93X Half-Assed Morning Show - The Kreme Mobil

Episode Date: September 8, 2026

Originally Aired  September 8, 2026: World Class Entertainer C. Willi Myles. A police officer who had no i-deer. Everything you've ever wanted to know about getting abandoned on Mount Fyoo-ji.  Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey podcast friends, it's Dana here. I know you're excited for the show, so let's just get right down to Brass Tacks. I'm a smart club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. I think you should join me. I don't mean to be that guy, but as Minnesones, we know what season's coming up. Getting your furnace tune-up before the cold weather hits is just smart. Right now, you can save $70 on a furnace tune-up or double-dip and save $140 and save $140. Scheduled by September 30th and use the code 93X to save.

Standard heating and air conditioning, providing the comfort you deserves is 1930. online at standardheeding.com. Enjoy the show. The 93x half-assed morning show. Ninety-three. I'll be damned. Where can we go with this? Well, we had a glorious Labor Day weekend.

And by God, it is grand to be on hand. Welcome to the Half-Ass Morning Show. I think this time last year, day after Labor Day. I may have said the exact same thing. But I'm going to go ahead anyway. State Fair is over, which means summer is over. Suck it up. Yeah, everybody's back today.

She's all over with. All the kids are back today. Over, Josh. But we had ourselves a busy holiday weekend starting last Friday with another one of those silly appearances at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds. We wanted to express our thanks to the folks who came out to say hello. that was last Friday, wasn't it? Yep.

Seems like a long time ago, but it was. You're right. Yeah, you're right. Feels like the liquor talking, but that really was legitimately last Friday. So thank you for those of you who swung by. And then, oh, I think I have this correct as well last Saturday. We finally got around to our half-ass morning show, Summer Bash, which was a live concert at the Mystic Lake Amphitheater.

starring Creed. There's a hell of a crowd for that gig. For the months and months, they told us, uh-oh, you guys are going to be pretty lonely. Nobody's buying tickets to this. It sure didn't seem that way on Saturday. Not at all. Yeah, it filled up beautifully.

There were live human beings personally, Josh. I thought there were live human beings as far as the eye could see. It looked that way. It looked really full. And I'll tell you what, that's my favorite venue so far. I haven't been to all of them. cool. There's a couple in town that I know are popular that I haven't been to, but that is beautiful. Everything about that place is great. And I know it's brand new and that's probably something a lot of

people say, but it's set up really well. They did all right with that one. Yeah, there's a lot of variety as far as like ticket prices and there's not, it didn't look like there was a terrible place to be. Enough cameras. It's like the bowl is shaped perfectly where you can see from a lot of different angles. Yep. And then I got to say Tim Montana, I know you guys showed up a little later, but I watched the whole show. And Tim Montana, he's a good performer, and he comes across as a really neat guy. He grew up without electricity until he was 18 years old, I believe he said. You can relate to that.

Pretty much. It's intermittent, right? Sometimes you'd have it just depending on how the month went. Depending on whether mom and dad were working. Yeah, it's just kind of dependent. Yeah. So he just kind of had a neat story talking about how he grew up, and he said some really nice things about the radio station,

which doesn't happen very often. That was cool of him to say. He said nice things about the radio station. Yeah, he did. That's great. Some really nice things, which he didn't have to do. I missed the Tim Montana program. I think you'd like him.

He's got a cool look. His band's tight. I wish, I'd love it if he, I'd love to see him in an opportunity where it's his show, meaning he'd have all the theatrics and the cool lights and stuff like that, you know, because at first, you know how it goes, you go to those festival shows or multiple shows. Like, the first band is way towards the front, and they got really no room, and it kind of spreads out backwards until, like Creed, they had the whole stage to use. The other cool part, I thought, was shaking hands with Mark Tramante, the guitar player from Creed, who's

definitely on a list of guitar players I admire. I mean, shoot, he's on so many, if you look back at all the accolades he's received. Every guitar magazine talks about what a great guitar player is. He wins like guitar player the year. I think he's won that a few times. And he was so nice to us afterward, after the stage announcement, and he

didn't have to be. It was pretty rare. It was a rare thing. As soon as we gave, as soon as we gave Creed their intro. Yeah, so by the way, we got on stage between Candlebox and Creed to thank everyone for coming to the

the show, not that a great majority of them, had any idea this was a radio station thing. Or who we were or why we were up there. But we got up there to thank the bands and thank everyone for coming and gave Creed their intro. And as we spun around to get away from the stage as quickly as possible before a stage hand wet their pants, there was this smiling face in the corner back behind the drum kit. And it was, as Josh mentioned, the lead guitar player, Mark Tramonte, who is every bit as highly thought of as you were saying. I mean, he's thought of as just this maestro on the guitar. And here's this smiling face, who I did not recognize at first.

And then suddenly it dawned on me, well, that's that Tramante character. And he just reached out to shake our hands and seemed thrilled. to meet us. And that's just a really rare thing. I mean, I'm not trying to say that the majority of rock stars we have an encounter with are a little too self-absorbed for that, but they are. So that was a real sweet kind of a gesture on his part. I thought that kind of put a nice icing on the whole smear. And really, and I'm not like ripping on anybody. I understand everybody has a job to do their stressed. I mean, it's stressful back there, trying to get everything going. They're ready to go on stage 3, 2, 1, you boys are on.

Yeah, and they're focused. And some of them are weird. But it did seem like he's the only person that didn't hate the fact we were up there. That was kind of my impression. And I get it. We're getting the way of their job. They're thinking, these are radio dorks. And that's concert announcements, that stage announcements as a whole, really,

what you just said about most of the folks who are there, crew and band, they would rather that we were not a part of it. Totally understand. That's every stage announcement we've ever made. That's not a knock on Creed or any of the bands that played Saturday night. That's just the overall vibe, like Josh said. They've got a job to do. They're on a time schedule.

A lot of times the radio dork announcement gets in the way, and we totally get that. But for Mark Tramante, he seemed to be very pleased that we were part of the mix. So it was a nice, nice thing. Thankfully, I haven't had to do anything like that in a very long time, over a decade probably. I was kind of miserable about it, to be honest. Oh, we could tell. Something has happened to you over the last 10 years. Yeah, I just, I can't, I never liked it, but now I, it's not like a negative feeling, it's just a terrified feeling.

Oh, you loat it. I get it. You dread it. Yeah. It tortures you. It does. Months ahead of time. Just thinking about it, yes.

But I'm glad it hasn't changed. where at first they're like, all right, guys, you've got five minutes. It's going to be something where you get up there. You just say hi to the crowd. Thank people for coming. And then 15 minutes later, Creed's going to go on, which is always anti-climatic, right? Because as soon as you see people on stage, you go, oh, here we go. Here comes the band I came to.

Something's happening. So that part kind of sucks, but it was more laid back, which we're not used to. But then just like every other announcement I've ever been a part of, they're like, all right, we've got to change everything. They're going to come on shortly after you guys go. You got like five seconds to get this over with. So I know everything that people have planned, everything you're imagining, it's going to happen.

Completely is obliterated at that last second. The stress was just as high as I remember. So I'm glad that hadn't changed. We thought we had loads of time to jaw jack on the microphone. I mean, I was thinking about I had some poetry I was going to share with the crowd. Darn it, I'm just that. I had a long comedy routine. I was going to do the hourback song in tribute to Andrew Dice Clay.

Oh, that would have been cool. I was going to sing the crowd the hourback song. Anyway, if we had to get through all of us, I wanted to throw out a Creed bomb at some point. But then I was told that some members of Creed, they don't have the best sense of humor. See, speaking of members of Creed, you know, we shook hands with Mark Tremonte.

I wanted to meet Scott Stapp. That's my guy. I'm glad you didn't shake hands with him. He was saying he had some sort of respiratory infection. he was in the hospital the day before, but he powered through the show. Oh, I can get through that. I'll take a respiratory infection

for shaking hands with Scott Stapp. My only, I won't even call this a complaint. The only thing that was a little bit of a bummer on the show was when people were speaking, from at least where we were sitting, it was a little tough to tell what folks were saying. When the music was, like if somebody was speaking on stage. Oh.

But when the music was playing, you could hear that fine. Oh, and then when, I forgot, this too. I have no idea what you guys said on stage. Neither do we. Yeah, because the monitors weren't on. No, we could not. I was the first one to get on the microphone and there were no monitors for us. I could barely hear what I was saying. And as you guys know, if you can't hear yourself, you can't control your tone or anything. So I could not be sure how I came off at all up there. And then I could not make out a word that Dana was saying. Just be. Yeah, because of some monitors were turned off.

It's a roll of the dice, isn't it? From start to finish when you do those stage announcements, it's an absolute roll of the dice. Yeah, when you handed me the mic, in my head I thought, I have no idea what he just said, so I hope I'm not repeating verbatim what he just said, but here we go. I was standing right next to you guys. I know, Dana, you were yelling at the end, probably because he couldn't hear yourself. Yeah.

And I couldn't hear you at all. I couldn't hear the crowd. I couldn't hear anything. Butchers hack Jesus said my nerves, as far as my nerves go, he thinks it might have helped me poop. No, but from the time I got to the venue to the time we did the stage announcements, so, you know, that's just two bands. I peed eight times. Nervous pee. I counted because it was so ridiculous. But I got to see a lot of the venue walking around. Oh, it was, yeah.

Really? You took a piss eight times? Between what time and what? Between whenever the show started, what, 630? I can't remember. So that is eight trips to the bathroom in about three hours? About that, maybe even less. Here's a listener, Johnny Bravo, Jesus. He went and saw Slayer. Sweet. At the amphitheater.

What was that not? When was that? Last Friday? Friday. It was a night before Creed. Friday night. Night before Creed. Okay.

That, he enjoyed it. He enjoyed it. The Slayer Show. I heard great things. I talked to a couple people that were there the night before as well. He said that concert. it was for Satan. It was so good.

He said it was so good. He thinks it was... So there you go. There was quite the age range I noticed, too, on Saturday. You know, people bringing their kids to get him in. That's a good first concert. Oh, definitely. That's all I see.

But I suppose that would make sense because all I ever watch anymore are older bands. And let's be honest, Creed is an older band now. They are. Yeah. They started late 90s. Not as old as a lot of the bands that we talk about on this show or that Josh and I worship. I mean, Christ, we'll spend all day talking about the doobie brothers and the monkeys and things like that.

They're not as old as those characters. But yeah, so what I was going to say is pretty much every show I go to is you can see you 10-year-old and you can see a 75-year-old. So I didn't really look around the Creed crowd, but that's pretty much. pretty much my concert experience every time is it's in all ages type of oh yeah that was cool i mean you saw people definitely in their 60s and then you saw kids probably seven years old just wish i would have met scott stapp well he was intense back there how you guys know i love him i know you do he was doing like calisthetics he was doing yoga bouncing up and down like leg kicks and stuff he was doing some vocal warmups so there you

go now things dial back for us personally for a week or so which is nice But for Christ's sake, next thing you know, we'll all be back together for that big old boat ride. Our Rock the River Booze Cruise comes around on October, pardon me, September 18th. Is that right? September 18th. When is that? A week from Friday? Yeah. And then Iron Maiden the next night. Oh, that's a busy weekend for you, boys. So we've got some time to relax, Josh.

This weekend on Saturday, were you going to come to Elko with me? No. No. Okay, you're not going to go. I thought you were going to go to the radio. with me. Races? Yeah, I met a guy. I'm aware of the fact that Elko hosts races.

Yeah. Yeah, what are we talking about? I met a guy in our last boat cruise. Brent Kane is his name. He's a racer, and he invited us down. So I was going to go down there Saturday. I think I'm going to bring quite a bit of my family to watch the races. They haven't done that.

I've done it before. Yeah, I will not be there. You're not going to go. Ashley, Dana. Nothing against Brent, and I love a good. automobile race, but this weekend is... It's been busy. Pardon me?

It's been busy lately. Well, this weekend is my hometown party. This weekend is my hometown festival, J.J. Hill Days. So I always like to go on down to Lake Street and Wizzetta and celebrate J.J. Hill Days with other Jurassic characters that I grew up with. What do they do there? Like food trucks? Singing and dancing and food trucks. Fun. Love that kind of stuff.

We all wear deck shoes and popped collars and talk about family money and things like that. Uh-huh. So I remember you bringing up this Elko race and sorry if I've blue-balled you. Maybe I might have talked a good game a couple of weeks ago. You did. Did I? Yeah. Somebody's saying it's Haydays this weekend, too.

God darn it, that's a lot of fun. F me running. Good luck parking at Haydays. Every time I've been there, that's been absolutely slammed. Rightfully so. Maybe the longest I've ever walked in my life was years ago. when I hit up heydays. Because of the parking, right?

I parked. What town is that in? Oh, shoot, I forgot. Let me look that up. For Christ's sake, I parked a county to the south and walked my nuts off. Is it North Branch? Sounds correct. I can't be.

That's a lot of fun. Yeah. I don't know if I've ever been there. Oh, you've got to go. Oh, they've got all kinds of motor vehicles racing up and down, running each other over. Topless men. Sounds awesome. It is awesome.

I think it's right up your alley, Ashley. Unfortunately, you'll be at Elko with me, so you can't. Oh, yeah. It's Jesse James days in Northfield as well. There's too much. I got to spread it out so we can do some of these things. Frigan Northfield. I like Northfield. You don't like it?

Nobody likes Northfield. I do. So there, you f-and-go. It was a hell of a weekend. We hope everybody out there in our listing audience also had an opportunity. to have some laughs on Labor Day weekend. They closed down the state fair. Oh, how did your wife enjoy her concert experience last weekend?

She went to the fairgrounds to see a band they call Envogue, and then there was a band they called TLC, and most importantly, if you ask me, Salt and Peppa were up in that bitch. She loved it. I mean, those are bands or groups, I guess. she'd call them that she's really into. She was looking forward to it. Otherwise, she would have been a creed,

but it was an easy choice for her to go check that out. She'd been looking to that since it was announced. Looking forward to what I should say. Had she watched a show her to already at the State Fair Grandstand? No, she was going to go to what was the other one? The Jimmy Jammed one.

