93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Semen Master

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

We'll laugh about this later. Welcome to the wiener-pit. Everything you wanna know about Type 2 fun. The 93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Originally aired Thursday, July 9, 2026. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust Standard Heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time. Get $75 off your first service or tune-up. And while you're at it, mention 93x.

Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Nick and Josh I have microphone. There it is. I'll be damned. You see, we can even go polka if we have to. Covey has taken our post-independence day booze cruise theme song and made it into a polka hit,

something you might hear on a Frankie Yankovic greatest hits record. Welcome to the program skis. I've made it clear once or twice that I am a fan of polka music. I like it. There's something about polka. It's always happy. That's exactly right. I think there's something about the vibe that makes a player feel good.

I'm not really physically able to do so anymore, but years ago I could dance to polka with the best of them. I'd cut a sweat out there. Is that like a line dance type of thing? No, no, no. I can't picture a polka dance. Yeah, it's real easy. I know I've seen it. It's nice or something.

A little bit of this way, a little bit of that way, and you're good to. go. There's nothing too difficult about it. So I got a good vibe from that theme song, Josh. What's going on today? You got anything on your mind, son? Well, I hate to bring the mood down. I was sad to read that Bonnie Tyler passed away unexpectedly. Really? Most people know her from total eclipse of the heart. And she died last night. Her family said she's been battling some sort of illness. The family wasn't too clear on what it was. She was in a coma, a medically induced coma. But they called it an unexpected death and she dies at the age of 74. That's too bad.

I was going to guess she was a little older than 74. I haven't thought of Bonnie Tyler in years and years and years. Sure. I'm going to go ahead and say 83. Total eclipse of the heart became a huge hit. It's got to be 82 or 83. I'm going to stand by that. Probably because she got a Grammy nomination for it in 84.

So I'd imagine it probably came out the year before. Big dramatic. tune. I think it was, was it not co-written by that dude that helped Meatloaf out with all those dramatic songs? What was that guy's name who wrote all those songs with Meatloaf? Oh, Dana, you probably know that one. Steinberg. Jim Steinman. There is. Steinman. Is that correct? That's correct. Total Eclipse of the heart was co-written by? Mm-hmm. Okay. And if he was deciding who to give it to.

I'm sorry? He was deciding which of those two artists to give that song to? Oh, he did? Yeah. And he went with Bonnie's Tyler. Yeah. She had a really raspy, gravelly delivery in her singing voice. I want to say there was something traumatic that happened to her. And this is just, like I said, I haven't thought about Bonnie Tyler in years. So I could be incorrect about this. But I thought maybe something really traumatic happened.

And the gravelly delivery was kind of like a happy accident. and it created this unique singing voice. I want to say that was Bonnie Tyler's story. I had a buddy who was a singer in a band, a local band. He was a good singer, but he smoked cigarettes on purpose to give him a little more grab. I mean, that was the only reason. He said I had no real interest other than I wanted to sound cooler. Absolutely.

Plenty of guys and gals, I think, have taken that route. The Bonnie Tyler's song that grabbed me as a kid was called, It's a heartache. Familiar or unfamiliar? I was reading about some of her big songs. I saw that one. I couldn't tell you what it sounded like. Oh, it's a heartache.

Nothing but a heartache. This and that and other things makes you lose your mind. That's not a direct quote. Well, that's a damn shame. Total eclipse of the heart. I can't help, of course, thinking about the Dan band from old school. Oh, that's great. I might hear that song, I'm always throwing an F word into it because of the Dan band.

They're so good. How many friggin' years ago was that? 30 years ago they came out with old school and that Dan band gimmick with total. It still cracks me up when I watch that scene. We had that dude in studio, I think, sometime around. We had the Dan band. Right after the movie. Was it right after the movie?

Because, I mean, they exploded after that. Because that movie came out in 2003, right? Oh, I thought it was even further ago. Then I'll take your word for it. And yeah, it was shortly after that. we had him on. He was great. I remember being a lot of fun and as surprised as, you know,

he could be about how popular they got after that, but it was such a funny scene. It's a damned heartache. So there's a... That had to have been late 70s then before she did the eclipse of the heart. Go fast, turn left, Jesus

said, if you like polka, there's a local radio station out of a new Prague call. It's 95.5. Have you guys heard of that? I think we talked about this recently. Oh, we did? About a radio station? Yeah.

Well, it wasn't that long ago. We did talk about polka. I don't recall the conversation about the radio show. Me neither. Sorry if somebody's already said. I don't remember that at all. But, you know, it's weird for people who have worked in radio for a while. I know very little about what happens in radio. So I appreciate the info there.

Somebody had an event to ask you a question. You're like, I should probably know the answer to that. All right. Yeah, it's a heartache. 1978, Bonnie Tyler. And you know what? I was just watching the video. A little bit of the video for that single.

My God, she was gorgeous. Became a global smash hit in 1978. Yeah, that was the one that I remember when I was a kid. It grabbed me. Wolfpack Softball Jesus. He won tickets through 93X to see the Dan Band back in the day. That's cool. Oh, man.

More people are texting in. K-C-H-K at the radio station that plays polka. People are familiar with it. I'll give it a shot sometime if I have. Yeah, me too. I've got to make a note, maybe on my way home. I do like polka music, and I love your new polka spin on our post-independence Day booze cruise theme song. It just makes me feel good when I hear that kind of music,

or especially when I see it live. Speaking of something or another that might seem a little out of the ordinary, but it just gives you a good vibe. Makes you feel good. Are you folks falling down and touching yourselves to power washing slash cleaning videos? I am. I love them. Do you really?

No, I don't watch those. Never saw it. Oh, I find them so satisfying. If you don't know what they are, basically the gist of it as a landscaper gets to just the most unruly project you've ever seen, and then they do a time lapse, like a 30-second time lapse of them,

trimming, mowing, clearing, and then they show the before and after of just how spotless it is, spotless it is, after they get done. All right, and that makes you feel good inside? It does. It's just a little dopamine hit. I hear a lot about the dopamine these days. Power washing slash cleaning videos are very popular online. Very satisfying to certain people. Instant gratification, this and that, like Dana just got done saying.

I do like to power wash. You guys have power washer? I've never piloted one of those things. If you want one, go to American Pressure or Americanpressure.com, locally owned business out there in Robinsdale. They got everything, whatever you need. I picked up one of those, and there's not a speck of dirt that can put up with it. I've also taken down Hornet's Nest with that thing.

Oh. Fun. I've wanted to, Josh, but never been the pilot of a real power washer. I have a friend who almost lost a foot. in an unfortunate power washing incident. Yeah, those things are powerful. You have to be careful. You can't mess around with those.

Oh, my damn. This is nuts. A few folks are texting in saying there's a power washing video game. Oh, yeah, Power Wasch Simulator. Can you play that on your computer? Or is it? I have it on my switch. I think you can get on PlayStation Xbox as well.

That's hilarious. Yes, Covey. That's part of what I was just reading about. Oh, yeah. It says it right here. Okay. Power up for a while, huh? Power wash. The game is called Power Wash Simulator.

It was released four years ago, three, four years ago. It sold millions of copies. So, yeah, people say watching a dirty, chaotic environment systematically restored to a clean, controlled state triggers a sense of control. I am under control of this, that makes you feel, I guess, a sense of power. I still haven't played the farm simulator video games.

People talk about how fun those are. It's fun, but it's more complicated than you'd think. Is that right? Yeah. There's a lot more into it than you almost kind of want. It's kind of like real farming? Yes. Some people think, oh, I could do that and then realize it's an incredibly difficult job.

I have a goat simulator game. I've heard about that actually. I've never found out what it is exactly. I thought the sex scenes were a little much. Yeah, it's pretty cool. You're literally just a goat and you run around town and you headbutt things. You can get a jet pack. It's pretty fun.

I jump on trampolines and stuff like that. I'm totally lost with this. You are a video game character and that character is a goat. Yep. And it just runs around town doing goat things. Yeah, causes mayhem. Eventually the goat can wear a jet pack and fly through town. Uh-huh.

And then you can get on top of this building. There's like a cool dubstep concert going on up there. I mean, real goats are fun. I can imagine even a, what's the word they use in the business? A simulated goat? Yeah. I can imagine a simulated goat could be a few laughs as well. Do you guys know anyone who's rented goats to clear their property of buckthorn or something like that?

No. But that is super cool that you can do that. Years ago, my dad and my good pal, Big Al, one night we were all sitting around drinking and my dad and Big Al had a three-hour conversation, drunken conversation about how they were going to start a business exactly like you just described. What's out there?

Where they would gather up a pile of goats and they would provide that service for folks in the neighborhood, some kind of a goat yard service. This was a long drawn out. a very detailed conversation. But of course, since it was drunken, it went nowhere. But I am familiar with the idea. Every few years, there's a place by me where they rent them.

Kind of clear things out. I once rented a goat for a ridiculous, awful, stupid, lame mid-90s radio bit that, like my dad and Big Al's idea all those years ago, went nowhere. But I went to a farm and I rented a goat. and I had to bring the goat back here. I think I had to go all the way to Malacca or something like that. And I drove the goat in the radio station van all the way back here to the cities. I don't recall exactly what we did with the goat for the radio show or if it ever actually happened. But as you might imagine, the goats began to eat my t-shirt as I'm driving.

I'm 169 back to the cities. The goat was... Boy, they crap a lot. It did. It do stalled over the radio station van. I mean, I like the little peckerhead. I like goats. We bonded a little bit.

They're sweet. He was, but he ate the sleeve off one of my t-shirts. It became a real pain in the ass. I thought I was going to crash because I was trying to keep this goat from killing the both of us as we're going 80 miles an hour on 169. So I have some experience with goat rental. People are saying there's a lawn mowing simulator game that's real fun. Yep. You played that one too?

I haven't played that one, but I've seen it. It's similar to the power washing game. Yeah, that's cool. It's so funny that the technologies come so far in video games. They're about to release a Grand Theft Auto game that took them like 12 years to make, and I'm satisfied with just Power Wash Simulator. Some of the simpler games are more fun. I completely agree.

That's why I mostly play with the old school stuff. Well, now, explain this to me because I'm such a video game, novice. I have to go out and rent a system for this, or this is something I can dial up on my computer. at home. I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure you need a system. Oh, I need myself an Xbox or a, okay.

All right, well, and here's one final note on power washing and cleaning videos being very popular. It says you that there are lawn services out there who make these videos. And maybe we've already established that. But also, they'll go to. I know a couple of guys who run their own lawn service, and it sounds very, very stressful. I mean, they've got a certain amount of clients and accounts, and they've got to get it done.

Go, go, go, go, go. They've got 30 to do in a day, you know, that kind of a thing. So I don't know where they'd find the time for this. But it says here there are lawn services out there who will stop by a residence that's totally overgrown, lawn, trees, you know, are need to be trimmed and weeds need to be, they will stop by one of these overgrown properties.

And usually there's some elderly sum bitch in there who is physically unable to handle the job, and that's why the place is so far gone. And this lawn service will knock it out for them for free, and it creates this emotional, wonderful moment. I've watched that guy. Oh, there's a guy in particular? Yeah, like a YouTuber. He does that.

Oh, okay. I like that guy. Yeah. He's good. He seems like a really good dude. He's good at his job, for sure. My lawn doesn't look like that when I'm done. Well, they're pros.

They're pros. They're pros. They knock on the door. They talk to the elderly owner. They offer to just get her done and clean that yard up right down to the final details. And then they film the reaction of the owner and this and that. I'm impressed by that, not only the charitable aspect of it. But like I said, the guys that I know that run their own lawn.

service. I bet you if I asked them to do that, hey, would you stop by that old-timer's house in the neighborhood and wipe out all the heat? They would say, hell no, I ain't got time for that. I got 36 yards to get to today. Yeah, I think that's in short. Yeah. I think the difference is this guy's gotten so

popular in YouTube and social media that he might be making more money doing that than he was at, you know, doing the 9 to 5, 30 jobs a day type of guy grind. If that makes sense. I think it does. Josh. You run a power washer now and again on your property.

Can I borrow that pig? Yeah. You want me to bring it in tomorrow? Oh, I mean, that'd be great. I'm a quick service, you know, whatever you need. What do you mean? I just full service. You want something?

I'll hook you up. Because I've never piloted one and I'd like to. I wonder what it would make my, I wonder what type of grand improvement it would make to my property. He's got to keep it away from your feet. Yeah, this one's not going to take your feet. Oh, it's not? No. It'll take the dirt.

off, but not the feed off. So renting a goat or having a goat renting business, obviously. It's unusual, certainly. Beneficial for folks. I've told you guys mine before, but have you ever been approached by someone with a business opportunity that was a little out there? No, I can't wait to hear the story, though. And I was drunk.

I mentioned it to you before. I had a guy who asked me if he wanted to go half and half on a bowl so we could harvest the semen. Ah, this sounds familiar now. Sure. And breed, you know, bull. Yes, I remember the story. Who was this guy?

I don't want to say, but it's a guy I know. So it wasn't a stranger. No, not a stranger. Some friend of yours, an acquaintance of some sort. Yeah, more of an acquaintance. Somebody I see every once in a while. Okay. And.

I thought he was kidding. Where did this go? Well, as far as the conversation, when the conversation wrapped up, so did any thought of going in. Because I had asked him, well, who? who's going to, you know, take care of that bull? Who's going to, you know, reach his hand back there and make things happen? And we couldn't agree on that, so that pretty much settled it. So he had no experience really at all in the field either.

He just thought the two of you, complete rookies, totally unfamiliar with the bull semen industry, would team up and make a few bucks. And by the way, this happened at a little children's festival. We both had our kids at a little kids festival. It's delightful. And he brought up bullsemen cut out of nowhere. I don't know about you, but I don't want to deal with any type of semen and have it be my way of making a living. Yeah, I'm with you on that one.

Although, you know, the guys that are making money selling it, that seems pretty cool. Maybe if you were a seasoned bull seamaner. Right. Like, I grew up on a farm. I knew all that kind of stuff. Yes, if you were a veteran bull semen master, then I might consider it. But just a random guy who had never thought about it until he read it in the paper or something? Very odd.

