Ask Dr. Drew - Ask Dr. Drew - Jason Ellis - Episode 4

Episode Date: January 8, 2020

Jason Ellis – author, athlete, podcaster and Sirius XM radio host channel 103 – joins Dr. Drew to discuss bisexuality, sobriety, marriage, and to answer questions from callers. Talks about his book Still Awesome and how it has been since his coming out.  Missed the live show? Get an alert next time Dr. Drew is taking calls: http://drdrew.tv Ask Dr. Drew is produced by Kaleb Nation (@KalebNation) and Susan Pinsky (@FirstLadyOfLove). THE SHOW: For over 30 years, Dr. Drew Pinsky has taken calls from all corners of the globe, answering thousands of questions from teens and young adults. To millions, he is a beacon of truth, integrity, fairness, and common sense. Now, after decades of hosting Loveline and multiple hit TV shows – including Celebrity Rehab, Teen Mom OG, Lifechangers, and more – Dr. Drew is opening his phone lines to the world by streaming LIVE from his home studio in California. On Ask Dr. Drew, no question is too extreme or embarrassing because the Dr. has heard it all. Don’t hold in your deepest, darkest questions any longer. Ask Dr. Drew and get real answers today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Warning. I've got this condition where I don't feel pain. You're a superhero! No! If this is how intense Novocaine sounds... Oh wow! Imagine how it looks. Is there more?

Yeah, big time. Novocaine. Only in theaters March 14th. Our laws as it pertains to substances are draconian and bizarre. A psychopath started this way. He was an alcoholic. Because of social media and pornography, PTSD, love addiction, fentanyl and heroin. Psychopaths start this way. He was an alcoholic because of social media and pornography, PTSD, love addiction, fentanyl and heroin. Ridiculous. I'm a doctor for f*** sake. Where the hell do you think I learned that? I'm just saying, you go to treatment before you kill people.

I am a clinician. I observe things about these chemicals. Let's just deal with what's real. We used to get these calls on Loveline all the time. Educate adolescents and to prevent and to treat. If you have trouble, you can't stop, and you want help stopping, I can help. I got a lot to say. I got a lot more to say. The great Jason Ellis. Yay. Hey, man.

Thank you for being here. Appreciate it. It's great to be here. We get a lot of questions when we're live. The phone lines really fill up. It's one of my regrets, and they're very full right now, that I can you for being here. Appreciate it. It's great to be here. We get a lot of questions when we're live. The phone lines really fill up. It's one of my regrets, and they're very full right now, that I can't get to everybody. But one of the ways to get ahead of the line is to text, if you have a great question, 9842-DR-DREW, 9842-373739, anytime during the week.

And then also sign up at drdrew.tv, and you'll be pushed ahead of the line when the blast comes out that way. Is that correct, guys? Am I getting that properly? Good. And again, sign up via email, but the best option is with your phone number too because those alerts are quick and easy. Jason Ellis' new book is called Still Awesome.

Of course, you can hear him on SiriusXM. If you don't know Jason, I don't know why you don't. Faction, were you off Faction for a minute, or did they try to change your channel? No, they gave me a channel, which was a lie. It was like one of those things where the big boss says a bunch of stuff to get you to leave the talk, the music channel, because I didn't want to leave

the music channel, because I had myself a little thing there that I'd built by myself. I was quite proud of it. And the name had been officially changed to Faction with Jason Ellis. So you know when you get your name on something, you try to keep it. Well, not only that, it was like I thought I associated that channel with the way I associate Stern's channel with his channel. I mean, that's the way it was for me.

Well, things aren't the same. They used to, you know, when you're a champion of radio back in his day then you got the world and now it's still fine I got stuff just I don't get

I don't get like whatever the hell he got and that's fine but I think I moved to faction talk they said we'll call it faction talk oh I see because you're the talker of faction

and we'll move it there and you'll be in charge of the entire thing. And then when I got there, I realized that it was really just the Opie and Anthony channel, and they put me on with these other dudes that used to be on the Opie and Anthony show. Uh-oh. And I just moved to a channel where everybody hated me. Really? Yeah, man.

And then I didn't know this. They charged everybody on Faction Music an extra $5 a month if they wanted to listen to Faction talk. Uh-oh. Yeah. And then they wouldn't put me on in the morning, and that was the whole reason I moved to be morning, prime time, West Coast Drive. It weirdly makes me want to come over there and join you

and create a block that we can defend. I would love that, man. Like I said, I thought I had a channel, but I don't have anything to say. How many hours do you go now? Just three. there and join you and like create a block that we could love that man but i like i said i thought i had a channel but i don't how many hours you go now just three and then they do the replay right after it so i'm uh west coast afternoon drive into east coast afternoon drive which was the second best time slot i could get which once again proves that it ain't my channel i like you better in the midday than morning personally i do too yeah. And some of my staff really don't want to get up in the morning. Which one?

Kevin Kraft, who doesn't have children and doesn't understand what it is to just wake up in the morning and do stuff. Lazy bastard. He's not lazy. He's just not a – I feel like if you haven't had kids, then you think morning is really difficult to achieve. Oh, yeah, no. In fact, I think of mornings now, go how don't i do that i was i must have been going at

six or right just right getting the kids up and going to stuff jesus yeah i still can't shake it how are your kids they're awesome yeah yeah i just got back from hawaii they're awesome your daughter is coming into like adulthood yeah yeah i'm a little bit worried about that you know she's into some really i mean it's it's supposed to come this way look at me yeah yeah i'm a little bit worried about that you know she's into some really i mean it's it's supposed to come this way look at me yeah yeah like she is into really crazy gangster rap like really hardcore stuff where the lyrics are do you do you uh bring it up to her oh yeah no i've said really that's that's your jam and she's like what and i'm like you think i don't understand like i know it was fast but i i understood what that lady's saying you running that game she's like

no and i'm like okay so i mean you know that there's stds everywhere and she's like i'm not having sex and i'm like okay i can't tell if you're telling the truth or not so i'm gonna gonna respect what you're saying until I catch it. You're right. I'm like, just remember, that's all I keep saying. I'm like, look, it could be good, but you could get pregnant, and you could get a permanent STD, and there's mega herpes. I lied.

I add ones. There's ones that never go away. You don't know. You're not a doctor. You can get away with it. Right, right. I'll make up that you made it up. You're like, Dr. Drew told me that you will die of herpes. There's a new one that's come out that kills instantly. Well, then you get encephalitis from it. You get meningitis, right. I'll make up that you made it up. Dr. Drew told me that you will die of herpes.

There's a new one that's come out that kills instantly. Well, you get encephalitis from it. You get meningitis, really. But how old is she now? 14. Yeah, yeah. She doesn't make out. She doesn't have a boyfriend, but she has guy friends.

And my main problem is her phone. I really don't know what to do with that. My friends that are psychologists that work in that area will not let their kids have the screens like an hour a day because i can i can see it we're going to look at that the way the way we think about tobacco now i feel like i'm watching my child smoke yeah because it yeah like the i mean i was on vacation for a week and every time we ate i had to say hey hey and then i'd watch her look at it she put it down and look at it i'm like you're still thinking about it you haven't you don't

even have to have it in your hand now she has this weird walk where she holds it this hand stays upright so she talks to people while she's walking it's real bad i gotta talk to her mom about it actually it's like one of those things that you don't notice because you're divorced and you when she's with me we do stuff yeah vacation it was like let's just do whatever we want and i'm like that's what she wanted whoa i'm like you are real then she argued with me about how she's not addicted to it i'm like is mom on it on top of it no concerned no i think we're we're gonna have i just got back yesterday so i think we're about to have a really gnarly conversation about gym time and and phone it's gonna be bad i'm really not looking forward to it because i know that she's gonna hate me for it your your daughter or your ex-wife my daughter yeah my ex-wife can do whatever the hell she wants she's always been able to do what the

hell she wants i'm just happy to be here and And gym time, what do you mean by that? I think my daughter needs to start working out, whether she likes it or not. She's got a bad diet. I need to change that. I feel like I've kind of let her live a life where I'm starting to see some things where I'm like, you know what, let's try and rectify this before I have no control at all.

