93X Half-Assed Morning Show - We Didn't Start the Fire

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

Originally Aired December 30, 2025: Entertainer C. Willi Myles. Veterinarian Doctor Andrea answers pet questions. Everything you wanna know about binge watching Netflix on New Year's Eve. Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:Twitter/X: @93XHAMSFacebook: @93XHAMSInstagram: @93XHAMSEmail the show: [e-mail] See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer and I think you should too. An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well.

Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. The comfort you deserve since 1930. The 93X half-assed morning show. Ninety-nine. I don't know why. But I couldn't hear a friggin' thing there for a minute.

If you think it's easy, you're wrong. These two-day work weeks. Some of you know all about it. We don't have to tell some of you the sacrifices that need to be made on a two-day. Welcome, Jabronies, to what we've been calling. our mid-holiday season goat rodeo end-of-the-year tribute broadcast celebration. This is day two of the celebration, Josh. This is the final final.

I've made some bad choices. Two-day work week, pretty easy, right? I've decided I'm just not going to sleep at all this week and see how that goes. I'm miserable today. Dude, I had the same exact vibe. Did you see it? Well, it's technically Thursday. Oh, well, it's technically Friday tomorrow.

What have you been doing to yourself? Just staying up too late. Oh. You know how I have. like to kick it. I've been kicking it. Oh, Josh, guess what? What? I finally cut up on Landman. Oh, excellent, isn't it? Josh, do you watch

Landman? I watch Landman. I watch it every week. You should watch Landman. If you have Paramount Plus. If I had enough money, I'd buy every one of Paramount Plus subscriptions. Here's a guy who loves Landman. Oh, it is so good, though. I never bring it up. You guys bring it up. I don't bring it up. I'm pointing at a guy right now.

Yeah, I do love it. He loves the television show, Landman. Where else are you going to see a guy? Well, allude to a guy, Humping an omelet. Yeah. Where else? You would probably have sex with Landman. It's a great show.

The ladies on the show are quite attractive. Oh my gosh. Does Landman? Does he wear a cape? Nothing like that. He might as well because he is a hero in the Landman community. I didn't need to see his erection. I'll be honest with you.

I sure he did. Wait a minute. An erection. Yeah, he was pitching a tent. On television? On television? Yeah. Billy Bob Thornton's little Billy Bob.

Well, not that little. Ashley's all caught up on Landman. She is. Oh, it's so good. So you've been staying up late? I have, yes. Watching television programming. Doing everything.

Everything. What else? Just name one thing. Well, there's one thing I don't want to talk about. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't even want to do that. Corde organizing. Have you been?

Yeah, you know me. I'm a big cord organizer. Cord organizing? I like you not to see one cord, if possible. I've been dirt bike racing. Dirt bike. Paragliding, mud wrestling. Some of those are dangerous to do at night.

Especially when you're this tired. Can I be the sucker who bites? Go ahead. Where does it sound like the ride of dirt bike? Oh, I know exactly what it sounds like. It's interesting. You got to turn my computer on. Dana's out of sorts.

Similar to that. There goes Cubby. He's got the remote in one hand. He's ready to dial in Landman. He's headed off in that direction. Last night, did you get a. text message from my wife. I did, yes.

Last night, I don't know what time it was, 9.30 or so. She had to ask Josh something or another. What the hell she texting you about? You know, it's kind of between us. Oh, sure. Yeah. And she asked me, do you think the peckerhead is still awake? You know, it was 9.30.

And I know a lot of times you do, you close the phone around 8.30 or something right. Yeah, I'll put it on, do not disturb about that. You don't want to be bothered. You're watching Landman. But, so when she asked me, do you think Cubby's still up? I said, I bet he is pushing it this week because it's our mid-holiday season goat rodeo, end-of-the-year tribute broadcast celebration. We're not really taking this terribly seriously.

I said, I bet the sum bitch is up. So you were up when she texted you. Yeah, it was up. Good. I didn't want her waking you up. No, I mean, I did have it on Do Not Disturb. I just took a look at it real quick. There you go.

If you missed yesterday's broadcast, we're mixing things up this week. No news reports, because that takes a lot of frigging work. We're just doing what the F ever. That's the gimmick. It is a tribute broadcast celebration. Tributes a key word in there. So today, our last live broadcast of 20 and 25, we're going to, again, like yesterday, today. We're going to pay our respects to the late Ozzy Osbourne and the late Ace Frey

who passed in 20 and 25. We're going to pay our respects by playing a couple of their songs and some other 80s rock if we can squeeze it in because that's what we dig around here. The 80s rock. Maybe you might hear Josh's saxophone solo. Like I said, whatever happens, happens. This is cute. You want to start with something cute? Why not? Let me get relaxed here.

Let me get into the relaxed position. Yesterday we were talking. Here we are at the ass end of a quarter century. My God. A quarter century is closing out. Thursday. What the hell day is New Year's Day? Wednesday.

Thursday. Oh, Thursday? I thought that was the first. Yeah, I don't know. Well, you guys know what I mean. Let me take a look at the game. Yeah. The year ends here soon enough.

Even further back, we can go back even further to 1989. Billy Joel dumped an awful song on the world called We Did Not Up and Start the Fire. Do you remember that one, Cubby? Yeah. Yeah, I think I do. I actually like that song. Oh, God. There we go.

Stuck in my head all there. It's going to be, yeah. You liked that one? Oh, I loved it when I was a young man. I always thought it was like getting beat up. So did Billy Joel. It's like getting hit over the head. If you hate that song, just know you don't hate it as much as Billy Joel does.

It's like taking a beating in Maple Lake. It's just, bah, ba, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, you don't have a chance to catch your breath. It's like taking a Maple Lake street dance beating. I could barely understand most of the things he said, and I certainly didn't understand a lot of the references, the political references are some celebrities that I'd never heard of, but I did like the song. Here we go. 1989, Billy Joel went ahead with a song called We Didn't Start the Fire.

It was a big hit. And this is the cute little story going around now, okay? Here we are in 20 and 25, damn near 26. And at this point, almost everyone mentioned in the song, we didn't start the fire is now dead. Almost everyone is now dead. So how many years ago was that? Jesus.

89? Yeah. 33. And then you want to add one fourth. Is that 37? Jesus. I was a sophomore in high school. No, sorry.

I was a senior in high school in 1989. The list, the song lists out 119. different political, cultural, scientific characters, figures, sporting events, this and that. Between the year 1949 when Billy Joel was born and 1989 when the song was released. In total, there are 58 different name drops of celebrities, this, that. It says here, this past Sunday, a French actress. named Bridget Bardot.

I've heard the name up and down. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah. I mean, I've heard the name, but I couldn't pick her out of a crowd because she was, what? She was a somebody in the 50s. Like a French model.

Right. I don't know a ton about her either other than she was pretty attractive. She checked out this past Sunday, so that adds to the list of people who are now dead that are mentioned in the song. The only living people mentioned in the song

are watch his nuts from here in town with the acoustic guitar. Bob Dylan. Bob Dylan is still alive. And so is chubby checker. That surprised me. I'm with you, Dana. That surprised me, too. I assumed like he died in the 70s or something like that.

I was way off of it. About 36 years, by the. I thought he was gone. So did I. He came up with the twist, right? He had a song called, Hey, Everybody. Hang on to your ass. Let's do the twist.

You like that one, don't you? What? You like that song, don't you? Come on, baby. I remember that. Going to 50s, Fireman's Balls, dances with my dad and whatnot when I was a kid. They'd play the twig. The old sock hopped.

This was what was so cool about the 50s before the music, when the music industry really exploded. Everybody was dumb. Nobody knew what they were doing, right? They fell for the stupidest things when rock and roll first became a thing. Chubby Checker comes out with the original single, hang on to your ass, let's do the twist, right? Teenage kids go mental. It sells like 50 billion copies. Then the next summer, he says, hell, that felt pretty good. Let's do the exact same thing. And his next single was, let's twist again. It was the same song. And teenage kids were

killing their grandparents in the streets to go get that single, which was exactly like the first one. And Chubby Checkers living on a mountain made of gold saying, my God, thank you, God, for putting me in this time period of rock and roll music. Would you count like Metallica's Unforgiven and Unforgiven, too? Maybe not exactly the same, but kind of close to that? Yeah, I suppose. You're the Kiss guy and Gene Simmons, I know you look up to. Did they do something like that?

I thought they kind of redid a song and just called. it too. Was it like God gave rock and roll to you? I can't remember. Well, that was a cover. Oh, that was. Okay. I didn't know that. Yeah. Argent. I like that song. Do you remember Argent? I know the name. Hold your head up. Hey, hold your head. Oh, sure. I know that song. I don't know the unforgiven one and two. I can't remember how. I don't remember which is which. I mean, Magadeth, who you might hear later on this morning, they had Hanger 18. Well, we might. Yeah, we got to play We might actually play that song today because it's such a great song. And then they had eight, nine years later, they had return to hangar.

We could do that list, I suppose. Many artists have sort of repeated a formula, but not as immediately as Chubby Checker did, which makes it so hilarious. Who was it that, I think it was you that told me this story, was it Europe? With the final countdown they played twice? Is that who that was? There was... 1989, I went out and saw a Europe concert

because they were hotter than hell with that Final Countdown track, right? Yeah. And they started the show with The Final Countdown. And at the end of the night, they said, You know what? Piss on it. We'll do it again. This one's called the Final Count.

I saw the same thing happen with Andrew WK. Started the show with Party Hard and ended the show with Party Hard. That's the only song by him I know. And he probably maybe played in the middle of the set two at some point, and I just didn't even notice. Nick, do you know, do you remember Jim? Me Koo. He used to hang out the awesome guy. I wish I looked like him. I wish I had his talent. He was a local musician. Yeah. And oh, he was in this local band Kudagra. And they were awesome with

Mark Chaucy who went on to play with Megan, or excuse me, Marilyn Manson, great guitar player. One of the coolest guys we've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Mark Chaucy is one of the friendliest, most down-to-earth nice guys I've ever met. And if you want to know like how down-to-earth this guy was. I don't like his wife. His wife was awesome, although intimidating and a little much at times. But Mark, so he grew up here. He was saying they went to Russia or something with Marilyn Manson, played in for like a million people.

I thought he said a million. It was insane how many people they played in front of. And then he would go and work at the same Carboni's pizza he worked at since he was a teenager. So this guy that just got off this major world tour, when Marilyn Manson, before we knew a lot about him, was this huge star. he's going and making your pizzas. The carbone's by you, Dana. Oh, nice.

Yeah, he worked there since he was a kid. That's so cool. He was into super funny dude. But Jimmy Koo, what a great singer, great guitar player. I'm pretty sure he was in or underutilized in Andrew WK. Maybe something can clear me up. Jimmy Koo. Sure, it's been years.

So that's the big, well, I'm not going to call it the big news, but that's the cute, trendy story going around this morning. is this Bridget Bardot dropped dead at 91 years old. So almost... That is a pretty good poke. Almost everyone mentioned, all the famous people mentioned, in the Billy Joel song, We Didn't Start the Fire. Damn near, all of them are dead,

except for Bob Dylan and Chubby Checker, who I think are touring together this summer. That'd be an odd parent. And, oh, a Bernard Getz, who was some lunatic who killed teenage kids in New York City. I don't know if you want to call him a famous. person, infamous, I guess. I'm looking at the lyrics of the song.

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Johnny Ray. I'm not terribly familiar with who Johnny Ray is, what was at this point. Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio, sure, there's one I recognize. Richard Nixon. Maryland's Monroe. Rosenbergs, it says here.

Are they talking about Saul Rosenberg? I wonder if they are. He was a character, and I'm sorry to hear he passed. Saul Rosenberg? Yeah, I didn't know that. Did he die? He must have. There's only two people left on the list.

Remember when they called him at home and he broke his ankle? Oh, that was terrible. It was awful, Saul Rosenberg. Was it a chainsaw he wanted to buy once? There was some power tool. Somebody called him once because they wanted to buy his chainsaw and his log splitter. Yeah, I think that's right. Jerky Boys fans know what we're talking about.

Sugar Ray, I'm guessing that's a reference to Sugar Ray Robinson. Marlon Brando, Eisenhower, Marciano, Liberace. Sure, I remember Liberace. Liberace, sure, yeah. Flamboyant piano player, right? Isn't that the guy? Oh, God, he was terrific. Rockefeller, well, there's got to be a few.

I don't know. Billy Joel really worked his ass off right in this song. I'll give them that. There's some deep references in there. I'll give them that. Were they deep in 89? I was just too young to know about him. Yeah, I guess you're right.

Maybe they weren't that deep at the time. They could have been. Yeah. I guess I'm not sure. I hate the song. It's terrible. But he really did work his ass off. He mentions, uh,

yeah, do you think he had an oxygen tank in there? I mean, my God, he just goes the entire song. Alfred Einstein, James Dean, Davey Crockett,

Peter Pan, Elvis Presley. Elvis Presley. I've heard the name. Well, he's still alive. I know. He died. constipation. No, everybody says there's all those

hoaxes that Elvis is still alive. Oh, really? They have those about Elvis? Mm-hmm. Mickey Mantle? Buddy Holly. You ever see the Buddy Holly movie, Josh? No. What's it called? Is it just called Buddy Holly?