Very odd. No, I've never been approached with that type of a business opportunity. Never once. Maybe because it's painfully obvious that I'm the last swinging D that should ever be in control of a personal business. How do you call that? Like an independent business. I'm wildly impressed by that. Me too.

Who can run their own. Yeah. I would not know word one about it. No, like you said, you have friends that run their own businesses. I have friends that do it. And, you know, there's certain things about the job they hate. But then, you know, being the boss would be pretty cool. I'm...

Sometimes. I'm not wired for that. There are certain decisions I can make. But once things like finances came into play, how much money's coming in and out, that's the type of arithmetic that I was not made for. My wife is more or less her own boss, more or less. runs her own business. I couldn't hold her

gig for 10 minutes. Don't understand it in the least bit. That's why I'm sitting here. A lot of work. Doing this. So there you effing go. I wonder if you're going to be a pressure washer guy

after you use it. Well, I bet I will be because it has always been a tool of interest for me. I've just never, kind of like you with the Flamethrower. Well, no. I used it now. Flame thrower is not a good example. That's not where I wanted to go with that. Kind of like you and the riding lawnmower thing, where you've talked about it and thought about it and brought it up over and over and again, but you can't for some reason pull the trigger.

That's me and power washers. I wanted to be that guy, but just always punked out on making that purchase. Well, I could see why. I mean, it's one of those things where you use it once or twice and you don't need it for a long time. you're just a regular dude. And where do you put it? That would be problem number one for me. Where do I put it? Does it take up a lot of room? Not at all. Okay. Well, then that, okay. I wouldn't, know. I bet you I will become hooked on it. It's fun. Yep. Oh, look at this. Northwest Wisconsin, Jesus said you simply can be an investor, never see the animals and then collect from sales of the goods. Now, I think that's kind of what he was saying. well sure that's kind of what I was saying

if Josh was a 35 40 year bull seamaner and you approach me with that business opportunity that would be the role I would hope to play I'll just be the guy who bite handy a few bucks to keep the company going but don't ask me to be in control of any of the details I mean I'd invite you guys to the harvest party

I'd imagine you probably have a party right you probably don't want to wear any of your new clothes no not at all wear something white just in case the bull seaman harvest. Definitely going to be available that day. Now you're saying definitely going to be available that day, but what I'm hearing is I have no interest in showing up. Yeah, you're probably right. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine being, you know, not that I have any money to spare, but I would be fine being the the checkbook guy for a business like bull seaman. But he didn't know a lot about it,

I asked him, like, well, that's what's so extra strange about it. Yeah. How do we get one? How do we care for one? And how much is this going to cost? And there was no answer to those questions. There you go. There's a few people who have texted and say they know people in the semen industry.

And a couple people make some big bucks. I'm sure they do. I'm sure they do. Here's a strange transition. But Shotgun Messiah Jesus texted in to say, speaking of semen, I read that Jenna Jameson is coming out of retirement. and she's going to make some more porno movies. Was that a true story?

Are you just trying to be cute with the... I thought maybe she had gotten into the crack rocks or something. Yeah, wasn't there something about that? I thought it was all over. And maybe he's just making a... No, making a shock comeback. Huh? She's making a shock comeback, she says.

Wow. Shot comeback. I know exactly what you're doing. You just read the first headline, which was a British publication, right? They always say that. Everything's a shock. Did you notice that? I think I said an article the other day.

Yes. Everything's a shock. When you read stories from England. Or they're gobsmacked. It is often, it's often a situation where they include the word shock. Yep. Everyone is gobsmacked. Gob smacked is a big one.

Right. Well, that's very interesting. Thank you, shotgun, Messiah. Jesus. No, I was totally unaware of that. And how fitting is it that having a conversation about semen has led us to talk about. Jenna, James. I don't know if this is so the pictures accompanying the article here.

I don't know if they're current, but her plastic surgeon is a good one. If you're interested in some plastic surgery, get this guy's or girl's contact information. Does she look wonderful? I mean, you can certainly tell. Something's been going on, but not bad. Hey, Josh, you know, a listener tells us that those bull seamaners are making money hand over fist. I thought you'd like that one. Dog breeders now people are saying.

What about them? That they're making some cash. Oh, sure. Oh, about it. Yeah, we're always coming up with a new dog breed, right? Yeah, the combinations of various dogs. Our regular veterinarian friend, Dr. Andrea Johnston, she will not be making an appearance this week. I understand she's on vacation.

But in past conversations, and I don't want to quote her, I don't want to misrepresent her, but I thought that she had said she's, as a veterinarian, not always crazy about breeders? The breeding craze. They get a bad rap at times, yeah. That some mistakes are made in there. But y'all, I'm sure they are making piles and piles of money. Asian cop Jesus said, boy, 93X listeners know an awful lot about animal jizz,

loads even. They know loads about animal gis. That's an English thing there too, isn't it? Loads? Everything is loads. Yeah. Yeah. They're having loads of fun.

That's how they do it over there in England. It's funny. You hear enough or read enough of those stories. Once Dana said that I knew exactly where he got it. Very British. I'll be damned. Well, here we go with our Thursday broadcast. We're going to kick it in the ass here and see what the hell happens.

We'll get to hear, hopefully later on, we'll get to hear the Polka version of our Independence Day boat. party song again. I really liked it. Our new sponsor has put together a commercial. We'll have to play that at some point. Hogbauer Automotive has been sponsoring this show for a stretch of time now. Third Avenue in Main Street.

Go see the folks at Hogbauer. They've finally gathered up enough money to pay for an ad, to pay for a jingle here on the radio show. We'll get to hear that a little bit later for you folks who visit Hogbauer motor. So we got this and that to do. Stupid news will be coming up here in a few minutes on the half-ass morning show. Air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's

going on to Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at Standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees,

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Scrolling with Haley, join Haley Caronea as she scrolls through the biggest headlines. If you haven't watched this show before, we do blind reactions. I have not seen these videos, so I am seeing them for the first time with all of you. We're going to implement the tinfoil hat time segments and all the stuff you know and love. And I'm going to finish the show and answer some of your questions. Someone asked me what made you get into podcasting, and I was producing podcasts for other people. And I was like, I could do this for myself. And here I am.

Scrolling with Haley, follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. This portion of the half-assed morning show is brought to you by Hogbauer Automotive, conveniently located at 3rd Avenue and Main Street. We've got the fairest prices in town. What's the bill? How much you got? No, no, I'm asking how much the repairs are. I'm asking you how much you got.

As you heard, all services are haggle-free. Look, I don't have time to play around, okay? So how much is it? All of it, boy. Mention 93X for our special on premium blinker fluid. Hogbower Automotive. Visit hogbower automotive.com or I got ripped off at hogbower automotive.com. They've got two different websites.

Yeah. Check them both out. I'm glad they bought that second one out. 93X-Hass Morning Show brought to you by Hogbauer Automotive, 3rd Avenue, and Main Street. They've got two separate websites. Hogbauer Automotive.com or...

I got ripped off at Hogbower Automotive.com. Check those out. They've robbed enough customers now where they can afford an ad. Yep. They've been in business for a while. They've been robbing folks for a long time. And keep in mind, that's wonderful.

What a great ad they've put together. And keep in mind, the boys at Hogbauer, Tiny and Donnie in the Whole Works They are running a 2999 oil change special in July

They're calling it the Nick and Dana Friendship Special That's wonderful of them to do If you're not following that They're calling it the Nick and Dana Friendship Special Because I have informed Josh that if he doesn't

Finally nut up And buy himself a riding lawnmower by the end of summer, our friendship, legendary friendship, will be over. It will come to an end, and I will make Dana my new best friend. I'm going to say to you what my son said to me when I canceled Netflix. You know how to hurt me. You got me where it counts. Well, I hope it's the motivation that you need.

Your son said that to you when you did what? I canceled Netflix. Oh, my God. So dramatic. Terrific. I don't know how often we're going to rotate that Hogbauer ad, but we're happy for them that they're in the rotation now. Give them the business so they can rip you off and afford more ads. Right. Somehow earlier on this morning, also, we got to talking about, and it doesn't matter how, dog breeding.

We got to talking about dog breeding. Here's a text message that came in. You can always get a hold of us, as you know, on our Luther-Bloomington Kia text. line which is 651. 989.933.93. A question for you, Josh. It says, speaking of dogs and dog breeding. Doesn't your mother have a weiner pit? Is that...

No, I don't even know what you're talking about. Folks are catching on to the bit now, Josh. A few text messages have come in to say L-L-M-F-A-O. They've discovered that those websites that you mentioned, Yep. Hogbauer Automotive.com and I got ripped off by Hogbauer Automotive.com.

Right. They both go to 93x.com. Oh, you got to be kidding me. We'll have to correct that. That's a mistake. They're new to websites. All right. Today's report.

By damn. I have to admit something to you to start the stupid news. I don't have a damn clue what it means. to play a card game by the name of UGO. And if you do know the answer, there's no need to explain it to me right now. How the game is played has nothing to do with where I'm going with this. Maybe save that for later if you do know how to play UGO.

I will damn near guarantee, though, I think you're really going to like this story. Stupid news story number one. Right here, it says that a couple of course. card shop, game shop type of a joint out there in Oregon. They were in the middle of hosting a UGO tournament. But they had to shut the whole works smooth down because of the terrible smell coming off the UGO players.

That's the word. They got that UBio they're bringing in there. Is this, okay, I feel like this is a really dumb question, and I can't tell if you're doing it on purpose. Just go for it. Is it Yu-Gi-O? Are you talking about Yu-Gi-O? I don't know. Because, like, that's a card game, and I just want to be clear on that before we move forward here.

I would imagine, yes, I am talking about Yu-Gi-O. Okay, that was bothering me, and I just wanted to make sure. I thought maybe there was a card game I've never heard of. I couldn't tell you for sure, Ash, Ash, But if you're saying there's a card game called Yu-Gi-O, I would imagine that's what I'm talking about. And I just don't know the proper pronunciation. Well, there you go. Real quick, just to warn people, somebody bought condoms from the Hogbower Automotive Bathroom Condom Dispenser.

Oh, no. And now they're going to be a dad. God help us. You get what you pay for. Don't buy those. The Yu-Gi-O tournament. I apologize. Word is, the contestants, whatever you call.

them in the Yu-Gi-O tournament. The folks who were playing the game had such an overwhelming smell of unmitigated ass and general body odor pouring off of them that the game shop owners just had to shut her down and throw everyone out onto the sidewalk. That's funny. It's not uncommon at those big Comic-Con conventions. You'll see people holding up signs that said, you can afford tickets to be here today. You can afford deodorant.

because it gets that rank in there. But it's not a great reputation to have. No. I know. I thought that reputation of video gamers was done. I mean, I know there's a later in the story, it mentions another place that this happened, but is there, Dana and Ashley as video gamers,

is there like a game that maybe you would just assume the person that plays that off in reeks? Oh, I wasn't talking about video games at all. I was talking about the conventions where you go to to play Yu-Gi-O, play Pokemon. Oh, a card convention. Where like the costumes, you know, the cosplain, you're going to go meet the guy who is in Star Wars Rogue One, you know, those types of conventions. Yeah, there's a video game for sure, Josh. Do you might say it?

What is it? Don't want to insult people. I don't want to insult people. Who are the smelly gamers? I don't want to be mean. World of Warcraft? Yeah, World of Warcraft. I was thinking that just because of South Park.

Yeah, they do have like a bad, I guess a bad reputation in media. Like they portray them to be those kind of people. So it sounds to me like this game shop card shop in Oregon, a joint called Kronos Games and Gifts, if that matters at all to you. They go ahead and host a Yu-Gi-O tournament once a week or something like that. But a big number of their regular customers have complained about how unwashed and disgusting the Yu-Gi-O tournament crowd is.

So the card shop, game shop, has gone ahead and said to this Yu-Gi-O crowd. They said, look, we dig you. We dig you coming into our joint. We like the extra business. But we're going to put a lid on this until you folks wash up for the love of Christ. Someone at the game shop also said that the Yu-Gi-O crowd has been, quote, mistreating the restrooms. What do you suppose that means?

Are the U-Gi-O folks like pooping on the back of the toilet seat? What are you doing in there? Bad aim? You ever known someone who sits a little too far back on the toilet seat when they cut one? Oh, yeah. Somebody does that here all the time. It's a terrible thing. I don't get it.

I don't understand. You think you'd adjust. Well, no, no, no. On the seat. Oh, the actual seat. They sit a little too far back on the seat when they cut one, and so they leave a stripe on the back of the seat. Yeah, there's somebody here that does that over and over.

Maybe they don't look back, but you think they'd make an adjustment. You'd think you would look back after you were all done with your business to make sure you didn't leave hard evidence on the toilet seat. I'm not talking about someone who just blows diarrhea up against the wall. Those people, they're out there, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about... I don't know what the Yu-Gi-O crowd is doing, but the card shop says they also mistreat the restrooms.

So angry bus driver, Jesus said there are steering. stereotypes on Yu-Gi-O and Magic the Gathering players, or con nerds, quote-unquote, he says, in general, that they don't wash all that well. He said those stereotypes are overplayed, but not always wrong, he said. I guess not always wrong if you consider what we're talking about right now. So the folks at a company called Konami,

they must make card games and video games, I'm guessing. They have actually cut loose with official tournament rules. specifically mentioning filthy unwashed players. They cut loose with this set of rules a few years ago. They wrote in the rule book that all persons attending a tournament, not just players, but all persons must be, quote, clean and wear clean clothing or risk being penalized. I don't know what that means exactly penalized,

but I think we can guess that maybe you'd be eliminated from the tournament if you smell like poo. Wow. So Red Butcher Jesus says he's a big fan to Yogi-O. And the tournament smell like the worst B-O ever. He said he thinks they weaponize it against other friends. I was just going to say, is it a strategy? Not the real Jesus said when his son was younger,

they were in Washington at a game stop. His son was entered into a Pokemon tournament. And he lost because it smelled so bad. They had to wait outside until it was his turn. The other challengers were about 18 to 26 years old. He said it was so girls. I mean, that's disgusting. It is.

