As The Raven Dreams Podcast - Valentine's Day Special - What The Heart Wants by N. Murdock

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Starting point is 00:00:44 The voice that we am. Quick warning. Some of the content of this story could be considered sensitive to some viewers and as always

Starting point is 00:00:50 viewer discretion is advised. Enjoy. Happy Valentine's Day here on the Nevermore, my good friends. Today's story is What the Heart Wants by N. Murdoch.

Starting point is 00:01:13 I'm not really sure how to start this off. I mean, sure, I can hit all the cliches on the head and make this the most unoriginal thing you've ever read. But you deserve so much more than that. You deserve something pure and from the heart. Something that you can see and know that it was me. and only me who could have put these words on the page. The trouble comes about when I stop and think about just what it is you mean to me.

Starting point is 00:01:48 I know that probably sounds bad. Like, really? He can't even put how he feels down on paper? Do I mean that little? No. The issue here is that words are fickle and frankly can't accurately express the things I feel. feel when I look into your eyes. When I see the sunlight dance off of your hair, or when I see a smile spread across your lips,

Starting point is 00:02:19 every detail of your being is etched into my mind as if by the finest sculptor. You are a miracle given form, the sweetest dream come true, a hypnotic mirage that I can't help. but stumble toward. I can't help, but be entranced by you and everything that you are. From the moment we first spoke, I knew there was no sound sweeter in heaven or earth. You were shy the first time we met, like you weren't sure just how much of yourself you should let me see, as if I could judge someone so perfect. When our hands first touched, you pulled away before blushing.

Starting point is 00:03:13 I couldn't help but grin. You smiled back meekly, your soft lips pursing slightly. And right then and there, I knew. There were no other lips for me. The gentle breeze drifted through your hair and sent your perfume dancing through my nostrils. I was mesmerized. I felt like I could float away into the sky at any moment. You caught me staring then, though you didn't seem to mind.

Starting point is 00:03:50 You just giggled in that innocent way that you do and set me falling for you that much more. When it finally came time for us to part ways, both an eternity and an instant later, I asked you if I could try. treat you to dinner. Again, you blushed and nodded before taking out a pen and writing your number on my palm. I was over the moon. As soon as I got home that day, I got to work. I had to do my research and figure out just how I could impress you. I had only one chance after all, and I

Starting point is 00:04:31 wasn't about to blow it. I entered your phone number online and set to work figuring out every little detail about your life. Everything I learned, it just made me more enthralled. I found out where you lived, what you did for work, who you've dated in the past. Everything. I'll admit, I did get a touch jealous when I saw your exes, but I didn't feel threatened. You didn't have a connection with them like you do with me. I considered learning about them.

Starting point is 00:05:05 I mean, I did. have their names, and so many people neglect their privacy settings on their social media, so it really wouldn't be hard in the end. But I opted just to focus on you for now. When I felt I had learned everything there was to learn about you, I called it a night. I went to bed, thinking about you. I wanted to give you the world, and I was going to. That night, I had dreams of us, the places we would go, the things we would do.

Starting point is 00:05:45 I've never had a more restful night of sleep in my life. The next day, I set out to find that perfect gift for you. I had seen on your timeline that one of your friends had recently gotten engaged. You were happy for her, but it was clear that you longed for a prince to offer you a ring like that. and to pledge his undying love. So that is what I aimed to do. I pulled all of the money from my savings. I sold my car.

Starting point is 00:06:18 I even managed to get out of the lease on my apartment and get my security deposit back. What do I need an apartment for if we're going to spend our lives together, right? I took all the money I had and I bought you the most beautiful ring that I could find. The woman at the jewelry store said you were the luckiest woman in the city. Can you believe that? I waited until sunset to surprise you at your house. I know you've always thought moonlight was romantic.

