Aware & Aggravated - 11. Feeling Valuable

Episode Date: January 16, 2022

Everything you need to know about your value. An episode full of harsh truths, a bunch of examples, and tons of new awareness. Watch the Podcast on YouTube!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtgs8c2Z_97gA_1TkJos18w/videosBook a 1-on-1 call with me 👇🏻https://leoskepicoaching.com/client-applicationSupport the podcast with a donation : https://www.zeffy.com/en-US/donation-form/46556b98-73da-47be-a3bd-a5646af9f8c5Instagram: @theleoskepiPodcast Instagram: @awareandaggravated TikTok accounts: @LeoSkepi@NotLeoForLegalReasons My app Positive Focus:Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp 

Hi friends, today we're talking about value and I have to hit you where it hurts with this one. This one's gonna suck and there's a lot of shit that you need to hear that you don't want to hear. But it's like having a wound and you got a bandaid on it. I have to rip the bandaid off so I can heal the wound, you know, I gotta like fix it. But I gotta cause you a little pain first. I gotta rip that fucking bandaid off and show you what you're doing wrong. So this episode is not gonna be about loving yourself. but I gotta cause you a little pain first. I gotta rip that fucking bandaid off and show you what you're doing wrong. So this episode is not gonna be about loving yourself. That can be a whole podcast in itself

because that's so promoted right now in the mental health community, field, social media. Every Joe Shmo is talking about how to love yourself. Little do they know they have no clue what the fuck they're talking about. That's not what I'm doing today. I'm not gonna like bully all of them. I'm gonna talk about value, how to feel valuable, how to see your own value and what

to do when you don't feel valuable. So to kick this bitch off, let's talk about affirmations for a second. So you know how everyone is telling you to like go get in the mirror and tell yourself good things about yourself. And they're like, okay, go tell yourself, I'm pretty. I'm valuable. If you don't feel that about yourself, when you look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that it's going to feel like a contradiction. You're going to feel like shit afterward because you feel one way and you're standing in the mirror telling

yourself something and it feels like a lie. It doesn't feel good to feel lied to. So if you don't feel valuable, don't go get in the mirror and say, I am valuable. It's invalidating. Something people don't realize about the whole affirmation shit is it makes them feel like they're doing something without actually having to do something. It's kind of like praying when people are like, oh, yeah, I'll pray for you. Like bitch, you just want to pretend like you're doing something and feel like you did something. You didn't.

So the affirmation shit. When people say, you go in the mirror and you say, I'm valuable. So you just get to walk off after that and be like, well, I told myself I am. So let's hope it works. Maybe if I do this for a week, I'll feel valuable when it's not gonna happen and it's not gonna work.

And you're probably gonna quit after day three because what the fuck? I've been there and the only way I can talk to you about all these things that I can talk about is because I have been there. I have done all the shit that people say to do and it just hasn't worked and then I've had to help myself.

So that's basically what my entire podcast is is me sharing with you what I've learned when everything else has failed. So don't think I'm like talking down to you, because bitch, I was the asshole in the mirror for a long time trying to talk to myself and like, tell myself I'm valuable, like it doesn't fucking work.

What you need to do instead is ask yourself, how am I valuable? Start asking the question of where is my value, how am I valuable? Start asking the question of where is my value? How am I valuable? And your brain is going to have to start looking for proof of that. If you just walk up to the fucking mirror and tell yourself a statement, I am valuable, there's no work to be done. You just told yourself a statement whether you believe it or not and you get to go on your way. You know what I mean? But if you ask the question, how am I valuable? You're going to start seeing it and then you're going to start feeling valuable because now you see things you didn't see before but you won't see

it until you ask yourself the question. You have to tell your brain what direction to think. So if you're in a place where you don't really feel that valuable, that's your first step. So something about me is I like external validation. I like for people to tell me I'm cute and to tell me that I'm smart and to tell me that I'm funny. And I didn't have that and didn't get that for so long in my life. When I went to my therapist when I was like going to counseling and shit, so long in my life when I went to my therapist when I was like going to counseling and shit. My counselor was always like, you don't need other people to tell you you're valuable, to feel valuable. And I was like, I know, okay, cool, but I still want it.

And she was like, Leo, you don't need to want it. And I was like, well, I don't know how to not want it. Like, I know I shouldn't need it, but bitch, I still want it. Like I want other people to see that I'm valuable. I want other people to like appreciate me. And she was like, Leo, that's the whole failure cup thing. Like you need to fill your own cup. And I was like, bitch, I don't want to.

