Artist Friendly with Joel Madden - Eyedress
Episode Date: February 22, 2023From humble beginnings in the Phillipines, to Arizona, to LA, Eyedress has managed to stay clique agnostic, moving through the world authentically with his laidback skater vibe. He and Joel talk about... the challenges of trying to get his music career off the ground as a teenager in Manila, how it took 10 years to “go viral” and surpassing his school age ambitions to work in Starbucks. The conversation comes at an opportune time, as Eyedress dropped the lo-fi punk mixtape COMMITTING CRIMES earlier this year and recently announced his signing to RCA records, along with the release of the Eddie Huang-directed music video for his latest single “Flowers & Chocolate.” ------- Listen to their Artist Friendly conversation on Spotify. ------- Follow Artist Friendly! IG: @artist.friendly TikTok: @artist.friendly YouTube: youtube.com/@artist.friendly ------- Host: Joel Madden, @joelmadden Executive Producers: Joel Madden, Benji Madden, Jillian King Producers: Josh Madden, Joey Simmrin, Janice Leary Visual Producer/Editor: Ryan Schaefer Audio Producer/Composer: Nick Gray Music/Theme Composer: Nick Gray Cover Art/Design: Ryan Schaefer Additional Contributors: Anna Zanes, Neville Hardman Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Hey, what's up everybody?
It's Joel Madden, and this is artist-friendly from Alternative Press.
On today's episode, I'm talking to Idris.
What's up, Idris?
What's up, man?
I'm really happy you're here.
We've never actually really gotten to, like, sit down for a long period of time and, like, talk.
Here we are.
But you're in with, like, the brothers and...
Josh and Benz.
Yeah, we'll run into each other every now and then.
Yeah.
But I'm a huge fan of your music, obviously.
Likewise.
And I don't know where to start if we start present or we go past because I don't know your whole story,
but I know enough of it to know like it's probably one of the more interesting stories in music.
It's, it is what it is, man.
Yeah, it's, I don't know.
Where should we start?
I think, so one of the things I love about you is your family.
You're like this amazing dad.
Love him.
Amazing partner.
You put your family first.
And it's almost like, it's like this part of you that like you're one of the only artists that I feel like I see that
shares their real life with people.
Yeah.
But it's natural.
It happened naturally.
I mean, the timing of it was literally around the time, like, my music was getting discovered.
And at the time, we had a son.
And, you know, I wasn't about to, like, hide it or anything.
And I was so proud of it, so I was like, this is a good thing.
So it just became natural that I was just,
sharing what I always you know it's what I love yeah so I don't know man that's that's how the family
is just you know is that's why they're in the picture they're in all the videos and yeah yeah you can feel
it you feel like the thing I see sometimes even me like you know like we don't ever plan like
you don't have this master plan I feel like anyways for me I didn't have a master plan of how I was
going to have a family it just happened you fall in love someone and then all the sudden oh you got
kid and then
save my life and it does save your life yeah like
I mean I wasn't like a perfect person before
I met Lvia so I think um meeting her
like at that time was just like perfect timing like I you know I could have had all
this all these bad things happened to me but she was like I just stay home with me
and you know let's have a family let's not like be out there keeps you out of the streets
Yeah, you know, you don't get caught up in no drama.
So I thought that was nice because when, you know, when I first moved here, I was like, oh, it's crazy out here.
So I was just like, you know, I don't really know if that's what I want.
Like, my life was already crazy.
So when I got here, I was like, I want quiet.
Like, not the party LA life, but.
But is it possible that like, that like part of like, it's interesting, right?
because like you're you're an incredible artist you make really great art a lot of people connect
with it it also feels different from everything else it feels like again like i'm always looking
for artists that feel like they don't they're not trapped in the in the box they're not trapped
in the way that everyone else has to do everything they're not like they're not subscribed to
anyone else they're just doing their thing you're just making it's if you were a painter you would
be in your studio painting and not looking outwards at what everyone else is painting.
That's how I feel about your music.
I feel like you make your music.
You don't ask for permission.
You're not checking in with the mass of people going, hey, what do you want to hear?
Or you're not following any trends.
Yep.
And I'm trendy.
But, you know, I'm like, I just make what I like.
And I think I just pay homage to all those.
things that I'm obsessed with and every day or week, you know, maybe not every week or every
day, but, you know, every now and then I'll find some new stuff to get obsessed with and then
I just kind of soak it up and I need to hear everything that I'm into at the time and I need
to watch everything.
But yeah, you know, and then I'm a Gemini, so it gets old.
but it doesn't mean that, you know, like all my albums, like, I don't, I don't know.
I don't listen to them anymore.
Right.
You're waiting for your next one.
Yeah, I'm just like, making your new shit.
I'm always looking at the next thing, and that's what's exciting about living, really.
It's just like, what haven't I covered?
Yeah.
And, yeah.
It's like today and I yesterday.
Yeah, I'm just trying everything, you know, like trying to soak everything up like a sponge,
living in America is like a privilege for me so I'm you know I don't want to waste any time so you
came to L.A. from Arizona from the Philippines yeah so you were in the Philippines yeah before that I was in
I was back here I was in San Clemente oh wow and then before that I was in Arizona so how did you
end up back in the Philippines because I know you were born in the Philippines yeah well my dad yeah I was
born in the Philippines. He got drafted by like 20th century Fox and I was like five or six.
So that, you know, got us to move to Arizona. Okay. And then in Arizona, it was just rough.
What was that like? What was it like being, how old were you when you moved to Arizona?
It was like five or six. And what was that like? I had to learn English within a year and I just had to
get on my feet, you know, because it wasn't like, I didn't live in a safe neighborhood. So, you know, you'd
walk down the wrong street and then you get chased by a bunch of kids and they jump you and then
yeah I just I had to grow up like kind of I don't know I just had to be aware of my surrounding
pretty fast there was a lot of like gangs around and I was just like this Filipino kid like just like
I was happy to be out of the slums and be in America you know but I didn't realize America was also
this whole dangerous place and but you know I got used to it and I was just like
I'm not trying to be gangster or anything, so I just like skated and got into music.
