trying to adjust. the gun discharged, the bullet struck him in the leg and the wiener.

Oh, the old cheddar bob from eight mile. I don't remember. He shot himself in the penis. Exactly what this guy at Walmart did. Oh, at Walmart? No, no, on the street corner. But yeah, the same situation. Eminem's buddy in eight miles shot himself in the weaner.

Oh, so I've seen the movie. That seems like somebody should remember. The bad news is one guy's meat got spread across the bakery aisle. The good news is police determined there was no active threat to the public, just a negligent discharge and an unfortunate circumcision. Was that dude ever going to get his pecker back? Boy, I don't know. It's not looking good.

No, the cops, they did kind of say, hey, dude, how about you get a proper holster? Don't put it in your waistband. While one guy's personal property value took a significant hit, property values around Walmart stores tend to move in the opposite direction. Here's a random Walmart fact. Historically, within two and a half years of a Walmart being built, homes within a mile of the store increased in value by one to three percent. Well, that is just wonderful.

I was just thinking the other day, not about Walmart, but about how cool it would be to live close to a Target. There's some apartments by the Target that I go to in my neighborhood, and I'm always like, God, that must be nice. And also, you must be broke because I would be at Target every single day buying stuff I don't need. Well, I was going to ask you if you think maybe that'd be a curse because you'd be there buying so many things. A blessing and a curse. Can I tell you a fun Target story from a few years ago? Yes. I love anything about Target.

I rolled up into the parking lot, and there was 10 or 12 teenage kids running as fast as they could towards the target. And I thought, what the hell's going on in there? And then I saw some more kids kind of running out and running in. And I had to ask them, what's going on? And they said, Jimmy Butler's in there. Oh, wow. Whoa. Did you see?

And you thought, that's my time. Former Timberwolf. Jimmy Butler was, yeah, I went in there. I didn't see Jimmy Butler. I didn't go looking for him. I mean, I thought there must have been a fire or a fight or something going on. And I said, hey, teenage kid, what the hell you guys running on? Jimmy Butler!

I've seen a couple of former professional athletes there, Maya Moore of the Links. Oh, cool. I was starstruck by that. Anthony Tolliver. Oh, I loved Anthony Tolliver. Yeah, yeah. So I'm at Target. Anthony Tolliver, former Timberwolf.

former Viking Ezra Tua Olo. Oh my God. I almost literally ran into him turning a corner. And I would not have fared well in that collision. One time I was in Wizzetta for J.J. Hill Days. That's the town party in Wizetta. And you know who was walking down the sidewalk with his gorgeous lady? Who that?

DeAngelo Russell. Get out of town. Yeah. And then we watched him go by. And then this little kid on his bicycle came screaming because, you know, I think the kid saw me see D'Angelo, right? He saw my face. I was kind of following.

that's DeAngelo Russell. And the kid rides up on his bicycle and he goes, is that DeAngelo Russell? And I said, yeah, I think it is. And the kid said, cool. That is cool. Very cool. A mother in Florida is suing the Campbell Soup Company and Walmart after claiming she found moving parasites in a can of, uh-oh. SpaghettiOs.

Don't, I don't want to know those. Moving parasites. Oh, dude, I mean, it's one thing just to have parasites in there, but they were swimming around. Looking at her and stuff. Ooh, wow. Spaghetti-Os. I bet you used to bomb a bucket of SpaghettiOs when you were... Oh, dude.

Yeah. Just throw your own hot dogs in. There's spaghetti. So good. Dude, yes. First real job I had out of high school was at a warehouse with a bunch of hard, hardcore, derelict bastards, you know, tough guy type characters in this warehouse. And I was, you know, right out of high school.

And we would all sit in the same disgusting break room every day for lunch. And, boy, they made really good. fun of me, Josh, because I brought in a Tupperware bucket filled with Spaghettios. I thought that was just a well-respected. Oh, no. They thought I was the biggest chicken dick on earth that I was... Whatever. Wow, I've

never heard that. That sucks. They don't get it. They called me pink. Mary Hubbard opened her cupboard to serve herself and her kid, but after some chewing, she nearly was spewing when she saw what was under the lid, lurking beneath the familiar rings of pasta and spaghetti.

sauce was an impasta, a revolting ribbon of squirming, worm-like parasites hiding among the noodles, transforming a comforting can of comfort food into a stomach-turning-can nightmare. Most people just worry about too much sodium, but according to the lawsuit, the alleged contamination led to serious health consequences and what Hubbard described as permanent injuries, including a parasitic infection, cracked nipples, gastroint something-nitis, rapid snap coiling of the penis, and claims she can tell. to seek medical care for those conditions. It's still bothering her, huh? Yeah. Her daughter allegedly suffered stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea,

and a parasitic infection that required medication. The lawsuit alleges Campbell's and Walmart failed to properly inspect and process their canned foods before continuing to distribute the product. As a result, the family's seeking $75,000 and damages. Boy, those parasites were living large. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine all the spaghettios you can eat? Most parasites end up on a dead cat, you know, in the middle of a street or, you know, living on an old sandwich on the beach or something. These parasites were living inside a can of SpaghettiOs?

Not a bad life for a parasite. Can you imagine now, Josh, as a grown 50-some-year-old man eating a can of SpaghettiOs, I can't. I actually just did about a month ago. With nothing added to it? I'm talking about with nothing added to it. No meatballs, no hot dogs, no nothing. Yeah, it's less satisfying when there's nothing in it. Right. That's what I'm talking about. I can't believe that...

Not enough for those noodle-Os. Just a lot of sauce. It's just a lot of... Yeah. Just a lot of nothing. But when I was 18, I thought it was enough for me. Then about 12 hours up the coast and other food-related lawsuits making headlines. This time, Chef Boyard Eak can unclench, however, because the defendant is Outback Steakhouse.

Her Virginia woman said she was making her way to the restroom at an outback steakhouse. when she slipped on a rogue pile of mashed potatoes and crashed face first onto the floor, sustaining what she described as serious and permanent injuries. If this is going to be that kind of part, I'm going to stick my dick in the mashed potatoes. Now 56-year-old. What the hell did that guy just say?

He's going to stick, as you know what, in the mashed potatoes. 56-year-old Tracy Renshaw is seeking $1.5 million from Mountback, claiming she, the mashed potatoes created an unreasonably dangerous condition for visitors. And the restaurant failed to warn customers about the hazards caused by mashed potatoes on the floor. Slippery when mashed potatoed. There she went, huh?

Yeah. Ass over apple cart. Cracked her face. I'd hate myself. That sounds awful. A flesh-eating parasite long kept out of U.S. livestock is stock. I don't know why I'd pronounce it that way. It's back.

The flesh-eating screw worm has resurfaced in Texas and is now the leading new nickname for my penis. The screw worms are very aggressive. They kind of hook themselves into live tissue, and it can be very, very destructive. The discovery marks the first time the flesh-eating insect, which primarily targets livestock, but can also infect humans, has been found in U.S. cattle since it was eradicated nationwide in the 1960s. The New World screw worm is spread by a fly whose larvae feed exclusively on the living tissue of warm-blooded animals. The parasitic flies are attracted to wounds and body openings, including the eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and because God is a sense of humor, the genitals. It'll climb into your cooch?

Yeah, it'll go for it. It doesn't take much either. Once the eggs hatch, the maggots burrow into the living flesh in a spiral pattern, the screw-like behavior, which gave the pest its name. These some bitches sound like they're hard to stop. Yeah. Wounds as small as a tick bite can attract a female fly looking to lay. eggs. One female can deposit two to 300 eggs at a time and as many as a thousand during her 10 to 30 day lifespan. The concern over the New World Screw Worm goes far beyond ranches and

farms. If the parasite spreads unchecked, it can cause severe suffering in livestock, rapid herd losses, and billions of dollars in economic damage. Sounds like there's a lot to be afraid of when it comes to the screw worm. Yeah, primarily just everything going up in price because of these animals. Experts warned that it makes it a food, excuse me, expert warned that makes a food security issue with consequences, which could affect every American through

disruptions to the agricultural system. While the New World screw worm can infect human pets, such cases are rare and pose little risk to the broader public. This is something that sounds very scary, but the threat to humans, especially people in the United States, is

very, very low at this time. That's nice. However. However, what? There is one segment of society that may want to pay particularly close attention. People who are at a higher risk are individuals who... Livestock. Yep, you can't do that to livestock.

