Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect - Nate Bargatze x Dude Perfect | Halloween Candy Draft, DoorDash Confessionals, SNL | Full Episode

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

Comedian Nate Bargatze joins the Dude Perfect crew for a hilarious new episode! Nate and the Dudes draft the ultimate Halloween candy lineup and talk all things Halloween. Plus, they swap their craziest DoorDash order stories, hilarious "Almost Athlete" moments from Nate's childhood, an unexpected moment with Dave Grohl at Saturday Night Live and so much more. Then, after a huge win at the first-ever DP Wives All-Sports Golf Battle, Tyler's wife joins in to give all the behind-the-scenes details of the shoot and what it's like to live with a Dude. Chapters:  00:30 Intro  02:20 Garrett's Hole In One 08:30 Nate Bargatze's Introduction 16:15 Nate Bargatze's Almost Athlete Moment  25:00 Doordash Stories  34:10 Best Halloween Candy Draft  54:45 Halloween Stories  57:05 Nate's Comedy Origin  01:11:10 Bethany & Tyler Toney Introduction  01:14:15 Bethany's Almost Athlete Moment  01:25:50 Voicemail 1: Which DP Family Would Win All Sports Battle  What to do now: 1. Smash that LIKE button 2. Hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a DP podcast moment 3. Drop a comment with who YOU want to see on Almost Athletes next! Subscribe for more! ‪https://www.youtube.com/@almostathletes • • • • Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is (almost) a sports podcast. Tune in weekly to hear the dudes’ hottest sports takes, great debates, interviews with your favorite athletes and entertainers, and hilarious BTS from all things Dude Perfect. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Follow along on all platforms. Listen to the pod on your morning commute or wherever it finds you: Apple: - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/almost-athletes-with-dude-perfect/id1834502483 Spotify: - https://open.spotify.com/show/55gaQm31JIbp6td7QtYsPU?si=6423db3118ac497f Follow Almost Athletes to keep up with the Dudes!: https://www.instagram.com/almostathletes https://www.tiktok.com/@almostathletes https://x.com/almostathletes_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I give the dashers $10 on a tip every time. Is that middle tier or is that the upper tier? No, you got to type it in. Oh. It's not based on your order size? No, it does. But I do it as a punishment to myself. Okay.

As I go, this is what I deserve. Welcome to Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect, A Wave Original. I'm Garrett. I'm Sparky. Happy Halloween, dude. Yeah, Halloween week, man. Nolly, yeah, you know, not my favorite holiday. But it's okay.

It's some people's favorite. I'm not going to take it from them. Yeah, it's a fringe top three for me. But yeah, when October rolls around, I'll celebrate. I'll hop into a costume Friday. Yeah, we got a fun interview that you did with Nate Bargazzi. Yeah, that guy's pretty funny. Drafting your favorite Halloween candies.

It gets heated. And we're going to go behind the scenes with Ty and Bethany, the winners of all sports golf battle that launched this weekend. And she is the first wife to get the nod on the pod. So, congrats, Bethany. And I had a special weekend. So let's get to it. Garrett, let's cut right to it, dude.

I saw the rundown and audibly made some noise. My mouth dropped. It says Garrett, whole in one over the weekend. Explain yourself. Is this video game? So. This is real life. This is real life.

This is real life. Yeah, honestly, can we just talk about the weekend before we get to it? I started out the weekend with a phenomenal Manchester United win. We look back. We look great. we go right into the football slate. I mean, just a great day. Beautiful fall weather.

Almost had Texas lose. It's okay. It's okay in Mississippi State. I'm not mad. It's fine. They blew that, though. And then the big old game, A&M, LSU, first half, I was not happy. Sloppy.

Sloppy, sloppy football turned into absolute. I can't, I'm still on a high from what I witness. Oh, as you should be. Is that the best football? NM's ever played. We go ahead and just put a smackdown on LSU, embarrass them. We'll come back to that. Going to Sunday morning, I'm like, you know what? Let's go enjoy this fall, fall weather. Fam, I got my father-in-law in town. Let's go, let's go play some golf. Let's go play some golf. Enjoy the weather. So we did. We did, and we're making the rounds. And it was like, my whole

family's playing, my daughter, my wife, my father-in-law, my boys. We got a good, we got a good, six I'm going and uh the day's great get to the last hole par three it's an 18 so we didn't we didn't play 18 holes with it was the whole family didn't play 18 holes that's why people might be like well that's not a hole in one whatever because it wasn't 18 give me the breakdown I'll let you know we get to the final hole um to par three my my oldest two's and my youngest and my middle are both very good golfers yeah they are and uh they're like hey dad, let's do closest to the pin. I'm like, great.

It's 118 yards. Sure. Let's do it. Let's have fun with it. I'll just drop a ball down, didn't even tee it up. Just going to work on. Actually, it was a 58. Okay.

I was going to work on just my full 58, you know, whatever. Hit it. I mean, at this point, I've had too many heartbreaks. Sure. I've had too many balls that look straight at the pin and never, come close to you're guarding your heart is the balls in the air. That's going to be puttable and that's going to be close. That's going to be hard to beat boys. Like, I hit it and I'm like,

good luck beating that. You know, like, you're just putting one on both of your sons. Yeah, dude. I got to beat the kids. Get you a taste to that. But I, but I stay watching it. And I'm just like, that looks pretty, I looks pretty good. If that, if that carries the hill, we got a chance to party. We got a chance. Hits, hits the flag stick. I'm like, oh, that was so sick. bounces back and then proceeds to go forward and disappear.

And I'm like, what did I just watch? So this had like Bugs Bunny with a magnet under the green space jam kind of vibes to it? The pin was kind of tucked behind the hill. So like it bounced back uphill. It had some spin on it and got the hill to roll down. But I'm like, it's over the hill. Like, no way that went back in. I'm not boys go ahead and hit.

Boys did great. My wife did great too. I mean, she put it eight feet. So we get up there. There's no ball on the, there's, my ball is either rolled off the green or it's in the cup. And there's, there's people on the tee box. I'm like, Kristen, don't do it. I was like, don't do it.

Do not celebrate right now. This is, let's just, let's just see what happens. Let them tee off, walk up to the cup. Balls in the hole, dude. My gracious. Yeah, 118 is the exact same distance. I got my acer. And anyways, it was like one of those things where I'm just like,

I didn't really care about the hole and one I just cared about meeting the boys you know first and foremost yeah you got to show who wears the pants but uh it was a great nightcap to an unbelievable weekend it did it in there though brother oh we're not done it in there because we go and we're sitting at dinner we're sitting at dinner you know a hole in one at dinner no

we're sitting at dinner and I'm sitting there and uh there's a couple behind me aggies love them gig them baby and they're talking to N IL I'm not going to get in their way. You fresh off your hole in one. Let them enjoy the victory they had. Cheers to the boys. Phone starts buzzing.

Buzzing, buzzing. There's something going on. Was it me? Brian Kelly fired from LSU. Yeah, I ran that man out of town. What a nightcap to an unbelievable weekend. When you get a coach fired, you did your job. You did your job, right?

It's a happy plane ride home, especially given what's happened there. LSU over the years for the Aggies. But you said it best before we got on today. Put the death in Death Valley. Yeah. You know, you guys call it Death Valley and you guys are absolutely right. RIP, Brian Kelly.

He didn't, I mean, he's still with us. He's still with us. He's just not, no longer the coach. And LSU fans are rejoicing over this. Yeah. I think LSU fans were cheering for, I mean, once

that third quarter started, I think they flipped and were like, y'all just go ahead. I even think the players quit. and wanted to get Brian Kelly fired. That's what it looked like. Would you see some of the old players, some of the former players, like quote tweeting,

his firing with like smiley emojis and stuff? Yeah, I mean, dude, it's a bad low. It got pretty nasty in there. Yeah, once it got sideways there in the second half, I think you're right. The purple and gold of LSU were kind of like, hey, make this bad enough where BK's out of town. Yeah.

He's out of town. Well, you're welcome LSU fans, but you're not going to be welcome for what I'm about to say. Ooh. Because if you ever compare Death Valley to Kyle Field, no way. Our fans don't leave at 10 minutes left. I don't care if it to beat down.

I mean, what I saw, if I'm a recruit, if I'm a recruit, and there was a bunch of five stars at that game, why would I want to go to a place? I don't care about the pay. I don't care about any of it if your fans quit on you. They straight up, quit, dude.

I couldn't believe it. Like, that place was empty. Silent too. It was like they were playing the quiet. I mean, it was a home game for us in the fourth quarter. Yeah. Long traveling eggs. Why do you want to go?

I mean, nothing to get every LSU person I know, great human being. Like, I love LSU people. That's that. But like, but like why are you, why are you quitting on your team like that? Fair. Nate, which we're having on later, picked against us. Yeah, he did on game day. And I'm glad you got the loss there, Nate.

Never pick against the Aggies. Speaking of Nate Bargats, he's a busy man, you know, did college game day this weekend. But he rolled through town while he was on tour. And before he went over to the Vandy game, me and Ty sat down. Talked a little Halloween. Talked a little sport. It's a lot of fun.

He's a funny dude. So let's go to that interview with Nate Bargatsy. Welcome, Nate Bargatsy. Wow. Thank you, thank you. That's the biggest ovation. Yeah. That's a crowd that we've had.

Definitely the biggest. I feel like it's Halloween, not realizing it. Like a pumpkin or something. Well, these chairs don't do you any favors. I've had my fair share complaints. I usually actually like to go with the back pillow, but you're in my seat. And so... It feels like it.

It's just, yeah, it's kind of weighed down a little bit. Yeah, no, these seats are very comfortable. Thank you, thank you. I've never been a back pillow guy. I don't like it. Why? I think it pushes me out. Well, that's the whole point is that now your, like my feet don't really touch the ground naturally sitting like this.

Yeah, but I think I like bad posture. You welcome it? Because that's more comfortable. Yeah. And I feel like when you have it out, like you know, like how you, yeah, some seats can have that thing push your back out. Sure. I see it helping sometimes, especially as I get older.

Yeah, lower back, you know, can hurt. You got lower back issues. I know what he's saying that? I don't like sitting with it. Like if I go anywhere and someone, people sit and they have a big pillow behind them, I will move it. That's weird. Do you know anybody who does that?

No. I don't. Interesting. I don't think so. Is that what you did? No, I don't. Yeah. I don't.

We'll keep that episode. Big pillow? No, I just, it felt weird that my feet don't touch the floor, so I was like, hey, if I could get a little pillow to help just, if I use this candy corn, it's like, now, look, now I'm up here. But don't you feel you have no... I do. Yeah. I just wish the chair was shorter, but it's a lot easier to put a pillow back here than to chop the front of the chair off. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I'm saying? But props to Tyler, who's willing to go through the embarrassment that is putting a candy corn pellet. It's like wearing a booster. It's like you're sitting in a booster seat of Chili's at your age. It's just, I don't know. At this point, you might have to let the back pillow go. Thanks for joining us. Yeah, dude.

Thank you for having me. Yeah. Absolutely. I candy, a lot better than Garrett. Smells better, too. Yeah. So we met 2022. Yeah.