I think that's smart. We'll see how that goes, though, because I've already had a couple phone conversations. I didn't want to do it on vacation, but we had some arguments at dinner where i was like you i'm not i mean as a as a witness i stay in a room next to you every morning i get up and you're on it you got that weird to do this thing where they do it like this true they'd have this in the morning yeah they just they know their neck is cranked into their own chest and they just do that or

the kids when they have lunch they look at it under the table like that. Like they're really, it's this new thing. And then you take photos and you put your hand over your face just a little bit to hide any of the things, any of the blemishes that you might have a problem with because you're an insecure 14-year-old. They all just hang out with each other doing this part. Oh, let me just cover this bit. Uh-oh.

Yeah. Ew. Yeah, gangster rap. All right. Beverly Hills. They're from this part. Let me just cover this bit. Uh-oh. Yeah. Ew. Yeah, gangster rap. All right. Beverly Hills. They're from Beverly Hills. Gangsters. That's where she's living now?

Yeah, that's why I live near. I hate this. I want to... You want to go to California? No, no. I always go to the water. There's almost no one I talk to that's not interested in thinking about getting out of California.

I like the water. Yeah. So I would go there, but my kids would be like would be like dad really 45 minutes or an hour and a half to school in the morning they wouldn't be happy with that right so i'd take the hit so australia's on fire yeah i've been trying to ignore it yeah as your fan you're they're fine yeah they're not in the bush and they're in melbourne so it's well i don't know if i believe the maps i see where like so the fire is the whole it looks like the whole continent is Melbourne so it's well I don't know if I believe the maps I see so the fire it looks like the whole

continent is on fire it's just big fires like we have here right well it's I don't know I'm not there I don't know I sound like I should know

but I really don't know anything not really I mean I have I've just started to sort of talk to the family again we've patched things up after the

whole father molestation thing that was that little thing yeah that little thing kind of rocked the boat so so do you mind getting into that a little bit i don't mind this all right so hold on i'm i am an open book i'm looking yes i'm still a carnivore people are asking uh you are right yeah i'm still doing that how's your ass it's all been great for me i mean clearly on my genetics do you take like some weird stuff to soften your stool no nothing notice how i said the professional well done thank you thank you for doing that uh no it's been

and nothing other than seems to fit my biology like extraordinarily well so tell let's talk about this story so you sort of had a found memory right yeah well i didn't know at all and then when i was about i think it was about 26 i took a i did a skateboard demo uh all day in the sun and then i took a bunch of meth and some lsd you know big party at night time everybody left the hotel pool and i had an imaginary friend invisible friend that told me i was molested by my father while my girlfriend at the time just watched this i don't really remember it it then she started telling me in the morning and and then i guess she told my mom without even telling me my mom thought before you even recalled what had happened she called said it was the

craziest thing she's ever seen and you have to know that jason is talking in a way that it just didn't sound like it was made up and she was like i thought he forgot that yeah whoa yeah so then things started to appear in my head i started to see i know it's gross but i started to see the dick it didn't have a face to it but i started to realize this thing that was like hey you do this little bit and then i'll do it for you and i'm like oh okay so there's an adult that is you know confusing a four-year-old into doing this and are we sure we sure it's dad? Because sometimes those things can move up. Well, apparently I said it wasn't. And they said, you probably got it mistaken because the neighbor babysitted you and he's a redhead.

So I always thought from 27 on that I was molested by a neighbor. And then I remember asking what happened to that guy because my father had a temper. And I'd seen him put people in hospital for cutting him off on the street. And apparently he yelled at that guy. And there was no charges pressed. And I'm like, that's weird. And then also, when I took all these drugs and I had this thing happen, I think like two days later, I was at my father's house. And when I got up in the morning, because I was staying there when I was in between living in America and living in Australia and he said in the morning he saw me he's

like hey do you think you got molested this is exactly how it went this is I'm 27 so I do remember exactly how this one went and I was like yeah and he goes do you think it was me? And I went, nah. And he goes, eh, eh. And then I walked out the corridor, out the door, got on the train and went to the ramp. Never spoke about it ever again. And then many, many years later, when I was 40, I got divorced. And then I went to rehab and did some... EMDR?

Yeah, and started to recall a few more other things. But still, I was just like, that's impossible. It's just impossible. And then the lady was like, you don't think it's weird that he acted that way? And I go, yeah. But I also feel like he's a hardened guy that didn't have an emotional thing.

He never said he loved me. It was too gay of a thing to say. He would just sort of, you're a good guy, Jay. And I'm like, oh my God, he's really bad at this. And I was somebody that was raised by it. So I thought maybe I'm still, it's still not really what happened.

I'm just, people are making me think that this is the way it is. And then I just started to see more of it. And then there was an older time where it happened in another house where my father was doing pretty well and I had my own room. And he used to bring this heat lamp in. And I was in the back room and I remember this big circle lamp. So it was all black and I would just see the lamp come in. The red lamp. Yeah, the orange, big glowing circle lamp. Yeah. And he would, so I would only, it was all black and I would just see the lamp come in.

The red lamp. Yeah. The orange, big glowing orange lamp. And then, you know, I remember that happening a few times and I, but I don't,

I only remember somebody being on my back and me being on my stomach and I just don't know what happened. Don't know. Just didn't, didn't seem right. I just didn't, couldn't really put it together. Yeah.

And then I did MDMA therapy. Oh, you did. I didn't know right. I just couldn't really put it together. Yeah. And then I did MDMA therapy. Oh, you did? I didn't know that. Interesting. Yeah, that was terrible. That was a bit later, right? As I recall, yeah. That was way later.

Yeah. Yeah. So that sort of finished it off. Because I just got to know more of what happened. I mean, it's good that I can come to terms with it, but I idolize my father. I still do. Well, this is the conflict, right?

Yeah, like I still, my kids, they look like him. I look like him. I've got to look in the mirror. Well, you and I have spoken about this many times over the years, and I feel like you're speaking about it now in a more holistic way, if that makes sense. Like you're holding both parts of him a more holistic way if that makes sense like you're holding both parts of him in your mind at the same time well i think before you go to what kind of you know see that's why the mdma therapy helped because once i realized all the things

that had happened i've at the end of that the last thing that happened is i was under the bed holding onto this story with my toes and my fingers yeah Yeah. And I just said, stop, please stop. And the lamp went away. And then I felt him go back and realize what he'd done. And then that made me realize, why did he do that? And then why did he feel bad about it? Because he didn't realize what he was doing. And then he just did right now. He just did.

And now he's going to live with that for the rest of his life. Because I'm pretty sure his dad did that to him. Yeah. So to me, I just sort of felt sorry for him, which took the hate away because I really wanted to kill somebody. There was a little bit there where I could really boil and I was worried about myself

because I'm a big guy. I can't just snap on somebody because of my childhood. I've got to come to terms with this shit. So that really helped because I came out of that going, boy, did I not want to know any of that. But I also felt like, you know, it ends here, you know. Like I might screw with my kid's head a little bit just in general

because I'm an odd fellow. Tattoo on your head. Yeah, right. But it's not because I didn't touch anybody. You know what I mean? They know I love them Yeah You know

They might be like Man why would you You know Why did you do that Why did you do this I'm like Dad's crazy But he loves you

Not in that way Yeah Right so Well that's good I mean Made it better That's really good It's still a struggle

I know It's never just like Oh wow Everything's magic now Thank god I No Did that But it's

I'm just super happy To be here Have this Life You know After that. But I'm just super happy to be here, have this life. After all that shit, I'm supposed to be nothing now. So gratitude and forgiveness are the two things. You get those things going. That's how I know you're doing okay. When those two things start to come spontaneously like you just did, it tells me a lot.

Yeah, because I am happier. Forgiveness isn't all the way there right now, right? And nor may it ever be. Right, and I'm okay with that. But you're kind of thinking about, not so much forgiveness as understanding. Right. A little bit of understanding creeping in.

It makes it easier to talk to my family in Australia, even if they don't understand it. I see their angle as well. And I'm, and I'm able to, so there's nothing okay about it. That's the thing. That's the struggle.

There's nothing okay about it. And yet it's okay. It's has to be kind of, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna set the world on fire because of that. And your mom was kind of denying about it. Last time we talked about it. My step mom was,

and that was my mother. Yes. That really bummed me out because my brother didn't believe me as well. And that was all I had left. When I got divorced, I got my brother and my step-mom and they don't believe me. So now I'm out.

