Ask Dr. Drew - Ask Dr. Drew - Bert Kreischer - Episode 15

Episode Date: April 16, 2020

Ask Dr. Drew is joined by comedian and TV host Bert Kreischer! Missed the live show? Get an alert next time Dr. Drew is taking calls: http://drdrew.tv Bert Kreischer is a comedian and actor. His latest comedy special "Hey Big Boy" launched in March 2020 on Netflix. In 1997, Rolling Stone magazine called Kreischer "the top partyer at the Number One Party School in the country." He is married to LeeAnn Kreischer, who appeared on a recent episode of Ask Dr. Drew alongside Christina P. Ask Dr. Drew is produced by Kaleb Nation (@KalebNation) and Susan Pinsky (@FirstLadyOfLove). THE SHOW: For over 30 years, Dr. Drew Pinsky has taken calls from all corners of the globe, answering thousands of questions from teens and young adults. To millions, he is a beacon of truth, integrity, fairness, and common sense. Now, after decades of hosting Loveline and multiple hit TV shows – including Celebrity Rehab, Teen Mom OG, Lifechangers, and more – Dr. Drew is opening his phone lines to the world by streaming LIVE from his home studio in California. On Ask Dr. Drew, no question is too extreme or embarrassing because the Dr. has heard it all. Don’t hold in your deepest, darkest questions any longer. Ask Dr. Drew and get real answers today. This show is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All information exchanged during participation in this program, including interactions with DrDrew.com and any affiliated websites, are intended for educational and/or entertainment purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Our laws as it pertains to substances are draconian and bizarre. Psychopaths start this way. He was an alcoholic because of social media and pornography, PTSD, love addiction. Fentanyl and heroin, ridiculous. I'm a doctor for.

Say, where the hell you think I learned that? And you say, you go to treatment before you kill people. I am a clinician. I observe things about these chemicals. Let's just deal with what's real. We used to get these calls on Loveline all the time. Educate adolescents and to prevent and to treat. You have trouble, you can't stop, and you might help stop it.

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Very similar to IV hydration. Also, I want to shine a little light on the charities we highlighted this week. On the dose of Dr. Drew, the Union Rescue Mission, URM.org. Of course, that's headed by Dr. Andy Bales. And they're doing the homeless work downtown. They've been doing more than anybody forever. And they need your help. Also, we were speaking to Nap Fields of the URI NYC, the resource, the, is it Universal Resource Institute? Help me.

Urban Resource Institute, NYC, which helps families, victims of domestic abuse, developmentally disabled, and homeless. So they're an incredible organization. We looked into them deep, and you can donate to them at URINYC.org. Then the Open Center of New York, and also New Yorkers for New York, F-O-R New York, as well as NY, number four, NY. It's the hashtag. Therapeutics to New Yorkers in the Frontline, supplied by the Open Center in New York. And that's when we talked to Ross Kettler.

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We love you. We love them. We worked very hard to find these programs that we thought were worthy and for whom your dollars go long way. So with that said, you also asked for a palate cleanser today, and we have, we're going to provide that with our friend Bert Kreischer. Bert, welcome.

By popular demand. I'm so fucking wasted, man. I love being this drunk. I'm hammered. Fucking jackasses. But you're not. That's actually the point. You're not at all no i don't know what it says about me that uh that like america is turning into alcoholics

and gaining weight and i'm losing weight and not drinking what do you think that is what now that when i spoke to you two weeks ago very briefly two weeks ago you were sort of freaking out a little bit and now you're good i'm much better uh i think i've leaned into my howard hughes ask ways and uh i'm not leaving the house and i'm enjoying it i can see the solace or the warm blanket in isolation i love it do you think i don't like people touching my doors do you think do you think that some of it was like alcohol withdrawal maybe those make your anxiety spiral yeah i think you know what it is i have natural come by it like a regular american ocd like not checking here's my thing is it's not it's not uh how many steps of steps i'm going to count them one two three four it's not checking

doorknobs five times lick it twice it's more like the doors are locked right and you're like uh the front door is kind of locked let me check it one more time like that regular ocd yeah and this covid shit has tweaked it hard in what in what sense and like and like i don't like people coming to my house like people like someone showed up at my house the other day and i was like what the fuck are you doing like it seemed seems so aggressive to me yeah yeah yeah and like we had pizza delivered and the guy was like rang the doorbell i go what are you an animal put it on the fucking ground walk away like jesus christ man you don't have gloves on the fuck kind of so i i feel like i've really been enjoying it like i like this sounds horrible but i haven't been drinking i don't need to my drinking we

talked about this the other day my drinking is entirely based on fomo yeah that's really interesting uh what do you mean like you're not gonna be fun if you don't drink no no no no it's the same reason i have a fear about dying like i'd be cool if we all died together but i don't want to die first and then you guys still party and then i can't party with you but so I so I see so it's because nobody's partying you don't have FOMO yep yep and no one's making money so I'm cool as long as we're all not doing it together I'm very happy I think I would have loved being a communist I would have loved being a communist is this is this I'm not sure because it sounds like it's it's it's bringing up a competitive part of you right if you can't compete you're out yeah oh no i'm sure there is a competitive

part of me aspect that is what it is it's it's drive it's like i bust my ass on the road because i feel like and that by the way that is not gone like i i dealt a little bit with it when my special came out hey big boy streaming right now on netflix yeah um and wait wait wait i told segura today that i liked yours better i told him good that's all he needs just text him one more time so he knows it and and uh and i loved it i loved your special it is it got me i actually here's what i actually told him i said yours and his got me through the first 10 days of this thing. I tell you what, Drew. I've always thought what we do is kind of a little bit narcissistic, a little bit ego-driven, whatever daddy issues we have

that makes us want to do that weird job. I will tell you now, I have never needed Hollywood more in my life. Not necessarily I don't need them talking to me and telling me how to live my life and that we're all in this together. I find that obnoxious. But I'm not shitting on Cat Calloway or Cabba Cat