Why? What's the problem? What's the problem? They can't step away from these games long enough to take a shower? Now, some people are saying that they're like preteens and teenagers who maybe just are ignoring that. But I can tell you, I mean, like my son and his buddies, they are covered in Cologne. It's like collectibles to them. I guess it's better than B.O.

I don't know. Yeah. It depends. Sometimes. Yeah, I guess it can be overwhelming. This is really odd to me. that that many people would have the same problem. Yeah.

Any big crowd is going to have one or two stinky unwash people. But the fact that this specific crowd, this gamer crowd, that that many of them would have that problem or they can't wash themselves properly. I'll tell you what, we're getting a lot of text from people that say this is very common. I'll go along with it. Yeah, this was the first time I'd heard of it. So they've got issues.

They're asking these gamers, show up with a clean ass or stay out. Please. Well, shoot, that's happened here before, right? Where we've had a boss who had to talk to for sure one person, like, hey, you got to start putting deodorant on it. Oh, that's so embarrassing. And here's the thing, Josh. I'm glad you brought up. We've had one or two people in the, we've been here for 30 years.

So I guess it stands to reason you're going to run into one or two with, you know, that much. that deep of a track record, you're going to run into one or two people who are disgusting. That's kind of where I'm going with this. These one or two people, Josh, could stink out an entire room, just one of them, let alone having 35, 40 of them in a little game shop all at once. That must be unbelievable. Your eyes must water. I can't imagine.

Because, I mean, guys that we've had in the building before, tuna foot comes to mind. There was a guy we called tuna foot because his feet were so rotten. He, just he alone could ruin an entire room. I can't imagine 35 or 40 tuna feet altogether. And if you've ever been in the back room of those card shops, they're not very big and they're not ventilated. You know, there's no windows. It's just kind of a just a square back room with a bunch of tables and folding chairs. So it's going to get rank in there quick.

The only time I have is when I'm breaking in the middle of the night to steal Pokemon cards. AOL.com Jesus said, let's make it clear. It's the card people that stink, not the video game people, L.O.L. All right, fine. Card people, smell, video game people are delicious. Boy, like I said, this is not so many people texting in saying, yeah, there's been tournaments canceled because of this smell. That's sickening and disgusting. It's crazy.

I mean, come on. What are you? A four-year-old? You can't wash yourself? I don't understand. Oh, I just remember it. Actually, we've had the opposite here, too. We had a big boss, and she was allergic to everything,

including, like, the sun. I mean, she was just allergic to everything. Oh, not this character again. And she had told people they can't wear, like, scented, can't you scented soaps, no colognes, no perfumes? Oh, stop bothering everybody. Yeah, that's insane. I'm sensitive.

I'm sensitive. Like I said, the scented That was an attention-getting thing right there. She did a lot of kind of crazy stuff. I'm allergic to everything. I'm sensitive. Make changes for me. That's all that was.

I don't believe a word of that. But my damn. I mean, look at some of the situations we've all been in. I've sat in a fish house for three, four days. Up on Lake Malax with five, six other donkeys, drinking beer and all we eat is beef jerky and ring bologna and cats. We've all been to three, four-day-long rock concert festivals, right? You're camping.

No one showers. You're just drinking and carrying on and doing drugs, having sex, all four days in a row. But I've never ever had to say, oh, wow, what is that smell? But yet at these gaming tournaments, people are running for the exits. How is that possible? Well, just having one teen in the house when he first started having body odor, like the whole upstairs would smell like rotten onions. It was disgusting.

I don't know what was going on with his body, but for a little while there was terrible. That's just one. That's gross as hell. Yeah, it's so gross. So you're saying it's probably teenage kids who don't yet quite have a handle on how to care for themselves. That's what textures are saying.

I'll go along with that as well. People have a lot of experience with this. But this really grabs me. I'm amazed by that. This person says, problem is, if you stink, you're used to it. so other stanks don't bother. Nose blind. Right.

That's probably part of it. One of my favorite examples of this of getting to smell so bad. A buddy of mine is huge Star Wars fan. So the last one came out in 2019. Some of the theaters were doing, you can watch all eight leading up to the final movie. We'll show the final movie right at seven. So he gets there like eight in the morning or excuse me like four in the morning. A bunch of Star Wars fans are all excited.

They're watching as the day goes on and more and more popcorn and hot dogs are eating in that theater. and people just starting to sweat a little bit, he had to leave by like the fifth movie so it's just so pungent in there. Got pretty bad? Yeah. Oh, yeah, people that texting in saying, you know, back in the day,

it's different now, but back in the day in the 80s, the wrestling crowd, I'm not talking about high school wrestling, I'm talking about television wrestling. They got this reputation for being a stinky, unwashed crowd. I used to go to wrestling shows all the time back in the 80s. ever once did I go, oh my God, this place reeks.

You know, all these different types of activities that might have had a bad reputation for being smelly and unwashed. I guess now we know who the real unwashed crowd is. Insulator Jesus said, imagine way back in the day when baths were a luxury. The whole town must have reeked. I said that to my wife not too long ago. We were watching like, I can't remember something from, it was maybe like a Game of Thrones or something like that.

And I told her, I'm like, I bet those people reeked. because you kind of forget about that. Deodorant wasn't a thing. Oh, yeah. I've always thought that when... Plumbing, there was no real plumbing. You just poop on the floor. During, like, sex scenes.

I'm like, how do they get past the awful smell they supposedly have? Oh, and they were furry, so it just got trapped in there. Yeah. Well, I think they just didn't know any better. Probably didn't know anything. Well, right, yeah, exactly. You don't know it can be better than that. This year next story is comparable to, say, a dude who drains a case of old Milwaukee bottle.

and then gets pulled over doing 75 and a 30, and all the while he's wearing a mother's against drunk driving t-shirt. I like that. You see a guy in a dare shirt, something like that. You're right. I think this story is comparable to something like that. Here's a young kid in Missouri. He's got one of those mug shots that folks get a kick out of.

The kid got arrested while wearing a t-shirt. Advertising the bail bonds company that just recently helped him get out of jail. Isn't that why so many bail bondsmen, Josh, started making. and selling T-shirts years ago for the chance that someone would get arrested wearing their gear and they'd get a little free advertising on the internet? I'm sure that's part of it. I mean, we've been

able to, you know, we've had sponsors in the past and met a lot of the bail bondsmen and they're very funny people. I mean, they've got great senses of humor. I mean, look, they kind of have to, right? They're working in an industry where it's kind of a bummer at times. Right. So I'm sure they think of that stuff. Anyways, this 22-year-old

kid by the name of Ethan, he got in trouble for this and that, and his mugshot, you can see his t-shirt advertising a company called Jesus BB bail bonds. Jesus BB, an interesting name. The Jesus-Bee folks gave Ethan that t-shirt the last time they bailed them out of the local jailhouse. So that's the whole gimmick right there. He's wearing his bail-bonds t-shirt. He knows who to call.

I love a good jailhouse story. I'd have bail a guy out once. Actually, one of the stinky guys we were just talking about, former co-worker. Oh, former co-worker stinky guy. Have you guys ever had to bail anyone? Your brother, Nick, if you had to, you had plenty opportunities. I never had to bail him out. I had to pick them up a couple times, but I never, yeah.

I've never been to the cooler, but a few of my friends have, and they've accumulated some great stories. Some that I enjoy include the I thought I was, prepared for jail, but good Lord, I was wrong type of a story. I know a couple of guys who thought, no, no, I'm good. I know I'm not prepared for jail. Yeah, me too. I suck at that.

But I had a couple of buddies who had to do, you know, I don't know, whatever, you know, a couple of weekends or maybe 20 days or whatever, you know, and they thought they were ready for it. They were not. I did time. But my favorite ever, I'm sorry? I did time, as you know, and I don't even know how to describe it. Sometimes I forget about your time spent.

Yeah, I was locked in a cell. for maybe I'm going to say 15 seconds as part of the Citizens Academy in Prior Lake. It's so scary. I knew it was going to be something dorky. A bunch of us. What do you mean by dorky? I just could remember which dorky thing was going to be. You mean a bunch of us citizens who went and learned what it was like to be a police officer in Prior Lake

and we toured a prison and got locked up for 10, 15 seconds? Okay, fair enough. I've done time. Have you done time? I'm just curious. I was going to say, fair enough. Now that I think about it, I did the same thing. And it was in Boy Scouts and boy, it was a blast.

Did you really? Yeah. It was just the Dakota County, but still, they put us in the little clink for a while. I love when Cubby talks about his days with the Prior Lake Citizens Academy. Yeah, pretty much one of the guys now. I have the same rights as the police officers. I can make an arrest if I need to. So one of my favorites, though, and bear with me, I know I've told this story quite a few times, but I just love it.

and I'm always looking for someone new to tell it to. One of my old Wizzetta pals, I mean, this guy is a Ken doll. Blonde hair, good-looking some bitch, suit and tie type of a peckerhead. But one night he got busted driving drunk. He was in Minnetonka. And he wasn't proud of himself and he wasn't happy about the situation. But he said, ah, to himself as he's sitting in the back of the police car, he said, ah, they'll throw me into the.

cooler here in Minnetonka, Plymouth, whatever, I'll spend the night to, I'll get past this. And he said he'll never forget the cop was on the CB jaw jacking back and forth about hauling my Ken doll friend into jail. And he said, the look on the cop's face changed a little bit. And the cop got off the CB and said, well, Ken, I got some bad news for you. I got to take you downtown. And Ken Dahl said, wait a minute, what? And he said, yeah, sorry, dude, we got nowhere to put you. I got to take you downtown.

Oh, boy. And in the county jail? And that changed Ken's outlook on things. And he thought, oh, Jesus, Paul's. And he's wearing this fancy suit. He was at some kind of a company party. Oh, no. And he said they threw him into that general holding cell with 20 other cats.

And he said it was bad. they immediately he was a target and they teed off on him as best they could. He said his favorite one of his favorite memories of the experience was he sat down

and just stared at his shoes hoping that somehow he would go unnoticed well that didn't happen. He said a lot of the guys that were in the holding cell were familiar with each other because they'd been in there a number of times.

And they were trading stories as to how they got in there that evening. So one of them was like, hey man, what are you doing in here again? And the guy's like, yeah, I came home and my wife was with some other guy. I had to stab a mother effort. Stabbed him.

And they were like, oh, no, dude, yeah. Yeah, shoot. I stabbed him. Did the right thing, though. Well, what about you over there, Joey? And Joey's like, yeah, I, uh, I choked this some bitch out. One of his eyes popped out.

I was high on crack. I choked a guy out. And they were like, ah, yeah, it happens. And they said, hey, white boy, what do you in for? And Ken says, I got a DWI. And they said, what are you crazy or something? DWI, what are you trying to kill somebody? And he wanted to say something out loud, like maybe he might say,

well, what the hell are you talking about? This guy just choked somebody in an eye, this guy's step. but he didn't say anything. He's still covered in another person's blood. Yeah, but they said, what are you nuts? You're an idiot. Drunk driving.

So anyway, he said they all did everything they could, threatening him, making it as uncomfortable as possible. And he was terrified. Fast forward a couple of hours. His name gets called. Kendall, you're out. The day, what do you call this thing, Josh? The door rolls open for him to leave.

And the lead guy in the holding cell, the guy that had been torturing him the worst, threatening to kill him and this and that, the lead guy says, hey man. And Ken Dahl turns back and he says, you're one cold-blooded mother effort. You never cracked once, man. I got respect for that.

You could come by anytime. He said, hey, man, good luck to you. Have a good night. Take care of yourself. You're a cold-blooded sum bitch. he gutted it out do you remember i wish i could give credit to the person that said this but somebody texted and said what my role might be in prison it was two words i didn't catch that what he said my role would be in prison if i was a prisoner a cuck king no no no pocket holder

oh yeah oh yeah yeah what do you mean definitely sorry that was so mean oh but yes you're probably right. Yeah, I remember we actually, I think we covered that not that long ago. Cubby a couple months ago. Becoming a pocket holder. What do I got here? This is nothing that'll part your hair for you. You won't even bat an eye. Sadly, you won't because over the last few years, this type of thing is more or less just become part of everyday business here in America. We've become so unimaginably dumb. So here it is. A gal didn't like the way she was treated at a fast food restaurant so she went ahead and pulled out a gun, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just a shame and an embarrassment.

You would hope at some point if you know you have that type of temper, you'd remove a gun from the situation or something that could change lives in the matter of an instant. Well, that's what you would do if you were a reasonable adult with common sense and respect for others, but no, you'd do. So anyway, security cameras caught the whole sad, pathetic affair. You know how it goes, loud swearing threats, the gun, the cops, this and that, F you. The gal's mugshot, I saw it.

She has a look of a stupid idiot. You can tell just by looking at her face, she's one of the stupid idiots. And everybody else just doesn't get it, you know? She knows what she's doing. Oh, of course she does. Yeah, definitely. All right.

Cubby, you and I go way back on this year radio show, 26, 7, 8 years. I can't remember, but I'll tell you right now. I remember the first time we told a story on this radio show of a human weaponizing an animal where a human being weaponizes an animal

in order to use that animal against another human being and if my memory serves me the animal that was weaponized all those years ago was a cat and the story was a friggin riot I think it was a deal where

and if you're not familiar if you don't remember and I don't expect you to this was a long time ago I think this was a deal where a dude had a problem with his neighbor. This is one of my favorite stories ever. Dude had a problem with his neighbor. He hated his neighbor. So the dude grabbed up some effing feral, angry stray cat

up off the sidewalk. Then he walks over to his neighbor house, rings the doorbell, and when the neighbor answers the door, hello, how can I help? The dude tosses the furious stray cat at the neighbor, and the cat tore the neighbor's arms and legs into garbage. I mean, come on. That's funny right there.

don't care who you are. Not too long ago, there was a somebody weaponized, a tarantula. Various animals have been weaponized. And you know the entire time the cat wants to say, hey, don't be mad at me. I'm just doing what a stray cat does. And why the hell was I forced to be a part of this anyway? Yeah, they don't want to be involved in that. Here's a sorry some bitch in Oregon.