And they got little stories from Howard Stern and the book. Somebody read a piece. I'm like, it wasn't even in a book. So he's like, well, someone said it. I'm like, well, it's not in there, dude. So you're coming at me right now because the big fallout was my brother kind of – he was like, I think you just made up to get molested to be famous.

Oh. And I was like, dude. Well, that happens all the time. I'm like, how did you know that was a tough move on my behalf? Never seen that one before. Jesus. You have more than one brother? Yeah, my other one passed away at 24.

So I always – he's the only one I really know about. He has gone through enough. His brother was, they lived together in Australia. I came here to be a skateboarder. They were like that. Him in the middle and the older. Yeah, the younger. Stevie was the youngest.

Lee was the middle one. Okay, so Stevie's the one that's been giving you a hassle. No, no, no. Lee's the one that is not happy. Stevie's gone. Got it, got it, got it. I'm good now, though. He's bringing up the hardest stuff ever.

I'm really – I just was in Hawaii laughing all the time. I can tell you that you're better. She just saved me. No, listen, it's a great – listen, to me, it's an example. I like this conversation particularly because a lot – you this is a common thing right so lots of people out there have this history and this is where it can get get to a place of sort of okay not not not not okay in the sense that it is ever okay it's something that's happened but you can learn to manage your life story you gotta work at it though oh yeah you can't just sit there and wait for like time to heal it yeah yeah oh no time

time doesn't do shit all your brain does is walls it off and just you can't even access it and that's why it took all that stuff to get to it i felt like it wouldn't i couldn't access it until my body thought i could handle it right which is on your own never on your own your body will go never it took a lot of people a lot of therapy a lot of shoulders you know to discuss things now you i used to worry about you with substances and depression is really what i would worry you get you'd get dark yeah and is that all settling a bit is that yeah i mean isn't there once again there's no cure like a hundred percent no i Still got some times where I have hissy fits and I'll say to myself, wow, that's pretty pathetic, Jason.

But I'm like, you're a dark guy. Sometimes you have a bad day, you didn't get that much sleep or something, and now you're acting like the world's going to end because you're an emotional guy. And so you and Catherine would now do a podcast. Yeah, high and dry. Another guy that's been through some stuff yes and he's really a great example because he's like one of the better people on the planet and he died of heroin overdoses multiple times many times and now

he's like a really except here's the problem i mean god he's the nicest person i know but he doesn't accept that about himself yeah that's Mike's problem. What if he'd accept these abs? Who doesn't? I mean, if I had those abs, I would be shirtless right now on the show.

I know, so I've heard people say that about him a million times. I've made him get naked on the podcast. He has trouble taking, he can't take a shower

with his shirt off. He couldn't do that for years. I know, I made him get naked. So that's his thing, right? We each have our own

cross to bear, right? Right. His is, his is. Just try to minimize minimize whatever crosses your bearing like him not taking his shirt off everybody can live with that you know drinking yourself to death maybe not all right so let's see i'm looking at you guys i'm looking at some of the new messages my uh for some reason my things keep freezing up here

so i have to kind of re-up it let Let's go to some calls, shall we, Jason? Want to do that? Let's do this. Let's take a little break. How about that? We'll take a little break. I'm cool with breaks, too. And then we'll come back with some calls.

So, again, the great Jason Ellis, High and Dry is the podcast. What's the number on Sirius? 105? Wait, the number to call? No, for Faction Talk. Oh, no, Channel 103. 103.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks for understanding what I'm doing. Well, I'm sure it's the one you want people to go to is 103, right? You're not on the old Faction anymore. No. You're on the new Faction Talk.

Yeah, yeah. Go to 103. It's not more expensive anymore now. It's just everybody can watch it. I don't know what happened. I think that was... Seriously, I think that was a plot

to try to demise my power at SiriusXM. Just, the only thing is, it's not going to happen. There's no power that will stop me from rising to the top of SiriusXM. Let's make sure of that. And the book, again, buy it now. Still awesome. Amazon, click through at my website. No, don't go to Amazon.

Oh. No, we're against that. JasonEllisBook.com. I'm not giving anybody any money. I'm keeping it all. There it is. Look at that. JasonEllisBook.com. I'm not giving anybody any money. I'm keeping it all. There it is. Look at that. And tell me about those cats.

Well, actually, that's Gimli. He is a Bambino, what is it called? Bald cat, whatever they're called. Definitely bald. My wife will tell me. But he was not supposed to be in the photo. Oh. Yeah, he was harassing my friend, the cameraman,

and he was like, man, your cat is like super in my gear and stuff. I'm like, yeah, he likes to meet people. And then he climbed up the back of my jeans into my hands and I was like, wow dude, I have a photo shoot right now for my book. And then the photographer is my friend. He goes, just so you know

your cat is looking right at the camera. And I was like, well then take some photos. know, your cat is looking right at the camera. And I was like, well, then take some photos. I see your cat on Instagram all the freaking time. He is used to cameras. All right, we'll take a little break. Be right back with your calls. The CBD industry is still pretty much the Wild West

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For a limited time, you can save 20% at checkout with the code drdrew. Now let's get back to the show. Needles have increasingly become a part of everyday life. Proper disposal is both difficult and expensive. We have the solution. Simpler, safer, affordable, and fulfills the obligation to protect our environment. A single stick with something like this means tracking down the user, it means blood tests for the person's stock, it means possibly medication for an extended period of time.

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I can't remember what I did, but I'm sure. Too something. Too honest? I don't know. I feel like I don't want to get into it. I just, nobody goes on my show anymore that's from that world. Do you get accused of- People that go on your show now that I see, those guys don't come on my show.

Do you get accused of being not progressive or something? One of those sorts of accusations? That's the difference. No one would say anything to my face, Drew. I'm going to find out what's going on. I just know that nobody comes on the show anymore that's from that little thing. Not saying names. I'm happy for everybody.

Do you want to give me a hint what's going on? I honestly don't know. I just know that anybody who's friends with, god damn it. With who? Go ahead. It doesn't matter. You can tell me off the air. The Joe Rogans and the-

Really? Yeah, all those guys. So, Burt will text me, but he won't come on. Burt Kreischer. Yeah, but what's your buddy's friend? But Joe won't let me on his show either for some reason. And I can't figure out- Maybe it's because you're friends with me.

Maybe that's it. I never thought about that. I'm very annoying. But I love Joe. You like Joe too, right? I did, but now I feel like, fuck that guy trying. I never thought about that. I'm very annoying. But I love Joe. You like Joe too, right? I did, but now I feel like, fuck that guy trying to ban me from everybody. I thought you were like Carolla. When somebody starts getting weird on you, you immediately turn on them.

You know, Cerrone was on there the other day calling me the F word. Who? Donald Cerrone. Oh, yeah. Why? Because he found out that I was bisexual. So? So, Joe was like, what do you think of that?

And he was like, to be honest, I didn't say it, but he was like, what were you thinking? And he was like, I was thinking this dude sucks dicks, he's a faggot. Sorry, but that's what he said. That's the word he used. Those are the exact things. Hmm. Pretty enlightened. And Joe was like, hmm.

And I'm like, just hmm? I'm like, man, okay. But he's also from the thing where the F word he thinks everyone should say it and get over get over it well there's a whole and i get that but i comedy thing yes there is but i would i would argue that if you're using it in reference to being gay then it's no well i that's the one that's the sort of rule i mean the comedy people are trying to regain it to to mean sort of whatever they're trying to mean i did a thing for out magazine and they interviewed me about that and they said was there anything that you can remember in the yeah in the mma community that you found to be something you didn't like and i mentioned that one and they tweeted it and i i apologized

and was like look it's no harm to me i know he said it but i don't care and then the magazine guy was really bummed out about that so then i had a dinner with him and he's a gay man obviously that supports you know he's out there supporting the community i want to be a part of the community because i didn't realize that there was a lot of people out there that are bi they're just hiding it because nobody has the balls that i have apparently because apparently if you do then you get no friends or i don't know i'll give you the gay if you touch me i don't know how it works but it's but if you touch me. I don't know how it works, but I'm sick of it, so I'm talking about it a lot.

So I think the bisexual folks don't have anybody to represent them. You're either gay or straight, and then gay people think that you just haven't outed yourself yet. Correct. You haven't fully accepted your identity, and then the straight people think, oh, you're just experimenting or whatever. You think at 48.