I'll be. The good news is there's no reason to panic by canned beans. New World scream worms. Screenworm... I don't even know why I try. Screw worms. Infest living animals, not meat, fruit, vegetables, or other food products. so the risk is tied to livestock health and agricultural economics

rather than the safety of food on store shelves. The old squir, how do you say it? Screw worm. He's back. No, thank you. One case so far. Are you afraid of the screw worm? Yeah.

If it was near me, yeah, I would be terrified of the screw worm. What about screw face? Screw face. Where are my Stephen Segal fans out there? What about screw face? I thought he was scary. Yeah, I did too. Do you remember the secret?

to screw face. What was the secret to screw face? He has two head and four eyes. When I see face, I screw face. What movie was that? Yeah, I can't remember. It was called... I remember screwface.

Was it out for justice? Could be. Oh, God dang it. We love those old Stephen Seagall movies. Out for justice? Nah, I'll look it up. What do we do here? Do I go late?

Yeah. Yeah. Screw it. Let a ride. Who cares? I got to get to the bottom of this Steven Seagall movie while you're at it, though. All right. Check out our notable new releases post on 93X.com, all the latest release. I'm not going to have time to go through all of them, but good stuff on there, including evanescence.

Screw face. There's a mix of action, comedy, suspense, and romance headed your way in theaters and streaming this weekend. Josh? What? Marked for death. Ah, yeah, good one. Mm-hmm. Fans of 80s cartoons and toys have a new reason to head to the theater this weekend as 80s.

nostalgia is back and getting a big screen revival with Masters of the Universe. You love this idea. You love that He-Man is back. You're excited for the movie. Yeah, you know, I mentioned before, I watched the trailer. It looks terrible in all the best ways. I really want to see it. A couple people text in and said the same thing.

They went and saw it last night. Really enjoyed it. They admit, yeah, it's cheesy, but it's good. The film centers on a young man living on Earth who discovers he's actually the prince of an alien world. To save his kingdom, he must reclaim a magical sword and return home.

Dolf Lundgren, who plays He-Man in the 1987 movie as a cameo as a guy Adam meets at an earth gym. Really? Yeah. Pump and weights or something. At an earth gym?

Yeah, he's at a gym on Earth. Okay. And he runs into Dolph Lundgren. Well, I think that's cool that they asked Dolf to get involved. I mean, he's a living legend. Me too. You know, I bet if you're going to see,

I know I was hoping he'd have a cameo, and I learned this morning he does. The horror spoof franchise Scary Movie returns to theaters with its sixth installment today, throwing two friends into a wild mess involving killers, monsters, and supernatural creatures, parodying movies like sinners, Get Out, and the Substance. The marketing campaign for scary movie

gained some attention for a series of bong-inspired popcorn buckets revealed in a promotional trailer. The bucket was designed to look like a glass bong with popcorn stored in the main chamber and a butter compartment on the side, but sadly for some, it was just a publicity stunt. People were hoping would be a part of that weird

popcorn bucket crazed, but unfortunately it's not legit. I only one the ones he can bang. You could probably bang that one. Yeah, I guess you're right. You can bang anything if you want. Do you want to bang it together? No, thank you.

Okay. But one after another, yes, sure. Okay. The dune vagina, is that where you referred to? Yeah. In power ballad, Paul Rudd plays a washed-up wedding singer who reconnects with a former boy band star. When one of his old songs unexpectedly becomes a hit,

he sets out to claim the recognition he believes he deserves. On the streaming side, Netflix is debuting the romantic comedy office romance. Jennifer Lopez stars as the CEO of an airline company whose strict workplace dating policies are put to the test when a new lawyer played by Brett Goldstein, aka Roy Kent, enters the picture. And coming to Apple TV, the 10-episode-series Cape Fear,

which follows a happily married couple whose lives are thrown into turmoil when a notorious killer from their past is released from prison and comes looking for revenge. Shout out to Rory graduating kindergarten today from Mom, keeping them alive despite their best effort, Jesus, and Wiscoe Nurse Jesus. Another graduate this morning.

Headbanger from the bar, text in a congratulations to his granddaughter for graduating kindergarten, and that's 93X News. Coming up next, you guys, so you hear some good news? What's that? My studio door just flew open. And it was Janelle Klein. Oh, she's walking in right now. Hey, hey, Janelle. Hi, Janelle. The Jungle Jane. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder. On the half-ass morning show. These gentlemen would quiet all the critics wondering where they've been.

If they score the game winner in overtime, God's despair. Let's welcome all of our guests. It was another terrific hockey game last night, but first, let's welcome all of our guests who I'm sure cannot wait to talk hockey with us. State of hockey. Randy Schaber. Hello, Randy. I think Brad Ryder is here. Hi, Brad Ryder.

Dan, is you going, Randy? I was supposed to call Randy? Oh, you weren't on that text? No. Oh, shoot. Sorry, dude. It's pretty important to have the guy who makes the phone call in on the text message. I didn't originate that text.

Randy text. All right, I'll call him. We've got to give him a telephone call. And the winner of a phone call. Randy Shaver's charity golf tournament just this past Monday is in studio with us, Janelle Klein. Yes. Congratulations, Janelle.

Thank you, Brad. You know what a fantastic advocate I am. I know. I missed that event golfing with you. Yeah. You came out of nowhere to win the damn tournament. That's how I do it. That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah. I was able to run into Janelle out on the course on Monday

and you and Ashley were teamed up. Yes. With our sales guy Eric. And look like you guys were having a pretty good time. We did. You know, that's always a fun tournament, and I'm sure you guys talked about it, but that they raised that much money

is pretty unbelievable this year. Lots and lots of dough. Randy can maybe see this. It is an amazing event. It is. Randy Schaber, hello from Iowa. Hello. Hello.

What the hell are you doing back in your homeland? Well, I was helping my youngest son and his family get themselves ready to move back to Minnesota. Oh, that's exciting. I bet you're pretty pumped. I'm very excited. They closed on a house at early July, and finally, after all these years, they'll be back home. So it's great.

Okay, this brings me around to a conversation I've had with Josh, too. What in the hell are they calling their elderly father for when it's time to do they not have any friends in their 20s and 30s? Well, the elderly father is driving back some of their more fragile things so they don't have to pass them in one of those pods that they might break. Okay. I volunteer. Okay. And it's my fault for having a pickup truck, too. I knew what I was getting into when I got a pickup truck.

Josh has these kids, stepkids, who move all the time, and he's always the guy who's helping him move. My oldest does it on his own. When we were young, it was all 20s and 30-year-olds. suddenly these old dads are being drug into the moving process, but you're saying you're not handling the heavy items, you're handling the fragile items. Yes, I volunteered to bring back the TVs and the things that he didn't want to pack and possibly break.

And plus I got to see my grandson and got a chance to hold him and be around him for a few hours, so that was fun. Well, there you go. And let me just ask you this. I mean, if there's a carload of fragile items that need to be moved from Iowa to Minnesota, shouldn't your wife be doing the driving, Randy? That's true. So, because, you know, I'd like these items to be back in Minnesota by July.

I've got one more point to bring up. So isn't this going to make a stop at Diamond Joe's at the sports book a little bit more challenging with all that expensive stuff in the back here. Oh, dude. Well, Brad, I made the stop on the way down yesterday. So I've already taken care of that. Degenerates plan ahead. Did you really stop and make some bets already, you degenerate bastard?

