Aware & Aggravated - 34. WWLD- I Ran Away To Miami

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

What Would Leo Do from Miami!  Substack:  https://substack.com/@leoskepi?utm_so...  Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi Merch:  https://leoskepicollection.com My App Positive Focus: (Apple) https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 (Google) https://play.google.com/store/apps/detailsid=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1 Business Inquiries: [e-mail]

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please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor for you. Is it working? Okay, cool. This is the most janky little setup. Surprise. Hi friends. I'm back in Miami. I booked a flight. My intuition was fluttering a little bit. Really. She was wrecking me and I have this weird itch to come back to Miami so here I am. I obey orders because last time I didn't listen to my intuition, I almost died. I'm happy again. I don't want to leave. I like life. It's nice. But since we're in Miami everything's very sporadic. Let's do it. What would Leo do? Everyone that's new, hey, new friends, this is where you guys write in and ask what I would do in your situation

And what would Leo do so I'm gonna tell you what I would do what I would does. Okay, I'm not planning none of this I'm just gonna pick them as we go this spontaneous life is a good time. Try it. Okay, first one. Why do people love bomb? Because they're insecure that you'll love them for who they really are That's it. They're gonna try and do everything they can to guarantee that you'll love them for who they really are. That's it. They're gonna try and do everything they can to guarantee that you'll love them. That's why they do it. And then when they get the confirmation, it's exhausting and they don't wanna do it no more.

How they treated you when they were love bombing you was not them. It's who they are when they were earning love. So it's exhausting, it's tiring, it's not them. So when they're trying to earn it, you like how they are when they be earning it. And then as soon as they get the validation, you like them.

They're like, okay, I don't have to put the effort no more. And then you see the real them who's not love bombing. That's T on that. Real simple. Not fun though. Sorry. Okay, next, my dad works at a college that I'm going to, so I get in free period. I don't like the people, campus, or the fact that it's close to home.

I'm afraid my disliking of this college will impact my mental health, but it seems like the financial benefit of free college for four years outweighs any of that. Should I transfer or try and find a better perspective on college? If you don't like them, you don't like them. So when I was in high school, I went to a certain school for the first three years.

High school in the United States is four years. I have a lot of European listeners now, hey. From way over there, hey. So I did three years at one high school, got bored. I was sick of it, I was sick of everybody. So I was like, let's go try something new. So I flipped to a whole new school for my senior year of high school.

A lot of people thought I was crazy, a lot of people thought I was whatever. But what did I do? Have more fun, met cooler people, had a shorter drive, because the new school I transferred to was closer to the house I was at. It was a win-win for me.

Everybody looked at me like I was fucking nuts. But that's a free thing, because it was a public school. But if you're not happy there, if you're bored, if you feel like an itch to go somewhere else, go somewhere the fuck else. Life is too short to sit over here

and convince yourself to be okay with shit that you're not. Go have fun. You asking the motherfucker who got a weird intuitive thought and jumped and went to Miami. I'm always gonna tell you to do what you wanna do. Do what feels right. That's what I'm always gonna tell you to do.

So if you thought you was gonna get a different answer, no baby, I'm not gonna lie to you. Yeah, I get the financial concern like it's nice. You got free school. There's other ways to get free school. Go do a FAFSA. That's what it's called, right? FAFSA, FAFSA, FAFSA, whatever the hell.

If you don't make enough to cover college, there's plenty of scholarships you can get, start trying. And if this is a test, here's something you could do. I'm very big on tests, I don't trust nothing blindly. So if you wanna switch to a new school, and you're worried, oh, I don't wanna deal with the financial burden, say, okay, if it doesn't line up,

then I'm not meant to switch. Go apply to a different school and see if you can get any scholarships to go with it. If it's covered and you can get it discounted or you can get it for free, you know you need to jump. If nothing lines up, that's the thing, is like throw your hands up, start applying. And if it starts lining up, you being pushed to go

where you're supposed to go. If you have to force yourself to stay, you should never stay. And that's for everybody in a fucking relationship too. I know we're talking about college, but if you have to force yourself to stay, get out. Life's gonna kick you out. And I'm only being harsh about that

because life kicked me the fuck out. I knew I was supposed to go and I was forcing to stay and it forced back. It sucks, so just jump, trust me. I'm living proof you're gonna be alright. You're gonna be like me, a drunk bastard in Miami. I'm not drunk though. I'm pissed because I landed.

It's pissing its ass raining right now. I'm like trapped inside. I feel like I'm in baby jail. I can't even go down the road and get some liquor. I would love to be drunk right now. But this is the universe locking me in front of this camera. Get your podcast out. So here we are. Okay, next advice on what to do to get my ghetto exes new girlfriend to back off stalking me and trying

to fight me. She basically is trying to fight me and threatening me I blocked already and filed a police report against her. Your ex's new girlfriend, do you have any contact with the ex? Why is that bitch even a problem? Don't talk to your ex. Am I missing something? Cut off any communication with the ex and you can embarrass the dumb ass.

