Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect - Too Extreme for Dude Perfect?!

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

The NFL’s Wild Card Weekend is in the books and the Dudes have thoughts! Cody joins to give his playoff and Super Bowl predictions, while Garrett and Sparky check in to see how their teams are looking. Does home field advantage really mean anything in the playoffs? What NFL team has the worst fanbase? And does Josh Allen really throw up before every game? The Dudes discuss these topics and so much more! And later, the Dudes answer some amazing fan voicemails, revealing what they each WON’T do in a Dude Perfect video, giving their dating advice, and why they hate Houston. And finally, we debut a brand new segment called “Twin Tales” where the Dudes share personal stories about some of the Twins - Coby and Cory’s - most ridiculous moments. If you have a question, hot take, or your own Almost Athlete moment, go to AlmostAthletes.com or call in at [phone]. Chapters:  00:00 Introduction  04:20 Cody’s Weigh In  05:10 NFL Playoff Recap 14:10 Garrett’s Dogs 15:10 Cody’s Animals  18:40 Josh Allen’s Pre Game Ritual  20:55 CFB Recap / Predictions  27:30 Crystal Palace x Macclesfield F.C. 29:55 Largest Upsets In Sports 32:35 Almost Sports: Chest Chopping  38:00 Alma Mater Game  51:40 Voicemail #1: What Condiment Would You Want Coming Out Of Your Belly Button?  52:35 Voicemail #2: What Has Been Off-Limits In A Video?  55:25 Voicemail #3: Does Tim Still Work At Dude Perfect?  57:00 Voicemail #4: Would You Eat Soggy Cereal? 59:45 Voicemail #5: Why Don’t The Guys Like Any Houston Teams?  01:03:35 Voicemail #6: Awkward Moments On A First Date?  01:12:00 Cory and Coby Cotton Introduction  01:19:55 Twin Tales Of Cory And Coby Cotton  What to do now: 1. Smash that LIKE button  2. Hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a DP podcast moment  3. Drop a comment with who YOU want to see on Almost Athletes next! Subscribe for more!    https://www.youtube.com/@almostathletes    • • • • Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is (almost) a sports podcast. Tune in weekly to hear the dudes’ hottest sports takes, great debates, interviews with your favorite athletes and entertainers, and hilarious BTS from all things Dude Perfect.  New episodes drop every Wednesday.  Follow along on all platforms.   Listen to the pod on your morning commute or wherever it finds you: Apple: - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/almost-athletes-with-dude-perfect/id1834502483 Spotify: - https://open.spotify.com/show/55gaQm31JIbp6td7QtYsPU?si=6423db3118ac497f Follow Almost Athletes to keep up with the Dudes!: https://www.instagram.com/almostathletes https://www.tiktok.com/@almostathletes https://x.com/almostathletes_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He would be swimming in Nevada catch up. That's just how the other four are. Yeah, but yeah, we've definitely, I've definitely set limits. I'm not going to skydive. Here is the most limits. You're anti-helicopter. Yeah, anti-helicop. Anti-dying, really?

That's my phobia. Dying. Catch-up. Sorry. Ketchup, I feel like I'm good with. Dying, not so good with. Fair. Fair, I'll be thinking of this.

This is, boom. Phobia of ketchup is incredible. What a phobia to have. there anything you all are scared of on the other? Yeah, I just said, dying. Yeah, my life rule is I'm not scared of death. So if it's a small probability that something goes wrong, but it's just instant goodbye, I'm okay with it.

Welcome to Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect, A Wave Original. Make sure to follow us on all social media at Almost Athletes. We're your host. Garrett. Spark. Good. Well, you're not hosting. You're just, you just got these eyes into the A block.

He's a host today. I, dude, I always look forward to this moment. And I walk in, I'm like, who's going to be on the show today? You've been going a while. I took a month off, you know. Was it your decision or was it our decision? 100% mine. Oh, yeah.

My people talk to your people. Got it. I think our people talk to your people. Yeah, whatever. Hey, welcome back. It's going to be a good show. I don't know why they continue to bring that scale out. The scales here?

I told them, I think this is ridiculous. Brand new year. You're on your resolution still probably. I bet you drop 20 pounds by now. He has been working hard. I'll give Cody that. We've been playing a ton of basketball. We have. Prayers we stay healthy. Because you've got something basketball related soon to arrive. Were you sure? Was your people or was it our people that?

Yeah, I don't know, man. I think our people, your people and my people are the same people. Got it. Got it. Well, hey, good to have you back. It's going to be a fun show. Sparks. What do we got going for today? Coming up on today's app, a juicy one boys. We're going to react to the wild card weekend. That was the NFL playoffs. Our title game is set in Miami for the college game. We're going to test our knowledge. We're going to guess where some NFL players went to college, me and you codes. We're going to answer some burning voicemail questions, my favorite segment.

And later, we're going to debut a new segment involving the twins. All that and more. But first, let's start with the way in, Cody. Seriously. You scaled back. This is good. You should welcome this. I disagree with this.

I don't think you should get on, but they're kind of forcing you. It's my people are crazy. If I am lower than the last episode, can we kill the segment? 100%. You down for that? I'm game. Totally. But let's hear like what's happened to Cody in the last month since he's been on? What has happened to you codes?

So I did some blood work about four weeks ago. I had high cholesterol. So the wife has pulled red meat, sugar, and energy drinks from my diet. Yeah, but see, here's the deal for the people at home because this is where, you know, what type of cholesterol is at the LDL? You know, what, which one is high? Couldn't tell you. That matters. And see, the ratio is also what matters. and this, you know what, we'll get to the healthcare industry later. It's not the pod for this. Yeah, I need to know more about the LDL.

But it sounds like it's going to be your LDL that's pretty high. I would probably guess for you it's probably in the 130s, 140s, which is you don't want to be over 100. That's an astronomer. But today it's about the-y-ilers just spreading the rumors. Oh, dude, that's what this show is. You haven't seen my stuff. A hippo is alive. I think you blast your blood numbers up here.

I've seen your blood. Point being, I'm hitting the squats. I'm running at least a mile a day. life is good. No red meat, though? None. Chicken only. You know me. Hard. Fish? That's why you've been on edge, man. I do a little fish. Oh, okay. Enough about the LDL. We need to figure out the LBS and step up there, buddy. Stepping to that batters box. Oh, he's shedding layers. Hey, great shoes, by the way, got some for Christmas. This jacket's way too hot for this room. Dude, let's not strip everything off.

How many poodles were slayed for that jacket? I'm going to go put my guess in at 2.11. What was he last time? You a lesbian? I was 245. Oh, dude, you're looking good, bro. You're looking good. I do think he went down a little bit. 215.

Get on the scale. I never paid 250. By the way, we've got a lot of voicemails concerned about your weight gain here. Are you? 248. That's bigger than I thought. I don't know if I'd be happy about that. Dude, that's 10 pounds.

I have lost the love handles. Well, congrats, Allison. You took away a pride and joy from him, and that's called red meat. And he's lost 10, and he is. cranky around this office because of it. The energy drinks aren't that bad. The red meat's not that bad. It's the sugar. Love candy.

Yeah, you need candy for a much. Well, good job, dude. What's the ultimate goal here? To live past 50? Yeah. What's the weight goal? Weight goal is to just not worry about the weight and just worry about the cardio, the muscle mass. Okay.

It's all I got. Wow. Dunk again, maybe. Let's move on to the second most important thing in today's episode, and that's NFL playoffs. Dude, massive. weekend. How fun was that? That was great. Every game was close. Every game, every snap. The margin for air in the NFL is like so minute, you know? They really say it's a game of inches and you

just think that's folklore, you know? There's so much truth in that. Well, first of all, let's give a round of applause for the storybook writers this year. They are in their bag. The script writers are in their bag. Yeah, they are out early. They know exactly. I mean, they are just calling everything to perfection right now. Really cool to see some of these places who haven't hosted a playoff game in a long time, like Chicago, Carolina. even New England. I think it has been like eight years since New England's hosted a playoff game,

which just seems incredible that we grew up in the Brady era and everything went through Foxborough. So yeah, it was a lot of fun. There was a lot of juice across the NFL started with that Green Bay game. Caleb Williams, man. Let him down the field.

That's his marquee win, man. I think it started with the Panthers game. I think the Rams was first. Yeah, it was, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah, it's a small market. You know, golly. I overlooked him.

Same kind of game. Playing from behind. Yes. The Rams were like, Ten point favorites. Had to rally the troops. I know Stafford ended up with like an index finger injury on his throwing hand, but they found away 34-31, more of a shootout than I thought it would be.

Panthers are going to be good for a while. Panthers are good. The foundation is set there. That's crazy. They can really run the rock. Bryce Young showed me something this year, too. I think he turned a corner. Not to the point that he's an all-pro, but very serviceable quarterback.

I know what you're going with. Like I did, the last drive he showed you something, too, that he's Bryce Young. Um, shots, Brian. Poor Bryce. No, he's actually, they're a fun team. That Tet is a insane receiver. They're fun to watch for sure. Yeah, they're definitely on the, you got to be on the lookout for Carolina.

Did you pick Rams in the Super Bowl, didn't you? I did. Yeah, so I was on the ropes there early. They found away, though, props to Stafford, good football teams find a way. And they're moving on. Who do the Rams have next? They don't play the Seahawks, do they? Rams will play the Bears in the windy city, which that's a nightmare.

That's awesome. Seahawks 49ers. That stat about how many players, the 49ers, and then with Kittle going down with the Achilles, which is just brutal, whole next season gone. Yeah, well, watching that game,

Collinsworth was like, oh, this guy was called up from the practice squad two weeks ago. He's making one-on-one tackles in the flats. You got Kendrickson who was on the practice squad a couple weeks ago. They're missing, like seven, legit. Yeah, I think John Lynch played a couple snaps. Stop.

They're that, they're that banged up. Every game was on, well, the part, The worst game was Patriots Chargers. Yeah, the nightcap, which was still a good football game, all things considered. A little 13-pointer, they leaned on their defense, huh? Where are we on Herbert?

Those up a three spot? It's tough, dude. He's good, you just can't win. I don't have anything to say about teams putting up three points. Yeah, you've been there doing that. That's a good point, Gary, well said. I am not going to say, I'm not putting myself out there like that. So, yeah.

Your boy, scraped by by the hair on his chin, chin, Chin, Josh Allen, heroics man, in Jacksonville. What were you thoughts on the last, it was about a minute left. He got tackled at, you know, the half yard line. And it was like, you're going to allow the best kicker in the game. You're only down by three. Should he have tried to, do you take the touchdown to take the lead

or do you try to run more clock off? He took the, they let him in, but. That's a tough question because I had a buddy text me and also ask, Like, do you wish the Panthers wouldn't have blocked that punt? Because they scored too quickly. I am the type of guy that's like, score when you score and just get a stop. Yeah. Like, be old-fashioned about it.

That's why you have a defense. Correct, correct. The offenses are so deadly now. It's like kind of guaranteed. Probably going to move the ball. I thought they were going to take a knee or he was going to fall off the lineman's legs there. But they went ahead and snuck it in and left him what? How much time was left?

A minute. No time out. A minute. No time out. I'm just going to go ahead and say it. I've already made one fan base extremely mad. I'll just go ahead and make another one. Is this about Philly, I'm guessing?

Delayed Christmas gift. Yeah, it was. Thank you, 49ers. Yeah, I mean, I don't like the Eagles at all. Cry Eagles cry. It was just good. It was a fun watch to me, you know? I was like, wow.