Probably one of his singles, I don't remember. You know who plays the lead role? Who that? Gary Busey. Oh, he's a character. Oh. That's a nice way to put it, Josh. I like...

Very polite of you to go on to try. 2025 by saying something nice for Gary Busey. This mugshot is legendary. It sure is. John Glenn is mentioned in here. And so now I can take the opportunity again to say, if you have not watched the movie The Right Stuff, you're not an American citizen.

Sorry to break the news to some of you. Yeah, that sucks. If you have not watched the movie The Right Stuff about our original group of astronauts, including John Glenn. You're not an American. Oh, no. So what do I do now? Avoid trucks that say ice on the side of it?

So there you go. Really, it's actually fascinating to roll through the lyrics of this song to see all of the names that Bill Joel fired into this pig. Yeah, I think it's funny that people are picking up on that. he died. All right. I also read about that song where he says he goes so fast that if he misses one word, the entire thing is just thrown off completely, and he's almost got to start over.

I bet. Oh, that was pissed now. We just do the Peter Griffin something, something, people's names, political thing. I bet it was a bitch to do live. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, yeah. He had to have an oxygen tank there. What doesn't, what's it, REM?

They've got whatever that song is that do kind of the same thing, right? Oh, end of the world as we know it? Yeah, yeah. I should know that because that's what killed my favorite radio station of all times. Nowadays, of course, singers have that teleprompter that rolls in front of them. But when he first started touring with this song in 89, 90, I bet that was a bitch to do live. Oh, here it is. He says Billy Joel himself, who I understand is an absolute prick.

Yeah, I think it was hired guns. If you watch hired guns, it doesn't sound like he was a very nice guy. I'll tell you a quick story from that documentary real quick, the one that riled me up. But first, Billy Joel, he hates the song just as much as the rest of us do. We didn't start the fire. He says he compares the song to a dentist drill or a mosquito buzzing around your head. I feel bad for the guy because, I mean, he's had so many giant hits. Maybe it's not the case here, but I'm sure people ask him about it all the time.

It was such a popular song. Yeah. Luckily, he had a lot of other hits that people fell in love with. He had a lot of hits. Yep, he was a hit maker. In that documentary you mentioned, it's called Hired Guns? I think that's the one, yeah. Where they talk about dudes who play on a Springsteen.

What's the guy's name? Springsteen. They play on a spring stream record, and then they play for Billy Joel and Elton John. And they're just professional musicians who everybody wants to. you hire for their studio recording or their live tour. When I had delusions of, you know, being a rock guitar player, that's what I wanted to do, just be a studio guy because I don't like to travel, right? So I thought it would be kind of cool.

You just work at one studio. You come in, they're like, hey, write a solo, record this. Right. You know, kind of like Nuno Betancourt of Extreme, one of my favorite guitar players, one of the best guitar players of all time. He'll go with like Beyonce, and he'll kind of do that. He'll play with some of these groups you're just not expecting. So I believe it was from that documentary hired guns.

They talked to Billy Joel's first band. You know, these are the guys that he played high school dances with and garbage clubs. The guys he grew up with, you know, back in the day when they were starving. They had to hire hookers for sex, right? Yeah. They weren't down bad. They weren't even popular enough to get any real action. They had to get hookers together.

freezing to death in some apartment in New York. And then they make it big, and they pump out hit after hit after hit. And this band that he had was really talented, specifically the drummer. I don't remember what his name was. But if you listen to some of those old Billy Joel songs, that drummer was just spot on, terrific, right? Was it Liberty DeVito? Is that the... I'll go along with it.

I don't. Bald dude. Anyway, in this documentary, they're talking to Liberty. Let's go along with this. Liberty DeVito, the drummer. And, you know, suddenly Billy Joel fires all of them. After they had this tremendous amount of success and this DeVito guy calls Billy Joel on the phone and says, What the hell's the matter with you?

And Billy says, well, you're fired. And this DeVito guy says, after all we've been through, after all we created together, the sacrifices we made for you and vice versa. After all this time, you're just going to let us go? You can't do that. and Billy Joel, according to this DeVito guy, Billy Joel says over the telephone, I'm Billy Joel, I can do whatever I want to.

Yeah. That's when I almost grabbed the remote, Josh, and hit the power button I was so pissed off. I try to block that out. I love Billy Joel so much. I'm with you, Nick. We'll watch that. I wonder, I'd like it if you'd watch it, Ashley,

and then tell us if it changes your opinion at all. Assuming this is all true, he was a prick, if this is all true. Yeah, DeVito's the one. I remember the most because he looked genuinely hurt. He's completely surprised by what happened. Wouldn't you be? Yeah, absolutely. Hell yeah.

You'd want to kick somebody's ass. Just beat somebody's ass. What else is going on? Oh, later on this morning, our friend, Dr. Andrea Johnston, from German Animal Hospital, will be swinging by. And we'll jaw, you know, we take a lot of questions from our listening audience about their house pets. And we'll still do a little bit of that.

But again, this is like a loose setup this morning. Maybe we'll just drink with Dr. Andrea. We'll do whatever we want, you know, whatever she wants to do. Dr. Andrea will be stopping by later. I think she's had a great year with the program. Well, she's been an awesome addition. She's been great. I'm not saying this is, I don't recall how long we've been.

But certainly in 20 and 25, we loved having her around. Yep. probably the smartest woman, if not person, I've ever met. Absolutely. I changed vets. The vets that I've had for, I mean, at least five years for my dogs, I said peace out to them and went to Dr. Andrea. No holiday card for you from the old vet then.

No, no, not all. They can keep it. But she's no... Gosh, she's intelligent. She's no dummy. She's so pretty. Well, I look past that for the person that she is on the end. I can't look past it.

I guess you're right. I did have one sales guy pull me aside, you know, whenever Dr. Andrew first started coming in. Does anyone have any idea how long she's been a member of this program? No. Anyway, when she first started coming in to the building, I did have a sales guy pull me aside and say, who was that girl that was in your studio? Stay away. I'm glad she, I finally got a chance to meet her.

You know, you and I went to lunch with her before we started just to see if she was interested. Because I'd heard so much not from just you, but former co-workers about this super hot vet, all these years. I mean, years before we met her. And so it was nice to finally put a face to all the stories ahead of time. We went to lunch with her. Thanks for budding in on that. You invited me. Nobody invited you.

Oh, I wasn't invited. Oh, no. So the sales guy says, who was that? Why did I pay? All right. So if this is correct, the first time we had her on, according to our calendar, is August of 2024. F, me, running. This has been that long?

I was going to guess six months. F me running sideways. All right. I wasn't invited, huh? Well, this is news to me. No, you weren't, but, I mean, that's a long time ago. We've both forgiven you. I'll never forgive myself.

Can you imagine if I drove from Egan to Weissette? You guys are like, son of a bitch, why is this guy here? I got my passport on the way. I mean, yeah, we're kind of just effing off today. Normally we'd take a break. But, you know, I don't know. Do you want to take a break? We don't have to.

I'm cool with whatever you guys want to do. I'm a little concerned about Dana. Dana before the show, I told the guys that you looked dead. Are you not sleeping at all? What's wrong with you? Your eyes are barely open. Are you serious? Yeah, you look more tired than I feel.

Is there something wrong with you? No, not at all. I feel fine. Do you really? Yeah. Wait, maybe you've, you know what? Thank you. You've taken the pressure off of me. See, I think he looks normal. Right now, he's, if you looked at him, well, before the show, I mean, we were looking

at him and it's like, I think he's going to fall. Make the face he were making before the show. Yeah, do the early show one. I honestly don't know what you guys are talking about. I don't know my face either. I think he looks normal. Right now you look normal. Okay.

But before the show, you're saying he looked like he was ready to pass away? I was trying to, I looked up CPR, what to do if a larger man falls over and he got to save his life. Larger man. Have you been staying up all night? No, not at all. Have you been watching Landman? I've not been watching Landman. I'm not caught up on Landman.

He wants to binge him. Yeah. We're going to wait until the season ends. We've got some songs we want to play, like I mentioned. And part of this two-day goat rodeo is paying tribute to a couple of cats that we lost in 20 and 25, Ace Freilly. You know, this list we put together, I kind of want to get through all of them. And Ozzy Osbourne. Dude, I'll play as much music as your little heart desires.

I'm hoping people dig it. You know, we went safe with a couple of them. But there's like, I'll throw it out there. There's a Striper song that I absolutely love that we threw out there. Soldiers under command. Do you want to push your Christianity on people? That's my goal. Yeah.

I want to, everybody listen to the show and be a Catholic specifically. I'm a Striper fan. We'll see what we can do. So what we're going to do is take a little break ski and then come back. We'll set up these tunes that we want to play for you in honor of Ace and in honor of Ozzie and whatever else we have in mind. We'll set that up when we return here on the Half-Ass Morning Show. The 93-X half-assed Morning Show.

What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer and I think you should too. An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day.

We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standardheating.com. riding the comfort you deserves since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialki. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you.

Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-L-K-E-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-L-K-E-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-E-L-L-L-L-L-E-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-. And it spells relief for you. Action. Next role with Vernon Davis. I'm your host, Vernon Davis.

Okay, y'all, thank you. Thank you. That's the matter. Today we have Dietrich Wise. Through my example, on the field, off the field, during game day and practice, that was one way that I led because then led to success. Next role isn't about what's next. It's about why they do it.

My man, Bobby Bones. Like, I've had a lot of stuff happen, bad and good. And so I don't have any fear of mixing it up. That's powerful, man. Next role with Vernon Davis. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Half-assed Morning Show, 93X. That's unbelievable.

It really is when you think about it. Welcome back to the goat rodeo. The mid-holiday season, end-of-the-year tribute broadcast celebration edition of the 93X half-ass morning show. It's part two of our two-day celebration. You've been a great crowd so far. I have a multiple choice question for you, ballbags. You ready for this year? Yeah, bring it on.

Ashley. Uh-huh. Kiabi. I don't respond to ball bags. Multiple choice question. I look at them. Huh? I look at them.

I rate them. I photograph them, but I do not respond to ball bags. You're a ballbag photographer. Here's the question. I need a guest from each of you as we're closing in on the new year. Americans have voted. What do you think they named the top something or another that we want to do,

the top activity that we want to get involved in tomorrow for New Year's Eve. Here's multiple choice. Here's your choices. A, again, these are Americans voting on what they most want to do with their New Year's Eve tomorrow night. A, binging, binge watching Netflix programming. That's A. Josh is made of his mind. Yep.

Doesn't need to hear the other options. B. Unprotected sex. C. Protected sex. Definitely not C. That's a lame. When's the last time anybody's had protected sex outside of locking the front door or car door,

depending on where you're doing it? I have to have stupid protected sex now. Why? It's no fun because I don't want to get pregnant again. Well, I suppose you're not. Can you take a contraceptive or something? I don't want to. I stopped taking them like five years ago or so,

and I just feel a lot better than when I used to take them. And so then, like, after that, it was kind of just a gamble, but we were pretty good at gambling. We won. We won every time. But now we don't want to risk at all, because after you push a baby out, your body's like, let's make another one, let's make another one.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. You're more fertile? Yes. 1886, Josh, to answer your question. Oh, the last time he was protected. You asked when was the last time I had protected sex? Yeah, 1986.

Multiple choice, D, is jacking or gilling off. Again, you have to choose which of these activities Americans selected as what they most want to do tomorrow night with their New Year's Eve. E, the final choice would be yoga. Now, Josh already made his guess. He thinks the answer is binge watching Netflix programming. What about Ashley? What would you say Americans are aiming to do?

I'm going to go with E because why is that in there? That's a good point. It's such an oddball. Out of left field. Yoga, you're going, it's very popular. People do it on surfboards. They do it with goats. They do it.

What else do they do? I don't know yoga. They do it when it's extremely hot. Hot. Well, you know, at the first of the year, folks are trying to get in shape. That's when the gyms are the busiest. Right. So it's not too out of left field.

All right, Dana, which are you going with? I mean, my gut tells me that, because, I mean, for me personally, I just want to binge watch Netflix, like Josh said. But I will go with unprotected sex. Okay. You're going to go with raw dogging on New Year Z to close out 2025. That's what I'm going with. Ashley is incorrect. And so is Dana.

Josh got it right. Americans want to binge watch Netflix programming tomorrow night. That's all they want to do. They don't want to go to a kegger. They don't want to touch themselves. They don't want to fire a stranger into the tall grass.

They don't want to go ahead with goat yoga. What else did I throw? Binge watching Netflix program. Dana and I were actually talking about this yesterday on the way home and how both of us are. It probably at a surprisingly young age would prefer just to be home doing something like that versus going to parties or certainly bars. Oh, 100%. I got over going out of New Year's very early in my 20s, even though I was in my prime of going out.

It was just too chaotic. You can't find a cab. It's just packed with people. It was just always miserable. I've never done it. I preferred house parties to that. Never even done that. I don't know why, probably because I don't like large crowds of people.

I never did anything for New Year's Eve. I never went out and done anything special or gone to even a house party. We used to go, what's the matter with you guys? We used to go mental on New Year's Eve. Well, for many years when the station first started, or when the Mall of America was around, but when we first started doing promotions out at the Mall of America with the radio station, I'd be at Fat Tuesdays on New Year's Eve, and that'll change a guy.

