Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect - Match the Candy to the NFL Team GAME + NFL Hot Takes

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

Cody and Coby join Sparky to recap all the biggest storylines from College Football Week 1! With the NFL kicking off tonight, the guys also share their boldest NFL hot takes for the season. Then, things get personal as they react to voicemails with the worst fantasy football punishments YOU sent in. And to wrap it all up, Jamie Erdahl is back for a wild game of matching NFL teams to candy. Let’s just say… things go completely off the rails. What candy best describes your NFL team? Chapters: 00:00 Intro 06:20 College Football Recap  19:49 NFL Hot Takes  36:30 Fantasy Punishment Voicemails 49:00 Match the NFL Team to the Candy GAME If you’ve got a question, hot take, or your own Almost Athlete moment, head to AlmostAthletes.com or call [phone]. Upload your own fan fails here: https://new.myharbourshare.com/agree/gSttAsmDbo6vYCfm3HBdjh?fbclid=PARlRTSARDo7VleHRuA2FlbQIxMABzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA8xMjQwMjQ1NzQyODc0MTQAAafRqYdnXc6xTmfPMNERbnp5yfF-BqLSY3NCu2GQZSehgOTgD69fSBeTqTcAQg_aem_RWLUmW87bcZIif3zTrWKBg Primal Kitchen Buffalo Sauce is available nationwide and can be found at your local grocery store or on www.primalkitchen.com/products/original-buffalo-sauce Learn More about the newly designed 2027 Chrysler Pacifica at https://www.chrysler.com Try the Burger Perfection Flight at http://OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code ATHLETES.  Don’t wait to stock up on your favorites at GNC — the sale won’t last long Go on, book that trip - it's easy. Booking.com. Booking.yeah.  Head to https://SoFi.com/almost to explore your options and find funding that works for you. #almostathletes #dudeperfect #NFL ▶ Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@almostathletes?sub_confirmation=1 🎧 Listen anywhere: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/almost-athletes-with-dude-perfect/id1834502483 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/55gaQm31JIbp6td7QtYsPU Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is (almost) a sports podcast. Co-hosted by Garrett Hilbert and Sparky, with the rest of the Dudes, their wives, and the DP crew popping in throughout the weeksports takes, celebrity guests, athlete interviews, fan voicemails, and the kind of chaos you'd expect from the Dude Perfect family. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Go Big and God Bless Pound it 👊🏻 Noggin 🙇🏻‍♂️ - Dude Perfect Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Browns aren't as bad as people think. Is that a pretty hot take? How bad do people think they are? I'm seeing people like five or wins or less. What causes them to be so dysfunctional? Is it the name of their team? The Browns? Is it the color palette?

I think there needs to be the ownership. There needs to be Ivy League researchers go in. There's some punishments that just are the writing on the wall that I no longer want to play fantasy football. That's probably one. If I'm in that league and I lose, it's just like, hey, I'm hanging them up. I'm not doing the punishment because I don't want it bad enough.

A milk miles is about as bad as it gets. So what is this, what is this team? Who are you? Let the candy talk to you. Who are you? Sweet tards, gummy halos, Atlanta Falcons. What are you? What are you?

How are you going to get Kyle Pitts going? Who are you on defense? Is that the right spot for Kevin Cefansky? What is going on in a quarterback? These are not that good. Welcome to Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect, A Wave Original. Follow the show on all social media at Almost Athletes. Like and subscribe to us on YouTube or listen and subscribe.

wherever you get your podcast. We're your host. I'm Cody the Tall Guy. I am Sparky the Sparksster, seven out of ten, Cody. Seven out of ten? Yeah, not too bad. It's a passing grade at least.

Can I run it back? Yeah, go for it. Yes, okay. With more... More... More gravity. Same with your chest. Three, two.

Okay, here we go. Welcome to Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect. A Wave Original. Follow the show on all social media at Almost Athletes. Like and subscribe to us on YouTube or listen and subscribe

wherever you get your podcast. We're your host. I'm Cody the tall guy. I'm Sparky the Sparksster and obviously we're without Garrett. We'll work on it after the show. But we do have a third here today, another dude in the mix. Kobe Cotton. Come on down. Whoa. What is this guy? Listen, listen, hey. What are you doing? A rock climber? Yeah, yeah, listen. Are you busy out there me and timbent it? Are you free solo in it or does the harness mean to know? Sort of. Dude, look at the kicks, bro. Yeah, these are actually pretty pretty salty. Yeah, they feel good on the feet.

Newfound passion? You're up here with Timmy, it's pre-work, climbing? Well, last week was my first time on the wall. I guess I should explain a little bit. This is very new for me and definitely new for you to see it for me. A couple weeks ago,

I was hanging out with the DPO guys, you know, the outdoors guys. We don't spend a lot of time together. I'm more of a dude perfect indoors guy myself. But we were in a meeting and people were talking about possible video ideas and somebody threw out, would anybody do the 1,000-foot rock climb?

And I don't know why they, looked at me, maybe because I'm such a heights guy now with my, you know, going off the bungee jump. Yeah. The other heights thing that I did. You know what I'm talking about there? A space joke? Uh-huh. Okay.

And anyways, I told him I was like, I don't rock climb. Yeah. But my brother-in-law does and Tim Bits, editor Tim does. So I was like, I like, I think could be a really cool video. And they kept looking at me like, well, we need somebody to do the climb. I was shocked senior car here pre-830 a.m. I thought it was a meeting. So, I saw him halfway up the wall.

I'm like, hey, the one thing I respect about the cobra man is when he gets his number called upon, even in something like rock climbing where he may be a little foreign, the guy goes all in. And I respect that. He's at a heart to heart with Tim Bits. Editor Tim.

He's a great rock climber. He sent me some video clips of the place that they want to go to. It's daunting. A thousand feet alone just sounds daunting. 20 stories higher than our Vegas shot. Oh, wow. Is that true?

Oh, yeah. That was 800. Are you rappelling down or climbing up? Climbing up? Wow. With the top rope thing? On a rope. I'm not, you know.

Me and Alex, Honnold, haven't spent a lot of time together. That's great. I see him in a different category. So anyways, I've been training. It's a lot of rock climbing talk for the almost athletes pod. So me and Tim were putting in some time this morning on the wall. That was my second time. Okay.

Pretty much in my life. Tees and peace with you, brother, because that seems like a scary adventure. I didn't, I wasn't, I wasn't calculating a thousand feet higher than the strat. I was there in Vegas. That is a... It's up there. There's a reason you got called upon. I don't know. We'll see. If you never see the video, it didn't happen. But if you see the video, this was the beginning.

DPO people, I'm a little offended that my number still hasn't been called upon. Feel like I would have been a great option for the 1,000 foot climb. Just saying. I agree. Listen, hey, you're welcome to join. I'll pass. I want them to call me. Cody, you're going to Africa this week. Leave tomorrow. Yeah, before we get into sports, let's catch up on some dude perfect news. What are you going to Africa for? Just PTO?

Pretty much. Tyler, playing a trip. to Africa with the Pettit brothers, and I saw the itinerary said, I would love to be a part of that. What are you doing in Africa? Got my bow. It's all sided in, ready to go. I'll be looking for a kudu and just hanging with the boys, and we're going to be helping with an elephant, I think, that needs some vaccines. What's a kudu look like?

It's got the spiral horns. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. You try to bring it back on, carry on? Yeah, it's catch and release mainly. Oh, catch and release, so no carry on back. Cool. Another situation where we're like, interesting, you got the call for that.

I don't take you much as an Africa guy. I didn't get the call. I made the call. Oh, you forced the issue. I just 100% said I'm coming. I got to start forcing the issue, man. Also, in the Dude Perfect world, don't forget football mini games. One of my favorite battles we filmed in quite some time. It's a really fun video that we started dating back to tour.

Yeah. It's when we first started filming that. A really fun video launches main channel-wise this Saturday. That was one of the most fun. I feel like we've done in a while. For sure. That is, if you like OG Dude Perfect battles, this is like an OG Dude Perfect battle meets mini games explosion.

