Aware & Aggravated - 135. 50/50 Relationships, Revenge On Cheaters, & Dropping Friends (WWLD)

Episode Date: July 14, 2024

Another episode of (WWLD) What Would Leo Do- covering 50/50 relationships, revenge for cheaters, when it's ok to take back a cheater (never, duh), dealing with narcissistic parents, and misconceptions about trauma with today's weakening society.   😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9    ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi   👕 Clothing/Merch:  https://leoskepicollection.com    📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1    🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY  https://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref=sharehttps://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref%3Dshare&exp=7ffb&mibextid=I6gGtw    Business Inquiries: [e-mail]

All right, let's do this this week we're doing a what would Leo do I'm on the couch this time I'm gonna be popping around different locations while I'm figuring out filming in this apartment, but I do want to say I'm planning something Big as in a rebrand with the podcast Aware and aggravated is gonna come to an end soon, but doesn't mean I'm stopping podcasting I'm just switching a lot of things so just know that I'm plotting plotting. And I figured for the remainder of Aware and Aggravated, we will just do what would Leo do's until we flip. Get excited for the flip. I have not had an idea so good in so long.

I'm so excited for it. But that's all I'm gonna tell you for now. Let's jump into what would Leo do. The first person is trying to get me in trouble. They asked my opinion on 50-50 relationships. I'm going to go ahead and just hit you out the gate with my views on 50-50 relationships. Be a man. Why are you 50-50ing?

I'm old school, old fashioned. I'm going to explain with situational things, but as a man, gay or not, you need to be providing. All the women in my life I always take care of, I always pay, I always make sure that they're good. A couple women in my life, like my family, I help them a lot financially. But as a man, gay or not, that is part of your thing in this life is to be a provider.

I don't agree with the whole 50-50 thing. My whole opinion on this is if you are not in a place where you can financially afford to have a partner, you should not have one as a man. I've been like that in the past. If I was broke or if I didn't have enough money to be able to treat my partner how I wanted, I wasn't looking for one. But there's another angle that this goes into because a lot of girls like to get with guys and then like be with them during their grind and their struggle.

That's a situation where I understand 50-50, but I don't agree with it. Like I understand why you would want to, but at the end of the day, the man should be doing what he needs to do, which is provide. But I am going to take into consideration the fact that if you want a partner and you're not where you want to be financially, you can still make it work. And even then, I still don't agree with the 50-50 thing. Like the woman should not be providing 50% of rent and bills and all this shit. Like the man should be covering most of it.

This is a tricky dynamic, because if you're going to date somebody, this is something that a lot of girls don't take into consideration. If you're going after a guy for money, go get a guy with money. Don't go to a guy who's broke dick and can't really afford anything and be trying to get him to pay for everything Of course, he's gonna freak out about going to dinner all the time But if you're gonna go into a relationship genuinely to be with somebody It's not that you go into it going. Okay, we're gonna go 50-50 The guy should be providing the guy should be doing most of it

and if he's not in a situation where he can't afford to pay for most of everything you leave the ideas and the initiation Of things to the guy. Let's say I was straight if I was dating a girl and I was having like a down period Financially, I would hope that the girl would understand things are tight, things are different. I'm still planning to pay for what I can and I'm planning to do things, but we're going to have to cut back on going to dinner. We're going to have to cut back on certain things. I'm still going to give you money to get your nails done, but we're not going to be going out to eat every night of the week. The thing is, with 50-50 relationships, it should never be 50-50.

The guy should always be doing more when we're talking about like normal guy, girl relationships. But if you're going to be with a guy when he's not financially in a place Relationships it should never be 50-50 the guy should always be doing more when we're talking about like normal guy-girl Relationships, but if you're gonna be with a guy when he's not financially in a place to take care of everything Understanding that he's gonna be in a different spot and not be able to afford a lot of things needs to be a basic Consideration if you're dating a dude just for the money, you're not gonna care You're gonna still be wanting to like make plans and do things and initiate. If you're in a genuine relationship with a dude and you're trying to be with him through a hard time, you give him the control of initiating things and going to dinners and going on dates and whatever extra he wants to do. He should be covering most of the bills. If he needs you to pitch in once in a

