Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect - Dude Perfect on NFL Week 1, Best Football Snacks, & Clayton Kershaw on Hitting Home Runs

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

It’s our first pod! We’ve got Clayton Kershaw talking Dodgers playoff hopes, the future of his career, and how he almost went to college with the Dudes.  Plus, the first week of NFL football is in the books and we’ve got some Redzone do’s and don’ts, fantasy football smack talk, and the best part of the football season - Football snacks - with an Ultimate Football Snack Draft, from Bagel Bites to Buffalo Chicken Dip.  And behind the scenes stories about the Dudes’ early video fails!  Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is a Wave Original, brought to you by Connect 4 Frenzy. https://www.amazon.com/Connect-Frenzy-Bounce-Players-Portable/dp/B0DR9MQYDW Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is (almost) a sports podcast. Tune in weekly to hear the dudes’ hottest sports takes, great debates, interviews with your favorite athletes and entertainers, and hilarious BTS from all things Dude Perfect.  New episodes drop every Wednesday.  Follow along on all platforms.   Listen to the pod on your morning commute or wherever it finds you: Apple: podcasts.apple.com Spotify: open.spotify.com Follow Almost Athletes to keep up with the Dudes!: instagram.com/almostathletes tiktok.com/@almostathletes x.com/almostathletes_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You were committed to A&M and you bailed on us, so. I know, isn't that crazy? We were going to all be at school together. Yeah, dude. You know, we could have been national champions together, dude, and you bailed on us. Welcome to almost athletes with Dude Perfect, a wave original presented by Connect for Frenzy. Get caught in the frenzy. You know what I mean?

Wow. Well, telling. I know. There's only one of those ever, and that was the first. I had to make it good because I got chosen to be the host, Ty, okay? I will say it's an honor to be here with the two main guys. Yes. Let's just say we didn't invite Cody for a reason.

Yep. Yep. I'm Garrett. Sparky. And. Ty. It's good to have you, T. It's good to have you.

I think Kobe, Kobe might be joining us later. Or he might just be by himself later if we don't want to be here with him. It's really up to us. I'm happy to be here. This is exciting. A new venture for us. The dawning of a new era, someone would say. The set looks phenomenal.

Maybe above our pay grade grade, great. I don't think we should have this nice. of a set. Have we earned this already? Have we earned this already? Is it going to be better than the podcast? It might be. Oh, I didn't think about that. We might have, we might have gone backwards on that one. We might have out kicked our coverage on the set. Our art team's too good here, man. Yeah. They're too competent. You want to explain the name to the peeps?

Almost athletes for good reason. None of us were league bound. How late in your life did you believe that going to the league was still a possibility? Wouldn't y'all give up on that dream? I never thought I'd go pro. Wow, mature. I held out hope. Mature. Oh, I did. I got to high school. When I got one. When I got one. When I got one, letter to go play college football from like East Texas Southern Baptist. Bishop Sycamore. Yeah. It was kind of like, okay, maybe the league's not in my future. Sure. Actually, I had an almost athlete moment that kind of was the moment where I was like, I'm not cut out for this. You want the story? I do. It's actually pretty good. I'll keep it short. Here's the short version.

Cheerleading convention in Dallas. Let me tell you this. Those cheerleading conventions are Ooh. I've been. Woo. Me too. I've been. Anyhow, I'm with my friend Ryan. And he had a sister that also competed in cheer. So we're going from my hometown to Dallas, about an hour and a half. We stop at Sonic to start. I go cheddar peppers. Throw those up halfway through the trip on the way there. Okay.

So throw up the cheddar peppers and their Durango halfway there. Horrible tone setter. Get there. It aligns with the cotton bowl. And we're talking like 2004, somewhere in there. Eli Manning, Ole Miss, against Oklahoma State. So I'm already having a bad day. I'm on the elevator.

See Eli Manning. Well, anyhow, me and Ryan sneak off to. the wait room there at the hotel and I cranked that hush puppy up to about 9.0 way too young in my career to be 9.0 in it well there happened to be some Ole Miss rebels in the weight room and next thing you know I hop on that thing 9.0 fall face boom thrown across the room and they just stared and laughed at me whoa and in that moment I went back to my hotel room and I said I'm forever an almost athlete yeah I also had an almost athlete moment where I think uh you know we all wanted to be the dunker back in the day.

Sure. Obviously, you could lower the goal to your liking. You know, this was 8 foot max, maybe. You know, I'm back in fifth grade, sixth grade. And I remember going up, Michael Finley was just, you know, he was my guy. And I'm Michael Finley. Boom. Right when I plant, snap the ankle out for the whole season.

Still never dunked a ball, I don't think, like actual dunked. It's a humbling experience. I have an almost athlete moment. I think we're all. Yeah, my dad. All going to share out of our own. Coming clean. These didn't even come up

when we were discussing names, which is interesting. But now when we sit down to do the first one, you start really thinking. Playoff baseball game, Prosper High School, warming up,

and you know, you start close, just kind of getting the arm loose. Then you go back, start doing some long toss. We're doing long toss. I'm standing basically on the chalk line, not on the chalk line

because the baseball gods don't like when you actually stand on the line. You're not supposed to ever touch it. So just off of it, throwing with Javier Zarate. Shout out, Javier. He is way out in center field, and we are throwing deep balls back and forth. This is like everything you got throwing it as hard as you can.

I throw it out there, you know, you're kind of talking with your buddies, catch one, throw it back out there. Coach is like, hey, T, look over. In the meantime, Javier Zerate had launched one from center field as I'm looking over this. way, straight in the goodies. No cup and I was out for the game. Missed the entire game. Wow. Wow. Just ate it. Suffice it to say, boys, I think we nailed the title. Yeah. I agree. We nailed the title. Very fitting. Almost athletes. I mean, this is coming from, I mean, people do call you maybe the greatest athlete of our generation. They do. I appreciate it. We'll just leave it at that. I appreciate it. Thank you. We'll leave it at that. Okay.

Ep 1, boys, it's finally arrived. Really, we've done a podcast for many years now. They just weren't recorded. That's true. And now we get to finally show the world what we're made of. Yeah, we're going to have some hot takes by Cody Jones. Yeah, we're going to have some hot takes today. We've got NFL football back, was a mighty fine red zone.

We're going to play a little rank, some game day foods, which should get spicy. And what else in two? Oh, we got Clayton Kershaw? Golly, that's fourth on the list. That's how you know it's going to be a good ep. So without further ado, episode one, almost athletes. Let's get it. Let's get to it.

Well, I personally enjoyed my weekend. I did get a little bit stuffy. I think I got sick. It's fine. You played through it, though? Played through it. You got to watch, I mean, week one, you got to play through. Fantasy kickoff, and I was glued to my couch.

Don't want to tell the world? Yeah, we probably should. I was trying to wait, but I can't wait anymore. It's good news. Spread the gospel. DP Fantasy League, you're looking at three guys who are one and O. Not only just a collective three and O by us. Not only just a collective three and O.

the top three scores. Top three scores in the league? I didn't know that. All on the crowd. And that's why we're sitting in these chairs right now. I, you know, obviously, I knew what I was doing when I drafted, clearly. You took some heat for the Josh Allen pick round three. He's my guy, dude. And how did that work out?

I stand by Josh. He will put up an eight-pointer one day, and I'm going to have to stick by him, even though I'm going to be absolutely livid with the guy. Yeah. But hey, that's your boy. He's my guy. points in the first week. And boy, I mean, should we already go ahead and crown him MVP?

It's a little early. Okay, it's a little early. We shouldn't do that. Not yet. Got it. Not yet. How many hours did y'all get in of Red Zone? Be honest with me.

I started it off with Scott Hanson and just, you know, his intro, the countdown and everything, and seven hours of football and just, and I watched all seven. Did you? Yeah. You went all seven. I went all seven. I'm going to be honest. I got in.

I got a late start, which is, unlike. like me, went to the late church service, which started at 1130, and I'm sitting there about 1204, and I get the little Bijon 50-yard receiving TD. Did I pull up Red Zone a little bit early while still at church? Maybe just a hair, but after that I got back to the house and I got, I got right. How are you not going to the early service on one? On week one, there has to be excuse here. We'd already discussed it. There were people that even brought that up when we showed up for the 1130 service. But that's okay.

It was good. Is checking a fantasy alert in service? It's totally fine. It's frowned upon. Oh, it is. Well, it's not a good, I mean, were your kids by you? Were they in Sunday school? Bear was there.

He was next to you. Oh, he saw it? Yeah. No one's perfect in this world, dude. It's fun. Yeah. Except for Bejohn, that's a strong run. That was great.

It was a great way to start your season. That was. I went all seven. You did. You expect that out of me. Yeah, you do. I was worried about the leash and the wide. this weekend. Do they understand? Oh, I got absolutely chastised, dude. The wife is not happy.

But you stood in the pocket and still delivered. I mean, dude, it was like 60 degrees in Dallas, Texas. It was a beautiful day. And I sat indoors all day watching Carolina. No youth sports out of y'all this weekend? Not on Sunday. God's good. I'll tell you what. What's your favorite box? Like the quad? Give me the octo. You want it all at the same time. I'm working on a 42 inch. I know y'all, I know y'all have a little. Octo on a 40 tour? So I stand. So I stand and get close to the TV. That's ridiculous.