Verdot. I'm not shitting on her. By the way, if she had texted me about singing a fucking lyric i would have sang the whole thing shirtless you know i would have but but it's like it's like oh i would have done a panel i would have yeah i would have gotten a phone book and tried to suck my own dick through the point is i like i really appreciate hollywood in that making movies really does this movie distracts you and entertainment distracts you and there's so

much kind of rough stuff going on that tapping out for a second really is enjoyable and so like i'm i'm like doubling down on hollywood going you know you guys don't suck this isn't the pit of despair that i thought it was i'm really enjoying the fact that i have a ability to do a podcast or to do stand up and take people's mind off it by the podcast is uh burt cast uh at youtube.com slash burt kreischer also burt burt burt.com right you're one of my biggest downloads we just did a podcast like three weeks ago two weeks ago and you're all over the place and by the way i was like i don't want to spend too much time talking about the disease little i know is gonna fucking explode to where it was i should have huh i know right i should have pulled a tom segura here tom did a podcast about the disease the cdc made him take it down really what what happened like this is irresponsible journalism

you're telling everyone a bunch of lies you're gonna get people hurt oh no what do you say oh yeah who knows what he said he's like you he's like you can't wear get it if you work on them who knows what he said but oh no oh my gosh yeah well goody i'm glad you down that's good but my point to go back to what we were talking about so when the special came out i felt very castrated i felt very neutered i couldn't do anything i couldn't get in front of it and and promote it and get it out to people and get the word out i couldn't do any all press was canceled everything was canceled everything was pushed back and then all of a sudden i had this weird solace and i this goes back to my socialism roots is I kind of was like, Hey,

people are got it way rougher than needing to hear about my special. Like there's people really dealing with shit that don't want to be like, all I could think about was the waiters and waitresses that like I've dealt with my whole life in comedy clubs. I was like, all of them are out of work and they're living paycheck to paycheck. And a lot of them have kids and families. and i was like okay bert like put things in perspective that shift of perspective drew yeah put me like leveled me it leveled me and i was like

i don't have to worry about food this this month i don't have to worry about food for a few months and so i started really kind of it made me feel better and then i was like no one's doing stand-up cool no one's got a cool like there's a there's a race as a stand-up to want to get the first joke out yeah and then you start looking at everyone putting out content so much content hacky as fucking shit you're like oh shut your mouth sit back in the pocket and wait for your time because and look your show is out there prominently on netflix and this is the time when people are looking for stuff like that to to feel better

yeah and so i i was kind of like you know i just had to kind of learn how to be comfortable in the moment and and oddly enough in that process booze did not equate how i think i talked about this on your podcast but i'm wanting to read a little refresher how are your daughters doing with some of the commentary on hey big boy they're more upset by my misogyny apparently it has come very clear in my family that i'm a misogynist and so I have a joke about one of my first jokes is um I put my dick on my wife's shoulder and my daughters heard it I filmed it I put I filmed them hearing it and then put it on Instagram and they laughed and then they're like

like that didn't happen and mom was my wife was like no it did and they were like I mean so appalled by my behavior and i was like you guys were at school and they're like that's not what it's about dad that's disgusting and i was and so i think it's it we're getting to the point where it's like i used to tell a good dick pussy joke and now the kids realize oh that's my dad's dick and mom's pussy which is a little more uncomfortable a little is this the lightheartedness your fans are looking for, Drew? I believe so. It's still there.

It's real. It's a sleeper disease. They asked for you by name. Let's take a caller. All right, let's take a call. Let's take some calls. Let's do it. All right.

Let's see. I love that you're going hmm jeans high and tight pass main mommy pass Abraham hey there hey mommy

hey mommy Frank Caller hang up Drew mommy's in the bed. Oh, my God. I just did a thing with Segura, and we found a guy that, oh, my God. I'm going to go on YMH just to go deeper into his world. It's unbelievable.

Anyway, so what's up, Abraham? Yeah. Nothing much. I'm just over here glassing, you know, eating some new soup because of the COVID-19. But anyway, my

question actually has to do more so with or asking, why haven't you been on Joe Rogan's podcast? Because I feel like you're very, you're an advocate for like

the homeless problem and he seems to be a little bit interested in that. And so I feel like you two problem and he seems to be a little bit interested in that and so i feel like you two on a podcast together would bring a lot more like information and a lot like to spread it a lot more to like this listener yeah like why haven't you been on well maybe i i don't know uh maybe bert knows do you know that's so funny when i when i heard the question i thought he was asking me and i was like i'm not a big advocate for homeless i don't understand where this is coming from you were just on it weren't you yeah i know i was so confused then i was like

halfway through i was like i think he's talking to drew yeah yeah um you guys used to do loveline all the time yeah i i love joe roger i listen to his podcast all the time i i don't know what the deal is maybe i did i say something or do something or well you have who have you had beefs with like you have beef with stanhope right and we are stanhope and our buddies now yeah did you hear he got uh he got tested positive for covet 19 is he okay it's touch and go uh is he at home i don't know i'm making this up just a little lightheartedness drew a little lightheartedness you're freaking me the hell out dude now i'm gonna be a fucking goner he smokes every day he's also bionic he's also superhuman the stuff he's been through and still yeah he's no but you but you but you you

and stanhope you and stanhope had a like a issue right that you cleared up on a podcast yeah yeah no problem have you and joe ever had anything i don't not that i'm aware of that i i don't know he's he is uh thrown out a few insults here and there and i and i just don't know where it's coming from his wife sent me some beautiful scarves that was uh stanhope's really yeah stanhope's wife yeah um wait uh did is it maybe it's marijuana were you did you say marijuana was a gateway drug or something i doubt it because i i i i think i said i've treated marijuana addicts and somehow that offends him. And I think now he understands. Oh, I was offended when Eric, what was it? Eric was a marijuana addict? Yeah.

Eric, Eric. Was it Eric Stoltz or? No, Eric. Oh. Eric Roberts. Eric Roberts, yes. Yeah, man, what a great fucking actor and to blow it all on doobies. He's a great guy too.

But yeah, I mean, i've treated a bunch of marijuana addicts and people have trouble stopping it that's that's if people can't stop they should stop if that's what they want to do and if they don't want and they need help that's what i help and cannabis can be one of those people what's up i say we get you know sagura is the he is the he is the back door policy to joe like sagar and joe are are really like sagar is my i'm tom's best friend joe tom joe is tom's greatest friend well i'll find out maybe he knows maybe he knows maybe he knows yeah find out from tom all right let's talk to uh this is a tom question from uh i think it's done hold on here uh hey there danny hi yeah i basically just wanted to tell bert you know i love him but let's be honest

tom is way better than bert he'll never be more successful than him uhurt is way more fat than Tom. There's no way you will ever run 50 miles in 24 hours. Wait, wait, slow down. Burt is fatter than Tom? Is that what he's saying? Way more fat than Tom. He's so overweight. He's so overweight.

I just want to say, Burt, you will die if you attempt to run 50 miles in 24 hours. There's no way you will have a heart attack and drop dead. I don't believe so. By the way, let me tell you something about me. I've been doing stay-along, but I can't. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Go ahead. No, I interrupted him until I could hear you. I want to hear the rest of his stupid sentence. All right. Hold on. Hold on. I got to get him back. I'm sorry.

Danny. What was his name? Danny. Danny. Go ahead, Danny. No, that's not my real name. My name is D'Artagnan. I just used a fake name. D'Artagnan. I just wanted to say something funny.

