American Presidents: Totalus Rankium - 15.1 James Buchanan

Episode Date: April 26, 2019

James Buchanan has not gone down too well in history. His name is synonymous with the onset of the civil war. But was he really that bad? Well... quite possibly. But just how bad? I mean, his early life, surely that was not too bad? Find out in this week's Totalus Rankium! 

Welcome to Totalus Rankium. This week, James Buchanan Part 1. Hello and welcome to American Presidents Totellus Rankium. I am Jamie. And I'm Rob, ranking all of the presidents from Washington to Trump. And this is episode 15.1, James Buchanan. And is your accent going to steadily get more American as we go on? Yeah, every now and again I drop in the odd word. By the time we're on Trump or perhaps Pence's episode. Or Biden's episode. Yeah. Or Biden's episode, you never know.

I don't know. I'll be full on American accent. Yeah, I like it. Right, okay then. Let's get started. So it's not going to be gradual, it's just going to be the occasional phrase. I think that's how it happened. Right, okay.

It's James Buchanan. He was last week, last episode's deputy, wasn't he? Vice President. No. Oh. Oh, he's lost, isn't he, to Buchanan? Yes. Yeah, you recognise his name because he has cropped up every now and again.

Yeah. In democratic conventions, as you will see. But he wasn't, no, he wasn't Vice President. Oh. No, he wasn't. But you'll find out. Okay. Let's start the episode, shall we?

Oh, yes. I like these starters. Here we these starters here we go here we go right fade in close-up of a young woman sleeping in her bed very peaceful dark room yeah but it's obviously daytime it's morning but the curtains are still closed okay you're slowly pulling back it's like start right on on the face and you're slowly pulling back pulling back pulling. This is sounding rude. No, no, no, it's not meant to be rude. Okay. She's under the covers and everything. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. You hear off camera the sound of someone entering the room, kind of nattering away. You work out that this must be her sister. She obviously says something like, come on, sister, like they do in films to establish character. Yeah. Yeah. In a really lazy way. Yeah. Unfortunately unfortunately this is one of those type of films come on sister whose birthday it is

today there's a lot of exposition right at the start let's open the curtain and look at the beautiful washington philadelphia actually that's where they are that's what i said that's what you said anyway so you're still pulling back. You've not cut at all. You've still just focused on this young lady in her bed. By this point, you can see most of the bed. Yeah. And you can hear her sister walking around.

Suddenly, you hear the curtains opening and light spills into the room. Nice. And the sister keeps talking about how Anne needs to do something cheerful today. Something to buoy her spirits a bit. Oh, is this Anne? Well, yes. Yeah, you see, because she said something along the lines of, come on, sister, who's in the bed, whose name is Anne.

Is that where the Anne in Buchanan comes from? No. All right. So you're still pulling back. You're about halfway across the room at this point. They both turn and look, why is that guy walking backwards? Then the sister walks towards the bed. And just as she leans over her sister, you as the camera have reached the door and you just pull out of the room.

Right. And you're backing down the corridor as the screams start. Oh. Oh, dear. Yeah. Not a good end for her. No. No. Is that why she didn't respond?'s that's it that's what the screams are you're not responding because you've actually

died in the night omg there's no pulse yeah it's a straight tv film this one yeah the dad's walking holy exposition yeah get. Get the priest. Anyway, smash the black. Actually, no, scream white, because it's one of those type of films. Scream white. Batman style. You're canon. Yeah.

There you go. He's not going to do well, is he? We'll have to wait and see so i was kind of thinking it it can't really get any worse than pierce from last time but if i've learned anything from the roman podcast it can always get worse yes right okay james buchanan let's do this in 1791 james buchanan was born in a log cabin. Very fashionable at the time. Very fashionable. His father, James Buchanan Senior, was an orphan who'd arrived from Ireland nearly 20 years previously.

Irish. Irish, yes. Irish family. Irish Scots family. So James Senior had moved to the Americas and moved in with an uncle who owned a tavern. Yeah, which makes sense. You're in Ireland. There's not much to do. What shall I do? Drink. I've got an uncle who owns a pub. Just across the ocean. Oh, babe.

Let's go and live with him. I mean, you wouldn't call it your local, would you? Not necessarily, no, but you would once you got there. Yes. Anyway, James Senior saved and saved and worked and worked while important men were creating the Constitution in Philadelphia. Because this is around this time. Quite far back then, aren't we?

Well, yeah, we're before 1790s. We're right back at the start again. That's where we are. Anyway, eventually he gained enough money to buy a trading post in Cove Gap buying and selling goods to those heading over the mountains

and into the west. The pioneers. Yeah. So you get your pioneer hat from him. And your pioneer stick. Yeah. You need your stick.

Your leather waistcoat. Yeah. And your accent. Yes. Yeah. You get all those stuff from him. Thank you.

Here's my pipe. I've got my hat and my accent. Let's go over them there hills. Exactly, yeah. Buy me some gold. So, it was about this time that James Senior met Elizabeth Spear, the daughter to his uncle's neighbour. Anyway, the two married and started having children. Oh.

Eleven in total. Wow. Yeah, they did not waste any time or have much else to do. I know. First up was a daughter who unfortunately did not last long. She died very early. But then they had a son who is our James Buchanan. So he's the eldest.

He's the eldest, yeah. James Senior was doing all right for himself. They were able to move to a larger estate, a farm near the town of Merseburg. Then another daughter came along and then another daughter and then the family moved into the town properly so they were able to

upsize yet again. By this point several investments that James Senior had made had paid off and the Buchanans were the wealthiest family in town. Nice. Yeah. Had a nice two-story brick house they got for themselves. Brick house?

Brick house. Wow. It's fancy. That is very fancy. Fancy stuff. Yeah, so this town had about 80 families in it, so it was... Not a village, isn't it? Not tiny, but not huge.

Yeah. James would have been about four years old when the president george washington came to stay in a nearby tavern during the whiskey rebellion do you remember the whiskey rebellion vaguely yeah some people were quite upset about paying taxes on whiskey oh you would be yeah uh then george washington led the troops himself only president to lead troops in battle there was no battle. All the whiskey rebellers kind of saw the soldiers and went, actually, we're paid.

Fair enough. How do you put it that way? But as you can imagine, this ignited patriotic fever within the town. So much so, one of James's younger brothers was called George Washington Buchanan. Oh. Yeah. For. Yeah. For goodness sake. But he arrived a bit later because by this point,

James was the big brother to five little sisters. And he helped his mother to look after them. That's what he did with his days. His first education was from his mother. And he could have done a lot worse. Elizabeth Spear was a rarity for the time because she had a decent education. She quoted Milton and Shakespeare to her children. Like you do.

Once more into the bridge to her friends. And we're going to the toilet. Yeah, things like that. Not only that, she'd also read the papers and discuss public affairs with little James whilst they, I can only assume, herded all the little girls around the house. Tied together.

Yeah, so they don't get lost. Oh, little sheep. And whose economic reform do you believe in, little James? Are you a Hamiltonian man or a Jeffersonian? Lego. It's good. When people are often exposed to that sort of thing, you do absorb it. Yeah, definitely.

And James said later in life about his mother she excited my ambition by presenting in glowing colors men who had been useful to their country or their kind as objects of imitation what she was a bit of an inspiration by pointing out other inspirational people oh so yeah um there was a little school in this town called the Old Stone Academy because presumably it was old and made of stone. But this is America, so

old was probably, it was built last week. Yes. It's ancient. Anyway, he studied Latin, Greek, mathematics, literature and history when he was there. And apparently he excelled in all subjects. You have a polymath.

Oh, yeah. So, yeah, he did really well at school. Well enough that when he was old enough, James Senior was able to send his son to Dickinson College. Dickinson College. Oh, yes. No one made fun of it at all. No, not at all. No.

Oh, yes. No one made fun of it at all. No, not at all. So in 1807, at the age of 16, James Buchanan sets off to attend the junior class with 14 other students. Oh, nice small class, eh? Yeah, I know. It would be nice, wouldn't it? So far, James comes across as the perfect son, really, doesn't he? Helping out at home with his little sisters, doing really well in the old academy. Yeah, discussing current affairs with his mother whilst quoting Milton.