Be like, look, I don't wanna fight you, I don't care to fight over that little dick man. Embarrass her, it should leave you alone. Just be like, that's my ex for a reason, go play with him. But you have to not be talking to the ex to be able to like buck up like that. So. Go play with him. But you have to not be talking to the ex to be able to like buck up like that. So drop any communication with the ex. What the hell? I'm not going to tell you to back down.

You've already kind of like done your thing. You took it to the police. Okay. Women I don't have like such a harsh, rigid view on restraining orders. You already put the police report so if she keeps trying to fuck with you, okay, now you got a paper trail in your favor. People don't realize the justice system in here to help you. So you got the police report down, so now you kinda gotta leg up.

If this bitch pops up where you are and you beat the shit out of her, you already got the police report backing you. So you could fibble a little and maybe say, she attacked me, I was defending myself. Because you already got the paper trail backing you up, that you've already had a problem with this girl. So if she comes up or shows up

and you gotta do what you gotta do, do what you gotta do. And then when the cops ask, yeah, I tried to ask for help about this bitch. And she just showed up and attacked me. So I defended myself. If I gotta get arrested, so be it. I'll let the judge hear it out. But you pick a story and you stick, okay?

Oh, here we go, this one's kind of sad. I'm gonna clock judge hear it out. But you pick a story and you stick, okay? Oh, here we go, this one's kinda sad. I'ma clock you real quick though, I'll like jolt you out of it. How do I get over feeling like I'm not good enough? Are you not good enough or are you becoming someone that nobody else is strong enough to be? Your path's gonna look very different. There's plenty of times I've felt not good enough.

Does it mean it's true? No, but the other question is good enough for who? Who the fuck you trying to be good enough for? Assess them, you know? And assess your attachment to them. What you trying to earn so bad? What you trying to like gain approval for and be like, what are you gonna get

if somebody looks at you and says, okay, you are enough? Nothing. That's not what you want, is for someone to tell you you're enough. You wanna feel like you're enough. How would people have to treat you to feel like enough? You wanna be prioritized, you wanna be loved, what is it?

You're over here fixated on, I need to be enough. No, you need to fixate on, how am I gonna feel like that? So what do I need to do? Do I wanna be somebody's priority? Do I need a partner who prioritizes me? Maybe you don't have a relationship and you wanna feel like somebody's number one. Go into that avenue of it. Because if you just go blindly into the whole,

I'm not good enough and fixate on that, what the fuck is that about? You're going to beat yourself up for no reason. Don't do that. Let me save you from it. Go do the things that are going to make you feel like enough. But you're going to see how your personal relationship with it is. Does that make sense? I hope so. The sun's coming out. Oh, somebody asked, what should I do in my early 20s? Travel. Boots. I'm gonna go on a whole

rant right now about traveling. It's not just traveling. Okay do we want to go spiritual? Let's go all of it. Okay if you feel like a weird it's like a grid worker thing for like an energy. If your energy's being called somewhere, you need to be in that place on the grid. There's some kind of match or frequency or something you have to go to. So I've always had an itch to travel since I'm little bitty.

I've always loved to travel until I got to where I was like 16 and then I was 18 and I had a fake ID and I can get a hotel room. I was traveling since I'm 18. All the time, loved to go places, do shit on my own and whatever. But you gotta be careful, you gotta be safe. But the whole thing with travel,

if you feel called to a certain place, fucking go, go. Don't worry about the money, because I traveled when I had no money. I used to love going to New Orleans. I don't know what it is about New Orleans, but I used to go all the time. When I wasn't know what it is about New Orleans, but I used to go all the time. When I wasn't making a lot of money, I would save up. And one time I got an Airbnb for like 600 bucks,

for like three nights, four days. And I drove and I stayed and I had a blast. I penny pinched, I got alcohol and drank it at my Airbnb before I went out. I would buy like one drink when I went out. So I was like penny pinching, going to different locations, I swear to God, it will unlock different insights and feeling states and ideas.

Certain ideas are only gonna hit you when you go to certain places. Different locations have different frequencies. You're gonna be a match to different shit. So if you feel called to something, go. In your 20s, go travel as much as you can. The money will come back to you. Don't go be stupid and go spend above your means,, go travel as much as you can. The money will come back to you. Don't go be stupid and go spend above your means,

but go travel. Like I said, you could do it penny pinching. I would not suggest a Groupon. That's not a good idea. And I don't do no brothel, not a brothel. What's it called, hostel? No, what's the thing where it's like shared? Not a brothel, what the fuck am I thinking?

