93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Sunshine Guilt

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

Carmen Electralux. Aqua dumps. Everything you wanna know about sleep shaming. Originally aired Wednesday, July 15, 2026. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust Standard Heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time. Get $75 off your first service or tune-up. And while you're at it, mention 93X.

Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93X half-assed morning show. Ninety-three. The deal. Here's the frigging deal. There you are. Here we are. Let's try and get something done.

And we'll do it together. Hopefully it'll turn into something we can be proud of. Welcome to the half-ass morning show. Welcome to the 93X half-ass morning show. Jesus, Balls. She's the middle of July already. I just look at the calendar company. I had forgotten exactly where we were at,

and we've reached the dead center at July. Yeah, I heard you earlier going, wait, is it June or July? I was talking to myself, wasn't it? You reminded me of when you're in school, right? In summertime, you have no idea what day it is, what month it is. You're completely oblivious. You caught me talking to myself. Yeah, I heard that.

I asked myself. Busted. Is it June or is it, of course, this ungodly run of, terrible hot weather is going to continue to test our patients for a few more days. You know, up until yesterday, I never knew there was so much to be anxious about in the summertime. But then yesterday we had a conversation about barbecue anxiety. If you missed it and you're not familiar, that's where grilling a damn burger get some people so nervous that they can't operate. They're afraid that they'll cook the burger incorrectly.

They're afraid that they will be judged by others on the way they cook. There are certain things in life where you're judged, perhaps unfairly. Maybe like you're tasting movies, your taste in music. Certainly grilling is one of those. A lot of people have opinions on it, on how it should be done. Right. And you look down. I shouldn't say you as in everybody, but there's folks out there that look down on others who don't know how to grill very well.

Right. That's burger. How did I say it? Barbecue. Barbecue anxiety. Right. Okay. So we talked about that yesterday. Now, how about this? Do any of you find yourselves battling with what they call here Sunshine Guilt? Now, I was familiar with this, how should I say it? I was familiar with this state of mind. The name Sunshine Guilt, I hadn't heard that yet, but I've heard of the overall state of mind where the sunny, summer weather. I mean, don't, don't focus too much on what we're dealing with exactly right now, because this is too hot for almost any living thing. I'm just talking about general normal summer weather. The idea is the sunny weather makes it so you're not, it makes it so if you're not outdoors constantly taking advantage of the weather, you feel guilty and fat and ugly and you can't

get over it. Is this bothering anybody, the sunshine guilt? I feel that way. all the time. I tell you guys that that I like, if it's like a rainy day or a cloudy day in the summer, I usually mention something like, ah, nice. Now I won't feel bad about not going outside. Yeah, I've heard you say that. Okay. Definitely. So you are saying this is something that you deal with quite often. Yeah, I hate this feeling. Sunshine guilt. I definitely felt it when I was younger. Now that I'm in my 40s, early 40s, I don't care at all. I'm fine just staying inside. Is that right? Yeah. I still feel it, even though I've resigned myself. And Embraced being an avid endorsement, I just realized that's probably not going to change.

But there's plenty of times where it's a beautiful day and I think I probably should at least go pull some weeds or do something outdoors. Take a breath of fresh air. And as I told you, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. Pull some weeds. Or do something. I don't have any hobbies. That's the worst. What do you like to do?

I don't know. Pull weeds. Computer stuff, I guess. It reminds me of my late mother. That was her thing. Outside in the garden. pulling weeds. Oh, we have so many.

For God's sake. Anyway, I got to get some, I got to bring in some reinforcements or something. It's ridiculous. You were saying? But so my vitamin D was so low, like I had to have another doctor's appointment yesterday. The doctor's like, I mean, my God. Let's just say, I think the number was 40. If you're 40 or below, you're in trouble, I'm under 20.

So, like, I've taken a supplement. I've decided I'm going to go outside every once in a while. Yeah, who would have thought if you wear a hoodie everywhere and you never go outside, it's going to affect your health in one way or the other. The vitamin D. You've had multiple doctor's appointments. It's funny because I know someone else who is currently in some bizarre battle with their vitamin D levels. You're not the only victim of the vitamin D shortage.

I've never thought of vitamin D in my entire life. Why would anybody think about such a thing? Until the results come back and it's like all red, there's some sort of siren going off. Yeah. And she's like, I need to see you again. I know somebody else who's constantly on the phone, on the telephone with their doctor over their minute, minuscule vitamin D levels. Only couches pull out Jesus. I wish I could do this. He said, just become addicted to running. You're outside all the time. Running. I can't run. I mean, I... Please, are you nuts? I walk on the treadmill every day and maybe a decent pace. But to be honest, that's just to stimulate. my bowels, so it's not even really an exercise motivation.

There's no way I can run. I ran around Lake Harriet once, but that's because I had two and a half movie theater sized boxes of Mike and Ike's. I remember that. You told us not that long ago about your Mike and Ike overdose. Yeah. I mean, honestly, my body was shaking. I thought it was going to throw up.

I thought I've got all this energy. I got to do something. And I used to walk that lake every day when I lived in Minneapolis, and I couldn't handle it. I had to run. Okay, here are the top 10 vitamin D jokes that have been sent to our text machine in the last 45 seconds. Oh, good. I should have predicted that was going to have. All right. These are the top 10 vitamin D jokes that have hit our text machine in the last, and now 60 seconds. Josh, just ask your mother how to get more D. I give my wife plenty of vitamin D. Josh, I make sure your mom gets plenty of vitamin D. Josh's mom thinks about vitamin D. Josh's mom thinks about vitamin D.

Um, that, okay, maybe the top five. Okay, I lied. There isn't a top tip of it. But that's the top five. Honestly, that happened in 60 seconds. It's pretty quick. It is. Okay, quick jokes.

He's got a quick joke. I just was thinking, ah, geez, here we go. Quick jokes. Okay, here they are. I usually am pretty quick when I take on Josh's mom. Okay, there's only one. Only one is coming. Runs in the dark Jesus said,

You do the treadmill already, run, bitch. Well, I can't. My treadmill is awful. As a matter of fact, I've got to get a new one. It's terrible. I've had it 12 years. It cost me $300. It lasted longer than I would have thought.

But even if I had one that worked perfectly well, I can't run. You're not going to run. I'm not built for that. No, your feet aren't meant for running. Nope. I've got big block feet. I'm built for comfort, not for speed. Sunshine guilt is the latest, I guess, issue.

Well, you know why people have it. Why is that? Like up at the crack of dawn, Jesus. This is why. Because people give you sunshine shame. Yeah, they do. That's why you get the sunshine guilt. Talk to me about sunshine shame.

Just like grilling, I think if nobody really ripped you for not going outside on a sunny day, you know, if you had no interest, you wouldn't be anxious about it. But that is one of those things. Like, I can't believe. Or you sleep too long. Or you don't get enough sleep. I've never had any encounters with sunshine guilt or sunny. shine shame. It's something that never entered my mind. What about with the boat?

Because I've heard you say, ah, it's going to be a nice day. We should probably take the boat out. I don't know if I've said that, but people have certainly said that to me. But you mentioned the sleep Nazis. Yes, that's a completely different animal. And I have been tortured my entire life by

sleep Nazis, and I hate each and every one of them. The people, oh, you're just waking up, huh? Or they're the people that'll call you extra early on the weekend. And when you do this, because you think it's an emergency, of course. Why the hell else is my phone ringing at 7 o'clock on a Saturday morning? So you answer out of fear, and they say this.

Well, good morning, sunshine. Just waking up, huh? I've been up for an hour and a half. Sunshine guilt, sunshine shame, not familiar. Sleep Nazis, absolutely. Somebody started a text chain at like 9 a.m. on a Sunday once. I remember you kind of bitched everybody else. I'm telling you.

I got one particular pal, and everybody in my friend group knows who the problem is, and we have said everything we can think of to this person to try to straighten them out, and they won't correct the problem. They think it's absolutely fine to text. It's a texting thing. Do they live here? Yeah. Okay, because I get a couple people that I'll apologize, like, I forgot about the time zone.

Nothing like that. It's a mental illness. of some sort. We have told them over and over and over again. Stop. It's not a telephone call thing, which I'm sure you're not surprised by because almost no one makes a regular telephone call anymore. This is a text thing. They think it's completely fine. 5 a.m. 6 a.m. sending out a text, a group text with a question that could easily be answered at a reasonable hour. And we're going to have to end up killing this guy. I scheduled text now just for that reason.

So I don't forget because I'll think, geez, I should probably wait till this time to text someone. So in order not to forget sending a text, I probably should send. I'll schedule it. We're going to beat this guy up. We're going to have to. Do you guys don't have your phones on silent or do not disturb? I do, yeah.

I try. But sometimes I fail at that. But it doesn't matter. I mean, sometimes just the light little, you know, can wake you up. At 5 o'clock, 6 o'clock on a Saturday? Sometimes that can even roll me out of bed. So anyway, try to make it through the sunshine guilt. Try to make it through the barbecue anxiety.

If you can do that, you'll end up having a terrific summer. I think, you know, people know me well enough now in my life that they don't even say, hey, you know, you should go outside. It doesn't happen much anymore. When we were kids, I mean, your parents would send you outside all day long. What is this now? Oh, God. Yeah, see, a lot of you had to deal with sleep Nazis growing up.

And even today in your adult life, medical device Jesus said his old man was a sleep Nazi. And he said, if dad's listening right now, he can eat my balls. Because one summer, he says, my dad made a rule. This is when I was in high school, says medical device Jesus, and I had to leave the house by 8 a.m. because he hated my brother and I sleeping in. F you dad is the message from medical device Jesus. My folks weren't like that, but I had friends who just,

I don't know, that's what got them off. Was there the guy that woke up before you did? And I just, I've controlled myself so far, Josh. But one day I think I'm going to wrap my hands around their throats. And they may know, how do I say? say this. There may be no stopping me at that point. They're all dead. Just shut up. You get up earlier than

I do on a Saturday and a Sunday. Congratulations. You're the all-time champion. All right, what about this? Same dong as my twin brother, Jesus. Said, what time is a reasonable time on the weekend to get a text message? Noon. Noon? Holy cow. Even on a Saturday?

Yeah. Why? What needs to be talked about before noon? I usually wait till 10 or 11. So noon you're saying, for you, for you is to or anything before noon is to work. Anything before noon is unnecessary. I'm not saying it's too early. It's just unnecessary. I'm obviously up by noon on a Saturday.

Not that it's any of your business sleep, Nazis. But I'm obviously awake by noon. Unless something drastic is happening, unless something important needs to be dealt with, why are we texting each other before noon? No reason for it. Josh is an early riser. But you know what I love about Josh? He doesn't drag anybody else into his nightmare.

And what I mean by, I know, it's confusing. Some of you might be saying, well, wait a minute, don't you guys get up at 3.30, 4 o'clock in the morning for work? Of course we do. I'm talking about on off days. Now, Josh, even on Saturdays and Sundays, is awake at what time? This just, I almost vomit every time I hear this answer. I don't want to say it, that.

What are you mad at me? Why would I be mad at you? All right. It bothers me that you can't escape this, but you're awake on a Saturday at what? Four o'clock in the morning? Usually four, yeah. Geez, dude. I'm awake at like seven and I thought that was bad.

Yeah, same thing, actually. I mean, really, I think you need treatment. Yeah, you need to figure out of sleep. But what's beautiful about it is you don't try to drag any of us into your nightmare. Yeah, I didn't even know that you did that. You didn't know that he got up at 4 o'clock? I thought it was a little bit later than that. I didn't know it was that early.

He's nuts. Yeah, sometimes it'll be a little later, but Saturday's especially, I'll still get up. That's such a dad thing to do. My dad was always up at that time whenever I would wake up on weekends. I'm like, what are you doing? Except he would be napping usually at like seven, seven to eight. I would be in an asylum. My dad was the same way.

I'd come down and he'd be sitting there at the kitchen table, drinking his coffee, smoking his cigarettes, and reading the paper every Saturday or Sunday morning. I like that he got the heaters out right away. Oh, I don't think he ever put him away until he quit. That was the first thing I always heard from my old man's bedroom. was the click click of the lighter that's when i knew he was awake click click he was burning one let's see disposable lighter repairman jesus said if you need to get a hold of me on a weekend before noon i expect an email asking if it's okay to text me early and in that text you need to ask me

if it's okay to call me this early uh yeah i'll sometimes i'll you guys may have noticed i'll email you guys something that could have been a text just to make sure it doesn't disturb you or something Oh, man. Yeah. I, dude, I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you do it. If I found myself accidentally is in the word. If I found myself automatically just springing out of bed at 4 o'clock in the morning on Saturdays and Sundays, I would be, I wouldn't be here right now. I would take Z-Quil to go back to bed. I would definitely be taking like some medicine. What is Z-Quil? If you don't know, you can't afford. But it's just for sleep. Oh, really? I would be in a padded room right now. Yeah.

Tearing my eyes out. They'd have to put, like, rex specs on my face to keep me from tearing my eyes out of my skull. Rex specs. Yeah. I always wanted those. No, you didn't. Yeah, honestly, I thought they were kind of nerdy, cool, you know? Oh, man.

When I was a kid, I thought they were just, I don't know, there was something about them. They're strapped to your head, Dana. Yeah, I know. They're not falling off. Oh, and the kids that wore them. got ripped mercilessly. I never saw it in person. Oh, you didn't?

No. We had a couple guys of warm and, oh, did they get their balls busted? Peg Legg Sheez says his, her parents never let her sleep in growing up. The famous quote they would use, she said, is, I love this. It just probably shows how old your parents are or maybe they're gone now. Peg Leg Sheez's parents would say, who do you think you are, Elvis? up all night and you need to sleep all day? Oh, I would just keep up.

I would keep, Josh, I think, maybe a handful of my own feces at my bedside, right? And then I would throw it at my parents if they ever walked in and said something like that to me. I think my parents wish I would have slept in on the weekends when I was a kid. I would wake them up in the morning. We used to wake up our parents, too, on some days. Oh, my God. I mean, when you're a little kid in the summer, we would. Yeah, like elementary school age, for sure.

Yeah, I mean, when I was a little kid, I didn't know any better. But by the time I was a fourth grader, I was sleeping until 11 o'clock noon. Yeah, no, never was for me. I loved it. I fend loved it. I slept until 9 the other couple weeks ago on a Saturday. My wife is concerned about me. God, I'm glad I don't have those problems. My parents would always say, my dad kind of motivated me in a way.

I thought it was cool. Like, you know, he would say, you know, in the military, in the Army, wasn't the Army, where they do more before 9 a.m. than most people do all day. Yeah. And I thought, well, the Army guys really get up that early? I thought that was awesome. I thought, well, shoot, I want to get up that early. I still think about that.

I like getting stuff done, you know, kind of wiping it out early. Yeah, that is a nice feeling. I do like that. I have no interest. You guys are good sleepers, though. I wish I stay down. I see, if I nap as long as you guys do, I don't know if it's still the same.

Ashley, obviously, your life has changed quite a bit. I wish it was the same. It's for like one day. It's sexual to me, really. Do you still nap like three hours a day? Two and a half? Two and a half? Yeah.

Sometimes I hit three. Do you really? Do you ever feel miserable afterwards? A little bit. But I don't care. I didn't nap enough when I could have napped. I should have napped. Oh, you have nap regret now?

And I napped a lot. I was like you, Nick. I was napping like three, four hours a day. It was insane. But now, now I'm. I can no longer nap. Well, you effed up, didn't you? Yeah.

