Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect - Dude Perfect x Ben Roethlisberger on the Modern NFL + Best Christmas Song Draft

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

Ben Roethlisberger proclaims that the NFL has gotten softer, talks about getting sacked 9 times, and reveals whether he would ever want to be an NFL coach. Plus, the Dude Perfect crew breaks down Texas A&M vs. Texas' epic showdown and this year’s Heisman Trophy race, learns about a new Harry Potter inspired sport, and play a wild “What’s In My Stocking?” game that has them screaming. All this, plus a Best Christmas Songs Draft you need to see to believe. Comment below on who you think crushed the draft. Happy Holidays to all, from all of us at Almost Athletes! Chapters:  00:00 Introduction 05:45 Cody's Weigh In  07:20 Dallas Cowboys Thanksgiving Win 14:10 Voicemail: Who Is Your Heisman Prediction?  18:35 Almost Sports: Quadball  25:40 Best Christmas Song Draft 36:00 Ben Roethlisberger Introduction 43:15 Ben's NFL Stories 59:25 Could Tyler Be An NFL QB? 01:11:15 Stocking Surprise 01:23:10 2 Minute Warning  What to do now: 1. Smash that LIKE button 2. Hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a DP podcast moment 3. Drop a comment with who YOU want to see on Almost Athletes next! Subscribe for more! ‪https://www.youtube.com/@almostathletes⁠ • • • • Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is (almost) a sports podcast. Tune in weekly to hear the dudes’ hottest sports takes, great debates, interviews with your favorite athletes and entertainers, and hilarious BTS from all things Dude Perfect. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Follow along on all platforms. Listen to the pod on your morning commute or wherever it finds you: Apple: - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/almost-athletes-with-dude-perfect/id1834502483 Spotify: - https://open.spotify.com/show/55gaQm31JIbp6td7QtYsPU?si=6423db3118ac497f Follow Almost Athletes to keep up with the Dudes!: https://www.instagram.com/almostathletes https://www.tiktok.com/@almostathletes https://x.com/almostathletes_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whenever you went to Cleveland, were you just like guaranteed win? Yes. That's tough, dude. I get a card every year from Father's Day from them. Yeah. Welcome to Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect, a Wave original. This episode is driven by the Hess Toy Truck. Wow.

You can only get it at Hesstoysruck.com. Shipping's free, batteries included. It's a slam dunk of a holiday season. We're your host. I'm Garrett. I'm Sparky, and I'm Cody. Sorry for interrupting you there, Cody. Yeah, just the Hess toy truck got my attention.

Well, he's wearing green. I thought he was a Christmas tree for a second. Oh, is that what you're supposed to be? I walked by Ty, and he goes, wow, top gun. How are we feeling? I said, Ty, leave me alone. It does have some top G to it. He was being real.

I'm just going to go ahead and say it, and I'm a Christmas guy. I feel like it's a bit much this early. A lot of Christmasy in here. You're breaching to the choir there, here, thank you. He's coming around. See, I told you. The set looks beautiful. Don't get me wrong, but it is Christmas five.

See, I don't think once it's December 1st, I think you're full, full on. I agree. But I just made fun of Thanksgiving for celebrating that much. Does Christmas get a fool? Yeah. We'll get into it. Yeah, coming up on today's episode, we're going to catch up on all things Thanksgiving. Hope it was a good one, boys.

We're going to talk about the highs and lows of the NFL and college football slate. You can cry. It's okay. We found a new almost sport that's catered just for you, Cody. Ben Rothesberger, the former Steelers queue, stopped on by for a visit with Gare and T. All that and more, episode 13, almost athletes. Let's ride. All right, boys, tell me, Thanksgiving, good, bad,

ugly. I'm so happy it's over. Really? Cheers. I didn't know if you're letting me over. Let's do it. Thanksgiving was great. The day after Thanksgiving, I went to Austin, Texas for the UT. You wanted to go into it? A&M. We're going right. I was going to I was going to see. That's part of my Thanksgiving.

Yeah, I thought we were going to talk about some leftover food that y'all are continuing to eat. No leftovers. I took a lot of heat online for not eating leftovers, but it's okay. I'm going to stick to it. You did. Oh yeah. People were just, I mean, calling me high tax bracket. It's a high-end thing. And look, I wasn't saying I'd never eat leftovers.

I was saying that they don't taste good. He was born in a high tax bracket, so he's never eating leftovers. Yeah, unless I was at my grandma's house. I'm not heavyweight in the tax bracket, but I didn't do leftovers again this year. Yeah, we're a big hot pocket guy. I am. Because even a hot pocket tastes better than leftovers. See, that's what I'm saying you don't have to go crazy here.

It's true. You can eat ramen noodles. Yeah. Well, if you feast a course. Accordingly, on Thanksgiving Day, there's no need for leftovers. I did my job on Thursday. You made a bunch. What was your favorite item?

The mac and cheese, which is not like, I know. I'm not saying it was. You asked for my favorite, though, and that was my favorite. See, that proves my point. Thanksgiving food is just who cares about it? It's Allison's favorite. It's my least favorite. I could do without it.

She loves Thanksgiving. She loves it. She'll eat it at Boston Market on a Tuesday, just the middle of the summer. Why don't you hit them with the announcements, man? You're good at it. Oh, we got an announcement? Yeah, what's going on in the world that is dude perfect. Guys, huge news that you already know about, but this is a quick reminder.

We're going on tour this summer. Squad games is going to be a fantastic live show us first, another group, TBD. Yeah, can't wait. New concept, new venue, new talent. All I know is I got to start training. Yeah, Tyler's already on it. He's in a cutoff today. He just got off the tready.

I was like, whoa, who is this guy? He was. He is either cut off or a turtle neck. It is not in between. Never know. Ty could show up one day and he's like, I'm on day 85 of a donut. And you're like, I had no idea. And then he's like, I'm on two weeks of no eating.

I'm like, what is happening with your body, dude? He goes through ebbs and flows is what I call that. Also, boys, this weekend, new overtime, 49 and a half coming out. I think that's big news of the tour. Yeah, a lot of people have been asking for it and by a lot of people. I mean, everybody and their sister has been in the comments asking for a new overtime. Well, we give you some of that. 49 and a half coming out Saturday.

You can watch it today early in the Due Perfect app. and I want to go ahead and clear it with Kobe fans. It wasn't my choice. I sat at the desk for him. If you're wanting Kobe, it's on him because he chose Disney over the desk. And I hope you like Christmas because it is Christmas themed. Oh, yeah, it is.

That one's beautiful, though, because it's like one over time. But see, here's my thing. I'm with you on you should not celebrate Christmas prior to Thanksgiving, but then once it's the day after Thanksgiving, you can full send it. That was my rule. Wrap the whole house and wrapping paper.

I don't care. We got a new outdoor. Your channel releasing soon and we're going to have Jared Pettit and Ty come on the pod talk a little bit about it. What to expect. Whoa! Yeah. I didn't get a heads up. We were doing a way in.

Here's the deal. I thought that ship had sailed. First of all, I want to... It's anchored. That ship is anchored. Well, I don't agree with this. This is doing Cody dirty. Dude, it's Monday after Thanksgiving.

He hasn't had a chance to sauna this out yet, dude. Dude, I was coping with the A&M loss. It's like 40 degrees, so he's got three layers on which is definitely going to add. duds, sour skittles, and a nerd rope all by the third quarter. Did you drive home that night? Nope, Hotel drove to Longview at 6 a.m. to meet for the other Thanksgiving. You had a double thanks. You go on Thursday.

Then you go A&M game. Then you go Thanksgiving again. It's my life. Oh, boy. I've been too hard on you today. I had two Thanksgiving meals. This has got to be over 250. Texas A&M loss.

I would take the jacket off and the shoes. No, let's take the jacket It looks like it's 10 pounds, dude Yeah I wore it last time I did it You look like a green, you look like green bean casserole Do we have like a truck way station nearby? Oh no

What are you? What's the damage? 250.4 That's another milestone. Not good enough, I went 275 by Jan. It's not good. I'm actually impressed right now. I would have never told,

I would have thought I would never be able to hit 250 when I was in seventh grade. Dreams can come true kids. If you were hard enough, if you eat long enough. At this point, 300's in your future. I had two cinnamon rolls for dinner last night. Dude, I had a cinnamon roll for dinner. Just big.

Yeah, we should quit with the cinnies for den. Okay. Let's just go back to the tradition. I went to the grocery. I went to the grocery store and I was like, dude, what sounds good? I bought a pre-made cinnamon roll for dinner. Yes, that's the dangers of going into a grocery store hungry. You start just grabbing everything.

Rice checks. I'm not going to tell you what grocery store because I'll get judged. But I don't think. Whole Foods. Oh, sprouts. That's tax bracket issues again. I'm just going to start walking through whole foods, not buy anything, just to give off like the personal person.

Garrett DoorDash's Whole Foods. That's when you know you've made it. I don't. I don't door dash. Don't door dash groceries. That's not what I do. I do go to the store. I like it.

It's a way to just. That's the way you decompress. Yeah. Any good things to say about in-laws? I was just giving you all a free pass here. Oh, my in-laws are great. Family is not the problem of Thanksgiving. Like, it was great to have family.

It's just the food thing. It's just, just dumb. But we can talk about what was going on Thanksgiving. What's that? Cowboys. Yeah, baby. What a performance, man. They've got themselves right back in the playoff picture.

Let me ask you this. Can you be Pro T. Swift while also supporting a Cowboys win? Absolutely. Okay. Just making sure. Yeah, everyone's saying it was the worst officiated game of all time in the Cowboys favor. And I'm like, yeah, it was. Welcome to being a cowboy fan.

forever in getting the Cowboys the calls not, they go the other way. You're saying it was rare. It was rare. And I enjoyed it. I would take it every single week. Who sung at halftime? I can't remember. Post Malone. One great. Oh, was it Posty? I was out back. He, ripping nine routes to my nephew.

The halftime show goes to Detroit. I mean, Jack White and Eminem. That is how you put on a halftime show. Honestly, run that back for the Super Bowl. Nothing is bad funny. That's leftovers, though. That would be considered left-overs. It is. He can't do that. You know what I'm saying?

But that was one heck of a, that was one heck of a half-time show. Let's go ahead and talk about it, boys. You were there. You felt the pain. Aggie, Aggie Longhorn? Oh, look, yeah, we can talk about it. Texas, they won. They had a good game.

I don't personally like them. I heard things about the crowd that were, I didn't think Longhorn stooped that low. They were rowdy. They weren't on LSU or Arkansas fans level. Even Texas Tech fans get a little nasty. They were on the Eagles level, though, Philadelphia Eagles. My section was okay.

