93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Ultimate Testicular Destruction

Episode Date: June 12, 2026

Originally Aired June 12, 2026: Cheater cheater, not a cake eater. Friendly fire. Everything you wanna know about turning hot dogs into hot logs. Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, it's Dana. Smart Club member with Standard Heating and Air Conditioning. When your AC isn't working, everything just feels off. That's why I trust Standard Heating. They're fast, reliable, and make it easy. So it's just one less thing to worry about. And if you've never tried them before, now's the time. Get $75 off your first service or tune-up.

And hey, mention 93X. Standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93X-Hapast morning show. 90. 93. Well, damn. We've hit our limit for the week. Five days, Cubby.

Five days is all we're allowed. So this year is where we say goodbye. Until next time. Welcome to the half-ass morning show. Hope you're doing all right. I'm having a hard time getting into character this morning, Josh. I feel high. Yeah, I was telling you off-air yesterday.

That's how I felt yesterday. Like tunnel vision, like, I was floating in a cloud. It was weird. Am I not remembering something, Josh? Did I show up a little earlier this morning and you smoked me up? Nope. Nothing like that.

Ashley didn't hot boxy in the car. Nothing happened. I'm not sure what it is. I feel even more relaxed and careless than I normally do on Fridays. You could take today's program in damn near any direction, and I wouldn't care. I've got the weirdest vibe. I'm so relaxed that I feel like you smoke me up. and not just some regular ditch weed.

Like, say you might buy from a high school kid. You know what it feels like, Cubby? It feels like I smoke some of that boogie-woogie. The good stuff? Yeah. I thought I was going to go to jail for a ditch weed many years ago. I lived in Chocopi, and all of a sudden, when the leaves fell in the fall, oh my gosh, by the way, the fall leaves beautiful.

You and I, we're going to go. I can't wait. fall. I noticed, I think that's a giant marijuana plant, like back in some, like a wooded area by my house. I thought they're going to, it's right by my house. The cops are going to think I'm growing weed over here. So, uh, you're a way too paranoid, man. It's the weed, Dana. It was being in proximity to the weed. It made me paranoid. This is when you were a kid. Uh, no, this, I, this was 99, 2000-ish, right? So 20s. You were a grown man. Yeah. And my brother and I, we bought a townhouse in chalk,

and I look out the window. You know, my brother's a cop at the time, but for whatever reason I didn't even think to ask him. And so I called the cops. And I'm like, hey, I don't know what's going on there. This had nothing to do with me. I'm not a drug kingpin. I can't handle jail.

Don't lock me up. Don't throw away the keys. You called the police because of a random, something or another, growing in your neighborhood. It was a huge marijuana plant. It was. Yeah, it looked like every T-shirt I'd ever seen. So why did you feel the need to call the police?

Because I thought they were going to think I had a grow operation. It was on your property? Just adjacent to it. Like there was some, nobody owned this. It's like city property, but it was right by my house. The paranoia, how do you say the word? Paranoia. The paranoia was too much for you.

Because I lived on a dead end, right? And it was just kind of at the end. It looked like it was in my yard, but it wasn't. It was just a little past it. You thought it was only a matter of time before you were but, And arrested by the police for your marijuana growing operation. I thought they were thinking, Ah, Wiz Khalifa lives in that crappy little townhouse over there.

What ended up, I'd love to hear, how did you explain this to the police? What did you say? I just called him and said what I told you guys. I said, listen, I've lived here for about a year. I'd never noticed it before. I looked out, there's like these, like one or two, I can't remember, huge pot leaves or plants. And I asked them, I got nothing to do with this thing.

Can you, you know, and they're like, That is so friggin' funny. I know. It's stupid. And then they came out and they're like, hey, I want to show you something. So they're like, this is weed, but it's ditch weed. I wish I'd never heard about. And the guy's like, you're free to smoke it, but it's not going to do anything,

just give you a headache. So I'd never heard a ditch weed before. I didn't know. I guess they used to grow it over there, like to make hemp or something like that. So he said there's a ton of it over in this area. You know, I used to want to be your neighbor. but now I know you're the type that's going to be calling the cops for the silliest things and we're all going to suffer for it.

Are you going to call the cops when I try to sell a boat in my front yard because a boat's not allowed to sit on my property? Oh, it's going to be on the grass? Yes, it will be on the grass. Do you have a permit to sell? I do not. Man, 911 calls are public records so you can access them. I really wish we could get that audio of Josh calling 911 about a ditch weed plant across the street from them. Do you think they hold onto it that long?

I don't think they do, but maybe. Wouldn't that be something? How many years ago was it? It was like 99 or 2000. Oh, 99,000 or 2000? It's a 99,000. You're going to be that neighbor that calls the cops when a dude selling a boat on his front yard. Well, I called the cops on myself, technically.

Yeah, if it was on somebody else's property, none of my business. But yeah, I just didn't want them to think, like, some ruffians in the neighborhood, some druggies running around and trying to frame me for selling marijuana? What the hell is wrong with you? Josh and I used to hang around with a guy. What's going on? Dana smoking weed over there. Took a big hit of Josh's ditch weed from 26 years ago. Oh, you're going to get a headache.

Josh and I used to hang out with a guy who smoked the boogie-woogie. I mean, this stuff was so strong. Even rock stars couldn't handle it. I feel like I smoked some of that boogie-woogie. I feel so carefree. I don't like that feeling. Yeah, that's, I was right there. I hope I didn't give you something.

You were feeling, you were feeling weird earlier this week? I mean, is it possible there's a natural gas leak in the neighborhood or something? Well, I was just going to ask, when's the last time anybody checked the smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors around you? We don't have those. We don't. Yeah, well, honestly, I mean, they're there, but they're not plugged in or working. Oh, they aren't? I probably not.

Josh, Josh, call the police. Hello, 911. I have some unsubstantiated information for you. I felt foggy yesterday and Nick does today. I mean... Real quick, I'm sorry. I meant to mention this. Thank you for the text.

I used to be a hemp farm in Chakopi and Savage for rope production during World War II. That's what the cops told me, that they made rope for World War II. So I felt a little patriotic. I gnarced on America that day, I guess. but that was a cool fact to me. I hadn't heard that before. Yeah, what did he got against rope? Nothing, I didn't know.

I didn't know you're so anti-rope. I found out. Easy throws them. Dude, wait a minute. You're not kidding. Start this over. Start that part over. What about the days of making rope out of hemp?

And this textor reminds me that's exactly what the cops told me is that in Shacopi, that's why they said they have so much of it around there. I don't know if they still do, but when I live there, they have so much. because they used to use it to grow rope for World War II. So your property that you shared with your brother was on the same grounds as where they used to grow. So they could lasso Nazis or whatever they were doing with the rope. There was a little leftover from all those years ago, and it was still growing in the wilds of Shokabee.

That's fascinating. And I will say the cops did tell me, don't be too embarrassed. We do get calls about this sometimes from folks, you know, cidates like myself, move out to the supper. I said that to make it feel better. Oh, darn it. All these years, I pacified myself with that. But, you know, the usual triggers that pissed me off around here,

ska music, Adam Sandler, this and that, you can do all of that today, and I don't care. That's great news because... I'm just in this weird carefree zone, and I can't explain the source of it. That's good news. for what reason? Because today, you know, we have our notable new release post each week on 93X.com with the most recent releases in music. And is he releasing another, Adam Sandler, is he releasing another record full of hilarious Thanksgiving songs?

Nope, nothing like that, but there is a ska adjacent release. Oh, ska. I'll try anything four times, Jesus says, of the marijuana that I narked myself out on. That was my weed, you dick. I was 9.000. I was 9. at the time, so you basically stole from a child. Does that make you guys think it was kind of cool now? Josh, she was drugs from kids. It's messed up. So you no longer feel this weirdness. You've given it to me.

You don't feel this weirdness anymore? I do, but it's much lighter than yesterday. Although yesterday it got worse as the day go on. So both of us have that to look forward to. Yeah, this old pal of ours, the guy who used to smoke and sell the boogie-woogie. he and I were together years ago at one of our X-Fest, Edge Fest type concerts, whatever we called them back in the day. And here comes the Seven Dust Tour Bus.

And Josh can tell you this. Every damn one of us here at the radio station back in those days, we got to know the cats that made up the rock band Seven Dust. to know them pretty well. I loved those guys. They were here in town all the time. It was like a house band for 93X for some reason. We were always doing something with Seven Dust.

And they were such a friendly group of guys. One of them turned out to be an Eskimo brother of mine. I haven't seen them in years, but they were just a great group of guys. And I loved it when they had a lot of success with that single black. Was that what it was called? Yep. Whippa, peep, beep, beep, pop, beep, bo, beep, baby,

Enemy is one of my favorite songs. That's the intro to Black. Enemy, you like that. Do you guys know the song, Enemy? No. I bet it you did if you heard it. I had a girlfriend almost break up with me because I played it over and over.

I put it on repeat in my car. It's like a two-minute song. It's real quick, and I love it so much that I kept playing it. That's one of the only times she ever really flipped out on me, over Seven Dust. But they're worth it. I just watched, like it was a couple months ago,

I watched a ton of like YouTube documentaries on the band. You know, maybe I shouldn't call them a documentary, but you know like where a YouTuber will do their own history of the band or why this happened or what they're up to now. I went through, I don't know, probably like seven of them watching those. I missed those guys. They were so much fun. They were a lot of fun.

So me and this guy are wandering around the backstage area at X Fest. Here comes the Seven Dust Tour Bus. And this is where we got the name for my buddy's style. a weed. Dude says to me, he says, oh, that's the Seven Dust tour bus. Let's go, let's go holler at him. And I said, you know, it was like one o'clock in the afternoon and Seven Dust was scheduled to go on at eight.

And I said, I don't feel like bothering him at one o'clock in the afternoon. I said, my guess is they're just pulling in from wherever they played last night. They probably could use some sleep. I don't really want to bother Seven Dust at one o'clock. and he was insisting. Let's go over there. No, no, no, there's such good guys. Let's go over there. Jesus Christ. Okay. So, sure as hell, I was right. We go over there, me and Cubby's bro, knocking on their damn bus door. And for three, four minutes, nobody answers. And I said, let's get the hell out of here. You know there was sleep in there. He keeps knocking. And sure as hell,

Lejean Witherspoon, the lead singer, answers, he opens the door. And you can tell he's been asleep for a few hours. He was sound asleep, but he was nice enough to answer. He recognized the both of us. He's like, oh, yeah, man, what's going on? We're going to have fun tonight. And my pal pulls out his little joint stick, and he's like, Lejean, hit this right here. And Lejean's like, dude, no, we had a long night last night in Milwaukee. I don't feel, no, I'm not yet, man. I don't feel, I just woke up. No, no, hit this right here. Come on, please, please hit this, smoke this. You know how weed smokers can get, right? Yep. It's like the shot people. Right, right. Just he's relentless about it and I was kind of embarrassed. I'm like

just leave the guy alone. Lejean being the nice guy that he is, grabs the joint stick out of our bro's hand, lights it up and takes a big hit. And Lejean does this. He goes, oh man. Asked a boogie. And he'd know. Yes. Those guys

had a reputation. Oh, God. Lejean was just so cool. Well, the whole band was so cool. I love their look. I ended up being Eskimo brothers with the bass player. I think his name was Vince. Really? Cool.

Yeah. I bet Vince could do pretty good. We got the eighth grader over here. Cool. Yeah. Vince, what about Vince? I bet he got some stuff. He was a nice guy, too.

The whole band. It's good when Eskimo Brothers can get along. He was a nice guy. John, Vince, Clint, Morgan. All those guys would, they were basically lived here for a while. Yeah, they did. Morgan was the drummer, wasn't he? Yeah.

Yeah. He's one that wrote Enemy, as far as I know. I remember walking with that band from there. Maybe it was the same day that Lejean smoked the boogie-woogie. I don't know. Those ex-best days were long days. It was hard to decipher one from the other, but I remember walking with them from their bus to the stage

as they were readying themselves for showtime. And Morgan, the drummer, sees that I got a fat chew in my face. and he says, what do you got a chew going there? I said, yeah. He says, well, I left mine back in the bus. You mind if I load up before we go live? And I gave him a big fat. Back then I was chewing Codiak,

which killed a lot of kids, I think, over the years, because that stuff, I'm exaggerating, of course. But Codiac would hit you hard if you didn't know what you were doing. And obviously, Morgan did. He was an experienced cheuer. But I'd never, of course, I gave him a big fat lip a codiac. I thought that was so unique for a rock star to take the stage with a codiac in their gap. Yeah, it does sound unique. I mean, do you ever see a picture of

Ozzy Osbourne up on stage, having to spit in a bucket or something? It was just a, a rock star that chews, I thought that was very unique. It's been a while since I saw these fellers now from Seven Dust. Somebody, somebody texted in and said it would make sense that Vince and I would be Eskimo brothers because we look alike. I remember mixing with the guy years ago. I didn't think we'd look to like, but now I got to take a look. I don't think we look alike at all. Yeah, I don't think so.

Yeah, there you go. Maybe the bald guy with the goatee, what's his name again? Clint? Yeah. Maybe Clint and I look a little bit alike. But anyway, oh, man, that brings back some fun stories. Speaking of old fun stories, I loved your marijuana story, Josh. I don't remember ever hearing that one before.

