Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect - We Made Our Intern Do A Book Report
Episode Date: October 7, 2026Yes, we made our intern complete a BOOK REPORT… and it did not go as planned. But first, Tyler joins Sparky and Garrett to break down the latest in college football, the MLB Playoffs, and fantasy fo...otball punishments. Then Jamie Erdahl is back to talk all things NFL, including which coach is a FRAUD and which team is most likely to keep winning. Then it’s time for DP Intern Jackson’s book report. Let’s just say… he may want to stick to creating content. We wrap things up with behind-the-scenes footage from the newest Dude Perfect video: ROCKET LEAGUE! Chapters: 00:00 Intro 03:10 College Football Recap 08:45 MLB Playoffs 14:50 Fantasy Football Punishment Voicemails 27:19 NFL with Jamie Erdahl 01:03:39 Jackson’s Book Report 01:19:24 Rocket League BTS If you’ve got a question, hot take, or your own Almost Athlete moment, head to AlmostAthletes.com or call (972) 805-8866. Upload your own fan fails here: https://new.myharbourshare.com/agree/gSttAsmDbo6vYCfm3HBdjh?fbclid=PARlRTSARDo7VleHRuA2FlbQIxMABzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA8xMjQwMjQ1NzQyODc0MTQAAafRqYdnXc6xTmfPMNERbnp5yfF-BqLSY3NCu2GQZSehgOTgD69fSBeTqTcAQg_aem_RWLUmW87bcZIif3zTrWKBg Learn More about the newly designed 2027 Chrysler Pacifica at https://www.chrysler.com Get up to 50% off select items during their Early Black Friday Sale using code ATHLETES at checkout. Shop now at https://OmahaSteaks dot com. Get a head start on your end-of-year purchases — apply for your Apple Card in the Wallet app on your iPhone today and start using it right away with Apple Pay. #almostathletes #dudeperfect #fantasyfootball #rocketleage ▶ Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@almostathletes?sub_confirmation=1 🎧 Listen anywhere: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/almost-athletes-with-dude-perfect/id1834502483 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/55gaQm31JIbp6td7QtYsPU Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect is (almost) a sports podcast. Co-hosted by Garrett Hilbert and Sparky, with the rest of the Dudes, their wives, and the DP crew popping in throughout the weeksports takes, celebrity guests, athlete interviews, fan voicemails, and the kind of chaos you'd expect from the Dude Perfect family. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Go Big and God Bless Pound it 👊🏻 Noggin 🙇🏻♂️ - Dude Perfect Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
If it was like memorize all the prepositions, I'd be like, I already know those.
About above a cross after against a long among a round at before, behind below, beneath the side between beyond, by concerning down during, except for from an end to near of Afon over since through two toward under until up upon.
I don't know the planet stuff.
I'm not into that.
Yeah, when's your birthday?
March 26.
What does that make me?
A Saturn?
That.
How does like the book in, though?
Like, fair cliffhanger?
No.
Really?
It's a good ending.
It is.
Yeah.
Are you reading it right now?
A short burst of static punctured the call, followed by silence.
Panda waited until the static subsided and Anya got back on.
Sorry about that.
Mission Center called with our next assignment.
That's so interesting.
You didn't even read it.
You didn't even read the book.
Welcome to Almost Athletes with Dude Perfect, A Wave Original.
Follow the show on all social media at Almost Athletes.
Like and subscribe to us on YouTube or listen and subscribe wherever.
get your podcast. As always, we're your host. I'm Garrett. Sparky. T.
Wow, Ties back. Sparky. What do we got coming up?
Good question, Gare. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our new main channel
release and talk all things Rocket League video. We've got more voicemails about crazy fantasy
football punishments. Jamie Erdall is back to catch up on week four of the NFL and to help
us hand out some early season superlatives. But first, we've got to talk college football
and MLB playoffs, but before any sports. We this week, dude perfect. We have
have a brand new Dude Perfect app and website. It's officially live. You can head to
DudePerfect.com or download the DudePerfect app to stream all of DudePerfect's content,
including every almost athlete episode, Dude Perfect outdoor episodes, and more.
It's totally ad-free and completely trusted space. And then also the new book reminder,
Dude Perfect and Panda Match Day Mayhem. Order your copy today at book.com or pick one up
wherever you get your books.
And later in today's show, Jackson is going to give us his book report about it to prove that
he can actually read, which I still don't know if he can or not.
Mayhem.
What a weird word.
Mayhem.
Yeah.
Mayhem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mayhem.
Match day mayhem.
I've never actually thought about that.
It's kind of a weird.
You know it's another weird word?
Do.
D.O.
Yeah.
Really?
Not D.
It just should be, it should be dough.
Do?
Well, I mean, you could have the OE.
We could have an old episode on how complicated.
Just a weird word.
Have you ever imagined a weird thing, man?
Retroactively learning English, I'd be so much trouble.
I follow a guy on Instagram and his wife gives him English lessons and he's trying to do like all the cereals.
It's incredible.
Yeah, I've seen this.
He's struggling.
A Hispanic guy and he's trying to say fruity pebbles.
Shout out to that dude.
I don't know.
I don't know their IG handle, but it's.
It's a great follow.
Oh, let's talk college football boys.
The Aggies back in the wind column.
Dominate Arkansas 34 to 7.
Ags gained 231.
Grounded and pounded in the run game was out and running.
Nearly outgained the hogs by 200 yards.
It's a big win.
Got to talk about the unies, though.
I think people are overreacting.
Yeah, sure, sure.
They're not the worst unies that's ever been out there, and they're not the best.
Yeah.
They're like they're okay unies.
They were trying to show.
So five out of ten?
Is it just like military appreciation?
I would give it a six out of ten jersey.
The unis I didn't have an issue with.
I kind of wish that you would have gone like just all camo.
Like let's make the pants camo.
Yeah.
See, I actually really like the pants being maroon because I thought it played with the camo well.
Just make the lid maroon with it.
Sure.
But I'm in the same kind of thought process with you.
And I don't like to talk down on programs who are coming out with innovative jerseys and stuff because I love that kind of thing.
I will say, did y'all see what happened?
I mean, you know, on X, Twitter, whatever.
Oh, man.
them basically were like, hey, we're going to redo our logo for the end zone.
And it had question marks on it. And dude, the responses were so good. Like, so good.
Hey, dude, you're kind of asking for it. It was like going to great clips haircut.
Oh, man. The internet is just undefeated when it comes to just like, if you give the internet any,
just anything, they're going to cook on it, man. It's pretty good. But hey, I mean, we're, you know,
I said four and eight was our ceiling. We're one went away.
We got Citadel.
Three and two.
I feel like I literally called this game perfect.
Coming off two and two start, a game that is historically close no matter what that the Aggies always seemed to just barely edge them out, no matter who's ranked where, especially when it's a Jerry World.
I felt like it was always a close game.
Every time.
And I'm like two and two this year with no expectations.
I guarantee you we come in and just blow them out.
And of course, that's so Aggie of us.
It's just coming and take care of business when it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
as Texas Longhorns call the Aggies the little bro,
I think we can officially say that Arkansas is our little, is our little.
They're not even in our state though.
Sister?
Little cousin.
Well, that might be.
I was thinking little cousin.
Little cousin.
That's fine.
I mean, 14 and 1.
Was that the thing that since joining or 12 and whatever it was?
A crazy record.
A lot to a little.
That's how Texas feels about A&M.
So, hey, I get it.
Ohio State beat a good Iowa team.
In Iowa, too.
Iowa City, tough place to play.
Jeremy Smith continually making his case for the number one pick.
Yeah, I end to Heisman as well.
11 grabs 206.
There's been a lot of good wideouts come through the doors there at Ohio State.
Just a few.
How about he becomes the Buckeyes' all-time leader for receptions, yards, and T-Ds in this game.
Yeah, unbelievable.
School history.
He should get to Heisman.
He probably won't because he'll give it to a QB.
See, but I feel like college is better than the NFL MVP, where at least they'll venture.
They'll throw an invite at least.
Yeah, they'll throw an invite, but.
Devante Smith did it.
Yeah, I know they do it once in a while.
Once in a while. He might be the once in a while guy because he is a stud.
And if a team doesn't need a quarterback one, I expect him to go number one.
I think the biggest surprise to me is like is Bamma back.
They look really good.
And it's weird because we're like living in a time where, yeah, Sabin's not at Bamma anymore.
I feel like they're going under the radar for how well.
No one cares about Bamma.
It's insane.
I was talking at an A&M thing last night.
And they're like, do you have any advice for the young kids?
I'm like, yeah, I got advice.
You still got time, dude.
Cheer for Bamma.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
I got booed on stage, I didn't.
I was like, you want a lifetime of misery?
It's your chance.
I'm giving you it out.
You didn't want to say it.
You just felt obligated to tell the kids.
Go cheer for a winner, baby.
Trying to steer them in the right direction.
But yeah, that Bama, that wasn't even close, really.
Ran away from them in Mississippi State.
And then you had Miami throttle Clemson 41 to 13.
Wow, we got some good games.
Oh, yeah, we do.
That's why I put it down there.
Georgia Bama?
Let's talk about it.
Texas OU?
If you scheduled a wedding this weekend, sorry, I'm not going. I don't care who you are.
In Texas OU games, is it at 11 a.m.?
To 2.30, thank you. Yes, okay, because A&M, Missouri plays at 11.
Yeah, they actually staggered the big boys really well. You've got 11 a.m. You have the
Indiana, I believe, undefeated Nebraska. A&M Missouri. A&Mizzou. The big boys.
Texas OU at 2.30. And you got, and Bama, Georgia, Georgia,
that's the nightcap. UCLA at Oregon in the afternoon in the number two, Georgia at number
six Bama again. I'm going to be in a deer blind. You know what else is back. Are you? Yeah.
My choice though. Bucks have started showing up on camera. You know what else is back. I'm going to
inviting me to the deer blind. I'm going to I'm busy this week. That's fine. Okay. That's fun.
Pram is back this weekend. Pram is back from international break too. That's fine. I'm also
going to go to the to the, to the, to the, to the, to the, some deer hunting. You are?
Yeah. This weekend? I believe so. Yeah. I got a, I mean, hey, look.
It's not going to be 100 degrees, which you only get a couple, you only get a couple weekends to go.
Yeah.
Still bow season, though. So.
So it's going to be tougher.
But it's fun.
I need the big boys maybe on the move.
Oh, yeah.
They started showing up on camera.
Oh, my, there was a couple big boys taken from.
Had like four new bucks show up this week.
They're starting to move.
Get in the stands, boys.
Oh, yeah.
He's about the stands.
Big boys on the move.
I thought you were talking about Cody.
No.
He was working out this morning.
I was like, whoa.
I wouldn't shoot Cody if he walked into my stand.
He actually wasn't working out.
He was just a big boy on the move.
I think he was just walking up the stairs.
Oh, okay.
Just giving him a bone.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I was like, dude, he better not be coming into the office early and taking my precious time.
That's my, it's reserved for me.
He is nasty, though.
He leaves sweat stains everywhere.
He's nasty.
You all seen the santa?
No, I don't go in the santa anymore.
The slate's going to be fun.
Yeah, it's a loaded slate.
MLB playoffs.
If you need me Saturday, it will not be available.
MLB playoffs.
I feel bad for the MLB playoffs because so many of my friends, I don't know if y'all included,
the timing of their postseason is really bad.