That's okay. Question. Probably should be sleeping like that. Josh. Josh has a question. Everybody question. Yes. Yeah. So when you nap, now usually I try.

Oh. And so I can never go more than like half hour, maybe an hour on a good day. I'm telling you, it's because you're nuts. I think that's probably. Yeah. Your mind doesn't allow you to rest. I'm truly convinced of that. The nuts part?

Yeah. Okay, that part hurts my feeling. But the second part, you might be on to something. Yeah. So, but do you guys? Now this is gross. Do you drool like crazy when you take a nap? Sometimes. Yeah, I do. Definitely. And I always feel miserable if I go much more than a half hour.

I'm the same way, Josh. And I feel like I put on about 40 pounds. What? What about the 40 pounds? I bed magnets. I just can't move. I'm the most exhausted. When you wake up from 30 minutes, again, my stomach just turns over when I hear the way some of you live. Even after a 30-minute nap, you feel. No, if I go more than that. If you go more than a third.

Yeah, if I'm like an hour or something. You feel like a big fat slob that can't even get out of bed? I feel miserable. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Jesus. The psychosis? Probably, yeah. It's the mental illness.

Is it the psychosis? If you and I would have maybe become roommates when we were in our 20s, oh, I could have taught you so many things. Could have taught you so many things. But that's how it goes. All right, well, how about this? Well, let's go this angle now. We were talking about.

sleep Nazi bastards who always love to tell you just how early they jumped out the rack because they're so busy I mentioned I have a friend and he's become an enemy not only for me personally

but damn near every swinging D in our pal group because he's texting meaningless garbage at 5, 6 a.m. on weekends because he's also insane and just can't rest. How about this? How about we go this route? Let's see who has the high score. How many group chats are you currently in?

Who wants to go for the high score? I'm sure I'm on the low end. I almost never am in a group chat. The only two I'm ever in are like one with the family, about like we're going to get together and do this. At 4.30 in the morning on a Saturday? Yeah, usually. Yeah.

I make sure everybody's awake. Gotta be productive. Right. And with you guys. Oh, okay. Usually like Brad Ryder will send something snarky. So, you know, it's like that or Randy will. Yeah, they think they're funny.

They do. I feel bad, but nobody replies. That's my favorite. I don't even acknowledge it. Am I missing out on something? Brad and Randy send jokes? Oh, you're part of those. Yeah.

You don't respond either. Oh, I'm not terribly attentive. I never noticed that that Brad, writer, and Randy Schaber try to send jokes and then nobody sends a response? Yeah. Very frequent. I'll have to keep a closer eye on that.

So you're saying you've got a family thing and a work thing. Yeah, that's about it. And I don't really keep them. They're infrequent. It's not like a ton. Yeah. You know, I have friends that are, they're maintained. It's like fantasy football for folks that have five, six teams.

They're maintaining all these group chats. And I get jealous. Like, how do you have so many friends where they're, they'll be sitting there texting and their phone's going insane. I have a lot of group chats right now, but that's just because... Give us a number. I'd say like 10, 15, but a lot of it is like different family member group chats. It's not all, it's not friends for the most part.

Do you have any where there's just one friend that you leave out? Like there's two? Like maybe there's one, everybody texts something and everybody's getting along and then there's a second one where you immediately text and say, what a douchebag. Sidebar? No, that's terrible. There's probably, I'm probably left out of one of these group chats. They're talking about me.

That's my fear too. I can't say for sure. You have a fear of what? The same thing. I have a fear of that too. Well, what if now my family has taken me out and they're ripping me about something? That's what they do. I can't say for sure because I don't pay terribly close attention.

But I'm aware of the fact that I am in two regular group chats. And one of them is the work chat that we all share. And the other is the other members. of the sons of the American Legion at Wysetta's. I'm a member of the sons of the American Legion, and we have meetings and things like that. So I'm part of, so I would say the answer is two. What is the common answer?

The most popular answer, I guess, is zero here, according to this survey. That surprises me that zero, it seems like, you know, with work, a lot of people have a work group chat. And even if you don't start a group chat, you get roped into one somehow. I thought that somebody, I thought seven. Luck Wisconsin, Jesus said seven.

He must be an important guy. That's what I thought. And I'm assuming he still is. The highest one I'm seeing via text here, 40? Oh, that's too many. That's a second job. Jesus balls, 40. Oh, maybe he's a drug dealer. Oh, that could be it.

Bearded Daddy Jesus. He said 40, didn't he? Yeah. Hey, dude, are you a drug dealer? Get back to us. Box tossing Jesus said he's in a group. chat that regularly makes fun of me. Of you? Of you?

Yeah, I guess so. Hey, if you have some criticisms, I'm willing to improve. I'll listen to you, whatever you got to say. I want to do better. Do you guys have this? I'm kind of going back to the early texters. Some of my friends, I think they like that I get up early because on days they have to for work or a trip.

Like I just had one this morning. And they're not used to being up that early. They'll text because then there's some camaraderie like, I know at least this guy's up. Oh, for sure. I get that all the time. Yeah, during the week. They wake up early and a feeling of loneliness overwhelms them.

And they know, okay, I know one guy I can chat with. And that would be you, Josh. Okay. It happens often. You're like a little lifesaver character. They feel like, hey, this sucks. But at least I know one other guy that's up at this time. Yeah, but then it throws you off when you see their name on your phone.

You're like, oh, no, oh, no, something's wrong. Oh, they're just up at four for the first time of their life. One of our listeners says, I'm involved in a group chat, group chat right now. It's me, it's Josh's mom, and it's a bunch of other dudes' numbers I don't recognize. He doesn't recognize any of the other numbers. That is annoying when you get roped into a group chat,

and you know, like, one person in there and there's a bunch of other unknown numbers, and they're all throwing out inside jokes that you don't get. That's frustrating. Classic country, Jesus said. He's in a group text with his. kids and he's the only one that contributes to him. Yeah, the kids don't want to get involved.

Yeah, you know what? The one with our family, there's usually one person that's just never never responds. The most popular answer is zero group chats. 35% of people have none of that happening in their life. And then you got some who go this way,

some who go that way. Seven percent of people say they don't know. I'm aware of two. Maybe there's more, but I guess I don't. I don't automatically know for sure that I'm in a group chat, but I'm not that familiar with the cellular telephone just yet. The most popular answer is zero.

Other duties assigned she says that her boss started texting them in the middle of the night and weekend, so she replies at 4 a.m. out of spite. Why is an effing boss, he's messing around texting people in the middle of the night? That's not right. I thought there were rules against that. There are. There should be rules. Is there?

Are there a rule? Maybe not here. What are the rules? Certainly other countries. What are the frigging? Outside of work, you're not supposed to get tax or whatever. That sucks. Totally sucks.

Local 34 Jesus had group chats for golf outings, and that's it. Golf outings? Well, there you go. There's some busy people out there. 20, 30 effing group chats. You just finger blasting that phone. 24 hours a day. What else is going on?

She's Wednesday. That means come 7.30. Let's see if Randy and Brad got any decent jokes. They save him for text. You guys say the ones via the text machine go nowhere. Oh, I didn't say that. We'll see if they got any of the deal. Actually pointed out that no one responds, and that's true.

Sometimes I'll forget. I do feel bad because, you know, they get left hanging. Yeah, I feel bad. It's been too long. What I remember, it's like, yeah, exactly, it's too late. Well, before we- Hey, it's Creed Eve, everybody. Oh, happy Creed Eve to all those are celebrated.

Creed Eve. Today is Creed Eve. Tomorrow's the night. Oh, my damn. Big night. Our promotions department came in here yesterday, kind of telling us about what's going on. Sounds like it's going to be great for those that show up.

If you go to that Creed show tomorrow night, this is what I understand. You mentioned our promotion staff came in to the, the studio yesterday after we got off the air and kind of gave us the rundown as to what's happening tomorrow night at the Half-Ass Morning Show Summer Bash starring Creed. If you're going to that show tomorrow night and you want to see how the big shots live, find us, find the Half-Fast Morning Show. Really?

We're going to be living large. They're saying this and that about VIP this. This and that? They're saying couches. What the? If there's a couch, I'm taking a nap. I'm taking a nap, guys. They said something.

Again, I have a hard time paying attention. mention when folks try to talk to us past 9 a.m. You know that, Josh. Yes. But our promotion staff is a little different. I'll listen to the promotion staff with way more detail than I will, like some sales schmuck who wanders in here. So, again, I don't have all the information,

but they were saying VIP this, MVP that, couches, and exclusive this and that. You want to see where the big shots operate? Find us tomorrow night. And will you be allowed to join us? us, no. We are going to be in a like a very exclusive, because they love us over there at Creed. Creed loves us. Yeah, I'm sure they're very familiar with us. We got to take a friggin' great. You are a terrific crowd. And when we come back, we'll hit up that stupid news here on the

Wednesday edition. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust standard heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time. Get $75 off your first service or tune-up. And while you're added, mention 93x.

Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialke Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to bealkylaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Hey, I'm Chris Van Fleet. Go behind the scenes and beyond the headlines with the biggest names in pro wrestling and beyond. Jeff Jarrett, great to see you. In this business,

The story behind the scenes. So much more entertaining than what you see on camera. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman. Mr. Heyman. You are a master at the little things. That's how you turn good into great. What does it take to achieve greatness? Whatever it takes I'm willing to do.

That's an Emmy winning performance. How about it? Insight with Chris Van Fleet. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. I almost forgot, Covey. What's that? Got a couple of text messages here.

I think you might be interested in. We were talking about, oh, sleep. How late you might sleep on a weekend? Do you take a nap? Do you have bastards in your life that bust your chops about when you wake up? You know, the sleep Nazis, this and that. We had a conversation on sleep. What does this say?

A couple of the text messages have come in. Oh, this is about these texts involve. parents who would guilt-trip you if you slept too much, if you slept in too late. So this one says now, Oh, yeah. My dad would wake me up at 6.30 on the weekends so we could sit together and watch Bob Villa at 7 a.m. Did I say the name correctly? Bob Villa, Villa?

Wasn't he some kind of a home repair? Yeah, this old house? Okay. I loved that show. I was hoping you'd be familiar with it. I think that's funny that his name comes up. I just like saw it. Did he die?

Is he? I hope not. Oh, no. I guess I'm not sure. Maybe he did. But I just saw it like Channel 5 just did something on his company the other day. His dad would wake him up at 6.30 on the weekend. So at 7 a.m.

They could watch Bob Villa. I always said Vila. That's what I thought it was pronounced. But yeah, he's still alive. He's great. You liked his style? Yeah, that was a good show. We used to watch that.

Big Toe Jesus also text. in. He said his dad would wake him up early on the weekends. God, help us. And he would always say, get your ass up. You're not staying in bed all day. People die

in bed all the time. I mean, the man's not wrong. People die outside of bed, too. And Big Toe Jesus says, now that I'm older, that doesn't sound so bad. Yeah, if you have to go, that wouldn't be too bad. Right there in your own bed.

Here's a listener texted in. Bob Via was on a locally produced show called Home Time. Okay, I'll go along with it. We've got a Bob Villa Villa Vaya fan out there. He was on a locally produced show at one point or another. Home time. Appreciate your text message. Now we know a little bit more about the man.

All right, let's start things off. As far as today's stupid news report goes, let's start things off with something special. This is. Hell, I didn't know a guy could go to jail for this. Oh, wait, no. Okay, I have to correct myself. He was out of doors. So that's why this guy was hauled off to the local jailhouse.

I'm going to go ahead and say that doing something like this and the privacy of your own home is still allowed. Here's what happened. And tempting. Tempting. keep that in mind. Josh said he's tempted. Here's what happened. Dude, he opted and had sex with a vacuum cleaner. He did.

Can't say I haven't thought about it. I don't have the girth, I think, to make it worth it, but it's crossed my mind once or twice. Like a hot dog in the hallway? Yeah, pretty much. You never put your pecker in the vacuum cleaner hose? No, I mean, there's been a dry spell or two where I thought. You never did as a kid. You never put your pecker in the vacuum cleaner hose. Look at you, you temptress.

Sitting over there just. waiting for me. Josh's got a wig on it. Oh, take the lipstick. Nope, never did. Don't have the courage. It sounds like you may have. You know, when you put those glasses on, you kind of look like a naughty librarian.

That's what I said to my vacuum cleaner hose. Not only did I put a wig on it, I put a pair of glasses on it. A dude down in the garbage far southeastern. A dude was arrested. And then he was also, he also had to face criminal charges at the county courthouse. He was pile driving a damn vacuum cleaner hose. And like I said, he was out of doors where little kids and old ladies could see him. And witnesses said he was really giving her hell with that vacuum hose just pumping back and forth like a bastard.

The dude with the Electrolux. Wow. That was huge. That was bad. That came out of nowhere. I don't understand. You got to stop resting your neck on the microphone. It's unbelievable how every guttural noise, we have to.

What I don't understand is, in case you can't tell in our listening audience, a lot of times we have to absolutely scream into these microphones to get them to work. But yet at the same time, there's a microphone or two in these studios that can pick up blood vessels. cruising around your neck. They can pick up arteries expanding back and forth. It's the weirdest effing thing. It's almost like the place is haunted. Well, what happens, you know, as soon as like a new sound is made in a microphone,

it kills the rest of them because they're compressed to heck. So that's pretty much what happens. All right. So dude was putting his little pecker in and out of the vacuum cleaner hose. He goes by the name of... Kevin, and by damn, he's 51 years old acting like this. He's looking at charges for indecent exposure. He'll be on probation for a smooth year.

Again, in the privacy of his own home. Fair enough. But he was doing this outdoors, broad daylight. Josh, he also has to go ahead and take part in what they call here a, quote, psychosexual evaluation. You know what, Cubby? What? Well, not you.

You're okay. But the rest of us, I think a lot of us should sit down and take a psychosexual evaluation. It would be fun to see which of us would pass and which of us would fail. Oh, I'm crazy, baby. I'll rock your world in the bedroom and only the bedroom. With my shirt on? And my socks on. You think maybe you would break the sexual, I'll get there.

You think maybe you would bust the psychosexual evaluation machine? That's right. You know what? I don't know about that. I think that it, like, you're extreme the other way. They might be like, yeah, you're, something's not right here because you, like, because you're like too. Boring. Yeah, I was going to say prude about it. Maybe I couldn't think of the right word.

Ashley, that was complete sarcasm, the idea that Josh would break the psychosexual evaluation. We all know the dude is, yeah. Yeah, I know, but, you know, because like they might think, I don't know, they might think you're, a little weird, Nick, like you're a little far out there because of some things that you've shared with us before. Well, yeah. But Josh would be like the complete opposite. Yeah, they would be concerned about both of you. I'm a gentle, caring lover.

But stop it with the text. I am not a boner machine. I don't know how many times a man has to defend himself on the subject. I don't know how I get that reputation. If we've got time, right? I mean, what is it? 630? You know, what do we do? Josh has his news report. And then we'll talk some sports with Randy Shaver and Bradra.

And then later on, I don't think we have anything going on past like 815, right? I think we're wide open. You younger people who know how to run the Internet. Maybe you can find us between now and 815. Maybe you can find us some level of psychosexual evaluation exam. Let's see where we can go with that. If it doesn't happen, there will be consequences. I've had some experiences.

You've had some experiences. What might surprise you? psychosexual experiences? Oh, I'm a psycho. I'll go nuts on your privates. With my privates. Well, here, I'll tell you what, via text, a lot of people have consummated with a vacuum cleaner

at one point or another. Yeah, they have. So back to the original offense, which was a grown man slamming his rod in and out of a vacuum cleaner hose in broad daylight out in the neighborhood. It says here, oh, Christ, yeah.

