Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect - Dude Perfect Judges Epic Fan Sports Fails with NBA Announcer Noah Eagle

Episode Date: February 18, 2026

NBA All-Star Weekend takes center stage as the guys break down Cody’s big moment against Tacko Fall in the Celebrity Game and Sparky’s game winning shot in the Creator Cup. The Dudes give all the behind-the-scenes details of the weekend’s biggest moments, debate the new All-Star format, and rank their own DP Hoops performances. They then pivot into a deep dive on the Winter vs. Summer Olympics, which events qualify as “Almost Sports,” and building the ultimate Olympic Squad Games roster. Then Noah Eagle joins the pod to share his broadcasting journey before helping judge the craziest fan-submitted Almost Athlete fail videos yet, ranking each one 1–10 in a brutally honest showdown. You guys have been crushing it with all of the submissions! Let’s keep it up—if you’ve got a question, hot take, or your own Almost Athlete moment, head to AlmostAthletes.com or call [phone] to be featured on the show. Chapters:  00:00 Introduction  01:20 Creator Cup Review  06:00 Cody Jones’ NBA All Star Celebrity Game 15:00 24 Team College Football Playoff  19:00 Sparky’s Fan Obsession  21:55 Almost Sport: Is Sleeping A Sport Or Almost Sport  25:35 Sparky Bonding With Tyler’s Sons 29:05 Cody’s Radical Fashion  29:35 Winter Olympics  32:15 Voicemail #1: Pet Snake Or Pet Alligator  33:45 Voicemail #2: Summer Or Winter Olympics  37:30 Voicemail #3: Who Is America Sending To The Olympic Squad Games? 40:50 Voicemail #4: What Sport Is An Almost Sport? 48:10 Noah Eagle Introduction  55:55 Noah’s Favorite Sport To Call  58:55 NBA: Now Vs Then  01:11:30 Almost Athlete Fan Fails  01:31:15 Two Min Warning  What to do now: 1. Smash that LIKE button  2. Hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a DP podcast moment  3. Drop a comment with who YOU want to see on Almost Athletes next! Subscribe for more!    https://www.youtube.com/@almostathletes     • • • • Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is (almost) a sports podcast. Tune in weekly to hear the dudes’ hottest sports takes, great debates, interviews with your favorite athletes and entertainers, and hilarious BTS from all things Dude Perfect.  New episodes drop every Wednesday.  Follow along on all platforms.   Listen to the pod on your morning commute or wherever it finds you: Apple: - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/almost-athletes-with-dude-perfect/id1834502483 Spotify: - https://open.spotify.com/show/55gaQm31JIbp6td7QtYsPU?si=6423db3118ac497f Follow Almost Athletes to keep up with the Dudes!: https://www.instagram.com/almostathletes https://www.tiktok.com/@almostathletes https://x.com/almostathletes_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rollo to the basket. Lays it in, no problem. Maybe this is Rollo instead. Pass, pass, sprint. Oh, look out. That was a collision. Welcome to Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect, a wave original.

Follow the show on all social media at Almost Athletes. Like and subscribe to us on YouTube or listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast. We're your host. Garrett. Ty. Spark. Man, back again, dude. At this point, you're just a regular.

Thank you. You are a mainstay host. I think you've only missed one episode, maybe. I like to be here. I enjoy it. I enjoy having you boys. It's your comfort place. Yeah.

And yeah, we have our fingerprints written all over that. Me and Gare. Yeah. Believe me, if we didn't want you here, you wouldn't be here, right? I feel it. It's our call? It's our call. What do we got, Spark?

What do we got coming up? We got a loaded episode. Really fun interview with Noah Eagle, NBA announcer. Actually, he's done a lot of announcing, but that's going to be fun. We're going to get into some almost athlete's sport fail videos. with Noah. We're going to answer some burning voicemails. But first, we had a crazy weekend at the NBA All-Star Games, so let's talk about it,

boys. It was a, dude, fun weekend started Thursday night when you played in the Creator Cup. Yeah. I'm bummed I couldn't be there. I know. I say... I felt your presence. I said we play a couple highlights for the people watching. Yeah. Because you might have had a better performance

in Cody. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I want to act like that's a bold statement. I don't think he's I don't think it was I was thinking the same thing I was thinking well I would hope so I'm trying to keep people engaged here

Sure Sure it was a lot of fun The level of competition was It was better than this celebrity Oh it was for sure These guys were actually like Hoopers Hoopers

Like it was like when we went to The Champions League When Sony had us out And we played in that Soccer match over there And you're like Oh we're gonna go against Just retent

And you're like Who are these guys Yeah it turns into a sink or swim Situation very quickly But no dude Game winner Game winner. Manifest the game. I don't even know if you know this.

I was announcing your first game. Yes. You saw me back there? Yeah. Yeah. So I was with Jester and they were asking me. They were like, hey, how would you put like if Sparky was in the, you know, the five of y'all? So six of y'all, where would he be basketball-wise?

What do you think I said? Like, as far as skill? I would hope near the top. I said, I said you'd be right in the Smackdad middle. That's what I said. Wow. I feel a little disrespectful. Wow.

Here's my ranking. I can't wait to see. where this goes. This is going to cause some fire words. We're going to be revisiting this ranking in a future episode. So number one is going to shock you guys. It's going to shock you. Okay. But I put Kobe as number one. Here's why. I think you've lost me. Here's why. Here's why. Because he's an incredible shooter and he plays incredible div. He's a two-way player. And there's not a lot of two-way players that can be pluses and DP. Okay. Okay. Don't wait. I'm going to let you finish. Go ahead. Number two, I put Ty.

Really? Number three, I put Sparks. Good episode today, guys. Four, I put me. And then I just was like, who cares about the last two? You can interchange those guys how you want. And that's going to get them, you know, when Cody and Corey listen to this, they are going to come. They're going to be fired up.

But, okay, if you had to put some guy I want, where would you put yourself in the squad? Would you put yourself one? It's not my style to put myself one. See, it's not my style either. But I'd like to think so, given the fact that Kobe hasn't been able to guard me the last three weeks. Okay. That's a fair point. I've given them some buckets. What about you, Ty?

See, I would actually say Corey is a better shot creator than Kobe. Like, if Kobe's not open and has an open three point look, he's not a shot creator. He's not going to go take over on offense. That's why I have a hard time putting him at number one. Okay. That's fair. Twins are good players, though. They are.

They are. I think we're all across the board. Yeah. Very competent. I'd say back. I'm not going to say like, and it's so close. Like, you can interchange a guy number one to six. Oh, we can change by the week, by the day, by the shot.

I mean, when Cody is playing his best basketball, it's hard to be. He's, I think he's the best. But he has to make a layup when you're six, six against five, eight guys. And he rarely does that at the office. Sure. Yeah, you hold it against Cody, that he's got the natural God-given six-five for aim, you know. If he was just a regular six-footer, he would be up there because he shoots threes. He does the thing that guard play.

He likes to think he's a guard. He likes to do the guard things. But against us, he's a post. And he should be, and he should utilize that. Well, I appreciate the like reverse psychology there because, you know, we just got off the weekend here at L.A. And I was maybe going to hang up the shoes for a bit. You just incentivize me to keep going. That's good friend play.

Yeah, you got something to prove. That's a good friend play. You're not there. You got to get grind. Yeah, you got to get grind in. But you had a, you had yourself a game and you called the game winner. Go watch it on social. Literally like before the game.

Our social guy was like, what are you thinking? You're like, I'm going to hit the game winner. This game. And he did. And you did. Manifested it. Yeah, you came out with some energy. You were the most energized creator for sure.

dude. Oh yeah. People love... They were loving it. You put the Spark and Sparky. It's a tough ranking. It is. I think... You back to the ranking? I am. He's just stuck on it. He's just like, dude, I'm stuck. I think you and Spark are the best shooters in the office. I would put my basketball IQ against anybody's basketball IQ.

That doesn't get you athletically anywhere. It helps tremendously, though, just knowing where to be on the floor. But I know where to go on the court. Yeah. Now, I don't play a lot. Like, you all play so much more than me. So, like, you could argue that I'm six right now because I just don't. play as much as you guys. Y'all are out there grinding every single day. But I do like to have hot takes on this. And so when Corey and Cody blow my phone up at midnight, because I put him fifth and

six, it's going to be great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you stirred the pod. Yeah. See, that's what a podcast is for, though. You got to get the people. Yeah. So as we're talking about Cody being six, we go, let's go right into Cody's performance. Let's go into it. He was on a mission, a quest to get a double double, which we learned. We learned. We're this after the game, there's been only one double-double in any celebrity way. All-Star game. We did find that out. It happened against Cody.

Taco Fall, first double-double ever. And to take it one step further, 21 and 20. Yeah, it was a 20-20 game. When we decided to do a quest and say, Cody, get a double-double in an NBA all-star celebrity game, it was basically setting a Guinness World Record live for the people to see against an ex-MBA player, the tallest ever. Taco Fall 7.6. I think when we had the idea, it was like double-double Regis Philbin's going to be guarding, I'm sure.

You know, and quickly. For Regis. Is Regis alive? Regis is alive? Can I get a Regis? We might need to redo that. Yeah, we might need to redo that intro. For some reason, I thought Regis was no longer with us.

I think you're right, Ty. If he can't get a double-double against Regis, him being dead, that's tough. A Regis. A wreath of Franklin is what I meant to say. No, she's dead. Oh, is she? Dude. Oh, my God.

Can we get an Aretha chat? No, she's definitely Aretha? Like Olivia Rodriguez. Okay, Olivia Rodriguez. Yeah, that's what I meant. That's what we thought he was going to be playing against.

Instead, he got Taco Tuesday. And dude, he actually came out on a... On a mission. So he got the start and he came out on a mission. He had that three-pointer right off the bat. Yeah, right in our corner. Had a couple rebounds and you're like, dude, he is well on his way.

This is possible. And then I think Taco Fall, you know when like we played this Savannah bananas. Yeah. And Cody started talking trash. Yeah. It started feeling realistic that we could win this thing. And then Billy locked in.

Yeah. I think when Cody started doing a little shimmying against Taco. And Taco's like, I'm not letting this little, little guy beat me. And he turned it on. And so he finished with three points. Yeah. But he had seven boards? Five, I think.

No, it was over five. He'd probably tell you seven. He was set up to fail. Let's be honest, he drew, bottom line, he drew a, I'm not going to say impossible matchup, but a brutal matchup. It looked impossible.

And Taco played 90% of the game. Oh, he never, and he, but he actually tried. Oh, he played 90% of the game at 100% effort level. I don't think any, first of all,

none, I don't think one of us do that much better. I think I keep them from scoring. I would love to play defense against him. That was crazy. That, like, Cody's,

He's never had a shot blocked and a three-pointer and Taco jumps from basically the key and blocks that shot. Oh my. He's never experienced that. A good pump fake there. See, that's the basketball IQ where you get him jumping. Sure, but he's never had to pump that to your point.