You know. You did it. Congratulations, brother. Well done. All for one and wonderful all. Oh, yeah. Congratulations. And also, I'm the real Bonditi. Do you know who he is? I don't know. I like the D'Artagnan thing. He's one of the

Three Musketeers. Well done. I have a visual of what he looks like, by the way. Yeah? Yeah, like 5'6", overweight Mexican, black hair, not really kept up, like kind of little messy stains on his shirt. And so that gives me solace in what he said. Uh, go ahead there, Frank. What's up, Frank? Hey, what's going on? My name is Frank. Um,

I, I am a big fan of you guys. I've been listening to Dr. Drew After Dark, The Birdcast. Yeah, I just had a question because I'm a musician, so I kind of see similarities with that with comedy and performing. And when I was in college, I started this band. And at the time, I was drinking all the time with my friends. At certain points, it was like five, six times a day getting possibly blackout drunk. And I noticed one time a year later, I was sober for the day and played the show and was like, this is the first time I've played a show sober. And it was awful, probably because we were all drunk. So anyway, long story short, I didn't, I didn't, I was wondering if there's a connection between, if you can tell I'm stuttering, it's also half of I'm stressed.

But I've noticed that later in life, after the period of me drinking a lot, that I seem to stumble over words. I watch the podcast, Bert. I feel like sometimes you do the same thing. Like, the names will fuck with me. I'm just like, ah, shit. And half of the, like my band has fun on stage and banter. So it becomes kind of funny with me and the singer,

like, well, just shit on me when I do it. And, um, so I was just curious, do you think that's related to excessive drinking in my early twenties? And I also noticed that it doesn't happen when I'm singing.

How old are you now? I am a 31. 31 now. And are you taking any medications, or have you done any other substances besides alcohol? No. I do eat Taco Bell like five times a week for the past 10 years. Right.

So possibly. I mean, as you get older. Doing hard drugs. Are you still drinking heavily? No. No. What are you still drinking heavily? No, no. What do you think, Bert? I love that he roped me into his dysfunction. He was like, Bert, you know what I'm talking about.

You're a fat alcoholic. I hear your problems with word fighting all the time. You know, it's so funny. I do stumble over words a lot more now that i'm older than i did when i was younger but i didn't have a lot to say when i was younger so i i didn't feel like i have more to say now um it does happen to me if i have coffee and if i'm hung over i will definitely stammer a lot more than uh than i do now but yeah but i also think that's just getting older it's like remember when you were a kid and your mom would go,

David, David, Michael, Martin, God damn it. What's your fucking name? So that shit, but,

but there, there are a lot. Alcohol definitely affects your brain. There's no doubt about it. And different people in differing degrees. Uh, some people are very sensitive to it. Some are not so much,

but, um, to have drunk enough to have real cognitive changes by 30, that you have to have really had a lot. It usually takes a few decades to get irreversible damage. Let's put it that way. And the brain is pretty resilient. And so you can kind of come back from it if you curtail yourself.

Right. It's not too bad. It's just I'll catch myself stumbling and it's comical. And I don't remember it when I was younger. Yeah, it's concerning, right? I mean, that's the kind of word-finding difficulty, name-finding difficulty is something you should be having in your 50s, not in your 30s.

So just concerning, that's all. What's the matter, Byrne? Nothing. I don't even want to talk about this. Why just drink it away? No. Have a cocktail. Loosen up.

Dose, I think, is the name. Dose? Is that right? Yes, sir. What's up? You're a big Burt fan. Hey, man. Yeah, so, yeah, I was just on Twitter and I was following Burt and he said he'd shoot it out, call it out, so I did. Like everyone else, I'm a big fan.

And I was just about to watch freaking Two Bears and One Cave right now I think it's like episode 25 I was about to watch but now I'm in, you know, it's just a lot of props to both of you guys but you guys, you did touch on something, Bert like

I did stop drinking a lot because of all this quarantine, you know I was worried, like everybody else like I bought a case of like, you know, I was, I was worried. I was like, like everybody else, you know, like I bought like a case of like, you know, some beer and it's a drink over time. But, um,

that thing has lasted. And I don't know why, but yeah, I like drinking for some reason. I don't, I don't even need it as much because I drink every day and I'm blackout, but I do drink every day, you know?

So now this is quarantine. I drink even less. So I just be on that bird. And I guess, I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. I wonder why we're doing that. Cause I'm the same way.

Like if you look at my garage, I'm going to smell the alcohol in there. Like an astounding, like, like a case of big handles of Tito's. And I just, I wish I could figure out how to put this into my regular life. Cause I really don't need it. Not like don't need it. I don't even think about it. And I go, and it doesn't even appetize me. And you know, my, one of the things they want me to do, obviously,

is for drinking is very closely associated with my brand. I guess, whatever you'd say is they do these, they want to do these like 3000 people meet meetups on zoom where 3 000 people can come in and we'll have happy hour together and uh i would i would love to meet the 3 000 people but i don't know if i want to drink only because i'm like party all i can see is the depression after here's you ready want to hear i wrote this down all my joke books in there drew i went through remember we talked about treats yes i went through and listed all the things that are best for me so and it started with the third sip of coffee right never gets better

than the third sip of after the third sip of coffee you're chasing the drag in the rest of the day you're like right yeah so then I went through and I was like second beer last sip second beer last sip that's the best sip you're ever gonna get pizza 2 a.m right the first piece 2 a.m the first kiss i mean i listed all the shit i love and it was like and it and it was like amazing that it's about like, it's not about the vacation. It's about getting on the plane, getting a cocktail before you take off on vacation. I don't like the packing up to go home. I like the first kiss.

I like getting in her pants. I don't care about, I just, the, the getting in her pants part. Like I it's, that's the treat for me is the beginning. Cause then after that, you're just fucking racing Trying to get it back Yeah, like sometimes I had sex with leanne today. Shout out to b-man, but I had sex with leanne today. Yeah Congratulations. I I laid it down pretty good. But my point is I don't have a point I just wanted to say I had sex with my wife

But like at one point the dog got in the way Like the dogs get in the middle. And I was like, maybe I should stop here because this is actually better than the sex. The idea of having sex is better than the sex itself. Susan, they have two mastiffs. You think we have trouble with the dogs in the middle of sex? Oh, my God. Two gigantic monsters walking in.

If they want to get in the middle they're getting in the middle right oh oh it was and it was so subtle we were playing around we're fooling around it starts to happen right i start kissing her like stomach or whatever and all of a sudden the dog's laying in the bed and the dog's head just pops up like are we fucking this bitch we so yeah are we oh we're fucking this bitch oh shit let me get in on this i'll work the top you work the bottom please put that please put that in the next uh special the other joke you can't jerk off in front of a puppy because he just stares at you the whole time going, are you going to throw that stick or what? How did I get so far? Oh, do you know that most people's minds don't work like that?

Where they're that specific with their treats? No, of course it does. The third sip of coffee, the second beer last sip, 2 a.m. pizza first, the specificity that's ocd my friend that's oh it's beauty of not it's like turning the treadmill off is better than the workout turning the treadmill off and you go i did it like i there's i don't enjoy i don't i don't enjoy being let down by life. We've talked about this before.

You need so many treats. I don't know how you get five minutes without another treat. You're like my... Oh, I'm in... Yeah. You know what my treat is now? It's Kool-Aid inside a thermos with crushed ice. Nice. I love Kool-Aid, Drew.

That's like my new treat. Talk to Ray. What's up, Ray? Hey, guys. How's it going? Good. What's happening, Ray? I just had a question for Bert.

