93X Half-Assed Morning Show - This Tastes Like Toes
Episode Date: August 3, 2026Originally Aired August 3, 2026: Jogger slaughter. Spite spikes. Everything you wanna know about why you shouldn't mess with Jonah Hill. Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify o...r Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: HAMS93X@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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The 93x Half-Affast Morning Show.
Ninety-three.
Oh, my goodness.
This is it right here.
This is where we start things off, the Monday edition of the 93X Half-Ass Morning Show.
I can just imagine all the smiling faces out there.
You're beautiful.
You are.
And thanks for the text messages already.
Had a few text messages come in right from the stinking get-go on our Luther-Bloomington-Kia text line.
Where the hell is this one?
Oh, yeah, I like this one.
People are already up and around, you know, they're paying attention.
Here's a listener who texted in to say, I'm really looking forward to your show today.
It would be a shame if someone farted on it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, please don't.
Has anyone ever farted on the show?
I don't know, but I agree.
That would be shameful.
Yeah, well, we'll keep an eye out.
We'll try not to let anybody fart on the show.
Admitted if someone here farts on the show.
I'll admit it if I do.
I will.
You mean if any of us today fart on the show, you'd like us to admit it?
Yeah, I think then we know whether or not somebody farted on the show.
I will be honest with you, Cubby, right from the get-go.
I promise you that.
I can just tell you right now it's not going to be me, so we're good.
You're saying, how do you know?
Long shot?
Won't be happening.
Nope.
You refuse?
You're the dark horse in this competition?
Well, there she is.
Surprise.
I knew you'd bring it, Ashley.
She won't.
Will she or will she not admit it?
I mean, it's not saying a word.
Never.
By damn, there was a lot going on over the weekend.
Josh, for starters,
let's go ahead and thank all the very generous people
who attended and or donated
or both.
Let's thank the folks who contributed to our brosted-out cancer event
at the Wise at American Legion this past Friday night.
You and Ashley spent the most time of all of us at the event.
Did you come away from it with a good feeling?
Oh, it was a blast.
It was really great.
Yeah, I had a lot of fun.
But I hear you worked your nuts off.
It really was busy.
I mean, even more so than last time it felt.
Well, last time it was in shifts.
Maybe that's why.
So this time, I mean, there was a few dudes that went through,
I think the record was five times they went through the line
to get that broasted chicken you guys were working so hard on.
You were up on the line, Dr. P was on the line,
Ashley was on the line, and it was a steady flow of big eaters.
It was a great team, I would say, the three of us up there.
I think we killed it.
Oh, yeah, you know, it was fun.
It was really fun.
We had a good system going.
There was a line of people ready to go right when they started serving at 530.
They started bringing out the bigs to the littles,
the mashed potato or not excuse me the baked potatoes the coleslaw yeah when you holler dinner time
at any broasted chicken event there at the wise at a legion this past friday was a special event
it was a fundraiser for randy shaver's cancer research foundation it was a special event
you know you had to buy your way into the to the scene and uh but yeah on any given night
on a broasted chicken night when you ring that dinner bell it's it's obscene how quickly people
shoot out of their chairs to get in line for the meal.
That's definitely what happened on Friday.
We were going straight for at least two hours.
It was just constant, you know.
How you doing?
How were your legs?
How were your arms from pinching all that carcass with the thongs?
I'm really glad I didn't have to use thongs.
Tongs.
That's what you call them?
Yeah.
Tongs.
For Christ's sake, they wrote a song about it.
I'm so glad that I just had to scoop because that looked hard.
I wouldn't have survived if I had to keep clean.
You were scooping.
Coal saw.
Cold slaw.
Sorry, sorry.
Okay.
I was on potato duty and so my, Ashley and I were joking about it, my right forearm picking up
those big potatoes.
Lit.
Oh man.
Yeah.
It looks like Quagmire when he masturbated constantly on family guy.
Sure.
I mean, it was just veins were popping.
I had to switch arms for a little bit because I wanted to even them out, you know.
I didn't want to look ridiculous.
I mean, so you folks really did sacrifice for.
for the greater good Friday night.
You were on your feet for hours on end serving chicken.
We had the silent auction and a 50-50 split-the-pot raffle
and people milling around.
You met some wonderful people.
You were reunited, I'm sure, with some people you're familiar with.
Yep, met some regulars from the brother and sisterhood
who we see at a lot of events, met a couple new ones.
There's a couple I was really hoping to talk to longer,
but like you said, we were so slammed.
And then, you know, we had a little bit.
of a lull right around 730 and then it picked up again and so I got to talk to a couple people and
bank examining Jesus if you're out there he got off a plane it was there was a delay he was coming from
New York two and a half hour delay he wanted to make it to the event he flew from New York for that
well he lives here oh so he goes between so I'm assuming it was on his normal schedule
I recognize the name Mike how'd you say bank examining Jesus bank examining he's a regular
taxer and I was really looking forward to meeting him because he's texted for so long
And I got to talk to him for just a handful of seconds.
I looked for him afterwards, and I didn't run into him.
I'm assuming he must have took off.
So there's a few folks we didn't really get to spend as much time with as we would have liked to.
But it was cool.
That's real work.
Met some new listeners after.
So I want to say maybe around 8 something-ish, maybe close to 8.30.
Got to go out and kind of sit with my family a little bit and talk to some folks around there.
We had a good time.
Everybody was cool.
It was a great event.
I mean, it was even smoother than last time.
And last time was incredibly smooth.
Got to hang out with your sister a little bit, which is always fun.
Talk to your brother.
My brother?
Yeah.
I would say the number one comment I got on Friday night was,
holy crap, Nick's brother is jacked over and over.
There was at least five people that brought that up.
It's funny because I think he's actually starting to thin out a little bit because of his
current
situation.
He's addled himself so terribly
from all that power lifting that I think
he's actually lost some weight.
Maybe that's it. He's more cut.
People were saying like
how great he looks and I talked to him about it and he's like, oh, it's the
shirt. He said, trust me if I was in a different
shirt. He was wearing a form fitting shirt.
He was wearing a form fitting. He blamed
it or accredited the shirt.
You know, an undersized t-shirt.
can make anybody look a little more yoked.
He did look like more yoked than I saw him last,
as far as just more cut.
I know this much.
I have a rough idea how much money was raised Friday night,
but we won't get those official numbers for a couple days.
And so give us some time on that before we,
because for those of you who donated and attended,
you deserve a lot of credit.
And so I certainly, Randy or my wife,
who were involved in organizing the event,
will pass that information onto us.
I'm looking forward to getting those official numbers
because we're very proud of what our listeners have contributed
over the years to Randy's Cancer Foundation.
I'm sure he'll be excited to talk about it
when we get the final results.
Oh, I'm sure.
I'd imagine it was a good haul.
So my daughter bid on the bobbleheads of all the twins managers over the years.
That was a very cool donation.
She was really excited about that.
Oh, she was nervous as All Hack at the end, right?
Just hoping she'd win that thing.
Do you know if they've made the calls?
If she hasn't gotten a call yet.
I don't know anything about that.
Oh, I really hope she got it.
But there were some cool items up for bid that twins managers throughout the years type of a setup
bobblehead series was really unique.
Yep.
So I'm glad that you guys, despite working your bags off, you were able to have a good time.
Yeah, it was fun.
See Willie, he did a lot of hosting, and obviously that's his thing.
He was incredibly funny.
He was great.
He had the crowd going.
There's like crowd participation.
Yeah, that was so.
He's such an awesome dude.
See Willie Miles, if you've ever seen him in person perform his stand-up comedy,
it's just such a great show.
He puts on such a great show, but I think he's possibly even funnier and more enjoyable when it's just impromptu out of nowhere you hand him a mic.
And that's what he did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he was a great host.
He was really funny.
So he kind of hung out by us up at the line when he wasn't on the mic.
And his commentary, especially around Dr. P., you know, my partner there.
Dr.
P, he's a funny guy.
He's a little awkward and nervous.
What?
And so he was kind of commenting on something.
trying to make him more nervous and it was working.
Like, you know, anytime Dr. P. would say breast, he'd look at him, kind of give him a look.
Dr. Pete did say breast a certain way.
Yeah, well, he was in love a couple times with a couple of the members of the sisterhood.
What I had to tell him to ease back a little bit.
I'm like, hey, we got to reiny in there, pal, because he was obsessed with one in particular.
Now, yeah, I don't know if we want to give away too much information.
Maybe next time Dr. P visits the studio.
we can really get into this, this topic.
I don't know how much you want to say,
because I wasn't there for a lot of this.
Josh led me to believe that if Dr. P doesn't get laid here one of these days,
he's going to bust.
We got to get him.
We got work on something.
You led me to believe that after spending the night with him Friday at the fundraiser,
that he is in dire need.
Yeah. He definitely is.
He was very sexually charged with his comments on Friday night.
Yeah, and like nothing inappropriate.
Of course not.
But, you know, he...
But noticeable.
You know when like a kid can't wait to open a Christmas present and all that energy?
You know, it's like they can't drop it.
And you're telling him, just be patient, man.
Play it cool. It's going to happen.
You'll open the Christmas gifts.
It's coming.
He was like that kind of.
Josh sent me a text message with a.
picture of Dr. P. This was after the event was over on Friday.
Josh sent me a picture of Dr. P.
Like a text message, you understand that technology?
Sure.
And Josh just simply posted or whatever the word is.
The words that you sent me were the following.
So it was a picture of Dr. P.
And it just simply said, here's a guy who could use a good BJ.
So he was, he's just, he's, he's tightly wound.
And when women walk by, he gets nervous.
and he, this guy needs a piece of ass.
And by the way, it's not like I'm some stud around the ladies or anything.
Absolutely not.
But he definitely, I have to clear my head a little bit.
I don't know what just happened.
But he definitely needs something.
He needs a girlfriend or something.
Well, again, Randy Shaver will be, Randy Shaver will be joining us at 7.30.
I just have to say that the food was so good.
I'm glad to hear it.
My son said it's the best chicken he's ever had.
Yeah, I ate way too much of it.
I ate there and then ate some on the way home and then ate some when I got home.
All my fellow Legion members and volunteers in the back will be happy to hear it.
Randy, he'll be here at 7.30 and like I said, hopefully in a couple of days we can give you the grand totals because you folks deserve credit.
You know, what we didn't deserve were gifts, but even so, a couple people did bring some.
And I wanted to thank Killer Jesus, Nick and Ashley, that the show we saw of Mr. Big at the Fitzgerald.
Sure.
Was that coming up on two years ago now?
Yeah, the Big Finish Tour.
Yeah.
He sent me, actually, you know what, this must have been a little earlier than that,
but he got me a picture or a poster from that show.
Oh, cool.
And then I got some tractor pole tickets, so I'm going to go to my first track.
tractor pole coming up here pretty soon.
August 29th, I'm looking forward to that.
I thought you got a presence.
What do you mean?
Are you saying this isn't cool?
Tractor pole tickets?
Dude, I was so excited about this.
I was bouncing off the wall.
He's very Josh thing.
Immediately, I told him like, I said,
dude, my son's going to love this.
He likes anything that has a light on it and moves.
So it's going to be great.
You just said you've never been to a tractor pole?
No.
Oh, really?
I love this kind of stuff.
All right, cool.
I've been to a lot of similar events, but never.
an actual tractor.
You're going to have to drink some beer.
And tell me about the Mr. Big poster again.
Let me see that.
So this is actually from the 2021.
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
Maybe the year's not on here.
Well, the dude made you a Mr. Big poster.
Yeah, this is the 24.
Dude made you a Mr. Big poster.
Yeah, he got it from the show.
Oh, okay, commemorating the show that we went to a couple years ago at the Fitzgerald
theater.
That's very cool.
What a sweetheart.
Yeah, that was very thoughtful.
Everyone's so nice.
Yeah, and then people, I know Nick got a cool gift.
is the Wheaties box in here?
We've got a couple.
A listener dropped off
a Wheaties box with Jalen Hertz
on the damn thing.
In honor of Jalen's birthday this Friday.
Is it this Friday?
It's this coming a Friday.
Hilarious.
You know, we love to love
Jalen Hertz,
or at least I do on this program.
Another listener made a
trophy for me.
Oh, I've been wanting to see this.
He told me about it,
and I didn't get a chance to check it out.
It's, I don't know how the hell you make a trophy.
Sorry.
Well, not a fart on radio.
You burped on them.
I just gutted a burp live on the radio.
Remember when we used to openly burp on the microphone?
I don't miss those days.
Jail time.
Anyway, a listener made me this really unique-looking trophy
where it's like an incredible Hulk character,
tearing the shirt off of his body.
And I guess what I've been awarded,
what I've been awarded here is a hometown
Hill Trophy.
Off air, you're saying you don't remember this, but one time you said you would like to be
presented with a hometown heel trophy.
And Evan from Serenity Kennels, who we've had in, great organization, you guys may remember
what they do is they basically, I don't know if Foster is the right word, but they host dogs
for people that need to go to treatment.
And folks that may not go, if they didn't have that ability to keep their dogs safe, you
know why they're gone because that kind of holds some people back.
Sure.
Well, that's very nice.
I mean, I don't recall making that comment,
but I certainly do thrive on needling the hometown crowd once in a while,
specifically Vikings fans.
I do like to play the role of the heel come football season.
Some people have called you one of the original rage baiters.
Rage baiters.
Great.
I'd love to be recognized.
I love to be recognized for negative things.
I do.
So thank you for the hometown heel trophy.
Gifts were passed back and forth.
Friends were made.
Friends were made wonderful times Friday night.
And we couldn't be more proud of what we and our listeners bring to the table
when it comes to helping folks out right here in town who are struggling with cancer.
So there you go.
Thanks again to everyone who showed up.
Of course, WWE spent all week here in town loading up for their silly two-day SummerSlam event.
We were talking about how busy it was over the weekend.
SummerSlam did its thing Saturday and last night.
Dana, I know you attended some, if not all, of the live shows.
How was it?
And my second question would be, were the crowds as light as some people made them out to be on social media?
Both nights, I went both nights.
They were both fantastic.
two A-plus shows of my book.
You were really that good? Yeah, they were fantastic.
Absolutely. Both nights, crazy returns with Kevin Owens coming back last night.
Randy Orton coming out of nowhere.
Ran right by me.
Right by me on my seats on the floor. It was awesome.
So no one had seen Kevin Owens or Randy Orton in a while?
Randy Orton has been gone since WrestleMania, so it's been a few months for him.
And Kevin Owens had known for over a year.
Oh.
So when he came out last night, he was added into the number one qualifier match.
It was huge pop.
Kevin Owens is a great performer he always has been.
Yes, lights out.
Especially when you consider that he's not built like most wrestlers but yet a terrific athlete.
So what about the crowds?
The crowds I thought were great.
Oh, okay.
I mean, I knew nothing, saw nothing.
I haven't seen a clip, still photographed nothing.
All I know is that my wife, who spends a pretty significant time on social media,
kept telling me that no one's been going to these shows.