For whatever reason, we're all over Oregon lately here in the stupid news report. I find that interesting. Somehow, we get very. Repeat, a dude in Oregon. He got himself arrested for using a seagull as a weapon. Apparently that's what he did. He used a seagull. Witnesses on the scene of this terrible crime say that this dude actually grabbed two seagulls up off the sidewalk.

And he used one of them to attack some other poor bastard. What did he do with the other one? I'm sorry to say, Ashley, that's all that I really have on this situation. Says here the dude with the gulls was not arrested. The cops just took his sorry ass home, but they told them don't get cute and go anywhere. We're coming right back. The seagulls are fine, just very confused. I don't know exactly what he did, how he weaponized the seagull, which sucks.

I wish I could tell you more, but that's all they gave me in this stupid story. Weaponized a gull. ski. But that cat story, that was where it's at. That would be the most terrifying thing ever. Oh, man. You get your butt kicked by something like that. Even if you're a cat lover.

That would scare me so much. Cats freak me out. They will tear you a new one. They do not care. They won't ask you questions. They'll just tear you into next. We've got to take a break. We'll be back with the sports.

Sports. On the 93X half-assed morning show. You fall down and then one second later you have hop up like nothing's wrong is the timeout and the other team The largest person on the team can punch you directly in the face as hard as they like You still want to floppy fine we involve nature if you make a floppy the other team hold you down while an elephant takes a Directly on your chest. Yes an elephant deaf on your braids sounds like fun great then floppy away mother floppers those are my solutions FIFA please Please listen. I'll tell you what, it's been a while since we've heard from Flula.

What's that? He's a big sports fan. Yes. German-born comedy legend, flula. Hell, he's tried to change the rules of basketball, baseball also. And now, the latest year, he's giving his thoughts on how to fix flopping in the sport of soccer. I love that effing guy. He's got some good ideas.

He does have some great ideas. And I cut that down a lot. There's a few more in there that he had genius ideas and how to get rid of flopping. Well, you cut out the genius stuff. I mean, I would have wanted to hear the genius stuff. I thought those were the funniest of the two. Well, that's good.

Or funniest of the four, I believe. Flula. There he is. All right. There's not a hell of a lot going on to tell you sports-wise. I mean, the twins won last night, and that's great. But let's go back to a couple things. we've discussed this morning.

We had a story in the stupid news about a man who weaponized a seagull and used that seagull against another human being. It brought us back to a legendary story about a man who weaponized a stray cat and threw it at another human being. And the cat's thinking, wait a minute, how did I get here? Why am I the your friendly neighborhood garbage man, Jesus, Josh, texted in. He said he once threw a cat at. one of his cousins. And it was not good. Is there any more information?

He just said it scratched up his cousin pretty good. I would think so. Threw a cat at one of his cousins. We also got to talk about body odor. Now, what got us headed in that direction, there was a gaming tournament. U-Gi-O is the name of the game. There was a gaming tournament somewhere in Oregon

at a card shop, game shop. And the owners of the shop had to cancel the tournament. They had to throw everybody out under the sidewalk because the crowd involved in this tournament smelled so horribly. And we got into a long conversation about that. A lot of our listeners know a thing or two about these gaming tournaments and they said that's not uncommon. There's something about that crowd. They just don't wash themselves and it becomes this nightmare. New guys in the corner puking his gun.

We got a few other texts on the subject. Oh, well, we also talked a little bit about jail in our stupid news. report and a listener texted in to say you want to talk about mass group body odor. One of our listeners says, take it from me. Jail friggin stinks. I can believe that. I can believe that. The other situation that I often hear stories about there's a terrible smell coming off,

everyone involved is a porn shoot. Oh, gross. Never thought about that. Yeah, I hear that every once in a while, the chive or somebody will pump out an article about the inside secrets of porn. And they've done it to death. But one of them, it comes up every time. And they ask, you know, porn actors and actresses.

You know, what are the drawbacks? What are the secrets? And there's always one porn star who says, you would not believe the smell coming off that room. It seems like they have something, like the professional shoots. They have so many rules and stuff that maybe that'd be a part of it. I wonder if it's the same when you're making a movie. I think it's only natural, Josh.

Like a love scene in a regular movie? You can wash yourself up and down, but once everything starts flapping back and forth for an hour and a half. They look like they're working from what I hear. You know, things open and closed. There's openings and closing. Right. Finally, one listener says, I have a 20, well, I won't give away too much information. I have a coworker that smells like fish.

He wears the same clothes every day, doesn't shower, no deodorant, no nothing. It's nasty. We've had that, yeah, we've, everyone's probably had that experience. We work with somebody every day and they just don't take care of themselves and it becomes... I know somebody who smelled like cream corn and I'm not going to be able to explain the condition.

It was like I loved cream corn. Don't get me wrong. I don't like the smell of it though. But it was gross when it's emanating off a person. It's overwhelming. And every day. Yes. Right?

Every day. From his body was going through something called ketosis. I barely understand it so I won't even try and explain it. But once he made a job, adjustments to figure that out, cream corn smell went away. Cream corn. Yep. I mean, it was, it's like somebody opened a can right in your face.

It smelled exactly like it. And I've told you about the beloved old coworker of mine. God dang it, and he died young, this guy. We worked together for a few years at a warehouse job. Just a wonderful guy. But he just did not ever wash, ever. You could see the layer of it. of filth on his body.

The only clean part of his body were his eyes, where when he'd wake up in the morning, he would rub, you know, his eyes. That was it. Other than that, there was a permanent layer of dirt. His clothes were so filthy they had like a shine

to them. Was he homeless? No, that's where I'm going with this. I loved the guy. He was such a great guy. Eventually, the apartment complex that he lived in, his neighbors were so overwhelmed that they sent the cops after him

and they had to de-louse him. Boy. He came to work one day, shaved down to the screws. Head shaved, and he was finally clean. And we said, what the hell happened? And he said, yeah, they pulled me out of my apartment. They de-loused me.

Oh, man. How do you let it get that bad? Yeah, maybe it's one of those things where it's just, it's a little bad, and it keeps getting worse, and you don't even realize it. There's no turning back. Yeah, a point in no return. I thought you knew somebody like this as well. A friend of mine in high school, his family, they didn't use deodorant because they were concerned about chemicals and stuff.

And so they tried, like, some of the ones that say they have no chemicals, and eventually they went to the baked potato deal. Yeah, I know one guy who didn't believe in deodorant, and he would make that very clear every once in a while. You know, I don't believe. Okay, great. Congratulations. You're the leader of the anti-deodorant movement. You can have that title. Yes, he didn't believe in it.

And there were times where it was impossible to hang around the sum bitch. I got to say these, I mean, family weren't bad. There was times it would get a little right, but never awful. Never. But that's the first I'd ever heard of that where somebody doesn't use deodor. I never knew there's chemicals in it. I never even thought about it. I like the chemicals.

I also, I'm a chemicals guy. Me too. I like what they do to me, inside and out. Again, we'll cover. some more jock sniffing a little bit later on. Randy Shaver's got the day off, but Brad Ryder will join us in a half hour. Till then, swing back for Josh's news report. Air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning

is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at Standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work, and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help.

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Hey, I'm Chris Van Fleet. Go behind the scenes and beyond the headlines with the biggest names in pro wrestling and beyond. Jeff Jarrett, great to see you. In this business, the story behind the scenes, so much more entertaining than what you see on camera. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman. Mr. Heyman. You are a master at the little. things. That's how you turn good into great.

What does it take to achieve greatness? Whatever it takes I'm willing to do. That's an Emmy winning performance. How about it? Insight with Chris Van Fleet. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Flames were shooting at least seven or eight feet above the fence and starting to catch the brush and the plastic wagon that we had sitting right there. So we're starting to spread fast.

Now I go. A Washington State man saw his neighbors home on fire and sprang into action without hesitation or pants. When flames flared back up in his neighbor's garage after a smoldering firework reignited, Wesley Howard didn't waste precious time looking for clothes. He decided modesty could wait. I was dead asleep in the bedrooms. I could see out the window right here in between the two houses that it was just glowing bright orange. With only moments to react, he fell back to his Navy training.

Grab a hose first, worry about the wardrobe later. I just came running down, naked and everything, and around the corner, didn't see if there was anybody out here watching or what was going on. I just knew I had to get to that garden hose as fast as I could. All right, what was really going on there? It was legit. You think so? Yeah, he's a Navy vet, and I'm going to take his word for it.

Howard bared the flames and the buff and paid for it by burning his toes on hot embers. I saw it was a raging fire, so I had two options, run back in the bedroom and get some shorts or run straight down the stairs outside and grab a hose and start firefighting. So that's what I did. He saw the fire. They saw his

hog his bear all bravery likely saved not just his neighbor's house but his own as well you trained for it but you never know how you're going to act when the situation arises by the time firefighters and police arrived Howard had finally suited up in a pair of shorts maybe next time i'll have clothes on when i do it with both homes still standing Howard says the lesson is simple soak your fireworks after using them and always have a plan in case you're overmatched even when you're underdressed. Back in the day, there was a house fire at a house down the street from where we were living at St. Cloud State. And a few of us, yeah, looked out the window and said, oh, Jesus, that house is on fire.

It just so happened somehow, some way, Josh. My buddy, who was the best looking without his clothes on, somehow ran over there without his shirt on with the rest of us. You see what I'm saying? Wait, weren't you wearing a shirt? He took his shirt off. He tarped off to go help the fire. I swear to God, I think he was where. And, oh, I neglected to mention that I believe this house that caught fire briefly was a house full of girls.

And so somehow my cut buddy, he ended up running over there with the rest of us without his shirt on. That's weird how that happened. There's never been anyone who hates their own penis more than me. until now that's very true I found a guy you sure yeah okay well you can be the judge yeah a 36 year old Indiana man's facing a felony charge after choosing

an unusual way to commit arson he cut off his penis with a kitchen knife oh lord poured gasoline on that severed hog and then set it on fire in his family's garage oh boy this guy's done no I said light the wick man

wick yeah he does hate his gear even more than do. While firefighters were putting out the blaze, police were responding to what was initially reported as a stabbing at that same property, only to realize the stabbing victim and the missing resident from that fire were the exact same guy. He was missing, but his penis stayed behind. He just lost his mind or what? It sounds that way. Yeah, okay. Yeah, he didn't just get the shaft. He supplied it. When officers found 36-year-old Christopher Payton, they didn't find his penis. He claimed he'd been stabbed somewhere in downtown Fort Wayne. But on the ride to the hospital, he admitted he'd made the whole story up and wanted to tell the truth.

He then explained what really happened, telling officers he'd sought off his own downtown Fort Wang, doused it in gasoline, lit the little fella up, then simply walked away until he ran into police. What the hell was he smoking? The court filing didn't explain why he harmed himself or how severe his injuries were. And if you're wondering whether anyone ever recovered the missing family jewels, court records didn't say. Well, it was turned into ash. I'd imagine there's nothing left. Wow.

How do you cut off your own effing dong with a kitchen knife? How did you say it again? Yeah, kitchen knife is how they described it. And then he put gasoline on it and used us to start a garage fire. You got to be so out of your mind on something. And then he's able to have a conversation later with the paramedics and explain this to them. I'll be dipped. A Twin Cities police officer just logged their very first pavement pop.

Unlike a desk pop where police officer Will Ferrell intentionally fired his gun indoors after his coworkers convinced him it was a police tradition. A pavement pop is when an officer accidentally fires a gun outdoors while approaching a vehicle during a traffic stop, which, for the record, isn't a police tradition. Jesus, I would scare me if I was behind the wheel. I can't even imagine. I'd probably take off. If I was the cop, anybody in that situation.

The Embergrove Heights Police Department said one of its officers accidentally fired a single shot early yesterday morning. After a driver decided the best way to handle a traffic stop was to put the vehicle in park and put his legs in sprint. According to investigators, cops first tried to stop the vehicle near South Street and 6 Avenue South, about 3.40 a.m., but the driver took off. A short time later, another officer spotted that same vehicle and tried again. This time the car stopped, but the driver didn't, bailing out and taking off on foot. As the officer approached the now empty vehicle, investigators said the cop accidentally fired one round, sending the bullet into one of the tires. Authorities say the shot was not directed at anyone, and no one was in or near the vehicle.

The suspect didn't get very far. Police later found that person nearby, and they were injured falling over a fence. The Evergrove Heights Police Department says the accidental accident. Discharge will be reviewed under its standard operating procedure, which is probably less painful than having your co-workers review it for the next several years at every Christmas party the cops have. Sucks. Oh, that sucks. That's too bad. Where'd that bullet end up?

Tire. Oh, it went into a tire. You know, it's an unusual arrest when an officer expecting a foot pursuit narrowly avoids a surprise foot to the face. But that's what happens when the perp knows Kung Fu. Such a cool video. Yeah, you can see this on 93X.com where you can go to Hogbauer Automotive.com and see this, true story.

Wild footage shows a Virginia Beach police officer nearly getting his head kicked off by a martial artist's impressive move before returning the favor with a shoreline sweep. 33-year-old Timothy Wagert was being chased by cops about 2.30 a.m. July 5th, when a scene straight out of an action movie unfolded. At least four cops were in pursuit.

A martial artist and former Matt instructor at up-level martial arts in Charlottesville, Virginia, Weigert was being chased across the sand before he unveiled his signature spinning surprise. And it was impressive. As one officer closed in, the karate king attempted a spinning back kick to the officer's head. But the cop ducked it by inches, avoiding what easily could have been a knockout or possibly a decapitation. There's an impressive kick, huh? Yeah.

The cop then tackled Weigert and his fellow officers immediately piled on. cuffing the karate clown before he could break out another striking technique. Turns out a spinning back kick isn't a lot of help against four cops, says a black belt doesn't count for much against a blue uniform dog pile. Waggerd was arrested and charged with felony assault of a law enforcement officer, along with other misdemeanor counts, including disorderly conduct. You guys get a chance. I know, Ashley, you saw it. You posted it.