For seven hours you stand? Well, no. When the octo box fades and we go back to like an Ohio double box, since he and Cleveland, and I can sit down and enjoy it. Okay. You know, if Scott's willing to stand all day, then I'm willing to stand for half the other, you know?

Okay. Wow. We need to get this kid a bigger TV. Hey, you know what? After this, after we're done recording, I'm going to take you to Best Buy or wherever we need to go. And I think they're like $200 now for an 85-incher. So.

There's a town. I'm I in the Salina area if y'all just want to go ahead and let's just do the whole thing. A 42 inch is disgusting. 1080P though. 1080P. That is even worse.

That shows you the commitment levels though. I'm not taking a Sunday off, you know? And neither do my fantasy team. Ask Cody Jones. I'm just happy it's back. You know, baseball playoffs will be a lot of... Whoa, whoa, what's that? Not y'all care, I'm just getting a drink.

What is that? Oh, yeah. This is my crew cup champion. championship trophy from this weekend. Sorry, but I forgot I, yeah, I did do that this weekend. I used you to drink water out of now, but to stay hydrated. Wow, what a power move. I feel like I should clap for you, but I also felt like you forced it and didn't let me naturally do it. No, there was no forcing. It should have been more natural. Oh, sorry. I'm always, I set that down next to my Jason Kid MVP award too that I got. Oh my God. What's a Jason Kid MVP award consist of?

That was me and the best player on my team. First of all, okay. The Jay Kid MVP award. J-Kid MVP Award. Shout out to my captain, Ben Rathusberger for picking me up. Great golf tournament, crew cup. It was a real treat. My team got it done. We played well. Yeah, NFL Sunday, man. It was nice. It was nice. It was just beautiful. Like, we got to chill, relax, watch ball. Did you all have any takeaways from the NFL Sunday other than fantasy dubs? Spitting on people is still not okay. Yeah, that was weird. That's like in now or something? Is that what the new generation's doing? Maybe. I'm out on that, man. We had Suarez started off a couple weeks ago.

I thought he bites people. He bites and spits. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, they need to check him for like cannibalism. That's like the next step. I'm just saying it if you're biting and spitting. Spint on someone next step is you start eating people? Honestly, when's the last time you spit on somebody?

Uh, on purpose. I don't think I actually ever have. I don't think I have either. I think that's a very like, you make the choice. I'm going to, there's a lot of things that have to go right for you to spit on something. So after the COVID era too, seems crazy. Yeah. You better be five feet away spitting at me.

Yeah. Which DAC did, which DAC was. He did. He did. For him to say that DAC initiated that was a little bit crazy. That's a little crazy. I mean, he direct-oed him too. He hit him with a really good spit.

And it was the worst location for it to land too. Because it's like if it's up here, it's an immediate wipe off. If it's on the jersey, it's like, that's still gross, but it's on my jersey. it like hit the top of the jersey, falls in, and it's like, oh, now you can't get that out? With high exit V-Lo on that spit. If you're Dak in that situation, you swing it or you taking it like Dak did?

Dack handled it. He actually, unbelievably. I don't, did he know that he spit on him? Sure. Yeah, because he looked at the ref like, are you serious? Like, literally, like he obviously knew right away. Shout out to Dak for handling like a champ.

Better than I would have, I think I go full Miles Garrett on him. Whoa. off, wham! But that's why I'm sitting on the bitch. That's why I'm an almost athlete guy. I have rage issues. I have rage issues, and I need to be here. I mean, even the rage monster doesn't stoop that low.

No. The rage monster doesn't even spit at people. Have you all ever been in a fight in a sporting event? Gare almost got in a fight every night at the pit when we were playing. Yeah, makes like soccer. Yeah, I, but almost fight. It's like almost athletes. They were almost fights.

It never really got there. Twins. twins. Everybody, let's just talk about this for a second. Everybody's like, oh, it must be so nice to work with the twins. They're so friendly and so nice. You ever been on a golf course when one of them kind of gets under the other one's skin? And then all of a sudden they're in a full out brawl on number nine at the turn with people watching?

I have, actually. Yeah, I've been there. I've been there. They're not afraid to get after it. It's embarrassing. They've gotten better. They've gotten better. Did you like the YouTube game?

Like, do you think that should be a thing every year? I mean, I'm cool with it because it gives me another night of football. I can get used to the... Like, people talk down the Thursday night game, like, oh, the product's bad. It's football. Like, why are we complaining? On another night of the week.

It could be tough as a father. You know, if you're Philip Rivers, you're probably not watching Thursday night football. You're laughing, but y'all are getting close. No. What's he have? Eleven kids now? You had a huge fifth inning, I guess,

and put up some runs. Who's got more kids? Nick Cannon or Philip Rivers? That is... That's their guess next week. I'm going to have to get back checked on this. I have no idea. I don't...

I don't know. I really don't. I think it's Nick. I think Nick has more. But I don't know how many Phillip has. I know it's a lot. What's Nick up to now? I think Nick has like 15. Oh, so he can field a football team. Yeah. I think there's some of them are playing both sides of the ball, but yeah. He could go two seven on seven teams, I'm pretty sure. That's a lot of children. That's a lot of children. That's a lot of children. I struggle with three, so I think I'm good there. Yeah. 12. He's got a dozen. He's got a dozen. It's Nick Cannon. Okay, so 15 was a little extreme.

Give it... Well, he might... He might have episode six. Episode six, he might have 15. Okay. Philip only has four? No.

No, no. Ten. Yeah, okay. No, that's way closer than I thought. Way closer than I thought. A close race, dude. I can't even imagine. Dang.

I can't even imagine. I would love to see a sibling battle of Rivers versus Cannon Kids. A squad games, Philip Rivers versus Nick Cannon family. That could be. That could be must watch. Did you watch Chargers Chiefs?

Yeah, yeah, South Paulo. Yeah. Ever was? We were in Brazil one time. I wasn't. Remember what happened? Yeah, I got super sick. Oh, you get sick everywhere.

Yeah. You got sick in Florida, shark fishing. I got sick of my house this weekend. And you got sick at your house, and you got sick in Brazil. Garrett, your immune system. It's like Cody Jones's fantasy team. Kind of weak. Kind of weak, dude.

Me and Cody are new to the league this year. Yeah. We got... Knocking off the rust, man. When's the last time you played? I think it was five years ago? Think five. It was a long time.

There was a long time ago. Cody's been playing, supposedly. He didn't look like it because he almost left a kicker. Yeah, can we talk about that? I wasn't going to say anything because I was playing Cody Jones, but the disrespect that was to have Tyler Bass on the IR in his kicker spot. Granted, it was about 3.30. He looped it.

He went Tyler loop from Baltimore. And the crazy part about that is he almost got a lucky loop and almost came back and beat me. We have a relegation system. And that's what's spicy about our league. So we got a B league, which, oddly enough, are... We have a C league. We have a C league? I didn't even know about the C League.

Who's in the C League? I know who's in the B League? So that scares me for who's in the C league. Yeah, you don't want to be in the C. And that's what could happen, though. You could Sunderland yourself so quick, but you're like, boom, boom. And you're stuck in C for six years. It would be kind of fun to play in the C league.

Dude, if I ever fall to the C League, it's see you later. No way. I'm still continuing on with fantasy. I'm an auto bid back in two years. Easy. Can you imagine that draft? No. I mean you would have anybody you wanted.

That's hard to believe H.R. Bonnie is in C League. I don't want to go there. I don't want to give you in trouble. I will say that. You send a bad trade and it might get canned. In the B League, I heard, I heard, you know, chief product officer drafted four QBs and two kickers. Two kickers. And still got the W in week one.

See, he won. Yeah, that league's bad. That league is bad. That's crazy. That's mind-boggling. Six roster spots for two-eusing kickers? I think we should up the ante. I think if you get last in C-League,

I think it's automatic firing. Ooh, that's a hot take. But yeah, I think there's got to be some stakes there. Yeah. I think October's one of the best sporting months of all times. It's coming up. It's underrated. What's also great, that brings fall food,

game day food, specifically. Yeah. I think we do a little game day food draft. I'm so in. To see the winter. I'm fresh off a snack-filled Sunday, boys. My stomach actually feels like it went through an NFL week one. Oh, yeah.

I mean, I always gain at least 10 in the fall. At least 10. I gained 10 yesterday. Bluebell was on the menu. I usually gain 40. 40. But then you go, but then, dude, your January through March is impressive, dude. I hit it hard.

I mean, you don't eat. You don't eat for three months. I like the way you do it. That's kind of how I do things, though. So here's what I'm thinking. Yeah, game day foods, man. We throw up a list. We do a little snake draft.

So this is tough. I'm not sure how we throw out the first, second, third pick. Maybe we'll just pick it. But don't let me down here and you guys throw meatballs up there because that's a disgusting pick if you do that. Don't want to sway it too much. We can just start from this end, your first, second, third. So you get the double back to back.

Well, that's what you take for drafting third. So I'm first up? Your first step. And it's just easy, dude. Yeah, it is. You're exactly right. It's easy, and I like mine cheesy. It's pizza.

