Aware & Aggravated - 1. Social Media is Cancer

Episode Date: November 7, 2021

Exposing the false narratives of social media and why it doesn't feel good to be human. Welcome to Aware & Aggravated! ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE:https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi 👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/all-products📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp 🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY https://www.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/ 💎 1-ON-1 COACHING AND MENTORSHIP*Taking on new clients again soon.📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS https://leoskepitemplates.com

In true Leo fashion, I'm gonna start off the first episode of my podcast with a mother fucking trigger warning, okay? I'm making this podcast to talk about real life, real shit. The real struggles and what everyone's actually dealing with and what no one talks about, okay? So if you like the fake bullshit you see online. You're not gonna like this. Go live in your fake reality and stay in your little bubble over there because I'm gonna pop that motherfucker. All right, I'm not playing that.

I don't like the fake shit. So all you little trigger warning weirdos have been warned. No future episode will come with one, so get the fuck gone now, okay? And for all the people that are staying, love you. Okay, let's get into this because I want to start off my first episode. I'm just going to dive right into it. I want to talk about one of the main reasons people are dissatisfied with their lives.

And it's because social media paints a narrative of how things are meant to go or be or look. Okay? So no one posts what is really going on in their life. They post the highlight reel. Okay, we know this. People have talked about this before, but no one talks about, and I don't think it's been going on long enough for people to study the effects of it and how it's fucking people up. But But when people are posting a false reality online, you are subconsciously and even consciously sometimes comparing yourself to it and your life. Like you're comparing everything you do and everything you are and how you look to this narrative that is being shoved in your face every time you get on your phone. And there's a lot of bad effects to it,

but the dissatisfaction with your own life is like one of them because the subconscious part of this, like we don't realize how bad and how strong that is. Okay, I'm gonna give you a couple examples and they're gonna get a little bit more intense as we go. So let's start out with like examples of eating and dieting because we all see fitness influencers with the fucking ass holes out. They all look great and we want to look like them. Yeah, sure fine. They post their little what I eat in the days and they're eating all of this healthy

bullshit and they make it. it just looks so easy. Like, you have your little berries and your fucking oatmeal and you have a little protein shake and I know you're not satisfied, but they pretend to be, okay? They pretend that they're full. They pretend that they're happy eating like this. Sure, the long term benefits of being happy,

taking care of yourself, yes, sure fine. But nobody talks about the struggles of when you're doing it. So what I mean by that is like, no one talks about when you're starving or when you're fighting off the urge to binge or you're depressed as fuck. And the last thing you want to do is eat a goddamn bowl of oatmeal bitch. You want a cheesecake. Like no one shows that they even have the urges or the feelings that are not pleasant. The narrative that's being pushed online is not human. Like the people online that we see don't have feelings.

They don't want to binge. They don't get hungry. They are satisfied with the way that they eat and the same fucking thing every single day. They have no issue with it. So that, I just realized that right now. My fucking problem with what online is portraying is that you're not meant to be human. Or the human side is left out of it. Because everything is just perfect and pretty all the time. But yes, with working out, do you think these motherfuckers want to go to the gym every day? No, I hate going to the gym

Okay, no, I love it. I do but like no one shows the days when They're in their car having a fucking mental breakdown and they have to pick their self up Does their self-off make their self go into the gym and work out. And then there's days that no one shows, well I have them. I don't know if these fucking fitness freaks do, but I do. Where I don't know what kind of fucking asshole said, getting to the gym is the hard part,

bitch that's the easiest fucking part because I show up to the gym all the time and leave, working out to the hard part. So whoever tells you getting to the gym is the hardest part, they're a fucking liar, tell them to eat a dick. Actually don't, just sweat the way, don't to the hard part. So whoever tells you, getting to the gym is the hardest part. They're a fucking liar. Tell them to eat a dick. Actually don't, just sweat the way. Don't come at any hate.

