Aware & Aggravated - 129. Things Secretly Making You Lazy

Episode Date: May 26, 2024

In this episode Leo talks about laziness and explains why the "soft life" is not the best approach from his personal experience. He gives examples of things causing the new epidemic of laziness in society that people aren't aware of on the surface. If you need motivation, this episode is for you.    🎟️ TOUR TICKETS:  https://events.seated.com/leo-skepi   ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi   👕 Clothing/Merch:  https://leoskepicollection.com   📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1    🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY  https://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref=sharehttps://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref%3Dshare&exp=7ffb&mibextid=I6gGtw    Business Inquiries: [e-mail]

Hi friends. This week, I'm going to tell you why the soft approach to life is the wrong one to take. And I'm going to expose a lot of things that are making society lazy as hell. And I have a little bit of bitterness with this because the whole soft approach to life that everybody promotes online and being easy with yourself, being gentle with life is something I tried for the last year and it wrecked me. My whole approach to life that I had with hard work, dedication, discipline, getting shit done and being a little bit tough with yourself and tough love is

the approach that got me so far in life. As soon as I flipped to the soft life, things got awful. And the only thing that's picked me up out of a lot of bad places I've gotten to because of that is going back to my approach of tough love. So this week I want to poke a hole in laziness and talk about a lot of bad places I've gotten to because of that is going back to my approach of tough love. So this week I want to poke a hole in laziness and talk about a lot of things that I realized from personal experience and also things that I see in society that are making people more lazy because being lazy is not admirable. Being lazy is not attractive or a good trait to have in my opinion.

It's a good trait to have if you don't want to accomplish shit, but if you've got goals, if you've got dreams, if you've got things you want to do or manifest, you got to get up. But basically laziness is lack of perspective and feeling defeated by a lot of things. And it's set up a lot in our brains now to have certain expectations and certain needs be met. Like our survival needs as a human being, met, easy. They take no effort.

It takes barely any effort now compared to our ancestors and how people in the old days used to have to survive. Your ability to survive is guaranteed now. It's easy. There's resources for everything. Everything is quick, fast, and done for you with little effort. And there's a lot of benefit to survival being easier and more accessible.

That's great. But what people have done with it is instead of advancing society, society is going backwards. Society is going to shit because no one's having to put effort and real dedication and attention into surviving anymore. And most civilizations now, especially in the United States, but a lot of people aren't having to put focus on their needs for survival. They're already met. That's what used to occupy a lot of people's minds.

And in certain parts of the world, people's main goal when they wake up is to survive, find food and making sure they can survive. But with most societies now, things are so accessible and easy, and it's taken out the effort portion. So a lot of people sit around and use the ability to meet their survival needs to just sit back and do nothing and relax into the laziness and, oh, it's easy. I'm just going to sit back and kick up and not do shit.

But with things being so readily accessible and easy and survival being easy, takes away the effort portion because there's a lot of self-esteem you get when you see yourself putting in effort for something and then getting a reward from it or seeing an improvement or a change or a desired outcome. When you remove that, when you remove the effort that's required to get something, everything's easy and nothing matters. Nothing's worth the shit. And it fully reorients and disturbs people's relationship to dopamine. You no longer get dopamine from hard work and putting your effort and attention

and energy into something and having an outcome because of that society now is set up for cheap dopamine. You get on your phone, you swipe done, you get a nice boost of it. You have constant distraction and constant things around. But my biggest point here is to reveal cheap dopamine is how people get it. Now, dopamine and achievement and accomplishment and a sense of reward is no longer found with effort and work towards something. Most of the time,

it's more constructed in the opposite with everything being so accessible and easy. And what this does is remove a steamable actions to give you self esteem. When you no longer have to take actions that are a steamable because of the reward you get, you now have a cheat code to get everything easy. There's no association of a steam with actions because there's no longer an esteemable action because everything's so fucking easy. But when I say laziness comes from a lack of perspective,

it's because so many ways that things are easy for us now, we don't have the perspective of the opposite. Once you experience and overindulge in simplicity and things being easy and done for you, your brain starts to set that up as your baseline of normal and what is expected. So people get hung up on fighting on stupid ass issues that don't matter. And a lot of people deal with a lot of misplaced entitlement because they're

just used to living a certain way. And this is where a lot of people have no energy for anything else in their life. They expend such little energy to survive now, but all their basic needs are met and they just go forward with trying to do something that takes a little bit of effort. And when you're used to everything being easy, taking any bit of effort that's a little bit higher than what you usually do feels like a lot. People have a jaded perception of what is hard and what is difficult.