Dude Perfect show. Yep. You brought your daughter. Brought my daughter and my niece and nephew. And yeah, it was awesome. I've been in two of y'all shows. And it was great. We went to the meet and greet line.

So I got the whole experience. When you're not on the road, you're not doing shows, what is a relaxing day for nature? look like. When you got an off day, what do you want to be doing? During the day, you know, just kind of being at the arena. Like, you know, and we're, there have like, sometimes they bring a golf simulator or we get to play on the basketball courts. So it's usually something like that. Take notes, tour team. They bring you a simulator to set up. Every, like every, you know, mobile simulators are kind of a thing. What are we doing, guys? Yeah, yeah. And they bring it and,

yeah. They bring the basketball court? We sometimes get, well, we get to go play on the NBA courts on some, and then some, we have them just set up a goal and just to mess around a little bit. So if there's like some activity, we're not doing much. Y'all are running around on your show. We're not, I'm not moving. We're almost athletes.

I mean, you are. And so y'all really, you know, and when y'all start your show, that's the thing about your mean, greed, is like, y'all are first. Like, I have a host, I have some guys open. So it's like even, I won't go on stage for a little bit so I can eat, like, you know, relax for a second.

Nate, this code, do they build you a bowling alley? at, uh... Ever? Do they bring those with you on the bus? I've had a puppet course. Wow. This is insane. I've had a puppet course.

Yeah, they've had it. Yeah, they've had everything. I mean, if you just ask, you guys should ask. Yeah. You should start asking more. And I think we need an opening act, too. That sounds nice. Like somebody to just kind of...

Well, you have your DJ. Yeah, but I'm saying an opening act on stage. So you're the first thing is not... What's your summer 26 look like? I was about to ask. What are you doing next summer, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll come out with you guys. This thing would be cool. Maybe you open for us a couple shows. We'll open for you a couple times. Yeah, yeah. I've had to follow y'all.

I mean, just that you've got to walk out and you're like, you got a field goal out there and you're like, I've got to get in my act. All right, I need everybody to ignore the field goal. We don't have time to remove it. I think it could be good. Yeah, yeah. We barely got guys booking us tea times and you're bringing bowling alleys with you. Yeah, I don't think we've had a bowling at, but we've had,

we've had pup putt a few times. A whole pup pump pump. And they brought the dogs. Have you had dogs? We've had the dog thing. We did the dog thing twice, which I thought was like a little much. It was on the same leg, too.

Yeah. Back to back. I'm like, I think we've got our dog fix before the show. Yeah. I adopted a dog. Did you? Yeah.

In Philadelphia, named it Philly. Very, it's wonderful. That's, boy, that's open the door. I think every town's like,

now you really do. You really do. You really do have to let all these dogs out. I know. I know. We got a two. No, we have two dogs. Yes, how did Joe come act about it?

Finally, we have two dogs. Wow. I didn't, I just didn't tell my wife about it. I mean, I kind of did, but it already kind of happened. You know, we already have it happened, and then you go back and be like, I mean, I could get out of it. Yeah. But it's going to be tough. But I'll go, like, so we brought the dog.

I was like, if some reason I get in trouble about it, my sister will take it. Like, I was, there was contingency plans and plans for the dog. I had a lot of stuff. Potential offload locations. Yeah, yeah, that we could do it. What kind of dog is it? It's a Cocker Spaniel. Wow.

Yeah, it's a very, very cute dog. And it's, you know, usually rescue dogs, either pit mix, the German show, they're kind of like that kind of thing. And this dog was like, I joked and said it looked like it was rescued from a mansion. Like, because it just was like the prettiest dog you've ever seen. And so it's like you got kind of lucky, you know, because sometimes you're, you know, Sometimes when you rescue a dog, it's like something you're like, yeah, yeah, you don't even have to ask, is that a rescue? It's like, yeah.

You get clear. That one ain't. It goes, it was breeded a few times by a few things. But this one was, it looked, you know, I had someone, they said they got the Ozzie Doodles, was one where they rescue. I mean, that's the, if you can do that. Because then you get to say you have a rescue, that's a dog that looks like you paid $40,000 for. hypoallergenic too. Yeah, all this stuff.

Everybody's allergic to dogs too now. No one ever was. No. I know cats. Yeah, cats. But now everybody's like, well, we're allergic, so we had to buy this $9,000 dog. Yeah. It talks to you.

That's cool, man. It doesn't shed. Wow. No doodles in our families. They're definitely popular. We have a doodle. You do? That's your other one.

The other one's a doodle. The other one is that. And then you just go, you just don't talk about it, how you got it. Is it like the, what's the breakdown? Is it like first gen or third three A or something? Oh, I don't, no. Did you get the best doodle or did you get like a middle of the road doodle? Three star?

It was a, no, it's a good doodle. I don't know if it was three. It's not, like, you know, it's not doing anything that's like, you won't walk in and be like, look at the frame on that thing. Look at the 40s time on that doodle. You're not going to get jealous of your doodle. No, you know, it's not a brand new muscle. thing. Okay. But you're like, oh, that's cool, man. Okay. You go, I used to, it's one of the, I used to have

one of those. Nice. That's what you say about it. Okay. Well, this is the almost athlete podcast, and I know, we haven't started yet. No, we've started. We've started. This is my segue. This is my, okay. Because you know, as a, as a comedian, you have to have segues into your next jokes. I do. I do. And so. There was, I guess you tried to do it earlier, then I stopped it. Really? Yeah, you said, almost athlete and it really would have worked earlier. and then I think I shut it down. And so now your segue is just having to say, well, here's a segue.

Okay. So I'm going to segue. I'm going to segue to the next one. You almost made it. This is called the Almost Athlete podcast. Okay. And I know that you are golfer. We played golf together.

Yeah. Do you have an almost athlete moment from golf or another sport growing up where maybe you thought, hey, like I think I'm an athlete. here and then you get a little bit further down the road and you're like maybe I'm more of an almost athlete kind of guy. Yeah, I played baseball. I threw a no-hitter. Wow. Yeah, when I was like 10 or 11 have the ball from it. I think it was mostly walks, but still no one hit. You still got heavy walks. You still got heavy walks. The scores were high that day. Okay. I still threw a no-hitter. So it was a no-hitter that you gave up five or so runs. Oh, yeah. It was a big end, but no one was

hitting it. I'll tell you that. So that started off good. And then I remember I played baseball. I have an old joke about this, but a story I tell. But I also got a inside of the park, home run off a walk. And I was 13. And so I go to first base and the catcher is still, I'm just doing this story. So I'd go to the first base, the catch was still holding the ball.

And I thought he was in, so I thought he was like daring me to run. and so I just ran and then he overthrew second base the ball goes in the outfield I run a third base they overthrow third base so then I run home I slide

and there's a play at the play it's like an intense play and then we slide and the umpire tells me it was only ball three so it was yeah it was tough

so I had to get I was dirty and I had to get up and I just got to go get my bat right where I left it and now it's three balls two strikes

next pitch immediately strike out. I'm exhausted over baseball. Wow. So no one told the parents either. It was pretty funny. The parents were cheering. It's a pretty exciting play.

And then no one told them. They just think, I guess they're like, yeah, you can't, you can't do that. You got to do one more swing. So that was my almost, that was, but that was the end of my career. But I remember the year before when I was 12, I got a triple off a walk. That was legit. This is kind of a thing for you. He's going to hit for the cycle off walking.

So in my head, that time when I'm doing that one, I'm like, this is what I do, boys. Yeah, basketball, a lot of basketball. I got cut every year from my high school basketball team and played for my church. It's pretty good at my church. Played on carpet. One of those gyms. That kind of keeps you at bay. You don't, there's no.

Pumbles you. Yeah, there's no stories of someone going from carpet to the hardwood of the NBA. Yeah. Yeah. There's levels to that stuff. I mean, you've got the, you got the multi-sport flooring. Remember that one? Oh, yeah.

Kind of that cushiony flooring. Sure. But then when you make the jump down to carpet, I mean, that's... When you're worried about rug burns, when I'll take in a charge. That's about, I don't know if there's a worst playing surface. Oh, yeah. You just, I mean, you know, there's no wiping your shoes. Yeah.

Everybody's got some grip. Yeah, I got to be a part of an almost athlete moment for somebody else this past. week playing in a golf tournament, charity golf tournament, you know, you're going to get all kinds of interesting people out there at one of those. So we've got people from all different skill levels. The four of the five guys were playing all in a group together. So it was me, the twins and Garrett were playing together. Chad Coleman, our chief brand officer, he's playing in a group in front of us with some random guys. He was the celebrity of that group. We kind of, we had our own little celebrity group. We didn't have to split up.

So we're sitting there talking on, I think it's like whole nine. I think they're on whole 10 up across from us, sitting there talking to Garrett, reading a putt, trying to decide which ball we're going to play. All of a sudden, this missile comes flying in. Oh, hits me right in the jaw, right there. And I didn't go down to the ground, go down to the knees, trying to figure out what just happened, didn't get knocked out, a little shaken up. All of a sudden, Chad comes flying down in the golf cart,

and Garrett's like, oh, if Chad is the one that hit Ty, this is going to be absolutely. He comes down, no forecall, nothing. There was no heads up, just missile straight to the jaw out of nowhere. He's like, did that hit you? I'm like, yes, it mean right here in the face. And he's like, this guy up there who's hitting seven iron blades this ball, goes over it.

To be fair, it was kind of, it was tough to exact. C because it was over this hill, but absolutely hoseled a 7, bladed it, straight, you would never think we were in play in any danger of getting hit. And hits me right in the jaw, go on to the next hole about a foot away from making an ace. It would have been just an unbelievable Jordan Flu game type moment. Yeah. After taking one to the face, make an ace. It rhymes.

It would have been special, but it wasn't. What you need before every swing is to get punched in the face. could get the swing thoughts out. It's a version of smelling salts. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Birdied the next hole after that, solo birdie. Like, I was playing well.

But I think it knocks something loose and me, the next day on set, you were talking about how you wanted your next quest to be like an MMA thing. I'm like, Tyler. I don't know what that golf ball did to you, but let's, you got a strong chin. Well, I didn't know. I've never really been in a fight.

I was always friends with everybody. I didn't have to fight anybody. But I always, you know, you just always kind of want to know. But if I needed, if I needed to get in a fight, You ever been in a fight? No, not really. And like it's, but I've had three concussions. But not from fighting.

Not one of them from sport. I just saw this. Yeah, yeah, none of them from sports. Just living life, baby. Just pure life. Just having at it. People don't realize walking to the fridge late at night. You're vulnerable.

Your Achilles could be in place? Three pretty good concussions. And just, you know. So where do you see yourself on that scale of like, hey, comes down to it, you got to step in. Well, I don't remember those days. I think I was up. I was moving around.