Sure. But she couldn't make it. She had to work. So that was her... Did she dig the State Fair Grandstand? Because I love that place. Yeah, she's been there for a couple of shows. Oh, she has been there for a couple of times. So she was totally pumped. There was TLC. I can't remember which one of them. There was just one. There was just the T or the C.

Right. The other one had some sort of respiratory infection as well. What the hell should have been doing? Hanging out with Scott Stapp? I don't know. Maybe they perform somewhere together. Cubby. There's also steamboat days in Carver this weekend.

Damn. You're going to have to go to Carver. You're going to have to go to wherever they host Hay Days. And then you're going to have to go to Elko. And then I'd like you to spend some time with me at J.J. Hill Days in Wizetta. I would like to do all those. Right. We got to hurry up and work on our clone machine.

Clone machine. Once we get that done, we're going to be set. Haydays used to be in Lino Lakes prior to 2005, a listener says. Okay, well, so we have an answer as to where it used to be. When I clicked on that text message, I thought, for sure, with the setup, this listener would know where it is today, seeing how he knew where it was in the old days. But no, I just got the answer of where it used to be. That's my favorite kind of answer. Well, yes, that is a to riotous event.

All right, so thank you to a listener named Nick. The C was not there for TLC. Chili. No, chili? Yeah. I know Left Eye wasn't there because sadly, Left Eye has passed away, so the L was gone. But T-Baz. T-Baz?

T-Bos. Was the only one still? I'm sorry. I had it backwards. C was the only one still there. Chili is her name. Chili was the only one there. T-Baz gone.

She's found a couple. couple other gals to help her out in T-Boss's stead. Yeah. I had an interesting experience at Haydays years ago. Remember the famous scene, Josh, from the legendary film, The Naked Gun, where Frank Drebin gets off the airplane and he thinks the media has all gathered to hear what he had to say. There were screaming women, media everywhere, microphones everywhere, cameras clicking, and Frank Dreben assumed they were there for him.

He begins talking. The crowd is completely lost. And Frank's partner, Al, not Al, Ed, Ed has to tap Frank on the shoulder and say, Frank, they're not here for you. Weird Al Yankovic is on the plane. And then Al get, remember that scene, hilarious scene? It was such a cool cameo. I had something similar at Haydays many years ago where I was to make an appearance,

in quotes, an appearance at the event. where I would sit down and people would. It's so stupid, but that was the plan. People would have the opportunity to meet me. And I wasn't wild about the idea where none of us are wild about that type of a setup, but they pointed when I got there, the heydays people said, okay, you're going to be parked at this table over here. And as I'm approaching this table, there was a line

as far as the eye could see. And I thought, finally, a group of people who appreciate greatness, right? This line was, and it's little kids and grown folks and a lot of good-looking chicks and I thought, I'm finally getting what I deserve around here. What a crowd.

Look at this friggin line. Unbelievable. I sit down, there's a chair next to me. And I thought, well, this is unnecessary. This is just a Nick. I don't need this chair. Next thing, you know, Levi LaValley comes and sits next to me. Yeah, that guy can pull a crowd.

He and I. And, of course, he's very friendly, and I think I had met him before. We used to have Mono Lott. I bet you knew him pretty decently. A long time ago. But at the time, we were somewhat familiar with each other, and then it dawned on me. They were not there for me. Weird Al Yankovic was on the plane, or Levi Lavalley was there to sign.

And every swing and D that walked past Artisian. got something signed by Levi, took a picture with Levi, told them a story, told them how much of a fan they were of his, and then they would look at me as if to think, is this guy his coach? Who is this guy? He's a manager? They all just kind of looked at me, tried to figure out who I was, and kept walking. That marker I had in my hand, Josh, I never took the cap off that marker. We had a similar experience. It was a station appearance at a hardware store in Hastings. And when we got there, there was a line.

And I thought, my gosh, I guess a lot of folks must listen to 93X here in this town. And then we get there and they're like, no, no, no, they're handing out $50 coupons to the first hundred people. Yeah, nobody was interested in the radio station. Nobody was there because of the radio station. $50? $50. Dang. This hardware store must have gone out of business.

within an hour. I would have gotten in line. She, I've never heard of that before. A 50, that's hilarious. I was nervous. Like, holy crap, there's so many people. I'd never experienced that. Even at some of those, what do those used to be called?

Ticket blowouts or whatever we used to call those. Or every 15 minutes you'd give away ticket, sometimes even more, to a big show. And, you know, you'd have crowds there, but it was nothing like this. That's great. Sometimes that lack of communication. Oh, yeah. Can be a lot of effing fun. All right, you bastard.

Yeah. I remember when I was a younger guy. Oh, I was young enough to where my grandmother was still around, but she was slipping. She was older than the hills, and the gears weren't quite grinding so well for grandma anymore. My grandmother on my dad's side. So I stopped by my folks place one day, and my dad was sitting there with my grandma. And one of my dad's oldest friends then walked in about 20 minutes after I did. And of course, I was familiar with him.

And when this old friend of my dad's walked in, my grandmother shot out of the chair. And she begins to tear up. And she says, oh, my God, I can't believe it's you. Come over here. And she gives my dad's buddy this big hug. And she says, how are you? And she's kissing him on the cheek. She said, oh, my God.

It is so wonderful to see. And he had this look on his face, just dumbfounded. And he begins to sort of tear up a little bit as he's hugging my grandmother and this and they exchange pleasantries. And my grandma had to take a crap or something. She leaves the room. And my dad's buddy says to my dad, well, Jesus Christ, John, that was just the most beautiful thing. I haven't seen your mother in a long time. That reaction was just so beautiful.

I'll be damned. And my dad goes, she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about. She thinks you're somebody else. Man, I know her that for her. Just let him have it. Right out of his sale. Totally just sucked the air out of the room. I said to my dad, you cold-blooded son of a bitch, you couldn't let him have that for five minutes.

She doesn't know what the hell. She doesn't know if she's on foot or horseback. She doesn't even know who we are. So there you go. Oh, Christ. What are we got going on this week? See Willie's in today? Word. Oh, I understand he had a nice sold-out show over the weekend, and a lot of our listeners were there to support him.

Dr. Andrea is scheduled to make an appearance on Thursday. Son of a bitch. She's a wise-ed-a-gall. She and I will probably want to talk about JJ Hill days all day that on Thursday. Probably. Probably. Yeah, she's a wiserie-a-gall. Smallest amount of time I've spent at the State Fair in my life this year. Was it just the two times we went? Just the two times we went. So a total of about five hours. Same here. It's weird, but it's just too many people, man. It's a weird feeling. It was too hot. It was too many people. I'm starting to get in that mode now where it's not quite the draw that it used to be. I'm getting old and I don't like the heat and I don't like the crowds and we all hit a point that are in our lives and I guess I've hit that point.

I do feel a little bad, though. I do. The crowds were so big on the first Thursday and Friday. I mean, record setting. And then it really dipped down. Even though that Saturday felt like there was a lot more people than there were, the Saturday we were there. But I was looking at the attendance records, and I saw a couple stories on it. Like, it was kind of lightly attended on a few days. Yeah, definitely dipped after that first initial weekend. Yeah, that weekend was huge.

I got to stop going on the weekends. I got to start making time during the week. That's the key. But you guys don't need to hear my problems and my concerns. Oh, we're here for them. The 93X half-assed morning show. Hey, podcast friends. It's Dana here. I'm a smart club member of Standard Heating and Air Conditioning.

I think you should join me. I don't mean to be that guy, but as Minnesones, we know what season's coming up. Getting your furnace tune up before the cold weather hits is just smart. Right now, you can save $70 on a furnace tuneup or double dip and save $140 if you add the AC tuneup as well. Scheduled by September 30th and use a code 93x to save. Standard Heating and Air Conditioning providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Online at standardheating.com. hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints,

you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bealki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bealky Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialkylaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-L-L-E-L-L-K-E-L-E-L-L-E-L-L-E-L-L-E-L-L-E.

Stupid news. on the half-assed morning show. I hear you. You know, we were talking earlier. We've had a lot's going on. Lots going on at the radio station in the last few days. What do we do now? Oh yeah, Friday, we went to the state fair.

Saturday, we went off to Mystic Lake amphitheater for our half-ass morning show, Summer Bash, starring Scott Stap. This, that, heading off all over the place. And I was saying earlier, we've got a week now, about a week or so to relax a little bit, before our Rock the River booze crews coming up on September 18th. So that'll be a week from Friday. I thought, at least, Josh, that we had some time to relax.

Oh, I mentioned that this weekend for me personally is J.J. Hildays, the annual town party in my hometown of Wiesetta. Josh mentioned he wanted to go to Elko to see a, an auto show of something, what the hell's happening? Some racing Saturday night. And with that said, our listeners bombed us on the text machine, 651, 989, 993, our Luther Bloomington Key, a text line. They bombed us with a pile of events that are going on this weekend.

Things aren't slowing down at all. What do we start with here? Haydays. Oh, we mentioned heydays. And we actually got a text here, Josh, from, some folks who do the porta-potties at Haydays. Oh, nice. Yeah, they said it gets pretty gross.

Oh, I bet. Yeah. That event gets packed. Totally, completely. So, yeah, Haydays got the conversation going also as to how many events are taking place this weekend. Here we go. Lions Roar Days in Osseo. Are you guys familiar with that one?

No. I haven't heard that before. I just went to Osseo for the first time at a long time a couple of weeks ago. Invergrove Heights Days in Georgia. Minnesota, I've got family in Jordan. They say Jordan, Minnesota is having something called Heimfest, Heimitt Fest, some kind of a German brat and beer chugging showdown, sounds to me. I can't be sure, but Jordan has a town party.

This Saturday in Andover, a listener tells us there is a Corgi meetup in Andover this Saturday, this Saturday, where he predicts there will be up and around 500 corgis. No way. Hey. Seriously? So it's overwhelming. I need to check that out. I didn't know there was 500 corgis. I had a corgi for a while. Cooks,

did a duck. Didn't you have a couple? Oh, yeah, I did. I had two. They can provide some noise. Oh, I didn't know that. Are they yippy? Well, it's not so much yippy as it is kind of ferocious in their delivery. Really? Yeah, they've got big, big voices. Corgis do.

Big scary voices. They're not scary dogs, obviously, but wow, 500 corgis in one town. I hope Andover is ready for that. What else? Still driving, Jesus said there's the big iron classic semi-truck show and pole in Kaysen. I'm surprised you're not going to that, Josh. I didn't even know about it. I was just going to ask, how do people know about all this stuff?

feel very unplugged. I use Facebook. Osceola, Wisconsin has an event called Wheels and Wings. Oh, and you know what vehicle will be making an appearance at Wheels and Wings in Osceola, Josh, the greatest stinking motor vehicle in the world, in my opinion. The Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile will apparently be there. Corker and Lyons has a demolition derby this weekend. And this is just the beginning.

This is just what people have sent us so far. And also, this weekend, there'll be an event called The Taste of Osakis. And I know I'm somewhat familiar with what Osakis tastes like, Josh. It kind of tastes like Boone's Farm wine. Oh, sure. Yeah. That's how it smells. So that makes sense.

So my damn, we thought that things were slowing down. We were as wrong as we could be. Yeah, that's pretty busy. All that sounds really cool. Mm-hmm. I love those little town parties. of course, with the exception of Maple Lake. Oh, you know, I'd like to mention another one.

This is a charity 5K, the Jordan Clark 5K. I'll be stopping out Saturday morning for that one, too. They have it in Egan. That's awesome. Every year. Usually the fire trucks come out there. Fire trucks? That's why Josh is going.

Silent auction. Jordan Clark, do I know who that is? Jordan Clark, she's a young woman who passed away from suicide. And so this is to raise awareness that there's, help out there and this is a great foundation. You know, they started it in her name, obviously, and they have a 5K every year. So it's a nice event.

This Saturday morning. All right, like I said, things aren't slowing down for Dick. I guess not. I always kind of assume what's the fair and people just kind of got into the groove of back to reality, but there's a lot of things happening. We've got to squeeze

some more parties in before. Scandia Taco Days. Whoa. Someone just texted in, to say Scandia is hosting their Taco Days. You can't forget that the Minnesota Rundasons Festival is still going too. I thought that ended.

Nope. Yep, it's all of September, I believe, the last themed weekend is in the first week of October. Well, hazaa. I was not aware of that. That's next on my list. Once that's done, then I really feel like, all right, it's fall. Let's go ahead and pop the top

on the stupid news. And for starters, this one here reminds me of one of my favorite movie tropes. And I think I'm using the right terminology. Movie trope, I guess we'll find out soon enough. Being a guy with a terrible overall sense of direction, that's me.

Something that grabs me now and again when watching a motion picture The movie trope I'm talking about is this. When the good guy gets in a car chase with the bad guy, 99 times out of 100, the good guy knows exactly where he's at, where he's headed, which way to turn, which way not to turn, he knows the shortcuts up and down and sideways, even if he's never been to that town before in his life. The good guy knows which way he's a going again. And that aggravates me a little bit. Just once, I want to be watching a movie, and I want the good guy to be racing through town, and the good guy suddenly slams on the brakes and says, okay, I have absolutely zero idea where I'm at right now.

It doesn't happen, though. Stop and ask for directions. Or also, there's certain vehicles they don't know how to operate. Right. Because they know how to fly a helicopter, ride a motorcycle. Right. They could drive any vehicle. It doesn't matter.

If I was the good guy in a car chase, anywhere's outside of my beloved hometown, let's say we were riding together, Josh, you were my partner, we were buddy cop type of a scene, I would have us so effing turned around, it would be ridiculous. I just lack a general sense of direction. I could, anywhere south of 94, I'd be all right. The north side, I don't have a lot of experience it.

This is more like, excuse me, This is more like real life to me right here. A crook in a place called Orange County, it doesn't matter where that is. This crook up and stole a car, and that led to one of those high-speed motor vehicle chases with the police. During the chase, the crook got himself so eff-in-turned-the-f-round that the silly bastard ended up leading the cops to the parking lot of the county jail. That's perfect. I also like it in the movies where they go down a dead end or something like that.