What's the thing where it's like a shared thing, where it's like a lot of people live in the same room. You don't fucking do that. Go somewhere and be by yourself. Make sure you're safe. Make sure your shit is that you brought with you is safe. Going to festivals with friends and stuff like that is a blast. Anything you can do to travel. Do it. If you want to be a flight attendant because you get to travel for free, do it. There's ways to get to travel, especially in your early 20s. But that's something that grew my character, my ability to like

perceive shit and like my respect for culture. You got to go experience different things because I'm from a small old town Pensacola in Florida. Piddly po don't bullshit. Like it's your mind's going to expand. When I used to get itch to travel, it's because where I was at, it felt like I was in like a dome where like my ideas and my thoughts could only be so big or potentials and opportunities could only get so big. And I felt limited. And then I would think, OK, when I go to Houston, I feel like the ceiling lifts. I feel like it shatters and I can go way higher follow that feeling

It sounds weird, but you will have shit line up that you don't expect like with me coming to Miami I've been having this weird intuition to come over here. I love it here Bet Rivers is the place. Over, under, money, lines, same game, polys, it's all fine. You put a smile on your face. Bet on the sports you love with Bet Rivers Sportsbook. Take a chance! Must be 19 plus, available in Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge.

But I've been having this weird itch like the past four days. But yesterday I was sitting in my garage having a cigarette, having my morning coffee, and I just out loud, it's like something just like spoke and was like, I want to go to the beach. And I looked down at my phone and I was like, should I go to Miami? I looked down at my phone and it was 12 22 p.m. It wasn't my first coffee and my first cigarette. I woke up early, took a nap, and then I have,

that was my second coffee. That was my after nap coffee cigarette, but it was 12 22. So I took the 222 as a sign of like, let's just book it, fuck it. So I get on my phone, there was a flight for today. So I just booked it. I stopped thinking about it. Who you are when you're anxious

and when you're doubting is not you. When you have an idea for something and you just start taking the actions and letting it fold, when you shut that voice up that's trying to talk you out of it, that's when you see what you're really capable of. So for me to just book it and do it, I go get on my flight today

and I use the whole different airline. I'm not doing American Airlines no more. They can suck my dick and die. But I tried out a new airline. It's like semi-private. It's like a shared private plane. And this is when I say synchronicities will line up. So I'm on the plane.

We land. There's this woman that was sitting in front of me the whole time. It was like just funny little conversation we'd have, whatever. It wasn't nothing like serious. Like I didn't know that she recognized me or thought anything or whatever. But the plane lands and she turns around and talks to me. And she was like, Hey, we're just having conversation. Where are you from? What do you do? And I'm coming here to hang out. Oh, I'm coming for work. And it was just like the conversation. Then she goes, Are you a model or anything? And I was like, no,

why? And she was like, oh no, I think I've seen you on Instagram. Are you on Instagram? And I was like, yeah. So she's seen my reels and she saw my hand tattoos. And she said that she saw a video of mine and was like trying to figure out what the hand tattoos meant and what they said. and she was like, it just intrigued me. And she's like, that's how I kind of knew it was you. So we get to talking, whatever is cute, it's fun. And then she goes, I work for this airline.

Let me give you this thing. So your next flight is free. I booked a one way here because I was like, I'm just gonna follow my gut, my intuition, and I'm gonna leave whenever I feel like I need to leave. My flight home's paid for now on my semi-private jet. But the other gag is she is a psychic medium, which is crazy, and nobody knows that about her.

So we talked about certain things. She was like, you are too. And I was like, no, not quite. I'm not like talking to dead people and shit. But anyway, the whole point is like the synchronicity of it lining up. But also when we landed, it's pissing its ass is raining. Like I said, and typically I would get bummed out. I would get pissed off. I would get whatever. But the fact that I didn't logic my way into planning this trip and I just booked it and followed how I felt, it opens you up to a whole thing of like, you're just following how it felt. I'm like, okay, it felt right to do it. I did it. I'm here. So it was supposed to be raining. There's not this opposition of like, I planned this whole trip out and I was so logical and I

was structured and I'm trying to like grip it and control it. It's like this opposition of like, I planned this whole trip out and I was so logical and I was structured and I'm trying to like grip it and control it. It's like this sense of freedom with whatever happens, you're not impacted by it. So like the rain, it would have pissed me off in the past. And I was wearing my new Versace jacket I bought and I was like, fuck, I don't wanna get out and be soaking wet.

We're getting off the plane and it's pissing rain. So everybody's wet. And I wasn't mad. I was just like, okay. Like, it is what it is. All my luggage was soaked, nothing inside, like the outside. But everybody's like running through, it was kind of funny. Like everybody was just laughing because we were all wet.

But the point there is like following the intuition of like, okay, that's how it was supposed to go. When I go to get in my Uber, I heard this weird like thought intuition. I don't know what it was, but it was like a message and it was like baptism. Cause I was thinking about the rain. I was like, why the fuck is it raining?