Like, okay, I can fill my cup, but like I still want other people to pour into my cup. Like I like the validation and so many people make it a bad thing to want others to appreciate you. And I'm over here like no, bitch, I want that. I want people to like me. But fighting with her about that, push me to a realization of value is just dependent on what someone needs. So if you're looking to other people to see your value,

nothing wrong with it, you have no control over that because you have no control over what someone wants or needs. So if you can meet a need for a person, you're valuable to them. Or if you can help them get something that they want or feel a way that they want, you're valuable to them. So if you can help them get something that they want or feel a way that they want, you're valuable to them. So this is where your childhood could make or break you. Like it could have really helped you or really fucked you with the people around you and what they saw as valuable or not. Because if you weren't able to meet needs for them in the way that they wanted or you weren't able to be what they wanted you to be, you were sent the message, you're worthless.

So let's say there's a child that's born to a family that values sports and athletics and they want their kid to be like a fucking football player or a track star or tennis player or whatever they want. They want their kid to be athletic. The parent has a need of having an athletic child. If they were born a kid that is not athletic, they're gonna be fucking annoyed with it. They're gonna try and force it to be what they want it to be and no matter what that child does,

if they're just not good at sports, they're just not good at them. You know, some people are just awkward with their body and they're not athletic, some people just can't do it, and that's not wrong or bad. That's just how some people are just awkward with their body and they're not athletic. Some people just can't do it and that's not wrong or bad. That's just how some people are. Some people just aren't athletic.

So this kid that's not good at athletics is going to constantly feel like a fuck up to its parents because the parents want a football player. And if the kid is skinny and he's like not that athletic and he's not aggressive and he doesn't want to let go play football. He can try. He can force himself to try and do what he doesn't like to do to make his parents happy. And that's what you do as a toddler

because remember my one episode, I forget which one it was. I think it was carrying how people think. I told you, we're all wired for human connection and we're gonna do what keeps us close to others So as a kid if what you think is gonna gain you closeness from your parents is what you're gonna try and do So this kid that's not athletic is gonna go try and be athletic It's gonna take so much effort from him and it's not ever gonna be good enough

He's gonna fucking hate his life and he's never really gonna be that good And he's gonna feel worthless to his parents because all they want is an athletic kid. They don't care if their child is artistic. They don't care if the kid is creative. They don't care if he's a fucking math genius. What they want is an athletic child. What they got is not that. So the kid could have another talent

or something that they're really, really good at. And side note, every single person does have something we're inherently good at. I'll make a whole video about finding your purpose because that's what that is. Video, I meant episode, like a podcast. I'm making an entire podcast about finding your purpose. If the kid can't meet the need the parent has, the parent is not going to think the kid's valuable. At the core of it, I know people don't like to admit that and it's not good to say that you don't like your kid or you don't want your kid or whatever, but that's

kind of the way they're going to be focused at their kid. But this kid is never going to see its purpose. And the reason we all feel so fucking lost is because we're trained and formed into what society wants us to be or our parents like no one's trained and taught how to go in the direction of what they're naturally good at. So this kid that could be very artistic is gonna be expected to be athletic and he's not gonna be. But if your parents or the people around you growing up didn't see what you could do and what you were good at as valuable you were never taught to see it as valuable.

There are some kids that are able to be what their parent wants them to be. But like I said with this kid, if he's actually creative, but he forces himself to be athletic and spend his whole life playing football, he's never going to be fulfilled by it. He's going to always feel like there's just something wrong with him inside. He's always going to be unfulfilled. He's going to know he doesn't really enjoy it that much, but he's just going to know like that's, that's what feels good. And it like I'll just keep doing it, I guess, because I'm good at it. When in reality, you trained yourself to be good at it. And it's the thing that got you attention and closeness. So you've been, your brain's been been wired to relate the feeling of acceptance with doing

that activity. And some people might never understand that that's actually not what they're meant to be doing. They're just going to know that they're fucking drained by what they're doing. They don't fucking like it, but it gets them approval and so that feels good, but they don't understand why it feels good. So they're just going to think, okay, I guess this is just how it's supposed to go. I guess I'll just keep doing it because that's what they're taught. But you're gonna run into a wall one day when you fucking despise it.

And to stop doing it, you're scared you're gonna lose everyone around you. So then you're in a catch of like, keep being miserable to be connected to others or go do what I actually wanna do. Because how many football players and how many sports stars retire, bitch, and start doing some weird ass shit a lot. But my point with meeting the needs that your parents have, they're the first people to reflect to your value. And if you were born to a parent that didn't want a child and they abandoned you and you're adopted or you were dropped off at someone's house and you have different caretakers than your actual like

birth parents, your first signal you just got sent is that you're unwanted. So that's got major implications for what it does to your psyche even before you're aware of understanding what's going on. Like it fucks you up more than you realize. Like people don't understand, people think because the kid doesn't know That something doesn't hurt them. No. They they're subconscious and everything is aware

They're fucking body is aware when they are abandoned their body senses it their body knows their parents There's not much science about this. There's not much science about Consciousness because you can't fucking prove it. You can't touch it. So you can't experiment on it. They can do what they can, but technology is only gotten so far like no one actually knows how bad should actually hurt you. But your first signal sent to you by your parent is that you're fucking worthless, you're unwanted, and they got rid of you. That sends you the message that you have no value because something valuable is held on to. Versus if you were born to a mother

that wanted nothing more than to have a child. Like you wouldn't have to do anything special. You wouldn't have to be anything spectacular. You wouldn't have to put effort into living and feeling like you had to earn love and earn your being seen as valuable by somebody. Just being a child to a woman that wanted a child would make you feel so valuable.

