93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Rage Bait

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

Minnesota Wild forward Marcus Foligno. Meow-chie. Everything you wanna know about smelling animal butts. Originally aired Wednesday, December 3, 2025.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's going on, podcast, pimpts? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer and I think you should too. An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well.

Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. The comfort you deserve this 1930. The 93X half-ass morning show. It's time. Cubby says it's time. Welcome to the Godforsaken 93-X half-ass morning show.

The Wednesday model. Wednesday. Wonderful to be here. Terrific to have you listening. Don't look now, Cubby. But by damn, in just a couple, three weeks. She's going to be the year of 20 and 20. 20 and F me running 26.

It is weird how every December you do think, wow, where did the year go? Even though they do stretch on from time to time. Yeah, this one felt pretty long. Did it? Yeah. I've had, I mean, certainly like, you know, during the pandemic, my goodness,

those felt like long years. Oh. But I've had quite a few people lately say, I can't believe it's already December. How do we get here? And then I think, oh, my God, they forgot how a calendar works. I mean, we started with January.

We worked our way up to here. I don't have time to explain to you how time moves. There's a song we could sing to you about the months of the year. So with the new year on the horizon, as they say, all the year-end, best and worst-of lists are popping up here and there. All right. As we're coming to the end of the year, everybody pushes out their best-of and worst-of stuff. stuff. So we covered this already. Dictionary.com's word of the year for 20 plus 25 is that 6-7 routine,

even though that's not really a word. Yeah, that was strange. Okay. But it's, I mean, it's really a cultural phenomenon. Cultural. It started out with, you know, the young kids and now everybody's saying it. We were talking about we've seen adults wearing the Halloween costumes, the 6-7. You hear it constantly all over the place. I was at a casino last weekend up at Grand Casino Blacks. And there was this huge commotion at a blackjack table. And I thought, oh, man, they must have hit some type of big, you know, table jackpot.

So I go over to check it out. And it's grown people jumping up and down, high-fiving, hugging. They were celebrating because somebody got dealt six, seven, which if you know, Blackjack is a horrible hand to get. 13 is not where you want to be. But they were celebrating like they won the super. Super Bowl because somebody got dealt a six and a seven. Well, still, I'll consider myself lucky.

This is the only place where I ever hear the conversation. Surprised by them. I suppose you hang out with a lot of older people that maybe it hasn't reached yet, but I mean, a lot of adults, I hear it. It's crazy. Dictionary.com, their word of the year is that six, seven routine that all the junior high kids can't get enough of. Just for you folks keeping score the Oxford Dictionary, their word of the, the year, Josh, they went with rage bait, even though that's actually two words.

Yeah, it is two words, but that's perfect. It's perfect that they did that simply because that's another one you hear quite often, and I have thoughts on that. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Yeah, I'll share. But it's great because it did exactly what the word implies, and it pissed a lot of people off. So they got exactly what they wanted out of that. What had people upset?

The fact that they chose rage bait. Two words. Yeah, two words and just that how annoying they use that term as the word of the year. Okay. So they did exactly what they wanted to do. There are people who are upset with the choice. Yes, absolutely. Of course.

Well, that's true. It could be any choice. Who were they rooting for? Right. What word did you want so badly? You've really got a problem year after year with, what is selected as the word of the year. This is something that you worry about.

No, you know, it doesn't take, people can get mad about anything nowadays. It doesn't matter how into it they were before or afterwards. Obviously. Yeah, they went with rage bait. So rage bait says here is the reason you can't be online for five minutes without feeling stressed. They define it as online. content deliberately designed to elicit anger or outrage by being frustrating, provocative, or offensive, as Ashley would say, offensive. Yeah, if you have half a brain, though, you can realize when something's rage bait, just move on.

Is that right? Yeah. It's very obvious. Very obvious. I don't spend any time online. I wonder if I could Josh decipher something legitimate from rage bait. I'd imagine so. You think so?

Yeah. It's somebody trying to piss you off. But how do I know if it's not their, how do I know that their statement isn't a legitimate opinion? An easy one on Twitter is if they have the blue checkmark because that means they get paid for engagement. So they're trying to piss people off. So a lot of people will engage with them.

Really? When you're on Twitter, there's a little checkmark that will. It signifies that you get paid for engagement. Paid for engagement. You're paid to be on Twitter? Yeah, basically if you have a lot of people that reply to your stuff, you can get some money back. I don't think it's much, but I'm sure there's some big accounts that, I mean, support their life off of it. F me running.

Getting paid to be on Twitter, huh? In person when people rage bait, it's such a lame excuse in my opinion because it's like, no, you're just a dick. If you're trying to piss somebody off, you can't say, bro, calm down, I'm just rage baiting you, as if it was just a fun exchange. It's like, no, you're being an a-hole and using that as an excuse. So there are people who rage bait others recreationally? Absolutely. That's another one you hear with like my son and his friends. Dude, I'm just rage-baiting you, you know, trying to piss you off.

It's like, well, it's not a game. And you can't, it's such a lame excuse. It's like, I'm going to walk around and be a jerk and then say, hey, I'm turning around on this person. Look how lame they are. I got them to be pissed off. Well, I like to antagonize. I do. Maybe I'm a rage baiter, but I like to believe.

You are a rage baiter. Absolutely. Yeah. Sure. But tell me if I'm, tell me what you think about this, Josh, or give me your opinion on this. I do like to antagonize. I do like to instigate. But I like to believe that nine.

times out of 10, it's pretty obvious that I'm, and I'm not trying to piss off as much as I'm just trying to aggravate. Yeah, you like to do that to Randy. Randy Shaver? Yeah. That's fun though. You know what I mean? I don't think often I really hit a nerve on people. I just kind of like to ruffle a few feathers. Yeah, I think, what you do, I don't know, maybe I'm being crazy, but I think it's a little different. And I'm not talking about on air. I'm talking about in my personal life. I do get a kick out of doing that at the bar. Just aggravate a little bit. Certainly, I'm never out to piss somebody off, like legitimately anger them. Then I would be a dick,

like Josh was saying. Then I think I'm a legitimate prick. It's the people I think use it wrong they're using as if, hey, we're just busting balls. And I love busting balls. Oh, yeah. I love it. I mean, I get attacked constantly. You know, I like it. But when you know it's good-natured.

That's different than rage-baiting to me. Okay. Because, you know, and they try and explain it, like, well, that just means you're not good at busting chops. You're just not good at it. All you are is being good at being a jerk. And then trying to act like, hey, this is your problem, not mine. I'm rage-baiting you. Okay.

I have zero experience with, rage baiting. I've never had anyone say that to me like Josh was describing like in a social situation. I've never had anyone anger me and then say, hey, bro, settle down. I'm just rage baiting you.

But yeah, it's all in the delivery, isn't it, Josh? There is a skill to ball busting. There's a skill to antagonizing and aggravating. If you're no good at it, if you don't have the delivery, then you just come off like a prick.

There has to be an underlying feeling that, hey, this isn't mean-spirited. Right. It might be a mean thing I'm saying, but, you know, I do care how you feel about this. I don't want you to be upset. There's got to be something in your delivery or your body language that makes it obvious that you're just out to bust balls. Like, Dana, you're never are a rage baiter, but you're usually a masturbator. Absolutely. Yeah, you're masturbating a lot.

Constantly. Rage bait was one of three words that made the show. short list for Oxford Dictionary, their short list for Word of the Year. The two that fell short were biohack and aura farming. Biohack. I've never heard that before. ORA farming? No, biohack.

Like Ashley just said you. I've never heard of either one of them. Yeah, I... Biohack, I mean. Shoot, I just watched the show. Oh, I think the show Brilliant Minds had an episode on Biohack. You know, where these people are like using every available technology or every available, the latest health trends to try and live forever, basically. Oh, yeah?

Here's the definition that I have in front of me on biohack or biohacking. That's when you attempt to improve or optimize your physical or mental health using things like drugs, supplements, and new technology. So what did you see in this television program? Exactly that. There was a guy who he was a, I'm trying to remember if he was a social media influencer. I watched the episode a few weeks ago. He was, I think he was a social media influencer. Let's just go with that. And his whole goal was to find all the latest, maybe not necessarily trends, but the latest technologies to make him super, super healthy. And it backfired on him. The things he was doing kind of worked against him. It killed him?

No, no, they saved him, which is, you know, part of the show there. But, yeah, it was. What was he doing? And he just ended up? wildly. So the effect had the absolute opposite. All of these gimmicks he was trying. Yeah, it ended up. Tanked his immune system or something. I don't know. But yeah, so biohacking would be that, right? Supplements, certain exercises, different technologies, you know, like a perennium sunning. Remember that? Health trend? Things like that, right? Where sometimes it's kind of goofy.

Do you remember that when everyone was sunning their taint? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was a fun time. Yeah. I remember seeing pictures in a magazine of a bunch of older folks, of course. It's always the older folks because they don't care anymore. They're just out to try anything involving their own and others naked genitalia. Once Ashley, you and Dana get a little older, you'll know what I'm talking about. You hit a point where anything goes.

I remember seeing pictures in a magazine, Josh, of four or five old people. It looked very uncomfortable. They were on a deck somewhere, sun pouring down on them, and they were lifting their asses as high up into the air as they could, like holding their hips up with their hands. It did like a reverse crunch. Yeah. To get the sun to just blaze directly down onto their taint. Can you imagine it has, because according to these goofy articles years ago, it had great health benefits. Yeah.

Can you imagine sun burning? your taint. Oh, man. That part of my body doesn't need to see sun. Yeah, well, I think it was designed not to, right? Keep it in the dark. Right. There's a reason.

Not only the sun, nobody needs to see that part of my body. I had to have my bladder scoped, which is a tad uncomfortable. Oh, gosh. Sounds like it. Yeah, they go up right up a man's vulva, right? And then they pass that, get into your bladder. And the doctor, and I'm obviously wanting this to end. This went up your penis?

Yeah, my weiner. Yeah, weiner. Yeah, and so they do numb it up a little bit, which is embarrassing because it was a lady that did it. Not that kind of numb, numb, numb, numb. They shot a needle into your pecker. It was a little camera, right? So they snaked this camera up there, and what you said reminded me, Ashley, the doctor's like, isn't this amazing?

This is a part of your body that's never seen light as they're lighting up the camera, right? He was really infrawed by. Yeah, I'm glad he's into what he does. Yeah, paying attention. And I didn't want to be rude. But in my head, I'm going, I'm cool never seeing this. Let's just get this out of my weaner. No, dude.

This isn't awesome. Out of my weiner, he says. All right, so biohacking, damn near, became the Oxford Dictionary word of the year. Damn near. Better luck next year. IT system Jesus said Josh Brolin tanned his Tate. Excuse me, taint. He wrote Taint.

Taint. I'll believe it. He's a Hollywood person. Yeah, but he seems like the type of guy that wouldn't tan his taint. There's only one type of guy or girl in Hollywood, Josh. Totally and completely insane. I'd like to think there's a couple that aren't, but there is quite a bit of evidence suggesting what you just said. Yeah.

Biohacking damn near became word of the year. It did not, like we discussed. The award was handed to the people who came up with rage bait. also aura farming not oral people have been texting in saying oral farming sign me up no I'll harvest some oral anytime you want I bet you would aura farming let me tell you what that is it is when you cultivate an impressive attractive or charismatic persona online to convey an air of confidence, coolness,

or mystique. You create a side character and alter ego for yourself online. So even though you're some schmuck living in your grandmother's basement online, you have aura-farmed yourself into this

hey, hey, hey, kind of cool character with money and power and this and that. What I've been told is, how I've seen it used would be People who are trying real hard to look cool, right? And it's kind of embarrassing.

Like, you know, their aura farming over there, trying to gain some aura. That's their goal. Like there's people that will rent a private jet for a half hour just to do a photo shoot. Oh. They won't even go up in the air. They just take photos in there and make it look like, oh, look at me.

I'm jet-setting across the country right now in this private jet. Jet setting. Wow. Social media really has just created. a completely different world, maybe even multiple worlds at this point. This kind of stuff makes me really thankful when I grew up. I mean, like social media started to become a big deal, but it was mostly like Facebook and then Instagram started a little bit,

but it wasn't like it is now by any means. I'm so thankful for that. You would have loved the 70s then, Ashley. Oh, I know. I know I would have. When were you born? What year? 97.

Jesus, if you thought being five years old in 2002 was cute, you would have loved the 70s. Son of a gun. What happened? I'm not going to fall for it. I'm being rage baited here with some terrible things about my mom in oral farming. You're not going to work. It worked.

Sounds like it worked, Josh. Yeah, I was even reading through some examples of rage baiting. It's kind of fun. It's kind of fun. I never knew people were doing this in person until you... Well, of course... I mean, people have always done it, but now it's just an excuse, folks,

that don't know how to be funny use. Right. It's kind of like the new saying of like, oh, sorry, I don't have a filter. I just say what I... You know, I say it like I see it, you know, that type of thing. I thought it was strictly a social media thing. That's where I see it mostly.

Until Josh brought up, you know, the idea of someone face-to-face trying to start trouble with you and then backpedaling and saying, hey, bro, relax. I'm only rage-baiting you so I can remain hip and in. That's a very good comparison, though, Dana. Yeah, the people are like, hey, man, sorry, I'm just honest. I don't have a filter. The best is like when people are like, hey, I said no offense. No offense, you're an a-hole. I said no offense.

Why are you upset by that? So here are some examples of rage baiting. Intentionally wrong facts. An example here is when you state the best way to eat a steak is well done with ketchup. Only psychos disagree. Right. Trying to get people going.

Overly extreme takes. Like say any adult who plays video games is a failure at life. Fake exaggerated or misleading headlines. Hot takes. I can't believe I just said that out loud. Hot take posts attacking beloved things. The Beatles were the worst band in history. You always see that too where people like they try to make it a brag where they say,

oh, I've never even seen a Star Wars movie. Oh, yeah, yeah, something that's considered kind of nerdy. Yeah. Again, it's all in the delivery. Because a lot of this stuff sounds fun to me. You know, and it's, like I said, a few minutes ago, a few minutes ago, it's dawning on me that I guess my entire life, I've been a rage baiter. Without the title, you know. We used to just consider it, like Josh said, ball busting, you know, just being an instigator, an antagonist, just to get people going.

