Aware & Aggravated - 10. Reset Your Fake Self Love. Hurt Yourself Like God Does

Episode Date: October 6, 2024

The perspective that will completely change the way you see self love, discipline, and motivation. Kiss laziness and limiting yourself goodbye.   Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi   Merch (NEW DROP OCTOBER 31ST):  https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/   My App Positive Focus: (Apple) https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 (Google) https://play.google.com/store/apps/detailsid=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1   FaceBook Support Community:  https://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref=sharehttps://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref%3Dshare&exp=7ffb&mibextid=I6gGtw   Business Inquiries: [e-mail] 

Hi friends, are you ready? Are you ready? This episode is about to change everything. I'm so excited. This episode is going to be about a whole new perspective shift and it's going to be a whole new mindset for you. And it's going to make self love and motivation and discipline click in a way like never before because it clicked for me. After you hear this episode, it's going to be very, very, very hard to continue limiting yourself or not living up to your potential. Like laziness is not going to be comforting anymore. It's not going to be easy to be lazy. So before you listen to this,

blow your laziness one last kiss. Goodbye. I kind of feel a little bad for what I'm about to do to you, but it's all for what's best for you. Everything is going to get better. It's just got to sting a little. All right. We have to start off with all of this by redefining love and seeing what love is because the title of this is reset your fake self love. There's a lot of people who teach you a lot of things that is not right. They are literally the opposite of what you're supposed to be doing.

I'm gonna clear it up for you. But the biggest thing here is I have to get you to see how God or the universe loves you. Because as soon as you love yourself, the way that the higher power that governs all of us loves you, that is when everything flips. That is when everything gets better. That's when you gag this shit out of yourself with what you could do with your life.

And your whole relationship with yourself changes. So I'm going to be using the term God and the universe interchangeably. You can call it whatever you want. When I say God, I'm not talking about the religious sense or whatever it is. It's like whatever it means to you. This is all you need to know. So with love, love is disciplinary. Love is looking out for what is best for something above all costs.

Let's say you have a friend in your life and they see you put on an outfit that's not good. It's not cute. And they don't tell you or they lie to you and say, oh no, you look great. You look fine. Or you do something stupid or you do something that Oh no, you look great. You look fine. Or you do something stupid, or you do something that's not in line with what's best for you. And this person just says, Oh no, it's okay. And they kind of go along with it to make you feel better about it.

People who lie to you to spare your feelings, do not love you. That is not real love. It might be their version of love, but it's not the version of love you need the channel into and tap into. Because this friend you have for them to lie to you about your outfit that you put on and are like, Oh no, you look great. You look fine because they don't want to hurt your feelings and they don't want to upset you or make you mad at them. What that person cares more about is staying in good standing with you and

making you perceive them in a positive way. They care more about not pissing you off and hurting your feelings. Even if you're doing something that is not good for you or is damaging to you or makes you look dumb, they care more about you feeling good about them instead of what is best for you. That person is not to be trusted. That is manipulation. That is not love. The shitty part about this though, is it flips toward you too. Like the way that you behave with yourself,

this is also going to make you someone who don't need to be trusted with you. And it's not actual self love because if you're doing things that you know are bad for you, or if you're doing things that are an exact contradiction or something that opposes what you actually want or are trying to achieve and you convince yourself it's okay to do that just to like comfort yourself and make yourself feel better. That's the same dynamic. That's prioritizing making sure you feel alright over what's actually best for you. That is not self-love.

So I know you're probably like oh what the hell hang on I'm gonna give you an example of this that illustrates it perfectly and I'm gonna tell you when to comfort yourself where it actually is a self-loving thing. So we got to get spiritual a little bit because we're talking about the whole dynamic of how the universe or God loves you. So God knows what you truly want and what is truly best for you. And it will withhold things from you that are not good for you or not what is best for you. So the whole time you've been feeling punished, you or are not what is best for you.

