American Presidents: Totalus Rankium - 9.2 William H Harrison

Episode Date: November 10, 2018

The stage is set: the war hero William H Harrison is ready to take the country into a new golden age. The spoils system: Gone! Jacksonian policies: Gone! Time to set the country on the right track… cough cough cough

Welcome to Totalus Rankium. This week, William H. Harrison. Part 2. Hello and welcome to American President's Election Special. Totalus Rankium. I'm Jamie. You're Jamie, great. And I'm Rob, ranking all of the presidents from Washington to Trump. And yes, Election Special, we're recording this on Tuesday, the 6th of November 2018. For those listening in the future future it's the midterms so if you're listening to this at the weekend which is when it's released

congratulations or commiserations but to both parties, good luck do you like my new jumper? It's blue yes, it's a lovely blue jumper that's a nice blue watch as well Rob it is a good blue watch I'm looking at my watch trying to figure out the date no, no, it's the time

it's 5 o'clock, which is what in America? It depends where you are. Oh, yeah. Well, polls opened at six, which would be 11 o'clock our time this morning. So they've been open for about six hours now. So, oh, there you go. That's rooting you into the now when we're recording. But we're not in the now in our story.

Nope. No, we're in the past. Because we need to finish off harrison yes not in an al capuccino sort of way no no we don't need to make sure he has a happy retirement or anything like that that just sounds rude i'm guessing not a great presidency because everyone's sort of laughing and going he doesn't know so I'm guessing he's terrible. But you never know. He might be a hidden gem. Let's find the beautifulness of Harrison. Yes.

Well, I'll tell you now, Gerry Landry, who does the Presidency's podcast, did an entire series based on Harrison. 40-odd episodes. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Must be something there.

Well, yeah. Let's find out. Are they short episodes or long episodes, I mean? About half an hour each, I think. Yes, they said 20 hours of talking about Harrison. Yeah. That's not bad. Yes, so there you go.

Anyway, recap, just in case you've forgotten. Thank you. Harrison, he didn't become a doctor. He became an officer in the army. He fought a couple of battles. He got married. He became the governor of the North West and defeated the prophet in the Battle of Tippecanoe. Tippecanoe.

Yeah. And then the war broke out. Yes. Yes, it did. And there you go. That's your recap. Is that enough? Yeah, I'll do.

Yeah. It was only a week ago for you, so it should be fresh in your mind. Right, so, the War of 1812. The war. Yes. It was a bad war.

You weren't there, man. You weren't there. All those Canadians burning down the White House. So you do remember. Good. Yeah. Good. Right. We've looked at this war a few times, obviously, through, for example, Madison's eyes. Yeah. Monroe's eyes. John Quincy Adams and his eyes. And to them, the war was very much against the British. Yeah. Even Jackson, who spent most of his time fighting to them, the war was very much against the British. Yeah. Even Jackson, who spent most of his time fighting Native Americans during the war, is more known for his fight against the British. Yeah.

Harrison, however, he's in the West. And yes, there are British involved, but the people in the West more saw the War of 1812 as a war against Native Americans. They were allied with the British. Okay. Yeah. So we kind of see it through his eyes a bit. It's like the equivalent in the World War I, the Western and Eastern fronts. Yeah, exactly. It's like

there's a big war going on but you're focusing on the people you're trying to kill. Definitely. And eviscerate. Yes. Nice. Yeah, so Harrison once war breaks out, after a while, not straight away, quits being the governor of the Northwest Territory to dedicate his time to the army.

Now, we simply don't have time today to go through everything he did in the army. That's what the Harrison podcast is for. Nice. Go and check that out. Yeah, but we'll sum up what he did. So things were not looking good to begin with, in general, for America in the war.

General Hull had a disaster and surrendered detroit to the british oh dear yeah so we had detroit for a while oh yeah michigan nice yeah that was nice there was generally a sense that someone who knows what they're doing really is needed up there in the northwest does help it really does in the meantime how some was given command of the k State Militia. So he's in charge of a militia, and he was told, go and aid Detroit. They need your help up there. So a militia is sort of like an untrained army.

Yes, exactly. With pitchforks and a few guns. Yeah, and we've obviously moved on from the Revolutionary War, but there's still very much a sense that republics have militias. Yeah. Dictatorships that republics have militias. Yeah. Dictatorships and monarchies have standing armies. You don't need a standing army if you're a democracy, because everyone will want to fight.

To protect it. Yes, and somehow everyone will magically be trained. Yeah. Yeah. Spirit alone will make you aim your gun well. Yes, exactly. So, Harrison goes forth with his militia, who were, as you rightly point out, a bit rough around the edges.

By this point, the Northwest was in a bit of a mess. Panic is sweeping the region. Law and order is falling apart. Fighting breaking out all over the place, officially and unofficially. It did not help that, at this point, the internal politics of the US forces erupted to the surface. So the Americans and the officers of the American army and the militias were busy playing one-upmanship with each other. Look how great I am.

Yeah. Look at the size of my cannon. I should be in charge of all these people. Yeah. And not you. Yeah. Check out my massive cannonballs. Yeah, that's what they said.

So a man named Winchester was in charge of the army. How is he not British? I don't know. Hello, I'm Winchester. They are still very British. This is early on still. Are you American? I'm as American as apple pie.

Tally-ho. Yeah, they need surnames like Operation Death Trail or something. That sounds American, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. George Gunsplatter. That looks even better. Yeah.

Anyway, Winchester, did he have a pencil moustache? I think he had a pencil moustache. Definitely. Very tall, quite lanky. Yeah. Overly friendly. Yeah. Just very British.

Yeah. Gosh. Frowns upon swearing, that sort of thing. Yeah. Okay. That can be Winchester. That might be true. Who knows?

What we do know is that he was in charge of the army in the North West. Okay. So not the militia, the army. But he had some Kentucky militia men under his command at this time. Nice. And who's in charge of the Kentucky militia? Harrison. Harrison.

So yeah, those two butt heads a little bit. Harrison came along and said, These men here, I'll just take those off your hands. Thank you very much, Winchester. Under my command. And Winchester, not too happy about that. So you're overly polite. Oh, I think you're misunderstood there.

They're my army. But slightly red at the cheeks. Yes. You could tell he was furious. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Politely furious. Well, to cut a long story short here,

because I went down a bit of a rabbit hole with this and then realised, hang on, we don't need to know all the details of this. We just need to know they fell out. Okay. Yeah. Winchester managed to get some support and got word that, yes,

he was definitely superior to Harrison so he could keep the men. But that only lasted a few days because Harrison was working his own magic and was promoted to major general in the regular army yeah so he now outranked winchester so they were politically maneuvering each other harrison comes out on top oh harrison i'm so pleased of your new rank yeah red in the face the wine glass he's holding the shatters yeah yeah or the teacup teacup teacup in one hand

sherry glass in the other oh both shatter yeah face doesn't change no still a broad smile yeah so harrison splits his forces into three and marches north burning the villages of the miamis remember them from last week yeah yeah but not named after the state or named because the state wasn't named after them it's spelled differently wasn't it no it's about the same city not state yeah that's what i meant um because something was named differently but it wasn't based on them and it was yeah yeah there you go you remember i know yeah if you also remember that miami's were the ones that said to you to come say uh could you not move here please we're kind of using this oh he's moved him.

Yeah. That's my favourite tree. So they were unhappy anyway. They were less happy when Harrison marched through their land, burning down all their villages. Well, that's not going to cheer you up, is it? Yeah. I mean, the Miamis were known to be allies of the US,

but Harrison wanted to make sure that supply lines were kept and no subterfuge went on. Fair enough, but you don't shoot your enemy in the back, do you? No, sorry, you don't shoot your friends in the back. No, I don't think you're supposed to shoot your enemy in the back either. But that's the safest way. Yeah, it's the surest way. So they're heading north.

They're off to meet the British and Comse's forces who, remember, were scattered at the end of the last episode. It's taken them a while, but they're starting to get back together now. Things have been grim, though. It's winter. Everyone's cold and hungry. Harrison had inherited a force that was poorly disciplined and near mutinous. There was a lack of blankets, few boots, not many tents.

Just generally a lack of anything that you actually need to keep morale high. But you just know there's one git there with like one of those weighted blankets everyone wants but like 170 pounds like 300 each yeah for a blanket and there's just one git there with it where everyone's like standing and shivering in the rain and snow self-heating thermos flask oh yeah just has to crack the bottom oh Oh, yeah. Chemicals do their work. And it's reusable.

It's even worse. And it'll clove warmers. Yeah. What an arse. Yeah. But everyone else, shivering, freezing. Yeah. Hungry.

Near mutiny. Harrison wasn't the only person finding things out. Because Winchester, who was in charge of one of the three columns of his forces. I don't know the military term. Yeah, I do. Columns. Sections. Wings. Wings. Yeah. Bits. Bits. Bits. Yeah. three columns of his forces i don't know the military column sections wings wings yeah bits bits yeah so winchester was in charge of one of the bits of the army um it's good sounds official and the bit that he was leading really got close to mutiny i mean they they were about to go full on wow yeah uh but fortunately just, they were about to go full on.

Wow. Yeah. But fortunately, just as they're about to pick up their rifles and march off, a delivery of hogs arrived and everyone was happy again. Is it because they think they're cute or because it's food? Food. Or maybe. No, I just read delivery of hogs.

So maybe they just thought they were cute and it took their mind off. Or maybe they're like little micro hogs and everyone's allowed to keep fun. Tico pigs. Yeah well they think they are then they grow up and they're like massive. Yes. 800 pound. That's why for years afterwards you just saw vets walking around the land with a massive hog. Yeah. Following them. Yeah. Anyway my point being things are very miserable in the army. So Winchester leading, leading his bit of the army, actually arrives at the meeting point first. The idea is that all bits would rendezvous, so they become a big bit again. Oh, he'd been so smug at that. Yeah. He wouldn't show it, but inside.

Well, whilst he was waiting for Harrison and the other column to arrive... Bit. Sorry, bit, to arrive, the third bit. He decided to go to a nearby village called Frenchtown. What was it like there? Sad. Oh. Because it was occupied by the British.

