American Presidents: Totalus Rankium - 12.1 Zachary Taylor

Episode Date: January 26, 2019

Who's that man in the tatty hat sitting in the corner? Why, It's General Taylor of course! In between freaking out young officers in his army due to being a master of disguise, Taylor led an interesting life full of tales of death and love. Find out about his life up to the end of the Mexican war in part 1!

Welcome to Totalus Rankium. This week, Zachary Taylor Part 1. Hello and welcome to American Presidents Totalus Rankium. I am Jamie. And I'm Rob, ranking all of the presidents from Washington to Trump. And this is 12.1 Zachary Taylor. Zach. Zach Tay. Zach Tay is what they used to call him. Oh yeah. Only his friends, though. Military man today, not a politician.

It's going to be a little bit different. Always a bit Jackson-y. Well, no. In a nutshell. We have had quite a few in a row of career politicians. Yeah. Yeah, he's not. Because Van Buren was probably the first.

Yeah. We've had a few. But yeah, no. So we're going to see a slightly different side to America here. But of course, before we start, we have our introduction. Oh, yes. Cinematic. Oh, yes. Go for it. Start in a tavern. An inn, if you will my favorite place this is a a rural inn in the florida woods so sort of um something you'd see in skyrim like wooden made let's let's say that yeah full-on fantasy yeah fork drinking on the corner literal sawdust on the floor yeah yeah that kind of thing could you play in poker well not quite um we'll get into that in a moment um below a third yeah he's in the he's in the correct term this time says florida 1839 second seminole war it's a second seminole war yeah there was some native americans

weren't they yes in florida if you remember yes yes okay it's the middle of the day right sun is shining nice um the barman's cleaning the Okay, it's the middle of the day. Right. Sun is shining. Nice. The barman's cleaning the glasses or just moving the grease around the glasses. Like they do. There's one customer, a scruffy man in the corner. Nice. And that's about it. Okay.

You know what it's like in a pub in the middle of the day. It's a smell of stale beer in the air. And sunlight coming through the window and shafts. Yeah. That kind of thing. Hazy atmosphere inside. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

The smoke from the night before is still clinging to the walls slightly, but it's generally settled. Yeah, yeah. Let's give the barman braces and a huge moustache, shall we? Oh, fantastic. Can I call him Leopold? Yes. Brilliant. The man in the corner, let's give him a wide-brimmed hat with no crown.

It's kind of coming off a bit. So he's like wearing a frisbee? Like one of those hoops that you throw. You know the cartoon tatty top hat that's got the lid coming off? A bit like that, but with a wide-brimmed hat. Both in their 50s. Comfortable silence. And then the door opens. A slam, I'd like tos. Comfortable silence. And then the door opens.

A slam, I'd like to think. Dramatic opening. Yeah, beams of sunlight shooting through. The two men inside shield their eyes slightly. All right, burns your eyes! Leopold's German. Okay, fair enough. Do you want a drink?

Well, in steps, a young army officer in a brand new uniform, all crisp, shiny buttons. You look very smart. Oh, the barman's used to this. This inn is only 50 miles from the camp where the army was stationed. He'd made good business out of this. It's a hell of a distance to go for a pint home, 50 miles. Especially back then. But it's also en route to the camp from up north.

Anyway, the young officer orders a drink, asks about getting a room for a couple of nights before heading into camp. There was room, so the barman makes the arrangements and then the officer sits down to enjoy his beverage.

Nice. The man in the corner is the talkative type. You know what they're like. Regulars and bars. Yeah. Yeah. So he starts asking questions to the officer about his comings and goings. The officer, giving up on ignoring this man, stated that he was newly appointed,

making his way to report to General Taylor. You may have heard of him. He's in charge of the troops down here. The scruffy man then asks about a room. Well, if you plan to stay here a couple of days, what are you going to say to the general when you get there to explain your tardiness? Surely you should head straight there. Oh, and I'm quoting here, said the officer.

They say Taylor's an easy old soul. I'll easily make up an excuse. Cut to later that night. The officer is about to make his way up to his room. Got himself a hot toddy. Yeah, oh, nice. Yeah, and, I don't know, whatever else you used to take to bed in the olden days. A little candle on a...

Yes, he's got his candle on a... A little stand. Stand, yeah. He's got one of those... A nightcap. Yeah, a big nightcap night cap anyway he just happens to to mention to the barman the the scruffy man of the in the corner regular is he the barkeep turned and simply said why don't you know general taylor now stay on the barkeep here don't pan away yeah

the officer leaves the shot and you it's still just on the barkeep here. Don't pan away. Yeah. The officer leaves the shot. And you're still just on the barkeep. And then you hear several sounds off camera. And then hoofbeats just suddenly starting and then fading away quite quickly. And then the barkeep smiles, casually tosses the money for the room in the air and then catches it. And then, oh, yeah, I'm doing it again. Winks to the camera. It's twice in two weeks. Cut to black, Zachary Taylor.

Nice. There we go. That's our little story at the start. I like that. That was nice. Yeah. The build-up and the swerve. Oh, the guy walking in is not Zach Taylor.

Exactly. It's the man in the corner in scruffy clothes. This story comes up quite often. It's the man in the corner. Oh. In scruffy clothes. This story comes up quite often. It would appear Taylor really enjoyed tricking young officers. It was one of the things he got enjoyment out of. Scaring the living hell. Yes.

But that comes up later. Because obviously we need to start with his childhood. Yeah. He was born. Well, actually, let's start with Zachary's father, shall we? Richard. Richard Taylor. Not the one who worked on Lord of the Rings. Only just occurred to me. I'm sure the person who runs Weta Workshop

is called Richard Taylor. Is it? If it is, I'm amazed at myself. And I'm going to keep that in. And if I'm wrong, no one will ever hear. Anyway, so, Richard Taylor. He was an officer in the Revolutionary War, a distant cousin of James Madison, actually.

Okay. And also a near neighbour of the future president. They lived in Virginia. Richard had married a woman named Sarah Strother, or Strother. Strother sounds easier. They married during the Revolutionary War. Shortly afterwards afterwards the couple had a child and then another child which is nice so two children two children yes that's what you

said the family was well respected considered in the upper class so they're they're part of the virginian aristocracy but they're kind of at the bottom of the virginian aristocracy sort of new money can kind of afford to go out for meals but they can't splash out they they own plantation they own slaves oh good yeah yeah they are the the upper crust but they've not got ridiculous slaves and plantations they've got about 20 slaves compared to a thousand slaves yeah. Yeah, more like that. Yeah, okay. And also, their plantation was struggling at this point. Years of grown tobacco had destroyed the soil. Yeah, need to rotate.

Exactly. So they were falling on hard times. Richard, who had been given land in Kentucky as payment for the war, decided it was time to make their future in the West, which we've seen in the last couple of episodes. Yeah, heading out West. So, leaving his pregnant wife and two sons behind, he headed for Kentucky. To make their future in the West. Which we've seen in the last couple of episodes. Yeah. Heading out West. So. Leaving his pregnant wife and two sons behind.

He headed for Kentucky. What a guy. To be fair. This was to set things up. Yeah. He was laying the groundwork. It wasn't just a case of. See ya.

Bye. I'm off. I'll send a cheque. By the time he returned seven months later. Their third son Zach, had been born. Obviously, that's our Zachary Taylor. Yes. Yeah, you got that. Good.

A few months after this, the family headed off for their new lives. So, Zachary Taylor, born in Virginia, but only just. In the summer of 1785, the family made their way by water to a log cabin that had been built in Beargrass Creek. And this is where the Taylors set up a 400-acre farm called Springfield, where Zachary and his siblings would grow up. Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. They honked. Yeah.

Yeah. As we have seen, the West at this time was a dangerous place to be. Law was hard to regulate, and Native American tribes were fighting hard against the white expansion. So skirmishes were frequent. People generally didn't go around on their own. We have very little on

Zachary's early life, but we do have one interesting story. Apparently there was an old woman who lived nearby who used to love scaring the children, including Zachary. What she'd do is she'd walk up to them, suddenly remove her headdress to reveal a bald head,

and then shout at them that the Indians had scalped her. Lovely. And then they'd run away screaming. Nice. Yeah. It would appear that she just had no hair and she'd used this story to scare children.

