Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect - Dude Perfect REVEALS Crazy Back-to-School Stories + Guess NFL Madden Covers Game

Episode Date: August 19, 2026

The Dudes are BACK at Dude Perfect HQ for SEASON 2! To kick things off, in honor of Madden 27, the guys put their Madden knowledge to the test and try to guess what year some of the most iconic Madden covers came out. Then it’s time for some back-to-school stories with 2 Truths & a Lie. Did Cody actually play the trombone? Did Sparky really lock himself in a locker? You’ll have to watch to find out! And to wrap things up, the Dudes catch up on the latest NFL news and share their safest fantasy football picks to help you get ready for the upcoming football season. Season 2 is officially underway — let’s go! Chapters: 00:00 Tyler & Cody Introduction 01:20 Dudes Check In 18:00 Guess NFL Madden Covers Game 31:21 Two Truths And A Lie 50:25 Topical Sports 01:00:50 Safest Fantasy Picks Shop the official Dude Perfect jerseys now on http://dudeperfect.store! If you’ve got a question, hot take, or your own Almost Athlete moment, head to AlmostAthletes.com or call [phone]. Upload your own fan fails here: https://new.myharbourshare.com/agree/gSttAsmDbo6vYCfm3HBdjh?fbclid=PARlRTSARDo7VleHRuA2FlbQIxMABzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA8xMjQwMjQ1NzQyODc0MTQAAafRqYdnXc6xTmfPMNERbnp5yfF-BqLSY3NCu2GQZSehgOTgD69fSBeTqTcAQg_aem_RWLUmW87bcZIif3zTrWKBg Learn More about the newly designed 2027 Chrysler Pacifica at https://www.chrysler.com Visit https://applegiftcard.apple.com to gift one today BODYARMOR FLASH I.V. provides faster, longer-lasting hydration for when you’re depleted. Get yours at your local 7-Eleven today. This Summer, Find More Than What You’re Looking For On Facebook Don’t wait to stock up on your favorites at GNC — the sale won’t last long Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/mar90qgg #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. #almostathletes #dudeperfect #school ▶ Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@almostathletes?sub_confirmation=1 🎧 Listen anywhere: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/almost-athletes-with-dude-perfect/id1834502483 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/55gaQm31JIbp6td7QtYsPU Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is (almost) a sports podcast. Co-hosted by Garrett Hilbert and Sparky, with the rest of the Dudes, their wives, and the DP crew popping in throughout the weeksports takes, celebrity guests, athlete interviews, fan voicemails, and the kind of chaos you'd expect from the Dude Perfect family. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Go Big and God Bless Pound it 👊🏻 Noggin 🙇🏻‍♂️ - Dude Perfect Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get your tickets now for the dog stars. It's no surprise how fast civilization can disappear. Go! Out there, just kill or be killed. Jacob Alluredi. There are people out there. They need our help. Josh Boulin.

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shot my brother Chase with the BB gun and the BB stuck in his leg. That's a true story. That was last week. Played the trombone for a year. That's sixth grade. That one I don't know yet. Yeah, you have trombone tendencies, so I could actually see that. And then number two's the lie.

And then when we were in Colorado, I was in the car and my mom hit a bear. No, it's number two. You didn't play no trombone. You have no musical instrument in your body. Your mom is too good of a driver and lady. She's not hitting. to a grizzly bear. I'm going to say that's the lie. Okay, the lie.

Welcome to Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect, a Wave original. Follow the show on all social media at Almost Athletes. Like and subscribe to us on YouTube or listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast. This episode is brought to you by Chrysler. We're your host, and there's a lot of them. I'm Garrett. I'm Spark.

I'm Cody. I actually thought Ty should have been 30. I agree. Why? He's a corner guy. He's a four-hole cleanup guy. You're a three-hole. Okay. You hit for average. I'm Ty.

There we go. I'm good. There we go. Yeah. Sorry. You know, we're coming off a long tour, a long summer. Yeah. You guys feel rested.

I actually, this is going to be crazy. I think I'm the only one that misses it out of you guys. I want to go back. Loved it. Loved every bit of it. Really? Yeah. No sleep part did kill me a little bit.

I think it aged 10 years. But there was something nice about kind of just beating all the opponents. 18 and 4? it was nice which is me and I talked about it before the first ever show I said what's that number of losses you said 184 yeah

he said four losses and I said yep that's probably it boom I wish it was only three that one of the bananas hurt I just lost it earned it though I just watched coach racks behind the scenes it's a good video it was a good video but I hated at the end of it

like oh by the way we beat him on the last one after the bell jab yeah yeah dude I needed that break though if you would have told me I had to go back last Monday we'd have been in a deep trouble. Yeah, if we had another five-leger. Another five-leggard would have been tough. I even rolled in a little late today.

A little late today. A little bit of seven back in Starbucks drive-through. Dude. I know. I know. I'm not. I was my first day back. I don't understand why you waste your money when you have a coffee bar in your office. That's a really good point, Garrett. You make zero sense sometimes. Yeah. Cody, you want to apologize?

I'm sorry? Yeah, thank you. For what? You were just launching my naval team-issued football around. It's yours and it's not. This was given to me by the Naval Academy. Practically a purple hard here, brother. And you're just don't it around like it's not my prize treasure.

Sparky does have the best throwing football in the office and I grab it at least once a week and I throw it at a hoop to see if I make a trick shot and I missed and I did not go collect it. The best throwing football. I took that as the best thrower of the football. I was like, wow, that was nice. Can I see how throwball it is? She's a little deflated to Tom Brady's liking.

That's way too deflated. You can get some thumb. You can get some thumb into that. Yeah, that's too deflated. I do like the blue laces, though Yeah, it's nice Navel, it's just teamish It's a little square

Boys, gosh, it's good to be crazy Almost, what's there? What do you mean? Yeah, there's games on my season I don't care. There's people hitting each other. That's all that matters, dude. Cold weather's coming.

Yeah, well, maybe not. It's like 103 tomorrow, I think. It's like heat and heat advisory for Texas tomorrow, August, whatever it is. Well, you knew it's super oldino. Is it? Yeah.

Does that mean it's going to be hot? It means we're going to have a wet winter, but fall is going to be pretty scorchy, according to the farmer's almanac. So buckle in. It's not done anytime soon. Bo season's going to be so hot. Yeah, dude, you're going to be over the swatting in shorts and, dude, the chiggers are going to be everywhere. I got chicked. Dude, I'm chigged up again.

The last time I was here I was chigged up. They're going to be everywhere in both seasons. I wouldn't put out trail cams and I mean, I got chit. Oh, dude. How's the was the wasps? I got smoked in a s. Yeah, what was that about? I heard rumors of it. I was setting up a cam at the new property,

and I was all jazzed up because I've seen some bucks out there. And I go out there, and I'm like, there's just one branch that I got to chop down. And I had my brand new DPO Montana knife machete. And I was like, this thing just feels nice. And I was like, I'm going to film like a little short for him. While I'm out here chopping this branch, and I go take the first hack and literally feels like something's just burning in the side of my head.

And so I took off running. And I figured I got bit or stung by something. and I went back. You hit yourself with the knife. No, I chopped the branch. There's a giant paper wasps mess. I have a couple of those. They live in like juniper trees and stuff, dude.

It's crazy. On the sting rating, and it only goes up to four. I don't get that. Why is the sting rating only go up to four? I don't know, but it's a very painful sting. Not away from the most. I agree with you. I don't understand the rating systems.

Like, we either are all at 100 or we're not. Or 10. But why four? It just doesn't make any sense. What's the earthworks? Rickter scale. What's that? I don't think that measures lost things. Yeah, but didn't it like five?

No, it's numbers. I think it goes up to 10. Does it? Really? Yeah, do you have like a 9 point something? No. I don't think there's ever been. There's never been a 9.

It's like a 7. There's never the high 9. It's like a 7-5 to be honest, but I don't know my history like Sparky does. I think it only goes up to 7. It goes up to 10. You just don't want to see it that high. Jared Hugh Check, Rickter scale.

What does it go up to? So football scores are history? 100%. It's, they're having yesterday? Everyone should study up on the past Super Bowl champion. It's history. That should be taught in school. Yeah, you got a point.