He's never had to pump that. Call me crazy, I think I'd go for 20 in that game. I do. I think it's set up for guards more than bigs. Yeah, I mean, you can get your open three. If you get the right match up, like you get your open looks and just have a good shooting night. Cody, unfortunately, drew the guy.

who had a pair of aces in his hands. One year removed from the league. So do you think it's fair that NBA players playing the celebrity game? I think like the Jason Williams type once they're retired. Not one year removed. If they're still getting contracts, even overseas,

it feels a little. I mean, even Jeremy Lynn playing in the game is like, get Hakeem out there. Right. Yeah. You know, like get a Lange one out there. There's got to be more middle ground because you can't have the Bachelorette, you know, garden Jeremy Lynn.

I don't think NBA players should, Like, if you are two or three years removed, you should not be playing in the Celebrity All-Star game. Yeah, it's like AARP. You need to be almost like filing for-alajian. That's what I'm saying. Well, it would have been great. Yeah. Who wouldn't want to see that?

It will never happen because he just doesn't, I feel like he doesn't care about the NBA anymore. But like, how amazing would it be to get MJ out there? Oh. He wouldn't do that. He would never do that. He would never do that. He would never know outside. It would be cool.

would be so cool. It'd be probably more watched than the All-Star game. To get MJ to suit up, that would be sick. Now, if MJ signs up, let me go off for a double-double against MJ. Okay. Time me up. MJ and Byrd. Deal.

Speaking of MJ, did you see his driver won the Daytona 500? Steve was proud of him. Was Steve there the whole weekend with you guys? Yeah. I had a great time with Steve, man. He came out to support his son. Him and his mom and his brother. Chase was awesome.

Went to dinner with Chase after the game. What were the vibes like? You know, I think he was, he was proud of Cody. He was. For trying. Yeah. He was a really good brother. He was.

Absolutely. I don't know if it's ever going to see the light of day, but Chase cooked, cooked Cody on our basketball court for training. Like, it was, but she said it was the best he's ever played in his life. Yeah, I probably kind of drain some of Cody's confidence, I think. We've been mad-handled him. You think so? Maybe. Maybe we didn't go hard enough, though.

I do think if Cody This was all put together what Probably three weeks ago is when this all came about I think if Cody has the three month plan His dedication levels were great I'll give Cody his props on that Sparky dude you come up at midnight and grind People see it on your socials dude

You're doing You know your little I don't even know where you set your phone Half the time to film this stuff Yeah dude I'm an angle guy I'm an angle guy But you're getting angles that I've never seen before Shout out our production team It made me think about angles and B-roll

For the first time in my life All right well let's move on to the All-Star game What do you think of a new format? Yeah, being there firsthand, it was really cool. The effort level from the guys were off the charts, so that alone made it better than some of the All-Star games in the past. I don't know about the round-robin format. I still think where they're headed is in the right direction,

but I still think you could tweak it a little better. But all things considered, yeah, I wish that final game was a little more competitive, of course. But the three games before that were electric. Yeah, and the point I was making was they played too. It was cool to actually see them go out there. They wanted it and play.

Yeah, they were like Hacker Shacken. When he got that game winner knocked down on him. Yeah. He was upset. He was really mad. He was upset.

Brother, it's okay. You've got a bright future. That's competitive though, dude. You need that. Yeah. I thought the All-Star game was good. Like, the young players brought some energy.

It's kind of crazy. Like, the error that we grew up in with like Steph, LeBron. They're on their last leg. KD. They're about to all. They're the old heads now. Chris Paul just retired.

We'll say LeBron's. hairline makes me feel a little better. Yeah, man, he's lost a law in the back. He's a high profile guy and up close and personal. I was like, okay, man, if he's willing to have the sunroof open, then we can take the top off every month. Maybe you wouldn't he go to Turkey together, dude. That'd be cool video, wouldn't it? Comment below if you want to see me go with LeBron to Turkey.

We bond, man. He loves me. He just doesn't know it yet. But there it is right there. Yeah. A little H transplant. I'm going to hold you to that, dude. Yeah.

I really would love to do that outdoor video. I don't care what it lands on. I mean, there's stuff we could do in Turkey. and then SideQuest hair transplant. Yeah. Y'all celebrated Valentine's Day in L.A. Yeah, it took Cody and Allie to the beach. I celebrated it 33,000 feet in the air.

So, yeah, we weather delayed us. Got on the plane at 6 a.m., landed at 5 p.m. I think the production team even got it worse, some of those guys who were going out mid-afternoon. It was tough. But yeah, me and the dude, we had a nice little, you know, we shared a Coke Zero together. You did?

Yeah, he was great, man. We shared phone plug. and everything. Nice. It's a good bonding session between me and the guy. How was B-Day overall? Yeah, mine was great,

dude, once I got home, cooked some steaks, uh, the kiddos made some chocolate moose out of, out of avocados. Yeah. No sugar in it.

Hmm. Uh, how do you get the chocolate? Uh, the cacao, how do you say it? Cacao powder. This is a good mind. Into the avocados.

Yeah. Yeah. You're speaking French. That's like TB12 type stuff. It was TV12. Tom would be. very impressed, dude. Tom, I finished it off with two cookie societies. You know,

how to get actual sugar, dude. Not for the kids, but just for you. Yeah, well, you know, dude, I have a really bad, I have a bad habit of, like, sitting in my house at like 8 p.m. and be like, dude, I really need cookie society. Who doesn't, though? And I had door dash four of them. I don't know why. I could just door dash one. I was in the last night. I end up eating all four by the next morning. So. Those are the toughest hours for me.

I went into a pantry, 11 p.m. It's so easy to let your. guard down then. Chewy chips a hoi in the pantry and I was like, you pounded them. No, I didn't. I showed restraint, went to the fridge, pickled okra, four of them. Pounded four pickled okras. Yeah, I should have gone with the cookie. Yeah, that sounds horrible, dude. No wonder you're in a bad mood today. I'm not in a bad mood. You're a little edgy. A little edgy, I wouldn't say bad mood. I mean, pickled okra would put anybody in a tough spot. Dude, I wanted the chewy Chewie Chips-a-hoi, but I'm trying to be better. The old sneaks to the pantry, Milano's.

I love Milano. Yeah. Yeah. Well, should we talk about the big news in college football? What's that? That we're trying to get a 2014 playoff. That is a lot of teams. That is a lot of teams. And so they had a document circulating what it would be like this last year. Had A&M number seven.

Still think that's a disgrace of a, I still don't understand how tech and Oregon are above us, but it's fine. I love this, though. I do like the 24 team. I just don't know what it does to the state of college football. like Kurt, Kurt, Herbstree's like basically blow up college football. Did you see this? Where he wants to create the 60 team super conference? Yeah, well, that's where we're headed is, the 60 team super conference.

I know, but that just ruins. It's going to be like telling your kids, well, you know, guys, we had these things called VHSs, you know, back in the day. It's like we had this great format in college football and then now it's just a money pit. I feel like you're just turning this into March madness. You have your upsets, but generally, you. basketball is easier to upset. You're not losing. I feel like football, you are really risking your best teams not making it to the final four.

If you go to this big of an expansion, where you've got to win that many games. The top eight get buys in here. So I think they get, I think the top four get, is it just one buy still? Yeah, it is just one buy. Yeah, because Indiana is playing a USC Arizona, which is not a guaranteed win, to your point. Sure. Like those teams, you know, you have one off game. You're like, you can be in trouble.

Here would be my counter argument. One, I feel like college football, the state of college football is already in shambles. So it's like, how could we already make it worse than what it is? Two, I think it's a great way to determine the actual national champion. Three, I love the fact that the second round now would be hosted. I feel bad for the teams that have been the four, you know, the buys and they don't get to host. Every game except the national championship should be hosted at college.

Every game. Yes. They're depriving fan bases of what would be an electric atmosphere. That's what I think NIT does well. I think women's college basketball does well in the March. Like they have them at home. On campus. They reward the schools.

They reward the schools. I think March Madness should go, but it's a lot of travel for the kids. So I get it. So what is the 23 plus one? What's the plus one? Like how does that get selected? Yes. Oh, the one group.

And that's just voted by a board or what? Oh, yeah. It would be the best. The highest ranked champion. There's a lot of subjectivity to that because again, UNT this year. They have a little perturban on that list, though it obviously is a hypothetical and doesn't matter. But JMU made it, so they had Tulane and JMU. So I guess it would be one guaranteed and with the chance at large is.

Another counter argument would be, yes, we're kind of NFLing this, but now the FBS level, dude, we're up to 137 schools. You know, it's not the NFL where there's 30 teams. I think you need a bigger playoff bracket just based off how many teams there are. Yeah, but how many teams are actually capable of hanging in this group? I think this, like 24. I mean, NFL, you've got, what, four teams a year that's just like, okay, beginning of the season, no chance. Sure.

But college football, you're talking about 50 teams that have no shot realistically putting up any kind of performance against schools of this caliber. Fair. But you could make an argument, a program like Michigan at 18. they catch a heater, they could make a run, you know? For sure. And it keeps your Texas fans, you know, at a 24-team playoff, you can't say, hey, we got left out. No, you can't. You know, it's unfair.

At that point in the game, there's none of that. There will be, but it's going to be way less of like an argument. Smaller fan bases with a less loud voice. I felt like that was a shot. No, it wasn't a shot. That was a fact. I can't show you all something? Yeah.

I just wanted to show the people because I'm proud of it. I brought something. What did you bring? I'm proud of her. It's my child. This is Wendy. I just wanted to show my travel fan. People know.

New travel fan? Yeah, look at this thing. Oh, that's that Instagram one. It's a, yeah. It's a three-speeter. I spent ridiculous money on this. Only like 50 bucks, but. Wow.

That can go in a carry-on. It's a three-speed, exactly. With the extend-o neck. Oh, dude. You can put that on the floor if you needed to. This is Wendy. Hey, can I, does it. Is it blowing?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, he does it. it blowing let me go up to oh that is level three so that's the problem is on like a jet engine at home yeah it's not enough for you i think it's kind of well known at least amongst the boys that i've slept in with a fan in my face since uh my rookie season in 91 yeah yeah i've never changed and it started with rotunda my first three speed she was a jet engine what happened to rotunda did she eventually just pass away i don't talk about she's no longer with this tie okay okay

this is windy we're talking about windy no no i know i know i do i'm proud of windy she's disobedient at times. Go sit down. Is that a play on Wendy? Yeah, it's like wind, you know, but it's actually a name, Wendy. Okay. We'll get to her later. She's being disobedient. Sit and time out. I mean, yeah, I sleep with a fan in my face every night and so that's the first thing I pack on every trip. I mean, there's been many a trips that we've been on with Spark where we're headed to the hotel and then it's panic hits and we're in the car and he's like, dude, I don't have a fan. I got to stop at Walmart. I got to stop somewhere. That's happened at least two or three times,

which it should never happen. Yeah. Now, how is this going to incorporate? create into Spark in the dark. I mean, I feel like this is something we kind of need to. Contest it number one. Yeah. I mean, I can just tell you right now, if there is an eligible bachelorette who is thinking about, hey, I think, you know, me and Spark would make a pretty good pair. If you are not okay with having a fan on at night, that's a deal killer. Yeah. It's done. Just move on. I mean, you could be 100% everywhere else compatibility rating, and it's just not going to work. You're exactly right, Ty. Thank you for saying it for me. That, and I don't like the night. I don't like lights. on.

I don't think a lot of people like lights on when they sleep. I think you're safer there. Sure. My wife personally does not like a fan on at night because she thinks it dries her nose out or something.