You would grow up feeling so loved and so important and so worthy because just existing and being that child for that mother is enough. So it's just about the perspective and the needs and wants of a person. And your first real interaction with that is your parents and like your caretakers. There's so many more examples I can give you.

But one from my own life is my dad is an incredible mechanic. Like he's a car salesman, he's a mechanic, he has his own business. Like he's the best you can fucking find and Whenever someone can't fix a car they send it to him and he fixes it within a few minutes like I'm not Saying this to just like hype him up like I credit I give credit where it's due and he deserves so much fucking credit for the skills and the knowledge he has like he is so Fucking talented when it comes to cars.

It's insane. But it's like if my dad, if what he wanted was a son to carry on his business, I would be perceived as a royal fuck up by him. I would be perceived as having no value and like I'm worthless. Luckily, he does not want that. He doesn't want no one to take on his business. He wants it to die with him and I'm fine with that because I have no fucking interest in cars.

I could give two shits. As long as the fuck can get to me from point A to point B and it's black and it looks cute. I'm fine. I know basic repair is a basic maintenance on cars and shit because you can't not when you're born to someone like that. Um, but my point is, maintenance on cars and shit, because you can't not when you're born to someone like that. But my point is, if my dad had the need of, I want my child to carry on the business, my son,

and he was born a son that was not able to meet that need, that child will always feel worthless. I know that's like a broad statement to make, but so much is going to get reflected in my life that I'm not what he wants. I'm not of use when I'm not good at memorizing what car is what and when I'm not good at fixing cars and I don't have this just motivation to go to work with him and learn about all this shit. He's gonna focus at me with an attitude of irritation

and annoyance and like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like, you're supposed to carry on my business. Why do you have no interest? You know what I mean? Because what I'm good at is seeing different perspectives. I have this weird like ability that I just see different realities and I see sure that other people don't see. So you can tell from my podcast that my brain works in a very complex way.

I'm very big on emotional intelligence, meeting people's emotional needs, seeing people in their pain, offering new perspective, solutions, shit like that. I'm good at being like a critical thinker and solving problems. That is my main fucking thing that my brain just does on its own. That's kind of like my specialty, where my dad's specialty is cars and everything to do with them. Mine is a lot different because my dad is not aware that human beings have emotional needs.

Like he, he doesn't get it. He doesn't like operate like that. He doesn't have the understanding of certain things that I have a great understanding of like it's just so funny If you look at us because if you put him and what I do He would have no fucking clue what was going on and you put me in what he does and like I have no fucking clue It's going on. It's like two foreign languages, but me and him are both good at such different things But if you're born to a parent and you're not good at what they want you to be good at,

and you never find your thing that you're good at, you will always feel fucking worthless because that's the message you were sent for so long by that parent, like something's fucking wrong with you. But the perspective about people finding what they're good at and that being good or bad is really just depends on who you're around, who you're born to, the environment you grew up in. Because being good at what I'm good at and my brain working the way it

does has never been seen valuable by my dad. He doesn't really like get it. Like he appreciates my smarts and what I do and he appreciates my podcast for what it is. He hasn't listened to it But he like he gets that I'm making an impact He understands the concept of my app. He appreciates that I'm doing my own thing He allows me to do it and he supports me doing it

But if I didn't have a parent like that and I had someone that was trying to steer me in the direction of You need to take on my fucking business. Fuck all this mental health shit, that doesn't make fucking sense. And I was just like, okay, so I abandoned it all, or I never even got into psychology in the first place, and I was just trying to force myself to learn cars, I'm gonna be fucking miserable. And like I said about the football player, you're just gonna feel like you have something wrong with you.

It's not gonna be easy, you're gonna fucking hate it, you're gonna hate your fucking life. Like if I had to go work on cars every day, I would kill myself. I would not wanna fucking do that. If I was taught against that, and I had to go run my dad's business, I would never be as good as him,

because that's something he genuinely enjoys and something that he loves. So when he does it, he's extraordinary at it. He's okay with putting in the time and the effort, and everything it takes to be so good at what he does. It would take so much more effort for me, and it takes to be so good at what he does. It would take so much more effort from me and I would never be as good. And if I was able to be as good, it would take so much more energy from me and I would

hate my fucking life. So being born to a parent that doesn't see what your interests or your talents are as good or like valid, if you're born to a parent that doesn't see that or appreciate that, you're never going to be taught to appreciate it. You're never going to be taught that you are capable of doing something valuable. And part of the reason that I'm so independent and smart and self-sufficient and I seem like I don't need people is because that is something my parents needed from me when I was younger. They needed a kid that was self-sufficient. So that's what I had to become.

