93X Half-Assed Morning Show - Way Coul Junior

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

Originally Aired August 5, 2026: Little bit of this, little bit of that. When parrots attack. Everything you wanna know about the fart that ended Spiderman.  Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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And then that theme song hit. Ain't that a bitch? Man, I was almost, I had almost fallen completely unconscious, and then I got slapped back to life by that theme song. Yeah, I can go back to sleep. Stayed up too late. Nobody said it was going to be easy, did they, Cubby? Nope.

Welcome to the 93X half-ass morning show. You had a late night last night? Yeah, I watched. I think it's called World. Landman. No, no, I love Landman, not back. I did watch Linus, though, by the way. Another Taylor Sheridan Shell.

The story of the kid from Charlie Brown's neighborhood? Bingo. Really? That's Linus. What did you say? Lioness. Lioness. I kind of like that.

Oh, I thought you had said Linus, like the kid, didn't he have a blanket or he was covered in dirt? It doesn't matter. Lioness. Yes. Go ahead with that. Well, that was an aside. You brought up a Taylor Sheridan show. So, yeah, watch that.

Excellent. Big fan. You've been staying up late a lot these days. Well, it's when we can sneak our TV in, you know, my wife and I. So we watched the show. I think it's called World's Worst Neighbors on Netflix. and we watched the first episode of it, and I'm going to say this lady qualifies.

So if the rest of the series is anything like this, I'll be staying up late for a while. Well, tell us about this lady. Well, I don't want to give too much away. Tell you about that lady. Oh, nice song. Right, winger. Big fan.

Right. Basically, it's a woman that's known to this family. She kind of grew up with this family. They live in an area where you probably heard something like this before where a lot of family live the same family, right? So the born family might have several properties within a two-black radius. I watched it. I know this program already.

Oh, so you did watch that? The lady that got naked out front? Yes. And she did some terrible things? Yes. All right? It's nuts, right? My wife and I recently watched that program.

I don't know, maybe three weeks ago or something. I have vague memories. But yes, this lady was just a complete maniac. And she's super-pillar. paranoid. Wagging her bush around the neighborhood. That's terrible. She's a bush waggon.

That's terrible. I wasn't expecting that, but that kind of cracked me up. Didn't it, did it not end in a horrible murder? Yeah, it was terrible. It was a horrible murder, yes. Terrible what happened. Sure. The show, again, is called World's Worst.

World's Worst neighbor, I think, or worst neighbor ever. I can't remember. It's something like that. All right, that's fun. I mean, it's terrible, terrible that people would have to go through. such a thing years and years and years of battling with a neighbor and finally it comes to a bloody conclusion where everyone shoots each other to death horrible but if you're sitting at home with the wife trying to squeeze in some quality TV programming uh you could have done a lot worse yeah

you know it's it's one of those things where this lady would complain all the time to the and i don't know how the cops didn't just lock her up but she would complain that hey nobody's doing anything for me about these little minor things that are going on in the neighborhood that she thinks are kind of a big deal she was out of her gore. A little kid would run through her yard and she would call the cops and say they're terrorizing me these children she was out of her effing mind. The worst thing that happened is she did get into a fight with the other person right and it sounds like it wasn't really that big of a deal but she really wanted to punish this person basically because their relationship fizzled these two women

meaning just a friendship. So she starts to think that everybody's out to get her. Deep, deep paranoia, deep mental illness. Because of the job that the husband has. She thinks that this other lady's husband has a job that everybody's out to get her. And she's always saying, I'm in so much danger. They're going to kill me. And then she obviously is the one that ends up being the biggest danger. That was a good one.

So that's what kept you up so late. Yeah. Crazy. I've been watching something that came out on Netflix not too long ago. And it's been keeping me up late too. It's the bombing of Pan Am 103. Jesus, is this like some kind of a thing? Is this like a This Is Your Life?

Because I just watched that some bitch a little bit. Oh, seriously? Yeah, yeah. It's really good. I loved it. I mean, it's sad, obviously, but it's really good. I watched the beginning. It helps that it has the shoot, the guy from suits in it.

Which one? I don't know. All of them are gorgeous. I can't think, like the criminal guy turned a lawyer. I watched a little bit of that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the young guy? Yes. Maybe episode one.

I'm positive. I won't go any further with it, but it's just interesting that both of you. Yeah, weird. It's pretty rare that you guys can talk about any kind of television program, and I'm the first swinging D to raise his hand and say, oh, I've seen that. It's your wife. She's getting you into some of these shows. Well, yes, she and I collectively decided to watch that bad neighbor's show.

The Pan Am flight from hell, whatever. I just happened to be in the room as my wife watched episode one. Like I said, I'm sure that'll be the end of it for me. Okay, I got another one. You know, there's so much to choose from now. You'll go ahead and, yeah, you'll forego sleep for a lot of this stuff. This one's crazy. And I usually don't even like these kind of shows.

We got into Dateline, so I guess that's pretty similar. A toxic love story. You watch that also on Netflix. No, I've seen it on there, but I haven't watched it. I can't remember what, obviously, it's a toxic love story, but I can't remember what the preview showed. How did you decipher that? I'm not really sure how it went down. It's actually in the title. I missed that one, Josh. I missed that one. That is going to remind you of a former coworker or somebody that worked in this building. That's nuts. And it keeps getting crazier and crazier. Again,

it's called toxic love store, a toxic love store and Netflix. Yeah, you know, we enjoy. July when it was so stinking hot, and you guys know that I was kind of dealing with a health issue for a while there in July. So I wasn't doing Dick Tracy. We did watch a couple of shows. We did get around to a couple of those programs. Well, there you go. I'm sorry that the both of the years are lacking sleep, but it sounds like you were well entertained. And I knew it too.

I knew like, why are we starting a show at 10? But it was the preview looked pretty good. shoot, where'd this go? And Josh is thinking, well, I suppose I'll be asleep by midnight, which is fine because I get up at 1.30 in the morning, you know. No Hawk Welder Jesus says of The Worst Neighbor Show, the second episode, it'll part your hair. Well, I got to get to that. Maybe we can get to that tonight.

I might have watched, see, again, like I said, I was kind of laying around the house doing nothing for a smooth month. I remember the episode about the bushwagging. lady who ended up killing everyone in town. So out of nowhere. But I don't remember if I saw any others. Ask the guy to give you a little more info on that second episode. Because maybe I...

Yeah, I'm trying to see if I can look it up. I don't remember. I pulled up Netflix here. Let me ask you something. It's called Midwest Meltdown. I don't know. After a quiet Indiana suburb is rocked by a massive explosion, they question the motives of a neighbor.

Does that sound right? Doesn't sound familiar. I think I saw one where there were Canadians involved. Let me ask you this now, because I've been wondering something. And maybe this is the liquor talking. Switching gears from television, if you don't mind. Are the Rolling Stones coming to town sometime soon?

A legendary English rock band, The Rolling Stones. Or as some folks call them, the Rolling Stones. Some of them put the emphasis on the rolling. Is that a fever dream that I had, or are the Rolling Stones? coming to time. I'll look it up. I'm not seeing it yet, but they got no date scheduled right now. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't see that they're on tour. All right.

That must have been just like I mentioned, the liquor talking. I know some folks also who put that emphasis on the motley when they talk about Motley crew. Instead of just saying Motley crew, they called the band Motley Crew. Are you following how that work? So I was just dreaming that, I guess. The reason I was wondering about the rolling. Stones. Loudwire. You ever hang out there, Josh? Loudwire. All the time. Yeah? What kind of things

do you look at on Loudmire? Well, it's all the, they write about all the bands I love. Oh. So they, you know, they'll have articles about tours and whatnot. Yeah, not just tours, but just what's going on with certain bands. And sometimes they just kind of have some goofy stuff on there. That ultimate classic rock is another really good one. That one sounds familiar as well. I mean, well, we enjoy talking about rock and roll music on this year program. We really do. Loudwire recently piled up a list of the longest running rock and metal bands. And these are supposedly groups who have been together for more than 40 years and have never broken up or even gone on hiatus, which is amazing to think. 40 years or more, you never officially broke up or went on any kind of

long break. And they start with the Rolling Stones, formed in 19 and 62. A lot of folks would never guess this, but, again, this is Loudwire. Don't attack me if my information is a little squirrely. I think we can trust these people. That's what they do for a living, that they write about rock, hard rock, thrash metal, everything. But a lot of these wouldn't guess this. The second longest running band listed here, again, 40 years or more, never broke up, never went on hiatus.

Behind the Rolling Stones, forming in 1965, the Scorpions. A lot of folks forget that they started in the friggin' middle of the 60s, and yet really didn't gain any serious steam, unfortunately. They stuck to it. Josh, what would you? 7980 is probably when the scorpions finally kind of gathered themselves and grabbed the attention of the general public. I like that kind of stuff. That's incredible to me. Because sometimes you'll hear of bands where you're like, oh, this new band, so-and-so.

Like, well, no, they've actually been around for about 15 years, but nobody cared until now. ZZ-Top, 1969. No, they're done. No, they're not done yet, are they? No. I thought they toured last year. Yeah, they're not done yet. Cheap Trick, 1973, and they still come to town, it seems to me, like every four or five months.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, if there's somebody grilling ribs somewhere, it seems like they're going to show up. Any rib fast or any, like, outdoors festival I've been to in the last 10 years. Seems like there's a good chance, cheap trick will be there. ACDC, 1973. Kiss, 1973. But now, I mean, they've officially retired now, haven't they? I thought they did their big fair.

With Kiss, you never know. But I thought that they, I hope that it's over. Iron Maiden, 1975, Def Leopard, 1976. U2, 1976. Metallica, 81. And again, these are bands who have been together 40 or more years, never broke up, never went on hiatus, according to Loudwire. Where did I leave off?

Metallic. Okay, Red Hot Chili Peckers, 1982. which, I mean, I remember the first time I saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers on television. And it was the same television show where I first saw the aforementioned Motley crew. And Josh, you might have been too young for this. Do you remember I brought this up to Tommy Lee when we interviewed Tommy Lee in studio? And he remembered the television show, which is shocking that any member of Motley crew would remember things after what they've done to themselves. Do you remember I brought this up to Tommy Lee, and at least he pretended like he knew what I was talking about.

There was this short-lived game show on television in the early 80s where they had contestants answering music trivia questions, and every once in a while the correct answer would suddenly appear on stage. Do you follow what I'm saying? So it's a cool bit. So it'll be like, this English band broke out in 1962 with their hit single Brown Sugar. And whatever, I mean, not that that's accurate, but I'm just trying to give it a big. and then the guy would hit the buzzer and go, The Rolling Stones, and the host would say,

that's right, and here they are. And they would perform. I thought it was a really cool gimmick. Tommy seemed to remember the name of the show. I can't think of it now. But the first time I saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers, it was like, this act is currently touring in Southern California with their hit single, this or that,

and the person said, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and they said, you're correct, here they are. And they came out, and that was back when Flea, I believe he had a pair of pants made out of stuffed animals or something like that. That sounds so sweet. And they played the song, Catholic, P-B-Patholic, schoolgirls, Ruel. They were so popular in my high school. Chili Peppers.

I'd say they might have been the most popular band in my high school for a while. Can anyone text in the name of that television show? Early 80s help me out. Okay, we're rolling through these bands who have been together for 40 years, never retired, never want to. Now, here's one. I have a bone to pick with this. The Bon Jovi's? Yes, they formed in 1983,

but they never broke up or went on hiatus. Well, maybe just Bon Jovi himself went on some tours. I wonder if they're throwing that in there? I mean, certainly some of these bands had lineup changes. I thought they truly hated each other for a while in Bon Jovi and couldn't come within 10 miles of each other. That's what I remember, but I'm not going to lose any. Poison, 1983.

Here's another one that I question. 1985, Gungs and Roses. They never broke up or went on hiatus. Jesus, they went years without making a record. It kind of seems that way. Yeah, it seems like they must have disappeared for a while. Well, they definitely disappeared, but they haven't been touring that whole time. I question that one.

And then they also throw in an honorary shout-out to Rush. Yeah, shoot, they started in the 60s. And Rush always deserves a shout-out, formed in 19. and 68, retired in 20 and 15, which made them temporarily inactive, but they're back touring again, following the loss of Neil Pert in the year 20 and 20. So I got a couple of asterisks in there, but that's truly amazing in the music business to stay together for so long. I'm guessing they didn't include solo artists because a solo artist like Billy Joel or Bruce Brinkstein, who else has been around forever?

Elton John. Elton, John. You know, if you're just on your own, hell, that can be pretty easy. Yeah. Not much you got to worry about there. When you're the guy, you can say, you're fired, you're fired, you're hired, Alice Cooper. Oh, God, Alice Cooper is a great example.

He's had many, many different bandmates over the years. It's like Minuto, where his bandmates, if you see him 20 years ago, he's playing with a bunch of 20-year-olds. If you see him 20 years later, he's playing with a bunch of 20-year-olds, they just rotate in the young guys. Minuto. Did you say Minuto? I said minuto.

I'm having a hard time with the scorpions, just like not making it for 20 years, and they still were like totally cool with each other. That's nuts. I would go insane. I would give up after probably like, oh, geez, maybe like 10 max, but probably more realistically around five.

I mean, there were some interchangeable parts there. It wasn't like the same five guys in 1965 were all together when they hit it big in 1980, but mostly, mostly. they're German, I don't know. Oh, that explains it. They stick together more? They're frigging German.

And you know what else happened, Josh? Somebody went ahead. Similar vibe here. Somebody went ahead and, oh, now people are texting in about bands that never broke up or never went on hiatus. Again, this is Loudwire. And they're saying, what about Tesla? What about Leonard Skinnerd?

Megadeth? What about Megadeth? Call Loudwire. Someone else cut loose with my damn. Oh, I'd like to see this entire list, really. All I have is the top 20. Consequence? I don't know what that is.