Like the buy teams had to wait until Saturday and then had to compete with the college and NFL slate
over the weekend, which I feel bad for.
But the MOB playoffs, often running.
It's some absolutely incredible games already.
Oh, incredible.
They have not disappointed.
It's still early.
That's the beautiful part.
The White Sox, sweep the Astros.
Thank you.
Southside City of Chicago.
We love you.
The windy city was mighty pretty.
Took both from the Stroes.
Is that too long of a break, man?
The buy teams went from Sunday to Saturday without a baseball game.
In a game that's meant to be played every day.
Don't be so good, dude.
I just feel like that's almost a disservice to your teams.
You can play games.
You can play basketball.
simulated games, but, I mean, gives your pitching rotation a break.
I just love that the Braves are one-one with the, I mean, it's giving me hope.
It's giving me hope.
Not only they win, they had a bullpen game.
They were saving sale for game three, and it paid off.
They win game two and go back to Atlanta with arrested Chris Sale one-to-one.
So everybody out there like me who are hate cheering the Dodgers, to keep it going.
And then my sales pitch to anybody that doesn't watch baseball is to go watch the last at bat of the Padres game.
and that is what baseball's about.
It is about the pitcher versus the batter and just the battle.
And what a battle that was, dude.
Insane battle.
Probably the best closer in all the baseball you could argue.
I thought Miller had him.
Dude, 104?
104.
And he just fouled it back.
Fout it back.
And then he got what is a slider back up the middle?
Jackson Churrier.
No, he did a slider down.
Well, he kept battle in there with two strikes.
Down to their final strike.
We know all about that as Ranger fans.
but the Milwaukee Brewers steal game two with a walk-off winner Jackson Cheerio.
They're up two nothing.
I believe that was my pick to win it all.
Was the brew crew?
Yes, sir.
Yeah, yeah, so a good start for the brew crew.
I can't believe you would pick against Susie's team.
That's disgusting.
Who's Susie's team?
The Padres?
Too soon.
Not dead yet.
Not dead yet, but on the, they're definitely on life support.
Yeah, they are.
They got breathing tubes through their nose.
But baseball playoffs, get your eyes on them.
Last thing before we talk to Jamie and catch up on our NFL, fantasy football.
where are we what's what's the record look like at the DP league DP league's always just highly contested
our work I feel like goes down our work level a little bit yeah but it's also it's good for team
morale oh it absolutely is what's your record I am I'll be two and two after this week um and I had
I had Brock that I you know didn't get back till week two started oh and two started started tough didn't
have my full team had a lot of guys on IR a lot of guys hurt avoided major injury uh
through this week. So I like where my team's at. I just need, like, I need, I need to make two more
trades. I need a, I need, what? Just need to make a couple more roster move. It's murmuring going
around the office when you're 0 and 2, and I said, you don't know, Ty. He'll be in the picture.
He'll find his way in the picture. You've done that. Gair's got one of the best teams in the league
right now. He does. I think, I think, like, to me, it's like, just get to the playoffs.
And I think, like, what, seven wins will probably get you there? Yeah, I think so. I think that would
get you into the playoffs.
I think seven wins would get you to the playoffs.
So you're going to, like I said, you're going to lose a couple weeks.
You just can't, you're just finding out who your team is right now.
I think fantasy this year is having two capable running backs, because I feel like
RBs are at a premium this year more than ever.
Totally.
And then having guys on your team that can individually go and win you games.
You're heavy hitters.
I think that's the secret this year.
And right now at wide receiver, I've got a bunch of guys that are just solid producers,
but I don't have that bejean or Brock at wide receiver that's going to go.
The CD or Tet this week, which was absurd.
Alave, that guy that can just go get you 30-something points and win you the week.
You're known as a guy who loves to mix it up.
How many trades deep are we this year?
I think I'm three trades in this year, which is slow for me because we were on the Africa trip,
and we couldn't watch games and we're on different time zones.
Hits the slow start for you.
I wasn't dialed.
And now that I'm back, I'm on a two-game.
win streak and there's more trades in the future. I'm trying to get Josh Allen from there,
but he's got a personal connection to Josh that. I'm just going to have to overpay and I don't
know if I'm willing to do that. Half of your house, your new house. It's not worth it.
Ty, I'm telling you right now it's not worth it. But you'll trade him some acres or something.
I firmly believe I'm sitting with two guys who could meet up in the Super Bowl. Y'all too
have gargantuanite teams. Early news out of the B-League camp is that Kobe Cotton.
It might get relegated again. It's in danger of going to Sea League. That would be the best
news for everybody. Honestly, if I got relegated from this, the only news I'd be better than that is.
Kobe going down to sea? Yes. Yeah. You're not getting relegated.
It's just, that would be the best thing. No chance he does. But I just, I mean,
love the twins. Some of the worst fantasy football players I have ever seen in my life.
Their inability to talk about a somewhat responsible fair trade is just, and then any trade
that doesn't involve them is the worst trade that they have ever seen by a mile.
And then, you know, you try and talk to him about a deal. And it's just like, what are,
what are we doing? He's hanging on by a thread right now. Corey, Corey is dependent on the 45 point
game from a player. Yeah. And it's not going to happen and he's going to be in trouble. But he is
four no. So I got to give him credit to where credits do. Uh, see, but what's funny is I'm pretty
sure Kobe has Jemir Gibbs in B league and is not won a game. And I've been telling him, dude,
You need to trade you.
Corey, Corey beat me.
So, again, he had the 40 point, but then he had the fluke week of the two random
Bears receivers, getting 30 each.
And it's like, you're going to win games like that.
And that's fine.
That's fantasy.
Well, I like both of y'all's teams.
You could end up in a Super Bowl.
I don't like Kobe's team.
Check under your kids or check under your beds at home kids.
You might see a C league under there.
It's a monster.
You don't want to see that.
Yeah, you don't want to see that.
The C league monster.
Speaking of fantasy, fantasy football punishments have been a thing.
We certainly have enjoyed getting to hear some voice mails.
What do you say we cook up a couple more voicemails of some of the best fantasy football punishments?
J.B., rip it.
Hi, it's Ben, or he's from Lexington, Kentucky. I'm 13.
And my least fancy football punishment is the loser has to cut the winner's full backyard with safety scissors.
Ooh, yeah.
Thank you.
With safety scissors?
Yeah.
Like, what is that?
They don't have a point on them?
I don't know what safety scissors means, but I mean.
but I mean you're cutting the backyard with scissors.
It'd be like those plastic ones that kids use in grade school, most likely.
Like not even a metal edge to them.
Can you get like a good pair of scissors?
See, like how quality is that job going to be, you know, if you're the winner.
Like I'm worried that I'm going to be disappointed in the end result with, you know, winning.
And now this guy's got to cut my yard.
The question is by the time he gets done cutting, does he have to cut again?
Because it's growing back?
That's going to take a lot of variables in play.
What if the winner of the league is like what lives in an apartment complex?
Yeah.
He doesn't have a yard to cut.
You kind of get a safety.
Or you've got to do like the HOA like public areas.
And now you're doing a public.
Six acres.
Yeah.
With safety scissors.
Can you imagine doing six acres?
That's brutal.
That's pretty rough.
I can't imagine doing six acres of hand cutting grass.
So therefore it is a quality.
And he said he was 13, right?
If I heard that voicemail right.
It sounded 13 with all due respect.
I mean, that is kind of, y'all, y'all playing.
Y'all are kind of brutal on each other.
Hey, dudes, this is Austin from Columbus, Ohio.
I was watching y'all's episode about fantasy football punishments.
And this year, what we're doing is the loser has to, for a month,
memorize the Declaration of Independence and every word that they get right is a paintball shot to their back.
Thanks, no, no, everyone they miss.
Wrong.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Or maybe it's everywhere to get right and you just don't want to get any of it right.
Are we talking like the preambles and everything?
Like how big is the actual?
Only 320 words in the main text of the Declaration of an event.
Only?
Oh my gosh, dude.
You get a month?
No.
A month helps.
Bro, that you're going to, he's going to die.
The guy's going to die from paint ball shots.
I think I'm just like triple pantsing up with a couple sweatshirts and just just give it to him.
I want to see that payoff though where they line him up on a five.
wiring line, who gives the full text.
So at worst, how many words were there?
1,320.
That's a lot of paintballs.
Yeah, at worst, you're taking 1320.
No, no, no, no.
That's a few hoppers.
There's more than that.
1320, that's it, or 13,200?
1,320 in its main text.
It's main.
Hey, you do come out the other side of a better American for it.
Yeah, yeah, those are two rough ones.
The goal would be to memorize, at least have.
Which one are you picking between those?
If I had to pick, probably Declaration of Independence.
Really?
Yeah, just because it's more...
Do you already know some of it?
No.
You're crazy.
I'm picking scissors all day.
Yeah, I think I'd go.
Yeah, man, I don't know.
If it was like memorize all the prepositions,
I'd be like, I already know those.
So, like, that would be nice.
There's like, what is there?
Like, what is, how many is it?
There's a lot of prepositions, but I know them all.
How many?
I mean, I can tell you.
Yeah, tell me.
About above a course.
cross after against along among a round at before behind below beneath beside between beyond
by concerning down during except for from and into near of off on over since through two toward
under until up upon with within without like past a board a mid throughout underneath unto unto and
these are prepositions whoa wow might be the coolest thing i've ever seen you do
uh thank you that was miss eggleston's class uh sixth grade i think you think anything stuck that well
with Jackson at school? No, and I'm not sure why I spent so much brainpower to remember the
prepositions, because I don't know what I use them for other than that. Why would you need to know
your prepositions? It's a cool party trip, or that it is a preposition. Hey, don't get me started on
the English language. Okay. I don't know. And here I am like, do is a weird word, you know,
like, but I don't. It is kind of weird once you said it. Can I be fully transparent here?
You don't know any propositions? I'm going to say something that's really bad. Oh, no.
Dude, when it comes to like verbs, adjectives, I have.
have no idea.
I'm going to be fully honest, truly.
Like a noun.
We may need to do a basic English test.
I know what a noun is.
Name, person, place, or thing, right?
Yeah.
And that's about where it ends.
Okay.
Can you give us an action verb?
An action verb?
Basketball.
That would be a noun.
Your brother's name is an action verb.
Yeah, Chase.
Oh, okay.
I was going to say, is finishing one?
A preposition?
or an action verb.
Like you finish.
Like I finished the test.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, we're about to expose ourselves here, boys.
Yeah, I shouldn't even abroad it now.
We're getting into the book report later.
Look, I think it'd be kind of fun to take some, like, fifth grade test.
I think I would flunk a lot of them for sure.
I think a lot of us would.
My kids are by far smarter to me, no question.
Like, I'm not sure I could do like basic, like long multiplication anymore, you know,
where you stack the numbers and you have to, like,
like comment below if you want a smarter than a fifth grade segment because actually that would be
really fun i'm just curious to figure out where we where we stand this could just lead into my rant on
why the education system is broken i don't disagree with you yeah because i'm sitting here my mid 30s too
scared to talk about how i don't know that but you're doing just fine also why do you why do you need algebra
dog why do you know i don't feel like it's hurt me you don't need calculus when was last time you're
like that's a trapezoid and i needed to know that you don't need it it's a wet dude you like i i i
I mean, we dedicated a whole year to geometry.
We did.
Why? Why did we do that?
The things that we do need, like other languages don't even care about.
Taxes.
We're going to revamp the school system on almost athlete.