They needed a kid that didn't need them. It's kind of like how I am with my cat. Like I don't want a fucking pet that needs a lot of maintenance and don't fucking bother me. Like take care of yourself, let's hang out, be fun, be cute. Like do your thing, I'm gonna do my thing. That's kind of like how things were for me growing up

with the adults in my life. Not even just my parents, it's like all adults. It was like the fact that I had needs was annoying. And I didn't really feel useful of meeting people's needs in my life. And what I mean by meeting needs is like being of use to them. And I'm not saying that was all the time. There was so many great things about my childhood and so many things I'm thankful for.

But like an overall theme or a consistent theme was it was annoying for me to have needs. So I had to adapt and learn to meet them for myself or pretend I didn't have them. That was like my developmental years was like just stay out of my way, mind your business, do your thing, I'm living my life. That's kind of how things were when I was like 13. So that's an example of your parent having a need of you not being in the way. So if you are a needy kid and you aren't able to meet the needs for yourself, your parents gonna get mad at you because what they want is for you to say the fuck out of their way. But that bites you in the fucking ass bigger than shit, because when your parent wants nothing more than just to be left alone,

because it kind of sends you the message that you don't really have value, because if someone is valuable and something worth appreciating, you'd want to be around them, you'd want them in your life. You would care to meet their needs, you would care to make sure that they were all right. Like I said, I'm going to do a podcast about finding your purpose, but I have a journal prompt in my app. So like a bunch of questions to ask yourself that is going to help you see your value. My app is called positive focus. And the prompt that I'm talking about is labeled find your purpose.

So the questions in that are going to help you see the way you can offer value to others. It's really going to help you see yourself in a different light and it will totally make you see shit about yourself that you did not even see was valuable. It'll help you a lot, but it will also help you get closer to finding out what your purpose is. So it's good for both things, but it's really, really good for seeing your value because the perspectives I shared in that and the questions that I put in that are what I learned to get where I am now, to go from not appreciating anything about myself to seeing things to appreciate, like thinking I had nothing to fucking like offer that was valuable to feeling valuable,

and not even just to offer, like just being, like my analogy with being born to the mom that just wants the child, just to have a child, like to just have that unwavering, unconditional appreciation for something. I didn't think I had anything that was worth appreciating. So definitely check that out. If it sounds like something you're interested in, I'll put the link to my app in the description of this podcast,

or if you wanna search it in the app store, it's in the Apple App Store and Google Play. It's called positive focus. It's just the blue eye. That's what the icon is. It's a blue eyeball. So get it if you want it. And let me know what you think. I really hope you like it. Okay. So like I said, value depends on needs, what someone wants and needs. I'm going to give you another example. Hookups, if you are going to meet someone for a hookup and that person is only looking to get their dickwit, that is all they're going to see about you. So when you go hang out and you go fuck them because you wanted to hook up, you go fuck them. And then you leave and then you're wondering why is this person not acting like I'm God's gift to fucking earth? Especially if they're a little bit uglier than you.

You're gonna be wondering like why the fuck are they not chasing me. I'm the best thing that just happened to them. Why are they not like trying to eat my ass every fucking day? It's because all they wanted was to get off. They were not looking at you for the other things that were valuable about you. So they didn't see any. Like they were just looking to get off. You were an object to them. So this will completely fuck your sense of like value and self-esteem if you let it. Because if you let a ugly motherfucker like hook up with you and then they don't chase you around afterward

and you're secretly hoping they will, and then they don't, oh my God, you have to realize what that person was looking for and what they needed was to get off. That's what they wanted, that's all they were gonna see. They were gonna see you were hot and you were good enough to do a job, you did it, you're gone. You met that

need. Okay. You were valuable for that. Now, if you're secretly hoping they'll like see how great you were and then want a relationship with you or pursue you more or want to do this that and the other, they're not going to. They did not see anything else about you besides the fact that you were something to get off on. They were not looking for how you were a genuine person or how you were considerate or how you were sweet or looking at how you were smart and how your brain worked and any other fucking thing that could make you like feel valuable. They were not looking for it so they did not see it. They did not care. And that will leave you feeling like you have no fucking value and like you really aren't that special If you look at that experience like that Like I said my dad's good at cars and I'm good at emotional shit

So it depends on who needs what if someone breaks down on the side of the road. I am useless to them I mean I'm good to hang out. I can like help protect you But I'm not gonna fix your problem. My dad is the one to call. My dad is the motherfucker that will fix your car and get you on the road. What you need is your car fixed. He's the guy that can do it. He's valuable to you in that moment. I'm worthless. But if someone is going through something and they need emotional needs met,

I'm the motherfucker to call. My dad is useless. It's just about who needs you. But someone with their car broken down on the side of the road is not going to give a fuck who comes by if they're not a mechanic, like they're not going to be looking for their next partner or someone that could be there for them emotionally or someone that was so great or this and that. Because the problem they're focused on and the problem that they have is that their car is broken down. They're looking for a way to fix it. They're blind to anything else. Most people. But what they're focused on is not me.