So the whole time you've been feeling punished, you've been feeling like something's against you, yeah, it's been you the whole time. You've been held back from doing the things you're not supposed to do. But let's say you have a dog and it's crying and begging you for chocolate. You're over here eating a piece of chocolate

and the dog starts wanting some, it's like, don't want a little tantrum because it wants some chocolate. You know, as a human being, chocolate is toxic to dogs. So you are going to withhold the thing that the dog is crying for. The dog is upset because it wants this thing it sees you with. You're going to withhold it because you know giving in to that dog's desire will harm it. Giving that dog the chocolate will be toxic to it. So it might be crying, it don't want a little cantron, be so upset.

But you're gonna withhold what the dog wants because of what is best for the dog. But the key thing here is the dog does not understand or know why you're withholding it. So what do you do? You comfort the dog. You pet it. You say, oh it's okay I'm so sorry you can't have it. You might give it a treat. You withholding it. So what do you do? You comfort the dog. You pet it. You're like, oh, it's okay, I'm so sorry. You can't have it.

You might give it a treat. You might pet it. You might give it a little affection. You comfort the dog while you withhold what is going to harm it that it thinks it wants. And this is the only time you should comfort yourself when you are feeling pain or feeling discomfort is when you are doing

something that is in line with what's best for you. If you're sitting on your ass doing nothing, being lazy, and you're doing the exact opposite of what you know you want to be doing, that's not the time to comfort yourself. That's the lying part of saying, it's okay. It's okay that you're doing this thing that contradicts everything that we want. You're only going to comfort yourself when you're choosing pain that gets you to where you want to go. Or when you're choosing pain of not doing certain things because you know that

they're harmful for you. That is when you comfort yourself. Choosing pain is my next point we're going into. This is something you have to wake up to and start to just own. You got to face it. You got to fucking hit it with your chest. You got to like stand up against it. You cannot avoid pain. Pain is all over. Every single decision you make, there is always an unwanted aspect to it. There is contrast in everything. To choose one thing. You're also choosing something unwanted in it. Also,

there are trade-offs all throughout life. So when I say you got to choose pain, you have to choose it. For you to be where you are right now and you're uncomfortable and you feel like you're limiting yourself and you want to make a change and you want to do something, it's uncomfortable and it's a little bit painful to be there because you know you want to do something better. But on the flip side, to choose to try and make that change, the unknown is very painful for some people because uncertainty makes them feel anxious and scared and that's a painful state they don't want to be in and they can avoid that pain by just accepting the pain of staying where they are. There is pain on both sides.

That's the thing you have to wake up to. Any feeling you don't want to feel, any experience you don't want to have is going to cause a little bit of pain, but you have to see there's pain on both sides. It's all about which one you want to choose. And I'm about to tell you how to flip experiences that are painful, where you don't perceive them as painful. But before I do that, you suffer for everybody else. You take on pain for people all the time. You deserve that same fucken respect. It's time for you to take on pain for yourself. You're doing it for everybody else. You have plenty of experience to draw from.

You suffer for everybody. You neglect this, you neglect that. You rise to the occasion for other people. You have proof. You can do it. And I kind of want to bark at you a little bit. It's your turn. You're going to start choosing pain for yourself. You do it for everybody else. Give yourself the same respect. That's another angle of a self-love thing. Enough with that. A lot of people say this, but it is your choice if you suffer or not.

And I was resistant to that for a really long time, but it's the truth. You have the full control of what you do with your focus and your attention and the perspective that you hold. You can flip a perspective anytime you want. If you are in an experience where you feel like you are suffering and there's no way to flip it, you always have control over the way you're perceiving it. So if you look for a different way to see it, it will not hurt as bad. But the amount of pain you experience comes from the meaning you assign to it. So an example is like soldiers out in war.