Have you visited that? Have you read that magazine, Josh? Yeah, I've seen, I mean, I don't regularly check it, but I've certainly seen it referenced in other articles. The top 100 vocal. of all time. I'd like to see the whole thing. I don't know if you have it anywhere, Josh, because what they have here is the top 20 vocalists

of all time. Let me see. 20 to 1 goes like this and see if you can because, of course, what I want to do is find some singers in there that I think can't sing for Dick. I want to see if they made the top 100. Oh, there's a couple in here. I totally agree with.

Are there any here that you totally disagree with? I'm not familiar with a couple names. Yeah, see, I'm not familiar. Okay, here's the... Or I take that back. There's a couple of names I've even familiar with, but I've never heard what they do. And then again, we'll probably end up having an argument about, you know, front man versus singer. Were they really a great singer? Are they more of a showman, this and that?

Yeah, there's a difference for sure. Absolutely. Okay, so here's the top 20. And I'll ring the bell if I've never heard them sing before. Kendrick Lamar never heard him sing before. Oh, love him. Absolutely love him. He was in the Super Bowl two years ago.

19. Chris Cornell. What position does he? Yeah, I know. That sounded ridiculous. Did he win? Did he score any touchdowns? I was just trying to go fast.

Super Bowl halftime show. I was just trying to feel like, all right, I'm going to get in there right back. I know what it's like. 19 is Chris Cornell. Seen him a couple times. Beautiful voice. Yep. 18.

Adele, I've never heard her sing. Oh, my gosh. She was a, me and my dad loved her. She used to listen to her all the time. Do you think she does, oh, really? Okay, that just answers my question. I was going to say, do you think she should be in the top 20 of all time? Yeah, she has such a beautiful.

beautiful voice. 17, James Brown. 16, Hank Williams. Yes. 15. Mariah Carey, 14, Ray Charles. I'll cry if I talk too long about Ray Charles. Number 13.

13. He should have punched me in the face backstage 25 years ago because I was so drunk and bothering him the entire time. Number 13. Rob Halford. He's the man. Nicest guy in the world. He should have choked me and kicked me.

until I was lifeless because I was drunk backstage with Rob Halford, and all I did was follow him around for an hour. Creeper? Oh, God. 12. This goes way back, right? Nina Simone, I've heard the name before. That goes way back.

Or am I thinking of somebody else? It must, because I have no idea who the heck that is. 11. Roy Orbison. Here's one, yeah, never even heard of the guy, nor have I heard him sing, so I'll ring the bell. HR from Bad Brains. I remember the band Bad Brains, but I can't see. say that I ever heard the guy sing.

I know I have because a buddy of mine's sister was into all that kind of music, but Bad Brains was one of her favorites. Okay, we're into the top ten vocalists of all time now from a magazine called Consequence. Number nine is Mike Jackson. Number eight is Mike Patton. Oh, wow. From Faith more. Seven, they always talk about his range.

Yeah. Seven, Ella Fitzgerald, six, Beyonce Knowles, five, Robert Plant, four, Marvin Gay. three, Whitney's Houston. Now that one, that came to mind for me as number one. Whitney Houston? Yeah. I wasn't thinking too much of the list. So that was one I thought for sure needed to be in the top

five. Two is Aretha Franklin and one? Fred Mercury. He's incredible. Those are good choices. Tell me about the others that we don't have in front of us. I'll give you that in a second. It's the top 100, obviously, so I'm trying to scan through it. But I just saw today a list of Celebrities who are surprisingly bad at their jobs.

Bad at their jobs. But they're, you know, they're very famous, but they're not really good at what they do. They're more famous for kind of, like you said, great frontman versus a great singer. Jennifer Lopez, people are saying she's famous for a singer, she can't sing. Okay. I can believe that. Yeah, that's very true. I can believe.

I remember a couple of her songs, and I don't ever remember, you know, being taken aback by her vocal abilities. Not great. Oh, wait a minute. So wait a minute. So wait a, what are we talking about now? a list of people who are surprisingly bad at their jobs. Oh, bad at their jobs. The other one would be Taylor Swift,

known for a singing and dancing, can't sing, can't dance. Taylor... She can sing, but she's not, I mean, like, the best dancer in the clips that I've seen. It's just, I mean, I don't know. It's very average, like, white girl, middle-aged dad kind of dancing. This is the one that is, like,

the one. Really popular, yeah. This is the gal who sells out everywhere, Taylor Swift, the one who's married to the football player. Yep. Oh, okay. I like her singing voice. But whatever. I can't say that I've heard enough to even comment on Taylor Swift. Snoop Dog, they put on the list. He's bad at his job.

He's known for rapping, can't rap. He can't rap? He can't rap? I was talking about that the other day with a friend who said, do you want to go to the Snoop Dog concert? He's going to be here, I think, in September. And I was thinking about it. Like, I love Snoop Dog like everybody else, but I can maybe name two,

three of his songs, maybe? I bet you could, if you were there, it was like when I went to Billy Joel. Sure. Once you hear him, I don't know. Oh, yeah, that's his song. I mean, I remember when he first hit it big. I mean, gin and juice. Hell, what do I know?

But it sure sounded like he had a skill set there. To me, to me, to me, it sounded like he knew what he was doing. I agree. I like it. I mean, there's plenty of really famous rappers where I don't necessarily understand. I don't know enough about it, I guess. He's just got like there's something about him, you know, I'm a fan. I like his delivery.

Me too. A couple more. There's two more of celebrity musicians that are supposedly not. very good at their jobs. Bob Dylan, this person. He's just a cranky old man at this point. They said he doesn't sing, he whines. I've never dangled with Bob Dylan for more than two seconds. I never cared. This one, you know, I hear this a lot and I don't agree really. Lars Alrick. People are saying, you know, he's a famous drummer and he's not a very, very good drummer. You know what's funny is many, many years ago on this program, we were talking about drummers and I made some kind of comment

complimenting Lars Ulrich. And I was shocked to get a negative response on our text machine. Totally agree. And so now when I listen to Metallica, I've been focusing on Lars, wondering if these people who texted and said, Lars sucks. I was wondering if they were right. I'm still, I'm not hearing what others are hearing. I think maybe I'm not skilled enough to pick it out, but some people say, well, he gets out of time.

You know, he's supposed to be in time and he's not. I always thought he was great, like one of the greats. I mean, to a certain level, I'm a drummer. I know how to play a set of drums, and no one's going to mistake me for Neil Pert, but I know a little bit about it. And when I listen to Lars, I've yet to pinpoint what's so bad about him. When people, like I said, people texted and said he sucks, I've yet to pinpoint his shortcomings just yet. Me neither.

I mean, he played some pretty complex stuff in the early days of his career. Yeah. Anyway, can you help me out before we go? Back to that consequences. Yeah, you tell me this list of the 100 best vocalists of all time. Tell me which ones you question being in the top 100. And tell me if there's any that you feel like I would question. Okay.

Are there any in there that you go, okay, wait. minute. So far there's nobody Okay. There's nobody that doesn't make sense. Where's Lady Gaga in there? Let me look that up in a second. I wonder if I can search that. Because I'd like to nitpick some of these people. Okay, I only know like one song

from Shaka Khan. Oh, she was incredible. Okay, so she should be on listening? Incredible singer. Yes. Absolutely. She was in the Blues Brothers, you know, singing with James Brown. You know, when they see the light and they realize the band,

The band? That whole scene. Is it Ariana Grande? Should she be on this list, Ashley? I mean, I don't listen to her. I don't want to say anything bad about her. People are crazy about her. I'm ringing the bell because I haven't heard her sing yet.

This one you might disagree with. Yeah? Bono? Your laugh tells me you do disagree? I haven't heard enough of it. I've never been a YouTube fan, but I'm not going to attack his singing voice. because I don't know.

I know the song won. I know the... I don't like you, too. In the name of love, streets have no name. Anyone else? Can we, we can attack? I want to attack somebody.

Okay. Oh, yeah. I'm trying to find somebody to attack, but now I'm kind of looking for for people on the list that listeners said suck. Axel Rose. We got some text saying

Axel Rose can't sing. Oh, come on. You're talking about now? Now, and maybe that's exactly what they mean. Here's one that should be higher. Who? Here's one that should be higher. Oh.

They have Bruce Dickinson at numbers. 73. Bruce is one of... He should be a lot higher than that. If Rob Halford is in the top 20, Bruce Dickinson should be there as well. Anyway. There's nobody I'm looking at that of the people I recognize that suck.

I mean, certainly not. Well, that's all right. Who were we talking about before Bruce Dickinson? For, um, why can't I think? Oh my God, Axel Rose. Axel Rose. I mean, come on. Yes, we could sit here all day and talk about these great singers.

who now today should really walk away from a live microphone. But I'm not mad at him. Some people get mad about it. Oh, I went and saw, you know, guns and roses and Axel Rose. He can't sing Sweet Child of Mine anymore. Well, of course not. He's near 70 years old. He's been smoking cigarettes, drinking booze,

and banging everything that moves for 40 years. Give the guy a friggin' break. Some people react so funny to that. You're not the same as you were when you were 25 either. Give the guy. So, if you're saying Axel Rose can't sing now, I'll go along with it. But to say that the man never could is just ridiculous. I'm ashamed to say I can't name one of his songs,

so I'll have to ask you, Nick, your opinion, Iggy Pop. Don't know anything about him. I remember a couple of things about him. I certainly am familiar with the name. And that might be, again, where they're factoring more in the showmanship than the singing. That's my guess. I mean, is David Lee Roth in there? Not yet.

So Ozzy Osbourne, they have a 38. Ozzie was such an underrated singer. Yeah, one of my all-time favorite. He had such a unique delivery underrated to the day that he died. Ooh, Tom Waits. Tom Waits. Who the hell's that? I mean, I've heard the name before. Oh, you know what I'm thinking of different weights?

You're thinking of John Waite. John Waits, yeah. I've heard Tom Waits. I've heard the name. Yeah, he was more of like a folksy kind of a guy, I thought, but I can't be sure. Yeah, you were thinking at John Waite from the babies. He's great. Yeah.

I don't see his name on it. Couldn't write a song very often, but he was a good singer. So you haven't found Roth yet? No, it doesn't look like he's on. Now I'm up to the top 10, which we've, this has changed a little bit from the list. David Lee Roth is not in the top 100? See, now I want to get pissed off. I hear a listeners saying, what about Kenny Rogers, this and that?

It sounds like this was more focused on, well, no way. I guess I don't know. I don't know how to explain Kenny Rogers not being in there or Olivia Newton-John. Maybe they are in there. Like Josh is just scrolling. He's not 100% sure. I don't see Kenny Rogers here. Jeff Tate.

People are. Oh, shoot. That's a great one. Jeff Tate will, I mean, again, take hold of the flame. Just that song itself. Like, his voice will stop time. People are saying, what about Johnny Cash? He's number 89, so he's in the top one.

Yeah, he had some great stuff. Yes. Chester Bennington, they didn't put on here. Let's see. Weird Al Yacovic. Did you ever come across Lady Gaga yet? No. No Lady Gaga.

That is crazy. She definitely should be on that list. David Lee Roth and Lady Gaga are together right now, drinking, wondering how in the hell they didn't make the list. Whoops. Don't let it bother you, Lady Gaga. Don't let it bother you, Dave. We're both supporters over here, actually, and I'm trying to make people feel back.

I bet we made them feel a lot better. What's Lady Gaga's real name? I'm assuming they'd put her under Lady Gaga. Stephanie Germanado. You knew that oddly fast. that though. Stephanie Germanado is not on the list. Germanado? What, Germanado?

Is that a joke? Yeah, like a Mercedes? German auto, hello. German auto residence. Yeah, I'd like to look into a Mercedes. That'll be the dumbest joke you'll hear all day. That's pretty bad. Let's get the hell out of here.

I mean, not for good. We still have some things to do, but you're a wonderful crowd. We love all your text messages. Yeah, where's David Coverdale? Where's this guy? Oh, gosh, yeah. Where's the guy from Steelheart? He's got range.

Oh, I know. Oh, yeah, Sebastian Bach. I wrote that one down. I'd put him in the top 20. What was the guy's name from Steelheart? God dang it. We'll take a break. We'll come back with the stupid news here in a couple of minutes.

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Oh, who put this together? Consequence. A website or a magazine called Consequence. And there's some great stuff in there. but our text machine blew up and it's only natural folks want to know how this guy or that gal didn't make the list I mean hell we had a top 100 covered a lot of it and these are some fair questions that didn't dawn on me in the moment starting with this message or this question from I have yet to experience this Jesus name and I got to admit I think it's my new favorite we got to

this text from a character that calls himself Hack of all trades. I like that. Yeah. That's clever. Hack of all trades, Jesus. Fair question. Where the hell's Ronnie James Dio? Yeah, not on the list. Some others that came into play that really grabbed me.

And again, I'm embarrassed that I didn't come up with this all on my own. Where in God's name is Steve Perry? Steve, oh, you know, Ronnie James Dio is on the list. Oh, 57. Steve Perry was not on the list. That's ridiculous. That's just embarrassing and wrong is all that is. Okay.

I was never a massive fan of this band. Saw him in concert a couple of times. But you got to hand it to this dude. He had one of the most incredible, unique voices in rock history, and that's friggin' Lane Staley from Allison Chains. He is on the list. He is. Okay, good.

Others. And again, sorry if, you know, these folks actually are there. We were doing this on the fly, but these are just some questions from listeners. Is Paul Rogers in there? Let's see. Don't hurt yourself. I don't remember. But we didn't originally talk about Paul Rogers and people were curious about it.

Bad company, of course. This is weird. Sam Hagar came up a few times. I didn't see him on. So Steve Perry is on the list. Sorry, you've got to keep clicking around. It's kind of confusing. It's okay.