Starting point is 00:06:51 And I know it wasn't a full moon like you were probably imagining, but a guy can only do so much. I knocked on your door, and I got down on one knee, ready to see your face. slide up. When you answered the door, though you seemed confused, you didn't look happy or ecstatic. You didn't pull me into your arms and accept my proposal. At first, it was like you didn't even recognize me. But that's crazy. I mean, how could you not recognize your soulmate? I could see in your eyes when it clicked, they got wide. Don't get me wrong. I'm a sucker for those big dark eyes, but you looked scared.

Starting point is 00:07:38 Why would you be scared of me? You don't ever have to be scared. Not of me or anything else. You know that I would always protect you, don't you? After a moment, you choked out a quiet question. And I have to say, it rubbed. me the wrong way. You asked me what I was doing at your house.

Starting point is 00:08:07 What did I look like I was doing? How could you even ask me that? I told you I was there to make all of your dreams come true. To take the first step towards our future together. At that you looked like you were going to be sick. Like you wanted to shut the door in my face and run. And I wasn't too happy when you did try. to shut me out.

Starting point is 00:08:33 I quickly wedged my foot in the door and told you to calm down. Everything was going to be okay. We were going to be happy. But you just screamed at me, told me to go away. What were you thinking? We're meant for each other. We're in love. I forced the door open and you screamed again.

Starting point is 00:09:00 God. All that screaming, it just, it didn't sit well with me. I told you that you were safe. I told you that I loved you. But all you wanted to do was cry and scream and throw things at me. You actually threw a fucking shoe at my face. Who throws a shoe? The toe caught me just right to split my eyebrow open,

Starting point is 00:09:36 and I'll be the first to admit that I may have lost my temper. I grabbed your ankles and pulled you closer, and I know you're not supposed to hit a woman. It's not the way a man should treat anyone, let alone someone he loves. But you just wouldn't. Stop fighting me. And sooner or later, your screaming was going to draw attention. The last thing we needed while we worked this out

Starting point is 00:10:16 was the police or some good Samaritan showing up at our front door. I hate to say it, but hitting you worked. You got quiet, and I could find. I finally feel my headache start to subside. While you were out, I tied you up for your own safety. I swear. I didn't want you to wake up woozy and have a fall or hurt yourself. And I only gagged you so that you wouldn't scream before we got the chance to talk.

Starting point is 00:10:55 I was going to make you dinner while you were indisposed, but you should really go shopping more. I mean, we have, like, no groceries at all. So, I just ordered pizza from that place down the road. I know your favorite is Hawaiian, but I just don't think pineapple belongs on a pizza. So I ordered pepperoni. Nice and simple, right? The food got here on time.

Starting point is 00:11:28 You weren't quite awake yet, so thankfully I didn't. have to explain our little lovers quarrel to the pizza guy. I realized that I must have hit you a lot harder than I meant to, and I'm still really sorry about that, but one little spat isn't going to stop our love from growing. I know you'll come to forgive me in time. By the time you came to, I had lit some candles and set out some pizza for us, when your eyes adjusted and saw me sitting there,

Starting point is 00:12:01 admiring you, you, you began to struggle. I whispered to you to calm down, and soon enough, you did. Your eyes were wild like some animal. I was a little hurt that my presence didn't soothe your fear. I told you, if you could promise not to scream, I would take the gag out. Besides, the food was. was getting cold and I've never been a fan of cold pizza. You nodded in agreement, and slowly I moved my hand up to get the rag from your mouth.

Starting point is 00:12:44 I couldn't help but caress that soft cheek of yours before I did, though. It was at this point that I almost felt like you were trying to fight me, because when I pulled that gag out while my fingers were still in your mouth, you fucking bit me. Now, a little playful nibbling here and there is fine. It can be really cute, but you, oh, you bit my index and forefinger clean off like fucking carrots. Why do you insist on fighting me? I love you, and I know that you love me too.