I'm a big fan guy. And so there's times when I can get away with turning the fan on. But I've had to really kind of change my stance. Is it a noise thing? Is it a noise thing?

Like a sensory thing? Oh, it's both. It's both. People are like, oh, it's just a white noise thing. Like, no, no, no. It's an airflow thing too. It's the combo of the two. because you're a hot sleeper, what about getting a cooling mattress if you tried that?

I could be... It feels like that's out of my budget. Oh, it's definitely out of your budget. It's out of your budget, but we can maybe get a sponsor for it. Maybe I can get heated tiles in my bathroom too. Careful. That's... What's talking about it?

Didn't you? No, I didn't. I didn't. We'll see if HR can throw in a little cooling mattress on your next bonus. You got to hit the bonus, obviously. Sure. Yeah. If you do.

Hey, that's a way to incentivize me, though. Speaking of sleeping. Almost sport this week. competitive sleeping. I'd be horrible at this. I wouldn't be good at this. We found an insane almost sport. We got a voicemail about the same topic.

Let's hear the voicemail. Hi, dudes. My name is Levi. And my question is, is sleeping a sport or an almost sport? If it is a sport, I would consider myself a professional. All right, Levi, here's the only thing that you got working for you. There is a sport in the Olympics called the luge. And I think it's just as competitive as sleeping, in my opinion.

I mean, the double luge is just the weirdest. It is odd. Yeah. I've been wondering. And how do you determine who's on top or bottom? Anyways, my thing is, I think it might be an almost more. I think we'd be good at the double luge tie. Yeah.

But I just couldn't bring it up to you. I couldn't be like, hey, do you want to double luge with me? It's a tough combo to open up with somebody just because you don't know how to start that conversation. You've got to be really tight with somebody. And it had to come about by somebody who just missed the luge team and was like, well, maybe there should be a double luge and then you get two more spots in there. I'm guessing that's how it was invented. I'm not sure. I don't think it's a sport. I don't think it's an almost sport.

Competitive sleeping or luge? Well, you could make an argument for both. Okay. You could make an argument for both. Okay. I was speaking about sleeping. Okay. Let's watch the video before we are definitive answers here. Okay. Okay. So they're in a, they're in a couch with, with, outside. Oh, we indoors. How do you do? The rules are simple. You must remain asleep for as long as possible, and the last one to wake up wins. What if you're really good at faking being asleep? That's what I'm saying. How do you determine if somebody's actually asleep just by looking at them? With an eyemass too. How do you? It's got to be heart rate. They got to judge it off heart rate. But they don't know. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. I know that your heart rate drops when you sleep. It's called a resting heart rate for a reason. And, uh...

The twins would, this might be where they should focus. I'd be horrible. I would be too. I wake up when like somebody like breeze next to me. I get baby bladder issues too. I'm usually up at least once a night to use the restroom. Isn't the fan kind of an advantage? Are you allowed to use like sleeping?

There's no fans. That feels like 98 baseball, you know, Bonds and McGuire. Okay. Obviously which dude would be best at this? It's the twins, right? I don't know. Cody. Cody goes to hibernation.

every once in a while. We like are on like a on a van driving for 10 hours and they're like on the floor of the van. Yeah. Which I get very envious of. You have that ability to gear where like mid-conversation on a plane. I look over and you're asleep. I'm like, I wish I could do that.

I'm a five-minute guy. You give me five minutes and it's like life-giving. Which is just wild. You think your wife would be better at this time? No. No, she's the lightest sleeper of all time. She's even lighter. Yeah.

And I've gotten to be a bad sleeper, I feel like, as I get older. It's age, man. Testosterone. I feel like I'm awake every 15 minutes at night. Same. It's getting worse, too. I'm concerned about myself. I'm the type of guy who stacks like five consecutive horrible nights of sleep and then one,

like slumber. That's where I'm at right now in my sleep life. Hey, let me help you out, Sparks. This is just me to you. Let's put the PlayStation up, okay? And before 1 a.m. Let's try it. No screen.

Maybe read a book. It should make them more tired. With the PlayStation. It needs company too, you know. I'm trying to be a good father. I'm trying to be a good father. You got a father to your PlayStation and you're dating your fan Wendy. It's a weird.

I've got to come clean. Why? That father thing. Your boys. We bonded on that trip. We definitely did. But there was one moment that you didn't even realize that happened. Oh, no.

Poor Bethany was grabbing personal pan pizzas. Her hands were full and the boys needed to use the restroom. And I could tell. I was like, Beth, I got it. I got it. I got it. Don't worry. I'll take him to the bathroom.

your youngest, I don't think he hit the urinal. He sprayed himself. And it's one of those things, he's not my kid. Sprayed himself. Oh, dude, it was just. Retman was just fire hosing. Yes, just flying around. I think I even got hit.

Two urnals down. Yeah. I didn't tell Beth, you know. And we were trying to wash hands, and your oldest bear, it was already out the door. And so your youngest just kind of plied water. And it was like, that's good, buddy. And we went back to the seat, and I never told Bethany. Yeah, the Tony boys in their bathroom habits, like,

I think urine is sterile, though. I think it's fine. I mean, dude, you don't even wash hands, dude. You don't use soap. Yeah, I also don't pee all over myself. That's true. Oh, dude. Look, man, like, you can't pick and choose here.

You're either using soap or you're not. Yeah. And, you know, just because you get a little urine on the hands, you're just going to automatically be a soap guy. Yeah, I think I would. Don't be hypocritical, man. You're either end or you're out. Okay.

And you're a non-soap guy. Okay. All right. Next time you get a little, you know, a little splash back. A little splash, it's fine. Just wiping on the jeans, move on. Yeah. If nothing else, it was a bonding experience for us.

But I did have somebody come up to me the other day. I took a picture with a kid somewhere and somebody came out and asked, what do you do? And I told him I was the world's largest manufacturer of urinal cakes. They were really confused, obviously. Dude, perfect urinal cakes. Yeah, I was saying. Dude, target is target practice. Yeah.

My kids need it too. Maybe that should be a next competitive sport. Can you hit the water? Maybe our next rant is I feel like toilet seats are getting hit at a remarkable. Do you all agree? It's like any bathroom you walk into, including your own. And I'm like, I don't even remember hitting the seat. It's so true, dude.

I do have a bad habit of not pulling up the seat. It's so true. Yeah, but I just don't miss like that. I mean, it's crazy. You walk into some of these places and you're like, how did this happen? Was there an earthquake midstream? Like, what? I don't understand.

Yeah. Have you noticed it worsening over the years? Like, is this a part of culture? I got to say, guys, I've lied to the people. Urine is not sterile. Okay. Okay. I thought it was.

Maybe that's dog urine. Look at dog urine. Is dog urine sterile? I don't know where you're getting your urine facts, but I don't know that you're going to the correct source. Say dog urine, dude. Just type in dog urine, bro. No, no. Even healthy dogs.

Yeah. It's not. Well, it will build immunity. Worst case. One way to look at it. Oh, one more thing. I actually remembered. Before we moved to the Olympics?

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Because I bonded with Allison, too. It was a lot of fun hanging out with them. Allison, she said she had an elementary school teacher that was looking out for me. And I wanted to, I didn't tell her. I got too scared in the moment. I turned it down.

But Allison, give me more info on her. There might be an op there. What? I just remembered Allison. She's trying to hook me up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got too scared in the moment and I turned it down.

But I want to know more. Thank you, Allison, for looking out for me. you're coming clean and saying that you want to know more. Yeah, I'd like to know a little more. Allison is one of our most loyal listeners, so she'll hear it. She will. She's a loyal wife, too, putting up with codes, man. He's tough.

Yeah. I actually thought about that. I mean, that dude brought 15 pairs of shoes, bought another pair of shoes while he was there. And then wore one pair of shoes the whole time. And then the outfits he had were radical over the all-star break. They were loud. But he was feeling himself. He was confident Cody.

And I let him go. You didn't like it, Ty, did you? I just thought he's putting way too much effort into the outfit and not enough into the game. I mean, a little bit of hustle goes a long way and maybe one less pair of shoes, you'd be able to have that. I don't know. Maybe not the ninja headband. Yeah. Leg sleeve.

Yeah. Man, to think Steve went all that way and missed the Daytona 500 to watch that. Brutal. Should we talk about the Olympics? I feel bad. We already talked about the Luge and bash that. Anything else you want to bash about the Olympics? I didn't bash the double luge.

I just wondering how you get to that point. Oh, I told you. Somebody got cut from the single Luge and they're like, well, we should do a double luge. Would you? No. Me and you? Maybe. Let's just talk about hockey because that's really...

It's my favorite part of the win. And we just wrapped up group stage. USA got the second seed. Canada, number one seed. Not shocking. No, it's not shocking at all. So they can't meet till the gold medal match? Well, I'm just hoping that, you know, Finland or somebody just can, as they play Canada, get the...

Wear them down? Well, just win. Just beat them. It's knockout stage now. This afternoon, big game goes down. Go USA. say, do you guys think hockey fighting should be allowed in the Olympics? Yes.

It's a part of the sport. Didn't it happen? I know you're not supposed to, but I think somebody might have dropped gloves? Yeah. Yeah, the Wilson guy, right? Yeah, Wilson. Wilson ejected. Yeah, I don't get that.

What other sport do you just completely change the nature of the game for the Olympics? Fair? That's what makes hockey the greatest sport in the world. You still, I mean, if you're going to fight somebody, you're going to pay your time in the box. Yeah, you have a five minute. Yeah, I mean. That's part of the game. And then the other big thing that happened was Lindsay Vaugh.

I respected that, dude. Yeah, she got airlifted twice in nine days. That's something I never want to accomplish. She goes back out and then she snaps her leg. I obviously don't like that she was injured. I love her mentality. The grid is. You know, she knew the wrist going back out there and was like, yeah, I'm going to go try it.

Double down. I mean, that is. That's bold fighting stuff, dude. That is like. That's courage. That's hard. That's tenacity. I respect the heck out of that.

And so would Dale Brisby. He would. And that boy's cowboy. Yep. She's cowboy. That is. That is cowboy for sure, dude. At 41, too.

And I think she might go, she's crazy enough to try another Olympics. Call me crazy. Well, I mean, when you're getting two care flights in nine days, you're pretty, you're almost out of her leg amputated. And it's like, yeah, I'll go back out there. I love it. She's crazy. That's a perfect segue into our voicemail segment.

Brought to you by DoorDash. When Life gets crazy. Doordash helps bring a little order to it. So do care flights. We've ordered to it. We got a lot of voicemails about the Olympics, but we're going to start with a question about family pets. We've already talked about both of these things.

Since we love being a show you can watch as a family, we would love to settle your family arguments, answer your parenting questions, or hear your family's hot takes. Send us a voicemail, 972, 805-8866, or you can also find the number at almostathletes.com. Let's check it out. know, bears, would you prefer a pet snake or a pet alligator?

Pet snake or pet alligator, which would be a better pet? Great question. You know, I think it's a bit determined on the size of the gator. I prefer to have pets in my house that can't kill me. Both can. No, no, that's where you're wrong. A non-venomous snake of smaller size, you'd had to really do something wrong. Alligators and the death rolls and the strongest bite force per any animal on earth. I believe it's 2,000 pounds per square inch of bite force from an alligator. You can check me on that. Elite levels of B force.