And a lot of people no longer question their ability to meet their needs for survival. They feel fully capable and solid that they can do that. But a lot of people feel incapable of having the energy to be able to contribute to a change in their life and improve something or achieve something. It results in a jaded perception of what difficult is. And you start to question, can you do things that are a little bit more difficult than your baseline which is easy as shit and a lot of people are

like oh I don't have the energy for it I don't we me me me me we excuses out the ass and I do want to make this video a little bit aggressive because it's what I needed to snap me out of it I'm about to get into the examples but another big piece with this is when things are too easy and you stop exuding certain skills and using certain skills that you have, you forget that you have them. I talked about that in my last episode but let's jump into the first example on my list. I have like 20 examples so buckle in. The first one is delivery apps, ordering food and ordering groceries.

This initially started as a luxury and a mode of convenience. People now are at a place where they order three meals a day delivered from restaurants to their apartment or to their home. That is the most common thing in LA. When people come over and they see my fridge is full of food, they're like, what the hell you eat at home? And I'm like, do you just order out every meal? And they're like, yeah. But there's so many people who cannot afford to be doing that, who feel like they're entitled to do it because they've done it so many times. It initially was a luxury and something that a lot of people just indulged in. But now it's not uncommon to order food to your house from any restaurant you

want at any time you want. That's not uncommon anymore. It used to be very uncommon. It used to be a luxury. Like I said, now it's everybody's state of normal. It's still shocking to me when people order food. I don't order food like that. I do order my groceries. Then I have my groceries delivered because I can't be fucking bothered with going to

the grocery store and dealing with the headache and spending all the time for that. But that's something I understand as a luxury. And I use that convenience to enable myself to work harder on other things with greater return for what I'm working on. Like with anything business wise, if I can take those two hours that I would have spent grocery shopping and take all the effort and energy

that I was gonna use there and pay for someone to do that for me so I can use those two hours and the effort I was gonna expend on the pay for someone to do that for me so I can use those two hours and the effort I was gonna expend on the things that are gonna make me progress toward my goals and to work. That's different than taking away this burden and just getting the convenience to sit on my ass. I don't encourage that and I don't think anyone should be ordering food. If it's not increasing their convenience to work on something else. If you need that convenience, go for it. But the problem is it's been abused. A lot of

people are so used to this convenience and they use it to just encourage their laziness. If you're so busy working on shit that it makes sense to not distract yourself and go get food, order it. I feel like that's something that needs to be earned and a lot of people are just so expecting of it and they think that's just normal and they should just be entitled to it. That I don't agree with and I don't order food just to sit on my ass. I only use it or order my groceries when I'm working. That's kind of like a punishment to myself.

If I'm not working and I'm not doing what I need to do with the day, I'll make myself go to the grocery store and get the groceries. I didn't earn the ability to have that convenience. I look at that as such a waste of energy for other people and you time, like you could be doing something bigger. You could be using your energy for something else, but you just pay for someone to bring you stuff so you could just sit on your ass and do nothing. I don't like that,

but that's something that people need to be told is these delivery apps are a luxury and I don't think it's good or cool or a flex to use that to enable laziness. I don't like that. And a personal example I have from this is when I was in New York, when I was in my depression pit from hell, I posted YouTube videos about it. I was in a very bad place mentally, but when that need I had to eat because I hadn't eaten all day came up and I didn't let myself order things, you know what I did?

I put on an outfit and I got up and I went out and found food. When you don't have the convenience to meet needs for yourself, you're going to have a normal and biological inclination to go do that. You're all of a sudden gonna have energy for shit. If you stop meeting your needs and doing things for yourself so passively and so easily, you're gonna all of a sudden realize, hey, I can get up, I can go do things,

I can go find food. I'm not over here just feeling like a waste because I have no energy for anything. Oh, I left a need to be unmet and now all of a sudden I have energy to go meet it. Another thing that falls into the food category is going to restaurants. That's also a luxury people have forgotten about. Going to a restaurant and going out to eat is a luxury and people don't seem to

have been brought up like that or to have that understanding. Going to a restaurant is a luxury. It's so normalized now and people are mad disrespectful about it. When you go to a restaurant have some decency, have some consideration, have some respect for the people taking care of you and stop acting so goddamn entitled to boss people around and be rude and expect yourself to be catered to and be able to nitpick everything on the menu like you're used to with your apps. That's not realistic and that's not fair.