Weeb Jesus says rage baiting is just trolling. Yeah, really it is. Oh, trolling. See, I have to get. to get familiar with this stuff. And when you're the only person in on the joke, it's not really a joke. Right. I mean, again, like ball busting, everybody gets it.

You get it. It's fun. And you know my turn's coming around. This is different. You got to know your audience. You got to have the delivery and the timing. And, right, if you're the only one in on the joke, it's no fun. And, you know, I think it's okay to touch a nerve.

or two, just don't grab a hole to somebody's nerves, right, and really aggravate them. You got to know when too much is too much. I looked up rage bait on Twitter to see what, like, the top results are, and this makes me laugh. Somebody says, I'm really easy to rage bait because I'm already irritated. That's a good point. If I'm in a bad mood, and yeah, I'm scrolling on. social media and I see something, even though I know it's rage bait.

That really, yeah, that like puts me over the edge. Well, you know, again, I have time today. Let's go. I'd like to see some of this stuff online. I know when someone's trying to get on my case and aggravate me in person, but I'd like to get online someday and see if I can tell the difference. You guys seem to say that it's easy to tell the difference between. someone's legitimate opinion and rage bait. Yeah.

This one I thought of you, Ashley, a popular style of rage bait is an unpopular opinion, something that's obviously crafted to enrage people. Like say, dogs are gross and ugly. Why do people even like them? Rude. Oh, I know some people whose entire life is dogs, and they would come completely.

uncorked reading something like that. It is weird the people that, like, genuinely don't like dogs. You know that they don't like dogs. They want you to be aware of the fact that they're a little different than normal people out there. Well, sometimes they have good reason. Some people don't like dogs because they were bitten terribly when they were a kid or something like that. I can understand that, but people that are like, it just doesn't make sense. They're just, they're dirty.

Screw you. I've never seen a dog in real life. Never? Never once. Oh, come on. You have to have seen a dog, Josh. Never. Never saw one. Are you rage-bading me right now? Nope.

I know he's telling the truth. By the way, speaking of year-end lists, Rolling Stone magazine went ahead and called one battle after a damn another. They called it the best movie of the year. I thought it looked kind of boring. I've heard amazing things, but I'm just too lazy to find out where I can watch these movies these days.

I realize it's probably a Google search away, but... I think right now it's just on video on demand. Okay. Yeah, you can rent it or buy it on Apple TV right now. Maybe I will. Sounds like a lot of work. I love Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah, I've heard wonderful things, but yeah, I'm like you, Josh,

I saw the trailer and read about it and didn't really grab me. I was like, oh, I got to get to the theater to see this. Maybe just whoever did the trailer didn't get the good parts. Yeah, I don't know. But I've heard great things, too. Yeah, I think I've made me. maybe seen one, maybe two television commercials or something advertising one damn battle after another. Oh, is Leonardo DiCaprio chubby in this?

I don't know about that. Does that change you? Are you fat shaming, Leo? No, you're fat shaming. Yeah, or are you rage-baiting? Oh, yeah. That's hilarious, that that makes a difference to you. I'll let you borrow my copy of Titanic on DVD Ashley.

Well, he's an older guy. Maybe he's just naturally putting on some pounds. Is he a big drinker? He kind of has the face of one, but I couldn't tell you. Especially in this movie. I'll have to check this out. Yeah, they took away all of his aura for this role, it looks like. So you don't love him for the person he is?

No, not at all. You want his hot body. Yes. That's hilarious. He's got a hot body? I thought he was just kind of a scrawny some bitch. Yeah, Leonardo. That's my type.

Oh, oh, okay. You've met her husband. He's the perfect size, Dana. Never met her husband. Josh has yet to meet. Never even seen him. You've never seen a dog or her husband? Not one picture, nothing.

You've got to come over to my house. You can kill two birds with one stone. Well, two for one. Never seen one bird. And I got to say that we're not going to go anywhere near Rolling Stone. top 20 list of the movies of the year because one battle after another is the only on the list of 20 that I've even heard of. So don't worry about it.

Not a one. None of the other 19 movies I've heard of. Well, you heard of Frankenstein. Frankenstein. You really hadn't heard of Frankenstein? Well, I mean, I... The new one with... No.

Yeah, it's on Netflix. I liked it a lot. It was much better. better than I thought it was going to be. So there you go. I've heard Marty Supreme, also on the list, was good. Marty Supreme? Yeah.

We didn't hear about that. There you friggin go. So in what movie, Ashley, does Leonardo DiCaprio look his best? Oh, that's hard. Probably the Wolf of Wall Street. He really gets me with that one. And I like the whole, like, you know, he's making money illegally. He's doing coke.

I like that. Yeah. Slick suits and fancy boats and all the ass a man could handle terrible, illegal, crippling addiction to drugs. Yeah. And shady business deals. That was a good movie. Such a good movie.

Wolf of Wall Street. YouTube put out there, end of the year recap for the, well, I think maybe for the first time. I don't know that they've done that before. It was kind of cool. I was looking yesterday at, you know, Wall Street. what mine was. It's all nerdy stuff, but I thought that was kind of cool seeing that.

Oh, yeah, I just got my, I use YouTube music, sorry, Spotify users, and I just got my music recap this morning. What was number one for you? Do you remember? Let me see. I imagine it is Taylor Swift. What are we talking about?

YouTube? Yeah, but they put together something for you personally? Yeah, they put out, like, they have both, right, for everything, but also for you personally. Like Spotify does the same thing, and so obviously, So obviously YouTube music does?

Yep. Ashley. So it says this is what you listen to, this genre, this is the kind of stuff you watched. Here's the channel you watched the most. This is what you're interested in. Oh, I guess my top song, which is very surprising, was a bottom land by Hardy. I imagine you guys have no idea what that is. Not a clue.

Yeah, I guess I listen to that song for a total of 90 minutes. I'm not sure how many times that is, but quite a few. Okay, so Josh, what did they put together for you? What did you watch more than anything? anything on YouTube? Audio production videos. Audio production videos by what band? Hardy?

Is that a Hardy single? I've never heard of a Hardy. Neither have I. Although Hardees. I'm very familiar with Hardee's. Well, there's Jeff and Matt. Anyway, I was unaware of this. So at the end of, if I go to YouTube today,

it'll be on your app, yeah, right up top. I print you in an article about it. Oh, yeah, I didn't get a chance to read that article. So, and it just had, I'm trying to remember, I didn't really like the, maybe there's a different way to look at it. I didn't really, it kind of made a video of it. So you're sitting there watching a video with music behind it and it's, you know, it's kind of, or maybe a slide show would be a better way to put it. So like say if this year in the year 20 and 25, you watched a YouTube video on how to fix a garbage disposal, let's say you watched that video two or three times. At the end of the year, there will be a highlight of that garbage disposal.

Rep. Repair video in your YouTube recap. Yeah. Not that particular one, but it goes down the list of these are the types of things you watched for the year. Okay. And then, like, for example, 80s rock was big on mine, concert footage, productivity apps.

Cool. Like, learning how to do stuff like, how do I change a spark plug? You know, that kind of stuff. It'll say DIY videos. And it kind of throws. that all together and then it'll say this is the person that you watched the most this year and give you a list of that. Interesting. Yeah, it was very interesting. I was kind of surprised. The order was a little different than I would have thought. All right. I love that kind of stuff.

I love seeing this. They really are watching our every move, aren't they? Oh, yeah. I will say for the last couple years, my top artist has been Taylor Swift every single time. It says that I've listened to over 1,800 minutes of her. All right. You know, we started the conversation with rage bait. I'll go ahead. I've never listened to a, this isn't rage bait, this is legitimate. I've never listened to a Taylor Swift song in its entirety. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I don't know why you would. It doesn't seem like something you'd be into, but I'm sure you've heard a bunch of them in their not entirety. So that's not rage bait. I just, but some, some people might consider that rage bait. Oh, yeah, some swifties. Well, if you had said I've never heard Taylor Swift, that might be more

rage bait. Because it's hard to be a human being and never have heard it with her over exposure. No offense, actually for data well it's unbelievable unbelievable what we got going go to youtube and they'll tell you what you've been doing yeah during break you should look at it i'm sure it's similar to mine as far as like 80s rock and okay i'll try to find this yeah i imagine audio production videos and uh productivity apps probably aren't going to make your top 10 well it depends on what is a productivity app exactly yeah it's not going to make your top 10 then i'll try to find this i was unawed and now I'm wildly excited. We've got to get going.

Moving on to this and that. I think we'll talk to Marcus Felino a little bit later. Randy Schaver. The stupid news will be next on the Half-Ass Morning Show. The 93X Half-Azed Morning Show. What's going on, podcast, pimpz? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early.

I already got my AC tuned up for summer. I think you should too. An AC-tune-up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns and peace of mind before we get choke slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. Providing the comfort you deserves this 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy

Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bealky. He's got over 30 years. experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Action.

Next role with Vernon Davis. I'm your host Vernon Davis. Okay, y'all, thank you. Thank you. That's my mind. Today we have Dietrich Wise. Through my example, on the field, off the field, during game day and practice. That was one way that I lay.

because then it led to six success. Next role isn't about what's next. It's about why they do it. My man, Bobby Bones. Like, I've had a lot of stuff happen, bad and good. And so I don't have any fear of mixing it up. That's powerful, man. Next role with Vernon Davis.

Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. Josh was just telling us something very interesting. A few minutes ago, don't you know? Josh was telling us on YouTube. this time of year. They put together some kind of a year-end wrap-up, and YouTube will remind you of all the videos you've watched

over the last year. They put together like a little collage for you. Right, Covey? Correct. You had a good time with that? You found yours? Yeah. So some people are saying they can't find it.

Now, I'm wondering, I do pay for YouTube premium. Well. Well, it's a work-related thing. If we have to get a YouTube video up immediately before what would happen is I'd click on it. It'd be like an ad for Prilosec is great if you got an upset tummy, right? So you can skip the ads. Mr. YouTube premium over here.

By the way, if there's an IRS guy, can I write that off on my taxes? Anyways, so you, maybe that's a YouTube premium thing because Ashley said she pays for YouTube music, and you had a thing for it. I found mine I don't pay for YouTube. Okay, so that's what I was going to ask for folks. You sign into your Google account, right? You have to have an actual YouTube account, even just a free one in order to find it, I'm guessing. Oh, mine didn't give me one.

I must not watch enough YouTube videos. Yeah, do you sign into your account? Yeah. Okay. That obviously makes a difference. If you're just using something generic, then it's not going to keep it. Very interesting. End of the year.

Yeah, it was cool to see that. Now, I received the text message here from Dumb Bolt Tightener Jesus. He said he thinks it would be. cool if the porn sites that you visited throughout the year would give you a spank recap. Oh, I would hate that. Yeah,

I don't think that would be enjoyable because of a medical term that we all know is legitimate called Post Nut Clarity. Yeah. I've told you guys before, I have a buddy who loves porn. Absolutely loves it. Kind of gets into, in my opinion, not to kink shame,

but some weird stuff. Well, but you think doggy style is weird. Like from behind? Yeah. Yes. Because you can see the girl's butthole. You're foul, yes. Yeah, he doesn't like that.

You think fully nude sex is disgusting. Fully nude sex should never happen. What about this buddy of yours? So I mentioned this before. He will close the browser tab before the moment of glory because he hates the post nut clarity where when he wraps up, he looks back and sees what he was watching. Yeah, I don't think a lot of guys would want to see their

porn movie recap. I mean, it wouldn't all be regretful, but enough to where you'd walk away and say, Jesus, what the hell was on my mind that evening? You know what I mean? You might find out that, gosh, I'm really into something I had no idea. I didn't know that was my... Like some people are texting in some of the stuff they found on their YouTube

recaps, and they didn't realize they watched that kind of thing, or that often, I should say. You can't remember every damn thing over a full calendar year. A porn movie recap, I don't know. I think because of Postnut Clarity, a lot of dudes would struggle with that. One of my favorite porno movie stories I've ever heard, specifically, about a guy sitting down in front of his computer to watch porno.

A listener sent this into us, Josh, tell me if you remember this one. We were talking about, you know, there are certain people in relationships who don't like that. they get jealous of their partner's porn viewing oh that's what you really want you know that gimmick right i told you i had a girlfriend that started crying when she found out i've even watched porn right was it some weird stuff no it was just porn in general like i just mentioned casually i go yeah you know it's kind of like in porn she goes oh you don't watch that do you and i go well yeah don't you i'm a live human being

right yeah and it was weird stuff josh and she she got emotional and she wasn't like a church girl either well she was insane yeah I mean but I mean she was into drugs and booze and everything so the fact that she was shocked that I watched porn

blew my mind that's where she draws the line yeah I thought pretty much everybody watched porn I thought that was kind of maybe that's not the case but I thought it was fairly common amongst most people yeah it is

so I remember years ago on this program, we were having a conversation about those who are jealous of porn. And we received a text message from a guy who said, he watches porn movies on his computer and his wife does not mind. She

understands that, despite the fact that they're married, he's still a big, dumb animal that needs to watch some porno actresses now and again. So he says, she didn't have a problem with it at all, but there was a misunderstanding. He said he was

a setting there like we do in front of his computer. His pants and his underwear were around his ankles and he's tugging himself loose like he was getting paid for it. His wife walked in on this situation and he said that also

normally wouldn't be a big deal. But his wife was a little confused. He said it was all bad timing. Our dude, he finished while the camera shot on the porno movie was focused on the woman, right? Mm-hmm.

But when his wife walked in, the camera shot had cut to the man finishing himself. So his wife thought that her husband was finishing while watching the video of another man finishing. That just timed out perfectly. There was no woman involved. Right. Right. All right.

The video was done with the woman at that point. the video was going to show this porn actors ungodly money shot, right? So he said, just for a minute or two, I think, if I remember correct, she said, is that something you're into? And he said, no, no, no, you just caught me at the wrong. I always loved that story. There he is with a mess on the floor, right? And he's still naked from the waist out, and he's got to say, no, no, honey, you see what

happened was the video was. I would never want to walk into something like that. My buddy of mine had to sleep on the couch for two weeks because his wife caught him masturbating, not even to porn. That's all he did. And he's like, well, you know, we hadn't done anything together in a long time. So it wasn't like I was choosing this over you. I just had to get the poison out.