I'm sure there you're in sterile, though. I'm going to go Pet Snake, which I've had before, Wildcaught Pet Snake, was a venomous one. got out, got loose in my house. Thankfully, I was able to recapture that and get them back in the cage before mom found out. But yeah, I'm going to go non-venomous pet snake over a gator for sure. Okay. Thank you for the question. You would absolutely trust Rettman with the snake.

I wouldn't trust him with a gator. Okay. Well, that answers the question. Next, next voicemail. Hi, I'm Heather from Colorado. and I'm watching the opening ceremony for the Olympics right now. And I was just wondering if you guys had to pick summer or winter Olympics, which one would you choose?

My husband and I have been talking about it all day, which one we like more? And then which is your favorite sport in the Olympics? This is a pretty easy question. Yeah. I think this is our Texas heritage speaks into this. It's hard to relate to the winner. Let's just talk about winter.

You got curling. Fun. Okay, which... Fun to play, not as so much to watch. I mean, every time you turn on the Olympics right now, it's curling. Double-oo. You got the luge, double-lose. Single and double.

Then you got hockey. Bob sled. Figure skating, which I think is probably one of the more entertaining parts of Winter Olympics. It's like their gymnastics. I don't know how to judge it. Oh, it's gymnastics. Sure.

Yeah, yeah. It's their version of gymnastics. Speed skating. I like the fly one. I think the speed skating is up there. The ski long jump looks like a... Red Bull video. But see, here's the deal.

I think it's hard because a lot of these Winter Olympics are judged subjectively. If you hit a twirl or triple lux or whatever they call it, like the Americans getting, I feel pretty robbed from the other, that one French judge who put France over, it's just subject. It's not like you're winning a race. Like it's like, oh, he clearly won. He gets it. You know?

Right. They won a volleyball match. They win. Like, it's all subjective to me. like the ski jump you just said like is that distance based or is that like in the air base like I don't know

Mo so to me it's summer I think summer just has more like You don't like the half pipe or like any of the I think the half pipe's cool but again subjective How do you win a half pipe Land the most moves

That it's just a subjective thing to be like It's like certain moves have point sets I but like they're so close Like Chloe Kim and that girl from South Korea. It'd be fair. Yeah, floor routine. It is. It is.

But like on gymnastics, you got the bars where it's like you got to get through the bars. Yeah. I feel like you'd be great at uneven bars. Yeah, my sister was a state gym. It's in my blood. Was she? Yeah. Oh, I got to get the video of my sister's almost athlete.

Yeah, we need a. Please. Oh, it's the best one we've seen. Okay. It's on YouTube somewhere. I got to find it. Uneven Bar crash. But I think summer just takes more athletic, like athletic a bit like sports wise.

You're going to make some people mad with that. I'm a summer guy. I'm a summer guy through and through. And again, it's because of the Texas heritage. I can't relate to like moles and stuff because I've been skiing twice, man. You know what I mean? It's just, it's hard. I respect them.

I respect what it takes and the grind it takes to be an Olympic athlete. But I personally prefer. What Lindsay Vaughn does, no one really understand. I mean, going like 90 miles an hour down a mountain is truly insane. Takes different level of athlete and courage. It's not only athlete. you're a, you're like, have a little like, nitro circus in you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you're like, you kind of want to, you're flirting with death. Right. Which is, some serious stuff. Like the skeleton,

you crass on a skeleton, like, you're done. Right. So, yeah, like winter has more like, you could die

doing the types of things they do. Like, I mean, you have pipe, you fall on your neck wrong. Like, your life's over. So it's definitely more risk reward and winter.

But I just think summer. has more enjoyable. It's a phenomenal question. I think it's geographically dependent. Comment below what you think, winter, summer, and why? I'll tell you what. When USA beats Canada and hockey, they're going to say summer. And they're going to play that anthem, boo it. I dare you. Oh, Canada is beautiful song. It is.

Next question. That was a great one. What I do, perfect, big fan of the podcast. I have a question for you today. If squad games became an Olympic event or each country from around the world is sending their best five all-around athletes to compete in a playoff style five to seven game series to declare what country produces the best all-around athletes in the world. One, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that. And two, who are we as America sending to these games?

And is Tyler Tony making that list. Yeah. Wow. This is a brilliant question. There's a lot to dive in. And honestly, this is how war should be won. Yeah. Squad game style.

It's all based on, you send your best five. We're not competing to the death. Don't worry. Sure. This is an athlete competition. It's just the best to seven athlete competition. And you weed the, you weed the nations out. And if England wins, then they get, you know, they get their land back.

Well, see England winning. Yeah, they blew a 13 colony lead. Yeah, they did blow a 13 colony lead. But if we had to pick the five athletes, who are we going with? That's a great question. It's a phenomenal question. I know there's several, like, NFL guys, like an athlete. Adam Thielen, who was a five-sport kind of athlete in high school and elite at those,

I'd start looking at that. Then you consider your LeBron's. You're just freak of nature athletes. Yeah, I just don't think any other country can, I'm going a little bit backwards here, but I just think the variety of sports in the U.S. is so much greater and it has so much more participation across the board, which lends itself to the squad games competition style. they're like obviously we're going to get waxed in soccer

and maybe a few other specialty sports but if you're sticking with the big five big seven I think USA walks away with it. But you say that, you say the soccer thing but remember if like you're England and you're like we're going to throw soccer and you're trying to put guys up that can do other things. Right.

They're not all going to be soccer players and like... You're going to get back door badminton. You get those soccer guys trying to play basketball and we've seen how that goes. Yeah, I think we're definitely privy to be the best at that. Now, I'm not sitting in like Tony Stewart with all due respect. Yeah. But I'd like to think that the top five Americans are going to be pretty lethal.

Yeah. And you're part of those top five Thai. Neathal meaning like good athletic. Yeah. I think the Americans win that competition. But is Thai a part of the squad? I think so. Why not?

I don't think so. Why not? You are all around pretty good at a lot of things. And you're an American too. You're proud of it. I am very proud of it. And I would hustle my heart out. Exactly.

But there's just there's better, there's better athletes out there. I don't know, man. All around, tough to beat. There's better. I mean, I mean, I saw Keenan Allen. I mean, I'd just say what you want. That guy's a better athlete than me. Football, basketball, he's in better shape.

He's younger, I think, maybe by a little bit. But there's just, there's another level. There's levels to this. There is, but you're so well-rounded. Like, you know, the old-drichs? Is Broomball one of the competitions? What a ski shooting is one of the competitions? Then I'm in.

I'm in. Give it to me. and Allen, you know? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Unless rock paper scissors is in it. I don't want any part of it. Yeah.

You're a tired of that. You are a liability. That's a great question, though. I love that question. It's good one. On fire today. Next question. Hey, what's up, dudes?

My name is Daniel from Iowa. And with the upcoming winner Olympics, I was thinking, what sport in both of the Olympics do you think is closest to being an almost sport? For me in the Summer Olympics, it definitely has to be rhythmic gymnastics. If you don't know what that is, that is definitely an almost sport. And for the Winter Olympics, it's kind of controversial. It was hard to choose, but I got to be honest, it might be curling. I mean, to me, that's the closest to being an almost sport out of the Winter Olympics.

Let me know what you guys think. I wholeheartedly agree with you, Danny Boy. I mean, and I'll be honest, I get confused with the luge, the skeleton, the double luge, the bobsled. It's all the same game. You're just making up things at this point. You run fast and jump on a little thing and it goes down ice. Curling is right up there with those to me. I'm sure I'll take some flack for that.

But in my opinion, those are almost sports. Is it fair to say that if curling is in the winter Olympics, why is bowling, not in the summer Olympics? Isn't that the equivalent? I think bowling's more of a sport than curling. A point? I think they just ran out of events in the Winter Olympics and they're just throwing stuff at the wall.

Yeah, the rhythmic gymnastics though. I kind of forgot. Is that the one in the pool or is that like... No, that's the ribbons and the toss the ball up. Oh, so that wasn't the Australian breakdancer? That was wild. That's just breakdancing because that one's up the list for sure. That was just break dancing.

And again, it's breakdancing. It's not a sport. It's not even an almost sport. It's dancing. Take me and Graham to L.A. In 2028, me and Graham could win it. Fencing? is...

I don't even know what fencing is. That's the sword fighting. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's actually phenomenal at fencing. I don't know how. Yeah. It's actually remarkable. He's a great fencer.

I think, yeah, there's more sport to fencing than there is the other ones. Rhythmic gymnastics? Yeah. Maybe I can find my way to the Olympics. That would be your... That would be your Olympic event. No, fencing. Oh, got it.

There'd be a cool quest video to do one of these one-off events and see if you can go qualify. Fencing is all about reaction. You said, boom. is just, it's a, it's reaction time. Yeah. It's a hand-eye reaction. That's it. Do you guys know that Tugawar was actually an official Olympic sport?

That doesn't surprise me. More of us. That's, I get that. Yeah. That takes athleticism. 1920. I don't want to offend people because we're going to get a lot of emails about how what we do is non-athletic.

Look, I get it. That's why we're called almost athletes. That is a good point, Ty. That, you know, we self-deprecate humor. or so, uh, we're almost Olympians, some would say. Yeah. Though I think the five dudes plus myself, if we had the time, synchronized swimming, I think we could do a killer routine.

Yeah. That's where that person almost drowned, though, dude. That lady had to go in it. Well, yeah, you got to commit. You got to commit to the synchronize. Pistol dueling. Yeah, what a just class. That lasted two years.

They're like, yeah, I'll probably do away with that. Motorboat racing. That's a Jones thing. Wow. Again, that's not, you're using a boat. Yeah. Oh, table tennis. That actually, that's a good one.

What's trampoline? See, I think that's pretty athletic. That's a lot of body control. My mind is just, it's racing right now. I don't know. I think I might go up to Colorado and train for some summer Olympics, dude. I might try to make the games. Yeah, if we get a triple luge before we get bowling, I think I might.

A T-Luge would be crazy. How many can you get on? How many can you stack loosing to get down that balance? I mean, you should get a bonus time off for every person that you put on there. 10 seconds off? Yeah. For every man you add to the Looge. Try to do the old 8 stack?

Yeah. That's like the kind of game plan I take when it comes to grocery bags. I promise you there's nobody who can out grocery sack me. I've gone up to 70 bags at one time. I've never met a grocery trip. With a 24 pack. I could not do a one trip in. Guys, I think we have a sport that might be the next Olympic.

Yeah. Grocer bag carry. Grocer bag carry. One trip. The one triple. I could throw up 50. You know, it's dependent. Like, how many gallons of milk are, you know?

24 pack of waters are tough. I do. But I get creative ways to carry things you've never even thought of. Between my legs, 24 pack of water, body armor. You've never seen something like it. I hang stuff on my ears. Keys in my teeth to fob the door. Do it.

Using my head. All right. All right. Yeah. You guys are. Dude, you remember when your mom would roll home as a kid and it was like, you drop everything in that moment to go help bring groceries in. I also remember when you treat elders with respect and say,

yes ma'am and yes sir. And hold the door open. Yeah. Kids these days are saying cooked and fire and bruh. Squibbly do or whatever they're saying. I'm not going to say names, but do you think Jackson's helping bringing the groceries in? No. And if he is, he's got like an OJ and a box of oatmeal.