But yeah, none of these hot influencer people, none of these people you're looking up to and trying to take advice from are real. No one expresses or shares or vlogs. Those fucking day in my life. A day in my life where everything is going fucking wrong. A day in my life where I'm human. A day in my life where I feel like dog shit and I don't want to work out and I ate a

Full cheesecake to myself like no one shows that and then now I feel guilt because I ate the cheesecake But now I feel like an imposter because I have to get online and post how hot I am but I can't post the picture That I take today because I look bloated because I hate the fucking cheesecake. So I'm gonna lie and post a picture from a month ago so everybody thinks I'm still hot. Okay, like as you become aware, you're gonna start being able to read through shit. So easy and I'm so frustrated.

So let's move on to the next topic because this one hits a little home to me with the eating and the working out. All right, that one misses me off because it does make you feel lonely. Like I feel like I'm the only one that struggles this fucking hard with eating clean and working out and being strict and having discipline with myself. Like it's not fucking easy. It is one of the hardest things you'll do. I swear, like breaking that habit that you eat in

and like counting calories, like I fucking dread it. I hate counting calories. Like I just wanna go back to the days where I could just sit down and just binge whatever the fuck I wanted to binge. Okay, and not even think about the goddamn calorie count. But now I can't not think about the calorie count. So I'm like, yeah, if I sit down and eat a whole cheesecake, I don't know why that's still my example for everything,

but I love a cheesecake. And I cannot have one as you can tell I'm feigning. Like if I sit down with a whole cheesecake, I'm like, that's like 3,000 calories. And I can't get that out of my brain, and it makes me not wanna eat it. So blessing into sky's short, but like the whole being responsible thing,

not being able to leave my brain pisses me off. Okay, next topic, because I'm over that one. Starting a business, okay? Everybody online is always on about fucking Amazon FBA, fucking start a business. Start this, start that, sell t-shirts in Amazon. Bungin, twitle your dick on fucking only fans. Like everybody talks about starting businesses, crypto.

I don't even know what the fuck crypto and the stock market is. I have no interest. But everybody's pushing that shit. No one explains how actually difficult and how many roadblocks there are from when you have an idea to start something to start taking your first steps and then getting that thing made to completion. No one has made, I'm gonna fucking do it. But no one has made that I've found that has like completely revealed everything about starting their business from how they got the funding, from how they got the idea, all the struggles they went through, how they got through certain things, did you have the permits, did you have, did you get sued, did someone steal something from

you? Like I want to know everything, how many companies try to fuck you? Because when I was making my app, I almost got fucked like three times. Like, you have to be paranoid. You can't trust anyone. Like, my hand, I have tattooed on my hand. Trust no one for a reason. Because every time I look down on fucking reminded,

people have their own best interests at heart. Okay? I need to remember that. I'm someone with like a genuine heart and I care about other human beings just because they're human beings. Okay? But other people don't. I want to hear your stories where you interact with these fucking people that try and fuck you in business, that try and ruin you, that will copy your ideas and then pay, they have more money so they can advertise more and it will beat yours. That's what they

do to me with my app because there's bigger apps that have more money so they can advertise more and it will beat yours. That's what they do to me with my app because there's bigger apps that have more money. I wanna know how you handle all that shit. I wanna know all your fucking, the doubt you had in your mind. I wanna know how you second-guess yourself. I wanna know that you're fucking human, you know? Like I wanna be able to relate.

I'm done with social media with like, trying to look up to people and shit. Nah, I want someone I can relate to. I want something that's some real life shit. I'm tired of like getting on my phone and entering a whole different reality. I don't wanna leave my reality anymore. I wanna be in it so I can fucking change it

and love it and enjoy it. You know what I mean? And social media is just taking me out of it so I'm fucking sick of it. Okay, so moving on to the next thing. Just another example, drugs. Everybody glorifies the fuck out of doing some drugs. Okay, even just drinking alcohol.

Like no one talks about the next day, how you wake up with the goddamn Sunday's scary's and you're anxious and you're texting all your friends. I do hate me, are we okay? Like, you don't know, like you just really, everyone's mad at you. I've not seen one person fucking talk about that. So that's where I'm sitting here.

