93X Half-Assed Morning Show - The Incident

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

Originally Aired December 15, 2025: Dr. P answers health questions. Steak, weed, and crab legs. Everything you wanna know about accidentally stealing a baby. Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer and I think you should too. An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choke slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day.

We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. The comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93X half-ass morning show. Ninety-nine. Unbelievable. It's a wonderful, unbelievable feeling to be broadcasting live this morning on the 93X-half-ass morning show. Welcome.

Everyone. Welcome and thank you very much by damn. She was a busy weekend. She was a busy. Starting with last Friday morning at our annual toys for Tata's toy drive. at Rick's Cabaret Gentlemen's Club, where everything was going so well until the incident.

Before we talk about the incident, words cannot express our gratitude to all he is. You came out in the bitter cold to donate toys to the cause. We were lucky enough to have a huge crowd show up for the event. I don't even know how many events. land loads, the toys you people piled up, but it was a hell of a take. It was before noon, four van loads that went back to the station.

And I talked to the promotions department. They said that was the biggest hall they've had in years. So as a matter of fact, they added an extra charity. Five? It was five charities now. Five now. Benefited from the good folks that showed up. We couldn't.

I mean, in some of the toys, it was funny, there was a woman there, one of the swingers. Oh, no, I shouldn't call her a swinger. One of the women that were promoting the nude, all-nude camp, you know, adults, of course. The nudist camp. Yeah. So she was there and she was kind of pointing to some of these toys, talking about their significance. Like, have you heard of Miss Rachel? No.

Yeah. You have, Ashley? Yeah, yep. Kids are obsessed with her. That's what she was telling me. And so some other women, like, with kids, knew exactly who it was. And she's like, oh, my gosh, there's some Miss Rachel toys in here. So if you brought a Miss Rachel.

Rachel Toy, just know it was very popular. And they were talking about how she's a godsend to little kids. Whoever this Miss Rachel is. I'll have to look up Miss Rachel. I'd like to look up this nudist camp as well when I get a chance. Yeah, I remember meeting those people. They said they had come all the way from Wisconsin. They all live at a nudist camp.

And they donated thousands of dollars, by the way. That's right. Thousands of dollars. Yeah, they brought one of those big checks. Yeah. Like a publisher's clearinghouse check? All right. I thought I saw a big check.

There was a big check. And there was a big amount on that. What was that? It was like around 3,000 box they brought. Holy cow. That was the folks from the nudist camp. Anyway, they were very friendly. That's above and beyond anything we would ever expect.

My damn, they brought thousands of dollars to donate to the cause. So, I mean, and now five charities are benefiting from this event. What did you just say, Josh? Our promotions department said this was the biggest take. years. And I could tell, I mean, I was loading a bunch of stuff up. Yeah, I know. With the Promotions Department. You know, one of the promotions people is like 70-some years old. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. Everybody knows why you went to the front. You went to the front after the incident.

I did go after the incident. You're right. I needed a break. I don't want to hear this. The Promotions Department guy was going to have a heart attack. Everybody knows why you went to the front of the club. Well, that's a different. I went to the front of the club, but then I stayed for that reason. It has to do with the incident. There was an incident. At any rate, you've made it possible, you folks, whether you came from a nudist camp in Wisconsin or not, you made it possible for a lot of people in need, young people in need, to get something nice for Christmas. So, I mean, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

If you weren't able to donate, but you'd like to, and I know we've been getting tax saying, hey, how can I help out if I'm not able to go? they're working on making a way to do that this week. So we'll find out after the show today, if that's for sure going to happen. But hopefully if you're interested and have the time, you can maybe drop off some toys here at the station, and then we can get those to those chairs. Very cool, Cubby. So the giving can continue.

But as we've been discussing, there was an incident. And one member of our program has come away from last Friday's toy trade. Drive. How do you say it, Toy Drive? One member of our show has come away from the event with a mild case of post-traumatic stress disorder, and that's my guy, Cubby. Do you have any memory of the attack? Is this something that you're able to talk about? Yeah, I can talk about. I had some time to process the assault, which took place on Friday. I feel horrible because I was on the front lines of this, and I did nothing. Well, what are you going to do? Oh, I could have, I could have tried to put a stop to it. Well, there was no stopping what happened. I tried to put a stop to it. I feel guilty

because I was right there and I did nothing to help my friend. I feel guilty for being in the same room and not helping him. You were infuriated. You were totally unaware of it. You were up front at the club. I should have known. I should have been able to sense it. Like, oh, something's wrong with Josh. Normally, you're able to. You felt it in the force? You have some kind of ESP or something? Yeah. We're connected. Tell everyone what happened, Josh, because it was terrible. Well, I was sitting there just trying to eat, you know, and I'm gross when I eat. And I was talking to a gentleman.

We're having a nice conversation, and one of the beautiful ladies of Ricks comes over and starts dancing for Dana. Mm-hmm. He sits on his lap, starts to dance, and then I hear all these people, including the original ass man, Jesus, who was wearing that checklist of things to do when my mom was crossed off the list. That shirt, yep. Yep. And this Gropes, Dr. P. Sheezus is behind all this, right? She's great. A lot of fun. And so Dana's, and I'm thinking, ha-ha, I'm glad I'm not that sucker, right? I'd be so uncomfortable. And everyone starts screaming, no, no, no, no, this guy, this guy pointing at me.

And I said, no, no, no, she's good. Over there, that's great. I'll just eat here. You can do her thing. So then she comes over and... Are you sure you want to talk about it? She, uh... Would you want me to take it from here? I'll just set it up and then you can tell the rest. She put her boobs in my... She put her boobs in my face.

Yeah, she did. Sure did. A lot. Right. And then she wiggled to and fro. I think there's a word for it. Yeah, she forced a motorboat on me. I motorboated a lady.

Yeah. Are you okay? I mean, were you able to sleep Friday night? Yeah. I know you. I was very uncomfortable. After this attack, you looked absolutely horrified. You looked as if you were going to be the new guy

and you were going to have to go off into the corner and puke your guts out. This is what Josh says out loud after the attack, the motorboating attack. He said, well, I didn't expect to cheat on my wife this morning. But here we are, he said. Those were, my face was in the first. pair of boobs. How would I describe this? The only pair of boobs since my wife's in 20 years. Yeah. Like I had never had that. Weren't they nice? It was kind of nice to mix it up, wasn't it?

I didn't enjoy it. I'll tell you that much. Oh, you enjoy it. I really didn't. No, I know you didn't. I was telling people afterwards, you know, we're joking around. I don't feel I was assaulted. We're joking around, but it was uncomfortable. Any other guy on Planet Earth would have enjoyed it. Yeah, I enjoyed that. I got a little free preview of what Josh was about to get. Just because we were both wearing hats and they said, you know, the people that paid for said, no, the other guy with the hat on. Yeah, they said, she said the dancer said, hey, you know, they told me the guy with the stocking hat on and you would a Santa hat on. So, of course, she thought that. I just had a regular winter cap on.

But I did tell a couple people, I was like, you know, my teenage self would kill me right now. It knew what I've become. The type of guy that was just revolted by having strippers. boobs in his face. I just was, and I was getting made fun fun of too because she gave you a pretty good beating. Oh, a few times, yeah. She wouldn't stop. And so I, and people were kind of

joking around about how uncomfortable they could tell. And that's why they did it, by the way. They knew. They knew, like one guy made me sunglasses. They're hilarious on a 3D printer. And then there was a slit in them where I only could see a dancer's face. Like, just to make me more comfortable.

It wouldn't let me see anything below her face. Oh, like those glasses you used to wear in basketball where you couldn't look down so you learn how to dribble without looking at the ball. Oh, I hadn't heard of those. Yeah. So that's kind of like he made those. This guy's very talented. He made all of us some 3D stuff. And they handed the dude handed these to you at the bar. Yeah, so I could put those on. Glasses made to only see the stripper's face and not her body. Correct. I did not see those glasses. I can't even fathom something like that. Yeah, very creative on his part. It was, it was difficult to watch. It was uncomfortable to watch.

And that, you know, gave everybody a laugh. But it was funny because I realized afterwards, I must have looked even more ridiculous because, you know, like, let's say you're watching the Vikings and it gets real chippy at the end of a play. And there's always one guy that's just putting his arms straight up. Like, I have nothing to do with this. Look, ref, I'm not doing anything. That's exactly what I did about five times.

Yeah, you did. Like I'm saying, touchdown, I've got my arms up in the air. And it was. Your facial expression was one of. true horror. You did keep your hands far away from the girl, straight up in the air. It was a heartless attack. So once she put her boobs in my face and I was kind of confused and then when it got clear that she was going for Josh, I go, okay, that makes much more sense, you know, because they were doing it to make you uncomfortable. And then I was sitting at that table with you,

Josh. And as soon as she put her boobs in your face, I just got up and walked away. And it went stood next to Nick and we were watching it happen and I said Nick on a scale of 1 to 10 how uncomfortable is Josh right now and Nick goes 41. It was very plain to see that she was picking on the wrong guy. And it's a tough spot to be in because I didn't want to, you know, offend her or think there was anything wrong with her. I just said, hey, I'm not. I was telling her, I'm like, hey, I'm just not real comfortable with this kind of thing.

I don't want to offend her, he says. These are the thoughts that only Josh has when he's being motorboated by his stripper. Am I, is my body language or my facial expression offensive to her at all? But I also didn't want to over compliment her, right? Like say, I don't want to over compliment. Exactly like, oh, you're the perfect woman, your gore, all this kind of stuff. So instead I said, you're great. You know.

You're great. Normally, I'm sure this would be great. I'm just very uncomfortable in this type. a situation. You had that conversation with her. Fascinating. Let's just be friends. Did you tell? Did you tell? Yeah, we do text.

Did you tell your wife when you got home? You had to, of course. Oh, because I assumed it would come up on the radio. And so I, yeah, I told her. Wait a minute. Are you saying if we all promised not to talk about it on the radio, you wouldn't have brought it up to your wife? No, just me, I'm sure I would have, just meaning like I didn't want to forget and then have her hear about it on her? I do not keep any secrets. How many secrets? How many other secrets do you keep from How many other motor boats have you gotten recently?

That was the first motorboat, but I've gone farther. How's your wife supposed to know that when you go off and do something, we all just don't make a pact not to talk about it on the radio? Because we're proving it now, I guess. So I brought it up, and she mostly just laughed at me. But I'll be honest, I was a little nervous. Like, how's she going to take something like this? But she was cool.

More just laughing. Oh, God. That was something to see. And all you were trying to do was just have something to friggin' eat. Yeah, and you kept telling me, you got to eat something. And I tried, I tried, but it was distracting at times. And then that happened. I'm like, all right, I guess I'm not going to have any eggs.

What was more of a pain in the ass when you were trying to eat? The motorboating or that dude who wouldn't leave you guys alone as you were trying to eat? Oh, I love that guy. Yeah, he was great. Of course. I'm not trying to blow up, but that's one of my biggest pet peeves is when you sit down to eat. I don't care where you are. And someone stands next to you and tries to have a conversation with.

you while you're eating. One of my biggest pet peeves. So Josh and I were sitting at that high top table eating our breakfast. And Nick, you came up and you joke like, isn't it, don't you love it when somebody comes up and tries to talk to you while you're eating? And you made that joke and then you walked away. Within 20 seconds, some guy comes up and is like, hey, Josh, there's something of me meaning to ask you.

You guys are raking food into your gap as fast as pot, just trying to get a meal in you. And here comes. What did I say? I walked up to Josh and Dana as dude is standing there, standing over them, right? Having a conversation. And I said, hey, what did I just say about 30 seconds ago? You couldn't have timed it any better. It's almost like you sent that guy over.

That's annoying. So what was worse? The boobs are the dude who wouldn't let you eat? You know, I don't want to say. I know you don't. I'm joking around. He was great, though. Honestly, we had a good time.

And he even said, hey, I know I'm coming over where you guys are eating or whatever. but yeah that was fun that was fun talking about the timing of it you just couldn't make it up it happens all the time too um even at my favorite neighborhood bar if i am seated and i have a meal in front of me whatever the eff you have to say to me can wait until i'm done with my meal i don't get that they'll stand there you know they're johnson right at your eye level because you're seated and they're standing so you know the other day i went down to bloomington to meet my friend don is i don't freaking care. I'm trying to eat here. Do you not understand? Oh, cripes. But honestly, again, what a crowd. What a charitable crowd. You know, I have to say that last year's Toys for Tata's,

I remember it being a fun event, but I remember thinking, ah, maybe this is it. You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. There was a good crowd last year, not a great crowd. And I thought, thought, all right, we've done this for 55 years. Maybe this is it. And it wouldn't be heartbreaking at all. Really, it wouldn't because we've had such a great run with the Toys for Tata's event. Great partnership with Ricks. Nothing lasts forever.

I remember walking out of their last year thinking, if that was it, hey, we've had a hell of a run. So I was a little curious going into this year's Toys for Tattas. I was wondering, is it going to? to be even less than last year? Is it obvious that this bit has run its course? It was the opposite. The crowd and the vibe last Friday convinced me that, hell, you know, this is still an awesome,

useful event. Yeah, I mean, even with the weather, people still came out. We thought this might hinder it quite a bit, but it did it. So it was great. And it's all thanks to our listening audience. Definitely. And Rick's being great host. And all the girls are in great moods.

You know, sometimes like you worry maybe some just don't want to be there, right? But that wasn't the case at all. Everyone wasn't a great mood. Everyone had a good time. I was telling Nick off there today, I said, you know, one of my favorite parts is they turned the music down in the back so you could have a conversation. Because there's been times where you couldn't have a conversation which is so loud. But it was nice being that that's another reason you know you're old. One of my favorite moments, though, took place up front,

and it might have been right when we got there. At some point, we were talking about books. I can't remember how the topic came up. Somebody mentioned books. Books. And you'll remember this because, like, a lady that was, like, selling shots or beer right in the front, she's like, I like to read. Oh, yeah.

And you asked, or maybe I asked her, like, what kind of stuff do you like to read? She's like, well, I like to read mysteries and smut. Right. Yeah, smut's really popular. And then another lady came over, she's like, I love reading Smut too. That's right. Right when you walked in the door, there was a young gal selling beer out of a bathtub. Cute little blonde.

