93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Super Diarrhea

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

Doctor P answers medical questions. Death sexting. Everything you wanna know about Nick hating E.T. Originally aired Monday, July 13, 2026. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good. What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at Standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back.

With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93x Half-Ast morning show. 90. All right, let's go ahead with this. We might as well just welcome to the Half-Ast Morning Show. It's our Monday program, and you know what?

It ain't so bad. Sometimes cracking the mics. Sometimes cracking the mics on this pig. At 540, well, today it's 543. Sometimes it's just the last thing I want to do. But today, it ain't so bad. And I think that's because I've still got such a good feeling from last Friday. And those good vibes have carried over to today.

For those of you who missed it, I'm sorry, maybe next time. But for those of you who did join us this past Friday on our post-independence Day, Booze Cruise, you were a damn fine crowd. You've given me a good feeling that has stuck. And that good feeling absolutely helped me, Josh. It helped me to roll out of bed this morning without thoughts of violence. Oh, that's great. And what a change that is.

Yeah. That's awesome. Without fantasies of terrible. I appreciate it, everybody. Friday was just a riot. I really think it was one of the best boat. parties we've had to date. Yeah, I don't want to, you know, put any bad light on any of the other ones because

they've all been great. I've mentioned many times. They weren't all great. Well, early on, some of them were bad. I mean, I'm just thinking recent memory they've been great. Yeah. And where was I going with that now? Something about the good vibes?

Yeah. So I guess basically it was probably the best one we've ever had. Oh. I absolutely loved it. Lost my voice at the end of it, like usual. I have a weak baby voice. Yeah, that happens to me. too, though. It's all right. Oh, I didn't know that. Yours too? Yeah, because you have to talk a little bit louder,

and that just, that ruins my voice for me. And I usually don't talk for, you know, that many hours straight consecutively, nonstop. I met this guy and I met that gal. The shirts were so awesome. You know, I met some people for the first time and then there were others that I had met before, but it really was one pleasant encounter after another. So thank you for everything. And there was cheese. So that was pretty cool. Yeah, it was different food this year. That was cool. A lot of people brought that up that, you know, nothing against hot dogs or anything, but they thought it was a nice variety. I got to keep my status as Nick's best friend because I now own a zero-turned lawnmower. I'm so happy for you. Yes. Yeah, you tried to pull this off Friday. That doesn't count.

It does count. Listeners said this counts. I was gifted a little cabota zero-turn lawnmower toy. Oh, shut. And right here. Oh, you didn't see this? Oh, you weren't aware of the bit. No. Yeah, I brought it in with me. I tried mowing the lawn with it yesterday.

It took 14 hours. Oh, yeah, I bet. This is only like two inches long. Dude, I was so excited because we just, well, we just acquired a riding lawmower. We didn't buy it. It was like a from my husband's parents. So I thought like, oh, my gosh, yeah, we can talk about how great it is to not have to use a push mower. But never mind.

I knew the bit, actually, but the genuine excitement in your voice. and happiness for Josh was adorable. I was so excited. Dude, I was so excited to ask some questions off air. Like, where'd you get it? How much did it run you? Well, if I got a bigger one, Lano Equipment, three locations, LanoEquip.com.

But yeah, this one, you know, it's a little two-incher, and this guy was so nice to give this to me. And I believe, Dana, you had an accompanying gift from the same person. Oh, did I? He gave you a T-shirt? Oh, you did? Yes, okay. Well, I didn't realize that they were one in the same person.

I thought you meant, like, I also got some type of toy car. Oh, yeah. He brought it with him. What was the T-shirt? Tell everyone what the T-shirt said. Yeah, the T-shirt said, best friend runner-up. So you are still the runner-up,

and I still hold the crown as Nick's best friend because I have a zero-turned mower. Nick said if I don't get one, I can no longer be his best friend. Well, I believe the ruling is up to the best friend over there. Right. Well, there was no, you never said it had to be a real one. I don't understand this victory parade that's happening right now

because I'm sorry, Cubby, I'm going to go ahead and say that a toy mower does not count. Well, you never said that at first. I think you understood what I meant. You're changing the rules. I didn't make any rules. I think it was very clear what I meant. A toy mower is not going to cut it.

Wow. We still have the whole summer to decide this. Wow. What if I got another one? What if I had two exactly like this? Can I see that real quick? Your toy zero-turn lawnmower? Got a little too much gusto.

Yeah, that's aggressive. You just threw my brand new toy in the garbage. I didn't throw it. I dropped it into the garbage. That's not fair. Why would you do something like that? Those good Monday vibes are already dead. That's so perfect.

Hey, I got to ask you something. I'm grabbing your mower. You can have it back. Is there a chew spit in there? No. Okay. Not yet. No, not yet.

Did they put photos online? And if so, how much crap am I getting? This is adorable, this little cute zero-turn mower. I love that. This is the first I've had the chance to get a close look at it. I don't think there's any photos of you that I saw yet, Josh. It's mostly just listening, so you're in the clear. Let's keep it that way.

Let me check. I don't know. I could be wrong. I'd like to keep it that way because usually the day after the boat cruise is when I get ripped on a lot. For good reason. People came up to me and were saying things. It was very rude. Oh, I haven't seen any pictures at all of Friday night's event.

What other experiences did you have, Josh? I mean, you were the – you're always the dude who – I mean, you don't rest until you've had a conversation with every swing in D or V that stops by to see you. The rest of us do try to kind of get lost now and again. Yeah, I can't stick around you for too long, Josh, or else I just have too many conversations with people. It's exhausting. At the end of the cruise, I just was making a B-line out of there.

And you seem to have so much you wanted to tell me. So are there any other experiences that stuck out other than this little total? a lawnmower gimmick that you thought had gotten you off the hook. More than anything, I just wanted to see because unfortunately I don't get to talk to you guys a ton at these things. But I just wanted to see your experience

how it was. I never made it up to the top. You didn't make it further than 10 feet from the start of the boat. That's true. Actually, I never made it to the middle part either. I didn't mention it. The line to talk to Josh was like the line for Santa Claus at the ball. Nah, there was no line. Anybody that was there thought I was Ashley.

That was interested. That is how. it usually happens. You take about six steps onto the scene, whether it be a boat or a parking lot or whatever, you take a handful of steps in and you stay put. And you really do enjoy talking with as many people as possible. I made it to the top deck for about 10 minutes. It was way too hot. And it was way too loud. So I brought myself back down to the air conditioning. So I was just curious if there was anything else that stood out for. I mean, yeah, there was a couple of things. I don't know if people want me to say necessarily what they brought up, but there are some things that really meant a lot to me. sharing stories about themselves.

And it was a blast. I mean, really, everybody I talked to, I could have talked to forever. They were awesome. You know, we were trying to get to visit with as many people as we could to thank folks for coming. And I don't know, thank you to everybody for being so cool. And it was, it was great. It really was, I think, the best one we've ever had. One of the biggest reasons, one of the main reasons or biggest reasons why I think there was such a good vibe on the boat and it's carried over to today was some news that Ashley

received Friday before the cruise, if you feel like sharing that with us, it put everybody in a little bit of a better frame of mind. Yeah. Oh, geez, I might cry, which is pretty good because I haven't cried on air like this whole time. But we found out that my son's bone marrow biopsy is clear and that he doesn't have a gene marker in his tumor, which makes it more likely for cancer to come back. He doesn't have that either. And so, yeah, he has no more cancer. Your son got a clean bill of health on Friday before we went on the cruise. And so many people did ask me about it. And they would ask me if it was okay to ask you about it. And I told them what I knew. And I said, absolutely. Approach Ashley. Tell her how you feel. She's welcoming conversation on the topic.

And our listening audience approved what we have already known for many, many years. I mean, they're good people who truly care. And I thought it was great that so many folks were able to express that to, on Friday. Everyone was so, so nice about it. It was awesome. And I love any excuse to be able to talk about my son. So I was able to talk about him all night. Yeah, you've picked up some of those typical parental traits. I love it. You're just looking for a reason to talk about your kid. He's so wonderful. I had, yeah. It's, it was definitely one of the best days of my, probably the best day of my life. I'm going to throw that on for myself, too. That news was awesome. It made Friday night even better. there was a couple of times that I had to hold back a little bit.

One time I kind of got teary-eyed from somebody telling me a story. I'm like, my God, I'm going to be crying in front of a bunch of people that I haven't met yet. You laughed, you cried. Yeah, it was awesome. You lost your voice. You got a boner. I did not get a bono. Never once.

You know, someone mentioned the attitude shirt showdown, so we asked everybody to go ahead and wear their favorite attitude shirt to the cruise. it was funny as soon as I got out the car and had a conversation with our promotions director, Amy. Amy said, hey, everything's going well. You know, I think she told me Josh has made his way down the road to the freight house if you want to go have a quick beer before we take off. And she said, my only complaint is, I don't know how I'm going to post any pictures of this party.

And I said, well, what do you mean? And she said, well, the attitude shirts, a lot of them are so filth. I'm going to have to blur them all out in order to post them on the internet. There was some really funny stuff coming from these attitude shirts. Some of the stuff that really grabbed me were the homemade t-shirts.

There were some of you who... There were a lot of those, weren't there? They're so good. There were some of you who went ahead and made your own t-shirt based on show-related material. T-shirts based on past stories that have been told on this year.

radio show. My two favorites that I can remember was a t-shirt that on the front, it simply said, pst. And on the back, it said, could have killed you, which is a reference to a kid that I grew up with, who dressed up as a ninja almost every day and threatened our lives. No joke. I was going to make that t-shirt. Were you really? I was glad I didn't after I saw that. That's funny. Another listener wore a t-shirt where on the front it says corporate radio rules. Oh, I missed that one. And on the back, it said, we win again.

If you don't know those stories. That was Red Butcher Jesus made that one, Ashley. Oh, he's so good. I'm sure we'll share those stories again soon enough. The other, there were, I mean, there was an endless amount of funny, funny attitude t-shirts. A bit that I'm not a huge fan of, but maybe I've changed. my opinion now. One that grabbed me and there were multiple people wearing this t-shirt

that said, this orgy is off to a really slow start. Did you see the couple? The guy had a shirt that said I put the D in Freedom and then his, the woman he was with said freedom on her shirt. Yes. Yeah. I missed that. There's a picture of them up on

the 93X Facebook. Oh, is there? Okay. So there are pictures being posted already on our website, on Facebook? I know for sure on Facebook. I don't how to get to them on the website, surprisingly. Oh, I thought of it. Here's one I wanted to bring up. I met a race car driver. A race car.

Yeah, he races up at Brainerd. We didn't get a huge chance to talk, and I'm going to go watch him, one of his races. And so if he happens to be listening or the crew he was with, they said they emailed me, but I didn't get it. So I don't want him to think I'm ignoring him because I can't wait to go watch him. So he's like a 10-time champ, and he was saying I could come up and take a look at his car and stuff. So I'll be damned. I want to bring some friends up there and watch them race. But I missed the email so I don't have a way to contact.

I found out on the cruise that I had been in a car accident. Oh, yeah. Wait, wait, what? So did I. I found out you'd been in a car accident. Well, it was it you, Josh, that told me this story? Someone approached you and said, how's Nick doing since the car accident? I met a guy in the bathroom, you know, where a lot of guys meet.

And, you know, he's, I asked him, oh, you're going to be in a car accident. on the cruise. He had one of those shirts on, you know, an attitude shirt. He said, yeah, actually, I'm glad I ran into you. I wanted to see how Nick's doing. And I said, oh, you know, I appreciate you asking. He's doing good. And he said, well, you know, I mean, since

the car accident. And I thought, did I take a hit to the head? And I told him, like, the incident. I got to be honest, I don't know anything about a car accident. Unless he got in one on the way here, I don't think there's He's like, oh, I heard that he was in a car accident.

Probably was the Reddit crowd maybe started that rumor or something. I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure it was something like that. I appreciate the. He was very concerned. I appreciate the concern. I, as far as I know, I have not been in a car accident since I was 12 or something along. I think I was 12 or 30.

Yeah, I've had an issue or two here lately, but it had nothing to do with a car wreck. That kind of stuff cracks me up. Yeah. Well, if it's on Reddit, it has to be true. I was scared for sure if it was read it. He mentioned that. Oh, I'm just taking a guess. I thought I definitely missed something.

Or maybe for a second, I thought maybe somebody hit your car in the parking lot while you were on the booze cruise. So then you found out when you left, like, oh, I got into an accident. But I'm glad to hear you didn't get into a car accident. No, no car accident. I'm glad that I wouldn't have forgot such a thing. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's no way you would have forgotten. No, you would have sent him like cookies or flowers or something.

That's true. I got to mix nuts. from his last thing. Did you go through those mixed nuts yet? The last time, yeah, I had some A week or two ago. Had some issues a week or two ago, and Josh got me a big bucket of mixed nuts.

No, I have not gone through all of them, but I'm enjoying. But you have open, you've cracked them open. Oh, I love, oh, I'll, cashews, almonds. I'll eat all of them. Pistachios. I love them. All of them.

You mind what? I was shopping with my wife, and she started reaching for the unsalted ones. And I thought, what did I mean? Mary here. Why do they even sell that? That's not right. It doesn't make sense. Give me the extra salted

ones for a guy. So there you go. We had a wonderful time, Friday. Do they make extra salted ones? They should. Extra salted. You can just add your own. I've done that before. It doesn't stick the same. Yeah, that's a good point. You know, we have a lot of fun back and forth talking about, you know, our booze cruises.

We'd like everyone to be adults about it. That would, we have. was the slogan we had on the t-shirts that were sold Friday night and thank you for grabbing up those t-shirts that's a little extra beer money that I could use this time of year we joke around about let's keep the noise down let's behave ourselves um and i mean my damn it was just a great crowd and it was really fitting i think josh that with the theme of friday's cruise being let's be adults about this it was fitting that the boat which was scheduled to return to the at 10 p.m. got back at 9.45.

Yeah, wow. I was confused by that. We were getting ready at like 9.35 to start talking. And I thought, my gosh, that went really fast. And somebody said, no, we're early for some reason. It was beautiful. Usually they're on the nuts. Perfect. Maybe that was a joke played by the captain that we weren't aware of.

Like he was playing by the theme of the party. Like, let's be adults. Let's even get done early. I could see him doing that too. I had no problem with that. It's funny. I don't know if he wants me to say his Jesus' name or not, But a guy came up to me at the end of the cruise. He's like, hey, I got to get something off my chest.

He's like, I know the slogan. I know it's let's be adults about this. But I was up top and I was not an adult for a while. I guess he like maybe had his shirt off and was dancing like crazy. Got a little too much to drink. Yeah, that top deck crowd. Sorry, I didn't get to know many of you up there. Like I said, I made it about 10 minutes.