Geometry and a trick shot?
Never.
No, I throw it.
And then whenever it misses, I just go a little bit further the other way.
No, I will say, Ty does actually use physics quite often.
Like, you do use physics.
You have a basic understanding of, like, physics to be like, no, it's going to react this way.
so I have to go, you know, I have to spin it this way.
I don't know if that's from school or more so, like,
working, like, on a ranch and, like, just, like, doing things.
Just being hands-on in general.
Yeah.
I don't think that was necessarily, like, a learned-in-school skill.
Well, welcome to the homeschool round boys.
Can you start homeschooling, home-schooling, man?
It's like Bible study.
We show up too much.
All right, let's hit the next one.
Next punishment.
I found the craziest fantasy football punishment.
How old are these kids?
Somebody had two.
object to a wedding to people that she did not know and had to object to make up a reason.
I don't know what kind of nine-year-old these kids are playing in, but it's next level insane.
And I still can't believe that. I don't know who's coming up with the punishments for him.
Dude, that's impressive. Do they still ask that at weddings? Does anyone object?
Yeah, I think it's just run-of-the-mill word of mouth.
I don't think I asked anyone. I don't think I gave the preacher.
anyone the option like what do you you just like anybody show a hands anybody objecting then what then what do
you do oh well uncle steve said no so i guess we can't get married yeah that's a lot of point of
that that's a lot of planning to open that up to yeah to open that door really late to an it is just
funny that we have i don't know how old the kid was he seems like he seems young and it's just he's
fun like this is their punishment he has to object in a wedding i mean that's terrible for the
bride yeah i mean that's kind of a punishment to her that's kind of at the expense of someone else
Yeah.
Supposed to be her day and then some nine-year-olds
piping up, objecting the wedding.
I object, Miss Libby.
Therefore, I'm out on punishments one and three
because you're affecting with somebody else's livelihood
at that point in the game.
The scissors affects them?
These are brutal.
Mess up the yard.
Hello, dude, perfect.
I heard you guys wanted fantasy football punishments.
Basically, my punishment is that the loser
has to take an official high school SAT test
and they have to spend four hours on a Saturday morning,
sitting in a testing room full of high school,
she's taking the test.
Yeah, so we've gone down this road.
We made Cody do the ACT one year.
This was a while back.
And again, I think the problem with a lot of these punishments
is even inadvertently in this punishment for Cody,
we began affecting other people.
He showed up to take the ACT,
obviously kids that are trying to go to call.
college, walk in the room and they're like, Cody from Dude Perfect is here. They're trying to
take photos of him. Now kids are getting kicked out of their ACT test because they got their
phones out trying to get a photo. So yes, it's a, that is a brutal one. It's probably a good
punishment for most people. We kind of had to get away from that one because again, we're,
we're starting to affect other people, which I don't think is the spirit of fantasy football
punishment. It should just be a nice fun. Um, you know, I, I think,
I think these should be able to be knocked out in a relatively short amount of time without too much other.
Pain inflicted.
Yeah, like collateral damage, I guess.
Yeah, no, I'm picking up at your button down.
For me personally, I see Jones in an SAT immediately I get like way less self-conscious.
I'm like, no chance he scores better than me.
Everybody else unknown.
Yeah.
But Jones walks in, I'm like, hey, at least I'm not the low score.
No doubt.
You're slower than the last year than the slowest guy.
I love it.
Yeah, those are brutal. Fancy football.
Don't know why we do it to ourselves.
I'm impressed at the age of kids getting into fantasy football.
I mean, I don't know age confirmations here, but sounds like we got some young players in the game.
My kids want to play.
My kids want to play.
But yeah, keep sending in the voicemails the number 972-805-8866.
You can also find the number at almostathletes.com.
So, yeah, keep sending them in, and we will keep on reacting to them.
But Sparks, it's time.
It's time for you to go.
Me and Ty got to do some quick stuff.
We're going to hop out, but you're going to talk to Jamie about the NFL?
Yes, that's right.
Ty and G.
We'll be back later to take us behind the scenes of our Rocket League video with Jackson.
But for now, I'm going to talk some NFL with Jamie Erdall.
And that's coming up right after the break.
Sparky, I've been trying to build some muscle lately, if you haven't been able to tell.
You have any tips for me?
One word, protein.
But nowadays, they add protein to everything and it tastes processed and fake.
I stick to the good stuff. Omaha steaks. I do love Omaha steaks. Remember when we had intern
Blaze cooked them up for us and Colt McCoy? How could I forget? I sure do. Gee, the best part is they
have nothing to hide. They tell you where it's from, how it's cut, and how it's aged. We have high
standards, but so does Omaha steaks. And it's just not the stakes. They've got burgers,
chicken, hot dogs, seafood, and more. They have so many options. It makes cooking dinner for the kids
all week so easy. A nice sirloin with the Omaha.
steak seasoning in their steak butter.
You can't beat it. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.
Me too, Sparky. Let's get interned Blaze on it.
Blaze!
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Almost, hey, almost.
This segment is brought to you by Omaha Steaks.
So joining us once again is the host of NFL Network's Good Morning Football
and the still undefeated Jamie Erdahl.
Yeah, Jamie.
Now I'm undefeated.
It's all the things.
A smile as big as Sofi Stadium.
What a flex, by the way.
Let's go ahead and frame that up.
Make sure Sofey's in the shot.
Super Bowl.
this season. So if I stadium, it is here in Los Angeles where the Rams two and two, it's nice,
all the additions that they made, but like the Vikings are four and oh, and here we are,
although I'm terrified of the offense, but that's either here nor there. They have an undefeated
month of September. We'll see how October goes. Four wins, four touchdowns. How many touchdowns on
the year? You know what? It's four wins, period, paragraph, okay? Like, that's just what we're
going to focus on. I want to talk some professional football, but before we do that, did I see correctly
that your daughters were playing a little flag football,
which I love the ladies getting involved.
That's a new thing is the ladies getting involved in flag football.
I'm so here for it.
It's really fun.
It is.
Yeah, one of them found the end zone, right?
Yeah, both of them did.
Seven-year-old daughter, five-year-old daughter,
the two-year-old's mostly just there for the chicken nuggets
because she has to attend all the games.
Yes, the seven-year-old plays for the Eagles.
It's just like the NFL's investment in Flag,
girls flag specifically. It's so cool for them because they've got like the authentic
gear. So the seven-year-olds on the Eagles, she, yeah, she was the one who had the juke and
hit the end zone. My kindergartner, my five-year-old, who I coach, and then I got to pick the
team, so they are the kindergarten Vikings. She was terrified of carrying the ball last week.
So that was the first handoff of the game. She hit the jets on the right side. And then after that,
she didn't want to touch the ball again. So, you know, we got the one touch.
now we celebrated as mom and daughter and then I had to pay attention to the rest of the kids.
Easy putting up points. You're going to get calls from from NFL teams.
Exactly. I may have texted that video to I may have texted the video to one of 32 head
coaches in the NFL and he goes, that's the easy part. Then you got to face the press afterwards.
And I was like, you know what? That's true.
Let's talk football. We talked 0 and 4 teams last week. We still have them. Dolphins, Texans,
chargers, bucks, Titans.
Only the 1992 Chargers
made the postseason after an
0-and-4 start. Dark days
got even darker for this bunch.
I mean, I don't even know what to say.
I'm kind of at a loss for words.
I mean, do you even, do we feel an editorial
obligation to address these teams?
Or should we set a new standard here
on Wednesdays to be like, you got to win at least
two in order for us to talk about you?
Because like, this is like the problem child
that you're like, you come to me when you,
get your grades right kind of thing.
Like you can't play in your game on Friday nights if you don't get at least a
see. Like we, this is where I'm at right now with some of these teams.
I don't like the fact that Cam Ward is annoyed when he shows up at the press
conferences.
Like you got to be a professional in all facets.
And I think he doesn't want to have the hard questions asked yet he's still going to
be perturbed and no one's in the room.
What is that about the Buccaneers?
I don't fault him.
You had a quarterback that got hurt.
You have started an undrafted guy.
He played fine.
but it's still just a sloppy start to their season.
The Dolphins, Jeff Hathley, more power to you.
You're building something there.
And, you know, we'll see you in 2027.
And I am, I don't know what happened to the Texans.
This is shocking to me.
Of all of them, that one surprises me the most.
And, but in that point, the Cowboys Texans game, in my opinion,
that was like your season had to be salvaged.
And the Cowboys did it.
So shout out to them.
Shout out to the Cowboys.
safe to say that the loser of that game, whoever it was going to be, the head coach was going to, the seat was going to heat up a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
You know when you're in your car, well, you probably don't because this doesn't happen to you in Texas a whole lot.
But growing up in Minnesota, you live and die by the ability and capability of the seat heater, the heat seater in your car.
So like.
I thought you were incapable of purchasing a car with heat seats.
I thought you were going, which wouldn't have been wrong.
You don't need this.
You don't need this in Texas.
Carry on.
You got the automatic car starter, which is like, that's a luxury.
And then you got your seat heater.
And like when you hit those three bars, like you know what you're getting into.
When you lose four games and you always start your season like this,
Tamiko Ryans, we're going to naturally wonder like what's going on in the room.
So again, I feel like other teams are playing better that they deserve our time, Sparky,
than what we got going on right now with the winless teams.
I don't disagree, but these teams are so bad that they're talkworthy, you know what I mean?
And is it just me or does five teams still being full on defeated at O and four?
Does that feel like a bunch at this point in the year?
Or is it just me?
It does.
It does because, you know, like we always hear that phrase like, well, these are professionals.
Like, they're going to figure it out.
And it's just like I, you really have to ask the question, like, who can the dolphins beat?
And when you start to like use the tone that way, A, becomes kind of condescending,
which I hate that.
That's one of my like social pet peeves is when someone speaks to me in a condescending
tone. So then when I flip it on like an NFL team, I'm just like, I don't want to do this to you.
I don't want to be condescending. But I guess at this point, it may be the Jets, like the Dolphins Jets
now is going to be like, who is the battle of the frustrated teams or the season. So like,
I don't want someone to go over. I don't want that for them. I don't want that for us.
We talk the O and four teams. Let's talk the four and O teams, the teams that really deserve
the good word. Chiefs, Vikings, Niners. Let's start with your Vikings.
Okay. I'm fully aboard this will.
Riker MVP. Let's do it. They give it to a quarterback. Yeah, well, this year it's a kicker.
Is he ever going to miss another kick? I mean, now that you just said it, probably.
Yeah, right, right, upright is so in play this weekend.
I feel like we should let the listeners know that when we chat on social media,
it's purely just sending memes back and forth to each other about our respective teams.
Like, that's our language now as friends. And I haven't sent you this one yet, but I saw it.
I was like, this one's got to go to Sparky.
It's Will Reichert holding Kyler and a baby Bjorn
and then like the rest of the team
on his like piggybacking the rest of his team
and just like Will Reichert is super dad.
I'm like, these are the things that get pushed to me
in my algorithm.
No, in all honesty,
it's fine.
It's just recency would tell me
that it's not to be trusted.
It was just two short years ago
that Sam Darnold was seven and a oh.
They dropped two games.
to the Chargers and then the Lions, and then they did rip off the rest of the wins in the season.
But none of that matters if you do not have a team that can be powerful in January.
Like it is a gift and a curse to feel like, you know what, we're a solid franchise.
We deserve playoff success.
Like regular season just like doesn't do it for me anymore.