And that's your brain thinking you're entitled to shit that you're not. Going out to a restaurant is a luxury and if you want to bring in the whole ordeal about tipping, I agree, it's dumb, pay the employees more. But like I said, going to a restaurant is a luxury. If you cannot afford to tip, do not go. I'm a tight person. If I'm stressing about 10, 20 bucks for a tip, I'm not even going out to eat. I'm not going to a restaurant if I don't have money to spend.

If you only have $50 or a hundred dollars in your account, you should not have your ass at a restaurant. You should be eating chicken and rice or rice and beans. It seems like society has forgotten how to eat cheap. You're not entitled to go to a restaurant and that is not a smart financial decision. If you got 20 bucks in your bank account to go spend 20 bucks on one dinner, you best go get some food that will last you. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? Yeah, there's periods of my life where I've had to eat as cheap as possible and not get to go to a restaurant and have that luxury.

You got to be able to go up and down in lifestyles and people seem to forget with this entitlement that's pushed with everything and it frustrates the living shit out of me. The next thing that is removing people's esteemable actions and making people more lazy is dating apps. To go out and seek a mate,

people can't even go order a fucking pizza on the phone no more. They got total anxiety. I'm so scared to order. You do it. You what? People literally can't even call someone and talk on the phone to order a goddamn pizza. Like I'm so baffled with the state of society and how it's been let to get this bad. But dating apps contribute to this to go out and flirt with someone in public.

People are too scared to do it people would never go up to someone they're interested in nowadays and go hit on them Oh, the first thing they do is pull out their phone to go see if they're on tinder or Raya or bumble whatever the hell you use People are so socially inept now They can't just go up to people and have a conversation. And that's one thing that dating apps has allowed people to superficially and artificially meet that need of companionship and dating. People think that dating is sitting there swiping on your phone. That's not dating and you're not developing any courage or skill and you're not leveling up your communication and your ability to read people and meet

people and socialize. But by sitting in your house on your phone, thinking that you're swiping through people and meet people and socialize. But by sitting in your house on your phone, thinking that you're swiping through people and dating, you get that sense of the need for companionship and dating and putting yourself out there. You think it's being met with the app when it's actually not. So if you were to delete all the apps, you would feel a lot more inclined to go out after a certain amount of time. After this need gets not met for a while, all the dating apps are gone. You're going to feel all of a sudden inclined and want to go out after a certain amount of time after this need gets not met for a while, that all the dating apps are gone.

You're going to feel all of a sudden inclined and want to go out and want to put a nice outfit on and go flirt and meet some people and mingle in real life. Superficially meeting needs for yourself and bullshitting yourself like you're actually doing something like the dating app is making you think you don't have energy for it and it's making you a lot more scared of the thing. It's like, I hope this is making sense the way that I'm relaying it. I know I'm going to sound like an asshole in this episode and so be it. This is the truth that needs to be shared.

But the biggest thing with dating is when you go out and you're socializing in person, your skills get better. It's more esteemable to go out in public and be attracted to somebody and have them be attracted to you and have them be attracted to you versus be on a phone and get your sense of gratification and validation and your sense of self esteem by someone liking your photo or liking you back. That doesn't really do shit. It's way better to be in person and to feel it, to feel the energy, have the conversation and go about life like a normal human.

But let me move on. The next app I want to talk about why is this all app based? It's not all like that. It's about to get a lot deeper and a lot more controversial. But learning skills is not something people have to do anymore. People don't have to learn how to hang up pictures on a wall or fix a toilet or fix a door and like replace a door or replace a hinge or lubricate a hinge. People don't have to know how to do basic things anymore because there's apps that will literally let you hire someone to come to your place and do it for you. A lot of people don't have basic skills for maintenance,

repairs, upkeep, and furnishing a house, taking care of a house, taking care of anything. They don't even know how to hang a photo on the wall. A lot of people don't even know how to paint a wall. That is an issue, in my opinion. Because instead of having to learn the skills and become a more developed human being, and learn through esteemable actions to have self-esteem, to try something, fuck up, get good at it, and then get really good at it and be able to do it for yourself and be more self sufficient.