And I heard baptism and I was like, huh? And then I get into Uber and we're driving and I'm just like looking out the window, all like pretending that I'm in a movie and shit. And then I hear it again, baptism. Like, what the fuck? But if you kind of think about it, I could be delusional, but like playing into it, the rain coming through

when I'm on the way here after the intuition, after this giant shift I've just made, I've talked about it in the past couple episodes, I've been like taking you along with me. My whole way of being, I've been mourning myself and my different ways that I've had to go about life and protecting myself, forcing through shit, whatever. But the word baptism was such a relief and a comfort because it kind of is one. It's like this trip felt like a goodbye in a weird way.

I'm not leaving my old life. I still have a house in Texas. I'm still going to live there. But it just felt like a whole like shedding of who I was. It's like everything's solidified now since I've been in this whole shift and it like hearing the baptism thing, I was like, T it kind of makes sense. Cause like I'm fully in this shit. And the way things are lining up is just crazy. That's a side tangent, but the whole thing with traveling, absolutely travel for most all the reasons I said. But also when you travel to a place you don't know, it's very character building because you only have yourself to rely on. You don't have normal

people that you know, you don't have connections, you don't have familiarity with where you are. You have to adapt and survive and rely on yourself. When you have that, I feel like that is a piece of character, a big piece of character people are missing now. It makes you want to hit them upside the fucking head because people just don't have the ability to rely on themselves. They have so much learned powerlessness. And when you travel to an unknown place and you're forced to rely on yourself and your own capabilities and your own brain and your ability to read situations and read people and still have fun and do your thing.

You can't have any learned powerlessness. You can't have any kind of false hopelessness or powerlessness or insecurity. It's a very confidence building thing too. So my advice in your 20s, early 20s, whenever, honestly, is travel your ass off. Because like I said, what you think you know now, when you get to a new location, new frequency. And one thing I've learned about ideas and life paths and kind of like trajectories and shit

is there are things circling you all the time. It's like, imagine it above your head, like circling. And until you get to a certain place or a certain point, it can't land, like it can't hit you. So there's so many times I've thought a certain way about so much shit and I go travel somewhere and then new ideas fall in and it's like they land and it changes everything.

And I go home a new person every time I travel, I love it. So yes, that is my advice. And you 20s, travel your ass out. Oh, here we go. We gotta talk about being afraid. How do I detach myself from my toxic yet loving family? I'm afraid. I don't wanna talk about detaching from a family.

Oh my God, two birds just flew over here. Two little parakeet. What the hell? Those are not pigeons. Those are parakeets. Wait, I'm gonna put in a photo if you're watching this on YouTube. Me thinking I know what birds are,

it's a green fucking bird. Ha! But anyway, the whole thing about fear I wanna talk about. Fear is like a really, really good symbol. A lot of people don't know what to do with fear and how to feel it. It's like you feel it and then you start doing shit because you wanna prevent what you're scared of

or you get anxious and you feel the fear and then you start doing a bunch of random shit, or you start taking action. What I've learned about fear, especially the past few weeks, these little birds are so cute, I keep looking at them. Don't mind me. But what I've learned about fear the past few weeks

is it's not a sign that you shouldn't go forward a lot of the times, it's a sign that you're on the brink of a place you've never been before with becoming a version of you. You never been before or getting something you've never had before, but you've been wanting the fear will get you to that point. And it's like, if you step forward, it flips. There is going to be a grieving process.

There is going to be a whole loss of your life as you know it and a loss of the version of you as you, it flips. There is gonna be a grieving process. There is gonna be a whole loss of your life as you know it and a loss of the version of you as you know it. It feels like you're digesting yourself emotionally. You will feel like you are mourning. Literally yesterday, when I was packing to come on this trip. When you want a bed on sports, played on a field or ice or courts,

the rivers is the place. Over, under, money, lines, same game, polys, it's all fine. You put a smile on your face. Bet on the sports you love with Bet Rivers Sportsbook. Take a chance! Must be 19 plus, available in Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. When I said it felt like a weird goodbye, I started getting scared shitless.

It got so bad. My panic and fear started getting so bad that I was like, am I having an intuitive thing of I'm going to die on the plane tomorrow or something? What is this panic so bad? It's like impending sense of doom. But that was the fear that came from me taking the leap to come on this new journey and see what the hell opens up with my intuition and like being guided here, there's something gonna happen. This I'm like here three hours, but there's something here that's going to shift and like

lock in my shift, really flying here locked in the shift and how I am now. But there's something bigger coming and I can feel it. And it's like following that. I don't know what it is, but it's terrifying. But at the same time, it's like that fear will come up. You have to go into it. You have to just do it. Sit down and cry and boohoo. Let it be scary.