It was too warm and too loud. And I said, F it. I'm going to play Cubby version two this time. around. I'm going to stay in the air conditioning, which we did. Yeah, it was uncomfortable out there for sure. Offended millennial Jesus wants to know, okay, if it wasn't a car accident, was it a skydiving accident? Oh, was that the same day I had my deal? When Josh had a problem with his gas stove? No, no, no, that was years ago. Thank you for asking, though, again. It was not where I was skydiving and Josh was trying to light a gas stove, but you had a great

memory for bad jokes that have been told here on the program. Later on today, Dr. Peter Jesus is going to stop by. He didn't make it to the booze crews, but maybe he'll make it to the next, which will be in September. So here's the deal. We made it through the post-independence Day, boat party. Next up is the half-ash

morning show, the half-assed morning show summer bash on Thursday. If we can get through that sum bitch on Skaith, I would consider ourselves the luckiest morning program in town. What's the weather going to be like? 90 degrees. Jesus. Is it really?

I didn't think of that yet. It's not going to be as bad as yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I'm pretty my portable fan. It's still going to be quite warm all week. Not as oppressive as today and tomorrow, but it'll be noticeable. So you'll have to wear again a hooded sweatshirt. A thinner hooded sweatshirt. Dude, I will never understand that.

At this point, it's whatever. A lot of people, they talk behind your back, Josh. They do. Oh, they'll talk in front of my back. I do the same thing. Yeah, I get crap for it all the time. They ask me over and over again, why is he wearing a hood? And I said, I don't know why he's wearing a hood.

I don't know. If you want to know why, come back with a warrant, Narc. I mean, we know you're ashamed of your body in all the time. I just don't know how you can do it. I just like him. When we walked up to the freight house Friday before the boat took off, it was 85 or so degrees. And, you know, as my wife and I and a couple of friends and we're looking for, for your table.

And I said, well, I already picked Josh. We were a good quarter mile away from the freight house. And I said, I've already picked Josh out of the crowd. And my wife said, how do you know? And I said, because he's the only guy wearing a hooded sweatshirt. That is true. That doesn't make it easy to find you, though. That's kind of nice.

Well, I tell you what, I feel for folks like Mexican rice runner Jesus and anybody working outdoors or in a place without air conditioning this week, that's going to be miserable. I'm at a guy that does black top paving. Oh. Who? Leonardo? Oh, yeah. Is that what he does? Leonardo.

Yeah, that's right. He was the one that said that. He does that. He's going to be, this week, I hope he gets some time off or something. It's going to be deadly today and tomorrow. That's why he's so tan. Yeah, he looks gorgeous. Yeah, his beautiful skin.

Yep. Bronze. Bronze noggin. I would be so red still. Leonardo's got that little pea head of his, and it's beautifully tanned because he stares at blacktop all day long. It's 300. 70 degrees, but I don't know what. Oh, poor guy.

Sounds awful. My dad used to do that when he was younger and he said he hated it so much. Beautiful. So there you eff and go. If we can make it through Thursday, the Creed show, the summer bash. If we can get through that one, by God, I'd say we've done all right this summer. From what I've heard, there won't be a lot of residual body heat coming off a big crowd. So it might be a little more room, elbow room.

So we're not to worry about that adding to the heat out there. What else is going on? Did I miss any damn thing? That's everything. That's the whole weekend. Oh, man. Oh, fireplace Jesus is on roofs all week. Oh, yeah, and the guys that do insulation?

Oh, no. Josh, do you wear hoodies to hide the bruises? Again, come back with war. One listener wants to know if you're hiding the bruises, the marks. Your wife is really strong. I kind of did a little bit of a Josh imitation yesterday. I felt Joshy because I found myself strolling around the Science Museum. Oh, cool.

I love the Science Museum. I know you do. What brought you there? Were you leading a field trip? Boy, wouldn't that be something. What brought me there? I'm not drinking any beer right now. That's what brought me there.

Oh, uh-huh. That's what happens. It wasn't because of the car accident and because of a different issue. I haven't been drinking any beer now for a couple of weeks, and I won't be able to for a couple more weeks as far as I know. Thank you for your sympathy, Ashley. Yeah, it's been, I've never gone this long without beer. So when you're, when there's no drinking, Josh, you kind of run low on things to do.

You get real creative. You get desperate, maybe is the word. My wife brought it up. She said, you know, if you'd like to go on a little bit, how do you say it, an adventure on Sunday, she said, I'd like to go to the Science Museum. Did they still have, like, those piano stairs? Oh, those are the best. If they have piano stairs, I did not walk upon them, nor did I see them. Last time I was there, they didn't really work.

Oh, they didn't? Yeah, every time I've been there, they don't work for me. Maybe I'm just stupid. Don't know what I'm doing, but. That is not my style. But we had a good time. We went and saw some video on the big, what are they called that F and C. The Omni Theater.

I think so, yeah. What were they playing? Well, they played a few different shows. We watched a program on animals in the wild, which get mangled and run over by, you know, milk trucks and things like that. And then human beings scooped them up and repair them. It was about a animal rescue joint in California. California that picks critters of all types up off the road and saves their lives. That sounds pretty cool.

Was there any, like, special exhibits? Like, sometimes they have that body exhibit. Ooh, that one's gross. If there was a special exhibit, I did not notice that. I went to a mental health one once, and it was really, really cool. Did they keep you? No, no, they didn't. They tried.

Did they threaten to keep you? But it was really sweet. It was your typical scene, as far as I can tell. I hadn't been to the Science Museum. and years and years and years and years. It was just we wandered around and saw the this and that. We went to see that video. Friggin, like I said, when there's no beer involved,

you take some chances sometimes. Did you have fun? Yeah, I liked it. It's always great there. I did. I'm all right with it. There's some cool stuff. Yeah, we learned things.

That's the goal. We went there a couple times for a school field trip, and it was always a blast. You're talking about when you were in school, or you were chaperoning some children? Well, I guess both. I was more thinking when I was in school, but yeah, we've chaperoned a couple of those.

There you go. One of them, Ashley, was that body's exhibit. Yeah, that is so nasty, but so cool at the same time. Yeah. Yeah, we took a look at some hearts and brains and things yesterday. That's the fun stuff. Me and my friends used to get, like, uncomfortably high and then go to the museum. That was always a lot of fun.

Comfortably. The last time I went to me and my husband, and went together. And it felt weird not having a kid, especially when you want to actually engage in the exhibits and, like, press the buttons and do the fun stuff. So I'm really excited to go back now that we have a kid. That was the thing.

I mean, go crazy. You had to get just real, real high and then go sit in that Omni theater. You know, some of the little walk-up games and whatnot that test your brain or your reflexes or whatever. I mean, it's a little bit of everything. I can't even explain some of the little walk-up hands-on activities you can do. But some of them, I mean, did just make you feel as dumb as the day is long. I mean, here my wife and I are a combined age of, we're not kids, not by any stretch.

And we just simply could not figure out what they were asking us to do. And I thought to myself, man, there are some brilliant children out there because these are activities that children are supposed to be able to figure out. We were completely lost on quite a bit of it. Did you see any fossils or anything? I always thought that was kind of cool. Sure, sure. Fossiles.

What in the world? Somebody texted in and says in 2009, they were on a field trip at the Science Museum, and their friend ate a pubic hair off of the body exhibit floor for 20 bucks. What do you mean? I don't remember pubs. What do you mean? They don't have pubic hair.

That's a joke. That was just a random hair that your friend ate for $20. Or somebody put that there. There are no pubic hairs falling off of mummies. No, everything's like enclosed anyway. Whatever you call a dead body. So random. Yeah.

No, that was dropped there by someone wearing basketball shorts or something. Don't put me in that. There was a drugged up dude about to masturbate at the library that put that there. They didn't put that there as part of the exhibit. No. No, no, no. Absolutely not. No, this person got back and said, no, I plucked it off a dead body.

No one plugged it. It never happened. I thought they were all behind glass. They are. Nobody plucked a pubic hair off of a dead body at the science museum and then ate it. Are you sure you're at the science museum and not just in an alley somewhere? I wouldn't need a pubic hair. Some of these stories never happened.

All right, we've got to take a break, ski. But again, thank you, everybody, for Friday. And we hope to do it again soon. We'll tackle the stupid news here in a handful of minutes. Welcome back to the Half-Ass Morning Show. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good.

What's going on, Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better.

Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work, and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensations. benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com.

That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Jim Rome takes on sports. I will always have a complicated relationship with this game. But people evolve. So do sports. Do not make me regret this. Do not make me devolve.

Back to that guy. that so many clones wish that I still was. And do not embarrass the entire country. Now, I can go back. I can get there fast. Lose tonight. And you got a real problem. Do not blow it.

The Jim Rome Show podcast. You've been warned. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. Got a spirited crowd out there, Cubby. Let's really try to go out there and win this one. You know, a few minutes ago I was talking about my beautiful buy. has had this or that going on with it lately,

and I've had to put a lid on the beer drinking for a while. Sucks. I don't really know what to do with myself. It leads me to do things like go to the Science Museum. What if you like it too much, and you don't end up going back to beer? Do you think that'll be a thing? What if I like sobriety too much?

Is there a chance? No. Okay. Unless I'm four. I can take a breath of pressure. Yeah, that sigh relief was so great, Ashley. I just want to make sure. Sure. You know, when you got pregnant, it was the best you're talking about what you're looking forward to the most at that time was not the birth of your child. It was going back to all your bad habits before you got pregnant.

Yeah, all my vices. I was going crazy, dude. Yeah, Ashley, I'm always relieved as well to know that someone is a drinker. I don't trust sober people. I just don't. The only one I trust is Josh. He's still a little iffy. He is. My wife recently asked me, because it's been a couple of weeks or so, I can't remember. She said, well, what do you think of sobriety? And I did say to her, I said, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. And she said, so, I mean, if you get the all clear, you know, at one point or another, which I think I will. She said, you know, will you change your approach at all?

And I said, I'm not too sure. I said, I'm always going to want to have a few beers now and again. Always. It's just a couple people have texted already with some sympathy on the no drinking. And I said, here's the good news. Those first two or three that I suck down when I get the green light, oh, those sumbitches are going to be delicious. I wonder if your tolerance will go down. Definitely.

Oh, absolutely. I don't know how long that takes. I mean, you've got a whole lifetime of drinking. So I wonder how quick that changes. There'll be a difference there. I'm sure there'll be a difference. But it doesn't take long to build it back up again. So anyway, yeah, I mean, I'm going without the beers for a while.

Here's a listener who texted in on the subject. And he said, I went without drinking for 11 years, he said. And then I turned 12. That's Adam doesn't piss me off anymore. Jesus. That's great. It has been a while. And my hope is it's only temporary.

And I think it will be. I think it'll just be a temporary thing. I think once I see a doctor and this and that, it brings me back to an old boy, boy, he's still kicking too. Old friend of my dad's. One of the funniest lines I heard on the topic of trying to quit a bad habit. I heard this when I was, you know, 12 years old. I don't know if it would hit me the same now, but when I was about 12 years old, this buddy of my dad's was telling the other old boys in the

room about his battles with chewing tobacco. And he quit chewing tobacco for about a year, but he couldn't, he couldn't hold it. He had to go back. And he said, and he's still kicking, so it didn't kill him. He said at the time, he said, I went without it for a year. And he said, I put that first big dip of Copenhagen in my yap, and he said, boys, it was better than any sex I ever had. And all the other, you know, all the rest of these hillbillies were cigarette smokers and tobacco chewers. And they all went, oh, yeah, I get it. As a 12-year-old, I was like, really? Better than sex?

I didn't get it yet. Oh, yeah. But the older boys were like, yeah, I get it. All right. So, here we go. Well, Allsack, no shaft Jesus said to tell you, Nick, good luck. You can do it. Today's 17 months sober for him.

Congrats. Yeah, so you're built tough like that. I don't know how some of you do it. Here's a listener who's asking me now that I'm not drinking. Are you having more dreams? Good question, because I have heard. Oh, is that a common thing? I have heard stories that holding off.

on your favorite what's the word I'm looking for vice quitting your favorite vice whether it be drinking or smoking or chewing I've heard that it can lead to very vivid dreams

my answer would be no my dreams have not changed at all but good question those smoking cessation medications are well known for that I mean I've had people say that some of those dreams were violent and insane super real

You hear that? I'm sure you guys have heard that a million times. Right. Maybe that's what this listener is thinking that maybe I'm on some type of meds. I'm not on any meds. But yeah, those are wild stories, Josh, that we've been told of folks who take anti-smoking drugs. What's the proper word? Like, you know what I mean.

Yeah. No? I don't know if, I mean, I've heard certain brand names. I don't know what you're supposed to say. But people know what we're talking about. Yeah, I don't know if it's gum or what it is. but I had like my sister-in-law and my brother-in-law, her husband, they quit at the same time and they said like that was the worst part,

some of those dreams. Yeah, I haven't had those yet. And a couple quitting at the same time. I'm glad they survived. They're divorced now. Oh, never mind. They are. I'm going to turn my mic off.

Slowly back away. No, it's hilarious that you mentioned that. The other common bit that you hear if you quit smoking or quit, drinking is you eat yourself into oblivion. Yeah. Yeah. That hasn't hit me. That hasn't hit me either.

I'm probably eating less. You looks like you've lost weight. I have. I've lost like 10 pounds already. But anyway. I gained it. Oh, of course you have. You guys have mentioned this.

You get bigger and bigger all the time. I hope that maybe by the end of summer, we'll see. I'll keep you posted. I just don't know how long this is going to take this and process. Let's get into the stupid news. Let's begin with this gal here. And she's a real cutie pie. She is. She's still single at 51 years old, and I think I've figured out why. It seems to me she gets her kicks out of texting death threats to the men in her life. And if you're a single gal, that just ain't going to get it done. Smart to put that in writing.

Yes, right. Your death threats? Absolutely. Make sure it's on record. This gal by the name of Tammy, she's just the latest in an endless sea of stupid idiots living in the far, southeastern United States. From what I can follow here, Tammy doesn't understand the sexting game. Instead of maybe now and again sending a beave shot or a topless picture to her dude friends, Tammy gets all bent out of shape for one reason or another. She flips her lid and she takes to dump in death threat texts. on all the dudes in her in her life. We know all this because her guy friends and ex-boyfriends upped and told the police about it.

Now here's a sampling of some of the text messages that Tammy has tossed out to her boyfriends. Oh, yay. It's nothing brilliant. Nothing wildly unique. One of the texts she sent said, I will kill you. Another said, I have a gun and a bullet with your name on it.