Like back in the old days you could say, honestly currently too. For a soldier to be out in the field fighting, battling about. And for the soldier to break his leg, he's soldier to be out in the field fighting, battling about, and for the soldier to break his leg, he's gonna be happy as hell. It's not gonna hurt. It's gonna be a pain where he's like, yes! Like, thank God. Because he gets to go be hurt and get taken out of the battlefield. Especially if someone gets their leg blown off. They get sent home. They're done. They never have to be out in the middle of war again. And I'm talking to like a world war type thing where people are forced to go out into the battlefield. So for someone to have their

leg blown off, there's going to be so much happiness and so much relief and so much safety that they now see is accessible. And it's not going to hurt as bad because of what they get from that pain. They get to be out of the middle of the shit show. They get to escape it all. They get to go relax. They get to go home. They get to go be set free. So the meaning they have assigned to that pain is not, oh this is so bad. It's catastrophic. It's devastating. They're focused on what they're getting with that pain and it hurts way less. A lot of these people don't need anesthetic. They don't need painkillers. They don't need anything because of how much emotional and mental relief they get with that pain. A personal example for me is my new tattoos on my hands. I have

to point them out because they're new. You see them but I used to have smaller tattoos on my hands, but I got them redone bigger and The entire time I was getting my hands tattooed and ain't fucking comfortable You got a needle going into your bone on your knuckles This is like the worst spot to get tattooed But for all 11 hours that I was getting tattooed these took 11 hours for the entire time I was choosing the pain consciously. I knew and I was reminding myself as it hurt and at certain points where I was like, oh motherfucker, I would just remind myself I'm choosing this pain. This pain is getting me

toward a desire that I have. I want my hands to look a certain way with my tattoos and this pain is my ticket there. I'm choosing this. I'm showing myself, I'll take on this pain for what it is that I want. If that's the cost, consider it paid. I'm paying it. And having that ability to just reassure myself throughout the entire time made it not as bad. And I would get to a point where I would just be like chilling and then it would start hurting again. And anytime the pain would get like high,

I would just reassure myself of that mentally and get my mindset right. And then the physical pain would decrease. Like I did not flinch. I didn't freak out. I didn't have to take a break. We just went straight through it. And that whole thing mentally is such a huge key with any kind of pain, especially if it's emotional pain, but it also works with physical pain. You can do what you got to do. As long as you have a way in your mind to reassure yourself and to see you're

choosing it, you're choosing the pain because it's getting you to where you want to go. It's making your pain be worth something. And that is when pain does not hurt so bad, especially like periods of loneliness. If you're choosing a period of isolation towards something that you want, it's not gonna hurt as bad when you have the clarity of why you're choosing it in your mind. You're not being punished, you're not being pushed into it, you're not being forced into it. If you're

choosing what you're doing, you're choosing that pain. So remember that. The fun part about this that I want to mention is when you get to a point where you can weaponize your ability to handle pain. You can literally start to weaponize how good you are at flipping an experience that is painful into one that is not as painful. You literally become unstoppable and start doing shit other people can't fathom doing because you know what's in your head and you can flip it. And you can transmute a negative experience that is painful and not experience it as painful as other people would. And everybody's going to be looking at you like, how the hell did you do that?

Especially when it comes to emotional things. But the way to do it is exactly like I said, you find any positive intent or any positive perspective about the pain that you're going through and choose it, choose the mindset that's going to allow you to choose that pain in a more comfortable way. I am going to warn you because this can be used as a skill to cope your way through unwanted experiences.

The only time you flip a perspective and you choose pain like this and you use this ability to not experience it as so painful is only when you're going toward what you want or an improvement. You don't use this, like I said, when you're not doing what it is you actually want to do or when you're limiting yourself or doing something to damage yourself. You don't get to bypass the pain when you're doing that because remember, it's not self love. It's kind of self betrayal.

Don't do that. Now we're gonna talk about the feelings and the emotions and the urges that come along with everything where you're like, oh these things ruin my motivation. These things take it away. Valid but not valid enough. Get a grip. So with all the things you feel, all the urges, all the emotions, everything going on, you know better than all of these feelings and sensations. Same thing with the dog, holding back the chocolate. The dog is throwing a little tantrum. It's feeling all of the emotions. You are the logical one.