First of all, I was just listening to the Two Bears, 1K with you and Tom, and I think your Bits to Beats is a great idea, and you should definitely go for it. Bits to Beats is a great idea and you should definitely go for it. Bits to Beats, right? It's a brilliant idea. What, what, what, what? Tell us. Bart. I came up with the concept of Bits to Beats and so that is

us doing our old bits but putting them to hip-hop beats. So like, you know what cops hate? When you touch their faces. Long story, five different places. I'm in the car and I'm driving down the street. Cops pulls me over. Fucking flat feet.

He comes up to me and says, roll it down. I look at this guy and go, fuck this clown. I put my window down and he leans in. I fucked it up, but that's the point. Like, do your bits to a beat. That was a good one, by the way. Fucking shout out to the B-man. Ray, what's up?

Keep going, Ray. All right, here we go. I was just wondering, what are you doing to stay connected with people? Because I know you're with your family. I know you still do the podcast with Tom, but are you taking the Joey Diaz approach and just calling everybody and checking in on them? Are you doing more video calls?

I've been doing a lot of calling people I don't really talk to i've been doing that what are you doing are you yeah yeah i have been i'm wait i've called a few people i facetimed with a few people i like i love facetiming i love doing the group facetime like a zoom yeah but my texting has been pretty aggressive i text with rogan and joe probably like 15 times a day and ari will text um the last text we had were uh whether or not we should switch to edibles or not what but um wait smoking anything is bad for covet right you got that yeah i haven't smoked any weed okay good but i haven't even smoked cigars drew it's good it's good i mean you want to you got us look you want to stay as uh good a shape as you possibly can for this thing right if we get it although i gotta say i was looking at the data on california and it is ridiculously good they've

adjusted everything down again where the total hospital beds... Is this ventilators or ICO? They don't... I don't know if they have the total hospital beds, but they're looking at total beds... Are you expecting Illinois to get as bad as New York? Let's look at... If you don't mind, I'll look at the... With Chicago? Yeah, I know they're having a little issue there. Let me see what it looks like. One second. You know, he seems to have taken out the all...

Wait a minute. Maybe I'm not... Let me see if I can find all that. No, it looks actually pretty good. You already peaked according to this five days ago in terms of daily deaths and now you're at uh like 43 per day no it's looking pretty good with 1200 total let's kick this shit in the dick i know it's what we're doing i mean people should be congratulating themselves for how how an amazing what an amazing job we have done. I noticed when Dr. Burks was up at the podium at the White House one day, she was like, the community is what they're doing, what they're doing.

Like, they didn't expect us to do this. And we just didn't. So, are you asking how to maintain your relationships during COVID or how to stay in touch with people? Yeah, I was just mainly wondering what you guys are doing specifically. Because I know I've just been, I know my buddy, we talk, shout out to Nick, we watch the podcast every Monday when it comes out, and pretty much we just talk about the whole thing. We'll, you know, call each other. I've been trying to call people more, but yeah, I was just wondering what you guys were doing. And Ray, I have a note here from a previous call you made to us where you said your mom is compulsively cleaning in response to all this she's doing it she's doing okay whoops i'm sorry about that

ray did you hear all that yeah how's your mom doing yeah uh it's been kind of the same thing she's just been i mean we she's cleaned the bathroom about three or four times in the last you know couple days i think i don't know if it's a mixture of boredom or if it's an ocd thing but it's probably probably an anxiety thing i mean that some people will do that they'll clean clean clean clean clean in response to anxiety and that's kind of an ocd symptom you can relate burt just not that particular one we can relate we have we have uh safe places in my house where i know that no one's touched and my man cave is one of them i love it i love knowing no one's contaminated this area and you can just not have to worry about your hands i just think it's it's so interesting the way your anxiety just kind of resolved it's very interesting because

you were you were having a lot of it a couple weeks ago. I was bad, but when I talked to you, I was really, really bad. I don't know. I wonder sometimes if this is going to sound silly, but if all my problems are caused by drinking. Well, that's what I said. I say that the alcohol can really set off anxiety after you, both as you're using it as a strategy to regulate anxiety and then the whole withdrawal i mean you know anxiety is up for you know three or four days after you stop drinking like a lot yeah i i know i don't know um i'm curious to see like right now i am not counting but i'm 29 days not drinking right and so I wonder do I

part of me goes hey go as long as this quarantine goes and then see if you can fold it back in the way regular people do I think you've I've heard those words out of your mouth a few times like well it's either that or just go hard as fuck in the paint again

or just go hard as fuck in the pain again so well or just stop easy drew i i don't want to i'm really i'm out of line right let's talk to george yeah it's like you quit quitting doctoring you know like fair enough it's your means which is interesting that means your identity is tied up in it that's very interesting yeah my identity is tied up with a lot of things though if you're going to say that then my identity partly is masturbating i partly it's like there's certain things i'm just not going to quit doing because i enjoy them but here's the thing also is like i i love i don't i would never want to get rid of um that like feeling when when you're like uh i'm trying to think of a great example but like like you're having brunch

and someone goes i wouldn't mind a mimosa and you're like fuck a mimosa how about a bloody mary and they're like oh make it a double and you're like that feeling i don't ever want to get rid of treats treats again treats yeah okay let me see uh tryingool-Aid does not let down. Here's a comic that has a question for you, Bert. This is Ray. Hey, Bert. This is Ryan from Louisiana. Yeah, young comic here.

You know, just trying to ask for some tips and tricks on what can we do, you know, to get through this quarantine? You know, I've been doing comedy eight months now, and I haven't gone this long without holding a large black thing in my hand. You know, I feel like a cuckold's wife sometimes. You know, so what can we do to get creativity flowing? I will tell you, you know what I did the other day which was really fucking fun was i went on my computer and i just recorded this screen like it was a solo podcast and knowing no one would see it like a diary and i did 15 minutes and it was fucking fascinating now what happens is not when i'm on this but if I was to do a solo podcast that would

be out for air, I would be looking for the joke and trying to be funny. But it's almost like journaling. And so I think lack of getting on stage, a lot of you, a lot of, for me, what creativity it flows in the moment, like kind of like, like fight or flight, like just talking, not editing myself, just talking. And that was really fun. I did it. And then I thought, you know, I'm going to do really fun i did it and then i thought you know i'm gonna do this every day and then you know i'll find a bit in here eventually did you um that and then just writing like like literally just trying to see everything like and and now i'm because i'm not getting on stage i'm doing

what joe does where joe long form writes i say joe like everyone knows but joe has been a big advocate of like getting pen to paper getting on your computer and just writing about a subject and it's good i did it for my book and it's good because it really does kind of allow you um to kind of vine swing from idea to idea and get to places but find the the way that you write the fastest. For me, what was fun about recording it talking is that I talk faster than I write. There you go, Ryan.

Alright, buddy. Good luck, brother. Thank you. Keep it high and tight. Let's talk to Owen, who has a diabetes question. Owen, go ahead. Hi. This is actually just for context.