Yeah, it's a great video. Yeah, great video. I'll have to check that out. You'll love it. Some bitch, he finally had a... chance to use his signature move, but he missed. The cop was too fast. I want to go over to that 93x.com or hogbauer automotive.com.

Or I got ripped off at Hoggbower Automotive. All of them will take you there. Some sad news. We discussed this briefly earlier this morning, but Bonnie Tyler, the powerhouse vocalist behind total eclipse of the heart and a three-time Grammy nominee died yesterday, surprisingly, her family said.

She was 74. Tyler's death comes after she underwent emergency surgery and was hospitalized in Portugal. Doctors reportedly placed her in a medically induced coma as part of her treatment. The Welsh singer first broke through in 1977 with her debut album, The World Starts Tonight, before It's a Heartache became an international hit. She reached global superstardom in the 1980s with classics, including Total Eclipse of the Heart and Holding Out for a Hero. Total Eclipse of the Heart earned Tyler her first,

Grammy nomination in 1984. I had forgotten about holding smooth out for a hero. I need a hero in the middle of the night type of a thing. That was another huge hit. Yep. She was a pretty lady with a lot of talent. Definitely, yeah. It's a heartache. My favorite of those that you mentioned.

Okay, Josh, I watched a video of the karate master who attempted to kick a cop's head smooth off of his shoulders. You know what it reminded me of? It reminded me of that classic fight scene from Roadhouse. Roadhouse. I effed guys like you in prison.

That great scene between Patrick Swayze and the other guy. I actually watched a documentary recently, at least a brief portion of a documentary about Patrick Swayze's life, and they interviewed the dude that he had that karate fight with, the actor who he had that karate fight with in the movie. And a lot of the contact that you see in that scene is legit. That's impressive. I don't know that.

That they really did kick the piss out of each other, and Patrick Swayze came out of it. with a couple of broken ribs and this and that, but they wanted it to be as authentic as possible. When I originally watched that scene, I didn't think much of it, but now that I've learned more about it, it's pretty impressive stuff.

I've got to watch that documentary. I hadn't heard of it. I don't think it's... What? You can skip it? No, no, no. I don't think it's anything too dramatic. It's anything you learned that you had no idea.

I mean, obviously that information you just gave us. Yeah. Here's what I'm trying to say. It's not like a big Netflix thing. or a paramount video thing. I think it was just on some cheap cable channel that I have, so it might be difficult for you to find. Okay.

But it's only about an hour-long documentary on Patrick Swayze. Did I learn anything else about the man? That was probably it. That's interesting. The legitimacy of that karate fight, yeah. If you're looking for something new to stream outside of that Patrick, I already forgot, Swayze documentary. Yeah.

Here's a couple of premieres to add to your watch list. Half Pint is back. Little House on the Prairie arrives on Netflix with a new take on the classic story. The reboot follows the Ingalls family as they build a life on their Midwestern farm in the late 19th century, celebrating the strength of family

and the challenges of frontier life. Hmm. And the challenges of frontier life. Once upon a time, Ma and Pa and Mary and Laura left the big woods of Wisconsin and moved to the country. Prairie where a new life was waiting for them.

They were happy because they were a family. Producers and staff from the TV series visited Walnut Grove, Minnesota, seeking to make the show more historically accurate. Since the 1970s TV show, Walnut Grove still attracts thousands of fans dressed in bonnets and petticoats every summer. I don't know if I'll take an interest in this, but my wife and I still watch Little House on the Prairie quite often when we're. we have nothing better to do.

I have a couple of friends who still watch the old reruns as often as possible. I don't know if I'll go for the new one, but what a hell of a run that program had. Yeah. Like we were talking about it yesterday, I would run home from school to watch that. And that theme? Did they stick with the original theme song? That was such a great theme song. I don't know.

I hope so. I agree. I loved it. Hopefully tonight I can watch at least one of the episodes. Were you like me and my wife and our friends? Didn't you hate Carrie? Oh, Carrie, wait, no. Carrie sucked.

Why didn't you like Carrie? Because she was an idiot. I'll have to rewatch it. She was little. She was annoying. She was always whining and bitching and getting in the way of what Laura and Mary wanted to do with their day. Carrie sucked. She was totally unnecessary.

I do notice the whining more as I get older and rewatched some stuff when I was a kid. Like Luke Skywalker, I don't remember him being whiny when I watched as a young person, but I watch it now and I think, how did anybody put up in that guy? I know. That was so disheartening to find him. find out just how annoying he was when I grew up. Text us, 651, 989, 93. You old Little House on the Prairie fans, didn't you hate Carrie? When I watch old episodes, all Carrie has to do is talk,

and I find myself shouting at the television, I say, oh, shut up, Carrie. I'm going to check our, what do you call it, our text machine? I'm telling you. She ruined a lot of those old episodes. Well, now I have to watch. I remember being just cute as a button. Oh, come on. I have to rewatch it.

And for mirror today on Peacock, the five-star weekend starring Jennifer Garner, Regina Hall, Timothy Oliphant, and more. A celebrated food influencer struggling with a personal loss invites four friends from different stages of her life to a luxurious weekend in Nantucket. As the getaway unfolds, long-buried secrets come to light, and relationships are put to the test. You're doing okay? Yeah, forgot the whipped cream. She's definitely not okay. No. This weekend's going to be.

You know who? Since Matthew died, I don't know who I am. You know what I heard works for pain? Screwtop being greas. He's gone and now you have to live. I am trying. A few people are texting and backing me up on my hatred for the character, Carrie from Little House on the Prairie,

but others are going after Nellie Olson. Well, she was mean. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe she just needed some kindness in her life. Look at you. Her dad was awesome. Her mom was trouble.

Nels Olson was one of my favorite characters. That's some bitch what he put up with on a daily basis. Between his wife and daughter? Yeah. He was a good guy. Good guy deep down inside. Yeah, he was awesome. I would spend money at his mercantile just to...

He deserves the business. You had a little bit of a thing for Mrs. Olson, though, didn't you? There's something. I want to crack through that... You crack that shell. Yeah, I hear you. I remember when we were younger, I think you used to compliment her figure. Yeah, I like it.

I'm a fan. Fred Savage is 50 today. For me, how'd that happen? I know. He still looks 20. He does. Fred Savage, 50, Jack White, 51, Tom Hanks, 70. It's a great day.

We get to welcome Leanna to the Sisterhood. And thanks to the retirement of Minnesota Broadcaster Hall of Fame inductee, Dave Ryan. mom. They're trying to convince mom to get into the sisterhood, too, to make the switch. Got a few belated birthday shoutouts. Happy belated 16th to Avery, 28th to Jesse from Daddy O. And one more belated birthday. This one to Kenny, turning the big O3. Turned the Big O'3 on Tuesday from Creed, Mom and Dad, Bad Company, Jesus. And finally, happy birthday today to dirt-slinging Jesus from your bestest bud, bearded chicken Jesus. And that's 93X news. on the half-assed morning show this portion of the half-assed morning show is brought to you by hogbauer

automotives conveniently located at third avenue and main street we've got the fairest prices in town what's the bill how much you got no no i'm asking how much the repairs are i'm asking you how much you got as you heard all services are haggle-free look i don't have time to play around okay so how much is it all of it boy Mention 93X for our special on premium blinker fluid. Visit hogbower automotive.com or I got ripped off at hogbower automotive.com. Oh, man, yes, they are officially in our rotation. They're an official client now. Hogbauer Automotive 3rd Avenue Main Street.

Let's welcome Brad Ryder into the mix. Hello, Brad. Good morning. Morning. How are you guys? We're doing all right. Thanks for joining us. We've got to let you know

and let folks know in general that Randy is off today. He's got something going on. Hopefully we'll hook up with Randy come tomorrow morning. So thank you, Brad Ryder. We won't keep you too terribly long today. I don't think, Brad.

There ain't a hell of a lot going on. Yeah, it's kind of that time of year where especially right around the All-Star break in baseball, there really isn't. I mean, football training camp hasn't started yet. friggin training camp the two weeks between the NBA seasons and NHL seasons are upon us so yeah there ain't a hell of a lot going on i'm sure you got better things to do with your morning let me start though with another heads up on our broost out cancer event coming up at the end of the month in randy shaver's absence we might as well give it another little mention and see what cuts loose bros out cancer is how you say it Friday july 31st at the wise ed america Legion. Buy a ticket. Come on out. Get yourself a nice meal. All the proceeds go to helping folks out

and families out right here in Minnesota who are battling with cancer. Now one of the side notes on this, and we sure hope to see you there, Brad Ryder on July 31st, one of the side notes about an event like this is we do get people who want to volunteer or help out. And donating to the silent auction is one way to do that. You know, maybe you can't make it out on the 31st, but you can always help out by donating something for the silent auction. Last year we had some generous donations. Lakeview Honey was one of them.

Pucks Barbecue. Do you recall that, Josh, from last year? Some dude donated some of his barbecue sauce to the, yeah. The people at Fan H.K. They always hook us up. Very generous people. So keep that in mind. Last year, I personally donated an unused and unopened, and that's the key.

You know, kind of like Toys for Tatas. We want you to bring a new item. Don't just pull some garbage out of your basement. Last year, I donated an unused and unopened Depfinder. Oh, dude, that's awesome. And it made a few bucks. Those are cool. the silent auction yeah oh yeah well this is this was an older model my god the some of the

depth finders and fish finders they have these days are incredible you might as well just put scuba gear on and go down to the bottom of the lake and just grab a fish with your bare hands but so keep that in mind if you want to help out with this event dude i wanted to ask you fellers ashley's taking a little breakie but i wanted to ask you fellers is there anything that you can think of, something unused, something new you might have around the house. Brad Wright. Funny you mentioned that. When you were talking about that, I was just thinking, I'm going to go through

my closet and see if there's anything that I might have, like, apparel-wise or something that I've accumulated over the last 20-plus years working in sports that people might be interested in. Oh, yeah. I bet you got some stuff. Take a look around. You might have something. One of my links championship rings?

No, I'm not going to do that. Dude. I hold on to that. Every once in a while, Brad likes to bring up the fact that he owns NWNBA championship ring, or multiple rings, three of them. Because you were working for the links. What years? Oh, my gosh.

Now you're testing me. It won't be that difficult. What years did I work? I worked there from 2013 to 2019. And just on a side note, last night she got it done. Last night in a place called Uncassville, Connecticut. Uncasville, UNC-A-S-V-I, it doesn't matter, but it's an interesting sounding name.

Minnesota Lynx head coach Cheryl Reeve became the winningest head coach in WNBA history. So, yeah, she won titles in 2011, 13, 15, 17. So you got a ring from three of those four titles? Yes. Sweet. Baudet, Fishing Guide, Jesus, Nick. He has over $12,000 of electronics in his boat.

Oh, I can only imagine. He's a fishing guide. can only imagine. I bet it's unbelievable to watch all of that work, too, if you're on board with Boddette Fishing Guy Jesus. That stuff has come so far. I'd love to see it. I mean, the last time I was on a boat with one of those was probably 20 years ago. I can't even imagine how far the technology is going. I mean, it's just cameras at this point? Yeah, underwater camera. I mean, have Boddette Fishing Guy, Jesus, explain it to you sometime. Josh, with your interest in you will probably become a fishing guy.

Can I use it in the bathtub? I have no way to use it otherwise. At the neighborhood pool. Yeah, just go to the pool. So congratulations to Cheryl Reeve. The record was previously held by a former Connecticut son and Washington Mystics coach by the name of Mike Thibbo. Do you know, Brad Ryder?

You used to work in the W. That name. sounds familiar. I am not real familiar with him, though. Cheryl Reeve is now the, well, she has been, I think, for a while, the longest continuously tenured coach in WNBA history. The Lynx hired her in 2010. So now she's the all-time career regular season record holder for wins. And this is, I believe this is Connecticut, not that a lot of people necessarily follow this.

They're moving to Houston. This is their last year in Connecticut. Oh, really? Oh, wow. weren't they one of the original teams? Yeah, Houston was. Well, Connecticut was too. Yeah, Houston used to have a team. And now they're going to be moving to Houston after this year.

Nothing survives in Connecticut. The Hartford Whalers couldn't make it. The Connecticut Sun couldn't. Hey, the WWE headquarters are still there. Oh, wait, no, they just moved into New York recently. I lied. Nothing can survive in Connecticut. I guess not.

So again, back to the brostout cancer event Friday, July 31st at the American Legion. See if you got some. something around the house that could be used in this silent auction because every friggin dime matters. It doesn't have to be anything that's going to, you know, blow the doors off the joint. I mean, we just, we just ask that it's, you know, new. Hell, I'm kind of a hoarder, though. Everything that I would look at and think, I'm like, yeah, no, I want to hang on to that. Yeah. But I'll find something. I'm the opposite. Actually, we're going to give away a backup Terry T-shirt, or I should say,

sleeveless t-shirt on the boat tomorrow night. I bought one for Nick and for whatever reason it was three times the size it should have been. That's almost always how it happens. You try to buy a t-shirt for yourself or somebody else but you have no idea how extra

large means something completely different at one company compared to the other. It really does. It's like a friggin bath towel, this t-shirt that says, back up, Terry. So if you are, you where an extra large

that really is about a 3x, then we've got one of those for you on the boat. There you go. All right, so go to 93X.com, go to the calendar section, and then you can click on station events

to learn more about our brosted out cancer event, possibly even submitting a silent auction donation. It's 5.30 to 8 p.m. on the 31st, $20. Gets you the broasted chicken, baked potato, coleslaw, dinner roll.

We'll have giveaways, a 50-50 split-the-pot raffle, silent auction. What do you think, my Clara City, American Legion baseball uniform top from 1986 would get? I'll tell you what, Brad. Every penny counts. Every penny counts. Your old high school baseball jersey. you're saying. Yeah.