It's football season. We're all happy about it. It's kind of heating up right now. Yeah, it is. I mean, coming off school stereotypes. Yeah. I'm proud of the team. Yeah, and it's been a team effort, man.

Shout out to the art team. Shout out to the whole team, because filming that video, we, one of those days, we filmed right in the heat of the day there in Prospern. Darcy from Art was falling, but getting back up. So how many times you fall on a shoot, it's how many times you get up. I can't even remember who won that video,

so I'm excited to watch it. But coming up, we got to talk a little sport, my friends. The NFL season is kicking off tonight, So we're going to give you our hot takes in week one predictions. And we're going to react to your voicemails about your craziest fantasy football punishments. That'll be fun. And later, we're going to tell you which NFL team is most like your favorite candy with Jamie Erdall. She's got superpowers.

Let me tell you. Stay tuned. We promise it makes sense. But first, week one of the college football season is in the books. And we have thoughts. I'm fresh off a trip to Indiana. I'd say 90% of the peeps treated us pretty well, given the North Texas. Not much of a rivalry there with Indiana.

A little chirp, sharp, sharp. here and there. How's the environment? The environment was cool. Actually, it was kind of more quiet and reserved than I thought it was going to be. And I think that's because they're just not used to be in a blue blood perennial winter, fresh off their natty. But for the most part, really, really cool people. I did get absolutely toasted in the sun, boys. Oh. It hurts to the touch. Oh, so you went cutoffs? I smoked. I wore the jersey, and I got just boom boomed, boys. It actually doesn't look that bad. It's worse than it looks, I promise. Why are you flexing so hard? I wasn't. It's okay. We like you, even if you know, big muscle.

So yeah, but yeah, had a lot of fun. I thought we played decently. Outrushed them, which is a... What was the final? It was 52 to 16, but that was not indicative. When I look, when I looked, it was closer. They 21 nothing dust in the fourth. It was closer when I looked.

21 nothing to us in the fourth. I thought Signetti could have taken a knee coming out of the two minute warning. They added one more. See, but like the whole route talk, if you really watch that game, look at the team stats here. Look at the total yards, guys.

Hey, look at the second quarter. Is that 367 to 365? We outgain them. How does the score? board say 52 to 16, well, we couldn't cover a kickoff to save our lives. Every kickoff, they ran back past midfield. Second and third quarter, you guys kept it 16 to 17. Exactly. So I'm really proud. It gives me a lot of hope. You know, you're up against it, against pocket aces there in Bloomington. Overall, the trip was awesome. One of my favorite trips with my mean

green peeps. Certainly love them to death. And we had fun. So on to the next one, UNLV this weekend. A&M, pitches a shutout. I want to say this. Marcel Reed through a deep comeback. in the first quarter of that game that I had not seen him rip a ball like that. On the move left, got downhill through like a 25-yard comeback right on the numbers. Yeah. See that? And I was like, ooh, the defense certainly looked good. Now granted, it was Missouri State. But still, we normally let, you know, a field goal or a little sneaky touchdown in. We kept the shutout. I got to watch a lot of this football game. Any discrevenances? I thought the offense at times there. Offensive line scares me. Offensive line. Didn't run the football. Oh, because he got multiple sacks early. Well, no, it's just,

Our center's a returner and then all other four guys are just fresh-y-s. 67 total yards of offense we gave up. I almost had 67 total yards Saturday. That's pretty crazy. That's pretty crazy. I mean, they're holding their chance high. It doesn't matter who you're playing. How much hell rushed for.

You know, they're brushing for 236. So it was a job well done. And when we talked to Mike Elko last week, I thought that ball club would be ready to play. Oh, we're ready. He seemed to have the boys in a good spot. ASU this week. The shockers. Ooh, that's a big one.

That's a big one. They did lose a lot. Is that game in? Calfield. We have three home games to start. That's how you want it. Must be nice to be a powerful school. Wasn't nice to be a power four school for Michigan, although we thought so. What's up with that, guys? That was crazy.

Crazy. Big Ten had their hand in that one. That was dirty. That was clearly time had expired. I want to know your thoughts part. Like, be honest. Just give it to me honest. I want to know your thoughts. Cody was side-texting me, and we had already like celebrated it. I was looking for that group of sixth school to get that prominent

when it was Western Michigan. It was done. I told the DP sports chat that we have, just roll reversal. Say that's Western Michigan, throw in the final pass. I don't see a scenario. I just don't see a scenario

where they're like, hey, there's one second left on the clock. Makes your eyes open. Large. True. So I just felt bad for the kids. What a gut punch to the kids. And then the audacity

for the Michigan fan base to storm the field. That was weird. That was weird. To be sure they came back from the dead. It didn't. It felt like their coach was doing the W. was over and then they came back and they're like no way it's insane to a m like for michigan

that wasn't your best you don't think just maybe switch shoes it's hard i just feel so bad for the wm u kids because they they they let themselves go there they were taking off the helmet they were dumping gatorade on the coach and then just for one second to be put that on hey and props to the kid who went up and high pointed that ball i was a way unbelievable catch so what Happened, happen. It's a travesty, though. That's the perfect word for it. So can I just explain why they made the ruling they did and why they backed it up? They're saying the clocks were not synced correctly. That's what they're saying is the clock on the broadcast wasn't synced with the game clock in-house. Now, the guy was out of bounds, but the still

shot they showed after the game-winning touchdown. Zeros. Zeros and the kid had not touched the ball yet. And which one is the official clock? The stadium clock or the broadcast clock? I guess the stadium clock is what they're saying. But the one that was in the stadium had the zeros. That's what I saw. They zoom in. I think they zoom in on the clock from the stadium for the broadcast sometimes. Well, then, of course, like, AI got a hold of it, and there's people like doctoring the video, so I don't know what to believe anymore. But, yeah, if you're a Michigan fan, count your lucky stars, because it didn't feel like you should have won. I mean, the Big Ten Conference had to come out and issue a statement.

If I was WMU, I'm trying to protest that for the rest of their lives. It's just brutal, man. There was a similar play years ago, if people remember, there was an intentional, it was Central Michigan playing Oklahoma State. And Oklahoma State purposely threw the ball out of bounds on fourth down, the final play. But it was intentional grounding. And so Central Michigan got one untimed down from midfield. It was when Cooper Rush was there and they hit a game-winning Hell Mary, the Chippewas. But by rule, it was an offensive penalty and it should not,

in Central Michigan, should not have had the chance. It's very similar. In Oklahoma State, I remember, like, tried protesting that one to no avail. So a similar situation. But anyhow, sad. On a high note, I thought the most impressive team this weekend, I don't know if y'all saw it after the big delay was down in BALSU. LSU put it on. I hate how good.

To the point, I was thinking, does Dabo get on the team playing home? I know. And I think we finally have seen it catch up to Dabo. He is not a big NIL guy whatsoever. He's trying to keep it old school. And I just do not think you can compete with the big dogs of college football. Doing it the old school way. Doing it the old school way.

And it showed how many rushing yards did they end up with? 40 boys. They entered the fourth quarter with zero. The way you said that, Spark, you just let's dumb this down a little bit for people like myself. Yep. The point there, because this is a conversation I saw was he doesn't like to bring in all the new recruits with the NIA. He's like, let's do this the old school way. Let's keep our players, build a culture and keep them here all for a year. 1,000 percent. And it's clearly in this case not working. It's obviously not working too well. 41 point loss for Clemson. I hate that for them. Did you all hear Lane going into halftime what he said? I was like, imagine if we had our pro players. He is, he is polarizing them. Oh, just, he says good with a straight face too. I don't hate it. I don't hate it. Love or hate Lane Kiffin, he provides some really good stuff.

Well, so what's the status there? They got approved. What's going to happen? The judge approved them. They did, but LSU chose to sit them because that's an ongoing with the Big 12, the SEC. If they win, let's say they go 12 and the SEC is like, they don't want to get removed. Yeah, yeah. Hmm. So you're saying the court approved it.

