Ask Dr. Drew - Loveline's Mike Catherwood Reunites with Dr. Drew for the Premiere of Ask Dr. Drew - Episode 1

Episode Date: November 27, 2019

Dr. Drew answers questions from callers on this new LIVE show, streamed worldwide at DrDrew.tv! This week, longtime Loveline cohost Psycho Mike Catherwood reunites with Dr. Drew to help callers find answers on PTSD, safe sex, addiction, childhood trauma, and more. Plus: a few rounds of Stinky Pinky and an appearance from Instagram star Rudy Cisneros the @culobreaker! Produced by Kaleb Nation (@kalebnation) and Susan Pinsky (@firstladyoflove); Call Screening by Lindsey Kay Floyd (@Lindseykayfloyd). Sponsored by Social CBD. https://thesocialcbd.com/ Use Code DRDREW20 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Our laws as it pertains to substances are draconian and bizarre. Psychopaths start this way. He was an alcoholic because of social media and pornography, PTSD, love addiction, fentanyian and bizarre. Psychopaths start this way. He was an alcoholic because of social media and pornography, PTSD, love addiction,

fentanyl and heroin. Ridiculous. I'm a doctor for f***'s sake. Where the hell do you think I learned that? I'm just saying. You go to treatment before you kill people.

I am a clinician. I observe things about these chemicals. Let's just deal with what's real. We used to get these calls on Loveline all the time. Educate adolescents and to prevent

and to treat. If you have trouble, you can't stop and you want help stopping, all the time. Educate adolescents and to prevent and to treat. If you have trouble, you can't stop and you want to help stop it, I can help. I got a lot to say. I got a lot more to say. That's right. Welcome to Ask Dr. Drew. Mike Cathwood is my special guest today. This is awesome. His phone number is 9842-DRW. 9842-D-R-E-W.

That's also 9842-373739. Give us a call. We'll just be taking your questions. We've got a bunch of stuff to get into. Also want to thank our sponsor for today, which is Social CBD. And again, go to drdrew.com slash SocialCBD and support the sponsors. And we want to get some callers.

Again, that number, 9842-DRDREW. Also, you can follow this live on my YouTube channel, facebook.com slash drdrewperiscope. Mix her today. And if you're watching, please share. Tell your friends. We appreciate it very much. Grindr as well.

I'm not sure about Grindr. Grindr is right there. You can send it out on your account porn hub if you on your account again if you want uh so good to be with you it's always a pleasure to be with you sir if people don't know mike and i had a uh radio show for how many years like five years eight seven no like seven years yeah wow and how long we've been not doing it i don't know like three no i think because we've been not doing kbc for two i think 2016 was that we stopped i think it's about right so about three years yeah it seems right because we were doing kbc and loveland at one point for a while yep so all right now what do you do up

to these days where can people find you uh i uh at mike catherwood on Instagram and Twitter. It's very easy to find me, at Mike Catherwood. And then, you know, the developmental stages of my animated show are well underway. And then also my new podcast. I've been waiting for that for a long time. My good friend Rudy is about to make his break in Hollywood. Well, I've got some Rudy Instagrams, actually, I was going to get into tonight. Okay. Yeah, but tell me where you are first.

And then also my podcast with Jason and Katie Ellis called High and Dry is growing exponentially. You were saying that Ellis Mania was one of the best ever. It was. Last weekend in Austin, Texas, we had Ellis Mania 19, and it was awesome. It was just so awesome. We got Austin, Texas. It was just so awesome. Austin, Texas was just the perfect

place for it. I feel like there's a little bit of fatigue with Vegas. There couldn't be too much. You were telling me you thought it was the best place ever because there were multiple knockouts. There was a lot of knockouts. There's a lot of big boys, a lot of big dudes and they were really hitting each other very hard.

And just a good party environment. Everybody there wasn't trying to act too cool. They were into the goofiness. Jason okay? Jason's okay. Jason knocked a guy out cold and then got knocked down. He didn't get knocked out.

You know, he's healthy. And then also, I will be launching my newest podcast, Mikey Likes You, which is a health and fitness podcast. Nice. A very overall kind of comprehensive health and fitness. So it includes things like recovery and mental health as well as pumping iron and all the old conventional stuff. So we send out blasts to people at drdrew.tv and get people to the head of the line that get those blasts. So I'm going to get these people's questions right

away. So let's do that first. And then I want to get a Thanksgiving greeting from Rudy that I found on Instagram. He did come with me. Oh, he did? We'll either look at Instagram or maybe get a visit from him. Let me

see here. This is... Hold on a second. I've got to get these calls right. This is, hold on a second. I've got to get these calls right. This is, it's hard to find. Hi there. We don't have your name, unfortunately. Lindsay, you've got to put their names on there. Hello. Hello.

Hi, sorry. I was in a crowded group. So, my name's Cameron. Cameron, how are you? And I am a psychology major. I'm 19. And I have some questions for you, Drew, since you're very familiar with that type of area and such.

So, I was wondering, how do you handle so many people opening up to you and telling you so many traumatic stories from their past without it getting to you, if that makes sense? It's a very similar question to how do you drive an ambulance and see these things and not get overtaken by them, right? First of all, you have a job to do, right? Yeah, exactly. And if you are overtaken by what you are doing, you cannot do an effective job.

So you have to come up with some sort of strategy. And in medical training, you see way, way, way worse things than somebody just talking about trauma. So you get very used to dealing with people with end-of-life issues and horrible accidents. I mean, just people in their worst moments of their life, we're in there trying to help them all the time. And by the way, back in the day, we used to do that 24 hours a day exhausted, you know, we would still find a way to prioritize the patient and not really be worried about how we're feeling. And some people could be deeply affected by that.

I mean, that's how you get traumatized if you're not careful. The fundamental way to deal with people who are talking to you about tough things is to create a frame. And in order to create that frame, personally, I believe you need to do a lot of therapy yourself. So you do not get, you do not confuse or in any way become porous to that person's feelings you can distinguish your feelings from the other person's feelings and have compassionate and intense feelings on behalf of that patient but not be overtaken by and not be have a contagion effect does that

make sense absolutely i've been thinking about i would apply it to my life obviously i did not study psychology or go to medical school but in recovery you always run that risk you know when you sponsor someone or someone sponsors you right you're you're cognizant of the fact that you don't want to kind of enmesh your recovery with theirs exactly so for instance as a codependent excuse me as a codependent when i when i see cameron when i around somebody's having very intense feelings, it's easy for me to feel pain that I think is an identification

with that person's pain, but it's really my pain. Yeah. And that's not helping that other person. So I do a lot, a lot, a lot of therapy to tease that out so I could tell what my feelings were versus what the other person's were

and keep them always separate, but be willing to have a lot of feelings in that frame, but not be overt have a lot of feelings in that frame, but not be overtaken by them again. If that makes sense. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Okay. How do you distinguish,

how would you say you distinguish your own feelings from someone else's? Years of therapy. Years of therapy. And then like the same thing with a recovering person. You're the object by a sponsor of those kinds of scrutiny, and then after years of being the object of scrutiny by a sponsor, you then one day sponsor other people, and that is actually practicing boundaries

when you're doing it on behalf of other people, right? Absolutely. And, you know, you're kind of remiss in your duties if you don't engage in therapy yourself. Right. I agree. You're not doing the people a proper service. It's impossible not, if you do whatever your proclivities are, you bring to that engagement, you bring to that relationship. And I used to, having been on both sides of it, I was acutely aware that I thought I could have deep feelings. I could feel the pain that the person was feeling. No, when I got into therapy, I realized, yeah, that's my pain, my pain. But

now I see it all very, very clearly. But it's not an intellectual process. It's an emotional, experiential process. And also, I think it's, I'm speculating, but I think it's natural and a human kind of feeling or a notion that you're being callous if you're not incredibly empathic with your client because, you know, someone's suffering. And you want to be able to suffer along with them almost like on a human level. Yes. But in reality, that's probably the last thing they need. That's right. You know, they need a lighthouse.

They don't need another boat. That's right. That's exactly it. Or an They need a lighthouse. They don't need another boat. That's right. That's exactly. They're an anvil. We're an anchor, which is what you give them sometimes. All right. Let's talk to Rachel. Rachel, what's going on there?

Hi. Hey. Get it on. Get it on. Got to get it on. Got a mandate. No choice. Yes.

Yes. Yes, sir. I've had migraines for 15 years and I've tried amoxic I've tried

Botox I've tried Ingalaxi I've tried everything that you could think of for migraines

and I just wondering if there's any new treatments out there or anything else.