I actually did, and I sat and played a few of the slot games for about an hour, and I actually won some money. So it was a good day. Diamond chose. Diamond Joe's bought us dinner last night. How about that? And that's where the old people belong, sitting in front of the slot machine.

I don't know if you heard this, Randy, because we were late getting you on the telephone, but the winner of your golf tournament is in studio this morning, Janelle Klein. Oh, yeah. Just waiting for my trophy, Randy. Are you engraving the trophy? Where is her trophy?

It's in route right now. It's one of the fragile items coming from Iowa. Pictureing Randy presenting it wearing the white gloves like the Stanley Cup handlers do. And I hope it's just the Norwegian ox. Yeah, it should. That's funny. Yeah. Speaking of Norwegian ox, one of the things I've been doing while driving today is thinking about some of my upcoming fantasy football names that I'm going to use this fall.

Norwegian ox is at the top of the list. Hey, that's great. What an honor. She's got that trademark, Randy. You owe her $5,000. That would be a good one. That one will stand out. It's one of my favorite nicknames I've ever heard in my life.

So thanks, Randy, for calling us from Iowa. Brad Rider, Janelle's setting right in here, and we got plenty to jaw jack about. Yeah, we do. Including last night's hockey game, another terrific game. You had to be patient, though. The Las Vegas Golden Knights and the North Carolina Hurricanes went ahead with game two with the Stanley Cup final last night. And I think most folks would agree that the first two periods were okay.

First two periods were decent. Not a lot of shots on goal. I mean, I think North Carolina kind of had the better of the play in the first period. But they find themselves down to nothing after two periods. The third period was a game in itself. and it became a completely different animal. Some free hockey. She went into overtime.

North Carolina squares up the series at one win apiece with a four-three win. That third period in overtime was a completely different experience than the first two periods. And this series has been terrific so far. Four goals were scored in the third period. Another was waived off because of goaltender interference. I don't know if you want to get into that whole conversation about that particular play.

But it was really great stuff. Really great stuff. I only saw the overtime. I was at the Twins game last night. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I'm kind of deferring a little bit. You and four of your friends? Yeah, it was pick your row night.

Everybody got their own row last night. We can get to the Twins here in just a second, Brad Rider. But there you friggin go. Yeah. The series is squared up at one win apiece. And, I mean, yeah, I was wondering, is, Are the hurricanes going to get anything going in this series to go down to nothing? Would have been absolutely devastating.

And the late goal by Vegas to tie it, I thought, well, Christ, it's just not in the cards for the hurricanes, but they got it done in the overtime session. Well, what that guarantees is they will be coming back to Carolina for at least one more game. So that in itself is exciting for them. But you're right. If Vegas had held on last night and been up to zero, there's a very good chance that series would not be coming back for a game five.

Exactly. This thing looks like it's going to go at least six games in the series. I think you're right. I got a text question already from a listener. Any update on the kid who took the puck? to the face. Howie. I think he's doing okay.

I read a little bit about him this morning. McNabb is the name, a defenseman for the Knights, took a slap shot smooth to the, well, I mean, a lot of it caught his half shield, some of it caught his face. He was instantly bleeding. He left the game.

From what I understand, he's going to be okay. So, now yesterday, we learned that our homeboy, Marcus Felino, has been named the recipient of the 20 and 26 King Clancy Memorial Trophy. What's going on here? What's up?

Congratulations. What the hell? The trophy in your face. Oh, my God. On behalf of the NHL, Marcus, you are the recipient of the King of Fancy Awards. I feel like we should be the recipient of the King Fancy Award. Thank you. Leadership on and off the ice.

Thank you. Thank you. I'm tearing the contribution. All right, man. Thank you. That's the audio. of what went down yesterday. It was a cute trick played on Marcus by his brother, the Leon.

What the hell is the... I don't know what... Should be an easy one to remember. Marcus and his family were touring a hospital here at the University of Minnesota. You know how dialed in the filinos are to raising money for cancer. You know, they've got the... What do they call their thing again? The filino...

Felino faceoff. Felino face off. where he and Nick collectively gather up as much money for funds, for breast cancer research and honor of their mother, all different types of cancer. The money that they raise goes to all different kinds of folks dealing with cancer. So Felino and his family are touring this hospital, talking to doctors like you and your wife, I'm sure, do quite often, Randy Shaver.

And they enter a room, and Nick Falino was there to surprise Marcus with the trophy. really cool, and I think we called it adorable earlier, a really cool and adorable moment for the both of them. So we congratulate Marcus up and down for that. Our mother of the hand in today. We firmly believe that because you want to believe that she's up there orchestrating a beautiful

life for you, right? That's one of our angels in heaven, and we dearly miss her, and we think a lot of the things that she taught us in even a short life, and I think that's why we're so proud of the things that we've been able to accomplish in the families, the beautiful families that we have. Mm-hmm.

It's awesome. The National Hockey League. If I'm not mistaken, that's like the NHL's version of the Payton Award or whatever the NFL gives up a man of the year kind of award. And that's so well deserved. He's just, he and Nick have done such a great job in raising money for cancer research. And I'll say this about Marcus. You know, we have him on the radio. He's a great guy.

This is the first time that I've really been around him in person at my. golf event on Monday and the reviews from everyone who met Marcus Felino at my event on Monday. Keep in mind, it was like five hours out on the golf course. He shook hands and talked to everyone when he was out there. I did not hear one person who had anything negative at all to say about Marcus, that he was delightful, he was just very kind, talked to all the. volunteers, all the sponsors just went out of his way, just to be

and I think that's just who he is, right? Yeah, he's just wired right. Marcus is just wired right. He gets it. He gets it. He's a wonderful guy. Now, with Marcus claiming the King Clancy, the NHL then donates $25,000 to the Janus Felino Foundation on behalf of Marcus and his family. So wonderful. Yeah, we got lucky again. It makes

me want to, you know, reminisce about the past guests we've had on this show. We've been very lucky, haven't we, Josh? For the most part, we've been very lucky. I mean, we've only had one that you didn't like. Robert Smith was his name. You can say it. I think everybody else has been great. Super, super, super lucky.

We're so happy to count Marcus as a friend and a member of this show. And like Dana pointed out earlier, Nick won the King Clancy a couple of years ago when he was playing for the Columbus Blue John. jacket. So both Felino brothers have left such a great impression on folks that they cross paths with, absolutely. I just want to be friends with them. I hear you. There's people like that. Dana, don't sound so weird about it. If he didn't sound so weird and desperate about it, it might happen. I mean, imagine if you said that to his face right now. He'd be weirded out. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Just. He'd be like, you have my phone number. Oh,

Dana, now when Marcus comes in studio. I also think, Nick, that's a reflection of his upbringing too. Oh, of course. That's a reflection of his mom. Of course, absolutely. In a lot of ways. Dana, yes. Can you do me a favor?

When Marcus comes in studio, can Josh and I do a lot of the talking? I'll stay in my studio. Let's put it that way. Now speaking of... You're just holding up signs, how much you love them. My phone number. And Marcus, he'd be like, all right, guys, see you later. And Dana says, I love you.

Why is he taking pictures of my license plate? Now, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, listeners are texting in. Wasn't there a Vikings offensive lineman you weren't crazy about? Yeah, I suppose. He was all right. No, he wasn't. I know you're talking about. Anyway, in his moments.