This maybe is why the sexual evaluation exam that he's up against. This might be why it's a psychosexual evaluation and not just a general sexual evaluation. He was doing this out front the house of a female relative. Yuck. So, you know, that's not good. He wanted his female cousin or aunt or something to see him banging the hose of the. Witnesses said this about Kevin. They did.

They said he's kind of the naked neighborhood guy. We had that except for a lady. It was more just she would bend over a lot in skirts and would wear no underpants. Underpants. Hell yeah. Crazy Mary. Oh, you've told stories about crazy. Yeah, I don't think it was a hell yeah.

She wanted the kids in the neighborhood to see her bush? She wanted anybody to. Yeah, folks. But specifically the kids in the neighborhood? I don't know if it was specifically. I mean, I was a kid in the neighborhood and certainly saw it. But I've heard from other people that it was really, she just kind of, she cast a wide spectrum. Sure.

With a speculum and whatnot, she'd really get that thing going. But people, anytime I mention it, people in South Minneapolis will say, I know exactly you're talking about. Apparently, she's still running around, showing off her vagina. So. Good for her. Hell yeah. I think. I don't know.

What's your thing? Kevin is notorious in town for wagging his little rod around. He's the walk-around naked guy. Sometimes he just wears socks, sometimes just a tank top, this and that. They say that Kevin really, really likes to beat his meat. They said that. Now, witnesses who saw the vacuum cleaner hose gimmick, they said he was, okay, I think we all made this. assumption right away. He was penetrating the handheld suction portion of the vacuum. Sure.

We all knew that. But what's weird about what he was doing, where is this information? People who watched noted that he really did a number on his testicles. Yeah, he used the vacuum on his nuts, they said. they were surprised how much Kevin vacuumed his nuts compared to the actual pecker. So we all assumed he had the hose, of course. I would never even think of that. That's only natural to have the hose going with. They said it was more so on the balls. Again, probably reason, more reason why this is going to be a psychosexual evaluation.

I don't know if they want me to say their name or not, but this person says he's tried the vacuum, but it won't fit. Humble brag of the week? Yeah, we'll put you up there. Isn't that just a brag? Skinny Carpenter Jesus says, wait a minute, the hose.

I've been doing it wrong my whole life. Oh, man. He's just got the... Oh, he's going for the brush? I don't know. Ouch. Ow, we. And a lot of those old vacuums were on wheels,

so you're just chasing it around the house all day long. If you're trying to bang it, are there locks on those wheels? If not, you're just pushing that thing around the house. Okay, you might think that beat off Kevin here with the vacuum, you might think that he's just some aimless lunatic who roams the streets like an animal. And in a lot of ways he does.

But in closing, it says here that Kevin has a wife. That poor lady, who likely is packing her bags as we speak. or maybe not. I mean, like I said, he's known in the neighborhood for this type of behavior. You would have thought she would have left him years ago. Also, I don't know if this matters to anybody, but Kevin is also a former powerlifting champion. But Josh has told me off air that this is pretty typical behavior for power lifters.

I've never said that on, off air, never even had that thought. That they are kind of perverse. Nope. And they like to put on a public second. show, something that Josh has told me before off air, something he says he knows about power lifters. I did not. I did not say that. We've been told, don't take the test.

Don't take a psycho sex. Oh, I've been trying to find one. Have you really? Yeah, and like taking stupid tests and then getting near the end. And they're like, we'll email you the results. I don't want you to email me. Just tell me. Well, maybe are some of the legit test, like the real test.

Why did they say that? Because this person says, I don't know if they want me to say their name, but they said, said it level or excuse me, it lists plenty of people as sex offenders. I mean, when you're not, and then you have to be looked at further. Oh, if you score a certain way. I'm sure like an internet buzzfeed test or something is quite different. Yeah, that's what I'm looking for. Not the legit one.

I don't think you can just like take that online. If we took a real psycho-sexual evaluation test online, more than one of us might end up incarcerated. And I know this person and they're involved with first responders, so they know thing or two, so I'm going to guess they're correct. Hmm. Well, we don't want anyone going to jail today, so maybe we'll skip the psychosexual. Well, this is a weird question. Somebody says, how often do you get morning wood? Well, every afternoon. Pretty much every single afternoon, I get morning wood.

Another listener is saying, try getting it on with a Roomba. Oh, I just got one. I mean, I'm not attracted to it. They say if you like the old school hose, the old school vacuum, try getting it on with a rumba. They say, I just got one too, Josh. They say it's a mind scramble. Shoots it deer seven times and misses Jesus said try a dust buster. You know, kind of work your way up. Start there.

Oh, sure. One of our listeners has a name for his vacuum and he's violated it many times. His vacuum has a name Carmen Electrolux. There was a girl that was nicknamed. named Hoover in high school. And at first I thought it was funny and then I felt pretty bad for her. That is funny. Especially when you learn later on that a lot of those were probably lies.

You know, I believed it in high school. Like, really, she's going around and doing that for anybody that had asked? Poor girl. Well, there you go. This Kevin guy. They got him now. It's just a matter of trying to keep him. We can't have him doming himself with the vacuum cleaner in broad daylight anymore.

Well, this is unforgivable and absolutely disgusting. A dude has, I think maybe this nightmare took place in England. A dude has admitted, he's gone ahead and admitted that he took a big, fat, greasy duke in his neighborhood public swimming pool. He came clean, so to speak. He admitted that he was the guy who took a deuce in the community pool. If you have kids or had kids that were, it looks like you're about to say something else, 18 times! I'm jealous of his regularity.

And he can just weaponize his poop whenever he wants. What's wrong with him? But if you're someone, you have kids who are swimming or learning how to swim or having the past, you've likely had that call once a month where they have to shock the pool. Sorry, no lessons today. we had another kid take a dump in there. Poop in the pool, sure. I saw it.

Quite common. I saw it first hand when I was a tiny little kid and my brother and I were taking swim lessons. Some kid pooped in the pool. I remember, I still remember, the chunks kind of floating towards me. Oh, I'm so glad that's never happened to me. And this is in 1977,

so like the sexy Farah Fawcett-looking swim instructor lady, just, everybody out of the pool. And we just desperately, it was like a scene from jaws, I mean, you know, and of course, they played it out so perfectly in the movie Caddyshack. I mean, we were just desperate to just get our carcasses over the side of the pool as quickly as possible onto the concrete. We just barely made it. I mean, that's certainly gross, and I hope I'm not making myself out to be disgusting.

But I always thought, like, I'd probably still swim in a pool that they just fish some poop out of. They throw a little more chlorine in there. We swim in legs. Versus, you know, having to. drain that thing and shock it or whatever they do. This dude came forward. Young guy, 19-year-old kid, came forward after a while and said,

okay, you can stop with the police investigations. It was me. I took a deuce in the pool. I wonder what made him finally crack. 18 ties. Between February 2nd, I wonder if I have that information here, Ashley. We'll get there.

between February 2nd and May 21st of this year, the folks who hang out at this silly local public English swimming pool, they kept finding turd logs in the water, human turdlocks, varying sizes, and it just ruined the vibe at the pool. They had to keep shutting her down. And then, of course, you know, the new guy on staff had to go fetch the logs up out of there. First time they found a big oversized floater, Josh, The new guy wound up in the corner, puking his guts out.

I understand. But he had to go fetch it every time. School busing Kai Jesus hates poop. He saw poop in a lake, and he hasn't swam in a lake in 36 years. Saw a poop in the lake, huh? That's a little extreme. Um, yes, people are texting in. Don't touch it.

Spalding, no. Great scene. Caddyshack, 1980. So I'm not sure. There was a police investigation, this and that. I don't really know why this kid, I mean, the guilt was maybe too much to take. He finally stepped forward and said,

I'm the guy. I mean, I don't even know why he did it. My guess is social media. My guess is, you know, he's a 19-year-old kid. Ha-ha, social media. Look at this. I pooped in the pool. The old folks had to run for their lives.

And then three or four people said, that's hilarious. So he did it again and again and again. And he was waiting for his guest spot on the Stivo podcast. You know, he's waiting for fame and fortune because he's to poop in the pool. But his reign of terror is now over. And the broken down old timers can go back to swim in their laps and whatnot. You do find that a lot in those pools, right?

That's perfect. No, well, maybe. Yeah, the old-timer swimming laps. Oh, yeah. They love to go back and forth. Yep, every single morning. Like 7 a.m. Up and down, in and out.

That's when they have old people aerobics, too, at the community centers. Early like that. They know their audience. Yeah, they're up early. So a dude saw a turd in a lake and he can't get back in the lake. Yeah. I guess if I saw it, I know there's stuff in the lake that I don't want to know about. But if I see it, it kind of ruins it for me.

That must have been a keeper. My wife won't get in the lake. She won't do it. Because of that reason? Because of what reason? Because she's afraid, yeah. No, no, it has nothing to do with poop. I've never heard of them.

I mean, I pooped in a lake once, but I've never heard of one, like, floating along the surface. That little sail on it. Again, that must have been just a, like a, what are they called, like an aircraft carrier-sized turd that you would, most of them just wouldn't survive very long in a big body of water like that. So, no, my wife won't get in a lake because of weeds, turtles, fish, whatever. Her name, parasites, all of the things that live in a lake, she finds them all to be disgusting. I get it. She won't get in there.

I prefer a pool because of that, yeah. We have to, you know, we have to pull over for her to pee. I have to go to a dock. But she's very good at holding. She almost never has to. She won't even, like, kind of crouch on the side. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. She hates it when I use that Folgers coffee can, too, when I got to take a piss.

You have to take a dump? No, no, no. I only had a Duke in a lake once. That was a four-alarm emergency when I was 18 years old. Everton's had an aqua dump or two in the day. That was a disgusting sight. That was horrible. I bet it was.

I've never had that. Giving your track record. Oh, God. And it was more, it was two of us that had to get in at the same time. Oh, no. It was just this hideous cloud that. That's so bad. I mean, they were, the fish, they were like keeper wall eyes that snuck their heads just above the surface and looked at us as if to say, what the hell happened up there, you know?

You two must have either gone one or two ways. You become blood brothers for life or he never spoke to each other again after that. Two 18-year-old kids in a boat full of five, six of us. Two of us had to, I was one of them, had to get ass naked and jump over the side. It just, bupah! You know, drinking old Milwaukee all night long and eating nothing, but I don't know, a couple of pickled pigs feet or something. It was just horrible.

It's just brown cloud. And it stayed in that bay for hours. I hate this. The fish were judging us. I like that they're judging you and they poop in there all the time. Yeah, they swim in their own poop. Oh, right. The fish were.

Even they thought it was gross. Okay. By God, we were just talking yesterday about having a cookout. Well, we even covered it earlier this morning. When you're running the barbecue, this and that, have a bunch of friends over. This might be the saddest thing you'll hear all this. day. It says here if you're lonely, you can go ahead and rent someone to come to your barbecue. Oh, God, sorry, that's gas, straight up gas, and it flies right out of me, and it makes a noise,

and there's nothing I can do about it. I should have done this when I threw my husband a surprise birthday party, just like hired some random people. Pad the stats a little bit? Who in the world are these people? They're like, they're friends. What are you talking about? Now that I've paid for them, these are your friends. your friends. That would have been hilarious.

We can have fun with them now. To have your husband walk on to his own property, like he just gets done with work, gets out the pickup, and he smells the barbecue burning. Oh, Ashley's throwing a party for me, a little barbecue. And he comes around the corner and doesn't recognize anybody but you? That would be funny. Hey, hey, how's every? Do I know everybody?

And Ashley, you coach the hired guns up of everything on his life, so they seem to know everything about him. him throw him off even more. He just ruin his day because he thinks he's having like a mental birthday. He's going insane. It sounds awesome. Happy birthday. You're about to be committed. This is a Russian thing

which doesn't surprise me. Russians are always having trouble making real friends because they're shady. Says your lonely barbecue lovers. I never thought I'd say that out loud. What? Lonely barbecue lovers in Russia can now go

online to rent human beings to come to their cookout. It looks to me that lonely Russians are spending summers between $15 to $65 a day for this gimmick. There are ads online for this. Ads that say, what do they say? The ads say, they will help they, meaning the live human beings that you have rented to come to your barbecue. They will help you organize your barbecue. They'll keep you company.

They'll grill some meat. Jokes and anecdotes. are also included. Great. That just sounds exhausting. It sounds like you're going to die if you sign up for that service, doesn't it? I'd be worried about my safety. Yeah, yeah.

Sure, you have strangers coming over, and who offers themselves up to be rented? Well, that's what I mean. If I was the person offering myself up, I would assume I'm going to end up on that grill, cut up into a thousand pieces. Yeah, I think I'd, Josh, I think I'd try and create an imaginary friend before I pay a stranger. to come to my house for a brat and a beer. Yeah, me too. Where's the guy we hired? He's been in the bathroom for about 45 minutes.

Well, you know what else is weird about it? It says this is for men only. No chicks allowed. Huh? Whatever, I guess. Fine. I don't exactly know why. Women aren't allowed.

We don't want it anyway. You don't want to be there anyway? Yeah, I guess. The ad is also very clear, Josh, this is for you. because I could see you making this mistake if you ever rented men for your barbecue. The ad is very clear. This is a paid service and no lasting friendships should be expected afterwards. Yeah, I'd like to try and make a connection.

You fall in love very easily. I do. But you're going to have to follow the rules. There is no. Once your hour is up or two hours are up, don't be calling these some bitches. acting like they're your friends now. That'd be a nightmare for you.

So did you have fun or you up? Yeah. Text him, you up. Hey. Go ahead. How sad and lonely are men in Russia these days that this is happening? I guess they got a lot going on, but I'm with you. That's a level of desperation I hope I never reach.

F me running. That is just terrible. Stay tuned for tomorrow, stupid news report. Because you can all. We're out of time. but you can also do this with dogs. Ashley, you want to rent a dog? No, because I wouldn't be able to give it back.

You want to rent a dog, Cubby? You know, it might be kind of... Okay, go ahead. Looks like you're pointing out. Do you want to rent a dog? Sure. You got it. Yay!

Tomorrow I'll tell you all about it. What if I want to bring two of my friends? You can rent... Wait a minute now. Now you want two human friends and a dog? Yeah. You can do that. You can do that.

You can take a couple of different telephone calls. Tomorrow we'll tell you about... but rent a dog for craves' sake. We'll check the sports here in a minute. Half-assed morning show. We'd like to apologize for the pornography that aired during our cooking segment. There are a lot of very funny people who are good at computers

and we can't stop them. 93X rocks. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust standard heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about.

And if you've never tried them before, now's the time. Get $75 off your first service or tune-up. And while you're added, mention 93x. Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation

benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-L-K-E-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Jim Rome takes on sports.

I will always have a complicated relationship with this game. But people evolve. So do sports. Do not make me regret this. Do not make me devolve. Back to that guy. that so many clones wish that I still was. And do not embarrass the entire country.

Now, I can go back. I can get there fast. Lose tonight. And you've got a real problem. Do not blow it. The Jim Rome Show podcast. You've been warned. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

Sports. On the 93X half-assed morning show. Joe Ryan on to pitch. It's been one of the top guys in the American League this season. Swings and misses. And Ryan gets him with the curve. Seven strikeout. for the American League pitching staff over three and a third.