while, that's like last resort is to go to your girl in my opinion. But you leave most of the initiation of things up to him because the worst thing you could be in is in a situation where like if I was dating a girl and I'm down financially and I'm trying to rebuild and bitch just keeps coming to me every single night let's go here let's do this let's do that I want this bag I want that. Trying to go to dinner trying to go to all these dates trying to go do all these things and buy all this crap. The worst thing is for when you have that pressure of like the person asking and trying to initiate everything when they're not the one paying, you have to have the respect

for the guy if you're in like a genuine relationship to let him call the shots and lead where he can afford to pay for things. So if it goes from going out to eat five times a week to going out once a week, you leave it up to him. And being supportive through a guy's down period is fine as long as he is clearly busting his ass to get out of a bad financial situation. To be with a guy and be like, I'm going to bribe with him through his tough time and he's not doing shit. Yeah, that's that's dumb. Like let the action speak louder than the words. If he's saying I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, you just got to ride with me, you got to stick with me. If your actions are not matching that, if you don't see

him busting his ass, if he's not sleep deprived and working nonstop, yeah, go ahead and get because that's going to turn into a 50-50 thing where he shames you for being disloyal or being a sugar baby or being a gold digger, all this and that. The only people who are crying about gold diggers are people with no gold to dig. It's always the broke people talking about gold diggers. Shut up. The rich men don't care. They can afford to pay for your girlfriend.

But in general, my opinion on finances and a relationship, the guy needs to be paying for most of it. There should be no 50-50. And if there is a period where it needs to go 50-50, it needs to be a very short-lived period, not a recurring or like expected thing. Guys who get pissy about paying for the first date, oh my god. Girl, you best show up to the date with your strap on ready to go because he's a baby back bitch. Guys who are so tripping and like bugging

about first dates, girl, just pay for the dinner. You know how much she had to pay to do all that makeup to look cute for you and buy the outfit and get ready for you? She invested too. Guys always pay for the first date. If they don't pay for the first date, spin the block. Find you somebody new.

My ear is ringing. Even the spirit guides agree. But also one thing, like I said, if you're going into a relationship with a guy to get money and be taken care of, this advice is not going to apply. But if you're going into a genuine relationship with somebody, when you go out to dinner with the guy, you match what he orders. So you pay attention to how much he's ordering and the type of food he's ordering.

If he's ordering chicken, you don't order a steak. If he orders a steak, throw out the little vibe, like oh I'm thinking the chicken, or should I do steak, or should I do chicken, I don't know. And let him decide, let him make the call for what he's gonna pay for. I hate going out with people who don't match what you order. I don't have an issue with paying for dinners and shit, luckily at this point, but the worst

thing is when you're on a date or something and you know you're going to take care of the bill and the person you're with orders a steak and lobster and all this and that. Girl, I got some chicken. Okay? Cool it. That's just one thing to be considerate about. If you're going to go into a sugar baby type thing, that's a whole different way to enter it, whole different set of rules. But if you're going into a genuine relationship,

that's where my advice is coming in here. That's what it's for. 50-50? No. And if it's going to happen, very short timeframe. That's it. Okay. The next thing I want to talk about, a lot of people wrote in about how to get over certain traumas. And I don't like the whole thing about trauma being so like trendy right now. Like every single thing everybody talks about is trauma. Like they get your coffee wrong at like the coffee shop and everybody's, oh my god, it was so traumatic. I had to start my day without my coffee. How out of touch are you? You had to go through your day without your coffee.

Oh my god, you're so strong. How did you function? The fuck? OK, enough of making fun of people. This whole like dainty era everybody's in, like the men with the Van Cleef bracelets. Oh my God. If a guy is wearing a Van Cleef bracelet, he's in his fucking prissy puss era. Don't fuck with him. But when it comes to healing from trauma, the whole

definition of trauma is literally like destroyed and so watered down because like I said, people throw it around so often like, Oh my God, this was traumatic. That was traumatic. Like some things actually aren't that traumatic, but I also have to take into consideration the different types of people. So something that I would consider not traumatic, other people would consider traumatic. So it's going to come to like a different type of person you're dealing with. But if you think back to the old days, like long, long time ago for human beings, Alex Hermosy talked about this on a podcast and it's a very good point. He said back in the old days, like before there was like any society or civilization, it was normal to have your parents slaughtered in front of you and deal with death like happening all in front of you all the time. That was a normal thing.