That's fantastic. You would, though, wouldn't you? You so would. Yeah, so would appear that she just had no hair and she used this story to scare children. That's fantastic. You would though, wouldn't you? You so would. Yeah, so there you go. That's one story we've got. Zachary learned to read and write at home. His mother, Sarah, taught all her children, the number of which had grown to five sons and three daughters. It's a nice large family.

Apart from this, Zachary would have played in the fields, perhaps noting the 26 slaves that they had working them, perhaps playing with some of the slave children. We just don't know. An Irish teacher turned up. Ah, top of the morning to you there. As in an Irish teacher, not a teacher of Irish, I'm guessing. Although maybe he did both.

I shall be teaching you about the homeland. Very good, very good. It's good. Sit down there, young Zachary. Let me tell you a yarn about the green land. Blue moons, yellow clovers. It's green clovers. Ah, feck.

Yeah, I mean, that's the kind of lessons he'd have. Yeah. Zachary excelled in Irish studies. They spent all time looking for rainbows and pot of golds yes and other stereotypes it was fun to be sure to be sure apparently zachary did well enough um at the school that started off although his spanning and grammar wasn't great but other things he was all right at like like finding the pots of gold. Yeah. As he grew, he also learned how to manage the plantation from his father.

General plantation tips. Yeah, so the idea is you put the seeds in the ground. No, no, no, you see, you've already made the mistake. Sorry, you hit the slaves until they put the seeds in the ground. There we go, there you're getting it. Right. There we go. Yeah. Perhaps, however, what he learned from his father more than anything else, however,

was from Richard's war stories. Remember, he was in the Revolutionary War. Yes. Yes, and he'd tell his young children stories of the war. Zachary, therefore, wanted to be a soldier more than anything else. Aww. I'm just going to say now, because Taylor's so removed from politics in these episodes, I'm going to keep track of who's in president throughout, just so you can get a general gist. Yeah.

So occasionally I'll say things like by the way jefferson's now president right yeah by the way jefferson's now president thank you because quite early on then oh yeah yeah well being born in in 1785 um he he would be a young child when washington first took power and then grew up with Washington and then all the other presidents. So yeah, we're now in 1808. He is the age of 23 and Jefferson is still president at that point, near the end of his presidency. And Taylor joins the army as a lieutenant. Oh yeah. You might remember from Jefferson's episode, near the end of his presidency, he established an embargo of all the foreign trade and it just destroyed the economy. Yeah. Yeah. And all that was due to tensions with

Britain. So all those tensions were rising and there was a belief that more soldiers were going to be needed quite soon. Yeah. Taylor, therefore, was able to get the rank of lieutenant despite his lack of experience. His first job was to recruit men to join his new regiment, as we've seen a couple of times before. first job was to recruit men to join his new regiment, as we've seen a couple of times before. Are you ready to join the army? Prepare to follow somebody with no experience. But no experience, no mistakes.

That's the motto. Yeah, I mean, we've seen this with Washington, Harrison. It's a fairly typical start to your military experience, it would appear. It works surprisingly well on quite a few occasions. Weird, isn't it? Well, he spent the first few months generally touring around the area, trying to find people who were willing to sign up. Yeah.

After successfully doing this, getting around 80 men, he then travelled to New Orleans, arriving just after Madison was sworn into the presidency. Okay. Now, Taylor was in the relatively new New Orleans territory here, and this was currently under command of General Wilkinson, who I have mentioned before, but I don't see why you'd remember him. But we do need to do a special episode on him one day,

because he's the general who later is found out to be a Spanish spy. Oh. That was just really awful. Spoiler. Spoiler. For that episode. Although to be a Spanish spy. Oh. And was just really awful. Spoiler. Spoiler. For that episode. Although I have mentioned that before. Okay.

Yeah. Anyway, for now, he's in charge of the troops in the New Orleans territory. However, conditions in this hot, swampy region were not great, as you can imagine. And soon enough, it was decided by the War Secretary to move the men to Fort Adams near Nechaz, which is further north up the Mississippi River, where conditions were a bit better. Yeah, less gator-y. Yes. However, Wilkinson, who it was rumoured had business and a mistress in the city,

decided, let's just stay here just outside New Orleans, shall we? It was a disaster. decided, let's just stay here just outside New Orleans, shall we? It was a disaster. Conditions in camp were so bad that the food spoiled immediately. And then disease ran rampant. Well, what do you expect when you bring in soufflés and ice cream? It's not good army food.

Tasty, yes, but this is not going to last in the swamps. Jelly? Terrible idea. Just milk left out in the open. Oh, yeah, and cream puffs. Jeez. Lots of people started to die. Like a lot of people. Yeah. Men started to bury the dead,

but the earth being quite boggy meant that was quite tricky. And quite often arms or legs of the dead would kind of stick out a bit after you thought you'd buried them. Good thing to hang your bag on there. And quite often arms or legs of the dead would kind of stick out a bit. After you thought you'd buried them. Good thing to hang your bag on though. Just someone's arm sticking out of the ground, put your bug roll on it. Toilet roll. Very convenient actually.

Yes it is. Grim times but... Needs a mess. Yeah exactly. Anyway, after seeing just how many people were dying, Wilkinson finally decided to move north, like he should have done in the first place. However, the journey up the Mississippi was just as deadly as staying by this point,

because most of his men were sick and needed rest. So this quite tough journey up the river kind of wiped them out. Like, the entire army was pretty much killed this is like what yeah it's like camping trip from hell isn't it essentially really was no fighting no no it an entire army just got killed because of poor decision making by the general and you see the little things like mosquito bites and infections from yeah yeah illness Yeah, illness, fatigue, famine. And then after that, everyone get on these boats and work really hard to get up the river.

Ooh. Yeah. Not great. Zachary, however, had got lucky. His tent was right next to one of those arms he could use for a toilet dispenser. That's what counted as lucky. Quite literally handy, yeah. No,

the reason why he got lucky is that he had gotten ill right near the start and was sent home to recover. So he actually missed most of this, which is quite lucky. But it also meant that he had time, whilst he was at home, to meet Margaret Smith,

or Peggy, as she was known. She was in the area, visiting her sister, and the two hit it off. Oh, no. He's got a wife. No, that was Richard's wife. No, never mind. Yeah, no, that's his mum. Oh, that's a different story.

No, his mum's not getting in the way. Don't worry. Yeah, no, he's free and single, and so is she. So it's a nice story, this one. That's good. Yes. In 1810, the two were married. They wasted no time.

Richard presented his newly married son and daughter-in-law with 324 acres of land. As a wedding gift, which is nice. Nice. Probably told them about it rather than literally presented it to them, like at the wedding. Shovel at a time. Yeah. Just rolled up turf. Here you go. within a year their

first child was born a daughter called anne oh having set up this family for himself it was then time to get back to the army it's quite an extended leave yeah yeah go and recover and find yourself a wife and have a child and then be back yes well the reason why he was able to have such an extended leave is because the tensions with britain had passed and the army in the west were now mostly garrisons of around 20 people in forts scattered around the place so many yeah so he wasn't needed desperately so he had a long 12 year not quite that long but yeah a good couple of years he was able to just get his affairs in order but it's now time to go back to the frontier he was to take over fort knox in kentucky near vincennes indiana this is really close to where william henry

harrison was currently in charge so this fort kn Knox is the one that's now the gold bullion depository? No, I didn't even think to check. You never know. Yes. No. I'll add in one of those. Oh. Oh.

Yeah. There were many Fort Knoxes. Yeah. So the chances of this one being the same. But no, I didn't even think to look. Anyway, the man who had been running Fort Knox had somewhat inconveniently shot one of his own lieutenants. Well, it happens.

It does. So he wasn't allowed to rule the fort anymore. Just tied to a chair with rope. There you go, sir. Taylor was tasked with going in and instilling some order. They keep killing each other. There you go, sir. Taylor was tasked with going in and instilling some order. They keep killing each other. In you go. However, shortly after this, he received

word General Wilkinson was being court-martialed, mainly due to the mess in New Orleans. You are awful. We need to court-martial you. However, General Wilkinson wanted Taylor as a character witness, interestingly. Hmm.