From Clara City in 1986. I would probably be the only one who would bid on it. I wouldn't mind bidding on it. But you never know, Brad Rider. You don't. Oh, man. Speaking of your old Clara City days, Brad, growing up on the farm ski, Josh was just telling us,

tonight is the night where you can find the new little house on the prairie, the reboot or whatever you call it in the industry of Little House on the Prairie begins tonight. Were you a fan of that program? Yeah, I liked watching it. I mean, I have no knowledge of this new show whatsoever. Well, neither do we. It's on Netflix. It debuts today.

Oh, that kind of knowledge. Yeah, okay, Josh knows what channel it's on, but other than that, we don't really know where they're going with this, if they're going to pretty much mirror exactly what the old series. It's supposed to follow the books. Oh, okay. So I can't even, I know I read which one specifically, but it's going to start with one of them. With Mary and Laura and Charles and Caroline and Albert and Kerry.

And then you got the Garvey's, right, played by Merlin Olson. Merlin Olson. Mr. Edwards. He was great. And the Olson family, Nells and, and Mrs. Are they going to keep it pretty G-rated? Are they going to spice this up a little bit? Well, you want to see some skin or something?

Well, drama and stuff like that. We want some of the early 1900s banging. You see, like we said yesterday, we covered this yesterday. And I made the mistake of asking, well, are they going to make this kind of a darker version of Little House? But then it dawned on me. There really weren't any shows during the original run of Little House on the Prairie. There weren't many shows darker than that program. It could get dark for sure.

People died every episode. People were mangled or burned to death every episode in the old Little House on the Prairie. By the way, one of our listeners, Brad Ryder, texted in to say their favorite character from the old little house on the prairie was Joe Ingalls. I get the record. I think you got that.

What the hell is this? He was awful tall for people back. He was. I mean, really stood out. He was. Oh, my damn. I mean, at what, six foot eight? He's a monster.

Yeah. Some people are texting in there. There are possible donations to our silent auction. An autographed Jessica Drake poster. She's a porn star. Oh, okay. I think we'll probably keep that out of the mix, but we appreciate the thought anyway, banker Jesus.

With your autographed Jessica Drake poster. Yeah, a little house starts tonight. Going back to the old days down there in Walnut Grove. Twins won again last night, which means another series victory for that ball club. The new guy, Cubby. They called the new guy up from AAA, don't you know? A kid by the name of Alan Rodin,

and he ended up with the dramatic game-winning RBI single in the ninth inning. She was a walk-off, the Twins beat Cleveland 6 to 5. You didn't read the disclaimer, though, before we start praising them. No, I kind of figured I was wearing that out. Okay. Do you think I need the disclaimer, Josh, or do folks get the idea already? I think people get the idea, but there's some that might appreciate hearing it.

The twins suck. Their owners totally suck. They should sell the team. They're awful people. Beer costs too much. Sure, they've won a few games, but it doesn't matter. Even if they are in position to make the playoffs, they'll either be sellers at the trade deadline or they'll get whooped by the Yankees in the opening round.

The twins will never play in another world series ever again. Royce Lewis sucks. Byron Buxton sucks. He says he wants to be here. here, but he really doesn't. They'll both be injured soon enough. Well, that happened. I wrote this for four weeks ago, but it's come true. Their bullpen sucks. They're just going to trade Joe Ryan anyway, so who cares? Baseball sucks. Baseball is boring. The Polads have ruined our lives. Okay, there's our disclaimer. By the way, if you watch

last night's Twins game, and I'm guessing I was the only one. Yes. No, I watched too. I watched a fair amount. Okay. They did the analyst-only broadcast where they don't call the game with a lead announcer and all the traditional baseball stuff. They just had Trevor Plouffe, Justin Mornow, Glenn Perkins, and God help us. Who was the other one? It was a Denardt Span. Just kind of doing the, you know, how everyone's trying to mimic inside the NBA, where you just get four characters just joking back and forth.

Everyone's trying to mimic what the Manning brothers do for Monday Night Football. And I'm not trying to rip the program, but that's the general idea in case you haven't watched it yet. And the guys have fun. I enjoy it. I do. It's a nice change of pace. I'm not sure I would sign up to watch that every time I turned on a game, but I like it as a change-up. I do too. Now, speaking of the Polads ruining our lives, according to some of our listeners, they had one of the Polads featured on the game last night, and he was kind of horsing around in the outfield with Dinar's spans, something about giving away $20. bills. I don't know if that just

thoroughly disgusted people or not, but I thought it was fine. These days, I just assume that all some Twins fans need to see is a poll ad on television, and they will change the channel. Probably. So the Twins have won four in a row, five of six. Yes, Josh. Somebody's already

watched the new Little House on the Prairie on Netflix. It probably came out late last night, really, this morning. This could be a dirty joke, isn't it? No, not at all. Oh. You know, it's a reboot, so things are different. I guess. Charles singles, he takes a job at Hogbauer's buggy repair. I knew the company had been in business for a long time, but I had no idea. Buggy repair.

Yeah, I mean, the company's been around for centuries. I didn't know that. Yes. That's episode one. Farming gets a little dry for Charles, so he goes and takes a job there. The buggy repair shop. He could repair a buggy real quick. Boy, they'll rob you blind.

So there you go. What else with the twins? This Rodin kid who got the game-winning hit, he singled twice, drove in a couple of runs in the ball game. Cody Clemens was great. He's been a great hitter this year. Brooks Lee also having a great season. The twins did leave 12 runners on base. If this Roden kid doesn't get that game-winning hit when he did, I imagine we'd be talking about the fact that they left the bases loaded two or three times.

Anyway, they did get it done, so there's no need to focus on the. Bailey Ober is back today pitching the day game final final. So there you go. Bailey Ober is back. It's really intriguing when you look, because I did again this morning coming on here, looked at the American League standings. Everybody is just so bunched together.

There's like six teams within a game of each other. I mean, and the AL Central too. I mean, the AL Central is just a jumbled mess. I mean, in a good way, I guess, for the twins. But it's just we've only, I mean, I say only. only 70 games to go here. I mean, we've played over half the season, and all these teams are legitimately still in the mix

to do something or to be somewhere in the postseason. So it's kind of interesting. It's a goat rodeo. It's a gang bang. By the way, I'm really enjoying watching Brooks Lee this season. Like I said, he's having a great season. Happy to see. I don't know if this would matter to the man at all,

but a couple of websites are currently ranking him. in the top 10 short stops in the big leagues today. It's just so different to me, with the exception of Byron Buxton and Joe Ryan to see any twin player mentioned as a top five or top 10 at their position. But Brooks Lee's getting some of that recognition these days. So, oh, man. Last night, Toronto Blue Jay's starting pitcher, Dylan Sees,

lost out on his second career no-hitter in the ninth inning. I think there were two outs. Ain't that a pisser. Yeah. Almost came around to his second career no-hitter. Blue Jays playing the San Francisco Giants in San Francisco, but a Giants player by the name of Haleo Ramos broke up the no-no with a line-drive single to center field. I think there were two outs.

Blue J. still won the ball game. But ceased through a career high, 118 pitches, struck out 11. You see, this is what drives me nuts. A couple nights ago, there was that pitcher for somebody who was throwing a perfect game, but he was pulled in the seventh inning because, you know, we got to worry about the playoffs. He was throwing a perfect game. Now, the skipper for the Blue J. Schneider is his name. He left Dylan Cs out there even at 118 pitches and said, go ahead, get that no-hitter.

It depends on the manager. Depends on the organization. I get the argument the other day. We talked about this the other day. where and Randy kind of brought it up more than me, but the guy was on a pitch to come because he's coming back from injury. But I can't get away from the fact,

again, like you said, he had a perfect game. He didn't just have a no-hitter. He had a perfect game. So, you know, ride him out if he walks a guy, then take him out or something. But, yeah. It's so silly. You're only going to get that chance one time,

probably one time in your career. Yeah. So Dylan ceased through a new hitter, how you say it, Dylan ceased through a no-hitter for the San Diego Padres at Washington two years ago. Maybe some of you twins fans remember this while pitching for the White Sox in 20 and 22. Cease lost a no-hit bid with two outs in the ninth

when Luis Arise singled for the twins. So that's twice now where C-S has had a no-hitter busted up in the ninth. If you're at the plate and the pitcher's won out away from a no-hitter, do you swing away and go for it or do you just maybe swing at some shoulder high crap and let them have it? Well, anything but lay down a bunch is my answer to that question, because that'll get you killed.

Yeah. You're not getting out of the stadium a lot. It depends on the score, too. It depends on the score, too. If it's 3 to nothing, I think you're just trying to get on base. But if it's 9-0 and you like the guy, I don't know. I mean, that's a good question. I have no idea how common and no hitter is in high school baseball.

I would imagine if you get a kid who's just far and above more talented than anyone else, in the league, he could probably throw quite a few no-hitters. But I'll just tell you this, one of my buddies growing up, who's a career dick playing high school baseball, he broke up a no-hitter by laying down a bunt, and everyone in the ballpark wanted to kick his ass. I bet. Yeah, yeah.

Justin Verlander is going to retire after this baseball season. Josh, what do you think he'll do with all of his spare time? Oh, the million-man salute at some point. Yeah, the wife, for sure. When a guy like that goes home, how the hell is he going to keep himself occupied, Justin Verland. Well, it's about time. It's obvious. The writing's on the wall.

He'll go to the Hall of Fame. How old is he? 42, 43. 43, yeah. Yeah, it's time. It is, and I've watched him pitch a couple times this year, and it just looks like everything he does, it looks like it hurts. It's labored. So get to hell.

out of here, go celebrate your career. It was a wonderful career. He'll go smooth into the Hall of Fame. He made the announcement yesterday. He'll finish his career where it all started in Detroit. That's where he's currently paid. At the All-Star game, he'll be present. Verlander was named to the American League All-Star team today, yesterday, as a legend pick. I guess I haven't followed this gimmick. In the past, players like Clayton Kershaw

and Albert Pujols were put on All-Star teams as a legend pick. That's the role that Verlander's going to play. I like that. Sure. Why not?

I mean, he started. I'll bring him in for a batter or two during the game, too. Yeah. He'll pitch a little bit, I'm sorry. Yeah, he'll lob a couple up there. I mean, he's had a great career. He started two All-Star games.

speaking to the All-Star game, he started two of them. One of 11 pitchers with at least three Cy Young Awards, one of the few pitchers to be named MVP. He won the Triple Crown in pitching. Three no-hitters, scorching hot wife. What else do you want? I can see him transitioning over to being in the booth, like being a color commentator if he wanted to. I can see that. Yeah, sure.

but Jesus, wouldn't you just stop flying around the country on airplanes? Wouldn't you just stay home with old flopsie there and see what the two of you can come up with? Load management. Load management is the world. Old management. 651 or 715, Jesus said Verlander could write a novel on the headboard. Oh. He has that skill set.

We all know he has that skill set. What was that a part of the fappening when that came out? Yes, it was. I didn't even mean to do that. Yeah. That was something else. Never seen something like that? I prefer that celebrity couple over Travis and Taylor.

Oh, I think we all do. I think we all do. Verlander and Flopsy? They're a hell of a lot more fun and a lot more interesting than that other couple that you mentioned. Absolutely. I wouldn't leave the house, man. But yeah, I could see him doing television. I could see him going that route.

We got Brad Rider on the telephone here. Randy Shaver's got the day off in case you were wondering. And like I said earlier, we don't need to stick around all effing morning long. I'm sure you got other things to do. I have one more topic, though, that I'd like to bring up. I'm really looking forward to this because this ought to be something. I'm not normally a court TV type of a guy. Do any of you like to watch court proceedings on television,

whether they be legit, dramatic real-world stuff or the silly Judge Judy? Are you drawn to that kind of thing? I think it, yeah, I do. It depends on what the case is, I think. But, yeah, I'll watch a little bit of that. I've never watched the real cases in real time. I've watched, like, a documentary. The real cases in real time are boring, and I don't understand half of it.

Yeah, I can understand that. You wait for it to get cut up and edited, and then you'll watch the documentary. Jesus, it brings me back to my early days here at the radio station, where every single day, and I just wanted to climb the walls. Every single day we had an OJ update when he was in court for killing his wife and that other dude. Every single day we had some schmuck who was at the proceedings every day would call into the radio station and give us an update on what happened yesterday. Well, the proceedings went like this and the witnesses and this and that. I mean, sure, it was the trial of the century.

It was. And it was an incredible story. We all know that. The story's been told a zillion times at this point to have O. Jay Simpson on trial for murder was a colossal thing at the time. But a daily update, I was ready to go, bananas cubby.

And did he say, like, very legally, like, did you understand what he meant? Did he put in layman's terms at least? It was so long ago, I don't really remember, Dana. I think he kept it fairly simple for us, yeah, but it was, that was 30 years ago. Well, and the trial went on for so long, so I bet by day whatever,

you're like, okay. Oh, but this ought to be something. This, I'm drawn to this, the criminal trial. of former NFL analyst and quarterback Mark Sanchez will apparently begin September 8th, which coincidentally is the day before the start at the 20 and 26 NFL regular season. I think, I mean, I don't know,

because I've never really dabbled much with court TV and that type of a thing, that I might be more drawn to this than the actual NFL season when it... I'm intrigued by this because there are so many things about this case that people don't know yet. I mean, there's a lot of stuff. Like, how did this happen?

How did it start? Like, why did it, how did it escalate? I don't think a lot of the details have come out, and I think there's a lot of people interested in that. I don't think Mark remembers how it happened either. No, he doesn't remember anything about that night. Was he all jacked up on booze and pills, or what was it now? I thought it was a few things.

You could tell. I mean, when you watched some of that surveillance video, he had no idea what was going on. So this trial has been delayed, a half dozen times already, from what I understand. So don't hold me accountable for that start date. But the word now is, like I said, September 8th, the day before the 20 and 26 regular season begins.

I mean, last year sometime, this Sanchez guy went completely off his rocker and decided to play dagger tag with a 70-year-old truck driver in the middle of the night in downtown Indianapolis. This could be fun. Oh, here's a listener texting in.