No, they were packed.
Oh, okay.
What the hell is everyone talking about?
Well, you know, they've been curtain off.
certain amounts of seats, you know.
Yeah.
And so some people on social media were like highlighting that look.
They had to block these off.
No one's going to buy those seats.
It's an NFL stadium.
They're all the way up to the 300 level.
All right.
Completely away from the ring.
So, but no, the crowd and the crowds were hot too.
Big pops.
It was a lot of fun.
You sent me a couple of messages.
You saw CM Punk.
You saw my, my old nemesis Jimmy Hart walk by.
Yeah, Jimmy Hart came right by me.
And I sent you a photo and you said something about how,
he still owes you money and I said well do you want me to go tune them up and he said I'll give you
$500 you get thrown on for best you of Jimmy Hart. He sent me a picture of Jimmy Hart and I told
the story last week about how Jimmy and I had a match in 2001 and I joked around and I said you know
I put that some bitch over 25 years ago and I still haven't received a thank you from the guy
yes I would have given you $500 of my own money if you would have been thrown out last night for
attacking Jimmy Hart. I know that probably wouldn't have helped you in the long
run you would have went to jail maybe you would have lost your job here bail might have been more
and 500 bucks i would have given you 500 dollars if you would have attacked an 80 year old man
yeah i think there's uh there's something about that in our employee handbook yeah yeah you're not
allowed to attack 80 year old men no so it's all over now but you'd say uh wonderful times wonderful
weekend every time i close my eyes i'm seeing somebody take a back body drop or something
has so much wrestling over the weekend glad you dug it so yeah you went friday saturday
and last night so friday night i went to the mall of america show for first wrestling
Sport of the local guys.
Then Saturday and Sunday,
I did SummerSlam Night 1 and 2.
And I could have done so many more shows.
Pardon me, regrets not getting into all of them.
Part of me thinks I don't know if I'd be alive right now
just because it was just so much wrestling nonstop.
And it's just fun being amongst like-minded dorks, you know what I mean?
That all enjoy wrestling as much as I do and we all do.
It was a lot of fun.
Cool.
I'm getting a couple texts here wondering about that tractor pull.
I mentioned we were giving tickets to.
Yeah.
And I was going to be.
going to read the information to you to give that out there, but I couldn't.
I'm too blind.
So I've passed it over to Ashley so she could say where.
I was trying to be like, wait, where was this again?
I know it's August 29.
Corcoran.
Yep.
It's the Corcoran Lions UPM Nationals.
It's at County Road 10 and County Road 101.
It's the Hennepin County Fair traffic.
This is 93x.
The gates open at 5 p.m.
And the tractor pole starts at 7 p.m.
So like I was telling Josh, you're going to have to drink beer.
if you go because everybody drinks beer there,
you might be the odd one out if you're not drinking beer.
Does my truck lifted enough?
Is your truck lifted enough?
Will I be allowed in there?
Do I have to put a couple more inches on that thing?
We'll see.
I'll be there to vouch for you.
That's my old stomping grounds.
That's the old Hennepin County Fairgrounds.
Been there hundreds of times.
I've been there for tractor pulls, demolition derbies,
motocross races, the old Hamel Rodeo, of course.
That's where they put on their show.
So, end of August, you said?
August 29.
Yep.
There you go.
And kids 12 and under are free.
So that's always great.
I don't know any kids that are 12 or under.
But I'll try to find some.
I can find some.
Yeah, we'll try to find some.
There will probably be a couple there.
There you frigging go.
Thanks, Ashley.
Yeah, no problem.
My eyes.
I can't read that at all.
Honestly, it is pretty small.
I had to focus.
Even you had trouble?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Don't worry.
Oh, cripes.
So there you go.
It was busy.
but we all survived to tell the tale of last weekend.
Coming up today, like I said,
Randy Shaver and Brad Rider will stop by.
Oh, Christ Almighty, and we'll have the regular jibber-jabber along the way.
We ought to take a little break.
I got a stupid news report all ready to roll unless there's any final thoughts.
No, I think I'm good.
There you go.
When we return, I'll hit up that stupid news,
and we'll see what else cuts loose.
running us here this morning on the half-ass morning show.
93.
Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life.
Uh-oh.
That doesn't sound good.
What's going on, Habs podcasters?
We're getting into that soupy part of the summer when your air conditioning is going to be
holding on for dear life.
That's where our friends at Standard heating and air conditioning come into play.
If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait.
Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back.
With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast.
Ah, that's better.
Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930.
Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help.
Randy Shaver here with the answer.
Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you.
Don't suffer.
Call Bialki Law today.
763-571-2410 or go to Bialkylaw.com.
That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com.
And it spells relief for you.
Stupid news on the half-assed morning show.
Yeah, I got a fresh report for you.
I do.
But first, let's go back to a couple of conversations we've already had this morning
because I've got more thoughts on the topic
or our listeners have some more thoughts on these subjects.
Well, first off, Josh admitted a few minutes ago,
Josh admitted that he has never seen a tractor pull in person.
Nope, seen them on TV, never on person in person.
Friday night at our brostout cancer event
at the Wise Ad American Legion,
the listener was nice enough to gift all of us
some free tickets to a tractor pull
coming up at the end of August
at the Hennepin County Fairgrounds up there in Corcoran.
Josh is excited about the possibility of seeing his very first tractor pull.
You were wondering, though, are you man enough?
Will they accept you?
Will the tractor pull crowd accept you?
You asked, is my pickup lifted enough to drive up on the property?
Right, I want to be part of the crew.
I want to be accepted by everybody that's there.
I mentioned I've been to dozens of tractor pulls at the Hennepin County Fairgrounds.
demolition derbies and the Hennepin County Fair and every I know folks Josh I do so I will vouch for
you at the gate but one listener did text in with a little bit of advice for you what's that if you're
going to go to this very first tractor pull um says you're going to have to do something other than
the basketball shorts really I had that same thought yes yes you will they said what if I was
wearing a pair of cowboy boots no no no no with your basketball yeah um um
I imagine people might have different concerns for you.
Maybe a little confused.
Yeah.
Just go with some blue jeans.
A couple of listeners texted in and said,
Yeah, I was planning on that.
They're not going to allow the basketball shorts.
What if I wore a midriff shirt that says she thinks my tractor's sexy?
What is a midriff shirt?
It's the one where it's cut off, like it shows your stomach.
Like in the 80s guys used to wear shirts that were cut off.
below the nipple.
I'm going to know it's no.
What does the shirt say?
She thinks my tractor's sexy.
Nah, don't do that.
I'll kick your ass for that.
If I make any reference to the song,
she thinks my tractor's safety, am I kicked out?
Don't make any reference to the song.
What if somebody's like, hey, what's your favorite brand of tractor?
I'd be stuck.
I don't know.
I don't want to get my ass kick.
You don't know tractor brands?
Well, no, I do, but I don't know.
I mean, is there, I mean, that could start a fight, right?
I've never seen a tractor brand fight at any of those events.
This is new to me.
I've been to a lot of the other types of shows.
You can talk about International and Massey Harris and John Deere.
But John Deere seems safe, right?
Or not?
I don't know.
I don't think you're ready for this.
That's what I'm saying.
I want to make sure I'm good.
Maybe we give it another year before you go to your first tractor pole.
I guess I could always do one of these.
How about that Cabota, right?
And if someone's like, I could just say, I know, I was just,
joking, stupid whatever.
Yeah. Maybe just don't say a friggin' words.
That's probably a good idea.
Keep to yourself.
Stand off to the side.
I don't know if you're ready for this after all.
What if I just walk around and say, where do I plug in my Prius?
Am I going to get kicked out of that?
If I ask everybody, where's the closest charging station?
Yeah, I'm worried about you.
Yeah, we're going to have to give this a year.
At least.
Next summer.
Maybe next summer.
Now, legitimately, thank you so much for these passes.
I can't wait to go.
I'm hoping you guys go.
Be fun to all hang out.
Oh, definitely.
Oh, my damn.
All right, I'm being told the correct answer is John F&Dier, if somebody brings up.
Hey, what's your favorite type of track?
Now, here's a little something.
A listener texting in.
And, boy, I bet you're waiting for this.
for this little gig to be completed.
One of our listeners checked in just to check in,
and we always appreciate that when you just send us a text and say who you are
and mention that you're there.
Luther Bloomington Keya text line, 651-989-93-93.
Guy texted in just to say hello.
And he's currently working on getting 280 open for you guys, he said.
Oh, I love you.
Thank you.
Thanks.
I mean, that's going to make a big difference to my life.
Oh, I cannot wait.
Has anyone been following this?
What's the time frame on this pig?
I thought right before the state fair.
Oh, really?
Yeah, which makes sense because, you know, a lot of people use that to get to and from the fair.
They use that area quite a bit.
So I bet the city's like, hey, we really need this done, please.
That would make sense to make sure that some bitch is operating by fair time because, sure, that's a main route over you go to Como or energy park.
Josh, that is a route that you regularly take, but you've been hamstrung here for a couple of months, right?
Yeah.
So, I mean, I'll have to wave.
I drive by the area every day, and I'll wave and thank everybody.
So that's great.
Thanks for thinking of us.
Get her done.
Get her effing done.
Okay.
Today's report.
Let's get around to it.
Oh, this is a big deal for some folks.
Right?
This ought to be a hell of a big deal.
For some of you, we're coming up on the day.
Well, it's a couple months away yet, but we're,
creeping up on the day when Grand Theft Auto Part 6?
Yep.
Yeah.
We'll be up for sale.
Hopefully.
Word is it's going to be a gang bang.
I know multiple people that are taking extended time off from their jobs in order to play it right when it comes out.
It's amazing the level of fandom this series has.
And also how much fans have put up with.
Oh, it's been so many years.
There's all those memes like this has happened since the last Grand Theft Auto game came out.
I mean, when did the last, was it, 2013?
Yeah.
The last one came out.
Sounds right.
And they've delayed it so many times.
So many times.
To the point where one of my friends it was going to come out last year,
so he had banked a certain number of days off.
And then he just banked those days that he didn't take off.
So now he's taking double the time off when Grant Dautado comes out in November.
Is there other games?
I mean, certainly there's very popular games.
But where people would take time off for?
I don't think anything to this level, no.
No.
probably not. I told you guys before
a buddy of mine
he owns a small business
he's a carpenter and so he's
a couple of guys that worked for him and
one guy disappeared at
lunch a few years back
and they couldn't get a hold of him
and they thought oh my God he's been in a car accident
thought he died. Yeah they were concerned
obviously and instead
they finally get a hold of him and it's a young guy
late teens early 20s
and he was in line at Best Buy to get the new place
station.
And they told them, you know, dude, you got to get back to work.
What are you thinking?
What do he say?
Well, but then I'd lose my place in line and I might not get a PlayStation.
And so they said, well, if you don't come back, we're going to have to let you go.
And he chose the PlayStation.
He had to fire the kids.
That's insane.
Some folks, they just don't get it.
I mean, hey, that sucks.
You can't get your PlayStation on day one, but you're willing to lose your job for.
You got a job to do.
But I suppose, when you think back to your late team,
early 20s, maybe there's a few people
in that situation. Maybe
maybe people don't care about their job.
I'm trying to remember if I care. Well, I guess I was here
and I did care. Well, you know, we were
when I had my warehouse
forklift driving gigs, you know,
right out of high school.
Yeah, we took
some days off that
might have been
looked at as ridiculous. I mean,
I ran the night shift.
at this warehouse.
And it was tough to find people who wanted to work that shift.
So I had three, four of my best buddies on the staff, on the warehouse crew.
And so, you know, one night we all just took the night off to go see ACDC.
You know, we worked from four to one, four to midnight, four to one o'clock in the morning.
And I remember having to tell the boss, yeah, none of us are going to be here tomorrow night.
And he said, well, what do you mean?
I said, yeah, we just can't make it.
And he said, yeah, we said, yeah, all of you?
I said, yeah, all five.
I said, yeah, all five.
We can't.
And he said, well, why?
And so, well, ACDC is coming to town.
He's like, oh, Jesus Christ.
You know, so I guess that would be one example.
That kind of makes more sense, though.
You can't control the time of that.
I mean, you can choose when you want to play your video game.
Sure, that's a good point.
Well, here's the deal.
It says we're three months away.
from the long-awaited release of Grand Theft Auto Part 6.
It's been 13 years since the last one.
And everything we've been talking about so far plays into where this article is going.
I asked a few people, or excuse me, I asked the question, like, what other franchises have people taken off of work?
And people are checking in.
Medical Device Jesus had World of Warcraft, Call of Duty, Diablo.
Those were well known for people taking off work.
Breath of the Wild, Dana.
Yeah, definitely.
The Zelda game, people took time off of work for?
I took some time off for that one.
Did you really?
Mm-hmm.
And that's exactly where we're going with this.
Okay, so it says the fresh episode of Grand Theft Auto is up for sale November 19th.
One company in California is bracing for total disaster.
They are called Burger Motorsports.
Ooh, working at a motorsports shop.
That would be fun.
That would be cool.
I wish I knew how to do that stuff.
I mean, that sounds like a fun place to work at a motorsports shop.
I used to just hang out at Audio King back in the day.
Didn't even work there.
Audio King.
Yeah, remember Audio King?
Yeah.
And I would just kind of help put sound systems in cars as a nerd.
You volunteered?
Pretty much.
I just really liked that stuff.
I ended up kind of hanging out, knew a couple of the guys.
Let me get this straight.
I put in shifts.
Wow.
Hang on.
Wow.
This doesn't surprise me because I, there are some other stories similar to this.
So you were just a kid.
You did not work at Audio King, but you would pull in.
and just hover around the employees.
So what you're asking is, I was just a customer.
I enjoyed what they did.
You're asking if I would show up, hang out, and then help out?
Yeah, without being paid.
The answer is correct.
Yes, that is correct.
Again, that doesn't surprise me because this is a guy who,
when he hires a crew to come over to his house, which is daily, again,
this nightmare garbage house that you bought a number of years ago,
but yet you're stubborn.
You don't want to give up on the house.
place. Although, tell me, how long have you lived there? Since January 2019. Day two, our furnace went
out, by the way. Six, seven years. Give me how much time in seven years has the house just been
you and your family and no workers in there during the day on the, can you even do that kind of a risk?
Yeah, this is the first year. This is the first year out of six, seven years.
where you can say you've truly had the house to yourself.
You have no crews coming over to fix the this, the at, and the other thing.
Correct.
We've had, there's a couple things that.
You realize that's ridiculous.
Yeah.
Well, I know.
It's the money pit.
It's the movie The Money Pit, if you remember it from the 80s.
And by the way, I predicted it was going to be that way.
We knew it was a fixer-upper.
That's how we afforded the neighborhood.
Had no idea it was that bad.
But for the first two and a half years we lived there, we had scaffolding in our living room
because they had to reframe the whole back of the house.
Total nightmare.