You said you've had Amavig, you said? Yeah. Have you had any kind of biofeedback, psychotherapy, anything of that sort? I've done a little bit of therapy with a therapist for migraines, but that didn't really help. Have you done any just general psychotherapy? No, not really. Did you have trauma growing? I did.

Okay. So what trauma does is it makes a part of the brain called the insula cortex go crazy. And if you don't go at that with trauma therapies, EMDR, neurobiofeedback, really neurobiological interventions, that part of the brain has real trouble regulating. It's very common. It's the misery part of the brain. Pain has two different components. Pain has a somatic component.

You hit your finger with a hammer, it hurts out here. But there's another piece to it, which is the emotional component, what we call the affective component, affective charge. And that's really where misery resides and all the anxiety and intensity. Go ahead. I also had a stroke back in 2004, and they said that I have lesions in my brain, and that could be the cause of it also. You had a migranous stroke.

That's what. Migranous stroke. That's what? Migranous stroke. Yeah. All right. But that's not an issue about the pain. That's an issue about the blood supply. How old are you? Okay.

How old are you? 37. 37. 37. And are you on anti-migranous therapy? I am. All right. I am.

I'm still on it and galaxy. Right. so that should prevent stroke it may not prevent the pain again you're trying to reduce the frequency and the intensity of these things and one of the things to do is these biofeedback type techniques neurobiofeedback EMDR these sorts of things can really really really help

and trauma wires your brain a certain way it just does it's fucked up too because um you're talking about somatic pain yeah and the great thing about physical somatic pain is that you're able to identify it and and categorize it appropriately meaning if you get shot in the stomach yeah you go fuck that really really really hurts if you get a paper cut you're like fucking all that hurts but i'm emotional pain psychiatric pain there's no control you can't when you have trauma your girlfriend dumping you in high school is the same as is the same as your parents dying in a horrible car accident you know like it's all

fucking just terrifying that's right it's all that same part of the brain that's firing off in ways that's not regulated do you have some of this do you be familiar to you does it feel like something you experience oh yeah yeah yeah i mean it's it's a lot easier now i mean the more you grow up and obviously the more therapy you receive the more real therapy where you commit to it and actually do the work um it gets a little bit easier to kind of identify the pain properly but i like i said when my girl uh says no to you on a date and at 15 that feels like i have i have terminal cancer right you know you're just like there's no regulation of that kind of fucking that's right and when you have been traumatized that's what that does to that part of your brain and your body. It makes everything extreme.

So if you're having migraines, I'm not saying she's not having migraines, she's having migraines and they are serious migraines, but the experience of them is overwhelming because of the regulatory problems. All right, we've got a bunch of questions. Oh my goodness. Oh, here's another sexual trauma. You want to try one?

Can I ask a real quick question? Yeah. Why does someone have a stroke at 37? One of the components of migraine is vascular constriction. Oh, that's rough. And so you get so bad. Again, I would need to really look at her records to understand exactly what happened there, but it can happen. Julie. Hey there. Hello, Julie. Hi. Hello. Hey, baby. First, I want to say, Dr. Drew, I'm such a huge, huge fan. I've listened to you since the Loveline days with Adam Carolla, and

I've just followed you throughout the years. I'm a very big fan of yours, and I respect you very much. Thanks, Julie. What's going on? So, um, I am in a relationship with, um, the father of my children. We have two little girls. We've been in a relationship for like 10 years now.

And even after 10 years, I still have trouble feeling comfortable sexually with my partner and like really just like letting go and getting into the sexual experience with him. How old are you? I have. I'm sorry. How old are you? I'm 31. Okay. And is there a reason for this? How old are you? I'm 31. Okay. And is there a reason for this?

Well, you know, I just feel like a lot of anxiety around sex. I feel like a lot of shame and a lot of embarrassment about letting go and being open sexually. Is there a reason? I had some sexual abuse as a child. Okay, what happened? And I assumed that that was the worst. And so what happened? Well, I was sexually abused by a friend of my father while he was in the military.

Oh, God. How old were you? I don't know, five or six, probably. Holy crap. Was this a one-time thing? No. He regularly babysat for our family. Oh, how awful. Do your parents know about this?

My mom does now, but she didn't, we didn't really, it was my sister too, my younger sister as well. How long did that go on for? We're probably stationed there for about a year, so. So have you had treatment for this trauma um well i have like done therapy inconsistently throughout the years um i haven't really dealt too deep into the sexual trauma side of things but well the thing about i mean it shouldn't surprise you that you have symptoms around this, given you had that experience.

So you had a horrible experience. You were not treated for it. You have symptoms, and that would be normal, right? And these are things that can be treated. There are all kinds of treatments available for this. And the thing that, the misconception that people have is that you have to go into and relive the trauma, which is not what needs to happen.

You need to have specialized therapists treat you so you can re-regulate your brain. It's about building regulation so you can tolerate something like an evocative circumstance. Yeah.

I guess my question is where do I even start? I feel like I can't express myself sexually in a comfortable, healthy way. Julie, you're focused on this symptom that's not going to get better until you get trauma therapy. Do you understand? What does that look like? That looks like it depends on what you need a careful evaluation by somebody who does this kind of treatment. Lots of people do it. It's very common.

Does that make sense? Julie? Are we losing her? Yeah, that makes sense. Okay. So you look for somebody with ideally a PsyD, a PhD, an MD. Go ahead. No, I was going to say, look, I dealt with sexual trauma early.

And I was in the same boat as you that I felt like the farther I got away from it, because I was young, like you. I wasn't as young as you, but I was young. The farther I got away from it and the more sex I had, the more I thought I could deal with it on my own. And I had a friend of mine who had dealt with the same kind of thing, was going through therapy and was a lot healthier than I was. He said, if you broke your arm and you learned how to live with the pain, would it make your arm reset and be okay? Or would you need to eventually have a doctor reset that arm so that it could grow back together and work

properly? And the same thing is with your brain, essentially. What you're missing, I think, Julie, is you keep going back to how can I deal with it sexually right now? This isn't about your vagina. This isn't about your man's penis. This is about your brain. It really is. And you need to take a step back and go and fix that bone so that it can regrow back together. Does that make sense? Well, here's a follow-up question, then. Because those things are all very valid and very very you know um useful it's useful information to have but

like without proper insurance and like um a way to pay for like care like that how does somebody who's like like me who's living like paycheck to paycheck and struggling to get by financially, afford to take care of themselves in that way. Do you have any insurance? No, none. No health insurance. Okay, the best way to go about it is to, is there a university or a medical school nearby? I mean, there's one in St. Louis and that's like about an hour away

it might be worth it to you to look into this because getting somebody in training to see you you can sometimes even do it for free and those physicians and psychiatrists and psychologists that are in training often have very good supervision and are actually quite good okay so that's a way to do it uh it's not it's like mike said you gotta sometimes you have to go after these things it's not like i can tell

you there's like a little recipe you can follow and magically these things are going to get better it just doesn't work like that right okay and it takes it takes work from you also you can't just sit in someone's office and have them talk to you for a little bit and then expect it to go, which I did as well. You got to kind of commit back to what you're doing, the therapy that's there.

And then also, there's national kind of resources that you can look into right now that might be able to guide you. What are you thinking of? I'll look it up. I was thinking of like SASH or anything dealing with sexual trauma,

something like that. Society for advancement of sexual health yeah that group uh s-a-s-h uh let's see i think it's dot net yeah i think so too anyway but but you know especially for young ladies um there's there's national kind of resources and organizations that have to unfortunately deal with the overwhelming amount of young girls out there like you who have dealt with this and are still feeling a repercussion. So it's going to take some elbow grease on your end. Can I just ask one more question before you guys let me go?

Yeah, go ahead. I have two young daughters, and I understand that being a young girl, like sexual abuse is such a prevalent thing in our society. It's just like, what, one in three, one in five girls will be sexually abused or assaulted in their lifetime, something like that. It's just extreme odds, and I'm just wondering, as a mother, what's the best steps I can take to protect my children? First of all, you're going to be preoccupied about this

because of your trauma. And all that anxiety can get transmitted to them. So it can have adverse influence on them in ways, even if you were able to protect them from sexual abuse, all your anxiety about it may give them some symptomatology also. The other problem is that when people have been sexually abused, they get attracted to people that are perpetrators. That's just a normal thing.