But she caught him doing that. And yeah, he had two weeks on the couch. They're divorced at this point. Come on that case, Dana, she was very religious. Oh, come on. religious. Jesus. That makes a difference for sure.

All right. Medical device Jesus, you know, saying how my friend closes the browser tab because he doesn't want to see it after Postnut Clarity. He just doesn't want to know what he was masturbating to. And medical device Jesus brings up a good point. What's worse is if there's just a black screen there and you see your reflection.

Just looking in the mirror. It's like, oh, that's what I look like? My God, look at me. This is disheveled. This is what I've become. You sick animal. All right. I'll throw a warning at you here real quick.

Before we go mental here with the stupid news, we're going to be discussing ass, genitalia, urine, damn near all four food groups during today's report. ass genitalia urine and we're beginning here with a couple of those folks who got something or another caught up in their guts different circumstances similar results so anyways here we go with all that an older feller 67 years old by god josh this year dude lives in china he got a little bit case of gut rot, starting about a month ago, went ahead to the doctor's office. A doctor and actually some other patients who were also waiting to be seen, they held our guy down. That's how they do it in China. Oh, yeah, just get help from the civilians.

Right. They held our guy down. He's kicking and hollering. They snaked a camera up his can and they spotted something. Remember, he had a little gut rot. About 30 days. They did spot something. They just weren't sure what the hell it was,

which was unfortunate because that meant the next step was to crack this poor Chinese bastard open. They got a sharp knife. They cut a pimp in a professional manner, like an operation, surgery. They took a look, see. When the poor guy was shown images of the object in his guts, He remembered. I love these kind of stories. Oh, yeah.

Right, right, right. That's what he said. He said, oh, yeah, I remember that now. And then he sat everyone down and told them a story. He said, 30 years ago, he was out drinking, and he swallowed a plastic lighter on a dare from his bros. At the age of 37. Yeah.

It's more of a 17-year-old thing to do than the 37. Or even early to mid-20s. I didn't consider that, Josh, but yes, he was a 37-year-old man. Maybe they do things different in China. Well, you heard about how they operate on a guy. They just kind of get everyone in the room to hold you down, whether you're willing or not. Yeah, 37 years old out drinking with his broskies,

and he ends up swallowing a plastic cigarette lighter on a dare. You're right. That sounds like eighth grade. But now he assumed, he had dumped it out over the years. You know, he thought he had sat on the John and pressed that lighter out. That tells me something about a guy because I would never assume that I would make sure.

I would be inspecting every bowel movement which happens about once a week. Even, Josh, even on a hard fart, I think I would remove my pants to see if that cigarette lighter had. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I'd check my underwear every once in a while. I also would never assume such a thing.

I would check. You don't assume. that kind of thing. No. And also you just hope it doesn't come out sideways. Yeah. Oh, boy. I felt like that before.

Have you? Oh, yeah. Dude thought, he thought for sure he had pressed that lighter out years ago, but he had not. So, doctors pulled the lighter out of the guy's gut pile. And you know what? The damn thing still worked. You'd have to try it, with it? Absolutely.

That's incredible. Light them up, everybody. And they did. The doctors lit a celebratory post-op cigar with that lighter that had been swimming around alongside this guy's turds for the last 30 years. I've eaten things where my stomachs felt on fire. I had some chili the other day that basically cooked my colon. It was out of control hot. Very good, but hot.

See, you just got to, like, build up the tolerance. I eat Tabasco sauce. almost with almost every single meal. And I have no issues. You know what I eat and have zero issues? Insulation. Oh, really? Yeah.

But even like the little shards in there? Yeah, like the stuff up in your ceilings in the wall. The pink fluffy. Yeah, it looks like cotton candy. I eat insulation. I never had a problem. I prefer cock. I get all the cock you can and put it in my mouth.

Just fill it up. Get it real foamy. You eat a lot of cock. Uh-huh. The lighter guts guy, he's going to be okay. He is. And he's got a new lighter. Yeah, you got to keep it.

It's an old. Old lighter, but new to him now, I guess. After 30 years. Just like you say, a new car, if it's a used car. This is my new car. Yeah, you got to make a necklace out of it or something. Yeah. Maybe that's a little shadow box.

Yeah, that's what I think you did. The doctor's had a difficult time to lighten that cigar. The lighter kept kind of slipping out of their hands. It was a little greasy. Can you imagine holding something that looks like a turd and then lighting it with something that was just buried in a turd? I would show something else, like a birthday candle or something. Now, and then, of course, while we're on the topic, like I said,

earlier, we're going to talk ass and genitalia, urine. while we're still headed in that direction, there's always one or two of these type of stories where a dude has to come racing into the hospital near death because of something that he, quote, accidentally stuck up his tender colon, something that accidentally ended up stuck in his anus. This kind of thing helped me quite a bit

getting my first colonoscopy, which I was terrified about, canceled the appointment three times. Did you really? Three times? I mean, I was really nervous. For me, that's an exit only, weekly only.

Oh, live a little. But that's what I thought, like, you know, I can handle this. There's people that do this recreationally. You hear about it all the time. And sometimes horror stories, it's amazing what can go up there. that kink helped me feel a little better about going in.

And as we've said many, many times, but it deserves to be said again, not a big deal. If you're worried about it, I wasted so much time. Colonoscopies are not a big deal. Not at all. No, no, they're not. I agree. So, yeah, we're always able to find one of these stories.

Websites love this stuff. Oh, I love hearing about it. Oh, speaking of a year-end list, like we were talking about in the opening break, they always do that year-end list. Here's what doctors had to fish out of people's butts. Yeah, those are fun, too. Those are fun. And any time we talk about this, we'll have somebody that works in an emergency room or a doctor say, you wouldn't believe how much of this kind of thing we find.

Yeah, it's very common. Websites love it. We'll probably have that list that Dana just mentioned in the next handful of days. In flipping Taiwan, a dude had to have full-on four-alarm emergency. surgery on account of some effing ceramic cup that was trapped in his can says here it was a 8 centimeter by

6 centimeter ceramic cup if that helps you at all. It doesn't help me at all. I can't picture centimeters I don't know what they're talking about. Doesn't sound very large. Yeah, I mean... Or am I wrong? Would that be like 3...

I forget how the math works. Three inches? I can't picture. Four inch. But he had a ceramic cup lodged in his ass. He said the cup had been inside his bottom for three days. He told the doctors that the cup was

in his fart box by accident. He was sweating profusely when he walked into the doctor's office, walked with a limp. Three days it had been there. He said he was too embarrassed to come into the emergency room right away. I could see that. Yeah.

He also said he was dying to take a deuce. He'd been pushing like hell to make it happen, but all he could do is queef. That's interesting. Doctors knocked the sum bitch out cold so they could reach up his B-hole and fetch that cup. They called in their hands team. And they're their hands team, like pooper cup? I'm sorry? I shouldn't have done that.

I liked it. Thank you. Famous football player Cooper Cup playing that. There's a cup and there's poop involved here. Yeah, right. I'll go back to the drawing board. Elbow deep, they went. This guy died twice while under sedation,

but they were able to bring him back. Once it was all over, the cup had been removed. Dude still wouldn't be honest with the doctors as far as how he got himself into such a pickle. He still claimed it was an accident. Okay. I would. I'm going to go along with it.

I would claim it was an accident or some sort of assault, you know, where I was robbed. And they're like, you know what we're going to do with this cup? We're going to put it back there, pal. I would have to. I could never say, yeah, I got that horny. I sat on it just right on accident. It's all, yeah.

I happened to be naked and I fell right on it. It's incredible. Even though you both know your full of, I was going to say full of crap, I didn't even mean that. You both know you're lying. Yeah. You kind of have to, right? And like you said, too, the doctors, they see this all the time,

so it's not a big deal to them. They're not going to, they're going to forget about you, you know, just a couple minutes later when the next guy comes in with something up his cane. I agree. If it helped save my life, I'd be as honest as I possibly can with the doctors. I would just never go back and see that same. doctor again. No, never. Well, in that case, I don't think you need to be honest, right?

They know there's a cup up there. I would just say, oh yeah, I have no idea how it got up there. That's crazy. Well, yeah, but if they told me, we need to know the truth or you're going to die. Well, that's totally good. Yeah, that's what I said. If my life depended on it, I would absolutely be honest with the doctors, and then just never go

see that same doctor again. So what? It's a total stranger to you. What do you care? Although, what if there's another emergency and the same doctor's working on that time as well? I'm going to wait for next guy. When's the shift change? I can't see this person again. I'm going to Uber to the other hospital. I've had that happen. That might not work, Dana. I've had that happen before where I went to a hospital and I hated the doctor that they had in the emergency room. And I ended up having to go

back to the hospital. Surprise, surprise, a couple days later. And I went to a different hospital and he was a floating doctor. So he was at the other one. He walked in and I audibly said like, what the F? Why? I'm telling you. Oh, that sucks. Here's something for you stupid idiots who enjoy traveling. If you ever find yourself in Japan,

and you're not already busy attending the two-week-long Mr. Big Tribute exhibit. There's a zoo or an aquarium or some type of joint over there that will go ahead and let visitors smell the animal's asses. Oh, that doesn't appeal to me. No. There's no animal out there summers, Josh, where you've always wanted to get a good deep whiff of their backyard? No.

They call this joint the Atowa Aquarium. But I see nothing in here about fish, but they called it an aquarium. What does it matter? I'll keep going anyway. They call this joint, the Atowa Aquarium. It's in a place called Kobe Japan. They call it an educational exhibit where visitors can find out, right there on the spot, they can find out.

They can find out right on sight what different animal anuses smell like. Bad they all smell like poop. For Christ's sake, there are holes in the walls at this zoo. It's like a glori hole. You put your face up to the hole, a position that you true eaters are familiar with. You put your face up to the hole, the holes in the wall by God, they spray out artificially created simulations of the smell of animal ass dependent on which hole you approach.

Have you guys ever been to one of those, you know, those, like the experiences where there's something on the screen and all of a sudden you're going underwater and then they missed you a little bit. Or sometimes they put scents out and stuff. That is super cool. I love those. Yeah, those are kind of cool. I forget what they're called.

There's like a sky one. You're flying over trees and they'll throw a pine scent out there or whatever. That's kind of cool. But the but one I'm not too. It's a lot of one. No. Where can you go for this, Josh? The Mall of America, well, I can't, Disneyland for sure.

You sit in the chair, it's a simulation. Sometimes you're moving, right? Yeah, I think the one that I went to was at the Mall of America, Josh. That sounds familiar. They have one there. I can't remember if that one has those, you know, the scents and the spring or whatever, but certainly Disneyland or Disney World has those. I see.

It's cooler than you might think. Little scents are shot. It's immersive. Immersive, that's the word. Odors are sheds. shot at your face to enhance the experience. You're flying over the state of Colorado. It smells like grass, things like that.

Okay. That would be hilarious. It just reeks like weed. There are videos going around of suckers actually volunteering for this smelling an animal's ass gimmick. And a few of them look like they're about to puke their guts out if you watch the videos. Surprising. Why anyone would put them?

themselves through such a thing I have no idea, but the Japanese have always been different. They have that reputation. Yeah. Don't know how true it is, but stories like this suggest that although the, what is it called, bodies, the bodies exhibit, that one's a little odd, and that one travels all over the place. Oh, that is so sweet. It's fascinating, but, yeah, but creepy.

Yeah, it gives you the hebi-jeebies a little bit, but it's really, really cool. You know, like an egg slicer, Dana? Yeah. Where you put it in a little deal, and there's all those little, it just cuts it in little pieces. They do that with people. You can see slivers of people. I don't like that. It's creepy. They brought brains to our elementary school

for us to look at it. I got very sick. Oh, real human brains? Just looking at them? Oh, really? Yeah. I remember we saw like animal brains. And then actually, so it's probably sick. I don't know if they do this still. But it was either my middle school or my high school. It doesn't matter. We dissected pigs.

And I guess they have like really long intestines. So you got extra credit if you could jump rope with it. Oh, you're messing with us. Because if you dissected it perfectly, you wouldn't have cut the intestines at all. So yeah, if you could jump rope with it, they gave you

extra credit. That's hilarious. Will you just be honest with us and tell us that you're Canadian? Just why do you always want? What word was at this time? Intestines? I didn't realize I was saying it wrong. What are you hiding?

I was afraid to say that word because I feel like I've never pronounced it correct. I find it adorable. I don't want to correct you. You are clearly Canadian. Good drink. So did you jump? There's a drink called clearly Canadian. It's a sparkling water type thing.

Wow, that's amazing. So did you jump rope with the pig intestines? No, I didn't dissect it correctly. So I severed them. I couldn't handle that class, Ashley. Thankfully, we had to do partners. He had to team up with somebody. everybody every team grab a pig and my partners did all the work I don't remember cutting anything up I must have not been

accepted to those classes really you never dissected a pig or a frog a worm yeah we did a frog that's it or excuse me a worm as well worm I think the worst part of that was it wasn't the dissecting the animal it was the smell from them sitting in the yeah this formaldehyde yeah I was just going to mention that's the worst part and also I don't know if you're experience, Ashley, but it wasn't a one-day project for us. Like, we'd work on it, then you'd bag it up, and then put it in the back. So it was like a week long, they'd have to go grab your half-dissected pig out of the bag and throw it

back on the table. Yep. It's just gross. Jeep Thing, Sheez said the Mall of America still has fly-over America. And there's even a Christmas version where you fly over the North Pole and you smell gingerbread cookies. Oh, I need to do that at me.

I want to try that too. Isn't that cute? All right, you don't need me to tell you this. You already know. Oh, but I'm going to go ahead anyway. The lengths some people will go for social media notoriety. Or the lengths some people will go just to make a few bucks on that godless, soulless, evil, and wildly misinformed social media.

It just further convinces me that we are currently, living in the dumbest era in the history of our country. We're just dumb. And mix in some childlike anger, too. That's us. And only fans gal who goes by the name of Kinky Kelly. She's a 24-year-old gal. Kinky and Kelly both with an eye.