He couldn't even bench pressed four gallons of milk. So that tells you everything. He's limited on how much you can bring in. What do you think? Should we do a grocery carry competition? I personally, Jared, am not going to partake in the grocery carry challenge because I don't want to get exposed. You know, I, look, I like to take multiple trips out to the car. You do.

You kind of use it as like a, you're a, you time. Yeah, it's a you time thing. It's like, you know, when you're buying, when you're buying six packs of spin drifts, non-spawned, by the way, and it'll sponsor us, great sparkling water. Just take some time. You can't carry it all. Or you just stack it on one forearm. See, I've tried and I've dropped it against your body.

And they all spewed everywhere. I feel like a warrior, though, when I walk in and the lines are on. because there's so much weight. Yeah. You're like, I'm, I'm Kim. But if you guys want to have it, I'll do it. I'm willing to judge it. I'll do it.

You know, I am the guy that is training for the hot dog and 100 yard dash, you know. It's a great segment, segue into our next segment. We were up in San Francisco a few weeks ago and had a pleasure of sitting down with NFL and NBA play-by-play announcer Noah Eagle. It was a good conversation. Let's check it out. We have been traveling a lot lately, Sparky, first San Francisco for the Super Bowl, and then Los Angeles for the NBA All-Star game.

And there is nothing worse than coming home to an empty fridge after a long trip. I'm with you, G, that's why as soon as I get in the car to head home, I get on DoorDash to order dinner, groceries, and everything else that I need that I don't have time to go by. We've talked a lot about this, but you really can get anything at DoorDash. Corey ordered sand for its kid's sandbox, and he also probably ordered a hose to clean them up when they got out of it. It really is the ultimate hack for a busy life. And that goes double when you're a busy parent. Need a last minute school supply for the kids.

Door dash it. Forget to put deodorant on. Door dash it. Need new basketball shoes because you hit a game winner at the Creator Cup on All-Star weekend. DoorDash them. That's pretty specific for you. And why do you need new basketball shoes? Because I'm having the ones I wore in the game bronzed.

Whether you're hitting game winners like Sparky or you need to buy games to entertain your kids like me, DoorDash is there for you. We all know life gets crazy. DoorDash just helps bring a little order to it. Our guest is my kind of guy. He's one of broadcasting's best. followed his father, Ion's footsteps, working with the likes of NBC, CBS, Fox Sports, Yes, Network,

the tennis channel, the NFL, the NBA, Nickelodeon, Netflix, and the Olympic Games, and I'm sure I'm missing some. Please welcome to the show, broadcast royalty. Noah Eagle! Yeah, baby. Thank you. How's it going, brother?

Great. I really hope you're not missing one because that was way too long a list. Did I? Did I? Anything in there? I think you nailed it. I think you nailed it. And if you were missing one, then I apologize.

Well, Noah, appreciate you joining us, too. Did you grow up around sports your entire life? Obviously, your dad did the broadcasting route. Did you know early on? I'm sure you were a sports guy and participated in them as well. Did you know kind of the writing was on the wall at an early age? Like, I'm probably not going professional in anything.

Maybe I should think about the broadcast career. Yeah, I mean, I walked in the studio. You guys could see my stature is not one that's formidable necessarily when I walk into room. So I think that definitely stood out at a very young age. But for me, I think I was always a confident kid, like all of us were. I think if you're into sports, you feel like there's that dream of, no, no, I'm going to be a star at whatever. And for me, it was the NBA. I loved basketball.

I was the best kid in my town up until I was probably 14. And that was because my town was one square mile. I was amazing. Like, I was the only kid that could dribble with the left hand. It was like if they put Kyrie against Bob Coosie. It was unbelievable. But eventually you get moved up and I go to a region. school and I'm still good on the team and everything like that and I start playing

AAU and I was from New Jersey and so we start playing in that tri-state area and I'm like oh no this is this is going to be rough for me I was 13 years old and my dad didn't get to come to that many games just he was on the road a lot sure and we played against this team from Irvington New Jersey and there was a guy on the team named Isaiah Briscoe who eventually went to Kentucky and played in the NBA for a couple years plays overseas I think still and at 13 years old, I remember there was a turnover and I'm running back defensively and there was a lob and Isaiah Briscoe at 13, Ali, upped on me. And that was probably the moment where I was like,

yeah, I'm really good at talking guys. I should just do words for a living. I don't think that they're running around and trying to defend guys that are going to be dunking on me at this age is good. So probably about 13 years old was when I pivoted. 13 years old, you realized he had the oob dunks, not in my repertoire. Well, I think it was a combo too because then I went Bob Hurley, the legendary high school coach in New Jersey would always hold a camp in the Poconos. And I went there when I was about 15. I was a freshman in high school.

And I remember every day, Hurley, I guess, was a huge Seinfeld fan. And so every single day after lunch, he would do Seinfeld trivia for the entire camp. And I was the only kid who knew every answer. And I was like, this is a good sign for me. I should probably just do something with this that I can use that.

If only the ticket to the NBA was, you know, in Sign FINDEN, and you'd be like a max contract. Yeah, I'd be walking in, it's not a pick. It's not a pick. Syracuse guy. I'm known for their broadcasting school. Is it the new house?

You nailed it. I went to North Texas. We call it Syracuse of the South. Radio television, film majors, was a really good school for it. But got to ask you, Hughes basketball, obviously probably a huge fan.

Who's your favorite Orngeman of all time? Ever? Man, that's a challenge. I would say GMAC is up there. To the point that I remember, I was so jealous. This was right after his college career ended, and I went to a basketball camp

kind of nearby, probably town over. And some kid had a Bakersfield jam, D-League at the time, Jerry McNamara jersey. And I was like, dude, where'd you get that? I was like ready to buy it off his back at nine years old or whatever I was. But GMAX's up there for sure. When I was there, my freshman year was the last final four that they went to in 2016. And Michael Benadier was there.

I love Michael Benadier. I thought he was an absolutely elite orange. Tias Battle is one of my good friends. So I'd be remiss if I didn't say him. but it goes back even deeper than that. I think if I had to pick one, it would be Johnny Flynn. Okay. Undersized guard, tough as nails.

And that's like that golden age of the Big East, six overtimes against Yukon, all of that stuff. Like he's that guy. So for me, I'd probably stick with him. I was telling Garrett earlier about a story from that. How old were you during the six-over-time game? What was that, 2006? No, 09.

Oh-9. I think I was 12 when that game was happening. Yeah. So were you up past your game? bedtime that night? I think I stayed through maybe two or three and then my parents banished me. Sure. Yeah. It was over at some point. Well, funny story. I was watching that game and the fifth overtime ends and Dickie V was on the call. Yeah. And he told me, he said, you're baby, you gotta call your friends. You gotta call your friends. It's like midnight on a school night. And so I called

my best friend up. He's like, what do you need, Spark? What do you need? I'm like, dude, Dick Vitel told me to call. They're going to a sixth overtime in the Big East tournament. Turn your TV on. That's a fond memory of life. And by the way, you're not a diaper dandy. So hang up. for dandy dicky v man one of the best one of the absolute best what a legend yeah he's like the corso of college basketball completely yeah you know those completely no they and similar to your point timelines as well and beloved like that's the key with both of those guys so very cool sure sure did you feel any pressure to follow your father's footsteps no i really didn't when i was when i was really young before i i shifted over to deciding i was going to be an NBA star i actually wanted

to be a tv dentist which is not a real thing i just created a tv dentist i created i created i don't know why but I was the weird kid that people would be like, hey, you know, what do you want to do when you grow up little Noah? And I'd say, I want to be a TV dentist. And then look at my parents like, is he okay? You know, everything okay at home. Mike did like a TV show inspire that? Like ER back in the day?

No, I think that I stayed home from school maybe once and watched Mori. And I was like, what if he filled a molar now? Like, I just thought that would be cool. It's actually like, I could see this in like 2026. No, I think now it actually would do well. Like, that is not a cavity. Like it would just, it would deliver. But at the time, for whatever reason, I just had it in my head.

So, you know, once I shifted to it, there was never any pressure from my parents. I think that was, to me, for anything that you do in life, that's going to be the key. And so there was no pressure of going into this. There was no pressure of going to Syracuse to follow in their footsteps there. And I didn't even want to go there initially for that reason. I visited a bunch of other schools. And then I came back around the second time and I was like, I got to go here. I just got to do it.

And so, you know, I think I just had to come to everything on my own terms. and it all worked out the path was what it was and led me to this exact spot, so I can't really argue it. Now you're here on the almost athletes set. Exactly. This was the pinnacle. Yeah.

You've done probably a play for the Olympics, NFL. You name it. You've called it. Yeah. Do you think you could do a Dude Perfect battle sometime? Oh, dude, that would be awesome. Honestly, you guys and Dude Perfect as a whole helped me procrastinate so much over the years

that it would be my absolute honor. I don't know if to say you're welcome. for that or not. Definitely, you're welcome. I did not do so many math assignments. It was way better for me. Well, I got to ask you then. When in Rome, who's your favorite dude? You can't be here. I can't be here and not say the two of you. Come on. I mean, that would be absolutely wrong. I appreciate that. The answer is tied. Yeah, the answer's tied. Well, I mean, he's got a cannon for an arm, so rightfully so, but at the same time. He put a hole in our basketball wall. He dieding for a loose ball out of bounds. He gained three of a pickup game. He can't help him.

So he's always, he's always gone hard. You can pull the reins back. It doesn't matter. The dude actually, he might sweat more than any human I've ever seen, too. It seems like he's got like full trippage. Yeah. You should smell them. I'm good.

Yeah, I'm going to pass on that. Across all the sports that you do play by play for it, there has to be that one favorite sport. Is it the same with you playing? Is it basketball? Yeah. Does that one take the cake? I would say, it probably does. I think football is a very, very close second.

And then I love doing tennis. And I did tennis for a long time. But basketball for me was so ingrained in my life. You know, my dad was calling games for the New Jersey Nets, all my childhood, and then the Brooklyn Nets, and then games on T&T. But I was going with him to games for the Nets when they were going 12 and 70.

To the point that in the 2009-2010 season, we were talking a little bit off-camera about this, there were two things that stuck out about that. One, there were so few people in the arena that I would get there, and they would send this guy Leo over to me. And Leo would be like, you ready? And they'd be like, yeah.

and they would just put me on a court side seat because they needed a seat filler for television. For optics? Yes. I was 13. I was the seat filler. That's a problem. The second thing from that season,

that's one of my favorites of all time, I don't think a team has ever done a promotion like this ever again. And the Nets would never do this again. By the time, different ownership, different people running the team, and they needed to find a way to sell tickets at any way, shape, or form that they could. The tickets at the time were incredibly cheap. And so they had this promotion. You could look it up.

There are photos that still exist. of this, where they were selling, it was a package of five games, the five best teams that they had coming in. It was like the Lakers, the heat at the time with D. Wade, I think LeBron and the Cavaliers. And then Orlando with Dwight Howard

and the Celtics, they had, you know, Kevin Garnett, Pierce, and Ray Allen. And what it was was you buy the five and you get five reversible jerseys in there. One side was the New Jersey net. So it was like E. Jan Leanne or Jarvis Hayes. And on the other side, it was Dwight Howard.