Yeah, especially the fact that, like, Philly gets almost down to the red zone there for their game winning drive and then stalls out. I loved it. It was like the perfect way for Philly to go out. And it being in PA was special too. Cry Eagles, cry. That's what I said.

Yeah, and they are. They probably are today. Or making excuses. Like, we all do. We all agree unanimously, though, if the Eagles are the worst fan base in football. Oh, 100. They're just nasty. Excuse me. Okay, there, Bob.

I'm allergic to the Eagles. To Philly. Yeah. You start talking about them, man. It gets me all. You declareden? The next round matchups are rare. They're going to be a lot of fun.

Yeah. How juicy is the NFC West? Looking at the NFC Final Four here. Three NFC West squads. And then you got the Bears? on in there. So let's look, let's look ahead now. Next round. One seated Seahawks coming off the by will be hosting San Fran. Opinions on that game. I just don't think 40, I think they're too decimated, dude. See, but I just think they're too experienced. They've been here. See, and then

you also got away in the fact of the Seahawks, you know, are they rested or are they rusty? Because that's always a thing we see it. It's also a lot of like, they're so, they have such high expectations as it weigh on them. Sure. That too, right, in your own building. I've actually had this thought recently and across all sport. I just think people are so accustomed. to the travel players that is. And like they grow up in the AAU landscape and constantly traveling and stuff that I don't think home games weigh as much. They don't have as much weight as they once did. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. I just like you're so now, you know, in that world of traveling and doing the whole logistics and game day stuff that it's not really

that foreign. Sometimes it takes the pressure off you. Now, in sport like football, obviously, when it comes to like your cadence and snap count a lot of times you have to go silent on the road. But other than that, you know, I almost feel like there's more pressure on the home teams to perform on their home field. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. That's the way I look at it. Sometimes the pressure's off being on the road because expectations are lower. You know what I mean? So I, and then again, the rest versus Russ. We saw it in college football playoff. Every team that got to buy outside Indiana has been a loser. So how do you simulate that if you're a Denver Bronco coach or a Seattle Seahawk coach? How do you keep your team ready without like being too physical, you know? It's a

tough middle ground to thread. But anyhow, Seahawks Niners, everybody taking Hawks at home? I'm going to take Christian McCaffrey. Are you, man? They're going to put them under center some. I saw a stat where Christian McCaffrey's touches this year, the most he's ever had in a year. That guy is incredible, just in the sense that how does he get to the following Sunday? I mean, we have a long podcast in here.

I'm like, I don't know if I'm going to show up Tuesday, you know? And that guy's just taking a beating and finds a way just to produce it each and every Sunday. Bears Rams? I mean, bears can't play like they played First Green Bay that first half But if bears played like they played the second half So give me the Rams Yeah

I had Rams in my Super Bowl So I got to roll with them I just want to bring up The fact that Chicago has to be the worst place Maybe other than Green Bay To play a late January football game Bills? Growing up playing football

I was a mental midget when it came I mean bills have like They have Buffalo They have fans have to come early to shovel their seats off. Right. It's insane. Pittsburgh has like the Lake River thing right there with the wind blowing through. That's nasty.

Personally, football got astronomically tougher when the temperatures drops up 50. Especially like a whiteout and stuff. You can't fill your hands. How do you catch a football when you can't fill your hands? I mean, the football's a rock. Everything does, dude. Taking the dogs out gets significantly harder when it's cold outside. I mean, it's just tough.

You only have one dog. I have two now. Yeah, I've had two. Cody, welcome to my life. I've never, Remember a second. Yeah, look, welcome to his life. You have two dogs?

You have hidden dogs? On his last leg. Yep, about to turn 13 and, you know, good life, good life. Oh, is that you kind of anticipating what's coming? Yeah, well, like I said, it's just tough. When it's cold outside, dude, this morning I went out, airfoot. Thought my feet were going to freeze off, man. I was out there for like a minute.

Have you heard of a dog you door where the dog just goes out when it wants to? Um, that's sensitive subject. Yeah, I can't. Yeah, I can't do that. Got it. 13 year olds past the dog. That's right. That's correct.

You dictate everything that dog does. Well, I'm the homeowner. Got it. That's how that works. I'm the homeowner. I'm pretty convinced one Monday you're going to come in here and be like me and Kristen are expecting by the way. You actually should just add it.

Don't. Don't. Put that evil on me. Don't. Don't. Look, I love my kids. It's a young man's game. But I am.

But you only love three of them. We don't have room in the Hilbert household for a sixth. A fourth child. Yeah, I don't. I don't. I'd have to demo my house. Yeah, smart. That's why you get the dog.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Can you give me like a scouting report? Yeah, yeah, totally. Age, weight. Oh, January 23rd will be Sullivan Ross's 13th birthday. You know his birthday? That's crazy.

Yeah. That is wild. January 23rd. There's a lot of pet owners out there. Do you know who I'm married to? Your wife? Who's like obsessed with dogs? Yeah, she actually has told me on record

She prefers Sully over you I don't That doesn't even like phase me though It's like I just common knowledge What about the mystery dog? What's his name? Yeah, so then we got Theodore which we call him Teddy And sounds like a rescue dog

Another golden doodle both golden doodles You're one of those huh Yep I'm the hypo Aller allergy No shed Dude I'm OCD clean freak man What do you want me to I'm not gonna have a

lab running around my house getting on my getting on my couch. It's like worse than having a cat. Don't even get me started on cats, yeah, we know about your cats. Hey, Al-ya, Coates. I'm always talking about your animals. Let's throw his pictures up. What do you have, Cody? Yeah, uh, we're talking about your mystery dogs. No, don't worry about the dogs anymore. Let's go to Cody.

Not my animals. Let's go to Cody. You kind of set yourself up for this one, Bob. This will take the rest of the block, by the way. No, we'll make it quick. I have four children and four pets. We have a Laberdoodle named Cat Boy. Cat boy. And we have a hairless Chinese crested, spike.

And then we have a hairless cat named Charlotte. We call her Sharsar. And then Hayes is two. He can't say kitty cat. So he says titty tat. So now the cat's name is titty tat. And that's exactly what it looks like right there. But you're missing an animal unless you let it out the window.

There's something. Oh, and Luna. Yeah. Luna. What is Luna? Luna is a bird. A free bird that lives in it. No cage in his house, man.

She has a cage. She lives in the two-story playroom, and every morning, when I'm making coffee, I open her cage door, put her on her toilet. She goes to the bathroom in her little can, and then she flies to the balcony where she hangs out all day. Dude, dude, look at me. That's my life. I'm telling you, you wake up, number one, a bird pooping on your head as you walk into coffee, and then you go get coffee and you open a cabinet, and that thing's looking at you. Nightmare of a house, dude. Yeah, yeah.

Four pets. Used to have a fifth. Cookie died. I think this would be good for y'all. Like a reality TV show inside your house. I'm good. You would put the Kardashians to shame. What transpires in that house?

It would. It's all my wife. Allison Jones. What's next? What's on the list? Oh, dude, we got go-carts on the list. We got four-wheeler. Animal-wise.

Oh. There's got to be an animal whist list out there. Here's what I'll say. As an avid cat hater, my whole life. You like this cat. She is by far my favorite pet I've ever owned. Oh. Yeah, why why?

Hairless because they don't shed, hyperalogenic. Sure. And it feels like velvet. What's fun about the cat is it like, it'll pounce, it'll run around. It like stays near you but doesn't do the like dog nose trying to get attention. It just kind of like does its own thing. In fact, we've actually talked about getting more cats because we don't like sharing. Everyone wants to play with the cat.

Oh, gosh. I'm done. I'm done. Okay, I'm doing. I've said too much. I've said too much. Now you guys know what we deal with on day and day out. Thanks for that. Yeah, you're pretty much Joe Exotic in another life.

Here's what I'll say. You got like a pettings-in going on. If for some reason the Lord takes me early, I need y'all to promise me that you'll keep Allison from buying 11 cats and being an 11 cat-lady. If that's what makes her happy, I would never stop her from doing that. Please stop. I would never stop her from that. If that's what. I'll help her.

I'll inhibit. Well, anyways, congrats to the Buffalo Bills on that win and going to the Super Bowl. It's going to be great. Yes, sir. Oh, we were talking football. Yeah, we were.

We got derailed quickly. Easy to get derailed by hairless cat. But I think all of our picks are still in in play. In play. I didn't make picks. Yeah. Who do you got to win in it?

Who do you have winning it then? The whole thing. Now that you have the revised bracket. Divisional round. I want the bills, but I think the pats are going to make it happen. Okay. Yeah.

They're doing. If the bills make it to the Super Bowl, my gosh, they would have earned it on the road in Jacksonville, on the road in mile high, and then you're staring at the face of possibly going on the road in Foxborough, if they go to the Super Bowl,

they're going to be so battle tested. It's not even funny. Did you see the thing where Josh Allen throws up before every game on purpose? Did anybody else think that was just wild? That's kind of crazy. He's like it gets so nervous.

But it didn't even sound like a forceful throw up. It's like his body knows to throw up. Any other quarterback, they're not playing the next game. He took a beating that game. I mean, they demolished that guy. But he was all about the action. That's what I love about it.

The sneak right there where he got 11 yards. It was just like, what a tush push. That was great. Yeah, the throw up thing's crazy. They're my team. Do y'all ever throw up based off nerves? I only throw up when I'm like sick. In high school, I would have a pregame poop.

Oh, really? Is that nerves coming out, you think? It's kind of like, hey, clear the system. And then all rockets. or go for liftoff. Was the pregame poop, say, different than your everyday? Yeah, yeah, this was like, before the game.

No, I mean like consistency-wise. Oh, no, I don't think so. Yeah, a little bit. But your body clock new. It's time for the 3-10. 6.30, right before warm-ups. Well, to be fair, I'd rather come out that in than the mouth.

Exactly. Mm-hmm. I just thought that was weird. It is kind of weird. Do any of you guys have that automatic gag response if you see anybody else? 100%. The wrong smell will get a gag reflex out of it.

Not me. Uh-uh. I've seen Corey throw up from throw up a hundred times. Yeah, it shouldn't make any sense. I see that I go there. His poor kid's going to be thrown up and then Corey can't even tend to him because he's throwing up. Yeah, that's true. You might want to stick around.

Later, we're going to go in on the twins. All right, code, so you say, Pat's in the AFC. Who will they be playing on Super Bowl Sunday? Can't be the Cowboys. I'm sorry, we're not going to. I want it to be just as bad as you do, but it's not going to happen. I just think it's Seahawks. I think it's going to be...

That's what they want you to think. So go Rams. I think it's painted fingernails, Caleb Williams, and the Bears. Whoa. Boom. Not Bears. That's their time.

That would be a crazy Super Bowl. Bears haven't won one since 1985. People bad for a cowboy fan. Think about the people in Chicago. Thinking about you, Big Cat, it's been a long time, brother. Your time's coming, according to Jones. So your time's probably not coming.

There you go. All right, college football? Yeah, college football. baby, down to one game. Everybody saw it coming, right? I feel like Indiana. Yeah, before the game, I don't know if y'all heard the pod

from way back when. I think we both picked Miami, Indiana, beginning of the year. I know I picked the Hoosiers to win a year. Yeah. We were on that, dude. All over it. All over it.