That's awesome. That is lawless. That night was insane every single year. We used to have massive house parties on New Year's Eve, rolling kegs in and out of the joint, going out too, go to your neighborhood bar, blow the doors off the joint. Of course, a lot has changed for me personally over the last, oh, 15 years. But when we were young, oh my God, New Year's Eve was disgusting. It was horrible what we would do.

But that's the most popular answer. kind of surprised, Ashley, with you that you've been, I mean, you're already so young. I'm surprised even younger you decided you didn't want to go. She's different. Yeah, I don't know. She's dark. Oh, I know why. New Year's Eve was, it always would

sneak up on me, and then I'd have no plans, and I was like, eh, whatever. She was a dark side kid, Josh. I was in the corner crying. She just wanted to listen to corn and mope in the corner. That's what she wanted to do. It's a black veil brides. Yeah.

Yeah, she goes darker. My chemical romance, so I do enjoy. I'm sorry if I confused anybody. We were talking about house parties. That is not the most popular route people are taking tomorrow night. It's Netflix binge watching. House parties is way the hell down the list. Netflix.

Oh, wait a minute. No, it's not that far down the list. Behind Netflix would be go to a New Year's Eve. party. Some folks, Josh, according to this survey of Americans, please go away, let me sleep for the love of God. Right behind house parties, a lot of folks just want to stay home and get some freaking sleep. I can understand that. I mean, we basically will make it to midnight and we're in bed immediately. That's usually how it goes. And I'll tell you what, if you have kids and you're not aware of it, speaking to Netflix, they're geniuses over there. They came up with a phony

countdown, right? And you can play it whenever you want. So if you want your kid in bed by eight, you just play that. And they have no idea. Genius. Countdown, everybody gets super excited. But here we are. It's 2026. It'd have to be a pretty stupid or a very young kid. Kids are stupid. You're safe. Kids don't know how to read a clock anymore. So. And then finally, another popular route to take tomorrow night for Americans. This will surprise nobody. A lot of folks just want to sit around and finger-bang their cell phone like they do any night of the week. Just keep the routine.

Isn't that something? I probably stay up till midnight. House parties aren't what they used to be on New Year's Eve. Oh, I haven't seen midnight in a few years, but if it happens, I'm okay with that. Oh, New Year's Eve, you don't? What?

You haven't seen midnight at New Year's Eve? No. There was a couple years there in a row where I didn't make it to New Year, well, didn't make it to midnight. But that was when I smoked a lot. lot of weed. So I was very sleepy, very early.

But I try to make it now just to get that adorable New Year's kiss. And then I'm like, all right, let's go to bed. Oh, your kid will probably wake you up anyway, even if you do fall asleep. No, no, no, don't jinx that. He sleeps through the night now. Ah, man. See, that's why when we'd go out, it was because I wanted to get that New Year's kiss, you know, I was hoping. Maybe something like that would happen at midnight.

And then when I got older and certainly married, it said it didn't. matter anymore. Sure. But that was the goal. Oh, yeah. You're looking to get laid. Find something. I mean, that's why I was kind of surprised with you, Ashley, but I'd imagine, you know,

you wouldn't have to work as hard as maybe I had to back in the day. So that's why, you know, any opportunity I could. Why did you struggle so badly with women back in the day? I think I'm too good looking and women get intimidated and they think that I'm out of their league. I remember that what? My best most honest guest. I remember that post you put up on Facebook years ago. where you said,

I'm walking through the mall with no makeup on and I'm only wearing sweats and I'm still getting hit on by men. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, ugh. Was that the first humble brag? It was. Yeah, that's the first recorded instance of a humble brag. So bad. So again, the most popular activities for Americans tomorrow night,

according to a report, finger bang the phone. Number four. number three, get some shut eye. Number two, go to a New Year's Eve blowout and maybe catch some strange. And number one, watching Netflix on your television. This poll said one in four people would rather go see their dentist than go to a New Year's Eve party. I wonder if that's the same person that would say that about any party.

Have we? Yeah, seriously, because why would you know? That's my guess. Have we become, have we become because of the constant staring and finger blasting of the cell phone? Have we become just generally introverted? Oh, I think so. You don't have as much experience. I mean, even like yesterday I had a doctor's appointment and they push you virtual, right?

Or customer service. It's almost impossible to find a customer service where you can call someone on the phone. They'll push you to chat or email or something like that. Did the doctor have to check the old brajola? No, nothing like that. Oh, that's good. Your butthole? I was worried that they would make you do that on camera.

You know, that's a hippo violation. I can't tell you that. But yes, it was butthole related. You're a hippo. All right. There you go. New Year's Eve, huh? Nick did ask me yesterday.

You know, I was telling him off there, I got this thing coming up today. And he's like, they're not going to make you, like, spread it on camera. There's no way I would have fallen for that. Spread them. A virtual doctor's appointment. concerning your anus. Yes. Why are they constantly

bothering you down there? Oh, it's a follow-up to the colonoscopy. Good Lord. Is all that was. Yeah, I was kind of wondering. Like, are they going to ask me because I'm not, there's no way. You are almost constantly placing your unit or your ass on a doctor's, what do they call that thing that you sit on?

Motorcycle? Examination. Oh, yeah. Examination. You're constantly fumping your guise. your gear or your ass down on a doctor's examination table. Luckily, it's been a while, really. It's just I've had the colonoscopy and then they just did a follow-up.

But you're right. For a while there, like my genitalia was very on display in the medical field. I think they've got a thing for you. I want you to keep coming back. 20 and 26, get used to saying that out loud, I guess. Yeah, I wrote that down. I have a cute little calendar at home. You know, I write down what we're having for dinner every day of the week.

And I was writing like New Year's Day, 2026. And I, for some reason, I had to check my phone multiple times and was like, all right, that's the correct year, right? Right now is 2025. All right, yes. Last night, Ashley, I got out my checkbook. And on the date portion of the checkbook, I filled in 2026 on all my checks just to prepare. That is smart.

I was going to say, like, that I haven't written a check forever, probably. since the last time you had protected sex, Nick. But that was an issue. I remember I'd screw it up every single time at first. I remember having to write that date on your papers in school? Gosh, I'd be wrong for like the first two months. 20 and 26 for you movie goers. Oh, there's definitely some stuff that should be coming out that they teased two years ago.

Yep, I'm looking forward to a couple. For you movie goers, folks who like to go to the theater. Hope you like sequels. Here are the sequels coming out in the year 20 and 26. Fall 2. I'm not familiar with fall. Me neither. That was the one on the list that I didn't really know much about.

There's actually a few on this list I'd never heard of before. Scream 7. I can't believe there's seven screams. I know. I only watch the first two. They're still pretty good, honestly, yeah. Jumangai, four. Jamongi?

Oh, Jumanji. Oh, sweet. Yeah, they're fun. Minions three. Oh, parents love those. I hate their little voices so much. People think they're so cute, and I just want to strangle them. Toy Story, five.

That's another one. I can't believe we're up to five because three ended so perfectly. They should have ended it, but. That's the last one I want. I'm not the one that profits off of these. What was in four, Dana? Was that the one with the spork? The spork, and they're at the county fair.

Five. From Toy Story. Greenland, two. Yeah, I liked the first one. Can't remember that. End of the world type of a thing. Yeah. I thought the first one was really entertaining.

Never heard of it. Oh, yeah. Gerard Butler's in that thing. I love him. Never even heard of it. Dune part three. Yeah, people love that. Yep, I want to see that one.

Angry Birds Part three. What? Sounds terrible. Three of those? Are going to be three of those? I loved that game. Angry Birds when that first came up. Yeah, I admit, I got addicted, too,

but I can't imagine sitting through a trilogy of motion pictures of them. Back to Toy Story, Kidney Stone Jesus said, you know those poor toys are just constantly watching Andy jerk off now. Gross. Somebody doesn't watch the movies. I don't even think he lives there anymore. Watching Andy jerk off?

Well, he's probably of age. Who the hell is Andy? Yeah, he's college age now. Yeah. Scary movie, Part 6. I'm down. Are you? I watched maybe 10 minutes of the second one and I couldn't get through it.

Oh, they're so good. I dig it. Didn't like a guy getting stabbed by a penis in the bathroom stall? That's when I turned it off. I dig the weird sex stuff I can't do. I don't know which is which when I sit down and see a scary movie edition on my television. I don't know which one I'm looking at. But I like those Wayans brothers.

I don't care what anybody said. I like those way. Here's one for you As we're rolling through the massive pile of sequels that we'll have to fight our way through in the year 20 and 26. Do you like the sounds of this? Focker-in-law.

Another series where I enjoy the first one and maybe the second one, but I've kind of lost track of Greg Focker and his clan. First one was fun. Beyond that, stupid. What's the one with the you can, milk anything. That's the first one.

Yeah, that one was good. Beyond the first one, totally stupid. But this one's cubby's going to be called Focker-in-law. That's kind of funny, right? No. No, it isn't. It isn't? Yeah, I don't like it either.

Violent Knight 2. Yes. Yes. I'll watch it. Violent night. I guess we'll have to wait for next Christmas. That's with David Harbor, right? Or do I have the wrong one?

I'm not sure. The guy from Stranger Things? Yeah, that's correct. Inola Holmes. Those are great. Those are real fun movies. Millie Bobby Brown from Stranger Things is in that. And Henry Hubba Hubba Cabell. Your guy.

Part three. Never heard of Anola Holmes. Those are fun. Cubby. How much does it cost me to get into my local movie theater? What movie? It depends. Let's say like Air Bud. Oh, that's $2. What if I want to bring two of my friends?

$6 is where we're at. To see Air Bud. Correct. Yay. Yay. Coming out in 20 and 26, Airbud returns. Yay. How old would Air Bud be now?

When the first one come out? This is his legacy. Like 95? Oh, I love the Airbud movies so much. 97. Air Bud is dead. This is a dog that plays football. Basketball in the original.

He plays basketball. He branched out. If you remember, seventh inning fetch? He played some baseball. Play a little baseball. Seventh inning fetch. Oh, no. Air Bud died like right after the movie came out.

Yeah, I didn't want to bring that up, Josh. Yeah, he died. Well, I think nobody's surprised that a movie in 87, the dog lead character's not going to be on. Dr. Andrea put him to sleep. No. It cost me $2 to get into my theater to see Air Bud. Yeah, for Air Bud. What if I want to bring 11 of my friends?

That is, okay. We got one. It's $2. 11 times 2 would be 22. Yay! I threw them with that one. I'm terrible at math. Mortal Kombat 2.

Practical Magic 2, Super Troopers 3. I liked Mortal Kombat. Yeah, the one was very fun. The most recent one? Yeah, on HBO? Yep. That was a good time. Avengers Dooms Day.

You're still doing this Avengers thing? I'm with you, Ashley. I really enjoyed a lot of those. I thought they kind of got. better. You know, they were funny. You know, obviously there's all kinds of action, but it's a little much when they're coming out like six a year.

I can't keep track of it. I long have lost track of what the Avengers are doing. Who's alive? The timelines. The universes. People die and come back to life. These are sequels coming out next year. The social reckoning.

I don't know what that means. It's the sequel to the social network. Oh, is that it is. The Facebook movie. Yes, I absolutely loved that movie. Is the same people going to be in there? The creation of Facebook? Yeah, that's what the first one was about.

What was that main, the main, like a nerdy guy in it? I thought you had a big crush on him, and you don't remember? I can't think of his name. Jesse Eisenberg. Oh, gosh, I love him because he's in the magic movie that just came out, the sequel to Now You See Me? Very good. Very good.

What am I doing here? Heart Stopper. Forever. That's a sequel to, I guess, the original heart stopper? Anybody? I looked it up, but I didn't know much about it. I hadn't heard it before. The Devil Wears Prada, Part 2. They should have called the Devil Still Wares Prada. The Devil Wares Prada Part 2. It sounds like a chick flick to me, but I have no idea. Anne Hathaway Fashion Movie. It's actually very good. I enjoyed a lot.

Have you seen, Josh, did you and I sit down and watch this one, the Skinimax version? The devil wears Nata? That's right. The devil wears Nata. I had a girlfriend who was obsessed with that book. I think it was a book first and then the movie at the time. She loved it. The Mandalorian and Grogu.

Oh, yay. I love that little guy. He's cute. Baby Yoda. It's just the little tiny guy. I liked the Mandalorian. Baby Yoda. Oh, I love what he just walks around.

And he goes by the name of Grogu? Yeah. And the Mandalorian, that's Boba Fett, right? Forget it. The Strangers, Chapter 3. They're killing more people in the Strangers movie series. Great movies. Didn't even get to the second one.

Paw Patrol. Oh, my gosh. You guys. They're calling this one, Paw Patrol the Dino movie. Oh, my niece will be there for sure. Yeah, I remember our cop brand, state trooper friend, Gordon Shank was saying that his kids are obsessed with Paw Patrol. Did like the cop or the cop? Yeah, Chase.

What if they hated the cop? Wouldn't that be something? They prefer the fireman. I'm not even done yet. Ready or not, too, and the rest of the title is, here I come. Ready or not, anyone? Not familiar as that one either. Spider-Man, brand new day.