And every time I'd experience something bad, you know, I'd be an instant regret.
But like, you know, those moments changed me and it made me like want to be into art and music.
Like I was in a drawing when I was a kid. I used to tag.
I didn't want to, you know, like join like their graffiti gangs.
I just wanted to like tag on ice cream trucks and walls.
I didn't want to do anything like super bad because my mom would just be like,
you can't get deported and, you know, shit like that.
And I'd just be like, all right.
That's crazy to think about like that as a fear.
Like to hang over your head as a kid who's like where most kids don't have to worry about
that.
So they are getting in trouble because that's what kids do.
We like, we go out and we find other kids and we end up getting in trouble.
And in some neighborhoods, it's, it's.
gangs or graffiti gang or sometimes it's just kids being stupid that are every kid has a
their little gang of some kind right in like every neighborhood whatever and so to come here
as a young kid not speaking the language then you get thrown into probably the school system
yeah i went to public school so yeah everyone was just you know everyone is a character you'd see
how some kids are raised by cholo's and you see just some like
I went to school with, and when I lived in Orange County, there were like neo-Nazis in my school.
And it was great.
I feel like I've seen every type of click and I've just been like, I don't know, I should be neutral.
Like, I don't really have problems with nobody.
It feels like you're, it's interesting because I see you move and I know you, you're cool with everybody.
Like you have friends and you, but it feels like you and your family are moving through the world together.
It's like, it looks like this little trio of like, it's amazing.
By the way, as a, as someone who always wanted a family, I always, like, find myself
kind of, like, gravitating towards family.
So when I see families that are functioning, that functional in their own way, like,
we all, the lie is is that every family should be like this, right?
Yeah, it's like, we're all our own family.
But we're these, like, living organisms that grow.
and like every single family's different and like you're like the it's so cool to me you're like the
you're like this example of like when I also think of like like and let me use words that
that for lack of of a better but like when I think of success I don't think of success as like
this or that or that I think of success as like happiness and functionality
And I just saw like all like I think a lot of the rock stars I I looked up to were family men and like I did like all those like crazy junky dudes too but I was also like I came to a point in my life where I was like I don't think I'm cut out for being up till 12 the next day because I was going hard all night like yeah I was just like I want to have nice things like I want to work and really hard.
and not burn my whole brain away.
Yeah, because I went through that phase too, and I was like, yeah, I should just be like a family, man.
It's like, this is what I want, you know.
It's like I feel safe this way.
So, yeah, it just happened, you know, fell naturally.
But it's funny because if you go out in the world, right, you're not met with, like, I feel like anyways,
like people wouldn't look at maybe either of us and go like that's a fucking that's a good dad
yeah that's a family man you know what i mean like look at that family man they would maybe see us
and like the funniest thing happened to me the other day i won't get into it but
something happened in my neighborhood and it was a guy with tattoos or something and everyone
like called and was like we don't want to say anything but there was a thing with the guy of tattoos
and I'm like it wasn't me I wasn't here but the fact that we have to have that conversation
with people because you have tats because you look a certain way you know what I mean or you
give off a certain vibe or you they have an idea that maybe you behave a certain way and like
we've been crazy right when we were young we had our moment
But no more than any college kid or any other person out in their first few years of like adulthood.
I'm not trying to get locked up, you know.
Exactly.
God, you know, God forbid I ever get into anything.
But it's like I just, I think I'm just protective, you know.
Yeah.
I've seen a lot of stuff, been in a lot of violent situations where I was, you know,
I had to man up and be like some of these things you can walk away from.
you're not a coward you're just smart you're protecting your family yeah you're protecting your family
your name you're walking away for protection to so put them first you know i just yeah i feel like i give
off that vibe too like i have tattoos um don't smile but i'm happy and i have my family i just
i don't want to be that like i'm so happy guy either because no it's real like you're like i get
bummed all the time, like, and not because, you know, life's bad.
It's just, you know, things happen and I'm human.
It's like we're not perfect.
So I don't know.
Just try to, I think the family is the, like, a really solid foundation that should still be recognized with, like, especially, you know, if a lot of kids look up to me, I don't want them to view this whole family thing as, like, it has to be perfect.
It has to be like this Instagram, like, yeah, everything looks perfect.
It's like, it looks perfect because we're just showing you, like, when we're happy.
Exactly.
That's what I want people to know.
Family is happiness.
And, yes, there's, you know, episodes with family where it's not so happy, but it's like.
You work through them.
Yeah, like, I've never seen my parents give up.
Like, they've been married all their lives and they've had tough times.
They've argued, but they make up.
So I think that's what.
why like I don't want to share like when I'm going through something it's like it's no one's business
let me resolve it first you know like yeah it's no one I was saying that the other day too I was like
you know of course when I show people something on Instagram I'm going to show them the best
picture I took of it and if if I show them my family it's going to be us smiling I'm not going to
show them the moments where we're like bickering over something where we're like you know
because we all do we all they're good to acknowledge just
just so people don't think like, you guys are perfect.
But it's like, yeah, it's like, I don't need to share this with nobody.
It's like, this is just between me and the fam.
But like what you're actually modeling, in my opinion, is how I feel is like you have,
you have a real fan base, dude.
You have people out there who look at you as, you know, for me, you're this modern artist
who's making music on their own terms and having great.
success doing it, which is a rare thing. Most people have to buy into some kind of system usually
to like have that success and you're doing it on your own terms. You say what you think, you say
how you feel, you say when you think something's right, you say when you think something's wrong.