So, again, the story of you hanging around,
Audio King and then just volunteering your time and effort, even though you weren't being paid.
It doesn't surprise me because you've told me before that you've felt so guilty at times
watching the crew work in your house.
You've come home from this gig.
You put in enough hours at this gig.
You've come home from your real job and then put on knee pads and help the boys do projects
that you're paying them for.
Well, I just told them, hey, if you ever need an extra hand, you know, let me know.
Come on!
And they would ask sometimes like, hey, we got a guy sick.
Do you mind helping us grout this tile or something?
So I learned how to do that.
I didn't mind.
You know, I learned how to do it.
That's crazy.
But, you know, I wouldn't, that's different.
Like, I wouldn't hover over anybody or, you know, say.
Just go up into your bedroom and go to sleep.
That seems like it's rude.
Rude?
A couple of.
They're not guests.
They're working for you.
That's what the money is for.
I hear you.
I got to pay my friends.
But some of them are my better.
friends now. You know, like I still
hang out with the lines stuff? You know what it is? Josh, I'm
sorry, but that's creepy. Can I
go back to the Audio King thing real quick? It's creepy.
You're creepy. Maybe a little bit.
You're not creepy. I didn't mean that. The
one of my... Yes, the Audio King thing.
Lame Claim to Fame? Yes. We put in
a killer system in John Randall's
S. You. Who cares?
I said lame claim to thing.
All right. We like,
me and my partners. Me and my
goodness. Come on, Josh. I'm not trying to be
a dick, but you know that those audio
King guys were saying when you'd walk in
they're saying oh come on the kid
is back again I understand
I understand why you think that but there's still
some good buddies to this day I totally
hear you trust me I could pick up on a hint if they
didn't want me there all right so this company
in California
so many back to the
Grand Theft Auto thing
so many of their employees
at this motorsports shop in California
so many of them have already filled
out the paperwork to take
that day off meaning November 19
the release of Grand Theft Auto Part 6.
So many of their employees have already filled out the paperwork to take that day off.
They're just going to shut the place.
They're going to shut it for a few days to allow their employees to go out and get the game,
play it for a while and get it out of their system.
That's really cool.
They're not exactly pumped about it.
They've got no choice, really.
It sounds to me.
To me, it sounds like more of an act of desperation than what's the nice way to put it,
like a generous.
That was a bit of, that was my impression as well.
But, you know, they seem to understand.
They're already warning their customers that things might be a total nightmare for a while.
Sorry, we can't do whatever we do here at the motorsport shop for about four days because every swing and D is at home playing Grand Theft Auto Part 6.
Can you hear that, Josh, by the way?
Can you hear it?
Hear what?
the sound of our dead fathers and grandfathers rolling over in their graves,
hearing the idea of someone taking a day off work to play a video game.
But you know what?
They can't do a damn thing about it.
You want to know why?
They're dead.
That's true.
So go have fun, everybody.
Because they wanted to be.
Because they wanted to be some of them.
Yes.
So go have fun.
Take your days off for Grand Theft Auto.
November 19th.
All right.
I got an update.
Out of unity with our listing audience should we take that day off?
Probably.
Yeah.
That would be the right thing to do.
What were you saying?
I had mentioned that some of the folks that did some work on my house have become good buddies with.
Yeah, right.
I got to amend that.
One of them just said, we're not friends, you ass pickle.
And then an eggplant emoji.
What does that mean?
It means penis.
You are a penis?
Yeah.
Just trying to rig up this car stereo.
Jesus, it's hot in here.
I think I've put in about 50 hours this week.
week. Oh, come on. Who is that walking in? Oh, the kid again. Ah, here we go. You had no business.
I'm trying to work here. I start complaining about our lunch breaks. Why do we only get 30 minutes,
boys? This is ridiculous. You don't friggin' work here. They're punching in. I'm just standing
there, watch them punch in. I love it, though. I love it. It's so unique. It's so perfectly cubby
that he comes home after a long day's work, because you do put in hours. You do. A lot of folks don't
believe they just think we show up here at 535 and tell some dick jokes. Then we go home and,
you know, mall our gorgeous, significant others. We do put in some hours, especially Cubby.
And, I mean, you drag your ass into your house after putting on the radio show and everything.
And then you strap on some knee pads and start grouting a floor that someone else is being paid to do for you.
Well, I got a pending lawsuit because when I was grouting, um, our, our, our, our, our, our, our,
shower. I guess my shorts came down and my underwear was hanging out and my friend took a picture
of it. Your ass was hanging out. So I thought I'm going to hold on to that in case they ever
have to sue him. One hundred percent. That's really smart of you. Thank you. Oh, God.
You know what Josh, people ask me often and it's on top of my mind because it just happened this
weekend. They asked me like, is he really like that? What do you mean by the like that?
that nice and like that kind of guy that would you know volunteer free labor and I said yeah that's
exactly who he is I said 100 percent hey I get to learn something along the way and that's what's
important right the friendships and the education along the way oh the friendships that you pay for
hey it's worth it you know what Josh yeah I had a thought on that what's it all about again
the friendships and and the education you learn something sure I have a thought on that I do
Go get in bed.
And when you hear that, this is what I do, I go get in bed, I turn on the television,
and when I hear the noise stop, I come out.
Sounds like they're gone.
You don't feel, I'm not judging you.
Nobody here judges me, but you don't feel like that's a little rude?
No, rude.
These are not guests.
These guys, I've hired them to do a job.
No, I understand what you're saying.
No, I've never felt that way.
It's not company.
And I was assumed they don't want you hovering over them
and looking over their shoulder.
That's exactly why I stay out of the way.
You guys are making it seem like I'm hovering.
I'm not.
You're hovering.
No, I'm not.
I've seen you hover.
It's disgusting.
I've never hovered.
Never once hovered.
Not a hoverer.
All right.
We're going all the way back to Independence Day with this one.
A website or two is just now pushing out an article or two about these people.
We've got to deal with these people again.
people in Connecticut
say they saw a big foot walking
up and around
over 4th of July weekend
and I know what you're saying and I'm saying the same thing
how many times do we have to go through this song and dance
I kind of hope there is a big foot
nobody's buying it this crap
nobody in their right mind
at least is buying this
but I'll go ahead anyway.
Maybe we'll be able to have some fun.
So in the early morning hours of July 5th,
the dude driving a motor vehicle out in the middle of nowhere's in Connecticut,
he says he saw a big foot.
He says it jumped out the trees and directly in front of his rig.
He had to slam on his brakes so he wouldn't ram the bastard.
It was eight to eight and a half foot tall.
this supposed bigfoot.
I expected it to be a little bit bigger.
I was thinking like 10 feet.
Really?
You wanted a...
In my head, yeah.
Eight feet seems pretty good to me.
The supposed Bigfoot never stopped.
It never looked his way.
It just kept a going.
Here's more of what this dude had to say about the big foot that he saw.
He said it had matted and greasy looking long brown hair covering every part of its body.
Long arms, he says.
long. He says he was a skeptic
before all of this, but not anymore, skis.
Uh-huh, definitely. I'm sure he was just like completely normal, average, average guy.
So, since this ridiculous, supposed incident,
equally ridiculous, Bigfoot investigators
have gotten a hold of this dude to ask him all kinds of completely ridiculous questions.
One of the questions was, oh, what did they ask him?
They asked him if he thought the big foot he saw or was a male or a female.
And dude said, if the females are that big, I don't want to see a male.
So here you go.
This is the part that might make all of this garbage worthwhile.
The next brilliant question that was asked to our dude,
the Bigfoot investigators asked him
if the Bigfoot he saw had boobs
and
What? Are you kidding me right now?
Well they asked him if it was a male or a female. He said
He didn't really give him an answer. He, you know, he had that cute line. He said
if the females are that big, then I don't want to see. So they wanted to be sure.
So the investigators asked him, well, the Bigfoot that you saw
did it have boobs
and dude said
no there were no
boobs
wouldn't you I think I'd ask
well did it have a penis
that's how you know
I don't know what I'd say boobs
oh you would ask about the pecker
don't me don't get me wrong
I mean boobs are pretty cool
but I guess that wouldn't be my first thought
when I was trying to like penises
no not at all trying to identify
whether it was a male or female
you would have asked about the Johnson
they asked him about the boobs
I mean you got to ask the tough questions
especially when
you're a Bigfoot investigator, you've got to get to the gist of the...
Actually, if you were back on the dating apps and you saw Occupation Bigfoot Investigator,
you swipe right or left?
I'm swiping, I can't remember what's the good one, right?
Right.
You're just turning the phone off.
Dude, no, no, no, no, I'll be swipe right.
I've got questions.
You're curious?
I'm interested.
Yeah, let's go out to the bar.
Let's have some conversations.
This has got to stop at one point before my life is up.
Can this just stop?
And come on.
I really want there to be a big foot
Yeah, me too
Grown folks
Still chasing this stupid
Story around
I want them to be happy
Right, I want them to get on
Have some sort of big press conference
To the entire world
Breaking news
You know Bigfoot exists
And all they have to say is suck it
Told you
Yep
There's no way there's a big foot
But there would be kind of
You know there's absolutely no way
With cameras everywhere
No way
Like everybody says
it's always blurry.
I mean, everybody's camera is excellent on their phone.
There's no way.
Just stop.
Unless it has the power of invisibility.
I'm sorry?
Unless it has the power of invisibility.
Wouldn't that be a twist?
Maybe there could be a big foot.
In your mind, Josh, does Bigfoot have boobs?
Yeah, now it does.
It doesn't before.
Better than your grandmas?
Are you picturing a sexy Bigfoot, Josh?
He sort of is.
I think.
Did you ask that question in my mind, does Bigfoot have boobs just to set up that better
than your grandma's joke?
No.
I was sincerely wondering if while you were sitting there picturing Bigfoot, if you're picturing
it with boobs.
Well, to answer your very crass question.
Better than your grandma's?
Equally as great.
Just as perfect.
I'll be damned.
Now, this here lady deserves some recognition.
A Chinese gal.
don't you know?
She and her husband
have both gone
above and beyond.
The lady goes by the name
of Song.
That's pretty.
You like that name?
You know what she's been doing for about five
smooth years?
She's been putting her husband's toes
in her mouth. You down or what?
Nope. Kind of kinky.
I'll explain. Get your feet away from you.
Maybe your answer will change.
change, Ashley, once I explain.
What about the other way around?
No, I'd prefer nobody to be anywhere near my feet.
You don't want somebody bite in your feet?
Weird about feet in general.
The husband, a fella called Zhao,
he took on a terrible brain injury back in 20 plus 19.
Zau was saving some poor kid who was trapped on a roof or something like that.
Zau fell and cracked his effing skull open in the process.
of saving that kid and it sent him into a coma.
So Zhao is a friggin' hero for sure.
And then his wife, Song,
she took it from there, and she did some heroic
and maybe disgusting things of her own.
So the doctors told Zhao, well, they didn't tell Zao, he was out cold.
The doctors told Zau's family, including his wife,
Song, they said his chances of ever coming to again were mostly jack squat.
And Song said, oh yeah, I'll show you, Pricks.
She quit her job as a teacher to become Zau's full-time caretaker.
As part of Zau's rehabilitation, doctors told Song to stimulate his fingers and toes to help
with nerve recovery.
So she did.
One day, she
accidentally bit
one of his toes. There's no explanation
behind that, so try not to dwell on that,
but it says right here, she accidentally
bit one of his toes,
and she saw that Zau
made a little facial
expression that she hadn't seen.
He reacted.
So, she decided to cut
loose with that gimmick every day.
She'd cover his piggies
with a plastic bag
and then she'd
like a damn dog
she'd bite down
on his toes
gradually things improved
Zau opened his eyes
and the sum bitch is getting there now
yeah that's amazing
I wonder he's open and going
what the hell are you doing or what
he's thinking through all that
she's biting on his toes
the plastic bag I guess helps
Yeah
Yeah
So now you'd probably bite on your husband
Yeah
I guess
In that situation
Yeah absolutely
Right on the toes
This woman's name was song
Song
I met a woman named Lyric
On Friday
Oh I know a lyric
Do you?
At first lyric I've ever met
And
Half me running
So she was the hygienist
I had a dentist appointment
And then you helped her
Clean some teeth along the way
Yeah I pulled
Yeah
I polished it incisor
Yeah
You were at the dentist office?
I diagnosed a cavity and I performed a root canal.
You were at the dentist's office.
You met a hygienist named Lyric.
Yeah.
And so, you know, the woman in this story's biting toes was we were kind of talking about some creepy clients she's had in the past.
And she mentioned there was a guy, an old guy who she was doing a procedure.
And, you know, she's got her finger in his mouth, like moving things.
And he started to lick her finger.
No.
Stir her in the eyes.
I've heard creepy stories
and maybe if there's some hygienist
listening they could text in some of their experiences.
I had a hygienist in the past
who would talk about she really liked it
when they put the sunglasses on
because there'd be some creepy dudes
that would just stare her in the eyes lovingly, you know?
Or stare at the rack.
Right, sure.
But in this particular case, she said
like, and she said it was her first week on the job
and she had no idea how to respond.
She said she could handle it now.
You know, she's been doing it for a while.
but at the time it was just some old guy
completely licking her fingers
and then she said he came back about two weeks later
to finish the procedure and she was nervous about it
and then he didn't do it
so she started to wonder well what's wrong with me
why doesn't you want to lick my finger anymore
now I have all this experience at the dentist office I do
where I didn't go there for 20 years
but now I'm a regular
customer the sunglasses
I like it when they dump the sunglasses on you
because that way I can check them out
if I want to.
You know what I mean?
And they can't tell.
You're checking a mo?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, years ago,
25 years ago,
I went into the dentist for some reason.
This was my, you know,
how I took a 20-year vacation from dental.
You were busy.
Treatments.
My final final.
So when I was like 32 years old,
this was my last visit to the dentist before that 20-year drought,
I had a gal working on me who was just,
stacked.
It was tough.
And she beat me
with those damn things.
That was going to be my follow up.
Where are they supposed to go?
She couldn't help it and I had to sit
completely. I mean, I think she may have even made a comment
like, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I came out of there with a headache.
I mean, she, the position
she had to put them right on top of my head
a couple of times. I know exactly what you're talking about.
She no longer works there,
but there was a hygienist that worked there
forever. And
she used to say, like she had a very good sense of humor
and she's like, here's the thing, there's nothing I can do about it,
my boobs are going to be on top of you.
But now I can check them out.
Her name was lyric, huh?
Are you serious?
No, no, no.
I'm going back to your story.
Her name, the gal you met was lyric.
Yes.
I have not met just a hour ago, whatever, maybe less than that.
Earlier this morning, I made a reference to my warehouse gigs that I had
when I was in high school and fresh out of high school.
We had a lot of temps on that night shift.
A lot of temps.
Boy, there were some characters.
A lot of them just showed up for one night
so they could get some crack rock money.
Oh, yep.
