Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect - Dude Perfect Wives EXPOSE What Dads Don’t Understand!

Episode Date: May 6, 2026

Celebrate Mother’s Day with the Dude Perfect crew as the wives officially take over! In this special episode, the Dudes are joined by their better halves for a hilarious (and eye-opening) look at what motherhood is really like. From daily responsibilities to the things dads just don’t understand, the wives keep it real while the guys try to keep up. Then, it’s game time, as the Dudes put their parenting knowledge to the test to see who actually knows what it takes to be a mom… and who’s completely clueless. Plus, the guys dive into the latest across the NBA, NHL, NCAA, and NASCAR — covering all the biggest storylines and hot takes. To wrap things up, the DP interns jump in to answer fan voicemails… and let’s just say their Gen Z is showing. If you’ve got a question, hot take, or your own Almost Athlete moment, head to AlmostAthletes.com or call [phone]. Upload your own fan fails here: https://new.myharbourshare.com/agree/gSttAsmDbo6vYCfm3HBdjh?fbclid=PARlRTSARDo7VleHRuA2FlbQIxMABzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA8xMjQwMjQ1NzQyODc0MTQAAafRqYdnXc6xTmfPMNERbnp5yfF-BqLSY3NCu2GQZSehgOTgD69fSBeTqTcAQg_aem_RWLUmW87bcZIif3zTrWKBg Head to http://policygenius.com/ALMOST to compare life insurance quotes from top companies and see how much you could save! Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 04:16 Mother’s Day Plans 16:33 Mother’s Day Game 49:16 Topical Sports 01:01:55 Voicemails ▶ Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@almostathletes?sub_confirmation=1 🎧 Listen anywhere: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/almost-athletes-with-dude-perfect/id1834502483 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/55gaQm31JIbp6td7QtYsPU Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is (almost) a sports podcast. Co-hosted by Garrett Hilbert and Sparky, with the rest of the Dudes, their wives, and the DP crew popping in throughout the weeksports takes, celebrity guests, athlete interviews, fan voicemails, and the kind of chaos you'd expect from the Dude Perfect family. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Go Big and God Bless Pound it 👊🏻 Noggin 🙇🏻‍♂️ - Dude Perfect Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I want her to know. The poopie diaper has been handled today. He wants to show so hard. He's like, look. You want the credit. I'm not even credit. I'm just announcing like, no worries. Welcome to Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect, A Wave Original.

Follow the show on all social media at Almost Athletes. Like and subscribe to us on YouTube or listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast. We're your host. I'm Garrett. I'm Starkey. I'm Cody. And? And?

I'm Kristen. And? And? And I'm Allison. We got a cool squad today. Yes, we do. I feel like a veteran with these two here. Yeah, we've actually been polled that, you know,

females just do better than us. So we're on our way out. You guys are on your way in. Oh, wow. Coming up on today's up, Mother's Day is coming up this weekend. So Kristen and Allison are here so we can honor them as mothers. We're going to catch up with the latest NBA and NHL playoff action. They're magically delicious.

And Jackson and Graham are stopping by to answer your voicemail questions. How we doing? Yeah. Oh, dude, I'm tired, man. I'm not going to lie to you. Big weekend. We had a great week, but a loaded week. What did you tell them about it, Gare?

So we started with, we did a conference in Dallas. I kind of forgot about that. An AI conference, actually. I think that's what they do. I'm not actually sure. Or we got to see the last remaining humans before AI takes over. Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.

We went straight to Disneyland for Make a Wish Day. That was fun. Had five kids. That was awesome. Always fun. And then we went to the Savannah. Banana banana baseball game. Largest ever.

At Texas A&M Stadium, Kyle Field. How does it feel to be a part of something like that? 102K. That's a lot of people. My dad, longtime Aggie, was not happy that we're just cutting up Kyle Field turf to put dirt down

for a, in his mind, a wiffle ball game. You know? That sounds like Steve. But I appreciate it. It was fun. Steve also doesn't like TikTok or Instagram or... There were horses that pooped on the field,

to be fair. So, a little off-putting. That's natural fertilizer. And then, yeah, we got home late, late Sunday night. I will say I'm going to throw Corey under the bus. Luckily, he has good friends. He was going to stay the night. Which was shocking behavior.

Sleep in, avoid the kid morning routine. And we said, Corey, you get on that bus with us. Yeah, you get on the, you get it. You go home. Yeah, that was crazy. Now we're here. Celebrating Mother's Day early. Mm-hmm.

What's that? Why, you all gave me flowers? No, those aren't your flowers, dude. Oh, really? No. I thought since I was double-sided, they were definitely for me. Anyways, I just want to get y'all's quick thoughts. We had breaking news that happened this morning.

Orlando Magic fired their coach. Wow. What do your thoughts, Al? Yeah. Is that basketball? Yeah. Orlando Magic. That's impressive.

My thoughts are that if someone gets fired, it's probably for a good reason that maybe you guys don't know. Wow. Maybe it's just, or they were wrongfully terminated and a lawsuit's coming. Either way. Either way. I felt like that was a little, I mean, got almost, I mean, is it because they gave up a 3-1 lead? Yeah, that one doesn't make a ton of sense.

You actually just broke that news to me. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah, they were super competitive in that series too. Real quick, got a bonus pick. We were five minutes into the episode and we have not discussed May the 4th. Yeah, that is. It's my day.

This is my Super Bowl. It's Star Wars Day for those Harry Potter guys out there that don't understand. Big Day today. How are you celebrating? I've never watched Star Wars Day. Wars. So I feel like it would be wrong for me to celebrate, you know? That's like me, like, trying to celebrate graduation if I didn't graduate, you know? Did you not graduate? Oh, I did. So I celebrated, but I haven't ever watched Star Wars, therefore I'm not going to celebrate.

That's almost like respect to you, you know, as a Star Wars guy. When the Phantom Menace came out, and it was a new Star Wars movie for me and my brothers, it was insane to have Anakin Skywalker, Skywalker, who eventually becomes Darth Vader, have a whole trilogy about the story and the rise of the dark side. That's great, Cody. We'll talk more about that later. Right now, I think we just celebrate Mother's Day. You know, we get right into it.

It's Kristen's first time on the pod. Congratulations, Kristen. I'm not to that. She's got three children all homeschooled. Yeah, a little quick bit on that. Jared sent me a text, hey, is Kristen available on Monday, May the 4th to do the pod?

I sent her that exact copy paste. We see where this is going. To Kristen. She then proceeds to. to be like, so do you want me on the pot or just Jared want me on the pot? I did. That's true. Ooh.

I was like, so, this is my first time and you're not even going to say, will you come, please? It's like, oh, Jared is asking. Yeah. So he picks up the phone. He's like, you can't text me that. Of course. I want you on the pod.

Will you please come on the pod? And then here she is. Give it up for Chris. That's how to handle marriage conflict. I also want to shout out. The Hilbert family who gave me a ride down to a college station for the game. That would have been a really lonely ride.

It was good. Me and the boys, though, were reduced to 45 minutes worth of screen time. That's it, right? They limit it. Yeah, me, Owen and Lincoln weren't happy with that decision, but we lived with it. Did you go carrots and ranch dip, or what do they feed you in the hill or far? We stopped a chick filet on the way down. And Buckees. We stopped at Buckees.

Got any Bucs. Which you have a bone to pick with Buckees. The lack of sparkling water in recess was shocking. They don't sell Reese's at Buckees. Or maybe that was just, I caught him on a bad day. You didn't find the Reese's out. There's like 40 different kinds of wresis. Yeah, there's a lot.

Dude, I looked. It was late. I didn't actually, it was that hard. I just looked on the candy aisle, there was no Rhesus. They have a whole Rhesis aisle? Bro, and they have now with like strawberry jam in the Rises, not a fan. They've got... Better for me.

The Rises pieces inside the Rises. I mean, that's, it's gone crazy. It's wild. Imagine going into Buckees, though, hoping for a sparkling water and a Rhesus, and you come out with a sweet tea and a brisket sandwich. It's true. I did say surprise me, get me something good, and you came back with exactly what I was.

wanting. Before we move on, I do want to address, I had LASIC in 2020. I apparently LASIC expires because I can't see anymore and I went to the eye doctor this week and these guys are on here and I've been told all morning that I look smarter and I tell them I look smarter, but I am not smarter. Well, Cody didn't want to wear glasses but he was squinting everywhere in the house to like see me, see the kids and I was like, can you please like go get your glasses on? I was fine. What's wrong with the little... It was crazy. I was like, Are you going to hit the wall? I thought it was a style play for sure.

Oh, no. Did you get it before COVID or after? During. Oh, that tells you, man. Hospitals weren't even open. I don't know where you went. Yeah, I don't know who you got your LASIC done by, but. Group on LASIC is not highly recommended.

Yeah. Save 20 bucks. 20 bucks an eye. That's great. Buy one eye, get the other free. And then we have Allison, who's a mother of four, and how many animals are we up to? Well, we are getting one this weekend for Mother's Day. Really?

Is this a public Solis announcement? Spoiler! What are we getting? We haven't gone public with this, Cheddar. We're getting chatter. Chatter is an orange cat,

a Siberian. And it's a boy. This is an avid cat hater. Can you Google this for me? Did you say orange? Yeah, an orange Siberian cat. It looks like Garfield.

Oh, it has so much more hair than the other one. I was going to say. At least the guys of the air. I look, this is a better direction than your other cat. Than Char Char. Well, so...

Charzard. Say that again? Charcotter. Her name's Charlotte, but we call her Shar-Shar. Like, Shahr. Hayes can't say kitty cat, so he says Titty Tats. Yeah, so that's also her name.

There's a... He's two. Cody posted a photo of his youngest that didn't go to Disney with the cat, and it always takes me back when I see the... You forget that I have that at home? You let that thing sit on your lap?

You let that thing play with your kids? Yeah. He looks so comfortable. He looks so comfortable. Yeah. She did. She's like a little dragon. She's silky.

And I like to use Mother's Day as an opportunity to get me something that I normally can't get. So like a cat or like an experience. Sometimes I plan a surprise. You do this. You do it all. Yeah, because I know it's like something I can get away with in life that like any other day. It makes it easy for me. You can't do that.

So I'm like, oh, we're getting a cat. But devil's advocate here, does that work against you then when Father's Day rolls up like a month later? No. Well, not usually. Well, now you put your idea in his head. He can totally use that against me, but I don't feel like... I leverage it. I'll either ask for a golf day or a lake day or something.

Lysk. It's like, I just want to... Lysk. A new Malibu coming up. I also want to say Disney was a lot of fun to watch y'all's kids. Thoroughly enjoyed that. That was a lot, though. Disney's a really magical place, but man, do you put in the steps.