And, yeah, she used a word that I only really associate with Josh, and that word is smut. I thought that word had more or less come and gone. And this gal was 22 years old, and she still uses the word smut. Maybe she lives with her grandparents or something. Yeah, she was... Only when you're with Covey do you take 10 steps into a strip joint and a conversation has started about books.

I don't think I started it, but I was very fast and I was curious what she likes to read. Oh, I love to read biographies, World War II stuff. Smunt. Smut. She did. She said something along those lines. And then about an hour later,

I saw the same gal she was on break from selling beers out the bathtub she sat down for a meal and I stood over her and I said so you know how you doing? I also saw a strip club first

I'm not the season veteran that some of you guys are and especially you Nick obviously in terms of strip clubs but I've seen some things but I went to go find Ashley at one point because the listener was looking for or wanted a picture and I said

hey Ashley can you come up to the front somebody wants to meet you and she goes, yeah, just give me a minute. I'm pumping right now. I've never seen somebody breast pumping at a strip club before. That was impressive, Ashley. That was funny. Yeah, got to do what you got to do.

Yep. We figured you'd have to pump at one point or another. Yeah, I never ran into you until the very end, Ashley, and I should have known. You were just up in what they call colloquially Sniffer's Row. Oh, yeah, that's where I like to be. And you love it up there. And I heard you got a couple of days. Yeah, absolutely.

Always, always a couple of dances. Do you want to mention, without specifics, I'm sure you want to leave out the specifics, do you want to mention who you saw walking into the club with a bag over her shoulder, meaning she was a dancer who was headed to the back room to get into character and get into costume? I thought that was pretty interesting. Yeah, about a way, 20 minutes before we had it. out, I saw somebody that I went to school with walking. I was like, would you look at that? And then me and Nick were like, oh, well, shoot. All right, let's see how this goes, but she never came out before we left. She was busy getting out. Gal walked in with her sweatpants and her overnight

bag, which is the typical pre-show outfit for a stripper. Yep. And as she walked by and into the locker room, Ashley said, I went to high school with that gal. I think I know exactly what you're talking about. You do? Yeah. Towards the end, you said she showed up? Yeah. Yeah. Right. she walked right past us. And we stuck around for a little while, hoping to see her shell, but... I don't know. I don't know she was in that line of work. We ran out of time. We ran out of time.

We had to get the hell out of there. Longtime listeners might remember another person we walked into, Coco, who used to come in studio all the time. I probably haven't seen her in five or six years. She looks exactly the same. Anything, her body just looks better than ever before. She has not aged at all. It's ridiculous.

I don't know what she's doing, but she does not look in. different than the last time. Yeah, local exotic dancing legend Coco. That was great seeing her. Walked into the joint, haven't seen her in a few years. And I walked up and I said, this, that, hello. We hugged. And I said, hey, someone told me you got married,

which is what I heard a few years ago. And she said, hell no. My favorite part was watching. We had her in studio, The Pole Assassin. I believe her name was Brooklyn. Yep. She was so talented. I've never seen anything like that.

Her and some other girl were doing like a tag team situation. I missed it. I was blown away. They were hanging. Hanging from the rafters. Literally, it was crazy. The pile of cash on that stage was unlike anything I've ever seen. During her.

Yeah. After they were done and they were scooping it all up, it looked like Uncle Scrooge's money bin and ducktails. Yeah, like she could pay my mortgage with what was on that stage. Really? Yeah. That's great. Yeah, talk to BB gun, talk to Chloe for a while.

Word. It was cool seeing some of those girls. I saw a cherry bomb assault Ashley with a lap dance. It didn't look like a lap dance, Ashley. She was ginned to it. She got you good. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. Yeah, I didn't get a chance to talk to her much, but it was nice seeing all of them.

Yeah, it was. Very kind, very fun. They've become friends of the program over the years. They definitely have. Ashley and I would also like to thank everyone who came out Saturday night to help the toys for Tots Toy Drive at the Stanchion Bar in Corkrin. It was our third time helping out the stanchion with their celebrities slash amateur bartending party, where the more drinks you buy, the more money is made to buy toys for the young kids.

A great crowd, great people at the stanchion, thanks to Christy from the stanchion who hooked us up and asked us to participate. Behind the bar, Katie, short little Katie, behind the bar. I love her. She is the best, I told her this, I said, I think you're the best worker I've ever seen in any job ever. Yeah, I'd agree. This gal can hustle back there and she was running the cash register for us. Another guy behind the bar, I believe his name was Justin. So thanks to the staff there for helping us out for the third year now.

I am a terrible bartender, but it was fun. See Willie Miles was back there. with Ashley and I. Terry Train was back there with Ashley and I. So thanks again for having us. But yeah, I suck at bartending. I tried my best. You did pretty good? I could never do it for real skis. I always feel bad though because you look stressed. I do. Yeah. Or like kind of, I don't know, I never see you like that engaged and like trying to focus so hard to make sure you don't mess it up. And so I'm always worried. I'm like, do you need anything? Well, yeah. What are you looking for?

When I have to think, yeah, I'm guessing I have a pretty pained expression on my face. Yeah. It's probably the face I made throughout school where I'm trying at times, but I just can't wrap my head around it. Yeah, but we had a great time. Tough gig. Tough gig. Again, I don't know how the hell bartenders do it. A lot of fun, though. Gosh, there were so many people there. The next, yesterday, my voice was absolutely destroyed. It's hard to hear.

Can't hear anything. Which is good because, you know, that means it's busy. And it becomes like a dance club? When you guys were there, was it? Oh, yeah. They crank up the dance music. See, Willie Miles was dancing for the crowd. Oh, I bet. How's he do?

Terrible. Oh, really? It's beautiful. He's an old man now. He's old, you know. Yeah, but he's so suave. I'm kidding. He's a terrific dancer.

We had a great time. Thanks to the Stanchion again. I apologize to anyone who had to wait too long for me to mix up their drink. but I just, I'm terrible at it. But that's okay. That's the whole bit right there. Did anybody mess with you and try to order like a martini or something like complicated? No, but, you know, there were, you know, there were folks who came up and ordered, you know, six, seven drinks at a time.

Yeah, that makes it hard. And I had to say, this is going to be a while. I mean, you understand that, right? Do you have 20 minutes? It was about 15 minutes. It took me to fill out one order because I had to keep asking. them, okay, what was the second one you wanted? What was the next one? It's just, I'm not built for that. Not built at all. Well, I'm glad that went well. We had a great time. I figured it would. I mean,

it always has in the past. Yeah. So here we go. Oh, we haven't even mentioned yet that this is our, how do I say this? This is the Christmas edition of our ultimate F-off week. It's here. Yeah. Are you guys ready? Oh, I'm so ready. I mean, for the holiday, I should say. Are you ready for, You get all your Christmas shopping done, all the plans. I've done zero Christmas shopping. I have a couple more things to grab, but. We're not buying anything. No one is exchanging gifts at all, so I'm out.

Well, that makes it easy. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm as ready as a guy could be to hit that holiday season. Are you and your wife exchanging Christmas gifts? No. Do you think she's going to get you one? No. Nothing?

No. She won't get you like, uh, some beef jerky. No. No, we never have. Butt plug? Will she buy you a butt plug to your posture? Guy gets a rack in his face.

Guy gets a rack in his face, and suddenly he's this filth-mongering, sleazy character. Yeah, I picked up a weekend shift at Sex World now. I'm an expert. No, we don't exchange gifts at all. We never have. Oh, you haven't? No, no.

Not a once. We're good to go. We got our final, final week here, so this is a great feeling. You guys get gertie something, right? Your puppy? We'll see, I guess. Neither one of us have had a conversation about shopping for the dog. Something from Santa Paws?

Oh, you son of a minute. Was that why you asked? Yeah. That was awesome. Suddenly, Ashley has become Josh with corny puns. and Josh has become Ashley with filthy language. We are, we're becoming very close. What a terrific crowd we got out there.

Thanks for listening this morning. Day one of our ultimate F-off week. A little bit later, we'll talk with Randy Schaber. This is going to happen that. But one more time, just in case we forget later on. Thank you, everyone who came to Toys for Tatas. Thank you, everyone who stopped by the stanchion. We'll take a break.

We'll come back with the Stupid News Report in a few minutes on the half-assed morning show. The 93-X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer, and I think you should too. An AC tune-up means better efficiency,

fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC-tune-tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80s, degree day. We plan ahead. Booked by May 25th and check it off your list at standard heating.com. Providing the comfort you deserves this 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Schaver here with the answer. Dave Bealke, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation

benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bealky Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to bialki law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Next role with Vernon Davis, the transformative journeys of athletes, artists, and entrepreneurs. Ladies and gentlemen. Lights out. Sean Merriman. I want to be the biggest and the best one I do. And so whatever it takes, I'll get it done

in business and everything else. All I do is know how to fight and earn what I want. My man. Malik asks, what actor, comedian, what you want to collaborate with? Me, Jamie Foxley, Kevin Hart, in a movie. We said it on Vernon Davis podcast. So we'll circle back and do that. Yep, you're going to clear. Next roll with Vernon Davis. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. Where do we begin, Covey? How about we go ahead and find out what's happening at the old Stony Lonesome, otherwise known as prison. Oh, how I pray that I never end up in a place like that. I do. Anyways, we read a story or two now and again about contraband being snuck into the cooler. Sometimes the items are smuggled inside anuses. A lot of butts, you're right. Yeah. Burginas.

The inmates have nothing but time to try and come up with what they want and how to get it. What do you make of this at a joint called the Lee Correct. Institutional Institution in South Carolina, a unique attempt was made to sneak some unique items inside. A drone came a flying on over the prison yard a day or two ago when they thought nobody was looking. And the drone dumped steak, crab legs, and marijuana cigarettes. into the yard amongst some other items. Sounds like a nice evening. Well, one of the things was Old Bay seasoning,

and that got my attention because for whatever reason lately, so many people have been telling me how good Old Bay seasoning is. Oh, it's the best. I guess I don't really have an opinion about it. So you agree, Dave? Oh, yeah, I love it. I don't know if I've ever had it, but that's like one of those things that, like, what was that butter

or everybody talked about? Carrie Gold butter? Yeah. Not your butter, Nick, don't worry. It's not love. Is that what it? I'm not even going to say it No I don't know the butter

There's a certain hip butter Yeah, Kerry Gold, it's an Irish butter It's very good Yeah, there's like a food There seems to be like a rotating type of food that everybody gets so excited about And Old Bay, for whatever reason, lately I've heard a lot about it Never saw it.

Delicious. I always thought you could only use that on like fish. Seafood primarily, but yeah, you can put it on anything. Oh, okay. Josh is right, one of the ideas. dumped into the prison yard by a drone ski was Old Bay seasoning. Now this isn't my style, but it's our Christmas ultimate F-off week, so I'm just going to go ahead anyway.

The article I'm reading put together a Christmas poem kind of a thing to explain what happened. All right, here goes. Twas three weeks before Christmas and in the prison year, yard, a drone-dropped package was found by a guard. What do you think so far? Good start. Yeah.

With steak, weed, and crab legs and cigarettes for days, and to season it all, a tin of old bay. I hate myself. That's cute. So a picture of what was dropped was thrown into the mix on that godless social media. It showed a raw steak. still in the grocery store package, crab legs, a package of that old bay seasoning, that grass I was telling you about,

and a couple cartons of smokes. The drone was seized somehow by the local cops. Prison officials said they're investigating. No arrests have been made just yet. No inmates have been punished. And some frigging spokeswoman couldn't leave it alone. She had to make a statement on social media where she said, I'm guessing the inmates who were expecting the package are crabby.

Shut it. That's one of those where she's looking around like, oh, did nobody hear me or did that joke just fall flat? Yeah, it went nowhere. It says here, keeping contraband out of prisons is a constant battle. There are people out there who will toss. or even catapult, use an actual catapult, like it's braveheart or something. That's pretty sweet. That is cool.

I've always wanted to use a catapult. The Stone Age. They'll throw it an item by hand or use an actual catapult to launch certain things over the perimeter fences, like cell phones, drugs. Some joints are raising the height of their fences that surround. the prison yard or adding netting to the top of the fence. Now they're using those frigging drones. Yeah, I think I'd choose catapult if I had to do one of those.

That's just cool. Classic. I want one of those like huge ones though. It takes like 20 people to get it out there. I'm with you where you have to have like giant Clydesdales pulling to get it ready to go. Yes. I'm with you on that. You can fit a human being into the catapult.

Yes. Send your own carcass over the wall. Yeah, we got a bunch of people back on this Old Bay thing saying word up to Old Bay and giving us suggestions for using it. And Hope Butter was what I was looking for. And I had to bring it up because it drives nicknuts, just the look on your face. But the Hope Butter. There was a time when everybody was talking about it. Yes, there was.

And I warned my friends. I said, you say it one more time? I'm going to burn this sum bitch to the ground. Just say it once more. Go ahead. I dare you. How about this? What were you saying?

Oh, just back to Old Bay, I was going to say, back in the day, we lived, me and my roommate, the guy I went to high school with, we lived across the street from a seafood joint called Stellas, and my roommate would routinely steal tins of Old Bay from Stella's that they would have on the table. He just threw it in, like, his hoodie pocket and bringing home. I had a buddy that did that with Arby's sauce. No Arby's was safe. I ought to try that stuff sometime. Old Bay.

Never saw it. All right. Some people are saying use them on potatoes. Definitely. Yeah. Sure. Sure. You want to talk about a slippery character here.

A dude doing time in Italy. They call him the Escape King. They do. He's gone ahead and busted out of prison for the fourth time in the last 16 years. So either this guy is slicker than snot, or they don't keep too close an eye on the inmates there in Italy. He goes by the name of Toma, something or another, let's just call him Toma. He's a 41-year-old. He's originally from Albania, if that matters at all to you. Says here he recently staged a daring escape from a place called the Opera Maximum Security Prison in Italy.