Man, Indiana looks the part, though. Dude. I mean, they are just strolling through. Does anybody give Miami a puncher's chance? The fact that it's in their home venue is a massive win. I'm not sure it matters. Did you see how many Indiana fans went to the Peach Bowl?

It was insane. They said on the telecast it was like 80 to 20. It looked more like 90 to 10. And they were loud. I think if Indiana can just fight through that Miami defense and Miami can dictate the tempo and slow the game down and give Mendoza a little, you know, less room to activate the offense, I think they'll be in it.

They're going to need to do something like on special teams or like force a turnover. I'm with you. What was that stat that I saw on Mendoza? that his teams only drop like six balls all year. All season. Dude, I'm a fan of that kid. I'm gonna wear his jersey next video.

Is this a rock kid or the Mendoza? Mendoza. Yeah. Well, he'll be a raider. Still gonna rock it? That's a good point. That's college jersey. A throwback.

Any of y'all give Miami a chance, though. Eight point dogs. Yeah. I do too. I do too. The way they run the football, I love the Fletcher kid. You can't do it Oregon did,

and that's give them points. Oregon gave them 21 points. You can't do that. Oh, absolutely cannot. Right out the gate. You can't, you can't do that. If Beck has a good game and keeps the ball safe, like I think Miami has a shot.

But if they turn it over, that game's over. And, my Oregon just started out behind the eight ball, first play of the game, the stop route, the kid jumps it, goes and scores. That's something that cannot happen to Miami. You can't get wrap from seven points. It was a bad game. But what I do like about Miami is they're not as predicated on the tempo.

They're going to run between the tackles. Like, I envision their way of winning this game is stockpiling, to eight minute drives, finding ways to get six in the red zone, taking care of the football, pre-snap penalties. They do all those things. They have a chance. I forget the exact quote, but it was something like Signetti was coaching for 28 years before he went to Alabama,

and he said he learned more in like a week under Sabin than he did in 28 years of coaching. And he was there for four years. Wow. That's telling. But he does take, he does, he kind of has the, what's the ex-Nabrasska, Dylan Raoli, whatever, Raola, how he, like, mimics. Pat Mahomes. I mean, Signetti mimics.

Saved. I mean, the no smile. They're like, I don't care if you are blowing out a team. Like, I'm absolutely livid with your performance. Mentality. High expectations. He didn't smile till they scored 55 points on Oregon. And even that was a half smile.

It was a hungry fool. He just gave like a little half. He probably ripped the team alive for giving up that many points. I've heard coaches do that. When you win big, you rip them. When you lose a heartbreaker. You hug them. That's why I'd make a great NFL coach.

Call me. One thing with Miami. If they can make it a game late. Indiana has not been in too many really tight ball games. Just the one versus Penn State. Penn State and then Ohio State in the Big Ten title game. That's like a month since they've been locked up in a fourth quarter affair. That's something Miami is well accustomed to.

Every game they've been in, one score games. To Cody's point, like if they can put their hands, on Mendoza, and Mendoza hasn't really been touched up. Like, if they can lay like a big, a big hit, might rattle them a little bit. I'm with you,

though. If the hurricanes can take away the ball, avoid penalties, they give themselves a chance. Actually, I'm talking myself into taking Miami. I know, you really are.

I like their chances. I do. I do. And just because everybody thinks that Indiana wins in a cakewalk makes me think that Miami's got something coming for them.

And Carson Beck's been around the block, man. There's nothing that kid hadn't seen, you know? Just saying. I don't really, I didn't really play football

growing up, so I don't have, you know, a touchdown selly, but I know you do. A touchdown, Sally? What would be your touchdown, celly? I would probably roll the ball like a bowler. That's cool. And you have your fellow teammates. But I would have, like, I would only have one guy fall because I'm not a great bowler.

Everyone always bowls to strike. I would just be like, all right, four you guys stand up, and then the guy in the end just fall over. That'd be funny. Yeah. See, that's a funny one, though. That's a fun one. I would maybe incorporate the pylon, have somebody pitch me a ball, hit it up in the third day. That would be pretty cool.

Is that far as then? I could. So you're not like run into it. You're not doing like the Jackson, our Jackson intern emotes of, you know, they're not like first down sellies. See,

I'm more of a first down sally. What's your first down sally? He's a lot of the hands. Yeah, I'm a hand guy. I'm a hand guy. You can also fire a little arrow. Yeah.

You can't go to the nose now. So maybe just like an aroma. The aroma point. Yeah, the aroma game. A little. A candle. There's a lot. You can roll the dice.

Yeah. There's so many you can do. What about you, Jones you got me in the back you're on a roll here literally on a roll you have what else you got what is that I don't know I was trying to make one up in open the microwave shut it open the hot pocket feeling's too hot first down you know one of those forgot the sleep do you think it's appropriate for a cornerback to celebrate when like the ball's overthrown and they take credit and then they're like yeah lock them out to be fair that means

the quarterback we're sitting there going oh he's too close I'm going to throw it bad because I'm scared Yeah, it's a pet people of mine. I didn't know for the longest time what the, you know. Seatbelt. Yeah. Safety first. I didn't know if they're, you know, holstering a sword or what, dude. It does have a land saver going to the satchel.

I never put my seatbelt on, like, way up top and you're slamming it now, you know? I thought you're saying, you were never put your seatbelt. And then put it behind your head. Yeah. Remember kids, click it or ticket here in the state of Texas. Wear those seat belts. Yeah, but yeah, DBs, they've gotten out of hand, man. 17-yard gain

and they're like dude they just move the chains that's in an old time high and so is pointing for first down when like you're not even close I saw a game this way I think he was in the Rams game

he was like 3 and a half yard short and he was like I'm like dude no it's like third medium get back to the huddle bro I did there was actually another game I think was it was a quarterback who did it and they also did the same thing

where it was like should be immediate blue tank access Morgan celebrated their second touchdown and it's like what are you doing You're down 55. Yeah, I don't like to celebrations when you're blown out. Guys are like squamble to begin. That is a great segue into our next segment.

You know who doesn't celebrate when they're down? Softball teams. You know, I've never watched the game. You could be right. I was going soccer. What happened to your team this weekend? Oh. We're talking about that.

FAA Cup. Sparky is a known supporter of Crystal Palace. They play in the English Premier League, which is the top. League. And they played, I don't even know how to say that. It's McElsefield. Macclesfield.

So it goes, English Premier League, Championship, League one, League two, National League. A bunch of no-name leagues in their McElsefield League. It's not a good look. No, it's not a good look. A hundred and 17 spots separated them on the English tier. So that is the biggest separation, equalling the biggest upset in FAA. Cup history. And y'all were the cup holders? Sure. And if you were to told me we won the FA Cup last year and then bowed out in round

three, I would have said, yeah, sign me up. Embarrassing, though. McElwield, those guys aren't even pro. Like, they're semi-pro. Like, really? It's like a rec team. Oh, they played the library. Yeah, they got a plumbers. Oh, legitimately. Everyone's just a plumber? Well, there could be, you know, maybe, you know, they, you know, they, no, it's like the keeper didn't even celebrate because he had to get to his plumbing job. That's not a joke. That's just crazy. I'm a joke. They stormed the pitch, which was really cool, carried off the players.

Oh, were they at Crystal Palace? No, it was at McEltsville. Where it's just that, it's the beauty of the FAC Cup. It's like a high, not even a high school stadium in Texas. Like, it's like. This was, yeah, farmland. Bleachers. England, very few.

Felt like about a thousand people might have been in the crowd. Yeah, that's, that's why you love. But that's what the F.A. Cup is, man. That's why it's so beautiful. Oh, it was a blowout to one. I encourage everyone to get into watching just English football in general. Spanish, too. German, whatever you want.

But, you know, who's still in the FA Cup? And no, I'm not talking about Manchester City. Nashville. Burnley. I'm talking about Burnley, baby. What a win. Five one. Five goals.

I didn't even know that was doable for Burnley at this point. And Millwall's a decent side. Yeah. That's what we had the other day. And see, they play championship and it's just like, that is the squad. Like, that's just, we're good against championship squads. They, we are good. It was good to watch some goals.

Yeah, you know, who's not in it. Man United with Crystal Palace, they got blasted by Brighton. Let me ask you, what would be the sports equivalent to a McEltsfield beating Crystal Palace, a U.S. sports equivalent? Would it be like a G-League? GMU beat Oregon? Oh, like James Madison? Yeah.

Is okay, NCAA tournaments? I think this is legitimately one verse 16 in the NCAA tournament. No, it's more than that, dude. You think it's more? Oh, one verse 16? It's only happened twice in the NCAA tournament. And this, yeah, this, no. This is a high school team beating a college team?

College team? Yes. Just a random game, yeah. What's the biggest sports upset in U.S. history, would you all say? A lot of people say App State, Michigan, but they really were only like 28-point dogs in that game. Well, App State A&M. App State A&M. Well, yeah, but they were a good team then.

I mean, Russia, Russia, U.S. hockey, Lake Placid back in the day. Howard beating U.N.L.V. technically on the betting line of 45 points. That's incredible. North Texas Tech. 97. Oh, what a year. Yeah, 33 point favorites lost to us. Yeah, that sounds about right. 97 was a great year. It's when I got my N64. I don't know.

What are some other ones they talk about when they talk about greatest? Rich Strike. I'm just saying, animals matter, horse lives matter. Kentucky Derby, the one y'all went to. Rich strike. Lowest odds out of all the stallions. I don't remember. Rich strike. I don't know. It was just a quiet, like everyone there didn't know who that was. And he won it. Quite literally lowest odds. Lowest horse odds. The whole stadium McQuire. He didn't know it. He didn't get the memo.

Rich Strike didn't. What a call by NBC. Rich Strike! The longest shot has just won the Kentucky Derby. Maybe when the USA wins hockey Olympics this year. Or win a World Cup in soccer. That would be pretty monumental. Oh, that's a good one, dude.

Germany beat in Brazil 7-1 that year in Rio was. Yeah. That was crazy. That's a fun little, send us in. What you think the greatest upset is. Send a comment or... The Giants ruin in the past perfect seasons up there. Yeah, that's another one.

Call in or send in what you think the biggest upset is because that's a... That's open for debate. You go a lot of different directions on that one. One that I'm going to manifest. Yeah. Jackson beating Thai in car jujitsu. I don't think... He taps him out.

No way. I can see it. I can see it now. Never going to happen. Jackson gets, he gets on the higher ground and can choke tie out. Keep manifesting, kid, because I just don't see that one. But do you think we should do that for a short? Yeah.

I just want to see how quick. I got tie inside 12 seconds. Not like that. 12 seconds. Jack's going to be a fond of. I think we'll do that. We'll get that film and put it up for you guys. But in the meantime, I think it's time for another almost sport.

Yeah. Because car jiu-jitsu was last week. And now we have semi-professional chest chopping. Chest chopping? not chest? I have no idea when I'm about to watch. Oh. You're just getting slapped in the chest?

Why would anybody do this? Better than the face one. That's a question I have with a lot of these almost sports is how do we get to this point? We're like, dude, you know what? Let's start a league chest slapping. How do you get to that point? If you're just not good at the other stuff? The goal of chest slapping is to slap the chest as loudly as possible.

And there's even a chop meter to test the decibels. That's insane. That's credible. We can get balls and strikes replaying baseball. We can get chest decibles. Interns, you guys want to try it out real quick on set? On the set? Live?