It's a pathological thing, but it happens from people that have been through these experiences. And that a pathological thing, but it happens from people that have been through these experiences. That's the greatest thing is to make sure you don't bring anybody around the kids. Anybody exciting, interesting, anything like that, that may be your trauma speaking to you. Be very careful with that kind of thing. Is that something you can understand? I understand. I have been attracted to people like that in the past, but like I said, I've been in a relationship for over 10 years

with the same person who's the father of my children that's all good I'm not worried about him I'm not worried about him I'm not worried about him I'm worried about somebody you know some other person in your life that you also think is great to be around and it's uncanny

how we bring these things back into our life we've had those traumas right yeah how much how often do we hear that on love line we're like every single night every single call how often did it happen in my life happened to you too yeah we we talk about it off the air i mean how many girls that i were so bad for me was i was like you know mesmerized by them be also julie oh look out for v-necks and Porsches. Any guy that combines those two, that guy's no good for you. This is Courtney. Courtney, go ahead.

Hello, Dr. Drew. I'm really excited to be on your show. I also, I wanted your thoughts on Suboxone. I am on, I was on methadone, 110 milligrams milligrams i took myself off cold turkey three months later i needed to be on suboxone so i'm on six milligrams a day now

my brother just passed away june 24th from a heroin overdose okay so it's a big deal i'm out in the midwest so i wanted to know your thoughts on Suboxone so I'm signed because I am generally I didn't go into addiction treatment to do replacement therapies I got into addiction treatment to do abstinence based therapies and we had great success doing that

really serious success people like Mike have these flourishing lives afterwards and so I am not a Suboxone fan. I'm not a methadone fan. I don't know how you got through life on 110 milligrams of methadone. I would be comatose from that much methadone. But I am a realist, and I understand for some people it can be very helpful.

It can be life-saving. And we have so many opiate addicts now that the only scalable solution we have is is replacement type therapies suboxone is much better than than methadone i have no i've zero relationship with that with the drug company or any disclosures they offer you i have nothing to do with them in fact i was championing that the that the legal system should go after them, which they finally did because there were a lot of excesses there that were questionable. And Breckheiser, what's the company? Whatever that British company was that makes Suboxone.

The reality is Suboxone is an excellent medication for chronic pain, probably better than any other opiate. And the fact that it's not used first line in chronic pain is mysterious to me in a day and age when it's in pain patients, people that have legitimate needs for pain can't get their pain meds. The government is pushing Suboxone on people. Why are they not using that as a first line drug more? There was a paper that came out just this week that said it should be used as such. It was a position paper.

I don't know. So I would certainly, if you're going to stay on it, try to get down below 4 milligrams if you can, or at least 2 4 milligrams if you can, and then I'm more comfortable with it. Okay? Sure. So I had another question about Kratom. Yeah. Have you been...

Bless you. Bless you. Excuse me. How about that? Yeah, well, Kratom is a weak opiate. Kratom, if you're a drug addict, you should not be taking Kratom. That will trigger you again. You and I have had this discussion at length.

Yeah. How's that going for the gentleman that was using the Kratom? Seemingly okay, but you've got to take Kratom all the time. I mean, look, my take on it as a drug addict is I definitely don't want people taking opiates because it's fatal. Right. But so if you're going to take Kratom and you stop taking Percocets or you stop taking Vicodin, fine. I am truly happy. If you're taking Suboxone for the rest of your life instead of slamming heroin, I'm happy.

Yeah, yeah. But the alternative to that is even better. Right. And it is a reality. I think that there's people who are in the midst of their addiction, and I can say this firsthand because there was a time and a place where i just didn't believe that that was true i did not believe there was any chance on this earth that i could live my life completely drug free right um because because i loved it too much you love drugs alcohol more than anything else i loved it more than life i would much rather die using drugs than be alive which is i i knew you would say that and that's what drug addicts experience you have to understand when

somebody's a drug addict that's what they experience so i just want to point out to to that glass caller and to all the other people who are saying it's like well i take kratom so i don't take percocets honestly great at least you're not going to die. But there is a world where you can take nothing. That does exist, and it can happen for you. Even you, the person who you think you're all alone, you think your story is totally unique. It's not. All drug addicts feel that way.

And the reason you go for abstinence is? There's a flourishing that develops. Go ahead. there's there's a flourishing that develops with it is a it it go i always say life as drug and alcohol free my life is harder but it's a million times better right it's way better than i could have ever imagined it being right it's you're you're actually fully present i am and uh and i and i never i just never realistically thought that that could happen. Yeah. Let's see.

Let's talk to George, see what he's got to say for us. Hello, George. George, what's going on? Are you curious? Yes, I'm curious. What's up, guys? How are you? We're good.

What's happening? Awesome, awesome. Hey, first of all, Drew, I want to tell you, I went to that show on Caroline in New York City. Great time. Thank you. See, my wife Susan put that on. It was great. Thank you for being there.

I appreciate it. That's awesome that you get to perform at Caroline's. It was pretty fun. Pretty fun. It was really cool. Actually, I was in front of Susan, my wife and I. She was awesome. She was awesome. and I. She was awesome. She is awesome.

How great was Rich Voss? Oh my God. It was incredible. I'm from Jersey and I never knew he was from Jersey. I thought he was spot on. He was actually spot on that day. He was spot on. I can't wait to see him. I hope he tours over here again.

We're going to go see him. Rich is a talented guy. Very talented, dude. I actually spoke to you. I actually spoke to you. I was telling you I was got you bypassed. I had lost like

over 300 pounds. I was telling you at the time I was thanks. I appreciate it. I was telling you about that. I I was, thanks. I appreciate it. I was telling you about that. I couldn't, I couldn't digest protein. Uh, the meat that you told me to grind it up and everything like that. And I don't know.

So far it's working. So far it's working good, but I'm actually, uh, I'm, I'm calling because for some reason, um, like, I don't know, man, like the past, the past couple of years, like the past two three years i've been getting really really sluggish like i have no drive um to uh you know like for anything you know like i'm having like you know anytime that we're you know me or anything like that i feel like i'm just beat and i have nothing to do. All right, George. Like, you know, and I was like, yeah, go ahead. So you're not just an average healthy person, right? You're somebody who's had a gastric bypass. You're somebody who's been struggling with weight issues.

This is actually rather serious. Do you have sleep apnea? Well, no, I don't think so. I never really got tested for it all right so i work around the clock i work around the clock my my sleep schedule is short yeah so you you identify the problem i mean here's here's the basic the basic thing i would look at just what do you do that's around the clock uh i'm a police officer. Oh, my gosh. All right, so your sleep work schedule needs to be dealt with. I mean, somebody needs to evaluate you,

understanding the sleep work problem. That itself can make you sick. Number two, sleep apnea evaluation. Even though you've lost the weight, you can still have that problem. The third thing, there can be all kinds of very unusual nutritional shifts do you have any dumping syndrome from the bypass yeah i get it um i usually get it quite a bit like i want to say like maybe seven eight years ago i went to my internist um my best friend is actually my best friend from grammar school is my internist okay and uh and he and he always runs tests i mean now he moved though unfortunately to clearwater but um he used to run tests and everything like that and

we had i was a borderline anemic and uh he put me on uh iron uh i mean look man there could be a lot of stuff going on here so there's something wrong with your iron absorption as a result of the bypass there can be fat issues in terms of dumping syndrome. You can have an issue with the building blocks of hormones, including testosterone, because of the bypass. And you might need some direct supplementation of all these things. So humbly, I would say, if you can arrange this, a general doctor, start with that, then an endocrinologist to see what's going on endocrinologically, and finally get a sleep study. You have that general doctor talk about the work-sleep schedule

and then get a sleep evaluation to see if there's really something going on there. There's a ton of reasons for you to be. It's amazing you go on the way you do. Hold on. Let me just throw this out there just in case right mike got something are you taking any drugs am i taking what drugs any drugs no no okay are you the only reason i ask this i have a lot of cop friends that are in recovery and it's a really fucking tough job it's a really tough job

and it's maybe the most high stress job in the world you know I had a I had a problem in the past you know like I had a stint with alcoholism but I haven't had a drop now gotta be

I don't know like 7 years oh good for you congratulations i'll tell you what after gastric bypass alcoholism explodes yeah it can be the way it hits your brain yeah yeah oh my god it can be terrible like i said i have i i had a therapist i i uh i dealt with a therapist for uh ever since like i started. Unfortunately, he passed away. I have a new therapist now. I'm standing on top of it. I'm the guy with the

twin and on top of it, I have five-year-old twins. Why are you tired, George? Why are you tired, man? You're a cop who never sleeps. You've lost a bunch of weight with dumping syndrome and twins. I can't imagine why you're a little bit tired. Oh, my God. I know.