Abrams down on strikes. Back-to-back case for Joe Ryan. All right, Joe Ryan last night in the All-Star game. He looked terrific. Yeah. Got himself a half-inning out of the deal and a couple of strikeouts. We'll tell you all about the All-Star game at 730 when Randy Schaver and Brad Riders show up. Although I have to tell you, because I'm sure most of these didn't watch it,

I have to tell you, I doubt this one's going to go into the all-time record books. It doesn't sound that way. It was not the most excited. baseball game. Let me see. I didn't really get a chance to get myself organized here. Okay, now I think I got it done. We earlier we got to talking about pooping in the lake. And some of you assume might just be tuning in. Maybe you're asking yourself, how? Why? Why did you get yourself in a conversation about pooping in the, because we're an outlaw FM morning show. That's why.

Crazy. These are the things that FM morning shows. Oh, shock jocks. We're shock jocks. Morning zoo. We are there to. Got some text messages on pooping in the lake. One of our listeners says when I was a kid, our dog took a big dump in the lake.

I have a dog that likes to do that. And it started floating towards the people at the beach. I should have stayed, but we got the F out of there. Just got out of there. When me and my husband take one of our dogs up to his family's cabin, the first thing he does is beeline towards the water and tries to poop right in the water. Objective number one, have no idea why.

Yeah, probably because it feels good. Yeah, I bet. Listener says, I have a friend. No, you can see he only gets like his feet in the water. He doesn't go deep enough. It makes no sense. He wants to hear the sound of the splashing. Here's a listener who says,

one of my friends tried to start a log jam at the Apple River. Oh, no. A log jam. Josh, sing a little bit of the pooping in the lake song for us real quick. I don't know a pooping in the lake song. No. What does this say? Is this true?

And I don't know why a listener would say this. Well, maybe I have a rough idea why they would say this. One of our listeners texted it in to say, I bet Ashley has pooped in a lake. No. No, I haven't. Another listener says, my dad, oh, now we're talking about pooping in the river. Josh, sing a little bit of the pooping in the river song. Yeah, I don't even know that.

Um, the listener says my dad tells me a story about him and his buddy growing up swimming in the river. They were young kids swimming in the river. And my old man had to take a deuce. And they were in the river, so he just let her buck. Our listener tells us that his dad says, after he pushed it out underwater there in the river, he watched the some bitch float up and smack his buddy right in the front. face. There's no coming back from that.

Right in the face. Another listener says, can we talk about pooping on the sidewalk? He says, if you don't like poop on the sidewalk, don't come to St. Paul. They have a problem there that I didn't know about? He says there's a problem. He says almost daily he sees a poop on the... I spend time there. I haven't seen that.

You haven't seen any... You know, what I do see is streetlights that don't work because the copper's gone. True. Yep, a lot of those. Josh, sing us a little bit of the Spain defeated France at the World Cup. I really got to get a new Spotify or subscribe to Spotify. I don't know any of these songs. That's what happened.

Spain, the Spanish defeated the All-Star game. We'll tell you about that. What's this? Oh, Josh, did you like the looks of Lamello's Ball's New Cyber Truck? You know what? That's the first. Well, I take that back. I've seen a couple cyber trucks that look cool.

Like there was one that looked like it was straight out of halo, another that looked like a military vehicle. This one looked kind of cool. It looks kind of intimidating. Is that on our website? Yeah, it is. Later on, we'll give you more details on Lamello's Ball's News News. cyber truck. This guy loves

a fancy car. He does. He's got the bucks for it, I guess, but yeah, he doesn't buy a regular guy car. Josh has some more news for you here in a few minutes. To have customers so loyal to come here every day and enjoy the food, enjoy the company, it just

I don't know how to put it in worse. A Utah couple named Mickey and Joanne recently celebrated 60 years together, a relationship so enduring, it's been described as a Baja blast. The pair tied the knot when they were 21. Now at 81, they've spent decades honoring what of marriage's most sacred traditions, trying to agree on where to eat. But for them, the answer was easy, Taco Bell. Day after day, year after year, chalupa after

chalupa, they've made daily lunch dates at their favorite local restaurant. So Mickey decided it was time to spice things up. In fact, after six decades of eating the same familiar taco, Mickey wants to keep it that way and asked Joanne to renew their vows at Taco Bell. Oh, for Christ's sake. On Saturday, June 20th, they did. They could have chose any other place, and they decided to do at the Taco Bell, the place that they come in every single day, I think was lovely. The ceremony was officiated by a Taco Bell employee in front of friends, families, and fajitas.

I love it's been strong enough to survive every twist and not just cinnamon. I just wish that everyone can have that and find that in life. to have that kind of love for each other and commitment. After the couple re-exchanged rings presented by one of their grandsons, the restaurant unveiled a surprise. On behalf of Taco Bell, they announced Mickey and Joanne's daily lunch dates would officially live Moss free of charge forever. Every single day that you come in,

you're going to have a free meal on the house for the rest of your life. As impressive as that is, a local couple taco their marriage to a higher level. The 99-year-old St. Cloud residents recently celebrated an astonishing 80 years of marriage, a milestone so rare that on average only about one U.S. couple reaches it each year. To the same person? Same person. Dang. Their story began during World War II when the husband survived a kamikaze attack aboard a Navy ship. Oh my God. After the war, the couple married, went back to finish high school together, and built a family that now includes five grandchildren, 11 great-grandchildren, and three great-great.

grandchildren. Wow. Survived a kamikaze attack. Yep. Ran home and got married. Wow. That's crazy. You said got married and then the sentence after that was and then went to high

school together. Like, whoa. Things were different. When most people get fired from a job, they pick up and move on. But for Kishon Jones, he went back for seconds. The 23-year-old, now former Chick-fil-A employee in Grapevine, Texas, stole more than $80,000 from the restaurant. using a fraudulent refund scheme involving macaroni.

What's the name of the joint? Chick-fil-A. They got $80,000 laying around one of those joints? They got a couple of bucks. I'll be damn. This was not a cash theft. Jones was fired from the Dallas suburb location in October, but the following month,

detectives reviewed surveillance footage and found Jones behind the counter without permission. There, he began using the restaurant's register to craft a macaroni and cheese scheme, ringing up roughly 800 orders of the popular side item before issuing refunds to his credit cards. I'm impressed that he can do that. Did you even understand what you just said? Yeah.

How do you do that? I have a buddy who he regrets it now and is quite embarrassed, but in his early 20s, he would at a bar, like sneak behind the counter and give himself like a $500 refund on his credit card. Oh, my God. He used to do it a lot. Huh. Again, I'm impressed that folks know how to do such a thing. He worked at a bar.

So, I mean, he was like, ah, you know, we give these refunds, so I figured I'd give it a try. And he ended up stealing how much money? I don't know in total, but it was like $500 a time. My goodness. He was never caught for this? No. Until his buddy mentioned it on the radio. Oh.

Maybe his buddy shouldn't have said a damn thing about it on the radio. But yeah, this is many, many years ago. God, I hope this one makes the news. The newscaster was baffled. This newscaster was baffled by the bizarre nature of the story. Hi and total of, you know, it's. Sorry, wrong. Here we go.

I'm going to admit to you, didn't see this one coming. Keishon Jones was seen alone behind the register. He rang up 800 orders of mac and cheese trays and then refunded them, all to his personal credit cards. Fast food chains have seen a range of such incidents in recent years. In January, a McDonald's employee in Springtown, Texas was arrested after double-charging drive-through customers by tapping their cards a second time with a personal device and then pocketing an extra $10 to $20 per transaction. In 2023, a general manager at a Mancino's Pizza and Grinders location was busted for embezzling $130,000 from the customer loyalty program. In December of that year, employees at Burger King and Wendy's locations in Alabama were arrested in separate credit card. thefts and in October

10 employees at an Indiana Hardee's were caught stealing $150 $15,000. It's a lot different from customers through a card scheme there. Hardies. Hardies. Been a while. We used to have one across street from our school. May it rest in peace. Oh, that must have been awesome. It was pretty cool.

We could only leave campus senior year for lunch or whatever, but we'd hit that Hardy's pretty hard. I bet. We could only leave campus when you were a senior. Yeah, we didn't have... Friggin' Catholic schools. We technically weren't supposed to leave. campus at all, but we were we didn't. We weren't allowed either. That's hilarious. All four years? All four years. All four years. Yeah.

Or in your case, Dana, all six years? That was college, Josh. Okay, can I live? Yesterday was National Mac and Cheese Day, by the way. Here's a little noodle of knowledge. Craft mac and cheese came out in 1937 during the Great Depression, and it was an instant hit because it would serve a family of four for only 19 cents. That's all it took. This stuff is so good. 19 cents.

I can never make it as good as I. It never tastes as good if I make it versus somebody else making it for me, though. Do you guys have that experience? It's one of those things for me. I'm afraid to say the person in my life, but let's just say a matriarch can make macaroni and cheese better than anybody. Yeah. She's always had that talent. My wife is very good with that stuff.

And I'm like, well, what do you do? Do you follow the box? I'm like, yeah. But they just, they won't tell me their secrets. More butter than normal? that make anything good I can even F up mac and cheese so yeah I know what you mean

Today is National Hot Dog Day And what a mix macaroni and cheese and hot dogs No that's a hell of a combo Pricks up put them in there As long as you know you're going to be alone for a few hours Does that mess with you? Oohie People say cutting onions

Makes you cry That's true But losing 10 years of your life Behind bars for stealing them That'll bring the tears as well A 39-year-old man now faces eight counts of interstate transport of stolen property after pulling off a produce pilfering scam involving truckloads of onions. It's just like a mafia thing? It's not.

I mean, it's, I mean, it does sound kind of mafioso. I mean, maybe he's a part of it and they just didn't mention it. Henry Hill from the 60s stealing an onion truck, right? Yeah, he also stole other vegetables. He stole potatoes. They said it was elaborate theft enterprise, and he'd had it for several years. A lot of layers to this. In one scheme, he used a company's name and email signature to send messages to victim companies requesting produce and then pulled off a shipment switcheroo.

He diverted shipments to a different location while trucks were en route and never paid for the load. In another, he gave companies false documentation, leading them to believe he'd prepaid for produce when he hadn't. By the time it was over, companies were left with a combined loss of $600,000 in potatoes and onions. His underground-grown food staple scam could earn him a decade behind bars. There you go. Not drugs. Yeah, you know, that's one of those scams I would never come up with. I wouldn't know there'd be big money.

Yeah, like those some bitches who go to jail for 30 years were smuggling insects into Malaysia or something. What? I when hell did that become your thing? How much money does a pirate pay for corn? Oh, no. A buccaneer. Two Florida women have plenty in common. They're both school principals.

They're both married to police officers. And they both may have celebrated Independence Day with a little too much freedom juice because they were both arrested on DUI charges, both just hours apart in the same car by the exact same officer. This is the story of two girls, one cop. The unusual chain of events began around 2 a.m. July 5th. when Brunette Principal, we'll call her, was pulled over while driving with Blonde Principal, the actual owner of the car in the passenger seat.

During that traffic stopped, the officer gave Brunette Principal a pop quiz. Have you consumed any alcohol today? Because I can smell it, he said. Yes, I have, she replied. When Brunette Principal got out of the driver's seat, she told the officer she and her passenger were both high on the totem pole of education. You see, both women identified themselves as principals. Why are you driving?

I'm not meaning to do anything wrong. I'm way better. I just talked to you. You were really drunk when I talked to you. I know. I know. But I'm not wrong. Brunette principal declined to perform a field sobriety test so she was taken to jail.

According to the arrest report, blonde principal was deemed unfit to drive. But police let her go. They made sure she took a ride share and with her permission parked her car so it wouldn't have to be towed. That was nice. That could have been the end of it. It was not. About an hour and a half later, the same officer, blonde principal over in the same car. She was drunk and said she was trying to bail out her

friend. After the educator failed field sobriety test, she was arrested as well and taken to jail for detention. Both women pleaded not guilty to DUI and refusal to submit to DUI testing. That is a blonde principal. I loved it every time. That's an effed up type of a deal there. Yeah, wouldn't you think, Blake? I mean, I guess she was drunk, right? Still making bad. decisions but I would assume who that was a close one thank goodness the other lady was driving seriously you think or maybe there's got to be somebody she can call a cop their cops or their husbands too they're going to get a lot of crap yeah you can think about that angle a florida driver was arrested after making the not so brilliant decision to swap seats with the passenger

during a traffic stop and it may have worked if he hadn't immediately backed into a patrol car the hillsborough county sheriff's office was conducting a traffic stop last week when the driver tried the old seat swap strategy. But unlike Terry, he actually did put it in reverse. Would it in reverse, Terry? Put it in reverse. The car rolled backward and bumped right into the deputies patrol vehicle. Video released by the sheriff's office shows the man climbing out of that vehicle moments later, then casually walking away, apparently hoping the whole situation would just sort itself out. The zero one, ten fifth. Hey, stay in the car. Stay in the car. Get back in the car. Hey, let me get

gets units to my call Florida Avenue and Nebraska, 1018. He took off into a wooded area, but deputies tracked him down and took him into custody. If you choose to flee or deceive deputies expect to face the consequences in Hillsbury County will hold you accountable for your actions, as sheriff said. He was charged with leaving the scene of a crash with property damage. I do like he just got out like, man, nothing happened. He just crashed into a squad car. Wasn't me.

Clearly, I got out of the passenger seat. Couldn't have been me. Do you guys hear about the time Josh got pulled over? What time? Speeding home for Mancato. What time? Oh, you mean which time? Yes, sorry.

Which occasion? This was, Josh was driving with his wife in the passenger seat, and his wife fell out the car. And after a while, a squad car comes racing up behind Cubby and pulls him over and says, do you know that your wife fell out the car about a mile back? And Josh said, oh, thank God, I thought I went deaf. A man was arrested after fleeing a traffic stop on his motorcycle, only to find handcuffs at the finish line and internet ridicule for his hoodie design. A Florida Highway Patrol aircraft, aka A.K. A. A.R.N.R.k. observed several motorcycles racing in Tampa.

One rider sped away from the traffic stop, reaching speeds of about 150 miles an hour. That's way too fast. A rate of travel, usually pretty bad for blending in. He eventually abandoned his hog and fled the pigs on foot. But the escape didn't get far. He was quickly captured by cops in a nearby parking garage. But this part is the one that got to make fun of online. When arrested, the 19-year-old was wearing a hoodie with a twist of satire,

which read, Don't Get Caught. And he was caught. The legal trouble started piling up after that. He was charged with fleeing and eluding, reckless driving, and one more count that may explain why he ran, he didn't have a license. No license. Nope, that's why he took off. Yeah, he's lucky he's not a stain across a half mile of freeway there.

God, help us, yes. Here's a look at two new streaming releases today. First up is Lucky, an Apple TV series starring Anya Josephine Hubba, Marie Taylor, Hubba Joy, and Timothy Oliphant, who's not so bad on the eyes either. When a multimillion-dollar heist goes sideways, a con artist named Lucky is forced to go on the run. I guess someone's so small. It costs so much trouble. Whatever game you're playing here, lucky, it's not going to go the way you think it will.

I'm done running. From you, from anyone. Also new is Ride or Die, starring Octavia Spencer and Ted Lasso's Hannah Waddingham on Prime Video. Best friends Debbie and Judith thought they knew everything about each other, but Debbie's stunned to discover that Judith is an international assassin. Deb, I'm an assassin. I kill terrible people for money. Well, if I did it for free, I'd be a serial killer.

Who are these people? Your husband stole millions from the mob. Now they're after you. Travis Fimmel is 47 today. Travis Fimel? Ragnar on Vikings. Oh. Yeah, that guy's awesome.