I might have to pass. Okay. Take your shirt off and get in here. I didn't know. I'll let you leave the shirt on. I'll let you leave the shirt on. If we're doing it, we got to hear of. Dude, Jackson is willing to get slapped.

We'll have to set it up. Chest chop. Is that too violent? Like, I'm going to leave a. star on his chest. There are some rules to this one, boys. No headshots feels like, that's a good rule. No dodging. Just raw endurance, iron will

and a test of who can deliver and withstand the most punishing blows. Does it help to have some mass? Judges score on both style and sting. Like, that was bad. So there's strategy to it. There's also a heck of a lot of toughness. This is where you want meat. This is where you want a lot of meat.

You know, DJ Mikel would be pretty good at this game, I think. Yeah, this is where I I sit back and I think to myself, what are the downfalls of social media? This is one of those. This is one of them. A verdict on this, boys? Is this a sport?

Is this an almost sport? This is not a sport at all. I don't even think. It's like college kids just having fun? Yeah, this isn't. But all we've seen is one guy slap one guy. We don't even know if he won, who we're going to go with no sport. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to claim that to no sport. No sport. But on the precipice of being an almost sport. Okay. We're close. Don't, don't, you're not going to catch me on the PLN anytime soon, though. I'm not a chest chopper. I like, take that.

And you know what? Like, let's just reverse it, guys. Back in elementary school, like the golden rule, you know? Don't do something to somebody else or something like that, you know? It's a golden rule. It slips by me. You're not supposed to do something that you wouldn't want done to yourself is the golden rule. There it is.

Look, we're like hands and to ourselves. Do unto others. Yeah. Okay. As what? Well, I was just like, that was the verbiage. That was the verbiage. I don't think you know the second half.

Who used to take pride? I leave it there. Do it unto others. We're approaching our 200. We're approaching our 250th birthday here in America. That's a shirt. The foundation of this country has been keep your hands and your feet to yourselves. And we're losing that.

Just saying, I thought COVID brought us back. You know, we kept our five feet. Six. Not anymore. I like having the, yeah, the six feet rule. It's kind of nice. Use it to your advantage sometimes. Like, dude, I need my space, bro.

Sometimes I just feel like masking up. Just to feel what it feels like again, you know? But instead, I got hit with the flu, A, B, C, over the break. Did you really? I got none of them. Dude. You went through the whole alphabet?

I did. I did go through the whole alphabet. I think I'm in my prime or something. I didn't get sick of me. I didn't even have nothing. You had three kids go down. Don't talk about it. Why?

Well, I'm saying don't talk about a no hitter. If you've not been sick, don't talk about it. See, I'm against that too. Yeah, you do. You do. I get out in front of it, dude. I'm like, hey, perfect game through one. Perfect game through one.

See, I'm not a superstitious guy. I used to be. But I found myself, man. And I realized, you know what, Sparky, that is very naive of you to think you have that power to dictate that kind of game. Only he does. Only he does. It is true. He's saying there's a perfect game does nothing to my boy out there on the mound who's pitching the actual perfect game. Yeah, but it's just.

So I get out in front of it. I know. I'm going through one. And I'm like, hey, DeGrom, how many times I text y'all after I said you all? I was like, hey, dude, you've blown so many. I think he's going perfect tonight. And then boom. Yeah, see.

Usually it is like the first batter after I send the text, which is horrible. and you're like, okay, delete, delete. Yeah. Looking forward to the baseball season. I need a longer break. In a month, I'll be gone, boys. It is kind of a depressing. It's like the New Year starts.

Everyone's kind of high on their resolution. And then it's like, football's over. Pitchers and catchers report. Man, dude. I mean, my year just got, talk about getting chest slapped. It will slap you right back in reality. I did get a little emo this weekend thinking like I was counting. on one hand to how many football games were left.

I was like, well, we got the natty title, and we got the and then I'm like running out of fingers. I'm like, oh my gosh. Because it always hits you like a hurricane, you know, it's like, oh, wow, there's no football this weekend. And then you just sit there every weekend, like, wow, there's still no football. Five months later. All right, I think it's time for us to stop talking

about almost sports and play our own almost sport. And that's coming up. We're going to play a little college alma mater game. And listen to some fan voicemail, so stay tuned. All right. You guys ready to play? I am so ready. Nervous.

Before the NFL and college football seasons come to an end, I thought it would be fun to test your knowledge on the players. The game's simple. I'm going to name a player. You guys tell me where he played college. This game's getting exponentially tougher, by the way, with the transfer portal. You know?

You say like, T.J. Finley, you're like, okay. It helps you, though. Because he's probably gone to four schools. He's gone to five. He's gone to five. But what if you don't have a degree from one of them, you know? It's tough. Football's a lot harder than NBA.

Like, NFL's a lot. harder NBA, do you agree with that? Maybe because like the starting lineup of a basketball? Well, and there's only so many blue blood basketball team. So it's like Kentucky, Kansas, so there's only two rounds of dressings. Yeah, so when I tell it when I ask less players. If I asked you like Cody, where did J.R. Smith go to college, you would say

dude. You and C. No. No, he came out of high school. High school. One of the last one of the last barrenies. Yeah, I know. Okay, I'll give you an easier one if I gave you Carmelo Anthony. Yeah, Syracuse. There you go. Long short. There's a daddy. The title is a freshman. It's impressive. What about KG?

Oh, Kevin Garnett? High school. Up north. Got you another high school one. Yeah, stop. So that's how the game will work. Okay. I will say a name. It will be a football player. You guys just name the college. This is going to be a one seed versus 16 seed.

I don't know. I, fuck you versus me. Am I the 16? Oh, well, I'll let the people decide that. No reason to put. But we're going to start very easy. Really? Brock Purdy.

This is easy. I'm going to give you, I'm going to give Cody the first guest. You should just let me go first every time and then you play off. This one, this one's simple. This is so easy. This was,

he was committed to Aggie land for a long time. Was he really? I didn't know about that. So this should be easy for you, Cody. He ended up going to Nebraska. Close. Wisconsin. Dunn start with a W just in that region.

Can I go and tell you? South Dakota State. Okay, you're going further. Iowa State. Yeah, I was... That's where Brockfordney was school. I was state football. My apologies.

Iowa State is the correct answer. I feel like going straight Philip Rivers is tough right after that one. But if we want to go there. Yeah, I know Philip Rivers. Rivers. I don't know. Ten kids? Don't know where I went to college.

10 kids university. Don't think that's a credited university. He went to NC State. I believe. Is that correct? Philip Rivers? Reveeal the... And it's NC State.

A wolf pack. Now, coach, this is where I'm going to throw. Bro, bone out. This should be a very simple one. This is going to be the running back for the Buffalo Bills. I know who James Cook is. I just don't know where he went to college.

That's crazy. I'm going to say it's an SEC team. Is it? He was an LSU. James Cook is... He is a bulldog. Georgia. I thought he was a Florida State guy.

He is Georgia Bulldog. I'll take it. Two to one. Was he really? Yeah. Why did you give me the answer? You're thinking. you're thinking

he's not in the league anymore he played for the Minnesota Oh, Dalvin Cook You're thinking Dalvin Cook Too many cooks in the show Too many shit's good cooking Okay Next on the bucket

I'm gonna give Cody that one by the way You literally gave it to me It's okay though It's a team effort here Zay Flowers Baltimore Ravens Yep he does play He's receiver for the Baltimore Ravens

I'm gonna go I actually don't know this one I don't know if I know Zayflower I have no idea. If I had to guess, I would say Boston College. No, he's USC. Yeah, I actually think you're right. I was having Rutgers in my head, but now you said Boston College. That sounds really good. I think it's up there in that region. I think you're exactly right. I think it is BC. Boston College. Wow, Gare. That's beautiful. I did look at a list earlier. Not this exact list. I just tried to, it was going to be me versus you. I've been studying this for quite a while now. This is an easy one. This should be a layup for the kid. Justin Herbert. Chargers is where he played. Yes, and? He's a quarterback.

He's a quarterback. He's tall. Yeah, handsome guy. He's a good quarterback. Doesn't win a whole lot. And he played... Man, I have no idea. I don't watch small school football.

It's in small school. It's not small school. It's a big school. No, it's not. It is. Is it SEC? See, I don't feel bad then. You're an SEC guy.

Yes, that's all I want. It just means more. It just means more sparky. Justin Herbert went to Oregon. Did he really? And the correct answer is? Before Marriota? Oregon.

Before after Marriota. Post-Mariota. Post-Mariota. Oregon throws in those quarterbacks for only one year, man. It's like one year quarterbacks. Boom, boom, boom. Oh, Nix. Oregon.

And Auburn. There we go. Oregon. No Denver. Oh, this is a good one. Wow. Our dude. Wisconsin.

J.J. Watt. I'll take it one step further. Went to Western Michigan, I believe, before Wisconsin. Is that correct? I don't know. I just know he went to Wisconsin. He just a walk on at WMU before transferring. That's incredible if he went to Western Michigan.

Yeah. Whoa. Started Central Michigan. Central Michigan. Tight in. The Chippewas. The Chippewas. Yeah, man.

Remember the Texans? You just throwing some touchdowns back in the day? Okay. I'm going to give that one to Cody. He was right off the bat. Wow. I'm not just going to throw in Joe Burrow. I can do that one.

Okay, Joe Barrow. Okay, he ended at LSU, but before that, he was. Ohio State. Ohio State. Good. I think we'll just stick right there. Cody, Terry McLaurin. Cool.

OSU. LSU. No? You said stick right there. Yeah. Yeah. You named it. You named it.

You already named it. I was just going to die. I thought you were going to go Ohio State. What? I did. I know. You said OSU. There's a lot of OSU.

You say Ohio State. We're not counting Oklahoma State. when people see. Oh, I don't forget Oregon State. Yeah. It's good program. Ohio State. Cody is crawling back right now.

We were just going to hand that to my answer. Is there anything better than being labeled as an Ohio Statewide receiver? That's like being a fortune kid. You know? It's like you're automatically going to be successful if you're an Ohio State receiver. Oh, and this is where they get tough. Yeah, I'm seeing a couple that I'm going to struggle with. Oh, St. Brown.

I should know this. This feels like such an easy layup and it's just passing me. I had a guess. I actually don't know this, but I think it's got to be... Oh gosh, how do I not know this? Is it like a USC? I saw him on Hardknock's. I don't remember. That feels right. Is it like a USC?

Some West Coast. UCLA. Could be UCLA. I don't know. What is it? That's a bad look. I'm going to say USC. Trojans.

USC. Okay. Okay. Next up, Tyrod Taylor, quarterback. Yeah, I know that. I want to say this is East Coast. It is. if I'm correct

Southeast Coast Oh No I think it's just East Coast Middle of the coast Tennessee I think

It's Virginia Tech I think he's a hokey And the correct answer is Virginia Tech Good pool of spark Sometimes you gotta hype yourself I ain't hyping you I ain't hyping you at all

Chris Godwin Chris Godwin I'm just guessing He's a stud Yeah, I mean, at this point, you only have like 130... Michigan. It's not Michigan. It's not Michigan.

It's not Michigan. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know either. I truly, I'm stumped here. Ole Miss is what I'd say. This is the first thing that came to my head. Insate. A nitty lion.

Now are we getting into some fond stuff. Joe Blacko. I know this? Blacko? You can have it. Delaware blue hen, I believe. Cody? Are you not guessing?