Speaking of local hockey people, and we have Janelle Klein in studio, Janelle, tell folks what you were up to yesterday, because we'd like to send out some well-wishes. What were you doing yesterday? Yeah, so I think I've talked about it, before on the show, but Kevin Gorg, as many of our listeners will know, from Fox Sports or Bali. I'm not sure exactly what it's called. Nobody knows. Yeah. So his dad was my childhood golf teacher when I was, I think, starting around 10 or so, just one of a kind guy, super cool

guy. Just, I mean, we're all so lucky that we had him for a teacher. And he passed away after about two years with dementia, Alzheimer. So I was at his funeral yesterday. And I was just telling the guys when I walked in, what a incredible service it was. And Kevin gave maybe the best eulogy I've ever heard. Just had the whole church in the palm of his hand and just honored his dad in such a cool way. That's great. Off air, we were talking about this. I did not know that you had this long lifetime connection with the Gorg family. Back to when you were a little kid. Yeah. Yeah. And he was, I mean, man, the stories that came out yesterday, I mean, it was like alternating, laughing and crying. Yeah. It was just, I mean, so. so many antics in that clubhouse and on the golf course and it was wild times and he was kind of

the main character of it all and it was really fun i'm glad it was a great service and and we don't know kevin terribly well around here i've crossed paths with him a few times we've had him on the show a few times um but he he always has struck me as a wonderful nice guy easy guy to get along with so on behalf of the whole program condolences to kevin gorg and his family that's great that you were able to be there. Yeah, thank you. No, he's, I mean, one of the best people I know and just a phenomenal family and just really cool to be able to honor his dad. So he was your golf coach. He was. And then, I mean, by God, what an honor to the memory of Mr. Gorg that you performed so well. Maybe he was there. Maybe he was looking down on you. He was, clearly shaking his head and, you know, probably swearing under his breath.

I taught you better than that. You honored the man with your performance Monday. Yeah. Randy and Brad, you guys, you know Kevin. Do you not? I know Kevin very well. Yeah. Kevin and I actually did a podcast together last fall for fantasy football.

So I've known Kevin for a long time. He is everything that Janelle said. I heard Kevin do an interview. early this week about his dad. And he calls him Kenny. You know, it's his dad, but Kevin referred to him as Kenny a lot, which I thought was funny. But the stories that Kevin told about his dad and just the impact that his dad made in the Faribault community,

and how much he loved golf. Golf was just such the central part of Kevin's, Kevin, you know, he likes golf. He likes to caddy golf. He doesn't really play golf all that well. He kind of gravitated towards hockey. Makes me like him even more. He got older.

Yeah. But that was there, you know, he just said that golf was so important to his dad. That kids in the Fairbow area learn how to play, learn how to play the right way, appreciate the game. So, yeah, it's a sad day for the Gorg family because his dad has left such a legacy in Faribault. Yeah. Well, again, I'm glad you were there, Janelle, and our best wishes to Gorgsky. All right, NBA final, final game two tonight, huh? Knicks and Spurs tonight.

Did you know the NBA is investigating an altercation between Jalen Brunson and some fans from game one. Apparently there were some fans who were directing a lot of vulgarities towards what's his name again? Jalen Brunson. Yeah.

I saw the little interaction after the game where he kind of walked past the scores table and looked up into the crowd and it almost looked like these were people he knew, but it turned out, I mean, he went right over to the officials and kind of pointed him out a little bit and it turned out that you know he had to have some teammates kind of pull

away because he was kind of getting into it a little bit with him after the game. I don't know what's going to come of this, but apparently some fans were directing vulgar comments towards Jalen Brunson about his flopping. And he didn't like that, so I guess maybe expect to see a couple of

empty seats for game two. Those people maybe won't be invited back. But it should be something to see tonight, game two. See what the Knicks can do on the road. Again, you want to hear something just absolutely unnerving and disgusting related to basketball? Yeah. Anyone eating breakfast right now?

Okay. It might come smooth up, Brad. All right. There's a story going around that Steph Curry is trying to recruit LeBron James to the Colton State Warriors. At least we just have one collective team to hate instead of two. That actually makes sense. Okay. along with it making sense. I just know

it sounds gross to me. Just one team to avoid. Yeah, I agree with Dana. At least we can put all the douchebags on one team. Draymond. Yes. Yeah. Let's get Jimmy Butler back there. Who else can we put on that club? Let's get Donchich

over there. I know you'd love to put Shay on there too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. When will LeBron leave us alone? When he turns 50? I don't know. Yeah. I don't know.

I think he's got a couple of years left, be honest. Oh, yeah. When I ask that question, I'm being serious. Will he go into his 50? It all depends on who's going to pay him and how much. Right. I think he ends up back in Cleveland for a couple years. Oh, stop it.

I don't think so. No, because Cleveland's got so much money locked up. but they don't really have it depends on how much he wants if he takes the minimum then he can go a lot of different places but I don't think he's going to take the minimum if he's funny he takes the minimum

and they're out to dinner and the check comes hey boys you know you're making a lot more money than me I'm playing for the benefit can you handle this one? Good question from HVAC delivery Jesus does that mean Bronny's got to go to San Francisco too that's the thing

I mean he's got to The only team he's going to end up playing on is the team his dad's on. I'm sorry to put it that way, but it's true. Hey, Josh, well, of course it's true. Yeah, I mean, that's the only way the kid stays in the league. Josh, a question from a listener, or not a question, a comment from a listener. This guy says he gets a lot of vulgar comments around the house for his flopping, so much so he had to switch to boxer briefs.

That'll keep things tight. The Minnesota links won last night by three points over the speaking of Golden State, the Golden State Valkyries. Olivia Miles, the rookie, dumped 28 points on Golden State, and in the process, she set the WNBA rookie record for three-pointers in a ballgame. She hit eight of them last night. I guess that's the rookie record for three-point baskets. She's phenomenal. And the links have won. one six straight basketball games.

She is really good at basketball. Well, then it's good to have her in town. Pardon me? On a basketball team. Yes, that kind of all plays together very well. Oh, Brad Ryder said he was at the Twins game last night. Kind of an ugly one here and there for the twins last night. The Royals got the 8-6 win.

A pinch hitter for the Royals by the name of Josh Rojas hit a go-ahead. Bases loaded two-run single in the ninth. off of Twins Reliever. Are you ready, Josh? Justin Lawrence. Whoa. It was one of those games where they had a bullpen game, and I didn't know that before we got there.

And when I got there and found out, I'm like, oh, no, this is going to be one of those nights. Not that it was going to be an ineffective starting pitching performance, but it kind of was. But they used, I think, I want to say seven pitchers, and through 175 pitches and it just was a very, very sloppy game. Sloppy in the field.

A couple of home runs for the twins. I mean, Bucksston almost hit three. He hit a couple, but he almost hit three. Yeah, Clemens hit a couple of rods. Buck and Carrotini also hit dongs. They were all solo shots. Maybe you get a couple guys on base. They win that ballgame.

But the ugliness showed itself in the sixth inning what Bradrider is talking about. Ryan Criedler and Luke Keishal had a bad news bears kind of a thing happened on an infield pop-up. They knocked into each other and the baseball dropped between them. Officially they had two errors in the game,

but I was there. There was at least two or three other plays that could have and should have been made that weren't. It was just kind of, like I said, it was one of those games. Where you realize that they're in the position that they're in, I mean,

I think that they've been around 500, as long as they have, it's a pretty good accomplishment for what you see. I think when you go, to a game like that and see that. They're just, yeah. All right.

So hopefully this doesn't continue. But yeah. That was Justin Lawrence there for the twins last night. Tonight, Zebby Matthews versus Michael Waka. Did Chris Berman ever get a hold of Michael Waka and call him Michael Waka like an Egyptian? Waka Waka Waka, Waka. I thought there was a football player who had a similar last name. and Chris Berman.