One of Tammy's ex-boyfriends got a text from her that said this. I have friends who will end your existence. And another said this, I know who you are. Well, I would hope so. You've got my name and number in your... I know who you are and I will take a shotgun to your loser-ass face. Drag them. That's so much.

That last part's kind of funny. Luser-ass face. It's okay with being shot, but come on now. Lose-or-ass face. So the cops had to go ahead and arrest, stupid idiot Tammy. It says here that Tammy was just in trouble not that long ago,

but that was for drinking and driving and being in possession of nitrous oxide. What does she got going on? She likes to party. It wasn't that long ago We told our nitrous stories around here Jesus, that terrified me when I was a young guy What are you people doing?

That's the same as the stuff The dentist gives you, right? I really don't know. I can't remember where we land on this every time. Yeah, I know we've talked about it. I forget every time too. Maybe it's all the nitrous I do And it just wipe my memory.

Sure. I thought if I was ever going to be hooked on a drug, it would be that nitrous or whatever the dentist gives you. That stuff's incredible. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. difference between what the dentist gives you and what I saw those hippies roll into a beer party at the U of M 35 years ago. I don't know the difference, but it scared the hell out of me. Now, this puts a nice bow on the story. Okay, back to Tammy, the death threat lady. When the local cops asked her, they said, so what's the matter with you? Why are you always so busy sending death threats to all of your dude friends and ex-boyfriends?

Why, what are you doing that for? Tammy said this. She said, ah, Christ, it's just what chicks do. Is that true, Ashley? No, no, no, no. You ever texted a death threat, Ashley? No, you haven't. Yeah, let's check your phone records on that one, Ashley.

Probably not in a serious way. That's just what chicks do. Never once got a beave shot. What? No, I mean, I've got like a top-down, full frontal, but never just like a beef shot. I don't know if I could handle a beave shot. Never had a one-night stand, never gotten a beave shot.

No. How is it that you don't? I've gotten a nude once or twice before. Maybe a topless photo. Why did you have to twiddle your fingers when you said that? He did some serious jazz hands. I was being scandalous. This is why.

You've received a nude. Is that what you're saying? Indubily, yes. And some topless, but never like a gynecological close-up of a beve. Here's a listener that just did. texted in and said, why did Nick stop drinking? I just caught the end of the story. Well, I was in a car accident. No, you weren't in a car accident. There's a rumor that Nick was in a car accident.

It was not in a car accident. If a guy in the bathroom tells Josh that you're in a car accident, you were in a car accident. It's just a silly health-related thing. I'll get back to you on this. Because I haven't even seen a real doctor yet. I'll get back to you on all this. But yeah, I'm holding off on the beer for now, just to be safe. So, Josh, never once did you get that beve shot? Not just the beve, no. I've got the whole. Ancelada. Check your gut, G-chat, Josh.

Okay. Well, well, well. You have a beautiful vagina, Dana. Oh. I'm sorry to hear that, Covey. Well, I'm all right with it. Like I said, I'm not so sure. I know.

You're built different. You don't. That's a little too much. Right. Slow down, pal. You are so Christian. It just drips off of you. It seems like an invasion of privacy almost, you know?

That's just so. close. Isn't it funny Ashley hearing a guy talk like that? Yeah, it is. All right. Ashley does not know anyone else in her personal life a guy who would say something like that.

I don't know if any of us do. I don't know if any of us do. I like the woman's form. I'm just saying that seems like I would be violating trust or something. It's a little too much. Dana just sent me a... I thought you were kidding that you sent anything via G-chat. And he sent me a picture of

Jerry Mathers who played the beaver on Leave It to Beaver. Oh, sure. Gave him beef shot. You sure did. You picked him up. You dropped him. Jesus wants to know more about my medical condition and why I'm not drinking. He said, is it erectile dysfunction?

No. It might be someday. But no, it's not erectile dysfunction. Beer can cause that, though. At least temporarily. Can beer, actually? Oh, I have no idea. I always heard it's like hard liquor.

Yeah, I guess maybe it's more hard liquor. I mean, mass it's. Maybe you're right. It's just alcohol. Mass amounts of anything, alcohol-related, I'm sure, can give you soft, Peter. But you know what you do? What? If you have to, Josh, in an emergency, just fold it in half.

You know, a few people on the topic of penises, a few people have texted in and said, you know, this weather obviously sucks. What did you say earlier day? It's like a hundred and something. It feels like temperatures, 100 and something. He'd index 100 and 2. Ouch. Some people are saying that the summer penis is very important. impressive right now.

Yes. That is an advantage. That gimmick shows itself every summer when we get these hot snaps. A lot of people text in about the joys of summer penis. It's a real thing. Yeah, if you have to, boys, if you had too many, just bend that some bitch in half. And you'll get it to go. We once tortured one of my pals at the bar years ago.

I mean, he was so effing drunk. He was just. almost completely unconscious. And he had rested himself in a corner because that was the only way he was going to stay upright. Needed both walls? He needed both walls to keep. And here comes this woman had come to pick him up.

It was like a booty call, right? She shows up. I can't believe she didn't just walk in, take one look at him and just drive away. Because this was a booty call. And it was obvious. There was absolutely no way. No way our bro was going to get it.

done that evening. Absolutely. He could barely even keep himself breathing. But the gal, she was still willing to take him out of there and give it a, give it a shot. On his way out, we said, hey, Donnie, Donnie. And he could barely even comprehend what was happening because he was so hammered. He finally looks back at us and we said, hey, bro, just fold it in half, man. He gave us the dirtiest friggin' look. And I wanted to say, who are you eyeballing? You really think you're going to get it. on. Look at you. Full of it in half, Donnie. You're going to pass up before your clothes are off. Oh, God. No way he didn't fall asleep as soon as he got in her car. With his shoes on, too. Oh, yeah, everything on. Peeing in his pants, everything. I bet he peed his pants in her car.

Now, why, Josh, I feel the need to keep going on this. You've never gotten a bebe shot. I never just the beaver. I don't really know where else to go with it. What did you say? I don't know. I don't know. That sounded so silly. No, I sounded like a kid. I feel like we should continue with this, but I don't really know what other angles we can take.

It's just really interesting. I get a lot of attacks of various types of, not the private part, but various types of beavers. It's been very funny. Oh, yeah, sure. Shaved beavers, all kinds of beavers doing different things. And then a lot of Jerry Mathers in various stages of his life. You know, other listeners are texting in saying if you're in that state, if you're so drunk, you don't think you can get going down there.

Boneski. Border States Jesus says you've got to kind of crack it like a glow stick. Oh, no. Oh, Border States, Jesus. I'll have to ask my buddy Donnie, who was so hammered that night, if he's ever tried that. Because it wasn't the only time he's been that drunk and had female comments. You know, wonder if he ever cracked that some bits like a glow stick. Boy, instead of bright green, that'd be bright red.

You can do some damage. Oh, that huckleback, terrible. Remember the story, Josh, my buddy. This isn't Donnie. This is another chronic alcoholic that I know. At my house one night, he's just finger-banging his phone the whole friggin' night. And he's just disgustingly drunk, right? He didn't want to play a part in any conversation we were having.

sitting out on the patio having a good time back when we were still relatively young and i finally said hey bro what are you doing over there with the with the telephone and he said well i'm a gal i know up north is sending me some pictures and i said oh well you got to share it with the crowd and he did he was kind enough to share it with the crowd and she was in the shower she's on her bed She's hanging from the chandeliers, all these different. And I said, well, you got to hop to it now, bro. And he said, what do you mean? I said, well, you got to reciprocate.

Is that the word, Josh? Yeah, perfect. I said, you can't leave her. She's sending you all these wonderful pictures. You got to send her something. And he was kind of thrown by that. Not that I truly cared. I was just trying to F with the guy, but I said, yeah, you got to send her one.

I said, you can go ahead in my house, go ahead. I said, there's no one in the house. Go to the bathroom, whatever you want to do. Send her a shot. He was in there for like a half hour. He comes back out, you know, barely able to walk and sits his carcass back down at the picnic table or whatever. I said, well, how did it go? What did she think?

Oh, I didn't send her anything. I said, well, what the F are you doing in the house for a half hour? He goes, oh, I, uh, I couldn't really get it going. He tried. But you know what it was, Josh? What's that? Assault with a dead weapon.

Yeah. So as far as etiquette goes and the reciprocation you were talking about. Okay, cool. We're back to this now. Yeah. If a young lady, appropriately aged lady, text you a picture or whatever she sent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, do you, it seems to me like I'd want to wait for a request to send something back. Yeah. Okay, yeah, you don't want to just say, oh, she sent this to me. No, no, no. That was just part of the game we were playing with the drunk guy. Yeah, you don't want to do that. Because women do that just for the heck of it, but like men don't really mention do that. You shouldn't feel obligated to send anything back.

That was just a game we were playing with Dinkas. Okay. Yeah. Good. That's good to know. And it was just like a, like a water. Silly putty. There wasn't a damn thing you could do about it. Only did that once, and it took forever to try and get the right angle and make it look like...

Oh, I can picture overstressing that so much, Josh. I can't believe... I adjusted the lights. I can't believe that you actually once did send a D-pick. It was a long time ago. She must have been so hot. I mean, to get you, to get you, Josh, the straightest-st-laidst-laced guy I noticed in a D-pick? She must have been something.

Yeah, she was something. All right. Now, continuing on with today's report, why would anyone do this to people to their fellow man? How could somebody... It says here, uncomfortable dork virgin computer hackers were able to send out some type of fake alien invasion warning to folks in Brazil. Thousands of people believed it. And they took to run in for their very lives. the nerd virgin computer hackers

were able to stab into the official Brazilian emergency alert system whatever that is I'm sure you can figure it out so you know it was believable they were able to hack into the official emergency alert system in Brazil why would they do that Josh I mean I can see the humor

but if it's the official one that might freak some folks I would assume it was that you know how we've heard this before, right, where the whatever, let's say the city you're in or whatever has their emergency alert system. They have like a test funny one and then

they accidentally broadcast it to everybody. I would assume it was something like that, especially if it's a UFO, but in Hawaii there was one where like, hey, missiles are coming, everybody, you know, tell your boss to F off, go spend all your money and hide somewhere under a palm tree.

One of my buddy's parents were in Hawaii when that happened. They were driving. Were they really? Yeah, they were driving down the road and the I don't remember if it came through their car stereo or their cell phones or what, but a friend of mine's parents were in Hawaii when that fake missile threat happened. Did they freak out? That I don't remember. Oh, I would. I'd believe that one. He told me how they reacted years ago and I've forgotten now. They're older people. They might have just leaned into it. You know what I mean? They might have just said, well, it's about time.

Whatever. Thank God. Yeah, I wasn't looking forward to paying the credit bills. or credit card bills in this incredibly expensive vacation? I would imagine because they were in their 80s, and they're still around, by the way. They've got to be 90 years old now, these people. Awesome. They said, I would picture them saying, well, we're in our 80s, we're in Hawaii.

Who cares? What a way to go out, you know? I know it's happened a bunch now, but the first couple times I heard about traffic signs saying something about zombies, where some kids kind of break into the temporary traffic sign. I thought that was kind of funny. So here we go.

The nerds hacked into the official Brazilian emergency alert system and fired out this message about an alien invasion. So it says here, imagine being in bed, sound asleep, because this happened at 1.30 in the godforsaken a.m. Imagine being in bed, sound asleep out of nowhere's an official emergency alert goes off on, say, I'm going to guess the cellular telehealth. and then imagine that it starts barking something or another about a full-on four-alarm alien invasion.

What would you think about all that? I have no idea how I would react to that. Well, I would assume it was a prank or something. But at the same time, you know, the government's releasing more and more videos of... Well, now that you mention it, now that you mention it, if it said a missile attack these days, I'd buy it. I'm not saying I'd run and jump out of a window screaming bloody murder. I'd probably ask somebody about it, maybe like Google some things. Oh, I would make a few telephone calls.

A missile attack, I would believe it. An alien invasion? Yeah, I think I would, at first I would think, okay, this is a joke. Yeah, I would think it was a prank or an accident. So this fake warning hit at least seven different cities in Brazil. Apparently one of the alerts featured a message where a voice said, Protect yourselves. Alien attack.

They have arrived. is all that it's said. Later on, the Brazilian National Defense, the real deal Brazilian Army or someone close to that, they had to step up and make an announcement, and they had to say, look, we were hacked by virgins, you can stop running for your lives, we're all right. Some dude on Twitter has admitted that he was the guy

who hacked into the, and the cops are going to get him, or maybe they won't, who cares? But some dude has stepped up to claim this disaster. Does anyone, when the aliens show up, does anyone think it's going to go well? It seems like most folks believe it's going to be a negative thing. Oh, it's going to go terribly. It's going to be one big orgy. They're going to hate us.

It's going to be an orgy. Yeah. We hear they like butt stuff. That's true. Maybe you're on to something. I don't have any idea. I have no feeling on how it might. how things might play, play out when the aliens finally get here officially,

like in the movies when they all show up in the spaceships. So if your wife comes to you and said, holy cow, I'm watching the news and the aliens are here. There's a mothership right above Toronto or something. Would you think they were there for nefarious purposes or just wait and see? I would assume just because of movies and stuff like that. I have nothing to base it on other than movies. So I'm thinking, this is what I'm thinking, Cubby.

Oh, yeah. You do speak Martian. Yeah. I'm thinking it's going to be full on like alien. What was that movie called again? Mars attacks. I love that movie. I'm thinking bad things. Yeah. I'm thinking bad things. Oh, Jesus, look at the time already. Let's blow through this one real quick. I've really never ever been dialed into the whole UFO thing. It's been going on for decades. I'm talking about the ongoing, you know, have aliens already visited Earth? What secrets are the government keeping from us? Are aliens already living amongst us? This and that. Never been interested in the whole smear. If you are the type to enjoy all that visitors from outer space jibber-jabber,

here's the latest from what they call the UFO disclosure movement. Here's what's going on with that crowd. Word is the United States has. its possession the dead bodies of four different kinds of space aliens. These are supposedly four dead spacemen who have been found by the government in separate downed spaceships over the years. You understand what I'm saying to you? Sounds sweet. So this is again something that the United States government doesn't want us regular dildos to know about. They don't think we could handle the truth. Did you know this by God?