There's no need. There's no need because he is a Delaware blue hen. Great mascot. Not as good as the Sandys, but pretty darn good. I'm just going to skip around. I'm not going to go in order here. Do some quick fires? I am going to go for Cody just to see if he is competent.

Cam Little. Texas. No. Isn't there a little, the kicker? Sparky. Arkansas. Okay. Yeah, okay.

Well, your reaction made me think he didn't go to Arkansas. I was like, why would I know that? Because you're your SEC. He's a freshie. Little's fresh in the league. Let me get you one that you know. Trevor Lawrence. That's a good one for you.

Clemson. Yeah, baby. Devo. He's a kid. If they win a title, I know him. Michael Pennix Jr. Michael Pennix, Washington. There we go.

Hey, with DeBoer. Yeah, DeBoer. Yeah. I just think your memory cuts off after like 18 months. If it hadn't, yeah. If he hadn't graduated in like the last year and a half, you struggle with it.

Hunterwell. That's exactly it. Mark Andrews. I know this one. I think I do know this one as well. It's more Raven. No, but think SEC.

Yeah. Think Matt Diamond. No, think Matt Diamond. Oh, you. Oh, you. That's barely. Oklahoma knees and toes soon as...

He was a big twover. I still don't understand why kids go to Norman, Oklahoma. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to spend the next four years here. Hey, be kind. You're going to do you. I'm going to stick in that...

Yeah. I'm going to stick in that realm. Anthony. Richardson. Alabama? No. Running back? No.

Who am I thinking of? You're thinking of Trent, Richard. This is a quarterback, plays for the Colts. There's an employee that went to this school that works at Dude Perfect. So there's like 70 schools.

You can choose from. And the correct answer is, Sparks? Who is it? Anthony Richardson went to Florida. Florida. Gator. Chop, chop. Kelsey.

All right, Matthew Stafford. Yep. Easy. Georgia Bulldog. Yeah, baby. Georgia Bulldog. Jacoby Percette. I know, I think. Oh.

I actually have no idea. He's a gunslinger. Also an NC State guy, I'm pretty sure. He's a wolfpacker. Jacoby Perciet. He's just going to trust me. Yeah. Adam Thielen.

So Adam Thielen had to go to a tiny school. It is a tiny. It's like Minnesota Whitewater or something like that. Whitewater has a really good program on the day. D3 level. If it's Minnesota Whitewater, I'm going to lose my mind. It's something like that.

What is at all school? Minnesota State. Minnesota State. Mancato. That's crazy. Zach Ertz. Mm. Does he have like an Arizona field vibe to him?

He does. He does. He also has like Big Ten, because I very tight end, I feel like it comes out of the Big Ten, whether it's Iowa or, yeah. Cornfed kids. Yeah, Ohio State.

I don't know. I'm going to go, I don't know the answer to this one. but I'll go a Big Ten program. Give me Nebraska. Stanford? I didn't know that. With all due respect, Earth doesn't come off as a Stanford guy. But either does our CEO. Drew Brees.

Oh, easy, Purdue. He wanted to go to A&M. Boilermerm, okay. All right? Thought that was going to stump you, Lila. I thought that was going to stump you. Okay. All right.

Amit Smith. Are you serious? Hold on. I know this. Hold on. This is so easy. be easier if you said E.J. Smith. Okay. Troy Eggman was UCLA.

And Oklahoma. Irvin was Miami. Yeah. Emmett was... It's not Oklahoma. Mm-mm. Because that's Barry Switzer. He was... Old Emmett. 22. Duce Toose Pocket Rocket. ...was...

Tulane. We've already said the school. God. Florida. Yeah. Florida Gator. Dion Sanders. Yeah. Deion was easy. That was FSU. Yeah. Yeah. Florida State.

Florida State. Same with James and his crab legs. By the way, this is the best, like, Bachelor game ever. Like, you can have so much fun. Lateon. You're going to do this till midnight. Laten Van deresh. Ooh, good one. Oh, the wolves. Ooh, he was in South Dakota State.

Kind of close, region-wise. Something like that. It was a small school. He was a Boise State. I knew a small. I actually don't know this, which I should. DeMarcus Ware Small school Oh I know I know

Yeah yeah yeah it was small school Yeah it was Which is crazy He's a big person Part of now The Sunbelt Conference Was under a different name When DeMarcus Ware there

No No I know He went to Troy State Now known as just Troy Yep Troy Trojan baby DeMarcus Ware All right

Jason Seahorn Jason Seahorn No idea I think it's like Valdosta State or something small I don't know. Somebody fact check where Seahorn went.

Yeah, let's get to know. I love this game. That's a fun game. Yeah, we can do that for hours. I couldn't. We could do that for hours. Jason Seahorn College, just to wrap it up. Southern Cowell?

Not really? As well as Shasta, junior college. I see I was close on the Baldosk. You were. You were. You were. That's awesome. Jeremy Shockey.

You. Well, Sparky, since you won that, I'm going to give you honors to take this next segment. Thank you, brother. Time for my favorite segment. Voicemail. It's time to open the voicemail box. If you have a question, hot take, or anything else you want to say to us in a voicemail at 972-805-8-866. You can also find that number at almostathletes.com. So without further ado, boys, let's check them out. Pour in those voicemails. Jared says he's been sitting on some goals. Hey, this is Nick with my son, Scotty and daughter Alunny, and we had a question for you. If you could have any condiment come out of your belly button

on command, what would it be? Oh, I have sour cream come out of my belly button on the reg. Oh, this is. But if I could change that. Speaking of a gag reflex. Yeah. What an odd question, with all due respect to Nick Scottie and the rest of the gang there? Any condiment.

I am a huge condiment guy. If it was normalized, it wouldn't matter. So if it's normalized, what is it? And we don't have, like, lint? No. Belly button lint? No. Waterburger spicy ketchup.

I think it's the most greatest condiment. I can eat them. I'm going to go with Ranch Strach. dressing. You're a huge ranch guy. I do love range, but I think for the simplicity of my children who only eat everything with ketchup, I'm going ketchup. There you go. A man of the people.

The man of the people. Next. Next. Good question. Weird question. What's going on, guys? My name is Jaden from Owen County, Kentucky. And a big thing about me is I have a phobia of ketchup. I have really bad

anxiety around it. My wife has to take it off the table when we're out to eat, I can't deal with it. So when I was thinking about this, I was going to wonder, is there ever something in a video or an idea that you guys have that's just completely off limits? If you guys came with me with a video idea about ketchup, I would say absolutely not. Let me know what you think. That's fascinating.

That means therapy. Well, first of all, I am, I think I'm going to take, I'm going to start introducing myself as Garrett Hooper from Collin County. I really like that I noticed like other states use county so much more than we do doesn't matter about Frisco

down in Georgia they named their public schools off the county it was like North 4th side we don't do that here we just do it by the city if he was in dude perfect

yeah he would be swimming in Nevada catch up that's just how the other four are yeah but yeah we've definitely I've definitely set limits

I'm not gonna skydive Garrett has the most limits you're anti helicopter yeah anti-helicopter anti-dying really that's my phobia dying. Cache up.

Sorry. Cetchup. I feel like I'm good with. Dying, not so good with. Fair. Fair. I'd be think of this. Phobia and ketchup is incredible.

What a phobia to have. Is there anything you all are scared of? Yeah, I just said, dying. Yeah, my life rule is I'm not scared of death. So if it's a small probability that something goes wrong, but it's just instant goodbye, I'm okay with it. So wing walking, skydiving, But if it is a high probability that you get hurt, like going down a half pipe on a skateboard,

I'm out every time. I don't want almost guaranteed pain. That's where you draw the line. So you played the stats game. Like any time I hit hard turbulence, I'm like, oh, dude, you know how many of these safely land today? I just start playing the stats game. Yeah.

That's good. That's a good way to what. Yeah, you don't want paralysis. You want death. My fear is COVID, not because of COVID itself, because what it did to the sports world. That was brutal. That's a crazy fear. I don't know what your parents did to you with ketchup as a kid.

There has to be some kind of traumatic story of throwing up. There has to be. Because I can't eat chicken Alfredo anymore because I got food poisoning from it one time. And it was like 40 plus throw up. So I just, I can't smell it, look at it. That's called teeth subversion. Yep. But to your point, Garrett, the worst thing you could do in-house is tell people your phobia up.

Because that's how they're going to implement. What did you say it was? Alfredo? No. No. Oh, good enough. Yeah. Good enough.

Yeah. Hey, if I can get my greens down every day, I have to hold my nose every single day. Next question. Next. What's up, guys? Big fan of the show. Hey, I don't know if Tim is still employed by you guys. I don't know if he's still your editor.

But after I tell you this, I'm very confident he might not be. I found a post that came across my feet. I'm calling you from Miami. This showed up. It says, man arrested for cutting open and eating a dead hog. near Palm Beach is worth having your clock tower. Could be Tim. Pull that story up.

Take a look at the mugshot. If you tell me that that is not Tim from Dude Perfect, I'm going to be mind-blown. So I said in this, so I don't think he's making a look. Maybe check his idea from someone in front. Tim. Love you guys. Poor Tim.

Tim doesn't have that much hair anymore. So here's the deal. I mean, this is where Tim being bald helps. Help something. It's his alibi, because that dude's hairline is too good for old Timmy Holt. Oh, the side-by-side. That is wild. Dude, that's family, though.

I'm not sure why he was eating a dead hog, though. That's very Florida, man. Did he grill it? Or is that just a... Yeah, I don't know. He probably has some parasites if he didn't. It's raw. What got good news for you, brother?

Tim does, in fact, still work here. And good news for us, Tim was definitely not in Florida eating a hog. So... Palm Beach is a nice area, too. you think that guy could go to a decent restaurant. Yeah, fair, right? I mean, I wish I could give a reason why he's eating a wild hog. That's wild how similar they look, though.

That's kind of crazy. That might be family. We'll get a hold of Tim's parents. Next question. Hey, dude, perfect. My name's Luke from Mobile, Alabama. And I was just wondering, would you still eat any type of cereal if it's still soggy?

Me personally, I'm not eating that, especially if it's like a whole. fruity pebbles. But just one of your thoughts on that. Bye. Fair. You can tell he was sitting on this for a while in deep thought. I respect the calling. My thing is, if I poured the cereal and I leave, I think under two minutes,

if I'm in the kitchen doing something, it's good. If I leave the room, I don't think I'm touching that cereal. Yeah. Like, it's just a soggy cereal scares me. It really depends on the cereal and how much time we're talking and how much milk you're wasting. That was a big thing growing up. It was like, dude, if you've pulled a full bowl and,

didn't get your job done where you still got to eat it because you're wasting a quarter of a gallon of milk, you know. Captain Crunch, no way. Just doesn't do well after sitting for a while saying with CTC, any hard shell or like a tricks. Yeah. Those are the worst or frosted flakes. I'm with you. About two minutes. I'm pouring in and I'm eating it as like I've never left my cereal.

But I do like to push my cereal down and get it below sea level. Right, right, just to. It's the way the cereal's made was to absorb the milk. There's that perfect window there. where you got to take advantage. Yeah. I'm with you. That's a good point.

That kid's been through some stuff. I know he's eating some soggies. We all have. He's been forced to eat soggy too many times. He had to call in about it. Golden Graham's all wet and mushy. Have you guys ever had to like out of desperation eat cereal with something besides milk? And what would you choose?