Oh, wait a minute. This sounds great. Oh, Ashley, I wonder if you're even aware of this. You like Brad's Pit, right? Yeah. but you're a big fan of Leonardo DiCaprio No, I'm getting there

You're a big fan of Inglorious Bastards Yes For a second there, I got lost How do you feel about What was that sort of boring Half-Ass Manson movie that Brad Pitt was in With Leonardo DiCaprio I walked out of the theater

Is that something about Hollywood? Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Yes There's a few really great scenes in that movie But it's a little too long and kind of boring Yeah, I walked out of the theater and then everybody told me that the ending was the best. Yeah, yeah, the ending was fun.

Whoops. Anyway, so I didn't mean to pinpoint you exactly. I got mistaken. I thought you were a big fan of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. It's actually Inglorious Bastards. But this sounds really cool to me because I did really like Brad Pitt's character in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Cliff Booth.

There's a movie coming out called The Adventures of Cliff Booth. Nice. All right. So it'll be some kind of a sequel, some kind of a sequel to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I love that character. Did you like that character, Josh? I haven't seen it yet. What?

I said I haven't seen it yet. It's not really worth it. He beats up Bruce Lee. Well, I was going to watch it. You told me it was stupid. Yeah, it is kind of stupid. Yeah, so I decided I'll put that lower on the list. I didn't know you took my word.

So he. That's why I bought, oh, shoot, the movie that everybody loves. love the horror movie that everybody loved me, you hated it. Oh, get out? Yeah, I bought that movie. Terrible. Because I heard so many good things about it. You told me it sucked and I never watched. Good for you. You made the right call. And yeah, once, like Ashley and I were just saying, once upon a time in Hollywood, has a few really great scenes, but overall, it's kind of boring. Yeah. But Cliff Booth, that character is fun. He tunes up some hippies over at the Manson Ranch.

Oh, you did. You had me all excited. I thought there was going to be like a part two of glorious bastards, but then I thought about it, and it doesn't really make sense because Hitler's gone. Listen to this sequel. I'm sorry, before we move on from Brad Pitt, I saw the movie F1 last week. I thought it was really entertaining.

It was so great. That was good. If you're looking for something, if you have Apple TV, I thought that was pretty entertaining. Absolutely. Dude, offended millennial Jesus is trying to creep us out this morning. He texted in, and he says, as you mentioned, there's a new stranger's movie coming out.

Changers, Chapter 3. Offended millennial Jesus says this. Do you know why the strangers keep killing people? Because they were home. Listen to this title, Josh. I can't go to this movie. Insidious, the bleeding world. Yeah, I don't like that.

The bleeding, the world? Who's cleaning that up? The world is haunted. Anybody make it past the first one? It was entertaining enough. Yeah, I've seen them all. Oh, yeah, for no real reason. I haven't watched the rest of them.

Dana, get ready to adjust your little jean shorts. Oh, yeah? Oh, is there a Bruce Springsteen movie or something? The Super Mario Galaxy movie. It looks fun. The first one was very fun. You better have your SpaghettiOs before you go see the Super Mario Galaxy movie. Why is that 40-year-old man in this movie by himself?

Dressed up like Mario. But don't eat too many SpaghettiOs because you'll fall asleep in the theater. You got them all over my shirt. Oh, Josh, there's another sequel coming out called 28 years later, The Bone Temple. You've offered to take me to the Bone Temple a few times. Never once have you wanted to join me. Josh calls his bedroom.

Worship the Bone Temple. And finally, I guess this is the full list of, how do you call it, sequels coming out next year. Peaky Blinders? What the hell is that? People love that. Is that a TV show? Yeah.

It's like a British cop show or something, I think. Yeah. They advertised or they had at the Vikings game Thursday or the Christmas Day Vikings game on Netflix, they had like a little peeky blinders area. Did you see that? I thought that was such a cool idea. Good for their advertisement department because, yeah, I thought that was so neat. I noticed it a couple times before they called attention to it.

I was like, what are all those old-timey guys? doing in that little bar. Oh, really? I didn't notice it. And then they called it out. This year, movie's going to be called Peaky Blinders, The Immortal Man. Yeah, I've heard nothing but great things about the show. I just haven't been able to get into it

because it's a little daunting. There's six whole seasons to watch. Some of those shows where it's all British, and Nick, I know you feel the same way. I know they're speaking English, but I can't understand a word they're saying. It's too fast. The accents are too thick. I can't follow the British accent at all.

I got to have the closed captioning on. I have closed captioning on for almost everything I watch now because my hearing has gone into the toilet. I have noticed that it's dwindling a little bit. It's these loud headphones all these years, I think. Day after day. And I talk too loud because I can't hear myself. Where was I going with this?

He sounded like my dad. My dad's in his 70s. Do I talk as loud as your 78-year-old dad? Yeah, about. I can't hear myself, Ashley. Listen to this. Too old to be stoned at work, Jesus texted in. We were talking about that once upon a time.

How do you say it in Hollywood? Too old to be stoned at work, Jesus said, lame claim to fame. I went to high school with the dude who plays Bruce Lee in that movie. That's kind of cool. Oh, that is cool. That's very cool. Yeah, the guy was good at Bruce Lee too.

Yeah, he was. He was until he met old Cliff Booth. Yeah. tossed him into that car. He chucks him into the car. Who else was good in that? Like, was Austin Butler good

in it? Or? Oh, I didn't even know Austin Butler was in that movie. Oh, I can't remember. Luke Perry? I mean, it's all, I don't have no memory of Luke Perry in that movie. It's all Brad Pitt and Leonardo. It's the two of them pretty much

constantly. I didn't even know those other two people were in there. I'm just looking at the IMDB. It says they were. Austin Butler, what role did he play in that movie? Anyway. So is your mom? Charles Watson.

Watson. No, I'm not following it. I'd have to see him in his get-up to be able to, I'm sure I could pick out. So there you go. My half-ass morning show. Minnesota's 93X. Yeah, yeah.

Welcome back to our year-end tribute celebration show here on the 93X. Half-ass morning show. This has been fun so far. We don't play a lot of music on this year program normally. And that's okay by us. I mean, we're radio personalities. We love to hear the sound of our own voices, right? So we don't play a lot of music normally on the Half Fast Morning Show.

But with this special vibe we're putting out the last couple of days, we're taking the opportunity to play some of our favorite songs, some of our favorite bands. Specifically the last couple of days, we've been celebrating the lives of Ozzy Osbourne and Ace Freyley, who sadly left us this year. Earlier on, we played Ace. We played Rocket Ride.

So here's what we got coming up. Randy Shavers on the horizon here. We'll get to Randy in about 20 minutes. But we got a little three-song gang bang put together for you. We're going to wrap it up the three-song set with, of course, if it's me and Cubby making picks, you know you're going to hear Mr. big in there somewhere. And we're going to wrap up the three

songs set with their first single from 1989, addicted to that rush, which simply, the first time I heard it, Josh, it parted my hair. I can understand. It dropped my D in the dirt. It straight

up, parted my hair. It was fun. You know, we went to the show last year. Ashley was there as well, and it was cool watching her reactions because, you know, it's not really her style of music, but you really got into it, and that felt good to us. I absolutely fell in love with Mr. Big, and I mean, it's one of the best live shows I've ever been to. Well, that's awesome to hear. It was. It was. It was fantastic. The musicianship displayed

all over Mr. Bigg's catalog is terrific, and you'll hear every bit of it in the song addicted to that rush. This is always exciting for Josh and I to consider their might be someone out there who's never heard these songs before. Paul Gilbert, Mr. Big himself, Billy Sheehan, the late Pat Torpey, Eric Martin on lead vocals. It's just hellacious, the track, addicted to that rush. I like playing this kind of stuff for people who only know to be with you. Right. And there was guys that would make fun of Mr. Big thinking they were only to be with you,

not realizing they're geniuses, you know, and that was just the biggest song they released. I will go to play some, like, Mr. Big at a bar, and I get super excited, and usually I'm, like, talking somebody about it. And they're like, I, hey, yeah, I have no idea who that is. And then I'll play to be with you. And they're like, oh. Sure. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now listen to the better ones.

I mean, it was a number one song. In the middle of our three songs set, this was Josh's idea. He reminded me that John Sykes passed away almost a year ago. Exactly. Yeah, it was like on the 28th or something about. December last year. Last year. Another guitar genius.

White Snake, thin Lizzie, blue murder, John Sykes was an awesomely talented guitar player. Sure, he didn't technically pass in 2025, but close enough. Josh brought that up. He reminded me John Sykes about a year ago passed away. So we're going to

throw in some White Snake from their 87 record, crying in the rain. John Sykes is all over that record. And for whatever reason he and David Coverdale could never get along long enough. They always were breaking up and getting back together, but Sykes was a massive part of that 87 record that was hugely successful. And to start it off, this is what we originally intended was to pay tribute to Ozzy and Ace, so we'll start it off. Josh loves the Jakey Lee era of Ozzy's solo catalog, don't you?

I do. I mean, I love all of them through Zach Wild, definitely for different reasons. But Jake Lee, I thought, is one of the more underrated guitar gods of all time for whatever reason. Jakey Lee. I mean, Bark at the Moon, I think is a perfect song. Right. It's so much so that if people cover it, I don't think they should change a note. And usually in covers, I like it when people make it their own. But I think the guitar work in Bark at the Moon is the best. To start us off from 1986, the title track, from the Ultimate Sin record. Here's Ozzy on the Half-Ass Morning Show. The following portion of the program has been edited to remove licensed music.

The 93X Half-Azed Morning Show. What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer, and I think you should too. An AC tune-up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choke-slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC-tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well.

Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standard heating.com. Providing the comfort you deserves this 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints. You need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. answer, Dave Bialki. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits

for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to Bialki-L-E-Law.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. You guys know how much I really, really love golf and I think every week would be dope to post on the Golf Channel. I want to get a lot of guests on here. Salyam's going to take a leap. I'm down to be in it. It's not really. really work to play golf. Join the party on the golf course. I was like, let's go to the range.

So what are we putting on it? We said 10K, right? 10K? All right? We probably bet more than all the other golf channels, right? 10K, nine holes. Those guys bet for, like, cookies. I feel like I'm going to shank.

This guy's been trading like a Navy seal when it comes to golf. I'm very, very excited. You excited? Yeah. Bullsen golf. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Randy Shaver. I'm a half-assed morning show.

I can't buy my first. My son. My dad's d' bitch. I never sold my dad. He still looks like I don't even What was that? I don't know what's wrong with those guys

Here's Randy Schaever And C. Willie Miles too. Hello, boys. Good morning. See Willie Miles. Randy Shaver. Randy Shaver, C. Willie Miles. You guys haven't spoken in a while.

Yeah, good morning. I didn't even know he was still on speaking terms. See Willie, by the way, he's still got it. He's a talented athlete. Ashley tried to kill him with a, you know, She could have placed this electrical cord in a better place. She sure did. You dodged that like a champ.

That took me out the other day. Yeah, I felt so bad. I walked in as soon as they touch my ankle, tell him Randy, as soon as anything, touch us, we stop. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we can't afford to fall. We're at that break hip stage, man, in our lives. Not in your age, see, Willie Miles.

You cannot afford another fall. That's right. I didn't know you got tangled up in the cords on your way in. Well, thankfully you made it. I know. I didn't even get tangled up. It just touched my leg. It's like anything to touch you, you stop.

You're safe now? Oh, yeah. You're seated and safe. I have marked myself safe. You're good. You updated your Facebook status. Safe at 93X. You are a good athlete.

I almost had to buy Ashley a new computer with how hard I tripped over that thing. Took it all out. Did we catch all that screaming and shouting in the intro? I didn't have my headphones on. Did we hear all of it? We'll have to play it again. Yeah, we did hear it. Because it leads to a fairly interesting story.

Can we play it again? Trey Young looks like my dad's d-I-I-I. I never saw my dad's d'-ha. He still looks like s'-k. Okay. This has been going around the internet now. And I think this is a year or two old, actually. Yeah, it's old, and it's just kind of what this became that makes it even better of a story.

So Trey Young looks like my dad's D, the guy says. And then because he's on camera, I think he's. thought to himself, oh, I better explain myself. Yeah, what did I just say? And he says, I've never seen my dad's D. I don't believe him now. But he still looks like, shh, that's a New York,

Knickerbockers fan, screaming drunk after a Knicks game against the Atlanta Hawks. They're all screaming insults at Tray Young, the little point guard for the Hawks. And this became very popular on the godless, soulless, and wildly misinformed

social media. Nix fans, raging against Trey Young. Now, that dude who was hollering about his dad's penis, his nonsense eventually landed him a role on a television show. I've never heard of the television show, Josh, do you have it in front of you? Let me double check what that was again. But some actor or director, real deal Hollywood type, saw this guy. Marty Supreme.

The show is called Marty Supreme. Never heard of it. It's out now, right? Yeah, isn't that a movie? Yeah. I couldn't remember if it was a Netflix show or a movie. No, it's out right now. Okay, it's a movie called Marty Supreme.