I know, right? And I do an arcane, and I do an arcane maybe three or four times a week on somebody. So it's like it's crazy. Where are you a cop? It's crazy. But you know what it is? It's not. But you know what?

I just feel bad for my wife because you know, she puts it on her that she thinks it's her. Okay. Well, that's ridiculous. And I try, and I try to explain to her that it's not her. You ever,

you ever call me, you ever call me, I'll straighten her out. Cause women do that all the time. They blame, they blame themselves for everything. And this has nothing to do with her. Yeah,

I know. No, I, I know it has nothing to do with her. I, I know. I know it has nothing to do with her. I know it doesn't. It's just like... The reason why I called you is because I am doing all that stuff. All you guys

told me, minus the sleep apnea test. But I went to my GP. Actually, I went to my GP the other day and he took a whole slew of blood, and I didn't know about the endocrinologist. Well, start with your regular doctor, and see if he wants an endocrinologist to evaluate

you. I think that's a good rule of thumb. But listen, man, and also congratulations on being willing to take care of your mental health. I know police oftentimes have a thing, a culture where that's not okay, and you're doing it, and I hope you're an example to others because there's no reason you guys shouldn't have a chance to take care of common problems as well. No, no. George, I've got to take a break. Listen, I wish you all the best.

Doc, it was great talking to you. Mike, awesome. Thank you, dude. You're awesome, Mike. Thank you for all you do, man. And congratulations to you, dude. Thank you. You know what?

Honest to God, I'm going to tell you, I hear you all the time, and you're actually a role model to a lot of these people, and I wish that a lot of people could listen to you with all your positive vibes and everything like that, man. You're a cool dude, man. Thank you, dude. I really appreciate it. It means a lot. Well done, man. I'm glad you called. All right, so we're going to take a little break. When we get back, we'll take your calls, of course, at 9842-DR-DREW. And I want to do a couple things straight out of the break.

One, compare and contrast Masked Singer with Dancing with the Stars. Okay. Okay. And then I want a couple of greetings from Rudy. You got to understand, I don't know that much about Dancing with the Stars because I was on so short. It's such a short time. But we have an exact same experience. I was on a very short time on Best Singer as well. So we'll get into that.

Take a little break. Be right back. I just want to take a second to tell you about our friends at Social CBD. I get asked a lot about CBD products. Everyone's heard about it. But thanks to the variety of claims being made, it can be difficult to answer these things with certainty. We don't have the clinical science yet.

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Dr. Drew and Mike Hathaway. So we each spent a minute on one of these big crazy shows. Yeah. You were on Dancing with the Stars not very long. Three years ago? No, no. God. I don't remember. 2010 or something? Oh, is it that long ago? I know I was very single. That. I don't remember. 2010 or something? Oh, is it that long ago? Yeah, I think so.

Really? Well, I know I was very single. That's how I can remember. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. I was going to say, you said before the break we had very similar experiences. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. Meaning?

I was very busy not dancing. I see. Dating. I was. Sure, if you want to call it that. Interesting. You always hear rumors that if you want to call it that. Interesting. You always hear rumors that's what went on in that show.

That is not going on on the Masked Singer. Masked Singer, you are covered from head to toe. You don't talk to anybody. You're not allowed to speak. Yeah. Well, I know the same executive producers do Dancing with the Stars and Masked Singer. Really? And I know them very, very well. We're very close friends.

Really? I had no idea. Oh, my God. That's a gigantic operation. And I was like, you got to get Dr. Drew on Math Singer. And they were always like, that's a great idea. Maybe I'll reach out. That's a great idea.

The whole time they were fucking lying to me. Oh, that's really funny. Who do you know over there? Dina Katz. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Dina knew. Dina, yeah. Yeah, Dina do. Dina is the best. And Dina books.

Dina and her husband are very close with me, and I like them very much. She seems great. And she books Dancing with the Stars, too. I know that. Yeah, and Real Time with Bill Maher. She's like an empresario now. Oh, nice. All right.

So neither of us have much to report. I mean, it's a weird fucking world how can i how else to explain it i remember the premiere episode of dancing with the stars the season i was on uh and i did not take it very seriously because why you know it's i think honestly i'm not not to be disrespectful yeah more so it's like hey this this thing is a big crazy joke right like i'm not gonna try to win the mirror ball i want to have fun you know like let's make it let's hopefully some people laugh at me um so i'm up on the balcony overlooking like the orchestra and i look out in the crowd and i see my dad and i was like oh that's cool my dad's here and there's hugh hefner sitting next to my dad oh my god that's

so weird oh my gosh there's master p sitting next to hugh hefner and talking to my father wow what fucking world am i living in where my dad is talking to master p and hugh hefner and and then kim kardashian walks by and i'm like what the fuck this is so weird it's a bizarre bizarre world it is bizarre and those shows are extra super bizarre i mean you know running around in a costume and singing it's a very very strange experience yeah but fun really fun the best part about dancing with the stars besides uh the fucking was uh i i think we're on a youtube where you can't say words well the best part about dancing with the stars except besides the social relations was uh was um getting to know some of the fellow celebs that were because i yeah. Because I was on a particularly good year.

Like, I had awesome people to talk to and, like, get to know and screw around with. Oh, that's nice. With Sugar Ray, you were here? Sugar Ray, Jericho. Oh, yeah. Christy Alley. Christy Alley's awesome.

That's great. Heinz Ward is awesome. Oh, yeah. It was just like a good collection of people to bust balls with. All right, perfect. So, speaking of busting balls, your buddy Rudy Cisneros, Mike's friend.

How would you describe Rudy to people? He's a Mexican from Los Angeles. That doesn't really narrow it down, I know. He's a certain kind. He's a cholo. It's an urban chicano guy from from southern california it's a very um you know obviously hispanic people uh are well populated around this entire country but there's a very unique and very special kind of character that

is in southern california you have family members that absolutely absolutely reminds you of quite a bit and so i was looking around. I found an Instagram greeting. It's Thanksgiving is upon us. And I found a Thanksgiving greeting from Rudy. It's not this Thanksgiving. I'm not quite sure what's all going on here. But it was a Thanksgiving greeting.

I thought I'd like to take a look at it and see what Rudy's got to say about the upcoming holiday. So here we go. Happy Thanksgiving, fool. It's Rudy. I want to tell you what I'm thankful for for Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for, like, my wife and shit and, like, my kids. But more importantly, I'm thankful for Eva Mendez's ass. All juicy.

La, la, la, la, la, la. On a motorboat or butt juice. What is wrong with Rudy? What is wrong with Rudy? Fucking gosling. Puto-ass gosling. What do you have that I don't have, fool? Besides good credit.

So much for trying to... And a circumcision. And an Oscar nomination. And a house that's yours and not your grandma's garage. And a car without a duct tape window. Fuck. Dodger season tickets. Doe eyes.

Fuck you, Gosling. Go back to Canada, mouse-puto-ass bitch. Mickey Mouse Club, don't think I forgot. He's like a poet. He is a poet. James Joyce. He is.

Let me see. I have a couple other ones. I'm afraid of what he's going to say. We're trying to keep the language okay. He has a fake news one. I'm afraid of what he's going to say. We're trying to keep the language okay. Yeah. Oh, he has a fake news one. Do you remember that one? It is fake. There's a lot of fake news out there, and I didn't know it was as pervasive as I now know.

This is number four. This is according to Rudy, at least. So let's get number four up, the fake news greeting on Instagram. Fake news. What do we call this? Education? Education, yeah. Enlightenment. Enlightenment. Enlighten us about fake news um what do we call this a education education yeah enlightenment

enlightenment enlighten us about fake news the mainstream media dog it's all fake news and i'm like alex jones with gingerbread skin that's right fool i'm here to drop truth bombs the tabloids have you believing that gosling and Mendes, they're doing just fine. Do that again? Doing just fine. He's a big fan. Well, here's reality, fool. Oh, that's you. It's Rudy with them.

Gosling, go make another movie, fool. Shoot on location. Take your time, fool. Because while you're gone, I'm going to hit up some nitrous balloons with Eva. We're going to bump Roger and Zap. And then I'm going to hit up some nitrous balloons with Eva. We're going to bump Roger and Zap. And then I'm going to pull out my Aztec meat sword and deliver something she's been desperately needing. I didn't know you were such a fan of his band-aids. It's not your Canadian maple syrup, fool. It's my horchata.