It's been a while since we talked about all the old Chris Berman nicknames that were so popular for a stretch of time. Chuck New Kid on the Knoblock was one of my favorites. Oh, God, we could do that all day if you put a list in front of me. He had some great ones. What else is going on? Oh, this is not me speaking. This is left-handed specialist Jesus who texted in,

and he says, can you please mention the wonderful baseball news that Aaron Judge is out indefinitely? Twins pitcher Bailey Ober is blaming Major League Baseball for his injury. He's got something going on with, I forgot the exact injury that Bailey Ober is dealing with. But he says when he was pitching towards the end of May against the Boston Red Sox that the baseballs were not properly rubbed up. And so, oh, here it is, a mild right flexor strain, whatever that means. So he claims baseball didn't rubbed up.

rub the baseballs up, which makes you have to use a little extra elbow grease to grip the ball. And he says, that's how he heard himself. He claims the Red Sox pitchers were complaining as well, Sunny Gray and whoever else, Danny Kulam, who pitched for the red. They said the big leagues F that up too. Interesting complaint. I don't know if I had heard that one before. Braddle a little more about that than I will. Brad, rubbing up the balls.

You got anything cute on the topic of rubbing up the balls? I mean, in all seriousness, that's the job of the home teams. I mean, I don't want to, you know, I'm going to get a laugh here, but literally the home teams bat and ball boys do that about two or three hours before the game. They take dozens and dozens of boxes of balls and they rub them in a bunch of mud and get them. Yeah, they do that a couple, two, three hours before the game. So in essence, he's blaming kids, those kids that are the bat and ball ball ball. spell ball boys for not rubbing up the balls enough.

There's got to be a grown person who overlooks that operation. No, not really. I mean, the umpires, the umpires will take a look at them before the game. Right. You think the umpire or a catcher would notice quite quickly that these baseballs are not? Yeah, and if both teams are complaining about it, you would think that maybe the umpires would have sent the balls back to the bat and ball boys and said, here, do a better job or rub them up some more.

Well, here's the deal. Ober filed the complaint through the Players Association. It sounds like Derek Shelton is on his side. He also filed a complaint on behalf of the twins. Major League Baseball says they investigated the baseballs and found nothing wrong with them. There you go. I'm not disputing the reason why it seems legitimate,

but you probably could have nipped that in the bud before the game or early in the game somehow rather than to blame it on it two weeks later. I don't know what the hell's going on with these frigging baseball players. Janelle used to date them. She knows more about these baseball players. We were talking about your ex the other day. We were talking about Jose Konseko. I was going to say which one.

What did we want to ask her? I thought Randy wanted to ask her something about Jose Konseca. What was that? Yeah, Janelle dated Jose Konseco. She dated Goose Gossage for a stretch of time. Do you remember Randy what you wanted to ask Janelle about Jose Kinsekensico? You know, I don't now, unfortunately. You can text me later, Randy.

It's okay. I just want to know from Janelle, when you dated Raleigh's fingers, what was it like to kick him with that handlebar mustache? Well, same with Goose Gossage. Did the mustache tickle a little bit? Did it tickle? It had to tickle a little bit. All right.

Speaking of baseball, Randy, Shabar and I have something going on tomorrow, don't we, Randy? Certainly do. The local town ball clubs have joined you over how many years now has this been going on, Randy Shaver? You know, Ryan Grams would have a better feel for that because this is a Ryan Graham's production. He's done such a great job with this. I want to say five or six years.

It might be longer than that. Ryan Grams is the guy behind this operation. Yep. He's with Brownton. And the Brownton Bruins have been kind of like the leaders of this, but it's spread to a number of other town ball teams, and that's why we're going to be in Cologne tomorrow. There's a series of games in Cologne tomorrow, starting at noon.

This is knocking out cancer. Town ball helping to knock out cancer. You show up to these ball games, and all proceeds will be donated to the Randy Shaver Cancer Research Foundation. Are you going to be there at noon tomorrow to throw the first pitch? Yes, sir. I'm going to be there. Yes. That's where the Dassel Saints take on the Cologne Hollanders. That's at noon. This is all at the ballpark there in Cologne.

2.30, the Howard Lake Orphans and those infamous Broughton Bruins that you mentioned. And then at 5 o'clock, the Jordan Brewers and the Athletics of Delano will be taking the field. They love us in Delano. They do. We've been popular in that town from the frigging word go. So come on out to the ballgame and, you know, your proceeds will help folks who could use to help. I am planning Randy Schaber. My schedule was better oriented to where I am going to attend the 5 o'clock Jordan Delano matchup. Fabulous.

Well, then you'll be able to salute the fans from Delano. That's right. We're going to start off with a wet t-shirt contest. I'm kidding about that, of course. But I really had a good time last year when we went out and watched these teams play in Maple Lake. Let's drink some beer and have some fun and put together a few bucks for Randy Shaver's Cancer Research Foundation. I drove by that ballpark, Nick, about two weeks ago. I had to run out in that area to pick up something for our auction, for our event.

That ballpark is beautiful. They're in Cologne. It's really nice. So it'll be fun. It'll be a nice day tomorrow. I mentioned earlier we'd have an opportunity this morning to talk about two of our favorite athletes of all time, Russell Wilson and Tom Brady. And here we go. Russell Wilson is retiring and he's signed a deal.

He's been hired by CBS Sports to be an analyst for NFL televised NFL games. What do you make of all that? Russell Wilson on your television every Sunday talking up football. Just another reason to never watch a studio show. Yeah, for the old past. He does nothing for me. So we're going to count Russell Wilson as a tune-out. Aren't you a little surprise?

I mean, he's not a guy that you listen to in an interview and think, I want to hear more from him. No. So phony. No. No. Yeah. A lot of those ex-quarterbacks gravitate toward that, though,

because they're recognizable names. So I think people care what they say. He is very phony. He is very cheesy. And Janelle, I agree with you. Usually, when he starts rapping, I reach for the remote. As I enter this next chapter with CBS Sports in the NFL today, I'm so blessed to continue doing what I love most.

Being around the greatest game in the world. Thank you, football. I thank you, I thank you, I thank you. Love three. Is that really him? Was that real? Seriously? Yeah, he put out the, that's way.

shortened. It's like a three-minute tribute to his career. I love the dramatic ending. Did you catch that? Love, dramatic pause. Three. There's a lot of drama in it. Three. If you had to, I mean, you should watch the whole thing. Well, you'd

never make it through the whole thing. You don't have to call him Russell. You don't have to call him Russell. Wilson. Just call him three, you do. Just call him three. I mean, I'm the guy that wore number three. What else are you going to call me? I wonder three and nine never hang out. Maybe. That's where nine got his. Well, nine is three times better.

Now, Tom Brady. It's been a while since we had to deal with the lunatic. Totally out of his mind. I don't know if this statement reflects that. You tell me. He was recently interviewed by somebody. And he said he thinks that NFL practice squad, fellas, they don't cut it when they're called into action,

mostly because they don't want to play in real NFL ball games. They don't want to deal with the pressure that comes with actually playing in real ball games. She said, he said, there are like scout team receivers will come in and practice and they'll do really well. And I'll be watching them and I'll be like, man, we got to get that guy, get him on our offense. He's making a lot of plays. And then when they actually get on the roster, they don't want to be elevated. They're happy living this life where they can tell their family and friends that they play for an NFL ball club. But the reality is that they don't want the pressure of playing in big games.

Now, a lot of guys who have spent an extended period of time on practice squads have stepped up and said, are you out of your mind? I would kill to get a role on the real team. I want it. It's all I've ever wanted is to get called up. So there's this argument happening now. Tom, there's a reason why they're practice player, why they're on the practice squad to begin with. Well, he knows that. What do you mean? I don't understand.

Well, I mean, it's just, yeah, you can look good in practice. A lot of guys can look good in practice no matter what sport it is. But when you get out on the field, I mean, that's why they were on the practice squad and not on the 50 man roster to begin with. But I would also argue that even guys on the practice squad have played in big games in their careers. Otherwise, they wouldn't be in the NFL period. So that argument of them not handling. the pressure, they've handled some pressure along the way.