And you have people looking at you and your family and going, that's possible for me too.
Because you probably have kids out there who, again, like I always say the people that
reach for art, it tends to be their way of getting out of something.
making it better, making a better life, healing something, going through a traumatic cowhood and coping, right?
And like, so they look to your art to help them do that.
And then they start to maybe imagine that they could do it.
And they become a graphic designer or they become a music, a producer or they become an artist.
That's literally everything I am.
It's like you could do all of that, like graphic design, film, music.
And have a family.
And have a family.
still do what you want.
It's so dope to me though because, and I'm just saying as a fan, when I see you on
stage, when I see you in your videos, you have your own style, you have your own style, you
have a way of like, your lens on things is really unique to you.
And like, it's super, it's cool.
It makes you go like, damn, that's fucking cool, man.
How did he think to, like, it just feels like.
like you're just being you, but who you are is cool, right?
And I know you probably don't even feel that way.
You're just being you.
But at the end of the day, the people that watch, we watch music fans, we watch,
and it informs us how to dress, how to, how to like, that's where we get stuff from.
It's like we watch our favorite artists, you know?
And it's cool to me that you're doing this.
it feels naturally just following how you feel every step of the way, making the record you feel
like making and saying what you feel like saying and you have your family and you're just
it's honest and it's kind of not it's kind of refreshing when you live in a world full of
Instagram like where people are trying to present something that they think everyone wants
to see.
And I understand that too.
I'm not like hating on anyone for trying to succeed in the world any which way they do.
But like we all do get kind of like tired of seeing like what we're supposed to see.
And then we have someone like come along like you who's literally you came here from the Philippines.
Then you had to go back, right?
Yeah.
My dad just missed home and thought like we'd be okay like living out there.
How was that?
How old were you when you went back?
It was like 16 or 15 as like a culture shock.
Wow.
People out there would kind of laugh at me for having an American accent.
So I was like, bro, like, what do I got to do to fit in?
Like I'm, I was born here.
Right.
You go home.
There's just always ways like for people to like divide you from the equation.
So it was tough, man.
That was like, not going to lie.
That was the hardest part of my life, but getting out of there was always a goal.
Because right before I left, I was playing in bands here.
And I got a glimpse of it.
You know, I went to this smell.
I watched a show out chain reaction.
I was like, maybe one day, like, I could do this.
But, like, now that I'm in Manila, I have to figure out how to even get my music out.
So luckily, we had the internet.
And, you know, kids like Tyler were blowing up at the time.
And that was like what was inspiring me because I was like, well, I'm all the way over here.
Like, how do I get heard?
So I just would make videos and upload them on YouTube, send them to all the blogs I followed.
And some of them replied.
So from that, you know, I would just kind of build reputation with these people I don't really know and just, you know, share my music always and be nice to them and just be real and be like, how are you?
Yeah.
I just don't want them to like just put me on.
It's like I want to also be like, yo, like you're going to do all this for me.
You know, I'm here for you too.
So I kind of just always, you know, that's how I've gotten so far.
I think I've always just been cool with everybody and just.
You haven't forced anything.
You've been like, yo, if you fuck with it, let it up.
And it's like I just, yeah, I mean, I don't know.
just I don't want anything.
If someone wants to do something nice for me, then it's like, I'm eternally grateful
and I'd return the favor anytime.
So it's, you know, like in the music industry, I think that's what it's like when people
show you love.
You just like respect that and treat them the same way.
Like, I don't know.
It's been good, man.
Like living out here, there's a lot of musicians.
And, you know, a lot of them.
you know, are very prominent artists.
So it was good to move here and like people like yourself, like would help someone like
me is just still starting out, figuring this out.
And we're just as lucky though because we get to be around really cool, special, special.
You know, I always say special because like there's people that stand out.
And when I hear your story, it makes me make total sense.
I'm like, of course he.
has an interesting story because you're interesting it's interesting everything you do to me is
interesting i'm like how do you think of that like where did that come from i didn't even want life to be
this way man it's tough it's just like you know like i think it was around high school i didn't
even finish high school yeah so like felt like a super loser and then all my friends already went to
college and had jobs and I was like, what do I do? Like, I don't have money to go to college. I didn't
even finish high school. So I was like, my best friend Joyce was like, you should just take
music seriously since that's the only thing you're good at. He's just being real with me. He's like,
mean as fuck. He'll be like, you suck at everything. But when he said that about the music,
I was like, oh, well, okay. Like, I'm just going to not party with y'all every freaking weekend.
and then stay home and record.
And that's where it started really, like, getting focused.
Because, you know, I'd see these guys, like, getting paid.
And I was just like, how do I get, how do I have anything in my life?
So I was like, I have to create something, right?
I have to create music.
Like, what did my favorite bands do?
They made songs.
They made viz.
Yeah, so you build it, they come.
So I was like, how much do I got to build?
And how many years will this take?
It took 10 years.
to go viral or whatever.
Yeah.
I've been...
Wow, 10 years.
Yeah, I was in...
Amazing.
I got my first deal when I was 22.
Yeah.
And that didn't even happen.
You know, I just got signed.
They brought me on tour with a bigger band, and I would see how things went, and I'd just be like, well, I'm not ready.
But that...
You started learning.
That helps.
That was your college, you know?
Yeah.
You started getting your degree.
Because I didn't go to college, so I was, like, grateful that I got to me.
move to London and, you know, meet bigger artists and just hang out with them.
That's cool.
I didn't know that that was even a thing.
So you went to London?
Yeah, because in Manila, the industry there is really based around showbiz.
So it's like very, like, pretty boy, pretty girl, like they can dance.
Like, bro, I'm not going to dance.
You know, like, I'm here to play guitar, like, you know, like.
And so you went, okay, so you're in Manila.
You're like, I'm going to focus.
I'm going to start making music.