Now, I have no idea what the exact type of dead spacemen that the U.S. government has laid out in the basement of the White House or wherever they're hiding these carcasses. I have no idea what type of dead spacemen they are. But a UFO nut job here in this article names the supposed different types of spacemen that they believe are out there summers. Okay?

this UFO guy, someone who spends their entire lives following this, they have four, what is it? One, two, three. Four different types of aliens that they believe are out there. They have names for them. I didn't know all this. They are the Nordics, the grays, the insectoids, and the reptilians. I'm pretty sure the reptilians and the grays are both from

well I don't know if this is where they originally got it from but I watch like a Netflix show that's an alien I think it's called alien or resident alien I was just going to mention resident it's hilarious yeah isn't I know the grays are definitely a species of alien in there but I think the reptilians are too what yeah if you're looking for just a weird

comedy resident alien I think is incredibly funny so good The sheriff on there? Awesome. They just came out with a new season, too. Here's what it says. The Nordics look a lot like us humans. Okay.

The grays are tiny little hairless bastards with big oversized eyeballs. They're the most commonly cited aliens. Again, according to this one UFO fanatic who contributed to the article, reptilians are lizard-like creatures with scales and a long tail, and they often walk on two legs. and the insectoids supposedly resemble a praying mantis. Oh, that sounds like the absolute worst. They are...

Once again, the TV show, though. I think this guy watches the TV show too much, do you? He watches Resident Alien. What does it happen, it? The insectoids supposedly resemble a praying mantis and are bug-like beings, and they reproduce by anal? That can happen. Yep.

It says... True story. Why does he know that? I don't know why he knows. I don't know. I do love this. I usually am drawn to a space invaders type movie. I love Mars attacks.

I love close encounters of the third kind. People are saying disclosure day is very good. I never saw it. It's a new one. Independence Day is total dog feces. I liked it at the time. What else is there? What are all?

E.T. Awesome. I was rude, but you guys know, I rooted against E.T. I don't know how he could. I couldn't wait for them to beat him. him and cut him open. Even though he was a beer drinker? What?

I thought you'd respect E.T. because he was a beer drinker. I didn't know he was a beer drinker. Yeah, there's that scene where he drinks a bunch of beer and then Elliot feels the effects while he's in school. Yeah. No, I know. I see where you're going with that, but I wanted E.T. debt. That's crazy.

I remember standing up in the theater, crack him open. FBI! F.I. Crying at the first movie I've ever seen. Beating him to death. Kill him with him. baseball bat. Yeah.

I was anti-E-T. Get him out of here. That's so messed up. He's hanging around kids. That's creepy. Well, maybe he was a kid himself. H-back delivery, Jesus brings up a good point. He said, Earth, that's the planet aliens locked their doors when they are about to pass by.

This is a bad neighborhood. Kids lock the door. Yeah. Look out for those grays, though, Ashley. A little hairless. some bitches. You just want to crawl right up your pant leg and take a bite out of your ass. I think I'm more afraid of the praying

mantis type. It bites heads off. Yeah, that sounds absolutely terrifying. Reproduce with the butt. Yeah, I don't want to reproduce. I'm scared. You have butt babies running around. I'll tell you right now. We've got to take a break. We'll check the sports. Take that back.

In the 60s, I made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain. And possible a man slipped in would be no way of knowing the 93x half-assed morning show i was over here sports on the 93x half-assed morning show oh that's right something is expected from me yeah usually about this time i was over here finger-banging the uh the text machine got a couple of texts on drinking or quitting drinking i mentioned that I've got a little bit of a health thing happening here lately,

and I've shut down the beer drinking for now, hoping that, I don't know, in a month or something, it all depends on what the doctor says. So I've shut down the beer drinking. Listeners are guessing what might be happening with me. Well, first off, one guy says I quit drinking once. It was a worst night of my life. Another text he didn't is guessing that I'm not drinking because I'm bipolar,

I'm not, I don't, I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't know. I don't know enough about that. Does that affect? Is that something you're not supposed to do if you're bipolar? I don't have the first clue. Do I show any signs, Josh, of being bipolar?

No, you're just totally polar. Just singular. Yeah, you're polar. That's it. One pole man. You're a great crowd. What do we need to cover here real quick? The twins are done with the first half of the baseball season.

And they finished it up? One game under 500? That ain't bad. It's pretty freaking good. I told you, bastards, I wasn't going to be that bad. He's Brandy Schaber and Brad Ryder were thinking they might not win a game this season. They're one under 500 going into the Allster.

Tonight you get to watch that home run derby, Josh. I don't get into it as much as I used to. No, nobody does. Nah. When I was a kid, I mean, that was awesome. Yeah, when you were 12, there's nothing better in the sports calendar than the home run derby. Back, back, back, back, a lot of backs. I mean, yeah.

Back back. And this has been the situation for you. years. I flip on and off. I'll catch a good amount of it tonight. I'm sure I will because there's likely nothing else decent on television and sure, watching some big steroid tigers a rip a baseball 500 feet is still fun for me. Just a heads up for everybody. It's on Netflix. Oh, yeah? Only Netflix, really? Yeah. I appreciate that. I would have never, I would have never figured that out on my own. I bet a lot of people will be looking for it tonight and not be able to find it. Uh, yeah, you got that. We'll tell you all about it at 730.

Randy Shaver and Bradrider should be swinging by at 7.30. But yeah, the twins are done with the first half of this season, and it ain't been that bad at all. Josh's news is coming up next. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust standard heating.

They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time. Get $75 off your first service or tune-up. And while you're added, mention 93X. Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer.

Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bealchi-Ealthy. bulky law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Hey, I'm Chris Van Fleet. Go behind the scenes and beyond the headlines with the biggest names in pro wrestling and beyond. Jeff Jarrett, great to see you. In this business, the story behind the scenes, so much more entertaining than what you see on camera. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman. Mr. Heyman. You are a master at the little things.

That's how you turn good into great. What does it take to achieve greatness? Whatever it takes, I'll willing to do. That's an Emmy wedding performance. How about it? Insight with Chris Van Fleet. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. This area is so safe. I just can't believe that happened here. I mean, I know, but things can happen to anywhere, but it's just, that's terrible for families and kids at a pet store. A 75-year-old Florida man turned a trip to the pet store into a master class and how to

fetch a felony after pepper spraying a family because they wouldn't pet his dog. Oh. You will pet my dog. Around 8 p.m. Wednesday, Marshall Avner walked up to several kids at pet supermarket in Gainesville and asked if they wanted to pet his dog. When they ignored him, he changed tactics. So he's at a pet store with his own dog? Yeah, he brought his dog. Okay.

And he asked the kids if they wanted to, quote, pet me instead. Oh, darn it. Wait a minute. The children's father confronted him, and as the family walked away, witnesses said, Avner tried to touch a child from another family, sparking in a little. argument with other shoppers. He's a child toucher. Seems that way. That's when police say Avner pulled out a bottle of pepper spray and let it fly. Six people, including children, caught a direct hit. Court records say Avner kept spraying as he took off and drove away.

When deputies caught up with him, he said he used the pepper spray because one of the men was chasing him out of the store. When asked what his deal was, he told cops he didn't really know why he made the inappropriate comment. But he did do that. He did. deny touching any children accusing the victims of lying. Well, if someone's going to lie to you, well, then that's what they get. A pepper spraying and a groping. They lied to me. I love that how he's calling other people out for supposed offenses. Yes, especially minor compared to what he's accused. Yeah. Right. These people are liars. How's that dog doing? Can we take that dog away from him? That could use a different owner, couldn't it? Nothing kills the party faster than

the bus showing up in a stranger's living room. A party bus plowed into three vehicles before crashing into a house in North Carolina early Saturday morning. The party bus. Right about 1240 a.m. People still partying on the party bus? They were. Oh, no.

Until that happened. Ironically, the one person whose one job was to stay sober allegedly couldn't. The 58-year-old driver of the company vehicle was behind the wheel while under the influence. Everyone else was there to party, and police say the driver decided to join in, and he had a revoked license as well. One person had to be taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. As for trusting this guy to chauffeur your night out in a rolling nightclub, you might be better off getting chauffered by a blindfolded teenager, or Timberwolf Lamello Ball, or Viking Jordan Addison. Because less than a month ago, he was arrested for a hit and run, where police say he was also driving with a small. suspended license and no insurance.

And if that driving dossier wasn't already packed bumper to bumper, he also has a pending DWI charge from April. What the hell is he still doing driving that party bus? Maybe they don't check records and not furries, lying through his teeth. And this went through a house? Yeah, went through a house after crashing into three cars. Ended up in a living room. Everyone.

Everybody's dead? No. We're here. Nobody's dead? Nobody's dead. Oh. Can you imagine, like, some of the people in the back might have been more sober than the guy that's supposed to be driving drunks around. Yeah, that's not right.

I believe this is the kind of story the Internet would describe as new fear unlocked. An airline passenger was partially sucked off the plane when a window blew out of the fuselage and nearly upgraded him to unexpected skydiver. Dude, that terrifies me. F me. The bowel evacuation at 30,000 feet. happened shortly after takeoff Friday on a Ryanair flight from Greece to Germany. Passengers said a piece of the engine broke off and slammed into a passenger window, shattering it. A 61-year-old Serbian man was lifted out of his seat and left hanging head first out of the opening.

No! His wife prevented an even worse ending by grabbing onto his legs and keeping him in the plane. Those on board suddenly heard a noise like a tire bursting before screams broke out. The head and shoulders of a passenger was out. outside a window. After descending below 10,000 feet and burning off some fuel, the crew safely landed in Greece about 75 minutes after departure. All the while, his skull was hanging out the side of the airplane.

They were able to pull him in. Oh, yeah, he was out there for a bit. Did he say anything about what that all looked like? You know what I mean? It was beautiful out there. Just majestic. Windy is F. Oh, was it cold?

I bet it was cold. Yeah, when you're up that high, you'd think it would be freezing cold. That's the way they portray it in the movies. but I mean this guy as horrified as I'm sure he was, he got a point of view that almost no one else has ever had the chance to get. So I'd like to hear what it all looked like. Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out the right side of the plane, you're going to witness a guy who's about to die.

Can you imagine half out the window? I would never get by the plane. I don't think there's... I mean, how would I get home? There's nothing that would prepare us. or something like that. While we're on the subject of in flight. But he's okay now.

Yeah, he's okay. He's all right. His trousers aren't, but he's okay. No. While we're on the subject of in-flight nightmares, thankfully, nobody had to make use of this little airline amenity on that flight. Here's a random airplane fact about one of one airline's most depressing storage compartments. Singapore Airlines has a special compartment in some of its planes to hold a body

should someone kick the bucket during a flight. Wow, that makes sense, I guess. If I die in a flight, I don't want to ruin everyone's day by making an emergency stop. Just put me down to the luggage and deal with me later. Let's throw you out the window. Yeah, there you go. If there was ever a sign the universe wanted you to log off, this might be it. A 13-year-old Cyprus, Texas boy survived being struck by lightning inside his own bedroom.

I honestly thought that I was going to die. I did not think I was going to survive that. I don't know how I survived it. The Gen Alpha Gamer was doing what Gen Alpha gamers do, Unk, grinding through video games. Then Mother Nature said game over, delivering a painfully high voltage power up. Everything was going fine. I was just playing games. I was not expecting anything. So I got shocked. During the gaming session, a lightning bolt struck a nearby tree, traveled to the house,

then landed a direct hit through a metal part of his desk, which was touching his stomach. He said the blast launched him across the room, rating the pain a six-sacled. on a scale of 1 to 10. I just, like, jumped out really fast, and I just started screaming. It was crazy. Firefighters say the electrical current also traveled through the home's wiring, sparking a small fire in the attic. Officials reminded residents that during thunderstorms,

it's best to stay away from corded electronics, electrical wiring, and plumbing, because lightning can travel through a home's systems. That's mental. That's a great story he's got now, though. Oh, heck yeah? He's going to be the coolest kid in school. Absolutely. That's sick.

If you're wondering just how much electricity Mother Nature throws around, the average lightning flash carries enough energy to power a 100-watt light bulb for about three months. And about 8.6 million lightning bolts strike Earth every single day, roughly 100 every second. Some sad news as Sam Neal, the star, the blockbuster movie Jurassic Park, died this morning at the age of 78. Neil passed away in a hospital in Sydney, Australia, And according to his family's statement posted to Instagram, his death was described as sudden and unexpected. In 1990, Neil played a Soviet captain in the hunt for Red October.

Then in 1993, he had his biggest year ever as an actor, scoring the role of Dr. Allen Grant and Stephen Spielberg's Jurassic Park. Dr. Allen, what? Grant. Following his reprisal of the role of Dr. Allen Grant in the 2022 film, Jurassic Park Dominion, he revealed he'd been diagnosed with a rare type of cancer. He revealed in April, though, he was cancer-free. On the small screen, he starred in several popular TV shows, namely the Tudors and Peaky Blinders.

Sam Neal, dead at 78. That's a sad one. Not that I ever need an excuse to watch Jurassic Park, but I'll definitely be watching Jurassic Park tonight. I'd imagine you probably will. Yeah, it's too bad. Did you ever see a really bad sci-fi movie called Event Horizon? Yeah, I don't remember much about it.

Not the greatest movie you've ever watched, but Sam Neal plays a bad guy in that movie. And I always thought he played a pretty good psycho. He did a good job in that one. And like I said, that's not the greatest movie you're ever going to watch. Some drivers who get ticked off behind the wheel flip people to bird. But in Egan, we skipped straight to bullets. That's pretty wild.

I saw one that cops had their handgun now pointed at something. That's what I knew. Okay, something's up. Authorities are investigating an apparent road rage shooting on Interstate 35 Ian Egan. Egan is just so silly. It can be. According to police, the incident happened around 5.16 p.m. near Deerwood Drive, where a road rage confrontation escalated, resulting in one driver firing multiple shots at another vehicle. For the camera, suspect was in the middle lane, and victim was in the left lane when the shooting occurred. Police haven't released any details of what sparked that confrontation, but it's safe to.

to say an inability to control a temper tantrum likely played a role. Thankfully, no one was injured, although the targeted vehicle wasn't nearly as lucky, taking multiple rounds, and there's a decent chance the other driver's underwear also suffered some collateral damage. There are ways to reduce that anger, but the fact you're taking a gun out, and you expect you'll get away with that in a heavy 35E traffic, it's right now where someone's life. Egan police are asking anyone who witnessed that incident or has information which could help investigators to give them a call. Years ago, you made the odd decision to move there to Egan. Well, it's more of an accident, actually, yeah.