People can just order someone and pay someone to come to their house and do it moving along for, we get too into that one. Next thing is waiting periods. People cannot handle waiting for things and people's perception of what a long time is, is warped because everything is so instant and fast now, which is great. I love that things are so much more accessible and quick, but it reduces people's ability to be able to do normal things. It's like when you go to a job interview and you got to wait 24 hours, 48 hours, a

week sometimes to hear back. people start to overthink. People can't have gaps in time without wrecking shit with their own brain. You'll start to overthink everything about the interview and freak out, oh my God, they didn't like me, oh my God, oh my God, and people will start to catastrophize and overthink things. They don't know how to just sit in a waiting period

and sit in the unknown. A lot of people's brains will trip them out and they'll overthink it and they'll sabotage themselves or they'll talk themselves out of things because of a waiting period when it's a very normal thing to experience. But like I said, people can't hang out in a waiting period anymore because everything is so instant. You can literally have everything instantly whenever you want it. Within a day, two days, look at Amazon.

You can pull up your phone anytime you want. Entertainment, boom, it's there. You have access to contact people now. This has caused a lot of problems is the phone. People are so readily accessible now. It's like everybody has their phone on them all the time. You can text anyone anytime you want. You can get an answer to anything from anyone anytime you want.

And for someone to not respond to you, people take it as offense. People take it as you're being rude or you're mad at them. And they start to catastrophize again because they cannot handle a waiting period. Think about before there was cell phones and you had just a home phone. I grew up in that generation. You had to wait to hear from somebody until they got home or you could not just easily access people all the time in an instant whenever you want to talk to them or know what's going on. People have lost the ability to let there be a gap in communication

or let there be a gap in time without catastrophizing and freaking the fuck out. And let me be clear, this is something I've observed in myself and I'm noticing what's causing it. And it is uncomfortable to sit in waiting periods, but you have to be able to remind yourself and check yourself when you notice you start freaking out. This is normal, it's very much a normal thing to not have access to people all the time.

And because someone doesn't text you back fast, let's entertain other options besides, oh, they're mad at me. This leads into narcissism like a bitch. But look at other options besides something's wrong with you or bad about you or it's intentional against you. Maybe they're busy.

Maybe they're doing something. Maybe they're in a meeting. Maybe they're at work. Who fucking knows? Maybe they're in the shower. Maybe they're taking a shit and they just didn't want to answer your FaceTime call. That's the point. Maybe they're in the shower, maybe they're taking a shit and they just didn't want to answer your FaceTime call.

That's the point. Another really big thing on my list is distraction. That's it. Distraction like hell. I don't want to go too much into this one but distraction is literally at our fingertips anytime we want it. You do not have to do anything like I said with the waiting period thing. If you're in traffic and there's a red light and you know you're going to be there for

at least a minute, everybody gets on their phone. I'm switching my song, picking a new song, setting a new vibe. Like it is bad because it's kind of normal. Like it's so normalized and socially accepted now when you're waiting in line for something to get on your phone or to be in an elevator. People can't just stand in an elevator anymore. They have to get on their phone and distract themselves and do something else. People cannot just be in the moment. But distraction being so available. This is where it gets bad because a lot of people use distraction too much and

it's very common to watch YouTube videos or Tik Toks or watch TV all the way up until the point that you fall asleep at night. If you never leave a gap in time when you're not distracted, when are you reflecting at the end of the day when you lay in your bed? But do you take a second to think did I do everything I could with my day? Did I really work as hard as I could have did I do as much as I could have is there anything? I could have done better is there anything I want to change or do better tomorrow People don't take time to think about things and reflect. They just watch a fucking show or watch a YouTube video

Until the point they pass out and knock out distraction is a good thing at certain times But I fear it's gotten a little bit too accessible easy acceptable promoted and Overused because the situations like that There's no periods for reflection and you're not realizing how you can call yourself out on your shit. And see that you could've done more. Well why didn't I?

Well I had my phone shoved up my ass for 7 hours of the day. You see? Quick pause to talk about the sponsors of today's podcast. The first one is Lumi. And Lumi is a whole body deodorant that makes it so none of us have to worry about BO again. And unlike certain other deodorants, Lumi is powered by mandelic acid to control odor in a new way.