You kind of figure it out. Yeah, I should stop having sex with my wife if I'm gay. I'm not going to. Right. And that's the part that I'm actually more confused about. Having sex with my wife? No. It's not that difficult.

No, I understand that. It's how your relationship gets – because I feel like when you get married, you declare a major. What's a major? Like I may be bi, for on behalf of this person i'm going to be straight from now on oh okay you know i'm saying yeah but we agree to both so okay you clearly don't do that and my question is how do you keep the relationship from falling apart oh um honesty and communication that i fail and she and she no well i'm really bad at it so she knew that from the very beginning too which is i remember that Oh, honesty and communication that I fail at constantly.

I'm really bad at it. So she knew that from the very beginning too, which is I remember that. I didn't want to get married again because the other two times I did, I didn't tell the person that I was by until the end of the relationship. This makes you fearful to talk about, right? Yeah. Your fear. Yeah. Why?

Because certain people don't want to hang out with me anymore they thought i was something that i'm not i can't believe that's the reason i can't believe you think that that's not a fact i i could be it just is people disappoint me so much i can't i can't like accept it that's me it's denial i've seen it's denial i saw i i'm not good friends with donald but i was a guy that he came on the show and we were like the fighter the UFC fighter and his mind changed right there and then

I watched his face get so bummed out and it bummed me out but that's about him that's his problem I'm just saying when you hear other people use it this is the thing

that the guy told me at dinner he said when people start using that word freely and you're a 16 year old-old boy in a small town and you hear that, these people are killing themselves. And for me, and this guy said,

I would rather insult every UFC fighter to save one innocent boy's life. Wow. So to me, when this guy was saying it, it was really heartfelt. And I know that people get offended and they're triggered and they over go over the top and i'm one of them so i really don't want to react to it but i also

feel like there's people that have reached out to me out to me that they're really young right they were thinking about killing themselves until they heard me talk about it right so now i've got a different cause man like i got something important so good so you're educating me a little bit you're in a sense of making this a refined narrative of what why it's important right yeah it's a very clear picture and i i'd love more i'd like more because because one of my fears is and please talk to these kids right like i am i'm dear every song every i swear sometimes i don't believe it because it just sounds believe what that somebody's messaging me saying that they please talk to these kids right i am i'm dear every son every i swear sometimes i don't believe it because it just sounds believe what that somebody's messaging me saying that they were

contemplating suicide and are no longer doing that because they heard my podcast with catherwood and i talked about being by and that there's nothing wrong with it and i've talked about the things that happen in some of these scenarios which is common common also, right? It could be embarrassing, and I make it out where I can either laugh at it or I think it's hot. I think I'm a badass for making out with dudes. Nobody says that. Only gay people back themselves for making out with dudes. My guys are supposed to hide it.

What's shocking to me is that's probably one of the most progressive statements I can imagine somebody saying. You should have the full support of the people that seem to be... Everybody should get past that. Like, why can't a guy say, yeah, I'm bi,

and then everyone at the table goes, meh, no big deal. I know. Not any kind of resentment from any person at the table because somebody's parents raised them to go, oh, well, he or she

is disgusting now because they... It's like, come on, man. And, of course, it depends where you are, right? I mean, I imagine you don't get a lot of that out here, do you? Well, that's not here, but my radio show is Middle America. So a lot of people have been turned off to me since I've come out. Really?

But you've been talking about that for eight years in some fashion. No, no, no, no. Not as openly as now. No, I came out like two years ago. Okay. And you have a lot of Canadian fans too. Yeah. Are they reacting?

Some people know that it's kind of a thing where you can't say too much on social media about me being an F-bomb. You get in trouble for that now. But it's not so bad anymore. But you got to, Drew, I race cars. I don't anymore because I can't afford it. Oh, it, but I was in the short course off-road racing community. Yeah.

Where everybody has, says prayers in the stands and before the race, there's like a mystical creature that's watching everybody race. Right. And they're absolutely positive of that. Right. Right. So I can't go blowing dudes around the track. Not that I do that

you know what I mean they put two a guy has said to me before what do you paint your toenails for and I was like because I'm gay I said actually that's not true I paint my toenails

because my daughter wanted me to paint my toenails and now I paint my toenails to match her but I know what you're saying dude and yes it's because I'm gay are you happy because that's what that's what it really yes it's because I'm gay are you happy?

because that's what it really means that's why I keep talking about it I'm not sorry people disappoint but I'm glad it's you I'm delighted it's you I just think when I'm gone the fear I see in your eyes

I wish you'd keep that it's nerve wracking to me it makes me sad that you have to have that kind of fear. I can see it. You're kind of steps in the ring with Keith Jardine. I didn't see that in your eyes. Well, that was a big poker face because I was terrified. You might have been terrified, but you were also pissed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. Questions, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's get to some of these calls. We've got a million calls here, and they're really kind of good. Who is this guy?

This guy said. It's Jason Ellis. He was just talking about it like five minutes ago. Still awesome. Great book. Hi there. This is Virginia. Yes, hi.

Hi, Virginia. What's going on? I have a question for you. Yes, ma'am. Hi, how are you guys doing? We're doing really well, actually. I have a question. So my dad, is there hope for him? I mean, he's 64 now and he's been struggling with, I'm 39,

he's been dealing with substance abuse my entire life. So I mean, can you still change at this point or is that it for him? It's a great question. I have opinions about this. I'll let Jason talk first. What do you think? I think there's always a chance. There have opinions about this. I'll let Jason talk first. What do you think? I think there's always a chance. There's always a chance. It's tougher when you get the older, the longer you've had that addiction. But if there's a rock bottom, it doesn't matter what age you hit, you can get it together. The problem with as you get older is they get cognitive changes from all the alcohol exposure. And so they lose, really lose their ability to see what's happening.

Okay. It's not only been alcohol. It's been a lot of other things. It's been crack. It's been alcohol. It's been just about anything he can get his hands on. What is it now? Well, the family, we are all suspecting that he's denying it,

but we think he might be back to crack because he's homeless again. Okay. Right now, homeless is typically meth. So much meth on the streets. It's unbelievable. And meth is very, very hard to treat. You could. How do you do meth when you're 60?

How does your heart take it? I don't think I don't think Cocaine's worse I don't think that's what it is Crack Either one of them How do you do any upper

Crack You'll eventually have a stroke or heart attack Yeah You will That's it Meth you can kind of get away with for a little while Depending on what you're doing But here's the deal

Okay so I want my kids to know him Like I want him to change But I'm scared to bring him around my kids. So, like, what can I do? Like, I don't want to bring him around my life because my childhood was really traumatic. I wouldn't. You could do it.

So, what can I do? Here's some ideas. None of them are good. None of them are perfect because the laws don't help you help your family member. And that's my life's thing right now is I'm trying to help change that. I'm trying to make it so you could get a conservatorship over your dad. So you could go say, this guy is not in his right mind. He can make your case. And then you can say, we're going to put him somewhere for six months where he's going to get intensive treatment. Now, in this

country, you're allowed to use until you die period end of story now forcing people into treatment is not a great thing i i'm not i'm not a huge advocate of that if we had more community-based sort of mental health services where people could be part of the community and really start to restore themselves because you don't want to get sober and a bunch of people try to make you get sober mental health yes but he doesn't believe in mental health. A lot of people here don't believe in mental health. Don't believe. He definitely has some issues. How's that working out for him?

How's that working out? Yeah, not believing. So conservatorship, you can try to go for that. The way it is now, you're in North Carolina. Okay. So maybe you can get a conservatorship there. If you're in California, there'd be zero probability. You can go to Al-Anon yourself.

The fact that you've not gone to Al-Anon yourself is a little bit concerning to me, and that's really important to take care of yourself so you can have the sort of skills and the mechanism to help you help him. Other people who've been through this are in the program called Al-Anon. You go there, you get support, and they will help you do what you need to do with him. And you've just got to remember, it's a deadly disease, man. It's your life too, though. You got kids.

You got to think about them too. Like if he doesn't want to get better, you can't spend the rest of your days trying to save somebody that doesn't care about themselves. You got kids to take care of. I know that sucks to think like that, but how old do you need to be to not get into gear for your family? Right. And that's one way of looking at it, for sure. And it's probably the most realistic way.