I was in the high tie bracket, tax bracket section. Smart. Got invited. Yeah, if you were around them students, I would let you know about it. They wanted it more. To be completely fair. That's what I felt. They felt like the more desperate football team.

And there's a Longhorn in my family. I don't want them. Yeah. Who married in? Chase, Chase married a Longhorn. I did not know that. Yeah. So I unfriended her on all platforms.

Good, smart. That's good. That's good rivalry week. That's what you should be doing. Deleted her number from my phone. But other than that, I mean, they deserve to talk to talk. They took care of. They got bragging rights for the next year.

I guess they're going to be going to the Liberty Bowl and Shreveport. It doesn't matter, dude. That was... That's a good bowl. That's a good bowl. You and T would take that in a heartbeat. We're still the little brother. It is miserable.

Most Longhorns I know are awesome people. And, you know, have fun at the Liberty Bowl. See? I got him. See, my thing is It was sad, but I was Sure. Like more upset last year because it kept us from a future.

And the playoffs. Correct. This one, it's like, I almost was thinking like, let's just sit everybody. Like, that's crazy, but it's not a bad strategy. Avoid Georgia Obama. And then head into the playoffs. Fully healthy.

We've talked about a lot. Got to give him credit. Arch looked good. Yeah, he looked good. He did. He's went from like, he's only progressed this year where you could look at an A&M quarterback and be like, has he gone the other way?

No, you're such an overreactor. Texas's secondary is not good. That's what they said. They also said the offensive line for Texas was bad, and they kept arch safe and sound. It shows you what want does for you. They wanted it more. They definitely felt like the more desperate team.

But to Cody's point, you'll still have a chance to get the last laugh, a la Ohio State last year, the way they used the field of the fire. That was the Michigan loss. Y'all have that. I'll have that chance. You might get U&T at home?

I just feel like a top two program. I would consider Texas and Ohio State. Probably the premier like college programs. I mean, you can put USC up there. Yeah, I think USC Bama is in that category. How does you not say Alabama? I just, yeah, Bama's there. But I think Texas and Ohio State are, I think they're the top.

I think they're the top top. They got the most money. Like, I think, and like, it's a disgrace to play in that football stadium. it's a disgrace. Like, can you upgrade, like, put some money towards, like, making that thing better and maybe real grass? Like, is that a hard... Dude, turf is ridiculous. And let's talk about it. The turf is like 45 years old. It looks like... It looks ridiculous. Yeah, with the booster money they have, can we get some actual...

Can we get grass? Yeah. I mean, can you buy a Toro lawnmower and get a couple guys to mow it? I'm not, hey, I'm not associated with Garrett Spini's and thoughts here. Mm-hmm. I mean, you're a premier program, dude. He's going on a rant. Yeah. Save it for the two minute. Golly. Hey, but you know what you didn't do?

What Lane Kiffin did? You'll still support your Aggies. How do you feel about that one, man? Y'all are, everyone's too hard on Lane Kiffin. Really? Yes. Expand on that. What do you think he should do?

Like, just make your decision and tell them way before they make you tell you? So here's the deal. National Signing Day is today, the day that we're going to launch his podcast. Yeah. It's National Signing Day. The only way Kiffin goes into LSU and has a competent, like, recruiting class is if he took that job before. national signing day.

So he went and all the five stars that they had that were wavering committed to lane. Like, it's not a lane Kiffin issue. It's a college football issue. I agree with Dan Orlovsky. They shouldn't have national signing day during the middle of the season.

Yeah, completely agree. What are we doing? The portal windows being open when they are too. And I know that aligns with like the school schedule of finals and stuff is why it is the way it is.

But still, it's a conflict of interest. There's a lot of things. Yeah. Could he handle it better? Sure. Is he like, is he have that like personality that people don't like? Absolutely. But like I don't think it's like an absolute lame kiffin problem.

Like, he still invites the criticism. I agree with you on that. But I think you got to go to LSU. No offense. It's a better. Yeah, it's a bigger program. But you have to sympathize for Ole Miss fans, players. Oh, 100%.

That stinks. It's right in the thick of a playoff race. It's just a bad precedent. It's a bad precedent. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean... Y'all been on that end of it. We have been on that end.

Yeah, the baseball coach is here. But he took a step backwards going to a Texas baseball program. That's good. So it just doesn't make any sense, but... So you're okay with it. You find this more of a... I need to change some stuff.

We need to change. I feel terrible for the old... It's their biggest game ever. Sure. In three weeks. They got decimated. Yeah, and it goes to show you it doesn't just happen to the little guy either.

I mean, that's a bona fide SEC middle top-in program there at Ole Miss. I'm cheering for him, dude. If Aggies are out, I want the, I want Ole Miss to win it all. I'm laying, and I was like, dude, I'm going to, I'm going to hate watch LSU for the next five years. Oh, no, I'm, dude, if Ole Miss goes out and wins and daddy. He gets a million bucks, by the way, in his bonus. I know that.

That's crazy. He's actually cheering for him. His, like, kind of. Where he's leaving. He's like, I'm going to support the. I think you, if he doesn't, no kids should go play for Lane Kiffin. Except yours, if he's offered a full ride because that would be, that would be foolish. No, he doesn't want him to win, because he wants to look like they were doing him well.

I hope. I hope they go out. If it's not going to be A&M that does it, I hope Ole Miss gets it done. Boys, the bracket is almost decided. Still a couple of things left to decide. But one thing that hasn't been decided on the college football front, Heisman winner. No one's had that Heisman moment yet. I think we have a voicemail, Jared?

Voicemail's coming. What's up, brothers? Quick question for you guys here. You guys always talk about college football and the NFL recaps. If you can give me your top five in Heisman voting right now, that would be cool. And if you don't have the stash from West Texas, there might be some animosity in the air.

Jago Rodriguez is number one on my list. Appreciate you guys. Cody, not even know who that is. That would be the lineback for Texas. There you go. That boy, who also has found themselves in some goal line packages. I think Tex playing that up.

He is, dude. Like, how do we get him to New York? Go line package. Sneaking him in a couple touchdowns. Kids are stud, though. He is? He is. I wish they had had more defenders in there.

I saw the current up updated rankings through week 14 or heading into week 14. No one's like taking it. Yeah, Fernando Mendoza is definitely up there. He was minus money on what I saw. He's the leader of the pack. Other than that, Julian Sane, I would say, from a house a house, invited.

Pavia probably should be invited. His mom's not allowed to go though. She's a mess. She seems like a hot mess. The whole family's a mess, dude. Yeah, the brother got kicked out. It's wild. Two weeks in a row.

That's crazy. I blame the camera guys for always throwing the camera in her face, though. They're over Povia. It's kind of like they do T-Swift at the cheese games. They're zooming in on Pavia, cool play. and then they swing it over to Pavi's mom. Yeah, it's on the network.

Watch the game. ESPN's got to be better. Switch it over to Povina's wrong. Throw a brother-in-law in there, something. Throw Theo Juan in there a couple more times. Well, I'll tell you who's not going to be in the race, and that's Marshall Reed. Yeah, he's out. No, he's a great year.

All things considered. I think we're too balanced. Yeah, I would agree with that. It's a part of why the Heism is a team. Yeah. Bad problem to have in terms of winning a high-sman. What were the stats? Can you pull this up?

What were the stats for the last wide receiver? Was it Defonte Smith? Yeah, DeViz Smith. What was the stats for him to win the Heisman? Why, who do you think would be in it? Just curious. Almost 2,000 yards, 23 Tud muffins on 170 grabs. I mean, if you want somebody that to me is not really talked about that should at least be mentioned, I'm not saying should win the Hizman.

Yeah. Is Casey's conception on. Especially what he does on the specialty side too. Yeah, but he's only like 800 yards. Man, I thought he broke that one too on the punt return. With the punt return. Every time you punt to him, it is. I think he should at least be in the top.

10 in the Heisman. Is he? Is he in the top 10? I wouldn't think so, to be honest. He should, to your point. I think he should. At least should be mentioned. I mean, it's like a stud. After they didn't give the Heisman to Gentie last year from Boise, their G5 will never win it, but Mestamaker. Yeah, Mestamaker should be up there. But he's a fringe top fiver, right? He's got to be. Just him making it to New York would be really cool.

But he's thrown for most yards in the country, counted for over 35 touchdown. If you're going to say, if you're going to say Marcel Reed, Arch Manning has to be in that category. Yeah, but conceptional has 880 yards. Yeah, but he has like some kick returns. I'm not saying win it.

I'm not saying to win it. Yeah. I'm saying top 10, at least mention him. So still a lot to figure out, though, as we head into Champ Wienp. Champ Weekend. I think so, too. I think Mendoza would really have to mess it up

not to win it against Ohio State. They'd have to get killed. I think your finalist are Mendoza Rodriguez and probably saying, yeah. Jeremiah Love, maybe. Notre Dame running back. Maybe Jeremiah Love. He's a stud.

He's a good one too. Those are like, that's who it is. The bracket's not all the way set quite yet. Nope. And I mentioned this in our sports thread, but if Duke somehow wins that ACC title game, then it's pure pandemonium. Because the top five rated conference champions get the auto bid. But they won't put Duke up in the top.

No, that's what I'm saying. ACC would be out. But you still have to abide by the rule that's the top five champs. So the SEC champ, obviously in. Big Ten champ, obviously in... Then after that, it would get Big 12 champ obviously in. But there's a world where James Madison in the winner, the American, North Texas or Tulane, would be better ranked than an 8 and 5 Duke,

which would then lose the ACC their auto bid. Crazy, wild. We could have a playoff without the ACC conference even present. Miami. Maybe. They're what, at 11 right now? You might be able to squeak in? They'd find a way to make that work.

That would cause pure pandemonium, though. It's true. I'd watch that. Is it that time? I think it is. It's that time, Gare. Look, a couple weeks ago we found out what Harry Potter

House Cody was in. Who cares? Do you remember? No. You don't remember that? Why would I remember? I don't even know what it was. I think you were a Hufflepuff with me.

He was. So, since you're a Harry Potter guy now. Definitely not. It's not funny to me. The almost sport this week is quad ball, which is basically quidditch.

Dude, I think there's some good There's some good athletes here, man. Just check it out. There's a game in Harry Potter. In Harry Potter, they fly on brooms and have to chase this fast-flying thing called the snitch.

Well, in quad ball, there's a neutral player that plays the role of the snitch with the flag attached to the back of their shorts. One seeker on each team attempts to capture the flag to earn their team 35 points. Goals are worth 10. So, yeah, it's basically quidditch on the ground. This is me watching this quidditch game

is like how Allison probably feels. when she sees me watch football. It's like, why and what are they doing? Well, he's trying to get the flag from the snitch, which is number five in the video if you're watching. Who cares? This is a great snitch, by the way. Great defense right here.