In Latin. In Latin. Yeah, all very good. But when he gets to college, freedom kind of goes to his head. Yay! He fell in with a group of boys that liked nothing more on an evening

than going to the local tavern, getting stupidly drunk, and then generally causing trouble, throwing food at people, breaking windows, etc, etc. Typical students, basically. He's just a student. He's just having fun. He's just being a student.

Yeah, I mean, this kind of thing, as we've seen before, is fairly typical. The principal at this college that was apparently a bit run down and lacking money, so they're already a bit stressed. Yeah. Yeah, fearing they were going to close down. And the principal complained of a culture of, and I quote, drunkenness, swearing, lewdness and duelling.

Oh. Yes. Again, a bit of an escalation. Yeah. So it was a nice, pleasant debate about economics, and suddenly pistols are out. Yeah. James Buchanan was in the middle of all of this. He later blamed it on a nice, pleasant debate about economics, and suddenly pistols are out. Yeah. James Buchanan was in the middle of all of this.

He later blamed it on peer pressure, and I'll quote here, In order to be considered a clever and spirited youth, I engaged in every sort of extravagance and mischief. Ooh. Every sort. Ooh. You name mischief. Apparently he did it.

He put jelly in people's socks when they put their socks on. Oh, swelch. Yeah. A lot of peril first thing in the morning as well. Exactly. Would you do it really jelly or would you do it really stiff jelly? As in you'd put the jelly in the sock so it's foot-shaped in the fridge, then put it out.

Yeah, you'd put the cubes in, jelly cubes, and then the water in the sock and stir it lots, then put it in the fridge, wait 24 hours. That's quite an elaborate prank. Mischief. Yeah. So that's what he got up to one day though he went too far possibly with the jelly pranks because he was expelled he was expelled for bad behavior it's only custard it's too far too far custard in a hat so put hat on oh head again is it the thick custard the sort of almost like a solid or is it the drippy custard oh drippy custard yeah i think yeah then you'd have to blame

the person for not you know picking up the hat going this hat feels and smells different it's bright yellow on the inside what's going on well i couldn't actually find out why he was expelled i looked in various places. It just says the bad behaviour, and it all gets hushed up, as we'll see in a moment. So obviously, we can speculate, and we're speculating custard. Yeah. Yeah. His Presbyterian rector, along with his father, kind of have words with the college, and perhaps, and we have no proof of this, but perhaps a little bit of money is exchanged. As I said, the college was struggling and all of a sudden, turns out that it was fine. It was fine.

That member of staff actually likes custard, had put custard in his hat as a midnight snack and forgotten about it and blamed poor James. All these things happen now. They do, don't they? Yeah. So he was back in school. Wonderful. Wonderful.

Yes. He graduated a year later, but felt very bitter about the whole experience. He was soon ahead of everyone in the class once he'd been let back into school. He was really good at studying. And then graduation came upon them. And he just assumed he would get both honours that the school awarded at the end of each year. The school gave out two honours, and they were his. He got them in the bag. However, the faculty were not happy with him. They did not like young James Buchanan. He'd swanned back in, all of them still picking custard

out of their ears. He's got this free pass back into the school and he just acts in an arrogant way, assuming that he should be given the honours when you've got people in there who've actually worked hard do you think for lunch he said you know those i don't know what they're called it's like a thick puff pastry layer custard and then another puff pastry layer some icing on top that's what it's called custard slice i think yeah he always had them he just sat there eating a big grin on his face yeah just just staring at faculty members not paying attention so the custard's going all over his mouth.

Yeah. Just staring. And he's letting it drip onto his shirt as well. Yeah. What you gonna do about it? My daddy's rich. Yeah.

He's paying for your job. Well, this is what the faculty did about it. They withdrew his name for the nomination for the honours. Ooh. Yeah, James was outraged and threatened to lead a student boycott of the ceremony.

So no students will come to the graduation. Graduations are boring. Yeah, I'm guessing the fact he went great. He'll have to sit through that this year. So unless you give me both awards, I will organise a boycott. That's what he said. Bit sulky. It's a bit, isn't it?

Bit of throwing your toys out the pram. A bit of a move, shall we say. Yeah, he's throwing your custard out the trifle. Yeah, exactly. Tensions rose in the college until James Buchanan Senior got involved. A compromise was worked out. James would back down

and the boycott would be lifted and he would get one of the awards. And here's some money to make the whole thing go away again. Here's your wage for this month. James Buchanan later in life blames the school for his behaviour, describing it as being in a wretched condition and lacking discipline. So I was awful in college because the college let me be awful. Your dad let you be awful to be fair. Yeah. Anyway, later in life, in

retirement, the college wrote to him asking for a donation to aid his old school. It was still really struggling financially. James Buchanan replied and I quote, the world is greatly mistaken as to the amount of my fortune. Yeah, he never forgave for college. Oh, that's holding a grudge, isn't it? It really is. Now, obviously, when James left college, he did what everyone did back then. Lawyer.

He became a lawyer. Couldn't move for lawyers back then, clearly. I think that was the only job you could get. Yes. Peasant. Lawyer. Yeah. That's your choice. That was it. Oh, you sometimes get. Yes. Peasant. Lawyer. Yeah. That's your choice.

That was it. Oh, you sometimes get newspaper editors. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And prospectors. Cowboys. Yeah. Old cowboys.

Yeah. That's it. Anyway, so he went down the old lawyer route he did. He moved to the capital of Pennsylvania. At this time, it was the city of Lancaster. And he worked for the most eminent lawyer of the state, a man named James Hopkins. He spent the next two and a half years scribing, reading, memorising law codes. Fun. Well, this is something he'd do whilst walking the streets around Hopkins' law firm, apparently.

I will quote here, I studied the law, and only the law. Sounds like Robocop. Yes, I do. I am the law. It really does sound overly dramatic, that, doesn't it? Apparently he gained a bit of a reputation for just walking the streets reciting law to himself. So it would just be memorised. You see the traffic codes and stuff walking down the street.

Yeah, pointing at people. Traffic code violation 3478, donkey parked, in reverse. Yeah, he used to do that. Oh, wonderful. Traffic violation 473. Break light down on your carriage. Turn out brake lights. It's just a man holding a candle at the back. See, every carriage

had that. He had a person chasing him with a red candle. Yeah, did. Safety. James's father, perhaps worried that his son was still as wild as he was back in the college days, wrote to him to tell him to beware of temptations of city life, and reminded his son that he had days, wrote to him to tell him to beware of temptations of city life and reminded his son that he had gone out of his way to help him,

and it was now James' responsibility to compensate the family by, and I quote, gaining the station in society that you will occupy. So all the pressure is on now. Yeah. I've dragged myself up from nothing. I was born on a farm in Ireland. Now you have a chance, son.

Stop messing about. He's got an Irish accent as well. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he would. Yeah. I'm not doing that. Are you not? I don't know what you'd say other than, top of the morning to you there, laddie.

Which no one says. Apart from James Buchanan Senior. Yes, which is fortunate. Yes, it is. Do you think when he talks about James Buchanan Sr. Yes, which is fortunate. Yes, it is. Do you think when he talks about, you know, please avoid all the temptation in the city, he's basically saying, don't get somebody pregnant. Quite possibly. Don't catch anything. Yeah.

Don't get really drunk and burn down the lawyer's firm that you work at. Don't turn cows upside down. Yes. Those kind of things. Yeah. Which is fortunate, because James didn't do any of those things. That's good. He studied and then he passed the oral exam that we've come across before. Well done for keeping a straight face.

Remember back then you didn't need to sit in the bar or anything. You just had to go to a meeting with someone who said, yeah, he'll be an all right lawyer. And then you got to pass. Easy times. Yes, he did that. Although James probably actually had to know things, which he did. But he wasn't able to just answer the question of name.

And then everyone would be really impressed. Because he didn't have a big name behind him. So yeah, he probably had to actually know his stuff. Know his eminence. I am the law. He's going to say that. Yes. So what do you know about the law?