No. No, I've never been that desperate. I guess if you did have to choose a liquid of choice. Water? Yeah. The water's your number one. I did. I mean, I've done chocolate milk, but it's still milk.

Yeah, with like what? Cocoa puffs or something? something? Yeah, what does chocolate milk pair best with? Rees's? Yeah, I mean, I didn't really I just, I was in the situation of I needed milk, I only had chocolate, put it in there. I think it was like Captain Crunch. I had a psycho cousin go OJ into some fruity pebs before. That's a lie. He's never done that. Oh, he did. Yeah. OJ. into the fruity pebs, was it good? You're doing that for a clip. I would like to try maybe on the next pot. I'll live try some crazy liquids and some cereal. Would you? Would you? Self-volunteer.

I mean, not like, not excessive, like, you know, let's go like just normal, orange juice. But yeah, like breakfast stuff. I don't want ketchup in my cereal. But like if it's a, I do orange juice and fruity pebs, it sounds delicious. We should try it. Yeah, you can taste test it. Yeah.

I'm going to not be here that day. Food aversion. I just. You know who we should get in. Corey. See if we can make them throw up. It's not that hard. Yeah.

All right. That's a good question. Next question. What's up, dude? My name's Oakland. I'm from Houston, Texas, and I got a question for you all. Why don't y'all like any of the Houston sports? Let me know what's up with that?

Well, what was his name? It was either Houston from Oakland or Oakland from Houston. Oakland. So I never said I hated every sport. I mean, I like rice, owls. I'll go ahead and say it. I don't like any of them. I know.

What is that, though? That makes us do that. It's an in-state rivalry. I went to Texan, M, you went to UNT. You either are a Dallas guy or you're a Houston guy. So that's where the rivalry is born. I think it really started when the Texans came to town there in Houston because we were just the Cowboys only in the state.

I mean, rockets? Rockets were very good in the 90s. Drexler and Lodge 1? Yeah. I mean, if they were in the MJ era, that is a very dynasty team. I actually think two things happened that made the Houston, Dallas be, for real. The one, the first thing I mentioned, the Texans coming about like in 2003, whatever year that was. That adds to them. And then the Astros going to the National League to

the American League. That was great by baseball to put those two Texas teams in the same division has really, and both teams have been pretty good here of late. Of course, the Astros had their cheating scandal. So it's made things spicy. Yeah. And then what's coming next is, I mean, I don't think it's, it's on the short list, but NHL could go to Houston. Could go to Houston. Heard that. And I'll actually take this one step further from what you're you were saying about college. This goes to high school, too. Like when the high schools get down to the finals and you have North Shore versus D.S.D.S.O.? Of course I'm reping DFW. Born in Dallas, I have to. Yeah, it's a... I guess you really don't know that internal Texas rivalry unless you

were Texan, you know? You almost have to live here to understand it. I didn't have any rivalries. So they started beating on trash cans. And then now I just... They got dirty with it. But I'll be watching a game and my mom is like, hey, Kevin, who are you cheering for here? You know, blah, blah, Houston's like, no, no, no, no. Houston. She's like, oh, I've been cheering for Houston because they're in our state. And I was like, great reason to not cheer for them. Yeah. Yeah. It's jealousy. There's some jealousy in there when the Astros did their thing. Of course, Texans are in the playoffs now.

Maybe it's overplayed bit, but there is some beef between the Greater Hown area and DFW. And who's better? Oh, of course, Dallas. You take JFK away, it's a walk. We know what also? Yeah, you know, yeah. That's a horrible lot for city in Dallas. I was going to say, also that plays into it too is just the weather.

Yeah, it's so humid. The humidity levels down there. Zoning laws. I mean, there's not a, there's not a, you know, business by your house type thing. I mean, hurricanes? You don't really have to be with them? It's a little too soon, but yeah. If you look at the whole globe, I think it's the ugliest stretch of beach in the world.

Yeah, I mean, love. Yeah. Yeah, there's not many people who are like, hey, let's go to Brownsville for spring break, man. I don't even see. I don't even see. Are there? It's because they can just drive. I got a lot of people he used to know. I mean, They wear it proudly. I would not want to live there.

No. Yeah, there's a lot there. Great question, Oakland. It's not nothing personal. Yeah. There's people from Houston we like. The twins even, like, lived in Houston for a while. Type in top 10 world's ugliest beaches.

I bet Houston's zip codes on there. I will say one thing about Houston that they have completely dominated Dallas, the music scene, and it's not even close. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, kind of. Padre? Padre.

Padre's down there. Wow. Venice Beach is just an extension of that. Houston. That's the world too. You didn't even just do U.S. and they popped up on the list. Yeah, that...

Yeah, I like to deliver my trash to Houston about every Tuesday and Thursday. That's about it. I don't do much more there. Folks up, dude. This is Wyatt from Alabama, a rural tide. I got a really interesting point here.

What are your thoughts on a really awkward situation, like the one I'm better to describe? Maybe some situations. that are identically as awkward. So when you bowl, especially if you want to first date with a woman, when you bowl, that walk back to the ball and that walk back to your chair might be the most awkward painful times of my life.

I'll know your thoughts on moments just like that or maybe how awkward that moment is. Thank you. Wyatt? Yeah, that's a tough. I mean, Jim Gaffigan, a clean comedian. He did a whole bit on bowling, and he would agree that,

That is the most awkward walk out there. It's an interesting first date. It is an interesting first date. But I think the element. I've done this. I've done this as like a first date. Like if you gutter ball it, you're like, I don't really care. And it pressures on. If you do the strike, you're like, I'm a stud.

But it's bowling. So it's just a weird, it's a weird place. Is it better than a movie? I don't know. I don't know. You can least talk. Yeah, my bowling thing was I just had a bad first five frames. And all of a sudden I look up and I'm trailing by like,

17. I'm like, well, this relationship's done. You know, it's like, how can you come back from this? You lose bowling on your opening date? You're playing behind the eight ball the rest of your life. I think, I think competition first date's tough. Yeah. I mean, it's great. It's better than a movie in the sense that you get to talk to each other quite a bit. I'm not saying movie. I wouldn't go movie. That's just well, help a brother out. What would you do first? I'd probably just go to dinner. Or coffee. That's it. Yeah, just to talk, get to know, see if she likes competition. and if she, one that needs to be humbled, you know, you take her to bowling.

You put her... Take her her by 17 strokes and tell her to Uber home. Four under through five, baby. Yeah, if you lose it bowling, you just say, hey, it's been real, it's been fun, but you're going to have to Uber home because this ain't going to work. That's crazy.

You know? That is what it is, dude. There's no coming back from that. Are you buying the Uber for her? Especially if bumpers are up and you lose, then it's like, oh my gosh. Are you avidly looking for a date? Are you just like...

A bowling date? No, I'm done. No, he's done. No, I'm saying like, Like all these hypotheticals, like, where's Sparky's love life right now? Give me a quick update. We're focused on what the week ahead, you know? Answer like a sports person.

Are you doing the apps? Are you doing that? We're going to trust the system. We're going to trust ourselves what we've been doing in practice every day of the week. Okay. Are you poking on Facebook? No. Pokes on Facebook.

That's how you got your wife back in like, gnom. That was a long time ago, dude. No, it's changed, man. It's tough. But I'm with you. It's tough. The dating scene's really. tough nowadays. You can't bowl? What do you do? Seriously, what do you do? I'm going to make a hot

take. And look, I've been out of the game for 20 years. So I have no idea if this would work in this time. But I would go and say to all the young people, including you, I'm all the years here. I would skip all the dating apps. I would skip all whatever. And I would go back to the old age of how we had to do it. And that's just like going and talking to a girl. But where they get a restaurant? Restaurant, bowling alley. I don't know, wherever you are and you see a girl, just go talk to her, get to know her, maybe she's taken,

maybe she's not. If she's taken, you'd walk away quietly. So you're on a big, like, get the reps up and just be saying high. No, it's just, it's just be a human and go and connect on a personal level. It'd be, I guarantee you a girl's gonna be like, wow, this guy actually can talk, like,

and probably be like, let's talk more. That's your bar. You're talking. I mean, you're competing against guys, that like fake everything on the answer and then they get to that first day and they're like nothing is like what they said they were why don't you just go and introduce yourself in real life have you been catfish before i feel like you're coming from a place of no i'm just saying like this this day and age i'm telling my kids like you know now granted

they're only 10 and 9 you have to say you're letting them just rip up the strangers yo what up girl my name's ohie i'm getting them i'm having them get the reps in okay uh you're like chili cheese fries can i have on their tablet they're hinging Be a person that's able to go talk to somebody. Easier said than done. It's not. It is. You never did that.

You met Christ in youth group. But how did I meet her in youth group? Yeah, but you already knew everything about her by the fact that she showed up in youth group. This guy's supposed to go to Chili's and find a girl at the bar. Just like, hey, you're going to finish that triple dipper because I'm hungry. Hey, I know this. And you say, what's your highest score in bowling? Right off the bat.

She might laugh. That's crazy. But then boom, it's like you start a conversation. Like, where are you from? Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt you and your skill at Koso, but where are you from? It's insane. Can I have some? That's the answer.

Just go start talking to strangers? Yes, that's the answer. It's that easy people. Get on e-harmony. At the store's playoff game last year, one of those ice girls and me made eye contact. We were like five rows up and I did like to stand up and wave and I'm pretty sure she wasn't even looking at me. If somebody a couple of rows behind me, I thought a land. If you get together with an ice girl, it'll just be the end of me.

That's just, no offense. No, you're not giving me anything. Where should I go? Where should I go? I guess more hockey games Dude I don't know Go to home goods

It doesn't matter They're all married there They're getting stuff for their home And that would be a great You know you gotta ask question Are you available If she's taking it like Well hey enjoy your life

I'm gonna head this way That's great Yeah I tell you where The grounds are Your recruiting grounds You know like DFW's The King of high school football

You go to the target Off El Dorado Loaded Those were probably high schoolers. I don't know. No, no. Most of them are older than me. Cougar?

Yeah. But anyhow, I've been hang on around Target like seven more minutes trying to like fake look at a sheet, you know? That was there last week. Do what? Are you to talk to him? No, I never talked to them. I would start with the bowling alley. It sounds like there's a lot of women there.

One more thing about the bowling alley too is the shoes make you look ridiculous. I don't care what outfit you wear. You rocking those instantly. You're like, oh, that guy's. He's struggling. Those are dress shoes Well They're not

They're clown shoes I know where he's coming from They're bad I just say I'm behind the screen too much Is all I'm saying And uh But hey

Again that's coming from somebody Who hasn't been in the game And hopefully we'll never have to Reenter the game ever So if you do don't come to me For advice Can we just get the Gen Z way in here From Graham

Where do you meet potential dates Oh I'm completely lost I've no idea what I'm doing So like I'm not even really attempting So we'll get there eventually though Are you swiping left and right and all that? Nope

Not doing anything Ant-N-D-M If you had to meet a woman tomorrow though Where? Tomorrow? Oh, church. Okay. That's a really good thought.

That's the best answer. Yeah, for sure. On the shoulder mid-prayer And be like, oh, what up, girl? Not mid-prayer. Maybe right before anything I need to pray for you now. It was like, oh, that was sweet.

So when they're like, hey, meet the person next to you, you happen to sit by a cutie? Yeah. We talk about it a lot. On the airport. Well, because on the way to Memphis, I had the seven sitting next to me. I have historically bad luck when it comes to people sitting next to me on a plane. Either they're smelly, eating horrendous food, whatever it may be.