Like they're, they want a mechanic. They don't, it doesn't matter how good I am and how gifted I am at psychology and like being there for people and seeing different realities. It doesn't fucking matter. So they're not focused on it like with the hook up thing It doesn't matter how great you are if the person just wants to fuck that's all they're gonna see is that you're something to fuck They're not gonna see oh you could potentially be a great partner That's not what they're looking for when they go looking for a partner Then they might think of you and be like oh oh, well, that bitch had all this, this and that. So maybe I should hit her up, you know, but they're not going to realize it in the moment

when they're focused on one need. If you're faced with situations where you are not the one people ever need, you're going to feel worthless. That's why it is so important to figure out what the fuck you're good at or to use any skills you do have to be able to provide value to others and to help other people. That's where yourself a theme is going to come from. That's where your sense of value is going to come from. Because if you don't know the way that you can help, you're not going to help and people are not going to know to reach out to you or ask you for anything and you're going to feel fucking worthless. But you

don't always have to contribute to be valuable. Because or ask you for anything and you're going to feel fucking worthless. But you don't always have to contribute to be valuable because like I said, remember if you were born to a woman that just wanted nothing more than to be a mother, any child she had would have been valuable to her. So you don't have to be doing things to feel valuable. But that's just one way you can get that feeling. You know, like there's two ways to go about it. But the one in your control is what you can do for others and what you can provide. So since I just brought up the whole hook up analogy, it takes someone of value to recognize

value in someone else. So if they don't have it in them, they're not gonna fucking see it in you. An example of this is basic consideration when you meet somebody, or if you're interested and you're gonna date, if someone is inconsiderate, they're not gonna see the fact that you're considerate as valuable. They're not gonna give a fuck. And they're gonna leave you on red and be rude

and like flake on plans and be just really inconsiderate Someone that is considerate Will appreciate the fact that you are considerate because they have it and they can see it and can appreciate it So use that as kind of like a reference when you don't feel valuable to somebody Let that be a red fucking flag to look at them a little bit closer and see what they lack because if they're not seeing the value in you, they don't have the same things that you're able to contribute and offer in them. So don't get caught up with trying to figure out why you're not good enough, why they don't like you, hold the fuck on for a second and look at, hey, maybe I might not like them.

Maybe they might actually not be shit. Because someone of value is going to see your value and make you feel valuable. So don't attack yourself. Don't try to beat yourself up and figure out what's wrong with you. Nothing. They don't value the thing that you have and that's okay. Not everybody's going to, but there are people that will and the people that will value what you have will value it so much fucking more than the people you have to convince to value you. And if you are questioning your value, I'm sorry, because that means that you've gone through your life where people have not reflected it to you or you've lined up with a lot of fucking

people that don't value what you have to offer. And I'm here to tell you, it does not mean you have nothing to offer. It does not mean you're worthless. You just been around the wrong motherfuckers for way too long. So start looking for the things that reflect your value. And I am going to make fun of social media really quick and make you aware of just one extra thing. And social media is not the place to do it. Because social media reflects only one type of value, mainly, and it's the way that you look, or how much money you have.

Don't get too caught up in letting that be your only source of like reflection of your value, because it's skewed and fucked up, but it does feel good sometimes. So this next example I'm about to give you is something that ties in all the points I'm trying to make with this episode. Pretty much. And I really like it. It's kind of wacky, but me and my sister came up with it a couple of months ago and I think it's fucking perfect.

So here it is. So let's say we're in Walmart and someone left their Birkin on one of the shelves. If you don't know what a Birkin is, it is one of the most expensive handbags in the world. So let's say there's a fucking black crocodile Birken on the shelf. There are around a hundred grand. If you're in Walmart, chances are a lot of people are going to be walking by that bag and have no fucking clue what it is. They're not going to give it a second glance.