Don't be the person who gets up against what it is you want. Like the potential of being right there and you feel scared and you don't know how to interpret the fear so you step back. Do not do that. And I'm not saying be stupid and if you feel scared walking down a dark alley to make yourself go down, that's a danger thing. Okay, that's a fight or flight mode thing. But this can also trip on fight or flight because last night I was having like a full fucking panic. So that's a new perspective on fear that's helped me a ton is like it doesn't mean you

should stop. It means you're about to grieve something, whether it's you currently or your life currently or a belief that you have about how things go for you and your belief about life. Something's got to give when you feel fear. So is it gonna be you or is it gonna be the thing blocking you to where you want to go? That's your choice to make. So how it relates to your family, leaving a toxic family, whatever it is, yeah, it's going to be scary. Is it a guilt or is it fear? Learn how to label the emotions better too. Because a lot of people think that it's fear, but it's really just guilt. There's two different ways to handle those emotions. They're different

emotions so you have to handle them different ways, but hope that helps a little. Okay, next person said, why do I, a 56 year old broken ass man feel like I'm stuck on a treadmill storms pass tree branches fall on you while you're stuck in one place. Shingles are coming off of your roof. No matter the energy or positivity I throw out into the universe. Here I am stuck on that fucking treadmill. I don't know what you mean by treadmill, but it seems like you're just walking in place.

Like you're doing things, but you're not going anywhere. Nothing's changing. That's kinda how I interpret that. Could be wrong, but I'm trying to like channel it a little and see what you mean. But the whole thing of feeling stuck on the treadmill, shit's falling, you're trying to be positive and do things. Get off the treadmill.

Stop walking in place. That's like a set of habits that you're trying to be positive and do things, get off the treadmill. Stop walking in place. That's like a set of habits that you're doing consistently. Yeah, no shit, nothing's gonna change. I know that seems like abrasive, but it's the truth. If you're doing the same things every day, you get on the same treadmill every day, and you're trying to force positivity, you don't have to force positivity at all.

I don't have to force my happiness at all anymore. Like, especially the past month. Like I said, since the shift, I don't force nothing. I don't have to force my happiness at all anymore. Like especially the past month, like I said, since the shift, I don't force nothing. I don't have to force the happiness. It just comes, but I'm not doing anything that I used to do. I might do certain things, but it's not the same way I would do it. And I have all different behaviors and strategies and reasons for doing shit. So if you just wake up and you're like, Oh, I have to go on autopilot, break it.

What would you do if you didn't have to get back on the treadmill? Because it's literally just one step off. It could be one habit you switch, one thing you do different, one thing you see different. Even if you just say, okay, I'm gonna stay walking on this treadmill, but I'm not gonna try and force positivity.

I'm not gonna try and force to throw nothing out. That's good. Storms keep coming, branches keep falling. Okay, so even if you just switch and say, I'm no longer gonna force myself to try and be positive when I don't like where I'm at, good. Because being on that treadmill, when you're not trying to force the positive,

you're sitting there in the truth of it, of where you're at, what you're doing, and how you're feeling. The changes that you need to make will become very clear. So don't try to force being positive. Let it be shit. Because you might be like, oh, I don't know what to change, I don't know what to do, I don't know what step to take

to get off the treadmill, I don't know how to get off the treadmill. Keep walking it without a fake lens of where you're at. You're sitting there stuck on the same shit that you hate. No more fake positive, no more nothing. Let it hurt, let it suck, because then it's gonna be real easy to see, oh, I'ma just sidestep it one time.

Woo, now I changed everything. And then once that first step happens, everything unfolds with what you need to do different. It's just a clarity piece. So when you're trying to lie to yourself and delude yourself, I'm happy, no, I have to be positive. If you don't like the treadmill, you don't like it.

Even if it's gold fucking plated, or it's made of gold, you can still not like it. That's a big thing with life. People look at me like I'm ungrateful because I do what I do. I don't give a damn. I'm allowed to want more, and so are you. If you don't like the treadmill, step off.

And if you don't know how to step off, or you're scared to step off, stop with the fake bullshit and fake positivity. Fake feeling better about it. Feel how you feel truly about it and the clarity is gonna kick you in the head. You'll fall off a treadmill, trust me. Oh, this one, okay.

I've been with my husband for 15 years. Two years ago he cheated on me without protection and gave me HPV. I can't forgive and forget. You don't have to. First thing I'm gonna say, you shouldn't. Feel like you have to forgive that or feel better about it. You're allowed to be fucking hateful about it.

It's fine, I love you. I feel like I need, ooh, oh, this my girl. I feel like I need to revenge cheat on him with someone. I can't shake it. I love him, but I'm not okay with cheating, unless I get mine too. What's your suggestion? I no longer have HPV. Do not let him get you out of character. If cheating is not something that you do or want to do, and that's not something that you do, don't do it. Do not let him bend who you are. He already fucked

you over enough and cheated on you and betrayed you. You stayed you tried to work it out I'm sure you listen to everybody else's fucking advice of you can heal through cheating you can work through it No, you fucking can't so you've already given enough do not give that part of yourself Also just to spite him. I'm getting the chills talking about this do not lose part of yourself in revenge Do not lose part of yourself in spite. I know you wanna fuck his shit up, okay? The way you do it is abandon him. Literally, you can just sit him down and be like, look, I cannot get past you cheating.