These are just folks we didn't get around to when people were curious about. Yeah, I don't see Sammy Haley. Enrique Palazzo, of course, he sang the national anthem beautifully at that California Angels Seattle Mariners game back in 89. It was documented in a show called The Naked Gun when Arrique Palazzo sang the Jim Neighbors, good question. Of all of your texts, this is the one I'm most ashamed to myself that I didn't come up on my own. Maybe Cubby can clear this up. Brad F-me-Running Sideways Delp. Yeah, I searched for that when I didn't see him on the list.

From Boston. That man did things with his singing voice that no other man could do. Brad Fenn Delp. You know, every once in all we talk about those reaction videos you can find on YouTube where people listen to a song for the very first time. They'd never heard them. And some of it is great. Some of it is terrible.

Just morons. But watch people react to more than a feeling by Boston for the very first time. They back away from the computer screen. They can't even believe what they're seeing. Brad Delp was untouchable. I love those, especially when it's somebody who's not familiar with that genre of music. I mean, I watch all the rock ones. But when you have somebody that they're just into rap.

And then they watch some of these singers that you've known for decades. And it's fun seeing their expressions for Jeff Tate, another one in Queensreich. You see the reactions sometimes also when like the singing instructors. Oh, yeah. When they, you know, they pause them a lot and they kind of talk about like Sebastian Bach. A lot of people kind of, you know, watch his videos and see how good he was. One of my favorites is a red-haired gal. I believe her channel is called The Charismatic Voice.

Yeah, I watch some of her stuff. She's a professional singer. She used to be an opera singer, I believe, so she knows how the voice works and what is impressive and what is not. Watch folks react to more than a feeling when they see Brad Delb cut loose with it. It's just, I mean, I've listened to that song in my lifetime. I bet I've listened to it 2,500 times or more. And every time it grabs me, how in God's name did he do that? All right.

I love that stuff. People are texting in. What about Chris Cornell? Chris Cornell's on the list. Kirk Cobain, to answer your question, is on the list. Oh, good. Number 25. Sorry.

You've got a look right there. A little bit of a look. My stomach doesn't feel good. Oh, I'm sorry. That wasn't a stomach. I might have some saltines. Speaking of bad stomachs. That's what's a grandma thing of all time.

What happened? She offered you some saltines for your upset stomach. I would love a dry cracker. Those are good for dry crackers. Those are solid. Oh, I love me. You know, every once in a while, Smashley joins us at the Wise at American Legion, and we shoot a little three ball, pocket billiards,

and you've met some of the low lives that I commiserate with over there. If you met my big, big sum bitch, not Big Harve, he's not as big as Big Harve. Okay. Almost. We call him Wayne Delay, because he's slow. His name is Wayne. We call him Wayne Delay. Yep.

If you present him a pack of Saltine Crackers, he'll run for the exits. He has a phobia. Oh, really? What? I've never heard of that. He's terrified of saltine crackers. Do you know why? Does he have a story?

Like when he was a kid, he was forced to eat him or something? Was he attacked by one? It was that fraternity game. The salty... I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, no, no. It wasn't.

No, he was never in a... I'm just saying... That never happened, right? The soggy sailor. Next time you come to the bar, Ashley, bring Wayne DeLay, bring him some saltine crackers. I don't want to mess them up. He's like the new guy

He goes off into the corner He's puking his guts out That's so funny I need to know why Now he can start a whole new can of worms About phobias But he will not even look at a bag of salt Especially if they're cracked up

Like smushed up What? Is it a texture? I don't know I don't dare ask him Is it worse than me? He's too big He's too big of a guy

I'm afraid he'll take it out on me Worst than you what? With condiments? With condiments like with ketchup Like that one night When somebody was spraying ketchup All over a Similar

A napkin and I was just almost had to leave the tables. I couldn't believe your response. You weren't joking. I knew you didn't like condiments, but I had no idea it affected you. It makes me physically uncomfortable. It's a similar thing. Okay.

Yeah. All right. Maybe we and I started a support group together. Me and Wayne. Yeah, good idea. Frigan Wayne. All right. Let's start off.

Is that one of those things? Does he know his nickname or is that just what people are called? He knows. Yeah. He knows he's aware. Wayne delay. Because he's always playing pole tabs. It's your turn to shoot.

Jackass. Get over here. Friggin' Wayne delay. What are we waiting around for? We know what it is. All right. This is terrible and disgusting. This is one of those stories that makes me hate my fellow man.

And I don't want to hate. But, I mean, come on. There's just no respect for one another anymore. There's no consideration for others. Now, if I'm in junior high, this is funny. But as a grown person, call me a flatliner. Call me whatever you want. But I'd want to choke somebody unconscious.

Here's the deal. Over there in Cartagena, Columbia. I bet you didn't see that coming. No, definitely not. In Cartagena, Columbia. an entire movie theater full of people had to be evacuated because some jackbag, low-life, virgin peckerhead, went ahead and farted in the theater, and the smell smooth turned the joint inside out. It says here the crowd had paid to see a movie called Spider-Man brand damn new day. and about halfway through the picture,

a terrible, thick cloud of unmitigated ass overwhelmed the room. It's pretty sick. How could you do that? That sucks, too, because people have been waiting a long time to see that movie. Especially in Cartagena. If you know, Josh knows the neighborhood, they've been waiting especially long in Cartagena to see.

Big Tom Holland fans over there. Now, here's a new one on me. The article referred to the gas. They referred to it as a, quote, pumpkin bomb. I've never in my life heard a fart referred to as a pumpkin bomb. But we don't need to focus on that. What's that? Never heard anybody say that either.

No. Not trying to throw you, but I've never heard a pumpkin bomb. I mean, I've heard of the bomb, the pumpkin bomb, but I've never heard anybody refer to a fart as the pumpkin bomb. Now, apparently, this beef wall was so, massive, so massive and overwhelming that audience members took to run in for their very lives. You saw the guy. People simply couldn't breathe. You saw the guy, I'm assuming?

No, I didn't see the guy. He was dressed as Spider-Man. Oh, they know who did this? Yeah. Oh. And he's huge. Muscular. So it's got to be that diet. I mean, we've, you know, probably, if anybody knows someone that's really into that, especially power lifting and stuff, it's horror. It's like not even human. So I could see why they escaped the theater because it's not normal. I can speak on that powerlifting fart. I can, Josh. By the way, the witnesses, folks who were at the theater this evening said they heard someone say Iwa, Iwa, no. And then they heard the fart.

Josh, I know. Get a one, quick. But there was no one laughing this time. It wasn't funny because it wasn't lit on fire and it wasn't Japanese college students. You know, I still kind of, this is a bit humorous, but you're right, if you're in that situation, it's like, you know, come on, man. We're trying to watch a movie for Christ's sake. That powerlifting diet, my twin brother, when we live together in our late teens, he would, eat all that powdery, whatever it was.

Scoops and scoops of the protein powder. That does it to you. Into a shake and then all he ate was broccoli stems and dry chicken chest. I don't know what he was eating, but that's where we, Josh, all of that power lifters diet, that's how we encountered the blood fart. Those are two words I never want to hear back to back ever again.

infamous blood fart from 1988. It happened. You haven't heard the story of the blood fart? Did he go to the doctor? No. My brother never goes to the doctor. You could shoot him in the stomach and he would not go to the doctor. He would repair it at home with some Elmer's glue and an old t-shirt. He never goes to the doctor.

The blood fart. I'll tell you about it some other time, Dana. Okay. I thought maybe you had already heard. I may have. I also might have just tried to block it out of my head. It was the winter of 88. It was February 7, 1988.

Okay. We have an answer from the all-knowing brother and sisterhood what the pumpkin bomb references. What is that reference? Green Goblin drops pumpkin bombs. Oh, so it's a reference to the stupid movie? Yeah. Okay.

No wonder I had never. Okay, so the story says, there is a chance that this was a good old-fashioned stink bomb. And if that was the case and I was there, I'd be a little less rageful about the whole thing. That would help, yeah. I'd rather know that I was inhaling a seventh grade quality stink bomb than the contents of someone's colon. I know you've yelled at somebody for farting before. You've told the story about an airplane. Oh, yeah. It ended up being one of my bros. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We were at a restaurant recently, and the server was at a table next to us. It was super packed,

tight together these tables. And she farted quite loudly twice while she was waiting on the other. Did she say anything about it? Like, hey, my bad? One more time. Who did that? The server. She was at the table right next to us.

I'm going to say, what? What? What would you say? It's two feet away? That's repulsive. That's bonkers. Yeah, she was pretty old, so maybe she didn't know what was going on. I guess we're an old person.

I might give them a break because they have a lack of control there. And probably had no idea. I was picturing like a 20-year-old. No, no, no, no, no. I was like, come on. She was 20 years old in 1947. Yeah, she gets a break. Well, I told you guys a story about the time at IKEA in high school

where I had a little gas and just let it out silently and ended up being so bad that the cashier walked away from a register and it made my girlfriend cry. Yeah, that's pretty bad. It, like, singed the hair of my nostrils. It was so bad. That's repulsive. I know.

So either way, whether it was real or a stink bomb, I would be pissed. Like I said, I'd prefer this stink bomb. You know, you're setting all comfortable in a theater, watching a movie. Suddenly, a quief has forced everyone to evacuate the room. I mean, come on. So all the poor bastards in the theater were made to stand in the hallway, I guess until they let the joint air out. Luckily, they had a bucket of Fabrese in the janitor's

closet. They fired up the movie again, but some folks never went back in. They were pissed. They wanted their money back in the whole smear. Okay, so I didn't know this, Josh. They identified the guy. I didn't know that. Was he thrown out?

Was he? Well, he was, yeah, I don't know what ended up happening to the guy. I mean, if it was a stink bomb, I'd imagine you could be in some pretty big trouble. You would think, yeah. If it matters at all, too, your word is this year, Spider-Man. movie is supposedly a terrific show. Oh, wonderful. Worth that kind of show?

I'm sorry? Is it like worth that, are they saying? Oh, they didn't. They kept their review of the movie separate from the mustard butt. It'd be hard to do that. Yeah, you know what? I haven't really heard a review. I mean, it's setting records left and right. It's the highest grossing movie of all time

and the amount of time it's been out. At least in Cartagena, Josh, they really liked it. I've heard fantastic things for my buddies who are really dialed into the whole Marvel thing. Oh, that's great. I like the Spider-Man movies. Yeah, they're always good. I haven't seen them in a really, really long time.

I watched, like, the first two. How many are there? Quite a few? Like 10 total now? I don't know. Or maybe just, like, the classic Spider-Man, you know, with like the Redhead Girl and... Tobin McGuire back the day? Yep, those ones.

Is this a true story? Someone texted in Broom Ball Jesus. Play hockey, will you? Broom Ball Jesus texted in to say the blood. Blood Farts is the name of a band in the movie The Bad News Bears? I had no idea. I've watched The Bad News Bears a dozen. Yeah, I don't remember that.

That's really cool, though. To me, the blood fart was just what my brother dumped on us. Again, February 7th of 1988. The remake, it says. Oh, I never saw the remake. I did either. Well, then Christ, we're owed some kind of royalties from that. We created the blood fart and what my brother did in 88, and then the remake was what, 20 years ago?

2005. How did they hear about it? All right, since we're talking about this awful subject, again, I'll tell you one more time. This is not an exaggeration. I'm going to, with my mouth, Josh, I'm going to imitate the volume and the length of the fart that a woman I had never met before

dumped on me and me only at the radio station 26, 7 years ago, 30 years ago. This is my I'm not exaggerating. Okay? And you've told the story before, but I forget. She apologized, correct? No. Yeah, and she said, hey, sorry about that.

Let me throw it at you one more time. So I was working on this awful morning show that had no future at all, and I was the only one who was smart enough to know it. And there were interchangeable female characters constantly, because the host of the show was nuts, and he couldn't decide we'd have this one gal in for three, four days, and then, oh, no, she's not good enough. And then we'd bring another gal in.

Sounds fun. She'd be there for two. Oh, no, she's not working out. So I was fairly used to walking in early for show prep. I was fairly used to at this point walking in and seeing a new female sitting in our prep room. Okay. So I walked in and it was just she and I at the old radio station. Josh knows the old radio station in Golden Valley.

Down in the basement, there was this office that we would gather in. She and I were the first two there in the morning. I walked in, didn't say a word to her, she didn't say a word to me. Because, again, I figured when the host of the show gets here and everyone else gets here, we can do our introductions. She seemed busy reading something, and I started doing the same. Absolutely out of nowhere, total dead silence. She unleashed that effing massive, long, rough-sounding fart. and just like in the movies, it kind of,

I just kind of stared at my work and then kind of slowly raised my head up to look over in her direction. And she says this, hey, deal with it. I fart. That's what I do. If you're going to work with me every day, you're going to have to put up with it. So there you go. I would just get up and leave.

I would get up and walk out of the room. Again, I'm not doing this with you. I'm not doing this. I had never experienced anything like that in my life from anyone. This is the first time we've laid eyes on each other. So I think, again, slowly I looked back down at my work and I said, got it. Or okay or something because I was mostly in shock.

We go on air. She's absolutely horrible. Thank God. And later that same day, the host was like, yeah, she's not coming back. makes it easy to get rid of her. She was like really great on air. That was the opening statement she wanted to make in her failed attempt at a career in radio was,

hey, I fart loudly and long and you're going to have to live with it. That was the little territory marking that she wanted to make on day one. That's a little aggressive. You've got to be out of your mind. Out of your mind! A crazy person! All right. People are texting in about farts that came out of nowhere from other people.

Yeah. Somebody who was behind the line in line at a Cub Foods, the old lady in front of him just went for it. I've never experienced that. I would hate that so much. What's wrong with you? There was a time in college who was one of those auditorium-type classes, big lecture hall, and kind of like movie theater-type

seating. A girl in front of me, she kind of adjusts herself her posture and she let out a loud, loud fart. And you can tell she was embarrassed. So she kept like trying to move around, trying to recreate that sound by, you know, like the cushion on the chair to try to make it seem like it wasn't her ass that just dropped everywhere. It was, no, it was the chair. It was the chair. I swear. My grandma, that must have been somewhat traumatizing. At least it would be for me. I don't think I heard a female openly fart until I was in my mid-30s. Even growing up with a mom and sister. Never once.