I'm like, am I crazy? Because I'm the only one that feels this. Because no one seems to talk about it. So I'm sitting here left like, am I fucking nuts? Or is this normal? So if more people would fucking talk about it, we could all relate and we would all feel better because we know it's normal. That's a fucking after-effective drinking alcohol. Anyway, drugs, okay? No one posts the come down. No one posts

wanting to fucking kill theirself for three days after they do drugs. I just, I wish more people were open and honest about the way that they feel, but I understand it's not like It's like people don't want to post shit. That's not happy positive positive positive like yeah, I have positive focus But I talk about real shit too like I talk about all of life not just the positive aspects and I think people are afraid If they post what they're feeling and it's not happy happy like Chipper happy dick like they're gonna they're gonna lose followers People aren't gonna like it or whatever cuz I feel like that sometimes too like when I'm in a really long Negative headspace like it lasts for a long time. I'm like all right slow it down with the fucking sad posts

Like I get Them not wanting to post it, but people need to know like, what's up? Like what's actually up and what's actually going on. But my whole point with that was not like telling people to post that they're doing drugs. Um, post about how you feel. Post that you're sad. You know what I mean? Like it's okay to be sad, but not these fucking tick-tock bitches where they make that their only personality trait. I'm talking about genuinely express your feelings. Oh, speaking of feelings,

I got a bounce back to that. But genuinely expressing your feelings. Like, these little fucking girls, I mean, it's mostly girls. There's a couple of gays that do it too. It pissed me the fuck off. But they make like being sad and depressed and like having a hard life.

Like, that's their fucking personality trait. Like, and you're like, I don't do this. I don't say this often, but bitch, your life ain't that fucking bad. Shut up. Why? I know you're just,

I can see when people are doing it for attention or someone is just being genuine and expressing their authentic feelings. But circling back to the feelings thing. I'm expecting a lot of people because in order to be able to express how you actually feel, you need to be in touch with how you feel. And a lot of people are cut off from their emotions.

They don't understand what the fuck they're feeling. Like I used to be one of these people before I had my whole like awakening and whatnot. But I would only feel anger. Like that was my only emotion I could feel. It was anger and happiness. I could not feel anger. Like that was my only emotion I could feel. It was anger and happiness. I could not feel sad. I literally went to therapy because I was like,

I haven't cried since I'm like 12. I wanna cry. I have sad things happen. Like devastating things happen to me and not a single fucking tear. God damn desert in my eyes. Like I wanna be able to tap into these emotions. And then I had to go to therapy and not a single fucking tear. God damn desert in my eyes. Like, I wanna be able to tap into these emotions and then I have to go to therapy and wake up

and you have to like get in touch with how you feel. My point in that is it's a very complex process for what I'm asking of people by sharing their authentic feelings. You need to be in touch with the way that you feel, okay? Great. And then you need to be able to articulate that. So you need to be able to put it into words,

which is very hard, that's a skill. And then you have to have the fucking courage and the balls and not be wrapped up in your ego and the image you're trying to portray online to express it. So you need to feel it. It's like step one, you need to feel it. Step two, you need to recognize it, okay? You need to become aware that you're feeling it. So you need to feel it. It's like step one, you need to feel it. Step two, you need to recognize it. Okay, you need to become aware that you're feeling it. So feel it, become aware that you're feeling it. Put words to it. Understand how to express it.

And then have the balls to express it. Like it's a very complex thing. And I just feel like it's a very basic thing for myself because I'm at a certain point of like my emotional development that I get that. But I need to, like I'm looking back right now like damn I sound like an ass because I'm expecting a lot of people. But at the same time, go to the fuck up, go to the fuck up, get in touch with how you feel and goddamn talk about it.

Because I'm sick of the world the way it is. Okay, my next topic I want to talk about. I'm going to rant about the shit for a while. Going out, okay, you and your friends are getting ready to go out. Nobody posts the real life. These fucking bitches will post a pregame. I've been bitches before, okay? So like I'm guilty of it, but I don't, like I just don't post shit really anymore. I just keep it to myself

I save it to my memories. I like to have the memories. I don't need to share it because when I get drunk I'd be sharing too much and I think shit is just so funny and it's not and I wake up in the morning Like mortified about what the fuck I post you know it's not way that bad. I'm just the hard judging myself But anyway back to the bitches going out. I always say bitches like, usually it's girls doing this, but like guys do too. Oh.