That seems to happen too. The bad guy is just so stupid. Right. This dude led the cops to the county jail. And you know the dude said to himself, F me running when he realized where he was at. Like me, I'm sure this dude is well. aware of his lack of general direction.

So I'm sure this wasn't the first time he had effed himself, but certainly the most significant time so far. It would seem weird if you're a bad guy, you steal a car, you run it from the cops, if you use GPS. It would be a little bizarre. I don't even know if I'd come up with something like that in that moment. Yeah. Yeah, I still don't know how to operate that GPS, so yeah, I wouldn't.

Well, this dude wasn't doing himself any good by driving a car. car. So he got out and ran like hell, but the police were pretty quick to knock him on his ass and toss the irons on him. The cops put out a smart mouth statement where they said, it's not often that criminals take themselves to jail, but this one did. Poor bastard. That's really funny. Again, another one of those times where it must be fun to be a cop. I've heard if you run, You flee on foot. They're going to be more pissed because they got to get out and run after you. I don't have the cardio for that.

Makes sense. Yeah, the cops that I know throughout my lifetime, I think I could beat a couple of them in a foot race. Oh, they would have zero interest in a foot race. So I can understand how that would piss them off, absolutely. Or you make them get out in some inclement weather, something like that. You're going to get tased. What are those takes?

Some of them can go like 45 feet. All you got to do are, what's the average? Maybe 21 feet. A taser? Oh, I had no idea. So you could get within 21 feet of one. I'd just zap them. I don't know what the rules are.

Can you zap a guy in the back if he's running? You probably can. Just a little quick zap, yeah. You should know the taser rules. Yeah, I don't know what your career as a, your career as a neighborhood, a watchman and all that stuff. What was that club you were involved in? Oh, when I took the Citizens Academy?

Yeah, the Citizens Academy. Yeah, you should know the Taser laws. Yeah, I mean, Citizens Academy, that's your path to seal Team 6. That's what I've heard, yeah. You'll get there. The two weeks of training with you. That two weeks of training with you and usually it's like a 60-some-year-old city councilman. Oh, I was going to get a six-year-old.

No, no, no, no. It's usually, in my experience, I've done it once. Oh, I should do it in Egan just to see if it bothers people. But I've done it once with Pryor Lake. More like Seal Team Schmucks. Yeah, pretty much. Seal Team Dix. Here's a derelict that...

Well, he has a pretty unique specialty. He's a 58-year-old putts. He goes by the name of Christopher. As we speak, he's up against felony charges for allegedly stealing. what they call here a mortuary stretcher and that's what they lay your carcass out on after you've checked smooth out don't you know that's kind of creepy right a mortuary stretcher yep but here's the deal i never would have been able to tell you this just one of those mortuary carcass gurneys stretchers whatever one of those pigs is worth $7,100? Whoa. When I go, I don't want anybody to get that fancy with me.

That's too much money to spend on me. Just kick me around or something. Well, when you die. Like if I'm in charge of you when you die, I don't think I have to hand the mortuary $7,100 to put you on it. I just mean, I don't want the mortuary to think that they have to have that. Whatever you got. Don't think you got to go get that one.

A wheel barrel? Yeah, save that for somebody else. Just one of those carcass gurneys is worth $7,100. I wonder if it's like a couch where you spend two grand on a couch, but really it costs about $150 to make if it's the same type of thing here or the markups just outrageous. Could be. This is Christopher's thing.

This is his vibe. He's been fingered by police for a pot. of similar dead body stretcher thefts across four different states. To be clear, he doesn't snatch the dead bodies, just the stretchers. I guess that makes it a little better. Yep. I think it makes it a lot better. Says here authorities were able to get a handle on Christopher's operation. Oh, by using those flock cameras.

So as much as those effing things might rub folks the wrong way. they're at least good for helping to prevent local funeral homes from being robbed of their dead grandma stretchers. Christopher was arrested for this exact same thing two years ago. So the cops think that Christopher is one of the few people around who was aware of how much money those damn stretchers are worth and he's selling them on the godless internet. Who's checking Facebook marketplace for one of those? Yeah, those are my questions. Yeah, he's selling them to other funeral homes. Worshburn McCreeby funeral home.

I can always duck into my Ray Christensen imitation, Josh, if you want me to, if we're desperate. Yeah, I like to hear it. Whart Golden Gopher Basketball is brought to you by Warshburn McCrevey Funeral Home. Now, if you listen to Golden Gopher Football and Basketball back in the day, you know one. thing. That's spot on. There's one right by my house and I think of your impression every single time I drive by it, Nick. You know what, Dana? Yeah. That's going to get me through the rest of this

day. Is it? Yeah. Okay. I appreciate that. Of course. That reminds me of that. Were you doing that family guy bit? Oh my God, dude. I love that. Family guy bit. Where Joe gets a compliment from Brian. You brought it up before, so I thought you were just recreating that bit. Oh, I'm sure. I'm stealing that line from

something, I just don't know what. Where Brian compliments him, and then Stewie says, hey, go back and say this, something mean. I can't remember the exact quote. I'd have to hear the bit. I got to find that. Oh, it's so funny. He goes, oh. You weren't being serious? I really needed that today.

Oh, yeah. Let's see if this is... Yeah, sometimes I'm not aware of the source. Everything okay in there? I heard shouting. Dog, answer it. Tell him, yes, everything's fine. Yes, Joe. Everything's fine. Oh, okay. Good. Say, I bet you can't get a boner. I bet you can't...

Maybe that's not the right one. I think that was the right one. Neither is your mother's ass. Well, I'll give you that one. Now tell him you've always thought he was handsome. I've always thought you were handsome. Well, I'm going to tell you, Brian. I'm relieved to hear you say that.

Please call me if you see any sign of Stewie. Tell him, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Just kidding about the handsome thing. Oh, come on. Do it. Come on. That meant a lot to him. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Just kidding about the handsome thing. Ah, well, that. That's disappointing. I needed that boost today. Poor Joe. Dude can't catch a break. Never. I'll tell you what.

All right. What else is going on here with today's stupid news report? Oh, well, some people are just simply cracked totally and thoroughly out of their ever-loving minds, like this character in Nashville, Tennessee. I don't know what he did to get himself kicked smooth out of his neighborhood Walmart, but he did. And his next move was to go ahead and steal a Krispy Kreme donut truck out the Walmart parking lot. Some poor kid, the new guy that day, he was manning the Krispy Kreme donut truck all by himself for the first time in that wall. parking lot, he ducked out the vehicle to burn one real quick, and the truck gets snatched. That sucks.

Try explaining that one to the boss. But anyways, local law enforcement saw the Creammobile heading off into the woods. So, Nutjob again, to summarize, Nutjob gets thrown out of Walmart. He steals the Krispy Kreme van truck out of parking. lot and he heads off for the woods. Cops followed him there. When they caught up to the truck and brought it to a halt,

that's where they were able to have a conversation with the utterly insane dude who had stolen it, a fella called Abdul. And don't expect any of this to make sense. Because it doesn't.

Abdul told the cops that he was on a quest and had to win the contest because everything was free. Oh no. Cops asked him what stealing the Krispy Kreme truck had to do with this quest of his. Abdul simply said he needed to accomplish the objective. At first, Abdul refused to identify himself as Abdul.

He would only refer to himself as the professor. He also spent some time laughing and singing out loud. I don't want to wait, he's saying, for my life to be over. Law enforcement thinks that Abdul might have been destroyed on hard street dope, along with being genuinely bat dick crazy at the same time. I do kind of wonder what drug does this to a person. You don't want to know.

I think you've got to be a little crazy to begin with, right? Right? That doesn't seem like your average meth or something like that to me. This guy was nuts. And they dumped, he dumped something into his system that amplified it. That's how I would add it up. Yeah, I think he was halfway there without the narcotics or whatever he was on. Did we cover this? It says here just a few months ago of team of team, makes no sense. Just a few months ago, a team of crooks in Egypt of all places, they, Upton stole 231 pounds of frozen chicken from the back of a truck.

And then last week or two weeks ago, there was that truckload of Papp's Blue Ribbon that we told you about. I don't know. I'm still running with the crowd that believes we should have to pay for things. I agree with you. I realize things are expensive, but it doesn't give you a free pass. Ah, crispy cream. Are they still knocking it out of the park or what?

I mean, where do you even get them now? Gas stations? I think they just open one somewhere. They did. It's in Fridley. Yeah, that's right. I saw the news story. Again, there was a huge swarm of people there on opening day. Not sure how it's still rolling because wasn't that kind of the case when they first came out?

Everybody went buck wild about them and then. Oh, yeah, we did a live broadcast from one. And then they kind of just were gone. I think they're still doing pretty good. They also have, I don't know when the donuts were made or if it's like the same day. But I do know at Target they sell the donuts too. And I was overhearing somebody talk about how they, drop them off like every morning.

Oh, really? New donuts. Yeah, so they're like, they're as fresh as they can be. Yeah, and you could get them in a couple retailers. So they have one open and Fridley now, like a standalone.

Yeah, I think they're still doing pretty good though because they're doing those cool bits where, you know, there's like a seasonal menu and people love that. Oh, do they have a pumpkin spice donut, Ashley? Yeah, I like it. They get me with that stuff too. You never forget the pinnacle of your broadcasting career,

and that was when Josh and I broadcasted live from the grand opening. of Krispy Cream. A lot of people still talk about that. You know, when you guys talk about that, that don't sound too bad. It was horrible. Are you insane? Donuts, though. Come on. The babes must have been off the charts. You can get donuts

closer to the studio, Ashley. That's true. Now this No offense to Krispy Cream. This is nothing against Krispy Cream. We're out there at four in the morning in a parking lot. Was it all, was it Dewey still? Is it that early where the grass was still wet? We hate all

on location. broadcasts, all of them. And I know one of these might be saying, but what about that? No, we hated all of them. And yeah, Josh is telling the truth. We're broadcasting in a parking lot, pitch dark. I think we had a couple of flashlights going. We're trying to do a freaking live broadcast.

Of course, you know, the company didn't bring the right this or the right that. We're in the dark. We got flashlights. You know, sometimes they'll have a tent. No tent. No. Trying to broadcast. Now, one thing I will say, what was

memorable was the cars were lined up for miles. You could see headlights. Was this Maple Grove? You could see headlights all the way to Kimball, Minnesota lined up to, I'm telling you, that part was kind of fun to be a part of. Like, this was incredible. There were TV cameras there filming everybody. Do you remember the line of cars? Oh, it was outrageous. To get a bucket of donuts, I couldn't believe my eyes. And then, of course, you know, we had your average broken, disjointed live broadcast, you know, on location broadcast. The only other thing that I take away from that experience was I ran into, this is 20 years ago, while we were hanging out there at Krispy Kreme, I ran into a dude I hadn't seen

since high school, Donnie. And I will say the first thing I noticed about Donnie was he put on a little bit of weight since high school. Hey, Donnie, how you doing? Hey, man, how are you? time. Donnie was there to be a part of the very first crispy cream here in town. He wanted to be there. The fun part was my regular pack of friends after this event, they kept running into Donnie. And one of them walked up and said, hey, man, haven't seen you a while. You know,

Bourne says he saw you at the Krispy Kreme. Yeah, I saw him at the Krispy Kreme. And then a week later, one of my other friends ran into Donny and said, hey, man, Born saw you at the Krispy Kreme. Yeah, he did. We talked at the, and then another week later, a guy walks up and says, hey, boy, how have I heard your name lately? Oh, yeah, Nick said he saw you at the, yeah, he saw me at Craig. Yeah, I get it. I'm fat now. I get it. He saw me at Krispy Cream, okay? And I'm fat now. I was in line for donuts, born, saw me. I get it. I'm overweight. I could see how a person might snap out of that. He thought everybody was picking on him by saying, hey, were you at the Krispy?

creeped it born so many boxes did you get okay okay okay I'm fat and that wasn't what I meant at all I like Donnie we all do all right where are we oh yeah you thought your dad was a dick let me tell you this here we are back in Japan again Josh we got to go one of these days Here's a world that I know absolutely nothing about. A father and son team that decided to up and climb effing Mount Fuji. Why in hell would anyone do that? I have no idea. Unless I'm running for my life.

Even then I wouldn't think to. That's just silly. A father and son team who decided to go ahead and climb Mount Fuji. Dad is, I don't know, 38 or something. The son is seven. Whoa. And they are going to go ahead and climb Mount F. Me running sideways Fuji, which just so happens to be a hell of a deal.

That ain't Buck Hill. No, that's insane that a seven-year-old is going to try that. I'm worried about their safety. I understand that Mount Fuji will kill you dead if you're not careful. So says here, the dad is in a piss load of trouble. says here his little ungrateful seven-year-old son got tired after a while with all that climbing. So the old man just upped and left him behind.

No, dude. I'll grab you on the way back. It's weird that dad never thought a seven-year-old might slow him down. Dad said, you go ahead and be a bitch about this, but I'm going to climb this pig, and I'll catch you on the way back. kid got tired, dad went right ahead without him. And the local Japanese police are now calling dad. They're calling his behavior unacceptable.

Can you imagine what it was like when he got home to mom? He's going to be in the doghouse for a while. No Japanese loving for him for a long time. She was not there when he got home. I can guarantee you that. Now the kid made it quite a ways. it says here at roughly 8,170 feet up that stupid mountain. About five hours from the tippy top is where the kid said,

look, I'm seven. I haven't had a gummy bear or a mountain dew in hours. I can't do this anymore. So they were close. That was where the old man told the kid to stay put. It sounds like the kid was freezing his little pills off for a few hours when luckily some other mountain climber Jabroni found the kid just setting there out in the elements. Wait, is that a kid? Yeah.

The climber took the kid to some type of grass hut or something that had been built along the way where idiots can rest up for a while on their way up the mountain. they gave him his mountain do, they gave him his gummy bears. Someone found dad on the mountain and told him to get his ass back down there and take care of his frigging kid. The kid was fine, cold, wet, tired, pissed off. And like Josh said, I do wonder what mom is going to make of all this. She might cut his pecker off for him. Oh, yeah.