I tried, I can't do it. It don't sit right with me. I hate you. I genuinely hate you. Let it out, be honest. Be like, there's no way through it. Go to a lawyer before this and already have the divorce papers in your hand to stand on that business because it's not gonna be just a conversation of like oh you're just

pissed off you're gonna say hurtful things and then be done. No you slapping papers down and saying exactly why. I cannot fucking get past it. The only thing I feel like I could do to feel better about it is to fuck you over the way you did me. I wanna go cheat on you. But I'm not gonna let myself do that. So what's best for both of us in this situation is to split. Let's make it amicable, but I had to be honest, I can't keep living like this, it's done.

That's fair, fully fair. You not killing him is you doing great. I don't know what it is with cheating, but like, it's the most disrespectful thing in the world. I've cheated in the past and I've done the whole thing of like, oh, you did it to me. You fucked me over. So my whole reasoning was like, I feel so fucked over and so bad about myself for me to just leave feels like accepting defeat and like letting someone

get one over on me. So I cheated and it was only after a point of so much absolute betrayal from the other side I had to do something to get my get back. So I did it for myself. The person never found out, but it was my first relationship. I did it once and I committed to myself. I'm never doing that again because I'm never going gonna allow myself to be disrespected so bad, I get pushed to a point to do that.

So from my experience, I hope that helps. And from what I told you, you're not wrong for how you feel. And if you have tried for two years and you still cannot get over it, babe, you tried. You have every reason to leave. Nobody can fault you. It's not like you didn't try to leave nobody could fault you

It's not like you didn't try to work through it. No, you tried you did two years You gave it and it's done nothing but destroy you and rot you get out of this situation and get out with your full self Do not react to this and go fuck somebody else and cheat back Just for him. That's not for you, that's for him. You feel like it's for you, I get it. I fully, fully get what you mean. But the most hurtful thing you can do is look at somebody and say, I do not love you.

You're not worth what it takes to be with you. I cannot forgive what you did to me. I tried, it's done. That's gonna cut them so much deeper than you going to cheat and back. And it's going to make you feel better because once you leave, you're a whole new bitch. You'll never tolerate that again. You show yourself, you'll stand up for yourself and you will leave. You're going to have so much more self-respect handling it that way versus the other way. You feel better about going to sleep with somebody else. Then he washes his hands of the guilt of what he did to you

because, oh, you did it back. People get to minimize what they did not feel so bad about it. So don't give him that and don't go just cheat back. It's going to make you feel worse. I know you think it'll make you feel better. It'll make you feel worse. I kind of regret my situation, but I don't because I learned. But I hope me going through it means you don't have to.

You will respect yourself so much more if you just leave. That will lift you up. The other one will take you down. That will turn you into him. Do not do that. Oh baby, should I keep trying or leave? But I'm afraid to let go. Let go of what?

What you know you don't want? Is having something that you don't want better than opening up to the possibility of something better? Like I get the concern, I get the fear. Anybody in your position will be shit scared. But like keep trying. That means you've been trying.

It's a dead end. I've talked about this in the past. It's like when an animal needs water and it goes to a watering hole and it sees that it's empty, it's not gonna sit there and freak out and try to make the watering hole fill up with water. It's gonna walk off and go find a new one.

Like imagine a little zebra. Okay, he needs some water. He's gonna go try and find some. He goes to a watering hole, it's empty. Okay, he's gonna walk off and go to the next one and find one with some water. The zebra's not gonna sit there and freak out and be like, oh my God, why am I not good enough?

Why can't I make it fill up? Be like the zebra, girl. That comes from a video from Teal Swan I watched a long time ago, I love it. I think it's called The Zebra and the Watering Hole. She talks about that whole analogy. If you want help with that, go watch that a lot of people have a lot of mixed opinions about her

I'm someone who can separate insight and knowledge and things that I can learn from the person I Don't think the allegations against her are true. I don't understand the cult leader shit, but I don't really care I'm the type that like takes what I can learn and leave. There's certain things that so many different people from so many different backgrounds have said that I can learn from. That's how you fuck yourself up,

is by locking down and saying, I don't like this person, so I cannot learn anything from them. Everything about them is bad. But that's the video. If you wanna go watch it, go watch it. I don't give a damn that people don't like that I've watched Teal Swan's videos

and I like some things that she says. Boo hoo. Info is info. You think every motherfucker who said anything good, everybody liked them? No. Okay, next person, quick, to the point, I love it. Getting motivation back.