Yeah. Obviously. A game day pie. I agree with that. If you're complaining about a game day pie, then you've got issues because that's like a full meal almost. And it's my favorite meal, Gary. So if you want to be critical of my draft, keep it to yourself right now because I'm getting

a little offended. Even better if it's stuffed crust with some halapinos and pineapples on it and some hot hot. I do. See, I do pineapple too. So it's nice to have another pineapple bread. brother here. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, so pizza. Pizza. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. But I'm a big, I'm a big pea apple guy. I love my pea apple, but LeBron number one and Cooper Flag number one's not controversial just like pizza number one.

Yeah. Build it how you want. Doesn't matter. Pie, easy number one. Number two, all the favor. All the board. This feels bad. I just, I feel like you're going to. No, no, no. This is, this is great. And, but I will say it depends how they're prepared. but I am going nachos at number two if I can do the assembly. I mean, that's just so much discrepancy. Like you go to a concession stand nacho? That's what I said.

That's what I said. It depends how it's prepared. But if we're assuming the best quality version of all of these, which I think we have to do, if we're going to have somewhat of an honest draft, then I'm going nachos at two. But I do, hey, one of my biggest pet peeves is you get nachos from somewhere.

and you go and you get like a chip off of it and then you realize there is nothing below the first layer there's no queso there's no meat there's no cheese there's nothing that's a dark place you have a pile of chips under like four good nachos I'd like to tilt a nacho over and let the cheese

you know the worst ones are when they do you know the have you ever been to the like fancy place where they don't there's nothing in here at the bottom and they're like look at all that the tin can nachos it doesn't get to the bottom and I think that's like the whole point of it. Look, these are, these, these are coming from, I mean, all three of us. I mean, got close to 250 at point in their lives. I mean, I think we know food pretty well.

230. Yeah, it was 230. I kind of, I kind of exaggerate a little bit. Two 50 sounds better. It does. But, uh, two 30. Uh, flash, show up. Just show some of our, yeah, honestly, you guys go ahead. What was your, you were never two 30. I never hit two bills, actually. You never hit two bills. You were, you were unrecognizable in that, uh, in some of those get crafted. I was one 99. I was a pop. I was a pop. biscuit away from two bills but never got there. Oh, I was 225, and if somebody didn't look at me in the eyes and say, you have a problem.

I would be 300 right now. Okay. Easy. I love food that much. I look forward to being 300 one day. I don't think you can get there. You couldn't get there. Watch me.

Challenge accepted. Pick number three. All right. And four. Yeah, here's the deal. I'll make them quick and easy. Chips and queso. Yeah.

It's like a nacho, but a little worse. I go seven-layer dip there, but I'm a queso guy. I love, I love, or a buffalo dip. Buffalo dip. Okay, well, it's seven-layer dip and Buffalo dip are two completely different things. I can pick them both, but I'm picking neither because pigs in a blanket. On a game day? On a game day?

I love a good piggy and a blankie, but on a game day? Snack food, central pigs in a blanket that you could even dip in the queso. That is crazy. Steaks good, but is it a game day? No. Pigs and a blanket, that's like, that's, that's, that's, you know, that's, That's breakfast, brunch on a... No.

Yeah. Yeah. Breakfast? Yeah. Oh, totally. That's a breakfast item. You just drafted a kicker in the second, brother. That was a wild pick by you.

That's John Schallend and the third, and you're welcome. With the fifth pick in the 2025 almost athlete snack draft, Tyler Tony selects, again, if we're going the best quality version of all of these, because there are very, very poor versions. I'm going ribs. Yeah, again, kind of feels like we're cutting corners here. Are you going to go cheeseburger? It's on the list.

You can't give me a thing and say, here's the list. But that's not a game day food. Well, then why is it on there? Then it shouldn't be on there. It shouldn't be. That meatballs is a disgusting display right now. Meatballs, no, I go to a, I've been to the things where they have meatballs. I don't know why I hate meatballs.

That is a last pick all day long. Yeah, we agree on that. What we don't agree on is ribs and pigs in a blanket. Are you calculating how much time it takes to prep the ribs, too? I'm not making it. What about the wings? What about the ones? What about the,

what about the way? What about the one of the ones? I don't ever wipe. I just do one of those. I'm not a napkin guy. That says a lot about your second thing. You look at the back of my pants. I've got food stains because I just do one of these.

I get on to my boys for doing that. All right, Sparks, bring us back. It's your pick. No, it's me. Oh, Sparky goes. Oh, it's his pair. You're going to go Buffalo Wings. Yes, I am, Garrett.

You're exactly right. Buffalo wings. A lot more logical. Cool. Then ribs and pigs. Give me buffalo wings, easy second. And then we're going to follow it in the third with a little change of pace here. And that's when we throw a little popcorn.

I just wish it said with Bev because you have to have beverages on tap or it's a bad pick. Interesting. Is this buttered popcorn? Well, this is... Or is this kettle corn? Well, according to Ty,

whatever your imagination concocks, you can create. I was thinking caramel. I'm thinking all of it. You don't get to change the menu item. That is... Its essence is it's just popcorn. Here's what's easy about popcorn.

It's just right there. You know, you can go for a little bit. You can let it rest, but it's very easy. And that's why it's my third round pick. Yeah, popcorn. I don't even need a fourth round pick because this is science. I don't love my draft right now, to be honest. You should.

Notcho's shrimp. You should. I mean, my God. You drafted nachos then told me why nachos on game they aren't a good selection. This is an easy choice for you. I think so, too. For me, and I think we're in the same place, jalapino poppers.

No. I wasn't going there. I was not going there. What were you going to say? I was going to be this. It's got to be Buffalo chicken dip, but I'm glad you left it on the board. Put me Buffalo chicken dip.

Okay. It's a great game day food. Look, I'm talking about a game day plate. They're small plates. They're always the small plates. I've never been to a game day food that has the big plate. So you're trying to stuff a lot of things. You're thinking poo, poo platter.

Ties is done with nachos and ribs right off the bat. You don't even have spot. for the alopean. You don't make it to the late window. Yeah. You don't even get there. I'm going to get there. I think I'm fine.

I gotta say it. No, I keep, I'm going again. I'm going again. Yeah, you are, aren't you?

I'm going bagel bites for my next. Yeah, that's a good pick. I can't believe that was a fourth round. I can't believe I didn't take it when I took coffee. Guys, I'm not going to lie, I've done nothing today and this is why I'm an almost athlete.

My calf is cramping. I'm having a cramp sitting on a couch. From podcasting? It's bad. Or not cut out. I need bananas and pickle juice brought in. This is crazy, dude, than cramping on a podcast? This is, at least I admitted it, though.

Like, we're going to have to listen to your right one. Yeah, dude. We're going to have to have, like, an injury report from the podcast. Golly. Garrett. What a joke. Yeah, you're a game time decision, Garrett, cramping. I mean, at this point, give me meatballs.

It can't get worse. It can't get worse. You could have gone potato chips. That team. Seven-layer dip, Frito Pie. That's great. That team's picking one next year because y'all aren't winning a game. Yeah.

I mean, potato skins, like, that's just a horrible name for snack, too. The best potato skin, when you put some ranch dribble on there? Let me put a bow on this in the proper fashion. How potato chips must have had a horrible pre-draft interview, the fact it's still left here. Easily getting a bad combine. Had a bad combine or something. I think I won the draft clearly, but Sparks, you're sitting number two great. Like, you're not even close to number three.

Really? Me, boss. we'll let the viewers decide that one. Comment below who won that draft and why it was Sparky because obviously I take the crown there. Pigs in a blanket in the second round by you. You had a great draft going until you went Pigs in a Blanket number two. I will say I wish I would have gone Buffaloings instead of Pigs and Blanky.

If I'm going to switch that out, that's a flawless draft. Chips and Koso has to carry your team. It has to be MVP, which it does have MVP tendencies. Well, here's the deal, Sparks, because I want to talk about this a little bit. because you are an aficionado on these suckers. Bagel bites. Yes. There's not a person who can cook a better bagel bite than me.

Well. Just give me the wattage of the microwave or the, I don't like the microwave mine. I saw, I saw on social media, this little bagel bite draft. Yeah. And I am just curious to see your take.

Because everyone has it. Basically, it's a plate of bagel bites. Oh, we got it right here. You got 25 of them or 24 of them. And it's, which bagel bite are you? You take in first right off the back. Give me your top three and then give me the worst.

I have a hot take. You do have a hot take. Well, maybe it's a normal take. I don't know. First of all, tip of the cap to this guy right here who's a man who put 24 B-bytes on his plate. You think he-he ate them all? Yes. Yeah.

He ate all 24. How many come in a package? It's not 24. It depends. You can buy the family size. Yeah, I get the 48 with two 24 trays. 48 and you're making a 24 tray. How many nights a week?

Guys, where was tequitos? I'm making returns. business. Where was tequitos? Yeah, it's a good game day option. To have meatballs over tequitos? I love tequitos. Ticitos are a great game day option. Hey, we played with it. I'm concentrating here, boys. Give me a second. Okay. I'm locked in. Worst bagel bite out of this list? I know mine. Is the one I'm eating first. Let's go with that. 17. 17. And there's a reason for it. It looks saucy. Interesting. It's not the look. I don't know if they were cooked this way. I would need to know where they were arranged in the oven

because I want to go with the one that's going to least likely give a third degree burn to my mouth. And the cheese. 17, it being a middle boy. The perimeter is off limits, boys, because that's how you call the fire department. But you don't know, you don't know that that's how they were cooked. Yeah, fair.