Dude, my 5-year-old Easton did the Tower of Terror ride. And Guardians of the Galaxy. I was so mad about that. They re-skinned it. I do apologize. Don't want to offend Marvel, nerds. And it was great. He did good.

Favorite ride? Mine was definitely Guardians. What was yours? Hyperspace Mountain for sure. I'm still mad that I rode Guardians. It's like, you're going to love it. And I don't do drops. To be fair, you'll love it.

I didn't know that they were different. So I was going off the last ride and it was like, oh, we go up here. He's like, you're fine, you're fine. We're going up. And then it's like, drop. And I'm like, I was mad. I learned there's six different songs that they use and each song has a number of drops. That's what they told us.

We, mainly Allison, talked to Aubrey and going when we went to Disneyland like a year ago. And Aubrey cried the entire time, like crying during the ride. Just like laugh crying, but like crying. I don't even know how you have the energy to cry. I just like couldn't get out of my mad face. I like to look over at my baby boy and he's like, Mom, what have we done? I'm like, I don't know. Your father.

That one is, that one's a lot. It's by far the scariest one for me. It was horrible. Yeah, I don't like it either. I sent Garrett the Instagram. What was it? when you're over 30 and just rode Space Mountain. And the guy's like crying.

He's like, where does it hurt? Where does it hurt? It's like, right here. Oh, yeah. That is, I was sore. I'll be honest, I was sore. But props to y'all for keeping up with the kiddos. Because, man, that is crazy through that part.

Strollers are hitting shins and kids are running sideways. And you all got home in one piece. We did. You just get a churro in a Mickey bar and then everybody's good to go. It's so true. Just watch out for the churro pre-loop. That's dangerous game. The what?

The pre-loop on the, What's the ride? Credit coaster. Yeah. I preacher wrote on that. Oh, didn't in well. Got it. Okay.

You got to keep up. Yeah. Sorry. So we got, we have Allison's Mother's Day plans picking up Garfield. Yes.

So we have, Chatter. No, Chatter's getting delivered, but yes. Oh, cheddar's delivered. My bad.

It's like a door dash. It's like a door dash and then a cat shows up on the board. Yeah. Well, cheddar and nacho. My mom's getting nacho. The brother.

Oh, I was like, you just went two for. No. Nacho and cheddar. They go together. So we don't have Catboy the Labradoodle. Then we've got Spike, the Chinese crested.

Now we have Charlotte, Char Char, the hairless cat. And now we're going to have cheddar with hair, but he's also a non-hyperalogenic. Yeah, he is. Oh, wow. And then we have Lona the bird. So it's like the cat wants to eat the bird. The dog wants to eat the cat. It's like a whole circle of life.

Dad can't see. I can't keep fish alive. Yeah, it's so hard. I never know when they're sick because they can't talk. Who gets the name right? I got a quick question. Who gets the naming rights to the pets? That's an easy answer.

Me and the kids. Okay. I mean, I named like Chatter. I think Cody names the pets? I didn't name the kids either. Like, she handled all of it. Cody can't name a trick shot for dude perfect, let alone like an animal. Oh, that's all got.

That's all you got? Yeah. What about you? What's our plans? For Mother's Day? What's your plans for? We've been together for 21 years. I feel like it's time that you know, like I don't want to make the decision.

Oh, yeah. You know, it's like you plan where we're having lunch. You plan what we're doing. I just want to like... Let me tell you what we're doing. Country Club, baby. Yeah, we're going to Fort Worth. We're going to go to Maverick.

Played a little par three. That's fun. That's great. See, I didn't have to make that decision. I'm like so much mental rest right now. We'll try to have the kids be less competitive and just enjoy a nice meal. Right. What's the biggest win that your husbands have given you for Mother's Day?

Good question, Jared. Probably just my presence, I would say. what do you think? Y'all ever new card it? No, you're like the bow on the car? You know, like the bow? That wouldn't be a win, I don't think, for me. My mom was a card person.

She was a card person. She's sentimental. Yeah, I would say, like, Garrett, my favorite thing that Garrett does is he'll handwrite a card. And to me, that is, like, my favorite thing. And he's kind of instilled that. Not everyone hand writes a card. I draw the card.

Oh. Let me rephrase that. He wants full credit. Middle and end. That and Burry off. One of my favorite things that. does is like he'll draw on the outside of the card.

What do you draw, Garris? Oh, all the things. Like this last time he drew, oh, he does it for our kids too, but like for Iris's birthday, he drew like a goose and it was like, happy birthday, silly goose. Or, you know, like.

He'll draw like a piece of toast and it'll be like a toast to us like for our anniversary or something. It's always cute. What other things does he draw? I can bring a assortment. Oh, okay, cool. Oh, anything.

I got some good ones in the bag. Okay, you're winning. So it's more about. the thoughtfulness of it. Oh, totally. Just to know that he sat there and spent, you know, 10 to 30 minutes drawing and writing, like that to me means more than...

I didn't know you had a sensitive side. You never share this. He's definitely artsy. He's definitely artsy. He's definitely needs out of love for you and appreciation of the world. Yeah. Garrett's Harry is going to be studied one day. Well, he's a man a few words,

so it's like those annual cards where he really like spells it out and you're like, oh. He does appreciate me. Like, 10 to 20 minutes on a card is way less expensive than like 10 to 20 minutes on Carvana. So keep doing your thing, dude. That's actually genius. Don't ask the price of sugar. I've got to do something.

I'm behind. Not a gift has been purchased. All three sisters and mother need to get taken care of. I don't think you're responsible for the Sisses. Yeah, I am. Because they actually get me something for Father's Day because they feel like I'm getting left out. That's so good. You don't have kids.

I know, but they literally feel bad. That was your chance to save my PlayStation. Yeah. Firstborn. Born in 2025. So I've got to do something quick. The sentimental doesn't go as far in my family. There needs to be some substance, like a T-bone steak.

Where else to be? Golden Corral. Yeah. Give me something. Some kind of gift card. What about you, Allison? Do you have a best-ever story? Well.

Or worst ever. Yeah, there's probably more than worse. So our kids are little. So we have four little kids. But our oldest can make pancakes. So she normally does like her, they make breakfast together, which is precious. And I always sleep in, but I'm kind of a sleep in.

I usually sleep in. It's not eating into Mother's Day. I'm not a Spartan Saturday sleep in until 2. But it's, you know, 8 a.m. sleeping. And then they'll do breakfast. And then I think it's just sweet when Cody, like, the kids obviously don't know it's Mother's Day. So he just, like, leads them in celebrating me.

So, like, they all make me cards and then let me do what I wanted to do that day. And it's just, it's fun to see them all so excited because they're, like, genuinely so excited at's Mother's Day. Like, I think there's a time and play. to, like, go hang out at, like, a spa or something, but I would rather be home, like, and be able to experience that with him. That's sweet.

I don't know. It's just sweet. I got a question. How bad is that breakfast that's made by the kids? With all due respect, there's no way there's... It's actually a known fact in our family. Landry's pancakes are better than Cody's. Well, that's not surprising.

No, I've been working on them, dude. I'm five years in, and all of a sudden, she makes them, and they're all like, these are way... Like, even our five-year-old was like, who made these pancakes? And I was like, Landry is a perfectionist. They are perfect pancakes. Mine are a little like one's a little, you know, soggy, the next one's a little crispy. Cody makes thick daddy pancakes.

I like the variety. It's like every time you bite in, you don't know what you're getting getting a little batter or a little pancake. Yeah. Worried about you, Codes, a little bit. It's just a mystery. It's like a mystery experience. All your engine lights are on right now. Every single way.

You know what? I'm dealing with dial up, brother. I don't have Starlink. Ladies, what do you say we play a game? Ooh, exciting. Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style,

every home. We're going to give moms a list of parenthood questions and see how well their husbands know what they're going through as mothers. Moms will be presented the questions and write down their answers on a whiteboard. Husbands have to guess the answer. Most correct answers when sounds easy enough I guess Did you y'all cheat? Nobody cheated I didn't look at this

I didn't look at our rundown this week To be fair I have the honest confession Here Jared always hands me It's a waste of paper He always hands me The runner show He always hands me the run of show I literally look at the title

And I throw it away He started to never go through the run rundown I like to be surprised That's how I feel When I walk in he starts giving me all the stuff And I go stop talking I don't want to know I just want to react If you want my honest reaction

I'm going to give it Don't tell me I'm not going to be a Jackson who goes and has to, you know, AI generate draft picks. Preload. So he can talk about it. Preload picks. Yeah. It's from the heart.

Yeah. Well, anyway, I'm glad I got that out. It was really bothering me that I never told anybody that. So. That's good, Gare. Let's hop in. It's Hilbert family versus the Jones crew. First question.

Name a mom job you do that your husband thinks is easy but isn't. Oh, wow. That's aggressive. We're jumping right in. It feels like the $100,000 question on who wants to be a millionaire. You usually start out pretty easy. Why are you looking at me like that?

I feel like you validate me and like how hard it is. I'm not looking. You're left-handed? Yes, Berkey. It actually explains a lot. I know. She's smearing her words right now as she writes.

Wow, you're left-handed. Yeah. You knew that. It's actually really hard to be a left-footed? It is. She doesn't know. I don't know. That's why we lost all sports golf

She didn't know. I don't really do things like that. She literally switched feet mid-wind up. Like there's not one that feels more next. Amidextrous, but with your feet? Is there a word for that? Yeah. All right.

Well, we're filming a video later of can we score and we're like taking on like, in soccer. We're taking on like nine-year-old, 10-year-olds and going all the way up to like MLS. I don't think I'm going to ask you to be a part of the team though. That's fine. That's okay. That's cool. We're going to try to win.

See you're coming on as a sub like in the 60th for us. Yeah. Amphibious? No. How do you say that? Amidextrous. Ambipatelism. Yeah, no one uses that.

Yeah, that's not real. So we got our answers locked? I think we're ready. I'll go first. Go for it. I think she's going to go, I can't be teaching. She homeschooled our kids. I'm going to go cooking.

Oh. You think that's easy? Yeah, I was about to say, be careful. He's like homeschooling. No, I don't think it's easy. I mean washing the dishes? I don't know.

Go with that one. Oh, okay, washing the dishes. Hey, stop it, you little cheaters. Yeah. What is it? She flipped and smiled. We're going to half point that, Jerry. I'm a little surprised Kristen's got cleaning on the board.

I thought Garrett was the green first. That's why she said it's easy because, like, I do believe that that's just the natural part of life. Like it's on a chore. That's just comes with living. Like at 5 o'clock, I'm like, places, places, places. And it's like, everyone, dad's on his way home. Pick up your stuff. Let's vacuum.