She's going to have to sit her little willing bottom in jail for the next six months. Here's why. She filmed herself urinating on food at a supermarket and put those videos on OnlyFants Oh, and she peed all over everything at a local hotel as well And made videos out of that Stop peeing on things. Just stop. Everybody stop. This is mine After her six months in the cooler is up

She'll be on probation for two years She also had to pay over $10,000 to the supermarket for pissing on all of their food. The poor bastards at the supermarket had to throw every damn thing in the trash and scrub is how you say it, every inch of the joint because of dumb-ass, stupid Kelly,

Kinky, whatever her name is. Kinky Kelly? That's such a bad name. At the hotel, she took a piss on the Bible and a blanket and some curtains. and in an air conditioner.

She's so kinky, isn't she? Oh, and then she took a crap on the floor of the hotel. Oh, oh, wait. And then she picked up her own warm turds with her hand and slam dunked them into a toilet tank. Oh, the tank? Is she kinky or what, Josh? Yeah, there's a lot of things about this.

I don't understand. One is how you just don't care. about any other person in the entire world other than yourself. Right. And then the second is, I mean, you could do that stuff in the privacy of your own home, and she could still have people watch her only fans. But it's not kinky if she's doing it in her own home. She's doing it.

It could be kinky. Oh, it's not. I think she could pee on, say, hey, send me your favorite bow tie. I'll pee on it and mail you back, and I bet she's going to make some money. She squeezed out a turd on the floor of the hotel, then picked it up. and put it in the toilet tank so it's like a more disgusting version of what they call an upper decker. Local cops in New Hampshire or wherever this disaster happened, they say that all this absolute nonsense was recorded for subscribers to her $15 a month only fans page,

which has been deleted. But it says here there are still a few wonderful Kinky Kelly VIII. videos on the internet summers, one, where she takes a piss on some new clothes in a changing room. Oh, geez. Yeah, this is all for her, I think, more than anything else. What a freak. Some people do not deserve to breathe the same air as other people.

And also, why poop on the floor and then pick it up and put it in the toilet? That's very strange to me. Like, commit. If you're going to poop on the floor, just leave it on the floor. Unless she had to change the chart at heart. Every man needs a coat, Josh. No turd left behind. I'm going to guess her folks are either dead or they gassed all contact with Kinky Kelly a long time ago.

But if not, Josh, close your friggin' beautiful eyes. Okay. Imagine moms and dads out there. Imagine yourself. you learn that your daughter is Kinky Kelly. Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed, and I'd wonder why I let my wife or talk me into naming my daughter Kinky Kelly at that point. I made a terrible error in judgment.

Imagine you learn that your daughter is the current poop and pee queen on the internet. Yeah, I wouldn't like that at all. What do you do? You make her change her last name. You certainly take her out of the will. Just the disappointment. I'd rather have her, well, maybe not. I was going to say, I'd almost rather have her rob a bank.

Do something a little more normal. Yeah, absolutely. Where people understand the motivation. You know what's wrong. I think that makes perfect sense. I think I would also rather have my child. Oh, God, that's the gas. It always comes up at the end of the stupid news report where my chest is just overwhelmed with gas.

I would also rather my child stick up a liquor store. And maybe even two and, up the liquor store owner a little bit, right? Yeah. I'd rather have some violence and some robbery come out of my kid than have my child be the poop and pee queen or king of the internet. Yeah, steel office supplies, you know, hotwire a car. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe some money laundering or something. Even if my son, you know, beat up the 94-year-old owner of that liquor store, I would rather have that in the papers than all my bros down at the Legion find out that my son is the poop king of the internet. That's who you raised. Maybe this isn't worse, but there's folks, obviously, that we're paying $15 a month to watch that.

Where do we go there? Oh, yeah. See, I don't have that kind of money. Covey, would you split the subscription fee with me? Okay, it's worth $750 a month. Do you have $750? Just to watch a woman disappoint her parents video after video. But if we spend that $750, I suppose we can't go see Air Bud.

Anyway, we'll look into our finances. What do we call it? Sports is coming up next on the program. Sports. On the 93X half-assed morning show. I always explain this to people like, bro, you give somebody a $5-year $100 million contract, right? What is it really? It's five years for 60.

You're getting tax. Dude them out. That's 12 a year, you know, that you have to spend, use. save, save, invest, flaunt, whatever, however, just being real. I'm going to buy a car, I'm going to get my mom at my house, I'm going to do, everything costs money. So if you're spending $4 million a year, that's really $40 million over five years, eight a year, you know, and now you start breaking down the numbers. It's like, that's a five-year span of where you're getting $8 million.

Can you make that last forever? Yes, Queen. Finally, somebody's saying what we've all been thinking all this time. What's that? How miserable it would be to sign a $100 million contract and be able to afford your life? This is really interesting, and I'm looking forward to getting into this with Randy Schaver and the other guy's name escapes me. Brad Rider. I'm looking forward to getting into this with those two fellers.

That's former current, I don't know what he is anymore, a wide receiver, Odell Beckham, Part 2. And he more or less is talking about the struggles of trying to make $100 million dollars, last. That's what that I got lost. There were so many numbers being said. I know. It was he was trying to make a case for himself. We'll get into it later, but it's really interesting to me that this guy is trying to claim, hey, you folks out there who don't play professional football, you don't know what it's like. It's not easy making $100 million last. So we'll save it for later. Things cost money. I'll say this, though. Of course, they do, sure, but it is $100 million.

I was tried to find what the average American makes in their lifetime. Lifetime. And so let's say you work 45 years, full time for 45 years. The average was $3.1 million. And he's worried about $100 million sustaining his lifestyle. I'm telling you, this is going to be fun. It's going to be fun. When those two dickheads come around here in about a half,

Bauer. Oh, she was a much closer game than I think the boys were interested in last night, but the Timberwolves beat New Orleans in overtime and another win for the pigs and another shutout for this. Are you ready, dude, who was critical of me yesterday? Another shutout for Jesper Wollstett. Just yesterday, Josh, I was calling him Jesper Wollstead. I could see why. That's what it looks like. I didn't realize that I was an. idiot. Yeah. Don't do that.

Ouch. I hate myself. A kid I used to know, now he's a fully blown, nearly 40-year-old man. When he was a little kid, he was one of my best friends' nephews, Ashley. We used to hang around this little kid, and he loved to play this particular four-wheeler video game where he's racing and jumping four-wheelers. And when he'd crash the video game four-wheeler, he'd slam the remote down on the ground, and he'd go, I hate myself. I'm a dummy. I hate myself. Oh, that's so sad. And we still give

him, we still give him hell about it to this day. He's doing okay now? He's fine. All right, that's good to know. He's fine. But when he would get mad at himself when he would crash that four-wheeler in the four-wheeler video, he hated himself and he would slap himself in the head. Your head's red. Is he still kind of have that temper? Oh, hell no, no. He was. for himself. How you doing, Corey? He was on our fall booze crews. Maybe I introduced him to do it.

Oh, yeah. I met everybody you brought on that day. Corey, total pimp. Oh, so the pigs won. Rainy Shaber, Brad Rider, and a half hour don't go anywhere. Josh's news report is coming up next. The 93X half-assed morning show.

What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I got my AC tuned up for summer, I think you should too. An AC tune-up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get chokeslammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC-tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well.

Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve this 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bealki.

He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bealky Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialkylaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-L-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Vince Konez is redefining news talk. I'm Vince Kahnay's host of the Vince Podcast.

I'm bringing you the truth beneath the headlines of all of the nation's top stories. In-depth interviews. We feature newsmaking interviews with the top guests on the whole planet. And I'll ask the questions you only dream of other interviewers asking. And a front row seat to the most important conversations of the day. It's a show with an obsessive focus on what's good for America. You are going to love Vince. The Vince Show.

Follow and listen on your favorite platform. So right now we're asking everybody to stay clear the different intersections right now. because right now the house is considered dangerous. A Texas man barricaded himself inside his home after making a threat to his roommate, a threat that he'd chop him up and feed him to their cat. Which sounds very mouchy. The trouble began on a Saturday afternoon when police were called to 52-year-old Bobby Roka's house. His roommate who told officers he'd known Roka since childhood

explained he'd accidentally let Roka's dog and cat slip out of the front door. Roka was already upset, so when the roommate returned empty-handed from searching for the pets, Roka exploded in anger, pointed a gun at him, and threatened to, quote, chop him into pieces and feed him to the cat. The San Antonio PD said the roommate gathered his belongings and called 911. That was it, huh? He'd heard enough. Yeah, that's all he needed. He's known the guy for a while, so maybe he realized it's a possibility. When officers tried to make contact with the raging Roka,

Roka basically said, F you! I won't do what you tell me, holding officers in a standoff, which stretched on for six, seven hours before finally giving up on Sunday. That man remains in custody with a court date set for February, which, by the way, is National Cat Health Care Month.

That cat would totally eat him, too. Over the dog? Yeah. Yeah, don't cats typically eat you shortly after you pass away? Yeah, they don't have. give you much time. If you give them that opportunity, yeah, they will eat you up right down to the bone.

Maybe this is evidence, Josh, or an example of if you're too close with someone for too long, you know, you can end up becoming a rageful maniac. You said that these two had been friends since childhood. They were roommates.

A little bit too much familiarity. They're just, yeah. Yeah. Someone's going to end up snapping in the end. You know, I know, I know People sometimes will get in relationships where everything the other person does. Even if it would never be annoying to somebody else that annoys the heck out of you. Oh, beyond annoying. I hate the way you breathe.

Right. You know, just a little bit of everything? Right. I've heard it all. In the first ever sex scandal involving the Catholic Church, a Minnesota priest now finds himself charged with stalking, criminal sexual conduct, and violence against a woman he was supposed to be helping, not humping. I hope that there are some people who,

did not read Josh's sarcasm. And they have access to a cell phone and our text number, which is 651, 989, 93. I'm very interested to see if there were folks out there who did not read your sarcasm. Yeah, because I imagine people using their fingers to type angrily as hard as they can on the screen. Right. The priest in St. Cloud acted anything but saintly, and his future is much cloudier after the St. Cloud man was charged with, with half a dozen churches throughout the state during his recent ministry he worked at. He's 61, the man of God.

Police opened their investigation August 24 after a woman reported she sought spiritual advice, aid and comfort through confession. But comfort became contact, and contact became something far more concerning. Church leadership soon received multiple reports from witnesses hinting at an overly intimate relationship, including late night and early morning sightings of the priest at the woman's. home suggesting their relationship may have turned biblical quote unquote those claims prompted the man cloth to be placed on administrative leave while the church conducted a probe of their own the allegations go beyond inappropriate boundaries he's accused of multiple violent interactions with the woman

violent interaction oh i thought he just had a sidepiece well yes he did oh but he also got violent with her oh jesus balls including repeated death threats i should say allegedly got violent with her alleged death threats. In one incident, she confronted him after he received a text, she believed came from someone he was romantically entangled with. Another lady, and he allegedly threatened to kill her. On another occasion, while taking her to an event on his motorcycle, he's the cool priest, the Holy Harley Rider,

allegedly threatened to kill them both by plowing into a tree. This friggin guy. She told investigators he'd made similar threats before. One encounter ended with minor scrapes after she jumped off the motorcycle at a stoplight. Investigators later corroborated her account using witness statements, text messages, and police reports, and the priests due in court December 29th, just days after Jesus's birthday. This is actually the second St. Cloud area priest accused of inappropriate conduct in just the past two months. Apparently, the pastoral pipeline in Stearns County is quite sinful.

Last October, another Catholic priest with the diocese there was accused of sexual misconduct with a woman, while serving as her spiritual advisor. She told law enforcement she had sexual contact with the 47-year-old and alleged he used his religious role to manipulate and pressure her into those acts. Well. That horny, holy man is scheduled to appear in court next month. That's just absolutely. Yeah, at first I thought you were describing a priest who just had a little side action, God being his main squeeze, of course.

Supposed to be his only squeeze. But that turned ugly, didn't it, Coby? Yeah, yeah. So allegedly, there was more than one, and allegedly, he apparently might have got a little physical in the bad way. What the hell is going on? The now former superintendent of a West Suburban Illinois School District racked up thousands of dollars on his government credit card for porn

and then managed to waste the rest. Last month, 53-year-old William Touloulau was a superintendent of Argo Community High School. He stepped down as part of an agreement with the school board. He'd already been placed on leave in April a few months after a report surface questioning his spending. According to the report, he'd purchased adult content online. He told the board he'd mistakenly used his school credit card and then tried to cover it up by asking an employee to create false invoices. Not long after, he attempted another exercise. explanation, claiming his masturbating son used the credit card information without authorization.

That's bogus. He threw his son under the bus. That's so bogus. My kid loves to jerk off the porn and he must have stole the card. That's pretty low. That poor kid. Oh, man. And his dad used to work in the school system.

All his buddies are going to give him crap the rest of his life. Oh, that sucks, man. That's the biggest crime here. The investigation showed his story continued to shift over time. At one point, he insisted the card itself had been compromised, which he said explained those charges for Smut. Over nine months, the report found he spent $2,500 on an adult website. Immediately after that, he charged about $1,100 to Slushy, also an adult site. Slushy.

I hadn't heard of that one. Yeah, it was new to me. Everybody knows about Slushy. Between January of 2024 and May of 2024, he charged $158 on the school's credit card for boner pills. Records also revealed more than 26 grand in Amazon purchases. And, you know, he's a little charitable with the public's money as well. $175 he donated to his son's hockey club. With boner pills for his kid too.

Throughout his five-year, 10-year, he regularly used his school-issued card for food and beverages. He spent about $92,000 in those expenses. Eventually, he admitted he shouldn't have used the card for personal purchases. Yeah, well, you're right. The greatest crime he committed was throwing his kid into the conversation and accusing his, well, not accusing, claiming his child was some kind of masturbation freak. The kid likes to touch himself, you know? And the kid's thinking, yeah, I appreciate that, dad. It's tough enough being a kid these days, but on my own dad. No kidding, it was a kid, especially in the age of social media. Everyone's going to say your dad threw you under the bang, boss, so they're going to make jokes like that. He's doomed.

That sucked. That was a cold move. The kid would probably say, Dad, if you're going to blame this on me, can at least have the login information to these websites? Yeah, at least make it worth my while. Give me that boner pill. That's pretty cold. Do you have home security cameras watching the inside of your house? Always.