Oh, Rudy's a good dude oh rudy oh his horchata and i don't think he means no a rice-based beverage does it mean some other type of creamy he um oh my god listen to the producers laughing susan likes rudy you know that yeah susan likes macho men you know she's she's had years and close to 30 years now dealing with this lace curtain wimp you know she likes for real i thought that was very funny so so uh now the other thing i wanted to play for you yes is uh a conversation i had with uh comedian, Kelsey Cook. Oh, okay. All right. She made a comment, and I was like, oh, okay. And there was all sorts of reaction to it.

Okay. And it reminded me that people need more Loveline-esque information. Yeah. Because she said something that we heard about, talked about all the time at Loveline, and people went, what? It blows my mind sometimes. So this is uh

number one this is multiple multiple find oral sex very unpleasant so the more multiple you come the more the oral sex becomes unpleasant but that's a very small percentage most women cannot orgasm with intercourse yeah require oral sex or some kind of direct stimulation interesting that's most i honestly can usually have about 10 in you're pissing people off now so so she has 10 per encounter and what's the matter mike you okay with that that's uh that's stimulating i hear you you're effective attractive young lady well the point was everyone went oh she's lying she doesn't know what she's talking about right so explain what we heard over and over again i love life some girls are multi-orgasmic and yes it's it's uh it's kind of a genetic thing yep

it made some it's just like you're either born that way or you're not you're it's like being left-handed right and uh it's rare but when it happens it happens i've encountered those ladies they are not the norm but it's way real and uh it's almost a burden at after because like at first it's very liberating because you're like i'm the man but after a while you're like jesus christ you know because usually the timing works out pretty well because when a man has one it's like usually it's like time to call a night but because so you kind of lead up to that and you can have like the however much time you can devote to a woman and then she arrives and then you can go okay now it's time for me to do my thing and we can have a good... If in 35 seconds she has four,

you're like, dude, what are we doing here? You know what I'm saying? Really, and they will often go till exhaustion. Right. Which now you have to... And here's another thing. Multi-orgasmic women, at least in my experience, are incapable of being quiet.

So even if you're like a young couple and your parents are in the next room, you're like a young couple and like your parents in the other next room you're you're done because he's like multi-orgasmic girls sound like they're getting gutted but like like at the end of braveheart all right then uh let's see oh how about incel want to talk about that yeah hell yeah. All right. This is, I'm fascinated by that. I'm really worried about that, to be honest. I am.

We talked about it on, uh, when I filled in for Crolla. Uh, Aaron, go ahead there. Hi, Dr. Drew. I've told you this story before, back when you, uh, stopped Loveline and started your first podcast, but I've, uh, experienced 25 years of involuntary celibacy i was molested when i was a kid and i was also raped when i had a older first cousin who was had access to me because he was my babysitter and he pretty much indoctrinated me with threats and abuse oh my god and then i think around eight until eleven about four years of that you know don't tell anybody

or i'll kill you kind of shit and then uh uh by 12 i think i reached the age of accountability and i tried to stop him and he injected me with heroin and he was he had a boyfriend with him so they gave me too much heroin and they had to give me cpr oh my god and then they took turns raping and photographing me at around age 12 my My God. So that was, you called that shattering. You said your childhood was shattering. Last time I talked to you. That would be the word. Yeah.

It's amazing. You sound as good as you do. Well, I've had 12 years of talk therapy, EMDR, EFT, and I'm currently under the care of two therapists called the soul happy technique.

They're trying to rewire my brain. Correct. Good for you, man. Something's working. Aaron, you can tell by talking to you something's working. Good, because my parents see the same thing. They said, whatever you're doing, keep doing it. You sound a lot better than you did 15 years ago.

Do you mind me asking? I hate to rip open old scars, but is your cousin behind bars now? What was the repercussions for him? When I told the family, I think Dr. Drew predicted it in his book, Cracked. When you go to tell the family, you have a second level of trauma to deal with. Yeah, sure. And I made threats to him like an idiot. And they put me in the mental hospital

for observation overnight. So he got away with it. So did his boyfriend. And I don't know where the pictures are. Oh, my. Well, I'm sorry about that, man. But at least look at this. Like, don't slap a gift horse in the mouth.

At that point, some intense psychiatric monitoring might have been the best thing you needed. Obviously, it didn't come about in a way you would like, but it could have been a saving grace. Well, I did clean up and got sober on February of 2002, and I had no relapses. So that's always good stuff for me, too. Not a boy, man. Congratulations.

Thanks. And so the celibacy thing, I mean, obviously I can say, well, I was traumatized. That's why I'm not getting laid. But it's 25 years of it. I don't know what's left. What can I do to maybe find a romantic female partner someday before I get, I'm 53, you know, getting old.

There's no reason, I mean, these sound like empty platitudes, but the reality is there's no reason you shouldn't be able to find someone, particularly given how well you're doing now. Usually, whatever it was you were experiencing that your parents were noticing keeps people at a distance, right? I mean, you really sort of weren't open to the possibility of a relationship. Now it sounds like it's something you could possibly do, but you're going to have to go out there and really,

I mean, it's going to take some work, right? You're not in college. You've got to go out and find people, and in this day and age, would the apps be a good way to go absolutely absolutely like uh i'll be the first to admit um i'm 40 um so when i started to like get interested in dating early 90s and stuff i looked at dating websites or it didn't even exist, dating services back then as something for the totally desperate. It was the dredges of the dating world. Not anymore. In 2019, man, there's no reason why you shouldn't just go get on Tinder, get on Plenty of Fish, get on.

And the beautiful thing is there's an array of services. You want to get laid tonight tonight there's a service for that if you want to try to find a nice young lady and develop a relationship maybe even date a couple date around and maybe get to know some women there's a there's a a an app specific or a service specifically before that my point being the world is at your fingertips literally it's right there at your keyboard and i i fully understand how you are reticent to dive in um even though you desperately want to you had a very very very very serious um amount of trauma oh boy and i get that i get how you're still a little bit you know gun shy but you're not that old

you're only 53 man not that old and 53 in the dating world nowadays you're you're you're in your prime and you're doing well psychologically you know so it's i mean these are everything everybody's pointing in the right direction and here's another thing and i'm listen this may sound like i'm fucking around i mean screwing around. I'm dead serious. Most 53-year-old men that are on dating websites have been run through the ringer and are now getting on the websites after their second divorce, and they've got kids,

and they've been dating around, and they've already gone through every younger woman, and now they're going to settle for someone their own age, and 53-year-old women feel that. And they've dealt with all the dudes in their affliction shirts putting preparation age on their crow's feet so they can try and look 25.

And the midlife crisis dude who's, like I said, been divorced twice. You are this kind of pristine, angelic dude. Unicorn. And you can be open about that. It's going to freak some chicks out. It's definitely going to freak some chicks out what is that it's definitely gonna freak some chicks out well dr dr drew once dr drew once told me that uh wait wait a couple months to tell them what happened to me that i've been treated for and everything is that still viable information uh i don't know about a couple months you may want to you know couple dates yeah

i mean a couple dates but sooner than later you kind of want to tell them that you're dealing with stuff i mean as they get to know you it's important part of you you don't want to hide it from them i think a couple months may be a little too long but you know not first date not first date well once somebody you're seeing and then you know each other and and you're in a perfect position to talk about it. You're in treatment, effective treatment. And I also, you know, I'm a college graduate. I have a master's, and I was in the military honorably discharged. Come on, man.

I've got a good history. I don't have any children. Aaron, you're going to be fine. Give us some feedback once you've had some success, and really focus on just spending time with people, just building relationships. It's not, don't,

don't, um, don't worry about it. Just enjoy spending time with people. That'd be about right. Yeah. And, and dude,

honestly, I really admire you. And I tip my cap to you because most people who dealt with the type of trauma that you dealt with are destroyed. They would crumble and the way that you were able to turn around and run back into the fire and put your life back together that way, joining the military, serving our country, getting a

master's degree, you deserve a real, real big round of applause. Like I said, I tip my cap to you because I admire you. This is Sam. Sam, what's going on there? It's an interesting question. Sam. Hi.

I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller. I listened to Love Lion back in the Adam Carolla days, so I'm a big fan. Nice, nice. So my question was just about, I've been reading about these trials they've been doing with psilocybin, with mushrooms, to treat treatment-resistant depression. I was just wondering what your thoughts are on trying to join one of these trials. Really, I like the way you asked the question.