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You can get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com slash aware. That's harrys.com slash aware for a $3 trial set. That's usually 13. Okay, back to the podcast. Okay, the next thing irritates the absolute hell out of me and it's people seeking restitution on social media. If something happens to someone, it seems like the first thing people do now, if there's any kind of injustice or betrayal or something done wrong or

mistreatment, the first thing people do is run to social media and make a video about it and get as many people on their side to validate their experience so they do not have to question it. That's a typical psychology tactic. And that's a big reason a lot of people when they experience something go running their mouths to as many people as possible because they're unable to validate and stand strong in their own opinion and their own experience. They need it validated by others and they need as many people to hear their side of the story so they can control the narrative as possible. And a lot of

people run the social media because excuses are encouraged and delusions are encouraged and nobody is really on social media now calling people on their shit. So for someone to go out in public and do something stupid or to have something happen because of their action, if they feel like they were treated unfairly, they go online and they talk about the experience. And what they do is rally all these people behind them that validate them and villainize the other person immediately. These people feel like they get comfort and they get validated and they get to feel all

better about the situation. Instead of sitting there evaluating the situation, coming up with their own opinion of it, and maybe questioning their beliefs. And that's another thing social media does is make people lazy as hell because they don't look to question their beliefs. They just believe them and cling onto them and they don't want to see anything else. I personally follow a lot of people and consume a lot of content from people I do not agree with because I always want to be learning and growing

and seeing things from different viewpoints and further either standing strong in my opinion or changing it if I feel like I've been informed on something I didn't know. It's a way to have your opinions challenged, but nobody likes that. Everybody likes for everything in the algorithm to just be exactly what's catered to them. Everything that agrees with them so they don't have to see anything else or any opposing opinion. You know why your for you page is called for you? It's because it's catered to you. It's literally a manipulation tactic by the algorithm to put you with shit and show you shit that's gonna keep you on the app longer and to feel like the app you're on is a safe place for you,

where you're validated and you feel good and you wanna keep going and keep scrolling. But the problem with this is it further just shows more and more people, other people that have their same opinions and values and beliefs and they never question them. They just see such a vast majority of people who share their same beliefs. You step outside into the real world, nobody actually has those

beliefs. Every single person on your For You page is picked from random places in the country or random places in the world that agree with you based off of the algorithm that is picked up on what you think, believe and like. It is all catered and gives people a false, warped sense of reality. Because when you walk out in real life, there's no control over the experience you have. Your algorithm is controlling what you see and what you watch and what you consume. It's all catered to fit your narrative. Real life doesn't fit that narrative. There's contrasts all around and there's no specific being catered to in real life.

And a lot of people can't handle going out in public anymore and hearing people with opposing beliefs because it's so foreign to them. They're not used to it. They're lazy as shit with consuming information and valuing and establishing their own opinions. A lot of people's opinions are fed to them and then backed up by more people with the same opinion, not fact. They're just hearing more and more opinions that match theirs. They don't question theirs. People are lazy in their beliefs now. And I want to come back to saying excuses are validated on social media. That is one thing that I see way too often and the biggest things

that have helped me in my life are having someone stand in front of me and say, bullshit. And it makes me fully be jolted into like, wait, huh? When someone calls bullshit on your excuse or whatever reasoning you have not to do something, to have that challenged makes you grow. You're either going to realize, okay, they're pushing it or you're going to see, yeah, they were right. I really can do this thing. But social media doesn't do that because people are so shamed and I'm one of them. I get shamed a lot and I censored myself down so hard.

I started to hate social media. I'm back full in effect. I don't give a flying fuck. All right. This is what society needs right now is someone to challenge their perspective and challenge their excuses. And there is a lot of people online who say a lot of bad shit covered behind. Oh, it's tough love. I've said some things in the past that are not the best and I've said, Oh, it's just tough love. I've grown as a person. We all grow and we change,

but everybody gets the goddamn point I'm trying to make. But the biggest thing I want to say about excuses being validated online is You can fully find people who will enable you and encourage you to be a waste of a human being and to fall into your Excuses. Oh, you did the best you could it's okay Did you really though you need someone in your corner is going to question and assess it for what it is. Did you really do what you could? Are you being lazy or are you actually maxed out and you do need to take a break? Which one is it?