Oh. Yeah, and people weren't very happy. So the plan was to push the British back, reclaim the town for America. And Winchester thought, this will be fine. Argo pushed back the small force the town for America. And Winchester thought this would be fine. Argo pushed back the small force that holds French for town. Harrison by that point will catch up, reinforce me, we'll hold

the town, I'll look brilliant. Tally-ho. What could possibly go wrong? Nothing at all. Well unfortunately Harrison and his bit was delayed. Ah, knew it. Yeah. So once Winchester took French town the British and Native American reinforcements arrived before Harrison did. it. Yeah. So once Winchester took Frenchtown, the British and Native American reinforcements arrived before Harrison did. Oh.

Yeah. Winchester looked around and realised his bit was actually quite small. Oh. Which is a shame. Yeah, he really needed Harrison's to help him out. Bigger bit. Yeah, exactly. He was captured and his troops surrendered.

The British then, part of their manoeuvres, retreated and left the American forces under the charge of the Native American forces they were allied with. And these forces were led by none other than Tecumseh, who was not personally present at the time, but nearby. So the American forces, about 500 of them, were taken, rounded up, and then between 30 and 100 of the US prisoners were brutally murdered. Oh. Yeah, in what became known as the Raisin River Massacre.

Why? Just because the Native American troops were pretty annoyed with the US troops and wanted to wreak some revenge, I imagine. I guess that's sort of fair, because they've had it done enough to them, I guess. Yeah, I mean, that's something that needs to be remembered with the fights between Native Americans and the US forces. Neither side were pleasant to each other. No. When the actual fighting started, both sides were ruthless. Yeah.

Yeah, this was quite horrific. There were reports of injured soldiers being burnt alive in buildings. Ugh. Yeah, it's quite nasty. Although it should be said these reports did come from the US side, so perhaps exaggerated, but... But not beyond the realms of possibility. Certainly not, no.

Yeah, some nasty stuff definitely happened. Oh dear. Tecumseh apparently found out about the treatment of the US prisoners and immediately rushed to the scene to put a stop to it. A bit too late. Yeah, I mean, Tecumseh was bright enough to realise that this was a bad idea. It's not a good PR move.

It's not a good PR move at all. But yeah, like you say, he's too late. The US now had a rallying cry and justification for any violence against Native Americans for the rest of the war and beyond. Yeah, this was used as an excuse for violence against Native American

people for a very long time. Anyway, Harrison carries on with the war. He does quite well. For quite a while, his forces were able to push forward and retake Detroit. So Britain lost Detroit, unfortunately. And then, more importantly, managed to overtake the retreating British and Tecumseh and got to the River Thames. That's a hell of a...

Yeah, really overtook. Some would argue overshot. No, this is obviously the River thames in north america ah i was confused for a moment thank you for clarifying it's just picturing them there some of them sir that's big ben i think we've gone too far i think you'll find it's the elizabeth tower yes the battle of the river thames takes place things looked good for harrison at the start of the battle after all he had 3 500 troops to the british slash native american troops 1 300 so more than double nice it's a good place to be yeah the british forces quickly decided that these were not fun odds to play with so um they tactically retreated yes or ran away screaming going my god we're all going to die

run for your life save yourself yeah i have a feeling it's closer to the second to be honest but uh i suppose it depends how you look at it. Their Native American allies, however, stayed on the field. Ooh. Yeah. That's around 500 men. Oh dear. Yeah. This is very much a last stand. You will be shocked to learn that Tecumseh's

500 men were destroyed. Yeah. Yeah. At some point, Tecumseh himself was killed, although we don't know who or when or where gun shot in canada near the river thames yeah probably just a gunshot from a soldier um but we're not 100 certain this question does come up later though when harrison's campaigning we do know that a mutilated body was dragged in front of Harrison for him to identify. Obviously, Harrison knew what Tecumseh looked like.

Two things went, eww. Well, pretty much, yeah. The US soldiers had been tearing off strips of his skin as souvenirs. Eww. Yeah, horrified Harrison. Just refused to let it be identified as Tecumseh because he had no idea whether it was him or not. But it took him back to his old doctoring days. Yes, quite possibly.

Anyway, to celebrate this victory, the US forces then burnt down a nearby Native American town, Moravian Town. This was a town belonging to a tribe of Christian Native Americans who were not part of the war. People are horrible. People are horrible. People are horrible. Yeah.

So that happened. The Native American resistance that had been building under Tecumseh and his brother fell apart. Oh, dear. The Native Americans would never really ever be able to fight back in such numbers again. Oh, dear. Yeah.

Incidentally, Tecumseh's brother, the prophet, survived the war he lived on. Oh, that's good. Yeah. It kind of fades into obscurity though. His influence with the Shawnee, so his own tribe kind of peters away after the war. He ends up dying in Kansas in 1836. Aww. Yeah.

That's three years before Elizabeth Tower was built. In London. Yes, yes it was. That's possibly what he was thinking on his deathbed. I never got to see it complete. Yes. See, now I need to keep that bit in the... Yeah.

Just don't, just cut it out as well. No, I'll leave it in, and people will just have a clue why you've said that until the end. Nice, I like it. Anyway, when news of Tecumseh's death reached the capital, Harrison was elevated to full national hero status. Yeah, he got a badge and everything. Oh, yes. And a hat.

Yeah, by the end of the war, he was second only to Jackson and the public's imagination. Wow, really? Yeah. Jackson saved the day down south, and Harrison saved the day up north. Nice. However, unlike Jackson, who carried on fighting after the war, Harrison didn't even make it to

the end of the war. He had a falling out with the Secretary of War, at the time Armstrong. Now we've come across him before. I recognise the name. Yeah, if you remember Munro also fell out with Armstrong. Yeah. He's the one when Madison kept asking him for advice, he kept half of things like, oh no we're screwed. The British are coming, we can't fight that. Yeah, he hasn't gone down in history very well as Armstrong.

Oh dear. And Harrison wasn't too pleased with him either. Now the reason why Harrison and Armstrong fell out, we're not 100% certain but it could be just as simple as Armstrong wanting Harrison to move aside so he could give some positions to his friends.

Whatever the reason, Armstrong made a beeline for Harrison, making sure that everything under Harrison was audited thoroughly. How many guns, how many pellets you've got. Harrison woke up one day to find an army of people with clipboards. Oh, that's not the worst thing ever.

He can fight the British and the Native Americans, but not the auditors. No. No. They're like the worst people ever. Yeah, exactly. Because they don't take sob stories. No, they really don't. I did have a piss.

It was here yesterday. Yeah. I must have lost it. It belonged to my mother. Don't say anything. They just make a mark on their clipboard. Or they put the green pen down, get the red pen out, and click. Yeah.

So Harrison had enough of this. As you would. As you would. Armstrong also then rearranged the structure of command in the army. And, oh, look. Harrison suddenly had less power than he had before. Less of the command. Nothing could be done, though, Harrison, honestly.

It's just a reshuffle. Yeah. Starting to get fed up with this game of politics, Harrison, honestly. It's just a reshuffle. Yeah. Starting to get fed up with this game of politics, Harrison decided to go all in. He sent a letter of resignation to President Madison. Some historians feel that this was a bluff. Write directly to Madison, say that's it, I quit because Armstrong's a tit. Direct quote there. Yeah, hoping obviously to get the president to weigh in. Yeah.

No, of course you can't resign. No. And pull Armstrong back a bit. However, if this was the plan, it backfired miserably. Oh dear. Yeah, because Armstrong intercepted the letter of resignation and gleefully wrote back to Harrison, accepting it on Madison's behalf. Oh, no.

Yeah. That's awful. Imagine the day he received that letter. Son of a... When Madison found out, perhaps to soothe some feathers, Harrison was given the job of negotiating peace treaties with the Native American tribes.

You know how he slaughtered you. Not an enviable job. Well, Harrison, remember, is actually quite good with negotiations. It's what he's been doing for years out there. So it was a sensible choice. You'll not be shocked to learn, however, that these treaties, these peace treaties, included a lot of seeding of large portions of land.

Oh, is this where they, like, got other tribes to okay things and then just took it? Yeah, more of that happened. Yeah, yeah. Continuation. Remember, this is also at the same time that Jackson was doing the same. Yeah. Yeah. okay things and then just took it yeah more of that happened yeah yeah continuation remember this is also at the same time that jackson was doing the same yeah yeah it was the war was used to move a lot of tribes on anyway the war then ends as we've seen before harrison finishes up his negotiations he's no longer governor so he moves back to his log cabin in ohio remember he

had a log cabin yeah he kept mentioning it said log cabin in Ohio. Remember he had a log cabin? Yeah, he kept mentioning that. He said, log cabin, remember this. Remember it, yeah. He kept reiterating it. So he's gone back to it. He's 41 at this point, just to give you a sense of how old he is. What is it with a log cabin?

You'll find out in this episode, don't worry. Tell me now. No. Oh. Anyway, he wrote to a friend to say that he saw his life is settled now. He's in Ohio. He's got his wife and nine children up to this point. Nine?

Yeah. Oh, he gets more? Ten in total. Wow. Yeah. Plus two children of men who he had served with during the war. How is that, like, physically possible? No, not Harrison and the men.

It's not their children. Oh! Things aren't quite that progressive in the early 1800s. Biologically weird. No, these are children who were orphaned because of the war. So he's adopted them. Yeah, he's taken them in. So yeah, the house that they're in, full of life.

Yes. Imagine now they're just like kids tearing around. He's just looking very tired. Yeah. The war was easier than this. Less blood. Right, go on on then let's talk about the log cabin yes so the house they're in was the original log cabin so you're picturing a log cabin yeah now originally yes it was made of logs but it was a big log cabin like a grandiose sort of because this isn't the same home you had built no no it's not on that scale but it's it was a decent log cabin yeah now however it's unrecognizable yes technically the logs are still

there but you can't see them everything's been plastered over and extended and rebuilt to create a 16 room mansion gardens and orchards two very large halls and an extensive kitchen. So this log cabin, he still called it a log cabin. Well, no, but it will come back. Okay. Yeah. I live in a humble log cabin. You're starting to get the idea, though.

Yes. Nice. But don't picture a log cabin at all. Okay. We're not talking Virginian mansion size. No. We're not even talking the size of his governor house that he built. But it is still a sizeable house.