I'm 17, and I'm type 1 diabetic. Okay. And I'm the only one in the house with my mom, and she has MS. Oh, boy. And I just want to know, like, what are things that I can do to help, like, my sugar, my blood sugar, and kind of the overall health of my household during this? Well, obviously, your mom is at high risk. You're at risk, too, and she needs to be quarantined. It would be ideal if you could be as well. What are you doing now? How are you monitoring your diabetes?

Well, I check it around 13 times a day. I do manual checking and insulin injections. Do you have a long-acting insulin also, or just use short-acting insulin. Do you have a long-acting insulin also or just all short-acting? Yeah. I take Novolog and Traceeba for long-acting. Got it. And is your sugar well-controlled?

Yeah, I've had diabetes for four years. And so, I mean, there's a lot of learning curve but i definitely have in the past like three and a half years really cracked down on it so i'm not worried about that i'm just worried about like when if if the um if i do get sick like what would happen up and down? No, no, no, don't worry about that. They might even put you on an insulin infusion. They're very accustomed to taking care of diabetics with medical problems. That's sort of standard care.

Don't worry about that. The key is for you as a long-term issue with your diabetes to keep that glucose tightly controlled so you don't have any of the main complication, of course, of diabetes is what's called micropathic. It's a microangiopathic process where the small blood vessels get destroyed and that affects your kidney and your eye and your heart and your brain too. And so you just don't want any of that to happen. And if your sugars are well controlled, your risks as it pertains to COVID should be relatively low, relatively low. Thank you all. And then Jordan, you want to know when gyms will open up? Yeah, I was just a little curious. If we took extra precautions

with masks and with, you know, obviously being extra careful and like wiping things down. Will that help accelerate the process to get those opened up? Or are gyms just kind of a no-go for a very long time at this point? Yeah. Bert, do you have an opinion about that? No. It's hard to tell, right? I mean, first of all, we're going to have technology, right? So soon we should have more testing and more identification and isolation of people with this thing. But in terms of environments where people congregate and fluids can be exchanged, I mean, gym is a pretty high risk environment. So I don't know, you know, if you wore masks and or wore gloves, you know, it depends on, you can maintain social isolation in a gym, but you're going

to have to wipe down with Clorox everything you use. So I don't know. To me, that seems like a somewhat risky environment. You'd have to take temperature of everybody that walked in. I think you'd have to see probably the test. If everyone is in there is antibody positive, then there's no reason people couldn't go into a gym. But I don't know if we're going to get to that point.

Are we going to get to that point? That's a great question, Drew. Are we going to get to a point where there's a newfound racism, where it's the people who haven't had it versus the people who've had it? Is that technically racism? Or is it virism? What are we going to call that? I guess it's, I don't know. It's virus-ist. I'm a virus-ist? Yeah, you're a virus-ist. It's going to be like Sneetches or something. It's going to be weird when people because our phones are going to go off if we're near somebody

and I don't know how they're going to balance the privacy and freedom issues. In other words, I can see a day where let's say the phone knows you're negative, somebody within 300 yards is positive and your phone just goes off and you know what I mean you are blowing my mind right now they're designing something like that right

that's what's going to happen or you'll be able to see clusters of people who have antibody positivity so there'd be high degree of herd immunity in certain areas so it's going to be a really interesting psychology I mean not just psychology but technology that's crazy they should do that for everything like you just turn on your buzzer and be like herpes buzz if someone has her hey Siri buzz if someone has herpes well it's interesting that you could deal with infectious disease that way. Again, it's balancing out privacy versus health. Here is Russell wants to ask Bert something here. Russell, go ahead. Oh, hey, Drew.

How are you? Hey, man. What's up? Not much. I was just curious how Bert deals with sharing so much personal information on his podcast. I really appreciate it as a fan. It's been great to watch his interaction with his wife and daughters and stuff, but sometimes it gets extremely personal.

And I was just curious if that causes him any trouble off the air. Like, for instance, when you're talking about having sex with your wife and the dog jumping in today yeah i don't know i don't know another way to do it it's like it's like uh you know you ever you ever um i don't know it i the only way i ever did comedy was like to be like an open and honest book about what i about my life and then and then by the way this was happening before social media was as big so then social media and my career kind of matched at the same time where everyone was like man bert talks about his wife or bert talks about his kids oh my god this is what they look like shut the up like this is them well they seem like they're happy like and i think

i think it's been a source of people connecting with me as an artist but i think there's also people like there's a lot of a lot of uh women have always come out and said like i feel i feel horrible for your children that they have to be your child and you're like oh whatever what are you gonna do they get braces right fuck them no no let me right yeah no let me clarify it makes it definitely makes me as a fan feel more connected and i think it actually helps me with my like daily interactions and it's not that kind of stuff that i'm talking about it's more like the beginning of one of your podcasts you were talking with your daughter and your wife about some kind of interaction and how it made you feel like

you felt like you weren't being heard. And you guys are having like serious family discussions, you know, with millions of people watching. I thought that was, it was just very cool. Oh, I will. Yeah, I don't, like I said, I appreciate it. And thank you for enjoying it as, as, as much as you may enjoy it. There are people who don't enjoy it who think i'm a horrible human being i don't like i said i don't know another way to do it and i'm such an open book look i mean part of the fun i mean one of the most vulnerable vulnerable i've ever been was when i did

a podcast with drew and leanne and in a weird way it was like what's good for the goose is good for the gander i've been talking shit about leananne on comedy specials and podcasts for years. And then all of a sudden, she gets an opportunity to kind of voice herself. And I... There were things that she was saying where I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't put this in the act. In my head. But then I was like, I've been doing this to her. She got...

It's kind of bizarre. I don't know. I... It's funny. That whole pod, what struck me is we both started talking about you. Me and Leanne started talking about you and Tom. And you were like, don't you hear what Tom says? What is wrong with him? You remember that?

Yeah. Oh, my God. It's bizarre. And I don't know. I wish I, like, trust me, like Burr and Rogan don't really talk about their families at all. And Daniel Tosh, you don't know anything about him. Dane Cook, you don't know anything about him. Tom, for the most part, is very private with his family.

And maybe I wish I had started that way, but I kind of did it the way I did it, and now it's like putting toothpaste back in the tube. You know, Christina, whatever Tom doesn't spell, Christina fills out the rest. So it goes to a similar place, right? Yeah. But, hmm, I just, I'm hearkening back to when I first met you, you know, and you're, you know, I feel like I discovered the machine. And the machine story was a very personal story, right? You were just telling me what happened.