I've got somebody on my, I don't know if this is from Periscope or Facebook, Nicholas says, late wife died in October of opioid overdose, having a hard time getting through. Yeah, man. I've seen this coming for years. I've been screaming about it. I'm getting my certification to use Suboxone. I throw in the towel now. I'm going to use

replacement therapy because the magnitude of the problem is too great. It's too huge. And we got to have a scalable solution for people that are on the streets. I thought it was harder to get stuff these days. Doctors don't prescribe? Yeah, that problem has gone way down.

Okay, but not. Heroin way up. Oh, it's because everybody that had the addiction won't get the pill. That's exactly right. All right, let's keep going here, guys. This is John. John, how are you doing there? Hey, John.

Hey, how's it going? We're good. What's up? Hey, thanks for taking my call Thank you for taking my call I appreciate it Hey Dr. Drew I wanted to let you know

I read all your books I took your advice And after a decade of drinking Every single day I detoxed off alcohol And I have not drank now For 40 days in a row Congratulations

So I wanted to say thank you That is tough man Good job Shane Thank you so much 40 days in a row. So, uh, I want to say thank you. That is tough, man. Good job. Uh, Shane, thank you so much. Um, but,

solve one problem and a new pop, new one popped up, which was that, you know, when they detox me, they basically gave me some benzos. Uh, you know, they weighed me off benzos.

And then when I came out, they put me on a little bit of well-bued friends. Um, pretty mild. But then now I find myself on about 10 milligrams of well-bued shrimp okay um pretty mild but then now i find myself on about 10 milligrams of volume a day which i don't know if it's considered a lot or not um it's not really having right now any negative effects on my life is that something that's okay to use over a long period of time no no no no no no no no no no it's not okay

uh i'm i'm not i don't want to pass judgment on it right now because you're so fresh. Sometimes pharmacology can help a little bit and make recovery possible, but you have to have an imminent goal of getting off that benzodiazepine. You will hate life more than you – the withdrawal from – did you ever have a benzo problem? No. No. I've got some friends that did that, though.

It's not pretty. The withdrawal, the post-acute withdrawalzo problem? No. No. I've got some friends that did that, though. It's not pretty. And the withdrawal, the post-acute withdrawal goes on for months. It's really awful. You might talk to your doctor about other things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk to your doctor about other things that can be very helpful for this post-acute withdrawal time. This is really hard. You've got to go to meetings every day.

There's something called Neurontin that can be helpful. Are you against Kratom? I'm not against anything. Kratom is an opiate, right? Yeah. And it's a weak opiate, and he's not an opiate addict, so I'm not so worried about that. But it's going to be another problem if we keep substituting one thing for another.

Right. And the next thing will be weed therapy, right? People get by on that for a while. That's what I'm on. You are now? Yeah. But you've done so much other work i'm going to make a prediction that you'll you'll you'll go you'll get away from that soon

you think i don't know about soon but eventually eventually how much you're doing now i don't know fair because you've been on and off through the day you've been on and off yeah right and i just found it to be too busy your day just to i'm too much for everybody and myself a little bit here and there sort of smooths me out and the other thing i noticed i don't want to talk smack on meetings but the people that do the tobacco thing and the meetings all the gum and the patches that you do i've done those and i can't stand up after one of your gums but you do so much of that i don't those guys chew the gum all day and i've chewed it in a meeting and i had to spit it out and i almost passed out sitting on the couch and i'm looking at him going i'm like wait i can't smoke you can chew that catherine gave me one

of his little snoozes yes no i almost vomited, he has the sweetest one that can kill a man. And they love, they all love that stuff. So I feel like. So point well taken. Whatever you guys do. But I would argue the same with them, that they need to get away from all this stuff. I agree. And you've done so much hard work.

I mean, you know, one of the arts in arts in recovery right is the order in which things need to be done okay okay and there is a sort of an axiom in the field that you got to deal with the substance first and we can't do anything else till you deal with the substances okay well that's generally true but not always true and so yeah you got off substances enough to be able to deal with these things you still have some stuff to go but you're doing pretty damn well i got a fan of depressants did you good yeah i did ayahuasca jesus christ and so what what so how'd that go really good once again another thing that really really sucks yeah but it turns out to be great yeah it can't we don't know but i'm i'm fascinated by that i do believe one day we'll be using that in some sort of specific way.

Exactly for whom and how much and how long. I have no idea. Yeah, I agree. You've got to have the right people. You can't just be taking that like it's a free ride. No, you've got to have work. It's three days. I did it for three days.

For work? Yeah, like to get better. Did you have a guy? Yeah. There's people out there. Whatever it is. Yeah, Shaman. Shaman, yeah. Was it one of the guys that's done like tens of thousands of these yeah yeah he's been recommended by all these other people that do it a lot so it was a

big deal for me what's your guy's name you mind i forgot his name okay because i met some of those guys and i'm persuaded that they know what they're doing i think i but i can't recommend it yet because we don't we don't just don't have the science but anyway so was it a bad experience when you were doing it there was parts of it that were really bad yeah yeah but there was there was no parts to me that are like this blissful yeah yeah utopia i'm too old to get really high i know that's weird thing to say sounds weird coming out of my mouth but i'll take a little high but i don't need to like not be able to get in a car and go save my children from something so when you take this stuff you really you're not there yeah and i don't like that yeah yeah

and it goes for a really long time and i'm like man i feel like i'm doing intense amounts of mushrooms and i'm too old to be doing this but that's one of the things that worries me is that i don't know you've had a bunch of head injuries and stuff too we just don't really know worries me at all i just felt like there was a it turns on an engine inside your mind that starts to face your problems and break them down even after the medicine's worn off yeah forever i look at problems differently because i've had this like i had to do a lot of work for three days. I was like, I don't want to see this anymore. And it just kept showing me.

And I was like, okay, I totally get the message. You got to make it stop. And it was like, nope. What was it? It showed me things happening to me when I was a kid and then it showed things happening to me that weren't even real. But it was still me as a child,

like injecting heroin and being molested and stuff, like a fly on the wall. And I was just like, I get it. Like, I get you're showing me that because it's bad and it's affected my life. So these guys that do this work think that it's showing you the trauma and forcing you to work through the trauma in new ways. Yeah, and then it showed me other things that I do in my life that might not be good for me without saying it in a

sentence it was just very obvious that i should not be on the internet as much and there's certain things on the internet that i shouldn't be looking at i didn't even realize it i got a lot of porn friends i guess i used to scroll through and they put those two minute videos up all the time of everybody banging everybody. And that medicine was like, you need to stop doing that, Jason. That's not good for you. I was like, really? Are you sure?

And he's like, you know what? Let me put it to the test. Let me show it to you for three hours. See if you like that. And I was like, all right, I promise I won't do it anymore. That's really interesting. Okay. Let's get to Zach. Thanks, John. And again, keep more again meetings meetings meetings and get off that benzo zach

hey dr drew hey man what's happening um hey you know i'm 31 years old and I was raised by a borderline mother with bipolar. And, you know, it's really while raising my son, I see how much my wife and I are doing for him that, you know, I never had when I was growing up. And I was raised one of four boys. My mother was single and I was the only one to graduate high school and college of four boys. My mother was single. And I was the only one to graduate high school and college of the three. Two of my brothers are in prison. Anyway, so I'm 31. And recently, I was just looking back at journals from the past few years, and I realized I'm still struggling with the same problems every day, just with self-discipline, time management,

those type of things and that's where i'm starting to wonder or lose faith in the idea that uh can i actually be successful but what are the odds of me actually being able to overcome my path to become this person that i want to be all right what do you think i mean you got to be joking me dude of course you can i get i mean i don't know how far and much of a start you got but i don't think i got the greatest one and you've got to be joking me, dude. Of course you can. I mean, I don't know how far and much of a start you got, but I don't think I got the greatest one. And I remember doing Rob Dyrdek's Ridiculousness, and when I was on there, he said,

out of all the people from the skateboard world, you were the last person that I thought would be up on this stage right now talking to me about your New York Times selling book and whatnot. And I was like, yeah, because I was... Steve was another one. Right. It's just about the effort, man. It's just about...