He's snitching the snat? I don't understand. I don't either, but man, these guys look. Oh, what a move. Like, he was the snitch. Got him. That's 35 points. Whoa.

Wait, how is that 35 points? Look at that, dude. Are they all wizards? They're almost wizards So those are just huge nerds playing a Harry Potter game Yes Got it, okay As long as you're in a household where it wasn't

It was frowned upon to snitch Are you all not the same way? Do you want to be the snitch in this? Because this is the tag of that, the label of being a snitch, that's a tough one You know what I'm saying here? No, I'm trying to just to make it sure I didn't grow up in prison, so I don't know.

You know what? Look, at the end of the day, that's tough. I don't even know if that's an almost sport. No, it isn't quite a quintessential almost sport. Really? It's, hey, go put your kids in football. You know?

Let them grow up a little bit. Those are college-age kids. But I wouldn't call those college athletes. I know. I'm saying, you're saying go put your kids in football. I'm like, that's long gone, brother. I know what you're going to say. We're watching witch boys fly around.

You're going to try to say that those are all homeschoolers, and I disagree with that. I guess Quidditch is like the homeschool Olympics. Gosh. Whoa. That's tough. You throw in some hot Popscotch and Red Rover? You got yourself an Olympics.

A little Minecraft after art class. I just want to let you guys know. I am a homeschool dad, so I understand where you're coming from. That felt personal. But the homeschool athletes now a days are pretty good. Because... Name one five-star recruit in the history of homeschool that's ever made it. Football?

Anything. A bunch of girls. golfers actually. Okay. Gare, I just don't think there's a, there's a homeschool community out there that's being Dallas skyline. One basketball homeschooler.

Oh, they're out there. They're just under-recruited school people. Yeah, they're out there. They're out there, but golf, golf in general is one that.

Yeah, who's, who's made it from the home? Gymnist, gymness homeschool. Probably every Olympian. Yeah, you almost have to get,

be homeschooled to get into gymnastics. Well, I mean, come at me, bro. Simone Biles. I'll say to her. Well, you can't disregard her. Which golfer made it from the homeschool ranks?

I just need one. There's 200 professional golfers. Just give me one. I don't even know. Owen Hilbert? Yeah. He's going to be a pro player. Yeah.

I'm out on quad ball boys. They're changing the game. So good. I'm out on quad ball. Serena and Venus Williams. Home school. Yeah. They don't act like it.

They don't act like it. Let's go. Give me some other homeschool athletes. I need a back this up. Type in most famous successful. John White. John White. Tim Tebow, of course.

Blake Griffin. Blake Griffin was homeschooled through seventh grade, though. Doesn't matter. That is straight homeschool. We're talking high school. No. See, Cody's over here like, man,

should I homeschool my kids? Look at this. Look at this. Blake Griffin, dude, he can jump. He can jump. Dang. Yeah, based off this information that I'm getting,

I'm more pro homeschooled than I was before the episode. Joey Lugano. Joey Lugano. Whoa. What are your favorite, man? He's not my favorite, but he is. Bodie.

Trier was a... Whoa. Face of homeschooling. Jason Taylor? Yeah, we got a homeschool, Jones. Starting Monday. Maria Sharper. It's kind of all the unique sports, to be honest.

Tibeau. Was Tebow actually homeschooling? Oh, for sure. They changed, like, the rule in his home state to where the homeschool kids could play public school because of him, I think. I thought Jimmy Clausen was homeschool. I guess not.

Jimmy Clausen's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Agreed. That's crazy. That was a credible pool. He definitely was, but he's not big enough. Clausen was homeschooled. That's crazy. Was he a, did he become a, what was he, Titans?

I forget where he went. I think he was. I think he was a Titan. He was blonde hair. He was a lot as long as I was a Tennessee Titan. You're not wrong on the Red Rover home school Olympics, but I'm just saying. Red Rover, you said that one. I didn't even say Red Rover.

That was good. Garrett, you shed some light. Not a rant, but it should have been, I'm so pro homeschool. It's unbelievable. NASCAR, gymnasts, golfers. But in terms of quad ball, out. Yeah. Okay.

The broom stick between the legs while you're playing is just overkill. Yeah. I agree. All it takes is that stick to go one direction and you're in trouble. It does take hand-eye though. Wow, a lot. No hockey players run that homeschool list, so that's kind of crazy. Anyways, yeah, this is going to be the next team building competition.

It's going. That's crazy, dude. I don't like the, I don't like the ball. I thought it was just a flag, but it's actually a ball attached to it. It's like a tail. I don't like it. How do they get this wrap? Where did this ref come from?

How does he know the rules? He's been in a Saturday out there. They're hyped though, man. Don't leave your broomstick there, buddy. Do they have that carbon fiber Eastern broomsticks or is it just kind of grab one from the house? B-Y-O-B.

And B-Y-O-B-W-W-Y-A-B-W-W-E. Hey, I'm ready to move on. That's enough Harry Potter. You've got me on here two weeks in a row doing Harry Potter stuff. Bro, that's why we do it. It's because you're such a fan. I'm not.

Dude, this is a safe thing. space. Move along. This is a safe space, dude. You can admit it. You can admit it. It's okay. I don't even understand it.

Okay, you're right, dude. Look, comment below if you guys think that that's a almost sport or if you find any other almost sports that we should talk about, send them in. But to Cody's point, I think it's time to move on. I like it. Fitting the theme here. Just do a little Christmas song draft. Last week we told you guys we opened up our voicemail box for holiday related questions.

If you got a hot take, a funny family story. Come on. Call in 972-805-8866 or almostathletes.com. We already got some. We would love to hear more. Let's go. But let's get into it, boys. Best Christmas song draft.

We're only going three here because there's not a lot of them. And right off the bat, you want me to start? If you want to start, I have a number one pick. I just hope it doesn't get taken. See, I'm worried about that too. I know. But you're not going to take mine. Really?

Yeah, I think it's, I think. All I want for Christmas. Number one, Mariah Carey. No. That was yours? Yeah. No. Wow, could she go there in that song?

Man, I mean, how much money does that lady make every Christmas season? How are you guys not sick of that song by now? I'm a sick of it. It drives me insane. That's too much. It's too much Mariah. It's seasonal. I'm not listening to it in June, Jared.

She makes $3 million a year. Wow. That's incredible. Is she even write it? It was like a remake. No way she wrote it. Well, I'm saying. Also co-writes.

Yeah, she did. she wrote it. She wrote it. She wrote it. She earned those royalties. I'm going to go with a unique pick. I think the greatest Christmas movie of all time is Elf. And in that movie, the Santa guy gets told there's no singing on the North Pole. And then Buddy the Elf says, I'm singing that song. I thought you were going to give us a little preview there. I don't sing well. Oh, boy. That's a good scene, though. It is a good thing. It's a scene. Bad song.

And we're doing Christmas songs here. Okay. What have we got? What have we got, Sparks? Let's take it back old school to an absolute classic. It's Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, guys. You know, Miss Claus and Mr. Claus get there. Kudos every Christmas.

But when you talk about the reindeer, they're often forgotten. It's like good special teams. And Rudolph, while he is the leader, they deserve more. Comic, Cupid, Donor, Blitz, and every single one of them, they're providing Christmas cheer, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, easy. Well, you got a snake draft this, so what are you following that up with? Now I'm running out of Christmas songs. I'm very much like a December 22nd around 11 p.m. is when I start my Christmas music. I mean, dude, like jingle bells up there.

Jingle bells is pretty good. Maybe a little too mainstream for me. Wow. I'm going to go for a pop culture play here. Missletoe. Bebes. Justin Bieber. You've got to be kidding me. No. It's a good song, dude. It's a good song, dude. It's a jam. You obviously hadn't heard it, have you? Oh. By Bieber and pretty good. Because Justin's version is the best. Under the Missile to with you. On to the...

Shot it with you. Catchy. Yeah, it's a brutal song, dude. I don't know why I put it number two. But that's like following Buddy Elf song. There's no way you can repair this draft. You're right. That's the biggest bust of a first-round pick I've seen since Marcus Russell.

All right, I got to redeem myself. I think Mary did you know. Yeah. That is just a, it's a slow starter, and it just bangs at the end. It really depends on which version do you like. Do you have a favorite version? The version that's...

Like, the artist who sings it. What about penitonics, I think, sings that one? That's a good one. Well done. You don't even know how you just pick the song. They do the... That's penitonics? Yeah, those guys.

They just use their mouths. That's the crazy. Graham, dude, help me out here. This is brutal. Aren't they tongues only? You're a theater guy. They sing with no. Like they beatbox and do all the music themselves.

Sing us a little Mary, did you know, dude? I'll do the tongue clicks and you'll do the singing. You're a singer, bro. What is wrong with you? Just sing. Come on, Graham, rip it. Mary did you know? Pretty good.

There we go. And he added the tongue clicks too. Yeah, that was great. How long do you think it took for Mary to actually know? I think she got it pretty quick. Eight months? Are you serious? Well, I was reacting.

It was more of a joke. This is crazy. She knew before. Exactly. I know, I'm just saying it was, never mind. So, delete all that. Just based off the fact, it's a rhetorical question.

Mary, very well, was in the no. For that reason, I think your second round picks leaves a little to be desired. At the end of the day, the song is powerful in regards to, like, the lyrics are saying. I mean, obviously she was told, but then, like, all the things

that Jesus went on to do in his life is like, did you, you know, like, did you really know he was going to grow up to be, you know, obviously? And I think she did. I agree homeschool showing that's great

I'm a home school dad dude I'm a homeschool dad oh look second draft I'm gonna go oh holy night yeah it's a good one yeah it's a classic there's nothing better

than a Christmas Eve service candle lit Christmas Eve service you light them up you're singing you know silent night this is honorable mention

ties reindeer got COVID song and Rudolph's got COVID no no I ain't gonna sugar code Rudolph's got COVID Mrs. Claus find out and her mind exploded

Rudolph's got COVID Dude you should put that as your third round pick Because it is a darn good song You should switch mine from Buddy's Elf song to that one Like it, tie it? I don't want to give it. I hope Ty didn't let me do that. I'm gonna switch that.

I'm gonna go Rudolph's got COVID instead of Buddy the Elf because I don't think the Elf song can be found on Spotify or any of those platforms. How about we dual package here first round picks because both are pretty bad and we're feeling bad for you. All right, I've got a classic. It was by far my number one in like third grade.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer. Mm-hmm. Sing it, yeah. Grandma got run over by a reindeer. That's all. It was the next line. That's good. Some, some. On Christmas Eve. Yeah, that is great.