Never once. My grandma used to think that when you closed the door on the bathroom, sound did not travel. I hate that. I hate that. I've never heard anyone produce as much as she did. It's like she was holding it all day. And I'd have friends over.

And so when I see her go in there, I knew what was about to happen. So I'd be talking as loud as I can, turning up the music or the TV, but it just, there was no stopping. That would scar me. So eventually, like, everybody knew, my buddy's knew, like, oh, here we go. Get ready for the show. Grandma's putting on a show in there, that's for sure.

Oh, it was just awful. You know, somehow, Josh, if this gig disappears today, and there's always a chance, at my new job on day one, I'm just going to haul out my penis and piss on the floor, and I'm going to say to my coworkers, I piss on the floor. That's what I do. I expose myself. I don't go to the bathroom because that's how I'm wired. I'm different.

Yeah, I'm different. I love that she's kind of mad about it. Yeah, oh yeah. What's your problem? What's she's hiding? We don't know each other. The whole thing was so concerning, really. She's been through something.

Yes. All right, real quick before we go, because this is fun. Any good drunk has one of these stories where you get so drunk you get into the wrong car? Has everybody done it? No. Oh. I've got in the wrong. Uber a couple times. My wife has

completely sober, walked to the wrong pickup a couple times, and one time I yelled at her way ahead of time. The second, I thought, I'm just going to see how this goes. Okay. And Uber's understandable, because, you never, you've never, you've never, you've never done it. I've gotten into the wrong

car. Okay, I guess I thought it was more of a widespread problem. I'm sure. It happens quite often. Like I said, I witnessed my wife, do it twice. I know a couple of guys who got hammered and slept in what they thought was their car, and had a rude awakening the next morning when some jabroni's trying to go to work. Oh, no, thank you.

But anyway, you get so drunk you get into the wrong car. That is funny. I don't care who you are. In stupid Long Island, New York, a gal got so effing sideways on drugs and alcohol that at the end of the night, she walked out her neighborhood bar, she hopped her little ass into the wrong motor vehicle, and she drove the F out of there. The real owner of that rig had left the keys in the damn car. so the drunked-up and drugged-up gal had no she had no clue she was rolling down the road in somebody else's whip she probably didn't even realize she was driving that's great maybe not because they say she was high as balls

and a puddle of piss she was so gooned up 35-year-old gal by the name of aerial she drove away from that roadhouse in a 20 and 20 Mazda CX-5 identical to her own ride and Ariel had to her own ride and Ariel parked her Mazda just a few spots away. There's somebody that drives the exact same vehicle as Dana, same color, same everything in our parking lot. I never really know, oh, is Dana here or not here? She actually traded it in for a different color. I'm kind of paranoid that maybe it was because I got the same exact color.

Oh, did she? Yeah. Okay, that must have been pretty recent. Yeah, it's red now. That's hilarious. Exact same Jeep just now red rather than the electric or, as my friend's called, douchebag blue. So the cops pounced on Ariel before she could kill herself or a busload of children.

They said she was driving like an animal, just hammered. The vehicle was returned to its rightful owner who decided not to press charges for auto theft or anything like that. But Ariel, she did spend the night in the county jailhouse for DWI. Yeah, she should. That's cool that the owner was, you know, reasonable about that. Swamp-stopping Jesus slept in the wrong car and said, luckily his buddies found him before the owner did. One of my pals, like, got into a wrestling match.

Because he's walking home. He's completely destroyed. He thinks he's crawling. He's so drunk, he can't even make it into the house. He thinks he's at home and he thinks this is his car that he's looking at. But he's like, I can't even make it into the... So he crawls into what he thought was his car, goes to sleep. The next morning, when the poor bastard who really owned that vehicle was trying to go to work,

my buddy awakens and thinks that this man is breaking into his vehicle to rob him or molest him. So they're fighting, you know, you're in my car, no, you're in my car. And finally, my pal realizes, oh, Jesus, balls, I'm not only at the wrong house, but this is not my... How do you come back from that? I thought I won similar. This is very embarrassing, and I even debated whether or not I should bring it up, but I like to share with you guys. I was at the gym, and I always used the same line. locker, you know, nobody was ever there. The gym was kind of crappy. Nobody ever went. I loved it

because I like the crappy one for whatever reason. And so I'm like, oh my God, I forgot my combination. What I think my combination is is not working. And I kept trying it and I went to the front desk. I'm like, I'm embarrassed to say I forgot my combination. I don't know how, but can you help me out? And they opened the lock with the lock cutters. And I look in there and none of my stuff was there. I had completely forgotten somebody had used that locker and I went to a different area. Oh my God.

So I went out and found the only other person in there and apologized, bought them a new lock and stuff. But I was so incredibly embarrassed that I got so many people involved in this. I thought you bought them a new lock, dude. I would leave and then never go back. Yeah, it's time for new gym, Josh. This is my stuff now.

Now, Cubby, when you go to the gym to work out and you... This has been years. That was years ago. When you used to go there, When you open up your locker, do you take off your basketball shorts and put on a different pair of basketball shorts? Oh, good question. I just take my... Because you're already wearing basketball shorts. I take off the exterior basketball shorts.

Yeah, I always wear two pairs. Oh, yeah, just to be safe. Just in case. Sports on the 93X half-assed morning show. I'm here today to do this interview to let the world and everybody know that I am retired. and I wanted to say a big thank you to everybody. Saturday was a very emotional day. When Obafemi slammed me at WrestleMania, I was like, I can't do this again.

I was like, I think I'm done. I still had some fuel in the tank, but Saturday for Brock Lesnar, that's it. All right, so Brock Lesnar retired. It's hard to know if a wrestler or a rock star's retirement announcement really means anything. Yeah. Earlier this year, I thought earlier this year, Lesner, took off his wrestling gear. Not everything, thank God.

And he left it on the mat after a match at WrestleMania. But then he wrestled this past weekend at SummerSlapp. So he did that on his own. It wasn't planned by creative or anything. And I think then they said, hey, we will pay you so much more money

if you come back for one more match at SummerSla. So it works with every damn one of them. They walk away and then they get that offer that you cannot refuse. So anyway, he was on television yesterday says here he got emotional about it

so I guess we'll wait and see and he said this he said I know now why you cry what movie Terminator 2 that's right Ashley yeah I wasn't going to guess that you said have you seen it

I was thinking no wait maybe I don't know when I was younger possibly it's wonderful you should watch the twins I don't know what the they're going to do about Randy Dobnack. He's going to ruin their season. Twins lost to the Royals last night. Randy Daugate. The pimp did it to him again.

Bounty Gate. Bounty Gate. That's it. We're going to have to reenact Bounty Gate, but this time for Major League Baseball, we've got to take them out. So somebody charged the mound? Yeah. What is that now? Boney Gate? Brett Farr was a victim of Bounty Gate.

The Sean Payton. Peyton deal. I love that bit. I know you did. I'm surprised you didn't get it. No, I guess I haven't heard of what referred to as Bounty Gate in the long time, but oh, I like that story. It's one of my favorite football stories. I got an email yesterday. Did you guys get the same email from the twins yesterday about

Banana Ball? Oh, yes, this weekend. This Friday. Banana Ball is this weekend. Yeah, I know. Are you guys going to go see Banana Ball? No, I wanted to really bad, but I didn't get picked. My wife is going. It's the banana ballers against the loco beach coconuts. Did you catch the name there, Josh? Yeah, crazy. The Loco Beach. Get it. Cocon. Anyway, the twins sent everyone an email saying, hey, there's still tickets available to go see Banana Ball. I did not see that. And now I am seeing it, and that is really cool because I really want to go. Are you really going to go? I mean, we'll see how expensive it is.

Local Beach coconuts. I might be able to help you out there versus a banana ball. I know someone's selling them, Ashley. Oh, okay. Panana ball. Target field. Oh, all-inclusive tickets. What?

Well, that's where you get to throw a couple of innings of out there on the bomb. Dude, sweet. I would love to. Yeah. Well, you were a catcher. Maybe you play catcher? Yeah, yeah. I don't want to be on the other side.

Josh, yes. Banana bowl. Yay! He's coming back here in a minute for the year. What's this weekend? Banana ball against the Loco Beach coconuts. It's going to be crazy, man. FILE!

Loco Beach! That doesn't make any frigging sense. Is there really a town called Loco Beach? You want to go to a crazy beach? Oh, wait a minute. They just broke into a synchronized dance. Oh, look, some guys are doing backflips. It's Banana Ball.

Yay! Yay, everybody. Oh, a foul ball. Yay. News is next. How much for two of my friends? Hey, it's Dana. of standard heating and air conditioning.

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Mike Drop, hosted by former Navy CEO, Mike Ridland. What is your take? Was it what you expected? Oh, it was the best thing ever. It was something I always wanted to do. If you show me a clear goal, I'm like, okay, I can do that. Master Chief. He's like, you realize there's about 1% chance that you're making it through.

1%. That's all I need Master Chief. My platoon went home early, and I just went up to my chief, and I was like, I'm not going home. Turns out I'm staying. That's when we go to war. Yeah. I was like, okay, I could get used to this. Mike Drop, follow and listen on your favorite platform. 93X half-assed morning show.

Our suspect, don't know what was in his mind. He acted erratic. Thankfully, our suspect didn't have a gun. It could have ended so much worse. A drive home from Florida got pretty scary when a 36-year-old man forced a North Carolina family off the road using a police pit maneuver, later claiming the total strangers were trying to steal his money.

The Martin County Sheriff's Office reported Michael Spires launched his unprovoked rampage about 7.30 p.m. Saturday at a gas station. That's where Spires hunted down a woman in the parking lot and tailed her onto the highway. Spires repeatedly tried to force her off the road. Terrified, she called 911 and executed a desperate high stakes escape by driving the wrong way down an exit ramp. When his first target was gone, he locked on to the person behind her, the brother of the woman who was following behind in his vehicle with his wife and young son. According to the arrest report, Spires unleashed a brutal barrage, pelting the family's vehicle with objects,

break-checking him, and flailing his arms and hands displaying what police said were gang signs. And that's when the pit hit the fam. Gang signs? I guess. To some lady? At this case, this was a family at this point. Yeah, the lady escaped. I don't know.

Now it's the father, son, wife. I don't know how to interpret that. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'd be lost. I wouldn't know. I'd like to communicate. What does that mean?

What does that mean? What is that? I don't know if I'd recognize that. Spires used the pit maneuver to take the family's vehicle out. It hit the, excuse me, left the roadway, spun out and crashed into a barbed wire fence. Oh, my God. And four, the complete is walking back towards her vehicle. Body camera footage released by law enforcement captured the terrified family,

crawling out from thick brush where they had scrambled to hide from spires after the wreck. Oh, my lordy. Miraculously, no one was injured. Deputies later cornered him at a nearby gas station, spinning a ludicrous line of defense, insisting the other vehicle had rammed him and claiming the family was stealing his money, a family he had never met. Stealing his money. Investigators confirmed there was zero indication the victim's new spires or did anything to provoke that attack. Got out of the car and this blue car ran into me as it like hit my hand and not the mirror cap off of the car.

That's the guy, huh? That's him. He sounds all together there. I agree, totally. Adding a final bizarre twist to the violence, deputies discovered a dog inside Spire's vehicle. A dog. Oh, great. That dog was stolen.

Oh, no. Police reveal Spires had dognapped the pet from someone he used to date. Fortunately, the pup was recovered and safely returned. and do its rightful owner. That talk had a crazy time. None the wiser to anything. That's a crazy story, Cubby. Agreed.

Maybe I got to polish up on these gang signs. See if I can, I want to know what's being said. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, is the West Side East Side thing a gang? That's not a gang sign, is it? I know that one. I don't know. Did you ever see the Midwest one? That cracks me up.

No. This right here? Midwest. Oh, gross. It's so bad. Josh just made an M with one hand and a W with the other and that means Midwest. Yeah, and I shook it at you, didn't I? Yeah, you did.

Right in your face. Sunday Fun Day in Rochester kicked off with a classic exercise in polite Minnesota road etiquette, zooming around someone, trapping them in their lane, and break-checking them into oblivion. Once both cars came to a complete stop, the suspect decided standard middle finger gesturing simply wouldn't satisfy her inner Rochester rage. So she stepped out of her vehicle, brandishing a box cutter allegedly, and gave a very aggressive arts and crafts makeover to two of the victim's tires. Oh, no. By the way, quick PSA for anyone with ruined treads. Those can be replaced at Hogbauer Automotive during the 93 exclusive tire sale on now through the state fair,

where you buy three tires, you get one. Now back to the criminal complaint. Third Avenue of Main Street. The DIY mechanic then held the blade inches from the woman's neck and declared, I'm going to do this. Don't do it. No. The whole Rosedide Showdown was captured on video by a passenger inside the victim's vehicle,

giving police a clear look at the alleged tire-slashing tantrum. Officers later tracked the suspect down to a nearby parking lot where they found the box cutter sitting on the front passenger seat, apparently ready for the next gal. She's due back in court, September 1st. Just four days before the rescheduled Creed concert at Mystic Lake Amphitheater, get your tickets now. Nobody got cut after all, though, huh?

No, just a couple of tires lost in that whole thing. What's the date of that Creed show? September 5th. Got it. Mystic Lake Ampitheater. Get your tickets now. Well, yeah, but I mean, is POD going to be there? Probably not.