Back to your days in Shacopi when marijuana was growing wild on your property. I don't know if you've ever talked much about what it was like to live with your brother. Oh, you know, it was great. I mean, I grew up with such a big family. My brother and we always got along. Okay, you had no problems. No, and our schedules were so different that quite honestly we never saw each other. Okay.

I think that's kind of rare. I think most folks who live with their siblings, it turns into a bloodbath. Yeah, I agree. I got lucky that way. My brother and I have always been close. Although our relationship changed a little bit when he got bigger and stronger than me. He did what? My brother was always so tiny, you know, and then he kind of put on some muscle and learning a flight and stuff like that.

and things change. It's humbling when your little brother and you realize he could beat the crap out of you. Very humbling. Yeah. Off air before we went live, you also started talking about, I mean, a truly incredible story about your past.

That I, we've been around together a long time. Sometimes I think I've never heard these stories. Sometimes I think maybe I had, and just enough time has gone by where I forgot. Josh was telling us off air that he and his buddies once took their BMX bicycles, not mountain bikes, not electric bikes.

There was no such thing when this happened. They jumped on their BMX bicycles and rode from Minneapolis to Ely. Yeah, it was, I've told you this story, but maybe because you were foggy, you don't remember. I must have forgotten, and I'm feeling high, I'm feeling weird today. Terrible.

We were so, we used to bike constantly, and it wasn't abnormal, for us to put on, you know, 100 miles, 50 miles, we would just bike constantly. And so we got cocky. A friend of mine, his parents had had a cabin forever in Ely, and we'd go up there some, if not most summers. And he had the idea, well, let's bike. I mean, we bike all the time.

We could do it. And, of course, we were into it. I asked my parents, and they're like, hell no, you're not allowed. Even though I was 18, you know, I still lived at home. My parents were like, no, that's stupid. You can't do it. You're never, you know, it's like 250 miles. But we still thought we could do it.

We traveled with next to nothing, right, on our BMX bikes, because we couldn't really carry too much. We slept on the side of the road a couple nights where to the point where there was two times people pulled over thinking we were dead, maybe like hit by a car. Same. And now a little more than halfway up or maybe about halfway, you know, there wasn't GPS and stuff. So maybe about halfway up, we realized this sucks. We're going to die.

This is awful. Why did we think of this? Our taints. our legs were rubber. I mean, it was absolutely awful. Even at 18 or 19 years old, your bodies were cooked. Oh, yeah. We were in the shape of our lives.

Like I said, we biked all the time. So, like, biking, you know, anywhere around the Twin City, it doesn't matter. You know, we go from Minneapolis to, like, Elk River. It was just not a big deal at the time. So we tried to call my friend's mom. You know, it's pay phones, right? And we couldn't get a hold of her. I couldn't call my parents because they had told me no over and over and over again.

at church. Probably. And you know, they would have been so pissed. So we're trying to get a hold of my buddy's mom. The only one that we knew wouldn't narc on us, like I would if you're jaywalking. And we couldn't get a hold of her. So we just kept going. We tried her a handful of times. Oh, so halfway up. And again, there's no caller ID. I mean, things were so different. Halfway there, you tried to give up, but you couldn't get a hold of an event. Oh, a couple times. Anyone to rest. After the first night. Couldn't find anyone to rescue you. So you went the whole distance. We did the whole, yeah. Miserable, miserable every inch of the way.

Yes. And so we got up there and I think maybe within, we closed the door behind us and we're calling my friend's mom. Immediately this sucks. We're dead. I hate everything. So never in the planning of this trip, did you consider the fact that, hey,

BMX bicycles are fun to ride, but not the most comfortable for distance, not even by a long shot. No, that never entered your mind. Oh, yeah, we did think, you know, it's probably going to be tough, but like I said, we were just overly cocky. And so what did you just take 35 and then went up? Pretty much. Is it 33 or 53?

Oh, God, that sounds so exhausting. You can take 33 and cut through Cloquet and then jump on 53 to go straight up. And then 169, I would imagine I can't remember. It's been a long. Yeah, it sounds right. We wrote on the shoulder of these interstates? Pretty much. Or just kind of off frontage roads and stuff like that as much as we could.

But, yeah, shoulder on some of the highways and stuff. What in the? How were you frigging kids up to? You know, I was 18. Like, we were stupid. We used to do all that kind of stuff. I'll say it again. This is the stuff that teenage kids do when they don't drink.

Where were the girls? There was no girls. My buddies, they did drink, and they smoked weed and stuff like. I just never got into it. Because I was afraid of my dad. You know, I knew if I got caught, my dad was very intimidating to me. And I thought, I'm not going to piss that guy off. I would much rather take any crap from any friend.

It doesn't matter. I just don't want my dad. dad getting on my case. What a nightmare. According to Google Maps, it takes 21 hours, or 21 hours and two minutes to bike from Minneapolis to Ely. Oh, that two minutes is killer. Those last two really got you. You must have spent two nights. Yeah, it was two nights. Yeah, it was two nights. On your way up. Yep. That is incredible. It could, maybe it was three, no, it was two nights. It was two nights. It was, yeah, I, well, and the reason the story came up is because. Yeah, what were we talking about? I have to drop my,

vehicle off today. And it's in like the opposite part of Egan. You know, I was telling you guys, I bike to Ely. I don't know what I have my voice there. But I'm nervous to bike from the far part of Egan, the furthest part of Egan from my house

to my house. And you know, I've got a bike that can handle such a thing. It's just, I don't know, a 15-minute bike ride. But I'm thinking, geez, I don't know if I can handle it. You can handle it. You'll be okay. It's been 30-sub years. Just channel your inner Eile. that is I can't

come up with the words that is so bizarre that you you young fellas decided to open. We thought it was an awesome idea. Oh my God. Please tell me he didn't bike back. Did you at least get a ride back? Oh no, no. Yeah, like I was saying the first thing we called, we eventually got a hold of my friend's mom. Okay. You know, she was like

she would do anything for my buddy and us. She was like a second mom to us. She was great. And we're like, please don't tell any of our parents. Please don't say what happened. On a much smaller scale, it reminds me of the story when I was a fifth grader. You know, every year we had the grade school Olympics of some sort. We had some kind of grade school track meet. And I said, I'd like to run the 400 meter meter. I didn't even know what it meant. And they said, ready, set go. And here I am in this. long,

torturous foot race. Didn't even know what I'd signed up for. And it about killed me. I've got a friend now who he runs the equivalent of a marathon every Saturday morning. He gets up like at 4 in the morning and runs. I have one of those friends. Do you really? Yeah, psycho. And he does

a 100 mile race. I think it's once a summer. He does a 50. A foot race? Yeah. Like a marathon. And he does a 50, which I thought was insane. You know, it's funny, like, I forget that how stupid we were, but he's, you know, he's my age, he's in incredible shape. He's very hot, by the way. But he

runs this 50, and now this 100, every year. At least he knows what he's getting himself into. But he's had, like, he's got robo legs now, right? He's had every surgery you can imagine from the waist down, because his legs are destroyed. Me and my friends love to, like, explore

when we were younger, of course, like, you know, every kid, but like, even into, like, middle school, and probably freshman year of high school. And we would get into those situations where we would just wander so far that we'd be like, oh, shoot, we have no idea how to get back home

or where we are. And next thing you know, like five more hours have passed, the sun is starting to set. And then we finally find out like, oh, all right, we got to go that way. But that was fun. It was scary sometimes. Yeah, but this is where we're going to die.

You got GPS phone in your pocket. Yeah. Oh, thank God. On a BMX price. Do you remember what you were riding exactly? A harrow, yeah. Harrow. I had worked for two summers to save up.

We went to Eric's bike shop in Richfield. I think it was Erick's. Or no, Penn Cycle. Penn Cycle in Richfield, and I built it piece by piece. You know, once I could afford, oh, I can afford some pedals. I can afford the frame. I can't imagine just how many rotations of that sprocket it took your little legs just to take you a mile. Oh, good question.

I wonder. Un-effin-believable. You went 250 miles with your legs just pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, as opposed to a, I mean, at the time, if you would have gotten like the top dollar mountain bike, you could have probably cut down on those rotations by, I don't know, half. I'm sure. Right? Or more, right? You get one of those mountain bikes with like 18 gears. Yeah.

And you're on your little BMX bike. Yeah, that's all we had. Just burying just everything you got into every turn of that sprocket. I mean, now 30-some years later, I'm glad we did it. But at the time, it really was probably the dumbest thing we ever done. What a great story. By the way, I won that 400-meter-meter foot race because I thought it was a sprint. It is.

It is? Yeah. Well, then maybe I got the wrong number. 400 meters is one lap around the track. Well, we went, okay, then I got the wrong number. It was grade school, you know. Sure. We must have went around three times.

I hated. So I don't know what that was. I went around four times. I think that's like a mile. Four times is a mile. Yeah. That's what I used to do. Whatever it was, I said, I'll do it.

When they said go, I sprinted my nuts off because I did not even know where the finish line was. And I had this immense lead over everyone else because they knew what they were up against. I did not. So somehow I held on to this lead until the bitter end. And I regretted that idea so, so bad. It about killed me dead on the spot. Regular Steve Prefontein over there. I like it.

Steve Prefontein? Who's that? American Distance Runner from the 70s. Of course. Oh, that's Steve Pre. How did you not get that reference? I thought you were talking about the other Steve Prefontein, the guy, remember the guy who used to come into the building now and again?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was Steve Prefonte. But he wasn't from the 70s. He was from the, we'll be. He wasn't from Cus Bay, Oregon. We'll be back, yeah. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good.

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And it spells relief for you. One Night with Stiney. Shout-out, Full-Send, N-K, this is just about me being myself. It's going to be chaotic. I can't guarantee anything. All I can guarantee is that you're going to be entertained. How can I join L-V-O?

You can keep DMing Drake or keep paying. I like how you know that I do that. I know you DM Drake all the time. I know. How do you know that? You paid me $3,000 on Venmo one time to text him for you. Dude. One night with Stiney.

One night with Stine, baby. Let's go. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. F me running. Hey, Josh. Yes. Remember a few minutes ago when you played Seven Dust?

Yeah. Yeah. I remember that. People seem to really enjoy that. Yeah, I'm glad folks are into it. You're right. Texts were blowing up. We've got to start doing more of that on this show.

Just kind of playing whatever we want. Just playing some bands here and there that we'll talk to the boss. Next week. I know how to talk to that guy. Yeah, you know how to manipulate him. Yeah. Next week, all Huey Lewis in the news. Actually, next month, all, you know, at the rest of time, all Huey Lewis in the news.

We probably should slip some Huey Lewis in the news in this morning, because it's F off day. Again, I'm baked. Yeah, why not? All right. So after Shaver? We're going to go down in history today, I think, as the only morning show

to play both Seven Dust and Huey Lewis in the news in the same three and a half hour window of time. I wonder if we'd be the only rock station ever. Who's ever done that? In the history, as they say. The history of time. But now we have a difficult task ahead of us, don't we? Yeah.

What is that task? Cubby. Trying to picture or, you know, figure out which one to play. Which Huey Lewis in the news song do we play? And if you're wondering how to hell did Huey Lewis in the news come up, that's just one of me and Cubby's favorite acts, and we talk about them a lot. We like to keep their memory alive. Not that they're gone, you know, dead and gone, but they're just not talked about like

they used to be, and we feel like they deserve that attention. So later on, after Randy Shaver, I don't know, sometime we'll play Huey Lewis in the news. I kind of feel like hearing walking on a thin line. I love that song. I do. You know what sucks up more time than walking on a thin line? What's that? I want a new drug.

Because walking on a thin line, that's got to be like a five-minute song. How long is, let's see. I want a new drug if you play the full smear. You know, they got the radio edit. You know how they do that in radio, Josh? They shorten her down there. If you play the whole, I want a new drug, I think that's some bitch. She goes beyond five minutes.

I want a new drug. Should we just do that for the rest of the stupid news? Do what? Huey Lewis? Well, I worked all day on this yesterday, Ashley. I put a lot of work in that. But then if you didn't use it, we could use it on Monday. Doesn't that happen sometimes?

You are the smartest person I've ever known. That is always fun. It's like, oh, yes. I'm so glad you showed up today. Well, let's just try one stupid news story. If it doesn't go anywhere, then we'll play Huey Lewis in the news. Oh, Jacob's Ladder. Jacob's Ladder is beautiful.

That is a beautiful song. Great. You know that one too? Yes. Awesome. I know that because of you guys. Power of love. I mean, that was the lead single from the damn.

What's that movie called? Back to the future. Brilliant. Believe in love. Brilliant. Oh, don't even talk about it. I don't believe in. Or pardon me, do you believe in love?

love that song. The background singing is what makes that song. And who in the band came up with Wii U-U-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W. Who had that idea? It's a great idea. Most bands just would have said, ooh-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo, but Huey-Lew-N-N-U

turned it into a Wii-U-W-W-U. Now this person is... See, people overlook details like that, don't they, John? Some people do, yeah. They do. They just kind of listen and not pay attention. Not us. No, no, no, no, no, not at all.