The conference has not yet. Correct. So LSU just. decided to go ahead and not use them as of now. Imagine we had our pro players. Is that exactly what he said? Yeah, he's like, imagine we have pro players with a straight face too. He didn't play.

Yeah, he's funny. In terms of individual efforts, I thought nobody did it better than Miami receiver Malachi, Tony. He's got Devonte Smith-Hisman type potential to him. Is he related to his tie or no? Yeah, I think so. I did too. Given how athletic he is, something about a kid who's like 170 pounds soaking wet, dominating college football game does it for me.

Just a little slot receiver. Program record 234 receiving. blowout win over Stanford. Yeah. 2.34. First guy to make a Heisman statement. That's why they put them on the cover of college football boys right there. Number two, Oregon survives unranked Boise State.

You never schedule Boise State week one. We know that. They got out of town. I think the biggest disappointment was probably Oklahoma State and their new barrage of talent. Lost. And now they welcome Oregon to town. Oklahoma State does. I expect them to play a lot better.

My wife's whole family pretty much went to Oakland. Oklahoma State, so they were all in town this weekend. So we were watching a man, they were, mostly Aubrey's brother, she was pretty sad. He was pretty sad. He was over from the jump? No, they just... No, they were in it, and it just kind of kept getting worse, and they haven't won a game in like...

13 straight, longest in the nation, losing streetwise. I felt bad for them. Yeah, I didn't feel as bad, given it, uh, it involved a lot of Ex-Nor, Texas player and staff. Um, Ole Miss, they won in a thriller over Louisville. Yeah, that was a good one. He's a stud, but they got to work on some defensive. a breakdowns. They can't be giving up 38 points like that weekend and week out because Trinidad can only

work so much magic. I do love him. I do love Ole Miss. But they got a, they got some work to them. It's like three busted coverages. Yeah. Just complete Hail Mary, see ya. It's, it kind of felt like you were calling defensive plays for Ole Miss there for a while. I agree. Defensive staff too. Yeah, I agree. Well, boys, all I know is I'm a happy camper because I had college football on all weekend. So it was live. Watch a ton in the hotel room. We've got, the good news is we still got about, I don't give or take, 14, 16 weeks after college football. So the party's just getting started. It did feel good.

And the party's just getting started here on Almost Athletes. We're going to take a quick break. Then we're going to talk about the professional, some NFL around the corner on Almost Athletes. Let's go. Almost. Football season is finally here and I could not be happier. I'm ready for 10 hours of action on Sundays

and 16 hours of stressing about my fantasy football lineup every other day of the week. My favorite thing about football season is that whatever food you want to eat while you're watching the game is fair game. Well, not any food. It might be weird if you rolled up to a football party with a tray of oysters, but my number one go-to is buffalo wings. Buffalo wings really are the ultimate football food, but the key to a great wing is a great buffalo sauce. It sure is, G, and Primal Kitchen is the official buffalo sauce of the NFL. It's also the official buffalo sauce for my taste buds, because it's made with high-quality ingredients like avocado oil and no seed oils. It's also made without any

corn syrup, cane sugar, or artificial sweeteners, and you can use it to make some delicious buffalo chicken chili, which is a great sleeper pick for football watching foods. Sleeper pick? I think you've been spending almost as much time on fantasy football as I have. You got me there. I went to a party that had Primal Kitchen original Buffalo sauce on the wings last season, and they were gone before kickoff. Because you ate them all? No, but I tried to. There was some hand slapping involved. Primal Kitchen Buffalo sauce is available nationwide and can be found at your local grocery store or at primalcitchen.com. Sparky, you know I've been struggling to find the right family car, but I think I've finally done it.

The craziest part, it actually might be a minivan. Whoa, you and Garrett are both turning into minivan guys? How did that happen? I've been looking for something that can fit all my kids and their stuff, but I can't just have features for the kids. I need stuff that Allison and I like, too. I feel like it's going to be impossible to fill your wish list, codes. I thought so too, until I found the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica and the car is NSFW. Oh, it's not safe for work? No, it's very safe for work.

It's NSFW because it's had numerous safety features within. Oh, I get it because the Chrysler Pacifica has way more than just safety features. I've been eyeing it because inside is a completely flexible space thanks to the Pacifica's stow and go seating and storage systems. So it's perfect for a camping trip with the boys or all the equipment for a shoot. That's right. So when I take Easton to soccer, I can flatten the second. and third row seats and fit his whole team's equipment in there.

But my favorite feature is the Stowe and Vac, so I can clean all my kids' messes out right when it happens, and I don't find a three-year-old cookie crumb all over the back seat. Yeah, I'm a messy eater. Sorry about that, Codes. But with this Stowe and Vact, I guess you could say you're a real VIP, vacuuming in park. Just let me handle the acronyms. I'm the minivan guy. Find if you're a minivan guy, too. Check out the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica at Chrysler.com.

It's football season and I love firing up the grill at a moment's notice and making some steaks, burgers, and dogs. There's nothing worse than getting a craving only to find out your fridge and your freezer are empty. I know exactly what you mean, Codes, because my fridge and freezer are almost always empty. Or at least they were until I ordered the burger perfection flight

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That's Omaha Steaks.com promo code athletes for $35 off at checkout. Terms apply. See site for details. Yummy. Welcome back to Almost athletes. Time to talk some NFL. This segment is sponsored by Primal Kitchen. We're going to look at some current hot takes

floating around the internet and tell you what we think of them and then we'll throw in a few of our own. Let's start with our least favorite team. Hot Take. New York Giants, playoffs. Yeah, absolutely. You think so?

If he stays healthy? That trio. If that's not that hot of a take, you're saying. Oh, Dart neighbors and Scatabo? That's a squad. Can they stay healthy, though? I don't know. Jackson Dart plays with Reckless Abandon.

obviously Scataboo coming off the knee injury. I don't think it's that hot of a take. I think the NFC East is a fairly stout division. I think the Cowboys can be pretty good. Philly has obviously been there and done that. It's not too hot of a take. They got to play defense though too there in New York. They're a really fun team to watch.

I'll say that. I don't know how successful they'll be. I think they've got a good foundation there for future success, but I think they still need pieces to add around. Healthy they do it. Healthy they do it. Okay. That's the big question mark regarding them.

will they be healthy? In the same vein, Cowboys miss the playoffs. Not this year. You don't think so? No. So that would be an extremely hot take for you? They're different. Again, I think it's all dependent on team health. If you don't have number four under center, you obviously are in a load of trouble, but that's just about any NFL team. You lose your starting queue. We do have four under center. Yep. Way up the rankings in terms of MVP odds. I think it's a Super Bowl run. I'd like to think that the Cowboys are deeper football team than they've been in the last couple of years. Overshown needs to stay healthy. They feel like a playoff team, look like a playoff team.

I think they ultimately will be a playoff team, given that offensive alone, should be having enough firepower to get you in. But I don't think it's too hot of a take. You lose one or two guys, and then all of a sudden, and offensive line is a big question mark right now regarding the Dallas Cowboys, as much as I hate to say it, right, tackle problems galore. Tyler Smith, the four-time Pro Bowler, is going to miss the first four weeks. so protecting Dak Prescott in establishing the run.

Big question marks. Do you keep receipts, spark? Yeah, sure. Cowboys, three playoff wins. Mark this spot, rewind it a few months. Three playoff wins. Next year, Super Bowl. Well, if they have a buy this year,

all it will take us three playoff wins to win the Super Bowl. So I'm hoping you're right on that. So you're saying, why are you get to the Super Bowl? Wildcard divisional and NFC title and they lose in the Super Bowl. Wow. So you're saying they're a sick man.

This year, we lose in the Super Bowl next year. We will have a horrendous. Rendis Valentine's Day, if that's the case, because the Cowboys go to Super Bowl. We will be there. We will be there. We, I like that. I like that. It feels like two perfects at least purchasing the flight over to the West Coast.