No, they're going to be there. Oh, POD is going to be. Yeah, any other questions on any other bands they're going to be there? Candlebox. Candlebox? They're going to be there. Really? Yeah. And Tim Montana, Creed, still going to be there. Some people like to keep a clean car. Some people love to keep a clean car. And then there's some people who want to keep their car clean so badly they're willing to try and kill a sucker over a little dirty water. A Texas man opened fire on another driver during an insane road rage confrontation because the other vehicle splashed a puddle onto his ride. And to make matters worse, he did it with his own two-year-old child, sitting. right in the back scene. The scene kicked off July 11th when a San Antonio man called 911 to report

he just survived a shootout. Moments earlier, the caller's vehicle hit a puddle, inadvertently splashing the car carrying 32-year-old Daniel Jimenez and 29-year-old Lois Beldeo Lopez. That single splash sparked instant rage. As both cars merged onto the interstate, the victim watched Jimenez accelerate, matches speed, rolled down his window, and start shouting. When the victim lowered his own window, he was staring down the barrel of the man's handgun,

fitted with a laser sight, waving wildly in his direction. Oh, laser's pretty cool. Fearing, I agreed. Fearing for his life, the victim grabbed his own gun. But before he could even turn, the suspect unleashed a hail of gunfire

directly into his vehicle. The victim managed to return fire, escaped to the freeway, drive home, and dial police. He says as he turned towards the suspect, the suspect fired several shots hitting the victim's door. The victim also handed over dash cam footage

that backed up every single detail of his story. The initial splash, the man tailing him onto the freeway, the gunfire, the sound of him emptying his bowels into his Levi's, and the frantic freeway exit. When questioned, the other driver claimed the victim fired first, but police didn't buy it.

Unlike the victim, neither the man or the woman suspects ever reported the shooting instead the pair ditched their spent shell casings in an attempt to hide that evidence. It's also wildly unnecessary. Yeah, I know. Yep. I mean, everything's on dash cam, and police said there was a total accident.

This guy wasn't trying to splash a car. I mean, even if he was, obviously, a gross over reaction, he could have killed somebody. I don't understand. I don't understand. Not even a little bit. A couple of horned up Taiwanese shoppers couldn't wait to get home. before their hormones started demanding some hot Taiwanese action. So they decided an IKEA showroom bed was the perfect spot to start test driving a mattress.

Unbothered by the family strolling past, they jumped straight from casual browsing to heavy-duty, heavy petting, even kicking their shoes off and zeroing in on a mattress to tie one out. That's insane. Seemingly oblivious to the nausea they were inflicting on nearby shoppers. Oh, it wasn't a pretty sight. Oh, I just saw still photos. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

The main event went unchallenged until four days later when a perturbed parent posted video proof online. What, they stayed there bumping for four days? No, like I'm trying to say here is that it just wasn't announced really for four days. Her child had originally spotted the amorous offenders and ran over the report. The couple looked outright disgusting. Yeah. Taking on the role of vigilante voyeur, the parent whipped out her phone and

captured the evidence. When the footage hit the internet, the public had a field day, of course. Commenters swiftly reminded the couple that the Swedish retail giant is not, in fact, a pay-by-the-hour motel with several suggesting IKEA should add no making out on the furnishings, warning on their diagrams to the standard instructional manuals. No, they shouldn't have to do that. You should just know that you shouldn't do that. I think most people are aware, right? Yeah. Just like you can't pee into the display toilets at Home Depot, I found out. The furniture store fornication could carry a heavy cost. Under their public indecency laws there, the Dum Dum's could face significant fines along

with up to a year in prison. Remarkably, this wasn't the chain's first encounter with customers using IKEA for retail raw dogging. In 2020, a woman in China filmed an X-rated video inside a busy IKEA store. The footage spread online showing the woman and her cameraman setting up in multiple locations throughout the store for an X-rated shoot. The adult film star and her cameraman

turned the busy IKEA store into an impromptu adult set setting up across multiple departments. She stripped down and performed a lot of solo acts. Inches away from customers just trying to pick out a bookshelf. She's not shy. Not at all.

The Swedish furniture company later said in a statement it was investigating that incident. A man in California got hacked Monday morning, but not the kind of hacking which involves passwords, fishing emails, or suspicious links in your inbox. It was a much more old-school operation, complete with a hatchet. The Fresno Police Department said officers were called about 7.42 a.m. for a report of a stabbing. When they showed up, they found the unlucky cyclist boasting some brand-new but unsolicited ventilation holes in his rib cage and back after the old-school hacker moat him down.

What the hell happened there? Police say the man and a friend were riding bikes in the area when another came out of a neighborhood and argued with them for some reason. The suspect pulled out a small hatchet and cut the victim multiple times. As of right now, still no word on where the resident lumberjack wandered off to. They said, again, completely unprovoked. They should find him. Well, they're looking.

Immediately. I mean, I think they're looking, I guess. Yeah, they're looking. I would assume they're looking. They're looking. They're looking. Try harder. Do a better job, you're saying?

Well, I don't know. He's got a hatchet. I don't want to go around that guy. Yeah, that's why they haven't caught him yet. They're like, I don't want to. That's something for a younger man. That's not my problem. Your weekly dose of optimism is back on the pitch today.

The season four premiere of the Emmy-winning Ted Lasso streams on Apple TV. Oh, love it. So excited. NBA legend Patrick Ewing, 64. Oh. Nick's childhood crush, Marsha on the Brady Bunch, Marine McCormick, 70. Still just, I'm very unsettled on Marsha.

She still got it. You still can't control yourself? Still drives me wild. She still got it. All this years later. And happy birthday to Friend of the Brotherhood and regular guest during the Randy Shaver segment, Brad Ryder. How old is he now? 55-ish.

That sounded rude. The way that came out of my mouth. Oh, God, he's still around? You know, I didn't even notice it. But you're right. That did some kind of room. Yeah, by bad. I'm sorry.

So sorry, Brad. I think he, well, we'll ask the prick. Yeah, I think he's right about your age, Nick. Yeah, he's a couple years older. A year or two older. We'll ask him. Okay. That's 93X News.

Banana ball. Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder on the half-ass morning show. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. So good. Happy birthday to Brad, happy birthday to Brad, happy birthday, dear lonely boy, happy birthday to Brad. Well, John Gruden just made my day.

How old are you today, Brad? I am 29 times two. Don't ask us to do it. Is that 58? 7.30 in the morning, Brad. 58, 58, 58, 58. You don't look at it. Fifty eight.

Just a 69 minus 11 Truthfully That's not just something I'm saying You don't look at Just an old pile of garbage Barely able to cross the room

Right That's outstanding Brad Ryder You know who I share a birthday with too My buddy Pat Well well yeah I guess so I didn't realize that Until three seconds ago

Who's that Brad Rider The Antman Oh, is today, Anthony Edwards. Yeah. What are you guys doing? You, him and Lamello going out? We're hanging out. Yeah, we're hanging out.

You got no business hanging out with the bang bros. How old is aunt today? 26, 7, 8, 9, 30, 31, 24. 25, it says you. That's crazy. Randy Shaver just said, I think, a couple of days ago, he is currently entering his seventh year in the national basketball. Can you believe that?

That's crazy. That ain't right. that ain't right Brad Ryder clean living I suppose is what's gotten you this far huh? I guess Clean living

Oh Brad Ryder You know who wants to wish you a happy birthday personally Okay This is very exciting No don't be scared Don't be nervous

You're gonna like it We learned just a few minutes ago That somebody wants to wish you a happy birthday personally and that individual is Paige Spiranak I mean No no I mean Throathausen.

We've never heard from Page Sparineck. Never once. I love that the big voice guy in that song, Josh, kind of sounds like the Moral Combat guy, Finish him. People have mentioned that. Yeah, Throathausen wanted to say, happy birthday to you.

Well, Paige Spirinett cannot. Then that's the second best thing. So actually the third best thing after John Bruton. So you anticipate? Peyton, you're going to get pinned tonight or what? Can you see a Steeler fan Jesus's text? Nick, I'm afraid to ask, but I think you could probably get away. Steelers fan Jesus has a question?

Oh, this is a fair question, I think, from Stiller's fan Jesus. He says the audience wants to know, can you still get it up? Oh, wow. Wow. We're fine. We're fine there. Don't worry about that. He's doing just fine.

Stillers fan, Jesus. You worry about your starting quarterback. That frigging idiot. Yeah. Can he get it up? Don't you worry about Brad Rider's sex life. That's why I said 29 times two. You worry about that gas bag that's leading your football team right now, you idiot.

Hey, why is he an idiot? Because he's a Stiller's fan. Ah. Is Randy Dobnack going to end up? being the new David Ortiz where people are going to wonder, are people going to wonder how the hell we let a guy like that get away from us? Yeah. God.

Did it to them again last night. Again, the twins faced the pimp with his new team behind them, the Kansas City Royals, and again, the pimp prevailed. And again, he prevailed over the guy that's supposed to be the twins' best starting pitcher, Joe's Ryan. Yeah. Should have traded him. So the final final last night was 8 to 2.

Joe Ryan gave up five runs. Four of them earned. Seven hits, five in a third. He looks tired again. I'm worried about Joe Ryan. He does look tired. He looks tired. I agree.

I watched some of it last night, and I just felt like he just wasn't, obviously wasn't sharp. Does he have that dead arm syndrome or whatever we hear about? He hasn't been good since the ulcer break. No, he hasn't. I mean, I know it's August in Kansas City, and that brings up images that.

Right. Randy Dobnack, one run on three hits over five, so he wasn't as dominant as he was last. But he got the win. He's 2-0. Yeah, and both wins against the twins this year. And he stopped a four-game Royals losing streak, which is what a good pitcher does. He puts a lid on the bad time. That's right.

The stopper. The stopper. In the rotation. And unfortunately for the twins, I think they've lost, what, three in a row now? They have. Three in a row now, yeah. They're a couple of games back. on the wild card.

There's two close losses in Seattle, but yes, it adds up to three losses. It's one of those things where you're scoreboard watching now because, you know, twins twins, you know, twins's right there. They're tied with the twins. Baltimore is only a game and a half back despite all the trades they made. Right. The tigers are only a game and a half out of the wild card. The tigers have not lost since they made that trade.

It's going to be a... They've won four in a row, yeah. The ass end of this baseball season is going to be a Bukaki party. It's going to be totally out of control. Especially for the wild card. The wild card in the American League is crazy because there's so many teams that are actually below 500 that have an opportunity to make the playoffs right now. The Blue Jays are 53 and 61 and only four games back.

Yeah. Yeah, and they traded away a bunch of people. people too. Hey, Royce Lewis went 4 for 4 last night. Anyway, game two tonight. The new guy, Dean Kremmer. Yes. Pitches, do you think maybe he was born Dean Kramer and his family did something about it?

I don't know. I would. Yeah. Maybe altered the pronunciation. I changed the pronunciation. He's going to get his first crack at pitching for the twins tonight since the trade we made, the twins made, with Baltimore. And just so people know, he's not.

been very good this year. No. I mean, his numbers are not very good. So hopefully tonight a change of scenery will make a difference tonight for him. So Randy's ex-boyfriend, Tarek Schuble, made his debut for the Los Angeles Dodgers last night, pitching at Wrigley Field against the Cubs. Yep. A plane flew overhead during the game with an anti-Dodgers banner swinging behind it.

And the sign said, the Dodgers ruined baseball. ball. Well, get used to it. Are we having fun now or what? There's going to be a lot of that, especially if they win the World Series. Well, it's not like the Cubs payroll is hurting for donations either. So it's a little ironic that flew over Wrigley. No, I didn't get any word on who's behind this. Maybe a local radio station in Chicago, maybe anyone get any word on who? They don't have money. That's true. Maybe it was a trade deal. There could be a realtor, you know.

Lindahl does that kind of stuff. A realtor. It could be a big realtor. Yep. Somebody paid for an old-timey plane to buzz over the top of Wrigley Field with a banner dragging behind it that says the Dodgers ruined baseball. That is, that's good times. I know we all like to trash on Wisconsin a little bit,

but if it does end up being the Brewers and the Dodgers and the NLCS, Will there be anybody outside of Dodgers fans that are cheering for the Dodgers in that series? A couple of douchebags. No. A couple of douchebags in that shit. Well, as of right now, there are three teams that are really stinking it up. And the Dodgers are one of them. They've lost five in a row.

The Nationals have lost seven in a row and the A's have lost six in a row. So the Dodgers have been struggling here. They've only won three of their last ten. F them. I'm kind of seeing some mortal play out of the Dodgers right now. Well, there's no show high on the bump, right? Yeah. What's the long-haired kid again?

Glass now, he's not pitching. Well, Blake Snell. Snell's not pitching. But Snell is about to return. He's been throwing a couple of rehab assignments, and he's been really good. So he's probably a week away from jumping into that rotation. I mean, we all pretty much knew the gist, but I did see an article yesterday that noted that the Los Angeles Dodgers,

now with Tyler, not Tyler, but Tarek Scouble in the mix, they now have a pitching rotation that is worth more than 19 entire Major League baseball teams. Again, that's just insane. And that's why baseball. is in the spot that they're in and it probably will be a long disastrous strike and this and that. Well, we say disastrous

Nick, but I think that's being short-sighted. I think a strike and a revamped economic system in baseball for the long term of the game is the best thing that could happen. Oh, of course.

Yeah. Some of the work stoppages that we've seen in the history of sports haven't been productive and they've been petty, but this one I think will be in the long run, and it's probably worth it. We all hope so. Yeah. All right. A scandal is currently tearing the women's bicycle racing community to pieces.

Two pieces. There's an all-female bicycle race going on right now called the Tour de France Femmes. Femmes, Tour de France, Femmes, I don't know, I don't speak French. And it's being rocked by a performance-enhancing controversy. Well, the women aren't being accused of juicing. They're being accused of stuffing their bras.

This is becoming all too common, isn't it? I mean, there was the ski jumper scandal where they were stuffing their crotches. Oh, right. Now the bra padding issue. I had forgotten. about that. Take me back to the ski jumping gimmick from the

Olympics, so ski jumpers were wearing oversized suits to create more especially there was a lot of room in the crotch. Yep. And maybe they were putting tube socks and dirty t-shirts down there, right?