What does it go up to? 10. Oh, does not go to 10? 3? Minus 3? Google's even confused. That shows you that we are in a rough spot. I think it's seven, guys.

I think I might have just done something here. There is. Right there. The Richter's skill. Scroll down, first link. Yeah, the heart of the largest ever recorded was a 9-5. 9-5. 9-5.

And. a magnitude 10 generally is considered impossible under normal conditions. Nothing is impossible. Can't even figure out. The rating scale is a little off, is all we're saying. Sparks, what do we got coming up, dude?

That's a good question, Gary. It's almost football season, and we are pumped. We're going to talk about the NFL training camp fantasy football, and it's also back to school time, so we're going to share some of our most embarrassing school stories. But first, it's officially season two of our podcast, which I didn't know was a thing. No way!

What does that mean? What does that mean? I don't know. It took 10 years of the overtime season two. Yeah. It means that we are old. Picked a date and said it's starting to season two. Are we a year in?

Very close. So we're 48 episodes in, which is a season. Yeah. Who decides the season is. Not sure why it's not 52. It's a weird scale. It's a fresh fall, too. Do we release on Christmas week?

That's the only week we didn't. Well, that there had to be two others. There was two others. Correct. If there was 48. We did like best of episode Welcome to season two Yeah, baby

Guys, we made it We made it So thank you all for watching and listening Thank you for coming to tour too Yeah Favorite city if you had to pick one Can't pick any Texas shows Knoxville

Yeah It was Josh that was live I did enjoy the last show with Tebow Because it was just completely rogue I mean we went so off script It wasn't even funny They were freestiling up there Yeah

So you're going on last show What about you codes What was the one with Big Ben? It wasn't Pittsburgh. It was Hershey. Hershey, yeah. He was great. He was good one.

That was a good. That was a good battle too. That was down the wire. That was Dads, man. Greatest arch of all time. Yeah. I thought we were just going to kind of go 4-0 on them suckers. That was a good battle.

You predicted that every night. Yeah, you've been on 4-0 most nights. I was disappointed in our team. No sweeps. Good competitive series back and forth, both ways. My favorite was Dallas. Zach King ripping y'all's hearts out in front of your kids. You just said it couldn't be a Texas show.

No, and it definitely. definitely was not my favorite. That was actually really sad. Watching the Tony boys, I was like, man, who, dad's got some explaining to do. Yeah. Especially for you to be a bow guy. And it came down to bow, and you get Zach King. And the magic guy beat you. Did you have the, did you have bo yips?

I've heard some people say that. Oh, that's a rumor. Did you have bo yips? No. Do you still have them, Tom? Are you carrying bow yips into the fall? No. It feels a little insecure.

I need to make, I think Todd's got to go prove to me that he doesn't have bo yips. Great. I'll go prove to me. I don't know where we're going to do this, but it's going to be fun. I don't think Ackerman's going to help with those either. Oh, yes? What rumor is that flying around? A bunch of rooney deer running around this year and Sadler.

That stinks. Also, golly. I guess season two couldn't get us AC in this building. It is hot. Yeah, but it was cold out there, so I'm actually kind of feeling good right now. You were cold out there? Yeah, the tent variance in the office hadn't been fixed. In fact, it's gotten worse.

Scary. What are you going to say, Sparks? I was going to talk about some of the things y'all did, because I didn't do Jack and my time off, boys, rested. I didn't have any time off. That was kind of your own undoing, though. I went to Alaska with Lincoln. I was so jealous.

Tell me a little about it because I've been wanting to hear, but I've been holding off. You know, I am probably going to leave D.P. And go start a fly fishing channel. That's amazing. There you have it. Can I do it too? Yeah, oh yeah, come on, dude.

Once a year. Yeah, I just, the fly fishing, I got to say, that is, why did I wait 39 years? do that. There's a lot of hobbies I've wasted my time on and boy I wish I was filling them with fly fishing. So you're addicted. I agree with you. Dude, I'm addicted. I'm straight addicted. I already told Kristen this is going to be at least a $20,000 hobby. Oh, rare. Oh, well, yeah, that's just to buy the gear. The trips on top of that or another 20. Will you tie your own flies? I have tied my own fly already on video. Now I don't know how to do it again. You're going to make them? So we made one fly.

Me and Lincoln each made a fly. Okay. Catch any fish with it? Not really worth it if I'm being honest. Yeah. Just go buy it. Just buy them. Those guys buy them for five bucks, dude.

I get caught in way too many trees when I'm doing it. And I just need to put it in new one on. See, I learned so many things. It's like, I always thought you had to go straight behind you to cast. Roll cast. You could do so many things and like, there's no. I mean, just being athlete, being athlete, fly fishing. But is it fly fishing supposedly like the more laid back, chill?

It's a more. It's a more skilled type of fishing. I thought it would be more luck-based. No. No, it's skilled. It's very skilled. Yeah. But you can obviously go catch fish on a fly,

not knowing what you're doing, but to do it right and to have success, you have to be skilled. What you're alluding to is my uncle, he'll go to one little creek in the top of some mountain, he'll spend a week and he'll catch a trout that's seven inches long.

And it's like he's made it. And I'm like, I don't go bass fishing. He did make it. But you can fly fish bath. Okay. Just fly fish. Topwater.

bass, baby. Interesting. One thing I always marvel at Gare is his ability to pick up a hobby and get addicted. I pick up one hobby at least a year. And this year it's, this year is fly fishing. He's addicted. I'm in, I have an addictive personality. You do. Tyler, yeah, you traveled a little bit post-tour, but it wasn't with your family. Sorry to do you know. I heard Bethany was a little upset. What was it today we were talking about you going to and you're like, dude, I can't marriage on the line? Oh, Trav was like, dude, let's go down to college station this weekend for Texas A&M football practice. And I was like, if I go to practice, I won't have a family when I come back. They'll be gone. You'll be a house, but no family. I'll have a house and no family.

Well, no house. Well, it's a rental. He's a rental. Dude. I'll have half a rental house and no family. How did Steve Jones ever make it going to tennis games and stuff? He married. He's still doing He married a gym. Yeah, so Typlea golf, I would fish in. What'd you do? Whole out of nothing. It was fantastic. Play a little golf.

Did you go to the lake? Went to the lake. You played PGA West 15. You did it. Was one of those a new round or were those all old? No, there were five new rounds. I played five rounds of golf in two weeks. Yeah, 82.

Is that good or bad? Are you laughing? I need to know. I took it sincere. You went all tour playing the golf that you were playing. Yeah. And it came home to PG&A. Yes! And shot in 82?

I did. That's my caddy. I will... Cody has it in him. Dude, I am. Literally, it sounds crazy. It sounds really crazy. It's amazing.

When he's behind himself, no one can verify. Yeah. But no one can get in my head. I don't know. My phone would go off at the most random time. Sandy Porr out of the beach for Cody. I'm like, wow. I didn't know he's doing that.

Keel Island. Whoa. My goodness. I was updating all my scorecards from the last five years. A little upset I didn't catch a invite. It's common tomorrow. Yeah, we are going tomorrow, I guess. You're playing golf tomorrow?

Tomorrow morning. Like 6.45 a.m.? I'm telling you, that's the beauty of West. You can get done in two hours. Me and Cody is very... Wait, first of all, guys, we got a film at nine. Yeah, we'll make it. Oh, the Best Buy thing?

I'm not a part of it, Cody is. He's been going to finish 18. I'll finish 18. He'll be done after seven. But yeah, no, that would be fun. Me and Cody are committed because we're very, like, a tier... You're teeing off.

at 645. You're showing up at his house for Sim work at 645. T-times actually at 7.30. I am, you're gonna play four holes? No, no, dude. I'm the first off, dude. It's like Mark Wahlberg.

Like you run into the ball. And then you're just like, it's been great. We're gonna get steps in and no practice swings. We can get 90. Look, I love it. I'll get 15 in. I hope it delays our best by shoot.

Can I play? That's up to Cody. See, then we would only play seven holes. No, you're not. I'm not, you're gonna be late to this thing because you're golfing. No. I'm playing. We'll see.

I'll have to text my handler. I'm a founding member. I can't play. They don't even know who you are out there. Do you have a, do you have a Yomi we don't know about? No, it's a, she's at the PGA. Got a caddy, a handler. Her name's Club 1916.