Joe Satriani is 70 today. Not on an episode of Vikings, a guitar guy. Just for a second there, I thought you were making that name up. I did too. Travis Fimmel. Fimill, yeah. Love him. You love that guy?

Yeah, he's great. He was awesome as Ragnar. Jesse Ventura, 75. Happy birthday to Salem. Turn to the big O-3 today from his Papa, metal hand-finishing Jesus. And happy birthday to John from your little brother. Damn you, Scuba Steve, Jesus.

And that's 93x News. Coming up next with chat with Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder. On the half-ass morning show. Joe Ryan on to pitch. He's been one of the top guys in the American League this season. Swings and misses, and Ryan gets him with the curve. Seven strikeouts for the American League pitching staff over three and a third.

Abrams down on strikes. Back-to-back case for Joe Ryan. Here's Joe Ryan's appearance last night in the Big League All-Star game. Audio of how Joe Ryan got her done. Hello, Randy Schaber and Bradrider. Good morning, good morning. Good morning. Joe Ryan, you guys.

Yeah, impressive. Last night's Big League All-Star game, this one was about as forgettable as it can get. As far as All-Star Games go, it was one of them. It sure was. I don't think this one's going into any future highlight reels because for the most part, nothing happened. Well, if you love pitching, then you enjoyed last night. Sure. The American League just absolutely dominated last night.

Yeah, they did. The 15 strikeouts, not a record, but close. Yeah. They only gave up three hits. I don't know. I was hoping for a little more offense, but, you know, sure, if you're a pitching enthusiast, if you want to get a look at all these different shutdown relievers and top starters, you got a dose of it from the American League pitching.

If you missed the top of the first inning, you didn't see a lot. Yeah, you basically missed it. Yeah, that's right. The American League lineup put together a little bit of offense in the first inning. And then again in the eighth. Yeah, Vargas with the home run. but yeah, Brad's right. If you missed the first inning, you basically missed the scoring part of the ball game.

The American League won the 96th all-time Big League All-Star game by a final final of 4-0. 4-0. The game's only extra base hit, Randy Schaber just mentioned, a towering solo rod hitting that eighth inning I was telling you about. She was a long yard sale hit by Miguel Vargas of the Chicago White Sox. but you know Juan Soto had a single in the fourth Pete Crowe Armstrong

a single in the eighth Otto Lopez that's a great name I hadn't heard of that kid yet he's a really good player for Miami Otto Lopez he had a single in the ninth those were the only hits by the National League they never advanced a runner past first base that's crazy

so there were 27 strikeouts in the ball game and as Randy Shaver mentioned already 15 of those belong to American League pitchers And the funny thing is when you look at the American League pitching roster, it's not like it's Roger Clemens and Randy Johnson and guys like that. It's Parker Messick, a rookie for Cleveland. It's Michael Waka, who's, you know, a veteran pitcher. He probably throws in the low 90s. Nick Martinez, who's first all-star appearance at 35 years old.

It's Drew Rasmussen from Tampa who's been around. Louis Varlane in his first All-Star. I mean, it's just, it's a mix of totally different kind of pitchers that all combined to have an incredible night for the American League. The Barland guy looked pretty good because we trade for him. Be nice to team of the twins uniform, you're saying? Yeah. Take it easy, Brad.

Take it easy. Yes, Ashley's grade school boyfriend. Had a turn out there for the American League. He allowed one hit and also recorded a strike. So there you go. Great performance by the American League pitching staff. They had a hellacious fireworks show at one point or another mid-game. Did you guys see this fireworks show?

That was impressive. Yeah, they were paying tribute to the Sandlot I was reading this morning. Oh, never saw it. Which breaks my heart that I'm the only person on this program familiar with the movie The Sandlot. Oh, no, you're not. I saw it a long time ago. But I mean, I guess I, excuse me, I'm the only Sandlot enthusiast. You are an enthusiast.

Couldn't give two pumps about the Sandlot. It was a tribute to the movie in what way? So on the Fourth of July, there's a scene in the Sandlot where the one time they play a night game a year is on the 4th of July because the fireworks light of the sky bright enough that they're able to play on the old sandlot. That's adorable. Mm-hmm. It was unbelievable. That was a riot to watch. And in the movie they play Ray Charles.

God, I'm playing it. America the Beautiful. And then they played that last night during the fireworks. The kids rode their bikes out on the field. Similar to what they do in the sandlot, it's all kind of connected there. You know, you would have been quite a help to me if you would have been sitting in my living room with me last night because I had no idea why children were on bicycles in the middle of the ball field. I bet you were very confused. I didn't understand what was going on with that at all.

And I didn't have the volume up high enough. I'm sure the listeners are, they don't call them listeners. Announcers might have explained that, but I couldn't hear them. there was also some really poorly executed lip syncing before the ball game. Did anyone see any of the anthems? I did not. You know, Josh was telling us there were a lot of people bitching about how Netflix handled the home run derby. I didn't notice anything.

I thought it was a pretty typical home run derby by my experience with the event. If I was to bitch about anything last night, I mean, I don't know. It's not anything I'm going to go online and complain about, but I thought some of the lip syncing was a little sloppy. I mean, if you're going to go out there and lip-sync, can you have it down? Can you have the... Well, to give the benefit of the doubt, you might be on to something, but maybe it's a little bit of a delay. Like, you know, sometimes that you can tell it's delayed, meaning that what you're seeing and what you're hearing. So maybe you're saying it wasn't lip-sinking, it was a delay? It could have been. I mean, that's just a possibility.

And my only other beef would be... You know, Randy just got done talking about how they were all these kind of, you know, lesser-known, up-and-coming type pitchers out there. There were 36 brand-new All-Stars, right, in last night's game. Yep. I had a little bit of a problem with the in-game interviews early in the ballgame. They had a pitcher and a catcher miced up, and the announcers were trying to communicate with them on the field. And then they had this long, drawn-out, in-game. game interview with Justin Verlander and the big kid from Milwaukee and that Schlittler guy from

New York. They're trying to talk to pitchers who are hanging out in the dugout. And that's cute and everything. But when I'm watching an All-Star game, especially when there's a lot of new players, I'm kind of- Watch the game. Well, number one, yes, I want to watch the game. And I want to hear more about these new players. Who is this guy who's up to the plate? Like Otto Lopez. But instead, I wasn't able to get that information because of these cutesy little in-game interviews. I mean, I'm not going to lose any sleep about it, but I could do without that. I want to hear about these ballplayers.

Give me their background. Give me their, but that's just, I guess, the baseball snob side of me. I'm not sure how to explain it. Other than that, I had a pretty good time. Yeah, I don't blame you. Baseball, baseball should really send me an email or something and thank me because I spent more time the last two nights on the home run derby and the All-Star game. than I think most Americans.

I think maybe I, Josh, I should be the American of the week. You do love baseball. My dedication to. MLV's guest consultant of the week. I would love to be a guest consultant. So there you go. Now, big league clubs will get back at it Friday. Is this the liquor talking?

Or here we are the night after the All-Star game. Isn't this typically where they run the SPEs? Are the SPs still a thing? Good question. Yeah, you're right. This is typically the day. Yeah, typically. they are. Did the SPs go away?

I haven't heard a thing about it. I'd be okay if they did, I guess. Let's look that up. Oh, no, there's happening tonight. I'm looking it up right now, too. It is tonight. You're right. Who's hosting that son of a gun? Yeah. Ceremony is hosted by S&L comedian Marcello

Hernandez, whoever that is. I'm not sure. I haven't watched it in a while. I haven't seen. Did he watch, don't you? Yeah, he's funny. I'm not sure who, Marcelo. What'd you say? Hernandez. I'm not sure who he is. Very good with impressions.

But there you go. Okay, the Espies. I've got no reason not to give it a shot. I loved it back in the day when it first cut loose. When Norm McDonald hosted, that was amazing. I don't know if I remember that one. That was a one and done for him. He made some jokes that ESPN and ABC were not too pleased about.

Oh, J-related? Everything related. He did love to go after OJ. Yeah, got him canned. On SNL, yeah, especially. Tell me more about that. If you can look up more of what Norm McDonald said to anger people at the SPs years ago, I'd love to hear it because I don't recall that at all.

Yeah, I'm looking at up. I can't remember the specifics, but every time I see it pop up on social media, it's absolutely hilarious. You know, he was such a brilliant guy. But I have to admit that the one time we had Norm McDonald in studio, I didn't understand a word that came out of his mouth. Oh, really? Do you remember that being just really bizarre, Josh?

I think he was exhausted, and I know he doesn't like doing those types of things. I didn't understand any of what he was trying to put across to us in a half hour of a conversation with the man. I don't know what was happening. I just remember one of the jokes. Charles Woodson won the Heisman trophy that year in college football, and he was in the audience. He goes, hey, congratulations, Charles Woodson won the Heisman trophy. That's something that's an unbelievable accomplishment that nobody can ever take away from you, unless you kill your wife and a waiter. Yeah, he went after him, dude, come on.

He loved going after OJ. Oh, yeah. That's all he did for years. And Saturday Night Live didn't like that, right? Because, well, specifically the dude who runs Saturday Night Live, what's his name again? Lauren Michael. Lauren Michael. Was tight with some executive who was tight with OJ.

So there was like this boys club. Yeah. The guy who ran NBC at the time was huge. big friends with OJ. Yes. So they eventually canned him because he was the weekend update host. You know, he would do the news, you know, and he would just nonstop make OJ jokes and they finally

canned his ass over it. Yeah. Well, and it got worse because they told him he couldn't do it. And he said, and he can't do it more. You tell Norm McDonnell not to do something. That's like telling the kid not to, you know, take cookies out of the cupboard. Yeah, it inspired him to do it more. Here's fraud prevention,

Jesus texting and saying, who are you kidding? If Major League Baseball sent me an email, I wouldn't be able to find it anyway. Yeah, you're probably right about that. Yeah, maybe they did send you an email. They may have possibly emailed me and I'm just not aware of it. Oh, wow, that's great. Great memories of Norm MacDonald.

I loved the way he would go after O.J. Simpson. And you're right. There was like this Millionaire's Boys Club who were in charge of Saturday Night Live and NBC, and they just thought that was so disrespectful. They actually believed that OJ was innocent in one way or another, which blows my effing mind. And McDonald was not afraid. No.

Maybe he was full of beer. dope or something? No, he was notoriously sober. Well, because he was one weird some bitch when he was in studio. I love that guy. I think maybe he just made a point to confuse us, because I couldn't follow it. Yeah, it could have been a bit. He liked to play his own bits. He had one of his buddies listening

and said, look, I'm going to torture these guys with nonsense it's very possible. Yeah, I could see that happening. It's been done to us before. All right, so I was curious about the ESPs. There you go. I'll see what happens tonight. It's one of my fondest memories, I know this is going to be odd, but one of my fondest memories of the Espies.

I think I have this right, where Justin Timberlake was the host, and he sang a song while Greg Oden played the piano. Sounds beautiful. And some of you are probably saying, who's Greg Oden? He was the top pick from the college basketball in what year would you say, guys, like 99 or something? No, 2000s. I can't remember.

But there was big old Greg Oden up there, and then his career went nowhere, not Timberlake, but Odin's career went nowhere. Knees gave out on him. His feet didn't work. People texted in saying, Dirty Work is one of the most underrated comedies of all time. I totally agree. That movie's absolutely hilarious.

Top to bottom, one of my all-time favorites. Anytime it comes on my television, I will watch Dirty Work. I wonder why that wasn't a bigger hit. That movie was so funny. Good question. Good question. All right. So as I mentioned yesterday, with it being a little bit of a lull in the sports schedule this time of year, a lot of websites are coming out with lists. I don't think I'm going to throw anybody with this one. A lot of them, some of these you probably already know by heart.

But there was a recent report on some of the weirdest pregame rituals for big time athletes. Okay, let me try to throw a couple your way that I bet you can answer. It's not a long list. Weird pregame rituals. Jason Terry, longtime NBA player Jason Terry. This one's mostly well-known. Go ahead, Randy Schaeber. I just know who Jason Terry is.

I'm not sure I know what you're going to say. The ritual. Nobody? I got nothing. I thought it was well-known. He would sleep in the basket. sports of the team he was set to play the next day. Okay, that sounds familiar now that you said it.

Yeah. So like Jason Terry, I know for sure he spent a good stretch of time with the Dallas Mavericks when he was playing for the day. If the following day they were playing the Portland Trailblazers, he would sleep that evening in a pair of Portland Trailblazer shorts. Somehow he thought of that as an advantage in one way or another. Be funny, he's on the road and he goes down on the Continental Breakfast and gets photographed wearing the other team shorts.

Did he get traded? Maybe he thought of it, Josh, of some type of a mental advantage. If he would fart in the shorts of the team he was going against the duck. Yucky. He's rubbing his genital. I don't know what it was all about. Moises Allu. Nothing, huh?

I thought this was well known as well. No, no. Big league player Moisus Alu would take a piss. Oh, yeah. On his hands. On his hands before a ball game. He thought of it as a way to prevent blisters and harden the sky. skin. See, now that makes sense, if you remember Moises Alloo, because he did not wear any batting

gloves. So, Josh, you would urinate on, have you ever tried to urinate on your hands? It happens, not on purpose. You ever tried? You've got those little weak, childlike hands. You ever thought about urinating on them to toughen them up? I didn't know that would work. According to Moises Allu would work. I mean, it happens frequently, but by accident, I haven't noticed a change. Some things happen as you get older, right? Boy, he got mad at that Steve Bartman, didn't he? Oh, yeah, he did.

Moises, Saloo, he got mad at that Steve Bartman. Serena Williams, the big tennis star. Is this more, would you categorize this stuff as rituals or superstitions? A little both, it sounds like? Yeah. Good question, I think they're very similar. I'm not a word guy. Josh, you're a word guy.

What is it? Is it a ritual or is it a superstitious? Well, they're superstitious rituals. They're superstitious. That's how you... Hey, that's how you just play right down the middle. That's why he gets the big bucks. A little bit of both. Hey, it's all that pee on my hands, you know? You've got to get creative. Serena Williams would use, or I should say wear the same pair of socks for an entire tennis tournament. I get that, that probably got pretty live down there after a while.

Sure. I bet that's a pretty common thing for athletes to wear certain. Oh, absolutely. Things if they're on a streak. We could sit here all day and talk about athletes who wore the same drawers or the same socks or the same nut cup or the same t-shirt to, yes. Seems to me. Seems to me Doug Minkavich had some of that kind of stuff. Oh, big time.

And extra innings, he uses sit crisscross applesau on the dugout, right on the chewing tobacco and sunflower seeds until they hopefully got a walk off. All right. Marchon Lynch, go ahead. Skittles or something? Skittles before every game. He would eat up a bag of those skittles. Now, some of these guys aren't the most famous athletes of all time.

Goran Ivanishvich. I think I have that correct. The tennis player. Before every big match, he would watch the telitubbies on television. Maybe it's calmed them down. I don't think I ever bothered with the telitubbies. What did they do for us, Josh? Do you recall?

I've seen them, like, pictures of them, but I, None of my kids watched them. I was too old for that. Kind of unsettling. They do look a little odd. Mm-hmm. All right, back to. You do a weird feeling.

Did they make you feel weird, Brad? Yeah. Kind of like when you used to climb the rope in gym class. Yeah. Not that kind of weird. Back to urine, if you don't mind. An M.MA fighter by the name of Lyoto Machida. Apparently they call him one of the legends of mixed martial arts.

He would drink a glass of his own piss. Oh, my God. every day. Did you read why? Yes. He thought that drinking his own... Or I should say how it started. That's the interesting part to me.