Hey, are you saying a 20 if you bite into that, you're roast in the mouth? If you bite into a 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9er, you're in trouble. So we're going under the assumption that we just took these out of the oven and we've got to stick them in our mouths? That's how I would go about my first bagel bite. That's an interesting take. Or you just assume these are all, they've all rested the appropriate amount of time out of the oven. And now we're just selecting which one we want to eat.

Assuming you rested the proper amount of time leaves you with a burnt mouth. That's why I go middle. Well, hey, the ugly duckling in the group, the mystery irrelevant, 23. 23 is ugly. I just saw it. That thing should be just tossed into the trash. That's one. If you do feed a pet, you're like, boom, ego buddy.

You know, that's one that's one that's made for the dogs. That's where Bagel Byte has made a little bit of money because they didn't put the proper cheese sauce on that. I mean, that 23 is not sauced up at all. No. I have my first round pit. What's your first round pick? And again, this, it all comes down to the essential. assumptions that we're going on. It does. It does. But I'm actually going 13. And I'll tell you why.

13. I don't even see it up there. Thirteen? Bottom left. Okay. Yeah, sure. Bottom left. And you might think, well, it's a little asymmetrical tie. It is. Here's my thought process. It's the right amount of toastage across the B-byte. You grab the non-sauced cheese side. Okay. The undervalued cheese and sauce. So you know your fingers are safe. Okay. If you immediately feel warm. It's kind of like when there's a fire and you learned about an elementary school, you kind of touch the doorknob just to feel it out first. That's your 13 bagel bite. You touch your test drive, your bread side. And you're like, okay, it feels warm. What that allows you to do is still have room to bite mostly bread, but a little bit of sauce while keeping your lip a little high. So you can

bite into it and you're not getting that burn right there. Okay. One problem. If it feels, I'm not done. Okay. If it feels not hot on the bread side, You can go ahead and turn that sucker over and go for the full toastage side, bite in. Don't worry about the lip lift, and you can just get into it right there. You guys are two bite bagels. Oh, yeah.

You never, unless they're cold, unless you know there's like two of them left and they're gone, that's the only time that I would grab one and just go full B bite straight to the mouth. Okay. All the way in. I got a problem with it, Ty, and that's the fact that you're three bite and your first B bite. You've got to go and set the tone on the opening kick.

you got to go full bagel bite right off the bat. Yeah, which that means... You're three nibbling. You're not a child. You cannot take a bagel bite out of the oven and go a full bite all the way in the mouth. If you trust the game plan, you can. No, unless you know for a fact, those things have sat out for 30 minutes. I'm going to prove it to you next week.

That was the assumption, though. They're calm, cool, and collected. 20s to play. But I do, I do love your reasoning for keeping the fingertips clean. That's good. Yeah. You're a 21 guy? 20.

20 is the pick. Oh, so you're taking the best. You're going to desert. He's going to desert right off the bat. I'm a perfectionist, and that is perfect. I think I could have guessed yours. So. I don't know what happened to 10.

Must have been in a weird spot in the oven. Yeah. It's enough about bagel bites. It was out on the perimeter. Wow, that's good, though, guys. What else went on in the sporting world this weekend, boys? It was loaded. It was loaded.

Our boy, Alcras. Oh, yeah. He took care of business. Fresh cut Carlos, as I like to call him. Fresh cut Carlos. What was the backstory on that? Was it a brother cut? I think it was a misunderstanding.

He said, he got great clip. Barber messed it up and that was the only option. Same thing that happened in my ear back in there. He's way too high profile of a guy to be getting bad B shops. That's what happened to me, dude. Yeah. Bad B shop. You never went back.

Same with you. Yeah. I still use great clips. Shout out. You do? Yeah. Does she tell you your hair stinting every time? She doesn't speak English.

How did you, how do you communicate what you want? It's on my profile. It's a two and a half on the sides. leave the top. There you go, dude. I was scarred, man. I would go to great clips, and she'd be like, hey, you know your hair thin?

I was like, yeah, I know my hair standing. You don't have to tell me every time I come into this place. Sure. I just wish my bad cut came with a U.S. Open title like Alcarez. Yeah. And I'm missing that.

That was impressive, though. But he didn't do it in straight sets. I wanted to see him go the full-on tournament and straight sets would have been sick. That's never happened, right? That's a good question. I'm not the tennis expert. I got a hot take here.

Should I say it? Yeah. You can't say that and not say it. I think U.S. men will never have, like, I mean, the last time we want to, want to talk, was it Sampers? I mean, was it that long ago? I don't think U.S. men will win a grand slam in tennis because mentality, dude. I think it's maybe fifth, sixth, seventh on the list of when you're growing up, if you play tennis, bro. You just made fun. It's down the list.

Well, why don't you take matters into your own hands? It's a, it's a, it's a mentally, you're getting berated from day one playing tennis. Once you start with the man in the mirror. Man in the mirror, look at yourself and say, what can I do better as an American? There's a podcast. There's a podcast on Joker. He grew up, Serbia. War was all around him.

He practiced in an empty pool, in an empty pool. You're saying they got levels of commitment. During a war? They got, that guy has. That guy has such levels of commitment. I'm 308 to. Shout out. Shout out to just a guy.

I mean, I'm here cramping on a couch. And I've got poison. And the dudes out there just grinding on the tennis court. You've got ivy? I've got P-I-D all over my legs. That's something you announce before we're coming into the podcast. Look, it's on my arms. It's on my fingers.

I mowed. No. No, you did it. Yes. You were lost on the golf course. You blocked a show. You were lost on the golf course. You hit one into the woods right.

No, I was moving our chicken coop out of our neighborhood because we got an HOA violation. Whoa. That's a story. for another day. And I was moving it to the ranch and Bethany wanted to be kind of close to the house, but still in the woods where it was shaded. So there was a nice little spot. Problem is there was poison ivy like this high in the whole area, hopped on the zero turn and started going to town thinking I'd be safe and elevated. You breathed it in. I kind of pulled a Cody Jones when he built a fire out of poison ivy. Oh, yeah. Not as bad, but it was windy. And I think it

like stirred all that stuff up and it got all over me and I have PIV everywhere. I love the transparency now that we're here in the podcast right. Yeah. No wonder. You can't get it now. Dude, no wonder your draft was so bad, bro. I can't even think straight. You can't even think straight.

Oh, dude. Let it be. Let it be. Well, hey, you know, T, we'll let you go take care of it. I'm fine. I think your time here is done. I think it's time for a little bit of Clayton Kershaw. You would say we're pretty competitive around dude perfect.

Oh, would I ever name it? We're competing. I mean, video games, things you eat, just whatever. Another thing, board games. There's a new game that scratches my age for competition. Connect 4 frenzy. I do love the old Connect 4. Sure.

But this is different. It's more active. It's more intense. It's more competitive. It's right up my alley, dude. Here's how it works. Players bounce discs off a table into a grid. And at the same time, it's kind of a wild free-for-all.

You're just trying to sink the disc, steal the spots, and be the first to get four in a row to win. There's other ways to play to test your skills. There's a chill way to play and you can take turns bouncing. No one wants to do that, especially in my household. I mean, I'm pushing my daughter away to try to win. You can play in under 10 minutes so it's perfect for vacations, barbecues, dorms, tailgates. It's a great gift for kids over eight. teens, adults, looking for an exciting addition to game night.

This game really gets the party started. Want to take a look? It sounds intense in the best of ways. Don't mind if I do. You sold me, Garrett. I'm going to take this bad boy home with me. That one's mine. That one's mine said it first. I got it out. Connect 4 frenzy.

This one's going home with me. Thank you, dude. I appreciate it. Get in on the action with one of the season's hottest new games. Connect 4 frenzy. It's a free-for-all. All right, Sparks. First guest on our show.

Who's getting the ball? Who's opening day starter? I'll give you a little hint. Okay. 11-time All-Star. Three-time Syung Award winner. Okay. A National League MVP, over 3,000 career strikeouts.

More importantly, father of four, one on the way. He's the pride and joy of Highland Park. Place for the Dodgers. Give it up for Clayton, Kershaw. Yeah, baby. Kirshah, getting the ball on opening day. I thought there for a second before Garrett mentioned kids. He was talking about me and my MLB, the show character,

because I also have amassed over three years. thousand strikeouts, 11 all-stars. How did we leave out two-time World Series champ right there too? Has two rings. One very important one too. Yes, very much so. Yeah, that meant a little more to us, that one. That one might as well have been two, three total. Yeah, beating the Astros. So that was huge. Five kids, who gets the ball on opening day? Who you put in up first? You got a full rotation. I mean, you've, you've, I know, I got a starting five. Well, our fifth one's coming in December. So it's another little girl. So I've got girl and then three boys and then this one's a girl. So I guess if I'm giving the ball, I got to give it to my oldest son, Charlie. He's probably the most into

baseball right now. And it's been a ton of fun man this season, you know, this summer. He's been riding around with me coming to the field, trying to hit bombs and all the stadiums and, you know, going out to the outfield and trying to hit him over the fence, Robin Holman's and stuff. So that's been so fun, you know, later in life to have, not in life, but in baseball life, later in baseball, life to be able to have Charlie come to field and enjoy that with me. It's been so fun, dude. It's been a great season for that. Yeah, you speak as if you're ancient, Clayton. I mean, you're only, you're 37, you're only 37. Yeah, baseball years though, dude, we're getting up there a little bit. Yeah, sure. So, dude, you went to Highland Park High School right down the road from us. You played a little

youth baseball with a guy named Matthew Stafford. I did, yes. The season's kicking off. How was he as a baseball player. Like, is he a better baseball player than quarterback? Yeah, I mean, I think we can all say he made the right choice. But he was really good at baseball. He played shortstop on our high school team. And he came into like clothes every once in a while. And obviously a really good arm, but just a great athlete, good hitter. I think for sure definitely could have gone to college to play. And he was way better at baseball than I was at the football. That's for sure. When was your last year of organized football, Clayton? I stopped playing my, like after my freshman year.