Here's another hot take. Do you agree or disagree? Cam Ward will struggle in his second season and be a bust. Yes, he will 100% struggle. Tennessee Titans just aren't the team. I just, I don't think he's enough around him. He doesn't have variable anymore. Not that he ever had him, but he was there.

and I just think Cam's not the guy. I watched Hard Knocks. Actually, he went in Hard Knocks. He was in the Netflix. He was in the quarterback show. I didn't ever watch quarterback on Netflix. How was he on that? I was about to say, I'm pulling for him

because I thought he was very likable. Likeable guy? You can tell he's working really hard. He was not the problem last year for them. Their team is horrendous. Yeah, it's one of those things where it's just no matter how good you are, what's around you is dictating wins or losses.

Who's their new receiver, Tate? Yeah, Carnell. who I love. Anytime you draft a first round wide receiver out of Ohio State, generally that works out for you. That's wide receiver you. Sacked 55 times last year, though. They have to protect him more.

My concern is new offense coordinator, Brian Daibow, came in and wants him to be more conventional. And I feel like that's a guy who's like game is predicated off being able to escape the pocket and kind of freelance and have his, you know, that's how he makes his money right there. So I don't know if a more conventional type offense really serves him well. so in that case I also think you're going to see a sophomore slump with Cam Ward. I don't think it's that ought of a take.

Next up, the commanders will be a bottom five team in the NFL. Of course, they lost Jaden Daniels last year. They were horrible defensively in 2025. It feels like forever since they were in that 24 NFC title game. Like, did you all remember they were in the NFC championship game 24? They struggled without them. Are they a bottom five NFL team? Only if he gets hurt.

Yeah. If he's there, they're not. No chance. think so? No. I don't think so. Yeah, if he's, if he's healthy in play in their playoff, let's go. Their French playoff team, for sure, when he's healthy, they do have to get way better defensively. I think that's a fairly solid take. I think they're right on the edge of being a bottom five team in the NFL. Cliff, Kingsbury there? Or did he move on? Cliff still? Cliff's gone. Clif's gone. We have new offensive court. Yeah, sorry. Yeah. Yeah, you didn't know that

Hey, whoa. Bottom five team? If Jaden Daniels gets hard. But we have David Blow. This is rookie year as an offensive coordinator. That's right. My roommate's brother from college. So it's a fun one. I don't know, you know, the commander's future. And I think that's the beauty of the NFL.

They could be a double-digit win team. They could be a bottom five NFL team. We'll see. Kyler Murray will lead the Vikings to at least 11 wins. That feels strong in my opinion. 11's a lot of wins in the NFL. I do feel like he has a good year, though. I should say this.

He has everything at his disposal. Like this now, he's not at the Cardinals. Sure. He's got an incredible receiver room. He should play well. I'm fairly dependent on him. I'm not in love with my fantasy draft this year. Never really am.

But I did take Justin Jefferson there late in the first. So I'm really hopeful that Kyler Murray shows out. I think this is a situation where, you know, new place, new found, love for the game. I'm with you. I just think Kyler kind of ran his course there in Arizona and just needed a new place. Like a Matt Stafford situation. Sure. Goes to L.A. and then grabs the Super Bowl first year.

Right. We're like almost both sides benefit from it. You know, obviously Kyler was kind of tired of being there. Arizona was in a situation where they're trying to rebuild, restart. So it makes sense. But 11 wins in that division feels pretty strong. So then let me ask you this. What's the hotter take?

Kyler Murray will win MVP or J.J. McCarthy will take over at quarterback and be a legit long-term. starter for the Vikings. I mean both are pretty hot. Well, I think JJ McCarthy being a long-term starter is the hot take. No, it's more likely. Yeah, Kyler winning MVP are you all insane? Love him to death, but he's capable of a JJ. We just haven't seen it yet. Yeah. That's why both are very hot. What's what's the hotter take? I mean, both are hot. They're meant to be kind of far-fetched here. I just, um, Kyler MVP? Here's what I'm saying. Kyler's from down the street. I'm pulling for him.

Tyler Murray, not a hot take. MVP absolutely could do it. JJ, I don't know you. I don't know you. You're getting too personal. I hope you're successful. I'm pulling for you. Well, there are personal attachments here with Baca,

who was on the show talking to school stereotypes a couple weeks ago. You're letting your personal stuff dictate your decision. I'm a person. As a absolute diehard Texas high school football fan, I do think he's the greatest Texas high school football player of all time. Wow. Biggest classification, three straight years, state titles without losing a game. I've never seen a better.

a high school quarterback. That is quite a lot. But I don't think he's winning 11 games. I think the more likely would be J.J. McCarthy takes over at quarterback, which they're not done with him and our good friend Jamie Erdall, who's going to be on the show later and was last week. She's a big J.J. McCarthy fan. Her husband also went to Michigan, so she kind of has to.

One of those situations. But we will see regarding the Minnesota Vikings. Next up, Patrick Mahomes will be healthy, but the Chiefs will miss the playoffs again. Is that a hot take? I don't think that's hot. I agree. Six and 11 last year. Yeah.

Offensive line and wide receiver room still big question marks. I think they're asking Patty to be a superhero, fresh off in ACL. But never doubt the kid from White House, the gunslinger from Texas Tech. He always seems to find a way to put his team in contention. So when it comes to Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs making the playoffs, I just almost assume if he's upright and healthy, they'll find a way in. Kenneth Walker. Yeah, big addition there.

Wanted him, didn't get him. Usually don't pay the running back position, but they needed running back help. I think he's going to be really good there. So you are in on Patty making the playoffs and saying I don't think they make the playoffs. Oh, wow. Okay. I just, I don't think they do. Oh, yeah, I don't think so. When I was watching again, a second time I've seen the Cowboys dock and I felt like I was

watching the Chiefs right now on the falloff. I was like, dang, that's like what we're living in this. They're leaving the window you're saying. Yeah, I think they're on the way out. Wow. But I mean, man, I'll be super impressed if that's not the case. The AFC is thicker than Andy's milkshake too. So that, yeah, it's going to be tough.

Next up, the Browns aren't as bad as people think. think. Is that a pretty hot take? How bad do people think they are? I'm seeing people like five five or wins or less, bottom five NFL team. I think it's pretty, that's not that hot. Just given how bad the quarterback play has been there. Their defense is actually solid. It's going to be Deshaun, right? Yeah, I think it's going to be Deshaun Watson. Is that confirmed? Shador's the backup? Yeah, and then the whole beef with like, I know that Deshawn's like, he was taking shots from the fan base and he was firing back at the fan base before the season ever starts. I'm like, that's probably not a good idea to call out your fans.

That place is where you go to disappear. He played ball in the preseason, though? He did. You can tell you just wants to play football. I respect that. No franchise. What causes them to be so dysfunctional? Is it the name of their team, the browns?

Is it the color palette? I think there needs to be the ownership. There needs to be Ivy League researchers go in. It's like the most incompetent, not only NFL franchise, but you're talking about the most dysfunctional sports franchise, I think, on Earth. You have to sympathize for Clevelanders. I mean, does it all go back to LeBron leaving Clevelanders? Cleveland.

Yeah. But he came back. He left to find that. No, it's been way before that. The Browns have stoned. I think LeBron has to play a role in this. In a league that's built off parody

for them to be that bad for that long and have that many poor quarterbacks. It's just insane. It's almost hard to do. So we'll see on the Browns front, but poor people, they have to live in Cleveland

and then also watch that and support that football franchise. It's tough. Thinking about you, Clevelanders. Next up, Tua makes the Falcons a lot more interesting than people expect.

I mean, it's interesting because he's going to throw three touchdowns and four picks. That's exciting football. How much of an upgrade is that from what the way they were already rocking there? I wasn't sold on Pinnock's being a bust. Are y'all were? I was. I'm not a huge left-handed quarterback, and they went one left-handed quarterback to another left-handed quarterback. This looks weird.