Making songs that I knew, like, would do good, like, overseas.
And I would just upload them online.
Well, and to be fair, you came from overseas.
Yeah.
So you were probably more at that age.
You were probably dug in here.
and then you're getting you're getting informed you're playing in those bands you're learning
how to how music works how to make music then you have to go to manila and it's a you're back in
you're back there after that's stage one basically was it 10 years you weren't since you moved you
moved back 10 years later and then i've been to manila it's a beautiful uh i mean it's it's a
great place that people are really nice but it's crazy there yeah the poverty is still it feels it definitely is
real yeah
Yeah.
Everyone's really nice.
And it's like the Philippines are a great place up to visit.
And there's, we got to go play shows and we had amazing shows there.
I mean, just amazing, like the music fans there.
There's a real culture there for music.
But it's a big ass city with a lot of people and it is real.
It's a real city.
And to think about like being a kid that's 15, like, it's taken out of what he knows for the last 10 or 11 years here.
Yeah.
Put there.
Yeah.
Then I just had to start over.
It was like, you know, I was already playing, like, backyard shows out here.
And it just felt like it was going to go somewhere.
And then, bam, my dad's like, let's move back.
And I was just like, all right, it might be cool.
Well, here we.
Yeah, I mean, what can you do at that age when your dad says you got to move somewhere?
Yeah, it wasn't about abandon them and be like, no.
But I'll bet when you go back to the Philippines to play.
When that day comes, and I don't know if you have yet, but like, you will one day.
You're going to go back there and play a show.
I guarantee you, like, there's a very special relationship with the music fans there that you'll have because I think that's where it started, man.
Yeah, I think they'll embrace you because of that.
It really did start there.
When I lived here, dude, like, I thought I was just going to graduate high school and work at Starbucks.
Yeah.
When I moved out there, I was like, I was like, maybe I'll get signed one day.
I was just imagining all this wild shit.
Like, why?
All the stuff that happened.
And my dad also, you know, would feed these ideas into my head.
I remember we'd go on these family trips and he'd be like, you know, son, maybe one day
you can sign and tour the world.
And I'd just be like, people do that?
Like, you know, like, that's real.
That's interesting, though, because, like, I always talk about manifesting and creative visualization
and how we imagine our future, and that's the future.
like some version of that future is actually what we end up having.
My dad definitely manifested it, man.
He would say the wildest shit.
Like, you're going to be like, you know, bigger than I could imagine.
And I would just be like, mm-hmm.
I mean, it's crazy, though, because something he saw.
And, you know, like, we always kind of dismiss our parents when they're, like,
complimenting us because, like, my kids do it when I'm like,
you're really good at that.
They are really good at what I'm saying,
but they are like,
dad,
whatever,
you always like,
you think I'm good at everything.
And I'm like,
not really,
actually.
I actually think you're good at that
when we get into these little arguments.
But I can see actually what they're good at.
And I also think,
like,
not bias either.
But also your dad did something at a high level,
right?
He worked for an entertainment company
and he understood like,
I think he had an,
an ability to understand like things at levels.
So when you get to a high level to a high level, you start to understand like when
someone's competent at something and when they're not.
And I think he probably identified in you like that there is this like I think this, like
they say like the X factor or the thing.
Like there is something special about artists when you notice like, man, that kid's different.
All these other ones that are trying, I don't see.
But then that kid stands out.
And he hasn't even sung yet.
It's like the first time I saw you, when you, you notice the dude who walks in the room
and really, who's that guy?
He's fucking cool as shit.
What's he doing?
He's an artist.
And you're like, of course he is.
And then you hear their music and you're like, fucking, of course he is.
Like, that's how it feels when you see like someone who's meant to be.
And like whether you're, I mean, your dad had to see it.
You could say it's just because he's my dad and he loves me.
And you're like, no, he probably didn't say that about.
Like when he was saying that, dude, I could barely, like, do guitar solos.
Exactly.
You know, I was like...
But he saw it.
I sucked that guitar.
It's just like...
But, yeah, I mean, he would be like, but, you know, these Nirvana songs are just like two chords.
And I'd just be like...
Yep.
He was right.
Same guy who all...
Yeah, I don't know.
It was weird.
Does he ever say I was right?
Um...
I think he could say that all he wants now.
Yeah.
He's super proud.
Like, ever since I signed a RCA.
He even made his profile pick the old RCA logo.
I was like, oh, my God, Dad.
That's great.
But that's great.
That's what Dad's supposed to do.
It was cute.
It's like, how I am with my kids.
I'll be, like, putting their Little League picture or something up.
They love it, man.
Yeah, to them, like.
We're always going to be the dads.
We're always going to be corny to our kids.
It doesn't matter.
I just never thought it happened.
But that's because I was born in the suns.
Like, I didn't think, like,
there was possibilities for...
It doesn't feel very possible there.
Yeah, I mean, you know, when I was...
Like I told you, when I was in high school,
I thought I'd just, like, work at Starbucks and play in these underground bands.
I don't know.
Like, I didn't think anything, like, all the stuff I've done lately.
Like, that's...
It's legendary.
It is.
Do you feel like...
I feel like you're just getting started?
Exactly.
Yeah, no, like, that's what I say to a lot of people now.
Like, the world's just getting to know you?
Like, congrats, you did it.
I'm like, dude, I still have 10 more years of, like, you know, being fit and able to do this.
Like, I'm just starting.
Like, I still want to make this, like, a living, you know?
Yeah.
And, yeah, I don't think, like, I've even reached, like, my peak.
I just got to keep working, really.
It's freaking hard.
Yeah.
Do you make music all the time?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like battling with myself every day, doubt, fear, anxiety.
Of course.
Even like before I play shows, I'll be like, no, it's going to show.
Yeah.
Then, like, when everyone's there, I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
It's like, I'm just freaking out all the time.