I'm confirming your tea time tomorrow at 732 with Kevin Sparkman. Please let me know if plans change. Yeah, plans have changed. Another one added to the list. He's coming in hot. Also, I think we bring up the Yomi thing on the pod live, like Judge Dutty. Oh, the Twins assistant. Yeah.

They were that dude. She's been there until 9 p.m. some nights. It's crazy. Because she's like the holographic charger. Haven't seen her in the office. Holocryphic Shadows first edition. All right, dude. Yeah, that's a little bit about us.

We've had a good summer. We've gained some weight. Some lost weight. I've definitely gained it. Sparky's not in a cutoff shirt. He's in a hoodie for the first time. Yeah, that tells you every game. That tells you every game. Hide in the double chin.

It's seven consecutive nights of some kind of ice cream-based dessert. Really? Five of them and these milkshakes. I got to the point where I was rolling up and they were like, large caramel? That's probably an issue. That's probably an issue. That's your go-to? It's just a carmel.

It's so good. Large caramel shake? It's so good. I gotta say you are the most interesting man that I've ever met. You can not get the soft serve and throw some cookie deal in that. But, dude. You want to get the caramel and stuck with it? Should we go after this pod, get you a large caramel?

No, no. It's got to sound great. It's so hot today? Today is the first of Survive 60. Let's make it tomorrow. No, I can't. I promise myself. Because you didn't know how sideways it got on me.

But I didn't get to enjoy the sideways. No, you didn't. I had a bag of burgers last night from Bronx. A bag of burgers? How many? No. Eight four and a half. No, you did it.

What happened? It's all in his face. Oh, what? Just having fun. I didn't do. I was having fun. The Rangers really did that to you? Rangers did do a lot of time.

A bag of burgers? For one person? A bag oh burger? It's like 899. Incredible deal. If you get cheese, like 1150. Yeah, Steve would not be getting cheese. I'm done.

I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. And there's, that makes so much sense why he's wearing a freaking extra large hoodie. Dude, I stepped on the scale today. He caught me on the cameras. He looks in the mirror and is like, man. I'm doing that whole video of it.

I was sizing myself up. Oh, my God. Wands are off of Cody's plate. I'm telling you. Oh, I need to send you the picture. I also had a burger the other night that I ate. How many burgers did you have? A lot.

That's what I'm saying. It's like Friday night. West Virginia. The burger ended up being the exact same state as West Virginia. All ever done that on accident? What are you talking about it? You're gnawing on food and all of a sudden it ends up being a perfect shape. It was like the perfect shape of West Virginia.

I'll send it so Jared can play. This is the, dude. Like you get halfway 3. and you're like, Texas. I was able to go for a bite, and I was like, oh my gosh,

that's West Virginia. You've never done that. I don't think I know. West Virginia is well enough. I want to have just a, like a live camera in the Sparky's apartment. At any time, I can just log in and just,

that should be like, that's what I want to, I don't want to watch Twitch or any, I just want to watch Sparky, whatever he does when he goes home. He's going to have headphones on, a red bull to the right. That's a great spark in the dark segment

is we have all the ladies, try and eat a burger into their favorite state shape. Yeah, and you got to guess it. That's good. Where do we stand on that? Spark in the Dark. I don't know. You got to start drinking the shakes. We got to push for it. Less bagel burgers and I think we'll get you on. That's what I'm saying.

We're going to start that. It's time to go. I let it fly. I out kicked my coverage for a couple weeks. Let a man live a little bit. Now it's back. Well, we just want to live with you. We didn't get the invite. I know. I should have been more cool. We should have been high and tight too with the footy. Hey, you know what? Let's get a bag of burgers and a caramel today and we'll start tomorrow. That does sound funny.

He smiles. It's so good. All right. Well, we want to know what you want to see in season two, so tell us below in the comments. Absolutely. This segment is sponsored by Body Armor, Flash IV. Work hard, hydrate hard. Madden covers, boys, they're a big deal.

They are. But they also come with a curse. Who's on this year's? Who is on this year's Madden? Jay and Dee. Kelly Williams. That's right. And Seek-Warnvers last year?

Does he have his fingernails in it? Surely, right? I don't think he does that anymore. He doesn't. Oh, he's over that? Mm-hmm. Zoom in on his fingers, the left hand? No, he's not showing him.

I don't think he's painted up. I think he kind of is. Point it up. Or's it a glove. It's pointed up. Jared's going to show us some Madden covers from years past. We're going to see if we can guess

what year it's from. I love that. We'll write our answers on the whiteboard. It'll probably be the year after they were great. I feel like I should win this. And if I don't, it's a poor representation of who I am. I've actually only played Madan one time in my life. No way.

Yeah. I'm a college football guy. Vic, 2007. No, 7, Vic. 03. Yeah, it's closer to that. Was that that far, long ago? You had to find out. Yeah. All right, time to show them covers. Most answers right wins, boys, first up.

Oh, easy. O'Dell Beckham Jr.'s back in blue. Looks good, easy. Yeah. Got a big old ovation, didn't he? Okay, I got it. Oh, gosh. This one... I got it. This one I didn't play, I don't think of too much of. Hmm Come on

Three Hold on hold on I do have a whiteboard Hang on here I don't really remember But I take a guess He made the one-handed catch I know

I know In 2011 when I was a youth pastor Dallas Cowboys watch party 2011 And two years later He was a stud muffin I think it was 2013 I think he's pretty close there actually

It could be 2012 That was 2016 It could be 2012 I'm way off It's mad in 16 Yes Yeah I'm mad at 13

Kind of right in the middle I actually think Cody's probably going to be really close here. All right, correct answer. 16. No, wait, man, no. Maybe G on the board first. Three years after the one-handed catch. What was the year confirmed? 16? Yep. What is it really? 2011? Can you look up one-handed catch? But you also... I don't think it was 2011. You also got to remember Jones. Madden's 16

comes out in 15. No, it had to have been 2015. 2014? Which makes sense. You're way off. Tank, what am I thinking of? You got to remember 2016 game comes out in 15. So it was fresh off of this. So your thought process were you thinking maybe the catch? That's what I'm saying. That's right. Maybe that was it. All right. That was a good one. Oh yeah.

Patty. Patrick Star. I'm pretty sure on this one actually. I actually don't know but was he on multiple? Yeah, he should have been. Three, two, one. Got a couple twenty-ones. Tye and Cody. I went 20. I think this is COVID year. I remember playing this one a ton. He's not wearing a mask.

Oh, good point. God, what an oversight. It can't be 20. He was vaccinated. He was vaccinated. Backs. Yeah, back team. Yep, I'm on the board.

That, he was good that long ago. Life was not, though. 20-20. How many years has Mahomes been in the league now? Nine? This nine? The White House product's been there. Yeah, I think it's going to be year to end, isn't it?

10th season. Okay. Wow. They grow up so fast. They do, man. Next cover. Oh, Ray. This is going to be around the same time.

frame is Odell. It has to be way up the leaderboard on terms of guys you do not want to be met in the agap by, historically. Yeah. I would not want to meet him

for a picnic. I got it. I'm either off by year or I nailed this. Everybody flipped? 2005. Golly. Yeah, I think it's earlier.

Maybe 06. All right. And we have Sparky with the win. 2005. Wow. Yeah. Paget Wade. We're so old.

Yeah, you know, we're thinking of him in the end of his career. He was on the cover is a stud muffin. Drew B. Big fan of the show. I'm so off now with my years.

Okay, so hold on, quiet. I've got my reason. I do too, because when you lift Lombardies, you make covers. Yeah, I think this is about right. 9, 10, 11. Oh, 9. Also a 9, yeah. 09, boys, did they hit?

And Sparky takes the wind down. No, way, do you. When did he win at 09? Super Bowl wasn't 09? Drew Brees mad in 11. When was the Katrina Super Bowl? Super Bowl is 09. So it wasn't the next year, 10?

I know. That's a whole. It's already had it. It's made for 11. They already had the cover for that. Yeah, we're off a year. You're off a year. Do it the plus one.

You got to carry the one. You got to carry the one. I'm on fire. We're running out of space for my correct answers. That's one. That's sick. And I'm burning up just because I weigh 185 pounds. You're saunting the whole time.