I know. I agree. The thing about, too, is obviously the guy hasn't been able to stay upright as well. He's battled the entry bug, so how dependable can you be? Does he ever get to wear the Dobbs helmet? He should. If there's ever a guy who needs the guardian cap on, it's two. Put two of those things on. Listen, you better believe I'll learn one of those.

That's why you're not. Poster boy for one of those. Football mini games, I expected one of the twins to come out. You know, I should have thought of that. Can we get ordered one of those? I would appreciate that. Thank you guys. For your rock climbing adventure.

He wants a guardian cap on his rock climbing helmet. Man, you guys are smart. You can never be too safe, dude. The Texans win the AFC South and make the AFC championship game. I like it. Guys, no. What? No.

Are you saying this just off of recency bias? It's just a tough year, yeah. That's your city, dude. Listen, let him climb back. They will improve. They're not winning the AFC championship game. Think about it is they have the defense that is definitely capable. If I was their staff, I would encourage Stroud.

He doesn't have to be a hero, man. He doesn't have to throw for 300 yards. Take care of the football. To that Nico, baby. Just take care of the football. Be a bus driver and all. I actually think this is not that hot of a take, given how stout that defense is.

They added David Montgomery for a little help. They added a little offensive line help to help keep Stroud upright. I don't think it's too far-fetched. I expect a big bounce back here from Stroud. I think he'll turn some heads of shirt. You know, and I expect his tie to continue trying to trade Woody Marks. Yeah, of course. All year long.

All year long. He's hawking him. I miss Ty. Next up, the bills finally get over the hump. Garrett's not here today. I know he's hoping for it. Joe Brady goes from OC to head coach. They added DJ Moore, one of the bigger offseason ads.

Yeah, I do too. The home run hitter there in the slot receiver position. I would love them. Is it enough? Yeah, I'm not a buffalo lover by any stretch, but seeing how close they've come to getting that thing over the finish line, tough not to root for them a little bit. I'm pulling for him.

I think it's my AFC little, you know, you can have an other conference, just a small little rooting interest. If there is not a Cowboys conflict, I would love to see them do it. And I'd love to meet them in a Super Bowl because traditionally speaking, Cowboys Bill Super Bowl means the Cowboys win and they win by a lot of points.

Last one, Kobe will be relegated again. It was tough to see my man in the B-League draft. last week with other employees. We do a relegation league here in Dude Perfect. Three tiers. Kobe moved down from A league to B league. Is it right back up? Parachew payment right back up into the big show? I think it's just as likely that I'm down to the C league.

No. I think I'll say put. Who's in the B league? I don't even know. A really good group of people. Heath's in there. I can tell you who's in the C league. Brendan and Jared will be more than happy.

Y'all are both in the C? We'll be welcome. Seed up. So guys, here's what'll say the Dude Perfect team has been growing. And so we did. we used to have an A league. Now we have three leagues, a lot of interest and fantasy here.

Yeah, things didn't go as planned last year, and that was bottom two, which means I dropped down. And was last year the year that you did wake up at 2 a.m. to get your free agents? Every year. Well, there's a 2?

I thought it was like 4.30. I'll say this code if you wake up at 2, it will not have happened yet. I wouldn't recommend that. Okay? That's crazy. And he got relegated. He was waking up at 3 a.m.

To grab waiver wire picks without using one of this. That's what hurts the most. Almost saved me. This guy was the opposite of cutting corner. I mean, there was no leaf unturned in his fantasy football. But let's go back two years. I would in the league. Didn't count.

You're Lester City right now. You're the small guy who won the league and now you're just falling. Fallen. Yeah, like Alicia Keys. Is that the year you traded with your brother in the last week and duped everybody? I met him in the Super Bowl. That was my second championship. Thank you.

That was my first runner up, which I'm still sick about. A little twin collusion. Sparky's been running up multiple times. And then I meet tie last year in the Super Bowl and he, he just absolutely berated Garrett Little's roster weeks before that. It's an unfair fight. I'll tell you what. So how do the twins do, fantasy-wise?

Which one of you guys is typically... Well, he's in the B-League, Jared, so... But I think he's better than Corey. Hey, your brother on draft night, by the way, we were mad. We were mad. I take back you being the slowest twin. This guy was on the last of the snake,

so he had to put two in. And he would show us that he's waiting on a text back from somebody. He's like, I can't pick yet. He's like, I'm waiting on a text. Like, dude, it's been 10 minutes. work night, we kicked that thing off at 8.30. Because y'all went manual draft. Yes, and we're pushing 11 p.m. and this guy is spending

his dear time thinking about his 12th and 13th round picks. It was crazy. Do you have a time? There's no like, clock. Our commissioner is Sean. No backbone that editor, Sean. Which, it's an unfair fight. That's a tough fight. Okay, well, then I need to know who do y'all think drops out of A league this year? Who's bottom two?

Jackson, that's more of a hope than I think. And, um... I think Scott. Scott's very distracted. He's onto the brain deals and making his... Good point. Nine to five. Patrick from art had no idea what he was doing, but that makes me think he's actually going to win the league.

Shout out Patrick. You had a good time that night. You cannot, you can't predict anything. You do your best. You can't. Shout out to the hot takes and shout out to Primal Kitchen. Original buffalo sauce made with avocado oil.

This stuff's good. It's good stuff. Let me tell you about it. It's good stuff. So I know Garrett's out today. Like, where's Corey been? I think, I don't think it's a secret. I think he is getting his,

his nose worked on. He's getting a nose job? He's trying to smell again. Oh, he's trying to go like Michael Jackson, make the nose small. I know, he does have a deviated septum like me. I think he's trying to taste this hot sauce, dude. Poor guy hadn't tasted anything in so long. He hadn't tasted a get crafty win or a battle win either in so long.

Yeah. I think he's gone, though, for a few weeks. So it's kind of, I feel like when he comes back, we should have a smelling contest to see how it actually worked out. Man, that's going to be a sad segment though when he can't smell a thing. You're real sad, and you're going to watch it right here on almost doubtwe. under his nose and he thinks it's something else. Oh, it's going to be a tough look. Yeah, I think we smell tested, though.

Sure. Could be good, could be bad, could be ugly. Boys, tonight, the NFL season starts. How are we celebrating week one of the NFL season? Anything special? I'm going to plan to sit my behind on the couch and do all seven hours with Scotty Hansen. I missed your brother.

Can't wait to reconnect. Can't wait, boys. It's going to be fun. That's awesome. Okay. I think that's it for football talk for now. I could go on for many hours more, but now it's signed for Fantasy Football.

punishments. We asked you delivered. A couple of weeks ago, we asked you to send us your league's craziest fantasy football punishments, and you guys did not disappoint. You can send us a voicemail with your questions, hot takes, or anything else at 972-805-8866. You can also find that number at almostathletes.com. Let's get into the punishments. Play the first one, J.B. What's up, dudes? Ben Merrillat here from Brumfield, Colorado. I heard you guys are looking for some fantasy football punishment. And I got to say, I think my league takes the cake. Our fantasy football punishment that we've been doing is the loser has to go play a round

of golf with random people, but the catch is they have to act like nothing is out of the ordinary as they're playing with an imaginary ball. They got to just go out and shoot driver shots with a T, but nothing on the T. They got to hit putts where nothing's in front of their putter. It's been pretty hilarious. And I haven't seen a better one. That's way up the list. That's good.

So you just decide where your ball landed from your shot? Yeah, but you gotta do it with like confidence and conviction. Someone sent this out to us and had done it. And it is, it's really good. He's right. It's funny.

Because like even on the putt, like the other guys think it's like, they're like, I guess he's just training, like just visualizing stuff. And like he puts it one time and they're like, good putt. He's like,

I missed it. And then he went like, tapped him the one incher. It's funny. It's all in the execution, and if you committed to it, it's funny. Dude, I'm such an average golfer. I'm scared even in an imaginary golf, I throw up like a 92. You go look for 20 minutes on the right.