I've mentioned this before. You might get a CD from or maybe now stream something from Huey Lewis and think, wow, I'm listening to a greatest hits album. No, it's just a regular album. That's all they do is write greatest hits. So later on, we're going to play Huey Lewis in the news. This person says, hey, be careful. I don't know if you're allowed to do that. Go from Seven Dust to Huey Lewis.

You might get fined for being too cool. That is pretty cool. Josh, you remember his cameo on Family Guy? You know, it sounds familiar. There was an episode where Peter is talking about how he's obsessed with the 80s and everything. They keep playing Huey Lewis songs. And then they cut to him sitting in a hot tub, and it's his voice. It's animated, of course.

And he goes, hey, it's Huey Lewis here. Every time Family Guy plays one of my songs, I get to add a new hot tub to my cabin in the mountains of Colorado. And then it pans out and, like, a crane is dropping down, like, the ninth hot tub on this huge decky ass. Was it actually him? Yeah, it was actually his voice. That's awesome. So I'm going to cut loose with this first stupid news story.

And Josh, maybe you can, just as a teaser, can you find the ass end of the song, Do You Believe in Love, when they cut loose with the Wii U, woo, woo, woo, followed by the Wii, Woo, Woo, just so folks understand that there was something behind that. They could have been lazy about it, but they weren't. No, they went the extra mile. Sometimes it's the little things. Exactly. That's what different.

What's the word? Differentiates. Huey Lewis from the rest of the plebs making music. Plebs. All right. Hip to be square. Sure is. I never really like that one.

Friggin' social media. Okay, let's start talking. No, no, that's not where we're starting. Wait a minute. Yeah, I got my stories mixed up. I'll find the one I meant to start with. You want to start about the Walmart kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're starting off with this kid who went ahead and made a stand. He made his statement. But I don't think anyone's completely sure what point or statement the kid was trying to make. Maybe you folks can figure it out. The police up there in Washington, they're on the lookout for a kid. Oh, what did he do now? He set fire to all the bras at Walmart. Ashley, do you ever go on over to Walmart to do some trading?

No, I don't. Really? No, not really. Everything else is closer. I don't want to go to somewhere that's like two minutes further than a target. You've never done any trading at Wall. We got one by us. I enjoy it.

Lucky. Did you even know? Did you even know that they sell bras and underwear? Oh, yeah, I knew that. I've bought them in the past, I guess, but not anymore. They're pretty good. I know for sure they sell them at Target because when I was on the force, you know, towing that thin, red and khaki line as an asset protection,

special forces guy, basically. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Essentially, I'm right up there in the upper echelon. Thank you for your service. Special forces. Finally, somebody thanked me for my service. Ooh, 38 special. Anyway.

That was a 38th. That's another great band. That's an album by 38. Go ahead. All of August will play 38th. Right. So we used to find gentlemen that were by themselves in the bra and panty aisle. Hell yeah.

And no, no, hell no. Pretty gross stuff. Wait, you're talking about men were masturbating in the lingerie department? Usually it's like a couple of repeat offenders. And there was one time, one of the coolest things I've ever seen in person again when I was on the special forces. My boss, we'd kick this guy out so many times. Cops called so many times. The guy didn't care.

He just wanted to come in and masturbate at Target. And so my boss is to fold him aside. He was like, hey, you know what? He explained all the times we've kicked him out, all the repercussions that he's faced. And he threatened to beat him up. He's like, I'm going to take you outside and I'm going to kick your hat. And he was a very intimidating guy, my boss. Never came back.

That's all it took was a threat from this. I will beat you senseless. He's one of the coolest guys I ever met. You beat off. I was scared. I beat you into next week. Right. I had a fun little moment in time at Walmart a year ago or so.

Oh, I ain't kidding you right now. I was looking at the hooded sweatshirts at Walmart. I love a good hooded sweatswere. And there was a couple nearby. We were only feet apart. And I heard we were all looking at the hooded sweatshirtes. shirts, me and this couple. And I heard the dude say to his woman, be on the lookout, will you? And she said, why? And he said, because I'm about ready to steal this mother effort. And he did.

He stuck a hooded sweatshirt down the front of his jacket, and they walked away. I could have said something, but you know what? I didn't. Not your pig, not your farm? It's none of your business. I'm about ready to steal this mother effort, he said. 651 or 715, Jesus, what wants to know what percentage of jobs that I've had where I've caught people molesting themselves? Yeah, it was there at Target and then here at the radio station. And the same amount of people, about two people in both situations. You have been through some things.

So here's this kid at a Walmart in Washington. He set all the bras on fire. It says here he's up and around six. 16 to 18 years old, somewhere's in there. Walmart got a picture of the little bastard while he was in the store. So they shared that with the police. If this matters at all to you, it says the kid was wearing a gray t-shirt that said Wildcat across the front,

and he was also wearing some sweatpants with an Army logo. What's going on, Josh? Well, you're wearing a sweatshirt that says Egan Wild Cats. Yeah, which is very dorky-looking. by a so well I was I got it from Walgreens for seven dollars. In this case the hoodie just simply said wild. Most folks in the neighborhood agree that this kid had the whole caper planned out. They say it's not like he took a hit of a crack rock or something and then suddenly went into a tizzy, you know, and went nuts.

And this was an improvised anti-braw firestorm. They say it looked like a play. thing. The kid showed up at Walmart in a Cadillac escalade, if that matters at all to you. He went directly, he walked directly to the women's lingerie section. He set them bras a fire. Once she was lit, he hustled on back to his escalade and he drove smooth out of there. So it appeared to be the only reason he was there. Did he think it was 1968? He was making a political statement? The Walmart had to be evacuated because it was on fire.

And then it also had to be ventilated afterwards because apparently a bra inferno doesn't smell too good. Oh, I wouldn't think so. Nobody got killed. So like I said, the cops in town are looking for this teenage J. Brone. How weird. Why does he hate those bras so much? Nobody knows. Oh, God.

Several years ago at the high V by us, some kids went in and they lit some fire crackers, and that was quite the ordeal. I remember that. Yeah, I made the news. Yeah, that was awesome. It was a big, pretty big fire. The firecrackers. I love that high V, by the way.

Well, it's awesome. It's absolutely wonderful. I just get happy when I walk in the door. How can you not? It's like listening to Huey Lewis and the news. That's the grocery store. Oh, man. Could you imagine walking through that high V and they start playing Huey Lewis?

I bet they have it over the PA. I bet they do sometimes. Maybe they take quite. requests. All right, here's that social media story that I tried to tell you a few minutes ago and then realized I didn't know what I was doing. Everyone's nuts over there on social media. Is anyone really who they appear to be on social media? Check this nightmare out. A 30-year-old gal went missing in Mexico. The local cops grabbed a pile of pictures of this gal off of social media this and that, right?

So they would know who they're looking for. So they could hand out some flyers to folks in town and say, hey, keep an eye out for this lady. She's missing. The problem was, if I understand this correctly, because I'm not a social media guy, but if I understand this correctly, the pictures of this gal from her Facebook page or whatever it was, the pictures were so doctored up using filters and whatnot that, the missing gal's friends, once they saw the pictures, they said, damn, these look nothing like her at all.

Not even close. So there was a big panic. Have you guys seen a lot of folks on social media who completely effed with their pictures to fool people into thinking they're flawless? Yes. I'm not on it, I guess, to tell you. You've seen that, Ashley. Yeah.

It's kind of like the old radio gimmick, Josh. back in the day when it came time for us to put pictures of ourselves on social media for the very first time. When social media became, or not social media, websites, I should say. When we first got a website around here, and it came time for the DJs to ante up pictures of themselves to put on the website. What did some of us do? Well, if you look like a typical radio person, you put a picture of your childhood. If you ever go on a website, you see a radio person and they're like tan. who are younger.

Just know, whoof, they must be tough to look at. It must be pretty bad. That was the move. Yes. Oh, look at, I'm just, here's my childhood. I was enjoying a push pop. Here I am when I was 14. You know what that is, Dana?

Oh, I'll send you some links. I don't even know what a push pop is. So there was this panic. They're looking for this missing gal in Mexico. They're passing out flyers. They're posting pictures up on telephone poles and whatnot. Her friends get a look at the pictures and say, this looks nothing like her at all.

I can barely see a resemblance. Everything's different. The gal had doctored herself up on Facebook. And what a weird way for that gimmick to come back to haunt her. Well, it's kind of weird because, I mean, anybody that meets you is going to instantly realize it looks nothing like that. Yeah, that's why I don't get that. Unless you just want followers you don't even know.

Yes, I think the point is, the point is for complete strangers to worship you and want you, you know. Ooh, look at this. This is somebody that I should follow or click on. Luckily, this gal was found alive after about a week. They found her walking down a highway somewhere. Who knows what that's all about? Yeah, what were you doing, girl?

Don't know what she was doing. This story has started a big, boring conversation about the use of social images for missing persons' posters. Yes, that's the... easiest source for the cops to use, right, to go to your social media. Yeah, quick. But, yeah, if everyone is using a filter and tricking themselves out to look gorgeous, the cops aren't going to know who they're looking for.

They're not going to know, Josh, that who they're looking for is actually much, much uglier. Kind of reminds me, was it Arrowsmith's Sweet Emotion video where there's a kid, like he sees an advertisement for a phone sex line and of course the lady's gorgeous and then at the end you realize it's like a mother of 10 who's super old doesn't look anything like it she's ironing you know I mean it was just like quite the change from what he was imagining

exactly sweet emotion they made a video for that in the 90s at one point or another like a single hot lady no she was not at all no somebody with some responsibilities there by the way somebody, I'm assuming for comedy, brought in some pictures of me and Nick, and I didn't even notice it right away,

because I can't see it from where I'm sitting. In the studio, I hate that picture. Well, I don't like any picture of me. You look hilarious. It's stupid, isn't it? Am I that stupid looking in person? Like, would this be a good example of, oh, I wouldn't recognize that person? Or is it close enough?

You look like a complete dork. Why would they use that? Dude, you just suck at taking pictures. I know. You do something weird with your face. I don't know what, I don't know how to stop. Is there a class I could take? Look at your community ed book.

Maybe there's a how to take a decent photo class. I look like Clint from Seven Dust, if you were listening earlier, you get the joke. Yeah, what they brought in were these giant tag boards that I imagine they'll put on display somewhere. I don't know. When you make a public appear, when you do a bar gig or something, they'll bring these. I don't know why. I don't know what their purpose is. But they must be from a long time ago because I have no gray in my beard at all.

Yeah, I don't remember taking it. that at all. No, no. And I like, it's in black and white, I think, because maybe we're more ugly in color. I don't know. They always do the black and white thing. They are so funny. Look at just your heads. Yeah. I don't know. I don't like that. Let's burn them. Burn them down, Ashley. Yeah, we can do that. Do you folks keep those iPods on you at all times? Well, not in 20 years. Wait a minute. AirPods. What am I talking about here, Josh?

Air pods. Oh, yeah. Air pods. Sorry. Sorry, AirPods. I don't know what these things are. I don't have any. So who has a set of AirPods?

I do. You two people do. Some gal, you can see her on that TikTok setup. She's very popular suddenly. Very popular. Because she told the story about how she upped and swallowed her air pods or a single air pod. Here's her story. She says she was grabbing her vitamins from a table over at her apartment,

and she accidentally chucked one of her AirPods into her wordhole with the vitamins and gutted it on down. She didn't realize it at first, but then a short while later, while she was sitting in her car, her cell phone, I think, or something, told her that her AirPods was connected. Does that all make sense? Am I making it? Because I don't know what I'm talking about. Her phone told her that her air pod was connected, and the gal was thinking, well, I don't have my AirPods with me.

It says here she slowly came to the realization that her air pod was in her stomach and headed for her intestines and eventually her butthole. That's usually where it ends up. And she says she freaked out. She called the folks at poison control, Cubby, and they basically said she should wait for the AirPod to pass out her little bottom. And then they said, if it hurts like hell coming out the monkey button, she should go to the closest urgent care facility.

Did everyone know the kid that ate Legos? Yeah. Yeah, buddy of mine did. His parents took him to the emergency room. They said the same thing. Just waited out. And his mom had to check, you know, every instance. Oh, no.

She had to go through that and see if there's any Lego in there. The only, I didn't know a Lego eater. The only inanimate object eater that I know from my childhood was me. My brother and I, when we were little kids, my twin brother and I were gifted little six shooters with plastic bullets. And I swallowed one of the bullets. So my mom had to, On purpose or?

I don't remember. I was a little kid. I don't remember if I meant to or not, but my mom had to, I had to poop in my mom's hand for a few days. So apparently, this gal with the iPod in her stomach, it refused to fall out of her ass. She pooed and she pooed. But there was no sign of the stupid thing. She got an x-ray. They couldn't find it in there either.

So a doctor told her that she must have crapped it out But somehow didn't spot it When she was staring at and sifting through her own cold, wet, soft stool She's doing fine now Yeah, that's just gone, right? I mean, you don't wash that and reuse it? No, you don't. I wouldn't.

I'm running through the dishwasher. She was actually asked about that, Josh. Someone on TikTok asked her if she would have found the AirPods. Would she have used it again? And she said, and I think she was trying to make a joke here, she said she would have had to assess the damage. D-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-assess the damage.