Like, I can never have peace.
Even if I go on vacation, man, like, I'll just.
Your brain always goes.
I'm always thinking the worst.
Yeah, but like, what if, is it, I mean, the way I, what I hear when you say that.
I'm positive, right?
But I'm like, inside of me is like, there's like a voice that's always like.
But what I think that is just from being like older than you, right?
And I'm just sharing, you know, take it for what it is.
I actually think creatives because I, I've dealt with that for a long time.
and I think that we're we are driven by imagination.
We had to imagine our life, right?
You imagined all this somewhere.
You imagined it.
And then you're living it now.
And now you're imagining what's ahead of you.
The further we get down the road, it starts to get a little hard to imagine what's beyond
this because I think it takes us a minute to take in where we're at to actually own it
and to go like, no, this is my real life.
My real life is not there where I was in the slums.
My real life is now here.
I can go and get $100 out of the ATM and take my family to dinner and drive my car where I couldn't do that there.
None of this existed and now it exists.
And I think it takes a minute to like take that in and actually physically be in the present because we're catching up, you know.
And then we, while we're doing that, we're trying to imagine the future and the next thing so we can keep climbing the mountain.
Because at the end of the day, you didn't do this because you were like, eh, whatever.
You saw something.
You said, I bet I could climb that.
And then you started climbing, right?
Yeah.
And it's like the good part of us, right?
Like the child part of us that likes to have fun and play and be cool with everyone is actually the best part of us.
That's like the true part of us.
The part of us, I think that we have to defend ourselves against the world because it's a tough place is actually the less true part of us because those moments where we have to defend ourselves are actually like kind of few and far between in reality.
Yeah.
But they damage us so much that they cause us to kind of like always be on the guard.
And then if we're always on guard, we actually are taking that fun part of us and shoving it here to protect it.
And I think it's like that constant struggle between the past, the present,
what we have, what we didn't have, always jumbled up and then what we want for the future,
because we're never going to stop dreaming.
Anyone that tells you to be satisfied is wrong.
It's the only way you're going to make art is by dreaming and going forward, I think.
And so we always have to want more.
We always have to want to achieve more.
It's the only way we're going to create anything worthwhile.
And it's just who we are.
It's our lot in life, right, as artists.
And I think that like it's all from imagination.
And that's the struggle is even when you go on vacation,
even when you're just chilling, playing with your son,
even when you're at dinner with your wife.
And thank God they don't have to like go through this as well.
Like my wife.
Thank God.
Seriously.
My wife has to deal with me.
That's what that's.
Because she's calm.
That's why I'm like, I'll praise to them because I'm like a bomb.
But they understand that word.
these like what i would say dynamic right imaginative yeah my imagination is too much i think that's why even
the like that's why it can go wild sidetrack like can sidetrack you from just focusing on what's
in front of you like so yeah and that's all i struggle with you know like but you know what dude like
i think that we all do like i think that like what you're going through is is like interesting to
hear that because I'm sitting here going like, ah, you know, I'm not alone. Well, yeah, man,
it's like I don't want to be the guy who makes the cry for help because it's like I just
want to also prove to myself that I can get through this and I see everyone around me still here.
So I'm like, let's just keep pushing because everyone's standing strong and I feel like.
And you're leading your family. Like that's what that's what you're doing. You're going.
forward but but also the all the stuff that comes with having also like what you would say is ADD
I always think like we're we're actually just hyper focused oh yeah and when we're super hyper
focused on the wrong thing it's not good yeah but when we're hyper focused on the right thing
it's it's it's a stroke of genius it's a piece of art right and so we look at
at like these moments and go like why am I so anxious what I learned how to do as I got older
was was actually stop and recognize when I was feeling anxious and go I wonder why I'm feeling
anxious take a minute with it it took me like many years to like learn how to to like get
that that kind of wild animal in my control because my imagination a lot of times felt like a
wild animal. It felt like it was running all over the place. And sometimes it was in a good place
where I would create things. All the good things I've ever created in my life, whether it's music,
I think, or a company or a friendship or anything good in my life came from my imagination,
the good part. And all the problems I've ever had, I think, came from my imagination on the
bad side. So it's like, which side am I going to focus my energy on?
Trying not to manifest any more bad things.
But no, yeah, I don't think I have for like a long time.
But that's just the battle.
You know, I just like constantly try to stay away from anything I feel could disrupt my peace.
Yeah, negative disruptive things.
Or even things that happen in Elvia's life.
Like if she is going through things, I try to be the wise one to be like,
you're going to get through this.
This is just for now, you know, like, I don't know.
Yeah, like, family is the number one thing in my life.
And then, yeah, I just try to skate when I need to, like,
because that's what I need to stop thinking that like that.
Right, just go skate.
I just go skate and or anything like physical
where you don't like have to think for a second.
Yeah, you get.
Play video games even.
You get in your body and you're just thinking about skating
or you're thinking about whatever the physical,
whatever you're playing basketball.
I think you just got to step out the house.
Right.
Go for a walk.
Everyone needs that because, like, if you're working all the time,
it's like you get in your head too much.
Yeah.
You just kind of need a break and too much of anything's bad.
Do you think your parents had a big influence on your,
your love of family yeah because um i always wanted a love like that where they never gave up
no matter how annoying they were to each other you know they'd always be loyal and just
just make up and um you know it could be a little toxic but i think it's a healthy thing where
especially if you have a family
like I'm not against people splitting up
sometimes it happens but
yeah you know as much as possible
I respect when people just keep it together
and I think that's a beautiful thing
because like we get all just wild out and just not care about each other
but I think it's some it's really deep
when you just put all that aside
and value, like, family and, I don't know.
Those are just the kind of...
That's what I always wanted.
Those are the ethics that I always thought were, like, you know, golden.
So I just...
Where are your parents live?