I mean, it was kind of nerve-wracking,
and a few of them frightened me,
but it made the experience all that much more wonderful,
getting these five, six new characters every night.
God knows, you know,
what their real motivation was.
But anyway, where I'm going with this, Josh,
the name Lyric, you'd never heard that before.
Years ago, we got a fresh set of temps one night.
And we had a female temp, which was rare back in those days at this warehouse gig.
And her name was Mom.
Oh, really?
So me and my coworker.
Was she from somewhere else?
Yes.
Okay.
My coworker and I were getting a kick out of it in the two, three nights that she worked there, having to come around the corner and say,
uh, mom?
Mama.
Can you come over here?
We've got something for you.
Mom.
Break time, Mom.
It's break time.
Mom!
People are texting in saying lyric, huh?
That must be the first lyric you've ever listened to.
Yeah, that really is.
First one I ever paid attention to.
You mentioned temps.
She was a temp.
And I didn't know this was a thing, but she said it's quite common.
She's from Florida.
She was actually, I was her last appointment.
She's going back to Florida.
She signs like a contract to work for a few months up in Minnesota
because they're having a tough time finding dental hijacked.
I never knew that they did that.
Different kind of attempt.
Much different.
A little more motivated in life, maybe.
I wasn't comparing apples to apples.
I'm just saying I didn't realize they had that.
I could sit here all day and tell you about those frigging characters that would get,
they'd all show up in this van and we'd be looking to the window going,
okay, what are we going to get tonight, man?
Oh, man, it was something.
Sports on the 93X half-assed morning show.
Yeah, I suppose it kind of sucks to get walked off in back.
back-to-back ball games.
But, you know, about going the twins' way here and there,
we might be talking about a sweep this morning.
You know what I'm talking about, Cubby?
I'm trying to find a silver lining kind of a thing.
You're a silver-lining guy?
They got walked off yesterday.
They got walked off on Saturday playing up there in Seattle.
But close ball games.
Seattle's a good club.
It's a playoff club.
And yesterday, the twins made a furious comeback,
which was just insane to watch.
They were down 6-0-0.
Prestor all the way back to a tie ball game,
only to lose 7-6 there in the bottom of the 9th.
So there you go.
Weren't able to win this here series.
Now they got a day to themselves.
Oh, for cripes sake,
they start a series tomorrow in Kansas City.
But today's that trade deadline day.
I don't know what it is.
5, 6 o'clock tonight.
5 o'clock, thank you.
They have to close down any trade ideas
and there's still possibly something in the works for the twins.
They made another deal over the weekend.
I can tell you about it at 7.30.
But they are, in fact, after all the hubbub and all the jaw jacking,
they are going to make a push for this,
which is wonderful when you consider, of course, what happened last season.
So day off for the twins today.
Of course, the Dodgers were able to trade for the best pitcher in all of baseball.
We can get into.
God, dang it, something else I wanted to tell you, what the hell is it?
I swear I got it had something.
else for you. And I must have screwed it up.
Yeah. Dodgers made a trade for
Dickless there from the Detroit.
Randy Schaber and Brad Rider will join us at 7.
I swear to God, I had something now. I don't know what the hell it was.
I look forward to it at 7.30.
You think I'll come up with it by 730?
And I look forward to your freakout when the mic goes off.
My mic goes on. When the mics go off, I look forward to your freakout going.
What the hell did I do with that, son of a bee? What's going on?
Oh, you think I'll lose it? Probably.
Probably. I'll probably.
Josh's news is next.
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And it spells relief for you.
Half-ass morning show.
Remember, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
I think it's wrong that a woman had to feel for her life,
and she's just trying to go about her normal day and work out.
If I would have seen, I would have did something about it, you know, to help that lady.
New proof that cardio is officially bad for your health.
no trainer ever warned you about.
A Georgia man's response to a stranger wishing him a pleasant morning
was trying to turn her into roadkill.
Three separate times.
The victim was on a morning run when she passed 21-year-old Jesse Davis.
She uttered a polite hello and good morning and then kept jogging along.
However, Davis somehow took that personally,
hopped into his car and put the pedal to the petty.
These people that's out here on the street,
that's doing these type of things, it needs to stop.
For no discernible reason.
They said hello to each other.
She said hello to him.
Yeah.
And good morning.
And that was it.
That was the only interaction they had.
And next thing you know, she's jogging him for her life.
Yeah.
For no discernible reason, he got behind the wheel of his Toyota four runner over and attempted a few rounds of jogger slaughter.
He tried to mow down the victim on three separate occasions for no apparent reason.
All the while, the victim was on the phone with 911.
I can't even get a hate.
Oh, my gosh.
He got me so scared.
Are you somewhere safe that he can't hit you with his car?
Yeah, I'm behind the garbage can.
Okay, just hide there.
Fortunately, Davis was far better at hitting stationary objects than moving ones.
His escape sputtered to a stop after he slammed into a parked car on his way out of the complex
before wrapping his ride around a utility pole a short distance down the street.
He had struck another vehicle as he was leaving the complex.
He finally ended up colliding with a light pole.
The suspect's mug shot in which he has a bit of a resemblance to the serial.
killer Chuckie doll is on 93x.com.
Dude, yeah.
Like, it looks a lot like them.
It's very disturbing.
At first I thought it was the Chucky doll in his mugshot.
Unfortunately for him, his legal situation is in child's play.
Chuckie's now facing real grown-up charges for aggravated assault and hit and run.
That's not right.
That's frightening.
Yeah, no self.
Just don't speak to anybody ever.
Yeah, I guess don't be pleasant to someone.
But I bet she put up some personal best time.
in her jog that morning.
You know what I mean?
Good at zigzagging.
A lot of steps.
She put in more steps than usual, I would imagine.
She maintained her composure pretty well there, too.
Well, you got to keep your composure.
I liked the way she said how she sounded when she said she was hiding behind the trash can or the garbage can.
A Minnesota Sheriff's Office had a message for a suspect who decided to live stream his 100
mile per hour police chase.
Those guys are so cool, right?
Thank you.
Yes, totally.
Not exactly the thank you note most people.
expected after a high-speed pursuit, but the Chisago County Sheriff's Office has never been one to miss a chance for a little social media sarcasm.
Deputies with the department, which has built a reputation for its witty online presence over the years,
appreciated the suspect's unexpected contributions so much they penned an open letter which was directed to him,
a note of gratitude with a generous garnish of sarcasm and only a sprinkle of sincerity.
Dear criminal, we just wanted to say thank you.
Not for the 100 mile per hour plus midnight tour of Chisago County you started.
That part felt unnecessarily dangerous, the letter began.
The sheriff's office said the pursuit started with a routine traffic stop
after the suspect racked up a few lane and equipment violations.
But when a deputy approached the vehicle,
the suspect appeared to already be searching for an exit strategy.
Our deputy walked up to your window and there you were, avoiding eye contact.
mumbling and staring at your phone as if it were going to text you an escape plan, the post read.
The suspect then sped away, tossed trash out the window, turned off his headlights, and rocketed off at a perilous pace.
You drove over 100 miles per hour, crossing lanes of traffic like you were auditioning for the fast and the delusional, the letter read.
Thankfully, deputies noted it was the middle of the night and there was little traffic on the road,
but the biggest surprise came when investigators discovered the suspect that live streamed part of that pursuit
on Facebook.
I hope all of his followers were just thrilled by it.
Yeah, I hope we got the likes he needed.
Most people use Facebook to share vacation photos or pictures of their kids playing sports.
You used it to provide evidence, taking community engagement to a whole other level, they wrote.
During the live stream, the suspect claimed officers were trying to pit his vehicle.
We weren't, the letter revealed.
We did, however, introduce your tires to a nice set of stopsticks, they wrote.
The sheriff's office wrapped up the letter with one final piece of unsolicited health advice.
One last thing from a place of genuine concern.
Ingesting your meth before we arrest you really isn't the wellness plan we'd recommend it, Red.
Oh, it was a meth head, huh?
The sarcastic sheriff's shout-out quickly became a social media hit with commenters
applauding the department's playful approach to public relations.
Whoever wrote this needs a raise, one person wrote.
To the PR person, please never.
Stop being the PR person, read another.
You have to be the best county in our state as the humor comes out so brilliantly and I love it,
someone else wrote.
The praise poured in from beyond Minnesota, too, including this comment, I still follow
you all the way from down here in Texas just for these stories.
The Susago County Sheriff's Office may have delivered the punchlines, but Minnesota still delivers
the penalties for drivers topping 100 mile per hour.
You can get in trouble.
In Minnesota, driving with...
over 100 comes with some serious consequences.
Those speeds result in a mandatory six-month driver's license revocation, a fine that
usually exceeds about $350 and potential misdemeanor charges as well.
Yeah, nothing but fun.
He's going to be in a lot of trouble.
He'll be back.
He'll be back.
Probably.
Nothing will change.
He provided all the evidence they needed.
A 38-year-old Minnesota man took the classic get-off-my-lawn routine to what many
consider the extreme, and now he's facing criminal charges. According to the complaint,
the Wyoming Police Department responded to a neighborhood near Goodview Park following reports
of spikes planted in a yard. What, dude? Where are you just getting spikes? A concerned mother
had also alerted officers that a nearby resident had been screaming at her children to get the F off his
fescue. When officers arrived at the scene, they discovered a wide strip of plastic embedded in the
turf with the star of the home alone worthy sod show, roughly 43-inch screws pointing straight up,
a contraption that would make even Kevin McAllister proud. Police spotted clear bicycle tracks
leading from Goodview Avenue directly across his grass, a well-worn shortcut into the park.
It didn't take long for investigators to conclude the Looney Tunes level lawn trap was placed
specifically to stop young riders in their tracks. When speaking with police, he owned up.
to setting the snare, complaining that he had yelled at the kids hundreds of times,
and they still biked through his yard, maybe even out of spite, he said.
Oh, 100%.
I would never leave this guy alone.
That's kind of how it goes, right?
Man.
He insisted to officers that he never intended to hurt anyone, only to scare him off,
and admitted he was frustrated that his makeshift deterrent hadn't stopped the young cyclists.
Last week, prosecutors charged the homeowner in Chicago County District,
court with one count of setting a, quote, spring gun, pitfall, deadfall, snare trap.
He's scheduled to appear in court later this month.
Ah, man.
You never know what kind of crackpots you got living in your neighborhood.
Yeah, we don't have anything like that.
We got a couple cranks, for sure.
We got the guy that...
Cranks?
Yeah.
What does that mean?
He's cranky.
Cranky person?
There's a couple, or there's one guy in particular who, uh, you know,
He doesn't have a fence, but he does have a bunch of keep-out signs that essentially created a fence around his year.
One of those, huh?
I'd tell you, one of the dirtiest tricks I ever saw in my life, and this was a sign that one of my buddies growing up was going to be a dangerous lunatic when he was older.
And that was true.
We were in Canada on a fishing trip, and we had some downtime at the campground.
We were like, I don't know, 11-year-old kids, maybe.
and we're just hanging out at the beach at this Canadian resort.
And here comes five or six teenage kids on their motorbikes.
You know, I don't know, Josh's, 125s or something, right?
Nice.
And they're burning up and down the beach.
They're a few years older than us, probably 15 or 16.
And we were just little kids that we were 11 or 12 just watching them go by.
Well, kind of like the Cobra Kai gang, right, on their 150.
Yeah, yeah.
They stopped.
and they're like, where are you guys from?
We're like, oh, we're from Minnesota, here fishing on vacation.
Oh, yeah?
And they gave us, it was a long time ago, so I can't remember what exactly was exchanged,
but these Canadian kids kind of gave us a little bit of attitude,
tried to scare us a little bit, like you Minnesota punks, you American idiots, whatever.
There was some kind of nonsense like that going back and forth.
Oh, I didn't say dick, really, because these guys were a few years older than us,
and it appeared to me.
It appeared to me that they could easily kick our ass.
So anyway, there was like just a little bit of static.
They gave us some crap and then they rode off.
Well, my buddy, I don't know, an hour later, I see he's got a two by four and he's pounding nails into this two by four.
Oh, I should backtrack.
One of the real thrills these Canadian kids were getting on their 150s or 125, whatever they were,
is they were going splashing through this big puddle.
This big puddle of water had collected there on the beach.
So that was part of their fun.
It was, boom, splashing through the water.
So next thing, you know, my buddy's pounding nails into a two-by-four.
I said, what the hell are you doing?
Oh, I'm going to get those Canadian pricks back.
So he goes to that puddle and buries that two-by-four with the nails sticking out.
And then, I don't know, the next day we watched the same Canadian kids go beating ass through that puddle and all pop their tires.
Oh, man.
Everybody's okay, I hope?
I don't know.
Not your problem.
Okay enough.
I mean, how diabolical.
And it was foreshadowing.
It really was because this kid, who I was one of my best friends all the way through school,
he did turn out to be a bad person.
But I mean, that was his thing.
They gave us a little bit of static and he's going to get the some bitches back.
Popped all the tires on their mini bikes.
I had a buddy who got in trouble.
He lived at the end of the block was a church that had school attached to it.
And there were like little kids on the day they were going to run around the block,
you know, for Jim.
It was that day.
His mom worked there, so he knew it was coming.
And he put a trip line with some fishing line and made a trip line right in front of his house.
So he could watch these little kids.
I'm going to guess second graders fall right in front of his house.
Oh, my Lord.
Just to watch little kids each.
Yeah.
Now, here's the thing.
Like, he didn't grow up to be a psycho.
But all of us were like, dude, we're out of high school at this point, right?
Maybe even out of college.
That's a little bit different.
That's what we told him.
So he's like 20 years.
Oh, okay. Yeah, I thought he was like 14.
No, older than 20.
Way too old to be doing that. Early 20s.
I'm like, little kids, man. What are you thinking?
I can see the fun in that.
I mean, it's kind of funny idea, but you don't do it.
No, I don't think I would have had that idea when I was 20.
I could see having that idea when I was 13.
But he's not like, you would never guess.
If you picked like a lineup out of our friends, there's no way we would guess he'd be the guy.
He had one little moment of temporary.
psychosis there as a 20-year-old.
Well, then he got, like, bitched out because he was watching people outside of the
Richfield Chipotle several years ago in the parking lot.
There was some ice. And he sat in his car and watched people fall.
Oh, my gosh.
There you go. That's fun because he's not, it's not like he made the ice.
Yeah, exactly.
He wasn't out there creating it, but he just kind of sat there and some.
That's just free entertainment.
A lady noticed what he was doing and started yelling at him, like, you know, people can get
hurt. You should be warning folks more than anything.
So he likes to watch people.
fall, I guess. I get it. We might need the Vatican to petition the Almighty for an additional
commandment to the Ten Commandments because it might be helpful to chisel, thou shalt not fart into
the tablet. Cops in California are on the lookout for a man who did a local church dirty there,
showing the ultimate disrespect by whipping out his meat staff of Moses and leaving a poopie on
the property. The gross devil's not-so-holy deposit was made during a bizarre overnight break.
break in at the TLC Fellowship just before 10 p.m. early last week.