When they walk by it on the shelf, they're not really going to look at it. They're not going to pay attention. They're not really going to look at it. They're not going to pay attention. They're not really going to give a fuck. But if I'm in Walmart and I walk by that bag and I see it's a motherfucking crocodile, Birkin, I am not leaving that store without it. I'm still in that motherfucker. I sure am. I would most likely look in the wallet and get the ID and find whose

person is and fucking give it to them. But I'm still taking that purse, even if I take it and like go home with it, I'm still gonna have it for a couple days and just play with it while I find out who the owner is. You know, bitch, but my point is people in Walmart that are walking around have no fucking clue what a Birken is, most of them. They don't understand that there is a $100,000 bag

sitting on the shelf. It takes someone with certain awareness of something's value to be able to recognize it. Because everyone that doesn't understand that's a Birken is not going to look twice at it. Me? I'm stealing it. So let's go into the perspective of the Birken. Let's say you're the Birken sitting on the shelf and you know you are $100,000 and you're watching all these people walk by you and not even like look at you twice.

They're not giving you the time of day. They don't even give a fuck that you're there. They're acting like you're nobody. If you're someone that feels very valuable and you know your value and you're surrounded by people that don't see it, you're gonna question it. So if you're the Birkin, you're gonna be like, man, what the fuck? Like I'm crocodile.

Like I'm a crocodile Birkin. I'm not a leather one. Like I'm not 10 grand. I'm a hunter grand. I'm a fucking crocodile Birkin. And people are not even looking at me. What the hell? Like you will sit there and you'll start getting dust on you because people just are not

picking you up. They're not like understanding what's in front of them because you're not meant to be in Walmart. You're not meant to fucking be there. You are meant to be at a mall. You are meant to be in the fucking Hermes store. You are meant to be where people can see your value. So get the fuck out of Walmart. If you're in a place where no one is recognizing your value, leave.

Go to where you can be recognized. Now let's talk about if someone that doesn't understand that it's a Birkin just takes the bag. They think it's a little $50 purse and they fucking go home with it. They're gonna trash it. They're gonna fucking throw it around in the car. They're gonna throw it around in the house. They're not gonna be jins with it.

They're gonna set it on the floor when they go to a restaurant. Like they're just gonna beat the bag up and not give a fuck. They're going to mis-treat it because they don't know what the value is. And if you are the Birken, I know it's an inanimate object, but like, here the example out. If you're the Birken, you're going to be being mis-treated by this person, like, what the fuck? Like, I am $100,000 and you are treating me like I am fucking five dollars. And human beings in the position of being the Birken, which is what you are, you're going to start questioning your value and people treating you like your average long enough will make you believe your average. So this Birken will get beat the fuck up. This beautiful hundred thousand dollar crocodile Birken will be fucking demolished

by the person that does not appreciate it and understand the value in it. Versus if I walked in that fucking Walmart and I found that burkin bitch I'm taking a home and putting it in a dust bag I'm putting it on the top of my closet I'm fucking taking care of it I'm babying it I'm wiping any speck of dust off of it I'm not letting people touch it no one can hold it without a glove like I'm gonna baby the fuck out of it and treat it so valuable because I see that it's valuable. But when it comes to people seeing your value, if you're the Birken and Wal-Mart.

So if you are something of high value in a place where people are not seeing the value, the chances of someone walking in and understanding that you're valuable are low. It's not zero because I go to Walmart sometimes. Bitch, if I saw a Birken and I saw your value, I would snatch you. I would literally steal you in 2.5 seconds. So there's always a chance for someone to see your value, but you need to put yourself in the positions

where it can happen more often. Like I said, the Birken needs to be at the mall because it will always feel valuable in that place because it's gonna be surrounded by people that recognize and know the value of it. So there's never no hope, no matter where you are. Like even the Birken and Walmart, put the motherfucker in Dollar Tree.

The chances are slimmer, but someone still might walk in there and see the value because I go to Dollar Tree. I do want to point out that there are so many little things that are valuable about yourself that you overlook on a daily basis. So, one of the best things you can do is look at yourself like you're meeting yourself for the first time. What would you appreciate about yourself? If you were going to be friends with you, what would you appreciate about yourself?

Like what little things and what little quirks do you have where you'd be like, oh my God, I would think that was so cute or I would love this so much if I found this in someone else and then do it from a relationship standpoint. So do it from like you're dating yourself and look at all the little things that you would love to date someone that has these things that you have. And trying to look for how you're valuable and things to appreciate about yourself will make you see the value. And then once you see the value, you can't not feel valuable anymore. But I do need to give you a big fat fucking warning. And it is about realizing your value. Because if you've

lived so long of your life not seeing certain things about yourself as valuable and feeling kind of like worthless when you become aware of the ways that you are valuable Everything in your life will have to change and I mean everything so if you start realizing You actually are a lot more valuable than you've thought and there's so many little things about yourself and you appreciate so many things now. If you're dating someone that treats you like shit, it's going to become a lot harder to stay with them. Like I said, it's all fun and games until you gain awareness.