I was talking about our old OJ update. But that was before this radio show was a thing. That was my first year or two in the business. People want to know whatever happened to our movie review guy, James Rocky. Well, unfortunately, he passed away. Yeah, he just texted. He did. He was a really good guy.

We had James Rocky on quite often talking about movies. Mr. DVD. when he first started back when it was for Netflix. You know, when they used to mail out DVD. There's probably people that don't even know they used to mail out DVDs. James Rocky. Poor guy. Brad Ryder, thanks for every damn thing.

Thanks for helping us out. Randy Shaver wasn't able to make it today. But we knew we could count on the old boy from Clara City. Yep, no problem. Talk to you guys tomorrow. We will talk to you tomorrow morning. We'll be back in a few minutes here on the half-ass morning show. Air conditioning, the love of my life.

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With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today.

763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-L-K-E-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-L-K-E-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-. and it spells relief for you. Jim Rome takes on sports. I will always have a complicated relationship with this game. But people evolve. So do sports. Do not make me regret this.

Do not make me devolve. Back to that guy that so many clones wish that I still was. And do not embarrass the entire country. Now, I can go back. I can get there fast. Lose tonight. And you got a real problem. Do not blow it.

The Jim Rome Show podcast. You've been warned. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. The 93X half-ass morning show. All right, for Christ's sake. Welcome back to the show, the 93X half-ass morning show. If you're wondering if things seem a little different this morning, yes, we've altered our regular schedule this morning for this reason and that reason. Hope you don't mind.

We had some things come up and we've had to alter. Well, first off, we had to make room for our now official show sponsor, Hogbauer Automotive. This portion of the half-ass half-ass game. morning show is brought to you by Hogbauer Automotive conveniently located at 3rd avenue and main street we've got the fairest prices in town what's the bill how much you got no no I'm asking how much the repairs are I'm asking you how much you got as you heard all services are haggle-free look I don't have time to play around okay so how much is it all of it boy mention 93x for our special on premium blinker fluid

Visit hogbauer automotive.com or I got ripped off at hogbauer automotive.com. Check out either one of those websites were happy to have them on board. And yeah, they made it official. They pulled together a few bucks and they made it official. Got a text message just a few minutes ago that says one of the part-timers at Hogbauer got my daughter pregnant. Dude, somebody mentioned that their wife got an oil change. Uh-huh. And somehow she got pregnant.

It happens every time. Somebody bought a sex doll and the sex doll got pregnant. Everybody gets pregnant at Hogbauer. Ooh, we. Well, they're having fun. We're happy to have them along. All right, I got a new phrase for you. Got a new bit.

That we'll all have to, you know, try it on for size, see what you think, see if it might become a regular thing. It's called type 2 fun. okay so you got your regular standard fun and then there's apparently also type 2 fun let me explain this to you got it right here josh uh what type 2 fun is where you have fond memories of something that was actually miserable while it was happening that is type 2 fun like say something embarrassing something horrible in the moment, but now that some time has gone by,

you can look back and it's turned into a great story. Oh, for me, it would obviously be when me and that dude got into a head-on collision at the orgy. I always try to get that in the moment when something's pretty terrible. I just think, well, you know, maybe down the road this will be a decent story or something incredibly embarrassing

where at the time you want to be anywhere else. That's type 10. Two fun, Cubby. Yeah, type two fun. The first thing I thought of right away, maybe this doesn't, I'm not sure if this fits. When I was younger, I had to go to treatment for my eating disorder, and it sucked at the time. You know, I missed school, had to go to this place. But looking back, I'm like, okay, that was kind of the bees knees.

You got really good food. I painted my nails like all day. All day long. We watched movies, barely any school work. Okay. That was awesome. I think that qualifies. It was kind of a miserable.

time in the moment, but now you look back and... Like, I'd go hang out there for a day. Why not? Yeah, that's how they're doing it. Unlike regular fun, they say type 2 fun isn't exactly enjoyable in the moment. But then after a while, you laugh when you think about it. So they say next time you're halfway through something difficult or miserable, and you're wondering how you got yourself in that situation or why you agreed to the situation.

Just remember you, you might be. making, you might be making your all-time favorite story. So yeah, the head-on collision with me and that other guy at the Orgy, certainly I'd chalk that up as a type two fun story. I'm going to go ahead with this too, Josh. I'm going to say my story about the clown party bus qualifies as type two fun because in the moment, I could not believe how stupid a situation I was in. But after the fact, I do enjoy telling that story. That's a great story. Total, absolute, nightmare at the time. You guys want to go on a bus party tonight?

Hell yeah, we want to go on a bus party tonight. All right, cool. Well, then here you go. I got all the clown makeup. Just put on the clown makeup, put on the clown suit and the big shoes and the big red hairdo. And we'll be ready to go. And we said, wait a minute. What?

Lead with that part. I think it's a good way to stay sane in a crappy situation. You think, all right, this will be a story someday. It always makes me feel a little bit. Sometimes all I can do is laugh to keep from crying. sometimes still a tear comes out. So can you think a one, Josh? I mean, can you think a one that would qualify for your top type 2 fun story?

I guess being a dad, Josh, there's probably like a million. Oh, people are texting that in. They said parenting basically it's just nonstop. Type 2 fun is parenting in general. Yeah, where just some of the decisions the kids make or things they do is ridiculous. He can't figure it out. or it's very costly, and then later on it becomes a story. The one that came to mind for me was an eighth grade.

Summer going into eighth grade, I had a penalty kick that would have sent our team to state. And the girl I liked at the time she had came and rode her bike to watch the game. And I missed the kick, get saved, we lose, we're not going to state, and I'm crying. I am, I could not stop crying. Why couldn't you hold it together for Christ? I was so emotional. I still am an emotional guy, but missing that kick. and that girl that I like Sarah was sitting over there, and it was so awful at the time,

but it's turned into the greatest life of time inside joke ever than my good friends and I. They're always just like, think how better your life would be right now. Had you made that penalty kick? You and Sarah would probably be on an island somewhere. I bet, yeah. And then like, oh, more more recently, so Lionel Messi, the best soccer player ever. He missed a penalty kick the other day. And in the group chat, they're like, hey, maybe text Sarah and say, hey,

even the greatest of all time is his penalty kicks. There's still time. How about a second chance? So did she lose interest? in you when she saw what a little bitch you were? Probably. Yeah. 100%.

God dang it. I know. Awkward. The one that got away. When you're close to death, I mean, Nick, both of us outrunning a tornado one year, I mean, that was terrifying. Well, yeah, it's funny. You bring up a tornado. Some guy texted in about his type two fun story.

He said, working at Brainerd International Raceway during the tornado in 91. It was miserable at the time, but now he looks back and it's a great story. Yeah. Once you survive. It becomes a great story. The night we had to outrun that tornado. Oh, Jesus. In the moment, I really thought we were dead.

I really did. Oh, this is a great answer via the text machine. Any person who's ever been in the military, it's terrible while you're doing it, but you look back fondly afterwards. I'm sure. I love hearing those stories. Plain people are saying,

you know, the poop your pants stories later on, they're kind of fun. Oh, absolutely. That's great. In the moment, that's pretty bad. That's a perfect example. That is a great example. How about when that old man knocked you out when you were a kid, Josh?

That's got to be the type two fun story for you. No, no, I don't have good memories about that. But when you tell the story, you don't enjoy looking back at that story? No, you don't enjoy it. It's uncomfortable for quite a few reasons. He accidentally knocked me out. He hit me on purpose, but he didn't mean to knock me out. No, no, no, no.

The old man that knocked the piss out of you. Oh, I thought you meant my dad. No, no, no. Because my dad knocked me out. Yeah, that was an accident. I'm talking about when that old crazy guy in your neighborhood beat you up. Yeah, so I didn't get fully knocked out, but I came as close as you can get. It's the birds, the stars, all that's spinning around.

I was just the closest guy there. He got me from behind. It was, yeah, I was totally confused. Took a while to figure out what even happened. All right. Feel free to text in your type two fun stories, if you like. We're at 651, 989, 9, 93. And again, the definition is something that was horrible, embarrassing, just a terrible time in the moment.

But now you look back and it's turned into a great story. Go ahead. We got time setting around here. Mediocre at best trucker, Jesus says, my entire childhood, he says. It was kind of a... All right. We look forward to reading a few of those before we get out of here. Oh, so yesterday...

I was watching the movie Battlefield Earth. Did you really watch it? Of course not. I'm kidding. Shocked me. No, no, no. I'm joking. But I saw here.

Well, first, let me ask you guys, if you guys follow these types of things. What's the big blockbuster movie this summer? Letter Buck. What is it? Well, there's Spider-Man for sure. Spider-Nuts. I mean, Dune 3?

Will that be a... Yeah, the Odyssey, I think, is going to be big. Does Toy Story Count? Toy Story Odyssey. I don't know if that counts. You tell me. What do you mean? Is it released already?

Oh, yeah, it came out. It didn't have made a bowl of money. So, yeah, that counts for sure. All right, those are the big blockbusters coming our way. Is there another Avengers movie coming out this year? Or is that? Another one? I hope we're just done with that by now.

Oh, no, there is one in December. It's coming out. I can't keep up. I'm too far behind. Slow down. There's a new Jumanji coming out. Oh, that's sweet. I'm excited for that.

According to ranker.com, Battlefield Earth, a movie from the year 2000, was voted the worst blockbuster movie of all time. I didn't think it was as bad as people said. I'm glad I saw it after it was just ripped on over and over and over. Because I had very low expectations. I have zero memories of Battlefield Earth, even though I do believe I watched a good hour of it or so when it first hit cable. But you got to help me out, Josh. Is John Travolta in the movie battle? Yes.

Okay, then I saw... That's why I wanted to watch it. I'm like, I like John Travolta. Other than that, I have zero memories of... He looks ridiculous. He sure does. What? All right, so did you guys mention these?

These are some of the other summer movies this year that could go into the record books as a blockbuster, depending on their success. I don't know if you mentioned Masters of the Year. universe, the death of Robin Hood. I know you have mentioned some of these, Josh, in your news reports. I wanted to see, or I do want to see the death of Robin. Supergirl, Minions and Monsters, Disclosure Day, Mona.

Oh, Disclosure Day, it's another one I want to see. Spider-Nuts. Mona. But they voted Battlefield Earth as the worst blockbuster of all time. I mean, the tough part about a list like this is you probably haven't seen too many of these movies because word quickly spread that this is ass, right? So don't go see it. But maybe you've seen some of them, okay?

From 10 to 1, we start with something called Jonah Hex. At number nine, The Dark Tower? I haven't seen that one yet. It's one I've wanted to watch. Way back from 20 and 17. Well, I suppose I shouldn't say way back, but nine years ago. Number eight, the mummy. Yeah, that was.

disappointment. Number seven. Hey, I think I liked that. You think you like? The one is Tom Cruise? Oh, no. Not that one then. The Brennan Frazier ones, those are great.

Yeah, those were very good. Both those guys were in separate movies called The Mummy. Yeah. Well, that's confusing. Well, no, the other ones, it wasn't, the Brendan Fraser ones weren't The Mummy, right? I don't remember. There was a difference.

That's awful confusing. Number seven on the list of the worst block The rock busters of all time would be a movie simply called Super Mario Brothers. That comes back from the year 19 and 93. So I was eight when that movie came out. We watched it as a sleepover. And even at eight years old, we were like, this is terrible. And if you go back and read the making of that movie, just how unprepared they were.

They didn't really have a script. Bob Haskins and John Leguizama once just decided to get drunk and drive the van around the set and crashed it. Orrne broke their wrist. Like nothing about that movie was on the up and up. And it showed if you watch it. Going back, I say your confusion, Ashley. Yeah, it was called the Mummy, the Breden-Frasier one, then the Mummy Returns and the Mummy Tomb of the Dragon.

Yeah, okay. So then Tom Cruise also had a movie series. Yeah, he had one. Or a single movie. And there was one that just came out, which was supposed to be pretty awful, too. Number six on the list of the worst blockbusters of all time, the Fantastic Four. Oh, the one that just came out? No, 20 and 50.

15. I'm sorry, I should include that. I keep forgetting to include that. All the reboots and remade. From the year 20 and 15, Fantastic 4. I accidentally watched the one that just came out. That was a, I think it came out last year. That was when I told you guys about, I went to the movie theater and went into the wrong theater and didn't realize until the movie started. And then I was watching the Fantastic 4 instead of like, I know what you did last summer. Like, all right. I guess I'll just watch this movie. Yeah, that was comfy. Number five from the year 2010, the last airbender. Didn't see it. Four from 2002, The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Three from 2004. Catwoman. Who played Catwoman?

Hallie Berry. Hallie Berry did, huh? She looked great in that cat suit, but that was the only redeeming part of that movie. Number two, 1987. Jaws, the Revenge. I've always wanted to watch that one just because of how awful people say it is. I guess I don't remember.

I don't know the difference between all. They kind of mesh together for me. I still love the first two. And like we mentioned, number one, I guess the biggest disaster, as far as summer blockbusters go, Battlefield Earth. The movie that was panned critically

and I guess fans said the same thing, Waterworld. I really liked Waterworld. Oh. And everyone said how terrible it was. It was way too long. I saw 20 minutes of the sum bitch and I gave up. You liked Waterworld.

I did, yeah. That was kind of a cool idea. But it seemed like it was me and maybe hopefully one of the people that made the movie. I think Kevin Kosser came on and said the movie sucked. Did he really? I mean, didn't that some bitch cost like $7 billion? At the time wasn't a record. It was crazy how much it costs.

I'll be damned. All right, we got to take a break. We'll be back in a few minutes. Let's go back to talking type 2 fun. If you just tuning in, this is a new thing. At least it was for the four of us. Maybe you've already heard. There's a new phrase, a new thing out there called type 2 fun.

You got your regular fun. This is different. Type 2 fun is something that was miserable in the moment. You, maybe you hurt yourself, you embarrassed yourself. you negatively altered your life in one way or another, right? It was terrible in the moment. But now looking back, it really made for a great story. And now you can smile and tell that story.