God took a in the church?
Yep. He did.
And exposed himself.
Exposed himself to who?
To just, he was naked while he was doing it.
Or half naked, I should say.
Surveillance camera video shows the unique Sunday best consisted of a bicycle helmet,
an unbuttoned blue shirt and black pants, which didn't stay on very long.
Then came the unholy communion.
He pooped.
cameras caught the culprit crappin
then instead of
taking a seat in the pews
the cyclist added some pews to the seats
delivering a steaming pile of sacrilege
as of press time
the crass congregant was still on the lamb
of God
this guy
uh shame
shame probably not like a deep
statement against religion this is probably just some
uncorked maniac
yeah that's what they think there's no real
motivation it was just he was on something
and probably had some issues even without that.
The 14th season premiere of Futurama streams today on Hulu.
James Hetfield turned 63.
The director of Animal House, the Blues Brothers,
the Kentucky Fried Movie,
an American Werewolf in London,
Trading Places Coming to America and Michael Jackson's Thriller Video,
filmmaker John Landis 76.
How is that guy?
It just very young, much younger than I thought.
you were going to say. He's been around doing things forever.
Yeah. Must have been super. And usually good stuff like you mentioned. Yeah, that's a great list.
The Blues Brothers, I mean, you can't beat it.
Happy birthday to Ken is Real Jesus. One of the crew working around the clock, shipping cement to
highway 280 to get her done for us. We use it daily. Shout out to too old to be cute, Jesus.
Leaving on a jet plane Thursday. Going to Italy for three weeks, ladies and gentlemen.
And a shout out to the nuclear medicine crew at the VA. Thanks, says Deadhead Jesus.
And that's 93X News.
Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder on the half-ass morning show.
Andy Shaver, hello, Brad Ryder.
Hello, hello.
Good morning.
Welcome to the Monday show.
Randy Shaver, we were talking earlier about last Friday's brostout cancer event.
I sure hope it was everything you dreamed it would be.
It was fantastic, and I'm sorry that you did not feel well enough to be able to finish out with us.
Yeah, I had to punk out.
Josh and Ashley were there for the NU and C. Willie for the whole smear and they had nothing but good things to say. Josh said he met some new people and also what's the word I'm looking for? Josh, you reminisce with some old friends.
Some regulars. And we don't know all together what we raised, but I understand it was a big pile.
And when we can make that official announcement, I look for, because our listeners deserve a lot of credit again for supporting the cause.
They made us look good. And it was packed.
Everyone seemed to be having a good time.
See Willie was awesome on the mic.
He really had the crowd going.
It was a lot of fun.
Really busy, too.
Yeah, very busy.
We wrapped up, I think, the line,
a little after eight, it seemed like it slowed down.
I was telling Nick, maybe you noticed this too, Randy,
because you were up there.
There were a couple, like, these big power lifting dudes
that went through five times.
They set the record.
Oh, easily, yeah.
That chicken was that good.
Were those the two gibronies that my brother was sitting with?
No, well, they came up.
up a couple. It was a couple other guys. I didn't recognize them. Yeah. That came up there.
They can put away some carcass. But my son appreciates what you guys do. He says the best chicken
he's ever had. He's a broasted chicken fan now. I'll tell him we said thanks. But it was cool
hanging out with everybody. And like I mentioned, I mean, C Willie was so funny. And just his
commentary while we're at the line was really good. Fun times. Oh, yeah. Another successful
event. Yeah, absolutely.
We also gave thanks earlier to a character that was passing out some tickets.
Well, he donated to the auction. The Corcoran Lions donated some demolition
derby and tractor pull tickets to our silent auction. So we wanted to say thanks.
I know we gave a lot of shoutouts last week leading up to the event.
but now just a last minute word up and a thanks to the Corcoran Lions.
They donated those, again, tractor pull tickets, demolition derby tickets.
Thanks to everyone who donated.
And if you meant to but didn't get a chance, we have another event coming up in December calling for a cure bingo.
We're going to do another run, make another run at a bingo event at the Legion coming up at the end of the year.
So there you go.
Sounds great.
And Josh said he'd never been up to this point in his.
life. He's never been to a tractor pole.
No, it's right up my alley. So I was so
excited to receive those. I can't
wait to go.
End of December. Pardon me. End of August.
End of August. Tractor pole there
at the Hennepin County
Fairgrounds. Yeah, thanks again to the folks
that hooked us up with that. Randy Schaeber, you
and Brad, you guys have been to a tractor pole or two,
right? I have not, believe it or not.
I experienced a tractor pole
every day growing up on the farm.
Yeah, he didn't need to go see it live
He lived it every day.
I was working it every day.
Well, Randy Schaber, you've also never been to a tractor pull.
You got to be Cubby's plus one then for this event.
Oh, that'd be great.
That'd be fun.
We could get you full of canned beer, get you a sleepless shirt.
We had a couple of people text in.
You know, I was saying I haven't gone.
It's silly that I haven't because I love this kind of thing.
And they were saying, bring ear plugs.
That was their advice.
Yeah.
It's loud.
I don't know if you need ear plugs.
Not that loud?
I mean, it's been a while for me, but I've been to dozen.
of them. Yeah, let's get Randy Shaver a set of cowboy boots. We already talked about Josh
is going to need to find something other than basketball shorts to wear to the tractor pull.
I'll find some Levi's. Because he's worried someone's going to kick his ass at the tractor pull.
Big belt buckle. I had some bad ideas earlier, so yeah, I'll have to change things up.
Yeah, well, that's cool. I mean, tractor pulls are a blast. I'm kind of surprised that there's two
of us who's never been to one. I've never been to one. That probably doesn't surprise anybody.
Where to hell were you an hour and a half ago when we brought this up? Oh, I was scared to say you
haven't gone. Right, yeah. And I was also scared to say that I don't even know what a tractor pole is.
Well, you did kind of rip a tractor pole without even knowing what it is. Exactly. Well,
then now we got three guys. Brad, I'd ask this earlier, if I show up at a tractor pole wearing a shirt
that says she thinks my tractor's sexy, are they going to kick me right out of there? They're going to
know them? No, I don't think so.
I think people would laugh.
Don't wear any of that gimmicky stuff.
Just a pair of T, what do you call it, a pair of blue jeans.
Put yourself, get rid of those stupid tennis shoes.
You're not an 11-year-old.
Wear some chaps.
You know what?
I wonder if I could pull off a cowboy hat.
No.
You don't think I have the face of a cowboy hat.
Don't overdo it, Josh.
You're not going there to be noticed.
Yeah, blend in.
That's what I mean.
I want to blend in.
So, yeah.
No, you would stand out like a moral.
on if you wore a cowboy.
All right.
Blue jeans.
Get yourself a, you know those imitation work boots that I used to wear?
Yeah.
Get a pair of those.
White T-shirt.
Cigarettes.
Roll the cigarettes up in the sleeve.
My dad used to do that.
Backwards, ball cap.
You guys will be fine at the trackbook.
Get you a couple of tuffs of wheat and put those in your mouth.
Again, Brad, Brad, we're trying not to get a dude's ass kicked here.
Yeah, I'm looking for real advice.
Chewing tobacco and you're looking.
Lip. Sure. Upper Decker? Or is that trying too hard?
Upper Decker. That's for the pros. Yeah, I can't do that.
Yeah. All right. Coming up at the end of August, again, thanks to the Corcoran folks.
Yeah, I can't wait. We'll get you guys going into the tractor pull.
What else is going on around here? Oh, yeah, sure. The twins over the weekend. Yeah, they got walked off and back-to-back ball games. That's a pisser. But, I mean, all close ball games.
Yeah. There's a long way to go. I mean, I think sometimes when we, and the trade deadline ends today at 5 o'clock. So there's still opportunities to make some moves.
I think sometimes when the trade deadline comes, we think, oh, man, there's only a few weeks left of the season. No, there's two months left of the season.
Yeah, I was just looking at the schedule yesterday. Yeah, we got a poke yet.
It is a long way to go. Forty-nine games. Yeah. So there's a lot of opportunity, a lot of time.
for all these teams to make some things happen over the next couple of months.
But the twins go out.
They get themselves a starting pitcher and Darren Kremmer, and they pick up, Dean Kremmer, I should say,
and they pick up A.J. Mentor, the relief pitcher.
And they may make something else happen today, too.
They may actually, maybe they do trade Ryan Jeffers today.
Who knows what they end up doing.
But the trade deadline will end today at 5 o'clock.
Now apparently...
I'll say I keep reading that they're in the mix for Louisa Rice.
That would be something to get him back.
That'll be wonderful.
Yeah, that would be great.
I haven't read those rumors yet.
I haven't read any rumors about Louisa Rice.
He's definitely going to get traded.
I don't think there's any question about the fact that the Giants are going to deal him.
It's just a matter of who is willing to give up what the Giants would want in return.
So Luis Arise back in a twins uniform batting lead off.
Holy balls. That would be ridiculous.
They did, I mean, not that they planned it according to this, but they did move Kishal to the outfield a few weeks ago.
They do need a little bit of help there.
And he wants to play second base.
Yeah.
So, you know, I guess it's a possibility.
He just depends on what the twins are willing to give off.
Now, there was apparently a deal more or less done a day or two ago where the twins
were to send Trevor Larnick to the Houston Astros in trade for a pitcher by the name of Brian Abragu.
But at the last minute, the Astros owner, some fella by the name of Jim Crane,
Knicks the trade.
Don't know why.
But it's possible that they're still trying to work things out with the Astros or some other club involving Trevor Larnock.
You mentioned Ryan Jeffers.
There's all kinds of possibilities today.
This is really fun.
This is exciting.
This is such a contrast or I guess the complete opposite of what we were going to.
going through a year ago. This is cool.
If it was Trevor Larnick a year ago,
I would have been thrilled with that deal.
As of right now, I mean, he's
their second best hitter right now.
Yeah, he's been having a great year.
I mean, and hitting leadoff.
He's been really good.
So we'll see.
I mean, the twins, obviously, they're in the mix.
They're only a game back of Cleveland
in the wild card, and there's a
long, long way to go.
So let's see.
Back to yesterday's game.
So they were down six.
nothing.
Yeah.
And came back, five in the eighth, one in the ninth to tie it up.
And of course, the Mariners were able to scratch a run across there in the ninth.
And that sucked in everything to get walked off.
But here's what grabbed me.
I was reading an article on yesterday's game.
This was written by a Seattle Mariners supporter.
And he referred to Cal Raleigh.
I mean, what a difference.
Like we were just saying, what a difference a year makes.
in the twins approach to the trade deadline.
And what a difference a year makes specifically for Cal Raleigh.
Last year, he was absolutely the terror of Major League Baseball,
maybe second only to Otani.
I don't know.
They were both right there for MVP, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was him and Judge for MVP.
Him and Aaron Judge.
Oh, okay, Aaron Judge.
Yeah.
And he got that hilarious nickname, the Big Dumper,
because of the ass he carries around.
This article I read yesterday referred to Cal Raleigh as the big
Disappointer.
Yeah.
It said here,
the big disappointer,
Cal Raleigh put
yesterday's ball game out of reach,
or it appeared he put yesterday's
ball game out of reach with the three-run
dong and the seventh inning.
The twins made the comeback,
but wow, that's kind of cold-blooded.
A year ago, he's the big dumper.
Everyone's swinging from his jock now.
He's the big disappointer.
Trust me, I'm aware.
I'm in a home-run pool league,
and guess who my first round pick was this year?
Oh, Brad.
He's.
Son of a bitch, Brad Rider.
Yeah.
So here we go.
The feathers can chill today, and they can all sit back,
and a few of them will be wondering, you know,
if there's going to be a plane ticket put in their lap today.
But they can chill today.
Come tomorrow, they'll be looking at the opener of a three-game series in Kansas City.
Yes, Josh, it will be August in Kansas City.
Hoof, I've heard about the weather.
Yes.
Tomorrow, it will officially be August.
in Kansas City.
And how hot is it?
Oh, you're going to find out, Randy.
What is your favorite American expression?
August, in Kansas City, it's hotter than two rats in a fucking move sock.
That's my favorite.
Of course, the Dodgers were able to trade for the best pitcher in all the baseball.
I know.
I know.
Randy's little boy toy, Tarek Scouble, is now a Dodger.
No longer interested in Tarek Scoobo.
at this point. Oh, yeah? Yeah.
You've fallen out of lust with him?
Yep, yep. I just
can't root for the Dodgers. No, nobody can't.
Nobody can't. They made what they're calling a blockbuster
trade with the Detroit Tigers. The team Scoobled now used to
work for. But here's the thing. In return,
the Tigers got
I mean, some prospects.
So you understand
the controversy going around right now.
don't you? Have you read the
conspiracy theories?
Yeah. Okay, Cubby has.
Here's what people are texting about
or not texting, tweeting about.
The Tigers did not get a single one
of the Dodgers' top four prospects in this trade
for the best pitcher in baseball.
They got a number five prospect,
a number seven, or number 17.
So many feel that
pretty much every other team in the league
could have topped the Dodgers offer, but refused to do so.
So fans and even some reporters are suggesting that the rest of the league could be colluding
to gain leverage during the upcoming collective bargaining agreement negotiation.
So you're saying that the Tigers did this on purpose to trade to the Dodgers in order for
this thing to keep moving forward?
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
For a short-term bump for a long-term gain, essentially.
Yeah, here are some of the tweets.
It says here, if you told us.
me a majority of Major League Baseball owners
were colluding so that they could use the Dodgers
as the reason for a salary cap
I'd believe you at this point.
Another one said, this is coordinated.
All the owners are in on this.
They want the Dodgers to do this
win another World Series
with Tarek School Bowl.
So they have public support
when they lose the 20 and 27 season.
It's all been the game plan from
day one.
And one more tweet says,
One more tweet says, I honestly think this is collusion.
These cheap owners want the Dodgers to three-peat to justify a lockout and a salary cap.
That's the controversy.
Or the conspiracy, I should say.
They've got enough support already.
I mean, I don't know why they would need to do.
Well, they do, but if the Dodgers win the World Series after getting Terrick Scoobal,
I think that puts it clearly over the top.
Yeah.
So I think that's why they're saying what they're saying.
Mm-hmm.
There's always something going on in the background, isn't there, Cubby?
There's always some kind of conspiracy theory.
Seems that way.
It's enjoyable.
It is. It's entertaining.
Things aren't what they seem.
Should Scoobel...
You're right. Things aren't always what they seem.
No.
No.
Should the scuba deal lead to a third consecutive World Series victory?
Fans believe the league may soon take away the financial tools the Dodgers have gotten so good at using.
It's going to be a nightmare, isn't it?
It could be a very long lockout.
Are there any other baseball trades that blew your skirt up?
Well, I mean, Freddie Peralta got traded at Tampa Bay.
I thought that was interesting.
Peralta's had a miserable year with the Mets.