One was at school, and I remember just like kind of, it's enough where finally someone goes, yeah, I think he should go to the hospital. Like you're just, like, in a class and you're just kind of like, you know, you're like living life. I don't know. I would be curious if I could. You know what's funny too is that guy, they probably, right when he hit it, they go, I bet we're fine it. And that's what you typically say

And he goes Well, he did find it Like actually I don't know where the ball went I would have It would have been great if he played it No It was a scramble He goes

He goes I'm sorry about that You mind backing up just a tad Hit this again Could you lay down over there So I can finish Yeah he was It gets up and down for a par And he goes

It was pretty good He wasn't thrilled about his shot Understandably so I think he was a little embarrassed Oh sure I'm not even going over I do think maybe It's like

Maybe I can take punch you know it's hard when they're to know when you don't yell for because you're like the other like there's nothing over there yeah you don't want to embarrass yourself and go yeah we're already embarrassed and you're like you wouldn't even maybe known it was you'd be in being yelled four at correct like you would because sometimes you get you hear four and you're like well think i don't think anybody could hit and it was one of those where if you heard it'd be like surely that's not bam oh but immediately it's really hard to for your own golf ball because you're Pretty much yelling to everybody.

I'm a liability. You know, I'm bad at golf. Yeah. That's tough. How quick you got to yell for, too, when it's a blade? It's a lot to think about in a short amount of time. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Something I realized doing a little research on you. Tyler is a March birthday 24th. I'm a March birthday 26th. No way. You find yourself March 25. March 25th. I've been a birthday sandwich. Oh, wow.

I've been able to piggyback on Tyler's birthday parties. So if you want to. You want to jump in. You can jump in. You do a trio birthday. Yeah, yeah. We do some pretty good celebrations. Yeah.

That's unbelievable. Yeah. 24, 25, 26. You were born in like late 80s, early 90s. You were like, what, the middle Civil War? Yeah, yeah. Silver, yeah, we didn't have to say it. Silver War.

Yeah. You didn't have to say that. I won't have to say that. Yeah, let's get into it. How much do you weigh? You look great, by the way. Yeah, because you need 300 pounds. Yeah, I used to weigh 300 pounds.

I'm a meth. I was born at 79. 79. Yeah. What are you all, 89 or something? 89, I was. 91. Yeah.

91. Did you manage to work my DoorDash joke that I sent you in at all the other day? I didn't get it in. Okay. But I thought about it. I'm pretty deep at this DoorDash joke. Sometimes it's hard to add stuff. But the thing you sent me is, did you tell what it was?

I haven't explained it to them. So I sent Nate a text the other day, and I think we have pretty similar eating habits. It's like we enjoy the finer food. in life, the faster foods. Faster foods. And I sent him a text and I just said, hey, you know, the only thing worse than, you know, having two different dashers show up to the same address to realize, oh, this was for the same guy who couldn't make up his mind is when they drop it off.

And, you know, you're kind of like acting like you don't know that they're about to be there to drop it off because you don't want to be, you know, the puppy at the door, like waiting for your tea bell to show up. And so guy gets to the office and obviously I'm just watching it like a hawk. I know exactly where he is. is. And he gets there and drops it off and you give it like the courtesy 10 seconds for him to like put it down, walk back to the car. And I like sneak in there and grab the thing. He's like, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I got to take a picture. And then now you're in the awkward spot where

you've got to hold up your fast food. And it's like, are you smiling for the photo? Is it more just about the food? But you know you're going to be captured in the image. And so I sent him, because then they send you the picture, as if that wasn't enough. Why do I need the picture of me holding up my fast food to be reminded. Yeah. And so I sent it to Nate and I was like, you got to figure out how to work this. I do. It looked like a proof of life picture.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like a glorified mug shot. You're already coming to orders to get your food. It's so funny. And too, like for the guy not to, like he just doesn't care and you got to just be holding it. I mean, I talked about it.

Like where they've had to go to the wrong house and you got to go find it. Which is tough. That's a tough look. You're just running through your neighborhood. between house. Door to door. Door to door. You see my mashed potatoes?

Just trying to find some bag and having to check it. But yeah. Yeah, that is a good one. I haven't seen that one. I've seen, I got a buddy that, wait, did you say, I don't know you said, but the one where, not my buddy Aaron Weber on my podcast,

he has one and you can, the guy takes a picture of it, and you can see him through the window, the door. Oh, no. Trying to wait on it and see him there yet. Yeah, you can. You can see. That's good.

Because you can tell how quick you get it. I think that's when they can tell when it's like, yeah, they're like, hey, they, you know, have you done it to a hotel? Yo, yeah. Yeah. I've done it every, I've dashed everywhere that it's possible to dash. Hotels are tough. They are. Because, I mean, it's just like.

You don't want somebody to steal it, but again, you don't want to be at the door waiting when they get there. Oh, yeah. And it's just. You know, in the lobby and that can I help you? I know we have room service. You go, I bet you do. But you don't have the service I'm looking for right now. You don't have a mirror hauling 85 on the toilet.

What do you think you're at average a week right now on delivery, food delivery to you? It's, I mean, I don't know if I know. I'm not, I have it on my. I do too. I have my stuff. Yeah. What was your last three? That's good.

That's personal. Yeah, it's personal. Look, I mean, it's dangerous game. If you're too embarrassed to. No, I mean, I'll tell you, it's not good. I mean, it's been a little smoothie king because I get a smoothie Do you get the dude perfect smoothie?

Oh, that's right. Yeah, literally, I've always got it. No, but I have, I did, I've seen that in there, but y'all don't have a, I get a smoothie bowl. Y'all are not in the bowl world. Well, we're not. I mean, we're not. Nate gets a smoothie bowl.

That's where you're at right now. There's basically cake inside of it. It's not, it's a miracle that it's like, I mean, it's got peanut butter. Jets pizza, chicken salad chick. Chicken salad chick's good. Here's a tough one. Yeah.

Dairy Queen. Yeah. But I get medium M&M blizzard and a small Oreo blizzard. Why both? Well, we see what happens. You just think what happens. I don't get both medium. I should just get both small, but I get a medium and a small.

And then, because it's like, I'm not crazy. And then... It's just a little logic. It's a little bit. I do the small Oreo, and I try to eat it before my brain realizes that that's probably enough. And then I dive into that M&M, and then we're already in it. And then I try to go to bed. You're so much fun.

I was a four consecutive day straight, which I'd say is pretty average for me. Chick-fil-A did some sushi to the house, which you ever dashed sushi because that adds up quick. When you're dashing sushi to the house, I don't do sushi. Chili's. You're looking at orders. What a burger? Wingstop.

Cains. Dude, Polio's pizza. Yeah, I had. This is all since October. I hadn't even gotten back to September. So I had a 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 14 day run. I took a day off though.

No, I'm not dead, but October. It was a straight up Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Yeah, it's a good run. What is that when the kids snatch out each other every day? Streaks. Snatch streak. Streaks. We should do DoorDash Streaks.

Oh, yeah. So one day, Thursday was smoothie king, Taco Bell, then McDonald's. All in one day. Next day was just smoothie king. Went healthy that day. Smart. Then, yeah, then Dairy Queen, then back to back Dairy Queen. That was a tough one.

You ever get food, or is it always just Blizzard? I'll get like McDonald's. Yeah, you double-dash. Sonic, I double-dashed. It's a lot of Sonic McDonald's. Smoothie King's been as of late. I mean, yeah, smooth. Yeah, yeah, heavy Sonic.

Three dashes in a day is like a career day. That's like two doubles, five RBIs in the homework. Where you just go, duck donuts was one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a solid one. It's all dairy cream. Yeah, it is a lot of blizzards and ice cream. I'm on a four-day streak with donuts right now, too.

I stop and do those in person. I do too. Like sometimes with McDonald's, like for the food, I want to go get it. Yeah. And then so the desserts, I'll kind of, like, order, which doesn't make sense. It does. It does to me. Hey, guys, Kobe in the back of the room again.

Yeah. Have you guys ever had the same Dasher show up within an hour? Because that's happened to me. You place an order. You order again the same guy. I'm sure it has, but I just trying to. I found out of your house like a vulture. He found that way more embarrassing.

He just, he goes, this guy. He knows the order. He knows. He's like the airport. They know. They know where they are. They know where they are. You know why you're here.

I know why you're here. here, just drop the bag and go. I give the dashers $10 on a tip every time. Is that middle tier or is that the upper tier? No, you've got to type it in. Oh. It's not based on your order size? No, it does.

But I do it as a punishment to myself. Okay. As I go, this is what I deserve. You're going to pay for this. I'm going to pay for this. That every time you've got to go, I shouldn't be doing this. And yeah, you're older, one thing, it's like 60 bucks. And you're like, I'm a mess.

Yeah, Nate, I had I ordered 8 50 pound bags of sand To my house with DoorDash Because I had a sandbox in the back And the guy pulls up in his tiny little Camry And there's sand pouring out of the back of his trunk Because the sand is just leaking out of the bags There's no way you make those bags

To where they don't leak And this guy's just loading them out of his Camry And it's pouring out of his Camry And I left that guy a good tip Yeah, yeah Well, I would I don't think I've ever done anything not food That's a low

that's like the lowest of low. I've only done food. When you're, yeah. I've only done food. Yeah, when you're ordering mulch to your house through doordown. I always do the middle tip because I feel like I want them to be incentivized. Yeah. To choose my, which I don't even know if this is how it works.

This is just how I would imagine. It's like, okay, well, I'm not going to do the low tip guys because I want others better out there. So I give them the middle tip, middle of the road. And then if I do usually a pretty big order, it's bigger than 10 bucks. So like I punish myself too. Yeah, yeah. It's nice to do it when you punish your, yeah. It's like, yeah.

Learning experience. Yeah, yeah. You just, it's your fault. I'm surprised you announced publicly that you're a mid-tip guy. Middle-tipper, yeah. But it is based off performance. Yeah, and I'm saying I'm doing big orders, dude. That doesn't affect them if they're bringing in a little bit more or a little bit less to the, to the car.

They'll have had somewhere they need two trips. Yeah. Middle-tipping should be, he's a reliable guy. Consistent. He's always going to be there. You know what you can get on. Yeah. Where the, you know, smaller or bigger, you're like, well, they might not show up every day, but, like, Tyler's going to show up.

I'll be there. He's going to be there. You can count on it. He's going to play hard. I've had the same. I know I've had the same guy. Like, I'll see his name. I don't know if it's been, like, the same day, but, you know, you're like, I mean, this guy definitely knows what to do at my house.

There's rapport there. He knows. Side door. Yeah. I mean, I talk about my act, but I had a guy ring the door by the other day. You're like, the dogs go crazy. You know, like, just laid on the porch, man. Just laid on the porch.

Okay, it's Halloween I think as two consumers of sugary foods and beverages there are three I mean I'm going to put Sparky there too He's come a long ways He's gotten better over the years I have

But as three consumers We know what quality looks like I thought what better people To rate Halloween candy We're going to do a draft I'm strongly opinionated on this topic So I feel like we're going to be pretty

similar. I agree. I don't know where Nate's going to land on the draft. I just know that I've been in a Starbucks drive-thru and seen them order three cake pops at one time. I didn't. Y'all, it was for you and Ben, Rothersberger, too. Again, this is, you ate them. This is like the doodle. You didn't really ask. You just ordered them and thought, well, if they don't want them, I'll eat them myself. Yeah, but it's, you ate them. I did. I did eat them. I get it. I'll get a coffee and one birthday cake pop. And that's enough. That's enough. That's enough. You get a. Pup cup too, just in case the doodle don't need that. You never know.

You can never have a video. And I get it. And then I was being nice, figured you all of you would want one. And I did. And I graciously ate it and took it. Yeah, yeah. And took it. I'm going to say, this is not, it doesn't have to be snack size.