Oh. Like when the girl, like say they're like getting ready with like just a bunch of group of friends, guys and girls, everybody's getting ready to go out, okay? So you're getting ready for the pregame. Nobody shows the fucking mess that everybody makes getting ready.

Nobody shows the chaos of everybody trying to squeeze into the fucking mirrors and everybody trying to get ready. Okay, you add that, okay, then you get to the pregame. Everybody's like trying to bum off of everybody else's alcohol. Like I always show up with alcohol because I'll be damned if I'm gonna go without. Okay, I always make sure I come prepared.

Like I try to take care of myself but I bring enough for everybody. That's just how I fucking am a Albanian all right But there's a fucking wreck. There are so many cups. There's so much shit that people Bring out and like fuck up for a pregame. There's shit left everywhere and oh now we're running late Everybody's running late so we don't have time to clean the house So we don't have time to pick up after our fucking self So when you get home the house is a fucking wreck where's my phone where's my keys where's my shoe like bitch you fucking should have

cleaned up and you'd know where all your shit was so go like the pregame okay so everybody's posting they look so hot at the pregame everybody's having fun everybody's cheering and then everybody wants to fight over who wants to order the Uber and who wants to try and squeeze 20 people like a fucking clown car And so long car because nobody wants to pay for the Uber. I had a paper the fucking Uber. Let's just go I'm sick of dealing with everybody. No one posts the actual frustration You got the one bitch that's running late got one fucking titty out Still trying to get ready. You got the other one that's like already too drunk at the fucking pregame

And then you got the other one that's like in the car, like fighting with her boyfriend. Okay, so now everybody's in the car, we're going to the club, everybody's at the club. Okay, the one bitch that was way too drunk, fucked up her outfit, she spilled a shed all over, she threw up, whatever she's doing. The other one that's fighting with her boyfriend

wants to go home early and she wants to leave. This other one's got drunk and now she's sad and she wants to go fuck her ex. Like, it's just a shit show. Like nobody posts that. All you see is all these people at the club looking hot, buying shots, drinking their drinks, taking their fucking selfies. Like, all you see is everybody looking hot.

You don't see what went into it. You don't see what's actually going on, you know what I mean? So that sets up a narrative of like, okay, so when I go out, it's just going to be hot and faint. And then when you fucking go to get ready to go out and it's a goddamn disaster, you're left subconsciously comparing, this is just a stupid example. But like you get what I mean. Like everything online, like all these fucking people on TikTok

I love the New Yorkers like the trust fund New Yorker kids that go out and all they do is party I fucking live for them, okay, but I cannot imagine how boring they are You know what I mean? Oh my god, here comes Kat She's lonely you hear She's just like me she needs attention I have a black cat and her name's Cat, but it's spelled with a K. Okay, back to the New York kids. So watching them all party and go out, it's like, honestly, my favorite nights and the

nights that I've had the best time, I have no footage and no pictures of it. So it makes me question, how much funny I'll actually have, and if you have time in your night out to Take your fun out and take multiple clips and make a fucking collage of your night. That's pretty cute Everyone looks hot. Everything looks fun. I just really do the most boring fucking people like they look so cool And I eat their videos up. Okay, touch a vibe session aesthetic, but like I would hate to be there I would hate to party with those people, you know, like I like to an aesthetic. But like, I would hate to be there, I would hate to party with those people, you know? Like I like to get ugly.