Oh, you should do Adam Sandler's Happy Hanukkah. Oh, it would have missed off by you. Would that be a Christmas song or a Hanukkah song? No, but it's like you got to throw. our Jewish friends of walking. What is it? Of Grandma got run over by a reindeer.

Ah, she's been drinking too much eggnog. Is that what it says? Yeah. That's good. She forgot her medication. This isn't right. She forgot her medication. Grandma got run over my reindeer.

And she staggered out the door into the snow when we found her Christmas morning. She had a hoof. The prince on her forehead is woof. Yeah, see that might be a little dark for me on Christmas. And grandmothers are like.

And now we're also. proud of grandpa he's been taking this so well i did think she died it sounded like yeah it's sound like grandpa may have orchestrated it that's what yeah yeah dark song there all the family's dressed in black yeah i think i think she makes it through the song i think that one verse is a good verse that's about it really bad draft cody some of course i've ever seen i think a lot of people will really appreciate it you gotta have a you got to have another pop culture up your sleeve on this one my final pick yeah a little insubes Incinct, dude. What's that in sync song? Oh, Merry Christmas Happy holiday. Yes. Merry Christmas

Happy holiday. No, you could, but I shouldn't. But I've been on the side of like not being an in sync guy. It was more of Backstreet Boys. Were you? Really weird to flip it. Yeah. Yeah, more prone to the B Street boys. I mean, B Street boys probably sing some Christmas songs. What about? What about, um, what about hire by Creed? Can you take me higher? He's talking about the sleigh. He's talking about the sleigh. He's talking about it. He's not talking about it. Yes, he is. That's a great thing. You take me high. And that Santa is talking to his reindeer to make sure they're flying at the proper elevation. I didn't even think that was a Christmas song and how you say it. It makes so much sense. Is that the FAA?

Right? Aviation? Yeah. They, he has to abide by all that. What about the Hanukkah song? Hire by Creed. Hire by Creed.

Came out in 99. That's a trash draft you had. Wow. Okay, guys. Boys, I think we're going to take a lot of. heat based off the fact that Boubley was not. Voice of an angel, dude, that guy. All right.

Any last changes you want to make? Bublay can make the alphabet sound good. Like, I mean... The viewership is going to love my three picks. I agree. I don't think they're going to love number two, but the one and three picks they're going to love. That's a classic.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas is a miss, man. That's a miss. But then it also doesn't resonate here at home. The whole, like, it's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. because generally it might be 84 degrees on Christmas evening. It's not feeling like Christmas. Ooh, put me on the spot home, too. I'm a home to-low-to.

Lost in New York. What about you? Grinch. Jim Carrey. Oh, the, okay, not the animated one. No, I think it was his best work. Yeah, I'm a home-alone guy myself as well. That a boy.

Kevin McAllister, but you can't pick it if he picked it. Oh, sure. If you picked it, then I'm going, then I'm going Santa Claus. Tim Allen. Yeah, yeah. That's a good one, too. Hit us with the comments of your favorite Christmas songs and or movie. Let's talk about how bad Cody's draft was.

How bad our voices are. I mean, you name it. Just comment it. It's going to be a fun, fun chat. I'm ready to touch some stockings. Well, you got to wait because we had the Steelers great, Ben Rathesberger in the studio. We had a great chat with them.

All things from just his career to golf. Are we talking about his weight? Put him on the scale. we talked about his weight. He's definitely over 250. We talked about his weight. This episode is driven by the Hess Toy Truck. For over 60 years, the Hess Truck has been one of the most iconic Christmas gifts a kid can get. That's right. Gee, it's not only a toy, it's tradition. We all had that Hess truck moment on Christmas morning, and now your kids can experience that same magic. The Hess truck may be the name of the brand, but they've had all sorts of vehicles over the years, planes, helicopters,

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You can only get it at Hess toy truck.com. but shipping's free and batteries are included. Get yours today. Today's guest is someone who needs almost no introduction. He's a two-time Super Bowl champion, future Hall of Famer, and the longtime face of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Off the field, he's a dedicated dad, outdoorsman, a guy who loves to golf, hunt, grill, and laugh,

and the host of his own show, footballing with Ben. He's got stories for days from wild NFL moments to life and retirement and everything in between. Please welcome. Big Ben, Rathless. Spirger! Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks for having me, folks. I wrote that myself. Honestly, I think you should go back to be in the face of the Steelers. They don't have an identity. We're all right. Are you still involved at all? Not really.

I still have a few friends on the team that played when I was there, Boswell and Cam and TJ and some of those guys. Boswell is still kicking? Oh, he's the number one in the NFL. I know the guy was kicking when I was three years old. Is he the one that is like leading the NFL and scoring? Is he the kicker?

He doesn't miss. When he misses everyone, I was like, oh. Like I think he has more points than any current NFL player. Probably. Yeah, it was some. Which is good in back because it means your offense isn't scoring. That's true.

That is true. But no official capacity with the team. No, none whatsoever. I think at some point it would be fun to kind of get back involved. You know, probably not as much as like the L-O-A where you're like a GM, nothing like that. I'd love to pull like the Marino or the Jim Kelly where they're just kind of like, you know, oh, you want to ask a question?

I'll talk about it. It'd be kind of a little facet. That'd be fun at some point. But I don't, I don't know. Some ownership would be. cool at some point, but that's down the real. Yeah, you guys go to a lot of games? Take the boys? The boys would go to,

the kids would go to every game if they could, but you know, getting to a game and traffic and getting home is just a pain and my couch feels so comfortable to watch the game and I can see the replay. So we usually get to a couple. We've been to one this year. This is the 20th anniversary of our first Super Bowl. Super Bowl,

Super Bowl 40 was this year. A bunch of the guys came back, part 35 guys and coaches came back, so they did a little something special at the game and honored those guys. And And then we'll go back to one more later in the year. That was the first one y'all won? Yes, 20 years. Yeah.

Remember y'all could have won that one in 95, 96, but. Darned. Somebody else took care of it. 95 and 96? I was in high school, who would they play? Cowboys, man. Yeah. It was, uh, yeah, darn.

That was the last win we had to be fair as a cowboy fan. What was your, what was your last year plan? Last year playing was what? 2002. I think what you were in? Yeah, 2002, I think. Okay. This was my third year out.

No. No, why? 2000. Like, 20, right? There was like two in there. I'm trying to do that in my head.

Of course, guys. So you're, you're 80? How old? 82? 22. I just, oh, man.

22. That makes more sense. That one checks out. You guys were looking at me like, no, I'm like, do they know how long I've been out more than me? He's been out of the game for a long time. Holy cow.

He's really good. How many sacks did you take? A lot. We have a blue tent set up. Let's get something set up. Okay. All right. So no official capacity with the team, no desire to go into coaching.

Have you done any like little league coaching yet? You've been? Yeah. Coaching the kids. Yeah. You know, people ask me all the time, why don't you do broadcasting, go into that stuff? And honestly, I want to be home. Like, broadcasting and coaching is brutal.

Is worse than being a player. Like, you're so much more time. And so I've got three kids. I've got a 12-year-old who turns 13. in a couple days, I've got an 11-year-old daughter and then a nine-year-old boy. And so, and my wife's in seminary. So I'm her personal assistant and I'm taking care of the kids. I'm running them everywhere. So it's just a lot of fun to spend time with them. She's in seminary. She's going to graduate this May. Which one? Denver Seminary? Nice. Yeah. That's cool, dude. I didn't know

that. She's way smarter than me. Way smarter. That's awesome. But no, yeah, so anyway, that's why I don't do broadcast or coaching because I just get to spend so much time with the kids. And that's, I feel like, you know, my young, I said my youngest is nine, and he's going to be out of the house at what, like 17, that's eight years. Like, and then it's so it's like, I'm just dedicating the next, you know, eight years. Are you, uh, Mr. Carpool, dad? Absolutely. I'm the front of the line.

Drop off and pickup? Yeah, absolutely. I'm just a drop off guy. No, if I, if I'm not in the front, if I'm not the first one to pick up, my kids get mad, too. Like, what? What's up, dad? I'm like, sorry, I'm a little late. Sorry.

I'm number two, are you, oh, no, I was going to ask. We homeschool. Yeah, I was going to ask if you were a drop-off guy. No. I mean, technically. Technically, yes. You don't do the teaching? No, no.

I've, you know, I always say we homeschool, that's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. I've never been to one class. My wife homeschools. She's great at it. So during COVID, obviously, when... That's why.

So that's what happened. That's when we started. My oldest was going into kindergarten when COVID hit. Yeah. And so we were just like doing the homeschool thing. And just we loved it. And we traveled a lot. So we take our boys and our daughter to some, you know, to tour or like go to Europe and it's fun.

During COVID, I was the gym teacher. There you go. You know, like that's, no, mom takes care of all the important stuff. And I'm like, hey, guys, let's go run some laps. An important class. I think so. I took gym every year. You don't get credit for it your last year, but I still took it.

Yeah, that's a good point. Is all the kids golf or? The boys do. My daughter doesn't shoot. Funny story. Shoot, because I know you'll appreciate it as a golfer. She was on the range. Like sometimes we'll go to the range and just, you know, the whole family will go.

Yep. And one point she's getting ready to hit balls. You know, she's hitting. And she's just kind of like, she's swinging. Whatever. She's a softball player, you know, softball volleyball does horse riding. But she's sitting ball. And I was like, hey, I'm like, hey, Bay, if you want, her name's Bailey.

I said, hey, Bay, if you want, she goes, hey, dad. She goes, I'm not out here to get better. I'm like, oh, okay, I apologize. Like, go ahead and just, just hack it around a little bit. And sure enough, her older brother, who is a very good golfer says, hey, hey, Hey, Bailey, you know if you, she was, did you not hear me just tell dad? I'm not here to get better. So she doesn't play, but the boys do. My youngest just got into about two years ago and made it all the way to the last round before the drive you and put to make to Augusta. Oh yeah. And he's just a like he doesn't even take. He just waxed it. He's just, he's just naturally. The third one of the youngest, just athletic ability. So what did you play growing up other than football? Basketball and baseball. Basketball baseball? Did you golf then or no?

I mean, at golf, we didn't have any money to go to a golf course. Yeah. Like I was in the back. You're playing from like that tree to that tree. Yep. You know, and so, which is why I think I have a pretty good short game, but basketball is my favorite. I love,

it's still my favorite sport. I love basketball. Do you still play? I did play. We had a group of guys that got together and played once a week, just like for fun, not like no one's trying to make a team. Just a condition, right?