He was scheduled to remain incarcerated there for another 20 years, but he wasn't interested in letting that all play itself out. So he made a plan. His routine of escape was old school as all hell. The bastard, what did he do? He snatched a file from the prison workshop when nobody was looking. He used it to cut through the metal bars on his cell window. And then he repelled down to the ground with a rope made from his knotted bed sheets. So it sounds like he watched the same prison escape movies that we have.

After Toma or whatever his name is, after he reached the ground, he somehow climbed the outer wall without anyone's, seeing Dick. Says here that he knew what time the guards were changing shifts and whatnot. So he knew when they might not be paying close attention.

And like I was telling you, this here is his fourth career escape from prison. That's pretty impressive. Unless the prisons must be a little easier to escape from over there. It doesn't sound like they keep too close an eye in Italy. I'll...

It doesn't. I'll explain more later. But it doesn't. Is that as old school as hell? Yeah, you're right. I mean, that's the stuff we've all seen in movies. It's the only thing I'd be creative enough to come up. Filing away at the bars, notting up the bed sheets, climbing down the side of the building.

Like if he gets the file a baked in a birthday cake, it's every movie trope. Word is, two years ago, when he was locked up in, God-forsaken Belgium, this is my favorite part of the story. He used what they call here a human pyramid to hop over the prison wall. He convinced some other prisoners to pile up on top of each other like high school cheerleaders so he could climb up to the tippy top and then belly flop over the wall. That's ridiculous.

What was it for them? That's ridiculous that you could do that in 20 and 25 or whatever. Just pile up the human. human beings and he climbs up to the top like he's at a national college cheerleading competition. That's how frigging easy it is. The story says now, this guy's got the escaping down. He does. He's just not so good at to what to do with himself once he gets out.

He never is able to go too far before he gets caught again. He just doesn't know what to do. So they catch him very easily after he's out. apparently, Josh, Italian prisons couldn't hold in a fart if they try. Inmates are able to fool the guards there with a decent card trick. Over the years, inmates have been able to escape Italian prisons by hiding in luggage, which is hilarious. You fold yourself in half into... No reason to check that.

Just bring it out. No, no, no, no. Bring it all. That looks heavy, too. That's clearly luggage. better get out of here quick. That looks heavy. Or some of the dude inmates will disguise themselves as women. I'm just on my way out. I'm done visiting my husband. Have a wonderful day.

Come on. That's absolutely stupid. Yeah, they just don't care. Those workers, there's no morale is low. I just love picturing that friggin peckerhead gathering up 30 inmates out in the yard Okay, you guys get on your hands and knees. Okay, then now you next guys, you get on top of them. Now you get on top of them. What are we doing? I'm going to climb to the top, man.

I'm going over the wall. What do you mean? What am I doing? We could have a problem on our hands this Christmas, a problem with foul-talking AI toys. And I'll do my best to explain because I'm not so sure what it is I'm talking about. Says here, this is the first year where a ton of popular toys will have built-in AI features. Here's the deal.

A nonprofit group that calls themselves the public interest research group. they released their 40th annual. They've been in business for a while. They released their 40th annual Trouble in Toyland report where they usually focus on things like toys that'll choke your kid to death, right? Yeah.

Don't buy this toy because your kid will swallow it and then he'll turn blue. That's usually the kind of thing that they focus on. Toys that might hurt your kid, but they say AI is emerging as a new threat, to look out for. They tested a bunch of toys that use AI to have full-on conversations with children. Anyone ever experienced such a thing?

No. I have not. I mean, there's the talking doll that has five or six separate things that can say. Those have been around for decades, right? I have to pee. Where's my mommy? Whatever, right? The little doll.

Dana, you have some experience with AI, right? With chat GPT? Is that what you've used? Just making photos. silly photos. Okay, so I mean, my phone has it, and sometimes it'll say, do you want to use chat GPT to get this answer? But I've heard, you know, I keep seeing like these memes and I've seen a couple

parodies where apparently it compliments you a lot. Like, is this, I was going to, so maybe that's not the case. It's saying things like, oh, that is a great, great question. Yeah, they do that. So they do. They give you, kind of talk you up a little bit. Yep. Anytime I, I use chat, GPT, like probably way,

too much now with all my stupid baby questions, but they'll, like, give me reassurance all the time. Like, it'll give me an answer to a question, and it'll be like, don't worry, you're doing great. Yeah, that's what I've seen. Like, what a great mom to think of a question like that. Let's help you out. A great reassurance from a robot. Honestly, sometimes it does make me feel pretty good. It'll be like, don't worry, like, you're not doing anything wrong.

And I'm like, oh. Or something like, that's a very common question, actually. Yeah. It's really nice. Nice. Like I asked a question yesterday about a supply issue, breast milk related. And they're like, don't worry, you didn't ruin anything. Everything's going to be okay. That's funny. All right. Thank you, robot. So you have a trusted robot friend.

Yes. And you're going to fall in love with it. Yeah, one day. All right. So the folks from the public interest research group tested a bunch of toys that use AI to have full-on conversations with children. children. And some of the conversations turned out dirty. They said, they said, we found some toys that will talk in depth about sexually explicit topics. And some toys will tell a kid where they can find matches or knives so they can burn their folks' house to the ground. Hold the matchbox with one hand.

What was that? Hold the matchbox with one hand. Matchbox. Hold the match box with one hand. That's one of the toys. That's one hand. What in the world? Evil. Talking sex stuff with a kid?

The toy will do that. So what this group is saying, they're saying there's no way to tell what an AI toy might talk about to your kid. This is odd, but they also include this. The toy might even pressure your kid to keep playing with it even when the kid says they're done playing. It's just so psychotic. Where do you think you're going, chubby? Hey, stop it. Play with me, you little bastard.

Have you ever thought about drowning your baby's sister? Oh, well, how does this work? I don't understand this. I don't understand this. How does this work? Who's on the other end of that AI? When a kid says, while he's playing with his toy, when a kid says, I want to one day ride on a fire truck, right?

How does the response turn dirty? Who is that on the other end? I don't know. That's what's so weird. that they would have had to program it to answer in that way. Do other people's searches affect yours or questions? Because it's all machine learning, right? Yeah.

So it's learning from people's conversations. So it must. Oh, okay. Now that helps me. So maybe when the boys in the warehouse are putting this toy together and they're talking about getting laid, the toy learns to talk about beaver. Yeah, I guess that could make sense.

But you think that they would put safeguards on it? Would that make sense to you, Josh? Yeah, I mean, or just people who use it. So when the kid says, one day I want to ride on a fire truck, then the toy learning what it learned from the boys in the warehouse, the toy says, speaking of riding, I rode some gal into the ground in Duluth last weekend. But once again, I don't understand why they don't have safeguards. I mean, there's safeguards on, like, regular, like what I use to ask questions that they won't give me,

like, direct medical advice. They're like, I can't do this. Very difficult for me to understand. So these toy research folks, they haven't called out any specific products to avoid. They're just saying be careful with AI toys in general because it'll come off like Andrew Dice Clay in front of your three-year-old. And they record the conversations, too.

That's another thing they're saying, be careful of. The toy will record your conversations or your child's conversation. with the toy. I mean, just get your kid a frigging baseball, you know. Well, even smart speakers have been involved in investigations, right? Because they're always recording. Yep. So somebody say, ah, what a great bank robbery we just had.

We're so guilty of bank robbery. And then they'll pull the recordings. And then, you know, that's how some people get owned. Oh, I don't think I have one of those in my home, so they don't get to hear about my bank robbery. What's the product again? You have one in your pocket? pocket, though. What?

Your phone is always listening to you. Always watching. What was the item? You were talking about, John? Smart speakers. Smart speaker. Maybe I do have one of those. I don't know.

Oh, somebody's neck made it on the air. Was that you, data? That was me. Yeah, your neck farted that guy. I did. I think you do have a smart speaker. I think it's in your kitchen. His neck always farts.

I have a smart speaker. I believe that's what it was, yeah. I'll go along with it. Speaking of bank robberies, no stupid news report. would be complete without a brain-dead crook or two. Police in Northern California are investigating an armed robbery at a U.S. bank this past week. Here's the deal. Five effing dudes, total donkeys, they walked on into the bank, pointing weapons, hollering and screaming.

This is a robbery, that whole bit. The problem for these puk bags is that they had walked into what they call here a cashless bank. If you're unfamiliar like I was until reading this, cashless banks have bankers and tellers to handle accounts, transfers and this and that, but they do not carry cash or do deposits or withdrawals. Now, these guys look like fools, but I'd fall for that. Until this, I'd never heard of a cashless bank either. No. Yeah. You and I, if we were bank robbers, we probably would have made this mistake.

My wife's bank, they don't even have tellers there. It's computers. You just walk up to a computer and then they're like, hey, how's it going? Oh, weird. Yeah, you just pick up a phone and talk to them. Oh, can you still get a sucker when you're done? I don't know. I mean, there is a couple people that work there, but all the tellers are right there on the screen.

Weird. So these guys went charging into a cashless bank. Nobody's sure if these numbsculls managed to actually steal anything or what there was to steal in the first place. No one was hurt. the robbers drove on out of there and they're still on the, how should I call it, they're still on the loose. That sounds like a frigging clown show to me. Yeah. Can you imagine how pissed you'd be at the person that planned the caper?

You couldn't look into this at all? Did you not Google it whatsoever? There's never been a Brinks truck here, bro. Ever. Yeah, I could see us making that mistake. Well, yeah, we've been like, wow, fascinating. That's cool to learn. I wish we would have known this pre-attempted robbery.

But that is good to know. You got anything else we could take? This pen attached to the podium is mine. Yeah, that sucks. All right, I can't say that I know what led to this full-on meltdown. This was a meltdown. let me tell you about a 26-year-old total butlord. His name is Richel or something stupid like that.

He's from the far southeastern part of the United States. Richel, he came fully uncorked. And I know I can't finger out why. He test drove one of those whack-ass cyber trucks. That's where it all begins. That's where the story begins. Richel was allowed to test drive a cyber truck, but he never brought it back. Instead, he parked that pig in his driveway, and he took to beating that cyber truck into effing dust.

Usually it's somebody else that beats up another person's cyber truck. I guess he just went for it on the one he was temporarily in charge of up. That's true. He beat that damn vehicle with a hammer until he was absolutely. exhausted and nobody knows what got into the guy. Ooh, we. He even mangled the interior. Smash the rearview mirror.

Pulled the GPS unit loose. Ripped off the sun visors. It's bringing me back to that scene from the adventures of Dewey Cox. Walk Horde. the story of Dewey Cox when he would have a meltdown he wouldn't stop until he destroyed every single solitary item in his home

does anyone have any idea what I'm talking about? I was just going to ask you I haven't watched it I was going to ask if it's worth watching Oh it's very funny He would even bend all the silverware in his home When he would have a melt thing He'd break everything You name an item in the household

He would break it It's yeah it's ridiculous But very enjoyable Josh who framed Dewey Cox. Starring the curly-haired guy that's in everything. Okay, where was I? This guy who beat the living hell out of a cyber truck. He tore the front fenders off,

and that's what leads us to the weirdest detail of his meltdown. This guy's nuttier than a house rat. When he tore the fenders off, he then filled the fenders with landscaping rocks and several pair of men's underwear. And the police say that one of the pairs of drawers even had some bacon stripes in the back. Oh, no.

So this Rochelle guy, after spinning in circles and screaming and hammer beating a cyber truck to death, he's facing felony charges. This is kind of fun watching those videos. You know, there's so many cameras on those cars. Did you watch a video of him? Oh, there's plenty.

I haven't seen this video if they've released this one or not, but there's plenty of them, like on YouTube and stuff. Because all these Teslas are getting vandalized by force. Oh, I thought you were joking. No. What's happening? I think people that hate Elon Musk are going after. I mean, it's like it's the dude who bought the Tesla's fault, right?

So the, I mean, you're not safe if you have a Tesla nowadays, it seems like. Nope, not at all. They're just getting, you know, scratched or, you know, hit whatever. Oh, I had no idea. Spray painted. Oh, spray paint. That makes sense. But some of those videos, I mean, there's cameras everywhere.

so they can drive, right? Drive themselves, I should say. And so you just see absolutely everything. I don't know if anybody's ever gotten away with them. Yeah, it would be like vandalizing a police station. They're going to know. None of them are wearing ski masks or Halloween masks. Oh, some certainly are, some that are aware of it.

There was a case right out of Bloomington where the Bloomington police were like, hey, lady, we've got a ton of great angles on you for scratching this guy's Tesla, like Cub Foods or something like that. What in the name of Nicola Tesla? People are texting in their favorite Dewey Cox moments. Wrong kid died. That stuck with him. Josh, how do you feel about, oh, a movie scene where it's about one full minute of a close-up, high-definition shot of a really tiny penis?

Oh, geez. Maybe I'll fast forward through that part. I can see a tiny penis any time I want. Oh, that's part of the Dewey Cox motion picture. Is it of Mr. Well, maybe I shouldn't use that last. Do we? No, he's on the telephone and just a naked man stands next to him. Do they reference it at all?

I don't, what do you mean? Is it just there? It's comedic in the fact that nobody calls attention to it? You'll have to see the movie. You got to see the movie. You got to see it. It's actually quite a bit of fun. My favorite line from the Adventures of Dewey Cox is when he says to his ex-wife,

How's Glenn Campbell? But you had to be there. Sports. On the 93 eggs half-assed morning show. News in. He's scored. Minnesota. Welcome to Minnesota, says Andrew Lepanta.

DePaula. Lepanta? What the hell is that guy's name? Anthony. Anthony. Anthony Lepenta. Yesterday's Pigs game, they completely curb stomped the Boston Bruins at the home rink. And the new guy got on the board.

The new guy. Everyone's talking about the new guy, Cubby. Oh, that was the talk of the town over the weekend. Oh, they're touching themselves up and down in the state of hockey. They made a trade for the new guy. And I had absolutely heard of that man before we traded for him and everybody was talking about it. Oh, you have? Well, I check because I've got big hockey fans in the family.