Let's vacuum. And I still vacuum after they vacuum. The sign of we've done well is if he doesn't still vacuum. Has that ever happened? All the time. Okay. Wow. Impressive.

Well, he's saying how many times do I not vacuum? Oh, that's way less. Yeah. Wow. That's great. To come home and grab a vacuum is. I don't even know if you know where a vacuum is. Hey, easy.

So it's, I don't care to clean. I like to put things where they go. Like dust doesn't bother me, but you're not tidy. Yeah. Clean. Yeah. Yeah. Does that make sense?

I'm not clean. I'm tidy. I haven't vacuumed my place. two months, so. Well, we have cleaners come. That's sick. As to y'all, yet you still vacuum. Yeah, she won't let me have the cleaner every week, though.

You need to get the little robot. It's true. Yeah, that vacuum for you every night. It's not going to do a good, get it clean job. Okay, name a mom job. You do that your husband thinks is easy but isn't. This one's so obvious to me. Getting you dressed.

Like what I want to say, and I'm not going to say it yet, but I would say laundry. Because I like laundry because you can like watch Netflix while you're folding clothes. It's not hard, but it's like... Time-consuming. Yeah, it's not... Yeah, I don't know. I explain it. And then you make the bed.

I don't ever make the bed. That's wild. You clean. I never clean. You're in all cleaning categories right now. It's a mom job. Laying out clothes for school, which isn't that hard

because it's private school, so you know what they're wearing. Like, I hate to say it. Hey, what is it? What's your answer? I don't know, man. I do the trash. I do the dishes.

And what you're saying is, you do everything. No, I just do trash and touches. She does homework. What's a job, Cody? Cody, just pick one. I would say bath time, but we never do baths. We bathe them like once a month, twice a month.

Jeez. Are you going to pick one? Brushing teeth. Okay, I actually did choose bath time. So here's a funny story about Cody. I'll give you a half-border. He said that's crazy. He still brush your kids' teeth, but we have a two-year-old.

Oh, that one, that one's fair. You're supposed to until they're seven. Oh, Hilbert. That's what the dentist said. Really? Yeah. Seven feels. Hey, what do you got?

What do you got? Tell them? Cody, for some reason, when it's bath time, and we have four small children, when we put them all in the bath, he just decides that that is checkout time. No, I got to organize the garage. He'll let go anywhere else. I'm like, there's like bubbles, like, there's like crying. I mean, it's like crazy.

And he sees it as like rest time, and I don't understand that. Like, I'm like, where did Cody go? I'm like, we're trying to get everyone slippery. That's crazy. I've never seen it as rest time. So you'll go for the four for one approach. Just put all of them in there at once. Two in the shower.

Kind of. Yeah. Girls in the shower. Boys in the tub and the master. Yeah. But there's not a good seating area. So I don't, like, I'm going to just stand there and hover over them while they're bathing. He has a really hard time staying in the back there.

I got to go knock out a whole thing. And he does. Yeah. And I'm like, I guess I'm going to handle this. I'm not leaving to go play video games. I'm leaving to go do another chore. So I can have more free time at night.

So I'm either taking out the trash, loading the dishwasher. Yeah, he sees it as brakes. Scrubing the grill. It's a good start. Half point for each team. Half point. Okay, sorry, long, long-winded.

We're 30 minutes in. We got one question done. That's good. On to question two. What's your must-have mom item you carry with you at all times? Oh. There's so many.

Left-handed, yeah. Do you know like 60% of our presidents are left-handed, though? Only 15% of people are left-handed. It's where genius is. Yes. Creative minds. Must have mom item you carry at all times.

Okay, we'll go first on this one. Okay. So mom item, she always has her purse and her phone, but those don't constitute as a mom item. I would say she's always good at having diapers and wipes for Hayes who could have a blowout at any moment. Divers and whites. Wow.

Well, I mean, that one's kind of easy for us. Dipes and wipes. Yeah, you don't have diapers without the wipes. Wow. That's a two-pointer in my opinion. I don't disagree. She's not competitive. Have fun.

Gipes and wipes. I don't know if this classifies as a mom item. I'm going to go snacks. Yeah, that's a good one. But I'm also going to go hairbrush because, you know, all four of the other four people in my family do have hair. So. So are you going snacks or hairbrush? I'm going to go snacks, but I could be hairbrush.

I'll give you half one if there's a hairbrush. Well, I don't really have a lot of mom items anymore. Hand sanitizer. So, I can't believe I'd miss that. Everywhere we go, it's hand sanitizer for... It's like, Mom, I just washed... We got out of the bathroom. Kids washed her hands hand sanitizer.

Are you the germaphobe or is Garrett? Like, is it both of you? Well, no, it's just like when we're eating said snacks. It's like, we just get off a Disney ride and it's like... No, that's a mess on me. You always carry your hand sanitizer. You're right. But are you carrying it because you want them to have it,

or are you doing it because Garrett wants you to have it? It's her. No, it's me. It's me. But not having a diaper bag anymore, there's no dipes in wipes. So it's just really that's literally the only official mom item I have left. Not too late to reload, have another one. No, it's too late. No, you can reverse that. We're past that point.

I don't want to revert. Okay, I'm just making sure. Empty Nestor dude, nine years. I saw Kristen holding a couple babies last night at our church picnic and I was like, this is not good. This is not good. DoorDash. Question number three. What's the longest running parenting argument in your house?

Oh, wow. So still ongoing. Does that happen? These linger sometimes? We got this, Chris. Lock in here. It's not really an argument because I agree with her, but. But we discuss it all the time.

Yeah. Yeah. They're on the same page here. We'll just go ahead and go. It's got to be screen time. Yeah. It's got to be screen time. You don't care for it.

Like you're like, just let them watch. It's all the screen team, the screen time firsthand. It's, uh, we got to be screen time. Boy there. Hey. Longest running argument. Yeah. I don't know if it's great.

The Hilbert boys have a chance to be like master negotiators, like a sports agent when they go up because they will try to buy themselves extra two minutes. So Allison's credit, I feel like if we have an argument, we're good at like finding the solution and compromising and then moving on. So to have a longest one is... Well, this one isn't that long for me, but it's like kind of long. Okay. Trying to help me here.

I like that. I appreciate it. This is hard. Okay, here's what I'll go with. I don't know how you wrote it out. My parents growing up were like dividing conquer. Dad go to Home Depot, mom go to grocery store, knock them both out, come back home, more free time together.

Allison's family is like, we're going to go, me and you, to Home Depot, they're going to go, me and you to the grocery store, and then we're going to come home. Yes. So that early on in marriage was efficient. Thank you. But I have compromised, and we now, we are together, and we do it. Love that for you all.

and we kill a whole Saturday running errands. I didn't even think about that one. That was like our biggest fight when we first got married was like, I'm like, what do you mean you're going to go do that? And I'm going to do this. Like, let's just do it together. We have two carbs.

Let's split up. Yeah. And then now I don't even know if that's a thing anymore because now he knows he has to go with me. I put my tail between my legs and we go. That's tough. But what I put for the longest running parenting argument is Cody. So I, okay.

Oh, parenting. I didn't see that. I know. It's fine. Cody likes electric toys. So I wrote electric versus regular bikes. Oh. So Cody likes to put everyone on like electric bikes and like no one puts any effort into it.

And I'm like, why don't we just get on a regular bike and like, you know, or like go on a family walk? And he's like, or the golf cart. I'm like, or a walk. You know? So that's like we fight about that a lot. To be fair. It's just like normally. Our neighborhood is within.

It's within range to get to the PGA where there's ice cream and a putting green. But it's tweed. 12 miles. I'm not going to ask my 6 year old to bike 12 miles. But an e-bike, we can rip it. It's not 12 miles. Six there, six back. But even to like the park, he's like, everyone gets in a riding car that has a motor. Yeah, this is Cody's obsession with motor sports.

Yeah, I love motors. And I'm like, or just get on your bike and learn. I'm doing it for the ride. I'm not doing it for the exercise. Your legs, kids. That's a good one. So this is better for us. That's crazy. Which one? Me or her? by you, man. I think you need to start walking more. I work out in my hour

and then the rest of the day is just fun time. Hey, but you don't work out with the family like she wants. Got to model it for the kids, Cody. They have PE. Question four. What's the meal you've made the most

against your will? We just talked about it. While Kristen's writing Allison question, when you see like Cody's Instagram and he's got, I saw yesterday with Chase after the race,

that did Lake Day and he's driving the cyber truck with them on the C-dos. Okay, Cody. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about it. I brought it up to us. Oh, did you? Hold on, Sparks. Hold on.

We'll get to that. Let me answer real quick. Oh, okay. My meal. And then that's a funny story. Hold on. I got to write it. I was shocked.

You went on IG with that. I was thinking, man, she's not going to be happy. It was shocking. It was shocking he did it. And that he thought he could post it. Oh, it's not shocking. It was not shocking. I was like, yeah, that checks out.

We should just clarify it real quick. Yeah, hold on, hold on, we'll get to it. Why? We'll get to it. Let's do this question, and then we'll end on that story. That's funny. Okay, Kristen, what meal have you made the most against your will? I'm going to go Brenner.

Brenner, baby. Yeah. Yeah, Brenner. What's a Brenner? Breakfast for dinner. Oh. We talked about this in the car. She, every time when we need to make a quick meal, and I'm like, just make

Brenner. And she hates. You say the word Brenner? I say make breakfast. I said, make Brenner. I've never heard of that. It's such a cop out because then the next morning, when it comes around, there's no eggs. Nobody wants sausage.

Nobody wants whatever because they just had it for the previous meal. I grew up in a family Sunday night. We did breakfast. I love that if you're willing to do like a smoothie the next morning. But like you're going to be out of eggs. Okay, I get it. Mine would be pasta because it's like, it's, I don't know if it, am I, it's because it's like, it's because it's like it's so messy and like, we'll have like nice clothes on and then it's like pasta with the red sauce and it just gets insanity. asked for it literally like every

Pasta. You should get two points. That's clear about the sauce. Literally every night. Yeah, pasta with red sauce is brutal. Brutal. They always stay the clothes.

Yeah, and what else is brutal? Having your kid on a jet ski on the back attached to your truck. Oh, sparky. It was a thing this morning. Whose idea was it, Chase's? Okay, so I grew up. When you leave the boat ramp,

I'm a lake kid, like Lake Rat. Dad would let us sit in the boat as we took the boat up the hill and we would go then like clean the boat off. And so my favorite part was right in the boat on the trailer. It's a mile on a country road. My five-year-old and his cousin sat on the jet skis last night on the C-dos and I drove them

and they felt amazing. It's a little unsafe looking. I don't, yeah, I'm not going to lie. But what was funny is I showed Kristen Garrett this morning and go, Allison just asked me delete this video off Instagram. What are your thoughts? I'm like, yeah, that looks kind of unsafe. Not only delete it, but never, ever, ever, ever.

do that again with my child. Oh, got it. Yeah, it was like a very stern, like, not okay. Like, they cannot sit on that. He didn't have a helmet on. He didn't have, like, any, like, he could have fallen. You can always, yeah.