I had this like, they were getting ready to do off-season football. And I was going out for baseball. And they were like, hey, we got to shave your head. And you got to go through all the off-season stuff as part of like the ritual there. And I was like, I don't think I want to play anymore. And, you know, it's still shaved my head, put all the numbers in or whatever. And I was like, all right, I'm good. I don't need to do this anymore.

So. And I was a line. Yeah, I read that correctly then. I saw online you were a sinner. I'm like, well, hang on here. Were you in the 250s, weight-wise back then? Or was this just an undersized? team that you just had to play center.

I was a big kid. I've always been big, but I was like shrunk. I hadn't grown yet. So I was just like a little square for sure. I was a chunky little square. And so yeah, I played center and it was fun, you know,

to be it on a team and beat all of my buddies. But I was ready to stop for sure. Man, I can't believe I'm saying this, but we share that in common, dude. I also center. Wow. That's awesome.

Dude, you missed your calling. And I will say I still claim to be the fastest guy on that team that year. At the center. position. I don't know why they put me there. I just was like, I guess I was the only one that knew how to snap a ball. Man, I did go to a tiny school, so it makes sense. Clayton, we went through your accolades a little bit, but there is one thing missing. I don't even know if I have permission to do this, but you have never made a main channel, dude, perfect video. All

Sports Golf Battle, dude, we might need to jump on that. And like I said, I'm kind of out kicking my coverage here. I don't think I'm the one to be throwing invites around, but you're welcome to all sports golf battle with us whenever. Oh, I would love to do that. That would be a blast. You know, we had it lined up, kind of similar to what Skeens did with y'all. We were going to do it in spring training, and then something fell through like it wasn't a bullpen day or something didn't work out.

But yes, honestly, I would love to do an all golf battle with y'all. That would be a blast. Let's do it. I got to be honest with you, dude. The reason it fell through was you were committed to A&M and you bailed on us. I know. Isn't that crazy? We were going to all be at school together.

Yeah, dude. You know, we could have been national champions together, dude. And you bailed on us. We had so many overlaps, though, because my wife went to A&M, and I think she had some classes with Cody. And then, you know, our nanny, Reby and the twins know each other. So it's just like, there's so many A&M overlaps together. It's pretty cool. Speaking of college, dude, do you ever, like, do you ever think, like, you're going to go back, get a degree?

Ooh, I don't think so. I don't know, but I doubt it. I felt like a hard no. The soft is hard no of all time. Absolutely not. I don't think so. But it did look like a blast when I went and visited Ellen down there when she was in college. A&M looked like such a great time and such a good culture there.

So I'm sad to not have stepped on campus, but I think I made the right choice. I don't know. With the NIL era now, can he come back and get some eligibility? Maybe. I'd be sick, dude. Now he's got kids thinking out there. Starting pitcher for the Aggies, Clayton Kershaw. You know, I'm just going to go all in on baseball.

You know, I'm just going to root for the Dodgers. I don't think, I don't think the Rangers are in a dog fight right now. They are. Yeah, they're playing better now. They have a chance. And, you know, obviously they got some injuries. They got some guys beat up over there. But they're starting to play better.

So they're right on the, they got some big games against the Astros and the Mariners coming up. So they have a chance for sure. Big time matchups. I actually got the pleasure of meeting Bruce Bochy a couple months back. And I was pretty audacious with this. but I told him if he needed an inning eater, you have a guy. I have the mental makeup of a multi-time Syung Award winner, but I just throw the fastball at about 65.

Yeah. So there's the problem there. But, yeah, so I'll keep the day job. Hey, how big is Boch's head? Isn't that thing incredible? Large, large. I mean, I was trying not to like just stare at the hat. I think he wears an eight and a half, yeah.

Eight and a half. Yeah, it's incredible. Large, dude. I'm a seven and a half, and I thought I had the biggest. in the world. Eight and a half. Eight and a half. I made that up.

I don't know for sure, but it's, it's big. It might actually be bigger than it. It could be floating around nine. Whenever you're matching like Jones's shoe size with a hat size, you got a pretty big dome. The podcast is called Almost Athletes.

We thought it was fitting. As Sparky says, he throws 65 miles an hour. I don't even think I can hit that, dude. I mean, so we're almost an athlete. Have you ever had a moment where you're like an athletic moment where you're like,

yeah, that I'm not going to, Can I ever do that again? The first thing that happened to me was basketball. So, you know, I was, you know, I've watched every episode that you guys have. My boys absolutely love Dude Perfect. And so we've seen everything. So all the different challenges, I kind of think about like, oh, man, could I do that?

Could I throw that? Could I hit that? And I'll tell you what, it's, it's been kind of a steep decline in the last few years. It really has. You know, I used to be able to dunk a basketball. I don't think I'm doing that anymore. You know, I used to be able to run a little bit, and I can't do that anymore. So just some of the, you know, athletic things day to day that, and my body's a little beat up, you know, baseball is. I've played baseball for a long time.

So I'm just working on throwing the baseball to the catcher every fifth day and then I'll figure everything else out when I retire. Maybe I need some putting tips. I need some golf tips for retirement when that happens. So I might come find you guys for that. Well, the way you're throwing the baseball, Clayton, that might be 20 years from now. I don't know. Have you seen how hard guys throw? I mean, it's incredible. Every guy out there is throwing 100 miles an hour.

It's amazing. Yeah. Speaking of, you know, retirement and kids, are we, are we like going all in on just being a dad? Are you going to maybe go into the coaching realm? No, I don't know, dude. I, you know, I think every offseason, you know, Ellen and I sit down and try to figure out the next year. We've done that for the last few years. Like, you know, we'll get through the season.

and figure out how everybody's doing and kind of go from there. So I'm sure we'll do that again this offseason, but I think the coaching stuff is so hard because you basically have the same travel schedule, you know, and I think at least for the first few years whenever I finish up, I just need to be home, man. I need to be with the kiddos. And I'm sure you guys feel that too with all the travel that you all do.

It's just like, it piles up. Yeah, piles up. Yeah, and especially we've got number five coming in December. So I'm going to be a great dad, be a stay-at-home dad for a while and love it. And then, you know, after a couple of years, we'll see what happens. I don't know. We Dallas through and through, like when the retirement happens? Are we going to be bouncing around?

No, I think we're Dallas, man. Our kids are in school in Dallas. And, you know, my wife, we all grew up there. My wife's whole family is in Dallas. So we've just got so many roots, man. And community is so important to us. And, I mean, you guys know, y'all are there. It's just such a great place to raise a family.

So that's where we'll be. Yeah. Well, easy to say that when you're out of state for most of the summer months. First Texas summer, you come back home, you're going to be like, oh, baby. I know. We are spoiled. We are so spoiled. We haven't had a Dallas summer in a while.

So, yeah, I mean, we could go on vacation still. We can go somewhere, right? And then figure it out. I don't think they'll be in Dallas on the summer. I wouldn't either, man. I'd get out of here. Got to ask you this now that you're accumulating kiddos. Number five, what is tougher?

Getting out of a bases loaded, no-out jam, or being a father of five? I feel like those are pretty comparable. Yeah, I'll let you know in December. You know, I think I was just starting to get a grasp on four. And now we're adding one to the brood. So I don't know, man. I mean, I know I know y'all. Spark, are you, are you kids yet?

Are you still? My PlayStation. I don't know. I know. I know everybody else does. She's fed and she gets all the attention she needs. But other than that, kid list, yeah. Okay.

Yeah. So I don't know. I think father of five is the is going to be more challenging. for sure. Yeah. I'll tell you what, actually, it sparked my mind here. My apartment complex, I'm going to throw some shade. This is completely off the wall. But they accused me two different times yesterday of owning a pet. And I don't own a pet. And I think that's me barking late at night at my MLB the show, MLB the show opponents. I think I'm being a little too loud. They think there's a dog. I think there's a rotweiler in there. Yeah, that is wild. What other hobbies are you

into? I don't have a ton of hobbies. I mean, it's basically baseball and dad. You know, I think that's And that's a good place to be. I think I will enjoy playing more golf. I like playing golf now. I just don't get to play too much. But I think golf could be a fun one. And I don't know if you guys have any suggestions. I'm open.

I don't have too much right now. That's actually a good one. Maybe he joins the squad. throws out an application, dude, perfect, joins the talent side. I would say, yeah. You know, D.P. Outdoors, him and Tyler. Sounds like they could make some magic there. I will say this.