The guy who's hollering about his dad's Johnson is quite heavy. As a matter of fact, I think his handle on social media is Fatric, Fatric Ewing. That's pretty funny. And so he hollers and screams. Someone in the movie business sees him hollering and screaming and says, that dude, whoever he is, should be in this. movie. And now he's an actor. Wow. So I guess don't let

anyone tell you that getting drunk and cursing into a camera after a ballgame might not do any good for you. About your father's penis. Yeah. Specifically, if you have to bring up your parents' genitalia, do it. How random is that that this director sees him and goes, that's my guy? That's him. Patrick Ewing. You've got to imagine how Timothy Shalamein feels now. This guy went to the Juilliards.

I mean, he did everything right. He did, yeah, he's got a publicist, he's got managers. Right. You know what I mean? You know, he did everything right. And this guy, you know, he's just, he said, I haven't seen my dad's D. You know what I mean? And apparently with that name, that handle, he hasn't seen his own. Right. What does De Niro make of this? What does Pacino make of this? These people have put in for the craft. Gwyneth Paltrow's in the movie. She's been nominated for Grammy.

Or whatever the actor would. Yeah, Oscars. He's never better. He should never be in a movie with someone with an egot. My God, I would walk up and punch him in the neck. What a way to make it in the business. Wouldn't you think your buddies are messing with you? You get a call from Hollywood producer.

You think, okay, yeah, whatever. What was the nickname Randy Shaver of that? that large kid with glasses from Indiana State, where they were comparing him to Larry Byrd. Oh, gosh. What did they call him? Yeah, I don't remember. Because of his glasses, was it Larry Blur?

Or something like that? Josh is looking it up. Something like that. He was a big deal in college basketball a couple of years, and the Golden Gophers played him. They did. Randy and I both said, I don't know what the big deal is with this kid. Wasn't that talent.

He wasn't that good. but he had some funny nicknames. He's called him Big Bird. Big Bird. Indiana State a couple years ago, he had the rec specs. He was a little chunky. I know someone's going to be able to find it. I found it.

Okay. Larry Nerd. Larry Nerd because of the glasses. Oh, wow. Did they also poke funnered his weight or not? I don't see that here. Oh, here's another one. Cream Abdul-Jabbar.

There he go. Cream. Yeah, Cream Abdul-Jabbar. Because he's white. Yeah, because he's a white boy. Okay. There you go. And he likes crispy cream.

Who doesn't? Cream? I don't know. Jewel Jafar. Ah, man. All right, here we go, Randy Shaver, C. Willie Miles. This is our last broadcast of the year 20 and 25. Thanks for everything this year, Randy Schaver and C. Willie Miles.

Absolutely. You bet. As we're setting here, these are supposedly the biggest Minnesota sports stories from the past year. Okay. The Vikings flirting with Karen Rogers. No way. Was one of the biggest sports stories of the calendar year here in town.

The Vikings trying to draw Karen into the mix. Okay. J.J. McCarthy being so unproven and injury prone just as I predicted months. ago. Yeah, I think that's definitely a storyline. I need to go a couple straight months without hearing the name JJ McCarthy. Me too. Yeah. I would say there's a bigger one,

but yeah. Well, we're getting there. We're just getting started, Randy Shaper. That's two. Nick, I was shopping for you for a T-shirt, another T-shirt I wanted to get you. They had, I had to look for it, and I found a nine shirt with JJ's face, his intense face, it's a nine on it. And believe it or not, they only had one left,

and I'm guessing because they didn't order very many, but it was like a child's-sized shirt. With that stupid face? With the face and everything. I saw him like, this is perfect. I love that meme or whatever it's called. Poking fun at J.J. McCarthy for that intense, you know, I'm a warrior gladiator type facial expression, even though he's mostly garbage. I love that meme.

But Josh, I think I would have had to wipe with it. I'm with Dana. I need to go two, three, four months. without hearing about him, without hearing about troubled head coach Kevin O'Kronner. I've had enough of this year's version of the Minnesota Vikings. Absolutely had enough. Well, there's more Viking stuff,

supposedly in this list of the biggest sports stories of the year 20 and 25. Trading for Adam Feelein and then dumping him on his ass three months later. Wow. It was so weird, like he'd freak out. get he was on the team. I don't even know what he was doing there. He didn't do much. You just kind of wandered around. I wonder why they didn't use him. He had one temper tantrum. I think he was to bring him home so he can retire here and bring it his house back. Yeah, I'm sure. It was just kind of weird that he... Well, remember, they signed him

early because of Addison's suspension. Right. So he really was there as a stopgap receiver in the first couple of games of the year. And once Addison came back, then he was kind of a forgotten guy. I mean, when Phil is... was out on the field. Was he just too damn broken and old to get open? I don't know. Jim Marshall dying. Yes. Sadly in the year 20 and 25. Yes.

Legend. And that Jared Allen dude making the pro football Hall of Fame. I would say there's a bigger one though. Vikings related? No, not Vikings. Go ahead. I think the twins, I think the twins' ownership

story, I think is the biggest story of the year. Because it sets in motion so many different underlying storylines of what this team could look like for years to come. So, I mean, we're getting some clarity about it with the minority owners that were announced and the fact that there's a change at the top with Joe Polad. But, I mean, I think that story is the biggest story. Yes, she, Willie Miles. No, that was, I just, it wasn't, it was the biggest fraud. ever committed in sports.

Pretty shocking. You're talking about the twins. What's the word Josh you use about when everyone got fired here in this building? The reckoning. You're talking about the reckoning, see Willie Miles, where they cleaned the roster out. That was sad. I mean, there's a lot. A lot of people paid a lot of money.

The season tickets thinking and then how they did it and pretend they were selling the team. The purge. And then all of a sudden, zubid-d-d-d-d-d-d-every. Everybody got foosh-nick. and they were pissed. And I don't keep liking to bring up my mother-in-law, but that hurt me to my heart. Because she, to this day, is still angry. And you shouldn't have a 95-year-old woman that man.

You know what I mean? She's a good person. She's already in heaven. And now they're trying to snatch her back. Yes, Randy Schaber, no question. The twins disaster and all the elements to that story, certainly massive. big sports stories of 20 and 25. Oh, the best one?

That you might remember. Yes. Mark Sanchez. By far, Minnesota. This is Minnesota stuff. Oh, I thought you moved on from Minnesota. No, no.

You're right. I think the trade for Quinn Hughes is a monster. Sure. Absolutely. Bougar. Quinn Hughes. I mean, it's not very often that a Minnesota sports team deals for a franchise player. Right.

They did. Not since Shannon Stewart. Ashley, you're right. Overall, Mark Sanchez playing dagger tag with a truck driver while drunk. Massive. Massive.

I remember thinking of it as like a gift. Yes. For morning radio. For morning radio, that's like a gift. That's crazy. Other local stories, the wolves go on to the Western Conference final, final, but losing again. Glenn Taylor giving up control of the franchise

to Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez, Kevin Garnett coming back now. Yes. That's the big ticket. The big ticket, baby. The Russian kids big deal to stay with the pigs. The Quinn Hughes deal. And on and on from there.

Yeah, Mark Sanchez. Drunk off his ass playing dagger tag at 2 o'clock in the morning with an over-the-road truck driver who could just use a bowl of chili and a good night's sleep. What in the world. Man, we're just trying to unload some goods. That's all he wanted. Trying to do his job. Right.

Mark Sanchez. Oh, Brotato Chip Jesus is checking in saying, we've got to recognize one of the biggest stories of 20 and 25 here locally was the 20th anniversary of the bang boat. Of course. Wow. The 20th anniversary, Randy, of the bangboat. It was just a few months ago.

Have you worn your bangboat shirt yet? No. Will you ever wear it? Of course. I didn't know if you'd ever wear it. No, no, no. It's a joke. It pokes fun. Cubby, you know me. I'm not a big Vikings guy. I'm not a big NFL guy anymore. I get pissed off nine times out of ten. You're a big strong guy. I don't like the way the NFL plays the game now compared to 30, 35 years ago.

But Josh got me a bang boat t-shirt for Christmas. Oh, hell, that, you know me. In my mind, that is the greatest. moment in the history of the Minnesota Vikings. It's up there for sure. Yeah. I'll wear that proudly. Who's wife is the one that ruined that? I can't remember. Is it Van Ginkle's wife? One of them were, uh, because they were talking about doing it this year.

Yeah. One of the wives were like, no, no, no, no, no. I thought she was joking. Was she seriously upset? Oh, I guess. Maybe I misunderstood. I don't know. I figured she was like serious. I have no idea who's wife was. I have a ha-ha-ha joke at the same time.

I don't know whose wife put the kibosh on. It sounds like something to josh. that Josh's wife would do, to be honest. She's pretty laid back. Oh, she is. You don't know her the way I do. That is true. That is true.

Another listener says one of the big sports stories here locally should have been my return to Maple Lake. Oh, that's true. My nonviolent return to Maple Lake this year for the first time. It was a glorious thing. Right. You got out unscathed. Yep. When does the documentary come out?

September of 2027. Yeah. I got in and out of that town without any trouble after that terrible. Yeah, even welcomed by the mayor. Yeah, the mayor was there. Wow. She gave me a hug. Oh, wow.

Did anybody apologize? No, but I've received so much. I've gotten so many apologies over the text machine over the years, Dana. Well, you have to. What did she whispered to you in your ear when she hugged you? She said, get out. Get out and stay out. Don't look behind me.

Say it to my face. I shut. And get out of town. You mentioned you got so many apologies over the years via text, and you kind of had to because it was the entire town that beat you up, including the former mayor. The former mayor, 1992. They tuned me up good.

For cribe's sake, the Timberwell went out and beat Chicago on the road by 35 points. Randy Shaver, you mentioned the wolf's bench yesterday. You wanted more out of Nas Reed. The prick went out last night and dumped you. 33 points on the Bulls. Yeah, had a great game last night. I mean, they had kind of a slow start last night, but certainly. What the wolves did? It's friggin. They're so notorious for that. Glad I just didn't take a sip of water. Spitz take. The second half was amazing. I mean, they scored 81 in the second half. I mean, they got production from just about everybody.

And it didn't, it didn't hurt that Kobe White and Josh Giddy both got hurt. That didn't, that did not help Chicago's cause last night. They didn't turn the ball over and they hit their three-point baskets. When the wolves do those two things, they're very difficult to beat. Just about every team is difficult to beat when they do that. But yeah, the wolves are sure.

Sure. They rely so much on that. Timberwolves, next up, they play in Georgia against the Hawks tomorrow afternoon. Nicola Yokic left. Yes. How about Yokic? Nicola Yokicich of the Denver Nuggets left the game last night after injuring his knee.

Is there any final, final word on that? Have not seen anything more on, he's going to have an MRI done today. So that will determine. But David Adelman, I mean, if you read between the lines of what David Adelman was saying, it doesn't sound real good. Well, now if we can just get the same thing to happen to four or five players on the Oklahoma City roster, we can have some real laughs around here. Yeah.

For real. Yokic went down, huh? Yeah, he stepped on a player's, it looks like he stepped on, I'm trying to find the video. In fact, I just popped it up here right now. It looks like he stepped on a player stepped on him. Yeah. It looks like. And he tripped.

It's a weird play too. It wasn't, I don't know. Well, usually they are, right? Hard to describe. I mean, it wasn't like he was, you know, out there and nobody touched him. Somebody actually stepped on his foot. Yeah. I don't know.

It's usually a freaky little fluke deal like that. Yeah, yeah. Sit a guy down. Dairy farming, sheet metal, banging your mom, Jesus is texted. And he's from Buffalo, Minnesota. And he says, you know why you didn't have any problems in Maple Lake this year? It's because they're a bunch of bitches. Oh, geez.

Wow. Is that true? He says you're always welcome in Buffalo, he says. I like Buffalo. It sounds like he's trying to start something, man. Yeah. Yeah, he is trying to start. That's aggressive.

Maple Lake and Buffalo have never. liked each other at all. That's news to me. The pigs pretty much pumped that Las Vegas hockey club last night out there on the road in Nevada, don't you know? State of hockey. Jesus. 5-2. Legit, final final of 5-2. I don't have to alter that at all. Oh, you know, old Marcus Johansson. He went out there and produced a goal and three assists. That's a pretty good night's work. I don't care who you are. Yes, sir. Yeah. 9-1-1. Since, December 8th, the pigs are. Old Phil,

the goalie, he only had to get in the way of 16 pucks, if my arithmetic is correct. That's pretty easy work. The boys had a five-rip lead in the second period and just kind of effed off from there. Up next, matinee tomorrow.

They get all the hockey and basketball games out of the way on New Year's Eve to make room for college football. Used to be the North Star is played on New Year's Eve at home. Do you remember that, Nick? Yeah. It just seemed like the North Stars always had a New Year's Eve game at the mat.

Yeah. At night, too. Now they don't want to compete. Yeah, now they don't want to compete with college football. So they, yeah. The Man Bear Pigs will be playing in Northern California tomorrow against the San Jose Sharks. Just thinking of New Year's Eve, North Stars game. Wonder what the Thunderbird was like those nights.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Dripping with STDs, Dana, they tore it down for a reason. Yes. It smelled like pee. The bird. Stale booze. And vomit.

Vomit, regret, and STDs. It regret. Wow. Much regret. So you never stayed at the Fantasweets. Always wanted to. In Burnsville? Yeah.

In high school. Have you really ready? What room? Do you remember the room? What was the design? What was the theme? Yeah, if you're not familiar, it was in Burnsville? Or was it Savage?