It's going to now be miserable to be with this person. You're going to be like, why the fuck are you treating me like that? But all that happened was the mindset shift of you became aware of your value. So you're gonna turn on that person. No one knows you just had this revelation about all the things that you now see about yourself as valuable.

So your partner's not gonna know anything has changed. So the way that they've been treating you, that you've been tolerating, they're gonna expect them to change it now. And they're going to be like, what the fuck? That's one of the warnings. Another one is your job. Another one is your friendships.

Another one is your family. Anyone around you that treats you anything less than what you now feel worth. You're going to fucking hate and you're going to have to get away from. So this comes with the price. You have to be willing to pay the price of changing your entire life if you're gonna start going down the route of trying to value yourself and see your value. You're gonna realize that you were the $100,000 Berkin that went home with a crackhead and now they're throwing you around and beating you to shit. They're not seeing the value in you.

And now once you realize that and you're like, fuck no, I should be at the mall. You're gonna have to go to the mall. You're gonna have to leave these relationships and get away from these people that are treating you like shit. But like I said, you're not aware that you're being treated like shit right now. Once you start questioning things is what you're gonna realize, yo, I've been treated like shit. But like I said, you're not aware that you're being treated like shit right now. Once you start questioning things is what you're going to realize, yo, I've been treated

like ass. That's why I don't value myself because I'm around so and so. And they treat me like this and I've thought this was just okay and normal and I thought I deserve this. You're going to get a lot more picky with the way that people talk to you. You're going to start wanting to smack the fuck out of some people and trust me, I've been there. I've smacked the fuck out of plenty of people in my day and I will continue to do so. Like, bitch, I don't give a fuck about how spiritual or how aware that I get. Sometimes a motherfucker

does need to be hit. Sometimes violence is the only answer. Sorry, it's the truth. So let's say you do start doing all this, then you're going to get to the point where you're like, okay, for me to value myself and choose myself and see what's valuable about myself, I have to be alone. You're going to realize everyone around you is not worth you or has not been treating you how you're worth. And if they don't decide to like treat you better, then you're gonna want to say the fuck away from them. So then you're gonna get into the internal conflict. And this is something no one fucking tells you about and no one warns you about. But I will.

You might start resenting yourself. And that's normal because you're gonna be like, God damn it. Like, why can't I just tolerate being treated like shit anymore? Because now I have to be alone. Like picking myself and valuing myself. Now I'm anymore because now I have to be alone. Like picking myself and valuing myself, now I'm alone. Now I have nobody. But like I said, in order for you to go back into the way that you were treated before, it's going to feel like shit. So now you're going to feel stuck in a situation where you're like, I'm alone and I feel like shit, or I can go be with the people that I know and feel like

shit is just which feel like shit do I want to choose. And I'm here to tell you that there's an extra option. It's to go find people that will value you. Go to the mall. If you're the Birken, go to the mall. That's where all the people are that will value you. So when you start realizing all these things about yourself that are valuable and you see all the ways that you can be of use, go be around the people you are of use to go find them. They're looking for you. Just like all of you were looking for someone real and someone who was going to tell you the fucking way it is, you were looking for me and the people that need you are looking for you. Trust me. You just have to go find them, get creative, start thinking of all the people you could be of use to.

So remember when I said I'm gonna hit you where it hurts? This is where I'm gonna do that. So if anything I've already said so far has hurt you, put on your seatbelt bitch, because this is the part that's actually gonna like hit you where it needs to. So, remember when I talked about affirmations and telling yourself in the mirror, I'm valuable, you can't tell yourself that you're valuable and continue to do things that are not in line with your value. So, when I said you're going to have to

make major life changes, you are. So if you start realizing these valuable things about yourself, you have to stop doing the things that devalue you. The biggest example is giving people access to you that should not have access to you. That are not of caliber and are not of quality. You can't fuck around anymore. You can't be fucking every Joe Schmoh you want just because you're horny. You have to start holding yourself to a certain standard because you're worth a lot. And when you become aware of what you're worth, it's kind of a burden because you have to take care of this little treasure. And there

is treasure in you. And once you become aware of it, now you have to take care of it. So you can't just go be given it to every Joe fucking Shmomo. Your standards are going to have to remain solid. There's no more bending in your boundaries. There's no more. Oh, I'm horny. I'll go fuck the little five out of ten because I just want to know. You're going to have to learn to control your emotions. You're going to have to learn how to get yourself under wraps and stop devaluing yourself with your actions. The way you eat is going to have to change. You can't tell yourself you value yourself and eat like shit and put bad things into you.

You're going to have to start exercising, taking care of your health. You're going to have to get your finances in check. You're going to have to stop being reckless. Like there's so many things that come with valuing yourself that you have no idea. And this is just gonna happen naturally. It's not like you're gonna have to consciously choose to do this, but this shit's just gonna happen, especially the way that people talk to you.