Yep. To create more drag so they'd hang in the air a little longer when they'd launch off that ramp. That's right. Okay. These lady bicycle racers in French are stuffing their bras. So the gimmick is a larger rack can give a cyclist an aerodynamic advantage. There are rules against clothing modifications. But according to what I'm reading, it's barely being enforced. But yesterday, the officials involved in this bicycle race have promised

to do some more thorough inspections of the ladies before they... Sure. I've seen you take on that roll. Or attempt to. They promised to look a little closer as to what these gals are stuffing into their t-shirts to make sure they're not... Oh, it says right here, Josh. This sounds like something you would say.

They want to make sure the ladies aren't... misrepresenting their bosoms. Is this some crooked BS or what? Who would even come up with something like that? I'm trying to picture how that would work. So if you got a big old fat rack hanging down and you're leaned over the front, what do they call these things in a bicycle?

Handlebar? Leading over the handlebar? I mean, how does that? But they claim it's more aerodynamic that way and the women are cheating. I wonder if implants would do the same thing or maybe there must be something different. different there. Well, this sport may never recover. But you're right. It is similar to that

ski jumping Johnson controversy. The Swiss guy would hit the ramp and they go, holy balls, is that guy packing heat, right? And then he lands and they inspect him. Oh, he's got a salami down there. That one's funnier to me. Right? Yeah, it is funnier. Yeah. That's more silly. And, you know, he goes sailing by, oh, walk proud, man, walk proud. But it's all fake. They're stuffing things down the... A soccer game in Brazil had to be delayed for a while after a parrot upped and attacked one of the players. Now, I suppose in Brazil, there are parrots hanging around everywhere, it's just naturally.

Around here, you'd assume that a parrot escaped your neighborhood car wash, right? Yeah. But in Brazil, there's parrots just naturally everywhere. I don't know that firsthand. I'm just assuming that. So this was a kid's soccer game. It doesn't sound to me like this was anything that mattered. But the video is kind of funny. It's on 93x.com.

Check out the vid. This parrot swooped down out of nowhere and knocked a kid on his ass. And that kid ended up with the parrot diarrhea in his hair. Oh, no. Have ever seen anybody get pooped on? Yeah. By a bird, I should say specifically. Yes.

My motor vehicle seems to be a toilet for the... I've noticed that. Your car is a target. Yeah. I get just... I get to... They just repaint this on bitch. One of my grandmas, if there was a picnic, she was going to get pooped down.

She considered it good luck. She had a good sense of humor about it. But boy, I've never seen anybody be that much of a target. Did the soccer player grab his ankle after he got pooped on? Stay down for a while. Roll around. They bring that magic spray out and all things magically better. I'll show you some magic spray.

This video is fun. Oh, man. Okay. Abra-cadabra! It's magic. The referee... What happened? I've never heard him hesitate like that.

Like a false start. neighbor walked in. He was trying. Oh, he had to. He had a restore. Oh, geez. Sorry about that. I thought I was alone.

So again, a parrot swoops down out of nowhere at a soccer game in Brazil. Knocks a kid down, greases his hair. The referee stopped the game until the bird moved on somewhere else. It took about 50 minutes for the bird to fly away. And then it came back. What? It did. But then it left again.

Did we cover? this? It says six months ago in Turkey, a seagull was hit by the ball during a soccer game. I don't think so. It doesn't ring a bell. Players from both sides rushed over to help the bird. A player began performing CPR on the bird.

That does sound familiar now. It does actually, yeah. Pressing on its little chest. Yes, you know, we did talk about that. Did he put his mouth to the beak and blow some air into the, what says here, a player... I hope so. A player performed CPR on the bird, then he picked it up, carried to the sideline, put it in a trash can.

Oh. It was dead. Well, at least he tried. Remember when you saw that deer in a porta potty? Yes. That was something. Yeah, it was. Remember that time?

Remember that time? Remember that time? Yeah. I'm the only swing and be in town who answers yes to that question. Do you remember the time you saw a deer and the bottom of a porta-potty. Yes, I do remember that. There's no one else who can say that. All right, speaking of soccer, the silliness that was that World Cup has come and gone mercifully. Most of us never really noticed it was here, but that's because it was a soccer tournament.

Anyways, here's the deal. Four cities here in the United States of America are still waiting to receive their FIFA money. So apparently, good luck. Apparently there was some sort of promise from FIFA. That's the folks who organize soccer. There was some sort of promise from FIFA to make what they called a, quote, legacy contribution

aimed at growing the sport in these American cities. They made this promise to 11 American cities. Four of them say they are still waiting for their million dollars, but the payments still haven't arrived.

And it says here, don't count on it. They got nothing in writing. This was a handshake agreement. That made me laugh out loud when I read that detail. You don't get something in writing from FIFA? You're not getting anything. Are they known to be shady? Oh, my goodness.

The most corrupt thing in all of sports. Oh, I didn't know that. You're talking about a million dollars, don't you get it in writing? I don't care who it's coming from. I mean, good grief. No writing. Just a handshake. So those cities are probably S-O-L.

Yeah, it says here FIFA is a notoriously corrupt organization. So they're going to have to just eat it. On this date, in the history. Here's a little trivia for Brad Ryder and Randy Shaver. Oh, in 1976 on this date, August 5th, the NBA merged with the American Basketball Association, absorbing their four most successful teams. Name the teams. New Jersey Nets.

At the time, they were the New York Nets, but I'll call that close enough. San Antonio? San Antonio Spurs is correct. You're down to two teams remaining that were absorbed by the NBA. Denver. The Denver Nuggets and the Flint Tropics. No, we saw the documentary.

Indiana? Indiana. The Indiana Pacers. I love the ABA. I know you did. I loved the ABA. I followed the ABA more than I followed the NBA at some points when I was growing up.

Was it Dr. J. that did it for you? You know, it was David Thompson. I was a big David Thompson fan. Dan Issel? Right. It was the basketball, really, Nick? Yeah. The red, white, and blue basketball. Oh.

You were just a kid, so you thought, wow, a red, white, and blue basketball. I love that. In fact, I can remember getting it for Christmas. I was just, I was a huge ABA guy. Then what do you got against the XFL football? Why do you got to? I don't have anything against the XFL. Yeah, the ABA.

It was fun. Yeah, yeah. Some great characters came from the ABA. We named a couple of them. I do like that movie, though. That was fantastic. semi-pro. Everybody love everybody.

It's only 11 hours to go. That's my favorite scene from the movie. I know that you're not the greatest Will Ferrell fan. I mean, yeah, it's a hit or miss for me. I'm watching his current show on Netflix. The Hawk? The Hawk.

I'm sorry, but there are times I am busting out, laughing out loud. There are some really funny scenes, and you can tell that the vast majority of this whole thing is just ad-lib. They've probably done 20 different takes for different scenes, and there's some parts of it that are really funny. I have to ask you, do they get better after the first one? It does.

It does. Because I watched the first one, and I wasn't necessarily impressed, and I haven't picked it up since then. I felt the same way. Again, Brad, it's kind of like Anchorman. I think the more you watch it and understand the character, the more you get into it. I think I have two episodes left,

and I have laughed through quite a few of them. I'll keep giving it another show. Funny, funny, funny moments. I got no problem with Will Ferrell. It's just some of his characters are wildly funny, and others I want to crawl into the television and choke him to death. Sure, sure. It's just how there's something about him.

what's it called the new show the hawk oh right he's a wacky ex-gulfer yeah yeah right yeah yeah oh sure what else is going on what is this supposed to mean we had that soccer story a minute ago about that bird and a player tried to save a bird's life underwhelmingly optimistic jesus says that josh's mother performed CPR and his bird last week week. What the hell is that? I was worried somebody's going to make a rooster reference in there somewhere. He's referring to his Johnson as a bird? Oh, no. Or a cockatoo or something. Oh, my God. Did you, a baseball note from last night? Did you happen to see the Lombard brothers story last night? No. Okay, so two brothers made their professional baseball debut.

last night. On the same night, obviously different teams. George Lombard Jr. for the New York Yankees. He sounds like he's from the 40s or something. George Lombard Jr. Yep. He's really one of the rising stars of baseball. And his brother was just drafted in July by the Miami Marlins, and he made his Class A debut. They both hit almost identical home runs last night. an hour apart. Really?

So the parents were sitting at the Yankees game and watched the 21-year-old against the Cardinals. But an hour before that, they were on their phones watching the younger brother hit his home run in Class A last night. So I thought that was pretty funny, pretty cool. That's like cosmic. Yes. That that would happen.

Keep that name in mind. though, George Lombard Jr. He's going to be a superstar in this league. He's really good. That's funny because I was just looking at an article about great brother combinations in the history of Major League Baseball. Now, a lot of these names go back to the friggin' 20s.

Oh, yeah. And they wouldn't mean Dick Tracy to any of us. But some of the others that are in here. The Boyers have to be a part of that, right? Boyer? The Boyers? Cleet Boyer. Oh, Cleet Bowler. I haven't thought of those. Yeah. Cleet, Ken, and

there was one other. Yeah. Cleet, Ken, and... Well, the Alloo Brothers, for sure. Yeah, but let's not move on until we figure out who was that last Boehier. Cleet, Ken, and there's a really weird first name. The other one had a really weird first name. Yeah, I don't recall. Someone find that for us.

The Boyer Company, the brothers in Major League, they played in the 50s. It was like, claw, not even Claude. It was weirder than Claude. Ken, Cleet, and... Cloid? Cloid. Cloid, you're right. Cloid.

D-L-O-Y-D. Yeah. You ever known anyone, Josh, named Coyd? No, it sounds like they misspelled it and the birth certificate and just went with it. Yeah, the Boyers. I forgot about, I knew there was a weird name in there. I mean, Cleet's weird enough, but then you go to... Right. Okay, yeah, I mean, Joe DiMaggio had a couple of brothers, Vince and Dom.

The Martinez brothers, Ramone and Pedro. Oh, sure. The Nicos. Jim and Gaylord Perry, Palli, Madyaloo, Hesu. Well, the twins have the Rogers. Right, Taylor and Tyler. Right. Like again, some of these guys are from the dawn of time.

The Molina brothers. Molinas. Yadier and Jose. The Contreras brothers are playing right now. Wilson and William in Major League Baseball. Orlando and Levan Hernandez, Roberto and Sandy Alamar, Kyle and Corey Seeger, George and Ken Brett. I'd completely forgotten about Ken Brett, Justin and B.J. Upton. There you go.

Yeah. You know who died? Dory Funk Jr. I loved the Funk family in television wrestling. Boy, he made it a long time for a wrestler. Is he 85? 85. Dory Funk Jr., which would be Terry's brother.

And Terry died. Oh, how many years ago now? About three years. Has it only been three years? Oh, wow. It feels longer ago. 2023, yeah. God, dang, it feels longer ago.

than that. All of them WWE Hall of Famers. I mean the Funk family, speaking of, you know, siblings and family, they were just some of the toughest, craziest bastards that ever. Dory Sr.

Poor guy. I mean, it's kind of a wonder that Terry lived to be 79. Dory Jr. lived to be 85. Dory Sr. died at 53, I think, of a heart attack. Wow.

while he was teaching wrestling moves at their farm in Texas. 53. He was a pro athlete. So maybe there was some underlying Dory Jr. who just passed at 85. He trained Kurt Angle. He trained Edge. He trained Christian.

He trained the Hardy Boys. That's pretty impressive. Oh, B-dipped. All right. Everyone's settled in now because this is going to be a poke. according to a website called Bro Bible. First off, is anyone playing with themselves just yet over the anticipation of the college football season?

Not yet. No? Not quite there yet. No. When did the Golden Golfers play their first game? A couple of weeks? I think because Labor Day is so late, I wonder if it's like September 3rd.

Yeah, you're not lying. Labor Day is basically in October this year. Yeah, Labor Day is really late this year. So I think the entire football calendar is shifted into September, not really into August. The Golden Gophers don't play any games in August? September 3rd is their first game. Yeah, Labor Day is late this year. High school football in Minnesota this year, MEEA week, which is normally the last week of the regular season. That's actually Week 7 in high school.

school football this year. All right. Because of Labor Day being so late. Ah, good. They get more of a summer. I saw it. What are you going back to school or something? Are you enrolled in classes somewhere?

Not really. School still start the same amount of time. We just start a little earlier. That's all. Friggin' school. That was for the birds. Anyway, this is, according to Brobibyl, this is the college football

all-name team for the 20 and 26 season. The peckerheads over there at Bro Bible. I mean, I read the full article and the author said, he scrolls through every roster up and down. It about kills him. But he's dedicated to putting together the greatest, the best, the funniest names on college football rosters for this year upcoming season.

Starting with Booby Feaster from a Southern Cow. King Large. Sir Bible. De Realist Clark. De icy Hopkins. Rocky Bears. Grant Beerman.

Gumbo Gaskins. Sounds like a character of a load of the range. I love that. McAvelli Molotumo. Diesel Gordon. Racine Delgado.

I had a dog named Diesel. once. It was cool. That's a cool dog name. I guess it was like a dog by relationship, but yeah, cool dog. Named that for Vin? Uh, no. No. No. I don't think so. A lot. Legend Bay. Prayer Young Black Goat. Look for him, Arizona State linebacker. Prayer is the first name, last name, young black goat. Rino Tapatoui. Brandon Gana smoothie I don't even

That's a mouthful What was it Brendan Ghana smoothie There's an R in there Gana smoothy Gna smoothy Blazine long-o-wang

That's a cool That's a cool name Not as cool as the next one Oh you can't Oh it gets better I mean there is nothing cooler What Then this offensive lineman

that's going to be playing football for Penn State this fall. Cool, cool. Cool, cool. Cool, bro. If I was him, every time I signed my name, I would just write cool to the power too. That's fancy. That would be so fun.