It's a butt joke. Yep. Most commenters said they, there's no way. That's just they're letting that thing go. Yeah, she must have farted it out at one point or another, and just she couldn't find it. I had AirPods once, and my ears must be shaped stupid because they'd fall out constantly. So I just ended up giving them away.

I also was gifted a pair of AirPods. They kept falling out my ear hole, and I've got to be totally honest with you, I have no idea where they are today. Doesn't that just mean that you guys need to put, like, the bigger ear things in there? I tried all of them. Don't know, don't care, to be totally honest with me. I have odd ears. Weird, weirdo. Thanks.

I guess we knew that already. They're big and shaped weird, I guess. Real quick before we go. I'm sorry, what are we doing? Making fun of Josh's ears? Oh, yeah, oh, they're large. Yeah, I mean, they stick out and they're large, but I didn't know that your inner ear was also oversized.

Mine are, obviously, because they just kept falling smooth out. Yeah, it's odd. Did custom earbuds? How about a quick cheating story? Cheating on your wife, husband. What's happening? I was trying to watch you tell this story. I can't turn my head.

Oh, yeah, those satellite dishes you got on the side of your... Look this way. Other way, other way. Cheating story. Let's see if you like this one. A gal who bakes things for a living. I guess you'd call her a baker. Yep.

She went ahead. She told this story on the godless evil social media, a cheating story. The baker lady, Big Julie, she goes by the name of Big Julie. She says she got an order for a huge birthday cake a few months ago. A woman was ordering it for her boyfriend. A dude called Jonathan. And by damn, a large celebration was in the works.

The custom cake cost $600. And it was big enough for 75 people. That sounds like a hell of a party is coming up. If you're ordering a $600 cake that can, feed 75. But right before it was due to be picked up, the woman found out that Jonathan was banging a sidepiece and banging it hard. Son of a bitch, he had something on the side. And the girlfriend found out right before Jonathan's big birthday party. So the woman called up Big Julie, the baker, and she said the

party's no longer happening. Cancel that cake. but the cake had already been made. 600 bucks. So the gal who got cheated on said she'd be willing to pay an extra $100 for a video of Big Julie smashing that cake into oblivion. Like a therapeutic thing.

Sure. You follow in what's happening there? I would have ate it. You would have ate it. Yeah, I'm not paying $600 for a cake that I'm not even going to taste. Uh-uh. Big Julie was down with the idea.

She was. Uh-huh. But she didn't. demolished the cake, she set it on fire. Does that change it for you, Ashley? I guess it's kind of cool, but... Big Julie filmed the video of her setting it on fire. And also, as part of the video,

Big Julie even went ahead and lectured that slot Jonathan for being a total bag of dicks and cheating on his girlfriend. My client found out her boyfriend cheating on her the same day she was supposed to come pick up this big ass cake for him. She asked me, instead of picking up, can I smash it for him? her and sent her video. I told her, bitch, we're going to do one better. This is the video I sent her to send him. Jonathan is Julie with the sweetheart, so just want to wish you a happy birthday. I had so much fun making this cake for your party tonight. It's just one thing I don't like.

Cheaters, Jonathan. We don't like cheaters. Maybe I thought I was Angela Batson. Bitch, if I could have filmed a walk-off and the cake exploding, that would have been everything I needed. Moral of the story, stop playing with people, okay? That's right. Bitch, she said, I like it when people do that. Me too. I don't watch a lot of reality television shows. but boy did I like Cake Boss. I don't know what it was about Cake Boss, but I really enjoyed that.

Tell me about it because I never saw it. It was the American choppers of confectionaries. Okay, see American choppers? Never saw it. It was, I don't know how else to describe it. Basically, people would order these immaculate and just highly detailed cakes for various events. And they'd be crazy expensive too, right?

More than hundreds of dollars, thousands of dollars. And for whatever reason, and you know, it was like all this drama behind the scenes. And usually I'm not into that type of show. Cake boss drama. I could not stop watching Cake Boss. I loved it. And people obviously love him. I was on the Mall of America once, and there was a line on like the third level looped around nearly

the entire mall. And I stopped and I was like, what's everyone lined up for? Is Bert Reynolds here or something? And no, they're there to see Cake Boss. Is his bakery still there? Yeah, still there. Is it Carlos Bakery there? I don't know what they call it at the mall.

Was Cake Boss anything like Landman? No, do you guys watch Landman? Never saw it. One of the best shows on TV. Ever. I think you'd like Landman. Yeah, I do love all those, like, cake, because there's so many of them now, like those baking shows. Those are so good.

It's one of those things where you're like, I don't know. I guess I'll just throw it on and the next thing. You know it's been four hours and you're like invested in who wins. Well, my son and wife would watch, is it cake? And I thought, this is so stupid. But then I watched maybe five minutes of it. I thought, okay, is that cake? It's weirdly addicted.

Was it anything like modern family? No, a lot different than my. Never saw it. I know. You're really missing out there, dude. You'd love modern family. You would absolutely love that show. God, it's so good.

Was it like Tulsa King? Tulsa, you haven't watched Tulsa King? Never sawed. But you love Sly. I'm just hitting up all the shows that Josh has asked me to watch. Watch and I have denied him for no good reason just because I'm no good at watching television shows. I watched the shows you asked me to watch, Josh. I finished Widows Bay or I'm all cut up.

Oh, what do you think? Sometimes it's like hard to pay attention. Like, I don't know. It is really slow. Yeah. But the comedy is so subtle. And the girl, the main woman, is so frigging funny. Yeah, I agree.

Sometimes I'll be watching it and I'm like, wait, am I supposed to laugh at this? Is that supposed to be funny? Because that's hilarious. Yeah, it is. It's like sneaky, funny. It is very slow. It's on Apple TV, if I'm not familiar. Matthew Reese is the star.

I do love him. Yeah, he's great. And it's like a kind of a supernatural horror comedy about there's something mysterious going on this island. It's so weird. I can't emphasize enough how slow it is, but I find it very entertaining. A lot of our listeners are saying it was when you started watching weight, what do you call it again?

Cake boss. They said that's when your weight gain. started. I'm sensitive about it, but you're right. Sports on the 93 eggs half-assed morning show. Carolina is going to take us. Carolina wins 4 to 2.

That is the man. I agree with Barstaw Jesus who texted in who said he thinks that the Carolina Hurricanes are winning this series because they respect the game. They've had many opportunities for empty net goals in this series including last night and they did not take

those opportunities because they have respect for the game, for the fellers that came before them. To Blake, Eddie Shore, the greats. And isn't it fitting, Josh, that a team that respects the game of hockey, hauls that Stanley Cup on home with them? Now, they've got a ways to go. They still got to win a couple games before the series is theirs, the North Carolina Hurricanes.

But shouldn't it be a club that respects the game? I think if we were going to sit down and write a movie that was hockey, theme, a great one, like mystery Alaska, we would definitely want it to end that way. Son of a bitch. Like the mighty ducks. Hell yeah. I mean, the other night, and some of you're probably texting in right now,

hey, and the game prior that Eler's kid scored a net, it was accidental. Watch the replay. He was being a man about it. He was being respectful about it and putting that puck off the glass. He was just trying to ice it. Like a man. And the puck

accidentally went into the net. start with me on that Eelers kid. He's just too good. He's that damn good. The hurricane's got to win last night, four to two. It ain't over. Hell no, it ain't over. What's that other club they're playing?

Minnesota. Las Vegas. Las Vegas has got a good club. It could go in any direction. This has been a great series, but they got that three games to two lead. The Twins, Tiger's series, ended in disaster yesterday.

We can tell you about that. when Watch's Nuts swings by Randy Shaver. Josh was telling us earlier there was a television show that he really enjoyed called Cake Farts. Cake Boss. You really like that program. Listener texted and to say, Josh, Mama got cake. Hey, speaking of cake. Yes.

Question. Way back in the day, there was a lady that sat in it. Was that a cake fart or did she just sat in a cake? Well, I think Specifically in studio Oh, oh, in studio Yeah Oh, oh, sorry

I wasn't clear Yeah, we had a- She just sat on a cake That's all it was Okay, I couldn't remember what happened Cake sitting, cake farting All of that Had its moment

On line, right? Yeah, right The cake fart thing We brought a gal in here Decades ago Just to do some cake sitting Yes As far as I remember, Josh, there was no gas involved.

She just sat on some cakes for us. She did. Because she had a big behind. Yeah, I couldn't remember if there was a fart involved. I would, of course, try and forget that part. What was that friggin' song? Now, I got that song in my head about having a big behind. It wasn't Baby Got Back.

It wasn't pumps and a bump. it wasn't the rump shaker God dang it was like a It was featured in a Spike Lee movie 6.5-1-9-89-93-93 What was that old song About having a big bottom It wasn't big bottom by spinal tap, obviously

It was featured in a Spike Lee movie Text me Again, 651-989-93-93 I know somebody could come up with it It was this catchy-ass song I'll get back to you What's that? Poo Poo's and Pee-Pes

Jesus says of the cake sitting That was for your birthday Oh I have no memory of that I just remember it happening I can't remember the details Friggin beer Did it happen more than ones Ah geez I just remember the one

Okay then yeah I was here for that Okay Makes sense because yeah It was your birthday And yeah didn't we have I thought we just had some some strippers then right I have no idea

Yeah I thought like Foco did it. Maybe I'm misremembering completely. All I remember is there was a lady. Sitting on a cake. She pulled down her pants and sat on a cake. Her underwears came off too. Yeah.

That was fun. I took video. Not fat bottom girls, not big booty hose, not the humpty hump. We got one listener who got it. Doin the butt. Remember that one, Josh? Boote, bootte. Ain't nothing wrong if you're going to do the butt all night long.

It was from a spike. I love that friggin' song. I'm trying to see if we have that. What time is it? Right now, 7.10. All right. We've got to take a break. And Josh has got his news report coming up next.

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on for dear life. That's where our friends at Standard Heating and Air Conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work, and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees,

maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-L-K-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. This isn't your average podcast. You like party? This is full send. Join the party. So you guys launch the Nelke Love Island. Congrats, boys. Who's that? action dude. Like five years ago, we could do that easily and it'd be crazy when we're partying, but when you're like in your 30s a little bit. Well, that's why you barely show up to set, day two.

Just a few hours of tardy. Stani wanted to be the host, too. It's like, why didn't you let me be the host? It's like, bro, you showed up six hours late every day. I had a girlfriend. The Full Send podcast, follow and listen on your favorite platform. Sometimes when I blow my nose, I get a boner. I don't know why. It just happens. Half-assed morning show. Force play and or failure to adhere to safety rules and standards of professional conduct will not be tolerated. This regretful conduct is not consistent with the expectations

and service commitments of this department. It was supposed to be just another day in the Pasadena Police Department parking garage. Two officers stood outside smiling, leaning against the back of a police SUV, looking more like co-workers killing time between shifts than participants in what would soon become one of the most idiotic workplace accidents imaginable. As another patrol car approached, one of the standing officers apparently decided to auditioned for a Wild West remake. In one quick gunslinger-style motion, he yanked his firearm from its holster

and pointed it directly at the officer behind the wheel. What happened next wasn't fully captured on dash cam footage, but according to the police chief, Gene Harris, the officer inside the patrol car thought I can play that game, and he drew his own firearm. But a second later, the officer who had been playing quick-draw champ grabs his shoulder and crouches in pain, discovering that workplace horseplay becomes considerably less hilarious when high-velocity ballistics are involved.

One of the standing officers inappropriately and in a quick-draw fashion drew his firearm from his holster and pointed it at the officer seated in the approaching unit. The seated officer who subsequently drew his firearm while still in the driver's seat, the driving officer's firearm discharged. The second guy shot the first guy. Within moments, other officers rushed in as the reality of the situation sinks in, replacing grins with grimaces in a hurry. The case has now been referred to the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office for criminal review.

Both officers were disciplined, and officials say the wounded officer has fully recovered. Well, let me ask you something. Just what the hell is going on over there? I don't know. I don't know. You can see the video on 93x.com. So weird. What are they doing?

They look like idiots. Yeah. I mean, and watch with the other guy. The other guy. I mean, you should know, like, how to, they're cops. They know what to do. I don't know what's going on with the other guy. Oh, gosh, that's going to be tough to live down.

A Tennessee woman was minding her own business in a Walmart parking lot when a stranger's bad day took an unexpected detour through her Audi. The woman told police about 7 p.m. Saturday she was sitting in her 2013 Audi A4, outside of Walmart and Memphis, when everything changed with a bang, quite literally. She suddenly heard a gunshot and discovered a bullet had struck the rear passenger door of her vehicle. According to the woman, the shot appeared to come from a nearby white Chevrolet sedan. The driver, who was alone in the vehicle, also seemed to have a problem of his own. One of his hands appeared to be injured.