Big as your house? Bigger than my house. Bigger than your house. Bigger than pretty much any house in England. Because all our houses are smaller compared to American houses. Because we don't have as much room. That's true. And if I just stretch my arm right now, I'm into your neighbour's living room.

That's weird. Yeah, it's weird. Hey, Sue. She's a fan. She has to. So anyway, Harrison, like Washington a few decades before, found his home turning into a sort of hotel, tourist attraction. He was a war hero and he was at home.

People want to see him, want to rub shoulders with him, maybe get a mention, you know. Yeah, exactly. Try to make him look good. And unlike Jackson, he didn't terrify people, so people would actually turn up. He doesn't sharpen his pistols. Yeah, exactly.

And I'll quote here, Harrison kept an open table with every visitor welcome. So you turned up, you were fed, you were housed. That's nice. It was nice.

Apparently, a whole ham was eaten every single day by family and guests. Just a pen of really nervous-looking pig in the back. I'm sure that was an example of how much food was eaten, but I'd like to think it was actually a challenge. The Harrison Eating Challenge. No one leaves the room until the entire ham's gone.

You've got one hour. Go! Children just prayed for visitors otherwise. It was just the 11 of them and they had to finish the whole ham. Who wants the nipples? Simpler times. So anyway, yeah, Harrison's got a lot on his plate, not just the ham. He's got all of these dependents that are looking to him to provide.

So he attempts to get into business remember his business ventures from last time wasn't he not very good at them they didn't do too well this time collapsed yeah yeah this time however he invests in various things a foundry an export company for example um yeah they they all come to nothing still still yeah i was gonna say because you sound like more positive on the site, is it because his name carries more weight now? No. Oh, OK.

No, these just don't work out. Yeah, money soon becomes a real problem. He's the kind of person, if he's alive now, he'd put all his money into those start-up campaigns, wouldn't he? Yeah, exactly. Tea mugs that call you tea. Yes, that's what he'd invest in yeah he was uh forced to borrow against his land to maintain the style of life that his family in themselves had now

become accustomed to yeah so he needed cash basically and he was very busy uh he was the most prominent citizen in ohio by far so he was constantly going off to open this building or giving a speech at that event and just generally being a bit of a celebrity. Hardly surprisingly, it was only a matter of time before he was elected to Congress. This came just in time for Harrison. He had heard that certain people in the capital

were besmirching his name, trying to stop him from getting a gold medal for his service in the army. So, yeah, he managed to turn up to defend himself. And he did just the trick. Harrison was awarded his gold medal, which is nice. Oh, good. Yeah.

I don't know who got the silver and the bronze, but Harrison got the gold. Good. So he should. Yeah. He also spent his time successfully pushing for pensions for the widows and children of men who had died fighting in the war. Oh, that's really lovely. Yeah. He also spent his time successfully pushing for pensions for the widows and children of men who had died

fighting in the war. Oh, that's really lovely. Yeah, yeah. Because you can imagine some families just being destroyed because of that. Yeah, definitely. No breadwinner now.

Yeah, Harrison became the go-to guy for this. If you had someone who died in the war and you were struggling, Harrison was the man to talk to.

See, that's the trouble. If he's doing those progressive things now when he's president, I can imagine him being quite popular with people. Well, we'll see man to talk to. See, that's the trouble. If he's doing those progressive things now, when he's president, I can imagine him being quite popular with people. Well, we'll see. We'll see. He also wanted military training for all men in America. Makes sense, rather than relying on militias.

Well, yeah, exactly. Like, anyone who's come into contact with a militia so far in US history, he soon realised that militias were awful. And after all, he pointed out, this is what the Romans did. High five. Yeah, remember he was Roman obsessed. Oh yes, got his sister's own book in his pocket.

Yeah, they conquered the world with their citizens, well-educated in military matters. Everyone nodded wisely and high-fived. Isn't that a bit of a romanticised view, though? Well, yeah, I was about to point out it's not actually true. The Romans did not train all men in military matters whatsoever. But the sense was that the Romans were much better at this than we are. Well, you wouldn't give Jeff a sword, would you?

Yeah, exactly. So anyway, he does that for a while, and then his term is up. And he returns home not seeking re-election. Instead, he was appointed to the State Senate, which is a much less demanding job. For one, he could stay at home. Nice. Harrison was clearly not in the mood for retirement, though, because

he ran for State Governor. And lost. And then ran for the House of Representatives. And lost. But it's fine, because then he ran again. And lost. He's not doing well, is he, with his whole trying to achieve? You can imagine that Anaya started to twitch slightly.

Eventually, however, he was elected to the US Senate as a representative for Ohio. Once back in the capital, he was a supporter of the then-president John Quincy Adams. We've got to join Quincy Adams now. If you remember, John Quincy Adams was saying some crazy stuff, such as, perhaps the government should build some roads. We could do with some infrastructure in this country. It's a bit of a mess, guys. Trust me, I've been to Europe. And most people were saying, no, you're talking crazy talk.'s an infringement on on our rights yeah you can't tell us states what to do exactly should be independent of government then this was a problem exactly uh harrison fully supported john quincy's point of view yeah he liked the

idea of government helping to build roads after all ohio was still mostly mud tracks and pretty could use some help that's's weird, isn't it? It's like socially, it's like a weird mix of you get the government genuinely trying to make the country better. Yeah. But you also get that deep-rooted suspicion. Yes, exactly. Of autocracy and control. Which is why American politics is still like it is today.

They never got rid of this suspicion. Yeah. Anyway, I've got a quote from Harrison here about building roads. I have seen a great deal of human misery, but I have never seen it in any shape which touched my heart in a greater degree than in the emigrants to the Western country before the Cumberland Road was constructed, said the man who had seen several battles and ordered the burning down of numerous villages. He saw Tecumseh unrecognisable.

Yeah. With skin flayed from his body. Yeah. And someone in the bit inconvenienced with a mud track. Well, it's a political thing, though, isn't it? Yeah, definitely. And he does have a point, even if it is slightly hyperbole. It's very hard to get anything done when there's no roads.

It's true. How are you going to drive your 2x4 down there? Exactly. With a log of wood. Yes. But that's not all he's very hard to get anything done when there's no roads. It's true. How are you going to drive your 2x4 down there? Exactly. With a log of wood. Yes. But that's not all he's getting up to. Whilst he's in Washington, he was also attempting to get a better job for himself. One that actually paid some decent money.

Because he's broke. But he's part of Congress. I guess there's a lot of outgoings, though. Yeah, lots of outgoings. And the pay wasn't that great. He needed something a bit better. Yeah. So, he attempted to become the vice president.

Ooh. Yeah. Well, I can tell you that doesn't work. No, it really didn't. He didn't manage that. Instead, he went for a diplomatic position. Okay. To Mexico.

That didn't work out either. Okay. Yeah. But then, Colombia. That one works. Ah. John Quincy Adams wrote, and I quote here, This person's thirst for lucrative office is absolutely rabid.

Vice President, Major General, Minister to Columbia for each of these places, he has been this session as hot in pursuit as a hound on the scent of a hare. John Quincy Adams also wrote that Harrison was lively and active but, and I quote, shallow-minded. Yeah, he wants a position without sort of knowing what he's doing. He needs the money is why he's doing it.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, he needs a decent paid job. So by Columbia, do you mean the state or the country? The country. Oh, that's very nice of him, isn't it? It's a very new country. Yeah, get with it. It's not Columbia as it is today. This, that's very nice. I've been there. It's a very new country. Yeah, it would have been.

It's not Colombia as it is today. This is what's known as Grand Columbia. It's very warm. Yes, it would be. Lots of parrots. Grand Columbia is an area that covers modern Colombia, obviously. Venezuela, Ecuador, Panama, parts of Peru, a little bit of Brazil. It was a big, sprawling country on the north of the southern american continent

it's a classic country or a territory about them oh no no it's just become a country it's a new country oh they lose all our land in the future well it was the most prestigious country in south america and many at the time saw it as destined to grow in the same way that the united states had it was seen as the next big country to emerge. It's got part of the rainforest areas, you've got that stuff there, you've got rivers, you've got a lot of... It's in prime position. The potential was definitely there. It was currently ruled by the revolutionary

Simon Bolivia, which Bolivia's named after. Really? Oh, wow. Yeah, he had led the country to freedom against the Spanish. He was the Colombian George Washington. Nice. Yeah.

Which some might dispute, but I'm just going to say it anyway. Yeah. So yeah, that's the Columbia we're talking about here. Nice. And he might want the job, but John Quincy Adams wasn't too keen and didn't want to give him the position. However, finally, after lots of badgering from supporters of Harrison, John Quincy Adams gives in. Fine.

But states, and I quote here, Harrison wants the Columbia mission much more than it wants him. I've got this weird sense of doom, just always following Harrison around. It's pretty weird. It's like I can never really achieve anything. It's pretty odd. Well, Harrison and his 18-year-old son and this cloud of poor tent arrive in Colombia in December 1828. After spending nearly a year travelling, it took them a very long time to get there.

Wow. Yeah, they survived a storm at sea and then had to spend 40 days trekking through the Andes. It was a long, arduous journey. Harrison was most upset that his silverware had not managed to survive the journey. Oh, no. Yeah. That's disappointing.

That is disappointing. I'm sure all his slaves thought the same. Yes, sir, we are sorry that you lost all your silverware. Tragic. My heart breaks. Bernard died, but silverware, no, that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's my father, but don't worry about it.

He was holding the silverware when he went over the cliff, but no, that's fine. You concentrate on the silverware, sir. Anyway, eventually him and his son make it to the capital. He rented a large house and was soon making diplomatic friendships. He set up a vegetable garden, which is nice. I can imagine all the confused looks from the Colombians at the time. What's he doing?