It's probably a combination, but I wonder if this guy's a bigger douchebag or just more a oblivious than the average person. It's got to be a combo, I guess. I don't know. The Japanese, you know, they're different. They, you know, I don't know. Maybe they think of their children differently than we do. Yeah. More expendable?

Well, more expendable. I was thinking maybe once you hit five in Japan, your parents are like, well, you're grown up now. Do something with your life. I don't know. We've done all we can do. Yeah, I don't know how they operate there. But the Mount Fuji Police Force, said after this nightmare was over that hikers should always,

this is good advice now, Josh, even if you and I are just walking down the sidewalk together. It says here, always match your plans to the slowest, weakest member of the group. Yes. That is good advice. Yeah, so even just walking across town, you should keep in mind, okay, if someone's a little slower and a little weaker, let's compromise for them. they said ditching a child on Mount Fuji is not an option. When the cops got a hold of the old man and talked to him face to face, he said,

I made a rash decision and I deeply regret it. But he also went on to say, I almost made it to the top, you guys, though. Did you see that? I was almost there. You guys blue-balled me. You see that? I was almost.

Remember when you guys found me, I was up to the... Seven years old. kids over there shivering with his pound puppies blanket or something. I don't know what do... Am I on the right track? Do the kids love pound puppies? Maybe throwing a bluey or something like that.

I think kids like blueie. Not giving anybody a bluey. Is it Mount Fugee? Fugee, yes, that's how you say. Yes, Mount Fugge. Don't people like practice for a while? Like, you know, like how people practice when they climb big mountains, they get prepared.

I'm going to tell you something. Yeah. So what in the world was, I just, what in the world was he thinking? I don't know how people prepare for a climb of Mount Fugee. Is this kid all right? Yeah, he's all right. Like I said, he's got his pound puppy blanket. He's got his peewee's playhouse stocking cap and his care bears.

Yeah. He doesn't want to climb a mountain. His slinky. Oh, sending a slinky down Mount, what'd you call it? Fugee? Mount Fugy would be pretty sweet. That would be fun. See if it goes the whole way.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how they do things over there. Maybe they're tougher on their children. What, you're seven? You can't climb a friggin' mountain with your old man? Wake. I don't know. Sports.

On the 93-X half-assed morning show. Yeah, our quick little sports update here is brought to you by Hogbauer Automotive, 3rd Avenue and Main Street. And I'd like to dedicate this sports report to the newest member of the puppyhood. and that would be Buxton. Oh, cool name. Yeah, very cool name. A listener has sent us pictures of his brand new puppy.

So cute. Buxton, he's very cute. He looks like maybe he got hit on the head. But anyway, Buckston, this is for you, pal. Thank you for sending in pictures of your puppy. Oh, by the way, Josh, a minute ago we were talking about this dad in Japan who upped and decided that he and his seven-year-old son should climb by. by damn Mount Fuji in Japan, which is, I don't know, the fifth or sixth tallest mountain in the entire world.

Dad decided he and his son, who's seven, should walk up to the top of the sunbit. And the kid gave way after a while. And the dad abandoned him there because, of course, his ultimate goal is to get to the tippy top, and he can tell everyone what a pimp he is. He abandoned his son on a mountain. The kid almost froze to death. They found him. They fed him.

The kid is fine. a listener text he did while we were telling that story and he said, sure, that makes perfect sense. One guy lets his son climb a death trap of a mountain and almost nobody bats

an eye. But I let my boy take one sip of beer and now everybody wants to come knocking at my door with protective surfaces. It's not fair, is it, brother? Child protective of services was at the door. You want to explain that?

I can't. He can't explain it. Different country, different rules. Speaking of our new puppy buxton out there in the puppy hood, the twins have lost three of their last four. Since we last talked on air about the twins yesterday, they lost five, four to the Detroit Tigers. Yeah. You seem a little pessimistic. It's about...

She's cooked. Yeah, probably. Probably creeping towards over. They'll play again tonight. That Harrison Smith dude has agreed to work for the Vikings again. Jesus Christ. That's cool. That was a big day in our house.

Yeah, your wife's got a crush. Oh, my gosh, more than a crush. I saw a few Harrison Smith jerseys at the Creed show. I don't know if you guys noticed those. No, I like the guy. Don't get me wrong. It's just like the longest friggin. Yeah, he did draw it.

What do they call it in the business? What do we watch on television? We used to watch them like a soap opera type thing, this thing. That's what it's been, Josh, a soap opera. It has. Finally, before we go, people have been giving us a heads up so far this morning on all the events going on this weekend. Jesus, all over the state of Minnesota, even into Wisconsin. There's all kinds of fun fall events and town parties and demolition derbies and motorbike races and haydays and this and that.

People have been telling us on the text machine that just because the state fair is over doesn't mean the fun time. have to come to an end. There's all kinds of things happening. Here's one that we missed out on last time we talked about it, Josh. In River Falls, Wisconsin, the Wisconsin College Rodeo. Oh, cool. What's that? Showdown. Do they say? What do you mean, what's that? Is it just a rodeo? College.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, what's the difference? Just it's college kids as opposed to, you know, fully grown adults, I guess. So it's that simple. Yeah, as far as I know. College Olympic games or if they were being silly with the terms. You didn't know if rodeo was a legit term. Oh, I understand now. I'm imagining it's a real.

Yeah, the college. Yeah, look at it up. It's a real rodeo. Do you think I'm too old for a college gal rodeo athlete? You might be getting up there. There's nothing that I can. Josh's news is coming up next. The 93X half-assed morning show.

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The beginning of the school year at West Virginia High School was quite eventful, but not for the reasons one might expect. Unless you expected, the principal was moonlighting as a hidden camera installer in girls' locker rooms. The principal. If that's the case, you nailed it. And when they go to school, they have an absolute right to feel safe and protected. and that didn't happen here. The academic year at Brooke High School in Wellsburg, West Virginia

kicked off of the real bang. The bang was the sound of the principal's career hitting rock bottom. The principal. That's right. 53-year-old future inmate Eric James, now updating his resume to read former principal, was suspended by school administrators last week

after officials discovered recording devices pervertedly placed in multiple locker rooms. Perrault did not waste any time. school year started. He thought, yep, let's get it done. He wanted to do it. Yeah. You know how like some teachers will go in and they'll put up little decorations in the class? He was installing these cameras just to be ready for school. Officials said four devices were found in the female physical education locker rooms, including a separate locker room and another dressing area used by the school's dance team.

He had placed four devices, one of which looked like a key fob in another room, a USB charger-style device and another device were taken into custody. Both had a hidden. cameras that were running. Removing the devices took a small army to scrub the campus of the high-tech peeping Tom operation, and then they paid a house call to the Deadbeat's place where they found even more hidden gear. He was charged Thursday with multiple felony counts. Who's the new principal? They haven't introduced them, but hopefully whoever it is is a little less tech savvy. Yeah. Do you not operate a camera? No, you're the guy. Operato what? Well, that is. is absolutely unbelievable.

If you've been expecting a visit from the Trinity County Sheriff's Office, please be aware one of its deputies is likely covered in fear pee. A Trinity County Sheriff's deputy in East Texas went viral after a video captured his embarrassing reaction to a deer he thought was dead, only to discover the deer was very much alive and very much ready to make him an unwitting internet star. And he had no idea that was coming. Around 11 p.m. August 28th, the deputy approached the seemingly lifeless deer with a flashlight, and then the animal suddenly sprang into action.

The deputy immediately sprang into action, too, in the opposite direction, unleashing a high-pitched scream as he ran. That sounds like something out of a movie. It does. It's awake, the terrified officer cried out between high-pitched screams. After giving the deputy the fright of his life, the ghost of Bambi made a quick escape into the woods, disappearing into the dead of the night.

They know what they're doing, those frigging deer. To his credit, the deputy made a quick recovery and laughed off the initial shock just a few seconds later. Okay, we're good, the cop said, chuckling. Just another night where anything can happen, the sheriff said. The video had plenty of people laughing, with some saying they'd never laugh so hard, watching a deputy's reaction.

Others, however, had a more serious question. Why was the deer lying motionless on the side of the road in the first place? That's how they get you. Fortunately, there was a happy ending. We are happy to report the deer was only stunned and got back on its feet after a few minutes, the sheriff said in an update Thursday. And just to be clear, another potential important question, we can officially confirm there will be no deer meat served at the Trinity County Jail tonight,

the sheriff joked. hilarious I can't imagine once you realize oh no this is public information this is getting out I'd like to believe that I wouldn't make a similar sound

but I probably would Oh 100% That would be absolutely terrifying You know guys I was just kidding I knew it was on camera Too late bro Yeah You're in some trouble

When somebody starts swinging A sharpened wooden stick at a fast food restaurant in California. You don't call Spider-Man. You call Spatula Man. Anybody who goes into a restaurant waving around a wooden baseball bat just coming in there looking for trouble,

you're going to find trouble. And they found trouble. A man's being praised for fending off a maniac terrorizing an in-and-out burger armed with nothing but a spatula. The SoCal Showdown was captured on camera by another drive-through customer who watched it all unfold.

She started filming after a young man in the car in front of her yelled to the woman inside, get the F out of there. The young man was 20-year-old Luca Opperman. Luca. Former gymnast and freestyle trampoline athlete who also teaches parkour. Does he live on the second floor? Of the apartment building or wherever they lived? Yeah.

He lives upstairs from you. It's an old song in the, I think it was 89 or 90. My name is Luca. That song always kind of creep me out. It's so weird. Yeah, you're weird. I know. It turned out to be surprisingly useful when the same thing.

situation went from burger run to bat crap crazy. Using his agility, Opperman jumped in the restaurant and out his car, flying feet first through the in-and-out drive-thru window. Really? One and seven. Hell of an athlete. Yeah. They said he's also like, yeah, I mentioned the trampoline thing.

I mentioned the parkour. Yeah. I mentioned the former gymnast. He played, not rugby. What's the one I always got? La Crosse. Or maybe it was rugby. He's got a lot of stuff going on.

This is the bad guy with the baseball bat? This is the good guy going after the bad guy who's actually a lady. Oh. So he grabbed a metal spatula and went to confront the angry woman who was yelling and swinging around a large wooden stick with a sharpened end. Most of the employees had already retreated to the back room fearing for their safety. I just hear super loud banging coming from the inside of the lobby. I then look up and I see this lady overhead smashing what looked like a baseball bat. Witnesses said the woman was upset because the wait for her burger.

was too long, so she went nuclear on Opperman, attempting a beating over beef. Spatula raised and possessing zero fear, Opperman moved into confront her, but she responded by taking multiple swings at him. Seeing that she remained combative, he decided to lunge at her and remove the stick from her hands. Next in line in the dark view, he jumps through the window, like Spider-Man moves or like Jackie Tyne moves or feet first through the window, and he started battling this lady. She had chased, I guess, all the staff into some back room, but this kid, like, totally saved the big. So, in and out, it would be cool if you give him burgers for life.

And just like that, a former trampoline athlete became the unlikely protector of the in-and-out. The internet wasted no time, crowning him a legend. A lot of people don't have the balls to stand up for others, or even themselves these days. I give the kid mad props, one commenter wrote. Another summed up what most people were already saying, yeah, burgers for life for this young. man, this is the way. This is the way. For some reason, dropping a Mandalorian line to seal the deal.

Yeah, eight times out of ten, Covey. I'm betting on the character with the baseball bat. Yeah, you'd think most people would just kind of wait for the cops, but he said, not today, lady, not today. And his name is Luca. His name is Luca. Should you ever find yourself arguing with 22-year-old Irvin Joaquin Gutierrez over whose enchiladas are spicier,

just let him win, man. Your life may depend on it. A New Mexico man is accused of shooting his cousin after the two men got into an argument over whose green chili enchiladas were spicier. Turns out both of them were packing heat that night. One guy's enchiladas and the other guy's Glock. According to the Albuquerque Police Department, Gutierrez had driven from Roswell to cook dinner with the victim and another cousin. Soon after his arrival, A drunken argument broke out when Gutierrez began antagonizing the victim, claiming that the chili and his enchiladas was too hot, a real beehole blazer. As the argument escalated, the men's other cousins suggested they take the family dogs for a walk,

so tempers could cool. But things got so fated, Gutierrez and the victim began fighting. The cousin bloodied Gutierrez with a punch. Then Gutierrez sat down his taco, picked up his glaco, and confronted his cousin, shouting, we're family. How could you do this to me? The cousin attempted to walk away from the confrontation, but Gutierrez fired.

The following day, he surrendered. Police say an investigation is ongoing. That's terrible. What a dumb thing to get in a fight about. Yeah, it's one of those where they've probably been fighting over something for a long time, and that was too much. But you're right. What a dumb thing to get in a fight about.

It kind of reminded me a friend of mine. She was chaperoning her son's field trip, sons in second grade. And during lunch at the Science Museum, the boys were arguing over who eats the most lunch meat. No, I eat more meat than you. No, I do. Can you guys think of the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

That's a tough one. That's a tough one, Cuddy. Nope. Where you realize, I can't believe we're fighting over this. Might have to give me some time on that one. Yeah. Dumbest thing I've ever gotten in a fight over. I don't know.

Maybe people can text us, 651, 989, 93, the dumbest thing you've ever gotten to a fight over. When I was younger, I love to argue. I think you still like to argue. I'm sure the list is long. Yeah, but when I was younger, it was just about at every turn. Before the gold chains, Mohawk and Hollywood fame of the EA team and Rocky 3, there was Lawrence Turrow.

Now streaming on Netflix, untold Mr. T, I pity the fool. The origin story of how Lawrence Trudeau, Turo, excuse me, became one of the most unlikely and beloved icons in entertainment. So where did the name Mr. T come from? David Letterman asked him that question more than 40 years ago, and the answer was all about R-E-S-P-E-C, Mr. T. Please welcome Mr. T. First of all, is that your real name?

If Pope John Paul II was coming, would you ask him what his real name was? Well, but you have to, it's an interesting name, Mr. T. Right, well, I changed it because I wasn't given respect before. You know, people have a tendency. I always constantly call a man, boy, for what reason, I don't know why. You know, so I changed my name and Mr. T's so the first word out of everybody's mouth be Mr. the sign of respect. Then do you have a first name?

