93X Half-Assed Morning Show - The Blob

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

Originally Aired August 17, 2026: The word of the day is "Harvest." Fads that didn't survive the 80s. Everything you've ever wanted to know about getting ditched at prom.   Listen & subscribe... to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: HAMS93X@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust Standard Heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time. Get $75 off your first service or tune-up. And while you're at it, mention 93X.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93X half-ass morning show. Ninety-nine. Oh, hell. Let's just go ahead with this, huh? Let's hit it. Welcome to the program. Welcome to the 93-X-half-ass morning show,
Starting point is 00:00:57 day one of a five-day production. We're down one character. The smash is out. Ashley has a day off today. Not going to get any complaints from me, Josh said. No, that is not what I said whatsoever. Nothing bad, by the way. I know in the past she's had a couple days off for bad things.
Starting point is 00:01:17 Today's actually a pretty good one. Good things. Going to give her the day off. Good friggin' things going around. We hope everyone had a lights out type of a weekend. How did you do, Josh? Everything turned out all right? Yeah, I mean, nothing too exciting.
Starting point is 00:01:34 I over ate meat on Saturday. Ashley had a birthday party for Calvin, who turns one today or a little boy. and it was a blast big party out there Dana made it he and his wife showed up Dana had second lunch I did because they ordered so much barbecue it was awesome I came from lunch with my family to go to Ashley's son's birthday and I didn't realize that they were going to have just dynamite barbecue and brisket and I was so full because I over ate at lunch but I can't turn down brisket I almost had my wife sit in the backseat because all my burps on the way home oh gross what's wrong with you
Starting point is 00:02:11 That is pretty gross I had about a pound of brisket after already eating at the green mill Yeah I had a lot of brisket too I would have stayed longer but truth be told If we're going to be gross I had to poop Did you? Yeah so I'm like I got to drive the 45 minutes home here
Starting point is 00:02:25 I can't go at Ashley's house There's too many people You have a strict no pooping in Coon Rapids policy I would have but there's too many people there Didn't want to do that to other folks But it's a lot of fun got to hang out with her dad And have an extended conversation with him Very cool guy
Starting point is 00:02:40 How's the old man? He's doing great. Great, really good spirits. And I kind of forgot how tall he is, where he makes Dana look like a normal-sized individual. Yeah, he dwarfs me. I mean, he could barely walk out of the garage. You pointed that out, Dana. I thought he was going to hit his head as he walked out of that garage.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Yeah, I forgot how tall he was. The first time I met the man, I thought he looked like an old member of the Heenan family. Yeah, he does. Oh, yeah. He looks like he could be a professional wrestler. Some of you would understand that reference. Yeah, he would be maybe our top draft pick for our YMCA basketball team. team? Oh, easily. Yeah, he could just
Starting point is 00:03:13 stand there and give us so many layups as we want. Is there any rules against illegal defense? Can he stay in the lane? Like college basketball? Yeah, if it's pick up. Can he remain in the lane? Or does he have to step out once in a WF? NBA? No, keep him in there.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Okay. You know, he's a 74-year-old man. He should be able to stay. There's no illegal defense being called in our YMC. I got drunk dialed Saturday night after the party. All right, now business is picking up yeah i got drunk dialed uh some friends were having a birthday party they got one of those party buses and they're doing like bar crawls and stuff people in their 50s no they're i think it was a 40th birthday party oh so they were you know calling like ah you know you should show up
Starting point is 00:03:59 whatever and i had to tell them the truth like my stomach is so messed up from all the i mean they woke up yesterday with hangovers you really made yourself sick oh i went for it yeah it was stupid i don't know why and it was just me. I ate all of it. You were drunk dialed and invited to a bus party. Yeah, I'd already told him I couldn't make it. I didn't know how long we were going to be at Ashley's. But yeah, it was you know, that's the difference between
Starting point is 00:04:22 being in your 50s and your 40s. Well, yeah. They're going to wake up hungover. I'm going to wake up regretting my food choices the day before. Yeah, well, you got to, you know, you got to have something or another to eat here and there. It's been a while since I've had any of that kind of thing. It was awesome.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Oh, man. Well, there you go. Glad your boys had fun at the party. How are we looking with that boat ride? Anybody sign up for that yet? A Rock the River boat cruise? Oh, I haven't heard anything on that. All right. Let me see if there's, last, when was it? Friday, I think we checked instead of limited seats left, or I guess limited passes left. All right. We got the Rock the River coming up in, oh, it'll be a month away tomorrow. Friday, September 18th. We're rocking the river again. 7 to 10, Mississippi, Paddleford River Boats.
Starting point is 00:05:12 25 bucks, get your carcass on board. Live music from Rock Brigade, food from the lookout in Maple Grove, a little drinking, a little carrying on from there. And we thank our sponsors of the event. Anytime Bail Bonds, Hogbauer Automotive, you can go to our website and check out all the details. Let's just curious how we were doing.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Yeah, I just tried to get four tickets and let me, so. Oh, yeah. Go to the website if you haven't. It's a bigger boat where it holds more people. It does? Yeah, so we should be able to get. Then the one we have on the Independence Day? I believe so.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Really? Because that's a big bastard that we rode on here just a month and a half ago. Yeah, whatever. We'll get you in there if we can find the room. I mean, I guess technically it's two boats, right? It is two boats, isn't it? Two levels. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:04 Yeah, it's one boat tied up to the... Yeah. You're right. It's two boats and one. for our Rock the River party. Tell me about your skills set overall, Josh, when it comes to water sports. Now, we're being legit water sports. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:21 We're not joking. No, no, we don't need to always. Zero. Zero. I've never water skied. I've been on a wave runner once. Wave runner. Okay, water skied, zero experience.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Never done. Knee boarded, nope. No knee boarding. Never parisailed? What do they call it? Wave, wakeboarding? Wakeboarding. Never paddle boarded. Oh, you know what? I'm decent in a canoe.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Okay. I went rafting once. Rafting? I'm not going to... Like on a real river with a... No, not like something in Colorado or something like that. Explain to me the rafting. We just got rafts and went down the Mississippi once.
Starting point is 00:07:03 No rapids, nothing. No, no, no, no. Just like a fatter canoe. Pretty much. could have been on any body of water. It wouldn't make a difference. You could have napped on the raft if you wanted, yes. Dana, water sport skill set.
Starting point is 00:07:17 Absolutely none. None. I went water skiing once with the river rats, actually. River rats? Yeah, they do it up on the river, you know, over there. The rats. I believe I've been there. Yes, up on the river.
Starting point is 00:07:30 They do like the big triangle thing, pyramid of people and stuff. That whole routine. Yeah, we did it once for the radio station. It was kind of one of those like, let's make fools. out of the radio people trying to water ski. They put you in their group of professionals and you were part of the triangle? I didn't do the triangle, no, but I could barely get up. The guy next to me basically had to lift me up to get me up out of the water and on my skis.
Starting point is 00:07:55 I was so bad. So I got up very briefly. There's a cool photo of me where if you look at it, you think, that dude's a pro. That dude isn't. That guy knows what he's doing. I had no idea what it was doing. I could barely get up. And when I did, it lasted at about 30.
Starting point is 00:08:09 30 seconds and I was in the water. I have some water sport experience. Water skiing, I took to it quite naturally. And I enjoyed that now and again when I was a kid. Have you seen this gimmick, what do they call it again? I want to make sure I get this right. Not that this takes, I guess maybe I shouldn't say. I was just about to say not that this takes any skill,
Starting point is 00:08:39 But at the same time, I wouldn't want to try it without maybe somebody tutoring me a little bit first. Have you seen this blob gimmick? Yeah, those are fun. You're aware of the blob. Dana showed it to me over the weekend. There was some record set. Yeah, yeah, okay. That's the first time I'd heard of it.
Starting point is 00:08:58 That's what I wanted to bring up. I've seen clips of this here and there on the godless internet. But you'd heard of it before? Yeah, absolutely. Sorry, Nick. My bad. I know you have because you're the one that showed it. Just recently, yes, I saw a clip or two of this blob bit, but I did not know it was as popular as it apparently is.
Starting point is 00:09:31 If you don't know what the hell we're talking about, the blob is this big fat. I don't even know what the hell to call it, Josh. What is the damn thing? I don't know. It kind of looks like one of those big water trampolines. Is that what they're called? Those, you know, I can't remember what those are called. It's inflated.
Starting point is 00:09:50 It just looks. It's a blob. It's a blob. It's a blob of air and. It's like a huge mattress, basically. Yeah, that's a huge mattress. Like a big air mattress. There you go.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Thank you. Like an overinflated air mattress. Let's say I'm the dude that's going to be sent into oblivion. I lay down on the damn thing. a couple, three people from a story or two up jump. So like a trampoline, like when you send someone on a trampoline, Josh and Dana will jump from a high point down onto the blob, and that sends me up into the air and into a body of water.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Yep. Was it a lily pad? Maybe that's what I was thinking about. Those big lily pads? Yeah, yes. Just shaped a little different. Something that floats on the water. But this thing, it's overinflated, so it has that catapult type.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Oh, medical device, Jesus said they used to have the blob on the show, wipeout. Never saw it. I watched a couple episodes with the Miz as host. I think that's the one. So, yeah, I'm just coming around to this. And I read over the weekend that they've set a record now, a new record, for the highest blob launch. A human being traveled 92.5 feet into the air. being sent off the blob.
Starting point is 00:11:13 I think there were three people who joined arms and jumped down from, I don't know, and then they spring to some bitch. 92. It looked fun. He didn't land super gracefully. And so that would probably be the way I'd land too. You got to know what you're doing if you're the one that's being sent, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:33 You think you'd have an actual diver or something. But, I mean, are these guys, are they trained to, turn their body over when they're in the air in order to land feet first? To me, it looks like, because I watched a few clips, it looks like the some bitch who's sent into the air that they know what they're doing on the way down. It didn't look like, oh, God, I'm totally out of control. If that was the case, I'd see more people land on their faces and their backs. So to me, it looks like these folks do know what they're doing.
Starting point is 00:12:05 They're not just helplessly sent into the sky and landing in the water. God knows what position. But, I mean, that's just my perception. Yeah, I'm guessing the people who are going for records know what they're doing, but your average Joe, I think they're more like you were talking, Nick, would just go flailing through the sky and landing face-first in the water. 92 and a half foot high. This was in Switzerland where the record was said.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Yes, people are texting in. Yeah, this is funny. It goes back to an old bit. Long-time listeners will get it, but we would have got in trouble in the past. had we not said 93.7 feet high. Right. 92.5. Our old bosses would assume that as zombies, folks, are going to turn it to KQ immediately.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Our old bosses can blow me. Oh, yeah, we would have gotten trouble. Honestly, we would have gotten trouble for that. A lot of people are texting in. Oops, just changed the channel. Thanks for remembering that. Three guys jumped down and launched a kid named Robin. And he is the kid who now holds the record, 92-5 feet.
Starting point is 00:13:08 in the air. That's time for three extended screams it looked like. Dude, it's fun to watch. It is. I don't know if I want to be Robin on the ass end of that blob being sent sky high because, yeah, I would land, oh, I would knock all the wind out of my system when I hit that water. And I'd plug my nose. I'd look ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Of course you would. But, I mean, he kind of looks like it, on the way down, it's a little less graceful. On the way up, it looks like he knows how to fly. In total, he spent over five seconds flying through the air and went as high as a nine-story building. And they smashed the balls off of the previous blob world record. The previous record was only 72-foot high. Walks on Bongwater Jesus got sent up by the blob eight years ago. So he's done this.
Starting point is 00:13:58 Yeah, he said he did it eight years ago when he was 34 and couldn't walk right for a week and said the whiplash was incredible. Yeah, so, yeah, you got to. know what you're doing. Oh, so, Dana, did you know about it from Jackass? First, actually, the movie Heavyweight's with Ben Stiller. The movie Heavyweight came on the 90s. I'm sure it was not in your radar whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:14:19 It was about a bunch of kids that went to an overweight camp, and they had a blob there. So that was the first time I saw it there. And then, yeah, and Jackass, they did it too. They had Johnny Knoxville dressed up like a bird with wings and stuff, and then he flew in the air, and then they all shot him with paintballs as he was coming down. Okay, that makes sense then because people were texting in, they had a blob at Fat Camp, and I thought they were just joking. Oh, yeah, in heavy waste of Fat Camp that they go to, they had a blob there. That was my first introduction to what a blob was.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Back in like, what, 1994, I want to say. Yeah, it was new to me until you told me about it. Been around that long, huh? Yep. Yeah, I'm sure, you know, we regular dicks could go out and buy ourselves some type of a blob, and we could go out to the lake and have a few laughs. but like you were saying a minute ago, Dana, if you're going to try to set a world record, everybody must know what they're doing,
Starting point is 00:15:11 everybody must have some experience, because he can't just be breaking folks in half out on the lake. It's something to see. It's pretty cool. They draw big crowds from what I saw. I mean, if banana ball is going to be the number one sport in the world right now, then hell, blob launching is quite natural for it to be right up there as well, right in the mix as well.
Starting point is 00:15:36 If I could get the training and they promised me I wouldn't kill myself, that looked kind of fun. You're too old now. Probably too old for that. But if you were a younger man, you'd be a good blob launchee. I wish I knew the time.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Size-wise? Yes, because you're a slightly built little peckerhead. You would be perfect for us to send you. Here's a guy texting in and said, he could break the record. Floor magician Jesus said, I'll break that record. Just give me the big show.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Mark Henry and Rikishi on one end. Yeah, if we were in our 20s, Josh, you'd be a perfect candidate to lay on the launching end of that thing. It does look fun. We'd send you into the next county. We'd send you two lakes over. Yep. I remember now I did try boogie boarding once. Okay, what's that?
Starting point is 00:16:27 I think all we tried to do was kind of like a little surfboard. If I'm getting the right terminology. The thing is, you know, I've done a lot of these little gimmicks, but I can't exactly tell you what the name of the sport is. None of us could get up. You're standing on some kind of a board. Yeah. It's like kind of like a fatter ironing board, but shorter. Sure.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Yes. I can picture it. We tried that in the ocean, actually, and it was too difficult. The waves were too big for people who'd never tried it before. I enjoyed stuff like water skiing, jet skiing. kneeboarding we tried once or twice and even as a kid the pain was unbearable probably a natural position to be in kind of and maybe it was because we were doing it wrong i don't know but it was not comfortable so we we gasped that idea quite quickly what else have i gotten involved in but what
Starting point is 00:17:22 i was never a terribly strong swimmer so i never pushed my luck too far when it came to water sports because I figured, you know, if the light jacket comes off and I hit my head, I'm in real trouble. But we have some fun with that stuff over the years, especially water skiing is one of those sports. I wish I would have dedicated myself to a little more because I did have a skill set for it. I was pretty good from the get-go on a water ski. Did you ever try one ski or going barefoot even or anything? Oh, hell no. Barefoot, no.
Starting point is 00:17:57 That's nuts. Oh, you've got to be at a level that I, I could. couldn't even imagine to be barefooting. I wonder if parasailing's fun. Oh, I tried that. Did you? Yeah, where they shoot you up in the sky? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Yeah. Oh, it was horrible. Do you need much skill for that? No, no. I mean, I shouldn't say that. To do it properly and wonderfully, I'm sure, yes. But they were willing to send an amateur up there. This was 25 years ago.