Starting point is 00:13:27 You can't just push me away by how. acting out like this. I clamped my free hand over my mouth, and I tried to muffle my own cries of pain. You, on the other hand, started squirming and wriggling to get out of the knots that I tied you in. You started screaming for help as you crawled away from me, and all I could do was frantically try to bind the bloody stubs of my fingers. The knots came loose, and soon you were on your feet, screaming for help, all the. away. Help? You don't need anyone's help but mine, but I can't fucking help you if you keep

Starting point is 00:14:08 fighting me. I staggered to my feet and I made my way after you through the house, bleeding all over our carpets. I finally caught up with you in the kitchen. See, while you were out, I went ahead and I locked all the doors and windows in the house, and we should have a talk about that, too. Seriously, what if some crazy person had broken in while you were asleep? But that's why you have me to protect you. Thankfully, you weren't able to unlock the door before I stopped you. I just wanted us to have a nice, romantic meal on our engagement night, but all you wanted to do was fight.

Starting point is 00:14:51 I grabbed your wrists and I held you still while I tried to talk to you. I tried so hard. hard to calm you down, to make you see sense. I knew that cohabitation would be rough at first, but it was like you wanted to throw our whole relationship away. With all of that screaming and scratching, I couldn't help myself. Before I even really knew what I was doing, I reached for your neck and I started to squeeze. I felt something, kind of like a, a crunching.

Starting point is 00:15:38 As my grip got tighter and tighter, I just wanted you to be quiet. And finally, you, well, you were. Your eyes got really big, way bigger than before, and your face, it turned this ugly, reddish, purple color. You made this horrible gurgling sound while you were choking for air. I didn't like it, but it was better than the constant screaming. I don't know how long I held you there, but it felt like an eternity. My arms were aching by the time I finished.

Starting point is 00:16:18 When I was sure that you were done fighting with me, I sat you gently on the floor, and I fished that bottle of blueberry wine from the cupboard. I poured myself a glass, and I downed it in a matter of seconds. There were a pen and some old envelopes sitting there, so I decided to write this letter for you. Sure, you were there for it, but I don't know. It just feels right.

Starting point is 00:16:49 I don't expect you to read it now. Obviously, I'm not crazy. I know what I've done, but sooner or later, someone is going to notice that you aren't around. anymore and come looking, or maybe one of our neighbors will have called the cops. I think it'll help them piece everything together when they finally find us. But I'm going to put you to bed now. You'll be more comfortable there.

Starting point is 00:17:23 I'm going to finish this wine. I'm going to put this ring on your finger. And then maybe I'll, uh, I'll take a knife and I'll join you in eternity. I will always love you. So that was once again, what the heart once by Mr. N. Murdoch, good friend of mine, fantastic author, absolutely blows me away with his stuff. He asked me if I would read the story for Valentine's Day, and despite it being a Sunday, I said I was all for it because he wrote it.

Starting point is 00:18:11 So now that goes. You know, honestly, I'm actually beyond honored that he asked me to read it. So thank you very much, Ben. I really do appreciate it. And I hope that all of you guys out there that Alcind appreciated this as well and really did enjoy it because I may have had a little bit too much fun with it, you know. But these parts are just so entertaining. I love playing the crazy people sometimes.

Starting point is 00:18:39 it really accentuates that whole acting part of voice acting. Thank you again, Mr. Murdoch. Thank you very much. And thank you to everyone who listened. And if you did enjoy this, please do consider subscribing to the channel. Hit that little bell icon next to the subscribe button. Follow me on the social media platforms. And if you feel so inclined, join the channel, channel memberships,

Starting point is 00:19:00 or support over Patreon. All supporters get early access to the videos. So, you know how that goes. Did I say that twice already in that? this outro? What is wrong with me? Anyway, um, yeah, do those if you want. If you don't, that's fine. Just know I appreciate it if you do, and I still appreciate you if you don't. So, I hope you'll have a beautiful Valentine's Day. I hope that I will see you on the next video. And until then, sleep well.

As The Raven Dreams Podcast - Valentine's Day Special - What The Heart Wants by N. Murdock

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