Well, maybe I don't have that information. You can fill it in here in a minute. He would drink a glass of his own piss. He believed that it would help flush out toxins and help his immune system. Oh, oh, here. Maybe I have it here, Josh. He says this was a family tradition. his dad also drank piss daily.

It's a weird family tradition. Son, have you had your morning piss? Well, what do you mean? That's gross. Oh, oh, drinking my morning. Not yet. Like your morning coffee. Not yet.

I'm going to brush my teeth first. Oh, gosh. You don't mix those two. It's like orange juice. A glass of morning piss. That's the worst one, I would think. Yes. Yeah, it's got a little bit of everything you did last night in it.

Yeah. In some cases, it might get you drunk again. Boy, you're right. And then there was, I doubt he was the originator of this. Wasn't that long ago, interestingly enough. We talked about one of my favorite all-time NHL players, Joe Newindyke. What an outstanding center he was for some big dude, won a cup with the Calgary Flames,

won a cup with the stars, Joe Newindyndyke. He must not have been the first guy to do this. because I remember it being a thing when I was a youth hockey player before Joe knew. Well, maybe. Yeah, Newendike maybe was a prominent player. Yes, okay.

He may have been the one who started it. He would put baby powder on the blades of his hockey sticks to remove friction. And I remember that being like a junior high age kid when we're taping up our sticks in the locker room. Suddenly there were a few guys who were baby powdering the blades of their stick. I never even asked what it was for. I fell in line with it and thought, okay,

a baby, but, okay, Joan Dewandike was the guy who started that. Josh likes the looks of Lamello's Ball's new cyber truck. Is this kid going to make it? I don't know. I don't know. That car looks corny as hell. Yeah, specifically it's one of the coolest cyber trucks I've seen, which the bar is low, right?

That's true. I mean, we've heard that this kid isn't the greatest driver in the world, and now he's in town, and now he's got himself a new cyber truck. He said he got a driver, though. Well, yeah, I'm not buying that. I mean, he's got, Josh, it says here, and there's pictures of videos even of Lamello's Ball's new cyber truck on our website. It says here he's got a new, you're more of a car guy than I am,

so help me out with this, Josh. He's got a new Mercedes AMGG wagon, whatever that is. It looks like a fancy Jeep, like Wrangler. He's got a Rolls-Royce Cullinan. He's got a Lamborghini Euros and a Ferrari F-Aff Tributo supercar, and now he's got a new cyber truck. I don't really believe he's going to be using a driver. With all these cool cars, he's not using that.

He'd want to drive all of them, right? You want to drive him? You know how you were hoping maybe to have Aaron Rogers come to town for all the drama and the stories and things like that, Nick? Yeah. I think you've got your plan B here. I'm pretty sure that there's going to be no shortage of conversation around him off the court. Well, good.

You really think he can rival Karen as far as nonsense off the court? What nonsense? Maybe not the weirdness, but all the other stories. Trauma. Yeah. And not on a national level, but certainly. Yeah. We should try and get him on.

What if we could make that word? I would love to. We've already put the word out to his dad. We want to talk to his dad. I don't know if he's responded yet. Dad said no. Or whoever handles his dad's media. Well, we'll ask him again.

I'm kind of surprised. The guy I've heard likes attention. We'll ask him again. Brad Ryder. The dad said no or the PR? whoever runs their media organization. I bet the dad would come on with you. We'll keep bothering them.

We'll keep bothering them. I understand what you mean, though, Bradrider, and I do fully expect some level of nonsense from this Lamello's balls. It'll be different, very different, I would imagine, than what we'd get from Karen, but I know what you mean, and I look forward to it. Finchie will keep him in line. Finchie?

Finchie might lose his mind. Yeah, no kidding. Every time my wife and I watch a Timberwolves game, which is every game, there's always one shot of Finchie on the bench where we say to each other, he wants out. He just can't, he can't stand this anymore. He does have that look sometimes. Just fire me already.

There might come a point midseason this season where he feels that way. I mean, the guy looks like he's going to snap a number of times during Timberwolves games because he just does not know what they're doing out there. And wasn't that the great line he had before he coached the All-Star game where someone said, how do you approach the All-Star game as opposed to a regular season game? And he says, I don't think it'll be any different. These guys probably won't listen to me either. That's what he said.

I love watching Finchie's facial expressions during the ball game because you can tell he's thinking, what am I even doing here? Just exhausted mentally. Check out Lamello's Ball's new cyber truck. Oh, God, he's got custom wheels and underglow lights and a personal logo on the back panel, which is L. What is LF? La France.

La France? What the hell was that name? That was like a nickname, right? Oh. Let me see if I can find out how he got that. His nickname is La France? I can't remember exactly. Custom seats.

It's just a sweet-looking deal. I mean, I'm not crazy about the cyber truck, but come on. The video's kind of cool to watch him sitting in that damn thing. It's definitely silly. It looks like a spaceship. Yeah, there you're not going to wonder whose it is. No. That doesn't look like any other one out there.

I'm waving them down. If I see the LaFran. Mawobile on 394. I'm waving him down. I want to talk to Lamello's. I want to get to know this kid. I want to be tight with this kid. But I'm just wondering, is he going to make it? All right. So it looks like it's LaFrance. I might even be pronouncing that wrong. That's how it spelled. Is his lifestyle brand. Oh. Oh, he has a brand. He has a lifestyle brand, meaning closed. 715 Wild Man, Mild Man Jesus says, Ant and Lamello? probably why Mike Connolly Jr. decided to leave. In all seriousness, I'm not saying that LeBron would have come here,

but that might be a reason he does not. Just doesn't want to babysit those two? Exactly, yes. Like I told you, the two of them are cruising around town and the bang bus. Ah, man. If LeBron did come here with that crew, they might as well just make the reality series right away. Yeah, get the cameras rolling.

Yeah, but the other part of that, though, Brad, is that it is a talented roster. Yeah. Oh, for sure. No, from that perspective, I think that's why he's still considering them because he sees a fit. Oh, and it's a perfect fit, actually, for him in a lot of different ways. But you're right. I mean, it's not, it's got a circus atmosphere potential. Yeah.

which, you know, I don't think he really wants to be a part of. Yeah, this could be the biggest gong show we've seen since the bang boat. Or it could be incredibly good. If everybody stays healthy and plays well. If they behave. I was about to say that. Fill the power forward spot with somebody that can help them. Yeah.

You're right. They've got an opportunity. It could go in a few different directions, and I'm excited about it. Oh, someone emailed me. What do you call the system? It's not an email text. Someone texted me a picture of the telitubbies? Jesus, bull.

They're a little unsettling, right? Uh-huh. They look like they're planning on something. Something evil. They got black eyes like a doll's eyes. They've got lifeless eyes, the telitubbies. All right, NBA guard Tyler Harrow, now working. for the Milwaukee Bucks.

He was part of the Greek freak trade with the Miami Heat a month ago or whatever. Tyler Hero's been talked about lately. What happened was he got socked in the mush by one of his former teammates, Bam Otabio. I didn't really get into the story. Fair enough, so Bam, Otabio punched Tyler Harrow in the mouth. Yep.

One NBA reporter didn't seem too surprised by the altercation. A longtime Miami Heat beat reporter by the name of Ira Windermen and a long time since I've heard of a guy named Ira. A long time beat reporter by the name of Ira Wenderman. He recently made an appearance on a radio show and he said, doesn't Tyler Harrow have the kind of face that makes you want to punch him?

He's not wrong. That's funny. He said he's that kind of guy. He's the instigator in high school who is always doing the little things until it becomes too much. I don't want to say he had it coming. But it sort of was, you know, you play the wise ass, you play that character. That's what's going to happen. That's a funny take on Tyler Hero, because everyone knows that character, right?

Eventually, someone's going to try and smash that smart-mouth character in the face, and it sounds like that's what happened. Tyler Hero's younger brother played at St. Thomas. I remember you telling us that a few months ago. All right, how about this? I've got my own ideas. 651, 989, 93, if you have an idea, the most punchable faces in sports over the years.

Well, right now this is top of mind because he plays today for England, but there's a player named Harry Kane who pretty much universally everybody thinks is the most punchable person in the world. Okay, I don't know Harry Kane. Do they ever say, here I am, rock you like a Harry Kane? I bet somebody has. Yeah, that's good. Now, I would say, speaking,

of today's players, I would say that there are two current athletes that have maybe the most punchable faces in the history of all sports, current athletes. And that's baby nuts, Luca Donchich. Sure. Tell me that face wasn't made to be punched, especially when he's whining and griping and all the dramatics that he comes with. The other one would be FTA, Shea Gilchus Alexander. I think those two guys, have very, very punchable faces. Is it more just because he don't like SGA? Or do you think his face really looks that punchable?

Punchable. I also don't like him as a player. I just looked it up. Bleacher Report.com has an article on the 50 most punchable faces in sports. Well, tell me if any of my, because I wrote down some other ideas. Tell me if they're in there, Josh. Danny Aange. Not on the list. Danny Aange had that whiny look on his face all the time when he played basketball. Yeah. Pete Rose, no offense to the dead, but Pete Rose had a punchable mug his whole life.

Not on the list. No. I mean, I think some of the punchable stuff is also their attitude or how they carry themselves. Sometimes, but sometimes it's just the face. Well, back in the day, it was Bobby Hurley. Oh, yes. Bobby Hurley, very punchable face. You're correct.

I come up with other guys like Mike Keenan. Longtime NHL coach Mike Keenan. I know I just lost you because it's hockey. Oh, you remember Mike. Jim McMahon, Bobby Knight. Yeah, I don't think I'd want to try to punch Bobby Knight, but yeah, I guess. I was never afraid of Bobby Knight. I wasn't soft like you.

As long as there are no chairs around. J.J. McCarthy. People are texting insane. Oh, my God. You know what? Especially his intense face. And that's as much about the ad-jured. attitude as it is the face.

Exactly. Yeah, it's a little of both, Randy. You're right. Sometimes it's the attitude, but sometimes it's just the face. And I think it's your attitude towards them that is spurring on the idea of the punchable face too. But sometimes, Randy, let's not let go. Sometimes it's just the fact. Vince McMahon.

Definitely. Who's on the list, Josh, that you saw over there? Go ahead, Randy or Josh, whoever's got one. I was going to say Knoblocker presents. And people are texting those in. Yeah, Prasinski's coming in like crazy. AJ Persinski. Again, though, that's about the attitude, you know, more than it's a punchable face.

But him and J.J. McCarthy both kind of have that look like they're like the snobby kid in the movie that picks on the nerds and stuff. Smug bully. Jay Cutler. Oh, dude, yes. Unless you're saying. Or you like Jay Cutler. Or unless you're saying you don't care about the subject. What are you saying, Brad Ryder?

No, yeah. Jay Cutler, absolutely. Grayson Allen. Oh, my goodness. Patrick Mahomes, that's a big one via text here. Oh, wonderful. Wonderful. Brad Marshawn, Eli Manning.

I love this. This is great. We can text are flying in it. What else, Josh, did you see in front of you? So, this was from 2018 for some perspective there. But Tim Linzicum makes the list. What? I look like an little nerd.

Why do you want to punch a little bit? Stoner, Cam Lindicum. I've got one for you. How about Gary Bettman? Oh, yeah. He's on the list. Let's get him right in the jaw. Bruce Boudreau is on the list. Bobby Boudreau? No. Well, I guess

it's a big target. If you want to punch Bruce Boudreau in the face, you don't have to be too accurate. That dude had a dinner plate for a face. Now, here's a guy we used to know on the Bleacher Report list. Chris Cluey, they say, has a punchable face. A.J. Prisinski was mentioned. Some of these are so

good. I mean, some of these go way back. I like the ones that go way back. And this is perfect. I still, when I see this guy, get sick to my stomach. John Starks from the New York Knicks back. Oh, he had that stupid look on his face every single day. And that little mustache he used to wear around. I used to want to punch that mustache right off of his face. Bleacher Report also says every Notre Dame athlete. Mike Shanahan. Why can't I picture Mike Shanahan? Who's The old coach. The Broncos coach.

Oh, from way back. Tim Tebow. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What do you? Wow, I'm surprised this is on the, well, maybe, I don't know. Cousins. Kevin Garnett is on this list.

I don't really agree with that. No, no, I don't agree with that. I think KG's got a beautiful, gorgeous. Maybe people outside of Minnesota think. Yeah. Johnny Damon. Sean Payton. Oh, I love Johnny Damon.

Tiger Woods on this list. Johnny Manzell. Travis Kelsey Oh, that's a good one. Wonderful. These are great. Don Cherry. I thought people love Don Cherry.

As a lover hate thing with Don Cherry. Jim Harbaugh is a good one. Oh, damn, Jim Harbaugh. He needs a punch in the mouth so bad. They throw announcers in here like Skip Bayless and Chris Collinsworth. Absolutely. I mean, just somebody sock Harbaugh in the jaw while he's standing on that frigging side line. Someone just do it once.

Headphones go flying. Oh, man. I want to see those big old Bo Schembeckler glasses just shatter. Isn't that who he's kind of mimicking with those glasses, Bo Schembeckler? I think so, yeah. What are you talking about Philip Rivers? Listen to name Brandon wants to punch Philip? What the hell is Philip Rivers ever do?

Again, kind of looks like the snobby private school kid in the movie. Oh, I disagree. Philip Rivers, wonderful. But be careful. You try to punch Philip Rivers. You might catch the wife, too. He's always on top of the wife. His kids are getting old enough.

pile in too. They'll fight back. All right. Man Ram. He's on the list. Manny Ramirez? Yep. Wemba Yamba? Oh, absolutely. Wemba yamba's punchable as hell after this past season. I know he's local, but what about Chet Holmgren? Yeah, a little.

I can see it. Yep, yep. Got a unique face on you. I'll give him that. There you go. All right, what else is going? Oh, Jesus. Some of the obvious ones here, sorry, you always forget the obvious. Draymond Green. Yeah.

Gosh, yes. I was looking at other lists. He tops a lot of those. Bill Belichick. God, the list is long. It really is. Randy, you're number one. I know.

I'm not saying it. And you know who I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. Who's the number one? Well, Randy and I know. Oh, I know, too. Go ahead, Randy. You say it.

I'm going to say Chris Carter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, again, the obvious ones sometimes escape. Especially when he was playing Chris Carter. Oh. You want to talk about the, the, kind of, you know,

Attitude, Chris Carter. Like Danny Gange and like Baby Nuts. He always had that whining effing expression on his face. Yep. And like you were the idiot. Yep. That's the expression. Well, we mentioned Bobby Hurley, so we've got to mention Kristen Leitner, I suppose, too.

Yeah. Oh, gosh, Christian Leitner. Yeah. A lot of folks wanted to straighten him out. Especially the player Leitner back in the day, yes. And J.J. Reddick, too. Yeah, again, this is. J.J. Reddick falls in there.

Something we could just, we could just. could roll with. The Spanish soccer team defeated the French soccer team Randy. Randy,

you mean Dana. The Spanish soccer team won. And speaking of Spain, did you know that they'll

pay you if you wanted to move there? Really? I was just reading something about countries that'll pay you to move there.

And Spain's one of them. They're looking to add some youth to some of their towns. Okay, I guess we wouldn't be invited to that then. I don't think anyone would look at us and call us youth. Yutes, maybe. The younger you are, the younger you are, the more cash they'll pay you to move there, Josh. Spain. Yeah, there's places like, I thought there was even a town here in Minnesota that was looking for folks to come move there.