This is just like the candy in its purest form. When you see this and you picture it in its purest form, this is what it is. Sparky, you can start us off. We'll snake draft. I did my pre-draft homework here. I could give you five, but I'll start with the number one overall pig. Snickers You're not you and you're hungry

That's me Snick snack My favorite Candy bar of choice Ked Future Hall of Famer Easily Snickers off the board

I'll go It's tough It's tough It's tough Now you see why the NFL teams Get 20 minutes Per bit You get one

I'll do Gummy worms Okay Which is like I like the sour ones I'm a big sourpatch kids fan like so I like that too, but like gummy worms are if I have to, if I can eat the most of them.

Yeah, I was going to clarify, could you add a sour to it? So if you want to make them sour gummy worms and you'll feel better about that pick, you can add the sour in front of it. Okay, I'll do, yeah. He's going to add the sour. He's going to add the sour in front of it. Drafting the interior offensive lineman in the first round, you know, the fan base doesn't love it. Yeah. You have to have that to win games. But we'll like it. Yeah, yeah, that's good. What do we do?

That's good, Nate. Give me, and because now I have to because I'm worried that Nate's going to take it on the return here. But give me Sour Patch Kids as my number one. As Patch Kids. Really good. And then this one may, I don't know, I'll be curious to see the response here, but give me Laffy Taffy at number two. Way early. Yeah, that's too.

Yeah, I had a pre-draft interview with Laffy Taffy. There's some bad things. Really? Yeah. I didn't get all the info. You didn't get all the info. Okay. Okay.

I like Laffy Taffy, but it's like, yeah. too. It's not a second round guy. But it's not. And there's, you know, they have like banana too. Well, I don't do those. I only do the green and the pink. That's the problem. It's, it's. Half your inventory is bad. They force, I mean, it's one, they force banana in there. Like, you get Laffy Taffy, and you're like, good night.

Can we get a couple? You're like, it's like banana is the one behind Laffy Taffy, and they're like, what about banana? And you're like, no one likes banana, dude. Yeah. Right. Get it out. It's like throwing the black licorice in. to the jelly beans. If Vafi Taffi got rid of banana,

they would move up to the first round. Okay. The 40 time was a little better. I feel better about that. All right, Nat. I'll go nerds. Yeah, it's a good nerd. Nards are...

I like that. They nerds is adapting. They're really adapting over the years. Because they were just a small thing, not a big, you know, crazy thing, and they just, with the clusters, is like... And the nerd ropes.

Tour favorite. What are you doing? I mean, they're just so good right now. Those are on our tour bus. constantly. Yeah, the clusters. Nerd clusters. I'll put nerds up there with Dr. Pepper, with how good Dr. Pepper's doing right now. Dr. Pepper is just... Tell me and this guy, you're just...

Yeah, Dr. Pepper's on top of it. Nerds are on top of it, and I'm just impressed. And they work hard. My pick? Yeah. Doubling down here? Sparky's up. Okay, yeah. The two best candy bars in the game. Give me Twix. Preferably a right one, but I'll take a left. Doesn't matter. Either the combination of chocolate and caramel. And I'm not like an overly chocolate guy, but I mean, if you're going to leave that

kind of firepower on the board, I'll gladly take it. But you got a picture. This could be a Texas Halloween where it's 80 degrees in your costume. And you're reaching in that bowl and you're grabbing a just melty snickers out of the bottom of this thing. It was pretty strong for the guy who drafted Laffy Taffy in the second. I'm just saying. 90 degrees Lafey Taffy is still fine. Sure, it gets a little bit pliable for my liking. You need some of the wrapper, but it's fine. Yeah, it doesn't come off well at that point. But it's just a little bit. You can't taste most of it. Okay.

Spark, you're back up. Yep. Surely he doesn't go chocolate here again. I almost did because Reese's peanut butter cups probably should be already gone off the board, but I don't want to draft three point guards here. So we're going to go very seasonal

with this one. Candy corn. Ew. You just ruined your whole draft. There was audible. You ruined the whole draft. It sounded like the Jets fans on draft night. Oh, good. Gosh.

That was, what? There's no way that's real. Okay, outsmarted myself. I should have taken Reese's peanut butter cups. Okay. Yeah. You're reaching in a bag. You have all that available and you're going to, you got three candies and you're

going, give me the Snickers, Twix, and then those candy corns? I'll do the one that the pilgrims had. Can we let candy corn go through its first training camp before we just shoot it down? I don't even, I don't think it should have even put on this list. I agree. I agree. I agree. That's like top one worst.

Can we take a quick pause and everyone say they're worse? candy besides candy corn. I've got one. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. Liquorish. I'm going to go almond joy red edition, the non-coconet. I've never had.

I don't even know if I had an almond joy. It's still like, yeah, it's that random hard nut you get. It's tough to play through. Okay. I can tell you one that I don't like, uh, woppers. Interesting. Yeah. Not a woppers guy?

No. Malted milk balls. Yeah. Sour milk inside of a chocolate candy doesn't do it for you. No. I don't get Butterfinger either Because it gets stuck in your teeth No, I just don't like it

I actually had a Butterfinger Sunday Yesterday You didn't like it? I tried it I did not like it It was at a bowling alley See I'm weird in the sense that I will do a Butterfinger Blizzard or something like that But I don't like the actual Butterfinger

I like hint of Butterfinger I can see that yeah I don't I don't ever get I've never been a Butterfinger guy Could have been because I wasn't allowed to watch The Simpsons So you know Oh you weren't Deeper Me neither

It could be a little deeper. Me neither. I wasn't allowed to dress up as certain things for Halloween. Like, I couldn't be too scary. I couldn't be so, yeah. Like I wanted to be, I don't know, one of those, like, cloaked ones. And I had to be like a dark angel. We had to make it biblical somehow.

I couldn't just be a random, like, scary monster. We, yeah, my daughter's trying to be something pretty scary this year. I'm trying to. Trying to talk around. Like, I go, yeah, she's got one picked, and I'm like, let me look at some. I want to, I want to present some other options. Okay. Okay.

Okay. All right, Nate's up. Third round pick. So I agree that if you're going heavy that way with the sour, it's like we should mix it up. You know, one that I love, three musketeers. Okay. Three musketeers, which I think is surprising. But this was my breakfast for many years was Diet Coke and Three Musketeers. Breakfast at champions.

When I first started comedy, I worked at FedEx, and so it'd be early morning. That's what I'd get Diet Coke. Three Musketeers. And you're a big Chewy Nuget guy, I guess. Yeah, I don't think I think about it like that. You don't. But it's... That's what it is.

That's all it is. Yeah, I think of it as a whole... It's three musketeers. Chewy Nuggett. It's gray. It's gray in the middle. It's a weird color. Don't ask questions on what exactly is in there.

You don't stare at it. It's new. I feel like Three Musketeers was the college running back that was really good as a freshman and sophomore, but probably has been run a little too much. It's a lot of mileage on the Three Muscatteers. Three Muscaters. Is a guy.

He's like in the Hall of Fame, but you're like, if you played now, he'd be like, he wouldn't even make the team. But he's a guy that you're like, everybody's got to be like, no, but he was, you know, your dad's like, he was unbelievable. And you go, I bet he was dead, but I don't think he could play in today's era. Today's game is too fast. Three musketeers can't keep up. Number three pick for me. I'm torn between, I'm going chocolate here, and I'm torn between two bars. I feel like one of them kind of falls in the Three Musketeers category.

A hundred grand. I do like that. Baby Ruth is my other one that I'm kind of going back and forth between. Give me Baby Ruth because when I'm hungry, I tend to go Baby Ruth and treat it more like a meal, like I need to be nourished. Yeah. Baby Ruth is a good golf course one.

Yeah. Snickers and other one. But yeah, yeah, 100 grand. I don't know if I've really ever messed with it. Yeah, it's like a crunch bar with a little nugget. Yeah. I think you'd actually really like it. it's really fun. I think I would like it. I, you know, I just don't think I was around them as much.

Sure. I'd been more around the baby roofs. That's like the small school guy who averages 40. It's hard to get a really good read on him, but 100 grand, that's a... It's a solid, like he goes and plays. Yeah. Like, he's a guy from high school that did play. Like, we were at Oklahoma City last night, like retired Collision. Was it his name? He played at Kansas, I think. Oh, Nick Hollison. Nick Hollison. Yeah. Collision. That was the third concussion. That was the collision, not Collison.

That's right. But it was funny to see like they retired his jersey at OKC. And you're like, I think that's like, we're saying like, baby, you're like, I don't know if his, I mean, I don't want to make fun of Nick Collison. I think he was a great player, but you're like, I don't know if he's going to get retired if he was at somewhere else.

Yeah, where we draw the line on jersey. It's the one that they got. But I think he maybe was the first. He was. Yeah, he's like a three musketeers where it's, he was the first to the team. I'm sure he'll hear that. Longevity.

I, yeah, he was a great player. So, yeah, shouldn't have even. Collision. I'm talking about collision, not Collison.

Yeah, that's true. Mine's different. Okay, number, this is my snake draft here. I'm going to go circus peanuts. Whoa. I'm kidding.

I'm not a second of that. I was about to say. No, that is actually my worst. That instead of licorice at circus peanuts. It would be, I don't even know what they, Is that real peanuts from a circus?

No, you know like the gummy, like fluffy. They're muted orange-looking gummy peanut. Yeah, yeah. I don't even know if I've ever had one, but I know that they're gross. I don't know how they're still in the league. Oh, yeah, no, that's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

But if you ever had one? No. Me neither. But I know, but why does everyone know they're so gross? Because it just looks, you know. No one's going to think you want some circus peanuts. I would think we're going to the circus. Yeah, well.

You imagine that's a disappointment. on all levels. Yeah. You're like, first of all, you know, you know, some circus peanuts,

you go, yeah, I go to sell some peanuts at the circus. And they bring you that. And you go, this is, this day is gone.

Oh, look what flavor they are. Banana. Orange. Circus peanuts have a banana flavor. Look at that. Yeah. That's Laffy Taffy 2.0 trying to sneak in

the excess circus peanuts that nobody wanted. I bet Lafey Taffy's behind it. Yeah. I bet that's how they got started. We just got had by Big Taffy. Number four, give me milk duds. Good.

They're going to stick to your teeth, though. But I love duds. I'm not a big milk duds fan. That's why it was my pick. Not yours. That is true. You know, I'm like a sour guy, so I'll go to, I'm going to go airheads.

Hmm. I like airheads. Yeah. It's another one. Pretty laughy-tafy-ish. But better. But a better version. But I'll tell you what Airheads is.

They're moving. Lafie taffy is, this is what we do, and we ain't changing. But airheads... What is airheads doing to reinvent themselves? Sour. They got small ones. They got the white and white one. It's a mystery flavor that you don't know. That's fun. They have... It's big. They have the circle ones now that have the... I mean, airheads is like, they're ducking and dodging. They're trying. Luffy Taffy's just like, you know... Old school baseball and we're sticking to our ways. Yeah, we wear this uniform. We've wore our whole life. mustaches. No facial hair, no mustaches. Spark, back to back picks.