It's the best way to stay in shape, I think. And then I kind of herniated three disc and decided it. I thought it was just muscular. You know, I'm like, I'm fine. And I kept playing through it because that's what I do. And you didn't, you know, 42 years old.

at that time. I'm like, what am I doing? And then at one point, I'm walking through the house, and the only way I can get through the house is like hunched over. My wife's like, what are you doing? And I'm just, I'm okay, it'll be fine. She was, you need to see somebody. And sure enough, I had 380 discs. That's, that's the end of the days. You know, when you retire in 2002 or no two, man. You start feeling those injuries differently. Yeah. So you played with a lot of, a lot of talented individuals. Yes. What happens you play for 18 years? You put up. A lot of people.

There's a lot of people that rolled through that building. Did you ever have, like, a, I mean, do you ever have a guy in the locker room that you leaned on outside of you that was like a big leader? Like, you know, that you could say, like, oh, this guy controls the locker room. You know, one of the coolest stories I like to tell people is when I got to Pittsburgh, Jerome Bettis was obviously there. Jerome is a Hall of Fame. I mean, he's a great dude. If you guys don't, I mean, if you don't know him, he's a great dude. And I remember walking in the first day and I had my playbook and then a notebook and then a notebook on top of it.

And I'm, you know, two hands carrying like the first day of school. And he walks out and I'm like, holy cow, this Jerome Bettis. And I'm thinking, like, at the time, you're like, we're not peer. Like, we're not teammates. That's Jerome Bettis. I probably played video games with him on it a little bit ago. And he walks up and I'm holding it. And he opens the top page of my notebook.

And he writes, he writes bus and he writes his phone number. And he shuts in. He goes, anything you need, anything you want. I've either got it, been there, done it. Call me, don't be afraid. And you're like, and you felt it was genuine. You know what I'm saying? You felt like he really cares.

about that. And so that's just a guy that is as awesome as you could ever imagine and a good dude. And just that really stuck with me. You know, like, man, what would and going through the season, like, what would Jerome do here? Because he was a constant professional, great teammate. And I'll

unfortunately play two years with him, but being able to help him get to Detroit and win a Super Bowl at his hometown, that was something really special. So he's a guy that I'll never forget just, again, it was such a short time, but it was just really fun to play with him. That's incredible. All right, being to QB, you have, I mean, you're built on receivers. Did you ever have a go-to guy?

Like, you know, your fourth down plays, your third down, your third and longs. Like, you're like, I'm going to this guy. Well, I was fortunate to play with some really, really good wide receivers. And early in my career, obviously, Heinz Ward. Yeah. I mean, one of the toughest guys known. They made rules because of him because the weight would block

and this toughness. Yeah. A guy that you just trusted was going to catch the ball and get a first time. We used to joke. Like, if he got inside the 10-yard line, like he was selfish for the end zone. Like he's like, I'm getting in the end zone. You're gonna, I'm gonna drag five people.

Yeah. It doesn't matter. So lucky, you know, blessed to play with him early. And then there was a guy that I play with for a long time. And I'll call him a receiver, even though he's a tight in. Heath Miller. Heath Miller out of Virginia was, was my go-to guy. He was one of those guys that, you know, if you're gonna, if we're gonna play backyard football, I'm taking that dude.

You know, he's probably not the like the fastest. Yeah. But he's a dude that just understood football, understood. You know, you, for people watching this that watch nowadays, it'd be like Kelsey, right? You watch Kelsey and Mahomes. When you watch the, when they show like the replay, you're like, that's not a route. Like that, that there's no way the playbook says, do this. Just getting open.

Yeah, no what I'm saying. And so that's what Heath would. Heath would just find a way to, he'd run his route and then he'd slide this way. He'd know how to get open. So, and he was just, he was Mr. Reliable. He is fun because I tell stories. Everyone knows why receivers are divas, right? They're always open.

Yeah. They always need the ball. And so back in the day, we used to, have the paper pictures. So nowadays they have the tablets and you look at the plays from the on the tablet and you can scroll through it. Back in the day, we had picture, they took a picture of it. And so you had to look at the pictures. Ashman cameras were invented. Yeah, back when he played, 2002. 2002. But, you know, anytime you would come off the field, you'd ask, like receivers were always open. Like, hey, were you open? Like, hey, were you open? Like, hey, did I miss you what happened?

And receivers are always like, I was wide open. We look at the pictures. There's like three guys around, right? He thought, I'd be like, hey, you know, were you open? He goes, no, I don't, you know, probably not. You made the good decision. I'd look at the picture he was wide open. You know, like just selfless, like a good dude. And then obviously one of the most skilled wide receivers that ever played the game was Antonio Brown. Just, I mean, he could do some amazing things on the field. So those are kind of three guys

that popped to mind, but all the guys I played with had some special skills. You had some good go-to guys that were around you. Good ones. I mean, even, you know, late in my career, playing with Juju, Smith Schuster. Yeah. I mean, a guy that wasn't known to be fast, but has, I think, two 90-plus yard touchdowns in his career with me. You know, so it's pretty cool. And you had some, you played for Thomas.

right? Yeah, for almost, all about three or four years. Yeah, but you also got to play with, Coach Cowher? Yeah, Coach Cowher? Yeah, Coach Cowher,

or the chin. You knew, you knew it was like, he was, he was notorious for just, I mean, spitting on you because he just,

he was, that's a one game suspension. That's incredible. Oh, oh, I see what you did that. See that.

And just give you, he'd, he'd pulled that down a lot. He'd look at you. Give you one of you. Oh, yes. Okay, Coach Carr, sorry,

sorry, but. Sorry about that. He was great. Hall of Fame coach, awesome guy. That's incredible. Well, we just got done with our, we do this video called squad games, where we try to be athletic and we take on another squad. And dude, we just did it, was it last week? Yeah, two weeks ago or whatever. And I did one day of sport, like, it's just one day of sports. I woke up the next day, couldn't walk.

Like, I was done. Did you ever, like, is that, is that what? All the things you guys go through. Is that what playing quarterback in the NFL feels like? Because that's what I thought I played as. We did a lot of sports to be fair. I was like, dude, this is me at my peak. I'm at Cuban NFL.

I can't walk the next day. Is that like game on Sunday? It depends on who you're playing and how many sacks you're getting, the line's given up. The funny thing is about football is, well, nowadays, true, you're playing, there's Thursday night games and there's, you know, money. And it's brutal. And in the football season, even if you get out of a game as a quarterback without getting hit, you know, even with no sacks, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're,

going to take some shots. You're not starting to feel better until Wednesday or Thursday. And then by time Friday rolls around Saturday, it's like, okay, I'm, I'm at like 90%. Well, then that 90% and then you play again. The next week, you're like, okay, I'm at 85 by game time, you know, and it keeps piling up. And, you know, when the by week comes, now, if we're playing the Baltimore Ravens, when those two of the Ravens rivalries happen, you might be at 50% at the end of those games, because it was just so physical and you just prayed for a bye week after Baltimore. So, yeah, you feel pretty, you know, you're getting out of bed the next day and you're like, this is, it's hard to walk. Some weeks worse than others. Yeah, no, I know the feeling. I was there two weeks ago.

Broom ball really took it out of us. I couldn't walk, man. It was bad. We put together a showing, though, on the ice. We did. We did. We might be professional broomballers. Yeah. You ever played broomball? No. You got the skate. No, it's just you're on the ice with your tennis shoes. Oh, no, that's a long fall. You could be a good, you could be a good broomball. Yeah. You get an enforcer. long. I've been on the ground. Avid outdoorsman. We've connected on that quite a bit.

We haven't really got to do any trips, I guess, together yet. I would love to. We've talked about it a lot. What is your, if you can only do one, one outdoors trip for the rest of your life, what would it be every year? Man, that's tough. I grew up doing a lot of bird hunting. Ducks and geese, and I love doing that.

Don't do as much of it as I probably would like to do. Really got into, really been into archery hunting probably for the last, like, 15s, yeah, 18 years, you know? And so I'm not like, I didn't grow up doing it. But I'm addicted. I love it. I love white tail hunting in PA, great white tail hunting turkeys. And so in terms of hunting, obviously, for me too, I played 18 and just retired in 2020.

So if you think about that, like the hunting season, right? Terrible timing. Terrible timing. Worst professional sport if you like hunting. Unless you're going to stay like, I get home from practice. Like, I'm going to get to the tree stand real quick. You're not going on. trips to go hunt elk or do big, big hunts like that.

But I've got a real good friend, Levi Morgan, who's probably the best archer in the world after you. Thank you. Who he, about three years ago, he asked me to go on a white tail trip with him to Cactus Jack here in Texas. And was like, sure, I'll go on a trip. And I've never experienced anything like that. The people there are amazing, the deer are amazing.

And so we've done it now three years in a row, going back this year. And so it's just such an amazing trip. So that's one. You also like to golf. Love the golf. You have a favorite course you've ever played? I mean, outside of the big one, you know, the one that we don't talk about,

the mystical Great White Buffalo, Augusta. Augusta. It's pretty special. I mean, that's your one. That's your one. Well, I mean, it's kind of hard not to be. It's pretty special. You're in, you're in, you're in, you're in, you're in,

a great golf state. You're in one of the best golf states. There is. Yes. You play, I mean, you've obviously probably played, played them all up there. A lot of them, yes. And, you know, obviously everyone thinks about Oakmont.

Oakmont is, it's not really a fun course because it's just so hard. It beats you down. It beats you up. Couldn't make it my everyday course. There's a course of there called Laurel Valley, which is in one of my top five. You played Laurel when you came up there? No. No, I want to get to Fox Chapel.

Fox Chapel is great, great golf course. Laurel Valley is about just a little bit outside of Pittsburgh, but it is right by training camp. Okay. And it was, it is one of my most favorite courses. And so that's a good one out there. What's the course we played in Hershey? it was herchie Hershey Country Club

I think of me right by the chocolate factory It's actually pretty sick Yeah it was Yeah right by the chocolate factory Have you ever played Sage Valley When you guys are down there? I played Sage Valley when you guys are down there

I love Sage Unbelievable Sage is awesome So that's another one that I'd put up my top There's probably all the ones It's I feel like I get asked this question a lot And I'm always like It's hard to like dude They're all good

Like I know I think that yeah When you when you're talking Anything in the top 100 200 200 like they're all good Yeah Like it's just really about the experience that you have with the people you're with,

how well you scored, whatever. I played a hoopie. We love a hoopie. It's one of my favorite golf experiences. It was a thousand degrees, but it was awesome. You went in the summer? It was for the crew. Oh, yeah.

That's where it was two years ago. Yeah, it was, yeah, it was three years ago. I wasn't there for that one. Three years ago. It was, I mean, definitely hot. Yeah. But it was awesome. What a great.