No way. I swear to God. No kidding. This exists. This is a real thing that happened. And I've seen the pennies because they were basically pennies as a way I would call them. But they're jerseys, if you want to call them that, because Tim Capstra, the longtime radio analyst for the Nets would run a basketball camp that I was a counselor at for years.

And he used those as the pennies for the kids. So we're like, we have Team Dwayne Wade against Team E. Jan Leanne. And these kids are like, who? I don't know who that is. Well, at least they got refurb. No, they're still used, I think, today. What's the step after that? That's scary.

It's like, hey, you know, get the five game playing and get five minutes and the game of your choice. Well, you got to think, those are still getting used and they smell like Thai. It's unbelievable. Oh, man. That's crazy. Probably have some horrible memories there. Oh, man. But, yeah, basketball for sure.

For me, I just, it was always a passion of mine. And the NBA in particular, you know, I've done some unbelievable college games over the last couple years and I have a blast doing college basketball. But the NBA, I was just around it so much that for me, it's like a dream come true just to be courtside for all these games and getting to see people like Cooper Flag on a daily basis or getting to go to games and watch SGA and Yokic go to battle. Like that's, that's pretty amazing. Do you like kind of how the NBA has progressed like as far as gameplay? You know, it's, I mean, back in the day when we were growing up, it was physical. Sure. A lot of paint touches. A lot back to the bat. To get middle range. It was actually a thing. I don't know if I've

seen a mid-range jumper since like 2010. Well, I mean, we were just saying what college game was that where you said for the first like eight minutes there was... Yeah, for six minutes to go, first half. I can't even remember. I'm a basketball nerd. Like if it's Socon, I was watching a Socon game last night. Oh, yeah.

I think this was A-10. It was VCU St. Joseph's. That's a good player right there. Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah. And there were six minutes to go in the first half. There were six two-point attempts by both teams combined. That's crazy.

And it's just like the game is completely changed. It's different. I think that there's... I think that everything courts corrects eventually. and I think we're going to, at some point, over the next couple of years, get to a happy medium. We're already starting to see it a little bit in the NBA. The mid-range jumpers are going a little bit more back up. Jalen Brown's taking a ton of them, SGA, obviously.

And then you're starting to see, like, Cooper Flagg, I think, is going to be a guy who will patrol mostly in the mid-range. His game is going to be that 14 to 18 range. So I do think we'll see a little of it. But to answer the initial question, from a play-by-play guy's perspective, it's both challenging and great all at once. the pace is so ridiculous that I can't really get into any storytelling anymore. Like it's the second I start telling a story, this crazy highlight. I just did a game on Sunday, the Nuggets Thunder game in Denver. And I'm about to, I'm getting into, you know, the background of the Nuggets.

And Peyton Watson gets a pass from Yoket's back door and just hammers one on Isaiah Hardinstein. And I'm like, I have to stop midway through, get to that. And now before I could even finish that call, Oklahoma City's got back down the floor and Lou Dors drill to three. And I'm like, all right, what's happening right? here. So it's a challenge. I take it as a challenge, but I do think that it does create some fun aspects of the game, but it is so vastly different to even essentially before the Warriors

reign, if you just look at the difference in total points, in pace, points per possession, and obviously the three point attempts, it is wild to see the difference. Yeah, we, I'm a, I'm an Aggie, so we got Bucky Ball down to A&M, and I watched that game last night versus Bama. I mean, both teams, because Bama does the same thing. Bama is probably the best. example of it. And they can fill it up. Like, I mean, A&M were shooting 50% from three-pointers and Bambu just come right back down within two seconds. And it's like, we had a seven-point lead, but it's gone. Like, I don't know where it went. Yeah. So, it was like, it's so hard. Like, it's like watching hockey. It's so quick. It's, it's, it's actually, that's a really good

comparison because that's exactly it. You, you almost can miss the ball at this point. Like, you could never say that back in the day, you could never, because to your point, you have shack down low, backing down somebody. and just overpowering them. Then Dwight Howard in the Post, you go back further, you know, the Ewing, Olajuwans, and even Michael, you know,

Jordan was not a guy who was going to be just taking 10, 15 threes a game. Reggie Miller was the only guy who was taking a ton of threes. At that point, I think he only took five or six a game. And that was considered crazy at the time.

So it's different, but I do think that in the next like five to 10 years. It's going to correct itself. Even talking to coaches, I think that that's kind of the consensus overall. Always changing, yeah. Kind of like football,

like triple option, no doubt. Yeah. And then spread, now all of a sudden we're seeing a lot of 12 personnel. Exactly. And it just keeps changing. Yeah. That's crazy.

Well, today is NBA trade deadline. Yep. You heard anything? Haven't heard anything crazy. Haven't heard anything crazy. Yesterday was a big day. The last two days, really. For a pre-deadline day, it felt like yesterday was the deadline day is what I was telling

Garrett because it was just so action-packed. We hosted the Mavericks at our office. What was that? Like two days ago. The Mavericks had a shoot around at our crib. And one of the things you looked at Anthony Davis and you're like, brother out, you know. I don't know how much longer you're going to be in town. Sure enough.

At least he didn't get traded while he was at, dude, perfect. That's what we were hoping. We were like, go, don't, don't let something like that happen. You were, well, you didn't want that to happen? No. That would have been great content. That would have great content. That would have been unbelievable content to have. He just walks out. Yeah, I'm actually, I'm very curious. The one thing I was bummed for Dallas

is that they never actually got to see Flag, Kyrie, and Ad on the floor together. Just talked about that. Yeah, we, we did. But I have a, uh, just because like, this whole thing is a conspirator. theory at this point. You know, we trade Luca for nothing. We get flag. And so I already think it's in it's in the writing. We just moved a lot of pieces. I think Luca ends up back in Dallas in two years. Whoa. Luca, Luca, Coop together again. And they just wreck shop. I'm putting it in the,

I'm just putting it in the atmosphere. That would be if you're, if you're a script writer, that's top tier stuff right there. From my perspective, that would be incredible theater. So I, I, I am hopeful that you are correct. I think it's, I just have a feeling, you know, like Luca just came back. I mean, he just has a love for Dallas. He does. That's real. We got rid of Nico. You know, it will have some time to heal a little bit. I will say, walking past the Dirk statue on the back, it says, like, loyalty never fades. And I was like, ooh. Yeah, that's kind of ironic. That was interesting. Yeah, very interesting. But look, they're set up great, man. They are telling you. They got the youngest player in the NBA. And we actually did a comparison on the

broadcast of his numbers to Larry Byrd's numbers as a rookie. And they're very similar. And Larry was 23 when he was a rookie in the NBA and Cooper just turned 19. And I was looking even like record wise, the comparison to Dirk's rookie year and the comparison to Luca's rookie year, record through 50 games is exactly the same as Dirk. Really? And the record through 50 games was only, I think, two or three games worse than Luca. So they're basically right on that same path. Not bad company to be in. Actually, I think today is Dirk's. I saw them, I'm supposed that. today's like Dirk's anniversary when he first appeared in an NBA game. The man from where he's going to be a billionaire, which is just crazy to me.

Still, it's just mind-blowing to me. It's a mind-blowing to me. 19 years old, yeah, that's crazy. We had Clay Thompson in-house the other day when he was talking on Coupe. Of course, he mentioned the ceiling is never-ending, but he made an NBA comparison that I really like because I see what he saw. Tracy McGrady. If you had to give a player comp for Cooper, who are you thinking?

Team Max interesting because there's a difference there. I think that the motor for Cooper is at a different level. Like that's the one thing that just stands out. And so, I mean, I actually saw somebody comparing, and I don't think I would do this, but I saw somebody on Twitter compare him to LeBron in his play style. There are similarities. There's some, in terms of the chase down blockability, in terms of kind of the shooting area.

But I think he actually blends a couple guys together. I think the bird thing is real because he, grew up I mean we heard this whole story from his mom about how his like I don't know what year maybe his eighth or ninth year of earth yeah his Christmas present was the 1985 86 Celtics championship DVD and he watched it almost every single day and so they take at least from his perspective he takes so much from Byrd Danny Ains then like a little bit from macaille and you just look through that team and he's got I think all these makings of a lot of those guys and then I think there's some other guy, like KG, I think there's some Kevin Garnett in there because, again,

he grew up watching him. So the guy he actually trained with for years is Brian Scalabrini. So I think Scal would be really upset if I didn't say. He reminds me a lot of the white mama. The white mama, man. He is that. No, I think he's an amalgam of so many guys that it's hard to pinpoint more, obviously. He's a blender. Yes. Which is a good thing. Yeah, that's absolutely. That's crazy. You had the privilege of being on hand at the 2024 Summer Olympics. Got to call that epic gold medal game. How cool was that? Is that the best game you've ever called in terms of just like the magnitude of the moment? What was on the line?

Obviously, the country being represented. That had to be a really cool one to watch what happened transpired there in the fourth. It's hard to say any other one. And I've gotten a chance to do some really good games. I got the largest comeback in NFL history with the Vikings and the cults. So it was 33-0. When I did the Clippers radio for four years. And they had one season where they had the most comebacks of 25 points or more in NBA history.

It was like eight in a year, It was pretty wild. They had the second largest ever. They were down 35 to the Wizards at halftime. It was a 30-point game, and they won the game. Luke Conard, who actually just got traded, had a four-point play to win the game. It was pretty wild. But that, the U.S. basketball experience as a whole was crazy.

The biggest reason I say it's crazy is because it shows you how fickle everything is in terms of fandom and how people view your broadcasts. Because I was doing the games with Dwayne Wade and the semi-final game against Serial. They're down 17 points. And I looked at D-Wade at halftime, and I was like, they're gonna win, right? And he was like, I don't know. You know, he was getting PTSD from the 04 team. He was on that lost and was a bronze medal team

that he literally said he doesn't even still have his bronze medal anymore. That's how upset he was. And still holds all those feelings. And so I'm seeing the look in his eyes and I'm like, oh, they're gonna lose this game. And now I have to be mentally prepared for everyone in America to hate me and Dway.

Because we were on the call. when they lose. It's going to naturally associate you with the defeat. Exactly. Like you blew your man to man. And everybody's like, oh, let's say he's so excited for Serbia. No, that's the job. Like I have to call the game 50-50.

And so in my head, I'm just like, I'm not going to be allowed back in the country. You know, what's going to happen now? They're going to revoke my passport. That's my thought in the third quarter. And so they come back and win that game. And it goes from everybody hating us to universal love of like how awesome these guys. They were so excited. I'm like, yeah, it was just an incredible.

game. And so the same goes for the gold medal game where they really were in control for the majority of that game. Yabo Saleh has the poster on LeBron, which is ridiculous. But then M.B. comes in and kind of saves the day. And Steph Curry obviously just goes nuclear down the stretch. And it's one of those moments where you can't prepare for it. Just have to hope that you're ready. And the two of us were just so locked in, really, the entire two-week stretch that when the moment came, we were ready and we just kind of reacted accordingly. And Steph goes crazy with his night night night baby

Wembenyama does everything he can but man that was that was a special atmosphere and it was one of those that the other part of it is you have France both the men and women gold medal game they're both in there and it's in Paris and everybody in that arena for the most

part is going crazy for the French team and the coolest thing was before every game we did because I did some non US games too through the entire experience the anthems of both teams the national anthems will play and the Paris national or the France national anthem every time it played every single person in the building

was screaming, belting it. And they're like locking arms. It felt like a war cry almost of like we're going to go and we're going to kick some ass. And it was just the energy to start that game was the greatest I've ever felt to start a game and then to finish the game was the greatest I've ever felt. And then you got to do it all over again the next day

because the women go head to head. And that ends up being a one point win for the U.S. on a crazy finish. It was the last event of the Olympics. So, yeah, pretty special. I don't know how you're going to top that one. Please tell me, out of the two gold medal games, you called, did you get to go take home a gold medal with you?