My first name is Mr. My middle name is the period. Middle name is the period. I pity the fool who's behind Netflix's new Mr. T documentary because the star tore into it, branding it garbage. Oh, really? And accusing the streamer of dropping the ball on his story. Mr. T said it was garbage? Yeah, he did.

I was going to watch that damn thing. Yeah, I still want to watch it. The documentary pissed me off because they didn't cover a lot of stuff, Mr. T said. When I saw it, I was like, what the heck? It's garbage. You build me up, then you try and punk me out, he added. Well, that sucks. For its part, Netflix insists their plan did come together,

as Mr. T signed off on the final product, despite his very public roasting that he's now giving it. I did see it's only like 45 minutes long. I feel like we need more than 45 minutes to tell the story of Mr. T. For one of the greatest Americans who's ever lived, absolutely. Josh, it sounds like it's up to you to make a decent Mr. T documentary. Shoot, I do love the guy enough. He said, you know, they filmed so much.

And one of his quotes was they talked to his pastor, I think, for like a few hours. And they put maybe 30 seconds in. And the pastor had a lot to say about him because he knew him forever. And they said they kind of pointed to some, sorry, I catch you off there. No. He said they pointed to some stuff that made him look like a diva, and it wasn't like diva choices he was making. They just kind of made it look like it.

So he was pretty disappointed. I'm sorry to hear all that because the man deserves everything. I agree. He comes across like a great individual, and certainly his story is very interesting. Well, I'm not going to watch it then. If Mr. T didn't like it, then I'm not supporting it at all. All right, then maybe I won't watch it either. Don't do it.

David Arquette's 55 today. thanks to M1A1 Abrams Jesus, a retired Marine and returning listener to the show, which we sure appreciated. He wanted to appreciate. He wants to send in a shout to the military, first responders, and others who keep us safe. And we echo that. Happy belated birthday to Packrat Jesus' son, Connor, getting his license today after turning 16 yesterday. And that's 93X News. Randy Shaver.

On the half-assed morning show. That's not just the ass man. Randy Shaver and C. Willie Miles join us for our first broadcast after a wonderful Labor Day off. How are you, Randy Shaver? I'm good. C. Willie Miles. You enjoyed another sold-out live show this past weekend. Yes, sir, Ree Bob. We got some texts saying they went, they loved it. A couple of them was their first time.

And somebody sent in a picture of a toilet with the seat up, said a reference to a joke you told, said his girlfriend left it that way for him. Oh, my gosh, she's a sweetheart then. I do this bit about how women always complain about men leaving the bathroom, seat up all the time. I said, did it ever occur to you that you go to the bathroom? Did it ever occur to you to think, you know what? I'm going to leave the seat up for him. And if you do that, you're a keeper. Wow.

Good question. Yeah. Because we do sometimes leak the seat up, but not all the time. No. Like they complain like we do it all the time. Leave that seat up for us once in a while. And the guy walk in and see the seat is up and he'd be like, wow. And he knew he didn't leave it up.

Very thoughtful. I never even considered such a thing. Show us that you care. That's how you get flowers, ladies. Well, that's funny. Yeah, he sent us a picture of the seat up. I love it. He wanted you to know.

I love it. Yeah, a few people have texted in and said they loved your show. That was awesome. I had half the room again, 93-8. It's fabulous, man. I love it. We're glad that it all works out like that. It does.

We love that our listeners support your career. I know. And they send me so many texts and messages on Facebook. It's unreal. And like they said, we just never meant to a comedy show like that. You had one that had bought their daughter. I gave her a nickname. Her name is Elizabeth.

And Elizabeth's only eight. And she was at my show. Oh, yeah? At crooners. That's great. And I said, what's your nickname? And she goes, I don't have one. I said, well, it's Lizzie now.

And you'll go by Lizzie. That's it. Your parents call you Elizabeth. Don't answer. It's Lizzie. It'll make for a great story when she's older. And people say, why do you go by Lizzie? You say, she'll say, see Willie Miles.

That's right. Comedian gave it to him. Oh, cripes. Well, we got lots going on, Randy Shaver and see Willie Miles. I don't know. Anyone got an opinion on the University of Michigan's football team and their big win over Western Michigan over the weekend? Wow.

There's one second remaining in the game. Third down. Deep drop. Going to unload it towards the end zone. Into the crowd. You can't. Do, J. You can't.

What a shame. It was zero seconds left. Absolute shame. What a damn shame. How crooked can you get? Something to leave a. Frigan home cooking, baby. Zero seconds left.

We all saw it. We saw it. Even WWE writers are like, all right, that's a little fishy. That's a little going right before. Nobody's going to believe that storyline. What's going to believe. What a friggin scam.

My God. They somehow decided to give them one more crack at the end zone. Oh, no, no, there's another second left in there. You see the kid's hand touched the ball and it was this, that. Right. What a crockish that was. That was bogus. Got a great fact for you on that ball game.

It's not going to mean anything. Yes, it will, Randy Shaver. The final race for playoff, Michigan's not going to make. They're not that good. Oh, okay. That's what you mean by? Yeah. Okay.

It was still straight up, smooth, full-on, four-alarm highway robbery. Yes. But Randy's right, though. Michigan hasn't been the same since legendary quarterback J.J. McCarthy at school. They have struggled. Shade has come into the room. They've struggled since he left the program. Absolutely.

Indiana has replaced Michigan as a power in the... the big, big 10. And I just don't think Michigan's going to be there. Now listen to this fact. And this dates back to 1869, 1869. Prior to that Western Michigan, University of Michigan game over the weekend, college football teams were 110,352,0 when leading after the end of regulation. Not one of you has followed that joke.

all. All right then. Anyway, medical device Jesus sent that in. I thought that was going to be the hit of the sports conversation this morning and absolute crickets. Should I read it again? Yeah. Going into last night's game, pardon me,

going into that Western Michigan, Michigan game dating back to 1869, college football teams were 110,352 and O when leading after the end of regulation. Love it. The Ann Arbor Astros broke that streak. And medical device Jesus closes out his text by saying it just goes to show you what's possible when you give it your all for 60 minutes and one second. Oh, now I got you.

Oh, my God. Here's another joke that says on November 1st, we will all be setting our clocks back one hour for daylight savings except for Ann Arbor. They'll be setting their clocks back. one hour and one second. I love it. How did the referees make that call? You bastards. That is.

That's insane. Dirty, dirty. And especially, you know, because it's Michigan. If it would have been Ohio State, I would have been probably as disgusted. But, you know, it's Michigan, so it stings a little more. Well, Western Michigan still had a chance to knock the ball down on that last play, too. But there shouldn't have been a last play. Game was over.

No, I agree. But I'm just saying. You know what? I hate that, too, like when I'm golfing and you give a guy a putt, you say, that's good and he puts it anyway. You know what I mean? That's what that was. It's good. That's good. I'm going to put it anyway.

If he miss it, I'm stroking you. Oh, what a kick in the nuts that was. God. All right. Oh, more disasters on the college football level. Last night, Florida State played a home. football game against Southern Methodist University. They lost power at the ballpark.

And there was a damn near, is how you say it. Two hour delay trying to get things up and running again. I think this was on national television. It was. Two frigging hours it took them to get that hamster back on the wheel. Crazy. And even when they got it going again, they were only running, they were running like it was 40, 50, 60 years ago.

The game started up again. The lights went out right before the expected kickoff. Two hours go by. They started up again with a partially lit stadium. The clock was being kept on the field. Like when we were kids, like the players' dads would keep the time. No coach to player communication. No iPads on the sideline.

There was no PA announcer, no scoreboard. Sounds like my kind of ball game, really. back to the old ways, but that sucked for everyone involved. Jesus. Like imagine if our guy Clay Matvick was calling that game, I bet he would have been in just pure misery. You got to fill two hours? Tell you what, though, Florida State,

their past defense last night, maybe they should have turned the lights off completely because even with the lights half on, they still couldn't stop SMU. Oh, you watched the ball game? Yeah, SMU threw the ball, threw for over 400 yards in that game last time. You must have been up late.

I mean, they didn't restart that ball game until like 9.30 p.m. or something like that. Sheifer. Jesus, Shaver's a night owl. He had money on it. Were you gambling? No, I did not have money on it. Oh, okay.

I just happened to be looking for something to watch and that was about the time that I found it. So they were throwing the piss out of the ball? They were. Yeah. Big win for SMU on the road last night. People have been texting in, yes, thank you for reminding me. The Michigan fans storming the field after winning that friggin game. Western Michigan.

Come on. Come on. That was stupid that the crowd pours onto the ballgame. It's game one. You know you shouldn't have won that ball game. But it's, you know, it's different now. You know, in the old days it was if we beat the number one team, we charge the field. Now it's the kids want to get out there so they can be on social media and the whole smear.

Yes, I almost forgot. Thank you for reminding me. That was embarrassing. Okay. It was made official sticking with football. It was made official. Harrison Smith has agreed to work for the Vikings for another football season. It says here, after months of contemplating retirement, all those poor suckers who contemplate

retirement. It'd be nice to have that option, wouldn't it? There ain't going to be no contemplation going on at all for me. I'm out of here as soon as the opportunity shows it so. To contemplate retirement. Do you have any plans on contemplation on that subject, John? I guess it's so far off I haven't really thought about it. Half that.

But I think that's a good spot to be in where you can make that choice. I say, shh, or get off the pot. Stop with the contemplating. So we signed a one-year deal. Yeah, it depends on how much money you're getting. That was uncontemplate it. That's true. How much do you have in order for me to uncontemplate?

Because I'm contemplating right now. Right, and I don't have to show up for, you know, you don't show up for spring practice. You don't come in until the season start. F that. Yeah. Then I'm good. So I don't need all that beating and banging on my body. Just put me in the game for, you know, load management, you know,

third down and you need a nickel back. He played it perfectly. All of them do that. Yeah. Very smart. When you're a veteran player. Eric Rogers, that's what he don't come back. I'll let you know, September.

The twins have now lost three of their last four ball games. Since the last time we talked on air about the twins. Yesterday, the end result was a 5-4 win for the Detroit Tigers. Joe Ryan came back to start yesterday's game. that was nice to see, but the boys are four and a half games out of a playoff spot with 18 ball games left on the schedule. Game two of this year three-gamer with the Tigers begins tonight somewhere's around 5.30.

Right. So if the twins, if 500 is what wins the wild card. Okay. 81 and 81. If that's what it takes, and I'm sure it'll take more than that, the twins will have to go 13 and 5. Okay. which means Cleveland will have to go seven and ten. And then there's three more teams between the twins and Cleveland. Toronto, Texas, and Baltimore. Baltimore.

And actually, Toronto and Baltimore play each other six times over the final 17 games of the year. So those two teams will battle each other. The twins actually get Texas at the end of the year. So there's still baseball left. There's still a chance. So looking at the stats, the twins currently have a 3% chance of making the wild card. So you're saying there's a chance. Remember, though, Detroit, you know, two years ago had a 1% chance or less than 1% chance.

So you can't say never, but. I'm not going to say never just yet. Yeah. It feels like it's over. It does. But I'm not going to call it over. Now you mentioned a couple years ago Detroit did this, that. Yep.

Here's the fun fact of the day, at least for baseball. The twins were seven games back of Detroit on this date in 2009, which led to that infamous game 163 at the old Metro Dome, where Carlos Gomez scored that run at home plate and sent us all into a tizzy. Yep, I was there. I was there, too, seven games back on this date in 2009. Yeah. But the mathematics, Dana mentioned the arithmetic of it all,

According to fan graphs, their chances of earning an AL wildcard spot are getting low. 2.8%. That's how Cubby likes his belk. 2.8%. Needs that extra 8%. A mortgage would be pretty sweet at 2.8%. The chances are dwindling with every loss. Right.

And they've had great opportunities in the last week. and unfortunately we're able to take advantage of it. They honestly could be within like two games. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Two and a half. Replace a couple of those losses. They'd be right there.

Yep. New York Yankees starting pitcher Garrett Cole made big league history by giving up three straight dongs to start the game against the San Diego Padres on Sunday. Now, if that all sounds familiar, Cole also allowed home runs. to the first three hitters on June 9th, 20 and 22, here in town against the Twins. Another game that I was lucky enough to be present. I was at that game, which ended miserably.

The Yankees came back to win the game. But I remember the order. A rise let off with a home run, followed by Buxton, followed by Correa. So the record that Cole set was this. He's the only pitcher to have given up three yard sales to start a ball game multiple times. his career. He's up there like, oh man, not again.

You know, you think after the first two, you just walk the next guy. Give him to heat it, Ricky. Maybe step off the mound and do a lap or something. Really? The game is so weird. It is. That's what makes it fun, though. Of course. Baseball is so different than everything else because just when you think you've seen everything

that can possibly happen. During the course of the year, we will talk about five, six, or seven other things, and we're going to go, wow, how did that happen? Right. How did that not happen over 100 plus years of baseball? So, it's crazy. And of all the pitchers, Garrett Cole,

who's thought of as one of the aces, maybe, I don't know. I mean, I don't follow him that closely, but this guy's one of the most highly, thought of pitchers in baseball, is he not? Yeah, remember, he didn't even start the year. He was still working his way back. He didn't really join their rotation, I don't think,

until like end of April, maybe May. And he's in these eight and eight. So that's the kind of year he's had. It's been very effective. My God. I know, and I was like the other day, like I've never seen an umpire to stop a game to make a guy move his hat.

His hat, yes. We're going there next. I love, no, no, that's fine because I love that story. It's a great story. I had never seen it. But by the way, yeah, Garrett Cole gives up three home runs to start the game against the Padres. He did it also here in town against the twins. I mean, yeah, that is, that's like out of this world.

He's the, you would think, well, here's a guy, you would think some no name would have that record. Here's a twins fan who texted in. Here's a twins fan who goes way back. 651 or to 715, Jesus said, to me, he said it feels like Brad Radke would have had that record. He always dialed it back, though, after giving up that lead off on the run, he'd always kind of settle in. Oh, absolutely. That's what was so special about Brad Radke. He would get thumped in the first inning.