I am the law. Okay. Give him the bar. Give him the bar. Actual physical bar. That's what you get. That's what you get. Yeah. Still bar. I've heard. So yeah he was a good lawyer now that he was one. He soon made a name for himself and his ability to win cases. There was one case that has come down to us where he wins the whole case in just one line of questioning. Oh. which is quite impressive. It was you that done it, wasn't it? Yes. I mean, no!

Damn it! People in the viewing gallery whispering to each other, the man's a genius. God, he's brilliant. Not quite. Still very impressive. This was when he was defending a man who was charged with threatening the life of another man.

In front of a lot of witnesses as well. Yeah. So to make it easier, let's give the person on the stand a name. Hickory. Hickory is the man who had been threatened. And he'd been threatened by... Redwood. By Redwood, yes.

And James Buchanan was defending redwood yeah even though everyone had seen redwood had done this yeah yeah so this is what happened and i'll quote james here well sir suppose you were a man with more nerve a man not easily frightened by threats. Put yourself in the position of a courageous man. Would you have cared for the threat of my client? At that point, obviously, Hickory was visibly annoyed and replied, I am a man of as much courage as anybody, sir. James then replied, Then you were not frightened when my client threatened you.

No, sir. Well, you're not afraid of him then. No, I'm not. James then pauses for a while and then said, well, then why did you bring this charge for? I move for dismissal. That's quite good. And the case was just chucked out there on that.

Yeah, because if Hickory would, his real name, would have admitted, yeah, but he threatened me. He'd look like a weakling. Yeah, exactly. That wouldn't pass nowadays. You'd like to think that. Oh, yeah.

Anyway, outside of his job, he rose in the Lancastian society, which just sounds like we're doing the War of Moses all of a sudden, but we're not. Yeah, he joined the Masons, like many people did not good yeah that's nice ceremonial hammer probably had not in any way sinister inauguration ceremony or anything no hoods and flaming torches no no or straight straight down the middle it was yeah definitely no drinking from silver chalices no no virgin maidens yeah that's that's true. Because no women, obviously. Later in life, he actually became the leader of his lodge. So he rose in the Masons at one point.

He also was the president of the Washington Association, which was an organisation of federalists, and they organised balls and things. So he's a young, up-and-coming socialite, basically. Okay. The war in 1812 breaks out, and he publicly denounces the president's leadership. This is Madison, obviously. However, despite his reservations with the war,

he said it was the duty of all Americans to sign up to the local militia. Did he? Yes, he did. In 1814, he joins the Pennsylvanian militia. This local branch was sent towards Baltimore because things were going down there. And James was one of 10 volunteers who were sent on a mission

to go and round up some horses for the militiamen. Now, this was all kept a very quiet mission, a secret mission, because it was a case of, go and get the horses, you young fellows. What horses would they be? Just go and get some horses. Take the horse mufflers if you turn up with horses we won't ask any questions let's just put it like that we need

some horses yeah i mean it doesn't look great but they're essentially just going off and stealing some poor farmer's horses but yeah there you go it's the only source of horses around the the show jumping championship horses around the the show jumping championship horses across the road well they'll have to do that pristine thoroughbreds uh they have war horses very tetchy around loud noises well fortunately they didn't need to use these because the war was wrapping down by this point anyway so it was fine uh the british had pulled out of baltimore and buchanan's unit wasbanded. So that's all he did during the war, is he stole some horses. Nice.

It's better than just falling down a flight of stairs, which we've had before. So he returned to Lancaster, and he took up a seat in the Pennsylvania Assembly as a Federalist. He's making his way into state politics. And he settles down into his life. He makes quite a lot of money as a lawyer, and he served the state assembly that met three months of the year, so it was hardly full going. Nice.

I mean, he'd have jobs to do between. Oh, yeah, but he had his lawyering to do elsewhere. I mean, his father wrote to him worried that being on the state assembly would eat into his earnings as a lawyer, but actually the opposite was true. With all the connections James was making, he doubled his income that year. Oh, nice.

Yeah, because he just knew the right people to talk to all of a sudden. And then he met Anne Coleman. Oh. Oh, you remembered the name then. Yeah. Through a mutual friend. Anne was quite the catch, because she was the daughter of one of the wealthiest men in the entire country,

Robert Coleman, a rags-to-riches immigrant from Ireland, who had made a fortune in the iron business. So James and Anne first met in 1818 at a ball, and soon their relationship grew. They went on sleigh rides together, they joined each other at parties, and danced at balls, and all the stuff you can imagine people doing in a period drama. Oh, lovely.

Yeah. I need to tell you something, Anne. What is it? I love you. I can't. I just can't. She runs out the room. Then, you know, eventually at the end, you know, she says, oh, I love you too.

In the rain. She's got a white shirt on. Yeah. In the middle of a road, a gravel road that's hogging in the rain he's got a white shirt on yeah in a right in the middle of a road like a gravel road there's hugging in the rain it's pouring down we'll come back to that image really yeah we'll see if if you think it was really like that when we get to the end of this small story i was like that okay okay well james was worried that he was punching above his weight socially i mean he's doing all right for himself,

but she's the daughter of the richest man in the country, at least one of them. But still, he continues anyway. One thing he had going for him was that Anne, at 23, was above the typical marrying age. Reasons for her being unmarried are unknown, but some historians blame it on her having, and I'll quote here, a complex personality apparently she would swing between being and again i quote proud and south-willed tender and affectionate quiet and introspective or giddy and wild or in other words she just had a strong personality and misogynistic

early america went no too much you should be quiet and thankful. Yes, exactly. Another reason why perhaps she hadn't married yet was her father. 71-year-old Robert was apparently everything that you would imagine from a new money Irishman with an eligible daughter. He just suspected that any suitor was just after his daughter for one thing and one thing only. A huge tracts of land. You can't put your hands on my daughter's tracts of land. Yes. They're not for you to hold. Well, it did not help that Robert was a trustee at Dickinson's College

and therefore would know all about James Buchanan's college days. Oh, yeah. That's awkward. That is a bit awkward. He was the chair of governors at the time. Yeah. However, by the end of 1819, the two were engaged,

but things then quickly went downhill. When she died. Not yet, wait for it. James headed to Merseburg, so where his parents lived, to go and tell his parents that he was engaged to a wealthy young maiden. How nice.

Then he really took his time coming back. Like, went on a bit of a holiday. Stayed at several hotels and saw the sights. When he finally got back to Lancaster, he informed his fiancée that he was too busy with work to see her. Anne, a little bit hurt, became more so when James then announced he was moving to Philadelphia to work for a while. He's got a lawsuit to work on. He's off to do some work. He did not see Anne throughout the entire fall of that year.

By fall, do you mean autumn? I do mean autumn, yeah. Anne and her parents began to worry. A neighbour later said, and I'll quote her, James Buchanan did not treat her with the affection that she expected from the man she would marry, and in consequence of his coolness, she wrote him a note telling him that she thought it was not regard of her that was his object, but instead her riches. So she's starting to worry.

He's got the engagement, and now he's just swelling off doing whatever he wants. Upon hearing this, James heads back to Lancaster. But before seeing his fiancée, he decided to stop at a friend's house for a while. Unfortunately, his friend's sister-in-law was staying there at the time and she was described as, I quote,

pretty and charming. Now in Lancaster society, words soon spread. James Buchanan was back in town, but spending all his time with this pretty, charming young woman instead of his fiancée. And here's of this. I decided to write one more letter. In this one, it was clear that she wanted to call the wedding off.

I want to call the wedding off. It said, yeah. James received this letter when he was in court, so he still hadn't got to visit. Actually, in the middle of giving a speech Yeah According to a witness he went pale When he read it

But apart from that he did nothing He didn't try and contact Anne Anne under persuasion of her mother Went to Philadelphia to try and cheer herself up So Anne and her sister and mother Go off to Philadelphia for a few days. It's a couple of days later that James hears that Anne is dead. How she died is unclear.