What do you make of all this? Well, it's nuts that it was that far away from the Burnsville border, and it still happened in Egan. But, yeah, it's great in the middle of the, well, you know, five o'clock in the afternoon or whatever. Yeah, as a guy who grew up in Egan, I was kind of surprised to see this news. You don't really hear that too much. And like you said, Josh, I thought it was in the southwest corner of Egan

right by the Burnsville border where I grew up. Well, that would make more sense. Which explains a lot about my personality. I grew up that close to Burnsville. I used to go to Burnsville. Bar gig or dating a lady? Yeah, I used to go there for bar gigs. Wait, didn't you date a woman that lived in Egan or Burnsville for a while?

No. I thought maybe you did. No, no. I never liked the looks of any of the ladies down there. I was drinking. It made it to my nose. They never attracted me. I don't know.

God, that hurts. Oh, you know what it goes in your nose? Yeah, that does burn. Oh, so stinging. Yeah, we used to bar gig down there. Friggin' Bairnsville. You see you pretty gal? Oh, you must be from Lakeville then, huh?

Oh, man. Invergrove Heights, gal. Medota Heights, where you from? Definitely not Egan. Shooting each other on the highways. I guess so. Why do you say you moved there on accident? Well, I had a promotion there, actually.

They made you stay. No, it was at a townhome community. And I was looking for a house and my realtor at the time. You had a promotion at a town home community? Yeah, it's the most expensive promotion I've ever worked. It was in Reddick right next to the outlet mall, which he wasn't there at the time. It was just a field. What does a rock radio station promote at a townhome community?

Wonderful question. It was just the townhomes. It was, you know, I used to get sent to all those things. So join 93X at this townhome community. What? With our on-air personality, Josh, and what, put a down, show up, get some bumper stickers, and possibly put a down payment in on a townhome? I think that was the idea.

Those other people in that neighborhood did not want you there. Come on. There was nobody in the neighborhood. I mean, that was kind of the gist, right? That's the dumbest radio station promotion. So insane. I've had dumber. Okay, so there you are.

Yeah, and my realtor's like, oh, you know what? You might like that. And I said, no, there's no way. I'd never even been on 35E at that point. I didn't even know where it was. I figured the E stood for East, but other than that, I had no clue. And at the time, I was kind of looking for a house because I had a dog I wanted a backyard for, and she was right. I'm like, this is pretty sweet.

So it was complete accident. You were introduced to the town at this promotion. Yep. And you decided to buy a property. Yeah, the most expensive promotion I've ever had. Oh, because this house that you live in is garbage. No, no, no, no. At the time, it was a townhome, but I'm saying, like, you go there for the radio station,

and I ended up spending money on a town. They paid you $111 to be there, and you spent $320,000 on a townhouse. Yeah, not quite that much, but yeah. A 74-year-old Florida man was arrested Friday after police say he turned a supermarket parking dispute in a game of chicken, intentionally driving his Kia soul, straight at another man who came dangerously close to getting his human soul taken. Apparently, he forgot one important detail, though. This is Florida, where the other guy is usually armed. And he was.

The confrontation unfolded about 1 p.m. outside of Publix in Largo where investigators say the driver intentionally and aggressively drove his Kia Soul up to the curb and toward the victim in an apparent attempt to hit him. Police say the entire encounter was captured on surveillance video from multiple cameras. Detectives don't believe the driver intended to kill the victim, and thankfully no one was injured. So he drives at the guy, the other guy says, well, hey, I got a gun, start shooting at the other guy. and luckily nobody got hurt. A listener texteded in to say, wow, rock radio is exciting.

Josh, have you ever done a promotion at the grand opening of a parking ramp? No. If you're wondering if I've ever done one at a tax kiosk in a shopping mall, yes, I've done that before. That might be my favorite one of all time, Josh. Just me, the guy, a computer, and a large fake plant. Oh, no. Rock Radio, man. Yeah.

The thrills never cease. did another promotion and a skyway the day before Thanksgiving. Nobody showed up. And this was to promote a shopping mall or? Nope, it was for a cell phone company. Oh. Zero people showed up to that. Harrison Ford is- Zero people. Zero.

The employees didn't even show up that day. Well, you know, it's funny about it, I was just going to mention, so now, you know, we don't have a big staff, right? Back then we did. We had a lot of people that worked here. There were a lot of people. And so I think there were eight of us at this very, very empty skyway promotion. We had a good time, but it was quite embarrassing. Yeah, that sucks. Harrison Ford turns 84 today.

Patrick Stewart is 86. Jesus, a couple of old-timers there. Yeah, still hanging in there, luckily. Once again, we want to thank everyone who was on the boat Friday that you were able to make it. We appreciate it. I had a blast. It was fun spending time with our fellow boatgoers. A lot of people to thank.

I mentioned our promotions department. They kill it. It was awesome with those guys. And I hope you had an opportunity to hang out with 10K construction. I hung out with them. They're awesome. I met one guy and his wife. Yeah, we've met him a couple times and they're cool.

But I didn't have as much time to spend with them as I did on Friday night. And, yeah, awesome, awesome guys. So thank you for being on there as well. I told them to send us some hats. I don't know if that's illegal or not. Send us a hat. Or if you got a hoodie, I'll buy it. I'll take a hoodie.

got a cool logo. There's still plenty of summer to go, so, yeah, Josh could use a new hoodie. Yeah, I need something for Thursday, for our creed show on Thursday night. But honestly, again, we mentioned it earlier. Thank you so much for those of you who were able to make it. I really thought it was one of our best gigs.

Totally agree. Way better than hanging out at townhome community and Egan. Across from at the time was just a bunch of dead grass and a whole lot of crickets. It was kind of out of control. So once again, thank you to everybody. and that's 93x news. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder

on the half-ass morning show. Half me running. I got to admit with the way things have been going personnel-wise lately on this year radio show. I'm not 100% sure who's available to us this morning. So I had to do a little roll call. Sound off if you hear your name. Randy Shaver.

Yes. Brad's Writers. Presidents in the counter for it. That's wonderful. Boner machine. Here. Wait a minute, Brad. Really?

Boner machine. You're looking at me, but I am not a boner machine. Guy claims he's not. Oh, wow. It's nice to have you guys back. What's been going on? Just living life? Just living?

Summertime. Yeah, summertime. You still up north, Bradrider? No, I'm back home. You're back home? You've got to rest eventually. Yeah, you got to get back in town and pay the bills. Are you both just chomping at the bit to watch some home run?

What do I want to say here? No, home run derby? Not at all. Not at all. Did you guys used to like it like we did? Sure. Yeah, it was a lot of fun for a while. It was more fun when people didn't use to do that during the regular season every night

you watched a baseball game. But now that they do that every night you watch a baseball game, it's not quite as fun. Are there too many home runs for you, Brad? No, I'm just saying just the way the game is. played now. It's more like a home run derby. It is. Tonight, Dana tells us you can find it on Netflix. Is that what you said? Yeah, Netflix.

Tonight. So the home run derby is on Netflix and not on regular TV. That surprised me too. Wow. Well, it's always been on ESPN at least, so you have to pay for something. Wait a minute. So what channels is it on? It's on Netflix. You got to pay for Netflix, obviously, but it's always on ESPN.

But they usually came with your cable package, though, right? So it's also on ESPN? No, I'm sure. saying it used to be on ESPN, so it's always, it's never been like on over-the-air TV, is what I'm saying. Tonight, uh, that's not true. Well, I mean, yeah, maybe in the 80s or something, but I just meant it in my lifetime.

You're in the year. I really have no idea what channels it's been on over the years, but I'll try to find it on Netflix tonight. And like we discussed earlier, it's nothing that locks any of us in for the full three hours or so. But I'll get a good dose of it. I'm sure I will. Well, tonight's contestants in the home run derby,

Munitaka Murakami of the Chicago White Sox. And if this has changed in the last 24 hours, let me know. It's not something that I'm... I paid relatively close attention yesterday as to who had signed up for this. Yes, Randy Schaeber. I'm a little surprised he is in this only because he's been kind of in and off the IL over the last couple of months. And I would think the White Sox, who are playing, you know, very good baseball.

and are very exciting to watch and are finally getting him back, but then go allow him to be in that home run derby. He might be a little fragile? Yeah, I mean, he's been, like I said, in and out of the lineup for them. You got your Kyle Schwarber, yes? He's just a very important player to them. Okay. Bryce Harper.

Yep. Jordan Walker of the St. Louis Cardinals. I'm not terribly familiar with that young man. Wilson Contreras of the Boston Red Sox. This is also a guy. I don't know if I've had the opportunity to say his name out loud. Is it Jack Caglione? Yep.

Kansas City Royals. Ben Rice of the Yankees and Junior Camerro of the, how do you call it, Tampa Bay, Rays. Yeah, he's, he had like 45 home runs last year. And he, there was a stretch of time this year where I want to say he had a home run in like five or six consecutive games. So he's, he's probably. the favorite, I would guess. Yeah, I'll watch a few baseballs get launched into the stratosphere or whatever. I like watching the crowd try to gather these baseballs.

Sometimes you can catch a few sorry some bitches that take a baseball off of a collarbone. You get to watch the kids out on the ball field. Sometimes the kids will run into each other or there'll be some terrible accident. There's a lot more to watch at the home run derby than just the home run ball ball. It kind of feels like it's the new generation of home run hitters. Because, I mean, you've heard of a few of them, but not all of them. No. Yeah.

Three years ago, most of these guys weren't in the game. A few of them were. Well, Hartford was. Swarver was. But the other guys, no. So it's kind of fun in that sense that we're getting a chance to see some new guys and, you know, potential down the road, new stars of the games. Sure.

It's a little bit like another event that I pay very little attention to these days, the slam dunk contest. It's usually some kid you likely haven't heard too much about. What does this say here? A text came in that says, well, where's Byron Buxton on that list? Oh, yeah, that's right. Thanks for nothing. Whoa.

Yeah, it's the anti-Twins. It's a joke, you guys. It's a joke. Well, he's on the DL. Right. Yeah, thank you, Brad. Left-handed specialist, Jesus. Left-handed specialist Jesus texted in to say the AL division leaders are Texas, the White Sox, who are we missing?

Tampa, Texas, and the White Sox? Tampa. Right, yeah. And this listener says WTF. Yeah, it's crazy. I suppose that's maybe not what folks expected. Did you know that Otani is not going to play in the All-Star game tomorrow night? Yeah.

There's a lot of guys who have, because of injuries or other things, have declined. play in the game. This is like the first time in a long time where we've seen a lot of players decide it's just better for them not to play. One of Randy's little favorite wet dreams out there, Jacob Mizoroski will not be playing in the All-Star game tomorrow night because he has arm fatigue. Yeah. And Philadelphia Phillies ace pitcher Zach Wheeler is so frigging butt hurt. Oh yeah. He has told Major League Baseball that whether they, well, they invited him, but he's not going to go. That's not true. He didn't make the original roster.

Yeah, what's not true? Well, the original, what's true is he didn't make the original pitching roster for the National League. Right. And that's what ticked him off. Yeah. Then they invited him because of injury replacements. And he said kiss my ass. That's right. Yeah. And the game's in Philly. Right. That's the problem. And he should have been on the roster originally. Yeah. Why wasn't he? Because he? because he was scheduled to pitch yesterday?

There were two other Phillies pitchers made the roster, Sanchez and Luzardo. And honestly, Wheeler should have made it before Lazzardo. So I think he, I mean, it's a team of riches when it comes to starting pitchers in Philadelphia, for sure. And Wheeler's had this kind of comeback season, which he's been very good. He's 36 or 38 or he's an old. older player. And they do allow this, I thought I heard this yesterday, a legends player. They kind of select a legends guy.

Yeah. And so he really honestly should have been their legends pick. Instead, Bryce Harper was the legends pick for the National League. Well, this guy's all different levels of disrespect. Oh, he's so hurt by the whole thing. He's butt hurt by Major League Baseball, not immediately placing him on the All-Star team. And I'm not sure who makes the final call. on these roster decisions.

I don't have a clue. I'm going to guess the league in conjunction with the manager helps select the replacements, although maybe it's just the league. I'm not sure. So he's upset. I think the pitching staffs are picked that way. There's just still a voting aspect with the position players a little bit.

All right. So there you go. We'll get the home run derby tonight. We'll talk about it tomorrow. and then we'll get the real thing. Yeah, I'll definitely watch the All-Star game. I love the All-Star game. Even when I was in the cooler,

even when I was in the cooler, we'd watch the All-Star game, have a riot. So the twins went ahead and wrapped up the first half of their season yesterday with a series win over the Anaheim Angels. To the surprise of many, the twins go into the All-Star break. One game under 500, only three games out of first place in their division. And? I think if you had told people before the season started, like you said, the White Sox were going to be leading this division

and the twins were going to be in a wild card spot. I think everybody would have asked you what you were drinking because there's no way that those two things would have been predictable at the start of the season. I will say that before the season started, there were some people that thought the White Sox would be much better. I'm not sure they thought they would be this much better. However, there are only five games over 500.

So it's not like they're tearing the league up. It's not like they're Tampa and doing that. But the Tigers were the prohibited favorite, and they have played terrible. And likely if they don't make any move before the trade deadline, Scoobel's going to be traded. And so that's going to be a rebuild in Detroit if nothing happens after the All-Star break to conclude the rest of the month of July. What were you going to say about the playoffs beginning today?

I said if the playoffs were to start today, the twins are in. It would be in the playoffs. Yes. There's really only three teams in the American League looking at the standings who are out. I mean, when I say out, like don't have a legitimate shot at making the playoffs. And that's crazy. I mean, that's crazy out of the 15 teams in the league. I mean, 12 legitimately have a chance to go to the playoffs at this point of the season,

yet 90-some games into the season. That's exactly what baseball actually wants, and it's great. Yeah, there's a lot of parity in the American League right now, for sure. And now the question becomes, and Nick, we've touched on this quite a few times. Buy or sell? That's correct. And now the question becomes, what do teams do once the second half begins?

Now, some teams will wait to be a buy or a seller, depending on how they do the final three, final two weeks of July. Right. Like Detroit. Remember, was it a year ago or two years ago, Detroit just got red hot and had an incredible second half. where they got to the playoff. So they're going to hold out some hope. There's some other teams that are going to do the same thing. Toronto, I think, is going to be one of those teams.

Baltimore is going to be one of those teams. They're going to hold out some hope. But for the twins, they're right in the middle. I mean, well, these next two weeks are going to be huge. I mean, like you said, I mean, these next two weeks are going to huge, especially this first road trip coming out of the break because I'm looking at the schedule now. they go to the Cubs and then they go to Cleveland. Well, after that, though, they come home and play the worst two teams in the American League at home.

So if they can have a decent road trip coming out of the break, I mean, they legitimately could be four or five games over 500 at the trading deadline. And then you almost have to try to do something, don't you? They have won eight of their last nine series since June 10th. Right. The only series they lost was they got swept by the Dodgers. So they have played phenomenal. And if all they have to do is win series, as you said, Brad, if they win those first two series, I mean, I think as a Twins fan at this point, you'd cry, you'd be very upset.