Like, if you're riding like that, you at least have a helmet on or a seatbelt. Yeah. Yeah, it's very fresh, guys. This is fresh. Yeah, I'm sorry about that one, Cody. That might be your longest running parenting argument later. It will be.

I feel the tension. If she doesn't budge, it's going to, yeah. If I don't budge. If she doesn't budge. I'm saying leave. If you don't approve us doing that, then yeah, we have some problems. I'm kidding. We're not going to do that again, ever.

Happy wife, happy life. We do. I'm not posting it. Hey, if you're a guy out there and you're hearing this, happy wife, happy life. Write that down and live it. You'll have a better life. That actually, though, probably that would have been a better answer for the argument is safety. I am like, and then this is a no-brainer.

Like, you shouldn't have done it. But I am like always on the, like, extra safe side. And Cody's kind of on the like, but when I grew up, I did this. And I'm like, well, that doesn't make it okay. Like, we don't live in that time anymore. Yeah. You know, like, we got to catch up. All right.

Is it tied up? I think we're tied up. Yeah, all tied up. Yeah, two and a half to two and a half. This is good. Next question. What is a current parenting trend you refuse to get behind? Oh, I know.

I know, I know. Don't wait, let me write it first. Before she even writes it, I'm going to say. I'm going to answer this one, too. You can't do that. I don't know. I think it looks optically really bad when they got the kids on a leash. That's all I'm saying.

I agree. That's the parenting trend I can't get behind. I'm like, well, you have a Colty Bud? You have a Colty Bud? Well, I saw Colty Bud tried to run in

oncoming traffic there in L.A., you know. I mean, we've never leashed one, but I understand why people do. Like, I'm like, there is an age of like three months where you're like, a leash would be nice right now. Like, I'm not going to put him on one,

but like I could. And our son, with some of the stuff he had, he had to take a steroid. And I'm telling you right now, the kid needed a lease for about a month. It was just full go all the time. He was sick. Yeah.

Three, two, one. I wasn't saying he was taking HGH for T-BOL. I was saying like a medication thing. PEDs. PEDs and blasterball. All right. What is the current parenting train

you refuse to get behind? I'm going to go social media? Ooh, that's a good answer, but actually they really like Kristen's too. Sports-driven childhood. Or sports-driven childhood. Oh, yeah. We didn't answer, so we don't even.

Elaborate on that, Kristen. What do you mean by sports-driven? Well, we just like to have our weekends where we go. We watch a sport. Our kids are playing soccer right now, but all three of them. And so it's like, we go, we celebrate. Yay, we did our game.

We're done. But we're not like a slave to the sports circuit where we're driving all over the Metroplex four times a week for club and rec. And then we're spending all of our Saturday schlepping from field to field. And then we get home exhausted. We haven't been together. We've divided and conquered. And every night of the week, you're not together for dinner.

Yeah. Where we live in Dallas, it's a thing. So I don't know. thing everywhere else. 100% of it. Yeah, you're more into the orange slices and caprisons for every kid. Everybody have fun. No, not participation.

I'm not for participation trophies. I'm for the fact of like... A seven-year-old does not need to be in five sports at one time. Yeah, and have a private coach for age. Because at the end of the day, even the best person will go to even Travis Labhart who's like, the best guy that you've ever played with

is probably not good enough. Wow. Well, it could have been. Hey, look, I feel like I have to blanket this a little bit and say like, try your best. Everybody raises their kids differently. And if that's something that they enjoy, like, great for them. That's just not our family's preference.

What do you mean by social media, though? Just like allowing your kids on social media. Is that a parenting trend? Not like a main parent's allow it. At the bananas game, like every kid knew every banana's way. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, we don't allow. It's weird because we are a social media company,

but we don't allow our kids on social media. No, I think it's understandable. Well, now, actually, the parenting trend is to get kids off social media in our circle. There's, like, 10-Can phones now, like the little... Yeah? Y'all know what I'm talking about. No.

They're, like, the phones they're, like, we used to have, where you just die. Landline. Sorry, thank you. Yeah, landline phones. Yeah, those. Tin can. They're great.

They're really cool. Oh, yeah, we love those. So then you can do, like, the approved contacts list for kids. I had a clear sparkle one of those. I'm going to do something right now. I'm going to call Euston. He's at home. So we can call the kids on the landline and then like a select group of friends can call them on their landline,

but there's no like social media on it. It's a neat little kid toy they got going on right now. And you learn the art of talking. Yeah. How much that's a landline cost? Eason doesn't know the art of talking yet. So the tin can, like you don't actually need the-watching Netflix dad. Call back later.

Like it's not like the type of cord. I don't know what I'm trying to say. But like it's just you just plug it in and it's just you have an app where you can add people. It's a Wi-Fi phone, right? Thank you. Is it Wi-Fi? Yeah. You're not paying Verizon.

It looks like your friend is. Not available. Easton's not available right now. He's busy. He's playing with Sharshaar, dude. You love Sharshar. Do you all are going to answer the trend? We didn't have one.

I don't really. I agree with that, though. Like, we're not in the, like, all in. I'm kind of surprised that you didn't say that. Yeah, that was a miss on me. I've missed two today. But that's technically, I guess that is a trend, but that's kind of been around for 20 years.

For sure. Let's skip that one, maybe. Or we didn't. No points awarded. No points awarded. So across the board. Or we can skip it. We're still tied up.

Next up. It's a big time, babe. Focus. Dial in. Question number six. What's been the hardest age of a child's parent so far? Hmm. What's that age?

35. This is like so easy for me. I think it's hardest for my parents at this point. I'm 35. I think I know what you're going to put. I have so many answers. What I want to say is like, our oldest is nine. and all of her problems with like school or like social, uh, interactions.

Like they're getting more difficult. The older they get. But I know my wife and we've always joked like zero to two is like the hardest. It's not like mentally hard. I mean, it is mentally hard. It's not the strategy and how to parent. It's more of just like the labor of changing diapers and all that stuff. So I would say Allison's answer will be like two years old is the hardest because the

terrible twos and the naps. This is so real in our household. So, I've put 18 months to two. I don't like when... Well, you're getting specific here. Help me out here, babe. So I think... 17 months to... Yeah, about 453 days in the life.

14.5. Do we get a point for that? What's the rule? I don't like when they don't have reasoning skills. When the child hits 500 days of life on the surf, it is just brutal. What were you going to say? Can you explain your side? Oh, yeah. I say this.

all the time. I do not like it when they have words and no reasoning skills because they don't understand. Like when they don't have reasoning skills, you can't be like, hey buddy, you can't do that because you could die. You know, and he like looks at me like, what? You're talking about me. That stage is really hard for me, but once they're over to close to three, they're so fun. I like, I love it when you can talk to him like a buddy. Yeah. Man, we are so different, Allison. That's my favorite age because of like they can't talk back to you or like reason with you. It's like, this is what I'm doing. And I would say

my answer is going to be different in that I'm going to say 11 because it's the current phase. Her reaction. It's the current phase we're in. And it's, as they get older, everyone's going to be like raising a kid was hard. But raising

a what? A tween. Yeah, a tween going into teenager years. And then teenager years would be the hardest. I think, but she like we'll know now like we're learning stuff for the 11-year-old that will now hit for 9 and 8, but every new phase is just the hardest. That's what I would say.

Obviously, that's not what you said. So she's going to put in six. Three-agers. Three-agers, yeah. Because you're still physically, like, laboring all day with them, and, like you said, they're just not, like, logical.

And earlier, you didn't say you didn't want another one after you saw a baby. You could have played to that. But I get good. No, 11, dude, it's hard. I think 11 is fantastic. Wow. I mean, she's home with them all day.

I think the reality, every stage is hard. Right. In a different way. There's definitely challenges and blessings in every stage. But I think it's, I used to think like, oh, no, like, I don't want my babies to grow up. I want them to be little forever. I have genuinely loved each stage of just, like, watching them, you know, like develop and blossom. Well, that's kind of what's fun about our relationship.

She's kind of like one step ahead of me with kids ages. So I always get to see your kids travel. Like they travel so easily now. Or like as they age, they can just do more independently. And so it's like it is, I agree with Kristen. I think it's really sweet to watch them get to get big and do their own thing. Precious, precious, precious. Question number seven.

Well, that's how I am with the guys. I'm the oldest. So they always see how I've lived life. They take a lot of advice for me and just, you know. To your point, though, Gary. like the uncharted territory. There's the uncharted territory aspect of it. You know, you kind of know when you get there.

Question number seven, what's one thing you thought you would never do as a mom that you do now? Oh, that's easy. Is it? I don't know. Says the dad. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, I guess I know. I mean, a teacher.

Can I write it? I got to write homeschool first. That counted. You were at home. Oh, I thought you're going to say golf. Oh, no. I was going to say homeschool. I mean, I don't think we, either of us grew up thinking,

that that would be in our future. No. Got it. What? Homchooling or golf? Either. Both actually. That's what I'm just.

Yeah, yeah, but homeschool. One thing you never thought you'd do as a mom. You're jumping the gun. You're not letting me even ride. That's how much on a wavelength we are, which... You're down to one. Oh, we're tied now. You guys got to answer correctly.

It sounds like we're tied. I don't have anything that I never thought I would do. I'm kind of like doing everything I wanted. You thought you would own a hairless cat? It's crazy. In all of my dreams. I've literally been wanting a cat since I was born I live in a zoo

It was Ali inspired I want another one too But I think I think three is too many Let's just chill with two We're good for a year I do want to break a cat stereotype though Because I think people think cats are bad

But now that I've never had a cat So I always thought cats were bad And I've always had dogs And we're definitely dog people But now that I have a cat I'm like more people need to experience a cat And break the stereotype because they're awesome I think y'all have unicorn cats

Because every cat I've been around It's just like go away No, Sharsar would just lay right here on my chest and just purr. Like, Hayes is two and he'll carry her by her back legs and just like drag her on the house. And she just like takes it. This is great. Unicorn cat. And Easton holds her like a baby.

It's really sweet. Unicorn cat. We'll take a zero pointer on that one. No attempt by the Joneses. One question left tied up. Loser gets marriage counseling for free on behalf of almost athletes. Here we go. This is big time.

I'll take it. Yeah, that's expensive. Yeah. Final question. What's the thing your husband is bragged about doing that you have already done 1,000 times as a mom? I don't know if you're going to get this one. Oh, that's not how you said I spelled out. All right, I got this. This is easy.