I mean, coming off the best season of his career to his worst season ever,
certainly did not help the Mets cause.
You know, the White Sox traded for Luis Castillo.
He's been having a terrible year.
I think some of these trades that you see are being made
are players that these teams hope will kind of rebound
with a change of scenery.
Like Kevin Gousman traded to the Cubs yesterday from Toronto.
Gousman's had kind of a really not a great year.
But he's a veteran pitcher who's been there before.
So I don't think there's anything here that's surprising.
I think the scoble, what they got in return for scubel is surprising in the sense that they didn't really get a ready-to-go player or two in that deal.
And one of the pitchers in that deal is already 27 years old.
Yeah. River Ryan.
So it's –
Yeah, no big league.
Ready players.
Yeah, I just don't.
Which is not surprising.
Which is not surprising because when you're dealing a guy like scuba for prospects,
you want the return to be down the road.
These guys will be under your control for years and you win with them.
But scuba is a little bit different animal, right?
I mean, you would hope that you would get something back that you could use like right away.
He broke your heart, didn't he?
He broke your heart.
Yeah, I mean, the whole thing is kind of, I don't know.
It's just deflating.
When you look at the twins and the trades that they made and we think like, oh, we got a nice little arm, that'll help.
And then the Dodgers can just go, let's get the best pitcher in baseball and give up some mid-level prospects for them.
Yeah, but you know what?
There's other teams that could have done that too, right?
I mean, there's other teams that could have gotten scoble.
Right.
I mean, Milwaukee was in the conversation.
and it's all part of the thing.
It might be.
Collusion.
It could be.
Yeah.
I'm buying it.
I'm not going to rule that out.
No, Randy Shaver ain't ruling it out.
No, I guess I'm not either.
The trading deadlines become a little bit different than that.
Some of these teams are making deals, both teams are in the playoff hunt, and one team needs this,
and the other team needs that, and it's not so much that you're giving away a star for prospects
anymore. Some of these deals
you're mentioning are benefiting both teams
now, but obviously the scoobble deal
is different. Oh, wow, listen to this question.
And I agree with you, Bradrider. Listen to this. This is
a loaded question. You picked them up.
You dropped them. Jesus. So baseball
is headed for disaster. We all know that.
So here's the question.
If you had to get rid of one sport, just get rid
of it all together.
What would it be if you had to choose between baseball,
football, and basketball?
I guess we're not counting hockey. I think we should
throw hockey in there just because it's a ridiculous
scenario, just jaw jacking for fun here.
If he had to get rid of one sport altogether,
what would it be, football, baseball, basketball, or hockey?
You have to choose one.
It's tough. I know where I'd go.
Well, I mean...
Professional football.
We're talking at the professional level.
Yeah, we're talking about NFL, Major League Baseball, NHL, or NBA.
I'd get rid of the NFL. I've had enough of it.
If the NHL went away, I don't think I'd shed too many tears.
Dana would get rid of the NFL.
the National Hockey League.
Josh.
Well, I'm keeping Foxy Boxing.
Was that on the list?
Not on the list.
Okay, so that one's safe?
I don't know, man.
That's tough.
You can't do anything with Foxy Boxing.
Major League Baseball, NHL, NFL, NBA.
Go!
I don't want to answer that question.
I figured you wouldn't.
Dang.
Because I'm...
I think for me, it's a flip of the coin between hockey and basketball.
I'm not sure.
I'm sorry, one more time.
I was writing a note here.
your name is a Brad.
Yeah, for me, it's a flip of the coin right now between basketball and hockey.
I'm not sure.
Oh.
I'm surprised with that.
Oh, I suppose you may have had a bad experience.
You don't like basketball anymore?
No, I'm just, I'm more of a, I'm more, I like baseball for the history and nostalgia, and I played it.
And you were hurt.
Did anyone not answer yet?
I don't want to piss off all the hockey listeners either, so I don't want to say hockey.
Brad.
Randy, did you decide yet?
Well, I mean, well, I grew up in Iowa, so I didn't play hockey, nor did I watch it.
Understandable.
I would say hockey for me.
Okay, okay.
Interesting question.
That's tough.
I wouldn't miss the National Football League at all.
I would.
But you said Foxy Boxing is safe.
They effed it all up.
They effed it all up.
Your name is Josh.
What about Foxy Boxing?
That's safe.
Not going anywhere.
I think for me, it's between baseball and basketball, but I'm really,
starting to like basketball because of you and your wife,
you know, your passion for it, and it's been fun.
And my wife loves it, but I probably lean
kind of towards baseball. And I guess
the recent situation with the twins
probably doesn't help.
There you go. I mean, this is
a safe, tough, though.
Safe place. I love going to games. No one's judging
anyone's answer here.
Oh.
All right.
Enough with this Harrison Bader guy,
for Christ's sake, but here's the latest on
this idiot. The New York
Giants, that's incorrect. The San Francisco
Giants, where he works,
they're not paying him anymore.
They said they're not paying. They're not paying him any more money until he returns
to what they call here performing activities.
Yeah, you got drunk on a scooter and crashed into a fire truck.
You guys know the whole story, right? I don't blame him.
No, no, no one's here to blame. The truck did run over
his foot. It's just hilarious.
Yeah, you know, we got all kinds of different reports on this baiter.
And what the hell happened the other night when he was, all right.
They say it was late night.
They say witnesses saw him drinking at multiple bars that night in San Francisco.
You know, I know I called them drunk a minute ago.
I shouldn't have said that.
We don't know exactly what was going on.
But he was spotted slugging beers at a couple of roadhouses.
And they saw him get on this electric scooter.
But at first it was he ran into a fire truck, you know.
they let us to believe that it was...
But what really happened here was...
He did both.
He ran into it and then it rolled over his foot.
Yeah.
Boy, I bet that hurt.
And that was the same foot that he'd been...
You know, he had a planter fasciitis issue.
He was just about ready to come back and play.
It's not the brightest bulb on the tree.
It doesn't sound that way.
Well, at least that night.
Was he wearing a matching colors?
Matching outfit?
He did that with the twins.
Former twin.
He would wear what now?
He would wear like a matching wristbands with the color of the hat or whatever.
Fashionable, gentlemen.
Yeah, he was very much into that kind of thing.
A dapper gentleman.
So in the end, yes, he rear-ended a damn fire engine.
Chasing a fire truck.
And then somehow it ran over his bad foot.
And the giants have said, look, you know, maybe eight times out of ten, we'd keep paying a guy.
But not in this case.
paying you any more money until you come back to playing baseball you goofball oh man
probably a decent time to mention that today's program is brought to you by hogbauer automotive
third avenue and main street yeah love those boys down there at hogbauer it ain't how much
it's how much you got and i was reminded to bring up our sponsor by a text message it came in
this morning bearded organic farmer jesus i don't know if he's working for hogbauer or not
but he said this in his text machine.
He said, question, remember when Shaver spun out and wrecked his Thunderbird?
Oh.
Yeah, I remember that.
How long ago was that?
Oh, I don't know.
Three years ago, maybe?
To the question is, Randy, do you think you possibly could have avoided that crash with a new set of tires from Hogbauer Automotive?
Well, no, I don't think so because the semi had, it didn't really matter.
Because I had a semi hit me.
Or if you were on a scooter.
Oh, yeah.
Wow, that was three years ago?
Yeah.
After me running.
This portion of the half-assed morning show is brought to you by Hogbauer Automotive.
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You know, we had our little conversation there, completely hypothetical.
If we had to get rid of one major sport, what would it be?
And the choices were the four big ones, NHL, NBA, NFL, and Major League Baseball.
A few people texted in it said,
Christ Almighty, can't we sneak golf in there somewhere?
Oh, yeah, golf.
It's not even a real sport, really.
That's why it didn't get included into the conversation.
It's not a real sport.
The Minnesota Lynx won yesterday by eight points over the Indiana Feveres.
They're like a star-studded club, aren't they?
The Feevers, they got, what's her name?
Caitlin Clark.
Right.
And that other gal.
Sophie Cunningham.
That other gal.
Kelsey Mitchell, I mean, if you watch.
Semino. She's their best player.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, she was tremendous
yesterday. Sophie Cunningham's.
I see her all over the place these days. Olivia Miles.
Again, the best player, the real best player in the
W.M. She's so good. So good.
Scored a team high, 28 points.
11 of 14 shooting for Pete's sake.
That's terrific. What is that? 75%.
Six assists, four rebounds and a block.
Courtney Williams scored 27. Nefisa Collier,
18 points of the links are still kicking everybody.
everybody's ass.
Even, what's your name?
I mean, they're 25 and 6.
They're just running away with everything.
Keep going.
Yeah.
Keep going.
People are saying this could be, I mean, that could be a finals preview, perhaps.
Oh, yeah?
Indiana.
Well, Caitlin Clark was out for, what, six, seven, eight games.
And I think Indiana struggled a little bit, but they've still got a pretty good record.
So there's a chance that those two could meet up again in the playoffs or in the finals.
That'd be cool with that
Oh hey we got a little update for you
On our half-ass morning show Summer Bash
Now that was supposed to take place
What a month ago?
Yeah July 16th somewhere in that neck of the woods
Okay middle of July yeah
We couldn't go through with our half-ass morning show
Summer Bash because of the damned
Dangerous Wildfire Smoke
That was choking us all out a couple of weeks ago
They called it
It's a weird deal
At the last minute
we're still going through with it.
September 5th, that Mystic Lake amphitheater.
I think we had made that clear at one point or another on this program.
But there's been an alteration.
What's the word I'm looking for, Josh?
That's the right one.
There's been an alteration.
The card is always subject to change.
It is.
Now, the change here is that Bush will no longer be appearing at our half-past morning show Summer Bash.
But we're replacing one band with two new bands.
You're still going to get the Creed show and all that those boys offer.
But Bush has been replaced by Candlebox and POD.
Same venue, Mystic Lake Amphitheater, new date, September 5th, two new bands.
And if you want any more details, you can swing over to 93X.com.
Tim Montana is still going to be performing there too.
Oh, yeah, Bush is the only difference.
I'm sorry.
I forgot about Tim's Montana.
So there you go.
Heads up, folks.
A couple of new acts getting thrown into the mix.
I remember when Candlebox came at us with that far behind song.
Yeah, we still play that one.
That was a huge hit.
Yeah, definitely.
Oh, God.
Huge hit.
All right, so we mentioned that Bader's in trouble with his baseball team Harrison Bader.
Now, and I know, again, with the Tony Romo, he has been replaced, at least temporarily.
CBS Sports announced that Tony Romo with his cute little DWI,
they're going to sit him down and have a little talking to.
So at least it appears to me that for the start of the NFL season,
Jim Nance, who normally sits side-by-side with Romo, calling ball games,
they're going to throw, what's his nuts,
J-J. Watt into Tony's chair at least for a little while.
CBS gave no timetable for Romo's return.
This is turning into much more of a disaster than we all anticipated.
Well, yeah.
At first they said, hey, we support him.
And that's obviously not the case anymore.
At least they're having him take a back seat for a while.
A back seat.
He's got, yeah, which he probably should have been in with an Uber driver in the front seat.
You're always coming at us with the cute jokes, Cubby.
The back seat.
Didn't mean that.
I saw a meme or whatever they call it in the business where there's a picture and then some funny words,
where Jim Nance and Tony Romo are sitting side by side
readying themselves for a live NFL broadcast
and Jim Nance says to Tony Romo
what are the keys to the game Tony
and Tony says I'm sorry I'm not allowed to
I'm not allowed to have the keys
it's not something
There was some funny stuff online for sure
So here's a quote from a CBS executive
on the Romo situation he says
Someone got a quote from a CBS executive
you guys
and that individual said,
I don't want to act like it's not a big deal because it is,
but it's not going to get him fired.
Supposedly they have an out.
He's got a morality clause in his contract,
which is not that uncommon.
We got one here.
I remember being confused with morality clause.
You got the wrong place.
The dreaded morality clause.
You mean there's morality?
I was just excited.
I thought it was a compliment.
When was morality involved?
You thought they were putting it into your life, not taking it out.
Boy, I'm glad they didn't look into that clause about 20 flipping years ago.
I'm glad that they did.
So anyway, that's the latest with your buddy.
I think everything really changed when they found out that he had an open bottle of hooch in his car.
I think that kind of scared people.
I think the body cam footage didn't help either.
Well, what did he do?
Yeah, I was about to say, I just think the way he acted afterwards probably didn't contribute to it very well either.
I thought he was fairly tame.
Yeah, I agree.
Maybe I didn't see all of it.
I didn't think he was really bad.
Oh, I just think of how big it went.
I mean, I just kind of thought that it would just be Tony Romo got a DUI.
In two weeks, we'd forget about it, but then the body cam footage comes out.
I thought he also said he was on his way to his grandparents' house or something.
I don't know.
And his grandparents are dead.
Are they for sure?
I saw that going around.
I guess I don't know if that was.
Positive.
I didn't confirm that.
I heard that rumor, too, but I didn't want to act on it because I don't know for sure.
Well, I mean, again, he could have been a spinning, raging maniac.
I mean, what, so what did he do in the body cam footage?
I just think of the fact that it kept resurfacing the news cycle.
Well, that's going to happen, right, no matter who you are, or I should say, whatever celebrity.
Yeah, I agree with Nick.
I didn't think it was bad.
He carried himself like a normal human being, in my opinion, in the body camp footage.
whatever.
Whatever.
It's one of those situations where I don't think CBS is all that offended that he got to DUI.
It's just they're looking at it is they can probably save some money now if they decided to gas him over this.
Because he is getting paid like $180 million.
I thought they loved him.
I thought everybody loved him.
No, the last couple of years have been lots of reports of him not doing the research,
not showing up to meetings the day before to go over the game plan and things like that.
So there have been reports that he hasn't really been pulling his weight behind the scene.
So he could work here.
Missing meetings.
Not doing any work.
He's perfect.
Hire him.
Yeah, is he available?
He will be soon.
Will he sign a morality clause because he shouldn't?
Josh and I have great experience with people who kind of just stand around and wait to get paid.
Where's my money?
Yeah.
Well, you guys just love that National Football League now.
You sheeple, you'll buy anything that they sell.
So here you go.
The Hard Knocks television program premieres tomorrow night.
They're still doing that, huh?
You down or what?
You know, I used to love it.
And just the last couple of years, since the Jets when they did with Aaron Rogers,
I watched the first couple and then after that, I'm not blaming it on Aaron Rogers,
but it just kind of never did after that.
But who is it this year?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Seahawks.
Oh.
I might watch that.
They had a decent playoff run if my members.
memory serves me correct.
Yeah.
The show's become way too performative.
They all know, the players know they have the opportunity to get their personalities out there,
get their brands.
Right.
And they're trying too hard to ham it up to the cameras and not very authentic as it used to be.
All right.
Hard Docs.
This is a gift from the football gods.
Yes.
Okay.
I'm one of the most awkward guys in the history of America.
I used to worry all the time about, what were they going to think of me and no, I don't want
to say the wrong thing.