Yeah, this one I'm going to go ahead and lock it in and not think twice about it. Hershey. Hershey bars. I thought you would do Reese's peanut butter cups. Yeah. Because you said earlier, that's what you wanted. And they're still on the board. And the way you said, I'm going to not, you know what,

I'm going to lock it up and I'm not, I'm messed up. I thought you were agreeing that you messed up with Reese's peanut butter cups, and then you just picked a different thing. With my fifth round, I'm going to take Reese's peanut butter cups. That's a good pair. That's a good pick right there. That is a good one.

Really good. To get that value in the fifth round, I feel like I'm cheating. That is true. Candy corn is just tough. It's bad. Yeah. Run this whole draft. Instant regret.

Yeah, so I'll go, uh, man. You taste the rainbow here. Yeah, it's like, you know, it's like, I know. It's like, I'm thinking that, but it's like, I got a lot of sour stuff up there. You know, I'll just go, uh, Starburst. Okay. I love Starburst. I think they're doing good things.

I don't like the many ones. They tried that. Me neither. They tried that. It's different. unwrapped already. And for some reason, it's like... They don't taste the same.

They don't hold the same weight. And I wish Starbursts would come out with some that were unwrapped. I think it's... They do regular ones. And how about you do some of the work? Yeah. You know? And I think that's what many ones do.

But it's, they don't taste as good. So it's like, just give me some regular-sized ones that are already unwrapped. I don't know how you... I'm with you on that. Or go the other direction with it. Think if you could pull out a big red star Starburst and it was like the size of like an ice cream capes. Yeah, like a big cahuna, but it's a Starburst and you could just...

Kind of nod on it throughout the day. Yeah. One of those already unwrapped though. Yeah, yeah. Could you imagine trying to get the wrapper off that thing? It's like a Christmas gift. You just would be... That's part of the phone about Starburst.

It just feels like Christmas movies sometimes. But you're eating a lot of paper too. Yeah. You think you eat more paper on Starburst or Laffy Taffy. Laffy Taffy. I mean, you're not getting it. You'd be stuck to your skin for 15 years. Yeah.

But you can taste it. I don't know and get it out. Yeah. The Starburst just dissolves. It's a white part of it. Life you have he just stays in your body till the end of the run. 25 years to digest. It's like, what is the horse, something, gum?

I don't know. I don't know. Give me sour skittles. I'm going to add the sour in front of it. That's going to be my last pick. That's good. And I feel pretty good about my draft. Comment below.

Those at home? Tell us who won the candy draft. I feel bad that Kikhat got left on the board. Yeah. That is a shocker. How could it taking Reese's peanutberg up to two? Because I do, I don't go to them all the time, but man, when you want one, when you want one, it's nice. Especially a fridged one on a hot day.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Any trades, anybody? I'll give up candy corn for a future door dash. No, I bet you would. Yeah. No, I'm happy. I'm happy with my list. I think my team's fun to watch, and I think yours is.

They play no defense, though. Yeah. You've got the bingles with Joe Flacco. Yes, that's actually a really good call. But look, it worked out. But it's shockingly kind of like that. It's kind of what you needed. You needed just a solid Joe Flacco to come in there.

Who would have thought? That's what was the missing ingredient. Yeah, yeah. Are you a big fantasy football guy? I used to be. It got overwhelming. When I was getting, I remember having, it was the guy for the Steelers,

the runnerback that always held out. Oh, Lady on Bell. Levy on Bell. I remember having him. And I remember like when, because everybody's trying to trade for him. like in real life and I was like getting more, I felt like I was having to deal with it more than he did personally.

And I was like, all right, this is enough. This is enough. It's taking up too much time. Yeah, taking up too much time. When was the last time you dressed up for Halloween? I was rubble with my daughter, like, so she was probably five. Robble is the, that's the construction. Construction Paw Patrol.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I remember we were, we did rubble. And I think that was, I'm a solid like, I'm an assistant coach outfit. You know, it's like this where you just go, you know, I wear something Vandy, like I'm a coach on the sideline. I'm not the head coach.

Yeah. But I belong on the sideline. You do scream coordinator. Yeah. I like that though. Oh yeah, yeah. And I coordinate it where you're like, you know, they're like, do you ever try to head coach?

I like, yeah, we do you. It goes out of the O.C. You don't even remember it. You go, why you try it again? You go, nah, nah, no. I know where I'm at. I feel like you'd be a good visor guy too. I could be a good

Yeah I could wear Yeah I have good That screams visor Yeah yeah I would be visor all day Just doing some nasty stuff Would you know You interview you're like You and the head coach

To get talk a lot You're like I haven't really met him Like that kind of often coordinator Where you're like no I don't know Is he? I think he's a good guy From what I've heard Just doing my thing

Yeah Just doing my thing But he allows that Yeah Spark what was your favorite costume You've ever gone with I was the recycled sports player. I think I was Troy Aikman for 46 years running.

Okay. Yeah. Kind of wore that one out. I did. It was a big hobo. You were? Yeah, it's just like because you could just grab your regular clothes. Don't shower. Yeah. Don't shower. Hobbo is a solid last minute choice. Laundry hamper. Yeah. Is that Mount Juliet days? Or was that post? Old Hickory. No, the old Hickory days, Mount Julia. The same kind of same area. Okay.

It's, yeah, that was very early on. Big hobo. You couldn't afford a costume at a, you know, we never, we never could go out and go buy a costume. I remember just wanting to buy one. And I remember later on getting to, but at the beginning it was all just kind of stuff you had around the house. So it would be very hobo. You stay at home and give out candy at this point in your career? At this point in my career, we do. My daughter, yeah, I mean, it was probably a few years ago.

I mean, I remember it, you know, you just watched her. and my dad goes to watch was like my dad because we love Halloween yep and uh and for yeah even it's funny he's like you know we're big Christians and how we grew up Halloween was one that my dad like I think was like kind of like he loved it too much and so we really loved it uh and so my dad was walking my daughter a few years ago and then uh he gets a couple steps then my daughter just goes papa no and then I just had to watch him turn around, sadly, walk back, where it's like, you know where they get old enough where they go. That's enough. We'd rather just do it.

We got a great neighborhood, and so it's like they can kind of go run around. We're in a cul-de-sac, so what we do is sit at the front of the cul-de-sac, and all the houses come up. And so you're like, just come stop at the cul-de-sac. You don't have to go to each house. Yep. And so we have everybody kind of hangs out, and we just, we're going big candy bars this year, which I'm excited about. Is that new for you? You haven't been a full-sized candy bar house?

It's like I've always been busy. I always ask for Halloween off. I'm always off on Halloween. You know where Halloween's a big deal? Hawaii. Really? I did a comedy festival there once. They flew everybody out there and it was dear Halloween.

And Halloween is such a big deal in Hawaii that they go, it's not even worth trying to do a show that night because no one will come to the show. And so Halloween in Hawaii was just a giant, giant thing. Do we know why that is? I'm just intrigued. I have no idea. Yeah, I don't know.

But, I mean, I'm sure they told us, and I just forgot, but it's, they love it. Don't try to compete with it. Don't do an arena show on Halloween in Hawaii. Yeah. We recently moved, but I've been a kind of a, we turn the lights off the house at Halloween kind of deal. Oh, yeah. Just like, you know, then people, like, know where you live and it's, you know, I didn't want to be out there just passing out candy. And it's like, oh, okay.

Boo. I know, I know. So when we typically. This is consistent with middle tipping. Yeah, middle tip. I'm just thinking of the first. Yeah, this is middle. Well, but I say all this to say, so my next-door neighbor at the time, who's a pretty

high-profile gentleman, I'm like, look, Bethany, we're shutting the place down. I don't want a light on. I don't want, we're shutting gates, closing gates. I'm like, we can't have all these kids out here knowing exactly where we live on Halloween. Like, we're not doing this. I'm just not, you know. I can see that for sure. And so Halloween night comes around.

We're kind of hiding down. You know, go to another neighborhood, get some candy. As I'm leaving, I look out next door and my semi-high profile neighbor, Dak Prescott, is sitting in front of his driveway, passing out full-size candy bars. And I'm like, golly. Hey, hey, that's, hey, good on you. That is.

I'm like, I think maybe if Dad can sit out. there and pass out candy we can probably do that in our house. I'll tell you get the Walter Pagan. All Dax's too and he goes, all Dax's doing, he goes, you know, Tyler lives right there. He's right here. He's right here next to me. He's a line of scrimmage. That's the kind of guy he is.

Yeah, yeah. I'm good for the Sonny Gray, is a pitcher. And he had one, the guy goes to his house, kids go to his house. And he already switched playing for the Yankees, but they were Yankee fans. And so these kids like kind of be mean to them in the ring doorbell thing. Yeah. And they're, because he pitched to the Yankees, and they're like, you're terrible, Sunny and whatever. And then they go five houses down, and Sunny is at that guy's house.

And so then they walk up and Sonny just watched the whole thing on his phone. And he said he just watched them come up to him. And he goes, hey, guys, how's it going? And I mean, they just, like, ghost white. Because they thought, because all Sonny's was dark because he was somewhere else. Yeah. And so they thought they could get away with it. It's a slippery slope.

Yeah. You know, chalk and trash to the trick-or-treater you're about to grab candy from. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's just scary. And Sonny loves it, so he's like, I can't wait until they get. You know, he probably wanted to fire a 90-mile prior to his own at him. Yeah, it was funny. How did you get into comedy?

Because your dad was a magician. So did you just go to shows and then you realized you were funny and you could be like an opening act for him? Or how did that come about? Yeah, he still does it. My dad still comes out with me. We, like we did Mass Square Garden a couple weeks. ago. And so he still does magic. I just grew up around it. And so magic was like, I mean, it's honestly going to be like your kids growing up around this where it's, I don't think they

would probably even realize that it's different. Yeah. Like they're just like, yeah, is your dad not do this and all this? And so I think I thought that I was around it. You know, my dad's very funny. Did comedy and his magic. Still does. And then so I just kind of went to it. And then I didn't want to do, it's a lot of work to do magic. I mean, it's a lot, I would see how much my dad would practice every day all day. And so I think I fell into, I kind of liked stand-up and like the idea of trying to do stand-up. And so then I finally tried it and kind of got started and, yeah, just kept going on. I got a trick for you because I'm pretty much a magician. I actually don't think it's that hard, but I got one. I saw on TV as a kid. Maybe, maybe I can open up for

your dad at some point. Yeah, yeah. So got my car. here. Okay. You can take the top two. Okay. You can show Spark if you want. You can look at them. I want you to put them in two separate hands.

Okay. And then mix them up so you don't even know which one is which. Okay? And put one of them in the deck wherever you want. Okay. How do you feel about that? I feel good. Okay.

And we're going to do this, so I don't even know. Yeah. I don't even know. No. Okay. Now we're going to do this one. Yeah. Okay.

Put it wherever you want. Okay. right there. Okay, now just watch. I'm going to take this and I'm going to grab both of those cards. Okay, but first I'm just going to flip this around right here. Okay, and I'm going to do this. Hey!

Whoa! That was good, were they not the... Right, it's fine. Yeah. Hey, all right. Well, thanks for joining us, Nate. That was great. It was the numbers were right, but I think the colors were different. I think you're right. Right? But the numbers were right. Were they?