They're in Manila.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, I'm trying to get them out here.
It just takes a while.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But they...
Yeah, they're good.
Like, I think they're healthy now.
Yeah.
Hopefully.
I always kind of wanted that too.
I just thought, I mean, my parents split up when I was young.
But it was one of my goals always was like when I, when I get, when I settle down,
I want to just just be with one person and try to build a family that were the moment,
where me and my wife are always together.
I want to be a grandpa.
Exactly.
With the grandma.
Yeah.
And then like I, and then you go through it.
I've been married for 12, 12 years and been with Nicole for 16 years.
And like you realize, like, white people split up.
You get it.
Like, it's a, it's a real life you're building.
And there's moments where, like.
No one's perfect.
And, like, people have their moments.
Like, people have moments where it's a season of life or it's a moment of life.
And you have to, like, it becomes deeper than.
than just like the idea that we're a couple, it's deeper than that.
Like you become, I think, like, real family.
You become best friends.
You become dependent on each other in a way that's, it's deeper than, I think,
than just a love relationship.
It's a high, it's way deeper than that.
For me, it feels like, it feels like family.
It feels like this is the person I want to have my back.
Sometimes people award it like codependency and I'm like,
What do you get these ideas?
It sounds really negative.
Yeah, I'm like, yo, like some people just want a solid person in their corner for life.
And all the time.
And some people want to be players all their life.
And, you know, there's no right or wrong.
But I just ended up being the guy who wanted to just be, you know, married and have family.
Like, that's chill to me.
Look at all.
Look at John Lennon and Yoko.
I mean, they're still in love.
And he's not even here.
Yeah.
Like, I could feel their love.
Yeah.
It's in all his music, everything left behind family.
I mean, if I go, like, I hope I leave that behind, like, all that love between us.
And, you know, it's better than my old music is just about, like, doing drugs.
It's not that cool, you know?
It's like, especially when people burn themselves.
I don't need to go to rehab.
It's like that stuff's sad.
That's what made me want to change because...
You saw a lot of that happening?
Yeah, it's sad, man.
It's like you'd never expect it to happen to anyone, but it'll happen, you know.
Some people just love getting messed up all the time.
Yeah, I think that they're, like, medicating some pain that they can't...
Yeah, usually a lot of my friends that are like that have, like, crazy family issues.
That's why I think the family thing is important.
It's like, it starts at home, like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the proof of, and the proof, like, is always your kid, right?
When you see.
If he's acting up, it's probably my fault.
So I'm just like, I got to get it together.
I feel that way.
I feel like if I, if the calm home creates the calm kids, right?
Mm-hmm.
The peaceful home creates the peaceful vibe with the kids.
the home where you feel like everyone's cheering each other on and supporting each other,
you see that.
And then you may meet someone and you think like your first judgment is like, oh,
this person is really negative and they're really this or they're really that.
But then you, if you go and look behind, like you go and look at the home they grew up in,
maybe they were getting criticized all the time.
Maybe they were just not getting support.
and then we don't actually live in a world where it's like cool to sit there and talk about like,
hey, so when I was growing up, my family was really not supportive.
They were critical of me all the time.
It made me feel really bad about myself.
I could go on about that too with my life, but I've learned to like forgive my parents.
Yeah.
Because now that I'm a parent, I'm like, okay, can't give you guys shit because I'm...
Because we're all just trying to invest.
I don't do that now too.
Yeah.
I'm like, so yeah, literally every, every choice you make reflects on your kids.
And yeah, I don't blame my parents being the way they were, like, they were probably
me either, by the way.
Trying their best, you know.
Especially at the time with the tools they have, with the information.
It's not like we had, my parents didn't have the internet to go on and go Google, like,
what's the best way to teach your kid how to, whatever.
Like, I literally will Google shit.
I'll literally Google it.
Google everything. I'll be like a best way to build confidence in a teen, you know, and then I'll
read like 50 things and I'll actually find one that I like, oh, you know what? That guy looks like,
that doctor or so-and-so actually feels like he knows what he's talking about. And then I'll go
down a rabbit hole. I'll research the doctor and say like, who is he? And then you'll find out
it's some real therapist who's done tons of research and, and you agreed with his point of
view and then you take a little piece of that back and you apply it even if it's just a little
piece it actually affects in a positive way whatever it is you're trying to do as a parent our
parents didn't have shit yeah they they were not like let me just check that out before i before i
make a decision here i'm going to google it oh there were only telephones is it and mail you call
your aunt or your uncle or whoever and be like remember meeting up with your friends
And just hoping they show up in an hour.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, I'm going to be at this 7-Eleven.
You better be there, man.
And they're like 30 minutes late and you'd think they died.
You're sitting on the curb waiting.
You're just like, man, are we going to skate or what this person probably got ran over?
Yeah, it's crazy.
My parents would always tell me that too, like, I didn't have nothing for Christmas.
Yep.
I'd be like, okay.
It doesn't change my Christmas.
As I got older, like, I remember we hit tough times when I was a teenager
and I'd have those Christmases where I didn't get nothing.
I was just grateful for other things, which was like the family.
You know, they were there for me.
They'd make us food and we'd spend time, watch a movie.
It was better than getting a present.
Yeah.
Sometimes you just get a present and then you don't even hang out.
It's just like...
Yeah, it's true.
You know, I had every experience.
Like, I've had...
It wasn't, like, rich, but, you know, I've been middle class,
and then we lost money and whatever, you know.
Yeah.
I just try to keep it real, and, like, it's not about that stuff anyway.
Like...
Where's your favorite place to live in the world?
Here.
L.A.?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's nice, huh?
It's...
Can't complain. I don't know, man. I can't like, I have nothing bad to say about LA. My whole life, you know, got better when I moved here.
But yeah, America's nice. I went to Miami recently.
That's cool.