Oh. I'll go first. Hang on, hang on, I got it wrong. Your left-handed, the way you hold your board because your left-handed is flashing me the answer. Do you may change my answer? No, no, no, no. We're committed, cheater. Are you about to change your answer to mention?

No, no, no. I'm going to save mine to... Yeah. You looked at it again. All right, let's see it. I would say. That's time. Let me think.

No, that's good. That's good. I could have. Full circle. Yeah. Hayes is two and a half. And I think I have had all four kids for overnight without her maybe one time. Like that's it.

She's done that a thousand times. Oh, you're saying. Oh, okay. Solo parent. Solo parenting. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a really, really good one. So what did you put? I wrote Changing a Poop Dipe. Cody You brag about that? Every time Cody changes poop diapers He's like, I did it Okay, bye, I'll see you at 5.30.

He only poops once, you know? He really likes to brag about it. Well, because if I'm home, like the rule in our home Is that I do the poopie diaper. Yeah. I don't want her to know. The poopie diaper has been handled today He wants to do.

Look. You want the credit. I'm just announcing like, no worries. Like, he's had his poop. today. That's crazy. Yeah. Mine's similar to that

that it's something that happens every day and I would say I always brag when I cook. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Literally, I will make like a grilled salmon with like this barata salad with fresh beats

and carrots and stuff from the actual garden. And then he's like, that's good. But he'll make like, Annie's mac and cheese and grill a burger and he's like, this is so good. You guys liking this? Lincoln, is that cooked right? Kristen, what do you think?

I did that. I hated that up. Dude, that's amazing. Y'all win. I do that all the time. That's crazy. That's really funny. Make a frozen pizza.

Be like, man, pizza's pretty good. This slap. I'm like, what do you all think? Yeah, it's funny. That's really funny. Crown them. Sparks. Yeah, the Hilbert family.

Congratulations. Thank you. Good time. Well done. So just to clear things up, do you still expect flowers on Sunday morning or? No, I like these peonies. I'll just put these in a little vase by my nightside and call it. Great.

Do you sleep in? Do you sleep in too? Yeah. Yeah, the kids are old enough now. We'll both sleep in. It's going to be great. Well, you have to do the dogs, though. It's not the kids.

It's the dogs. Yeah. Well, thank you guys for coming. We got a lot of work to do his husbands. Yes, we do. But you guys is moms killing it. Thanks guys. We love you all.

This is a fun game. I'm going to all the moms out there. Speaking of which, you don't need to go mom right now. My kids have been left out there. I have no idea how bad the office is. Oh yeah, they've been in the office. Easton's not answering.

Let me try one more time. Easton's not answering. Who's watching the kids, by the way? Yeah, Easton it looks like. Charcouterie board? Yeah, I just left them. The bot phone. Blippy on TV.

Oh, we've had the best babysitter in the world. Is he in kindergarten yet? He's five, no. He goes next year. He's not enough to pick up the landline. Who is this? Hello? That's the cat.

Hi, Haysie. Is that Haysie or Eston? What do you... What are you doing, Hayes? I'm a jet ski. You're playing with... Play Baba. And with Baba?

What did you have for breakfast? Hello, Hazy. Hey, Hazie. I'm watching with Daddy. I'm with Mommy. Dad does work. Dad is office. Hi, Hazie.

It's Mama. Okay, bye, Hazie. Can I talk to Easton? What if he gets on? I was like, what do you want that? He will. It's just doing funny. He'll be like, what?

Easton. What are you doing? Meat talk. All right, love you. Bye. Good look. Made of chaos. Oh, man.

Okay, well, I know what I'm getting you for Mother's Day. Thank you, Jones family. I want one. They can call you. It's great. Oh, they can. Yeah, it's cute. This is great.

Sparky. We're always together. Sparky, take note from it. You can get your mom one. Just directly right to you. Yeah. That's good. I appreciate the gift in SPO.

That's good. Shout out to all the moms. Happy Mother's Day, specifically to Allison and Kristen, the leaders of their household. We'll be right back to talk some sports. Summer will be here any minute, which means barbecue, swimming, golf, and of course, our big dude perfect squad games tour. This is going to be our best tour ever. But you know what the hardest part of the tour is for me, Sparks?

Your 38-year-old body falling apart? Close, but I was talking about missing my family. They can't join us for every tour date. And when I'm away from them, it makes me think about all the things I could do to protect them, both now and in the future. One way to protect your family is with smart financial planning and finding the right insurance policy and luckily finding the right life insurance policy is easy thanks to policy genius policy genius is an online insurance marketplace that allows you to compare quotes from some of america's

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That's awesome. Last week to pre-order. tour tickets are still for sale that's coming up I think our first show is in Charleston June 25 right around the corner and body armor DP flavor out right now in stores get it at Walmart

yeah I got the thing on me right now I think the deep dude perfect interns launch a new channel or something something like that sour watermelon flavor though body armor it's good and I like this little ad here America 250 shouting out America coming out it's great

get it while supplies last. Wait, what about the intern channel that you do? Oh, it's just, like, I think they launched like a new channel or something. It's not really newsworthy. It's just we're, we're just telling people, uh, Jackson with his facial hair, launching a new channel. Hey, shout out the folks, all the new subs from this week's video.

I personally think the right team won, dude perfect outdoors, uh, cheated a little bit, built a house, not a fort, but hey, give it up to the dude perfect outdoor guys. Uh, they know how to build a log cabin. That's for sure. They earned that one. They earned it. Definitely used their allotted 100 hours and then some. Yeah.

But I wouldn't hold that against them going the extra mile. No. Cody's here for one reason, one reason only, and that's because LeBron James got through round one and beat the depleted rockets. Easy. How you feeling? I feel good. I need Luca to get that hamstring healthy and maybe have a shot.

But the Thunder looked good. They have any inside information. I DM'd him and he said it's 10 days. Oh, wow. 10 to 15. So he's not coming back on... Oh, it would be game five earliest. Okay.

Wow. There might not be a game five. Yeah. You heard it here, Oklahoma City. Beat them in four. That's good. Beat them in four. I don't think they need any motivation.

We had the T-wolves beat the Nuggets, so they play the Spurs. Yeah, shout out. That one probably was the most mystifying to me, given the fact that the T-W wolves are so beat up. That one shocked me. That one really did shock me. Go, and. Pistons turned it around. and got the Magic Coach fired,

which I felt like was harsh. But maybe that's what we're missing. Maybe if we beat Jackson or something, maybe we fire him. You know, if he doesn't perform by, maybe we're too nice. That was a really good series. But you don't just walk into Little Caesar's Arena

and win in a game seven. Props to Detroit. They're really feeling the basketball. It's been a long time since Detroit. You see, like, they had Ben Wallace out. They had Isaiah Thomas there in the building. Rip hands and they were bringing up. I still feel like it runs through the Knicks, though.

Oh, this is the Knicks to lose now that the 76ers. I mentioned Minnesota being just a shell shock and I-e-opener. That one was equally as just like polarizing. 3-1 series lead had them on the ropes and Philly comes back and wins that series. And Embed's urging 76ers fans not to sell their tickets to Nix fans. I'm going to go ahead and call it. I think the Cavs beat the Pistons. Okay.

I don't think the Pistons are playing very good basketball right now. No. They did get a throwback legendary performance from Tobias Harris in Game 7. That was fun to watch, yeah, just out of nowhere. I think maybe that the pistons have kind of shaking the cobwebs. I think it was like that nervous energy you get with expectation. That would be a great... I would be great.

I think it would be phenomenal for the NBA to have the Knicks back in. I know our CEO, Andrew, would certainly love the Knicks back in the finals. Now that you say that, I hope the Knicks lose. Yeah, so that's NBA. NHL, I know Cody just loves talking playoff hockey when they start. are not in it. Wild beat the stars and then turned around and got boat raced on the road against Colorado.

15 goal game last night. Yeah, when it's 5'5 going to the third and then you still see Colorado put up four in the third. That's the team to beat. But this is why, like Carolina playing the Flyers, this is why

we got to bring back the 1 verse 8, 2 verse 7. The wild Colorado's a great. He just is checked out, just doesn't even care. Oh, you're talking about me? Yeah. Yeah, tell me when the segment's over. Yeah, I will, I will.

The Wild playing the Aves is a great series. Those are two really well, you know, good teams, but it needs to go back to just the regular format. I'm with you. And it's a disservice to the wild that they had to go through the stars there in round one. And now they have to go through the a abs. And you didn't get any rest,

turn around and have to go on the road in Colorado. That's a tough ask. That's a very tough ask. But then you get a beach vacation in Anaheim probably. Yeah. And then you're going to play Carolina. All right. That's fun, though. Comment below who you have advancing in the NBA and NHL playoffs. I've been really honestly pleasantly surprised. As a person who admittedly has a hard time getting behind a postseason where my team's not in it, and for the Mavericks to be so bad this year, I thought, man, this NBA playoffs are

going to be tough. It's been just the opposite. There's been some really deep series, some really well-played series. And I will say that the NBA, I feel like their playoff, the elevation from regular season to postseason is just drastic. It is, dude. The half-court defense right now, and I love it. I'm a sucker for, like, digging in defensively. Not that I played much defense personally, but it's fun to watch these, they're really grind it out.

You know what I mean? These lower scoring games, half court, more sets. I love it. I love it. I love it. I do have to say this. Cody's going to love this, too, but Nelly Corta, two wins in a row. Big time.

She's their Tiger Woods. She's their, she's their, Scotty Sheffler. I still think the next match just needs to be Scotty versus Nelly, straight up. Well, she plays up a box. Sure. He plays back a box, straight up. That'd actually be a really good match, I feel like, too. I agree.

I think it's not. I don't think it's, I think it's very competitive. And, yeah, LPGA, you know, got to give our boy Hashi a shout out. Yeah. And shout out the ladies, given the fact that it's Mother's Day week, too. Yeah. I don't know if Nellie Court is a mom, but she... He moved on to bigger and better things, you know, and, uh,

Nellie. Speaking of moving on to bigger and better things, maybe better. NCA tournament. Do you see this? It's not better. We need to shrink the sport, not grow it.