Starting point is 00:18:23 I started off on the back of a boat on Lake Minatanka. They wrapped me up and put on this. vest with the parachute on the back and then they kind of slowly but surely floated me up into the sky before you knew it cubby i could see all the way to iowa i was so high up in the but i'm just hanging on for dear life i had no idea what i was doing they just they reeled me out and reeled me in so i'm sure sure you need a tremendous amount of skill to do anything other than that i just hung on for my life i couldn't even i didn't really enjoy that i didn't really enjoy that i didn't really, I don't like heights like that.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Snorkel seems like anybody should be able to do it. I couldn't even figure that out. Snorkeling. I hate it snorkeling. Yeah, that sucks. Scuba diving, it's frightening. I'd like to do that. I'm not technically supposed to have, with epilepsy. I guess they tell you you can't do that. Oh, then don't be bothering with that. Steel-Eyces texted in to say he knew an old timer who could water ski with five-gallon
Starting point is 00:19:23 buckets on his feet. I'm trying to even picture. From what I'm told, my old man, when he was a kid, he could water. ski upside down backwards, ass up, no skis, two skis, one, a half a ski. He was the pimp. We never did anything like that as kids. All that's new to me. I'm trying to remember the first time I was even on a boat. I was old. I mean, first time you ever went on a boat, you were old. What do you mean? What do you mean old? Like old for a Minnesota? I must have been in my 20s. The first time you were on a boat. Whoever got on a boat. Wow.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Well, you didn't get on one, you didn't get on one prom night, that's for sure. That would have been my first one. Prom night. What are we talking about? We rented a boat for prom on Lake Minataka. A party boat. Yeah. I remember this now. And I got left at the dock. It's a sad story. Everyone's starving. And like, hey, who wants to run and grab some Burger King? And I volunteered. I mean, you were ditched. Yeah. And, you know, their argument was... Did that hurt? That had to hurt. Yeah, and I still had to pay.
Starting point is 00:20:36 You know, everyone's like, dude, you know, it took forever for you to get back. And it really didn't. I mean, they just were slow in McDonald's, or excuse me, Burger King. So, hang on a second. Did you buy a ticket to this boat ride? Yeah, we prepaid. You got five, six of your buddies and their dates. It's prom night.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Right. You're ready to get on the boat. Couldn't wait. It's going to be my first boat ride. You got hungry and said, I'm going to. Everybody else did, really, and I just volunteered. I said, yeah, I'll go grab it. So you realize that they made up this
Starting point is 00:21:05 We're hungry, we want McDonald's gimmick. They made that up so they could ditch you. That's not the way I want to think about it. These still are some of my best friends. What other way can you explain it? That they just were dicks about it. That they said, hey, we paid for this amount of time, and the boat was the boat captain's like, we got to go.
Starting point is 00:21:22 And you just, what happened with the rest of your night? We just sat there in the car until they got back. How long? I don't remember. Two hours? No, no. I don't think it was that long. You had plenty of Burger King.
Starting point is 00:21:32 least. Well, if they paid for a boat ride, I mean, how long, usually those boat rides are like two hours, three hours. It could be. I have no idea. How long did you sit there? Honestly, I don't remember. And then when they came back, what did you have to say? I'm just mostly like, what the hell, bro? You know, that kind, but I didn't say, bro, it wasn't cool back. What did you do earlier in the night where they were so sick of you, they had to ditch you? I don't think they were sick of me. Don't do this to me. But they did, Cubby, they ditched you on prom night for Christ's sake. That sucked. So you and your date sat in the car with a bag full of McCrulling. McDonald's? Burger King, but yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Yeah, that sucked. I feel bad bringing it up now. What the hell did you bring that up for? I know. Look at him. You didn't have to twist it, Nick. On the Monday morning. Well, I mean, come on, let's be real. Enough times gone by.
Starting point is 00:22:17 It should be, we should be able to talk about this. No, yeah, I understand, but I don't think they did. Is it because you were the nerd that wouldn't drink? I'm not a, you know, I'm not necessarily a nerd, but no, I didn't drink. Were the rest of them drinking? No. Not that I remember. You were all nerds.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Probably. No, they were pretty big druggies, actually. It's one thing to get ditched by the cool guys. You got ditched by a bunch of nerds? Yeah, but guess who got some action that night? You didn't get any friggin' action? I know. I was trying to get you to guess.
Starting point is 00:22:46 Oh, okay, Ricky. The rest of them did. Oh, did? All of them did. Ricky did? Ricky, even Ricky. So anyway, water sports. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:23:02 They did let my date on. They came back for her and they wouldn't let me up. Yeah, they swung back and said, sorry, we only have room for one more. We only got one more life jacket. They said, she's welcome to come on. Dude. Now that you've got to bring this up,
Starting point is 00:23:20 maybe that makes sense because they let her on and not me. No, they did not let her on. No, they didn't let her. But you got ditched on prom night by the guys who were supposedly your friends. Supposedly my best friends in the entire world. Wow, that is. All right, now I got a make up and I got ditched story to make Cubby feel better.
Starting point is 00:23:40 Oh, I got ditched once. Oh, yeah? Yeah. It was prom night. Get out of town. That's what happened to me. See, that's too weird of a coincidence. It wasn't prom night.
Starting point is 00:23:50 And you've never told that story before. I got ditched. Well, there you go. Check out the videos. Check out the videos if you're brand new to The Blob. It'll hold you for a while. It is impressive. Yeah, it does look like fun, but like we were saying, it seems like a young man's game at this point.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Oh, yeah. I'm not recommending anybody over 25 years old tries this. No, no, no, no. Let's not be ridiculous. Oh, no. Oh, no. Sparky Jesus said, it's okay. I went with the girl to prom. She got back with her ex at the dance, and I went home alone.
Starting point is 00:24:29 No action either. Oh, man. She got back together with her ex at the dance. Oh, I'm sorry. That sucks. Yeah, Wang. That's worse than what happened to me. Wang got ditched at prom too.
Starting point is 00:24:39 So next time you see Wang, you guys can talk it out, Josh. I don't know if this is a positive, but this was a girl I was interested in for a very long time. I remember this girl, yeah. Finally able to date her. It only took from about sixth grade to my senior year of high school. When you guys dated for a little while? Yeah. Starting with prom?
Starting point is 00:25:03 A little before prom. maybe when's prom usually I don't know when prom usually I don't know late May so it's like a month before that here now this is I'm not making this up this is this is just this is natural Josh
Starting point is 00:25:18 I'm not just saying this to try to make you feel better was she a pain in the ass she was a little okay you know some of the girls I used to date yeah a little like uppity maybe
Starting point is 00:25:32 straighter than a grizzlies D a lot of the gals A lot of the gals you used to date were straighter than a grizzly's rod and boring. So here's where I'm going with this. Some days I'm so glad I showed up at my life. Josh, you didn't get ditch. I don't know what the hell's the matter with me. Of course you didn't get ditch.
Starting point is 00:25:54 You're this friendly, wonderful guy. You make friends so easily. So you didn't get ditched. She did. It just so happened you were the poor bastard who was dating her that night. Well, it could be. And we went to different schools, so these guys didn't know her super well. There you go.
Starting point is 00:26:09 You didn't get ditch, Josh. She did. It just so happened. They knew you could handle it and you in the long run would understand. They just couldn't stand being around your date anymore, your bros and their and their girlfriend. I just thought of something. I should have held a grudge. Well, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:27 Would it be weird to start a grudge right now? Yes. 30-some years later. Oh, if I were you, I would have flipped out. I would have punched somebody in the face for that. They friggin, I paid for this and you guys just left without me? And I wanted to get you guys Burger King. Well, that was the part that upset me the most.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Well, that was all a lie. They didn't want Burger King. They wanted Burr. No, they didn't want Burger King. They wanted to ditch your prom date. Everybody wants Burger. They had enough of her with the prior activities and they said, look, we just want two hours a piece and quiet on this friggin' boat without Cubby's date.
Starting point is 00:27:00 You picked him up, you dropped him. Jesus said, didn't you take your cousin to prom? No, shut up. Second cousin doesn't count. Second cousin doesn't count. All right, there you go. We got that figured out now. No harm.
Starting point is 00:27:15 Feel good about yourself, Josh. It wasn't you? Would it be weird? You said if I started grudge this many. Because, like, obviously it bothered me, but it was one of those things. I was just like, you know, what's going on here? And then whatever.
Starting point is 00:27:27 But would it be weird if I ask for my money back with interest? Send a Venmo request. Yeah. You would be looked at as a psycho. But, I mean, really, you never got what was coming to you that evening. You didn't deserve that. And it wasn't because of you. It was because of your prom day.
Starting point is 00:27:48 I was just surprised that that happened. I'll be honest. They didn't seem like those type of guys. But, you know, now to think about it, maybe they just didn't communicate that the boat captain was like, hey, we got to go. Very possible. Sucks. All right, let's get going with our Monday show for Real Skies. You're a terrific crowd.
Starting point is 00:28:09 When we come back, we'll hit up the stupid news report. Oh, a little later, we'll talk to Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder and all that. We'll be back in a... Huh? Noice. Yeah, it'll be nice. We'll be back in a few minutes on the Half-Ass Morning Show. 93.
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Starting point is 00:29:27 Start your day with the morning jolt of Drake Seet-Toll. See, now it's on demand. My podcast is kind of a real. radio thing, I think, but also it's a bit of a TV show, and it's about whatever I want it to be. It's listening live as it happened, when it happened with the instant reaction. Your home for talking sports. We go back, the Great Toll Show, Westwood One Sports Network, and there will be on demand on your radio. Anywhere in the country, I'll see you there.
Starting point is 00:29:50 Westwood One Sports Talk, your home for Drake C. Toll. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. Yeah, there you go. If you just tuning in, we had a therapeutic conversation earlier with Josh. Oh, no. We don't need to go into it again. Josh was playing the role of our patient.
Starting point is 00:30:25 These therapeutic conversations, they happen naturally around here. It's yell therapy. It's where Josh discusses how he was hurt in the past, and I yell at him about it. It's yell therapy. Yeah, it was more of an attack. something Dana brought up. It was more of an attack. Like maybe you gave me a different way to look at history,
Starting point is 00:30:49 a way I don't want to look at it. See, if you felt attacked during that conversation, then that proves that you could use a little more yell therapy. Because no one was attacked. Josh told his prom story again, where... Very sexual, if you're just tuning in. Very successful, and that's all you need to know. Josh said,
Starting point is 00:31:08 He was the only guy out of his entire friend group that got laid at prom, and he was lying. Yeah, terrible. Terrible lie. You talked about this gal you were in love with for six years, sixth grade, all the way up until your senior year. She agrees to go to prom with you. You go. You've got five, six of your buddies and their girlfriends with you. Part of your prom night was to board a party boat for a couple hours and go out.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Was it Lake Minnetonka? Yeah, it was Lake Minnetonka. So you Minneapolis kids drove into my house. You even been there. Where were you, Wizzetta, Excelsior, Mound. I couldn't tell you. Spring Park. I knew nothing about Lake Minnetonka at that time.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Okay. It was so out of my wheelhouse. So all he is are standing on the dock. You're waiting for this party boat to show up with the singing and the dancing and the drinking and the carrying on. While you're waiting for the boat, your friend sent you and your date to go get everyone Burger King. Technically, I volunteered, which was a terrible mistake.
Starting point is 00:32:05 They were happy that you volunteer. You go to get the Burger King. King, you come back to the dock, everyone's gone. The boat has picked up all your friends and their dates. They left without you. You were ditched at prom. I was, yes. And that hurts.
Starting point is 00:32:17 It does. And the hurt is... Well, at the time, it bothered me a little bit, certainly. I can't believe he didn't just go nuts and punch somebody's effing lights out. You were dead. You sat in a car for a couple hours waiting for the boat to come back. I thought for sure, well, they're going to make a loop, and then they'll be back. They'll pick a stuff.
Starting point is 00:32:36 They never came back. No. So, you know, I don't really run hot, but I could see why that somebody would. You know, it was just more like, what the heck? Why would you guys ever do so? I would never do that. Your prom night then consisted of you and your date sitting in a car waiting for your friends to come back. So as we were having this conversation as part of yell therapy, we were trying to sort through the anger, the heartbreak of that moment of that evening.
Starting point is 00:33:08 But it dawned on me, being the trained therapist that I am, after all, you were not the one who was ditch, Josh. It was your date. It was obvious to me now that your friends and their dates could not. Because how could they possibly not get along with you, knowing you as long as I have, the wonderful guy that you are? It obviously wasn't you that made them leave. It was your date.
Starting point is 00:33:33 So that's the conclusion we've come to. hopefully it makes you feel a little bit better about the situation. It wasn't you. It was her date. Your date. She was a pain in the ass. No one liked her. They had to get away from her.
Starting point is 00:33:44 You know, they'd never said that, but I guess I would think, you know, we were close enough they would have. I'll have to ask them. I just thought of another angle, Josh. I should bang their dads?
Starting point is 00:33:53 No. Mom's. Oh, shoot. You can do what happened? You can do what happened? But another angle on this, what about this theory? What if they thought,
Starting point is 00:34:00 hey, if we leave Josh alone, unsure, in the car with that gal for two hours, he's guaranteed to get some action. Dana, this proves why you are not a trained therapist. They knew Josh. They knew he wasn't getting any from the word go.
Starting point is 00:34:16 But maybe they thought like they're there in a parking lot alone for two hours. He's got to be able to finish. Secure the deal. Josh can't even go naked in his own home. We think he's going to get it on in a parking lot. I did get it on. Well, it was May of that year. so I don't know if it was before or after prom.
Starting point is 00:34:36 So that's when I lost my V card. You did eventually get it on. And I've been a sexual being ever since. Me out. I hope that all feels better for you. Now, this brings me to a text message. While we were having our therapeutic conversation earlier, yell therapy, I was trying to come up with a relatable story from my life
Starting point is 00:34:58 where I got ditched to make you feel better. Even though now we've come to the conclusion that you weren't. really the one who was dished, it was your prom date. I was trying to come up with a story and I couldn't remember one. But the all-knowing, the all-knowing members of our listening audience, the brother and their sisterhood, they always, they always helped me out. A listener reminded me of a time in high school when I was ditched. So maybe this will help close things out for you all together. Yeah. And he's right. A listener remembered a story that I told years ago where my house, where my brother and I grew up, was one of the three big party houses at our high school.
Starting point is 00:35:46 My brother and I, there was a guy named Steve and a guy named Greg who always had beer parties because our parents were usually off on their own drinking somewhere else. So we had a lot of parties. we even started to party on school nights, and this became really cool in our book. Like, not only are we drinking on Friday and Saturday, but we were doing it on Monday and doing it on Wednesday. And so one night, a buddy of mine says, this was a school night. He said, yeah, we're going to drink at my house tonight. And I said, okay, I'll call you later. I call no answer, call no answer, call no answer, call no answer, call no answer.
Starting point is 00:36:25 And so I figured, well, the party's off, right? I get to school the next day, and everyone's ranting and raving about this great school night party that my bro had. And they never answered my telephone call, and I was really frigging pissed because this guy came to all of our parties. On Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I never would have thought to exclude him from one of our parties. But on this particular night, he didn't acknowledge me at all. and I remember flipping out on them in the hallway the next day. We were pretty tight. And the two of us didn't talk for a couple of days.
Starting point is 00:37:01 Eventually he apologized. But there you go, Cubby. I was excluded on that particular night. Still to this day, I don't know why. Was it my date? Let me think. She would have been 14 at the time. It could have been, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:17 She would have been 14 years old and living 40 miles away. So anyway. I felt that same pain, Josh. Yeah, it's a bummer, right? But this is great. Brewers in High Life, Jesus said, I'm not sure if you still talk to these guys. Yes, I do, very much so.
Starting point is 00:37:35 But I say you invite them to the next boat ride and ditch them. That'd be a fun bit we all could be on now. You should do it. I don't know if any of them listen to the show or not, so they might not hear about it. But that is brilliant. If everybody on the boat is in on this thing. You could sell it as some kind of a little bit.
Starting point is 00:37:55 reunion. Yeah, because they've never come on any of that stuff. And... Maybe I should be upset about that. You know, if we're leaving the dock at 7 p.m., tell them to get there at 705, and we can wave to the bastards as we're... That's good. That's a great idea.
Starting point is 00:38:10 Yeah. Get them. And as you mentioned, the all-knowing brother and sisterhood, they remember this stuff. And I appreciate you listening for so long and caring enough to remember. You picked them up. You dropped him, Jesus said, I should be proud of the day I lost my V card because I got the nickname the energizer. I don't know if they still have the same thing.