Well, no, they were very impressed. Apparently, for a while, whenever there was a big stately dinner put on, they'd call around Harrison's house and ask for some vegetables. He grew a fine turnip, apparently. Possibly. I've made that part up. But I'm going to say, do turnips grow in Colombia? I don't know. They're wetter colder weather don't know vegetables you don't don't know peppers peppers yes let's say peppers no it's chili oh yeah we're in colombia idiot so there

he is in his vegetable garden uh starting to think about how he could best achieve his diplomatic goals he's got to start making making the right moves in the right circles. Yes. Get to know the right people, figure out what's going on with the government of Colombia. But Harrison could not help but feel that this southern country was not actually doing too well. He'd heard good things, but when he got there and he looked around, there was a lot of talk of mutiny and treason in the air. Harrison was not entirely convinced that the hero Bolivia was actually a hero at all, but potentially a dictator in the making. Then, in

March of 1829, this is four months after arriving in Colombia, Jackson became president. Yeah, okay. And one of the very first things he did was replace Harrison. Literally days after he became president. First thing he did? Yeah. Pretty much became president. First thing he did.

Yeah, pretty much it was the first thing he did. The speed in which he fired his fellow war hero led many to accuse Jackson of pettiness. You just don't like him because he's also a war hero. You just want to get rid of him. And that may well have been. The two men had not really crossed paths much before. There was one incident that would have struck

with Jackson, though. Do you remember in his episode he had two British men executed in Florida? Yeah! And you remember how he overturned the findings of his own kangaroo cause? Yeah. Yeah, and then just had them both killed. Well, this issue hit the floor of Congress

when Harrison was in Congress, and most people voted to censure Jackson for the deaths. So to tell him off officially. The minority decided not to. It's fine. He's allowed to do that. Only one person did something different and that was Harrison. He censured

Jackson for one of the deaths but not the other. He made the point that the court had actually issued a death sentence to one of the men. Yeah. So that's fine. It's okay. But the one that wasn't sentenced to death and then was executed, that shouldn't have

happened. He was making a... A logical point. A logical point. Perhaps it would have been better just to say, no, Jackson, you can't do that. Yeah. But he was making a point. What this did do was really make Harrison's name stick out to Jackson.

Yeah. Oh, that guy. Yeah, fire him. Yeah. When Harrison's replacement arrived in Colombia shortly afterwards, Harrison sent a letter to Bolivia, giving him some friendly advice on how not to become a dictator. I'm sure that was well received.

Well, I'll quote here. Are you willing that your name should descend into posterity amongst the mass of those whose fame have been derived from shedding human blood without a single advantage to the human race? Or, shall it be united to that of Washington

as the founder and father of a happy and great people? In other words, you really need to be more like us. More like the civilised folk. Yeah, pretty much. Said the diplomat. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, Harrison, after sending this letter, then went on a bit of a sightseeing tour before heading home, but was horrified to learn that the Colombian government had accused him of plotting with insurrectionists. Oh dear. Yeah. Perhaps that letter didn't go down too well. It's not. You never know. It's hard to say.

Just an image of Bolivia reading it. Kill him. Eyes narrowing. Slowly crumpling the paper as he reads. Yeah. Anyway, Harrison realised perhaps it was time to leave the country. Yeah, he managed to gain passage on a merchant ship

heading for New York after being stranded for a few weeks not being able to find a way home. Right. Yeah, he was trying to get out.

Harrison was so grateful to the captain of the ship that the captain received an invite to his inauguration address when he became president years later. Oh.

Yeah. That's nice. It is. Harrison's full of these nice little touches. Oh. Yeah. That's nice. It is. Harrison's full of these nice little touches. Yeah. Yeah. And full of old ears. Yeah.

Yeah. Weird. Anyway. He arrives home in Ohio 19 months after leaving with nothing whatsoever to show for it. Apart from a few stories of a vegetable garden and fleeing the Colombian government. Yeah. And a pet macaw, a parrot. Oh.

Yeah, so from now on, you are officially allowed to picture Harrison with a parrot on his shoulder. Yes. Yes, because he's got one. Has he got a name? Oh, I didn't think to look, so you can invent one, and then listeners can send us the name of the parrot, and I'll edit in the future, which I won't.

Feathers. Feathers. But I'd go, you know, which I won't. Feathers. Feathers. But I'll go, you know, because I think everyone expects a weird name or a jointy name. I'll go with Feathers. Feathers. Because he doesn't seem that creative. Yeah, Feathers Harrison. Yeah.

Or Harrison Feathers. Yeah. That's what he was debating with his son for the whole journey back. Oh, that's a long journey. Yes, it is. Anyway, not long after this, he received news that his investment into an iron refinery, yeah, that had fallen through. Yeah.

And it left him in a lot of debt. Not surprised. Yeah, burdens then piled on when his eldest son died in 1830. Oh, no. Yeah. Sad in its own right, but also his son was thousands of dollars in debt, which got passed on to his widowed wife. Oh.

Yeah. And also, they had six children. Oh. So the wife and the six children were taken into Harrison's household. So he's now got a lot more mouths to feed. That's 16. Yeah. And also this debt, which, I mean,

obviously Harrison's got to try and work that out. In fact, he travelled all the way to Washington to pull some strings to make the debt just go away. Which he didn't quite succeed in, but he did manage

to get his daughter-in-law to be able to pay it off over a period of 18 years with no interest. That's good. Yeah. So, I mean, he managed to do something good there. Then a flood hit in 1832, left much of his property damaged.

So that needed to be repaired. And then another one of his sons, Benjamin, Benjamin Harrison, suddenly found himself thousands of pounds in debt. Oh. And I'll quote Harrison here about the whole situation yeah i have sold so much of my property that should i be obliged to sell as much as would clear me of the debt i should be left without the means of supporting my family he's in serious monetary troubles here he's a really unlucky guy isn't he or or just really bad at choosing investments. But, yeah.

Yeah. And still, his family grew. Around this time... What? Yes. His second son, John Scott Harrison, had a son. Yeah. Guess what the son's name is? John?

No. What are they all called in this family? Oh, William. No. Ben. Benjamin. Benjamin. Yes.

Another Benjamin Harrison. Oh, brilliant. Might want to make a note of that one, though. Might want to put, another Benjamin Harrison. Oh, brilliant. Might want to make a note of that one, though. Might want to put a box around him. Oh, he's become emperor. Yes, he becomes emperor. Anyway, Harrison was rescued from his woes when he got a job as a clerk of the county courts. No salary, but he could charge for the work he was doing,

so he would get the equivalent of 10 000 a year roughly so yeah he's starting to get some money and i mean this this wasn't amazing but it was property saving yeah yeah it meant that he wasn't going under anymore him and his son carter worked together on the job and their house was saved good things still tight though that plus the fact that he ran for and lost a race for the senate indicated that the future wasn't really bright for the ageing general. At this point, you can really imagine just a descent into woes and troubles, can't you? How the hell has he become president? Well, let's leave Harrison there in his log cabin, inverted commas,

and pan over to Washington. Because Jackson is in charge in Washington. He's the president, and he's making enemies, as we have seen. Yes. And Van Buren was pulling the strings in the background, doing his whole magician thing. He was. Yes, and he is also making enemies. Politicians from up and down the country, old Federalists, old Republicans alike, who disliked Jackson and all he stood for was starting to get organised. As we've seen, this political movement turned into the Whig Party. Yes. The Whigs stood for several things. Public schools, public roads. Mostly, however, what they really stood for was the downfall of Andrew Jackson and everyone around him. Yeah, they saw Jackson as a

dictator in the making. So due to this, they were not really a fully unified force. You had Northern Whigs who were anti-slavery and saw Jackson as a pro-slavery president who they hated. Equally, you had Southern Whigs who were pro-state rights over national rights. Yeah. Which, as we saw in Jackson and Calhoun's toast-off, Jackson was not happy with. Of course, one of these states' rights that the Southern Whigs wanted to protect was slavery. And this did not go down well with the Northern Whigs. Yes, they all hated Jackson, but for very different reasons.

So this new forming political party needed someone who could lead all of them, get rid of Jackson and then they could sort out the problems in the party. Trouble is that it would never be unified because you've got so many differences. Yeah, this was seen as impossible at the time. The leading Whig newspaper itself wrote, we desire the impossible. Yeah. Yeah.

What would the Wh wig newspaper be called? I'm trying to think of a funny wig pun. The News to Pay. Oh! Oh, that's brilliant. Maybe that's why they were angry at the party because they were, you know,

balding slightly. Maybe. That's a party I'll be joining in five years. I hear you get a free wig. Well, the leading wig in this time was seen as Henry Clay, who obviously

we've come across a few times before. He was an obvious choice by many to lead the wigs, but his daughter had just died, and he did not want to run in an election that was seen as a thankless task. After all, the Democrats were very popular at this time, and Van Buren was seen as a thankless task. Yeah. After all, the Democrats were very popular at this time

and Van Buren was seen as a shoo-in, really. There was no way he could lose. So, who could unite them? If it's not going to be Henry Clay, who can do this? Oh, no. Which one person could step up to the plate and unite everyone? Oh, don't say it. Face up against Van Buren himself?

Oh, no. Well, it turned out no one. Oh, thank goodness. The Whigs, in an attempt to stop the Democrats taking the majority, put forth four candidates. I always remember that. It sort of separated the votes. Yeah, I think I said three last time, but it looks like it's four.

So I made a mistake there. I apologise. But yeah, each of these candidates were popular in their own regions, and the idea, like you say, is to make sure Van Buren doesn't get the majority. Yeah. And then that forces the decision to the House. And then maybe they could work some political magic. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe a corrupt bargain could be struck or something. Nice. It's worked before. So they needed some people who were popular in different regions. So names started to be floated around. Who was popular enough in each region to stand against the Democrats? Harrison was not the first choice in Ohio, but a man named McLean.

Unfortunately, though, McLean apparently wasn't too keen on running for president in an election that obviously he would lose. So more names were spread about. And it's at this point some of Harrison's friends suggested that perhaps Harrison had a think about this. He's achieved a lot. Well, after all, they said, Harrison has a military record to rival Jackson himself.

And, and this was really important, no one really knew who he was. That's true. Sure, they'd heard the name Harrison, the war hero, but what did he stand for? Not many people knew he was a blank slate. Nice.

And the Wicks had learnt the advantage of this recently from Van Buren himself. Yeah, that's true. He had shown just how far you can go by not committing to anything. Yeah. Yeah, so the more people thought about it, we've got a hero here. Everyone knows his name, but no one's got a clue what he stands for. Yeah. So the more people thought about it, we've got a hero here. Everyone knows his name, but no one's got a clue what he stands for. Perfect.