You're already are, but you'd be very upset if they decide to be sellers and not buyers. Right. But the tough thing. It does make it. Go ahead. I was going to say the tough thing for the twins is for a guy like Joe, Ryan. Joe Ryan's value is probably no higher than it could be right now. Right.

If they wait until after the season's over his value, he's got one year left, 27, his value will decrease in the off season. And we've already heard stories that there are teams willing to give up the house for Joe Ryan. Yes. If you can get three or four players, including two, pitchers that are almost major league ready that are under team control for the next four or five years. That's very tempting. And they've seen now the Taj Bradley thing in particular has turned out to be a really good deal for the twins. So it's going to be very interesting.

Here's a text message that just came in that said we all know exactly what the twins are going to do. Absolutely nothing. It's infuriating. They'll sell everything. Well, it makes it harder. I was going to say it makes it a lot harder to be a buyer in the next couple of weeks when you have, like I just said, 12 of the 15 teams legitimately are still in it. So you don't have seven or eight teams looking to sell everything off. And so there's fewer teams looking to sell everything off and more teams looking to add.

Right. And it'll make it harder to add. Not much out there. Yeah. I think we have, well, certainly right-handed power hitting. There's not a lot. And Ryan Jeffers is going to be valued quite a bit at the trade deadline. The Yankees have already basically said they want to find a way to get Jeffers.

The real question is, are the twins really a contender in October? And I would say, if you look at their makeup right now, they really probably are not a contending team in October. So it probably makes sense for them to be a seller. The problem is if they play well the next two weeks and say they're a wild card team and they buy a game or two or they're a game out of first, that's a tough decision for the organization.

If it matters at all, the two of the twins made a trade last week for a right-handed relief pitcher by the name of Tommy Nance. He got into the game yesterday against California. The draft happened last Friday, the big league draft. The twins went ahead and selected a catcher out of Georgia Tech by the name of Von Lackey. If you read and listen to people talk about Von Lackey, they all agree.

This guy's going to be an all-star. This guy's going to be an incredible player in the major leagues. And easily could have been the number one pick in the draft. That's how good he is. So I think remember that name because I think he'll be in the organization, be in the big leagues, maybe within two years. The French, the English, the Argentinians, and the Spanish are the four countries whose soccer teams are still playing in that tournament. And the plan is to wrap that deal up by the end of the week. Next Sunday is the final at 2 o'clock.

Semi-final start tomorrow and Wednesday. Josh, do you, did you take a liking to this Norwegian dude who refused? refuses to go along with the rest of the Norwegian soccer fan base. He refuses to go along with that rowing gimmick at the World Cup. Kind of. I mean, I think it's kind of funny, but, you know, he doesn't seem to want to have a good time. He definitely seems like one of those, well, actually type of people. He is, yeah.

I don't know if everyone's seen this, but when the Norwegian club plays soccer, they pack all these some bitches up into the crowd, and they all do this rowing bit. It's similar to the Vikings, what do they call this thing? The school chain. The school thing. It's similar to what Icelandic sports bands do where there's a drum involved and then some synchronized silliness. The rowing does, it looks kind of cool when they do the,

when they're all doing it together. I like it. Shoot, I forget. What's that metal band? Somebody can text us. There's a metal band where the pit does that, and that looks really cool. Are you talking about, I think I've seen him in concert. Are you talking about Amon, Amoth, Amother.

Yeah, that's the band. Yep. Furfaf. Yeah. Amon. Look it up. How to say it. I saw him open up for Megadadah.

They have a Viking ship on their stage. Amon Amarth? They all dress like Vikings, like loincloths and swords. Yeah, I saw them open up for me. Anyway, video cut loose the other day, right, of all the Norwegian soccer fans doing this rowing bit, right? Every damn one of them, except for one guy. And he looked miserable. He looked so annoyed.

He sits through the entire routine. move a muscle. He wants nothing to do. So social media gets a hold of this guy. Some television networks decide to interview him. And I mean, he's just got this stick up his ass about the bit where he explains why he has no interest in it. First of all, I just find it really stupid and annoying and I didn't want to do it. And it's factually wrong. They didn't row. They sailed. They didn't even do it right. Factually wrong. He says when the Norwegians came over to America originally, they did not row. They sailed. It's just a weird stance to take, but...

I mean, there's probably plenty of people who played along that knew that fact as well. But yeah, he really took a stand on that. He has? He has a bone to pick when it comes to historical accuracy or lack thereof. Well, you know, sometimes when someone's really into something, it is tough for them to drop that. I'm sure you've heard that if you say something a little incorrect. Oh, absolutely. We've experienced that. We've experienced that on the radio show.

Yeah, we don't mean to be dumb. Sometimes we just don't know. We're not experienced. And usually we explain ourselves and say, look, this is just what we heard or what we think we know. Some folks will accept that. Others will not. They will angrily correct you. This guy seems like that type.

But he's become a big hit on social media because his defiance. It doesn't matter anymore. The Norwegians got beat and now they can go home. This guy was, he was something. Yeah, people are texting in. Amon Amarth is how you say it. Yeah, it's cool. Dana, have you seen those videos?

No. Now, when I was at their show, I guess maybe because they were an opening band, it was a Megadeth crowd. It wasn't an Amon Amarth crowd. As far as I remember, there was no synchronized anything going on in the crowd. But you should see this band live at least once because it is quite a show. Like I said, I think the drum riser is set up on the bow of a ship and there's oars and it's just a... All right, there you go.

Now, according to someone called Jake Fisher of a website called Bleacher Report, any NBA club that wants to hire LeBron James should also be prepared to hire death from above Kevin Love. Wow. This Fisher guy says that LeBron wants Kevin Love to be his plus one wherever he ends up next. What?

Yeah. Apparently the two of them are... Well, they're playing Cleveland together. The two of them are, they're deeply in love and have been for many years. so not brawny well maybe that's because he'll have somebody to hang out with on the road that's his age

I wonder if that has something to do with it seriously that's funny have you you could be right they just LeBron wants someone his age to hang out with they play cards and whatever they do double teams and Joe Engel isn't good enough

go walk the mall is Joe Ingalls going to be a part no no he's He's going over in his... Oh, he's gone. Well, no, no, I knew that, but... Oh, you were referencing if LeBron came here. Yes.

Yeah. Right. I'm sorry. Yes. I forgot the rumors of LeBron coming here. I think Kevin Love would get a nice welcome back here. Oh, God. I loved him.

And I'm not trying to be cute with that. I thought he was just a blast to watch play basketball here in town. I was a big fan of death from above Kevin Love. Have you guys watched... Okay. I'm sure this is older than the hills for most people, but my wife just recently turned me on to this comedic bit that you can find on social media. Have you seen this cartoon-type network that does nothing but hilarious NBA-related videos

where a cartoon LeBron James has a conversation with a cartoon James Harden? and John Morant and Anthony Edwards, and it's all comedic and all pokes fun at these players and their personalities and specifically some of the negative traits of these players. No one knows what I'm talking about? My son watches those. Okay. This stuff can be so funny.

Maybe my wife is listening and she can text in, or maybe there's a listener who knows what I'm talking about and can name the people who bring us these videos, but I've been watching them lately because my wife has been showing them to me. And there's one recently that I have to tell you about where LeBron James is hanging out here in Minnesota, cartoon LeBron James, and there are some other members of the team like maybe Jaden McDaniels is hanging out there. And the LeBron James character is simply saying this over and over again. Is everybody talking about me?

Is everyone talking about me? Who's talking about me? You guys know that I might come here, right? Is it exciting everyone in town? Is Minneapolis and St. Paul totally pumped that I might come here, right? That's the bit. Yeah. And then suddenly out of nowhere, a vehicle pulls up.

Inside the vehicle is Anthony Edwards and Lamello Ball. They are riding the bang bus. Oh, no. And Anthony Edwards says, hey, man, do you want to get on the bus with me, Lamello and go get some bitches or something like that? And Lamello's like, yeah, man, I want to clap some cheeks or something. This stuff is really, really, really funny. and I wish I could tell you more about it,

but I'm such a friggin novice when it comes to so. There's got to be someone in our listening audience that knows what we're talking about here. Oh, my God. They pull up in the bang bus. Lamello and Anthony kind of have their reputation as woodsman. Yeah, doesn't Anthony have a couple kids from a couple different women? More than a couple.

He's got a pile of them. Oh, even more than a couple. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I heard it was quite the pile. He's a young man. Well, damn it. I was hoping for a text.

Quite a swordsman. I was hoping for a text so I could give you a final answer on this. God dang it, that stuff cracked me up. Here we go. Four children with four different women. All of them have names that begin with A. I wonder how you convinced all those ladies to have similar names there. In one video I watched, John Morant has like a best friend that he hangs out with.

wherever he goes and his best friend is a handgun and they have conversations back and forth. Someone says it's called the gridiron gang. Hmm, that doesn't make sense. Apparently, okay, this was all Shaquille O'Neal's idea. Something called Dunk Man is coming to television. This is a, this sounds familiar. I don't know if we've talked about this before. This is simply a professional basketball dunking league.

That sounds like you get old really fast. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah. They call it Dunk Man. The Dunk Man World Championships will air on TNT later this month. 24 Dunkers will compete to be the Dunk Man World Champion with a grand prize of a half a million dollars. This is something that Shaq Fu put together for us.

So keep an eye out for that. Watch an episode. Lots of, how do I say this, Josh? Combat sports? Yes, lots of combat sport-related information for you this morning. Connor McGregor made his return to the Octagon Saturday night. He hadn't fought in five years, and it couldn't have gone any worse for him. He lost to someone named Max Holloway.

apparently McGregor showed up, got into the ring, threw one front kick at this Holloway character, and his leg gave way, and that was the end of it. Oh, and now that's going to do it. Oh, my goodness. What is going on? There's no compete. McGregor's injured.

There's some injury he's dealing with. But why are these, it looks like his right leg. His leg gave out on him, and she was all over. Gamblers want the FBI to investigate Connor McGregor. for what happened on Saturday night. They think it was all a scam. He was never in any shape to fight. This was just someone's idea to give the some bitch a big payday,

and people are furious about it. I haven't taken an interest in, I never had an interest in Connor McGregor, to be totally honest with you. Oh, really? Oh, no, I never cared for the guy. Even back in the day, never cared for the guy. Well, he seems like maybe not the nicest guy, but I did like watching him fight. And now he comes back.

And people are saying, people who are wanting to get the FBI involved, they're saying he was clearly injured going into the fight. And this was all the scam to make the guy some money. There was some video going around about how he could barely put on a pair of shoes earlier in the evening. They're just saying it's all bizarre, all very sketchy. We'll see how it all turns out. I didn't know if any of you took an interest in that over the weekend. No. No, I did see what happened, but yeah. Yeah, $16 million for 69 seconds.

They gave them $16 million in trade for that. Crazy. I do think it was hilarious, and I read the headline, though. Yeah, because he's just such a dick. Yeah. Yeah, it comes across that way. And then all the UFC fans that stayed up all night waiting for that fight, just for that. Would not put it past him to know that he had some sort of injury beforehand,

but he was going to try to plug through it to get the $16 million. Right. Well, boxing, combat sports, they have that reputation, being a little shady now and again. Now people are texting and telling me that the funny basketball videos that I was referencing earlier where Lamello Ball and Anthony Edwards are riding the bang bus, people are telling me it's called riot comedy. Riot comedy. So if you want to check that out, go right ahead. Now, Gable Stebson, I don't know if this was the same card as the McGregor fight.

Gable Steveson won his UFC debut Saturday night. That was awesome. Before you get too excited, they say that the guy that he beat doesn't even have his own Wikipedia page. It's like that first fight in Mike Tyson. What, Mike Tyson video game? Yeah. Oh, but that would be against Glass Joe, if I'm not mistaken. They say he defeated some character named Alicia Ellison,

whose nickname is the snack, Panther? Oh, my God. Oh, no, not the Snack Panther. So overall, people are saying that was cute and everything, but the guy that he fought was an absolute joke. But that's how they do it, right? Right. I'm writing that down. That's going to be one

of my fantasy football names. I kind of like it. What was it again? Snack Panther. Snack Panther. Okay, thank you. So, Stevenson, of course, the former University of Minnesota Rassler, is now 4 and O in his professional MMA career. This was his first U.S.

fight. Don't forget he also went to Esu High School too. Yeah, the pride. He's pride of Issu. This guy's done everything now. Double-Double E. He tried a little football. Now he's effing around in the UFC. He beat the... Have they retired a single yet

at E.SU.? Yeah, it's in the rafters, along with Tyas and the other Jones brother jerseys. The sum bitch beat the snack panther. I didn't see it, Josh. You said it was awesome. I mean, he's so awesome that he won. It's cool to follow along his career. Could you tell that the other guy involved had no idea what he was doing?

I'm not good enough to know. Oh, okay. But that's how they're going to do it for you. Yeah, sure. They'll give you some cupcake. We'll see where it goes from here. Former MMA fighter and television wrestler Jack Hager. Maybe some of you wrestling fans would know him better as Jack Swagger.

At one point of another on the W.W.E. He was the real American American. I liked that guy. didn't get any more American than Jack Swagger. Yeah, he was a likable character. Yeah, definitely. He had a rough day at one of those goofy power slap showdowns. So he went against some other heavyweight slap fighter and just got the dust smacked out of him and fell out cold on the floor.

Hager took a slap. Referee stopped the fight. he's now one in one in his power slap career. Did you enjoy that video, John? Yeah, I mean, that's about all I need to see from Power Slap. Why are we still doing this slap thing? It's just a silliest damn thing. So let's see.

What's it say about Hager now? He was undefeated in Bellator MMA, but now he's trying the slap fight. Is that up on our website? I believe so. I mean, if you've seen one slap fight, you've seen them all, but it is kind of interesting to watch. This Jack Hager is no little peckerhead.

He's a giant dude. But the dude who cracked him across the Yap was no wuss either. Slap fighting. Yeah, I can't figure that one out yet. Oh, wow. Well, this just goes to show you right here. Things can get away from you. And suddenly you realize that you have no idea what's going on.

As of a couple days ago, the highest paid player in the National High Hockey League is a kid named Leo Carlson, never heard of him. Anybody else? No. I was not familiar. I must be a big deal. What the hell? This is the first time in my life that I can truly say that.

The highest paid player in the National Hockey League never heard his name before until yesterday. Placed for the Anaheim Ducks. He's a center, I believe, yes. Leo Carlson. Well, how about that? Young kid, I'm just looking. him up. He's 21.