You have this split inside of yourself with your logical mind and your emotional mind, your emotional body, some people like to call it. You can observe the emotions happening and you have to understand you are still in control. You still control the logical side. You know better than all of these feelings and urges and emotions. And that's when you have to choose to withhold the chocolate air quote. If you're listening to the audio version of this, you didn't see me just do an air quote. Also,

if you listen to the audio version, download the episode, helps me a ton. Rate me five stars too. So we already hit that you can't avoid pain, you can't avoid discomfort. So this is the part where it gets very, very important that you invest with discomfort. You invest the pain that you experience, you invest the discomfort that you experience. And then it turns into the pain of quitting is way more than the pain of continuing. And that's exactly where you want to go. The sponsor of today's podcast is perfect because we're talking about self-trust. And part of that is self-care.

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for 10% off. Now let's get back to the podcast. But when I say invest the discomfort, the first time you do it you get so much stronger, so fast. You get so much stronger because as soon as you see that you'll do it and you'll force through it or you'll find the new perspective that makes it not hurt as bad, you build that trust with yourself and you start to get excited. You're like, what the hell? You get way stronger. By being in the new uncomfortable state, you get better at dealing with it. The only way you're gonna find new ways and new ideas and new strength to adapt to it is by being in it.

The same way that being in the uncomfortable situation that you've been in with being unhappy with your life, with settling for bullshit, for not going after what you actually want, the pain of that, you know how to deal with it. You've sat in it long enough. You know the pain of limiting yourself. You know the pain of being lazy or just giving up on your dreams before you even get there and convincing yourself out of it. You've found plenty of ways to justify sitting in that and doing nothing. And that happens because of exposure therapy. You've been in it long enough,

you've been in that state, and you've found ways to feel better about the discomfort in it to a point where you're now comfortable in that discomfort. The same thing happens when you go into the new discomfort that you don't feel like you can handle yet. By sitting in it, you find all the new ways of how to feel better about it. The new perspectives I talked about. You find the new strength. You shock the shit out of yourself. You start to see improvements and you get real good at dealing with it and then it becomes not uncomfortable. It becomes a good feeling thing because it's no longer painful. You're stronger than whatever is going on.

You've been in that state long enough, you're now stronger than the pain that's in it. You kind of like pop out the other side of it and you don't see it as painful anymore because you're too strong for the pain to even hit. Getting to a point where the discomfort of progress feels better than the discomfort that you're so used to of sitting still.

Once you get into that progress discomfort, the first time you experience it and you actually go through with it and you're like, go through like the first day of trying to do something, you're like, what the hell I did it! And then you show yourself you're capable and then the next day to just sit on your ass and try and use all your coping mechanisms of like, oh it's useless, I can't do it. When I, you're not going to be able to use any of that to comfort yourself in the opposite of what you're actually trying to do. That's where I'm saying. It's going to kind of ruin your ability to be lazy. Sorry, but do it. Trust me, stick through it. Another way I'm going to word this.

So it really hits is the discomfort of disappointment is one that you know all too well. It's time for you to experience the discomfort of disappointment is one that you know all too well. It's time for you to experience the discomfort of progress and achieving things and having your life go good and being happy with yourself and loving yourself. It feels very uncomfortable right now but I need to wake you up to the thing that's comfortable for you is disappointment. Let's flip that. Next thing we have to hit on is your default ways that you talk to yourself. You gotta stop speaking shit over yourself, that ain't true. So if your default every time you're like, oh, I'm gonna go to the gym, is I'm tired.

If every time you think gym or go to the gym or work on my to-do list or whatever the hell you gotta do, if your first thought associated with gym is I'm tired or I don't feel like it or I don't have motivation, your first thing you're going to say is that you're like, okay, I'm going to go to the gym. I'm tired. Shut the fuck up.

All right. Don't speak that over yourself before you check in with yourself because a lot of the times you're not actually tired. It's just your default speech that you use to kind of like get yourself away from it or to feel better about not going. So when I say check in with yourself, when you think of doing something you got to do, like going to the gym, before you say I'm tired, stand up, wherever you're at, stand up and actually observe the way that you're

feeling. What am I feeling? Am I tired? Am I happy? Am I energized? Do I have energy to work on something else, just not for the gym? Or what am I actually feeling? And the other thing when you check in with yourself is stop all distractions. Turn off any music you got on, turn off the TV, turn off any noise, turn off any visuals, and just sit there with yourself for a second.