Otherwise, they wouldn't even be on a practice squad. So, I mean, I understand what he's saying. I'm sure there's a percentage of players that are on a practice squad that are very happy just being on that practice squad. Probably a few. But I would think that the vast majority of players really do want to play in the especially if you look at this as a job and making a living, The only way you're going to make more money is to actually play in the NFL games.

And so that only makes some sense. It's kind of insulting and arrogant the way he says it. I mean, more or less he's saying, I could handle the pressure and others like me could handle it. But there are some out there. They just can't. That's why I made the sarcastic comment I did. It's like, come on. I mean, silly.

Chicago Bears quarterback Caleb Williams will be the dude on the cover of the new Madden video game, if that matters at all to you. I'm going to take some time to read the room and see if it matters, and it appears that it does not. Is there still a jinx that goes along with that? I don't know if there's still a jinks. Yeah, the old Madden curse. I was always kind of overblown.

Caleb Williams is the first Bears player ever to receive the honor. I thought you guys were into the video game. I thought you cared about things like that. Madden's kind of done. Yeah, no. Madden is done? It's now or near what it used to be. Oh, I thought it was still huge.

Oh, yeah. I don't play it. Well, what has taken its place? Maybe the college ball. I love the college football game. Oh. They're both huge, though. Okay.

I thought that Madden was still the football game. I don't follow. Well, I think it is. I think it still is, but me personally, I enjoy the college game more. Okay. They're bringing the two. Tush push to the latest edition of Madden. Oh, boy.

Controversial. Reading the room. Yeah, I think that's great. Oh, that's great. And, oh, Josh looks happy. I gave you the same look last time. You didn't look my way. Oh, I was looking at Janelle.

Josh always loves the tush push. Doesn't matter the sport or the context. That's right. That was what you're going to talk to Janelle about with Jose Conceco. Yeah. No, it was the, thank you. the brother and sisterhood, the ball bouncing off the head. That was before the two of them were dating.

I was going to say, I don't know if I know what that is. That's what Randy wanted to. Years ago, Jose Canseco was playing in the outfield for the Texas Rangers, and he was trying to get under a fly ball that was hit deep into center. And the ball went off his skull and over the fence. And it was the funniest thing in the baseball season that year. Yeah. Did he ever bring that up?

He didn't. Did he ever forget your name and blame it on the baseball? He's got that built-in excuse, doesn't it? Yeah. The Tush push, you can run that play in the new Madden game. And Randy, if you only knew the truth about how Josh feels about the Tush. I know. I know. He avoids it at all costs.

I'm against it. He is. Finally, before we go, our pals at first wrestling led by the anarchist, Eric Cannon, a man who buys his clothing at Teen Hot Topic. First wrestling. We love that crew. We love that crowd. So excited for their success.

They deserve it. We've watched them go from, right, Cubby, the first few First Avenue wrestling shows. There were 11 people there and only five meant to be there, right? And now they've become, it's just awesome. Good luck getting a seat now. Good luck getting a friggin' seat. The anarchist, Eric Cannon, and his first wrestling group, they announced they're going to go ahead with a show called Friday Night Nitro

at the Mall of America Rotunda. On July 31st, this is the night before WWE SummerSlam puts on a show at the New Metrodome. So this should be a massive occasion. I've self-pumped. And I'm sure that Eric is going to be able to drag in all kinds of characters, local and otherwise, for this show at the Mall of America. Is this the second time they've done a show at the mall, third, fourth?

I think this might be the fourth time now. Fourth? Wow. And I've been to, I think I've been to three of them, and they are so much fun. Because you've got the crowd going all the way up to the top row, you know, and all the different levels and the hoot and the hauler, and it's great. We, I've not been lucky enough to attend the Mall of America wrestling show. So here's the deal. Tickets for this Friday night nightro show go on sale Monday, June 15th.

expected to sell very quickly like all of their shows do. But what a cool weekend that will be. You got the first wrestling folks on Friday night at the mall, and then Saturday and Sunday. Is SummerSlam a two-day thing? Two nights, yep. Jesus, Boston. Saturday and Sunday they'll be at the New Metro Dome.

We have over the years shared many, many, many stories about attending the local wrestling shows, some of the best times I've ever had in my life. And there's also going to be a wrestling convention going on all week with guys like Diamond Dallas Page, Sandman, Booker T, McFoley. Don't get me anywhere near the frigging Sandman. The last time I was out with the Sandman, he got thrown out of old Chicago. The Hardy Boys sting, a bunch of old names, JBL, Jerry Lawler. Dude, they're going to be doing what? There's a wrestling convention here in town during the week

of SummerSlam where a bunch of indie guys, old guys are all going to come. The week of, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, kind of a thing. We should see if we can get some in studio. Oh, absolutely. Not the Sandman. Well, don't Scott Steiner, do you want him come in and terrify you again? He can sit in your studio. Right now, Janelle Klein's going, I had only heard a Rick Flair five years ago.

Yeah. And in case anyone's wondering, anarchist, that's not a word. That's an inside joke. Eric Cannon for years, I don't know if he's still going by this gimmick, but he was the anarchist. Eric Cannon and he had all the piercings and the hot topic type gear right that was his thing I'm gonna see from years ago years ago at those early early first wrestling shows at First Avenue they had a ring announcer

we always called him Toby Keith because he looked like Toby Keith and he struggled terribly on the microphone and one night Toby Keith gets up there in the ring and he goes coming into the ring right now weighing 190 whatever the anarchist Eric Cannon and the 12 of us in the crowd were like What? That's not even a word.

Shut up, Toby, Gene, you suck. And people would often yell. Hey, how much did your outfit cost at Hot Topic, Eric Cannon? And he'd say, shut up! One of my favorites was there was a wrestler called Thor and he had a singlet on, you know, the old school singlet.

And he wasn't in the greatest shape anymore. He wasn't. kind of falling out of his singlet. It didn't look good. And someone in the cheap seat said, Hey, Thor, your pizza's here. But I can do that all day. I can do that all day. UPS Golden Valley Delivery Drive. How do I say that, Josh? UPS Golden Valley Delivery Driver, whatever, he called, he texted in and said, is Eric Kenning the one with the Mohawk? Yeah, he's still going to, Dana, does he still have a Mohawk?

I haven't seen him recently, but I believe so. It doesn't. I haven't seen him in years. I'm glad he still got there. You know what? You and I could grow, Josh? What's that? A no hawk. Yeah, no hawk. That's true. An oh no hawk. It wouldn't look good. All right. Hey, Randy Schaver. Get home safe from Iowa.

Oh, no. Wait a minute. Where are you? Are you home? You're still in Iowa. I'm driving right now. Okay. Be careful. Yep. Look out for those. On Monday. Look up for those tractor trailers, right? Have fun and cologne tomorrow. Oh, yeah. You two. You two will be at separate times. tomorrow in Cologne for the town ball tournament.

Randy will be there at noon. I'll be there at five for the five o'clock game. And thanks, Brad, Reiter. You're welcome. We'll talk to you next week. Jungle Jane's going to stick around for a little while longer. We'll be back in a few minutes on the program. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs, podcasters?

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they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work, and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer.

He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. This isn't your average podcast. You like party?

This is full send. Join the party. So you guys launched the Nelkelove Island. Congrats, boys. Who's that? Like a production, dude. Like five years ago, we could do that easily and to be crazy when we're partying, but when you're like in your 30s a little bit.

Well, that's why you barely show up to set, day two. Just a few hours of tardy. Steinie wanted to be the host to be the host. It's like, why didn't you let me be the host? It's like, bro, you showed up six hours late every day. I had a girlfriend. The Full Send Podcast, follow and listen on your favorite platform. Half-assed Morning Show.

93X. Ah, yeah, we've made her all the way up to 834 here. And Janelle Klein has. has joined us in studio along with a regular cast of characters. Hello, Janelle. Hello, hello. It's our F-off day. I know.