Yeah. Well, in a way, because he wasn't there long enough to see the horror. Quite possibly, yeah. Anyway, whether Taylor would have been able to say anything in defence of the general, we don't know, because he wasn't actually called to stand in the end. Yeah. Because Wilkinson had enough friends in high places and just got off like you do however due to the uncertainty taylor found himself back at home with recruitment duties once

more which meant that when things kicked off between harrison and tecumseh in prophet town yeah taylor missed all that because he would have been involved but yeah because of uh being called off as a character witness he he kind of missed it. Oh, missed all the fun. Missed all of the fun, yeah. However, if he was disappointed in missing this action, he need not have feared because, after all, the War of 1812 is just round the corner. Yay!

Yay! Clapped his hands excitedly. So in March, just before the war officially started, Taylor was ordered to Fort Harrison. He travelled with about 80 of us, mostly soldiers, but with some women and children who were travelling with their husbands. Safe. Fairly standard back then. All right.

Yeah. They got ill. They got very ill. Oh, dear. Fifteen of them died. Ah, wonderful. Yeah. Out of how many?

Eighty. Ah, yeah. Ooh. Yeah. When they arrived at the fort, they all sort of dropped down and attempted to recover. Soon enough, everyone in the fort was ill. Excellent. Yeah.

And only a couple of men at a time were able to stand guard. Taylor himself also was suffering from this. But, they were quite lucky. Things seemed very quiet. No sightings of the Native American tribes. Good. Everything seems fine. We just all lie here,

feel sorry for ourselves until we've recovered. It'll be fine. Perfect. Pass us the dirty water. Until one day one of them sort of lifted their head up, groaned slightly, looked out the window, rubbed their head with a damp cloth and

noticed two mutilated bodies of farmers just outside the front door. Oh, that's gonna make you feel better. Oh dear. Yeah, things weren't going to stay quiet for long. The bodies were taken in and buried and the fort went on to high alert. Or as alert as it could be. Yeah. They changed the picture of a candle with an orange flame to a candle with a red flame. Oh, nice. Yes. They attached a piece of string to the bell to ring an emergency until you'd lie on the floor and ring it. Yes, clever. Yeah.

Then, shortly afterwards, a Native American envoy appeared at their door with a flag of truce above them. This was actually a man known to Taylor from his previous time in the region. And they got to talking. This Native American tribe had starving women and children who really needed help. And they were innocent to all that was going on. Surely the US could help. They wouldn't let these people starve to death. You seem like moral people.

Yeah. Taylor was sceptical. They'd heard news that this was a ruse that had been used before to get people to open the door. So he just refused. And that night, he had all the men who could stand to stand on guard. So that's you, Steve. Sure enough, the attack came.

Oh dear. Yes. The troops spent the night defending the walls and trying to stop their supply building from being set alight, which was the main target. Yeah. It was a tough night, a hard night. Some of Taylor's men jumped from the walls and deserted,

fearing that it was all over. The supply building did indeed catch alight at one point, but due to Taylor's leadership, the flames were defeated. Apparently, he did well here, did Taylor. Ran around the place, staying calm, ordering people to rip up boards that could catch a light and put out flames with water and things like that. Useful suggestions.

I was going to give him this old bucket of water running around, like, splashed. Just doing that, that's all he did. Yeah, literally putting out fires all night. Yeah. Essentially, that was what was going on. That's where the phrase came from. Only there were arrows raining down on them whilst they did it as well.

Oh, that's funny. Yeah, it was not pleasant. Eventually, however, at dawn, the attackers gave up and retreated. Taylor ordered the damage to the fort be repaired and took stock. They had managed to just about save enough provisions to stay. He then sent out a request for aid, quite sensibly. As it happened, however, word had already reached Colonel Russell, who

was in the region, who soon turned up with 1,200 men. That's good. They were saved. Yay! Yay! Taylor was warmly congratulated by the Colonel, and word was sent back east of the battle. As we've seen, there was very little to celebrate for the US in the War of 1812. So when news came through of a young captain repalling an attack,

that was soon written up as a stunning victory. Of course, yes. But I will quote here, the firm and almost unparalleled defence by Captain Zachary Taylor. It was written up as a war hero. What a brilliant young captain we have here. Nice. The president himself in fact, Madison,

weighed in and declared that Taylor was to be awarded with promotion to brevet major. Brevet just means temporary. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's a temporary position. He was apparently the first ever to be given a brevet position in US history. Yeah, this position apparently caused a bit of problems later down the line

because people didn't really know whether that meant he was on par with a major or not because he's a temporary major. And how long for if it's temporary? Until the war, I'm guessing. Exactly. Like a field commission. Yeah, it opens up some questions and it does cause some problems in the army later on. But Taylor at this time just saw it as a promotion. Yeah.

The kind of promise I'll be a real major one day. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Started to grow his tash out already. Exactly. Anyway, pretty good so far. Yeah, it did well.

He seems to be enjoying himself in the army. For the next couple of years, Taylor tried to get transferred to areas that were seeing more action, but to no avail. He returned home on sick leave at one point, we do know, and he was involved in some skirmishes, but nothing major. Which is what he was. Right. Then, in 1814, under General Howard, he was given a mission. He was to head up the Mississippi River and burn any villages he found and engage the Indian forces he encountered. So a bit of a hack and slash job then. Pretty much, yeah. It was a tough journey, but eventually they came across an island in the river that was

full of really good looking horses. Yeah, as in like expensive looking horses, probably rather than like good looking horses. But who knows? There's Corporal Dennis behind. He's just, rather than, like, good-looking horses. But who knows? Maybe. There's Corporal Dennis behind. He's just, like, really getting overexcited about the horses. Hold Dennis back, guys! Hold him back! He's enjoying those horses way too much! Put it away, Dennis! Put it away!

Well, Taylor knew of this trick as well. Yeah. Yeah, this was obviously a trap. Get the US forces to go onto the island to capture the horses. The horse fetishists. Yes, and then they'd be attacked. was obviously a trap get the u.s forces to go onto the island to capture the horses the horse fetishists yes and uh then they'd be attacked so tyler did not fall for this and he he set up things accordingly and sure enough soon the fighting broke out here between the two sides lasted a couple of days but then the british turned up yay supporting the native americans

yeah taylor knew it was time to retreat and did so. Shortly after that, the war ended. So there you go. That's pretty much what Taylor got up to during the war. He made a name for himself nationally. That's good. But apart from that, he didn't do much else. All right.

And also, unfortunately for Taylor, the war ending meant the size of the army was to be reduced from roughly 60,000 men to 10,000. Oh, wow, that's really... Yeah. That's quite a reduction, isn't it? Now, he had actually just been made a full major. The temporary part got removed. He was now a full major. But now he was demoted back to captain.

Oh. Not because he'd done anything wrong, just because there were not enough places for people. You can't have a top-heavy mushroom system, can you? Yeah, exactly. So, disgusted by this move, he retired from the army and returned home. The end of this section. Okay.

Yeah, Taylor was back home. He was a plantation man now. Okay. He wrote to a relative talking about how glad he was to be at home with his young family and his plantation and all the stuff you do as a civilian pretty much because it was only a few weeks after that he was writing to another relative and i'll quote here my life affords me nothing sufficiently interesting to trouble my friends by communicating with them. Basically, I've got nothing to talk about.

Yeah, life is boring. However, fortunately for Taylor, a couple of majors had just stopped being majors. Oh, brilliant. Yeah, and one of the spots was offered to Taylor. Yay! He bit their hand off, figuratively, and awaited instructions.

Peggy was heavily pregnant at this point, so there was some things to do back at home maggie peggy margaret what yeah you could call margaret maggie i suppose but no her name is peggy don't ask questions okay why what else would peggy be i was trying to work that out was it peregrine pegra i don't know peggy mitchell i don't know her first name margaret i'm guessing all right carry on okay so yeah there were some things for him to do back home as a civilian yeah and anyway on the day that peggy gave birth taylor's orders arrived now his wife having just given birth to their third daughter taylor decided not to rush to the michigan territory where he'd just been ordered to

and instead he stayed for a while just to see how the baby was as you would yeah yeah and on an occasion that must have resulted in high fives literally all around oh dear oh it was decided to call the girl octavia oh there's some there. There's some ripple effects of high five going on there. Like people three towns away were high fiving each other on that one. Have you heard Octavia's been born? No idea who that is, but high five. Anyway, after four months, Taylor arrived at his post. He was now in command of Fort Howard.