Officially, she is said to have gone into hysterics and died. More likely, she took an overdose of the laudanum that she'd been prescribed. Right. Yeah. So she's dead. Her death is on your hands, Buchanan. So going back to that lovely montage of their engagement that you created,

running through the rain and James being really... Yeah, then he got more distant afterwards. There's lots of rain and tears and announcements of love. The rain never stops. He just carried on raining. Things became frosty. Oh, yeah. Someone sobered but it started to sleet. tears and announcements of love. The rain never stops. It just carried on raining. Things became frosty. Oh, yeah.

So much so that it started to sleet. Oh, that's a stubborn weather. Not lovely snow. No. It just sleeps. Harsh sleep. Like, it hits you in the face. Like being blown by the wind.

Jones was wracked with grief. He went to stay with a friend and attempted to write a tribute to Anne, but apparently it was his friend who wrote it in the end because he couldn't quite bring himself to write it. He did write a letter to Robert Coleman, which was never delivered, so he either never sent it or it was returned back to him unopened. But in it, he did write, and I quote,

I feel my happiness will be buried with her in the grave. If that was the case, he wouldn't see his happiness being buried because Robert Coleman refused to let James come to the funeral. Really? Oh, wow. Yeah. Gossip flew around Lancaster and James did not come out of it well, shall we say.

Yeah. Yeah, he just came across as a bit of a heartless person who drove his fiancée to suicide. Right. Well, to be fair, it's the kind of personality you expect from a politician. heartless person who drove his fiancée to suicide. Right. Hmm. Well, to be fair, it's the kind of personality you expect from a politician.

Possibly. I mean, also should be mentioned, perhaps, the Coleman family clearly wasn't a happy one because Anne's sister also commits suicide when her father, Sir Robert Coleman, breaks off their marriage. So, yeah, things aren't great. But yeah, even so, James doesn't come out of this story well, does he?

No. Anyway, he attempts to put all this behind him, and he carried on with his career. And he did well enough, because he's elected to Congress. Ooh. Yes, national politics. However, feelings of joy were short-lived, because the news reaches him his father had just been killed in a carriage accident. Tried to find out details but couldn't, so I'm going to say straight off a cliff.

Like a horse just keeps going or it turns and the carriage sort of topples over? No, full-on roadrunner. Or it hovers in the air for a few seconds, they look down and go, uh-oh. It's only when James Buchanan Sr. looks out the window and says, I say driver, we appear to have run out of road. But then, then it falls. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Too soon? Yeah. Couple hundred years. It's fine. So, not feeling too happy, James heads home. Apparently, he was annoyed to find that his father had left no will, leaving it all up to him to sort out all the affairs of the family. He was now the head of the family.

He's now got lots of orphaned nieces and nephews and things to sort out. I think all the money should go to me. Pans over, there's lots of just starving nephews and nieces. And the house. Me again, I think would be a splendid idea. Excuse me. You can keep your rags. Uncle James, I'm so hungry.

Have a cabbage. No, he does sort out his nieces and nephews. You'll be pleased to know. But he's soon back to Washington to start his career as a national politician. Now, by this time, the Federalists have collapsed, as he was a Federalist himself. And the Democrats were emerging from the original Republican Party. Buchanan found himself siding more and more with this emerging Democrat Party, so he spends the next decade working in the House of Representatives, becoming formally a Democratic

politician during this. He gained a reputation for himself as being a middling politician, shall we say. He worked hard and he didn't use his seat as a place to snooze before drinking in the evening, like some did. But he was hardly up there with the likes of Clay and Calhoun and Webster. He's not a big name. The big names did notice him, however. Clay in particular took a disliking to James Buchanan. He mocked Buchanan's eyes at one point,

alluding to the fact that James was slightly cross-eyed. Quote Clay here, I often suppose the gentleman is looking at me when in fact he's quite often looking the other way. That's true. No one laughed. He's just a bully. Yeah, yeah.

Clay does not come off well here. No. No, apparently James would, because his eyesight in one eye was much better than the other so he'd quite often be leaning his head to one side when he'd look at people which made it look like he was really listening intently to them, which worked in his favour quite

well. Yeah, a bit like that. Our listeners will appreciate that. Yes. Clay also noticed that James had managed to get to the age of 35 without taking any and I quote, fair lady under his protection. I did actually, but I killed, I mean... Drove her to, no.

Treat her like, no. Well, this wasn't a reference to Anne, but a reference to the rumour going around that he was an Aunt nancy an aunt nancy which was the phrase used at the time to indicate someone who was gay one of the reasons for this rumor was that james had recently met the person who without a doubt becomes the greatest love of his life which is william king now william was five years older older than James and had recently become one of the first senators for the new state of Alabama.

King and Buchanan quickly realised they've got lots in common. Neither particularly enjoyed the company of women. They went off and committed suicide and stuff, which is really annoying. Always let you die. Both men were seen as fairly effeminate. Both enjoyed clothing. In particular, they collected silk handkerchiefs together.

Okay. In other words, in today's society, they would have been seen as somewhat camp. Their friendship grew over the next 10 years, and the two were rarely seen at social events without each other. So a firm friendship is established. Meanwhile, Buchanan had become a huge supporter of Andrew Jackson. And after the 1824 election, he helped Jackson's supporters transition into Van Buren's Democratic Party, as we've seen. Perhaps partly due to his

closeness with King, he started to see Northern abolitionists as dangerous radicals that wanted to bring an end to the Union. Oh no. Yeah. He worked his way into some top positions in the House around this time. He became the chairman of the House Committee of the Judiciary, which was a high-up position, very sought after. And then after five consecutive terms, about a decade, he decides to step down and return to civilian life. By this point, Jackson had just won his second term in 1832 and he and he had an offer for the outgoing congressman would he like to be the ambassador to russia not really but i'll do it um pretty much yeah that was pretty much his reaction he was very unsure he was worried that this was an exile from politics yeah Not actually an offer of a job.

He was worried that he had not made a good impression on Jackson over the last few years, despite being an avid supporter. I mean, you start building up this picture of Buchanan as someone who just never really says the right thing. Yeah. It's pretty hard to fit in. Yes. Now, a couple of years previously, he had visited the White House with a friend from

England. He'd left her in reception and went off to find the President. He found the old General unshaven, in his slippers and a dressing gown. Buchanan stated the reason for his visit, and Andrew Jackson said, yeah, no, of course, I'll be more than happy to come and meet the young lady. And he stood up. Buchanan looked horrified and asked, shocked, if he intended to get changed first. Jackson stared at the younger man for a while, knocked the ash out of his pipe, and said, Buchanan, let me give you a bit of advice, which I hope you remember. I knew a man once who made a fortune by attending his own business.

Tell the lady I'll meet her presently. I love that, mind your own business. Yes. That's brilliant. Just lovely. I knew a man that. Mind your own business. Yes. That's brilliant. Just lovely. I knew a man once who minded his own business. You kind of meekly nodded and kind of scurried out the room. Okay.

He let out a huge sigh of relief when Jackson appeared shortly afterwards, shaven and in a suit. But yeah, you get the impression he just never really says the right thing. No. Yeah. And he just never really says the right thing. No. Yeah. And he just could not shake the feeling that Jackson just didn't like him. And he was 100% correct.

A few years later, when Polk appoints Buchanan as Secretary of State, Jackson was not happy. And Polk said to Jackson, But General, you yourself appointed him as minister to Russia. Jackson replied, yes I did. It was as far as I could send him out of my sight. I would have sent him to the North Pole if I had a minister there. Nice.

Very nice. Which is a shame. Poor Buchanan. Anyway, presently Buchanan wrote to Jackson saying that he couldn't speak French, so I can't go to Russia. French being the diplomatic language. There we go.

Yeah. Jackson wrote, and I quote here, a candid and frank note back to him, suggesting that he learned the language then. You know, Greek, ancient Greek, ancient Latin, you know. Yeah. Why not? Come on.

Bonjour. So anyway, Buchanan heads to Russia. He decides to go for the job. He spent 18 months there. The first thing he did was write back and ask for more money. He was shocked how much everything was. He soon realised that diplomats were expected to host their own events at their own expense. Oh, wow.