Not only that, it gets even better. He was a Westerner. He lived in the West, on the frontier. He lived there all his life, almost. He's got experience. Yeah. With dodgy roads. Exactly.

He was a Northerner as well. He was in the Northwest. He was from up North. He was a Southerner. He was from Virginia. He ticks all the boxes. Exactly. He was anything you wanted him to be. That's good. Oh yes. Not everyone was convinced. Clay himself was not too keen on the idea. And Nicholas Biddle, who I mentioned before, was running the banks. Jackson had a falling out with him.

The name rings a bell. It's a funny name. I think the name rings a bell because he's got the most Harry Potter name in the world. It really does. So much so I actually googled it to check to see if he was a Harry Potter character. And I don't think Nicholas Biddle is. But he sounds like a Harry Potter character. Yeah, it does.

So I'm guessing he was actually a wizard. Anyway, Biddle wasn't 100% certain, but realised that Harrison should definitely play to his strengths if he was to run. Harrison should only talk about the past. Don't mention anything about the future. Yes. And I will quote him here. Let him say not a single word about his principles or creed.

Let him say nothing. Promise nothing. Let no council council no conversation no town meeting even extract a single word about what we will do hereafter try to play van buren's game aren't i yeah exactly because because if you commit to something they'll hold you to account for it later on when it goes tits up yeah pretty much yeah so with this lukewarm reception from some of the high up wigs but with a very real growing faction behind him few gentle claps yeah harrison started campaigning which at this time

mostly meant let people visit him at his house i guess that's a gentlemanly way to do it back then you come visit me i'm not trying to be president. I'm just, you know. Ah, we're going to come to that. Oh. Yes. Oh, okay. But not just yet. Anyway, come the election, Harrison actually did really rather well. Oh. There were worries that rumours of him being too old, he's now in his mid-60s, would harm his chances. But he polled very respectably.

He got 36.6% of the popular vote, wiping the floor of the other Whig candidates. That's good. Yeah. I guess the war hero status is good. Yeah, exactly. Van Buren, however, got 50.8%, enough to win outright just about. So he became the eighth president. And then, as we saw in his episode, a few days after he became the president the economy

fell over and twitched slightly however the depression that settled on the wigs must have lifted somewhat i mean okay yeah the economy's falling over but oh actually we've been saying this is going to be this was going to happen for ages. And it's all Van Buren's fault now. Yeah, definitely. It's Jackson and Van Buren. They've ruined the country. This would never have happened if it was all of our men. No, definitely not.

So, the next election. Yes, it was four years away, but it was now theirs for the taking. And this time, they would be ready. And I'll quote here, We must prepare for the next campaign and profit by the errors of the last, said a friend to Harrison. Nice. So on the back of Harrison's performance in 36, Harrison was gaining more and more support. But he was not alone, because Henry Clay, now feeling like it was his time, made it clear that he wanted the job. Yeah. Yeah. And he was seen by many as the leader of the Whigs.

Clay, a career politician, perhaps felt that the job was rightfully his. I mean, he'd been working for this for years. He was telling his friends that Harrison was vain, shallow, and small-minded. There we go with the shallow and small-minded again. One day, Clay received a letter from Harrison, and I'll quote here. A few years ago, I could not have believed in the possibility of my being placed in a position of apparent rivalry to you, particularly in relation to the presidency, an office that I have never dreamed of attaining, and which I ardently wish to see you occupy. Fate, as Bonaparte would say, has placed me where I am am and i wait the result which time will determine

with little anxiety as anyone has ever felt so situated he's trying to show he's not a threat yeah do you think he meant it well i also think it must have been a very irritating letter to clay who worked all his life trying to get here and there. And there's this old general saying, yeah, I'll do it if they want me to. Oh, it's a dig. Oh, that'd be annoying, yeah. Yeah. But also, I do get the feeling that this is Harrison just being polite. He comes across as a polite man.

Probably stupid. Anyway, Clay had all the experience to do the job. He had years of records of him being able to be a good politician. Yes. But that is his main problem. Yet again, we see the fact that Whigs could look at Clay and decide whether they liked him or not, whereas they could look at Harrison and just project their own views onto him. That's true. Take slavery, for example. Both men thought roughly the same thing. Both said slavery was terrible, but unfortunately it must continue with slave states because the states have the right to carry on.

Nothing we can do about it. It's terrible, but... Nice. Oh dear. Pretty much the view we've seen from pretty much all the presidents so far. However, the difference between the two men was that every anti-slavery protester across the entire United States knew Clay was pro-slavery.

And no one really knew what Harrison thought. He was a war hero, wasn't he? And Ohio didn't have slaves up there, so he's probably anti-slavery. Harrison pushes this advantage to breaking point. Ridiculously

so. When asked about various issues affecting the country, he responded that his respect for Congress was so great that he did not feel that he could, and I quote here, could not express opinions on subjects which belong to future legislation of Congress. Oh, nice.

I can't possibly talk about anything that affects the country because Congress might make a decision on it in future. And I respect Congress so much. That's beautiful. I just don't think you'd get away with that nowadays. No. But maybe. No accountability at all. Yeah. Anyway, the momentum was building. But then personal tragedy struck. Wife died? No. Oh. In 1838, William Harrison Jr. died at the age of 35. Oh. Then his son Carter died the following year. Oh my goodness.

Yeah. A couple of years after, as the election was near, his son Benjamin Harrison died. Three children died in quick succession in this period of campaigning. Harrison, perhaps to distract himself from the grief, threw himself into the upcoming election. Sounds bad, but great PR. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't want to be doing this, but he's doing it for the good of the country. Yes. Yeah.

Taunts of his age haunted him from the last election. He was determined to prove that he could work as hard as any younger man. The Whigs, realising that they needed more organisation this time, called their first ever convention. Okay. of realising that they needed more organisation this time called their first ever convention. Oh, okay. Yeah. And in a display of modernisation, seats were reserved for, and I quote here, reporters of the newspaper press. Oh, that's clever. Yes.

This election really was a turning point in US history. It's being done very differently. Now, in one of the books I read about this convention, the author made a note to say that organising the press was perhaps easier back then, because the press made no attempt to pretend that they were non-partisan. Yeah. Yeah. Now, I checked. This book was

written in 2012. I'm not entirely convinced a line like that would be surviving in a book published this year. Absolutely not. The idea of having non-partisan press do you remember those happy days yeah the press has always been in some way partisan but it just seems far more aggressively so now doesn't it yeah it's um that it's just not hidden anymore is it no in our lifetimes it used to be Yeah, they could hide behind it a little bit and be more innuendo and suggestion.

Now it's just blatantly. I watch a lot of American news to keep on top of American politics. And I'm always struck. And it's not just Fox News, although they are the worst for it, their use of pronouns from MSNBC, from Fox, even CNN, quite often say things like us and we when they mean the Democratic Party or the Republican Party. Oh, really? Yeah.

And it's like, you're reporting the news and you're just openly saying, it's like, you just don't get that in this country. That's true. Even in organisations where you think there's a bit of bias, you just don't't get it you don't see it it's always a bit weird a bit jarring that's i've never noticed that yeah anyway back in the early days where we are now yeah reporters would openly be um supporters of a party and reporting on a party was almost a stepping stone to get into the the politics well that, that's what it would have been. That was like an interview almost.

Yeah. How much I support you. Let me in. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, so we're starting to see the press really get involved. We're starting to see conventions and reporting on the details of political parties. Yeah. So let's cover this convention, shall we?

The race was down to three men. Whoever won this would be put forward to become presidents against Van Buren. So this is the party... Nomination, yes. Yes. Yeah. But considering Van Buren was doing so badly, whoever won this is a good chance they're going to become presidents.

And it is down to Harrison Clay and a man named Scott, who was another general, but a younger general. None of the candidates were present. They all were all at home awaiting news. The convention ran thus. 254 men from all states had a vote. This is two men for each seat in the House and the Senate that the party held in Washington.

Right. So if you had a senator from Virginia, you got two people in this vote. Right. Yeah. The first man to get a majority, so 127, would become the nominee for the Whigs. Okay. So first ballot was taken.

Counted up, Clay Lett with 103 votes, Harrison second, 94, Scott Trailing with 57. Clearly no majority, but Clay doing quite well. Yeah. Okay. Bit of a pause. Let's take a second bout. The results were exactly the same. Okay. Okay.

So no one changed their mind then. Yeah, exactly. You're not quite understanding this, guys. We need some movement. Oh, this is not going to work. Drop Scott. Well, then there was some politicking, some backroom chats.

Here we go. Some people leaning against the bar and having a word. It would appear that Scott's supporters did the best job, because in the third ballot, Clay went down to 95. Harrison went down slightly to 91. Scott got a modest bump, up to 68. More deadlock. In fact, even more deadlock than before.

They're even closer. Okay. Never mind. Let's do another vote. Exactly the same results as the third. Excellent. Yeah. But then, the wonderfully named Thaddeus Stevens. That's a brilliant name. It is. Who was essentially Harrison's campaign manager decided something must be done.

So, he walked across the room. Revolutionary! Oh yes. Oh my goodness. So he walked across the room. Revolutionary. Oh, yes. Oh, my goodness. You've got to picture this. Yeah. Room full of politicians.

Right. Mingling, chatting. Backstabbing. Metaphorically, possibly, not literally. No. Dealing, making promises. Yeah. Filling up this church room that they're in.

Yeah. There's a big group of delegates from Virginia just standing together having a chat, talking about what's going on. And you're watching him here. Yeah. Going to slow motion slightly. Ooh, it's got slightly black and white as well. Okay.

The sound's dimmed as well. It's become muffled. Thaddeus Stevens, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. He pushes his way through the Virginian delegates and then zoom into his pocket because they're slowly falling to the ground. It's a piece of paper. And then, calm as you like, he just carries on walking.

Then, predictably, a few minutes later, one of the Virginians looks down. Oh, what's this? It's a letter on the floor. He picks it up. He reads it. Probably drinking his whiskey, of course. Yeah.

Halfway through reading it, so zoom in on the eyes, going left and right, left and right, and then suddenly the whiskey's out of his mouth, spluttering. What a waste. I know, it's terrible. Because what he is reading is a letter from Scott

expressing sympathy with an abolitionist movement. Scott is anti-slavery. It's down there in black and white. Oh. Oh, yes. Word soon got around the Virginian delegates and all the delegates from the South. Scott didn't believe in owning people. What a monster.