That wasn't like a traumatic experience for most people. Sure. It was very life-changing and upsetting back then, but now for someone's parents to be slaughtered in front of them is one of the most traumatic things that you can fucking go through. It's just the perspective of what is considered trauma and what is not because of what is normalized and what is common and going on in like today's society. Things now that people consider traumatic people a hundred years ago would piss themselves laughing. Oh my God, your vape died. You couldn't,

you couldn't smoke nicotine for two hours and people would get to tweaking and freaking the fuck out. Like it's the most traumatic thing. Or like a waiter at a restaurant. If someone's vegan and they bring someone else's steak to the table by accident, the vegan would be like, Oh my God, it was so traumatic. Like the way that Tik Tok is now, like people getting misgendered is like a big trauma for them every single day. Or like people go to the store and they don't have their size in a pair of shoes

or something and they freak the fuck out. It's, Oh, it just ruins their whole day because they don't have their size in a pair of shoes or something and they freak the fuck out. It's just ruins their whole day because they didn't have their size in something. They just break down and cry about it. Imagine people who never had a store to go to to shop. What's traumatic for you is not actually traumatic. It's just this baby ass society we live in now. That's where a lot of perspective will hit you is like understanding what is traumatic and what is not. Cause people act like after trauma, you have to have this extensive

healing period. Like you have to heal from what happened to you. A lot of people don't need to heal from a certain shit. Like certain things are not traumatic, but they consider them as traumatic. So they think that they need to heal or they need a phase to heal from it. A lot of that is like speaking your power away and making you feel like you're a lot weaker than you actually are. There's a lot of shit you don't need to fucking heal from. You move forward from it. Like me with my car accident, I had two days in between the car accident and going to my next shows to do

them. There was no time to process nothing. There was no time to heal and get through it. You just have to keep going. And that's where you can see the clear distinction between people who water down the phrase of trauma and traumatic experiences. Look at their ability to just quit. Certain people are so like cushy and like I don't say privileged, but like they have the privilege and the ability to quit something or stop.

You will see a big difference in yourself when you don't give yourself the option to quit something or stop. You will see a big difference in yourself when you don't give yourself the option to quit or to stop. A lot of people feel like they need to stop and like heal from something. But if you just accept it for what it is and go forward and do what needs to be done, you stay with the task at hand and you recommit, you'll realize it wasn't actually that harsh or bad. And you do process it as you go toward the next thing and the things you're working on like me with the car wreck then the whole almost dying thing.

I had to keep going. I didn't have an option to quit or to stop in my own head. Everybody wanted me to call off the shows and everybody on my team was preparing for me to call them and be like, hey, cancel them. But I didn't. I knew that I committed to you guys and a lot of people paid money to come to the shows. I was going to give to you guys and a lot of people paid money to come to the shows I was gonna give you that experience a lot of people were looking forward to it I was so excited and looking forward to it. There was no call it off in my mind I didn't even let myself explore that option when I gave myself No out the only option was through and I went through it right after that experience

Yeah, I did make a lot of changes to my set because I changed a lot of things for the last five shows because a big near-death experience will jolt you into some new awareness. But I went through processing what happened as I kept going. It gets reflected in more ways. There's things that happen and you process it and you go through it as you go through the motions of doing what you were supposed to do. If you let that shit stop you, that's very pussy.

I don't want to be rude cause that's an extreme example. Like most people would have just called off the shows, but that's my whole point is like certain shit is not actually traumatic. The car wreck was, but what I mean is like certain things that people think are traumatic are fucking not like getting fired from your job. A lot of people see that as a traumatic situation. I don't, but that comes from my whole understanding of

my skills and my trust in my ability to make more money and figure shit out. Breakups are a form of trauma. Death is definitely a form of trauma, but breakups are a big form of trauma because your whole life as you knew it is over and there's a big disconnection and separation with a person in your life. The same thing applies with work and jobs, like to get fired from a job. Like you wake up one day and your whole life as you knew it is gone. And you now have your entire livelihood like up in the air. I don't see that as traumatic. It is in a way like a little,

I see breakups as more traumatic, but it depends on who you ask what you think is trauma and what you think isn't like Do you need to go? Heal after you get fired from a job. No, you need to fucking go find a new one That's my whole thing Be careful what you label is traumatic and what is not traumatic because it's gonna make you think you have to go through this whole healing era You don't you just got to keep going you got to see what you're dealing with. Face it.