It's an interesting way to frame it. I am very hopeful that hallucinogenics, particularly psilocybin, are going to have useful therapeutic potential. Exactly what it's going to be and what risk, it's still the Wild West. I do know I've spoken to people that have been using it in trauma therapy, sometimes with other plant products, and I am aware of the research being done on depression and end-of-life issues. And I will tell you the data looks good.

But, again, it's short-term data. The problem with my fear about hallucinogens are the more longer-term effects. So if you wanted to get involved... So the good news is you're not saying, should I take psilocybin, which would be a no, but you're saying, should I engage in one of the research studies that are out there?

That's a very interesting and difficult question to answer. It's a very personal question. How long have you been dealing with depression? Probably eight years or so. And have you tried everything? You had proper medical evaluations? You're taking care of yourself? Yeah.

I see a psychiatrist and a talk therapist and I'm on medication. So it's just, and now I'm at an okay point, but it's just sort of like this constant low-level depression that I can't really kick. Have you thought about ketamine?

Yeah. It's just very, it's very intensive and very expensive. Okay. But I have thought about it. So in transcranial magnetic stimulation, that's another thing is very uh seems very intensive and very expensive okay but i have thought about it so so uh in transcranial magnetic stimulation that's another thing where they use magnets to try to stimulate

the the chemical release in your brain so the things you're you're thinking about non-traditional therapy so you know ketamine has been approved and it is it does i've seen some great results from you've seen people have results from that yeah yeah so i've had some great results from it. You've seen people have results from that? Yeah. So I've had some excellent results from that. So that seems to be a very low-risk, high-efficacy possible intervention. TMS, transcranial magnetic stimulation, another thing I've seen, also expensive. So you're saying in terms of not having to spend money, you would be going to a research protocol that would be free. CBT works, man.

Yeah, it's more dangerous but you know it might be good it might be good I don't know that's a very personal okay how old are you? I'm 34

and what's your life like? you work in what kind of work do you do? you don't have to give me like the company but like what field are you in? sure I'm a software developer

married I have kids young kids how young? but like what field are you in? Sure. I'm a software developer. I'm married. I have kids, young, young kids. How young? Four months and three years. I would say if your kids were 12 and 16, I'd be like,

man, give it a shot. You're a software developer. It's not like you have to be, you know, you're not a cop or something, you know, or an airline pilot.

Yeah. But I, dude, with a four month old i wouldn't be trying anything yeah i think you got to really kind of be checked in yeah you can't be checked out well i mean yeah but again later maybe but by that time there may be some good data um we have another segment called don't ask dr. Drew. All right. I like that. Well, things like when I ask you about prolapse and don't ask Dr. Drew. What I'm talking about is apparently people are crowdsourcing their medical advice now.

Reddit. Look at this. Explain. Look at this. This is from UC San Diego. A new research study. Crowd diagnosis. Thousands seek out diagnosis from strangers

on social media sometimes to refute their doctor i and reddit is the destination so do we have a little intro to this segment let's do it that it oh there we go there it is so that aren't we clever here uh so here we got some stuff off Reddit to see what people asked. We're starting light with relationship questions. So here we go. You need a jingle for that. It didn't play. Best friend 44 kissed my husband.

Should I forgive her? We've been best friends since we were 14. She introduced me to my husband, and she found out her husband was cheating on her. She divorced him and moved in with us. Uh-oh. Oy vey. Last night we went to a wedding. Her ex-husband was there too.

She started drinking, then dancing with my husband, then she kissed my husband. My husband pushed her away and came to me. She was visibly drunk and tried to apologize. I was angry but didn't want to cause a scene. This morning she came to the door and apologized again begging me to forgive her i told her that i will think about it what should i do i'd forgive her she's she's going through a lot she's in a terrible place she was hammered she wasn't drunk i can tell you right now that woman

was s house she was blackout right okay and and i'm not that it doesn't justify it so what she did was way wrong. Would it be appropriate for her to look into maybe there's an alcohol issue here? Possibly. Possibly. Or the consequences. If this woman thinks that there is one,

she should make it clear that the consequences are such that she will lose this friendship. Yeah. And that if it's about the alcohol, she's got to make a change. Look, if she was in a good marriage, which she thought to be a good marriage and she was happy and she found out her husband's cheating on her and he broke her

heart like that that's earth shattering then he shows up at the wedding she sees him starts drinking to deal with the pain i she's you know i'm not making excuses i'm just saying the lady was in a in a bad spot here's another one my girlfriend sent nudes to a guy and then tried to hide it now she's apologetic but i'm not sure if I'll ever be able to trust her again should I try to work things out. I don't understand. She sent nudes. Oh, she's dating this man.

Yeah. And she sent nudes to another guy? Yeah, and tried to hide it. Oh, dude. How old are you guys? How long have you been dating? I'm guessing younger. Okay.

This should be a... Listen, if you're not married with kids, you're done with this girl. You're done. There's no... I never could understand... I'm with you 100%. Why people deal with dysfunctional relationships on any level when you're not married

and you don't have kids. You don't even need to call a lawyer. You don't need to do anything. You're just like, oh, well, I can leave? Okay, well, this is over. Because people cling. They get addicted to that person. They don't want it to end you know yeah but why okay the great the great adam carolla your partner for a long time yeah he always said if someone doesn't give you a paycheck and it doesn't make you happy why are you doing it right as an adult as a kid you got to do a lot of shit you don't want to do but as an adult if someone doesn't pay you and it doesn't bring you any joy,

don't do that anymore. And he's totally right. I completely agree. Completely. Okay. I've got a bunch of stuff here. Oh, my goodness. We also were going to come up with some Stinky Pinky just for old times.

Oh. I think we were even going to speak with a phone screener. Or is that part of the plan? Who, Lindsay? Lindsay, yeah. Lindsay K. Floyd. Yeah, Lindsay may be able to come on the air with us. She says she has thought up a couple of Stinky Pinks.

Want to explain what Stinky Pinks is? Stinky Pinky is a wordplay game where I, the host of said game, will give you two clues. Or actually, no. It's vice versa. Sorry. I apologize. It's been a long time since we played. You call up and you give us two clues and we

have to guess the answer to those two clues. They have to rhyme. An example would be smelly finger. the answer would be stinky pinky uh overweight cat oh excuse me overweight feline yeah fat cat so you can't use those words and you can you can describe things a little bit sometimes yeah either way you're describing to us one was two words that rhyme and we have to guess them. My favorite one was

emotional adolescent flying insect. What was it? Goth moth. That's pretty awesome. The greatest of all time is New Yorker alcohol cabinet.

What? Knickerbocker liquor locker. Knickerbocker Liquor Locker. Knickerbocker Liquor Locker is just otherworldly. All right, Lindsay, you got something for us? I think so. Can you hear me? Yeah. I'm going to rock you with Stinky Pinky right now.

Oh, my God. Okay. All right. I'm not as good as you, Mike, so just take it easy on me. All right. The first set of clues is locomotive downpour train rain yes okay all right the next one lager scary lager scary lager what's another word for lager lumberjack lager no not lager like that. Lager like alcohol.

Lager. Beer fear. Beer fear, yeah. Yes! Okay, this one is just for you, Mike. Okay. It's gas painting. Gas? What was the first one? Fart art. Fart art. Fart art, okay.

Yeah! It was just for me, and Dr. Drew got it. I know. You're supposed to be the fart master. I am the fart master. General, it's true. I'm going to try a harder one. Okay. Because I think the clue can be multiple words, right?

Yes, yes it can. Okay, all right. So Valentine's Day celebrates this and a holy bird. Holy bird. Holy bird. Holy bird. Love Dove. Susan from the Kina Gallery. Woo!

Woo! That's a good one. I love it. Love Dove. All right. That's a pretty good search. A couple more. How many more?

Give us two. Give us two. We're going to do a bunch of calls in a minute, but go ahead. Okay. All right. Something you get for Halloween and what your heart does. Something you get for Halloween. Treats, beets.

Yes. Drew's on fire. I know. Okay. I've got one more. All right. A primate and a masked animal bandit. A primate?

A primate. And a masked animal bandit? Yeah. She means like a primate. She means a raccoon. What with the... Yes. Hold on.

Hold on. Baboon raccoon. There we go. That doesn't rhyme, woman. Good job, guys. It's good enough. I'll take it. Thank you, Lindsay. That was a good sesh. It was not bad.