Yes. The change was rapid. Virginia announced that they could not support Scott anymore. What a monster. Yes. The change was rapid. Virginia announced that they could not support Scott anymore. And, as Thaddeus Stevens predicted, their support went to Harrison. After all, a Virginian man. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And hard to pin down. Yeah. Yeah. The third ballot was cast. Scott, 16. Oh, dear. That's probably what he said. Yeah. Scott 16 oh dear that's probably what he said yeah Clay

90 Harrison 148 oh wow okay so Harrison became the nominee in a race against a very unpopular president

oh my goodness also incidentally a man named Tyler was made nominee for vice president. No one really thought much of it. Vice president isn't a real job anyway. So just bear that in mind.

Tyler's vice president. What's his first name? John. John Tyler? Yeah. I've heard that name. Yeah. Anyway, Clay, bitterly disappointed, to his credit, swung behind Harrison.

I'll quote here. Oh wow. We have not been contending for'll quote here. Oh, wow. We have not been contending for Clay or Scott. No, we have been contending for principles. Nice. He perhaps hoped that enough support now would mean a good position in Harrison's government. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

However, what these principles were is actually quite hard to pin down. Like I've said, the strongest unifying force in the Whig Party was their hatred for Jackson and Van Buren. Yeah. But if what they stood for was hard to pin down. Like I've said, the strongest unifying force in the Whig Party was their hatred for Jackson and Van Buren. But if what they stood for was hard to pin down, they were determined to let it known what they were against.

And the Democrats helped them do it. Because one Democratic paper sneered at Harrison. They stated he was a washed up retired general. And I'll quote here. Give him a barrel of cider and a pension of two thousand a year, and, out word for it, he will

sit the remainder of his days in a log cabin by the side of a cheap coal fire and study moral philosophy. He'd probably love that, though, wouldn't he? Quite possibly. This ill-thought-out attack was seized upon by the Whigs. It summed up exactly

what they were against, the elitism of the Democrats. Harrison was a hard cider-drinking log cabin owner. He was one of us. He was one of the people. Yeah, that's what we all do, innit? In his small little log cabin. Exactly.

And so begins one of the most infamous campaigns in US history, where the Whigs ran an amazing campaign that blew everything that had come before it out of the water. We covered the songs last week, and the whiskey, and the shampoo. What? Yeah, the Harrison shampoo was made and sold. Other things were going on that I didn't mention last week, though. It's often remarked that the greatest trick that the Whigs pulled in this election is the fact that they managed to portray Harrison as a welcoming contradiction.

He was at one moment a man of the people, living in his log cabin. The next moment, and sometimes in the same article, like the next paragraph, he was the son of the signer, Virginian aristocracy. He was pro and anti-slavery. He was a war hero and a common soldier. Despite the fact he was very much a member of the country's elite, and very obviously so, he was sold as a man of the people. Now again, amusingly, one of the books that I was reading dedicated a whole page covering how this could possibly happen. Because after all, according to this book, it seems very hard for the modern reader to understand.

But this was achieved. People weren't stupid, but they seemed to be able to overlook the evidence before them that Harrison was not a working class man in a log cabin. Again, this book was written pre-2016. We have seen the same trick before our very eyes very recently. This week, probably. Yeah, where you've got a billionaire member of the elite of America being sold very much as a working class man. Yeah. Anyway, election fever took over the entire country. This was obviously pre-television radio.

Newspapers were around, but they didn't do things like cover sport because you didn't get national sports back. Word of mouth would be the propaganda, I'm guessing. But also it would change and hyperbole would be rife, and more so than probably today in lots of ways. Yes, definitely. You suddenly got throughout the country a competition. And this was one that the newspapers reported on.

Yeah. It became a game almost. One that all men could join in. As long as you were white and rich. Yeah. Although to be fair, voting rights had really been expanded. So most white men could now vote. Oh, brilliant.

So in an age where people would turn up to the nearest village if anything unusual was going on, it was very easy to get people to turn up for parties and rallies or just generally anything unusual. For example, giant balls were being rolled through villages with political slogans on. These were made of tin or paper and just said things like Tippecanoe

and Tyler too on them. And you'd just roll this giant ball through the village and everyone would see it and talk about the campaign. Did you see those massive balls? I did. Hence the saying to get the ball rolling. Oh! Yeah. Really? Yeah, again there was some debate on

this but it's an accepted theory that that saying comes from this election. So you can put that with OK, which we had last time. That's amazing. Yeah, this election has it all. So yeah, songs were being sung, parties thrown, hard cider being passed around in honour of Harrison. After all, he was a hard cider drinker, so everyone drank lots of cider. In several places, parades were being held featuring

numerous giant balls going down the road and also massive floats with log cabins on them that'd be great slogan though vote for the man with the balls yes he's got balls massive ones in an attempt to get a nickname for har, Old Buckeye was put forward. It didn't really catch on. No. But Tippecanoe did. And it stuck. So the importance of that small skirmish was suddenly heightened in conversation.

Hadn't Harrison personally fought Tecumseh at Tippecanoe and won? Well, no, as we saw. Tecumseh wasn't there. But why let facts get in the way of a good story? Well, yeah. Yeah. The world of excitement reached even the more formal Whig politicians, and suddenly everyone in the Whig party was looking into their family tree,

bizarrely looking for someone who lived or had lived in a log cabin. It was suddenly, look for your poor relatives time. Wow. Yeah. Fashionable. A shabby chic. Yeah. He's bringing that to the US. Yeah, I've got a third cousin once removed in a log cabin, so I know what it's like to be the common man. I can totes relate. As you can imagine, few on the Whig side stopped to wonder about the fact that a son of a Virginian aristocrat was being painted as someone who had worked his way up from nothing. Whereas his opponent, Van Buren,

had literally been born in a hamlet and helped run a tavern and worked his way up from nothing. And yet he was very successfully being painted as the elite. Something that must have really wound Van Buren all. But the campaign didn't stop there. The Whigs published

pamphlets such as The Log Cabin Anecdotes. This was 12 woodcuts so pictures round the border and then descriptions of the pictures. And these were all depictions of Harrison doing something really, really, really, really

good. What a great guy. Look at that drinking cider. They're staring at his log fire. The only original bit of the cabin left. You're not too far off there. I mean, this was essentially an instruction manual of sorts to teach Whig supporters what to say to democratic opponents. Yeah, so read this. And then when someone talks about Harrison,

you can say, wow, he's done this. I've got 12 anecdotes to tell you. Yeah. That's amazing. I'll give you some of the titles. One of them was Harrison's Humility in War. Another one was Harrison's Address to Bolivia. So that letter.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He did have some good things in it, to be fair. It wasn't all a diplomatic disaster. Yeah. One was called Harrison's Treatment of an Old Soldier and Harrison Giving Away His Only Blanket. Oh, my goodness. Yes.

My personal favourite, though, Harrison Preferring Another Man's Son to His Own. That's not a good thing. This is anti-nepotism. Yeah. Yeah, that's what this is. Not just him hating his son. It won't go to him by beating his own child with thoughts with an orphan kid next to him.

It could be worse. Walking past with his own baby son, seeing a mother with another baby, looking over, that's your swap. No, I don't think it was quite that. No. Here's one that didn't age too well over time. Harrison saving the life of a Negro.

Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't sound great, that one. But you can see what they're aiming for. Racism. Yeah, he's not racist great, that one. But you can see what they're aiming for. Racism. Yeah, he's not racist. He treats all people fairly. Oh, God. You will not be surprised that some of this boisterous campaigning turned nasty.

Yeah. A lot of fights were reported between Democrat and Whig supporters. So much so that some started talking of a civil war breaking out. Politics had turned nasty in some regions. Never happened, though. Yeah, it's also unfamiliar, this story of back in the day, isn't it? Anyway, Harrison's not letting any of this stop him. And perhaps proving that at his age he could keep up with anyone,

he often gave speeches that ran into the second or even third hour, mainly talking about war stories. Oh, dear. Yeah. Quite often going off on tangents. Just riffing, basically, and seeing what worked with the crowd. Good to see that anymore. He would often change his speeches, depending on who he was talking to.

He was very anti-slavery up north, but a huge supporter of states' rights to decide on slavery when talking to Southerners. Of course, yeah. Yeah. Again, same book here that I read, said he could get away with this because of the lack of modern reporting technology. Yeah. Couldn't be done nowadays.

Oh, no. Said the book. Yeah, historians in future are really going to have a hard time explaining now, aren't they? You just think people are stupid. But this is it. It's not stupidity. It's the same

then as it is now. The fact is, people didn't like who was in charge. Back then, people didn't care if the stories about Harrison were true or not. They didn't care if they really looked into it, that technically he wasn't actually in a log cabin whatsoever. The fact is, they didn't like Van Buren, so he had to go. And Harrison won in a landslide. Oh, wow. 79.6% of the electoral college. That's massive. Yeah, a result, however, that did not reflect the popular vote.

He got 53% of Van Buren's 46. So still a comfortable win, but nowhere near as high as the Electoral College win. Yeah, okay, interesting. Anyway, Sir Harrison is elected president. The 9th. He arrived in Washington

and paid a visit to some of the leading politicians at the time. This is before his inauguration. He was just getting to know the place. He stopped in on Calhoun. Oh, hey, Calhoun. You seem nice. Calhoun looked up and had a quick chat,

and then remarked afterwards that Harrison did not look strong enough for the job ahead. Brutal. He said, just staring. Saying it to his face. Yes. In the third person. He doesn't look strong enough. Howson foolishly had not sacrificed a bunny in Calhoun's presence.

And everyone knows that's what you do to get Calhoun's trust. And larger preferably, bunny at the least. Yeah. So then Howson spent his time before his inauguration to sort out his cabinet. He was going to work with him. The biggest shock here is that he did not give Clay anything. Really? Yeah. See, it turned out

when Harrison was campaigning and giving his speeches and saying things like how awful it is that Jackson gave out jobs in return for political support, it turned out that Harrison actually meant it when he said he wasn't going to do that. Oh, oh. Yeah.