Officers with the Memphis Police Department responded to the scene, observed the damage to the Audi, and recovered a bullet fragment from inside her vehicle. Investigators soon connected, that is, the dots. A path went from handgun to hand owie to ladies outy. After he took off from the scene, authorities discovered 23-year-old Elijah Jones was being treated in the emergency room of a nearby hospital. He had a gunshot wound right to the hand. He advised officers. He was sitting in the driver's seat when he reached beneath the seat to grab his gun,

and that's when he went and gave himself an aftermarket humphole. Officers were called after an accidental shooting in the parking lot. According to court records, Jones told police that his gun went off. as he tried to grab it from under the front seat of his car. The woman was not hurt. So to sum it up, there was a shot through the hand with Jones to blame. He shot an Audi with bad aim. Jones was arrested and booked on a charge of reckless endangerment

related to the discharge of a firearm from within a motor vehicle. That guy screwed up. What started as an afternoon ATV ride east of Park Rapids turned into a full-fledged gilf rescue and quite possibly a life-saving one. Someone rescued a gilf. They did. Two men, one of whom, a retired U.S. Marshall, spotted a minivan mired in a muddy stretch of heavily wooded trail Saturday. It was a granny in the goo.

Beside that vehicle, a 68-year-old woman was trapped in a deep mud puddle with only her face visible above the surface. One of the men later said the scene looked like something out of a movie. The woman managed to utter two words, six-seven. You notice that there was a body in the puddle next to the van. She uttered up to us, help me. That's when we transitioned our form of thoughts to this is a rescue mission. The man quickly pulled her from the mud and called for assistance. She told them she'd been trapped for days.

What? Recalling she had watched the sunrise and fall multiple times while waiting to be found. That's terrifying. When she was discovered, she was lying on her back badly sunburned after spending days exposed to the element. I bet. Oh, my God. Makes it even worse. Be red.

According to the rescuers, after the woman's Van had become stuck on the trail. She was getting out, but she fell into some mud, and she described it as being like quicksand. She was unable to free herself. You got to be kidding me. What makes his story even more remarkable is the two men had spent years riding trails in the region and usually followed the same routes, but on this particular day, however, they chose a different path, one that led them directly to a woman who desperately needed their help. I have never mapped that trail in my life ever. We changed everything, how we do everything. For some reason, And it had to be God.

It had to be. Who? It had to be what? God. Oh, God. Yeah. The rescue happened roughly 100 miles from the woman's home. So authorities are still trying to determine why she was in the area.

Maybe she got a side piece in the neighborhood or something. My dad, she laid there in the mud for seven days? A few days. Oh, boy, I bet she could use a bite to eat. I would go so thirsty. I bet she could use a good meal at a face. air price and maybe a bottle of water. Do you guys mind if we go late?

I have so much more. Do whatever the hell you want. It expires today. I've told you over and over again. Go, baby. Just go. Take us to nine, Josh. Just keep going. I don't like to steal time from anybody. Time,

he says. We may not be alone in the universe. And honestly, a lot of Americans seem perfectly fine with that. Recent research shows a majority of Americans believe intelligent life exists somewhere out there. Here we go again. Which is encouraging because some days it can be tough to find it down here, especially in social media.

Nearly one in five say they've seen something that they thought was a UFO. And most suspect the government knows more about unidentified aerial phenomena than it's letting on. They straight up just like told us. What do you mean? Don't you get me started on the government? They're like, hey, there's aliens. And everyone was like, that's cool. We know.

There's a psychic in Brazil who's claiming a mothership is about to come down. It's going to be at the World Cup in Miami. And apparently in that moment, he disclaims, full disclosure of alien life will be confirmed. Oh, aliens like soccer. This is where they're going to finally come out the closet, so to speak. As a matter of, yes. During the soccer tournament. It's going to be a big ship because it's alleged 700 people, including the players, will be sucked up into the mothership.

Again, this is a Brazilian psychic. Yes. They know what they're talking about. Of course they do. That Aliens on Earth fascination lands in theaters this week with Disclosure Day, Steven Spielberg's latest trip into alien territory. Disclosure Day is about if somebody had possession of the entire archive of visual evidence of what's been happening for the last 80 years, what would happen if they decided to do a data dump

across the entire world all at once? and the people who are trying to stop that day to dump from happening, that is basically the core of this chase movie. Boring! In Disclosure Day, Josh O'Connor stars as a man who gains access to classified information about extraterrestrial beings, triggering a global scramble over what the public should know. Emily Blunt plays a television meteorologist experiencing increasingly bizarre phenomena, while Colin Firth plays a powerful figure determined to keep the truth buried.

Spielberg is in front. just telling the story he appears to buy into it as well. The director recently said after decades of studying the subject, he believes aliens are right here with us. I mean, this seems a crazy question. I can't believe I'm asking it, but I'm asking it seriously. Have aliens been here? I absolutely think they have been here and they are here. And who knows, maybe they've always been here.

He's hardly alone. Celebrities including Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves, Dwayne Johnson, Dan Aykroyd, and Blink 182's Tom DeLong. Oh, thanks for slip to that one in there for me, Josh. I wouldn't leave you hanging. Have all publicly expressed belief in E.T. life. The long in particular has become one of the loudest voices pushing for UFO disclosure. Completely unrelated. This week marks the 25th anniversary of Blink 182's Take Off Your Pants and Jacket.

Spielberg has been exploring the possibility of alien life for decades through films like Close Encounters of the Third Kind, E.T. In The War of the World's movie. I do like that close encounters set up. Yeah. He's done some good stuff. That one's fun. His name was also attached to cowboys and aliens, though. Oh, right. Yeah, that was a nightmare.

He even jokes... That was an absolute nightmare. Yeah, that could have been better. He even jokes that despite becoming Hollywood's unofficial ambassador to extraterrestrials, he's still waiting for his own sighting. Have you ever had any sort of paranormal event in your life? Isn't that terrible? Yeah.

I deserve... I deserve a sighting. I'm an ambassador of these guys, and they haven't shown themselves to me. I don't get that. legendary composer John Williams provides the score. That dude's still around? Yeah, those guys are buddies. I remember hearing that name years ago.

Oh, he's a genius. The Spielberg Williams Partnership, as produced some of the most recognizable music and movie history. But when Williams first played the now iconic two-note theme from Jaws, Spielberg laughed. He thought it was a joke. He expected something grander, more melodic, but Williams fired back, quote,

the sophisticated approach you would like me to take isn't the approach you took with the film I just experienced. Of course, one of the most famous lines from Jaws is, you're going to need a bigger boat. You're going to need a bigger boat. That's especially relevant, nope, relevant this morning because our booze crews, which was sold out, is no longer sold out. How was that possible? A lot of people backed out. They didn't know what they were buying. They found out I was going to be there.

Yeah. For the first time ever, we've had to double the boat. We are chartering a bigger boat to get more drunks like yourself on board. We've never done that before. It's been the biggest boat we've ever been on for something like this. I don't know what could get bigger. I didn't either. I thought we had the biggest one.

This show is finally above the law. Well, again, thank you to everybody who bought their tickets. You know, we were bummed yesterday. I mean, we were glad that folks were interested, but kind of bummed that. Geez, that went quick. So now they have a boat twice the size. So more people can get on there. New boat, same questionable decisions, just more people.

So if you missed it the first time around, head to 93X.com. Grab your passes to come aboard, and thanks, as always, to 10K construction for making that happen. We've got an even bigger boat. We have a bigger boat. Saw a picture of that thing yesterday? It's too big. Oh, I want to see it. I would like to see a picture of this damn boat.

Yeah, you'll have to take a look. So 93X.com. Happy birthday to Princess Zelda Rose, turning the Big O7 today from Dad, Matt the Machine, Jesus. Cade is turning to Big 08 today. Happy birthday, Bubba from Mom and Dad. Happy 40th to the lovely and talented dawn. And quickly, if you want to, you could join me tomorrow for the Homestead Steaks Meat Sale at Menards and Apple Valley, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. hanging out, having a little fun, half-priced barbecue family packs,

and 20 rib-eyes for $40 while we're there. So again, Apple Valley. the Menards there from 11 to 1, and that's 93X News. Randy Shaver. On the half-assed morning show. Carolina is going to take a three games to two lead. Back to Vegas. Carolina wins 4 to 2.

And Brandon Bussey is the man of the hour. Oh, he is. He is. Brandon Bussie's the man of the hour. How you doing, Randy Shaver? Hello? Hello. How are you, brother? I'm good.

Can you hear me? We got you. Yeah, we can hear you loud. Sometimes helps when the Bordop pods the fade. Yeah. You got to turn the fader up? Yeah. Well, they should teach you that in Bordops.

I know, I know. They've been trying to get me back to do like, what do you call a refresher course. We're weird today, Rain. It's been kind of odd. Well, I mean, I don't know. I showed up, maybe I'm the only one who's weird. I showed up feeling strange, like really, like almost like I'm stone. Under the weather?

No, no, no, no, not sick. It's just I have this spacey, carefree vibe to me like I just smoked some of that boogie-woogie. And I can't explain it, but I just thought you should know in case I get really sideways here. That Josh had the same feeling earlier this week. This is what's interesting about it.

You felt really loose and almost high early. out of it, especially yesterday. So there may be some kind of a natural gas leak in the neighborhood. We don't know. I put the, yesterday I told Dana, I'm like, can you keep an eye on me? I'm texting Dana yesterday. Like, I don't know what's going on. Like, I don't care.

I mean, I normally don't care on Fridays, but I care less about this program now than I ever have. There's sometimes on, I think the earliest you've ever not cared was Wednesday. Yeah. Because last time's Thursday, it kind of started. I think yesterday you sort of said something. I can't explain it, but it's a real thing. I feel like I smoked some of the stickiest of the icky. And I haven't smoked marijuana cigarettes in years, Randi.

Is that kind of how you feel? Yes. Is it a similar feeling? Yeah, I feel stoned. So if I get a little... I just feel it's overtired in my... Maybe that's it. I don't know.

If I get a little funny... Randy, do you know how popular we are? Don't... I have no idea. Don't do that. Josh just told us, you know, we got this Independence Day booze cruise coming up on July 10th. Of course, you're welcome to join us. I'm out. He's got plans. He didn't even hear what day.

But he's busy. July 10th will be floating up and down the St. Croix for a three-hour setup. Okay. This is how popular we are. All right. We sold that pig out in three days, and now Josh tells us that we've gone ahead to buy a, we're going to rent an even bigger boat now so we can fit more listeners on that some big. Yeah, they're doubling it up. They're doubling the size of the boat?

Yeah, we've never had a boat this big. The one we're on is incredibly large, but they doubled it up. It's the kind of double that'll get a player in trouble. So again, thank you so much for everyone that bought tickets. And, you know, we were, it kind of sucked yesterday because people were texting going, gee, I had no time to buy them. They wanted to get on. So now anybody that wants to, I don't think there's any danger of selling a double boat out.

I bet we sell the double out. I don't know. Maybe, maybe. It's a juicy double. If you want to go, you're good. There's time to buy. Go to 93x.com. That's how popular we are, Randy Shaver. Well, congratulations.

Well, you're a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very small part of it. I totally understand. You're a minute part of our pot of it. I know. Yeah. Yes. I appreciate that. Josh played you some audio there, the North Carolina Hurricane.

Yeah. They've been waiting for that power play to get going. You guys got to get the power play going. Stop losing. Right. Shoot the puck. They've been waiting for that power play to get going. They've been waiting for a couple of players to get going in this series.

Andre Vetchnikov and Sebastian Ah-Ho. and last night she all fell together for the hurricanes. They got a couple of power play goals from those characters. As a matter of fact, Schvetchnikov scored twice. Aho hadn't scored, it feels like Sebastian Aho hadn't scored a goal in months. Yeah.

And if you saw his reaction when he scored last night, you could tell it was a great relief. So they got it all going last night. And now they're just one victory away from winning that Stanley Cup. Yeah, Las Vegas took some. some bad penalties last night that didn't help their cost. That's just like the one thing you don't want to do when a series is tied to two, is to take penalties that put the other team,

give the other team an advantage, especially a Carolina team that's been so good at home all year long. That was kind of their undoing last night. And the second period has been Vegas's period. They completely have dominated this period in the, in the Stanley Cup finals. And last night they didn't score. Yep, went the other way this time.

Went the other way. Didn't get as many good opportunities or chances. And when Carolina made it four to one with about nine minutes left, it felt like this thing was pretty much over. They're going back to Las Vegas. They'll play Sunday night in Nevada. John Tortorella, my favorite NHL coach by a landslide, he told the media after the game,

He said, we're going to be coming back to North Carolina. Yeah. I hope so. Sure. It's been fun. It's been a really fun series. These two teams, we've said it before, pretty evenly matched. They're perfectly matched.

And the goaltending last night for the first time in the series was actually really good because each side has been scoring a ton of goals on each other. And last night it kind of tightened itself up a little bit. The Bussy kid has had two really good games. So who knows what's going to happen? I think Vegas will come out flying in game six because their backs are to the wall. If they can force a game seven, that'll be awesome.

I think a game seven will be great. It'll be great. Jordan Stahl for Pete's sake. I know, five games in a row. Incredible. We mentioned after game. The list he's on, Nick, is incredible. Well, let me mention first, and I'd love to hear your list.

So we mentioned it. The list of guys who have scored a goal in five consecutive Stanley Cup final games. Give it to me. Well, I don't have it in front. I saw the list last night, but all the players prior to him were like decades ago. Okay, yeah. We mentioned after Game 4 that Jordan Stahl became the first player since Mike Bossy in 1982 to score. in four in the first four games of a cup series.