The golf is going to be tough. is going to be tough for you in the stage you're about it and you're going right back into the into the infant stage so that will be a tough one for a while What about I was I've been thinking about this though you know how they have those like strollers

or the car seat stroller thing so you put you put a little girl we don't know name yet but put little girl in the stroller with the golf clubs in the back and you walk nine for a nap I mean that's that's multitasking at its finest because the other four are in school so I think I could pull that

Yeah, it's special. Yeah, you do have the school thing, yes. You're right. You could play during school. See, but now they're going to look up and they're going to say, hey, dad, well, you dropped out and it worked out for you, you know? That's dangerous. That's a slippery slope there.

He didn't drop out of high school. He didn't drop out of high school, man. I made it through. Yeah, yeah. He just, he, you know, just kind of put a pass on college, which, I mean, these day and age, like, fair. You can learn online pretty easy.

So, well, I think. Clayton's about three covers of first base away from maybe going back to school. It sounds like he's struggling to get over there to cover nowadays. Oh, man, I threw two nights ago. I'm in Pittsburgh right now. I threw two nights ago. Tommy Fam, big strong dude, hit one 111 miles per hour. And it was about this far from my face.

And thankfully, my glove was like right there. But somehow I caught it, but it was either that or my face. I think the ball caught you. I saw that clip. I think that ball caught you. 100%, dude. It was a scary moment. Do you think about that like every pitch you throw?

No. It doesn't cross your mind. Yeah, I mean, it wouldn't, I wouldn't be very successful. I don't think if I just thought about getting hit in the face every throw. I don't think that would work. Adult men's softball league, dude, just lobbing those up. The only thing I'm thinking of is like, oh boy, this thing is coming right back at me. Yeah, that's the same.

That and what we do is the same. So that makes sense. Yeah, men softball. professional baseball seem about it's accurate. Everybody hits the ball. It's a below of 110 nowadays, right? Do you ever miss hitting? I do.

I miss taking batting practice. Hitting's too hard. I think hitting a baseball is potentially the hardest thing to do in sports. My son was, we were in Cincinnati, and Charlie was with me at the field, and we were shagging batting practice, and he was like, dad, do you ever hit anymore? I was like, I mean, I used to take batting practice all the time, and he said, did you ever hit Homer? just in BP?

I was like, oh, yeah, I could do that right now. if you wanted me to. And he said, no, you couldn't do that. And so I was like, all right. So I went and took a couple rounds of BP and Sensi. And I got a couple out. And I think Charlie was way more proud of me for that than any pitching thing I've ever done. He was so proud of me to be able to hit a homer. It was pretty cool. How many big league ding-dongs do you have? I just got one. I just got one home. Okay. Got on the board. I know. It was actually opening day, 2013 was the only homer I hit. And I'm glad I got one at least, you know. I got one. dude right well now now you're a dying breed there's not i know many positions you know pitchers out

there who left the yard so it works out for us though it works out for us though because you know we have dhs now and we have a pretty good d h in show hey so it works out never heard of them who's that that ball he hit to right in pittsburgh the other night the 120 x dude i was actually at a ranger game when he was with the halos and was lucky enough to be about four rows behind the plate and Clayton when I tell you I'm sure you've heard the noise when he barreled one up into the gap at 118 I had never heard a crack of the bat sound like that before it sounded like a 12 gauge went off and I'm looking at my friends like did y'all hear that did you all that's different man is he really is he really is it's been fun to be a teammate and now that he's pitching again

to kind of see him do both is it's amazing it really is I mean you can't I mean it's what we try to do in Little League, but to do it out here at this level is just incredible. And make it look easy too. Yeah, glad he's on your team and you're not having to face him. No doubt. No doubt. Do you have a favorite away park you like to throw in? Yeah, I've got some favorites. You know, Pittsburgh's actually a really cool backdrop if you've ever seen this like downtown. Yeah, it's like, you know, they filmed Reacher here and they filmed one of the Batman's here too. So every time I walk by the bridge, I think about that. But I never pitched good here. Pittsburgh, I've never pitched good here in my life. So it's not,

it's not on the top of the list for me. I really enjoy Milwaukee. Actually, Milwaukee's a fun place to pitch. Okay. Wow. You just, just the setting, you feel really close to the hitter. And so that's, that's nice. I don't know why that is. You just kind of feel like you're right on top of the guy. And then I like city field too. Pitching in New York is fun. It's just you got the New York vibe and it's a good environment and, you know, just good crowds. Dodgers Mets is always fun. So I, I think two are probably my two favorite yeah uh weird you didn't throw in the old trop in there in tampa i think that's doesn't everybody just love that place i was waiting on it i was late on the drop it's a good place to pitch actually the environment at times is lacking but it's a it's a

good place to pitch i mean how about this year we played in their the yankee spring training when we played Tampa and i've never sweated more in my entire life it was just it's definitely needs an indoor stadium there i was dripping you know ball flies out of that yard too yeah it's little it is little for sure. Well, the NL in general, the National League feels like it's as loaded as I've ever seen it personally. You've got the Brewers obviously surprising people in the Central. The West, y'all are in is just absolutely loaded. What about the competition? We're about to face come postseason time, man. Yeah, I mean, we got, it's crazy that the season's winding down, but I agree. I think the National League's got a lot of good teams. Everybody's kind of had their

moments this year where they've struggled. And I think we're kind of, we're kind of in that same boat. So nobody's really pulled away from the pack. Obviously, the Brewers have played unbelievable the last six weeks or so. So yeah, I mean, you got Brewers, Phillies, Mets, Padres, Cubs, you know, all these, all these teams are really solid. So it's just going to be about who, you know, gets hot at the right time. And that's just what the playoffs are, you know. So we got to worry about winning a division first. The Padres are kind of right on our tails. So we got to get going here next few weeks and I think we will. We got some guys coming back, guys throwing the ball well. So it should be a fun month. Yeah, it's probably really easy to get giddy this time of year

with the postseason arriving. How much different though is postseason baseball compared to the grind of the 162? Obviously shorter leashes for the pitchers and that sort of thing. But how much different is postseason to regular season? Yeah. I mean, it's yeah, when you play it a six month's season, and it is like a marathon, you know, and it's just kind of survival of the fittest. And usually the best teams kind of survive that, you know, and they always, you know, it comes back to the whole aggregate and whoever has the best team usually ends up winning over the course of 162.

And the postseason, man, it's just a sprint. And it's kind of a crapshoot, you know, it's like whoever, whoever is hot at the right time. And, you know, it's just a, it all comes down to a five or seven game series. So anything can happen in those. And that's what makes baseball great, though. It's a fun thing. And, you know, I'll miss it.

I've been fortunate to be in the postseason a lot. And it's just been, you know, for better, for worse, I wouldn't change the thing, man. It's where you want to be. So it's pretty special. You ever sit back and just reminisce on like where you are? I mean, 3,000 strikeouts, all the accolades, World Series champ and be like, how did I get here?

I've started to a little bit more. Just as, you know, you can kind of get older and, you know, see the finish line as closer than it used to be. I think you just look back and honestly, it's super grateful, but also a little bit humbled, you know, because a lot of things are just kind of part of God's timing. Like, I got drafted by the Dodgers, you know, like how could that, like, I got to be here for 18 years? Just so many things that are out of your control, which is, which is super humbling. And then you just, you become super thankful and grateful to get to be a part of playing baseball for this long.

And, yeah, man. So I've been a little bit more reflective. I try not to be just because, you know, you got to focus on that next start every time. But it's been such a special season for me personally to get to be healthy again and be back out there and get to share with my family and kiddos is, yeah, just so much gratitude. It's just been amazing. I'm sure dude perfect's the same way out from your first trick shot in college station to where you are now. I think it's probably very similar.

Yeah, no, I mean, do you ever sit back and reflect? I mean, yeah, because I had a other job before this and I was like, man, what if I was still doing that job, man? Life would be different. Yeah, I reflect too. Sometimes I think, man, I messed up that craftier. Man, I'm still stuck on zero battle wins. I'm struggling over here. No, it is. It's just crazy. Like, I mean, just being fathers, like, trying to tell your kids, like, you know, dream big. But, you know, to sit back, I never would have dreamed. I would be, I mean, I didn't even, YouTube wasn't even around when I was a kid. So it's hard to, you know, dream to be a YouTuber.

But, I mean, it is weird to think back of, like, all the accomplishments. And we both been super blessed for sure. It was very, very dirk-esque of you, Clayton, to, you know, to team you were drafted by, obviously, a DFW boy. I'm sure you got the utmost respect for 41. Is there an athlete out there that growing up you kind of idolized or seen as your hero?

Dirk's a great one. I've gotten to meet. I've gotten to meet Dirk and he's just he's the best. Like that's what you strive to be, you know, as like a, as just like an athlete. I think he did everything the right way. And yeah, growing up in Dallas,

huge mass fans. So Dirk was right up there. I worked. number 22 because of Will Clark. Will Clark was my guy. First base one for the Rangers. I played first base. Yeah, when I wasn't pitching. So Will Clark was kind of my guy.