A hoopie is. A hoopie's legit. Crew cup, what is that? It was just a fun little golf event. Oh, is it? Yeah, have you, I think you've, you did. Oh, yeah, I guess I had played in it. I just got to win one this year.

No way. Were you the captain? You were the winner? I was the winner. I was the captain. I feel like I picked a pretty good team. That's incredible. Who all was on your team? Well, we had some good players. Yeah.

Yeah, we had some good guys. It's hard to remember all of them, especially when there's one guy that won the MVP that was super special and kind of carried us. Really? Yeah. He ever lose a match? Never lost a match? No way.

Undefeated four, four, five, six and a 0, 7-0. Brute. It's unbelievable. Yeah, he really carried us. We don't really need to talk about him. We need to keep him anonymous. Because at the end of the day, an MVP wants to be humble. They want to be a humble leader.

Well, he sounds like a great guy. Yeah, he does sound like a good guy. I feel like the trophy should be in this room somewhere. Oh, he's already brought the trophy. Maybe upstairs in his office. It was two picks. Now, I will say this. I might have had a little insider information on how well he was playing with the mini driver.

So, y'all, that this said person may have come to Pittsburgh for a show. Yeah. A week before the draft. Yeah. And so I may have got some insider in the phone. He was. He's hitting the mini driver well. He was.

That's why I heard. He goes, I'm hitting it straight. I got a straight. I'm hitting it straight. I'm like, hey, at Pinehurst, I'm taking you. You know what? We celebrated our win and we're on to next year. Yeah.

We're focused on the next one. They got a course, they don't pick it yet. We know where we're going. Oh, you do know. We do. Cool. We'll talk about it offline. Yeah, we're not going to.

Yeah. Okay. You're obviously future Hall of Famer quarterback, but there's had to be a moment in your life because we're called almost athletes. this pod where any other sport where you're playing where you're just like you had an almost athlete moment where you're like you know what it's just not for me i know that i'm not going to go i'm going to excel in this sport maybe you don't have one or it was a moment in football you could have

it would be like a butt fumble something like that one of those yeah yeah do you have a butt fumble no no no buffles okay at interceptions uh no i don't any other sport no i think you never really been humbled in another sport? Absolutely. I remember early in football, we played in Philly. And it might even be in preseason game, but I think I got sacked like eight or nine times. That's not really you, though.

That's the offensive line. No, it's always on the quarterback. A good quarterback will say that. No, always quarterback's fault. And I remember getting like landing and going to one of my good friends and teammates Brett Kiesel's house, the bearded wonder, played D-Line,

and a good friend of mine. Went to his house, and I remember sitting in his basement and be like, I don't know if I can do this. It was like my first or second, third year. And I'm like, this is, this is no fun. Like I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm hurting already.

And I know what tomorrow, you talk about that, what's coming. And I'm like, I don't know if I can keep doing this. And sure enough, he, you know, luckily I didn't quit,

but that was early. But I got sex so much. It was awful. Nine times. On the Ravens, there you go. That is a brutal game. That was a different game.

Yeah. They don't play that game anymore. Yeah. But yeah, that was, I mean, that's like a moment that I was like, this is. Yeah, this might not be for me. Who was the QB when you first got to Pittsburgh? Tommy Maddox was a starter. And Charlie Batch was the backup, and Brian St. Pierre was the third guy.

So how long did it take you to get in? Well, Charlie got hurt in training camp. And then so that I became kind of the two, three with St. Pierre. Tommy played the first game. And then the second game was in Baltimore, which is obviously one of our big rivals, Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, Suggs, Nata. And at the end of the...

God, that was a nasty team. Oh, they were so good. Barts, did I say Barscott again? At the end of the second quarter, almost halftime, Tommy gets hit as he throws, and he kind of goes down holding his elbow, second down, and he goes down, holding his elbow. And I was like, hey, you know, Ben go in.

I'm like, okay, I'm going in third down, hand the ball off probably, and get out. And I remember run in, and then I kind of look, I see Tommy going into the locker, and I'm like, oh, like, it's almost halftime. Okay, I can get through like maybe another series or something. And I remember getting in the halftime,

and they're like, he's not going back in. And I'm like, okay. And so sure enough, I got to finish the game and I had a chance to win it. And I did a rookie mistake where, you know, we were doing our two-minute drone at the time, you would do, we had like one through 10 was your two-minute play.

Like memorize one through 10, right? So it's like play one, play two, play very obvious, right? Well, if you're doing five, well, then you could do six. What do you do for 10? You can't go 10. That's five. 10 is this.

Well, as a young guy, I'm like, hey, 10, 10, 10. My receiver does five. I go 10, throw a pick six. That was your almost athlete moment. There you go. Yeah, I guess you could do that one too. 10. Wait, five, 10.

But that was my first game playing, and then we ended up winning 15 straight after that. We didn't lose until we got to the FC championship game against the Patriots when they were. It's how it always happened, man. It's like the second string comes in and just balls out. Never, never look back. You think they protect the quarterback too much now?

Yes. Yes. I think it's really hard to be a defender. And listen, I know I was known as a tough guy. I didn't get a lot of calls. And I think being a bigger guy doesn't help you. And I didn't go down easy. Like I think I'd get it from my grandma.

Like, just no quit. Like I just can't quit. Should have learned the flop earlier. I should have played the NBA. Acting class would have done a lot for you. Yeah. But yeah, I think I still, even as a quarterback, I think, boy, there's sometimes you watch it and you're like, oh my goodness, really. Like you feel bad for defensive guys.

Yeah. Which for a quarterback to say that was crazy. But it's like, what did he do? Like, it's just, it's tough. I feel like I could have, I could have lasted a lot longer if I would have gotten some of his calls. Yeah. Yeah, there was a hit. And I think it was last week, maybe on Herbert.

I mean, Defender did everything perfectly. Didn't leave with the head, hit him with the shoulder, didn't fall on him, like, kept his weight off of him, still got. the flag and like you watch that and you're like what are what are they supposed to do like you it's basically you just can't hit them hard anymore yeah you can't like but that's crazy to me yeah you guys should do you know what you should do especially because you're a really good quarterback is you guys should do something where he's a quarterback and have someone come in and hit him and just be like flag or not flag just do a whole segment i don't love that on poundy or not penalty they can have low high driving into the ground i love this idea yeah fun idea yeah um i have a question

We're in an NFL game. Okay. I go get at Q for the Steelers. Okay. Forget not knowing the playbook, whatever. You know it all. You got it. Pretend I know the playbook.

What do you think my completion, what is, not my passer rating, but what, how many, if I throw 30 times a game. Okay. Right now?

Right now. Against the Cowboys D? Sure. New York Giants D. Okay. How many passes do you think I could complete? I've got a quest video that I want to do But I need some parameters for how we could pull it off

Out of 30? Yeah. Well, here's what I'd say too. I still have NFL receivers running around to every starting And they have to be beyond the checkdown. So here's what I was going to say, if we're talking 10 plus yard passes Because obviously you can throw a swing pass You can throw screens, things like that

So I'll give you like three to four of those a game Which is like a little checked like, oh, someone's going to think it. You know? Full screen pass, yeah. Scramble. plus 10 yard passes. I'll give you, you're,

you are a good athlete, but I'm gonna have, are you six foot? No, he's gotta, he's gonna be kind of hurry out there. I mean, in high school,

I had to get outside the pocket to see over the line. That's what I'm gonna give you a couple of those rollouts, but here's the thing, what people don't realize is you're not throwing over the line, you're throwing through lanes, right?

So that's gonna help you a little bit. But look at Herbert, Herbert's the most batted down passer and he's six five. Yeah. You know, I'm avoiding the question. I think you're gonna get,

oh, plus 10 yarders, you're going to get like four. Okay. Wow. Four? So I'm completing seven passes, you think? That's crazy. Seven to 30, and I think you might get one where you, and if you're throwing it deep like to

DK or someone, like you might get one of those. I'm just going to throw a jump ball. He's going to go get it. 50-50. You got shot. Go win one for your cue. That's crazy. I'll give you that, yeah.

Okay. So probably less, probably just under 10. Okay. Well, what if I did four carries. Oh. How many yards can I, can I pick up the first down? Can I get two and a half yards of carry? Do I get three?

Three yards? A carry? No, no, just total. Oh, just total. I like to think I could get five yards. If you got a good line, then I think if they open a hole for it, you're fine. Can you talk to the Steelers and see if we can do that Quest video? I want four carries at training camp, ones against ones. On ones.

And I want to be lined up in the backfield, take four handoffs. They can't know which plays it is specifically. They know a run. So it's like what we call nine on seven where it's like we know we're not throwing the ball. Yeah, we don't need corners and safety. Okay. I mean, I guess you had the safety in there too. You can come downhill and.

Yeah. won't get five yards and four carries. No? I'm not fast enough? No, it does not. There's going to be times where... Well, you're going to get to cleat it on the first one. You're not going to want to do it.

So... If you lose yards... It won't be that. I won't quit. But you're not going to be able to... Even if you meet someone head on, like in the hole, your leg drive isn't enough.

No, it's none. No, it's... I know that. See, I was going to... To go back to the passing real quick, on the first pass of the game... Yep. we're throwing something easy.

You're going to get blindsided. No, no, no, no. It's balls coming out. Three step. Yeah. And you made you just a one- diagonal slant. Like, diagonal slant.

Second play of the game, you're going to get blindsided. I mean, lifted, driven it to the ground. They might even get a, they might even take a penalty just to give you the 15 free. You're going to play action and letting it go,

or are you just trying to beat the shotgun? You're under center, you better be back there. Play action, because I'm not afraid to take off and run either. Okay. You know what I'm saying? And you're running away from T.J.

Watt, like, come. Well, I'm not saying I'm going to beat him, but I might be able to get to the sideline. I mean, these guys are monsters coming at you, bro. They're faster than ever. I watch them. I'm like, man, I can't get away from these guys anymore. Yeah. They're fast.

They're athletes. But I get the ball out of my hand. I mean, I'm two seconds. Balls out. I don't even know if you want to go against retired defense events. I do want to, though. I'm telling you, dude, like Tyrone Crawford, I think he kills you. Well, yeah, D-Ware, whenever we did our little drill with him.

That's what I'm saying. And this dude's been out of the league. Both those guys could still play. Yeah. Those guys are studs. Like, you can go against a delinement that's like an average deline. Then you're going against studs. Like what we talk about.

Yeah. We're not putting together a Hall of Fame, defensive line to go against. That's what I'm putting together. Was there like elite, I mean, obviously probably somebody from the Ravens that was just like you hated going against? Like you knew that when you got hit by this guy, it's going to hurt. I didn't mind getting, I mean, no one likes getting hit. I didn't, getting hit or playing like a physical guy. wasn't the thing for me, like playing a guy like Ed Reed, who was just...