Oh. Lamar. This has got to be recent. Yeah, this is definitely more recent. Mm-mm. What? I think it's earlier than you think. It has to be.

If this isn't it, I'm out. I drew my too bad. I think Garrett's got me rethinking. I think I'm a little early. 321, 21, 21, 23. Come on. Cody, way to follow Sparky on his answer. What is it?

21. You copied Spark? No, no, no. He just went back up to 40. I never saw his. I'm on a fire all the subject. Yeah, you are. Don't even let me share it.

Why did you think it was 23, Garrett? I have no idea. You don't play Madden, bro. I'm a college guy. All right. Cowboys in college. All right. This next one's a good one.

I have no idea. This is pretty sparky playing days. I don't know what. I'm just, now you're early Jones. Did they have a Madden one? They did? There was a first Madden.

It went 97? Yeah, no, Jeddn. It's Madden one or two. Watch this. 1901? Okay, so correct answer is this is the first Madden ever. Garrett and Cody took the first Matt. We know that.

88. Oh, I'll get it to gear. Bad showing. Ew, that was bad. What a guy, too, to put yourself as a tie, like, love that. Good job. Madden.

That was our first six, number seven. Calvin. I dropped it in 2023. Yeah, after you retired. I was going to bring it up two years after retirement. Wasn't a fresh retire. No, it was next year. It wasn't.

This is Madden. No, it was not. I'll never forget it. This is. I typed it to receiving yards from the previous year and it was him as ever one. They went Madden 1 in 88. Correct. But then they skipped a bunch of years because you can't go to Madden like 19. They were all called John Madden football and then like the year.

So the first one was 1988. Once they got until 2001 is when they started actually putting players on the cover. All the other ones before that were just pictures of that. But then did they start over and say like for 2001 was it Madden 1 as well? I think it was Madden 01. and they actually started using the year. Got it. Okay, so this could be Madden 08.

Oh, see, I think, yeah, 15? If there's one of them out there, they did Madden 25 as like paying homage to their 25th year. Yes, they did do that. Could be this one. All right. And Tyler with the win, 2013.

Okay, that wasn't Madden 25. Tyler, it was on the board. T-bone. T-bone. Needed that one badly. All right, three left. Sparky's any lead before. Garrett and Cody Trail with two.

Tyler with one. Which one is this? Shockingly, I think he was his only. You really think he was only on it once? I really think he was only on at once. Really? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I'm gonna stick... No, no, no, no. Oh, man, I'm at a loss for words. Oh. That's a five. Let me see. I said seven. No, wait.

What do you tell? He had four by then. No, I know. I know. Why would they wait so long? It could be maddened. You're dumb. He won three when we were in high school.

What is it? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. Oh, wait. for Ty. Tyler might be on this. All right. Unfortunately, we have a no-win situation here. Do you guys want a second crack at it? Who's closest? Closest would be

Sparky. In Gehr. He also had 15. I had 15. Yeah. It's 16. It's 16. You dirty. Go ahead and give a second guess. Yeah. Yeah, 16. Yeah, I'm not going to do 16. Smart. Go 14. You won't. You won't. You won't. You won't go 14?

18. And Cody Jones gets Man, it is number 18. Nice joke. 16 was Odell. That was the first one. Oh, silly. There's a lot of numbers being thrown around.

All right, we got two left. Cody has a chance to come back and take Spark. Oh, baby. Who is that, Cody? Marshall Fogg. Nice. Late change here. Late change.

Do we already do 06? I can't remember. No, 06 has not been an answer. 3, 2, 1? Is that way too old? No, no, you're close. Oh, my gosh. Guys, this is a huge, huge result.

Cody Jones Yeah, baby! I'm on fire! We now go to a tie breaker, but so since we're literally neck and neck with Cody and Sparky, we'll let you guys get this last one. Whoever's closest to the year without going over

is the winner. Without going over, okay. 1776, play the low game. Oh, Palomalu and Larry Fitsy? Yeah, you're done. You know it, Sparks. Trust your gut. It was trusted.

First thought. It was fun. Trust it, Sparky. It was fun. The ball was in Dallas. 2010. And we have a one. winner it is Sparky.

Bang, baby. That 2006 I knew you trusted your gut. We already did 16. 16 would have been a very tough look. 16 was O'Dell Beko. What's his gut? What are you talking about?

Oh, I just knew he, he thought of it right off of that. I added to it. You better listen to it. I was a fun little segment there. I cannot believe we didn't show the iconic Mike Vico for was just sitting on that. Next, let's do Halo covers. Yeah, that's good.

ODST. Yeah. Halo 3. Halo 3, man. I mean, you kind of expected Sparky. to win the Yeah, that's a grader, Sparky. All right, we're going to take a little break

before we talk back to school and share some of our own stories. Ooh. Finding a great family car is hard. So is finding a great family, but this isn't about me, G. Tell me more about your car troubles. You want a car that can fit your kids

and all their stuff, which takes up more room than they do. Plus, you want features that both adults and kids will love, and finding all that in a cool package is almost impossible. But then I test drove the Chrysler Pacifica and Sparky,

I might be a minivan guy. Whoa, coming from you, that is a big deal, but I get it. It's a smooth ride with a new look and all kinds of cool features. And the inside is a completely flexible space thanks to the Pacifica's Sto and Go seating and storage systems. That's right. So if you want to take a trip at the boys, I can do five seats and tons of room for our gear. Or if I take Owen to soccer, I can flatten the second and third row seats to fit all of the equipment in there.

It's built for the unpredictability of real life. And the only thing I can predict from the Hilbert family, is that the kids are going to make a mess, and you're going to want to clean it up as soon as possible. The Pacifica's got that cover, too. With the Stoan VAC, you'll never find three-year-old potato chips under the booster seat again. You really might be a minivan guy, Gary.

Find out if you are, too, the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica. Check it out at Chrysler.com. Everyone knows we love body armor here at DudePerfect. It gives us longer-lasting hydration for workouts, trick-shot videos, and when Jared turns off the air conditioning in the podcast studio, making a sweat. That's right, G.

and lately I've been loving body armor flash IV. You're not the only one. We have a secret stash here in the studio, and everyone a dude perfect keeps taking them. Can you blame them? Don't tell them about the secret stash. There are tons of great flavors, both with and without caffeine.

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body armor flash IV will give you the potassium-packed hydration you need. And you can pick some up right now at your local 7-11. Body armor flash IV, work hard, hydrate hard. The tour is going to be over in a few weeks and then it's almost time for the kids to go back to school. I loved going back to school because of the shopping before high school and college, hoping that mom would get me some kind of little gift. Me too, whether it was a video game, music, or just something cool for the dorm room. The start of a new school year is a major milestone in every student's journey is unique. Apple gift card is the perfect solution for busy parents and family members because it fits any budget and takes the guesswork out of gifting. Man, I would have loved to get that when I was in high school or college.

What would you have used it on? Definitely buying some music. I need music for every activity. Studying music. Workout music. Running late to class music. Unfortunately, you're not going back to school, but you can give it to a loved one. Whether they need new AirPods to stay focused during study sessions, extra iCloud plus storage for their new school projects,

or an Apple music subscription to unwind after classes, Apple gift card gives them the invaluable chance to choose the tools and entertainment that suit them best. It is a personal and practical way to show your support for their next academic chapter. This sounds like the perfect gift for every student in my life. It also makes me want to go back to college. visit apple giftcard. Dot apple.com to gift one today. Almost, hey, almost go. Welcome back to Almost Athletes.

This segment is sponsored by Apple Gift Card. All across the country, boys, the kids are going back to school. Thank goodness we're not. So we're going to share some of our back-to-school secrets with a game of two truths and a lie. We'll each share three personal stories from K through 12 education and the others need to guess which two stories are true and which one is the lie.

And I just realized I did something. You did two lies and a truth. Yeah, I did. I knew it. And I just realized I did something. You just told the truth on all three? Mine was, mine happened after.

One of them happened a little bit after K through 12. That's fine. No, okay. I did it backwards, boys. Apologies. I'm two lies in a truth. Suspended one half of a football game for locking myself in a locker. Car towed on first day of senior year.