It takes three seconds. How am I actually feeling? Okay, I'm not tired. I'm just like not in the best mood to go to the gym, but I have energy. Okay, great. You're already better off than the shit you were speaking over yourself before. You're aware that you're not actually tired. So you don't get to get out that easy. At this point, we got to talk about how to communicate with the universe or with God in the way that they understand it and can help you.

So, like I said before, when you have these urges or feelings come up that rob you of your motivation or like you actually are tired, when emotions or feelings or urges are too strong they will give you tunnel vision. You will only see that. It's like the dog with the chocolate. The dog only sees the chocolate and it's over here crying about it. I just want the chocolate. God damn give it to me. If they could talk that's what they'd be saying but they'd just be I just want the chocolate. God damn, give it to me. If they could talk, that's what they'd be saying. But they'd just be, hey, hey. Yeah, they get tunnel vision and they only want that thing.

They are focused on that one thing that they want. And you will do the same thing when these emotions come up. So you have to observe and notice that you're feeling them and then say, hang on, wait, to still go with the example of going to the gym. OK, I'm tired. Don't pigeonhole and just laser in on that you're tired because then you will start to see everything that builds with it. Well, I didn't do my laundry. I don't have my outfit out.

Oh, I don't want to have to move the trash cans and like pull my car out of the garage. Oh, it's 20 minutes away. Oh, well, today just wasn't a good day. I feel bloated. Like you're going to start to see every single thing that compounds after that one thought of I'm tired. You will see nothing but more and more proof of that. So as soon as you notice how you actually feel if you are tired, stop.

Because you now have to communicate with the universe or God what you actually want. You can ask for feeling states. And this is how to stay on track and not experience the pain. Because you don't just want to bulldoze past yourself and say, no, we're going to the gym anyway. Some days you got to, but that's never worked long term for me. So if you're considering, all right, I'm going to skip the gym for the day. No, what is it you actually want? If you're considering throwing away the gym?

You're going to throw away the idea of going to the gym and say, I'm not going to go. I'm just going to skip because it gives you a relief from the thought of having to force through that action toward your goal while you're tired. So instead of throwing the thing away that you need to do that will get you toward what you want, you're going to get clear on the way you want to feel while you go for that thing. So you could say, I wanna feel energized. I wanna feel motivated. I wanna feel excited and inspired and encouraged

and supported to go to the gym. That's the action I see that I need to take for what's best for me. I'm trying to not have the chocolate and stay home. I'm trying to make myself go, but I don't really feel up to it. But this is how I want to feel while I go forward with that action and not eat the chocolate. That is when you are going to get the communication and get the guidance and support that you want. As soon as you clearly can communicate in the way that God and the universe can understand

is when they communicate back and they will bring in those feelings. This is the clarity you gotta speak with. Ask for the feelings you want to feel. I want to feel supported. I want to feel encouraged. I want to feel energized. Fuck. That is when this source of everything is going to see the exact shortcut to get you to feel how you want to feel, to get you on road with that action. The universe knows, God knows, you're withholding the chocolate from yourself. I'm going to pat you and give you a little cookie while you do what is best for you. That's when you get the encouragement from outside as well as yourself. This is when you start getting random ideas and thoughts and you might want to put on a certain song. You might get an urge to stand up and go do something. You might go start

washing dishes for some fucking reason but it's just getting you up. The ideas that you have as soon as you declare how you want to feel start moving you in the direction of that. You might not have to actually get up and do anything. You'll just start thinking thoughts, or you'll start having memories flash up in your head that trigger an emotional response where you're like feeling good and you feel better about something. And then you have another thought that leads into this trickling effect of you all of a sudden feeling a little bit more motivated and inspired. And you're like, hey, what the hell? I kind of want to go now. Done. So keep that in the back of your head and always know when you are doing the thing that is what's best for you and that is getting you toward what you want,