So first of all, you've got to make it there.
And I don't just want to be like adequate.
I don't, you have to win September, but I don't want to be satisfied by that.
And Kyler, it's all up and down his body language.
The offense is not right.
I know Justin Jefferson was out.
Now they've got to play, I think the Saints this week,
and then they go on a buy.
I hate an early buy.
But whatever.
I'm kind of talking out of both sides of my mouth,
but that's what you do for your hometown team.
You know, it's like I'm glad that they're winning,
but I'm still worried.
It's almost like you're talking yourself into reasons why they shouldn't be 4-0,
but also you're happy that they're 4-0.
Exactly. Exactly.
Exactly.
It's trying to figure out the NFL, it can be absolutely wild.
I mean, that's why we watch.
That is absolutely why we watch.
And specifically in this group, when you rattle the teams off like that, Vikings, Niners, and Chiefs, I'm like, well, they're not the Niners of the Chiefs.
I mean, those teams are playing out of their minds.
Yeah, which one of those two has impressed you more?
I mean, both have been mighty impressive.
Both impressive for very different reasons.
I'll just stick on the offensive side for both real quick, which is, I know we, you,
We had a conversation about Kenneth Walker the third in jest a couple weeks ago.
I still don't think he's going to win an MVP.
But I also just think like the chiefs knew what they were doing when they paid that man.
They were like, we clearly needed this at this time to keep the rest of the offense imbalance.
And the fact that Mahomes is doing this coming off of an injured knee is shocking to me.
Travis Kelsey looks great.
I hate the injuries.
Typhon Thornton.
Like if you can be back by the playoffs, great for you.
if not, take care of that leg, dude.
So I think, and I'm also proud of the Raiders, we're playing them tough.
I think that division, frankly, all of a sudden, the AFC West has become more challenging than the NFC West.
Now, the Niners, my gosh, I think I would, I have more fun watching Niners games right now than I do Chiefs games, probably.
Like, Brock Purdy, that's the MVP now conversation starter for quarterback.
I mean, fantastic offensive.
line has half an hour every snap to make a decision. I mean, again, fingers with the injuries,
but like when it's good, man, it's good. Oh my gosh. So I'm all about the Niners right now.
Yeah, the Niners do look the part both sides of the ball, special teams as well, all three
phases clicking in San Fran. Speaking of San Fran, as a cowboy fan, I'm not supposed to say this
out loud, but I'm always been a big fan of their Unis. The Giants wore their 90s throwbacks.
this week, which I think is a much better look than their N-Y.
Yeah.
Off the top of your head, a couple of your favorite unies across the national football league.
Do you have any?
I do like the throwbacks.
Some teams do it more frequently than others, but they got to be special.
So when I see that creamsicle pop and I think the Buccaneers, I think only do that
once a year, that to me is just like classic 90s, like Super Bowl.
Just I love the creamsicle.
And it's like the pirate with the sword in his mouth.
Like that,
that to me is my favorite throwback of all the...
I think the fact they do it only once a year, too,
is what makes it so beautiful, you know?
Yep.
And I have a,
I have a creamsicle sweatshirt that the buck sent me
that has like the, it has like the sombrero,
the way the stadium used to look.
Like that,
that whole era,
because they commit to the era as a whole.
It's not just like the one off jersey look.
Yeah.
A couple others off the top of my head.
Not supposed to say it as well,
but Philly, the Kelly Green ones are such a good look.
Yeah, then like I said, the Giants' 90s throwbacks.
And then the Raiders, I've always thought.
Something just something classic cool about the silver and black that just close so well.
And I do like the old school Broncos one too, and they bring out the old horse logo.
Yeah, sure.
Sure with that polarizing.
Did you see that, did you speak into the Vikings, sorry?
Did you see that stat this week that was like the last team to win four games but not score an offensive touchdown in two of those games was like the 1923.
and 1924 Chicago Cardinals and then the 1934 Detroit Lions.
And the logos from those teams, talk about getting a tattoo.
I would get that like Chicago Cardinals tattoo on my arm.
That thing was fantastic.
Everybody should go look it up.
And then it's the 2026 Vikings.
Bicep tat.
And look at the stat pulling by Jamie.
That was a deep cut.
That was like the team's record on a Thursday when the weather's 75.
That's awesome.
By the way, the Falcons are 10 and 1 their last 11 Monday football games.
They look really good.
There's my point right there.
It's gracious, special.
Different breed.
Jamie, we're going to play a little superlative game.
What do you say?
Let's go.
We're four weeks into the season,
so we thought it was a good time to hand out some superlatives to teams and players.
Just like you get voted, most likely to succeed or class clown in high school.
We're going to look back and look ahead.
First up.
Question.
Yeah.
Before we proceed.
What were you voted as a superlative in high school?
Can you guess?
Two of them, I guess.
No, my friend Travis really, he was Batman.
I was Robin, but I thrived in the, yeah, class clown.
Also got best eyes, but that really felt like we're just like, that's like a 13th tier.
How big was the class?
Yeah, that's the thing is my class was about 88 kids.
So superlative, like best parking job in the student parking lot.
I think we had one of those.
It gets pretty crazy, you know.
I like the old school days, you know, where it was just no participation.
trophies. You had most athletic, smartest kid, and most likely to fail, you know, just keep it simple.
But yeah, what do you say? What was your superlative? I think I was most athletic. But again, class of
93, only half of them were girls. I don't think it was very hard. But yeah. I like how she, like,
acted like she might have forgot. I think it was most athletic. I like that, Jamie, humble.
It was either that or, like, most likely to skip class, but, you know, but that's where you and I have that in
common, you know, like we were the...
Are you saying I skipped class? You told me you were a bad student.
Okay, yeah, I did say that, didn't I? We high-fived over this. I thought we brought this.
We did. We actually high-fived over it, too. That's true. Did you go to Texas? No, I didn't.
Oh, no. Never admitted me in with my high school grades. Me neither. I was a terrible student, too.
Okay, first superlative coach most likely to be a fraud. I really didn't know where to go here.
You don't have to go too crazy. I know we went straight for the
neck right here. I actually went Dan Quinn, which I'm not out on Dan Quinn by any means. It's a special
situation going on in the nation's capital. But 18 and 20 now is Washington headman here in year
three. Went from 12 wins to five wins to we'll see where they land. But, you know, I think this is
kind of what have you done for me lately, fresh up the shalacking in London via the Colts. I went
Dan Quinn. Do you have still hope for Dan Quinn? Is this a situational thing? I feel like it's
a little unfair to pick at Dan Quinn, who I love.
You know, I feel like organizations, I want them to be honest with us and be like, do you just
need an adult in the room right now or are you trying to have a head coach? And do you
want the head coach to be your CEO type or do you need him to be like a group specialist?
But I, so I love Dan Quinn as a head coach and like I think he is an admirable man at the
job, no matter what team he's with. But like, I just don't know if some teams need that at the
time or do you need like an offensive guru and like is that what jaden daniels needs so i just
maybe it's just misaligned with what the quarterback needs but quarterback's got to be out there more in order
for us to really understand like what he needs so his health is but i also love the david blow hire
and speaking of i will answer this question as long as i can bend the rules which i feel like i always do
it this game um which i'm going to go coordinator and i'm going to go mike macdainiel okay because
I don't like
telling anybody a fraud, but
I'm going to call
whatever he's attempted to
do with this offense and with
what we always think is going to be an MVP
caliber quarterback fraudulent.
Like, I,
what is this Chargers
team? It was supposed to be like
this Kyle Brandt on GMFB
calls it like, we were supposed to be like a cop show
in L.A. and Harbaugh and McDaniel.
Like, they're so quirky and they wear khakis
and one wore sweatpants and cool sneakers.
And like, we got nothing.
It is just like, there's not a win.
There's not a highlight.
There's, Derwin James is not,
Derwin James is my favorite player in the NFL and he's not even playing.
Like, what are we doing here, Chargers?
So I'll go with McDaniel as to answer that first question.
But the word fraud is like, well, so aggressive.
It's strong.
It's strong.
Efford, strong fraud.
All caps too on our monitor here.
So it's like fraud, you know.
Like McDaniel, I like he was a person.
But you're right.
In L.A., it's almost like they went and got a sports car without checking.
in the Carfax and all of a sudden they thought they had this high dollar sports car but turns out it's
got 90,000 miles on it and you know it's taking a couple door dinks. You get my point.
Nowology game struggling a little bit. So up two hours of sleep. Next, team most likely to turn it around.
Could go June bugs here, but I don't believe in them. I'm going to go Broncos. I still very much
believe in that defense. Schedule lightens up a tad after the gauntlet that they just went through
chiefs, Jags, Rams, Niners. I mean, as tough of a schedule through four weeks as you'll
see in the NFL. They hosted the AFC title game for a reason last year in a mile high.
I don't think anybody's pressing the panic button on the Denver Broncos, but I'm just reiterating
that even at two and two, I really like the Broncos going forward. I want to say the Falcons,
but that's like the easiest answer ever because look at them. They are ridiculous.
Preach. Who is on this show on record? I have used them as my example of like this is my, what is
this team. I'm pretty sure that was like my strange candy that I was eating that day. And I was
like, couldn't figure out what it was. Sweet tarts, gummy halos, Atlanta Falcons. What are you?
What are you going to get Kyle Pitts going? Who are you on defense? Is that the right spot for
Kevin Savansky? What is going on in quarterback? These are not that good. What was the quarterback
room? What were all these injuries? What is Kevin Savanski doing? And it's just like,
oh, the Atlanta Falcons are so fun to watch now. Michael Penning, Jr. has fully unlocked
Mijon Robinson. Brian Robinson Jr. It's like the Robinson family.
running back show. It's fantastic.
And I just want to keep watching the Falcons play.
And so I'm going to take them as my team to turn things around, even though it's like the
laziest answer ever because they won two games straight.
Right. Not only they win, they won at Lambo and at the Superdome too.
Beat them at Green Bay.
Those are too tough. Beat them at New Orleans. Beat them. And now they got to host the,
don't tell me the Ravens on Sunday high football.
Just thinking of this, there's no way they're going to throw two out there anytime soon,
right? You have this thing rolling with with Pinnock's.
super efficient, yeah.
No.
Enough said.
Don't, just don't even mess with the juju.
Don't.
It's like, no.
It's rolling right now.
Yeah.
Bad question.
I'll take that as a bad question.
That was just a bad question.
My God, I didn't even thought.
Michael Pennock Jr.'s playing so well.
Like, I hadn't even thought.
I forgot too it was on the team.
Imagine coming home on a flight a couple weeks ago on the Thursday night game in Lambo.
And as we're taking off, he threw the pick on the opening drive they had.
We then lose Wi-Fi.
when we landed, the game was in the fourth quarter.
I mean, the gasp on the airplane.
When we were like, oh, my gosh, how did that transpire?
But yeah, they've got it rolling there in the ATL.
How are planes still losing Wi-Fi, is my question.
Yeah, that's a good rant.
What are we're so advanced.
We were like on the verge of an AI doom last week, it felt like,
and we still can't get consistent Wi-Fi up there.
Like, let's go.
It still takes a little over three hours to get to L.A., you know, same amount of time it took in the 70s.
I went around in the 70s, but I'm just saying, I am.
And like, I still, I never, I see it on the back end, like you're going to Disney and I don't get the phone call.
Like, what are we doing?
No, they're hitting lost in the memes. I'm hitting you up, but you're, yeah.