Had to go to night school to get my GED. Two lies in a truth. I think your truth is number three. See, no, he's a smart. He's a smart kid. I'm going to say the three is a lie. Okay. And then what's the other lie?

There's only one. I know. No, he has two lies in a truth. I'm two lies in a truth. I think number one is a lie because the detail that he's leaving out is that he thinks he put himself in there. I think the seniors put him in there.

So you think number two is his only truth. Yeah. Car got towed on first day of senior year. Okay. Garrett, what's your truth? I think number three is the only truth. Wow. Really good list by Spark.

Only true one. Number one, suspended one half of a football game for locking myself in a locker. True story, voluntarily, too. Freshman lockers, you could hang like your pads in there. It was, it was decent size for a hundred pound freshman. And I thought it would be really funny on game day, freshman year football, to volunteer. Like, boy, shut me in my locker, you know, it'd be funny. I know the code. Shut the locker, completely panicked.

Mine went blank, completely forgot my little combination, three-pin combination to the point. They had to go grab coach spin. who came in there. It was absolutely livid. Suspended for a half. After one quarter, we're down like 14-0-0 to Friscoe-Wa-Lakland. He's like,

Sparkman, you know what you did wrong, get back in there? So it ended up being a quarter, but yeah. Did you all make the comeback? No. Oh, God. I thought it was a big comeback story. My idea to lock myself in the locker,

and I forgot the combination. You could... I was freaking out, boys. Internally, they have a combination too? No. No. Outside, he's told them to do it. I couldn't even lift kit it on the inside.

So you were telling them to do it. And I was like, 28, 32, and then, like, the panic said. Yeah, but you got to get the, you got to get the two turns and one turn. And those locks were miserable. Yeah, so anyhow, got locked on the inside so badly that we had to go get coach help. All right. Well, I had two truce and a lie. The game's supposed to be played.

In what world did you think I got a GED? I was like, that's a layup. Like, they're not going to think that. I don't even know if you have a GED. Yeah. Fair. All right, Garrett. Your list, total the car while driving.

drowsy, rage baited a student who threw a car battery through brothers' rear car window, bought a used car that ended up being reported missing stolen. I lived a just colorful childhood. Two truths and a lie out of this list, okay? I think three is what? The lie? I'm going to say one is the lie. Cody nailed it.

Number three is the lie. I didn't ever buy a used car. Always drove the new ones. Yeah. If you didn't put used gone, the used car was my first, like, bought a car. That would have thrown Cody off. So you rage baited a student who threw a car battery through brothers rear car window? Yeah, and then ketchup packets at this dude.

Really, really bad time in my life. Really was rebelling, rebelling. Don't catch up. I see that. You must have been really young. I had two other kids in the car with me. Look, as we always say, you are who you. Hang out with.

Hang out with. That's so true. And I hung out with some... Your brothers. No, it was my brother's car, dude. I was driving Chase's car. He was out of town. He came back to a broken back windshield.

I feel like the level up there was incredible by your ops. You're throwing ketchup packets and all of a sudden we're throwing car batteries? So it was a progression. We were driving home from church on Wednesday. This is a Wednesday at church? Yeah, saw all these kids and a Tom Thumb

hanging out in a Tom Thumb. That's a grocery store for the people who don't know Tom thumb is. I was like, no, they were college kids. Oh, we already have no idea what they were. No, they were college kids. And they were, you know, just kind of having fun and a Tom thumb.

And I was like, these guys drove by through some cats. You know how you twist the ketchup packet and you throw it and explodes? Yeah, yeah. You did that. Oh, yeah, accuracy was on point. Like hit the people or hit the car? Both, both.

Sped off next week, driving home from church camp, the kids are back. We're like, this is too easy. little did we know that they were expecting us. No. Drove in, through the catch-up, they blocked off every exit. No. Took a huge car battery right through, came up, tapped on my window with a bat.

And I was like, message received. Did you get scared? Oh, of course. Tap the windows? No, it actually went to trial. Oh, it was like a law thing. Yeah. Like Judge Duty?

Went to trial. Oh, you could tell that weight on your conscious. He's coming clean. He's got real dark, real fast, Jared. But hey, I've come clean now, baby. Got it. 28 years later. God's grace.

That's great. It's a back-to-school topic. It's good. Yeah, it is. Again, you are who you hang out with, and I was just hanging out with. So if you were guilty, was there any jail time? No, no, no, no. It was about who was going to pay for the window.

Man, I almost went to the Supreme Court. It was crazy. No, no jail time. It was like, they just wanted to see who, like, was going to pay for the window. Got it. And I had to pay for it. Brutal, dude. Windshields are expensive.

I don't know you guys know that. Those things are. Especially. Flight repairs, especially on like a high school budget. Yeah. Yeah, dude, I had to work like all summer to repair that. He had a high school budget's different than everyone else's high school budget. I worked for mine, dude.

We're chick-flet. What was your allowance? Like a thousand a week? Never had an allowance. Because you had an unlimited credit card? That's right. That's right. Plattie Plus, baby.

Yeah, little platy plus. Yeah, never had an allowance. Only the credit card. That's good. I think God was good to me when he didn't give me a credit card to like 23. Because I could not have done it back in the day. It got real to work, too. I'm still just cracking up on your two weeks, you're just going bag of burgers, dude.

It's so funny. I'm going to miss it. All right. Did Cody play at two truce and a lie as well? I did. Okay. The correct way. And number one, shot my brother Chase with the BB gun and the BB stuck in his leg.

That's a true story. That was last week. Played the trombone for a year. That one I don't know yet. Yeah, you have trombone tendencies. So I could actually see that. Number two is the lie. Number two is the lie.

When we're in Colorado, I was in the car and my mom hit a bear. No, it's number two. You didn't play no trombone. You have no musical instrument in your body. Your mom is too good of a driver and lady. She's not hitting a grizzly bear. I'm going to say that's the lie. Okay, the lie was my mom drove and hit a grizzly bear, but I was not in the car with her.

Golly. You played trombone? One year. You need to be choir. They didn't let me sing. I need Cody of the trombone next episode. I didn't get any good. I just, they literally let me try out for choir and then they're like, no thanks.

I thought they just took everybody. And then you went to trombone and they were like, no thanks. It was trumpet, so it was already full, so I had to do trombone. I never spent a day in band my whole life. Really? Oh, we had to. We had to. Did choir band?

Oh, yeah. I did percussion, though. I wasn't going to go trombone. Dude, I might as well go clarinet. It was bad. Do you guys ever do marching band? No. not a no no like I didn't do we played football but I didn't do marching men no but I do

those guys get up there yeah they do those guys get up there like four in the morning and work on their formations they can hear it from my neighborhood I can hear it from my neighborhood my lack of participation in band was definitely based off the fact I just lacked any musical talent wasn't wasn't a cool factor you weren't like too cool for band I always respected you would fit right in I always respected the linemen think so He's saying you're trying to deflect. The lineman who took off the shoulder back. I respected the right guards who never went to the half-time speech,

just went straight out to band. Yeah, took the helmet off and you started ripping. And they went right back in to air. They already knew what coach was going to say. Yeah, see, I did have an issue with that. Our middle backer, my junior ear, Matt Burton, well of a player, could really play the trumpet too. But man, you'd need to go over some coverages or something inside the locker room.

You're like, where's Burton? Oh, he's in formation on the 40. Oh, why now the trumpet? Ripping in an A flat. I went to a school. Actually, both of my schools, college and high school, probably more renowned for the band program than the football program, which is tough reality when you're a football guy. Two really good bands.

Green Brigade, man. If you ever have a free Saturday, go up to Denton, Texas, man. You can get a free ticket. It's been just chills down the spine. We're fighting Texas Aggie band. Yeah. We've never lost a half time. Ooh, that would be a great matchup, our two bands.

It's not. Trust me. We do little zigzags. Yeah, so you don't do this zigzags. But if you just want the sound of music, the Green Brigade, there's no. All right, just on the topic of Back to School, I thought we'd play another game. There's a trend on social media where people look at school folders, so red, blue, green, yellow, and associate said color to a class, to a subject. Oh, okay.