So he wrote back saying, I feel that if I had such a salary, I could leave more of a favourable impression of my country behind me. Can I have more money, please? He did do a good enough job in St. Petersburg, though. He oversaw a couple of treaties, one of which was a commercial treaty that he was successful with. Another one was a maritime treaty, which the British kind of put an end to, because you can't do anything in the sea at this time about Britain saying yes. Yeah.

But he did manage to learn French. Oh, good. Which is nice. Also, coming back to his intelligence, learning French in 18 months. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you need about two years to be conversational in a language, so 18 months is pretty impressive. He's good with his languages.

Oui. He's good at learning things. Anyway, before heading back home, he went on a tour of Russia. He enjoyed his tour. He wrote a diary at this time, and he made a note of everything he saw. By far the most impressive thing he saw was a monk. Nice. Oh yeah, this monk made quite an impression on him.

I'll quote, In my life, I have never beheld a more heavenly expression of countenance. He, being the monk, is very intelligent and perfectly modest and unassuming in his manners. In his appearance, he is not more than 35. His long beard was the most beautiful chestnut colour and made his appearance venerable, notwithstanding his comparative youth. I shall never forget the impression which this man has made upon me. So he either had a bit of a religious experience, even though he wasn't hugely religious himself, or he just met a honky monk.

Yeah. And he was just quite impressed with him. He had lost his eyes. Yes. What do you think about his religious views? His hair glistened in the sunlight. Religion, Buchanan. Oh, I don't know, Christian, probably.

Anyway, after this, Buchanan. Oh, I don't know. Christian, probably. Anyway, after this, Buchanan heads home, only to find his mother and one of his brothers have died whilst he was away. That's sad. That is sad, isn't it? After a period of grieving, Buchanan was then elected to the US Senate. So he goes back to Washington.

Upon getting to Washington at the age of 43, him and William King make arrangements to live together in Mrs Ironside's boarding house. Mrs Ironside. It's a good name, isn't it? This wasn't hugely uncommon, as we've seen before. Bachelors or politicians whose wives stayed at home often shared boarding houses together. Yeah. But Buchanan and King were both wealthy enough to afford their own rooms, and they chose to live together like this for 16 years. It's over this period that the rumour mill about them

really starts up. King was referred to as Mrs Buchanan, and the two were referred to as the Siamese twins. Now, whether or not they had a sexual relationship is debated by historians, but it does seem likely they did a sexual relationship is debated by historians, but it does seem likely they did. Yeah. Yeah. At the very least, it's hard to argue that the two loved each other. But I think you're having to stretch probability if you're saying

that they were just really good friends. Yeah. It's sad because at the time, there's no way, well, even now there aren't many gay... Is it Irish Prime Minister? Yes, the Irish Prime Minister is. And that's the only one I think I can name. Anyway, I imagine now living with King, this probably is going to be one of Buchanan's happiest times in his life. Because he's now in Washington, he's got lots of prestige, he's a senator, and he's living with the love of his life.

That's nice. It is nice, isn't it? It is, yeah. Until you remember that King is a horrible racist who loves slavery. Oh. Yeah. Buchanan's views, again, became firmer that Northern abolitionists were dangerous. They could split the Union.

After all, he would argue, the abolitionists need to understand that slavery helps to civilise the black population. Yeah, it's that kind of view. It's not good. Something slightly positive to say about Buchanan at this point though, he did oppose the gag law. The one that said that no one was allowed to talk about slavery. Yeah, he said that the right to petition was as sacred as the South's right to own people. It's not great, but I mean, it's better than supporting the gag rule. Anyway, he also made his views clear on manifest destiny. Many people wanted to see the country expand. Those in the South wanted more slave states, either in Mexico or getting Cuba.

Those in the North wanted to expand into Canada. Buchanan just wants to expand everywhere. He loves the idea of expansion. He was against the treaty with Britain that set the border with Maine and Canada because it gave too much away. He supported the annexation of Texas, saying, and I quote here, shall Texas become part of our glorious confederacy or shall she become a dangerous and hostile rival? Over the next decade, he became one of the biggest names in the party. And in 1844, he finally lets it be known to those close to him that he's got an eye on the top job.

He's done a Biden. Biden-in's time. Oh! Hey! Don't Joe know it. Your one was actually quite good. Anyway, yeah, he wanted

to be president. That's what I'm trying to say. We've covered this democratic convention before. Yeah. Yes, we have. Jamie's looking at his notes furiously there. Well, I was trying to think of the last episode, because I'm guessing you went for a few times.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. You're looking at Pierce's notes there. It's 1847, Pierce. Yeah, and it was after 1847 he became president. Yeah. This is the one where Van Buren and Cass were the two frontrunners, where it was decided that two-thirds of the vote was needed to win, and Van Buren couldn't quite get the votes.

The Cass supporters were able to capitalise on this, but not quite enough. Buchanan was hoping to be a dark horse candidate in this convention. Were there two of them, like a horse costume? Well, there were two dark horses, or maybe two people in the dark horse. Yes. Yes, that would make sense. So which one is Buchanan? Buchanan was the rear of the horse.

Oh dear. Yeah, because he doesn't manage to become the dark horse candidate, unfortunately. Because there is a young man who's being helped by Andrew Jackson at this convention as well, and that is obviously Polk. Yes. Yes. And he's at the front of the Dark Horse. Yeah. And when they offer it to the Dark Horse, Polk just kicks backwards, Buchanan falls off the stage, and it's just Polk left there. Takes off the hat, gets out the costume. Yeah. Polk won the nomination. Buchanan was left with very few votes. However, it's not all doom and gloom. Polk, perhaps wanting to keep an eye on Buchanan, invited him to be the Secretary of State.

Which is a firm stepping stone to the presidency. Yes. Yeah. So, I mean, it was unlikely he was ever going to win this. He threw his name in the hat and he's got something out of it. Yeah, nice exposure. Yeah, exactly. I'm sure that's what Clay gets from himself. Yes. Each one of these is what Clay gets for himself. Yes.

Each one of these is a small stepping stone to the job. One day. Anyway, Buchanan accepts the job and then turns it down. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, he changed his mind almost immediately. A seat on the Supreme Court, which is a lifetime position, was opening up. Perhaps he could have that instead, he was thinking.

Because I'm a hot topic at the moment. Maybe that seat could go my way instead, eh, Polk? It's a weird position, though, isn't it? It's been a lifetime position. Yeah, why they still have that, I have no idea. It's really odd. It's ripe for... It's like having tenure, isn't it?

It's not very democratic. Considering how anti-monarchy they were back at the start, this, it seems all a bit British. It really does. So yeah, feelers were sent out, and then the rumour mill started up. Polk's future

Secretary of State did not want the job. He wanted to be on the Supreme Court. But it's James Buchanan. Would he get confirmed? What if he was turned down? Yeah. Who's he? Yeah. Then he'd have turned down the Secretary of State job only to be nominated for the Supreme Court and then not confirmed. He would have thrown everything away. How would he feel then, said the rumour mill, which was just one man on like a big wheel. Oh, tight fit is going around. Yeah, just saying things as he went past.

Before he went into the water. Yeah. That's a quickly say sentence. Have you heard James Buchanan has... Turned down the job for Secretary of State and... Yeah. The rumour mill. It's a thing.

Yeah, well, Buchanan passed the rumour mill one day and heard such rumours, and it got to him, it did. And he decided, you know what, this is too big a risk. So he backs down, and he goes to Polk and accepts the cabinet position once more. And then he backs down again, because he writes to his brother saying that he believed the Supreme Court job to definitely be the better job so he's going to go for the supreme court fair enough then he backs down again i was half of the writing sup court uh yeah uh stating and i quote i cannot desert the president but more

likely thinking no one has ever gone from the Supreme Court to the presidency. Is this a good career path? It's basically, you know, in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? It's like, do I do the next question or do I get the money I've already got? Do I peak here at Supreme Court, which is high, or do I take a gamble and go for the presidency? You're going for the million dollar question, but no lifelines. Exactly. Yeah. Does he really want to gamble that? Yeah, lose the position on the Supreme Court if he gambles. Yeah. So you can see why he's vacillating, but at the same time, he's just

coming across as really indecisive. Just decide! Well, at this point, one of his friends writes to him, and this is at a point where he's saying that he will be the Secretary of State. Right. And his friend writes, and I quote, For God's sake, stay where you are! That's it. Yeah. Just stop changing your mind.