And sometimes I think I find that it took so much to get out of there that now my normal hustle is bigger than most people's hustle because I had to dig so deep to get out of that darkness. So it's almost... If you do the work, it could turn out to your advantage i think like you could be you could turn into a juggernaut a hustling monster or or somebody that like what jason just offered other people who are suffering and he's offers on a regular basis and high and dry a a spiritual light for other people you know know, a beacon for others, which is extremely meaningful.

So, but realize, not only did Jason do a lot of work, he had professionally managed work. And that's a really critical piece. You sound like somebody who right now could benefit from something called cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT. Get your thinking right. And I think that would go a long, long way right away.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I can't disagree with you. To you, Jason, you know, I love the stories. And stories like yours, Jason, has always been an inspiration for me. However, for every Jason, there must be a thousand others who thought they wanted to become more and failed, right?

Well, but most of those people, in my experience, I'll tell you that here's the difference. You tell me if this makes sense. Unwilling to really look at it, so lack insight, number one, won't do the work, won't follow the direction of usually professionals or other recovering people whatever it is so so and it's and it's the i understand the conditions these disorders cause both things they cause denial so you don't see what's happening and they cause resistance because it's too painful right your brain doesn't want to do it and i feel

like you think a lot of people that are not as fortunate that have tried as much as sort of like saying that hollywood all the people that try to become a star think about all the people that just end up being waiters well i hate to say it but you're a waiter because you haven't put in enough effort yet and it still can happen any day it's just the hustle and the never given up. You just never, ever give up. And anything's possible, man. If you're not an asshole, you should be fine. And I would argue that metaphor, I understand the metaphor, it's not irrelevant, but here's the thing. If the metaphor held for mental health, it would be the case that if you follow certain directions, you will become a star. And in mental health that if you follow certain directions, you will become a star.

In mental health, if you do certain things, you will get better. Treatment works. It's predictable. The problem is people don't do it. It's hard. It's hard. I know it's hard. When you talk to people about your problems and then they tell you just a smidgen of the amount of work that you're going to have to put in to

get anywhere near a normal person, it's enough to make you want to quit right there i'm like wait i gotta put all this work in just to get to normal that's so unfair yeah but no but to be fair that as you're finding the normal feeling normal comes with a bunch of benefits right no stuff comes with it so that as you said other people don't necessarily experience. Right. We've got to do something about that fear, though. We've got to do something about that. You know what?

The book is helping doing this article for the Out magazine and facing it and then talking to – I don't have any gay friends. Like, I do now from the article, and I've reached out to some – You've got tons. You come around with us. Nobody invites me, but I would totally go. We come out in New York with us. But I'm saying, since I've known this.

We go to all the gay bars regularly. Do you really? Yes, yes. I sing at them. Oh, God. I started doing it because. Now I know why I'm not getting invited to that. No, listen.

I started doing it because I did the Masked Singer, right? I did that TV show. Oh, you did? I did that. And before that, I thought, I better start singing again. And so we started doing that. Do you like it? Yeah. Good for you, man did? I did that. And before that, I thought, I better start singing again. And so we started doing that. Do you like it? Yeah.

Good for you, man. Come on, man. I'm the gayest straight man in the world. Yeah, no, we've mentioned that before. I'm the gayest straight man in the world. The other way around, straightest gay man in the world. You are the straightest gay man in the world. That's why we work so well.

I tell you. Is he gay? Is he gay? Is he gay? Find out on the next episode. Oh, my God. That's hysterical. Okay. So, Zach, yes, you can get better.

Treatment works. Okay. I'm going to try this real quick from Tony. He has a Suboxone question. Tony, go ahead. Hi, buddy. Go ahead. Hey, man man how's it going dr drew and jason ellis how's it going can you hear me yep we got you okay hey yeah so when i originally sent the email out to you guys i was two days off of suboxone

that's rough and it's been two weeks now. And I still have cold sweats, but everything else is fine. Good. It's a two-week withdrawal with Suboxone. And if you can get to two milligrams that jump from two to nothing, you feel it, but it's usually quite tolerable. And here's the thing. Doctors are very fearful of you coming off Suboxone

because they're convinced you're going to go out and shoot again or smoke or whatever you're doing and that you're going to go back to your usual dose and overdose and die. That's the risk. And so that's why they keep everybody on forever. I love that you came off it. Maybe take some, I don't know if you want to get on naltrexone now, you know what I mean, that blocks the opiates

should you have a problem in the future. It'll block it, you know what I mean? It won't work if you take it, you mean? Yeah. uh it won't work if you take it you mean yeah does the heroin won't work well yeah it's just crazy because i haven't had a clean piss test since i was 14 years old oh man you're 27 now congratulations what's what's motivating you? Life, dude. I don't want to be a loser. How do we bottle that? Because there's a lot of guys about your age that can't get that shift. They just don't care. What made you care?

It took me overdosing and dying a few times. It took me going to juvie. It took me years and years of just abuse, man. And ruining every relationship I had. Yeah, you're sick of it. I get it. I get it, man. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

I'm super, super grateful that you're here. Welcome to life, dude. Yeah, congratulations. But you got to do work, man. You don't just sit on the abstinence. here. Welcome to life, dude. Yeah, congratulations. But you've got to do work, man. Like Jason talked about, you don't just sit on the abstinence. You've got to do stuff and preferably have

professionals in your life, in my humble opinion, that can watch you and monitor and make sure you're staying okay. And if you need whatever, you know, we talked about many different kinds of treatments here. There's lots of ideas out there that can really help you. Alright, I'm tired. There are many different kinds of treatments here. There's lots of ideas out there that can really help you. All right.

I'm tired. Why? Do you need a coffee? I do need a coffee, but I'm tired because the calls are hard and your material is hard. I'm feeling it. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no. I didn't mean to be hard.

No, no, no, no, no. Not in the best possible way. Okay. All right. Mike, I'm not going to take your call let me just say, I know Dan Amon very well I sign off on his stuff his specs cans can see

patterns that are associated for sure with depression and various other things, ADHD I've sent patients to get his specs scans, addiction you can see in there, trauma you can see in there so of course the brain reflects the diseases, right? that's how we're able to do things like transcranial magnetic stimulation where you actually send a uh thank

you much that you send like magnets into the brain you know magnetic fields and push the push the chemistry out that way no way yeah you can put into right specific foci that cause depression yeah man yeah yeah it used to used to have put electrodes on both sides and run a current through your head to make you seize. That was called electric shock therapy. Now you have a magnet halo that directs it right in a little current. You got a hookup for one of those? Yeah, I get you.

Not a hookup. I need to wear one of those. I can refer you to the guys. You should just wear one all the time. I bet. You know, we did a- Five-five with five. You know, I get punched in the head and then put the helmet on when I get home?

Well, but- So to eat a cheeseburger and a carrot? You got to go in. You got to go into the office- Five-five with five. You know, I get punched in the head and then put the helmet on when I get home. Well, but- So to eat it out like a cheeseburger and a carrot. You got to go in. You got to go into the office. It's a big machine. It's like an MRI machine. Man, a cow just put it in a motorcycle helmet? But Susan, what was the-

I got stuff to do. This life you lived, did we not, with a TMI specialist? Remember the psychiatrist that was doing that? Oh, you're looking at me with a blank face. A month ago? Yeah, it's our depression episode. And it's also on Facebook and Periscope. Okay, so we can hook you up with that guy. All right.

All right, here we go. And Lindsay, if you're listening to me, I'm pulling people out of the host queue, which I assume what you want me to do. Shelby, what's up? Okay, let's see. Here's my question. I am 63 years old, and I've been married and everything, but I continue to date guys that I know are emotionally unavailable, and I'm just going for the chemistry pretty much.

I cannot. It's like I'm a drug addict or something yeah yeah uh when i'm with them i feel great you sure and they're never available not there have i never spoken to you before what can i do wait shall we slow down never you've never spoken to me before because i had a call with adam i think of somebody with almost exactly this story do you find me attractive? You know what? I'm sorry, but I don't know who you are. Are you watching the screen? If you watch on the screen, you find me attractive. I'm not watching on the screen.