Oh, they had different themes? It was right there in the corner of 13, like by Burnsville High School. Was it really that close to that? Yeah. A bondage room and a... I stayed in a honeymoon jacuzzi heart suite. Did they have a heart-shaped bed? I think we...

Yes, they did. So cool. I think we stayed in a room that had like a convention. convertible car. That's funny. This sounds awesome. Yeah, in high school I always wanted to go. I was like,

someday I'll date someone and maybe we can go there, but they tore it down. Oh, yeah. I did. It was just one of those, not a dare, but you had to do it. And to be clear,

I slept fully clothed. Yeah, I heard that place might have been a little nasty. So many stories. Yeah. You must have done it in the shower or something. I got to, I was at an event. And it was,

funny, but I was at Eddie Webster's. Oh, my God. And I got a gift certificate. So it was a free night and a suite. And I was like, yeah, I would have checked this out. I never went to the, never spent the night at the Fantasweeds, baby.

Randy, you got it on there too, huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Me and the missus a long time ago. Were you married at that time? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Long time ago. That was a long time ago. It's funny of those saying, you put it on, it's not on your bucket list, but you do it and you put it on there and you scratch it off.

Yeah, I bet you're doing a lot of scratching. I wish I would have been there or been able to go. Okay, so I'm looking at the map now where it was located. It was also right around the corner from Skateville, which is where we would go for elementary school field trips. Skateville? Yeah. Waved high to the kids on my way out. Enjoy your skating, kids.

Dad. So it looks like. some of the rooms they had, they had an outer space room, caves, forest, Rome, Greece, Egypt, undersea, Wild West, and then as you mentioned, see Willie, like the... The Wild West.

I feel like I've been cheated. Saddle up. We've entered the Wild West room. There's a saddle in there. Basically, what you're doing to go? Welcome to Fountainsweets. Randy walked his wife into that suite and said, brace yourself.

This is going to be good. These look nice. I'm looking at some old photos. Right. A lot of that is just literally a lot of artwork, but that's not. Good photography. Yeah, that's great angles. Hot air balloon.

I'm mostly interested in the Wild West theme room. It was a saddle involved. Ashless chaps and a bullwhip. Oh, there's two Caesar's courts. Casino Royale. It was, it was. menu of rooms that you could have. Oh, yeah.

I'll tell you what. It was awesome, man. Missed out. If you want to know what our aunts and uncles were up to, they were hanging out at Fanta sweets back at the day. Randy, here's that World Junior Hockey Tournament update. Oh, good. I've been waiting for it.

Thank you, man. Get Brad writer on the telephone. Brand's going to want to hear this. I cannot wait. Okay, let's do it. The United States Hockey Club overcame a two-gold deficit to beat the Slovak's last night playing right here in time. Good deal.

A kid by the name of Hagan's. Skippy, I think, is the first name. Skippy Hagan's. He tied her up for the U.S. and then the little prick even went ahead and netted the game winner too, by God. Wow. The U.S. beat the Slovaks. Undefeated, right?

Undefeated. Oh, great. Just great. I'm just learning this. Next up for Junior Team USA, a New Year's Eve game against those big, damn stubborn Swedes. Oh, boy.

It's always the friggin' Swedes, Josh. Right when you think you got a chance to catch your breath, right when you think you have some peace and quiet, here comes some loud-ass swede. You've never been a fan. It's always a problem with them. Yeah, you've never been a fan. Anderson, Larson, Carlson, Erickson, all of them, a problem.

Next step, they got to play the friggin' Swedes. Maybe to change your mood. There's a fan of sweets in, uh, Wisconsin, Dodgeville, Wisconsin that has a lot of the same rooms. Oh, let's go. Broadcasting live. Oh, you know what we should do that. Wow.

Right after the casino broadcast. I'm going there. Where did you say it was in Wisconsin? Where did it? Dodgeville, Wisconsin. It looks like about a four-hour drive. Worth it. Wow. Going to get it on. Monday night football last night, the Atlanta Falcons defeated the Los Angeles Rams.

Wow. Big upset. Is that a big, does that mean terrible things for the Rams? Well, I mean, I think the Rams had an outside chance to possibly make some noise in that NFC West if they were to end up 12 and 4 like the rest of them. But Atlanta, Bejohn Robinson last night was fantastic. I mean, wow, so good. So that's why you were. And Kirk, and Kirk, and Kirkgo finished the season strong. Did he now?

Yeah, he did. Chains. He did. Jones Care. Ashley, why were you grinning and goofing around here a minute ago? Oh, about Bejohn Robinson because he was on my fantasy team. Fantasy football.

I beat my husband in the championship. Wow. Congratulations. Don't care. Part two. I'm a winner. You're a

loser, honey. Wow. All right, here's a couple of sure signs that we're talking about a sport story from the 2020s. Number one, that godless, soulless and aforementioned wildly misinformed social media is involved. And number two, an athlete's parent has included themselves in a squabble on behalf of their child. Oh, I'd be so embarrassed. That, right, Covey, that used to be the last same thing a young adult wanted was for their parent to take up for them during a conflict. No, that just makes it so much worse. Right, see, Willie Miles? Absolutely.

I've never, I've never done that. I don't, I, it despises me. I feel very fortunate to have grown up in the time that I grew up because that never happened. Never. Never happened. You never had parents who questioned coaches. You never had. No, you didn't.

It just never happened because my mom and dad never said word one about coaches, teachers, nothing. My dad just told me shut up and listen. Right. That's all what we do. They're adults. Or quit. If you can't listen, quit. They never ever questioned a single coach or teacher.

Those were authority figures that you were to look up to and respect. This is a little different kind of a story. So let me just. But the point was made. Back in the day, it made you look, S-A-W. UFT soft if mom or dad stepped in. Maybe not so much these days. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure what it appears, you know, how it looks these days when mom and dad. Here's the deal. Former NFL quarterback, former New York Giants quarterback, Danny Cannell went on television a day or two ago and said that he wasn't so sure that current Giants quarterback, Jackson Party DART. He said he wasn't so sure that party dart was the long-term. answer for the New York Giants at quarterback. Wow. I don't know if Jackson Dart is the long-term answer for the Giants. I think it's somebody that you should picture for 10 to 12 years is going to be your guy,

but I want to see him take that next step as a passer, and I just haven't seen it yet. That's what Danny Cannell said, right? Okay. Party Darts father hopped up to social media and sounding very much like a 17-year-old from the mid-90s, Jackson Party Darts father tweeted to Danny Cannell, Quote, bro, eat a fat one.

Oh, my God. Remember when I said that this guy gave me, like, douchebag vibes? Who, party dart? Yeah, Jackson, yeah. This makes sense now. His dad's a douchebag.

He's probably a douchebag. It doesn't fall far from that tree, but that's not. That's true story. First off, has any of us ever heard our dad say, bro? No, I would be so uncomfortable.

Nope, did not. So I'm guessing that Jackson Party Dart didn't ask his dad to get on social media and defend him. Dad did it anyway. Right. And said to Danny Cannell, bro, eat a fat one? That's frigging embarrassing. Take the internet away from dad. That's a father who's living vicariously through his son.

Oh, heck yeah. Good call. As a coach, as a former college coach, high school, I've seen it. I've seen it. You know, parents come up and talk to you about their kid, and it's like, you know what? Because that's what it boils down to. That's where it all comes from. And it's really sad.

What's John Morant's dad's name again? Oh, God. Right. He sits there with the sunglasses on courtside. Yeah. You live in, my parents never even came to my games. My dad said I didn't want to be that. father that felt like you need to look at me if you if you screwed up my dad's it's your game

there you go you go your thing t morant is his name t-e-e-e-e right t-double e that's very unprofessional you know yeah well see willie why don't you just go eat a fat one yeah everybody eat fat ones at the fanta sweets where you can eat a fat one Many fat ones have been devoured. True story. At Fanta Sweets. This is a hell of a deal. What else is going on?

Oh, college football. More games today. Roll the boat scottiemy and go over Big Ten Network. You got your Independence Bowl. You got your Music City Bowl. You got your Alamo. bowl and I believe your Relye Quest Bowl going on, Randy Schaver. And then come tomorrow night and New Year's Day, all those playoff games kick in again.

Yep, those will be good games. You're looking forward to that, I know. College football announcer guy, former player, of course, Booger McFarland. Remember when it was suddenly trendy to hate Booger McFarland? Yeah, people hated Boog. He's got the Booger Mobile. I never went along with it because I knew that Boogs was where it's at. I love Boogs.

I love that he's... continued his broadcasting career. You know, when it first started, everyone was like, oh, this guy's terrible. He's just kind of goofy, and people didn't like that. Everyone turned on him. I'm so happy that Boogs is still a thing, calling college football games.

Boogsy was part of the Pop-Tarts Bowl. He was talking about the game at halftime. And someone asked him if he had any memories of his first bowl game experience. Where the hell did he play college ball again? Was it Florida State or something? Bugs? Can't remember.

Anyway. Had to be in Florida. Someone asked him if he had any memories of his first college bowl game experience, and he has very specific memories. He said my first experience was at the Peach Bowl in Atlanta, first time getting a per diem, and he got $987. And he went to one nice establish. he said, and I gave it all away.

My first experience in the Peach Bowl in Atlanta, first time getting per diem, $987, went to one nice establishment, and I gave it all away. They have some good wings, though. Lemon pepper wings. Lemon pepper wings. You guys know what he's talking about? LSU.

He went to LSU. LSU. Do you know what he's talking about, C. Willie, with the excellent lemon pepper wings? Yeah, he went to his trip club. He went to Magic City. Absolutely, he did. Yeah.

They got the best wings. Yeah. That's why you go. I've never been to Magic City Gentlemen's Club in Atlanta, but I'd like to go. Yeah, I don't know if it's a joke, the Wings thing, but everybody says that that's gone there. So I didn't know if that was...

I have friends who have personally walked in head joint and said they go there for the Wings. Nikki like Winky. Oh, yeah. Niki walks Winging in a show. Wings in a show. If I don't get any wings, I doubt I'd be terribly upset. I'm hanging out at Magic City.

Well, they got nice thighs, too. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What did I say? So a lot of folks are getting a kick out of Booger McFarlane just up and admitting during this college ball game that his fondest or first memory was hitting the boom boom room down there in Atlanta. I mean, Nick, for a while, you pretty much had a room at Rick's Cabaret. I was there quite a bit. You were there so often.

Did you even ever spend $987? dollars. Hell no. One day. Yeah. No. You're having some fun. No.

A lot of, uh, a lot of what I got over there, cubby was on the house. No charge. They might have even handed me a 20. If you know what I mean. Everyone knows what I mean. Independence Bowl, Music City Bowl, Alamo Bowl, ReliQuest Bowl, Randy. Sounds exciting. Oh, Golden Gopher basketball won their game last night against Farley Dickinson.

Bro the boat, Scott, Yamaha, and Go Go over Big Ten Network. All right, so every time I say anything about the Golden Gold. Now, PJ is going to be there every time. I love PJ. Farley. Who's Farley Dickinson? There a little. All right. I forgot that that makes Kawhi Leonard.

Kowai Leonard laugh. They're a school in New Jersey, C. Willie Miles. What type of school, like a... The type of school that you only need a pen to get into. That's hard at school. You need a number two pencil. And you're allowed to. I don't know anything about Farley Dickinson

except it makes Kauai Leonard. It's immature, Kauai. Eat a fat one. Yeah, you tell him, Josh. Randy Schaber, we're letting you off the hook early again today. Sounds good. We're letting you off the hook early. That's how we do it during our mid-holiday season,

Goat Rodeo, Year End Tribute Celebration Broadcast. you go and have a wonderful New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Enjoy watching all the football and we'll talk to your monkey ass come next Monday. Hey, have a safe holiday, man. She really miles has something to tell you. He just wanted to say the pajama pictures was awesome on Facebook, brother. Yeah, those were cute. Yeah, you don't have to do that again.

I gave you a like. Hey, man, I was forced to do that. I saw that. I don't know. You look pretty darn happy, Randy. He's a professional. He looked like a hospital. He knows how to smile on camera.

Oh, awesome. Do I want to have any idea what you're talking about? Probably not. Fair enough. We'll see you later, Randy. See ya. It's Dr. Andrea. Here to save you about $5,000 and answer your pet questions.

It's Dr. Andrea. On the 93X half-assed morning show. Yeah, we're getting there now. It is 818 on the 93X half-fast morning show. Here's our pal, Dr. Andrea Johnston from German Animal Hospital in Minnetonka. Dr. Andrea's visit is brought to you each month by Stray Dog Restaurant and Bar in Northeast Minneapolis. Brought to you each month by the Stray Dog Restaurant Northeast. Check this out just for you folks listening, our beloved half-ass morning show listeners.

They're offering up an additional 20% off all online orders with special promo code 93X. So go to the Stray Dog Northeast website, order yourself something or another to eat, type that promo, code 93x in there and boom you've got 20% off. How you been, Dr. Andrea? I'm great. I'm great. It's great to see you. The snow, the weather, the holidays, man.

Yeah. A lot. So do you get a little more busy this time of year with, you know, dogs eating everything on the Christmas table? Yeah, we get like Christmas ornaments, you know, the hooks. I was thinking like chocolates, ornaments, even. The chocolates, you know, they get into stuff, bones from the garbage. That one always freaks me out.