I like to have fun. I like when no one has their phone out because I don't want to see what I look like, you know? So that's just my low two cents about the low party shit. Okay, so the next topic I want to talk about is how it's so forced that everyone needs to make it on your own. You need to have it on your own, you need to be successful. Like, you need to have this image of like you got it all figured the fuck out and you're doing fine financially and you did it all yourself, yourself made. So the

reality is people are living off fucking credit cards and people are helping them out financially, but they're playing that fucking role online like They're having the fucking nice ass dinners. They're going out in their ordering drinks non-stop They're partying almost every day of the fucking week. They look cool. The image is upheld But babe, how are they affording it you ask? Most people are having help from their parents or someone else that is funding them or They're living off of a credit card and a credit limit Okay, none of their shit is actually paid off. They're not actually paying for any of the shit that they're doing You know like people buy and design are closed and shit they put on a credit card

Because you only have to pay the minimum payment before you get charged interest. But even if you get charged interest, you already spent the fucking money. So you have what you have. Like, I don't know how to explain this, but like, they're spending money that's not there is that they can't pay back, but they don't give a fuck. That has never sat right with me.

I've never once carried a credit card, like, balance in my life. Like that, I'm a rising rogo so perfectionist like it drives me fucking insane okay I have a really bad relationship with money and I have a lot of anxiety around it and I like to make sure my shit is paid off and I don't know but he nothing it stresses me the fuck out anyway these people are spending out of their means they don't even have means they have a fucking credit card limit and they're

spending it just because you have the available limit does not mean you have the funds to cover what you spend. So don't fucking spend it. But they have this image they need to portray that I made it on my own. I'm stiff, sufficient. I'm successful. Like bitch, you're not. You're fucking in debt. Sorry. Okay, so back like let me lean off of like talking shit on these people So let me give you an example of like the comparison thing So if I see someone that's my age and they're out and they're spending $100 $200 on dinner Three to four times a week and they're always out having fun drinking alcohol doing all this shit spending all this money and I'm sitting here like, well I can't

afford to go spend 200 hours on dinner three to four times a fucking week. Like what? How are you saving money and still doing all this? Like it makes me frustrated because I assume the way that I manage my money everyone else is. And that's where I go wrong is because I think that the way that I put a certain amount of money towards savings and I have a certain amount that I spend I think everyone else does that when in reality Everyone is spending not everyone, but these people like I'm comparing myself to could possibly be Spending their entire paycheck and all the money that they do make on these dinners They might not be saving anything. They might not be managing their money well. They might just be spending it as they make it. So,

the comparison shit really like fucks with me sometimes and I have to catch myself. And I have to like pull myself out of it and make myself aware like, hey, I don't know what's going on. I don't know if their parents help them. I don't know if they have a sugar daddy. I don't know what the fuck their situation is. I don't know if they're just like living off their paycheck but not saving anything. I don't know how they're managing their money, so I'm not gonna compare it, you know? But it is very frustrating to see people doing shit

where you're like, how the fuck do you afford that? Like at my age, I'm 23. Like how the fuck are you 23? A 14 XYZ, you know? because you can compare that to anything. But like it causes frustration for me personally, because I look at my own life and I get frustrated because I'm like, what the fuck? Like it's like a subconscious, why am I not there?

How are they doing that? How can I do that? Like it makes me feel less than because I'm not doing that sometimes. So like, the people aren't gonna post, oh yeah, I don't save any money and yeah, I have $20,000 of credit card debt, but I go out to eat four times a week. Like no one is gonna share the real life. But that's another example of the narrative that I'm talking about that everyone's painting. Like it's a false ass narrative and it makes everyone feel like dog shit,

but we don't know why we can't stop looking. Like social media is so fucking addictive. Like what we're seeing makes us feel like shit. So why do we keep looking at it? You know what I mean? I can't figure it out. I'm not a sainteess. Okay, I'm not running an experiment.

Don't ask me. Somebody else can fucking do that. Okay, like I'm just, I'm gonna sit in my lane over here and just fucking vent on my podcast. All right, I think this is it for my first podcast episode. So if you made it this far, hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for listening. Leave it like a rating if you want

and you can leave in the comments. Like if you do a rating, five stars, please, preferably. But you can leave a comment and like leave a comment of a topic you don't want me to talk about if you want me to talk about something. But I'm going to go deep into everything, like how I kind of did with this, like I'm not going to just scratch the surface with little bullshit, and I'm going to paint like a false reality. And I'm going to start sharing a lot of my own

experiences. So people can relate and not feel like asked about themselves. So yeah, that's it. Thanks for listening.