And then they added a detail. All I do is sit on my phone all day. I need to get my life back. But I don't know how when there's no motivation keeping me going. You're not gonna find it while you're distracted. That's what be, why are the cops blinking their little lights and running their sirens

outside right now? That's scaring me. I don't like that. I swear. Like I don't do nothing wrong. I don't do nothing illegal. Everything I do is taxable. Everything's great.

But like I still just get anxious when cops come by. I don't know if you could Everything I do is tax to bill. Everything's great. But like, I still just get anxious when cops come by. I don't know if you could hear it or not, but whatever. I'm over here acting like you're here with me. But the whole thing with getting motivation back, if you have a distraction in front of your face all the time, duh, you don't know what motivates you, duh. You don't have anything of your own coming up. You're just consuming.

You're being prompted on what to think, what to watch, what to feel. People make videos now that are like, everything's so calculated on social media. And that's why social media is so fucking draining. This is a rant we about to go into. Social media is the most draining shit now because it used to be something you could just go

and scroll and it's whatever. Like my content on social media on TikTok and Instagram has been doing so well because it's carefree, you can just go and scroll and it's whatever. Like my content on social media, on TikTok and Instagram has been doing so well because it's carefree. You can just watch it. You don't gotta have your guard up because on TikTok it's like you swipe one time. It's an ad you swipe again. It's some random person's live. And then you swipe again. It's some person trying to sell something. You swipe again. It's one good video. You swipe again. And then it's some other ad and you want to train the algorithm to not keep feeding you that shit. So like you

have to sit there full attention at your phone and train your algorithm. And you're like, I don't care about the ads. You don't trust anything anyone says when it says sponsored. It's like, it's very draining because you're very on guard when you're consuming social media now. And like you saying that you have no motivation. Yeah, you're tired too. You're drained because you're very on guard when you're consuming social media now. And like you saying that you have no motivation. Yeah, you're tired too. You're drained because you're not just scrolling. Your attention's fully on it and you're like invested emotionally and like energetically. It's like, it's very draining to sit there and play on social media.

But if you just sit on your phone all the time, I get why you would want to distract yourself. In today's day and age, the phone is more fun most of the time, but it does you would want to distract yourself. In today's day and age, the phone is more fun, most of the time, but it does come a point where it's like, okay, I've scrolled for too long, I'm bored, or I don't have no motivation, I feel drained, and then you look on social media and you laugh a little, or you feel a little inspiration or something,

and it's like comforting, so you feel like you have motivation. It's like the only thing that can make you feel something sometimes. That's an addiction. The phones are set up to make us addicted to them. We all are addicted to our damn phone because we don't leave the house without them.

I always got mine in my pocket. I got two, I'm recording on one and this is the other one. But with motivation, you're never gonna know what motivates you if you don't spend time with yourself. If you constantly are being taught what to think and what to watch and you're being like pitched and like entertained, you're never gonna be able to feel what motivates you. You got to put it down. It sucks for like the first day until you realize, hey my life's more fun. I'm like

a bored with social media now. I don't watch social media. I post and get off. I watch my own shit, sometimes. I like the funny videos. The dogs getting zapped by electric fences and the one video where the donkey's laughing at the dog. Oh my God, that makes me laugh. Cats being cute, people falling down.

I love the funny videos and the stupid shit, but I don't really watch anybody on social media. Like my friends, I'd be stalking all of them. I got to see what everybody's up to. But yeah, once you put the phone down and you start doing things, you'll realize, wait, I'm actually cleaning. I'm actually organizing. I'm actually working on myself and going to the gym. I'm doing this random shit. I'm enjoying my environment. My effort is for something. And you're like, wait,

it's only been an hour and I've done 25 things. It like warps your whole perception. So put the distraction down if you want motivation. It sucks. Like I said, for the first day. And then you do all kinds of fun shit. Oh, this one's sad, but I'm going to help you. Someone said how to love yourself. I'm overweight and I feel like that's why my family doesn't like me. So, ah, this sucks. When I was younger, I thought it was the weight thing too. Like when I was younger, I was overweight. And when you have an insecurity, it is so easy for your brain to fixate and say, this is why people don't like me. It's going to happen to your biggest insecurity. So if you are overweight, if you think people don't like me. It's going to happen to your biggest insecurity. So if you are overweight, if you think people don't like me because I'm overweight, it's your brain's way of finding a way to control the situation. So for you to just say, I don't know why people don't like me,

powerlessness is going to come up. You're going to be frantic. You're going to panic. You're going to be all skee, like a what the fuck? Your brain don't like uncertainty and your brain doesn't like not knowing. So if it can attach an explanation and a reason to why people don't like you, it's my weight. Okay, my weight is something I can control. Boom, you have control over the situation. You have control over people liking you or not liking you. And it's kind of like your brain's way of copying out of seeing other avenues,

but it does keep you stuck and it will make you insecure and make you hate yourself. So there is people from all different shapes, sizes and colors who I love dearly. Everybody is lovable. Everybody is loved. There are overweight people who are loved. There are underweight people who are loved. Anybody can be loved. So to say this one thing about me is my barrier to love, it's not.