Okay, I was fired. I'm going to go find a new job. I have bills to pay. I don't have an option to stop. You see, it reframes everything in your head when you toughen the fuck up a little bit. All right, next person said she has narcissistic parents who have emotionally abused her before. And she's now in a place where she has the opportunity to move out. She goes, should I? Yes Absolutely. I do want to check everybody with the whole Narcissist thing every single person seems like every one of their exes was a narcissist like everybody just throws that term around and people are like, oh my parents are narcissists when really they're just

Tired of your bullshit and they're calling you out on your excuses and they're calling out how you're like brainwashed by social media thinking that certain things are right or valid when it's bullshit. You're being a puss. So a lot of people will think that their parents are being abusive. Some actually are and some are abusive in a way that they neglect you and neglect is the worst type of abuse because you cannot heal from what is not done. That's a bitch. But if you have parents that are like a little bit harsh or rude,

but you can tell that they love you like tough love vibe. But I would say be careful with labeling your parents as narcissists like check. Are they actually abusive or are they just in a little bit more grounded, realistic approach from their generation? Because this generation is pitiful, girl. But the other part I want to hit on is, should you move out? Yes, absolutely. Take the opportunity.

If you weren't ready, you wouldn't have the opportunity. You have been given this opportunity for a reason. And if you see that you're unhappy living with them and you don't like what you're dealing with, show yourself you'll do what it takes to get yourself out of a situation where you're unhappy. Do it. Figure it out. This is a normal human thing to grow up and move out. Do it.

There's a lot of life skills waiting for you. There's a lot of character development and a lot of grit you're going to get when you move out for the first time. You're going to learn to respect your parents and appreciate them a lot more. Once you experience some of the responsibilities that they take off of you, you'll be a lot more grateful. Something that I had to go through is something that everybody goes through, but it will bring you and your parents together and make you guys tighter.

This is the best thing for you. If you're unhappy and you have an opportunity, jump on it. 100% Oh my God. Okay. Next person said, hi Leo. Hi. So sorry for what you're going through. I was with my boyfriend for over a year and he always accused me of cheating I recently did an STD screening and found out he gave me chlamydia by cheating on me I gave him an opportunity to admit it to me before I told him I knew and he still lied until he couldn't anymore as His test result was positive too. I'm not gonna lie I went to his house to smash up his car and we had a physical altercation

I'm not gonna lie. I went to his house to smash up his car and we had a physical altercation We haven't spoken since how can I level up from this and not want to be petty and ruin his life He has a job that is illegal. She told me not to say what it was put the fucking pieces together She said I'm so angry. He accused me all the time and then fucked another girl and even gave me an STD I'm ready to go to prison over this lol. I Fully get it. I fully like I'm ready to go to prison over this. LOL. I fully get it. I fully like I'm, I get it. Like I've been through situations where people have lied to me about having STDs before. Luckily I never fucking caught one, but this is something. Be appreciative. It was not a lifelong STD. If it was a lifelong STD,

I would tell you to fuck his shit up and ruin his fucking life. That is something that people don't need to be playing with is spreading STDs, especially things that you cannot cure or get rid of. I feel like that is fair to punish people how you see fit if they give you something lying to you that you can never get rid of that harms your health and makes you deal with certain pain

or certain health issues like immunosuppression. These things are not a joke and they actually piss me off. I think people should get a lot harsher consequences for giving people STDs with lying to them about them. I feel like if you attack someone or do what you see fit to someone because they gave you a lifelong STD, you shouldn't be punished for it. You fucked around with my life. I fucked around with yours. What's the issue? What's the problem?

Donde estas? The issue. But on a serious note for your situation, since it wasn't a lifelong STD, this is something luckily you can cure. Take your antibiotics, take your ointment, whatever they prescribe you, just do it to get rid of it. I wouldn't say rat on him for what he does for a living

and blow his life up. I say you fully abandon his fucking ass. Let him understand that these are the consequences of his actions and get as far away from him as possible. And now you understand my rigidity around having people tested before I touch them. I don't play with this and I don't take this lightly. I'm very much a stickler about that and now you understand unfortunately a lot of people who don't understand just don't have the experience to understand the

risk you're taking. A lot of people are like oh it's rude to make people get tested. No it's not. I'll get tested with you. I want you to make sure I'm tested too. If I come to somebody and say let's go get tested and you're offended, no, you should be fully on board. Cause if someone comes to me and says, I want to make sure we're tested first fully, I was already booking an appointment. What do you mean? I would be relieved that you're that rigid about your health also and what you're doing and not doing and spreading and not spreading.