There seems to be no like retort or come back at people who are spewing excuses and literally just being a waste of a human being. They're just encouraged to do it and there's so much fire and heat and cancellation that gets put on people who question it. Like to even question the validity of someone's excuse makes you fatphobic, transphobic, racist. You'll get slapped with all these labels and that's a big thing people like to hide behind is labels. Because labels give you a sense of protection from criticism and it will immediately villainize the person critiquing you if you can throw your

label at it. Like a lot of people that are in the LGBTQ, there's so many goddamn letters attached to it, I can't give up anymore. Or people with mental health diagnosis. and there's this trend going on right now with people Identifying as autistic What the fuck is going on? I? Understand why they're doing it I am sounding a little judgy of the behavior and I am judgy of it a little bit and I know I'm trying to not judge People so hard, but what the fuck you know know what I mean? Why are people self identifying as autistic? Why is that something people are putting their bios to parade around?

There's a difference between people actually being autistic and letting people know versus people who like being gay, use it as their entire personality trait and they've got it plastered everywhere. I think it's because it gives you a label to hide behind because if someone goes and claps back at you or tries to poke a hole in some bullshit you're spewing, you get to say, I'm autistic, it's unfair. You get to immediately villainize the other person, which I don't agree with. So I do think social media contributes to laziness in a huge way with this, hiding behind

labels and all of that. But also the other big thing is people making it seem and telling you it is self-hating to want to improve yourself or change any of your circumstances. People literally promote all the time, you have to accept yourself the way you are. You are perfect the way that you are. You don't have to change anything. I'm about to snap this mic with how hard I'm grabbing it. People spew this bullshit all the time. You absolutely have to accept where you are to move forward or to change something. But you do not have to accept it to stay stuck in it. You do not have to force yourself to be happy with things you are not happy with. You have to accept where you are, cut your

losses to move forward. But this is where society falls further into dying in their excuses with it's shameful. It's self-hate. To improve yourself or to change yourself. To lose weight is considered fatphobic if you say, I want to lose weight. And all the phobias are thrown around and stamped on everybody.

And what pisses me off with that is you can't identify who's actually an asshole anymore. I've been labeled every kind of phobic. I'm not any of them. That's the gag. That's the real gag. But this is the point I'm pointing out with the laziness shit is people don't want to be called out. People don't want to face their excuses. They want a reason to be able to villainize anyone who questions them or pokes a hole or reveals something is an excuse. Hey, you do actually have control over this thing. They don't want to see it.

They just want to villainize the thing, revealing it. And all these labels are what help people to do that. So that's another thing attributed into the laziness of society. Nobody wants to actually be accountable. Nobody actually wants to reflect on their life and people like to hide behind that excuse. Oh, it's self hatred to want to change myself. So I'm just going to sit here and love myself. Right? Now the next big thing contributing to laziness in society now is people's

ability to put on an image that they're doing better than they actually are and being able to control perception of themselves through social media. A lot of people bank on social media representing them more than who they are in real life, which is a gag from hell. You ever meet any of these influencers in real life? Besides me, I'm the exception that is going to gag you more with who I am in real life than the image that you see. But a lot of people, their image, oh babe, it's ten times better than what they really are. I've met all these influencers.

A lot of them are absolute losers. And a lot of them aren't actually what you see. It's all a facade. But the big thing here is a lot of effort is put into constructing how you're perceived online and feeling good about it. So you get to in real life, sit down and feel like you've accomplished something and you get a false sense of superiority because you feel like you're being perceived in this certain

way. A lot of people feel imposter syndrome. Yeah, no shit. A lot of people have it set up in their mind and feel like they're doing a lot better than they actually are because of what they're constructing and the perception that they're controlling. But if they were to actually sit down and look at themselves in real life, a lot of people who do this don't live in real life. They live on the phone.

They live on the image that they're making and they feel good about it. So they're not worried about what's actually going on in real life. And that's only going to be a matter of time before it blows up in everybody's face. But that's something very prevalent in social media is a lot of people get to feel like they're doing a lot and they look good and they're doing all these great things because of what they're controlling and the narrative that they're painting.