Starting point is 00:38:29 The energizer buzz-buzzy. Bunny, you know, keeps going, keeps going. He's usually got a drum in his hand or something. Sure. Yeah, so having some severe nerves, your first time really helps out your reputation because she spread this rumor. You bet she did. Yeah, this rumor that I was this total stud.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Because you were so nervous, you couldn't finish. I faked my first orgasm. pumping back and forth like a sewing machine. Yeah. You're sure that God is watching you and you're going to hell for what you're doing. Yeah, and I didn't know how to fake an orgasm. I just knew at one point, like, well, this has got to end. I thought this is a lot worse than I thought it would be.
Starting point is 00:39:08 So I remember going, oh, yeah, that's the good stuff. And then that was pretty much it. That's the good stuff. Whoa, that was a wonderful orgasm. Oh, man, top five orgasms I've ever had. Yeah, this was fun. Ah. All right, on a completely different subject,
Starting point is 00:39:25 I just wanted to say word life to cinnamon ring destroyer Jesus He texted the work week He texted in Now I don't know nothing about the industry So I'm going to have to go ahead and take his word for it And why wouldn't I?
Starting point is 00:39:46 With a name like cinnamon ring destroyer Jesus Why wouldn't I take his word for it? He just wanted to say real quick Shout out to the farmers harvest is kicking off today. Today's the day, huh? That's what he says. Yeah, thanks for doing what you do.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Get it done. Get it the F done. Appreciate you listening. Harvest. Tough gig. You know the different slang terms that you and your bros might share? And I haven't found another friend group who used this type of language. When we were about 19 or 20,
Starting point is 00:40:26 If somebody was hungry, they'd say, oh, man, I'm starving. I got a harvest. Well, I've never heard that before. Yeah. I always thought that was really unique. My buddy Albi from Orno. He was the one I first heard used that term. Harvest.
Starting point is 00:40:46 He'd walk into the party house up there in St. Claude and be like, did you guys eat you today? I got a harvest, baby. Where are we going to go? Dana, you and your buddies had to have something. Harvest. Seems like you guys always had a saying first. something.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Our level of excitement, you'd say like, hey, like, should we go do this and you would, you would call the boner meter. You'd be like, I'm like a 4.8 on that. Sure. You know, like, should we go hit Perkins? I'm about like a 7.9 on the boner meter for Perkins. That was basically your range of excitement for whatever we were talking about potentially doing was the boner meter.
Starting point is 00:41:22 We would use body parts for that as well, how excited you were to do something or how cool something was. I know I've explained this to you once or twice before, but as soon as Larry the cable guy hit it big with the slogan, get her done, I kind of felt like, hey, that was our thing. When we were young kids, getting drunk was getting it done. So what do you want to do tonight? You want to get her done? That meant you want to get drunk. So all of a sudden, Larry the cable guy was a get her done hats and T-shirts everywhere.
Starting point is 00:41:55 And I was like, hey, wait a minute. We used that slogan for drinking, get her done. and you know how the slang terms can be abbreviated with time. Sure. So after a while, any form of alcohol was referred to as get. Hmm. Because it was part of getting it done. So someone would say, like my pal, Alby, after he was done harvesting, which was eating,
Starting point is 00:42:20 he would say, you want to go get some get? I like that. It's just kind of fun when you continue to make it shorter. Like what you've done. done with word. Then it became ard. Oh, God. Was it ever just R?
Starting point is 00:42:35 Yes. Yeah, then it was just R. Yes. We've said word back and forth so many times over the 30 years in the business together. We've said word so often that it's been abbreviated now to Ard or just er. Let me see if I can look. I got to look back at. None of this makes any sense.
Starting point is 00:42:52 My friends and I, we also had one in high school that still goes to this day. We were sitting around on Saturday afternoon playing Madden trying to figure what we're going to do that night. And one of our buddies is kind of, he's kind of contemplating. He's lost in thought. And he goes, I just don't know. Should I drink or should I get that ass? As if, like, they were mutually exclusive.
Starting point is 00:43:11 You can only do one or the other. And I guess it makes sense looking back because the gal he was with wasn't like a partier or so he had to choose between the two. So it's become a running joke like, once you have one sip of alcohol, you are no longer allowed to get that ass. There are two completely mutually exclusive events. He had to be a completely different character with his girlfriend. That's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:43:33 So, that's down it's been shortened to, what are you going to do tonight? You're going to D or you're going to GTA? I don't mind that. Drink or get that ass. Get. I was trying to see, you know, talking about like the Ard's thing or whatever, how you addressed me yesterday when you first text me. I was trying to look back and, because I remember it was funny the way you addressed me yesterday.
Starting point is 00:43:51 Yesterday? Yeah, when you first text me. Well, I like to text you, I like to text you and call you terrible names. Yeah. And so I look back and I can't say that, I don't think. Oh, yeah. Don't, don't ever. Can't repeat that one.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Don't ever repeat on the air how I referred to you in text messages. I called you like a box. Something. Yeah. All right. There you go. Oh, by the way, Hughes 51 Jesus says his friend group would also say, let's go harvest when they meant go get something to eat.
Starting point is 00:44:22 Well, there you go. All right. This sounds pretty serious right here as we begin today's stupid news report. Uganda must be a filthy place. If this is how they operate over there, Uganda, wherever the hell that is. It says here now then, every month there is a mandatory national cleaning day in Uganda. It's the last Saturday of every month. And the effing local cops warn everybody in Uganda.
Starting point is 00:44:58 They say that force will be used on anyone who Fs off and doesn't do they part. There's potential for a good ass weapon if folks, if citizens don't get it done on National Cleaning Day. If they don't help out. Imagine how bad things must be if the government has to step in for that. All Ugandans are expected to participate in National Cleaning Day between seven, a. And 10 a.m. On that last Saturday of every month.
Starting point is 00:45:37 Hell, they don't want anyone driving around town acting like they've got more important things to do. During the designated three-hour cleaning window of time, I was telling you about, 7 to 10 a.m., only emergency and government vehicles are allowed to go anywhere. You know, obviously very extreme and quite scary that this could happen. But at the same time, I don't know if I'd mind a day where we just had to do it. You know, you have no other excuse. Otherwise, we're just going to put it off and put it off and put it off.
Starting point is 00:46:07 I see what you've been. So don't just get in your car and putt around acting like you've got something else going on. You can't do it. One comment from the Ugandan government says this. This is an order, not a voluntary exercise. Every Ugandan has a role to play in ensuring that our homes, markets, schools, workplaces, and public spaces remain clean. I mean, we've had, well, you had a previous job and this current job, people set aside and
Starting point is 00:46:41 saying, hey, listen, you want to work here, you got to shower, man. You got to do something about your hygiene. You got to wash yourself. Yeah. I guess we've had that kind of order laid down upon us. Yeah, where the bosses have to step in. Clean your ass. So they more or less are saying that the police will knock a Ugandan on their ass if they have to.
Starting point is 00:47:04 in order to get this clean and done. The word is the reason this is such a serious piece of business is that the Ugandan government believes that the cleaner folks keep things the better they will stay healthy. The arithmetic here says that 75% of diseases affecting Ugandans comes from poor sanitation, inadequate waste management, and unhygienic environments. So the cleaner you are, the healthier we're all going to be.
Starting point is 00:47:40 They're looking to improve public health, reduce environmental pollution, this and that, ease the burden on their health care system. It's a friggin thing, and you better play along, or you might get a lick upside the head. Kind of awesome when you think about it. Yeah, a little bit. I'm trying to think what we got here. I mean, I don't know if it's the same in the suburb. suburbs, but in Minneapolis growing up, we had to certainly shovel our walks, and we had to mow the boulevard. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:15 Yeah, what a pain in the ass that is. You're dealing with it right now, right? I am, yeah. You get fined. Yes. I don't know how far they can go if you continue not doing it, but, yeah, the city will come after you. I feel bad for the people to live on the corner because then they got to do like the double sidewalk all the way on both sides. That's what we did.
Starting point is 00:48:30 Oh, man, that looks awful. And I would get lazy sometimes. You know, I just rest the shovel on my waist. If you hit a crack or just like a raise in the pavement on one, man, you're just doubled over for a while. We were probably that house growing up where the cops were almost called over how long the grass would get. Because my brother and I would fight over whose turn it was to mow the lawn, right? Of course, all we had was just garbage push mower, and it just sucked to mow our yard.
Starting point is 00:48:57 We had a big yard. So I remember once or twice my mother saying, you know, the police are going to come if you guys don't mow the frigging lawn. Oh, it would just be... And now, as an adult, there's no way I could mentally even handle looking out my window and seeing the yard in that much disrepair. I'm kind of... I'm not totally obsessive about it, but I do enjoy having it look, you know, decent. When we were kids, Jesus, I... Is that recently?
Starting point is 00:49:26 I thought not too long ago you didn't really care too much about the lawn? About the length of it? Yeah. Oh, I don't... I can't recall what you... Maybe it was more just... other people paying attention to other people's lawn. Oh, I could never understand why someone would call the authorities over someone's lawn.
Starting point is 00:49:42 But I remember my mother saying to my brother and I, look, if you don't get out there, we're going to get in trouble. You have to do something because we would just sit there all day and point the finger at each other. I agree with you, Nick, but not care about other people's yard because a couple of our neighbors have garbage yards and just makes me proud that ours is maintained. Yeah, I don't care. There's a neighbor of ours just down the block, and they've got, the nicest lawn I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:50:07 I mean, it's perfectly edged. It's always cut perfectly. Their landscaping is beautiful. But their direct neighbor, it's the worst lawn I've ever seen. Dandy lions, all that kind of stuff. And I wonder if they get a little pissy.
Starting point is 00:50:19 They seem like a sweet old couple that take care of their place. But I kind of wonder sometimes because... If neighbors are pissy with them? If this sweet old couple is mad at the next door neighbor who they don't do anything to their lawn. Yeah, I don't know. I kind of wonder if that's...
Starting point is 00:50:33 I mean, I've had the cops called on me for silly things like, you know. Somebody selling a car. Yes. I've sold, I used to sell a lot of cars and boats on my old property. Who's a good spot for that? Because it was a high traffic spot, you know, so anyone, any time one of my friends wanted to sell their car or boat, they'd want to put it in my front yard. And I'd say, yeah, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:50:56 Hell, I think we probably sold three boats and 10 or 12 vehicles on my old property. But then I got a telephone call from the city because one of my neighbors had complained that technically by law, I cannot have a motor vehicle on my lawn. Yes, I can have it on my driveway, but I can't have it on. So, you know, people are capable of all kinds of stupid things. I can't imagine, like I said, ever calling the cops about something like that, a car on a lawn or someone's yard looking like garbage, I can't picture myself doing it, but plenty of people will.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Smooth vanilla Jesus said you used to live in Illinois, and they had a cleanup day, not as strict as Uganda, but they did have one. Interesting. Yeah, until the story I'd never heard of it. All right, what do you make of this here? While we're straightening things out, what do you make of this? There's an offer on the table for folks living in New York City, an offer from one of those techie startup companies, don't you know? And the offer goes like this. Well, let's pretend, Josh, that you're in New York City. Oh, thanks. I'm sorry, I'll pretend. I'll go along with that.
Starting point is 00:52:01 We're only pretending. I'm not sending you anywhere. This flipping startup company will clean your house from one end to the damn other, top to bottoms now, and they'll do it for free. But the catch is the cleaners will wear cameras to record everything that they see and do. They'll clean their asses off for you, no charge, but they'll also record the whole works. That is weird. So you better stash away your headless sex doll torso. You better lock up your illegal street drugs and your...
Starting point is 00:52:33 priceless family heirlooms. Not that the cleaning crew would up and steal those items for you. But as you know, once something gets recorded, you never know where it might end up. So this company goes by the name of Micro AGI, whatever that means. It says here, they film everything that happens in your place while they're cleaning the joint up. They film everything that happens in order to, quote, help train the next generation of household robots.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Hmm. Is that a true story, you think? Is that really what they're doing? Training. They're recording everything in order to train robots. I don't know. It would make me a little nervous that it's not like it's a company from overseas, right? I'd be more inclined to greet it at if it was a local or a meeting in America.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Oh, where are they from? Didn't you say Germany? Did I? Well, if you didn't, it is German. Okay, micro AGI. They're Germans. Well, you can't trust the Germans. maybe somebody could fill in some more details because I basically skimmed a couple stories on robot vacuums are not going to be able to be sold from what I understand for a little while.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Why is that? And again, somebody can maybe help me out because like they map out your homes and they're getting information about your home, right? And some of them are from overseas, some of the companies that own these. I think it's kind of part of a bigger. law on robots in general, but they fall under a category. So maybe it wasn't really designed to outlaw those robot vacuums. You can keep one if you have it, but I thought it was going to be tough to get one now. Oh, okay, techs are coming in right now.
Starting point is 00:54:19 What's that? Yeah, okay, so there's not a lot of information yet. If you know more, let me know, but I think that's the gist of it. It's a security risk of some sort. Yeah. Yeah, I understand. Like China is going to, you know, kind of get too much information. China's going to know where I keep the booze.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Yeah. All right, so this company, micro AGI, they insist that while they're cleaning your house and recording everything in order to train robots for the future, they insist that faces and personal information is automatically anonymized. I've never heard or said that word before. They say that any sensitive materials in your crib will be bull. things like if you have a ID card sitting on the counter, they'll blur that out. So knowing cell phone numbers and things like that. So there you go. Anyone going to allow that?
Starting point is 00:55:16 Boy, getting your house clean for free. Sounds nice. I probably pass on it. I got nothing really to hide in my house. I don't either, but who knows, maybe they're... Every inch of your home is recorded and then fed into a computer? I don't think so, brough. Bar saw Jesus.
Starting point is 00:55:34 said he'd be worried about people finding personal information, you know, bank info stuff like that. Right. Yeah, it just kind of sounds like maybe it's a bad idea. So they're putting a lid on those robot vacuums for a while until this or that gets straightened out. Question. Yes. You know those services you can hire where they're nude and they clean and whatnot? Yes.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Do you think they actually do a good job with the cleaning? I'd imagine that's not really the appeal of why you hire. them? Who cares? All right, yeah, that's about what I thought. The topless cleaners. Yeah, topless cleaners.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Years ago, some old boy at the Legion, his wife died. It was a terribly sad thing, and it was sudden, and you know how that is here. You're a little careful the first couple of times you see the feller. You're a little careful as to how you operate.
Starting point is 00:56:30 You're sensitive that he might be hurting. So I was sitting on a little bit of, the high side of the bar with him. A handful of days after his wife had died. Someone looked up and said, Hey, Donnie, sorry about your old lady. And Donnie said, yeah, I appreciate that. And the first guy again says, well, how you doing?
Starting point is 00:56:51 How's everything going over at your place? And he says, well, I got the topless cleaners signed up to show up. He said, I'm moving on just fine. I got the topless cleaners coming on. Finish is halfway in, Jesus. I missed this story. He said there was just a story which came out, speaking of recording everything. There was a police body cam.
Starting point is 00:57:09 They released. They were arresting a guy. And apparently it showed his Bitcoin wallet information. And somebody stole $1.1.1. $1.1. Oh, can you imagine? Yeah. I don't want everyone knowing what I got going on inside the house.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Well, first off, all they got to do is take one lap around the joint. They know I don't have $1.1 million, but I don't want them taking whatever it is I might have laying around there. Oh, sorry. No, no. I've heard this before. Somebody text in wisely. When it comes to tech, if a service or app is free, you're the product. They're just harvesting data.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Yeah, I've heard that as well. Harvesting. That's the word of the day. If this was Peewee Herman, we'd all be yelling every time somebody said that. All right, how about another word real quick before we go? The F word comes into play again. Go ahead, Cubby. Florida.