Yeah, I've got mixed feelings on this. Because for me personally, is a fan of a mid-major program in North Texas, it does allow more tickets to the dance. Give you hope. It gives me hope,

but I can see, like, it's like getting invited to, you know, your boy's birthday party, and it's invite only, and all of a sudden you show up, there's 70 people there. You're like, well,

I would like to pose a question. Comment below. I would like to hear y'all's thoughts is winning a first four game the equivalent of getting a hole in one on a par three course. Oh, I see what you're doing here. They say if you win the first four game,

it's an NCAA tournament game. I disagree with that. Just like I disagree with, if you get a hole in one on a par three course, comparable. Yeah, it's a hole in one, dude, but you're not playing an actual course. You have to let people know that it was a par three

just like Texas Southern, who's now up to like five. Yeah, they have more NCAA wins. More NCAA wins than the Aggies. It's all from the first. My big bone with the NCAA tournament for basketball is that you're not truly finding the best team because the way that they seeded, if there's a big upset in your wing of the bracket, Duke, a one seed might now get to play like a 12 seed. They had no, like, they need to reseed at each round. Now this was a complete switch on how they do it. But like if you want to find the best team, I think you just, you reseated each round of those number one seeds, get to play the worst.

remaining seed to make it more fair and find an actual final four versus the chaos that these Cinderella is like a U and T can pull, which I think is complete. But that's why we sign up for it. That's true. That's why we love March. So you're talking the first four would be expanded from 12 games. Not 12 games, is it? No, it's six games.

Right now it's four. And then it's going to go up to... There would be eight additional at largest. So it's going to be another four more games. A lot, dude. But we are up to a lot of Division I programs. basketball. It's like 360-something. We've added a ton over the years. I feel like

we're just getting to participation trophy with it. I'm with you. There's a fine line there where if you water it down too much, then like even making the NCAA tournament doesn't have that same pizzazz. It doesn't hold as much weight. So I get the counter argument, but for me personally, it works out. The only counter argument that I would agree with is college football because it's actually harder

now to win a championship than it was where it's like, hey, I'm gifting you guys into the championship. You have one game to win it. Now you've got to win four. It's tough. But this one is like, to Cody's point, you're playing 16, you know, you're not playing like high competition the first couple weeks. Fair. But you're never going to see Sparky

diss the fact that there's going to be more basketball to watch. That's a good problem to have. And for that reason, I'm all about it. All right. But we do need to cap it here. And don't go any further. They say every year. Well, it was a short week at sports. He went to TMS. That was the race, dude. Oh, my son, he wanted

the blue car. I talked to me to Chase Elliott because Garrett was taught how to drive a stick shift by Chase on season one of the Dude Perfect show and he got the dub last night Chase Elliott's still racing Got the win He's only like 30

Would you say Chase Elliott has had the career That people thought he was gonna have Or not as good? Well now he has a title So he's yeah He has had a thing He's lived up to the hype He called him the next Jeff Gordon

He had high Yeah his dad was Bill Elliott brother The McDonald's car That's what I'm saying Like I never realized that He won a couple weeks ago And then he won one yesterday

Got it done against any Hamlin and second. A little 1-2. Great. Did you watch the F-1? You still in the F-1 or no? Miami, love F-1. I've watched the recap. Who won?

Who won that? But you're still NASCAR over F-1. I mean, I... Whoa! Antinelli is coming on strong, baby. Antonelli! Look at that, dude. Yeah.

I haven't seen that lead-of-lead in a long time. Lando did. I had a great season last year, but like, dude, Verstappin and Hamilton, not even... That's a lot of European flavor. Where's the Ferrari? Where's the American? Oh, we don't have an American.

That's what maybe this. You're calling, Jones. You ever feel like your dad's extremely disappointed that you didn't race? Hey, I showed up at the race yesterday, and he had my GR Cup, Toyota hat with the DP logo. With my little net, with my pin with a mint green car. I was like, dad, you were just. With a custom-made shirt. My son got 27.

There's all those gifts that you always get. Like, if you, like, go to a member guest or if you're like playing a tournament or, just like a gif that you get and everyone's always like what am I ever going to do with them? But then you have guys like Steve Jones and you're like that's the reason why this gift exists because he will wear every single one of them.

A little dad hat that has a random logo on it. You're like, dude, I'll never wear this. He's donated. I think the minimum you can donate it's like either 100 or 1,000 on the number. But since he graduated, he donates every year to the Century Club and the 12th Man Foundation and he has a plaque and he adds each year so it goes all the way down to the floor

of just the years that he's donated. Incredible. Gig him, baby. What a father figure. He's something. Happy Mother's Day to Steve. Yeah, I know it's not his, but he deserves a shout out. You're nuts.

We need him on the pod. Yeah, we do. I would love Steve on the pod. If he wants some views, just have him go unfiltered on a Tuesday night. Maybe we get him on the pod when we have a special video. I don't want to give it away, but we have a special video that we will be filming in the beginning of June that, has been highly requested.

Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about that. And I do think Steve will probably have a cameo in that. So maybe we should get them on the pod that week. During an election year, you'll get unfiltered Steve-o. Yeah, you don't want that. You know, but Steve loves well. He doesn't care what side of the, what side you're on. He likes to debate, healthy, a healthy debate.

That's what America's missing. Okay. We're missing more Steve's, man. We're missing some stereotypes too. Father's Day. We've got him on for Father's Day. It will be around the time that that video launches, so that's great. We'll have Steve on for Father's Day.

Steve, so I know you're an avid listener. Never miss an episode. This is your official invite, Steve. I don't even have to text you. He'll show up. You'll just show up. You know the code. He knows the code.

All right, man, well, that will wrap it up for the sports talk. We responded to your voicemails with Jackson and Graham a few weeks ago. Before Jackson went through puberty and grew a beard. Did you know he grew a beard? Oh, did he? I didn't know that. Came and went really quick. So let's check those out right after this break.

All right. Welcome in Jackson and Graham. Thanks for having us. All right. Every time I say that, it's just that people are getting less and less excited to see you. That's good. Squad Games tour is coming up. Could not be more excited.

Sparks is going to be there. Are you all going to be there? I might poppin. I might say what's up. pop in. We got some other talented squads checking in, too. It's going to be a blast. Go to dudeperfect.com slash tour for tickets

and just keep an eye out. We're going to be announcing more squads by the day. See all this summer. But, shall we? Shall we get to the voicemails? That's why we brought you on. We shall. We should. I think there's... I think there's some beef with y'all too.

Oh, what I'm heard. This is my first time here in voicemail, so I'm like, stoked. I'll tell you, my beef. I said that I would never wear shorts again. And boy, I'm glad I didn't. Why? The absolute nastiness I'm looking at between y'all's thighs. I had to bring out the pasty whites.

Dude, those are pasty whites. I should have brought my shady rays today. I got to get my shady rays in here because. Am I that bad? Is it that bad? It's bad, dude. And you don't have any muscle on them either, dude. Bro, come on.

Hey, we're working on. Yeah, y'all have been. I'm proud of y'all. Just keep going. You can't fall in love with the results. results. Well, that would be my voice. I forgot to send it in.

But send us your voicemails with questions, concerns over Graham and Jackson, hot takes, family arguments you want us to settle, or anything else at 972-805886. You can also find that number at almost athletes.com. Let's roll the first one. Come on, baby. Hey, this is Nathan from North Carolina. And I was wondering, in baseball, is there a rule that you would take away? I'm thinking about it

and I just want to know y'all's opinions. Thanks. Take away a rule from baseball. Gary, you got anything? Take away a rule. It's so tough. Maybe the box. I was going to say box or pitch clock.

No, pitch clock is great. Pitchcock's great. Box, though, to the average person is really hard to even explain like the 45 degree angle rule on pickoffs. That's not bad, actually. Yeah. You might have me on the bulk side of things.

Trying to think what else there could be. I think I was going to add a rule where I still feel. feel because it would just make the game and the banana ball does this so it is you know oh the fans catching the ball but if you can if your fan catches a foul ball

sick it's fun it's fun maybe it's not an out but it's at least a strike or something it'd be fun dude or if the fans catch three three over the game or like over the course of the game something happened it just be fun it gets the fans involved what about a home run

but you can like the guys to run the bases. No, you catch it and you hit the relay, man. I catch it in center, you know, hit Seeger on a dot and he throws the home. So there's no taunting down the baseline anymore. Those guys, you got to get around the bags. What was that dude from? Was it the Cubs that did the, in the park? That dude was flying, like 10 seconds. Oh, I saw that. Oh yeah, around the whole basis. Bro, that was insane. It was also the Cubs who had their Henry Rowan Gardner from rookie of the ear moment where he snapped that ball from the outfield on a home run through it all the way to home plate and got him a job. so maybe you go to a ball game.

I would like to add rules. I don't, baseball actually has like, they're doing well. Pretty solid rules. They're doing well. Where you're just like that, like football,

you got to get rid of targeting. What? Yeah. Like targeting's got to go. Because no one knows what it is. Everyone's interpretation of it's wrong. Dude, you're going to be eating like out of a straw for the rest of your life.

See, I disagree. I actually think the targeting rule makes it worse. I think injuries have gotten worse because they're trying to stay away from the head. Yeah. And the smoking legs. I agree with that. It's actually telling for baseball,

kudos to baseball that I'm sitting here trying to think of a rule to remove and I really can't think of it. I think I'd allow fights. You send a beamer down the plate, like allow them. Well, you have a little bit of that. Well, fist, like, they can throw fisticuffs,

but like, yeah, I want to see more rushing. Like, you can charge the mound if you really. But not with a bat. No, no, no. I know. It's like hockey. That's like insane shame. It's like you take the mitts off.

You're going at it. See, I did see, here's what I think. Okay, another rule I would add, this would actually be great. If you get hit, Mike Trout got beamed a million times the other week. You get to pick up the baseball and you get one throwback at the pitcher. The pitcher cannot move. That's fine. That's like on dodge ball.

That's good. Yeah, the pitcher just has to eat it, dude. That's good. He's not going to want to hit you. I'll stand by my rule that I brought up as like a end of show ramp a long time ago. I think it would be fun to have the 10 rule lead in the game's over. I think it creates strategy. I think teams would use their closer in the fifth inning

to go ahead and finish a game and not have to play the last four. I would add that. But not anything I'd really remove from baseball. No, I agree. But a couple things I'd add. Great question. All the way from North Carolina.

Next. Hey, here is Sparky. We're Maddie and Morgan from Houston, Texas, and we have a question for you. Not Houston, I'm so sorry. We think we're going to get a girlfriend first. Daxon, Graham, or Sparky. We would love to all debate to debate it out

because we just finished y'all podcast, and Sparky got the call from Sarah. Hi. Thank you. She threw you in the third. That's a good RBI spot, though. Third. Well, I apologize that you guys are from Houston.

That's just a tough place to be raised. I should think worst city of all the time. Y'all, uh, wow. Y'all are really already fighting an uphill battle. So for that, I appreciate the call. Uh, I feel for you guys. Um, do you feel for us? Yeah.