A lot of text messages came in. A lot of you is out there. You know what it's like to have type 2 fun. Here are some examples. What does this say? Guy pissed his wife off real good one night, Cubby. And she put Vagicil. in his toothpaste.

Oh, dude. Hmm. He said in the moment that was miserable, he says that stuff makes your face completely numb. I would think so. Probably cleared up that yeast infection

he had in there. Oh, my God. Oh, man. I bet that tastes pretty nasty. His wife put vagasil in his toothpaste. But now, you know, he thinks it was kind of cute.

Yeah, some of those pranks. It's kind of like that. Yeah, you kind of got a taste for it after that. Roastmaster Jesus wants to know, is it considered type 2 fun if your wife calls out the wrong name during intercourse? Would that more like be type 3 or 4 fun?

Yeah, it might have to get down the list a little bit. Calling them by the wrong name, huh? I don't, that would take a while, I think. Yeah, I don't know if I would ever. I think that was a good story. Oh, you'd be bothered by that quite a bit? I don't know. I guess I haven't had it happened, but I would think I wouldn't like it.

I don't give a rat's ass what you call me. I don't care what you call me. call me. For the rest of our relationship, I'd have to have her call me that. No, no, no, no, not Josh. Rinaldo. Now you have a new name, at least when you're in the sack. Yeah. Call me by my new character name, Ronaldo. Here's a listener who snapped his arm in half when he was in preschool. Oh, man. He said, it hurt like hell in the moment, but it does now make for a good story because he tried hiding it from his teachers. Also, he must have been doing, he didn't explain this in the text, but he must have been doing something

that could get him in trouble because he tried to hide this broken arm from his teachers. He says it didn't work. It's difficult to hide when a bone is protruding through your skin and blood is everywhere. But I get that as a little kid.

He was effing off to some level. I always thought I was going to be in trouble about everything, so I could definitely see that. This person says they're about to retire from being in the Navy almost 20 years and worked on a flight deck of an aircraft carrier. Awesome. Oh, wow. He said he got blown over.

He fell on the flight deck for everyone around and their mom to see. He was embarrassed at the time, but now he just tells people he tried to fly, but he wouldn't recommend it. Like the jet blast blew him into the, uh, well, God, I mean, I imagine that's difficult. I heard that's so dangerous. I don't care who you are. Yeah. Maybe it was just out there in the middle of the ocean. and the wind was strong enough to blow him.

I think he said it was a jet blast. Oh, it was. Follow-up text, yeah. Hillman Welder Jesus, joining in the conversation on type two fun, which is something that wasn't terribly pleasurable in the moment, but looking back, you can have a laugh. Hillman Welder Jesus when he got hit by a car on his mini bike. I bet.

He didn't explain any further. He didn't explain any further. But, yeah, I bet in the moment, that was terrifying. I want to know more. Concrete firefighter Jesus, he can relate to all this type of conversation. He says, we have a saying in the business when we have bad days. We say to each other, we'll laugh about this in January.

That's how you got to do it. Type 2 fun, a listener says. For me, it was when I got arrested when I was 18. spent 72 hours in the Hennepin County Lockup downtown. It actually turned out to be kind of fun. Made some friends in lockup and read some really good books. You lived a little life. You know, you got some experience under your belt.

Oh, did I? I'm sorry if I made it seem as if this letter came from a he. This is from Tree Care Sheezes. She got arrested for fighting. when she was 18. 72 hours in the line. Yeah, I was just going to say. You must have really whoop somebody's ass.

Or something was going on there. Had some liquor on the breath or something. You got any books you'd like to recommend to anybody who's about ready to spend some time? You read a lot of books, Josh. Anything by Vince Flynn? Vince Flynn? Brad Thor, Mark Graney. Those are the ones I'm into lately.

Now, this I would like to hear more about. This is a listener, ADHD, Jesus. when he was working as a school bus driver. Maybe he still is. I can't be sure. He was working as a school bus driver, and he was receiving death threats from a 12-year-old. No.

No, no, no. That's terrible. What are you doing? What? Oh, man. Like a sixth grader was writing you notes? Fight me, kid. Fight me.

I can't imagine how pissed off I'd be as a parent. Oh, just devastated and embarrassed. I got to go back to the text machine. Maybe he can follow up on this. You were receiving death threats from a 12-year-old. What was his name again? ADHD, Jesus. I'm going to keep an eye out.

Maybe you've got some more explaining to do on that one. How's work today, hon? Oh, another death threat. No, another death threat. Shoot, dang it. Well, I mean, from a child, though. It's funny. I'm terrified.

From a child. Metal muncher, Jesus, says his first day working at the state fair. They're on the trailer, moving barrels. Barrel moving. Wanted to really impress the coworkers by hanging off the side of the trailer. They hit a bump. He fell hanging on to the side of the trailer, hit the road. He said he was being dragged by the trailer because he didn't let go and his shorts got dragged off.

Never heard the head of it. Excuse me, the end of it. And my ass cheeks were scraped up for weeks. Yeah, trying to impress people and something bad happens. That's even worse. 14 years ago, a listener says, I fell off a cliff, got a concussion, snapped his collarbone, and just for the record, this was while I was on a second date with a lady. Was there a third?

Yes. He can proudly say they just celebrated seven years of marriage last month. Oh, that's awesome. Fell off a cliff. Like I said, scrambled his brains and broke his collar. bone on a date. It was the second date. Oh, my God. I don't know if I'd have the balls to ask her out a third time after she saw that.

Yeah, I'm with you on that. Depending on how it happened. I mean, I'm picturing. He might be a very caring person. I'm just picturing that he just clumsily fell off a cliff. There could be circumstances there that I'm not aware of. Stone Mason Jesus said one time he fell off the spoon and cherry at the sculpture garden, broke his leg, landed in the pond and got covered. in goose poop. I'm surprised you out all the way up there.

They take that pretty seriously. Now, again, the subject is type two fun. This is a brand new definition or whatever you want to call it, a brand new phrase where it was anything but fun in the moment, but years

later, you can look back and laugh and it's turned into a great story. Plenty of people made a joke about their past marriages. Plenty of people have texted in saying, hell, my first marriage, my second marriage, you could define it as type 2 fun because I thought it was I thought it was awful. It turned into terrible things, but now I'm okay with it and I can laugh. But here's one in particular. My divorce, this listener says, you can call it type 2 fun.

I wonder why I got married to her and why I didn't see some of the things. And I mean, I think we've all looked back and said, it didn't have to be a marriage. We've all looked back at past relationships. I've asked myself, what the hell was I doing? Yeah, plenty of times. Why did I, why did I choose? Why did I think that was okay? Why did I think?

So anyway, this guy goes on to say, I don't know how I didn't see some of the things, but now that I'm divorced, I'm happy. And he says the fun is hearing about the news. poor bastard who is dating her. Oh, sure. And hearing the troubles that he is going through, the poor bastard that's now dating his ex. I thought of one, and I know I've told you this before,

but when me and the family went to eat at the Mall of America outside of House of Comedy, right? I had a little burger restaurant there, and I fell onto a family's table. Oh, yeah. Ended up having to buy two meals that evening. That's just so great that that happened to you. Well, the worst part is, you know, it's like when you're falling off a bike or something and it's in slow motion,

that's what kept happening to me. And I thought, well, there's no way I'm going to fall on this family's table. And what felt like minutes went by and I couldn't catch my footing. So I'm tripping over this curved stair landed right on top of them. I can't remember. Remind us what the age demographic or the people at the table was. It was like a family with kids or anything. Boy, to be honest, like I kind of had tunnel vision.

I'm sure. I was so embarrassed. It was certainly, they weren't young kids. So at least preteens to teenagers. And I think there's maybe three kids and two parents. Just picture of some little kids chocolate milk go flying. Mommy. Everybody, yeah, everybody including myself, was like, you have got to be kidding me.

And I thought my kids are older now, but they were very young at the time. I thought they were going to be incredibly embarrassed. That's awesome. Want nothing to do with me, but they loved it. I only wish I would have been there. Yeah, I wish you were there, too. I wish there's camera footage of that. That was one of the dumbest I've ever felt in my entire life.

So back to this texter who said what he said about his ex. You know, at the time, he didn't know what he was doing. It was miserable. This woman that he married, it turned out miserable. But it's type two fun for him now because he can look back and laugh. And he's enjoying watching the new guy that's dating her. He's enjoying watching that guy struggle. And that brings up one of my favorite stories about a pal of mine who was full-on involved with a crazy lady.

I mean, this was real, real bad. And he finally, you know how that stuff goes. You know, they broke up, they got back together, broke up, got back together. Finally, he was able to rid himself of this gal. The problem is they had a child together. So, you know, he had to still share custody. So this woman he was dating and made a baby with, she got a new boyfriend. And unfortunately, the new boyfriend took on that real childish role of, oh, you're my girlfriend's ex.

I have to hate you. Right? So mature. Unfortunately, the new guy, she started dating was one of the one. of those immature dicks that just because you were there before me, I'm going to be a dick to you. I'm going to give you attitude every time I see you. I'm going to eyeball you every time I see you. And my buddy finally pulled this guy aside and said, you know, I know you want to play this tough guy, you know, I'm with her now role. But he said, look into my eyes right now. I'm telling you.

He said, bro, you're going to regret this. You're going to regret being with her. I know you don't. I'm just warning you. It's not going to turn out good. And the guy, you know, F you, bitch, whatever, you know, you're just pissed off because I'm with her. And the guy said, okay, I'm just telling you. I don't know.

Six months later, it was like straight out of a movie. Six months later, 10 p.m. pouring rain. And my buddy, doorbell rings at his house. And he's like, well, who the hell is ringing my doorbell at 10 p.m. on a rainy night? He flips on the outside light.

Who's standing there with a miserable look on his face? That friggin' boyfriend who's dating his ex. There's no way. And he opens the door and the guy says, I just wanted to tell you, bro, you were right. I was wrong. And will you help me? Wow.

And he said, come on. on in and he was willing to give the guy a little help on the subject. This is a good question. So type 2 fun when you have a good memory of something that was miserable while happening. This person says, what do you call fun that is absolutely awesome in the moment? But then six months later, you totally regret. Like type 2 remorse?

Yeah. Is that what we call that? I have quite a bit of that. Yeah. Type 1 remorse. I mean, that's just straight up remorse. You had a great time, but then you look back and go, oh, my God. I've had that where I thought, why did I or we think that was funny in the time?

Why was that a good time? Before we get out of here, do you want to go back to ADD Jesus, who texted in and said when he was a bus driver, he got death threats from a 12-year-old? Yeah, can we please? I love this. He's got further explanation on this. So he said there was this little girl who wouldn't sit down. You didn't picture that, did you?

That's awesome. It makes it cool. Little girl who wouldn't sit. sit down on the bus. So I told her, you know, sit down and shut up. Or come sit up front. You know, you're in trouble. I'm in charge.

I'm the bus driver. Come sit up front. He said the little girl threw a full on tantrum. And after about a half hour, she turns to me and says, if you don't let me off the bus right now, I'll bring a gun to school tomorrow and shoot you. Oh. What? I would let her out.

nowadays it's very possible. Right. He said it scared me at the time. But I looked this kid in the eye and said, you know, okay, great. Go ahead, shoot me. I can get some paid time off. She looked deflated, sat down quietly. She was arrested the next day for terroristic threats.

Wow. He said the cops laughed at his line about getting some paid time off. he said so yeah it's something that was very concerning in the moment but it's a good story now and he said nowadays I'm not a school bus driver I am an electrician oh he just opened himself up for some crap oh no did you bring up some sort of trade other trades are going to check you I shouldn't have even mentioned that sorry ADD Jesus I shouldn't have said you were an electrician now because Josh just right all the electrician jokes are going to come pouring in now did you know that there's There's rivalries amongst electricians?

Tell me about it. Yesterday. I don't know this. Commercial versus what can I think of the other name? Private homeowners. Oh, residential? Residential, thank you. Commercial versus residential electricians.

I didn't know there. I thought, you know, they have rivalry with pipe fitters or, you know, something like that. But instead, within the electrician community, there's rivalries. Electricians have a problem with everybody. Oh, they do? They're just a problem. You're saying they're a problem? Yeah.

Electricians? Yep. See, the electrician folks that I know are the most level-headed, wonderful, reasonable type of people. With the exception of electrician, Jesus, I told me. Well, I don't know him. Yeah, I don't know him. My buddies.

Is there something wrong with electric? Probably the funniest guy I've ever met. My two electrician buddies, they're just terrific. Here we go. Residential electricians are the only real electricians. Wait, are the only commercial ones. Okay, commercial ones just sit there with their fingers up their butts, milking the clock until the end of the day.

Yeah, there's a lot of vitriol between. I had no idea. That was such a thing. You really don't like electricians very much, Ashley, because a few of them have texted in that they're saying they could make sure your lights are out by noon today. Sorry, it's because my dad, I have to stand by him. He's a car. He's been a carpenter's whole life.

He hates sparkies. Carpenter's versus. Everybody calls them. We don't want any problems. And don't we have a whole rule about that or a set of rules for our booze crews, which is already tomorrow night? Let's be adults about this. It's gotten to the point now where we have a polka version of our Boos Cruise theme song. Oh, I'm so sight.

Sensual. Yes, very sensual. I was just going to ask, I mean, who knows what direction we go tomorrow, but you're promising us some promising, is the word. You're promising us some R and B? We want folks to get little sexed up. Going to lick you up and down. Tile Jesus, he brings up a stereotype. I've heard many times about electricians.

Couldn't tell if it's true. Talk to me. He said the only rivalry that electricians really have is with a broom. Have you guys heard that too? Yeah. I suppose your dad's probably mentioned that, huh? Yes. Because they don't clean up.

That's very, very well known. There's wire housing everywhere. I fend love it. That's a great way to. close her out today cubby happy 13th to kiley from keystone light jesus happy dirtieth 30th to sarah from all panic at the disco she's and happy birthday to cabinet builder jesus and love it texas from his better half 93x ah air conditioning the love of my life uh-oh that doesn't sound good what's going on habs podcasters we're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be

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