I'd love that. And this guy is cool, cool, cool, the second. He's the son of cool cool cool cool cool. Dude, that's so sweet. There's two cool cool cool cool cool cool. Yes, there's Cool, Cool, Cool, the original. This kid is Cool, Cool, Cool, Jr., the second. mimicking, cool, cool would be a cornerback playing for the University of Memphis, whose name is Ellis, Ellis Jr.

Dalton Toothman, Harry Hassman. Ah, that was unfortunate. One of my friends. Oh, sure. Hype grand. Major pride. Cool. Mojo starts out hot, doesn't it, Josh?

Yeah, I like that one. This is a wide receiver playing at Troy. Mojo, Dorch. It kind of goes the other way there, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Dorch. God's power, Nahui. William Hathcock.

Is that so? I hope so. Again, these are the funniest, most unique, most original names for the upcoming college football season. Oh, Covey, let's continue here with Isaiah Bullardick. Oh, no. Leonard A. You. Leonard A. You, A. You, Ayara.

Boy, this kid's parents were on the Internet, weren't they? Legend journey. That's terrible. Legend journey. Sorry, but it is. Some of these are so difficult. I'm trying my best. You're doing good.

Some of these I'd be nervous to even try. Rusty Van Wetzinger. I like the name Rusty Van Wetzenga. Is a fullback at Central Michigan. Halakalangi, Muagatutti. University of California, Los Angeles long snapper. Halla Kalangi, Muagatutti. This might be the toughest one of all.

Aitor is the first name. Aator. Urin Barrett Chechaia. Aator, urine bearer Chechaea. No one's getting past urine. Elijah Little John. You can, Ali. What's your name?

Ashley. With some practice, you can get past it. Air Noland. Jet Walker, Nitro Tuggle, Clet Forest, Turbo Richard. They call them Turbo. Turbo Dick, right? There's no way in a football locker room you're going to be called Turbo Richard without everyone calls you Turbo Dick.

Yeah, they're calling them Turbo Dick. I don't get it. Don't think about those kind of things before. I mean, at least I did before we named our son. We went through everything that could possibly be a bad nickname. Like, okay, what are the initials? What does it rhyme with? Any form of slang?

Does it mean something in another language? Do people not do that? Some folks just pump them out, put a name tag on them and move on with their lives. It's a family name. Oh, yeah. Now, this one's really interesting. He's a long snapper from the University of Houston. I wonder if there's some kind of a connection here because his name is Jack Carson Wentz.

Oh, wow. It'd be kind of weird if there wasn't a connection. And we'll wrap it up with Cash Cleveland. C.J. Clink scales, Jr. and Logo, logo, VA. How's that spelled? The name, Ashley. Logo, logo. Lovo, logo. Last name.

VA, apostrophe A. Oh, my. What happened? Someone just got their head kicked off. It's the name. That's perfect. How did you notice that? That's awesome.

Got a lot of sympathy for some of the announcers having to navigate these names on a weekly basis. Holy balls. I would give up. You just got to go with the first name and just go with it. Some of the first names were a little difficult, too. You just pray that they're not really good so you don't have to talk about them much. I feel for sometimes with hockey announcers, I feel for them, too.

They can be tough. One more little college football story for you. You like this. The University of Akron football program, tops in the country, year after year. They're the Zips, aren't they? They are. Gophers play them this year.

Nice. The Akron Zips, official Twitter station, whatever you call it in the business. They announced a promotion called Offensive Coordinator of the Game. Ooh, and everyone can get involved in this now, long as you're a season ticket holder to the Akron Zips,

your name goes into a bucket, and apparently one lucky season ticket holder will be able to script the club's opening drive during their home opener against somebody. What? I can't imagine the coaching staff is allowing a fan to scum. They're stressed out.

It says nothing about that they're going to use it. Just wait, Brad Rider. I don't care if it's your birthday. You've got to wait. So again, any season ticket holder can throw their name in the box, the bucket. They're going to draw one name before the home opener. And that lucky prick will be able to script the opening drive. Now, the jokes were flying online, as you might imagine.

All kinds of people were responding to this. one guy I got a kick out of this guy he said okay if it's me I want to dive up the middle first down dive up the middle second down we're diving up the middle again

third down we're handing it to the fullback dive up the middle fourth down Hail Mary that sounds like how I play Madden where the crowd's like Jesus this is boring wait a minute they're going for it on fourth

there's five receivers there? Would your offense make the field Nick or it would be all your kicking team? I know how you love the kicking team. I love special teams. Now, a few people, Josh, said, I hope the crowd doesn't mind, but we're going for a college football record field goal on first down.

We're going for an 85-yarder. That's awesome. Piss on it. You've got to do something like that, right? Or suggest it. I imagine, so I imagine they like give them like some plays to pick from. Here's the truth, smash. Like number one through five or something dumb. She's the type that searches for the truth,

and now I've got to dump it on you. I'm a truther. Brad Ryder sounded like he had his doubts. The real deal is, yes, a fan will be drawn. Their name will be drawn. But then flatliners that they are at Akron University, they will sit that fan down with the head coach. And they will come to some happy,

medium wear. That sounds absolutely miserable. I don't want anything to do with that. For the coach, that's even worse. What's worse about that? He's going to go sit with the coach. Oh, no. Maybe the coach is a nice guy.

I know, but I just don't want to do these. Now I've got to go, like, do work. I got to have a meeting, and then he's just going to be, like, all of this sucks. He shoots down my idea to run the annexation of Puerto Rico on first down. Well, the offensive coordinator probably sits with the head coach, wouldn't you think? Yeah, that's just, I mean, of course. It sounds so funny. Of course it's not as cool a scenario as truly having full control of the offense.

But they're going to sit the guy down with the head coach, and the head coach and this fan will choose some plays that currently exist. That's not going to happen. What do you mean it's not going to happen? The head coach, can you imagine? He ain't got time for that? Yeah, that's no way. This isn't Notre Dame, you jabronies. This is a university.

It's funny if it was like 15 minutes before game time and he's sitting there with some Dirkie fan. I'm looking up who they're playing in their first game because I want to know. Robert Morris. That's got to be a home game too. One guy. They're playing against one guy. Bob Morris.

What if they find a savant? He's just a genius. This dude is the new. That's what they make movies out. Yeah, he's like Will Hunting. The kids drawing plays on the coach's desk. No, I think you should do it this way. He's the second coming of Bill Walsh.

They find this offensive. Yeah, I feel like this is just going to end in him having like arguments with these fans. They're going to sit the guy down with the coach and the coach will say, you look, you know, choose from this one, this one, this one, and this one. Okay, that's what we'll do on first. I'm sure they'll have fun with it. All these suck. You suck. They lose and the coach blames it on the guest offensive coordinator for the game.

By the time they play the golfers on September 19th. this fan will be on the sidelines wearing a headspace. So, yeah, at the University of Akron Zips football program sent out a statement, they said, look, we know we're Akron, but we're not frigging stupid. We're not really going to give the reins to some drunk from our season ticket holder group. But if they did, boy, that would be a riot. I always love the old hook and ladder. Oh, sure.

I guarantee I'm running a hook and lock. ladder if I got full power of an offensive unit. I saw a few people on Twitter saying it'd be nothing but flea flickers. Just over and over and over and over. Flea flickers, fun. Double reverses. Randy Shaver and Brad Reader might remember this, that historic AFC playoff game, I'm going to say 82, 83.

That marathon playoff game between Air Cori-L and the San Diego Chargers and Don Shula and the Miami Dolph. At the time, it was like the longest, most heroic playoff game in football history since then it's been topped as far. You know, you guys know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah. I remember the player. Kellyn Winslow had to be dragged off the field in an ambulance.

I mean, because the players were so exhausted. One of my fondest memories of growing up a football fan, that playoff game. Yes, you remember that Brad Rider? The dolphins pulled a hook and ladder. I believe Don Stroke was that quarterback. I want to say Mark Duper made the catch and he tossed it to Tony Nathan. who went down the... That's when I fell in love with the hook and ladder.

Flea Flickers always fun. The Bumarouski, I'm sure as hell running the Bumaruski. Made famous by Bum Phillips and the Houston Oilers back in the day. I think the final was 41 to 38, San Diego. If you're a young person and you don't know what we're talking about, look up that playoff game on YouTube. That was when football was a beautiful thing. Broadcast team that day.

Hit me with it. Was Don Cricky? Two. And John Brody. That was the broadcast team on NBC. Don Cricky, checking in live here from Miami, Florida. John Brody, the former 49ers quarterback. Yeah, the Bummeruski worked every time, too.

Wow. Can I tell you my Bum Phillips line again? The funniest thing the man ever said, and he was a very funny guy, bum Phillips. A reporter once asked Bum Phillips. They were prepping for a game against Distillers. It was an AFC Central matchup. And the reporter asked Bum Phillips. Why do you bring your wife on every road trip?

And Bum Phillips said, direct quote, no kidding. Because she's too ugly to kiss goodbye. No. That's, no. Well, here's something. and happy before we leave. Don Cricky is still with us. Dude. Wow. Wow.

He's 85. He's got the record for the longest tenured NFL broadcaster in TV history called NFL football for 47 seasons. Did he really? More so than Dick Enberg? 47 seasons from 1967 until 2013. That's

amazing. True story. And this was another Miami Dolphins game. This was the early 90s, though. As they went to commercial after Keith Byers scored an exciting touchdown to give Miami the lead as they went to commercial. What did I just say his name was? Dick Enberg. Dick Enberg shouted into the microphone, is there anything more beautiful than a pregnant woman? It's a true story. And then we're right to commercial? Yep, and then they went to commercial. To tell you the background on that would be too clear. I want you to stay confused. That's what he said as they

went to commercial. All right, we got to go, gentlemen. Happy birthday, Brad. Thank you. I hope you get that BJ. Wow. Air conditioning, the love of my life. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. What's going on to Habs podcasters? We're getting into that soupy part of the summer

when your air conditioning is going to be holding on for dear life. That's where our friends at Standard heating and air conditioning come into play. If your AC is out, you shouldn't have to wait. Standard prioritizes homes without cooling, so they got your back. With over 70 trucks on the road, they're ready to make you comfortable fast. Ah, that's better. Schedule now at standardheating.com, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help.

Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to bialkylaw.com. That's bia-l-l-k-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. The U.S. Soccer Podcast.

I'm your host Megan Klingeberg. And after interviewing so many dudes during this men's World Cup, I'm so happy to be back with my U.S. women's national team players. I know the U.S. men's national team has changed how I think about myself, how I think about being an American, how I think about being on a team. It's one year out from that World Cup, and we're going to talk about the brightest prospects in U.S. soccer. You ready?

I'm ready. Let's do it. The U.S. Soccer podcast. Presented by Henko. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. The Half-Ass Morning Show. Minnesota's. 93X.

That's incredible. It is incredible to be here with all you derelicks out there. In our listening audience, it's incredible. Thanks for flipping the dial in our direction here on the 93X. morning show. Look at this. It's 831. Cubby? Yes, sir. It's time to play this or that. Are you ready?

A little bit of this, a little bit of that. You know where this came from, where this little game came from, Josh? Ashley? The internet. Oh. I was just the funnel. Ashley printed it, I suppose, directly, technically. Hand delivered.

It's time to play this or that. And begin. Josh. Yes. Would you rather have unlimited free soda pop? Soda pop. Or unlimited free gas! Gas! Oh, but you could fuel your diet rip beer craving if you had unlimited soda.

I do miss having a few beers every night. You could go back. Gas is very, very expensive as we all know, but by damn, does Covey like to have himself a soda now and again? Yeah, I wonder what diet do is per gallon. Maybe I'd have to rethink that. To me, it seems silly. Of course, you're going to take gas. You ready to play this or that?

Yeah. We continue on. We continue on. You never wait in line again for any damn thing. Or you never hit another red light. Never hit another red light. Oh, but lines stop. Yeah, I'd go lines 100%.

I like waiting in lines. What if you make a friend? You know, that's true. I have me. made friends while waiting in line for things. But, like, I think of all the things I don't know about you guys. Maybe you, Josh, it sounds like you don't mind waiting in a long line, but there's so many things that I've missed trying or doing because I don't want to wait in a line.

You know who I've run into once or twice when waiting in a long line? Who? A line cutter. The worst. I've experienced that. What's the name of the game? What are we playing, Josh? This or that?

All right. All right. You ready? Yeah. Free groceries for life. or free vacations. You know, your old lady has been turning the screws on you for the last couple of years saying, we need to go on vacation.

Our whole marriage, I've been able to withhold it. You've finally given in on that. She's leaving this weekend. Free groceries for life. Groceries. Easy. Now, that might cost some strife at home, but not having to pay for groceries. Boy, you'd really start putting on weight then, wouldn't you?

Free groceries. Oh, dude. I get so fat. There's my beers. Yeah, get your beers back. Them root beers. If you're on vacation all the time, you don't need groceries for your house. Oh, yeah.

Look at you. That's a good point. Thanks. Now you threw a monkey wrench into the whole operation. I'm still going to groceries. I love to eat. That's the only joy I get in life outside of spending time with you. The thing is that you wouldn't like get adventurous.

You would just be eating your spaghetti and. That's true. I eat the same thing. Maybe with some like nicer meat, I guess. I'm easy to please. Yeah, your enchiladas per year, Josh, is out of control. I got some waiting for me at home. Spaghetti and enchiladas.

That's pretty much all I eat. I got to throw a vegetable in every once in a while. This or that? Yes. Fruit maybe. Ah, we know this one. Knowing how you operate daily. This or that perfect weather every day or perfect sleep every night.

Sleep every night, yeah. Always find parking. Okay, that one sucks. Actually, I like that one. We already covered checkout line. and I figured why. It's similar, but parking. Always find parking or always have the shortest checkout line.

I'm at the age where I consider parking anytime there's something somebody wants to do. Yeah, you do. Let's not go there because the parking. Don't invite me to the cities. Don't invite me to the cities. Don't parking shape. I'm not parking on the street. I have too many friends like that.