That's just commitment to the bit. That's really tough. I love that. Well done. And golf, 18 holes of golf isn't a short session. That's a bit that you've got to keep up for four and a half hours. Oh. Hey, if you're a playing partner of that person, though, you're like, at least it's, you know,

you're playing quick golf at the end of the day. That's up there, though. That's an eight and a half out of ten. Yeah, that fly has been killing. We talked about at one point of making a punishment. Somebody had to, on all the par threes, they had to hit like four balls every time with a group of random people.

Because can you imagine watching a guy just keep pulling them out of his pocket and the disrespect? Yeah, that's pretty crazy. Now if you're golfing with that guy, you're like, oh my gosh, this guy's dropping four pocketballs on every two box. This is absolutely absurd. Pocket balls.

Yeah, eight and a half out of ten. Next. Hey, dude, this is Knox coming in from Myrtle Beach. I heard of you guys wanted to know, know about fantasy football punishments. For my league, the fantasy football punishment is a go caroling off season and then they go trick-or-treating off-season. Tell me how that sounds. King Corey, let's go. Trick-or-treating off-season is really funny. Yeah, that's costume-dependent, though. Like, you've got to go all out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't think I could carol off-season. I think that's one

step too far for me. I just don't know that I can even, you could do it. Yeah. I don't think I, but trick-or-treating off-season is like, you're kind of like what, like, it's not that traditional. Like, people aren't really maybe is a little confusing what you're seeing. If you see somebody come up and trick or treat in May. With a bucket. That's funny. Oh, the trigger treating is not during. Right.

It's in April. It's in October 31st. Like 8.30 p. You're just rolling up with a with a pumpkin. In a trigger treat. Bumblebee's outfit. Yeah, that's up there. That's funny.

Depending on how many, how much trick or treating you have to do, that could even top the imaginary golf. I would say it's even funnier of you have to bring your kid. Because if your adult is just weird, if you're bringing your kid and you trick-or-treat off season. That's funny. Why does the kid have to get roped into the parents'

Because, dude, if somebody, if a grown man's knocking on my door and a Woody from Toy Story, yeah, from Woody from Toy Story outfit, I'm like, I'm going to pass on opening this. That's good. That's healthy. I think you would get some good stuff, though. We're two for two right now. That's all I know. They just grab from their actual pantry. I'm like, here's a king-sized snickers.

Yeah, I'm low. I've got some six salty crackers I could give a kid right now. That's good. We're two for two. Next. Hey, dudes. I had a really bad fantasy football challenge. You have to, my brother's one, you have to run a milk mile. So you have to chug a gallon of milk and run a mile. I was just, want to hear your thoughts.

See ya. There's some punishments that just are the writing on the wall that I no longer want to play fantasy football. That's probably one. If I'm in that league and I lose, it's just like, hey, I'm hanging them up. I'm not doing the punishment because I don't want it back. enough. A milk mile is about as bad as it gets. Yeah, I don't even need the mile part. Just drinking a gallon of milk in one sitting. Like it's

crazy and I love milk. A lot of people ask me about there was a gaming video way back in the day we called the Death Cup. If you remember, we had to eat a whole like jalapeno. One of the worst days of my life because I chased that with a half gallon of milk to try to get my mouth to calm down. Just a lot going on. It's a rough night. I was Charzard. Yeah, that's a bad one. Brutal. Yeah, but not out my mouth. Yeah, that's tough one. That's a league ender for me, milk. That's a league ender. No thanks. Next.

I was calling in about fantasy football league punishments. A really fun one that we did a long time ago was the guy that got dead laugh, had to wear a red polo and khakis and walk around to Target for four hours. He was going to lead target. He had to stay in target for four hours. It was just so fun to see. The number of times you needed to tell people that he did not work there. That's funny, dude, and their facial expressions and respond.

That's funny. That's up there. That's a good wheeler, dude. It's almost worse if you actually had to make people believe you did work there, and you had to point him to five. Yeah. Yeah, it's up there. Yeah, these are good.

These are healthy. Fantasy football punishments have come a long way. It used to be just, hey, you lost. Now it's like, hey, you lost and let me embarrass you and your family lineage. That's pretty good. That's a good one. Next. Hey, dudes.

This is math. you. So for this year's fantasy football punishment, we're going to have the loser sign up for the school talent show in the spring, and the winner gets to decide what they perform for the entire school. Let me know if you have any improvements for our punishment. Thank you. Oh, so this is one where the winner gets to kind of play in on the punishment too. That's always fun when the winner gets to decide somebody's fate a little bit. That's when you hope Cody's not in your group. I mean, he'll push the limits. He'll push the limits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like he's looking for that opportunity. Question. If you got last in this league and had to do a talent show skit, what

are you doing? I don't even know what I would do in a talent show situation. If it's your choice or what would you make your friend do? Well, I think Cody should play trombone. Yeah, there we go. That's good. Do you? Well, he played a little trombone for us and it didn't sound too. He didn't sound like an HBCU. Wow, I missed that. Was I rock climbing? I don't know. Are you know? Are you a long time viewer? You should have heard it if you were rock climbing. Sound like Southern band. Yeah, I don't know what I'd do in a talent show, but I'd know what I'd make a friend do,

and that's like a ballet, a full-on just like ballet with some twirls, and that'd be fun to watch you do that. See, I'd make you drink five bottles of peptobismal and see what happens. See, that's not talent, though. Who at the talent show was like, yeah, this guy's chugging five peptos. That's performance art. Yeah. You're going to, like that one.

Reverse Joey Chestnut me. That's good, though. That's good. I like that the winner can dictate. Last one. Hey, my name is Sadie from Starfle, Mississippi, and I have a good fantasy punishment for the loser, and it is you have to wear a blindfold and noise canceling headphones during the Super Bowl.

Oh, that would not be fun, especially for me because I love football. You know, it's one of the few times I felt bad for Cody Jones because you know this. You know, because you know this world. You had the wheel spin, and you are a huge Man City fan. And I actually, truly felt bad for you when we were at Turfmore watching Burnley v. Man City. And this man was blindfolded for the whole football game. I was so mean to me. I felt so bad for you that day.

I really did. They didn't. They were laughing and loving. I wasn't. That's up there. I have a question. Do you think it's better or worse of a punishment with the headphones? Because I think with your eyes covered, but you can hear what you're missing out on might be worse.

No, because you can at least keep up with the game. and hear the conversations. You think FOMO is full on. See, if I didn't have a high. You're in the room with your friends and the Super Bowl's happening, it's worse because you genuinely have no idea. Yeah, you're right.

You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. That's, gosh, that's bad. That's another league punishment where it's probably best suited just to go ahead and leave the league. Watch the Super Bowl and leave the league if that comes. There's always another league you can join. That is bad.

That's a good one, though. That's tough. That's funny. Which of these do you think was the worst punishment? Comment below and keep those voicemails coming. once again, the number is 972-805-8-8-66. Thank you to everybody for chiming in.

All right, we're going to take another break, and then we're going to come back with Jamie Erdahl. She stopped by, and we have some fun involving candy, some NFL teams. That's coming right after this. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it.

I'm CIA, and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring. it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. This episode is brought to you by booking.com. I took a great trip to Indiana this weekend to see my alma mater, North Texas play their opener, and it made me want to go to all their away games. That's a lot of traveling, and booking stays near all those colleges can be a real headache.

Unless you use booking.com. Wherever you decide to go, it's easy to find and book the right stay with booking.com. I'm thinking about Tulsa or checking out the Navy game in Maryland or there's the two lane game in New Orleans. I know booking.com could help me find a great hotel in the French quarter. Just make sure you get some vignets while you're there. Bring me back a few while you're at it. So where are you going to book first? That depends. Can I get PTO for all of this? We'll talk about that off-camera sparks. I'll take that as yes, Cody. Do what I'm going to do and go on. Book that trip. It's easy. Booking.com. Booking. Yeah.

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Jamie, since you love your sour candy, we've got some here, along with some other candy, we want you to pick out a piece of candy and tell us what NFL team or player it's most like. Oh my gosh. I'm entirely too far from this right now. Yeah, we can move this. So it's not just the sour candies, though. Not just the sour candy. We got a great assortment here.