Congratulations. You may be a new star of South Korean porn. Police there have arrested four people accused of hacking more than 120 thousand dollar excuse me not dollar 120,000 internet connected cameras and using that captured footage to create and sell sexually exploitive videos online. Authorities say the suspects didn't operate as a team. Instead, each one simply took advantage of weak passwords on internet protocol cameras the kind people and businesses used to keep an eye on is somebody mixing a drink? I'm sorry. Was that you poor breast milk into a bag? I forgot to hit the mic button.

pouring breast milk You know how it goes There's no other time that you can pour breast milk into a bag It'll spill everywhere We're live on the radio There's no other time It'll spill everywhere And actually

I'm technically supposed to get the time To be off air to pump and pour Oh yeah Well go ahead We never stopped you from pumping It'd be like a whole 20, 30 minutes So I'd miss so much of the show I'm not judging you

thought you were mixing a martini over there. I wish. Make me one, Ashley. So that was the sound of breast milk. Yes. Yum yum, yum. First time on this frequency, Josh. I think we've heard breast milk.

Yeah, I've never heard it before. There's the first for everything. Yeah, thank you for that. I thought it was my throat making those weird noises again. Yeah, we do hear you breathing and snorting and your throat noises, yes. That does come across. I have to admit, I have no idea what we were talking about. We were talking about cameras.

Cameras. And some South Korean perves who hacked into a bunch of cameras and they stole people doing it. And in some cases, they used AI to make it look like people were doing it. Talk about hot amateur action, huh? Yeah, you just got to have permission, you know. Some people would be cool with it. The kind of cameras that homes and businesses use to keep an eye on kids, pets, poopies, peepees, or properties. The hack devices turned up everywhere from private homes, a Pilates studio, and even a kind of

The biocologist's clinic. Investigators, speculum, one suspect alone compromised about 63,000 cameras, produced more than 500 videos, which he sold for about $12,000 in virtual currency. Another hacked and whacked his way to around 70,000 cameras, selling nearly 650 videos for about $6,300. Their perversion was so prolific. Police say the two were responsible for most of the illegal videos posted on a website dedicated to that type of material. over the past year. And three other people suspected of buying or viewing footage have also been arrested. And what country are they from?

South Korea. Imagine you visit South Korea and some stranger walks up to you and says, hey, nice money shot last Thursday. Oh my God, can I get your autograph? Selfie? Selfie? You're one of the best. Authorities are now working with foreign agencies to shut the site down and chase its

operators as they begin notifying victims and help secure their devices. This is why it's good to not have cameras that don't have to connect to the Wi-Fi. Yeah, I mean, right, they're not going to be able to hack into that. I was warned about that when I was looking at baby monitors. Don't get one that connects to the Wi-Fi. But isn't it connected to Wi-Fi? No, mine is not. I thought you could check it from wherever you are.

No, I can't. That's the Owlet sock. That's different. Ah, I see. So anyway, what? Staying on the topic of unauthorized porn at Home Sweet Home, A safe once containing Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson's infamous sex tape has just sold at Julian's auctions for $2,500,

which also happens to be the approximate number of STDs you might pick up from the handle if you dare open it. Lee wrote on the safe, calling it unsafe, a nod to its troublesome history. An electrician stole it from the couple's Malibu home after their 1995 honeymoon, claiming Lee Odom 20 grand. But the movie's not in the safe, it's just a safe. where it was kept. Yeah, you just get the safe. How much of a star-obsessed

hard-on do you have to be to give more than one dime for that item? Yeah, I suppose it's a piece of pop culture history, but yeah, I'm with you on that. Now, I will say the money goes to charity, so maybe it's a charitable pervert. Well,

that changes everything. It does. Inside, we're expensive watches, diamond jewelry, Anderson's white wedding bikini, and video evidence of Lee's industrial-grade hog. The electrician, a former adult film performer, used his industry connections to circulate the recording online, inadvertently creating the internet's first viral celebrity sex tape. That was the first. What about his hog? It was industrial grade. We all learned when we

watched that video. Just one big monster. But what related to his hog is included in this? It's not included. I was saying those are the things that were in the safe when he's first stolen. I thought maybe they included a, you know, a piercing or something like that. After watching that Pamela Anderson, I don't know if you call it documentary, docu-series, whatever it was, the world owes her an apology for how she was treated after that. I mean, I knew it wasn't good, but I had no idea. Absolutely awful. The way you put that was just struck me.

I've heard that theory before that if you watch that documentary or whatever you call it, it. You are going to think very differently about Pamela Anderson, Lee, Rock. Who else did she marry? Boy, I don't get other people. Yeah, other people. Borett.

Did she marry? She married? No, no. I was just making reference to the movie. Oh, oh, he tried. Boy, he was in love. Yeah, he was really in love with her. Yeah, I mean, honestly, watch that. I mean, any perception you had of her before, you know, she's, it's somebody else's fault. It was terrible the way she was treated.

On Prime Video today, oh, what fun. Claire Kloster, or maybe she'd say Kloster, makes the Christmas magic happen every year for her family, but her children and grandchildren don't realize the effort it takes until she goes missing. Why does St. Nick get all the credit? Moms do all the work. Mom?

Mom's closed up shop. Peace out, y'all. How did you get here? just got in my car and said, You know what my husband got me last year? An upholstery cleaner. Yeah. Oh, my daughter made me pancakes.

Oh, well, that's sweet. I hate pancakes. And she knows that. Oh, what fun, stars Dennis Leary, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ava Longoria, Eva Longoria, Jason Schwartzman, and more. Birthdays today, Brendan Frazier turns 57, and Ozzy Osbourne would have been 77. And that's 93X News.

Coming up next, we'll chat with Randy Shaver, Brad Ryder, and at 8 o'clock, we'll talk to Marcus Felino. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder. On the half-ass morning show. Don't live there. For you another offensive performance of 30 or more points, you tie Kevin Love with a six-game streak of 30-point games. You also have a season high, 44 points tonight.

Just what's went into your offensive performance as of late? I should have had 50. Yeah. Appreciate you, Aunt. Thanks so much. Congrats on the win. Thank you. She was a much closer game than I think the boys were interested in.

but the Timboeau ended, well, they didn't end anything. They won their first of two in a row in New Orleans last night. Into overtime they went where the wolves ended up winning 149 to 142. That's a lot of points on the board. What do you make of that, Randy Schaeber and Brad Reader? I'm a little disappointed because Zion Williamson didn't even play for New Orleans last night. So, you know, to have to go to overtime against a New Orleans team that has three wins out of their first 22 games.

That's not where you expect to be. Now, they're going to spend tonight in New Orleans. They're probably going to have the day off. Who knows how they're going to play tomorrow. They're not going to feel well tomorrow. The defense can't be much worse than it was last night. No. Anthony Friggin' Edwards scored 34 of A-1 from day one.

Of his season high, 44 points. in the second half. That's a lot of points. Including a driving layup with two seconds left to force overtime, where the New Orleans defense went completely to sleep on that last possession and regulation by the two. The New Orleans played a great game. They've got some young kids that I've damn near never heard of.

Who could turn into something down the road? Randy Shaver mentioned Zion Williamson. They're missing some other players due to injury. What's left of that roster was damn good last night. Well, Derek Queen is having a really nice year. He's the rookie center. And Sadiq Bay has been playing lights out the last two weeks. And Trey Murphy has been fantastic for New Orleans.

You're right. And Jeremiah Fears, who played guard last night, is also, I believe he's a rookie as well. Pretty good players. They're young. But it makes it look better. when you're not guarding anybody. Yeah, we know that, Bradrider. We're just trying to compliment what the New Orleans publicans have going down there.

Yeah, the wolves suck at defense. They suck. You know, behind the scenes, and he's probably, he's being very guarded with his comments. I can tell you for a fact behind the scenes that our coaching staff is saying, what are we going to do? We've got to figure this out because when we start. Well, I'm sure they are. It's not pretty on the defensive side of things.

No. Nobody gets back on defense, transition defense. was completely invisible last night. It didn't exist. And the frustrating part is it's basically the same roster as the last two years. And they played some great defense over the last two years to get into postseason. Yeah, that's gone away. A very good team.

And it's just why is it changed? I don't know. Same guy. Nikiel Alexander Walker. I think it's because it's early December too. And I think that's why, you know, behind the scenes, maybe the coaching staff was a little, you know, disappointed in this. Maybe, again, they're not saying that in public,

but they're thinking, okay, at some point, the light switch has got to go on on that side of the ball because these guys know they're good, okay, and they are good. I mean, they are a very gifted offensive team. We know that. And I think some of these guys are waiting for February, March, you know, maybe to do that. Let's just hope that they are able to do that.

It's frustrating because they don't seem fully engaged until there's about five minutes left in the third quarter. And then you see the team kind of go, okay, we've got to win this ball game. It turned out to be an exciting game. And then you look at OKC, who's fully engaged all the time, and they're 21 and one, and they're just running away with things.

So, I mean, at some point, I mean, the wolves are sitting in the sixth spot right now, which doesn't mean a lot here in December. But the point is, if you don't get going here at some point, you could find yourself in that 7 to 10 range, and that's not where you want to be. It's just not. The team's better than that.

Josh, I've always thought of you as the type who's in the 7 to 10 range. Out of 100? Well, before the weight gain. You were in that 7. I hear what you boys are saying. It turned out to be an exciting game. Every game is close with this club.

I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. The same two clubs, play in the same damn place tomorrow night. Like you said, a date of themselves wandering around Bourbon Street. Yep, not a good formula. We'll find out. We'll find out. Randy Shaver doesn't like this at all.

Brad Ryder hates it too. There are still rumors going round and round. Round and round they go. That the Timberwolves are looking to trade for my homeboy John Morant. Now, Jha is still out with a trick calf. Word is the Atlanta Hawks, Sack Mental Kings, and Timbo. Well, we'll be watching Jha closely once he's back on the court, watching him closely. Looking to maybe make a trade.

The trick calf is that kind of like general soreness? Yeah, it might be. Yes. They don't want him to get actually hurt by playing him because then they can't trade them. Yeah. The wolves are seen as especially aggressive in their pursuers. of John Morant. What are they?

What's the... What are they saying we're going to give up? Julius Randall. No. God, why would you do that? And... And... What do you mean?

And. And Rob Dillingham. Oh, you're just making it up. I'm not making anything up, Bradrider. What are you talking about? Why would you accuse me of that? That is not a good trade. And?

What I mean and? There's another and. I'm not making this stuff up. I'm reading it right off the internet. Josh, where did I get this? The internet. That's right. Athlon sports.

You can't trust them. Oh, that's in the byline. You can't trust us. Okay, Randy, there is not an and, but there's an and or. Okay. So what they would theoretically give up in return for my guy, John Morant, would be Julius Randall and or Rob Dillingham, Dante DiBenzhenzo. What in the world? No, no.

God. They're just making it out of. They're not making any. You're not saying you're making it up. They're making it. They're making it off. I feel better about that. The bar saying that.

That's not. The wolves, no way, do not do that. Just some guy at the bar? Some guy at the bar is making that. He's got his laptop up. He's just typing up stories. You know, I mean, all we heard after they made the Big Cat Randall Trade was, and it was true, all we heard was it's going to take them a while to a custom,

get used to playing with each other. And it did, you know, for about half of a season last year. Yeah. So if you're going to do that now, I mean, doesn't that apply to the? this type of a trade too. I mean, no, don't do that. I hear you. I hear you, fellas.

By God, I do. I mean, if you want to do something like that, do it in the off-season. Do it when the season's over. Give your team a chance to acclimate to new players or whatever. Give the fan base a chance to let it soak in before you even start playing.

I mean, to do something like that right now, when really the only is, issue you're having is how your team is performing on the defensive end. And if you think John Morant's going to help that, you're crazy. And Julius Randall is, last night he was a little iffy. He seemed disengaged most of last night. He ended up being quite important in overtime. But Julius is having a great year.

Even John Morant's going to walk in the locker room and say, okay, boys, now we're playing defense. Yeah, no way. He's not. He's not exactly Bruce Bowen. He's a cone. For you. He's a cone.

The cone was removed by the way. Yeah, they got rid of them. The Clippers released him. Oh, really? Yeah. Sign the cone. Let him play for the wolf. I wouldn't be surprised if they signed the cone.

Yeah. He announced he was going to retire at the end of this season. He announced that a couple weeks ago. I did not know that the Clippers told the cone that he can go home. Well, the Clippers are just, I mean. I mean, talk about a team imploding. I mean, they're the second worst team in the West. It's so bad.

And they come to Target Center on Saturday night. People are claiming, Josh, when I brought up the John Morant trade, people are accusing me of rage baiting Randy and Brad. Well, you knew it would make them mad. Yeah, I did. I did. I suppose that would be rage bait. Golden Gopher basketball opens Big Ten play tonight at home against Indiana.

Roll the boat. and go over Big Ten Network. The number 22 Indiana Hoosiers come to the barn tonight. And they lost one of their starters to injury. Yeah. That's not good. This is going to be a really rough Big Ten season. This is going to be bad.

Golden Gopher's starting point guard, Chancy Willis Jr. is ruled out the rest of the season. He's got something wrong with his. I'm not sure what it is, but he can't play basketball. Foot ankle something. Foot ankle something. Foot, I believe, yeah. The Big Ten schedule begins tonight.

All right. Hey, totally unproven and injury-prone Vikings quarterback J.J. McCarthy's now free of concussion symptoms, and he's all set to start versus the Washington Commodores this weekend. Great. Why not? Goody. Goody. Gritty.

Goody. Goody. Goody. Oh, goody. Oh, I thought you were maybe predicting a touchdown dance or something. Good. No. Huh?

Says here, the Commodores are the perfect team against which to do so. I wish I would have edited that. Says here, the Commodores are the perfect team for JJ to come back and play against because they're easy like Sunday morning. Okay. Jesus God. Washington's defense is 28th in points allowed, 31st in yards allowed. They've given up the second most pack.

passing yards, the fifth most passing touchdowns. So there you go, kid. Here's a cookie. And we have the least amount of passing yards and the least amount of pass offense. So something's got to give. Right. They say this is perfect for the totally unproven and injury-prone Vikings quarterback. Perfect club to face in his return.