This was on the very frontier line, as we've seen. Those living right in the sort of northwest. It's known as the Midwest now. But northwest at the time, it was very barren. There were hardly any people there. Apart from, obviously, the Native Americans and the descendants of French trappers. So that's about it. And we have no details, really, of his two years here.

We don't even know if his family went up to live with him or not. We just don't know. Let's assume no, except one daughter. He took Octavia with him. Yes. For the high fives. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Just under his arm. Yeah. Why on earth did you bring that baby? Her name is Octavia. She's five. Anyway, whilst he's up there, Monroe becomes president. Just so you know. After these couple of years, he went home again for another year,

and he was promoted to lieutenant colonel. And then shortly after that, he got an invitation to a dinner party. None other than the president, Monroe, was coming west to see how the troops were getting along, and he was coming with none other than the Major General Andrew Jackson. Ooh. Taylor, whose name was still well known from the Fort Harrison battle, was given an invite.

Nice. So in April 1819, the President Monroe and two future presidents attended the same party in Kentucky. That's nice. Then over the next few years, Taylor took on various duties that we don't need to get into. Various military duties, looking after various places. He was taken away from his family for long periods of time

and then he returned for periods of leave. We get the impression at this point he didn't like the fact he was kept away from his children and his wife. He seems quite a family man, doesn't he? He wants to be around them, which is... Yeah, well, we'll see later why we get this opinion. Anyway, due to being away from home, Peggy and the children stayed with Peggy's sister in Louisiana.

Right. Because it would have been a lonely life. And it made sense that she goes and lives with her sister. Yeah. However, whilst Taylor was with the 8th Infantry, who were currently overseeing the construction of a road, Taylor received some devastating news. His wife and four daughters had all caught malaria. Oh no. Yeah. Taylor rushed to see them, expecting the worst. However, he was delighted to see that Peggy had pulled through.

The joy was short-lived, however, because three-year-old Octavia then died. That'd be like the saddest high-five funeral. Oh. Everyone taking away their high-fives. Taylor stayed and grieved with his family, but before long, he was due back, so he left. He set off

to resume his post, but then a letter soon arrived. Baby Margaret, their youngest daughter had also succumbed to malaria and died quite a nasty time for the family as a whole there anyway then the next decade happens when not much interesting happens so we're going to skim over this slightly taylor continued to serve the military uh in 1822 he he was transferred to Baton Rouge, or Red Stick, in Louisiana. He spent a couple of years there, and then he was back on recruiting duty for a while. For a while, he stayed in Washington, D.C., and worked on a committee to improve military

organization. So he did get to see a bit of the inner workings of political life, but not much. He wasn't that long. John Quincy Adams became president, and around this time Taylor decided to buy land in Baton Rouge, moving his family to the plantation there. Then in 1828 he was posted back up in the northwest, and then Jackson became president. And then in 1832 the Black Hawk War happened. Now, this war lasts three months, in which around 500 or 600 Native Americans died and 77 US soldiers died. Oh, yeah.

Did we cover this? No, no. We've covered a similar one, though. Okay. I mean, perhaps this should be considered less of a war and more a skirmish within the wider war that is continuing between native americans pushing back against the expansion but it's known as the black hawk war right now black hawk was a native

american leader similar in the mold as to come sir um charismatic able to get people to rally behind him and he he convinced his followers that them being forced to move across the Mississippi River and settle there to make room for the white settlers was somewhat unfair. I don't know how great a speaker you need to be able to do to convince people of that. Probably not that much. It's not on, guys. Yeah! You're right, it's not. Anyway, his tribe, the Sox, if I'm pronouncing that correctly,

had been moved across the river the year before after being forced to sign a treaty, as we've seen before how that worked. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Blackhawk and around 1,500 followers crossed back across the river in 1832 and generally just started to move around the land. Now, it's not clear what the intention of this was. Theories range from Black

Hawk was planning an attack all the way to Black Hawk was simply trying to settle the land peacefully and anywhere in between. Some historians suggest that even Black Hawk didn't know, he just didn't want to be on the other side of the river. Fair enough. Yeah, we don't really know, but what we do know is we now have a large group of Native American people in land that the US considered theirs. We're not too far from Prophetstown here, so this is roughly where this is happening. So, similar problem here. Right. Anyway, a man named Atkinson, Taylor's immediate superior, was given charge with dealing with the whole problem. Atkinson, however, was very slow to react.

And before they'd done anything, news started to come in of massacres and raids that this Native American group had started. Settlers in the region started to flee from the area, fearing that it was no longer safe. Oh yeah, you would. Yeah. Now, in the end, three regiments of the militia were sent out, and also Taylor with around 300 regulars. Remember, Taylor's in the end, three regiments of the militia were sent out, and also Taylor with around 300 regulars. Remember, Taylor's in the actual army,

but America is still convinced that militias are a good idea at this time, so it's mostly militiamen. It's cheap, they don't have to pay as much. Oh yeah, exactly. Atkinson had managed to recruit some Native Americans to fight on their side as well, but he placed them under the command of a man named William Hamilton. This was Alexander Hamilton's son. Yeah.

Apparently he did not do a very good job, and most of the Native Americans under him just left. No musical about him. No, a short depressing one called Hang on, that's Hang on, oh, they've gone. Anyway, in the first battle of this war, a detachment

of the militiamen and the followers of Black Hawk met. And things did not go very well for the US. Oh. Yeah. Black Hawk attempted to surrender. I mean, it looked like it was going well to begin with. Black Hawk realised that they were outnumbered. But then some trigger-happy militiamen shot a couple of Black Hawk's envoys. Oh. So the Native American forces decided,

well, we might as well go down fighting then if they're just going to kill us. Yeah. Turned out that they would not go down fighting because this sudden turn of events led to the militiamen all running. Yeah, they weren't expecting it. They're not supposed to be doing that. Yeah, so emboldened, Black Hawk and his men continue to raid the area, more confident than ever before.

Taylor was then put in charge of a fort within the region. So he spent his time trying to deal with the raids, but to little success. It's very hard to deal with these guerrilla tactic raids. So yeah, things weren't going great. And then a brigade of brand new militiamen turned up, reinforcements. They turned up at the fort where Taylor was in charge. Now, Taylor informed them that they needed to continue. You can't stop here. The next garrison needs your support, not us. So keep marching.

But it was evening and they'd been marching all day. So they were not very happy with this order. So Taylor stood up and gave a rousing speech. You know, like fanfare in the background. Oh, like Independence Day style. Independence Day style, wind in the hair. Nice. The jets were hovering behind him. Yeah. His speech was bloody move.

Well, I'll quote here. You are citizen soldiers, and some of you may fill high offices or even the presidency one day but never unless you do your duty forward march that was a pause yeah then the commander of the militia brigade turned to his men and said you need not obey his orders obey minebey mine and follow me. And they all camped. Oh. Yeah. Oh well. They had to lower the jets.

Pull the flag down. Yeah, bunting put away. Wind machine off. All very depressing. Taylor, understandably furious, but could do very little because of chain of command. Yeah. He did, however, develop a lifelong distaste to the militia. So that's nice.

Anyway, shortly after this, Atkinson gathered around 2,000 militia men and 500 regulars and set off hunting down Black Hawk, who was down to about 500 men by this point. Wow. So 2,500 to 500. The two sides met. The US forces killed many, but Blackhawk and his followers escaped. So again, the US followed. Eventually, they caught up with them

at Bad Axe Creek. Which is a brilliant name. This place is badass! What? Badass! Bad Axe! Well done. Makes you wonder what the axe did that was so bad.

Maybe it's one of those ones that, if you heat metal in certain ways, it becomes very brittle. Maybe it's just like a really brittle axe. It just shatters. That's a badass, that's a bad axe. Yeah, they used to sell them there at this creek. Yeah, exploding axes. Well, anyway, there was a battle at Bad Axe Creek. I say battle.