Everywhere. Everywhere? Yeah. That was hard. I'd break the huddle and it's like, okay, I got to find Ed. There is. He's back here. He's 15 yards deep on the left hash.

And you kind of come up, you get the guys of your kind of checking everything around. And I'm like, where to Ed go? Okay, now he's over here on the right side, like eight yards deep. I'm like, okay, I see him. Start my cadence. And I'm like, you know, you kind of look left and you come back right. And he's like, now he's over here. And it's like, you just where is he?

And then the ball snapped. Next thing you know, he's back in center field, intercepting your ball. That's harder to play against than just a big, like, Terrell sucks, stud, absolutely, should be in the Hall of Fame. Like, he's come off the edge, he's going to get you. He's got long arms, he's going to bat passes.

But you know where he's at. But you know where he's coming from. And you can kind of like see that. Miles Garrett, same thing, going against guys like that. Great players, but it's harder when you have a chess match going against a guy like that, like Ed Reed. We had one in Troy Palomalu. Same type player.

I got to see him every day in practice, so I kind of had something to prepare for. but yeah guys like that are a lot tougher. Whenever you went to Cleveland where you was like guaranteed win. Yes. I mean that's... That's tough, dude.

I get a card every year from Father's Day from them. That's great. That's the best. Okay, before we let you go, okay, we mentioned squad games. We got two video ideas. You know, obviously the quest.

Squad games, I think you can pick you and four other retired team members. I mean, you get to pick them. Okay. The way it works is it's a seven-game series. It's a coin flip.

So, like, if you all pick first and win it, then we would get the next pick. Lose your picks the next sport. If you guys pick flag football and beat us and, you know, then we would go basketball and, you know, whatever. We'd win that one. If you, do you think, yeah, how do you think we'd stack against you? Because I think we, I think we do it. You already said Heath is, is, would be a flag football guy. Was he a multi-sport athlete guy?

Heath is a great athlete. Basketball. Yeah. Yeah, things you try to consider now, though, is like how beat. up with the guys now. Yeah. So I'd have to consider. We're 38.

Like, it's not like we're, we're also old here. But, but I'm 43 and 18 years, so I'm really like 75 in dog years. That's true. Like, NFL years.

That is true. But, no, I would, yeah, Heath would definitely want to consider because he's just a, he's a good athlete. Who else would you pick?

You don't know the sport, but you know it's athletically related. So I, I love the death, and I would take him. And if I gave him enough time, he'd be ready. But Troy?

Have you seen Troy recently? You got to give him a little time to gear up. Ties gearing up for a squad game tour already. He's getting into it. Troy is, I've never seen a guy practice in tennis shoes and not slip. Like, Troy is a, is a unbelievable athlete. I would definitely take Troy. Does he still have the hair? Oh yeah. Yeah, Troy's great. It's incredible. Yeah, Troy's great. Man, I'd have to take Alejandro Villanova. Okay. Okay. Left tackle, Army Ranger, good football player, thinks he's better than he is, but he would at least be some comic relief. So, and who's your last?

Man, I don't know. That's a tough one. It's got to be someone out there. I mean, if we're playing paintball, you got to be thinking, we may be doing anything. Paintball, I just took an Army Ranger. Well, that's true.

Elite Army Ranger. Not like a... I feel like you need speed somewhere in here. Yeah, I'm worried about your speed. I'm worried about the speed on the track from this squad. Trust me. We're running the 4 by 100 right now. I'm debating like a Mike Wallace who was, you know,

silly fast. Okay. All right, so you got a squad. We're shooting for around March. March time frame. Tell your guys get ready. You let me know and I will get a squad. It's me plus three.

It can, Hey look, we have some room. We can drop to six, seven. This might be above my pay grade, but I'm throwing out the invite anyways. Our whole tour this year is squad game related. That is true.

I'm willing, imagine, I know you played in front of hundreds of thousands of fans. We only get to about 10,000. So imagine 10,000 people, you know, watching you and your squad go up against us. Dude, perfect. I love it. Pennsylvania.

I love it. Love it. Let's book it, dude. I love it. Put your squad together. Go kart soccer's in the mix. Go kart soccer. You ever played any go-kart soccer?

Never even, no. See, we got the upper hand already. Remember that game where he got sack nine times? No. That's what it's going to feel like it. It's going to feel like, you're going to be quote, you're going to be like, dude, yeah, I had an embarrassing almost athlete moment. Dude, perfect live tour.

I actually am curious. Got slept. What was the first time you ever, like you came across DP? Was it through the boys or was it, had you heard of us or the video? when you were playing or what? What was your first exposure? No, I think through my kids, Levi was the one that brought us to a show

when you came to Pittsburgh probably three years ago or something like that. It was the first time I ever saw you all in person. But it's, no, when you've got three young kids with the stuff that's on TV and the internet and stuff to have something that you know that they can watch, like you guys, it's such a relief. We talk to parents all the time.

It's like, man, thank you to you guys. So I'm saying thank you. So that's, I think the kids are always like, can we watch DPA? Absolutely. Like there's no, well, which one. It's, yeah, have that it. So just having young kids, I'd say probably four or five years ago was the first time that we really kind of came, like, we're like, what is this thing?

So it's pretty, because we don't have social media, our kids on my phone. So it was just like randomly come across at some point. Before we let you go, what's your favorite type of food? Ooh, I'm a foodie. I'm a fat kid at heart. I mean, I'm not just a heart. I'm a bad kid. I love, like, I'm a huge show of, you know, my birthday dinner is my dad's flank steak with my wife's cheesy potatoes.

Hello. How are we doing? You a dessert guy too? No. Flake steak is your choice of steak? Oh yeah. It's like the way it's marinated, cut real thin. Like it's just cut where it's cut cross grain and marinate's, oh, it's special.

I'd love to try it. I would do desserts over food. Like, like, are we going to dinner? Are we going to cake? Oh, chocolate chip. I'm a chocolate. Chocolate chip cookies. Okay.

Chalkie. Like, again, I got a chocolate cream pie. My dad makes my grandma's recipe, it's a frozen. My wife makes the strawberry dessert, you know, the cool whip and the graham cracker on the bottom or the pretzel, however you like it. I love Oreo dessert I do like chocolate chocolate kind of guy

That's what I am If you had one cheat meal You can have any cheatmeal now But like I'm saying in the season Cheatmeal what was it Probably pizza Pizza carb burgers Stuff crust

Anything I dip it in cheese Man love it Well dude Can't appreciate you enough Let me rephrase that But we're not rolling Yeah dude

Yeah dude Look, like I said, I'm 38 and I need to retire. Blue Tim for you too. I also have gotten my head and my bell rung a couple times. So thanks for coming down for spending some time with us. It's been an honor. Thanks for having me. And can't wait to beat you.

Get your squad ready. I can't wait. I can't wait to not talk to you guys again because it's going to know, that's how it goes. July, Pennsylvania. I actually don't know what it is. I think it's July. We're going to be friends still then. Yeah.

And then it's just it's on. Yeah. And then depending on how it goes, I don't know if I'll pick you again if I was ever captain. Yeah. That's fun. I'll get over it. There you go. Well, dude, thank you for coming down.

Give it up. And Rathusberger. Thank you guys. This segment is driven by the Hess toy truck. Over the years, Hess has released every type of vehicle from motorcycles to spacecrafts. And this year, boys, it's the fastest straight-up racing car you've ever seen. And the winner of this game we're about to play will win a couple of them to give to your kids. But since I don't have kids, my nieces or nephews.

Nice. I like it. All right, boys, the game we're playing is called stalking surprise. We're gonna go one at a time, dip our hands into the stocking, and guess what's inside of them? And I feel like our team was up to no good today, because they've been giving me some weird looks. But how about this has toy truck, man? Look at this. That's mine, though.

Oh, that's mine, though. Inside a car. What do you call that? Oregon. That's not Oregon. Russian dolls. Yeah, it's close. Sparks.

Is there danger in these? That's what I'm saying. Is there like a mousetrap set? Yeah. No. In our team, I bet it's even worse. I bet it's like COVID strand in here. Stop.

I'll be first up. Can use all senses but your eyes. You're going to taste it? Tie wore these. I can smell his feet from a mile away. I kind of think I know what that is. This is really weird. I hear clicking.

It's almost like a miniature hand of some sort. Like a Pinocchio puppet? Yeah, kind of like a Pinocchio puppet hand. What it sounds like. Yeah, I'm going to go two prosthetic hands. A baby hands? What a call. I can do my little sally.

I can do my sally with them. Do this one. I felt it. I was like, somebody's giving me like a miniature high five. As nephews and nieces have about the similar hand size

so this checks out. That's the craziest thing I've ever seen. What do you think? I mean, life would be a lot tougher with small hands. That's crazy.

You can't even pick up a toy truck. It has toy car. Sorry. I'm proud of my I'm proud of myself. One of my worst senses is feel and I was all over it.

Stop. SMR. Now you're making me feel uncomfortable. Yeah, I'm straight up. I like it Cody Hi-vive! All right my turn

Use your hands to figure out that toy boy It's gonna be tough You can have those I can tell you to want them Just in case something happens At least I have a backup plan That was impressive I'm wildly impressed with myself

Good luck topping that Okay this is feeling like a Prostetic feet No it's like an old CD player From like 2003 If that's a walk man I call it

And you would wear the headphones behind your head wired, obviously. There's no wireless at the time. I'm gonna lock in, except I'm not feeling any buttons. There wasn't buttons on it. Yeah, there were some clickables like a play button. We're thinking like iPod? It's got to be a, it's the size of a CD.

What kind of weight? It's a little bigger. It could be a Waffle maker, but I'm gonna say CD-ROM player. Oh, it's a Woff! It's a food scale. What is it? A food scale. Whoa! See, this is what threw me off. Look at that. I got it wrong. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't have said I never used a food scale.

I wouldn't have said that. Again, need one of these. So far, you're not getting this one because I'm mad, I'm throwing it. They're about to give you three iterations of scales, by the way. You guys, tough for you. I wanted to go not even putting my hand in there.

I think I know what it is. Yeah, it's locking in. Bar soap. Whoa! It was a quick trig, and what is that? Bar soap. That feels like a high bracket bar soap. I've never seen it.

I use bar soap every day. That's... What a gift. Hey, we could repurpose that. Give it to Tyler. He needs it. Are you up next? Yeah, I am.

Really good and really good start by us, other than codes. All right, item number two. It'd be diabolical if someone would put socks inside of my sock. Stocking and the stocking. I'm going to start with like a retainer case. Definitely not that. Some kind of action fig. A hairy action figure?