I guess I'm the only one that can answer this question. Uh, So tough. You get to GF first. See, here's the deal like, I don't think Sparky's actually been trying, you know, if he's tried, whenever he wants to try,

he can get one pretty quick. I don't know about you though, dude. Actually? Like, you've tried. Are you all trying? Have I? Uh, no. No, Graham over here,

he's content with making intern content right now. Just like you were with the PlayStation. You were content with just a season of life that, you know, you needed a game and devote some time to it. Sure. Yeah, just rocking with the sinko. I'm going to go Sparky.

No offense, boys. He's just more seasoned. That's fair. True. Your generation doesn't know how to talk to girls. At least Sparky still knows how to introduce himself to a female, which I think matters. It does. Who likes the, how do you say his name, Ben Abadio?

Oh, Bam. Bamb, Bama. Who likes the guy that scores 83 points and puts up 9,000. shots. Anybody can do that, dude. Give Kobe Bryant the ball, let him just shoot everything in the game and he would have multiple of those. I don't like your strategy. There has to be some

efficiency. Quality of shots quality of shots matter. I agree. Being efficient matters. Matter Jackson. All right, I'm I'm kind of sparking. Yeah, all right. I don't like to premeditate lines. Now let the lines speak to me. Wow. Wow. Yeah. That is a aura. Because it's situational.

It is. You know, if it's a Tuesday night and you're getting tacos, that's different than Saturday at a movie theater. You know? What season is it? You know? What kind of... Situational ball. Situational ball is big part of this.

Did the girl just get her nails done? You compliment those? Boom. Instant. He's even like your fringe tips. You're working ahead. What about a stoplight? Some of my best work usually at a red light

just to turn in a little... Really? It's like a... Gosh, you did your homework. It's just like a little chin and then you kind of switch. Double chin. You got to have the shades on though.

Yeah. Freep forward at the red light. Just like, you know, you kind of set in the tone like, hey, I mean business, girl. I am. I've never been more thankful in my life to have a loving wife. Yeah, it's hard out there. My question is, it's hard.

And this is kind of a scary, important question for me. Do you still get, like, excited to get a text from your wife? That's the craziest question. Of course, dude. Okay. You date your wife for the rest of your life. I didn't know if it was like you talk to her every day and it's just like, ah, it's the wife. Sorry, boys.

Got to take this one. Oh, boy. I think there's an element of that at some, at some, at some point eventually. Like I said from last podcast, you said you're going to disown your kids and he's not top 10 in the world. Yeah. I think, you know, hey, look, not everyone's called to get married and I think maybe you're

not one of them. What is Gen Z's perspective on marriage? Like, are you guys seeking it? Maybe one day. Oh, yeah. I definitely want to get married someday. Have kids. Yeah?

Yeah, I'm excited for it. But I'm not like searching for it right now. We don't need a rush. Like, when that precision shot comes, like, I'll get my sniper out and I'll take it. So, yeah, you don't, you don't need to. You guys grew up playing Halo and Fortnite. I don't know if I would have gone with like the kill shot analogy and trying to find the girlfriend.

But I get what you're saying. Tell me you. Well, Jackson's saying like he's put, he's just spraying and praying. Yeah, bro, I'm cranking 90s right now. It's a Fortnite. Yeah, Fortnite analogies. Honestly, it relates to a lot of life.

Okay, here's a good Fortnite analogy. Graham's bush camping right now. And I'm just, I'm rushing everyone. Just hit 90s. Yeah. Yeah. Well, honestly, no. I think I'm like, I'm in a port of fort like hunkered down.

Just know guys. This will be on the internet forever. Bro's like genuinely bush camping. It's okay, bro. The audience knows. The audience knows. They know what we're saying. All right.

Well, when... Jones be camped for a long time. Landed Allison. Yeah, we go. So the twin... The twins did too. When Chloe that you meet from church sees this clip,

she's gonna be like, and she really liked you, and then she's like... Yeah, he lost me at the cranking 90s. Yeah. I'm being myself, so. Crank in 90s. If you don't like me...

Would you like your girl to game? Do what? Any girl? Any girl to game? Uh, so. Actually, all right. You're about to say something that's going to get us canceled. Never mind.

You know what? All right. Don't say it. Are you open to the idea of email? Yeah, I mean, my last girlfriend, we used to play Minecraft together, so. She was better than you? What happened? Nothing, bro.

Bro, what happened to your last girlfriend? Just did she accumulate enough resources? She couldn't beat the ender of dragon? Yeah, she didn't have enough mats. Dude, what happened? Did she break up with you? All out of mats. No, I mean.

Did she break up with you, Jackson? Jackson. Look at me. Probably. Probably, I don't know. Was it over Minecraft? No. Jackson, do you guys have a fight over Minecraft?

Which world you were going to create? No. He blew up her house with T&T. I don't know. Why are you getting all red, dude? It's a tough, it's a tough spot. How long ago was this? It was probably like two years ago.

Well, yeah, life's not easy, dude. There's going to be hardships. Sometimes your waterbed burst. Did your water bed burst? Seems like you have some childhood trauma here. We didn't do a pack. That was a very, like, random. Guys, talk about a good old, I mean, why don't they make water beds anymore? Do they? No, I don't think so. I bet they do somewhere out there. There's some guy. My father-in-law still uses one.

Maybe that's the difference in being single and not. You say, hey, I've got a water bed. They're like, wow, I'll take your hand in marriage right now. Do water beds like, are they comfortable? Do they help your back? Like, that's a good question. What are the benefits of a water bed? They peaked in the 90s and then they're kind of gone. You know what? I actually don't know the benefits of a water bed. I don't think there is many. And that's why they're, and that's why they're, they formed me your body. That's why they're, you don't see. I can't read that. Can you read it? Pressure points, joint pain and backstrings. There you go.

There you go. Get your dubbed. You're already on the reading glasses. You're 21, dog. Yeah, I lost my glasses. That's a great question. See, I want more voicemails like that. Just some tough hitters.

Deep thinkers. Look, I'm not crazy. I'm like actually sweating bullets right now. I won't lie. And Jackson, I want to, you know, it might seem like I'm going to hard on you. If I didn't have Kristen, I'd be right in your shoes, brother. So. Amen.

Now I wouldn't be hitting up. Instagram, I'd just be single for the rest of my life. Just throw in DMs like your L. I'd take my L dude and I would probably just, uh, I'd probably just get really good at golf. That's fair. Yeah. That's fair. That's good advice here.

Yeah. Uh, all right. Next question. Hey, uh, this is Abraham from That's Crazy. And, uh, if the interns are there, I have a question for them. Um, is it 6-7 now cringe and like outdated? 2026 and I thought it was like a little cringe in 2025 but I just want to know it might be a little controversial yeah this is a big controversy it's a great question it's over

it's so oh it's never been more it's been wraps for for a while but you honestly have to give flowers where they're due 6-7 has been one of the biggest like like the longevity of that meme is like LeBron see I didn't think you had LeBron longevity I thought it was very much like a flash in the pan no dude in the grand scheme of things didn't feel like it it was around. It was a 20-25 banger, but it went out. It's like a Jamal Charles or a Todd Gurley. It's like when it was in, it was in.

It was in. But it should have. It went out quick. Did you ever remember like 21? Like what's 9 plus 10, 21? Yeah, 21. Okay, so I think 6-7 has a bigger impact than 21. I disagree. I think it has a bigger impact. Dude, like

every single kid and their mom was hitting this emo. Like, Yeah, I'd say at its peak, it had more firepower than 21. I think 21 may have lasted a little longer. Yeah. But in terms of-six-seven was in its peak, it was like scary. You can, if you said anywhere near six or seven, like, explain.

I remember my mom telling me about, like, classrooms. They couldn't even, like, have anything. They had to ban it. They had to ban it. They banned silly bands for us. So it was the youth takeover that really made the 6-7. I'm glad it's over. But yeah, to answer your question, it's so over.

It's never been more over. It's cooked. It's well done. Great question. That boy, you're not care at all. He's trying to get out of this segment ASAP. That's a great question. Yeah, next question.

Let's move on. Hey, guys, this is Jordan from Indianapolis, Indiana, and I have a crazy question for you all. Who do you think would win in an arm wrestle? Graham and Jackson versus Tyler. Let me know. Both of us. I thought that was going to go me versus. Jackson, but they switched it up.

I actually don't think we beat Tyler, genuinely. 2V1? I don't think we do. Do Ty is, the thing about Ty is, he is like, he doesn't even, he doesn't even work out. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He doesn't. I'd never see him in the gym. Ty works out, dude.

I don't think he does. He's just, like, he's one of those guys where he's just strong for no reason. And you don't know where it comes from. He's farm strong, for sure. No doubt about it. Yeah, dad's right. Kind of strong. Yeah, he's got three children.

which makes you that much more gravity. Very low set like very, very, very low. Yeah. So,

I do agree. I do. I agree with Jackson. No, I think Ty takes you all. Graham is stronger than he looks. There we go.

Appreciate that. But I don't think Jackson helps you out any. I think it's you versus Ty. I'm working on it. Jackson kind of gets in the way. Then it's wraps on that. Yeah.

So I think it's wrapped. Does forearm length matter in an arm wrestle? I have no idea. Like arm length? I'm not good at, I'm not good at arm wrestling. Yeah. This kind of feels like car jujitsu.

You're swimming up hill. Car jujitsu is rough. I'm sorry, Jax. Dude, I mean, one of the more scarier events I've been a part of. I mean, he broke the windshield. Seeing him climb around the car. Yeah, you don't want to have Ty coming at you to like submit you. He was not a fun place to be.

Dude, like watching him get out. Like it was literally a horror movie. I was clenching my toes, clenching my butt cheeks and trying to run. He's unrelenting. Do you know how big D.G. Michael is? And how strong he is? Yeah. Yeah, he takes D.J.

Michael down. He beat him down. He beat Michael in 10 seconds. Big Delicious is what we call him. He made him look like an appetizer. He's a big boy and very strong. That's an entree and he made him look like an appetizer. Yeah.

Oh, that's a great question. I think Ty gets it done. Yeah. I think you could add Jackson's ex-girlfriend 3V-1 and you still wouldn't get it done. All right, Graham, do you agree with Jackson? I don't know. I think it could be a toss-up. Just say, I think we got them.

be like we're gonna beat him we might have it we might have it's the most unconfident we're beating tyler let's go i like it we should do this someone should actually do it i'm ready to tyler and try to give him a taste of his own medicine you know what else i want want to see i'll play versus tyler what not versus me the slap battle so that oh my slap like no we're actually done how slap have you seen have you seen those videos i would knock you out tie would knock you out first time he'd knock you out but you get like two weeks off i just got i just got tingles i'm like feeling that slap right now Yeah.