I am on my phone. If you could get us on Periscope and tell us if you find... because he's testing you. It's going to be a big test right now. Yeah, it's an appropriate and interesting test he's doing. So here's what he's testing, which is that if your picker is broken, if there's something about you that makes you pick unavailable men

or men that have certain whatever you want to fix. You need men that are a product. They act like I look. They act like he looked, that's right. And Jason may make you feel that feeling and what i know about attractions and where they come from is they're perfectly they're a perfect instrument they make you a perfect instrument if you feel lightning bolts towards a guy and like you said like a drug addict guaranteed that guy's going to leave guaranteed because you are a perfect instrument.

Now, there's two things you can do. One, you can go for – there's a great book called Overcoming Love Addiction by Pia Melody. Pia Melody, Overcoming Love Addiction. I want you to read that, number one. Number two, see if you can date guys that don't cause the lightning bolts and cause more interest or butterflies not lightning bolts okay you understand what i'm saying okay it may not be possible you may find them boring you may think boring i can't handle it and if you can't do it and can't find a meaningful connection with people that are so-called boring, then you've got to get therapy.

You really need to do it. Oh God, I've had so much therapy. I've had so much therapy. That's that thing again. So much therapy that you should just give up. No, you should see another therapist. They're not all the same. You should not just like, I've tried it.

I would say two things. Give me Jason in the picture here because I'm talking to him here. He's talking to me. I would say two things. Give me Jason in the picture here because I'm talking to him here. He's talking to me. Yeah. So I would say two things. She's at a different place in her life, right? Yes. Desperate to get better, number one.

So that's a good thing. And then number two, I think she should do something called Emotionally Focused Therapy, EFT, which is a very attuned, intensive therapy so she can form a better attachment to somebody, the therapist, and then translate that attachment out into the world. See, it seems like, once again, when you're saying that, I hear her brain because my brain's thinking the same thing. Boy, Drew, that seems like a lot of work just to find the right guy. But it's like this.

Do you want to meet another seven morons? And I gave her the option of trying it on her own, right? This Barbara girl thinks I'm hot right here. Okay, Barbara. Be careful, honey. What's up, Barbara? Be careful. I'm so sorry.

DM me on Instagram. What's up? Oh, it's Barbara. You are so handsome, Jason, but I'm not into people who are taken. Oh, yeah, but. Yeah, I just don't. Are you allowed to do stuff with women? Yeah.

What? Man, how would it be just guys? How's that fair? I'm just asking. Everybody can get it. All right. So what happened to the caller? It was Shelby.

There's Shelby. So Shelby, good. Take the advice. We're going to try to take some more calls. But again, see if you can do it. If you can't, read the book, Overcoming Love Addiction. P.M. Melody. And then emotionally,ft emotionally focused therapy you're in san francisco i think they have eft therapists up there check with sue johnson in san diego she knows all the good ones

around man you're helpful i try i try holy crap i try i should not be here why you're very helpful too you're helping me help people okay well then it's great to be here oh boy okay this is going to be a rough one you ready nancy hey nancy hi hey there thank you for taking my call you bet thank you for your service oh no problem he's sitting right here um he has uh he's former military and he had an mri because he was having a lot of short-term memory issues yeah and uh the diagnosis that came back was white matter disease yeah and he doesn't have an appointment yet of course the va takes a while to get an appointment with a neurologist so we're just kind of wondering uh what that all entails of course i've looked online but it usually says it's for

people that are older he's 40 so it it's concerning it might not even mean anything did he have head injuries um no but he was in combat areas where there was a lot of explosions um he had some close ones that were right next to his convoys. He was also artillery, so he used a lot of large bangs, had a lot of large bangs around him. So there was a lot of concussive injury to the head. So that's the concern, right, that he has a post-concussive encephalopathy like we're worried about with the NFL players. I can't say much more than that. That's what needs to be ruled out is this

concussive encephalopathy. It sounds like something like that could be going on, but it doesn't have to be progressive. And there are therapies that can help him with this whole process. There are things that every day they're coming up with more to be done. And the VA is a center of research for all of this kind of thing. So let's just say it's probably the repetitive concussive injuries and that there's more to be done. He may not come up with more of a diagnosis than post-concussive kinds of processes. But I don't know.

Short-term memory can be improved. So let's think good thoughts and get to the neurologist, okay? Yeah, best of luck. Yeah, man. And thank you for the service, both him and your family. Yeah, thank you. Okay, see, I told you it would be hard. People get brain damage from socket now, right?

Yeah. Everything. It's so weird. How much brain damage do soccer now, right? Yeah. Everything. It's so weird. How much brain damage do you think I have? You think it's possible that I'm just really tough? Yes. Man, I hope you're right, Drew. I'm hoping I'm right, too.

Is my Facebook still got Jason? What do I have that were Jason's picture still on it? Wait, trying to get. No, I'll show you. I just remember that moment when you were trying to crawl out of the ring after being hit by eight dudes oh yeah yeah that was a bad day well depending on who you're who you're where you're sitting right but you were crowd had a great time crowd did have a great head back we we convinced you're a great corner man by the way no

i wasn't no i agree but that's sarc. The moment of most optimum freak out for me was the moment that that picture caught where I was really worried about you. Oh, well, thanks, dude. And nothing I could really do to change that. And I was talking to Katie later, like, watch him, watch him, watch him. She's like, oh, this is how he is.

I have to get to that much time. She's on a different... What are you going to do? I know. She has to be like that. Otherwise, she'd be a nervous wreck. We don't have the picture of Jason, but we have you singing the national anthem at Ellis Mania. Do you want to play that?

Just give a little Ellis Mania plug? In a minute. Just the end of it. Just the very back part of it. I want to hear the whole national anthem. But it brings me to something I meant to ask an hour and a half ago which is another ls mania coming up um well 2020 is the plan yeah there's supposed to be a big one at the hard rock that is not going to be the hard rock anymore so there's a virgin whatever which i am in talks with them about that but the main thing is

all the proceedings of the hard rock shifting into Virgin didn't happen when it was supposed to. So I did one in Texas this last year because I wasn't sure it was going to work at the Hard Rock planning for 2020 at Virgin in the big one. Ellis Mania 20. And he said that maybe November,

December. It's worth waiting for. I'm ready to wait for that, but I also had a really good one in Texas last year where everybody really liked it. I want to go to Las Vegas. You know what you should do? It's like the Northern Plains.

Maybe Atlanta or something. Up north. What do you mean up north? Near Canada. In Canada? In Canada would be great too. I wonder what the legalities are. I'm going to do Alice Mania in Canada and I get to keep the money. Because I feel like Canada does this weird thing

where you go there and they go, oh, we're taking it. And I'm like, nah, that doesn't work like that for me. But I'm signing up now to sing the anthem in Vegas. All right. If that helps motivate you, I'll help with that. Oh, it's 2020 Alice Mania. Alice Mania 20 is happening.

I want you to know. I just don't know where. We dragged one of our sons to it. He was like, what is that? What is it? Hold on. Hold on. But listen, this is one of the greatest compliments ever.

And about three fights in, he was like, oh, I see. This is very entertaining. I see why you guys like it. And he just had a blast the rest of the day. He was like, I thought that was a high compliment. Total turnaround like oh i get it this is really good that's what i'm talking about so mission accomplished yeah yeah i i was really impressed when he had a complete complete change of mind okay here we go we're going to talk a little endometriosis before we hear the national anthem uh john what's going on hey how's it going dr drew um so i called uh

about a year ago and asked them about my situation in my relationship 27 and i've been with my girl for 14 years yep and um she has endometriosis and it's you know she has um complicated or painful She has painful sex and extreme cramps and all of this associated. And she's been through two surgeries trying to remove it. Trying to remove it. Did she ever have the micro? There's a whole microsurgery technique that they use. You might want to look that up. Has she had that?

Yeah. And really, no relief. Okay. She had that? Yeah. Okay. So I was talking to Stern about being with her, you know? Yeah.

And? Yeah. And? What do you think? Oh, should you stay with her? Is that what you're asking? Well, you know, that was kind of a part of it because I've been with her 14 years

and I'm not able to have a normal sexual experience in a relationship. And it is taken. Do you have a huge penis? What do you call it in Australian? That's what Howard said. Sorry, I keep interrupting,

but Howard is like, yeah, you know, I had a girl with endometriosis and it was the best sex of my life. Who's Howard? She felt like, you know... Oh, wow. Oh, you got advice

for a micropenis. That doesn't count. Oh, how dare you. He's the one that says it. I know. So here's the deal. So, John, there's two things.