That's Clay's reaction. Oh, you meant it. Oh, I just thought it was one of those election truths. But it's an actual truth. Right. Yeah, he was furious and confronted Harrison, who apparently said, although some people debate this, I quote here,

you forget I am president, which is a great thing to say. Yeah. Anyway, on the 4th of March, 1841, Harrison rode to the Capitol building on a very cold, windy, drizzly day. Due to election fever, though, the crowd to see him was huge. It's impossible to tell because no one's counting,

but some suggest this is the biggest crowd so far to see someone become the president. So, big crowd. Harrison started off his speech, a speech that has gone down in history as the longest inauguration speech in history. Oh, wow. Oh, yes. Yeah. Nearly two hours, Harrison stood there, hat in hand, in the rain, speaking.

I'm thinking about what most recent ones have been like 45 minutes to an hour. Yeah, they're usually over an hour. He lasts almost two hours. This is in an age where no one can hear what he's saying. So everyone's just standing in the rain watching him mouth words. Yeah. I bet they're better Chinese whispers. Like, you know, you start at the front,

they try and pass it back what was being said, and then... He's going to put an elephant in a bamboo shoot? What's that even mean? What? Why does a mouse need hair clippers? Yeah, well, the speech had actually been longer than two hours. It had been cut quite drastically, apparently. It was full of references to obscure Romans. The man who edited his speech announced afterwards, I quote here,

I killed 17 Roman proconsuls whilst editing the speech oh excellent anyway eventually the speech is over to i imagine a smaller crowd at the end started with 80 million ended with three yeah a freezing cold and shivering 67 year-old Harrison left the podium. 67, wow. Oh, yeah. And got to work. Sniffling a little bit. Yeah. He was determined to get rid of this spoil system that had plagued the Democrats. He made it very clear that in his government, if you worked for the government in like a civil service position,

it was no longer required that you support the government. You were allowed to disagree. You worked for the government, but you were allowed to disagree with the party who was in charge. That's very progressive. Very progressive. Yeah. Very good. So he sent a memo and said that he would not be firing men who'd shown support for opposition. People would keep their jobs or gain new jobs, cough, cough, cough, on merit. He then had a meeting with his Treasury Secretary to make sure there were, cough, cough, cough, cough, enough cough, cough, splutter, splutter, money to cough, choke, cough, cough, cough, cough. On March the 26th, a doctor was called. No.

Harrison was reported as mildly ill, but not dangerously slow on april the 4th he died 31 days into his presidency oh my god he could do nothing could he that is pathetic that's actually not surprising i knocked my glasses off in disgust that's not surprising. I knocked my glasses off in disgust. That's not surprising at all, really. But, oh my God. Poor Harrison. What? Longest speech, shortest presidency. I think his speech was probably longer than his presidency.

He's probably spent longer putting it together than on his presidency. He probably did. Yeah, a month. He lasts a month. How, 31 days? 31 days. Oh. That's why everyone's been laughing.

Yeah. That is pathetic. Really is, isn't it? I've had a sore throat longer than he lasted as president. Yes. I've eaten yoghurts that have been longer past their eat-by date. Is that when you got the sore throat? Weirdly, yes.

Right, shall we rate them? Really? Let's try. I didn't get to end the page. That's just... Okay, I must admit, I got to this point in my notes. And I started making a couple of bits of why we could give him points for statesmanship and then i thought you know what i'm gonna get in contact with jerry landry who produced that

40-odd episode series on harrison a whole series on harrison yeah i also know that harrison is his favorite lesser-known president so i favorite yeah yeah i guess by fair is me most interesting yeah yeah because that two different things i would say yeah so yeah i contacted jerry and said Favourite? Yeah, yeah. I guess by favourite I mean most interesting. Yeah, yeah. Because they're two different things, I would say. So yeah, I contacted Gerry and said, look, why should we give him points? I'm struggling here. So he made a few good points that we should consider.

Okay. While in Congress, he became the go-to guy looking out for veterans, which I mentioned. And that is a nice thing, isn't it? Yes. Yeah. And the families and the thought about... Yeah, no one worked harder to secure those pensions for the widows and the orphans. That's nice. His trip to Colombia may not go down in history as one of the most successful diplomatic missions, but it would seem that he genuinely wanted to see Colombia achieve the democratic success of

the United States. You could see that letter to Bolivia as a genuine attempt to help. Just not a very good one. He's obviously well out of his depth, though. Possibly. History's full of people with good intentions. Yes, that's true. That get crushed.

Okay, well, another point. The election of 1840, and to some extent 1836, was definitely a turning point, as we've seen in US politics. Now, although this is obviously not solely due to Harrison, it should be noted that it was in support of Harrison that

we see the first published female writer of a political pamphlet. Really? Yeah. The Whigs at this time, again supporting Harrison, actively looked to women to help campaign. So we're actually seeing women start to get involved in politics. And this is a movement moving behind Harrison, so maybe you should get some credit for that.

But Van Buren did that as well, did a very similar thing. He caused messages to be spread out and use women to spread the word. That's very different. Van Buren used the existing gossip culture and power that whites have over their husbands to use back channels in the political elite. Whereas the Whigs were asking women to go out and spread the message to the people and actually campaign. Why?

Why did they choose women? Because I doubt it would have been because it's progressive and women are human too. Oh, no, no. the message to the people and actually campaign. Why? Why do they choose women? Because I doubt it would have been because it's progressive and women are human too. Oh, no, no, no. It was just... Really? Get out there, spread the word. Yeah. This isn't a cynical...

I don't know. I'm doubtful. Don't get me wrong. There were many people who were disgusted by this. I have a quote here from a Democratic politician at the time. I'm sorry to say I have seen ladies joining in and wearing ribbons across their breasts. I'm guessing they were wearing more than just ribbons

across their breasts, because that might explain why he felt the need to go and write it down. Yeah. This is Richard Johnson, who went on to criticise ministers for letting women, and I quote here, carry on their abominations. And that was widely an accepted view at the time. But yeah, no, we're starting to see some movement. I can see it's just kind of desperation to get everyone out there there rather than a this is gonna be great for women empowerment i i think there'll be a

mixture of all sorts however i don't think we can really give harrison much for this well yeah you'd have nothing to do with it his job wasn't to but he didn't shut it down he didn't say i won't have women campaigning on my behalf no but it's also equally possible he didn't understand it or realize it was happening there is also that yeah um okay maybe this is worthy of a point here he really did seem to want to get rid of the spoil system yes yeah yeah and he proved it yeah it does look like things were about to change in the culture of government one of the few things he did as president was circulate that memo and say no to clay yeah so quite possibly there so that's good can we give him anything i'm going to give him a few points for this anti-spoil system yeah i think that's important

yeah although it never ever takes effect even now yeah it doesn't no it doesn't but he tried to to go against it it's all full of cliques or clicks or how we pronounce it it's that's how politics is it's all yeah tribal yeah and we'll see how bad that gets in future episodes but yeah no that's quite good i think the stuff he did for the the veterans as well that. However, we've not covered bad. Oh. Yeah, because his treatment of the Native Americans was terrible. And that wasn't his personal treatment, so it's not in Disgracegate. This is his work on behalf of the state.

So this counts in this round. Yeah. Yeah, the treaties just lied and cheated. And it doesn't really matter that Harrison seemed to think the treaties were legal and should be abided to. They weren't by the state, and Harrison was pushing them forward. So I think he's got to lose points for that. I think so. I'm only going to give him one.

I agree. Yeah. I'm giving him one as well. I'm going to match that, I think. So that is two. Disgrace, Giggits! I'm getting one as well. I'm going to match that, I think.

Size 2. Disgrace get it! Okay, so when you take away his pushing through of those treaties, because that's in statesmanship, and just focus on the man personally, he seems like quite a nice man. Yeah? Yeah, he and his wife seemed very much in love.

They had a large family that he did everything he could to support, albeit not brilliantly. Yeah. He disliked the racism in his region, even if he didn't recognise how much he was actually contributing to it. But on a personal level, he seems to hate the racism that was going on. He appeared to have morals. Yeah, he seemed to have morals. He seems just like a nice guy. There's just no scandal.

Unless you count the fact that he let the people believe in a version of him that was a lie. But he never, as far as we can how, outright lied to the electorate. He just would be vague on what type of house he lived in. And there were logs, dammit. There were logs in there there were logs yeah they're somewhere in that fire burning away lots of logs i don't think we can give anything here no i agree okay okay you might be able to pick up something here i always feel like if it's if it's his film or series or whatever it's very it's gonna be a very sad film lots of something positive then

full of potential but never realized lots of dark moody shots of him sitting in his bedroom at his desk just staring out the window for five minutes like yeah it's punctured and anything that happens was punctuated by that yeah Yeah. Very bleak moment. Just the occasional sigh. Which makes it far more depressing than the crying. Yes. Just a resigned, yeah. Knock on the door. The iron findry,

it's gone under. Crossing out another one on his list. Yes. Every now and again there's a little tick and then most of it just crosses and a little sad face. Occasionally his parrot tries to cheer him up. Then it dies.

But then it dies. Oh. Yeah. Not in a nice way as well. No. It flew into the fireplace. Oh, right. In his log cabin.

So, okay, quick rundown here then. When he was young he ran away from the traitor Benedict Arnold, remember? Yes. So you've got a good running away in the Revolutionary War. Nice way to start off your series. I like the way you're being consistent with the traitor. Oh, that's how he's known. The traitor Benedict Arnold.

Or as we call him, the British hero. Yes. Yeah. Then there was medical school, which was not fun. Yeah. Then his father died. Obviously, you've got Brian Blessed in this as well, which is good for the ratings. Yeah, that's good.

Yeah. Anyway, he dies. Then he's in the army. He sees St. Clair's defeated troops come back and raid the alcohol and everything's falling apart. And he's sent out to go and get the equipment in the snow. So that might be a nice... He succeeds there. Yeah, exactly. That's resilience. And then he meets the equipment and the snow. So that might be a nice. He succeeds there. Yeah, exactly.

Resilience. And then he meets his wife and they have a secret wedding. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Nice. I like that. Then it kind of goes downhill a bit. I mean, he's governor for 12 years.