Okay. I'm not quite sure what this is all about, but let's see what Tony's got to say here. Hey, Tony. Tony, what's going on? Hey, guys, what's up? So my question is this. I know it's a little weird on your screen probably,

but basically I've been dating this girl for a few years who's basically got some bipolar in her family and avoidant personality kind of traits from what I've read. And she has a real tough time taking any responsibility in any type of, you know, conflict, argument, whatever. And I know dating these type of people is a horrible idea. You don't have to tell me that twice, but I do it because I'm a retard. So basically my question is, is there any way to get through to someone who has that true victim mentality and just has a really tough time taking any responsibility? So I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about. However, when people have a personality disorder any kind of personality

disorder one of the features is the inability to take responsibility or the ability to consider that anything that's happening in your life has anything to do with you they see everything as because of the world right because the world's a bad place, people treat me badly, it's your, whatever it is, the problem is outside of their body boundary rather than in here. So it's not really about taking responsibility, they just can't see it. And the part of

having a personality disorder is that inability to make that jump, right? And I think that's what you're talking about, right? Exactly. That's exactly it's a reflection for maybe my life sucks today because of something i did and not everyone in my family friends and co-workers is against me and that's how right everyone i know who's got bipolar borderline they all have that attitude it's always blown my mind yeah that's the borderline disorder and so you can't what you can do is do dialectical behavioral therapy with somebody like that to get them to see how this thing is operating it doesn't really make it go away you can't really make the

personality disorders go away but you can get the person to sort of understand where it's operating be more cognizant that you exist and that you have feelings, and to try to see, you know, to try to have a way of interacting with you that they're not, you know, sort of seeing it through the prism of that personality disorder, if that makes sense. Gotcha. Is that called dialectical therapy? What's it called? It's called DBT, dialectical behavioral therapy.

And also, for you, don't, this is for your peace of mind, don't get into it. Don't even fall into the vortex. Right. Because you stand to gain nothing. So don't even engage in those arguments. Don't even, you know, whether or not you stay with this girl for the long term, that's your business. But if you are, save yourself the grief because there's no winning. You know what I mean?

It's like negotiating with terrorists. You know? Yeah. You've got to learn to not – I don't know how somebody comes to terms with that. I think you have to tell yourself if somebody wins in an argument, the relationship loses. And if you want to have a relationship with this person, you have to see where the problem is operating and just let it go. Is that about where you'd say it?

And, you know, more power to you, man. Most guys would bounce. All right, that's good. Thanks, Tony. We're going to go on now. Oh, my gosh. Oh, this is a tough one. All right now. Oh, my gosh. Oh, this is a tough one.

All right. Tyrone, go ahead. Hey, Dr. Q. Thank you, guys. You guys don't know how much I appreciate everything you do. I just had a little situation at school. I'm from Massapequa, Long Island, and I go to school in Pennsylvania. And I came home late night, and I was brushing my teeth on my dorm room's floor, and a few boys came in to the shared bathroom area.

And all of a sudden, i was thrust into unconsciousness and and woke up on the floor with these men and they were black men i don't mean to be racist but they were they were masturbating over me and i was thrusted into unconsciousness what does that mean and ever since not even what do you mean thrusted not even to get into? Not even to get into. What does that mean? I was choked out, I believe. So somebody came from behind and choked you out? Yes, and I was sexually assaulted. And did you report it? I did not.

I did not because I was threatened. Okay. I don't know what you want from us, what we can possibly provide for you, I did not. I did not because I was threatened. Okay. I don't know what you want from us, what we can possibly provide for you, but you need to report that. That's the only... Well... I mean, that's the only...

You were gang... Essentially gang assaulted, sexually assaulted. That's, you know, there's nothing... Yeah. That's... Yeah. I would think... And I am bisexual, and I'm not.

It's just, and I haven't been able to sleep. I've been taking Xanax. I've been just trying to make my way, my grades have suffered. I'm scared all the time. Oh, God. I mean, look, you have to, at very minimum, you have to go get some treatment yourself, right?

At very minimum, student services, there's always mental health component. Go to student mental health services and at least discuss what happened. And then with that therapist, you will make a plan as to whether or not you're going to report this

and how you would report it. But how can you still live on campus? I'm concerned about that. What are you going to do? Just continue to be around? I'm so afraid. Potentially see these guys? That's fucking impossible.

I'm so afraid. I'm scared all the time. I have to use substances to get through. Yeah. Dude, you can't go on like this. Listen. I'm not an expert. I'm not qualified to give you any medical advice.

What, listen to Dr. Drew when it comes to that kind of stuff. I'm telling you, you need to talk to administrative, someone administrative at the school. So whether or not you report it is your business, but you say, I had an incident happen. I can no longer live on campus for my own security. I need to, there needs to be some type of an arrangement because I can't do this anymore. I'm going to fucking commit suicide. I think the way to... But I'm so embarrassed.

I don't know if I would go that far. I just feel so dirty. I feel so used and everybody looks at me funny and... How would anybody know what's going on? What do you mean people are looking at you funny? I just feel so dirty. I don't know. I don't know if that's my mental state all the time. I understand you feel bad.

You should feel bad after an experience like that, right? And scared. And scared. And paranoid. And have difficulty navigating through life after having been assaulted. That's just a normal experience. You have to talk to somebody. You have to talk to somebody. You have to.

Okay? Oh, my God. I just don't know what to do. I still feel so loose, and I just feel so, like, aloof. I just don't know what to do, Dr. Joe. Talk to a mental health professional immediately. This is not treatment. We're talking. We're not treatment. We're talking.

We're supporting you. We're changing ideas. You need to go see somebody and get proper care. If you had been in any other kind of a major traumatic incident, you would do it. There's absolutely no... The fact that you are not talking... Let me put you on hold. If you hang on until after the show, a few more minutes, I will talk to you.

Can you tell Lindsay I'll talk to him off the air? No. Just keep him on hold there. All right, let's keep going here. You know, you see it happen too often, and I hate that, where let's just for a moment pretend that call came from a girl yeah everyone listening everyone of us here we would all be like listen you have to go right the second call the police call the police but because it's a guy it's like well it's well you can do what you

need to do you need to talk to someone you need to deal with that but the reality is it's like you were fucking sexually assaulted by a gang of people it's this is needs to be handled right the problem with him you know filing a report i don't know how long ago that happened it was not recent right because he's already passed back home right is he still he's not at school no no he just said he was from there and he goes to school in pennsylvania i don't know uh and if he doesn't get support i mean he didn't he didn't go to an ER. He didn't collect evidence. We don't know.

I'm not talking about criminal activity or actions taken against him. No, I'm just saying. It should be no different than a woman. It should be the same. It should be, but everyone, including myself, it's like there's this weird thing where if it's not a female voice, you deal with it with a little bit more cavalier attitude. That's not my feeling, though. my feeling was he wasn't willing he was absolutely not he was threatened he does not willing to talk to my fear is he would he could be in danger i

don't know maybe he really is in serious danger he needs to get support first he needs to talk with get the therapist together and then together they should make a plan of what to do about this so it's like no there's no two ways about he's got to do that ashley go ahead yes hey dr drew how are you doing we're good what's happening i have listened to an old love line episode um and i must have been 15 years old but you had mentioned something about maybe a correlation between having night terrors and seizures and also i just got out of a really long 10-year abusive relationship where there was strangulation and had night terrors probably four nights a week and i wanted to know if it could be psychological or if it's physiological

or what you know that. That is trauma. That is the result of having the abuse, the domestic violence. Of course you have night terror. Of course your body is reliving this at every minute. Thank God you got out of there. That's the first order of business

is getting out. Yeah, are you safe? Yeah, I moved space away but um now he's you know threatening to take me for custody so i'm just like terrified that he'll have my children unsupervised at some point so it's kind of like a never-ending nightmare well again this is the same recommendation you need to see a professional. You need to get trauma therapy. And then that professional will be able to represent you on your behalf if this guy comes after the kids. Okay.

Okay. And there's a lot of women's support groups for victims of domestic violence. Oh, my God. I highly recommend that. What part of Florida are you in? Tampa. Oh, my gosh. There's tons of stuff there. Let me look some stuff up quickly.