First pitch. And then still the some bitch would go nine. Yeah. My mother-in-law used to see him come up on the mound and go, oh, I'm just going to go make cookies. Yeah. And somehow it's come back and he's won the game. If you miss the first couple of innings of a Brad Radke's start, you usually didn't miss anything good.

Exactly. But that's where the guy was so good. I do miss pitchers like Brad Radke. They just don't make him like that anymore. He's one of my all-time favorites. He's cut different. This hat story was one of the most fun stories from a really bizarre weekend. I mean, we talked about the Western Michigan, Michigan thing.

There's a couple more things we're going to talk about that are just, effing. It just ain't right. Home-played umpire Doug Eddings acted like a dick during the Cardinals Rocky game this past Friday night. First off, he demanded that Cardinals pitcher, a rookie, by the way, making his Major League Baseball debut, a rookie by the name of Hensel Rincon. Eddings demanded the Cardinals pitcher, Rincon, Eddings demanded that Rincon, who was wearing a crooked hat like C.C. Sabathia style. Absolutely. Eddings demanded that Rincones straightened his hat because, quote,

no one's going to wear a hat like that on my field, he said. If that's in fact what happened, if Doug Eddings behind the plate was telling Rincon to fix his hat, that is a flat out embarrassment. That is not his job to do. He's not wearing his hat backwards. This wasn't a uniform violation. Well, sometimes umpires think it's their game, their field. It's not.

Yeah, he wasn't wearing a racing helmet. He wasn't wearing a pointy clown hat. It wasn't that tilted. He must have a bad day, I guess. Bad mood. But I like how the manager came on stood up for his guy. Cardinals manager came out and said, what are you a friggin idiot or something?

Right. What's the matter with you? Quite honestly, I thought it was pretty embarrassing. on his end. We have a kid making his debut and in between a net bat, he tells him that he needs to fix his hat and the kid's not going to wear his hat like that on my field. So last I checked, this was course field.

I took issues with it. I thought they handled it poorly and I'd like an explanation at some point. Apparently, everyone's talked to everyone and apologize and this and that. Then this Eddings guy blows a call at home plate. That was ridiculous. Blows a call at home plate and that's when

the Cardinals manager just completely bust at a spring gets thrown out. But that wasn't even close. No, it wasn't. He was just like, you know what? I'm already, you guys are already mad at me, so here, take this. It may have been a little revenge, I don't know. Right. The fun part is the following night,

I love it. Players from both clubs, both the Cardinals and Rockies, wore their caps crooked in protest of Doug Eddings and his butt-lord attitude from the, night prior. Right. I thought that was great. And he was on the third baseline the next night. Taking his medicine the entire time. Exactly. Yeah. And as he should. Some guys even tilted their batting helmets. Just to tell this Eddings guy to kiss their ass. Right. Like, bro. Like, wait, like, this is your first

major league game? Have you not seen Major League baseball? Just to stick up his ass. That was, that was embarrassing, man. When you do that on TV like that in front of all those fans and all the people that are watching. This is this kid's Major League debut, and his mom and dad are probably watching. He's getting scolded by, he told the catcher to go tell him. Yeah.

Didn't even have the balls to tell him himself. I saw some fun comments from baseball fans online. Interesting thought here. One comment said, I think managers, managers should be able to fight the umps. That would be kind of cool, like a hockey fight. Just like a hockey fight. Can you imagine back in the day if like Earl Weaver could go fight?

That would be hilarious. Well, let me ask you now. Tommy the sword. Name me a baseball manager, and you can go far back as you want. Name me a baseball. Oh, I got one in mind. My question was going to be, name me a baseball manager who you think could legitimately whoop ass. My first thought, Lou Pinella.

That's exactly where I was going. I bet you Lou Panella, when he was young, you put him in an octagon, he'll tear anybody's legs off for him. And you know what? I'll throw him my man, Garty in there. Gardy, you think he could throw hands? Oh, God, yeah. He ran so hot.

Yeah. Who is the guy of St. Louis? Herzog? Whitey Herzog? No, no. Well, you said Tony Larusa a minute ago. Yeah. You think he could fight?

No. I don't think Tony could fight. Yeah, Tony could fight. You think so? Who was the, oh, gosh, who was the White Sox guy that we love? Ozzy Gehan. Ozzy. Ozzy.

Yes. Not a big guy, but I bet you, you mentioned Earl Weaver was five foot six. Right. But I bet he could fight like a dog. I bet you Ozzy Gean could fight. Yeah. Why, Billy Martin could do him. Billy Martin was not a big guy, but I wouldn't.

Oh, I wouldn't want to get in a fist fight with a young Billy Martin. He won't quit. Nope, nope. You could bloody him and he would still be chewing on your elbow or something like that. Yeah. Get that Freddie Cougar by. Here's a good one. Hal McRae, a texture.

Hal McRae. He's a guy who had the meltdown with his telephone. Yes. I'll throw Mike Sosha in there. He's a former Major League. player. Yeah, but he seems so lighthearted and, uh, thinking about guys that are good-sized guys. Don Baylor.

Don, that's who I was thinking of. Don Baileyler. Or Dusty Baker. Jim Leland wasn't a big guy, but I bet he could fight. Joe Girard. People are texting in all there. Yeah. Man, we know Don Zimmer couldn't fight.

No. Oh, man. Frigan Pedro just picked him up and dumped them right on his fat head. Oh, that was hilarious, but sad at the same time. Oh, the look on Don Zimmer's face. After Pedro dumped him on his head, he couldn't believe it. He was in total shock. Pedro had no choice.

What else was he going to do? Toss that old Jurassic sum bitch over the first baseline and let's get back to business here. That's a fun topic. I know we're forgetting some obvious ones. What manager do you think really could fist fight? Fat Moose Jesus says, Ozzie Gion would be like. like a psychotic badger. Yeah.

You think Ron Washington could fight? He could smoke cigarette. Yeah. He's fighting with a heater dangling out of his mouth. Ron was a lover, not a fighter. Ron could smoke and he could swear. Ron's still around. Isn't he I love Ron Washington?

Yes, he is. But I know he was sick recently. A couple years ago, he was. That's why he had to leave baseball. Yeah. Ooh. Ooh, good one. I bet you Paul Molitor can fight.

He seems so nice. Well, he does, but Paul's been ripped from the time he was two. He's still built. Paul Mallor. Yeah, here's a guy, referee Rob Page, local living legend. He said, Jim Leland would put cigarettes out in your eyes. He'd do anything to get that win. That's great.

What about Joe Torre? Joe Torrey? Joe Torrey? No, he was so frumpy. Yeah, but he was... I know he grew up in the Bronx and all that. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. He's got that vibe, man.

When he was young, he probably could. Yeah, he had some connections. He knew some people. Oh, yeah. Pete Rose, I bet he could fight. Oh, yeah, scrappy Pete. Pete was nuts. All right.

He was a gut puncher, too. He wouldn't hit you to the head, just a gut. Just body blow, body blow, body blow. Right in the damn breadbasket. Right. Now, another interesting baseball. story here. Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher, Luke Weaver. He was acquired, oh, about a month ago by the pirates. He was having, I think, a really good year with the New York metropolitan's, so the pirates

thought he could help them out, and it's been garbage. But Weaver has an interesting story that might explain why things have gone down the toilet. He says he's had a hell of a severe case of poison ivy. Here that's miserable. You know what? I don't think I ever got Poison Ivy as a kid. I haven't either. I did. You did?

Oh, yeah. I grew up in Alabama. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember anything about it? Was it brutal? Oh, yeah. It is, wellty, rashy, itchy, crazy. Yeah, buddy of mine had it, and it was miserable.

It is. He said it was so painful. I guess I've never had too many experiences in my life where I would be somewhere where Poison Ivy was located. Didn't really spend a lot of time in the woods or outside or doing that type of stuff. So here's the deal. This Weaver character. He says the pirates took a road trip to Miami back in the middle of August.

He said he brushed up against a bush and his body went into a really bad state, hives all over his body. He hasn't slept in a month, he says. He can't sleep from this poison eye. Ivy. Can you put something, I've never had it. Can't you put like a topical or something? Yeah, the old song by Faster Pussycat, Josh, called Poison Ivy. You mentioned Callanine in the song.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Poison Ivy, you've been creeping up right behind me. You make me itch. Baby, you're so unkind, they said in that hit single from 19 and 90. Faster Pussy Cat. Love that song. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I've never heard of anything like that before involving Poison Ivy. So this guy is miserable. Can you imagine how badly you be climbing the walls if you haven't gotten a good night's sleep in 30 days? I was when sunburned so bad I couldn't sleep at night for a few days. That sucks too. It was just so painful. Just to be clear, if he hasn't slept in 30 days,

that's not just parts of the 90. I don't know what he's got. That doesn't last that long. Oh, he says it still got him, and it's so uncomfortable he can't sleep. I'd be walking the streets in the nude or something like that. You go nuts. I mean, you, anybody would.

I'd put on like a masturbation show at a bus stop or something. Oh, my God. It'd be terrible, yeah. If I haven't slept. I don't think you're the only one there doing that either. Oh, yeah. Join the club. You're here to masturbate, too?

I'd like to think I could last a month, but I'd probably do that a lot sooner than a month. So I can understand. Masturbated the bus station you're talking about. Randy, I'd bond with the others who were already in the middle of it. Hey, you got poison ivy too? No. You folks need a close.

are here. I'll wrap it up. I'm just pointing out you won't be the only one. No, no, I know that. Yeah, it's a bus stop or whatever I said, a bus station. I have my own corner. I'd be climbing the walls, peering in windows and whatnot. Just to watch other people sleep. Really, really sad news. Smack dab here in the middle of our conversation. We're having laughs up and down. I would feel terrible if I didn't throw this into the mix, despite it being really bad news. Well, first off, an older, beloved television wrestler by the name of Bill Dundee. You're familiar. I know, see Willie, you go way back with the television wrestling. Bill Dundee has passed away at 82 years old. He and Jerry Lawler had great rivalries and also

paired up as a team way, way back in the day. I mean, Bill Dundee started in the 60s. that he got into a career booking, and I think he did a lot of booking for WCW into the 90s. Hall of Famer passed away. But you know how it is in the world of television wrestling. When a guy passes away in his 80s, it feels like a win. It feels normal.

And as we all know, so many of these guys die so damn young that it's abnormal. Well, wrestling lost a young character as well in the last couple of days. Andy Williams, who a lot of you probably know if you're an AEW wrestling fan. And when AEW first started, I watched every one of their shows religiously. I loved AEW. I thought it was the superior brand, and I think I'm right about that still to this day. AEW put on such great shows, and two of the best workers they had from the word go was a tag team

called The Butcher and the Blade. Andy Williams, who portrayed the character The Butcher, died in the ring. Well, he had a medical emergency in the ring during a tag match over the weekend in Pennsylvania. The Butcher and the Blade were wrestling. The butcher, Andy, had some kind of medical emergency.

They took him to the hospital and he died. He's only 48 years old. Wow. Wow. Wow. I mean, really, really unfortunate. and sad to, again, lose one of these characters at such a young age. And I'm telling you, if you don't know, the Butcher and the Blade were such solid workers, night in, night out. And a lot of the television wrestling community is, it has taken a knee on this one,

because this one far, far too soon. He was also a heavy metal guy, Josh. He was, he had his own guitar and had his own band. and everything. So I know what a big giant, we all know, what a massive wrestling community we have here in the Twin Cities. Condolences to you, friends of The Butcher, Andy Williams. Now, I was saying, just bizarre, it was a bizarre weekend for sports at all levels. This was supposed to be a huge deal where women's college volleyball, was put on, I think it was Channel 9, National Television.

It was outdoor women's volleyball, college volleyball. They set up to play at Wrigley Field. I was totally unaware of this until I turned it on a couple nights ago. But this was a big gathering, Nebraska and Missouri. Going to face each other, Nebraska's like a powerhouse in college volleyball. they couldn't play the game. Moisture built up on the court. They're playing outside in Chicago.

It was a humid night. They played a few points. Everyone's slipping and sliding. They had to just shut it off. So total disaster here, really, honestly. I mean, they just shut it off. They couldn't play volleyball. They didn't realize Lake Michigan was that close?

I understand earlier in the night, there was a Kentucky and Penn State were able to get through their set or whatever you call it in volleyball. But they already noticed that the court was getting slick. At one point or another, they had 40 or 50 people out there on the floor with towels. Just trying to, but they just had to say, sorry, it's not going to work. You weren't joking about Nebraska being a powerhouse.

They sell out every single game. They got like an 8,000 seat waiting list for tickets. Oh, yeah. It's a big deal down there. That's a huge program. That's impressive. They got 43,000 fans. fans that showed up.

And they were just drinking and having the time of their lives, and they had to just tell everyone to go home. Oh, no, I can't watch volleyball. Not that, anything but that. The Big Ten announced that the game will not be rescheduled at Wrigley Field because it's obvious this was a bad idea. A matter of fact, the coach of Nebraska, a gal

by the name of Danny Bus Boom Kelly. Wow, what a hell of a name. She directly said, this is not what we should be doing. This is silly. Right. So it was a, they thought they could get away with it. It went to hell in a handbasket. Now, they did one of these outside at a Minnesota high school. Oh, yeah? Like last week, I want to say, or the week before, down in Casson.

Wow, yeah. Casson Manderville played outside. And they set up a court on the football stadium. And they had a big crowd. And it was, it turned out well, worked out well. But, you know, it depends on the night. It depends on the weather. There's just a lot of things that can happen. I don't follow volleyball at all. But when I read this story, I read a little further into it, and as they said, when, say, like here in town,

when the University of Minnesota gals compete, and they're always very good also. A couple of my guy friends never miss their matches. They love the – Yeah. When they play at Willa Marina or wherever the hell they play, they're very specific about the air. air temperature and the humidity and all they be because you don't need you don't need that court getting slick no right

maybe ACLs and MCLs hitting folks in the yap sitting in the front row speaking of women's sports another thing that threw me I was looking at the WNBA schedule wondering when the links play again and it said something like September 30th and wait a minute what's going on here September 18th is when they come back they're taking a hiatus for the FIBA World Cup of basketball I had no idea yeah So Team USA is in, where are they? Germany or something? I have no idea. I think that's right, Germany.