I know this is hard and it pisses you off and this is a lesson learned. Take the lesson. Consider your debt paid. Consider your karma paid in full. You learned your lesson. Now get out. You want nothing to do with them again. If you want to move away to a new place, move. I love to move. I love a dramatic exit. I love a dramatic like life change. That's my thing. But all the anger and frustration you feel fully, fully valid to act on it, I would recommend not. I'd say give it a month for you to calm down and understand your emotions are now yours to deal with and you need to get yourself through this situation with absolutely nothing to do with him. No consideration for how he feels

and what he's going through. Fully block it off. Pretend like he's dead because he did die to you. Who you thought he was is dead. So go about it like that. Pretend he doesn't exist and do what you need to do. Sit with what you need to sit with. Be lit and do not act on it.

If you feel any urge of an emotion to act out of rage or spite or anything like that, give it at least 24 hours, at least. I'd say give it a few days, but when you feel a certain like hit or urge because you're thinking a certain shit or you're like seeing the amount of disrespect you've actually tolerated or you see how mad you are with the whole process of going to get antibiotics to cure what he gave you, it's going to hit you. The rage is going to hit you. The rage is fair.

It's valid. Duh. But do not act on it. Don't let the emotion dictate your actions. If you're going to take an action, do it fully logically. Don't let it be run by emotions from my own personal experience. The whole crash out trend going on, don't do it. Unless it's a lifelong thing.

If someone murders your family, kills someone you care about, gives you something that's lifelong, crash out. Well, I don't know if I could condone that. I don't know if I can promote crashing out. Don't do nothing illegal. Or at least don't get caught. But if someone does something bad enough to me, I'm crashing out fully. Fully I'm freaking out. Crashing out means like you lash out and just go nuts and do whatever the hell you want.

You do something bad enough to me, you give me a lifelong STD, I'm crashing out on you to what I see fit. That's just, you know, that's just the way life is. But I don't think this is a situation where you should crash out fully. Luckily, it's curable. Do what you need to do. You're going to be more than okay. Take this on the chin. Lesson learned. Karma paid in full. Do not make the same fucking mistake again and do not have anything to do with this person at all. All right, next person. There's a couple people that asked about, should I take back a cheater? No. You should never take back someone who cheated? No. You should never take back someone who cheated on you. You should never stay with someone who cheated on you.

If you're in a committed relationship and they cheat, no, it's done. Quick pause to talk about the sponsors of today's podcast. The first one is Away Luggage. And if you're in the market for new luggage, trust and believe. They sent me their new soft-sided carry-on roller suitcase. I don't know why I'm trying to shove this

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He's now going to therapy and has removed the other women from his life. I'm going to clock that. He's saying he wants to better himself and try again with me. Do cheaters ever change? Shera Seven said I should just keep him since he's a rich guy and make him pay for stuff till I get a new man. LOL. But what would Leo do? I wouldn't disrespect myself that bad enough to stay with someone.

People are never going to respect you if you take them back after them cheating on you. That's the ultimate disrespect. He's never gonna respect you. It's not worth the money. Go make some money or get with a guy who has money who hasn't fucked you over already or tell him you want a fat makeup gift. Get you a Rolex. Get you a Birkin. Get you something you can resell. Tell him you want a makeup gift. Deal breaker. If you don't buy me this, I'm out. If he buys it, you still leave. But if he doesn't buy it, you have your answer. The hell? But the part I really want to clock is him saying he's going to therapy and has removed the other women from his life. Now, we're going to talk about temptation and removing things that you have

impulses for. If you have to remove all of the women, so you're not enticed to be with them, you don't have control over yourself. He's not controlled over his urges to be with other women. He's simply removing the temptation. It's like with food. Do you actually have control over food? If you have to take all the bad shit out of your house and your only option is to eat good, or is it actually control? If you have all the bad food in front of you and you still choose to eat what is in line with what you want to eat that's healthy

with him taking all the women away doesn't mean he's not going to cheat. It doesn't remove his lack of self control. It doesn't fix that. It just removes the temptation. Your issue is going to be every time the temptation pops up. He's not able to control himself when the temptation is there. Therefore, no change. If you have to remove the thing, you don't have control over your urge to act against it. That's my whole take on that. He's going to sit here and try and do anything he can to manipulate your ass to get back with you. Make sure you don't get back with them. But one thing I want to point out when I have an episode talking about this, I forget which one it is, but with people,

sometimes their biggest reassurance is to see how much you will suffer for them and how much you will tolerate and then get back with them because that is their ultimate validation of how much you love them. For this dude to see how bad cheating on you has hurt you and fucked you up, to see what you're going through, to see how hard he's having to work to get back to you, for him to see the pain that you're in and for you to say, I'll take it and I'll swallow it because I love you and I want to be with you.