Starting point is 00:58:05 Right. The far southeastern portion of the United States of America. This one's real simple. Drinking and driving is for jagoffs. Everybody knows that already. Here's another drinking and driving story. A gal by the name of Roxanne. She was out having some drinky drinks last Friday.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Supposedly celebrating the fact that she had just gone out and bought herself a brand new Rolls-Royce automobile. How about that? That ain't cheap. Roll Royce. You're a fancy lad if you got one of them. So apparently she was out celebrating her new Rolls Royce. Had a few drink skis. Unfortunately, she decided to get behind the wheel after those drinkies.
Starting point is 00:58:53 Oh, what's it say here? She started speeding. She nearly crashed her car into a cop that was parked on the side of the road. She was all over the friggin' place. The cop had to chase stupid Roxanne for a while, but eventually got her to pull on over. He asked Roseanne about nearly hitting him. And she said, yeah, I got a new Rolls Royce. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Cool. Her excuse for almost killing the guy while he was parked on the shoulder, she said the problem was there that the brakes are loose. The brakes are loose. She failed all the fun roadside activities, and she was arrested for DWI. But she got some new Rolls-Royce. She's got some money.
Starting point is 00:59:50 What happened back there? You're driving like crazy. He almost killed me. Yeah, I got a new Rose-Royce. You know, if you're driving a Rolls-Royce, you're going to attract enough attention. That seems like the wrong car to drink and drive-in, right? Oh, no kidding.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Drink and driving a Camry. She has to. Nobody's going to look twice at a Camry. They're everywhere. She effed it all up. Sports on the 93 eggs half-assed morning show. Coach, thank you. We know you win here in Atlanta,
Starting point is 01:00:16 and it looks like you're going to continue that string. He's dressed up as empty seats today, so anyway. Thanks, coach. Fans disguised as empty seats. That's an old timer right there. He likes to poke the bear. It's my favorite NFL head coach, Sean Peyton. He loves all the classic jokes.
Starting point is 01:00:35 Fans disguised as empty seats. That's good. Pip, pip, pip, pip. That's good. I actually kind of liked it. Who the hell does he coach now? The Denver Broncos? That's right.
Starting point is 01:00:45 Sure does. They were playing a preseason game in Atlanta and no one was there and he couldn't help himself. He's just too much damn fun. The Vikings didn't have the greatest weekend, did they? Some dude got hurt. They were counting on this dude. He goes by the name, what's his name, Jamal Adams? He's dead?
Starting point is 01:01:01 He's gone for the season. Oh, he's injured for the scene. That's not good. We'll talk about that a little later when Randy Shaver comes into the mix. We found out when we're going to retire Kevin Garnett's jersey. We found that out. I think it was on Friday. We'll talk about that.
Starting point is 01:01:16 Finally going to retire KG's jersey. It's about time. I'll be damned. You know, he's a team ambassador now, Josh. That's right. And the twins, that one hurt. This one hurts for the twins. It does.
Starting point is 01:01:28 They were up 5-0 yesterday, lost the ball game. And they were swept by the Philadelphia Phillies. Things are starting to look a little. Things are starting to. I know two or three times this season, things have started to look bad, and then they were able to come back. Do they have it in them again? We'll see because they're starting to slip.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Covey's News is coming up next. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust standard heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time.
Starting point is 01:02:05 Get $75 off your first service. service or tune-up. And while you're added, mention 93X. Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits
Starting point is 01:02:30 for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. or go to Bialkylaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Mike Trott, hosted by former Navy SEAL, Mike Ridland. What is your take?
Starting point is 01:02:50 Was it what you expected? How was the best thing ever? It was something I always wanted to do. If you show me a clear goal, I'm like, okay, I can do that. Master Chief, he's like, you realize there's about 1% chance that you make it through. 1%. That's all I need Master Chief. My platoon went home early, and I just went up to my chief, and I was like, I'm not going home.
Starting point is 01:03:06 Turns out I'm staying. That's when we go to war. I was like, okay, I could get used to this. Mic drop. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. You're listening to the radio. The 93X half-assed morning show. I've complained about the dogs. Put the s' shit in my yard.
Starting point is 01:03:24 I said something to his old lady yesterday morning about it. She said she'd pick it up. Four hours later, it was still there. I'd stand it on the edge of the driver right there. Turns out you don't need a property line dispute or a loud stereo to turn neighbors into enemies. Sometimes all it takes is a dog, digestion, and a driveway. A Lake County, Florida man is accused of getting into a fight with a neighbor over dog poop. The couple next door told police they'd been involved in an ongoing dispute with the 35-year-old over dog feces
Starting point is 01:03:53 piling up on their driveway and his. The day the husband told police the dispute over to poop hit the fan was when the man entered the couple's home without permission. The man was visibly irate and apparently had reached his limit with the poop. So he picked it up, carried it over to the neighbors, and expedited the excrement expressed to the address. And that's when things got messy. Police say after he delivered the doo-doo directly to the neighbor's door, which he opened without permission,
Starting point is 01:04:23 he threw the dog feces at the victim, giving him a turd bath. So he threw it all over the front step and then he threw it in their face? Right at the guy, yeah. And that's when things turned physical. Now featuring a fresh coat of canine crap, the neighbor tried to get the madman off his property and a fist fight broke out. According to an arrest affidavit, the man struck the victim in the head, then grabbed a kid's scooter and hoisted the metal frame over his own head in what police called a menacing posture, while shouting threats at the husband.
Starting point is 01:04:53 That was more than enough for officers to slap on the cuffs. And judging by the body cam audio, the cops thought he was kind of a dick. Then you've got to be aggressive. You ain't got to be a little d'i for no reason. I'm not being a bit of a talk to you. I'm not being a bit of five years old. What was going on there? They're trying to put him in cuffs, and the guy, you know, was resisting.
Starting point is 01:05:14 I love the cops. They're like, hey, you know what? You don't have to be a dick for no reason and act like a five-year-old. Once the man was hauled in for questioning, he held firm to his version of events, claiming he and the neighbor used to be tight, and they had a standing agreement just to walk into each other's property, without knocking first. Police brought that claim to the neighbor who debunked it by playing a video where he explicitly told his neighbor
Starting point is 01:05:39 to stay off his property, especially when carrying poop. So, I mean, that obviously was the wrong move for the dude to walk uninvited into someone's home and start throwing feces everywhere. But you can understand the frustration. The neighbor dog is deuceing all over his driveway? Yeah, they've had apparently... Odd place for a dog to...
Starting point is 01:06:01 relieve itself in the first place. It is weird. So I could see bitten upset. Yeah. But yeah, he went a little too far and punching the guy in the head didn't help. In air traffic controllers, quick thinking helped avert a dangerous situation late Thursday night when two American Airlines jets, one landing, the other simultaneously taking off, shared the same flight number and radio frequency.
Starting point is 01:06:24 Oh, Jesus. Two jets, one call sign. America 2482 on the arrival. I need you to maintain one zero. thousand. On the departure, I need you to maintain $90,000. Traffic 1 o'clock in 10 miles is your company. Same call sign. Incredible. We're looking. Thank you. The veteran controller realized American Airlines flight 2482 from Chicago was coming in for a landing at Phoenix Sky Harbor International, while another American flight had just taken off and was
Starting point is 01:06:51 headed for Chicago. They shouldn't have the same numbers. No. No, this was a big mistake. That can be very confusing. Both were on converging flights and had the same call sign. Turns out the mix-up tracked back to a delay. American Airlines said the situation was triggered because the flight arriving from Chicago O'Hare International was late. That plane was supposed to land in Phoenix, take on new passengers, and return to Chicago with the same call sign, which is fine, until another plane is already using it. So the controller did the aviation equivalent of putting name tags on everybody. He began giving instructions by differentiating the two aircraft, using American 2482 departing, an American 2482 arriving, so the pilots knew who was who.
Starting point is 01:07:37 I've been working air traffic for 25 years. I've never seen two aircraft pretty much emerge with the same calls sign. That's pretty incredible. Could have been disastrous, but I'm glad it all worked out. Yeah, we're going to say, good job. I've never seen that either, so nice work. The FAA is investigating the internet. Don't do that.
Starting point is 01:07:53 No, stop that. Stop that. Yeah, that could have been really bad. If the guy was asleep at the wheel there, or the yoke maybe, then those two planes could have crashed. Trouble. As an update to the guy who was a hard fart away from getting yeated out of a Ryanair plane last month, investigators now know what caused it.
Starting point is 01:08:12 The NTSB said broken engine fragments smashed into the cabin window, causing the man's head and shoulder to get sucked right through that hole. I missed that. We talked about it. The wife kind of grabbed onto his legs and held him in. Does that ring a bell? No, it does not. A dude got sucked half a ball.
Starting point is 01:08:29 way out the airplane? Yeah. Head and shoulder. Where were they? Thousands of feet in the air? They were up and the air. Yeah, I'm not sure if they were on their way up, down, or just cruising Did he come in with like a layer of ice on him? How high up were they? It's completely frozen. That's not right. Here's a little insider aviation terminology for you. At first they thought maybe it was a bird, right? They crashed into that thing. Now they learned it was an engine part. That's concerning. But the remains of birds following a collision with an aircraft is called snarge. The origin of the term appears to be a military aviation slang.
Starting point is 01:09:02 I'll be damned. And a combination of the words snot and garbage. Snarge is what a bird leaves behind at 30,000 feet. Some sad news is actress Hayden Panettiere, who starred in Remember the Titans and the TV series Heroes, has died at only 36 years old. It's with profound sadness that we share the tragic passing of our beloved Hayden.
Starting point is 01:09:26 She was an incredible light and a force of nature who brought immeasurable love and joy to all who knew her and to the millions who watched her on screen, her dad said in a statement. Panettiere, who also starred in the TV series Nashville along with the fourth and six screen movies.
Starting point is 01:09:44 TMZ said police had responded to an incident involving Hayden and they were investigating her death. Well, what the hell? That's terribly sad. It's incredibly sad. You know, I don't know if it has anything to do anything, but a lot of the stories had mentioned she's been having back pain in the last year.
Starting point is 01:10:00 Enough stories mentioned it that I bring it up. Well, and how old? 36 only. Christ. 79-year-old Martin Cove, best known for playing villain John Crease and the Karate Kid and Netflix's Cobra Kai, was recently rescued from rising floodwaters at his Tennessee home. When he walked to the front of the house, he said raging water was within about 10,000, 10 feet of the building,
Starting point is 01:10:26 Cove, his girlfriend, and their 12-week-old Poppy Winston, were surrounded by water before firefighters arrive to boat them to rescue. Jesus. All of a sudden, I turned around and looked out the back, and 10 feet from the house was a raging river. I'll say this much. The last couple of times I saw that guy on television, because he's no kid.
Starting point is 01:10:46 79. He didn't look terribly mobile anymore. Yeah, it was pretty forced in Cobra Chi when they would have him swing a couple karate kicks. He could kind of tell they mixed in a stunt double or two. So I imagine he's pretty lucky to get the hell out of there. And he feels that way. There's no way he could have gotten
Starting point is 01:11:04 himself out of there. He called 911 but said he urged dispatchers not to make him the priority after learning other neighbors were also dealing with the emergencies including a nearby family he was told had water inside their home. Cove joked, some of the first responders were karate kid and cobra Kai
Starting point is 01:11:20 fans referencing his famous no mercy philosophy from the franchise. I'm sure he never gets tired of that one. The responders said there was no mercy here, referring to the flood. But Kov disagreed. He said he believes he did receive a lot of mercy from God. Lucky bastard, huh? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:40 I'm glad his fate was better in real life than it was in Cobra Kai in which he died in a yacht explosion. Oh, he did? Yep. That's just like something out of the WWE. Seriously. They were running out of ideas towards the end there. I stopped watching it. I really loved it the first couple seasons, and then it got to be too much of like a teen soap opera.
Starting point is 01:11:59 It's for the best that you stopped, Josh. I gave up on it also, Josh, after a little while. I had good time with it, but. Oh, yeah. Johnny Lawrence. After a while, I did not care who emerged victorious in that silly rivalry. In the battle for the soul of the valley? Yeah, I didn't care anymore.
Starting point is 01:12:14 Yeah, you know, and they made Danielins as such a prick. That kind of bothered me because, you know, I felt so differently in Cobra Chi than I did in the movies. He comes back around by the end, but yeah, you both are better off for having just enjoyed it for what it was and quitting. Ralph Machio will always be a pimp in my book. Yep. Americans received an estimated 4.4 billion robocalls last month. Robocalls. Setting an annoying new high watermark for digital aggravation.
Starting point is 01:12:44 I've been getting a ton recently. Last month, I don't remember outside of, boy, I was so glad when the primaries were over because I was getting so many tax and phone calls. to get out and vote and whatnot. They've been getting a lot. Your number fell into the wrong hands somehow. I have no idea. I mean, I sign up for the do not call list. I have no clue.
Starting point is 01:13:03 That was your problem right there. You know what? I kind of wondered that. Was this a trick? They know all those do not call lists. You know what they do? What's that? They call them.
Starting point is 01:13:14 Yeah, all I did was I went to do not call list winky emoji.gov. Every time and unexpected call flashes on the screen. Of course, there's that. Brief hope, it might be a booty call. But then you discover it's a scam offer to consolidate your debt rather than a haughty looking to liquefy your assets, as it were. Spam calls bottomed out in October last year when it staged a massive comeback tour, however, this year. July's most common pitch was the pre-approved loan offer. Pick up one of those and you're suddenly, quote, qualified for a massive personal loan with suspiciously low payments,
Starting point is 01:13:52 a deal so good it's imaginary. Some states got hit harder than others. Numbers with Texas, Georgia, and Indiana area codes took the biggest spike. They do tend to target people in economic straits. So you'll see the cities where there are people who the economies aren't doing as well get more robocalls in the cities where the economies are flying, right? You see the South actually get more robocalls because people in the South are more polite and answer the phone more. I kind of surprised me. I never would have thought that'd be a part of it, but I guess it makes sense. I don't have the same problems you do, Covey, but I do get a lot of text messages these days from tree trimming companies that I've never heard of that are in my neighborhood and they're looking to whop a llama's ass for me. Yeah, I've had that with window washing companies.
Starting point is 01:14:33 How do they, how does that happen? What's up, bro? They say, we're in the neighborhood. Want us to stop by? The other thing I've been getting, and I'm assuming these are like fishing attempts to find out if your number is active, like, hey, how you been? It's been a long time. That kind of thing. They're really pumping you, huh?
Starting point is 01:14:52 Yeah. I mean, it's just lately in the last month they've been going after me. All right, can I confess something, Josh? What's that? I give your phone number at every website I see. Well, that makes sense because I'm getting, I mean, good on you, good prank. Even strangers, you know. She's like, hey, do you want my buddy Josh's number?
Starting point is 01:15:05 Hit him up sometime. Yeah, well, maybe I'll make a new friend. The FCC has tried cracking down before, but spammers keep finding ways to get through. The Senate passed a new bill aimed at calls sneaking in from overseas, hoping to finally hang up on spam calls for good. That'd be nice. I mean, I just, like, probably every day I have to block and report spam a phone number. Well, what the hell is going on out there?
Starting point is 01:15:31 A Louisiana man decided to play neighborhood hero with a vending machine on his property. Nice gesture, many thought. Until they learned it wasn't stocked with soft drinks or snacks, it was dispensing pot drinks and smack to neighborhood children. A real community-first business model If your community is the lower circle of hell Narcotics officers arrested 35-year-old Jonathan Coburn After getting word, children were buying drugs
Starting point is 01:15:58 Right out of the machine A vending machine like out in his yard? Yeah, in his garage. In his garage. Kids, well, they called it a car park. Oh, that's English. Yeah, well, it's in Louisiana. I don't know why they called it that.
Starting point is 01:16:11 Oh, then it's French. Kids were walking away with THC vapes, THC gummies, mushroom candy bars, and more, all from what's now Louisiana's most controversial vending machine. Every item had a price tag like it was a legitimate operation. A disposable THC vape ran $35. So if a neighborhood kid was looking at a quick high, the vending machine had options, just not the options.