I don't know. Yeah, like I've never been good at writing jokes like stand-up, set-up, punch. And so I've just been good at telling stories that happened. And so like sometimes I've been burned because a lot of times i'll tell a story that is really fucking funny and i don't realize the person involved um has feelings about that story at all and not necessarily my family but like i just don't see i like almost like seen see no prisoners type thing where i just start telling the story and then all of a sudden that person's like hey man can like i'll give you a perfect example yeah i got i got cheated on when i was when i was in russia i got cheated on uh by my girlfriend at the time and my best friend

and i ended up getting the clap now i used to just straight up say their names but but that was like in a weird way that was my truth right like that was my truth like why wouldn't like why wouldn't i share my truth i'm the one that got hurt and then one day i was laying in bed and i thought i've said this poor girl's name a million times i don't i haven't spoken to her in 20 years probably i guess i've said her name a million times. I haven't spoken to her in 20 years, probably, I guess. I've said her name a million times. And then all of a sudden, I was like, I bet she has a recollection of that time period that's different than mine. And why am I saying that mine's the absolute truth?

Mine's what I remember. And there's a lot of emotions involved. And I was like, I should definitely stop saying her name. And I should definitely stop saying his name because I talk to him now and he doesn't mind it like he's cool with it but i should definitely just stop saying people's names and then maybe i should stop telling the story because i don't all of a sudden it was just like a weird way of like i was i was trying to share that if people got the clap you didn't have to feel like you were dirty and so then i just kind of was like and and by the way that is like half of it

i got right when i wrote my book this girl hit me up she was like hey i heard i got a shout out in your book and i was like oh boy hey and then the next test was i guess i was a whore and i was like sorry let me uh bernie take a quick break and uh we'll come back and finish things up all right hang on one second i We'll be right back. Well, I'm very focused on how to stay healthy these days, but we've not been talking about hydration. If you get coronavirus, flu, or even experience allergies, cold, a variety of everyday ailments, they all need hydration.

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Bert Kreischer at Bert Kreischer, BertBertBert.com. And Bert, we were talking about the machine. Mary wants to talk about the machine. Maybe she's the girl you told the story about while you were out there robbing the train. Mary, what's up? Hey, Dr. Drew, this is Mary. That's not quite accurate. I was not on that train but i do have a

question for burke about yeah about his russian about the machine story so when you were telling everyone that your nickname you say i'm the machine were you were you going i also majored in russian did you uh i don't speak it very well but if you were were you going in there were you saying yeah machina was that the word you used or was it also much were you saying machina because for me this is more like uh i think this word is more used for like a car am i correct is it funny so i'm wondering was it funny to these guys on the train because you're going around saying I'm the car I'm the vehicle, you know what? I mean like I had When I was in Russia study abroad where I was going around asking for an ATM going like you deal off so much You know like off the mat like but which like means a little bit more like machine gun. So that's a little bit, I was just curious.

That's actually really funny. Which one do you want? Do you want a machine gun or what the? I need a machine gun. Anyone get me a machine gun or a submarine? Right, right. Well, what were you doing? What were you saying? I'll tell you exactly what I was saying.

Yamashina? So, by the way, my Russian is worse than your Russian. What I was trying to say was Я машину, which means I'm the man, right? Okay. Мужчина. Мужчина. I was trying to say мужчина. I am the man, which is super makes sense.

And instead I said Я машина, which means I'm a car. And Igor heard that and he said, huh? And I just said it again. And then he started laughing and he said, and then he said to me, oh, you're the machine. And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or whatever translation and brought me in the room. I said it again. And then I just kept saying it.

And so then it just turned into, and I don't know how it turned into the machine as much as what i was trying to say was your machine and so it turned in he's the machine right yeah well they probably knew you were trying to say that they got the pun right i guess i i mean there's a lot by the way there's a lot of unpacking to do in that story, and especially to anyone that lived in Russia or knows Russian, is you can understand all the nuances of

just the fact that they don't really have slang, per se, because of communism. So the fact that you would come in and try to talk in slang would be so confusing to them. They didn't really have jokes right right no there was i mean you the whole point of this is what igor said to me was what he found funny about me was in russia you were very clear with your words because you didn't want to be

misconstrued because if you were misconstrued you get a knock on the door in the middle of the night and they'd take you out yeah so you were very clear with your words so i remember i remember the i learned how to say fat guy in a little coat because uh tommy boy just come out and i and i was doing it and it just didn't make the idea that none of it made sense to them i used to say uh uh which means you know what i'm saying because that's what the rappers said and they were like yes we know what you're saying like they were like i don't yeah we know what I'm saying? Because that's what the rappers said and they were like, yes, we know what you're saying like they were like, I don't yeah We know what you just said Yeah, why guys cuz we know he said so something like, you know, you know, you close guys

I work pussy and they were like you you fuck cats Did my favorite my favorite part of the machine story is imagining how those Russian people reacted to you. Like, knowing Russians and knowing how you might have come off to them just as someone who's willing to, like, drink and go the distance. Like, I imagine you were very well received during your time there. You know what's really interesting is one day, you know, I didn't really have to go to class. I went to class a lot, but I didn't have to,

cause they, the, the mobsters kind of ran our school. And so I say mobsters, you should know that you can find pictures of them online. They looked of me and them. They looked just like, just unstylish dudes.

And so they, uh, one time Igor Pitt took me out of class uh because we were hungover we've been partying the night before and we went and had drinks in the morning and he was and i told i bragged that i had done cocaine and thinking he was think that's cool and he was not cool with it he was like what's wrong with you why would you do that you're ruining your life like he gave me a speech and i was like you're in the mob don't you suck cocaine like what the fuck he's in the mob and he's drinking with you morning and night yeah i miss those buzzes

he's a stylish russian is that what you said were you in st peter's burg or uh that were you in st petersburg or uh were you in st petersburg yeah we were in st petersburg that's a beautiful city isn't that it's amazing oh it's fucking especially during the white nights me too man me too i was there also it's a crazy beautiful city you sound like someone who would be cool to party with dude i'd love to party with you come to indiana we'll hang out anytime my friend i will i died i would love i she seems like someone that's like you'd like i'm not saying like obviously i'm married but she'd be someone like a cool chick where you say okay let's go back to my house you're at a bar and you're like cool she packs

a bowl and then she's like okay have you seen ever seen the movie the tv show my so-called life and you're like no and she's like all right we're watching every episode tonight you're like shut up jordan calci droney do you know um yakov smirnoff regaled me with some history his history at one point and he was saying he was i hope i get the story, but he was asked to be a comedian or sort of a host on a cruise ship. And because he made people laugh, he was fired. Isn't that crazy? In Russia? Yeah, because he made people laugh.

And so the people running the ship thought they came to him and said, hey, do you think you're better than everybody else because you can make them laugh? You're the same as everyone you're fired isn't that interesting i would love to be in that comedy paradigm life where they're like no just be as funny as everyone in the room you're like so just be mediocre okay no not mediocre yeah just be bad that's don't don't try to entertain because that means you get elevated in the room and no one could stand up from anybody else. I would love that. I would love that. That could be so much worse than the audience. All right. All right, here we go. Let's try this one.

Frank says this is not a joke. Frank, go ahead. Hey, Dr. Drew, Bert Kreischer. Thank you for having me. Big fans of both of you. Just a little preface. I'm a hairy guy, so I got a hairy crack. As I'm sure you know, Bert, like shooting through a colander, it's not fun.