Screw it.
Okay, it doesn't matter.
All I'm worried about is creating best football team we can possibly create.
And I want to make sure that we're us all the time.
That's all I care about.
It's a gift because it reminds us to be us every time that you kind of stray away.
I want the world to see you guys.
What makes me guys do you.
Who's there?
Romo?
No, Mike McDonald, the coach of the Seahawks.
So he likes this setup.
Yeah.
Well, he's saying he likes the setup.
Well, because the cameras are on.
Yeah.
I mean, he doesn't have a choice, so he's trying to use it.
Yeah.
you know, for their best advantage.
Well, not that I care, but you tell me what,
you guys are football fans, NFL fans.
What would draw you to the program?
You said, like Josh, you said you used to watch it.
What would, what characters would draw you to?
Vikings.
Oh, come on.
Yeah, you're right.
Vikings Packers, I'd watch that.
I mean, if you had a personal connection to the team,
that's probably, I mean, if that was your favorite team,
It's probably one of the reasons why you'd watch it.
But I agree that it's kind of lost.
It's luster.
It's just kind of the same.
It's just piss on it.
Yeah.
Same thing?
Yeah.
I mean, there's nothing really wrong with it.
Ooh, now this is really interesting to me.
A listener sent this in, and he claims, tonight on True TV.
Do you have that channel, Cubby?
I believe I do, yes.
Tonight on True TV at 6 o'clock, they're running some old NFL films.
Films.
From the 80s and 90s.
Steve Sable type of stuff, they say.
I love that stuff growing up.
Those VHS tapes you get from Sports Illustrated every year.
Those were amazing.
I had a pile of those laying around.
Footage of Ted Hendricks choking guys out.
Lyle Al Zado stepping on a guy's balls.
I loved that.
Yeah, it's cool.
John Fascenda.
So anyway, I haven't looked into this.
It's just a text that was sent my way where they say tonight for,
I have no idea why.
6 o'clock on True TV.
They're going to show some of those old NFL films-type programs
with Steve Sable and hopefully some narration by John Fessenda.
And don't skimp out on the great moment in time
where the Looney Tunes characters contributed.
That's right.
I had that VHS tape in my possession from Day 1
and me and my buddy Joe Studley just wore that some bitch out
because it was so funny.
Hey, Dallas Cowboys,
quarterback, Dak Prescott, has a nickname all set to go for this year, upcoming football season.
He's got an acronym he came up with for the Cowboys offense. He calls them Goddy, which is short
for greatest offense there is.
It sounds like a little kid came up with that, doesn't it?
That can't be real.
Look out for Godi, he says.
That's so stupid.
It's exhausting.
You know.
Hey guys, I got like a new thing for our office.
You guys know how we're pretty good and stuff.
So it's like an acronym.
Goddy.
You have to ask me what it stands for.
Oh, what does it stand for?
Greatest offense there is.
Let's go on.
Come on, guys.
Let's get out there.
I bet the enthusiasm was in as high as he maybe anticipated it would be.
I'm picturing no line,
and just doing the over-the-the-jerk-off motion.
Like, are you kidding me?
History suggests that cute little gimmicks like this can backfire.
It says here in the year 2000 and then 11,
the Philadelphia Eagles, before the season started,
labeled themselves as the dream team
and finished 8-8 and missed the playoffs.
Reminds me of the Wizzinator guy, Ontario Smith.
He gave himself the nickname Sod,
because he fell down in the draft a little bit,
He said he was the steel of the draft.
Steal of the draft, that's right.
He was a pot smoker.
So cheesy.
Ontario Spliff.
I'm sod.
I just looked him up.
Why would I have looked him up recently, but I did.
We must have been talking about him recently.
I looked up.
He didn't stick around long, Ontario.
I mean, he can get off to a bad start in his career until that happened,
and I kind of spiraled him down.
What a great.
First name, though.
Ontario.
Named after a Canadian province.
Do you know anyone named Saskatchewan?
Manitoba?
No.
British Columbia? Who am I missing?
Alberta? Nova Scotia.
Newfoundland?
Oh, my buddy's grandma was named Alberta.
Really?
Yeah.
That's a pretty name.
Everyone called her Bertie.
That's a very pretty name.
Alberta.
Yeah.
I guess that's not as outrageous as I thought.
You know somebody named Elvira?
The orchard's voice talking about it.
Yeah, they did.
That was a big hit.
All right.
What else can we cover here?
Oh, earlier we were talking,
I know this isn't something that would grab Randy Shaver or Brad's writer.
But earlier we were talking about come November,
they're finally going to cut loose with the latest Grand Theft Auto video game.
It'll be the sixth in the series?
Yes.
It's been 13.
years since the fifth and people are going to be skipping work to attack this video game.
This is going to be the biggest damn thing you've seen in your lifetime come November.
I couldn't give two pumps, but it's a real thing.
People have already filled out the paperwork to take a few days off around November 19th
because they want to commit themselves to this video game.
Yeah, there's some companies that have agreed just to shut down.
They have.
They're shutting the door.
Take a couple days off because they know.
True story, Randy Shabber.
That's true.
No.
We read specifically about a motorsports shop in California.
So many of their staff have already filled out the paperwork for time off to play this video game that they're shutting the doors for a few days.
That's crazy.
They're in a damn thing they can do.
Now, Bro Bible has coughed up what they believe are the 20 most iconic sports video games of all time.
Which sports video games stand above the rest?
as the premier console games of all time.
Now, they did lay out some ground rules
to keep this from being 100 games deep.
These are all console games,
meaning any game that was strictly released
as an arcade game does not count.
On top of that,
to avoid being redundant,
they did not list more than one game
from any single franchise.
So that they say here,
I hope I'm speaking the correct language because I don't know what I'm talking.
They said that immediately eliminates several editions of Madden and FIFA.
They also rule, I'm just, let me get this out of my system.
Even though I don't know what I'm talking about,
I want to make sure the gamers are fully aware of what they're dealing with,
the people who do know this subject up and down.
They ruled out games such as Forza and Need for Speed,
which are racing games but not sports games.
Those are fun.
Any racing game needed to be affiliated with an official racing series.
If you follow all that, then I'll continue on.
Okay.
Here are the greatest, most iconic sports video games of all time in chronological order.
They start with Mike Tyson's punchout.
That'd probably be my favorite.
The one I committed the most time to.
Sadly, I've told you before that when I finally defeated Mike Tyson,
and I guess it worked because when I finally defeated Mike Tyson,
I remember sitting in my folks basement and I stared at the wall
and I told myself, remember this.
You ever had one of those situations, Josh,
where you make a point of trying to get time to stand still
because you want to remember a certain moment?
Yeah, just look around, take it all.
And here we are 40 years later and I do remember the feeling.
I do remember the moment.
So I guess it worked.
Okay.
Techn Mo Bowl.
Definitely.
Oh, yeah, Tecmo Bowl was fun.
Bo Jackson was the man.
Super Spike Volleyball.
That was a fun one, actually.
Never saw it.
NBA Jam.
Yeah, definitely.
That's got to be on the list.
Man, the amount of tokens that thing would take in.
You know, and I could have maybe been a somebody.
I could have maybe been a contender.
with NBA jam when it first hit the arcades.
But I was too loyal.
Oh, he plays the wolves?
I would be Christian Leitner and Pooh Richardson.
So I can't remember the combo.
Oh, maybe it was Christian Leitner and J.R. Wright.
That's what I was thinking. I think it was a writer.
I always would commit myself to being the Timberwolves and I would get beat.
Had I been a douchebag and always went with the pistons or the bulls, maybe I could, right?
I'm glad you brought the pistons and the bulls because one of my feet.
favorite fun facts about NBA Jam is one of the creators.
The game was made in Chicago, so it was a bunch of Chicago guys that made at Midway
games. One of the guys was a hardcore Bulls fan, and he hated the Pistons so much.
So he added code into the game that if the Pistons were playing the Bulls, they could never
make a shot in the last two minutes.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah.
I remember, was that in a documentary?
Yeah.
That sounds familiar.
He was that petty and that loyal to the Bulls that he programmed the game so the Pistons would
suck against the Bulls.
Randy Schaber, Brad Rider.
So far, did you have any experience with Mike Tyson's punch-out,
Tecmo Bowl, NBA, Jam, or Super Spike Volleyball?
The first three, not the volleyball one.
Okay, so you played a little of those.
A little techno bowl for sure, yeah.
Sure.
All right, here we go.
Wave Race 64.
That was fun.
That was a very fun game.
I was just going to say not all of these will elicit a response,
but my God, you know Wave Race 94?
Yeah.
You're racing jet skis.
Ooh.
You do barrel rolls and backflips on them.
It was fun.
Now, I'm not playing games here. I'm being serious. I probably could have been...
There was a time when I was probably the second best jet skier in Hennepin County.
But I didn't commit myself. I decided to choose this.
Who's number one? Dane. You know my pal, Dane?
We were the top two jet ski riders in Hennepin County in the early 90s.
But I blew it.
Okay, NFL Blitz 97. Oh, yeah. If that rings a bell.
Tony Hawks Pro Skater Part D.
Those are so fun.
Oh, yeah.
I absolutely loved those.
A snowboard cross game.
What the hell is snowboard cross?
Anyway, called SSX.
Yes, I absolutely loved those games.
There was one that was new, not too long.
I wish I could think about it or think of what it was.
It was for the Xbox 360, but they always have the best soundtracks.
Yeah?
The absolute best.
I could just listen to them all day.
Blink 182 and no doubt and all my favorite ska and punk bands?
Yeah, totally.
Right.
Mario Tennis.
Oh, yeah, that series is a lot of fun.
Very addictive.
NBA Street, Volume 2.
That was cool.
Madden NFL 2004.
That was with Mike Vic on the cover.
He's second best to Bo Jackson's the best football video game athlete ever.
They mentioned that there was something really special about Madden 2004,
something about the player controls were better.
and the owner mode made everything better, this, that.
NASCAR Thunder 2004.
Now, I played NASCAR video games.
I really liked the NASCAR video games.
Yeah, me too.
What else we got here?
Tiger Woods PGA Tour.
Everything's 2004.
What a year for video games.
Tiger Woods PGA Tour.
Yeah, I remember that one.
Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
When you played the game as Tiger, did he seem high?
Was he good?
They're like, the cameras were wobbling.
challenge? Did you have to control his character as he drove away from the golf course?
NHL 2004, my God. NFL 2K5, MVP baseball 2005, Wii Sports. Oh, of course. The Wii machine.
Love that. Yep.
NCAA March Madness 2008. NCAA football 2014. Randy, you like the NCAA football at one point of another. Yeah. Love that game.
But do you remember, was that the correct year?
Was that when you were?
That was the last one that they made before it came back last year.
Yep.
And then finally, FIFA, followed by the number 14.
I used to really like that track and field video game.
Oh, at the arcade?
Yeah, that's a lot of fun.
That's very fun.
Yeah, there it is.
That's exactly just as fast as you can.
Jump.
That little peckerhead with the mustache was just going the speed of sound.
Yeah.
when I got done drumming on that pig.
Those are the best of all time, according to Bro Bible.
Yeah, the one that I was, yeah, most dialed into was obviously punch out.
Man, that was fun.
It really was.
You're not kidding, just the level of stress,
and then when you beat a guy, you didn't think you could beat?
I had a hell of a time.
I had a hell of a time with Soda Poppinski.
I had a hell of a time with Bald Bull.
But when I finally put those bitches away,
I knew I could do it.
You know what I'm saying, Randy Shaver?
I know exactly what you're saying.
We've got to get the hell out of here.
You guys have been wonderful.
Randy and Brad will talk to you very soon and have a wonderful day.
You bet. Thanks.
We're going to take a little break ski.
We'll come back with more from the half-fast morning show in a few minutes.
93.
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And it spells relief for you.
Half-assed Morning Show.
93X.
You are the perfect listening audience.
Welcome back to the Half Fast Morning Show.
We've been doing this for 30 years.
Look at them, Cubby.
The listening audience?
They did it.
They are gorgeous.
They did it.
All right.
Where can we go with this now?
We're dialing in here at 834 on the Half Fast Morning Show.
Let me ask you fool something real quick.
Are you intimidated at all?
Yes.
Let me finish my question.
Are you intimidated at all in any way, shape, or form?
By actor Jonah Hill, super bad money balls, this and that, Jonah Hill.
I am not.
No?
And, I mean, no disrespect to Mr. Hill, but there's plenty of other people I would be more intimidated by.
Okay.
Yeah.
You might want to, I mean, you might want to hold off on meeting Jonah Hill in the Octagon.
So, by sight, you think you could take them.
Everyone?
I'm not saying I could take him necessarily. I'm just not really intimidated.
Okay, I suppose those are two different things. Yeah, I don't think I'd get my ass kick.
You don't think you get your ass kick. Despite what he has to say on. You probably have 20 years on him.
I don't know. How old is he? 35, maybe 40. You got some years on him. Dana, you're still relatively young.
Mm-hmm. You got size on him. Dana, what's his name again? Jonah Hill. You think you could take him?
No, I don't think so. Why is that? Because I think he doesn't even work out a lot now and do one of the
Jiu-Jitsu. Yeah. See, I'm not trained for that.
I would think I could easily bop up on that kid.
But maybe I shouldn't schedule, you know, a five-round fight with that peckerhead in the Octagon just yet.
I learned this morning that he's like Cubby. He's skilled in the art of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
And it sounds like he's got kind of an attitude about it.
I think he's playing hurt, meaning he's tired of, you know, he says he's tired of being.
People just call him, oh, aren't you the fat guy from Superbad?
he's so tired of hearing about it. He sounds like he's really hurt. Yeah, he's angry.
So you heard the audio? You heard the audio of this podcast?
Yeah, SmartList is the name of the podcast. I haven't listened a long time because I'm really
into audiobooks. So he sounds more hurt than he does sarcastic?
It's a combination, but it, well, I'll tell you this. So at first I just read the comments.
Yeah. Excuse me, I read the article on it and I read, yeah, his comments. And I'm like,
man, you can tell he's kind of hurt. I get it. And he's tired.
of it. He's sick of it. I can understand. I mean, he's not the first. I mean, I look at your guy
carrot top as an example. When he first got famous, if for a lack of a better term, when he first
hit it big in the comedy world, he was this scrawny little red-haired character. And I think that
all the bullying that he endured caused him to go into the gym. And he told himself, I'm not leaving
here until I'm the size of a house.
I totally agree. I'm sure that's exactly what
his motivation was. So here's the
deal. Yeah. Jonah Hill
sure, let's just go
ahead and mimic
what he himself said.
The chubby kid from
what's the name of the movie again? Super
bad. And he's made others, of course.
He was pretty
entertaining in that Wolf of Wall Street.
He's done a lot of movies. Most
folks think of Superbad. Yeah. He
recently made an appearance on the
Smart Less podcast, where he told the host of the program, Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Sean
Hayes, he said, if we got into it, I would F you up, I would F all three of you up.