And they're playing in this world tournament, and the ladies are already 3 and 0. Mm-hmm. Which they walk through this with barely breaking a sweat, right? Yeah. They had a battle against Italy. They only won by one. The friggin Italians?

Yeah. It was a scrappy. Scrappy, those Italians are scrappy. Yeah. Yeah, it was a physical game. Okay. They squeaked it out, but they blew out. Chechnya?

Yeah. Yeah, they, yeah, by 50 or something. Oh, Jesus. It's crazy. Yeah, I was wondering, is just like when the dudes play in the Olympics? They just mop everybody's... Sort of. Yeah, sort of.

Okay. Well, they was playing, was it China? That sounds right. That girl was like 7 foot three, man. China had a 7 foot three. Oh, yeah, I saw that side-by-side photo of her standing next to a point card. She was standing next to a point guard. Paige.

And Paige. Paige was looking up at her. Yeah, she looks small next one. Yeah. It was crazy. Well, there you go. So if you're looking for women's basketball, I'm not sure who's televising these games,

but Team USA is doing their thing at the Fiba World Cup. And like Randy Shaver said, they'll be back to play the regular WNBA schedule in a couple of weeks. They're looking for. their fifth consecutive World Cup Gold Medal. This is a hilarious idea from the folks at NASCAR.

They want their fans to have a hell of a good effing time during the chase for the 20 and 26 Cup Series championship. They're down to eight or nine races left on the schedule. This is when it gets serious, right?

So from here on out, NASCAR themselves, the bosses, will be putting $5 in a bucket every time a driver swears on the radio. I know that every once in a while, I will tune into that kind of a thing. You can go on a website and they have just the radio communications between the drivers and their spotters and all that, right? And a lot of the guys curse.

It's only natural. They're grown men and women. So, NASCAR. is going to put five bucks in a bucket every time a driver swears on the radio, and fans who correctly predict how many total swear words there will be or whoever comes closest can win the pot. Timberwolves should do that for Anthony Edwards. Similar promotion.

How much has he been fined over that? Oh, he's had a few. A lot. Yeah. They put a mic in his face. He likes to curse. But that is so funny and so creative, I give NASCAR a ton of credit on that one. one cup series driver by the name of Carson

Josevar. He read the post about this contest on social media and responded by simply saying, oh, F. That's appropriate. I wonder if guys try to intentionally juice the pot a little bit. Right, right. Oh, I bet you'd have to. You'd have to. I promise you there's going to be audio of a driver in the next couple of weeks

who just curses up and down just to throw a few more. $5 bills into that bucket. That's funny. So, NASCAR fans, go submit your effing guesses and win some effing money. I wonder how much will be in that frigging pot by the end of the schedule. A lot. I like to swear.

I do, too. Yeah. Well, we never hear you swear, see Willie Miles. I'm talking about off air. Off air, yeah. You almost never swear. Oh, I cursed like a sailor. Oh, I thought you did.

I thought you did. Never, never on stage. Oh, I know that. But C. Willie Miles, when we're just BS in here off air, I think I've heard you say the S word once or twice. Oh, yeah. Well, because this is still, I'm still on stage here when I'm in the. Okay. Right, right.

As long as your microphone. I'm still see Willie Miles. Once we get out in the parking lot, I'm just Willie. Okay. Yeah, C Willie. It's nothing to do with me. Or you're on the golf course. Definitely want to go on the golf course.

Oh, my God. Yeah. But in a fun way, not like, I don't get angry at my golf. I just like to just mess with people. Okay. I'm just saying that. First time I ever heard Randy Swear was at the golf course and I was shocked. I couldn't believe he swore.

That's right. We're not on stage, right, Randy? That's when we're not, you're not like sportcaster, Mr. Anchor Randy Shaver. You're just Randy from Iowa. But he. With a couple of bruskeys in you. Even in, even in social settings, outside of this building. I guess I've yet to notice your skill set with the swear words,

see what I'm looking forward to the first time you really throw in a rainbow of expletives. Yeah. I'm actually looking at my phone because I know my wife is listening like she was sending a few texts going, oh my, you need to sit around. You've not been to my house and sat around and had something to eat a couple of drinks and listen to me tell stories the man. And I tell you what? I haven't heard it yet. Okay. I'm just, I'm just, my brand is, is, is, is clean, family friendly, but, but that's not Willie Miles brand. Sure. I see Willie Miles brand.

He's a guy that makes the dell. I want to find out someday if you're on my level, son. Oh. Does I like to think of myself as an all-time great? I grew up with nine old sisters. I got words and rhymes. Yeah, my wife is the one who swears all the time in our house. Yeah, my wife, my wife does, she'll throw out some bangers too.

Well, let's go back to when you were a kid. Were your folks pretty strict about that in the household? Oh, 100%. Like we could, you never, my father cursed like a sailor, but you could never, it was do as I say, not as I do type of deal. All right. Why was that? My dad swore all the time, but if I said darn, it was too close to damn.

Too close. So I got to get trouble for that. Your folks were Catholic. nut jobs. Well, they were Catholic. My husband Baptist is nut jobs. So at the end of the day, no, we were not allowed to,

like, we couldn't curse or, like, even have like, like, they tell you to do something. You couldn't even, like, have an attitude. Like, oh, yeah. Like, you had to accept it with, like, glee. All right. Yep.

Yeah, there was no arguing at ours. No, no. I think my dad gave me the, when I tell you to jump, you just ask how high speech. I think I got that exact speech. A listener wants to know if Arda Burger is a swear word. If so, they heard Randy say it on the radio years ago, and they were shocked.

They were stunned and they were disgusted. Arta burger is not a swear word. It was a word that Randy made up all on his own. This is for you longtime listeners. You might remember the Arda Burger incident. Yeah, we had a wide open setup when I was a kid. Mom didn't like that my brother and I were skilled in disgusting language at a very young age. He didn't like it, but it was pretty wide open.

So experience, I think, is what puts me in the Mount Rushmore of swearers, I think, just because we started so young. We started very young. We have a couple coworkers here. One former co-worker. They were excellent at it. Some of the best ever. We did it back when we were little, but we did it like quietly.

Yeah, I remember having to do that. I had a couple of buddies that I'd have to hang out with, and we would test them out with each other, but we were never, like, we knew he wouldn't snitch on each other, you know what I mean? You would test the words out? Right, to see how they would sound, you know, and just got a nice bounce to it?

Right, exactly. My wife just texts, like, he's using MF like he's saying the word, Ann. Yeah. Yeah, I have guilty of doing that. I will go days without it and then one day I'm just sitting there. If I'm with my boys and we're sitting around and we're just chilling and telling stories, that's when it gets crazy.

Yeah. You know, it depends on who we're talking about too. Josh and I talk a lot about people in our lives who are skilled at beginning a sentence. Yes. With a curse word. And it brings me back. I talk a lot on this program about my very first best friend, Pistol Pete, from across. the street. And of course, since he was right across the street, our families were tight growing up. Pistol Pete, God knows where he's at these days. Hopefully he's not incarcerated. But there was a stretch of time where my parents hadn't seen Pistol Pete in a long time. And I'm hanging out of my folks place and Pistol Pete walks in. We're in our 30s now or something. They hadn't seen him in a long time. And as soon as he walked in the door, my mother says, Pistol Pete from across the street.

And Pete says, effing, Mrs. Bourne. Hadn't seen this woman in 10 years or he starts his greeting with effing. And I thought, that's just who he is. That is so beautiful. The beauty of down south is when you're getting ready to curse. We always start. Like if somebody goes and they're mad or if you're telling the story, you go, this, if it start with this, the next word is a curse word. This bitch.

Yeah. This mother effer. Yeah. It's a beautiful thing. Right. This. If you're talking to somebody from down south and they go, this. Just get ready, man.

Cover your kids' ears. It's an art form. It's a beautiful, beautiful art form. It's called expression, Randy Shaver. Yes. Have you guys ever known someone that used the F word in place of um? Oh, yeah. Went to the F and,

in convenience store. There's one guy, there was no ums. It was just the F word. I do that way too much. I've been trying to dial back on my swearing because it's really getting out of, it's getting out of control. And you have a child.

Yeah, that's exactly why. I hope his first word is the Effenheimer. Yeah, probably, hopefully it would be. My brother had a confusing conversation when we were 18 or 19 years old. We were all brutally hung over at a pal's house and we stepped outside for the first time in about 20 hours.

because we were just drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking for days. We finally stepped outside on a beautiful summer day, and my brother said this, boy, it is G.D. Sunny out here in this mother effort. So again, I've got to slow that down. It's G.D. Sunny out here in this mother effort. So the G.D. and the mother effort don't really factor in. But in his mind, we were out here and in this at the same time. So we got, wait a minute, how are we?

There's a legendary WCW wrestler named Diamond Dallas Page, Nick. I know you're familiar. Of course. And Mick Foley, in one of his books, he was describing Diamond Dallas Page and what it's like to hang out with the man. And he goes, DDP, one of the nicest guys ever, but he cannot describe a newborn puppy without using the F-Bound like eight or nine times. That's funny.

All right, Randy Shaver, go ahead and it's medication time. Yes. Yeah, it's almost pudding time, too. Oh, nice. They give us pudding on Tuesdays. They move pudding time up. I can't wait. Don't they separate it from medication time because of what the medication does to your stomach?

They put the medication in the pudding. Oh, they have to trick you guys. Okay. We'll see you tomorrow. Randy said, I know that now. You can't get me. Goodbye, Randy. See you.

The 93X half-assed morning show. Hey, podcast friends. here. I'm a smart club member of standard heating and air conditioning. I think you should join me. I don't mean to be that guy, but as Minnesones, we know what season's coming up. Getting your furnace tune up before the cold weather hits is just smart. Right now, you can save $70 $70 on a furnace tune-up or double dip and save $140.40 if you add the AC tune-up as well. Scheduled by September 30th and use a code 93x to save. Standard Heating and air conditioning providing the comfort you deserves is 1930. Online at standardheating.com.

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Have a bad morning show, 93-X. Welcome back, you twisted, shady yet wildly attractive crowd you. It's day one for the half-ass morning show after a cute little three-day weekend. Again, thanks to all you gibronies who dropped by the State Fair last Friday. And also thanks to everyone who piled into the Mystic Lake Amphitheater last Saturday for our Half-Ass Morning Show Summer Bash starring Scott Stap. We can't thank you enough for your support and whatnot. Josh got to shake hands with one of his guitar heroes.

This was Saturday night at the summer bash. Josh got to shake hands with one of his guitar heroes. Mark Tremonte, yeah. He could not have been nicer. He was the nicest guy there, I would say. And that was really cool of him to come over and say hello to us. Shook your hand, didn't he? He did.

What did you say to the guy? What'd you say to him? I don't want to say because I'm a little embarrassed. I was caught off guard. I love you. Pretty much. I wasn't expecting it. You know, they're rushing us on and off.

They don't want us on the stage. And again, I understand. Everybody's got a job to do, and we're kind of in the way. And so they're like, get out of here. And all of a sudden, a guy comes up, and it takes me a second to realize his dark back there. I'm like, oh, my God, that's Mark Tramonte, and he's shaking everybody's hand. So I just said, you're one of my heroes and then kept going. Oh, my God.

I didn't know what else. It was perfect. It was absolutely true. You've embarrassed the program. I know. I love it. I noticed he didn't say anything back. back.

Not like, hey, you guys are my hero. If he got to know you a little better, he would say right back at you, Cubby. I hope he appreciated. I mean, I was so excited to see him, and I was just surprised somebody showed that kindness, and here it is one of my guitar heroes. We covered this a little earlier where that's not very common. We don't do stage announcements at the pace we used to. Jesus, when Josh and I were young and in the business,

seemed like twice a week we were on stage introducing somebody. Yep. And it's hectic, it's chaotic, and no one really wants you there, and we understand why. But it's pretty rare that one of the band members whose seconds away from going on stage would take the time to smile and shake our hands and thank us. But that's what Mark Tremontay did for the Half Fast Warning Show. And by damn cubby, I thought it was a nice moment. It was.

By the way, it was a big highlight. See, Willie Miles was joking around saying that you might have approached Mark and said, love you. It was close enough. I got to tell you again about the time where the superpowers united. It was a moment in time that I'll never forget when Ozzy Osbourne met my friend Curtis face to face and Curtis was beyond pumped and he said to Ozzy, nose to nose. He said Ozzy, I love you. You are my life. Wow. And Ozzy. Ozbourne said. That was it.

And his Curtis had to just walk away. Maybe he didn't hear me? Just a blank scream, man. No facial expression. Oh, there was also the time that Curtis met Dave Ellifson, formerly of Megadeth. Oh, yeah.

Who, as we all know, is Minnesota. From Jackson, Minnesota, right? David Ellison. And Curtis walked up to David Ellifson and said, hey, Dave, I know you're from Jackson, Minnesota. You ever go down there and do any snowmobiling? And David Ellifson said, no.

All right, then. And that was the end of that. We got to talk to him a couple times and Dave Mustain. Really looking forward to seeing them in a week. Of course. Well, not David Ellison, of course, but Megadeth. I was like that when I met. Aretha Franklin

I got the open for her and you don't ever put that on your wish list when you are in this industry as a comedian you know what I mean? And I got the tour with some really super nice but that was like the well it was two and one was her and she

when you backstage and she's sitting there and I'm getting ready to go do my show and she's going to listen to my whole set that must have been intimidating. No, no, because I'm very good at what I do. And I, no. Well, then, F me.

No, but what I'm saying is that it was, I was like, I was honored that she was going to sit and listen to my whole set, right behind that curtain. But I was standing there, I shook her hand, and she opened up her arms and gave me a hug. Like, I'm not going to shake your hand, baby. Give me a hug. And I said, I literally said, I love you.

She said, well, thank you, sweetheart. She said, have a right thing. Have a good show. And the whole time I was walking up on stage movies, introduced me and I said, I just told Rita Franklin. I love her. That's understandable. And Ray Charles punked me.