And so began a somewhat tense working relationship between Polk and Buchanan. Polk wrote in his diary that Buchanan was, and I quote, brooding, in a bad mood, and not pleasant in his intercourse with me. I do love the fact that the word intercourse has changed its meaning over time. Yes, it has. Just to make things more amusing for modern day readers, as is ejaculated, because in Sherlock Holmes books, they quite often ejaculated because uh in sherlock holmes books yeah they quite often ejaculate meaning to exclaim what version are you reading have i got the right word there i need to look this up i really need to look this up ejaculate let's see what comes up ejaculations there we go yeah see it's on qi and everything oh wow that is hilarious though yeah

that's really funny yeah so yeah read some sherlock holmes full of ejaculations it is right um but yes obviously this was uh buchanan's talking with uh polk yes anyway as we saw in polk's episode the president and the secretary of State did not always get on. If you remember, Polk had decided to get Oregon off the British and California off the Mexicans. Buchanan, an expansionist, was more than happy with this, but not always with the methods that Polk was suggesting. To begin with, Buchanan argued with Polk

that he was pushing the British too far with the negotiations over the Canada-US border within Oregon. Right. But as the British started to push back, Buchanan switched his positions, arguing for the 54-40 or fight wing of the party. These were the ones that wanted to take more off Canada or go to war. And I'll quote Buchanan here, War before dishonour is a maxim deeply engraved upon the hearts of the American

people. Canadian war. As we've seen, Polk got his way and the border was put on the 49th parallel. So that's where the border is today. Buchanan was also dealing with the upcoming war with Mexico. He was so busy that he compared himself. Go on, guess what he compared himself to.

No. Not a slave. A galley slave. Oh, for goodness sake. Yeah. We've covered this. The US used a dubious pretext to invade Mexico and then took a load of land off them. As Secretary of State, Buchanan was up there with the decision-making.

At the end of the war, however, he once again disagreed with Polk and the rest of the cabinet. This time, Buchanan was actually arguing that the US should take less land. Polk wanted to take all of Lower California and go further south into the rest of Mexico. They were going to take a huge chunk. It was already a large portion of land, but it was going to be even bigger.

It would have doubled the size of America, not just added another third. Buchanan cautioned against this, pointing out that it would make the US look like the aggressors. As if they didn't already. Because we're clearly pacifists here. We're opportunistic. If we take that much land, we'll look aggressive.

I suggest we only take 75% of that. Polk wrote, and I quote, Mr Buchanan's opinions have evidently undergone a change in the course of the last few weeks. Since he has considered himself for the presidency, it is probable that he looks on this subject with different considerations. So Buchanan's thinking about his future

and having to defend this action. Polk goes on to write, He is an unsafe advisor. He is an able man, but in small matters without judgment, and sometimes he acts like an old maid. Bob Buchanan. Yet another

president just doesn't like him. He's not very likeable, though, is he? He's really not. Polk was only running for one term, as we have seen, and Buchanan saw his chance. He was the Secretary of State coming out of a successful war. This is his chance. But Buchanan didn't

do well in this Democratic convention because Lewis Cass had very similar views to Buchanan but was just far more popular. People actually liked him. So he was running as well and he easily won. So he won the nomination but the point was fairly moot,

because he then was against Taylor in the election, and Taylor won. The Democrats lose. So when Taylor became president, Buchanan returned home to Lancaster. He was now 58 and had spent most of his life in public office. He now found himself with nothing left to do. So he bought a new home, a large house with 22 rooms, called The Wheatfield. It had the he bought a new home. A large house with 22 rooms called the Wheatfield. It had the

air of a plantation home. He was very much emulating himself. He spent his time working pretty much as an employment agency for his now large extensive extended family. He had 22 nieces and nephews. So those poor orphan nephews from earlier have grown up a bit now. And they're all looking for jobs. And the old bachelor's got connections. So who shall we go to? So, he's pulling strings and whispering to people. Where's King at this time?

King and Buchanan unfortunately have been separated for a while because King had to go to France to be the French ambassador. And the two wrote some letters. very formal they were, but kind of hint that they really, really missed each other. Fortunately, there was a lot of correspondence between King and Buchanan that was burnt after Buchanan died.

Oh. Yeah, Buchanan's niece, who I'm about to introduce, burns them all, which kind of gives you a suggestion that there was something in those letters. But anyway, this niece who I'm talking about is Harriet Lane and she fast becomes Buchanan's favourite niece. So she comes to live with Buchanan along with

several other family members in this big sprawling house. Buchanan saw to Harriet's education and when she was old enough that men started sniffing around her, Buchanan acted very much in the way that Robert Colford did in Buchanan's youth. He said to her, Never engage yourself to any person without my previous advice.

He also spent his time entertaining visitors, making use of the railroads that now connected the country so people could come far and wide to come and visit him. He soon developed the nickname the Sage of Wheatfield. He read he smoked cigars. He wandered down to the local tavern, which was called The Grapes. He went birdwatching, apparently. But he's in retirement. Yeah. And he soon grew restless. The next election was a couple of years away, and if he wanted another stab at it, he really would have to start thinking about

it now. So he starts meeting up with leaders of the Democratic Party. He started to let his opinions be known through public letters. As you can imagine, his views are very, very pro-self. He was vocal on the issue of letting territories and then states choose whether they were going to have slavery. He was outspoken once more against the dangers of abolitionism. Considering he lived in Pennsylvania, remember Pennsylvania won Nice Estate of the Year Award several times in a row in the early days. These opinions aren't particularly popular.

No. No. They don't go down too well with many in his state. But the South were impressed. Oh yes, they were. Buchanan gained the reputation of being a doughface. A northerner with southern sympathies whose beliefs could be moulded like dough. That's where the expression comes from.

Oh, I thought like a deer face. No, no, dough as in baking dough. Okay, I'll spell it in my book then. Fillmore and Pearce were also known as dough-faced politicians. In 1851, 15 miles from Wheatfield, a slave owner named Gorsuch and some federal marshals raided the house of William Parker, who was an escaped slave. The raid did not go smoothly. Gorsuch and a marshal were killed and the slaves escaped. Buchanan was outraged by this incident, considering those that helped the slaves escape a danger to the Union. A year later, the Democratic Convention was back. Third time lucky, he's thinking.

Due to his sovereign support, Buchanan did much better than last time. But this was the marathon national convention that we covered in Pierce's episode. Now, Buchanan was one of the forerunners in this one. He went from second to first and then back to second in those 34 ballots. It was looking like he could win it at several points. Yeah. But when Pierce's name was thrown in as a compromise candidate, Buchanan's support collapsed. So for the

third time, Buchanan lost the nomination process. Oh dear. He wrote, and I quote, After a long and stormy public life, I shall go into retirement without any regret. I only mean I shall hold no other office. The end. Well, these may have been his sentiments at the time.

Yeah. But there were other things going on that kind of meant he had to get back involved in politics. Because there was word going around that he should run for the vice presidency. Okay. He didn't want this job he wanted to be the president yeah however he did throw his support behind william king becoming vice president oh yeah the pierce supporters in a show of reconciliation essentially gave the buchanan faction the choice okay pierce won the. You guys can choose who's vice president.

Buchanan said, I want William King. So there you go. William King was elected to be vice president. Nice. Nice. However, happiness for William was short-lived because a few weeks before Pierce's presidency, William fell ill with tuberculosis. He went to Cuba in the hopes that the climate would improve his health. It didn't, as it wouldn't. No. Now, despite this, he was sworn in as vice president in Cuba. The only vice president ever to be sworn into office, or indeed president sworn into office, on foreign soil.

Wow. Which is interesting. He then returned home and died. Oh, that's been heartbreaking for him. Well, his reaction's not really recorded, as you can imagine, but yes, it must have been. Regardless of what the relationship actually was between them, it is clear the two were very, very close.