Yeah, that could be... Yeah, but that's where... So what you do then is you go, and I change the color. And then you're like, wow. Well, if you were impressed by that, I actually switched both of the cards. It was in the nine of spades and the six of hearts.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, but why don't you put that in part of your act? Maybe I should have. Yeah, you should, because it looks like it doesn't work. Like, it kind of works. Like, when the kid walks out and goes, how was he? He goes, I mean, he was like... I don't think he's all the way there yet,

but he was decent. I saw it on TV. If it's a trick that they're given away on TV, you know, it's probably not. I'm just saying your performance should be like, and I change the color. And I change the colors. I'll add that next time.

Yeah, it's pretty funny that you don't acknowledge. Like, and then the person's like kind of like. You just see them driving home and they're like, you're like crazy? Does that, do you feel like Tony Romo? Him and his wife getting a fight about it? I swear to you, I said they were different colors.

Yeah, that was. It's not my best. Do you feel like Romo commentating the game in that situation? Like, you know, what's coming? Is I'll toss right, you know, based on formation? I mean, I know, like, you know, I couldn't do any of the tricks. I know a lot of them were done, but it's, uh... Yeah, I mean, but it is a very solid trick.

Thank you. I'd like to see you incorporate one magic trick into the show tonight. Tonight? Yeah, short notice. I'm going to see them, and I think it'd be fun to see you just do one little trick. I need a ride tonight, by the way. You do? One of y'all can take me.

I would love it. Yeah, I need a ride tonight. You can come with me. You've got to come early. Let me ask you this. As I grew up in a smaller high school, 90 or so students, worked my whole youth to be class clown of our class. Yeah. Do you ever feel the pressure to try to be funny, or is it just you being you?

I mean, I think it's now it's just me being me. But it's, yeah, usually a lot of, like I was second place in class clown. Didn't get it. I wouldn't know how that feels. I stopped. Yeah, you were one. One. How big was your class, though?

56. Oh, wow. Yeah, I graduated 56. So you're not going to Ivy League of comedy there? No, no, no, no. A lot of comedians that do stand-up are usually if you see them, you're going to be like, you're like, well, there's no way he's funny. Because it's like, I think you're just kind of thinking a lot,

and so you're putting your acts. So, I mean, yeah, a lot of people when I meet, even when I first started, they were, I was like, I'm doing stand-up comedy, and it's always like, there's no way he's going to be good. When I did SNL for the first time, Food Fighters is on And so I'm in the host

The host dressing rooms here And the music one's here So the doors are right across from each other And so Dave Grohl comes in my room And meets me and I'm like, hey man And he's like, what's up? And he's like the most energy And he's like, what's up, man?

I'm like, oh yeah I guess great man, it's cool He goes, all right, you excited? I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, very excited, man And he goes, all right And then I was it And then we didn't really talk until afterwards And afterwards, he goes, I'll be honest you.

When I first met you, I went back to my room and I told him, I go, this is going to be the worst show ever. He goes, this is not funny. Yeah, he goes, this is not good. Then he goes, then afterwards, now you're my favorite comedian. So he was very nice. But it was like that kind of, yeah, it's like that kind of vibe where you're like, you don't think it's going to be good. But, you know, it's like, and it's not. Smart to play the Set the Bar Low game.

I've always been a set the bar low. Like, don't come in. Kind of like a middle tipper. Yeah. Yeah. You mentioned favorite comedians. Mine personally, Norm MacDonald. I think he's the funniest guy to have ever lived.

R.I.P. Who's your favorite comedian? Yeah, yeah. Norm is, I'm a big, big Seinfeld fan. But he was like, you know, Brian Regan would see, was a guy. He was the first comic. I remember seeing him live at comedy clubs. And I remember my dad gave me a CD, and he was like the first.

Like, I was like, I couldn't believe. I was like, this guy should be the most famous person on the planet. His first CD, all of his stuff is unbelievable. But, like, it was just hearing his CD, I remember my dad tell me he had to call, he was called. He said he had to pull over because he was laughing so hard. And so, like, I always took that as, like, a bar in my head of what you're trying to do. You're trying to make people laugh so hard that they have to,

if they're listening in their car, they got to pull over. But Brian Regan was the first, like, that it was like, I mean, I was just like, my mind. opened up that there was so many more comedians than I could have imagined. I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up Vandy football, obviously having a golden era here right now with the Commodore's favorites against LSU. Yeah. How do you think the season's going to end for Vandy? I'm a huge Diego Pavia fan.

Yeah. Huge. I am as well. Very similar. Yeah. Yeah, Giant. I mean, it's awesome. I think we got our coach, Clark Lee's great.

You know, he played at Vandy, so I think he understands it. And, yeah, Diego is electric and exciting. And I've got to know him. And he's wonderful. We've just got a solid team. And I think, you know, it's very, very exciting. I think a lot of stuff in Vandy Sports is switching. Basketball, we've got a great coach there.

We've got a top recruiting class for 2026. We might be third in the country. So it's a lot of things that are changing over at Vandy, so it's very nice, and it's fun to watch. And, yeah, I mean, it's something we didn't go through. I remember growing up watching Vandy, it was just some, you know, rough times. I remember one game we got back-to-back delay game penalties,

trying to go for two, and we ended up having to kick the extra point, got blocked, and we lost LSU, actually. Never seen anything like it, back-to-back delay. And then this was back when you had to wait for the newspaper to hear what happened, and they go, were you going to change the plays? And they go, no, no, we were in the same play. You're like, what were you talking about for?

It's like two, three minutes. We thought, like, he was going to be like, we had a whole different play and we didn't get out of time. He goes, no, no, we're going to do the same thing. We had a slogan at one point. It was, have fun, expect to win. It's not even a good slogan. It's like, it's basically, yeah, you're a cheer for your team

that's like, just have a good time out there, boys. Everybody have fun? Good, good, that's all it matters. Do you want to win? Yeah, sure. We expected it. It'd be great, but we're not, we don't have to. Well, it's cool to see more than GPAs being talked about in regards to Vanity. You had a cup of tea at Western Kentucky, too, correct?

I did. I went for one semester. No credits. How does that work? You know, Western Kentucky is all on a hill. The hilltop. So the hilltop. So I didn't really think about it, but my room was on the bottom. And all the classes were you had to walk up a hill. And that was enough. That was enough of that. That was enough to put a stop in that. And my parents, yeah, they were, you know,

went to this college there when I was there, Nappy Roots. Yeah. They're a rap group. Yeah. And they, yeah, we played, I played some intramural football there. But, yeah, it got no credits. Nate, you have a podcast, too. Tell us a little bit about that.

I have a podcast, Dayland Podcast. I've not been on it a lot lately because I've been gone, but we have Brian Baiteran, Werber, Dusty Slay, very, very funny guys. A lot of, we have some specials on YouTube that we've put out and that are very funny. And so, yeah, we're trying to build that kind of world.

Go check that stuff out. And yeah. How long is this tour going that you're on now? This will go until August. Okay. So we're in it right now. So we got that, I got a movie coming out, March 13th,

the breadwinner. Before our birthdays. Right before birthdays. Maybe that's how we kick off our trees. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We can add that in, so we do four. Yeah. We had four things.

Wow. Nate, I got to say a recent Nate Land clip where you guys were talking about the dad that got the yips and pitching to the little kids. I was in, I was in stitches. Dude, it's so. I haven't seen this one. This guy wrote in, because we take comments, and so this guy wrote in a comment and said, he was doing coach pitch, and he got the yps and he started.

And he was like hitting the kids. That's the worst spot to be. It's such pegged it. It's tough. It's like he's throwing it behind them. And like, you know, we're just picturing like, oh, man, with the other parents, like a mom's got to come out and be like, I think I've got to pull you from that. Can we go to the ballpins?

When you get the yips, you don't go from bad to better. It goes bad worse. A nightmare. Because you go like, well, what was that one? And then you just keep going. And it's, it was just so, so funny to picture just to, just to, I. I mean, it's a scene I want to put in a movie at some point. Just a dad that just can't get it together.

And they have to call. They have to get a mountain visit for the dad. It's like the opposite of the rookie, the high school coach who makes it to the bigs. Yeah, yeah. The high school coach, you just literally can't find the plate. I mean, they're trying to get these kids. They're five. They're trying to make them play baseball for the rest of their life.

And they're already getting hit. They're doing the opposite. Throwing behind Timmy's head. I mean, I had the Yips once playing softball, like some church softball, and I could not throw it to first base. Oh, wow. You've experienced it. I've experienced it. And I would launch it.

And it was like, you know, it's this dugouts where the top is open. Yep. And so, I mean, it would just go, boom, hit the fence and fall inside their dugout. I couldn't even, it was like, I would almost like, if I got it, would better be better me even as shortstop just to run. Like, or like, you toss it to the pitcher and let him throw it. It was just in my head, and I mean, I was, it was not even on this planet. Like the guy wouldn't even really try to go reach for it. He just turns around.

Once he sees it come out of my hand, he just turns, and I got to go run and get it. Oh, it was brutal. And that's why you're welcomed around here, because that's pretty almost athlete. It is almost athlete. That's true. You and Chuck Knoblock. Yeah. It happens.

It happens to the great ones. Well, it has been an honor and a privilege. Yes, it has. Absolutely. Having you here, also just getting to know you the past couple years, I know. Yes, same here. We hear it all the time of, you know, parents coming up to us, just, you know, saying thanks for creating content that we can watch as a family. And I think being able to sit down with my three boys who are running around out there, which is probably the background noise that you're hearing right now in the podcast, and being able to watch your special and your show and everything that you do,

I think gives me even more of an appreciation for the content that we make, kind of in a weird way. You know, it's the, and the same thing back to you. It's, it is a way for me, because my daughter, we, they watch you all the time. And so it is, it's a nice perspective for me to see because it is, sometimes you don't see it on your side. Yeah. But I can truly see it that I know when you guys are on, it's like I'm not, I don't have to worry about anything. And it is, it's very, very nice. Because sometimes you do want them just to go watch.

100% their app. You know, you're. Sometimes they shouldn't be, then a lot of times you're like, please watch this. And so the fact that we can rely on you guys, it truly, congrats to, you know, everything that you guys have done. And yeah, thank you. It's been great to know you too for these past few years. Appreciate it. Nate Bargatchi, everybody.

Thank you. Thank you. The rest of the tour, good luck, brother. And appreciate the ride. Thanks in advance for giving me a ride. Absolutely. It means a lot. Well, our all sports golf battle with the dudes and wives launched this weekend.

That was fun. That was fun. We have the honor and the privilege of interviewing the winning team. Wow. Welcome, Bethany and Ty. Thanks. Yeah. How's you feel?

Oh, you brought your trophy. I did bring it. Thanks. Wow. It was next to the bed, but I'm letting you borrow it today. Did you put it in a car seat like you would with? I did. I strapped it in.

Rettman. That's a beautiful trophy. That is. We still living on the high from the wind? Yeah. How long do you celebrate a battle win like that? We got two more days to celebrate. Okay.

Why just two? Because we've been celebrating every day. And then we got two more days. Some move on to the next one. Oh, like this week, I got you. Yeah. Well, I did see some photos of you guys celebrating. I thought that was your anniversary, but that was all sports golf.