So the subjects are science, math, history, and English. Okay, do you want to start by subject? Right off the bat. Okay. What color would science be? I've got mine locked in already. I think I've got mine. Y'all say it on three

One, two, three. Yellow. I was going to go yellow. Y'all both yellow. Yeah, why? I want to know. Beakers? I don't know.

I was going to go yellow. Beakers. I was going to go. Beakers. Yeah. It's the only science, like, thing you could. I don't know. Petri dish?

Petri dish. A lot of fungi. I thought petri dishes were pink and red. I said green because, like, nature. Science is nature. Yeah, I agree. involved. That's a good, that's a good one. There's more water than there is forests.

Why didn't see blue? He's got you there. Yeah, good point codes. Hold on. Next. Math. Math is blue. I think math is red. I agree. I'm going red all day for math. Because it'll make you red in the face.

That's good. Okay, this is where it gets tough. Oh, this is easy. I just always put my math stuff in red folders. If I said, you know, for all four, I think I might wait. Because I'd at least get one point English I don't like that

English It's gonna be green green English is he already used green So this is where I'd use yellow Okay here English So we all agree history's blue Yeah yeah Because Columbus sailed the ocean blue

Talk to me Come on we actually killed that Come on that's how you do it We all had different answers So no one killed Do we have right answers? Did anyone get them all right? right? There's no right answer.

What? That's the end of the thing. No, I want a right answer. What are people saying in our colors? Okay. Well, what are like the majority? Yeah, I would love to see where majority falls. I was the type of kid who did it by. She goes, there's no answers, y'all. I don't play games where it's participation.

What is this? I did it based off like athlete. Oh, it's my Carmelo folder. That's, you know, that's social studies because he's so... Math is red. We nailed it. Yeah, that was the layup. Everybody knows that. menu. Science is green, sparky. Yeah. Dude, did you get, did you get all four sparking?

I was a whale of a student, boys. 85% of people agree science is green. English is blue. No, we missed that. I went yellow there. I went yellow there. You got yellow, dude. English is yellow. That's what it says. Dude, you knitled all four. Maybe me at 185 is the secret sauce.

Maybe I'm a 185 guy because I'm having a brilliant day on the pod. Bring the scale. Dude. Oh, it's going to ring and I'm just gone. What is your favorite subject out of those? Oh, math. I'm a history guy, dude.

Love me from World War, too. Yeah, history all the way. History? I think I'm really good at math, but I don't like to do it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's work. I love math.

Would you go back to school, even if you were paid at this point? I can't imagine going back to school. I would go back to school tomorrow. Would you really? Tomorrow. To cross for high school. I miss school. Is that you just like eager to learn?

I like the social? I think it was easy. I love learning. I love learning. You know, Plano was harder than Texan Am in my opinion. So what do you miss about it, Garrett? Yeah, I think I missed the learning.

Like, the striving to like, I mean, and you're just around, like, just around your friends all day. I'm with Gary. As opposed to now? I'm not around friends, places. This is. You look the best job in America.

I don't know. Give me back to school. Give me a PhD over this. To be fair, I wish I was as, eager about learning then as I am now. Like, I'll watch a YouTube video late at night simply just off the basis of like, oh, the gravitational pool. Like, this is interesting.

Yeah, we didn't have that. We didn't have videos. I would say it was, it was bookworm. You had to use like an encyclopedia. Would you have learned more as a student if your teachers were just YouTube videos on the subjects you were. 100%. Yes, 100%.

I make a balance of both in person and that way. I also did it. I like, I wish I could go back and appreciate, like I didn't appreciate history. Like now I'm having to like relearn it almost. I wish I just would have learned it right off the bat. You'd have dove in and been full committal right off the bat. Like us. History is the best, man.

Full committal. Whatever you need to know about history, I've got it on lock. It's true. I could have been Mark Rover, dude. It was good game, boys. Glad we were mostly on the same page. We'll be right back with more almost athletes. We're going to talk some fantasy football right after this.

Today's episode is sponsored by Facebook. And this one's actually kind of perfect for us. It's been crazy to see how many people are you. using Facebook to actually get out there. The other day, I found a great pickup basketball game. You can log on, search groups in your city, and find a league near you. Wait, you can find groups that have pickup leagues on here? Dude, all kinds.

I found one local basketball Facebook group near me that's specifically into trick shots. That's wild. It made me realize I need to practice even more. So I found a hoop on marketplace that a neighbor was selling, barely used, and I had it up two hours later. This sounds dangerous for me. I'd go on for a hoop and end up buying a whole Mavs setup. You say that like you haven't. Didn't you find a Dirk throwback on there? I found the jersey and the shoes and then like 17 compilations of his fade away on reels. So that killed an afternoon.

That's the thing. You log on for one reason and end up finding something way bigger. A leak, a hoop, a whole crew to run with. And none of that was like recommended for you stuff. It was just real people in my neighborhood posting. Facebook, find more than what you're looking for. Have you heard the big news? Lucas coming back to Dallas? No, not yet, but soon, hopefully.

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Can't believe school's back in session, Gary? That's crazy. Dude, summer went by quick, man. Again, I had a blast on tour. Did you like tour? Oh, it's my favorite, by far. It was a grind. Don't get me wrong.

Bro, it was a grind. We committed to the grind, but it was rewarding. I like being able to go up there and just compete every night. You know, you weren't worried about, like, lines or anything. It was just like, dude, you go out there and have fun. Yeah, dusting the shoes off on the tour from was a blast. And it was good to just see the fans. I love seeing the fans and being in front of them.

Yes, and I think we take more out of it than what we're giving. Truthfully. 100%. Sometimes you just need to hear like, hey, you're our family's favorite. Like, that's good to hear sometimes. Yeah, putting in work. It's good to hear that tie is some people's least favorite. Yeah.

Happened multiple times on tour. There's a little changing in the wins. There's nothing better, though, than coming back. And you got preseason NFL. You got the opener of. Some soccer leagues, like the championship just started with Burnley. Yeah. You got Premier League starting next week.

You got college football. You got golf playoffs. You got baseball coming to a close. Playoff race. Tons of playoff races. It is peak sports. No doubt about it. It's peak sports, dude.

You're about to start NHL and NBA preseason. Yeah. NHL right around the corner. You said it. Yeah. I mean, just what a time. Glorious time. Glorious time.

And you know what? After the summer days of dogging that out, we deserve it. We deserve a really good sports schedule part of our calendar. And that's what we're about to head into. Is it just me? Can you actually smell it? A weird part of me goes out on a summer day on some fresh cut glass, and I'm like, there's a little hints of two of days in there.

Some memory's good, some bad, but you can literally smell football in the air. Where do you stand on preseason, though? Because I love a good preseason fix. Like the other night, the Cowboys playing was so excited. Yeah. So here's the deal. It runs out of its lust or quick. Well, I just don't think people realize, like, these dudes, yeah, you got some young guys.

You got some 21, some 22. But most dudes, I mean, I don't know, the average age of leagues across the board. But I would probably say somewhere like 26, 27 be the average age. Football especially. You can't just go out there and be game ready right off the bat. It's impossible. You're not in high school anymore. Right.

You've got to have, like, you know, I was always talking. Joe Pavelski used to always say it's good to go in a preseason game and get your body rubbing up against the boards again. You need to. Like it's just to feel it, to feel like how to position your body and certain hits and how to take a hit,

what it feels like. It's a really good point actually. So to me, preseason isn't for the fans. You know, they let you watch it and they monetize it. And so if you don't want to watch it, sure. But it's not for that. It's literally for the athletes to get game ready. game one is going to be good.

Right. That's what it's for. And of course you have a couple like fringe guys who are trying to make the team. That's why college doesn't have the game one, game two's. It's not conference play. Well, they do, but they're not even that good. Like when Texas played Ohio State,

like if Texas played Ohio State last year into the year, different ball game, dude. And it's funny you say that because I was just looking, they have it week two this year instead of week one. And as like a neutral, I'm like, I'm actually really glad that game's week two so they can get the college doesn't have preseasoning to see how it feels.

Everyone's a little timid going out there. Right. So I love the FCS tune up. With that said, funny because I've been making my rounds. I like to go to my high school, check them out, support them, went to North Texas, got a good football practice. And it's funny because the North Texas football coach Neil Brown said to me, I said, coach, what's the most difficult challenge of this part in the season?