Well, that crowd's going to be pumped. Heck yeah. At the new Metro Dome. My wife has tickets, and let's just say, She's less than enthused. Yeah, she's going to take a loss on those if she wants to sell it. Oh, big time. She actually said that last night.

She goes, I'm thinking about maybe just selling just to get anything back. Commanders have lost seven in a row. The Vikings have lost four in a row. This is going to be great. National game of the week. This is going to be good. I predict this is going to be a lot of fun to watch. I would be surprised if they flex it to Sunday night football.

The Pittsburgh Stillers upped and claimed Adam Feelein after the Vikings let him go. He and Karen are going to try and pull something out they ask before the door is closed on both of their careers. I mean, if your plan was to play for a team that's going to be in the postseason, why would you choose the Steelers? I mean... Well, they are tied for first place in the ASD North. Oh, come on. You know what I mean. I know, yeah, they are, but I mean, come on.

They're not poised to make a deep run. They got a zero chance of making a deep run. That's funny, Randy Schaeber, because I read an article that said, if Adam Thieland wanted to make the playoffs in his final season, he probably should have chosen a different team to play for. Yeah, no kidding. It also said Thielen probably won't make a big difference. Yeah, well, it was kind of a rude headline.

Doesn't move the needle. Yeah, for sure. It doesn't. It just doesn't. that friggin needle. This was an Aaron Rogers move. We know that. Are they bros?

Yeah. Oh, they are? I did not know that. They have, yeah, I think they have a pretty good relationship based on what I've read in the past, yeah. Now, in about 11 minutes or so, we're going to get Marcus Felino on the telephone, or at least we're planning on. We're going to find out about his lower body injury?

Oh, I'm sure he'll tell us all about it. Okay, good. So I wanted to squeeze in a couple more things before we get Marcus. rolling. And this I found really interesting. We touched on it a little bit earlier. We didn't get into the details. I wanted to save it for you boys.

I was reading something or another about current or former NFL wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. Which is he? I think he's a former. Let's go with it. Let's go with it. Former NFL wide receiver Odell Beckham part two. Now this is difficult to believe.

But Beckham, more or less, he went on some podcast. or something stupid. He more or less says that we regular folks don't understand. He says it's difficult to make $100 million last a lifetime. I always explain this to people like, bro,

you give somebody a five-year $100 million contract, right? What is it really? It's five years for 60. You're getting tax. Dude a mile. That's 12 a year you know, that you have to spend, use, save, save, invest, flunt, whatever, however, just being real.

buy a car, I'm going to get my mom at my house. I'm going to do everything costs money. So if you're spending $4 million a year, that's really $40 million over five years, eight a year, you know? And now you start breaking down the numbers. It's like, that's a five-year span of where you're getting $8 million. Can you make that last forever? Yes.

Okay. Yes, forever and ever. You definitely can. That sounded like some Scott Steiner math right there that he was doing it. Yeah. Dude, we don't have that audio anywhere, do we of Scott Steiner's arithmetic skills that he showed off while cutting a promo a number of years ago. It's legendary.

At any rate, not trying to put anyone to work, I'm just wondering. So I know that O'Dell, he speaks very quickly and there are numbers involved and it might be confusing. I'm going to clarify, he's made over $100 million in the last 11 years. Yet he says it's a struggle. He says he didn't have the, quote, financial literacy to make the money last. But, dude, it's $100 million. Even Dr. Evil eventually learned that $100 million is a lot of money. He says he didn't have the financial literacy.

Okay, here's what he had to say. I've always explained this to people, he said. You give somebody a five-year $100 million contract. What is it really? He said it's five years per $60 million. You know, you get taxed. Do the math. That's $12 million a year that you have to spend, use, save, invest, flaunt, whatever.

I'm a buy a car. I'm a give my mama a house. Everything costs money. So if you're spending $4 million a year, that's really $40 million over five years. That's $8 million a year. So are you following this? Turkey Burger Jesus said he's a finance guy. Even if you're moderately conservative with investing, $10 million will last a lifetime if you don't spend it like an idiot.

You know how it is. You got to buy mansions. You got to buy a $300,000 car for you and all your friends. What else are you going to do? A yacht. His problem is he's looking at it as he's got to spend that money in five years. You don't have to spend any of it, like you said. I mean, he's trying to justify that it's, oh, it's over five years.

No, if you invest it right and they're smart about it, it's over the light. Investing is boring and it's not part of the lifestyle. That's the problem. O'Dell goes on to say, now you start breaking down the numbers, and it's like that's a five-year span of where you're getting $8 million a year. Okay, so now that we've broken, I know, $100 million stands out, right? You can't help but be fixated by that number. He's right about the first part of it.

Right. You know, tax taxes takes away, what, half? You know how it is with the rich guys, only the rich guys paying taxes? I feel for those rich guys. taxes they've got to pay. So much in taxes. But now that he's broken it down, so here we go. He says, in reality, in a five-year span, you're getting $8 million each year.

Can you make that last forever? Almost everyone can. Yes. For sure. And here's where he kind of talks down to us. He says, I always hear from the people who ain't us, from the people who ain't in our position, meaning he's a pro athlete, you're not. He always hears people say, oh, that would last a lifetime.

He says, yeah, this job, now he gets very dramatic here, this job that I've sacrificed my whole life for, don't be so dramatic. You didn't sacrifice. You didn't actually sacrifice your life to play football. As a matter of fact, I think it's safe to say, Josh, that his job has greatly benefited his life. I would think so, and I'd imagine there's probably people

people around him who sacrificed their lives to help him get to where he is. No kidding. He says, yeah, this job I sacrificed my whole life for, they are giving me that money, but I didn't ask for that certain dollar amount. Through your agent, I think you did. Even if the agent did and you didn't, somebody in your camp did. So it's someone else's fault that he became disgustingly rich and didn't manage his money. now it's somebody else's ball.

I didn't ask for that money, he says. Electrical contractor, Jesus, wants to know, Brad, don't they give players some financial training in professional sports? For sure. They do a lot better job of it today than they did probably 20, 25 years ago. Most leagues are trying to do a much better job of that. When you get drafted and become a professional athlete, you have to go through, you know, like a rookie symposium type of a deal in most leagues,

and that's one of the things that they stress. and they've talked to athletes about, so yes. This Odell Beckham, he closes out by saying, we weren't taught about no financial literacy. We weren't taught this skill. Dude. Now, hey, look, they weren't. I know everybody's got problems.

Money doesn't bring happiness and all that cliche stuff. But I don't think you have to be a professional financial advisor to make $150, $25, $10, even $5 million last a lifetime. But that's just my opinion. Well, I was looking it up earlier. trying to figure out what the average person in the U.S. makes. And like on the high end, it said the average, the median would be $75,000 a year. So like you, let's say you work 45 years.

That was $3.1 million over your career that somehow people survive and the average person's able to provide for a family and make reasonable choices with how they spend it. But he has trouble with a $100 million contract. When Marcus comes on, it would be interesting to ask him how much of his, I mean, not to embarrass him or anything or make him admit, you know, how much money he has, but ask him how much of his money he actually knows about, you know what I mean, like how much he has invested in if he has a finance guy, that type of thing. He seems pretty bright. Like a percentage of it.

We'll certainly ask Marcus about what he thinks or how he thinks he could manage $100 million. Or maybe the training that they gave him as lucky to get himself prepared for. I understand. Insomniac Jesus said OBJ wasn't taught no verbal literature. I understand we have the audio of former, I mean, all-time great television rassler. We have audio of Scott Steiner's infamous display of arithmetic. You know, they say all men are created equal. But you look at me and you look at Small Joe, and you can see that statement is not true.

See, normally if you go one-on-one with another wrestler, you've got a 50-50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak, and I'm not normal. So you got a 25% at best at beat me. You add Kurt Angle to the mix, your chance of winning drastically go down. See, the three-way at Sacrifice, you got a 33 and a third chance of winning. But I, I got a 66 and two-third chance of winning, because Kurt Engel knows he can't beat me, and he's not even going to try. So Small Joe, you take you a 30-30 and a third chance, minus my 25% chance,

and you've got an 8-and-a-third chance of winning at Sacrifice. But then you take my 75% chance chance at winning, if we used to go one-on-one, and they add 66 and two-thirds percent. I got 141 and two-thirds chance of winning. All right. I'm so lost. They'll never get old. That shows you right there that there are some athletes out there who aren't stupid.

You get all that math so fast. That shows you right there that that man frigging brilliant. Yes. Brilliant promo. probably Josh one of the most intimidating experiences we've ever had on the radio was when we had Scott Steiner live in studio oh yeah it almost didn't seem like it was a bit he was not happy to be there no and he was not happy to be wrestling that night in st. Paul a city that totally sucks that's the first thing he said when we welcomed him to the

show and I agreed with him I think he said you know first things first St. St. Paul sucks Yes. Out of straight terror, I agreed with him. He came in and sat down and looked at Covey and I as if he was going to eat us. Oh, my God. I thought I was going to end up in the Steiner recliner. And he's just so muscular. That look on his face says, I will punch you if you say anything to piss me up.

And, by the way, anything will piss me off. A number of years ago, Max Witt. Jacob Friedman recited that promo live on television without stammering once. Oh, really? To the word, to the exact word. That's great. He repeated that promo in a ring in front of a live crowd and a live television audience without fault. That's impressive.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and that's when I... I can't imagine how much you'd have to practice that. But that MJF dude, he's just... He was absolutely 100% born for the business. It seems to come so natural for him, Josh. I think we'd be surprised at how little he had to practice. Is that right? Yeah.

All right. Our Minnesota Wild Report is brought to you by, get there, because I have it written down here, brought to you by the lunar eclipse. No, Luther. Luther Vandros and his greatest hits record. C C C C C C Cia. Luther Cia of Bloomington.

There it is. It's the season of new tradition sales event at Luther Kia of Bloomington. Right now, drive to the holidays with incredible offers on select 2025 Teleride, Sorrento, and Sportage models, with financing as low as 0.9% APR for up to 60 months. Plus get $750 in retail bonus cash. Make this season one to remember with a new Kia from Luther Kia of Bloomington. Located at 35W in American Boulevard in Bloomington. Yes, live on the telephone.

Marcus Spillino, good morning, Marcus. Good morning, guys. How are we doing? We're doing great. You know what we were just talking about? I don't know if you were listening in. We were talking about whether or not we could manage and live forever on $100 million. Do you have any thoughts on that?

If you can live off $100 million? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. A professional football player. What were some takes? So people said, no? No, no, no. We all agreed that $100 million is probably going to last us a lifetime.

We would be quite happy. A former professional football player, Odell Beckham Jr., was on a podcast recently, and he was saying that, you know, it's more of a struggle than you think, living off of $100 million. Male Nurse Jesus said that dude is the richest victim I've ever heard of. If you got aspirators, you know, to buy a yacht and a plane and stuff, it might go a little quicker than you think, but, I mean, I think you'll manage off of that much.

Exactly. Maybe don't take your private plane to the grocery store 10 minutes away. Helicopter everywhere. Little brother trucker, Jesus says, I have a purple heart. This moron has no idea what sacrifice is. Yeah, he mentioned, yeah, he's sacrificed his life for. his job. It's not a good luck

when you say something like that, I guess. Oh, man. So we got to talking about it, and of course we were discussing your appearance on the show this morning. When you enter the league or here you are as a veteran, when you see rookies

come into the league, do they sit down with financial advisors? Is this something that the team provides you? You know what? The league is actually starting to do that. I mean, I think they a lot of guys now coming in

through their via their agents and stuff like that to have the financial advisors in place for them. I think when my first year it was not as popular. Like a lot of guys were kind of lost and had their parents still run their money and stuff like that.

Maybe they had their best interest. But I think now it seems like everyone has a financial guy or something like that now in the league. So yeah, it's changed a lot. You know, 15 years, it's, I would say, everyone now has someone that can help them financially. What about some other kind of training? Other trainings, like do they teach you about, you know, the dangers of social media,

how to behave on social media and stuff like that for some of these younger guys? Yeah, I mean, we get kind of like a video session before, you know, every training camp on, you know, everything that kind of can get you in trouble. And we have team security that kind of runs the presentation and just keeps us aware of, you know, to be cautious for and the Jews and don'ts and that's you know that's social media is a big thing now right whatever you put out there in the world can come back to hotcha and and yeah so it just we get a lot of we have a presentation kind of done you know more so now than ever with all the TikTok users that we're getting with all these young kids so it's been it's been good

the league put that on for us and it's definitely it's very helpful no D picks Rule number one And hey, that is brought up in the presentation and everyone gets a good chuckle about it but it happens, right? Yeah. That is good advice.

That'll get you thrown up. What does this say about this company or maybe not this company, but how we're viewed? We took a class on how to be empathetic. And I thought, oh no, we must come across as major jerks. We had a training on empathy.

Yep. Which Dana failed. You guys, this is the half-ass morning show, right? Yeah. I think you're going to be too sympathetic on it and just, yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, I mean, it's just the old school way. I think maybe everyone nowadays, it's getting a little softer. You've got to be a little bit more softer towards everyone now.

Yeah, I think that's... Nick did ask me, what is empathy? I did. I told them what it was, and then he took the train. Brad Ryder, when we started the $100 million conversation, There were other questions you wanted to ask Marcus, and now I forgot what they were. Was there something else? No, I think you covered them.

I think I just wanted to know. I mean, he answered. I mean, the obvious answer is yes. I mean, you've got a financial guy or gal that, you know, oversees your stuff. And, you know, how much of that are you aware of? I mean, obviously, you're aware of a lot of it. But, you know, how much of it are you aware of on a day-to-day basis? Yeah.

Former Viking. Former Viking Chris Carter said, you've got to have a fall guy. if you're a professional athlete. Do you have a fall guy, Marcus, that can take the blame if you make a poor choice some evening? You mean when it comes to financial stuff? Or anything, like maybe a teammate that you say, oh, no, that wasn't me.

That was that guy over there. Always probably a young guy. Definitely, for sure. Someone that has no responsibilities and all that stuff. So probably like a young V-Bume right now will probably be the fall guy. You know, no wife, no kids. He's got, yeah, right?