There was a slaughter at Bad Axe Creek. I say battle. There was a slaughter at Bad Axe Creek. Yeah. Only 50 of Black Hawk's men survived to surrender, along with the leader himself, who was caught sometime after the battle. Black Hawk was put into the charge of Taylor, who in turn placed him in the charge of one of his subordinates, a man named Jefferson Davis. Yes, this is the man who would go on to be the only president

of the confederate states during the civil war oh so there's two presidents well yeah when the south declared independence they elect jefferson davis as their president did not know that oh well there you go oh are we doing an episode on him no because he's a usurper had he have won the war possibly but he didn't i'll put a wiggly bubble around his name. Yeah, a wiggly bubble. Who knows, maybe we'll do some kind of special episode on how racist he was one day. Anyway, Davis had served under Taylor for the last few years by this point, and was trusted with this task.

Which he does. No? Yeah, there's no story there. Oh, okay. But it goes on to a different story. Because, in fact davis was well trusted by taylor enough that he had been able to meet some of taylor's family in the past most notably his daughter sarah who was 18 by this point

yeah so what happened well around this time with the Black Hawk War over, Taylor learnt that Davis intended to marry his daughter. Taylor was not happy at all. He had resolved by this point that no army officer would ever marry his precious daughter. This is where we get the idea that maybe he was becoming disenfranchised by all the time he spent away from his family. He didn't want that for his own daughter. Marry a man who's not in the army. I know what people in the army are like.

I'm surrounded by army officers all the time. No way is one of them marrying my daughter. And I'm a terrible husband. So yeah, Davis was not best pleased that Taylor was not giving his support. And Taylor was not best pleased that this young Davis was hanging around sniffing his daughter.

Sniffing around his daughter. Sorry, I said that wrong. You smell lovely. I wonder Taylor wasn't happy. That's weird. So things became tense between the two men and Davis and Sarah were forced to create elaborate schemes just to see each other. Oh, how elaborate?

Like sort of Home Alone style? Yes. Contraption. They'd lock Taylor in the bathroom using like a coat hanger, five marbles and a bit of spam. Yeah. Yeah. Then they'd be able to see each other for five minutes until the spam ran out. Yeah.

Nod his way out. Well, Davis was then promoted and was moved to another post. Weird. Conveniently. If Taylor hoped this would end things between the young man and his daughter, he was very much mistaken, however. Yeah, letters flew between

the two. The two remained very much in love. Davis decided that if Taylor would not accept an army officer marrying his daughter, then fine. He would just stop being an army officer. And Davis resigned from the army. Wow. Yeah. Dedication. Gesture. Yeah. I wouldn't do that. And thinking this would clear the objections from the older man, he and Sarah got married. Yay! Taylor's not happy. No.

He did not care that Davis had arranged his retirement. He just did not want him as a son-in-law. He just had this feeling he just wanted to start his own country. Yeah, just have a feeling you're not going to go down well in the history of your man. So after the wedding, the happy couple left to go and visit Davis's brother. And Sarah wrote to her mother asking her to convey her love to her father. Then Taylor received another message. Davis and Sarah had caught malaria.

Sarah was dead. Shouldn't laugh. That's quite sudden. Yeah, that's three months after the wedding. Oh, that's not fun. That's not fun. That is a third daughter died to malaria. How does Taylor die? Stop living in the swamps.

Yes. Seriously. Don't keep mosquitoes as pets. It's a terrible idea. We'll find out how Taylor dies another time. Next episode of Vans. As you can imagine, Taylor and Davis were both devastated. Taylor grieved. A couple of years passed. Martin Van Buren became president, somewhat incidentally. Then Taylor was given a different command, fighting in Florida against the Seminoles. This had been going on for

quite some time now. It was hard guerrilla fighting that was proving to be beyond any general sent down to deal with it. Guerrilla fighting. They fought guerrillas. That sounds amazing. Yeah. General Scott, you remember him from last week? Yes. Yes, I do.

Yeah, he'd done his best the previous year, but he found no luck. And General Jessup had also not done a good job after him. In fact, he'd managed to kill the Seminole leader. Yeah. But considering that Jessup had kidnapped him during a meeting under a flag of truce and then thrown him into a jail cell where he suspiciously died, many were

uncomfortable with Jessop's methods, shall we say. That's one of the unwritten rules, aren't there, for war and fighting? Yeah, in fact, some of those rules were actually written down as well. Yeah, it's just not the done thing. It's hard to argue you're fighting on behalf of civilisation when your methods are just far more barbaric than the enemy's.

Achieved his goal, though. Yeah, that's not really the point, though. All's fair in war. Anyway, Taylor arrived in Florida with a thousand men in 1837 and was put to work under Jessop, who was still there. In December that year, Taylor requested and was granted permission to move out with a band of men to track down the Seminole. On Christmas Eve, the two sides met, a rare occasion where the Seminole actually lined up to give battle. All wearing Christmas hats.

Everyone wore Christmas hats, yeah. The Seminole were in a really good defensive position. They were behind a swamp. Which is useful. It was really hard to get at them. Taylor ordered the attack anyway. And he waded through the swamp that came up to his waist.

Now the Seminole might have had a good defensive position, but they only had around 400 men and they did not have a single commander. So just the sheer numbers I'm guessing. Yeah, the US forces were over a thousand, so they had more than double the men. The first wave were heavily hit by Seminole fire

who had cut notches into the trees to put their guns in to get a steady aim. They were in a good fortified position there, but eventually the US forces won out when they broke one of the flanks. The Seminole folded and then fled.

The US had lost more men, but they'd taken the battlefield, so therefore they declared it a victory. After the battle was won, Taylor was promoted to Brevet Brigadier General. He soon earned himself a nickname Old Rough and Ready.

Suggested by his wife. Yes. Old any time, any place. Old not now. It's late. My mother's downstairs. Let's go into this slightly, shall we? By this time, secure in his own ability and position,

Taylor had relaxed into his role as a military leader. He rarely, if ever, wore his uniform. And he slept, as most of the men did, which is wherever you could find in the camp. He did not stand on ceremony. As long as his men were getting the job done, that's all he cared about. Now, he spent the next three years in Florida, and this is where we get the story from the beginning. Ah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, this is one of three stories from

this time that I found. The second is very similar to the first. This is a new officer met a scruffy man drinking beer on his way to camp and chatted to him. Then, days later, upon reporting to the general, he saw that it was the very man he had been chatting to before. Worried that he'd been rude to the man drinking beer, the young officer apologised, and Taylor apparently replied, let me give you a piece of advice that may be of advantage to you. Never judge a stranger by his clothes. Nice. Get the feeling that Taylor spent all his time when he was off duty just hanging around miles from camp on the off-camps he'd stumble across a young officer that he could later embarrass.

More of a hobby. Well, the third story, yet another young officer. This one even more pompous than the first two. Excellent. Yeah, pencil-thin moustache. He'd been with the army for a while and was sick of all this mud and filth. That does havoc with your cuticles. Well, he sought out the general.

And after being persuaded that that old man over there in the tatty hat was in charge, he introduced himself. He was a gentleman's son and was not used to such conditions. You understand, old chap, what what? Bizarrely English as well. Yes, well, they all are in this podcast, aren't they? Yeah. Taylor responded by regretting that any man should suffer such conditions in a modern army.

But what am I to do? asked the officer. Taylor paused for a while and replied, Why, really, I don't know. Unless you take my place. The officer was shocked, but pleased. He assured Taylor that it wasn't his intent to turn the general out of his living quarters, obviously. No, no, it's fine. But since you offer, and you're up, if I could get a couple of hours of sleep, that would be marvellous.

I'm really tired. Asleep in your cot perfect face mask cucumbers over his eye sounds of the rainforest dream catcher behind him so yes he'd be terribly grateful so he therefore asked where the general slept taylor widened his arms indicating the muddy camp around them, and replied, About here, Woody. The officer apparently replied, Well, no wonder they call you old or often ready. And apparently everyone laughed, apart from Taylor.

How true these stories are, it's debatable. I mean, they all involve a young officer being really surprised. But it does show us how Taylor was perceived by the men at the time. Yes. And that's probably more important in lots of ways. Yeah. Because you don't just build that reputation up through nothing. Exactly.

Anyway, after three years in Florida, just like the previous generals getting nowhere with the Seminole, he requested a leave to sort out his plantation at home. Cook back the weeds. Well, sorry, hit the stays until they cook back the weeds. Exactly, yeah. Now, after a quick tour of the East, he returned home. And he was then put in command of Fort Gibson in Oklahoma,

where the Trail of Tears ended. Oh, good. That would be cheerful. Harrison had just become president. Harrison's just stopped being president. Oh. Well, actually, a small thing happened in between Harrison's rise and fall. One month.