This would have been heartbreaking. He did write, and I quote, He is among the best, purest, and most consistent of public men I have ever known. So yeah, clearly missing his friend slash partner. Anyway, soon after this, an offer came from Pierce. How would you like

to be the Minister to Britain? In typical Buchanan style, he accepts and then rejects and then accepts, then rejects and then finally accepted it once more. Oh for goodness sake! Things were written about him at the time about how he can never stick to anything.

It's getting a bit of a reputation. Well, he's earning it. Yeah, but I mean, maybe this time it's because he's grieving. And he's not really allowed to show it, so maybe that's why. But yeah, he does decide to go for it in the end. In 1853, he sets sail for London, where he served for three years. He found life in London tough. He had very few friends, and he found the place horribly expensive. One ray of hope was when Daniel Sickles came over from the United States to work as his clerk.

Buchanan was very much looking forward to seeing, not Daniel, but Daniel's new wife, who was a woman who he'd become friends with recently and hoped would liven the place up a bit oh good yeah so he was really looking forward to daniel and more importantly his wife stepping off the boat so he was horrified therefore when sickles turned up not with his pregnant wife but with his mistress a woman named Fanny White. Yeah. I can just imagine Buchanan's reaction. I'm sorry, you are? Oh, marvelous name. Yeah. Now, unknown to Daniel or Buchanan, Daniel's wife was having her own affair back home. Okay. Now, this is deviating from the main story slightly, but this is interesting to know.

When Daniel does return to Washington, he found out. And then he shot his wife's lover in Lafayette Square. Killed him. Okay. That's the kind of person Daniel is. Oh. The kind of person who takes his mistress on business meetings. Yeah.

And then kills people when his wife is having her own affair. Yeah. So that's who Buchanan has to spend his time with. Marvellous. I'm just imagining this really brooding, angry man. Yeah. Who's just horrible to everyone. Buchanan would get the sherry out and Daniel would just down it.

Entire bottle. Grab the bottle off him, just down it, then storm out, probably shouting angry things about British people. Yeah. Yeah. Bloody limies, he'd say. One thing we do know is that he could barely write, which wasn't great considering he was supposed to be Buchanan's clerk. His handwriting apparently was so bad, what he'd done often had to be rewritten by someone else. You get the impression quietly though, so he never found out about about it otherwise he'd get really angry. Yeah. Apparently Daniel much preferred the nightlife of London than doing his duties. So that's who Buchanan has as a friend. Excellent. Still he's got work to do. He was soon presented to the 34 year old Queen Victoria who he described

as gracious but without many personal charms. I'm sure the feeling was mutual. Then he went to the foreign minister, a man named Clarendon, which is a wonderfully English name. The pressing issue of the day was the fact that not too long ago, if you remember, Britain and the United States had signed an agreement that both countries would not mess about in Central America and ruin any chances of possibly building a canal through it. Yes. Britain, however, was stretching this agreement in the US's eyes, and Buchanan wanted Britain to stop what they saw as meddling in Nicaragua

and the islands off Honduras. Fair enough. When Buchanan talked to Clarendon about the British meddling in these islands off Honduras. Fair enough. When Buchanan talked to Clarendon about the British meddling in these islands off Honduras, Clarendon had no idea what Buchanan was talking about. Who? Honduras. I believe we've invaded there.

I'm sure we have. Hang on. Let me check the map. The file effects out. It's always expanding. You know us. Let's just flip through here countries annihilated invaded here we go h h o h o n oh yes honduras yes yes they're ours

talio what's the problem well apparently buchanan after explaining where what he was talking about um and why the united states were not happy clare dunn was able to start discussions but the foreign minister uh had an excuse for being distracted and not really knowing what buchanan was talking about because britain had just gone to war with russia, allying with the French, which is even more shocking. Yes, this is obviously the Crimean War. Wow, we're really getting through it. Oh yeah, we're getting through it, yeah.

So that's kicking off, and as foreign minister, you've obviously got a lot to do. And then there's Buchanan, this bloody American minister coming along, talking about these islands you've never even heard of before. This bloody American minister coming along, talking about these islands you've never even heard of before. Now, over the next few years, Buchanan and Clarendon managed to create a working relationship. But from what I read, I get the feeling it was one-sided. Apparently Buchanan, feeling lonely, would just turn up at the Foreign Office and just see if Clarendon was available for a chat. And Clarendon would be polite, obviously, it's the ambassador to America,

but he's got stuff to do, there's a war on. On one occasion, he got so fed up that he grabbed Buchanan by the lapels and shook him violently. For God's sake, man! Can't you see what's happening? I get the feeling Buchanan just looked slightly shocked, a bit sad, and then went home to the embassy. It's just Daniel staring at him when he gets home. I get the feeling it was not a happy time for Buchanan.

And then things get a bit worse. Oh, brilliant. Because Pierce's Secretary of State had just released a circular to all diplomats working abroad. All diplomats are hereby to wear simple American attire during all social events. Oh, he's a fan of the flamboyant... Well, maybe not flamboyant, but style, isn't he? Buchanan. Yeah, and he's in London.

This is a huge problem. Buchanan cannot attend any events in London dressed like a US citizen. Because as we all know, simple attire of a US citizen is blue jeans, a white t-shirt with a cigarette pack rolled up in your sleeve, toothpick outside of your mouth. And a hat, big hat.

Stetson. Yeah, exactly. I can only assume that's what it means by simple US attire. I can't see what else that could be. So yeah, this would cause a scene if he was not to turn up in full court dress, which is in London at the time that you would be expected to wear. But back then you'd never know, would they? You're so far away, six months to get any messages to you. Wear what you want. Daniel sickles oh i bet he'd write back yeah buchanan had been in london

long enough to realize that turning up in the wrong dress definitely cause a scene and he'd been in london long enough to know that causing a scene in britain is possibly worse than murder and still is to this day. It is. I mean, the amount of eye-rolling you get if you cause a scene. Exactly. You don't cause a scene. Things can be awful, but you don't complain.

No, you quietly mutter into your breath, I can't believe it. Yes, exactly. How rude. So, you kind of realise this, he's not even going to be able to go into the saloons or the dining rooms that were popular at the time. He would be cut off entirely from London society,

which isn't great when he's the minister. Then the opening of Parliament occurred, and it had a strict court dress code. Buchanan was torn. In the end, he decides to just stay at home and not attend the ceremony. That might be worse. Well, yeah, that didn't go down well. Rude.

He then received an invite from the Queen herself to dinner. What's he going to do? He's going to turn it down, isn't he? There, he's got top hat and lapels, tails. Yeah. One of those cummerbunds. Cumberbunds? Cumberbund.

Cumberland. Cumberbund. Cumberland sausages. Yes. Yeah, he's got all that going on. Benz. Cumberbens? Cumberbund. Cumberland. Cumberbund. Cumberland sausages. Yes. He's got all that going on. Hung up on one door and then he's got his jeans and the Stetson on the other door. He's just looking between them. He's like, what do I do?

What do I do? What do I do? Got to see Queen Victoria. Do I really wear the Stetson? Camel cigarettes or Marlboro. What do I go for? You could have Camel on one sleeve Marlboro up the other sleeve But he's still not sure If that's even the right direction to be going

Two sleeves, a double sleever How many toothpicks How many toothpicks is too many I mean, fourteen Probably too many What's wrong with your face Have you got splinters Yeah, he's there, sitting on the end of his bed 14? Probably too many. Yes. What's wrong with your face? Have you got splinters?

Yeah, he's there, sitting on the end of his bed, fretting, looking at these two outfits. Daniel is just leaning casually in the door, staring at him, just breaking glasses. He decides on a plan of action. He looks at the two outfits and then thinks, what if I combine the two? Oh, no. You can't do that. Fortunately he puts on the top and tails but then puts the white t-shirt on top of it. Stetson on top of the tarp hat. Top of the wig.