Yeah, favor, Biam, one of the young guys. It's their fault. You know, they drag me out a little bit longer than they. The fall guy. But, you know, it's no secret. You guys make a few bucks. You're not making $100 million in 11 years like Odell Beckham, Jr. But you guys make a few bucks.

In your time as a professional, have you played with a couple of young guys where you saw them maybe spending a little recklessly on something silly? And you had to say, hey, bro, you might. want to calm that down a little bit? Oh, yeah. I mean, I, there's been, you know, guys of their watches and buying a Rolex or something like that, right? When you're not making, when you're not making that much of money, especially, you know, when I first came in the league. But when you get, like, I think the biggest thing that's the biggest eye opener I ever had

was you get a signing bonus. And when you get that signing bonus, it's not what the number was originally. It's just a half and then some So Yeah, stuff like that Right It sneaks up on you pretty quick And matures you pretty quick

Because you realize that You know, taxes and everything What you're actually getting paid You know isn't the actual A dollar amount that you see in your bank count What it's all said and done So But some guys I've seen it

You know, they have the designer bags And the watches and stuff like that And you're like man money grows on trees. So it's always, you want to be frugal, but at the same time, it's definitely we're in a league that it's, you know, you get a paycheck and it's easy to spend it. Marcus, what you said is so right,

and I'm wondering if everybody here had the same experience. I remember my first job. I was working on a movie theater, and I got my first check, and I didn't know about any of those deductions, and I was shocked the first number. I was like, oh, sweet, I can hit the grocery store, something like that. And that bottom number is far less impressive.

That's true. Yep. You've got a warm deal about that. You're going to think I'm kidding, but when I was in the NBA and working with those guys, a lot of times their financial people would tell them if they signed a big contract. And Marcus would probably agree with me because he lived in Florida for a while. When you sign a big contract buy a house in Florida and claim that as your residence, because Florida has no state tax.

Oh, yeah, I've heard of you do that. Definitely. Yeah, that's something that we've always thought about. Yeah. How do you play that system, right? Yeah, that's definitely an advantage that the guys that are playing in Florida get. It's very noticeable, and you don't see that to come off your paycheck. So, yeah, that's always something. I know we talk about that with the league, right?

Like guys with free agencies, they sign in Florida for less, but they actually end up making, you know, more or the same. How did they do somewhere else with a bigger ticket? So it's always interesting. It's always a topic of debate with discussion when it kind of comes to free agency in our league. What the hell were you doing living in Florida? My dad actually was an inaugural season with the Florida Panthers, so he got traded there. We actually had, I never forget that Christmas in Florida was not what I expected,

so I was probably something that stuck out in my childhood. But I must say the weather is very nice. Yeah. Oh, your old man closed it out with the Panthers, huh? Yeah, yeah. We got to move down there for a year. So he was playing on the same club with Dino Cicerelli, wasn't he? I think so.

Yeah, they had Lowry. Geez, they had a bunch of guys. I think two years later, they were in the Stanley Cup finals with Colorado. Yeah, John Van Bsbrook and that whole crowd. They almost had like a Vegas. You know, they were just like Vegas when it came to league. They were good around the hop. Absolutely.

Sorry to hear that you're on the shelf for a while, But while you have time away from the ice, can you play quarterback? Oh, man. I'm not going to, you know, it's definitely tough to watch. But no, hopefully maybe they can bring in that Mason West kids. I don't know Mason West. Who's he? Who's Mason West?

He's the two-time athlete, two-sport athlete right now. And he's dying. He's playing hockey and football. and he just won a state championship. So I think he might be a better call-up than I am. I was reading about that kid a couple days ago. He's phenomenal. So, yeah, we were hoping you could take a few snaps on Sunday, but.

He's just drafted to the wrong team, but that's okay. Right. Who got him? Who got Mason? Blackhawks. Chicago? The Blackhawks, yeah. What did you have, like a barbecuing accident at home?

What happened to you? Why are you injured? Oh, man. Don't knock on wood right now. going right now, it's crazy. I've never seen anything like that before. Yeah, what's the... Guys, I've just got to stay out of the kitchen.

Yeah, it's dangerous. The latest is, where did I put this, Josh? Oh, oh, God, I have... Yes, I have it here somewhere. Just give me one minute. A player from the... Now I lost it, Josh. Do you have it?

What's the latest? Was it the St. Louis Blues? Yeah, dude, he burned... Yeah, that Alex Torpichenko, yeah. That was the barbecue one. Alden Burns. The barbecue one, I think, was Lusteray and in Florida Panthers. Right.

I thought there was a new one. There is a new one. Supposedly there was something where I think he left the gas on, and then he went to go back, and it blew out the bottom. I think the propane tank blew. Oh, man. What's the latest one, Josh? I lost it somehow.

Yeah, that's who it was from the Blues, but it doesn't say, this article doesn't say what the details were. Okay. Yeah. They just said he burned his... That's the one? It said burn his legs as part of a home accident. Yeah, okay.

And the other one with the St. Louis guy, I don't know. I don't know how that, I don't know if it was hot water or what have you, but it said scalding, so I'm sure it's, yeah, we got to, they got to get some of these guys. I mean, this comment might haunt me, but they got to stay out of the kitchen. They get some girlfriends or something. They can hire somebody. Their mother that can come back and cook for them and stuff like that. Dominoes, they'll get a pizza there quick.

Yeah, they will. Yeah, delivery. Uber eats never burn nobody, so. Yeah, suddenly players are dropping like flies. We're not getting a good look right now. Are you supposed to be the tough guys? Definitely not. All right, so we just finished up the financial planning lesson.

Here's one on how to eat safely, gentlemen. Oh, man. Players are dropping like flies, and as we noted a couple weeks ago, it's culinary related, whether they're at dinner or cooking dinner or doing something related to a meal. So we wish you the best of luck come lunchtime today, Marcus Polino. Thanks, guys. Yeah. I don't want anything to.

Yeah, I'm not cooking for a long time. Here's a deal for you. The NHL has gone ahead and sent out an email reminding teams that helmets are mandatory during warm-ups if you are a player. you are a player who entered the NHL beginning with the 2019-2020 season or later. So guys from the last four or five years, if they just entered the league in the last four or five years, they must wear a helmet during warm-ups. They're always worried about your safety, Marcus Felino. You like to go out there without the lid and let that flow be seen by the crowd, right?

Yeah, yeah. We always talk about that's how you sell the game. Yeah, that's how you sell the game, Josh. some guys should definitely keep it on. It's just one of those things, but I saw that. I saw that memo that was sent out. I don't know if it's because some teams were, you know, there was younger kids that weren't grandfathered in.

I guess that's what they're calling it. You've got to be in that play before that season started where they reinforced that rule. So I guess that's what they're trying to do. I mean, there's been some incidents for sure where you have a couple close calls with your helmet off and more else because there's so many pucks out there. but yeah, I don't mean, I don't really understand, though, the rule at the end of day.

If you want to wear it, great. If not, then you should be allowed to let the hair flow. I was wondering how you felt about it. I was wondering if when you read, you know, rules like this or when you get the email, if you say, oh, come on, you know, let the fellas live a little because, I mean, yeah, it seems. And I understand it started, like you said, Marcus, it started because a couple of rosters, I don't know who they were, were parading everybody out there

during warm-ups without Lids, even the young guys. And it's been kind of like a j-walking rule in the NHL where they haven't been adamant about it, but now they're decided to turn the screws. Yeah, like, I mean, even like with a rookie lap and stuff, you hide the bucket from the guy. And I remember we got a memo from that.

Like, you know, the rookie lap is such a fun thing for these young kids. And now you're taking that away. And I don't know. sometimes it's more than the picking and, you know, you want to, you want to show off what, you know, personalities and stuff like that. Oh. Not that, no.

It's so big into, it's not that big into, just because it's a warm-up, but it's good to strike guys can do that stuff and show who they are. And, I don't know, some fans don't really know what guys look like when they have the helmet off and they look totally different about it. So it gives that kind of outreach, too. So, I would like the, you know, the no bucket rule, I think, is, uh, I don't know. A little bit of that taking him. We've got something going on with Marcus' phone.

Suddenly it sounds like it's a recording from 1866. I don't know. Yeah. What happened, Marcus? Are you all right? Did you go into the kitchen? They're in the barbecue on, didn't I? Hey, man, we'll let you go.

Marcus, we hope to see you back on the iceberry soon. Thank you. Of course. It's just a lower body injury. Nothing that's going to keep me out for too long. But hopefully, once these guys get back on the road trip, where they can keep it rolling, it was a good game last night. Yeah, yeah.

Tell your teammates, congratulations on the hot streak and Yesper Wollstett and the whole thing. You guys have been terrific lately. We'll talk to you in a couple weeks, Marcus. All right, thanks, guys. Thanks, brother. Yeah, Yesper Wollstead. You noticed that I've changed my pronunciation.

Yeah, you always. Yeah, you learned. I'm so proud of you. Nice job. He's played so well in November that yesterday the NHL had to give him the label of rookie of the month for November. They call him the... Fantastic. They call him the Great Wall of St. Paul.

I think they should hold off on exotic nicknames for a little while. Yeah, don't we just learn that with another rookie who decided to create a whole persona persona? You're talking about nine? Nine. Well, he created that himself. That's the good point. Brad brought up the pastronaut. What was his name again?

Josh Dobbs. What a joke. That was pretty funny, though. I get funny about that, Josh. I mean, it's a cute nickname. Don't get me wrong, but I get iffy about that when you give a guy a dramatic nickname too soon. Well, my guess is somebody came up with it, thought this is pretty good. They wanted to own it, right?

They wanted to be the first one to say it. I mean, remember when we were all supposed to be excited about El Nino scoring 50 goals a year? Nino Niederwriter? He scored like four goals in 35 games, and Pigs fans started calling him El Nino. Let's hold up. Let's get a guy 30 goals in his season before we give him a frigging dramatic nickname.

That's just my style, though. That's just how I was raised. But this Volstead kid has been terrific, and the pigs have been terrific. They had been. They win last night, won nothing. Yeah. They're playing in Calgary in a couple of nights.

Real quick before we go, where did I put this? there's a couple of things we should just mention before we Oh you go ahead Randy Shaver what do you want to mention You know obviously hot stove is heating up And Byron Buxton has waived his no trade clause Well that's official It's official which means that now the twins may be considering And probably seriously considering trading Buxton

But also if you read ESPN.com and their baseball writers Joe Ryan and Pablo Lopez are also at the top of trading lists now because here's the thing, the organization wants to limit its debt, which means they want to get rid of big contracts. Right. This is, I mean, for Twins fans, this is absolutely awful right now. This is going to be an awful month of hot stove in December into January if they start dealing away these players.

Do you think they will deal all of those players? I don't think they'll trade them all. No. Not all of them. No. I think they'll trade Buxton. For Buxton, getting dealt to a contender, I think he's, I would feel a lot better if he got to a contender. If he got some place that they have a chance to make the playoffs, it's not going to happen here.

He knows it's not going to happen here. and so to give him an opportunity before he decides to walk away, I think is great. And they should get a good take in return for him. Likely he didn't go to the twins and ask for the no trade clause, by the way. Likely what happened is the twins went to him and said, can we trade you? It's probably the way. And for him, I think it's a reasonable thing to consider when you know that you've got two years, maybe three and this team is not going to compete.

They're just not going to. Joe Ryan's different. Joe Ryan's different. I mean, if you deal him, I think the, I mean, the fans are going to go crazy either way. But I mean, that's a young guy that, you know, maybe eventually if you can get this thing figured out with a new organization and leadership, you know, he could be a part of that piece. But, yeah, it's a shame that we're, I think December is going to be an awful time here for twins fans. All right.

Well, we'll brace ourselves for the worst. And then if none of them get traded, it'll feel like a victory. Yes, for sure. Yeah. It's also National Signing Day in college football. And so it looks like, you know, the gophers and all these teams will be signing a bunch of kids today. Does anyone want to make the easy? Does anyone want to make the easy?

the easy eligibility joke at this point. No? Okay. We'll let it go. Yeah. Thanks, Randy. Thanks, Brett. You bet. All right, we'll talk to you guys. Tomorrow, we'll come back here in a few minutes on the Half-Ast Morning Show. The 93X Half-Azed Morning Show.

What's going on, podcast, Pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer, and I think you should too. An AC-tuned-tune-up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and piece of mind before we get choke slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well.

Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. Providing the comfort you deserves this 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke.

He's got over 30 years experience. getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Next role with Vernon Davis,

the transformative journeys of athletes, artists, and entrepreneurs. Ladies and gentlemen. Lights out. Sean Merrim. I want to be the biggest and the best one I do. And so whatever it takes, I'll get it done in business and everything else. All I do is know how to fight and earn what I want. My man.

Malik asks, what actor, comedian, what you want to collaborate with? Me, Jamie Fox, like Kevin Hart in a movie. We said it on Vernon Davis podcast then, so we'll circle back. Do that? Yep. You go to Cleop. Next roll with Vernon Davis. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

The Half-Ass Morning Show, 93X. Oh, man, it's Wednesday. It's 93X rock. It's still relatively early in the morning. And we thank you. you for listening to the 93x half-ass morning show. From deep down in the bottom of our hearts, we thank. It's 833. We had a few laughs earlier talking about former NFL wide receiver, Odell Beckham, Jr., sorry, almost didn't complete his specific title. Odell Beckham, Jr.,

former NFL wide receiver, who was on a podcast somewhere talking about how it's harder than you think to manage $100 million. I think a lot of us would like to take that challenge. Right. He's earned $100 million more, actually, in his 11-year NFL career. And he said it's a struggle, actually. You regular people don't understand.

Okay? And then he went on to break it down. You know, taxes take half, and then you're only actually making $50 million, and then per year, and then you put this aside, and then you only have $20 million. and then you buy your mother a house. You only have $8 million.

So he broke it all down. I got a text message, Josh, when we were having that conversation. And it said, a listener says, there are three types of people in the world, ones that can count and ones that can't. Well said. Josh.