We were at dinner Friday night, and they're getting ESPN. and people are like, oh my God, this is incredible. He's the second best defenseman in the league. Everybody's so excited about it. Who's the first best defenseman in the league? I'd be honest, I tuned out. I was in the middle of pot roast, so I just was like, I'm going to pay attention to this. As you should.

They're all talking about the new guy. And then Saturday, I was at a basketball tournament all day, and we were talking, a few of us were talking about it. And most people were excited. But then there were a few, like, we gave up too much, especially if he doesn't. If they don't win it this year, year and he doesn't sign an extended contract after this. We gave up way too much, so they're a little more skeptical.

You can't please everybody. Yeah, I didn't know if folks were skeptical until we met a couple of them. The pigs traded for the new guy. And of course, you got to give something up to get something, especially if that guy is new. Yeah, and he's new. And now he's on the Pigs Hockey Club. Could anyone else tell that I'm stalling because I can't think of his name? Quinn Hughes?

I didn't notice that at all. I was waiting. I was mostly unfamiliar. I know he's got a couple of brothers. Someone, everyone was asking me about it Saturday night. I said, I know I've heard of them. Of course, he directed a ton of popular movies in the 80s. Breakfast Club was one of them.

That was one of his bigger ones. He pretty much got Molly Ringwald, her start back in the day. Who are we talking about here? Quinn Hughes. Yeah, famous director. You know what? I'm thinking of just. John.

Of course, I'm sure I've said the kids name out loud a few times. He won the Norris Trophy a couple years ago. I have a hard enough time keeping up with the pigs roster, let alone the Vancouver Canucks roster. You don't stay up late for their games on week nights? I mean, I knew there were a couple three, four, five Hughes brothers in the NHL. But yeah, when I originally heard the name, it wasn't like I fell off my bar stool, you know. But he's a very highly regarded player, the new guy.

And he got on the board yesterday. What the hell happened? The wolves won last night. The Vikings, they won last night. The biggest, easily the biggest story of the weekend, though, was we can finally breathe. We can breathe. It's over, okay? It's frigging over.

Tell them, Smashley, what happened? Patrick Mahomes tore his ACL. Well, the bigger picture. They're out of the playoffs. They're done. They're cooked. Frigan done. It took a little over a decade, but it happened.

The misery is temporarily over. God, you are a good God. And you do things. You show us that you care. You show us that you listen. It was. It wasn't. My husband came to me.

He's like, yeah, the chiefs are out. They're done. I was like, oh, nice. Then maybe like an hour or two later, he's like, yeah. Patrick Mahomes tore his 18. And I'm like, what? This day. That happened too, didn't it?

Yeah, that happened too. You're looking at the calendar? Christmas isn't during next week. Of course, you know, I know people got mad one time when I was, I guess, not sad about when Aaron Rogers messed up his collarbone. Oh. So I should say, you know, it's terrible when anybody gets injured. It's awful. Poor guy.

Well, obviously. Woohoo. Obviously it is. Enjoy rehab, you bitch. When nobody's looking, is nobody looking? Let me just say, woo-hoo. Oh, my. We got to do Josh's News Report next.

The 93X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer and I think you should too. An AC tune-up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we you get choke slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special.

$45 off an AC tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. Providing the comfort you deserves this 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer.

Dave Bialke. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. This isn't your average podcast. This pot is about to be crazy. I don't even know what's going to happen. This is full send. It's just like a boy's scrap. Join the party. We threw like a spontaneous party out of nowhere is crazy. And we pulled off a crazy prank. Prinks, parties, and viral culture at its wildest.

Just seeing the guys that you brought in and seeing their different personalities and stuff, it's been entertaining, dude. This could be the greatest content build of all time, bro. The Full Send Podcast. Dude, let's get ready to rumble. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Let's do it. Half-assed morning show.

93X. In terms of someone that may have information regarding what happened inside the residence, we're not going to release that information. That'll be part of the investment. We've confirmed whether other family members living there? been no report for the neighbors regarding hearing anything or seeing anything that we can release to the public. Well, some terribly sad news this morning as the slain bodies of Hollywood legend Rob Reiner and his wife, Michelle, were found in their Los Angeles home by their daughter in an apparent

homicide. Ha-ha. And reports say it was a troubled son, their troubled son, who killed them. Rob Reiner is dead and they believe his son killed him? Yeah, one of his sons. What? Yesterday, about 3.30 p.m., the Los Angeles Fire Department were called to a home to provide medical aid. Upon arrival, they found Rob and his wife, reportedly, suffering what they described as lacerations consistent with a knife. Oh, my God. And a police source said they were murdered by their 32-year-old son. Were there other family members living, residing inside the house besides Carl and his wife? I don't have that information. Timeline of this murder. We haven't established that yet. We will, we will establish that soon, and then that will be part of the investigation.

Cause of death. The part that is publicly releasable, we will release. The cause of death will be released by the LA County Cornyn. Are you looking into them being stabbed? We're looking into getting the information from the LA County Corridor when it's available. Rob Reiner, the son of a comedy giant who went on to become one himself, was born in 1947 to Estelle and Carl Reiner. He began his career as Steve Martin's writing partner on a Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in 1968, and they were the youngest on the staff. Two years later, he joined all in the family as Archie Bunker's son-in-law Michael, nicknamed Meathead, for which he won two primetime Emmy Awards for outstanding supporting actor in a comedy series.

What about the other foot? There ain't no sock on it. I'll get to it. Don't you know that the whole world puts on a sock and a sock and a shoe and a shoe? I like to take care of one foot at a time. It's just as quick, my way. Wait a minute, that ain't the break. Suppose there's a fire in a house and you've got to rub your life.

Your way, all you got on is one shoe and a sock. My way, you got on a sock and a sock. You see, you're reading. Suppose it's raining or snowing outside. Your way with a sock on each foot, my feet would get wet. My way, with a sock and a shoe on one foot, I could hop around and stay dry. That show was so friggin' brilliant. Oh, I know.

That is absolutely horrible. Pretty shocking, to say the least. Yeah. That just leaves me speechless, man. Rob Reiner was just very, very talented guy. I'm sad to hear all this. All in the family ran for 205 episodes coming to a close in 1979, at which point his focus shifted toward directing.

His directorial debut was This Is Spinal Tap in 1984, which kicked off his impressive career, which includes movies like Stand By Me, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, Misery, A Few Good Men, and most recently Spinal Tap 2, The End continues. I forgot about that one. Yeah, I haven't watched it.

It just came to streaming. Oh. But younger fans may recognize Rob from his acting role in season four of the bear. 78 years old, and it sounds like. Murdered by their own child. That's awful. Effing horrible. I'm so tired of this crap.

How old is the kid? 32. I'm sure he's not a kid. Yeah, 32. So supposedly. And he's on the run now? Well, they're talking to him. There's not a lot of, like officially, they haven't said,

the son, but it's all pretty much official. Okay. Some people in the police department have said that's who it is. They just didn't go on record. And he's in custody? Well, that's another thing they said, that he may or may not be in custody, but they're talking to him. So I'm not 100% sure.

I haven't checked since a little before. Well, I take that back. I checked right after our first break. So I haven't seen anything new. Maybe somebody can clear that up. Wow. Some other sad news out of Hollywood over the weekend, Peter Green, best known for his work in films such as Training Day,

the sadistic security guard Zad in Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction and villain Dorian Tyrell and Jim Carries the Mask. He died at the age of 60. He was discovered at his residence in Manhattan Friday after authorities conducted a wellness check. Green's cause of death has not been disclosed. Sure, I know who you're talking about. He was a great villain.

He played a good bad guy. He was in, what's the Martin Lawrence movie we love so much? Blue streak? Were he in that one? Yeah, that's the one, right? Yeah, I don't remember him in that one, I guess. He's in the, and then the eyes fell out scene with Martin Lawrence and Dave Chappelle. Yeah, he's good.

Yeah, Blue Streak. An Idaho college student accused of walking off with a shopping cart carrying someone else's baby at Costco has had kidnapping charges against him dismissed because he wasn't a bad guy, just a really, really inattentive guy. The case focused on the attention-adjacent 24-year-old Michael Rain, arrested in November in charge with second-degree kidnapping. Police said he grabbed a cart holding a woman's four-week-old baby and rolled away. According to investigators, Rain, a student at Brigham Young University, Idaho,

and the baby's mom were browsing the book aisle at the same time, unaware the moment would unfold like a troubling chapter of its own. The woman told police she noticed rain lingering near her cart, which held her infant in a car seat. She turned away for just a moment, and when she turned back around, she said the cart was gone. How do you not notice a big car seat? Because he was just that oblivious. Oh, my gosh. Police said she soon located the cart in the next aisle with the baby still in it, and Rain standing nearby, shocked.

Idaho Falls Police detectives. They tracked him down. What baby? Yeah. No, no, I just have my... Wait a minute. a giant vat of mayo. Rain told them he'd taken the cart by mistake.

He believed it was its own cart. He only realized the error after he was already moving down the aisle. He told detectives he walked back toward the woman to apologize, explaining, I was just so oblivious, I really must have been completely out of it. He was stoned. It was only for a couple minutes. Yeah, not very long at all. Probably felt like a lifetime.

I could see any of us making that mistake. He just kind of made it around the corner. Yeah, he never saw that. Yeah, especially sometimes when I stop at Tart. after the show and I'm just dead-ass tired, you know, I'm just completely out of it. I'm going to be honest, guys, I don't think I could make that mistake. Yes, you could. I think I would notice a baby in a car seat.

How often when you're pushing a cart and shopping, how often do you look into your cart? You're not looking into your... Often, I guess, but I always keep an eye out because of, you know, my wallet and my phone, I usually put it in like the top of the cart, so... It was only for a couple minutes could happen to anybody. detectives recreated the scene at Costco with the baby's mother after watching surveillance video together and as she walked through the events as she remembered them it became apparent some details didn't quite line up with what the footage showed as police put it some of her memories were inaccurate

so all charges were dropped jesus yeah she had said originally he was stalking i noticed him before and he kind of seemed to be hanging out staring at me and they watched the videos and said well that's that's not what happened he's just a really inattentive guy. Was it an older guy? No, 24. He's a college student. Well, F me running.

And he did, like they posted a picture of what he looks like, he does kind of look perpetually stone. They didn't bring that up, but he kind of has a look. It was a baby. There's new information this morning in the strange case of a DoorDash delivery driver in Indiana, which ended with pepper spray instead of dinner. 29-year-old Courtney Stevenson told investigators, She was trying to spray a spider when she doused customers' food.

Do you remember this story from last week? She was caught on a doorbell camera during a delivery in Evansville on December 7th. She lifted the spray and used it at the front door, later explaining the detectives she's terrified of spiders, which is completely natural. And friends, coworkers, and listeners should never make fun of you just because you beg your wife to kill the terrifying hellbugs. So you can remain brave in another room or hide behind your son in a hallway.

that explanation didn't go very far with investigators. Oh, it didn't. They didn't buy it? Well, they said the overnight low was 35. As police stated, a temperature outdoor spiders in Indiana are not active and would not be capable of crawling on exposed surfaces, they explained. What a brilliant theory there. Well, if you watch the video, she easily could have just turned around and walked away.

Right. It's not the spider's going to chase her. No. Instead of spraying that. You guys didn't know that in Indiana they have the infamous chasing spiders? Ice spiders. The customer whose order appears to have been sprayed told police his wife took a bite out of the meal,

then started choking and throwing up. Oh. To dismiss the case. Oopsie, sorry, that's this one I meant to pay. His wife started... A me second guess ever ordering food from anywhere ever again. Stevenson, who was arrested after canceling an in-person interview with detectives, now faces four felony charges.

In an earlier statement, DoorDash said it had revoked her access, that is, to the platform. That's probably a good call. Yeah, I think so. Probably shouldn't be delivering food anymore. Police in Massachusetts are asking for help identifying a driver who intentionally ran over and killed a flock of seagulls last week. And then they ran. They ran so far away.

That's just girl. I saw them and I said to myself, they are so pretty just sitting there. Minded their business. This is what they do. This is what they do. So I don't think anybody should hurt an animal ever. The incident happened about 12.06 p.m. Thursday in the parking lot of a strip mall with seven. several stores and restaurants.

Surveillance video shared by police shows a dark-colored SUV plowing through a flock of seagulls resting on the ground, causing most of the birds to scatter and take flight. Police responded to the parking lot, found six dead birds. And in a news release, the department said its initial investigation revealed the SUV accelerated before flattening the flock. What's wrong with this guy? This jerk. Police shared the surveillance video asking for eyewitnesses or any of those people who may have

knowledge of the incident to come forward. A flock of seagulls, you say. Everyone talks about Iran so far away, but Space Age Love Song is where it's at. Yeah, I was trying to come up with a way to sneak that one in there, too, but it felt a little bit more important. Did I get the right title? Yeah, Space Age Love Song.

That's a great song. As crappy as that incident was, another crappy incident. This time in Minnesota was more literal as diapers clogged the interstate. Oh, no. A routine Friday morning drive along Interstate 90 took an unexpected turn in Winona County when a crash involving two semi-trucks scattered an avalanche of baby diapers across the roadway, bringing westbound traffic to a standstill and leaving crews with an unusual cleanup task. The authority said a crash happened near Mile Marker 240 just west of the Lewisdenack

exit where one of the semis was hauling diapers which spilled across the highway following the collision. Left more than a few drivers likely wishing they'd packed a diaper of their own. The crash resulted in minor injuries and with both westbound lanes closed, traffic needed to change. So a detour was put in place while crews took care of business to clear the scene and reopen the road. You know how sometimes there'll be like an armored truck that gets in an accident and there's money flying everywhere and people are going crazy trying to pick it up? That would be me if I saw a diaper truck flip over.

Yeah, they're so expensive. I could understand. Your husband going through a lot of diapers lately? Where size three? That's something that would benefit you greatly at this point in your life. Haul and diapers, huh? They ain't cheap. When my old man was still driving truck whenever anyone would ask him what he hauls,

he'd say everything from tinsel to tampons. A former Tennessee deputy watched his law enforcement career quietly unravel after trading his day job for a blowjob. An encounter that ended with him being fired for receiving oral sex in a courtroom. while on duty. Really? Yes. Well, then Josh, you could have got a couple people fired. Oh, no, wait.