No. They don't just hand those out, do they? No, yeah, that's, you know what's kind of wrong now that I realize that is I work with Grant Hill all the time. He never offered. And he's in charge. He's in charge of USA basketball. I'm going to get on him about that.

Yeah, dude, Grant. Come on, man. What we're doing. Help him, brother. Help him, brother. I'm a team effort, dude. Exactly. Godly, what does the man got to do to get a gold medal around here?

That sounds like the Nets. That's like the next step for them is the five, the jersey, the reversible jersey, five game package, and you get a gold medal. I'm all in on that. Can you get like a reversible where it's USA Basketball on one side and then like Tuxedo T-shirt on the other side so I can do the broadcast, right? Now I feel like we've got something. Give me the family chicken strips with that in a soda and we got a deal.

Nets basketball. Well, we're almost athletes is what we call our podcast. That's because we would like to think of ourselves as those guys who were this close to making the league. Sure. Whether it was a bad moment, a bad injury is the reason we didn't play for four years with Coach K at Duke.

So we're gonna show you some sent-in fan, almost athlete moments, and we'd love for you to do a little play-by-play. Oh, I'm ready. Is that work? Yeah, yeah, I'm ready. We'll be back to watch and rank your almost athlete fan fails with Noah Eagle. All right, I'm gonna pass these whiteboards out.

We kind of raid them like a dunk contest. scale of 1 to 10, 10 being like, that was an incredible fail. Okay, so 10 bad. Yeah, 10 bad, yeah. And yeah, we just, it's these, we've had some good ones sent in of just people getting, you know, trucking teammates and basketball. Nice. We had like this Mormon biker that was out, you know, after he knocked on a curve, went in over in. Cut a curb, went over the handlebar.

We've all had them. It's just tougher for the kids to have them nowadays because there's a camera everywhere. Well, I feel like for years, the worst thing that could happen was you were on like America's home funniest videos. Sure. And now that's just... Every day. Instant. Yeah.

You can't escape. Yeah, that's brutal. They had a bad audition on American Idol. No doubt. Bad has a whole different level to. That was among the most horrid things I've ever heard. Yeah, that's bad. This is different level.

Yeah. So I say we started off. All right. So with that, I'm going to be as mean as... Do we have a name for... First one, this is Emerson Wolof? All right. Emerson, it'll be.

How do you do... last name. Do you just, do you study this before? Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, like you go into like Google pronunciation of this name. So a lot of times for a lot of the sports, they'll have a pronunciation guide of some sort. Now, the best one is tennis, actually, because every player says their name into a phone and they put it directly on their player page on the website. So I can hear exactly how it's said. Now, sometimes it's still difficult to get. But a lot of times there's a pronunciation guide for the teams. Every now and then, you have a player that they don't have it. And so now I have to go on a scavenger hunt. I'm going

to Instagram. I'm going back to Facebook. If I could go to MySpace, I would. Like, I'm finding whatever I can. Whatever outlet. Exactly. And then sometimes you just have to ask, the funniest thing is, a lot of times people ask like a coach, and they are wrong 99% of the time. Really? Well, sometimes you ask the player and their mother even is like, you know, because that gets tough. One of the all-time stories with that. My dad, when the Nets had a guy named Todd McCullough, played for the 76ers when they went to the finals, and then he was on the Nets Center. and for the entire year he's calling him Todd McCullough. And sure enough, they get all the way to the finals.

The night before game one of the finals, they're about to play Shaq and the Lakers. And Todd McCullough is like, hey, I want to go to dinner with you guys. My dad's like, dude, you have to guard Shaq tomorrow. Like, you should probably be sleeping right now. But they go to dinner, and Todd's parents are in town. And so they're all at this dinner. And midway through, Todd's dad says to my dad,

hey, I've got a bone to pick with you. He goes, it's McCulloch. And he goes, well, your son told me it was, McCull on. He's like, what? He doesn't know how to say his own name? So, yes. McCulloch. That's wild. Also wild that we waited until game one of the NBA finals. To do this, right?

And then Shaq put up like 50 the next night because he was too focused on his last name. Anyway, so yeah, for this, for this case, we would assume it's Emerson Wolhoff. Well, we're just going to go Emerson. Let's go Emerson. This is Emerson. All right. Well, Emerson, on the uneven bars, she has really taken care of this routine. She's

been working through this for months. Oh, boy. Oh, Emerson. that was an epic flip and fail. Yeah, let me see that one more time. What happened? A little slip of the grip? I think it was a slip. I think it's the lack of talc.

She needs more of that LeBron shot off. Oh, man, that was almost really bad on the head. That was a pounded noggin for sure. Even bars are tough, though, guys. You would be surprised how often something like this happens. Look at this. I mean, she barely gets her head up at the last moment. Yeah.

Could have been a neck crack. Yeah. I'm curious on your score on this. That was pretty good, man. Yeah. I'm a 7-5. Yeah. So wait, the higher score is bad.

Yeah. I'm going three. That's not that bad for on even bars, guys. That right there is just one slip of the head. This guy just wants to see disaster. I need to see absolute chaos. I need it to be. This guy is, he needed that to be on concrete instead of her landing on a mat.

No, call me the Joker. I need to see the worst possible outcome. Emerson, I hope you're still thriving on the uneven bars right now. Get right back. Maybe change to the balance beam. Yeah. We got Blake. Blake Kibby diving board.

Oh, I like this. We all know where this is going. All right. Kibby. Oh, Kibby. The ACL just gave out. Yeah. And Kibby.

Now he's completely changed my rating now. He's completely. I think we're on the same page right here. Poor Blake has gotten. All that is is just to scrape down the thigh. It hurts, by the way. The legs just didn't want to operate, huh? No, yeah.

That's an ACL right there. That might be. That's a complete tendon just giving out on you. It could be some meniscus involved there. Part of this, too, is the public humiliation that goes with it. This obviously looks like an organized meat we're having here. You're in the speedo. All of a sudden you end up in this position.

This is like a want-to-get-away commercial, you know? You're also already a ginger, which isn't great. Right, he knows that life. Yeah, I would, I would, yeah, that right there. The ginger wearing a speedo getting just destroyed by a diving board. I think you guys have helped sway my opinion on this. I think the speedo is key in this. It is.

If you're going to wear a speedo, you have to nail it. You do. You can't not look cool wearing a speedo. This guy can't go back to the hall of the size. When we go. I went eight. Oh, I'm going detailed 5.7. Wow.

5.7. Yeah. That would have essentially the same score I would have given the dive. Yeah. 5.7. All right. Let's see what we got here. Logan Warner.

Oh, this is, if this isn't a... I'm really concerned that's the umpire, but let's see. Baseball historically brings out the best. I'm going to assume it's a two-two count. And the two-two pitch. Well,

dropped. That can't be... That can't. Oh! He just got smoked in the face. Ejected him. dude. Give me the eject. I don't think he knows where he is.

Oh my goodness. I have to ask. That seemed intentional. He did not like, he did not like some balls and strike calls. My concern, so somebody was clearly stealing off the, or trying to steal third, right? The guy stealing third. How do you keep them in the game at this point? That's just a personal pride and ego. If I'm the empire, I'm not just ejecting him from the game.

I might try to slash his tires after this. Man, that poor umpire's probably been here. Dude, I mean, there's no pressure. He threw that right into his dome. Like, there's no. I mean, imagine being behind the plate for five innings. You've seen 14 Little League walks. Oh, your knees are already crushed to.

This reminds me, well, there's, there's. Oh, and he turns right into it, dude. That's a direct hit. And it's like, that's the, that's the peak velocity to. That's, that's a good score. I'm going nine. I'm with you, Gare. I'll double down on the nine.

That is. I'm going to raise it up. I'm going 7.7 on this. But here's my question on this. Have you guys ever seen there was a Mets game a couple years ago where there was a play at third and the throw was airmailed it, hit the first base umpire in the face directly.

And the call on that was one of my all-time favorites. Gary Cohen, who's the Mets broadcaster, calling it straight. And then I think Keith Hernandez was with him that day. And the reaction from Keith, was like four seconds delayed. And then out of nowhere, like, Gary's like, he hits the umpire and he's saying one more thing.

And then finally Keith goes, oh, oh, it was like four seconds after the fact. Like that would be as if we saw that. We see him hit in the face. We're like, well, oh, four seconds later. That I've never, I need to ask why that happened that way. Anyway, that's a tough one. I know exactly what player you're talking about. And that poor umpires fixated on first base and just gets,

I've never been a ref fan. I don't agree with umph. I don't agree with ref. but just taking violence against a ref is, you know, that's a little excessive. You draw the line there. I draw the line. I'm all about saying the refs needs to be suspended. You're a pacifist by nature.

I like that. Let's don't dome them in the head. Well, thank you, Logan, for sending that in. I don't know if Logan was the home plate umpire or the kid throwing the ball. If Logan was the catcher, he's no longer playing baseball. I think he got banned for life. Yeah, that's the moment he realized I'm not doing. That's his TV dentist moment, right?

Dentist, yeah. Give it up. Move on. All right, Adam. You don't want to have an almost athlete moment at a driving range. All right. Driving range. And it's time.

Let's see what he's got. He's got a seven iron here. Oh! Wait, wait. We got another domer. What does happen? Oh. Did he get bitten by a mosquito or what happened?

Oh, the slow-mo. Oh, I mean, that thing could not have struck him on the noggin any more clear than that. Tough day not to be wearing a hat or something, you know. Can you play at full speed for a second again? Just like let it go through. Oh my goodness. It's always fascinating to me to see how reaction times, how like pain goes through your like body and it like,

oh, I got to react. All right, well, hold on. Are you guys golfers? Yes. I mean, not really, but yes. You play. Yes. This is maybe my greatest nightmare is shanking a ball so badly.

On the driving range. On the driving range that it directly hits a guy top of the head. What's the welt on his head going to look like? He's got no hair to cover it up either. It's going to be a nasty little. Yeah, there's going to be about the size of a golf ball. Might even say title is across his forehead. This one was trying to protect you.

It had nets in between them. Oh, no. He will absolutely be sponsored the rest of his life. Yes. He has no other choice. Titleist two. That's his new nickname forever. Title is two.

When he walks in the room now, everybody's going to know him as that guy. We have an editor on our staff and we call him Goose. Because on his first, like one of his first times to play golf, first T-box. He smoked a goose and killed it. Oh, no. Right in the neck. Yeah.

Oh, no. Yeah. He's got a nickname at a bit. His nickname is Forever Goose. Like he said, like, it's like tidalist too. Like that's... Does he have like dreams now of the goose coming back to life to haunt them or anything? I don't think he's touched the club since.