I like a chew box. Like a homemade? Seeing that this is a great. Christmas episode. Like a voodoo doll? I'm going to say this is this is going to be a nutcracker. Ooh, I'm a book on a show. Dude, how you are. That's incredible. That's flipped it. All right, here we go. Look by the looks of it. Might be another CD player. That's just a little bigger food scale than what you just got out, I think. I almost had a whoopee?

I want to say whoopee, but I don't feel the, um, the cush. I just feel the whoopey part. Oh, there it is. I found,

uh, this is right up my alley. Whoopee? A new-aged whoopee cushion with foam. Oh. Yeah, dude,

I want to hear it. I want to hear it. You have to blow it up? Well, if you want full ripage. Oh, man. Tell me that's a little bit of a smile

on your face. Take it home to Easton. Oh, one more. Let's send it home. It's supposed to be self-inflating. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think you... I think you just...

I'll do it again. Let's just see. Yeah, self-inflating. Yeah. Eason's going to love that. All right. Very realistic. All kinds of volumes.

Taking this home with me. Thank you, team. Well, I'll say this. There's a lot of what I'm feeling. It's a magnet of some sort. The magnets. It's like those letter blocks. that you like spell things out on like refrigerator refrigerators you know what I'm talking

about like the magic the magic letters the magnet letters I don't know what those are called magnet tiles all right we'll give it to you oh there were numbers oh dude did you get six seven dude dude you win do I get them yeah it's numbers that's pretty good that's pretty good I thought it was an F-1-tenth it comes into a tie break you're gonna lose it wow wildly impressive start for me and Gare both two for two code you're one for two you better hope we both miss and you make I need it final stalking item let's make sure you know I'm not broken

oh it hit it pretty oh is it Cody's underwear it's moist it's Cody's underwear dude it might be a food product of some sort is that my underwear after a sauna sash oh sick you can ring it out and just let it drip it's just like I think it's a food item well use your words like there's some kind of

icing some kind of bread to it I'm just going to go with like a some kind of cake. It is Kelsey's birthday. I think so. That's a piece of cake. No way he got this right. I'm going to be tied with him.

It's Kelsey's birthday in office, putting my process of elimination cake. Sandwich. Ew. I would never eat that either. Dude, is that like an actual sandwich? With hair on it. You want it?

What kind of sandwich? Chicken sandwich? Chicken salad sandwich? Chicken salad sandwich. I know you're craving. Was this your lunch? I am not down with it. I thought you were eating anything.

Yes, the door's open. Give that a better smell. That's sick, dude. Okay, if I get this right, me and, me and stalkers, stop, stop out of here. Stop, smell it. I'm not going to smell it. That's not my, that's not mine. Oh, what are we got here?

Ew. Is it another tuna sandwich? No, but I don't, this is insane. So they're like little jelly packs. J-packs? You would almost think of this as like a goo, like a goo, like a goo, like a slime ball. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I feel like if I squeeze it, it's gonna get really messy, but I kind of want to do it Oh

Oh, is that your whoopi? Did you hear that? Oh Sick! I'm gonna do it again. I don't know what this is, but it got wet in here real bad Here we go, I'm gonna let you hear it. I'm squeezing the heck out of it It's like three oh it smells. It's like a it's dishwasher Oh Detergent dishwasher detergent Yeah

Oh, like laundry. Dude, you nailed that soccer, bro. For a guy who's never done a love of laundry in his life. I've seen the commercials. That's tied at its finest. We always have to lock these in drawers so my hazy doesn't eat it. You want to pop on? No, stop on.

Dude, tied up. Garrett for the win. Tide up. Get it? Tide pod. Why am I getting chicken Caesar salads and he's getting tied pods? Wait a second. Uh-oh.

That's a dirty diaper. Please be a hard one. That's a dirty diaper. Smells sweet. You won't eat it. You won't close your eyes and just take a bite. We all got nasty ones in the end. He's going to get like a target cologne that's 49.

I will absolutely eat this. He's not going to get it right. If he gets it right, he wins. These are, uh, these are just like, I mean, you better get it right. I know, but is it just like, I don't know. If you don't get it right,

we're going to overtime. This is a candy. And this is a, it's like a worm. It's like a candy worm. Like a gummy worm? Like a gummy worm. Okay.

Be specific. because if it's not gummy, you're not getting credit. This is it gummy worm. Big or small? They're like medium size. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

You're champion of the stocking stuff for surprise. Tuna sandwich. Dude, I got tied potted. You can practice all week, but when somebody puts you in a tuna sandwich situation, that's like hitting me with a reverse. We weren't prepared. I can't believe if that tuna sandwich isn't thrown away, it's going to smell this whole place.

You're eating the worms? How long have there's been in there? It's better than a leftover tuna sandwich. It doesn't mean you have to eat it. Well, I felt like it needed to. All right. Close it. Close it up.

Close it. Hey, don't touch my Hescar, boy. You'll get the Hescar. Can I also have your food scale? You may. Yeah, thank you. Medium gummy worms. Those are regular gummy worms.

Actually, you need the food scale, dude. You need to start portion out of your meals, brother. By the way, let me ask this. Before you two minute warning me, Jared, I've got something to ask the boys. Take it a cloth. Are y'all pro getting ahead of Christmas? shopping or y'all last second? Last second. Allison does all mine. And we don't give each

other a gift, so I literally have never bought a Christmas item. Wait, wait, you don't give Allison a gift. No, we've never done that. And you make fun of me for Valentine's Day. This is unbelievable. You go on like a soapbox of like, it's so dumb. I'm not going to go eat dinner. I'm like, why not? Hang on. I eat dinner every night, brother. You do too, obviously.

This is shocking. Sometimes I have second supper. This is a shocking revelation. Yeah, go for it. You don't give. No. Your spouse. And how many years? Well, she does all the shopping outside of Santa. Yeah.

Yeah. Cool. So it's like parents gifts and then Santa comes. Yeah, I don't, I mean, I'm once in a blue moon, I'll get my dad like an Aggie polo. Dude, I think you should get her a gift. Yeah, I mean, I do all the time. Surprise her this year. Surprise her.

Yeah, but then I have to do it next year. That's true. That's true. You know, I actually, you have a good. You have a good right now. It's been great. Yeah, we love Christmas. Celebrate the kids.

I gave you four kids. Congrats. It's the gift that keeps on. giving and they're going to have kids and we're going to have so many gifts. What? You guys. I think I know what I'm getting me for Christmas this year. I gave her good genetics.

Do you guys get like socks and underwear? No. I did grown up when I was in a lower tax bracket. See, I say what you want. Yeah, I guess you're right. I never did that growing up, but now that's what I get. And I actually kind of love it. You need them.

You just don't think about it. I don't want to buy myself socks. And then when you get them in your stock, But who gives them to you? Kristen, I have a gummy stuck in my throat. You eat a whole handful. I was about saying you're getting way too emotional about receiving socks and onions on Christmas.

Dude, I've never been more emotional about receiving a pair of socks, dude. Like the Nike, the Nike calf socks, man. But what keeps you from checking out at Dick's sporting goods and just grabbing a stack of 12s? Because I know that Christmas time, they're going to be fresh whiteies in there.

Got it. All right. Pivot over to you. We do socks underwear and scratch-offs in ours. Scratchoffs is such a good idea. Yeah, we do like five. Should I start my kids on scratchoffs?

Get them in early. They'll get them hooked. Oh, well, Tyler's kid's been addicted for a while. His middle child loves scratchoffs. Watch out. If you ride with him anywhere. Scratch in his neck for a scratchoff. He's fiend.

Is Black Friday done too? No, Cyber Monday now. My guy. That's the whistle. You know what that means? Two-minute warning. You suppose we got a good one. Yeah, I've been sitting on this one because I've been simmering.

Listen, boys, I'm all for alternate uniforms. I'm all for using secondary brands, things like that. New New jerseys are cool, but we have lost touch with reality when it's come to the NBA camp. You're so right. Look at that. Right here on our monitor boys are the courts being used by the NBA. And you can't tell me that when you're watching a Minnesota Timberwolves game up there, West A,

that that's not hurting the eyeballs a little bit. That's not hurting the product. When you're having to change the contrast on your TV to watch a national Basketball Association game. You're not wrong. We're probably doing a little too much. It's a lot. Example A.

It's a lot. The gray ones I'm okay with. The red ones are crazy. It's an eyesore. It's horror. Every highlight clip from those games, it's unwatchable. And I feel bad for being this guy

because I'm so like pro blue turf, Boise. And again, I'm all about using alternate uniforms, but we have crossed a threshold where I'm scared. We're never going to be able to come back. We're trying to make the NBA cup a thing by putting three cups on the court.

Amen. Whoa. This man's helping my rant right now. Agree? To disagree? A hundred percent agree. Comment below if you agree because we've gotten out of touch. Except for the Dallas stars.

Those jerseys are just... Those are beautiful. I think the NHL has done it right where they have found the middle ground. Yeah. Without almost disgracing the game of basketball. I almost think I would prefer... Bob Coosie's rolling over in his grade looking at that L.A. Laker court.

I'd almost prefer regular court and then you color the backboard. Like just do some little fun touch, but that's insanity. What about just playing with the colors? colored ball. It's like the Euros. But do you all agree? I agree.

That's crazy town. Because I've been sitting on that one for a while and I was like, you know, is this, is, am I being honest? Yes, I'm being honest. We've passed the point of

no return. You can't watch a Houston Rockets basketball game with that. Well, you can't watch a Houston Rockets basketball game to begin with. You put a red quarter under them. I mean, Phoenix is bad.

Minnesota's bad. I mean, the only good ones are the yellow ones because you're used to a yellow court. You don't mind Dallas. Yeah. Chicago's not bad either but yeah I agree

it's got out of hand just scale back a little bit just a little bit you know go solid my best maybe not but something that needs to be said

I'm speaking on behalf of the people who are too scared to say something like this Eric can't say something like this he's already banned from the NBA me as a free man

I feel like I got to say it see now you could get banned yeah I might also get a from the NBA commissioner a signed little document like I said it's a great way to get an auto

closes out sparks. Yeah. Well, boys. Sorry, I had to say that. Just had to bring it up. Appreciate you joining us, Codes. There's a good time. All 250 of you, brother. That's insane. Looks like our time's up. We'll be back next Wednesday with a brand new app. Follow the show on all social media platforms at Almost Athletes.

Like and subscribe on YouTube or listen and sub wherever you get your podcast. Five stars would be greatly appreciated. Share your favorite app with a friend. Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is a Wave Original. Thanks for tuning in. Pound it. Noggin. Merry Christmas. See you. pops they brought you want a tuna sandwich those hands brother tuna sandwich no still up for grabs