I see.
When I tell you this, this woman's algorithm is some kind of crazy, like imagine a ball pit at Chuckie Cheese with like eight kids who have drank nothing.
but Kool-Aid all day. It's crazy. It doesn't make sense to me, but it's cool.
Yes, it does because your probably looks the same, but it's all cowboy stuff.
But now I'm getting flooded with Vikings stuff. And I'm trying to convince my Instagram,
I'm not a Vikings fan, but I am a supporter of Jamie. I'm like yelling at it. I'm like,
I'm not a Vikings fan. More Prescott, please. I'm getting all these different hype videos.
Team with Biggest, I owe you an apology. I went Falcons here. I was, we're in the same.
thought process. I very much piggybacked your candy take when it was like, you know, what are
the Atlanta Falcons? But a 21 point victory on Monday night in Nola. What a statement by the
dirty birds who are now two and two. And as I said, Pinnix Jr. super efficient. And so you put
them on national TV. They're a problem, I guess. That's the secret ingredient. And they got one
more week to go. Biggest I owe you an apology team. I'll say it with a clenched jaw, but it will be
the Chicago Bears.
I didn't have them in the playoffs.
Ben Johnson, I knew about you,
but I was not familiar with your game
and your game being petty,
which is to trot Case Keenham out
for a single snap,
not even a pass play.
The man has the audacity
to have Tyson Baygent out at the X
to have Case Keenum under center
to run a run to run a run play,
get benched for the rest of the game,
just for the 38-year-old,
I think, to get the win
Tyson, Bejan plays the rest of the game,
all because the coach hears the chatter
and the insiders are saying that guaranteed Tyson Bege is going to start.
He's so crazy.
But then also in the flip, Dennis Allen, the defense,
the defense was supposed to be bad.
That was supposed to be the weak point.
But the Bears' defense looks great.
So I owe you an apology, Bears,
and I'm sorry that I was just distracted by the team to the north.
That's undefeated.
Sometimes I think Ben Johnson is just playing Madden up in Chicago
with the fun stuff he's doing.
That's what I do on Madden at 2 a.m.
You know, I'm like, yeah, you know what?
The old, like, shovel pass to reverse flea flicker sounds fun right here.
Yeah, and he makes it work.
He makes it work.
That's a really good one.
Biggest main character energy.
I went Scott Hansen because I feel like Scott's been doing it so long with Red Zone
that now he's underappreciated, where at first it was everybody's like,
man, this Scott Hansen guy's really cool, which he is, of course.
But don't sleep on my guy, Scott, who, even as a wily veteran, feels like he is just giving us
his best snaps on Sunday.
Main character energy,
Tetaroa McMillan,
the reigning offensive
rookie of the year. I would give it to
Bryce Young, but I feel like
answering quarterback, quarterback, quarterback for all these
questions, I just, you got to
look at the wide receivers, period,
had a day on Sunday. Like, we already
talked about CD, Tet looked great.
I mean, guys
were playing fantastic.
And so I'm going to go to Teteroa
McMillan for main character energy. I just like
vibe. I like what the Panthers have going on.
I do you.
Football.
It's all good.
I pick the Panthers to win the South and now the Falcons are common.
Like I just like when the division says like, no, we're interesting and we're competitive.
And Tetero McMillan is given that.
Especially one that was like talked down on.
They had their little expectations, but they're outperforming themselves.
Yeah, good football right now in that division.
It's spoken to in a condescending tone.
Like I feel like that's all it's ever been with the NFC South in the last like five years.
So hey, they're they're proving us wrong and I love it.
Mm-hmm, which you don't appreciate the condescending stuff.
Despise it.
Most likely to make Sparky say, I told you so.
I actually, before the season was kind of talking up the Philly Eagle downfall,
I thought the pieces around Jalen, once you pay the quarterback, you know,
things kind of get a little weird in the microscope.
Me and you, by the way, had as many third-down conversions as the Eagles on Sunday,
oh for 12.
Not a stat they like.
But that impatient Philly fan base, they don't, they don't,
like to wait.
Still have yet to score more than 24 points in a game this season,
the Philly Eagles.
I'm loving it.
That was awesome how the Cowboys finished off their game-winning drive
and held the Texans, got the dub,
and instantly Philly lost at the same time.
It was just like, ah.
Did you put this question in because you wanted to denigrate the Eagles?
Oh, yeah, for sure, of course.
It's like, hey, give me a soft toss so I can hit it out of the park.
Yes, yeah, just exactly.
I'll bend the rules again.
Because I can't like all of your takes, you've been like, you don't really, you're not really like, and I told you so guy.
Now your buddy that's normally here on Wednesdays, he does give off.
I told you so energy.
And I'm going to speak to him as if he's in the room.
Garrett said the giants were going to look good and that the giants were going to be competitive in the NFC East.
I sat there on that couch and I looked at him and I was like, what?
You're crazy.
And now he's right.
So here we are. Garrett, you were right. That is the, I told you so team right now as of October, whatever it is. So maybe you should get that tattooed that here the Giants are.
Yeah, like he starts doing that predictions like that. I'm going to go get one. I'm telling you, look up that Chicago Cardinals 1923 logo. It is fine.
It must be really good if you're willing to throw a Chicago Cardinals logo on your bicep. It's insane. Winning team most likely to keep winning. You kind of touched some of.
I'm listening the shades on me in this room.
Wow.
That's your time.
Wow.
You're getting kicked out at the NFL's facility.
They're playing you off at the Oscars.
Like, hey, we've got some bad Eps in here, but they've never, like, turned the lights out on the podcast or cut my mic off.
That might be a tell-tale sign, Jamie.
The lighting is better now.
Let's be honest.
Okay, let's do it again.
Coaching the flag football team pays well.
So that's what you're about to be doing full time there.
Where were we? Winning team most likely to keep winning. You touched on them earlier. The Chicago Bears. I think it's very impressive. I think it's a telltale sign of a really good football team that you can throw a 67-year-old Case Keenham in there, turn around, get Bayje it back in the lineup, and just keep winning. I think they're set up before January and beyond. And it wouldn't surprise me if the road to the Super Bowl through the NFC went through the Windy City.
Wow, that would be fun, wouldn't it?
Well, unless you got to play there as a road team.
Yeah, right. That wouldn't be that fun.
I'm thinking about all the teams that won on Sunday that I would like to see keep their winning ways.
I like the fact that the Seahawks got back on track.
That lost to the commanders was strange, but also like fly across country, Sam Darnold back in action for the first time.
So I'll go with the Seahawks for now.
I think Mike McDonnell, like they're just a competent team.
And they play in a great division.
And I'm looking really, really forward to when the 49ers.
to play the Seahawks because that will be like a true definition of what's going on there.
Yeah, Battle of the West Coast there.
Most likely to be traded.
I went Tony Pollard here feels a la, it's situational.
It feels a la Breeze Hall last year with the Jets, though he didn't get moved.
Tony Pollard in the last year of his lucrative deal, you know, running back,
obviously the Titans don't look to be going anywhere too soon.
So it feels like Tony Pollard could be on the move.
I think that when's the deadline, November, mid-November?
Usually, November 10th.
November 10th, okay.
November 10th.
What's your birthday, by the way?
Just curious.
Yeah.
December 3rd.
December 3rd.
You thought on that for a while.
I was going to do something which was like, don't I give off Sagittarius energy?
But that's like such a dumb question.
So I just answered it, honestly.
I don't know the planet stuff.
Yeah.
I'm not into that.
Yeah.
When's your birthday?
March 26.
What does that mean?
make me a Saturn that
a Saturn without the rings
oh no
Saturn without the rings
I was going to let you calling it
planet slide the first time because I
assumed you were going to say like
Aries or like something with them when you actually went
with the planet reference
now I don't know if you're being serious or not
astrology is not Sparky's strongest suit
I am in Aries though
and proud.
You know that.
Well, we had our guy look it up, Brendan, looked it up and put it on the screen for me, which was nice.
Let me look something up.
Aries, okay, this, okay, this makes a lot of sense.
I'm like a B-plus astrology person.
I believe in most of it, but I'm not like, oh, you're this and you flare two moons to the right.
I'm none of that.
You're not like Aaron Rogers or Kyrie Irving.
No, no, no.
It's a little scale back from that.
There is something that I do believe in, which is the fact.
fact that I'm a Sagittarius and that's a fire sign. You are in Aries and that's also a fire
sign, which means we, this is why we get along so well, but it's also means that like why we can
bicker, but also be friends, which I feel like is what we have going on here. Does that mean our
first beef, though, when we have our first friend argument or fight? Will that be two fires going
at it feels like? No, because I'm married to a fellow Sagittarius and so we are, we, we, we call each
We call it shows the Bickersons.
Like, we just constantly are,
da-da-da-da-da-da.
And so,
that's good.
No, I just think you,
but I think also the fire signs are like,
you,
I don't know,
do you have the ability to just kind of like move on?
Because, like,
I'll just do that.
Oh,
I have the ability to have a little extinguisher to me too.
Not just all flame.
But you'll see,
like when the Vikings lose,
I may be that,
you know,
come with the fire host.
This is all very good to know for Sparky.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's all in love, you know.
It's all in love.
But it's important stuff to know,
No.
It is.
Most importantly, not the planets.
Not the planets.
Do you drive a Saturn?
Thankfully, he doesn't.
Without heat, it's heat.
Rest and peace, Saturn.
Yes, gracious.
Last one.
What was the question?
I was just going to skip it for you.
Most likely to be traded.
I thought you were going to say your five-year-old daughter who plays for the Eagles,
because that's the easy answer.
Why do you keep wanting to trade my daughter?
It's a tough look.
I mean, you need to, I don't want to tell you how to race your kids,
but Philly Eagles and stuff.
The fact that no one in this Orange County flag football league
picks the Cowboys as their team.
So what does that tell you?
That's like paying homage.
That's like, hey, this is, this is, you know,
you have to earn that.
Five-year-old zone deserve to be in Cowboy Jersey.
I don't think she really cares what version of this jersey she's wearing
as long as her socks are pink.
Her mouthguards pink and her bow is pink.
And she's getting targets.
Cary's.
There you go.
We're not throwing the ball right now.
No, we're just doing run play.
We're doing X.
We're doing jet sweep.
We're doing.
We're not to four verticals or mesh concept yet.
No, not yet.
Not yet.
That's your install coming in a couple weeks.
Yeah, exactly.
Last one, put some respect on their name.
I went Will Riker for MVP, 12-12 on the year.
Jason Myers actually broke the scoring record in 2025 with over 200 points.
I think it was 206 for the Seahawks.
So what better way to have a new ringleader in the point record?
It's great.
I feel like you're baiting me a little bit by saying a Viking,
kicker is going to be MVP, but well, I'm going to put that aside. I'm not going to take the bait on
that. Do you go Brandon Aubrey here? I was not going to do that. I was going to go Kirk Cousins.
Yeah. I have a complicated fandom relationship, friendship with Kirk Cousins, because in a, in a not nice way,
in a satirical way, I used to call him statistical king, like, oh, it's so great, he's top five this,
top five that, but he just never got us over the hump. But I've gotten to know him more over the years and
like he's just such a good guy and like he's kind of showing some tenacity and some um he's like got
some tough some grit to him and i love watching him play and so forgive me kirk cousins like i was not
familiar with your raider style game and i know they lost but i think they really showed us something
so i'll go kirk cousins yeah no forgiveness needed it i'm with you even despite the ale just the fact
they went toe to toe with him for four quarters show me something and he was getting hit he's a tough
Tough cookie.