It's your brain's way of finding a sense of control over not feeling loved. And that's a hard pill to swallow. It is, it is. But I don't love people less because they're overweight. I have friends who are overweight. I have friends who are losing weight. I have friends who have gained weight.

Weight doesn't matter. But your brain will fully convince you that it does. And the way that social media is right now, turn the damn phone off and go out in public. People are not going to be mean to you just because you're overweight. That's not fucking cool. It's not that common. And people act like people who are in shape like me, judge everybody who's overweight. No, we don't. We don't give a damn.

People who see the value in other people, it's not about weight. It's like the most weird thing, because I know exactly how you feel. I used to be the exact same way. And I fixated on it so hard. I was like, there's no way for me to lose weight. Nobody likes me. Nobody wants me. Because I'm overweight.

I fixated so hard on losing weight. And then I was like, I can't lose weight. It's not working. Everything I train ain't working. And I went down this fuckin' science rabbit hole, and also going through nursing school helped me, where I learned about the human body. I'm like, okay, it's a numbe's game.

If you wanna lose weight, you can. Anybody can. So I lost the weight. And then it was, it's the way I talk. It's the way I walk. It's that I don't do this job, it's that I don't play this sport, so I would work that job, I would play that sport,

I would act this certain way, I would not act other ways. It's just gonna keep flipping. What you have to see is, it's just your brain's way of finding a sense of control. Some people are gonna like you, some people aren't gonna like you, and it's not going to be determined by anything other than who you truly are.

That's what's going to make you feel loved and feel cared about. Stop looking at the weight shit. As soon as you stop seeing your weight in your own mind and stop having that as the forefront of your fucking brain, you'll stop seeing so many consequences around it. And a lot of people, I got into this too. It was like every single time something happened, I was like, it's because I'm overweight. Anybody looked at me wrong or mistreated me or something just happened in life. Like I'd fall down or trip or something.

It's like, ah, cause I'm overweight. Everything goes back to that. It's like the weirdest, most uncomfortable and worst way to live. So I wanna expose this, what I had to learn the hard way of suffering through it and exhausting myself trying so much different shit. Before I finally realized, hey, you is lovable.

Look for how you're lovable, not how you're not. You'll see more than you think. All right, next person said, how to know what and where to start healing yourself. Huh. My version of healing and what I look at, like what I see healing as is undoing what was done. That's really it.

Sometimes you can't undo what was done, but certain things happen and they impact you in a certain way. So the best thing you can do is what was done, but certain things happen and they impact you in a certain way. So the best thing you can do is experience what you wanted to in a different scenario. But like with loving yourself, you have to see why it was safer to not love yourself. Why was it better to not care about yourself? What did it keep you safe from? How was it better for you not to care about yourself and not value yourself?

Same thing with value. How was it safe to not see my value? When I say undoing what was done, undo the safety you felt in not seeing your own value. That's the undoing part is your perception of everything. That's the healing shit. The other aspect of healing, you're watching me go through it live the past few weeks, is own yourself fully. What you think, what you feel, every single thing, own it. If you like something, you like it. If you don't like it, you don't like it. How you feel is how you fucking feel. If you said something that you don't agree with anymore, own it.

I said it. I don't agree with that anymore, but what now? Okay, you're going to still cry and freak out and scream take that childish shit somewhere the fuck else own yourself that's another really big one but the Sun is setting I'm excited I'm about to go out it's finally stopped raining so I'm about to go to liquor store get some lique put on a cute outfit and I'm gonna go out if you want to keep up with my whole little Miami escapades, my social media will be linked in the description.

It's just Leo Skeppy on everything. I post pretty often on TikTok and Instagram now. If you watched it this far in the episode, comment a sunshine emoji because we in Miami. I always say comment a certain emoji at the end of the episodes, because I'd like to see who makes it this far. Also, I'll leave my substack in the description. I've been letting you guys in on the back end of the whole design process of the clothing brand and the brand in general. I've upgraded from merch me into

a merch no more. All right. We taking it there. So if you want to see like the real behind the scenes, I'm sharing it there, but it's private because I don't want a lot of people in there. I like the little family we got. Also, I fixed my app, Positive Focus. It was like not sending notifications for a minute, but I got everything fixed. Cost me five grand, but we're back up and running on that. If you want to feel like I'm in your pocket, sending you a little notification throughout the day, that's what the app is. It's called Positive Focus.

I made it to sending notifications throughout the day that will shift the way you're thinking in a better direction. You don't gotta do nothing, just read it and then see what happens. But if you wanna download that, link will be in the description. Everything you need from me is there. Also, if you're listening to the audio version of this, hit the download button and rate me five stars and all that.

Okay, love you so bad. I'm so excited. Okay, it's time to go have fun. Everybody be safe, take care of yourself, and I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.