Now he has scored in the first five games of a cup series. And what they told me last night, I didn't have time to look it up. But he's the first player in 70 years now to score a goal in the first five games of a cup series. He's just been absolutely wonderful. He's got to be the oldest guy on that roster. I have, yes, I think he's like, what is he? 41? He's 37 or 38.

Yeah. All right. So here's the list. three of the players are all from the Montreal Canadians. Okay. And I'm not going to be able to pronounce that Rocket Richard is on this list from 1951. Sure. Cornier, Yvonne Corne.

Oh, sure. Yeah, absolutely. 1973 was the last time that a player had scored a goal in five consecutive. Stanley Cup final games. And there's only been five players that have scored five. The first one was in 1980. Oh. For the Vancouver millionaires.

Oh, yeah. His name was Cyclone Taylor. You're making this up. Yeah, that sounds like a random word generator. I am not. I saw this graphic last night during the game after Stahl had scored. And I'm looking at it again right now. Hilarious.

Nobody has ever scored a goal in six consecutive Stanley Cup final games. So Stahl has a chance in game six to own that. record outright. Here he is, Cyclone Taylor from the Vancouver Millionaire. He smokes Lucky Strike, kids. Cyclone Taylor, tell us about your cigarette smoking habits. Well, when I get out on the ice for the Vancouver Millionaires, I'd like to go out there with a good buzz.

Lucky Strike cigarettes, kids. It's where it's at. My dad smoked Lucky Strikes. Yeah. So did mine. And you know what's great about Jordan Stahl is when that some bitch grows a playoff beard, does he not look like the missing link? for Christ's sake.

I love his playoff beard look. He looks like he should have a club over one shoulder, you know what I mean? And he's created fire for the very first time. Here we go. So game six Sunday night in Nevada. Tatted Mama Sheez has texted in, Josh, about our weirdness this week,

about how you felt weird a couple days ago. Now you've spread it to me. she says it's brain fog and it's from the chem trails oh is that what it is i don't know what the hell is a chem trail that's what the government puts in the planes you know to control our minds oh oh really yeah the plane spit some kind of dust i'm not so sure on all the the conspiracy theory but it could be the kemp trails okay maybe that's what's bothering the two of us the chem trails government's trying to control our minds again see what they're i'm burned out on the government trying to control my mind.

Good luck with that. Right. I mean, everywhere I go, the government's trying to control my frigging mind. I'm just trying to live my life over here. Why do they want to control my mind, Josh? I don't know. Have you do things that they want you to run some errands? I don't know what they want. To do what they want me to do. Do lucky strike commercials from time to time.

Now, if you care, and I'm sure you don't, Tampa Bay Lightning wing Nikita Kutcheroff won his second Hart Trophy as the NHL's MVP. They handed them that trophy. Yesterday it was a very close race. The other two players right there with Kuthoroff were Oilers Center

Conrad McDavid and Abilanch Center Conrad McKinnon. Apparently this was the closest MVP race since 2001, then two. When Montreal goalie Jose Tejador, who played here

for the pigs for a stretch of time. Jose Tejador beat out the greatest goal scorer in wild history, Jerome McGinla. For the MVP, I told you you wouldn't care. And in 1999, 2000, it was a very close race for MVP between St. Louis defenseman Chris Pronger, who beat out Yarmir Yager, yager, however the hell you say his name. So this time around, it was a very close vote. So you go first place Kuturoff, followed by. McDavid and McKinnon.

Ryan Suter finished fourth in the voting. Oh, good for him. Sure, everybody in town is pleased with that. NBA final final game five tomorrow night, Randy. Tomorrow night. Yeah. This series has been

a little bit of everything. It's been wild. On the court and off, and it's been fun. The games have been decided by an average of four points. And they say here the average margin of victory in an NBA final, final final, is around 11 points. So it's been very, very close.

Yep. And it's added to the fun, of course. O.G. Ananobe. O.G. Ananoby. Will he ever have to buy another meal or a beer in New York City? Well, only if they win the whole thing. Yeah, they got to finish the job. I still think the guy.

gets a free beer. The job is not done. But I still say OG Ananoby doesn't have to buy a beer in New York City for the rest of his life. Yeah. Somebody text. It could end up being a very close series yet. You're right. Somebody text. Oh, sorry, go ahead. I was just going to say, I'm probably like a lot of people. I really want San Antonio to win game six. I don't want the Knicks to win this on the road. Oh. Because I want to see what it looks like at Madison Square Garden. If they can win the championship. at home. And I think a lot of New York fans would prefer that they were at home. Except for the police. The police

would prefer that. There will be no survivors. Yes. Josh, you were saying? Well, I got a text and this person wants to remain anonymous. They said they've been affected by these chem trails. The chem trails. And he just keeps writing, must kill the queen.

Must kill the queen. Ah. Don't let them get that third out. They told Frank Drebin when he was homeplayed umpire in that game between the Angels and the Mariners. With Reggie Jackson out there in right field. No one's suspected it was Reggie Jackson. That was programmed to kill the queen. Don't let him get that third out.

Pitcher throws a perfect strike right down the middle. Ball? Yeah, the police in New York City would rather the Knicks win this series on the road if in fact they win the series. Again, like Randy said, just because they're up 3-1 doesn't mean dick. But the police, the mayor, everyone in New York would rather they were in Texas. Because it will be horrible. It'd be a lot of fun, though.

From this distance, absolutely. From way over here in Minnesota. Yeah, that would be fun. Everybody in their mama has something to say about this year's NBA final final, and especially that punk Victor Wemba Yamba. Even former NFL running back Tiki Barber, a guy who played for the New York Giants, of course. So you can take a guess which club he has wood for in this series. He's got a radio show of some sort.

He's a radio guy now. Well, welcome to the business, kid. We'll show you the ropes. If he needs any advice, you can always send us an email. Maybe we'll get back to him, right, Josh? Tiki Barbara wants to... Depends on how busy we are. Depends on how busy we are.

Tiki was on some bad radio show, and he said he's a cocky ass, he said about Victor Wemba Yamba. He says, and when, you know, things come back to bite you, nobody feels sorry for you. He's a cocky ass. Wimby is. He really is. He is.

He's dual humility in his game. And the problem, just like Jeremy Shobie. Point to the scoreboard against the San Francisco 49ers in 2002 is that when it comes back to get you, nobody feels sorry for you. Everybody says you deserved it. Wembe, you deserve to miss two free throws at the end. You deserve to get punked and shoot two for 11, whatever it was in the fourth quarter. You deserved everything you got. Yeah.

You know, earlier in the playoff, Randy Shaver, Tiki Barber also called Joel M. Bede a bitch. He did. controversial in New York. Yeah. The only team to ever come back from a 3-1 deficit in the NBA finals to win. Cleveland Cavaliers. Yeah, LeBron. There's only a few years ago.

10 years ago. Oh, my God. Was it that long ago? Yeah, when they beat the 73-win Golden State Warriors. Oh, yeah. God, that was a fun series. And they won game 7 in Oracle Arena to win it. Who won that game for him?

Kyrie Irving. Yep, Kyrie was on that team. Future Timberwolf, Kyrie Irving, won them that series. Only one team, so San Antonio can join them if they were able to figure out a way. I hope it doesn't happen, but there you go. Local high school athlete Madden Greenway has been named the Max Prep's Female National Athlete of the Year. Yep. very much deserves it.

She's good to just vote everything. Yes, she is. She's phenomenal. She could go and run Division I, track and field and be a tremendous track and field participant. I mean, she's just soccer player. She's incredible, and obviously, she's just a fantastic basketball player.

It says here, Madden Greenway, who went to Providence or still goes to Providence, Cat. Or no, wait, school's out, so she's done. She won 13 state championships across three sports. Arguably, the greatest high school athlete in Minnesota history. Wouldn't go that far.

Well, who would you go with? Joe Maurer. Joe played a couple of sports, won a couple of... He played three sports. He was the Gatorade quarterback of the year. He was the number one pick in the baseball draft. Yeah, but this kid won 13 state

championships. Honey, I know that. I know that, Nick, but that's 13 13 championships in Minnesota. Relax. Wait a minute. First off, you just called me honey. I did. It's the chem trails. You got to relax. Wait a bit. I'm not relaxed. Yeah, I mean... I told you I'm high.

I mean, winning state championships in Minnesota is great, and it's nice, but it's not like being the number one overall pick in the MLB draft. It's not like being the national Gatorade quarterback of the year. Fair enough. I mean, Madden Greenway is a tremendous athlete. I'm not taking anything away from her. She's, if there was a list, to me, my list would have Maur and then her. That would be my list.

Okay. And then me third? No, Dana. Baby doll, you don't even make the top one. Oh, thank. Come on, baby. I'm sorry, sweetie. I have to be honest, when you called me, honey, it felt pretty good.

Well, good. I like that. Like you're checking out at a gas station and if there's an older lady behind the county. Have a good day, honey. I love that. 13 state championships for Madden Greenway basketball soccer track. She's the all-time leading score in the history of Minnesota basketball. third nationally, as far as scoring points playing high school basketball.

I had heard of the gal, of course. I did not know the list of accomplishments. This is mind-blowing. She's also first in state history as far as assists playing high school basketball. So first in points and assists. And that says a lot about her as a player. You're either one or the other. But rarely are you both.

And that's pretty impressive. Yeah, if I had that skill set, no chance I'm passing the ball. I'm filling up that box score points every night. 218 goals playing soccer. She has the single-season state record. She scored 62 goals playing soccer? That's insane. We're going to watch this.

Well, some of us will watch this dopey World Cup. I bet you there aren't 62 goals scored in the entire tournament. What else? Track and field. Two gold medals. Set a state record in the 300-meter-meter hurdles. Yep. Tremendous.

She was the anchor of the 4-400-meter-meter-meter relay. Set a state record there. Five straight state championships in basketball, two consecutive soccer championships, six state championships on the track. Yep. So she and Paige Beckers are two athletes. here from Minnesota who have been named the Max Preps female national athlete of the year.

And that award's only been around for 15 years or so. But you're still going to, you still say Joe Maurer. I would say Joe Maurer. All right. Just because of the things that he accomplished on a national scale. I mean, I'm not taking anything away from her. She has been playing since she was what? I think seventh grade.

Yep. In basketball and soccer, maybe even track. So she's like a six-year high school athlete. You know what would really make me happy, Randy Shaver, is next time you call me honey, add a bunny there at the end. Oh, honey, bunny. There you go. I got you.

Speaking of Joe Mauer, I found some just odd stories this morning because I was feeling so weird. I was going through the paper like it was 30 years ago. Josh, right? I was cutting articles out of the paper and using a highlight pen. Took me back. You'd have a, we'd sit here and have scissors, a pen, a highlight pen, and then tape, tape those cut-out articles onto regular paper. And I came up with some good stuff.

What's that? What's you got, baby doll? Speaking to Joe Mower. Joe Mauer is going to be inducted into the Irish American Baseball Hall of Fame. I'd never heard of the Irish American Baseball Hall of Fame. I never heard of that either. Okay. This is going to happen.

August 6th. at CHS Field where the Saints play. He's going to officially be inducted, August 6th, before a Saints game. The Irish American Baseball Hall of Fame. Now, this has been around. I guess I'm not exactly sure how long this has been around, but they say it's a virtual entity.

That means it's only online. Okay. The Irish American Baseball Hall of Fame is a virtual entity founded by a kid named Sean Clancy. Other members of the Irish American Baseball Hall of Fame are Wade Boggs, Sean Casey, Jim Palmer, Nolan Ryan, and Ichiro are all members of the Irish. He's also on that. And then speaking of track and field, we're talking about what's her name again, Greenway? Madden Greenway, yeah.

Her abilities on the track. Golden Gopher Jr. Angelos Manta Zurenis is my best. Hey, won the hammer throw. He got his first NCAA title yesterday, winning the men's hammer throw. Yes. In fact, I think there's three gophers that place to the top 15 at the NCAA. I wanted to throw that in there because I bet you this is the first time we've ever talked about the hammer throw. Yeah.

How far did you throw that pig? 75.78 meter meters. If that means anything to you. Congratulations, dude. The hammer throw. What else is going on? Oh. All-time superstar, all-time professional golfer.

They call him Phil Mickelson. He's been accused of inappropriate behavior with women, and he's been banned from a golf course in San Diego. No good. Does he have that type of reputation? I guess I've never heard anything like that. come on dude i don't know that's fig jam right fig jam oh he's a degenerate gambler we do know that we do yeah he's excuse me he's lost something like over a hundred million dollars gambling in his day

a fig jam which stands for f i'm good just ask me he's accused of making unwanted contact with a female employee at this golf course in san diego he was acting silly at the clubhouse. They called it non-consensual and inappropriate physical contact. So they told them to take a frigging walk. They said, okay, big shot, you're out of here. That's what I heard. Speaking of well-liked sports personalities, well, I like the guy,

nobody else seems to. Sean Payton, head coach of the Denver Broncos, a guy who could out-coach that O'Connor dude here in town with one nut tied behind his back. That sounds painful. Sean Payton, he's got a new deal with the doncos. a five-year deal. It's worth quite a few bucks. I'm not sure how many bucks. I don't care, but there you go.

Sean Payton, new five-year deal. Yeah, he deserves it. He went to the AFC title game. I love that guy. Tigers series ended in disaster yesterday. Hell, the boys were shut out by a final score of 11 to Dick. Yeah. The Tigers hit six dongs off Twins pitching yesterday.