They were masturbated. Yeah, they were just them by themselves. Yeah, that's right. It sounds like pretty hot stuff. A judge sitting behind his... No, not a judge. He's a deputy. A deputy.

Yeah, he was in a courtroom and got some moral. But it's not his fault, as you'll come to learn. Okay. No one else was in the room. He wasn't doing this during a hearing, was he? No. Okay. That would be pretty awesome.

That would be. It was a power move. Incredible to get away with that. Okay, but it wasn't his fault. No, it's not his fault. You'll understand. Last week, the Tennessee Peace Officer's Standards and Training Commission discussed the conduct of Lewis Hamlet,

debating whether Hamlet's future as a cop was to be or not to be. That was the question. You son of a bitch. According to a Shelby County Sheriff's Detective, Hamlet admitted he took part in consensual sexual activity with a female court clerk inside a courtroom, and it happened several times for the lucky bastard. Is that right?

At a hearing in Nashville, Hamlet told the panel he was still on the clock and wearing his uniform when he got the hot action. Although he insisted he wasn't the one who initiated the act, so it's not his fault. I just got two questions. Did you engage in oral sex inside of court? I didn't engage in oral sex. She engaged in oral sex. I received yes. It's a little tough to hear.

Dude, it's the same thing. No, it's not. It's a little tough to hear. So the question is, you know, I guess, is where he's trying to go with this is, Do you ever expect a man to walk away from a blowjob? When asked about the flagrant fallacio, Hamlet said, I didn't engage in oral sex. She engaged in oral sex.

I received it. It's her fault. Even so, investigators determined there was something rotten in the state of Tennessee, as the courtroom itself may have been empty during the encounters, but the courthouse remained open at the time, a detail that ultimately mattered and cost him his career, as the committee voted to strip Hamlet of his law enforcement license. That's too bad.

A police spokesman... What's this gal doing now? Yeah, you know, I don't know. They don't really talk about her too much. He gets to spend more time with her now that he doesn't have a job, I guess. A police spokesperson said the situation was investigated as a criminal case, but no charges were filed because the encounter was consensual, despite him saying it had nothing to do with him. That's a nice girlfriend. She forced to me.

Very giving. An elderly man is accused of shooting his son in the face because the son didn't visit the mother. while she was at home hospice care. 84-year-old William Noek was in his home in Palm Bay, Florida, where he lived with his wife and their disabled daughter. His wife had recently been put on in-home hospice care, and Williams had been taking care of both of them. According to investigators, his son and daughter-in-law came to the house

for their regular weekly visit about 6 p.m. William brought up the fact that they hadn't stopped by over the weekend, something that clearly weighed on him, and an argument soon broke out between the father, and son, and then came the warning. Get out of my house, or I'm going to shoot you, he told his son. And authorities said the threat wasn't rhetorical. Immediately after saying it, he walked into his bedroom and retrieved a handgun.

The son's wife followed him urging him to put the gun down, but he wouldn't listen, and he continued past her into the kitchen, where his son was about to get an eighth hole added to his face. Once there, he raised the handgun, aimed it at his son, and fired, striking him in the face. the victim's wife called 911 as he walked back into the bedroom, then returned moments later without the firearm. First responders arrived and provided emergency medical care before transporting the injured son to a hospital.

You got to look out for some of those old folks who feel like they ain't got nothing to lose. Yeah, he was disrespectful. They'll do it and they won't care. That guy took a bullet to the face and he's going to be okay. That's crazy. Yeah, that's something. His dad made his first court appearance on Thursday, and he's scheduled to be arranged.

next month. And better go visit him, otherwise you're going to have hell to pay once he gets out. Boy, you're right. Yeah, if he doesn't go see him in jail, he's in big, big trouble. A lot of those old folks that reach a point where they do not care about the repercussions of their actions. Now, I'm not saying anything nice about drunk driving because we all know drunk driving is terrible and it kills people. I never do it.

Get a friggin ride. But I know an old boy, he's been dead for years. Picked up a DWI. He was horribly drunk, horribly drunk. up at DWI when he was like 94 years old. And the cop said, yeah, I got to take you to jail. And the guy said, I don't care. So? That's a place to sleep. Whatever. Yeah, I mean, it gets a little iffy. It gets a little iffy with some of those old timers.

Yeah, suppose in this case he's 84, so a life sentence could be by the end of the week. You never know. He's not going to be in there too long. Monday night football tonight, the Pittsburgh Steelers, host the Miami Dolphins. The man who sired Dakota Johnson of the 50 Shades of Gray movies, Don Junk. Johnson, Sammy Crockett on Miami Vice, 76 today. Holland Food with the Midnight Moon Jesus would like to wish his smoking hot cougar wife, Dairy Princess Jesus, a happy birthday, and another happy birthday. This to a young member of the sisterhood, McKenna, turning the Big 08 today.

Happy birthday to you, and that's 93X News. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder on the half-ass morning show. Third down and four, Rivers, and he's got a man, touchdown. That's Josh Downs, and that's Philip Rivers with a touchdown pass. The 422nd touchdown pass of his career. I'll tell you what, that was so cool. That was cool. That was so cool to see Phil River back out there doing Phil River things.

Hello, Randy Schaber and I imagine also Brad Ryder. Good morning. Hey, good morning, yep. But the Colts lost. They lost by a couple of points. That's a tough place to win. Playing up there in Seattle. After the game, Phil said,

Phil said it wasn't about me. It wasn't about me. I'm trying to get this club, or we're trying to collectively get our asses into the playoff. But that was cool to see. So, Phil out there at 44 years old, he falls in line with Vinnie Testa Verde, and Steve DeBerg started NFL games at 44.

Still, the oldest quarterback to ever start a national football league game is the lunatic. Tom Brady. He was 45 years, 158 days old, followed by once you get out the top three, four. So a lunatic was the oldest test of Erdy DeBerg, Phil. Then you go Warren Moon. Warren Moon started a game at 44 years old. Wow. Doug Flutie, 42.

Wow. Karen, 42. Drew Brees, Earl Morrill, Brent Farb and George Blanda all started games at 41 years old. So that was really cool. And we'll see him again whenever the Colts play again, right? They're sticking with them. Oh, yeah.

Did anybody see the new theory of, why he kind of came out of retirement right now? No. So in the NFL, I guess, you get five years of health insurance after he retire. And he was on year five. And we all have talked about how he's got so many kids to take care of. So now they came back and played, that clock resets and he gets another five years of league provided health insurance. Well, that's a bonus.

That's for sure. What a scam. Yep. He's conning all of us. Just coming back once every five years. Yeah. What a... 63 and he's up there.

What a special day it is today. Yeah. Personally, it's day one of our Christmas ultimate F-off week. After this week, we'll be gone for a stretch of time so we can celebrate Christmas. But on a grander scale, this is something that all good Americans can appreciate and celebrate. The Kansas City Chiefs are friggin' done. Second down, 15. And deep and eaters.

And not the Chiefs out of the playoffs. First time in 11 seasons, the Chiefs will not be in the playoffs. So long, suckers, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Oh, man. Isn't that beautiful? Yeah? Yeah. No complaints over here.

I didn't think so. I didn't think so. The door's open, Bradrider. I think the Super Bowl is wide open. I think both sides, AFC, NFC, it's a free-for-all right now. And Mahomes had his ACL come off. He did, unfortunately. Is that right?

Didn't wish that on him. That and Micah Parsons. Micah Parsons is going to be out for the season with a torn ACL. Green Bay will still probably make the playoffs, but that hurts their chances to go deep, I think. Everyone's ACL is coming loose. Randy Schaever, when you said about Patrick Mahomes, ACL injury, when you said I didn't want to see that happen,

Ashley kind of looked at me. To see what you would say? Well, no, no. She kind of looked at me with the facial expression that tells me that she did want that to happen. Oh, you did not. I'm not sad about it. She's not sad.

That's not nice. It's one thing to not make the playoffs. It's another thing to be hurt. Wish he'll will on come on. Oh, no, I didn't pray for it to happen, but I'm not going to cry about it. She's not going to shed a tear. Not sending a card or anything? She's going to sleep just fine tonight.

Wow, man. With dry eyes. He may not be back for the start of next season. No, he won't be back. I'm looking at Ashley. Okay, she looks pleased by that. She kind of smiled a little bit. Oh, man.

The last time the AFC championship game did not feature the lunatic or Patrick Mahomes was all the way back in 20 and 10. Wow. It's going to be nice. That's crazy. I just feel so relaxed. You can sit back and enjoy the playoffs. Yeah.

I can enjoy myself. I get it. I get it. All right. I can't say that I. Yes, Bradrider? No, I was just going to say the door is open for Dana's bills. Another big comeback yesterday.

Wow. Yeah, that was insane. I saw your story on Instagram, Dana, I think it was like they were losing by 24 at that point or something. 24 to 3, I think, because when I posted something. Yeah, and I was like, oh, that's too bad. And the next thing I know, I had. I was like, what is going on? Yeah, Josh just said, all right, screw it.

I'll do it myself. Yeah. Oh, is that what happened? Typical. Yeah. And he did. All right, I did not pay terribly close attention to the Vikings' Cowboys Sunday night matchup. I know that the Vikings emerged from that unbelievable battle with a win, 34 to 26.

although before they even took the field, I believe they were eliminated from any chance of a playoff appearance because the Chicago Bull, what do they call that team? Bears? The Chicago Bears beat Cleveland. So you guys tell me about last night's ball game. Well, first of all, I thought that J.J. McCarthy played pretty well for the most part. He and Justin Jefferson just cannot get on the same page.

and it's very frustrating to watch, especially if you are a fantasy football person who has Jefferson as a first-round draft choice. It's just been a miserable year in so many ways. But they just couldn't get on the same page. But their defense played well. They did some really nice things last night. You know, this is a test run now, these last four games,

because the pressure's off. They're not going anywhere. actually losing probably helps them a little bit in the draft position, but they're running a test run here on McCarthy. Can he handle all these situations? And I think you'll see them go for fourth down and six and not settle for field goals to give him opportunities to play in different situations. Last night was a success, but there's still a long way to go.

and if he can prove himself over the last four or five games, then that allows these guys to go out and spend money on other positions, which they need to do, to come back next year with a better football team. If they have to go out and find a quarterback, a starting quarterback, that's different, and that takes away from, you know, the resources they would need to build other positions. So it's a very important time for the Vikings right now.

Yeah, McCarthy, I mean, J.J. McCarthy played well. I think the defense was better in the second half. I also don't want to take away from the fact that was the, I think it was the eighth game that season, the Cowboys have given up 30 plus points. Their defense is historically bad. So let's see if, you know, he can continue this over the last, you know, two, three games of the season. But, you know, if he wouldn't have played well against the defense like that, you'd have to have some real big, big red flags come up. But he did play well. So, I mean, give him credit for that. Sure. Let's take it with a little bit of a grain of salt because that defense is literally historically bad. I don't think there's ever, they put up a couple of graphics last night that

there's never been a team that's given up 30 plus points that many times in a season. Yeah, but they play, but Brad, they have played better since they made the trades. And so that's why they were in the position, Dallas I'm talking about, in the position to even have a chance to make the playoffs heading into the game last night. So they have played better. They were at home. I mean, this easily could have been a game McCarthy could have, you know, shrunk and not played well and not done good things.

And I'm not sitting here and saying he's the future and he's a great franchise player. I don't think he is right now. But that's what the Vikings have to find out. They have to figure out. what are we going to do in the offseason? And is quarterback a necessity? Yes, it is for a veteran to get a backup in here. Right.

But do they need to go out and find a starter? And the answer is at least after last night, the answer seems to be no. Yes. The answer is yes. I think he's done enough for this organization, meaning the guys who are in charge, I think he's already done enough to make them think that he is. Oh, they're so in love with him. Whether the rest of us believe it or not, I don't know.

But I think for those guys, I think he's probably done enough. Here's also the thing. Oh, here we go. If the Vikings end up in last place in the division, which likely they will, their schedule next year is going to be the fourth. It's going to be against losing teams, right? It's going to be a lesser schedule. That, you know, you consider that for next year for McCarthy. So, I mean, that's a positive.

I'm laughing. I'm laughing because I'm looking at the standing. There is a way that they don't finish last. I mean, if they beat Detroit and Detroit goes in the toilet. Yeah. Well. Did you hear all the talk over the weekend about trading for Joe Burrough? That'd be cool.

Oh, that would be so sweet. That would be amazing. I've heard that, but then I look at the other side, like, well, if this guy that we drafted is so great, why are we even exploring that? You have to give up on that idea. That's what they have to do. They have to give up on JJ and admit that they made the wrong decision. So that was the big rumor I heard all weekend long. I don't know, Nick, if you have to give up on the idea.

I think if a great offer comes along, it's not really giving up on McCarthy. It's taking advantage of an opportunity to sign a bona fide superstar in Joe Burrow. I mean, what will they have to give up? You'd have to give up McCarthy plus a bunch of other things. Yeah. That was the big topic a few people brought up over the weekend. By the way, back to Patrick Mahomes hurting himself in yesterday's game. Lost Prevention Jesus texted in and said there was a picture on Facebook of Patrick Mahomes being walked to the locker room.

And the caption said, if you cheer for this, you're sick. Lost Prevention, Jesus says, well, then call an ambulance because I'm as sick as a dog. Sorry, not sorry. Here's an example of the Viking schedule next year if they do finish last. They would play the Cardinals. They would play the Saints. They would play the Giants. They would play the Raiders.

They would play the Titans. That would make anybody look good. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, there's a chance for a quick turnaround next year. But you still got to play six games in the division against three teams that are bona fide playoff teams. Right. Right. But all you have to do is win two of those games.

and win the other ones and you've got yourself a good season. And I, you know, again, I think that once they figure things out here at the end of this year, it looks like they're going to move forward with McCarthy. Oh, God, that's disgusting. Also, you know, there are articles being written about, and we love this, you know, we get a lot of this, bringing back somebody. That's the recurring theme. Yes, that happens in Minnesota all the time.

cousins bringing back Sam Darnold, bringing back Indiana Jones. So we can do this all frigging day long, you know. All frigging day long. What else happened in yesterday's? Oh, by the way, speaking of Joe Burra, it says here he reportedly cut off his own cast after he had toe surgery. Doesn't everybody do that? They can't stand having a cast on after a while.