I'll tell you what, he'll stand in the pocket and take one.
I don't know if anybody did better for themselves on the quarterback series than Kurt Cousins.
He came very likable.
We're not having a Fernando Mendoza conversation, which is like, I think everybody was expecting
that.
And we're just like, what, who?
Kirk Cousins is the guy.
If they did an NFL network series like that, do you think people would really like,
like Jamie Erdall?
What?
Like behind the scenes.
I was saying if you were like on a Netflix thing, like quarterback,
you know, when you got to find out.
that like Kirk Cousins, a wife is dressing him.
And he's just, I don't know, he became way more likable.
Do you think the average person would be like, oh, Jamie's super relatable and likable?
Or are they going to be like, oh, wait?
I mean, I would hope so that I'd be likable and relatable.
But, no, I think people would be more surprised that, like, at what time the alarm clock really does go off at.
I think people would be surprised.
Let the people know.
Let's fill the people in on what time you set your lawn.
25.
That is like, that's non-constitutional.
255.
Monday through Friday.
I wouldn't wish that.
Not 52 weeks out of the year I am allowed to take vacation.
But like, yeah, in this regular one, like when September 1st hits and the season starts,
every day, 255, it doesn't let up.
I think people would be surprised at like the hair and makeup part of the TV process.
Like, man, I sit down in that chair and they're, these people are professionals.
I mean, we live adjacent to Hollywood for crying out loud.
And I'm just like, I don't care.
You guys do what you need to do.
Like I'm like a, I'm like a bar.
I'm like a dress me bar.
be out there.
Like, I'm just, whatever.
Do the hair, do the makeup.
I do not care.
I do not have an opinion.
And just roll me out there so I can talk about football.
I'm not to the dress me stage yet, Jared.
We need to work on that.
If you're ever down to do my hair and makeup.
Think about the viewership we're missing out on.
If I did a little hair and makeup.
We're a little light with the glam squad funding currently.
Okay.
Well, budget issues over here.
I'll help out with that when I come in to Texas next.
Yeah, you can do sparkies and makeup.
Yeah.
You do come off.
You just a little pal.
Yeah, just a little pal.
we're fresh off dressing as pirates a couple weeks ago and I have the utmost respect for y'all.
It's just like an overtime themed episode. Shout out to the viewers who get a little tidbit of what
we've been filming main channel wise. That video is coming out in a couple weeks. But it's a full
pirate themed overtime and our art team had like eye shadow on in everything for the pirate stuff.
And when I say like three showers later the next day going to the airport, I'm like, I still have
eye shadow on it. It made me respect y'all's game. I didn't realize that stuff just like stays on you forever.
What are you washing your, what are you sharring with?
Like, Irish spring soap?
Like, you need, like, specialty makeup, moving.
The nine and one.
The toothpaste, conditioner.
The nine and one.
The nine and one.
You haven't heard of this?
You can even, like, it works as 5W20.
You can do oil change.
You can do oil change.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
Bless your soul.
Thank you.
I'm just a Saturn.
I'm just a Saturn.
Don't pick on me.
Thank you, as always, Jamie.
how to SOFI for us.
We'll see you next week.
We'll be right back with Tyler and Jackson
to take you behind the scenes of our Rocket League video
and to get Jackson's book report.
That and more, Almost Athletes.
I can't believe it finally happened, Sparky.
What's that, G? You managed to make it through the weekend
without yelling at any breaths?
No, I actually didn't even try to do that.
The best thing that happened was that I finally found
the perfect family car, the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica.
And get this, it's NS.
FW. It's not suitable for work? Nope, it's actually very suitable for work. And for my kids, because
it has numerous safety features within. Oh, safety features are great, but what about the
mess the kids leave? Everyone knows you're a little bit of a neat freak. That's the best part.
It's got amazing safety features and a Stoan Vak built right in to clean up the mess as soon as
it happens. It really does have it all. Cody took me for a test drive last week, and I got to be
honest, that is the first time I've ever felt safe in a car with Jones. I love the Pacifica Sto and
go seating and storage systems. I know. It's great for when I need to fit the whole family on a
road trip. There's still enough space to separate the kids when they start acting up. And I can
flatten the seats to fit all the kids gear in the car. It creates so much space. I sometimes
offer to take the refs gear too. Yeah, right. Check out the newly designed Chrysler, Pacifica at
Chrysler.com today.
Welcome back to Almost Athletes.
Happy to be joined by Intern Jackson and Tyler.
We just came out with a new video,
main channel release, Rocket League.
Before we jump into the video,
watch that on YouTube, by the way,
and the BTS version on Dude Perfect Plus,
both really well done.
But before we do that,
or watching on our brand new app.
Oh, you know what I mean?
Good plug, Gare.
Before we get to that, though,
we got business to get to, buddy.
And by business, I mean book report.
You read the book?
First of all, how'd you enjoy it?
It was good.
It was a good book.
good read. Well, let's tell the viewers
what he had to do. So Jared
assigned me to do a book report
because I said that I haven't read
read since
6th grade.
Hadn't spoke much either.
So yeah, I
read this book over the weekend.
You read it? I read it over the weekend.
It was a good read. Probably
not for my age
group. Is it a little bit older?
To advance? To advance for you?
Two scholarly?
Two scholarly?
Maybe.
It could be, maybe.
But, I mean, it was a good read.
I'd recommend it to our younger DP fans.
Dude, how?
First of all, where did you read this?
Tell me you were like in the car, not in the college station.
I'm, sorry, bro.
I'm reading here and you can whip out of book.
It was a semi-tuff look because I read it in the car on the way to Vid Summit this weekend.
And then I also read it at my friend's house.
So how long of a read you think?
Well, it was two.
250 pages, so.
And it's not like, I thought
was going to be like a picture book.
It's not like a picture book. It's like, it actually
has words everywhere.
It's got picks though, too.
You're obviously not even showing the camera.
But yeah.
It's a lot of words.
It's like 190 though pagewise.
You do get some pages that have some.
I mean, but you know, it's,
do you know how to read that word?
That's his famous cologne.
Okay, I didn't know if you knew how to say cologne.
Okay, good.
Jackson, your assignment was to come up with the plot summary.
Explain the beginning, main conflict, and ending in your own words.
You were also supposed to identify the primary moral lesson of the book.
You're supposed to have a cover page, draw your favorite scene, and conclusions.
Did you enjoy it?
Rate the book, recommend it.
So let's start with the plot summary.
I would also like you to work in some prepositions and some adjectives and adverbs.
Okay.
So, in action verbs.
Show this off, dude.
This is great.
This is...
Where'd you get that paper?
No way that was at your house.
No, it was upstairs.
I got it upstairs.
I mean, this guy actually...
Supply closet.
I actually am very impressed right now with...
I have no idea if that's just gibberish on the page, but...
And you legit read the whole thing.
Yes.
There was no, like...
What was that website we used to use back in the day?
Spark notes.
No, there are no spark notes about this book, believe it or not.
Really?
Yeah.
No AI summaries.
I was about to ask.
Did you get AI in it?
I don't know.
You just probably say...
say AI summarize the Dude Perfect Panda Match Day Mayhem book for me.
There was, unfortunately.
You did do that?
No, no, no, there was no.
Because Corey and Kobe tried to do it before me.
Okay.
You got to upload the book in it for it to get knowledge to do it.
It's almost more work to try and get it summarized on Chad GBT
because you have to take pictures of every single book page.
Plot summary.
Okay, plot summary.
Is this a spoiler alert?
Yeah, yeah, there's going to be spoilers.
I just wanted to make sure for the listeners, spoiler alert.
Okay.
in the beginning, the story begins with the dudes.
They're in eighth grade, and they have an
enormous opportunity. I like that. Taking a page out of the
Bible for your book report. That's nice.
Yeah, it's really good start.
They have an enormous opportunity to perform
at a soccer match in London.
This is important because it's their international
debut. Okay.
But once they arrive, the discovery
is that there's something bigger happening
at the stadium.
An antique jewel
trophy has been stolen that immediately
threatens this soccer match. The organizing
are considering canceling the match.
And so the dude's mission, it changes.
They have to help figure out who stole the trophy
and how to save the match.
So the external conflict is...
Is you posit there?
Is that literally what the back of the book says?
I just want to read the back of the book.
Is it verbatim?
I just want to read the back of the book
and let's just,
Jackson just had his turn?
I just want to...
In the second book in the dude perfect
in the sports mystery series,
the eighth grade dudes are invited
to perform a trick show
at the London soccer exhibition.
As part of the event, the stadiums is playing a jeweled trophy.
When the trophy is stolen, the organizers are considering canceling the game.
But dude, perfect, can't let that happen.
The guys follow clues, interview suspects, and practice trick shots.
Can the dude solve the crime and save the game?
There's like a lot of overlap from over here.
Yeah, that's shockingly similar to what Jackson's got written on his career.
So the dudes have to investigate their mystery.
Yep, it says it.
They have to interview suspects.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
So the second conflict is that the players start to get sick.
Now there's not enough players to start the match.
That's where the dudes take their place.
So the primary moral, the primary moral lesson here is that the obvious moral is teamwork.
But there's a deeper lesson.
You can't always control the circumstances you're put into, but you can control how you respond to them.
The dudes don't go to London expecting to solve a crime.
or playing an important soccer match.
But their playing gets destroyed, they adapt,
they take responsibility.
Our plane got destroyed?
We skipped a level there.
Their plane got destroyed.
Oh, plan.
I thought I heard plane too and I was like, no, no, no, no, sorry.
That was a fiery plane crash and survived?
That didn't make the plot summary?
They use each person's strength and work together.
The conflict is resolved when the dudes work together to uncover what happened to the
stolen trophy and prevent the soccer match from being canceled.
When the players get sick, the dudes step in to take.
their place on the field. By using their individual strengths, working as a team, and following
clues, they are able to overcome the problems that threaten the match. Wow. Long-winded. I couldn't
just read the book, but... Did I scorny goals? Um, yeah. I do? No, you didn't. What? For sure? No,
you didn't. Am I goalie or something? Uh, so, what's next? Jack, did I score any goals? No.
Well, wait a minute. I mean... I have the picture. You have even deeper meaning behind... I like
how you, like, gave us the regular moral lesson, but then you went to even a deeper place.
How does the book end? They find the trophy with Panda, and then they play the soccer match,
and they do great. Yeah, but they can't be how it ends. Well, I mean, that's how a normal
conflict of a book, though, is the surprising action is the book stole it? How is like the book in, though?
Like, there's a cliffhanger? No. Really? It's a good ending. It is? Yeah. Are you reading it
right now? I mean, it looks like there's a cliffhanger.
Is there?
Yeah, dude.
You didn't...
You didn't read the book.
Yes, I did.
I'm not convinced.
A short burst of static punctured the call, followed by silence.
Panda waited until the static subsided, and Anya got back on.
Sorry about that.
Mission Center called with our next assignment.
They have another case for dude, perfect.
Where are we headed?
Probably to Africa or something.
It's sadden in a book!
This time the guys are headed to Japan.
Something fishy is happening in the baseball league.
That's so interesting.
Dude, you didn't even read.
I didn't even read the book.
Okay, do you want to go over my...
No, no, I don't believe anything you said.
Bro.
It feels fabricated.
Okay, look, this is my favorite part.