Starting point is 01:16:36 Maybe a pediatrician would recommend. Coburn's criminal history doesn't read like a rap sheet. It's more of a crime novel, packed with dozens upon dozens of conditions. convictions spanning over years. What the hell was this guy thinking? I don't know. How did he? I mean, it seems like there's a good likelihood you're going to get caught quite easy.
Starting point is 01:16:55 They're just watching all these kids sneak up to his garage. He trusted that the kids weren't going to say anything about it. Yeah. Obviously, maybe not the brightest gentleman out there. Season 18 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia begins tonight. Never saw it. I haven't either. I get so much crap for not watching it.
Starting point is 01:17:14 It looks really funny. It's, if you like dark humor, it is absolutely fantastic. Yeah, I like... That's what I do. Yeah, that's right in your wheelhouse. I like dark humor. I like many of the actors on there. Yeah, it's fantastic.
Starting point is 01:17:27 I know, Nick, you don't like Charlie Day, so that'd be a turnoff for you. I didn't like him in what I've seen so far. I kind of wanted to choke the prick. So, yeah, that starts tonight. I know that's a big one for a lot of people. Maybe I'd like his character this time around, but yeah, in what I've seen him so far, I kind of want to kick him in the face. Yeah, there's no real reason I haven't watched it.
Starting point is 01:17:47 I just outside. Now there's 18 seasons, right? Jesus. Yeah, a lot of them are like 10 or 12 episodes of season, and they go back fast. That's a pretty good poke. And I'll start at the thing in season two. Whenever Danny DeVito gets there, that's where you need to start because that's when the show really kind of catches its form.
Starting point is 01:18:04 Oh, really? Season 1's not as good. It's funny, but they really get going once DeVito shows up. He'll improve any situation. I agree. He's great. Donovan Andrew Danhausen, better known as Danhausen. from the WWE 36 today.
Starting point is 01:18:18 Sean Penn, 66. Robert De Niro, 83. Happy birthday to Calvin. Ashley's little guy celebrating the Big 01. Most kids spend their first year figuring out how to crawl and discovering they have a butt, making sure everyone else knows about it. Discovering they have a butt. Yeah, it's kind of fun for kids. What's this?
Starting point is 01:18:39 Calvin, he went ahead and survived cancer, proving he's every bit the badass his mom is. So happy first birthday, Calvin. Your honorary uncles here at 93X are pretty damn proud of you. Once again, we get the great pleasure to welcome a new member of the sisterhood. Josephine became the newest sisterhood member early Saturday morning. Congratulations to Jimmy's Cat Dad Jesus and the better half. And a shout out to plays too much baseball Jesus headed to Fort Dodge, Iowa for his first year of college. And that's 93X News.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder. on the half-ass morning show. Swing. Swag is major league history at Wrigley Field. Yes, with his mamel. And around 30 other family members in attendance, a kid by the name of Joshua Baez making his big league debut for the St. Louis Cardinals this past Saturday.
Starting point is 01:19:55 Playing in Chicago against the Cubs. Baez did something never done before. He homered three times in his big league debut, including on the first big league pitch he had ever faced. He finished a day going three for four with five RBI. How do I say that? Three for four with five RBI. What do you make of that, Randy Schaever and Bradrider?
Starting point is 01:20:17 Pretty amazing. Kind of hard to top that. Yes. He is on pace now to hit 426 home runs in his first year of organized baseball. Yes, he's going to do it. Would that be a record? My God. We have to look it up.
Starting point is 01:20:33 No, bonds top that. Yeah, a couple of times. I'll tell you what, that is pretty special. I don't know if you saw the highlights. The kid just looks cool. He just kind of got that, you know, that juice to him a little bit. I agree. Now, I don't know Dick Tracy about Joshua Baez.
Starting point is 01:20:51 I'd never heard of the kid before, but I wonder if I was a St. Louis Cardinals fan, if this was the kid they've all been waiting for, or if this came out of absolute nowhere. I'm in a home run pool league, like not really fantasy baseball, but it's where you draft beginning every year and all you get is their homeruns. Okay. And so I am scouring my roster this morning, hoping and praying that one of my regulars is injured because every Monday if you have an injury, you can put that person on the injured reserve
Starting point is 01:21:25 and pick up somebody. I bet that be a smart pickup. That would be. You know, every fantasy sports conversation we have on this show, Josh, they get dorkier every time. I've never heard of a home run pool. You haven't? Oh, I've been in one for about 20 years now. Three home runs in his big league debut.
Starting point is 01:21:47 Never been done before in thousands of years of Major League baseball. I remember being at Target Field and watching Eddie Rosario hit a home. home run and I believe his very first major league at bat and he had a lot of family in the stands and they lost their ever-loving minds. God, I miss watching Eddie Rosario play baseball for the twins. Yeah, he was
Starting point is 01:22:12 cool. Damn, he was a solid player. Whatever happened to him, is he still on a roster somewhere? I went to the Atlanta. You know, he won the World Series with the Braves a couple three years ago for it. Whatever the hell it was, the britt. And then that's the last I really heard of the sum bitch. Eddie Rosario.
Starting point is 01:22:28 if anybody can catch me up on what he's doing these days that was really cool to see and I think I have that information accurately I believe he went yard in his first big league at bat there at Target Field yeah it looks like he called it a career did he yeah he's done last play still a relatively young guy injuries must have piled up or something he played for the Braves last year and looks like that was it oh grilled cheese Jesus again the brother and sisterhood always straighten us out. He says Rosario's home run that I was just referencing was also
Starting point is 01:23:03 on the first pitch he saw. F me running. I remember seeing his family in the stands. I mean, they were doing somersaults over that. And who could blame him? Who could blame him? First, that bad first pitch? Oh, this isn't so hard. Right.
Starting point is 01:23:18 But again, I'm wondering if this Baez kid was like oh, like a Byron Buxton type of a character where we could not wait for him to get to the big or if this was totally unexpected for it. Right. Like Bucks and Sineau and the twins are bad. Just wait until Bucks and Sinell get here.
Starting point is 01:23:33 Just wait until Bucks and Sinell get here. We heard about that for years, didn't we? Oh, for sure. If I'm not mistaken, I think I also watch Gary Gaietti hit a home run in his first at bat as a Minnesota twin back when I was a kid. Long time ago, I could have gone sideways on that statistic, but I also think that Gary Gaietti went Yardski in his first crack.
Starting point is 01:23:56 What, 1981? Something like that. Two? 81 or 2. All right, speaking to the twins, this one really hurts for the twins. It does. Oh, for sure. This one hurts.
Starting point is 01:24:07 The fellas who were up five rip in yesterday's ball game, they upped and lost seven to five. This one has a potential to be a deal breaker. And what I mean by that is the kind of loss that kills a club deep down inside. Do any of you know how much a man can hurt inside? What movie, The Naked Gun? Frank Grevin, 1988. The twins have come back from some moments this baseball season where we all collectively said,
Starting point is 01:24:35 ah, this might be where they finally slip right out. They've come back from a few of these bad vibes before, but can they do it again now in the situation that they're in with the time with the games remaining? I don't know. And the amount of teams they need to leap frog. Speaking to the Atlanta Braves, they've got to play the Braves now,
Starting point is 01:24:52 who are one of the top teams in the league. That was a nightmare yesterday. You were right about games. Eric Iady, by the way. September 20th, 1981, first at bat, hit a homer. Damn, I'm good, Cubby. I'm just that damn good. So there you go. The Phillies scored four.
Starting point is 01:25:09 Twins were up five-nothing. Brooks Lee hit a grand slam. Cody Clemens also went yard for the twins. They're up five-nothing. Filly scored four in the sixth, three in the eighth. They ended up sweeping the series. Twins are now four in ten in August, so it's starting to go the other way. Yep. I think they're 500 500 right now
Starting point is 01:25:31 and last week I said they've got to get around 500 before I think anybody's going to take them seriously and yeah they're going to have to start winning some series
Starting point is 01:25:40 in a hurry. Can they come back again? Bailey Ober starts tonight to kick off that series against the Atlanta Braves. Well, there's a lot of time left. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:52 And, you know, they've got a lot of opportunities but I'm with you. There are so many teams that are bunched up in that chase. and as long as somebody doesn't take off, they've got an opportunity, but you know something's going to happen. Something's going to shake. Somebody's going to take off, and that's going to be the end of all these 500 teams who think they have a chance to make the postseason.
Starting point is 01:26:17 The season, from a calendar perspective, it ends earlier this year than it does in most other years, too. I was looking at this. I mean, there's some time, but there's only 30-some games left because, you know, the calendar's weird. with Labor Day being late and everything else. If the season ends like the 23rd or 24th of September, something like that. And the schedule came out for the World Series. It'll be wrapped up before November this year. Yes.
Starting point is 01:26:41 Halloween will be Game 7. Am I right about that? I looked it up. I think Game 7 of the World Series would be Halloween night. I could be wrong. This is coffee and cuddles with my cat, Jesus, has texted in. The twins, he says, the twins are 0 and 3 since Buckston. came back. Let's disregard the fact
Starting point is 01:27:01 that they're playing the Philadelphia film. Let's put it on Buck. Yeah, really. And the fact that he came back from injury. Mm-hmm. Yep. That's what's boning him. Buck came back. All right. So they'll
Starting point is 01:27:17 start up that series at home against the Braves. Oh yeah, this is great. Orange Blossom special Jesus texted in. Love this bit. He says what was even cooler about Eddie Rassar his first home run with the twins over there at Target Field is that when he got back into the dugout, every single person on the team was sitting down and completely ignoring him.
Starting point is 01:27:37 I love that bit. That's so fun. That's such a good bit. It's an all-timer. Let's make a promise. The next guy on this program that makes us just a killer joke, nobody make a sound. We'll see how long we can hang on to it.
Starting point is 01:27:53 How would I be able to tell the difference between that and when I do? Well, first off, Brad Ryder. Bradrider, you need to. execute a killer joke. More often than not, Brad Reader. You're kind of the guy that gets crickets around here. I don't think that's the game. And you can only blame yourself.
Starting point is 01:28:11 I'm kidding, Brad. You're a very funny guy. For Christ's sake, it's Monday. I'm busting your ball. I was giving you the same treatment in reverse. Were you? It's cold-blooded. Tommy John is dead. Yeah. Tommy John, 83 years old.
Starting point is 01:28:31 Pitched a long time in Major League Baseball. He was one of these guys where you look his stats and you go, that'll never happen again. 21 wins, 22 wins, 20 wins as he's going through his career. Those guys just don't exist anymore. Well, the game has changed so much.
Starting point is 01:28:46 Tommy John passed away peacefully at his home in Florida. He was in hospice care. He recently had shared like an emotional farewell message to baseball fans. He kind of knew it was coming. But, of course, you know,
Starting point is 01:29:01 Well, the surgery that he had in 19, was it 74? Yep. He had torn his ulnar collateral ligament. And at that point in time, that meant you're done playing baseball. But this experimental surgery was performed on Tommy. And hell, he came back and pitched. He pitched 15 more years. Unbelievable.
Starting point is 01:29:28 Wow. Yeah. He pitched 15 more years. after that surgery. That surgery, which was named after the man, has now saved how many baseball careers so. What if you got royalties anytime
Starting point is 01:29:42 Tommy John surgery has been mentioned in sports over the years? You would have made a lot of money. Sure. I never thought of it that way, but I suppose you're right. 26 years in the pigs. 26 years Tommy John went. Other guy, other people who have kids, specifically boys,
Starting point is 01:29:58 I guess, in these sports can maybe chime in and text in, but it's become a thing, and I'm not kidding, it's becoming a thing where actually younger kids, and I hate to say this, because I wouldn't wish this upon my kid, but they want to have this surgery because people claim now it makes that ligament even stronger. So maybe the theory is now, go ahead and get that surgery even if you don't need it? Well, I mean, go ahead and blow your elbow out because, yeah, you're going to have to take a year or so off, but you're going to be. going to come back better than you were before. You get nothing to worry about. You're lined up for Tommy John surgery. You're good to go.
Starting point is 01:30:40 26 years in the bigs, Tommy John. Pitch for the Indians, the White Sox, the Dodgers, the Angels, athletics, Yankees. Am I mistaken here? He also called games for the Yankees for many years, correct? Called games for the twins for a couple years. That's right. He did. That's right. I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Well, we're sorry to see him go. I always get a kick out of this anniversary.
Starting point is 01:31:06 Every baseball season we get to bring this up. It was 69 years ago today. 1957. Richie Ashburn of the Philadelphia Phillies. He's up to the plate. He hits a foul ball that smoked some gal in the stands by the name of Alice Roth. Smoked her right in a mush and broke her nose for her. As Alice was being taken out of the ball.
Starting point is 01:31:33 park on a stretcher, Ashbourne, Ashburn, still at the plate, hit her with another foul ball. Just to make sure she felt it the first time. Hey, I'm the guy. Jesus God. Can you imagine? Just to make sure she's really out of there.
Starting point is 01:31:53 Hey, that was me. That was me that did that. That was me. That's cosmic right there, Josh. It's cosmic. You've got to be kidding. She's strapped down to a stretcher. She's just spraying plasma all over herself from the broken nose. Well, at least that's over with. He chucks another one into the stands.
Starting point is 01:32:15 I wish she would have mentioned where he hit Alice the second time around. Right in the crotch. She took that one right in the... Yowsers. All right. Yeah, that's always mentioned. There's a crowd out there who doesn't want to let that anniversary go. by the wayside. A Little League World Series team has been accused of cheating. We get that every year, don't we?
Starting point is 01:32:42 Yes, we do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Much. Daniel Monte. Sure, I remember that story. He was like 21 in pitching for a little league team.
Starting point is 01:32:50 Yeah, he was in his late 20s. He was the side of between playing hockey at Mancato State or pitching for a little league. You stole the joke. I was going to go there. That one would have went nowhere, Brad. Yeah. Listen, you guys hear that? Yes.
Starting point is 01:33:10 Come on, Brad. Come on, you could do better. You had nothing. I wasn't born who said it, though. What does it say here now? The Iwoeigen-Davonport Northwest Little League Ball Club, whoever they are, they clinched the Midwest Regional Championship last Friday with a win over Wiscoe, Whitefish Bay. But the Wiscoe players are claiming that the Iwoegian kids were still.
Starting point is 01:33:34 stealing signs from the catcher to the pitcher. And there's video. I saw video. It does look like the kids were stealing signs. Iwoeesian player on second base. He keeps peering around the pitcher and touching his helmet when a pitch is about to be delivered. The Wisconsin catcher noticed, alerted his coach. The coach complained, but nobody was ejected.
Starting point is 01:33:57 The Iwoegens held on to win the game. They're now going to the real full-on four-alarm, Little League World Series, not just the regional stuff. So the Wisconsin teams, they feel boned on this deal. They said it was obvious someone was stealing signs or the players were, and no one did anything about it. Change your signs. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:20 Well, yeah, but in Little League, that's a no-no. You see what I'm saying? Just the fact that they did it once, they feel like they should have been, someone should have been ejected. So I guess the Iyo-Eging club is going to continue on. Anyways, I don't know if there's any Wiscoe folks in our listening audience who are taking this terribly hard, but that's the story. Good guess. Medical device Jesus texted in. Let me guess.
Starting point is 01:34:47 This Little League team that cheated is from Ann Arbor, Michigan? No. Stealing signs. Yeah, in Little League, that's a big deal. So, there you go. What does this say? Oh. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:06 Okay, we'll get to this. We'll get to this, Joe. gosh, I see where you're going. That's a good tag. The Vikings played a game over the weekend, I'm told. But that's not really what anyone's talking about. They've lost this Jamal Adams character for the rest of the season. This was a man.
Starting point is 01:35:24 They were counting on him to contribute in his first preseason game with the Vikings on Saturday. First time ever pulling a Vikings uniform over the top of his head. He suffered one of those non-contact injuries, and he's all done. And now people are bringing. up the turf. The push for natural grass. People can talk about it until they're blue in the face.