Yes. I have an odd question for you. It's not a question that one man would ever ask another. in any situation. But in the radio business, as you very well know, there's a maneuver called a transition. I'm familiar. Where I just need a way to try and naturally bridge

into the next conversation topic. It's called a transition. It's deep industry stuff. Some of us wouldn't understand. So here we go. Josh, are you pretty good at dealing with the difficult truths in life? You see, you don't even have to answer

if you don't want to because I've successfully transitioned the conversation to our next topic. Oh, I'd like to hear that topic. Yeah. Do you have an answer? Are you good at dealing with the difficult truths in life? Well, you said I didn't have to answer. No, I know.

I know you don't have to. I know you don't have to. Just in case something came to mind, you're a brilliant guy. No, that's not true. See, I guess I'm a little confused by the question. As you should be. As you should be. Like I said, no human beings should ever really ask another such an odd question.

but it was our only way to transition, the godless and wildly misinformed Internet and the folks who live there and constantly communicate with total strangers have been discussing the difficult truths in life that people don't want to hear about. All I can do now is give you an example because I think all of these are lost,

and again, for good reason. Here's an example of the difficult truths in life that people don't want to hear about. Working hard every day doesn't mean you'll be success. successful. True? Yeah. That's true.

Doesn't mean... And unfortunate, there's a lot of people that deserve it. It just means you'll be exhausted, working hard every day. Doesn't mean you'll be successful. Yeah, I suppose, kind of a tough pill to swallow. It kind of reminds me of that quote. I hope I don't butcher this, but it's, like, don't work so hard trying to make life perfect that you forget to live life?

Live life love, I always said. Live, laugh, love. I'm sorry. What is it? I thought it was live, laugh, love. He's right. He's live, laugh, love. That's my motto. Say it again, Ashley, don't spend so much... Don't spend so much time trying to, like, work to make life perfect

that you miss out on living life. There you go. Don't work yourself to death. Don't live to work, work to live. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Working hard every day doesn't mean you'll be successful. Yeah, that sucks, but it's true.

Yeah. You're not as special as you have been led to believe. Yeah, your parents lie, do you? They do, they do a lot of lying. Yeah, so I get, Ashley, you're a new parent. Sometimes I get a little criticized by my wife. Well, all the time I get criticized. But specifically, I mean, like, if,

one of the kids does something that I don't think is brilliant. No, she's got mom goggles. Everything's great. And I remember as a kid like thinking, oh, I'm a decent artist. My mom always tells me I'm pretty good. And then I go to class

and I'm not getting good grades in art. And my friends are like, dude, you can't draw at all. I'm like, well, no, I'm a good artist. My mom's told me. So I try not to put that falseness into the kids. I'll just say, hey, you know what? You could probably gain some skills here.

Maybe here's a couple things you could work on. But instead, my wife would be like, oh my God, that should be in a gallery somewhere. That is perfect. Josh is like those finger pains you bring home suck. Yeah, well, now I can say that because they're all nothing. I think it's, Josh, you're just being honest and realistic. And you're preparing your children for reality.

I try and be polite about it. You know, like, yeah, that's good. Go the other way once. Once they get older, you can give them crap because they know you're joking around. Be rude about it at one point or another. Try that out. No, you're just being normal and not painting this rosy, amazing picture. I know some parents where, I mean, my damn, they have their children convinced that they gold cufflinks. You know what I mean? And I don't think that's good for the kid in the long run, because when the real world kicks him in the ass, it's going to hurt a lot.

more than a kid who is taught that failure and coming in fifth, sixth place is a reality. What's the, you know, the whole participation trophy movement? So do it, do your thing, Josh. Just because I hated that feeling like, I'm so confused. I'm like, well, how is it possible that I'm not good at this because my mom said I'm great at it? Yeah. You're not as special as you've been led to believe. I think that's very important to learn, very important to learn.

Some grown people haven't wrapped that theory around their head yet. The difficult truths that people don't want to hear. That's what we're jaw jacking here on the half-ass morning show. Oh, this is a difficult truth. Money can buy happiness? I think, okay, so I'm looking at the ones coming up here, too. Money can buy happy. That's a nice truth.

I hope that's true. because a lot of people, like, they'll make an excuse as to, like, them not making a lot of money. And they're like, well, money can't buy happiness. They try to make themselves feel better. Oh, I see. Yeah, it's a night angle. Actually, it can. I don't think I would be sad if I was on a yacht.

Yeah. Okay. I see what they mean. I understand the phrase. I understand why people say that. And there's some truth to it in a certain way, but it sure does help. Yeah. And it can take away a lot of other sadnesses that come along with not having enough money to pay your bills.

I think it would take away almost every negative in my life right now if I had ex, if I had unlimited to money. Yeah. Then I could just, you know, not even unlimited, just enough to not have any debt, not have to pay my bills for a while. You all make wonderful points. It helps. It certainly friggin helps. Yeah, quite a bit.

I mean, you know, here's another thing. Like if you're real depressed and, you know, unfortunately, some people, that's how they are, right? they need some help. Well, you can afford it if you're rich. Right. Versus an average person might need the help or want the help, and they can't get it because of how expensive it is. I like this difficult truth right here that people don't want to hear.

You are a terrible driver. I like the second part. It's not everyone else's fault. Not everyone else's fault. If you are constantly complaining about other drivers on the road, you're the problem. It's you. Yeah.

Pretty much in any situation, right? where it's everybody else all of a sudden you might go oh wait maybe it's me if every relationship I have is like this yeah there are a lot of hard-ons out there that's the last thing they'd rather be told they have cancer than be told that they are a terrible driver yeah that is that's a blow to some folks ego that they can't handle here's something this is good on the topic of money can buy happiness uh money buys peace of mind this person says and They'd rather do all their crying in a Corvette. Then broke down by the side of the road because you can't afford a mechanic.

Yeah, me too. I'll take the C8 in tears. My wife likes to bust my balls about my driving. It's rage baiting. We learned that term earlier this morning, or at least I learned that term earlier this morning in what it means. Because she knows. I mean, I'm not such a hard on that I think I'm anywhere near the greatest driver. Hell no, I am realistic about most things.

But every once in a while, she'll tell me how poorly I'm driving just to see the look on my face. A few days ago, we had to drive out of town and brought the dog with us, a tiny little five-pound dog, and my wife is holding the dog while we're driving down the road.

I'm driving wife in the passenger seat. And she even told the dog, she's like, you know, we wouldn't have missed that turn if your daddy wasn't such a terrible driver. Oh, man. I'm just gripping the wheel. Trash talking you to the dog. I'm not trying to ruin your relationship,

but I think she said that loud enough so you'd hear it. I think that wasn't on purpose. I think you're right. There wasn't a private conversation between you and your four-legged friend. Did you know dogs come in four legs, Ashley? What? Yeah. Four legs.

There are dogs who don't eat one of their legs off in the middle of the night. Were you aware of that? I had no idea. But there are some people out there, man, that's the last thing that they want to hear, that they're not a good driver. That's like taking the balls off of a hunting dog. I don't know why.

I don't know why that was my reference, but that's the way I went with it, yeah. Speaking of dogs, another hard truth people never on here is, your dog's not that cute. Oh, babies, too. Oh, babies for sure. I'll fully admit that my son, when he came out, the first words I said were, uh-oh.

Is that an alien? He looked like my grandmother. It takes them a while. On the last days of her life. When I gave birth, I, like, ask people, I'm like, all right, but, like, I need you to be completely honest. Is he actually cute, or am I losing my mind? Is it just, like, I'm a mom, and, you know, he's cute. He came out of me.

You are a little baby drunk. I am. Yeah. Yeah. Which is hilarious because it's totally not your personality. I know. You are at risk to be painting that rose-colored world for your child and turning him into a helpless adult. It's going to be hard.

not to do that. But you were saying what now? So you asked someone truthfully to tell you whether your baby was cute or not? I asked a couple people. And what did they say? They said he was. Oh. So they lied to you. That was pretty nice. No, I'm going to agree with that. Yeah, I do too. I would have remained silent if I disagreed. You got a cute kid there. Yeah. Yeah. We're discussing the difficult truths in life. It's not always easy to hear some of these things. We've got to take a break, but we'll come back to this. a few minutes. We'll be back here shortly in the Half-Fast Morning Show. The Half-Ass Morning Show.

Welcome back to the Half-Ass Morning Show. Oh, yeah. Morning Show. Stop it. We got to go. We do. In just a few minutes. We're having a spirited conversation about the difficult truths. Oh, by God, they're out there.

The difficult truths that some people don't want to hear. Hard to swallow sometimes when you hear these things. A couple that we've covered brought forth a text messenger too I wanted to share with you. One of the difficult truths that we discussed, you're not as special as you've been led to believe. I think every swing in D or V on Earth needs to hear that and believe it. So many people are, they're so convinced they're the friggin' prize possession of planet Earth. and it makes people crazy.

It starts trouble. Be like cubby. You've got to be humble. Okay. So one of the difficult truths, you're not as special as you've been led to believe. Blackbeard Jesus texted in to say,

my mother did a great job in letting me know that I wasn't special as she was riding away on the back of a Harley-Davidson and left me at my aunt's house for three years. Hey, only three years? So she came back. Yeah, she went for smokes and came back. It took three years or she came back.

He doesn't mention it, but that alludes to the idea that his mother at one point came back. We talked about the difficult truth that money actually can buy happiness. Ashley explained, you know, if you're one of the people who believes that money cannot buy happiness, you don't want to hear that because you don't have any money. Money can buy happiness. Retired before Randy, Jesus, texted in to quote, David Lee Roth. Nine times out of ten, well, I guess that's extreme. Half the time, I don't even understand a David Lee Roth quote

because the man's been insane his entire life. Sometimes you wonder if he understands a David Lee Roth quote. Right. But I love this one. As David Lee Roth said, money can't buy happiness, but it can buy me a great big boat, and I can sail up right next to it. That is good. All the other difficult truths here that social media has been discussing, I don't know how many of them are terribly entertaining. How about this one?

Most people are bored with their partners after 20 years. Well, it's only natural. Yeah, I hang out with the same person every day. That's why you're supposed to, you know, find new stuff to do together and all that junk. Oh, I thought you were going to go in a different direction. Start going to certain types of parties. Find yourself, yeah, find yourself. Somebody else's junk.

Something on the side. It's like a good buddy of mine, Pinky. Pinky said one night when he thought his life was about to end, he said, look, homeboy, don't kill me. I got a girlfriend, I got a wife on the side. No one is obligated to care about your problems is another difficult truth. Except for my mom. For some people. Your mother will always care about your problems.

Yeah, even when I don't want her to. She stresses herself out too much. Is it possible that it's all an act? She just wants you to think that she's there for you. Oh, would that be something? Oh, yeah, because she knows once she gets old, your brothers aren't going to take care of her. No, there's no one. She gets off the phone with me every day, and it's like,

God, if I wish you would just stop calling me. But I need somebody to take care of me. You know at least one she has said, oh, for Christ's sake, when she sees your name on the telephone. What do they call that, Josh? No, I doubt that. Call her ID. Oh, here we go, she says. And I would think at least for you, Josh, this is a positive truth, I think, for a guy like you.

They listed here as a difficult truth. and maybe it is for a lot of us, but I don't think so for Josh. The statement is, people don't think about you as much as you believe they do. As in like they're not thinking like, boy, that guy's an idiot all the time. Yeah, everybody's got their own thing going on. Yes, I think you need to let that sink in

because you constantly think about conversations and moments 20 years ago, 25, 35, one year ago, six days ago, it doesn't matter. You're always saying, oh, God, I came off like a total jagoff. I can only imagine what they think of me. Although I did, I got this once when we kind of had a similar conversation and I saved it. A text came in that said, you know, the next time you cringe over something embarrassing or an embarrassing moment you had years ago, just try and remember other people's embarrassing moments.

You can't, can you? That's because you're the only embarrassing human to exist. else is always thinking about how cringy you are. Oh, no. I like that turn at the end. That takes away all of the momentum of the conversation. I know, I know. Does it, would it help you rest a little easier at night if you could be convinced that people are not thinking about whatever so-called embarrassing moment you still have rolling around in your head?

Oh, I do think that. I mean, it'll stay with me longer than maybe it should, but I do tell myself that, like, you know, people got lives and, you know, hopefully it doesn't come across like, oh, everybody's talking about me. No, it's just like talking about something stupid. See, right there, right there. You're worried that your statement would lead people to believe that you're arrogant. Right there.

Yeah, it's true. I guess I was worried about that. I love you. I just meant more like, you know, any individual, you screw up at work, or you do something like, gosh, that didn't work outright. Right. Or I bet I came across a way I didn't intend to. People forget.

Yeah, because everybody's got their own thing. Because I'll think about that with myself. Like, you might notice something. And then you, I mean, there's sometimes, there's some big news stories of some major screw-ups that you forget because there's so many other things to get in the way. Yeah. Unless you, like, really affected their life in a way because of something you did.

It would have to be something wildly hilarious. I have hundreds of embarrassing stories about myself and my friends. You remember all the woods about your friends, though. But only because they were wildly funny and wildly unique. That's the thing is people like Josh, I think, even worry about just the tiniest little, put that out of your mind. Or at least you said you're practicing putting that out of your mind. Oh, yeah. I mean, logic doesn't always work, right?

Sometimes the emotions are a little too strong. But I think I have a logical side that tries. Yeah, and that's all we're asking for you. three for 100 million. Three out of 100 million. You've been able to. All right. Before we go, here's a text message that says,

hey guys, earlier I was listening to Only the Young by Journey from the Vision Quest soundtrack. Steve Perry's voice is absolutely amazing. Yeah, I totally agree. Out in the hallway, they play KQ, and they were playing not hot sheree. Sherry. Oh, Sherry.

Yeah, they're playing that. It's beautiful. Yeah. Absolutely beautiful. I just wanted to throw that in. I mean, a text message came in about Steve Perry's singing voice. I'm going to recognize it. I like those off-topic text messages sometimes.

I like them all the time. Yeah. Vision Quest, a 1985. Terrific soundtrack. We got to go. Best of luck to our pal, littlest hockey God, Jesus, having some dental surgery this morning. Hope that goes well. I'm sure it will.

All the ice cream you want today. Happy 35th to that damn 218er, Jesus. and happy belated birthday to P-Man from Angie McKenzie and Piper. The 93-X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer, and I think you should too.

An AC tune-up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get chokeslammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC-tune-up or $90 and you add your first. furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80 degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930.