Oh, yes. Yeah, it was three weeks, four days. Yeah, Taylor, in this month, made his first ever acknowledgement of politics. Or at least the first one we have a record of. I'm sure he's mentioned it before. He said, Hark, we have a president? Yes. Well, he wrote to the president, President Harrison, to express his disappointment with the corruption in the Jackson and Van Buren government. Ah, so he's got a where. Yes, i.e. the Democrats. So this is the first time we see that he has wig leanings. Obviously this goes nowhere because

Harrison then died and Tyler became president. In fact, Harrison was halfway through his letter response. Yeah, he was sorting it all out. I know exactly how to sort out all the... Yeah. So anyway, Tyler's now president and Taylor was transferred

to Arkansas for three years. Then Polk became president, and Taylor received an order. Go down to the border of Texas, just in case things go south with the whole let's get California thing that I've got going on. Sure enough, it was not long before the order came. Actually, go into Texas, would you? Set up camp in the disputed area.

In a place called Corpus Christi. Yeah. So, Taylor had to arrange to get his men into the disputed region. So he sent some of his men off marching and planned to take some of his men by sea. Therefore, he himself boarded a civilian steamer and headed to New Orleans, where he would then head south. On the boat, he bumped into none other than Jefferson Davis, his old son-in-law.

Oh, yeah. There was no longer any animosity between the two of them. Both of them losing, Sarah seemed to give them a bond. I was going to say, you'd create that, wouldn't you? Yeah. Davis informed Taylor that he was off to get married again, in the chairs, which is nice. And then after that, he

was just thinking of committing treason and starting a new country. Nice. Like you do. Yeah. Actually, no, he pops up again later before that. So yeah, from this point on, although their politics differed somewhat, they both get on quite well. Anyway, three weeks later, Taylor arrives in the disputed territory. The camp was set of around 3,500 men. Taylor saw this as a temporary stop. It was clear to all that this war with Mexico was coming. And soon, the order to invade would come, surely.

But it didn't. Polk was very busy trying to negotiate with the Mexicans, as we saw in his episode. Taylor was put on hold. And during this period of inactivity, we get a couple more stories about Taylor. This time, a young officer... Up to his old tricks oh

yeah i'm bored i'm not invading what shall i do i know i'm gonna go for a drink you there in your shiny new uniform let's have a chat well this time a young officer approached an old man who was cleaning his sword. The lieutenant offered a dollar for the old man to clean his sword as well. Dollars quite a lot back then. Bring up a good shine. Anyway, the next day, the officer was to report to Taylor. He went into the tent and,

oh, sure enough, he saw that the old man was Taylor. Oh my God. Who then asked for the dollar. You just know he's got a chalkboard somewhere with a tally on for the amount of his officers he can trick. Do you think he was the same officer the entire time?

Maybe. There were also stories that Taylor did not keep it a secret that he did not think annexing Texas was a good idea. He was tired with the idea of this upcoming war. Some speculated that he would soon return home and they'd find someone to replace him. He's there, he's doing his duty, but he's not feeling it.

No. It could cause problems in about 20 years. Anyway, men hunted. They collected firewood. They drilled, as in manoeuvres. Yeah, okay. They didn't just get their drills out and do some manly drilling. But maybe they did.

That's all we're often ready for, yeah. Hey guys, guys, I want you to drill these trees. Why? Anyway, they tried to keep themselves busy, basically. But after a few months, spirits start to sink. But by then, as we've seen, Polk's attempt at buying California and the disputed land had failed.

So at last, Taylor was ordered to the Rio Grande, the very border of Mexico. So going across the disputed territory, and really get up in Mexico's grill, I think is the official army terminology. Poke your nose in their lunchbox. Exactly. That's not a saying, is it? No. It should be. Anyway, Taylor was given an order.

Do not engage. Unless. Unless the Mexicans are hostile. But you have discretion as to what hostile means. In other words, find a way to make it look like they started it, would you? Yeah. So, they arrive in the Rio Grande. They set up a camp opposite the town of Metamoros, a town held by the Mexican army.

A meeting was set up. The Mexican general stated that Taylor was on Mexican soil and needed to leave. After all, this is the disputed territory. Mexico saw it as theirs as much as the US saw it as theirs. Taylor's envoys replied no make us so both sides set up cannons pointing right at each other across the river point blank i think in their faces barrels touching uh both sides however had orders not to start anything wait for the other side to start and then retaliate so one has the itchy trigger finger

trigger finger yeah so a stalemate ensued as you can imagine tensions rose and spirits fell on the u.s side they'd been camped in the wilderness now for months and across the river they could see the mexican army in relative comfort burritos empanadas tequila any stereotype you can think of yeah all the mexican things play with little chihuahua puppies yeah apparently there's a story of some of the women in the town because it wasn't deserted the town folk were still there some of the women would go swimming naked in the river and the u.s troops would just kind of watch going oh which is interesting sooner they all die to stand behind their cannons well some of the u.s forces actually swam out to try and meet some of the women at one point and the mexican soldiers just started shooting not at them but

like a few warning a few warning shots no you don't things like this were going on when eventually a couple of soldiers came into the camp one night with a daring tale of crossing the river they'd gone over to the mexican side and guess what they found over there a great night it was amazing we had a drink we chatted with the mexican soldiers we had a brilliant time nice many in the u.s camps started to wonder what exactly are we doing here especially since a lot of them were first generation immigrants from Ireland. There's a huge Irish contingent in this army. Brilliant. And many of them felt far more allegiance to the fellow Catholics in Mexico than the US.

Yeah. Which had only just recently become their homeland. Yeah, of course. So men started to desert. Top of the morning to you there. Who's your favourite pope pope gregory ah he's grand he's so grand i'm gregory oh that's a great impression that is just like he would have sounded so you got it's lovely i love your house um yeah so you got lots of mexicans and Irish people getting on.

They introduced the Mexicans to Guinness, and the Mexicans introduced the Irish to tequila. Yeah, it was just Guinness and tequila chasers. Oh. Yeah, the hangovers were awful. But they had a grand old time. Still, Taylor managed to hold firm. The desertions weren't enough that it was going to

cause too much of a problem, but it wasn't great. Anyway, one night he received a report of rumours of Mexican troops crossing the river upstream. Okay, maybe this is on. Taylor sent out a scouting party to go and investigate. So what exactly is happening here? The scouting party soon ran into the Mexicans and shots were fired. Sixteen US troops were killed. This is what they were waiting for. Taylor immediately sent a message to Polk, and I quote, hostilities may now be considered as commenced.

As we have seen, the Senate took very little persuading, and soon war was declared. Taylor, however, had a slight problem. His forces were actually currently split between two different camps that were 30 miles apart. One camp, the one opposite Metamoros that we've been talking about, he called Fort Texas because he wasn't great at names. The other camp was at Point Isabel. Taylor was confident that Fort Texas could withheld an attack, but he needed supplies. Equally, he wanted to check up on Port Isabel and make sure it was secure. So he decided to take some men and go to his second camp. You guys stay here, repel any attacks. I'll be back in a few days.

No more tequila. Yes. So the men crossed 30 miles of rough terrain in 21 hours. Taylor wanted to be quick about this. How long? How far, sorry? 30 miles of rough terrain in 21 hours. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's impressive.

That's speedy. So it would take... I googled map this. From where I live, it would take me about eight hours to walk to your house from here. Wow. But that's on roads and stuff as well. Yeah, that's nice and straight. I mean, it gets a bit wet and rainy, but...

Considering... What was it we had? Was it Polk as a child? It took him, was it five weeks to go 500 miles? Oh, yes. Something like that. It was a whole mile a week. Oh, after his operation, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So, yeah, compared to that. Sense of urgency. Yes, definitely. Come on, quickly. They arrived, and sure enough, Point Isabel did need some improvement. So Taylor ordered the camp be fortified, but then received news that Fort Texas, back by Metamorris, was under attack. Taylor, hoping that his assessment was correct, that the fort could indeed defend itself,

stayed at Point Isabel for a week to oversee the fortification. Then, once that was done, he ordered the men to get ready for battle and set off for Fort Texas once more. And sure enough, during this march, they met the Mexican army, who had indeed crossed the river. This was led by a man named Arista, and on the plains of Palto Alto, the forces lined up. Taylor was outnumbered 2,000 to 1. 2,000... To one. To one, no. I said that wrong, sorry. Taylor was outnumbered.