So I'm making a parallel between a team or a player. Correct. First of all, these are my favorites. Let's just start out. What are these? What are these? Sour punch straws. Sour punch straw.

Right off the. The other way you would know them in the mechanism is in like the long rectangular boxes. Yes. And they're like the skinny tubes. I like those. That's what those are. They just made them shorter, wider, and multi-flavor. That's a tour favorite of ours.

Mm-hmm. You know, I already. I can pick out the Cowboys, but I'm not going to give you my bias here. Can we change the game a little bit? Can we just do teams? Yeah. Teams is fine. Players are hard.

To do it cross. Okay, so first I must describe the candies. And then I think I will be able to land on the team. So this love of candy, definitely not a joke. No. What is your favorite? Oh, well, you just told us. This is my favorite sour candy.

It used to be. Sorry, my mouth is watering. It used to be sour skittles, but then skittles mess with me a little bit, and they change their lime to green apple, which I wholeheartedly disagree with as a principal. So once we go back to the lime, then I can talk again. But until then, we're going to sour punch straws. Okay. Okay.

I don't know what I, these are airhead, sour airheads. Those are actually really good. Airhead extraneous. Okay, let's start with that since I don't know them. I eat a airhead extreme. So you're masquerading is something else that I like you as, which is an airhead. And now you're...

Something different. You're chopping yourself apart. You're adding multiple flavors and you're trying to be extreme. The airhead's extreme are the Dallas Cowboys. Okay. Mm-hmm. This is my Dallas Cowboys team.

I appreciate you as a brand without the extreme there, but it's... You weren't always. my first pick. I would consume you if you were in my trick-or-treat bag

but once you became an extreme and you added more you know more characteristics to the flavor profile you're my Dallas Cowboys Wow that was really well said I just really well said

Thank you I hate chewing in his microphone Also also not a great candy No offense to her head extreme I like just regular airheads The point of the airhead is because you're like I want that blue raspberry airhead

I actually don't need them to be all together in one. But, you know, I'm open-minded. Again, we go to this brand. I'm never going to get a candy sponsorship out of this. Or maybe I won't. Sweet tarts. A legendary brand. Why are we trying to change it?

Gummy halos. And you're allegedly... Those are rings, too. I'll never call those halos. And you're allegedly tart and chewy. And then there's like this, the white bottom side. What is this? So what is this, what is this team? Who are you? Let the candy talk to you.

Sweet tarts, gummy halos, Atlanta Falcons. What are you? What are you? How are I going to get Kyle Pitts going? Who are you on defense? Is that the right spot for Kevin Cefansky? Yeah. What is going on in a quarterback?

These are not that good. A lot of questions, more questions than answered with our gummy halos. Atlanta Falcons. Sweet tart, gummy halos, Atlanta Falcons. That's just not great. I like how it just flows to it. It comes to you. It's not even like, you don't even know what you're doing.

Let's get away from the gummy candies. Because, yeah, you need to. What should I go for a chocolate? A pallet cleanser. I'm not a big chocolate person. I'm a Reese's guy, myself overall. Well, Twix too. I love Twigs.

I love Twigs if I had to pick one there. Okay. See? You watching your figure for your dating show? Yeah, I actually. 100% am. Funny you say that. That's so fun.

Okay. This is an elite, classic. candy. And it's consistent. And I love that it's teed up as a one-biter. You don't even got to think about multiple bites. That is an elite classic candy. One-biter. The Rams?

A perennial power? A perennial power. I mean, it's never wrong. Yeah. The Reese's is never wrong. Regardless of season. It's good. I like it.

I like the Rams. It beats head-to-head. It beats most other candies. It does. It does. Reese is hard to beat. Yep. Okay. So far we got. Is it right?

Yeah, Rams. Falcons, Cowboys. I'm fearful that I took the Cowboys off the board too early, but I'm committing to the airhead extreme. Okay. Um, Swedish fish annoy me. So we'll start with that. Really? What is it? Is it the sticking to the teeth? See, this is where I would have gone with Dallas Cowboys because to me, I feel like this is one of the most popular candies out there. You don't get the buzz? But I don't understand why. Okay, but here's what. Here's what it is. The reason why Swedish fish annoy me is, is. because it's just the same.

It's monotonous. It's a monotonous candy. Every bite. The Cowboys have changed, okay? So they can be the airheads extreme. The team that has just, is monotonous and just hasn't changed. The Browns?

Yes. They've never changed. They get stuck in your teeth. They never change their ways. They always draft a QB and they switch it. But I still will consume them. They don't ever meet expectation, but you find yourself still chewing.

I'll still watch. Yeah. I'm still going to watch the Browns. I'm still going to eat Swedish fish. Swedish fish, would you consider that a seafood? Yes. Yeah, that's a seafood for sure. And the Cleveland Browns are the seafood.

It's just like a chicken of the sea question. I love the Browns call here. That's really good. What we got next? I need your help with us. So just directionally. What about a first ballot Hall of Famer who's been around forever? And that's the Hershey Kiss.

Who's the Hershey Kiss? Well, you think it's first ballot Hall of Fame. The Hershey Kiss is like the Yankees of candy. But I'm not switching sports. So... I mean, they are good. Longevity matters. The Patriots?

It can also melt, though. The Patriots? You're just proving my point. Yeah? I'm okay for the Patriots there. I mean, it looks like a... It kind of looks like a trophy. Yeah.

They have some of those. They do. It's... It's not... Well, no. Steelers have... won enough for them and that would be adjacent to Hershey, Pennsylvania. That's my only other. Ooh, yeah. I have to see what you did there. Yeah. It's pretty good. But I'm going to stick with

Patriots. We haven't talked about the Steelers at all today. We haven't. And I don't, I don't, I don't yeah. You don't need to. Okay. The other, I actually just don't love, you're going to hear my inherent bias about chocolate candy. I don't like Eminem's. I don't like Eminem's. I don't like Eminem's and she picks up 13 in her left hand is awesome. I don't like Eminem's. They masquerade. with their different colors, as if they get to taste different, which they don't. Yeah. So what's our masquerade team? Who's pretending?

That they got all the pieces, but really they're all just the same. Hmm. The chiefs? Hmm. It feels, that feels wrong to do to them after the bread, but, I mean, it's not. Do they have all the pieces, though? This season will tell. They don't know.

They definitely don't. They definitely don't have all the pieces. Is it the chief? No, no, I got a bear. I got a barrow. The Chargers. I knew it. The Chargers.

Susie's fired up about that call. I love this. I love. It's every year. They, they, I agree. This is the Chargers. You're so hopeful that this is going to be satisfying. And this is going to satiate what you were looking for out of like a candy experience.

But mostly you're just left being like, I either need more M&Ms, which I need more of a sample size from the Chargers. Or you go to pick something else. Same old. chargers. Yeah, so I don't even want to finish this handful. I took too many. He can put him right back. You're on fire right now.

Thanks, ma'am. What about the OG? Snickers. You're not you and you're hungry. That's a tough one. What team makes me hangry, therefore I have to reach for a Snickers? This is a very complex candy, by the way. Yeah, it has a lot of layers.

A lot of layers. Mm-hmm. The Packers. I was going to say Packers, too. You were? Yeah, that's what I was thinking. How have you not consumed any candy? until this point. My figure. I got a dating show, Jamie. Yeah, he did put on a couple.

Post-tour, post-tore. Yeah, it was bad. Are you having my favorite candy? Yeah, I just... Okay, this is for sure the Packers. It's great. It's easy to eat. Fun to watch. It's very complex. Most of the time, besides the Reese's, it is an elite candy. But then there's like some new blood that comes in where you're like, I don't know if I would grab the Snickers. I agree. Well said. Well said.

Still stands the test of time, but you got the new school. Okay, I'm going to rapid fire the rest of these because I refuse to let anything. We got to go with Saur-Punch straws as the Vikings. I was going to say that. Vikings. It's your favorite. But then I'm going to give the Twix to the Broncos. Okay.