And he went on to say, I don't know if you have the audio at the ready.
I do, yeah.
Throw it our way.
My favorite thing is people are like, oh, Jonah Hill, fat guy from Super Bowl.
And I'm like, I would annihilate you.
I'm not kidding.
Every fight.
If you see me, try it, dude.
Unless you are way bigger than me, I have like, find out.
He does sound hurt.
Yeah, he does.
If you read the cross really awkward.
Yeah, it kind of does.
And, you know, I read, I never do this.
Actually, it's funny, I was telling my wife yesterday, I'm like, I never do this.
Just, you know, so just to keep my sanity, I never read comments on stuff.
But I went through, I read the comments and people, one of the articles was like, you've got to see what people are saying on Twitter about it.
He was not getting support.
And my wife asked me, well, how soon do you?
did he get political as things do.
I didn't see anything political.
The closest would be different disciplines of martial arts
where people who were experts in it were checking in
and kind of ripping these different things.
A lot of people ripping jujitsu and people standing up for jujitsu.
Kind of like the trade wars.
Yeah, and then, you know, making fun of them like, hey, you know,
like a lot of comedians, he got skinny and he's no longer funny,
you know, kind of along those lines.
I didn't see much support for the guy.
Well, that's too bad.
It just goes to show you that you can be rich and still care about those kind of things, I guess,
because I would think that if I was, you know, filthy rich for being, you know, a fat kid on a movie, I'd be fine with that.
I would be, I would sleep so good at night.
And that's what people said, Ashley, you bring up a good point.
They're like, you know, this guy's got all the money in the world.
He probably still didn't have trouble getting with girls that most of us could never even get the time of day from.
I can only imagine the blondes he has to fight his way out from under every morning before he goes to shoot a movie.
Right, but he's still upset.
Like you said, I mean, getting, like that's all people bring up.
And people, there was one guy that said he got mad at me because I called him Mcloven, you know, people sharing experiences of supposedly running into him.
Oh, someone called Jonah Hill Mcloven?
Yeah, and he didn't find that.
Oh, those two actors hate each other, too.
Oh, did they really?
Yep.
Yeah, I've heard that because I heard that, like, they didn't.
really have to act the couple times that they would like argue back and forth.
That's too bad.
When they were shooting super bad, they didn't like each other?
No.
Well, that's interesting.
Yeah, he didn't present himself very well in that podcast.
But, you know, I mean, I hate to think that people are just attacking him now over this.
Maybe, Jesus.
At least what I saw, the threat I saw they were.
So now he's having his balls busted in a completely different way.
Before it was, oh, you're just a stupid little chubby kid.
And now it's, you know, who do you think you are?
I'll kick your ass.
Jiu-jitsu sucks, this and that.
So I think he was trying to be funny,
but you could tell that, yeah, I'm hurting here.
Yeah, there's a chip on his shoulder for sure.
That's really interesting.
That's the last character I imagined I would come into work one day
and read a comment like what he put forth.
I never imagined that Jonah Hill would step up and say,
hey, man, I'll beat your ass.
I haven't seen like recent, recent photos of him.
And oh my gosh, yeah, wow, he is like,
he did the thing.
Wow.
What does that mean?
He put it in the work?
Yeah, he worked his butt off.
Does he look very different?
I can't think of the last time I saw him.
Probably Wolf of Wall Street was the last time I saw him.
So anyway, he's...
I saw him in coming, something coming.
Oh, God.
Yeah, and there's a reference to that with Keanu Reeves.
Outcome?
Yeah, outcome, I think maybe it was called.
I miss that one.
Yeah, it's probably not necessarily worth watching.
there's a couple kind of funny parts.
And Canada Reeves, I really enjoy it.
Oh, he's always great.
Well, it sounds like this Jonah Hill, unfortunately, is the latest kind of a typecast,
which I would disagree with.
You know, if people only think of him as the chubby kid from Superbad.
I guess I do.
I don't mean disrespect, but that's what I think of when I think Jonah Hill.
And that's just because I thought he was great.
I understand that.
But did you see Moneyballs?
Did you see Wolf of Wall Street?
I mean, I would have thought, and I know I'm missing probably dozens of other roles he's had,
I thought with just those two movies alone, he busted that stereotype to pieces.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
But if he's still catching that grief, he's not alone.
I mean, there's been a long line of actors and actresses who unfortunately get typecast,
and they just can't seem to get their footing as any other character
than like, say, for example, friggin screech or Urkel.
You could go back to Horshack from Welcome Back Cotter.
Probably more, most people didn't give Ralph Mouth much of a chance.
You know what I'm talking about?
Mr. Ed didn't get too many roles either after the show ended.
Who?
Mr. Ed?
No, he really did.
He was the talking horse?
Yeah.
Who am I missing, Josh?
I mean, I know I'm just scratching the surface, but...
There's some that certainly changed their image.
Who?
Bruce Willis would be a good example.
Bruce Willis.
Bruce Willis, when they announced him from, you know, he's on moonlighting.
He's kind of known as his comedic actor.
They announced him as the lead in Die Hard, and people laughed in the theaters when they saw the trailer.
Yeah, you're right.
So much so that they changed the poster to take his picture out of it.
I suppose.
The tower in there.
But he was never, I mean, I understand where you're going with that,
but he was never like that whooping boy.
nerd character.
Like, has there ever been one of those sitcom or movie nerds who then went on to...
Yeah, I'm just not thinking of a...
Matt Damon count?
Matt Damon count?
I don't know his nerd role.
People didn't buy him as he was going to be a good Jason Bourne and then he became one.
You know, all of a sudden he was kind of an action star.
Well, sure, but I think we're kind of discussing two separate topics.
I mean, it's one thing to be doubted you can play.
a certain role. I'm talking about these just deep, dark, dork characters from TV and movies.
Like I mentioned, Urkel, Horshack, Screech, Ralph Mouth. Has there ever been one who shook that completely?
Jim from the office, I would say, John Krasinski.
Okay, I'm not aware of it.
No, because I think for me and a lot of people that when you see him, you think the office,
like, I just picture the office, even if I see him like in an action movie, I'm like, this is just ridiculous.
Yeah. What are you doing? Where's Pam?
Okay. I still see Jim from the... I keep expecting him to look at the camera.
And everything he's done. I know. I can't change how I look at him. I just can't.
Okay. Here's another... Okay. Someone's saying Adam... People are texting him. Adam Sandler.
I mean, I see where you're going with that. He was a comedic character for so many years.
And he went on to make what? Uncut gems and some other more...
serious roles.
What about Keanu Reeves?
But I'm talking about like they were ridiculed for their dorky character,
like a longstanding television or movie character.
Keanu Reeves.
I mean, he went from Bill and Ted to being John Wick.
Right.
So again, we're kind of discussing separate topics.
Those are all good examples, but not exactly what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about it.
I think I've already made my point, you know,
or made it clear what I'm talking about.
talking about. I can't think of anybody.
There's some good examples coming in that are close enough. Chris Pratt would be another
guy whose image completely changed.
Like I got to look up. Oh, we got to take a break. While we're taking a break, I'm going
to look this up online. I want to find out, I want to look up like the ultimate TV dorks
and see if I can find one. I mean, they were unfortunately kind of typecast. I want to see if I
and find one who busted loose from that stereotype.
These guys like, yeah, I mean, no one probably expected Keanu Reeves to be a super killer in a movie.
Someone said Ed O'Neill, you know, I don't really know what they mean by that.
We were talking about Jonah Hill, the actor, Jonah Hill.
Super bad, this and that.
Boy, he's been around for a while.
I had some great roles, too.
I mentioned Money Balls, Wolf of Wall Street.
It sounds like Jonah Hill.
It sounds to me like he's still feeling a little slighted.
He still feels like people only think of him as the chubby kid from Superbad.
He went on a podcast and talked about how he's tired of hearing that.
As a matter of fact, now he's a lethal weapon, Josh.
He's highly skilled in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and he says he'll tear your head off for you.
Kind of a funny thing happening, I guess, with Jonah Hill here lately.
Sounds like he's kind of mad
Yeah, he does seem like hurt
Yeah, that's good word
And they're kind of getting like
Taking it out on everybody else
So I kind of asked an impossible question
I was wondering
Specifically these
These actors
Who have taken on
A comedic role
Kind of a dorky role
Whether it be just one movie
Or a longstanding television series
They get typecast
And for their entire lives
They're kind of battling
To be taken
seriously. I mentioned guys like
the dude who played Steve Urkel, the dude who played
Ralph Mouth. Who else did I mention?
Of course, Jonah Hill, I kind of lumped him in there. Do you remember the
others that I mentioned, because now I can't recall? I slipped my
mind now. At any rate, did I mention
screech? Yes.
I was kind of wondering, have
any of these characters really
broken free from that
to where they could put that character
away forever? I found a list
online of, I mean, there's plenty of ways to be
typecast. You could
be the big
Vin Diesel type character, right?
And maybe you don't want to be the big
fathead tough guy your entire
movie career, but your type
guy. Specifically on the nerd characters,
here are some examples of
some actors and actresses
that, according to this article,
they just couldn't shake it. Here's a good
example. Now, we did have some other
roles, certainly,
spotty roles here and there.
But Bronson Pinchot
as Belke from Perfect Strangers.
Yeah.
I love that character.
Well, what did he go on to do that was...
I mean, I could just tell you a couple movies
where he just had a spot role.
What's the movie where Christian Slater goes on the killing spree?
Oh, I know you're talking.
I never saw it.
True romance.
Yeah, I mean, Bronson Pinchot's in the movie for an hour or something.
I think he has like an HG TV show or something, Bronte.
I thought he does he.
us from remodeling or something.
They mentioned Jaliel White, who played Erkel.
I mean, I bet you that guy would do anything to cross the street once
and someone doesn't shout Urkel or did I do that or something like that.
This is kind of interesting.
Someone listed Leonard Nimoy as a guy who was typecast so terribly that things didn't work out
the way he maybe imagined them to be.
He was always Spock.
A little different than what we're talking about.
probably he was too good at it. You know, sometimes someone's just so good at something.
He was great at it. Hard to picture them as anything else.
Dustin Diamond is mentioned here. Screech has mentioned, poor guy.
What about the Harry Potter kid?
Well, see, that's a good one.
But he has. Because now he does like weird stuff and like now that I see him and other stuff,
I just look at him and I don't see cute little Harry Potter anymore.
Well, that's probably exactly what he's looking for.
I'm like, oh, what you got going on, dude?
And he's actually very, very funny.
Another that was mentioned, Michael Richards.
who played Kramer on Seinfeld.
They said, the article basically says,
after that ended,
all he wanted to be was anyone but Kramer,
but Hollywood wouldn't allow him to be.
Yeah, I was going to say,
I've never seen him in anything else.
He's unfortunately known for something else now,
but yeah.
He ran into a little trouble.
Oh.
He was just too good in the role.
I mean, sometimes that's how it goes, right?
You created this iconic character,
and of course, that's who you are.
I suppose.
What about, I don't know if this was, there were so many names mentioned.
Jason Seagall?
Seagall?
Segal?
Segal?
I guess he was in Freaks and Geeks, it says.
Yeah.
Wasn't it his show or maybe it was.
It was an ensemble cast.
James Franco's in there too, a bunch of young up-and-comers.
So again, it was a difficult question to answer, but even I can't think of all these dorky
characters.
It seems to me, sadly, a lot of them just, that was where their career began and
ended.
I don't agree that that's the situation for Jonah Hill.
No, he's done a ton of stuff.
He's been in plenty of movies where he's been very good.
But I think, you know, that's just the thing.
A lot of people, including myself, I think, first thing I think is super bad.
Well, of course, that's the first thing you think, but you know that he's capable of much more.
Definitely.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, there are others who will.
Not just being funny.
You know, he's good in a few things.
I kind of get sad when I see that he's in a movie and it's not a funny movie.
I'm like, oh.
Oh, you want him to be funny.
Yeah, because he's really good at being funny.
It's like if I don't have any interest in watching a Seth Rogan movie or TV show where he's not being himself.
Yeah.
Like that's what I like about him.
I had that same feeling with Jim Carrey back in the day when I was a kid because I loved Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber, The Mask, all that.
Then he started doing movies like The Truman Show.
And now I've learned to love the Truman Show.
It's a fantastic movie.
But when you're 10, 11, 12 years old, you're like, no, talk out of your butt cheeks more.
Come on, do the thing.
Yeah.
Now here's an example real quick before we go.
here's an example of some people who escaped their typecast.
These are some very skilled people.
Robin Williams.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
A great example.
He had some fears, and there were some doubters when Mork and Mindy wrapped up their run in the early 80s.
A lot of folks said, well, what else can this guy do?
I mean, he's just the dorky morc character from orc.
but he obviously murdered it from then on out.
I mean, he was, you could ask Robin Williams to do anything.
So talented.
Michael J. Fox.
There were people who thought, well, he's Alex P. Keaton and that's it.
Or he's Marty McFly and that's it.
But he changed folks' opinions.
Will Smith went on to do some serious things when all anyone thought he could do was, you know, what was the song again?
Fresh Earth, don't understand.
No, I was talking about the story.
theme song to his television show.
But sure.
Woody Harrelson would be a great example.
Oh.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, I mean, because Woody from Cheers is so great.
And then he goes on to make all kinds of messed up movies to different comedies.
He was that dumb guy role that sure.
Lesser talented people, probably.
That's where it would have stopped right there, but not Woody Harrelson.
Brian Cranston.
Oh, Brian Cranston.
Brian Cranston.
Neil Patrick Harris as Dugie Houser.
Yeah.
Yeah. Tom Hanks.
His image changed quite a bit.
That dude is funny, Neil Patrick.
I love him.
So there you go.
And just be warned.
Jonah Hill says if you stepped up to him and you give him any of that fat kid from super bad nonsense,
he will peel your jaw right off the rest of your skull.
It's just a douchy thing to say, like, no matter how big you are or anything.
Like, don't say that.
It just makes you look like a bitch.
You got to understand where he's coming from.
He's been taking that crap now for 20 years.
He's been waiting to say this.
Like in public where a lot of people are listening.
If you see him on the street,
don't go up to him and ask him to autograph your super bad Blu-ray DVD.
No, no.
Probably a bad idea.
That's too bad because, you know,
there's plenty of folks that love the movie
and they're not trying to offend him,
but he's just tired of it.
I wish I could find the Jesus name here,
but the texts are coming in too quick.
Someone said that they are an instructor of some sort of jiu-jitsu,
and they mention to their students quite often.
What you don't want to do is exactly what Jonah Hill
did, you know, just walk up
up to people, or just put it out there that, hey,
I could kick your ass if I really want. That's not very
jujitsu of him. No, it's not very
smart of him, just in general. You should be
more humble. Yeah. With your skills.
I understand. Sure.
Happy birthday to Nick from
Mom and to
Super Hotty Angie from
P-Man. Hey, it's Dana.
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