And I got to meet him a few years ago and talk with him. And so that was pretty cool too. To get to meet those guys is awesome. Yeah, colorful, animated Will Clark. I'm sure he's got some story. Yeah, he's got some story. He definitely is colorful. Calls it as he sees it, though.

And I can respect that. Yeah, no doubt. No doubt. Well, it's been an honor, guys. Thank you for having me for your first one. Very appreciative to get the invite. Well, we're cheering for you. Thanks for taking the time.

Good luck to rest of the season. We're cheering for you, dude. And go win a World Series. All right. Thank you, guys. It's been a blast. We'll see you all in Dallas soon. Man, Sparks, I thought Clayton's a great dude.

Better than Tyler. We're going to bring on Kobe. This is a time where I thought we could, you know, really open up behind the scenes. Oh, pull the curtain back. Yeah, pull the curtain back on Dude Perfect, kind of all things. I thought maybe because it is our first podcast, maybe a dude perfect first theme. So, you know, first video, first million subs. First twin. First twin.

First twin. First time we announced who Panda is. So yeah, anybody's welcome Kobe. Hey guys. To the pod. Good to be here. The vibe's great in here. Yeah. I said earlier, I think we out kicked our coverage on the set. The set's so good. I think the set's better than the actual content.

It's definitely better than anything I've contributed. Yeah. So just want to let you know, you were. The second round, the second draft pick here. Really? Yeah. I mean, it was tie, then you. Whoa.

All things considered, though, like being in front of your brother and codes. Like, it's not the end of the world. Think how they're going to feel when they come on the show. And we're like, hey, Corey. If they come on there. You might be multiple appearances deep before Corey gets on. Look, we read the comments. It was Ty and Kobe.

I didn't see one Corey Cody. Yeah, and that's something. I also read the comments, Kobe, and there's a perfect time, actually, to give you the stage. Oh, yeah. Dude, people have been critical of your hair. Critical. Critical. Not one of those.

They say, they basically say the age and the hair don't match. I've seen a lot of, uh-huh. Well, they're right about that. A lot of honk, you're too old, that kind of talk. I need to go start responding to some of these people individually and ask for just some more detail. What I love about you, though, Kobe, is you brush that full pun intended to the side and just eat it.

You eat it, and you stay true to yourself. Where are we headed with the hair? I think that anybody who has been critical. should understand that my wife has felt the exact same way. Really? They, I mean, you guys are not alone.

There we go. See, this felt like a wife. First of all, I can't be critical. Oh, no, no, no,

no, no, Aubrey. We cannot be critical. We're not critical. We're not critical. We're not critical. No, listen,

I appreciate, I appreciate the honesty there. My wife is, she's not supportive of it. She would love it for the community to bully me into changing it. I think, well, they're trying.

Or I can't wait to go read some of these. Well, first of all, these might be wife burner accounts. Whoa, what a thought, dude. She's playing chess. Dude, I have no idea. That's genius, my name.

That'd be crazy. That'd be crazy. So we're still going to rock it, though. For now. Oh, yeah, for the foreseeable future, absolutely. Foreseeable future, okay. I'll keep you guys posted. Man, I didn't really spend any time on it today.

I feel like I should have done some work if this was going to be a topic of discussion, but. Yeah, I kind of threw that on. No, I did. I mean, look, it is what it is. It's mediocre. Yeah, it's just where we are right now. Mm-hmm. Well, just like we just love, what do people say, man?

It's, you're making the headlines. I just love that it's being talked about. Well, yeah, your topic of discussion. Yeah, that's better than crickets. Just like your hair and it's big news and it's, you know, we got some big things going on at DP. Do we? Yeah. Like what?

And again, we did just launch a podcast. True. Our launching an outdoor channel, but movie premiere, I hesitate to call the movie. How would you describe it? It's in the movies. It's in the movie theater. To watch it. Tell them about it.

Tell them about it. Gary, you're right. We have been busy. Got some exciting stuff. This is definitely one of them. We've always wanted to launch something in the movie theater. And this year, we went on the hero tour and it was awesome. I would say it was one of our best ones. It's not our best tour yet. Over 200,000 people came out, 21 sold out shows. It was really, really awesome, super cool experience. But the biggest feedback that we get is like, hey, guys, you didn't come to my city. And so we've always tried to figure out, like, how could we solve for that? We could, like, post it like a little recap online. but that's not very fun. So what we decided as a team was we wanted to put together the full tour experience and bring it to movie theaters all across the country.

And so yeah, I think we're in over a thousand movie theaters for one week. And so yeah, we're really pumped about it. It's the hero tour with some other cool scenes cut in that people even that went to the tour

wouldn't know. And yeah, I've already seen a cut of it and I'm really proud of it. I think it's gonna be awesome and hopefully you guys can find a movie theater wherever you live and come check it out.

Yeah, I think it goes live September 26th. September 26th. We're also filming with I Show Speed. He's coming down to the HQ. We got a little athletic gauntlet we're going to put him through. That'll be fun. That sounds like a Garrett injury waiting to happen. The dude's a beast, man.

Oh, he is. No doubt. No doubt. We're also filming with Kai Mafiathon 3. Whoa. Yeah, we're going out to L.A. Look at us and the streamers. We're going to L.A., really.

I felt like we got to get on the streaming thing since we got to pause. now, you know, we really got to... Hang, we really are busy. We got to dive deep into that community. That'll be cool. So I thought we had some fun today. First podcast. Mm-hmm.

We brought you on to maybe talk a little bit about dude perfect firsts. Wow. I think we go deep here. I did find an email the other day from me to the other four dudes. I mean, it was a four-pager back in college. I mean, it was, I should find it. I don't think you guys would be interested, but it was, I don't even know how I went that long. Good news is we can throw it in chat GPT and it can spit me out three bullet points.

Get me a summary of Kobe's four. pager. Can you summarize it? What was it about? I'm just interested that why you four-paged them. I honestly don't know. I was, I don't know. I'll have to find it. This was months ago I saw it. Look, here's the deal. Back in the day, it was you and Corey running the gig. I mean, we all... We were delusional. We were sitting at our parents' kitchen in Austin. We'd graduated y'all, yeah, y'all had full-time jobs. Like the mature adults you were, you were either engaged or already married at that point, and Corey and I were just bootstrapping this sucker Monday through Friday at our parents' kitchen.

and we felt the potential. With duct tape and glue. Duck tape and glue. And Corey, Corey was doing whatever he was doing, writing a book. I was working on the iPhone game. Those were the early days.

Dude, now that you say your parents' kitchen table, I remember first time I ever logged on to YouTube. I didn't even know what it was. Yeah. At your parents' kitchen table, you showed me Jenna Marbles video.

Dude, 100%. I remember going to Vidcom. in the early days. And I think it was, I Justinine. It was like, I Justine, mystery guitar man, Jenna Marbles. I remember seeing them in person and being like. What about Fred? What about Fred?

Yeah. Harley Mealt, Epic. Epic Mealtime. Man, they paved the way. Gosh, they were just a little too early. We're going to talk about first. We should talk about the first HQ. Yeah.

HQ one. Well, I remember we toured a few different places. We were going to be in cubicles and we were like, she doesn't feel right. You went to that one place and we were like, ah, that didn't. We almost signed. We almost signed a crazy deal. We almost signed. It was the craziest landlord.

Do you remember that? I do. I can picture him. Yeah. And he was like, dude, you got to be on the billboard. You're out here. And he's like, we almost signed it. And then just we're like,

that doesn't feel right. That was one to trust your gut on them. We did well there. What was the final story on ending up on Main Street? Well, we loved the frozen yogurt place across the street. Double-diff.

Double-dip, baby. Wild reasoning to office up there. Oh, it's a yogurt store? You don't understand how good it was. It better be the best yogurt you ever laid lips on. It got demoed for this new development over there, and the whole city was up in arms. I mean, it was like a lifeblood of the community type place.

It was. Checkered floor. Did you have like a fast pass to cut lines? No, I didn't see the incentive of being across the street. Was it back when Frisco was not even like, no one even cared about Friscoe, dude. Yeah, true. It's gotten big. We're too big for its purchase.

It has. It has. It's, it's. And there's like what? Now there's not even like a... We overpay. We signed, it was $5,500. a month. I remember it because like...

That was irresponsible of us. It was, dude, we didn't have $5,500 month. I'll say that. I wouldn't. And we signed it and it was, it was 5,000 square feet and we're like, we don't need this space, but we're going all in. And, dude, a week after he signed that sucker, whistle sports. Whistle sports signed our first multimillion dollar deal.

Wow. Right there. And then I was like, man, we got a couple years. I think we can make it. We're going to go a couple years from this. believe it. You thought like three years max, like an NFL running back kind of lifespan. If you would, if you would account how many times I doubted dude perfect to make it. I'm not sure Garrett quit when everybody else did. I think he still had that job

lined up at the architect. Bro, I literally told my guy when I quit. I was like, hey, I'll be back in December. I'll be back in December. Keep my job. I'm just doing this. The guys want us all to quit. I got to do this. I'll be back in December. Don't hire, don't hire my spot out. Incidentally, the electric bill for H. Q3 is now $5,500 a month. Oh, I hate hearing that. That is a significant electric bill. And I still don't contribute to any of that. Thank goodness. I actually got a story from the first office. We were hanging a long time ago, man. And I went next door. You know, there was the gas station. Oh yeah. And it was like the El Hancho, I think was the burrito name. And I doubled down on the El Hancho.