Just because, again, we kind of called out the Reese's of Snickers and the Twix. These are elite chocolate candies, but this has a little Sean Payton crunch to it. Okay. Sean Payton's like, he's, he's, he likes to mix it up. He does like to mix it up. Okay. What are we about saying? Twizzlers.

Oh, they're also kind of like Swedish fish adjacent. I don't know how they're still around in the little year, 26. The 49ers, maybe? Just for, for, um. The bills. I'm just going fast now. It takes you a long time to get to the center of the blow pop. And you just don't know if it ever happened.

And like, are you going to stay committed to it? Yeah. How many licks till you win a Lombardi? Exactly. I don't like movie So who's your least favorite football team? Is that Chicago? Yeah, growing up a Viking.

Kind of outdated too. Like Soldier Field, they need a facelift. I mean, you're the one putting the words in my mouth at this point. I like it. Outdated, I like it. Do bears. We got, we got crawlers.

We got three. Crawlers. Lifesaver. Life savers is bland. Though they are the gummy, better than the hard candy version. This could be like a, this could be like a Jacksonville. Or a dolphins. I was going to say,

Miami, yeah. That's a sunshine state kind of vibe. These are really good in the movie theater. Okay, so who's cinematic and dramatic and theatrical? I just dropped one. They're also good, though. The lions? As of late.

They are as of late. Last five years lions. Kind of must-see TV. Or Eagles. I was going to say Eagles. I just didn't want to say it. This just feels like not physically representative of the Eagles. I agree.

This candy is confusing. you know, because you don't know what end of the worm you're going to get. You don't know what the different flavor combinations are. Yeah. Maybe this is the Eagles. Anybody the Jets? Twizzlers. Yeah, Twizzlers.

I was going to say, man. What a great game. Yeah. This is such a fun game. We should do this for every league. Yeah. That was impressive. Yeah.

Thank you. Your answer was really well-thought. It's like you've played it before. Uh-uh. You do this in here. Yeah. You've done this at home. I just love describing candy.

And I just stumbled into that with football. Mm, what a fun game. Yeah. Thank you, guys. What a gift. If we had enough candy, we'd go through all the 130 FBS college football teams, too. But unfortunately, you saw the candy. You're Texas Longhorns.

Yeah. Your Texas Longhorn. Beef stroganoff. It's like, whoa. I don't know how you got there, but it makes sense. Beef stroganoff of all foods. Well, I was thinking Bivo, you know, beef stroganoff. Wow.

Beef. Didn't go there. Yeah. Did you go to Texas? No. I didn't. Oh, no. Never admitted me in with my high school grades.

Me neither. I was a terrible student, too. We share that in common. Good at athletics, bad at schooling. But it was, I wasn't bad at schooling. I just probably didn't apply myself the way I should have. You know what? We found our way.

And now we're going to find your way to a bride. Yeah. We need all the help we can get, including you as a host. Yes. You got to talk me up, though. You can't be like, hey, by the way, this guy smells bad. I would never do that on. a microphone that's open.

Yeah. I'm just getting off the record. I think this is a fantastic idea and I totally will help. You should, one of your like trip date should be to GMFP or something. Yes. We can make that happen. And if I can't host it, then I will do the post, what is those recap podcasts? Like you watch the episode and then you like deep dive it afterwards with a bucket of popcorn

and my favorite sour candy. There we go. It's like Topanga, American Idol. Yes. Yes. Did she do that? Yeah. Oh, that's cool.

I don't know her real name. Depanga. I know. Danielle Fisher? Oh, yes, that's it. That is it. Look at you. Thanks.

Wealth of knowledge. Yeah, I'll tell you. Outside of football, too. You would, you know. Daniel Fisher is the Oreos of, no, I'm just kidding. Now, for the rest of the day,

I'm going to be paralleling food to people in my life. Okay, the U.S. Politics have been a big thing. How do we fix this great nation? No, I'm kidding. Thank you, Jamie. She was like, no way. No, gosh.

No, no, We're jumping in. I have two things I stay off limits to, politics and anything that NFL owners do. Yes, we don't touch politics. Okay, this NFL owner spoke about politics. Right? That's a double whammy. No, thank you.

Sentence you've ever heard, other than what fantasy advice, I bet you get so much fantasy advice questions your way. To make you sick. I think I'm going to take a year off from fantasy, by the way. I would love nothing more, but I'm locked into this relegation league. What does that mean? We have three leagues. It sounds like your Premier League soccer.

It is. Bottom two, get kicked out of the league. That's our punishment. And I got kicked out last year. So you don't get to play this year? He's in the B league. He's in the second division. Oh my gosh. And you're with like art director Sam, you know?

And you're like, this is... We love art director, Sam. We do. But, you know, at the end of the day, you want to be with the boys in A league. Heard. Do you have an auto draft threshold after so many rounds? Do you go on auto draft?

You see it through? Yeah, we see it through. See, that's... That inherently means that I was ready to. to tap out. My auto draft threshold is like round five. You got your four ringers and you said I'm good. That's incredible. Yep. So then not only am I riding with the guys

that I drafted, I'm riding with the guys that I auto draft guys you drafted. That's good. Everybody give it up one last time for Jamie Errtle. Thank you. The best of the best. Whoa. J.B. Blue his whistle. That means it's time for our two minute rank. It's ran on

anything you want. Praise anything you want. If you want to go that direction with it, young boy, he's got anything? If I were to have one, it would be about kids homework. Yeah. I've got a fourth grader now and it's already over my head. And it's like four pages front and back. And I'm like, dude, I got my own life to live. Why am I over here doing algebra with that's fair. That's fair. So it's not about the homework. It's about it being over your head. It's like, why are we? Well, that sounds like a personal problem, Cody, but I'm with you. But I'm to the color wheel and two plus two. I got one. I got one. Somebody told me the other day

that it's likely that baseball, there's a lockout next season. Yeah, super sad. I know. And they were real worked up about it. And I was worked up in a different way. I was like, that is the best news. I have seen in a long. You're telling. You're telling. You're me, this is a praise, that they're physically will not be a baseball season next year? I was like, that is unreal. That's unreal. Can he switch spots with Cody?

Why would that make you happy? Dude, that means they got to come up with something else to put on TV during that time. Banana ball is about to go through the roof. If you're banana ball, you got to be jazzed about that. Rack back flips and stuff. Yeah, no doubt about it. What does a kid like me do? I'm missing out on all that summertime baseball.

I'm worried about it. I'm going to have a pretty. Oh, look how big my smile is. I mean, it's insane. He's too happy about this, Jay. You should go buy a boat, Sparky. That's a long summer. You know who's not mad about it?

The baseball players. They're going to be golfing, fishing. Yeah, their paychecks aren't going to be hitting, though. Indoorse. I think it's a perfect time to do turkey and all that. All the things I've been waiting on buying the home. I just all smashing in during baseball season. Let me see the hairline.

How are we looking? It's not bad. I don't think you need a turkey trip. Yeah, looks good. I need a turkey trip, dude. I appreciate you being nice, but... Look down? Okay. Yeah, there's a little, there's a little, yeah.

All right. We all fight that battle. Well, do we? Do we? Yeah, we don't know all. To different degrees. To different degrees. I still may need your, your Austin guy. Great. I don't know if turkey's going to play. That's good. I guess thank you for your rant, Cobes.

I'm a big fan of it. Enjoy a banana ball next year. It's not a pre-request. Listen, huh? Yeah, I did. A prayer request is funny. I don't even know who's praying. Baseball players, I'm telling you, they're fine with it. Well, at least we've got football season, and we have it now.

This fly has caused havoc. But looks like our time is up. If you like this video, be sure to check out our NFL season preview right here. We'll be back next Wednesday with an all-new app. Until then, almost athletes, pound it. Noggin. See ya. Almost, hey, almost bad.

Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siyaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll.

So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. You know,