But the big thing to look at here is with people who put all this effort into being a certain way online, it turns into a cycle because they'll be on their phone and feel good about themselves. They'll get into real life and then feel bad when they don't look like that. And they have to face the reality of who they are and how they actually do live. They don't like it. So they go create more of an image and they feel better about it. They get like the feeling of doing better. And it's just this cycle of real life to on social media and getting your boost

and your fall back and forth through that. But the biggest question to ask yourself is if you took away your social media, who are you when you walk into a room full of strangers? Are you able to even walk in that room or is your social anxiety gonna trip you out? That's the thing. Can you hang in a room in real life? Who are you behind the camera? That's what you need to work on and fix, not painting a better image online. That's not where real self-esteem is built and made. And that's not how you feel good about yourself,

is by being online and being perceived a certain way. It's by being it in real life. Stop talking the talk and walk the goddamn walk. A lot of people's issues would be solved if they just focused more on their reality and not the one that they're trying to portray on social media. It's fake. Now, the last thing that's encouraging way too much laziness from two different spectrums

is the whole participation trophy shit because it's bled into more things than people realize. People think you should get a trophy for showing up. I don't. I don't think everyone should get a trophy or be rewarded that they showed up somewhere or did something. Acknowledgement, absolutely. Your presence should be appreciated and acknowledged.

Do you get a trophy for just being there? No, that sends people the message that their presence is so valuable it puts them on an equal playing field as everyone regardless of the skill set and regardless of the knowledge level. People who excel the norm should be rewarded. Competition is actually really good and it's healthy. Healthy competition. It can have bad side effects but with competition and having skills and knowledge and superiority

be recognized, not just giving everybody the same award just for being there, do something for a goddamn reward. That's the thing here. All these things I listed made it be set up where people think they need to be rewarded just by being somewhere. They need to be commended and honored by their presence. What is your presence worth actually? To be rewarded for what you contribute and what you can do and what you're capable of, I think is very good. It encourages people to achieve for

more who aren't on that level and it also encourages the people who are performing better to keep performing better and keep getting better and get good. You need to see the discrepancy and just showing up does not make you equal to someone who excels 10 times past you that there needs to be a discrepancy. There needs to be that motivation and the competition. And you need to see someone who is dealing with all the same things that you are as a human being but is still excelling because you will see every reason you're convincing yourself you can't be this good is a bullshit excuse. You can tap into the excuse and stay down or you can

bypass the excuse and work and get to where you want to go and accomplish things. What a crazy idea. The biggest issue with society now is being weak is rewarded and being weak gets you protected and supported. Whereas as soon as you have any sort of power or you exhibit any kind of strength or you exhibit any kind of control you have over situations and circumstances and you achieve anything or do anything, you have power of any sort, you're attacked, you are damned, and people will try to pull you into their level of excuses and bullshit because when you blast past what they're doing they have

to face either what they're telling themselves and convincing themselves, are there limitations and reasons they can't do things are invalid but people don't want to do that. But that's what I'm saying. It cycles back into the laziness thing. Laziness is not commendable. It's not cute. And it's not going to get you nowhere good in life. And when I was living my life being driven and being tough and not making excuses and trying to be so understanding that it made room for excuses. When I was living like that, it ruined everything.

It ruined what I got to by being a little bit more tough and not excusing my way out of shit. So from someone who has tried both and lived both and is now back into a place where I'm not accepting excuses from myself, I have the balance of when to push it, when to not. But I now also have the understanding of when excuses are valid versus when they're not, and they need to be challenged. And I feel better and more motivated and energized

and more confident and esteemed by not living a life of excuses. I'm sick right now, and I'm still doing the God damn podcast. The show goes on, babe. I'm sick, but I can sit here and run my mouth. If you like this video, leave it a thumbs up. And if you have anything you want to say in the comments, feel free. Go ahead.

I'm really curious what other perspectives will be on this. Cause this is from my lived experience and just from what I'm observing, I'll leave all the links in the description for my tour. If you want to get a ticket and come see me live and my live shows are about confidence. So I have a roadmap with eight checkpoints and I walk you through it and how to go from cripplingly insecure like I was to confident and not giving a fuck. I'll also leave all the links to my social media you could follow me keep up with me. I'll also leave the link to my app

Positive Focus and my merch. Everything you need from me will be in the description but everybody be safe take care of yourself don't be lazy and I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.