It's Friday. The best. You don't have to go anywhere this weekend, do you? I don't, yeah. That's good. No one should have to go anywhere. What were we talking about a minute ago, Josh, at the ass end of sports? Oh, we were talking about a Mohawk.

It's been a while, Josh. Are you ready? Yeah. What if you got that haircut when you were hanging out with your best guy friend? What would it be called? Oh, a pro hawk. What if you receive that hairdo while listening to a song called She Talks to Angels? What kind of a haircut would it be then?

Oh, God. A black crow hawk? It would be a black crow hawk. This might get the text machine cooking, too. What if you could see it, if I gave you that haircut and everyone could see it in the dark? Well, a glow hawk, of course. That's what you refer to. What if you got that haircut and you were a mentally unstable guy from television who used to abuse tigers?

What would it be called then? An exotic joe hawk. That would be an exotic johawk. Oh, what if you had that hairdo and you got naked briefly in an old movie called The Outsiders? What would you call that haircut then? Oh, dang it. And then now you host game shows and whatnot. But you were briefly naked in the movie The Outsiders.

Ah, shoot, it's been so long. You had a cameo in the Austin Powers movie series. You had that haircut, and you had all those other things going on in your life. It's killing me. Anyone? Anyone? A Rob Loha. A Rob Loha. He was naked?

Just briefly in the outsiders. Yeah, you got Janelle's interest now. Did I ever tell you the story? The Outsiders, 1983, Ralph Machio, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Tom Cruise has one or two lines in it. He's almost unnoticeable in the movie. Patrick Swayze, C. Thomas Howell, right? Matt Dillon.

Matt Dillon. When I was a 13-year-old kid, this was huge. Yeah. All these cool dudes in the 50s with the brill cream in their hair and the leather jackets. I loved the outsiders. My wife tells a funny story about, Once that movie had come and gone from theaters and it was available for rent, right, at your movie rental joint, she and her girlfriends went and rented the movie and they would sit there all day and pause the scene when Rob Lowe is naked for just a split second

because he gets out of the shower and you can see almost all of him. They would sit there and pause and rewind and pause and rewind so they could see Roblo naked. And one day while my wife and her girlfriends were doing that at my wife's parents' house, her dad came her on the corner and spotted, what they were doing. Oh, no. And he said, he said something like, move along now or something.

Josh, what kind of, we're talking about the Mohawk. What kind of a hairdo would it be if, oh, if you were the lead actor in Raging Bull or taxi driver. Robert De Nirohawk? Robert De Nirohawk. What if you could see the haircut through a pair of yoga pants?

What type of a camel toe hawk? Camel Toe Hawk. Some people are getting kind of deep via text here. Oh, here I got one for Dana. What if it was the type of haircut that, what if Scott Hall wore that haircut? What would it be called? Scott Hall. Scott Hall, the television wrestler.

Oh, I guess I don't know. Describe the type of hair he has. Can I tell you? Yeah. It would be a hey yo. Okay. A hey yo haul. Yeah, I like that one.

Scott Hall had the... What are the listeners saying to listen on? Again, they're getting, like, creative here and deep. Test me. What if... What kind of Mohawk would it be if it was on a famous artist known to have cut off his own ear? Oh, a Vincent Van Goghawk. Right.

Yeah. Janelle gets the next one. Okay, let's test Janelle. How about an American writer and poet known for composing the Raven? Janelle? What? I know that one. Edgar Allan Poehawah.

That's right. I like this one. That's the most adorable thing I think you've ever said into the microphone. And Edgar Allen, Pohawk. What about if it was a Mohawk worn by Santa Claus? Ho-ho-ho. Ho-hawk. Yep.

Right. I got to admit that was a softball right there. What about a Mohawk that isn't yours? Notcho hawk. There you go. A nacho-hawk. Brilliant. All right.

I knew it. I knew this would start a complete gang bang here, but that's kind of way. It had been a long time since we played. Yeah, Word. We used to call it Word. Word? All right. Janelle, answer me a question.

Okay. Give it to a straight. Don't be shy. Let her buck. When was the last time you partied all night long? Like Lionel Richie sang to us all those years ago. Great song. One's a last.

night you stayed up, last time you stayed up partying all night long. Like where I saw the sunrise. Yes. You saw the friggin sunrise and you still had a drinkie in your hand. I have to think back on that. It's been a while for me too. It's been a while. Long time. I mean, there's been some late night slash early mornings, but where you actually see the sunrise. You start drinking at some, you know, when the birds beat you home. 4, 5, 6 p.m. you tear into that case of beer and you go ahead like Lionel. all night long. I mean, do you want to know the time that comes to mind? Yeah.

And this is because I'm sure I've done it many times, but I've told this story before, the night that I somehow ended up at Paisley Park, and they wouldn't let us have phones, and nobody knew what time it was, and we stumbled out of there, and it was like 5.30 in the morning. There you go.

How many years ago was that? What's that not? Let me try to, you were at a WNBA event. Yeah, it was the championship, and they won that year. The links won at all. Yeah. And I mean, the cliff notes is like I had to give a ride to some of the NBA executives that were in town out to this event because Prince had been at the game and invited the team out to

celebrate. And you were covering the event. And I was covering the event. And they were like, hey, is there any way you can give us a ride? I'm like, sure. They didn't know, obviously, where Chan Hassan was, any of that. And so I piled them all into my car and they got waved through. And I said to the security guard, oh, I'm just the driver.

I'm not with them. I'm not an NBA executive. And he was like, give me your phone. Like wouldn't listen to us. We all had to hand him our phone. And we all had, like he basically marched us in there. And I was there until, yeah, 5.30 in the morning. Good Lord.

It was crazy. It was a weird vibe. It was super weird. But he came out, Prince came out and played some songs. Unbelievable. All night long. At any point in the night did he say, my name is Prince and I've come to play with you. That is so sweet.

That's one of my favorite. Anyway, so that was it. How many years ago was that? Oh, God. Well, I don't remember. when they won that championship. Is it 10? Yeah, I'm going to.

It was pre-COVID. It makes sense. Pre-COVID. Yeah. That was the last time Janelle was out all night long, Cubby. Boy, I must have been in my early 20s. Really? That long ago?

At least. Like where do you think, like, someone's wedding or like you just. It was after one of our booze cruises. Oh. Yeah, the 4th of July. Yeah, that's before we even started doing the fall one as well. I wish I could put two and two together and try to tell you exactly when the last time it was that I was out all night drinking all night.

here's why I bring it up. It says here, oh, I know I blew way past this, but it says here, the average age when people start choosing sleep over partying all night long, the average age is 32. I blew way past that. Holy cow. Mine was way earlier than that. Me too. But I, my husband, once I started dating him, the staying up all night thing was not going to happen because he does not play that game. You're saying those days are over for you. Yeah, definitely. I blew way past 32. I would love to have one of those nights again, though. That'd be fun.

Not me. I got to say that it never did me any good. No. No, God, never. I had a great time while it lasted, but it never did me any damn good. There's nothing worse than being hung over in the middle of it, like at like noon. Yeah, you want to shake it by then. Josh, what if you were the lead character in a progressive insurance commercial?

What kind of a haircut would it be then? Flohawk. That'd be a flow hawk. What if Homer Simpson got that haircut? That would be a Do Hawk. Yeah. So I was actually kind of surprised to read the number 32, the age 32. That sounds very young to me to stop the shenan-a-all-night shenanigans.

And that sounds young to me. I was absolutely staying up all-night drinking beyond 32. Same. And I don't think it hits you physically that hard at that point. Like I can remember, like maybe not all night, but, you know, know, drinking until like early morning or like I say, a wedding or something and you get up the next day and I mean, I didn't feel hungover or tired. No.

What? That's crazy. It gets that much worse than what I get? Because I get just, I get so hungover. Then I'm like anxious all day. Everybody's wired different. Oh, God. Yeah.