And they pay you? They give you a little bit of money, like off your property or something like that. Really? Look that up. Is it Maple Lake? Because I'd consider moving there now, not that I've mended fences with Maple Lake, I mended fences with that town last year. I think we're all good now.

That's interesting. Here in the state of Minnesota, there's a place that might even give you a little. They call it a relocation incentive. Chile? They have a startup program. They'll pay you to move there. Japan. Oh, Josh and I have always wanted to visit Japan.

Yep, absolutely. Just for the rock concerts, because they, still behave like it's 1987 over there. White Snake and Queens-Rike and Mr. Big and Docking and Megada. They still sell out soccer stadiums in Japan. Josh and I want to be a part of it. Italy will pay you to move there. What the hell is going on?

Yeah, it looks like there's plenty of cities around the country that do it here, too. Like they'll reimburse you for moving expenses, give you a little bit of a tax credit for the first year. You're talking about here in America or here in Minnesota? Both. Switzerland, Ireland. Don't bother. Take my word for it. Don't bother.

Just cold and rainy and you can't understand what anybody's saying in Ireland. And the food sucks. What else is going on? Yeah, I got to be honest with you, all these silly taco marathons and pretty much any eating or food-related contests have lost their luster in a big way for me. They're all the same to me now. But I'm going to go ahead anyway because we've got nothing better to do. So here's something now called the Tour de Donuts.

It's a 34-mile bicycle race in the state of Illinois, and what do they do? There are two donut stations along the way, and for every donut you fire down, I think they shave time off of your final score type of a thing. The Tour de donuts, everybody. Yeah, I enjoy donuts, but I don't need to get on a bike to have them. I'll just go to the store and get one. I'll just drive to Dunkin' Donuts. Yeah, exactly. Doesn't sound like a good mix.

You're getting tired of that stuff too. Hey, the Taco Marathon, the donut bicycle ride. Yeah, I don't really get attention to it. Anyway, this year, the winner of the tour to donuts ate 16 of them along the way. Purpity derpy, derpy, derp, derp, derpy dipp, derpy-dip-de-do. Sure's family's very proud. Carolina Hurricanes are fresh off winning the Stanley Cup. I'm sure they're having a terrific time with that, drinking beer all day,

having sex with anything that crosses their path. I haven't seen anything online about they must be behaving themselves overall because usually the cup winner some some gathering of journalists follows the cup winners around town for a few months to see how poorly they're behaving. I haven't read anything

about the hurricanes. I wonder if the 21-year-old Eden Prairie kid has had the cup come to town already this summer. I don't know who you're talking about. Yeah, I don't know. Sorry. Would it be Blake?

Blake? Blake, yeah. Okay. Jason, Jackson, something like that. Jason's son, Jackson, Blake. Oh, I don't know. Yeah.

If the cup's already come to town or not. Maybe there's someone out there that knows the kid. Has the cup come to town yet? We're asking our listing audience. I'm not sure what to make of this dude. Hurricanes forward Logan Stancovin. He was part of that cup winning club. Says here the dude is due to make $6 million next season.

but yet he's selling hockey sticks on Facebook marketplace for $175 a pop. Why is he doing that? I mean, what does some folks say, Josh? That's how the rich stay rich because they act broke. Yeah. They try to make a pocket. A lot of times, like, they don't have to pay for anything, it seems like. Yeah.

People want to take care of them. So some people are wondering what's going on with this kid. He's got all the money in the world, but he's selling a hockey. Maybe he just likes being on Facebook market. Yeah. How old is he? How old is he? It's a hobby.

They've got a lot of time on their hands right now. He's probably no more than a 24, 5, 6 year old kid. Oh, yeah, he just loves Facebook Marketplace. For sure. It's 23. 23. Facebook Marketplace is awesome. I love going on there.

What have you found there? What have you bought on Facebook Market? Anybody along, Ashley can start. I bought a pool once. You bought a pool? Yep. You mean like a kiddie pool? No, like kind of like in between like one of those smaller above ground ones.

Oh, yeah? A kiddie pool. Yeah, somewhere in between that. The above ground pool. I have a lot of things that I've, like, sent to my husband. I've been like, hey, see if you can get, you can get this. But I, uh, it never works out. Did you get them one of those sleeves?

For sure. No, no. Oh, I don't know. I'm just doing it. Not on there, no. Maybe you bought them a sleeve. I don't think you're supposed to get used ones of those. No, I don't think so.

All right. I look at a lot of vintage stuff on there. That's kind of fun. So this Stancoven kiddies, anyone else buy anything good on Facebook market? I've never been there, never sold. I haven't done that. Nothing really interesting. My brother Jeff is like a pro at this Facebook marketplace stuff.

He like scours it, goes through it all, and he's put together like a whole entire playground in his backyard, like a real deal like wood, huge slides for his kids all because of Facebook marketplace for probably like $30. He gets stuff for free all the time. People just want someone to come get their crap out of their yard. Yeah, I know there's somebody who buys things for cheap or gets things for free and then flips them. Yeah, smart. Classic country Jesus just texted in to say he bought a three-wheeler on Facebook marketplace. We'll see you in the emergency room.

I didn't think you could buy those anymore, even used. I don't remember the rules on three-wheeler's, but I know they're controversial because they mangled a few kids back in the... Oh, my God. Yeah, we had one on the farm. I love those effing three-wheeler. Me too. They are so much fun. You used to ride one on the farm, Brad? Yep.

Yep, we had one. Tipped it over many times. I'm surprised them a lot. Yeah, we used to... Those were pretty easy to tip. We were pretty reckless on those damn things, but we loved it. And I love seeing the old school three-wheeler's. Now and again, I'll see him at Brainerd at the racetrack and the campground.

Congratulations to you, classic country, Jesus. But for God's sake, be careful. Some random guy that was ice fishing near us one year had a three-wheeler that was like Jimmy rigged and it was like on the ice. It had like a roll cage and all this stuff. And it took me for a ride on that thing. and it was the most fun I've ever had of mine. I definitely thought I was going to die a couple times, but it was so fun.

So it was built to roll over? Yeah, if you needed it. Because he knew what was coming, especially after he had six beers out at the fish up. And on the ice. So much fun. So much fun. People, I mean, we're getting a lot of tax from people have good things to say about Facebook marketplace.

That's great. People are making decent money every month on it. I always get embarrassed to, like, post anything on that for some reason, because, like, I don't mind strangers seeing it and being like, oh, this girl's trying to sell this. but your Facebook friends can see when you post something on there. And I'm like, I don't know. What's wrong with that?

Do you have weird stuff to sell or? I don't think they're going to judge me. Like, oh, she needs to sell that dining room table. She can't just throw it away. Like she really needs that 70 bucks. I don't know why. It's like I'm all in my head about it. Command Beanhall and Jesus has spent about a collective 60 grand over the years on Facebook marketplace buying stuff.

Hell of a deal. Hey, Randy Shaver, a listener, text it in to say, tell Randy to buy my, drone on Facebook marketplace, L-O-L, you could get some pretty sweet pickleball footage with that drone. You want to fly that around the neighborhood, maybe, Randy? No, thank you. You could get some pickleball footage.

I don't need pickleball. Think about the footage. You guys know my old four-wheeler story when we used to go up north when we were kids to Bagley. My dad had some hillbilly pal that lived up in Bagley. So we'd go up there and horse around and kill snapping turtles and all kinds of other hillbilly things up there. And we'd ride these four-wheeler's around.

And, oh, man, we loved it. And we came close to death a few times. But the great story connected to the four-wheelers is one of my dad's best pals. J.C., wanted to be the four-wheeler police up there, right? All right, boys. You know, he was going to show us and tell us. So he sat us all down. You boys don't know what the hell you're doing.

on these damn four-wheelers. And we're a long ways away from town. One of your little peckerheads crashes on these damn things. There's not going to be much of a chance for us to help you. So you better behave. Now, he's got to handle a brandy in him already, J.C. He's already hammered. But he's going to tell us,

let me show you some bitches how to operate one of these pigs. So he gets on the damn thing. He goes around the property a little while. And he rolls it over. Oh, no. His ankle was the size of your mother. brother's ass when it was over. I bet.

But he's JC. He's a tough some bitch, right? He ain't, and he just got done telling us we're, you know, 300 miles away from the hospital. So, you know, he doesn't do anything about it. Just he tries to shake it off. We're laughing our balls off. He's going to tough it out and act like nothing happened. Well, the next morning, J.C. goes, probably had a little more brandy before the night was over.

The next morning, he goes walking out to the outhouse in his little tidy whitties to take a deuce. And he kicked a. stump with that bad ankle. And he sprayed it all down his leg. Oh, God. My dad was trying to have coffee and a cigarette in the morning. He got to watch that happen. Just filled his tidy whitties with nothing but brandy.

Kicked a stump with that bad foot. There it all went. But he was the four-wheeler. He was the mayor of the four-wheelers that weekend. He showed you guys. Yeah, he showed us what idiots we were. Two seconds in, there he goes. Bastard.

All right, there you go. Wow, Josh is right. I can't believe the amount of text messages we're getting here on Facebook marketplace and the items that people have bought and sold. One of these days I'm going to get a handle on this internet. I'll get you there. Actually, is that how you sold some chairs? I bet you obviously your wife must have done it.

Don't bother Nick. It's a fat. It'll go away soon. Yeah. Sold chairs, Josh. Well, that was the intent, correct? Right. Our intention was to sell them.

They were stolen. But that's a whole different story. Yes, my wife knows how to operate that stuff. Tonight, the loss, today at noon, the Los Angeles Sparks play here in town against the Minnesota Links. Oh, cool. A noon game on a Wednesday. Probably a summer camp game.

All the kids are going to be there. Once a year and they bring all the YMCA kids in, and they, yeah, make all kinds of noise and don't pay attention of the game. Sounds like it must have been one of your favorite events when you were working. Oh, yeah. That's high-pitched screaming the entire time. There are some of those Twins games where it's, you know, a getaway day.

And you think, yeah, a nice quiet day at the ballpark and you go there and there's 900 field trips in the upper deck. They're all screaming and yelling. Oh, yeah. I remember the field trips to the Twins game. And there were, like you said, a lot of different schools there on field trip day. Yep. We used to try to go over and see what those Coon Rapids chicks were up to.

You know what I mean? Maybe we'd, you know, we already had something going with our own classmates. Let's go see what the Coon Rapids or the who were the other ones you went for, Josh, back in the day. Some of the Richfield girls. Is that what you guys refer to as new stuff? Yeah, get some of that new stuff. Yeah. Walk all the way around that dome.

All right, Rainy Shaver and Bradrider, thank you very much. You bet. in a few minutes here on the half-ass morning show. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust Standard Heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy.

So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time. Get $75 off your first service or tune-up. And while you're added, mention 93x. Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you.

Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-L-K-E-L-K-E-L-L-K-E-L-L-K-E-L-L-E-L-L-L-E-L-L-L-E. And it spells relief for you. with Haley. I'm Haley Kareenia. I scroll with the homies here in the live chat because there's a lot to scroll through on X, on Instagram, on TikTok. Cutting through the clutter, one hot take at a time. Love seeing you all in the chat before the show. I tried to jump in just a few minutes before to say hello. I love the chat interaction. Thank you for helping. But I do it to get all of the videos

and all of the content that you won't find anywhere else. Scrolling with Haley. Just search that up and I will be there. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Half-assed Morning Show. 93x. She is 8.30 here on the 93X Half-Affast Morning Show. God bless each and every damn one of you. This has been really fun for me. Is everyone okay?

Sorry. Did you knock your face into your microphone? No, my hand went a little nuts there. Again, with the hand sanitizer. No, I don't have any. Oh, I thought you were rubbing your hands with hand. No, I went to move my hand and I hit the microphone. Okay, that's all right.

I'm embarrassed and ashamed. It sounded like your face. No. This has been really fun for me. Out of nowhere is we got to jaw jacking about Facebook Marketplace. Now, personally, never saw it. I think you'd like it on there. But damn, lots and lots of you have texted in.

A lot of you just hang out there on Facebook Marketplace. Buying, selling, this, that. Here are some text messages. People say, Josh, it's just, because you've been there, right? No. Oh. I use Craigslist. a couple times back in the day.

Oh, man, I loved Craigslist. I'm on Craigslist, baby. Like I shopped for a car once on Craigslist and gave away a few things on Craigslist. Big hit by Weird Al Yankabic back in the day. Crags List. Not as good as eBay, but still good. Similar, you've been on Craigslist. This is similar.

Facebook Marketplace. Do you guys want an oak dining room table with four chairs for only $50? Nope. Pick up in Minneapolis. Nope. I do need a dining room table. You need a grandfather clock. I want one and I was going to buy one and then something changed.

I'll find you one on here. Here's a guy just when you thought he couldn't become more dangerous. Now he wants to buy a grandfather clock. I got to hold off a little bit. People are telling me this is, Facebook Marketplace is, they're calling it one giant garage sale. Here are some of the texts that have come in on Facebook Marketplace. A lot of talk about cars, buying and selling cars.

One of our listeners says I'll buy a car of Facebook Marketplace, and then I'll buy up the parts to fix them. And then I sell the car. Oh, yeah, I'm going to be needing a new ride here, and maybe I'll look on Facebook Marketplace. I've read good and bad about selling a motor vehicle so far. I've read good and bad from our listening audience on selling a motor vehicle on Facebook Marketplace.

One individual says selling old cars on Facebook is a pain in the ass. There are too many idiots. I'll bet. Another says I sold my daughter's car cheap on Facebook Marketplace. And the guy never transferred the title and now I have to go to court. Oh, no. I had a friend that happened with a cell phone. There was like some major crime was committed.

I can't remember I'll have to ask him the details. It was like a month worth of going back and forth in court. Here's an interesting text on Facebook Marketplace. See if you can follow this one. My buddy got fired from his job a couple weeks ago. And yesterday, he went on Facebook Marketplace looking to sell a pair of headphones. And everyone made fun of him and called him a loser. That's not very nice.

He just lost his job. It probably didn't happen unless it was weird about it? That's a cold-blooded outcome there. Everyone made fun of him and called him a loser. Ha-ha, you're broke and don't have a job. Okay. It's not all roses. Yeah, that's... On Facebook.

I always, you know, I was worried of getting murdered or something like that or ripped off in some sort of scam. This is in your old Craigslist days. Yeah, so I still have that feeling about Facebook marketplace. Maybe it's different. Someone will abduct you and molest you and kill you. Something like that or like some sort of financial scam where they're way smarter than I am. And all of a sudden, you know, the couple of bucks in my checking account. is gone. You're just looking to sell

an old acoustic guitar and now you're chained to some fellow's basement? Yeah. Yeah. Well, the nice thing about Facebook marketplace is you can verify that they're in actually human and who they are who they say they are. Unlike, I've told this story back in the day when I would go and swap WWVHS tapes with strangers

at Burger King that I met on AOL message boards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should have been kidnapped. I know. I should have been in drunk. We ended up creating an on-air character. That's right. The day you first told us about your Burger King, WWE, pay-per-view swaps. Yeah, we got a picture of them around here somewhere. We got a picture of them around here somewhere.

That's some bitch. I think you can, I mean, a lot of cop shops let you go to their parking lot to do exchanges to make sure you're safe. Hogbauer Automotive. I know they allow people to do that in their parking lot. Are they not sponsoring today's show? Today and every day. Hogbauer automotive. Or you can use like those Amazon lockers too, those like lockers that they have at different locations.

Interesting. With Facebook, really? I thought you could use them for like any kind of exchange. Maybe they're not Amazon lockers. They're just like lockers in general that are like that. But when, what am I trying to say? My favorite thing about Facebook Marketplace is it's like a running bit online, how women will always send like their husbands to go and pick up what they want on Facebook Marketplace.