Starting point is 01:35:51 It's not going to change. It's right. Because of money and this and that, it's never going to happen. It's not going to change. Every ballpark is going to be natural grass. Well, that New York Stadium has been long talked about as having some of the worst turf in the league. Yep. And that's where dude went down.
Starting point is 01:36:07 MetLife Stadium, where the Giants and Jets play. That says here there's no official data. that makes it appear to be any more unsafe than any other field, but there was clear belief among players that it is a problem. So this kid, this Jamal Adams, I didn't see the play. I did. It was very much a non-contact injury. Didn't really look like much.
Starting point is 01:36:31 Yeah. Yeah, it's too bad. Studies show that turf fields in general cause more injuries, especially leg injuries, more than so you get from natural grass. And, of course, the big beef specifically about MetLife Stadium is they just had natural grass in that frigging ballpark for that silly soccer tournament and they pulled it all up to go back to their fake grass. So people are saying, well, why the hell didn't you just keep the, you see where they're going with that? Oh, yeah, sure. Didn't the same thing happen to Chad Greenway in his first preseason game he tore his ACL? I want to say it was on the opening kickoff.
Starting point is 01:37:09 I think you're right. I miss that. Yeah, and he was done for the year. And obviously he bounced back and very great player. Yeah. He was 23, though. Jamal Adams is 30s. And I've heard, I don't know anything about this,
Starting point is 01:37:24 Jamal Adams. I never heard of the guy until the bike signed him a couple weeks ago. I heard he has some injury issues. He has had some injury issues. So now this could set the stage for this Harrison Smith dude to come back. I don't know. Yeah, he'll come riding back into town, I'm sure. That's kind of the theory.
Starting point is 01:37:43 But you're right. People can whine all they want about the fake turf. It's less expensive and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, where things will likely never change. Which is a damn shame. She was only a matter of time before these articles began to pop up. It says here, totally unproven and injury-prone third-string quarterback J.J. McCarthy wants out of Minnesota ASAFP. No surprise there.
Starting point is 01:38:13 No. This story was posted by a longtime NFL. insider by the name of Jason La Canfaria. Lankfah. Yeah, it's one of those names I've read many times, but I have no idea how to pronounce it. It says here for the time being, J.J. McCarthy has no trade value, but if someone's starter gets hurt and a team needs live human beings at quarterback, that will change. Well, you know that will happen at some point during the preseason or regular season.
Starting point is 01:38:46 Somebody's going to get hurt somewhere. Yeah. but whether that means the Vikings will deal him or not, I think that's a tough call at this point. I saw some delusional Vikings fans thinking they could get a second or a third for him. Oh, no. Just I laugh my ass off. That's part of the reason why they're probably not going to trade him right away
Starting point is 01:39:06 because they recognize that they're going to get pennies on the dollar for him. What's this say? Someone texted in to say Carson Wentz is injured as well. Are we talking about just generally overall or he has a new problem? see anything. He had to come back in and finish the game after Brosmer got hurt, I think, on Saturday. Oh, okay. I didn't see it. Carson Wentz has always hurt, isn't he? It seems that way. I mean,
Starting point is 01:39:28 that's just every day he's in pain. Well, that game in London last year, they basically left him out there just to die. Remind me of that Simpson's meme where the kids go, stop, stop, he's already dead. Yeah, I remember him taking a beating. Okay.
Starting point is 01:39:50 Your mom's plumber, Jesus, said, I was wrong about grass fields. We will have grass on the field. Is that like just a pubic hair joke? Where are you going with this? Your mom's plumber, Jesus. He's saying, I'm wrong. We will have grass fields everywhere.
Starting point is 01:40:07 Soon enough. Okay. Tell us why you say that, your mom's plumber, Jesus. Why do you say that this will happen, that fields will turn to all grass? Or admit you're making some joke. I don't. I'd like to know more about that.
Starting point is 01:40:22 We're listening, your mom's plumber, Jesus. So social media is poking pretty good fun at Jaden Daniels. There's some good stuff. Let's reiterate now from last week. Washington Commodore's quarterback Jaden Daniels, former Heisman Trophy winner at Louisiana State University. He's engaged in a dispute with his former school over the fact that his old number five jersey is still being worn.
Starting point is 01:40:52 He and his family think after the unbelievable accomplishments that he had at LSU, that no one should ever wear that jersey number ever again. They thought that LSU would immediately put that jersey number on the shelf forever because Jaden was so incredible. Not only is Daniels upset, but his lawyer has also sent the school a formal cease and desist letter demanding that they stop using his name, image, and likeness. So social media is really going after Jaden Daniels. Stubhub posted something on social media that said
Starting point is 01:41:27 We will no longer offer tickets in groups of five Out of respect for Jaden Gann You can only get tickets for four or six Or a number higher than they say thank you for your understanding But that's how they're going to I saw somewhere where they In Washington training camp you can no longer do high fives.
Starting point is 01:41:53 Yes. Only fours. Yep. Teammates have been instructed to only give high fours. Come on. Just a regular average schmuck said he ordered the number five at Jimmy Johns and he got a voicemail from Jaden Daniels. The Baltimore Orioles who are right there in the same neighborhood with the Washington
Starting point is 01:42:25 Commodores, of course, the Orioles don't care. They posted on their social media that the other night, when the Orioles were playing a ballgame, they went from four to six runs out of respect for Jaden Daniels. Alan Jackson, it says you're the famous country singer. Alan Jackson has changed the name of one of his top songs to its four o'clock somewhere. The jokes go on and on and on. That's so good. That's so good.
Starting point is 01:42:52 Jaden Daniels lawyers have asked the rock band Nickelback to change their name to penny back because if it's uncomfortably close association with the number five. Are you guys coming to the four-finger death punch concert with me next week? That's where it's going to have to be now.
Starting point is 01:43:14 That'd be funny if they did that. And, you know, back to Tommy John's surgery. A hockey dad, Jesus texted in this morning. and he said hopefully there's never a Jaden Daniels surgery. You can bet he'll want royalties for that. So it's a big mess. Did we find out for sure if this is like his mom behind it all? We don't know.
Starting point is 01:43:33 We kind of speculated on that based on her being on the show quarterback on Netflix. Jaden Daniels posted something on social media, blah, blah, blah. I'm dialed into the Commodores and we want to win and I'm working hard on my game and that's what I'm focusing on. You know, athletes always send that kind of little message out whenever there's a side scandal going on. to let you know that, oh, no, no, this isn't troubling me. He could have easily said, hey, look, I have nothing to do with this. He didn't.
Starting point is 01:43:59 So we don't know exactly where this is all coming from, but it's embarrassing the hell out of this kid. It's hilarious. Okay, your mom's plumber Jesus has gotten back. He wants to argue whether or not NFL ballparks are going to go all grass to avoid injuries, or a few of them will continue to have this fake grass. He says, I believe the NFL made $14 billion or something. something crazy.
Starting point is 01:44:23 Maybe he means last year. I don't know. They don't want to risk their stars going down. Grass is peanuts. Price-wise, he says. If you compare it to the $14 billion, grass isn't that expensive. So he's saying the NFL will do everything to protect their players.
Starting point is 01:44:45 The NFL has always prioritized money over player safety. I really don't think they care. They're kind of in the next man up. kind of mode. We'll see about that, your plumber, or whatever you're going to be. And the problem with these multi-use facilities, let's take here, for example. Right. Okay, you want to put grass in here? Okay, fine. How are you going to protect the grass when the home and garden show comes to town or when you have the NCAA?
Starting point is 01:45:10 Four-finger death punch concert or whatever. The NCAA. You're going to kill the grass and you've got nowhere to store it and keep it alive during November and December. That's just, that's the hard. And we all know this, right? It's easier and cheap. It's easier and cheap. to have the fake stuff. Yeah. Yeah. They do it in Las Vegas.
Starting point is 01:45:29 I mean, the Las Vegas facility does have a grass tray, and they bring it in and out of the facility for Raiders games, but they have a place to store it and keep it outside and keep it at a comfortable temperature and grow the grass when it's not inside. Yeah, so we'll see about this.
Starting point is 01:45:48 We'll probably all be dead by the time it happens if it does. I mean, if the data was different, if the injury data was different and it was conclusive that this was happening, I think that you definitely would see a change, but I don't think the data is just not conclusive enough. People think that that's causing it, and it may very well be, but the data is not something that's forcing the ownership to change what they're doing in their stadiums.
Starting point is 01:46:18 Like I said, it's a climate thing more than anything. I mean, if you have a climate like Las Vegas, for example, Well, you can do what they do, but you can't do that here. You can't have a grass tray and wheel it in and out of U.S. Bank Stadium in the middle of November. Also, there's logistic that there's no room for a grass tray. No. So there you go. They'll continue to watch players get mangled.
Starting point is 01:46:41 I'm content in believing that. So there you go. The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, huh? Did you ever have their poster up in your bedroom, Josh? No, never did. They still have a television show, don't they? Yeah, my wife watches that, and that's one of those ones where I'm passing through the living room. I'll stop and give it a couple of minutes.
Starting point is 01:47:00 That's still going on, huh? I believe so. I think my wife watches it, too. It's inside industry. Watch how the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders operate and how they get hired and how they go about their daily lives. Who makes the team who gets cut, all that kind of stuff. How about this? Seeing how we're creeping up on Real Deal football season,
Starting point is 01:47:21 someone posted the rules that the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders must follow. Now, this is only 10 of them. I understand the list is long. But you've probably heard these stories before that they kind of get put through the friggin' ringer. If you want this gig, they basically turn you into a cheerleading robot. So here's just 10 of the rules that the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders must follow. Boy, I remember when people don't really, you know, so much has changed,
Starting point is 01:47:49 but Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, I mean, that was a main attraction in the 70s and 80s. Okay, anyway, they can have no visible tattoos. Glitter, eye shadow is a no. Sorry, Josh. Which is a staple for Josh. It's actually bright today. I can see it for my studio. I love the blink.
Starting point is 01:48:14 You do. And you pull off well. They're still doing this routine. They're not allowed to date NFL players. Remember that that was one of the XFL. selling points was that Vince McMahon who's going to encourage the cheerleaders to date the players. This is the X-F-L. Can't believe that didn't pan out.
Starting point is 01:48:34 Didn't an Eagles player and a Cowboys cheerleader get engaged in the last year or two, though? I don't know. I thought I saw that somewhere. They can't date the NFL players. Silly. A lot of this is silly. You have to maintain your size. You only get one.
Starting point is 01:48:52 uniform. You don't grow it, you're screwed. Jesus, balls. Full hit. Imagine if they did that in real life. Right. Imagine if you go to work and that's the work and that you can't change it. Put on a little weight, you're gone.
Starting point is 01:49:14 Jesus. Or you stuff yourself into it. Yeah. Oh, yeah, this is it. Yeah, I don't care how badly you're pouring out of this pantsuit. Your guts just pouring over the top of your... Sorry, one work uniform, that's it. Starting to rip at the seams.
Starting point is 01:49:29 Oh, man. You have to be in full hair and makeup every day. You can't be anywhere alcohol is served or attend parties where alcohol is served. In an NFL game? Does this sound... Well, I guess aside from one... Does this sound...
Starting point is 01:49:47 I had a word and I lost it. And I still can't find it. I'll get it back. you can't ever miss a rehearsal. You must always refer to the coaches, ladies, as ma'am. Yes, ma'am, no ma'am. No, provocative photos on Instagram. And you have to avoid spray tans with orange tones.
Starting point is 01:50:15 Does it sound worth it? Doesn't sound worth it to me. No? Do they get paid? Yeah. Yes. I think now they do for the longest time they didn't. Right.
Starting point is 01:50:29 Okay. I'm going to let the Timberwold dancers get paid to a little bit. I always hear that dance teams and cheerleaders are pretty much paid jack squat. But I wonder if it's different for the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders because they are this. Well, they have so much other things outside of just the games that they do. So I just wonder if they get paid a little bit more for all the things that they do outside of the football. the football. But a lot of cheer teams and dance teams go to, they go to charity functions,
Starting point is 01:51:02 they go to schools and whatnot. But I'm wondering if the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, because of who they are, they're still looked at as the top, do they get rich? They get paid $75 bucks an hour for practices and promotional work. Oh, that's not bad. Up from a previous rate of $15 an hour. It used to be $15? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:23 When did that change? It doesn't matter. But, I mean, I doubt you can see. say that about the Timberwolves dancers, $75 an hour. I doubt, I bet you the cowboy gals get more than anybody else does. That's my bet. All right. We found out that the Timberwolves will retire Kevin Garnett's number 21 jersey at the end of February, February 28th,
Starting point is 01:51:44 following the Wolves game against the Boston Celtics. We got a date lined up. So it's happening after the game is over or before the game? I'm being told it's after the game is over. Wow. Okay. So there you go. Brad, is that unusual?
Starting point is 01:52:02 I think it's becoming more common to do it after games because, I mean, the fans will think, oh, they just want us to stay to the end. Well, no, I think it's partially because when they have a ceremony like that, and they're probably going to have former players come back and things like that. They just don't want to have to squeeze it into a 10-minute halftime or an 8-minute pre-game. You know, you can allow it to flow and go. Let it breathe, man. I like this.
Starting point is 01:52:29 Whether it's before or after the game, I like that they're not trying to squeeze it into 10 minutes per pizza. Yeah, yeah. I think so it's becoming a little bit more common that they do it after the. By the way, a few people have texted in when we were talking about the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and the rules that the girls have to follow day in, day out. And a few people use the same word, cult. There you.
Starting point is 01:52:48 They said it sounds like a cult. It sort of does. All right. Back to KG. Team ambassador, by the way, Kevin Gardner. net. You know, he's working for the team now, which means what, he goes to a few parties and tells some stories. I mean, not that I'm knocking it. I'm happy for him that that's what you're getting paid to do. Good for him. That's about it. I'm thinking. Yeah. I don't think he's
Starting point is 01:53:13 in the office at 9 a.m. every morning going through going on a spreadsheets and stuff. Well, let me ask you this, because we all kind of dreamed, I know, I did, that he would maybe make, he would be the type of guy who would make some decisions around there someday. Do you think he would want that responsibility? No. I think he's enjoying just doing podcasts and being Kevin Garnett. You don't think he'd ever want like a real job? No.
Starting point is 01:53:36 No. I think he'd be good at it. But I totally get why you wouldn't want that job. I think he'd be good in an advisor role, but I don't think he wants to be the one making those decisions. Obviously not. Obviously not. He would ever spent any time talking to him, like, you know that's not. No, that wouldn't be good.
Starting point is 01:53:56 I don't think. Are you saying because he comes off kind of crazy? Well, maybe a little bit. Yeah. So KG will be just the second player in franchise history to have his number retired, joining, of course, the sad, sad story of Malik Sealy. And they're going to have a lot of build-up to this Jersey retirement, which is, again, February 28th, I bet ticket prices are going to be colossal.
Starting point is 01:54:21 But anyway, all year long, they're going to have KG-themed nights to build up to this. And it sounds like right here, Josh, every KG theme night, they will be giving away a commemorative KG figurine. Hey, that's cool. You could use that in your man cave. That would be a nice addition? Yeah, you don't have many. I mean...
Starting point is 01:54:45 I don't have many what? You don't have many figurines in your man cave. I got too many. I told you already about the bobblehead dolls. He has tea parties with them. I'm down to maybe in my bar. I am down to maybe 10 or 12 bobbleheads, but I told you a week or two ago
Starting point is 01:55:00 that I used to decorate my home with them, and I'm totally embarrassed of that now. Every corner you're rounded in my place. Oh, look, a Michael Cadire bobblehead doll, an Al Jefferson bobblehead doll, next to a Dino Cicerelli bobblehead doll,
Starting point is 01:55:16 next to a golden, a goldy gopher. It was stupid. Hey, Carl got married. Oh, good for him. Yeah. Also, before we get too deep in, of this. I did look up ticket prices for section 221 row V.