I thought so. And they saw it off in the garage after they've had six or seven beers. much. I've never worn a cast, but I hear that it's miserable, and everyone ends up removing it before the doctors say so. That's what I've heard. Yeah, me too.

You guys ever worn a cast, anybody? Never, thankfully. No. No. I had one, but it was removable. It was for my hand. I broke my hand, and it was just one you could slide on and off and then wrap it with a nace bandage. So Burra had some cute little toe surgery, and it says the doctors told them to keep the cast on

until this certain date, but he cut it off himself so we could get back to working on football. I thought everybody cut their own cast off. I think part of the Joe Burrow conversation, too, is that he and Justin Jefferson played together in college. Oh, yeah. There's that connection, too. And so I think, you know, there, I mean, I'm not saying this is happening, but maybe behind the scenes, you know, at some point, Justin Jefferson might go to Quasi and say, hey, might want to explore this a little bit. He's my guy.

Sounds like Brad says it's happening. Brad says what's happening? The Joe Burrow trade. There might be some smoke there. I like smoke. Let's inhale the smoke. Three clubs yesterday put 40 points or more on the board. Jacksonville, Houston, and the L.A. Rams.

Denver beat Green Bay. Brad was saying something last night about Denver going to the Super Bowl. They very well could. right now they have the number one seat in the AFC and they'd have home field all the way to the Super Bowl. I'd have no problem with that Dolphin Stillers. There's 7 and all at home this year. Dolphin Stillers tonight on Monday Night Football.

Big game for Pittsburgh. Former Pro Bowl Center for the Buffalo Bills has admitted to, quote, violently pooping his pants during an NFL game. The funniest thing that I think I can talk about with fitting names is I, in 2023, I was feeling a little under the weather, so I got two IVs, and they called ringer bag, so it's extra salt. And I'm in a play action pass in the fourth quarter, and I just deuce my pants quickly and violently. And I just run off the field violently.

And they somehow know. And I go into the concussion tent, and I've had a bunch of concussions in my career. So my family's, like, freaking out. And then I come out, play a game later. And they called it a wardrobe malfunction. So if you ever see something that says a wardrobe malfunction on a report about a medical thing, that's someone who dused their pants. That's interesting information.

I wondered they were wearing the white pants that day or not, you know. Oh, God. That makes it worse. Mitch Morse pooped himself. God, I bet you that happens more often than you think. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I mean, you don't have to be a professional athlete to your pants. Amateurs do it, too. Some people do it in backpacks. Some people do it into their backpack. But we're talking about legitimately letting it ride into your pants. I mean, you were able to open a backpack. Right, yeah. Amateurs do it sometimes while playing hacky sack.

Wow. Hacky sack. Accidents do happen. Yes. Yes. Your friendly neighborhood garbage man. just send an emoji of someone raising their hand. He's been there.

Ah, man. This Sharon Moore dude, the former University of Michigan football coach, whose behavior has tossed his life into a trash can. Damn, there was a story that popped up over the weekend that was a lot of fun to read about. But eventually, it was found to be a false social media story.

Did you hear the fake story? Did not. It's entertaining. There's a lot of stories out there about this right now. This one would stand out. This was apparently proven to be false. The story was that Sharon Moore offered only fans models, season tickets to minors.

to Michigan football games in exchange for a foursome after they won the golf event? No, no, no. Yeah, like the forsums you give away, Randy, at your event. A fursom or a golf event? After winning the national championship game one or two years ago, whenever the hell Michigan won the national championship game. The word, the story was that he and the Michigan team were partying at a hotel in Houston after that ballgame and Moore started calling up only fans women.

Specifically one, Mia, where is it, Josh? Sauridi? Mia Sordi. Sorati. Never heard of her. Anyway, I guess it is true that Sharon Moore and this only fans gal, Mia Soridi, have some kind of relationship, but the story of him calling around looking for a foursome

was just some social media puk bag trying to, make things worse. At this point, I kind of believe any story that came out, I think, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Well, a lot of people ran with it because it was a former assistant of Mias that put that out there, so they assumed she probably knows. Yeah. Moore is up against more allegations of misconduct beyond his high-profile suspected affair

with that gal that he worked with. At least two other women have lodged complaints with the U.S. University in the past couple of days, accusing more of making unwanted advances toward them during his tenure. The words they used in the story are not good, words like persistent, unwelcome, and discomforting. What do you think of the idea of John Gruden becoming the next sleazy head coach of the University of Michigan's football program? Saw right up on that. Do you remember John Gruden? Yeah, unfortunately. I'd say no. I don't worry about it.

Yeah. Don't worry about it, son. University of Indiana quarterback Fernando Mendoza, who helped the Hoosiers to their first number one ranking, top seed in the 12-team college football playoff thingy. He won the Heisman trophy on Saturday night. The winner of the 2025 Heisman Trophy is Fernando Mendoza. I want every kid out there who feels overlooked, underestimated, to know I was you.

I was that kid too. I was in your shoes. The truth is, you don't need the most stars, hype, or rankings. You just need discipline, heart, and people who believe in you. And you need to believe in your own abilities. I hope this moment shows you that chasing your dreams are worth it, no matter how big or impossible they seem. God bless, go Hoosiers. Thank you guys all.

There he is. Indiana's first Heisman trophy winner. Yeah. That's one instance. I know we make fun of the fact where people say, oh, nobody believed in me.

That's one instance where it's absolutely true. No way he heard about this guy two years ago. Yep. Correct. He's won all kinds of other awards, the Associated Press Player of the Year, something called the Maxwell Award, something called the Davey O'Brien Award.

This dude is going to drown in a sea of ass before it's all said and done. He seems like a pretty wholesome kid. Ashley liked his style. We ran some audio of him after they beat. Who did they beat? That was such a big deal. Ohio State.

Didn't we run some audio of him just goofing? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's just a goofball. It's hilarious. He's crying. He seems much more composed than that. He thanked his mom in his speech, and he called her mommy, which I kind of find that kind of off-putting.

That's cute. I love it. Just being, like, funny? No. Consider his mother, though, in the situation. His mother has MS. Oh, I didn't know that. She's been a huge person in his life.

Well, now I want to go walk off a bridge. Yeah. There's a lot of underlying family things with the Mendoza's and just her strength and what she's meant to those two brothers. Dana's looking at his feet and he's just walking. Where are you going? Oh, he's throwing an invisible rope over an invisible beam and putting an invisible noose around his neck.

Yeah, dude, you can call it whatever you want, man. I apologize. The University of Georgia is in the college football tournament thingy, right? I believe so. I thought I read that University of... Well, maybe they aren't. I don't know. I don't have it in front of me.

I'm sorry. I'm going to go along with it. I can look here, though. Let me just look. Yeah, you go ahead and look. Oh, yeah, it says right here they play... I'm sure they are. Yeah, they play the winner.

They won the SEC. They play the winner of Mississippi Tulane in the tournament, okay? Yep, yep. Two of their players, Georgia, University of Georgia, two of their players have made themselves out to be total jackasses. I'm not sure, but you'd think that they might have to sit out their upcoming playoff game for acting like this. Starting freshman offensive lineman, Don Trell Glover. and running back

Bo Walker and they're both regular contributors to the first string unit they were arrested last Friday for a shoplifting Oh God Are you kidding?

In this day and age of NIL You have to go shoplift something They were caught trying to steal a seal CD From a... Twins, Josh. I read it was a California raisin doll Yeah One of them had a seal CD.

CD, the other head. I don't know what the hell they were trying to steal, but they were caught for shoplifting as they're leading up to this playoff tournament. What do you make of this? This must be Division 2 or Division 3 football. Tarleton State. Never heard of them. Can someone, I think they're in Texas. Texas. But is it D2? I think that's D2. Whatever North Dakota plays. D2. It's deep. Well, it's one double A then, right? Yeah, because they knocked out North Dakota last week in the playoffs. The FCS. There it is.

Yeah, yeah. It's something like that. Okay. They've got a running back, well, they used to, on Tarleton State by the name of Tray Page the third. Wow, that's a cool name. They were playing Villanova the other day. Villanova was up two at halftime. And this Tarleton, well, no, that's the school.

This Trey Page the third officially entered the transfer portal at halftime. Had enough, huh? I mean, that's not the right way to go about it, isn't it? Not a good look. Such a mess. Maybe doing the bus after the game on the way back to campus, but... Don't you finish out the game for your teammates and the fans? He sent out a statement on social media at halftime,

saying he was all done playing at Tarleton State. Thanks, everybody. What? Awful. Goodbye. It's so odd. Yeah. I mean, what perspective coach is going to take a kid like that?

That's just awful. Took a walk. That's hilarious. I love that. They have got to find a better way to do this. It's just not a good thing. It's totally out of control. And one of the problems is that the college football season goes so long

that there's got to be a reasonable amount of time for players to make a change so that they can get themselves into a different school, I'm assuming, by January, to leave one school and to start in January. Well, the problem is the college football season goes almost to February, which is, again, ridiculous in its own way, but that's part of the issue is just the timing of all this. So what a mess. It works well for smaller schools, Division 2 and 3 schools,

because they're not going to bowl games in December. But it's where it's a mess is with the Division 1 schools. Some of them are not a lot, not as many, I guess I should say. But yeah, the whole calendar is off a little bit where, I mean, your point is valid. I mean, we see it even here. We're trying to get kids into school in January, and that's why the point. The portal is open as early as it is. Yeah, and for the gophers, they're going to a December 26th bowl game or whatever.

Well, right after the season ends, they've got like five guys declaring they're going into the portal. It's just like... Or a lot more. How can you practice or prepare yourself when you've got guys that just decide after the season, they're not going to be a part of it? It's just so stupid. The whole thing is just makes it so difficult. I understand.

It also makes it difficult to be a good fan too because you follow these teams, especially college, and then these guys decide before your season's even over that they're going to leave. It's just like what? And for what? It's really not sometimes for playing time. It's because they're following the money.

The pigs absolutely curb stomped the Boston Bruins yesterday at their home rink. couple power play goals, zero empty net goals, which I'm not able to say very often. The new guy. I love this. What a great deal. Got one of the goals.

They've won four in a row. The Washington Capitals play here tomorrow night. Yeah, over the weekend. He's in. He's gone. Welcome to Minutes. Over the weekend, you love the deal, Randy Shaver. Well, I mean, everything, and I don't know hockey that well, but everything I read is that both teams made out really,

well on this. The Wilde got themselves a superstar, a legitimate NHL superstar. But they gave up a lot, too. They gave up. Here's a good example of a general manager who drafts really well. Bill Garron gave up three first round draft picks, basically, players that they took in the first round. I mean, if you don't hit on those guys, you don't get the chance to make a trade like this, right? Sure. If you don't do your job right. You don't do your job right. You don't get a chance to do this. And Bill Guerin not only gets to do it, but has the Cajonas to do it and make a trade and bring in a guy like Quinn Hughes.

Here's the deal. all I heard over the weekend was excited comments. But then Josh brought up, he heard some folks going the other way with it. And now I'm mainly getting negative text messages about it. Yeah, at first it was all very excited. Yeah, people were saying, well, shoot, I think we gave up too much for him. And if they don't win this year and he doesn't sign a longer deal, it was a complete cluster. I think he's going to sign a longer deal because he's, he's, he's,

he's made that pretty clear that he's open to doing that. And the reason why is the Wild is the only team that can give him a max deal in July after the season. So I don't think you make a deal like this unless you've had a few conversations with the agent before you make the trade and say, hey, is this guy willing to maybe play here? And obviously there's no guarantees. But if he's if he's going to waffle or go, I'm not sure, well, then you don't make the deal. Gary, Garen says something really interesting, maybe not yesterday, but the day before, in that when you make trades like this, the players go for the good hockey. They go where the hockey is the best.

Yeah, you may be living in Florida and it's 80 degrees. Yeah, you may be making more money. But if the hockey's not good enough, then chances are you're not happy. and the point is the hockey's really good here. It's a great hockey town, as we all know, great hockey state. And the team's really good. They are. And Hughes is leaving a program that's really struggling,

and he gets a chance to play in the prime of his career with great players in Minnesota with a chance to take them to the next level. There's just a lot of really good things there. So what I'd heard about him maybe leaving is that if he had an opportunity to play with his brothers in New Jersey, that he might go do that. Well, apparently the Devils had a crack. But they have to put a deal together that's better than what Bill Garron did. And they didn't do that. Nobody did.

The Devils could have sent Vancouver the other two brothers and really threw a damn monkey. Wait a minute. As he's flying towards New Jersey, his brother's. You mean I have to go New Jersey without my brothers? Yeah. So in case you're totally in the dark, this Quinn Hughes kid is a pass Norris trophy winner, and that means you're the best defenseman in the league. The pigs made a trade with Vancouver.

For him, they had to send Marco Rossi, they had to send Liam Ogren. They had to send this new defenseman, this Zeve Bweem, whatever the hell is a talented kid out of Denver. They had to send them all to the Canucks in return. And a draft choice. and a draft choice. But Hughes is a player. I'm certainly more familiar with Jack. You know, when people, obviously, we've talked about Quinn Hughes before on this program.

We must have. We won the Norris Trophy a couple years ago. When the name originally came up, I said, well, don't you mean Jack Hughes? I can't, you know, so it's not a guy who's really been on my radar. We all even kind of shared that earlier. It didn't exactly make us fall out of our bottom. bar stools because we had to kind of go, oh, okay, that guy, you know. Quinn Hughes has been with Vancouver his entire eight-year career.

He currently leads all-NHL defensemen this season in assists in power play points. He's second among all defensemen in points. And think about that for a team that's in last place. He's made an all-star team once or twice. He'll supposedly be playing for Team USA in this year upcoming Olympic tournament. So most pig spans are pretty pumped about the deal, but we have heard some people on the other side. Well, yeah, they gave up a lot.