But out of all the flights I've taken, you know, a seven's the best I've landed in terms of like talent sitting next to me. And that was on the way to Memphis. And I just keep thinking, like, that's going to happen one day. You know, there's going to be a Florida nine just roll in. It just hadn't happened. You got to fly more. You can't get off more flights, brother. That's the answer.

I need to travel more. gotta get on more flights. Oh, it's tie again, a Memphis 5. That's, are we even tie? Memphis 5? Tie, compared to what I've sat next to, tie is a 5, yeah. It's been brutal luck, man.

Well, yeah. I got nothing for your awkward bowling, dude. Keep going with it. I hope you nail a strike next time. And I think it's time to bring the twins on. I think we've given enough dating advice. I'm out on this one, right? I think you're here all episode, brother.

Oh, wow. Your people demanded a lot, and we delivered. Got it. We delivered on that. So you're in for the next segment. We're bringing on the Twins. We'll be right back. Full lineup.

All right, welcome to the set. The Twins. Hey, guys. Twin one and Twin two. Mike position. We need to talk about it. Wow. Yours is like coming in from the...

Oh, yeah. Dude, you're bringing the big guns. You got to drop it in from the ceiling. You're like that. Beggy football player that's still wearing the cross face mask. It's just a little outdated to have your mic that way. I get it. I get it.

Welcome, though. Thank you guys. Listen, you all must have something special playing because you brought in a lot of humans for this. We got Cody and Garrett who are matching. Look fantastic. You are here for a reason, Kobe and Corey. We will get to that, but first.

Why is Cody here? Cody's been here all episode. Oh, he has? Yeah. He's aging here for a whole episode? His agent is really demanding. I tell you what. More Cody.

It is. He's got to make four segments in a minimum a month. So we said, hey, let's knock him out. Does his agent make him wear two chains? Yep. Agent made him actually got three on. If I'm looking correctly. Where's the third chain?

Hey, we'll get to it. We got some announcements to hit. He's down 12 pounds. Are he was about to ask? I didn't know if we were allowed to talk about it. Or did it just fluctuate? He went to the doctor, got some blood work, and let's just say it wasn't ready. He's motivated.

No way. The doctor said this is non-negotiable. Something about LDL levels being through the roof. By the doctor, do we mean Sean Townsend, the original sixth dude? Whoa. You know Sean's going to shoot you straight. He gave me the whole monologue about eating more fruits and vegetables, less sugars and less energy drinks.

So, Sean, that is just, and he took away red meat from the guy. Oh, wow. This guy's been living on chicken and fish. It's also been living on edge with no red meat. Been a little feisty. A little chippy. A little chippy. I'll go on down, dude.

That's time here. So yeah, that was a big announcement. Even bigger. Tour tickets, still on sale. We're still going on tour. Each and every day I wake up. I'm like, are we still going? Yep, we're still going.

Squad games. Come on. This summer. I will say, Gare, from the last time I heard, they are almost sold out. Like, our tour tickets are humming. We're very grateful for that, guys. So I say that.

Like, if you want to come, jump on. You better grab them. Also, if your dad or mom is a physical therapist, shoot us an email. We're going to need it this summer. We need at least six. Yeah, it's going to be, we're going to be to need, we're going to need to take it seriously.

Our bodies are going to be broken. Well, we had some injuries last summer. Except it was pretty mild. Mr. Mr. Fruits and Veggies over here is going to be flying. I'll be good. He is going to be. It's going to be good for the bus, too.

Your bodily smells on the bus will be less. That's more high than me. I don't know. Sometimes they can't hear you. It covers it up. I've had my own boss. I don't even know what I smell like. Yeah.

Oh, I know what you smell like. You think your life changes will make. make it till July. Oh yeah, he's locked in for... It's a lifestyle, Kobe. It is? The extent of my life. It's not a fad. That's why I'm looking at you in the eyes while I ask. It'll either make it till tour or Cody won't make it till to her. It's kind of a vibe I'm getting. It's either make the life changes or life itself has gone by July. Alson has to be so proud of you. She's been preaching this for your whole life. This is what I don't like is the fact we have told this man exactly what Sean has told him, but magically when Sean tells you, you're like, okay, I'll listen to him.

It actually is kind of a crazy moment. Sparky is giving food. advice to Cody. Listen, you made some changes in your life at some point. Found the Lord even more. And you can now speak to it. I just want to acknowledge the moment. That's pretty crazy.

This isn't about Sparky. No, this is about the twins. No, well, not yet. Not yet. We didn't have an outdoor video just drop. Hey, how we did. This guy was in it. I mean, man, dude.

You're agents on fire right now. He's just pushing me. Deep as outdoors. Check. Almost athletes. Check. Make channel. New, dude.

perfect youth football on the Instagram. Yeah, dude. I saw that. What? With a link and everything. I don't know. Is it a photo? Is it a photo?

It's a photo. Fishing battle just dropped. Go check that out. And then Sparky. Final episode of the DPU season is live. Yeah, I'm not going to ruin anything, but you want to talk about

two gladiators going at it. A&M and DPU. I mean, you're talking up or Echalana College football. But mono e mono for it all. Go check that out. And again, if you're confused, that's a gaming

video where Ty and Sparky are the dude perfect team and we somehow play the juggernaut Texas A&A and the Natty? That's where we're at. That is, uh, that is bringing that back to. Get all you're talking out now, though, Kevin Kennedy cooked on that. Oh, it was so good. If you hadn't seen it, there's one play in particular that

I still can't comprehend that you made in that game. A good one? Yeah. I know I've had a lot of bad ones this year. Shocking. Okay, let's go. On the game channel. Did you all ever have a moment where you had to restart the game because you guys were getting blown out so much and you had to do the game again? Because that's like what you would do when you're a kid, but probably not. We'd never do something like that.

We did have to reset some episodes due to internet dropping in here, which is the insane thought that that happened two different times. When that could happen. That is a bummer when you're pouring your heart and soul out on the gridiron. And on the racetrack. It happened to us. Can we get to the part where Kobe and I get to, I don't guess, tell cool stories? Yeah, yeah.

That's how we're doing. One more thing. Send in your sports fails for almost athlete segment. Whether you've tried a trick shot and failed or just had an awkward sports moment that was captioned on camera, go to Almost Athlete's Segment. dot com. And if we like it, we're going to feature it. So without further ado, though,

it begs the question, why are the twins on the almost athlete set? Sparky. Together. I'm curious. We're starring. Stealers? I can do that.

I can do that. I know Mr. got relegated from Fantasy Football League. Listen, listen. Listen. That is true. That is true. Second to last, bottom two drop down.

I am now in the B League. Yes, he is. Data analysts. A lot of other people. that y'all don't know. Imagine if you didn't wake up at 3.30 for all those waivers. I know. You would have got worse than Dead Lacks.

I actually didn't do it this year, and I think I should have. You did for half. No, I didn't. Vidal? I never had a need. I never had a need. Never had a need. It was this year we were talking about it.

Your favorite movie's Pinocchio, too. I don't like it. I agree. I think it actually is Mary Poppins, though. Mary Poppins? Yes, your favorite movie? No. My daughter.

did dress up as Mary Poppins for Halloween. So did you, right? Yeah, I was burnt. The chimney sweet. Because I'm a dad, you know, supportive father, and she looked cute. It was a great. It was great. We'll flash the picture.

Us as Mary Poppins, not bad. I mean, honestly, it's not bad. I think it's good to flash the picture of you being a good dad. Yep. Because here's Adair old boys. Over the years, you've given us plenty of head-scratching moments. Some are embarrassing. Some are confusing.

And all of us leave us wondering how to operate day to day. So we thought it'd be fun to maybe have you guys in here. And we're just going to share some twin tales. Y'all are going down memory lane. I like that. We're going to go down memory lane. But there's a kicker here. It's like an intervention.

Y'all just all compliments. When he says we talk, he really means me, Cody. You guys can't say anything. We're going to ask you guys to just tape your mouth shut. No. I can't defend myself. No. Here's a deal.

Set the stage here. me and Cody have known the twins for quite a while. Sparky came in. O'9. I could tell you my first memory of the twins actually. He came in in O'9? Airplanes, Bob, yep. I went down to college station to visit Trav. They were listening to airplanes, Bob editing one of the very first videos

ever. Literally every time I hear that B.O.B. Haley Williams song, every single time I immediately think of the twins. Dude, when they graduated, they came in that thing and they pushed on their, uh, what would have been? It'd been like iTunes. And it was, I made it. I made it. They were doing it.

I made it. I made it. I made it. Hey, keep your tape on. Hey, tape up, young man. Yeah, so I think we start all the way back in college. There's two stories in college that are very, you know, vivid in my memory. Do you have any college memories of the twins?

Do you want to go first? Yeah, I can start it off because we're already hitting on it. The Houston Dallas rivalry. These two groups. up in the city of Houston. It's called the Woodlands. It's a suburb of Houston. Their family are huge Astros fans.

They come to College Station at Texas A&M. And within probably three weeks of being roommates of me, Garrett, and Ty, they literally switched their city loyalty from Houston to now look at Kobe's shirt today. Dallas Cowboys. The kid grew up in Houston. And he is now a Dallas sports fan. Cori's as well It's the craziest son ever to think that I could go to college

At age 18 and switch my heritage Yeah within weeks Yeah that's a good one I'm just gonna set the stage a little bit before that Oh you're going earlier I don't actually mind I love the fact that you guys are twins

You share you share everything You do everything together I actually have no problem with you guys Coming to College Station with one car It was an old four runner And I I don't actually mind that. I think Corey laughs.

And I do have a problem, though, when there is one, I can't handle it. We can't. I do have a problem with the fact that it's basically like a married couple. Only one drove. Who was it? Cody. Kobe? Yeah, Kobe always drove.

Corey was miserable, still is at directions. And it was like, if Corey needed to go somewhere. somewhere Kobe had a drive him. It's like, dude, just be a little independent. You're in college, bro. That's crazy to me. So that's just kind of how they are. Again, admirable. I don't, I'm never, you know, best friends, do everything together, order the same food. Finish each other's sentences. Yeah, so they're very much like that. So, uh, I do have one bone to pit. We never got into this, but I remember one one back in the day. It has nothing to do with Corey actually. You know, Corey's in the clear on this one. This is all Kobe. This is all Kobe.

We, uh, they, they go and they live in a house. And yeah, it's like the, it's the house that they do the soldier boy dance when you walk in and, uh, they're on the projectors. Oh, man. This is when the iPhone, you know, just was launched and all that. We're all hanging out, uh, and we go to Kobe's room and, you know, it's just, there's a bed and a desk. And I'm just like, yeah, I mean, that's fine. I'm just going to lean against the desk.

And I lean against the desk, you know, and, you know, and, look. Look, I don't think I was 285 like Cody Jones was, but maybe I was. Maybe it was a wake-up call, but I cracked the desk. I broke the desk. Yeah. And, you know, honest mistake, dude, it's not like I'm trying to break it. It was an accident. I'm not like trying to break the desk.