Do you pay somebody to write it?
Like, how did you get this book report?
What do you mean, bro?
You didn't even know we had another mission going to Japan.
Maybe I didn't read the last page.
But I read most of the book.
How are you going to give a book report on the conclusion
if you don't read the last page?
When did you never read the end of Harry Potter?
I've never read Harry Potter
That's the point
Cover page
Go ahead and just show us your favorite scene
Okay so this is this is
Yeah
And describe
Why is my facial expression
Just kind of blah
Well hold on what were you going for
What were you going for?
Describe the scene
Okay so
I picked the scene because
I think it resonates
When the story
When the actual story comes together
Whenever there is a missing trophy
There's a missing trophy
the players are sick
they go for their international debut
doing trick shots and whatnot
which by the way I didn't know
that y'all were like
had motion like that in eighth grade
y'all were going to London
and had international debuts like that
I didn't know that you lied about reading books
but we're finding out all kinds of stuff on this pod
so they end up going to London
to perform and then things went wrong
and y'all took responsibility
they really stepped in
and that meant a lot to me that's why I chose
that section of the book to draw
so what did you really draw
responsibility
it's hard to draw five dudes all sharing emotions and like
I kind of just drew the pitch the missing trophy and then five dudes
it's crazy if I only read the back of the book
I'm pretty sure that's the cover page what like my book report would look like
yeah all right Jackson conclusions did you enjoy it write the book
I think it's I think it's you know whatever pages you read obviously not the last
one. So go ahead and rate the ones that you did read.
I think it's a good read for the younger fans.
What do you mean younger fans?
Because it's not necessarily my
age group. Why?
That's because you don't read. You're not a leader.
I am a
I've read plenty of books to my kids
that I'm just like, I thoroughly enjoy.
If I have a kid, that's a dude perfect fan, I would
absolutely read that book. Would you read Harry Potter?
No. Why? Well,
because I'm just not interested in like
the fictional type things.
Oh, so you don't think they're capable of going to London
in representing their country in international duty?
Wow.
No, he was asked about Harry Potter.
I don't think that you can fly around.
Well, Jackson, you know, I don't really picture you as a nonfiction guy either.
That's what's crazy.
I am a fair, I'm a fair and just teacher here.
I do think there was at least a little effort put into writing,
even if you're copying verbatim what the back of the book says.
You still have to write it down.
Also, it's like you got a bugger in the...
That's a bug for sure.
to last page.
We'll have to draw a photo.
So I'm going to give you,
I'm going to give you a C minus.
You're passing.
You're passing.
But barely.
And that's because the effort was shown.
You could have just not shown up with anything.
Yeah.
That's fair.
Definitely could have came empty-handed.
But I honestly think what he came with was worse than being empty-handed.
Really?
It's an F for me.
Wow.
It's an F.
What do you think, Ty?
I had no idea we were going to Japan either.
That's cool.
That's new news to me.
Um, this is a tough one.
I just, um...
I could have read it to you.
You just had to ask me.
I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say like a 76, like barely a C plus, barely.
I'm happy with that.
Really?
That's another problem.
You're happy with that.
It's a problem.
It's, yeah.
You don't want to be happy with us.
You don't want to be happy with them.
You'll accept it and you'll get better.
I think y'all could easily give them an F.
Well, spark you did.
Well, y'all didn't.
All right, this is your moment.
Now that we gave you your grade, can't take it back.
Did you read the book?
No.
Okay.
I knew it.
I knew it.
I was thinking, man, he doesn't even reel when he's in the car sometimes.
Book?
Hardcover.
In VidSum, it was like five minutes away.
It was dirty.
It was dirty.
I did read the first three pages, and then I was like, yeah, I can't do this.
All he had to do is read the last page.
Can I change my grade?
Yeah, absolutely.
What's worse than an F?
100%.
Zero?
No.
I'm giving a zero.
NC, no credit.
No credit.
Here's the deal, Jacks.
You know, there's a lot of lessons.
Here's my book report on your just overall 13 minutes on this pod.
You know, there's like a plot.
The plot is, it gave you an assignment.
You decided to lie about the assignment.
Tell your bosses, you know, actually make up a lot of lies to it.
You talked about how you used the beginning of the Bible to start his book report.
You actually talked about how it was embarrassing for you to drive in a car with somebody and read the book and how you took some time.
You actually made it kind of crazy.
Then at the end of day, you continue to go down that lie, you got your grade, and then the conclusion was that you failed, and then we asked you to be honest, and you were.
So I got to give you a little bit of...
And it is actually on Chad GBT, so...
Oh, you lied about that too.
You lied about that, too.
So Jackson...
So basically, moral of the story is Jackson's a liar.
That's the moral of the story.
So, Jackson, how do you expect kids listening to this pod?
What do you, after listening to the back, what do you feel about yourself?
I mean, obviously, don't feel great, but I do think that you can get by.
You saw I got by with a C.
That'll do it for Jackson's time on the pod.
What a lesson to land.
Golly, dude.
You cut the right corners.
You can get by.
I mean, holy gal.
Jackson, I have a question.
So you came in earlier today and we asked you if you did the book report and you said, yeah, I just have to print it out.
But everything is handwritten.
So did you just do all of that.
I asked him to handwrite it because I did not want him to just copy and paste chat GPT.
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't know he took it from chat.
I did handwrite it.
It's a learning experience.
Yeah.
To be fair, we had to do AR points in high school or in middle school.
And you had to get a certain amount of, you know, one book would be eight points.
Well, I had a classmate sign off on my AR minutes that I read.
Ate me up, man.
Wow, we're just coming clean.
Well, here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
Here's the deal, Jackson.
Unfortunately for you, it only gets worse from here, okay?
Great.
Because now we gave you one reading assignment of reading a Dude Perfect Pandem match day,
ma'am.
But now I'm going to go ask you to give me a book report on the Dude Perfect employee handbook.
Oh.
And this one, you're going to have to read.
And that's going to be a real tough read.
But I want a book report handwritten, by the way, so don't be putting that in the air.
I got to come clean.
I got to come clean, dude.
In eighth grade, I was supposed to read White Fang, and I had like three weeks to do it, and I didn't.
And then I had to show up and take the test.
Thankfully, I'm a really good test taker, and I made an 89 for a book that I never read.
You're not alone, Jackson, that shows you.
Does that feel good, though?
Get it off your chest.
It feels good.
I feel better about it.
He'd been holding on to that one for a long time, Gary.
White Fang.
I bet it's a great book, too.
It's about wolves.
totally read this. It's about wolves, and I didn't read it, but I'm a good test taker.
When it comes to schoolwork, no, I did all of it, dude. I never lied or whatever. I too much.
Now, have I not? I've obviously lied about other things, just not schoolwork.
Like what? Like just a lot of things. Just like how athletic I am. I'm, I didn't average
30 points a game in high school day. No, I do that. Yeah, but no, hey, it's cool, dude. I'm glad you
actually came clean though. You could have chosen.
Yeah. I knew. I had already
talked to Corey about it. I was like, dude.
He could have chosen not to be clean about that. I didn't read the book at all.
I'm going to tell them. I'm going to come.
Well, you said you read 30 pages. So three.
He said three. He said three. I read the first three and I was like, yeah.
Three. Three. He did say three.
But, okay. Did you at least read three or is this a time to be honest about that?
No, no. I actually, I was in the car. I read three and I was like.
Now you said it three words in the beginning.
Okay. That's enough book report.
let's talk about
let's talk about our latest video
you were also
in this video
is it right here
this is it
this is it
rocket league
have you watched this video
no I have watched this video
it was a good video
I have not watched this video
though
and I got eliminated real quick
super fun video
broke it up
3B3 teams
by the way
fantastic intro dude
yeah
spoiler alert
for those at home
who haven't watched
the video
go check it out
not our first time
playing go cart soccer
of course was a fan favorite on the squad games tour,
but that wasn't even the first time
we mixed it up with the GoCarts.
I see on the teleprompter
The Dude Perfect TV show,
do you'll play a little GoCart Soccer?
We did.
On the show days?
Cody almost killed me.
Oh yeah, back in the...
Do we have a clip of that?
The TV show days, it's all Paramount licensed.
Oh, okay, no, we don't.
But, yes, we did some kind of...
Jared was there for that.
We did some kind of crazy stuff on the TV show.
But the GoCart Soccer was one of my favorite days.
Was that the first...
time you guys played it? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Did y'all know about Rocket League then? No,
Rocket League wasn't a thing. That's my question was that we played go-kart soccer, but was it
like, like Rocket League started in like 2015, I think. I think Rocket League was a thing when we did it.
It was just. Was it? Yeah. It was just, it was not as popular as it was now. For sure. Yeah. Let me
fact check that. Because the alpha of Rocket League came out in like 2015.
It was 2015. Yeah, 2015. But I don't feel like we, we didn't design that
game because of the video game. We just thought it would be fun to play GoCard Soccer.
Jacks, how important was it for... Yeah, it was 2016 when we did the TV show.
So Rockett League was a commodity? Jackson, how important was it for you guys to win this team battle?
Because obviously, for people that watched the video, I was on the losing end and got voted off the
island. Do you think you would have been voted off the island if you all were lost?
Sure. You do? Yeah, I was the first one off. You're the first ballot Hall of Famer getting voted off?
Yeah, so I was like, dang, we cannot lose this video or we can't lose this. Yeah.
because I'm going to get voted off instantly.
And so then the next battle was golf.
Golf, yes.
And then you guys, you know, decided to team upon the tall guy.
That's what strategy came into play.
Yeah.
So I didn't know that Ty had teamed up to stop Cody.
Yeah, you're lying again.
No, I didn't know.
I genuinely didn't know.
I knew that me and Corey, I was like, hey, Corey, do you mind helping me out a little bit?
And he was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll see.
and so I go and hit Cody's ball
and then whenever I go up to the hole
I see you like bush camping and I was like
dude let's go Ty's help with me
but I mean I wouldn't
obviously wouldn't have been able to do it without Ty's help
but yeah Ty's smart when it comes to that
he helps the weakest link because he knows when it matters
in the final he can beat
oh that was all set up yeah yeah I mean it's a set up job
also I don't know why you can see it I get my ball
over here close to the hole and leave it
no no you're smart well but I don't know why Cody and Corey
didn't come and just smack mine away from the hole.
And keep in mind, the original plan for this battle was nobody could touch anyone else's ball
unless it was just completely inadvertent cart touch.
Cody is the one who was like, dude, we got to spice it up.
You should be able to play defense and make it fun and like do all this other stuff.
But this Jackson's right by your ball and still not touching you.
I know, that's what I'm saying.
Wait, why didn't anybody touch your ball?
That's what I'm saying.
Look, they could have just could have smacked it away and they didn't.
So Cody ended up breaking you.
his own rule on hole number one.
So then we made it that once your ball is in the hole,
then you can't touch anyone else.
And that's where Cody failed victim on the first hole,
got the 15 second penalty.
Did y'all realize how mad he was?
I think you did.
Yeah, he called me after.
I'm not mad.
I'm just disappointed.
Because I called Cody just to check on him.
He handled it like a pro.
Yeah.
In fact, I was telling him,
hey, dude, there was a target on your back
because you're that much of a threat,
just trying to talk them up, you know?
But Cody got sabotaged to the point
where he called Tyler on the way home from this shoot,
just to air it out.
He wasn't even mad.
He was just sad.
He was sad because this was like his favorite video idea of all time.