That's a nice vibe. Maybe one day I'll, like, be able to live there.
Yeah. I mean, you will.
Yeah, like, L.A. is nice. Miami's nice. I love New York.
New York's cool.
I mean, I like everywhere I go almost.
But yeah, America is the place, like, in my head.
I've lived in London, you know, before.
So I don't know.
There's just nothing like America.
It is pretty, it is, it's weird how it, like, feels that way, right?
Like, you always get back here and you're like, especially when I get to L.A.,
I can get tired of L.A., but then I'll go, I love New York.
I'll go to New York for, like, a couple weeks and come back here.
And I'm, when you land, you're happy.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know. I wouldn't say it's laid back either.
LA's got like a sneaky hustle to it because it feels laid back, but everybody is working
and everybody's doing stuff.
It's just different.
It's aggressive too.
It's aggressive, yeah.
Like the driving and.
And it's, it's, it's a very like, it's a crazy city.
There's all these different pockets in different places and like.
You don't want to end up in the wrong place.
You don't want to end up in the wrong neighborhood in L.A.
you have to really like it is like a city like that where it's a little deceiving when you see it
on TV or whatever and then you you think you're just driving through Hollywood and you make a
right turn and you're on the wrong neighborhood or you go through.
Everyone's here.
That's the thing.
It's like all the dangerous people are here.
All the good people are here.
Everyone's here.
The devils, the angels.
They're all in the same city.
I think every city is like that.
like that though yeah every city has its stuff and it's things and i just like the beach and being able to go
to the snow in an hour that's like yeah that's something you don't experience anywhere you snowboard
no i just i haven't yet cool i don't either i'm just i hope this year will be the first year i go
i never could get it i just i didn't grow up skiing or snowboarding it was like kind of if and i'm
not categorizing it now it's different but when I was a kid it was like a rich sport that's a rich
thing no you know you know like imagine buying a snowboard like who has an extra who has a couple
extra thousand dollars to buy a snowboard the jacket the pants the helmet the gloves get a spot
in the woods like ski pass and then go there when get off work and go there for how many days okay
wait we're flying like it always seemed like to me when I was when I was when
I was when I was growing up that was like oh that's what rich people do they go skiing and
snowboarding and like that's cool and then so when I got older and I actually had the means to go
snowboard I never it for whatever reason it didn't live in my soul you weren't that interested
I tried once or twice I fell down a bunch of times and I was like I'm terrible at this it doesn't
live in me it's not in my it's not a part of my history like sledding I love sledding I'll do the
tubing in the sledding. That thing is fun. That's what I do. So now if like every couple of years
we'll go up like to the mountains somewhere. And my kids are actually like, we don't ski every year,
but like we've been a few times enough times from when they were little to now. My son can
snowboard. He can, he can kind of shred. And my daughter skis, my wife skis.
Have you gone skiing? Me? Yeah. I tried. I. I tried. I.
terror.
I like, it was, it was a mess.
It looks scary.
And they all make fun of me the whole time because I'm falling down the whole time.
It's pretty scary.
And then the lift is really scary because you're just like sitting there.
Anyway, so now when I go, I've resigned myself to like, look, you guys go ski for a day or two.
And then one day, one of the days we're going sledding.
We're going to go to the, there's like these mountains where you can just tube or sled or whatever.
And then that's what we do for me.
And the rest, I'm just hanging and just like taking pictures.
before they go out and then I'll just chill.
Doing the dad thing.
Yeah.
It's like the beach.
Yeah.
Because I didn't grow up near a beach either.
Yeah, I hate going into the ocean, honestly.
I can't go in the ocean.
I'm too scared.
So I don't surf.
I don't do any of that.
I'm not an extreme guy.
I just like jumping off stuff when I escape.
But yeah, the ocean, no thanks.
Yeah, I had to swim in the 100 islands one time in the Philippines.
And my friends were like, yeah, I'll just.
Let's go swim to this island.
So we hopped off the boat and we swam to this wooden thing that was floating in the middle of the ocean.
And on the way to this like wooden platform, I just froze up and I looked down there's jellyfish and like, oh my God, I have to get out of here.
Do you like, yeah, I can't do that ocean.
I would too.
It's too deep.
So I'm an amena.
And, like my music, my hair can change with me and has to be able to
to continue my rhythm.
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I'll go
fishing.
That's as far
as I'll go.
I like to fish.
I like to fish.
But I won't go
in the
ocean. I won't swim in the ocean. I won't do any of that.
Funny, I make like surf, surf rock songs and I think it's skating, not surfing.
Because I see you, like, when I hear your music, I do relate it to skating.
It's not all skating. But yeah, it's like fully.
I got into music, like the niche stuff that I found were in skate videos, like all the cool, weird
The stuff you thought was cool.
Like black flag songs.
Yeah.
You would never.
Well, I mean, that was the first place I discovered it.
So, but yeah.
And then you guys were on TV when I was growing up.
So I was like, I want to do this.
But I don't know how.
And then you did it.
Yeah.
That's how we were.
We were the same way.
We were just like.
Who were your idols when you're like?
You know, I was, it was the 90s.
And what we had access to was a radio.
and magazines.
And we didn't have,
and I'd watch MTV
when I went to like a friend's house.
We didn't have cable,
but at the time,
whenever I was at a friend's house,
I would like turn on MTV
and just like watch it for an hour.
It would be the one, like, artists you'd get.
I would, I loved,
I used to video,
I used to record the TV on VHS.
Yeah.
When I'd see like Puff Daddy.
I like,
like Nirvana.
I liked all that.
I liked all that.
I liked, I loved, I love Tupac, I love Biggie, I love Jay-Z, I love Naws, I love the Beastie
Boys.
So you saw all that growing up?
Yeah.
And I loved, and then I loved Rancid, and I loved, I loved Green Day, I loved the, like, all
the punk stuff coming out of the bay.