That's going to be his ultimate form of validation to show that you will suffer for him. A lot of people get their reassurance out of how much you will suffer to show that you love them and stay with them. And they will subconsciously continue to hurt you anytime they want reassurance. So that feeds them. It hurts the shit out of you. Do not stay.

Do not fall for it. It's done. I'm sorry. It's done. I have episodes on breakups. Go look them up. I'll be here for you through podcast form. You will be happy you left in the future.

Give it a month and you will look back and be like, thank fucking God I left. Okay, the next person asked when to cut off a friend. Like signs it's time to cut them off. The best advice I can give you for filtering out when it's time to cut someone off is look at your goals for your life or what you're working on or what you're trying to achieve. Is this person in support of those things or not? Are they going to encourage you or are they going to hold you back? Are they going to criticize you?

Are they going to talk shit? And even if they're verbally supportive, are they an inconvenience? Are they constantly asking you to go out and asking you to go do things and spend money if you're trying to save it? Are they sabotaging you with the shit that they're asking you to do all the time? Does hanging out with them take away from your goals? Not in the sense of like you need time away from working and having your life, but it's too much of your time away from work starting to impede on your work

time. The people around you should be in full support and make it easier for you to get to your goals, not harder. That's your biggest telltale sign. It's time for them to go. Because what that does is when you clear out people who are not in support of what you're trying to do, it makes space for people who are. This is something I've experienced a lot in my life, and I'm going through it again,

especially business-wise, but cut them out and then watch what takes their place. And when you show yourself and show the universe or God, whoever you believe in, that you will prioritize what you're focused on, support will be brought in when you remove the blockages. Trust. You make yourself a vibrational match to different shit. Alright, next person said, I'm in need of some brutally honest advice here. I've got you baby. You came to the right place. I was previously in a long-term relationship which ended a few months ago. While I have for the most part reached acceptance, there is one thing that I'm struggling with. After time away from my ex,

I now feel really hurt about many things I accepted as fine within the relationship, which in hindsight, I now believe to be far below my standards. For example, there were several instances where my ex ignored my clearly set boundaries and repeatedly failed to support or stand up for me when I needed them. What would Leo do in terms of finding ways

to get rid of my pent up hurt and frustration towards this person without causing a scene. If you guys broke up, your feelings and your emotions are yours to hold. His are his to hold. Everything you feel is your responsibility now, and it does not need to be shared. It doesn't need to be talked about. He does not need to know all of the things that you now are realizing were beneath your standards.

It's just going to be an attack and he's just going to feel criticized. You don't need to voice that. You need to make a list and make a note like a mental note, even of all the things that you're realizing that were so disrespectful or so bad. What allowed me to accept this shit and how will I have a keen eye out in the future to make sure this doesn't happen again?

With every single thing that you realize pisses you off even more, you're learning what not to go for in the next relationship. So every single time you think of a random thing, this is very common after a breakup is to think back on certain shit and your brain like puts pieces together and you remember one part from one story, not matching the other. And then you think of the truth and like you remember, Oh, he revealed it here. And you're like pissed off because you realize a lie that you are just now

finding out months after the relationship ended. A lot of things are going to connect. A lot of puzzle pieces are just going to fit inside each other all of a sudden. And it's going to cause a lot of emotions. Those are yours to hold. You don't need to reach out. You don't need to talk about it. You don's going to cause a lot of emotions. Those are yours to hold. You don't need to reach out. You don't need to talk about it. You don't need to express how hurt you are.

You need to hold that. You need to have that. You need you. And you need to get yourself through this with every single thing that you become aware of. You make note of it. You keep track of it for the future. So you do not land in a similar situation.