I always think about this. I think about this in two ways. First of all, endometriosis is horrible. It's a devastating condition for some women, but there is a lot of good treatment. And she has to constantly be wading through proper management. And it sounds like she's doing sort of sporadic care. So that's one concern I have. The other concern is the pain.

Yeah. And the pain can be separate from the endometriosis. They can be two separate problems. And one of the things that I always ask people to check out when there's painful sex is, is there something happening where the information coming out of her pelvis to her brain is associated with misery? There's a part of the brain called the insula cortex that fires off. If you've had sexual abuse, particularly,

or if you've had even physical abuse, these, these parts of the brain don't fire normally. If you've had those sorts of experiences and there are ways to treat the pain then as well as treating the endometriosis. So did she have any traumatic history? No, not traumatic history? No, not traumatic history, but traumatic in the

sense that it's been painful for many years. I get it's trauma all the time. The past three years it's been bedridden. Yeah, I get it. Oh man. Again, she should look forward to

some kind of systematic treatment. There are treatments. Wait, she's bedridden? It could be bad, man. It could be really bad. But again, I'm worried about the magnitude of the misery she's experiencing and the emotional valence. Did you ever have any weird stuff because of the –

you kind of went the other way. You kind of shut off. Nothing hurts when I have sex. No, no, but you don't feel easily from your body. You can of the you kind of went the other way you kind of nothing hurts when i have sex no no but nothing you don't feel you don't feel well easily from your body you can beat the shit out of yourself yeah yeah yeah yeah and so that's the opposite of what this woman is experiencing where things coming out of the body are just organizing overwhelming and shattering and this kind of stuff you can just feel it at all i'd be be fun. I could watch you ram me. But I would. My soul would, too.

Okay, let's do one more here, and then we'll wrap things up a little bit. Horsha, go ahead. Horsha. Hi. Hey. Oh, my word. I'm so excited. Hello.

Let me put you... I have you on my computer. Okay, cool. I'm going to get some little... I feel like you... Do you almost call her Horsha? Yeah, okay. Horsha. So my mom. Like the merchant of Venice.

Hi. Okay. He's making fun of your name. Oh, I feel like you said that. Were you named after the character merchant of Venice? No. I was. She was.

See? Not the car. I was. Not the car. Yes. It's not spelled like that. Oh, okay. Not the car, and I can't afford one either, you know all right what's going on what's okay so my mom i'm not sure how much you know

but my mom um she has warner kies korsakoff syndrome oh boy are you familiar of course so we're not okay so and the kors cough part hang on a second the course of cough part is very bizarre because they confabulate all the time you can go you can walk in and go yeah hey man wasn't a great ball game we had today and they'll start telling you about what happened on the ball yeah oh okay very confabulatory anyway so it's horrible it needs like nursing home care oftentimes so what's going on so So she, I was her guardian. I had to be her guardian when she was declared incompetent, but I ended up having, I'm,

I had three little girls and I have a six month old, so I had to give up guardianship because it was just too much, you know, and she was volatile and just nasty to me. Um, so she got another court appointed guardian and somehow ended up in maryland i'm in pennsylvania so they had to switch guardianship over to a maryland guardian and um now she's stuck in this dump in maryland she escaped out windows like and we just wanted to home, come closer to us, but without being her guardian, I don't know how I can help her. Well, this is why systems are problematic. It's lucky when it works for you.

Most conservators are really quite responsive. Have you talked to this person have you talked to conservator via email we have she doesn't update me ever like my mom has been in and out of the hospital and she won't even call me when she's in the hospital i think she jumps out a window i think you have to appeal to the court and build your case and go look here's what's happening this is unacceptable We want her closer to home. Help me. And the courts should help you.

They really should. Conservatorship is a very messy patchwork in our country. It should be, much like many other things in our health care system, it should be a much cleaner operation. What I find particularly objectionable to the conservatorship problem is we give conservatorships readily to dementia patients for whom there's no hope of improvement but schizophrenics and bipolar that's the baby it's the six-month-old but it's the mom and are you here yes we do but but those conditions that progress without treatment well those you don't treat those you can't have conservators for it's

really terrible but anyway and then the other problem is sometimes conservatorships that are county appointed, however it's working for you, aren't up to what you'd like usually because their caseload is too high. Frankly, you have just too many people. Alright, so, Portia, the deal is to appeal to the court and you know what's going on here.

And she does love the show. Jason, she's, you know... She's probably a fan of mine. Makes sense. Right, she's another one of these uh people with pickers that are got a big baby a big baby base big fan base and baby let me uh quickly go on our scroll here uh all right boy that barbara's really going off on you yeah she's hot all right great okay uh what i want to do is remind people that uh next week we will have a show on sunday uh i believe at three o'clock so be sure to check out drdrew.tv and you'll get a message when the streaming begins uh also uh we are available ask dr drew available

as podcast subscribe all of the shows uh you know i have many now i've got adam and drew i've got drew i've got after dark i gotta get've got Drew. I've got After Dark. I've got to get you on After Dark. That would be an interesting booking. So we'll talk about that. I don't know. Why not be allowed? It'll be interesting.

I've got to find that all out. So check out all the other shows on iTunes, Spotify, anywhere else you listen. And again, we appreciate Caleb Nation and Susan Pinsky for producing the show. Today's call screener is Lindsay K. Floyd, who's been helping me out since the Loveline days. Jason's book is still awesome. You can get him on 105, 103, 105.

The radio show? The radio show. Yeah, channel 103. 103. The book is jasonellisbook.com. jasonellisbook.com. And we, as usual, are at 9842 Dr. Drew. Oh, they're going to show you the video.

Are we going out with this video? They're still awesome. And there's the great cat in the picture. The great Kim Lee. Kim Lee. Let's come back once after the – just give us a couple of seconds of the national anthem, and then we'll come back and we'll talk about Ellis Mania, and then we'll finish up with that.

The singing gazelle. Yeah, this is something that that jason convinced me to do no not to write a book oh there's the ring this is in the big room in uh in las vegas hard rock hotel it's a big room by the way yes lots of that's you introducing me. Fortunately, you're starting at the beginning. So I'm going to interrupt at this point. Alice Fanning, everybody. Here's the answer.

You did say some stuff. Yeah, that's what I did. Somebody had to. Yeah. Probably better came out of your mouth than mine what I did. Somebody had to. Yeah. Probably better came out of your mouth than mine. I guess. I'm just too much of a foreigner, you know? Are you a citizen?

No. Are you not a citizen? No. Do you want me to go back to where I came from? What? Just making a joke. You are a citizen, aren't you? No, I just... On the Jason Oshow, Tully always makes a joke about going back to where I came from because the president once tweeted that some people should go back to where they came from.

So we have a little in-show. Are you a citizen? No. You should do that. Sure. Why not? Because I got a green card. I don't want to go.

I've got to go to a test. I'm so, you're going to bash me for this, but I'm so dyslexic and – They give you extra time. I'm against schoolwork and reading and writing. Let's just make you an American citizen. Come on now. I don't want any hassles. Okay.

All right. You think they might kick me out? For being half a gay or something? No, not for that. I just worry that you get – the whole system is so messed up. I worry about my friends that are not citizens you know the system seems like a mess wow i pay my taxes any consolation all right and there was the national anthem uh so ellis mania is going to

be in the fall of 2020 we'll all be there i'll be there looking forward to it we'll look for you uh on sirius xm any upcoming fights or anything for you otherwise? Actually trying to not do that. Good. Trying to do some stand-up. I find that to be really tough. I'm not very good at it. I haven't really put that much focus in. I've been really focused on the book and publicity for the book.

But I find that to be terrifying. And nobody punches me in the head. So I need terror in my life. I need to be tested. So I feel like comedy sounds like a fun thing to do while i'm not doing the radio and not fighting everybody on friday testing is good i like that well everybody thank you so much for being part of this again it's uh we're here on streaming on weekends as a bonus show coming up at five o'clock do be stay on the line for that

i'll try to get to your calls as well on that and we appreciate the great jason ells for joining us today man thank you thanks for having me man all right see you next time yep Stay on the line for that. I'll try to get to your calls as well on that. And we appreciate the great Jason Ellis for joining us today, man. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me, man. See you next time. Yep.