Oh, no, what happened? So I was. Did I never tell you this story? I don't know. So I'm working with. It sounds familiar. I'm doing Ray Charles down at the, I'm opening for him at the state theater. And this was just before Jamie Fox movie came out.

Jamie was filming the movie. and Ray Charles was on tour and so I was opening for him at the state theater and I'm down in my dressing room I'm like I'm so I got this brand new kind of a lavender type of colored suit

and I'm looking because I saw the stage lights and I'm like I'm gonna look good on stage with this suit right and I'm getting dressed his handler comes and goes hey Ray wants to meet you before you go on stage

and I'm like oh okay cool cool cool cool I say I'll be right down he goes no he'll come to you I was like, he going to come to me? He said, yeah, yeah, you're going to be up there for a half hour. He don't, you know, he'll come down here. He opens the door and he looks, he shook. I said, oh, Mr. Rachel's says, it's an honor to meet you, sir.

I said, I'm from Alabama. I know you're from down from Georgia, blah, blah, blah. Rachel's looking at me, you go, my God, that is one good looking suit. Oh, thank you. And he looked at his three, he go, got it. I'm like, oh, man. Seriously? He goes, don't feel bad, son.

He said Stevie fell for the same bit. Nick, you'll probably remember. Maybe you could tell C. Willie, when we met David Coverdale of Whitesnake and Deep Purple. Sure. Huge. We're huge fans. I mean, such a great frontman, gorgeous, awesome voice, everything. Got to be 20 years ago.

And it was very profound what we had to say to him. I'm actually kind of proud of this. Well, yeah, Josh and I were in separate studios from where David Coverdale walked in for our interview. He was going to be sitting in another studio. Like we have set up here, where Danes in a different room and this and that. So I think we stared at him for a little too long.

And we kind of mind-deft ourselves because, like Josh said, this is David Coverdair from White Snake. He's this unbelievable singer and legendary frontman. And he was maybe the prettiest human being we'd ever seen in our life. So we did not talk to him before the interview. We went live, and then, of course, we're making eye contact and doing interview-y things,

but it was when we went off air that we finally went over to shake his hand. And he said, oh, I'm David. And I said, but tell him what I said. And he approached Josh and said, hey there, lad, I'm David. And Josh said, it was like the movies we couldn't talk. My brain stopped working. Oh, my God. And he was so excited to meet him.

He kind of looked over at the other host of the show as if he was thinking, are these guys going to be okay? I came off like Timmy from South Park. All right. Oh, what a wasted opportunity. Oh, that's such a bad feeling when you walk away. You can never get that back. You can't never get that back.

See, Willie met Aretha Franklin and Ray Charles. Oh, my God. If I ever would have met Ray Charles, he would have punched me in the mouth because right away I just wanted to say, well, I heard about the fella you've been dancing with all over the neighborhood. Why didn't you ask me, baby? Didn't you think I could?

I'd want to sing Shake a Tail Feather with him right away. And if I met Aretha, I'd say, think, think about what you're trying to do to me. It would all be Blues Brothers related. She was such a sweetheart. Okay. So here we are. Summer is over.

And all the spoiled little smart mouth kids have been sent back to their local schoolhouse. I have a question for everybody. Speaking of school, a question that might be too difficult to give a clear answer. So don't hurt yourself on this one. Because I think it's very difficult to give a A or B answer here. But I'm going to go ahead anyway.

The question is, which would be worse? Finding out your kid is being bullied or finding out that your kid is the school bully. Oh, no. Hmm. Hard to go one way or the other right away, isn't it? Yeah. This is a poll that was dumped out there for everyone to see on that godless, soulless and wildless, what do I usually say, Josh?

Wildly misinformed social media. Parents were asked this question, which would be worse realization, finding out that your kid is a violent, bully. Oh, they're violent now. Well, that's kind of what bullying is, right? Or finding out that your kid is being violently bullied. And there were no easy answers. I think I'd probably won't. I'd probably prefer to find out that they were being the bully because you have control over that. You can shut that down. Sure. Easier to course correct that one. Yeah, but that like the heartbreak I would feel for my child if they were just getting religiously bullied every single day at school, that would that would ruin. Oh, you'd homeschool your kid immediately.

Oh, yeah. Oh, 100%. Josh, is that how it happened since you were at a Catholic school where they religiously bullied? Yeah, it's all religious-based. You know who doesn't love you? God. Right. You know who you kind of remind me of Satan?

If your mom was the Virgin Mary, I would have banged there. Oh. So, although it's a very difficult question, you could probably toggle back and forth all day long on this one. 66% of people who answered this question said it would be worse to find out that their kid was a violent bully. One said, my kid being a violent bully would be a harsher realization about my own parenting. What did I do wrong? How did my kid become this prick bastard bully? Did he see me do something?

Did he hear me? On the flip side, a parent said it's worse if they are being bullied. Schools are often useless with that kind of thing. And as a parent, you are even more helpless because you can't do anything to the bullies. As a 40-year-old, you can't walk into that grade school and grab that bully and say, you little bastard, I'll break your friggin' neck for you. Motorcross 492, Jesus said I'd rather have my son be the bully than I only have one ass to kick instead of a whole bunch of kids' asses. True.

I mean, the whole thing sucks. Right. And it's, I think it's even worse today because of social media. Yep. A good friend of mine told me just the worst story about his kid that it just became a popular thing. One night, you know, all the junior high kids are gathering on social media on this one particular night. And they just upped and attacked his child. Nerd, bitch, idiot.

Right. One kid started it and you know how they all are. They just followed suit. What's the popular thing to do? Pick on this kid. Okay, I'm in. You guys know how kids are. Right, right, right.

And, I mean, it was just absolutely brutal. His kid did not want to go back to school. There are no parents on Planet Earth who are perfectly equipped to deal with something like that. What do they do? What do you do? He didn't know what to do. What made it worse was he contacted the parents of one of the head bullies, the one who started it all on social media and said,

let's go after this kid, contacted the parents. Well, they denied it all. Oh, that wasn't him. No, no, our child is a good kid. Oh, no, you got it all wrong. It wasn't him. It wasn't him.

It wasn't him when it was clearly him. So he's just handcuffed. And it was as frustrating as you probably have already imagined. Luckily, with time, it died down. But there was like three months where his kid every morning would wake up crying, didn't want to go to school. Wow. I'll tell you why I talked to a woman just a couple weeks ago.

And she was telling me, and I know her son, friends with my son, she was telling me that they almost switched schools because some of the bullying that was occurring of this kid. He's a little guy, you know, for his age, looks a lot younger and he's pretty short for his class. Some of the, I didn't know a lot. Like, I had to talk to my son. Like, why don't you tell me some of this stuff? Some of the things that were going on with him were heartbreaking.

I mean, maybe, I shouldn't share anything because, you know, just in case people know who these are. But like just some of the social media stuff, he said. And by the way, One of the kids I was bullying him is the biggest wimp I've ever met in my entire life. Oh! I mean, honestly, just a total prick so I could see it coming out of it. But, I mean, it was awful hearing some of these details.

Back when we were kids, you could walk into school and expect the same two or three dicks to be dicks. Right. But now, with social media, they can all gang up. It becomes a bit. It becomes a trend. I mean, if a kid misses a night on social media, they might have to come to school completely blindsided. They have no idea what's been. Oh, yeah, that happens.

That whole, you guys know the way I stand on social media, but anyway. Well, not to mention, I mean, then you're getting kids from other schools. Well, yeah. You've never even met. Oh, gee. I didn't even consider it. It turns worldwide for no reason. Exactly.

My daughter, I always thought I did a very good job of my kids talking to them before they went to school. Because it was way different from me why I went to school. I went to school down south when they were just integrating schools. So my daughter, I remember one time I had to go to the school. she got sent to the principal's office because of something I told her to do. I always say people who bully you just, they struggle academically.

And so what happened was some girl was bullying my daughter. Not bullying, but just talking crazy to her. And my daughter looked at it and she goes, you must be struggling academically. And so she goes to the principal's office and they call me, so I come to the principal's office, and that's what they said.

They said, we can't have them. I said, well, she was bullying her. I said, Janay, tell them what she said to you. And she did. And I said, then what did you say back? And she said, I just told them what you told me to say. And she said, I just looked at her and said, you must be struggling academically. I can help you.

You know what I mean? And I looked at the principal. I go, is she wrong? And he went, well, no, but that's not right. I said, no, you'd rather have her say that or fight? or say something about her parents Or something She didn't curse

She didn't know She was very And that's my daughter That's how she is Even to this day Yeah You know That's a good one

Yeah The 93X half-ass morning show All right We're on our way out the door We got to see Willie Miles In studio But we've gotten ourselves Into a conversation here

It was part of an online poll The conversation Or the question Was what would be worse Finding out your kid Is being bullied at school or finding out that your kid is the school bully or finding out that your kid dresses up it as a ninja

and hides in a tree before school to threaten fellow students as they walked up or finding out your kid got ditched at prom after his friend sent him to Burger King. Which one would be worse? Here's a couple text messages on the bullying. Listener says overall I think I was a pretty good kid but there were occasions where I did bully as part of a group.

Now I was a grown man. the stuff that bothers me at 2 o'clock in the morning when I happen to wake up. Another listener says, if my kid was being bullied, there's only one thing I could do, and that's bang the bully's mom. I'll show him. You win. Like that cop on that documentary we were talking about last week. I love it.

Let me ask you a question now. Maybe you remember, maybe you don't. Whatever happened to the biggest bullies at your school, did they eventually come around and grow up, or have they continued to be horse's asses into adult life? They're losers and it's awesome. Every damn last one of them? The ones that I had problems with. Okay.

For me personally, a couple of them came to, grew up, like we all hoped to do. Some of us do. Some of us never do. A couple of them understood that they were young and stupid and they feel very bad of them. A couple of the others have continued to be complete douchebags. Right.

Well, I can tell you this And I'll say this as respectfully as I possibly can But one of my classmates who grew up in one of the, like a huge clan family Mm-hmm When I say clan, I just meant literally the triple clay Right, triple K. He turned out to be one of the suit. I mean, we were never friends in high school.

We only got to be friends at the class reunion. And when I would come home and I would see him And he would always walk up to me and go, man, that was not I was not part of that he said I was just in that right and and he stayed true to his word and now when I go home to Alabama that's one of the first cats that that's great that always he hits me up for lunch yeah and we always go some but he is he and I love that about him because we were it was rough time when we were I'm sure you know I'm sure we were all in it together you know yeah I mean it wasn't our fault as kids you know what I mean it was

Yeah. You were young. Yeah. You don't know what the hell you're talking about. No. And you believe certain things and you're steadfast in that belief. And then you grow up a little bit and think, what in the F was I doing? And that's what he said. He said, I believed everything they said.

And until I went to college. And he goes, and he said, he wound up going to school at Memphis State. Oh, yeah. You know, he goes, yeah, everything that they told me was not true. I'm like, yeah. Were there bullies at Catholic school, Josh? Well, I was just going to say, no, I feel very lucky. I can't picture a Catholic school bully.

They really weren't. They were called nuns. You were on to something. They were the ones you didn't mess with. That's true. My wife was a Catholic school. I feel very low. Some of these texts coming in are absolutely heartbreaking, by the way.

I'm so sorry. But no, I mean, there's crap, certainly. You'd get crap for this or that. Well, yeah. But I don't remember any bullying. I feel fortunate. I don't know if it's just because the school was so, small, there wasn't enough room, but we didn't really have anything like that.

Yeah, I mean, like I said, there were quite a few. And a couple of them turned out to be fine individuals, and they completely understand how wrong they were. There's a couple more. They'll never change. They're just pushy dickheads, and they will be until the day that they die, and they look down on everybody. They're so effing this and that, and everyone else sucks. It's just it's a damn shame. I mean, you know, and one of them that I can think of in particular, he never really amounted to Dick Tracy. And I think it goes back to the fact that I don't think he was ever wired right. You know what I mean? And he struggled in his adult life big time because of that. I'm a little sympathetic towards him now looking back because he just was never wired

properly. How about this? Did you ever witness, or maybe you were a part of, the school bully having to take his medicine right there on the playground or whatever it might have been, or on the school bus, or at a beer party or something where the school bully got straightened out? You saw that? I've seen that. Absolutely. It was my cousin Jeffrey Pugh that put this dude down, man. Finally just said, look, we can't take this anymore. We're going to knock this guy on his ass. Done with him.

Is this high school? Yep. Nice. High school. Did it humble the guy enough? Yes. That's good. Well, everybody saw it.

Yeah. And it was nothing you can do at that point. Brother, we were also, there was no video because there was no such thing back in the day. It was just eyes on. Everybody saw it and in the word spread. There was this grade school bully who, it was the oddest thing in the world. He was not the biggest guy, but he did. He carried himself like a much older guy, very menacing, very threatening,

and he was certainly the school bully at my grade school. I give my brother and a good friend of ours a lot of credit. One day on the playground, they said, there he is, and he's pushing people around. And my brother and this buddy of ours just said, let's go do this. And they beat the piss out of him right in the middle of the playground. And it did change the way people thought of him. Right. He had it coming for years, and they tuned his ass up right smack dab in the middle of the playground in front of everybody.

Let everybody know. And that's not always the best answer. I'm not saying that's the eight, but it's straight. It's a answer. It is one of the answer. It's a multiple choice. It's a multiple choice. A, B, or C, they're all right.

Right. All right. Thanks, C, Willie Miles. All right. I want to do a quick shout out to my friends down in Prior Lake. Leo and Cindy Fong, who are, well, Leo Cindy Lay, but they're Fong restaurant, and they're retiring. And I'm doing a final show at their event center on Sunday night at Fong's event center. And they're retiring after 33 years of a restaurant.

And they're absolutely awesome people. A lot of great memories at Fong's. Tons. Yeah, we used to go there quite a bit. It's a great place. And they've been there, like I said, 33 years. And I've been doing my show there for 14 years. That's great.

Good for you. It's my last final show there. Get her done. Yeah. From the Luther Kia of Bloomington text line, happy birthday to bank examining Jesus on his 43rd. And happy 50th to construction splicer firefighter Jesus from Ember Grove Heights. 93X half-assed morning show.

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