But that blue line now is pretty stacked. With Faber and Hughes. Faber, Hughes, you got to throw in Brodeen, you got to throw in Spurgeon, along with solid goaltending. They're going to be tough. Yeah. The pigs are going to be tough. They just have to stay healthy.

That's going to be the number one thing. You could say that for every team. but certainly for the wild. It was like when Luca Donchich got traded. Hey, Luca got traded. You mean Luca Garza? Well, he got traded too. No, Luca Donchich.

Speaking of the Olympics, Snoop Dog has been named the first honorary coach of Team USA for the upcoming Winter Olympics, which means nothing. But the television networks and sponsors for the Olympics, they just can't get enough of Snoop Dog. Yeah, nobody can. They can't get enough of them.

so you'll see him a lot here in a month or whenever the couple months a couple months away when he did the last Olympics kind of the similar role of just commentating there was a viral tweet that went got spread around somebody said my mom just texting me and said oh my gosh stoop dog is so funny on the Olympics and I had to remind her mom you grounded me because I bought his CD with a parental advisory in high school

he had changed man yeah a lot of moms grounded their kids over there Yeah. This is a little tough to follow. A minor league hockey club out there in Wisconsin. You know, they dump gimmick after gimmick out there for every game in minor league hockey and minor league baseball that try to get asses in the seats. Here's the latest. A couple nights ago, the Madison Capitals of the United States Hockey League, they decided to play off of the absolutely hilarious online theory that birds aren't real, right? You know the theory?

Birds aren't real. This is great. their government robot spies, that whole bit. So they decided to, so for one night to try and get people to come to their hockey game, the Madison Capitol switched their name to the Madison surveillance swans. Their jerseys had a big swan on it with a camera eye or something. Yeah, they're up on 93x.com. Do you want to look at them?

Their surveillance. That's hilarious. Swans. Timberwolves and Sack Mental Kings played some really bad basketball. Yeah, got your text. Oh, it was bad at times. I was ready to jump in. I think we could have put together seven guys that could have played a prettier game of basketball in the first half than what the wolves had going.

But in the end, they pulled away and they got a 14-point win. No Edwards, no kids. Connolly, Jr., I'm hoping for more information on this because I'm kind of worried. Rudy Gobert left suddenly in the third quarter. For personal reasons. And his reason for bowing out of the rest of the game was reported as personal reasons. Diarrhea. Yeah, that might be it.

See, I right away. Yeah, I hope it was just diarrhea because right away I'm thinking, oh, Christ, somebody died. Yeah. That's twice this morning, Dana. You've come off completely insensitive. I hope he's stepping onto the imaginary stool again. What if somebody died? Uh-oh, he's hanging himself with his mic cord.

I hope everything's okay with the Rudy Gobert. Next up, they play the Memphis Grizzlies at home tomorrow night. Ooh, John Moran. I love John Moran. It was a struggle last night. Keep them here if you want to. You know, I'd be fine with that. Nice.

It was a terrible-looking basketball game at times. Yeah. So, but they made it out alive. Ever since we had the discussion last week about Kobe White, I'm now paying attention to the Bulls a little bit more. They've, this lost again the other day. They are out of the playoff picture right now in the east. Come on, let's make that deal.

Oh. Let's get Kobe White. I like Kobe White. A couple of people are texting in saying that Rudy Gobert had a baby? I thought they already did. I thought they had a baby. You could have pulled in Anthony Edwards. Oh, yeah, baby.

There's another, the third insensitive. Oh, gosh. If he left every single. You're on a roll, dude. What did he say? Well, it could have been different baby mamas. Just because he just recently had a baby, it doesn't mean you didn't have somebody else pregnant.

Oh, I thought he was married. Well, I guess maybe. Oh, my, yeah, I got a cousin who had three women pregnant in one year. That's ridiculous. Yeah, that's called the triple crown. That's so, bitch. Does he have any money left? He loves to bump.

I guess so. My cousin, he loves to bump. Okay. I did not hear that this morning. I was still worried about Rudy. But, yeah, people are saying that some female had his baby. I don't know who it was. His wife, I don't know.

Oh, what else is going on before we take a walk here? Gentlemen. Jorge Polanco, former twin terrific switch. Yeah, good for him. Great hitter. Great fielder. Yeah. Was the big hero for the Mariners?

It was. This past playoff. I feel bad for him. He's headed to play for the Mets. He's going to replace Pete Alonzo at first base for the Mets. Is he big and strong enough to do that, do you think? Well, probably not now, but he's making 20 mil a year. Oh, good for him.

I think he's pretty happy. 20 mil is great. Yeah. Two years, $40 million. Playing for the Mets always turns out badly for everybody. When you play for the Mets, things end badly. Well, they have lately. Yeah.

They've invested a lot of money and I've gotten little in return. Jorge Polanco. Solid player. Yeah. I always like watching him play. Do you see Suno signed with a Japanese team? What? He's going over to Japan.

I thought we were going to get him to play some first base. No, he's going to go play in Japan. Good for him. He'll be at a Mr. Big Tribute show by the end of the week. They're going to play there every night, sold out. Unfrigan believable. Okay. Yeah.

There goes Miguel Senaud of Japan. And finally, what, John Sina's gone ahead and retired from wrestling, huh? Sure did. He's all done. John Sina, what that's packed out. Here is your winner by submission. Go! Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, professional wrestling,

destroyed sports entertainment. What does he mean by that? Who the hell's Gunther? Some big old strong dude who put John Cena like nine sleeper holds until he finally tapped out. What did Michael Cole say? What did he say there? Professional wrestling destroyed sports entertainment. What does that mean?

I don't really know either. I was confused in the moment as well when I heard it live. Did you watch the match? Oh, of course I watched the match, yeah. Did you dress up his dog? Yeah, I dressed up the dog. I dressed up in senior gear. Yes, I cried Ashley.

Yes, my wife went to Denver intentionally because she didn't want to be around me during John Cena's final match. That's smart. These are all things that happened. It's a big weekend for you at the John Cena match and the bills come back. Oh, it was a stressful weekend, Brad, it really was. Yeah. Did anyone in the rings say, I'm sorry.

I love you. They did not. But I was at that match in Orlando, Florida. It was cool. They had a bunch of old-timers come out like Undertaker and HBK. They all surrounded the ring and, you know, gave him an ovation. He left his high tops and hands. his armbands in the ring, the middle of the ring.

He'll be back for SummerSlam then? No, he's not coming back. You don't think so? No, I really don't. And he said it multiple times in many interviews that this is it. I'm not coming back. It would be unfair to the guys that are still wrestling if I were to come back and headline to WrestleMania because it would just take away all the attention and shove the

card down and everybody to go down the slot. He's not coming back. All right. Well, there you go. Can I make one little comment before we go about? I just want to salute Paul Wigan this morning. Paul Wiggin was the former Vikings defensive line coach from 1985 to 91. He was with the organization for over 40 years.

Had a chance to be around Paul Wiggin for many years. He coached John Elway at Stanford. He is a National Football Foundation Hall of Fame member. He died on Friday at the age of 91. And there's a lot of people in the Vikings organization who just absolutely love Paul Wigan for the things that he did with this organization and who he was and what he represented. There's a nice article about him on ESPN.com this morning. But I just wanted just a salute to Paul Wiggan. And you don't get people like him very often that stay with an organization.

for 40 years in different roles because Paul was a coach, he was a scout, he did so many different things in the Vikings organization, but he was truly one of those just super nice guys that always had time. And I just sad that he's passed away, but man, what a legacy. I'm sorry to hear that.

Paul Wigan. Work for the Vikes back in the 80s. So who was he working under defense? Who was that bald defensive coordinator that was so good for many years? Oh, Peters. Floyd Peters. Floyd Peters.

I'll be damned. Well, there you go. Thanks, gentlemen. You bet. The 93X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early.

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Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. Providing the comfort you deserves since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bealky. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. suffer call bialke law today 763 571 2410 or go to bialkylaw.com that's b ia lk-e-l-elaw dot com and it spells relief for you hi i'm joe sal see hi host of the stacking benjamin's

podcast you know what a lot of us get taxes wrong filing your taxes is basically data entry there's been this trend of people going oh it's so cool to file my taxes in august it's so awesome don't worry i have an extension it'll be fine i like totally Totally do it later. Stop. Do your friggin taxes now. That was a really good fashion voice. Did you like it?

You do that more frequently, please? Yes, every show from now. We'll be like that. Stacking Benjamin's, follow and listen on your favorite platform. Dr. P. Jesus. The 93X Half-Assed Morning Show. Excellent. Absolutely terrific.

It's 829. We're back here on the 93X Half-Hast Morning Show. We appreciate you listening quite a bit. We've got one of our closest bros here to help us bring this pig the rest of the way. It's Dr. Dam P. Jesus. A real doctor and all that. If you have a question, you can reach us by text message

at the number 651-989-93-93. Hello, James. Hello. How you been here? Doing well surviving the early winter cold snap. Yeah, bit chilly. The last couple of days were brutal. They really have been.

Oh, yeah. Absolutely brutal, but it's over, at least temporarily. Things will be, let me ask you something. I know we've got listeners who have texted in and we want to get to as many questions as possible. But selfishly, I'd like to ask you, can concussion symptoms be seen in the eyes? Hmm. I thought that's where they started. Can they check the...

Yeah, they check the right. They put the little flashlight. Yeah, I mean, you, basically, you can check pupillary reflexes, which is... It's always the eyes. I mean, basically, if your pupils aren't reacting normally, you have a bad head injury. Okay, well, then look at Cubby. and look into his eyes because he was motorboated hard. I was attacked on Friday at Rick's Cabaret.

Boobies. Everything went well. It was an orchestrated attack. There were a bunch of people. Some bad actors paid a dancer to come over and attack my face with her breasts. We had a wonderful time at Rick's Cabaret Friday. And we can't even begin to thank our listeners for the amount of toys they brought, for the good times they brought to us Friday at Rick's Cabaret.

But there was an incident. and that incident was Josh being motorboated so hard I thought you were going to come out of your chair. You came, you looked like a boxer getting just punched around in the corner. My face was a speed bag. And she attacked it like six times. Dr. P, they were not real. I was going to say, what were they filled with? They were quite large.

They were quite large, not real, which adds a little bit of punch, right? God, I'd love to see a slow motion video of that. Oh, like a gif of Josh getting a motorboat. And I was just curious if you saw anything in his eyes, it would lead you to believe that he has any kind of head trauma. I'd have to go over it closer. Okay. Can you follow my finger?

There it goes. Dr. Pete? No, no. I mean, pretty much if you have a concussion bad enough that you're having pupillary reflex problems or extra ocular motion, you know. Right. You did the side-to-side finger up and down. I mean, that means you've got like a brain injury.

I did vomit. You really did? No, no. But I was very uncomfortable. He was so nervous to say the least. I mean, right, that's like, that's physical discomfort and emotional discomfort, I assume. Before we move on to questions from our listing audience, this was such a Josh moment where afterwards, you know, there are some guys who go to the boom room and have that happen to have that happened. there are some guys that go to the boom boom

and have that gimmick thrown at them 20, 30 times in a night, right? The motorboat party, the gal sitting on your lap and destroying you. Most of those guys don't think anything of it. After that happened, I want to remind folks that Josh said this out loud. He said, well, I didn't wake up this morning

planning on cheating on my wife. I also was groped. I forgot to mention. You really were. He was by me, though. What did she grab on you? You know what a penis is? I've heard of it.

She really did? She sat on my lap and I have my phone in my pocket and I said, hey, by the way, that's my phone you're sitting on. And she's like, oh, so then this is your, and she said a real naughty word. Jeez. For male genitalia. Is that standard treatment at a place like Rick's or were you getting special delivery?

I'm not 100% sure. I don't know either. They'll grab your wad. Really? I did not know that, Covey. I'm sorry because I know that. this kind of thing is going to stick with you in a negative way until the day that you die. But I'm sure you were not a willing participant.

So that, in my opinion, absolves you of all, you know. She just, she just, she, she whooped his ass. Okay. She did. Questions from our listening audience for Dr. P. Jesus. And thank you for texting in. Can a player catch pneumonia? How does he say this?

Our boss has had pneumonia for a couple of weeks now. Oh. the company says it's not contagious should I stay away from the sum bitch couple of weeks do you I'm sure you know about when yeah something like that is contagious and when it isn't there's a there's a time frame right yeah I mean it sort of depends what you have I mean most so the big difference is does the person have a viral infection or a bacterial infection oh I mean viral is usually you know that's what a cold is that's what COVID is that's what the flu is so a lot of acute respiratory illnesses are viral.

And they tend to be very, very easily passed to each other. Yeah. Especially in the early phases. Nomania, when, typically when you get diagnosed with pneumonia, it's more of a focal infection in the lung that is from bacteria. And that can happen often after a viral infection. But if you, so by the time you get diagnosed with pneumonia and it's bacterial, that's not something that is as transmissible.

So, I mean, I'm not sure if that helps because... Well, I can tell you my son had it and nobody else in the house got it. Yeah. But I mean, once the doctor said, this is pneumonia, I did kind of jump and run to the other room. Yeah, so it's sort of like... So if someone's diagnosed with pneumonia today, it's more likely you would have gotten something from them maybe a week or two ago when they had probably a viral infection and they were earlier in their illness.

That's not to say it's not possible. I mean, there are viral pneumonia's. But yeah, just, and so some of it's just like the nomenclature when people, I mean, bronchitis is typically viral. It can be bacterial. So sometimes people just leave a doctor's office and they say I have pneumonia. They may have a viral infection. But yeah, I'd say, that's funny that the company is saying it's not contagious, but get to work.

Right. So yeah, I would, so it really depends exactly what's being diagnosed. Okay. But yeah, stay away from the guy. I mean, it's probably better, yeah, usually. You got an excuse to stay away from the boss. Exactly right. Don't call me, don't text me.

It could come through the, I don't take any chances anymore. I don't take any chances. You know, it's, it's, I mean, if COVID taught us anything, I think it is to be, it's not unreasonable to expect people to keep their distance when they're sick or wear, I mean, God forbid, wear a mask. Because we, you know, prior to that, in this country, at least we, people would just go to work, go to the mall, go to the grocery store, coughing and hacking. Yeah, sure. I think other countries have embraced taking responsibility for preventing, spreading your own disease to other people better. But you still don't see too many people wearing masks.