Yeah. No, the anniversary took a back seat. That was our celebration dinner. Okay, that makes sense. For the all sports whim. Y'all, y'all did handily win that. I mean, Corey did maybe flub a little lacrosse. But you expect that out of a Corey.

fill across. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When it comes to the cottons, you just kind of let them make the mistake. Yeah. Yeah.

That was really good strategy. It was. It was nerve-wracking. Yeah. How nervous were you? Very nervous because y'all ranked me bottom. Yeah. So you should actually...

The most athletic wife. It's actually a great time, Bethany, to thank us because obviously it incentivized you. Yeah, it lit a fire. And you brought your A game. Exactly. So you're welcome, Beth. But also equally as nerve-racking because I didn't want to let him down because I feel Like he wins all the time.

Wow. Yeah, you said that on camera. And to lose to Corey and Amy would have stung. Oh. You know, it really, it would have stuck. Shire. With all due. Something particular.

Is that more Corey or Amy? Yes. We have a lot of footage we couldn't have shown. I mean, the amount of trash talk that happened during, during. It was healthy. Healthy amounts of trash talk. I mean, nothing I wouldn't say to their face or on a podcast, you know. Yeah.

Just it would have stung harder if I would have particularly lost. to Cori and Amy. I mean, that's a fair statement. You know, it is. Yeah. 14 years together, huh? 14 years. 14? Uh, yes. I'm not trying to get you in trouble, by the way, Ty. You answer. There's no right or wrong. Yeah. It feels like 14. Sometimes. Because I feel like, yeah. That could be, that could be a good thing, though. Like 14's young. I mean, we met in high school. That's true. So we've, it's been a long time. But you didn't fall in love in high school. No. No. And. She did, I did warn her that, you know, we're following up the Tom Brady episode.

Yeah. First female guest we've had on the podcast. Yeah. Wow. It's an honor. And I was like, also we've got Nate on the episode. And she said, well, good news. I'm the perfect combination of athletic and funny.

I mean, to bridge the gap. I never said that. That's what you said. No, I think I made a joke that like this will be very similar to the Serena Williams interview that y'all did. Why? Because I'm athletic. Yeah. Right?

Yes. Whoa. Athletic. I'm joking. Bethany, we do ask every guest on the show. Yeah. If you have an almost athlete moment. She does.

I do. And if you could just kind of describe that to the viewers and listeners. So in eighth grade, I tried out for the basketball team. I get there. Well, it was a two-day tryout, which feels excessive for eighth grade. You know, like a two-day trial. I feel like you give me four minutes. I could tell you who's on my team.

I ended up making the B team, which I had no business being on. Was there a C team? I should have been on that if there was. I don't think, I think we were really small school, so there was no C team. But halfway through the season, my coach realized I had not made a single basket the entire season. So. Is that Coach Licti? No, it was Coach Hall.

Coach Hall. Yeah. Great man. So he pulls all of us together before a game, all the girls. You're like, how far into the season are we at this point? We're halfway through. Halfway through or maybe even more. Okay.

Halfway through. He pulls all the girls together before the game and he's like, hey, so Bethany's not made a basket all, all season. So what we're going to do is whenever I yell BB, because my name was Bethany Briscoe, whenever I yell, BB, everyone's going to stop what they're doing on the court and we're going to throw her the ball and we're going to give her the opportunity to make a basket, which is an eighth grade. grade, the most humiliating thing you can do to a girl, or anyone in general. So here we go. The game starts,

and I hear BBB yelled. And the other, you have to, like, the other team was so confused. Well, they probably think they're on an ice show. They're like, hey, get it to our number one player. I don't know. Yeah. It's about to go down. I still remember their faces and what they looked like. The other team when they yelled BB because the other, everyone else just stopped. And then they looked for me, threw me the ball, and I think I airballed it. And it, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, happened. I never once made a basket. So, man. Yeah. The whole season. How many times do you think he ran BB?

Oh, every game after that. Should we like wheel in a basketball hoop real quick? No. I let you make one. Well, no. I mean, I can make a basketball hoop shot. I've actually, I've never seen you make a basketball shot. No, I can do it. This sounds like you have many. I don't think I have. Our whole marriage, our whole lives. I don't think I've ever seen. I can do it. Well, let's walk through the victory real quick. What was what was the most challenging? aspect, like the most challenging piece of equipment you had to use.

Well, I will say, what was that? What did you call it? Foxdale. Yeah, I was like really unsure about that one because who plays with that? Yeah, lack of experience. Yeah, like, you know, because it's so much experience. Kids don't play with it anymore. They just, they just do it digitally.

Yeah. That's the problem. Can't even Foxtail these days. No. Brutal. I would say putting with the hockey stick. I don't think it translates on TV or on the screen the curve of the hockey stick. So people probably assume.

oh, if that's so either just like putting it in. But in reality, there is a curve and you can really jack it up. You can. You know? It didn't translate onto the screen. Would you say now that you filmed like a full video, you did Wise versus Chad.

Yeah, that was so fun. I don't have any other things besides that? Stereotypes. Stereotypes, yeah. But I haven't done like a full day. Yeah. Would you say that what we do would be considered a job?

Hmm. I put a little respect on it, didn't it? I'm just curious. Yeah. I will say I was shocked with how much goes on behind the scenes. A lot of moving parts. So, like you show up and there's like 15 people running around doing all these.

Like there's so many screens and microphones and go pros and people. Like you have to, there's a cameraman for almost every person, especially in that setting because you're so spread out. And I don't think I was way spread out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Really, really spread. Well, I tried to sabotage what, whose ball did I kick? That was Corey and Amy's. You kicked it right off the hit. I wasn't, there was no malicious intent with that. I was just.

Felt malicious. It did. From afar. Yeah. From my golf cart, felt pretty malicious. I don't know why I felt so confident in like my kicking ability to just kick it right back to him. That was another almost athlete moment.

Yeah. You've had a lot of almost athlete moments. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is your back sore at all from carrying 175 pounds of Tyler? Because you were awesome.

You really like when I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. Yeah. I just, I stopped for donuts. Every story. Ty just fluctuates, man. Would you defend your title? Yeah, I do it again.

Why not? I love that. Would you do it live on tour? Live? Oh, like put me in a bungee thing. No, well, just compete on tour in front of 10,000 people. You would? I don't want to throw a basketball.

Well, you never know what you're going to get. Basketball. No, I think it'd be fun. Listen, I'm always down. Okay. We can get you the T-Swift intro, too, that you've been asking for like three years now. I can't learn coming in. But do I really?

I don't know. I don't know if I want to meet her. You're not going to meet. Oh, I'm not going to meet. Oh, I thought you were team. No, we weren't. That would be cool. She left Tyler's DM on red. She left me on red. You deigned her? Oh, yeah. In Seattle. He did. Well, she always gets credit for the earthquake. For the earthquake. For the earthquake in Seattle. And what nobody talks about is there was a dude perfect show literally half a mile down the road that night. And we contributed at the same time. Yeah, I don't know. We five percent contributed. Yeah. And so I told her, I was like, hey, you know, you want to pull a prank and be funny. Like, we show up at your venue. You show up at your venue. You show up. up at ours, just like quick prank our fans. Or if not, like, we can just hang out before

the show. Like, you come along on our bus. We'll go to yours. She didn't answer. Well, she was probably busy. I don't know. I don't know what she does before the show. She's cats. She's cats. Yeah. You've known us for a long time. Yeah. I mean, I've known you since, like, fifth grade. It's crazy. Ty, and then obviously the other guys, who would you say have changed the most in Dude Perfect since having kids, or just just changed the most? Did kids change us or maybe the fame. I don't know. Wow. Which dude? Which dude? You stay quiet on this. I have an opinion. Which dude? Yeah, which dude. Which dude? I haven't known Corey as long as everybody, but I would, I would probably say Corey. Wow. You are just, I know, I know. I know. I, I do.

Wow. You must hate them. There must be some pure hatred in the group. They're going to listen to this and be like, wow, we had no idea. I don't know. I think Corey's style has changed. changed. Him and Kobe have elevated their style. They had a glow up. They had a glow up. We've all had a glow up, to be fair. Yeah.

Well, I know. I mean, we can show a picture when we first started. You don't call this a glow up. We got problem. Or we don't have a problem because I can go back to donuts seven days a week now. You know what? We'll be fine. That's fair.

You used to wear like strangely large shorts. They were like. Everyone did. Everyone did. That was in. But you were extra large, though. Yours like hit your shin. And as a kid with no car, you wear whatever mom gets you.

But this was in college. Oh, well. Yeah. That one may have been on me. Yeah, probably Corey and Kobe. I would say like Corey in the beginning, like he would kind of get like heated during some videotapings. But now he's like chill. I think marriage and kids have chilled him out a little bit.

Cody might disagree. Am I wrong? Cody would disagree? Yeah. Oh, I was, you know I witnessed that. You were. Oh, yeah. I was front row seat for that. We had to talk about it on the pod. I know. Wait, witnessed what? I witnessed the fight. Their fight on the B-ball court. I thought, I thought they were filming for stereotypes when I first heard it. And then I like slid out because it felt really intimate and awkward.

It was pure unadulterated competition. To be fair, I'm not competitive. But I feel like you did go there kind of that day. Like you did want to win. I did. For you, dude. But it was the, it was the comment on the podcast. I do not. get offended but when I was listening in my car and I heard that I was the bottom of the barrel. I didn't say that did I? Yes. No I think it was Cody. Oh, maybe. Yeah. I think it was Cody. I think it was Aubrey and then I kind of bowed out. I was like well I don't know. Actually we should we should pull up the clip because I don't know. I don't know what I said in that may have been you you might have said bottom of the barrel. It could have been me. I think me and

Allison, to be fair, we're like equal at the bottom. If we were to rank the five dudes, wives, and athletic ability, I'm going to go in the 1A spot is Aubrey. She had a bunch of brothers ran track to gym. Allison and Bethany and Amy have zero competitiveness. I think it was like

five floors and then. Yeah. But did Allison play? She was a cheerleader. No. She played volleyball? No. No. She did nothing. No. Would you say Ty's competitive in his everyday life? Like, you know, cooking, cleaning. Cleaning? He doesn't. He doesn't.

It doesn't clean. No. No. My closet stays pretty clean. Your closet? You only care about your closet? What about your house? But see, the closet is what I can control. That's my issue. That's your space. What do you mean? If I clean the living room in the kitchen, there are three little boys that will destroy that room in a matter of five minutes. I will say something that... Not those, not those three. Not Colton James.

That's the old like, mom, why do I have to make my bed if we have no guest? over today. Oh, listen, I agree with that. Where we could improve is like as I walk around. This is great. As I walk around the house, sorry, I keep bumping that. I pick up as I go, right? Like you just see things on the ground.

You pick up. A child, the shoes, whatever. It's like as you are walking throughout your home, you just pick up as you go. Yeah. It's a learned art. You don't do that. So sometimes.