And he said, no doubt, Sparky, balancing, to your point, being ready for week one, but also not jeopardizing putting our players at risk. Yeah. So they're having a hard time of balancing. how much do we tackle, you know? I just, I think people who are so prone to, and it's all the people that are sitting on the couch, like it's like, dude, if I told you that you,

you're going to be a, you're sitting on the couch, and you're, and you had a long, enjoyable winter, you know, and you just are, you're eating whatever, drinking whatever, and it's like, all right, dude, go run a marathon. The next day, you'd be like, I can't do that.

Like, why would you want, it takes these guys bodies, like, they grind for, for our, for our pleasure. So, no doubt. it's not for us. We just monetize it. So if you have a lens through that, I think you'll appreciate preseason a little bit more. And you know what's around the corner.

And you're going to see guys competing for a job. For a job, which is to me, like pretty fun. Like there's guys out there that like, for the world to watch, this is what they do for a livelihood. And there's something that are going to be like,

sorry, dude, you didn't make it. Yeah. And so seeing the cool storylines develop, kind of like the Cowboys rookie. I think he's Camden Brown, that receiver, who had a heck of a night.

I mean, the catch alone you deserve at least. the roster spot. Yes. So I love preseason. From what I've seen out of preseason so far, I think the Cardinals

are going to be better than people think that right now they're the lowest win total. They're at three and a half right now. Drop the three and a half.

I've even seen some people talk about, is this a zero win team? I don't think so. I think their quarterback play is going to be too good with Jeremiah Love. I think they're going to win.

They're going to squeak out a couple wins. Yeah. Is he Jeremiah Love one of the more polarizing rookies so far? in terms of like seeing the ability. Well, if you're a fantasy person, it's hard not to,

it's hard not to want to draft that guy high because he's going to get a lot of touches. Yeah. And he's going to catch balls out of the backfield. Yeah, I just worry about the genty thing where it's like how good are they up front to deem success.

Also love got a high ankle sprain out for the rest of the preseason. They don't need to see any more of him. No, he looks fantastic, dude. He had what? 11 carries for 50-something yards and he had some catches for some yardage. To your point, he's in every down guy too.

Like, he can absolutely. He's unbelievable. I love him in an over name. Really good back. Really good back. In terms of quarterbacks, Ty Simpson, spinning that rock.

I like what I saw from Mendoza. I don't know why people are like, to me, it's exactly what teams should do to prepare for a Hall of Fame quarterback that's going to depart in two to three years. Take a first round guy, let him learn from said guy.

Yeah, but dude, you're going to go right into being good again. Right. So I don't mind the pick. I don't know. I'm a Cowboys fan and I know Dax time is coming to an end like it's got to come soon we have got to draft and it's not draft a fifth round quarterback and be like let's take a shot do go get you a stud that can learn from Dack for three years I think the problem with the Cowboys in particular is they have they keep that window is just barely open barely open so they don't want to sacrifice using a high draft position they're already solidified so it's a it's a tough balancing game I get it but I love what I love what the Rams did yeah As long as they stay competitive, which I think they're probably the ringleaders in the NFC to win it. And again, I said it last year.

I'm going to say it this year because it's just a dream of mine. But give me a repeat of the 90 Super Bowls of the Dallas Cowboys and the Buffalo Bills. Gosh, I want it so bad. And let's just have some fun with it. Told you. Kept my Valentine's Day open in 27 for that reason. Because that's who I'm picking. Way too early pick.

that's who I'm picking to go to the Super Bowl. And everyone's, yes, I pick the Cowboys because that's what Cowboys fans do. There's nothing to show that they're going to get there. See, I feel like just a little more than the DFW residents. It's spread a little bit. There's some opponents out there who like them.

But, man, the Buffalo Bills, Josh Allen also entering, I think, year 10, or year 9. Yep, something like that. And he's so close. It's the only thing left on his bingo card. And I just hope he can get it done. I really do.

I'll say this about preseason. You can never get too high or too low. No. Like, you can't, if you go own four and you get blown out, that doesn't mean anything. Exactly. At the end of the day, it's to Garrett's point, you're ramping up. Really, just trying to survive injury. Every time I open X or Instagram right now, it's like,

significant injuries. People will, because again, like I said, it's these guys going from getting their bodies ready and they're ramping all the way up. All the way up. And that's why you always, when people say like their fantasy, drafts and they're like three weeks of preseason left. I'm like, rookie mistakes. That's why you hold that draft until the very

before. Yes. Yes, bro. I want to know who's healthy and who's not. For sure. Hopefully everybody out there stays healthy. I certainly love that football is around. And speaking of football, this segment is brought to you. Before we move on to Fantasy, the AP preseason 25 just came out. Are we going to touch on it?

There's one of my rants from early in the day of almost athletes is how much I despise the early season rankings I take a peek. I do. I do, I do, despise him because it gives you so much credibility into the playoffs. Yes. It holds way too much weight. It holds way too much weight. But there's some surprising teams in this list. Let's go through it. Who's the preseason ranked number one team in the nation? I think Ohio State is. Yeah, I like Ohio State a lot. I will say this. I think Texas being five, and I'm not a Texas person,

I think that's a discredit to how good that team's going to be. I think Texas is a is it should be maybe number one, if not number two. They're returning. Yeah, they lost some defensive players, but do they got Cam Coleman? Oh, on paper. They got, they got Manning who.

Now has a year under his belt. But also if he is the manning from the end of the season, if he jumped even more, he's going to be a problem. Texas, I think, is going to make a deep run, if not win at all. I wonder if they're five because you fool me once type thing, where Texas has been kind of that Cinderella that they keep putting in the top 10

and it kind of fall on their face. I feel like Indiana, call me crazy, is a little too high at 6th. Just because it was like a magical season last year. Everything came together. It came together, but like they got to,

I mean, they have a quarterback that was at TCU that was like, you know, he might be great, but again, like, you don't know.

Too many unknowns. There's too many unknowns. I think Texas A&M is too high. Um, Ole Miss. Ole Miss is the sleeper. It's all about how they would gel with the new head coach.

The new head coach. Got your quarterback back. Texas Tech with the quarterback situation. Don't sleep on BYU now. The Big 12, somebody's got to win it. And if it's not Texas Tech, I could see BYU. How good is it to see USC though? I mean, they've just been ever since, basically they played Texas for the championship.

They've kind of been like. Under a Rock, hibernating a little bit. And man, it's good to see them back. Lincoln effect, Ben. So hopefully they do that. I don't like SMU in there. SMU and Houston. A lot of Texas schools in there.

So yeah, it's a, it's an. interesting, it's an interesting list. I mean, the question is, out of the 25, how many at the end of the year are still ranked in the 25? I'm going to say 12 of them. I'll say a little more. 15. But you're right, subject to change, because there will be plenty of change. I'm also a little disgusted, not even one group of four program in there. No. That's a little disheartening. Yeah. All right. Now we can move on. Now we can move on. And we're going to keep it with the same theme, though. Football theme. This segment is brought to you by Chrysler. The Chrysler Pacifica has all the latest safety features to keep your family safe,

and now we're going to give you our picks to keep your fantasy football team safe. We'll go through the positions and using average draft position, let you know what our safest picks for each position are. So who's a safe quarterback to pick in the later rounds that you think would have great success? Well, Dak Prescott. That's a really good pick. Garrett, if you weren't going to say it, I was. Garrett's going Dak-Prescott.

Gotti, greatest offense. There is, yeah, he threw it around last year. Did he lead the league in passing last year? He's also a veteran, dude. Like, there's a lot of quarterback. There's a lot of teams with some young quarterbacks. Like, Bo Nix could have a great year. Sure.

Still a little unproven. And I want to remind people, when talking about fantasy, you're not necessarily talking about the best quarterback. But, like, part of Dax reasoning why he's such a good pick there is because, hey, the defense, admittedly, is not getting a ton of stops. So they're going to be dropping back and throwing the football, whereas maybe a young darling quarterback is only asked to throw 20, 25 times. So that plays into this quarterback for me.

I also feel like Stroud's going to have a better year this year. That's actually a really good pick because I love the chances of him rebounding from a sophomore slump. And it was a slump. And they got amazing talent around that kid. So I think, are you going to go Stroud? Yeah, actually, I'm going to take that. Because I do it full unexpected. I loved him coming out of Ohio State.