No, so no real point in discussing this one in great detail. Things are unraveling. You think so? Yeah. What the hell is this now? Zebby Matthews. He gave up nine hits, including three home runs. That's bad.

Nine hits, seven runs. Three of those hits were rods. Can't get Mick Abel back fast enough for that rotation. Hopefully he can get back here soon. And up next to the St. Louis Cardinals are in town for a weekend series. A weekend series with the Cardinals. Yeah. Can I tell you that great Cardinals' twin story again that I heard years ago?

And I don't know if it's true. I heard it from a guy. I don't know the guy to be a liar at all, but it's just a story. So the very first game at Target Field was a preseason game against the St. Louis Cardinals. I don't know if any of you is remember it. Yep. I was bar gigging, actually, that day. Josh, right across the street.

from Target Field. I was at Hooters. Oh, boy. Those were the days. We had a pregame party at Hooters. Blocky. Those were the days. Word with Josh's old high school buddies running the show. Word up to the Marcell brothers, right, Josh? Yep. Awesome dude. Haven't seen them in a long time.

Been a while for me too. So the story was that after that very first ball game at Target Field, the preseason game against the Cardinals, a couple hours after the game ended, folks are drinking at God rest their soul. Liquor Liles. Liquor Lyle's, which is gone now. Yeah, I love Lickr Lyle's.

That's where my parents had their first date. God rest their souls. Liquor Lyle's is gone, so are my folks. Where am I going with this? So a couple hours after that game, people are drinking at Lickr Lyle's. This is a story that I was told. And there's a Cardinal fan who came into town to watch that game and he's at liquor

Lyles and he's had too many drinks and he says you friggin' Minnesota people don't know Jack Squad about baseball in the first place. The 87 World Series was a joke. Your team sucked. Guys start in trouble at the bar right? And the twins fans in the bar are going shove it up your ass. 87 was

a great world to. Kirby Puckett and Ken Herback all these guys were great. You're going to deny that that and the St. Louis guy says your team sucked. The Cardinals were the far better team. The only reason you won that friggin' series was because of that stupid dome. So there's this argument happening. And the St. Louis Cardinal guy says, matter of fact, I'll buy a drink for every swinging D at the bar if there's one of you in this bar who can tell me

the starting lineup for the twin. You guys know so little about baseball. You don't even remember the 87. If there's one of you that can name the starting lineup for the twins during that 87 World Series, I'll buy a drink for the whole bar. And the story I was told, Dan Gladden stood up at the bar and said, I'll take that bet. That's awesome. All right. Dana tells us that the United States men soccer team was invited to play in this tournament

that's going on right now. They sure were. How are they doing so far? They play tonight at 8 o'clock. Randy, did you hear that? I'm watching the paint dry in my bedroom tonight. Oh, man. Still going to those old jokes, huh?

Those got stale in 1996, Randy. I think he's serious. It still worked for me, Randy. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to watch the page. Did you, like, when you were 12, did you get beat up by a bunch of adult soccer players or something? Because your disdain for the sport is almost comical. I never knew any adult soccer players that could beat up a 12-year-old to be totally honest.

To be honest with you, I never saw a soccer ball ever in my life growing up. Yeah, I suppose. Never even saw one. Didn't exist. So, Dana, you're telling us that the U.S. team is, uh, there are. they haven't lost yet. No, we're undefeated so far. They haven't won.

Who are we playing? Paraguay. Who's that? Paraguay, are they any good, Josh? Not really, no. They're not good. Where is Paraguay located? Well, see, I have a rough idea where Paraguay is because of my fascination with that movie.

Oh, yeah. And with that rugby team that went down in the airplane and they had to eat each other to survive. So I have a rough idea where Paraguay is. Because that's where they were from. Yeah. I thought they Urigue or Paraguay? Ah, see, I thought it was... Go ahead, look it up.

I can't remember. Uruguay, Paraguay. It was one of them. Donald de Buechwee? I don't know. Uruguay. They were Uruguayan. Yeah.

The Society of the Snow. I'm going to push this on you again. Yes. Ethan Hawk made a movie in 1993 called alive and that's a good movie. It's good. Oh, it's a great movie. I don't think it's great. It's good. It's great. In comparison to, there's a new version of the story of this rugby team that went down in the

Andes Mountains. It's called the Society of the Snow. And it's much more true to form to what really happened. And it's dark and it's awful and it's incredible. I push it on you again. The Ethan Hawk thing was cute and everything. This is the real friggin' movie. You'll cry your eyes out. USA Paraguay tonight, Randy, 8 o'clock. Yep. He's on his way to Sherwin Williams right now. Yeah. I've got my pink hands out. Gonna watch it dry real good. You never saw a soccer ball, huh? No. Growing up. I'm going to watch it dry real good. You never saw a soccer ball, huh? No, growing up, never even heard of the game.

That's funny. Wow. Is that true? Yeah, that's true. Really? We played dodge ball. We played baseball. We played wiffle ball.

Oh, is this true? Hollinger Wood, Jesus said they had them back in the day, Randy, when you were younger, but they were just called boulders. No wonder I kept breaking my toes. Did you play kick? We played a lot of kickball. Kickball. Never saw a soccer ball. Never saw a soccer ball.

Kickball obviously didn't get as popular as pickleball, but that picked up some speed for a little while, didn't it? Oh, that was so dumb. Adult kickball? Adult kickball. All the leagues they had? That was so dumb. A friend called me once to say,

hey, we need you to fill in. We need a fill in for our kickball team, and I just hung up the phone. I'm not doing that. You want to know why you hung up the phone? Because you're not eight. There's no reason to be playing kickball if you're older than eight. You got a bunch of beers?

We'll have a cooler of beer? Yeah, I got a fridge full of beer right here at home. Plenty of a beer sitting right in front of me. And I've got to go out and sweat my ass off with a bunch of 30-year-olds playing kickball. I'd be so afraid of striking out. There's no way I'd play as well. You and Charlie Brown the hell out of that thing, Josh. I'd be landing on my back.

Just a cloud of dust. Oh, man. I'll see about the hammer throw. I've done it, but never on purpose. That's why my dad never let me help him build a deck. Don't you frigging dare, Josh, strike out playing kickball. That's why I won't play. Not while I'm hanging around.

I'm not going to put myself in that position. Do you remember when we played that charity softball tournament all those years ago in White Bear Lake, Randy Shaver? Yeah, that was fun. That was a lot of fun. Josh got up to the plate, and he swung and missed once, and he swung and missed twice, and he swung and missed three times. No, I got on base.

And he turned to the umpire, and he said, can I get one more, please? That's not true. Oh, yeah. You swung and missed like seven or eight times. No, I didn't. I got a base. I got a base hit. It was on the third pitch.

I got pictures. I'm going to show you a picture. I think I'm lying. Me standing on first. That's as far as I got. You have a picture of you standing on first base? I didn't even get that far at prom. Now, if you're wondering which fan base is prepared to full-on getter at this World Cup soccer tournament.

It says here multiple flights transporting Scottish soccer fans to the World Cup have run out of beer on the way. I saw those. The tournament's in Minnesota. The tournament's solely taking place in the United States? No, in Canada and Mexico as well. Oh, oh. I thought it was just here.

Okay. The majority of the matches are in the U.S., but there's a few matches in Mexico and Canada as well. So a bunch of airplanes have come this way from Scotland. Scottish folks, they're dialed into this for some reason, and they've run out of beer on the way. Someone who works for Delta Airlines said it was like having Wade Boggs and Andre the Giant on the same airplane rider.

So there you go. I do have one pal of mine who is Mr. USA. He doesn't care of the event. He doesn't care of the sport. When it comes time for international tournaments like this, the Olympics, hockey, baseball. watches that baseball where, what are they called it? The World Baseball. Yeah, the World Baseball. If it's USA Athletics,

he is gung-ho, head-toe, Uncle Sam, dork out. You've never, so he and I'll be cooking chicken tonight over at the Legion in Wysetta, and we usually wrap up our duties around 8 p.m. So he is stoked for as soon as we get out the kitchen, he's going to demand every television. Put on Fox! Put on Fox! Put on Fox! He's going to be climbing. the frigging walls, and he wouldn't know a soccer ball if you were choking him with him. You know what I mean? He doesn't know anything about soccer, but he is going to be... I dig that.

I know I have a couple friends like that, too. Yes. All of a sudden, there's Mr. Olympics all of a sudden and updated me on the medal count. I'm like, that's great, man. I really don't care. Captain America. That's my guy, Dougie. He knows what I'm talking about.

I like Dougie style. So, oh, oh, a listener texted in. Don't miss this weekend, Randy. Shabber because I know you'll be busy watching soccer, but also the UFL championship game is this weekend. Oh, exciting. That'll be my second coat. I'll be watching my second coat dry.

It's St. Louisville, Louisville, Kentucky, maybe. Oh, boy. Someone can tell me. Sounds exciting. Yeah, I think it's St. Louis and Louisville. I think I'd rather go to mini-camp. Oh, and cover the Vikings. Oh, those are so miserable, Randy.

Nobody wants to be there. The players don't want to be there. The media didn't want to be there. No, no. Well, maybe if someone would have rolled a soccer ball your way when you were growing up. I wouldn't know what to do with it. I wonder if it's still that way. I wonder, Josh, if we took a car ride down to Cedar Rapids out to a playground

full of kids and rolled them a soccer ball. I wonder if they just run away from it. Wouldn't know what to do? Probably. Maybe they still don't know what to do. do with it. A lot of little kids play it nowadays. All right. We've got to get going, Randy Schaever. We'll let you go a little early. It's Friday. It's our F-off

day. We're feeling kind of weird. Have yourself a terrific weekend. Yep, you too. Thank you very much. We'll chat on Monday. We will. Ah, air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on to Habs podcasters?

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Years of hard work, and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bielke. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialke Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Square up. You know, what's going on, man? It's Andre Berto. Two-time world champion. You know, I fought. I loved it. I really wanted to do that sit down from a fighter's

perspective. My G. What's going on? Caleb Klutz. What's going on? Now you got a chance to really draw in your audience to let them see who you are. I'd have a lot of internal talks to say, do I even want to carry on? Spiders, we know what time it is. I think the time is now. Square up. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Let's go. The 93x half-assed morning show. Before we go any further, Josh, do you want to discuss this video that we watched yesterday?

Oh, I'm glad you remembered. Absolutely. God dang. I mean, I didn't know how to feel about I was laughing my ass off. But my goodness, that could have went worse. You want to see a video. You want to see, I guess, an example of someone you don't want to be. You should feel grateful that you are not this individual. Yesterday after we got off the air, Josh is sitting over in his corner of the room. and I was just fingering around here by myself trying to ready myself for today's show.

I was doing a little show prep. And suddenly I heard Josh just go, oh, God, oh. And I said, well, what's going on over there? Are you okay? I thought you had hurt yourself, but you were watching this video. And Ashley could tell us here in a minute

if it's up on our website. Some poor bastard construction worker fell smooth through the roof of a building and full on with all of his weight full on landed squarely on his nuts

I think I saw one of them bounce into the air yeah that is up on 93x.com did you watch it as you? Yeah that's it's bad I do appreciate that they threw a distressing content warning on it this effing guy there's no way how did how is he not dead

Well, and that's exactly what they said when they posted that video. 20 feet, they estimate he fell through the roof of a building. He's doing, what was he, some scaffolding project. Yeah, he's moving some stuff around up on some scaffolding. Did you just see it, Dana? Yeah, my goodness. Yeah, it doesn't get worse than that. Oh, the slow motion.

Dude, this. The slow motion is too fast. And I know some of you might be saying, oh, you know, these videos where someone falls down, they're a dime a dozen. You got it. to see this one. This appears to be a liquor warehouse to me, Josh. Maybe I'm wrong.

It doesn't really matter. Massive warehouse. Dudes up on the roof doing some scaffolding type. He falls 20 feet through the roof and he landed Dick first on the handlebars of a pallet jack. It saved his life

I think. Probably. Well, you know, some people thought that. That somehow it slowed him down and off. His testicles saved him. Because yeah, if he would have fell, just like straight on his head or something, that wouldn't have been a good ending. He probably would have been dead on that hard warehouse floor. You're right.

I didn't think of it that way. And I know plenty of you is listening right now. Our warehouse type of workers, you know a pallet jack. I used to work with a pallet jack years ago at a wear. He won't be jacking for a while after that. If he wants kids, I hope he already has them. All the momentum that a human body builds when falling 20 feet. I don't know how many miles per hour.

he was going after that 20 footfall. It looked faster than most people. It did. It almost looked like he was thrown downwards. That's how much speed he had gathered up. All of that momentum, squarely, to the penis and testicles on the handlebars of a damn pallet jack. Medical device, Jesus said he worked with a guy.

The same type of thing happened to him. The guy's nuts didn't make it, but the guy did make it. I mean, if you haven't seen the video, it's really. worth your time, I think, to check this out. It's incredible. I don't think I've ever heard you react the way you did to watching that video. Well, I saw the headline and I didn't, you know, you've seen a lot of those videos where people fall, but I wasn't expecting the speed and then the seeds. I mean, that poor gentleman. James is his name. He was only 26. How did you get the speed above the seeds? How did he not, like, just get cut in half with how hard he fell? He must have

some iron pills. Yeah. What's left of them? We don't know what's going to come of James. We don't. He was squirming in agony when it was over. I mean, I can't even guess what that must have felt like. I can't even guess how badly the wind must have been knocked out of him from the impact.