God will pet you like you pet the dog while you hold the chocolate. You will get the encouragement. It will come. It's not up for fucking discussion. That's how this goes. Because the universe wants you to get what you desire. That's the whole point of you being here. You're not here to suffer. You weren't put in this life to suffer. You were here to see exactly what it is you want. And if you line up with an experience that isn't what you want,

all that is is to give you more clarity and redirect you faster toward what it is you truly want. The universe is literally sitting there waiting on you to clarify what you want, how you want to feel while you are going toward your desires. That's the thing. The universe is there, it's ready. God is sitting there waiting on you. It's like, when you gonna tell me what you want? Shit, I'm here to help. I see you taking the actions you know you're supposed to take that are toward what you want. I want you to get what you want. So I'm going to help you. Tell me what the fuck

to do. How you want to feel. You see that you want to make this change or move or whatever it is. Tell me how you want to feel while you do it. Because then I can line it all up. It'll work. So that is the best way I've found to do it is to speak it. Literally speak how you want to feel. Don't give up on the action that you know is best for you. But if you aren't going to do something that you know is best for you, choose it. Literally choose it.

It's totally fine. You're allowed to take different actions, different inspired actions. You want to go do something else. You want to put your effort towards something else, do it, but choose it. Choose by doing one thing, you're choosing the trade off of not doing the other thing. And if that's not something that is aligned with your long-term desire of what you truly want, that's up for you to fucking just die.

I've learned the only time that you feel punished by a higher power or feel punished in life and feel like shit's just working against you is when you're not taking care of yourself. When you're not looking after you and you're not doing what it is that's best for you and you're not going for what you desire and honoring yourself and honoring the way that you feel and honoring what makes you happy, you feel punished.

But what's really going on is you're punishing yourself. So of course you feel punished by everything because what's punishing you is you. You're withholding yourself from the thing that you desire. You have a desire for a reason. You want whatever it is you want for a reason. It's because you're meant for it. It's possible. Stop with the whole convincing yourself

of all the reasons why it's nah and why it's not gonna work. The same way you can convince yourself against something, you can convince yourself even more powerfully toward it because you already have the natural inclination to do it because it's a desire that comes from in you. You already have that working for you. It takes a lot more effort to shut that down and cope with not going for it

That's when it feels like hell you feel like you're being punished because you are withholding yourself From what you want to do be or achieve go down the fucking direction You got the full power to full control you got to choose the pain that comes with it But like I said, it's not gonna feel as painful if you apply what I said in this episode. Just know, no matter how bad it gets or how much pain you're in, you're being called back to yourself. Part of you misses you. Part of you wants you. Part of you is so desperately hoping you will care about you again. And it's time to listen to that. And go get everything you fucking wanted. Go get it! A couple of updates before we go. Merch is dropping on Halloween.

Also, last week I mentioned doing the journal, like my version of a gratitude journal, not that typical bullshit, but my version of it. Enough of you said that you wanted it. I got enough DMs and enough comments about it. So I'm gonna make it. So it'll most likely come out in like November. So get excited. If this episode helped you and you liked it, leave it a little thumbs up and then share it on your social media.

Share it to whoever you think it'll help. I love when y'all make TikToks and shit with my podcast in it or like make a clip with like the sound on the back of it. It makes my heart so happy. Just know every time y'all post something and you tag me I see it. I like everybody's stories. I'd be up in everybody's business. Y'all think I don't see? I see. But if you're listening to this on the audio version

on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, remember, hit the download button. Helps me a ton. Five star rating. All the shit and shebang. Thank you so much. Love you. Everything else you need from me is in the description.

My app, my social media, the link for the merch. Don't click it yet, because the site's down. but I might release it a little early. We'll see. Stay tuned because at the end is when I talk to my people who actually listen to the end. I'll probably put like a early access code, like password to the website. We'll see. Also, one more thing I miss doing is if you listen this far in the episode, comment a tiger emoji because we got the leopard back. Comment a tiger emoji if you made it this far in the podcast. Show me you love me. Also leave a comment and let me know what you want me to talk about next week because I put these videos out every single Sunday. Also, if you're on YouTube and you're new subscribed,

y'all know what the fuck to do. I don't got to tell you every single time. All right. That's all I got for this week, but everybody be safe, take care of yourself, and I'll talk to you guys next Sunday. I'm so excited for you. Everything's about to get better.