Mexicans, roughly 3,000. Taylor, roughly 2,000. Understandably, he set up defensively. The US forces managed to withstand all the attacks, relying heavily on their guns, which were superior to the Mexican ones. The Mexicans lost far more men than the US here, so they retreated and Taylor followed.

The next day, the armies clashed again, but this time Arista had set up more defensively. Behind things. Yeah. This time, Taylor was more proactive. He ordered a charge to capture the Mexican guns. Now, they weren't entirely sure where the Mexican guns were. They were being concealed. So someone in Taylor's army had a bright idea.

Let's just fire our cannon, and then they might fire theirs back. And then we spot them. That worked. Perfectly, yeah. The Mexicans foolishly fired back and gave away their position when they didn't need to. So after a couple of charges, the Mexican guns were indeed taken, and the Mexican troops started to fault. They retreated back over the Rio Grande.

Taylor had managed to chase the Mexican army out of the disputed land and back into Mexico. Nice. Well, once he arrived at Fort Texas, however, he discovered that, yes, the fort had indeed howled. Well done. But the man he left in charge, named Jacob Brown, had unfortunately died. Oh. Yes.

So the fort was renamed Fort Brown. Oh. Yeah, which eventually became the town of Brownsville, which is still there today. Okay. Anyway, Taylor then needed to plan what was going to happen next. One problem he was facing was the sheer number of militia men who had suddenly turned up.

8,000 men, in fact. That's great, but none of them had any training discipline or guns I mean they were enthusiastic no one's doubting how enthusiastic they are they're all like shaking their fists and looking furious

well hello boys nice to see you oh damn okay yeah unfortunately this was really straining his supplies somewhat. And also, let's not forget, he doesn't like militiamen. No. Still, he had a plan. He was going to cross the river, take Metamoros across the bank,

then move west and take the city of Monterrey, which was the largest city in the northern region of Mexico. To do this and to keep supplied, he realised he needed naval support to keep his supplying train safe and the supplies travelling up the river. Yeah. So therefore, he got in contact with Commodore David Connor.

Oh, that's a great name. Who was the officer in charge of the naval squadron currently at the mouth of the Rio Grande. Now, the two arranged to meet. Not wanting to be disrespectful to the Commodore, Taylor decided to change. He was currently wearing, and I'll quote here, grand now the two arranged to meet not wanting to be disrespectful to the commodore taylor decided to change he was currently wearing and i'll quote here a dusty green coat and a frightful pair of trousers maybe i had a really bad print on oh like um like palm leaves or something like that. Yes. He's there with just Bermuda shirts.

Yes. Flip flops. Oh, crocs. Oh, crocs. Yeah. Crocs and socks. Oh, no. Oh, the humanity.

Halfway off his calves. Oh. It's not good. It's not good at all. Yeah. Apparently these trousers and the dusty green coat made him look a bit like a toad when he was sat on his horse.

So anyway, he decided, okay, the Commodore's coming, let's be respectful. So he pulled out an old uniform from somewhere. He dusted it off, he got the creases out, added a sash, put a sword on it. Generally fancied himself up a little bit. Made himself look the part. Left the Crocs on it. Nice. Generally fancied himself up a little bit. Made himself look the part. Left the Crocs on, though. Rocky mistake. Yeah.

Then he awaited for Connor's arrival. Sure enough, his arrival was shortly announced, and then a man in civilian clothing walked in. Oh. Yeah. Connor, who had heard of Taylor's aversion to formality, had, out of respect, taken off his uniform and put civilian clothes on.

This is why communication is so important. Yeah. When you're getting your secretary to type to his secretary or write, you say... Yeah, when my people are talking to your people. Yeah. Dress code. Dress code. Yeah, get this sorted.

I'll be in the black. I should wear blue to compliment. Does anyone have a peanut allergy? Exactly. Yeah. These little things. Yeah, it just helps. It's allergy? Exactly. Yeah. These little things. Yeah. It just helps. It's quite funny though.

Yeah. Well, a man under Taylor at this time called Ulysses Grant. Ulysses S. Grant. Oh, yes. Put a box around him. Why? For reasons you'll find out. Anyway, Grant witnessed this and stated that the conversation after this point was largely awkward and apologetic.

I'm terribly sorry. I'm terribly sorry. Anyway, they got over this and everything was organised and Taylor was soon ready to invade Mexico. He sent word to Arista that Arista was to leave Metamoros and leave all the government property behind. You have 12 hours to respond. No reply came. So 12 hours later, Taylor crossed the river and entered the town to discover it completely empty of soldiers. Good. Civilians were still there, but soldiers were gone. The town was put under US military rule and the next stage was planned. Taylor set off for the city of Monterey, but once again, the militia were causing causing problems their lack of discipline and training meant that their camp was just more susceptible to disease and sure enough

many of them started to get sick and die yeah taylor lost about an eighth of his forces here although he did realize that well this is mostly the militia men so we're not actually really losing too much of a fighting force here that's, it's easier if they plant him. Sure enough, he was proved correct, because when arriving outside Monterey, the US troops viewed the city that was essentially a fortress. Low, flat-topped buildings used as elevated platforms by the Mexicans. This was a notoriously difficult place to take. However, Taylor split his forces into three

and attacked the city from different directions over a period of three days. Eventually, it became clear to the defenders that they would not be able to keep the U.S. forces out, and they surrendered. Taylor agreeing to an eight-week truce to allow the Mexican army to retreat. There you go. He now had the major city in the north of Mexico. Yeah, it's going well. Yeah. Yeah, it's going well.

Yeah. As we've seen, however, Polk, back in Washington, was not actually very happy with his general, suspecting him of being a bit whiggish. Ooh. Yeah, and also, you never know, might have presidential aspirations. Nah. Polk didn't like that.

However, the public back home were now hailing Taylor as the next national war hero in the style of Washington and Jackson. Well, yeah, he's getting results, isn't he? Yeah, exactly. We're now hailing Taylor as the next national war hero in the style of Washington and Jackson. Wow. Well, yeah, he's getting results, isn't he? Yeah, exactly. So due to public pressure, Polk was forced to promote Taylor to Major General. I am the very model of a modern Major General. I have information, vegetable, animal and mineral. He is the model of a modern Major General,

a venerated Virginian veteran whose men are all lining up. I thought you were going to do an amazing rhyme there, in some way. Just getting the line from Hamilton. Oh. Which obviously comes from... What's that called? Goodman Sullen, Major General. Yeah.

Anyway, he's now a Major General. Taylor then received orders from Polk, which essentially was, what on earth is this eight-week ceasefire that I've just heard about? Cease it immediately. We have ceased it, sir. Well, the order came through mere days from when the ceasefire was due to end anyway,

because obviously the time it took for messages to go forwards and back. So it made little difference in actuality, but Taylor was not happy at all. He refused to send notice of the end of the ceasefire to the new Mexican general. Instead, he told Polk's messenger that he could deliver it. Off you go. The Mexicans are that way. He then got on with his plans to keep taking over northern Mexico.

Polk, meanwhile, had ordered General Scott to go on with the plan to take Mexico City that we talked about last week. Yeah. This was a plan that perhaps we were a bit flippant about it last week. It did involve more than one step. It was to take Veracruz first to Port City that would then open up the path to Mexico City. Yeah. Now, what Taylor was unaware of, however, was the fact that Scott was going to

take a large chunk of Taylor's forces to do this. Taylor therefore received a suggestion that he made no more moves. Stay in Monterey, don't move around. Yeah. Taylor was confused by this. Why on earth should I do that? I'm making progress here. But it soon became clear why he should stay still when Scott informed him of the fact that he was taking Taylor's men. Taylor was furious, understandably. He'd done all the fighting so far and suddenly Scott was going to swoop in, take his men and then march on the Capitol. Yeah. But not much he can do. You've got to follow orders. So he does. No one realised how much danger Taylor was being put in there.

Because, unknown to the United States, the new president of Mexico, Santa Ana, had intercepted a letter from Scott talking about taking Taylor's men. So now the Mexicans knew that Taylor was undermanned. Now, Santa Ana, needing a win to secure his position, decided that taking out a weakened Taylor, who had got all the victories so far, was the best way to get that political win. So, Santa Anna marched with 20,000 men. That's a lot.