You might want to do that in a montage. Get that over with quite quickly. A very fast one minute montage. Yeah. Then the war with Tecumseh and the prophets. Yeah. Prophetstown. Yep.umseh and the prophets. Yeah. Prophet's Town. Yep.

Battle of Tippecanoe. War of 1812. So you could have a whole arc of Tecumseh and how he dies. Then you could have an episode of him going to Colombia and then coming back home again with his pet parrot. I think it could be two episodes. Two by episode, I think. You could probably do an episode of him trying to get to Colombia. Yes.

Yeah. Then you could have the start of the next episode, him doing the vegetable gardens. Yeah. And occasionally talking to people about how it's not looking great down here. He'll take the hat off, wipe his brow, put the hat back on again with his hoe in his hand. Yeah. He goes parrot shopping. Yes. That could be a scene.

And then he gets a little beady black eye and their eyes match and his eyes sparkle. Parrot eye looks the same. Yes. That could be a scene. And then he gets a little beady black eye and their eyes match and his eyes sparkle. Parrot eye looks the same. Yeah. First time you see Harrison truly happy. Yeah. The parrot eye is just cold and dead as parrots are. Yeah. And then the parrot tells him things about the state

of politics in Colombia and Harrison gets a bit worried. Spanish accent. Yeah. No amigo. What? state of politics in colombia and how it gets a bit worse spanish accent yeah no amigo bad things happen amigo it's a good spanish parrot i'm impressed thank you thank you um been practicing yeah and then he finds out that he's being replaced he's a bit angry so he writes his letter yes yeah um parrot and then he goes home and then you just do the fun campaign stuff yeah and then he dies

actually the campaigning could be a good arc of episodes I think yeah that could be the convention against clay you could definitely get something good out of that the drama of the dropping the you know what it's really not too bad. You've got the opening war,

which is always good. You've got a war when he's older. And then you've got some politics, like backroom politics going on. A trip abroad, that's always nice. It's not too bad. I mean, it's not amazing. See, what we'd have though is every episode would be like an hour long.

Or an hour and a half long, make it interesting. Because there's a lot to pack in, I think. Okay. I think you could do it. I think I know where you're going with this. Yeah. Last episode, five minutes. Yes.

Just suddenly cuts off. Yeah. So people don't suspect, though, like, five minutes and then an hour and 25 minutes of just focusing on his coffin. Oh. Yeah. People walking past. Yeah. Paying their respects.

Coffee. In light. Just like real time. And Clay hitting it a few times. Spitting on it, walking off. There's a parrot sitting there. Squaw. Oh, it lands on halfway.

Yeah. Halfway through, you get the parrot. The parrot lies down and dies on the coffin. Oh. Loyal parrot. And that's how it ends. Just fades in on the dead parrot. The parrot lies down and dies on the carfell. Oh. Loyal parrot. And that's how it ends. Just fades in on the dead parrot. Feathers.

Because he was far more interesting then. So, yeah. It's not brilliant, but you know what? I think he can actually pick up some points here. I think so. I'm prepared to give him a six, because I think that's some good stuff in there. Yeah. I'm going to go for six as well.

Let's do it. So that is 12 for living a in there. Yeah, I'm going to go for six as well. Let's do it. So that is 12 for living a relatively interesting... No, you know what? I'm going to go with seven. Really? Knock me up to 13. Oh, I've got to use my rubber. I think that was an actually jam-packed, interesting life.

And the fact he dies young is actually dramatic. Well, he doesn't die young, but dies in the presidency. He's the first person to die in the presidency. So yeah seven it's true 13 13 not bad why don't have some okay you ready for what he looks like or can i guess gonna bit sad looking pretty much there you go oh look at his eye that's that's a that's a sloping forehead isn't it yeah very deep set eyes deep set eyes thick nose thinning on top uh moody background in a red chair was that painted during his presidency or was it post-presidency that's his official portrait so i'm guessing post-presidency it would have to be that was

all paintings it would take months back then yeah i didn't think to check that so um yeah let us know when was his portrait done. Probably post, like JFK's was done after he died. Yeah. No, no, yeah, they're always done afterwards, aren't they? Or near the end of. Nowadays they are. They're done afterwards, but that's not always been the case.

I mean, back then he'd be like, is this what it looked like? I can't remember, probably. Maybe they just, like, propped the corpse up and did it. Actually, he's quite pale. He is quite pale. There's no parrot, though, which makes me sad. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not inspiring. I don't look at him and think he is a born leader. He looks like a vice president, which he didn't actually achieve. Damning. I think that's my new go-to insult. Oh, he's Vice President Matera. Five. It's not awful.

It's not great. Oh, four to three. I wish I could do 3.5. I'm going to go with three. That is a total of one for Canvasability. Bonus! And, of course, bonus points. Yay!

He is the first person to not get a single point for terms because he did not complete a term so zero for terms yes he died but no one killed him so zero for assassination he's not doing well on this round either but his electoral win

was a landslide. So he gets two for that. That is a total of 18. Oh, I think this is a bit of a shock. He's not bottom. No. He's not even second bottom. Harrison defeats his two Democratic opponents,

Andrew Jackson and Van Buren. Wow. Jackson's disgrace gate has just destroyed his score. So he's still at the bottom. But Van Buren only got 17.25. That's because he subtracted four because of his slavery thing. But do you know what, though? He didn't outright disagree with slavery.

Oh, no, that's a good point. We didn't talk about that. He did own slaves. Yeah, you know what? Let's go back to Disgracegate. Right, quick. Backwards. Off we go.

Okay. Disgracegate. Right, yeah. I think we need to reconsider this. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I think we need to give him the same score as Van Buren's because slaves were owned and he quite clearly was happy with that

and that personally is quite bad. Yeah, he was also pushing for slaves to instantly become indentured servants for a lifetime you could argue that that should be um statesmanship but no no you're right i think that needs a couple yeah i'm gonna go minus two are you going oh minus two as well that's minus four right quick back to total score room so he now has a total score of... 14. 14, which still means he beats Jackson, but Van Buren has now beaten Harrison.

Yes. Yes. Okay, so 14, but we've got one more thing we need to... No, we don't, do we? You never know, he could be an American. Is he an American? No. He's not.

Should we go to the room so we can discuss it though? Should we just say no then and move on? Is there any reason why we should give it to him? No. I mean the the election that was around him was revolutionary in its own way but I mean that that society moving forward it's not Harrison. No, that was... He benefited from that situation. And I'm more inclined to say Van Buren was responsible for that because he saw how to politically motivate

people, which then the Whigs copied and built upon. It's not really Harrison. It's evolution of Van Buren. Yeah, so... No, I'm sorry, Harrison. It's hardly surprising, but you're not getting an American. But, you're not last, and you're beating the person... How is he not last? 31 days!

Why, that's just the way we do our scores. And he probably killed himself with a long speech. It's his own fault he died. It was literally political suicide. Yes, it was. But there you go. Four staff marches it hurts your score yeah yeah right okay then that's this week next week can you work out who it's going to be his vice president tipper canoe and tyler two two yeah so that that meeting it was a kind of Kind of oh yeah

We need to choose A vice president as well No one really thought Too much about it Suddenly becomes Quite important Yeah Because we have

A constitutional crisis Because they had Nothing to do So what do we do now And that's what We'll find out next time It's either New election

Which would be annoying Or does it fall To the vice president Because he's next That's all interesting Or go back to Britain It's always an option America You can always come back Maybe that could be or does it fall to the vice president because he's next in? That's all interesting. Or go back to Britain. It's always an option, America.

You can always come back. Maybe that could be on the current voting slips. Join UK. It's been there since the 1700s. Yeah, it's just at the bottom. If you turn your slip over, actually, they don't use slips in America. They use electronic stuff, don't they? Or do they fill in a slip and put it into the machine? And it cuts it that way.

From what I've seen, you can tap on a thing. Is that in every place? It seems so open to abuse, though. Oh, if I was going to hack something, that would be the first thing I would do. It's really weird. See, in the UK, there's even debate on whether we should use pencils or not because you can rub them out and perhaps we should use pens or paper. Right.

I'll say thank you very much for listening. We need to stop just chatting. So, thanks for listening. All that needs to be said is... Goodbye. Goodbye. Right, we really must get this sorted The election is coming up soon We're being tranced out there

The wigs, they've got everything Have you seen? Look at the merchandise It's amazing Look at it I guess I see you've brought some along with you What's this shampoo? Shampoo with Harrison's name on. Whiskey with Harrison's name on. Whiskey. Look at this one.

It's a kite. A kite? With his face on. This is a miniature log cabin look. Look, a little Harrison doll sitting in there. Your poor believer on his back. He drinks the hard cider. This is ridiculous. How on earth did they come up with this? But we have ideas. Yes, Gerald, we have ideas. They're not very good, are they? Look at this. Bubbles. Bubbles. Bubble machine.

You dip it in the liquid. Yes. You lift it out. And you blow. Blow. That's wonderful, Gerald, but how's that helping? Look, one's on your nose. How's it helping, Gerald? We can inscribe each bubble with Van Buren's name.

Can I ask you to invite Gerald again? I'm about this close to giving up, lads. I just don't see a way forward. What? I've got it. What? He's got big balls. Where are you going with this, Gerald?

Well... Gerald, no. I also... No. Have... No, Gerald, no, no. Big balls. You were warned about this last week.

You're just not welcome here if you're going to do that. Put it away, man. That's Big Ben. I think we've gone too far. I think you'll find it's the Elizabeth Tower. It wasn't built by them, was it? It was built in the 1800s. Yeah, no, that's a good point.

1840s, 1860s, something like that. You have no idea, do you? It's mid-1800s. Okay. Okay have no idea do you it's mid 1800s okay okay you're googling it I'm going to pick a year I'm going to say 1847

what are you saying 1847 I'm going to say I'm checking out I'm going to say 1860 okay I think that's too late actually

18 no 1830 1830 yeah so you've gone before my yes okay you're saying 1830 I'm saying 1847

so Palace of Westminster was destroyed in 1834 right and was rebuilt in 1844 yeah

and the massive bell was made um Big Ben first rang out of Westminster on the 31st of May 1859

you should have stuck with your 1860. I should have done, yeah. You really should have done. I really should have done. So I still won. You always win, it's fine. I'm not bitter.

No. It's not about winning. No. No, get on.