You're gonna be a lot more sensitive to disrespect, because now you feel of worth of something that can be disrespected. You feel like you deserve respect once you realize your value. So the way people talk to you is gonna have to change. The way you talk to yourself is going to have to change. The job you do is going to have to change. The pride you take in your appearance will change. You will put more effort into the way that you look and the way that you

dress. That's value in yourself. That's what no one wants to talk about. But that's the truth. And to tell yourself, I value myself and then go do the opposite of what someone would do that would value theirself, you're fucking lying to yourself. But don't worry, because like I said, it's just gonna happen naturally upon realizing your value. Because as soon as you see something as valuable, you treat it accordingly.

That's just the way that your brain is. That's the way that human beings are. So really prepare for your life to shift and if you've been trying to lose weight or if you've been trying to respect yourself and watch the way people talk to you, if there's been these things that you've been wanting to do and it just seems so difficult, this is the shortcut. Seeing your value is what's going to make it so much easier because it's going to feel natural to eat what's good for you and to exercise and to care about the way that you look

and to make motherfuckers watch their mouth when they're around you. It's just gonna come natural. So it's gonna feel like a lot less effort to take care of yourself and to do all these things that you've been wanting to do for so long. So if you wanna tell yourself, I value myself, motherfucker, you need to be for so long. So if you want to tell yourself, I value myself, motherfucker, you need to be someone of value. You need to act someone of value.

You don't get to just throw that affirmation around, I am valuable in the mirror and not do any actions to back that up. And all of this compounds. So the more that you take care of yourself, the more you're going to feel valuable and the more you're going to care about yourself because you only care about what you invest in. And when it starts to become natural and easy to invest in yourself because you see your value, it's going to compound because the more you invest, the more you care. So it's your sense of self is just going to get stronger and stronger. Your sense of value is just going to get stronger and stronger. Your sense of value is just going to get stronger and stronger and

The shit that you will and won't put up with will change. You will stop putting up with a lot of bullshit So an example I have of this and Stick into your boundaries and your shit like that when you go to a club and there's a cover charge So if you go to a club and it's ten bucks to get in What happens if you don't pay the 10 bucks, you don't get in. So you come correct, you pay what you're supposed to, or you don't fucking get in. The club doesn't care who you are. You are the balancer at the door. You get to set what it costs to access you. So if you say you. So if you say basic consideration skills and basic communication are what it costs to get access to me, people can

pay it or they can fuck off. They're not getting in the club, they're not getting access to you. You're going to feel a lot more confident and you're going to feel a lot more justified in setting boundaries. Once you realize your your value and it will make you stick to them because why the fuck what a club let someone in that can't afford the $10. Like if you're going to be offering the service of having a good time, pay to get in. So if you're going to offer all the value that you have to someone, pay what I say to have access to it. And if you can't afford it, fuck off, politely.

Like if you can't come at me with basic communication and consideration, you're not getting access to me. I don't mean it to be this aggressive, but like get the fuck away from me. What did you think you were playing with bitch? But that's the thing. Is a lot of people don't realize what they have in front of them, so they mistreated it.

So, that's how I am now. I'm like, if you don't see what's in front of you, get the fuck away from me. I don't know who you thought you were playing with, but it's not me. So with this, you will be a lot quicker to cut people off, and you're going to feel a lot more justified in having boundaries because you're going to realize something of value does not deserve to be fucked with. And as soon as you see yourself as something to value, good luck, everybody that doesn't treat it accordingly. But like I said, you're the bouncer at the door. So you don't get to clock out. You constantly

have to assess every single person that is trying to come into your life. You're the bouncer. You're who boots people to fuck out. You're the person that says, okay, are you able to afford what it costs to access me? Or are you not? It's not just the one time thing. You're going to have to do this forever. And it's fine. And it's kind of fun. And it gets way easier. Because when a bouncer first starts working working out a club They're not confident enough to just throw someone the fuck out and be mean Like that comes with time. So the more you do it the easier it gets and the better you'll get at it And I'm not saying be mean to someone that doesn't see your value because if they don't see your value And they're not treating you accordingly. They're not gonna understand that anything is wrong

So if you just start attacking them, you're the asshole and their eyes so politely decline Tell them to get the fuck away and move on if they disrespect you cut some the fuck out Let me actually end the podcast on that. So I hope this one was helpful I know I said a lot of shit that could have hurt your feelings But I want you to all know anything I ever say is with love and I'm trying to help. I'm never trying to hurt you.

If I'm trying to hurt you, you'll fucking know. I will link my app and my social media and all the other shit that I have and things you could check out in the description of this. If you did like this episode, leave my podcast to rating, like a five-star rating. Nothing less than that please. But I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you take something away from this. And I will talk to you next Sunday. you