He honestly had a really good rookie campaign. I think that's a good pick. That's a safe pick for a bounce back pick. It's not going to be worse than what it was last year. And running back here I mean again Hard not to We just talked about him

I later value pick for running back Because a lot of running back The big ones are going to go in the first two rounds I mean Jeremiah I love is a great one to pick Yeah totally You're gonna be Because I think Scataboo is gone by the first two rounds Yeah we'll see the knee injury

Keeps me a little weary I have one That I really like and it's kind of under the same vein that Stroud is, I like a big bounce back from Ashton Gentie. Yes. I think he's a really, really good back who had some really, really tough draw last year there in Vegas.

I think the offense aligns a little better. I think one year under his belt will help. Ashton Gentie, don't give up on him yet. And then receiver? Oh, yeah. Yeah, McMillan. I feel like he's going to be... It's good pick.

I don't think he's going to go in the first two rounds, but I still think he's going to be fantastic. You don't see regression there. You see superstars. in the making. He's a stud, man. He's a stud, absolute stud. It's a great pick. I'll go an old drink of water here

who's been around the league and has produced year after year after year, but it's a new place for him for the first time and I think it'll be some rejuvenation. Good friend of ours, Mike Evans, yep. Yes. Saw where I was going with that already. In 49ers? Yeah, I think Mike still has. I also feel

like people are kind of down on pick-ins because it says, you know, he got franchise tag. I think Pickens is going to have one heck of a year. I don't know who in his camp told him to like to show up and all that to just to not have those negotiations. But as soon as George Pickens was working out with CD, DAC, and they're on time at camp, I was like, I like this guy. I think Pickens is going to have a good year. And then I also think it's going to get him re-signed the Cowboys after this. I think we'll lock him up because he has such a dominant year.

I hope we go down that avenue because that means things went really well if they're signing them long term. I will say this about that. It is tough when you have a pickings guy because that offense is so good. It's like, you florinaway's going to get his. CD's going to get his Furnas. How are we feeling about Nakua this year? That dude's a strange dude off the field. He's a different individual, I would say. I get more worried about him off the field than I'm saying. Is he going to get suspended for eight games from some weird stuff he does off the field? People have made fun of me in the past, but I say fantasy locker room chemistry matters. It does. So I might pass on Puka just because I don't want them messing up

my locker. Yeah, you don't want, you don't want them walking, yeah. Tide end. Tide end. There's not really a tight end that goes in the first two rounds.

I would say TRAD, McBride after last year being T-E-N-Bow. Yeah, Bowers didn't have a great year last year and a grantee he was riddled by injuries. That's actually a really good. Yeah, Bowers might be the guy. Rob Bowers.

I think with the young quarterback, they're going to run kind of more, you know, they're going to run some easier routes, I feel like for, and they're going to, I think Bowers is going to be a go-to for him.

Once Mendoza finds his guy, and if it's Bowers, he's going to go to him all the time. That's what he did in Indiana. He did that back-shoulder fade to that dude every single drive. It was a big body, too. And so Bowers could be that for, I love that, for Mendoza. I hope they don't throw Mendoza to the fire

and really let somebody else take lumps first about eight weeks of the season and make sure he's ready. But I really do like that pick. I'll go with one that I drafted actually last year to be my backup tight-end, and I was a year early. He showed signs late in the year, and I think he's going to be really good. Yes, Loveland is so good.

The dude that sang in front of the... He had a couple games there late in the season where you could really see why they used such a high draft pick on him. That's my call right there. Yeah, he's a good one. We're going flex. Oh, Flex.

I have one from a flex standpoint who's already really proven, in fact, maybe even sneaks into those first three rounds kind of guy, but I like the quarterback play in New Orleans because I am a believer in Shuck. I think his go-to guy may even have a bigger year than what he already came off of. If he could stay healthy, and that's Chris Lave. Yeah, dude.

I mean, he kind of went away for a little bit. Well, he battled concussions and stuff like that. That's why I say if you can keep him on his feet, that guy is a stud. Honestly, just drafted an Ohio statewide receiver. Did he just sign a big one, too? Yeah, four-year contract extension worth up to $132 million. Yeah, I'll go Chris Lave. I would take Brees Hall for a flex.

Yeah. He wanted out of New York, ended up staying there. You want to talk about an every down back. Breece Hall will pick up a blitz and pass pro. He'll catch a checkdown. He'll also run between the tackles. I had Montgomery last year as well. I had Montgomery.

It's just he splits so much. So, yeah, I like Brees. Let's go, Breece. Good pick. Yeah, I love it, dude. That's it. I might have to take my own advice and draft some of these players. Our draft is actually in a couple weeks, August 27th,

so we'll fill you guys back in on that. Yep. But we want to hear about your craziest fantasy football league punishment. Send us a voicemail at 972-805-8866 to tell us how your league punishes the losers. You can also find the number at almostathletes.com. There you have it. That's a whistle. You got anything for the rant?

Before we pick up the rant, actually, speaking of fantasy football and punishments, there's been some really good ones out there over the years. Did you see the guy? the ACT. He took the ACT, but he was like recording the whole process and then like the ACT people reached out to him and they're like, take it down and it's just an ongoing saga. I thought the best punishment I've seen was run the marathon

in an airport terminal. Oh, that's a crazy like buy a plane ticket and then just go run 26.4 miles? That is brutal. In a terminal? Which terminal? Any terminal. With people watching? Yeah, you just got to run it, dude.

I saw one. more in a bowling alley too where every strike he had to stay 12 hours every strike gets you 30 minutes off but every gutter ball adds 15 that's a great punishment you just sit there and eat the 12 hours without baller i don't know if i'm good enough bowler of course you can't do bumpers i love that punishment that is a fantastic it's actually kind of fun too you're you're challenging yourself see i had to do one it wasn't for fantasy football is for wheel unfortunate but at the waffle house i either had to spend 24 hours there, but every waffle I ate took an hour off. What did you end up settling on?

Like 12 waffles, 12 hours? Yeah, something like that, dude. I think with the bowling, I'm just eating the 12th. Oh, that's good. That's good. Do you have a rant? I don't necessarily have a rant, but I will say, I don't understand how people sleep in silence.

I don't, like, I did it as a kid. I always have to have a sound machine now. So I was just in Alaska. They don't have AC up there. They don't need it. Yeah. But I have to keep the windows open. Sure.

You know, and I'm a little bit older, so I'm going to bed before a lot of the crew, and they should walk by my window and just chit-chattering, which they should. That's fine, but wakes me up every time. So why don't we have built-in sound machines in every hotel room? Ooh, that's good. Instead of, like, calling in for- Your phone's not loud enough. You need, like, a speaker of, like, built-in white noise. That's good.

You know what I mean? Like, it's not a rant. It's just a suggestion for future. hotel builders. A rancy suggestion. Of like, man, I just got, I just got awoken, awakened. Too many times. That's actually really good, Gary. I can tell you, all the hotels

we stayed at on the road for the tour, had their own white noise machine. Did they really? Being the, a broken HVAC system, making, singing its song. Oh, that's even, but I don't mind that as long as it's consistent. If it's consistent, it's fine, but if it's not consistent, yeah, like there's nothing worse. Like, it's like five seconds on,

wait 20 seconds. Squeaks and a minute. It's not consistent. The guys who are weed eating at my hotel, or my hotel, my apartment is 6 a.m. And it's a rung, and it just makes me so mad. I'm like, we can't wait till eight, you know?

Yep. Anyhow. That's a good ramp. That's not bad at all. But yeah. It's good to be back. Good to be back in for season two. Good to be back in the house.

Season two, the turning of a new. Congratulations. Sparky has, you know, we're going to have throwing him on the scale this season. So it's... Yeah, I was worried. Y'all are going to have... It's different, dude.

It's a different season, man. No one's safe here. We're going to get to work, and it starts today right after this episode ends. Looks like our time is up. Thanks to Chrysler for sponsoring this episode. If you like this vid, be sure to check out voicemails and fan fails right here. We'll be back next Wednesday with an all-new episode, season two style. Until then, pound it.

Noggin. See ya. Wave.