Do I? I have to be like, hey, you're going to get home before. me, can you just like clean up the living room really quick? And I will, let me compliment you. Let me compliment you. You are fantastic at the quick clean. Thank you. It isn't, that is truly a magical power that you have. Tossing things under the couch. I don't know how he does it. This is a good one. Are we going to get into this voicemail? Yeah, you want to? Yeah, I do want to get into this voicemail. A voicemail? Yeah, so, uh, I don't know, Ty, why don't you hit him with the jingle right quick. Oh, yeah. And I, I actually owe your brother an apology.

We already talked about it. It's fine. You did. Yeah, it's fine. You already discussed it. We discussed it. It makes so much sense. It makes so much sense why he picked it. And I couldn't even see it. It does? The phone number? Why? That's where I was going. I was, I was chastising him. I was like, what a horrible number. Then I talked to him, and he explained it to me. Wait, what was his explanation? He says he picked the phone number because if you think about it, it sounds like our almost athletes, jingle. Jingle. 805. 886. Don't forget the 972. Don't forget the 972. I was like, that actually...

Did Chase write it? No, he picked the number. And I was giving him a hard time because I was like, what a terrible... I was like, how do we not work dude or something in there? And so I called him out, and then he left me a voice memo

and explained the whole thing. And I was like, that actually is really smart. Feel free to call in. Anytime you want Bethany, leave us a voice out. Do you remember what the number is? 8, 6, 6. No. That's Dowworth clean.

Yeah. Yeah. I also lost my voice, so I can't really sing to my full potential. It doesn't matter about the number. But we got a voicemail. Are we going to play it or just? Yeah. Let's play it.

Let's play it. What is up, you guys? I love your new platform. This is Sean Alford. And I just want to say I love the new podcast. It is amazing platform. And I've been enjoying immensely. Longtime fan.

but I gotta know since you all have families now if the do perfect families went head to head in an all-out sports battle which family takes it to the top spot knowing how competitive you guys are it would be kind of fun to see how you guys would rank

each other's families phenomenal I already have an answer like playing with our kids yeah phenomenal question here and there's I have an answer you want to say it I have for sure podium in this one

Yeah, I was going to say your family number one. The age just helps us. But it would be us. It would be, if it was soccer, y'all are like. It'd be these two families sitting on the couch. Really. Jones crew is not in that? No.

You don't think we'll say this about the Jones crew. We don't know because their boys are so little. They're so little. And their girls are like so sweet. They don't know. So sweet. I'm not sure they have that killer instinct. I think they have more Allison in them than Cody.

For sure. Which is a good thing. great thing, which is a great thing. Yeah, unless you're trying to do a family squad game showdown. Yeah. I don't know, though. Allison doesn't like to sweat. Yeah, she also doesn't know if she's left or right.

Yeah, that's right. Forhanding. Left right hand. That's crazy. Yeah. That was a funny moment when she was like trying to figure out if she was like, do I, do I do this with my? I was like, wait, how do you not know that?

To see her sports thoughts play out in real time. In real time. I think the finale is the Gilbert versus Tony's. That's my final answer. Yeah. I would agree with that. It depends on. what sports it comes

Yeah, it does. It does. The one worry about the Tony crew is how much are we staying on task? Yeah. And then the team chemistry. Yeah. And then if you start playing music, Colton's going to start dancing and he'll be out of it.

He'll be done. He'll be doing his dances. Yeah, focus would be an issue for the Tony family. No doubt. Last thing before we let you go, Halloween's coming up. Yeah. We're just going to rip through some of these things. Tony family traditions on Halloween.

Do we got any? I mean, we go trick-or-treating Um, dress up as like, I love a good wig. With like big crazy. We have, well, pumpkins and stuff. Um, I do have skeleton chickens on our front porch because. Like, like real chickens.

No, because you know, we had to get rid of them. So it's kind of like my, I don't even know what you want to call it. I just wanted my neighbors to like. It's a jab at the neighbors. Yeah, like just be reminded like that I love chickens and. And they killed them. Essentially.

That made me move them. So they're just, I was going to buy these big inflatable ones to get in the front yard, but that felt extreme. So I just had these metal skeleton chickens. And then we'd have to have big inflatable chickens in our front yard. Which would have looked great. Explain to the viewers who might not know why you maybe wanted to put chickens in your yard. Right. The chicken saga of 2025.

I'm still salty about it. We moved to Salina this past summer. Very exciting. we're on land. So I assumed being on five and a half plus acres in the country that I would be able to successfully have my chickens in my backyard. Okay. I have six, well, I had eight chickens. And I had a coop. It was a nice coop. Very nice coop. Yeah. Some of these coups. I put a lot of work into the coop. Yeah. It took three days to build the coop. You don't really have to. So we set the coop up. I specifically found a spot for these chickens that were under a tree because they need shade. It gets

hot in the summer. Whatever. Well, I wasn't thinking that my neighbors would be able to see this beautiful coop from their backyard. Really a privilege to look at it. I mean, truly. An honor that they even get to see it. And they're also on two and a half acres. So it's not like we're on top of each other. But they could see it, whatever. So I get so excited that we're in this small little neighborhood. I go to the HOA meeting because I was like, I'm going to be involved. I'm going to, I've never done this before, but here I go. You were out of town. So I was like, I got a sitter, went to the HOA meeting, don't know a soul, sit down. And we're introducing ourselves. And my neighbor looks at me in front of everyone and is like,

so did you, did you get the HOA bylaws by any chance in front of everybody? I turned beat red because no, I haven't read the H-way bylaws. And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, I think we got him. And he goes, I don't think you did because you got yourself a chicken house in your backyard. You're not supposed to. I die a thousand deaths. I'm so embarrassed. Your husband's not doing?

Also, like, kind of mad that he handled it that way and, like, didn't come to us specifically. Oh, it was a rhetorical question. A chicken house. They knew what they were doing. You don't, you don't, you obviously don't know what you're talking about. The chicken house. Yeah. Come on.

So, anyways, I kind of brushed it off. Obviously not. Well, stuck with you. Yeah. Well, I was just like, like,

I'm just going to ignore it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll go away. And it didn't go away. So the H-O.A president contacted us. Um,

basically said, got a letter in the mail. Yeah, we got an official letter. I got served papers. Mm. Like served papers like it was, like we're going to go to court over it.

It was crazy. My neighbor was like, really the chickens don't bother me. It's just I can like, hear them in the mornings. I'm like, what else? nature-wise, don't you like to hear in the mornings?

Like, we live in the country. I can hear the rooster that lives a mile away. Like, come on. We don't have a rooster. We don't have a rooster. It was just hands. That's important, too, because, yeah, those are allowed. Anyways, long story short, we had to move the chickens to the ranch.

Now Luke's in charge of my chickens. And they're not laying any eggs. No, they're like protesting. They're mad that they got moved. I'm still salty, so I was like, well, I'm just going to get these blow-up skeleton chickens. I would get the chickens. You know what I mean?

I'd get the blow up chickens. I think at this point. That's a safe call? It's a tone setter. It is. Yeah. That was my favorite costume. Yeah, that's, what?

Growing up, my favorite costume. Was a chicken? I was a chicken. I was like two years old. Really? Yeah. I sent Jared a picture. Jared.

Do you have that picture? It's really cool. Like how old are you? Oh, I'm like two. This is the old. This wasn't like I couldn't dress myself. I bet that was cute. Oh, yeah.

It's higher. What's your favorite you've ever dressed up as? Bethany always goes weird. I do go weird. Like really? Like you have to always explain. Yeah. What kind of weird?

Like what were we last year? Um, oh, I was a barn cat. A traumatized barn cat. It has to be traumatized. Yeah. Because it had like scratches all over my face. Seems oddly specific. It was.

Because we got barn cats last year. Okay, I get it. I typically dress up as like this character called the Purple Hoser. Yeah. Yeah, pretty cool guy. I've heard them. Are you like, we go trick-or-treating. We do, uh, we do have a candy tax, though.

Oh. How does that work? I just, here's the deal. We don't like, if they have a 14-pound bag of candy, that thing will last till December. Yeah. And it's just, I don't, I can't deal with the rappers and the eating candy at 6 a.m. Right. So it's basically like, here, pick like, I don't know.

Your favorites. A hundred pieces. Whoa. It's probably less than that. Kristen's probably going to get mad at me for saying 100. Like 30. Everything after that, we're taken away. What do you do with it?

Well, I eat it. Gary is it. So like it's still getting consumed. It's a good father. For sure. I mean, you can't throw it away. These people spend good money on this. It's proper parenting.

That's taking leadership of the household. What are you going as this year a sport? That's a good question. You still trick or treat? I don't trick or treat. I just kind of. Do you hand out candy? No.

Not that because I don't want to. It's just that they're, apartment life, you know. Right. That's hard. But if somebody knocks on my door, but like you come to work dressed up or like a lunchable, I'll find something. I've got like a body armor. I'm going to a flash IV. Let me see what I got in here. Maybe I should be ready this year. Whoa. See how scary that is? Why did you do that? It wasn't me. What was that for? That's called our two minute warning. That's when we go on a little rant. Why? That is, that's like, traumatizing. Yeah. Now you're a traumatized.

I think you should do the full two minutes, Bethany, on a on why that's traumatizing. Do you do that every time? Yeah. Every time and it catches me off guard every single time. Why can't you just like wave your hands? We've asked that question too. He is determined to blow that whistle. Yeah. All right. I'm just going to follow up on what Bethany has to say about H-O-A's. Couldn't help yourself. I think I agree with her. I think they're kind of ridiculous. I mean, we have a document. We're already having so many documents we have to worry about these days.

You bought the house. I mean, it's not like I get some laws like, you know. Like mowing your lawn. Yeah, mowing your lawn. But if we want to get specific about that, the people probably don't even mow their lawn right. And we can go hard on them. That's the case. I mean, there's a lot of things there,

but like a chicken coop on five and a half acres? Are we serious? Well, yeah, I get like what's in the front of your house needs to look nice. But if it's in the back. It's like a mullet. But you've been anti-mullet on Ty. And he's made that argument many times.

He's like, hey, it's, you know. Business in the front? party in the back and you don't like that party when i look like this from the front you know who cares what it looks like so now you feel what your neighbor's feeling you don't like his backyard as much all the sudden i do feel like i mean i i've accepted the mullet you've had it for golly sparky now you make me now you make my rant just you're right dude it does matter what you do in the back so you do like HOAs or you don't i just think like it just if i feel like you would have i feel like you're the type that would like an h oa i'll tell you what

We care about, like, in my HOA, it talks about like, we could, you could own a chicken coop where I live. Move me. But, boy, boy, they don't care about grass. I mean, man, I mean, it's great. They pick and choose. They pick and choose. Yeah. I think that is the issue.

All right. Looks like our time's up. Thank you, Bethany. Thanks for having me. Oh, thank you. That was a joy. Absolute joy. Everybody have a safe Halloween, unless you dress up as an eagle.

I hope you get a lot of smarties. Philly. And thanks to Nate Barg. Gatsy for joining us. That guy's funny. Tell you what. We'll be back next Wednesday with a brand new episode. Follow the show on all social media at Almost Athletes. Like and subscribe on YouTube or listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast. Five stars would be appreciated. Share your favorite episode with a friend. Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is a Wave Original. Thanks for tuning in. Pound it. Noggin. See ya. Don't forget your trophy.

It really, it makes sense. It makes so much sense.