Yeah, I wouldn't either. He hung him up. He retired. He hung him up. You also had... That one stinks, but I, you know, I'm also a fair judge. Oh. Oh, see, to me?

I, yeah. Given the pain? I actually... Wow. Four. I'm going higher than both of you guys. Dude, the guy just got domed with a 98-mile fastball right in the temple, and we gave him a 7-7. Dude, I think this one was worse because I think this one, you got to understand, the umpire knows what he's getting into.

This guy has no idea. He's setting up for a swing. He's got no clue what could happen. He's out there for a nice, relaxing, peaceful day on the driving range, him and his swing thought. Yes. And then just gets crushed. He's leaving with the nickname Titleist II. No.

They went from therapy to physical therapy very quickly. If that's Titleist II, the guy who hit its OB left. is what I would say. Or just four. All right, Andrew. We were going on a casual bike ride, it looks like. All right, I'm curious on Andrew. It looks like he's having a nice day.

Nice sunny, strolling out there. Very chill, gets to the sidewalk, and everything's just going nice. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining. Andrew's having a grand old time. And look out, Andrew, don't do this. Oh, Andrew. Oh, dude. Over the top.

Dude. He got planted. Dude. Andrew. Oh, Andrew. What are you doing? What was the goal? He missed the ramp.

I mean, even if he hits the ramp, what's next? He's trying to jump it. He turned into a scorpion very quickly. I think the helmet. Did it come off? I don't think that helmet's on. But his neck might be gone forever. This kid's is why you wear a helmet.

What do you just? My curious, again, I guess. First of all, you got to give it up to Andrew to have the. Why would get up to him? Because he had the confidence to try that. No, I don't. I don't think I see it that way. I don't know if you should be commended for that courage.

Yeah, I think I'm a... That was awesome, dude. I love that. I see courage in that. I mean, execution was poor, but... But yeah, I don't know. What'd you go with? I don't win any five.

That was a winner for me. Yeah, that was a winner for sure. He's going to be tasting dirt for a couple weeks. Dude, but look, his tailbone gets jacked by concrete. Oh, he's getting smoked by the concrete there. And let's be honest, kids, if you're going to try to attempt something like this, let's go with more than just a show. standard issue like triple two by fours

and a piece of plywood is your ramp? Dude, like to go in, oh dude, that's bad. Does he like get up? Yeah, he does. Well, hold on. We don't know. Adrenaline pushes him up and then he probably goes straight to the holidays. He's concussion protocol, I think, for the next couple of weeks. Again, my

question is what was... If he landed and he's running into the sign. That's my point. What was the goal in how this was set up? Like, dude, he's running straight in the metal if he lands it. This is if evil can evil was like the biggest idiot in the world and he already was an idiot

for doing what he did. Oh, look, his buddy. I didn't even see the other buddy there. Yeah, that's a good point. How if you are the film, oh, there's someone watching behind? I didn't even see that. Are we sure that's his buddy

or is that just an innocent bystander? He was just going to move on. It feels like the guy who told him it was a good idea. Right. He's like, I really want to watch. And you go first, dude, I want to see this. Yeah, exactly.

Cornstalk and Maple, wherever they are. They'll never forget that. Then he has to also like, Shepard him back into the house. We're like, mom, we need you. I got to say that that's probably the best almost athlete fail we've seen. I am right there with you, Gere. Wow. That was unbelievable. I think that that had everything. That had courage to execution to like, yeah, that was great. All right. I need more of that. Well, now I'm curious to see what else we have. Yeah. How long until, uh, old Andrew hop back on a bike? That's when you take a break, right?

He still hasn't got back on. Well, that's where you start to question the term. It's like riding a bike. If that's what it's like the rest of life, that's a problem. A car wreck. Yeah. I've never heard somebody going from bike to a bike with training wheels. He might be going in reverse. He's the Benjamin Biden of this bike riders. He's the Benjamin biker. He's the Benjamin biker. That's a nine five for me. It was a nine. What did you say? I was it. Eight five. Yeah, eight five. That's my highest score so far. I don't know if I'm going to top that. Oh, I think that was a 27. Okay, no, this, this already has great promise. This has great promise. Guys, I don't know if you During the Olympics last time in Paris, they had break dancing.

I think Spider-Man is ready to enter his attitude. This could be her. Oh. Oh. Come on, Jacob. Oh. His elbow is gone. His elbow is gone.

His elbow is no longer existing. You have to transfer schools, right? Yeah, you can't stay. Well, unless nobody knows your identity, technically. He lands directly on his elbow shoulder. This is definitely on the stage. This feels like a talent show, a high school talent show. Oh.

He could have used a little bit of Andrew's commitment levels. That one felt like the worst time to bail right there, right? He bailed. He took off or liftoff. He actually got decent air, too. See, here's the deal. The reason why I graded Andrew at a nine was because, you know, he was trying something that took some courage.

This almost seems like a bet, like go up there, like a guy who's never done a back foot before and try to just, oh, head. He landed on his head, too. Straight face. I, with great power comes great failure. And this is rough. Like, what would Uncle Ben think of this? That's, that's bad. He did get up there, though. I mean, guys got some hops. Yeah, but you see, if Spider-Man did this, Mary Jane has never come back to him. Like, it's over. That relationship's done. Sparse, you want to give it a go? No, I'm okay. We talked to Coach Rack from the Savannah bananas. Oh, he's concussed. Oh, legend.

Yeah, he's awesome. Was he out there for a second? Guy, he looked like he passed out for a second. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good one. Now that I'm watching it over, that had a lot of aspects to it. It was legit. It's slightly below the last one for me, but it's an 8-2.

8-5 for me. Good grading right there. Yeah, I like that. I like that overall. Jacob, best wishes as you get better. Just like the Olympics and breakdancing, Jacob, I think we hang it up. Yeah, I think it's done. But at least they have to see your friends, Jacob.

Also, Jacob, maybe try it. man costume next time. Maybe that's your difference. All right. To finish it out. All right. This is my forte. Let me see if I can make a call for Jenna Rollo here. Rollo to the basket. Lays it in, no problem. Maybe this is Rollo instead. Pass. Pass.

Sprint. Oh. Look out. That was a collision. And everybody's okay. Wait, was that the girl who did the layup? So I'm, yes. Go back. Go back. No, it was. Oh, no, different. Three. Three makes the layup. And then who has the collision, 35?

35 does. 35 hustle play. I mean, this is helmet to helmet. I've seen targeting get called for this. But they both get up like it's nothing. Okay, I have to ask here, if I'm a referee, this is a good call. It's a good no call? That was the inbounder that went for the ball.

To me, to me, that's borderline technical foul. I mean, this is. You're going technical, flagrant? What are you going with? Well, if she touched the ball, it's an automatic turnover, so it didn't matter. Oh, wait, is this the second part of this? so what happened here? She got screws

Oh She not just broke it She just got up like it was nothing Dude have you seen Is that a bug? What is that? Dude have you seen how big that break Go back to that image Have you ever seen that

Look at the separation That's a phone break I've never seen that before Oh that does that raise the score Also the fact that she just got up Like it was nothing Can I see that again now that I saw the x-ray? All right lay up nice lefty lay

And see She can't go for the ball here Yeah she's so preventable because she can't grab the ball anyways. But look at the boat. All right. So, yeah. So 35, I think, is the one that breaks the collarbone, right?

Oh. But all right. So, wait, we have more video. Does when they get up, does other thing, does anything else happen after they get up here? Oh, dude, she pulls her up by the arm? She gets up and looks away. Rocking the 35 like Katie. She's like, no, that doesn't feel right.

Yeah, she's like, uh, everything's not correct. Oh, she's trying to get it. And she's like, no, something's wrong there. No, something's wrong. Yeah, girl. Dude, she just walks off. She stays in the game. No way.

stud. What a stud. What a stud. I got to give it up to this girl. That's, you tend it. 95 did. That was my first.

9-2. I think it's one of my first 10. Jenna. Jenna. I've ever done. You are my hero. Spider-Man just lost so many points in my book. And Jenna,

you are a real superhero. This girl stays in the game with an absolutely snapped collarbone. That's a different level. Not all superheroes wear capes, but I will say the girls, tougher than the guys. No question.

She popped up way too. I don't. I'm laying down for a week. Somebody's carrying me out of there. Dude, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, no. And to think Paul Pierce needed a wheelchair there in the finals.

And this girl's hopping up wanting more minutes. Yeah, that's right. Jenna, wherever you end up, I hope I get to call your games one day. Yeah, that was incredible. Yeah, we'll see you in the W one day, Jenna. Yes. Future Dallas wing. Well, to recap, we had some really good fails.

The baseball one still sticks out. But Jenna, taking it home with the absolute just, that was incredible to watch. It was probably not incredible to feel, but incredible to watch. It looks like there's a plate that got permanently planted. So, oh, congrats, Jenna. Yeah, Jenna. Ooh, that whistle means it's time for our two-minute warning. Noah, this is where we get to go on a little rant.

And I've had one cooked up. Today, I'm picking a bone. at Roman numerals. Whoa. I was doing some Super Bowl research and you see X-L-I-I. Nobody has time for that.

I don't know what that means. What happened just to the standard issue 42? We're calling it numerals, which is a tell-tale sign. And it's outdated. It's outdated. Standard issue numbers. We need to start going to them

because the Roman numerals is just outdated. Can you imagine if like our year, like 2026 was like just Roman numerals? It would be brutal. It would be. Good example, though. That's a prime example. Or like your clock is in Roman numerals?

Nobody does that anymore. I mean, but here's the thing I'll say, though, it is nice where you go to like a party and you meet someone who's not a sports fan at all, the great party trick. Like, hey, you know what XL is? Roman numerals? Yeah, extra large. Yeah. So you're well versed in your Roman numerals?

Only the Super Bowl ones. Once 60 ends, I have no idea. Gotcha. I don't need to know. Gotcha. That's like me with state capitals. I feel like I'm really, really good with state capitals. All of them?

Yeah. Yeah, good party trick, dude. New Jersey, you got? Trenton. Oh, yeah, that was too quick. It's a layup line, man. But Roman numerals, I don't have a chance. I don't have a chance.

He chat GPT. But that's my rant. They're outdated. They do look cool on a football field, though, with the midfield strike. I think it's like more of a ticket, those commemorative ticket things. It's an appeal thing.

People still get physical tickets? I don't know, man. I just know back in the day when I was, you know, we're a cowboy fan, so we have to go back to the 90s. And my parents went to a couple of them and they brought home, you know, just the greatest. I held on to that

ticket for so long. But yeah, I don't think they're doing them anymore. Now it's like NFTs or whatever they call them. Yeah. But you're with me though. Roman numerals. Yeah, dude. It's too... Unnecessary. Unnecessary. I just need to get that off my chest. Appreciate y'all. Let me have my moment. Looks like our time is up for this episode. Thanks to

Noah Eagle for joining us. We'll be back next Wednesday with an all new app. Follow the show on all socials at almost athletes. Like and subscribe on YouTube or listen and subscribe wherever you get your pods. five stars greatly appreciated. Share with a friend, almost athletes with due perfect is a wave original. Thanks for tuning it in. Found it. Noggin. See you next Wednesday.