Do you get a lot of the, like from real Christmas trees? I always heard that they're not supposed to drink that water, that it's really talked. Oh, yeah. Well, then my dog's in trouble because that's all it does. Really? Oh, okay. It's just something I've always heard. I've never heard.

My dog sits there and we'll drink it all day. Yeah, I've never heard there was any harm. Oh, I can't relax now. I wouldn't worry about it. I've always been so stressed. She likes the taste of pine. Yeah. See Willie Miles.

Yeah, we're talking about dogs drinking the Christmas tree water. I thought every dog did that. My dog loves it. I mean, it's an available bucket of water. Yeah, at the bottom of a tree. They know, their two favorite things. What dog wouldn't? Feel free, by the way, our listening audience, to text in a question about your house pet,

651, 989, 93. But more or less, we just wanted to catch up with you, Dr. Andrea. Yeah. And thank you for another great year. Of course, I love it. of your Q&A segment here on the Half Fast Morning Show. I texted Andrea last night and said, you know, we're kind of summing up the year on a few different subjects, summing up the year of 20 and 25.

And I asked her, you know, if you had any great professional or personal stories from the year 2025, we'd love to hear it. Now, professionally, was the tampon incident in the calendar year of 2025? Oh, yeah. I mean, that tops the charts, I think, this year. with the 23 tampons. For folks who didn't hear it originally. You've got to hear this, C. Willie.

You've never heard of that many tampons. No. For those who haven't heard it, can you tell us the 23 tampon story from? Yeah, I had a dog come in that got into their garbage and was vomiting and

pooping tampons out. Wow. And we took x-rays and were like, there's more in there. And the dog stopped pooping. It wasn't eating. continued to vomit. So I had to go in surgically and pull out the remaining 18. That's unreal. Dirty tampons.

They just swalled up. I mean, and they just kept coming. Like, it was just, oh. That goes down in the books as one of the gross ones. I'm picturing like a clown pulling out all those ties. Totally. You're like, there's another one. There's another one.

The clown with the ties in the shirt pocket. Yeah, they just keep coming. Where are these coming from? So now, are these, are these? the pads or the... No, the actual, like the tampon with the string. Oh, okay. Good question, C. Will.

Hey, you know what? I had nine older sisters. I actually think there were like a handful of pads in there, too. Whoa! Yeah. Okay. A little bit of everything. Yeah. I mean, yeah. And I think when we originally told the story, it was either you or Ashley who said, okay, why are there so many dirty tampons available at any time?

You don't use that many. I mean, I guess. For the dog or anyone else. I mean, empty your trash every once in a while, maybe. I mean, there's probably a big family of women. That could be. I had that. Yeah, you sure did.

Nine older sisters. See, Willie Miles comes from a family with nine older sisters. He could barely get a word in edgewise, and they beat his ass. Oh, and period. Consently. I was fighting from my life every day. They really do sink up. Yeah.

I always think that was kind of joking around. That's great. You'd have to step around all kinds of lady items throughout your entire upbringing. Absolutely. Yeah. Do you have a dog eating underwear? No, we couldn't afford a dog, ma'am. What about nowadays?

You're not a pet owner, are you? Absolutely not. You're not. Because you travel so much. I travel so much. And I don't want to take care of nothing. What about once you, because you've already slowed down quite a bit with your touring and everything. Let's say when you finally put a lid on it, I know you and your wife like to travel.

Would you consider a pet? Nope. No. Just not, that's just not your style. No, because you got to get up, you got to go outside with them, and I don't. Not necessarily, see Willie Miles. Yeah, but.

When you get a little five-pound sock puppet dog like I have, and you just give it a little litter box, you don't have to go. But I understand what you mean. Yeah, you've got to take them for walks, though. What about like a fish? To the vet. No.

I don't want anything I got to take care. I want to be able to walk out the door, lock it, and not worry about if I got to come back in a week, two weeks, or three weeks. Fish are actually a lot of work, too. Dr. Andrew, what's the simplest pet? Because I want C. Willie Miles to have a friend in his life. You should get some chickens. Chickens.

Oh, are they easy? They're pretty easy. They're kind of messy, but they can, they're pretty hardy, and they just hang out outside. You know, we were gifted a cockroach once. Yeah, that was a thing. That was a thing for a while. Hissing Jesus. Yeah, hissing Jesus.

Rest in peace. And Ashley, did he take? take much work at all? No, not at all. My parents got oddly attached to him. They swore because I guess they're like little antennas move when they're smelling or I don't know, whatever it is, whatever they're doing. And my parents swore that whenever they entered a room and talked, he could tell and his little antennas would go crazy. Oh my. I mean, chickens eat cockroaches. Oh, do they? Yeah, they love them. I think chickens are a good idea because it's really hard to get like emotionally attached. And so if something does happen, it's like, I don't

You know, it's a chicken. You guys know that I had a very brief run as a chicken owner. I was gifted two chickens for my birthday. This is 15, 20 years ago. Wow. Two friends of mine show up at the house with two chickens in a basket and say, here you go. Happy birthday.

And I was totally thrown. What are you guys doing? And they said, well, don't you remember at the state fair, we were walking through the poultry barn and you said, meaning me, out loud, apparently I said, hey, it might be cool to own a couple of chickens, right? I had no memory of that. We were drunk, for Pete's sake.

But these two buddies of mine remember that and brought me the two chickens. So I had an outdoor dog kennel. I put them in there. I thought, okay, let's see where this goes. And they became somewhat friendly, and I would feed them bananas and Cheerios. That's what I read on the Internet was bananas and Cheerios. And then one, I don't know, maybe two weeks after they moved in,

woke up one day. One of them had pressed an egg out and died. And the other one was just standing there looking confused. Oh, wow. That's kind of sad. I took the living chicken back to where it came from and said, look. There you go. Should you make a little egg sandwich or anything?

No, my dog ate the egg. Chickens eat their own eggs, too. If I break them on the ground, they go nuts. They love it. My old dachshund, who I'm sure, your and you remember. Ozzie, he picked up that egg and walked around the yard with it quite proudly

and then he ate it. Wow. Chicken, Sea Willie Miles, we'll work on this idea. Yeah. No, I don't. You don't have to. I'm good. You know what, though?

I will tell you, I'm assigning health certificates for all over the world for people to travel with their pets. I mean, I just did one two days ago for Turks and Caicos. Oh, wow. See, Willie Miles goes down. So now you want me to take my dog on my vacation with me? You guys take your dog with you.

No. Absolutely. Explain this to me now. So what are you doing? So you have to fill out, as a vet, you have to fill out international health certificates if they're going to travel with the animal outside the country. Okay. And it's a process.

I mean, it is a process, but so many people now are traveling with their pets. I mean, I've done Israel. I've done Hawaii. I've Turks and Caicos. You're seeing it more and more lately as opposed to years ago. Yeah, they're just taking their pets with them. I mean, that's sweet and all, but that's one of the, of the reasons why I go on vacation.

Totally. Right. Any unusual pets? No. You know, you hear those stories about like peacocks and turtles. No, I haven't had any other. Just dogs and cats. Likes turtles. I like turtles. I like turtles.

People are picking up their dog and cat and taking it across the globe. Yeah. Huh. And it's like for two, it's so much work to do and they are gone for like 10 days. It's work for you. It's work for me. It's work for them. They have to pay all these fees to travel at the time.

And that dog doesn't care that they're in Turks and Kekos? No, no, he does not. It's going to come back with hookworms. Wow. It's a good point. Let's get all veterinariany here real quick. I know we're just kind of having fun and effing off, but what is hookworms and what kind of damage can they do to your pet? Oh, yeah.

I mean, they can do damage to people. They're the ones that you're walking in the sand, and they can actually come in through the bottom of your foot and migrate up your leg. Oh, yeah. God, no. And there's, like, crazy venereal diseases that dogs come back, like in third world countries. What? Wait. Like STDs.

They're hooking up with random dogs and stuff. I mean, there's some transmissible stuff. Hey, that's what we do on vacation. The dog might as well, too, right? My God, my dog went to Turks and Caicos. Everyone in the family now has worms, and my dog has herpes. What? And she's pregnant.

Last night when I was texting with Andrea, you also mentioned a best of 2025 personal story. Oh, yeah. And I'm very excited to hear about this, Josh, a personal story from Andrea. I actually asked my kid if I could tell this story because it involves my child. What did she say? She's like, yeah, just don't use my name. Okay. So, I don't know, about a month and a half ago, my daughter, one of my kids called me and said,

mom, I'm going on a field trip today. I get car sick. Can I take one of those anti-naja meds that you have? I'm like, yeah, just have dad get it. It's in a foil and give it to you before I go to school. She's like, okay. I'm like, and repeat the dose later that day. She's like, okay.

Take a couple of them. Yeah. So she goes on the field trip. They go rock climbing of all places, right? So later that night, she gets, I pick her up from school and she is just sick as a dog. Like, can't get off the toilet. Oh, no. What's going on?

You got a hockey game here in two hours. She's like, I know. No, but I just can't get off the toilet. I'm like, all right. So she actually ends up playing the hockey game. Oh, what's a trooper? And I had to give her like a hand signal of things were coming through or breezers. She was that sick.

So she was signaling you, I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm good. I feel fine. I just can't stop going in the back. Good Lord. So the next day I'm cleaning out my husband's car and I grab the foil. And instead of giving her an anti-naugia medication, he'd given her

two adult doses of a laxative. Wow. You know, your poor daughter and your poor husband, he's never going to live that down. It's payback time. We just can't figure out how to get him back. So you're saying you guys are still together? Yes.

I mean, he overdosed a poor child on lack of death. Wow. Oh, my day. On field trip and game day. A rock climbing. She was rock climbing? Yeah. Imagine that's social social.

Suicide. Yes. What about the person coming up behind her? Exactly. So luckily, for her social status, it did not strike her while climbing the face of the rock. Correct. Yes. Oh, God.

That poor kid. That's how you gain a nickname that you never lose. Exactly. She played a hockey game with a constant code brown. Correct. That is the best athlete we have in town. I totally agree. That's better than the Michael Jordan flu game in 97.

Hockey player. are so tough. They really are. You can stay clenched like that for the whole hockey game while you're skating and swinging the stick. The poor kid. How long before she was back to normal? I took a good 24 hours, 24 hours.

Good Lord. But my husband dropped her an email at school and was like, hey, super sorry. I just found out I gave you a lack today. Wow. Yeah, exactly did. My bad, my bad. He left a paper trail, too. I'm super sorry

sends a little giff I bet Christmas for her was awesome Especially from dad He hooked her up Man yeah Oh wow We're talking with Dr. Andrea Johnston From German Animal Hospital in Minnetonka

We've got to take a break in a few minutes But What For pet owners out there What's new for dogs and cats Is there any new, the good and the bad? You were just telling my husband about something new that you guys had. Well, it's a laser therapy.

Yeah, that's pretty sweet. Laser therapy is really good for like wounds and, like, that would work on the dog that was attacked by the coyote. Oh, yeah, my mom's dog. Your mom's dog got attacked by a coyote? Yeah, she's alive, though. She's a trooper. What was the damage? It was pretty bad.

Yeah, she's got like drainage tubes all over her. I actually texted Dr. Andrea. It happened to Christmas even. morning and my mom was looking for a place that's a little bit you know more in a like a good price range not going to charge her an arm and a leg to bring a play set a place set sorry okay he's losing his hearing sorry about that mom was go ahead start over yeah so she was looking for a clinic that was more affordable than the regular ones out there and so dr angia responded and helped us out and she asked if we had a picture of the little dogs injuries but

At the time, she would not go anywhere near anybody. She was hiding and cowling under her bed. Just like a little kind of yorky vibe. Oh, Christ. Yeah. How did that coyote not just to tuck it between its cheek and gum like some Copenhagen? My mom managed to scare it away just in time. And yeah, she's a fighter.

Good for her. So laser treatment for a dog's injuries. Yeah. So you can do it like for surgical cases, post-op. You can do it for arthritis. So, and they do it in people as well. I mean, it's a more holistic. way to help minimize inflammation.

It's kind of cool. What would be the old way then? There wasn't really well. I mean, you could do like anti-inflammatories, which we do too. So this could change the game for puppies and kitties? Yeah. Yeah, it's just an alternative. It's another option.

There's two new, not new, I should say, but they've been out a while of arthritic drugs for dogs and cats that you can give once a month. Oh, that's great. Yeah. So they're finding a lot of good things for older. pets, which is awesome. Okay. Kind of forget about those old ones.

Here's an interesting question from a listener about, you know, what's new for 20 and 26 kind of a thing. What are some of the new breed trends you have been seeing lately?

Everybody's still mixing with a poodle. Everybody wants a woodle or a schnoodle or a doodle. Guilty. Yeah, right? Everybody's everybody. is mixing with a poodle.

Is it because they love poodles so much, or they love the combination names? Well, theoretically, they, poodles don't shed if they're certain, but the problem is, is that's been kind of bred out of them because everyone's breeding them. Yeah. That that gene for no shedding is not there anymore. Uh-uh. So the poodle doodle-woodle thing is still hotter than hell. Yes.