And then on the flip side, the person selling it. she'll make her husband go out because she doesn't want to be the one that has to meet a creepy guy. So then it ends up being like two dudes when it was supposed to be two chicks. And they're like, ah, yeah, your wife said you? And that's the same here. Dana, you know why you weren't kidnapped according to Eric? Why's that? You just don't have that it factor.

You don't have it. You're not kidnappable. No, no, we'll try another one. Are you the kid who's selling this year's Survivor Series? That voice kills me. every time. You saw who won Survivor theories, didn't you? Were you rooting for the hitman?

Did you hear about Chris Benoit? Here's a guy who said he went on Facebook Marketplace and bought a billiards table for a hundred bucks. He says this thing is probably worth three or four thousand dollars. Yeah, some people just don't know what they have. Does that mean, Josh, that someone was on their way to prison and just needed to get rid of all of their possessions? It could be something I think you said this, Ashley, where people, it's a large, something big.

They don't want to deal with getting rid of it. They'd rather just let somebody else have that problem. You see a lot of free, like pool tables, chess freezers, nobody wants to move that. We got a bumper pool table when we were a kid when we moved. I was in sixth grade, we moved. And it's because the people didn't want to get rid of it. And they just threw it in with the house. Because nobody wants to play bumper pool.

Dude, I was just going to say the same thing. I thought it was great. Oh, really? Yeah. Whenever I walked into a house with a bumper pool table, my first question was always why. We never, you know, we didn't have anything. I never thought that seemed like a rich man's game. I always thought bumper pool was so dumb.

That's what we had. That was great. Where was I going with this? What were you saying? You said something and I was going to go in a certain direction. About people just wanted to get rid of it. Oh, right. Too much of the pain to get rid of.

Now that you've said that out loud, that makes perfect sense. Absolute perfect sense. You don't care if you make a dime, just get this effing thing away from me. totally get it. I am in that situation right now. People are saying, like SpeedBump Jesus and a few others are saying there's a lot of great free stuff on there. I'd imagine it's just for that reason. Oh, free stuff. I didn't know that. The Craigslist thing, I just gave away some stuff.

I just saw a free vacuum. I didn't know they had free stuff out there. Okay, that's interesting. Our neighborhood has what's called on Facebook a buy nothing group where if you have something that you just have no use for anymore, you can put it on there and then people can put it in a claim for it. All right then. Now, Jesushausen has texted in to say that he is his wife's Facebook marketplace bitch. She must send him over there to buy and sell things.

I hope he shows up to buy something from his wife and he's in full Danhausen makeup to some complete stranger. It curses them if he doesn't get the price he wants. Here you go. Here's a listener who says, when my old man died, I gave away his pool table for free because I didn't want to deal with it. Now, our listeners texted in to say, if you want a good laugh, for mirrors on Facebook Marketplace, and you'll see all the weird poses people make to stay out of the picture.

Oh, yeah. I've almost made that mistake before. Sometimes they might even catch a naked lady in the background. From what I understand. No, yeah, I've seen photos like that. It's probably on purpose, right? Or some guys in his underwear accidentally takes a picture. You want to sell me a full-length mirror.

If it includes a picture of you, Topless, it might encourage me to... Is this true? Lister says you can buy used or slightly used panties on Facebook Marketplace. Does that happen, Josh? I don't know. I've never came across that. Usually eventually it'll like tailor to what you like.

Panties? Yeah, so it's not something I often look up on. Right, yeah. Actually, I just clicked on my Facebook Marketplace. There's nothing but Nintendo, Lego stuff, WWF magazine from back in the day, things like that. Yeah, mine's all like vintage stuff that I would have to redo myself because I thought that I was going to be one of those people. Unbelievable how many texts we're getting on this.

So many of you are involved. I think maybe last year my wife educated me on it. I thought when she was saying something like with Facebook, you're just posting it to your pals. Like, hey, does anybody want this? Anybody want to buy it? I didn't realize it was a Craigslist. Oh, yeah.

You make the announcement. Anybody who's there can see what you're selling. It's not just. Dude, free chicken coop. Just listed in St. Paul. All right, let's go. Yeah, check it out. Are you wanting?

one? No, I wish. I would love that. No, my dog would murder them. He's already killed three. A free chicken coop. Well, now we're talking. Whoa, somebody just texted, they got some construction equipment. Former baggage handling, Jesus. Are you in need of some construction equipment? Not in need, but it'd be kind of cool. How about this question? And I'm going to jump in right away and say, yes. The question is, anybody want to buy my Nick Van Exel, authentic Lakers jersey on what do we call it? We've been talking about it for 10 minutes now.

Facebook Marketplace? Yes, I do want to buy your Nick Ben, Axel Lakers jersey. Free sod? You can get sod on Facebook. God. That's telling you. Facebook Marketplace. And a chicken coop. I know a lot of people, Josh, that have Facebook just for Facebook Marketplace. You could be one of those people. I've got myself a backyard now, Josh. I've got some sod and a chicken coop. Heck yeah, you do. There's people are saying they get free hot tubs, indoor sales. Just stuff people want to get rid of. A gazebo would look good in your backyard with your chicken coop and your sod.

And maybe most importantly, what a few people are telling me via the text machine is that they've gained something that money can't buy. On Facebook Marketplace, they've made some friends. I made friends of the guy on Craigslist once. Stop. Stop. Yeah. Want to see the guy who wanted to watch the Survivors? series?

That was a guy. I made a joke to my ex-wife. I said, I'm going to go buy these Super Nintendo games from this guy in Craigslist. If I'm not back in a half hour, just assume I'm dead. And I go to the guy's house and usually, you know, they just meet you at the front door, handsy of the games. He goes, yeah, they're upstairs. Come on, come on up.

Oh, that would freak me out. So I go upstairs and we go into his game room, and it looked like I designed the thing. It was beautiful video game posters, big shelves of games, TVs to play them on. And we got to talking. We got to playing video games. I was there for about two hours. and I left my phone in the car. That's crazy, dude.

So my ex-wife assumed I was dead, like she was panicking, because I never don't answer my phone. I always had my phone on me, but I got so lost in playing Turtles in Time with this new friend of mine that I just lost track of time completely. The game was called Turtles in Time. Ninja Turtles, I'm assuming? In time.

They time travel on that one, Nick. Forward, backward? Oh, a little bit of everything, Josh. You know what? I friggin' knew it. I knew those peckerheads would figure out time travel at one point or another. Somebody mentioned, when did this show turn into Tradio? Yeah, I've listened to a couple of those before.

Diapers, Josh. They'll sell you diapers on Facebook marketplace. Stuff's expensive. Tradio? Tradeo. What is that? Like sometimes small towns will have like, oh, yeah. You know, Jeff over there, he's got a new shovel.

He doesn't need it anymore. Already buried the wife. Right. He'll trade it for a car station. I didn't know that. That's awesome. It's a learning experience for me. I want to tune in to one of those. Sorry if we're coming off like Tradyo,

but this is all very new to me and I'm enjoying myself. Well, it's obviously very popular. You're very popular. That's not true. I'm seeing a guy in St. Paul that's selling off his laser disc. Oh, man. Laser Disc Collection. You want to watch some old Laserdisc movies, Josh?

My uncle had some of those. I thought that was the coolest. I'm looking. There's some good titles. And here they've got Mars attacks. They got 48 hours, Beverly Hills cop. One of our listeners went on Facebook Marketplace and bought a camper and an F doll. Wow.

Which he now takes camping. Did you get him from the same person? He didn't say. He didn't say. This isn't good. People are saying, you know, some of the items we've mentioned folks are saying those likely stolen, likely stolen, like construction equipment and things like that. Oh. I wouldn't have thought of that.

I never thought of that either. So some of this stuff might be hot. and they want to get it off their hands before the authorities show up. You know what? They probably thought that about some of the stuff my husband was selling on behalf of his Papa that passed away.

It was like the dude just loved buying anything and everything for fishing or, you know, guns, hunting, anything that's manly. And a lot of it wasn't even like out of the box yet. I bet a lot of people were like, where'd you get this from, you little sketchball? Now that I think about it, We've had people who no longer work here because of their Facebook marketplace extracurriculars, I guess.

Well, I don't recall that. Like, hey, where did that microphone go, Facebook Marketplace? Really? Where did this and that go? Facebook Marketplace. You'd have to tell me more about this off air because I don't recall this. Well, that's great. It sounds like fun.

It is, yeah. Maybe I'll join you sometime over there. Maybe I'll check out the free stuff. Maybe I'll... I get addicted to it. I can believe that. I can believe that. You're just scrolling and scrolling.

Breast milk. Yep. You can buy that. Don't do that, though. It's dangerous. That seems dangerous. Well, I mean, a lot of this stuff might be dangerous, yeah, but... I do worry.

Just rolling through. What do you worry about? I do work, like, if I was going to sell or buy something on face, that it would be a situation where I'd be murdered. There are certain cities on here that I'm like, if I really like something, I'm still not going to go get in. Oh, sure. Ashley, in the advertisement on Facebook marketplace for the camper, inside the camper, sat the F doll.

So when the guy bought the camper, the F doll came with it. That's her house. It makes sense. She lives there. People are texting in some screenshots of various items being sold where they're using AI to put bikini models around, like vehicles and hot tubs and stuff like that. I'm going to have to stop by. I'll see you there. I've got myself a copy of.

King of the Ring from 1997. Dana, if you want to meet me over at BK, I'll hook you up with it. We can swap. I'll bring your Royal Rumble 1994. VHS. We'll take a break and come back in a couple of minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Buy-in and selling.

That's what our listeners do with their free time. Buying and selling things on Facebook Marketplace. Very interesting conversation. Very interesting to me. Now, before we go, something else we covered earlier, something that I also found interesting, something called a psychosexual evaluation. We had a story in the stupid news about some wacko

who was running around town in broad daylight, wasn't he, Josh? And he was using a vacuum cleaner hose on his pecker. Everyone in the neighborhood was supposed to watch this, right? He's 51-year-old man, that's what he did. Broad daylight, noon. It was right around noon, high noon. he's out in the, uh, had a reputation for public masturbation walking around with his pants off. Yeah.

It's kind of his thing. They said he loved to beat off in public, this guy. And they mentioned in the story that he was headed to jail and also a psychosexual evaluation. And we all thought, well, what the hell is that? I'd never heard of that before. That sounds pretty serious. I even said, well, maybe we should all take one. And then Josh looked it up and he said, no, no, no, we shouldn't take a psychosexual evaluation.

There's nothing fun about it. But I did have a listener texting in who knows that. a thing or two. Here's what he said. He said a friend of his had a run in with the law and had to sit down and take a psychosexual evaluation. This listener says it's done by a specialized psychiatrist. It takes four to eight hours. Wow. Sometimes more depending on if more information is needed. It costed $3,000. Sorry. It cost $3,000. It cost $3,000. dollars and the evaluation is to determine if you're going to be the next Jeffrey Dahmer type or you just have fetishes it's there to determine if you're

going to be a danger to the public or not and then treatment recommendations are given this person that our listener knew was deemed non-dangerous with fetish fantasies Jesus what a hell of a operation that uh Sounds like. Would you guys be a little nervous what it finds? I mean, I know you're not like deviant lawbreakers or anything like that. But what if I said, hey, you know, that's kind of weird, bro. I would be a little nervous that where I'd sit there arguing back and forth.

No, that's not that weird. And the psychiatrists would say, yes, it is. So this individual was found to be not a dangerous character, no danger to the public. This individual just had some specific fetish fantasies. That sounds like thin ice. Roastmaster Jesus said, hell, I'd be worried I'd want to end up having sex with the person, giving me the test.

I was kind of wondering. Let's say the other person is not concerning. It's like, yeah, you know, you just kind of, you like to try different things. This is completely normal. But I do wonder if there'd be some sort of vibe in the room. You know, you're talking about this stuff. Boy, I'd be sweating it out.

This person isn't a violator. It's just a horny person. I'd be sweating it out if I had to four to eight hours. No, thank you. Do me and the psychiatrist, do we go to lunch together at something? Yeah, you have to. Take a break and get a meal and we're not even done yet. We're going to come back and sit down.

Well, but I mean, sounds like necessary stuff, though, for some of you. Sounds like, Josh, didn't you have a friend who ended up on the neighborhood, what do they call it in the business? Yeah, no, it's, I know you're going with this. I was going to bring this up. He was, he almost had to register as a sex offense. That's what I was going for. And he's a stand-up dude.

There's no way he would do anything like that. And the reason was really stupid. They went after him because he took a leak. He was drunk and he peed in an alley about a block away from a school. Now, keep in mind, this is like two in the morning. There's no kids anywhere. Of course not. But, you know, rules are rules or whatever.

And so he had to go to court for it. He had to hire a criminal defense attorney and everything. And he's like. The guy's taking a piss. a city block away from a school at 2 o'clock in the morning? Yeah, and he's like, I might have to register as a friggin' sex offender. All I did was take a leak while drunk. He had no idea there was a school, a block and a half away.

He was a bachelor party he was at, and he just went outside to pee. And that was that. He's sitting in the same waiting room with the molesters. Yeah, that's nuts. Can you imagine? Not fair. That sticks with a guy. Yeah.

I mean, having to explain every time. Well, this is why I'm on the list. I had a buddy with a similar thing, Josh. In college, he got caught public urination and ding. Inkytown just out behind the bar got a public urination ticket. And they said, okay, we're going to put you on probation. You don't do this for a year. You'll be fine.

364 days later, he got caught doing it again. And he nearly got put on the sex offender list. But they ended up tossing it saying, well, you know, you're damn near a year. Just quit pissing in public, you moron. Oh. I can't even imagine. I mean, that was there when it wanted to happen to, and the cop was like, put your dick back in your pants. Still gave him a ticket, though, huh?

Yep. Let me see your hands. I told you guys not too long ago, my son had a football tournament, and the ref went in the middle of the parking lot in the middle of the day and just went for it. Just went for? Yeah, I mean, there were porta-pot. It wasn't, and he was probably 20 feet away from four porta-potties. I don't know, he seemed like he was miserable.

Didn't want to be there anymore, and he just said, F it, I'm going to pee in the middle of it. And not, like, concealed by a car right in the middle of it. middle of the parking lot. If I had a ref youth sports, I think I'd be so just over it that I'd just take a dump in the parking lot. Maybe that's what it was. It was the last game of the night. And they were there all. He was there all day. All day.

That's how you get yourself excluded. All right. We got to get going again. Boy, we do. Gosh, time flies. It does. Shout out to Stop Ski Construction. Today's there Friday. They're heading to Rock Fest, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, sure. Good luck to soon-to-be paralegal shezes as she goes in for her last

day at the law office. and bus driver Jesus. They're moving to Kentucky tomorrow. What the hell are you doing that for? I believe these are the same ones I met on the boat, and they just said, just for the heck of it. Well, fun. They basically threw a dart at the board and decided, let's go to Kentucky. Of all places. They're going to be forever known now as

what in the Kentucky Fried F, Jesus, and Jesus. Happy birthday to little turtle from dad, big turtle. Got another turtle. Happy birthday to turtlehead. And that is from Clean and Sober Jesus. Wish I had more middle fingers for cancer. Jesus wants to wish a, meh, 26th anniversary to his meh, old lady. The wish, excuse me, the reason why I wish I had more middle fingers for cancer, Jesus. And he said he hopes to provide some meh anniversary sex tonight.

Sounds fun, sort of. 93x. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on to Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life.

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