He broke a couple bones. Oh, yeah, we do know what happened. What happened? I was a leg and an arm, right? If I remember right, he broke it a leg in an arm. Okay, okay. Yes, you're right. I missed that information.

He just stepped through a hole. He didn't see. He was carrying stuff, didn't notice it. And so it's the equivalent of OSHA that posted this video. The company's in some serious trouble for, they didn't take enough safety precautions, they said. And this guy's nuts paid the price. Smokes your mom's pot, Jesus. So I've fallen on a pallet jack directly on my gooch.

from two and a half feet. And I couldn't walk for days. This effing guy. Uh. Yeah. You're right. There are companies being fined over this. Those two workers who ran to his side,

um, you can tell by their body language that they are very concerned with James. You can tell the way they're running up kind of with some hesitancy. Yeah. because they don't want to see what they think they're about to see. It's okay, guys. I'm a little hurt. Oh.

Dude. What did do, Jesus texted in and said, dude came down like he was trying a flying scissor kick. Yes. Yes. People are texting in the same reaction I had, a bunch of, oh, my gods. I mean, it's like if I was drinking something, I would have spit it everywhere. I can't believe how violent that one.

check that out on our website. Oh, wow. I've never seen anything like that in person. I would like to. I've seen some folks get mangled. I don't know if I've ever seen anything like that in person. Here's another one simply says, good lord. Yeah, exactly.

That's the only response you need right there. Oh, for Pete's sake. All right. Josh, do you like a good funny t-shirt, a good attitude shirt? Do you like a... Yeah. I mean, some of them can be kind of a... I had one in my life.

What did you have? I'm kind of... I wore it once and I felt so stupid. I don't even... Josh? What is it? We're talking attitude t-shirts. We're talking funny stuff.

You see them at the bar. Oh, boy, you laugh. Up and down. What was the funny attitude t-shirt that you had? I'm embarrassed. Did it say porn star? Did it say, I'm big in Japan? No.

It was a... It was a gift, and it was a silhouette of a pole dancer. Yes. And it said, I support single moms. I wore it once, and I thought, I'm not the guy. Yeah, that's not your personality, Josh. Who thought that was a T-shirt you would wear? I was given sarcastically, and then he just kept saying, dude, you got to wear it.

I support single moms. My husband had one when he was in high school that he's told me about because I just, I'm like, you were such a douchebag for the. It said, save water, shower together. Oh, yeah. I hate you. You disgust me. I don't see those as much anymore. No, they were.

Like the Big Johnson shirts were real popular back in the day. Yeah, that used to be, that was, you guys know Sadie Hawkins or the girl asked the guy? Yep. That was like the whole gimmick that they did. Did you never go, Josh? No, you had to be asked by the girl. The gimmick at your school was what? So you would wear like those attitude shirts.

Like you'd have matching attitude shirts. There were. Two separate eras for this. In the mid to late 80s, there was the Big Johnson gimmick. Oh, God. Some of those were foul. A buddy of mine had one that was really dirty. And then into the late 90s, it went a little further.

It got a little more risky with what you would wear on your t-shirt. Things like what Josh said, the stripper silhouette. Did you see, you've seen the bar one? Bar? Yeah. My friend had the bar one. bar themed and it said liquor in the front poker in the rear right right i think there's hilariously enough i think my my dad went to a bar 30 years ago and they gave him a bumper

sticker that said exactly that yes he didn't put it on his vehicle because the man had some class uh here's what's going on with the funny t-shirts this is apparently a gimmick that people are playing with each other uh when friends go on vacations together they put together this little game where let's say the four of us are going summers we all show up at the airport and we all get a gift for each other and that gift is a attitude t-shirt one of these supposedly funny risky t-shirts and you have to wear it so i give one to cubby that's wildly embarrassing but he has to wear it in the airport he has to wear it during the airplane ride to wherever the hell we're going this is the game that some people are playing and of course they put their videos up on social media and everyone laughs their balls off. Some of these t-shirts I can read, some of them I cannot. Go ahead. What was that job?

I'm being reminded. People are taxing in one that the first time I saw that I thought it was pretty fun. I still think it's pretty fun. What is it? The one, don't bully me, I'll orgasm. I don't know if I could say it in that context. Essentially, don't bully me, I'll orgasm. But it says something dirtier. I'll arrive. All right, so here are, I guess, some of the t-shirts that people are handing to each other and forcing them to wear in this little friend airport airplane ride game. I can't even say some of this stuff. It's so frigging dumb.

Can I say the first one then? Yes. I'm excited. It's so stupid. Yay. I turn hot dogs into hot logs. I'm not excited. That is so friggin' stupid

That is so dumb But that's why it's so funny Do you imagine having to wear that? I mean, it better be a game If you're wearing that t-shirt You guys are You're giving middle school vibes Like the little giggles

I know it's adorable If you're a grown person If a grown person wears that t-shirt And it's not a game Then I think you should be put in an asylum You can fight them For thinking that is funny you should be put into a treatment center.

Another t-shirt that these people have been playing jokes on each other with. Josh, it's called the minivan. Oh, yeah, sure. Her dad. Two in the front, five in the back. So gross. Ow. Yeah, this doesn't sound pleasurable at all.

When I'm not eating a... I'm eating a Chili's. And it's a Chili's logo. I don't even think that was very funny. Chili's is just like, it's like one of those social media things, except it instead of being like a nickel back Arby's situation where people just cast unnecessary hate on it. It's like everybody is like, Chili's is my place.

Like that's where I go for fancy, romantic dinners. I'm so different and edgy. So I don't know this. You're saying that Chili's has become like an internet thing. Yeah. And it's funny because it happened at the same time that Dana told us about his Chili's stuff. And I was like, that's, that's Dana's place. That's where you go and you want to do some dumping.

And I don't mean that as in pooping. They do have a relationship. They do have nice bathrooms. They do, actually. Want to hear this next attitude shirt that people are messing around with. Simply on the front of it, it says, toilet clogging champion. I know someone that I could give that to. Biggest micro penis in the world.

And again, there are some that I can't even read. I'm not even going to try. Dude, okay, and then we've got to take a break. Come on. Boarding planes and leaving stains. So stupid. I don't even get it. I don't either.

Are you crapping your pants? Yeah, are you doing that on an airplane? Ask me about my IBS, proud member of the genital warts support group. Ask me about my IBS. People with IBS do like to talk about it. I've noticed that too, Ashley. I don't think I would bring it up very. often if I suffered from it.

Dude, literally never. Somebody in my life has IBS and I hear about it daily. Like, why are you messy me for this? I guess I can't comment on how frequent it is that somebody with IBS talks about it. But I did meet a neighbor and that's the first thing she told me once. Yeah, we got a buddy. We call them Ibs. I didn't even know what it was.

So she taught me a lot. I wish I could remember all of these shirts when they were all over town 20 years ago. I wish I could remember all of them. but I can't. I'm going to guess the one that you didn't want to read was this is the only shirt, that one? Well, yeah, that's one of them that I'm a little afraid of. I mean, if you think you can meander your way around it, go ahead.

Well, I mean, yeah, this is the only shirt I had without any finish on it. Seamen, whatever, yeah. Come on, that's gross. Save a fuse, blow an electrician. There was one that had an arrow pointing up and an arrow pointing down that said two-seater. It's a two-seater. Yeah.

What I got going here is a two-seater. I don't have the courage, but man, that's funny. I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look. People were texting in the federal body inspector or a female body inspector. Oh, that's a classic. Oh, that's a classic. Well, I know what you mean, Ashley, but on Cobra Kai, do you remember when. Yes.

Johnny wore that. Was he with his son? They both wore those. That took me back to middle school. What was Johnny wearing? He had that female body inspector t-shirt on. They both did. Oh, the female body inspector.

Yeah. And he just thought it was a coolest shirt he'd ever seen in his life. Yeah, it's 2024 or whatever that came out. Yeah, I thought it was awesome. God, I love Johnny Lawrence. What do you make of this? A listener suggests that maybe we have a dumb attitude t-shirt contest on our Independence Day booze crews. Yeah.

I responded by saying, oh, hell no, and then I thought, okay, maybe. Yeah, we got to. That would be fun. I've got some. You have some? Oh, yeah. I have a problem letting go of clothes. Oh.

So, yeah, I have some stuff. Oh, I'll definitely fit into an Ashley T-shirt from high school. What do you have? Yeah, absolutely. It wasn't like I was like 120 pounds. Do you want to give it away, or do you want to save it for the event? I'm not sure exactly what they say. I know there's actually, there's a good one.

I like this. Josh, are we going to have a contest? We got to, right? So what do you got, Ashley? I have like a, it's actually like a bro tank. One of you guys could wear it, and it has a little alpaca on it, and it says, Alpaca bowl of weed. So we won't be having the contest.

That just sealed the deal. There's not going to be an attitude t-shirt content. Now I kind of want to shop for an attitude. Yeah, let's all swing through a hot topic. Do you those still exist? Yeah. Or Spencer's. Spencer's is good, too.

Both of them. What do you make of this one? Born to sh. Forced to wipe. A lot of people have been texting that. Is that a reference to something? I have no idea. Nobody says you have to.

We would just appreciate if you did. Maybe it's a reference like they take such sloppy deuses that they have to wipe. Lobsters on your piano are better than crabs on your organ. Mount and do me. These are attitudes. That's one for Josh. You love Mone Do. Maybe I do.

Maybe that's the one I should get. Don't laugh. This is your girlfriend's shirt. We have enough time to go on Amazon and get like really good ones too. I look at best attitude t-shirt. A contest might be fun. I just, I can't promise that I'm not going to lose my temper. Oh, the girl attitude shirts are so stupid.

Like I could be meaner I bite Like this is so lame I want dirty jokes I bet you can find some dirty ones So apparently I have an attitude Like what What is

Someone is telling us that the Born to Forced to wipe Has something to do with The bidet craze Okay I was wondering if there was Something to do with that maybe What did you find Josh

You said you were looking some of I found maybe I'll do something patriotic with an attitude shirt. I did have one. I wore this one out. It was a Fourth of July shirt that said back-to-back world champs, you know, USA. Back-to-war champs. World War champs, yeah. There's one here that says suck at England.

George Washington on it. See, that strikes me funny. All these dick and poop jokes, you know, wearing it on your t-shirt. I don't get that approach to life. All right. What about this one, though? Something like Suckett, England, that sounds like fun. I think that's one I'm going to buy.

A clean beaver always gets more wood. Stop that. That's good. That's good. I like that one. I'm going to put this in my cart. Yeah. I'm willing to sacrifice my blood pressure and my cardiac, how do you call it, Josh?

What's the fancy word for a heart? My cardiac health. I am willing to sacrifice my blood. blood pressure and cardiac health for a terrible attitude t-shirt contest on our Independence Day booze crews if the rest of you just want to do it. Yeah, let's do it. That sounds like a lot of fun. All right. You guys, Dana and Ashley, you got to make a new promo then.

You got to cut a promo. Deal. Pushing this on our listeners so they know if they buy a ticket. Or else. For the bigger boat, right? Give us the word on this situation again, Josh, before we go. Oh, God, it's already nine after one after nine. Oh, whatever.

So we had a boat, right? Yeah, but I want to go home. Yeah. That boat sold out. The boat sold out. And thank you for everyone who purchased tickets to that. Sold out. So it's the first time we've ever had to do this.

They got a bigger boat. This is not a Jaws joke. It's true. They doubled the boat size. So now if you missed out, no worries at all, you can go to 93X.com and get your tickets. That's awesome. Yeah, that's great.

It was good news because, you know, as excited as we were that, hey, people actually want to do this. That's awesome. We were also bummed for those that didn't get a chance. And of course I had buddies texting me yesterday. Hey, you know, I tried to buy tickets and it's sold out. So I got to tell them, great.

Open up your wallet. You can buy some tickets. Morning Wood Campground. It's a fictional campground. Are you ready for this? Morning Wood Campground. Come pitch a tent. This is fun.

Hall ass cut grass Jesus. He has one that says, I'm the Rim Reaper. Want to find out? Oh. The rim reaper. Almost not a peon, Jesus said he would like to wish what he described as his big-chested wife. Happy birthday. Hell yeah.

Have a great big-boobbed birthday. Happy birthday to grass janitor Jesus and one more time selfishly if I could. You got another one? Yes. The British blew a 13 colony lead. Okay, that's what I got to look for. You want your patriotic attitude, T-shirt. It's way better than a gentleman.

joke about a boner or a rim job for Pete's sake. I love those jokes, just not on a t-shirt. So, Josh, there you go. I give you something to shop for. All right, yeah, that's the one I want. I want that one. Tomorrow, in Apple Valley, if you're there or wherever you are, love it if you join me along with Homestead Steaks, 11 to 1. Again, the Apple Valley Menards, half-price barbecue, family packs, and 20 rib-eyes for only $40 while we're there. So if you're nice enough to come by, be nice to meet you. a great weekend. 93X.

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