See, Willie Mouse, is there a dog? No. There's no dog that you look at when you're taking a walk with the wife where you go. okay, that'd be kind of a cool pet to have. Can I tell you something? Go ahead. I love dogs. Yeah.

Absolutely. And you can, a golden retriever, that's my favorite dog. Yeah. That's my favorite dog. I absolutely love them. And I love a bulldog, English bulldog. Okay. I will not own a dog.

I would love, I've walked people dogs. I babysit people dogs, but I don't ever want to own a pet. Well, then you know what? You can just go home. Right. I love them. I think they're great. They're great animals to have friends.

But, you know, I'm good. All right. Fair enough. The 93X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning. I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer.

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That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Vince Colonais is redefining news talk. I'm Vince Connay's host of the Vince Podcast. I'm bringing you the truth beneath the headlines of all of the nation's top stories. In-depth interviews. We feature newsmaking interviews with the top guests on the whole planet. And I'll ask the questions you only dream of other interviewers.

asking and a front row seat to the most important conversations of the day. It's a show with an obsessive focus on what's good for America. You are going to love Vince. The Vince Show. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. It's Dr. Andrea on the 93X half-ass morning show. By damn. We've, well, we haven't come to the complete end.

We're approaching the end of our mid-holiday season goat rodeo end of the year tribute broadcast celebration, and it's pretty cool to wrap things up with two of our favorite pals, Dr. Andrea Johnston and world-class entertainer C. Willie Miles. We're done until next Monday. Wow. Yeah, after a day, we're done till next Monday. It was an two-day work week, Dr. Andrew. Good for you guys. The driving in here sucked. Yeah, it was. A little sketchy. All the two days to come back, yeah. And so we appreciate you guys, for God's sake. We almost called both as last night and said forget about it because we knew the roads were still going to be kind of iffy this morning. But yeah, we're done until next Monday after today. We're hoping everyone has a

lights out New Year's Eve and all that. Before we're all said and done with Andrea and C. Willie, both of you, wildest New Year's party you ever went to. Oof. Dr. Andrea went to college, Miami of Ohio. Or it could have been a high school party. She Willie Miles grew up in the woods of Alabama and then went to St. Cloud State. So, yeah, there was a couple of wild ones up there. It was crazy. That's the reputation.

Right. For sure. Exactly. That was the reputation. When you hear party school in Minnesota, a lot of people point to St. Cloud State. We were legendary. Did you drink a couple of cases of Meister brownouts right? You don't drink.

I didn't drink, man, but the party was lit. Did you beat some people up? No, no, that didn't happen either. Hook up with a couple of... That. Dr. Andrea, wildest New Year's Eve party you ever went to. You know, I remember one year, because you're always home for break, right? Because you're not in college at the time.

One year I drove to Chicago for New Year's Eve only, which was crazy. Another year, we went up north and sadly just destroyed a friend's cabin. Oh, no. Yeah, I think the parents were going through a divorce, and this cabin was just kind of sitting there, figuring out where it was going to go, and man, did it get wrecked? That's awesome.

This was high school or college? Well, I think we were, like, freshmen in college. Dang. Wow. What did the kid who hosted, what did they make of the end results of this New Year's Eve? You know, I think he was just mad. His parents were getting divorced,

so he was kind of like, let's stick it to him. Also, he was leading the charge. Yeah. It was pretty messy. Just let her buck. Yeah. Thanks a lot, mom and dad, right? Really?

Broken family. Yeah, no, I got a broken family. You start drinking up all the hooch. And your parents got divorced before they got back together again, Nick? Did you guys decide you were going to ruin the house or anything out of anger? Who could have told the difference? Oh, wow. No, we weren't vengeful like that at all.

We weren't. because I knew deep down Josh in 1983 I knew deep down inside they'll get married again in 99 juffy bastards that they were you kind of have a unique story aside from the fact they got remarried but you I think is this the only divorce with children that it's ever ended this way the first the only time they got divorced

1983 so I was a sixth grade They sat me and my twin brother and my older sister down, and they made it very clear that they were splitting because of us. Which goes against every ABC after school special. It's not because of you. Mommy and daddy have just grown apart. It's normal. You see that played out in movies,

and I'm sure you've heard stories. You've heard parents who got divorced who said to their children, this is not about you. It's just not your fault. We love you. Our folks made it very clear. Their marriage did not work because of them. of us. That was a little bit of a tough pill to swallow for a 12-year-old, but I learned to live with it.

Even your sister? Well, I guess, didn't you say your dad kind of would forget that he had a daughter at times? Wow. There were times, yes, especially when she was young. Well, you know, once my brother and I got started in sports, then my dad completely forgot that he had a daughter, where she would walk through the room and he would say, who in the hell? You got a friend As a red-headed kid just walked in Oh, that's right, that's my Oh, yeah, we had some pretty wild New Year's parties

Back in the day. A lot of kegs and a lot of fights. I remember, I think it was, I'm going to go with 92 Going into 93. All of us living in a garbage house at St. Cloud State. And on New Year's Eve, I think it was somewhere around 40 below zero. It was so brutally cold.

And we had three times the amount of people in this house that was legal in the state of minutes, just choked with people. And it was so hot in the house because of all the people that when you did walk outside to smoke some drugs or whatever,

steam would pour out of the door like the place was on frigging fire. Yeah. So it was 111 degrees inside, 40 below outside. Since this is a pet-related segment, Andrea, we had a Great Dane who was going through a big growth spurt when she was young, and she would steam on cold days. Her body would get so hot and see the heat rising off. It was crazy. That's nuts. Wow.

Wow. Visiting here with Dr. Andrea and C. Willie. Here's a question for you, Dr. Andrea. What is a listener texted in? What is something that pet parents worry about and they come to you, and it's something that they don't need to be so concerned? That's a good one. I like that question.

You see what I mean? Like people are coming to you saying, oh, my God, my dog or cat is doing it. And you always have to say, look, it's not a big deal. Yeah. So a big one is reverse sneezing. Have you ever seen a dog reverse sneeze? Yeah, it's pretty violent, but it's basically how they just, it's basically how they just clear their nose, you know?

Yeah. If you YouTube, if you type in reverse sneezing, people come in all the time for that, and you're like, your dog just sneezed. Yeah. It's adorable, I think. Yeah. Especially when a dog can cut loose with four or five in a row. Yeah.

My dog does it when he gets really excited, and I have to, like, blow in his face, and that usually helps. That can help. Yeah. Seriously? The other one I get a lot is my dog ate, and I don't want to take chocolate lightly, but, like, people are like, my dog ate a chocolate chip cookie.

Do I need to induce vomiting? And you're like, or a Hershey kiss. I mean, it's a lot of chocolate they have to eat. And a lot of times it has to be like dark chocolate or semi-sweet chocolate. Not two morsels of a chocolate chip cookie. I don't want to downplay it because I don't know people, but like people get real intense about chocolate. There's so many more things that could be worse. Because that's what you always hear, right?

That's the one everybody tells you, oh man, your dog's going to die. My dog ate a bag of, like a huge bag of fun-sized snickers, and she was totally cool. My friend's dog. Sugar. Yeah, she was just biving. My friend's dog took a weed gummy, and they thought the dog was going to die. Coolest dog ever. He just had to work through that.

Yeah, and he didn't know. Nobody knew what was going on. The dog was, he thought, oh, no. And he loves his dogs. Like, he's obsessed with his dogs, and he thought, oh, no, this is it. She's on her way out. And then, boy, did his wife not let him forget that he dropped a weed gummy. Wow.

They go for a ride, for sure. In that case, you don't bring them, or what do you recommend? I mean, if they get a lot, yeah, you have to watch them because their heart rate changes and they're just super out of it. But most of them just work through it. Let's get hungry. Yeah, you know, people worry and, yeah, they overreact. I've done it. I've done it.

But, yeah, your dog cuts loose with a couple of sneezes or something like that. Yeah, we get that one a lot. I think I could watch that on the Internet for a good hour. Can I go on YouTube? Animal sneezing? Could I find an hour of reverse animal sneezes? Probably. For sure you could.

Yeah. I'm sure I could. People love documenting cute things their pets do. That's what the internet used to be all about. Yeah. Back when the internet was fun. Yeah. Then you had to bring up politics, didn't you, John?

I have to talk politics. Yeah. It all went to hell in that moment. The other big one that I should warn you guys in the winter months, especially when things start to melt, is people put anna-freeze in their toilets at their cabins and their RVs to help prevent the pipes from freezing. And then the dogs, you know, if they come up to the cabin, they come up and drink out of the toilet after sitting in the car for hours, that is really toxic. If you've watched one episode of Dateline, you know that that stuff's toxic.

Yeah, yeah, totally. Somebody poisons the other with it. They put it in their lemonade or something. Really? Slowly. Yeah, and they slowly kill their spouse. I remember being told about that when I was a kid. Like if you're doing something with your car in the garage.

Yeah. And you end up with a pan full of antifreeze. Get it off the frigging floor. Yeah. Because your dog will lap it up. And next thing, you know, he's walking into the light. Yep. But the antidote is vodka.

Oh. Whoa. What? Yeah. So if you, I mean, honestly, that's not the first one. But if you're up north and have nothing to give your dog after it drank antifreeze, give it a bottle? vodka.

Now you've got to worry about rehab for you, that is the crazy thing I've heard. That helps, like, break the... I can believe that it would just burn right through it. So just fill up your dog's dish with vodka? I don't know if they drink it, but you'd have to kind of force them. You'd get the funnel out.

Oh, no. I suppose I never thought of that that your dog might not want vodka. Anything like ever clear, like high proof. Should we mix it with anything? How come Charlie drunk dialed me like that? I have to do find it kind of fitting on New Year's Eve that we're talking about funneling vodka. I wonder who first figured that out.

That is fascinating, yeah. Isn't it? Well, I mean, the actual medication you use has similar properties to alcohol, but you can't, don't have easy access to it when you're up in the middle of the woods or camping or whatever. That vodka is kind of the alternative. Anybody got any vodka around here? Yeah. What else can vodka do?

Ruin marriages. Is my dog going to become uppity and always prefer the high end? Great grange goose only. This is a great goose. No, you've got to get some Carcove. Carcove. Just the rail. Just give me the rail.

St. Cloud and Carcow, that was my life for two years. Oh, no. I bet you pukewarm. That's all anybody drank at St. Clairce. Carcow is the cheapest thing. It was. 651 or 715, Jesus said he's always applying the antidote just in case.

smart man very smart you load up on the antidote first just in case you make that mistake you don't want to risk it we got to wrap it up thank you to our listeners for another great year

see Willie Miles Dr. Andrew you want to make any shoutouts before we go as we close out 20 and 25 yeah I got a shout out one of my daughters hockey players parents he has listened to you guys for like 30 plus years

Derek Kalin. Oh, thank you, Derek. Derek? Yeah. He's been begging for a shout-out. Well, he deserves it after this nonsense for 30 years. He's put up with a lot. And he said he doesn't even have a Jesus name.

Well, maybe I got to come to one of these games and hang out with Derek and we'll figure out a Jesus name for him. That's pretty cool. Yeah. See, Willie Miles. Thanks for everything, bro. You got anything? Anyone you want to recognize? Yeah, I want to shout out to one of my dearest friends.

I call him my little brother. Reggie Perkins is his birthday today. He's played basketball up at St. Claude State University, former Harlem Globetrotter as well. Oh, sweet. Dude. And it's his birthday. I coached a kid. Wow.

I love him to death, and I'm going to see him tonight for his little birthday get together. Oh, that's great. So I just want to wish him a happy birthday today. And I also want to shout out to the 93X listeners for all the support you guys gave me this year in all my shows, selling out so many shows. I don't know how many shows you guys showed up to it, but they were. are all sellouts and I really appreciate you guys listening, texting me, and showing me that love and support. I really appreciate it. I did not deserve it, but I always accept it. Word up. We all think that's really cool. Absolutely. Happy New Year, everybody. We'll be back on Monday,

Cubby. Good luck to X Hotel She's, she let us know she's having a medical procedure today. So best of luck to you, pal. Carcough vodka. Just have some vodka. Just have some vodka. A little bit of vodka. Save yourself a couple hundred grand spend 30 bucks on some what you call gray goose happy belated 40th to shoots it deer seven times and misses jesus hardcore flooring jesus text in a happy birthday to his mom on her 68th birthday happy belated birthday to loose stool jesus who had his 60th birthday last friday and says he now can live up to his name happy birthday to skateboard pete jesus and his twin this coming friday happy early birthday to smokes your mom's pot jesus turning 40 on new years and my friend Ashley has something for you as well.

Yeah, shout out to my neighbors, Brandy and Troy. They're ice fishing on Malax right now. She texted me and wanted me to say hi. So, hello. Happy New Year. The 93X half-assed morning show. What's going on, podcast, pimps? Dana here to once again sing the praises of standard heating and air conditioning.

I got on the ball early. I already got my AC tuned up for summer and I think you should too. An AC tune up means better efficiency, fewer breakdowns, and peace of mind before we get choked slammed with heat. And right now, it's their early bird special. $45 off an AC tune-up or $90 and you add your furnace in as well. Smart folks like me don't wait for the first 80-degree day. We plan ahead. Book by May 25th and check it off your list at standard heating.com. Providing the comfort you deserves this 1930.