I tried to use a scented wipe on it and it gave me an infection on my ass scratch that uh it's pretty much just like a rash and it hurts and it burns and so hold on the last place i want to go right now is a hospital because uh obviously coronavirus and also yeah so this is what carola calls getting the peanut butter out of the shag carpet, Bert. So, but what he, is it at 12 o'clock or is it something sort of closer to where the action is at like a three or nine? Wait, I'm so confused. Wait, explain your clock, Drew. wait I'm so confused wait if you're looking at the sphincter 12 o'clock is

straight up 3 o'clock is a quarter of the way 9 o'clock is on the other side so then 6 o'clock would be your ass crack would be the taint it's like a it's pretty much down the whole

thing so the whole thing. So the whole thing is irritated. Correct. So hot baths and hydrocortisone cream. Just plain old over-the-counter hydrocortisone, 1% and hot baths. And know that there's several different things that can happen. One, you can get what's called a pilonidal cyst, which is a little abscess at 12 o'clock, common.

You can also get fistulas and or fissures in that area. And those are a little more problem to treat. So if it's just an irritation, hot baths and hydrocortisone. You probably learned more about that region just now, Bert, than you ever wanted to know. So, Drew. Yes. Once he's better, can he maybe get it lasered? No, no, no.

Oh, the hair? And to make it less hairy? I don't have an opinion about that. I mean, I've had mine lasered. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. Bert, how about you? I shave. you thank you for sharing bird how about you uh i shave i have had massive problems with the hair

on my ass cheeks only because they tie in a knot sometimes from cheek to cheek and they hold your ass shut they like reach out and hold hands and they keep your ass yeah like a like a like a span bringing two continents together i gave Leanne my knife one time. I was like, yo, cut me. She's like, what? I was like, cut me. I need to split. This is the first time my daughter has ever sold my dick, by the way. I

then, because she said no, and then I grabbed my clippers, and I was like, you're not getting out of this. So I grabbed a double Tito's and soda. We're in Fiji. We're in Bali. And I get my clippers and I lay on the bed like a baby, Drew. I got my feet in the air and I'm going, shave babies, asshole. Shave babies, asshole.

Do you understand? I didn't even hear the girls come in. I just heard dad's vagina. Do you understand this is the machine number two? I've discovered something here. Another machine story. Do you understand? This story should be your opener from now on.

That's going on stage, everybody. It needs to. I'm telling you. I'm sure there's a lot of detail. Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of detail in it. I'll bring you back tomorrow and tell it again. Those of you who don't know, that's what I made him do when i heard the machine story the first time on the radio i made him come back the next night and tell the story again i did right is that what happened right yeah i came back the very next night and i told it i think exactly the same yes

it was and you were like that needs to be your you said that is your that is your movie and i went oh good luck and then sure enough we sold it as a movie oh my gosh well your poor daughters um they're gonna need like trauma therapy after all um their their childhood they seem great though man they they they're very well-rounded you know i think in our house we're very we're very open we're very open. We're very like, we goof around a lot and we giggle so much. And by the way, we're also really, really close. And that's Leanne. That's not me. That's Leanne. Leanne is like yesterday morning. We had breakfast together. We had, we had lunch dinner every single night together and we've been watching movies and it was, I don't know, man. I love them. I love being around them. I'm having so much fun with them.

That's fine. I think it's because I've spent my whole adult life on the road. Ari, go ahead. Ari, is that the right name? Oh, hi, guys. There you are. What's up? That was a scary call. No, different. I would know better.

What's up? No, different, Ari. Love both of you all. I watch BurtCast all the time. I saw Dr. Drew was on there like a week or two ago. And you all were talking about anxiety. Totally realized, Burt, after you were talking about your anxiety, how much I have. You were talking about when leanne thought you

were cheating on her and you started to believe it yourself i do that too you did that too oh that's an ocd thing no no like i i also totally can start to believe false things that I know completely aren't true. Or how you have these fake conversations in your head or scenarios and you build them up so much and then you really believe it's happening. That happens to me about every single day. And I didn't even notice it wasn't a normal thing until you brought it up um so thank you for that um no no no i gotta be honest with you one of the greatest things in the world is to know that someone else has something and you're not the only one that's got it that's right it's it's very it's a it's a yeah it's a relief to know that. It definitely is. It's very comforting.

It's also alarming, or it's not alarming, shocking that I do this all the time and it just seems normal. Well, how old are you? What? I'm 26. All right. And so anxiety kicks in about 18 to 22. So people really start to feel it. Panic can be a part of the deal too. Mood disturbances can fold into it. And they're highly treatable. You just got to get treatment for it. There's, if you want, there's a book called Dare. It's really more geared towards panic, but it's about

sort of leaning into your anxiety a little bit. There's cognitive behavioral therapies. There are emotionally focused therapies. There's a lot of ways to manage that out there, but you've got to do the work. Or maybe you're meant to be a comedian. Try writing. I really, I. Sorry, what did you say? You said you should be a comedian.

I said, yeah, maybe you're just meant to be a comedian. Try writing comedy. I would love to be a comedian. Interesting. I said, if I did, what would you, how would I even start doing that? Well, don't get on stage now. I guess that's a bad time to start comedy is in the middle of a pandemic. Right.

Just, you sound cute as a button. So I don't just, I don't know. As soon as you said that, I thought I got to write a good crowd. You sound cute as a button, so... I don't just... I don't know. As soon as you said that, I thought, I got to write a joke about that because I talk about it, and I talk about it, and I talk about it only because I want people that go through that same...

I'm hoping people go through the same shit I go through. And almost like I throw out a fucking... Like a message in a bottle out into the ocean going, please, someone read that and go, oh, I did that shit too, because I go, I thought i was crazy out of my fucking mind so maybe i'll write a bit about it but i don't know when this clears up go try again on stage maybe take all your broken parts and see if they connect with other people's broken parts i mean it it when it has yeah when it has a name and what has a process to it and it just it just

brings it down a notch you know when it's something name and what has a process to it, it just brings it down a notch. You know, when it's something you know other people have to manage, you don't feel broken or alone, and it's got a biology attached. It's something you can understand. And because anxiety is about fear, it reduces the fear. Understanding reduces the fear. Okay, let me get a couple more things in here, Bert, and we'll wrap up in a minute here. I'm sorry if we don't get to all of your calls.

Here, I want to get to this one. I don't think we talked to Emily. Have we talked to you yet? No, Emily. Hi, Dean. I first wanted to thank you for all the entertainment during this quarantine period. It's been great being trapped with all the podcasts.

Great. I actually had a question about COVID. I tested positive for it on March 25th, and I'm on day 23 of not being able to taste or smell anything. Is that the only symptom? Is that your only symptom, or did you get sick also? I had a fever, but that was about it. And how long were you sick for? I don't currently.