I would just kind of eat it.
I would just kind of look in magazines and find.
anything that was coming out of California, social distortion, anything that was not, you know, for
me it was like the dream was to get out of where I was from. So I always had this dream of going
to California because I'd never been, I didn't even been on a plane until I was 19. So I was kind of like
just the next, the first chance I get to go, I'm going and I'm never coming back. And that's
kind of how I felt about. I think it was just a rough childhood. I wanted to. I wanted to
escape from became a fantasy of like leaving and music was the vehicle right yeah is the there's a spaceship
exactly uh but then you know like i think the important part of the journey was like learning that i
actually i think the most important part was learning my own value i didn't place a high value on myself
when i was young i just wanted to get out of where i was from because i think i i hated my life yeah and then i
got into music and I never took myself that seriously.
I kind of just making music and it was like it felt like I was the luckiest guy in the
world didn't feel like I was like no one cared what I was saying.
I was just, that's how I felt right.
You guys were saying stuff.
But we were kind of saying stuff without even knowing we were saying stuff.
We were definitely just being subconsciously making music.
We didn't really think too much about what we were saying.
We were just saying it.
Yeah.
And then you listen back and you're like, oh damn, you had some stuff to say.
you were a little, you were working some stuff out in those songs.
And now, like, I've had a lot of time to think about it, probably too much time to think about it.
I'm probably more cerebral than I should be, but like, that's just where I'm at and that's how I like to be.
But I like to, I love to listen to music and dissect what someone's feeling.
And like maybe, even if they're not aware of like maybe, because sometimes as artists, we just,
we just kind of like stream of consciousness, let out whatever comes out.
and it feels good to sing.
And then you listen back and you're like,
oh, damn, like, that's, I'm saying something there.
You guys had songs about, like, classism.
I don't know.
I think it was.
But at the time, it was this as simple as we.
It was like pop punk at the time was like the thing, you know.
And I don't know.
But for us at the time, I think the classism thing was literally just we didn't have money.
Yeah.
And we literally said, we wrote a song about if you don't want it, we'll take it.
And then everyone turned it into like kind of like eat the rich type thing, which I, which is cool.
But it wasn't that cool.
Like we, it wasn't that complicated when we wrote the song.
We were just like, hey, if you don't want to be rich and famous, give it to me because I do because I got nothing.
Exactly.
And it wasn't saying that rich and famous is bad.
It was saying, no, there's a lot of bands.
I think even I grew up with that were like, fuck fame.
And I've always been like, hey, that doesn't look too bad to me.
Like fame looks kind of sick.
You're like, doesn't that just mean that everybody fucks with your shit or like that you're doing well?
In my mind, when I was young, that's what it meant.
It still does, man.
It's like I like don't want to be poor.
So it's like I just, I look at success and I'm like, man, can a guy like me who had nothing like live that life?
Like that's.
Well, you know.
The answer is yes.
And then, you know, you just can't forget that this thing is about just loving what you do and having fun.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And finding the balance of like what I feel like we probably agree on.
At all costs, I'm going to take care of my family.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm never going to go back.
I'm never going to go backwards.
I'm never going to go.
Yeah, I never looked back like ever since I came here.
that's funny you ask like where my parents are and if I'd ever go back there I don't I really have no
no plans of going back I think like you know doing it here is the only place you can really do it like
but I want people to know that like you can be from there and you can come here and you can change
your whole life like you don't have to be like you know like you you got out of your town like
you want, you know, it doesn't matter what town you come from.
Just like as long as you make that move, that big leap, that big leap is the
probably the hardest thing too because like you have people around you that would be like,
maybe it's actually not such a good idea.
But if you feel it deep down, like it is.
It's the best idea probably.
And hopefully, you know, people.
are just fearless.
I think that what you're saying is you just summed up how I feel.
You really did.
And I think that like, but I, listen, I think that you'll probably end up going back to Manila one day on your own terms because you have to because your music has to be, you have to go play there because you're.
I would love to.
You know, like you're, you're, you're, what you're building with your music around the world.
is like, I mean, look at your Spotify followers, dude.
Look at the, look at how much of an, like, you have this music that is unique to itself.
And it's, it's reaching masses of people.
It's not just a little group of people.
It's building this large group around the world of people who believe in you, who fuck
with you, who love your art.
And it's inevitable that you're going to have to go all these different places
in the world and like and play for the people that love your music. But I think it's cool to go to
be when every time, I mean, you've been back to London and you went back on your own terms.
When you go to Japan, when you go to Manila, when you go to wherever your music takes
you in the world, it's going to be on your terms, which is also to me like the best part
of the story.
Like, I guess I always wonder, like, I always kind of think of like life if we were
watching a movie.
How would we want the movie to like, if you, like, when I think about your story, when you
tell me the things that you've, like, the journey you've been on, I go, well, how else would
I want the movie to be?
It sounds like, it's hard to go through.
But as a band, you watch something and go, I wouldn't want this movie to be playing any other
way.
Like that beginning of the movie was fucking great.
but now we're here and it's great you know so like i always imagine like well what's the next
part of the movie i think you're in like a really great place i'm excited for the new music
thanks man i'm excited to watch the family grow they're growing yeah yeah he's growing so fast
crazy elvia is just becoming more of a mom and it's lovely to see man like it's all we wanted
Yeah, we were just talking about this, like, when we'd be in bed and be like, oh, like,
wouldn't it be nice if we had a family?
Here we are.
And here we are, like, it would be nice to get some sleep.
I'm just kidding.
Yeah, exactly.
That doesn't happen for years.
No, yeah.
I'm still waiting.
I got a couple more years.
Yeah, you're in the trenches right now.
Yeah, it's all good, though.
It's what I signed up for.
Thanks for coming and talking.
Thank you.
Wow.