I think you should bait him into slapping you. All right, fine. We'll just do the tortilla slap then. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. I like that. I still think he might knock you out with the tortilla. I actually think Ty could knock me out with a tortilla.

I think he could too. With the tortilla? Yes, bro. Tyler and Tortillas. Yeah. All right, we'll set it up. I'm out on both those, by the way.

I'm not playing. But I do think I would, I think Ty can beat you. I think he can knock you out with a tortilla and I think he can beat John. Bro. Is he really that likely? We're literally like slapping you,

knocking you out with the tortilla. Every time I come on this podcast, Garrett is just like, dude, you're scum of the area. No, bro. I don't think you're scum of the earth. You're the leader of the Gen Z squad, dude. You've got to be a leader. I need you to be a better leader.

I know. I think one of the first things you've done well is saying six seven's dead. That's great. It's a good start. It's a good start for the Gen Z leader, man. Now I need you to wear pants on the podcast next time. Is it like, are you,

all like shooting up my shorts or something? No, bro, I'm just saying, look, I had to learn the hard lesson. I also made a mistake and I'm owning it. I need to wear pants from here on out. What's wrong with my legs, bro? You got something to say? Nothing's wrong, dude. It's just the angle of which these cameras Hey, I think they have a shirt.

Can you see? I think I could be a leg model if I shave. I had to change the white balance on ours from my legs. I'm sure we're going to have to change the white balance. Oh, yeah. Graham, your legs are blown out. No, that's That's, you know, I'll embrace it.

So, anyway. Summer's coming. Hey, you're not scum of the earth, bro. Thanks, bro. You're not scum of the earth. I just want you to learn how to talk to girls, dude. Yeah, you're right. You'll get there.

Look, I'm trying to teach my kids the same thing of like, look at the person that you're talking to. Yeah, it's a tough look, especially because your kids are homeschooled. Well, I, you were public school, and you also can't look. I mean, what's the... Who are they going to talk to? Your cat? That's the problem, Jackson.

You think I own a cat. Did you not have a cat? No, that thing was given away. Yeah. Not even. You lied? Sean. I didn't lie.

Is this breaking news? Did they know that? I put the cat outside and the cat ran away, dude. Yeah. No, it's with Sean. I thought the wheel said own a cat. Yeah. They did.

There was a fight. Okay. So, own a cat. I went and adopted a cat in my name. No, no. It's in the paperwork, dude. Yeah, there was a bickering between the dog and the cat. This is like, don't meet your hero type.

stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Dude. Garrett never owned a cat. I did. He did. Don't meet your ears. Does one day qualify?

Yeah. I don't think it does. More than zero days. That's like spinning a night at Great Wolf Lodge and saying you live at Great Wolf Lodge. That's not the same thing. When I have to go to the adoption center and sign over paperwork in my name. What happened when you... Look if the cat would have killed somebody on the streets, I'm liable, dude.

What happened when you abandoned the cat? He didn't. He respectively gave it to Sean's sister? Still alive, dude. Yeah, it went with like Sean's sister. That's like four people removed. That is exactly.

You're never seen that cat ever again. That's exactly where you want the cat. Four people removed, my guy. So no, Jackson. No. They'll go talk to their tree house. Bro, you got to, yeah. All right, bro.

I'll go be there, friend. I know, dude. All right. It's official. The bookmakers have made it happen. Oh, no. Jackson, Graham, versus Tyler Nathan Tony.

It's wraps. In an arm wrestle battle. 2V1. We'll shoot it. We'll post it on the internet for the peeps to see. At this point, I just want to keep my arm intact.

Like, I like my arm. Or are they going to tape their hands together? Yeah, we need to dump tape our arms together. If you snap ties arm, probably get you in squad games. Yeah, okay. That's actually.

You also snap ties arm. You're going to have a lot of people really upset around here. Well, in squad games, would Jackson and I count as one person? If you take together? Like, if it's a squad 6V6, and Jackson and I join like both of us make up for what Ty was.

No. You think we like reach that? I disagree. That's doing that's doing Ty so many. You just, you just buried Ty for nothing. What do he ever do to you? Well,

you were saying if he's injured, if he's out from the arm wrestle. And you think y'all could replace him. Not sparky. I don't know why Grand just said that. That was not me. I was saying like would the both of us possibly like. No.

Dude, you couldn't have 10 of me. The greatest athlete of all time. The greatest athlete of all time. You couldn't have 10 of me. Yeah, see, Jackson, see leadership. That's my, that's my go, dude. Like this, he's growing on this podcast.

It's unbelievable. When you challenge you, man, you really, you really shine. Yeah, I'm trying to grow. Hi, dude. Next. You do good perfect. No. I've been noticing.

This ain't good. That y'all have been getting pretty old. Oh, my. Oh, my. When are you all going to stop, dude, perfect? Are you all going to stay? dude perfect until you're 85, like the old school trick shots video, or you're just going to quit when you're 40.

I'm Jack from Texas, and thank you. Yeah. I mean, 85's pretty soon, right? Jack, here's the deal, bro. I just feel like, why isn't age into discriminatory? I mean, everything else is. You can't say anything, but age, you just can bodybag somebody. Hey, Braun's 40.

Yeah, and he's still. Gary Woodland's 41 and just hit 196 ball speed. I mean, come on, dude. Yeah. For me, I thought once I turned 21, I was like, you know, it's over. My life's over. But now I'm just trying to put it into, like, my own perspective. You've hit, you're about to hit 40.

Like, your life is over, dude. Yeah, I think it's just beginning, man. Actually, that's introspective. I, I gotta disagree. I think it's, it's wraps, bro. I think it's time to wrap. Every stage has a, has a fond memory in your heart, but you really truly, I think, live when you mature.

enough, which I think is around 35, 36. You mature, your brain develops. But yeah. And then you really start living, man. Garrett's also, he is a person who's meant to be older. You know what I mean? Tyler, I worry about. Tyler, I think he'll thrive.

Like, he's meant to be 55 on a golf course doing his thing. Tyler, I worry about his age. Because he's got such a young soul, you know. Tyler is younger of all of us. He just turned 30. 36 or 37. He did turn 37. I thought he was 37. So he's got three years. So we got three years, Jack.

I got three years and then we were wrapping it up and just going to be podcasters, dude. So hopefully he'll still at least listen to us. What happened to my goats, man. Old man father time. It's undefeated. Dude, what I don't want to be is I don't want to be like, I don't want to be a dirk or somebody where you only remember me when I was old. Yeah. I need those young memories, dude. So if I got to bow out early to keep the young memories, I will.

That's good. Retire at peak. The game is gone. You've seen this? Yeah, you got to leave the ball before the ball leads you. Yeah. Yeah. The ball's left.

It's good whistle. It's time for a two minute. All right. The ball just left me, guys. Come on. Has anybody got anything today? They want to rant about something that's been on their mind. Okay, I got one.

Got a little rant? Yeah. Especially for like living in the town that we're in. I see all the time. Tesla drivers. With student driver ticket, with student driver... Yeah, the fake.

The fake student driver on the back. It's a student driver. And I pull up next to them when it's a middle-aged mom. I'm like, what are we doing here? You know what I mean? It's actually a good rent because I don't know really the genesis of why people are doing that. Is that just saying, hey, I'm a liability

as a driver. I'm acknowledging that. Like, I'm a student level driving. You're talking about the big yellow stickers. Yeah. It's like they're everywhere. And they'll post like five of them on the back of the That's what's crazy.

And Jackson and I passed the other day, a car wreck. And I looked over and I was like, Tesla, student driver. Middle-aged mom. Yeah, typical. I mean, it's like clockworked. You go down El Dorado. What's a middle-aged mom? Like, yeah.

Yeah. Really? Yeah. I mean, middle-aged. Yeah. I would say you're middle-aged. Somebody who's definitely not a student driver anymore. Yeah, I'll take middle-aged.

Yeah, middle-aged mom and the tessie. The cool thing about a driver on the back. I see that all the time, too. Now you bring it to my-o-old-junk. I don't like it. But I don't like it. But I get. props because it's like, you know, they're not proud of it, but they're man enough to say it.

Put the hand up, you know, I'm not good at driving. No, you all need to get better driving. Take the thing off. You live in Frisco, Texas. It's not hard to drive. It's time to strap up, baby. So it says these stickers, while ironic, it's a trend where experienced drivers use them to ask for patience or avoid aggressive drivers.

And Texas is aggressive driving. It is aggressive. In fact, the sticker almost makes me want to be that much more. I agree. It's like a baby on board sticker. Gives you a little shot of road rage. Well, not.

What do you want to do with the baby on board sticker? Oh, yeah, I don't know I said that. You're going after the baby on board? No, I'm not. You see the stickers with like the stick figures and the family? Right when I said you were growing up,

Jacks. Right when I said you were growing up. Why are you trying to Jeff Gordon baby on boards? I don't get that. My bad. He's like, I'm definitely running them off the road. They got a dog and four kids.

Yeah. Not a bad rant though, because I don't get those stickers. either. I have a mini rant. Yeah, what's the mini? Pants. My rants is pants. Oh, I got a... Are you anti-pants? No, you're just overly Caucasian is the problem.

And you're blinding people, you're doing them a disservice at home. My rants would be the lack of pants. Yeah, they don't like to watch, dude. Well, I think the couch sinks down so much that it's like... Which almost makes the necessity for pants that much more. It also gets hot in here. It does. If you want to wear shorts, just bring a blanket. I'm not

I'm not gonna lie I'm not bringing a blanket on the pod That's like Here let here let me ask you Is your pod blankies Is your rant about Us not being tan Or is it shorts

Well I was also about me More about this week And I had to wear pants The lack of pants Okay I'm telling you So like me being pale That doesn't really do you

I'm just as pale It just brings the rant To more of a point You know Okay The reflex It's the bow on top I'm telling you

This episode to be unwatchable if I wasn't wearing pants right now. All three of us just rocking just white legs. It's not a good look, dude. It's a lot of legs. I blame my mom. Don't throw your mom under the bus with seconds or media. Why does the mom always get it?

Dude, tanning is not. I know, but why does it always the mom's fault? Why not the dad's fault? Because my dad's tan. I see, you always have a... It's like the combination. Everyone always has a defense for the dad, but not the mom. The mom always...

Dude, she carried you for nine months, bro. You're right. I need to be nicer. I love you, Mom. I'm sorry for him. I don't know why he. Ms. Brown, I'm going to wear pants for you for you. Mom.

I'll wear pants next episode. Good boy. My mom don't care what I do. Just for that again. All right. That's it for our time. We're going to go train Jackson on being a leader again. We'll be back next Wednesday with an all new episode.

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Thanks for tuning in. Pound it. Noggin. See you next time with pants. Wave.