Again, that is a really big thing. The feelings and shit that come up after a relationship are not bad. They're not crazy. They're not weird. Like you're not fucked up or weird, and you're not ruminating on it because I know what you're talking about. It's like sometimes you're just like doing something in the grocery store and it's like this random like flicker of like a thought, we'll put the pieces together. And then you're like, and you get pissed off fully normal, fully valid. It's over. It's done. You're realizing things. Okay, the situation was way shittier than I thought,

but what can I look for in the future? What am I not going to put up with? What am I not going to tolerate? How did I end up in this situation dealing with this shit? What were all the steps and all the things that led to that? And why was I accepting it and considering it fine or not a big deal? When you understand why you tolerated certain things, you no longer fear going into the next relationship because you have a full like roadmap of all the steps that got you to the point you don't want to be in.

As soon as you see that first step come up again, you know to handle it differently. Learning is very simple. To show that you have learned is same circumstance, new behavior. So if you can backtrack and see exactly how you got into the situation you're in and exactly how things got as bad as they are, and how you sacrifice your standards and you made yourself be okay with shit that you weren't really okay with, if you can see how it happened, you know exactly how to prevent it in the future. You're not going to be so anxious. You're not going to shut down You're not going to be scared of new relationships You're gonna feel prepared because you know how to spot it and you're ready

Like you've been burned once and now you know how to navigate the stove You know how to see and spot when the red light is on. Yeah, I'm not even fucking touching it You can identify the signs of things from the past. So it sucks It's gonna be a process, but everything you're feeling and thinking of and ruminating on and the pieces that are connecting are going to piss you off. It's normal. You're totally fine. You're not crazy. But the biggest thing I want to emphasize is your emotions are yours to hold. You are broken up.

He no longer was responsible for how you feel or what you realize or how he wasn't good enough. That is things for you to keep track of and to get confirmation and feel better every single day that you realize something new or think of something new. You are 100% certain and be grateful that you have a little bit more certainty. You will never go back and you made the right decision to leave. And you now are so much more educated about how to navigate things in the future and have better relationships and not be fucked on like this again and deal with things without realizing they were as bad as they were. Hindsight is 2020. You're going to see a lot of things different once you leave a relationship. You're going through it. It's totally normal. But I want you to look at this as these feelings and emotions and these thoughts coming up

are here to prepare you for the future. They're not here to punish you. You're not still caught up on it. You're not still fucked up over it. All these feelings are coming with messages. Now listen to the message and keep track of it. How are you not going to end up in that situation again? That's what you do.

You got this. I'm so proud of you. There was more things you said, but I'm just so proud of you. I'm like giddy because I'm like, oh, you got this shit. You're so aware of what's going on. You got this. If you've made it this far in the episode, comment a yellow heart in the comments if you're watching this on YouTube.

And if you're watching this on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, leave a rating, five stars, please. And then leave a yellow heart because I want to see who listens this far. But that is the last situation I'm going to cover for this episode of what would Leo do. If you want to be featured in the next one, it's all anonymous, but I will leave the link in the description where you can go in and submit what you want to say. It'll say WWLD submissions. And then I'll have the link. It's a little form on Google and you just type in your situation and submit it. And I'll see it and I'll read it. But let's keep doing these.

You can send me some messy shit too. Let's have fun with it. Send me some funny things. Send me some confessions. Send me some like crazy stuff. I want to see like how nuts y'all really are, but also ask advice for the things that you want to know too, or just my perspective on anything. And if you have any questions about me, you can ask those too. Let's make this fun. Last few episodes of this podcast before we switcheroo. Also for everybody asking about merch. Yeah, some things got moved around, but it's still coming.

Don't fear. Fuck forgiveness is coming. That's the collection that's coming out. But I wanted to give you a little heads up on that because I'm plotting a lot. There's been a lot of changes with my life and also the people that I work with. So just know I'm still working on it. I'm still plotting. I'm still scheming. But that is all I've got for this episode. If you like this video, leave it a thumbs up. Like I said, Apple podcasts and Spotify listeners, let me five stars rating.

Love you so much. If you're new, also hit subscribe. Leave me a little comment too and tell me you're new. All my social media will be linked in the description. My TikTok. I've just been posting like the most random funny shit because I don't care anymore. But if you want to keep up with me there or anywhere else on social media, I'll link everything below. I'll also include the link to my app, Positive Focus, it sends you positive notifications throughout the day

that are gonna flip your perspective, just cute little things that I needed the most when I was struggling. So if you're in a period of life where you feel like it's a little hard to think about the positive shit, I've got you, download that and they'll come through every day. And there's also journal prompts on that

if you wanna get into your subconscious and actually fix your life, I got you. With that, everybody be safe, take care of yourself, and I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.