You're not in there right now. You're just having a good time. What do you think happened? I bet he asked you to pay for that desk. Probably upcharged you too. Yeah, he demanded that I pay for, you know, just a simple minor mistake. And I was like, wow, that's kind of. crazy like i mean it was an accident

dude this guy's just cashing in on my dad's you know i had to call my dad like dad yeah it's crazy did you transfer money and give it it oh yeah i paid him how much did he charge you i think it was 90 bucks or something but at that time 90 bucks might as well been nine thousand

that's kind of crazy yeah yeah he's just like you knew his laugh yeah that was one of my first experience i don't even know why I stuck with the kid but i did what about you man, they're taped up right now. This is the time to go in.

A big one for me was we got our new office. It was our first time. Like, I just quit my job. So I hadn't been in like a business setting with the twins up to this point. And we pulled into our new office. And it's our first Christmas season. And Kobe has his 1999 Tahoe. He pulls up and we have the class door where you can see through it.

Pulls up. There is a giant red reindeer nose on the, grill of his truck. Oh man. And on the mirrors were two antlers and I thought, who was this suburban mother pulling up into the dude perfect office space? Just screamed mom. And then Kobe pops out of the side door, skipping in, frolicly excited for the business day. And I had it. I literally walked outside. Corey tried to hold me back. You ripped it off. I ripped it off. And I threw it away and said, as long as you're going to be a business partner of mine, you will not be having a root off the red nose reindeer on your vehicle. And that was the end of that.

You're welcome. She got married a couple years later. I'm still stuck in college. There's just so many stories I can tell. Yeah, I mean, I can't really remember. Oh, I got a better one. Yeah, go. Go for it.

Quicky. I think this is probably the highest level of just embarrassment that I have as a friend of theirs because we're so connected through life. But I didn't know them that well our freshman sophomore year. I only knew them because we would play basketball. But what I did know is that there was a Facebook

page that had a lot of activity. And back then, Facebook was all we had. We didn't have Instagram. We didn't have Twitter. We didn't have Snapchat. And it was probably Corey could have been Kobe, but they made a the Cotton Twins Facebook page. Oh no, the joint account?

The joint account. It was like a public page. You could like and then you'd be fed like twin things throughout the day. And one of their main go-toes were which one's Corey, which one's Kobe? And then they would post a picture of them in matching

outfits and then underneath would be all these comments from kids from their class and I don't know people that they paid to be on the page and it was the most I was like who are these clowns? Please tell me this page still exists. Does this page still exist? Dude I bet they didn't delete it. I'm sending a friend request

and I don't even log on to Facebook but I got to see that. It's just a crazy thought to think that they were their own self-promoting twin page I didn't even know that. I I forgot about that. That must have been... You chose to forget that one?

I chose to forget that, dude. That's not it. The page was called, Of course, I know Kobe and Corey apart. Oh, that is the title of it. Corey made it. 14 members. 14 years ago?

14 members. 14 members. Almost as many words in the title. Of course I can tell Corey and call it. Log in where you are. This is where I give you guys credit. We all started playing golf at the same time. Mm-hmm.

And I remember, you know, I always thought I would be a good golfer. You're just watching Tiger Woods. You're just like, dude, I can do that. Go hit a ball. He makes it look easy. Yeah, he does. And so we're like, dude, just pick up the game. And so we go and we're playing.

And these guys have an all-out just wrestling match right on the green, right on the T-box. I mean, they're going ham. I mean, there's people behind us in front of us. They're just killing it. And I was like, you know, I can get into this game. You know, there's a little bit of mental challenge. challenge, there's also a physical challenge. If you're fighting your

for some, right on the T-box. I think it played out as like Kobe was swinging. Corey coughed. He didn't apologize. Corey said, say you're sorry. So then on the next hole, when Kobe was swinging, Corey hit him with a little in between the legs club swing. Yeah. And then he turned around

and swung his club, hit him in the leg. Then they got tackled. We're at a country club. So all these men that are like, older looking at us. And they're over here scuffling and we're just like, dude, this is embarrassing. And, you know, it's just stuff like that over the years, all the way to, like, you know, Corey running out of gas 18 times in the city of Frisco.

Yes. Modern day record six. That's insane, though. It's an actual six. Yeah, it's not like he gets a new car. It's been the same car they'd ran out of gas in. And that speaks to his, you know. It's always the Jeep.

It speaks to his... Have you ran out of gas in the defender? He's gotten close. Almost did it two days ago. There you go. It just speaks to his. his lack of care. The lack of Jason Gordon.

Which that's maybe good to have a little bit of that. Don't be stressed so stressed out. That about your gas tank, you know, it's like, this guy just lives life on the edge of like, if I'm driving on the tollway and I run out of gas, so be it. If I had one word to describe specifically, Corey, the word would be oblivious. Yeah, that's pretty good word. Like, he's just going through life. If Kobe ain't there to steer him, then he's going to probably hit a wall.

What's interesting is I find the twins very well put together. 100% smart, smart young lads. But I'm going to pick on Corey for a second because I feel like Kobe got one. Corey is like, I don't want to be rude. Well, that's part of this. Kind of like the dumbest smart guy I know. Like he's extremely smart. But then like you said, sometimes oblivious, one of those being cities and states.

I didn't think it could get so bad. You asked Corey a simple question like Pittsburgh. Is that a city or a state? Not sure. He's not sure. Not sure. Which is just mind-boggling stuff. We're talking like

Pennsylvania Bro. East West Analog clock Directions Oh dude he couldn't Oh dude In college

That's another Analog clock in college He couldn't read it Like literally We've given like 10 minutes And he was like I don't know What's it's the longhand

supposed to be Hours? We actually We actually We actually was kind of Issue 12 numbered Had no idea

We actually would kind of go And change the clock A little bit Just to mess with the kid When he started To learn how to read it Just to be like Yeah

Because it was just So he was flying Through life without being aware of what time it is. See, that's what I'm saying. He has that, like, kind of, like, almost to a fault, lack of care, which is maybe good. Like, you know, he doesn't...

He doesn't stress out about the minor things, dude. He's like me and Allison. Allison handles all of my life. Kobe was his Allison. And so without that, when they got up to Frisco, he was on his own. Same way I would be if I, you know... Yeah. You and 85 pets.

Yeah, he would. I'll say this. It's not as easy as you think being a twin. I don't know that from history, but I always asked for a brother, and I never really thought about the fact, like, if you had a twin, the whole share in the car thing,

like, that's got to be tough. You know? People constantly, like, wondering which one you are, that's got to be tough. Because I know, I've seen it first time where somebody walks up, like, Corey, I love you so much.

I'm like, let's Kobe. You know, that's got to be tough a little bit sometimes. I guess you're so used to it, though, at some point. Back to golf. though. I'll tell you one thing about these guys that is amazing. They will look at a putt for a while. When I'm being like two groups are running up on your back and it's old two and they're on stroke seven, you're like, courts. Go ahead and Kobe. Kobe, I mean, he's a young lad. He's not old yet and he's still taking a three wood on a par three. Not all of them.

Yeah, I'm saying the 150 pluses. My favorite is the one when he'll like, he'll pull the putter up to do the thing and you'll ask him. Like, what do you do? He's like, I don't actually really know. I'm just doing it because that's what they do on TV. Because it looks the part. Yeah.

Yeah. And what's the one where you walk around and you like feel your feet? Oh, oh, well that's just, you're just feeling the... No, the other one. You're talking about aim point? Yeah, yeah. He thinks he knows that aim point, but I don't think he does. Yeah, just the...

Do you know, do you know, Do you know any point? Yeah, and we found out too every time Kobe makes contact with the golf ball, he smiles. No, before. Right before. As he addresses, he goes,

it's a little grim. Yeah, it is. And it's like a mental, like state he puts himself in of like, I'm going to be happy. And again, these can learn a lot from the twins. While we're on this topic. So Kobe ran our mass text community where he could text out to thousands and thousands of people.

This is a tough look. Day a few years back, instead of sending the link to the video that we had just launched to tell everyone, hey, watch our latest trick shot video. He sent the latest video that he had watched. How to Break 90. It was How to Break 90. Oh. And I remember literally going like, new video out, Nerf Trickshots 5, and then you click it.

It's like, How to Break 90. It was, oh, 100%. It's a tough look. I also remember we were doing a little bit where we were like, Do you remember outside of HQ2? We were, this is like really close to COVID, and we were pranking some fans coming up with like a fake operation, if y'all remember that in the front room.

He also massed text. We need like 12 people. They're like, how do we get 12 people? Instead of texting like friends, he mass texting. And the next thing you know, we got a thousand people outside of HQ2. Simply amazing. In all seriousness, it's, you know, they're special people. Yeah, special breed, for sure.

We love them. We do love them. John William. And they do make dude perfect work. So, you know, it's all in a nice level. Oh, there's no, in my mind. There's no dude perfect without the twins involved. 100%.

The editing early. The editing early. They did some things there on that really established. Yeah. Yeah. And you are always guaranteed not to be last to anything when Corey's in the group. Because he will take that. He will be late to everything, including his own funeral one day.

He'll be late to it. I don't know how, but you will be. All right. Well, that's the two-minute warning. you guys take off your tape, I will say, Dude Perfect wouldn't be the same without you guys. Nope, it wouldn't. Wouldn't even be here, actually, without them.

Yeah, true. So, uh, anyways, the two-minute warning is your guys is to rebuttal, but you only have two minutes, so make it efficient. Mm-hmm. Oh, thanks for all the kind words. Yeah, that's really fun to listen to. That's the only thing I left out. Love you.

Yeah. I would like to say, um, I have no defense for any way. I have no sense. Absolutely not yet. Judge duty has ruled. I think that was all beyond fair and just. We left a lot of meat on the bone too. That's crazy because what I was going to say is that

I can't defend it at all. The other day I saw somebody with a reindeer nose and reindeer antlers on a car had a huge flashback and I regretted that part of my life. Y'all actually were really nice to us. We had clickers in golf. Remember the clicker tier? Oh dude, yeah. Dude, look, you wrecked a moped in France. First time you had it, $2,000, boom.

Unbelievable moment. I've been traumatized so much by the twins. I've forgotten a lot. The desk story is hilarious. All time. Dude, that was... That was... That was...

There's so many. Pyrid putters off Instagram. Getting us all cookies and then you eating all the chocolate chips. Yeah. Anyway, this is an RAND. Sorry, sorry, I have so many. But it sounds like there is no rant from you guys. We love you guys.

You're welcome. We found a way to be memorable. Good laughs. Good times. But you're welcome. Thank you guys. Thanks for having us on today. Yeah, you guys can be on the pot any time with some tape on your mouth.

Absolutely. I feel like it was a real honor. Twin Tails will be a reoccurty. Run as a real. Tice is a real... Tye's rant. You're the gift that keeps all you're good ones. Yeah, Ty would have some good stuff.

I mean, we left out basketball fights. I want the wives on. Amy and Aubrey. Ooh. Yeah. That would be good. That'd be good. To just rip in with her mouths taped.

I think that's just a good thing for all of us to have to do. Actually, ballastin's here and I'm getting exercise. Getting quiet. Someone closes us out. Is it me? Yeah. Thank you, twins.

Appreciate your time, boys. Next time we'll give you a little more than two minutes to depend yourself. We won't need it. Keep being in y'all. Keep being y'all. Thank you. Thank you. We're not anywhere without twin one and two.

That's it for today's episode. Thank you so much for tuning in. We'll be back at it next Wednesday with an all new app. Follow the show on all socials at Almost Athletes. Like and subscribe on YouTube or listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast. Please rate us five stars. Share with a Friend. Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is a Wave Original.

Thanks for tuning in. Until next week, found it. Noggin. See ya.