I was sick for about in total two weeks. I can't return to work until I haven't had Tylenol for 72 hours or so. Right. So the loss of smell and taste thing... I was wondering if that's possible to be permanent. And also if Bert had any ideas about benefits of being in this predicament.

So far, the only one... By the way, I do. You definitely need to get a job at a slaughterhouse. What did she say? I stepped on it. What did you say, Emily? Oh, the best benefit so far is I can't smell my partner's lethal breath. Ah, so good.

You're protective from your male partner. Well, here's the deal. I'm not aware of anyone having permanent loss of taste and smell, though I wouldn't be surprised if it does happen. But certainly lots of this as a hallmark symptom of the coronavirus. In fact, some people only have this symptom and no other. But I don't have a clear sense of when it comes back. But if I were guessing, it'd be like four to six weeks, that kind of thing. And it's quite distressing for people because food doesn't taste right you just you lose your appetite right oh yeah i've got lots of soup that's just like eating hot water

awful and you need to michael hutchins yeah the lead singer of nxs got punched in the head knocked out and he lost his sense of taste and smell, and he ended up killing himself for it. Over that? You think? I don't think it was auto-erotic asphyxiation, but I don't know.

I don't know all the ins and outs of details of stories. Thank you. That sounds a little better. This is a great time to be a lead performer in scat videos. You mean with the anosmia bert i appreciate you coming by people shit on you and piss on you this is the best show ever oh good all right the producer's happy the the i'm looking at the restream everyone's happy you know i love you bert you brought you brought some joy i love you too and otherwise sort of uh I don't want to say this is bleak,

but the people are getting frustrated and tired and depressed and anxious. And I will just tell you guys that the COVID numbers, the University of Washington adjusted everything down, all the data down, like as I said they would. But in California, it looks amazing. Amazing. The U.S. at large, hard to know where we are quite with the data such as it is they can it's going to be one more data point in about three days before we really know what the

overall country situation is but california congratulations i mean to me i mean let me just put it this way uh by may let me let me double check this i think by the first week of may we are down to like five cases in the entire state of California. There we are. By May 11th, we are at six. May 13th, we're at 50 cases in the entire state of California amongst 40 million people, 50 cases. We should be able to identify, isolate, and protect against those 50 people humbly. The other 40 million should be okay to go to work.

So we'll see. We'll see what happens with that. Bert, thank you for cleansing our palate and giving us a little fun and spending time with us. I really enjoy the time. You know what? When I think of this quarantine,

I'm going to think about you because I've spent more time with you probably than anybody else. And it's been all, whether it's on here, whether it's at your place or hey, whether it's on here, whether it's at your place or hey, big boy, or here, whatever it is,

you have enriched me during this whole thing. So thank you for that. I love you, Drew. Anytime, man. I'm here. I got nothing else to do. I'm not going anywhere.

All right. Well, soon enough you will be, but not just yet. So, all right, Bert, thank you so much. It's Bert Kreischer. It's at Bert Kreischer at BertBertBert.com and BertCast.

And are you guys saying anything back there? Is everybody good? Susan, you want to say goodbye to Bert? Oh, thank you so much, Bert, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank Leanne, too. Drew's going to read some outros when you go.

All right. All right, bye, Bert. Okay. Say hi to Leanne. I love you guys. Bye. All right, wrapping up another show. Be sure to go to drdrew.com, get all the other podcasts and the live streams that we do there.

You can find Dr. After Dark, I do it with Christina P. and Tom Segura at your mom's house. Also, Adam Kroll and I have a podcast every day or three times a week or sometimes five times a week, The Adam and Drew Show and the Dr. Drew Podcast. Also, don't forget that this show, we put a blast out of drdrew.tv if you sign up there. And lastly, we're trying to do daily streams, The Dose of Drew, where we are available at facebook.com slash drdrew or at drdrewperiscope channel or youtube.com slash drdrew. Mixer, Twitch, all simultaneously.

And we're trying to just sort of put a community out there during this time of social distancing and highlight various charities and the work that they're doing. Also, I'm the local correspondent for Fox 11 in Los Angeles following TMZ and right before Extra Weekdays at 7. Me and Alex Michelson get together and really recoup, you know, just really go over the stories of the day as it pertains to coronavirus. We're going to be talking to Dr. Galley today from the L.A. County Department of Health and I look forward to that very much. And we will bring you...

That's on Facebook, too. It's also on Facebook. Fox LA Live. Fox LA, that's right. And then, Susan, are we going to take a couple days off this week from the daily stream, do you know? Oh, I don't know. Caleb can come in maybe. I'm going to come in and do it.

We'll do it some. All right. We'll try to do it. We're not going to probably do it every day this week. As I said, I don't have a lot to update you on because this data looks amazing. It looks really good right now, particularly in California. It just looks like we've smashed it. I mean, you'll really look at the graphs here from covid19.healthdata.org. The United States at

large, though, it looks hard to make a full- And you can catch up on Fox LA. Assessment, yeah. Via the internet. It's going to be a couple more days. 7 to 8 p.m. Pacific time. Looks like it's going to be a couple more days before we really kind of see where we are in the country. On can tell you out clinically though that people are having great success with treatment right now. Various creative treatment modalities for the cytokine storm. We talked to a doctor about that in one of the daily doses. Hydroxychloroquine is showing great

promise and also the remdesivir, the essentially Ebola medication, had two-thirds of people getting better on that medication. So all those kinds of therapeutics should start to come to bear on hospitalization, ICU utilization, and the projected death rate. But I'm looking forward to that looking good. I was hoping today it looks good in California. It's hard to predict in some of the other states, though, where things are still playing out.

So thank you all on the restream. I see all your comments there. Oh, somebody wants to hear about Nevada. Let me see what Nevada is doing. Oh, God. People always start asking for these things as I start wrapping up. What about Nevada? I know.

I want to go back to Vegas. Nevada got an upgrade. Nevada is looking much better right now. They brought down the number of cases considerably. The deaths per day are peaking in six days, but even now they're only at like about nine cases per day. So Nevada's looking pretty good. Your total deaths are going to be about 270,

maybe something like that, 260. So we'll see. That's looking pretty good. I'm still worried about Massachusetts and Connecticut where things are kind of still playing out. But overall, congratulations for the hard work everyone's done in getting this thing under control. It's looking really, really, really good. Somebody named Damayanti Cunningham sent an email. Okay.

I think I know what that is. I'm not sure. I'll look for it. About? Something about research on a vaccine. Okay. Well, the vaccine research goes on, and it's going to be 12 to 18 months on that. But I am hearing lots of really good things about that.

If we can get that to 12 months, it'd be pretty amazing. Oh, I know. We need one. But then we're going to have everybody fighting who don't want to take it. Well, that's a different issue. I know. We have one. But then we're going to have everybody fighting who don't want to take it. Well, that's a different issue. I know. We have new issues every day. All right. Thank you guys for joining us, and hopefully we'll see you tomorrow. Ask Dr. Drew is produced by Caleb Nation and Susan Pinsky. Today's call screener is Lindsay K. Floyd.

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