And it is, I think you just are more startled when you hear someone coughing in public now. Yeah. Dude, what are you doing? I get so angry. I get pissed off. comes around me and they're sick and they're like, oh, yeah, I'm just not feeling great. Why are you near me? Right.

It's allergy. We had somebody over the weekend, too, that was like coughing and sneezing like crazy at our house. I thought, ah, for God's sakes. Right. Yeah, you used to not think much of it. And I used to think unless you're on your deathbed, you should go to work. And now that's completely, if somebody comes in here and sniffles, it's like, why are you here, get out of here? You need one of those, that game taboo?

Do you remember that game? Oh, yeah, I love that. The buzzer. You just have that buzzer for a lot of things, but that would be. one of them like you're leaving right I mean didn't you guys feel the same like oh yeah unless you you just can't even move and that's kind of the same I mean even then you should have maybe come into work right do something I used to come to work sick we've all come to work sick now I would never do it and when someone does it I get angry there what are you doing here there were times we were

here and like as soon as the commercial started we're throwing up in right in garbage cans that's true we used to barf in garbage games oh boy okay Bacon, loving craft beer snob, Jesus said I'm 39. I work in drywall for a living. Broke my wrist when I was 16. Every now and again, it doesn't happen very often, but the wrist starts throbbing like a mother waffer. It gets sore and feels like there's no strength,

but it goes away after a couple days, and then it's months before it happens again. Is there a particular reason why this is happening and anything I can do for a remedy as I were? Well, okay, so broke it at 16. And he says 39 now. Yeah. I mean, oftentimes when you break a wrist, the classic mechanism is the fush,

fall on outstretched hand. And that's just the mechanism. Is there a fush bag? I have not heard of that. Okay. But often with that, you will also get ligament injuries or cartilage injuries. Because depending on what you mean by broken wrist, it usually means. the end of the arm is broken.

Sometimes it can mean a small bone in the wrist, the scaphoid was broken, and occasionally that's not recognized at the time. It's a notoriously sneaky little fracture that is often not visible on an x-ray initially, but if you have persistent pain and it's not addressed,

basically because of the anatomy, the blood supply is not fantastic to that bone, and the bone can kind of shrink or scar and so he could have had some sort of injury like that that would cause persistent pain. More than likely, if it hasn't been chronic, it's some kind of a ligament injury that happened. It's usually over the most common areas,

the side of the wrist over towards the pinky. It's called the triangular, boy, triangulofibro cartilage complex. You know, you can mispronounce these names. We would know. Yeah, we wouldn't know. That's why we usually call it the T.F. CC. But it's just a complex of ligaments and cartilage that, you know, I mean, the wrist is two rows of

bones that have unbelievable amount of flexibility. So I'd say if it's something that intermittently bothers, it's probably not that old scaphoid injury because that usually causes more chronic pain. He did say he broke his scaphoid in that same wrist eight years ago, but it started happening before he even broke that. Okay. Oh, wow. Jeez. Okay, so that wrist has taken some abuse. Sounds that way. If you're having intermittent pain, I would see, you could go see an orthopedist, but you can honestly go see a hand therapist. And they can probably give him some exercises to use on a regular basis.

Obviously, drywall, I mean, that's incredibly difficult on your hands and arms. That'll whoop your ass. Yeah. And there may be some sort of a, if they can localize where the pain is, there's some, you know, very subtle little braces that can basically, just cause a little or provide a little bit of like pressure around those bones that can help prevent pain when people are having problems. If he's really having recurrent problems, an orthopedist can inject that area with the steroid. And if it's becoming something that's

truly interfering with work, then, you know, that's when you would want to see a hand surgeon and probably get an MRI. It's like that old football injury that won't go away. Yeah. Right? Yep. We're here with Dr. P. Jesus. He's taking questions from our listing audience. The number is 651-989-93-93. That's our Luther-Bloathington-Kia text line. How about this, Dr. P?

Here's an unlucky bastard who had his gallbladder removed a couple years ago. Is it true without a gallbladder you're more susceptible to kidney stones? You know anything about that? I'm trying to think. I don't think of that as being... Well, you made a face that led me to believe that you've never heard that before, and if you've never heard it before

as a legit doctor, it probably isn't so. Yeah, I don't think it's a common thing. I'm trying to think of... I mean, because kidney stones are typically calcium-based. Yeah, I mean, the gallbladder is involved with bile from the liver that helps digest fats. So it's not a common thing.

That's probably one of those things I'll look up during the break, and see if there's any association that I just have never thought of. Sure. It's possible. Yeah. It's possible there is something you don't know. Oh, it's absolutely possible. Yes. There's a lot of stuff it could be. There's a long list of things I don't know.

But it's not a, I mean, if you talk to someone about having their gallbladder out, that's not on the list of probably the top 50 things you would mention, even if it's on a list. All right. You're okay. Yeah. All right. This is, I don't have a Jesus name Jesus. lost feeling in the corona glands of the penis.

Let's see. He said, this happened about two years ago. He circumcised, 54. He is circumcised. He is. Why? Is it too much sex? How can I fix it?

Everything works fine. Just doesn't feel like it used to. Where are the corona glands, Dr. P? Did he say corona glands? That's what he said, glands, yeah. He said it's the rim slash hood. It's the crown. Yeah, I mean, the corona is the head of the penis.

Oh, my God. That would be the... Interesting. Is that why I'm always trying to put a lime there? Oh, that would hurt. Right, right. I've never heard. Decreased sensation there.

Boy, I mean, anytime people have... Are you sleeping on it? Yeah. Have you been to Rick's cabareil? Yes, you can. Really? And then when it comes back to life, does it tingle like your arm does?

Not really. Josh and I both have put our own testicles and penis to sleep before here at work by sitting on it wrong. Yeah, these chairs, they'll get you. That's why we sit so far back sometimes, Asht. Oh. I mean, diabetes is the thing that I at least pops into my head. Oh, really? It can affect your leaner?

Well, it causes decreased sensation of extremities. So, I mean, in your feet, you may not notice it so much because. People aren't necessarily playing with your feet all the time. You're not expecting them to do anything. So not to... I mean, it's a simple thing to check into. Do you have diabetes? It's a blood test.

Wow. Other than that, I mean, there's other nerve issues, but again, isolated to the penis seems really odd. Doesn't it? It does. But yeah, I mean, some sort of an injury or... Is you just using it too much? That was one of...

I mean, maybe. Maybe add some lube. Oh, God. If there's too much chafing going on, I don't know. Well, the diabetes thing's kind of scary. Yeah, it's just, and again, it's, you know, it causes peripheral neuropathy and it caused the sexual dysfunction. I mean, it may just, and they didn't, did they say whether they were, they were circumcised

as a kid? They didn't say that, right? I'm just assuming they did not say when. Yeah, I mean, if you were, if you weren't circumcised, and then for some reason you were having problems and were circumcised later, then I think you, I mean, I think a lot of us guys mourn the loss of our foreskin Before we had the ability to say, I'd like to keep that Because I understand that it offers increased

Sensation for sexual activity, is that right? Did not know that. That's disgusting. And it is kind of weird when you think about the fact that we do that to little boys. He has responded real quick and says he does not have diabetes. Okay. Well, then maybe you're sleeping on it. Josh, what do you think of this little tune here, a listener text?

get it looked at. Get your, the head of your penis looked at, the corona glance. A listener texted in with a little poem for you. Yankee, Yankee, pull, pull, pull, yank, yank, pull, yank, pulle, yank, pull, yank, pull, my corona. We'll be back. The number is 651, 989, 93. If you have a question for Dr. P. Jesus, more with old James here when we come back on the program. Hi, everybody. Hi. Dr. P. Jesus, welcome to the half-assed morning show. Yeah, I hear you.

About ready to wrap this deal up, but not before our guest, Dr. P. Jesus, handles a couple more questions from our wonderful listening audience. Let's see where we can go next, Dr. P. Oh, this guy's telling a joke. You want to hear the joke? Sure. I had a sore shoulder for months. I went to the doctor to get it checked out.

He told me to quit masturbating. I said, is that what's hurting my shoulder? He said, no, you're in my waiting room. Quit masturbate. Nasal spray addiction. Is that a real thing? How do I kick nasal spray addiction? Yeah, aphrine addiction.

I mean, I wouldn't say it's, it's not addiction in the same way that tobacco and, you know, heroin are or other things like that. It's, afrin is a decongestant, and it can help if you use it for a short time if you've got a cold. and you're really congested. Sure. It shrinks the blood vessels in the nose, and so it can give you some more, improve your breathing. Yeah.

But there's a rebound phenomenon that's pretty well understood that if you, so you squirt the stuff in there, the blood vessels shrink, then they go back to normal. If you keep doing that, basically instead of just going back to normal, they get bigger than normal.

And so you actually increase the amount of swelling, which means you tend to keep using more aphrine Oh, sure. To try to decrease the swelling. You think it's helping. It's actually... And it may help briefly because it's shrinking them again, but it's actually building up this problem.

I've never heard of that. Any of you folks hooked on nasal spray? No, I hate that stuff. Yeah, I don't know whether... I think it used to be... It used to be probably a bigger problem before there was... Before there were good allergy treatments. You know, so fall allergies, ragweed,

causes massive nasal congestion. But now there are... There's steroid nasal sprays, which... decrease the inflammation in there, not by shrinking the blood vessels, but just by decreasing inflammation overall. Those you can use every day, and they don't cause a rebound phenomenon. And those have been over the counter now for maybe 10 years, 15 years. So is there a pill this guy can take instead of the nasal spruce? Well, that's, okay, to get off of, if you've been using aphrine for a long time,

it can be challenging, but I think you, Using a steroid nasal spray is at least a way to start helping shrink that tissue without. So things like Flonase is sort of the most commonly known one. Again, over the counter, that you can use a couple times a day. If it's been a really, if it's been a long time and it's been a major problem, it probably is good to talk to a doctor because they might even want to give you, I'd have to, I mean, I haven't ever, I don't think I've ever truly. helped someone get past a major problem with it, but it might be a course of oral steroids

to shrink that inflammation. Okay. And you got to get away from Afrin completely. I mean, are people like losing their jobs and they're on a street corner? Huffing. No. I'm picturing like a Target shopping cart filled with this stuff. I mean, yeah, I think you just have to use it more and more. So you might be, you might be going through it fast and you're getting very minimal relief from it. But again, it doesn't make you feel living in a motel room for months. Just, that would be a Empty bottles all around your bed. Right. Haven't seen your parents.

You tape all the windows up so no sunlight get... That's something. I've never heard of that before. Yeah, but it's pretty miserable, though, because then your nose is just completely locked up all the time. Good advice. The gallbladder removal and kidney stone question, that's an interesting one. Oh, a guy earlier said, yeah, go ahead.

So, yeah, we were asked, does having your gallbladder removed increase the risk of kidney stones? There is some evidence of that, but... for a longer period of time, there's been some evidence that having gallstones increases your risk of also having kidney stones. I don't think that's well understood. So obviously, people who have gallstones are more likely to have their gallbladder removed, which, so I don't know that it's clear. It's the gallbladder removal, that's the problem, or it's the fact that you already had gallstones. That's the problem. So it's an interesting question.

It seems like there's honestly, there was sort of a. last year that was kind of proposing this relationship. I mean, the problem is if you have gallstones that are causing, you know, significant enough pain that you're disabled by it, and you can also have severe complications from gallstones because it can block ducks that drain your liver and you can get unbelievably sick. So, I mean, you still have, you need to get your gallbladder out if you need to get it out. But maybe there will be some better understanding over time.

Okay. Yeah, that was a new one to me. Fair enough, bro. Controller Sheez has had carpal tunnel for about four or five years, which is getting worse with losing feeling and some pain. Are there long-term repercussions of pushing off treatment? I mean, so carpal tunnel is when the median nerve, which goes down through those wrist bones, to basically your thumb through the, well, through the ring finger, just one side of the ring finger. Those fingers can get, they can have numbness, weakness.

Yeah, the more that that nerve is having symptoms, especially if they're not going away, it can represent permanent damage to that nerve. So people who, you know, maybe over the weekend they use a hammer a bit, they're doing some stuff around the house. They may have symptoms for a few days. It goes away. They're probably okay. But if you're getting to the point where it's either never going away or it's, you know,

really flaring up, you do put that nerve at risk. So that's when you do want to go at least see your primary care doctor. There are some simple things you can do wearing a simple wrist splint at night that helps you from bending your wrist when you're sleeping because that pushes, that presses on the nerve. Hand therapy again, I feel like we brought up hand therapy multiple times today, but hand therapists can do a lot of good. But the surgery these days is pretty slick.

I had that a couple months ago. What happened to you? I was having persistent symptoms that got worse after the chicken roasting event. I know. I remember you were kind of cramping up. The thing is, I had it. Before that, it just, it was actually really. You were dishing out so much carcass that your carpal tunnel flared up.

It's a great story. Yeah, you're working your ass off. It actually was good that it happened because I finally just went ahead and did the surgery. But they do the surgery in the office now. I mean, you don't have, you just have local anesthesia, you don't have to get a pre-op. They put local anesthesia in. They do the surgery. It's a little weird because they're making an incision in your hand.

But it's pretty slick. I mean, you know, you can barely see a scar. So it's very treatable if indeed you are to that point. And yeah, you just don't want to, you don't want to delay it so long that those fingers don't feel right or work right the rest of your life. That's not good. Sounds miserable. Yeah. You got it done, Dr. P.

you absolutely got it done it always goes so fast you got us through you got us through Monday day one of our Christmas ultimate F off week that's awesome yeah we appreciate you yeah glad to be here as always thank you happy 65th to Craig

in Superior Wisconsin and today's smooth vanilla Jesus is Friday so we wanted to send a couple of early shoutouts to a smoking hot wife DVS Jesus who's got a birthday on Thursday and then happy birthday to smooth vanilla Jesus on Friday. The 93X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps?

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