It's that easy. Just go online and look up domestic violence. I'll look it up here. Whenever people perpetrate something like that on you, and look, I can't pretend to know what you feel because I'm not a woman and I've never been put in that situation, especially by someone that I thought I loved. I mean, that's got to be really hard for you. And I, look, I can't pretend to know what you feel because I'm not a woman and I've never been put in that situation, especially by someone that I thought I loved. I mean, that's got to be really hard for you. But when you're dealing with someone who perpetrates that kind of thing on you,

it's so natural to assume that your struggle is your own and you feel lonely and isolated, like you're the only one in the world that's dealing with this and it's really really really relieving to engage in conversations and be surrounded by people who know your experience and share that experience there are tons of places that can help you out for no charge okay okay the spring of tampa bay that's highly recommended are you safe inc is. Just all kinds of stuff. I'm looking at other things. Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence. I mean, just go online and call one of these helplines and get help, get support.

We have a help tab on drdrew.com. For domestic violence? Yes. So we have Domestic Violence Resource Center, which is 1-866-469-8600. And this is on drdrew.com. So if you just go to the top blue banner and push on help, and you need help with Al-Anon or counseling resources or teen life. Well, this is domestic violence, right? Yeah, and it's down there. We have National Domestic Violence Hotline,

so that would be a good place and also a resource center. Do you have a phone or computer? Can you just look stuff up online? Okay. Okay, let's do that. Let's start getting proper support so you don't have to live in fear and also aren't constantly revivifying this

trauma every night and not sleeping. Yeah, and I'm having to deal with the person still every day. They're calling me, harassing me. And Dr. Drew, he says that because of me, because I made him do those things. Right. Are you familiar with the cycle of domestic violence? It's because I love you so much. It's because you do the things you do.

You make me crazy. I love you so much. That's why I apologize, and I'm sorry. It'll never happen again. And then you walk on eggshells, and it happens again. There's nothing okay about any of this. This is seriously dangerous stuff. It's him. Yeah yeah it's absolutely him

there's nothing nothing your female romantic partner can do that justifies him striking you and hurting you and strangling you there's nothing there's nothing you could do okay so just erase that from your mind i know it's going to be difficult it's not something you can just you know a switch you can turn off or on. They wear you down so much. You start believing their nonsense. I want her to call the local Tampa ones. That's what she needs to call.

Get that support locally and start talking to these women. Good luck, Ashley. Thank you. All right. Heavy calls tonight, right? That was the craziest thing um about loveline when i you know in our time together i um because i can't experience i have no experience to draw on for myself i'm not a woman the women who are victims of abuse the way that they had like some like almost like a stockholm syndrome yeah it's

it's called it's a cult of two and i they're sucked into this thing you can hear about that or you can watch a scripted tv show about it traumatic bonding hearing those women say those things it was so eye-opening to me it was it was crazy and i i just it made me get like a like a deeper level of sympathy because it're so trapped, you know? It's hard. It's a weird intensity that they can't get out of. Very problematic. Okay, let's see what James says here.

James, go ahead. James? Hey, how's it going there? Good, what's up? Hey, man. Yeah, thank you so much for taking my call. Yeah, I lost my father when I was four years old. He was in a car accident, and my mother's still alive.

So now I kind of abuse alcohol. I take Adderall. I'm trying to, I've been looking at you a lot, trying to figure out how much, like how traumatic do you consider an incident like that or not? And would you connect what I'm, would you connect the substance I'm using now to that or maybe not? And if so, how would I get over something like that?

Well, I mean, look, even if the trauma of that childhood loss was such that it fueled your alcoholism, it's neither here nor there. You have alcoholism. That needs a separate treatment. Your alcoholism needs to be treated, regardless of the inciting influences. Then in the course of that treatment, you will get into some of these issues

and eventually deal with them if appropriate. What are you smiling at? I was just reaching for my bag, and I realized I thought I was going to do it slyly, and I did it like a decrepit old man. Do you have something to show us? No. Okay.

So immediately go to AA if you're ready and raise your hand and say I need help. That is what you do. If you have alcoholism and trauma, which many alcoholics have, first order business is to deal with the alcoholism. Okay. I see. I mean, I had no physical physical sexual but nothing like that but i mean the loss of a parent even considered like like where do you rank that on a scale of like so quote-unquote trauma or or not hey hey uh depends on the person james

there was a big problem with the star wars movies from about 20 years ago the ones with natalie portman all those because they were origin stories you know they were origin stories and all they did with the Star Wars movies from about 20 years ago, the ones with Natalie Portman, all those, because they were origin stories. They were origin stories and all they did, they were these movies. It was a collection of movies telling you where Darth Vader came from,

how he got to be Darth Vader, how Luke Skywalker got to be Luke Skywalker, how Obi-Wan got to be Obi-Wan. You know what? I don't give a fuck. I don't care. I just like to watch him take out

their lightsabers and cut shit up the same thing goes for your alcoholism i don't really care whether it was your dad dying when you were young which sucks or if it was uh you know your mom maybe not reacting to it well and then being abusive to you who knows it could be a myriad of things it could be nothing the point is is that i don't need your origin story of your alcoholism the point is you have alcoholism deal with it and you can't sort out any of that trauma until the alcoholism is dealt with we can't say anything about oh is that a big deal or is that not a big deal because right now the alcohol is the is affecting all of it okay okay and i don't mean i don't mean to sound is absence the only way yes if you're really

serious and alcoholic yes that is that is the only reasonable alternative but uh go go to some meetings listen to what they have to say and i don't mean to sound like a hand but i went through the same thing okay i went through years and years of like trying to get to the nuances of how i ended up being a daily drinker and drug user it's like really doesn't matter just deal with it you know you have a separate problem now now now if you've been sober for a long time you have been dealing with some of that other stuff absolutely but from a totally different perspective and it's so much harder than just getting smoking crack smoking crack so much easier with dealing with your problems i can imagine it's a little quicker meth is awesome and crack really effective meth is

awesome so says mike catherwood yeah Listen, man, we've got to wrap things up here. It is always great to work with you, and thank you for coming in and doing this. It really was my pleasure, man. It feels so good to be back with you taking calls. It's really good. For people who are still on cue, I apologize we didn't get to everybody. But

I'm going to see if there's any I can quickly deal with. Some of these are really difficult. These are more intense than radio calls. Does it feel a little more intense? I think people feel more comfortable on the internet. Is that right? Well, yeah.

Especially national syndicated radio. For local people on KROQ, there's a formality that goes with it. They feel like, I'm on the radio. And if you're not accustomed to that, that feels weird. Right. This feels more immediate, I guess. Yeah, this just goes up and stays up forever. If you did this on TV, no one would call. They'd be like, oh, my girlfriend broke up with me.

Should I get on a dating site? Isn't that interesting, right? There'd be no abuse. There'd be no addiction. Crazy. Because people are scared of TV. All right. So let's see. You can go to Dr. Crazy. Because people are scared of TV. Alright, so let's

see. You can go to DrRudowTV right now and sign up and we'll get an alert when we go live just like we have done here today. We appreciate those of you that did sign up. And then we'll have you first in line, which we did tonight. We do try to get as many questions as possible and as many as we possibly can, but the lines

do fill up, so I have an apology for anybody who does not get on the air. We appreciate you watching. We appreciate you listening. I'm being, I'm going to go to Florida tomorrow morning. Nice. And then I got to go to Baltimore and then I got to go to New York and going to be traveling for a while. So we're going to be a couple more weeks before we do our next show. A couple of weeks, two weeks before the next show.

But we really do people, this is fun, right? This is an interesting way. It's a great setup. It's a great show. But we really do people. This is fun, right? This is an interesting way. It's a great setup. It's a great show. It's a great format. And listen, for all of you who are wondering, there's absolutely no better person to be doing it than this man. No one's more qualified and no one's more adept at giving you the advice that you need with professional medical expertise,

but able to get through to you and communicate with you properly. So if you're thinking about calling, if you have a real problem honestly you should well i appreciate you being here it's always that i need that yin and yang to be able to get the information across i really appreciate plus with your personal experience stuff which you always been very kind about sharing whose alarm keeps going off the producers it's awesome uh again uh so we will again we just love doing the show. We love you guys being a part of this, and we'll do it again two weeks? Two weeks?

Yeah, three weeks. Two weeks. I'm still going to be in New York in two weeks. All right, we'll see. Maybe I'll do it from New York. Do it from the Big Apple. All right. Thank you again.

We'll see you next time. Hey, Dr. Drew here, and this is just a reminder that the discussions here are not a substitute for medical care or medical evaluation this is purely for entertainment and education we hope you learned something but see your doctor get proper medical care