I can't imagine it getting worse than it already is. You can say that about a lot of things, by the way. Sure. Buckle up. It hurt like. But, I mean, cripes. Into my late 30s, I was living up in Rogers. I mean, we just, that's all we frigging did up there was just drink our balls off until the damn sun came up.

It was horrible. But I loved it. And then, as we covered, hated myself for a stretch of time. I would often have to just begin drinking immediately when I woke up to try to kill the pain. But that, anyone else agree that that sounds young? I think it sounds old. What do you think your number was then when you started? started to really feel it and say no more.

41, 2? Yeah. That's when I thought, okay, that's got to be it. And that's probably, so it's been a good 10, 12 years for me since I fooled around and stayed up all night long. That's when the pain really set in. Could you still do it to like bar close and be okay? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. These days it's a totally different story. But yeah, according to this and that, research, this, survey that, the average person, They hit 32. They say piss on it. I'm not doing this anymore. And they go to bed. I remember one of the funniest things. This was New Year's Eve a number of years ago. I hosted a New Year's Eve party. And it was 5.30, 6 o'clock in the morning. And we were all still sitting and drinking and smoking and carrying on. And we really were totally oblivious until somebody said, somebody said, Jesus, Paul, it's 545 or something. Right? So we're all wrapping up.

This is it, our final finals. About six, a dude who had been outside doing something, a friend of mine, had been outside. He walks in and he says to his wife, hey, grab me a beer. And then she said, it's six o'clock in the morning. You know what I mean? He said it like it was 6 p.m. Hey, grab me a beer real quick. I mean, come on.

That's insane. Oh, listeners are saying, what about a rave? Have anyone ever been to a rave? Yeah. I haven't. Is that glow again? I'm sorry? Oh, we're talking about all the...

I thought we were doing the... Oh, yeah, I did too, Josh. They were going back to the word things. Oh, sorry, you thought we were going back to the Mohawk game. No, a rave. No, I never went to a rave. What did you do at a rave, Ashley? It was like an outdoor music festival rave thing.

They had it at the myth. I'm completely forgetting what it was called. I thought those... I thought those were like unannounced parties and old warehouses and stuff like that. They're like an abandoned sears. No, it's not like the movies. Oh, it's not. No, not at all.

It's very much a planned event. And you all take ecstasy and stay up all night? Molly, yeah. Molly? But that was probably, that was... Janelle looks so concerned right now. That was the latest nights, one of the latest nights I ever had. What are you now?

You're 28 or something? 28. And you're saying, that's it. There's no more staying up all night ever again for you. I have no interest in that. Don't you feel like you're kind of shorting yourself a little bit of fun? You're still so young. Yeah, probably, but I mean,

The kid changes that. Yeah, the child and I have a job where I wake up so freaking early that when I, it is the weekends, I'm like, all right, I'm getting that sleep. Kids don't change that for everybody. Jesus Christ, take a close look at some of my worn out friends. Some people go the other way. Yeah. No, we've done. Oh, you're right, Josh.

We've done bar clothes, but that's still too late. All night long. Oh, night. Is it Lionel coming in concert? Yeah, he's coming in concert. He is? Yes. Did you guys see him at the state fair?

Saw him at the state fair a few years ago. And he was super good. Grown folks were crying. It was one of the best experiences I've ever had watching Lionel at the damn fair. And he still got it. Oh yeah. This is seven or eight years ago. I imagine he's going to be fine.

Couldn't get enough of the crowd around me. That's what I love watching Lionel, but watching these people just come on corked. Before we take a break, I'll tell you about the guy that the best part of the show was the camera operators who were filming Lionel and filming the crowd and then putting those images up on those huge big screens next to the stage. They kept showing all these people just having the times of their lives dancing around. And it was just so much fun to watch these people react to the music.

But my favorite guy, he looked to be in about the fifth row. He was kind of a bigger guy, younger than most of the Lionel Richie fans that evening. He must have had a backstage pass, or he was totally insane. I don't know what. But he had all of his Commodores and Lionel Richie albums. He was hugging them. He was, you know, like a good six, eight inches thick records that he brought, brought to the show with him.

He's hugging them up against his chest and crying. Like, not CDs, not, like, the album. The albums. That's a lot of time fan. Yes. That's beautiful. Balling his eyes out. That is so great.

Did Lionel see him? He must have. He must have. The Half-Ass Morning Show. 93X. Are we there? Back live with the Half-Ass Morning Show, getting ready to wrap this deal up with Janelle Klein sitting around.

Josh. Yes, sir. You know that hairdo, the Mohawk? Yep. What if you received that haircut, courtesy of a Sesame Street Muppet that's speaks poor English. Elmo? Is that what it is? Tickle me? Oh, Tickle me Elmo.

What if you wanted that haircut, Josh, to love you as much as you love it? What kind of a haircut would it be then? I don't know the reference. I'm sorry. I want my haircut. Oh, is that a Rambo? That's a Rambo. That's a Rambo. Rambo, yeah. What if Jimmy Walker would have received that haircut and then he answered the telephone? What would the Shalohawk? That's right. And what if you had that haircut and you were on Park Avenue? What avenue would it lead? What avenue would it lead you?

Do you have a Mohawk? You're on Park Avenue. What avenue would it then lead to? Skid Row Hawk. It's a game that we've enjoyed here over the years, Janelle Klein, but we apologize. I love it. I've never heard you guys do this. before. We get a little crazy. I'm not good at the game, so I don't like it. Skid Row bassist Rachel Bolin has a solo album coming out next week.

Did you know that? Well, I'll be damned. Brace yourselves for the Rachel Bolin solo record. Coming out next week. Get your tickets now. Janelle, we got to go. Anything you got going on this weekend, anything fun? Nothing crazy. I hear it's going to be nice. Yeah. And I'm just going to stay right here in beautiful Minnesota. Have you recorded anything recently that we can look forward to watching?

You know, I haven't. I mean, I've done a lot of interviews and stuff, but nothing that's aired, I don't think yet. So, yeah, sorry to tell you guys, but nothing. Well, it's wonderful to have you back in studio. Sure is. So good to see you. Thank you. You had a great showing on the golf course on Monday. Well, I mean, we had a lot.

We had fun. Yeah, we had a lot of fun. I wouldn't say that we had a great show. No. It was pretty rocky. I think you saw the highlights, thankfully. I think I think things went downhill. Well, at least, at least, you didn't do any swearing. I was just going to ask Janelle's, Ashley's potty mouth as bad as it's made out to be. Ashley did a lot of loud swearing. Janelle never told me to calm it down. She seems like the type to be like, hey, all right, it's getting out of control. Janelle, let me ask you this. Before you went golfing with Ashley, had you ever heard a woman holler, hollered? the phrase skull F before?

I had never heard the phrase. You'd never heard anyone say skull F. No. That's what you say when your chipped is crap. I don't even know what that means. She said it twice. What I was taught, yeah, is that you just, like, you just shoot it past the green. Like a mother F.

She hollered the phrase skull F twice in front of Janelle, in front of my wife, who does not talk like that and does not support that type of. I do love it when your wife corrects you, or maybe I should say chides you when you say something awful. She doesn't like me using foul language. She comes after me for that. It's hilarious. Hey, Josh, what if I gave you a Mohawk and you gave me a Mohawk? What will we call it?

A quid pro quo? That's right. All the credit in the world for that one goes to barefooted Jeep hair Jesus. He has Jeep hair. That's very creative. That's brilliant. That's how you wrap up a week. Good luck to Class A, Osakis Boys Relay team and state track finals today from listening to O'SACIS Shias.

Candy Sheezis sent some good luck to her aunt. She's got a big job interview today. Get that sucker. And Tanker, Yanker, Jesus has a shout out to the sexy blonde he's been married to for 11 years. And a happy 35th birthday tour on Sunday. Have a wonderful weekend. 93X. Ah, air conditioning.

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