Starting point is 01:55:30 You're looking at $353 to get in for KG's retirement game. That sounds reasonable. Yeah. That'll change, won't it? For now, yeah. Yeah, that'll change. It'll go up. Oh, yeah, Keystone Light Jesus
Starting point is 01:55:46 texted in. Yeah. He'd simply text it in. What up, Bace. That was the first thing KG said to me when he jumped off the bus and stepped foot right here in the Twin Cities. I said, hello, Kevin. My name is Nick.
Starting point is 01:56:05 And he said, what a base. I'll never forget that. Steph Marbury was aired due. He didn't want to talk to me. Carl Anthony Towns got married. Dumb bastard. Okay, what is this now? Oh, speaking of the Timbalow,
Starting point is 01:56:23 The rumor is that veteran NBA forward Jonathan Cominga is going to take a job here with the Timboeau. There are a few other clubs interested, so we'll see. But after moving Julius Randall and Nas Reid, the wolves could use a talented forward or two to come to work here. And that Kaminga dude can play. I think that would be massive if they were able to land Johnny Kaminga. But that's just me. That could be the liquor talking. I'm getting more and more bummed out every time.
Starting point is 01:56:59 time I see a video of Nas Reid in a Charlotte Hornets uniform. It's starting to bother me more and more. When the move originally happened, yeah, I was, I was pissed and I was, I was, but. It won't bother you when the bang bros go off. No, no, no, no, no. You know I love the bang bros. Damn, those dudes are cool. But every time I see Nas practicing with the Hornets, it's starting to piss me off.
Starting point is 01:57:28 So I'm, I'm stuck in limbo here. Love the bang bros. Love what I assume they're going to bring to the table, but man, Nas was such a pimp. Jonathan Kamenga, go ahead with that. The links are still. It looks like they're not the only team wanting to get their hands on him. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:57:50 Like I said, there's a few other teams interested. Yeah. So nothing's guaranteed Bradrider by damn. I saw, did I see over the weekend that Joelle and B. is lost for the year. Oh, God, no. With a knee injury? I did not see that.
Starting point is 01:58:08 I thought I saw that. That would be shocking. I thought I saw that, but maybe I, maybe it was. Sarcasm, of course, because you guys always heard. Yeah. Okay. No, I did not bump into that one. I thought Shams reported that he had torn an ACL or something in practice or something. Does he need to have James? Dayton Daniel's surgery in order to correct that?
Starting point is 01:58:33 Don't say that. Okay. Well, maybe I should look at that one. But maybe not. Maybe that was not seeing anything. I'm not seeing that. Okay, good. Well, then maybe that was some sort of a scam.
Starting point is 01:58:44 Yeah, it was a fake Shams account. Fake Shams account. Thank you. I see there's a couple different sports blogs that have put a poll up to get fans, whether or not they think he's going to be injured for the entire season. One's called, can Embede avoid injury? That is cold. Do they do that in Vegas,
Starting point is 01:59:06 an over, under, on the number of games players play? Hey, you would know that before any of the rest of us were. I don't think they can. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think they can. Is that too mean? Well, no, it's just, you could fix that easily.
Starting point is 01:59:19 You can manipulate that. You can manipulate that, you know, if you want to. But if you had that number, what would that number be for Joelle and B? Well, he played, I'm looking at it. He played 19 games two years ago. He played 38 games last year. Probably the over-underers around 30.
Starting point is 01:59:40 I'm going to guess, yeah, 30. That would be pretty cold if you could go gambling. So you placed a bet. You're watching a game at a bar or maybe at a sports book. Dude's leg breaks, just a compound fracture, bone stick. And you go, yeah, baby! Just getting DX crotch shops towards the core. Sunk it, man.
Starting point is 02:00:04 I hit the under. You're on easy street, yeah, because some dude's career just ended. Nick, do you want to give your answer to the possibilities for this poll here if I read you what you can choose from? Sure. So again, give me the whole smear. So it's, do you, or how long do you think Embed will last this season? Healthy all season, misses the playoffs, done before the All-Star break, season-ending injury and pre-season. Pick one of those. I want to see. I want to click on it so I can see what people are saying.
Starting point is 02:00:36 Well, here's the thing. If you watch Joel Embed, he barely ever exerts himself at all. He's kind of like watching Yokets from Denver. Just kind of trudges up and down the floor. Of course, lots and lots of free throws. And I've yet to experience, I've yet to witness one player hurting himself at the free throw line. So his gig isn't terribly physically demanding. he still finds a way to get himself hurt. But since his gig isn't terribly physically demanding, I'm going to say he'll miss the playoffs. I'm going to say he'll be in and out, in and out kind of a thing all year long
Starting point is 02:01:14 like he normally does and he'll miss the playoffs. That's where I would put my money. Yeah, it looks like that's leading. Miss the playoffs. Yeah, he just kind of wanders up and down. Oh, do I have the basketball? Oh, God, am I going to the free throw line? That's basically the entire night for Joel and me.
Starting point is 02:01:29 beat. Just kind of drags him his ass up and down. Goes to the free throw line. The Lynx are still whooping everybody, and they, Mama. They defeated the Las Vegas Aces on Saturday night. That makes him 29 and 7 on the season. So Wednesday night, the Lynx will be playing the Golden State. Valkyries.
Starting point is 02:01:50 Ooh, Valkyry, one of my favorite movies. Look them in the eye. They'll remember you. Tom Cruise, huh? Valky? Anybody? everybody? Yeah, I liked it. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:02:02 I love that movie. Long live, sacred Germany! And then they shoot him and he's dead. How many games do the links have left? They must be giving close to the playoff time, aren't they? Usually go until about the middle of early part of September. So they probably got to...
Starting point is 02:02:19 They go to September 24th this year. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Oh, back to Nas Reid. A listener wants to know. Electrical contractor, Jesus, wants to know. Did I get a Nas Reid tattoo?
Starting point is 02:02:29 No, but I got a... Sebastian Telfer tattoo and that's been troubling me from day one and I can't I want to have it removed Josh
Starting point is 02:02:44 have you see my Sebastian Telfer tattoo It's in a provocative spot It is Yes Actually maybe I should have come up with a different guy Didn't he get in big trouble for something I was just trying to think of a non-descript Timberwolves player
Starting point is 02:02:57 Did Sebastian Telfer get in trouble for something Now I feel terrible bringing him up. Maybe I'm wrong about that. I can't remember. Someone helped me out with that. I'm looking. A legal issue. No. Okay. He didn't get in trouble? Okay, good. Could have gone with Shane Heel instead. Shane Heel? Australian. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:03:17 All right, before we go, Jesus, this video, I'd like a lot of our listeners to come around and get a look at this video if they can, especially you, you know, real blue collar working stiffs. You maintenance guys. You guys that are in charge of hanging windows and putting up walls and fixing ceilings and this and that. Here's a video that's been going round and round like they do. The boys on the maintenance crew at a place called O'Fallon Township High School in Illinois. The boys on the maintenance crew were trying to hang a brand new jumbo tron from the ceiling. And it came down onto the basketball court. Oh no. And it just broke into a billion pieces.
Starting point is 02:04:02 Oh, my God. The audio is pretty good, but especially the guy at the very end. Listen for the guy at the end. They're raising her up. This video sucks. But it's so much fun to watch. That must have been so expensive. Here they are.
Starting point is 02:04:30 Little town in Illinois. Found they got something nice. They got a brand new Jumbotron. I'm going to put it up above center court. and there they were with the cables and whatnot. They're raising her up. We've got a few jabronies up on ladders kind of trying to...
Starting point is 02:04:48 She comes right down onto the court. One of the cables just broke. My question is, why are they doing it? Why didn't the Jumbotron Company put that up? Oh, my God. Oh, that could have been the Jumbotron Company. There's a bunch of guys there. Brad, I thought it was just a regular crew,
Starting point is 02:05:06 which I'm sure they're all qualified for such things. But it could have been a specialized crew. Yes, Jeff. Obviously, Nick, there's a lot going on in that video. But did you notice the guy with his back to the camera? He's closer to the camera? He has no reaction. He never moved.
Starting point is 02:05:22 I wonder if he was telling him that's going to snap. Why was his reaction? There's one dude with a bigot, fat ass on him, and he's not far from the scene of the crime, got his hands in his pockets. The whole Jumbotron comes down, hits the floor, breaks into a million. This guy never flinched.
Starting point is 02:05:37 Yeah. He just was not impressed. You're right, Josh. Maybe it was one of those like, I told you so type of scenarios. I was trying to either that he's the chillest guy around. He did not react. I want to hear the guy at the end. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:05:49 Oh, no. Here come. Oh, my day just got a lot longer or worse. God, dang it. That sucks. We've had such a great time on this program over the years. When we've asked our listeners, like, what's the biggest. up you've ever had on the job and what did it cost
Starting point is 02:06:16 to company? I mean, we don't need to get into it again. But some of the answers were... Millions. Incredible. A couple people, millions and damage. I mean, if you think you're kind of a stumbling jabroney at your workplace, I'll tell you, the truth is, you're all right.
Starting point is 02:06:32 And how well liked are you? I mean, these guys that had told us that they kept their jobs. They must be very well liked. Tipping over bulldozers and bringing one whole side of a house down on accident and you a computer glitched
Starting point is 02:06:48 you hit the wrong button and you cost a company $18 million. It's just terrible. Some of you have Fed up and you know what? That's okay. Everybody Fs up. Everybody does. Oh man.
Starting point is 02:07:00 Makes me feel better. Like last week we were talking about what have you had fly out the back of your pickup or come off the trailer? That was something we asked or lost a whole car. My boat fell right off the trailer and smashed into a campground full of children. A buddy of mine, he installs fire suppression systems
Starting point is 02:07:20 like at restaurants and stuff like that. You know, sprinklers that kick chemicals out. And on his first week on the job, he busted one of those and didn't know how to turn off the supply. And it flooded this restaurant. First week on the job. Full of water and chemicals and God knows what? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:07:37 And so he asked, like, hey, is this something that kind of everybody does? You just got to get it over with. And like, no. No, you're the first guy that's done it. No, no, no. He kept his gig, though. 93x.com, if you want to see the video of that terrible incident up at the high school in Illinois where they dropped the Jumbotron.
Starting point is 02:07:54 And so, of course, the Jumbotron itself, they're out, however many thousands of dollars, that cost him. And the gym floor is mangled. I'm sure. Oh, man. The basketball team's going to have to practice in a church parking lot or something for a few weeks. Oh, no. Sucks. That's amazing.
Starting point is 02:08:10 You ever F up at work, Randy Shaver, Brad, Brad, What'd you do? Nothing like that. No. With the golf cart count? Because there's a camera in there. Yeah, but I paid for that myself. Did you really?
Starting point is 02:08:22 Didn't you say that was insane, expensive? It cost me about $1,000 to replace the computer system. There you go. Well, all right, boys. You guys have a nice Monday. We'll talk to you soon. We appreciate every damn thing. You bet.
Starting point is 02:08:39 All right. Listen, Brad, told a joke. Goodbye, Brad. Bye. See you later. Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off.
Starting point is 02:08:52 That's why I trust Standard Heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time. Get $75 off your first service or tune-up. And while you're added, mention 93X. Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help.
Starting point is 02:09:20 Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-L-K-E-L-K-E-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-L-L-K-E-L-L-L-E-L-L-L-E-L-L-L-E. Mike Drop, hosted by former Navy SEAL Mike Ridland. How would you characterize your prowess?
Starting point is 02:09:48 I'd say my style is that I just kind of outwork everybody until I get there. Because I'm not a quitter. It's just you. And that's yourself. There's everything else's team-oriented. The motivation, it was a sort of anger at myself for being weak. That ends up being the driving factor. That anger, that pride, that ego, I think it's a muscle.
Starting point is 02:10:04 It gets stronger. When you take that voice seriously, you start to change your life. Mike Drop, follow and listen on your favorite platform. F S morning show 93X Well so far we've been hanging in there It'd be a damn shame if we wet the bed now It's the Monday show
Starting point is 02:10:20 And we dig you for hanging the F out with us this morning Let's go back to the 80s Josh It's my favorite time Well it was the finest decade there ever was Best music, the best movies The best everything The 80s totally ruled Every other decade blows
Starting point is 02:10:35 By comparison And it really does Here are some radical things Radical I squeezed that in to fit the vibe. Here are some radical things that the 80s created for us. Only, these different things didn't really stand the test of time.
Starting point is 02:10:52 They came and went on us. For the most part, let's see if Josh and I have any direct experience with any of these fads, I guess you could call them from the 1980s, that lived and then quickly died. Things like parachute pants. Never had a pair. No. Thought they were cool. Oh, you did?
Starting point is 02:11:17 Yeah. I mean, just because of MC Hammer. If you had access to them, would you have gotten a pair and worn them to school? I guess you had uniforms, but you know what I mean? Probably not. Yeah. I mean, I just kind of thought, oh, you know, I thought MC Hammer was cool. Gotcha.
Starting point is 02:11:29 Oh, Jesus. I just thought they were the silliest damn thing. Especially that the fact that there were zippers everywhere. Multiple. I don't even know how many zippers they would sew. into your average pair of parachute pants in the late 80s. It was just horrible. Ah, but the members-only jacket.
Starting point is 02:11:51 I don't even really know what that is. I've heard the term so many times. I couldn't pick one out from like any other jacket. Oh, my dad had a members-only jacket, one of my best pals. His old man had a member-only jacket that he wore until the day that he died. He loved his members-only jacket. We busted his balls upside down over it. Is that a brand?
Starting point is 02:12:09 Yes. Members-only was the brand. It really wasn't anything. terribly flashy. Sounds fancy. No, it didn't stand out in a crowd by any stretch of the imagination. And I don't really know why it has taken the beating that it
Starting point is 02:12:25 has in the years since the 80s. Why? I don't know exactly why. What is the membership process? A member's only jacket became such a punchline, but it did. What's the process? What's the process to become a member? Do you just buy one and you're in?
Starting point is 02:12:40 I think all you've got to do is go ahead and give them some money. The members It's only jacket. It says here if you had one, you were cool, and then suddenly you weren't. I was looking at Google. It looks like a little bit of a revival because of the show Stranger Things that takes place in the 80s. And some of the kids wore those members-only jackets, and it got people interested in them again. Okay, it says here, Tony Soprano didn't have fond memories of the members-only jacket.
Starting point is 02:13:06 Never saw it. Never saw the soprano, so I don't know the joke. Yeah, he killed a guy. While wearing his... The other guy was wearing a member-only jacket. The guy who killed Tony Soprano was... No, Tony Soprano killed a guy who was wearing a member-only jacket.
Starting point is 02:13:19 And they make reference to that? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, again, I don't know why it's taken the beating that it has, the people that members only. But, yeah, I know a couple of guys who wore them far beyond the 80s, and they were fine with that. They looked kind of preppy.
Starting point is 02:13:37 Was it preppy kids that wore them? I only remember old guys wearing them. Is that right? Yeah, so I don't, yeah, I didn't. Before the tech. come flooding. I was way off on that. Still, there was a guy in the final scene of the Sopranos and the finale
Starting point is 02:13:49 where it just kind of ends, nobody knows what happens, and there's a mysterious guy who walks by the booth that Tony's sitting in with his family and he's wearing a member's only jacket. Fair enough. Leg warmers. Oh yeah. Thanks to the movie Flash Dance, people wore them even when they weren't
Starting point is 02:14:05 exercising, sure. I remember in my grade school, girls would wear their leg warmers. Yep. I didn't I didn't realize how much of this was fashion-related. Okay, not, okay, I think we're, a lot of this is fashion-related. I didn't realize it until just now, because next up on the list of 80s fads that came and went, faster than you could say Jack Robinson, jelly shoes, yes.
Starting point is 02:14:31 Oh, yeah, all the girls had those. Again, the gals at my school wear these plastic sandals that look like jelly. The acid-wash jeans. I had a pair of those. I'm trying to picture what they looked like. Like whitewashed was another term people used for them. It says the brighter and more faded the better. Okay.