No, what he decides to do is wear a simple black suit. So not full court dress. Yeah. Which would be scandalous. But it keeps with the rules that the Secretary of State sends. So he's going to wear what would have been seen as ridiculously casual clothing. Even though it is a full suit. But to solve a problem that he's been having a lot recently,

which is he keeps being mistaken for being a waiter because he's wearing this suit when he's out and about so people just think he's on the serving staff. Bruce Springsteen t-shirt. No, he doesn't go for that. A bald eagle tattoo. No, he wears a sword. Okay.

Yeah. Wearing a sword is still very much the sign of a gentleman in England and America at the time. So he wears this sword along with his black suit. And he goes off to meet the Queen. As you can imagine, the London press have a field day with this, writing about how disrespectful the United States were. Calling him the gentleman in the black coat from Yankee land.

Buchanan was getting increasingly frustrated by this stupid rule that was putting him in an impossible position. However, unknown to him, this was doing wonders for him back home. If there's one thing that the average person in the United States liked, it was sticking it to the pompous British. Yeah. Oh, yes. And Buchanan was doing just that.

He was called, and I quote, a true man, a Republican, in fact and in truth, by one paper. One of Buchanan's friends wrote to another friend, this insignificant matter of dress has impressed the masses of the people and of all parties. And now it was seen he had a good chance of winning the next democratic convention. After all, Pierce was not doing a good job, as we saw. No, no no perhaps they needed somebody new meanwhile across the atlantic buchanan was meeting with none other than the

minister of spain remember him soleil oh the the crazy guy the crazy guy just kill everyone yes essentially yeah so together with the minister for fr, they wrote the Ostend Manifesto that we talked about in Pierce's episode. Buchanan wrote the bulk of it. It was their opinion that the US should force Spain to give up Cuba for protection, of course. Oh, yeah. Those in the South, when all this came out, loved the idea, and those in the North hated it. But as we saw in the last episode, it all kind of fizzles out. Yeah. But Buchanan's name is now

fixed to this document. In 1855, Buchanan came back home on a steamboat and celebrated his 65th birthday. He found a country that was ripping itself apart. Poor dear. The Kansas-Nebraska Act had caused an even wider rift between North and South, the ripping up of the Missouri Compromise effectively splitting up the parties along geographical lines. The Know-Nothing Party and the Republican Party were doing better than ever, and the Democrats had lost their support in the North. A Democratic senator had beaten a Republican senator almost to death on the Senate floor. And Kansas had set up two opposing governments, one pro-slavery, one anti-slavery. To sum it up, Pierce had not done a good job. No, not at all. Not in any way. It wasn't great when Buchanan left, but you get the impression

he stepped off that steamboat and it's just flames and people screaming. Buildings toppling. and it's just flames and people screaming. Buildings toppling. What? And then the next democratic convention comes up. This time Buchanan seems to be the best choice. He was unable to get two thirds of the votes to begin with, but he was always in the lead. After the 17th ballot, he was elected as the nominee.

Now, as a Northerner himself, someone proposed that they balance the ticket out. So who are they going to put in as a vice president? You've got to balance Buchanan. Uh, someone that's anti-slavery and... No, no, obviously someone from the South who was pro-slavery. Oh. Because Buchanan's a Northerner.

Oh, of course. Of course. That makes a logical sense. Yes. Said everyone in the Democratic Convention, the party where support in the North has collapsed. Yeah. Well done there.

Buchanan was to run against none other than Millard Fillmore for the know-nothings. The duck. And the first ever Republican candidate, John Fremont. I think you say his name that way, Fremont. But it's got a little accent of the E. Fremont. Fremont. Fremont. Juan. Juan Fremont. I think you say his name that way. Fremont. But it's got a little accent. Fremont. Fremont.

Fremont. Juan. Juan Fremont. Juan Fremont. Yeah. I'm sure that's how you said his name. Well, this is a man with anti-slavery views and a beard. Oh.

Clearly a dangerous man. Yeah. You can't trust someone with a beard. Oh, no. So, there you go. James Buchanan did not campaign. Old school. I'm not going out and campaigning. Yeah, you can't trust someone with a beard. Oh, no. So, there you go. James Buchanan did not campaign. Old school. I'm not going out and campaigning. Yeah. But, he did let his opinions of cross-country trains

be known to help gain support in California. Good. Yeah, yeah, because he said there should be a train to California, and people in California went, yes, please. He's not just a train buff. No. Yeah. I mean, people in California were quite cut off. The quickest way to get to the rest of the United States

was literally get on a boat and sail around Southern America. Oh, wow. Yeah. And that would actually be quicker than going across land. That's insane. Yeah. So a train, that sounds great. Or a canal that could go through Central America would be really handy.

Or one that just goes straight through America. Oh, yeah. Yeah, come on. A bit of a divide, isn't it? American Dream, come on. Yeah. Anyway, the Democratic Party underestimated the feelings of the North, and they were shocked at how well the Republicans and the Know-Nothings did.

But, as the Republicans were a Northern-only party, and the Know-Nothings had started to split, it was perhaps inevitable that the Democrats, although struggling, would win. Buchanan got 45% of the vote, Fillmore got 33%, and Fillmore 21%. So, relatively close with the popular vote. Electoral College was 174% for Buchanan, 114% to4 to vermont and fillmore only got eight so there you go buchanan finally gets his wish he is going to be the president of the united states a country literally on the brink of civil war and he hoped he would be the one to right this sinking ship. I can't wait for the next episode.

Is Lincoln after? Yeah. Ah, okay. Okie dokie. So there you go, that's Buchanan. He's not a people person, is he? He comes across as fairly pompous and unlikable, really, doesn't he? Arrogant.

Arrogant, vain. I think that's sent from his intelligence. Maybe he didn't realise, I'm just intelligent. Maybe, yeah. There's a bit of tragedy in his life there. We never really know what happened with Anne McCormack, but the whole story's tragic.

Yeah. And there's a very good chance he had to live his life with a lie for most of his life, which can't be pleasant. Nope. But apart from that, he's not very likeable, is he? No, not at all. No.

Still, maybe he turns it all around in the last presidency before the Civil War. Well, find out next time. Yeah, find out next time. Bit of a cliffhanger, what's going to happen next. Thank you very much for listening. Please leave reviews if you have enjoyed

this series so far. We shall read some out from Podbean or iTunes wherever you leave your reviews or your comments. We'll read some out.

Be nice. Yeah, actually, let's do that next time. And until next time, goodbye. Goodbye. So, how many troops do we have left in the region? I see.

No, we must talk to our allies in French. Oh, that still feels weird saying that. Oh, who is it? Ah, Clarendon. It's me. Oh, that still feels weird saying that. Oh, who is it? Ah, Clarendon. It's me. Oh, good God. Just coming to see how you're doing. Oh, wow, look at this room. How did you even get in here?

Look at all these maps. Wow. Yes, this is the secret map room. There are so many maps everywhere. They're amazing. Seriously, you should not be in here. There's one of India. Quite a neat one of Russia there as well. Yes, of course. We're at war with them. North Korea.

Seriously, stop looking at the maps now, please. What's that one? Reconquests of the colonies in the 1960s. No, no, no. Turn around. Come on. We'll walk through there. We'll walk through there.

Is this your pen? Yes, this is my... Is that your glass? Right. Hands in pockets. Hands in pockets, Buchanan. You know the rules when you come and visit me. Hands in pockets.

Look, you spill three glasses, you judge me forever. It's such a bore. Anyway, I'm here to see if you're bored. Bored? Bored? We're in the middle of a war, man. What? No, we're not.

What? No, I know you're not. Not everything revolves around... Oh, seriously. How can I help? How can I help? About those islands... Don't you just shut up.

Have them. Have them. Islands near Honduras. Yes, have them. I've decided. Couldn't give a toss. Splendid. Oh, brilliant.

Well, let's celebrate. How about back to the mind with some champagne and some caviar? No, no, I'm quite busy. I'm terribly sorry. Now, I'm really going to have to insist that you leave now,

Buchanan. But caviar! I don't care. have to insist that you leave now But I bought caviar I don't care, go on, out you go, out you go And next time, Buchanan, next time What? Wear something decent, man What's wrong with my clothes? Can't really call it clothes, you're wearing nothing but star and stripe speedos And a sword

Oh, a gentleman's sword Good day, sir