Five years, 90 million. Yeah, he's a 21-year-old. Man, 21, that's a good drinking money right there. Hopefully somebody's watching over him. Can you imagine getting that much money when you're 21 years old? Yeah. According to Carmelo Anthony, though, I just read this over the weekend, too. That's not enough money to live on. Oh, yeah, I remember that. What happened with Carmelo Anthony? I forgot about that.

Well, I just made, yeah, well, maybe it happened before it over the weekend, but I just saw this over the weekend. And Carmelo Anthony claimed that I don't even know how much money it was. And it was an insane amount of money. And he claimed that that wasn't enough to live on. I think it was $50 million or something like that. What the hell kind of life is he leading? Well, his justification is, oh, well, they take half for taxes. And then after that, you got this and that and the other thing.

And it's like, well, yeah, you're not getting the right financial advice, dude. Yeah. Speaking of wrestlers, Nick, did you see what the MIS? out in Lake Tahoe. I did not. The Mizz played in that golf event, the American Century event. Sure, sure.

And he beat our coach, Kevin O'Connell, by one point. Oh, he did. Nice. The Mizz finished 80th. Kevin O'Connell finished 81st. That's not great, is it? I forgot that was this past weekend, shoot.

Who were some of the others? Yeah, who were some of the others that made a lot of that? up the bottom of the barrel because I like these, I like these celebrity pro-am. So John O'Hurley, that funny actor, never heard of him. He's in like Seinfeld. Oh, yeah, he's, he's Jay Peterman. Yeah. Does he know that Carlson kid from Anaheim, who's the highest-grade player in the...

He finished last. Okay, I'm not familiar with him. Keep going. Rich Eisen from the NFL Network finished to second to last. Ray Romano. Oh, sure. Tied with the Commissioner of the WNBA, Kathy Engelbert, for third to last.

She was playing. Yeah, Catherine Tappen, who's a sportscaster, 85th. Larry the Cable Guy was 83rd. Outstanding. Our guy, Joe Mower, finished 51st. Tied for 51st with Jim McMahon and Chris Harrison. Holy crap. I mean, obviously, I know Jim McMahon.

Who did Chris Harrison? Who the hell is Chris Harrison? I'm not sure. Oh, it doesn't matter. Let's see. Other names in here? Yeah. Matt Boldie finished ninth.

He's supposed to be very good. Yeah, I bet he's a stick. Matt Boldy finished in the top ten. I think this might have been his first time playing. Yes, I... Maybe not, but... I read about him over the weekend that he was doing quite well in the tournament. And it's always the same some bitches in the top five.

Marty Fish, Joe Pavell. Steve Curry, Steph Curry, Vinnie Del Negro. Onika Sorenstam finished fourth. So who won the whole thing? Marty Fitz. Who was a tennis player from here in the state of Minnesota, right? That's correct. Right.

Big time golfer. That's great. See, I love those tournaments. I just wish there should be a channel that just shows me the bottom 20. You know what I mean? Well, here's probably the big thing is Barclay finished 69. 9th. So he's moved up quite a bit.

He used to be in the last four or five names. So he's starting to possibly play a little bit better. Wouldn't you like that if like, I don't know, Vice TV or whatever that channel is that shows us like the cool wrestling documentaries. They have a little offbeat. I would love it if they would just focus on the worst 20 players. I don't care to see great golf.

I don't even watch the regular golfers, right? So I don't want to watch. I don't want to watch Vinnie Del Negro and Tony Romo play beautiful golf because I have no interest in beautiful golf. Show me the train wrecks. This will make you happy, too, that Jason Kelsey finished toward the bottom as well, Nick. Oh, Jason, I didn't know he was even involved. Oh, by the way, listeners are texting, and congratulations to Dick Bramer over the weekend going into the Twins Hall of Fame. That was awesome.

I saw a little bit of his speech. And I got one review from the wrestling show. neglected to mention this earlier when we were talking about the twins. AEW had this big event. Was it Saturday night? Friday night. Friday night after the game. AEW put on a show.

One of our listers texted in to say the show, the rassling didn't start until 10-15. But listen to this. He said, I got to stand next to a man wearing a luchador mask and a homemade, loose weave, crocheted V-neck team. shirt with exposed nipples. You just got to expect that at a wrestling show. The man had a sweater, had a chest, how should I say this? A chest full of hair that looked like a sweater and he constantly yelled F you the entire

evening. That sounds like a live wrestling show to me. 100%. I'd be alarmed if somebody like that wasn't there. That sounds fun. I wish we could have made it. But we had our big boat party on Friday night and everything. went wonderfully.

Okay. Wonderful. All right, you bastards. You're off the hook. Thank you, Randy Shaver. Thank you, Brad Reiter. We'll talk to you soon. Coming up next, our old friend, Dr.

P. Jesus will be in studio. So if you have any questions for the doctor, we're at 651-9-9-9-93. We'll return with Dr. P. in a few minutes here on the program skis. 93. Ah, air conditioning. The love of my life.

Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good. What's going on to Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at Standard Heating and Air Conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast.

Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com. providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-L-K-E-Law.com.

That's B-I-A-L-L-K-E-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-. and it spells relief for you. Hey, I'm Chris Van Fleet. Go behind the scenes and beyond the headlines with the biggest names in pro wrestling and beyond. Mr. Sandman. All I ever wanted to be was a pro wrestler. So I got to live my life.

And make people really happy. The heartbreak kid himself, Sean Michaels. Do you think there's anybody better than you were? I think I was great at what I did. And I think other people were great at what they did as well. Greatness is more of mindset, I think, than anything else. Mindset, motivation, insight with Chris Van Fleet. and listen on your favorite platform.

Dr. P. Jesus. The 93X. Half-assed Morning Show. All right. What a wonderful thing we got going over here. It's the Monday show, and we've got company. Dr. James Parnell is here. Dr. P. Jesus, don't you know? If you have a question for the doctor,

just go ahead and text us at the telephone number 651-989-93. How are you doing, Dr. P? I'm doing just fine. It's great to see you again. Great to see you, too. You know, I think a fitting first question for you this morning would be for our listeners who are working out of doors the next couple of days. And by the way, this might get a few donkeys some time off, so this is very important.

Yeah. How does a player know that he or she might be in trouble? and they need to get themselves out the sun to avoid terrible consequences. So early signs of heat illness and stuff? Exactly. Yeah, I mean, it can, it really, it varies, but I think probably the major thing is have you not urinated anytime recently? Ah.

So it's a personal question? But yeah, I mean, normally people don't talk about that. But if you're out in this, you've got to be staying way ahead of things. And then I think, I mean, honestly, just kind of cloudy thinking or, you know, I don't feel that great. It's like almost by the time you feel that way, you're in trouble. Okay. So that really is, I think it's just recognizing, like, I don't feel right. Right.

So if you're working outdoors or you're working in an environment where there's not air conditioning, you just like make sure you drink like a beer every hour or two beers an hour. At least one every hour. Make sure you're taking a whiz. like every four or five minutes. Yeah, I mean, you got, I have no idea how folks can do that on these days. I mean, you really would need to take so much water and gatorade with you each morning. And I'm sure it's, you know, it's expensive.

Yeah, you got to rotate. Hard to keep it cold. We don't want anybody giving way. No. I was actually just reading. Like, there's, I had not, I hadn't really read about this before. You know, we talk, they talk about the heat index, which is sort of a calculation based on humidity and heat. Have you guys heard of the wet,

bulb, globe temperature. It's none your damn business. Wet bulb globe temperature. This sounds oddly familiar. Yeah, I mean, it's so it's interesting. It was developed, I guess, in the 1950s by the military to kind of help them tailor exercises for soldiers based on heat and basically how much fluid they would need, how hard to push them. And then it's not really ever been used beyond that. But the Corey Stringer Institute at the University of Connecticut, which I guess is where he went to college.

I didn't even know that. What a terrible story. Yeah, yeah. They've really pushed this concept because, and you have to have a separate kind of device. It looks like a bizarre thing with like a big bulb microphone on it. It sits out in the sun. It measures the direct sunlight, the heat, the humidity. Wow.

The radiant heat from the ground, and it also takes into account the wind. And supposedly that is just, and it's being used in athletics, I guess, across the country. Kids having football practice and whatnot. I think it's being used at the World Cup. Really? But I had never heard of it until this morning. You know, you never see that. They don't say the WBGT, you know, rating, but it's almost like we should because the heat index is just, it's not, it doesn't reflect, I guess, how he,

affects our body very well. So is it possible that this, say the term again for it? Wet bulb globe temperature. Is it possible that this gimmick is affordable enough to where like the bosses at your construction site could purchase one of these, keep it at the job site and see when there's a dangerous level happening there? I honestly was looking, you know, like the high end one that that Corey Stringer Institute talks about is like 500 bucks, but there's a lot of them on Amazon for

like 30 bucks, 50 bucks. I don't. That's really effing interesting. People would want to do a little research and make sure you get something that's, you know, it doesn't have to be exact. But, yeah, basically you essentially put it like on a tripod, let it sit there because it's so sensitive that if you're standing next to it, it will affect it. That'd be really cool if you could look at that unit.

Yeah. And say, well, hey, conditions are not right. Right. Let's save it. Yeah, we're going to do, you know, 50% effort today, guys. Like you got to every 30 minutes take a breath. I mean, yeah, you don't want people dying and you don't want people getting real sick. Because once you do, you know, you got to get somewhere and be thrown in a tub of ice water.

And even then you could be in trouble. And the old folks don't usually make it. No. No. It's, it really, it basically stresses our bodies so much that, yeah, I mean, obviously if someone like Corey Stringer can fall over dead, you know, like an elite athlete, someone who's older and has no. basically kind of clinical reserve in terms of, you know, cardiac status, lung status, they're gone. Or the babies.

The babies aren't saving it, too. They don't know how to do anything with their little body. Leave an animals. Sit there and bake. You don't have your dog out in this stuff. A few people are texting in saying they do use that at their workplace. Really? That's super cool.

It's freaking fascinating. Never heard of that. I used to have a serious problem with this, like getting way too hot. Whatever I played sports, I get like a really, really bread face. So my parents used to have to like tell the coaches like, hey, she's not going to die. She just like looks like

that. So they'd let it go a little bit. But then there would be a, there was a couple times where like it was pretty bad and I was definitely having heat stroke. And like, you know, you all lay down on the floor, get your knees up, drinking some water. And you're like, oh, okay, so I'm feeling. I'm feeling good.

It's kind of amazing. It's been like 30 minutes and then you stand up and it hits you like all over. Like you have to, it takes a while to recover. It's kind of amazing that more kids don't drop from this kind of a thing. I mean, think back to when we were kids, it didn't matter if it was 105 degrees. You get on your bicycle. All you drink all day is Pepsi. You might have a slice of pizza and some chewing tobacco. But you'd think that more kids, I remember a couple of kids dropping down because it was too hot while we were playing football or whatever. But I guess that shows you that kids are a lot

more resilient than like we were saying old folks. Everything's working perfectly when you're 12. Yeah, so be careful out there. Yeah, man. When it comes to ear infections, this texter wants to know, do they go away by themselves? Well, I guess it depends a little bit what we're talking about. So with ear infections, we think of two major categories. There's otitis media, which is, you know, the thing that kids get mostly. Adults can get it where there's an infection on the other side of your eardrum, so in the middle ear.

you know that often can be a virus maybe a bacteria and it's probably over-treated with antibiotics a lot of the times that can go away especially for an adult so if somebody has some ear discomfort they've had a cold they're stuffed up if you look in there and it's red you know again it probably gets over-treated with

antibiotics but it generally will go away how long do you wait before you go in well the problem is I mean unless you can look at the eardrum you can't really say what's going on so that's I'd say if you're having symptoms, you generally probably should be seen. Or if your kid has a cold and they're complaining of a little ear discomfort, do you have to rush them in? No. But if it's been going on for a week, it's getting worse,

if they've got a high fever, if they're really uncomfortable. And the same with an adult. But then the other type of ear infection is otitis externa, which I believe you are familiar with, where you get the goopy ear canal, like swimmer's ear. Did you have a goopy ear canal? Josh? Heck yeah, I did. Sorry, I'm not supposed to say that out loud.

What happened to HIPAA? I'm not as doctor, so it's fine. You can say whatever we want. This is the radio. I think I remember this. What they pull out of you? Well, nothing really. It was just pretty embarrassing.

My ears were bothering. I just assumed just because we wear headphones all the time here at work and then at home doing stuff to work. So I thought it was something to do with that. Yeah. And they're like, no, you got an ear infection. And I said, well, no, no, no. That's impossible because I'm an adult.

Adults don't get your infection. I'm not a child. I was embarrassed for that. I didn't know adults could get them. And it was like soupy and a little. It wasn't, yeah, a little bit. It was more like it just hurt. And I did have a little of that, but I had like three within three months.

That sucks. Sorry. I threw you under the bus there, gosh. But yeah, Oitis Externate, I mean, again, swimmer's ear is the most common sort of other term for it. But it's, it can be bacterial or fun. bungle. Oh. You know, it's really just you get irritation at the ear canal.

You get dead skin in there and it just kind of gets it to be a mess. And it can be a little hard to treat. For some people, just, you know, making sure you're not getting more water in there. You know what I notice the doctor's like, each time the doctor's like, all right, we're going to get somebody else in here to clean that out and take care of. Oh, yeah. Doctor was not interested. No, no. That's pretty foul in there.

It can be, it can be pretty, I bet it reeks. I always find that funny when they, uh, when they, uh, when they, um, they, They wrap up their conversation with you, and then they're like, all right, the people will be in after me to do all the bitch work. Well, I mean, I love it. I love it. It's like, you know what? Yeah, you earned that degree to be able to just walk out of here and not have to look at the weird stuff. It is the joy of being a physician.

You're like, all right, your kid looks like they're growing well. That nasty nurse is going to come in and inject that kid right now. I'm out of here. Your kid will always smile and they see me. The doctor says, yeah, your anus does look pretty bad. I'm going to take my 15-minute lunch break. We'll send Gary in here. Gary has the wet wipes.

Okay, real quick, I just want to say, Dr. P., you had mentioned the wet bulb. That was kind of a military thing. Initially, yeah. Initially, yeah, a lot of people who were in the military or are in the military, Texas, say, yeah, they still use it or used it back in the 90s. So they've been using them for a while. Right. So I think it's pretty recent that it actually became more widely.

use and I have no idea why. That's great. You would think if that's been around forever. First I've heard of it. Yeah. It's always the eyes, Dr. P. Always the eyes. Here's a listener who says I've had a stye on my eye for the past eight months and I'm about ready to.