You invented this rule of like play defense and spice it up,
but then he was mad about it when it happened.
Don't poke the bear if you don't want the claws coming back at you.
Yeah.
But long story short, Cody made a long drive home.
And then we went to the ice turned back into a little 2V2.
You had to be licking your chops.
Yeah, that was fun.
When you get two twins on the ice.
Yeah, but.
two twins on the ice, but I had a Jackson
on my team too, which...
Bro, I mean, I had two assists
and two goals.
Yeah, and I also set you up with some absolute
buttes that you just whiffed on.
That one I did miss that one.
It looked like a runaway affair at first.
Y'all took a three-nothing lead,
and all of a sudden the twins fought back a little bit.
Well, the go-karts on the ice is tricky
because as soon as you get a little urgency
and you press the gas pedal a little too hard,
you start spinning out and you lose all control
and you go nowhere.
So it's a very fine line of not overthrottling.
Safe to say this was the toughest?
From a driving standpoint, yeah, for sure.
Archery was probably the toughest.
Why not studded tires on the ice?
Yeah.
Yeah, there's an oversight by others.
Yeah, I think you also, I mean, you want a little bit of that slippery element to it.
Sure, not being able to control your vehicle.
Yeah, but.
Garrett, you were.
actually here today on this film on this film day give the people some inside when you are out of a
battle a dude is it worse like having to be on set not being a part of it but watching well look who
you're asking you're asking the guy who voted himself voluntarily voted himself out of the battle in
round one the reason why i voted myself out though is i i hurt my shoulder you did take a little bang for sure
uh i mean at the end of the day i think coby coby probably deserved to get eliminated from that battle
Yeah.
Off from ground one.
But yeah, it hurt.
I mean, I wish I was on the eye for this one.
I don't really care for the golf one.
I mean, it's whatever, but I want to be out there for the ice when this looked like fun.
It was fun.
And then watching kind of, you know, incompetent drivers out there just not know how to do it.
It was tough.
Slotted.
It was a recipe for disaster for the twins.
Almost missed it.
They're not going on ice.
They've never played hockey a day in their life.
They can't really drive.
So what was the toughest round for y'all?
I only played in one.
So was it the ice or the archer,
you said archery?
Archery tag for sure.
How about you?
I definitely wouldn't say that was tough.
I got one.
It depends on your competition.
Yeah.
Well, the thing for me on archery tag
was you have to drive your,
you want to like.
Can you get, can you,
were the rules where I want to hear
for this one, can you pop up with a car?
Yeah.
Oh, like you could self-pop.
It's like the fact that Jackson's,
it's Mario Kart.
It's Mario Kart.
It's a great game.
Really funny.
game. Well, my thing was shooting while driving, steering, and then you have to reload,
grab the arrow reload. There was a lot of things to... It looked very quick. It looks like you went
down. Oh, brother. When the twins say on camera, like it took an hour to get here to South Dallas,
brother, we were boots on the ground for about 15 minutes. It felt like that's how quick.
It was the moment, I mean, for the people at home, I've been in a battle finale. It's like,
it's all fun in games. We try to let the audience in.
on the fun and enjoy ourselves, but there is some
pressure. Was this your first, like
finals battle? Like solo battle?
I think first even close to
sniffing one, right? Well, team survival, winter survival.
That was a team battle. Team battle. This was your first
opportunity at a solo dove. Yes. And the lights were
bright? They were bright, yes. Let's go through
little rankings. Let's rank, we'll swing
some positions. Okay. All right.
Let's go with the most skilled player out of all
the competitions. For this? For
Rockettle?
Specifically?
No,
just for the whole,
just for driving battles.
Just for,
just for the go-car battles.
I'm gonna say Ty on this one.
Most skilled.
Most skilled, Tyler.
Yeah.
Most skilled.
Passionate.
Tyler.
See this one,
I was gonna,
I was gonna say me.
Really?
I actually was gonna give this
to Jackson as well.
Really?
Yes.
Because I love Rocket League.
It's the one game I grew up playing
and I was super hyped to play this.
And like,
I actually used Rocket League strategies
that I use in the video game.
I was going to give this to you.
Dirtiest, obviously, which I'll say it.
I just feel like passion usually translates to results.
No, not necessarily.
No?
No?
No, sometimes you can be overpassionate and hurt yourself.
Maybe that's what it was.
Yeah.
Maybe it was some overpassion.
Obviously, we know the dirtiest player here.
Cody?
Cody.
Yeah.
You don't do that in round two.
Yeah.
Well, made the rule.
Again, he makes the rule.
You can't hit somebody else's ball once you're in the hole.
Yeah.
And then he literally hits his ball in the hole.
and then wax Jackson's ball five seconds later.
It's not just that he acted on it after making the rule.
It's the fact that Cody will stand on it.
It wasn't a video.
We have 15 cameras around.
He's like,
I didn't judge his ball.
He tried to argue that it was inadvertent
and that he didn't even mean to.
And it was an accidental hit after that happened.
It's like Jackson arguing about the book report.
Yeah.
It was very similar.
Very similar.
It was like, yeah, watching football club.
Clutch player, I'm going to go tie.
Yeah.
I'm going to go Tyler here.
I don't know if we can pick the same person twice.
Is that part of the rules?
Sure.
Obviously last picked.
We all know who this is going to be.
The 180 quick scope was delicious.
Kobe, right?
Oh, I would have said, Corey.
I'd say put both of them.
Yeah, twins.
That's fine.
Yeah.
Corey actually did decent in the first battle, I felt like.
He got a lot of time in on tour.
Yeah.
I had no time in on tour.
The speed golf.
Yeah, that's true.
Corey did good in speed golf.
I felt like he had a souped up cards.
That's a disservice to Corey.
Let's go Kobe.
Kobe.
Officially Kobe.
If you're talking DPU, Corey.
Yeah.
We're switching back.
I'm really just looking at the hockey.
I didn't,
the hockey was hard to watch.
It was hard to watch.
They were,
they were timid.
Mm-hmm.
Just the way they wear their helmet.
So,
you know.
So why was Cody so upset about
breaking the role whenever the role?
He did the same exact thing.
Cody was upset because he wanted to participate
in this video really badly.
Oh.
I think Cody
has a really
bit, he has a really small brain
so he says a lot of things and he instantly
forgets he says it or does it, like instant.
Like it's one of those things where it actually will work out
for you in some situations where it's like...
Let's watch it here. Here's after he's just made the rule
and make sure everybody's on the same page.
Cody in the hole and wax. Oh, I didn't mean to.
Oh, dude, that was on accident. That was on accident.
Wow. And then again, like Jackson tries to lie about it.
Wait, what?
Oh, you're...
Okay.
Yeah, you're a liar.
I mean, just clear and obvious.
You know how the Grinch's heart is like three times too small?
That's Jones with his brain.
It's his three times too small.
And so he does have a small head too.
So, you know, some people have a big head in a small brain,
but you never have to worry about a guy with a small head having a big brain because they can't fit in there.
He has a huge frame, though, for such a little brain.
And, you know, I think he argues these things and it's like, dude, it's, you brought this on yourself, man.
there's his no coming back.
It happens quite a bit with Cody.
This is when I knew I was done
because I missed the ball at three.
You don't know how hard we had to work
to keep you in this game.
Yeah, I was like, there's no way I'm winning.
Oh, Ty did you.
I had a whiff.
Yeah, you get going too fast.
That ball takes one little pop up
and then you just go right underneath it.
I legitimately started praying after this game.
You did?
I needed, there was,
because I was like, there's no way I win.
Looks like the British Open baked fairways.
These things are running.
Safe to say we would run this competition, this board mat back in the future.
Oh, yeah, that's a great.
Oh, it's a ton of fun.
100%.
For the fans at home and D'all, what game did we miss?
You feel like?
I said, we never totally worked out the logistics,
but I think go-kart football would be a lot of fun.
Like running routes and stuff.
Yeah. It's just like it's too, it's touch.
So it's just you got to run into their car.
Baseball would be fun.
Yeah? Yeah?
Or like if it's like kickball or something.
But you have a bat.
Yeah, like something like that.
There's more meat on that bone.
There's more meat on it.
That's our whistle from J.B.,
which means our two-minute warning.
That's certain to become like worse than my alarm.
We should probably record that for your alarm,
so you stop over sleeping sometimes.
I have actually really upset because the current alarm song I have,
I burned that song because now I don't like the song anymore.
Well, song was that song you liked?
That's what you wake up to.
Wow.
And it first is like infused energy.
Man, man.
That's an improper way to wake up.
Oh, you got a rant, though?
I've got a little one.
Oh, wow, dude, we're like hammering at home.
The price of lithium double A's has exponentially...
What have we got now?
Is it 18 bucks for four?
Dude, way more.
It's over $20.
For four?
Dude, it's ridiculous.
Four pack of double A's.
The problem is I can't go with your standard Dura cells
because they don't last in my trail cams.
and the batteries go out, and the solar panels that they sell,
and the rechargeable battery packs that they sell,
they just don't last.
I mean, you get maybe a month out of them.
Now I've got to go right back into my hotspot,
put a bunch of scent, even though I don't have that much,
or even though I don't use soap, right in my good spots,
replace the trail cam batteries,
and I don't want to spend two grand on lithium double A's every single year.
And it's also not good for the environment,
throwing those things away.
There's no telling how much environmental damage.
I've caused from the amount of lithiums that I discard every month.
And they could just make these suckers better.
Yes.
They don't have solar powered trail again?
They do, and they don't work that great.
The solar panels just barely keep them charged.
If you got them on a trail that doesn't get that much activity,
maybe it's going to work.
But, man, you put those things at a feeder or just a bedded, like, hot spot.
That thing's going to just...
That's all I know.
That was passion, dude.
Lithium battery prices have got to come down.
I take Jackson's the most passionate.
Take Jackson's name off the board.
Thank you.
You can see the passion, dude.
You can hear it.
Your discrevences just end with the lithium doubles.
Yeah, that's it.
I just want prices to come down.
Joy, oh, triple A's too, but no trail cam takes triple A's.
I mean.
Is lithium double A's?
Yeah, well, there is they make all kinds of lithiums.
Nine volts.
I mean.
Price of labor these days.
The hard drives we record on have tripled.
You should see what we pay Jackson, guys.
You'd be shocked.
You'd be shocked.
Inflation has just gotten insane.
He gets paid.
Yeah, he should be about $7.15.
hour and he's
what are you about 45
50 bucks an hour
I don't know
I'm paid an hour
he only work a couple hours a day but
yeah it's like 50 or
it might even be a hundred an hour
it's more than that for the amount of hours he actually
that's what I'm saying is hourly rate is
outrageous should be three cents
he may honestly be in like four figures
per hour for the amount of hours he puts in
you know what I'm saying
inflation's gotten out of hand
yeah a couple thousand bucks an hour good point there T
a page red if uh
If POTUS has listened to us,
sometimes he checks in on almost athletes.
President of the United States, POTUS?
Yeah.
That's what it stands for, Jacks.
Not president of the Uruguayan states.
Are you smarter than a fifth grader next week?
I'm almost acting.
It's going to be fun.
I might, I'm not looking at.
I might fail.
I need to brush up on my geography.
That's the one that embarrasses me.
Looks like our time is up.
If you like this video,
be sure to check out our DP Outdoors Breath Holding Challenge here.
We'll be back next Wednesday with an all-new app.
Found it. Noggin.
See ya.
Wave.
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