Starting point is 02:14:55 I mean, I certainly bleached my jeans. Yeah, we made our own. Yeah. But I never knew really what it meant to be wearing acid wash. I think that's the same thing. Maybe I'm mistaken. Okay. You bleach them up a little bit?
Starting point is 02:15:06 Okay, well, then I wore them, because I bleached them. A lot of people texting on Zubas. Yeah, I wanted Zubas. Oh, those are cool. Wrestlers had them. Like, a lot of football players would wear them. I just thought they were just awful. It's awful to look at.
Starting point is 02:15:19 Even though, you know, even though the road warriors wore them and everything, yeah, like you said, wrestlers and football players, I thought they were just the silliest thing. You look like a giant toddler. Well, you know, the pajama pants of today that it was just bigger. They were. Neon everything in the 80s, sure. Colors were louder and brighter back then.
Starting point is 02:15:40 That was the whole thing. Shirt, socks. Sunglasses, sure. I remember the bright pink, bright green sunglasses. Cabbage Patch Kids. So again, the idea is that these fads all came and went pretty quickly. Yeah. Cabbage Patch Kids. I love those videos from the 80s of parents just assaulting each other in the store trying to get a cabbage patch doll.
Starting point is 02:16:09 My sister had a couple. Man, she was lucky. The legit ones. Yeah. The legit. My uncles. Anytime they came over, they had a gift for her. And only her.
Starting point is 02:16:18 Parents would fight each other in the streets for the cabbage patch doll. People are texting in swatch watches. Yeah, I remember those being super popular. Also, the I am loved buttons. Were those popular at your school, Nick? Not really. Those were big. Gene jackets with buttons certainly had their moment.
Starting point is 02:16:38 Gene jackets with buttons had their moment. I don't remember the I am loved button being featured. That was big at our school at least. Okay. But certainly there were a lot of kids who wore a jean jacket. lot of kids who put their favorite band button on. I had a kiss button with the needle on the back, you know, kind of a thing. Trucker Timmy Jesus said he missed a starter jackets.
Starting point is 02:17:01 I remember that more as a 90s? That's a 90s thing. Yeah, so that wasn't 80s? Nope. I remember it as a 90s. Nope, that was straight up 90s. That was all my wheelhouse growing up. Break dancing.
Starting point is 02:17:11 Oh, yeah, we were into that. Did you ever spin on your head, Josh? No. Never on purpose. came and went in the 80s, certainly, but it's had a hell of a revival in the last 20 years. Well, it's in the Olympics now. There you go.
Starting point is 02:17:25 So let's say that breakdancing somehow survived. Can we go ahead and say that break dancing survived the 80s? It's made a return. It made a return. Oh, yeah, that was a big deal at my junior high. Specifically seventh grade. You know, because break dancing and the break in movies, breaking was the original,
Starting point is 02:17:46 and then there was break into electric boogaloo. Yep, loved them. They actually made a lot of money, even though they were horrible, horrible movies. They were bad, but when I was a kid, I loved them. Horrible acting, horrible music. Boom boxes. Specifically, my seventh grade year,
Starting point is 02:17:59 break dancing was at its absolute peak. And we would finish our lunch as quickly as possible to run out to this little activities area outside the school because every day there would be a break dancing competition. This lasted about two months, and then after that, it was the least interesting thing in the whole world. Like, that's how quickly breakdancing came and went. It was pretty dangerous for us because we wanted to make sure the whole neighborhood saw us breakdance and think we're really cool. And I lived on a busy street growing up, a very busy street, actually.
Starting point is 02:18:36 And we would do it right up against the curb. And none of us were really good. We easily could have fell and got run over by a garbage truck or something. I've seen you try to dance, dude. You're lucky you didn't fall into traffic. and get killed instantly. So, yeah, it was real quick. There was a kid named Steve and a kid name, what was his name?
Starting point is 02:18:51 I can't think of his first name. Donnie? I'll go with Donnie. They were the two top break dancers at our junior high. We would rush out, watch them battle, and then go back to class. But like I said, after about two months, if you even said breakdancing battle, people would go, shh, nerd. That's how quickly it came and went.
Starting point is 02:19:08 This is a really good one. Trapper keepers. I was always jealous of the kids that would get trapper keepers. Like the cool notebooks that had things, you know, like an athlete on it or something. Yeah, awesome. Well, if you got like your straight up Wayne Gretzky folder or your straight up Joe Montana folder, like with the player's image on the front, that was pretty hip. Okay, these things came and went in the 80s.
Starting point is 02:19:30 Next up would be home aerobics videos like from Jane Fonda or Richard Simmons or Suzanne. Well, maybe Suzanne Summers didn't come until later. But in the 80s, it was Jane Fonda and Richard Simmons had their television shows. They were huge. exercising and you would exercise along with them. The 3D movies with the paper glasses that they'd hand you a pair when you walked into the theater. Never saw one of those. Well, I mean, I guess not in the 80s, but I saw Avatar, the first one in three.
Starting point is 02:20:01 When they give you like the actual glasses, you got to drop them off as you walk out the door. Yeah, that's the one. Well, yeah. I went and saw one movie in 3D in the 80s. Of course, that's like a 50s thing, really. But then it had a second go at it in the 80s. Yeah, there was a Jaws. There was a Friday to 13th.
Starting point is 02:20:23 Jaws 3D. I only went to watch one legit 3D movie in a theater. And it was called Treasure of the Four Crowns. You can go ahead and look it up. I want to say that was like 82 or 83. And we were all handed the 3D glasses as we walked in. And I will say this. It was a riotous crowd.
Starting point is 02:20:43 Like the crowd was thirsty for 3D3. action. It was just loud. People were screaming and yelling in anticipation of seeing the movie. I was just a little kid, but, well, I mean, I maybe I shouldn't call myself a little kid. I was 12 or 13. But I remember it being just garbage. Not only the quality of the movie, but the quality of the 3D experience. So I've never really taken a further interest in 3D movies, maybe because I just, I thought it was lame as hell when I was sitting there in the theater that night. The movie does look pretty dumb, just, you know, on some screenshots of it. Treasure of the Four Crowns. I've never heard of that one.
Starting point is 02:21:16 And, of course, you know, a guy's walking around the movie with a fishing pole or something. And the fishing, it comes right up to the... I'm looking at the Wikipedia page or Treasure of the Four Crowns. And under the reception part where they talk about what people thought of the movie, it's usually like, well, this critic had this to say, and this person had this to say. All it says is the film was a box office disappointment. Well, they had a full theater that night.
Starting point is 02:21:41 They had a full crowd at Cooper Theater in 1982, I'll tell you that. Okay, a new Coca-Cola. Came and went in a matter of months, it felt like to me, Josh, right? Everybody was just touching themselves over new Coca-Cola. There were television advertisements for months leading up to it. And, of course, we all did pounce on it and try it. I didn't see anything wrong with it. But society as a whole said, well, this is just goat piss.
Starting point is 02:22:12 That's usually pointed to as one of the biggest business flops of all times. It was. It was. I thought it was fine, but I wasn't too terribly tortured over new Coke versus old Coke. You're not one of those people where if you say, yeah, I'll have a Coke and they say, oh, how about a Pepsi? Oh, God. No, no, absolutely not. I couldn't care one way or the other.
Starting point is 02:22:32 A mediocre machinist Jesus said he, the Avatar movie made him barf. Oh, I can see that. With how the 3D was. Yeah. Especially if you see it in the I max at the zoo where I saw it, like the theater was just the screen. overwhelming. So this guy was a grown man. He barfed in the theater watching. Yeah, it was great, man. I mean, the 3D was so impressive.
Starting point is 02:22:53 Now, one more, then we've got to take a break, talking about fads in the 80s, that upped and lived, and then upped and died. So far, I think we would say that breakdancing is the only one that, well, no, we should say 3D movies still come and go. They do. Yes, the California Raisins. Oh, those were awesome. The claymation raisins that did ads on television, trying to sell, of course, California raisins.
Starting point is 02:23:25 But they sang and they danced and they were a hell of a thing. I think maybe they even had a single that charted. I mean, that's how goofy things could be. The 80s, the 1980s were glorious. It was the best decade ever. A few fads, a few trends came and went quickly in the 80s. We've been jaw-jacking about that. We left off with Max Headroom.
Starting point is 02:23:51 We left off with Max Headroom. What did he advertise? I've always wondered that. Was it a soda? I thought it was like Pepsi, maybe? Yeah. He would show up on our televisions in the 80s. He was this glitchy computer-generated TV personality.
Starting point is 02:24:09 He was everywhere for a stretch of time, but I don't recall what he would push on us. I just remember from back to the future, too. That was my only real experience with Max Headroom. Never saw it. When I found out that that was like a separate thing and not just created for the movie, I was kind of taken back.
Starting point is 02:24:24 I saw you looking it up, Josh. What was Max Headroom trying to convince us to buy? Okay. Take your time. All they go on and on here about Miami Vice, the television show, created some fashion trends, rolled up suit sleeves, loafers without socks, pastel suits,
Starting point is 02:24:45 Sure, Don Johnson and his partner there on Miami Vice. They had the grown folks trying to dress like them. I was little, we didn't really make that to push in eighth grade to try to dress like grown men on Miami Vice, but I know what they're referring to here. Car phones, of course, car phones came and went. I had a friend whose dad had one. Yeah. And it was, I thought it was like the peak of technology.
Starting point is 02:25:13 It was the size of a house, I remember. He took up the entire center console. But when cell phones came around, they weren't necessary anymore, were there? It was gigantic. Yeah. I remember one of my pals' dads' dads had a car phone. And when he picked it up, it took all of his upper body strength to answer the car phone. Like holding a cinder block up to your head?
Starting point is 02:25:35 Yep. Josh mentioned boom boxes earlier. I never had a proper boom box, but I certainly liked hanging out with dudes who did. I never had the proper really cool, really. loud boombox that you would walk around your neighborhood with so everyone in town knew what music you like to listen to. All right. So here's Max Hedroom.
Starting point is 02:25:55 He was hired for New Coke. Okay. And we covered that already. New Coke came and went quickly in the 80s. I watched his show and kind of a bunch of stuff he did. Oh, that's right. He had a television show. I forgot he did advertising, actually, because that's what I was thinking of the show.
Starting point is 02:26:09 But you're right. Yeah, he did those commercials. I never caught his television show. But I remember specifically, Josh, in the summer. of 84, walking down to Wysetta Beach on a summer day with the gals in their bikinis and whatnot, and me and my bros wanted to look cool. One of us brought a boom box, and it was a massive sum bitch, and we cranked as loud as we could the Scorpions record from that year.
Starting point is 02:26:36 Love at first sting, Josh. We cranked that as loud as we could, so everyone at Wizzata Beach knew that we were back in the Scorpion's new record. Yeah, that was, I mean, you had to have a boombox. Somebody in your crew had to have one. Rock, you like a hurricane, still loving you, a big city nights. Yeah, you had to have one guy in your friend group that had a killer boombox. It was never me, though. Yeah, we didn't have one.
Starting point is 02:27:02 Answering machines with, well, specifically with novelty messages. We never had an answering machine, but I guess that does sound very 80s to me. Slap bracelets. I'm not sure what that. is. I don't recall the slap bracelet movement. I think a ban from schools. They did? Yeah, at least for me when I was growing up.
Starting point is 02:27:21 Not at ours. I don't recall that. The guy who came up with that, I was listening to this podcast many, many years ago, and he got screwed over so badly. Oh, no. Barely made a dime from it, and those made so much money. Oh, they were everywhere. How did he get screwed?
Starting point is 02:27:35 It was a bad business deal. So whoever he ended up going into business with got all the cash, and he got next to nothing. Probably one of those deals where they say we'll give you $5,000 for the ideal with no potential future earnings on the thing. He missed out so much. Our listeners have texted in with some other entries into this conversation on 80s fads, 80s trends that came and went before the decade was over. And they mentioned things like garbage pale kids. Those were great. Their trading cards and they even had a movie apparently.
Starting point is 02:28:07 One listener is asking, was it the 80s where sodas went clear? Clear, Pepsy. Yeah, maybe. Pound puppies. Spuds McKenzie. Spuds McKenzie. Here's a listener who says the 80s male action star
Starting point is 02:28:31 was created in the 80s. Yeah, it continued on. There's still marquee male action stars, right? Some of them got their start in the 80s. Tom Cruise, Sylvester Stallone, Yeah, there's still a lot, but that's where they were. Yeah. I mean, you kind of had to have that, right?
Starting point is 02:28:50 Yeah. Walkmans. Well, yeah, the Walkman technically kind of came and went in the 80s, but I would say more than anything, the Walkman just evolved. Yeah, technology advanced on that one. Arcades, yeah, they were a different scene in the 80s, but arcades survived. There's still arcades and whatnot around town where you can go and God knows what you do there now, but Santa Bears.
Starting point is 02:29:14 Those were huge. Here are now apparently some fads, some trends that survived the test of time. Nintendo, absolutely, of course. They continue to rake in billions of dollars with their cute little video games, Air Jordan tennis shoes. Oh, man. It's crazy how popular they still are today and how much people fork over for a pair. Yeah, not cheap.
Starting point is 02:29:41 Scrunchies. Is that something you put in your hair do? Yeah, those are still around. Oh, they are? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. We've moved on to items that survived the 80s. Rayban sunglasses, speaking to Tom Cruise.
Starting point is 02:29:55 Didn't he make those famous in the movie? Don't Tell Me the Name. It's called, again, Risky Business. Yep. Dungeons and Dragons. Still the thing, apparently. Oh, yeah, I'd imagine that's Stranger Things again, right? Right.
Starting point is 02:30:07 I mean, I don't think it's ever gone away, but I'm sure that was a big boost. It's maintained, yeah, it's maintained the core of fan base, but I think Stranger Things help kind of juice it a little bit. I think I'm sure I've told you before that I was gifted Dungeons and Dragons, the game, the book, whatever it was. And you'll understand why in a minute, why I still don't have any idea what it really was. But I think I was a seventh grader and eighth grade kid and somewhat Christmas or a birthday, a relative gifted me Dungeons and Dragons. And that was when it first really took off. And I remember opening up the book and reading about two paragraphs and I closed the book and I never acknowledged its existence ever again.
Starting point is 02:30:40 Obviously, I didn't know he was a seventh grader, but I had the relative that gifted it to you ever met. you. Yeah, it was a shot in the dark, I guess. Sure. You picked them up, you dropped them, Jesus. This is a good one, micro machines. And those commercials were so cool with the auctioneer. I know you've always been a fan of that guy. I loved those commercials. He could talk so fast. Micro machines I thought were so cool. Part your hair for you. They say here that music videos have survived the test at times. Have they? I haven't seen a music video.
Starting point is 02:31:10 I rarely ever see it. They still make them, but they're just not showing on them to YouTube. YouTube. Oh, oh, really? I mean, I've seen some, but like the major artists still make them? If they do, I don't think they put the production value into them as they used to back in the day. Little Brother Trucker has texted in to say that a hairy bush is an 80s fad. I heard that's back. It's back. You guys watch the movies. I mean, I heard that's not back.
Starting point is 02:31:34 Oh, it's not. They always claim it's coming back. It never has come back. Oh, a buddy of mine lied to me. He said, no, it's coming back. Oh, every week someone else, you know, no, it's not. It's never going to be. and someone else texted in about the Rubik's Cube. That survived, the Rubik's Cube. Yeah. I watched a documentary about the guys that are the people,
Starting point is 02:31:52 men and women, they do it like for speed, like in competitions. Right. And it's just crazy how fast they can fix one of those. Do you ever see the young guy that juggled two Rubik's cubes, or maybe he was even three? Yeah. And they're doing like blindfolded underwater sitting upside down. It's crazy.
Starting point is 02:32:07 I never had a chance. My oldest he can do it. I've never been able to do it. When I was a kid, I peeled the stickers. I never had a chance. I got a lot of trouble for that. Oh. There you eff and go. Let's pull the plug, son. 93x.
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