Yeah, these are numbers that we usually see in our Roman podcast. Not in this. This is a huge force for the times. Meanwhile, Taylor was getting reinforcements. Hooray! They were mostly untrained volunteers. Brilliant. Yeah. Now, he was attempting to make a decent fighting force out of this when the news came through. The Mexicans are coming. All of them. Now, Taylor had thought himself safe where he was, because in between his position and Santa Ana's was a desert that would be very hard to pass. Unless, of course, it's people that naturally live in that sort of environment. Well, not quite.

I mean, people who lived in that environment, i.e. the Mexicans, had developed a system of keeping large water storage tanks in the desert so troops could be moved around. However, Mexico, one of the first things they'd done at the start of the war was destroy those tanks to stop the US forces crossing the desert and moving south. Now that Santorana wanted to go north, he had to cross that desert without the water tanks. Oh dear. Yeah. So Taylor figured he'd probably be safe. It would be very hard for the Mexicans to come off. And he was right.

It was very hard. Santorana lost a quarter of his men. 5,000 men died crossing that desert. Don't think blazing heat. Think freezing cold. It was one of the harshest winters anyone had seen in a very long time. Oh, that's not good. Yeah, people were freezing to death.

Gosh. However, Santorana managed to get across, leaving 15,000 men. Taylor only had 5,000. Mostly new recruits. Yeah. Taylor, however, despite the numbers and the troops, decided this is still a fight he could win.

All he had to do was find a tavern somewhere, sit in the corner and wait for Santa Ana to come in And make a foolish mistake See what I'll polish his sword Well, Taylor set out with his forces And were lucky enough to find a very easily defendable position They were able to block off the road

The only road in the region, the going north And then to the side There was a high ground that had a plateau on it. So they secured that area. To the other side of the road was just lots of gullies that was just impassable. So Taylor blocked the road with some troops and held the high ground to the side of it. Santorana arrived. The two sides faced each other. The battle started. Now, although they were unable to push forward, the Mexicans were able to scale the highland

and take the plateau from the US relatively easily because of their numbers. One officer turned to Taylor and said, General, we are whipped. Taylor said, there's no time for that now. No, he said That is for me to determine The US then attempted to take back

The plateau and the fighting Went back and forth for a while Both sides making gains but then losing Jefferson Davis Who's suddenly back on the scene again He'd come down He was in charge of some of the troops And he led a push on the plateau and was able to push

back some of the Mexican cavalry at one point. Just push the horses down the side. Well the cavalry charged and Jefferson Davis's men had perhaps accidentally formed an inverted V. So the horses charged into that V and were shot from two different sides. Yeah it was a pincery kind of thing. Yeah apparently we're not sure whether that was intended or just look of the battlefield but it worked out very well yeah it put a stop dead to that Mexican charge so that went well however shortly after that the Mexicans pushed back caught the US out of formation, and managed to inflict severe casualties as the US troops tried to get off the plateau and ended up in a bit of a valley and was just surrounded and killed. Yeah, over half of the US casualties took place in that one push.

Wow. Yeah. Henry Clay died. Oh, did he? Obviously not the politician. This is Henry Clay died. Oh, did he? Obviously not the politician. This is Henry Clay Jr., the politician's son. Oh. Yeah, so he died. Henry Clay, by the way, is busy fighting politically

against this war taking place at this point. Right, I can see why. And his son dies in it. Yeah. Anyway, after a day and a half of fighting, Taylor had managed to stand his ground, but things looked bad. The next day, it seemed very likely he would lose to the superior numbers.

There's only so much you can do here. Dawn occurred. Time for that famous last stand. However, everyone was amazed to see the Mexicans had left in the night. Oh. Yeah. Unknown to the US forces, Santa Ana had ran out of food three days previously. Ooh.

There's only so much you can carry on a battle when no one's got any food left. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, so he simply could not continue and was forced to retreat. Taylor had won a huge victory. Won? He won. Okay, yeah, he won. This is what counts as victories in wars back then in America.

I mean, the fact he hadn't lost, though, was impressive. Yes. And Santorini returned to the capital with only half the men he set out with. That is 10,000 men no longer able to be put in Scots way when Scott attacked. So this was a huge victory for the US. Oh, yeah, yeah. yeah. Strategically. Yes. Definitely. I think the US can definitely chalk this one up as a win. Okay. Yeah. So there you go. The war was all but won. As we saw, things kind of went on for a little bit. Some stuff happened in California. But essentially, this is Taylor's final point in the war. After this, Scott takes the capital and things go very well for the United States.

And that is where we're going to end it this week. The victory of the war. Interesting. So there you go. That is Zachary Taylor so far. Interesting. Very interesting. Quite successful.

I think some of the success is due to chance but he obviously he's got some good prowess i wonder if that'll continue his political side where he'll just make lots of bad decisions and get kicked out simply for variety it's quite nice seeing a non-politician for a change to see what's going on in some of those wars we've talked about before so yeah there you go. Do you think he'd make a good president? I don't know, that's what I'm trying to decide. I'm not quite sure.

Do you think he'll spend all his time in Washington DC, in various pubs or bars? Young members of the Senate. Yeah. Right, okay then. Well, that's this week. Thank you very much for listening to part one of Zachary Taylor. Don't forget you can download us on Podbean,

iTunes and Stitcher. And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Leave a review. That helps us. Yes. Leaving a review will be very helpful. We should read some of the US ones out. Yeah, we will. We've got a few now. So thank you very much for those of you who have left reviews. We really appreciate it.

Next time, Zachary part two. Sounds good. Until then, goodbye. Goodbye. General Teller, sir. Lieutenant Buttlesworth, reporting for duty. Ah, good to see you, Lieutenant Buttlesworth, reporting for duty. Ah, good to see you, Lieutenant Buttlesworth. How's your journey here? Um, swift, sir. I came here straight away.

Do you notice anything peculiar about me? I'm sorry, sir? Do you not recognise me? Recognise you? Should I recognise you? No, no problem, no problem. So, how was your journey here? Like I say, swift, sir. Did you not stop off anywhere? Stop off? Oh, um... Maybe like an inn in Dented Shield?

Well, I might have stopped off for a... Three-day bender? Well, I possibly might have lasted a bit longer than I first anticipated, sir You drank their entire supply of ale But how could you possibly know... Hang on Yes? The old man

The old man in the corner who I was talking to What about him? No Was... was that you, sir? No That was not me Oh In that case, I only stopped for a couple of ales and I moved on.

No, you didn't. On day three, you ordered some questionable sandwiches. But hang on, the elderly Belgian man. With a large moustache. The one who served me the sandwiches. But it can't be. Was that you? No, that was not me either. Oh, Oh, well, in that case, after the sandwiches, I left promptly. What about on the fifth day? Oh, God. When you got your clothes cleaned? The washerwoman! You were the washerwoman! I was not the washerwoman.

Oh. However, on the sixth day... Oh, dear. There was a peculiar knock on the door. Three taps followed by one long tap. Oh yes, I remember finding that strange at the time. And the door creaked open. And in hobbled a middle-aged man with one eye.

Whose dialect indicated he had passed through Paris a time or two. And maybe wintered in Britain. Whose home could only be from number 43. Paradise Lane. Vienna. Austria. He hobbled in with his wooden leg, whitewashed, of course. His blue uniform stained with the splash marks of soil and mud from feculent horses. The postman! His hair hanging lankly to the sides of his neck. His beard clearly hocked under his ears with clips.

And of course, a tragic but believable backstory. He stumbled into the room. He placed the letters on the table with a scarred hand with miraculously maintained nails. He placed the letters on the table and he slowly turned

to you. With his one eye, he looked into your eyes he looked into your soul he looked into the truth didn't he he did you're trying to tell me that you yes you were yes i was a neatly arranged bundle of letters i knew it i knew it i thought that bundle of letters. I knew it! I knew it! I thought that bundle of letters winked. Just Swan's arm sticking out of the ground, put your bog roll on it. Toilet rolls. Very convenient, actually.

Yes, it is. We spend too much time with each other. Literally waiting for you to finish your sentence so I could say that. Wait! So this Fort Knox is the one that's now the

gold bullion depository? No.