They're like, well, what's the parking situation going to be like? Do they have trucks? Because I really think if you have a truck, it matters a little bit more because you can't. You can't fit in a. Most of the street parking Like some of the parking lots are a little tough and heavy. Yeah. You do consider parking. I hear you bring it up a lot.

You bring it up a lot. At my mother's a funeral, you said, yeah, I'll be there, but is the parking kind of a pain in the ass? That's not true. It wasn't. It was very easy. Give up your, okay, we just covered food a little bit. What do we do food-wise? Oh, free groceries or free vacations, and

we talk about, give up your favorite food forever or give up your favorite television show forever. television. Oh, no more landman. Yeah, I love land. I'll just ask you guys. You're watching a landman?

I'm not going to tell you. Yeah, I watched Landman. What? You wouldn't? No. I would for you. That's the deal you made. I always tell you shows you might like.

Lose your sense of taste. This or that is what we're playing here with Cubby. Lose your sense of taste or lose your sense of smell? Smell? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I lost some sense of taste, though.

I feel like I'd lose some weight. Do you think so? Yeah. I know a couple people that during when they had COVID and they lost their taste. They were just eating like regular chicken and just unseasoned broccoli because why even... Yeah, what's the difference?

You know, it's a crappy food. This show could stand to lose some weight. There's no question about it. All right. Always be slightly too hot. Oh, God, I'm so hot. Just slightly. Oh, always be slightly too hot, Josh, or always be slightly too cold? Ooh, I'm so cold. Another easy

one. Slightly too cold. Yeah. Why? Oh, I would eventually go insane if I was slightly too hot all the time. No more Megadeth or no more Mr. Big? Next question. No more Megadeth or no more Mr. Big? This or that? This is the worst situation I've ever been in.

All right, wait on that one. No more basketball shorts or no more indoor shoes? Basketball shorts. No more basketball shorts. Wow. I didn't know you had that type of relationship with your indoor shoes. No more. of death or no more Mr. Big?

Come on, man. No more sports on television or no more movie series, ever. No more sports on television. Movie series. Again, I'll ask Ashley. Yeah, I think that's right. You can never swear again

or you can never again tell a lie. You know, that's an easy one for me. I actually, I was going to tell you guys this. A cursing is so much fun. I'm not. as into it as you guys are. But I was going to tell you guys off air, I said something earlier on here that I regret.

I meant to say for cripes sake, but I went for it by accident. And I feel bad about saying that. Oh, my gosh. I feel like that maybe shouldn't have been doing it. It takes me back to when I was a kid, and I would say, oh, my God. And my parents would be like,

do not use the Lord's name vain. And they gave up on that pretty fast. That was beaten into me. This or that here on the Half-Ass Morning Show was brought to you by Hogbauer Automotive, 3rd Avenue and Main Street. Yeah, I guess, I mean, you try not to be too much of a swearer. Yeah, I do my best.

People are saying, hey, if you can't smell, you can't taste. I didn't make it up. I didn't make this list up. I had to answer one way or the other. Right, I had that thought. No more Megadeth or no more Mr. Big? Next question. You want to hear about some new tech.

What would you do out of cute? Well, those aren't your two favorite. I know you have much love for them. But they're up there. If you were throwing it at me, no more Megadeth or No More Midgeth? No more Mr. Big. That's an absolutely impossible question. That's why I got a kick out of asking you get to you.

But now that it's in my lap, I mean, Paul. Impossible. Paul Gilbert. You know what I choose? I choose unga bunga. Me too. All right. Would you like to hear about some new technology, a new product?

I love talking about this stuff. Do you? I wonder if this is what you're picturing. Maybe technology isn't the right word. Oh, darn. I'm picturing. I thought maybe it was one of those cool conventions I came to town. And they had like all the, you know, we go through that, I think once a year when the convention goes on. Josh, you probably know what it's called. What the hell are we talking about?

It's like the technology. Consumer electronics. Yeah, I love when that happens. I'd like to go to that someday. I mean, and also NAM, I think it's called. That's not exactly where I was going with this, but maybe you might see this product at a, what did you call it? Like a tech convention. might see this because there is some innovation involved. I'll just get to it. Well, first up, I think it's kind of silly because it says here there's a new shirt. It's expensive right now

because it's brand new. There's a new shirt that you can wear for a month without washing. Well, hell, I got a lot of those already. This is nothing new for me. I almost never wash clothes. I'm with you on that. But if you're the type that feels like you always got to put your clothes in the wash and scrub them up. I wore it once. I better throw it in the law. My wife's like that. I am too with my shirts. I mean, I could wear it like a couple days in a row, but by like the third day.

You know what? It's questionable. I was such a sucker as a young person. And I'm talking about like junior high high school. When I'd wear a pair of pants or a t-shirt, I thought, well, that's it. Gotta wash it. I don't know why. Maybe because my mom...

That's what my parents did. Maybe I was probably just mimicking what my mother did. Because now, I mean, I, unless I sweat my ass out, like yard work, is probably the only answer where then those clothes go into the laundry. Other than that, it just goes right back in the shelf. I never wash clothes. I don't know why. Well, we already answered the question. I was probably just following the lead from my parents that you needed to wash your clothes every time.

after you wear them. It's just silly and wasteful. And you know how dialed in I am to the environment and whatnot. Oh, yeah. Anyway, there's a new shirt they say you can wear for a month without washing. And they go on and on about they use special ingredients copper, silver, zinc, gold, volcanic ash

and two secret ingredients that they didn't reveal. What's the company called here? I have it somewhere. I want it just because of volcanic ash. Herklion? Herklion. created this t-shirt. It will remain odor-free for more than a month while wearing it, even if you wear it every day.

Let's test. I need to test it now. They say even on hot summer days, you can wear this friggin' shirt. It'll never smell like garbage. And again, they've got all these special ingredients. Kind of like those silly-ass drawers we hear about, I don't know, twice a year, about, you know, with the, what are they put in the back of the drawers that are supposed to never. Oh, the butt muffler, they call it the carbon? Carbon, that's exactly.

Is carbon the right thing? I believe so. Yeah. Carb. I think that sounds right to me. They say, here's a pair of drawers. You can fart in for months. It's just disgusting.

So similar to that. Yeah, here's a guy that says, you know, not a lot of us sweat for a living. Yeah. I mean. Yeah, that's why I wouldn't. That's my deal. I mean, unless I'm outdoors doing something in the yard, I'm a lucky guy. Every time we talk about this, I realize I just.

Like it just is a reminder how bad I sweat, just living my life. I don't have that problem. Yeah, I have to wash my pants every time I wear them. I guess the only thing that I don't wash every single day is my towels. Oh, God, yeah, I've got a towel. It's hanging right now on its own. Oh, no. Standing up against the wall.

Nasty. I'll tell you right now, I don't need a new towel. I don't. Roastmaster Jesus says the hunting industry has had odor neutralizing. clothes for over 10 years. Oh, that's so true. People who they're cracking themselves while they hunt? I never thought.

So the deer can't smell. The animals can't smell you. I got you. All right. So these shirts supposedly last longer because they're not being washed and dried over and over and over and over again like I did as a stupid high school kid. They're not cheap because it's the latest thing.

So they're always going to try to rake you over the coals for the price. $149. I didn't realize it was that bad. So people are saying it's charcoal that you put back there behind your beholder. I swear to Christ, we've also heard carbon. Yeah, I can't remember. I don't think there's one direct, correct answer.

I think we can go with both. What's the one that you grill hamburger's over? That's carbon correct? Yeah. $149 for a T-shirt. Right. It's stupid. But this is, again, the shirt you can wear for months on end,

sweat your balls off sideways, and it's never going to smell bad because they put all this. Hopefully you're not allergic to copper, silver, zinc, gold, volcanic ash, or the secret ingredients that they don't reveal. They say they'll be available in early November if anybody wants to pounce on this. Oh, just in time for Christmas. Oh, and listen to this. The T-shirts come in three colors.

Navy blue. Okay, sure. Classic. Dark green and burgundy? Oh, come on. Are you trying to... Have they ever heard of black or white? Are you trying to get my ass kicked?

Yeah. Why are the three colors, navy, blue, burgundy, and dark green when they could be blue, gray, black, white? That part throws me. Weird. I mentioned that I wanted to go to the Consumer Electronics Show. NBA Jesus said it's great, but the parking is a pain in the ass. Well, now I can't go. Ooh, Josh, here's the thing.

Here's the thing. Here's why I should have paid attention in school. We were wondering, is it charcoal or is it carbon that you put in the back of a pair of special drawers that are legitimately for sale? If this is the first time you've heard about it, it's a real thing. They sell you a pair of drawers that you can be flatulent in. Yeah. We were wondering, is it charcoal or carbon that they put in the back? Josh?

What? According to one listener, charcoal is carbon. Really? Brought to you by Hogbauer Automotive. We've been playing this or that with Josh, where he has to choose this. And if not, he has to go ahead and choose that. Our listeners aren't done playing the game with you. They've sent in some brilliant stuff to continue on.

But first, how about this interesting text message from Hillman-Welder Jesus? He texts in a lot. He's got good stuff. He has some pretty good stuff here and there. So earlier when we were playing this or that with Josh, I think the question was you'd have to lose your taste or lose your sense of smell. Your sense of taste or your sense of smell. you chose

smell and then people texted in and said well if you can't smell then you can't taste this that Hillman Welder Jesus said

those who texted in to say if you can't smell you can't taste he says that is a lie his grandma hasn't been able

to smell her entire life but she can taste on a side note this is a fascinating woman on a side note she also is unable to sweat. Oh, I've heard of that before.

Interesting. He says she just turns red and she passes out. Oh, I guess, yeah, that's probably bad, actually. Because I, that's why I kind of went up at the end because I thought about how that's usually

not good. That means you can't regulate your body temperature. Yeah, I've heard that can be a problem. She just turns red and then she falls out. That's like a baby's whole thing too for a while. I'd like to, I would have my grandma over constantly on hot days if that's a... Grandma, get on the treadmill real quick.

You're turning the heat on when it's 80 degrees outside? Let's go out into the yard real quick and play catch. Oh my gosh. If I knew every time grandma tried to sweat, she would turn red. Ever been in a tanning booth, grandma? Yeah. This or that, Covey. This is from the brother and sisterhood.

You wake up one day and you're no longer able to read. You wake up one day and you're no longer able to drive a car. So can we take work stuff out of there, out of the equation? Or does that... What? Like, we obviously have to read for work. You're no longer able to read ever again. So it affects your entire life.

Or you're no longer able to ever drive a car. Gosh, that's... I mean, if I didn't have to read for work, it would be easy. Don't want to read audiobooks. No guy wants his ability to drive, take it away. I know. Dang, man. You know what?

I guess I just... I'd find a new job. Get a skateboard. Oh, wait a minute. So you're going to choose read? No, I would want to give up reading. I want to drive. So I wouldn't be able to work here.

Yeah, I wouldn't be able to give up driving. This or that, Josh. Are you ready? Yeah. Cream pie. Stop it. The other one. Whatever the other one is.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. I'm glad you said that. Oh, no. Maybe I should have waited. This or that. Cream pie or another cream pie. You have to pick one.

Another crick. You pick up a hitchhiker who smokes crack or you pick up a hitchhiker who tugs off. Oh, are they smoking crack in your car, though? Yeah, they're smoking crack. Yes, you picked up a hitchhiker. They're not in the, you don't know, go ahead and smoke some crack.

Can you get a contact tie from crack? That's what I was wondering. I think I'd rather just have him crank hog. Yeah, at least hopefully that'll be done. I tried to move past that. That could make a mess. This or that. Tossing a salad or getting pegged into oblivion.

Oh, gosh. I mean, that's an easy answer, but so disgusting. I'll toss a salad, I guess. You dirty bastard, you would, wouldn't you? Well, that's like my wife could be involved. Josh. Naked mom or naked sister? Oh.

Can't make a man choose that. That's not right. Oh, man. That has to be my sister and my mom. Yes. I was hoping I found a loophole. I guess sister. Double hot diarrhea or an all-night vomit session. Diaryia.

Your kid becomes a window peeper or your wife becomes a window peeper? Wife. Yeah. I don't share any genetics with her. I'd be less embarrassed, you know? Yeah, you can leave her. You can't really separate from your kids. Don't worry about it.

Cubby, that session right there wasn't. so much about the answers as it was the questions. Yeah. It made a guy uncomfortable. God, some of you get me laughing so frigging hard over here. Who the hell comes up with that? Hitchhiker who smokes crack or a hitchhiker

who, you heard it already once. People are getting real technical here. It says, don't you have to be able to read road signs to drive? Well, you can kind of pick those out without necessarily reading, right? Yeah, I mean, outside of like streets would screw up. It's not, is it, I mean, as it considered reading? If it's just like the

symbol. Oh, plus GPS would just say, turn here, dummy. Oh, perfect. There we go. Now I found a loophole. Speaking of reading road signs, it brings me back to when my brother and I were little little kids. One of my uncles would play a prank on us whenever he'd drive us somewhere. And again, we're tiny little

kids who believe everything that adults say. My uncle would be driving at full speed down a highway with my brother and I in the car, and he would say, oh, Jesus. I can't see you guys. What does that sign say? What does that sign say? Like as he approached a stop sign, right?

And we would, it says stop! That's cute. We would freak out. I specifically, I bought it. He would claim he suddenly went blind, and we had to tell him what the signs meant. I was like three.

I love those bits. Me too. That's really good. All right. We suppose we ought to pull the plug, huh? Yes. Taylor has requested Trayton work faster because he wants to kick your ass in Mario Cart. So hurry it up.

And happy 20th to Seth from Mom, Tatted. Mama, She says she's bringing them to get his first tattoo on Saturday, don't you know? Mother's son tattooed day. That's awesome. It's so cool. Happy birthday. Have fun this weekend.

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