How are you surviving? I hate those so much. Do they hurt? I've never had one. Yeah, they do. Yeah. He says I'm about ready to use a scissors to cut it out any suggestions before I go there. Yeah, don't go there.

It's like a weird hurt though, Josh. I don't know how to explain. It's not like full on. It doesn't feel like you've been like punched in the eye, but it's just like... Well, here's, I think I have a good comparison for Josh. Because I believe I've had an eye sty once before. It's kind of like that really big, painful Zit feeling. Yes, yes.

Oh, that's terrible. I mean, that's essentially what a sty is. It's a pimple along the eyelid margin of one of the glands that's there. And you're not supposed to pop it, right? Even though you want to so bad. Yeah, I mean, you're... They're much better off using a warm compress and kind of letting it soften and then it will drain. If you squeeze it, just like anything else, you can sort of make things explode backwards underneath and that can cause problems.

So normally they resolve. That's the thing. It exploded backwards. Well, I mean, yeah, you're putting pressure and it doesn't. I'd imagine that'd be my first experience with a grenade launch. And I'd kill all my teammates behind me. Right. Whoops.

You're squeezing it the wrong way. Oh, no, no, I got this. Relax. So that's the thing. Killed the new guy. So I would say it's probably not a sty. There's a thing called a collasian. Like, I've never quite known how to say it.

Calasian. It's C-H-A-L-Z-I-O-N, which is slightly different. It's more of like an inflammatory nodule that can happen in the lids. And that can be more prolonged. And basically, you need to go see an eye doctor and see what's going on. Because, I mean, you know. I think I got mine at a Buck Cherry concert. That's because Josh Todd refuses to wear a shirt.

I came out of a Buck Cherry show with a sty. I wish I could remember the times I've gotten them, but it's from like sharing makeup with my girlfriends. Oh, interesting. And I never share your freaking makeup. No, never. Hey, one away Jesus said what I had, Dr. P was called bitchier. Is that true?

It wasn't a ear infection. It was bitchier? Oh, yeah. No, I would never say that for you. You've had so many problems with your extremities. Well, my holes. Yeah, a lot of my holes. And holes, yeah.

Things that hang off of you, things with holes. Yep. On Cubby. I have bad holes. They go wrong. There's always some soup growing in there. I've been on a good run. The only thing that's been safe is your mouth, right?

Your mouth has been all right, except they get some bad teeth. But, I mean, does it go back to your unwashed days? I wonder if all those unwashed days that you lived, that it's coming back to haunt you, that all your holes are so greasy and inflicting. I don't know. Oh, yeah, Dr. P. So I had to have some blood work done. And my vitamin D was dangerously low. Well, you have not been in the sun in quite some time.

Exactly. That's the thing I thought, well, who would have thought being an avid endorsement would have some negative effects? Yeah. I mean, it was like ridiculously low. You should be taking some vitamin D. I am now. So your bones don't disintegrate. We've got Dr. P. Jesus in studio. Dr. James Parnell is here.

He's open to taking your text questions at 651-1-9-8-9. 93. 93. One more before we take a break. Sure. And this is an odd one, considering what we've discussed already this morning. It's going to be 120 degrees today, and you should look out for signs of heat-related sickness. Here's a guy who's going the other way.

He says he got frostbite in both his hands seven some years ago. His fingers still feel cold most of the time. It hurts a lot when it's cold out. Can this be reversed with acupuncture? anything else. So I think all this talk about hot. Yeah. Led this guy to talk about how he prays for hot.

His frostbite is still bothered him seven years later. Hmm. Acupuncture. Must have been pretty bad. Any thoughts on acupuncture? Yeah. I don't, I mean, I don't know. Acupuncture obviously is sort of outside of Western medicine, which is what I know about.

Yes. I think I have respect for acupuncture and think it can do things that I don't. understand. I would, I just wonder what's exactly going on with him. He might have, you know, if you get cold, um, uh, sensations in the fingers, it may not necessarily be directly from the frostbite. It could be, um, basically vasospasm, uh, re-nodes phenomenon or raynode syndrome. People have heard of that usually where people will get like really cold fingers and sometimes literally a finger or two will just be like white compared to the other ones because the vessels are spasming and it can happen in cold weather but it's actually more it's more common in the

transition from warmer to cold so that could be walking from your car today where it's warm going in your house where the ACs on and suddenly your hands are doing that so it's just the change and that can be that can be treated with some medications sometimes but so I would say maybe just kind of try to get a better grip on what's going on well I had frostbite and when it gets cold? Of course you did. Well, that's what I used to go outdoors. Yeah. You really did? It's probably why you don't go outdoors anymore.

And it just stings. The area I got frostbite, it's forever? Where is it? My nipple. Oh, I remember you telling us about that. Yeah, I was dared to, it was crazy cold day and I was dared to take my shirt off back when I would take my shirt off and jump into a snow pile. Oh, Jesus Christ. And I did and it was terrible. You landed on your nipple? How did those big friggin' ears of yours survive the cold, all these? Well, it slowed me down in the fall.

Hey, before, I bet. Before we take a break, this is a good idea. A listener wanted me to tell Dr. P. The doctor joke that I told last week that took Ashley forever to understand the joke. Okay. I'm sorry. A gal goes into the doctor and says, my butt hurts. And the doctor says, well, where exactly does it hurt?

And she said, right there at the entrance. So 6-5-1-9-9-93-9 if you have a question. I love that freaking joke so much. I'm such a sucker for that one. When we come back, speaking of butts, when we come back, will you talk about that crazy super diarrhea going around the country if you people want to know about it? Oh, wow, that ought to be great. Yeah.

When we return more with Dr. P. here in a few minutes. Hi, everybody. Hi. Dr. P. Jesus. Welcome to the half-assed morning show. 93X. I hear you. I didn't know we were back.

This is really exciting now. Dr. Pete Jesus is here. By God, live in studio, helping folks out. He's helping folks out over the old text machine. What I'm excited about is before we went to commercial, Josh asked Dr. P what he knew about something new that's going around. Now, this is the first I've heard of it. Josh wanted Dr. P to tell us what he knows about the supposed super diarrhea

that's going round and round. So what do you know, James? Yeah, I mean, it's cyclosporiasis, which is, so it's like a little parasite. And as far, I don't think we have an idea of what it's come from. It typically would be on some sort of, you know, washed vegetable. So either salad in a bag or maybe from like a salad bar that's not clean or sprouts. You know what I mean? We've had some other situation.

I don't remember when that was. I just did like a salad. Couldn't get sprouts. Yeah. Yeah. I always get the salad bar, Nick. I think broccoli at one point. So basically.

It's all the stuff your doctor tells you to eat. I mean, basically. I did the salad bar last night. Yeah. I hit it hard. Well, hopefully it's not going to hit you hard. I licked it right down to the bone. Oh, my.

But yeah, so it's just, it's a nasty parasite that causes explosive diarrhea. Really bad. One of the articles I was looking at was British. So I love that they spell. D-I-A-R-R-H-E-O-A. They put the O. There's an O-in diarrhea. I know some restaurants are even, they're changing, they're taking away some stuff.

They don't even want to risk it. Right, right. Like Taco Bell was one. Okay, so yeah, they're probably, I mean, basically any kind of vegetable that you let's it out that you wash with water, but you don't, you know, it's not sterile. Okay. And it's not going to be cooked. I think any of those can be suspect.

Oh, if it's not going to be cooked? Okay, cool. I don't know of my juice. This all sounds average. What's so super about this? It's just, this is an unusual one, and it just, it causes wicked diarrhea. And that's the only thing that it causes? Like news making diarrhea.

Yeah, I believe so. Just days on end. You can't. Wow. Turning people inside out. Like, you know, they might turn it into a contest at state fairs. Jesus. There's been, there's been, turning them inside out.

There's been, what do they call that again, Josh, when it comes inside out? Prolapse. There's been pro. Oh, I'm sure there has been. No. So that's wild. Yeah, I don't, it's not something that I have ever seen in my career. So I think it's new for a lot of us, but.

Well, I'm not going to get salad for a few months. Until you give me the all clear. Yeah. I'm just amazed that we haven't identified it yet because I feel like usually the, maybe, or this is the CDC not funded anymore possibly or our epidemiologists still employed? Hopefully they are, but if they're not, we've got to get them back. Here's one list who says the only green food that's good for you is green M&Ms. I think you're pretty safe.

Anybody's getting coli from that. Another one says this is nothing new is what I do every morning toughen up a little bit. A lot of people are saying that are like, well, how is that going to be different from my normal diarrhea? Longer lasting. Is it longer lasting? Yeah, I mean, quite severe. That sucks. I feel bad for the people in the ER departments.

Though no one has died from it. People come in there so dehydrated from just non-stop pooping. The squirts, they call it, Cubby. Yeah. I'm on the lookout for this now. That's the first I've heard of super. And I haven't seen that it's here unless it's been in like the last day. Okay.

In Minnesota? Yeah, I haven't either. Good. They've got strong. Don't go to Michigan. Michigan is where it started? I think that's where it was really good. Oh, no. A listener has a theory.

He says or she says, I keep. getting sores on my lower lip, I think it's because I'm hooked on using my water bottle with the sippy cup type nozzle. Is a dirty water bottle, possibly the cause of my lip sores? How often do you wash your water bottle? Yeah. Well, I can answer that question and say never. Weekly for me. Wash your water bottle. I heard it's supposed to be even more than weekly. It seems excessive. I think, yeah, they can get pretty nasty. And I think at some point, if you've had one for a long time, you probably just need to throw it out

because I think the surface of that plastic maybe just gets, it's not smooth anymore and it's sort of like is a little, it's almost like cavities for stuff to grow. Because yeah, they can, I mean, I've had a couple water bottles. You're like, ooh, that stinks. And it doesn't really want to be clean.

It could be, so it could be like a, you know, a recurrent bacterial thing. I mean, cold sores cause, you know, recurrent stuff on the lips, but would not probably be from the water bottle. Okay. But yeah, unless it's, you know, a priceless water bottle passed down for generations, probably just get into it. Did you imagine?

This is my great, great, great, great papies. It's disgusting. It's really old plastic. That's nice. It's a wooden spoon. I heard that before. You're not supposed to reuse the plastic ones you buy, right? Like you get in a 24-pack at Costco or something?

Oh, yeah, I guess that's like super, super not good for all the microplastics that we inhale. Yeah, but I like the kind of got now, like a little cheap. Bottled water. What about this, Josh? You're supposed to refill these. Oh. They're supposed to be just like single use. Oh.

Yeah, there's different grades of plastic, I think. So, I mean, we don't tend to think about that much. But, yeah, they definitely have different quality and different characteristics. Is poor balance a sign that's. something is wrong with my brain. A listener would like to know. Poor balance. It could be.

I guess it would be maybe what's the pattern? Has this always been the case? Are they newly having difficulty with balance? Is it balance while walking? Is it balance while standing? There'd be a number of things. Okay. Because it could be, I mean, your inner ear.

your vision and your brain, well, and also even the sensations you're getting from your feet. So the proprioceptive feedback you get just from standing, all those things, you know, lead to balance and a problem with any of them. So, I mean, if you, you know, people who sprain an ankle real bad, they lose that pro-receptive sense and they may kind of not have the same feedback. But if you have an inner ear infection or if you're, you know, if you're on a boat, that's probably the classic thing where your inner ear is getting different signals than your vision and if things get thrown off.

But yeah, if you have a problem with your cerebellum, I mean, that's the- If you're falling down crossing the room, maybe you ought to make a telephone call. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it would be, so I'm not, if they're just saying I've had a poor sense of balance my whole life, then- There are a lot of harmless reasons why your balance might be shorter. Yeah, but yeah, new problems with balance is, I would say, not something to ignore. Yeah. How about Josh, you probably have great balance because you got those big, fat, wide tennis shoes. You probably could stand on one foot for an hour.

I bet. I got some decent balance, I guess. Yeah. How many times have you heard the DWI guy say, well, I can't walk a straight line even when I'm sober? I got bad balance. That gets him in some trouble when they didn't get that. I think so. Dr. P., what causes Bell's palsy?

This person says a coworker mine has it. half his face hangs on one side. Well, it's, I mean, it's a problem with one of the facial nerves, basically. So what actually causes it is a good question. When people, I mean, basically Bell's palsy kind of comes out of nowhere. People might get kind of a little bit of a weird. Oh, really out of nowhere? Yeah, a little weird sensation, possibly, but then they just get a facial droop.

and the treatment for it has kind of always been you give an antiviral medication, you give a steroid medication, so an anti-inflammatory, and hopefully it gets better. Because I don't, there's not, there's not a definitive answer. It's thought to be viral. It's thought to be inflammatory. But as far as I've seen, there's no, you know, it's not caused by such and such virus most of the time. and other times it's this. But yeah, usually it's a very unsatisfactory explanation.

That's concerning. It is, right. So it's not something that's, you know, transmissible that we think of. Do they make face suspenders? Because I could use them when I drink. Really? My left side, is my left side, Nick? Yeah, the left side of his face begins to slide off of his skull.

Did you do that on a boat? Did you do that on the boat? I haven't here. He didn't have any. Oh, okay. The left side of his face. of his face tries to drop down into his shirt pocket. Weird. Yeah.

A person here said they got that... That's after one beer. Yeah, it doesn't take much. Right. A person here says they got it as a kid after a dentist appointment. Oh, wow. Lasted a year. What did he nick a nerve or something? What the hell happened? I mean, viral, you said. Yeah, I mean, that could have been... I mean, you can have

an injury to a facial nerve possibly from, you know, a lydcane injection or a dental procedure, but yeah, most of the time it's... I mean, truly, it's Very unsatisfying for a patient to be told, like, we don't know why you got it. So we're going to treat you with an antiviral, treat you with the steroid, and hopefully it gets better. And for most people, it does pretty much completely resolve or completely resolve. That's good.

There are unfortunately people where it just doesn't. That's not good. No. That's good, Josh says. And then that other thing you said, not. You said that's not good. No, it sucks. I'd love to talk to you all morning, Dr. P, but I got to urinate so bad, I think I'm going to pass out. I got a pee, too.

We both have got to go into the, thanks for everything, Dr. P. Yeah, awesome to be here. Thanks, Brad. And we will talk in a couple weeks. Sounds good. Happy birthday to Caleb. He's turning the big O3 today, lady and gentlemen. Man.

Also, happy fourth birthday to the very good boy, Murphy, from Rice County, Bushlight, Jesus. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust standard heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time.

Get $75 off your first service or tune-up. And while you're added, mention 93x. Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930.