And you were in the toilet. Oh, my goodness. That was a laxative. Whoa. That was a first time of that office. All I can remember is blowing it up. Oh, no. The smell from that gas station would stick with you as well. But dude, we didn't have any kids back then? That's the life, man. We had, you got, you weren't married. No? Dude, we hung out. We were at that office.

All the time. All the time. I mean, until like midnight. Part of me is happy. Y'all kind of buttoned it up, you know, but more than I was also kind of wondering, you know, I wonder what it would be like with y'all with no kids. I don't think I'd like y'all as much, to be honest. You know?

I was trying to think. of other places where the smell sticks to you. That's where my brain went. All subs. Like what's like the top draft pick on that? Like Subway, I think Subway has a very distinct smell. But that's like a, you could, that's like a men's cologne to some people. I love a good subway. Smelliest dude,

go, just get it out in front. And this is one guy. It has to be. Out of the five of us? Cody. No. I actually don't immediately have a strong tie. To me, it's tie. Well, he has really strong cologne. What do you mean? Where's cologne every day? Well, it's like a tin sprayer. It's probably me. It's like a cloud. It's like a cloud. It's like a

A cloud of cologne. It's over. It's too much. It's middle school locker room. My wife makes me use that like natural deodorant. He has ax vibes sometimes in the fact that like, you know, a middle school locker room that was so strong of a smell. He just coats him.

Say winter coats himself. It's a little pungent. And then like you got to talk about the tour bus. Dude. Like you cannot tell me Tyler doesn't smell unless you're on a tour bus. You know the craziest take Ties ever made is the big soap. We got to save this for when he's. here. He's got to be able to defend himself.

We'll talk about that. But Ty may or may not use soap in the shower. This is like the name of a future episode. This is so significant. First, full-time employee just recently celebrated 10 years at DP, Chad Terrell. Wow, 10 years? For y'all who, if you've stuck around DP,

you know Chad, editor Chad, wives versus Chad. He came into the office full suit. It wasn't our first employee. Full suit for his interview. You do know that's not a first. Toby. Well, I know, but we're talking about first employees. Was Toby full time? Sean? Toby was our full time

and he was our first fire. Toby has both accolades to his name. Great guy still. I still think of him really fondly. Obviously not. I remember dude, I didn't want to be a part of that firing. I skipped it. I was like, dude, I can't do it. I'm too... He kind of opted out also. He almost quit. He almost quit himself.

That makes it easy. It was pretty mutual, I think. Would you opt out if I was getting canned? Just wondering. Like if you go, I go type of time? Would you be present and be like, no, I can't? can't do that. Yeah, I wouldn't be there. Respect. Oh, I thought you meant like, if you got fired, would I quit?

Would you? Like that serious. I would not. I don't think. That's pretty serious. That's tough, dude. I would lose my co-host. Yeah, I might have to quit. I knew it. Yeah. That's why we're hosting. Yeah. I'm not having it like that. Y'all could still do the podcast if y'all both quit. You can't teach chemistry like that?

No. First video failure. I know. I think I know it. You know it? Define failure like the video itself didn't do well or something terrible that happened. while we were filming. I think it terrible. I think of it Tys Ranch when we broke the windshield. Oh. We were.

That actually, sometimes people ask me, is there a trick shot y'all have tried that you didn't complete and you bailed? And honestly, the only one I can ever think of

is this one. There is no footage of this because it didn't end up happening. But the truck is in the first video. But we're at Tyler's Family's Ranch. We have the idea to use a slingshot. Yeah. And we have a built-in fantastic way

to hold a slingshot. because you have Corey and I who are identical people. So we're holding it out with our perfectly outstretched arms standing up on the sides of his truck. I'm on the left side. Corey's on the right side. Ty is a main guying it in the back with the actual slingshot. And he leans back and he launches it.

And we did that a few times. And on the third or fourth try, I would tell you that Tyler lifted it too high. He would tell you that the twins did something wrong. Sure. He is wrong about this. My memory on this is crystal clear. Tyler messes that up,

launches the basketball directly into the back of his own truck bed, and it shatters the glass on the back of his truck. And that was that. And we didn't power through it. We didn't say... Walked off the T-box? That was just it. Yeah, when you selfie shatter your own back window,

like, yeah, it's probably time to call it a day. I'd love Ty's take on that. Did y'all help build the slingshot anyway? That's not the kind of thing I would do. Okay, because if y'all did help build it, then I would probably be on Ty side of things. No. If you were able to watch the tape back,

I think it'd be clear that was on tie. Tyler, he just didn't want it to admit it. That's a tough day. When you do it to your own vehicle, like that, that's the thing. That's parallel parking and you smoke up, you know, a concrete thing. There's nobody else to blame.

It's your own car. See, I went with first video failure as the Fire Edition. Oh, well, that's the on, you know. Yeah, that's on the editors, man. We filmed the whole video. It was great. I mean, we probably would have gotten deemed pyros, but I don't know.

It was pretty good content. Filled the whole video. Stayed up all night doing it. Lit fire. Lit basketballs on fire. It was sick looking. Editors, erased the whole thing. Yeah, this is like two years in. It is early, early, early.

We thought this was going to be our big one. Wow. And I remember, Chad came to us, and he was distraught. Well. And he said, something along the lines of, I accept my resignation. Yeah.

And delivered the information that they had put new footage on top of all of Fire Edition. As brutal. And I remember we were like, I think we thought it was an April Fool's joke at first because we were pretty sad. Did it line up in April? It didn't, I don't think it.

Well, you know, me in details. Try to forget that night, man. Yeah. That sounds rough. Is that the... We told him we love him and that he's our guy and we're sticking with him. You doubled down on them.

And I didn't want you. You ought to ask him if we said that in the moment. So is that? And then they framed it. They framed the memory card. I was about to ask because the editors have the frame memory card and says never again. Never again. And they hung it outside.

I've never heard the backstory on that. Yeah, there you go. Whoa. Yeah. So Chad T. He should be eating his lucky charms every day. I'm sure it was a lucky young man. Was it just Chad?

It was. Could Tim have been? Well, if he's solo riding, then you have to have something. I actually don't know. I know. I know. I remember he doesn't go that far back. Whoa.

baby. That's my first time. That one got me badly. I wasn't ready for that. That's a little aggressive. I think we should adjust that. That is a two minute warning, which means me and Sparky get 60 seconds uninterrupted. To really say what's on our minds. Spark, do you want to go first? Sure. Yeah, I've got something. I'm sick and tired of preseason rankings in the college scene. They're useless. They set up bad takes later in the season. There's just no reasoning for it is my take. You have teams in the top 10, then you refer to a top 10 win later in the year. But if Syracuse wins, you know what I mean? So it's just very convoluted in there. And it's just unnecessary more than anything. And I know numbers drive TV and that kind of thing. But like South Florida, for example, this week should be top 10. They have two ranked wins, you know?

So it's like, I don't know. You pick and choose. It's useless to me. You like no rankings. I like no rankings until about week six. Let's get something on the resume before we just... Interesting. Auto put teams into the top suit.

Mine's a similar rant. It's in the sports world. I'm sick and tired. I am sick and tired of refereeing. Oh, goodness. If you know Gary, he... I'm sick and tired of it. The discrepancy is absolutely, it's disgusting.

Cross all sports? Well, tennis did it right. Went full robotic. Yep. They never have it. I mean, you can't challenge it. It's like, dude, it's literally. hit the liner it didn't

for us not to even have the umpire in the baseball where when you're calling a game that matters and the ball's a foot off the plate and they call a strike that that guy doesn't deserve to have a job that's your job that's why you're there and why do I always have to sit on TV and call a hold and I'm sitting on TV I'm watching

and it's right in front of the guy I yelled it last night it's right in front of them you've never missed a call I've never missed a call and I never will and if I was a referee that would be my model I wouldn't never miss a call. You've been hanging on to that hot take for a long time. I'm sick and tired of it. Go robotic.

Garrett is very anti-referee. In fact, he don't even step foot in a foot locker because you can't even see stripes. Yeah. Leaves favorite animal, zebra. Yeah. You've always had a little distaste that are awful.

It looks like our time is up here. We'll be back next Wednesday. Follow us on all social media channels. Watch us on YouTube at almost athletes. Look, we're new here. We're open to the critique. If I could sway the audience, look, we need reviews.

I'll personally read them. So, uh, leave us a review. Tell us what you want to see. Talk about next time. Let me see your opinion on the haircut. You know, I personally, I personally would go five stars. It is a free country though. So, uh, but five star review would be, uh, we'd be, much appreciated.

Much appreciated. Yeah, much appreciated. Look, almost athletes with Dude Perfect is a wave original presented by Connect 4 frenzy. Get caught in a frenzy. I just think it feels like, like a much. Mike, we killed that. Yeah. We need to go watch film, though.

We need to critique ourselves. Be better next week. Oh, dude, we'll definitely watch film. Like I said, we out kicked our coverage on the set. We got room to improve. But maybe just leave us a five-star review anyways. Five-star reviews get a golden-doodle giveaway. Wow.

You heard it here first. All right, pound it. Noggin. See ya. See ya.